#there's still some painful moments

[not-poignant]

82/? - Underline the Black (omegaverse) - Efnisien/Gary

Title: Underline the Black Rating: Explicit Pairing: Efnisien ap Wledig/Dr Gary Konowalous Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Darkfic, Disturbing themes, Age Gap, Omegaverse, Alpha/Alpha, no Mpreg, Medical experimentation, Medical trauma, Dominance/Submission, Dystopian universe, Forced bonding, Forced relationship, Imprisonment, Nonconsensual medical procedures, PTSD, Flashbacks, Nightmares, Chronic illness, Mating cycles/Heats, Knotting, Miscommunication, Trauma recovery, Mind control, Child Abuse, Hope, Hopeful ending.

Summary: Efnisien ap Wledig is an omega born into an all-alpha family. Abandoned by his birth mother and raised by his aunt, he is subjected to a lifetime of medical experimentation and brainwashing and believes himself to be an alpha. But the experiments begin to fail, and he is abandoned yet again to an Omega Rehabilitation Facility, where the family expects he will be retrained into the ‘perfect omega’ and placed in an arranged marriage, or be eliminated if this is no longer possible.

The Facility don’t know about the experiments, and Efnisien doesn’t even know why he’s in there in the first place, since he’s an alpha…isn’t he? One thing’s for certain, he definitely doesn’t need an alpha companion, no matter what the staff at the facility seem to think.

Underline the Black - Chapter 82 - Selfies @ AO3

In which Gary takes Efnisien walking along the trail again, and they have a conversation about different things. Gary sparks off Efnisien's interest in photography and encourages him, and breaks his heart in the process thinking about all the normal experiences Efnisien never got to have growing up.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this story possible!

The following early access extras are also currently available on the Augus & Gwyn, and Efnisien & Gary tiers at Patreon and Ream:

Underline the Red - 05 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Red - 06 - Caleb/Faber Underline the Gold - 07 - Flitmouse/Anton The Nascent Diplomat - 42 - Augus/Gwyn Constellations - 05 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 06 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Constellations - 07 - Efnisien + Gwyn (post Falling Falling Stars) Underline the Blue - 13 - Nate/Janusz Underline the Blue - 14 - Nate/Janusz

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[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

[canisalbus]

Hello! I hope I won't sour your mood with this ask but I have been thinking a lot about your gay dogs this month especially.

I'll just try to keep the context short but in general I'm someone that has accepted being romantically undesireable. It was hard but in the end I have built my life just around me, my humble family and at this point in time I don't even think I have the time for a partner. And considering that it's the love month and a lot of people are preparing to celebrate it with their SOs I assumed that, actually, this is a thing that I sort of have in common with Machete.

From the miscellaneous lore on your profile I see Machete as someone that also has kind of rejected love. That also has built his life around his job, possibly hobbies, his family or mentors (depending if we're talking about canon or modern au). Who kind of forgot that relationships are a thing and that people bond with others in that way. Well, at least he did until meeting Vasco.

I just love thinking about their awkward beginnings. Machete being 100% sure that Vasco is just joking, maybe even sometimes teasing him (in a friendly banter type way) or just explaining to himself that all that kindness and interest is just him being a very considerate friend. And then we have Vasco that just tries to be subtle, as if he was trying to pass a fawn without it noticing and running away, but also with time gains confidence and tries more risque moves. Vasco being all smug and Machete being flustered when their hands or shoulders or tails brush in passing. And then when both are sure of their feelings we have Machete who has to choose between God and his love. Who, at first, unwillingly accepts that divine wrath will be worth their brief love.

I just love your boys. I swear they are all the love supply one might possibly need

Thank you for such a long and thoughtful message! I don't know why you thought you might accidentally sour my mood, I'm utterly delighted whenever I hear that someone has been pondering my little guys (rotating them in their head, as they say), and when they go through the trouble of sharing their findings and conclusions I'm so happy I could crawl up a wall.

I think you deciphered Machete's inner workings very well, especially those of the original canon version. The concept of love is of course prominent in Christianity, so even as a kid being raised in a religious environment that discouraged overt displays of affection and close personal bonds, Machete wasn't completely alienated from it. But it has always been a nebulous, unperceivable and unattainable thing for him. When he was old enough to lock down his career choice he readily accepted he'd never have romantic relationships, spouse or a family, and I think he must've been too young and socially inexperienced to think of it as a significant loss. Either he consciously blocked out the need for companionship by studying and working like his life depended on it, or he didn't really consider that being genuinely befriended, appreciated and loved as a person instead of a respectable and competent authority figure was even an option for him, at least not until Vasco came along.

[haunted-planes]

The Roombas from planes 2

[lunarharp]

:')

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[sidereon-spaceace]

torn between wanting to make all my ocs Specialest Little Guys and overpowered VS. the fact I just finished watching all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings and am deeply moved by the struggles and worth of the common man

[broadwayfangirl222]

[anistarrose]

After rewatching the Thanks For Watching trilogy, I actually have to double down on my controversial opinion: Hunter never having to directly face off against Belos again after Thanks to Them is actually super satisfying and cathartic in an understated, underrated way. He said everything he needed to say after the worst thing that Belos ever did to him, and from then on, he didn't know it yet but he was free. I'm so happy for him.

[pussywiki]

One line in particular that has stuck in my brain aside from the obvious: Prapai’s “please don’t joke with me” after asking Sky what he meant. It’s so desperate but it’s also kinda vulnerable?? Like he wants Sky so bad but there’s something off about this and he needs to pause and the last thing he wants is for this to be some joke. Because that’s mostly what he’s gotten from Sky up until this point: teasing, sarcasm, just a lot of pushback and testing Pai’s dedication to him. He can’t read Sky’s mind and know that he’s falling just as hard, he’s just hoping against hope and just fucking “please don’t let this be another test, please don’t tease me in this way, please don’t push me away if I act on this, please let me love you how you deserve to be loved, how I NEED to love you, please please please”

[good-beanswrites]

I wanted to see your LCSYS take on the differences in the prisoners' uniforms in the Milgram Hallucination event:

The outfits all zip in the front, even those that wouldn't in the art. Shugo wears a coat instead of a cape. Ryota doesn't have half of his uniform tucked in. Minami is wearing a skirt under her costume. (Hi Nott!) Maybe I missed some.

Hmm, that's a neat detail! Because presumably they'd have their uniforms on hand, and they should just wear those. The fact that they had to create new ones leads to a few possibilities: 1. Milgram didn't realize what a hit the songs would be, and figured they wouldn't need these random straightjackets anymore. They got rid of them after the experiment, 2. Milgram gave the prisoners their uniforms to keep and they're the ones that threw them out, not caring to remember their life of restraints, or 3. Milgram does actually face some real-world consequences for being incredibly shady, and all their possessions are currently being investigated by the government. I personally think option 3 is funniest, and enjoy picturing Jackalope planning a live concert and selling merch while simultaneously trying to cover up a huge potential scandal/legal battle behind the scenes asdfsdf.

Amane's case is slightly different, since hers has to do with her own clothes. I like to think it'd be a sign of her leaving her old life behind and starting over. When Mahiru takes her in, (with Amane's permission,) she completely replaces her wardrobe to remove any painful memories that may be attached. There are a few things she liked too much to part with, maybe including her purple hat :) When it's time to perform, Jackalope offers to find her a skirt just like her original, but she prefers to do without it.

[sysig]

I wasn’t using that heart anyway it’s fine (Patreon)

[sskk-manifesto]

:)

[dimensionalspades]

I told myself and my family I wasn't gonna do my veggie garden this year because I couldn't stand to garden without Tylee by my side. But after a bit of coaxing from various people I'm glad I started because it makes me so happy to be out working on cleaning up the beds and prepping and seeing all the plants get bigger. As a bonus, Sammi really wants to be outside with me right now. Remains to be seen if she wants to do what Tylee used to but I'm hoping she wants to come garden with me this year in Tylee's stead.

[lgbtlunaverse]

It's a really heartwrenching sequence as it's happening but looking back at the part where jgy grabs jin ling as a hostage in guanyin temple I always crack up when he starts to assure everyone that he really likes a-ling, actually! He practically raised him, he really doesn't want to hurt him so don't worry and please just do as he says.

A-yao. Sweetheart. The point of taking a hostage is that the people you're negotiating with believe you're going to kill the hostage so you can use their wellbeing as a bargaining chip. Saying "Oh yeah I really like this hostage I don't want to hurt him" kind of ruins the point of a hostage. What are you doing?

[luvsavos]

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3