#there's also the fact that last time i saw my grandpa he smiled at me and held my hand so tight

[cosmojjong]

my grandpa ended up passing away only 11 days after i saw him and what hurts most right now is trying to deal with such a sudden loss and the fact that i can't go to his funeral. i don't know what to do with myself

[spooky-bunnys]

I have this idea for a request

The reader is secretly sneaking out of the house to go on a date with taiju and the reasoning for sneaking out is quite obvious mikey and Shinichiro don’t like taiju and our quite protective of the reader after his last relationship was bad and from what happened between taiju and his siblings. But the reader loves taiju and their relationship is beautiful pure innocent love. The reader and taiju head to a nice restaurant and after that they head to a beautiful flower garden where they plan on having their first kiss but they get interrupted by what appears to be motorcycle noises and it’s of mikey, Shinichiro and the rest of toman (the reader would be like a mom/father figure to the toman members and toman doesn’t want to see the reader get hurt) and Mikey saying stuff like “get your Christian hands off my brother” and Shinichiro is saying “our brother is too good for in fact he’s too good for anyone” and they can attack taiju and drag the reader back to the house they are being held back by grandpa sano, izana sano and Emma sano and they tell everyone to go back and let their brother and taiju have their romantic moment and kiss but not before Shinichiro spewing threats saying how he isn’t afraid to go to jail if taiju so much as leaves a micro scar on their brother

And the reader would probably get grounded for sneaking out after the date and kiss

Listen. I know Taiju is made out to be a bad guy. But Taiju is one of my favorite characters in Tokyo Revengers. He's also extremely attractive in my opinion. Also I changed it up a bit. Hope that was okay. Enjoy!

First Kiss

Taiju x Male Reader

(Name) smiled brightly at his phone. Quickly replying and giggles quietly. Emma smiles watching her brother be so happy especially after what he stupid ex did to him. Therapy could only do so much. But now he luckily had a very loving family. Unfortunately two of the three brothers are too loving now a days. Speak of them and they shall appear.

"(Name)! Who ya texting?" "Yeah who? Is it anyone we know?" Mikey and Shinichiro tried reading over (Name)'s shoulders until their grandfather slammed the paper onto the table getting everyone's attention. "Shinichiro. Manjiro. What have I said about reading something that doesn't involve you?" The two flinched as Izana laughed at them. "Yeah~"

They glared at Izana who shrugged them off. "So Aniki have you had time you check my bike?" Shinichiro confused stared at him. "What?" Izana looked at Shinichiro in disbelief. "I asked you to check my bike out like a week ago because I can't get my breaks to work. I almost crashed remember?" Shinichiro froze trying when he asked. He shook his head coming up with nothing.

Izana glared at Shinichiro before marching off and Shinichiro quickly went behind him. Probably to figure out what exactly was going on with their brothers bike. Emma took a quick Glace at Mikey. "Hey Mikey?" Mikey turned to Emma with a hum. "Aren't you late for a meeting?" Mikey confused looked down at his phone. "No we don't have a meeting until tonight."

Emma pulled her phone out showing him the messages between her and Hina. "Really? Cause Hina told me that Takemichi told her that Chifyuu told that Draken told him you guys were having an early meeting due to our date tonight." Mikey froze staring at Emma. "You do remember scheduling the meeting early for our triple date right? Me and Draken, Takemichi and Hina, and Senju and you?" (JUST A WARNING I DO NOT SHIP THESE CHARACTERS)

Mikey paled. Did he seriously forget that? Mikey quickly ran out of the house. Emma followed throwing a wink towards (Name) who smiled. (Name) took a peak at his grandfather who gave a short nod. (Name) grinned and quickly grabbed a jacket before kissing his grandfather's cheek and raced off to the restaurant where he boyfriend of almost 4 months was waiting.

When (Name) saw the restaurant he was surprised at how nice it was. He suddenly felt very under dressed. As he made his way to the entrance he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder making him jump. He quickly looked over his shoulder seeing his boyfriend smiling softly at him. (Name) smiles and kisses his cheek giggling. "Taiju!"

Taiju wrapped his arms around (Name) pulling him close and sighs happily. "So how'd you get out this time?" (Name) excitedly started talking about how Emma is distracting Mikey and Izana is doing the same to Shinichiro. Taiju led (Name) through the restaurant until they arrived in the private room he booked. "Then grandpa gave me signal and I came straight here!"

When (Name) finished he realized they were already settled in a back room. "Oh..." He blushed embarrassingly. "I guess I was so busy talking I didn't notice we arrived to the room..." Taiju let out a laugh pulling out (Name)'s chair then pushing it in. Then joining on the other side. "Well I'm glad you made it on time. Our reservation wasn't missed this time." He sent a playful look towards (Name).

(Name) blushed more covering his face. "I said sorry!" They had to cancel their last dinner date due to (Name) not being able to sneak away from his brothers on time. (Name) suddenly sighed sadly and slowly grabbed Taiju's hand. "Tai?" Taiju let out a soft hum telling (Name) he was listening while he gripped (Name)'s hand gently. (Name) nervously played with Taiju's fingers.

"Aniki and Mikey are getting suspicious..." Taiju frowned. (Name) held Taiju's hand tighter looked sad and scared. "I think we should tell them soon. I mean I already told our grandfather, Emma, and well Izana was accidentally told....but he's keeping it a secret for now. But I think we should tell the others soon." Taiju sighed looking away.

He hadn't told either of his siblings. He knows how they'll react to their oldest brother dating "The Angel Sano". While his brothers all had dangerous nicknames in th delinquent world (Name)'s wasn't so much dangerous. It's more cute now that Taiju thought about it. It definitely suit him. Though (Name) has become more then am Angel to him. (Name) had become his god.

Taiju kissed they're combined hands. "Alright Angel. If that's what you think is best. We'll let them know. But right now let's focus on our date. I was thinking after this we could go to the flower garden. The one with all the Cherry Blossoms." (Name) nodded excitedly. Throughout dinner Taiju got (Name) to forget his worries. Only relaxing and laughing.

After finishing the desert which (Name) will absolutely have to find the recipe for. Taiju tangled his fingers with (Name) pulling him towards (Name)'s favorite spot. The flower garden where they first met. Cherry Blossoms surrounded them and (Name) stared at the view of the blossoms in awe. While Taiju stared at him. The look of awe on his face made Taiju's expression soften.

It was all thanks to (Name) that he changed so much. He used to be so violent and angry. But now? Taiju cleared his throat gaining (Name)'s attention who smiled brightly at Taiju. The duo were so immersed in themselves that they didn't notice another person there. A look of shock and horror covered they're face.

At the shrine Mikey was waiting for everyone to show up. Chatting with Draken about what different gangs have been up to. If any of them are a threat to toman and what not. "Oi ken-chin. (Name) has been suspicious recently." Emma who was beside them slightly froze lisstening in to the conversation. "Hah? What do you mean?"

Mikey goes on to explain how (Name) has been more smiling and happy. Then he mentions how he's always on his phone then disappearing. Draken shrugs. "Maybe he's got a new boyfriend." The look of confusion on Mikey's face slowly turned to a look of disbelief. "(NAME) HAS A BOYFRIEND?!" His yelling had caught everyone's attention. "Wait what! Are you serious?!" Everyone turned to Hakki.

Whose face was extremely pale. "Please tell me your kidding." Confused Mitsuya quickly asked Hakki what was going on. "Wait Yaz let me put you on speaker." Hakki quickly put his sister on speaker Everyone quiet. Trying to Hear what was being said. Her voice filled the shrine. Clear panic in her voice. "Taiju is here at the Cherry Blossom garden with (Name)!" The air turned cold as everyone froze.

She continued. "They look like their on a date!" Mikey quickly ran towards Hakki snatching the phone. "Yazuha can you repeat that?" His voice cold and serious. "Okay so I came to the Cherry Blossom garden with some friends. Well, I was looking for the bathroom when I heard (Name)'s voice. Which confused me because when I asked him to come with us he said he was busy. But I saw him holding hands and laughing with Taiju!"

(Name) is on a date with Taiju? Mikey gripped the phone tighter. "Are you sure it's them?" "Yeah! Wait hang on something is happening." Everyone was quiet and on edge. "Wait are they about to kiss?" That's all Mikey needed before he closed the phone throwing back towards Hakki making his way to his bike.

When he got oh his bike and flipped open his phone. He quickly found Shinichiro's number. It was silent before the voice of the oldest Sano filled the now cold and quiet air. "Mikey what do you need? I'm busy fixing Izana's bike right now so it better be important." "(Name) is out on a date with Taiju." "Wait Shiba Taiju? The guys Inupi was talking about the other day! Oh hell no!"

Mikey put away his phone. Looking up meeting the eyes of Toman. "Toman let's go resuce (Name)!" Toman yelled taking off towards their bikes when Mikey met his sisters eyes. He noticed the panic look on here face. He thought she was worried about (Name). "Don't worry Emma. I'm gonna get (Name) and come straight home. Ken-chin take her home and tell the old man what's going on."

While Toman was headed towards the Cherry Blossom garden, Shinichiro was on the phone with Takeomi explaining what Mikey told him. Takeomi explained everything he knew about the oldest Shiba. "Shin I'm telling you this guy is not a good one. He doesn't need to be around someone like (Name) especially. Who knows what kind of harm he'll do to him." Shinichiro paled. (Name) already has enough trauma from his last relationship. He doesn't need more.

Shinichiro told Takeomi to get to his house while he was gonna wait for Mikey to bring (Name) home. When Draken dropped Emma home she immediately made her way to her grandfather telling him what happened. When Izana walked in she too told him what happened. "I thought we were being careful enough!" Emma cried.

She was nervous of how her older brothers were gonna react. She just hopes it won't start a war or anything like that. Besides she knows how much (Name) means to Taiju. It wasn't that long when they eard Mikey's bike and arguing? The Sano's made there way outside where a teary eyed (Name) was and an angry Mikey. "(Name) you don't understand how dangerous he is!"

(Name) just shook his head and stomped into the house. Pushing passed a frantic Shinichiro and a worried Emma. When Izana saw the broken look on his face he snapped. "Mikey what the fuck did you do?!" Mikey looked up in disbelief. "What do you mean? (Name) was out and about with Taiju! Remember what happened at Christmas?!"

Emma frowned glaring hatefully at herbrother. "That doesn't explain why (Name) looked so upset! Manjiro what did you do?" Emma never calls him by his actual name. Mikey looked her in the eyes and glared back. "I saved our brother from making a mistake! Toman is taking care of him right now." Shinichiro nodded proudly. "Good job Jiro." He patted Mikey on the head.

What they weren't expecting was the glares the two got when they looked at their family. "What?" They both asked. That's when they were yelled at. Hell even Izana was yelling at his brothers. They stopped when Takeomi came in breaking the yelling. "Hey Shin 'm here. Also Taiju is outside and (Name) is climbing out his window." Everyone quickly made there way outside where a beat up Taiju was hugging a sobbing (Name).

Mikey and Shinichiro immediately started yelling at he taller male. "Oi! Get your Christian hands off (Name)!" "Yeah! My baby brother is too good for you. In fact nobody is good enough for him!" When they went to stomp over to them. They were grabbed by the back of their shirts. Their grandfather glaring at them. With Emma and Izana standing in front of them.

"What are you guys doing?! We need to save (Name)!" The duo were slapped on the back of their heads. Hard. The trio then began to explain how Taiju had proved that he truly loved an cared for (Name). How Taiju had saved (Name) from not only rival gangs that wanted to hurt the Sano delinquents. But also how he saved (Name) from is ex a few months ago.

"Don't you two see? (Name) changed Taiju to his best self. Taiju loves (Name) for that. And I'm extremely disappointed in you two for breaking up such an important date! You two should be ashamed for how you reacted." The two Sano boys were being lectured by the other three Sano members. "Now. You are going to let them finish their date AND FINALLY HAVE THEIR FIRST KISS!"

Shinichiro jumped to his feet. "Listen here Christian boy! If I see any injuries on him I swear to any and EVERY God I'll kill you. I don't care about going to jail for it!" Takeomi started dragging him away into the house. Izana and Emma doing the same to Mikey. The oldest Sano turned to the two and smiled. "I deeply apologize for that. (Name) why don't you stay with Taiju tonight. Just don't have too much fun."

(Name) blushed and hid his face in Taiju's chest. Which was rumbling in laughter. "I'm sorry about my brother's. Are you hurt anywhere?" (Name) started frantically searching Taiju. He was stopped when Taiju pulled him close and gently held his face. Staring in his eyes. They slowly started leaning in. "HEY! ABSOLUTELY NOT! ACK-." They turned seeing Shinichiro on the ground with Izana ontop of him.

"Sorry about him continue please." They watched as Izana quite literally dragged Shinichiro into the house. (Name) nervously looked at Taiju. "C-Can we try that again?" They started leaning forward again. This time their lips met with no interruptions. It was like fireworks were let off inside them. It was magical and gull of nothing but pure and undoubtedly love.

They both pulled away, slightly panting and Taiju rested his head on (Name)'s shoulder. (Name) giggled and played with his hair. "I love you Tai." "I love you Angel."

[lutiaslayton]

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva

ＰＡＲＴ　１４

〚ＦＩＲＳＴ〛〚ＰＲＥＶ〛〚ＮＥＸＴ〛

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation for the Japan-exclusive novellisation of the movie Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. The original novel was written by Aya Matsui under the supervision of Akihiro Hino, and belongs to Level-5.

This translation only aims to be a pleasant read for non-Japanese fans, nothing more: I made a few deliberate changes while translating in order to get the writing style closer to what is usually found in English fanfictions, as the Japanese storytelling can sometimes be different than what we are used to.

＊ The Detragan

We ran through the black castle. The professor and Janice were leading the way without hesitation, and even though the castle was full of rooms and corridors, they seemed to know exactly where to go.

Eventually, a door came into view.

“There!”

The professor immediately opened it and dashed inside. Of course, we all jumped in after him.

There, we found Descole, his henchmen, and for some reason…

…Mr Whistler. What was he doing here?

He was trying to force a strange mechanical device over Amelia’s head.

“W-wait! I wanted to give eternal life to my grandpa! The doctors say he only has one month left to life… Isn’t eternal life a secret potion or something? We have to bring it to my grandpa…!”

“That is not acceptable.”

“Stop!”

Amelia was struggling in desperation.

The professor yelled: “This has to stop!”

By the time Mr Whistler looked at us in surprise, Emmy had already started attacking Descole’s henchmen. When Mr Whistler saw her next victim flying towards him, he screamed and cowered to the side.

Meanwhile, I ran up to Amelia, as she removed the device from her head.

“Mr Whistler, your intention was never to give ‘eternal life’ to the winner. What you are trying to do is tantamount to taking life, rather than giving eternal life!”

“What makes you think that?” Mr Whistler replied calmly.

“I finally reached it… the terrible truth behind this game.”

Yes! So he solved the mystery?

“What do you mean, Professor!?” I couldn’t help but shout.

The professor gazed at Mr Whistler and continued:

“A year ago, you spent a large amount of money in order to build a large-scale music performance device, the Detragan, despite… no, because of the fact that Melina’s death was approaching. And in order to achieve it, you obtained help… from the scientist there named Descole.”

At that last word, he sent a cold glare towards the man in question. To his strict eyes, Descole grinned with… a sullen smile.

“The Detragan is more than just an instrument. It is also a terrifying machine, capable of temporarily recording memories and copying them into other people’s brains.”

“What!?”

I turned my eyes to the Detragan in shock. So did Inspector Grosky, who muttered in shock:

“Copying… memories…?”

The professor continued, undisturbed.

“However, the Detragan’s copying process was imperfect. Even if the copy itself is successful, the original memories will gradually erode the copied ones over time… Nina told me about it.”

Right after this last sentence, the professor crouched down in front of her and smiled.

“Could you tell me again who you were with earlier?”

Nina nodded cheerfully. “It was Miss Melina!”

She… was with Melina!? What could that mean?

The professor started speaking again. He told us what had happened to Nina just a few minutes ago…

After getting Puzzle n°004 wrong on purpose, the professor had investigated the castle and eventually found the room in which Melina used to live.

It was a room with a balcony, giving a great view over the sea. There was a piano there, and a handwritten music sheet sitting on a music stand. The title read: ‘Song of the Sea.’

I gasped.

“The sea taught me.”

I remembered a song that I had heard on the beach.

Then Nina… no, a girl who was called ‘Melina’ at the time, appeared.

“I came here to see you, Melina.”

The girl had gotten angry at the professor for saying that.

“You… Stay out of my way!”

It was the melody of the ‘Song of the Sea,’ which the professor had started playing on the piano, that stopped her from running away. As she regained her composure, he had said:

“How long have you lived here?”

“I was… sick. My dad brought me to this island because he said the weather here was good for me. That’s why I feel so much better now…”

“Better…? I was told that you did not just get ‘better,’ but that you have been reborn with eternal life…?”

“Right… Reborn… I… was sick and died…!”

The girl’s face had contorted in pain as she held her head.

“I’m not dead, I’m fine! I was brought in… no, don’t say it! He’ll notice… Shh.”

The professor said that in this moment, it was as if two people were speaking. A young seven-year-old girl, and an adult woman who was present with her, and called herself Melina…

“Melina?”

“I’m not Melina! Yes, I am! No—I want to go home! Stop!”

“You are…”

The professor said that when he witnessed this girl in distress, the mystery had been solved in the blink of an eye.

The mystery of just what kind of horrific experiments the Detragan carried out.

The professor glared at Mr Whistler.

“After repeated failures, you desperately searched for a brain that could accept Melina’s memories perfectly. This is why you sent invitations to young, talented women like Miss Amelia…”

He then shifted his gaze to Descole.

“This game, and the intent of fooling everyone into believing that they were going to gain eternal life, was likely Descole’s idea. After all, Mr Whistler… You would have wanted instead to copy Melina’s memories as soon as possible.”

Descole smiled wryly.

“As expected of you, Layton. How long have you been aware of my presence?”

“I had a hunch early on, but it wasn’t until I saw this ghastly black castle that I became convinced. I knew right away who was pulling the strings behind the scenes, Descole.”

Descole responded to his accusations with a maniacal laughter that horrified me to the core.

At that moment, Mr Whistler pounced on me—!

“If that’s how it is, I don’t care anymore who it has to be!”

Before I had time to resist, the Detragan’s device was placed over my head. Mr Whistler had madness in his eyes, and was muttering to himself.

“I have to preserve Melina’s memories…”

Seriously!?

“No, s-stop…!”

I shouted as loud as I could, but he would not listen.

“I’m running out of time!”

A lever on the Detragan was pulled down.

I couldn’t take it anymore…! I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find any words. Mr Whistler’s smile in front of me was too frightening.

…How many seconds had passed by now?

His smile disappeared and was replaced with a whimper.

“W… What!?”

I breathed and looked around. The lights on the Detragan were all switched off.

I had no idea what happened, but I was saved.

Mr Whistler rushed to the Detragan.

“The key…!”

After muttering this single word, he rushed to look for it everywhere, in a half-crazed state.

“Who took it? Who!? Layton, is that you!? Huh!?”

As he could not find any key, he grabbed the professor.

“We have to be quick… There is a time limit to the Detragan’s memory maintenance!”

The professor remained completely still. “Calm down, Mr Whistler. I know who sabotaged this device.”

Mr Whistler stopped moving. The one who ‘sabotaged this device,’ he said? I didn’t know who that was, but I thanked the culprit in my heart. I didn’t have to become the subject of a horrific experiment thanks to them.

“This person is also the key to explaining all the inexplicable events in this case,” the professor continued. “Events that go beyond any of your expectations…”

This was the moment I had been waiting for…! The professor would use this tone when he had solved all the mysteries and was about to denounce the culprit.

“Who? Who is it!?” Mr Whistler asked in confusion.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? It was someone who concealed their identity, and wanted to stop your mistakes more than anyone else…”

I was shocked. “More than anyone else…?”

What did he mean by that?

“And this person… is you!”

And the culprit that the professor pointed to was…

…Janice!? No, impossible…

The professor’s voice changed to a much gentler tone.

“It is time to reveal everything, don’t you think Janice? Or rather… I should say Melina.”

He said this was Melina!?

Janice… No, Melina—she let out a small exhale. She then looked straight at Mr Whistler.

“That’s right. I am Melina.”

Mr Whistler staggered in shock.

“When I first realised that I was in my best friend’s body, I was shocked… but incredibly, Janice had allowed me to be there.”

So that was it! I was astonished at the mystery, and at how the professor had been able to solve it. So the Detragan experiment had been a success!

The experiment had even involved Janice, and Mr Whistler had tried to copy Melina’s memories into her mind… He apparently was unaware that he had succeeded.

“Janice stepped back into the back of her own consciousness, and let her body be at my disposal. I had been sick for such a long time, so it gave me so much joy to be able to move around freely in this body…”

　⇚　　　　　　　⇛

[mattitties]

Hi love i just lost my grandma also this morning and I don't know what to do I feel like I'm empty from being sad and my stomach hurts and I feel like .. I don't know I just, I feel bad because my sister loved her so much and she's gonna find out. My mum was gonna see her today and now she can't.. I had a gut feeling since they put her in a home yesterday but I didn't tell anyone and now she's passed on, the last memory I have of her is seeing her around a month ago because we knew she was gonna go so I wanted to see her. And she was all happy and smiling she even remembered me :') I have some garden pictures I took of her flowers

I'm just glad my last memory of her was her being happy and that I know she went away peacefully and wasn't in pain anymore..it hurts a bunch but at the same time I'm just relieved she's gone and doesn't have to suffer.

You don't have to reply to this at all I just really needed to get that off my chest 🤍

hi baby. thanks for sharing this, i loved reading it. it’s coming up on a year since i lost my grandpa which is absolutely fucking insane. it feels like it happened last week. i had a gut feeling the day it happened too, and my life has seriously never been the same since. the couple weeks after he passed were incredibly difficult but the best thing i did was just try to get on with my normal life the best i could. there’s not a day that goes by where i don’t miss him and i have serious regrets about the fact that i didn’t see him for 4 months before he died and everyone else in my family saw him within the month prior. him and i had such a special relationship that i’ll never have with anyone else and he was just one of my favorite people ever.

the empty feeling will go away once you start getting back to your life. you’ll always miss her and the grief will never stop, it’ll just get easier to deal with every day. you just have to try to remember that she loved you and lived a full life and you will carry her with you everywhere you go. it’s going to be really tough getting through these next few weeks but it will get easier i promise.

if you need anything or just someone to talk to please dm me! i hope you’re doing okay ❤️

[gilanslove]

Hi love! I loved what you did with the request about Wilyss their first kid! Could I put in two other requests? 1. When Alyss is pregnant with their second child, a new tradition enrolls: every time the Treaty's have a baby on the way, the kid(s) spend the night at Grandpa Halt and Grandma Pauline's place. Grandpa Halt! and akward kiddo questions pop up. Bonus: Pauline pestering her husband with the fact that he absolutely loves to be a grandfather. 2. While on the battlefield, Will gets mortally wounded while saving Madelyn. As he lays heavily wounded in the infirmary tent, Maddie is hysterical and out of her mind, but Halt hears Will whisper a name. "Alyss"... Will he live or not? Will Alyss welcome him in the afterlife or kick his ass back to the living? Surprise me ;)

Here is the second request! I'm gonna be honest, I rewrote this fic 4 times before finding a version that worked. It's not my favorite thing I wrote, but hopefully, you like it!

Fragile Bonds:

Word count: 2.3K

Cassandra sighed, rubbing a hand over her eyes. She had spent hours bent over the recreation map, ordering troop movement, attacks and counter attack,  reading the casualty reports that came in every few minutes. Her advisors did their best to take the stress off their Queens shoulders but the one thing that would relieve her stress was one thing no one could give her. She felt eyes on her and knew without looking up who had entered the tent. 

“ Gentlemen and Ladies, “ Cassandra instructed, “ Please give me a moment with Ranger Halt.” A murmur rippled through the advisors gathered in Cassandra’s command tent, none having seen Halt enter. They all bowed to their Queen, vacating the tent with limited comment. Alone with the retired ranger, Cassandra dropped into the nearest chair. 

“ Evelyn?” Halt questioned, using the name he had met her under, all those years ago in a country across the sea. She raised her eyes to his dark ones, anguish visible. 

“ I’m here, trying to make the best decision for my people, in the middle of battle and I don’t know where my husband and daughter are, if they’ve been injured or killed. I can barely bring myself to read the casualty  reports for fear I’ll find their names, but every other man who gives his life for me deserves the recognition. Who am I to place my husband and daughter above any other man who has paid for his loyalty with his life?” Halt smiled softly, understanding his Queen’s anguish. It was only after he had been told no vehemently by his five closest friends that Halt had agreed to stay off the battlefield. Cassandras had almost ordered him to stay close to her. Halt understood the fear of knowing that your family was facing danger and having to stay in safety and the feelings of guilt that brings up. 

“ I know how you feel. But I also know your child and husband. Horace has faced countless battles, and seen more war than even I have. He has possibly the most battle experience of anyone I’ve met, and he is fiercely protective of Madelyn. Maddie is an accomplished ranger, able to handle her own and she’s with Will. He would give his own life before allowing anything to happen to Maddie. They're both as safe as they possibly could be on a battlefield. “ Halt reassured Cassandra. She smiled softly, accepting the reassurance. Silence lapsed over the tent, Cassandra poring over the last report from the battle, Halt watching her, coffee in hand( Cassandra didn't even know where it had come from; he didn’t have it when he entered the tent) Halt watched his Queen carefully, seeing both the girl he met in Skandia, the women he saw on her wedding day and the queen ruling her country both firm and just. The queen he would have followed into battle if his age and body allowed him. Cassandra glanced up, feeling Halt’s eyes on her once again. 

“ Penny for your thoughts?” She questioned, pushing a blonde- though graying- strand of hair behind her ear. Halt shook his head, sending one of uncommon smiles Cassandra’s way. He  opened his mouth to respond to his queen, when the tent flap was lifted, and a young man, son to one of the soldiers supplied by the closest fief, burst in. He was panting, clearly having run for a while. Cassandra was on her feet in a flash, composing her face into the mask that her people, no matter their status, expected of her. Halt crossed to stand behind her, at her elbow. 

“ What is it, boy? “ Cassandra asked, trepidation woven into her voice. The young man bowed quickly, before speaking. 

“ My apologies, Your Majesty. But you need to see this. Princess- sorry, Ranger Maddie just returned, nearly running her poor horse into the ground to do so. “ Halt smiled inwardly, knowing that Maddie would never do anything to risk injury to Bumper. 

“ Show me” Cassandra commanded, following the man out of the command tent, Halt by Cassandra’s side. The trio hurried through the confusion of a camp at war, soldiers yelling and rushing through the camp. Ducking under a rope holding up a tent, Halt and Cassandra turned the corner and stopped dead in their tracks, taking in the scene in front of them. Bumper stood, sides heaving, head dropped low to the ground. Maddie was kneeling on the ground beside Bumper,  beside a man dressed in ranger garb, laying pale and still, arrow embedded in his shoulder. 

“Will!” Halt rushed forward, dropping to his knees beside his former apprentice. Maddie lifted her head, eyes red rimmed,  to face Halt. Halt was aware of Cassandra backing everyone away from Will, calling for the healers. 

“ I couldn’t stop it.” Maddie whispered, guilt etched deep into her face. Halt took in the lack of colour in Will’s face, and the linens wrapped and twisted around the arrow, to keep it stabalized during the frantic ride back to camp. Halt reached out gently and brushed the hair out of Will’s face, before standing and gently pulling Maddie to her feet and steering her towards her mother, keeping her out of the way of the healers.  

“ Maddie” Halt started, trying to make his voice gentle for the apprentice ranger. “ You did nothing wrong. You bound his wound, and you got him here safely. You did nothing wrong.” Maddie nodded mutely, watching the healers lift Will, carrying him to their tent. Cassandra crossed to her daughter, tucking the blond hair that escaped Maddie’s tight braid. 

“Come with me” Cassandra urged, draping a arm around the younger women’s shoulder. Maddie nodded, unable to hide the tears that streamed down her face. Halt watched the two of them walk back to Casssandra’s tent, Cassandra pulling her daughter close to her. Halt knew Maddie was in the best hands possible and that he needed to be with Will. Spinning on his heel, he rushed after the healers. 

Hqalt ducked as he entered the tent, low to the ground. He wrinkled his nose as the stench of blood and death reached him. He saw Will, on a cot toward the back of the tent, four healers working to get the arrow out of his shoulder. Two held him down, while one stabalized the end while the final healer prepared to snap the arrow. Halt hurried to the head of the cot. 

“ Allow me” He said to the healer holding Will down. The young man nodded, stepping back to let Halt step into his place. 

“Ready?” the healer holding the arrow shaft asked, glancing at his companions. Halt nodded, placing his hands on Will’s shoulder, knowing how much pain his former apprentice would be in once they started moving the arrow. With a grunt, the man snapped the arrow in half, Will screamed and then it was a mess of blood, of screams, of sweat and swears. Will thrashed against Halt’s steady hands, pain breaking through the cover of unconsciousness. Every movement caused Will to fight against the hands that steadied him, unaware of the comfort they attempted to bring him. At long last, the arrow was pulled free, and Will collapsed against the cot. He murmured something, brow furrowed. Halt knelt next to the cot, bending over to hear better. 

“ What was that, Will?” He asked softly. Will tossed his head again, muttering it again. And this time Halt heard it and it broke his heart. 

“ Alyss” 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

“ Hello love” Will opened his eyes, glancing around his surroundings. 

Halt’s cabin surrounded him, smelling like it always did. Of fire and coffee and home. The fire was crackling, burning cheerifully away in the hearth, like Will had just stepped outside to do chores. The table looked the same as always, papers piled high that Will never found time to deal with. And there, sitting at the table, two cups of coffee in front of her, was his wife. Will felt his heart constrict. 

“Alyss?” He whispered, eyes riveted on her, terrified she’d disappear just like every other time he’s dreamt of her. She smiled at him, brilliant and there and Will rushed to her gathering her into his arms. At length, Alyss backed out of Will’s embrace, leading him ny the hand to the table. 

“ I don’t understand” Will said, looking at Alyss. “ Your dead. You died. You died, Alyss,  and you left me alone. How can you be here, and why is it Halt’s cabin, when I know I was on the battlefield a few minutes ago?” Alyss looked at him, unreadable expression in her eyes. 

“ I know, Will. I know, I’m sorry I left you alone. Believe me, that was never my intention. But I wouldn’t change my decision if I  could. “ 

“ I know. You always were very sure of yourself. “ Will whispered. Alyss smiled fondly at her husband, resting her chin in her hand. She gestured to the cabin surrounding them. 

“ It’s funny, “ She mused, “ How you still refer to this place as Halt’s cabin when it’s been yours since Halt got married.” Will chuckled softly, warming to the conversation, both hands wrapped around Alyss’. 

“ Old habits die hard.” Will grinned, a hint of the boyish charm that drew Alyss to him all those years ago visible. His smile faded as he glanced around them. 

“ Lyss? “ He questioned. His wife hummed softly, meeting his gaze. 

“ Did I die? “ 

“ Not yet. “  Alyss’ face was somber. “ You're just.. In between right now. “

“ Will I die?” Will questioned, thoughts torn between the family he’d leave behind. And the woman sitting in front of him. 

“ No.” Alyss smiled at him then. “ Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

“ Do you?” Will questioned, cocking his head to one side. 

“ I’m your wife- of course I have a say.” She retorted. Will had to smile at that. 

“Then, Alyss, why am I here? If I’m not dead and won’t die, and you are dead, why am I here?” Alyss sighed then, squeezing Will’s hands. 

“ Because I wanted to see you.” She said simply. “ We didn’t get enough time together, and our time we did have was cut short. I miss you. I miss feeling your heartbeat under my cheek, knowing you were beside me and nothing could possibly hurt me while you were around. I miss the jokes you always told me when I had a stressful day, anything you thought would make me laugh again. I miss your arms around me as we danced around the kitchen, even with no music and you stepping on my feet every two minutes. I miss weh nI came home and your face lit up. I miss our life together. “  Will stood, tears in his eyes, drawing Alyss to the bed they had shared. He tugged her gently to his chest, resting his head on top of hers, legs slotting together. 

“ Let me stay.” He murmured into Alyss’ hair. The graceful courier sighed, hand coming up to rest on Will’s cheek. 

“ No love. You have so much left to do, and there’s still people who need you. “ 

“ I need you” Will argued. Alyss giggled, a familiar sound. 

“ And I’ll always be beside you. Every sunrise that makes you catch your breath, every time Maddie makes you smile, every bird who seems to sing a song just for you, they're all me. You will never ever be alone again, Will Treaty. And when your time finally comes, I’ll be right here, waiting for you. For the moment we no longer have to steal moments, we can have each other for eternity. “ Will sighed, tightening his arms around his wife. “ When I wake up, you’ll be gone, won’t you?” He questioned softly. Alyss nodded into his chest, brushing her lips against a new scar on his shoulder. 

“ You won’t see me anymore, no. But I’ll never be truly gone. I love you. I’ll always be a part of you. “ 

“ I love you.” Will whispered the words that he’d swallowed time and time again, now spoken freely. Alyss gazed at her husband, adoration in her eyes. 

“ I know.” She kissed him, gentle and pure, before drawing his head down to her chest. Alyss started humming, softly, and Will felt his eyes slip closed, the song echoing in his head. 

—----------------------------------

“ Will?” Halt questioned softly. He’d sat by Will’s cot for hours, refusing to leave the man who meant so much to him. Will had been unconscious since the arrow was removed, save for the one time he muttered Alyss’ name. Maddie had been taken back to Cassandra’s tent, needing her mothers comfort.  Silence had hovered over the rangers, held at bay only by the sounds of everyone else in the medical tent. Halt thought he had seen a flicker cross Will’s face, and leaned forward. “ Will?” He questioned again. The younger ranger sighed, brow furrowing before relaxing, allowing his eyes to open slowly. 

“ Halt? “ Will murmured, rubbing at his eyes with his uninjured hand. 

“ Will, thank the gods.” Halt exclaimed, hands flying to reach out to  the younger man. Will smiled at Halt. 

“ I’m okay, Halt, " he said, pushing himself up using his good arm. Will’s smile disappeared and he looked pensive. 

“ I saw her Halt.” Halt glanced at him. He knew immediately who the she he spoke of was. 

“ What did she say? “ He questioned softly. Will smiled softly. 

“ It’s not my time. She said I still had things to do and people needed me. “ Halt nodded. 

“ She’s right. If we’re going to win this damn war, we need your mind.” Will chuckled, agreeing with Halt’s assessment. He would never argue when Halt was complimenting him, especially after the day he had. Outside, over the din of the battle, the birds were singing the song that was playing in Will’s head.  ‘Don't worry, love’ He thought. “I can wait until I see you again. “

[writingmaneskin]

Home is Where the Heart is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Thirty One

Description: Learning how to love again, how to heal and that it’s okay to move on and rebuild yourself after dealing with so much pain.

Words: 2.6k

A/N: I missed my silly children. 🙁💕 This chapter takes place not long after the last trip that they had and is still set before the beginning of Handwritten.

THE HIWTHI MASTERLIST

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

kofi || taglist || come chat ||

Damiano was a homebody. He thrived being back in Rome and there was a sense of peace that came from the fact that his loved ones were all within reach and not a couple of hours away travelling by plane.

Being home also meant that he had the chance to get into some sort of a routine with Dante and figure out how to maintain it which would be easier now with the band taking a bit of a longer break - they all needed it. 

Eli’s life wasn’t slowing down by any means - in fact, they were busier than ever but Damiano was more than happy to be there and make sure that they have everything they needed, make sure that their family is taken care of.

“When can we meet up?” Vic texted Damiano one afternoon.

“I’m home, would you like to come over? I miss you.” 

“I miss you too. Are you alone?”

“I am. Eli is working late and my mom took Dante for the evening, so it’s just me.” 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“I’ll see you soon, sorella.” 

And true to her word, Victoria showed up at his doorstep twenty minutes later. Damiano hugged her tight and the two of them held each other for a little bit, each treasuring the comfort and the familial love between them.

“What’s up, kiddo? Do you want some tea?” 

“Tea as in gossip, or tea as in the drink?” Vic chuckled and made her way into the apartment.

“As in the drink.”

“You are such a grandpa, don’t you have something fizzy in that fridge of yours?” 

“No, best I can offer is orange juice.”

“Orange juice it is.” Vic took off her shoes and plopped herself on the sofa.

Damiano lit a cigarette and carried two glasses of orange juice to the coffee table, then sat opposite Vic so he could look at her.

“I’ve been thinking a lot with all this time that we’ve had on our hands…” Vic started.

“Is this going to turn into a lecture?”

“No, listen. We haven’t had a break in a very long time. Our lives were completely different the last time we slowed down. We were kids and now you have a kid.”

Damiano smiled.

“True.”

“I am scared.” Victoria admitted.

“Of what?”

“Of who I am without all the shows, without the constant moving around. I think I might have lost parts of myself in all the work and I am now unsure of what and who is left.”

“You have time to figure it out now.” 

“And if I spiral?”

“If you spiral,we’ll take care of you as we always have. Just because we are not together 24/7 and not constantly running ourselves into the ground working, doesn’t mean that we’ve abandoned you or that we won’t hang out, or show up if you need us.” Damiano went to give Vic a hug when he saw that her eyes were full of tears.

“I worry that I’ll lose all of you.”

“No, we are not going anywhere.” He comforted her.

“Do you want to call over the others?” 

“Yes, I miss them.” Damiano admitted. They had been texting but it just wasn’t the same.

“I miss them, all of you so much.” Vic grabbed her phone and texted Ethan and Thomas.

The boys showed up not long after the invitation and both Damiano and Victoria felt relief when they did. This was home too, these three people were part of the foundations of his home. 

“The band is all over at our place. I will likely cook for them, maybe with Ethan helping me. Did you eat today? I can maybe sneak away and bring you some food?” Damiano texted Eli before leaving his phone on the coffee table.

“Is everything okay between you and Eli?” Thomas asked, going to grab himself something cold to drink from the fridge.

“Yes. We are in a good place.” 

“I am happy to hear that. You deserve all the happiness.” The look on Thomas’ face was genuine, yet Damiano could see the sadness in his friends’ eyes.

“What about you and Tom?” 

“It’s complicated.” Thomas said, opening the bottle of sparkling water.   

“Are you trying to figure it out between each other or just avoiding the feelings altogether?” 

“I am trying to untangle the feelings and make sense of them and make sense of everything without saying anything stupid and pushing Tom away.” 

“How is that working out for you?”

“Not great. Whenever we do talk, we try to talk about feelings and when it gets awkward we just change the topic and pretend nothing ever happened.” 

“Do you want him in your life?” 

“I do.” Thomas nodded.

“Then don’t give up. I made a lot of mistakes before I got with Eli and I almost made the biggest mistake getting back together with Y/N and disregarding what I feel for Eli in favour of what I thought would be best.”

“Do you regret anything?” Thomas asked.

“I think we all have regrets but right now I try not to think about them too much.”

“When did you get so wise?” Thomas nudged his friend playfully, making him smile.

“I had some growing up to do recently and I think that might have sped up the process.” 

“Dante is very lucky to have you.” 

“I am the lucky one. And Thom, I am sure you and Tom will figure it out. I am sure there will be a happy end for us all.” 

“A happy end?” Thomas looked confused.

“Yes.”

“But I don’t want it to end. I want it to go on. I want a happy continuation. I don’t want the story to end.”

“When did you turn into a poet?” Damiano smiled and at that moment his phone lit up with a text from Eli.

“I ate and I’ll spend some time with Tom after work. Are you okay? Do you need anything?” 

“I miss you and I can’t wait to hug you.” Damiano typed back.

“I miss you too. Send my love to everyone and I’ll see you soon.”

“Say hi to Tom and text me if you need anything.”

“I will, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He looked away from the phone and saw that Thomas had joined the others in the kitchen, Vic trying to re-braid Ethan’s hair, Thomas trying (and failing) to give directions. It felt cosy. He took a picture of them before starting to get out the ingredients for dinner.

“You don’t have to be a dad tonight.” Victoria told him from the sofa, her fingers still tangled in Ethan’s hair.

“I am a dad always, Vic.” Damiano chuckled.

“Yes, but you don’t have to make our dinner and then tuck us in bed.” Thomas added.

“Can we have a sleepover,  though?” Vic added.

“Of course, my house is your house.” Damiano immediately replied.

“Let’s go out for dinner before Vic gives me a bald spot.” 

“I will not.” She insisted and focused on fixing the braid.

“We’ll go out for dinner and we can come back and have the sleepover.” Damiano smiled.

“What about Eli?” Ethan asked.

“They said they’ll spend time with Tom after work. I will probably see them tomorrow if they don’t come home in the middle of the night.” Damiano smiled.

Thomas didn’t say anything.

“No sulking for Tom tonight, please.” Vic called him out immediately. 

“I am not sulking.”

“No one is sulking tonight.” Vic looked at the three men.

“Of course, of course.” 

**

Damiano texted Eli about the change of plans and after a quick wardrobe change, made it outside with his friends. Ethan called their favourite restaurant to book a table and Damiano called Leo to invite him to dinner too. 

The atmosphere at the restaurant was cosy and familiar, giving the four of them a feeling of grounding.

“Did you miss us all so much, Vic?” Leo teased.

“Of course I did. We have been together non-stop for months.”

“It’s weird to not be constantly on the road.” Ethan added.

“It’s a nice change of pace.” Damiano said while looking at the menu.

“Of course, you love it, you homebody.” Vic chuckled.

“I missed it. I missed the stillness and I already have ideas for the new album, whenever that comes.”

“Have you written anything?” Leo looked at him.

“No, just some ideas in the notes app. Nothing more. I need to recharge, to give Dante some sense of normalcy, to spend some time with Eli. I am sure the writing will come naturally.”

“Is everything okay with you two?” Leo asked.

“Yes, Eli is just very busy.”

“You should plan a staycation for you two.”

“I am already on it.” 

“Do any of you have solid plans for anything during this time off?” Leo asked after they had ordered their dinner.

“Lots and lots of family time for me.” Damiano spoke first.

“Maybe some travelling, lots of reading for me.” Ethan added.

“I don’t know.” Thomas said quietly. 

“I just want to figure things out. Figure me out.” Vic shrugged. Thomas threw his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her hair.

“We’ll be there for you.”

“You better, I love you all too much.” Vic admitted.

“Count on us.” Ethan smiled at Vic but his smile quickly died on his lips as he looked to the person behind Vic. Damiano turned around and froze when he saw who was standing there. 

“Can we speak?” Y/N’s mother stood there.

“I have nothing to say.” Damiano stood up. 

“I have some things to say, please.” The older woman pleaded.

“If you’ve come to make some excuse or other for the way you and your daughter ghosted, please don’t.” Damiano looked at her.

“I have not. I bring something for you to give to Dante when he grows up. Something from her and me.”

“Why?” He looked at her again, his attention finally catching on the detail that she was wearing all black.

“I made a lot of mistakes in the past years, starting with the fact that I allowed her to take him away from you. That I stood by her and wronged both you and Dante. But she was my daughter.”

No one spoke a word and Damiano noted the tremble in her hands.

“What happened? Is Y/N okay?” Vic finally broke the silence.

The woman did not respond but handed Damiano a sealed envelope.

“I am sorry for everything, Damiano. I am sorry for all the harm I’ve caused. The time I had with Dante was some of the best in my life and I will always regret the harm that was caused.” 

Damiano did not know what to say. He held the envelope, recognizing the handwriting.

The woman didn’t say anything else as she left the restaurant and he sat back down at the table.

“Do you think she might be dead?” Leo asked.

“Are you going to open the envelope?” Thomas added.

“Maybe and yes.” Damiano managed after a little while.

“Do you want us to call Eli?” Ethan offered.

“No. Eli has enough on their plate, I will tell them when they come home, when I’ve had some time to process whatever curveball Y/N is throwing at me.” 

“Please drink some water.” Leo passed him the glass which Damiano gratefully took.

Damiano did. The waiter brought over the food.

“Do you want to open it?” Thomas asked quietly, referring to the envelope.

“No, not right now. I want to have dinner and sleepover with you.”

“That’s what we are doing then.” Leo smiled.

“You’re not alone and neither is Dante, it will be okay.” Ethan reassured him.

“Thank you.”

**

Eli needed twin time. The chaos of everyday life, the new dynamics and routines that they were putting themselves in were all great but one thing was non-negotiable and that was time with Tom.

They wrapped their arms around Tom, needing the heartbeat of calm before being engulfed in chaos again.

“Hey you.” Tom held them and smiled.

“Hi.” Eli said as some of the tiredness left their body instantly.

“I missed you too.” Tom pressed a kiss to Eli’s temple, making them smile.

“So much.” Eli affirmed, clinging to Tom.

“Is Damiano upset that I am stealing you from him tonight?”

“No, he has plans with the band and he knows I miss you.”

Tom didn’t say anything, instead kissed Eli’s temple again and opened the passenger door for them.

“I’m driving only because you look exhausted.”

“Fine, this time only.” Eli took out their phone and sat in the car, checking the notifications.

“I know you are out with Tom tonight but please come home later and don’t go to your apartment. I need you.” 

“Are you okay?” Eli was already worried.

“Yes, I just don’t want to sleep without holding you.”

“I’ll be there.” 

“Everything alright?” Tom started the car.

“Yes, Dami asked me to go home and not to my apartment.” Eli half-smiled.

“I am really happy that you two are figuring it out. It’s nice to see you this happy.” 

“It feels a bit surreal at times.” Eli admitted.

“You pined for a very long time, of course it feels surreal.” Tom joked.

“It was never the right time and we are trying to make sure that the right time is now because it’s definitely the right person.” 

“I can relate.” Tom nodded vaguely.

“What’s going on between you and Thomas?”

“Just some very long conversations that lead nowhere and we both get frustrated and that’s about it.” 

“How can I help?”

“I just need some time with you. Some time spent without thinking about how much my heart hurts, without the longing about a person who is right there and who i am not sure can ever love me the way I need him to love me.” 

Eli squeezed Tom’s hand.

“Even if it’s not with him, you’ll find happiness. I am sure of it.”

“The only thing I am sure of is that I am sick of feeling like this.” 

**

Everyone was fast asleep earlier than Damiano thought they would be. Vic snuggled up between Ethan and Thomas in the guest bedroom, Leo choosing to go home but promising to bring breakfast in the morning, leaving Damiano alone with his thoughts and the envelope left on the table.

He lit a cigarette. 

Then another.

Eventually the lock clicked and he heard Eli’s soft footsteps.

“Hi.” Eli wrapped their arms around him, noticing the ashtray full of cigs and his stiff posture.

“Hi.” He kissed their hand. 

“What’s this?” Eli pointed at the envelope. 

“I am not sure, but I didn’t want to open it without you here.” 

Eli put down their bag, washed their hands and then took a seat on Damiano’s lap.

“What happened? Why didn’t you text me about it?” 

“We were out for dinner and we saw Y/N’s mom. I didn’t text you about it because I compartmentalised the information and tried to have a good dinner with the gang and just ignored the fact that Y/N sent Gods know what.” 

Eli felt frustrated, but they also understood why he acted the way he had.

“Do you want to open it?”

“Yes, but I am also afraid.”

“You’re not alone. I won’t leave you.”  Eli promised.

--

taglist: @queendorkula @oro-e-diamanti @maneskings @iosonoarina @hiraetheral @vita-thrasher @katyldamusic @ethaneskin @theimpossiblehologramtree @dubist-immerinmeinengedanken @butkutee @8iunie @ventvnni @dpaccione @elvirabelle @cuzimitaliano @daddydamiano @shehaddreamstoo @soficide @iamtashaquinn @alexxavicry @inloveppp @tnu-ree @bigsimpsimp @ccweasley

[elizmanderson]

"a kiss to anger a third party," perhaps from this post? elizmanderson. tumblr. com /711617943947067392

okay so fun fact, I am actually an idiot who read right over “another kissing prompt” on the post this kissing prompt came from and rb it just intending to like save the list of different kisses for later

but then I was too embarrassed to admit that in response to this ask WITHOUT writing something so long story short instead of researching lighthouses today like I was supposed to, I wrote a 1,700-word short story about fake girlfriends who kiss in the hallway outside grandma’s sewing room to piss off some shitty relatives

so. yeah. uh. enjoy I guess.

A KISS TO ANGER A THIRD PARTY STORY THAT I DIDN’T MEAN TO WRITE BUT HERE WE ARE

Fake dating has been going shockingly well, considering you’re terrible at real dating and also at lying, and somehow faking dating is both. Then again, family get-togethers are always awkward as fuck. Your cousin and his wife always share a chilly silence; your uncle has a casually off-color comment for every occasion; your mother judges everyone like doing so is an Olympic sport; and your grandparents desperately try and fail to keep the peace. So no one notices that you and Maeve stand across the room from each other instead of holding hands and melting into each other’s bodies the way two lovey-dovey newlydatings should allegedly do.

Rather, if anyone notices, they figure it’s normal. That’s how relationships are in your family, grandparents aside, and everyone has long since written them off as sweet old weirdos. The only reason you don’t think the lingering gazes you share with Maeve are more action than your relatives have ever had is the existence of multiple generations of biological children.

You share a gaze now. Not because you’re actually into Maeve, although you’re not not into Maeve; you picked an attractive fake girlfriend. Tall, with an undercut and dark eyes and a crooked nose and muscley arms that sometimes you think would be really great for picking you up and throwing you onto a bed, before you remember this is fake and please brain do not.

The corner of Maeve’s mouth turns up. You look away, biting back a smile.

You would like to stand here not-smiling at Maeve all night—or at least until the end of the torturous family cookout, which hasn’t even technically started yet because your uncle decided to “help” Grandpa with the grill and ended up setting all the food on fire instead, and the second attempt at dinner just went on the grill three minutes ago—but you seriously have to pee. In lieu of food, you’ve downed three cans of Coke from the drinks fridge in the garage. You cross the kitchen, accidentally-on-purpose brush against Maeve as you exit, and head down the hall to the half bath.

When you come out, you hear voices. Snatches of words. Your mother and cousin-in-law, sitting in your grandma’s sewing room. They’re supposed to be organizing it for her, but instead they’re sitting on bolts of fabric, gossiping.

“...tried to tell me they’d found someone, but they look absolutely miserable with that girl they brought,” your mother says. With a jolt, you realize she’s talking about you. “Maybe they’ll sit together at dinner, but with how far apart they’ve been standing since they arrived, I doubt it. And that girl has been scowling at everyone.”

“She’s worse than Luc,” your cousin-in-law says smugly. “And god knows he has the worst resting bitch face I ever saw. Sometimes I don’t know why I fell in love with him. No offense.”

“None taken. He’s not my kid.”

You don’t even like Luc, but your fingers curl into fists. As usual, you wonder what the fuck you did in a past life to be born into a family of people who spend all their time hating each other.

“Anyway” —your cousin-in-law examines her nails, fresh from a day at the salon, where she surely treats the staff hellishly— “I don’t think it’ll last. They’ve hardly spoken two words to each other all afternoon.”

Your fists tighten. She’s one to talk. She and Luc have hardly spoken to each other since the day of their wedding; on the rare occasion you do hear them speak, they’re picking fights. She gushes about her perfect marriage to anyone who will listen when her husband isn’t around, but their marriage—your uncle’s marriage, your parents’ marriage, every marriage around you except your grandparents’—is exactly the reason you’ve been so reluctant to date. The reason you asked Maeve to fake being your girlfriend, so your relatives would stop offering to set you up with someone. They all make each other fucking miserable.

And they think you and Maeve won’t last?

Okay yeah sure fine, you and Maeve aren’t a thing in the first place. Not really. You’re neighbors, and coworkers, and maybe friends now.

But since Maeve agreed to fake-date you, you’ve shared more with her about yourself than you have with...anyone, maybe. Definitely more than you’ve shared with anyone in your family. Definitely more than they share with their respective spouses, or each other.

Silly things, mostly. You like it when the front door of a house is painted bright, aqua or magenta or chartreuse. Your favorite flowers are all the yellow ones, like dandelions or forsythia, even though otherwise you’re not that fond of yellow. You always like the sad songs and love ballads more than the fun, fast-paced songs that steal the show. Things that don’t matter, except that they do, because now Maeve points out all the brightly colored doors when you walk back to your apartment building together after a shift.

Your mother and cousin-in-law are still talking. The conversation has moved on now—apparently your uncle has cheated on his wife, again—but you’re angry. Your skin prickles. Your nails bite your palms. You could nudge the door open and confront them, but confrontation has never been your forte.

Instead, you tiptoe to the kitchen and touch Maeve’s back.

She half turns, an eyebrow quirked. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just. I need you to come with me.”

“Why?” Maeve asks, but she’s already following you back down the hall.

“Because my relatives suck and I need you to kiss me.”

You stop far enough from the sewing room that your mother and cousin-in-law probably won’t hear you. You turn toward Maeve, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. It hasn’t occurred to you that the words I need you to kiss me actually just crossed your lips. Maeve’s dark eyes flicker over you, but she mirrors your posture and waits.

“They’re all in shitty marriages,” you say in a low voice, “except my mom, because she’s in a shitty divorce that was so shitty it was almost as bad as the marriage, except that it was over faster. But because we’re not attached at the hip or making googly eyes at each other, they think my relationship with my new girlfriend is a dead-end that’s going to end before it’s begun.”

Maeve snorts. “Fuck them. I may not make googly eyes at my fake girlfriend, but they’re nuts if they think I wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth and back for my fake girlfriend. Or, like, bring home takeout every night after work, or always do the laundry because they hate doing laundry, or whatever.”

That gets you for a second, because okay yeah sure fine it’s all fake, but Maeve still just kind of said she’d go to the ends of the earth for you. And bring you takeout. And always do laundry, which honestly might as well be a marriage proposal, because someone doing the laundry so you don’t have to is well and truly your love language.

“So.” Maeve’s eyes rove over your face. “Not that I object to kissing you, but how exactly is kissing going to help this situation?”

Right. You asked her to kiss you. Or more accurately stated slightly desperately and angrily that you need her to kiss you. You tense, trying to sound cool and nonchalant when you’re now thinking about kissing Maeve.

“When my mom and cousin-in-law come out of that room,” you say, nodding back toward the sewing room, “I want them to see us kissing. Like, really kissing. You know.”

The corner of Maeve’s mouth lifts again. “Really kissing. Gotcha.”

You flush. “Yeah. That. I just. I want...” You want some really great kissing. Focus. “I want them to see that we’re actually fucking into each other and super affectionate with each other even if we don’t feel like turning it into a performance so everyone else will believe we’re in love.”

Maeve tilts her head. “Even though it’ll literally be a performance so everyone will believe we’re in love?”

Your flush deepens. “Yeah.”

Maeve shifts closer, her eyes flickering over you. God, her eyes. Dark and intense and always just a little bit sad.

“I think I can sell being fucking into you,” she says quietly.

Shit, you think vaguely, poor choice of words on your part, because fucking and you are the only things you can think now that Maeve has repeated them back to you. But the thought slips away, because now Maeve is an inch away, her tall body curving over you, and her hands are cupping your face and oh my god she is actually really for real going to kiss you.

Her lips brush over yours, soft and sweet. Your breath hitches.

The door opens down the hall. As your relatives step out of the sewing room, Maeve crushes your lips under hers. Her hands slip into your hair, your arms wind around her neck, you pull her down, closer, closer, and now you’re kissing her back, your fingers playing in her hair just because they can, your eyes closed, your skin glorying in the warmth of her breath, the press of her body against yours.

Behind you, Luc’s shitty wife makes a sound of disgust and says, “Oh my god, get a room!” Your mother hisses, “Do you want to give your grandmother a heart attack? Right outside her sewing room!”

But (a) your grandma is safely outside by the grill, far away from the sudden make-out session, and (b) your grandma, if she saw you kissing a pretty girl, would almost certainly say something along the lines of “isn’t that sweet!” or “good for them!” And frankly you don’t remember why it was important to kiss Maeve where your mother and cousin-in-law would see it. Or whether there was a point to kissing Maeve at all, unless kissing Maeve was the point.

Your brain is preoccupied with Maeve’s lips on yours, her hands cradling your head, your body crushed beneath hers. But as your relatives slink past and disappear, as the sliding door in the kitchen opens and slams, as Maeve goes on kissing you like her life depends on it, as you fail to say something along the lines of okay we can stop now—as you fail to say, in fact, anything at all—you think, distantly: maybe this dating is less fake than I thought.

[vicstmichael]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: Answer the questions as yourself or as an OC of your choice

I was tagged by @artcoffeecats! Thank you for still tagging me in fun things even though I'm never here <3 You're the best!

My tags are: @cydneydaemon, @rachaellawrites, @ashirisu, @dewiwrites, @brieflyinfatuated, @scribe-of-stories and whoever else wants to play because that's all I can think of off the top of my head!

Okay I'm totally stealing Mary's idea of answering as two MCs (one in bold, one in italics) and having them banter back and forth (go see their original post, it's so cute) because it looks like so much fun!

I'll answer as Jamie Prowse and River Gray from my latest WIP:

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah, my Grandpa on my Dad's side! He was so chill. Took me to my first Seahawks game. I'm not much of a 'James,' though. Jamie is fine.

Couldn't tell you. My mother never told me, and I don't care enough to ask her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Like, yesterday, probably? I saw a really cute dog.

The night I moved in with my brother. And Jamie, by proxy. It was a momentary lapse in control that won't happen again, trust me.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I think I'd like to have them someday.

I'm sorry, what?

Uhh--maybe we should table this conversation, yeah?

No, no. We're having it right now.

Omg look over there, what's that? *points, runs away*

4. Do you use sarcasm?

I never used to, but I've been doing it a lot more since River moved in. I think it's contagious.

Fortunately for me, stupidity isn't contagious.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, easy. They tell you a lot. And, uhh, I have this weird superpower where I can gauge a person's mental state pretty much instantly. Like, if they're okay or not.

He's not kidding. It's creepy. For me it's whether or not the person is a threat.

*scoffs* How often are people actually threats, though?

More often than you'd think.

6. What's your eye color?

Hazel, like my dad's! They remind me of the woods back home. I like them, they're one of my best features!

Blue.

He's being modest. They're, this--like--rich, dark, midnight blue. They're gorgeous.

Jamie. *blushes*

*grins* You loved it, shut up.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Ooh, I love scary movies!

Ugh. Do I have to...?

It's fine, Riv, there's nothing wrong with liking happy endings! It's cute!

Shut up. I just think... you watch a movie or read a book to escape, right? There's enough pain in the world as it is. Why willingly put yourself through more when you could choose joy instead?

8. Any special talents?

He thinks the fact that I can speak French is a talent. I don't really see it that way, though. I don't know... photography is a talent. I'm good at that.

And writing! He's a great writer, especially poems. My talent is bass. Oh, and cooking! Those are pretty much the only things I'm really great at.

*Frowns* Not the only things.

What else, then?

Is being annoying a talent?

You're so mean. Wait, is making people laugh a talent? That counts, right? I can make pretty much anyone laugh if I really try.

Yeah, Jamie. That counts. *smiles*

9. Where were you born?

Seattle born and bred, baby!

Bordeaux, France. Didn't stay long after, though.

10. What are your hobbies?

Playing bass. Songwriting. Jamming with the roomies. Can it still be a hobby if it's also your career?

I hope so, because I was going to say photography. I also enjoy hiking and poetry--reading and writing.

And journaling. *smirks*

Hey, focus on your own hobbies.

11. Have you any pets?

Not yet, but someday we're getting a dog. Right, Riv?

Seriously? You know I'm a cat person. Having a dog is one step below having an actual child, you realize that, right? You can't even keep a fish alive.

Ye of little faith. Besides, cats are scary.

You would think that.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played football for like five minutes in high school, but it was interfering with band stuff. Does watching football count?

Sports? Ugh. Pass.

13. How tall are you?

I dunno, 6'2? Tall enough to be constantly hitting my head on shit.

...5'8...

He's just a cute lil guy. Just the cutest, ittiest, bittiest--

Jamie.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Music class! That's a cop out, right? It's true though. I liked it. Plus, my music teacher was a total fox. *grins* Ms. Dawson. I wonder how she's doing these days.

*raises an eyebrow*

Aww. I just wanted to see if you'd get jealous. Okay, you go!

Classic lit. Took it as an elective in college. I much preferred it to my business and finance courses.

15. Dream job?

I have my dream job. Playing music for a living with my best friends.

I suppose I have mine, too. Shooting photos of my brother and Jamie playing music with their best friends for a living. Not the direction I expected my life to take, but I'll take it.

Awww. Love you, baby.

Yeah, I know. *blushes*

Cool it, Han Solo.

[redphienix]

Got the late night blues so let me take this opportunity to instead focus on something genuine, joyful, and heartwarming for myself.

I've taken a few scant opportunities to talk about various things my dad has done that make me happy- that add up to a small part of why I love the guy, and for my 30th birthday he did another one that really touched my heart.

The thing with my dad is he's not a particularly externally expressive emotion kinda guy. Like think of a generic physical labor tough guy dad type and you've got the idea- not particularly expressive, sometimes he's grumpy, that kinda person- at least as far as he's expressed to me all these years.

I've seen him at some emotional break-points, he's not so stone cold that I've never seen him cry and I've certainly seen him laugh or joyful- but most of the time he's kind of plain-faced and quiet about it. I'm giving a touch more of a 'grim' implication to him, it's more accurate to say he's got like a 10% happy 40% hard-ass 50% present attitude to him. He usually feels pleasant but quiet unless he's telling a story.

So you wouldn't really think to get particularly heartfelt gifts from the guy, and usually you won't. He's said many times ever since we were kids that he can't pretend to know what we'd actually want, so he gives money. That's his gift, that's what you get, he loves ya and here's 50-200 bucks or whatever. Happy birthday/christmas etc.

A few times he's broken this, either because someone else pushed him to, or because we ask for something specific, or because he gets an idea- and these moments- especially the last one- always catch me off guard.

That's how you get him painting a giant pikachu on my wall as a kid, or helping paint a skyline with birds across a different childhood room, or the pendant he gave me a few years back that I'll always guess my step mom pushed him to get but the fact he did still makes me smile-

but for my 30th he did something that caught me off guard so much it took me a few hours before it really hit me and damn near made me cry because I find it sweet.

When I was a kid my dad used to take me to a giant kentucky flea market that happened like once a year. We went a good handful of times together, it was a big deal for us, it was like up to a week we'd spend just me, him, my grandpa, and usually an uncle or cousin along for the ride, and we'd work a stand and explore the market.

So here's what he got me:

Some of you will know, others might scratch your head- the thing is for a moment I was the latter.

This looked so FAMILIAR but it escaped me.

Then I was reminded why it looked so familiar. They are honey sticks.

A treat I used to beg for constantly whenever we went on our trips.

There was a stand where a bee-keeper (or not hell if I know) would sell tons of flavored honeys they had- I remember begging to get big jars of the stuff with combs inside- what I had forgotten until I saw these was just how many of these little sticks I had eaten over my many years visiting the market.

I used to get these all the time!

But the thing is.

My dad remembered.

Of course he did, he was older than I was at the time, but also, he didn't have to remember. It isn't like we talk about that time too much, I wouldn't expect a sentimental memory like this.

But the time we shared was important enough to remember. He remembered kid me loving these silly little treats and begging for them and how many I tore through while we ran the stall, and he picked some more up to celebrate my 30th.

Just typing it has me tearing up pretty bad. I love that mother fucker.

I've only eaten one so far, but it brought back so many memories of our time there.

I just. I love my dad. And the fact he sat there and thought of me, remembered me, and got me something that only I would find meaningful due to our shared experience, it got me pretty fucking hard, man.

Hilariously enough. To cap it off he got me a little money. Because he's my dad. He doesn't know what I'd want, so you get money, and that'll do.

[lia-jones]

Resistance - Evol: Chapter 27 - Bury your sins

OK, brain, think. Let’s try and do this the Victor way.

I tossed and turned in bed, hoping my last sleepless night would have me tired enough to sleep this one. But thoughts and emotions stirred angrily inside me, and I couldn’t put them in order. Again, my husband came to mind, and the nights I would find him bathed by the moonlight, swirling a glass of brandy, trying to calm his mind.

Come on, Andrea. What would Victor do? Facts, not feelings.

He could put them so easily aside it was scary, but I couldn’t argue against the results. It would make people call him cold and aloof, almost robotic, which was far from who he really was. Victor was warm and kind, and honestly had the biggest heart I had ever seen, and that was why he needed to put it aside so he could think: It weighed so much on him he couldn’t bear to hold his thoughts and his mind at the same time.

Ok, facts. Lucien came to see you and he said some things about your mother. He said your mother and his parents are related. He said he had changed from his shady villainous days, and that he wanted to help. He said your mom had been a spy for BS, one of the big shots at that, and her codename was Psyche. He implied she had done terrible things to protect you, not just letting all of those children die. He told you he would kill you if you didn’t respect your part in history, that you would be begging him to kill you if we came to that.

None of that seemed to have the faintest trace of truth in it. Yes, I remembered his father, or at least he made me relate him to the doctor that gave me the shots and who my mom seemed to trust immensely. But it could also be a fabrication. Like when people say newborns look like their mothers or fathers. It’s a lie, a biological need for belonging that makes us see those things, because truthfully, newborns look like nobody. They are all bloated and wrinkled from birth, they don’t have any distinguishable features. So if I saw a resemblance, it could very well be because he planted the idea of one. Lucien Xu stroke me as someone cunning and eloquent enough to be able to do that.

But my gut told me not all information was to be ignored. If I thought it through, there was no reason why two scientists who wanted to leave a secret and dangerous organization would still keep ties with an outsider just to help her. Especially someone who they didn’t know well and could easily be tortured into telling the truth. They would just disappear, vanish from the face of the Earth. They wouldn’t take a risk. For me, that only meant one thing: For whatever reason, they trusted my mother, and they knew it would be hard for BS to have her disclose anything. They had to know her very well for that.

I was startled by the sound of pots and pans clanging downstairs in the kitchen. The sun was starting to rise, it was already morning. I got up, decided to at least try and distract myself with breakfast.

The kitchen had always been the heart of my house, growing up. Every bad day, every important decision, every celebration, these were things that would make us gather around the kitchen island and spend time with the family, usually with something to eat or drink. I would often find my mother sitting there, reading a book or working on her laptop, her reading glasses down the bridge of her nose.

It felt so empty without her.

“The eggs are not the way you like them?” My father brought me out of my reverie.

The eggs looked fine, although I had no idea if they were tasty. I was yet to have a single bite.

“They were delicious, Grandpa.” Owen smiled, taking his dish to the sink. “Thank you for cooking.”

“Your son is so polite and helpful.” My father smiled. “You are raising him well.”

“Not my doing. At all.” I felt my heart lift a little, looking at my child. “He’s just like that, he likes making people happy.”

“Just like his mother, bottling up her feelings to spare her old man.” My father took my hand. “Will you tell me what’s troubling you? What’s going on between you and Victor?”

“I was thinking about Mom’s academic studies. Maybe we can speak to the university and republish her work. A postmortem edition to honor her.”

“You look tired.” My father insisted. “Have you been sleeping well?”

“I don’t know, maybe I could get her notes and compare them to what has already been printed, I know she had some ideas that hadn’t been released yet.” I got up abruptly from the table, emptying my plate into the trash. “I wonder if I could take a look at that.”

“Owen tells me you and Victor get along well, that you went to his apartment when Josh called you.” My father took the plate from my hands, looking me lovingly in the eyes. “It can’t be that bad. It’s not irreparable.”

“You’re not listening.” I raised my voice slightly, frustrated. “I need to see Mom’s notes. Can you tell me where she kept them?”

“Your mother never told me much about her work, apart from some stories she brought from work sometimes. Confidentiality was a serious matter to her.” My father looked down, defeated. “Maybe in her office or at the university.”

“I’ll check there, thank you.” I smiled, taking my bag. “Actually, before I forget, could you do me a favor?” I turned, trying not to look too anxious. “Maybe you and Owen could spend the day with Cristina today? He should share time with Ana as well, it’s a good distraction.”

“That’s a good idea.” My father nodded. “And actually, I need a favor from you in return.”

He marched towards me, grabbing my shoulders.

“Take some time to take care of yourself today.” He massaged them softly. “You take on all this weight for yourself. You are mourning too.”

____________________________________________________________

My bet was in my mother’s office. If she had something secret about Black Swan like he had said, she surely wouldn’t leave it at the faculty office she shared with her research partner. She would’ve kept it somewhere close, somewhere she could keep an eye on at all times. At the same time, even before my father spoke, her office was my first guess. And if Lucien was right and BS was indeed involved, it was also theirs, since they had it taped and guarded as a crime scene. 

Again, my mind turned to Victor. If I hadn’t called him the day before telling him that I no longer needed the legal team’s assistance, I would probably have an easier time getting into my mother’s office. But if Black Swan was involved, I didn’t want them to trace anything back to Victor. If Lucien was right, their focus was on me and it should remain that way. Luckily Victor didn’t see through my lie, because he promptly agreed and quickly moved to the next subject: How I was coping with all this. After a few evasive answers and the call was done, but not before the usual recommendations: To not strain myself, to not do it all alone, and to call him if needed.

And I really needed him. I took the phone and pressed the dial button. I could use some courage.

“You have reached Victor Lee, I am not available at the moment. For pressing matters, please reach my assistant, Henry Goldman.”

I sighed. He was probably stranded in a meeting, screening all his calls through Goldman. I could call him later. I made a last turn to the right, parking in the underground parking lot a few minutes away from my mother’s University.

I walked the busy avenue, remembering the times I had gone there to meet my mother. I called most of the assistant professors by their first name, and the gatekeeper didn’t even bother asking who I was anymore. It was weird to have to announce myself this time. A few moments later, one of my mother’s colleagues and best friends, Ryu, came to greet me.

“It shocked us all when we learned the news.” He spoke as he served me an espresso in his office. “What a tragedy. And what a loss to the scientific community.”

“What was she investigating now, do you remember?”

“She didn’t come to the office anymore. We were working on a remarkable subject a few years back, but she suddenly dropped it. And after that, she seemed to be interested only in her patients. When you…” He paused, giving me a knowing look. “Well, she focused on trauma, and I chimed in here and there as a neuroscientist, but she never got to finish that one either. On second thought, I think maybe she was already getting ready for retirement. She was a grandmother, and with you abroad, she maybe wanted to have free time to visit. She told me you got married and adopted a little boy.”

“Yes, Owen.” I showed him a picture on my phone, one of Victor with Owen after his soccer team won a match. I remember Owen was exhilarated, laughing on his father's shoulders.

“And your husband.” Ryu smiled. “I have seen him many times already, he’s a well-known patron of the sciences. “Nice catch. He seems like a very dignified and intelligent man.”

“He is, yes.” My heart panged, and I cleared my throat. “Actually, I was telling my father it would be nice to see if she had any other ideas, maybe revisit her previous work and do a reedition post-mortem. Of course, since you were a part of it, your name would be on there too. That study you were talking about, what was it about?”

“I don’t know how you people do it in Loveland, but in this country, if you want to publish a study, secrecy is a must.” Ryu smiled. “You saw it yourself, with that German team almost publishing before you did.”

“You don’t know?”

“I never did.” He shook his head. “She would come with CAT scans, and blood work, and lots of questions. I could vaguely tell what she was aiming at, something to do with brain evolution. She seemed to have come across some children, by my observations, one in particular, with unusual brain activity. I only got to see the title of the study once, but even that was greatly vague. It was called Psyche. It could be anything.”

I felt my skin crawl. Could this be the journal Lucien was referring to?

“Did she keep any record of it here? Can I see it?”

“Of course not, like I said, secrecy. My best bet would be her office, or even at home.”

It was definitely not at home, that much I could tell. My mother wouldn’t keep a secret that big at home, where my father could easily find it. If it was in her office, and if BS was indeed after it, they had found it already. They had plenty of time to search.

I entered the car, taking my phone again. Was it even worth it to visit her office? And even if it was, how the hell would I get in there? Without thinking too much about it, I tried to call Victor again. I was starting to get a bad feeling about all this, I needed to hear his voice.

“You have reached Victor Lee, I am not-”

Damn it, how was he still unreachable? I had spent more than an hour talking to Ryu, he should be done with his meeting by now. I called Goldman instead.

“Andy!” He answered with a sullen voice. “How are you? I have been wanting to call but-”

“Diane called, it’s ok. I know how it feels, you never know what to say.”

“Yeah, Di is much better at it than I am.” He cleared his throat. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I can’t get Victor on the phone, do you know where he is?”

“He didn’t come to the office today. He had to go abroad to meet a client.”

So that was why his phone was off. He was in a plane. I sighed with relief.

“You didn’t know this? You’re his wife. He didn’t tell you?”

“Yeah, he did, I just completely forgot.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Thanks, Goldie.”

I threw the phone on the front passenger seat, and drove away to my mother’s office.

____________________________________________________________

There were no police cars in front of the building. I entered through the main door, greeting the receptionist like it was just an ordinary day. I entered the elevator, pressing the button to the floor where my mother’s office was located. I had no idea how to get in there, if it was so heavily guarded. I would have to play it by ear.

The moment the elevator doors opened, I felt my phone vibrate. It was an incoming text message from an unknown number.

You shouldn’t be here.

My heart jumped. Who the hell was texting me and how did they know where I was? I left the elevator slowly, looking around. The floor looked empty. The door to my mother’s office was still taped and closed, but unguarded. Had they given up?

The message was clearly from someone trying to discourage me. I would not let that happen. I sent a defiant message back.

I don’t know who you are, but you won’t stop me. I’ll find out the truth.

I left the elevator and started ripping the tape apart. Using the spare key my mom had at home, I unlocked the door.

The white carpet was mostly dark red now, stained with my mother’s and her killer’s blood. The office was a mess, every drawer and every shelf torn apart, books and documents all over the place. As Lucien had said, they were after her journals. And by the looks of it, they had already found them. My phone vibrated again.

Three men are riding the elevator up as we speak. They are not the police. Don’t let them take you anywhere.

I heard the ding of the elevator from a distance. I would have no time to run to the service stairs without being spotted. I would be caught red handed. I expected them to barge into the office, guns blazing. Instead, I could hear them pace calmly in my direction. An old man entered my mother’s office, smiling at me.

“This is a crime scene, Mrs. Lee.” He showed me a badge, speaking in English. “My name is Special Agent Morris, STF.”

“You have this office under your custody for over three days now.” I answered calmly, as I figured Victor would do. “The same goes for her body. I needed some of her personal items.” I grabbed a few books off the floor. “I have them now. Thank you.”

Before I could leave the office, two larger men stood in my way, blocking my exit from the outside.

“You can’t just invade a crime scene and not expect any consequences, madam.” The older man spoke again. “However, I’m willing to turn a blind eye to all of this, we were about to close the investigation and leave the premises. Your mother’s body will be released from the morgue as well, we have already spoken to your father. All we need to do to speed up the process is to get a statement from you.”

“A statement? What for?”

“Standard procedure.” The man smiled. “We’ll give you a ride to the station.”

I had to keep my cool if I wanted a chance to escape. If I showed any sign of fear or apprehension, they would grab me and take me forcefully. As long as I kept calm, they had no reason to blow their cover. I walked silently with them to the elevator.

“If I may ask, why is STF involved in my mother’s murder?”

“You are married to one of the most prominent men in Loveland.” The man politely prompted me to leave the elevator. “We just want to make sure none of this is related to Mr. Lee.”

“I see.” 

They led me to a black sedan, opening the door for me to get in. I looked around, noticing the other entering the car as well, one in the front, and the other in the back, right next to me. I motioned to get in, observing the man that was holding my door.

“Could you please give me a hand?” I pretended to be having a hard time getting in. “I think my heel got stuck.”

The moment he ducked his head was my opportunity. I threw the door on his face as hard as I could, bolting from the car before the other one had any chance to grab me. And then I ran. I ran as fast as I could.

“Get her!”

I heard a car start and speed behind me. If I didn’t find a way to leave the main avenue, I would be easy prey. Just as I saw the car right next to me, I found an alley in the opposite direction. I turned right, hoping it would lead to somewhere where I could at least hide. But before I knew it, I felt strong hands grabbing me. However, instead of pulling me towards the car, they were pulling me into the darkness of the alley. This couldn’t be good.

“Let go of me!” I turned and kicked the man in the crotch, leaving him breathless. The other one was right behind us, coming for me. He grabbed me by surprise, throwing me into a wall, leaving me in a daze. Before I knew any better, I was being held by both men, one of them clasping my mouth, preventing me from screaming. The older man walked calmly towards us, holding a syringe.

“I was hoping we could do this quietly, but if this is the way it needs to go, so shall it be.” He pressed the plunger, a bit of the fluid squirting out. “Whether you want to or not, you’ll tell us all we need to know.”

I was helpless. There was nothing I could do to escape that situation. No matter how hard I fought my helplessness, I always ended up feeling like this little ant that everyone could squish. I had learned Krav Maga after Daniel, and it still didn’t help me escape these men. I tried so hard in my childhood to fit in, being the best at school, excelling at the arts, but my mother still looked at me with worry in her eyes. And now that I knew the reason why, because I had an Evol, it didn’t serve me much either. All I could do was make oil boil. 

They would take me, and Victor would go after them, and they would get him next. Owen would be an orphan once again, just because his mother was weak. All of those children that had died, maybe they were the strong ones, maybe they were the ones who could have made a difference. Maybe I should have been the one to die in that orphanage. Small ants can’t do much for this world.

No. That’s wrong. They can. My son would be the first to remind me of that.The old man suddenly froze in place, the needle aimed at my neck. His face turned red, like he was making a tremendous effort.

“What…” He barely moved his lips. “What are you doing?”

What was I doing? I was tired of being helpless.

I will never be able to fully explain how my Evol works, and how it feels. The best that I can say is that at that very moment, the world was open to me. I could see all the molecules, all the energy that binds them and kept them apart. I could listen to the beautiful perfect music they made. It was like a complex partitur in my piano that I could read, play, and improvise. And at that moment, I was making the old man’s muscles hard as stone.

I would not be helpless anymore. I summoned all the energy around me, and reshaped gravity where I stood. I retracted it, and then I expanded it.

The two men holding me were thrown against the wall at a speed of 150 miles per hour, dropping instantly to the ground, motionless. The old man flew back as fast as a baseball, crashing through the window panes of the building across the street.

And suddenly I was alone in that alley. And I realized I had just killed three men. I ran to my car as fast as I could, my hands shaking as I put the key in the ignition and drove out of there. 

_____________________________________________________________

“You have reached Victor Lee, I am not available at the moment. For pressing matters-”

“Damn it!” I punched the steering wheel hard, as I drove back home. I needed to know if he was alright. I needed to know if Owen and Dad were alright. I dialed my father’s number next.

“Hey, I was just about to call you.” My father answered. “I got a call from the police. They released your mother’s body. I already scheduled the ceremony for tomorrow.”

They were ok. They were ok, they were ok, they were ok. I could breathe.

“Andy? Andy, did you butt-dial me?”

“I’m here.” I croaked. “I’m…” It was a relief to finally have some closure, but that also meant a permanent loss. I didn’t know how to deal with that.

“It’s ok, kiddo. One day at a time.”

“Are… Are you guys home?”

“No, we are still with Josh and Cristina, the kids are so happy playing I don’t have the heart to leave just yet.”

“It’s ok, it’s good they are happy and unaware of all of this. Just be careful on your way back, ok?”

I couldn’t tell him what was happening. But at least in broad daylight, with other people surrounding them, no one would dare to hurt them. At least I hoped.

“We’ll buy dinner on our way home, you don’t need to worry about cooking. Are you driving home as well?”

“Yes.” I took a deep breath. “Yes, I am.”

“Do try to get some rest. I bet you had a long day.”

My body shook with the memory of those men being thrown against the wall, blood running down their nose, mouth and ears.

“Yeah.” I gripped the steering wheel harder. “I will.”

In this particular case, rest meant whiskey. Or vodka, or whatever drink my father had there that could knock me out for a few hours. I eventually found a forgotten rum bottle in the back of his bar and headed to the greenhouse.

I lay there on the tile floor, looking up at the glass ceiling, adorned by the leaves of the potted lemon tree. All my life had been a lie, but still, I couldn't help but hold onto those small moments, those little happy pieces of my childhood that made sense. They brought me relief from all the chaos. As long as I held tightly to the memories of me and my brother playing in the greenhouse, burying treasures in the pots, I could forget about all the rest.

“It’s not fair, how can you be so good at finding them?” I could still hear my brother complain. “You gotta be cheating, you look while I hide them.”

“I’m not!” I pushed him back, offended. “I just… I just can tell where they are! I don’t know how!”

“Liar! I’m telling Mom you’re cheating!”

“You take it back or I’m telling Mom! I’m not a liar!”

I wasn’t lying. All it took was to touch the dirt or the pot, and I could feel if there was a toy in there or not. It didn’t happen all the time, but sometimes I could. Maybe when the drugs holding my Evol back were starting to wear off.

I got up from the floor and walked to the lemon tree, my hands caressing the trunk. And just like when I was a child, I could feel the tree, and its roots, and the moisture the dirt held. And… Something that didn’t belong there. Plastic and… paper?

No. No, no, it couldn’t be.

The lemon tree was too heavy and large for me to pull out from the pot, so my only solution would be to break the pot for good. It was sad to destroy it like this, something that had been there pretty much all my life, that almost felt like a heritage. But apparently, that was not the only heritage that pot was hiding.

After hitting the clay pot with a hammer, I was able to break the pot and move the condensed dirt inside of it. The lemon tree finally gave in, slamming against the floor. Tangled inside its roots, a transparent plastic bag covering what looked like an old notebook, the letters on the cover spelling Psyche.

[xoxo-teddybear]

4 weeks - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: SMUT, cursing, needy Bakugou, 18+, sub!bakugou, dom!f!reader, oral, use of viagra, NOT SPELL CHECKED (sorry >w<)

Summary: Bakugou done fucked up and now he has to pay the price..sorta

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: just for the sake of the story, your quirk is “Command.” As long as you come into physical contact with your opponent, even for a second, you can command them to do your bidding until you say “rebel.”

“WHAAAATTTTT??????!!!!!!”

You could’ve sworn the whole house, scratch that, the whole world shook as Bakugou screamed at you.

Bakugou had fucked up. During a little heated session, things got a little too rough. As Bakugou was railing you from the back, he tugged at your hair. However, along with your soft locks, he pulled on your thin necklace chain that was gifted to you by your precious 5 year old son. The chain broke and Bakugou didn’t even tell you. He opted to have you both finish before he even mentioned the broken gift.

And now it was the next day and Katsuo, your son, had noticed the missing necklace. It did hurt him a bit especially considering he did so much to earn money and go with grandma to buy the necklace but he assured you it was okay. You sent him off to his room to play as you walked to the kitchen to scold and punish your husband. As you complained to him, he conversed with you as his back was facing you and only turned when he heard your punishment for him.

“You heard me. 4 weeks. No sex, no touching, no hugs or kisses, no nothing. No. Physical. Contact.” You said with a stern and nonchalant face. Your arms were crossed as you faced your husband who looked at you with an open mouth and open palms.

“Wha- but- WHY???” He whined.

“Katsuki come on! You broke my very expensive necklace!” You said, gesturing to your now bare neck.

“Who cares if it was expensive, I could buy you another one! We’re pros Y/N, we could buy a unicorn if we wanted!” Bakugou argued as he was still trying to get out of his punishment. You only crossed your arms and pressed your fingers into your forehead.

“That’s not the point! It’s the fact that even though it was so expensive, our 5 year old son still bought it! And so because you broke it, this is your punishment.” You explained. Bakugou groaned as he threw his head back and huffed towards the ceiling when an idea came to his mind.

“You know..” he began as he walked towards you, “I broke that necklace, on accident, because I was so focused on pleasuring my queen. Anndddd I could make it up to you in the exact same way~” He attempted to wrap his arms around your waist but you spun around and stepped behind him resulting in him stumbling forward. He turned towards you and growled.

“Really Katsuki? You’re gonna snarl at me? Look, you know the rules, so follow them. Now I’m going with Katsuo to get him a new toy to cheer him up, you just...heh, sit in your room and think about what you’ve done.” You teased. You grabbed your purse and had Katsuo get ready. Once he was done you told him to get into the car and you walked to Katsuki to say bye. You smirked as you looked at him and pressed your hands against his chest. You slowly went in for a kiss and Bakugou looked at you in shock before he smirked and leaned in too. But just as your lips were about to touch, you pulled away and walked to the door. As you opened it you turned to him and spoke.

“No kisses. Remember?” You grinned at him. He snarled and picked up a pillow off the couch and threw it towards you but you shut the door before it could reach you. This was gonna be a long 4 weeks for Katsuki.

—

Katsuki awoken to his gorgeous wife....sleeping on the other side of the bed far..far away from him. No touching meant no sleepy time cuddles either. It had already been like this for a week. He looked a little closer at her sleeping figure and smiled at her peaceful state. He scooted closer and he tucked his head into your neck and wrapped his arm around your waist. Or more like he tried to. The second his arm made contact with your body for cuddles, you woke up and smacked his hand away.

“Ah! Y/N!! This isn’t fair!” He whined. He looked at his arm and saw a little red shade forming as he pouted at you. You turned towards your doting husband and just gave him a stern look.

“Who broke my necklace?” Bakugou sighed and flopped onto the bed on his back as he faced the ceiling.

“Me.”

“And now who has to pay the price?”

“Me.” He pouted again. You chuckled as you got up and stretched.

“Stop pouting Suki. You’re not Katsuo.” You giggled but he only looked at you with the same pout.

“He’s my carbon copy, we’re basically the same person.” You smiled at your humorous husband and he smiled seeing the grin that bestowed your face. You kneeled on the bed and leaned into him. You placed your hands on his chest as you got close to his face.

“You’ll survive, Love.” You said and then gave him a loving kiss. His eyes went wide at the surprise contact but he quickly smiled into the kiss and returned it as he shut his eyes to enjoy it. You intensified the kiss but when Katsuki went to pull you in closer by your neck, you quickly backed away. He looked at you in shock before whining again.

“Okay, first of all, I thought you said no touching.” He growled as he clenched his fist.

“I said you couldn’t touch. Never said anything about me,” you said with a cocky grin. Bakugou’s face went red at your devious actions.

“Okay well what the fuck? You can’t just kiss me like that and stop after I already went a whole week without touching you. Come back here,” he said as he tried to grab onto your wrist but you backed up and walked to your bedroom door.

“Get ready for the day love, this is just the beginning.”

—

Mitsuki and Masaru had just arrived. Katsuki was sitting on the couch trying to distract himself with the TV while you were in the kitchen making a smoothie when door bell rang. You opened the door greeting your in-laws with love and expectance.

“Hi Mom! Dad! Come in! Katsuo is almost done packing his bags,” you happily said as you stepped to the side to allow your mother and father in law to enter.

“Umm, what? Why is my son packing his bags?” Katsuki asked as he stood from the couch.

“Y/N didn’t tell you? We called a few nights ago asking to bring Katsuo on a trip. She said yes and told us she’d tell you about it later,” Masaru explained. Katsuki jerked his head towards Y/N in disbelief as she placed her hand on the side of cheek and spoke.

“Oops! I guess I forgot,” you said with sarcasm dripping in your voice. Mitsuki and Masaru believed you but when they turned to face their son again your mischievous grin returned as you also faced Katsuki. He was silently fuming as he watched you go from angel to devil in a second.

“Ah well, who cares. Point is, we’re here to pick up my grandson!” Mitsuki said as she took a seat on the couch. You all made small talk but Katsuki continued to stand as he processed just how conniving his wife was.

“Mama! I’m all set!” Katsuo said as he came down the stairs with his little suitcase and teddy bear in hand.

“Hi baby! Grandma and Grandpa are already here,” you said and Katsuo excitedly ran to his grandparents.

“Grandma! Grandpa!” Katsuo said as he jumped into their arms.

“Ohh, hello my little firecracker!” Mitsuki said, greeting her grandson. “Ready for a vacation in Rio?”

“Mhm!” Katsuo quickly replied but Katsuki just stuttered in shock before he spoke again.

“Woah- wait? Rio? You’re taking him to Brazil? That’s across the globe, how long are you guys gonna be gone?” Katsuki asked with concern. Not for his son, he completely trusted his parents with his child and he knew they would have fun. He was worried for himself. Taking care of Katsuo was a distraction for Katsuki. Watching his son kept his mind off of wrecking Y/N. If his son was away for too long, he didn’t know how long he would survive his punishment.

“We’ll be gone for about 3 weeks. Don’t worry, we’ll be back before you know it.” Masaru said.

“Wha- huh? 3 WEEKS?! .....Y/N you little satan,” he whispered the last part. He turned to face you and saw a Cheshire grin on your face. His face turned red and you swore you could see steam leave Katsuki’s ears but you continued as if everything was normal.

“Alright well, we’ll be going now!” Mitsuki said as she stood alongside her husband. Katsuo said his partings with his parents and they said their “I love you’s” before their son walked out the door with his grandparents. Katsuo was about to have the time of his life while Katsuki was left to suffer.

Y/N was seated on the couch as Katsuki was still seething. She held a grin on her face as Katsuki slowly turned to look at her.

“You got some explaining to do, princess,” he said adding poison to the loving nickname. You only smiled some more as you stood and walked to your husband. He towered over you but right now, you were above him because you held all the power now. You got in his face as you spoke words that would set him off.

“Whatchu’ gonna do now without your little distraction running around, daddy?” You softly but sinisterly and seductively said as you chuckled and purposely bumped into his shoulder as you walked away.

—

Bakugou has slowly been losing his mind. He was on the last day of the second week and it’s been killing him. When he sat down he would spazz a little and his fingers would be having a little seizure. His eye would twitch at night as he kept his back to you to restrain himself. The soft quiet moans you would release in your sleep every now and then would send Bakugou into the bathroom in the middle of the night to relieve himself. Just the sight of you was daring Bakugou to pounce.

You weren’t making it any easier for him either. First you send his son AKA his distraction from his hot wife away, then you tease him constantly, you also allow yourself to touch him but refuse to let him cop a feel on you, and now, you walk around after work in his t-shirt and a pair of cute panties. Your plump ass on display and the sight of your plush thighs drove him wild.

You were sipping tea in the kitchen when your frantic husband came in. You took notice of him and greeted him with a smile before it quickly dropped at the sight of him. He looked awful. Bags under his eyes, a twitching eye, a crooked line for a smile, disheveled hair, and his posture was horrendous. He took a seat next to you saying nothing as he just tapped his foot against the floor.

“Umm...baby? Are you okay-“

“NO! I’m not! I’m not okay, not at all!” He snapped as he looked at you with wide eyes. You stared back at him with the same eyes as you slowly took another sip before continuing.

“What’s the problem, love?” You asked as if you didn’t know.

“What’s the problem?” He began with a whisper. “What’s the problem?! Oh, like you don’t know you TEASE!” Bakugou stood from his seat as he clapped his hands to dramatically to explain.

“HOR-NY!” He said as he brought his hands together for each sound. “I am insanely horny, you shitty woman! I can’t get myself off, I don’t have my son around to keep me busy, work is just annoying now, and my fine ass wife won’t let me touch her!”

You laughed a little as he explained and Katsuki had his jaw dropped at your rude behavior.

“You’re laughing? Oh you think this is funny? Oh okay,” he said and walked away.

“WHEN THIS BULLSHIT IS OVER, YOU’RE SUCKING MY DICK Y/N!” He slammed the door to your shared bedroom but he screamed loud enough for you to hear all the way from the kitchen. “ON SOFT!”

—

The end of the third week. It was almost too much for Katsuki. Katsuo would be back in another week but it would be pointless because the punishment would be over by then. I mean yeah, he’d get to have his son back again (yayy familyyy) but when Katsuo would be back, Katsuki would be completely indulging himself in Y/N. How the fuck were they supposed to keep quiet?

Whatever though. Katsuki had no time to think of the future. He was living in the now, and so he had to come up with a plan to get Y/N to break. In the beginning of the 4th week, Katsuki spent time and time again tweaking his plans and coming up with new tactics until he realized....his damn wife was just as stubborn and hard headed as he was. Nothing was gonna break her. And so we’ve been led to this.

“BABBYYYYYYYYYY”

“...”

“PRINCESSSSSSSS”

“...”

“Y/N BAKUGOU!”

Bakugou resorted to being a puppy that basically had separation anxiety. He would yell and shout and whine at every chance he had. He would do whatever if it meant getting you to break. He missed you. The last time you made physical contact with him was during that kiss and man did it send Katsuki into a frenzy.

Considering Katsuki’s quirk contained nitroglycerin, a chemical commonly found in viagra, it was safe to say it was very easy for you to rile him up. And as he thought about that, it hit him like a train. If he can’t go to you, then he’ll make you come to him. He’ll set you up and he knows exactly how to do it.

Bakugou left the bedroom and ran down the stairs to find you in the living room. You were cozied up with yourself under a blanket that covered your booty shorts that you wore. You were entranced by the story of a book as you allowed the TV to play at a low volume for background noise and Bakugou’s heart swelled at such a domesticated moment. “Hi baby.”

You looked up to your husband and rolled your eyes with a smile as you looked at him. You wondered what trick he had up his sleeve this time around. “Hey. You need something?” You asked.

“Mm mm,” he shook his head with a soft smile, how cute. “Just was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me. Get some snacks, sit in bed, and just enjoy some time together.”

You smile grew wider at the thought of a little date night in your shared bedroom and you were quick to agree to his offer. “I’ll get the snacks,”

“No don’t worry about. I’ll get it. I already have everything set up. Picked a movie and everything. All you have to do is just be there with me.” You awed at your husband’s kind gestures as you went up to peck his cheek.

“Thanks Suki!” You happily said as you walked away. Bakugou watched your form disappear into the master bedroom before he quickly ran through all the cabinets and fridge. He frantically looked for viagra but when he couldn’t find any he whipped out his phone. He called a number that he knew was going to be able to help him.

“Listen Dunce Face. Don’t ask any questions, just do as I say if you want to fucking live. I know you have female viagra on you and if you don’t, get your ass to the store right now and pick some up for me. Bring it to me ASAP!” He quickly said and hung up before giving Kaminari any time to reply. Bakugou slowly prepared snacks to eat and in 5 minutes a knock was heard on the door. He ran to it and opened the wooden piece to find a huffing electric blonde.

“I....I....I got it!” Kaminari tiredly breathed out as he held a bag over his head to show the items he brought. Bakugou snatched it out of his hand before giving a quick ‘thanks!’ To show his appreciation and slammed the door.

Katsuki took the pills out of its containers and crushed 2 into a powder. He mixed it in with your bottle of water and finally brought the snacks and drinks up to you. He walked in to find you waiting on the bed for him and you smiled at the sight of him. He placed the bags of junk on the bed as he quickly joined you until he realized something was off.

“Umm...Y/N?” You smiled as you knew what he was going to ask and considering you guys were gonna have a little movie date, you gave in.

“Fine.” You happily said as you gave in and Bakugou was quick to pull you into his arms and become the big spoon. He finally got to hold you after so many weeks but this was not his main goal. No he wanted much more. This was only a stepping stone to his victory.

The movie began and Bakugou had you cuddled in his arms. You were enjoying the warmth of your husband as your eyes were drawn to the screen and you couldn’t help but smile at these sweet intimate moments like this. Yeah. You’ve missed him over the past few weeks but a punishment is a punishment. So you decided to savor this time with him before going back to cutting off physical contact once more.

Time had passed and Bakugou watched as you picked at the snacks and swallow down sips of the contaminated water. He smirked every time you downed a gulp and now the best part was coming up. See, Bakugou chose everything so that he knew exactly how everything would turn out. With that being said, he chose a movie that he knew would help the viagra in your system to get you going.

The erotic scene played and Bakugou watched as you rubbed your thighs together for friction. You bit your lip from time to time to hold back a needy groan and you began feeling heat all over you. And it wasn’t coming from Katsuki. Seeing you in this state, Bakugou slowly went to place a hand on your bare thigh. You didn’t push him away and Bakugou grinned at the fact that you were breaking. He soothed and rubbed at your thigh as he would squeeze it every now and then as well. The whole time you were asking yourself why the explicit scene was so detailed and so long.

Out of nowhere, you felt Bakugou’s hand travel up your leg and to your core but just for a second. The teasing touch had you silently gasp and you craved for more. You turned to Bakugou to see he was leaning against the headboard and he would release a grunt every so often which didn’t help relieve your growing heat. He didn’t seem bothered by anything or affected at all as he watched the movie continue.

Enough was enough, you picked up the remote and turned off the TV. Bakugou turned to look at you with a raised brow but openly smirked once he saw you straddle his lap. You shamelessly began to grind yourself against his core as you both released sighs and moans at the friction. His hands went straight to your hips as he spoke.

“What’s wrong princess? What happened to my punishment?” He teasingly asked.

“Shut up,” was all that you said before you quickly dove in for a hungry kiss that Bakugou happily returned. It was all teeth and tongue as you both pressed against each other, grinding against one another’s clothed centers. Moans were released into the kiss as you began to undress yourself. You both pulled away for a second to remove your tops but quickly went back in for the kiss. You removed your shorts as Bakugou remained in his sweats. You were left in nothing but panties before Katsuki decided to rip those off.

“Katsuki...nobody said anything about you being able to touch me again,” you clarified with sharp eyes. Bakugou’s eyes went wide. He thought this was the end of the punishment. He thought you gave in.

“What do you-“

Before he could finish, you placed your hand on his shoulder and activated your quirk.

“Sleep.”

And just like that, Bakugou was out like a light. While he was unconscious, you took the opportunity to tie his wrists to the headboard using one of his dress ties. You removed his sweats and briefs as you allowed his member to stand tall. You stared at the red, angry tip that was drenched in pre-cum. You smirked as you sat yourself on his waist as your hand went to stroke his member the slightest bit. He moaned in his sleep and you giggled as you spoke again.

“Rebel.”

Bakugou slowly woke up, but once he fully came to, he was completely submerged in pleasure. His eyes were blessed with the view of your naked body, with a beautiful face that adorned a smirk. And he understood why you held the malicious smile. He groaned as he felt your pace at his dick speed up. You leaned down to his ear as Katsuki held heavy breaths with a flushed and red face.

“No touching, remember Suki?” You whispered as you then licked the shell of his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“F-fuck! Fuck, Y/N please. Please just do something...Ahh~” You trailed your thumb up to his tip as you focused on it. The feeling sent Bakugou into heaven.

“Awww, you thought you could tell me what to do? If you didn’t notice, tonight, I’m in charge.” You said with a grin and devious eyes. Bakugou groaned even more as he waited for you to do..anything! “I’ll tell you what though, Suki. You have been pretty decent for the past few weeks so I’ll give you a little something. And maybe if you’re a good boy for me, I’ll let you have the main course.”

Bakugou watched as you stopped your hand movements and scooted back. You were face to face with his dick as you jerked him off some more. You held his member in your hand as you made eye contact with him. You licked the base of his cock all the way to the tip causing Bakugou to sigh and moan. You kissed the tip before taking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around.

“Oh s-shit! Baby! Fuck-“

You went down on him one time and moaned around his cock, allowing the vibrations to have full affect on your trembling husband. You pulled off him with a pop as you smiled up at him.

“Oh I’m sorry. You wanted me to suck your dick on soft, right?...Mm, well it’s not my fault you can’t control your hard on.” You teased to which Bakugou growled at you. “Again with the snarling? That’s not what good boys do Suki. Good boys do what they’re told so they get to cum inside a pretty pussy~”

Bakugou perked up at the temptation. Cumming inside you. Breeding you. Pumping you full until you give him another brat. The thought of you walking around beautifully swollen with his kid drove him mad and desperate.

“Let me cum inside you Princess.” He asked with a soft but stern tone.

“Ah ah, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not the one giving orders tonight, Katsuki. So listen up. I’ll go down on you for about 5 minutes. If you don’t come in those 5 minutes, I’ll let you cum inside. However, if you do, I’ll be leaving you here with a cock ring for the next few hours while I go and pleasure myself somewhere else. Understand?” You watched as he attempted to fight against his restraints.

“No.” He refused to give in. He turned his head down, avoiding your gaze and you sighed in return.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just have to take care of myself,” you said and slid off him. You were about to walk away before Bakugou called out for you.

“No wait!” You turned to him and gave a little curl with your lip. “Tch....please.” He said while blushing and staring off.

“Please what suki?” You said, acting dumb. Bakugou really didn’t wanna beg but he’s so close to getting what he’s been craving all month. Screw his damn pride. He was gonna get laid and he was gonna get it tonight!

“Please! ....Fuck me, touch me, suck my dick, let me cum inside you, do something to me! Please Y/N,” he begged. His member still stood erect and you smiled as you walked towards him.

“That’s my good boy,” you said as you caressed his jaw and gave him a quick and passionate kiss before moving down to suck him off. You kissed his tip multiple times before taking him in. He gasped and sighed at the contact and feeling of your warm cavern but he’ll be damned if he came undone in less than 5 minutes. He needed to cum inside your sweet little cunt and he was gonna do whatever it took to do so.

You bobbed your head at a steady pace causing Bakugou to plead for more. You swallowed his pre-cum, which left him gasping. Your hand went to fondle his balls as he fought against his restraints. He wanted to use his hands to take control but he couldn’t, not with them being tied up.

“P-please baby. Faster! Please!” He begged. And who were you to deny your good boy. You sped up your movements and moaned with his cock seated in your throat. “Ohh god! Yess!”

His legs shook as he was close to cumming. He looked at the time and saw he only had 1 minute left. Just 1 minute. Hold it in and he gets to cum inside you. However, he didn’t know you had a little trick up your sleeve.

When you walked away before, you grabbed a mini vibrator. Seeing he only had 1 minute left, you turned it on and placed it at the base of his cock while you sucked him off and moaned some more.

“F-fuck baby! S’too much! Stop- stop! ...ohh fuck I’m-I’m gonna cum!” Bakugou screamed with his head thrown back. He jerked his hips up as he attempted to fuck your mouth but you squeezed and scratched at his bare thighs to get him to stop. And finally, with your permission..

“You can cum now, good boy,”

He filled your mouth as he screamed in pleasure. His legs shook in pure ecstasy as he filled your mouth with his sweet-salty release. You pulled off him with a stuffed mouth and watched as his chest puffed up and fell down. He sighed before he looked at you with rosy cheeks. You smirked at him, opening your mouth to show him his work before swallowing it all. The erotic scene caused him to bite his lips and throw his head back as he puffed some more.

He can’t believe he was at his limit and all because of a blowjob. His dick grew soft but rose once more as vibrations came in contact with his shaft again. He flinched at the sudden feeling and looked at the cause of it and saw you holding the vibrator against him. “Baby? W-what? W-hy?”

“Aww Suki. Don’t you remember? It’s time to give you what you’ve wanted all month,” you smirked at him. His eyes went wide. How could he forget? He wanted to cum inside you so badly, but he didn’t know if he had any left. He didn’t know if he would be able to take it after his extreme climax.

“W-wait! Wait Y/N. I-..I need a break for a second. I can’t-“

“Excuse me?” You cut him off. “So you’re the only one that gets pleasure out of all this? I don’t think so.”

“No baby, that’s not what I meant. I just- it’s just...s’too much!” He cried out as he watched you hover over his erection. You lined his dick up with your entrance and smirked some more.

“You can handle it. I know you can. You’ll be my good boy and pleasure me too, right?” You sweetly said. Bakugou didn’t know what it was. He was never the submissive one but you calling him a ‘good boy’ did something to him. It made him want to completely submit to you and do whatever you pleased. You slammed down completely on his cock as you both cried out in pleasure.

“Fuck!” Bakugou screamed. You began a fast pace bouncing up and down on him. Your hands found placement on his bare chest as he threw his head back and made an abundant amount of noise. “Oh baby! Baby- slow down! F-fuck too much!”

“Mm..c’mon Suki..I thought you wanted this. Fuck- I thought you wanted..to be my good boy,” you teased while moaning. You held a devious grin as you rode him and he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Poor baby was so overstimulated.

Bakugou released sobs of pleasure but he enjoyed it all nonetheless. “S-shit! Oh my godd Katsuki! S-So big!”

“Ahh! Fuck! Y-Y/N..baby please! Let me touch you! Please!” Bakugou seethed out. He had his feet planted on the bed as he attempted to thrust up into you. You, growing a soft spot for the man below you, gave in.

“Heh...be a good boy and please me Suki.” You released his wrists from their ties as you never stopped your motions and his hands were quick to find home around your waist.

Bakugou was quick to take control and bounce you up and down on his shaft, controlling the pace. Now it was your turn to scream and cry in pleasure as Bakugou slammed you down on his cock while ramming up into you at the same time. He was going to be a good boy and please you.

“F-fucking shit! You like that? Huh?” He gave your ass a quick and hard smack before continuing. “You like the way my dick feels inside your sweet pussy?”

The pleasure was too much for you. You could barely form words as he catered to your body. His thrusts were beginning to bring you to your end as you felt the familiar tight feeling grow stronger in your stomach. You pussy clenched around his shaft as he released a gruff moan at the squeeze.

“Shit..you gonna cum baby? Gonna cum on my dick? ...fuck yess~ let me fill you up princess,” he said as his thrust grew sloppy. He was close to his end as well and you nodded in approval to his desire.

“Ka-Katsuki! I’m gonna cum..fuck baby I’m cumming!” Bakugou sped up the slightest bit to help you reach your climax until you finally came. You both released cried of euphoria as you both met your orgasms and met each other for a hungry kiss. At the same time, Bakugou stopped his thrusts as he shot his load in you, and a mix of your releases seeped out of your cunt. Your kiss was sloppy as your tongues fought for dominance. Bakugou let his hands travel to your ass where they helped you grind on his dick a little more and smacked it once again.

You both had moaned into the kiss until oxygen became necessary. You separated from each other with small pecks before finally stopping. Bakugou remained inside you as you settled into his chest. He had his arms wrap around you as you both spent time catching your breaths. Once you both finally settled, you bathed in the comforting feeling of the after sex glow and cuddled in a comforting silence. Bakugou had kissed the crown of your head before he spoke up and broke the quiet.

“So much for a punishment,” he teased. You looked at him with slanted eyes as a way of telling your husband to shut up but he only chuckled at you. He lifted your chin and brought your lips to meet his once more for a loving kiss before separating to tell you sweet words.

“I love you, princess.” He said with his husky voice.

“I love you too, Suki.” You sent your hand to intertwine with his and he gladly accepted. He was right though. So much for a punishment. Oh well, you’ll get him next time he fucks up.

A/N: EW THE ENDING WAS SO BAD!!!! WTFFFFF! Whatever. I hope you enjoyed it bear Cubs! I’m sorry I’ve been in my lil slump but I feel myself getting better and I’ll be back soon!💗🧸 And now...to start on the ninth chapter of my series. Yayyyyy😓

A/N: I think my favorite part is when Katsuki yells “Suck my dick!...on soft!” Cuz I be walking around and saying that to mfs who test me. If you disrespect me, SUCK MY DICK..ON SOFT! 🤣 am I a female? YES! But you will suck my soft non-existent dick if you decide to act like a prick for no apparent reason. Thank you!😂

[jbreenr]

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale × Reader

Summary: You wanted to meet Ransom's family, he wanted to make sure you'd never want it again.

Word count: 3k.

Warning: Poorly written smut (+18 only, please), public sex (prompt 11), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do that, kids. be responsible), a bit of dirty talk, the Thrombeys being the Thrombeys. And I think that's it.

A/N: So, after finding out one of my stories was stolen an translated in Wattpad, I did not know if I should post this just yet but, what the hell? Let's do it. Anyway, this is for @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817 's Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge so, happy belated birthday! Yaaay. 🥳 Hope you like this at least a little and that it's not as bad as my paranoid brain thinks it is. Also, I just love how the prompts fit perfectly together, don't you? As always, lack of vocabulary and grammatical mistakes abound. *apologizes in español*

Wheel results (just attaching evidence):

ᴹʸ ᵍⁱᶠ

Draining, tedious, exasperating. Those were some of the adjectives Ransom associated with Thrombey family reunions. He'd arrive late, have some sort of conversation with his grandfather and leave early to do whatever that took him away from that big house.

Today though, he had a reason to stay for more than half an hour.

If it was up to him, you two would have stayed at home, happy, relaxed, and most importantly, naked in his bed, having a more pleasant time than the one you were most likely about to have. 

He tried to persuade you. Of course he did! But your insistence and puppy eyes made it impossible for him to say no to your request. 

So, here you were, getting out of his car, cake in sweaty hands and an excited smile on your lips, an expression so different from Ransom's, who seemed to be ready to get back behind the wheel and drive straight to Canada.

He didn't knock; he simply opened the door and held it for you to enter. If the three floor house was imposing from the outside, you felt impressed by the inside. Extravagant sculptures, apparently expensive paintings and other kinds of pieces of art were scattered everywhere, telling you just how wealthy and eccentric Ransom's family were. 

“That's Harlan Thrombey! ” You exclaimed as you stood in front of the portrait of your forever favorite author holding a knife and a book.

“So?” Ransom asked, unconcerned.

You turned to him open-mouthed, the cake almost slipping off your palms as you went to playfully slap him in the arm.

“How come you are related to Harlan Thrombey and you didn't tell me?” Your question was more of a shock than an accusation.

The carefree gesture he did with his shoulders only accentuated his next words. “I did not think you would be interested in knowing.”

“I wouldn’t be interested?” Incredulity, flowing out of your lips. “He’s the best thriller author of all time! He’s like today’s Edgar Allan Poe!”

To say that you didn't believe him was an understatement. He knew for a fact that you liked Harlan Thrombey's books, just taking a look at the bookshelf in your apartment was proof enough of that.

“We call him grandpa here.” Said a femenine voice. A brunette walked in your direction, her pretty features hardening as she looked at your boyfriend. “Don't we, Hugh?”

He seemed to be ready to say something but decided not to. Instead he inhaled and placed his hand on your back.

“This is Y/N, the only reason I’m not telling you what you need to hear right now.”

Her eyes rolled in irritation and then turned to you. “I’m Meg. Let's introduce you to the rest of the family, shall we?.” And she dragged you to the room where more people were gathered together, discussing something, not before sending a deadly glare at Ransom.

Given the distance between you and him, you didn't listen to the heavy sigh he let out before waking behind.

“Everyone!” Meg called, making everyone leave whatever they were doing to look at her –and you, in consequence. “Meet Y/N, Hugh's new friend.” She then proceeded to introduce every single member of the family, including the housekeeper and the nurse, except for the grandfather, who apparently had a moment of inspiration and left them momentarily to put his ideas on paper.

None of them left their seat to go and shake your hand except for Meg's energetic mom, who hugged you and expressed how much she loved your coat even though it was soooo last season.

Sitting on a couch next to Ransom, you half expected someone to ask you about how you two met or how long had you been dating or what was it that you did for a living. Nothing. As fast as their attention was on you, it fell from you to their previous discussion.

You now understood why Ransom jokingly suggested deep cleaning the house instead of attending that reunion.

What you weren't aware of, Ransom thought, was that all of them were behaving wonderfully compared to previous times.

You didn't know if you felt more disappointed or uncomfortable. Ransom had left your side to go to the studio for a second and you had barely had any interaction with his family. All of them, dipped in their own matters to even notice your presence. 

Fran, the housekeeper, was kind enough to take the cake to the kitchen and offer you a glass of water, but after giving it to you, she disappeared along with Meg and the nurse. 

“So,” All at once, the room went quiet as Ransom's uncle spoke. “Have you read any of dad's books, Y/N?” Only until you heard your name was that your head snapped up.

“Oh, uhm… yeah. I'm a big fan.” Taken by surprise, you simply answered.

“Really? Which one have you read?”

And to that question, you felt suddenly included in the conversation since you had knowledge of the topic.

“I'm like fifty pages from finishing 'The Needle Game' and intrigue is eating me alive.” As you heard the excitement in your voice, you tried to compose yourself and said “Though 'Nick Of Time' is my favorite.” You smiled at him, hoping that your answer was a good one.

The woman that was introduced to you as Ransom's mother nodded as she licked her lips. The light of the fireplace, reflecting on her glasses as she moved her head up and down.

“Have you read 'Ultimatum' or 'Drop In The Pocket', dear?” Her tone was curious, but the look on her face said differently.

You responded anyway. “They're not bad. I feel like the ending of 'Drop In The Pocket' was a little vague and out of line but it can always be interpreted as an open ending so…” The change in their expressions told you that you had to add something else to that answer. Maybe it was not time for literature humor yet. “But I enjoyed both.”

She hummed and took her drink, detaching from the talk that continued with courtesy questions until it morphed into a heated discussion between Ransom's father and uncle, who would repeatedly ask for your opinion to back up his own.

The discomfort you felt, dispelled to be replaced by the disturbance of being bombarded with dozens of questions at a time, each louder than the other until they changed to a completely different topic to which you were occasionally included as a neutral point of view.

“She knows what she's talking about!” Said Richard at some point when you confirmed one of his arguments. “Thank you, dear.”

Ransom came back from his obligatory argument with his grandfather to find you nowhere to be seen. 

“She's using the bathroom.” Informed Jacob, who did not take his eyes off of his cellphone. 

Thinking that you went there to hide, he started his way to your potential direction until an overheard observation from his mother stopped him halfway through. 

“… Did you hear how she talked about dad's work? Oh, I assure you she won't make it to next week with Ransom.”

Her and Richard's backs were to him, both of them unaware that their son was listening to their share of opinions.

“And did you see her hands?” Joni joined the criticism contest. “She could use some moisturizer, I tell you.”

As usual, they ignored her attempt to fit in and kept going.

“I know it's contradictory to say this,” Richard paused, as to make his point clear. “But he could do better.”

Despite their whispering, Ransom heard every single word and was glad that you were not there to see what was about to happen… 

Ransom's words stuck on his throat when he saw you making your way out of the bathroom, fixing the skirt of your dress, with such niceness and warmth directed to him as you smiled, oblivious to the fact that the people you were trying to get to like you weren't going to. 

His parents were right. He could do better. He could determine to not see them ever again and it would be the best thing to happen to him… Besides you, obviously.

“What's wrong?” Your concern was evident, just as his annoyance was undeniable.

Cold hands caressed his cheeks and Ransom thought of going back to Joni and tell her to fuck off. Your touch was soft, comforting, and gave him the greatest idea he'd ever had.

“I want to show you something.” Was his answer. It was better if you were the one who decided to never step on that house for the rest of your lives. It didn't matter if it was out of embarrassment.

Taking your hand in his, he guided you up the stairs to the first landing. The creaking sound of the old structure, probably alerting everyone in the other room that you were going to the next floor.

“Are you okay?” The sweet giggle that you let out when he abruptly stopped, almost making him feel bad about what he was seconds away from doing. 

“Better than ever.” And he stamped his lips to yours. 

Taken aback, it took you a second to respond. Hands on each side of his face as his own explored your body. When his fingers lifted your dress to caress your ass cheeks was when you ended the kiss. 

“What are you doing?” You asked in a breathless whisper. “Not that I'm complaining.”

You were cornered against the wall with Ransom towering in front of your smaller frame.

Trying to escape from whatever he had in mind was useless, you knew that much. Though, you were not sure if you really wanted to escape.

“What I've been wanting to do ever since you got a shower without me this morning.” His lips found your jaw and descended to your neck where he sucked to create a bruise. Your eyes closed to the sensation.

“Wait. No, wait.” His fingertip that had started rubbing your still clothed bud paused it's motions as his eyes focused back on your face. “We can't do it. Not here.”

Ransom's finger went back to work, bringing a soft moan that you tried to suppress. “Why not? No one's gonna come here.” His other hand moved up your thigh to lift it. “Even if they did, they wouldn't notice.”

With an expert swing of his wrist, he moved your panties aside, letting the cold air that wandered inside the house hit you before his skilled middle finger entered you while still managing to rub your clit in circles with his thumb.

Adrenaline ran through your veins, fuel activating every nerve in your body and shaking away fear from your brain, replacing it with lust and boldness.

“I'm blaming you if we get caught.” Your hips jolted forward wanting to feel more of his hand, the contradiction between your words and actions, making him smirk.

He added a second finger. Knuckles deep and his cold ring slowly warming against the inside of your thigh, he said, “I'll take responsibility, sweetheart.” Pumping his fingers in and out, he felt your slick running down the back of his hand to his wrist, wetting his overly expensive watch and the cuff of his cozy sweater .“But I can't assure you we won't get caught.”

His words, instead of working as a bucket of cold water as one would expect, increased your need to be touched by him, the yearning for him to take you right there and then. 

“Damn it, Ransom.” One of your hands flew to his shoulder to hold onto him for dear life. “I'm close.”

“You're not cumming unless I'm inside you, pretty thing.” At what point did he unfasten his belt and unzipped his trousers, you had no idea. The friction of his digits was gone in a second but the feeling of his already leaking tip rubbing against your most sensitive parts was enough to make you forget about those trifles.

Your lips opened, ready to tell him to keep his voice down when he suddenly thrusted home, stretching you out so deliciously that you had to cover your mouth to muffle the moan that threatened to inform everyone of your current activities.

Ransom's breathing hitched. Being inside you was a dream come true, feeling your walls enveloping his cock so fucking good… it was like you were made for each other, and he was going to prove it, even if his family didn't really get to know.

His hips started moving. Back and forth, back and forth. Delicately at first, letting you adjust to his size but the second he felt you throbbing around him, he increased the pace. Little by little his pounds gained power and energy.

Your whimpers –stuck in your throat, leaving only soft snuffles that crashed against Ransom's cheek, soon became more rapid, erratic and as his fingers dug in the flesh of your thigh to keep you still while he accommodated to go even deeper you heard a creaking noise.

Your boyfriend's blue eyes met yours, his movements never faltering despite the alert given by the dark wooden floor under your feet.

There was a conflict in your head, and Ransom could tell. The way you tightened and the pleading look on your face told different stories, yet Ransom knew they had the same ending.

Shaking your head, your eyes asked him not to do it, but you knew Ransom well enough to be sure that not even begging could stop him. 

“You love it, don't you?” His smile grew bigger as his change of position allowed him to hit your sweet spot on and on, ripping high pitched whines from you and obligating you to close your eyes. “The thought of getting caught. The image of someone seeing how good I make you feel.” The placement of his foot, making the landing creak repeatedly each time he pushed up accompanying every word. “Fuck, you're talking me so well. Such a dirty girl, uh.”

His big hand yanked the strap of your dress down, exposing your left boob. Your already hard nipple was soon attacked by Ransom's fingertips. He'd pinch and twist it slightly, just enough to make your back arch in search of his touch.

Pleasure was overflowing your senses, you could feel your heart thudding in your ears and your legs losing strength. Your hand left your mouth to grip at the back of Ransom's neck to keep you from falling.

The sight of your lower lip trapped between your teeth didn't please Ransom. In other circumstances, he would've let you stay that way, as quiet as possible so no one would walk on you. This time though, it was his intention to rip the most delicious sounds from your lips so you thought of the possibility of his family listening.

And so, he lent to kiss you, passion and desire transmitted through his breath. His tongue asked for a permission that was not really required, but as you let it in, Ransom took the opportunity to bite down your lip.

With your lips forcefully parted and Ransom's restless hand traveling back to your bundle, you had no other option than to moan with each quick circle his digits drew.

A series of laughs and undistinguished words were heard from a distance. Both Ransom and you turned to see what they were about, stopping in your tracks with him still buried deep inside your needy cunt.

“Guess dinner's ready.” Unbothered about the information he just gave, he hid his face in the crook of your neck and resumed his movements.

A shaky oh, fuck fell from your lips as you felt the familiar knot in your stomach forming. Your head flew back, hitting the wall with a soft thud. 

“Careful. We don't want to be obvious, do we?” You knew you were about to explode, and by the way your walls were clenching and your trembling body tried to separate from him, Ransom knew as well. “Let go, sweetheart.” A roar erupted from him as he felt you tightening around his length. “Cum for me.”

With a last, powerful thrust of his hips, you let out a silent scream. The coil snapped, making you see a kaleidoscope of colors behind your eyelids and listen to a loud ring in your ears. 

Ransom followed right after, cursing as he finished inside of you, coating you with every last drop and making sure everything would stay there.

He slid out, leaving you with a feeling of emptiness as he zipped his trousers and took a step back to let you fix your appearance.

You managed to accommodate your dress just in time for Ransom's family to walk out of the room they were in to see you. Your agitated breathing and blushed cheeks, getting everyone's attention. 

“Are you okay, dear?” Ransom's dad asked.

“She's fine.” Your boyfriend answered for you. “She's feeling a little sick. I better take her home.” He took you by the hand and helped you down the stairs to the door, which you thanked. Had he not done it, you would have tripped taking the first step.

“But she hasn't met grandpa yet.” Meg noted, furrowing her brows.

“It'll be next time.” And with that, Ransom took you out of the house and in the passenger seat of his car without giving anyone the chance to say goodbye.

When you were at a considerable distance, you sighed, letting out the air you didn't know you were holding.

“Just so you know, there won't be a next time.” You informed him, against your want to meet his grandfather.

“Why not?” He asked with a chuckle, already knowing the answer. 

“Cause embarrassment won't let me come back in the near future.”

Behind an eye roll and a tap on your thigh, Ransom hid the triumphant grimace his perfectly carried out plan gave him.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Tastes Like Strawberries - Harry Styles

a/n: oh this one is a long boi and might not be the end??? i’ve been working on this fic for days and i have an idea for a possible second part, but i wrote this one so it has a fulfilling ending so it can stand as a oneshot as well! i barely just started working on the sequel, we’ll se how it’ll turn out, maybe it goes to shit lmao but whatever, it’s still a nice and whole story without a second part! this is my V-day gift to you all, have this nice professor!harry fic as if it was a box of chocolate! 🍓 🍫 🍬

special thanks to @pastequeharry​ who put up with my constant rambling and whining while i was writing this, you are a hero, his is dedicated to you!!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content, abusing relationship, it’s got smut, angst, lot’s of banter and all that jazz!

word count: 21.4k

masterlist

There’s just a handful of things to know about Professor Harry Styles and that’s because of one of those very few known facts, the first one being that he is a highly private person. He rarely talks about himself or any aspects of his life, he always makes sure to keep it as professional as possible whenever he is teaching.

Second, he is easily the smartest professor to ever walk on campus, but he doesn’t like to brag about it. You never catch him showing off how much he knows, how big of a genius he is, you’ll just start to realize from the way he teaches and approaches certain topics, how he interacts with others and tries to pass his knowledge down to his students. He is brilliant and he should have all the credits for it, yet he still chooses to keep it to himself.

Third, and it’s the most well-known fact because to see this you just need to have a pair of eyes, he is undeniably the most handsome man to ever teach or if you’re being more precise, walk the hallways of the university. No football crazy, alcoholic fratboy or dreamy looking indie guy from the library can live up to what Professor Harry Styles is. With a face clearly carved by the angels, a nicely built but not too muscular frame, and occasionally displayed tattooed arm that makes you wonder what other artworks his stylish outfits are hiding, there’s no man like him and every female on campus agrees with that.

His lectures and courses are jampacked with sighing and heart-eyed college girls, daydreaming about the man who is solemnly just trying to teach the things he is so passionate about. But it’s not just the students, Professor Styles has managed to charm the female professors of all faculties, you can see them wander by his office way too often, they take any opportunity to talk to the man and try to seduce him. It’s unknown if he is oblivious to the effect he has on women or he chooses to ignore every and any attempts, but this is what leads us to the fourth fact.

Despite all the effort and energy that’s been put into his case by every single woman on campus to break the walls the professor has built around himself, he never let any of his students or colleagues to even think they could be romantically linked for real. Professor Styles keeps his distance and turns down any offer that could be mistaken to anything that doesn’t fit in the professional boundaries.

Anytime a student puts on the slightest flirtatious act towards the professor, he either rejects it straight away or ignores it completely and blatantly, making it his clear answer that he is not interested and then he goes back to teaching. You’ve seen it yourself, having him as one of your professors first year of uni, you fell for him just like every other girl in the lecture hall, dreaming about him in ways you probably shouldn’t think of a teacher while he was just casually talking about his grading system and how he is going to build up the lectures throughout the semester. Some brave girls who you assume were highly celebrated by boys in high school took the courage to openly flirt with him, but he didn’t even flinch before shutting all attempts down, not even a blush appeared on his perfectly cut cheekbones.

You thought of ways you’d try to seduce him yourself, but you never actually tried. You never had the balls to actually give it a go and then suffer from the worst embarrassment of your life when he rejects you. So you kept it all to yourself, only entertaining yourself with your elaborate plans about the seduction of your professor.

Second year passed without any classes with Professor Styles, you had only occasionally seen him come and go, rushing down the hallways holding his notebooks to his chest, a steaming cup of coffee in his other hand as he was heading to his lecture hall that you just knew was filled with girls. You always took a moment to yourself to admire his outfit. He has a tendency to pair odd items and make them look like the most put together fit ever that only he can pull off. However, you and your girlfriends always loved to tease him between each other for his grandpa-like sweaters and vests he seemed to love dearly.

“He confuses me, because I want him to fuck me on his desk but also, I feel like he is about to ask me what periodt means because he is too old to understand slang these days,” your friend, Nat said once when your little group was lounging under the huge oak tree between classes and the professor rushed past you, disappearing in the building without paying any of you a look. He wore a pair of beige slacks and a striped sweater, a wrinkly grey shirt peeking from under it at the bottom. The colors and the style overall once again gave you that old people feeling, but then you looked at his handsome face and couldn’t care any less about whatever he was wearing.

The most intimate way you ever saw him was a few days after your twenty-first birthday the summer before your last year of uni started. You just got back from your hometown, the first person to arrive back to your shared flat with Nat and Eden, so you had a few days on your own. You decided to redecorate your room so you took a trip to IKEA, taking your time looking through the set up rooms, just wandering around as you try to figure out what you really want to buy. Walking through the living room section you spotted the professor and first, you didn’t even recognize him.

He was wearing a pair of bright yellow shorts and a short sleeved shirt with floral prints on it, a pair of white framed sunglass on top of his head, keeping his unruly strands out of his face as he was eyeing a couch, seemingly deep in his thoughts. You stopped in your tracks, seeing him in such a casual and everyday setting. For some reason, he seemed like a completely different person.

A woman was there with him and as you walked closer you could hear a fraction of their discussion.

“I don’t know, Gems. Do I need a couch this big?”

“Looks comfy and I like the color. It would also fit in the space just right, I think you should get the bigger one if you have the space for it,” the woman put her two cents in and you wondered who she could be. Girlfriend? Just a casual friend? Maybe fiancé? She did have a ring that could easily go as an engagement ring so you couldn’t tell for sure.

As you were about to walk past you suddenly took the courage to say hi.

“Hello, Professor Styles!” you greeted him with a warm smile and his eyes flickered over to you from the couch in question. One thing you always admired about him is that he never forgot the faces of his students and as he looked at you, you knew he recognized you even if he didn’t know your name specifically.

“Oh, hello,” he nodded in your way.

“I like the couch,” you commented before slowly moving on. “Have a nice rest of your summer!”

“You too, Y/N,” he called after you and it took you by surprise that he remembered your name. Your lecture he taught had almost over a hundred students in it and you weren’t the most active one to stand out that easily, yet he still remembered you more than you were expecting.

That small encounter kept you thinking about him for way longer than you probably should have, especially because you knew you’d have a lecture with him again in the upcoming semester. Your daydreams about him made their way back into your mind as you spent the last days of your summer mostly with your friends. It got you thinking that if you managed to get him to remember your name, maybe you would give one of your plans a go and shoot your shot. He wouldn’t be teaching you in your last semester so you wouldn’t have to face him after he rejects you.

And this is how you came up with your little scheme.

On your last Sunday evening before school starts, you, Nat and Eden sit in the floor of your living room, drinking some white wine as a way of saying goodbye to the carefree summer moments and getting back to the working days of being a senior at uni. Professor Styles came up completely randomly and you let it slip that you’ve just seen him recently at IKEA with a woman and it all led to you admitting that you’ll finally shoot your shot at the professor. Nat and Eden both did the same already, however their attempts were completely ignored and they always bugged you to give it a try yourself, being the only one in your group who hasn’t tried to seduce the professor yet.

“I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell me it’s stupid because I actually think it’ll be funny and a little bit genius,” you tell them before you start sharing the details on your plan.

“Just spill the beans already!” Eden pokes you before she reaches for the bottle and refills her glass.

“Okay, so you both know I took this psychology class last semester for extra credits, right?” The nod and you continue. “The teacher told us about this thing called classical conditioning or they call it pavlovian response too. The guy, Pavlov, did an experiment where he paired the feeding of dogs with a bell ring and after a certain amount of time the dogs started salivating at just the sound of the bell, because they remembered that it’s connected to food. The teacher said this is literally one of the easiest tricks to pull on people.”

“Oh, isn’t this one of the things Jim did on Dwight in The Office?” Nat asks furrowing her eyebrows.

“It is!” you nod, glad that they are understanding the base of your plan. “So, I’ve heard that Professor Styles loves strawberry flavored candies. I thought that I would bring some every day when I see him and offer him some. Slowly, he’ll pair the candy with the thought of me and he’ll get excited when he sees me because he’ll think I have candy for him and it will hopefully work the other way around and he’ll think of me when he is eating strawberry flavored candy that’s not from me.”

Your friends blink at you for a moment, processing what you just shared with them before Eden takes a huge sip of her drink.

“This is the most ridiculous but also the most genius thing I’ve ever heard,” she nods holding her glass up towards you.

“I can’t believe you will pull a psychological experiment on Professor Styles,” Nat shakes her head with a soft chuckle.

“It’s not a blunt way to get closer to him and if he accuses me of trying to flirt I can just say that I’ve been only sharing candy with him, I literally did nothing,” you point out, pretty proud of your solution to your deep fear of having to take his rejection publicly.

“If you get a Noble for this shit, make sure to thank us in your speech,” Eden laughs and you promise to do so when the big moment comes.

Monday morning you make a quick trip to Target and buy a big bag of strawberry flavored candies, probably enough to last for the whole semester, and then you make your way to campus. Following your first lecture you meet up with Eden who also signed up for Professor Styles’ lecture this semester, so the two of you make your way towards the lecture hall together.

“I really can’t believe you are doing this,” she chuckles when you get the candy ready as you near the room. The professor is always the first one in the lecture hall so you know you’ll find him there already.

“You can’t tell me it’s not a funny plan,” you smirk at her. And just as you walk in, you immediately spot the professor sitting at the desk at the front, going over the syllabus before the start. “Save a seat for me,” you tell Eden who just laughs and makes her way up the stairs along the desks.

Grabbing the pack of sweets from your bag you walk up to the professor, feeling confident with your plan. He lifts his head up when he notices your arrival and your eyes meet with his green ones.

“Hello, professor. Would you like some candy?” you simply ask with an innocent smile.

Professor Styles stares at you for a moment before his eyes move down to the candy in your hand, the opening of the bag facing him in a welcoming manner.

“I, uhh… what flavor?” he curiously asks and you can barely push down your smirk.

“Strawberry.”

“Oh. I’ll… take one, thank you,” he nods, hand reaching into the bag as he grabs just one single candy, unwrapping the package before he pops it into his mouth. “Thank you,” he nods again with a delightful smile.

“Of course. Did you buy the couch?” you ask, taking slow steps away from the desk as he keeps his eyes on you.

“I… did not. Bought another one,” he admits shortly and you know you’ve reached the limit. If you ask more, he’ll get suspicious, so you just nod smiling before walking up to the spot Eden has reserved for you. When you sit down, you catch the professor paying you one last glance before he returns to what he was previously doing.

“You are a genius, because now we can watch him suck on a fucking candy for the next few minutes,” Eden mumbles quietly, making you laugh.

“I knew this would be a good plan,” you sigh, satisfied with the work you’ve done. Now it’s just a matter of time.

Every Monday and Wednesday, you arrive with the same bag of candy to the lecture hall, walk up to Professor Styles and offer him one. And he always takes one. The first few times he seems hesitant when he spots you approaching him, but he slowly grows used to your tiny act of kindness that occurs every time you see him. On week three you expand the plan. You usually have lunch with Nat on Thursdays since you both have a break between one and two pm. The two of you try to take advantage of the warm early autumn days and sit under the pergola that’s near the building where Professor Styles’ office is as well. It’s mere coincidence, you only like that place because it’s close to the lecture hall you have to go to after lunch, but you notice that the professor emerges from Building C around one thirty, walking back to his office probably after one of his classes. The sidewalk runs directly next to the pergola so it gives you a chance to bring the candy out one more time every week. You nicely greet him when he is nearing the two of you and then hold out the bag, asking if he wants some. He always takes one and thanks you with a sweet smile that leaves you a tad bit blushed.

“I can’t fucking believe your plan is working,” Nat chuckles in disbelief on one occasion when the professor just disappeared in the building, probably happily unwrapping his candy of the day.

“It’s funny, innit?” you grin at her proudly.

Frankly, this is just a fun experiment for you. You don’t actually think that the professor will think of you differently even the slightest. You might be able to plant the thought of you in his head, but that doesn’t instantly mean that he’ll start fancying you and actually do something about it. It would be ridiculously naïve to think it’s going to be you who breaks through the wall that hundreds of women had already tried to knock down.

Week six is what brings the breakthrough. After long consideration and discussion with Nat and Eden, you decide to test if the experiment has been successful. You offer one last candy on Monday, but Wednesday brings the change. You go to lecture without candy. Well, you have it on you, but you decide not to ask him if he wants some.

Walking into the lecture hall, as always, he is already sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a book when you walk up to him with the intention of asking him a question on the paper that’s due next week.

“Professor Styles?” you softly speak up, catching his attention. “Can I have a question about the paper?”

“Of course,” he nods and you can’t tell just yet if he was expecting the candy or not.

“I was wondering if I can use a diagram to visualize my results at the end. I have a brilliant idea to summarize the data with one.”

“Sure, just make sure to give credit wherever it’s due, if you are using someone else’s work for the diagram.”

“Definitely,” you smile at him and wait a moment. That’s where you see the anticipation in his eyes.

His gaze flickers down to your hands and then to your bag where you always carry the candy and when his eyes meet yours again, you see him swallow hard.

He was expecting the candy. Not only expecting, but he started salivating when he saw you, thinking that he would get the candy from you as always.

“Is… that all?” he asks, the slightest hint of hope appearing in his tone, probably waiting for you to pull the bag of candy out of your bag and offer him one. But it’s not happening today.

“Yes, thank you very much,” you nod smiling widely before you turn around and walk away, a shocked and triumphant look appearing on your face once he can’t see it anymore and when Eden sees you, she gasps.

“He fucking expected the candy, didn’t he?!” she whispers at you in shock and you nod frantically, still not believing your plan worked.

“You should have seen the anticipation in his eyes, he really thought I was gonna offer him some!”

“Oh my God, this is hilarious!” Eden laughs covering her mouth as the lecture hall starts to fill up slowly.

Turning forward, you see that the professor is sitting behind his desk, the book that had his attention before your arrival is long forgotten in front of him, now he is staring ahead of him with slightly furrowed eyebrows, deep in his thoughts.

Is he thinking about you? Or why he was expecting candy from you?

You see him reach for his water bottle and he takes two big gulps probably to wash away his need for the candy before he narrows his eyes and at last they find you in the auditorium. You tilt your head to the side innocently smiling, as if you know absolutely nothing about anything. You keep eye-contact, forcing you not to be the one who breaks it and he is intimidating. You feel like he can read your mind as he stares at you and when he finally turns his gaze back at the book, you exhale sharply.

The lecture goes down just as usual and when the professor dismisses the class you decide to put the cherry to the top. Walking down between the desks you grab a candy from your bag and while the professor is talking to a girl who also had a question about the paper, you place the candy to his desk next to his book. He doesn’t see you walk out and you don’t see him when he finds it, but something is telling you he figured you out. No way a man as smart as him doesn’t realize what game you’ve been playing with him.

Sitting under the pergola on Thursday you are deep in discussion with Nat, helping her with a task sheet she has to turn in after lunch but she completely forgot about it. As the two of you are trying to do the seemingly endless sheet, you don’t even notice the professor walking from Building C, as always, but he spots you.

“No, I don’t think that’s even a thing, you can’t write that,” you tell Nat, but she shakes her head.

“I don’t care if it’s a thing, I just want to fill in the whole thing so the teacher doesn’t think I finished it in twenty minutes before class,” she mumbles, scribbling down her answer as you just chuckle at her.

Suddenly, you see a pair of dusty Vans appear in your sight and as your eyes move up, you are facing none other than Professor Styles, standing right in front of you, holding out his hand with his hand turned upwards, a cheeky smile tugging on his lips. His appearance takes you by surprise and for a moment you just dumbly stare down at his palm, then up at his eyes.

“Very smart. Pulling a pavlovian on me with my favorite candy,” he speaks up, dropping his hand as he cocks his head to the side. Nat looks up from her sheet with wide eyes as you stare at the professor with blushing cheeks.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, professor,” you tell him with a knowing smirk.

“Of course. You know, it took me a moment to realize yesterday, but I wanted to let you know that… I think it was clever.”

“If I knew anything about what you’re talking about… I would say thank you. But I stand up for my innocence.”

“Surely,” he chuckles softy. “Have a great rest of your week,” he then nods before turning around to walk away, but you quickly reach into your bag and grab a candy.

“Professor Styles!” you call out and he turns back just in time to catch the candy you throw in his way. He glances at it in his palm before his eyes snap up to you again, smirking at you shortly before he disappears in the building.

“Okay, call me stupid, but I could feel the sexual tension between the two of you,” Nat says as soon as the professor is out of sight.

“Don’t be silly, it was just… a joke and he liked it.”

“He called you clever, Y/N!”

“No, he called my trick clever.”

“But you came up with it so you’re clever too. Say whatever you want, but I actually think you have a shot at him.”

“I definitely don’t,” you laugh shaking your head and you genuinely believe it. Nat scoffs before she gets back to her sheet, but not without having one last thought about the situation.

“We’ll be laughing at how you brainwashed him into liking you when you’ll be dating for years, living together and all that shit.”

You’ve made some very questionable choices in your dating life prior. Like when you dated a boy in high school and let him take your virginity at the back of his mom’s minivan just to break up with your right after that, or when you briefly dated the guy you met at the mall, but it later turned out he was gay and he used you as his cover up in front of his family. But the worst decision of all was dating an egoistic forty years old loser who just freshly got divorced and went after you at some tacky bar you were at with your friends.

The time you spent dating Victor is way less than the time he has been bothering you, trying to make you go back to him when you’ve actually told him you don’t want anything to do with him anymore. You broke up with him just before you went home for the summer and he didn’t take it well, even drove up to your hometown and showed up at your parents’ house drunk, begging for you to take him back. He never stood a chance, not after that one time he slapped you across the face during a fight the two of you had. You tolerate a lot of things but not violence and you don’t believe him when he says it was just a onetime thing. There’s no guarantee he won’t hit you ever again and you are definitely not waiting around to see if he told you the truth.

On this particular late October evening you are searching through your whole room looking for a book you know you have, but can’t seem to find anywhere. It’s your holy bible about research methodology and you need it for your thesis work, but it seems like the small apartment has completely swallowed it.

“Didn’t you leave it at Victor’s? You were working on that long essay when you were dating him, saw you use the book all the time,” Eden tells you when you ask her if she’s seen it anywhere and then it clicks.

She is right, now you remember leaving the book at his once and you completely forgot to pick it up after things got nasty between the two of you.

“Damn it,” you growl in annoyance.

Not feeling like calling him, you send him a quick text, hoping he still has it and hasn’t burned it after one of your fights.

Y/N: Hey, I think I left my research methodology book at yours. You still have it?

Victor: I do.

Y/N: Cool, can I drop by to pick it up?

Victor: I’m leaving for work, you can come to the bar if you want it.

You sigh in defeat. Victor is a bartender at a place that’s all the way across town, takes almost an entire hour to get there, but you are left with no other choice.

Y/N: Okay, I’ll see you there.

The raining has finally stopped this morning so you feel better leaving the house than you would have if it was still pouring. You take the bus and travel across town, feeling anxious to see Victor again. Last time you met him he cursed you out and threw his phone at you, barely missing your head. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go near him again after that, but it seems like you can never get completely rid of him.

Students rarely come to this part of the town, it’s way too far from campus and has nothing to offer that can’t be found closer to the dormitories or the school’s buildings. It’s not entirely your scene either, the bars around here are liked by older generations, not by people your age, this is another reason why you don’t like coming around here.

The bar where Victor works is a place where they have different local bands perform every Friday and Saturday. It’s not a tacky nook with creepy dudes, they actually have prices on the higher end, not something you can necessarily afford with your part time job’s paycheck from the small accounting office near your apartment where you work as an assistant on your free afternoons.

Walking into the place you immediately spot Victor behind the bar and you take a deep breath before you walk up to him.

“Hey,” you call out for him, taking one of the stools along the bar.

“Hey. Long time no see.”

“Happens when you break up with someone,” you respond with a little spice and he frowns at your words. “Can you give me the book?”

“I’ll have a break in ten, can you wait for that or you have something extra urgent shit to do, as always?” You can tell he is still bitter from how things ended between the two of you, but you’ve learned not to care about it. His way of dealing with the breakup is not your responsibility, no matter how hard he is trying to prove it wrong.

You roll your eyes but nod, knowing well there’s no use to fight him. Ten minutes is not the end of the world. Busying yourself on your phone, you try to stay unnoticed and luckily, Victor can’t keep chatting with you, because customers keep coming up to him and ordering drinks. When he finally has his break he tells you to follow him to the back.

“So how have you been?” he asks as you walk down the hallway that leads to the small break room, there’s an office at the end and some kind of changing room you guess for the bands, along with a storage.

“Fine.”

“You really gonna be a bitter bitch and not talk to me?” he asks you, giving you a disgusted look, but you know it’s just the anger talking from him.

“Victor, I didn’t come here to talk, I just need my book!”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t answer my question.”

“I answered it! I’ve been fine, now give me the damn book!” you growl, losing your patience with him, but he is seemingly in the same shoes.

“When will you stop being a bitch and just drop this ridiculous act, Y/N? I’ve been after you for months yet you keep ignoring me!”

“Did it ever occur to you that I’m ignoring you because I don’t want anything to do with you? Victor, it’s been months, just… move the fuck on! Go cry to your ex-wife or something, I don’t care!”

You didn’t mean to snap, but he always brings the worst out of you. From the corner of your eyes you can see movement at the other end of the hallway where the changing room is, but you don’t get to pay much attention to it, because the next moment Victor grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! You ungrateful slut, I swear…”

There’s little you can do, he is twice as big as you are, his grip on your arm so strong there’s no doubt it will leave a mark. Your heart is racing as you try to pull yourself out of his hold, but he doesn’t even bat an eye at your attempt.

However, before he could drag you into the empty breakroom to do god knows what, he is stopped by a voice.

“Hey! Let her go!”

If you weren’t shocked enough at his violent reaction, now you are definitely think you’re going nuts, because it’s none other than Professor Styles who is now nearing you with a hard expression on his face, two other guys following right behind him and though none of them are bigger than Victor, he knows he can’t just start a fight with three men.

Your chest is heaving when the professor finally reaches you and Victor’s hold lets go of you, making you fall back a little.

“You perform here twice and think you’re some kind of rockstar?” Victor spats at the professor, but you’re a little lost in what’s really going on. Professor Styles gently grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him, eyes never leaving Victor’s burning gaze.

“You alright?” one of the other two men asks and you nod, not finding your voice to actually speak.

“Get the hell out of my sight before I call the police on you,” the professor answers in a calm yet threatening voice

Victor takes a second to himself, thinking about the choices he has before he turns around and disappears in the breakroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving you in complete shock about what just happened.

Professor Styles then turns around, his eyes soften at seeing how shaken you are and quite frankly, you feel like you are in a bad and quite weird dream.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks, clearly worried about you and you just shake your head no.

“I-I’m fine, I think,” you mumble out of breath.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” the guy who asked if you’re alright suggests and you nod in agreement, following them kind of blindly, the three of them keeping you in their little circle as you walk out to the bar and they don’t stop until you are out of the place in the cold night air. You slowly come back to reality and process that Professor Styles just saved you out of fucking nowhere from your abusive asshole ex. That’s what you call a plot twist.

You finally take a moment to look at the other two guys, they both look the same age as the professor, or maybe a little older, both of them are rocking some facial hair, the one that asked you seems a little more open while the other one quite reserved but friendly looking.

“What… What were you doing back there?” you ask, turning to face the professor. He clearly seems upset, but you’re not sure if it’s entirely because of what happened with Victor back then or because you are standing outside some random bar on a Saturday night, definitely crossing his personal boundaries he keeps so high at school.

“We played here tonight, was just about to leave when I saw you.”

“You have a band?” you ask, shocked at the detail.

“A pretty good one,” the talkative guy chuckles. “I’m Adam, nice to meet you. This is Mitch.”

You shake hands with them introducing yourself as well.

“Y/N is… my student,” the professor adds as if he is clearing the air for his bandmates, a kind of warning for them.

From the direction of the parking lot two women emerge, laughing on something as they walk up to the four of you, both of them eyeing you curiously.

“Hey boys, who is this pretty girl?”

“Sarah, Charlotte, this is Y/N, she is my student. Y/N, these are my other band mates, Sarah and Charlotte,” the professor introduces you as you shake hands with them quickly.

“I-I’m sorry I interrupted your time with your friends, professor,” you shyly apologize, feeling like a complete intruder all of a sudden with all his bandmates around you.

“Interrupt? Sweetheart, that dude was about to do some unforgivable things to you, don’t apologize for needing help,” Adam snorts. “You’re lucky we were there.”

“What? What happened?” Sarah asks in confusion.

“Just… my asshole ex got a little too violent when I didn’t want to chit-chat with him,” you admit with a defeated sigh.

“Oh shit, but are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you smile faintly, though you still can feel his grip on your upper arm. “I, um… I better get going, I guess. Thank you for… the saving,” you say, a little lost about what should be said in this situation.

“You’re leaving? We were just about to go to a much better place, why don’t you come with us, forget about your ex a little?” Charlotte offers and you catch the professor’s panicked look for a split second.

“I, um… I don’t think I should, but thank you.”

“Why shouldn’t you?” Sarah questions.

“Because I know how Professor Styles hates to mingle with students outside of lectures and I don’t want to cross any lines,” you truthfully admit. The professor furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t hate mingling with students,” he states.

“Well, you are surely not the most reachable professor on campus,” you chuckle lightly. “But it’s fine, I understand it. So I’ll just head home.”

“Come on, Harry. Let her tag along for just one drink!” Sarah begs and seemingly everyone would be happy to have you join for a little. The professor’s eyes meet yours, as if he is contemplating whether he should say yes or let you go home. When he finally speaks up you’re more surprised than when you realized it was him saving you from Victor.

“I guess you could use a drink after what happened in there,” he says, the tiniest smirk showing on his lips as your eyes shoot up.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, come on,” he nods and your little group heads down the street.

Turns out the place they were heading to was just two corners down, so they left all their stuff at the minivan at the parking lot for the time being. You slide into an empty booth, Adam and Mitch go to get the first round, so it’s just the three of you girls and the professor.

“So you’re in one of Harry’s lectures?” Charlotte asks with a warm smile.

“Yeah, for the second time, actually. Had him in first year, now it’s my fifth semester and I had no doubt I have to take his class if I have the chance.” You pay a glance at him, but he is staring at his hands on his lap, you can’t tell if it’s because he is uncomfortable with you there or if it’s something else.

“It’s so funny, because we’ve heard that he is known to be a good teacher but we never actually heard it from one of his students,” Sarah chuckles. “What’s he like?”

“Sarah, you enjoy talking about me when I’m very much present?” he scoffs, giving her a look, but she just shrugs innocently.

“Come on, I bet even you’re curious about what your students think of you. Now is your time to find it out!”

“I think Professor Styles knows very well that he is one of the best, if not the actual best,” you truthfully say and see him raise his eyebrows a little.

“What makes him so good?” Charlotte questions.

You glance at him again, as a way of asking for permission if you can answer. You definitely don’t want to make him even more uncomfortable by talking about him when he is right next to you. He looks into your eyes, and his expression tells you that he wants to hear your answer as well, but he quickly adds:

“You don’t have to answer, Y/N.”

“It’s not a secret,” you admit it with a smile. “Professor Styles’ lectures always leave you with a question to think about until next week, he is great at getting into your head without you even noticing. He explains the most complicated things in so simple ways, it should be taught,” you say with a soft chuckle. “I think his enormous knowledge about many different fields in science and just life in general is amusing, anyone can learn something from him, it’s guaranteed.”

“Wow, where is this academic genius side of yours when you’re around us, or we only get to see the dad joke version of you?” Sarah teases him and you can’t push down a laugh, imagining him cracking dad jokes feels so alien but still kind of fitting for him.

“That’s what you get when you’re a nosy little thing,” he retorts with a small smirk. He then turns to you, and as Sarah and Charlotte are laughing on something, he lowly tells you: “You can call me Harry outside of school. Feels weird that you call me professor when my friends are around.”

“You sure?”

He nods and you spot a small smile on his lips. He must be getting used to the feel of you being there, but you still don’t want to push his limits too much.

“Can I ask you something?” he questions, leaning back in his seat.

“Of course.”

“If your ex is this aggressive, why were you there with him?”

His question is surprising, you didn’t think he would ask you something personal, but you guess it’s a valid question after he just saved you from Victor.

“I wanted to get a book back that I left at his place. Didn’t even get to the point where he could have given it back,” you mumble under your breath.

“What book?”

“Just this… research methodology book, wanted it back for my thesis work, but I guess I’ll have to buy a new one,” you huff bitterly.

“Is it the one written by William Scott?”

“Y-Yeah, it is. You know it?” you ask, but then realize it’s a bit of a dumb question. He probably knows every academically important book you will ever come across.

“I actually have it myself,” he nods. Just then, Mitch and Adam return with the drinks and you thank them for the beer, already reaching for your money to pay, but Adam shakes his head.

“It’s on me, don’t worry.”

You watch as Mitch sits beside Sarah, curling an arm around her shoulders and though you couldn’t have guessed that they are a couple, seeing them like this it actually makes sense, they look cute together.

You take a sip from your beer, trying to join the conversation Sarah and Charlotte are having, when your attention is pulled back by Harry.

“I can… lend you the book, if you want.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ll just get a new one.”

“No, really. I think I even have two copies, I can give one to you.”

“I couldn’t ask you that, prof—I mean Harry.”

“You’re not asking,” he smiles at you softly. “I probably won’t need both, so why not put the extra into use?”

“Okay, but I’ll pay for it,” you insist, but Harry shakes his head.

“No need, one of them was a gift so I didn’t pay for it either.”

“Well… if you’re sure about it, I would love to have that extra copy, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So Y/N, what do you study exactly?” Adam questions, pulling you out of your little discussion with Harry.

“I’m majoring in anthropology, but I’ve been taking some psychology classes on the side just because I’m interested in the topics.”

“And what is Harry teaching you?”

“Had him for intro Sociology lecture first year, now I’m in his Methodology of Cultural Anthropology class.”

“All these subjects with their GY endings, I don’t know how you two put up with science on this level,” Sarah huffs in amusement.

“The names sometimes sound fancier than the subject itself,” you tell her smiling.

“But I bet you need to be quite smart to study these stuff on this level you are at.”

“Oh, it’s just a bachelorette degree, I wouldn’t say I’m that smart,” you chuckle shyly.

“She is totally toning it down,” Harry speaks up, catching everyone’s attention. “I know students tend to take my into Sociology class for just some extra credits so I always give them two options for the semester. They can either write a two pages long review of any article related to the topics talked about at lecture and get their strong C with the bare minimum, or actually participate and do a research of their own and turn in an at least seven pages long essay about their chosen topic. Y/N turned in an eleven pages long paper on the history of death sentences in the U.S. in the last fifty years and how society is thinking about it nowadays. It was easily one of the best works I’ve ever read and it was just an intro class.”

“You remember my essay?” you ask in complete shock.

“Of course. As I said, one of the bests I’ve read,” he nods confidently.

“So you’re like… on Harry’s smart level, actually?” Sarah asks, tilting her head to the side and you can feel yourself blushing.

You’ve always been said to be the smart kid at school, but you never thought it to be true yourself. In your book, you were just doing your absolute best, soaking in whatever knowledge was thrown in your way. You never actually understood how someone could just not study for an exam or not do an assignment, because you always felt like it was your duty to do the best you can. You thought yourself to be more of a hard-working student rather than a smart one.

“She is definitely a bright one,” Harry agrees, his eyes meeting yours as a small smile appears on his lips and you think that this is the biggest compliment you’ve ever gotten. “She actually tricked me with a psychological experiment and I didn’t even realize it,” he laughs and you can’t hold your smirk back.

“What? What did you do?” Charlotte asks, dying to know how you played Harry.

“Have you heard of the Pavlovian response?” you ask looking around and you can tell it rings a bell for all of them.

“The one with the dogs and the bell?” Mitch asks and you nod.

“Wait you did that on Harry?” Adam laughs with wide eyes and you just nod with a sly smile.

“I just offered him strawberry flavored candies every time I saw him. Took me six weeks to build up the response but he actually started expecting it whenever he saw me,” you tell them chuckling to yourself.

“And I only realized it when she stopped with the candy and I felt this massive feeling that something was missing,” Harry adds shaking his head with a soft laugh.

“Okay, that’s hilarious,” Sarah snorts clapping her hands together. “Y/N, I adore you, you’re brilliant!”

“It was just… an experiment,” you shrug shyly.

The night carries much faster than you realize. One drink turns into three and before you could realize, it’s already past midnight. Eden texts you, asking where you are since you said you’d just get the book and go home right away, but it’s been hours.

Y/N: Don’t freak out, but I’m at a bar with Prof. Styles and his friends. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow!

Eden: HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO FREAK OUT AFTER READING THIS???!?!

Y/N: Lol, chill. Nothing extra is happening.

Eden: It’s already extra that you’re out with him.

Realizing how late it is, you decide you better get going, since it’s a long way back home. When you tell the little group that you’re about to head out, they all agree that it’s time to part ways and leave, so you all slowly make your way back to the parking lot.

“Do you know where the bus stop is back?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, trying to spot where you should be heading.

“You want to go home by bus at this time?” Harry asks.

“Well, I surely won’t pay for a ride, I live almost an hour away from here.”

“An hour?” he frowns. “I’ll take you home, come on,” he tells you, heading towards the minivan.

“What? No need. The bus is fine,” you protest, but he shakes his head.

“You are not taking the bus at this hour, not under my watch,” he simply states and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Didn’t realize I was under your watch,” you tease him and it seems like your comment caught him off-guard. “Don’t piss your pants, I was just joking,” you tell him, and thought for a second you feel like you are being way too comfortable around him, his smile quickly smashes your doubts.

Sarah, Mitch and Charlotte all take an Uber since they live near each other and Adam is picked up by his wife, so when everyone is off to their own way, you and Harry get in the van and head to your place.

“How long have you had the band?” you ask, in need to break the silence that’s been weighing down on the two of you. “If you don’t mind me asking,” you add quickly when you see him.

“About four years. Used to have another one, but we parted ways.”

“And what do you do in the band?”

“I, uhh… Well I mostly sing but I also play the guitar.”

“You know, I’m not that surprised you can sing,” you chuckle to yourself sinking further down in your seat.

“How come?”

“You have a voice that’s great to listen to at lectures, makes sense that you can sing as well.”

You take a moment to look at his hand that’s gripping the steering wheel, he is the kind that drives with one hand on the wheel, the other one on the shifting gear. He makes it look so easy as he steers the wheel whenever he is turning a corner while his other one easily moves around the shifting gear, his tattoos are peeking from under his rolled up shirt sleeve. He catches you staring and you feel a blush burning on your cheeks as you turn your head to the other side. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that third beer…

“Am I really seen that rigid by the students?” he speaks up after a while and you turn back to face him.

“What do you mean?”

“You said I’m known about not mingling with students.”

“Well, you don’t mingle, do you? But it doesn’t mean you come off as rigid. More like… closed-off. Private.”

“I know I should be a little friendlier, but I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I think everyone gets it why you’re like that.”

“Do they?” he arches an eyebrow.

“Well, you’re obviously a ladies’ favorite, but it doesn’t sit well with you being a person of some sort of power. It’s clear that you don’t want anyone to get the wrong picture about you. I’ve seen how bluntly girls are flirting with you, some of them are quite scandalous if you ask me,” you huff to yourself. “I totally get it that you don’t want even just a rumor to spread about you.”

“Didn’t think I was that obvious,” he admits, running his tongue over his lips.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re still a highly fancied professor, in all means,” you tell him with a warm smile.

“Does this mean you also fancy me?” he suddenly questions and your lips part at his words. He quickly realizes how ambiguous he just sounded. “I mean, am I one of your favorites? Where do I stand in your chart of professors?”

You can’t tell for sure because of the lack of lighting, but you could have sworn there’s a light blush on his cheeks as he corrects himself. Because of this, you don’t know for sure if he really meant it academically. Either way, the answer is the same.

“You’re my favorite,” you confidently state and your eyes meet for a moment before he turns back to face the road.

The rest of the ride is pretty quiet, you keep giving him directions to your place until you finally arrive a little before one am.

“Well, thank you for the ride,” you smile at him, grabbing the door handle.

“See you on Monday,” he nods shortly and watches as you get out of the can.

“Yeah, see you, professor,” you smirk before shutting the door and walking up the stairs and disappearing in your building.

“Was that Professor Styles in the fucking minivan?!” Nat throws the question at you the moment you open the front door.

“Jesus, why are you still up?” you sigh, shutting the door and shimmying yourself out of your coat.

“Because we were waiting for you!” Eden rolls her eyes. “So, care to tell us what the fuck just happened?” The three of you get comfortable on the couch and you give them a quick rundown of your evening from meeting Victor through being saved by Harry right to him offering to drive you home and they listen to you with wide eyes in complete shock that you just spent your entire evening with the most handsome professor on campus who also happens to be the most private as well.

“If I didn’t see him sitting in that van with my own eyes I would straight up think you’re lying, but I saw his tattooed hand over the windshield,” Nat gasps, processing the story.

“I know, I still feel like it didn’t happen, but it did.”

“And what is he like around his friends? What are his friends like?” Eden questions, hugging her knees to her chest.

“He is pretty much just like in lecture, just jokes a little more and he has a looser vocab. His friends are hilarious, I really got along with Sarah.”

“I know you still think it won’t happen, but I actually think you have a shot at him, Y/N,” Eden points it out and you just chuckle.

“Why, because he saved me from my douche ex?”

“No, because he let you stay for the night with him and his friends. This is literally the first ever time a student hung out with him.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Harry is a reserved and private person—“

“Harry?!” they gasp at the same time.

“You are now just casually calling him Harry?” Nat asks with ogling eyes.

“Well, yes, he asked me to, because it felt weird that I was calling him Professor Styles with his friends around.”

“Okay, I’m giving it… let’s say, he seems to be moving pretty slow, but y’all will be fucking in about six months,” Nat bluntly tells you and it makes you laugh.

“Oh, sure, whatever. I’m gonna shower and head to bed, you two don’t get too crazy with your fairytales,” you wave at them before disappearing in the bathroom.

The rest of the weekend goes by uneventfully, outside of the pathetic attempt from Victor to get you to talk to him, but you’ve had enough of him for a life so you finally block his number and hope you won’t ever see him again.

Both you and Eden oversleep on Monday morning, skipping your early morning lecture and already being late for Harry’s class as well, so you barely make it to Harry’s class in time, just sprinting up the rows, flopping down to your usual seats when Harry starts the lecture. It all goes as usual as if nothing really happened during the weekend, Harry doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Glancing over at his desk you spot the book he promised you and you can’t hold your smile back. Still grinning, your eyes accidentally meet with his gaze and he stops for a heartbeat as if he is questioning why you are so smiley, but you just shake your head and he carries on before anyone could suspect a thing.

“I gotta run, my favorite TA is having his office hours now and I have a few questions for him. See you at home?” Eden asks once the lecture is over and you are getting ready to leave.

“Sure, have a good day!” you call after her and she sings a ‘you too!’ before running out of the room.

You pack up and head down between the rows, Harry spotting you right away and you go up to him without him even asking you to.

“Hey, sorry we were a little late to class this morning,” you tell him and he just shakes his head kindly.

“No worries. How… is your arm?” He furrows his eyebrows, his gaze wandering down to your forearm where Victor grabbed you on Saturday.

“Oh, it’s fine. I just have a little bruise,” you shrug, because it really isn’t that big deal, but you can tell Harry is still outraged by what happened.

“M’sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. Would be worse if you weren’t there,” you smile at him kindly and he nods to himself before turning to his desk.

“I, uhh, I brought the book we talked about,” he shyly says grabbing it from the desk. As people are exiting the room you can feel the glares on yourself, most of them are probably trying to figure out why Harry is talking to you for so long, but you don’t pay much attention to them as you take the book he hands you.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for it?”

“No need, keep it, it’s yours,” he shakes his head with a small smile.

“Thank you then.” You slide the book into your bag before looking back up at him. “Well, I’ll see you on Wednesday, professor,” you smile warmly before heading out.

“See you!” he calls after you before you close the door behind you.

The week carries on as usual, you are working on papers that needs to be turned in before the fall break so you spend some extra time at the library, using every bit of free time you have so you finish everything on time.

Things go back to kind of normal with Harry, he greets you in the mornings when you walk into the lecture hall and other than the warm smile he occasionally gives you, nothing has changed.

Friday however brings a surprise, but not from Harry. You’re sitting at work in the afternoon, typing away on your computer, filling in some sheets when you get a notification on your phone from Instagram.

Sarah Jones is now following you!

You tap on her profile but see that it’s private so without a second thought you request following. Luckily, she approves you only a few seconds later and you gain access to her posts, quite a few of them featuring Harry on them.

Photos of birthdays, weekend getaways, band practices and performances, Harry makes a lot of appearances on her feed and you find yourself scrolling all the way down until you reach the first few posts from 2016. Just as you are about to leave her profile you get a message from her.

Sarah: Hey Y/N! Charlotte and I’ve been talking about you recently, loved having you with us last Saturday! Want to grab a drink with the two of us this weekend?

Y/N: Would love to, but I’m not sure Harry would like the idea…

Sarah: He won’t be there and besides, who is he to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with?

She is right. You enjoyed spending time with them as well and Harry has little to no word in if you want to meet up with his friends or not. This invitation has no connection to him being your professor.

Y/N: Alright, I’m down!

 This is how your friendship with Sarah and Charlotte starts. You meet up with them on Saturday and have an amazing time, they are definitely fun people to spend time with and though at first you feel hesitant to get closer to them, you soon forget about your doubts and just enjoy your time with them.

Your little girls night goes so well that they invite you out for dinner on Wednesday with Mitch joining the little trio. You learn that he is a quiet but hilarious guy, he and Sarah make a great couple, you think.

“We have a gig this Saturday at Green Light, want to come?” Charlotte asks at the end of the dinner.

“Okay, I really don’t think Harry would be a fan of that idea,” you point out, feeling like it’s surely over the lines. He still doesn’t know about you meeting some of his friends without him and you’re not sure how he would react if he did.

“Harry can fuck off, not everything is about him. We are inviting you as our friends, he just happens to be in the band as well,” Sarah rolls her eyes, clearly not as bothered by the situation as you are.

“I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“He is a big boy, he’ll get himself over it, don’t worry. So, are you coming?”

“I guess, alright,” you nod with a soft chuckle.

 Next week you contemplate telling Harry that Sarah invited you out for their gig, but at last you decide against it, something is telling you he would try to talk you down and now you’re pretty hyped to see them perform. So you keep quiet and just brace yourself for the worst when Saturday comes.

You don’t overdress for the occasion, decide to wear some light washed mom jeans and a simple sweater tucked into it, a casual look for a night out.

Even when you’re on your way to the place you are having second guesses whether it’s a good idea or not, but you tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal and if Harry flips, you’ll just tell him you came for Sarah and Charlotte.

As you get off the bus and walk towards the place, you immediately spot the little group of three next to Harry’s minivan, Sarah waving in your way as you become visible in the streetlights.

“There she is!” she beams happily and you just chuckle at her.

Harry is standing with his back facing your way but seeing Sarah’s reaction he turns around and you swear for a moment you think he is about to faint when he spots you.

“Hey everyone,” you smile as Sarah pulls you into a hug and Charlotte does the same.

“Hey, if it isn’t our little trouble seeker!” Adam teases you and you just roll your eyes at him before shyly glancing at Harry who is standing on your left, awfully quiet and deep in his thoughts since your arrival. He feels your eyes on him and his gaze meets yours and just by one look you can tell he is pissed.

Just as you thought.

The group chats a little longer outside before Adam suggests they head inside and get ready for their start and you are just about to follow them, but Harry keeps you back.

“Y/N, can we have a word?”

Staying back you nod, hiding your hands in your coat’s pockets as you look at him, lips curled into your mouth.

“What are you doing here?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together and he looks so damn intimidating, the neon lights from the front of the building tinting part of his face green, but you think red would suit him better with this look.

“I… came to see the band playing, what do you mean?”

“Is this your sneaky way of trying to come after me? Because I thought we had a very clear discussion about my thoughts regarding situations like this and you seemed to understand it.”

He comes off way angrier than you think he should be. Yes, it might be uncomfortable for him to see you here, but the tone he just hit is way too harsh for your liking and professor or not, you are not letting anyone talk to you like that when it’s completely not relevant.

“Okay, calm down. First of all, I was invited here.”

“By who?” he spats.

“Sarah and Charlotte, we met last weekend and had dinner this week as well. Had a great time and they asked me to come tonight as well, so get off of your high horse, I’m not here for you.” You can see the change on his face as the information sinks in and he realizes he accused you wrongly, but you’re not quite done with him. “But if I was here to see you, why does that bother you so much? You can’t avoid meeting students every minute when you’re off-campus. If I came here because of you, it shouldn’t affect you this much if you weren’t worried about something else than me just being here,” you point out and he furrows his eyebrows at you. “If I didn’t know better I would think you’re afraid to be around me because you actually like me, huh!” you tell him with an innocent yet suggesting look. His eyes widen and the confidence in himself quickly vanishes from him, replaced by anxiety and nervous looks as he realizes the meaning behind your words.

“I-I, that’s not—I’m not—“

“Take a breath before you pass out, Harry,” you sigh, dropping the hard act. “I didn’t come here for you and if you want to know I actually thought a lot about canceling because of you. But I genuinely like spending time with Sarah and Charlotte so I’m here as their friend.”

Harry stares back at you, completely defeated, regret filling his green eyes. You feel a little guilty for snapping so hard at him, after all you do understand his point of view, but you genuinely don’t think it’s as big of a deal as he makes it to be.

“I-I’m…”

“It’s fine, okay? Let’s just… move past it, alright?” you suggest and he nods as the two of you head inside, joining the rest of the group.

You stay behind while they are waiting for their time to perform, keeping some distance from Harry so he can’t accuse you again, but you occasionally look his way, catching him already looking at you, but you just can’t tell what could be possibly going on in his head. When it’s time for them to go on stage, you go out to the actual bar area and sit by the counter, not too much at the front but close enough to see everything that happens on the stage.

When they start playing you can’t take your eyes off Harry. His energy behind the microphone just knocks you off the stool and you watch him completely mesmerized as if he has put a spell on you. It feels like he turns into an entirely different person on stage, nothing like the man you see at lectures every Monday and Wednesday. He sings perfectly on key, putting some extra charm into the songs with his little additional tunes whenever he is not singing a line.

But what makes it absolutely impossible to look away from him is because he keeps staring at you, eyes locking with yours for way too long every time he catches your gaze. You try to ignore it, but it’s quite hard when his eyes are basically burning into you, it leaves you breathless.

Once the concert is over you order yourself two tequila shots quickly, because something is telling you that you’ll need the boosting if you want to face Harry after his little performance.

But for your surprise, when you join the band again and get near him, nothing really happens. It seems like Harry has come to peace with your presence in his little group of friends and he actually treats you like you’re part of the circle.

The six of you occupy a table at the back of the bar to spend there the rest of the evening and it’s all good, it seems. A harmless night out with a bunch of friends, nothing extra. Harry actually strikes up conversations with you involved and you feel like you’ve overcome a banter finally.

“Do you need a ride home?” Harry asks at the end of the night when everyone is about to head home.

“Only if it’s fine by you.”

“Wouldn’t offer it if it wasn’t,” he smiles shortly before the two of you say goodbye to the rest of the group and head to his van that was previously loaded with their stuff.

The ride back to your place is now much shorter, it takes less than ten minutes to arrive and you are just about to say goodbye when he speaks up.

“I want to apologize for the way I reacted to your arrival earlier tonight. It was… unnecessary.”

“It’s fine, I’m sorry for what I said after that too.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he shakes his head, staring down at his hands in his lap.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you shouldn’t be sorry for saying something that’s true.”

It feels like all air is knocked out of you as his words process and you stare at him with parted lips and raised eyebrows. When he finally looks up at you, he looks so lost and tortured, you feel the urge to hug him, but you stay still as he continues talking.

“I got mad because I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very… confusing for me. And this is why I’m gonna be very straightforward with you now. I can tell Sarah and Charlotte like you a lot and they are stubborn, they won’t see the situation from my point of view and I’m no one to tell you if you can hang out with us or not. But what I can most certainly tell you is that nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N. You are very much welcomed to spend more time with us, but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”

For a couple of moments you’re only able to stare back at him, blinking completely frozen at his sudden confession. You could tell tonight has been a turning point of some kind, but you were not expecting this speech from him at all and now you are at a complete loss of words. It takes some time before you actually find your voice.

“Okay,” is all you can breathe out, nothing more, but it’s pretty much all you have to tell him. You won’t go against his will and force him to do something he doesn’t want. He deserves the respect.

He nods shortly, seemingly still very torn about the situation and you figure it’s better if you just leave now.

“Thank you for the ride,” you quietly tell him opening the door. “Good night.”

“Good night, Y/N,” you hear him before you shut the door and walk into your building, feeling like you’ve been just hit by a pile of bricks.

Unlike the last time when Harry brought you home, Nat and Eden are not waiting for you in the living room. Nat is probably already asleep and Eden went out for a date earlier and she hasn’t been back. You don’t bother to turn the lights on as you walk inside, just kick your boots off and hang your coat before collapsing onto the couch, just staring into the darkness, Harry’s words repeating in your head again and again.

“… I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very confusing for me.”

“… nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N.”

“… but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”

Harry, your professor, The Harry Styles admitted that he likes you but also told you pretty forward that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you. It still feels like a fever dream and you’re not sure how you are feeling about it just yet. Hanging out with him was already quite overwhelming, but you were not expecting this confession from him at all.

What are you supposed to do with this information? If he is so set on not taking any further steps, why did he even share it with you? He could have just easily keep his thoughts and feelings to himself and get away with it without you ever figuring it out. It doesn’t make sense.

For the first time in your life, something Harry Styles said doesn’t make sense. That’s new.

Following Harry’s confession you truly have no idea what to do, so you just go with the flow. He seemingly stays the same when it comes to you, friendly, but still keeping his distance. Nothing changes in the lecture hall, he just occasionally asks if you’re alright and you are guessing he only wants to know if you are having any trouble with Victor, but you haven’t even heard from him since you’ve blocked his number and you hope it’s going to stay like that.

You meet up with him and the band a few times outside of school and it’s not necessarily awkward, but you can tell he is keeping his distance from you, he never sits next to you or has one-on-one conversations with you, only if it’s necessary. The only time he dares to be alone with you is when he sometimes offers you to drive you home. You usually say no at first, but he insists, so you end up sitting in silence in the car until you arrive home, say goodbye and end of story.

No one in school even suspects that you’ve made your way into Harry’s group of friends, only Nat and Eden knows about it but they swore to keep it a secret, but you didn’t tell them about Harry’s confession. Whatever it is that’s happening between you and Harry, you would never put him into a situation he is trying to avoid so badly. You sit in his classes like everyone else, but while all the other girls are drooling over him, trying to get just slightly closer to him in any way possible, you sit in silence and think about the precious times when you get to see him outside of school.

Even with him being so distant towards you, you can’t help but slowly start falling for him. He doesn’t have to talk to you or be direct to you, it’s enough that you see him as himself, you see him with his friends, how he acts whenever he is not teaching, standing on the podium. And he is an amazing person, there’s no doubt about that.

The semester is gradually moving forward, once you get back from fall break, you basically move into the library, studying for your exams and finishing up all your papers. December arrives pretty fast and before you realize, the whole town is decorated with lights and Christmas trees everywhere, the shops are trying to lure customers in with all the sales and the Christmas shopping officially starts.

One weekend, when there’s only two weeks left of school before everyone heads home for the holidays, you and Nat go for a shopping trip, trying to buy every gift in time so you don’t have to worry about that at least last minute.

Wandering around the mall you naturally take a trip to the bookstore, always ready to buy something new to read. Nat dives into the cooking books wanting to get one for her mother while you’re just aimlessly looking through the shelves. As your eyes are running through the titles in the psychology department, you stop at one particular book, pulling it off the shelf as you can’t help but smile to yourself.

The secrets of Classical Conditioning.

You flip through the pages and though it doesn’t seem to be a groundbreaking work, it’s just explaining Pavlov’s experiment and further uses of it, you still decide to buy it.

That evening you sit at your desk, the book open in front of you, a pen next to it as you try to think of something to write into it. At first you just wanted to give it to Harry as it is, but you figured it would be a nice gesture to write a few words into it he could always read when he opens the book. After some consideration, you finally grab the pen and start writing.

-

Dear Harry,

I will always think of you whenever I hear of Mr. Ivan Petrovics Pavlov or Classical Conditioning. Thank you for another amazing semester and I’m happy I got to see you without standing on a podium. You are an amazing man, never change.

Happy holidays,

Y/N

-

Last week of school, you go to the Wednesday lecture, the last one of the semester with the book sitting in your bag. All through the 90 minutes class as Harry is having an open discussion about the lecture with the students, you keep debating whether you should give him the book or not. When the lecture is over and Harry wishes everyone happy holidays, you grab it from your bag and holding it to your chest you wait until there’s only a few people in the room. Eden has already left to hand in a paper so you walk down the rows on your own, eyes on the man behind his desk who is now packing up his papers and notes, getting ready to leave.

“Harry?” you faintly speak his name, grabbing his attention as he looks up at you from behind the desk. You glance down at the book in your hands and before you could change your mind, you place it down in front of him. “This is… for you.”

His gaze wanders down to the book, then back at you as he stares at you in awe, obviously surprised by the gesture.

“What’s this for?”

“Christmas gift?” you answer unsurely with a nervous chuckle. “I just saw it at the store and… thought of you.”

“Y/N, I can’t—“

“Yes you can and you will,” you roll your eyes at him, tired of hearing all these negations from him. He can’t, he won’t, he shouldn’t… for once, he definitely will if it’s on you. “Take it as my payment for the book you gave me.”

His eyes soften at you before he looks down at the book again, reading the title before he chuckles to himself.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he then finally says, accepting that you won’t let him return the gift under any circumstances.

“Have a nice Christmas, Harry,” you smile at him shyly, hands holding onto the strap of your bag as you start walking away.

“You too,” he faintly says and turning around you start walking, but then he stops you. “Y/N, wait!”

You stop in your track and face him curiously. He seems hesitant, stepping away from the desk, walking closer to you but still keeping some distance between the two of you.

“Do you… have plans for New Year’s Eve?”

“I, uhh—No, not yet.”

“If you happen to be back in town by then… Sarah is having this little get together. I have a feeling she already invited you, but if you said no because of me, I want you to know that it’s fine by me. Would be nice if you could come.”

He is right, Sarah did invite you over, but you kindly declined thinking Harry wouldn’t appreciate if you spent it with them. You wanted to give him a breather, have a night with his friends without having to avoid you all the time, but it seems like the situation has changed for him.

“You don’t have to invite me just because I gave you a gift, Harry.”

“It’s not about that,” he shakes his head softly. “I can tell you are getting along well with Sarah and all the others. I want you to know that I would never stand in the way and you are very much welcomed at any and all events.”

He seems and sounds genuine, you don’t see any sign of him just saying it because Sarah asked him to or something. No, this definitely came from him.

“Okay, I’ll… think about it,” you tell him with a warm smile. “See you around,” you wave at him before walking out of the room.

You don’t get to see his reaction to the words you wrote into the book and for a while, you’re not even sure he saw it. Maybe he took it home and put it on his shelf without even having a look into it, but two days later, when you’re already packing, getting ready to go home for Christmas, you get a notification that at first confuses you.

Breakfast is now following you!

You open Instagram with furrowed eyebrows as you go to the profile that just followed you. It’s a small account and private, of course and you almost close it thinking it’s just someone random when you see that it’s followed by both Sarah and Charlotte.

Could this be Harry’s profile?

The username is colazione8, it doesn’t give away much but now that you are thinking about it, it’s perfect if he wanted to stay unnoticed by his students that surely can use Instagram way better than him.

You tap on the follow request button and anxiously wait for an approval, hoping that the person behind the account is still online. You wait and wait, slowly losing hope but then the notification finally arrives. Your request has been approved.

You tap on the profile vigorously and three pictures appear in front of you. One is a picture of some random building, the first ever posted is a plate of nicely served breakfast of some sort and then there’s one that features the person you were desperately hoping to see.

It’s a picture of Harry sitting at a big dining table, a glass of wine in front of him as he is squinting his eyes towards the camera. You zoom into the picture just to make sure it’s him, but his features are clearer than daylight, it really is Harry that just followed you.

You’re still stalking his very private and not too eventful profile when you get a message from him, making your heart skip a beat.

Harry: Hey! Just wanted to thank you again for the gift, it’s really thoughtful. Read what you wrote in it… thank you, Y/N.

Y/N: I meant every word. Thank you for everything you did this semester!

It takes a few minutes for a response to arrive from him.

Harry: Are you already on your way home?

Y/N: Not yet, leaving tomorrow morning.

Harry: If I drop by your place in 20, can you come down for a sec?

Y/N: Sure!

Though your response seemed totally cool, you started panicking right away. What does this mean? Why is he coming here? Are you in trouble? You couldn’t be, you didn’t do anything wrong.

You quickly change out of your worn-out sweats and stained shirt, putting on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, not wanting to see him looking like a total wreck. You sit on your bed, anxiously checking your phone every ten seconds to see if he has messaged you and those twenty minutes never seem to pass.

Then your phone finally chimes again.

Harry: I’m here.

Y/N: Be there in a sec.

You jump into a pair of trainers and grabbing your keys from the little sidetable you have in the hallway you storm out of the apartment, running down the stairs. As you walk out you stop in your track for a second, for some reason you were expecting the minivan, but this time, it’s a black Range Rover that’s parked in front of your building and Harry emerges from it the moment you step outside.

“Hey!” he smiles at you, shutting the door before he jogs around and you notice the little gift bag in his hands.

“Harry, is this what I think it is? Because you shouldn’t have, really,” you tell him right away as he stands in front of you, glancing down at the little bag in his hands.

“What? So you are allowed to give me a gift, but I’m not allowed to do the same?” he asks with a cheeky smile.

“But you already gave me one!”

“That wasn’t a real gift, so no,” he shakes his head, too stubborn to let it go. So instead, he nervously glances down at the little bag before handing it to you. “Here. Happy Christmas. But you can only open it when I’m gone, alright?”

“Why?”

“Just… please,” he breathes out and you not, keeping your curious hands to yourself.

“Alright. Well, thank you, Harry.”

“Sure. Um, have a great winter break and… I’ll see you around,” he smiles, walking around the car back to the side of the driving seat.

“You too, Harry. See you!”

You see him drive away as you walk back into the building, basically running up the stairs to your apartment, dying to see what’s in the little bag. Once you are locked in the safe haven of your room, you throw yourself to the bed and reach into the bag, finding a small box. One that’s usually used for jewelry. You pull it out with shaky fingers and take a deep breath before opening it.

Inside sits the cutest little silver ring you’ve literally ever seen. It’s thin and very detailed, tiny little strawberries lining next to each other and that’s the whole ring. Just the little strawberries, but it’s still the cutest you’ve ever seen. You put it on and it fits perfectly on your ring finger, holding up your hand you take a good look at how it sits on your finger. You’re in love with it.

Rolling to your back on the bed you stare up at the ceiling with a heavy heart aching for a man you know will never be yours, but you just can’t help it. The heart wants what it wants, right?

Reaching for your phone you type him a quick message

Y/N: Harry, thank you so much! It’s beautiful! But you shouldn’t have bought me anything!

Harry: I’m glad you like it :)

Y/N: I love it.

He doesn’t respond, just likes your message.

Christmas is always the same, especially because your family just never had those juicy dramas that could ruin any family events. Holidays have always been quiet and loving, pretty predictable. It’s good to be home again and spend quality time with your loved one, though your mind keeps wandering to a particular someone.

Sarah mentioned that Harry has traveled home to his mom and sister and from time to time you catch yourself thinking about what he could be possibly doing at the moment.

The only interaction between the two of you is when you post a photo with your sister and brother at Christmas dinner and he likes the photo, but nothing more. He doesn’t post or add to his story so you are left with your own elaborate fantasies of what he could possiblybe doing at home.

Sarah convinces you to spend the New Year’s Eve at hers and you are accepting the invitation a lot easier now that Harry has told you he is fine with you joining.

Just one day before the 31st you get back to your apartment and spend the second to last night of the year spiraling about the whole situation with Harry. Where are you two standing as of right now? Was his gift a gesture with a deeper meaning behind it?

You can’t step over the fact that you are not his student anymore. He has officially graded you and you’ve received your credits for his class, the ties are off, but he situation might still be risky and you doubt Harry is willing to change his mind about what he told you earlier. He made it clear that nothing will ever happen between the two of you, however you can’t help but feel a little hopeful that the new semester might bring a change into that.

After two hours spent in front of your closet and at least three mental breakdowns you finally decide to wear a black turtleneck dress which is just the perfect mixture of modest and sexy at the same time. You feel anxious to see Harry again, not sure how to act around him following your little gift exchange. There’s a chance he’ll just shut himself off once again and avoid you all night, you can’t tell.

Sarah’s place is already buzzing by the time you arrive, several guests are lounging in the living room and kitchen, some soft music is playing and it appears that everyone is enjoying the evening so far, judging from the laughter you hear from time to time.

“I’m so glad you came!” Sarah envelopes in a tight hug when you arrive.

“Thank you for inviting me. Here, brought some snacks,” you hand her the grocery bag you picked up on your way, not wanting to arrive empty-handed.

“Oh, you are an angel, some on in, make yourself home, take whatever you want to eat or drink!” she gestures around before bringing the bag into the kitchen.

The cozy home is already filled with a lot of people you don’t know, but you also spot Charlotte and Mitch right away so you take the safe spot in their little circle. You try your best to stay present in the conversation but you keep glancing around, looking for one particular person.

And then you finally see him. Harry emerges from the little hallway that leads to the bedroom and bathroom with Adam, seemingly deep in conversation as he nurses a beer in his hand. His checkered slacks and vintage printed t-shirt makes him appear so casual, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t even guess that he is actually a professor.

Harry laughs at something Adam just told him and his eyes glide around the room until they find you standing near the kitchen. He stops in his track, gaze running down your figure before it returns to your eyes and he seems to be in awe, like he doesn’t entirely believe it’s you he is seeing even though he knew you’d be coming. There’s nothing you want more than to run across the room and throw yourself into his arms. You spent way too much time thinking about him during Christmas and seeing him in the flesh now is a mixture of feelings you can’t really describe just now.

Neither of you leaves the conversation you are in the middle, but you keep glancing towards each other. You’re nervously moving the strawberry ring around your finger, feeling his burning gaze on your figure all the time. You haven’t taken it down since he has given it to you, it partially made it harder for you to stop thinking about him, because the jewelry was quite a loud reminder every time you glanced down at your hands.

Two drinks later your sister calls you, as always she wants to say happy new year before the lines get hectic at midnight, so you move out to the small balcony facing the street as you talk to your sister. The spicy night air feels amazing on your heated up skin, the turtleneck dress was a good choice, but it’s definitely getting hotter with each drink, especially with Harry’s lingering eyes as well. When you end the call you decide to stay outside a little longer, take a few moments to yourself.

You jump a little when you hear the sliding door open and you’re surprised to see Harry walk out.

“Hey, thought you might need this,” he smiles softly, holding a blanket in his hands.

“Oh, thank you,” you mumble and let him wrap it around your shoulders. It provides just enough heat that your lips are not shaking anymore from the cold.

“What are you doing out here alone? Not enjoying the evening?”

“I am, I was just on the phone with my sister.”

“She’s older than you, right?” he asks and you tilt your head a little looking at him.

“How do you know that?”

“I, uhh… You have a lot of pictures with her on your Instagram,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.

“Have you been stalking my profile?” you tease him, but he clearly takes it way more serious than you intended it to be.

“No, I swear it’s not like that, I just—“ he stammers but you cut him off placing a hand on his arms that are crossed over his chest.

“Harry, I was just teasing you. It’s fine,” you assure him, giving him a gentle squeeze before you are about to pull your hand back, but his hold stops you. He takes your hand in his, gently bringing it closer to his face as he examines the ring sitting on your finger.

“You’re wearing it,” he breathes out, a small cloud emitting from his pink lips as his thumb softly runs over the ring.

“Of course. I told you I love it.”

You can’t ignore the shiver that runs down your spine at the feeling of his warm palm against yours, his thumb delicately running over not just the ring, but down your finger as well before he lets go of your hand. You already miss his touch.

“So, how was Christmas?” he asks clearing his throat.

“Good, nothing extra. What about yours?”

“Same, went home to the family.”

“Do you often visit them?”

“Not as often as I would want to, but I’m trying to go every couple of months.” Harry turns towards the street, eyes running along the not too busy road that stretches past Sarah’s building. His hand comes up to the railing, fingers slightly drumming on it. “How come you didn’t bring anyone tonight?”

“Well, my roommates are still home and I also didn’t think you’d like the idea to have another student of yours around.”

“Right, yeah,” he nods, but you can tell something else is still on his mind. “So… no boyfriend to bring?”

You give him a puzzled look. Is this his way of asking if you are seeing anyone at the moment? Because if it is, it’s kind of ridiculous.

“No, not really. I guess you can say I’m not looking for one actively.”

“How come?” he asks with raised eyebrows, his body turning towards you as he leans against the railing. You give him a ‘really?’ look. You think about getting a little sassy and teasing with him, but then decide to just be straightforward instead.

“Because I’m kind of into my Methodology of Cultural Anthropology professor.”

Harry’s lips part as his eyes pierce into yours and for a moment you really think that he is about to flip, tell me how dare you say such thing to him and curse you out, but a second passes and his gaze softens as he lets out a shaky breath.

“Y/N…”

“What? I just answered your question,” you innocently shrug, looking away from him. Despite this long and weird game the two of have been playing these past months, this is the first time you openly admitted that you have a thing for him.

“You know how complicated it is and I told you that nothing can happen.” He shakes his head in defeat, a hint of disappointment in his tone, but it just grinds your gears.

“What, so you can ask about my dating life but I can’t say that I’m into you? How is that fair?”

“That’s not the same.”

“Well I think it is. Both are highly inappropriate to bring up in our situation, don’t you think? Yet you’re trying to put all the blame on me.”

“Alright, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just… forget about it. I really don’t want to fight with you.”

“Because you’re afraid I might actually win?” you sassily reply, crossing your arms on your chest.

“I’m just trying to do the right thing, okay? Would you… let me?”

“If you haven’t realized it yet, I’m trying really hard to stay in my lane, but you’re not making it any easier.”

“I’m trying too, okay?” he growls, clearly losing his calmness at this point. “I’m really fucking trying, Y/N, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!”

“You’re the one making it hard!”

“It’s not my fucking fault I can’t stop thinking about you!”

“Well it’s not my fault either!” you snap at him, both of you raising your voice, the rest of the party oblivious about the screaming match the two of you are having on the balcony. “If you’re so set on not letting anything happen, why do you come to me and act the opposite?”

“The opposite?!”

“Yes! It’s not quite appropriate to gift your student with a ring or ask them about their dating life. Or is it all new information to you?”

“You started with the gifting!”

“So what? You could have just left it there, but you didn’t. It’s not that it didn’t make me happy, but don’t try to put all the blame on me for saying something when you’re already crossing the lines.”

Harry stares at you with a hard look and you’d pay great amounts to actually read his thoughts at this moment. His jaw clenches as he exhales sharply, eyes turning away from you, as if he couldn’t even bear to look at you.

“Make up your fucking mind,” you growl under your breath as you push your way past him and walk inside before he could get a word out.

For a well-respected, educated and smart man, Harry can act pretty fucking stupid, you think. He is not being fair and you will not apologize for anything you’ve said. If he doesn’t want anything to do with you, he needs to stay in his lane and not dance on the line, poking the sleeping lion. He doesn’t get to fuck around and then put all the blame on you, that’s just not how it works and he needs to learn that.

In the last hour that’s left until midnight you mingle with the guests and try to keep your thoughts of Harry at bay, though it’s quite the challenge since he lingers around you, keeping his eyes on you all the time, as if he is trying to piss you off or something, but you’re determined to be a mature adult and keep your composure.

You’re getting tired of this game and you’re not sure anymore if you are willing to wait around until Harry makes his mind up. Not when he doesn’t keep his own rules at least.

“Come on,” you mumble to yourself as you’re trying to open up a new bottle of wine, but the screw just wouldn’t move, no matter what you do. A hand reaches forward and wraps around the neck of the bottle, interrupting your pathetic misery.

“Let me help you.”

You let Harry take the bottle, biting into your bottom lip as you turn around and watch him easily open the bottle you’ve been fighting with the past ten minutes, he grabs your empty glass from the counter and fills it.

“Thank you,” you mumble when he hands it back and you take a sip right away. He places the bottle to the counter, fingers strumming on the surface before he takes a deep breath and speaks up.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“For what exactly?”

“For the way I acted. You were totally right, I called you out for things that I did myself too, that was unfair of me.” He clears his throat, leaning against the counter with his back side as he crosses his arms on his chest. It brings out how toned his arms really are and you give yourself half a second to drool over that before you take another sip from your drink, forcing yourself to keep your thoughts under control.

“Thanks for acknowledging it,” you mumble, not sure what to say exactly. The two of you stand like that in silence, eyes roaming the guests, something clearly weighing down on both of you, but it’s hard to name and address it.

You can tell he is overthinking, the gears are almost visible, turning in that smart head of his, but you don’t want him to go into depths he shouldn’t. He really is making a bigger deal out of the situation that it already is, but it’s going to wreck him.

“Okay, I want to know, what was the worst way someone tried to flirt with you?”

Harry turns to you with a puzzled look, but you just sip on your wine, waiting for his answer.

“Um, I don’t… really keep track of it.”

“Oh come on,” you give him a look. “I know you have a story. I wanna hear it!”

Your eyes meet and he is searching in yours, trying to figure out what’s the sudden change in your mood when an hour ago you were ready to throw him off the balcony. Truth is you are just frustrated, because the situation feels so impossible. You never had to deal with such an amazing man, knowing he is into you as well, but you just can’t have him. The struggle is hard for the both of you but you can’t blame him entirely. Hating on him because he is not willing to take a risk that could easily ruin his entire life but at least his academic career is just not fair and you won’t put him through that.

Harry sees where you’re coming from and he shoots you a thankful smile before it turns into a smirk as he looks down at his hands.

“Professor Davids from the department of linguistics asked me to be her date for her ex-husband’s wedding.”

“What?” you gasp with wide eyes. “For real?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “She started swinging by my office all the time, trying to chat me up and then one day she asked if I wanted to go with her, that we would be staying at this nice hotel and all… she really thought it was a good idea.”

“That’s very awkward,” you laugh, entertained by the thought that Professor Davids would go so low when it came to dating. “I assume, you declined the invitation.”

“Faster than ever,” he chuckles making you laugh even louder. “Okay, your turn.”

“What?”

“I told you an awkward story, now it’s your turn.”

“Um, the worst was probably a promposal I got.”

“A promposal?” he asks with a puzzled look, his forehead creasing as he pulls his eyebrows together.

“Yeah, when they ask you out to go to prom.” “Oh, yeah. Didn’t know it had a specific name.”

“Because you are way too British,” you tease him and he just gives you a narrow-eyed look, but you can see the smirk hiding on his lips. “Well, anyway, I was dating a guy senior year, but this other one was convinced he could win me over and take me to prom. He brought a fucking mariachi band to school and gave me a serenade in the middle of the hallway while my boyfriend was standing next to me. He asked me to prom so confidently at the end of the song, like he actually had a shot but it was so painfully awkward,” you laugh at the memory shaking your head and Harry joins, finding it quite entertaining.

“He really did that to himself.”

“He did, I felt bad a little, but what was I supposed to do?”

You slip into telling more and more awkward stories, staying in the kitchen you create a little bubble, the rest of the guests don’t seem to exist as you enjoy yourself with Harry. This is the most carefree and loosest you’ve ever seen him around you and you quite like this version of him. So easy to talk to and even funnier than his usual self.

A little before midnight Sarah runs around with champagne, filling everyone’s glass, getting ready for the countdown. You and Harry join Charlotte, Adam and his wife in the corner of the living room as everyone is slowly getting excited for the last moments of the year.

Looking around you see a lot of couples, holding hands, hugging, clearly planning to snog the moment the clock hits midnight and when you glance at Harry on your right you’re convinced he is thinking about the same thing.

You’re not naïve, you don’t think he is going to kiss you, but you still allow yourself to play with the thought just a little. He is standing so close to you, just the tiniest move and you’d be touching him, skin to skin again, feel him under your—

The thought is abruptly interrupted when you feel his warm palm wrap around your hand, your whole body freezing and for a split second you think it’s just an accident, that his touch will disappear before you could even blink, but it stays there. Harry maneuvers his fingers until they are laced together with yours and he keeps a firm hold of your hand, hanging between the two of you, staying hidden because you’re standing close to each other. Your breath catches in your throat and you’re afraid if you dare to move he’ll let go of your hand.

Another version of yourself would laugh hysterically at how worked up you are right now just because he is holding your hand, but the you that’s actually in the moment is about to burst just by this small touch. You have absolutely no idea what it means or why he chose to do it, but you don’t really care about it. You just want to absorb all the heat you feel coming from him where his palm meets yours, fingers braided together tightly, as if he is trying to keep you next to him, like he thinks you are about to disappear and it’s way of anchoring you to him, but truth is you don’t want to go anywhere.

“One minute, everyone!” Sarah sings in excitement as she turns on the TV and puts a huge clock on the screen that’s counting the seconds as well. You shyly glance to the side, finding Harry standing motionless next to you and when he notices you looking, his eyes meet yours. He looks terrified, like a lost little boy and you can’t tell if he is afraid of your reaction or because of what his actions might bring on him. But you want him to know that you are completely okay with where it’s heading.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” The countdown begins and you inch closer to Harry so you’re pressed against his side, his body heat radiating into your skin even through the layers of clothes you two are wearing.

Harry leans down the moment you lift your head, his face is so close, it wouldn’t take much for you to finally kiss him, do the one thing you haven’t stopped thinking about for months.

“Y/N…” he breathes out and it’s a tortured plea, he is begging you to stop him from doing something he might regret, but you are dying for him to finally sin. You want him to give it up already, you have absolutely no desire to be the burden that keeps him in his lane. You need him to cross the line and stay there.

“I’m not stopping you, Harry,” you tell him quietly, the urge to close the distance between the two of you is burning inside you.

“Seven! Six! Five!” the countdown continues, but it all tones out, you can only see, hear and feel Harry.

“We can’t,” he whines, closing his eyes as he exhales shakily.

“We can, we just shouldn’t,” you correct him, his eyes snap open and meet yours again. You can tell he is so close to finally giving in and let his feelings and desires take control and you will not try to stop him.

His face inches the tiniest bit closer and his forehead is almost touching yours now, you can see every curly eyelash that frames his gorgeous green eyes that are now filled with fear and nerves.

“Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone screams together as the clock finally hits midnight while you just stare at Harry holding your breath, praying that he is finally ballsy enough to take this step.

“Harry, please,” you beg, not too proud of it, but you just can’t take it any longer. His hand is gripping yours tightly as he closes his eyes again and for a second you think that it’s gonna happen. He is going to give up the act and finally kiss you.

But right when the moment is burning the most… he pulls back and your heart sinks.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hand lets go of yours and it feels like your arm is ripped off, tears are welling in your eyes.

“Yeah, me too,” you mumble under your breath, chugging down the champagne before making your way through the living room, determined to leave as soon as possible.

“Y/N, wait, where are you going?” you hear him calling after you, but you don’t stop. You get rid of the empty champagne glass and grab your coat from the rack, storming out of the apartment as if you had somewhere to be.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks as you run down the stairs, almost tripping over your own feet. You hear the other pair of feet running behind you and Harry calling after you, but it’s not stopping you.

You push the front door of the building open, but it’s heavy, so it slows you down just enough that Harry can grab your wrist when you are about to start running down the street.

“Y/N, don’t go, let me explain!”

“No!” you snap at him. “I don’t fucking want to hear your explanation! I’m done, Harry! I’m fucking done! I was trying to be patient and respectful, I didn’t want to make it worse for you and let you do your thing, but you kept dancing back and forth and I can’t keep doing this, so I guess I’m sorry too.”

You’re choking on your own words that echo from the walls, the street is almost entirely empty, the world is still celebrating the new year while you’re at your breaking point. Harry stands in front of you, defeated and panic all over his face as he listens to you.

“I will not sit around and let you play your little games any longer, because you can’t make up your mind whether you want me or not.”

“Y/N I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life!” he snaps, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s the problem! This shouldn’t be happening, but I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting you!”

“Then do something about it!” you beg through your tears.

“I can’t!”

“Yes you can!” you scream at him. “You can but you probably just don’t want me enough to actually do it! And it’s fine, but—“

You don’t get to finish your rant because Harry firmly grabs your arm, yanks you towards him and with one swift movement, his lips are crashing against yours.

It all happens so fast but your body reacts before your mind could process what’s really happening, fists bunching a handful of his sweater as you pull him against you, his hands flying up to your face, cupping them confidently as he kisses you hard and demandingly.

It’s like a fucking dam that’s been broken, everything you both kept bottled up and under control just breaks loose and it’s a kind of a wild fight for trying to devour each other now that all lines has been crossed an blurred into nothingness.

He is the dominant one, but you do some pushing and pulling on your own as well. You’re forced to take a few steps backwards, back arching at how forcefully he is pushing forward, lips smacking against each other over and over again, his tongue meeting yours, swirling and dancing around with yours, a shameless moan escaping your mouth.

His hands roam down your sides and you jumps when they reach the back of your thighs, legs wrapping around his waist. He keeps you up easily, fingers digging into your flesh where your butt meets your thighs and this angle allows you to be completely pressed up against him and feel every single inch of his body that burns for you.

It’s beyond anything you’ve ever imagined, you’re not sure it’s because of the build-up that led to this point or simply the chemistry you two got, but it blows your mind, making you question how you could go this long without ever kissing him.

“Harry, I want you,” you moan when his lips move down to your jawline, kissing and biting on the soft skin, tasting you wherever he can reach.

“I want you too, Y/N,” he breathes out resting his forehead against yours before kissing you again.

“Take me home then.”

“Are you sure?” he pants as you run your fingers through his hair and tug on his gently, earning a whimper from his perfectly pink and swollen lips. You love this satisfied dew on his face, especially because you know it’s because of you.

“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”

You unwrap your legs from around his waist and return to the ground, but not without him leaning down to kiss you once more before he grabs your hand and starts pulling you down the street. You spot his Rover right away and start sprinting, Harry following you right behind with a carefree laugh.

Settled in your seats he starts driving, but you can’t keep yourself away from him. His hand that’s not on the steering wheel is gripping your thigh as you lean over the console and start kissing his cheek, jawline and the corner of his mouth as one of your hands runs down his chest until it reaches his pants.

“Love, if you move further down we’re gonna crash,” he warns you with a shaky breath. “I drank a little too and I’m already fucking gone from kissing you, if you touch me I’m gonna lose it.”

You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his lips before sitting back in your seat. You need every bit of your patience and self-control to stay modest on the way back to his place. Hands gripping his you bring it up to your lips, kissing his knuckles gently as he speeds down the empty streets. It’s still barely over midnight, everyone is still celebrating, oblivious to how important this moment is to the two of you.

You really thought this would be the end. When he pulled away at midnight all hope was lost for you and it broke your heart to know that he will never choose you over his better judgment.

It’s your first time at Harry’s but you don’t really care to look around as the two of you make your way inside the townhouse, lips already melted together as you stumble through the dark hallway, not wanting to let go of each other. You successfully make it into his bedroom and Harry turns on the bedside lamp while you’re already eagerly getting rid of your coat and shoes. He does the same, clothes start to litter the hardwood flooring hastily, but neither of you is thinking about them. Harry scoops you into his arms once again, kissing your lips passionately as he bunches your dress up at your hips until he can finally grip the end of it and pull it over your head.

“Oh shit!” you giggle, the turtleneck getting stuck on your head for a moment before you’re free from it.

“That big head of yours,” he chuckles kissing your forehead.

“Shut up,” you smack his chest gently, pushing him down to the bed so you can straddle him, knees on his sides as you sit on his lap, lips meeting again.

He throws his hands up when you start pulling his t-shirt up and once the fabric is off of his body, his arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his chest. Your skin meets his and it feels heavenly, only little clothing separating the two of you at this point.

Harry scoots backwards and then throws you to the mattress, getting on top of you without your lips ever parting. His hips are pushed against yours and you can feel everything through the thin material of his slacks. Without even knowing you grind your hips, your core meeting his erection in the movement and he moans uncontrollably at the sensation.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against your lips and you can’t push your smirk down at his reaction.

“Yeah, fuck me, Harry,” you tease him before your lips get occupied once again.

His hands work fast. He unclasps your bra without you even noticing, the straps falling from your shoulders before he gets rid of it, throwing it across the room as if it did something against him. When his hungry eyes fall down on your naked chest you see the same kind of torture in his eyes that was there when he was fighting with himself before.

“Harry, stop thinking,” you tell him, fingers massaging his scalp as you lace them through his hair. “It’s fine, we’re fine.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he questions again and you pull him down for a reassuring kiss.

“One hundred percent. I want this. I want you.”

“Oh God, I want you so bad,” he whines again, lips kissing down your jawline, neck and collarbone before they attack your breasts.

He cups them, licks and bites them, making you a whimpering mess underneath him every time his tongue meets your hot skin. This man will be the death of you. As he moves down your body, his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties and he glances up at your for reassurance once again, you nod eagerly, lifting your hips so he can easily glide the fabric down and off of your body. Harry sits up, eyes burning down on your naked body lying in front of him as he undoes his own pants, pushing them down his long legs until they join the rest on the floor. You push yourself up when his hands move to his boxers, you want to be the one to take them off. He gladly backs his hands off when you reach out and start tugging them down. He kneels on the bed as you pull the fabric down and his erection finally becomes free, making you ache for him immediately. Once the boxers are out of the way completely you want to reach out to touch him, but he stops you, hands wrapping around your wrist before they could reach him.

Your eyes snap up to meet his darkened gaze, questioning why he stopped you.

“Y/N, I… If we do this, there’s no going back,” he breathes out with a pained look. You push yourself up to your knees so you meet his height, hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him into a sweet kiss that he hesitantly but returns.

“I know what you think about us, Harry, but I assure you, that I’m completely fine with it. But if you don’t want it to happen, we can just… lie here. I’m fine with that too. Kissing you was already such a gift for me,” you smile at him, gently pecking his lips.

“I just don’t want you to wake up and regret it. I’m not pushing you, right?”

“If anyone, it’s me pushing you,” you chuckle softly, a small smile tugging on his lips as well. “You didn’t push anything on me, alright? We are both adults and it’s completely fine. We’ll figure out the rest, I just want to focus on you now. Can I do that?”

Harry nods, still looking a little unsure, but you can tell he is starting to settle in his mindset. It’s not just him that worries about the other regretting something. You know how torn up he is about anything that’s about you and though you want him more than anything, you still don’t want to push him into doing something he is not entirely comfortable with.

“Do you want this?” you softly ask, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I do. I’m just—“

“Then it’s all good, Harry. We both want it, nothing else matters for now,” you tell him, wanting nothing else than to finally see him enjoy himself entirely. “Lay down for me,” you tell him, feeling like you taking the lead is a good idea now.

He does as you asked him to, lying down on the mattress, head sinking into his pillow as he blinks up at you, watching you swing a leg over him before settling to sit on his thighs.

“Can I touch you?” you ask, wanting to make sure he feels completely comfortable with you. Pleasing him is your number one priority right now. He nods, lips parting as he watches your hand reach out and wrap around the base of his erected length. He whimpers under your touch, his eyes fall closed when you gently pump him a few times, his cock fits so well in your palms, like pieces of a puzzle.

Leaning down you kiss his fern tattoos on each sides of his hips before placing one to his leaking tip, sliding your hands to the base before you slowly and gradually take him into your mouth.

You’re not planning to make him cum with your mouth, but you’ve been dying to taste him and it’s just as good as you imagined. The way his body reacts to your touch, the noises that leave his kissable lips, this man is completely out of this world and you want to explore every inch of his body.

You bob your head a couple of times, just enough to wet his length and work him up for what’s coming next. When you let him go of your mouth and you move a little up on his body so that his cock can be lined up with your hole, you look at him to see if he is still down to continue. One hand holding his cock, the other one flat on his naked chest, you ask him a question with your eyes that he answers with his hands squeezing your hips.

“I have the implant. Do you want to put on a condom?” you ask him at last.

“I trust you,” he breathes out. “Do you want me to put one on?”

“I want to feel you,” you tell him shaking your head.

“Okay,” he nods so it’s settled.

Leaning down you peck his lips one last time before you push the head inside and then slowly ease yourself down on his throbbing length.

“Oh fuck!”

“Harry, oh my God!” you both moan at the sensation of him finally entering you. You’ve had your fair share of sexual intercourses throughout your life, but none of them felt this good. None of them pleasured you this good so fast and easily, just the feel of him being inside you is making you lose your mind.  

You start off slow, wanting to feel him just right, get used to his size, but as soon as you feel more comfortable, you pick up a faster pace. His fingers are digging into your flesh at your hips as he holds onto you for dear life, panting and moaning at your motions. He glides in and out of you perfectly, setting your senses on fire practically.

“Harry, you feel so good,” you gasp, getting lost in the feeling. Sex has always been a good experience for you, but with Harry it’s a whole different story. As if he just opened a completely new world you never even knew about before.

“Yeah? You’re gonna cum for me?”

“Yes! Oh fuck!”

Harry pushes himself up, an arm coming around your back as he easily flips the two of you over, your back gently hitting the soft mattress. He holds himself up above you, lips crashing with yours as he starts to do the work this time, thrusting in and out of you, his hips smacking against yours forcefully as you both nearing the end.

“You’re making me lose my fucking mind, Y/N,” he cries out, head falling to the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around him as a shield, holding him tight against you.

It doesn’t take long after that. He is hitting just the right spots, making you moan his name over and over again as your orgasm slowly devours you and washes over your whole body while he is still relentlessly moving.

“Harry! Oh… Fuck!” you gasp, legs and hands shaking and you clench your muscles around him, throwing him over the edge with you. He falls out of his rhythm, his cock twitching inside you as he moans against the hot skin of your neck, coming undone in your arms.

Nothing has ever felt this intense and mind-blowing and you’re now sure you’re addicted to him, there’s no turning back, not that you want that.

He collapses on top of you, still inside you, his body weighing down on you heavily, but it feels just fine. You run your arms up and down his sides, kissing the side of his head as you are both trying to catch your breath. It takes a few minutes for him to come back to reality with you, he lifts his head and moves to the side so he is not crushing you anymore, but an arm remains thrown over your abdomen. His vibrant green eyes are shining like never before when they meet your tired gaze and cupping his face in your palm you pull him in for a slow kiss where you finally have the time to actually taste him without the rushing of your own needs and urges.

“How are you feeling?” you softly asking, knowing well how major this was for him. You wouldn’t want him to spiral and start to self-destruct because of what just happened.

“I’m feeling fine,” he murmurs lowly, his fingers dancing on your naked side. “Just still a little torn if I did the right thing.”

“You worry too much. We did nothing wrong.”

“Not sure everyone would agree with that.”

“Fuck everyone else,” you chuckle and a smile tugs on his lips as well. “I will not feel bad for having the best sex of my life with a hot as fuck man I’m really into,” you bluntly tell him, earning a smug grin.

“Best sex of your life, huh?”

“Not even ashamed to admit,” you nod into the pillow. “How… was it for you?” you shyly ask, afraid his answer might disappoint you. But Harry pulls you closer until you’re pressed up against his chest, his lips capture yours, kissing you fiercely, making your heart skip a few beats for sure.

“Fucking amazing, baby. Probably the best I ever had too,” he admits, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips as you nuzzle against his chest once he has rolled to his back.

Silence comes over the two of you, you’re listening to his steady heartbeat, mindlessly drawing patterns over his chest. Lifting your head your eyes meet his and you can tell he has been thinking hard about what this all means for the future now.

“I’m in,” you simply tell him.

“Huh?”

“If you are thinking that I might not want to do this with you, that I just wanted a good fuck, that’s not what I think of this. If you want to give us a chance, I’m totally in.”

“You think we can make it work?” he quietly asks, his voice barely more than just a whisper.

“Of course,” you smile at him warmly. “You don’t?”

“I do, I’m just… there are so many things that can go wrong.”

“Then… we’ll make them right.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, clearly having a hard time to take it as easy as you do and you wish you could magically make all his doubts go away.

Sitting up you put your hands on each of his sides, looking down at him determined to bring out his confidence in the two of you.

“We just have to be patient and careful until I finish. Then we are basically free. That’s just one more semester. It could be way worse, we can make it work for a couple of months before we can finally do whatever we want. That doesn’t sound that bad, does it?” Harry shakes his head, reaching up he tugs your hair behind your ear before running his fingers down the side of your face.

“So we are really doing this?” he breathes out, a small smile on his sweet, pink lips.

“Well, I’m surely not giving up on this, we came a long way to be here,” you chuckle. “Question is, are you gonna give up on us? On… me?”

“Hell no,” he chuckles softly as he shakes his head. You smile down at him and leaning down you peck his lips tenderly.

“Then… we really are doing this.”

SEQUEL: 🌊 AN OCEAN AWAY 🌊

-

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[antonhousehold]

so let's love

summary: sometimes, katsuki let his insecurities get the best of him. and sometimes, you get hurt because of that.

song: so let's love - day6 (click the song, its totally worth it!)

warning: angst. bakugou being toxic. reader is touch starved. yelling and cursing. insecurities. reader is in love with bakugou but he's afraid!! no fluff end!

reader: gn!neutral (or i tried to be neutral!)

note: this is my first time writing angst, so im sorry if is shitty. also, i would like to let know that english is not my first language, so im sorry if i messed up with the grammar and stuff like that!

loving bakugou was kinda... hard.

sometimes he's sweet in his own way. you remember the times when you fell asleep in his arms. the way his heart almost ran away from his chest. the warmth of his body against yours. it was simply beautiful.

he was beautiful.

everything started when you met him in that street. the sky was pouring and some thunders were lightning up the clouds. the city was dark and the stars were the only ones in the scene. he was smoking a cigarette and the smell of the tabaco and the rain was a very unique fragrance to you. you tried to cover him from the rain with your umbrella. gladly, he didn't stop you.

«have I seen you before?» you asked. those vermillion eyes were as deep as the ocean.

«i think so, [name]»

you remember the first time he asked you out in a date. it was simple but nice. just like him.

you remember the times when you were with with him in highschool. the way his words were harsh towards everyone. you thought he overcome that.

«i told you before, dumbass. i can't stand when you touch me like that in public! it makes me look fucking weak!»

we sometimes fight, and get hurt by each other's sharp words

«i didn't even hug you! i just leaned on your body. i can't help it, I'm your partner!»

«my partner would fucking understand and respect my boundaries! or are you too dumb to actually get it?! »

and you tried to be understanding about him. you tried to give him the space he need it. you stopped showing affection towards him in public. it was kinda hard, but if this was the best way to keep him happy and comfortable, you were completely down for it.

then, in your shared apartment, he started to accept your love. you believed in the soft kisses, the hugs, and the fuzzy feeling of his words in your heart. You wanted to believe in the memories of happiness and beautiful moments that you locked in your mind. the promises and the not so often sweet words. it made you feel special. he always made you feel special, or that's what you wanted to believe.

i can't possibly erase all the wounds you left in me

everything was going on very well, at least at the beginning. until those ethereal moments started to get serious. katsuki realized how much in love he was with you. how his heart almost ran away from his chest every time you looked at him.

it was overwhelming.

so he started panicking. you were just too good to be with him. he didn't feel worthy of your love. why would you even love someone like him?

i'm too afraid that you might leave me

«hey katsu, wanna shower together? i thought it was a good idea since both of us are exhausted»

«shower first. i'm not joining»

sometimes, he just didn't even consider your dates or plans with him. every time was the same. 'i have stuff to do, maybe tomorrow', 'i need to study for this test, i'm not gonna throw my career just for you'

you just wanted a little bit of his love.

you know me, please hold my unstable heart

«can you stop looking me like that? it's giving me goosebumps»

«i'm sorry»

it was hard to him as well. every time he saw your disappointed face and the teary eyes of you, his heart sinks. he didn't want to hurt you, but the feeling of loving you were scarier than hurting your feelings.

saying harsh words was so much easier than accepting the fact that he was feeling vulnerable when you were with him.

«i'm not gonna go to that shitty party. go by yourself»

«it's going to be so much fun! come on, grandpa!» you tried to play it cool. you just wanted a little of him.

«are you deaf? im not fucking going. i have stuff way more important than getting drunk with you»

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

«why the fuck are you so clingy around him?!! do you like him or what?!» he asked once you walked through the door.

«what? what are you talking about?»

«don't play dumb with me. answer the fucking question!»

«i don't even know what are you talking about?!» his eyes were staring at you so furiously, that you even felt the goosebumps in your skin. bakugou always looked scary when he was this mad.

«i'm talking about that shitty extra!» he pulled out his phone and let you see the bright photos of the party night that was all over his social media.

even one word, i need to say it carefully. even this sentence with a trembling heart..

in fact, you were with that green haired boy, hugging him and smiling so softly that bakugou wanted to throw up. it was totally disgusting. 'how can they be so lovey dovey with that piece of shit and bitching all the time with me?'

«why are so mad about it? you hate when i touch you or kiss you, then why are you so obsessed when i show affection towards someone else?!» this whole situation was getting on your nerves. it was hard to keep a conversation about this with him, because he'd always yell the same thing about you.

«because you're my fucking partner!! i didn't expect you to be such a whore just for a damn hug!»

his words got stuck in your head as he started walking near you, just to look at your eyes with those deep vermillion eyes. for a moment, you thought he wanted to cried, but his screams blinded his emotions.

his scent stills reminds you fo cigarettes and rainy days. thunders and fire. it was hard to keep all those emotions in your chest.

i thought we were still fine, but i was wrong

«what the fuck is wrong with you, bakugou?!! you don't want me to even look at you but you get jealous when i have a good time with my friends. what the fuck do you want from me??!» you tried to fight the urge of crying. your eyes were begging to let them cry, but the knot in your throat was suffocating you at this point.

«i want you to fucking LEAVE! i'm so done with this shit. i can't stand you anymore. i don't want your shitty 'affection'» he yelled. you jump in your place of how unexpected his words came out. «i don't think i ever loved you! you're so fucking annoying with the same shit. 'please katsuki, love me please' so damn annoying. you wanna know what?! nobody wants your fucking affection, not even me, get over it!!»

we were shaking as much as we could. we were getting that cold

the words he said, the way he screamed, everything felt so out of him.

you felt your hot tears walking down your face so painfully. even felt your blood run cold against your skin. there's no way he was your boyfriend. katsuki was a jerk, totally, but he would never hurt you like that. he's not your katsuki. something happened to him.

you tried so hard to believe that he didn't mean those things. you thought it was just another fight, that tomorrow everything will be normal again. nothing changed, it wasn't real.

«i-i know you didn't mean it»

«i did. fucking leave. take your shit out of here soon»

i'm incomplete. i'm only complete with you

you know me so please, hold my unstable heart

«this is my apartment too»

«then i'll leave! throw all my stuff. enjoy your apartment, you can be free again»

he walked to the door with his phone and wallet, leaving the place with a heavy silent. you stared at the door, expecting to see him trying to apologize, but that didn't happen. you even imagined everything was a really mean joke, that he didn't mean something like that. you can't lie of loving someone for almost six months.

you tried so hard to keep him happy. you tried everything, but at the end, he didn't even love you as much as you did. all your wishes were just a pure thought of hope. it wasn't real. you just wanted a little of his love.

a last kiss.

a last hug.

a last minute of his life.

i want your love, please love me. that's all i wish for

so let's love more in the future

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 10) - Take Care

Summary: The reader gets to meet Danneel’s parents in a somewhat unorthodox way but receives a warm welcome to her surprise. Meanwhile, a minor medical scare makes Jensen anxious that he takes too much and doesn’t give enough to the reader...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Playing With Their Hair

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, minor frightening situation, minor medical situation, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @supernatural-jackles​​ Tell Me A Story Bingo...

________

One Week Later

“Y/N, can we get orange?” asked Arrow from where she sat in the shopping cart. She pointed at the tubes of frosting and you took one off, handing it to her as you went back to searching for a box of red velvet mix. 

“Come on,” you sighed, squatting down. You saw one shoved in the back and you bent down, reaching back to get it. You huffed when you pulled it back, the expiration date still plenty good. “Score. Okay Arrow what other color…”

She wasn’t in the cart anymore as you stood, her bright pink shirt and shorts nowhere in sight. 

“Arrow!” you shouted, people from the farther end of the aisle turning to look at you. You breathed hard and spun around, exiting the aisle and looking at the checkouts. “Arrow!”

“Mam,” said a man in a white dress shirt and slacks, walking over with a headset on.

“I had a little girl with me and she’s missing and she was in the cart and I would have heard her climb out,” you said, walking quickly, the man following with you as you checked down aisles. “Arrow!”

You heard the guy talk into his headset when you caught pink and a guy near the front of the store. She spun around and you ran over, the manager not too far behind you. You didn’t say a word when you kicked the back of the guys knee and grabbed Arrow, picking her up.

“What’d I do?” he said, Arrow turning away. He looked more angry than you were expecting and you swallowed, the manager urging you back. “She’s the one that took my granddaughter!”

“She’s not your fucking granddaughter, pervert. I’m her nanny and soon to be step-mom so you can back the fuck off.”

“Step fucking what?” he said, his face going blank. 

“Grandpa I told you Y/N’s my friend,” said Arrow. You blinked and stared at the man.

“Prove it,” you said. The man angrily pulled out his wallet and ripped out a picture, turning it around. It was a large group photo but you could clearly see Jensen and the kids in it along with… “You’re her father. Danneel.”

“Who the fuck are you,” he said. You took out your phone and went to your pictures, showing him one of your backyard bonfire from the weekend before. 

“Is there a problem?” asked the manager. You shook your head and he rolled his eyes and left.

“Sir, I’m so sorry,” you said. He nodded and glanced down. 

“Well, I can’t blame you. I understand the feeling,” he said. 

“Can we...talk?” you asked.

“I think that’d be best before somebody else gets their ass kicked.”

Fifteen minutes later you had your bag of baking supplies in your trunk, Arrow was playing on the jungle gym and you were sat at a picnic table with Danneel’s parents.

“You guys came down early for JJ’s birthday, huh,” you said.

“We had to come down this weekend instead. Something came up last minute next week,” said her mom. You nodded and took a deep breath. 

“I am so sorry. That is absolutely not how Jensen and I wanted to tell you both.”

“I’m old but I’m tough. I’ll survive,” said her father. You looked over to where Arrow was playing, gnawing on your bottom lip. “You said you were the nanny and soon to be step mom. Mind unraveling that for us?”

“I uh, I started working for Jensen in January as a nanny to help with the kids. The relationship part came a few weeks later. We’ve been engaged very briefly. Don’t even have a ring or anything yet,” you said, shaking your head. “Please don’t be mad at him. It’s taken him so long to stop feeling guilty for having feelings for me. Please don’t be upset with him. I don’t...I’m not trying to replace anyone or anything. I didn’t want to like him. But I did and I love him and he deserves to be happy again.”

They looked at one another and back at you.

“Good,” they both said. 

“Excuse me?”

“We think he deserves to be happy too. He was in such a bad place after the accident,” she said. “He’s sounded like himself again recently.”

“Plus if you’re willing to kick my ass for thinking I took Arrow, that gets you some brownie points,” he said with a smile. You nodded and looked down at the table, swallowing. “Not what you were expecting?”

“Your daughter’s husband is engaged to a younger woman. I wouldn’t blame you at all for whatever you might think,” you said.

“He’s got a lot of time left,” he said. “He doesn’t have to be miserable for it. We don’t want that for him. It’s not what she’d want. He’s doing exactly what she’d want from him and that’s all we can ask of him. Well and maybe stick around the country for a bit so we can see the kids some more.”

“Yeah, no plans to be anywhere but home right now,” you said. You looked over at Arrow and watched her jump off a high platform. She fell down to her knees but got up and brushed them off before she was running again.

“She’d like you,” you heard, your attention going back to the two of them. She was staring at you and you smiled.

“You don’t know a thing about me mam.”

“I think we know the important parts,” she said. You nodded and glanced down. “What do Jensen’s parents think of all this?”

“They know he’s dating but that’s it. I’m supposed to meet them next week,” you said.

“We’ll keep our lips sealed for the time being then,” she said. “What about your folks? What do they think of Jensen and the kids?”

“The kids probably haven’t met either parent yet, right?” he said. 

“It’s kinda complicated...I was adopted. My mom died a long time ago. I don’t have a dad or family really,” you said. You pursed your lips and picked at the corner of the table with your fingernail, the air heavy. 

“Well we approve of him,” he said. “He’s a good kid.”

“I know. He’s very special,” you said. “I just wish something so horrible didn’t have to happen to him and your daughter in order to meet him.”

“We can’t change that fact,” she said. “She’d want you to take care of him, keep an eye on him. Oh and remind him to take a break and slow down every once in a while. He always gets so caught up in work and being on the go. She had to calm him down sometimes.”

“I have noticed that trend,” you said. “I hope you don’t feel like he’s going to forget-”

“No we don’t worry about that. If we learned anything from this it’s just that you have to live while you have the chance,” he said as Arrow ran over.

“Y/N, I’m hungry,” she said. 

“Alright, munchkin. Why don’t we head home and maybe your grandma and grandpa will have lunch with us?” you asked.

“We’d love to,” they said. “We’ll meet you two there.”

“That went shockingly well,” said Jensen late that night when you were having an extra slice of JJ’s early birthday cake. “Those guys loved you.”

“I think we both got a little too worried over the parents situation. Dee’s parents were great, especially considering I nearly broke his knee. I’m really excited to meet yours next weekend.”

“It’s not too long of a drive up there. I haven’t been home in a long time. I’m looking forward to it too,” he said, a big smile on his face. “I’m really glad they liked you.”

“What’s not to love?” you said, Jensen smirking around his piece of cake. “You’re so hard on yourself. I’m really happy they like me too but even if they didn’t, there’s no problem there. You’re allowed to live your life. Dee wants you to keep living it.”

“I still wonder if she was just like ‘this boy is driving me nuts again, he needs a girl,’ and somehow shoved you into my life,” he said.

“Maybe. I mean, it was good timing that I was looking for a new job the same time you were looking for a nanny.”

“Did you ever report that last guy as an inappropriate employer?” he asked.

“I tell the agency but nothing criminal no. I mostly feel sorry for the families. Nannies are stability in the kids lives and leaving them isn’t easy. Unless they’re little shitheads but even then I don’t blame them, it’s the parents that turned them into it,” you said. 

“What’d you think of those three, when you met ‘em I mean,” he said.

“They’re all a little shy like you but they open up if they like you. They’re pretty damn funny. They got wit and sarcasm, even if they don’t know it yet. They’re kind and intelligent and they look to you in how to act like most kids. I knew they were good kids from the start.”

“You’re gonna be a great mom,” he said. You smiled and watched him eat a piece of cake, Jensen tilting his head. “You know they have called you mom before. All three of them. Accidentally but still.”

“Being a nanny has some of the roles of a parent but there’s still a difference,” you said.

“Yeah but you’ve never just been the nanny,” he said, scraping up some frosting with his fork. “Speaking of your sudden thrust into motherhood, the whole kids thing...how many of your own were you thinking of?”

“I don’t know. I don’t need to make a baby to love it. I was adopted and my mom loved me so much. I mean there’s already three of ‘em to chase after.”

“I’d like to have a baby with you. Someday,” he said. You dabbed your finger across some frosting on the plate and sucked on it, staring at him. “I know you do. Y/N there’s no more secrets. There’s never gonna be a secret between us ever again. Sometimes you get nervous but we have to talk about these things and everything. The big choices and the little ones we make together.”

“Honestly? I don’t want you to think I’ll love them less than a kid I make. I won’t. I will treat them all the same but I don’t know how to prove that to you.”

“You told me the day I hired you that I needed to hire someone I could trust, that trust was going to be so important. Y/N, I’ve never doubted your feelings for them. Shit, I’m pretty damn sure you were in love with them before me. And I get it because they aren’t scary. They can’t hurt you like the adults can. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I had a shred of doubt.”

“I gotta think about kids more I guess. How many, when. I don’t know that right now.”

“We’ll figure out all that when we’re ready. Just let me know and we’ll come back to this conversation,” he said, wrapping an arm around your waist. “You know...hearing about what you did at the store...that’s kinda super attractive you know.”

“Uh what?” you said, Jensen pulling you into his lap.

“You, going protective badass...that’s very, very hot you see,” he said. 

“You’re such a guy,” you said while he picked up the last piece of cake on his fork. 

“Well we-” he said as you leaned forward and wrapped your lips around the dessert, pulling back with a smile. “Oh you shouldn’t have done that.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” you smirked. He narrowed his eyes and set his fork down before he was standing and flipped you over his shoulder. “Jensen! Put me down!”

“Do the crime, do the time!” he said, walking over to the stairs. “Hm...what to do with you...ah I know…”

“You know…” you said before he flipped you down onto the couch and plopped down on top of you, catching most of his weight on his hands on either side of you. “Troublemaker.”

“You love it,” he said. He leaned down and kissed you, your hands wandering to his hair, holding him close. You grinned and wrapped your legs around his waist, Jensen kissing you sloppy and cheeky and like a teenage boy making out for the first time. 

“Dad,” said JJ, rushing down the stairs. He dropped this forehead to yours and sighed.

“What is it?” he asked. He sat up and you both looked at her, spotting the pale tint of her skin. “Feel okay?”

“Jensen call an ambulance, now,” you said, pushing him off and going over to her. He sat up and you kneeled down next to her, her lips slightly blue. You put a hand on her chest and felt the labored breathing. “Did you eat something new tonight? Or did a bug bite you?”

“I stepped on a prickly in the bathroom a minute ago,” she said.

“Jesus,” said Jensen as he rushed into the kitchen. “She got stung by a scorpion.”

He grabbed a bottle from the cabinet and started unscrewing it.

“Jensen go see what the scorpion is and get rid of it before the twins find it,” you said. He left the bottle with you and shoved the phone against your ear. “Hi, sorry how much of the anti-venom do I give her?”

“There should be a child dosage on the bottle, half the cap,” the person on the other end said. You unscrewed the lid and poured some out, having her swallow it down. She whined and you didn’t blame her based on the smell. “An ambulance will be there shortly.”

“Thank you,” you said, spotting Jensen at the top of the stairs. He was holding his wrist and had a slightly smushed object in one of the clear plastic cups from the kids bathroom. “We have the scorpion.”

“EMT’s should be able to identify it,” she said, Jensen walking down slowly. He took a seat on the bottom step and shook his head. 

“Jensen?” you said, his hand reaching for the bottle. You moved his hand from his wrist and saw two dots there. “Shit. My fiance was stung too.”

“There’s a nest in the bathroom vanity,” he said, pouring himself a dose and knocking it back. “I blocked off the door but get the twins out of there, please.”

“JJ,” you said as you saw her color get better while Jensen was getting paler. You took your phone out of your pocket and dialed, handing it to her. “Tell Uncle Jared to come over right now.”

Five minutes later Jared was there, JJ and Jensen sat in the back of an ambulance, Jensen getting a shot of something in the leg.

“We’re taking them to West County,” said a paramedic.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” you said, JJ staring worriedly at Jensen who has holding his wrist again. Jared looked around as they took off and you sighed. “Hey.”

“JJ said she and Jay got stung by a scorpion?” he asked.

“She got one as far as they can tell. Jensen got three. There’s a nest in the bathroom cupboard,” you said.

“Idiot,” mumbled Jared. You raised and eyebrow and he shook his head. “He forgot to get the pest spray done this year I bet. Dee always handled that kind of stuff. They’ve had a scorpion problem before when they first moved in.”

“Oh.”

“I’m gonna take the twins and stay the night. I’ll call and get the spray guys in first thing in the morning. You go take care of those two,” he said. You nodded and he grabbed your arm when you headed for your car. “Wait five minutes to calm down.”

“Jared I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You just don’t know it. Go inside, get your purse, Jensen’s wallet, take a beat, okay?”

“Okay,” you said. “Make sure-”

“I got it. Go on,” he said. “Make sure he’s not freaking out. Last time he was at a hospital it wasn’t good.”

“Right. Okay. Call me if you need something. And stay away from the kids bathroom.”

“Y/N. I know. It’ll be alright, I promise.”

One Hour Later

“Is dad okay?” asked JJ from where she sat in your lap. Jensen peeled an eye open and smiled. 

“I’m okay. Sleepy is all. We’ll be home in a few hours,” he said. His wrist was bandaged and he had an IV in his arm but he’d taken the anti-venom soon enough that they had enough time to get the proper medication in both him and JJ. She was already discharged but you didn’t want to leave Jensen by himself.

“Mr. Ackles,” said a doctor when she walked in the room. “Your bloodwork came back and everything looks good.”

“Awesome,” he said, sitting up in bed. “Can I get out of here?”

“You got about fifteen minutes left on that IV drip but I’ll let the nurse know to start the paperwork. I want you to take it easy tomorrow. Nothing strenuous.”

“I got it,” he said with a nod. “Nothing strenuous.”

“Jensen,” you said around noon the next day, catching him unloading some wood from the back of his truck. “What are you doing?”

“I was gonna work on those shelves for the kid’s playroom,” he said. You crossed your arms and he threw his head back. “I feel fine. The nest got cleared out and the house got sprayed. I wanna work on this.”

“You have all the time in the world to do it. Work on it tomorrow,” you said, picking up the wood plank. He tried to take it out of your hands and you growled. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Please do what the doctor said and rest today,” you said. He bit his lip and you moved the pieces of wood into the garage, Jensen leaning back against the side of the truck when you shut the trunk. “You’re scared, aren’t you.”

He nodded and glanced at his wrapped up wrist, then down to the ground.

“Hospitals freak me out now,” he said. “I don’t like bugs. My body hurt and knowing I forgot to do something so simple put them in danger sucks. Knowing if she hadn’t come downstairs it might have been real bad sucks. If you hadn’t noticed I don’t know if I would have and it scares me not knowing.”

“Close your eyes for me,” you said. He shut them and took a deep breath, letting you take his hand and walk around to the back of the house. You spun him around a few times stopping him so he was facing the pool about twenty feet away. “Know where you are?”

“Somewhere in the middle of the backyard,” he said. “What are you doing?”

“You said not knowing scared you. Lots of times you don’t know. It’s kinda just how life works,” you said, dropping his hand and moving a few feet away. “Take a big step forward.”

“Y/N, I don’t like this,” he said, fidgeting his hand along the bottom of his shirt. 

“I know you don’t. But would I hurt you?”

“No,” he said. 

“So listen to me. Big step forward.” He took a step and you looked around. “Jump backwards.”

“What?”

“Jump backwards.” He frowned and took a small bunny hop back. “Again.”

“I feel ridiculous.”

“Says the guy who plays pretend for a professional career. Now hop back and then step to the right,” you said. He groaned and did as asked. “Jog forward until I say stop.”

“Are you trying to kill me out here cause I feel like I’m about to break my neck slipping in the pool.”

“I’m trying to get your anxiety out in a non-life threatening way, okay?”

“By having me jump around the backyard like an idiot.”

“By having you get comfortable with the fact that most of life is spent not knowing and you can’t change that fact. You can’t see it all coming.”

He threw his head back but kept his eyes shut. He stared to run towards you and you wrapped your arms around him when he got there, Jensen peeling them open slowly.

“See? I wasn’t gonna let anything bad happen,” you said. He nodded and rested his forehead on your shoulder, pulling you into a squeezing hug. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry for being short and not doing what the doctor asked,” he said.

“Hey, it’s alright. I got scared too last night. Everything is fixed now so no need to worry over it. Why don’t you take a nap and maybe we have a real quiet lazy day while Dee’s parents got the kids for the day,” you said. “Sound fun?”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll take quiet today.”

Three hours later Jensen was curled up with a blanket, his head resting in your lap as you watched a movie together. You played with his hair, Jensen turning into the touch every so often. 

“I know you’re worried about me,” he said. He turned and faced up at you, your fingers swirling in his strands. “I know I’m kinda clingy today which I’m normally not.”

“You can cling all you want, honey,” you said, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “I wish life would give you a break for a second. No work, no badness. Just some peace and quiet for you.”

“My parents lived here after the accident. For a few months. They were here, Jared and Gen were over every day, my siblings would stop down every week. The first few months I understood. I had an injury I had to recover from. But I felt like a child those few months once I recovered. Everyone taking care of the kids, of me. I was barely a father to them. Playtime. A story at bed. Someone else made most of their meals, did everything for them.”

“You’re a father but you’re still someone’s child,” you said. He blinked and you shrugged. “You were hurt, possibly the worst out of anyone. I know taking care of everyone else is your default but people get to take care of you too. I get to take care of you.”

“I feel like all I do is get taken care of by you,” he said. “I never give it back.”

“You’ve given me a family again. You take care of me every single day.”

“I never see you getting upset. It’s always me. I’m always the fuck up,” he said. You slumped down and took a deep breath. 

“I get upset Jensen. I got upset that very first time we fought, that night with the ice cream. I got upset when you got jealous of that nanny in Canada and we saw my father the first time. I got upset telling you the truth of it all because you of all people don’t need problems like that dumped at your feet. I got upset when we saw him again because I was scared and I was scared he might hurt you too. I got upset when we fought when you got home and I got upset when you proposed because you were so scared and I get upset Jensen. I get upset when you’re hurt. I get upset when I hurt. But I don’t have all those safety nets under me that you do, remember? I just got a couple right now and you’re my last resort. I’ve been my own support system for so long that I can’t undo that all overnight. I know it’s been months but the fact I even let you see me cry, the fact I can even talk about this stuff with you and know all you’re thinking about is how to make me feel better...I still need to heal too. You’ve done so much already. I’m gonna have my moments where this is switched, believe me. But today’s not my turn for that, it’s yours.”

“I love you,” he said, staring up with the softest green eyes you’d ever seen on him yet. “Even more than five minutes ago if that’s possible.”

“I love you,” you said, bending down and kissing him. “You’re the expert on the falling in love stuff though so I’ll leave that up to you.”

“It’s very...it’s what you think it is and it’s not at all what you think. There’s falling and nerves and then calm and then falling and calm and you spend the rest of your life doing that. It’s not magic and it takes work to keep it alive sometimes but all you gotta do is talk. Just talk and it always seems to work out for me,” he said.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you asked. He nodded and smiled as you went back to playing with his hair.

“You know I really like when you do that,” he said.

“I know you do. It relaxes you,” you said.

“Makes me feel safe too,” he said. “But what’s your secret cause eventually I’m gonna want to know them all.”

“I was very attracted to you when we met. But that kinda freaked me out a bit. I found myself liking you a lot that first day I was here. You got me a birthday cake. I realized how kind you are that night. It wasn’t for anyone’s benefit other than my own. I had a crush on you, even though I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.”

“I had a crush on you from when you made me a cup of coffee. You’re so good and kind yourself,” he said. He reached up and cupped your cheek. “I’m really happy you had your mom eventually. I would have liked to have met her.”

“Maybe she and Dee are hanging out wherever they are.”

“I hope so. She won’t mind sharing me with you,” he said.

“You honestly think so?” 

“You gonna mind sharing me with her?” he asked.

“I’ve always shared you. Just hope that wouldn’t bother her.”

“I used to think maybe it would but no, she wants me to be happy and that’s you so you got all eternity to get to know each other eventually if you think about it.”

“Well when you put it that way we got nothing to worry about,” you said.

“Oh don’t worry about that. I think your mom was right. I get to have two people is all, kinda like she did,” he said. 

“She would have liked you. Would have said you’re a little old for me but she would have liked you.”

“Wasn’t she older than Ray?” he asked.

“Yeah. She was. She was only fifty,” you said.

“You grew up too fast,” he said quietly.

“Maybe. But it got me here and I don’t think I would have done anything different. I wouldn’t want to screw that up. Well I’d do one thing different.”

“What?”

“Drop by this house, have a conversation with a certain someone.”

“Say hypothetically you had that ability, you’d really do that knowing what you’re giving up?”

“I’d give her back to you right this second if I could.”

“I appreciate that, really,” he said. He let his hand fall down and reach around your back, curling around your waist. “But she’s not more important than you are. I miss her. Everyday. But I lose one of you either way in that scenario. And I can’t choose. I’ll never be able to. If she were here and you weren’t, I’d still be just like this. It’d still hurt.”

“Make me a promise. I keel over early, you try again. Try for both of us.”

“I will if you will,” he said. He held up his pinky finger and you grabbed it with yours. “But he can’t be hotter than me.”

“Equally as hot?”

“Slightly less hot but that’s my final offer,” he said. 

“Eh, fine,” you said. “You’ve worn me down.”

“Always words I want to hear,” he chuckled. You slid further down the couch until you were practically laying back, your arms wrapping around him. He got up and lay down with you on the wrap around side of the couch, pulling you into his chest. “Can I take you to dinner tonight? Just us.”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Okay, honey,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Just thanks. For what you said. What you did earlier, just being with me,” he said.

“Lucky for you I like being with you a whole lot,” you said.

“Very lucky for me,” he said. “Very lucky indeed.”

______

A/N: Read Part 11 here!

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Discs|Tommyinnit|

(Takes place as actual Minecraft)

Tommy adored listening to Music since he was younger because of his older brother, Wilbur. Tommy's childhood was something special to him. He had a loving family which consisted of a father and two older twins. His father better known as Philza Minecraft was the perfect father, he was protective of his children and made sure they weren't hurt. His older twins were almost like different people. Technoblade always had his guard up and never really shown his emotional side except when he needed to, which never really happened. Techno also loved Greek Mythology and could quote almost every story by heart. Wilbur was more into making songs and singing he never really enjoyed violence, so he would play on his guitar while Techno trained.

Aside from his family life he had two best friends which were just as important. Tubbo was his right-hand man and was the first person to talk to him. His other best friend, Y/n was the person who he could always lean on and wasn't afraid to show his raw emotions. Sure he wanted to show his tuff side but the day you saw him cry was the time Tommy realized he could rely on you the most. Don't get me wrong he could rely on Tubbo as well but he made sure to put on a tough act for the boy because of his family life.

Tubbo's family was not the best, his father would always yell and neglect him, let's not leave out the fact that he's a drunk. His father always likes that but after his mom died his dad was heartbroken and it affected him he didn't pay attention to how his son felt. Being 6 years old and his mother passing away Tubbo didn't have the best childhood. So Tommy made sure Tubbo could lean on him.

Tommy was certainly the ring leader of the gang. He always suggested pranks and decided on games to play. Tommy wasn't happy he was younger than Tubbo but was happy he was older than Y/n. He always felt the need to protect you with every strength he could muster. His favorite game showed that. They played a game many kids played, the Knight, Princess, and the villain. Of course, Tommy was the knight and you were the princess tubbo would be the villain but sometimes Wilbur would play with them. Wilbur being 11 towered over them and was much stronger than the little kids which would make it 10 times more fun.

On his 7th birthday, he had a small party nothing too big, just his family, you and Tubbo. Tubbo couldn't get him much so he made Tommy a bandana. Even though Tubbo felt bad he couldn't give Tommy anything grand Tommy appreciated the bandana and put it around his neck showing Tubbo he liked it. Wilbur, Techno, and Phil gave him a copy of the family photo. It was rare to be able to take a photo so getting a copy of one made it just as great of a gift. Then the final gift was from you. You knew he loved music so you tried to get at least one rare Disc, but you managed to get two.

He stared at the Discs in amazement quickly running to the old jukebox his father owned. He put in the disc Cat. He smiled at the sound of the music, let's just say it was his favorite birthday gift he ever got. He hugged you which made you blush but you hugged back smiling. The others were awed at the sight. Wilbur managed to take a quick picture and made a mental note to get it printed out. It cost a lot but the now 12-year-old would do anything for his little brother.

A few months later Tommy woke up to arguing between his brothers and father. He silently stepped down the stairs making sure to go as slow as possible.

"What is up with you lately dad! All you do is stay in your room! You left us to take care of Tommy ever since you got that stupid letter a few months ago! Tommy hasn't noticed because of us!" Techno whisper yelled trying not to wake up Tommy which was a little too late.

"Not only that but you try to redeem yourself by giving us small gifts! Sure I appreciate it but I know why you're doing it! You don't want anyone noticing you've been acting suspicious lately" Wilbur crossed his arms.

"Keep it down you're gonna wake your brother" Phil whispered trying to stall the sudden outburst by the twins.

Tommy ran upstairs quietly putting clothes on to run to your house. He climbed out his window carefully. He would occasionally climb out his window if he was grounded to walk to Tubbo's house or your house. Right now he was on the way to yours.

It took him 10 minutes to get to your house. He grabbed a small pebble and threw it at your window. He threw 2 more before you opened the window looking down at the boy.

"Tommy what are doing here," I said watching the boy climb up to my window. He looked upset. Sitting in my bed.

"They're fighting again..."

"Whos fighting?" I asked sitting next to him.

Tommy was looking down tears streaming his face.

"My brothers and dad" He whispered. "It happened last week too but it wasn't that bad but they've been fighting more recently and I don't like it" The 7-year-old sniffled.

"Do you know what they were arguing about?" I asked placing my hands gently on his.

"My dad has been acting differently apparently" He sighed wiping his tears " I didn't notice but apparently it's so obvious to Techno and Wilbur"

"Maybe your dad is working on something really important," I said not knowing how to fully answer.

"Probably" He muttered

"Hey, I know how to cheer you up!" I said running over to one of my chests.

I looked through a few chests trying to find a music disc to play for Tommy. When I finally found it I ran to the Jukebox and put it in the slot. The disc played Chirp throughout the room. I look over and saw Tommy smiling just a bit.

"How do you have so many Discs," Tommy asked standing up walking to the Jukebox.

"My grandpa had a bunch before he died, he gave them all to me because when I was younger all we did was listen to the discs" I smiled at the memory.

"So why did you give Cat and Mellohi to me?" He asked

"Because your my favorite person in the world" I looked at him smiling I could see his face turn red which made me giggle.

"You're my favorite person in the world too," Tommy said pulling me into a hug to which I hugged him back.

"Thank you..."

"Your welcome Toms"

He pulled away from the hug and looked out the window seeing the sun slowly rise.

"Oh crap, I have to go before I get caught" He panicked running to the window.

"wait!" I ran and grabbed Chirp from the Jukebox running to the window hanging me the disc. "Take it"

"But I thought-"

"Let that disc remind you of me if you ever need to let out your feelings"

"Thank you" He smiled kissing my cheek then climbing down the house.

"Thomas!" I shouted but still smiling.

"Bye" He grinned waving

"Be safe" I whispered watching him run off to his house.

Tommy ran as fast as he could to his house before the sun could rise any longer. He climbed up to his window jumping into his room. He was holding the disc carefully when he was climbing so he didn't scratch it. He laid in bed out of breath from running but thank god he made it back before anyone noticed.

A few weeks later you suddenly stopped coming over to play with him and Tubbo. Tommy just thought you had something to do with your family as you did every so often. Days turned into weeks. He sat every night looking at the picture Wilbur took on his birthday of you guys hugging. It didn't sit right that you hadn't shown up or even sent a message that you were away. It confused him.

The next day he begged his family to take him to your house. Yes, he knew how to get to your house but he still wanted one of his brothers to go with I'm knowing his father was still busy. Tommy asked Wilbur in the morning but Wilbur said he was busy today and maybe tomorrow. Tommy had to go today no matter what so he ran to Technoblade's room knocking on the door. Only for Techno to say he was busy and not to bother him.

He sighed knowing he would have to go himself. He put his jacket on and shoes. He walked out of the house and made his way over to your house. Tommy ran to your house concerned, he had a bad feeling and wanted to make sure you were okay.

He saw your house and sprinted faster when he arrived he walked to the door seeing it partially opened. He opened the door all the way seeing the inside of the house destroyed. He walked inside looking around.

"Y/n?" He said seeing shattered glasses on the ground.

"Y/n?!" He saw blood on the ground which made his breath hitch.

"Y/N!" He ran up to your room panicked only to be faced with a pool of blood on the floor.

"No no no no no no," He said his body giving out on him making him fall to the ground blood getting on his clothes and shoes.

He didn't bother to get up and leave. He physically couldn't get up his body was in a paralyzed state so he was forced to lay where you possibly died. his breath was heavy and it was like he had no oxygen in his lungs. he wanted to cry for help but the way he was breathing, it was useless to try. He eventually passed out due to a lack of oxygen.

When he woke up it was night. He still laid in your bedroom but this time he could actually breathe. He then realized he had been gone all day and didn't know what time of night it was. Tommy slowly got up looking at his bloodied clothes. His tears silently fell as he made himself walk back to his house. He wasn't bothered by the noises of the creatures around the area. He couldn't care less if he got hurt because he had a bigger wound that no one would ever be able to fix.

The house lights were on and he saw people sitting outside. He walked closer and saw his family with worried looks on their faces. When they heard footsteps they looked to see Tommy slowly making his way to the door. Wilbur immediately ran up to the little boy pulling him into a hug.

"You had us all fucking worried!" He pulled away from the hug only then noticing the blood. "Holy shit your hurt"

Tommy just stood there no words came out of his mouth as his brother brought him inside to check his "wounds". He was sat on the kitchen counter as Phil raced to grab the first aid kit. when Wilbur went to take Tommy's shirt off to clean the "wound" He says nothing but dried blood.

"Tommy?..."

"She's gone....."

"What?"

"Y/N IS GONE!" His sudden outburst made the 14-year-old jump.

"She's dead Wilby" He sobbed Wilbur pulled the boy into a hug and tried calming down the younger boy. Tommy eventually fell asleep and Wilbur changed him into his pajamas taking the bloody clothes to the washer.

10 years later he sat in exile he lost his precious Discs and was now sent out of the land that he built with Wilbur and Tubbo when Phil went missing and Technoblade left. Wil eventually died by his own father. It was the first time he had seen Phil in 10 years only to see him kill one of the only people who stuck by him.

He then lost Tubbo who exiled him for a stupid prank he did on George's house with Ranboo. Tommy wasn't the type to snitch on someone so he took the blow for Ranboo. He had officially lost everything he ever cared about, the only thing he had left was a picture of you and him hugging when he was 7 years old.

"Tommy?...."

"Y/n?!"

------------------------------------------------------- Just thought of this randomly. ✨YOU ARE AMAZING AND PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE! YOU ARE WORTH IT ON SO MANY LEVELS✨