#these two have...other wild shit but that mostly has to do with the whole 'you're not good enough for my son' bullshit

[dootznbootz]

The dumb and sweet story about my Papa

To get around the "Don't drink and drive" in my area back in the day, a lot of people would ride horses to the bars and back home. There was even a "horse parking lot". Horses remembered their way home from town as it was common to go back and forth even when not going barhopping.

This is incredibly dangerous and don't EVER do this but a lot of folks would get drunk and then hop up on their horse and go home that way. Sometimes needing to have their buddies toss them up on their horse, (sometimes having a rope to tie them on. Again very fucking dangerous.) and the horse would usually go back home from memory. Horses want their food and their friends. Ofc, some horses were naughty but this is just what my Papa (grandpa) told me. People usually would plan it out where "Hey, I'm going to get sloshed tonight, can you pull me off of Butch and take me into the house?"

My Papa didn't do this often (his brother did it more) but this is the one story with my grandma.

One late afternoon, my grandma came home from chores to see my Papa on his big, buckskin gelding, Butch, wearing nice clothes, and having a mess of flowers in his lap but swaying. He was drunk. My grandma was so mad at him as "WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE? And why are you drunk?!"

He was slurring and she needed her sister to help her carry him into the house where they tossed him on their couch. She was getting him water and thankfully her parents were pretty chill and let him stay. She was scolding him when he suddenly grabbed her arm and asked "Marry me?". She said "Yeah, sure, whatever. Hold still" and he just flopped back on the couch. She didn't think anything of it as he was drunk.

Ofc, when he woke up he was hungover. But he was still really happy and was telling my grandma that he thinks they should have their wedding in this church as they're more relaxed, that they'll plan a date around the harvest, that he's been fighting his mom for his grandma's ring (My papa and grandma were from different wealth and social classes and his family did NOT like her.) My grandma was confused af. Where did this come from?

"You said yes? I asked you to marry me and you said yes?"

My Papa is a quiet man (sounds like he was incredibly shy in his youth too) and apparently was so nervous about asking my grandma to marry him that he needed "liquid courage" before he went to see her but had too much. :')

He wanted to give her a romantic "prince on horseback". He had flowers too but they fell out of his lap. Apparently, they found a lot of them on the side of their road on the way to her house. While my grandma was a little mad at him, she says how she should've known as she's always been the "talker" between the two of them. They've been together for around 62 years and are still loving.

Side story: I mentioned how my papa's brother did the whole "Ride a horse home when very drunk" often. My Papa was often the guy who would stay up late til he got back... Sometimes my Papa would be mad at him and just toss him into the wheelbarrow that had the mucked-up straw to sleep and then just took care of Butch before heading back into the house. 🤷

[neptune-scythe]

Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

Send tweet

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

[cr1mson5returns]

Yet another idea I've been tossing around...

Cassie isn't really happy about the whole arrangement she has with Tim when he finally shows his face in Gotham City again. It boiled down to "I know I was an absolute ass to you last time we talked, but I desperately need you to trust me on this one and just let me run wild for a little bit, okay?"

She was not okay with that. But she had to be okay with it in the end, just to avoid losing one of her closest friends. She had been worried about Tim for a while, but the worry levels exploded exponentially after she learned about the Anti-Life Equation. There had been a disturbing lack of Tim during the Crisis, after all, and nobody had really been able to explain it away until then. She knew enough about the whole thing to know that he'd been made to do awful things, things he probably still remembered. And honestly, Cassie starts to wonder if maybe some part of that stuck around in his mind a little longer than it should've, if maybe he's acting the way he is because he was influenced a little too much by the Equation.

After the team effort that goes into besting Ra's al Ghul, Cassie does check in on Tim. Makes sure he's okay and planning to heed Alfred's request of no patrol for a week (under threat of house arrest), and asks Tim to text her sometime. She doesn't want to be overbearing - not sure how he'd react, given their last couple of conversations and everything he's gone through so far - but she wants him to know she cares.

It becomes irritatingly apparent that Cassie can't just let Tim be the director of how often they check in with each other. She gets one or two texts in six weeks, and both are sort of vague assurances that he's still alive and will probably be alive tomorrow. But it's sitting wrong with her. She pulls the best friend card and bullies Dick into giving her Tim's new home address before she flies to Gotham.

In this weird little interim period when Tim isn't feeling welcome or wanted at the manor, but doesn't quite have as much money in his own personal bank account as he needs for anything else, he's renting a spot in one of the historic neighborhoods of the city. It's an older building, and Cassie can tell that there's been no effort to fortify this place on Tim's end from how easily the window slides open. Still, she climbs through and finds him sprawled on his back on the bed. He lifts his head to give her a look - puzzled? Mostly annoyed. Cassie doesn't care. She sets a fresh-made smoothie down on the bedside table. "Here, it's black cherry."

And with that, Cassie sits down on the edge of the bed somewhere in the space between Tim's right arm and leg. She doesn't say anything when he expends a little more effort than usual pulling himself up into a seated position. What she does say is: "I didn't forget what you told me, you know. About the Crisis and the Equation."

Tim takes a drink of his smoothie. "I think you should," he tells her.

Cassie rolls her eyes, gulps down a mouthful of strawberry banana. "I disagree. You can't just drop that shit on me and expect me not to wonder if you're okay."

She doesn't turn around but she knows Tim shrugs at that. "It doesn't matter. I've been through worse."

"Have you?"

Tim doesn't say anything to that. "You're about to make me go to therapy."

Cassie snorts. "No. I'm about to make you spend time doing things you actually like for once."

"I like being Red Robin."

"Can I please just have one conversation with you where you're not lying to my face? And besides, you know damn well I'm not talking about that. When was the last time you had a camera in your hands? Went to the skate park? Fuck, when was the last time you did anything that wasn't hero work?"

She does turn, then, to see Tim just looking down at his lap. He's straining not to squeeze the smoothie in his hands, she can tell. "Long time ago," he admits.

Cassie just nods. She figured as much. "Well....it's not too late to start again."

[nyxknocks]

This movie was hyped up so much to be so miserable and I was left irritated and... not amused, per se, but feeling like this film was a joke.

I get the message it was going for, mostly. The youth of Japan in the 60s were dealing with harsh realities--men were constantly preying on young women and abusing them. There is sex and violence everywhere and that's shown no better than the fact they get into this pseudo-Bonnie and Clyde bullshit but like, the shitty version of it. The youth are rebelling and the older generation were either disinterested in curbing it (the father who has a "well what can ya do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" mentality) or taking advantage of it (literally every other man in this film).

The two leads (who's names I can't be bothered to relearn) are the rebellious youth--but the girl is still a victim. She is a victim all throughout. What you don't get, however, is how she gets to this situation. The movie starts with her getting in the car with a strange man and it seems like she does it all the time. I'm sad she died because again, victim, but they made her death into a joke. Or at least it felt like a joke. Something something you could say that the focus on her high heels is equal to her effort to appear as an older sexual object and that leads to her literal death but I don't know.

The main dude just sucks. I don't know how I was expected to be so sad when he died when he was a garbage human throughout? Except for the situation where he was sleeping with an older woman, and I suppose you could argue he has been groomed and abused since he was young, but there is virtually no proof of this. You could argue he is just perpetuating a cycle of abuse against younger people, but you could also lean towards the direction that he's just in a sexual relationship with this older woman because she has means and he has nothing. It's a relationship of mutualism.

I hated the camera work. I get that it was wanting to put you inside the story and gives it a more voyeuristic feeling to go along with the inherent voyeurism of the entire film, but it was so shaky that it just made me nauseous and give me a headache. The acting was awful all throughout. The apple scene was wild and unnecessary. They made excellent work using the very vibrant red for the main girl as red is often linked to sex and sexuality, so having her be SO vibrant with it (in her clothes, her hair, the red phone, etc) immediately paints her as no more than a sex object--which just gets reiterated throughout the film. The times when you're supposed to realize she's a young girl being taken advantage of is when she's either in her white underclothes (typically associated with modesty and purity) or when she's literally on the literal, actual ground in real dirt beneath him, because all of the women are beneath the men in this film. They are either always looming or just. Above.

It was interesting how they shot the scene right after the abortion with the main dude and the voice over. Keeping the doctor and I think the sister's voices off-screen made it seem like that whole scene took place in his head--like he was having some sort of episode or realization moment. It was probably the most unnerving part of this movie for me. But again, the apple was wild. Even when she was recovering from a BACK ALLEY ABORTION he was still rubbing up all over her face. I don't blame he ever truly loved her, she was just an easy sexual outlet for him.

Like I said, I see why you say this film is bleak. It's dark, that's for sure, and it touches on extremely sensitive topics. It does a really good job depicting how common it is during that time (and now) for men to view women (especially young women) as nothing but punching bags or sex objects to toss and abuse as they please. But the fact this film is labeled as "romance" disgusts me. Main dude is an abusive piece of shit. Where is the romance...

I don't know. I'm used to watching some pretty messed up things so my expectations are probably different. I feel bad the main girl died. I could literally not care any less about the main dude. Honestly, he deserved to become roadkill. Alas.

[backslashdelta]

Ask game 💀

Not me seeing this ask and being like... are you laughing at me for reblogging and ask game or??? Lmao. Anyway thank you!!

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

Just kidding I take it back, I'm not thanking you because this is a HARD QUESTION.

This is kinda wild because it's not just removing one of the characters, it's having them die. So then there's also the question of like, how that would impact the events that followed, how it would impact each of the characters individually, etc. And I think I want to answer this question from a story perspective, rather than a "who would I want to remove" perspective.

I don't think I'd want it to be a season 3+ newbie, because I feel like they mostly don't get established enough for it to really have a proper impact; I feel like it would seem almost cheap? Idk how to explain it properly, but I guess I just think it would be glossed over, and I think if you're killing off a major character then it shouldn't be glossed over.

So that leaves us with the main S1+2 cast. I thought this would be harder but actually... I think I'm immediately wanting to say Sam? He's really well loved by everyone, he has a lot of close bonds; with the football team, with Kurt and Finn from living with them, with Blaine and Tina in their senior year together, his relationship with Mercedes. The whole Glee club has rallied around him in the past when he was homeless, he moved in with Kurt and Finn so he could go back to school with his friends. He's popular but still so kind and I think that him dying would really shake everyone – not that I want him gone, but I think that his death could have really interesting consequences for everyone involved.

Mercedes would be crushed; and depending on where they were in their relationship with each other, she could have some really complicated feelings (were they on a break and she thinks he died not knowing she loves him?). Blaine loses his best friend, and I think Blaine already has some issues around losing people, so ooooooohhh boy he would be an absolute mess. Everyone would have some shit to deal with but I do think those two would be the most impacted by it.

I feel like this was not the direction this question was meant to take... oops?

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Kool Kezzie, MD

They got their medical license off of a TikTok scam, but their PhD actually IS real! So are their many honorary degrees!

Anyway! So this is another character playlist (I genuinely don't make many of these. Clap for me.)

Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lXAtHsgY0zHjjEKZDBCZy?si=d446fa024fb540c6

Explanations below:

Noel's Lament by Ride the Cyclone Cast

For I sing songs until the break of dawn I embrace a new man every night My life's one never ending carnival A world of boozy-floozy flashing light I want to be that fucked up girl

A strong opener for Kezzie! When Kez first started adventuring, he was already a little fucked up. Adventurer life meant freedom, sure, but Kez was NOT a wilting flower back at home. They genuinely wanted a life where they could be the kind of person they wanted to be without getting judgement for it. Say what you want about the goal itself, but Kez had one, and she was FULLY into the idea of being that fucked up girl for a while. Adventure gave him the opportunity to do it, in addition to all the other things it gave him.

Hot Mess by Cobra Starship

You were a problem child Been grounded your whole life So now you running wild Playing with them good girls No, that ain't your style You think you're hot shit Ooh I love it, I love it

This one’s not all too deep. Actually, most of these songs aren’t, for the next couple! Kez is a hot mess! They love it! She’s found people who love it, too—or at least don’t mind it that much. This is a song for going out to the club with your friends or accepting that bottle from the villager you just saved and enjoying all that life has to offer you even if it does make you a hot mess.

Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is That's what you get for waking up in Vegas Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

Also not too deep. Maybe a LITTLE more focused on the consequences, but still ultimately having fun with it. It also has the benefit of being sung to someone else—come one, get up, face the consequences with me! You had fun, and there’s fun to be had in the hangover, too! Did we get hitched last night? Let’s find out! This is Kez still a little drunk but mostly hungover pulling one of her friends out of the hotel bed they’d crashed in, WAY too much energy for how early it is and how late it was when they collapsed, flitting around and finding last night’s clothes for a proud walk of shame and find the rest of the Call. Maybe they’re just in the next rooms over! Maybe they’re across the city! We’ll see! Didn’t you want adventure?

LA Devotee by Panic! At The Disco

You got two black eyes from loving too hard And a black car that matches your blackest soul I wouldn't change ya, oh-oh Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no-o Oh the neon coast was your sign And the Midwest wind with Pisces rising Wouldn't change ya, oh-oh Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no-o

This one marks the end of the rose colored glasses songs. They’re not very deep, they’re very happy and poppy, they’re very flashing lights and big grins and drugs from darling strangers. Kez is—what’s that?—happy! Her ass wasn’t working through anything with adventuring. Arguably, they were running away, but what they wanted was right there in that first song. He was happy being a fucked up girl. She was adventuring because she was staying by the side of the people she’d decided to love, and because it was right and she could help, and not because she had a specific personal goal. So these songs—this one included—are perky and all about the party and the consequences, because to Kez there wasn’t anything else and didn’t need to be. And no one would be trying to make them change or leave!

Last Party by MIKA

If you could look into the future, would ya? If you could see it, would you even want to? I've got a feeling that there's bad news coming But I don't want to find it out If it's the end of the world, let's party Like it's the end of the world, let's party

Aha. Okay so. Remember the whole, no one would try to make Kez change or leave? Retirement didn’t exactly sneak up on him. She’s got a +10(?) to insight and 24 Int (don’t worry players about why Kez has specific stats). There was a scare when they first rescued Callie that, because Callie and Arthur were SO into each other, Callie would ask Arthur to stay home with her and he would agree. But he didn’t stay, Callie went with them, and Kez could relax. THEN those two got HITCHED! Which. Was fine. There was a scare right at the end of the night where— where we were trying to all get together so we could get a picture post-reception, and we couldn’t find Thorn at first (that’s fine, she’ll turn up) and then once she did Callie was pulled away by one of the nobles (understandable, she’ll extricate herself politely in a minute), and then Arthur had to go talk to Callie’s father (well, who could blame him for not wanting to stiff the man?) and then Kez had to throw up in the bushes SO quick and Break followed them out to make sure they were okay, and— the carriage came, and the happy couple had to go, and— there was never a photo of all of them together at the end of the happiest day of two of their lives. Which was fine! They came back from the honeymoon and there was a break and they started trying to have a BABY and—Arthur, you do realize Callie won’t be able to come with us if she’s pregnant or has an infant, right, when this whole god fight is over with—oh, you’re? Settling down after the god fight? Oh! Okay. Okay!—well, it’s. Well, it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. Who knows how far into the future that is!

Straight Ahead by Dom Fera

When she saw the movie all about her life Well she noticed some things they didn’t get quite right Cause they added mistakes and cut her best damn nights Everybody who knew it sent a goddamn text “Did you tell them to do it so it makes more sense?”

This song and everything following is for post-retirement Kez. Specifically, it’s for the couple of years post-adventure when the world was in a frenzy for their newest heroes, the ones that had stopped gods from destroying the planar system itself. What heroics! What happiness! What tragedy! And Kez, right in the middle of it—signing off on merchandising rights, smiling for the cameras, setting up interviews, and, of course, going to the premieres of the shows about their adventures. Watching and laughing at themself Ember Island Players style hardly ever gets old. The selected lyrics really Get me for Kez, too—did you tell them to add shitty stuff you didn’t do so the story would make more sense? Kez is more than happy to be flattened into a tabloid picture, and the further the stories get from the truth the less they risk hurting to hear, but I imagine that, uh, would hurt coming from people—you make more sense when you’re portrayed worse.

Feel Bad by A Story Told

I wanna wake up at noon and not feel bad about it Like I did back when we only slept three hours When all of my friends were in one place When all of my dreams were of your face I wanna make out for days and not feel bad about it Like a wasted year drawn out by business hours When all of my friends were in one place When all of my dreams were of your face

Now we’re solidly into post retirement Kez. They want their friends back in one place! They want to do all this shit again and not be ruining their life for it! Just because everyone else involved moved on/left doesn’t mean Kez has to, or wants to, or even quite knows how to. There’s something so Kez to me about a song like this, where literally the idea behind it is “I want to feel good and have the things I used to have without having to feel bad about it.”

Beer by Reel Big Fish

She called me late last night, to say she loved me so But I guess she changed her mind Well I should have known, it wouldn't be all right But I can't live without her So I won't even try... And if I get drunk well, I'll pass out On the floor now baby You won't bother me no more

However. Never mind that last song. Check this out: you don’t have to deal with all that shit if you’re passed out or ignoring it with substances!!!! That, kids, is what is known as a LIFE HACK. This song has the BONUS of being about someone else, too—someone who left, perhaps, someone who calls and then doesn’t show up? Someone who changed their mind about loving Kez? Hm. That person could be anyone. But they don’t know Kez knows this one easy trick: it’s called liver failure and it’s awesome and everyone likes it.

Popstar by New Hollow

Your attention Give me attention I need attention I can't remember (When I had a thought of my own) I can't remember (The day I sold my soul) So I'll do just what I'm told And I'll call it rock 'n' roll Well I can't remember (The last time that I've smiled) That wasn't for a camera

This one is another for Kezzie’s fame. Kez LOVES attention and fame! One of their big things is not being forgotten for all the things they did—and their friends, too! This song is for grinning in all the tabloid photos no matter what they’ve caught you doing, because it means Kez is still alive, up to something, on everyone’s lips. What’s that? The undercurrent of the song is about how when every aspect of your personal life is advertised even your privacy starts seeming like something you need to perform in? You can’t quite trust your own smile because you’re unthinkingly checking the angle when you do? Aha. Huh?

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody by Gloria West and the Gents

A little party never killed nobody, so we gon' dance until we drop A little party never killed nobody, right here, right now's all we got Islands, diamonds, trips around the world Don't mean a thing if I ain't your girl

The OG song is bad and this cover has real trumpets which makes the whole thing better imo. This one is a what it says on the tin type song! This song is for the clubs and the house parties and the—other. Places. (Morgan is not the type to go out to many parties. This may be obvious in the fact that I am currently writing an explanation post on my dungeons and dragons blog about an oc playlist.) What could go wrong? A little party has never killed anyone at all! And Kez especially will live forever!

Euphoria by Motopony

Euphoria, Euphoria, you come at such a price Every time I get a hold of you, I know I roll the dice How far can I go from my pain before it takes my life? Perhaps in death, Euphoria, you'll be forever mine Oooo, I wanna feel good too

To quote Alex: hey btw. fuck you for putting a little party never killed nobody Right before euphoria

Which. Yeah. So this one’s a very solid interlude song. Euphoria is such a slow and pretty song. I’d say it sticks out in this particular playlist! The idea behind this is:

Kez is. Well. Kez has made a lot of mistakes, certainly, but I think if he had to pin down just one as The Worst, he’d absolutely go for this one. The consequences for the other mistakes were at least mostly only consequences for Kez. But she’s a good uncle. They were, up until this. He literally scared his Teddy bear. Which CANNOT stand.

Euphoria is a standing/living on knife’s edge song that cut other people—Kez’s nephew, the one person Kez had a chance to never hurt—way worse than it cut Kez themself. Euphoria’s a wake up song. Euphoria is a hard U-turn song. Euphoria is the anything but that again song.

I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers

So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars "Hey, I wanna get better!" I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face I wanna get better, better, better, better I wanna get better I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change I wanna get better, better, better, better I wanna get better

Okay NEVER MIND ALL THAT. Listen to this happy song!!!

Euphoria’s the realization that something needs to change, and I Wanna Get Better is the determination to fucking do something about it. No, that will never happen again. No, Teddy should never have to take care of her again. No, this is Kez’s life now, until it’s a life they want it to be. He wants to get better! She wants to make the people who love her proud!

Carry On (We'll Be Here When You Get Back) by Polite Fiction

You can pretend that you know it all The world - condensed, a volume on your shelf But you know, when push comes shove You'll be on your knees and crawling back How lonely it must be, sitting at the top The city lights beneath you, a temporary stop On your way to riches, fame and all the things we're not Conjure all the friends you like, 'cause they don't mean a lot

This isn’t ACTUALLY a song from other peoples’ perspectives about Kez. But it’s not NOT that. The thing about getting healthy is that in order to do so you have to confront the stuff that makes you unhealthy. And girl there’s a lot. One of those things, for sure, is that little nagging voice in your head that says that you’ve fucked everyone’s life up just by being in it. Day’s gone, Break’s gone, Thorn’s moving on, and of course Callie and Arthur have their son and lives and you’ve fucked that up too. And this song is about those people still being there when you’re back, but you’re coming back on your knees, you’re coming back because you fucked up, bad, and they know that. Everything you’ve realized, they’ve thought for years, they’ve been keeping score, you’ve been racking up strikes and haven’t even quite realized—and yes, they’re still here anyway, but it’s still deeply humbling and humiliating to have to crawl back.

Into the Wild - EP Version by LP

Oh please believe me I'm more scared than not That, whoa, this isn't the way And please be there I can barely hang on Whoa, oh, oh, I wait 'til I break Hey, eh, eh, eh… Somebody left the gate open You know we got lost on the way Come save us a runaway train gone insane How do we, how do we not fade?

Now that Kez is better, they have to confront the rest of the world, too. Despite getting better, he still wants to keep some things—the attention, for one, and the fame and wealth that comes with it. The inability to let go of the past that motivates all that isn’t gone just because Kez has put a name to it, and the willingness to let it go isn’t there either. So now the question is, how to go back to Kool Kezzie while keeping everything she’s worked for? The answer: very carefully. Very frightened. Though not from the outside.

Fluorescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys

You used to get it in your fishnets Now you only get it in your night dress Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness Landed in a very common crisis Everything's in order in a black hole Nothing seems as pretty as the past though That Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco Remember when you used to be a rascal? Oh the boy's a slag The best you ever had The best you ever had is just a memory

Kez has never claimed to be perfect or even close. But Kez is, now, careful. Kez has a tight grip on the parts of her life that need attention and monitoring. It may make them feel a little lamer, it might mean they decline the third and fourth party invites of the night, it might remind them more about the things they’ve lost and the person they used to be, but their ass is NOT slipping up.

Nights by Neon Trees

Now I'm misusing my body Now I'm lyin' all the time I keep sayin' that I'm alright But I miss you in my life I can get by the days just fine But the nights I sit alone and wonder why They say that boys don't cry 'Cause all these tears and songs about you Won't bring back the best days of our lives

This song’s all about the stuff Kez has realized he’s missing. She’s alright, she’s content, her days are good! Their nights though. Dark and lonely is the kind of night you REALLY have to watch out for—and, again, just because Kez knows he’s missing it doesn’t mean it will ever come back, and he’s not helping it along by keeping it shuffling along in biographies and merch contracts. Still, she’s at least looking at that head-on. Still, they’re getting through the days absolutely fine. (And there’s symbolism here about the nights being hard partially because of Day. But I’m not the symbolism guy so idk.)

Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy

If heaven's grief brings hell's rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news) For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you) I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

I’m gonna call this a healing song. Of a sort. At a certain point of wanting, it just kind of sits down and makes itself at home. Kez acknowledged it, allowed for it, and felt it all, and then had to keep living his life. We’re transitioning from downer songs (that don’t quite sound like downers) to something a little more driving. There’s a little anger in this one, too, if I can point it out! “Now I’m here to give you all my love so I can watch your face as I take it all away” being sung in a voice that isn’t the main singer’s? It’s not quite a fair song! It’s not just a missing-it song! This one has a sense that some of it was, maybe, taken!

VIP by Manic Drive

No ticket price, name's on guest list tonight Just flash your pass and walk through all the waiting lines Selected and you're destined for the spotlight Chosen and free, you're born to be Get up, like you're one in a million Get up, like a diamond, you're brilliant Get up, oh, don't stop believing You're a star tonight

Kez, back in business. Never! Mind! All! That! They are STAYING! SILLY! Once she’s gotten used to the wanting, she’s allowed to get back to the fun! And it is! It always has been! As long as Kez is careful—and they are, always always—it’s back to Kool Kezzie right and proper.

Déjà Vu by 3OH!3

Hey mister bartender, mix me a drink I really need something to tell me it's okay not to think Because I've been to all these bars and I've seen all these places I've hit on all these girls, I've heard the same conversations Cab driver, cab driver, take me away 'Cause I already know all the words that she'll say And I'll be creeping out the window at the first sight of day 'Cause every single night it seems to go the same way

It’s not bad here having fun, but it can get a little formulaic. Kez is a bit at the top of the world, a bit at the top of his game, and has stayed there for quite a while. Best wizard in the world and all. Name on a lot of Sunyth’s lips. No big. Still, everyone gets bored sometimes! Kez maybe faster than most! New people and places help! And this is still a FUN song. It’s just self-aware, too, about the every night of it.

Carry Me Home by The Ready Set

"I've got a lot on my mind and Got you a drink if you'd like to go Baby let's roll, can I come home?" Then she said: "Shut up, don't you speak You do this to me every week And I won't carry you home, carry you home"

Hi again, Day :)

Okay, so the thing here is, it’s about apologizing to an ex, and getting HARD rebuffed. And, at first, the singer doesn’t realize it! He thinks it’s a joke! He thinks that after this, he’s still going to get to come home!

Anyway so I think a LOT about the fact that. When Day did their speech, the scene was this. The two of them had argued, apologized, both taking equal shares of the blame for the fact that they hadn’t talked in so long. Then they slept together. TWICE. And THEN. The party was leaving, and Day stayed behind. And Day started apologizing again. And Day started talking so nice style about Theo and the old days. And for a couple seconds, Kez genuinely did think there was a chance that Day was telling her that he wasn’t going to walk out the door.

And then that didn’t happen. Which.

Okay, so anyway. The singer doesn’t get to come home and no one’s carrying him and the girl he’s talking to wants nothing to do with him anymore, and until he was told that explicitly he says he thought it was a joke because he’s that oblivious. That’s what this song is about!

Mr 10pm Bedtime by girli

Baby, don't tell me you're too old To have a little bit of fun sometimes Songs loud and dance awhile (Mister 10 PM bedtime) Baby, don't tell me you don't get why I need my friends and a bottle and a guy Forget the day, I love the night (Mister 10 PM bedtime)

Kez voicemail song! Oh, you want to apologize? Maybe you should think about who you’re fucking talking to. Maybe you should think just a little bit about who you used to be. Maybe you should think about all the time you spent at the clubs and in the back rooms and alleys. Maybe you should really fucking think about what you said, and what you said was wrong and bad and immature, and what you said would make people resent you and leave. (Which. Maybe that’s not what you meant, but maybe you should think about your words, too.) Maybe you should think about the friends you lost. Just maybe.

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too Oh, I'm getting older too Oh-oh, take my love, take it down Oh-oh, climb a mountain and turn around And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills Well, the landslide bring it down

And while Day thinks about that. Kez will think about this. Because as much as Kez does and did hate hearing it—especially like that!—Day wasn’t wrong. And Kez is older now—51, by the way, but a young 51—and if someone who loves her can’t see that she has changed, well. Maybe they haven’t, not enough. Day may have been an asshole, but Day’s not cruel. So it needed to be said. Which means Kez needs to take it seriously.

[hazard-and-friends]

here are my two guidelines for feeling overwhelmed by how much there is to work on with your dog and/or major life changes where you need to overhaul your dog's routine anyway.

these are for dogs over 6 months, baby puppies are another kettle of fish and have their own concerns.

needs, wants, and wishes. - your dog NEEDS some things. maybe daily. maybe weekly. but they're essential. without these activities, the dog's quality of life rapidly degrades and behavior problems appear/get worse. - your dog WANTS other things. these things make noticeable improvements in the dog's quality of life or continue to reduce the appearance of behavior problems. a NEED takes the dog from -10 to 0, a WANT brings them to +5. - your dog WISHES for different things. these things are grand! they're things we both love doing! but if the dog doesn't get them, that's okay. there's no degrading in the dog's quality of life. OR they're super high effort for minimal return. take the NEEDS and make sure there's time for all of them. prioritize getting those done. then add in as many WANTS as are sustainable. any extra energy can go to WISHES.

make a big ol' list of Things To Train in big categories. "nosework" is a big category, "fix the alert behavior" is too specific. big lumps. then pick three. this is because, especially with behavior cases where there's a MASSIVE list of concerns, too many options gives us decision fatigue, while too few leaves us feeling trapped and reluctant to engage at all. 3 choices is enough to have some variety if you're in a particular mood, while not being overwhelming. these 3 are: 1. the thing which has the biggest negative impact in the dog's long term quality of life. this may or may not be a thing that's a regular problem, but it IS ongoing and it IS of concern. eg: a dog who needs to get sedated for vet visits a) is not necessarily going to get the best vet care anyway and b) now the human is disincentivized to go to the vet promptly because it's a Whole Thing and expensive, so any little niggling problems are unlikely to be seen. 2. the thing which causes the most problems day-to-day. is it a welfare issue? maybe! maybe not. mostly it's just irritating you the owner and your problems are valid problems to work on. 3. something fun. it can't all be doom and gloom all the time. tricks? sports? go wild. this is because if all we do with our dogs is stressful important shit, we are going to start subconsciously avoiding training because ouch, it's hard. include something silly.

there you go. that's it. Hazard needs some physical exercise (he can get by on 20 min/day for about a week, but consistently needs more like 30 min/day + something genuinely exhausting once a week), needs some mental work, needs to work for his food, and (this one is mechanical, he vomits otherwise) needs to be fed 3 times a day. he wants even more physical exercise, wants a chew a couple times a week, wants social interaction with other dogs, wants to go to group classes, and wants to push his limits (ie learn new things). he wishes for off leash time, novel locations, and a second daily walk.

so when I'm putting together his routine, it has to have a daily walk, 3 different ways to get fed (puzzle feeder, kong, slow feeder), and at least one round of training. when I'm physically fit, I add one or two weekly classes and a weekly outing where he can socialize, go off leash, and/or explore new places. most days now we're doing 2-3 rounds of training.

our 3 training topics: 1. separation anxiety is having the biggest negative impact in his (and my) life. once we get that back to a 2 hr separation under any circumstances, this will change to car-related separations. 2. nails. does it cause problems daily? not really, but it bugs me. it's not a welfare concern really because he can file them down enough to not see major problems, but I am worried about the long term as he gets older. 3. nosework! fun for everyone.

what I love about this framework is it's flexible, allows for the human to be busy/stressed/disabled/etc, and centers both of you. not just the dog, not just you, but the pair. I ask my clients to train something, once a day, 5 minutes at most. once that habit is well established, then you can get cocky and try 2 sessions a day ;)

[regular-lord-reckoner]

well, what a week this has been !!

our downstairs ac unit and our water heater decided to tear up at the exact same time !!

so, i spent a good chunk of yesterday just cleaning out the space to get the water heater so my mom wouldn't have to do any of it later

that was one good thing about it being 59 degrees down there! the upstairs one still works just fine but like....hot air rises so i even double checked, but yeah, 70 degrees with the fan on and it didn't do a damn thing for the downstairs so

anyway

i got it all cleared out and a plumber is supposed to be on his way now. he had some emergency cases come up but said he still wanted to come check it out.

my dad had told my mom that the water heater was going to go soon, so we kinda figured. i have taken two...very cold showers this week but it's all good. made the pink stay in my hair longer so there's that

had therapy after that but it was a good session so that was nice. she said i was doing better than i was a year ago and i guess i can see that. even a little bit of progress is still progress and even if i'm the only one that sees it

mostly what i've been dealing with is just...exhaustion. with all this wacky thermostat shit there have been so many nights the aux heat has kicked on downstairs and made it insufferable upstairs so i wake up at like 4 am and just can't get back to sleep

i've been working 50 hour weeks pretty much nonstop for months now but i'm trying to at least not get so stressed during the work day, especially when doing chores eats up all my time like it did yesterday

i ended up having to do all the work i was supposed to do yesterday today which ended up taking all day but i just took my time for the most part and tried not to get too overwhelmed for no good reason

good news, though!! i got it all done. i've been trying to help out my mom more since this whole neck/arm situation started a few weeks ago. i hate that she's been in pain for so long and we still don't really have any concrete answers.

her pcp just wanted to talk about other shit besides this injury but she did at least order an mri which i'm going with her to get done tomorrow so hopefully that'll give us some answers or at least figure out what to do next.

she's been able to get some relief but not entirely and it's also been causing her to lose sleep so we're a pretty sad bunch by the end of every week the pair of us but we're pulling through !!

in the mean time, someone did come out earlier about the ac and i think it ended up being something about the compressor? they'll have to order a part so it'll be sometime next week but i think the weather is supposed to get warmer then so if it takes a minute i think we'll be okay because i can then at least run the cool air upstairs and it should be fine downstairs

mom's keeping warm by the fireplace and has a heated blanket as well and she said at night she can run a little heater in her room and it works just fine so we'll be okay with that and i can take more cold showers if need be especially if it does heat up that's no problem

wild how the other day it started out 70 damn degrees and humid as shit and then it rained and dropped down to 40 degrees immediately

can't wait to see what kinda interesting spring weather we're about to have. also can't believe it's already march holy shit

the way i'm perceiving time these days is just completely and utterly fucked so that seems especially unreal to me

alright, i think i've rambled enough for now and i've typed a lot today so i'm going to give my fingers a rest (lol) and just scroll for a while, turn this old brain off as best as i can even though it never goes off completely

hope it's a good weekend for you if you're reading this, even if you have to work or have some other bullshit you don't want to do. try to get some rest somewhere in there and so will i <3

ps: plumber just got here !!

[crystalelemental]

Cyber Sleuth! I haven't been talking about it much, but have been playing constantly. I'm around...45 hours in? Or so? And great news! I have only 37 mons left before the whole database is filled, and I think am very few away from having everything that doesn't require Hacker's Memory to complete!

"Wait, you're not at Hacker's Memory yet? How...how far in are you?" Chapter 13. ...look, I got distracted, Avalon server was a good place to level so that took like a full day but I needed to alter natures before I could get some others and Chapter 13 gave another good grinding spot and I could buy the patches so we're doing round 2 now. It's fine.

I mention all this for context and as a warning. Everything I say must be filtered through the lens of me objectively playing the game wrong.

See, Digimon feels very distinct from other monster catching games, in that the sense of collecting all of them seems to be outright the wrong thing to do. Sure, Pokemon has similar issues, but more because of version exclusives, obtuse evolution methods involving trades, and the horrors of actually catching a legendary Pokemon. Digimon approaches things a bit differently.

In part, this difference is due to two stats: CAM and ABI. CAMaradarie is a measure of friendship. You increase it by 1 every battle they frontline, and can feed them Digimeat which is exorbitantly expensive for the shit amount of CAM it provides. It caps at 100%, and some evolutions require varying amounts, usually 10% for low levels, 50% for mid-tiers, and 80% for later tiers, but 100% is needed for two monsters that fuse together.

ABIlity is a measure of...uh...evolution? It goes up when you evolve up or down, with more points being added every increment of 5 levels. ABI requires 20, 40, or 80 in most situations, though there's the rare occurrence of 100 and 120 for really high-tier stuff. Mostly your solution is to evolve up then back down repeatedly to generate ABI, because it is not getting where it needs to go off a straight shot.

As someone who has spend [REDACTED] hours grinding levels for evolutions, these two scores are the bane of my goddamned existence. ABI feels like it's the significantly harder number to work with when playing normally, because the values are incredibly small, and 80 is a tall fucking order when you've reached endgame and have like 37 points on your starter (thing that happened to my wife). When you grind, however, CAM is your mortal enemy. Man, I am not rotating around who's in the front, I have PlatinumNumemon x2 and Angewoman for we can maximize EXP yields while still having someone who can fight good. Everything else is in the back. CAM sucks ass, because it's stupid slow if you don't already have the numbers working in your favor. Needing two at maximum then fusing them together is extra frustrating.

But even worse than that is the stats demanded of some evolutions. To some degree, I understand this. There are clear evolutionary paths. Lunamon -> Lekismon -> Crescemon -> Dianamon is a very clear bunny promotion in the same vein as most other monster catching games. However, given the wild branching of Digimon evolution, you can jump ship to another form along the way, should your stats be good enough. At times, this results in just needing to level more, while at others, it is outright impossible to achieve without training. This is sometimes understandable, but without any means of showing what else evolves into the thing you're missing, it's basically impossible to tell what the intended path is at times. Like...I forget what it became, but I had this little egg with legs mon that, with enough SP and INT, could evolve into something I didn't have. Eggmon is not good at either thing, but it came close at level 99. The only means of getting to that evolution would be finding something else entirely that somehow loops to it, or forcing the issue with training.

Problem: training is incomprehensible to me. At best, I understand a few factors that influence how Digimon train. See, to train, you put up to 10 Digimon in your Digifarm, and set them to train. They are unusable during this time, though you can interrupt to swap them out.

Step 1: set the level of training. Basic takes TWO HOURS and doesn't give a ton, but it's neutral otherwise. Because the harder training also drops CAM. So god help you if you need both stats and CAM.

Step 2: Set your Farm Equipment. You can boost how much stats go up when you train by setting equipment that boosts a particular stat. This equipment is fucked expensive.

Step 3: The equipment is basically useless unless you're already training that stat. See, it ups numbers, but does not determine what everyone trains. No, they train potentially two stats at once. The first is whatever the stat of your Leader is. If the Leader has, say, Lively, great news! Egg digimon is training its SP! But this also means that even with HP boosting equipment, your Infermon you needed to get a little more HP out of won't gain fuckall unless your leader has Durable. But wait! There's another means of training a stat, and that is by your own nature! Yes, it will only train the stat you are already good in, and the stat of your designated leader! Nothing else. As far as I'm aware. Nevermind that my wife somehow managed to evenly train a ton of stats, I'm assuming that's because they were Searcher or Builder.

Step 4: come back after half an hour and losing all your CAM to find that your stats stopped increasing anyway. Yeah, turns out your bonus stats are capped based on your ABI. At 200 ABI, which is a fucking disgusting number by the way, you get the maximum of 150 bonus points. Less ABI, less bonus stats. So unless you also farmed the ABI, those bonus stats may well not even apply anyway!

If it's not clear, I despise this system. It's excessively irritating and creates multiple obtuse roadblocks to finishing the database. Systems pull back and forth at each other and nothing feels like it'll stay done when you have so many areas of need.

But this is where we have to talk about why I'm playing the game wrong. See, again, Digimon is not much of a monster catching game. It's a RPG with a massive rotating cast. Their intent, I assume, is to just use the ones you attach to and beeline toward higher stages. If something requires high ABI, well, that's for NG+. You can loop back around that way if you'd like. But you're not, I don't think, supposed to sit here grinding for ages to boost up your ABI. You're supposed to look at Lilithmon as something unattainable without NG+ to build up ABI and stats. Because yeah, Lilithmon is one of those with stats legitimately too high without training.

In essence, if I had been playing this game correctly, I would've taken my Palmon, Lunamon, Renamon, etc. and just pushed them up the evolutionary paths, accepting whatever I got along the way, and only doubling back if the next step up had an ABI block or I didn't like the look of that route. It's a little more streamlined that way, and you're less likely to encounter the three-hour progress annihilator I hit.

See, evolution and de-evolution sets your level to 1, and regardless of how much of anything you built up, without bonus stats, you are still very much level 1. For much of the game, being high tier enough offsets this. But eventually you'll hit a boss that can't be hurt badly enough and you learn that you apparently haven't saved in three goddamned hours and lost a ton of progress OOPSIE DOODLES

It's also...probably supposed to be a measure against what I do, which is try to get coverage. Like okay, Palmon's main line is all Plant stuff. But! If I go up MudFrigimon -> Meteormon, I can get a magic Ground type attack, and that's Coverage. Which...does not matter. As it turns out. The Data/Vaccine/Virus designation is significantly more important than the type matchup. There are typeless mons that aren't in that triangle, and I guess that's when the element comes into play, but it feels largely like a waste. I'm also just kinda unimpressed with buffing broadly? Like, it's fine, but is a 10% off your base stats. Which is not very much most of the time, as it turns out! So mostly, all you need is one good attack (and a lot of final forms have signature moves of a different type than their main, so you'll have two anyway), some good heals/revives, and...that's kinda it. So yes, I am willing to admit I wasted my time "optimizing" some favorites for combat.

On the plus side, the story's pretty good. Yuuko is my favorite, to no one's surprise. Really wound up liking both Arata and Nokia, too. Suedou is hilarious, kinda love this dude. And now that the Digimon are present, I'm kinda here for the conflict with the Royal Knights and everything they've got going on. I think that's a lot of fun, in the same way it was a lot of fun when Nexomon had things like the Tyrant Wars or the Abyssals.

I should get back to story, but...I gotta get these mons in the dex. I gotta. I'm so close, you don't understand. It's like right there, I gotta do it.

[lostacelonnie]

Truly. School festival? Wild i dont think ive ever been to one of those. Not sure mine ever had them but im glad you had so much fun! Its not completely finished yet i get that done next week but its very cool i love it. I have like. 12 piercings now with still more i want. They were a slippery slope from getting two to all the ones i have & want but i hope you're able to get some in the future. I think i like my eyebrow & lip piercings best. Thats a wild difference damn. Its been sunny mostly cool days right now but we keep going from warmer days to rain/snow warnings here. Oh hell yeah congrats! Strange but positive is the best combination to have honestly. Id also love to check out carnivale if that still happens in italy or mardi gras over here down in louisiana if i had time. Just love the idea of big celebration with cool stuff. Oh sparkle is quantum support with action advance & crit damage (?) boost. She's real good for seele or many teams really. I got archeron! Just need to get her light cone but damn was she cool in the 2.1 story. Not gonna spoil if you havent played through yet. Congrats on your archeron pulls! I think i might save for topaz now & get adventurine later? I do like how he plays but ill grab him later i don't think i have use for him yet. Swarm is so annoying i gave up on it for now terrible fuckin enemies. Mood what set are you usin on archeron? I love her talent too just. Insta enemy kill what a time saver. Really did give her a great & interesting kit. Hm ill have to continue & see how complex she is. Been busy with other games & like. Cosmodyssey & the bartender event in star rail. Oh thats fun i love it keep doin that. Ohh congrats on the writing energy!

yeah school festivals are also pretty rare over here but [thanks to a complete coincidence, i didnt even Know we had those] i ended up in a school that actually organizes one JSDKFJG. would tell you what it is but i feel doxxing my school on tumblr.com is not a terribly good idea. AND HEY THATS AWESOME!!! also yeah i heard it Really Is Like That with piercings shdjfg all my friends said so at least. tbh the only reason i dont have any yet is bc when i was the age when everyone gets their first one [around 8-9 among my peers] i was very physically active and didnt wanna deal with the whole healing process while trying to not get the shit beaten out of me in aikido. so thanks!!! i REAAALLLY wanna get snake bites theyre So cool. AND FOR REAL LIKE???? can the weather Please decide what it wants to do with its life. it was literally raining the whole day today and yesterday i cannot keep dealing with this. esp since today was my first day back to school after the easter break so waiting for my bus was just. miserable. And my classbestie didnt come to school today so i guess i cant have nice things. Oh Well. and for real for real im actually so glad my school doesnt seem to have a single normal person in it because everything is just so much more. chill. and the gossip is Insane i tell you. ever since this year i befriended a bunch of cool alt girls my life had been so much more interesting because they know like everything about everyone. and oh good luck with all that!! i totally agree, tho i definitely have to be mentally prepared for such occasions. Due To The Autism. but yeah theyre SO fun. and oh that sounds like. a very good kit actually. might get her in the future but ahh i still cant quite decide who im gonna pull for next..... only time can tell i suppose. CONGRATS ON GETTING MEI #3!!!!! i maxed out her talents already [thank god for how little time that calyx takes] so i just need to get relics for her now. Auugghhhg. but i decided im just gonna wait for the triple drop event to save myself some sanity and am currently focusing on ruan mei's talents rn since i run her with acheron <- guy who has no welt and his pela is lvl 50 not built. ah thats understandable!!! i was initially Completely uninterested in aventurine but used his trial as a march replacement in my clara team and it all fits together so nicely. speaking of which i literally got clara TWICE yesterday, one pull apart, without pity on standard. the universe loves me i guess. so shes e4 now. FOR FUCKING REAL but at least using acheron in sim uni lets one skip the non boss battles so thats a massive timesaver and also makes dealing with the swarm a lot less problematic. since you only have to deal with the big guy at the end and not trouble yourself with the occasional encounter on the way. seriously tho acheron is so cracked in sim uni. she let me get the achievement for finishing every battle with all allies at 100% hp. im currently using band of sizzling thunder + inert salsotto [LOL] on her!!! as i said. scuffed but does the job for now. but im gonna get her pioneer diver of dead waters + izumo gensei and takama divine realm since i heard thats whats best on her. and yeah her kit is super fun!! and have fun with that!! honestly fair, tho im just stuck in my holy trinity of hi3 - hsr - noita. also i love the bartender event a lot both story and gameplay wise. very very cool. and thankies!!!!!!!

[netflixonyourcouch]

Very interesting topic I stumbled upon and I'm ready to break it down. After staring at this statement and reading through all the replies, I realized I was going to need more than 240 characters to give my thoughts.

My first thought was that of cognitive dissonance. I mean, surely, this can't be all there is to the argument right? It seems too reductive. As if the only thing white publications do is revel in the ignorance of hip-hop is almost cartoonishly woke. It's like, sure, that's what you WANT them to do, in order to be able to call them out on a post.

In reality, what's most likely happening is something comparable to the "poptimism" that started to occur in the early 2010s, when hipster publications began to embrace pop as yet another extension of showing their intelligence and taste. This sort of "hip-hoptimism" is really no different, except, in this case it's a bunch of white people trying to enjoy the gritty street rap of like a Pooh Shiesty or a Key Glock or a Moneybagg Yo as if it's the pinnacle of hip-hop.

Now let me pause there. That's KIND of what the tweet is digging at, and it's a half-truth. This has been going on for years too. I remember growing up reading Pitchfork not understanding why Gucci Mane and Waka Flocka were getting higher scores than other more intelligent, more "serious" albums. And yes, it IS super pander-y of white people to do this. But it can't be the whole story, right?

I mean the OP is asserting that all white people wanna do is embrace ignorant hip-hop because they're the big bad racist boogeyman that wants to oppress black people by pretending ignorant hood street rap is high art. This is hugely false, because these are THE SAME!!! white people who ALSO want to give high-concept, highly artistic hip-hop albums like To Pimp a Butterfly a 10 and give every Billy Woods album nothing less than an 8. See they have TWO modes here. They overly praise rudimentary street rap then they overly praise "intelligent" higher level rap. It's just that mostly everything in between that doesn't get the attention it deserves.

I think it's more of a fair point, too, to just make the statement that white people don't have the proper knowledge and experience of black culture to be able to properly dissect black music. Now, even though I think this is true, I still think it's unfair. Why? Because I don't think there should be any fucking limitations on listening to and reviewing music. And the people who say shit like this, don't usually grasp music critique anyway. It's not uncommon to hear this kind of rhetoric from people who think all or many forms of music critique (such as ranking albums) are pointless.

But I'm black right? And you're not going to tell me that my enjoyment of another culture's music is dependent on me being from the same culture. That's just silly. One of my favorite bands of all time is The Knife. The Knife are from Sweden. By his logic, if you're not from Sweden you're not allowed to have an opinion I guess.

At the end of the day, we need a little more grace and nuance added to this discussion. If you're going to make these wild claims maybe make sure you're claims are airtight before presenting them as clear and obvious "facts" to the rest of us.

[s0dium]

DOUCHE BAG

Frat boy! Uzui Tengen x Reader

A/n: Hey everyone! Im back from my mental health break (*≧ω≦*) thank you everyone for your support and patience I cant tell you how much it means to me, anyways I hope you guys enjoy!

Synopsis: Uzui Tengen was a man of many things. It would be hard to find anyone on campus who hadn't heard of his name before, whether that be through his many sex-capdes or his infamously wild parties. Some describe him as eccentric, others (mostly girls) describe as irresistible. You? Well you on the other hand would describe him as nothing else then an utter, complete, douchebag.

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, teasing, dub-con, manipulation, fingering, squirting, use of pet names, belly bulge, cervix fucking, breeding kink, virgin!reader, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex

Word count: 5.6k

~

You rolled your eyes as you passed by another poor crying girl near the Alpha beta frat house. This had to be the 4th girl you've seen like that this week, and you didnt have to guess to know the reason behind her tears.

"God I hate him." You seethed, clenching your teeth after the last syllable.

"Who, Tengen?" Responded Mitsuri who was walking hand in hand with her boy friend Obani. They where the picture perfect couple on campus who were also one of your closest friends. Those two and the three that followed next to you: Kyojuro, Sanemi and Shinobu.

"Aw come on y/n he's a good guy at heart! He's just a bit... flamboyant!" Kyojuro says followed by a boisterous laugh.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "Your only saying that cause your his room mate and best friend Kyo, the same goes for all of you, I dont understand how you guys can like him!"

"Well he's not that different from Sanemi when it comes to girls and you’re still best friends with Sanemi." Pointed out Shinobu, gesturing to Sanemi on her left, electing a reaction.

"OI! THAT IS NOT TRUE, I LEAVE THEM ALL ON A GOOD NOTE UNLIKE MR.FLAMBOYENT!"

"Yeah and its not just how shitty he treats girls" You glance back to the sobbing girl you passed. "Its that whole 'holier than thou' act he has going on, like he's a fucking god that we should worship the group he walks on. Makes me wanna sock him in the face."  You make a fist with your hand and left hook the air.

"Sock who in the face?"

Oh god you knew that stupidly deep voice anywhere. You whipped around to find your self face to face with the very white haired man you were talking about; a shit eating grin spread across his infuriatingly handsome face.

"You couldnt be talking about me, could you?" Tengen voice dripped faux shock and you rolled your eyes.

"Well you know what they say, speak of the devil and he shall appear." You spat

"That must be why you love using that pretty mouth of yours to talk about me so much." Tengen lowered himself to close the provoking height difference between the the two of you, until your noses were inches away from touching. "Cause ya love having me around doncha"

In that moment you have to conjure up every ounce of self restraint to not spit in his face there and then, and luckily your friends get a hint at where this could possibly lead to and intervene before you could do anyway.

"Hey man, what's up?" Kyojuro holds out his hand to dap Uzui in which Sanemi and Obani follow up doing the same to greet their fellow frat mate.

"Well, as those three know, I'm holding a party tonight. Mad big, a couple other schools are gonna be coming over. Just wanted to confirm ya'll ladies would be there?"

"Yeah of course, If Obani and my friends are going I'll be there!" Mitsuri chirps, leaning into Obani's shoulder making him blush.

"Sure why not." Answers Shinobu, making you click your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

"You y/n?" Uzui says with a raised eyebrow and you cross your arms.

"And why would you want me to go?"

"Because you're like me sweetheart except wherever you go, guys follow you instead of girls. And the more people the better. Plus all your friends will be there"

You scoff in response, making Uzui chuckle.

"Great, I'll take that as a yes then, ill text you guys the details." He turns around to walk back to the Alpha beta frat house. "See you guys there!"

There was a silence as you all watched Tengen walk away before Mitsuri turns to look at you. “So are you going to go y/n? Come on it will be so much fun!”

“Yeah no way in hell."

~

You were a liar.

Though you swore to your self that there was no way in hell you were going to one of Tengen's stupid parties, here you were, dressed up in a white crop top and short pink skirt holding a red solo cup filled with god knows what concoction of alcohol, while ear blasting dub step played through out the house. It was absolutely packed, you dont think you've seen this many people all in one frat house before and you've been to your fair share of parties. You languidly looked around in a futile attempt to find your friends only to be met with the sight of two freshmen aggressively drying humping it on a couch and a group of football players and cheerleaders playing beer pong on the pool table.

"Might I also say you look beautiful tonight."

Oh right, for the past three minutes some dude from another school had been trying to get in your pants to which you had completely forgotten about. Uzui was right about this before, guys usually tend to follow you wherever you go. Except what set you apart from him was that you didn't abuse this, and most certainly not whore around.

You simply press your lips in a thin line, giving the 'white guy' smile, and nod at the creepy guy's compliment. You hadn't even been giving him any verbal answers to his rambling and he still couldn't take the hint.

Another minute passed of his incessant talking when your patience finally snapped and you open your mouth to go off on the guy before you cut off when you feel someone wrap their arm around you; the familiar strong scent of pine cologne and alcohol wafting through your nose.

"Hey you ok babe?"

Oh god

You glance to your side to see Uzui, wearing his signature zipper up purple fraternity sweater over a black t-shirt that outlined his muscles. His white hair was let down but you could faintly see the diamond earnings that dangled from his ears. The hand that rested on your shoulder was adorned in a multitude of different color rings and his fingernails were painted in neon colors.

Flashy as ever.

You clicked your tongue at the sound of the pet name and gritted your teeth, knowing that if you wanted to get out of this you’d have to play along.

“Oh hey, babe.” You punctuated the last word with your lips, making sure to soak it in as much faux affection as you could causing Tengen chuckle. “Yeah we were just finishing up talking. Isn’t that right uh, sorry what was your name again?” Your words dripped sweet innocence like honey, and to seal the deal you made sure to bat your eyelashes a couple times.

“Oh uh,” the guy stuttered, face now flushed red. “It doesn’t matter, I’ll just uh, see you around.”

You watched as he turned around and left, making sure he was out of sight until you rested your features into your signature bitch face and turned the look at the man next to you.

“Thanks for that but you can stop touching me now.” You attempt to wiggle out of his arms hold but it remains heavy on your shoulder.

“And why should I? I like being like this, I especially enjoyed your little show.” A grin spread on Uzuis face showing off his white teeth and the toothpick that dangled from them.

“Ever heard of consent? Also I can feel one of your girls giving me the death stare and I really  don’t feel like being sacrificed for your little cult today.”

“Alright, fair.”

You let out a small sigh of relief when you feel the weight release from your shoulder. God how much could one arm weigh?

You start to walk off when Uzui grabs your wrists and pulls you back.

“Where do you think your going?”

You immediately retract your arm from his hold and shoot a venomous glare.

“Out of here, that’s where. Why? Want me to stay?”

Uzui nods. “Yup.”

“And why should I and don’t give me that same crap before.”

He shrugs, removing the tooth pick between his lips to speak. “Maybe I just like having you around.”

The two of you stare at each other for a couple second before the realization hits you and you break out laughing.

“OH MY GOD, don’t tell me-” you cut your self off with a giggle “your actually trying to get in my pants!”

Uzui grins. “And what’s so funny about that? Maybe I am. And what would be so bad about sleeping with me?”

His response makes your laughter die and every reason why you hate the man in front of you comes barreling in all at once. You take a few steps toward him till the gap was closed and both of your faces are inches apart.

"Why? Because,” you speak lowly, making sure to punctuate every word with venom. “Im not gonna be one of your fuck girls tengen and I’m defiantly not something you can just conquer." You spat.

A hand clad with rings raises to your face but before you could pull away he grabs your chin, running a thumb over the skin while amused eyes stare down back at you.

"See this is what I like about you y/n." Tengens voice is soft, tones of fascination seeping into his words. "No one would say what you just said to me, no one. Only you."

You eventually pull away from his grasp and before you could go off on the man, you hear a familiar voice call your name from behind.

"HEY Y/N, TENGEN!" You turn around to see Mitsuri making her way through the crowd to you. "We've been looking for you guys, come-on we are playing a game upstairs."

Once again your unable to get a word in because you're already being dragged through the crowd, Mitsuri's unusually strong grip wrapped around your hand while tengen followed behind.

~

Once you got to one of the frat house bedrooms up stairs, you were immediately greeted with the sight of your friends and a few people from the neighboring school all sitting in a circle, chatting and drinking.

One of the students from the other school, Kizuki college, whose name you remembered to be Douma, was relentlessly trying to start a conversation with an unassuming Shinobu to no avail. Next to them Kyojuro was busy having an arm wrestle with the guy known as Akaza and Sanemi seemed to be having a good time talking to one of the kids who transferred from your school to Kizuki named Kaigaku.

You spotted an empty seat on the floor between Obani and a guy who seemed uninterested in the activity going on and plopped down next to him. Mitsuri sat next to you in Obani's lap and Tengen situated himself across, his red violet eyes remaining on you.

In an attempt to distract yourself from the piercing gaze set upon you, you turned to the guy next to you who was sipping from a can of beer.

"Hey, your from Kizuki college right? My name is y/n by the way, what's yours?"

It took a second for the guy to realize that you were talking to him, but when he did he quickly turned around and widened his eyes, like he was surprised you were even looking at him.

"Oh uh" his voice was raspy and you got a better look at him now that he was facing you.

Damn, he's cute.

"I'm Gyutaro, I'm a junior at Kizuki, yeah."

You nodded. "You dont seem like this is the place you wanna be in most right now am I right?"

Gyutaro scoffed. "Yeah is it that obvious?"

"No I completely feel you, ive tried to escape like five times and my friends keep dragging me back." You reached for a un opened beer can on the floor and held it up to Gyutaro. "Here's to not wanting to be here but not having a choice I guess."

This elected a quirky smile from the man in front of you and Gyutaro clinked his beer can with yours.

"Yeah, to what ever the fuck you just said."

You both laugh and take a swig of the beer but a booming voice makes you choke on the liquid and throw you into a coughing fit.

"ALRIGHTY THEN, LET'S GET STARTED." Kyojuro stood up and clapped his hands together, drawing everyones attention. "What better way to liven up the party then a game of truth or dare am I right?"

"I can think of a million other things." Whispered Gyutaro into your ear making you stiffle a giggle. You look up to avert your attention back to Kyojuro but you catch the eyes of Tengen as you do so. Big mistake. His gaze was piercing, red-violet eyes burrowed into you accompanied by an unreadable face. Was he... mad at something?

"Now you have the right to decline the dare or truth, but for that you'll have to chug for 7 seconds this bottle of fire ball." Sanemi adds on, holding up a bottle of orange whisky.

A/n: Please dont do this, and if you do, fire ball is an awful choice, choose Pink Whitney instead. If your going to drink irresponsibly at least drink good stuff.

You sigh.

Oh god what have I gotten myself into

"Whose gonna go first?" Mitsuri chirps.

"Me." Douma raises his hand and turns to Shinobu who immediately rolls her eyes. "Truth or dare m'lady."

Shinobu thinks for a bit before responding. "Dare."

"I dare you to go on a date with me after this."

Doumas words elicit a slew of 'oooohs' from everyone and a couple howls of laughter.

Shinobu stares at douma for a few seconds before throwing her hands up in defeat. "For fucks sake, FINE. Only because I have a test tomorrow and I cant have a hang over ."

It goes on like this for a couple minutes, only sanemi and akaza taking swigs of the fire ball, until it's finally Tengens turn.

"Well then," Tengen slightly turns to face you, the amused smile on his face telling you what's about to happens. "Y/n." At the sound of your name you immediately roll your eyes. "Truth or dare."

You think for a second, before concluding that truth would be the safest bet to avoid Tengens antics.

"Truth."

"Are you a virgin?"

You blink a few times, letting the question settle in. How could he know? Only your closest friends, Shinobu and Mitsuri could know and they wouldn't tell anyone. You could lie but then he would ask who you slept with. There was also the option of telling him the truth and giving him the gratification and perhaps a new way to make fun of you. Yeah, no way. It seemed like the only option was to drink the fire ball, but that was basically saying that you were a virgin. But it was your only option without actually admitting it.

You scowl at Tengen and hold out your hand to Sanemi, who handed you the drink. When you put the bottle rim to your lips you were immediately reminded just how much you hated the spicy cinnamon taste to the alcohol but nevertheless proceeded to let the liquid pass your lips.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7!" The room chanted as you took the tinnest gulps possible. When the time was up, you felt your throat burn from the cinnamon whisky and a warmth settle in your stomach.

"Ok, my turn." You seethed, wiping off the remains of liquid from your lips. "Tengen, Truth of dare."

"Hmmm, I'll go with dare."

You smiled sweetly. "Text at least two of the girls you've made cry that your sorry."

Instead of a look of shock and embarrassment, he simply grinned and grabbed the whisky. Once he was done, he licked his lips and set down the bottle. "Looks like its me again, truth or dare y/n"

"Dare."

"I dare you to admit i'm actually great and you love me."

You snatched the bottle and immediately down the liquid, the room this time remaining quiet as you did so. At this point, the burn in your throat was starting to feel good, adding fuel to the fire.

"Truth or dare Tengen"

"Dare"

"Bad choice I would've gone with truth. Write a post that your dick is actually small."

Tengen shrugs and takes a large gulp from the bottle. "Truth or dare."

You dont think about your answer, the buzzing in your head from the alcohol doesn't let you.

"Dare."

"Kiss me."

You dont know what makes you begin to crawl over to Tengen, most likely the substantial amount of alcohol coursing through your veins. Maybe it was also because you weren't going to wimp out of a challenge and for some reason you thought this was the best way to get back at him. But the next thing you know your in his lap, grabbing his stupidly beautiful face in your hands and bringing it to you till your lips matched with each other.

His first taste of you is hungry, lips relentlessly engulfing each other and tongues clashing, fighting for dominance that Tengen eventually wins. Spit smears on either side of your lips from the messiness and a large hand tangles itself in your hair to bring you closer, so he can taste more of you. The kiss broke with a sinful sound, a wet pop from between your lips and Tengens is grinning while your left dazed,  breaths heavy and chests rising and falling after it.

"Well, that was unexpected." Shinobi says.

Her voice snaps you out of your Tengen/alcohol induced daze and you immediately become flushed red. Sure you've had make out sessions before but never front of all of your friends and people you didn't know. But before you can crawl out of his lap, Tengen is picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder with ease like a sack of flour.

"Sorry every one but," Tengen lands his hand on your ass, surprising you with a yelp. "This little lady and I have business to attend to. Enjoy the party."

"Wha- No! What do you think you're doing!" You protest and try to wriggle out of his hold only to be met with a harsh slap on your ass, immediately shutting you up and he carries you out.

"Go get it I guess bestie!" Mitsuri yells to you, making your face go red.

Wait was he.... were you two gonna....?

Your questions are answered when Tengen opens the door to his room, throwing you on the bed and crawling on top of you. Before you can get a word in, he's once again engulfing your lips with his and pulling  you into a feverish kiss in which the two of you couldn't seem to get enough of each other. The moment one pulls away to breath, the other is immediately searching for their lips again; intertwining tongues and teeth clashing together recklessly.

Your hot, everything is hot, your body is burning up by the second and there's a sickly sweet feeling in your stomach that keeps on expanding as time passes.

You whine into his mouth when you feel a hand slip under your pink skirt and lightly trace the outline of your slit with his index finger. Your painfully wet;   your arousal had made a large spot on your underwear translucent.

"Want me to make you feel good baby?" Tengen speaks slowly, breath on your neck and voice in your ear making you shiver. You bite your lip and nod, like any words that came from you would ruin it.

"Good. I'm not gonna lie, I want to see you beg for it but ill be nice since its your first time, and there's always next time."

He's using his thumb to move your frilly white underwear to the side now, moving up and down your pussy to collect your juices and coat his fingers with the sticky lube,

"W-who say t-theres going t-to be a next time?" Your voice comes out more shaky than you expect, making Tengen chuckle.

"Oh trust me darling," He leans in so his mouth is right against your ear, making you pussy squeeze around nothing "There's always going to be a next time."

Its then he suddenly bullies a thick finger in you down to the knuckle, making you moan loudly and clamp down on the sudden intrusion. Your hands immediately fly up to find purchase into his muscular forearms and dig crescent shape nail marks into the skin.

"Shit your fucking tight." Tengen groaned under his breath, knowing full well that the squeeze around his cock would feel euphoric. The first curl of his finger up to hit your gpsot completely knocks the wind out of you. It was a type of pleasure you've never felt before, something that couldnt be achieved with your own fingers or a dildo, the type the only came from another hot blooded human being.

More. I need more.

You begin to grind on his hand to chase after the feeling, further encouraging the relentless prodding of his fingers. Tengen on the other hand was mesmerized, his eyes glued on the way your cunt sucked him in; how his digits glided out of you only to be pulled right back in and massage circles on your gspot. His eyes glimmer when a brilliant idea pops into his head, and he dives down to your heat to latch his lips onto your clit.

You immediately jolt from the sensation of Tengens warm mouth on your pearl, and the added curling and uncurling of his fingers inside of you made your thighs shake.

"Ten! Ahhhh..! I..I can't handle this.." You sobbed while you grabbed his head, unconsciously pushing his mouth deeper to your heat - in which he obediently complied and sucked on the budding clit.

The pleasure was starting to get intense, too intense. There was a pressure in you that exponentially built with every second, a new type of sensation and you didnt know what was at the end of it.

"Ten I dont-" You babble, all words now lost too you since there seemed to be nothing to describe what you where feeling.

"S-stop m'feels weird" Your thighs where starting to shake as tendrils of pleasure shot up your body too your core in thousands of flesh arrows. You try to focus on something other then the coil of heavenly heat pooling in your stomach, something other then the white haired man between your legs but it was impossible.

You dont even realize another finger had slipped into you until he is on the third digit. The incredible sickening burn of the stretch makes your eyes widen and just when your about to say something his fingers sharply curl to your belly button. Seizing up as if you’d been electrocuted, your body went stiff as a board and you went into lock jaw, tongue lolling out onto your cheek. Your entire frame shook with the immense pleasure he was inflicting on your defenseless cunt, weakening you so much that Tengen had to secure a strong hand on your hip to keep you from squirming so much.

“O-o-o-oh g-g-god right t-thereee m’right thereee” Your words come out as slurs and suddenly you cant think anymore. You have never wanted to cum so bad in your life, your desperate for release like a man searching for water in a desert.

“Shit I fucking own you dont I,”  Tengen mumbles. And as if on command, all feelings come to a heighten cresendo; explosions of euphoria clouding your brain causing your toes to curl from pleasure and body to shake like a leaf.

It takes a couple seconds after you calmed down to realize you squirted all over Tengens face and all blood rushes to your face turning you a bright red.

“Oh my god in so sorry I didn’t-”

Your voice dies out as you watch Tengen pull off his black shirt, revealing his extremely built body and toned muscles, to wipe the liquid off his face.

If you weren’t embarrassed before you were practically a tomato now.

“What? Like what you see?” Tengen speaks through a grin. You want so badly to tell him otherwise, to preserve your wavering ego but if you did it would all be lies. Instead you opt to get him even and proceed to take off your pink sweater, unbuckling your bra and letting your plush breasts fall out.

“What like what yo- oh~” you moan out. Tengen doesn’t let you get to the last consonant, his eager, hot mouth enveloping one of your nipples and sucking. His tongue flattens, rolling your peak and swirling around your areola, fast and rough until you’re whining. You don’t even notice that he’s pulling down his pants until he pulls away from your abused skin and your met with the sight of his length.

You unconsciously buck your hips up at the sight of it, practically humping the air, and Tengen has to secure your hips down to the bed to prevent you from hurting you self. You could hear your heart in your ears and adrenaline coursed through your veins at rocket fire speed. The need in between your legs was too much, it was clouding your head and twisting your stomach so tight you almost felt sick. You jolt when his fat tip bumps into your clit; collecting your juices before pressing against your quivering hole.

“Please jus-”

Your cut off by the feeling of his length spreading your so helplessly wide and his tip smushing against something which must be your cervix you think. It’s painful, but in the pain is so much pleasure. You squeeze around him, you body trying to push out the foreign intrusion but at the same time bring him in further, if that was ever possible. Your skin jumped with sentivity, even the air against you made you shiver, and you let out a long whine when a large hand settles over the large bump in your stomach and starts to rub soothing circles.

“Shhhhh, ya too tight baby, gotta relax.”

It was a soothing gesture in spite of everything going around you, one that made your heart swell and eyes water. And he was right, you did need to relax, your chest was rising and falling faster then it should be and you pussy held him in a vice grip that made it impossible for him to move. A couple second flew by as you calmed your self and did your best to relax, and then a couple more. Until one though flooded your brain.

Move.

You needed him to move, you needed the friction against your walls, his tip press against that special spot in you again in again. But why wasn’t he moving?

“Ten?” You whimper, causing him to grin and lower him self down.

“Want me to move dont you?” He slides his thumb along your bottom lip, dipping in your mouth to press on your tongue. “Then be my girl friend.”

Your eyes go wide at the suggestion and he licks his teeth.

“Wha-” You cut your self off with a scream when he teasingly thrusts into you, and god, it feels amazing. Tears dot your water line and trickle pass the side of your eyes.

“You know we’d be so good together, come one just say yes.”

Tengens words drip sweetness like honey, and it’s making your brain turn to mush. You desperately try to move your hips for any kind of friction but he holds you still, preventing you from chasing your pleasure.

“I won’t be with anyone else other then you and I’ll make you feel like this every day sweet heart, and if you don’t love me now I’ll teach you I promise baby.”

The promise of pleasure and affection makes your mind fold and throw all ego aside, and you cave; utterly and completely.

“YES! YES JUST PLEASE FUCK ME TEN PLEASE.” You wail, tears now streaming down your face, bottom lip trembling and eyes filled with complete submission.

“Atta girl.” He says through a smile.

You practically faint when he first thrusts into you with earnest. It euphoric; the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls everytime he backed his hips up. His cock pulsed inside of your silky walls, stretching you to the fullest capacity as he bottomed out again and again. Your body adjusted rather quickly to him, Tengen coaxing you to relax as his tongue flattened against your left nipple, his hand occupying the one left untouched.

His thrusts started out shallow and slow, testing the waters for how much he could get away with. What your limits were, and if you could fully take him for what he wanted. But that quickly changed to harsher thrusts, until he's using you like his personal cock sleeve, shaping your insides and bruising your cervix until your entire body jolts with sensitivity.

Tengens eyes caught how good you take him - the fat of his head have a hard time popping out with how greedy your cunny is being. He groans at how hot you feel inside, god his fist felt nothing like the real thing.

"Huuuh.... s'good..." Your words string out on your lips, boarder line incoherent from how good your being fucked. The sounds that echoed throuhout the room where down right sinful; the quick wet pap, pap, pap, of his hips against yours drowning out both of your moans.

Like there was nothing else to do in the moment, you clamor onto him, wrapping your shaking arms around his back and bringing him close.

"W-wanna be close." You mumble, bring your face to the crook of his neck and breathing his scent in, because it was the type of scent that you could bury your nose into again and again.

He’s been pressing kisses and biting into your shoulder, but you don’t miss the way he groans at your words. He can’t even keep up the same flirty attitude he’s had this entire time as he stutters a “s-sweetheart.”

The heat in your stomach is coming to a crescendo, you cant take it anymore, its overtaking you, driving you over the edge so fast that you can’t put a stop on it, hardly give him a warning. Your pussy tightens so hard around Tengens cock that he almost has to stop his thrusts, and you open your mouth to scream but nothing comes out, creaming with his cock buried into you.

Tengen didn’t stop, kept fucking you through your orgasm and that telling you there was more to come. You whined, keened, twisted on the bed as you received no room to breathe. That was hard - breathing. It felt like your body was a massive furnace that only offered whimpers and moans which took up all your oxygen. It was all too much for your dumb little mind to handle, too overwhelming to bear. It was even tougher to keep them at bay when all of a sudden Tenegn grabs the plump underside of either thigh and lifts them up, pressing them to your chest and effectively folding you in half.

"O-oh god!" You squeal. The new position not only has every part of you exposed to Tengens piercing gaze but also allowed his cock to hit even deeper inside of you.

"Come on baby, I know you can come again for me, right? Come on." He encourages, voice low. The sheer collision of his dick hitting your cervix is enough to make your brain go numb from the pleasure, and as if he words where magic, you feel your self falling toward the edge faster then you can put a stop to it. Your cunt flutters and you feel your self being sent to a euphoric grave, and god does it feel good, its like your brain in floating in pure ecstasy; every nerve in your body exploding and imploding all at once with pleasure.

"Gonna cum in you baby, oh god-" Tengens thrusts became sloppy, his hips stuttering before he stilled his hips flush against you. "Sh-Shit, shit, fuuuuck~" He chuckles into your ear, choking over his words as his hips sputter inside of you, hot cum fills you as much as you can hold inside of your stuffed cunny.

"Wa-wait! N-not ins-si-" You squeal but cut your self off when you feel something deliciously warm enter your battered pussy. You babbled and squirmed as it built and built and built, like there was a dam of his seed spurting into you. You unintentionally, probably instinctually, squeezed around him, drawing more out and he whined and murmured his praise. "Good girl, get as much as you can." He petted circles over your stomach, over the bulge of where his cock and cum lay. "Such a pretty tummy...." You threw your face into your arms and shook.

The two of you stayed like that for a while--Tengen keeping you plugged with his cock while you both watched your breaths; listening to the party die down on the outside and occasionally leaning in for a messy kiss.

"So...." You say, deciding to break the silence. "Relationship huh?"

Your awkwardness causes him to chuckle, and he moves to push a stray piece of hair behind your ear; causing you to lean into his touch.

"Thats right baby."

"God im never gonna hear the end of it from mitsuri."

[centuriantalevevo]

Eyo so-

Since I have ADHD and Mysta has ADHD it's self projecting time!!!

Mysta Rias and Reader with ADHD

Mysta wasn't surprised when you told him- actually the entirety of Luxiem- Shoto already knew.

Mysta just had a feeling... Something was definitely off about you unlike the others- like him!

Everyone got an answer one way while you got the same answer doing it a whole different way- like how did you even get that?! Only Mysta can truly understand that feeling-

He wasn't too good at catching himself when he went of track but he was good at catching you straying away from the original subject.

It's why he felt so comfortable just talking around you. With a lot of people, I always tried to stay overly conscious about what he was saying, he didn't wanna stray away into 5 subjects at once and throw everyone off... that happened a lot. No one was able to keep up- but with you, he could go through 5 subjects in 1 minute and you could keep up the ENTIRE time, even going ahead of him.

It mostly was brought up when Luca asked.

"Oh, ya! I have ADHD!"

"Oh shit, really? Mysta does too I think," Vox comments, "For some reason I had a hunch you were neurodivergent in some way..." Mysta said

But with that came the struggles. But struggles both of you could relate to, so it didn't feel as lonely.

Both of you had a tendency to talk over others on accident. The impulsivity that comes with ADHD causes this. Yeah, yeah, neurotypical people do this too, but not nearly as much. For ADHD, it can affect personal relationships, just like any other symptom of ADHD.

Both of you have a small ass attention span, and you commend Mysta for people able to play the whole game of The Quarry, or Minecraft for even 5 minutes on his own. You loved games with puzzles and stuff, like Madison since it was horror... but you had a small amount of patience and even less for focus so for finding the damn green safe passcode, you opted for looking it up on Google over actually finding it-

You and Mysta help each other with getting work done- usually it seems like Mysta's the one doing the reminding. Hell sometimes he'll stream while you're in VC with him since you were doing something like homework. If he heard what sounded like you going off track, he was instantly nudging you back to your work until you got it done. You did the same for him. If he had some shit to do but was procrastinating, you'd push him back on track.

Hyperactive episodes are wild when you got 2 people with ADHD in the room-

You two will rage at the faking disorder cringe compilations for HOURS... you two will MALD over people who fake ADHD so much Jesus christ-

"NO- IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS ADHD I'M MORE THAN 110% SURE SHE WON'T GET HYPER ON COFFEE!!" "Yeah!!"

"THAT'S WHY SHIT LIKE ADDERALL AND VYVANSE CALM US DOWN BUT MAKES ANYONE WHO DOESNT HAVE ADHD HYper- I physically can not get a sugar rush- I've never had a sugar rush in my life!!" "Exactly! Caffeine doesn't do shit to us... like if she were to have something similar to ADHD then you mean ADD... because people with ADD get hyper from shit like Adderall. It has the opposite affect on people without ADHD!" "That's why it's so addicting too!"

Mysta would gladly listen to you ramble about your hyperfixations, obviously jumping in with a comment here or there.

You'd do the same, and if you both shared the same hyperfixation at that moment? Oh boy... silence doesn't exist-

You're both patient with each other.

You know you have to get work done but Mysta won't shut the fuck up about something, you get his attention and gently remind him you need to get something done before the hyperfocus wears off- he understands and fucks off to do something else for a little bit until you're done. If you're rambling off about whatever the fuck, the does the same.

"I'm sorry but I gotta get this done! I'll talk to you and listen in a little okay? I love you!~"

But oh jesus christ what is a clean room honestly-

Organization? What??

Organizer? I hardly even know 'er-

Both of your rooms are a death trap.

Who's is worse? We don't know. We can't tell. We're too afraid to get close to either person's room door.

But sometimes you band together with that hyperfocus mentality currently affecting you and get y'all's rooms cleaned one by one...

But it ain't staying like that for long...

It's fucked up in a week max

Usually in 2 days it's back to the way it was. Honestly what was the point? We don't know- but "Hey! I found my Miku pop figure I was looking for!!"

With impulsivity comes great spending habits lmao-

Between the two you MIGHT be better-

If you exclude thr 100 dollars you spent using Christmas to get Xiao when you lost his 50/50 to Diluc

But you are bad about spending small amounts of money on the stupidest shut you find online or in somewhere like Walmart or Target-

Only like 4 dollars but still-

You when to Walmart with the intent on getting groceries but came back with toys that you for distracted by, 2 gallons of Milo's Sweet Tea (or unsweetened if you're uncultured- fuck unsweet tea, this post was made by the sweet tea gang-), candy, some random ass kids art supplies, the kids gummy vitamins, and more random candy you got at the check out counter... as well as McDonald's.

"(Y/n) that's... that's not groceries.." "technically it IS groceries!-" "not the ones we needed though! You can nOT be trusted!" "YoU CAN'T EITHER-"

Y'all spent the next like 3 hours playing with Legos and shit bro-

Mysta on his way to try and clean his room but ended up finding some old pictures and stuff he forgot about.. you walked in and ended up joining him.

Please anything but the actual task I have to do-

When you have conversations and go from topic A to topic 10 in 5 minutes people ask how and then proceed to be amazed at how you do mental gymnastics all the way from how the conversation began to how it finished flawlessly and Mysta's just there like "yep... sounds about right"

How do you even remember what our conversation what about?!-

.... ssshhhh... don't question the ways of the neurodivergents...

ADHD isn't fun, but it can be more bearable when someone who can relate is around to talk about it and you help each other through it.

[muselin]

TXT Soobin NSFW alphabet

Kinktober 2021 Day 6 🍁🎃

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Practical with his aftercare. He'll get you water, change the sheets if need be. He'll give you a sweet kiss goodnight but don't expect pillow talk, he's out like a light after that.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself his shoulders. On his partner - total boob/chest man. If he could live with your nipples in his mouth 24 hours a day, he totally would. He might do this even in a nonsexual way, he's addicted.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He's not very messy about it but he loves to cum inside you. Someone say breeding kink? Soobin's got you. In fact if he doesn't cum inside you in some way, in your pussy, mouth or ass, it's a waste to him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

His dirty secret is that he has far more dirty fantasies than he wants people to think. He's a closeted perv and a freak and his pure image is nothing but a burden a lot of the time.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has a good amount of experience for his age. 2-3 partners. Definitely knows his way around the bedroom and is equally happy with someone less or more experienced than him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary with variations. Loves being in control and loves being able to see your boobs/chest as he's railing you, and having free access to squeeze, to tweak your nipples or bend down and suck on them as he goes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He can be a little goofy during foreplay but once you start moaning seriously, it's on. He doesn't like to break the spell, he keeps it up with dirty talking.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Trims once in a while but usually lets it be.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Soobin has a tight grasp of his emotions and he's used to being in charge. Sex is sex to him and he doesn't always have an easy time being open and vulnerable during it, he usually shows love in other ways outside the bedroom. He loves it when his partner is intimate and comfortable with him and he tries to reciprocate but it's just one of those things that doesn't come very naturally to him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Man has needs even if you're not around and is not shy one bit. 3-4 times a week.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Light torture. You pissed him off at lunch? Well at dinner you are sitting with a vibrator in you and he's got the remote. You're doing overtime at home? You're doing it topless with clips on your nipples and he's got the chain attached to them. Expect no mercy from this man.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Mostly at home, but his favourite place is those forgotten storage closets around Music Bank. Yep. Soobin's worked there long enough to know when he can sneak you in, where no one uses the rooms, where to get the keys, and when there's breaks in the program and no one would miss him. He likes a safe risk, so to say, and the small possibility of someone looking for him and knocking on the door of the room where you're fucking is very exciting for him. Best quickies of your life.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Your confidence at first, and then shattering it by wrecking you in bed. Soobin likes a genuinely confident partner as this tells him they can handle him being in charge without it causing any real issues. It's a big turn on for him that you think you're in charge at first because he gets to prove you wrong and watch you realise that he OWNS you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Soobin doesn't like to share. He has a jealous streak and would not initially agree to any partner swapping, threesomes or similar. If you manage to get him to do it at all, it would take a whole lot.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves when you give him head. Loves to guide you through it, hands in your hair, pushing your head further to make you take more or him. Not averse to making you choke on his cock either. He likes to give head too and he's good at it but tends to reserve it as a reward.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and often rough. Soobin doesn't come to mess around. If your legs are not shaking by the time he's done with you then he's going again.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Loves them. Doing it in public is a turn on for him and quickies are usually the way to go there. Oftentimes there's a competition of who can cum first.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Soobin is capable of leaning into the BDSM side a little and will try a lot of things as long as you're into it and he's in charge. He doesn't take big risks so he's not too bothered if something doesn't work out because there are always other things to try.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Two rounds at a stretch. Soobin has good control of himself and will last a long time the first round, but going hard as he does, it takes it out of him so the second round is a push.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Pretty big collection and varied - dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, nipple clamps and chains, a flogger or three. Mostly used on you but if he's feeling extra horny and generous he might make use of them on himself as well and let you watch.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Loves to tease and torture. No reservations, except it doesn't last too long because what he actually wants to see is you getting wrecked and he'll up in the intensity quickly to achieve that.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Soobin is quiet but that doesn't mean he's not expressive. He will usually hum blisfully when he's feeling good, some gruff moans and a hiss of pleasure here and there. His face will definitely show you if he's having a good time.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Cockwarming. If he's tired but still being a 6'1" little shit and wants to torture you, you'll have your evening TV time with his cock inside you while he sits comfortably watching his show. And when you're mewling and begging him to move and just do something, he'll finally turn the TV off.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Definitely doesn't disappoint. Boi is fucking tall and his cock is proportionate in that way. 6"-6.5", slightly on the thinner side.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

A little above average. Up for it most days of the week.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quickly, after he's made sure you're okay and the bed is in a usable condition.

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it ��� ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[bookwyrminspiration]

Imagine how many children might have died because of the council banishing them. They could easily starve to death, considering all thy get at exillium is one almost rotten fruit, they could freeze to death, get who knows how many sicknesses, injure themselves too badly, get attacked by wild animals, etc. Not everyone can hang with the gnomes like the songs did. And what kind of life do the survivers get to lead? They're alone for literal eternity. Fuck the council for doing this to kids.

yes! Exillium is so fucked up in so many ways and we only see the barest effects it has because Sophie is there for such a short amount of time. For the story, it mostly served as motivation for her, a concrete and visual way for her to understand the flaws in this supposed perfect world. It's something known she can reference and tell people (like the council) "hey! this is fucked up! something needs to change!" and give reasoning behind her actions.

But a lot of the horrors of Exillium show themselves when you think through the implications of what it actually means, what it actually does to kids. Exillium is a place of "alternate learning" or however Oralie phrased it, but it strayed very far from that and became a place for the council to send kids--kids, because this is a school--that didn't perform up to par for their species, so they got rid of them. I'm convinced that the reason they created Exillium was not as a place of alternate learning, but instead to serve a purpose like the somnatorium. With the somnatorium, the council escapes the guilt of killing people for their crimes because they're technically still alive. With Exillium, they escape the guilt of directly killing kids by providing a "lunch" and a place to be for the day, somewhere to check in where they're kind of accounted for.

However, like you said, there is a whole load of shit that can happen to these kids because they've been banished. They are provided a single piece of fruit the entire day. Everything else they eat they have to find themselves, and I'm betting that none of these kids know how to forage or what's edible. They're not provided shelter, as Exillium is a school they just come to for the day. Actually, there's a detail on that that's always amazed me with how awful it could go. The coaches give the waywards a temporary leaping crystal bead at the end of every day, but when Sophie did so it was phrased like it was a choice, like she had to decide to come back and it wasn't mandatory. Which means that...couldn't someone just decide not to come? they just don't take a bead and then they're gone. yes, Exillium requires like a home address of some kind so they know where you're going, but if you just left that place...they'd have no way of finding you I don't think. it is so easy to loose people there!!

they are literally living in the wilderness just by themselves. And!! Tam and Linh were an exception to a lot of this! They had each other, so there were two of them and someone else to rely on. They lived near gnomes who took care of them and would provide other meals. They had a shelter. They had so many things that they found and lucked into! Not everyone gets that.

Exillium is not set up in a way to support life. Banishment is an eternal punishment for children that they are lucky to survive. They're just set out of the way where the council can't see them so they can tell themselves they solved a problem. Realistically? So many deaths would happen at Exillium, so. many. Like you said, starvation and diseases and being exposed to the elements and everything would get them. On top of that! I think a lot of those children had given up on themselves. They were isolated from their peers and threatened on a regular basis, which doesn't foster a will to live in the slightest. There is nothing good coming for them, nothing to hold out for. If they survive Exillium, they get a live alone in the wilderness because Elven society doesn't want them. Perhaps some of them could make it to human cities and find a place there, but that isn't painted as an option when the place is talked about.

It's just!! A place they're sent to die so the responsibility of their deaths isn't on the council's hands! Except it is, they just don't recognize that. it is their decisions that put them their and their rule and choices that affect how Exillium runs. But in their minds they're not the ones to kill the kids, it was the kids faults for not being suitable for society.

Exillium is so messed up on so many levels and we barely even scratch the surface of it during Sophie's brief time as a wayward.

There's a whole other element of it too where like...it's well know that Exillium is bad. People don't want to go there, don't want to be banished, because they know it's bad. And yet no one does or says anything about it. In the first book Marella and Grady were warning here about it like "let's just say this is a place you don't want to end up" as if there aren't actual children there as they speak living the hell they don't want her to experience.

I personally think Linh and Tam should have a personal arc where they fight for the rights of the kids still in Exillium and shame the council into eradicating it, forcing them to accept the consequences of their actions. it's written like this unfortunate part of their past that they've now escaped from...but I don't think that's something you can just leave behind. There are so many kids there and I want them to fight for those kids. Personally, I think it would be so satisfying, but that may just be me.