#there's nothing terribly exciting in this for this year but I'm posting it anyway so I can look back at the end of 2023

[dru-reblogs-stuff]

I posted 6,743 times in 2022

28 posts created (0%)

6,715 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/derinthescarletpescatarian

@/fireflysummers

@/headspace-hotel

@/tracle0

I tagged 6,685 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#q - 6,551 posts

#snrk 🤣 - 1,484 posts

#cute - 437 posts

#nature - 388 posts

#landscape - 245 posts

#planes trains and automobiles - 156 posts

#history - 151 posts

#eat all the things - 148 posts

#lbgt+ - 142 posts

#<3 - 137 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i'll prob go again tomorrow and maybe take a better vid of the waves from the sandy bit of beach. it was so clear but there were a lot of

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ten characters, ten fandoms

I was tagged by @downontheupside, thanks Choi <3

Hiccup, How to Train your Dragon: Race to the Edge

Meredith Gruksdottir, Titan Fighting Fantasy (Ssshh I know this is my friend's character, but we're a fandom all on our two-some, I swear)

Modryn Oreyn, TESIV: Oblivion

Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV, Cowboy Bebop

Kei, Dirty Pair Flash

Thorin, son of Thrain, The Hobbit (films)

Sara Parvan, The Undeclared War

Donna Noble, Doctor Who (10th Doc)

Darian Frey, Tales of the Ketty Jay

Sypha Belnades, Castlevania (TV show)

Tagging: Anyone who fancies playing! (I really need to get a general games taglist ^.^')

4 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#4

Happy Tag Game

I got retagged in this by @my-writblr, TY cariad :D

Rules: When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications! :)

I just got a new desk! So much more space :D My brother kindly helped me with a tip-run so I also have less crap in the house overall ^.^

LIFX bulbs - Mine died a few months ago, so I've been putting up with a crappy CFL which makes waking up - even in summer - really difficult and makes me feel disassociated in the evening. I've just got a new LIFX bulb; being slowly woken by a bright white light in the mornings is wonderful.

Sun puddles - Now summer is getting closer, there're more puddles of sunlight in the lounge and the desire to just curl up and sleep in them is way too strong ^.^;

My tiny balcony garden (and adjacent indoor plants). Spurred on by the new desk purchase, I went out and bought some balcony baskets, so now my "garden" consists of: a blueberry bush from last year (B/Day gift from my Mum); an unwanted tomato plant from my Uncle; two flower pots; a strawberry plant; a Bird of Paradise; a cactus, a succulent, and an Amaryllis.

Having short hair - I hate having long hair during the summer, it's hard to handle, makes my face hot and itchy and is just a PITA. So I got it cut recently, and now it's blissfully short again :D

As I don't have a general tag games list, I'm going to tag the last 10 people in my notifs as instructed.

Dear last 10 people in my notifs, please feel free to ignore this if you don't fancy playing.

@lavender-hued-melancholy, @nostalgic-breton-girl, @downontheupside, @chasing-givenchy, @sleepyowlwrites, @endless-navigator, @asphaltvalkyrie, @strosmkai-rum, @catharticallysarcastic, @aalinaaaaaa

5 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#3

Get to Know Tag

I got tagged in this by @iparisaltanwing and @lowslore. Thanks guys <3

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know/catch up with

Favorite color: Still purple, but am very much enjoying the “it’s just snowed and now the sky is clear again” brilliant-but-somehow-translucent blue

Last song: The Gent and I listened to a lot of classical rock while cooking over the Xmas break, but I cannot recall the last one I heard. Probably something by AC/DC or Led Zeppelin ^.^;

Currently reading: Nothing; I am between worlds right now. However I got given a load of books over Xmas, so I’ll probably start with “Rain: Four Walks in English Weather“ by Melissa Harrison

Last movie at home: Wish Dragon. It’s basically “Aladdin, only the Genie is a Dragon”, but it still gave me a punch to the heart.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: Spicy. I’m having a small craving for something with ginger in it rn (although I’m still all three as and when)

Currently working on: A prompt from the Homestead’s Fall Prompt Week; as yet untitled, it’s a short story turning the concept of good/ evil being light/ dark on its head. Also the first draft of The Ruby Falls, a modern/ fix-it AU of TESIV: Oblivion.

Tagging: @strosmkai-rum @chauceryfairytales @morganwriteblr @warriorbookworm @odysseywritings @spacetimewraithwrites @jaguarthecat @dreamwishing @alias-levi (IDK who’s still active or still wants tag games, so please let me know if you want taken off this list)

6 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

#2

Autumn This-or-That

Yoinked from @blind-the-winds, because it looked fun.

tea or hot chocolate | cozy books or halloween movies | plaid or corduroy | foggy mornings or twinkly nights | orange or black | pumpkin or apple pie | wool or velvet | picking fruit or carving pumpkins | libraries or coffee shops | cinnamon or peanut butter | spooky or cozy halloween | candles or fairy lights

Tagging: @lavender-hued-melancholy, @nostalgicyorkshiregirl and anyone else who fancies!

8 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Pass the happy! Tag Game 🌻

Rules: When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications! :)

I also got tagged by @shadowlight-inkedthoughts in this, the same million years ago ^.^' Hom...

Being so close to finally getting a certain someone out of my life

Rediscovering my passion for cooking

Yummy teas (raspberry lemonade, my beloved)

Yummy cocktails (went out to dinner now restrictions are lifting and had a Cherry Bakewell cocktail)

Lego flowers

I'm going to tag my usual writeblr tag game list. Again, this is outside the scope of that list, so there's zero pressure to play.

@strosmkai-rum @spacetimewraithwrites @wildswrites @tetrodotoxincs @odysseywritings @ayzrules @morganwriteblr @my-writblr @bexminx @writingingraves @dreamwishing @aalinaaaaaa @wardenoftheabyss @pleaseloathemyveryexistence @jaguarthecat @alias-levi

11 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[idesofrevolution]

Requiescat

"Alright, my Musical Mentees, welcome back to my Channel! I am your friendly neighborhood musical critic, Kyle Donaghue, and today we're going to be reviewing something a little bit out of our typical wheelhouse!" Kyle sat with feigned excitement in front of his webcam. Though on the outside he eagerly drew out his intro for the 250th episode of his "Musique Critique" web series, internally he was livid. The young YouTuber had dreamed of becoming the go-to modern music critic on the platform but after almost two years of barely breaking a thousand views, he recognized he needed to do some market research on what his 347 subscribers wanted to see.

Thus, after asking his audience for requests, the music of some newer wannabe rockstar gained traction to be reviewed. To the music conservatory graduate, such low-brow "music" was beneath him; yet reality dictated that the business of content creation was based upon supply and demand. His audience demanded it, and if he wanted to gain any traction whatsoever, he needed to pivot. So, when the band in question, Catalyst, announced a new single drop, Kyle decided he was going to be the very first reviewer to tear it a new one.

"So you guys have been requesting I listen to this band called 'Catalyst' for a long time now, and today is finally the day. Apparently, the lead singer of Catalyst announced a few days ago that a new single was going to be released. I haven't heard much about them, so I did a bit of digging." Kyle clicked around on his computer, dredging up whatever he found in his five minutes of "research" the night before. "So, this band literally came out of nowhere. They're independent and are in talks with some record company about a deal, but nothing has come of it yet, so I'm going into this completely blind. They're out of Austin, Texas, and it's four guys who started the band out of this lead singer's parent's garage. The guy's name is Jaxon Black."

Kyle was literally reading off of some Tumblr fan blog about all this, but his audience certainly didn't need to know that. Why would he put in any effort for a band of this low caliber? "Black is 27 years old and started the band in 2013 when the four of them were in high school. They haven't really found any success, which is one of the reasons I'm surprised you wanted me to review them in the first place. They play in dive bars and some small venues, but nothing really outside of that." Scrolling through the blog, a picture of Jaxon Black actually appeared on the feed. He looked like any run-of-the-mill traditionally hot bad boy that you could find on the cover of GQ. What was so special about him?

"So, it's interesting too. This guy looks completely different than he did back when the band was formed. I totally get he was a kid when he started it, and there's puberty and whatever. But I mean, can you say plastic surgery? C'mon, guys. This guy is a 'serious musician' to you all?" Kyle sighed and wiped his face clear of the disgust he felt inside, putting on the eager façade he felt he needed to emulate. "But for you guys, I will make an exception, I'll give Jaxon Black and Catalyst a chance. I'm doing this for you! Just know that!" With that, he began to screen share, and the handsome visage of Jaxon Black was plastered on his screen as it would be for the whole review. The single didn't have any album art or anything, it was just a Soundcloud link; so in hopes that his audience would see right through this charade, he let would make them look at the face of the man who wrote whatever terrible song he was preparing to hear.

"See what I mean, guys? Ugh. I'm sorry, anyways. Here it is. The link that's posted on this fan blog brings me to Soundcloud, and there's no title or anything. It's just called 'Untitled', so we're off to a great start. But like I said, let's give the guy a chance. So without further ado, here is Catalyst's 'Untitled.'" With the press of the space bar, the sound of a slower ballad began to play through his earbuds.

The song began with a slow and heavy bassline in A flat Locrian, immediately an odd choice to start with. Contrarian, in Kyle's opinion. In terms of influence, it was an odd mixture of stereotypical hard rock like Guns n' Roses or Aerosmith, prog rock like Yes and Pink Floyd, with a random hint of Santana? Kyle did his best to stifle the cringe which trickled down his spine, but his face could do nothing to hide it. He felt the corners of his lip tense up and purse, his left nostril tweaking in pure annoyance.

"Starting off in Locrian... that's an interesting choice." He muttered under his breath. Looking at the progress bar, he saw the song was a full seven minutes and thirty-six seconds long. Lovely. "I feel like this is gonna be 'Hotel California' but bad, not gonna lie to you guys." Though, as the electric guitar faded in, quiet and subtle, it took Kyle by surprise. The technique that Black employed in his riffs, with precision he'd rarely heard outside of a classical guitarist, was nothing short of impressive. "Okay, the guy's got some skill. I'll give him that."

The music felt lugubrious, giving the sensation of swimming through a vat of molasses, pushing and pulling at great tension. It was near impossible for him to put into words, but the gravelly tenor timbre of Black's voice deftly began to soar atop the dredging music below. Evoking Eddie Vetter or perhaps even Jon Bon Jovi, the words were not exactly easy to decipher. Frankly, the song was almost trancelike, as if he'd taken a handful of mushrooms before embarking on his musical journey.

"Guys, I don't know how to explain it, this shouldn't work but it... it kind of does? I don't... I don't know." Kyle leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. The song had actually piqued his interest and intrigue, it was unlike anything he'd ever really heard before. Yet, it felt so familiar in ways far outside his comprehension. Waves of goosebumps washed across his body, barrage after barrage. The music became a full-body experience, and he was rendered speechless for the first time in his life. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Kyle tried his best to analyze the theory engrained into the song but found his mind to be a mere void that was seemingly being filled with viscous liquid. The longer the song went on, the more his mind felt entirely numb.

"I'm... I'm impressed, guys..." Words began to falter, his tongue feeling swollen and heavy. Behind his closed eyes, ribbons of bright colors danced against the black backdrop, bursts of red and purple illuminating the periphery like clouds of heat lightning. He could feel the notes meandering through the air and landing on his body, pressing down with the force of a boulder each time. "He's... he's really good, guys..." A thick dribble of saliva oozed through the gap in his open lips.

It was as if he was being drained of all his energy, all of his willpower, every last ounce of strength which propelled him to live. And yet, despite the darkness he could feel creeping over his body, he was oddly at peace. As if moving of their own accord, Kyle felt himself shuck his shirt from his body, now covered in a sprinkling of sweat across his limber torso and head. The music pulsated from within him as if he were the amp himself, seemingly making the muscles in his arms expand and contract. "I can... I can feel him in there..." Kyle couldn't even fathom how he'd gotten here. He was in his room, sitting in his chair and yet, he was somehow with Black, inside the music. With every heavy pick of the bass, his biceps began to swell and firm; veins distinctly snaked down his strong forearms and into his callousing fingers. His body temperature was now sweltering, shedding every ounce of water and liquid within him into the beadlets of sweat which cascaded down from his thickening pecs and cobbling abs.

The drums and synthesizer came in, further enriching the already complicated chords which tickled his ear like a soft, warm breath. The bass line was an ebb and flow, weaving and bobbing as the song soared through the chorus, a melody that sent a ripple of lust across his body. It was as if he were on a ship in a storm, one which was luring him deeper into the dark waters as his thighs began to balloon out of the sweat-stained shorts he wore. The power of the music seeped into his veins, imbuing him with a foreign energy from a distant shore beyond his corporeal being. His calves spasmed and inflated, while his feet stretched out wider and stronger in his quickly ripening socks.

Black's voice was now all that Kyle could hear in his head, every indecipherable word rang as some existential truth. Kyle's thoughts were no longer his own, he was just along for the ride, a passenger in his own mind. He was no longer in control of his actions, nor his thoughts. His breathing had become heavier, slower... The music had invaded his very being and taken control. Spatterings of black ink began to sprawl across his glistening smooth skin, each with some sort of esoteric reference which he would not yet understand. Grim Reapers, skulls, geometric designs of unhuman origin now proudly displayed across his strong body.

"Fuuuck, man. This shit is amazing..." His voice gradually grew scratchy and smoky from years of singing for crowds of headbanging punks in cramped, smelly bars. He reached to his left, eyes still closed in euphoric bliss, snatching the small joint which now sat on the edge of his desk. Kicking his sweaty, buttery feet up onto the wooden surface, he brought the smoking j to his lips, dragging a heavy dose of creative vapor into his powerful lungs. "Fuckin' hell, you guys... I mean... shit." He blew out a heavy, grey plume of smoke from his wide nostrils. "This song is fuckin' incredible."

He pulled down his shorts and briefs, letting his lean but long dripping cock slap against his navel. Strings of pre seeped out of his pulsating cockhead, making winding rivers flowing down toward his sagging sac. A large prince albert ring now adorned the top of his uncut shaft, with three frenum piercings towing down his urethra in succession. The slightest touch from his calloused fingers wreaked immeasurable pleasure, radiating from the groin all across every inch of his body. Thus, as he wrapped his hand tightly around the limber shaft, gently caressing the prince albert with the tip of his index finger, he could barely breathe without a quiet moan escaping his throat. Quickly, the fondling turned into a measured, intentional pump with each beat of the music.

The drums and bass were now coming together in a thunderous crescendo, Kyle could feel his very blood bubbling beneath his skin as it made his way up his strong neck and toward his skull as he hastened his pace. The room around him began to blur and distort. Bookshelves formerly lined with music theory textbooks and repertoires of classical mainstays were warped into racks of well loved guitars: Fender, Gibson, Sqiuer, & Ibanez. The pristine white duvet-covered bed was now clad with sleek black satin sheets and a shiny vinyl comforter. The portraits of famous composers which once adorned the wall were now a collage of posters: Black Sabbath, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Metallica, AC/DC, The Ramones, Aerosmith, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden. Piles of ripped up, weathered clothes, marinating in the sweat of shows past now littered the dingy red carpet.

The blood had finally arrived at the precipice of his brain, and like a tidal wave crashing against the rocks, it overtook him. His hair darkened to a deep black, his brows furrowed, his lips now plump and curled into a permanent cocky smirk. This was his kind of music. This was his genre. This was the message he was born to bring to the masses. It was a message of rebellion, of raging against the corporate machine of whitewashed mass-marketed culture. A flash of bright red and teal illuminated the room from behind Kyle's closed eyes as rope after rope of his spunk shot from his cock onto the laptop and camera. He roared in climax, louder than he'd intended, but nothing his neighbors were unfamiliar with in regards to the activities the apartment notoriously beheld.

The music had stopped, the final note hung in the air for a moment before retreating back into the abyss as his shorts melted into a dense magenta slime, moving down his muscular legs until they covered his entire lower half before hardening into slick gator skin pleather pants and a pair of beat up black combat boots wafting the scent of his musky feet. Axel opened his now black eyes, letting out a sigh of complete satisfaction.

"Now that's what I call fuckin' music, man! See why I wanted ya to experience it? It's like a requiem for corporate machine, man. That's why Catalyst is my fuckin' muse. Their music is gonna take over the whole fuckin' world." A loud pinging signaled Axel to check his phone, where his bandmates, performing as Hammerthrow, were confirming their next gig in L.A. "Fuck yeah, guys. Just landed the Cali gig. I'm thinking we cover this masterpiece and mind fuck them into oblivion. Catch us in Azuza next week, kids. You don't wanna miss it." With that, he ended his recording, smirking mischievously as he uploaded it to his channel. The song certainly was going to change the world, even if the world itself wasn't ready.

[eluminium]

Skizz week day 2 lets GOO!!!!

I apologize for the lack of polish on these. I have seemingly caught a cold and am also in the middle of important schoolwork. But hey, it's better than nothing!

Anyway, this is kind of a sneak peek into an AU I've been working on. It doesn't have a name yet, but it sure exists! I hope I can post about it more when I have more things to work with!

Once again, thank you to @skizzlemanweek for todays prompt!

Prompt 2: Hybrid/AU

-

Impulse has lost his mind.

That's the only logical conclusion to this situation. To him sitting here on his dead best friend's bed while talking to said best friend who's apparently ascended to godhood? But he doesn't know what kind of God he is yet somehow? He also may have given Impulse some knowledge about the divine that Impulse is 75% sure he isn't supposed to know, even as his best god friend's semi-accidental oracle and/or priest. Probably. Maybe.

It's been a rough couple of hours, to say the least.

"Impulse! You're not listening to me!" A voice, Skizz's voice, echoes through his head. Impulses hands fly to his ears as he groans in pain. "Control your volume, dude! You're gonna blow out my ears!" He hisses.

"Oh...! Sorry...!" Skizz whisper-yells in response, although not without a mischievous giggle. Oh gods above, Impulse was gonna have to deal with SKIZZ. TALKING IN HIS BRAIN. UNINTERUPRABLY. FOR THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE. He shakes his head to try and get rid of that awful realization and quickly moves to change the subject before Skizz catches on.

"Alright, so. You became a God, but you don't know what of. So you appeared back here and found me. And you want me to help you figure out what you are the God of. Did I get that right?" He summarizes, looking at the faint blue outline of his best friend sitting on the same bed they spent years having pillow fights on in their youth-

Skizz sticks out his hand and does a so-and-so motion. "Well, yeah...But since I picked you as my oracle, as in my special important mortal representative guy, you're also gonna have to start my cult and get people to worship me!" He exclaims, clearly excited at the prospects. 

"Wow, we really got a Mr. Humble Guy over here," Impulse deadpans.

"HEY! You know I'm not in it for the fame, man! Even though I am really handsome and my godly muscles are huge!" Skizz huffs in mock offense. Impulse rolls his eyes in response.

But instead of another sarcastic quip, the barely visible parts of Skizz's face soften into something dangerously genuine. "I mean it, dude. Think about it. Think about how cool this is gonna be. Think about how deadly we are as a duo now that we have divine power behind us. Think about how many people we can help!"

"But we don't even know what you're the God of!" Impulse snaps with a glare. "How are we supposed to get people to join in on this when we can't gurantee anything?! And don't say 'We'll make something up', you KNOW I'm a TERRIBLE liar! I can't lead a whole freaking cult by myself! I need yo-"

His throat closes up. He can't say that. Because that would mean Skizz couldn't help him, that his best friend was...not with him in some way. That he was alone in this, for now. No, no it's too raw. He breaks eye contact as his eyes snap towards a corner of the room. He draws in a shaky breath and blinks rapidly. 

"Dipple Dop..." Skizz's tone is...sad. He reaches out towards Impulse before remembering that he can't really...touch him. Nor can he touch anything mortal, really. He needs belief for that, followers who believe in him. 

A sigh leaves him as he retracts his hand. "I know this is a lot for you. To be honest, it's a lot for me too. You're scared, and I'm scared. And you're probably thinking something like: 'This is a total disaster, we're so screwed'-"

Huh, that was...exactly what Impulse was thinking. To the word. Weird.

"-but man, dude, my homieh buddeah-"

Impulse can't help but snort at that one. The man is a god now, and yet he's still just Skizz.

"We got all the time in the world to do this. We don't have to rush this. We'll make a plan. We'll do our research! The big fancy library we used to study at had a bunch of books about the gods and stuff, remember? Maybe we can find the step-by-step guide to finding your godly trait and a "How to Cult for Dummies"! Gee, wouldn't that be convinient!"

They're both giggling now. Why? They don't fully know. Probably the absurdity of sneaking into a royal library to read the most suspicious books of all time is getting to them. But, somehow, there's a glow of warmth in Impulse's chest. A feeling he's been missing ever since Skizz unwillingly left the mortal realm for the divine.

Hope.

As the giggling dies down, a timid smile settles on Impulse's face. Gods, how does Skizz do it? How does he make Impulse believe in some new goal that fast? Well, he supposes he can blame it on magical god powers now. Hell yeah.

He takes a deep breath in, jumps off the bed, and stands up. "Alright, I'm in. What's the worst that could happen?" He says with attempted confidence. Despite Skizz certainly detecting his lingering anxiety, he jumps up (or well, floats) up in the air beside him with a barely seeable hand pumped up in the air.

"Allllright!!! Imp and Skizz are reunited and back on the case! I love it!" He cheers.

Impulse wastes no time in heading to their shared kitchen and grabbing a snack for the road. The library isn't far (perks of living in the capital) but hey, emotional rollercoasters tend to leave ya a bit tired. A snack for the road never hurt anybody!

Skizz unexpectedly chuckles. "Except that one time you decided to shove jello in your backpack," he points out.

Impulse freezes.

"...Are there more things in my head than just your voice?" He questions while slowly turning around to face Skizz. Skizz, in response, raises an eyebrow.

"Of course! I know everything going on in there! That's what happens between a God and their oracle!" He says like it's common knowledge.

"So you know all my deep dark secrets now?"

"Well, kinda!"

"Does the "kinda" include how much I missed you?"

"Awww yeah!!! I know you love me soooo muuuchhh now!"

"God damn it- I hate you. You SUCK." 

At Impulse's overly sulky tone, Skizz giggles like the sacred bastard he is. And once again, something cozy and soft glows and grows in Impulse's chest. It feels...good. Happy. Like it's right as it should be. And looking at the faded form of his best friend, he knows Skizz feels it growing too.

Maybe, even with all the responsibility and having Skizzleman but now with divine powers in his head 24/7, this won't be so bad. 

Maybe this could become something great.

[seenoversundown]

Sparrow Of the Dawn : Chapter 2

Warnings: Drinking, Self deprecating humor, otherwise fluff - unfortunately comedic themes.

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary : Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor.

Author's Note: I was too excited for you to meet Willa officially, and want you to love her as much as I do! The official posting schedule for Sparrow of The Dawn will be on Sundays. Things are only beginning for these two and boy does it get GOOOD. 💜

You’re So Vain - Carly Simon “You’re so vain You probably think this song is about you”

Honestly speaking, I don’t even know why I’m here. Dating is not something that is hugely important to me. I like my independence too much and really there is nothing a man can do for me that I can’t already do for myself. I said what I said. But Katie swore up and down that this guy, Jeff, was a good guy, and I needed to get out of the house. Or, at least, I thought I wanted to get out of the house until this morning. 

My roommate Quinn has been going through a terrible, messy breakup with a complete ASS of a man. It’s their first break-up I’m going through with them; even though we met in college a few years ago, they’ve never really dated much. In my attempt to cheer them up, though they don’t seem like they really need it, I went to the farmers market to grab them some flowers and ran into another complete ASS of a man. It has left me feeling a bit hopeless regarding the male species. 

So anyway, here I am.. At a bar.. On a first date. He clearly put a lot of effort into this. He didn’t bother to get out of the car when he came to pick me up, didn’t open the front door when we got here, and he’s wearing a Celtics jersey over a white t-shirt and Timberlands. Not exactly my type, but I'm trying hard not to let my shitty day sour my mood and attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt. I, however, wore a short black sleeveless dress with a high neck, a black leather blazer jacket, tights, and ankle boots because I was trying to impress him. Like I said, the difference in effort is astounding.

After getting our IDs checked by the tall, curly-headed bouncer, we settle into a booth toward the back, looking over the paper menu at the drink specials. I’m surprised there isn’t a QR code menu here. I heard the owner of this place was fairly young, and most places nowadays use QR codes over regular menus.

“What are you going to get?” I ask Jeff, trying to make conversation. He’s busy looking at his phone instead.

“Huh?” not even bothering to look up at me, “Oh, uhm, I’ll probably just get a bud light or something.”

Riiiiight, okay. I really should have stayed home. I let out a huff of air, resting my chin against my hand. Bored with lack of conversation and an underwhelming date, I take to people-watching. There’s so much life in this bar tonight, such a stark contrast to the man sitting across from me. People in their costumes, brightly colored wigs, all adorning smiles and laughing loudly. The red hue from the neon lights and colorful display of the jukebox only added to the atmosphere. Carly Simon sings to me through the speakers. I close my eyes, listening to her words, I always loved this song. I wonder if he’d even notice if I left and weaseled my way into one of these stranger’s tables instead. No, probably not. 

“So, do you want a beer or something?” Jeff asks plainly. 

“Yeah, I’ll just have one of whatever you’re having.” I don’t even like beer that much. I’m more of a rum kind of gal. Something tells me he wants to be here as much as I do and doesn’t actually care what I’d like to drink.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” I give him a small smile as he gets up and heads toward the bar to place our order. At least he’s starting a tab for us; I can count that as a win. 

My eyes scan the bar once more, searching for a form of entertainment, when I spot him behind the bar, standing next to a shorter man with a mustache who looks eerily similar to him. The guy from the flower truck. They’re both staring at me, but only one of them has the decency to look away when I make eye contact, and it's not the flower guy. What the ever-loving fuck is he doing here? Does he work here? There’s no way he’s the owner. No way. Right? I avert my gaze as Jeff returns with two bottles of Bud Light, sliding me one across the table. I internally sigh, knowing this date is going to drag. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Maybe if I squint, my ears will start to focus and listen to what Jeff is actually saying. I have no idea what he’s been going on about, but I swear it’s been  half an hour, and I’ve retained nothing. Is he talking about sports? His job? A hobby? 

“I think they’ll probably end up making a trade,” he says, his phone still in his hand.

Literally no fucking idea. It's not like he’s taken any interest in me or made any attempt to make this conversation anything other than one-sided. I opt to search for him again, curiosity taking its hold on my eyes. 

“You guys all set?” Flower truck guy says, right behind me. It startles me so bad I jump a little, causing me to knock over my half-drunk beer. 

“Shit,” I say, standing up and trying to find some napkins, “I’m so sorry.” God, can this night get any worse?

“Oh fucks sake,” Jeff says just as it spills onto his lap. “Are you kidding me?” All he does is glare at me with his hands up, helpless. Yes. Yes, it can get worse, apparently.

Flower truck guy sets down the towel previously stored in his back pocket and starts to wipe up my mess. Great, I’ve spilled my drink on my date, and as boring as he is, I still wanted to make a good impression, and the guy who took all the irises I wanted to get for Quinn is now cleaning up my mess. I can’t believe how much of a disaster this is right now. 

“Katie didn’t say you were so fucking clumsy,” his annoyed tone is like knives against my brain. 

“It was an accident, Jeff,” I say, throwing him back some attitude. 

He takes the towel right from Flower Boy's hand and starts to try to clean himself up. In realizing it's a bit too wet from mopping up the table he tosses it back to him. 

“God, girls,” he rolls his eyes and elbows Flower Boy, “amiright?”

“Yeahhh, don’t bring me into that commentary, champ.” Flower boy raises his eyebrows. Jeff scoffs at him and turns, heading toward, what I can assume is the bathroom. 

I sit back down in my chair and rest my head in my hands. “Good god,” I say aloud, mostly to myself. I can count on two hands how many times I’ve thought about the fact that I should have stayed home. Next time, I’ll trust my gut. It’s damn near never led me astray. 

“What a winner you got there, dagger fingers.” 

I lift my head then and glare at him for the second time that day. Dagger fingers? I don’t care how unsuccessful my date is going or how much of a douchebag he just was. I will not let this man get the better of me again. I take a deep breath in through my nose, trying to calm down.

“Would you be happy if you just got a drink spilled on you? No, I don’t suppose you would be.” I try to lay the snark on thick. 

He looks around confused, “Last time I checked..Yeah,” he shakes his head up and down aggressively, “Yeah, I do work in a bar. Do you have any idea how often that occurs?” It's my turn to scoff. “You really shouldn’t defend that guy. He’s a dick. He brings all his dates here. He was literally here two days ago with a different girl. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” He reaches for the discarded towel and walks off. 

Oh, this guy. The fucking audacity of this guy. Who the hell does he think he is? I immediately grab my pocketbook and jacket and stalk after him, following his footsteps all the way to the counter where he’s handing the shorter guy from earlier the tray and towel he had been holding. 

“Do you know what your fucking problem is?” I huff out, jabbing him in the chest with my finger. You call my fingers daggers, and I’ll use them as such. I set my purse on the counter to my right and slip on my jacket. 

Mustache man lets out a loud laugh, “Oh sweetheart, you don’t even know the half of it.”

“Uhm.. Ow?” he says, rubbing at his shoulder. “And you, shut up. I wanna know exactly what my problem is. This should be good.” He crosses his arms against his chest. Waiting. In my flurry of anger, I hadn’t exactly worked out what his problem actually is. Just that he seems fucking arrogant and has been a thorn in my side one too many times today. “She doesn’t even know me. She’s just accosted me, twice in one day, in fact, and is now making assumptions based on nothing. Thanks for that, by the way, I don’t know how I got to be so lucky.” he finishes. 

I can see the surprised look on Jake’s face in my periphery. “Aww,” I place my hand on my chest, “cute of you to talk about me already. I’ll tell you, I am a bit surprised, though, considering you think you’re the only person to walk the planet. It’s like the whole world revolves around you. Flower Boy’s world, and we're all just livin’ in it." I emphasize my sentiment with a dramatic roll of my eyes. 

Another howl of laughter escapes the peanut gallery to my right. Flower Boy rubs his fingers across his chin, eyes narrowing on me. “Yeah, I’m clearly the problem here. But it’s not my date that’s sneaking out the front door and leaving me with the bill, now is it, Babydoll ?” He raises his eyebrows toward the entrance. As I follow his line of sight toward the door, I just make out the back of Jeff’s head as it closes behind him. Wonderful. I turn back around, and my eyes land on the smirk resting on his lips. If he wasn’t so cocky in this moment, I might appreciate that smirk. The thought alone only serves to fuel my anger.

“Hey,” Jake says, tapping the bar rapidly to get our attention, effectively drawing my gaze away from his lips, “Listen, I would love to listen to you humble Sammy boy here. But you’re slowly entertaining the entire bar. Either talk it out quietly or go get some fresh air… Please.” 

I pause to glance around at the eyes trained on us. A wave of embarrassment washes over me. Taking that opportunity to dig through my bag, I pull out a twenty-dollar bill and slam it onto the counter, looking Sammy Boy directly in the eyes. “Thanks for the amazing hospitality, Jake. I’ll make sure to give you a 5-star review. You deserve it, dealing with this schmuck.” 

As I exit, I pull out my phone and step to the side, trying to order myself an Uber now that I’ve been abandoned. I swear to god, Katie is never going to hear the end of this when I see her next. I tap through the app and hit another extraordinary stroke of luck today. There are no drivers available. The heavy creek of the front door opens, and Flower Noy.. Sammy pops his head out. There is nowhere for me to hide, fuck.

As he approaches me, he has his hands up in mock surrender. “Look, why don’t you just have a seat at the bar? We’ll get a replacement drink.. On the house, you can just hang out for a bit.” He then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out my twenty from earlier and hands it to me. I snatch it from him with a bit more force than I intend. Why is he being nice to me now? And why is it so irritating? 

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I swipe the notification. A driver has picked up my ride, oh thank god. 

“I’d rather rot in hell, actually.” I regret the words as soon as they're out of my mouth. I regret them even more when I dare to look him in the face. I may not like him, but it's not his fault my date was an asshole. He’s just the unfortunate person to continually be on the receiving end of.. Well me. I can feel the will to stay angry start to dissipate as the guilt takes over; I’m more tired and ready for this day to be over than anything right now. 

Sammy just sighs loudly, mumbling under his breath, “Not sure why I even bother,” before disappearing back inside. Ugh. 

When the Uber arrives, I slide my phone back into my purse and hop into the back seat. Thankfully, my driver is a man of few words, in lieu of conversation, I instead let the words of ‘Crimson and Clover’ dance around my ears. 

“When she comes walking over

Now I've been waitin' to show her

Crimson and clover”

I lean my head back against the headrest, my emotions hitting a breaking point. I really can’t remember the last time I suffered such a series of unfortunate events. Finally boiling over, a single tear spills from my eye. Wiping it away quickly, I shake my head. You do not cry. I tell myself. You do not cry.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I shut the front door to my apartment and lean against it. The highest, feral scream escapes my mouth, and I slink down, sitting on my heels. I hear Quinn’s footsteps and a quick shut of their bedroom door before I see them round the corner. The heavy thuds running to my aid. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, are you okay?” They say exasperatedly, hanging on to their bedroom doorway. “You’d have thought you were being murdered with a scream like that.”

“If I lay down on the floor, can you just drop something heavy on my skull and put me out of my misery?” I look over to them, displeasure written all over my face. They make their way into the living room sitting on the couch and propping their feet up on the coffee table.

“I take it the date didn’t go well?” My only response is a glare. “Do we need a therapy session then?”

“How much time do you have?” I frown. 

They take their phone out of their back pocket, tapping a few times. “Yeah, my schedule is clear tonight.” Sending me a small smile. 

“I just.. Urrrrrgh,” I stand in a huff, shrugging off my jacket and discarding it next to my purse on the floor. “I definitely should have never left the house today. Period. At all. For anything.” I whine. Taking a moment to unzip my boots and kick them off, adding to my pile, and finally sliding my feet into my comfy slippers.

“Firstly, there was that whole guy and the flowers I told you about this morning, right?” The sounds of my slippers scuff against the hardwood floor as I pace back and forth. “Then that date Katie set me up on, Jeff? Boring as hell. I mean, he immediately gave me ehh vibes when he couldn’t be bothered to come meet me at the door, but.. Whatever. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.” I dramatically wave my arms around. “Because I’m trying to be nice and not close myself off. We get to the bar, he can’t be bothered to look up from his fucking phone at all. Then, guess who I see there? AT the bar?” 

“.. who?” Quinn inquires

“The fricken GUY from the flower truck! The world is too small, I swear to GOD. ANYWAY.” I run my hands down my face. “So Jeff finally decides he wants to speak actual words to me. Does he ask me any questions about myself? NO, he just rants about I dont know, only god knows what because I couldn’t fucking tell you. Flower guy sneaks up behind me to check on our table because I guess he works there or something, and he scares the SHIT out of me, and I spill my drink.. Where? ALL over Jeff's lap. It was sooooo cute.” I drop my arms to my sides, and my hands smack against my thighs. The sound reverberates through the open room. When I look back at Quinn, they’re staring at their bedroom door. Weird but okay.

“I’ve pretty much prayed to the cosmic universe to swallow me up at this point in the evening but then what happens? Arrogant Flower Boy decides to sass me about my date, so I yelled at him. His brother behind the bar was cackling, listening to the whole thing, and then he basically kicked me out. Well.. he told us to shut up or fight outside essentially. And then flower boy.. I don’t know, tried to make amends or something and offered me a drink on the house, and I kinda told him to eat shit...” I push my lips out and give Quinn an innocent side eye, ready for them to read me for filth. “.. and poked him.. Again.” I add, finally. One could say I didn’t handle the course of events correctly today. One could even say that I was a tad bit more rude than necessary. One could say that, not me but… ya know, one could. 

“So,” They pause, “how cute is Flower Boy?”

“I mean, he’s got a really great smile. Even if he only uses his mouth to talk shit – Hey. Wait.” I hold up my pointer finger. “Out of everything I've said to you, that's where you ended up?”

“I mean, I’m not going to say you spent more time talking about him than your date.. But you spent more time talking about him than your date, Wills.” they glance down at their phone. 

I cannot help but defend myself. “That’s because he is single handedly the most annoying person I have come across in the last like.. Month.”

A ding comes from their bedroom, and I look towards their door with my eyebrows raised. If their phone is in their hand..

They clear their throat, “Sure, so did you want solutions, or did you need to yell?” They rush out, “Because if it’s solutions, we have a bat in the closet, and I have some knitting needles in my room. Bricks out front by the porch, whatever you need.” They let out a chuckle. 

Putting a finger to my chin, feigning deep thought, I reply, “That’s not a half-bad idea, Quinny, you may need to put that on the back burner. I do feel a bit better now that I’ve word-vomited some of that out. Thank God I never have to see him again, though.”

“Happy to be obliged, madam. You know I'm always here for whatever you need. Venting or violence, I’ll be there,” They stand and take a bow. “However, I do think you’d feel a lot better with a pamper session. Ya know, face washed, mask applied, those weird little eye patches you put on.” Shooing me a little bit and heading toward their bedroom. 

I curtsey in return, “You’re right, thank you, my liege. If you’ll excuse me, I shall retire to my bedchambers for the evening. Because this bitch is tired.”

“Goodnight, Winslow,” they call back to me from their bedroom doorway. 

“Goodnight, Quinndolyn Christie.” I giggle.

“That is Ser Quinndolyn Christie to you.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I run a makeup remover wipe over my face, taking off my makeup from my failed date. Finding the smallest bit of solace in my nighttime routine and ‘me’ time, Quinn suggested. And you know, they were right. I do feel a bit better wiping off my makeup. I splash some water on my face, creating a slick base for my cleanser. As it foams on my face, I think back to my evening. Honestly, what a mess. 

I hear Quinn giggle and shuffling. That’s weird?

Then I hear a loud thud. 

I turn and feel around for the door handle, eyes closed so I don’t get my face wash in them. That would hurt like a bitch. 

“Hey Quinn, you okay?” I call out. 

“Huh? What?”

“I heard a noise.” trying not to get too many of the water droplets falling off my elbows on to the floor below me. 

“It was just the knitting needles I was talking about earlier. Was just prepping them for battle. Make sure they were at the ready.” They giggle again. 

“It sounded a bit heavier than a knitting needle.” 

“Are you sure you’re not hearing things? You should get your ears checked.”

“Okay keep your secrets then.” feeling my way blindly back to my bathroom to wash off my face. 

As I apply my various serums and moisturizers, my thoughts find their way back to Sam. Sam. No. Not gunna go there. 

I start whispering to myself, “I bet he doesn’t even need to do all this stuff. Stupid, perfect skin on his stupid, perfect face. Probably only uses bar soap. And it’s probably the same bar of soap he uses to wash his ASS.” Yes, that’s it, talking out loud to yourself is completely normal, Willa. Please keep going. I groan internally. “Ridiculous freckles on his ridiculous cheeks bet he’s never heard of SPF specifically for the face. What he should be doing is investing in an exfoliant for his stupidly perfect but chapped lips.”

Woah, now, Willa. What the fuck?? No. Go to bed.

I stare at myself in a mirror for a long minute before I rush to turn off the light and jump into bed. I settle in and wait for the soft plush of my blankets to lull me to sleep. 

When I wake up, I look over at my clock. It’s 3:15 a.m., and my first thought is Sam.

Fuck.

&lt;- Chapter One Chapter Three ->

Masterpost | Taglist

Taglist 💜 :

@gvfsstardust, @myleftsock, @mindastreamofcolours, @imleavingyoufornewyork, @dont-go-home-without-me, @literal-dead-leaf, @lizzys-sunflower, @threadofstars, @mackalah,@klarxtr, @ourlovesdesire, @writingcold ,@edgingthedarkness, @takenbythemadness, @i-love-gvf, @ladywhimsymoon, @earthgrlsreasy, @peaceloveunitygvf, @violet-hayes, @anythingforjtk

[irishais]

Some medical updates: I got seen by my oncologist yesterday, who confirmed it's likely stage 1 grade 1 endometrial cancer, but is waiting on more pathology results, and tbh won't be able to tell the severity for real until I actually have surgery.

The second update is that there is no other option than a hysterectomy, which tbh I'm pretty excited about bc I've been trying to evict this little bastard for YEARS bc it's done nothing but cause me trouble-- shame it took CANCER to get that going. It'll be minimally-invasive robot surgery, but I'm not going to be able to drive or do very much after for a while.

This will be happening in the next four weeks or so, so while I'm setting up a post-op schedule of visitors, people to help etc, bc I'll be down at least a couple weeks, I've been asked by a few people to share some kind of donation link for food/grocery delivery after, meds, hospital bills etc.

We have no idea yet if I'm going to need chemo or drugs after the surgery; it absolutely depends on what my doc finds during the operation.

You can Venmo/cash app me at @irishais, if you want. My Kofi is the same, but PayPal takes a huge fee every time so I try to avoid using it.

This is not obligatory, and my job is working to make sure I'm not going to miss any hours, but I don't foresee this being terribly inexpensive and I'm pretty much shoestringing it most of the time anyway.

[about-faces]

Hi, I want to read some DC comics about how Harvey transformed from former DA to the criminal mastermind who ruled half of Gotham's Underworld (against the Penguin). I've already read/seen: Two-Face: A Celebration of 75 Years Batman: The Long Halloween Batman: Dark Victory (1999) Batman '89 Batman: The Animated Series Batman: The Audio Adventures

Any other reading recommendations? Thanks a lot for your help. :)

So you're looking for origin stories, or at least ones that shed more light on Two-Face's origin? Well first off, I'm glad you read the 75th Anniversary collection, because that has three of my very favorites: the original Harvey Kent trilogy from 1942-43, the Grace Dent story from Secret Origins Special (1989), and "Eye of the Beholder" from Batman Annual #14 (1990).

Besides those, and the ones you've listed, here are a few others to check out. Some are great, some are mixed bags, and some are downright lousy.

First and foremost, I STRONGLY recommend the 1989 Batman newspaper comic strip, which I loved so much that I posted the whole two-year saga on its own tumblr account. You can start from the very beginning right here, but keep in mind that Harvey's storyline--which runs all the way to the very last strip--doesn't really start until the second arc.

Next, Batman: Dual to the Death by Geary Gravel is a YA novelization of the BTAS origin, seamlessly combined with the two-part Batgirl origin episodes. It improves on both the animated versions in small but crucial ways, and it's highly recommended for BTAS fans. Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to find.

On a similar note, Peter David's movie novelization of Batman Forever can be found more easily, either in used book form or on the Internet Archive, and it's absolutely worth reading. I love the movie of Batman Forever, but it's objectively a terrible take on Harvey. The novelization adds SO MUCH, including an original prequel scene with D.A. Harvey Dent, and his ending is far more satisfying.

Cartoon Network's CGI animated series Beware the Batman (2013) also features a series-long origin arc for Harvey Dent, but it's one of the worst takes I've ever seen on the character. He's a petty, selfish, ambitious little prick, an absolute scumbag, completely devoid of depth or tragedy. Thankfully, few have seen this arc, since the majority of Harvey's episodes were never aired after the series was cancelled, but they're all available to watch for those morbidly curious to see just how badly someone can screw up Harvey as a character.

"The Big Burn" from Batman and Robin, vol 2 #24-28 (2014), also collected in B&R volume 5. After the huge DC reboot, this was Harvey new origin, which tried some very different things with him. A VERY mixed bag, but one that ended in a hugely exciting way that makes the whole thing worth reading. Follow it up with its sequel, "Ugly Heart," from Detective Comics #1020-1024, collected in Detective Comics Vol 5: Joker War.

Finally, watch the entirety of the recently-released/cancelled CW series Gotham Knights, with Misha Collins performing a surprisingly rich, interesting, and flawed Harvey Dent origin arc. The show got a lot of shit, some of it undeserved, but Collins' Harvey was an intriguing surprise, and I fear nothing we see from Harvey in any Reevesverse media will bring half as much care and interest to Harvey as GK did, for better or worse. All 13 episodes can be watched for free on CW Seed, region permitting.

EDIT: Oh right also the Telltale Batman video game! I haven't actually played that yet because I know enough about what happens and the illusion of meaningful choice indicative of Telltale games that I just don't feel like putting myself through that. People seem to like it a lot, though! I just... don't put me in a position of choosing to save either Harvey or Selina if you're just going to cheat and have him go evil anyway.

[someforzari]

Coloured Sky

Niki x black!gn!reader

Genre: fluff

A/N: My first work where the skin colour was specified, I hope its up to your standards.

Ep.1 | Ep.2

You started listening to kpop in 2019 but it was more of a casual liking in 1 or 2 groups, rather than the only thing you would listen to. So when the group 'Enhypen' came out you peaked a huge interest in them. You biased Niki for his cute persona and how he always found a way to lighten the mood.

In little time, you found yourself listening to them often and even buying an album now and then. When all of your friends started talking about going to a concert together, you suggested Enhypen's upcoming tour.

"_____, we're not made of money and plus that's in New York, only you have a place to stay there, what will the rest of us do?" Jen retorted looking at the price.

"She's right, _____" Another friend agreed.

Sighing, you knew you had to meet them at some point in your life and why not now since it was your gap year before starting college, but seeing how you had £50 to your name, you knew that wasnt happening anytime soon. You chose to go to New York anyway since you had already bought plane tickets to see your family there, texting your mum to tell her.

"Guys, I have to go pack my bags but I'll talk to you soon. Love you bye." You said leaving the café. A quick wave of goodbyes surging through your friend group.

Time skip: 11:34pm, Thursday 28th March

"Yes mum, I've packed everything. I know the trip is overseas, look, I'll be fine. I'm staying with aunt shay, I'll be alright." You explained to your mum, holding the phone between your ear and cheek. "The plane leaves at 4pm tomorrow. No, I'm getting a taxi. Look, I have to go I'll update you soon. Bye."

Putting your passports and luggage near the doorway and setting your alarm to 8am you crashed on your bed and slept soundly.

Time skip: 8:13am, Friday 29 March

Brushing your teeth slowly due to drowsiness and scrolling through instagram was a normal part of your morning, your eyes widening upon seeing a new post from Enhypens official account. It was a picture of Niki and Sunoo at the airport, nothing special except that the destination was New York. That left some excitement for your day, dreaming about running into him unexpectedly and becoming his friend. Of course, you knew your delusions were just that, delusions. But you were free to imagine, right?

Stepping into your room to double check that you had packed everything, you noticed that your nails looked terrible and decided to get them done later. A decision that would save you from embarrassment later on.

The nails you picked weren't too over the top, just french tips with a few charms. Looking at the time on your phone, you gasped. 2:09pm. You were going to be late for your flight. At your apartment, a taxi was already waiting for you as you had planned, pulling the luggage into the boot and sitting in the taxi, you sighed and hoped you'd make it in time for your flight as the airport was an hour and a half away, hopefully there wouldn't be much traffic.

Timeskip: 5:43pm, Saturday 30th March

"Yeah, I'll manage." You said as you left the house to go explore New York City.

Living in the UK, you never experienced anything close to New York, sure, London was just as busy, but the nightlife couldn't compete. Plus, you lived in Whitehall of all places. It was cold, and even though winter had finished, the sun still set by 7.

It was amazing. The street signs with vibrant colours and cute little pictures of cartoon characters and animals, the shops with the latest iconic trends and the souvenirs were so creative.

Looking around, you didn't notice the shouting and running around. It was New York, this was normal, right?

Wrong. You would've been able to look some more, if only someone didn't bump into you and both of you fell.

"Who the hell...?" You mumbled holding your ankle and looking at the person.

Niki Rishimura. He was the man who had bumped into you, making you fall and hurt yourself. The throbbing pain in your ankle was forgotten as you stared at him with your mouth wide open and eyes wide.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Is your ankle hurt?" He asked frantically, clearly worried.

You couldn't even answer, you just sat there, staring at him. Once the state of shock took over, you were quick to reassure him that you were fine and asked him if he was hurt at all.

He offered to get you coffee as an apology. Being a modest person, you refused at first saying there was no need, secretly hoping he would take you anyway. Him being the absolute angel he is, he insisted to treat you to coffee and you agreed. He reached out for his phone and asked for your number, you blinked a few times in confusion but not wanting to pass up this opportunity, you typed in your digits as fast as your sore hands could.

"I'll text you later, I have to go now." Niki said smiling sweetly at you and picking up a call from his manager.

You couldn't believe it, you had just met Niki Rishimura and gotten his number! And, you were going to see him for coffee! The whole way back to your aunt's house, you smiled and some people even looked at you like you were insane, but they wouldn't understand. You couldn't wait.

@microwvdstrawb3rri3s

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Hello darling,

I would absolutely read an Eliot Spencer story! I mean I love everything you write anyway so...

I would love it if you told me about any of the fics you're working on for the event.

😘❤️

Meg, my amazing friend and constant supporter 💗, thank you so much for the ask and kind words.

Especially since this is a whump-related event, Eliot would be so perfect for it! And this Leverage rewatch definitely has my mind cooking up a few ideas, so there is a very good chance I will end up having at least one day with him. And knowing you are interested makes that even more likely! 💕

Right now, most of my ideas are for TGM characters (specifically Hangman, Rooster, and even Maverick), but I also have a few related to the Batfamily (Dick, Jason, and my Batmom series), Rhett Abbott, and Bucky Barnes. And while I don't have prompts for them yet, I'd love to write something for Frank Castle, Matt Murdock, or any of the Joel Kinnaman characters I write for.

The three I'm most excited so far are:

For What You've Done (Past Reader x Hangman; Current Reader x Rooster):

A terrible accident leaves you mourning the loss of your boyfriend and Rooster his wingman. Drawn together by your grief, a romance begins to blossom between the two of you as you each try to heal and move on. However, Rooster is about to discover that things aren't always what they appear and people will go to any extremes for the ones they love.

Note: this is the one I was referencing in this post and things are going to get a little dark....

Drink with Me: (Vampire!Reader x Hangman):

In the middle of a vampire apocalypse, everyone knows that no one is safe. And yet, nothing could have prepared Jake for watching the love of his life torn apart by a swarm right before his eyes. So he is in for the shock of his life when you turn up two years later, standing before him as one of the monsters he's sworn to destroy. And though you still seem like the old you, you both know this can only end one way....

In the Eye of the Hurricane: (Reader x Hangman):

When a distant relative you haven't talked to in years dies and leaves you everything, you aren't sure what to do. You haven't visited his ranch since you were a kid and have no idea how to run one. Luckily, the lead ranch hand has agreed to stay on and help until you can sell the place....if only he weren't an aloof jerk who barely looks at you, let alone holds a conversation. But when a hurricane sweeps through town and threatens to destroy all you now own, secrets are revealed and your past suddenly becomes your present.

Note: This one is HIGHLY influenced by Glen in the Twisters trailer 😅 Especially the shot of him in the white t-shirt and cowboy hat in the rain.

[coldflasher]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @kitkatt0430 and @softboydepot - Thank you both for the tag :D

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

So I was about 13 years old, I was scrolling through my brand new One Direction tumblr, username "its-a-1d-world", soon to become "curly-and-boobear-stylinson", a harrowing username that genuinely makes me shiver like someone just walked over my grave. Like I'm sure this means nothing to someone who wasn't in the fandom AND an extreme larrie but let me tell you. Imagine the most intensely cringe superwholock url you could have. It's on that level

And I remember seeing what we would soon come to very derisively refer to as a "harry het fic" on my dash. So like, in 1D fandom, you had your standard self-insert Y/N fics, you had the queer RPF where you were shipping the boys with each other, and then you had the "het fics", which is where someone would make up a female character for one of the boys (usually Harry bc that man had and still has an insane chokehold on teenage girls everywhere) to date. If anyone has had the misfortune to read and/or watch After by Anna Todd... that type of deal

ANYWAYS I was totally unaware of fanfic as a concept, which is quite funny because as a little baby writer I'd been writing extremely derivative pseudo-fanfic for quite a few years by that point, like stories inspired by Young Dracula or Narnia or whatever without really knowing what it was. But this Harry het fic floated across my dash and a little switch went in my brain because I was like WAIT. I COULD BE WRITING STORIES ABOUT THE BOYS?? Like this was so exciting to me because writing is like probably my biggest eternal special interest and One Direction was my like, most intense special interest at the time, so I was like WAIT. I CAN COMBINE THESE THINGS. And also PEOPLE WILL READ THEM AND COMMENT ON THEM and I was sooo convinced I was god's gift to writing at the time so I was like well OBVIOUSLY everyone will read MY fics and I'll get super fandom famous instantly.

So I wrote an incredibly terrible Harry het one shot with an original character and literally got crickets. Nobody read it. Very embarrassing. I think I wrote a handful of these and nobody wanted to know, which is fair enough because I'm sure they were very bad. But THEN I was like okay fine, well everyone is obsessed with Larry, including me (though I very much liked it in a "bromance" way at the time, so I'll write a Larry fic instead. This is Louis and Harry for the uninitiated. It was the biggest fandom ship. We shipped all and every configuration of the boys but Larry and Ziam were the hard hitters. I think I wrote a few different one shots for various pairings but then I did my first Larry multi-chapter

ANYHOO the Larry fic was a big hit, I got all the outpouring of compliments and attention that my enormous thirteen-year-old head was convinced I deserved and that was kind of it really lmao. I was hooked. When I tell you I'd update my fics MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY because I was writing so fast and so obsessively, like god idk what the fuck was going on in my head but it was the greatest high I have ever experienced in my life. I also got incredibly deeply involved in the conspiracy theory about Louis and Harry's secret gay relationship and spent the next five years of my life tinhatting obsessively but that's a whole other story

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

In terms of what I've posted to AO3, only a handful—as mentioned, I started off in the One Direction fandom, I've written for The Flash and Legends, and dabbled in Doctor Who. In terms of fandoms I've written little bits for but never shared... so many lmao, the list (as far as I can recall) includes the following:

Batwoman, Supergirl, The Bold Type, The Devil Wears Prada, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, Torchwood, Twilight, X-Men, and bizarrely, The Witcher, apparently??? I have ZERO memory of that, but it's in my fanfic folder. No idea what that was about

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I started in 2011/early 2012, so upward of a decade at this point... eesh.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely write. I do want to read more fic, but I have a hard time choosing what to read and I am very bad at using AO3's search functions to find what I want.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I've finally started finishing shit!! Big moment for me lmao

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I read an entire book on public defenders for a fic where Barry becomes a public defender instead of a CSI. I own a copy of a book called Forensics for Dummies which I'm slowly working my way through for fic reasons... I feel like none of these are that weird lmao

7. What’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Who doesn't love the mega long comments pulling out random lines the reader liked to yell about them. I sometimes get so excited reading these comments that I lose sleep over it lmao i love them so much

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Lmaoo this is a very odd one but I once wrote a Larry Stylinson fic where Harry was Slenderman and he was haunting Louis, and either Zayn or Liam was like a Van Helsing type who was trying to hunt Slenderman!Harry down and kill him. Or maybe it was Nick Grimshaw, the at the time host of the BBC1 radio breakfast show. He was the go-to fandom villain at the time

I never finished it but that was a cool time, someone in the fandom actually composed an instrumental piano piece inspired by Slenderman!Harry which is up there with the coolest things that have ever happened to me

In general I don't know if I necessarily go that fringe. I feel like it's somewhat obvious I have a bit of a thing for femdom, and also like. Coldwest/coldwestallen in general lmao, I guess that's fringe-ish

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Funnily enough probably pwp. I feel like smut is generally considered to be just an easy fun time but I feel like my line-editing process is not conducive to smut writing thing because I write the first draft in a haze of feral horny energy and then edit and revise it over and over to the point where I no longer find it sexy at all and am unable to tell whether it's even still hot or if I've totally killed the vibe in my quest to find the most poetic way of describing the way people fuck nasty. It's very frustrating ngl

10. What is the easiest type?

None of them. This is such a cop-out but everything I write is hard because I'm an insane perfectionist and everything HAS to be beautifully crafted so at this point everything is hard. But ngl I find multichapters easiest to draft in some ways just cos I can kinda cling to the high of "ooh a new idea" whilst also contributing to the same project because the "new ideas" are just new chapters, if that makes sense? It's fitting them all together that's the hard part lmao

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I use a combination of Microsoft Word, Scrivener, and a notes app on my phone called Penzu, which is where I scribble down all the random snippets and ideas and bits and bobs that come to me during the day. The bulk of my drafting and editing is done in Word and I basically only use Scrivener for its notecard function where you can move scenes around really easily, and then I transfer everything back into Word because of Tracked Changes. Does Scrivener have that? Probably. Scrivener has everything

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Honestly it's never really a case of "too nervous/intimidated" because I genuinely have never encountered an idea where I was like "hmm idk if I can pull it off", I have extreme faith in my own capabilities to an almost delusional level lmao, it's always just "I do not have time". But I do have this extremely long Coldwestallen fic that's inspired by Hades and Persephone, with Barry as Persephone, Len as Hades, and Iris as a soooort of Demeter figure which i know is weird because Demeter is Persephone's mother, but whatever, she more embodies the familial connection of the whole team rather than being an actual blood relative if that makes sense

So the concept is basically Barry as Persephone spending half his time with Len and the Rogues in the criminal underworld (I thought I was so clever for that one lmao) and the rest with Team Flash, and then the lines blur and it becomes coldwestallen-y eventually, but it's soooo long and basically split into four novels that I have written between 25 and 50k for each. It's gonna take me literal YEARS to tackle this thing so I've kinda put it on hold for now but I miss it so much

13. What made you choose your username?

So I wrote a joke in a fic that I genuinely have no idea whether I even posted it or not, it might have been in Aftermath. But basically Barry's suit gets blown up and he gets photographed literally streaking through the city totally nude (you can't see anything bc he's moving too fast but you can tell he ain't wearing any clothes lmao) and there's a newspaper headline that's like "THE FLASHER???" Let me tell you I was very annoyed the other day when I learned they already made that joke on Supergirl

And then I just added "cold" for Len lmao

[blonde-and-cat-suc]

I really wanna start an anti catradora blog since there are so few but idk where to start, can you please give me some tips?

Well! First of, I'm very excited that this side of fandom will be getting another participant, and second of all, I'm very flattered that this question is going to me! I'm always happy to give some support xoxo!

All of my tips are going to be from personal experience both from my time generally engaging with fandom, and running this particular blog.

/ / / /

1 ) Try to be polite.

Yes, you will get people who disagree with you. The very existence of anti-fandom implies that we are not the norm. The majority of our main fandom already disagrees with us. And they might be assholes about it. Don't tolerate rudeness, but also, try not to feed into it, either. Not only is it terrible for mental health as the blogger, but it perpetuates this idea that the blogger in question reacts to negative attention. Which, if you've been on the Internet long enough, you know very well how quickly negativity breeds if it's allowed. Positivity breeds too, so I think it's in anyone's best interest to simply... Not be an asshole. Even if it means being the bigger person for a moment.

2 ) Pick and choose your battles.

"Battles" is a melodramatic way to put it, but I'm only using it because it's a well known saying. Anyway, this part is from the first part. So... the thing about being "the bigger person" is that... it doesn't always happen. I definitely don't let everything go by me without snapping at it sometimes. Well, I just think it's funny. I used to think it was way funnier in the past, too. Sometimes anon hate/fandom takes are really stupid and it's hilarious to share. But if it's not funny, insightful, or you simply don't want to engage... Don't engage.

3 ) Connect!

Anti-fandom is still fandom, and I personally treat it as such! There's still art to enjoy, stories to read, discussions to be shared. Community is not necessary, but when I was first putting out anti-c//a posts it really helped me to know that there were people that like, didn't think I was insane for pointing out things that bothered me! Especially since my choice in writing anti-c//a/crit fics is not an easy medium and well, to be honest, sort of requires that I know someone out there enjoys the fruit of my labor.

Yes, spop antis are limited, but go say 'hi' to the people that are open to engagement! We're mostly pretty friendly, and in my opinion, open-minded.

4 ) You are required to have an "on the nose" blog name.

NO, okay, I'm being totally facetious! Obviously, name the blog whatever you want, I just laugh when I see a new anti blog and it's something like "catra-needs-jail-time" or "catradora-is-dogshit". They're a handful of bloggers like that, if you want more to follow (the two I just named are jokes... As far as I know).

The real advice to be clear that your blog is anti-catradora/critical; or whatever other stances you'll talk about often. Nothing personal if that's not what you want, but make it easily found that you're not open to certain things, or you are open to certain things. I.e. I think that C//a are pretty obviously adopted sisters canon, and that point is very purposefully the first post on my blog (has been for two years), so no one is surprised when I start ranting about sister!c//a in particular.

5 ) It is never, EVER that deep.

Part of anti/crit blogging is that there's salt involved. Ranting, sharing things that frustrate us, being annoyed with canon... But also, it's really not that deep.

If I would have got this question two years before, I would have not added this part. But yeah, no. Part of why I run this blog still is because I know it's simply not that serious... People will steadily find my blog and the others in this community, and they will come around to their own conclusions on their own time. There is no trying to convince someone else on a POV that they simply don't want to see. There is no war against anti fandom and main fandom (though, some will have you believe otherwise).

The bloggers that are still active and open about unpopular opinions in 2023 are not people that stress themselves out or respond to every braindead take, they're not people who get attacked/overwhelmed by stans very often, they're not rude, they're not close-minded-- actually, I would go as far as to say that they're extremely fucking chill about this hobby. Passionate and dedicated, but self aware and self-respecting of mental capital/health.

And so, that'd have to be my last piece of advice.. Chill. It's just not that deep. And if it ever becomes "deep"... take a million steps back, and give yourself that space to recuperate. Your mental state is infinitely more important than an anti-blog, and no one will judge you for taking breaks or anything as you'll need them.

/ / / /

[indigo-a-creeping]

So anyway, top surgery is scheduled for May 9! Anybody want to go explore San Francisco with me for a week (squeezing drains may be required a few times)? I've put out a few feelers, and have a couple of possible people to go with me, but nothing set in stone yet.

We had a hurricane come through today, but it went more to the north, so we just got a lot of rain and wind in the morning. Everything's back to normal now.

My (nearly) hairless guinea pig has had an eye issue since I adopted her, and I haven't been able to resolve it, so I took her to the vet and he said it looks like either an abscess or scarring. I'm giving her antibiotic eye drops and antifungal cream twice a day for two weeks. Hopefully it'll help! I was expecting the vet to take one look and say she needed the eye removed, so this is hopeful.

I've been struck with some terrible affliction for the past week. It's not Covid. Possibly a cold, but more probably allergies. Just so much snot. Coughing, sneezing, feeling awful. Can't taste or smell anything unless I manage to clear a passage in my nose, and it doesn't last long. It's been getting better in the past couple days, though yesterday I almost left work early it was so bad. Hopefully all the rain will clear out the allergens and I'll feel better!

I'm deep into planning my Nanowrimo project for this year, and thinking of trying to make it a podcast. I've been listening to a lot of queer post-apocalyptic supernatural (and adjacent) podcasts lately, and I have some ideas.

And next month I'm driving up to the Mothman Festival! So excited for that! I'll also visit the Flatwoods Monster Museum, the Bigfoot Museum, and the Back of the Dragon, among other things.

[mothqueton]

Tagged by @counterwiddershins and @pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882, thanks guys! Could not for the life of me figure out how to copy the post on mobile, so had to log into tumblr on my laptop and do it from there. anyway, here goes:

Currently reading: "The Prisoner of Zenda" as recommended by Pizza! I'll admit, I truly thought the prisoner was going to be a princess. That assumption was based on absolutely nothing but my love of a good rescue the princess story! The set-up is hilarious and I gotta get back to it :D

Last song: I'm always in the weeds of my Discover Weekly playlist looking for new bangers. Most recent fave is "The Ramblings of a Lunatic" by Bears in Trees. However, my last ACTUAL song I listened to was called "Ballad of the Lonely (Mumza's Melody)" by trashyinferno. It was a pretty neat love story about a goddess of death longing for an immortal soldier.

Currently watching: Terrible at keeping up on shows. I watched the first episode of Blue Eye Samurai and it was pretty cool! I am excited for the next season of GameChanger on Dropout and will be watching that this spring :D

Fic I'm currently reading: I'll shout out the fic that Lisaunt wrote and @counterwiddershins translated in the discord as it's the only fic I've ever read XD It was very good though!

Next on my watchlist: Going to see the Boy and the Heron after work today! Excited to hear Pattinson's unhinged old man voice

Current obsession: the same obsession I've had for the last three years. D'artagnan is never far from my mind lol.

[chaithetics]

hi youuu! :)

first, english is not my first language so sorry for possible mistakes! and second, I just wanted to say that I love porcelain and shark so much!! stewy being a dad was definitely a thing <333 and i'm really excited and really looking forward to new things from reader roy who is now a hosseini (we love that!!!). maybe getting pregnant again? and maybe part of the family judging her for that? (that sounds terrible but im sure logan or shiv would do that lol) or more about her kids or her and stewy just being a cute couple I DON'T KNOW just more content stewy would already make this person - me!!! - happier 😭

and i was also a little curious about stewy's drug habits lol like there was roman joking but how does the reader actually deal with it? I know it sounds like a lot but I noticed you like details and just trying not to make my request a little vague? hahah and YESSS my Succession Sunday was a Succession Monday morning because when I went to sleep there was nothing and when I woke up there was new content so I imagine it's the time zone too hahah but I'm not complaining! (and I'm not the anon who talked about this, I'm just being nosy 🤭)

and just one more thing that's just me being curious IS THE LAST ONE HAHAHAH reader and stewy have an age difference right? I imagine he's the same age as kendall because they went to college together and she's the youngest child.. and anyway it's not important hahah, it's just me thinking.

it got big but I hope to make up for it by wishing you a great day lmao 💕 💕

Hey lovely Nonnie!!!

I'm so, so, so, so glad you enjoyed that piece! It makes me so happy, I was a bit anxious to post it honestly so thank you! Also don't apologise about that, English is an awful language that isn't easy (I grew up in a house with other languages being spoken). You worded everything perfectly and don't owe anyone "perfect english".

Okay my responses feel borderline headcannony/ thoughty so I'll bullet point them, I hope that's okay!

Roy reader will definitely get pregnant again in the future! I just wanted her and Stewy to have a bit of a break before another young child 😂

In the 80th, Jonathan is 3 (closer to 4) and Tillie is around 1. Porce and Stewy definitely read child development books and decided they wanted to try spacing it out so there was at least a couple of years between each child. They didn't want big or small gaps between the children.

The original Nonnie that sent in the prompts had a couple about the relationship between Porce and Shiv being tense and I 100% agree with that. Fanfiction is fanfiction and I completely support people writing characters how they want/out of character but I personally try to write the Roys as realistically as possible to the Canon. I cannot imagine Shiv liking or having a good relationship with a younger sister. She already feels threatened by her brothers but she'd feel more threatened by another woman in the picture and especially one that is younger and has the moniker of the youngest daughter. Especially in Logan's eyes. I do think Shiv would like what she views as protection by having someone in the picture who is weaker to the men and she can join them on calling Porce that. We also see that Shiv embraces masculinity in a way to play in the patriarchy to try and be taken more seriously and advance herself (her manner of speaking especially to other women, the pantsuits, the switch from S1 to S2 onwards in fashion etc.) So Shiv without a doubt would look down on Porce for what she thinks is embracing feminity by marriage, motherhood etc. So Shiv would definitely look down on her for getting pregnant again and not like the attention it gets Porce and Stewy.

I don't know think I got too into it in the 80th or if it's more in some of the drafts I have atm. But I think Logan would fall into that type of abusive patriarch that the abuse still comes through with his grandkids but is better with them than he is with his children. Which I imagine conflicts the Roy siblings a bit as well.

Also, after what's revealed in the series finale about Sophie and Iverson, I imagine that it's something that was a big deal and then became something that was somewhat unspoken but known by all in the family, I feel like Shiv's response confirmed that as well. So I imagine there would be an awkward dynamic around Logan somewhat favouring Porce's children a bit just because they're biological. I think he'd be somewhat glad about those pregnancies as they're more "heirs" and carrying the bloodline. Plus with him being a misogynist he probably thinks that it's her way of contributing/carrying out duties or whatever thinly veiled excuse of misogyny he wants to spout. But I do think he has some issues with them being Hosseinis instead of Roys, especially as things go on because of who Stewy is and what he's doing.

There will be more fluffy Stewy content! I PROMISE! I live for the fluff haha!

There might also eventually be some angst, the original nonnie did send some stuff in about the proxy battle but I do have some thoughts around Shiv's wedding/the bear hug and Austerlitz. So... 👀

HAHAHA! I'm sorry but when you said that you noticed I like details I started laughing because I felt so seen 😂 You're not wrong. I do love details!

When Roman did the body gesture and Porce said he was a bad role model I personally imagined that was somewhat aimed at Kendall. Like he was comparing himself in an "Well I'm a better role model/uncle!" Kind of way but it can definitely be read as a jab at Stewy or Kendall or both of them.

I felt like based after 4 seasons of the Roys and how they treat him even when he's sober, they would definitely make comments like the ones Roman made in the bathroom even if Stewy was clean. I kind of would like to think that Stewy doesn't use cocaine after being married and having children. But if he does (which is probably likely) I imagine he'd use responsibly, small doses, never at home/in front of or around the children. I feel like that's more realistic? But I'm not sure. I don't want to write it super casually when cocaine use is a serious topic and a lot of awful stuff happens because of that, addiction in the show and more importantly reality. I'm more than happy to hear peoples thoughts on it, it's probably something I won't honestly address too much or go into detail of at this stage? But I'm probably leaning towards writing that Stewy's sober now in that regard.

But IF he does still use, I imagine it's that it's not often, it's just "for business" occasionally and that it follows the rules of small doses, never in front of or around the children. It happens very rarely. They have that as guidelines and I imagine that and lots of reassurances/Stewy following through on that would help ease her anxiety a little bit. It's basically Canon that Porce and Stewy are relationship communication Champs.

Yes they do have an age difference.

Do I know what the age difference is? Nope 😂

We never really find out anything about the characters ages except that Logan is 80 at the start and that Kendall is 40 in S3. The shows timeline is also intentionally vague, I think Jesse Armstrong just said that he imagines it taking place over a couple of years. But it's safe to assume that Stewy would also have been 40 in S3 as they went to Buckley and Harvard together. We don't know the age gap between the younger three siblings over plus there's heaps of debate over the birth order of Roman and Shiv and the twin hints. So I can't comment on what the difference is but I do like the twin theory and I feel like (despite Sarah Snook being a lot younger than the others) it's like a 3-5 year age gap between Kendall and Shiv and Roman. So I imagine Stewy and Porce have a 5-7 year age gap at the most? As you can tell, I didn't really think about the logistics 😂 it's probably not a factor I'll go into anyway. But it was interesting to think about the math and decisions about the Canon Roys!

Haha! Welcome to the world of Succession Mondays! I hope it was a good morning read haha! But yes, timezones are very, very, very weird and you're always welcome to be nosey!

But these will definitely be included in some of the pieces coming out! I hope you enjoyed them and you're always welcome to send in requests, questions or thoughts! It wasn't too big at all btw! Thank you so much for reaching out Nonnie! Especially with such thoughtful and engaging questions Nonnie! I hope you have a lovely week and a great Succession Sunday/Monday 💗

[landwriter]

Sorry this was too easy - 1,2,8 and 10 for the 2023 writing goals? Going to amend 1 here and ask for, you know, not the obvious. Even tho we all LOVE the obvious, obviously ❤️

a ship I want to write in 2023: destruction/hob, corinthian/hob, lucienne/gault, lucifer/johanna, my god, so many, SO MANY. even tho all my posted and WIP stuff is dreamling i am by no means planning to only write them

a genre I want to write in 2023: nothing else historical for at least the first two quarters of the year my god!!! I have some light-hearted romcom stuff planned, which I am stoked for. would love to do just a full on, solo character study of hob gadling thru the years. I imagine nobody would read it but I'd want to do it anyways hahaha. porn without plot/Themes, if i can ever manage it!

a friend l'd like to collab with in 2023: literally any of my artist mutuals, hi, hello, let's make an illustrated story together. let's make comix. <3<3<3 i have never co-written anything before but it sounds like it could be super fun or TERRIBLE would be down to try

something I want to keep doing in 2023: ok a massive cheesy cop-out answer: writing!!! writing!!!!! I have so much catching UP to do, and I really do not usually stick with things, very much a jack of all trades master of none, but I would love a 2023 filled with just aggressive amounts of writing. other than that I want to keep making sentences I'm proud of and making things people are excited to read <3

[tyrannuspitch]

6

6. Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list?

Hopefully, assuming I don't get distracted, my post-T1 Loki & Thanos fic! I have a decent plan (at least, an arc, an ending, and a handful of plot points) and I don't think it will end up *really* long. I'm excited to get to it, because it's one where I feel like I actually have something to say(tm), since I don't plan on following the fanon here at all.

Rather than straightforward force, I want to show a slow process of manipulation and corruption where Loki develops from "somewhat noble intentions + terrible morals" to "self-preservation + embracing monsterhood because nothing else remains". I think it would be so so fun and tragic if he'd originally allied with Thanos thinking that that alliance could lead to some sort of Greater Good(tm), maybe even redemption... and then everything spiralled out of control. Again. (I also want to humanise the Chitauri, damn it.)

I will need to do a little more research first though - I need to (re)watch GotG 1 and 2 to get a proper grip on Thanos' canon characterisation.

Anyway, it's gonna be a long time yet, because I still have four chapters of my current project to go. But I'm excited for it!!

->Ask me about my fanfic plans for the new year!

[finitevariety]

can we hear your argument about the correct way to understand bronte’s ‘the professor’?

warning that there's an EXTREMELY long post below. Don't click 'Keep reading' unless you're sure you can face it.

The correct way to read the novel is as a satire. I say this not because it's necessarily the accurate interpretation, but because it's the most interesting.

I'm excited to get into this, but first let's tie it back to the post I tagged earlier by seeing what reviews for The Professor indicate about the state of critical thought today (the prognosis is grim).

Typically, reviews fall into two camps:

One: Charlotte Brontë is a stupid fucking woman who betrayed feminism and therefore doesn't deserve rights anyway. Why did she write about a main character who's so RUDE?!

Two: Charlotte, you've done it again! Truly this is a romance for the ages! Can't wait to call my husband 'monsieur' for the rest of my natural life! This truly is a marriage of equals! Go feminism!

There is also a secret third type of terrible review that's basically 'this is your brain on mid-10s ~feminist~ internet', in which feminism was less about gaining power for cis and trans women of all races, but more of a vehicle to advance the nebulous idea of empowerment.

'Not like other girls but make it a poorly-drawn webcomic' vibes, you know?

Bluntly, nothing here admits to the possibility that Brontë might have been aware she was writing about an unrelatable, flawed asshole, and that that might have been exactly what she wanted to do.

I don't pretend to be an expert about Victorian literature or criticism of such, but the dominant opinion over the years seems to have been that The Professor is first-draft back-of-a-drawer stuff that was deservedly rejected by 9 publishers and languished correctly in said drawer before being posthumously released. For some, it's the Go Set a Watchman of her canon.

Many lean into the idea that The Professor is a wish-fulfilment fantasy concerning the married headmaster under whom she studied in Belgium, and with whom she was certainly infatuated. I do think this interpretation can be convincing—and it's been covered elsewhere by smarter people than me, so I won't bother.

What I'm going to do is look at why I think satire is a far more satisfying interpretation that does have justification in both the text and its context. I'll look at:

The Professor as a parody of the Victorian self-help genre; and

The unreliable narrator, more broadly

I was also going to examine the novel in relation to Brontë's other work, and particularly Villette, but the post was fucking long enough already. I really do apologise for its length: please know that this is me attempting to be concise.

The Professor as a parody of the Victorian self-help genre

There is a plague of whiny nerds who call themselves bookworms yet get scared and call the lit-police when the moral of a story isn't laid out at the end like an after school special. For years now, these #amwriting fucks have considered 'not-chris-evans.jpg' the ultimate gotcha on interminable twitter threads.

This shitty mic-drop fails to consider that there are some people for whom purpose and target will always be unclear. If Twitter had existed in the 1700s, there would be people incandescent with rage that Jonathan Swift wanted to buy and eat impoverished babies. One only has to look at what this supposedly literate group did to Isabel Fall to know that to make satire intelligble to these people you'd have to break out the crayons.

Another important consideration is that satire which was clear within its time can, bereft of context, seem earnest. It's my argument that this has happened to The Professor.

Heather Glen, in her 2004 book Charlotte Brontë: The Imagination in History, makes the compelling case that The Professor is written as a fictional example of a self-help genre which was popular at the time:

It is not a clumsy fictionalization of autobiographical concerns; or a draft for its author's later, more popular works, but a novel of a very different kind (p34)

She identifies Brontë's Preface as a key signpost, linking its explicit references to themes of self-reliance and discipline to the maxims so popular in the genre.

These references continue throughout the novel, with Crimsworth making much of his industry, effort, and self-restraint. But there are clear and telling differences between these self-help narratives and the life led by Crimsworth.

This might as well be him, right down to the decision to broadcast to the world.

Self-help was, as the name suggested, focused on the individual—authors such as Craik and Smiles argued that poverty was caused by personal irresponsibility and conversely could be alleviated by discipline. (As a side note, the self-help trend did coincide with 'mutual improvement societies', a more radical movement created by and for working class men to educate themselves and participate in political life.)

The bootstrap-bios of the self-help genre are exactly what you'd expect. In the conclusion to Volume 1, Craik highlights the promised reward, if one only puts one's mind to it: joy.

Crimsworth is set apart from these heroes of self-help because he is so bereft of positive emotion. In fact, his entire worldview is poisoned: to him, existence is impersonal, violent, and hostile. I'll swing back to Glen for this, because she lays out in significant detail just how paranoid and brutal his mental landscape is:

Crimsworth is the empty, sad shell which houses all hustle culture rise and grind don't-deserve-a-bedframe fundamentally pathetic fucking idiots of the Victorian Era, and Brontë is, I argue, lampooning this sigma male grindset nearly 200 years before the rest of us. His self-strictness curdles the supposed happy ending, and it's so fucking good if you interpret that as deliberate:

again, Glen:

the scene in which he proposes to her is charged with half-suppressed violence: he holds his beloved in 'a somewhat ruthless grasp' and insists that she speak his language, not her own. She, for her part, is 'as stirless in her happiness, as a mouse in its terror'

He professes contentment, when they marry, but there is never any peace to be found. Yet, for the story to end, and for him to consider it a story worth telling—one where self-discipline and hard work won the day—he must pretend at it. He might even believe it—but are we supposed to do so also? I don't think so.

2. The unreliable narrator, more broadly

Crimsworth tells us that:

The other day, in looking over my papers, I found in my desk the following copy of a letter, sent by me a year since to an old school acquaintance...

To this letter I never got an answer...what has become of him since, I know not. The leisure time I have at command, and which I intended to employ for his private benefit, I shall now dedicate to that of the public at large. My narrative is not exciting, and above all, not marvellous; but it may interest some individuals, who, having toiled in the same vocation as myself, will find in my experience frequent reflections of their own. The above letter will serve as an introduction. I now proceed.

Crimsworth refers to this person (Charles) in distant terms. He's an 'old school acquaintaince'. His fate is unknown, but this does not keep him up at night. Crimsworth implies that there's less affection there than utility: he'd intended to bestow on Charles the dubious gift of this tale, and now it's our turn instead. In the letter, too, he's at pains to point out that he would never lift a finger for him, especially for rotten work:

you were a sarcastic, observant, shrewd, cold-blooded creature; my own portrait I will not attempt to draw, but I cannot recollect that it was a strikingly attractive one—can you? What animal magnetism drew thee and me together I know not; certainly I never experienced anything of the Pylades and Orestes sentiment for you, and I have reason to believe that you, on your part, were equally free from all romantic regard to me.  Still, out of school hours we walked and talked continually together; when the theme of conversation was our companions or our masters we understood each other, and when I recurred to some sentiment of affection, some vague love of an excellent or beautiful object, whether in animate or inanimate nature, your sardonic coldness did not move me. I felt myself superior to that check then as I do now.

but he writes, anyway, not for Charles's benefit, but because he wants to be heard and understood as he was then. The companions have changed, but if there is anyone who will agree with him about their character and motivations, he believes it will be sardonic, cold-blooded Charles.

Yet Charles did not reply, and so he turns to us for vindication.

Am I reading too much into this? I don't think so. Here's a fragment from a reworked Preface which would have replaced this first section and given us an alternate explanation for the existence of the text:

I had the pleasure of knowing Mr Crimsworth very well—and can vouch for his having been a respectable man—though perhaps not altogether the character he seems to have thought he was.

Here, the signposting is even clearer: we are not to take Crimsworth's tale entirely at its word.

Catherine Malone highlights this fragment when she examines Crimsworth's perception of his relationship to sex.

while at the beginning of the novel he declares an interest only in women with 'the clear, cheering gleam of intellect' (p. 13), asserting that for a professor, feminine 'mental qualities; application, love of knowledge, natural capacity, docility, truthfulness, gratefulness are the charms that attract his notice and win his regard' (p. 120) ...

the puritanical image he presents is continually undermined by his regard for physical beauty, manifest in his obsession with the boarded window in his bedroom at M. Pelet's, and his observations on his female pupils and the women with whom he has already come into contact. During the party at brother's house, Crimsworth is not introduced to the 'group of pretty girls' surrounding Edward and feels that he can take no part in the dancing: 'Many smiling faces and graceful figures glided me-but the smiles were lavished on other eyes-the figures sustained by other hands than mine-I turned away tantalized' (p. 24). Similarly, it is Mlle Reuter's outer rather than inner charms wh chiefly attract Crimsworth. It is he who nearly falls in love Zoraide and she, confident in her relationship with Pelet, who with his affections. Although any relationship between the two had been largely of Crimsworth's imagining, on discovering the engagement, he considers Zoraide and Pelet's deceit an act of 'treachery' (p. 112)—one which does not just cause him momentary bitterness, shame, or embarrassment but temporarily extinguishes his entire 'faith in love and friendship' (p. 111)

What Crimsworth tells himself about his desires is at odds with his reactions.

One final aspect to discuss (because I really need to finish this post up and go to bed) is gaze. In The Professor, being seen is understood as an assault; The Professor exists, we are told, because Crimsworth wished to present his tale to 'the public at large'. When Crimsworth has a narrative he thinks he controls, he'll share it—but even in the bounds of that text it's clear that he bristles under scrutiny.

Glen compiles near-endless examples of references to sight and seeing in The Professor, but I'm most interested in the way that plays out in interactions with his brother.

His first meeting with his brother is described like so:

my mind busied itself in conjectures concerning the meeting about to take place. Amidst much that was doubtful in the subject of these conjectures, there was one thing tolerably certain—I was in no danger of encountering severe disappointment; from this, the moderation of my expectations guaranteed me. I anticipated no overflowings of fraternal tenderness; Edward’s letters had always been such as to prevent the engendering or harbouring of delusions of this sort. Still, as I sat awaiting his arrival, I felt eager—very eager—I cannot tell you why; my hand, so utterly a stranger to the grasp of a kindred hand, clenched itself to repress the tremor with which impatience would fain have shaken it.

He will concede to feeling eager, but he cannot—will not—tell you why. After all, he has moderated his expectations! He does not hope! Fuck off!

He hardens himself still further, and in so doing insulates himself from disappointment—or, indeed, connection:

I can't help but feel like it is deliberate on Brontë's part that we see his professed successes as defeats. This is a man who despite all his hardness and his flaws has found himself a wife—but is that worth anything? Has he allowed himself to be understood even as much as he was back in his schooldays with maybe-dead 'acquaintance' Charles? Does he feel even a fraction of the contentment he thought he would, if only he followed the rules? Does his wife?

Towards the end of the novel is a terrifying passage that demonstrates, imo, that Frances, his wife, knows his deal far, far better than he does. Their pal, Hunsden, shares a miniature of a woman he was once into, Lucia, admitting that 'I should certainly have liked to marry her, and that I have not done so is a proof that I could not.'

In Crimsworth's list of desirable attributes from above, it is docility that ranks highest, and Frances knows it. She loves him, as other passages show, but she also sobbed as they were married, and in the scene before the wedding criticised Hunsden for an attitude that Crimsworth demonstrates throughout the text: being a facts don't care about your feelings dipshit.

so: it is very fun to interpret The Professor as a surprisingly relevant satire of the self-made man. I think there's ample justification for this in the text, which repeatedly and deliberately sets up and exposes the contradictions in character that Crimsworth himself cannot see.

I can't decide whether it's worse to assume Brontë didn't know what she was doing when she wrote about this dickhead, or that she did and he's wonderful actually. Perhaps one of those interpretations is even correct—but I am a huge fan of unreliable narrators, and I think it's 100% defensible, and far more interesting, to see Crimsworth as one.