#there’s literally no consequences it’s not like burning items in a video game or playing monopoly or smth

[sharkieboi]

made a deal with an aberration thing in DnD tonight and I don’t think either the DM or the other players were expecting my character to accept so that was fun on all fronts

[superectojazzmage]

Thinking about doing a BioShock replay so getting this old essay/observation thing I had in my drafts for awhile and actually making it, but something I’ve kinda realized is that the reason (or maybe just one reason) that BioShock Infinite isn’t as fantastic and well-constructed compared to the iconic original (or even 2) and has had people souring on it a lot in the years after it’s release is that it forgets the real core that BioShock was built around.

Namely that what BioShock is really about is video games themselves as a medium. BioShock is a story about video gaming, a meta exploration of video games and their gameplay, narratives, and developments. The world of Rapture is carefully constructed entirely around this idea.

Rapture is a small, isolated, contained location where people are free to do whatever they want within the confines of the “system”, just like the world of any video game. A playground where people can be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want to do without fear of consequences, even things that would be regarded as evil in a normal world.

Things like plasmids and vita-chambers and Adam and Eve are all video game mechanics taken to their logical conclusion — upgrades/spells you have to genetically modify yourself into a monster to use, checkpoints that literally stitch your mutilated body back together when you come close to death so you can keep “playing”, experience points that are an actual physical substance you need to acquire to become stronger, power-ups and health pickups that are literally just addictive drugs in hypodermic needles.

And, of course, the famous “would you kindly” twist and everything involving Atlas/Fontaine and the way you can do things/use items that all the NPCs and enemies can’t is all one big warp on the idea of player characters and how players behave in video games. Your character is basically a human robot, a living weapon bred and altered and programmed from birth to be able to be like that.

You can use checkpoints and do all these freakish upgrades to your body because you’re built to be able to. You do everything the objective marker/weirdo over the radio tells you to is because that’s what you usually do in video games you’re programmed to do it, and it’s engrained so thoroughly in you that even after the spell is ostensibly broken, you just instinctively default to following a different voice’s orders. And the splicers, those dumb enemies you’re fighting? Previous players of the “game” who got in too deep and now stalk the maps, killing everything in sight and obsessively hunting for more experience points and unlockables.

The characters of Rapture, the people who built it, are twisted parodies of game developers. A controlling, hypocritical, and narcissistic auteur director, Andrew Ryan, who doesn’t believe in anything except himself and his “vision”. The pretentious prima-donna artists and writers like Sander Cohen who pour their neuroses into the work and on their coworkers. Character designers represented with a crazed surgeon, Steinman, who views people like paintings. An environmental designer, Langford, so obsessed with getting every detail right and perfecting the trees that she doesn’t notice or care about the office around her burning. Uncaring, abusive managers and producers like Suchong who don’t care what they have to do to get the project done. Cutthroat meddling executives like Fontaine who slip into the artistic world and play it for their own ends. And all around them, hapless programmers and play-testers and interns responsible for the actual nuts and bolts that make the game function suffering under the crunch or being discarded at a moment’s notice when they’re “outmoded” or try to unionize.

The central point of BioShock at its core, is to deconstruct and examine the nature of the medium and genres of video games. It is an exploration of what a world would have to be in order to function like a video game world does, it’s setting carefully constructed around this idea, and the answer is… a horror story. It’s a tale that can only really be told as a video game, because it is so inextricably linked to that medium of storytelling.

Infinite doesn’t have ANY of that.

There’s no consideration for the artform and construction of video games, no commentary on gaming culture and ideas. The worldbuilding has no central theme beyond whatever theme was in Ken Levine’ head at the moment, hence why the game cycles through God knows how many ideas without doing justice to any of them and has a completely nonsensical setting and overall plot that looks superficially smart but falls apart at a moment’s examination. The characters don’t map to anything. The gameplay doesn’t map to anything, and in fact is usually completely incongruous with the setting and story. The only thing that maybe could be seen as a twist on the gaming medium is the multiverse plot point/lighthouse scene possibly reflecting on the idea of sequels, but even then it’s so half-formed that I can’t even really discern what point they’re trying to make.

You mindlessly slaughter thousands of people to get to the next cutscene where your characters suddenly become actual thinking humans again and start responding to death realistically. You down drinkable plasmids that are barely even tangentially acknowledged by the narrative.

Compare how intensely interwoven things like plasmids and vita-chambers are with the story and worldbuilding of OG BioShock with how vestigial and barely acknowledged similar things are in Infinite. Compare the complexity and nuance of OG BioShock’s setting and characters with the cartoonish stereotypes and simplicity of Infinite’s entire cast except maybe Booker and Elizabeth themselves. Infinite can barely pick a single thesis to discuss, let alone grapple with its nature as a video game. If BioShock 1 and 2 are a story that could only be told in video game form, Infinite is like a book or movie shaped peg that Ken Levine is smashing into a video game hole.

I don’t know where I’m going with this other then making this observation but yeah. I am curious if Levine will have learned the lesson with his upcoming not-BioShock game Judas, or if it’s going to be the same pretentious bundle of incoherently jammed together ideas that Infinite was.

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

A rant of personal experiences and trying to do something positive with them:

Okay so procrastination is a huge thing in ADHD. Same with memory issues. (Not that these are always present and maybe some people experience both without being ADHD).

So. Here’s an experience I’m just now (at almost 40) realizing was a thing:

Imagine a huge essay/report/project requiring a lot of research and several sources was due in a few weeks. The advice was always to break it down, take notes, and make an outline. It made perfect sense. And maybe it does help some or even most people.

But for some, like me, it was still impossibly overwhelming and breaking it down was worse. The project was often boring (especially if I had to ignore a hyperfixation to work on it) and even if it wasn’t, it still felt like A LOT when my brain was full of TV static and my memory was shit.

It takes a ton of repetition for me to even temporarily remember something and even then, it will likely be gone again in a few days. UNLESS I learn by actually doing something or figuring it out for myself. And my brain gaslights itself like “do I remember that right? No that can’t be right. Let me look it up for the 100th time to make sure.” And I’m WAY more likely to remember concepts or physical processes but completely forget the terms for them or names of things or important dates EVEN FOR MY HYPERFIXATIONS, damnit... Like, I can do a bunch of crafty stuff and even remember some common terms and items but not the less common fabrics or stitch types or tool names. (Yet somehow I could remember the exact location of hundreds of thousands of items of inventory at my craft store job... even if I didn’t know what they were called. But I stocked them and had physical contact with them so I could picture where they were.) The number one overwhelming thing for me about trying to be a pro at anything is trying to remember terms so it sounds like I know what I’m talking about.

Anyway...

Without acknowledging that, I ended up wasting time by trying to schedule research/work in small chunks because every time I stopped then tried to start again, I wouldn’t remember what I did or looked at last time. (Can I also add that this is why being interrupted is infuriating for me? It probably seems irrational to other people but it’s so hard to get focused on something and now my train of thought is derailed, passengers are dead and injured, and it’s going to take who knows how long to revive the survivors?) And maybe that wasn’t so bad the first time because I’d only have to reread one page of notes. But then it would happen a few more times and my focus would be blurred and I’d repeated myself multiple times in the notes and they’d become a mess and look horrible which was distracting and I’d feel overwhelmed by having to reread and now rewrite several pages and focus would be even worse because I did remember some bits and blanked out while looking at those then stay blanked out then I’d have to reread again to catch the parts I didn’t remember.

But.

If I waited until the last minute, when the consequence/reward system overrode how overwhelming or boring the project was, I could burn through it because I was in constant contact with the material and it was all currently on my mind and I could skip writing notes and an outline and go straight to a fairly decent flow-state draft then keep going through revisions and editing all without forgetting WTF I’d researched. And it would be done in so so so much less time with a lot less effort and frustration.

And...

AND

And then there’s the schedule thing and why it DOES NOT WORK for me. If I schedule doing something (or even if someone suddenly wants me to do something right now) and my brain is like, “nah sorry, just static right now,” there’s absolutely nothing I can do to make it work and I’m just going to get frustrated and tired and depressed and discouraged. But if I keep a loose list of things that need to get done and indicate which are priorities, I can look at it and say “yeah. This one seems doable right now.” No I’m not going to get up and vacuum that spot of cat litter at this exact moment but it’s a good idea to do it soon so I’ll add vacuum to the list and probably get it done later the same day. If the cat throws up, that is an immediate priority so I will get up and make sure they’re okay and clean it because my brain does actually recognize things like that as super important. If a bill arrives in the mail, I’ll stop and pay it right away because I know I don’t have to think/worry about it again if I do. But what sucks about that is that society wants and often understandably needs people to work on a schedule. And I just... can’t.

But I’m trying to take this knowledge and apply it, trying to accept that this is how I function. I function based on a system of priorities that get done in order of “absolutely must be done right this second, whether for my own reasons or outside reasons, even if I need to drop other things” to “this is what I CAN do right now.” Not something pre-scheduled. If I need to leave something to the last minute then I’m just going to accept that that’s how it’s going to be and that’s okay. Then I can free up energy and space to do other things in the meantime rather than worry and be anxious and beat myself up because I should be doing the thing and end up hating things I like doing because they’re not what I should be doing and now there’s a negative association with them. No. Screw that. If all I can do today is play a video game then fine. Gonna enjoy it. Because I now know for a fact, from years of experience, that I will do the important things. They just need to wait until I’m capable of doing them. And... if I let myself stop worrying about old WIPs... They get done eventually too. It might take a few years but as long as I don’t actually decide not to do them, they will get done.

All that said... I still want to look into meds because it would be nice to have more of an ability to focus more regularly. I just need to clear up some other medical stuff first and I’ve got appointments already set up for that.

One more thing... I f$&#ing hate the attitude teachers have about doodling in class. It was literally the only way I could focus during lectures and remember anything they were talking about. I could look at what I drew and remember what was being said while I drew it. F$&% every teacher who took away my notebooks or yelled at me for it. Without it, I’d zone out completely. And THANK YOU to the art history teacher and biology teachers I had who not only understood but encouraged it and actually helped me direct it toward the subject matter by suggesting drawing thumbnails of the art or cell structure or anatomy.

[undertalethingies]

Confessions

It was a normal conversation. They’d been talking about politics or sports or some book they’d read, and before they’d known it the topic had slid to their time in the Underground. Undyne was talking about their “fight” and how annoyed she’d been, when all they’d done was run away. She didn’t seem to notice how they’d gone quiet, which they supposed made sense, since they were always quiet.

“Hey punk, speaking of fights, who was hardest? Was it Asgore?” She asked it like she already knew the answer, and no one looked at Sans. Why would they? Frisk felt like laughing, but it wasn’t funny.

“OOOH, DARLING, WAS IT ME?” Mettaton proposed, posing dramatically as always. Again, no one looked at Sans. For a moment, they considered lying, giving some easy answer that wouldn’t raise questions, but the words just wouldn’t come.

“you ok there, kiddo? you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable,” Said Sans. Hearing the genuine compassion in his voice, they broke. Frisk began to giggle, then to laugh, tears running down their face.

“uh, i know i’m a pretty funny guy, but-” “It was you” Frisk said, their hysterics replaced with a burning desire to just end this damn charade already. They heard the other monsters in the room reacting with confusion, but their voices blended together until they all just sounded like the Amalgamates. Frisk was entirely focused on Sans. For a moment he just looked befuddled, like he didn’t know what they meant, before they saw the comprehension dawn across his face.

“oh jeez, kid. did i…?” Frisk looked at the floor. Clearly, he hadn’t put it together completely yet. They weren’t sure what he was thinking, but it was probably related to what he’d said in the restaurant. They needed to make him understand. Make him stop thinking they were as good and kind as their LV 1 would imply.

“It was in the Hall,” they said haltingly (hall-tingly, perhaps? They thought briefly that Chara might have appreciated that pun, before jerking abruptly back to reality).  Looking around a bit, everyone but Sans seemed utterly baffled by the odd turn the talk had taken. It seemed prudent to explain.

“Toriel, do you remember how you knew I liked butterscotch, even before I told you? And Papyrus, do you remember how you thought we’d met before?” They saw the mentioned parties opening their mouths to answer, but they found themselves afraid that, if they stopped, they’d lose their nerve. Instead, they barreled forward with their explanation.

“Sans could probably explain the science of it better than me, but it was like… every time I felt “determined” I could create this… “SAVE point”, like in a video game” They paused, and took a breath, before continuing. “And when I died, I could go back. I didn’t use it for good,” they looked at their hands and didn’t need to wonder what they’d feel like covered in dust. “I- I didn’t mean to, the first time,”

“the first time?” asked Sans. Frisk didn’t look at him. They didn’t need to. Easy enough to tell what he was thinking about. They supposed that this was their last chance to back out. Their last chance to deflect or lie, preserve the illusion that they deserved any of this. They couldn’t RESET anymore, not without- The others deserved to know. 

“The first time I- I killed someone, I mean. The first time was an accident. The rest... weren’t,” Frisk picked at their hands, a nervous habit Toriel was always admonishing them for. She didn’t say anything about it, this time. No one said anything. The whole room was waiting on their next words, waiting for them to justify what they’d done somehow, give some logical reason for their cruelty. At that thought, Frisk laughed. They laughed for a solid 30 seconds, holding their arms tight to their sides. As they calmed, still grinning, they said;

 “I enjoyed it, you know. I was having the time of my life! How sick is that?” They giggled a bit more, “Toriel, I can’t believe you forgot it! I was so nice to you, through the whole battle, and then at the last second, right as you were about to spare me, that’s when I-!” Their grin is hurting their cheeks, but they just can’t stop! It’s just so funny! They tried to finish the sentence, but they couldn’t get it past their wide smile. It was okay, though. They could see, somewhere in her horrified face, that some part of her remembered what they’d done. They turned their gaze to Papyrus. “You tried to spare me, did you know that? You didn’t even want to fight! I just walked right up and slapped your head off! And then-” they gestured the movements violently, arms jabbing to and fro. At least one person flinched away. Good. “Then you said you still believed in me! That you thought I could do better! Like I was some sort of good person! Like I was redeemable, can you believe?” Their breath hitched, and they couldn’t figure out why. Wasn’t this right? Wasn’t this true? Wasn’t it all just so funny it made them want to choke? They didn’t get it! 

“Haha… And Undyne, right? You remember that kid who kept following me?” They knew she did. They knew she was probably thinking of all of the terrible things they could have done to the kid, but have no fear, for Frisk was here! Here to finally expose what a shit person they were, once and for all. “Yeah, so that confrontation on the bridge went a little bit differently. Instead of them running away and almost falling off of a cliff, they tried to emulate what you would do!” They would grin, but they were already grinning. Pity. “So this idiot kid decides they’re going to try- get this, they decide they’re going to try to stop me!” Frisk stopped for a moment. Their smile dropped. They… weren’t proud, of what they’d done next. “...Bet you can guess how well I responded to that,” they said quietly.

“But Undyne you- you just had to play the hero, huh? You, uh. You didn’t let me hit them, but you didn’t stop me from delivering a hit in general, either,” How do you tell someone you’ve watched them turn to dust and die? Not like this, they were pretty sure. Oh well, too late now. “You took the hit yourself, instead. You should have died, kind of, immediately?” Neither Undyne nor Alphys looked very happy with that pronouncement. Undyne, though, appeared to have noticed something in what they’d said.

“...Should have? The hell does that mean?” Frisk took a deep breath, before looking up and allowing their own confusion to show on their face.

“It was super freaking weird!” They yelled, throwing their hands up in the air. “I have no idea what happened! You started, like, shivering? Like you were about to dust except anime happened instead???” Undyne was starting to look excited.

“Anime happened?” She prompted.

“Yeah! Some fucking- ‘this isn’t even my final form’ level anime bs happened! You had 5 digit health, your eye was shooting spears, it was crazy!” Frisk was getting into the heat of the explanation, now. Which was presumably why Undyne picked that moment to interrupt them.

“Wait. You said your hardest fight was with Sans. How the actual FUCK did he upstage that?!” Frisk smiled ruefully.

“Don’t fuck with Sans,” They said feelingly. “Anyway, after a long, grueling battle with you that ate up most of my healing items,” Papyrus screeched “I was victorious. It was extremely unsatisfying. I mean, all of that, and you just kind of… melted and turned to dust. I- I was almost happy, all the times you killed me, y’know?” Frisk laughed a little, “The killing stopped feeling good after Papyrus, but it started feeling bad after you,” They took a long breath in, and let it out as a sigh. “I mean, I’m a genocidal maniac, not a sadist,” Frisk pointed at Sans. “He might be, though! Not that I can really blame him!

“He was waiting for me in the Hall. He told me that if I took another step forward, I wasn’t going to like the- the consequences. Honestly, at that point, that was kind of a motivator,” Frisk could feel the silence. The way the whole room was hanging on their next words. It was less oppressive than it felt like it should have been.

“He asked me if I wanted to have a bad time. I did. He gave me one,” They said. “Sans is… really strong. I died in the first attack,” They look at their hands, and remember dust.

“When I came back, he said “that’s the expression of someone who’s died twice in a row.” and he… He said he knew. About how, no matter how many times he killed me, I’d just come back. What kind of person do you have to be? To- to know that, and do it anyway? To pit yourself against someone who’s literally impossible to defeat?” The answer is that you have to be a lot better than them. “And he just kept killing me. It took ten tries to beat Undyne. For Sans? It took me forty seven. And even then, I only won because I cheated and attacked twice in one turn! And I don’t even know if he actually died, because he went to fucking Grillby’s!” They laughed. It sounded choked. 

“Then I went to the throne room, and Asgore died in one hit like a fucking bitch. It was so unsatisfying that I went back to fight Sans again. Eventually, I killed him again, and Asgore died like a bitch again, so I went back a third time, Sans called me out for being a sick fuck, and I decided to see what would happen If I spared him that time. Man, it was awesome. He just- fucking,” Frisk loved this memory, it was hilarious. “Murdered me? It was the funniest thing ever. Told me to ‘get dunked on’ whatever that means. Then he said, if we were really friends, I wouldn’t come back,” Frisk looked at Sans, and stood up. “Guess we weren’t, huh? Since I did come back, after that. Came back to the very beginning, right after I fell. Did it right that time,” They went to leave the room, but paused in the doorway.

“Now you know,” they said quietly, and left.

[marvelmovieslistaqzu378-blog]

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[countdowntocake]

50 Personal Questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes! Tagged by @leorysxi Tagging No One! 1. What kind of food can’t you stand?
Anything that's really cheap or really processed (basically most candy and junk food, except for some quality chocolate). Also coconut. Fuck coconut. 2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?
As of right now, having to remember princess lessons in MidCin and IkeSen. If I could just store infinite stamina (or at least like 10 hours) I'd be such a happy camper. 3. Have you got any useless talents? Idk if it counts as a talent but I can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction from left-to-right. 4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Remembering things. 5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking. There are plenty, but off the top of my head Andy Biersack for guys (I don't even listen to BVB but I do listen to his solo album lol) and Zendaya or Sofia Vergara for ladies.
 6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Daydreaming or playing video games (I got my first hand-me-down DS when I was 7). 7. What is something you’re proud of? I'm plenty cocky about a lot of things, but if I had to pick it would be that I was selected out of like 700 kids in my middle school to represent them in a young leadership conference during my first year there.
 8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? Vapidness in general. 
 9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a leader (see number 7)! One of my young childhood memories was when I was at the beach on vacation when I was maybe 6, and I was trying to direct a bunch of other little kids on how to build a proper sandcastle (I'm now currently discovering my interest in the field of architecture, funnily enough).
 10. What kind of student are/were you? Extremely curious, tends to monopolize the teacher, teachers pet, has never dipped below a 3.7 GPA.
 11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? I have absolutely no clue tbh.
 12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion. The inevitability of my own death. 13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Yes, and the first that comes to mind is Edea Lee from the Bravely Default series. She's the daughter of the Grand Marshal (king) of her kingdom, and was raised to follow in her father's footsteps. Though her somewhat biased education had led her to see the world in a very black/white way, her world view is forced to change as she journeys out into the world and joins the other heroes of the story. She wants to make her father and teachers proud, but does not hesitate to disobey them and her state when she sees the consequences of their actions. She's proud, headstrong, and kind (plus she loves food lmao I love Edea and I could talk about her for hours and I'm literally going to name my firstborn daughter after her and no one can stop me). 
 14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I don't really go to parties unless they're small gatherings with friends or family, and the idea of drinking in public terrifies me so idk I'll figure it out eventually.
 15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? It will definitely take awhile. I can get crushes, sure, but if and when I start looking for someone to spend/dedicate my whole life to, I plan to find the right one the first time.
 16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? This is going to sound shallow but 100 casual friends. No matter how perfect we are as friends, only spending time with one person wears thin after awhile.
 17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? Neat-freak, but not extremely so. I just like me some good organization!
 18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy. When I think of cozy, one old southern home in my dad's family comes to mind. In the middle of a town as rural as can be, it's a large, charming white cottage surrounded by massive oak trees. The only sounds that reach it are the occasional train the crosses the edge of the property. Whether I'd be out on the porch swing overlooking the yard, the sunroom in the back with an old couch along an entire wall with a massive window, or even perched in one of the massive oaks on the property, I'd stay there forever and nap.
 19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?
Like I said, I'm totally naming my first daughter Edea. 20. What was your favorite book as a child? When I was in second grade, I used to get in massive trouble for reading the Young Nancy Drew series in math class. I also love the Harry Potter series, and found a book called The School for Good and Evil on the first day of 6th grade and have loved the series since.
 21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Snapchat, Jake Paul, fidget spinners... I could go on.
 22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated. Marina and the Diamonds! I hear everyone talking about Halsey or Lana Del Ray, but no one ever talks about Marina and her awesome music! ;-;
 23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? I have no clue, but someone I could get comfortable with at least (not a guy, I'm way too shy!).
 24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? I'm just going to be generic and say travel the world.
 25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?
If it's something I feel confident in my knowledge/ability to debate about, then I'll never hold back. 26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?
I'm not one for fads usually, so I don't really have an answer. 27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?
Idk, I was a pretty cool kid. I usually knew when something was too dumb for me. 28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?
A quick wit. 29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) I usually make a wish-list, but I've always gotten plenty of video games, and in recent years I've been receiving jewelry as a gift more often (mostly from my mom because we watch JTV together sometimes and she knows my taste lmao)
 30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? I only know English fluently, but I'm learning Spanish in school, slowly but surely.
 31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? The countryside definitely has its draws (see number 18), but I've also lived in a city all my life and the convenience of everything is really nice...
 32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? I never would have thought it as a kid, but I actually love reading nonfiction. You don't have to struggle to find something with a good story that's suited to your tastes, and you get to LEARN stuff.
 33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?
I guess it depends on what type of spotlight. If it's just drama/popularity, then no thanks, but I definitely want appreciation for what I do and what I've a accomplished so far. 34. Favorite holiday? Easter for pastels and nostalgia, Mardi Gras for fun and family, and Christmas for gifts and candy.
 35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? PLANNING. Because STRATEGY. IS. ALWAYS. (srsly tho don't try to get me into a plan that hasn't been thought out yet because I will ask a million questions and start planning everything for you)
 36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Most things wouldn't be the same now since I did them as a child, but honestly if I could replay Breath of the Wild with a blank slate I totally would. I tried to take it slow but still ended up rushing the story ;-;
 37. What hobbies do you have? Still video games and daydreaming :p but now with the lovely additions of fanfiction and YouTube!
 38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? Teleporting? You can't kill a man with it, but it's still pretty useful.
 39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you? (Depending on how you met me) I'm super polite and apparently "talk fancy", or that I swear like a sailor in the most deadpan way.
 40. Something that took you way too long to figure out? I can't remember anything off the top of my head...
 41. Worst injury you’ve had? I've never broken a bone, but once when I was like four I got this HORRIBLE carpet burn on my chin from watching cartoons on my stomach at a friend's house.
 42. Any morbid fascinations?
Not really. 43. Describe your sense of humor. Dry, often dark, and is typically enhanced by timing and delivery (deadpan, usually).
 44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I'm honestly pretty happy where I am. The past sucks in terms of conveniences and sanitation, and where I came from plays a huge part in who I am.
 45. Something you are irredeemably bad at? Probably dancing.
 46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through? When I was younger, my mom would ALWAYS correct me if I forgot to say ma'am or sir, but I'm so glad she stuck with it because now it's ingrained in my brain and helps me to be acknowledged/liked by my teachers and other adults.
 47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) Face tattoo! It doesn't have to be that big, right? Theoretically it could just look like the perfect makeup permanently on my face (and lord knows I'm too lazy for makeup). But realistically, I'm never getting a tattoo. 48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? Realist? I like to operate under "prepare for the worst and hope for the best". I'm confident in my ability to get myself where I want to be, but I know I'll have to work for it. 49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Probably something about my mind or abilities. I love being complimented on my looks of course (the other day when I was getting my hair done for school a stranger told me I have beautiful hair and I'm still happy about it), but whenever someone in MidCin compliments me as a princess I almost always screenshot it.
 50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you? (In real life) I'm not a total stuck-up bitch. Yes I'm confident in myself and yes I came from a relatively well-off background, but I like to think that I'm nicer than I first appear.

[samrudhbaden1994]

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[itsfinancethings]

In a fishing village on the eastern coast of Tsushima, I find myself atop the roof of a small hut, taking note of the smattering of enemies wandering the camp. One by one I pick them off, and slink back into the shadows. By the end of my silent killing spree, the last remaining invader spots me, along with my handiwork, and flees in terror, allowing me to return the village to its original inhabitants.

In Ghost of Tsushima, these tactics are considered cowardly, spineless, and dishonorable. But if that’s the case, why does it feel so right?

Ghost of Tsushima, created by Sony studio Sucker Punch for the PlayStation 4, is an open-world adventure game set in the 13th century, on the Japanese island of Tsushima. You play as Jin Sakai, a samurai part of a larger defending force that suffers an absolutely crushing defeat against the Mongol army attempting to take over Japan. Thanks to a thief who rescues you from certain death, you manage to survive, and commit to rescuing both your new accomplice’s kidnapped brother, along with your own imprisoned uncle. But a single samurai against a battalion of soldiers isn’t exactly a fair match. So what’s a lone wolf going up against an army to do? Fight dirty, of course.

Unfortunately, the Mongols aren’t the biggest problem Jin faces. That would be his own cognitive dissonance.

You see, Jin, an honorable samurai, becomes a man conflicted. It’s in his eyes after you complete the first of many assassinations, a taboo when it comes to the samurai code of honor. Instead of facing the enemy head-on, he sneaks around a Mongol encampment, killing a warrior without looking him in the eye—a no-no according to his uncle, commanding officer, and shogun-appointed steward of Tsushima, Lord Shimura. But it doesn’t stop there. The deception, sabotage, and subterfuge continue throughout his quest to retake his home, and serve to spread the legend of “the Ghost,” a fallen samurai who has risen to exact revenge on the Mongol army.

Devoid of context, Jin’s turn to more dubious tactics is quite understandable. Of course you’d need to sabotage an encampment’s defenses, distract a few archers, and take out lonely sentries before charging in—you’re just one guy with a sword and a dream. Who among us wouldn’t resort to using every trick in the book when your homeland is threatened and your people are enslaved, especially when the tricks are oh-so-satisfying?

Ghost of Tsushima is one of the rare games in which the mechanics are so perfectly suited for the story, making every move feel like one Jin is performing, rather than one you’re puppeteering. All of the plotting, scheming, and sneaking lends itself perfectly to the narrative of a man compromising his own morals for the greater good. Attacking a farm taken over by Mongol soldiers? Multiple avenues to victory await you. Stick to your samurai code and face your enemies in a straight-up standoff, a game of chicken in which you slaughter opponents one-by-one using your katana, bow, and other weapons (like powder bombs and kunai). Or channel the growing legend of the Ghost and slip through windows to stab enemies in the back and slip away unseen. Throw bells to distract one guard while you slit the throat of another. Toss a smoke bomb into the fray to disorient enemies while you assassinate them one at a time in the confusion (or use that bomb to mask your getaway route should you be overwhelmed by opponents). Boss fights occur in the form of duels against opponents with their own set of swordsmanship skills. Only patience, parries, and striking when you see an opening will ensure your victory.

In true adventure game fashion, there are a variety of items to gather, skills to unlock, and armor sets to acquire and improve, turning the samurai with broken dou at the game’s outset into a 13th century hypebeast with a penchant for destruction.

To upgrade your arsenal of weapons, improve your armor, and purchase ammo like arrows and smoke bombs, you’ll need to scour friendly villages and enemy camps for supplies while you sneak (or massacre) your way through Tsushima. While acquiring new duds via specific quests with is always a treat, the slog to afford any improvements is both frustrating and distracting, and made me wish I could just unlock new upgrades the same way I unlocked new samurai techniques: by completing missions for the residents of Tsushima and ridding the island of invaders, rather than look around every nook and cranny in town for linen bundles and kunai left in some fisherman’s attic. Like, I know why he has them, but I’m unsure if stealing his tools after saving him from a beheading is the best way to go about arming myself for battle.

While the liberation of towns and forts is rewarding, it does get repetitive. Luckily, the game balances all the adrenaline-fueled action with loads of low-stakes activities. You can practice your swordsmanship on bamboo striking posts throughout the island, follow foxes to hidden shrines and pay your respects, soak in hot springs, and even compose somewhat customizable haiku, all of which prepare you for the encounters ahead in one way or another.

You can mark spots on your map to explore and use the environmental directional cues (in the form of gusts of wind that bring the landscape to life) to get where you need to go. Still, the option to fast travel is available, and I suggest you use it if you don’t feel like cutting open half a dozen throats every five minutes as you visit familiar places. But you might want to take your time exploring the island, because you’ll be awestruck by its majesty.

Indeed, Tsushima’s beauty is absolutely astonishing. The island, verdant and lush with foliage, is teeming with colors. Bamboo thickets with thick, green trunks blot out the sun. Forests of Palmate maple trees cover the island, their leaves seeming to fall forever, creating a feeling of perpetual autumn. On horseback, Jin runs his hands through what feel like endless fields of white pampas grass (that double as camouflage from enemies). In an era where many games have adopted a color palette more appropriate for a ditch on the side of a highway, scaling mountains to offer prayers at shrines often gifts you a gorgeous panoramic view of the surrounding areas, lush forests and burning farms included.

Even in its duels against Mongol generals, guardians of ancient treasures, or greedy ronin looking for the same mythical talismans as you, the art direction is impeccable. Ghost of Tsushima’s visuals are strongly influenced by the work of Japanese director Akira Kurosawa, and it shows (there’s even an Instagram-like “Kurosawa mode” filter that transforms the world’s vibrancy into a grainy, black and white homage to the filmmaker — it’s a gimmick, but a fun one). It even offers a Japanese voice track, though the character models still move their mouths as though they were speaking English, a real disappointing misstep.

From start to finish, its story is engrossing, if a bit predictable. But Ghost of Tsushima’s denouement still brought tears to my eyes, a first when it comes to video games, and real surprise to me. I didn’t realize I was literally on the edge of my seat, watching Jin come to terms with the consequences of his actions until the credits rolled, leaving me with a wet beard and desire to finish what Jin Sakai started.