#there’s a chance I might deactivate later on lol who knows

[cinderellacore]

Maybe taking a break from this (i have lot of stuff queued for the next 10 days tho🤍)

[thedispatched]

The Twitter user that wrote about how C-ent works also something last night about what would happen or the implications of wayv being in china. I don’t know if you want to link it too but I did read it when she posted it and it ended up with me reading about other things that go into government of the CCP and entertainment. 😐 But it was about how wayv in china if he does leave does not mean wayv is safe from trouble. They will also have to continue playing by the the government rule that might include showing support for Chinese policies and such that i don’t think western audiences would agree with. For ex the xinjiang cotton and Red Sea line that has happened. Chinese idols, some big name and small names, from the kpop groups posted in support and I remember reading many comments about how pissed international and just not Chinese fans got because they didn’t agree and they started canceling and saying that they rather have Chinese money instead of keeping their morals. But back to that thread by the Twitter user, I don’t think some or most of the qrt understand what she meant and used it as an excuse that she supported him staying in the group. I honestly think she was just pointing out how some of them word themselves why they want him out a little differently/weird (?).

I do want to mention that grain of salt rumors. If I’m allowed to that yang yang rumor of spreading hate isn’t real. The person who started it came from yy fanpics Twitter (who had changed to multiple usernames) and was known for a lot of anti shit including other group members and seconds after it was posted people yelled at them for starting fake stuff and they immediately took the tweet down and deactivated. The hendery thing someone has said that it could be allergies cause someone said they saw him scratching the areas during press conference he was part of.

Ps thanks for the thread and for allowing people to have discussions.

(If I don’t make sense it’s because it’s late and I can’t comprehend much right now 😅)

I think this is the tweet you’re referring to?

As someone who stans Lay and sometimes checks in with what’s going on with Chinese celebs in general, I know what you’re talking about.

Chinese celebs are forced to show support for their country whether they agree with certain things or not which leads to a lot of backlash.

The Chinese market is a very tricky thing. And internationally, there is a negative view of China in general. Honestly I always think that if you’re going to stan a foreign artist, you need to understand how their industry works as well as their culture and country.

For Chinese kpop idols who showed support and got backlash internationally, let’s remember this: China is their home. They are Chinese citizens. They have to show support. (And I assume some/most/all want to establish themselves in that market.) support in their homeland, in my opinion, means more than international support because 1) that’s where they end up going later and 2) if they wanna continue their career later on as a soloist where will the go? Home most likely. Plus aren’t their families still living in China? Not supporting could be bad for the family, I think.

When the government / politics is involved it’s not just about morals, it’s about safety & saving their careers.

The government has nothing to do with Lucas’ poor decisions when it comes to these girls. WayV’s careers wouldn’t be safe just because he left, but the way I see it, they’d have a better chance at actually establishing themselves more and whatnot if he did 🤷‍♀️

As for the “grain of salt rumors” I wasn’t sure if they’ve been debunked when I wrote the post so thank you for letting me know and I’ll make an edit!

I’m not sure if I actually answered anything or gave any insight, but thank you for being respectful! And I wasn’t expecting anyone to read my post or interact with this blog lol.

[nightowlgunner]

Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

[dearly]

some responses/questions to my vent post under the cut. 

everything we’re seeing? i started to think they might be broken up in 2017 and everything that has happened since the “hiatus” only makes sense to me if they broke up at some point after it took place. 

i mean, even in the beginning of 2016 there were indications that they were still together, imo, including matching travel patterns and the bears until their deactivation. but that fell apart later in the year and i have a hard time imagining how they could still be together when the label that is rolling out a red carpet for harry is the same one that is stifling louis -- especially when harry has the azoffs on his side. i can’t reconcile the tightening of louis’ closet and the loosening of harry’s with them still being together.

of course, i could be wrong. they could very well still be together. i’m open to that. but i also don’t think it’s relevant. their images and their career paths have diverged to the point that it would be incredibly difficult for them to be a public couple. so i don’t see the point in thinking too much about it, if that makes sense? my focus is on

well as you’ll see below a lot of people disagree that there were any stacked cards. and the media... i’m sure they know bc papa azoff has his fingers in all the pies but they’re not going to report it as such. 

i honestly have sooooooooooo much to say about this. i’m legit curious as to where you’re coming from. are you a present day larrie? or just a harrie that saw this post and decided to complain? because i have a hard time understanding your perspective. it’s not about if he’s with louis or not. regardless of who he is dating he has received opportunities and treatment and hype that is way beyond what i think he deserves. RS cover, talk comparing him to legends before a single song was released, the SNL debut, the BBC 1 year solo celebration 4 months into his solo career (like i’m sorry but i will NEVER get over that.) how many times did he co-host the breakfast show? twice for the full duration? a whole WEEK on corden. that excessive grammy pondering campaign. this is just what happened the FIRST SIX MONTHS of his solo career.

you’re really comparing that to niall doing local iheart shows? (btw! if you’re seeing a lot of similarities between harry and niall when it comes to performances and tours... it’s because they literally have the same booking agent. so there u go.) and liam being a model for hugo boss 4 years into hiatus after establishing himself on the fashion scene (maybe you’re just not keeping up with him but uhh... yeah he worked for that?? are you kidding?)

additionally-- harry being “the face of 1d” was not organic. you realize that, right? his exposure multiplied when the azoffs entered the scene, and h*ylor contributed to that as well. it was a very deliberate move. 

i think it’s disingenuous to pretend like a lot of harry’s praise has come directly from distancing himself/dissing 1d and especially louis. it’s not about harry making sure everyone gets the same opportunities--he was already taking every chance to stand out when he was still in the band lol why would he help anyone else now?-- it’s about HSHQ not shitting on the others and using them as springboards and exacerbating the situation. it’s about him blacklisting the band. doing a “rebirth” commercial. having his bisexual headlines coming with a side of “not like that homophobe louis tomlinson.” do you understand? or do you just not care/not see it because harry is your priority?

and to be clear i don’t subscribe to the ‘winning’ narrative. but it’s out there and it’s having an effect regardless of how i feel about it. 

idk if this one belongs to the three parter above but... you’re missing the point. the met isn’t going to “change” people’s minds because it’s playing into the existing narrative. i can be annoyed about how that’s still being reinforced. and i am. 

i honestly try to keep perspective and i’ve been doing pretty well but i think the universe spitting in louis’ face just as he was getting rolling has really affected me. i cannot imagine what he has gone through, and i want him to get everything he deserves.

i was so hopeful that things would resume properly once they announced he was going back to work but it’s just been the same shit we got two years ago. this is garbage promo. and i don’t know how long i can hold on with that going on when everyone else is sailing past.

and here is a side note unrelated to these asks... i think i’m also really frustrated by a lot of the larrie excuses i see for what’s going on. i don’t engage in conversation about these things because i think everyone is entitled to what they believe and my input/pov is not necessary and not asked for. but it still....bothers me... to see the blatant hypocrisy in how harry v louis are treated by people who are supposed to root for them both. it bothers me to see people blame louis for things that he has no control over? the good ol houie narrative is so fucking annoying and it doesn’t make sense. it bothers me that people so easily dismiss louis’ ambition and suggested he didn’t want to go solo--to the point of rejecting evidence that refuted an ANON. anyway. i’m just a ball of venting today. that is all. 

[flort-dbrorch]

Things Tony Stark does in Spider-man Homecoming

He’s established to be massively profiting from cleaning up the mess of his own battles. The injustice of this arrangement along with the carelessness in the actual management of this damage control provides the motive and means for the Vulture to become a villain, making this yet another marvel villain created by Tony Stark. Not that Stark is responsible for Toomes’s choices--but his own choices have consequences and this is one of them. 

In fact Toomes directly parallels Tony Stark by scavenging the wreckage of Avenger’s battles and becoming an arms dealer. (Think--Tony creating Ultron out of Chitari tech). 

He made a sexual comment about Peter’s aunt, which clearly made him uncomfortable.

He leaves Peter, a child who he has just equipped with a weapons-grade super-suit, to his own devices (under the light supervision of Happy Hogan to be fair) without communicating to Peter his actual expectations for him. He leaves him with the inaccurate impression that he might be called to join the avengers at any time, so when he is silent and distant, Peter, a child, naturally concludes that he must simply “work hard enough” to get his approval. 

When Peter starts tracking the weapons and trying to tell him about it, Tony acts dismissively--he tell’s Peter to drop it, but gives no indication that he takes Peter’s concerns seriously or will follow up on the problem. He states that the weapons--which come from tech that he is responsible for--are “below the Avenger’s pay grade.”

He did send the FBI, but honestly he sent those agents to their deaths at the hand of futuristic tech (again, tech he is responsible for safely disposing of!!) if Peter hadn’t been there to save them.  

He put a tracker in Peter’s suit without his knowledge or consent--yes, to be able save his life but also to monitor if/when he left the city. When Peter first asks about it, he distracts and evades the question. When Peter makes it clear he objects later, he is told that the choice is not up to him. At no time do they have an honest conversation about how closely Peter is or should be watched---this encourages Peter to keep his own secrets and to go behind their back. 

He programs suit he gave Peter to default to insta-kill mode at the drop of a hat. This feature was, admittedly deactivated under the “training wheel’s protocol,” but this only makes it clear that Tony’s idea of who Peter will become and grow into with experience is basically a killer who works for him on his Avengers team. 

So Peter get’s in over his head, and people could have died of the Ferry if Stark didn’t come save the day. Is it time for a lecture? yes. It’s time to finally  communicate to Peter that he is being heard, explain what his expectations for Peter’s behavior are, encourage him to ask for help when he needs it. It is not time to shame Peter, to place the guilt of all those endangered lives upon his (young) shoulders, to remove all the support he had initially given him, fire him with no warning or second chance, and tell him “I was the only one who believed in you--the other’s thought I was crazy for recruiting a kid” (as if??? everyone criticizing Tony’s Choice to recruit a kid into Civil War meant that they didn’t think that the kid had talent or potential?!?!)

There is zero (0) indication that that lecture and firing was the “tough love moment he needed to pull through” that Tony later spins it as. Nothing about that lecture inspired or motivated; Peter lost the will and the means to continue searching for the Vulture until it literally smacked him in the face by pure coincidence. Instead, it is pretty clear that in the wake of loosing Stark’s support Peter gains confidence in his identity as Spider-man and a hero independent of Stark’s validation and technology. 

So Peter saves Tony’s butt by preventing all his crap from being stolen and this earns him back Tony’s favor. So what does Tony do?? Well, he arranges to make Peter, a minor, a part of his team and move him up state away from his aunt and school without his aunt, his legal guardian’s, knowledge or permission. 

So yeah. you know in the end, even if Tony Stark is, like, the worst superhero out there, I actually think he is an interesting character if his flaws are actually treated like flaws. My reading of Spider-man Homecoming is that the movie is actually pretty honest about Tony’s character flaws while preserving many of the things people actually like about the character--so I really appreciate the movie for that. Spider-man’s ultimate rejection of Stark’s offer to join the Avengers was sweet, sweet music to my ears lol. 

[lordgeales]

One entire year at Tumblr :D

DEAL WITH IT

An entire year at Tumblr running a rp blog for a vampire that we now know.. A tiny bit about. Instead of just a whole lot of nothing. When I think about it, I don’t think that much has changed, but looking back... It has. Back when I started up, I honestly had no idea how the customs of tumblr RPs worked. I didn’t know about rules, formatting posts, icons... Honestly NOTHING at all. I’m still amazed that no one yelled at me. 

I think I caught on pretty quickly tho, four months later, I made this blog. Changing from a sideblog, to a main. And boy, that changed a lot. With that came the new icons(why did I decide to go all out with them... Whhyyy), promos, rules, a design(that is very old holy-), and everything a RP’er should have. At least according to tumblr. 

Although I have to say that I still felt a bit alone being on tumblr. I never really got to speak to people OOC, and the ones I reached out to.. Oboi (((: Let’s forget about that. It gradually became better. In May I met what I’d call my first “tumblr friend”. Who unfortunately isn’t very active RP-wise anymore.

December was wild compared to the rest of my time. Starting with a meme that led to me getting to talk with Lily(@elyon-kurae​), not to mention the dear Vero(@monophagia​) joining in on the RP :D! That has led to yet another chain event, and I’m very much involved in the RP community now. I think I finally understand what it’s all about.

And although I’ve been through a lot, weeks of inactivity, spikes of activity and shitposting, tons of asks, lack of asks.. Hm, well, we’re still here. I still have the pleasure of talking to most of the people I did back in the days, and a lot of new to call friends.

The people I’ve been interacting with through the time under the cut. Read at own risk it’s very... Long.

People listed in the correct order they appeared at my blog c;

@lestkarrkingofeurope: Starting out with a strange RP on a drawing I won(reblogged just before this post~). I have no idea what we were doing, but it was a lot of fun! Also the reason I even stumbled into this community to begin with. Lately I’ve had the pleasure of being... blessed a lot. Save me from my sins, oh holy tsunami.

@forgottenprogenitor: I think you came along with Lest, with your former muse, Akane. I adored that RP, giving me a chance to show some of Urds more gentle sides. Akihiko was the absolute breakthrough though, I adore him. I love our interactions, and look forwards to yet another year!

@tatsu-rose-bathory: YOU CAME WITH A FLOWECROWN! I remember that much :D! It took a few weeks before we eventually interacted, but I was pretty much in love with Tatsu from the start(still very much am). I really enjoy reading about her, not to mention their occasional small talk they do nowadays. It’s so nice having someone around that Urd actually looks at with gentle eyes ;-;

@makotonarumi/@dusksovereign​: Unfortunately no longer active, but just for the sake of people reading it - Holy fUCK?! When you first reached out to me I was soooo confused. Still am. You are/were an amazing writer, and honestly I felt so bad whenever I wrote replies, because.. Ah, I didn’t feel worthy at all. You were extremely nice to me, however, sending me all kinds of anon-love, tagging me in memes... Ahh. Thank you so much. I don’t think you know how much it meant to me. Just. Thank you. And I’m sorry for being such a slob with the replies.

@ferid-trash-bathory/@shusaku: Turns out you’ve been around forever. Through it all. Wow. Sometimes I do wonder just how bad of an impression i left back then *lol*. Ah, I remember us talking every now and then, it’s just lately I’ve come to know you for “real”. I really like your portrayal of “Fred”, not to mention Shusaku.... Who I might have been a bit mean to back then.... *coughs* Aha, but I’ve been sure that you were nice for a very long time. Still very happy that I reached out to you about the Egypt AU. Although Vero was dying in the background. Best meme lord. Also someone I can always trust to help Urd get revenge on Saito. Gotta get back at that ass amirite.

@mrsaitou: “My first real Tumblr friend” ahh. I really miss having you around. We talked a lot about... I don’t even know. But we talked a lot. I can’t even remember if it started in May, where the first meme with you were tagged, or if we started talking later on. I think I have your personal somewhere... Might dig that out sometimes soon to hear what you’re up to.

krultepxs: Deactivated, unfortunately... A Krul I had tons of fun with, planning all kind of strange stuff. Urd keeping Krul a prisoner after her treason in the Kremlin. An AU where they had to marry. Unfortunately we never got to RP, or plan that much due to me going hiatus for a few weeks. 

@lvstforblood​: OKAY WE BONDED OVER A MEME... And then never talked again. Rip. But if you ever feel like rp’ing, you know where to find me. Winks at.

@asurayuucentral​/@perfectasura​: I can’t even remember when you started coming around tbh, but we haven’t interacted that much. Still I feel like you’re kinda my friend, and I love to see your little likes and crack reblogs ;-;! Also I’d love to rp with you some more whenever!

@erisblonde​: Wonder if you’re still around and into the fandom? We’ve theorized a lot about Urd ahh... Unfortunately it kinda died out - probably due to me going inactive. I tend to do that a lot, huh... Just know, that if you feel like talking theories, hit me up. Anytime. Anyday.

@riddlemehiss/@dil-a-to-ry: WOOP! MY FAVORITE CAT! Okay I was kinda skeptic when The Cheshire cat waltzed into my askbox. But surprisingly I really enjoy his interactions with Urd. You play him amazingly, like holy shit. I’ve enjoyed every single second. Also you’re a really nice person, I think I still see you around every now and then, although Cheshire is on Hiatus. But if you ever feel like reviving him... You can count on Urd to be confused by his lack of respect for gravity :P!

@masterofzawarudo: Can I just say that I love everything about Dio. Although Urd doesn’t. In fact he’s probably annoyed by every single fiber of his being. Sorry for not reaching out to you more often, you’re seriously awesome. Although I find it kinda hard to connect on the strength-level, since our muses come from such different verses. BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON’T FIGHT I’M UP FOR ANYTHING. COME FIGHT ME! YA! wait, don’t do that. Fuck. Also I don’t follow you because I don’t watch Jojo, and you post so much stuff about that rip, still love your blog tho

@kruliisms: Hmmm... Here’s where I’m in doubt. I never wrote it down anywhere, but are you perhaps Krultepxs? Ah, I don’t know. What I know for sure, is that we never really got back to RP’ing, and that you’ve gone inactive yet again. But just to let you know, if you ever feel like doing something with Urd - you’re more than welcome to hit me up :)!

@krullish: Hmm... I think we planned something a while back, but never got around to do it? But anyway, if you feel like RPing with the... shitty russian vampire lord, well... Here I am. Still around c;!

@repulsc: EEEYYYYYYY CASCADA AND LATE NIGHT SHIT POSTING! That my jam. Also chain kinks. I did not say that. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything aside from shitposting and endless icon threads of stare-battles. Always up for more. Or smth serious, whatever you feel like. Winks very hard at.

@brassboundvalkyrie: I think I first noticed you for real when you commented on a picture of me(the mun), however I never really got around to talk to you. Unfortunately our muses are not very compatible orz! BUT HEY! Suddenly you were there, yelling to me about Vero, and whelp... I accidentally joined. Whops. You’re a real nice person, and I looove your Horn. Hope she’ll find a Crowley soon. Until then, I’ll suffer in silence with you. Looking forwards to meeting you c;! Just... No straw, and no masks, k?

@wintersoldier-barnes: Wiggles eyebrows Please send me more Urd. Send me all the Urd. I love the Urd. Gimme the Urd. Urd drug buddy. Also yet another sinner of the SaiUrd squad. Feel free to send me (n)Urds at any times, or just anything in general. You’re amazing to talk to, so~! Also you’re a really pretty Urd holy shit

@rk-silverknight: You just fit in here for some strange reason, because Noblesse yass! We’ve never interacted ic, but you’re still a really nice person! I hope we’ll get to talk some more sometimes in the future. Or perhaps break the bundaries between our muses worlds... Who knows. Perhaps they could actually get along.... Or just have a silent starring contest. 

@elyon-kurae: I can’t even... How did we go from relationship meme to... Talking about high and low? You are an adorable person, and.. So sorry for ruining your innocence orz! BUT EYY SAIURD BUDDY~! Also corner buddy, Tumblr sis, and everything really. I like you tons <3

@rigr-stafford: It’s really nice to have you around! I know we haven’t talked much ooc, but just stretching a leggi out and saying EY I LIKE YOU TOO! Looking forwards to our future interactions!

@borntobeafangirlxd: I think it’s really cute how you manage to like my posts all the time. Aaahhh, you probably have no idea how much it means to me! I’m so happy you like my portrayal, 

@monophagia: How the fuck did the tag “Another traitor has joined the game~” END UP IN A THREAD WITH MIKU, A TV BEING IMPALED BY A SPOON, AND MAKEOUT ON THE BLOODY FLOOR?! KJLaslfhalskfd. I cannot. Even. Just... Lol. Also you liking that Saito-rp-partner ask, and actually making a blog for him is probably the best thing that happened in my whole Tumblr history. You almost deserve a whole post by itself, so I’ll just stop before it gets too long lol. I love u bby, and I fucking adore your Saito. Be it angsty human Saito who gets way too dramatic whenever Urd ignores him, the priest who adores his pharaoh way too much, or the canon-vampire with his weird pudding obsession. You’re a joy to write with, and honestly I’m amazed we’re still keeping it up. I’M SO HAPPY YOU REACHED OUT TO ME?! OK SEE U IN LIKE... SOON. Don’t kidnap me for too long when I come to Germany tho. I cannot German. 

@playfulprogenitor: For some reason I can’t tag you? BUT just want to let you know, that you’re free to swing by anytime! It was really fun seeing you join in on the shitposting! 

@lacus-owns-you: We actually interacted through your OC @louischerel long before I even knew that it was you on that Lacus account. HELLO MOMMY! You’re a joy to talk to, and although we rarely RP, I still enjoy haning out with you ooc <3!

@hiiragi-yukine: Aaah you seem so nice! Although we haven’t really spoken outside the RPs, I really enjoy your OC. Also Yukine as faceclaim doesn’t make it any worse noragamiftwamirite.

@ALL THE PEOPLE I PROBABLY FORGOT

Thank you so much for following me! And I’m so sorry if I forgot you, I had to go through a lot of posts, so I probably did orz.

@ALL MY ANONS

I LOVE YOU TONS THANKS FOR ALL THE ASKS THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT

AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING URDS BUTT I know it’s amazing

He secretly loves you too

[uniqueanjol]

Signs of Wolves: The Invite

Perspective- Layah

When we got the invite it was honestly like any other day. I know it was the 18th because, well that's when the invites are sent out every year. I never thought we would get one. But... every year I would hope secretly that we would. This event, this moment changes people's lives I don't know how or why, but it does. I never wanted it for myself. I wanted it for Ceia. For years she's acted out, done crazy things. I can deal with crazy, but it's not crazy I had the issue with. She would do things year after year getting more and more reckless, hoping and wanting to die or get locked up.year after year I stop her from it. I love her, she's my best friend. I thought when we got a place together she would be happier, she was for a while. Then, disaster hit and she spiraled and got worse than ever.

The day of the invite we had both gotten off work, as normal I was home later than she was and she had cleaned the house and got my work cloths out for the morning. So I assumed she had been home for about two hours, I was so happy to see her. She looked at me and smiled, but I knew. I knew something was up. Her dark hair fell over her eyes when she looked at me and I could see the struggle in her smile. She was wearing long sleeves, that means she had slit her wrists. She's been happy lately, that means she did something stupid. " how was work" I asked as she walked to the fridge to grab a beer. " honestly not bad today" she replied, I could smell the beer that was already on her breath she had been drinking before. I'm like, a F.BI. agent I notice things, and just put them together like a puzzle. She wasn't talking to I decided that maybe it wasn't too bad. Whatever it was. I could tell she was still sad.

I wanted to bring up the date, but, I knew she wouldn't care so I continued with our conversation. Eventually I got a Smirnoff, and asked if she wanted pizza and she said yes. I figure we both had the night off, so why not enjoy the night while we could. I quickly grabbed the Aux while she ordered the pizza. We both have different taste in music and if she got it first we would be listing to someone screaming about daddy issues. So instead I played songs we grew up on and BOTH like. I could feel the energy build between us as the alcohol set in and she knew I wasn't mad at her. I played what's my age again by blink 182 and she jumped on the couch and sang to a crowed that didn't exist as I moved my hips and ate my pizza. Then I played 1985 by BFS and she fell dramatically on the couch. I sang, to her and she sang to me when we messed up the lyrics we laughed and we both started to dance.. I enjoy our moments like this so much, coming home and having someone to vent to and care and just have fun with. It's priceless. It's these... these...

Then I saw it. Threw our curtains near the front door. Whatever she did early today caught up to her. "Ceia, get down" I say trying not to yell. I can't tell if I'm mad or just worried at this point. Breath layah, I think to myself. You've done this a thousand times before. I lol down at my chest; thank God I didn't change into my pajamas. I walk to the front door and turn off the music. I do a quick glance to make sure Ceia is gone. I tug down my shirt just a bit to show the girls and open the door. "Hello officer and who do I owe this visit too?" I bet my eyes hoping to get a response. He looks at me, glancing at my body, his eyes follow the curves and then licks eyes with me. I do a quick glance back at him, he's nothing much to look at but I have to play it off.

"Uh..uhm," he chocked just a bit on his words then trys to keep his composure. " we have word you might know a Ceianita, zoeman?" I look down, and squint my eyes. Putting my arms underneath my chest to raise them just a bit, then letting my breast drop as I place my hand on my chin. "No, I don't think I do, I think I've heard her name once or twice at the bar down the street, but, that's it. Why?" I ask him with a confused look on my face, I'm sure to use my innocent voice. He sighs, "well she assaulted two gentlemen at the bar you were talking about." Sounds like her I think to myself then I ask, " assault? What did she do to two grown men!". I'm honestly just curious at this point.

He then shakes his head at me, I'm not aloud to give that information out miss."

You think you can't tell me that information, I smirk to myself in my own mind. Then place my fingers on his chest doing a walking type motion to his neck. " but, officer" I smile, " I'm so curious, what if she becomes a danger to me? I want to know what she capable of... please?" I ask while I bat, my eyes.

I could see him sweat, "uhm." He takes a deep breath then looks back at me, " it's honestly impressive, she was groped by a gentleman and took her beer, finished it. Than, smashed his beer on his head, when his friend tried to jump in, she then held the smashed bottle to his throat. She left before police could arrive."

My blood boiled, I was so mad I could have just scrame right then and their. I smiled at the officer and with all my kindness asked him to leave. Once I closed the door I felt the rage boil in my chest. I then smashed my fist into the door. " why" I muttered under my breath doing all I could not to scream.

I turn and walk down the hallway to tell her the coast is clear. Every step is like I'm stepping on hit cohals. "Duuuuudde" I say as I swung open the door that leads to her room. She had just got to her feet and I looked down at her. I wanted her to know I was mad. She needed to know I can't do this much longer, she's going to get killed one day. Her brown doe eyes look up at me as I skolded her. " what were you thinking!" I scram as she looked down. I felt so bad for going off on her I don't even remember what I said.

Then, in the heat of the moment the door bell rang. My heart sank and I told her to stay. I walk down the hallway thinking to myself. What if he came back? What if this is it? What if that's the last thing I told her? What did I even say? I shake the feeling because inhale to keep myself together. Before I open the door Iglance out the wondow.. no one's there. I hesitate and begin to open the door, I can feel my palms sweating as I turn the knob.

Opening the door I take on the cool breeze of October. No one's there. I look around the yard, nothing. Then I look down and all the feeling in my body gave. I dropped to my knees, it felt like I couldn't breath. This is our chance... I can't control myself, all the rage, the boiling anger subsided and turned into happiness. I felt the weight of the world had just been lifted off me. I took in a deep breath and scram a scream of relief as I held the two golden envelops In my hands. Chosen, is the word that laced the front, my name was written in the upper corner and hers on the second. My mind went blank. I could feel her reach over me to grab the one with her name. I started at the envelope as thoughts of the people who were chosen before us all lived better lives after this moment... I shake off the shock and open it. A little letter popped out and it read.

This is an initiation the annual party hosted by Mr. B. This is a once in a life time opportunity and all who have received this invitation where chosen for a reason. This, is a special year. You cannot reject this invitation and will be given a specific set of instruction and rules. Anyone who rejects, or choses to disobey rules will be executed.

-Do not tell

- No electronics

-All social media must be deactivated the 23rd at 12am. No explanation posts.

On the 24th at 1:30pm a black car will pull into your driveway. You are to already be outside. You will pack for approximately three days be sure to bring casual and formal clothing. For the first night dress your best. You are not to call out to work, they are already aware of your absence. Do not call to double check. You will not tell friends or family of your absence. Silence is the key. Also your name is irrelevant here, take that however you wish.

P.s. it's a party, so have fun.

I read the words over and over. This can't be real, I think... it can't be. The. I hear "we have a little less than a week" Ceia, I know analyzing every word... it is real... This is our chance. My heart burned with relief and hope.. the last thing I remember is hugging Ceia. I remember because that's when I knew she was willing to change... our lives could change.

[kailasquires]

In Case You Missed It...2017 In a Nutshell

In 2017 I pulled a bit of a Disappearing Act, and deactivated most of my online and social media presence, which was already pretty limited to begin with. This was somewhat of a cleanse for me, as I gave up drinking alcohol and deleted my Instagram account for the entire year, and deactivated my Facebook for a large part of the year. I must say that life without drinking and excessive social media browsing has forced me to engage in alot more self-reflection and for that reason I’ve decided to re-introduce my blog. I tend to be a pretty private individual, but for my final activity in 2017 I wanted to be open and vulnerable.

There’s no real topic for this post, but it’s centered around personal life, career, faith and relationships. Instead of simply boring you with a long monologue, I’ve chosen to create a list of 50 things I experienced, learned or appreciated this year. I hope you enjoy. 

Top 50 List of 2017

1. There’s power in the tongue. Start speaking things into existence ! 2. Time is of the essence, so live your best life while you’re still alive 3. That being said, don’t try to rush things. God willing we have 70+ years on this Earth, and that’s a lot of time to fill with love, laughs, accomplishments, failures and new experiences 4. My year sober taught me to be bold, shoot my shot and take the things I wanted in life. Lesson Learned: If you need help with something, don’t hesitate to ask. If you want something, Go GET IT!  5. Don’t ever rely on another person for your happiness. If you haven’t found your happy place whilst being alone, that just means you haven’t spent enough quality time with yourself 6. My brother wins Dad of the year, and I’ll fight anyone on that 7. I love to receive and give feedback. If we’re not constantly improving ourselves, what’s the point of living? 8. Jesus was a servant, spreading love and salvation to all. In the end, The Word of God will ultimately judge us, so I’m making sure I’m aligned with His Word  9. The way to my heart is comedy and food 10. Maggie is one of the most resilient people I know. Keep shining SB!  11. Applying to business school was one of the most arduous, mentally draining and stressful processes of my life, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat :-) 12. Child rearing/parenting is one of the greatest responsibilities a person can undertake, and it often goes unappreciated or unnoticed. No parent is perfect, but it’s important to still say thanks to the ones who raised you. THANK YOU MOM & DAD!!! You did an incredible job with my brother & I  13. If a person de-prioritizes you, don’t get angry or question why. Instead respect their decision and repurpose your efforts elsewhere 14. MLT  is one of the greatest organizations I’ve ever been a part of. My MBA prep class is filled with impressively talented, accomplished and fun black and brown folks. I’m forever grateful for the experience I’ve had with you amazing people #BosslandAwaits #CoachJTaughtMe 15. I dated a man with whom things just seemed to click naturally. He was honest, funny, caring, and NOT petty(lol). I believe we both brought out a side of each other that those around us had never seen, and for that I’m thankful. Although this kind of puppy love is exciting and heart-warming it is often times short-lived 16. Chance the Rapper was my favorite artist of the year. He has a God given talent and I pray he never stops shining his light    17. Noise canceling headphones are the best thing to ever happen to a New Yorker who enjoys a quiet commute to and from work. #ThankYouBose 18. I believe in every single one of my friends wholeheartedly and am proud to say that I’m surrounded by incredible people who I am 100% certain will be the industry leaders of tomorrow #WholeTeamWinning 19. Fellas..When I love, I love DEEP and can be a bit crazy at times. Enter at your own risk. *evil smile* 20. But I’m hella fun and you’d have amazing life experiences with me lol 21. I should’ve bought Bitcoins back in the day when I kept telling people to invest. Note to self: Heed your own advice  22. Emotional Labor is real 23. Black women are Dope! 24. People who don’t fit the description in the above comment should NOT take offense to that. I’m sure you’re all amazing as well, I just think that this group of individuals needs to hear it more often. 25. When Isi tells you to wear a life jacket, DO IT!!! Thanks again for saving me from drowning off the coast of San Andres into the Caribbean Sea :-*  26. 🗣Life is too short to waste time dealing with fickle people  27. This scripture single-handedly helped me fight against all the angst I felt while applying to business schools:  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” - Philippians 4: 6-7 28. I find it terribly rude when people don’t return phone calls or texts. Like I know you saw my message, the least you could do is say “ok” lol.  #PetPeeves 29. I held up an Uhaul distribution center over a disagreement and went on a twitter rant the next morning; Probably the most gangsta moment of my life, and a great showcase of my millennial sense of entitlement #SorryNotSorry 30. Everyone should engage in the self reflective, soul searching elements of the business school application process: it’s always necessary to press pause on life and take an inventory on where you are and where you say you’d like to be in the future  31. Bikram yoga was one of my favorite practices of the year. I always left feeling empowered and rejuvenated 32. I find inspiration in almost everyone I come in contact with. I’m amazed by people’s stories and wish we could publicly recognize everyday people more often. Low key, I wish I could meet every person in the world.  33. In hindsight, not getting my promotion at work in 2016 was the wake up call I needed to grab a hold of my life 34. I would love to work for Bain & Company in 2 years #SpeakingItIntoExistence 35. All Men Are Trash!!!!!!! 36. Good guys of the world, don’t take offense to the previous statement but with the rise of this #MeToo movement it’s become so apparent how many men impose their hypermasculinity upon us women (ie. inappropriate touching, unsolicited peen pics, street harassment etc.)  37. Barbados might actually be paradise, and it took me 26 years and a vacation with my friend to realize it. Moral of the story: some of the greatest treasures in life might be right in front of your eyes, you just need the right circumstance to help you see it  38. I love to see people smiling and enjoying nice hardy laughs 39. I tried Ramen for the first time this year and it blew my mind!!!! Gotta go to Japan ASAP! 40. Never trust when a man says “I can’t” because when he says I can’t, he ain’t a man. Okay maybe I stole this from Love & Basketball, but I’ve learned it’s so true though! lol   41. I want my next relationship to be God-centered. Period 42. Moving to Harlem has been incredible!! I love the culture, communal harmony and overall liveliness of the area. I can only imagine what the place was like during the Harlem Renaissance #RespectTheCulture 43. This year I limited my traveling to save money and focus on the GMAT, but I still was able to sneak in a few new cities: Budapest(Hungary), Salzbergen(Germany),Medellin(Colombia), Albuquerque, Tulsa and Greenville!  44. One of the best things about moving back to NY is being able to minister  at my home church again, as the resident saxophonist. I feel so much more fulfilled on Sunday mornings 45. This year i was determined to rid myself of gossip, idle talk, & foul language. I’m hoping to speak peace and prosperity into people’s life from now on #BuildingABetterMe 46. In a relationship, “women cannot go backwards in lifestyle” . Chris Rock taught me… 47. God has been too good to me to just sit on my gifts and talents. Laziness is far from Godliness. Disclaimer: This is not a direct quote from the Bible, just my own interpretation haha 48. This year I tried to be very intentional about the words I speak to myself and others. These days I find it’s so easy to say empty words, make & break promises and to be a “yes woman”. I’m hoping to be more genuine and true to my heart from now on 49. I’ve tried dating apps for a bit this year, and still think there’s nothing like meeting someone organically in a cafe or at a nice bashment. However, I can say there are some gems that are so hidden that you need to mine for them electronically ;-) #CoffeeMeetsBagel 50. By God’s Grace I was accepted into all 3 business schools that I applied to. Next year I’ll either be moving to Boston, Philly or Chicago. See you later NYC, I’ll be back in no time :) #WontHeDoIT

Thanks for listening. Peace n Love 

Kaila

[therichlittlebunny]

Triggered

*deep, long sigh* It has been a really long, exhausting few days and I am soooooooo fucking glad it's over and done with. Nothing is worse then fighting with your man when you work @ 6am then again in the evening into the night. I just... I'm wondering how I've made it since Sunday night. Somehow managed to get to work early, deal with a non stop flow of customers for 6hrs, come home to fight with him. Get in the worst nap or none at all, barely eat and then do support work for kids with autism. Allah blessed my life though and we finally got shit resolved. OMFC That took a lot out of me. Basically Big Daddy was triggered. Not too shortly after we'd just had a disagreement so tensions had not gotten a chance to completely settle. 😤 Sunday night around 8:30, I called it a night while he was playing LoL. I was already exhausted and had to wake up at 3:30AM to get to work for 6AM. Thank God I only have to take one bus to work and it practically drops me off right in front of the building. We're also currently in the middle of a bit of a pregnancy scare because I'm craving things, hungry all the time, falling asleep on myself, having cramps, recently I've started feeling nauseous and having heartburn. And the classic need to pee. I'm peeing literally every two hours. So after coming back from the bathroom for the umpteenth time that night, just before I could drift back off to sleep... Honey Bunches hmu on FB. He's having a crisis. Now to be fair he's been describing his life as a BDF or burning dumpster fire, for like two or three weeks. I didn't force him to tell me what was going on but offered as much emotional support as possible and let him know I was here when he was ready. So that night he'd just hit his breaking point and come undone, was having a meltdown, crying in his car. Shit. He was in an old area of mine so I went out to get him because he needed the support and being from the Falls (Niagara Falls) he didn't realize he was having a moment in a super sketchy area of downtown. So as I'm heading out, I text my Big Daddy. He worries about me going for late night runs, I knew he'd worry even more about me traveling so far, so late. Unbeknownst to me, that was a big mistake. I am very forth coming and transparent. I have nothing to hide. It was also a matter of safety in case something happened, God forbid. I missed a GM text once and he spent the entire morning at work (he works the same time as me) wondering if I was okay and if I was pissed with him. I literally just slept right through his whole shift. Lol But that night, I had stroke a chord and triggered him. I never knew all the details of what his ex had put him through or the extent to which she lied but I was quickly about to find out.😩 I have never hated a person more in my life, who I had never met. I am liable to fight her upon introduction. The entire trip downtown was spent reassuring him that I was just going to help a friend in a crisis. He knows it's not unusual for me to leave at like 2AM suddenly because I had friend tweaking out on meth, or having a bad acid trip or threatening to kill them selves mid panic attack. I'm just the person that is usually called because no one else seems to be able to get through to the person in question. I'm used to it. I don't really mind either. I'd rather not wake up to the news that someone has dropped dead. At some point Big Daddy dismisses me completely after I tell him I will update him when I get home. There's nothing to worry about. That didn't mean shit in that moment. The second I get in around 3:20AM, I messaged him to let him know I'm safe, what happened and give him that GM text. A little stressed with how he had reacted, I crawl into bed and fall asleep. Only to wake up a few hours later to the most passive aggressive text ever. WTF. He has under handedly accused me of being unfaithful. W.T.F....?! I shut it down with pure facts real quick because that was bullshit. A few hours pass and he angrily responds that I had been lying, maybe even from the beginning and he wasn't having it. What...in the actual fuck?!?! At this point I'm exhausted because my sleep was shit, emotionally stressed out because where in the fuck was this coming from and starting to get really depressed because it was becoming increasingly clear that he wasn't hearing me. At all. He was just looking for things in my text, FB and whatever else to back up his anxiety fuelled rage. I tell him as much but again I was just lying. Like I had lied about my sexual history and what had happened in that 8 months we had been broken up. He accused me of the same deceitfulness as ex. I exploded. I called bullshit so loudly it was a wonder my mother didn't hear it. He had launched me into a full on anxiety attack and I was quickly spiralling out just as Honey Bunches messaged me on FB to check in. He immediately knew something was wrong because my spelling and grammar had gone to shit. Punctuation and articulation had fucked off so he called instead but that was a mess as well because I was like two seconds away from blacking out because I was barely able to breath. That man had to talk me into breathing. 😭Convince me to get out of bed because he could already tell my depression was setting in hard and fast. "Get dressed. Doesn't matter what you wear. I'm outside waiting." He had driven all the way back while on the phone with me. I don't think he had ever seen me so covered up in all black and silent. He convinced me to eat after Big Daddy got mad at me even more for, "running into the arms of another man". Honey Bunches got me stop and think rationally when Big Daddy wouldn't. "You know what is going on with him. He doesn't realize he's spiralling out. Ground him. Get him to stop and think things through with you. You can't be emotional, hit him with logic." "Be Spock?" "Perfect. Be Spock." That was great theory but didn't necessarily work that. Our fight blew up yet again. A good chunk of that night went to pure hysterics on both ends. All boiling down to me telling him that he could pretty much go fuck himself. I wasn't his ex and he was a fucking asshole for the reach he made to draw a comparison. God willing I'd drop dead. I think that's what snapped him out of it. Losing me. The idea of never seeing me alive again. I cried myself to sleep and woke up to a text begging me not to hurt myself. I said nothing, only rolled over and fell back into a fitful sleep. I woke up heartbroken and pissed off. My response reflected such. He said nothing. I told him when I got home, fell asleep waiting for a call. Sent a text full of heartache when I woke up from the most disgusting nap. Depression had set in. He said nothing. I tried calling but he didn't pick up. I curled up in bed and began binge watching the last thing we had been watching together. Tokyo Ghoul. I had given up. Deactivated my Facebook since the night before and didn't go on any social media. I was getting ready to go to bed when my iPad dinged. He responded. I instantly burst into tears at the very first words he'd said to me all day, "I love you..." He was terrified. I meant everything to him and he had been such a jerk to me. He handled the situation like an asshole. He was dead ass wrong for every thinking that I could stoop to the same level as his ex. He hadn't responded, hadn't answered any of my calls because he was ashamed of himself. Had been the moment he told me to back off the night before. We were in such a similar situation as the one he'd gone through that he couldn't help but start to panic. As unloveable as he thought he was, he couldn't bare the idea of losing me again or that he had been stupid enough to fall for the same shit twice. He couldn't go through either one again. We spent nearly the whole night texting. He was still to embarrassed to talk to me on the phone. Needless to say I was dead at work after only three hours of actual sleep since Sunday. He's still apologizing. We're finally going to talk on the phone tonight. This might be a good chance to get him to watch my favourite Bollywood movies 😋