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#these are all really just based on my own writing experiences but i really do hope it was helpful to you!
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Headcannon: Levi dealing with your self harm and eating disorders (massive trigger warning)
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‼️Massive massive trigger warning, please if you can not handle these topics do not engage with this post! ‼️
I have been clean from sh for five years now, and clean from disordered eating and eating disorders for about three years now, and I remember when I was really struggling with these issues I would constantly read Levi headcannons and fics, and it would make me feel better, so now I want to write these, to see if it would make anyone else feel better! Though be aware I’m still getting used to writing headcannons so if they aren’t the best be aware. I am basing this off my own experiences, so if you don’t like how I characterize things, move on.
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Self harm - cutting mostly implied
- If he catches you doing it, he slowly takes the weapon out of your hands, and kisses gently at your cheeks, especially if you’re crying.
- If he finds the scars he just stares at you, not really knowing how to handle it
- He doesn’t push you to talk about it, but if you ever want to, he is completely ready to listen.
- If you allow him too, he loves kissing among your scars.
- He removes all sharp things from your room, and he hides all the sharp things in his room, he doesn’t want to take any chances.
- If you ever have any urges, he talks you through them, or sometimes if you want to feel pain really badly, he will take out to the courtyard and train you in a fight.
- He mostly comforts you by distracting you from urges and pain, he’s not exactly great on comforting you through words but he tries his best.
- If you ever feel bad about wearing something that can show your scars, he encourages you to, and if someone has a problem with it, he’ll handle it.
- Ultimately he is the best help you could ever have in your life during this time.
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Disordered eating and eating disorders:
- When he first sees that you avoid eating purposely, he’s a little confused. Not in a mean way, but growing up with so little food he’s confused on why someone would purposely avoid eating.
- If you ever get uncomfortable eating in front of other people, he eats with you in your room, or his office, which is the preferred spot to eat in.
- He starts brewing special tea for stomach cramps, and any other complications, he has a tea for that.
- If you suffer from bulimia (which is what I suffered from), he will constantly give you stuff to repair your throat, and stomach.
- If he ever catches you vomiting back up your food, he helps you get the last of it up, he holds back your hair, and he wipes off your face. But he doesn’t let you get off incredibly easy.
- He doesn’t let you binge so that you can’t vomit back up, he doesn’t let you be alone after you eat.
- He of course let’s you go to the bathroom alone, but if he hears the sound of vomiting he will rush in.
- He never presses you to talk, but he does eventually take you into his arms, and kinda begs what made you do this. He blames himself in a way, because he feels like a bad partner by not looking out for you more.
- But he doesn’t beg for your assurance, that it’s not his fault, he’s not a dick.
- When you tell him the reasoning, what ever it is, he just holds you. If someone made you feel this bad, that you had to resort to not eating or vomiting up your food, consider them dead and cold.
- On recovery, he doesn’t let you eat alone. No matter what you suffer from, he doesn’t want you to eat alone. So you don’t calorie restrict or so you don’t binge.
- He encourages you to eat better by talking about how beautiful your extra weight is, and loves leaving kisses along any parts of your body you consider “ugly”
- To help you recover he challenges you to eat certain foods, and is always there with you when you did it.
- No matter what he sticks by your side, and always reassures you you’re beautiful. 
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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i have planned to write a pseudo-essay or some kind of detailed look at linebeck in phantom hourglass and how he can be interpreted as autistic but thats not going very well right now so here are some autistic linebeck headcanons
He has low empathy and as such has a hard time responding very well to emotional situations, but he can take advantage of his lower empathy in situations where empathy could make things harder, like tending to wounds or rationally handling emotionally-charged situations
His coat is a comfort object and he made it specifically to act as a very slight accommodation; it’s heavy and barely lets any light through it, and he can keep all kinds of little things in pockets sewn into the inner lining, but larger objects do make it more uncomfortable to wear at times. It’s mostly good to carry around things to fidget or stim with and can be helpful in trying to recover from overwhelming sensory experiences
He doesn’t usually stim in public, but taps his fingers on tables quickly and tends to rhythmically snap his fingers when excited, and on his ship is more vocal and more willing to stim, even if around others. One of his main stims that he’ll do for no particular reason is that he’ll hold his arm or back of his wrist/hand up to his nose and mouth for the smell.
He masks frequently to please people. His default mask is that arrogant and brave front he puts up for islanders and other he may come across. Usually, if that mask doesn’t work, he tends to double-down because it usually works and, in his experience, dropping the mask has usually gone badly (non masking he’s rude and blunt but more outwardly excited about adventure and his ship and all of that, i consider it where overseas in the game is when he usually isn’t masking. this shifts his arc to be about him learning to stop masking and feel comfortable being himself)
His special interests could include stuff related to treasure hunting but it could really range from stuff about adventuring or the ocean or engineering (relating to his ship) to stuff not at all touched in the game like music. He really enjoys music, listening to it, playing it, and writing it. He also enjoys and is fascinated by shellfish.
When busy or otherwise occupied, he doesn't usually notice when he's hungry. He doesn't have as much of a problem noticing thirst or exhaustion, but feeling hunger is a problem for him, and often leads to him going a long time without eating. On the other hand, he doesn't mind eating the same thing repeatedly and is perfectly fine with blander foods, so handling food supplies for when he'll be overseas for a long time is easy for him.
He knows he's autistic, he's known for a pretty long time, and he has books on it; he also knows that Link is autistic, but doesn't say anything about it and instead waits until someone else tells him. Until (and after, I suppose) Link actually learns that he's autistic Linebeck just makes sure to keep note of what accommodations he might need and if there are any textures or tastes or smells he can't stand. He doesn't have much of a problem helping out during sensory overloads, even soon after meeting him. It's more out of understanding how it feels to not have your needs met and a sort of solidarity rather than actual friendship.
#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#OBVIOUSLY he experiences some nasty rsd and he's a bitch about it that's like. basically canon so i didnt mention it#a lot of linebeck’s autism is based and referenced off of my own with some extra additions#which is why i have an easier time writing him as autistic than link#kindness is a choice and having low or no empathy does not in any way make someone heartless but linebeck does abuse his own low empathy#to be a mean bitch with minimal emotional consequences#i think linebeck would call link a dipshit to his face and then not feel bad about it for like a few weeks until he starts caring abt him#linebeck stimming by smelling his arm is actually my main stim. its probably why i sit all fucked up bc i sometimes do it w/ my legs lol#the masking bit does kinda fuck some stuff up but i personally enjoy that take on him#one of his comfort objects is an old orange cat plushie named copernicus and if you know what that is specifically from thank you im sorry#linebeck being way into music has no canon backup i just like the idea of him playing piano and composing some form of his own theme#piano is a mad sensory experience btw i dont yet know how to really play it but when i did keyboard in pit it was a fantastic feeling#bangin' out the tunes. it was a really good sort of stim if i was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the new tech and music too#salty talks#not entirely an autism headcanon but he thinks gender is a sham and less identifies as a man and more specifically considers#his gender identity to be 'real man of the sea' which is initially kinda silly but kind of a fucking gender move tbh#i dont think he's explicitly trans or nb he's just having fun fucking with his own gender and doing whatever he feels like doing#he isnt a man but he is a man. kind of like how im a dude but also not. yeah.#these were initally going to be call 'quick' headcanons but you can see why i uh. didn't end up going with that
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lunargrapejuice · 1 year
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hii! i’m only starting my blog now, and i wanted to ask for a few writing tips, if you wish to share. i’ve been a fan of your works for a long time now, and i really really love the way you write! 🩵
hi babes! aaa congrats, thats so exciting!😍💖
i feel honored you'd ask dgfhfk🥺 hopefully this is okay!
i think my biggest piece of advice is to be kind to yourself and be so very self indulgent <3 writing can be hard sometimes and writers block can feel even worse but writing what you love and brain rot about can be so freeing and fun and bring out so much inspritation/passion!
this is something im really working on myself but trying to write consistently, to keep that writers voice active in your head even if its ideas you'll never share or don't think are good or are just silly or short. the more you write, the more you can practice and play around and really find your writing style 😊
i can't stress this one enough though - it is absoletuly okay and necessary to take breaks whenever you need them <3
write at your own pace and use plenty of references when you need them! there are so many cool tool online for writers that can help you out with things like helping you identify words when you can't quite remember the exact one you're looking for, websites for combating writers blocks, etc
i also think that talking with friends and moots and your followers can be really inspriational and amazing too💗 i can't tell you how many of my fics have come to life thanks to ideas that were submitted to me or because my friends and i were talked about a little idea or the way the characters would react it x happened or shared an art and said like 'okay but what if-'🥰💖
ahh okay sorry this was kinda long - i really hope you enjoy your blog and writing!🥺💖
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pinkseas · 2 years
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for the ask game!
The Egg did this to you, you know. You hate it more than anything. You want to tear it to shreds, want to watch it bleed and wither and rot into nothingness. You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you. You want to make it hurt the way that it hurt you.
But you miss it, too. You hate it more than anything and you miss it, even though you know you shouldn't, even though it makes you feel sick, disgusting, ashamed. What kind of person loves the thing that killed them? What kind of person loves the thing that hurt so many people?
The Egg loved you at the same time that it made you unworthy of love. It gave you a purpose, a home, at the same time that it made sure you wouldn't belong anywhere other than by its side again.
You want to rip it open and crawl inside of it and never feel cold again. You want to tear it apart with your bare hands. You want to sink your teeth into its flesh and consume it until the hole it left inside of you has been filled. You want to hear it scream. You want to let it rot your heart until there's nothing left of you. You want to eat it alive. You want bloodvines to wrap around your throat and drag you back into the earth. Do you want to kill it, or do you want it to kill you? The line blurs, and blurs, and blurs.
Not that it matters. It's already dead, and you think you are too.
ANONNNNNNNNNN god this scene was so. it was so. it was very Interesting to write this is one of the ones where half the time i look back and im like "god i love that for me" and half the time i look back and im like "what the Fuck"
okay, so, heres the thing. i see a LOT of symbolism and potential with the egg, shit like addiction and dependency and especially abuse. and that aspect is what i was really trying to highlight here. i wanted to express how difficult the aftermath of a heavily dependent, abusive relationship is- feeling like it shaped you yet wanting nothing to do with it, wondering if you know how to exist without it, feeling like you owe it everything and like it killed you all at once.
and those feelings get intense. whether one way or another they can get VERY extreme, which is a lot of what that first (and second to last) paragraph is, trying to highlight how vicious those thoughts are. "You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you." is pretty much exactly what the next sentence says it is- its how i picture what the eggpire feels the egg did to it, seeping into their very being and rotting them from the inside out.
but yeah this entire excerpt altogether was done to highlight the conflicting love and hate that comes during/after abusive relationships like that.
#mmmmmm putting this in the tags bc i am a COWARD!!!!!!#but most of this scene i was thinking about my own experience with relationships like that#i actually ended up telling my therapist about this fic and talking to her a lot about it#because writing it brought a certain level of emotional catharsis#ive almost ENTIRELY processed all of my own shit in terms of everything that happened and im largely passed it#past it* oops#but i see a lot of what happened with me personally in what happened with the egg and the eggpire#so writing this was like. a way to express that?#with obviously the first chapter focusing a lot on those darker thoughts and the isolation and the spiral#and the second focusing SO heavily on the healing because thats the aspect thats the most important to me#the second chapter was NOT based on my own experience emotionally but it was so fucking enjoyable to just. idk.#write people who'd gone through the same shit experiencing different consequences and struggling with different aspects#all coming together to help each other and themselves in the aftermath#the ONLY thing i know about the second chapter is that someone liked my skeppy headcanon i have no idea if it was good or not#idk how my characterization was if it was alright or garbage or swapped between the two#and that makes me really nervous but at the same time#it was so enjoyable to write that healing process that even when i DO get nervous about it i cant entirely bring myself to care#i sort of automatically seek external validation but at the end of the day i wrote this fic entirely for myself#and ill always be really happy with that fact#I GOT SO OFF TOPIC but yeah so a lot of those extreme thoughts were like#me drawing from my own experience and my own more extreme and vicious thoughts. and my own extreme and more vicious love#things that are very thankfully years past me now but that i still remember pretty clearly
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katya-goncharov · 1 year
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i might finally make that fandom survey i've literally been planning for a year and a half soon...
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alfheimr · 1 month
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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes
i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:
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this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.
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the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.
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this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.
i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.
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for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.
note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!
note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!
with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?
the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.
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so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.
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these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!
you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.
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this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.
let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.
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gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:
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some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.
for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.
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here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.
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i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?
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i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.
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yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.
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i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.
i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.
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the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.
typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!
this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.
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let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.
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just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?
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btsvt-bar · 2 months
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Fuckboy!Wonwoo going for shy!reader since he assumes they’re a virgin, just to find out reader is an absolute freak and rides him until he passes out
wonwoo bias wrecked me so much after the follow again concerts that this just came to life on it’s own. i wrote the freshman experience based off of how it is on my country and i loved writing this, so i hope you enjoy it too! ♡
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・
fuckboy!wonwoo who’s your game design course sunbaenim. he contradicts all paradigms about nerds, because he’s hot as fuck.
fuckboy!wonwoo who spots you on the first day of classes. he sees you walking past him in your tiny skirt and "I ♡ games" tshirt and finds you adorable.
fuckboy!wonwoo who fights with other veterans to keep you as his freshman. he loses the argument to Nayeon, the course’s student’s president, and sulks for the rest of the day.
fuckboy!wonwoo who hits on you at the bar that night. everyone’s whispering about the two of you.
since Nayeon’s done her job and warned you before hand about Wonwoo’s reputation, you turn him down nicely because you hate the attention. of course, it only spurs him on.
fuckboy!wonwoo who tried to befriend you as a way of getting into your pants (well, he’s a fuckboy after all!).
a couple months after, once he realizes you’re actually really funny and outgoing when you feel comfortable enough, he finds himself enjoying the time you two spend together.
fuckboy!wonwoo who becomes obsessed with you. he convinces himself it’ll fade away once he fucks you. but then he finds himself getting so fucking jealous when he hears you calling Seungcheol your “oppa”. he knows Cheol has a thing for you — your innocent, virgin like persona is driving every male student wild. so he feels his blood boiling when you touch his hyung’s bicep as you smile sweetly and bat your eyelashes.
fuckboy!wonwoo who gets really annoyed when his friends mock him, claiming he lost his charms and won’t get to fuck you like he would do to any other girl.
"it’s up to Coups Hyung to pop her cherry." Jeonghan holds back a laugh as Wonwoo rolls his eyes.
Like hell we will! he thinks.
fuckboy!wonwoo who tries to sleep with someone else to get off and forget about you. but it doesn’t work and he gets more frustrated than before.
fuckboy!wonwoo who offers to help you with your class project and goes to your shared dorm room on a Saturday night. you open the door and he holds his breath when he sees your super princess peach cropped shirt.
"what? it’s my favorite game" you state, with a pout in your lips, when he stares for too long.
"oh, nothing. it’s a good one." he babbles, averting his eyes from your chest. your shirt was probably old, since he could see the outline of your nipples through the white fabric. he swallows nervously, trying to shake the image of your pebbled nipples off of his head.
fuckboy!wonwoo who gets distracted by your short sleeping shorts, since they do the bare minimum to cover you up.
"Nonu, are you listening?" you complain as you shake him. his eyes are out of focus when he meets your gaze. "earth to Nonu! what are you thinking about?"
fuckboy!wonwoo who bites his lower lip and stares at you.
"i’m thinking about you, cutie." he flirts. usually, you would blush and avert your eyes. so it’s a shocker for him when your Bambi eyes transform into a siren gaze.
“what about me?" you whisper, inching closer to his face. "is it about the ways you’d like to fuck me?" that’s all it takes for Wonwoo to take off his glasses and crash his lips into yours.
fuckboy!wonwoo who gets really excited and surprised when he finds out you’re not a virgin. in fact, you’re a total freak in bed. he feels a bit fooled since you got everyone believing you’re a pure angel, but he isn’t about to complain.
not when you’re jumping up and down on his dick with your pretty boobs on full display for him.
fuckboy!wonwoo who fucks up into you with all his might, thinking that he could die happy buried in your heat like that.
you’re riding him so good, your hips grinding against his and your hands clawing at his chest. your lips are red and swollen from kissing, your head’s thrown back in pleasure. you let out quiet ah-ah-ahs that enter Wonwoo’s ears and spin down his body directly to his dick.
fuckboy!wonwoo who nearly blows his load when you ask him to choke you.
his big hand presses on your throat with minimum force, but you demand more pressure and he complies.
fuckboy!wonwoo who circles your clit and sucks your nipples to help you cum. and when you do, he follows shortly after, emptying three months worth of blue balls in the condom and nearly passes out.
fuckboy!wonwoo who cuddles you and realizes he’s been tricked.
"i’m not complaining, but i thought you were a virgin."
you laugh, turning around to face him. "and the resident fuckboy gets played." pride bubbles in your chest. Wonwoo smiles at you, his brown eyes still a bit glazed over from his high.
"i liked being played" he admits with a shy smile.
fuckboy!wonwoo who refuses to go back to his own room. thank goodness your roommate is not coming back for the night.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・
© btsvt-bar, 2024
read next: soft dom!joshua
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sugurism · 2 months
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FLAGS EVERYWHERE. ୨ৎ are jjk men green, beige or red flags?ㅤheadcanons
featuring ♰ㅤmultiple. (choso, higuruma, megumi, nanami, gojo, geto, sukuna, toge, toji, yuji, yuta)
warning(s)! ♰ㅤNO PRONOUNS AND ANATOMY FOR READER. SFW (?) — toxic behavior ! cheating ! breaking-up mentions ! very much made based on personal opinions + i tried to write the characters off as canon as possible, but my favoritism will probably show ! sukuna is a warning of his own tbh ! violence + blood + death (mentions) ! cannibalism (mentions) ! angst (mostly) ! some are implied yandere ! not really dark content but i will tag as so just to be sure, some of them are dc vibes ! mentions about marriage + having kids (biologically and not) !
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୨୧ CHOSO KAMO — beige flag.
not the reddest flag of the list. although, still has some fails. . .
this may come as a surprise to many, but choso is not a green flag. he’s perfectly in the middle, i think. not nearly as bad as others on the list, but his track record isn't perfect, either.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? he's family-centered.
choso is, as is well known, a man completely focused on his family. the joy of his brothers and relatives is his priority, and he will always be more focused on others than on himself (this could also be a red flag, he is quite selfless). he carries the burden and honor of being a big brother. of course because of his love for you, you are as much a part of the family as his siblings are.
however, if you don’t get along with his siblings for any reason, it’s very likely that the relationship won't be able to continue. it would be troublesome if you can’t take his true nature ── as a half-curse ── well, too. it would really upset him, because love is about acceptance and care.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
the answer is: no, but it is preferable that you are. being a sorcerer, you would have a much easier time understanding the abnormal aspects of his life (him and his family). if you’re not a sorcerer, it makes things a little chaotic. choso wouldn't want to lie to you about who he really is, his origins, and obviously, he would be prevented from introducing his (monstrous) brothers to you in that circumstance.
this would make him reflect for a long time, which ends either with a breakup, or with him showing you everything about jujutsu. living under a false identity and with a life built on lies is not how he wants the relationship to be.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
absolutely not. choso is aware of how heartbroken you would feel if he ever did that — besides, it's not like he feels desire or romantic love for anyone else. he has no reasons to cheat on you, and he never will have.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
choso has good intentions, but romantic love is a new and unknown field for him. this makes him inexperienced and often irrational towards romance. the information about relationships is too fresh and unprocessed for him, and it's all from the dead brain of the vessel he inhabits. he is not completely unaware about all of it, but his lack of experience shows.
he is very hasty and believes that the status of “boyfriend” is not bad, just that “husband” would be much better. if you don’t see a future, why would you be with him? he doesn’t understand when you correct him you are just dating and not married (you've been together for barely two months).
choso is not the type to let fights happen without reason, and he tries hard to make things work out, but he’s constantly overprotective and his affection can quickly become suffocating.
choso loves family. he wishes to expand it someday. and who would be better to help him besides you, his true love? besides taking care of his brothers, he would like to be a father himself one day (at least, a better one than his own father was), and there is this underexpectation — not exactly spoken out loud until he is confronted about it. choso wouldn't want to pressure you, and he would understand your choices and respect your decisions perfectly if you don’t want to have children, however, he gets a little sad over it nonetheless and always wonders if you would change your mind if he asked more nicely.
of course, we can’t forget the amount of people he killed (in and out of shibuya). this is a factor that is rarely talked about and choso doesn’t even think about it anymore, honestly. if you can ignore that, good! if not? well. . .
୨୧ HIROMI HIGURUMA — green / beige flag.
objection! he did nothing wrong (except for, at least, 22 murders, i guess).
BIGGEST RED FLAG? married to his work.
this is a completely personal view, but it’s hard to date someone so busy and married to their work. pre-culling game, the grueling overtime and mountains of paperwork would constantly keep him away from you ── from dates, from nights together, from romantic trips. furthermore, his ideal of justice is always dangerously close to failure in practically every situation hiromi faces, and this is a source of stress for him. he wouldn’t take it out on you, there’s no reason, but of course. it’s difficult to balance so many hours of work and such an important goal with personal relationships.
it’s not that he forgets commemorative dates, he merely doesn’t have time to celebrate them themselves. when he can’t be there for whatever the occasion is, he’ll send some expensive gift and an apology card, or call you and start a conversation for eight minutes to explain why he forgot your second anniversary. it’s common for him to come home, and you’re already asleep. you simply don’t have time.
in the culling game situation, it’s not so much work that keeps you apart, but training, focus and purpose. he focuses more on your protection and his than on romanticism, which can end up creating emotional barriers that are very difficult to break ── on both sides. hiromi is accidentally cold quite often. and that’s if you ignore the number of people he had to kill.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
honestly: yes and no. is a simple question with a difficult answer. hiromi prefers someone who can understand him completely: his feelings, his work, what he wants the justice system to become, and his vision of justice. so when he finally receives this new power that not only matches all of this but can make it possible, it’s very complicated to have a partner who doesn’t understand this new part of your life. he’s another person who wouldn’t lie to you about his nature. he swore to tell the truth, always the truth, and only the truth.
if you are a sorcerer, things get easier and harder. a relationship with hiromi has certain nuances, such as his constant concern for your safety, regardless of what you are (sorcerer or not). he believes in your own strength, but would like to stick around just to make sure you’re going to be okay. his change between coldness and sudden closeness can make feelings very raw and difficult to deal with.
if you’re not a sorcerer, his protection gets even worse. he’s not suffocating because he takes care not to be, but he would genuinely go crazy if something happened to you because he was careless. anyone who touches you won’t come out alive and brag about it. he just wants you to be okay.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
no. hiromi is loyal to all his oaths, whether they are about protecting justice or being by your side even in sickness and in health.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
he is very open and honest. it might be bad in certain situations, but it’s great for the bigger picture. he doesn’t hide his opinions from you and is willing to talk about almost any topic peacefully. fights with him are actually quite rare, because hiromi thinks it’s fair to listen to his side, then speak his own, and think together to see if you can resolve this peacefully. depending on the angle, this is another problem, in a way he tends to rationalize feelings very often.
despite all the negatives, he has a surprisingly good memory. he doesn’t forget special occasions, he simply didn’t have time to be there in person (which is still a con). but he remembers everything else about you. hiromi is the type to look at you with a slight smile on his face, looking like his words are going in one ear and out the other. but when you stop talking, he gets confused. “why did you stop? i want to know what happens next.”
୨୧ MEGUMI FUSHIGURO — green / beige flag.
honestly, a good option. if you’re able to catch up.
megumi is a better boyfriend than people would think, honestly. the issue, with him, is more about himself and his view of himself than you ──, but it still affects the relationship and your experiences together as a couple.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? no respect for his own safety.
as a jujutsu sorcerer, it’s perfectly common for megumi to get into situations that risk his neck. it’s as much a part of the job as anything else. the problem is his willingness to put himself in danger for the sake of a greater good, or greater goal that he needs / wants to achieve. he is bold and reckless, and can be very harmful to both him and you.
other than that, he’ not necessarily a very bad boyfriend. megumi doesn’t have as many communication problems as expected, although he can put up fights — especially on this specific subject, trying to justify his lack of care with “doing what was necessary”.
dying to win is not an idea he is opposed to, until someone (like you or gojo) puts some sense into him.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
not really. megumi would love you regardless of your ability and strength ── and would find qualities to admire anyway. he doesn’t think you’re incapable of protecting yourself, and a part of him is tempted not to introduce you to jujutsu if you’re not a sorcerer. it would be a fully, normal thing in his life, but he wouldn’t want to lie to you in any way.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
definitely not. megumi has way too much respect, admiration, and above all, love for you to do something atrocious like that.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
megumi is reckless, but at the same time he listens to what you say and can slowly learn to take care of himself in a more efficient way through your words and worry. he doesn’t forget precedents or dates, and he takes good care of anything you’ve given him. his shikigami love you, sincerely, so he would be happy if you could see them and interact with them ── because they are a reflection of their owner and end up showing all the affection he feels for you and doesn’t have the courage to show it.
he’s not cold or distant, just more reserved, but he could be more vocal about his feelings instead of dropping hints and hoping you understand what he means. everything about megumi is soft, even when it shouldn't be.
his inclination is indoor dates and having alone time with you that doesn’t involve his friends in any way. he has nothing against any of them ── they are dear people to both him and you, megumi is just inclined towards privacy and doesn’t want your time together to be interrupted. especially if you are a busy person who doesn’t have much opportunity to spend time with him.
despite being quiet, he is a little jealous often. not on a controlling level or anything like that, but he could easily end up making greater gestures to reinforce his dominance over your heart ── a treasure more precious than any cursed jewel. grabbing your waist gently and pulling you closer when he notices someone staring is not an uncommon occurrence.
୨୧ KENTO NANAMI — green flag.
i have nothing to say besides: you’re lucky — really. this man is a blessing.
nanami is honestly the ideal kind of guy no matter what life you want to lead. He honestly tries to balance his personal life with the work he so fervently hates, and he understands and helps you doing the same.
BIGGEST RED FLAG — emotional walls (eventually lets them down).
one of the few things that are not respectable about this man is that he really takes a long time before showing himself vulnerable in any way, shape, or form. nanami's experience makes him a very cold and harsh guy on the outside, but with well-defined morals and a heart of gold. he's also inclined towards privacy, just like megumi, and would prefer if you didn't get too involved in his circle of friends (more because of gojo than anything else, really).
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
no. not really. nanami appreciates the normality and calmness that can come from a life with you. he genuinely doesn't care if you're a sorcerer or if you're the head of the marketing department.
impressively, he's not as protective as others on the list. of course, he worries about your safety, but he doesn't doubt his own ability to be there to protect you if needed.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
no, never. nanami is very adamant and loyal to you in all situations — he can't be tempted by someone else, because all he desires is you.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
as already mentioned, nanami prefers that you not get involved in his social circle, especially if you are a non-sorcerer. this is due to the fact that his senpai is clueless and could often create very uncomfortable situations. furthermore, he is afraid that you will be interested in more of his acquaintances and end up discovering/getting more involved with jujutsu.
he's very supportive of pretty much every decision you make ── as long as it doesn't hurt you and doesn't seem rushed without thought. he makes a point of looking for you for conversations that he considers necessary and punctuating whatever is needed.
nanami is very analytical too. if the two of you set a goal, agree on its repercussions and after a long time, decide on it ── like, for example, having a family ── he works hard to make it happen. it is not uncommon for him to agree to work overtime to receive a salary bonus to prepare a surprise for you, or support you better. he doesn't doubt your independence in the slightest, but he would like to constantly give you gifts as thanks for your divine presence in his life.
kento is very kind and basically the height of chivalry. for those who say that romanticism is dead, it's because they've never seen your boyfriend tying your shoelaces, carrying you on his lap, taking you to romantic dinners and making dinner for the two of you.
୨୧ SATORU GOJO — beige flag.
strongest sorcerer, a charming man, and good at flirting. although, an actual relationship? oh, boy. . .
satoru isn't necessarily a bad boyfriend per se. he's far from the worst option on the list, but he genuinely has a lot of problems that would make a relationship fall apart.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? emotionally unavailable.
satoru's personal experience has made him carry the burden of being the strongest sorcerer during his entire life. it's his identity to nearly everyone else — the satoru gojo, and not just satoru. it feels set in stone.
he doesn't have close friends or a support group that he feels he can genuinely trust fully since suguru's betrayal. this rubs off on you and makes him avoid really emotional conversations or directly saying what he's feeling — even when it's necessary. it's almost impossible to make his emotional walls come down, and if they do, he'll probably act a little sour for a while ── a kind of reflex, where he's wary of the idea of being betrayed once again.
being vulnerable is not his strong suit.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
no, but it's preferable that you are. not only because you would understand him and his capabilities much better, but because as a sorcerer you would have your own worryingly long workload, and wouldn't make such a big deal about him almost never being home. at least, he thinks so, but he wouldn't avoid a relationship with you if you weren't a sorcerer.
also, he gets worried about you constantly — he has lots of enemies that could try to hurt you to get to him. if you're a sorcerer, at least he can believe more easily that you can defend yourself.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
personally, i don't think he would. as already mentioned, gojo's inability to be with just one woman is, in my view, his inability to be vulnerable and honest.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
personally, i interpret “satoru is the type of man who cannot be faithful to a woman” precisely because of the emotional problem. he can't be vulnerable and that only gets the relationship to a certain point before it stops working completely. it's very, very difficult to get past the defenses he's created for himself, and there's always the chance he'll get scared and decide to leave.
the gojo clan isn't really a hindrance ── what are they actually going to do, argue with their only relevant member? ── but they can be quite uncomfortable. the person with the strongest sorcerer needs, in their view, to be “proper.” this includes: being a sorcerer and having many strong children for a new generation.
if you do not meet these requirements for any reason (not wanting or not being able to have children), the clan is unfriendly towards you. this doesn't stop the relationship in any way, or it doesn't stop you and satoru from getting married one day, however, it is quite awkward.
regardless of whether you are a sorcerer or not, there is a gulf of difference between satoru's lifestyle and yours. while he doesn't have difficulties with money or power ── and maybe you do ── this means he can't quite understand what it's like to be in your shoes. he's not unfriendly, but his arrogant and defensive nature can really lead to a silly fight or two that escalates depending on the situation.
୨୧ SUGURU GETO — red flag.
i love suguru, but he’s undeniably not an ideal partner.
i don't think there's much doubt about whether geto would be a red flag. he is. even if you consider his nature in the relationship more than his personality itself, it's still the case.
BIGGEST RED FLAG (besides the genocide nature)? — manipulative.
as a very skilled cult leader and orator, suguru has an indescribable charisma and a well-directed charm ── be it to convert those he calls monkeys or to enlist sorcerers to his cause. however, this charm can also be used on you and your relationship.
intentionally or not, he ends up trying to convince you of the same things he does. either his own distorted belief ── or his apologies become attempts at manipulation. he's not beyond gaslighting you, either. he learns what type of action provokes a specific reaction from you and ends up acting very artificially sometimes.
the benevolent cult leader persona he uses on non-sorcerers mixes with the real suguru geto, and that's definitely something scary to have in a relationship.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
yes. there's just no other way. sorry, it's geto.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
not really. capturing geto's attention isn't really an easy thing, and maintaining your position as his partner is just as hard a task. i don't see him having eyes for anyone else, because i feel that if you were in a relationship, he would need to have some kind of attachment to you and wouldn't want to hurt you on purpose.
despite this, in those ridiculously impossible situations — if he could achieve the world he wants by sleeping with someone else, would he do it? then the answer is yes. but i don't know if that counts.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
he is more married to his cause than he would ever be to you. he will not change for you, nor he will abandon his dream. that's a thought you can't let go of your mind when you're with him. no matter your own actions and beliefs, the new world must be created using any and all means necessary. no price is too high, no one is too innocent to be sacrificed.
being around someone like that would not only be exhausting but terrifying. there is always the uncertainty of what he would do if you left him. on the one hand, suguru doesn't want to hurt you. on the other hand, as his partner, you would know too many valuable things to just leave. he would never let you go like that.
it's very important not to forget that suguru definitely suffers from delusions of grandeur and high expectations of himself and everything around him. whether it's about the new world, his role in it, or about you. he faces some frustration when this expectations are not met, but he does his best not to take it out on you.
he might even "forgive" the fact that you don't actively fight to kill non-sorcerers, like he does, but he wouldn't want you to interact with them other than when it's absolutely necessary. furthermore, suguru would require absolute hygiene. don't touch him if you've been too close to a non-sorcerer. in cases where you have shaken someone's hand or hugged someone, he will refuse to talk to you until you wash your hands or take a shower.
and if you see non-sorcerers as people, as lives who matter, it will be absolutely worse. it would certainly be a very frequent topic of discussion between the two of you, so opposing views would make the relationship unsustainable. but staying silently by his side makes you accomplice — the blood of all these people will be on your hands, because you knew.
you knew and you did nothing to stop him, nonetheless.
୨୧ SUKUNA RYOMEN — red flag.
do i have to say anything? nevermind. i’ll pray for your soul instead. lord have mercy on you — because sukuna won’t.
if you were so unfortunate as to capture the king of curses' attention in this way, i can only be so sorry.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? he's sukuna.
it's hard to know where to start when naming his worst red flag. would it be his violent nature? his overall behavior? the sadistic desire for death and the total lack of morals? sukuna knows nothing but power, and has no respect for anything other than himself or equivalent strength. it makes your relationship with him less of a romantic thing — and more like an owner-pet relationship.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
i'm inclined to say yes, because it's difficult to see where sukuna would be interested in a non-sorcerer. regardless, i guess it doesn't really matter as long as you fit his twisted and bizarre criteria, somehow.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
no, but not for the reasons you think. love is an unknown and irrelevant concept to him, so what really stops him from cheating on you is not moral. it's desire, or rather, the lack of it. no one is as interesting as you in that sense.
he wouldn't cheat on you simply because there is no one else he wants like that. but not in a romantic sense, like nanami. it's like someone who is so engrossed in one thing in particular that in comparison, everything is gray and rotten.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
there's very little i can describe without being extremely dark compared to other reviews. sukuna would play with you until he got tired, and when he did, he would send you to the pot and enjoy a nice dinner.
i think the closest thing that can be called showing affection from him is when he asks uraume to be extra careful with the meat this time. he had, somehow, a strange feeling for you that he didn't understand. even tired, he wouldn't forget a human who fascinated him so deeply. furthermore, it would be agonizing for other sorcerers and humans. sukuna would not be actively looking for replacements, but sincerely. if he was, he would be disappointed. sometimes he turns to bark a mean comment, just to not see you there, and murmur oh, right, knowing very well he is the reason.
despite this, he may feel some kind of affection for you. sort of. the kind of pity you would feel for a beggar on the street, or the feeling you have for a pet, in some way. he would never see you as an equal. an interesting creature, but beneath him, as it is your place.
none of this would ever stop him from killing you if you became a nuisance, though.
୨୧ TOGE INUMAKI — green flag.
few words, but a lot of action and gentleness.
after a horror show committed by our favorite cannibal, a good look at our favorite ingredient talker should cool us down nicely. toge is actually the type to act instead of talk, because, well. . . salmon?
BIGGEST RED FLAG? bad communication.
even if you are a great sign language interpreter, there will be communication problems in your relationship. sometimes you may not understand what he is saying, or the other way around.
this is not a fatal defect, but it certainly exists, and needs to be addressed accordingly. furthermore, it is difficult to have serious conversations or argue. it's very annoying not being able to have a serious dialogue without hearing an onigiri ingredient in response. but it becomes a bit habitual for you and it doesn't make that much of a difference — it's the way he needs to communicate and you understand. toge understands how difficult it can be to communicate with him and does his best to help the process.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
i'm tempted to say absolutely not, but if you're not a sorcerer there's no chance of you having a relationship without you at least knowing about jujutsu. in any case, you will be inserted into this world and this context, but honestly it doesn't matter to him. as long as it is you.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
no, not at all. man can barely speak to his friends, how could he even chat with someone else and cheat behind your back? despite all the jokes, it's not really toge's thing.
sure, he can't directly tell someone else he's rejecting them — again, communication —, but he just needs to show his ring and they'll leave him alone. usually. he does not entertain flirtation from anyone who's not you, though.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
loving toge is as calming an experience as it is chaotic. he wants to do everything that “more normal people” would do too. for example, going on dates in big, crowded places — even if a part of him screams internally when not being able to talk to you like these people do. and honestly, even when he merely wishes for the simple, he just wants you to be happy and enjoy. your relationship is something very important to him, and there would certainly be a doubt if he can be a sorcerer and be your boyfriend at the same time. inumaki's lifestyle is not really something anyone wishes for their significant other, after all, but he was willing to try.
despite not being able to speak, he always has a cell phone and a notepad at hand. it's common for you to find small notes and loving notes, or his messages. love messages, messages asking how your day was, messages telling you that you forgot your lunch — giving him the perfect opportunity to just slip away and personally hand it over to you. he turns down the collar of his coat to return your smile when doing so.
toge also has a habit of sending you pictures like cute cats and a small love poem. he never wants you to feel appreciated — and everytime his friends tease him for smiling like a fool to the phone, he murmurs an affectionate “okaka”.
୨୧ TOJI FUSHIGURO — beige / red flag.
already experienced with love, a hurt heart can literally end everything.
the experience of being in a relationship with toji can be the happiest thing in your life or the most toxic addiction possible. it really depends on a single factor: is he able to love you truly, even after mamaguro? he'll be the only character in this list with two “separated” versions.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? emotionally distant / inconsiderate.
in a world where he can love you just like he loved megumi's mother, toji has a lot of emotional baggage that is difficult to deal with. his job is dangerous, he had an extensive past with another woman and an abandoned son, it's a lot for both him and you. it's very difficult to get close to him at first, but he slowly opens up and is willing to change and improve his life, getting a new start with you. one he won't lose.
in a world where he can't love you, he just doesn't care. you're just another partner he hooks up with occasionally, and he makes that clear. he's not interested in anything serious, not marriage, not anything. you are not the love of his life and you will not be. and if you feel bad about these words? well. you're out of luck.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
definitely not. he couldn't care less in any case.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
again, that depends. if he loves you truly, hell no. anyone who comes to flirt with him while he is in a relationship with you will be ignored and likely humiliated if he persists. if you managed to capture this man's heart, congratulations, he's all yours.
if he doesn't love you — yeah. pretty much. then it's more about if he wants someone else than your feelings.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
there's not much to say about toji's part and his role in a relationship, except that it won't be easy in any case. the past is the ghost that haunts every man, conscious or not. and his is full of blood, guts, tears and lost love. being willing to deal with this is not only necessary but something he won't forget. it's very difficult to win his loyalty permanently, but if you do, you simply have to worry about it anymore.
if he does not love you, it's very likely that he will eventually leave you for someone richer. money is mainly what would keep him in a relationship — sex is just a bonus. when some of those ends up being too difficult to get (or when these things are missing), his lack of emotional attachment makes him easily turn around and leave, to never returning again.
୨୧ YUJI ITADORI — green flag.
a very good option! the problem is that it is not long-lasting.
yuji is a sweetheart, really. definitely not a bad choice (one of the best ones in this list!). although, he has a very unfortunate destiny in front of him.
BIGGEST RED FLAG? he's way too selfless.
being selfless is a great quality, but in cases like yuji's, things go overboard very easily. he doesn't have as much respect or admiration for himself as he does for other people, and this can definitely be very damaging to his mental health and, consequently, your relationship.
he takes risks for his friends and strangers, he swallows cursed objects, he does his best to save lives — and he blames himself under fail, despite it not being his fault. he's the kind of man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and doesn't want you to exhaust yourself trying to share it with him.
DO YOU HAVE TO BE A SORCERER?
not really, but if you're not, the relationship ends very quickly and suddenly. yuji wouldn't allow himself to tell you about jujutsu, being the vessel of sukuna, and anything that puts you under risk. this includes staying close to him.
he wouldn't break up with you just because you're not a sorcerer, he just values your safety too much and is afraid of what could happen. if you are one, he feels slightly relieved you won't separate, but still tense. you can still die.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
he would never. never, ever. you're his love and he could never betray your trust like that. in one occasion, he said he wouldn't cheat on you even if it were with jennifer lawrence.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
the most important point to make is that yuji will undeniably die. he would be executed, and he thinks he should be, and that was the order given since he made a mistake that day. one day, and his life changed forever. having a relationship with you is one of the few lasting joys in his life, but when it ends for whatever reason, it will hurt more. maybe he'll try to break up with you sooner and move away so you don't feel so upset about losing him.
yuji is also the guy who was thrown into the context of the jujutsu world in a very unfortunate situation — he can be very slow to understand some things and, if you are a sorcerer, fearful. he understands that many sorcerers have important reputations to maintain. maybe you have too. in that case, wouldn't it be better not to have a relationship with sukuna's vessel in your past? what if the higher-ups antagonize you for that, and your career can't succeed? he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable about the topic, and he often doesn't say what he's feeling directly. yuji doesn't lie, but he omits.
he is very anxious despite his constant positive attitude. sukuna likes to mess with yuji's mental health, and he knows how much you mean to him. yuji would purposely turn away from you very often, terrified that somehow, the king of curses would kill you simply to laugh at his expense. he can't lose you — the ironic thing is that maybe he would lose, distancing himself so much.
୨୧ YUTA OKKOTSU — green / beige flag.
not bad, but. . . very questionable, nonetheless.
last, but not least! the implicitly yandere yuta okkotsu — not by far the worst option we have out of all of them here, but. he has almost unforgivable habits.
BIGGEST RED FLAG — rika (?)
everyone agrees that seeing your boyfriend's first love as a bloody, inhuman ghost is a pretty uncomfortable experience. in your case, it is an uncomfortable and constant experience, happening practically on a daily basis. although rika is much more controlled nowadays, and she is more a manifestation of technique than a soul in itself — it's not the kind of thing that anyone just finds normal. even sorcerers.
unfortunately, your boyfriend's late first love is kind of always there anyway. he still wears the ring he needs to connect with her, even if he gave you a different one. it's strange and sometimes it gives the impression that either you are a replacement, or that you will never reach that level of affection. you're the other woman in your own relationship.
DO YOU NEED TO BE A SORCERER?
again, no. but it's preferable that you are. all the difficult issues of being a sorcerer would be better understood if you were one yourself. it would also avoid him lying to you / hiding jujutsu from you. furthermore, yuta is a paranoid mess.
he always imagines that the second he's not around, you're going to get hurt. he cannot stand even the weakest curses near you, crushing them like repulsive insects.
WOULD HE CHEAT ON YOU?
no, unless you consider rika and his “relationship” with her.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS.
honestly, the time you have with yuta always seems to be under the influence of an hourglass, limited. ready to end at any second, where his work will be a constant interruption. he tries and tries very hard not to let this undermine his relationship, but it can become an occasional problem. he had to spend long periods of time in other countries, and it hurts for him to be so far away.
yuta is strangely clingy. you can't expect anything less. he's the kind of boyfriend who can easily become overprotective in a way that's not cute. always guiding you to one side on the sidewalk, one hand around your waist, staring deathly at any man who gets too close. it doesn't matter if it's his friend or a mutual friend of yours, there is a certain distance that everyone must respect when it comes to you. except him.
besides being like a cat (very skittish with some people, invades your personal space very frequently), yuta is very demanding in some aspects. he really hates it if someone flirts with you, even though he wouldn't take that frustration out on you. after all, it's not your fault and it would be unfair. but he's very adamant about not having any secrets or personal things he doesn't know about. secrets kill people, and he can't bear to lose you.
despite all the lessons he learned with rika, sometimes you end up wondering if he will curse you too, if you end up dying. you ask him about it. if he would. yuta doesn't answer.
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ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES. thank you for reading! <3
1K notes · View notes
pathologicalreid · 1 month
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Spencer x fem!reader fic based on “Work Song” by Hozier?? Whatever storyline or category you want!!
work song | S.R.
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: general cm violence, near death experience, blood, gunshot wound, hospitals. word count: 1.77k a/n: hozier song request makes my brain go brr. i hope the people of tumblr enjoy this bc i most definitely enjoyed writing it.
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boys, when my baby found me
Your hair whipped your face as you spun around through the labyrinth of a warehouse that your team had found themselves in. It seemed like an impossible task, trying to navigate this space, but you had already cleared over half of the space.
A small noise, like a shoe squeaking, caught your attention, causing your ears to rise like an animal hunting for prey. Turning a corner, you had your flashlight and firearm raised, coming face to face with Morgan. The both of you relaxed ever so slightly, no longer ready to pounce.
Ricocheting throughout the warehouse, you heard a deafening gunshot. The sound bounced off of the metal walls of the building, making it almost impossible for you to determine where the sound originated from. Meeting Morgan’s eyes, he nodded his head to the left, signaling for you to go that way while he went right.
You affirmed his tactics, turning slowly and making your way to the left. The rusted building was now so eerily quiet that goosebumps were sprouting across your body, even under your bureau jacket.
Continuing your way down the narrow passageway, you saw movement inside of a room. Sliding your back along the wall, you peeked into the room, seeing two bodies on the ground. You whispered almost imperceptibly into your radio, calling for medical. One of them was the local officer that the BAU had been working the case with.
The other one was Spencer.
You pivoted so that you were entirely in the doorway, facing the UnSub, he raised his gun at you, but you were already pulling the trigger, hitting him square in the forehead. Breathing heavily, you lowered your firearm before scrambling over to Spencer.
I didn’t care much how long I lived, but I swear I thought I dreamed her
In your ear, you could hear Morgan shouting, “Y/N, Reid, sound off, dammit!”
Something needed to happen. You needed to do something, but you had such severe tunnel vision that the only thing you could think about was Spencer.
He was gasping for air on the metal ground of the warehouse, lying in a pool of his own blood. You observed in horror as the red puddle spread with each passing moment.
Launching into action, you tugged your jacket off, stuffing the fabric onto Spencer’s side in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. Even Kevlar vests had an Achilles heel, and the UnSub had managed to strike him precisely where there was a gap in the material. All the while, you were muttering the words, “Stay awake.” Just those two words, over and over again, like a prayer.
You hummed, using one hand to apply pressure to his wound and lifting the other so that you could smooth his hair back. His skin was alarmingly clammy, and you knew that, even with your attempts, he was losing too much blood. “Y/N,” he muttered, sounding like he was using all of his strength to say your name.
Gently, you hushed him, “It’s okay, Spence. Don’t talk, you’re gonna be just fine,” you insisted as his blood soaked through the knees of your jeans. You weren’t sure who you were trying to console at that moment.
“It makes sense-“ he said, being cut off by a cough, sending blood spurting out of his mouth. If his lung was collapsing, there was nothing you’d be able to do. You tried to shush him again, but he had more to say – he almost always did. “That I’d see you while I’m dying.”
Choking on tears, you leaned your face onto your shoulder so that you could wipe them away without moving your hands. “I’m here, I’m really here,” you urged, he wasn’t hallucinating, and he wasn’t dying. Not on your watch. “It’s me, Spence. I’m right here,” you told him carefully.
He opened his mouth again to speak, and you wanted to tell him to save his strength. You also didn’t want to deprive him of his words. “You…” his voice trailed off as he searched for the words, “You’ve always been my favorite dream.”
Sniffling, you shake your head, “I’m not a dream, I’m right here.” You told him, watching carefully as his eyelids grew seemingly heavier, “baby, open your eyes.”
in the low lamplight I was free
His skin was pallid. Even in the dim, orange light of the warehouse, you could see a sickly sheen forming on his skin. His body temperature was dropping, and it was all you could do to not cover his body with yours as you tried to keep him warm. “Spencer, please,” you rasped, urging him to open his eyes.
Your only solace was that his chest was still rising and falling. His breathing was rickety, but he was still breathing, and that had to count for something. “Spencer,” you cried, watching as blood sept through your jacket, flooding between your fingers as you tried to keep him in one piece.
“Love, open your eyes,” you begged, your eyes flooding with tears until everything was just a blur of red.
His heart was beating, you could feel it beneath your hands. A weak, unsteady beat under your trembling hands. “Baby, please, oh my god,” you pleaded, verging toward incoherent babbling.
You were second-guessing if he was still breathing. If his heart was still beating. With that realization, you screamed.
when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth
At first, you were just screaming, letting the vibrations of your vocal cords portray your emotions, and then you screamed for your team. You had never felt more alone, kneeling in a puddle of Spencer’s blood, and no one was coming to help you.
This couldn’t be how it ended. You refused to acknowledge it, even as you felt the life leave his body.
Leaning your head to the side, you spoke into your radio, “I need medical. I’m in the upper west wing of the building. The suspect is dead, I have an officer and an agent down.” Tears continued to stream down your face.
You heard footsteps behind you as people piled into the room, but you didn’t dare take your eyes off Spencer. Not when there was a chance that it would be the last time you looked at him while you were both still breathing. “Agent,” someone said, but it didn’t register. They kept repeating themselves until two strong arms wrapped around you, dragging you away from Spencer.
Now sat on the floor, you clocked the paramedics that were now frantically working on Spencer, packing his wound, and cutting off the Kevlar vest.
Breathing heavily, you watched out of the corner of your eye as Rossi approached the local officer, checking his pulse. Emily was hovered over the UnSub, collecting his weapon from his corpse.
You were still being firmly held back, trying to pry the tattooed arms of Derek Morgan off of your torso. “Stop, let me get to him. I need to get to him,” you struggled against his grip, but any attempts at freedom were futile. The medics were saying awful things about a weak and thready pulse and pneumothorax.
Clinging to any semblance of hope that you could find, you listened to them talk about Spencer’s pulse, knowing that a pulse meant he was alive.
Your breathing quickened as you looked up at Morgan, Hotch was hovering behind the two of you, “I should’ve called for medical sooner.” Your voice was miserable, you had sat there with your jacket to his side for far too long. He could’ve gotten help from professionals.
“You radioed almost five minutes ago for medical,” Morgan informed you. “The EMTs just couldn’t find you in this damn maze.”
While you had no recollection of calling for help when you first found Spencer, you also knew that Morgan would get no pleasure out of lying to you.
You heard one of the paramedics say there was no pulse, and you didn’t remember anything that followed.
no grave can hold my body down
Crumpled in a ball, you picked at the crusted blood in your fingernails as you focused on the steady beeping of Spencer’s heart monitor.
According to Emily, who had been there when you woke up in the hospital, you had passed out around the time that the medics lost Spencer’s pulse. The doctor said it was just a result of stress. Thanks to some IV fluids and hydroxyzine, you were able to be discharged.
Spencer had been out of surgery for several hours now. The doctors had been careful to use the term “if he wakes up”, while you had made sure to say “when he wakes up.” You were playing the most horrendous waiting game, and there’s nothing worse than playing a game you have no interest in.
You were now donning a pair of black sweatpants and an old Academy t-shirt. Being the only team member permitted to see Spencer while he was still sleeping – girlfriend privileges, as Morgan phrased it – you waited with only the noises of his monitor to keep you company in the ICU.
Nurses came in and out, trying to manage his pain without the use of narcotics, making sure his blood transfusions were helping, and every once in a while, they’d check on you.
At this point, you had been nursing the same cup of ice water for hours, remembering the last thing Spencer had said to you: You’ve always been my favorite dream.
There was something so peculiar about being with someone who read so much, especially when he said such eloquent things while bleeding to death. You sighed, slumping back in the chair, you looked back at Spencer, only to be surprised that he was looking right back at you.
You jumped slightly in the chair, leaning over so that you could look at him, “Hey,” you whispered, maintaining the reverent tones of the Intensive Care Unit. “How do you feel?”
He’d lie to you and tell you he was fine, but you could tell by the way his heart rate increased that it was a lie. His eyebrows furrowed as he clocked the white patient ID bracelet on your wrist and your bloodshot eyes, “You’ve been crying,” he observed.
Despite yourself, you smiled softly, “I thought you were dead.” Your voices were each raspy, yours from screaming and his from being intubated.
Slowly, he unfolded his arm so that his hand was extended to you. Without a second thought, you placed your hand in his. He hummed softly, “And leave you? Never.”
I’ll crawl home to her
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landosjpg · 1 month
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from my pov | ln
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lando norris x fem!reader
word count: ~1.0k
warnings: heavily implied body dysmorphia, disordered eating, insecurities, COMFORT
note: based on this request. despite of the previous warnings and this being more of a comfort blurb, i feel the need to clarify that i am NOT encouraging these behaviors and, as some sensitive topics are discussed, please DO NOT READ if this could be triggering for you or have any kind of negative impact on your mental health. i am also writing this from my own experience with these topics; everyone’s experience is different, so please be respectful.
and last, but obviously not least, if you’re going through something like this (or through anything, really) PLEASE REACH OUT! and if you’re not ready to do so, for whatever reason it might be, reminder that my messages are always open for anyone who needs a little rant or anything i could potentially help with.
and lastly, i don’t know how i feel about this one (yes i’m insecure about everything i post, leave me alone) so please share your thoughts with me as always <3
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it had started only a few weeks ago. summer was around the corner, and inevitably, your social media was filled with girls in tiny crop tops or “summer body” posts.
normally, you wouldn’t pay too much attention to them; you liked your body the way it was.
but this year it was different. the stress of the past few weeks had a bigger impact on you that you ever expected.
the first time you noticed you were trying your summer clothes on. the skirt you loved being a little tighter than the last time you had used it.
it was only a few pounds, no one could really notice. but you could.
you shouldn’t have give it a second thought, but insecurities got the best of you and that very same moment you had decided that you needed to do something about it.
you would just stop snacking in between meals. you had it all under control, and in to time you would feel good about yourself again.
that’s what you told yourself.
but your rule of no snacking soon turned into skipping breakfast quite often and trying to make your meals as light as possible.
but you found yourself checking your body in the mirror more often than not whenever you were left alone.
“i’m back!” you heard your boyfriend announce, followed by the sound of the front door closing.
you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought of lando finding you like that, so you tried to put on your clothes as quickly as possible and wiped your tears from your cheeks before walking out of the bathroom.
you slowly paced to the kitchen where you knew he was, one of his hoodies over your body and your eyes inevitably red and puffy.
when you entered the kitchen, you didn’t even need to say anything for him to knew you where there, even with his back turned to you.
“got us dinner,” he said, taking the food out of a white plastic bag. “your favorite.”
you could feel his smile even when he still hadn’t turned to look at you yet, and it broke your heart a little that you weren’t in the mood for some junk food.
when your eyes met his, his face softened at the sight of you. he knew you were feeling down, but he also knew better than to ask. you would tell him, eventually.
“go choose a movie,” he uttered, voice tender. “i’ll be there in a second.”
you nodded and walked to the living room, sitting on the couch and trying to find a movie that could lift your mood up. just a little bit, at least.
it worked, for the last half of the movie; it eased off your worries for some time, and you found yourself lying on top of your boyfriend, worries about your recent insecurities now gone for a while.
you heard him sigh, his fingers brushing your hair softly as you rested your head on his chest with your eyes closed.
“tell me what’s up,” he whispered. “you’ve barely touched your food.”
“i’m not hungry,” you answered, making him roll his eyes.
“don’t lie to me.”
despite his insistence, he wasn’t mad; his tone was still gentle, and one of his hands slipped under your shirt to softly caress the skin of your waist. the touch that normally would have made you feel instantly better, this time making you tense a little. and he noticed, so he squeezed your side, urging you to speak.
“i just haven’t been feeling good lately,” you mumbled after a few seconds, your voice muffled as you were hiding your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.
“hm?” he only hummed in response, kissing the top of your head and waiting for you to explain further, not really wanting to push you.
“i’ve put on a few pounds these past weeks,” your words were barely audible, voicing your insecurities was never an easy task.
lando heard you, though.
“that’s not a bad thing.”
“but it is,” you cut him off before he could add something else. his hand slowly rubbed your back as he took a deep breath. “you’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”
he chuckled, “don’t be silly.”
lando squeezed you in his arms and planted another soothing kiss to your temple, trying to find the correct words to say.
“i’m not saying that just because i’m your boyfriend,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. he held your chin and made you look at him. “you’re gorgeous, baby. everyone can see that.”
your lips formed a little pout as you heard your boyfriend’s words, which he was quick to kiss away.
“and nothing will change that, ever,” his eyes met your teary ones, the corners of his lips perking up at your vulnerable state.
“but i…”
“nuh huh,” he cut you off immediately with a slight shake of his head. “no ‘buts’, love. you look perfect to me.”
he softly tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as he spoke, his eyes soft and his touch gentle when he then cupped your cheek.
“i wish you could see yourself with my eyes,” his whisper made you sigh as he nuzzled his nose softly against yours, comforting and sweet. “you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen, baby.”
“do you really mean it?” your eyes fluttered closed as you spoke, eyelashes resting on your cheeks.
“of course i do,” you could hear the small smile on his lips as he reassured you once again, the fingers that slowly creeped up the side of your body tickling your skin.
a sigh escaped your lips, your arms circling around your boyfriend’s neck as you pressed your lips against his in silent gratitude.
how lucky of a girl you were, you thought, for him to be just yours.
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fadedin2u · 5 months
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like doves in the wind
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MDNI 18+
summary: ellie’s past girlfriends never offered to eat her out, and when you find that out, you decide to take matters into your own hands (based on the song like doves in the wind by sza)
word count: 1.2k
content: sub!ellie, dom!reader, cunnilingus (e!receiving), fingering (e!receiving)
notes: this is definitely not proofread, but this is my first time writing smut (oh dear lord) so helpful critiques are much appreciated lmao
you look at your girlfriend with a startled look on your face, taken aback.
“none of your past girlfriends or hook ups have wanted to eat you out?” you ask, borderline in disbelief.
ellie’s freckled cheeks are red with embarrassment, and she looks anywhere other than your face.
“i mean… no. but it’s not like i asked them to or anything… but they weren’t… they didn’t offer it up, i guess.” ellie finishes, her teeth tearing at her bottom lip nervously.
you and ellie recently started dating after years of pining, and you’ve been taking it slower than she’s used to, but you’ve still done quite a bit together. you assumed that ellie had done basically everything under the sun when it came to sex due to her experience with women, but you clearly assumed wrong on this one.
you watch ellie, noticing how her normally playful and sometimes brash personality has been dulled, leaving her anxious and unsure of herself.
you lean against her, kissing under her jaw, “hey. it’s okay, it’s not like you’ve done anything wrong, i’m just surprised.”
ellie sighs, rubbing the back of her neck, “it’s kind of fucking weird though, right? i mean… not to sound stupid, but it makes me stressed that there was, like, a reason…”
you kiss her lips this time, carefully as you cup her face. you pull back, making sure her green eyes are making direct eye contact with yours.
“els… no. if there was a reason, it’s probably a fucking stupid one.”
you kiss her jaw again, and then her neck.
“would you let me try?”
ellie’s eyes widen and her breath picks up slightly. her hands instinctively come to brace your hips as you kiss her neck.
“you- you want to?” ellie asks, her voice slightly hoarse.
you nip her neck, laughing slightly, “are you fucking kidding?”
ellie inhales shakily at your response, getting ridiculously turned on, but still a little nervous.
“if you- um, if you want to stop, you can really stop whenever, like anytime, even if i haven’t cum yet-“
you cut ellie off with another kiss to the lips, your hands sliding down her chest and stomach.
“do you want this?” you murmur against her lips between kisses.
ellie nods immediately, “please.”
that’s all you need, pushing ellie’s t-shirt up to expose her perky breasts, your girlfriend never willingly choosing to wear a bra.
you cup and squeeze her tits as you kiss her, and she makes a breathy little noise.
you smile into the kiss at her response and pull back, moving down to kiss one of her nipples before taking it into your mouth and sucking on it.
ellie’s legs jump a little and her hands immediately go to your head as she moans softly, pressing your head into her chest.
“fuck, that fucking tongue of yours…” she rasps, her eyes focused on your lips latched on to her nipple.
you move to do the same to the other side, and ellie’s reactions never get old.
when you start kissing down her stomach, her breath gets heavier, her pupils dilated. you reach the waistband of her jeans, licking a stripe across the skin just above it.
ellie whines a little, “don’t be a fucking tease…”
you look up, raising an eyebrow, “oh, so it’s only fair when you tease me?”
ellie’s cheeks burn, not having a response to that.
you giggle a little and undo her fly, pulling her jeans down.
when you see the obvious wet spot on her boxers, you grin wide, knowing that you’re responsible.
“shut the fuck up.” ellie warns, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and desire.
you just grin cheekily at ellie before you kiss down her inner thigh from her knee. ellie’s breath grows more bated, biting her lip as she watches you.
when you finally get to the wet spot on her boxers, you pull back, looking up through your lashes at ellie, “can i taste you?”
ellie nearly moans at your words, “fucking please.”
you don’t hesitate before pressing your face in between her legs, pressing a broad, firm lick to the wet spot. ellie makes a guttural noise, her hands gripping the duvet beneath her. you can feel her warmth beneath your tongue, and you press your tongue into her for a moment before completely withdrawing.
ellie’s face already looks wrecked when you look up, and at this point, you’re too desperate to tease her anymore.
you pull her boxers down and dive between her legs again, licking a stripe up her soaking wet pussy, collecting her juices on your tongue.
ellie moans embarrassingly loud as her legs instantly close around your head, and you push them back so they’re spread.
“nuh uh. open.” you say sternly, and she immediately nods.
you feel a weird rush from the power trip of having ellie williams under your thumb, obeying you. you don’t hesitate before continuing to eat ellie out, your tongue plunging between her folds as she gasps and whimpers
“fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-“ ellie chants as she holds onto your hair, her hands pushing your face into her.
you allow it, your tongue circling her entrance before diving into it, tasting more of ellie’s pre-cum from the source.
you pull back, your lips and chin wet as you admire her for a second. her legs are trembling slightly, her boxers and jeans gathered around her ankles, and her t-shirt bunched up over her tits.
“god you’re fucking pretty…” you breathe out, licking your lips. ellie almost looks like she’s going to argue that, but she bites her tongue, thankfully.
“your exes are more stupid than i thought to pass up on this-“ you say before pressing your face back into her core and continuing your ministrations, your tongue circling her clit.
“jesus fuck-“ ellie pants, her eyes clenching shut as she clutches at your hair.
her bush tickles your nose slightly as you eat her out, wiggling your head back and forth a little. you slowly bring your hand up to her entrance and slip two fingers in without warning.
ellie moans loudly, her mouth agape as she pants and bucks her hips.
you continue to circle her clit with your tongue as you curl your fingers inside her, starting to pump them in and out.
you keep at this a while until you slip in a third finger, finger fucking her hard as you suck her clit, her juices starting to drip down your hand and forearm.
ellie is a whimpering mess at this point, bucking her pussy into your mouth as you pleasure her.
“shit- i’m gonna fucking cum don’t stop-“ ellie whimpers, her legs trembling more and more.
you don’t stop, curling your fingers up harder as she climaxes, her hips moving wildly as you slurp her up, her eyes rolling back into her head.
you work her through her orgasm, and when she comes down, you slowly withdraw your fingers from her.
“suck these while i clean you up, yeah?” you ask, bringing your fingers to her mouth.
ellie’s eyes widen before wrapping her lips around your fingers, humming as she sucks and licks them.
you go back down to lick up ellie’s cum, her sticky, clear juices melting on your tongue as you lick her thoroughly. her hips jolt and you hear a muffled whimper from above.
when she’s cleaned up, you lift up your head, wiping off your mouth.
“feeling okay?” you ask, climbing back up to cuddle with her.
ellie laughs a little, a goofy, satiated grin on her face as she looks at you incredulously, “dude. are yolu fucking serious?”
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duchessonfire · 2 years
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I have been reading a bit on the OTW elections and the whole Tiffany G thing, but most of all, I've been reading comments from people supporting Tiffany saying that she just wants to clear AO3 from all the CSAM (child sexual abuse material) content and I don't know who needs to hear this but:
If someone comes to a predominantly QUEER space (like AO3) and tells you that censorship is necessary to eradicate CSAM... it's not actually CSAM they want to eradicate...
I've seen this type of discourse about Pride and about queer literature and queer movies and queer communities. It's a tried and true technique of the right and conservative movements.
First, they say there is a DANGER to the community through CSAM and they conflate the actual threat of CSAM in the community (we all know someone who thinks that writing a love story between two characters who are 16 is CSAM...), and make you believe that censorship is the only way to PROTECT THE CHILDREN. And since most people are (rightly) mind-bogled at having to explain that of course they don't support CSAM content, they bow down and accept the censorship for the greater good, without anyone actually trying to have a conversation about what qualifies as CSAM (which needs to, you know, actually involve real children and not fictional characters who are 17 and losing their virginity with their crush in a Mature-rated story about high school football and first love based on the author's own experience of losing their virginity at 17 to their crush in high school).
Then, they tell you that there are other forms of DISTURBING CONTENT, and what they really mean is porn that THEY find disturbing, for ex, (and I kid you not, I have seen comments like that) porn featuring disabled characters, which they consider to encourage the exploitation of vulnerable individuals, or BDSM porn (which supposedly encourages violence and lack of consent), or rough porn, or any kind of porn that isn't two (preferably white and skinny) able-bodied people doing it missionary style while lovingly gazing in each other's eyes. SO TO PROTECT VIEWERS, that needs to be banned as well.
And then, they tell you that even that sanitized version of porn is still porn and that people under 18 or under 21 or under whatever age they consider too young to view anything sexual regardless of the fact that not all countries have the same law about the age of maturity, should be free to surf the site without having to *gasp* filter out properly tagged works. So TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN, every explicit content is censored.
And then finally, when all that is left is a sanitized, white-washed, ableist, puritan type of content featuring General-Audience approved gay works of two nice men or two nice women holding hands and chastely kissing each other on the lips... Well guess what? :) CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO QUEER CONTENT SO WE NEED TO BAN THAT AS WELL, and since we've basically done purge after purge before and there are still a handful of people on the website, well surely they won't mind/care anymore, will they?
It's not just a slippery slope, it's something that has been done time and again, and that is why censorship on AO3 will never, never have a positive outcome.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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maryrouille · 1 month
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Toxic romanticization of studying
In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.
The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.
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1. You shouldn't get up at 5am
First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!
2. You can be a genius without good grades
Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.
3. It's not cool to think you're better than others
We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.
The good thing about romanticizing studying
As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.
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1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be
We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?
Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.
2. Not just cramming, but also discovering
Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.
3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice
Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.
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Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.
*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)
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punksocks · 2 months
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Mars Sign Opinions -Part 1 (18+ Only)
*minors please dni, this is for adults only
*only based on my experiences, just take what resonates
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Aries Mars: Feisty, fiery go getters. Mars is definitely in domicile here with how much energy these people tend to have. They’re the type to do what they say they will. Can easily become someone people tend to look up to because they usually take on leadership roles as well. Can have a tendency to constantly be chasing after the next big challenge. They can also be a bit argumentative (they would rather fight you than hold a grudge usually- depending on their moon sign). They tend to talk a big game, which isn’t uncommon for Aries placements, but they’re the most likely to put their money where their mouth is. Or at least put their all into trying to. In my opinion this mars sign is all about the build up in bed. When they’re into you (and acting from their masc energy) they’re all about the chase. The thrill of winning someone over and showing that they can pull whoever they have their eye on. They’ll want to build up to the s*x itself, to be made to work for it. They’ll show off their foreplay skills and will be chasing that high throughout the act, showing off and winning dominance over their partner. Likely to finish *pretty* fast ngl. Usually, if they’re as skilled as they‘ve hyped themselves up to be, they can recover just as quickly and go multiple rounds. If they take the timing of their endurance as a bruise to their ego (somehow) then they’re outta there lol. Still these natives tend to have a great deal of appeal and they tend to know that and show it off. (Side note: also likely to be mad competitive.)
Taurus Mars: Slow and steady to a fault, these natives define patience in their approach and actions. Their patience tends to pay off in the long run. Others may miss the progress they make in achieving their goals until the natives are near the end of their journeys. They tend to really work well when their environment is comfortable and when they’re allowed to have their little luxuries (good food, clean and cozy home, etc). It tends to take a lot to actually upset them, but when they’re really angry they can be really hard to deal with. I’ve actually noticed that (as a tendency with most earth mars imo) they don’t really talk themselves up that much, they tend to try to charm others through a more Venusian approach (raw charisma and like social affableness) and showing rather than telling. They tend to play it cool and go for the long game overall. To court and charm someone with gifts and compliments. In bed, they’re very sensual. They love indulging in all of the physicality of s*x. The most into touching their partner all over. They tend to last a long time. They do tend to have a set of go to moves. Imo, by far the most passionate cuddlers. They’ll hold on all night if they’re sleeping over.
Gemini Mars: Witty and hard to pin down. I don’t have as much personal experience here. Intelligent types that like to show off with their writing/debate skills. They move pretty quickly and impulsively. They tend to work well when they’re given a lot of breathing room to throw stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. Need to catch up with their own thoughts sometimes, but they’re definitely whip smart types. When they argue with you they tend to debate from an intellectual standpoint-choose your words wisely. Like a lot of air mars (and Venus) signs, it’s hard to tell what makes them stick around. I’d say a combination of wit and a taste for variety would get them to at least go out with you (or at least sleep with you lol, air mars gang). Will try to charm you by knowing more than you, but will find you super charming if you know more than them (an opinion on Gemini placements lol). They will like to switch up positions a lot and to indulge in giving and receiving a lot of oral. They would also go rounds (less from finishing early, and more from how fast they recoup their energy). Oh and they’d love dirty talk as foreplay and in the heat of s*x.
Cancer Mars: Mars is in determent here. The natives are pretty likely to have low energy levels imo. They will get something done once they put their mind to it, but they’ll need a lot of rest/downtime to recharge their energy. I’ve noticed that these natives tend to get very emotionally invested/attached to their projects/goals. I think that’s another reason they tend to need rest a lot, they can get very energetically tied to their own progress, and find themselves drained from their work. They can accomplish a lot, but they tend to have to learn to use this energetic flow differently than exalted/domicile mars signs. Homebodies, tend to work and rest in the same space if they can. Arguing with them can be super intense, they don’t just get angry they feel their anger. That feelings can be overwhelming for all involved. Most likely to cry during a heated argument, and may use this to manipulate whoever they’re arguing with. Because mars is in determent here, I find that if someone is in their masc energy you have to make them feel at ease before they’d approach you. These natives need to feel like a warmth from you before they come onto you (even if they don’t reciprocate that warmth but that’s a post for another day lol). They tend to be shy and deeply afraid of rejection, the more they like you the more this spurns them. I think they can be pretty in their heads about s*x itself (my experience has been with air heavy people with this placement so grain of salt). They tend to go off of their instincts and to be passionate. They may not be as vanilla as they seem, but bc of that fear of rejection they’re usually too shy to ask about exploring anything kinky early on. So the deeper the relationship, the kinkier they can get. They can also be really into b**bs and curves and are pretty likely to have a kink for unprotected s*x and finishing inside their partner (another breeding kink post about cancer placemeeents lol). Also this is the only mars sign that I’ve had tried to explicitly manipulate me into a relationship from a casual connection lol, so that’s something I had to add lmao (it was bold af lol)
Leo Mars: Again not the most experience here. The natives tend to enjoy the positive attention they can gain from reaching their goals. They tend to catch attention when they take action as well. They tend to light up under the spotlight (certain aspects may affect this), and they like to embrace attention from people they’re interested in. They stay fixated and dedicated to pursuing their goals. Tend to be great leaders as well. It can be intense arguing with them as well, they tend to take conflict personally and fight back pretty hard. If you flatter their ego and make them feel special they’re more likely to go all the way with you. They love being praised and adored in bed, they want you to make them feel like they’re the best you’ve ever had. They can work really hard to earn your positive feedback (in fact, sometimes they can be a bit too fiery imo). Praise makes them h*rny and may help them finish harder. They can indulge in role-play and kinks that give them all the attention. If you don’t make them feel like a prize to have in bed, then they may not stick around.
Virgo Mars: Virgo mars are very diligent folks, they work very hard and take their goals seriously. They are very purposeful types as well, they consider all factors and usually aren’t very impulsive. They know how to read all sides of a situation and how analyze it well. They can be kind of standoffish before you get to know them. They like to be of service when they express their affections, so if they’re always making time for you and doing you favors they may like you. They can be some of my least favorite people to argue with (and I hate arguing oml) bc of how critical they get and how they perceive mistakes and right & wrong. As far as s*x goes, they’re usually impressive at least in the beginning. They get labeled as virginal and conservative, but they tend to be into pleasing their lover in order to pleasure themselves. With their mutable nature, they can be as kinky as you’d want them to be. They can be repetitive though, they may fall into a particular routine with intimacy. And with they really give as good as they get, they perform a good mix of passion and like technique. but their almost procedural approach may not be for everyone lol, but I like how they tend see pleasing you as a challenge they want to rise to the occasion for. Also I think they’re the least submissive of all the mutable mars signs tbh, they know how to steer the boat so they won’t let anyone else drive for too long lol.
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americankimchi · 2 months
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Do you have any tips for writing Obi Wan or any meta in mind with his characterizarion?
hmmm sure why not! i'll give a few tips on how i'd write obi-wan. mind you this is how i interpret the character, so ymmv.
i truly do not like it when fics have obi-wan voluntarily leaving the order. like it's so out-of-character for me in my head that the premise of the story + the writing would have to work triple-time to get me to stick around. now if he's been removed from it by an EXTERNAL SOURCE (not the order. i cannot stress this enough: the jedi kicking obi-wan out is so jarring to me i'll leave the fic in an instant) or somehow unable to return to the order for whatever reason, all is well.
not a prodigy, but a genius. obi-wan is an incredibly intelligent person with an absolutely staggering knowledge base in a wide variety of topics, but all that knowledge was earned through blood, sweat, tears, and time. he sat down with his game face on and put in the work. that's also why he makes an excellent teacher: he knows what most students will struggle with because he struggled too, and knows through experience how best to overcome them. i headcanon that it contributes to why he's such a good negotiator: he's really good at stripping down information to the essentials and communicating that information effectively and efficiently to others because of his intense study habits.
humble, but not ignorant of his skills. it's pretty impossible to fully divorce yourself from pride in your achievements, and i don't think it's healthy to not feel any pride at all, so i think obi-wan has a very clear understanding of his skillset and how best to use it. i don't think he'd be ignorant of how good he is at something, especially since the direct consequence of his aptitude led him to being a member of the jedi council. pretty hard to be blind to your strengths when you're being asked for your input on topics that directly draw from that knowledge.
averse to healthcare. listen i enjoy obi-wan whump just as much as the next obi-wan stan (the desire to put him in the cosmic salad spinner comes with the territory, i fear) but as a character who grew up in an environment that deeply cares for the well-being of all, and knowing that you cannot help others unless you yourself first have the ability to do so, i can't really see him ignoring injuries outside of combat scenarios. like on the battlefield he's got more pressing concerns than a pesky little shrapnel wound or five, but once the battle's over?? he might not be first in line to the medics but i can't see him avoiding them entirely. an army without a general is working at a sharp disadvantage and i don't think he'd risk his men by neglecting his physical health in that manner. note that i said 'physical'. make of that what you will :)
duty. obi-wan is the definition of a paladin. he takes an oath and by the force he's going to keep it. train the boy? absolutely, qui-gon. whether or not anakin chooses to respect that training is another matter, but he did definitively get knighted! refuse to kill anakin? listen he's handed vader his own ass to him twice post order 66 and each time he did it he did it nonlethally. that takes skill. that takes dedication. exile yourself to tatooine for 19 years and then decide fuck it, we ball, and die after Once Again Deciding Not To Kill Anakin Skywalker? step aside casper, there's a new friendly ghost in town. every time obi-wan commits to something the man COMMITS. you GOTTA respect that grind.
flirty but in the sense that he's going to match the energy someone brings to the table. like he's a negotiator. he knows how to read people and figure out the Vibes. if he thinks the other person will be 1) 100% receptive and 2) will respond with a delightful wit, why the hell not? obi-wan's highest stat is charisma and he's got expertise in persuasion. whether they're allies or not does not factor into this equation. he can have a little flirtation with morally dubious and potentially hostile characters. as a treat.
this has nothing to do with his character but i firmly believe that he and quinlan vos had at LEAST a fling when they were padawans. there is zero evidence to back this up aside from a few comics where they were being goofy teenagers together but i stand by this. it is an unshakeable aspect of obi-wan to me that has only gotten worse with the kenobi show.
no matter what, no matter how terrible or devastating or downright apocalyptic it gets, obi-wan kenobi will never fall to the dark side. never. it won't be easy, but that is a line he has never, and will never cross. i will not hear any "obi-wan touched the dark side during the theed generator fight" slander. if that was true tell me why the force theme was playing during his moment of triumph!!! Would John Williams Lie To Us Like That?? to our face?????
anyways i could go on forever about obi-wan because he is My Ultimate Blorbo but this post is getting super long so i'll leave it there. hope this helped even a little or at the very least was entertaining for you to read <3
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 2 months
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omg this just popped into my head and i desperately need it like i literally will not be able to stop thinking about it about it till it is written but, ethan landry x reader fic based on gods and monsters by lana del rey oml like it would be phenomenal… i don’t want it to incorporate the lyrics i just want it based on the idea of the song? but not about them being actual gods and monsters like to her ethan is a god. especially the lyrics “this is heaven, what i truly want. it’s innocence lost.”. basically reader is super innocent and ethan sees her as an angel and feels the need to ruin her and she sees him as a god and is obsessed with him. super smutty and him praising her and talking her through it. i know this was a lot but i am obsessed with your writing and i think if you wrote this it would be amazing, but only if you’re comfortable 🫶☺️
HI! I hope this was what you wanted. 💕
Gods & Monsters - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You're obsessed with Ethan and he's obsessed with you, but he'd dying to destroy your innocence.
Contains: Fluff-ish moments, Smut - Oral(m and f receiving), fingering, p in v, riding, rough-ish sex. Reader isn't a virgin but doesn't have a lot of experience.
A/N: This was one of the fics I lost the other day, and I'm so sad because I liked what I'd already written before. BUT I was determined to get this done lmao
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You didn’t expect to fall so hard for Ethan Landry. What started as a small crush on one of your friends led to full-blown infatuation. Once you found yourself hanging off every word that slipped past his perfect lips, always making sure you were beside him whenever you’d go out with your friends, and even letting your grades slip a little just so you’d have the excuse to be alone with him to study, you realized how fucked you were. You didn’t care, though, because he’s everything you wanted.
He was tall, and very attractive. But what really sucked you in was the way he lit up whenever he talked to you about the things he was passionate about. The way his voice sounded first thing in the morning when you’d all spent the night at Tara’s. The way he ignored any other girls that looked in his direction, at least when he was with you.
Ethan was just as caught up in you as you were with him. The first night you walked into Tara’s, he could’ve sworn you were literally glowing. He thought you were the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen, and once he talked to you and realized how sweet you were, he knew he had to make you his. He found himself daydreaming about taking you on dates, holding your hand, kissing you. But sometimes, his thoughts weren’t so innocent.
He knew you weren’t a virgin, but after a drunken game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ turned sexual, he learned that there were a lot of things you hadn’t done. He wanted to be the first, and hopefully only person you’d do those things with. He even went as far as wondering how you’d sound, the faces you’d make, how much of him you could take in your mouth before it was too much. He felt a little guilty from time to time for thinking about you in that way, because you were just so sweet. But the desire to destroy your innocence just kept getting stronger, no matter how hard he’d try to push those thoughts about you to the side.
The two of you shamelessly flirted with each other, so much that the rest of your friends thought there was something more going on than there was. It wasn’t uncommon for Ethan to pull you into his lap whenever there wasn’t an empty seat available beside him, or for the two of you to be so caught up in your own conversations that you’d forget your friends were even there. He wanted to take things to the next level, but he’d always get nervous and shut down whenever he got close to kissing you.
You lived down the hall from Tara, which made it so convenient for you and Ethan’s study sessions. Whenever you had plans with your friends, Ethan would come to your apartment to study with you before. With exams coming up, Ethan couldn’t stop thinking about how he needed to get over his nerves and finally make a move. He knew he’d still get to see you, but he wouldn’t have the excuse to spend alone time with you.
As Ethan sat on your bed, his fingers moving against his keyboard, you started to get bored. He kept peaking over his laptop screen to see you stretched out on your stomach at the foot of your bed, scrolling through your phone.
“That’s not homework,” he said, playfully scolding you as you sat up to look at him.
“If I have to keep looking at anything school related, I’m going to go crazy.”
“We still have over an hour before we have to go to Tara’s. What would you like to do?” He asked, closing his computer to give you his attention.
“We could watch a funny movie. I need to laugh,” you suggested, as he shook his head.
“We don’t have enough time for that…but,” he said, sitting his laptop on the bed beside him. “I know how to make you laugh.”
He smirked as he crawled closer to you. You knew what was coming, the slight look of panic in your eyes making him chuckle before his fingers dug into your sides.
“Ethan,” you whined, trying to grab at his hands to pull them off you. You were starting to tear up from laughing, and your breathing was getting heavier. “Stop it! You’re going to make me fall off the bed!”
“I’d never let that happen,” he said, his fingers not letting up.
“Seriously, Ethan!” You were starting to wheeze from laughing so hard, so he finally pulled his hands away. You placed one of your hands on your chest as you tried to take deep breaths, as Ethan settled back into the spot he was in before on your bed. “That was so mean.”
“I think it’s funny that you’ve never tried to get me back,” he said, a smug look on his face. “Is it because I’m stronger than you?”
“Knowing you, you’d have me pinned to the bed so I wouldn’t be able to move while you tickled me.”
Ethan got a little caught up in the idea of that. He wanted to have you pinned to the bed, but not to tickle you. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you were moving closer to him, the only thing bringing him back into the moment was when your fingertips started to move against his sides.
“Hey!” he said through his laughter as he grabbed at your hands. You weren’t going to give up easily, so you moved to straddle him, pulling your hands away every time he reached for them. “Please, you gotta stop!”
“No,” you said, your hands moving further up his ribs, making him laugh even harder. He knew it wasn’t meant to be sexual, but the way your ass was rubbing against him as you moved was making him hard.
“Stop!” he yelled, finally grabbing your hands. Your face dropped as you looked at him, and he immediately felt guilty for yelling at you like that. “I’m sorry…you’re just,” he said, letting out a gasp once you started to move off him, your eyes going wide once you felt how hard he was underneath you. “That. You’re making me hard.”
“Oh,” you softly said, staring at the bulge in his jeans. “Is it a bad thing that I did?”
“No…I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he sighed, before he sat up. “Does it make you uncomfortable that you do that to me?”
He watched your cheeks turn pink at his question. This wasn’t how he planned on making his move, but the door was wide open for him to have the conversation.
“No,” you said, “have I made you hard before?”
“I get hard just thinking about you,” he confessed, the sexual tension in the room getting stronger as each second passed.
You were starting to get nervous as you sat there. You didn’t have the most experience in the world, your previous sexual encounters with your ex mainly consisted of you just laying there and waiting until he was done, so you didn’t know how to give a blow job. But you wanted to learn. You wanted Ethan to teach you.
“Can I…suck it?” you asked, his eyes growing wide. “Sorry, stupid question.”
“No, it’s not stupid…do you want me to tell you how to do it?” he asked, as you smiled and nodded. “Okay, uh, I’ll just get these off.”
He slid off the side of your bed and unbuttoned his jeans before shimmying them down his legs. You gawked as you saw the tent in his boxers, wondering if you were in over your head for even thinking you could do this.
“I hate to ask this…” no he didn’t. “But would you want to get on the floor? It’d be easier for you.” You nodded as you slid off the side of the bed and stood in front of him. “Wait,” he said, once you started to drop to your knees. You stood back up to face him, as he leaned in to kiss you. You needily kissed him back, your hands on his cheeks as he started to rub your hips. Once you pulled back, he smiled at you. “You don’t feel like you have to do this, right?”
“No, I want to do this,” you said, looking at him as you sank onto the floor.
“Fuck…eye contact like that is good,” he said, running his fingers through your hair. “I guess I’ll just slide these down.”
His fingers hooked under the waistband of his boxers as he slid them down his thighs, his cock springing free right in front of your face. He let out a sweet laugh once he noticed how wide your eyes got.
“Do I just put it in my mouth?” you asked, as he groaned at how innocent you were.
“Let’s start with just touching it,” he suggested, as you nodded and reached your hand up. “Wrap your hand around it…just like that, baby,” he said, taking a deep breath as he tried to contain himself. “Now move your hand back and forth, but not too fast.”
You did as he said, your eyes glancing between his and his cock. You weren’t sure if you were good at what you were doing, but he was breathing heavier the longer you did it.
“Do you want to try to put it in your mouth?” he asked, as you nodded and leaned forward. “How about you just do what you think is right and I’ll tell you if it’s bad or good?”
“Okay,” you shyly said, hoping that you would get it right.
Ethan’s biggest fantasy was coming to fruition. His head was spinning as you took the head of his cock in your mouth, your hand still stroking him. Even though you weren’t a virgin, he still felt like he was devirginizing you, at least in this way.
“That’s perfect,” he said, his eyes looking into yours as you sucked on his sensitive tip. “Try to take a little more.”
You did as he said, easing a little more of him into your mouth. His hand tangled in your hair, his grip loose. The last thing he wanted was to push you too far and make you want to stop when you’d just started. He was about to ask you for more, when you boldly took as much of him as you could in your mouth, to the point that you were gagging around him. You quickly pulled your head back, refusing to make eye contact like you’d just done something wrong.
“Hey,” Ethan said, his hand that was in your hair moved to your chin. He tilted your head so you’d look at him, your eyes already watery from the gagging. “If you want to keep going, there’s a little tip that helps with that.”
He showed you the thumb trick, and talked to you about bobbing your head too, along with moving your hand. Once you felt like you had a better understanding of what you needed to do, you leaned forward, taking just as much of him in your mouth as you did before.
You were still gagging a little, but not as bad as you did the first time. Your mouth kept getting more and more wet, the feeling making Ethan groan. His hand snaked back in your hair as he fought the urge to thrust in your mouth.
“You’re doing such a good job,” he praised, “Twist your hand a little…oh fuck.”
You were catching on quickly, and Ethan was so proud of you. Your eyes stayed on his, even when tears started to slip past your lower lash line. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, his grip on your hair tightening.
“Can I try something?” he asked, his eyes pleading with yours. You hummed around him to let him know he could, because the last thing you wanted to do was pull him out of your mouth.
He started to thrust past your lips as you gagged around him, your free hand gripping your thumb as hard as you could. Big, fat teardrops were flowing down your cheeks, but you were loving it. His eyes were fluttering as his jaw dropped open, but he still stayed focused on you, not wanting any of this to be too much.
“I’m gonna cum,” he said, his voice a little raspy from his panting. “Can I cum in your mouth?”
You hummed around him again to respond, the vibrations around his cock sending him over the edge as his hand tensed up in your hair, tugging on it harder than he wanted to. You just kept moaning around him, so turned on as his salty cum coated your tastebuds. He gave a few more weak thrusts as his hand in your hair relaxed before he slowly slid out of your mouth.
“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching down to take your hand. He helped you to your feet before wiping the tears off your cheeks.
“Yeah, I liked that,” you said, your voice raw from all the gagging. “Can we do it again?”
“We can do anything you want to,” he said, placing his hands on your hips to hold you close. “But right now, can I eat you out?”
“Oh, Um,” you mumbled, your cheeks getting rosy at the idea. “You want to do that?”
“I’m not your ex,” he said, smirking at you. “I bet he never made you cum.”
“He didn’t,” you sighed, as Ethan backed you towards the bed.
“I will,” he said, as he started to lift your shirt.
Ethan got you out of your jeans and shirt, leaving you in just your bra and panties. He hovered over you, his mouth moving against your neck as his hand roamed your body. You were squirming as you tried to patient, but it was getting harder for you, especially when his hand reached in between your thighs and rubbed you over your panties.
“So wet,” he mumbled against your neck, his breath giving you goosebumps. “I can’t wait to taste you.”
He pulled his hand away as he sat up, grabbing your hands for you to sit up, too. His hands reached around you to unhook your bra, his mouth not leaving your neck as he slid the straps down your arms and threw it to the other side of the room.
“We have to go to Tara’s soon,” you reminded him, as he pulled away and started to laugh.
“We’re probably going to be late.”
He leaned down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You started to whimper as he sucked, pulling off it with a soft pop before he moved to the other side.
Once his lips trailed further down your body, you were trying so hard to be in the moment, but your mind started to wander. You practically worshiped the ground Ethan walked on, and all he wanted in that moment was you, but you still didn’t know if this was going to anything more than a friends with benefits situation, or if he wanted to be with you like you wanted to be with him.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, pulling you from your thoughts as he started to kiss your inner thighs.
“Mmm, it’s nothing,” you moaned once he started to suck your flesh into his mouth.
He pulled away to look at you, “No, tell me.”
You sighed in frustration, both from him stopping and you really didn’t want to pour your heart out to him in that moment. But he just kept staring at you, waiting for you to say something.
“I’ve…fuck,” you sighed, taking a deep breath. “I want this…but I need to know how you feel about me.”
He smiled at you as your blush spread across your cheeks. “You haven’t realized that I’m in love with you yet?”
“In love with me?” you asked, as he slid your panties down your legs.
“Mhm, I’m fucking obsessed with you,” he said, before he buried his head between your thighs.
“Shit,” you gasped, as his tongue licked fat stripes from your entrance to your clit.
He started to focus on your clit, giving all the attention to your needy bundle of nerves. You looked down to see that he was watching you, taking in all the little faces you were making. He was alternating between swirling and lightly sucking, the stimulation making your entire body feel hot.
He slid one of his fingers inside of you, your legs feeling shaky as he moved it against the spot inside of you that you weren’t even sure existed. He watched you start to fall apart over just one finger, and once he added another one, you were a whimpering mess. He licked your clit a few more times before he pulled away to talk to you, his fingers still moving.
“You never told me how you feel about me,” he said, curving his fingers to apply more pressure.   
“Unfff, fuck,” you whined, your hands tightly gripping the comforter underneath you.
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll stop,” he playfully said, smirking as his fingers brought you closer to the edge.
Your brain was turning to mush, but you pulled yourself together for a second, not wanting him to stop. “I’m in love with you, too.”
He leaned back down to your clit, sucking on it a little harder than he had before. Your whines got louder as the euphoric feeling washed over you, his free hand holding down your bucking hips. It felt so good that your eyes started to water, your entire body tingling as he worked you through it.
Just as you came down from your high, you heard a knock coming from your front door. You were too fucked out from Ethan’s fingers to even care, as he started to laugh.
“I bet that’s Tara,” he said, as he laid down beside you. “We’re late.”
“Fuck,” you groaned, lazily sliding your naked body off the side of your bed, landing on your feet.
You grabbed your robe and put it on, your legs still wobbly as you made your way to the front door. You looked out the peephole to see Tara and Mindy.
“Hey,” Tara said once you opened the door, her smile dropping once she noticed you weren’t dressed. “Are you still coming over?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon,” you said, noticing both of them staring at something. “What?”
“Is Ethan here?” Mindy asked, a smirk playing on her lips as she realized what was going on.
“Yeah, we’ll both be over in a few,” you said, still not understanding what they were looking at.
“Okay…you might want to cover that up before you come over,” Mindy said, gesturing to your neck as Tara started to giggle.
You bit your bottom lip as the embarrassment hit, realizing that Ethan sucking on your neck earlier must’ve left a hickey.
“No, you know what? You guys finish whatever ‘studying’ you’re doing, then come over. We’re sorry for interrupting,” Tara said, fighting off her laughter as she and Mindy walked down the hall to her apartment.
You sighed as you closed the door, knowing that you and Ethan were definitely going to be grilled once you did go to Tara’s.
“Why didn’t you tell me you put this on my neck?” you said, glancing at it in the mirror after you walked back in your room.
“Are you embarrassed that they know you’re mine?” he questioned, walking up behind you. He rested his head against your shoulder, but your mind was in a haze once you felt his hard cock pressing against you.
“You know how long I’ve wanted to be yours? I’m definitely not embarrassed,” you said, making him laugh as he moved your hair to the side the place more kisses to your neck.
“Well, I did hear them say we should finish studying,” he said, as his hand reached over to untie your robe. “I’m not done studying you yet.”
“Fuck,” you gasped, when his hand started to massage one of your breasts, gently pinching at your nipple. Your back leaned against his chest as you relaxed into his touches, your breathing getting heavier as his hand trailed lower. “Can I be on top?”
“For a little bit, yeah,” he mumbled against you as his fingers rubbed across your still-soaked pussy. “Is that okay?”
“Mhm.”
You had so many things you wanted to do with Ethan, so many things you hadn’t experienced yet. Any nerves you had about your inexperience faded, your confidence showing as you got on top to straddle him.
“Take your time, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, as you grabbed his cock that was resting against his lower stomach. You lined him up with your entrance and started to sink down on him. “So tight,” he groaned, as you tried to get used to the stretched-out feeling. He wasn’t all the way in and you already felt so full.
“Mmm,” you moaned once you’d taken all of him, your ass meeting the top of his thighs.
You took a minute, trying to adjust your legs to the most comfortable position as his hands ran up your sides. Once you started to bounce on him, his hands went to your hips to help you move. Your bottom lip went in between your teeth as you held eye contact with him. Once he started to thrust up into you, your hands went to your breasts, massaging them as he helped your hips meet his.
He loved having you on top, and he loved watching the way your tits bounced, but he needed to be in control. He needed to push your limits a little until you were falling apart underneath him. He held your hips in place a few seconds before he flipped you over, a squeal flying out of your mouth. He smirked down at you before he grabbed the back of your thighs, pushing them toward you with his hands.
“Stop me if anything hurts, okay?” he said, as you smiled and nodded. He slid back inside of you, his hands right below the back of your knees as he started to pound into you.
Your mouth fell open as he fucked you, every sound that built up in your throat flying out. He was so deep, but the tip of his cock hit your g-spot with every thrust.
“That feel good?” he asked, pushing your legs closer to you. You babbled in response, the new angle making him go even deeper. “Look at you, so cock drunk, so perfect.”
All you could do was whimper as you felt yourself getting close. You were fighting to keep your fluttering eyes open, because you didn’t want to miss a single second of watching him. The beautiful boy that you’d fallen so hard for had a thin layer of sweat on his forehead that his curls were starting to stick to, his bottom lip was in between his teeth. You felt so submissive as you just laid there and took it. You were okay with him using you in whatever way he wanted, because you’d do anything for him.
“You gonna cum, baby?” he asked, as he felt your walls start to flutter.
“Yes!” you cried out, your hands shakily gripping the comforter again as the wave crashed into you so hard your vision got fuzzy. You kept trying to talk as he fucked you through it, his teeth showing as he smiled at your babbles.
“I’m almost there, baby. Can you take it a little longer?” he asked as your eyes peeled open to look at him.
“Yes, it feels so good,” you moaned, as he sped up, chasing his orgasm.
Your body kept jolting like little aftershocks from the intensity of your own orgasm, and you were feeling a little overstimulated, but the last thing you wanted was for him to stop. He was going so fast and so deep as he panted, mumbling your name as his head started to roll back.
“Gonna…fuck. Cum,” he said, pulling his cock out and shooting his release all over your tummy. He caught his breath as he looked at you through his hooded eyes. You smiled at him as he moved to lay on the bed beside you.
“I think we need to shower,” you said, glancing down at his cum on you. “I don’t really have anything that has a manly scent, though.”
“That’s okay. I’ll get to smell like you,” he said, his fingertips brushing against your arm.
After your shower with Ethan, you concealed the giant purple mark on your neck and took the walk of shame over to Tara’s. Your friends got quiet as you walked in, glancing back and forth between you and Ethan.
“Sooo,” Chad said, noticing Ethan’s wet hair, “Did you two finally realize that you’re meant to be together?”
“Oh yeah,” Ethan said, as Chad walked over to dap him up.
“It’s about time. It was getting exhausting to watch the two of you,” Mindy said, as Tara nodded in agreement.
You, Ethan and Chad walked over to sit on the couch as Mindy pushed play on the movie she was waiting to start until you got there. After a few minutes, Chad looked over to Ethan.
“Dude, this is a little blunt, but you smell so good right now.”
You started to giggle as Ethan laughed and wrapped his arm around you, holding you close.
“He’s right, you do smell good.”
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