#there's so much potential pain in this to be had

[shotmrmiller]

‘Single dad’ Soap, who’s kid doesn’t get along with your kid, so now he’s suggesting ya’ll have play dates together so they can:

‘Sort it. Yer ken?”

Your little one has never mentioned any issues in the classroom before, but hey, you invite Johnny and his small terror around for snacks.

(For the record Johnnys little boy and your small ones get on like a house on fire immediately - rushing outside and playing soldiers in the garden. But children can be like that right?)

There’s something just slightly off about Johnny. You can’t quite put your finger on it. He’s handsome, but the intensity in those summer sky flavoured eyes is bordering on too much. That smile of his shows his teeth in a way that’s wolfish, it makes you nervous, like he wants to gobble you up in one bite.

His small talk is charming, with a narrow edge of aggressive flirtation. Very quickly you’re telling him about separating from your baby daddy and everything that’s happened since, then you realise Johnnys told you barely anything about himself.

When you ask he just stretches and replies:

“Nuthin o’interest here lass.”

So you drop the questions, imagining maybe it’s painful and he doesn’t want to discuss his relationship past. A soured love is always bitter to the taste, even years afterwards.

Johnny says goodbye to you with a kiss to the cheek and a promise that he’ll host next time. Your kids whine - they don’t want playtime to end. But you’re slightly relieved Johnny isn’t hanging around any longer.

The next day at school pick up, he comes bounding up to you like an overexcited retriever, planting another overly familiar, scratchy peck on your face.

“Yer all invited ta dinner this evenin’ Bonnie. Simon’s so lookin’ forward ta it.”

There’s a glint in Johnny’s eye that says very plainly there is no polite way of getting out of this arrangement. Then he nods his head back towards the road, where potentially the most off putting man you’ve ever seen leans against a dark car. Face half masked and black eyes boring into yours, so wide he conceals most of the drivers side door with his bulk.

Not so single dad Johnny it turns out. You should have asked more questions.

(Needless to say, there was no issue between your kids - they got along fine. But hey, your WhatsApp picture in the school group chat was just so pretty, Simon had to send Johnny out to make landfall with you somehow. Soon, you’ll all be the best of friends. Obvs.)

I don’t know where this came from - your Ghoap inspired me 🙃 delete it if you hate it NP

you're about to ask him if that's his (very large) brother when the munchkin you do know throws himself at him screaming daddy. oh. you shoot him a stiff, polite smile before turning back to johnny. "wouldn't want to impose," you mutter. he's looking at you like you're something to be devoured. "i know the kids can be a bit much—" but johnny's having none of it. loops an arm around your waist, pulling you to him until you're hip to hip.

"no such thing, bonnie." when you open your mouth to argue, his grip tightens almost painfully. "we'll see ye then. and wear that colorful dress you've got. simon'll like it."

he means the one you're wearing in your nextdoor pfp.

did you hear him say you'll want him to like it? surely not.

[bibibuck]

on the issue of shannon being the love of eddie's life:

i think that so many people misunderstand those of us who are adamant that shannon is not, and was in fact never, the love of eddie's life as us dismissing the love they had or completely denying that their relationship was crucial and irreplaceable for eddie. but this is not the truth. someone does not need to be the love of your life in order to be incredibly important for you. someone does not need to be the love of your life in order to shape you and impact you in ways that no one else can. this is what i believe to be true for eddie and shannon.

let's ignore the philosophical debates about the concept of "the love of your life" for a second because we could be here all day discussing whether there even is such a thing, whether society pushes us to value romantic love more than platonic love, etc. i think it's clear 911 is having the "love of your life" conversation through the lens of romantic love in its biggest form. they're nudging us to think about "the love of your life" as both the person you romantically love most in the world (the love) and the person you are meant to be with (your life). "meant to be with" in the sense of creating a healthy and loving partnership and life with, one the extends for the rest of your life. and the idea is that this partnership is based on your romantic love for them. not what ties you to them practically or even emotionally in general. this lifelong partnership is a conscious romantic choice. hence, the love of your life.

i think it's clear to see that both henren and madney are shown to us as being couples that are "the love of their lives." they have those practical attachments now in the sense that they are parents together and will always be tied through that but there is the conscious romantic love there. and these are not perfect relationships. these are not couples that have never hurt each other. that is absolutely not what being "the love of someone life" is. making mistakes and cheating on someone and running away does not automatically disqualify you from being "the love of someone's life" let's get that very clear. but those things would and could break a relationship that was not with "the love of your life." you stay with someone through those things because the love you have for them is stronger than the mistakes you make. the romantic bond you have with them is so big and so strong (the love) that you choose them over and over and over again (your life).

there is a very interesting conversation to be had with bathena and the concept of "the love of your life." i believe bobby is a perfect example of someone who could be seen as potentially having two loves of his life. marcy was tragically lost for him but i truly think had she survived the fire it could be a possibility that bobby and her would have kept choosing and choosing and choosing each other through the tragedy and grief. or maybe not! maybe the pain of losing their kids would have pushed them away from each other. we don't know. so we can only take their relationship for what it was before she died: they did choose each other constantly based on the romantic love they shared. so they were, somewhat, the love of each other's lives. and then we have athena. athena had an over a decade long marriage with someone we can see was not the love of her life. and yet michael and athena's relationship could never be matched by anyone else. they loved each other deeply and i believe in athena's case even romantically at points, and yet michel was not the love of her life. bobby is.

because this is another thing about the "love of your life" concept that i think 911 is trying to showcase: there is a reciprocity to it. as i said it's about who you share your life with as much as it is about who you romantically love most so someone will not be the love of your life if you constantly love them from afar, or if you are married to them but the romantic love was lost long ago.

now let's dissect that a little for eddie and shannon.

it could be argued that shannon has been, until this day, eddie's biggest romantic love, or at least that eddie still sees it this way. so sure in the surface this would meet the first requirement to make shannon the love of eddie's life. and shannon died while her and eddie were still married so they shared her life together, so that could also meet the second requirement. but we can clearly see that both aspects just don't hold up at all.

why were shannon and eddie really sharing a life when they were married? was it their love that kept them together through eddie's running away and shannon's running away and the fights and the heartbreak? we have been shown over and over again that it wasn't. christopher was the main reason they stayed together and then came back to each other. there was also the familiarity. and there was love in the mix, yeah, but that was not why they chose each other the times that they did. so they are not the loves of each other's life if the feeling of romantic love was not the strongest thing that tied them outside of who they are to each other (the parent of their child, the first person they were ever with, their spouse on paper.)

and let's be honest, were eddie and shannon really choosing each other through it all? i don't think so at all. eddie was choosing his family, his son, his wife. but was he choosing shannon? shannon as a person? and even if he was (which i personally don't think so) shannon literally asked eddie for a divorce before she died. the reciprocity of "the love of their lives" would be absolutely lost on the fact that, had shannon stayed alive, her and eddie would be divorced by now, hence breaking the second requirement of "the love of your life" concept: choosing each other over and over and over again.

shannon is not, and was never, the love of eddie's life.

shannon is a person who has shaped eddie beyond belief. she has shaped eddie's views on romantic love, family, duty. she has shaped his view of himself, his identity as a husband and man.

shannon is a person who eddie loved and loves very deeply. maybe romantically, maybe not. we can all have our own perceptions here. i think he loved her deeply but not romantically, as i do think eddie is gay. but even if it is romantic, i think the reason this love is still to this day the biggest love eddie has ever had is not because he can't love harder or even with the same intensity, but because he won't allow himself.

those two things can be true (eddie loved her and shannon impacted him) without "shannon is the love of eddie's life" being true as well.

eddie thinks shannon is the love of his life because he still confuses "we got married" with "we chose each other." he confuses "i loved her" with "i was in love with her." he confuses "i wanted to keep my family together" with "i chose her." he confuses "i miss her terribly and will always wonder what could have been" with "i can never love anyone else."

shannon is not, and was never, the love of eddie's life.

whether or not you think buck is the love of eddie's life (which i could write another essay about), i think we should all see that part of eddie's healing has to come from realizing this fact and finally being able to move forward into seeing the love of his life is still out there for him to fully give himself to.

[estrellogy]

How to Use Astrology to HELP, not Hurt

I’ve been an astrology student for years and here are some helpful things to keep in mind when you read your own chart:

- Aspects don’t stand alone. They are always communicating with other aspects. That’s how the energy in you works. Dont reduce yourself to a single aspect and obsess over it. I dislike astrologers who use this helpful tool to instill fear.

If someone ever tells you an aspect means you’re doomed, I really advise you to question the person telling you this. Astrology should be use as a self-development guide, not something that you’re tied to and have no control over.

- There are no good or bad aspects, only what you make of it. For example, Venus trine Mars is considered a great aspect by many while Venus square Saturn is literally seen as the devil.

Venus trine Mars simply means the planets’ energies communicate harmoniously with each other. But, where there’s no conflict, there’s also less potential for growth and self-knowledge. It can lead to complacency and lack of discipline. Since it often attracts and receive positive reactions from people, it can actually make you become dependent on others’ approval. When you’re used to things always being positive, a small negative incident feels really big. And that leads to more unhappiness than a negative aspect would.

People often want things to always be easy. But pain is a teacher. That’s why Venus square Saturn is actually not as bad as people say, as long as you’re a willing student of life. When you allow the harsh aspects to show you where you need to develop and grow, you will truly embody the potentials of that aspect.

Venus square Saturn people often deal with insecurities when they’re younger. It’s usually called the “Ugly Duckling” aspect. They can become extremely judgmental with their appearance and always feel like they need to be physically perfect to be worthy. They overcompensate to prove their worth.

But once they learn that they’ve always been enough and recognize the beauty they hold WITHIN, they glow up without much effort at all. Even though they had to go through a lot, the confidence that they get from overcoming pain will be genuine, authentic, and lasting. It will not be affected as much by outside influences like Venus trine Mars. They actually become so magnetic because nothing shines more than inner beauty and self-assurance.

— If you want to use astrology terms, this is coming from someone with an Aries Moon, Virgo Venus, and Cap Mars. I am not afraid to tell you the truth, even when it’s unpleasant. I think a great teacher is someone who helps you recognize your own power, not instill fear and make you feel small. It’s tough love but I believe that this will help at least a few people patient enough to read through it all 🤍

[nereidprinc3ss]

i have thoughts on reid x dilaudid that i feel like i’ve never seen anyone talk about before so im gonna share

spoilers for s2 ofc and cw for discussions of substance abuse

something im thinking abt right now is that presumably reid was not psychologically or physically dependent on dilaudid yet by the time he was rescued from tobias hankel. of course he was incredibly traumatized and im not saying i wouldn’t anticipate wanting relief from that if i were him, but he could have gone without the drugs. he CHOSE to take the vials from tobias when he left. so if you think about it we didn’t even see the turning point into his addiction—he had to make the choice AGAIN to shoot up at some later point. he obviously knows the statistics abt addiction and the opioid crisis. but we know he really was addicted eventually. so after tobias, he got home and looked at those vials and made that choice to shoot up again, fully aware of what he was doing and all the implications and potential consequences but he was just in that much pain.

like it makes me so so sad to think about how smart he is and how his vast intellect was not enough to stop him at any point in the pursuit of getting high and he was contending with that the whole time, aware that he should be “too smart” for what he’s doing. like he had to procure syringes, he had to consider what he was potentially sacrificing, all while he was completely lucid, and he still made a fully conscious decision that it was more valuable to get high.

or maybe he convinced himself he was just going to use them to wean himself off because it would take a major toll on your body to receive all those drugs in such a short time frame. maybe he thought he could slowly detox. which might be even sadder. or maybe he was lying to himself the whole time and knew he just wanted to give himself permission to get high again. idk.

regardless it’s really really sad to think about how much effort he had to put into doing something he knew was terrible for him and how he chose it again and again because that’s how much he was hurting. like that scene of him holding the bottles and looking in the mirror at work hits a lot harder when you realize his addiction was not something just happened to him. he can’t entirely shirk the blame. i can’t even imagine how much self loathing he would have had going on at that time

(also i am fully aware that addiction is an illness and in many regards not a choice at all, but im saying its not likely he was actually clinically diagnostically addicted to dilaudid by the time he was freed. in that sense, he did make choices which contributed to his addiction, and he had to live with that, which i think is really highlighted by him looking in the mirror like what the fuck have i done to myself)

anyways im so sad now😂😂😂😂!!!!!! this is one of my favorite plot lines it was done so dirty!!

[tossawary]

So far (partway into the Hueco Mundo arc, I skipped the Bount arc completely), "Bleach" seems to... shy away from interesting consequences for the issues it directly brings up. (Also, oh, man, all the filler varies in quality so much and it is BRUTAL on the pacing of the main storylines.)

Like, I think a lot about the Soul Society arc had a lot of missed potential in general, but I also thought the end of it is where things get genuinely exciting. The Gotei 13 has been repeatedly shown to be uncaring, incompetent, cruel, authoritarian, etc. and it seems like the characters are fighting against this hollow structure built on unsustainable tradition finally cracking under the weight of whatever unjust powers are obviously behind Rukia's execution and apparently Aizen's murder. Multiple captains start turning against each other for different reasons. It seems like Ichigo is just one small part of a much larger world.

And then Aizen is revealed and things still feel pretty delicious! What he did to Momo was REALLY fucked up and painful to watch in many ways. It's not unreasonable that Aizen's betrayal immediately halts a lot of ongoing fights. It makes sense that the Captain Commander doesn't want to turn around afterwards and start executing people for turning against him after losing three captains and all of Central 46. But... I would still expect there to be more lasting cracks and broken trust between the remaining members of the Gotei 13. The top four members of Squad 11 briefly turned against the Gotei essentially for funsies and yet characters like Toshiro and Rangiku don't seem to have any real resentment or suspicion over this casual disloyalty. I vaguely hope the psychological weight of and anger surrounding Aizen's fuckery is explored more later on, with more seriousness, but I can't trust this show not to essentially drop the issue completely.

I don't need this show to have Soul Society turn into some socialist / communist / anarchist utopia. But it is a downer to have a character as absolutely vile as Kurotsuchi thrown in my face during his fight with Ishida, knowing that not only does Kurotsuchi survive, but he's presumably continuing his utterly inhumane work in the Soul Society while everything else is happening. And the show seems to treat him as more of a joke mad scientist in the background than someone as or even more evil as any of the hollows. And I can't fully trust that this aspect of the Soul Society will ever be honestly confronted, even as simply a deeply tragic element representative of the Gotei's unchanging hypocrisy.

The Gotei 13 has an assassination squad! You don't have an assassination squad unless you're regularly killing people who are "undermining" your power, probably including lots of poor people in the outer districts trying to organize communities, based on actual history. These aspects are what made the soul reapers such effective and complicated antagonists in the Soul Society arc! And the flip to "yeah, they're Ichigo's allies now, mostly" was very sudden and kind of... underwhelming.

I don't care if parts of this story are tragic and this obviously broken system is left mostly unchanged at the end, it's just annoying when the story treats certain aspects as happy endings or just a funny joke, instead of delving more seriously and deliciously into just messed up everything is! How the soul reapers are unable to handle the burdens here!

From what I vaguely remember overhearing, Aizen ends up being a relatively flat villain, with relatively shallow goals and motivations regarding taking over the worlds and rising to godhood, which feels like missed potential when there's so much about this world that sucks! If Aizen had any honest motivations about making things better for any group of people, including hollows and their shitty deal in all this for example, then we might actually have a more interesting dialogue happening about the state of everything. I would like to see him honestly appealing to Orihime's kindness and sense of mercy in order to get her to join him. Her brother turned into a hollow! She has reasons to care about hollows potentially wanting to be more human again and living better afterlives than fighting forever in the sands. Maybe Aizen could just be lying about helping other people, but it would be more interesting to see this type of persuasion, and I'm already fucking sick of so much of Orihime's motivations focusing on helping Ichigo instead of her feeling torn about her tragically and traumatically dead brother who turned into a hollow.

(Side note: I don't fully understand why Aizen didn't just take over the Gotei 13. Between his hypnosis and his minions and his plots to take out rivals, he could have surely installed himself as the next Captain Commander eventually. Neither Ukitake (chronically ill) nor Kyouraku (relaxed drunkard) seem to honestly want the weight of that position. Aizen just seems to like drama, I guess. Fair enough.)

I've just reached the fight between Rukia and Aaronerio who is pretending to be Kaien, and it feels like the story is bringing up a genuinely cool idea only to throw it aside as a trick by a relatively boring hollow character. What IF Kaien had become a hollow? What IF Kaien had joined Aizen because he had some legitimate grief with Soul Society and the Gotei 13? I have vague memories about Aizen having Kaien killed and framing the Shiba Clan because Kaien was investigating him, but it's sooooo boring to have Aizen be at fault for EVERYTHING. The fallen lieutenant / almost captain from a disgraced noble family treated badly by Soul Society... turned into a hollow and forced to survive tragedy he wanted to kill him and unable to return to the Gotei 13 for help? Joining up with Aizen because he wants to take down the Soul Society and make a better world? That's COMPELLING. That's COMPLICATED. That's something that promises to get MESSY if Aizen is lying to Kaien and/or Kaien has genuinely lost his way and/or Kaien HAS A POINT. But the show brings it up only to bail on the concept.

Maybe some of the things I've talked about here will be brought up later on. I expect them to keep bringing up many of these issues, actually! I honestly just don't expect satisfying explorations and resolutions to anything, given what I've seen so far. They're just not going for the good stuff.

(I have this playing in the background while working on other stuff. If I put on a better anime, I would actually want to pay more attention to it.)

[fatkish]

Could you do a Aizawa x suicidal daughter please?Sorry if this is too dark but I’ve seen some of your other works about stuff like this and it makes me feel seen I guess thanks :)

(Sorry Anon, I know that you specifically asked for an x daughter reader, but I feel that this is a topic that happens to a lot of people so I decided that I would make it Gender Neutral since everyone could used a little Dadzawa every now and then. If you want me to make one specifically for a Dadzawa x Daughter Reader then I’ll do that.)

Father Aizawa x Suicidal Reader

If I was Happy

TRIGGER WARNING: The following contains mentions of suicide ideation, self harming thoughts and feelings and other potentially triggering things. Please be advised and refrain from reading if this will trigger you.

You hadn’t always struggled with these kind of thoughts and feelings, or maybe you did. Maybe you had these thoughts before, but it had felt like so long, you couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t feel this way.

You didn’t understand why you felt so horrible about yourself or when it started but you knew that originally, you didn’t think this way about yourself.

As these horrible thoughts ran rampant in your mind, thoughts of how you’re worthless, maybe you’re fat or you’re too skinny. Maybe you’re ugly or you have acne. Maybe your nose just doesn’t fit your face, or you have oily or greasy hair that you just can’t get rid of. Maybe you heard people who made fun of you and their words made you bully yourself worse than they did. Maybe you hated everything about yourself and you couldn’t take it anymore. Or maybe the state of the world was too depressing and you didn’t want to be a part of it. Whatever the case is, your world grew darker as you turned on yourself. You became your own worse critic. But still, you didn’t let anyone see the truth, especially your amazing dad.

And maybe that’s when you finally got the idea. The thought that maybe you should die.

You couldn’t remember when the last time was that you didn’t have these thoughts. It’s like a demon came inside of you and decided to poison you, making you hate yourself and everything that you were.

It hurts. It hurts to live like this. People can say things like, it’s selfish to kill yourself. Or killing yourself isn’t the solution. That you’re only hurting the ones that love you, but if those people really loved you, then wouldn’t they want your suffering to end? Why would the people that love you want you to suffer? Aren’t they the ones being selfish? You wouldn’t force an animal that’s in pain and has little to no quality of life to continue living just because you love them. Right? That’s inhumane. So why must you keep living if you don’t have any quality of life?

These were the kind of thoughts that plagued you late at night. You tried your hardest to live on and not let anyone know that you were suffering, especially your dad.

Your dad was amazing. He’s the best father you could ask for. Maybe he isn’t perfect, but you never once doubted his love for you. You knew that one of his best friends had died when he was in highschool. You know that it severely affected him. He might not be the most affectionate person in the world, but he doesn’t have to be. His eyes and smile say it all.

One night, you couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. You decided that you would write a letter and explain to your dad why you killed yourself and tell him is wasn’t his fault. You loved him so much, he’s always been there for you. But you know how stressful his life is and you just can’t fight off the part of you that believes you’re a burden to him. Your dad doesn’t need anymore stress especially from you. So you write a note and decided to do something special for him. You wrote, played and recorded a song for him.

(Play song above or play on YouTube)

Dear God, please, hear me out

I know it's been a couple years

Since I've reached out and said hello

I bet You're wondering

Why I keep

Obsessing on and stressing all the little things

When I should be

Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have

No excuse to give you, it's true

Hanging by a thread's how I live

I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames, acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

As you played the song and sang, you didn’t know that your dad had come home. He knew that you had been learning to play instruments from Hizashi but he didn’t realize you were this good. He started to walk up the stairs and as he listened to the lyrics, his heart began to hurt, as he wondered why you sang this particular song, and with such emotion too.

Yeah, been this way so long

It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed

I got some issues that I won't address

I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest

I got some traumas that I can't forget

I got some phone calls I been avoiding

Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip

Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips

Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet

Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul

And the last to admit I need a hand to hold

Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road

Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

Your dad listed outside your door as he took in the words and began to worry and hope that you were just going through an edgy phase but with his experience, and his gut, he knew that is wasn’t just a trivial thing.

Don't know what's around the bend

Don't know what my future is

But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy

As you put down the guitar and walked up to the recording device you spoke.

“Dad, I know that you’re probably upset… no… you’re definitely upset and I’m sorry for causing you this pain, but I just couldn’t keep living like this. The pain is never ending and I don’t think it ever will. You’ve been so great to me all these years and I love you so much… I … I’m sorry. I know it hurts and I don’t ever want you to blame yourself for what I chose to do. I’m sorry I hurt you and you don’t ever have to forgive me for taking my own life, I know I won’t forgive myself for the pain it’s causing you. There wasn’t anything you could have done to prevent this… I love you… and I always will…”

You couldn’t continue as your tears overflowed and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. As you fell to the floor with your face in your hands a pair of sting arms wrapped around you and pulled you into a strong chest. Through your crying you could hear the crying of another person, and through your tears you saw the familiar black shirt and white capture scarf that belonged to your dad.

As you cried you wrapped your arms around your dad and continued to cry into his shoulder. He pulled you into his lap and cradled you in his arms as he held you tightly, afraid to let you go.

“I’m so sorry that you feel this way but please don’t do anything drastic, please. Baby I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. You mean everything to me and you’re the reason I come home every day. You’re my world and my everything. So please… please… don’t kill yourself or hurt yourself anymore. I don’t think my heart could take it”

Aizawa cried as he spoke softly into your hair as he held you. He remembered the day he first met you in the hospital. Your tiny newborn body was so small, your little hand could barely wrap itself around his pinky finger, but you held his hand for the first time. Your tiny little hand held onto his finger as tears spilled down his cheeks as he took in the sight of his newborn child. He feel in love at first sight as he held your tiny body. He vowed to protect you and be there for you no matter what.

And you opened your eyes and looked into his. You were his whole world. The only things that existed in the moment were Aizawa and his newborn child. To him, you’re everything, you’re what he fight to come home to, you’re his reason to live and survive even the most gruesome and brutal fights. He’ll never give up and he’ll always come home to you. After all, that’s the promise he made you when he first met you.

As you both pulled away and looked into each other’s teary eyes, you smiled and laughed.

“What’s so funny”

“You’ve got snot on your shoulder… I’m so sorry”

You apologized but couldn’t help but laugh at that for whatever reason. Your dad just smiled softly and wrapped his arms around you.

“You do realize I changed your diapers when you were a baby right? You puked on me, shit on me, there’s no body fluid that you haven’t already gotten on me” he smiled as you laughed even harder at the image of a younger him covered in baby vomit with a grossed out face.

As you both laughed and he told you stories of you as a baby, he remembered everything he loved about you.

“I love you sweetheart, I always will. Tomorrow, we are going to the hospital to get your mental health evaluated and whatever happens, I promise I’ll be there for you, okay”

“Okay”

You gave you dad one last hug before cleaning everything up and you decided to take a bath before bed.

(I might make a part 2 to this so if you’re interested in a part 2, just comment 2 or part 2 to let me know if anyone is interested in a sequel of this fic.)

[chaifootsteps]

Making him have the flower of loyalty to represent his relationship with Blitzo really just shows how much of a cancer Stolitz has become to this show because no matter how much it steps on others it will always take center. Again Stolitz slowly has become just ship material instead of a good character which has hurt him so much it's painful. Gone is the story potential he could have had if he had remained an actual demon lord in behavior who has a great interest in an imp.

Never mind that he's once displayed actual traits of loyalty, never been loyal to anyone...Viv just slaps on the flower of loyalty and knows her standom will defend it as gospel.

[millionancientbees]

Something I think a lot of ppl forget when they’re dealing with suicidal people is that a lot of us are suicidal because we can’t afford or access basic needs, let alone creature comforts.

Before sending your suicidal friend to the mental hospital to maybe be severely traumatized by even less autonomy and also potentially lose their jobs and housing, have you:

-spent time with them so they’re not alone with their thoughts and organized a care group of their friends to help take care of tasks that are overwhelming?

-made a post or group chat to raise funds for bills that are looming and making them feel like they’ll never be able to succeed at life? Tried to help connect them with resources? Offered to sit down with them while they make calls? Offered to take a look at their debt and see if it can be refinanced? Etc, based on your skills, who you know, what you have the resources and comfort and closeness with the person to allow

-taken them to do some fun things? Gotten them out of their house and into the sun?

-gotten them something sweet or comforting or good smelling or whatever? A simple $5 candle can be a reason for someone to smile and feel cared about.

-gotten them tools to manage their sensory needs? Are they over or under stimulated? I will become immediately suicidal if I hear too many sounds while hungry or tired or upset or overheated or or or

I’m not saying the hospital is never the answer. I’m not saying don’t take people who are immediately in danger. I’m not saying you have to do this for people who are behaving in a way that will hurt you. But if you care about someone who is suicidal, this is something to think about.

I have literally been suicidal for as long as I can remember (and I remember a lot of my very early childhood) and some of the small things that have legitimately kept me alive over the years include:

-my friends buying me noise canceling headphones

-my friends taking me on a vacation

-my partner letting me read out loud to them when they were playing video games every night

-my friends buying my art or sending me money to help pay bills, get my car fixed, etc

-my sister giving me rides to my doctor appointments and buying me a little treat afterwards

-my friends sharing their audible/netflix/hulu/libby accounts with me so i had something to focus on other than wanting to die

-friends taking me out to dinner and letting me talk about my special interests

-my friend giving me houseplants and teaching me how to keep them alive, which required spending quality time together whenever I needed to learn something new and gave them an excuse to bully me into leaving my depression nest when nobody else could

-my friend buying me a vape when I was breaking apart and had nothing to do with my hands and nothing to calm my very upset nervous system and $2 in the bank and also I was going through withdrawals

-my friend teaching me how to drive and helping me get my license so I could have some autonomy

Like it really can be that simple. We sometimes forget that therapy and meds can only do so much at a time, and some people get treatment for their entire lives and still struggle a lot even when they do everything right, especially when they’re dealing with complicated issues like other disabilities, chronic pain, poverty, abusive situations/ongoing trauma, etc.

[tekatonic]

concept : sonic fangame in which sonic somehow gets stuck in his super form and has to collect rings in each stage so that the emeralds don't KILL HIM by feeding off his life force instead of the rings, all the while looking for a solution to the problem

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.

(Part 2)

[athina-blaine]

for my money, labru is head and shoulders above other ships involving them simply due to the unmatched yap potential, i imagine them feeding off each other's energy like they're slipstreaming in mario kart until they start going fast enough to break the sound barrier

[adrift-in-thyme]

Here it is! The fairy Time fic I promised. Be warned, it is extremely fluffy

-------------------------------------------

It is a quiet night.

Time is always grateful for those. They are in short supply on this journey, too often interrupted by the rise of the cursed Blood Moon or an outburst of beasts from under the cover of foliage. But tonight, the moon is tranquil and golden and the surrounding bushes and trees conceal nothing except chattering critters.

The heroes have settled around the fire, and are trading lazy quips. The occasional tale sneaks in between them, which quickly becomes a competition to see who has endured the more exciting experience. 

Time doesn’t normally make a habit of joining in. He is content to remain just outside the conversation, close enough to comment if necessary, but far enough to merely listen. Such peace and joy are precious things – as precious as every moment spent by Malon’s side – and they surround him like a warm blanket.  

Tonight, however, that wonderful feeling is making it rather difficult to remain awake. 

It doesn’t help that the healing spells he had cast in the aftermath of today’s battle have left him feeling drained. With the traveler down and their potions used up, he had had little choice but to act. And he doesn’t regret it in the least. But that doesn’t negate the fact that healing magic has never been his strong suit.

Every fae possesses the power, yet not all have the strength to employ it in such a measure as he had today. Healing is a delicate act. It requires attentiveness and care, dedication and focus. He had poured all of that and more into his spells, used his heart and mind, his soul to heal his brothers’ wounds and save their lives. And in the moments afterward…had collapsed. 

He is fortunate his brothers had been there to catch him. Too many times before he learned his limit, this weakness had spelled his doom. He has scars on his wings to prove it.

Still, he is practically useless, even now after the impromptu nap. He feels dried up and hollowed out, limbs heavy with the same exhaustion that drags his eyelids downward. And though he would normally protest at least a little at the prospect of staying in his current position, he cannot dredge up the will to do so.

So, here he remains, curled up on his side on Wind’s lap, Warriors’ scarf a silken cocoon about his body, one giant wing draped over him like a comforter. 

He shifts with a small sigh. The sailor giggles, ever amazed at his fairy form, and reaches out to run a finger over Time’s wings. He is gentle, careful in every movement. Still, Time is a bit surprised at the lack of the fear that usually bubbles up whenever anyone touches him in this form.

He has had too many injuries, too many close calls with death or worse. They have made him wary. But he trusts the sailor. Wind is nothing if not kind. 

He is safe here. 

The knowledge hits him harder than any monster blow.

You are safe here.

Something breathtakingly warm wells up in him at that thought, similar to the feeling he has been basking in since he awakened, yet unique all the same.

“Alright, old man?” A soft voice asks, now, and Time pries open the eye he hadn’t even registered closing. Warriors grins down at him. 

Time’s soft hum quickly dissolves into a blissful sigh as the captain tucks him more securely into his bed of softness. He allows his eye to slide shut again, his body to relax more fully. He allows the sensations and sounds to envelop him, surround him in warmth and comfort. To pull him down into blessed darkness once more.

“He’s adorable like this,” Wind says, his noisy whisper breaking through the haze. Another giddy giggle bursts forth from him like gurgling water. 

“He is, isn’t he?” It’s Twilight now. Time can imagine the dirt-eating grin on his face, the same one that spreads across Malon’s when she beats him in yet another race around the pasture. “Though I doubt he wants us calling him that.”

There’s a pause, then in a disapproving whisper-yell, “and he definitely doesn’t want that. Put that slate of yours away, champion!”

There is the distinct sound of a camera snapping a photograph. Laughter ripples through the group like the wind through the trees. 

“When he kills you all, don’t come running to me,” Twilight says, though there’s laughter in his voice too.

Traitors, Time thinks, lazily, all of them.

“Oh, come on, Twi. Look at him! He wouldn’t hurt us! Not like this anyway.”

“Then, you haven’t gotten a good look at his wings,” Legend pipes up, drily. “They’ve got eyes on them, you know.”

“Ooh.” Time can feel Wind’s breath ghosting him as the boy leans down to get a closer look. “I wonder if they make up for the one he lost. I’ll bet he can see us through ‘em!”

If Time wasn’t quite so tired (or finding this quite so exasperatingly comical) he would correct that assumption. But then again, what’s the harm in allowing a little rumor like that to spread and strike some healthy fear into the hearts of his would-be blackmailers? 

“Come on guys.” Warriors’ voice rises above the hushed clamor of the others, all bickering about Time’s ability, or lack thereof to watch them through his wings. “He’s exhausted. Let him sleep.”

The heroes try to quiet, though their efforts are about as successful as Time suspected they would be. Whispers and barely stifled laughter continue to weave their way gallantly through the night.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

…though a few more telltale clicks of Wild’s slate cement his decision to play a prank on him as soon as he regains his strength. 

“He’s so small,” someone murmurs, now as the hubbub begins to subside, sleepiness getting the best of even the most energetic among them. Sky, Time’s mind slowly supplies, putting a face to the voice that wafts gently around him. “To think, he healed us all while in that form…”

“Something you get to know very quickly about Sprite is that size doesn’t bother him,” Warriors replies, fondness in his tone. “Even as a kid, he could take out groups of monsters much larger than what we faced today.”

Sky chuckles, soft and almost sad. Time is too far gone to decipher why. 

But he can’t deny the sudden rush of warmth when the chosen hero whispers, “thank you…little one.” And when, in the next moment, Sky ghosts a finger over the very tip of his wings, Time is unafraid beneath his touch. 

He drifts off not long afterward to the sound of tired murmurs, the crackling of the campfire, and a soft song played upon an ocarina, the notes drifting up toward the moon.

[tofixtheshadows]

Inside of me are two wolves.

One really loves the way the fandom moniker "Kabru of Utaya" sounds and how it gives Kabru the dignity of a full name, and how it connects him to his past.

The other knows that "[x] of [location]" is canonically the dwarven cultural naming practice and thus Kabru would never go by it in canon.

[hayleysummers]

every single one of Elijah’s love interests are incredibly hot and badass woman, and that’s just what happens when you’re the sexiest man in the entire tvdu

[sapirserket]

Trials and Tribulations is weird because it's a masterpiece in storytelling but it's also the Worst game in the trilogy at handling its female characters

[nabaath-areng]

I haven't RPed in like 4 years and I'm severely more limited than last time, so... any disabled RPers got any tips for someone who's scared of dipping their toes back in due to their limitations? I'm a bit hesitant to just dive in given how much has changed in my absence, as well as worried about how my unpredictable health might affect the quality of my participation...