#they can be really scary and gross and the topic should be taken seriously

[aeb-art]

so as you can see, this started off silly (and suggestive but shhh) and then…

y'know that hopelessness when all you can do to help is just… be there? yea

geo belongs to @8um8le

[kates-dump]

My experience with Analog Horror/ARGs and why you should check them out

Marble Hornets: the classic, and a big favorite of mine for obvious reasons. I cannot stress enough how good and spooky that series is, and the ToTheArk videos gave me nightmares, love it! <3

If you're into Slenderman stories, you should definitely check it out. The acting is very well done and the story is awesome overall :)

The Sun Vanished: the ARG that started my interest for ARGs, and especially enigmas/internet puzzles. Unfortunately I was not smart enough to figure the stuff out by myself, so I just watched explanations on it. Highly recommended if you like post-apocalyptic settings and subtle horror.

The Mandela Catalogue: possibly the series that brought back my interest for these things. I have only watched the first two seasons of it, as I sadly lost interest after a while, but from what I have watched, I would recommend it to those of you who like horror with religious themes (which is a big thing for me) and most importantly, trust issues. Do keep in mind this series deals with more serious and dark topics, though you have probably heard it already.

Local58: the analog horror of all analog horrors, Local58 barged in before TMC took the spotlight. There is so much going on and all of it is very interesting and scary. America's pride leads to its doom, the moon can control electronic devices, and weird creatures spread through the world. If you like stories that leave you not understanding what the hell just happened but loving it anyway, you will love Local58.

Rocket Archives: A single-video series that has unfortunately been taken down for reasons I am not certain of. But if you're curious what it was about, the video presented a reality where us humans were forced to leave Earth with how hot it was getting, and moved to contained bubbles in space. Suddenly, uh oh! The sun's getting closer! Outer Wilds moment! Everything is melting! Humans are gone and the sun is... alive???

Analog Archives: made by the creator of Rocket Archives, has also been taken down but can still be found re-uploaded. The series is slightly similar to Local58, as in it also focuses on broadcast hijacking used for ending off humans. The series also includes a few religious topics that can get very dark. I love it. "Nature Show" makes me tear up with fear every time.

Gemini Home Entertainment: ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOMENT!!! I don't think I need to explain why I love this one so much. GHE leaves a lot to your imagination/speculation, while also twisting your head directly into the direction of the threat and forcing you to look at it while you squirm in fear. GHE is subtle in the most obvious way, obvious in the most subtle way, and most importantly, IT'S COSMIC HORROR, BABY!!! THERE IS A PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM THAT GOT HERE UNINVITED AND NOW IT WANTS TO EAT US!!! UGHHHH I can't put in words why I think it's so good, it just is. Watch it. The Gardeners are cute, I swear. There's even a plush of them.

Monument Mythos: something something alternate realities, something something time loops. I have not watched all of it, barely even half, but I deemed it a little bit too confusing for my brain. BUT! If you're into things that boogle your mind, you might really like this series! I mean, world monuments are alive, what could be scarier?

Vita Carnis: EW. (affectionate)

But, seriously, if you like gross, you are certainly going to like this series. It's meat, and it's alive. Although, I did stop watching it because it got a tad too graphic and violent for my taste, but if that doesn't bother you, then I recommend it a lot! The editing is soooo good, and some of the creatures are very likable and cute ^v^ (the others are gross and I do not want them near me I do not WANT FUCK OFF)

Don't Look at the Moon: Minecraft spooky. Do I need to say more?

[13tinysocks]

I wanna see some anti fanfic rec plspls

You asked for it. May I present, a creepypasta x reader anti-reading list.

Quick Disclaimer: No author names will be dropped nor fic links or sites they’re on. I dislike these works but I don’t want anybody to be harassed. Don’t go after people, holy shit. These works are only here because of some heavily disturbing content. One of them just makes me super mad because of a few circumstances. These are purely my opinions. I am not writing Jesus nor do I write the cleanest stories out there. Dark topics should be explored in fiction. However, some things just shouldn’t fucking be romanticized. Fanfic is practice, I’m not taking points off for wonky writing.

You’re allowed to like whatever the fuck you want. I’m not shaming you or the authors. I’m talking about media I dislike, which I am completely allowed to do. If your friend or favorite author’s work is in here, maybe don’t send this to them. I get it’s tempting but still, it could be upsetting. Again, don’t fucking harass anybody. 

This list is in order of - Pisses me off to FBI open up to whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

Content warning for: Rape, miscarriages, abortion, necrophilia, sexism, child grooming, multiple types of abuse, ablism, and meanie head criticism of popular fics. Seriously, this gets exceptionally bad at the final one. 

First up in our lineup a pretty popular. It’s the least upsetting and problematic. It’s a various creepypasta x reader mansion fic. This is more of an honorable mention because it’s frustrating to read over being super bad.

Recruited.

Summary: (Y/n) killed an attempted rapist and covered it up years ago. She is recruited into the cpp’s to be considered as a proxy along with two others. Follow her through a journey of no character development into becoming a proxy.

What’s wrong with it?

-Brian literally is a misogynist. He literally hates women.

-(Y/n) is an asshole. Not in an entertaining bad bitch way. No, in an unaware bland way. Points off for being a business major, girl you have no soul and it shows.

-She is treated like the voice of reason who is always morally correct. Thing is, if anyone is neurodivergent or mentally ill and ya’know shows symptoms of it, they’re cRaZy, evil, and an annoyance. 

-Yes, people creeping on or getting clingy can be shitty/annoying but sometimes the way (Y/n) acts is completely unjust. It left a bad taste in my mouth because the character felt okay to be shitty to people who weren’t like her.

-The endings are disheartening and make no fucking sense. Cody, who is clingy at worst, gets rejected Jack, who TRIES TO BREAK (Y/N)’S FUCKING LEG, gets with her. Can I get a HELLO?????? 

-(Y/n) also doesn’t get with Jeff who suddenly turned into her brother character after hundreds of pages of romantic tension. Again, Recruited is not inherently bad but it may be really disappointing to people who are here for 1-2 specific characters.

-Queer bait-y author’s notes and inconstant love interests. Author’s notes would read like “Teehee, maybe I’ll make (Y/n) have Jane and/or Natalie endings……” But that never happens after it’s teased multiple times. I get not wanting to add more to your plate but don’t suggest it if you don’t want to do it or only want to please heterosexual readers.

-They put Tim outside like a dog for being a bad boy. 

-Author’s notes and percentages fill in details for the reader that aren’t in the fic. I’m not going to read all of that. Put important information in the fic. 

-Lot’s of excessive jealousy. Painfully heteronormative. 

What about the good?

Readable. Dramatic like Big Brother. Can be an entertaining read if it’s your thing.

Conclusion

Left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like the author literally hated half the cast and was annoyed while writing them. When you don’t enjoy writing something it shows. Also, her other work (pandemic! Reader X X-Virus) is super tone-deaf and I don’t recommend that either. Don’t recommend joining this fic’s Discord server either. Won’t get into details but in my and my friend's experience: it’s not a good environment with a lot of playing favorites. 

-

Next up on our list is a grossly popular Eyeless Jack X Reader fic.

My Imaginary Monster

Summary: Immoral monster, Eyeless Jack, sneaking into a 5-year-old girl's room. He gets attached, sticks around through her childhood. Thing is, he gets real creepy. Starts to catch feelings for a 16-year-old he’s watched grow up. He kisses a minor who reciprocates his feelings which is textbook child grooming. Nasty fucker runs away, there’s some drama from that. (Y/n) grows up, comes back to town, and Jack’s a’creepin’.

What’s wrong with it?

-Jack is a literal child groomer. 

-Do I need to say more??? Immortal adult kisses a 16 y/o. Gross.

-People in the comments are going gaga for grooming. Are you kidding me, he’s a pedophile.

-The OC’s take up more than half of the ~200 page run time. I couldn’t get attached to any of them even after the supposed significance. Which is fine but they took up so much of the fic that it got boring and annoying incredibly quickly.

What’s good about it?

I enjoyed Ben. He did the right thing and I can respect that. Trans and poluyamourus reprrensentation.

Conclusion:

No child grooming in my fucking lobby. I think the author was trying to paint it in a bad light. But the thing is, you can write a creepy stalker fic without making them a groomer. A lot of people are trying to escape their troubles through fanfic, including those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse. Don’t bring that into x reader spaces. Don’t put readers through that again. 

-

Last and absolutely least we got a Tim X Reader. 

BIG TW. FUCKING HUGE TW. MOST OF THE TW’S FROM EARLIER ARE FROM THIS ONE FIC. 

Pure Forgiveness.

Summary: (Y/n) is abused by her mom. Her dad killed himself and she’s all (Y/n)’s got in this world. Until Tim comes along and “saves” her. He takes her to the mansion and keeps her as a pet to torture. 

I’m going to get into all the nitty-gritty to satisfy your morbid curiosities so you don’t read it. 

What’s wrong with it?

-Chapter 1 opens with (Y/n)’s miserable life. Her mom hates her so much she has a fucking torture table for (Y/n).

-There’s an attempted rape in chapter 2.

- She’s taken to the mansion by Tim in chapter 3 because he’s “off his medication” and “acting nicer than normal”. Hi, mentally ill person here, that’s not how it fucking works you ding dong. 

-Mental illness is made out to we wholly evil.

-Also tic’s are made out to be scary. As a person with tics, don’t write tics as scary or super weird. Thanks.

-(Y/n) not being able to escape, fight back rapists, and other horrible shit is labeled as weak.

-At one point (Y/n) is dragged through the mansion, beer bottles and used condoms are thrown at her. Girl has to shower off cum.

-(Y/n) is tortured in various ways. Mostly beaten, berated, burned, cut, starved, etc. 

-She is drugged and repeatedly raped by Brian and Toby. These rapes are recorded and shown to (Y/n).

-Brian has black hair. Why?

-Toby and Brian give (Y/n) a forced abortion.  

-(Y/n) gets raped almost every fucking chapter.

-At one point Jack orally rapes (Y/n) to abort a baby. 

-Toby and Brian are necrophiles. They skull fuck a corpse at some point. It is graphically described how they like to have sex with dead bodies.

-Slenderman forcefully impregnates (Y/n) to “keep the (Tim’s) baby safe” whatever the fuck that means.

Why does this happen?

Because Tim wants a kid because his dad raped his mom and his mom was a prostitute. He’s soooo sad guys :(((

Feeling hungry? Here’s some things that are eaten by various characters.

-Hair 

-Cum (forced)

-Toby 

-Piss 

-A miscarried baby 

What’s good about it?

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Don’t read it.

Conclusion

If you like this fic you need therapy, I’m not joking. It’s like a car crash and Rob Zombie movie horribly mish-mashed together. It sucks. The comments praise literal abuse and berate (Y/n) for being afraid. Fuck this fic and everything it stands for. It’s shock horror and torture for the sake of it. It makes no fucking sense and it’s harmful. People think this is okay. It’s not. 

-

Thank you to my pals in the server for helping out and finishing some of these where I could not. Especially you Connie, everyone say thank you Connie she got through Pure Forgiveness. Absolute trooper legend. Again, don’t go out of your way to harass these people. I made this list so you can avoid these works because they have the potential to be upsetting. I’m not the police, I can’t force anyone to stop nor do I want to. Author’s are allowed to explore dark topics but some should be done respectfully or not at-fucking-all. I hope these people grow as writers and understand treating some things a certain way isn’t cool. You can enjoy dark fics, I do too, fuck I write them too, but Jesus God, some things are a no from me chief.

[amethystdarkwolf]

My ‘Orange Side’ predictions, theories and a lot of Logan angst.

So I've had this theory for a hot second, and only recently decided to finally sit down and write it out. This goes on for quite a bit, and is a little bit on the heavier side, as it has my predictions for the last dark side, and a bunch of little patterns that are interesting to point out, that mostly lead to angst.

Okay, enjoy!

TL;DR is right before the little bonus thing at the end that's just more angst stuff for Logan that kind of applies.

So if you've been in the fandom for really any amount of time, you will know about The Rainbow Theory. Basically, all it is, is that the sides colors will make up the rainbow, and it seems to be nearly canon. We have all the colors except one. And that color is Orange.

Using the knowledge that this side will (most likely) be orange, we have a clue about him. That he's watching, and that he's aware of the audience.

From 26:34 to 26:44, in the upper left hand corner there is a score in orange text, the number is '07734'. Now, if you were to put that number into a calculator and turn it upside down, it would spell out, 'hello.'

Now this is mostly common knowledge at this point due to the fandom (me included) absolutely losing it over the hint of a new dark side. Especially since he shows up seemingly out of nowhere. I just needed to get those establishing bits out of the way before I continued on with the theory so it's a tiny bit easier to track my thinking (I tend to not explain my points correctly before moving onto the next one so I hope I did a better job of it this time through).

He is speaking to us. He's not saying hello to Patton or Roman or even Thomas! They don't even notice it! He is speaking to the viewer, which leads to the question of what exactly this side knows, and more importantly what this side is capable of.

There is also speculation that this dark side is going to be somehow attached to or the opposite of Logan. The opposite of Logic, that implication alone should be at least a little unsettling. Now, I love Logan, I love him a lot, him and Janus are my favorites. But he does seem to have kind of not the best relations with the others at times. However, I do not think we've reached him actually despising any side, not even Remus or Janus. I think that is going to change.

The color schemes Thomas and the team have been using are really clever. They convey a lot about the character just by having the color associated with them. They have also been working with the idea of opposites. And those opposites seem to conflict quite often.

What I mean is, violet on the color wheel is the opposite of yellow. Virgil and Janus' colors. Now, it is very, very plain to see that Virgil and Janus do not get along. Whatever history they have is still up in the air for specifics, but it's obvious that they have one. And at least Virgil hates Janus.

Red and green are also opposites on the color wheel. Even though they have barely interacted, it's clear by Roman's language towards Remus that they don't have the best relationship. Roman breaks down at the mention that him and Remus are similar. Also the funhouse simile, (DWIT: 35:56) "It's a little like, looking into a funhouse mirror,  but instead of a giant head, or, like, long legs and a tiny torso... It shows you... Everything you don't want to be."   That's more than enough evidence to prove they aren't on the best terms.

Now, onto blue. Blue, more specifically, Logan's shade of blue, is opposite to orange. And judging by the pattern we see developing with the opposite colors. Logan will not like the orange side one bit. Hold onto that piece of information for a moment while I make a few more predictions based on some more patterns.

Someone has already pointed this out, (if someone will be so kind as to remind me of who pointed this out that would be lovely <3), but back in Moving On Part 2, in the background, there is a picture hanging on the wall that will typically change  to fit whatever topic they're currently on, (ex: it changed to a picture of Thomas preforming in the show he won the golden apple for when it was brought up, or a zoomed in picture of the children's book he made.) At 1:30 the picture changes to show Thomas doing the 'speak no evil, hear no evil and see no evil' poses. (Covering his mouth, ears and eyes)

The dark sides and Virgil seem to each have a connection to one of these.

Virgil: See no evil. (Embarrassing Phases: 7:32. Virgil makes the room go completely black, blocking everyone's field of vision while he changed Logan's costume.)

Janus: Speak no evil. (Self-explanatory)

Remus: Hear no evil. (DWIT: 5:36-5:48. Remus muffles the other sides conversation, making Thomas hear him clearer than anyone else with the "Have you ever imagined killing your brother?" line.)  

The last one in that same vein, would be 'do no evil'.

So what does this pattern have to do with the other patterns I've pointed out?

Well, in order to get there, I need to point out, yet another pattern. (I'm so sorry)

Logan has always been a bit more physical than the rest of the sides I think. I don't really like using pre-Fitting In information in my theories, as I'm unsure of exactly how much they had planned at that point?, but I'm unsure of how to explain my point that well without this example. In Accepting Anxiety part 1, at 6:36 you can see Thomas rubbing the back of his head where he was hit with the laptop, immediately after, you can see Logan do the same thing.

To me this sort of establishes that what happens to Thomas can happen to Logan, making him a bit more of a physical presence than the others. The brain is what stimulates pain after all, it controls all the nerve endings and pain receptors.

Another much looser example, is his puppet choice in LNTAO, the whole 'not made of felt' thing was most likely just because of what Logan said that y'know, he didn't feel anything. It is also the fact of, all of the others puppets had felt somewhere on them, except his. Which makes the puppet, in contrast, feel more sturdy and physical.

I don't think this one applies all too much, but it is worth noting that out of all of the sides, Logan tends to always end up holding something/having something more physical in his possession more than the others. (Moving on being the exception)

The note cards.

The yerkes-dodson curve chart.

In Can Lying Be Good he was given a little headset.

Logic Vs. Passion he had a notebook (Which also made an appearance in Embarrassing Phases) as well as the drawings and graphs, while he wasn't physically holding them, they were real and not animation like Roman's examples.

(If you wanna count the crofters go ahead...?)

LNTAO also had the paper ball throwing physically hurting Roman.

In SvS when he was summoned (lmao summoned to appear in court I just got that as I was typing this out.) He is holding a law book.

In DWIT he gets physically hurt, twice. Having his teeth pulled out, and the throwing star. [Side note: the little interaction at 19:07 could also apply here, showing how he's more grounded as he stays almost completely still when Remus practically jump scares him.]

In the Healthy Distractions video he has what I'm assuming is coffee-

Then in the redux, he physically ends up hurting Patton by popping up too close. An odd little detail that really didn't apply, don't you think? And it's immediately followed up with Patton reiterating that they were just figments of Thomas' imagination.

Logan is much more grounded in reality and more physical than the other sides. Which is a very good thing for Logic to be, that's what it has to be.

Now what is the actual theory?

Virgil can blind the others

Remus can mute the others

Janus can silence the others

My theory is that the 'orange side' is going to have the ability to physically or mentally control the others.

And Logan is going to be his chosen victim, at least at first.

Logan is going to have an antagonistic relationship with this side because of the fact that he takes control away from him. Which order and control is what Logan seems to thrive on!

Keeping schedules, having everything in order, being taken seriously, attempting to make sure that Thomas is punctual, all of those things are Logan trying to maintain control. Now that isn't a bad thing in this circumstance at least, he's trying to make sure Thomas doesn't do anything that would cause his life to devolve into chaos.

But when it's taken away from him it's going to send him into some kind of spiral, and lead to his two-part video. Losing control of things is scary as hell. It was one of the points brought up as to why Remus was being a pest more than usual (DWIT: 29:37-29:56). And obviously being ignored and pushed to the side isn't helping either. It could just be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Long story short, Logan's arc is going to be directly tied to that other dark side, at least in my predictions.

And it's going to hurt.

Okay, this last little bit, is purely speculation, with very little connection to anything in canonicity. All of the dark traits seem to have a connection to some kind of animal, and they're typically ones that are seen as gross or creepy in some form, spider, snake, octopus.

What if the last dark side's animal was some kind of bug? A beetle or something. Like seriously the thought of a bright orange beetle or cockroach is, disgusting.

The only reason I'm saying this is because of a random thought I had. We all know Logan's 'robot' persona he puts up, he can't feel anything, he's mechanical, right? Well, a side coming in and completely flipping all of that on it's head, and ruining the control Logan had...

That would be a real bug in the system, now wouldn't it?

Well! Thank you for reading through all of this! I know it got a bit long-winded I just like having as much evidence as possible before stating a theory.

But those were just my thoughts and I'd love to hear yours! So please tell me what you think!!!

TL;DR: My prediction is that the orange side will be able to take control over the other sides, and he will take control of Logan which would cause Logan to spiral enough to warrant his two part video.

------------

BONUS: Some more angsty bits about Logan and control, that didn't apply to the theory too much! 

So first off, to me Logan seems like a very straight-forward (ha.) problem solver. If there is a problem there is no need to go through extensive loopholes or anything, no emotional mires or musical numbers unless necessary, the problem just needs to be fixed, period end of sentence.

I have a feeling that Logan applies that same logic to himself.

In the videos prior to Losing My Motivation, Logan was very very happy and bubbly. Easily excited and willing to participate in things he probably wouldn't have otherwise. He was much more expressive. (I know this is most likely because he was not a fully fleshed out character yet, but it can tie into some angst.)

Then in Losing My Motivation, Logan was brought the conclusion that he was the problem. (Note: this was also where the infinitesimal mistake was also made.)

From then on, we can slowly see minor changes to him in the videos, he starts becoming more reserved, serious, as well as trying new things to sort of fit in? (i.e the note cards) He saw the problem, and he tried to fix it. He became the definite voice of reason. Him smiling also went down a lot.

Looking back on this better explains why Logan was so upset at the beginning of Logic Vs. Passion, 2:28-2:41. To him he's already fixed his problem, he's fixed himself, he was the problem, how could Thomas run into this problem again!

Then we get to the crofters musical, where he just completely drops his walls down and sings and has fun with something he enjoys. Then of course, Virgil and Patton kinda come and unintentionally embarrass him. And he starts getting more feelings of inadequacy which build up to the whole problem of LNTAO.

Then in SvS almost his entire time on the witness stand was Janus subtly poking at him, and at 15:04, he talks about wanting to make sure Thomas is punctual and productive. He in fact calls it his passion project, something he is PASSIONATE ABOUT.

After two or three years, Logan is still trying to fix the problem. He's still trying to fix himself.

Now this link to control is mostly in what Logan is trying to get Thomas to do, be punctual, follow schedules, produce adequate content at a steady pace, and follow the same pattern every day, according to the chart in Logic Vs. Passion. This habit forming, tends to nearly eliminate variables from Thomas' life. Earning Logan more control. Which is clearly what he's wanting, as he feels that is the way to prevent problems from happening.

[wormmomma]

MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering  whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that  being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

 (the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!) 

So what’s it  about? 

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s  gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m  still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review  i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.   

[ranissupercool]

Bitch

Fandom: Danganronpa Characters: Mikan Tsumiki, Hiyoko Saionji Relationships: Hiyomikan Rating: Teen and up Word Count: 2,346 Summary: Hiyoko is Hiyoko, and Mikan is happy with that.

Some fluff I wrote while drunk. The Hiyoko/Mikan can be taken romantically or platonically, but it's portrayed as a friendship in this fic

Read on Ao3!

“Give me one half-decent reason why I shouldn’t stomp you six feet into the ground right now, you sneaky little rotten pig bitch.”

“B-B-Because I’m s-sorry…?”

Yeah… Hiyoko was mad. Understandably mad, but also scarily mad. This wasn’t what Mikan had been going for.

“A ‘sorry’ isn’t gonna cut it for secretly drugging me, idiot!”

“E-Eek… B-But you keep telling me to f-fight fire with fire, a-and you drugged the whole class that one time…”

“I… Okay yeah, I did do that,” Hiyoko muttered, unable to refute Mikan’s reasoning. “B-But inviting me over just to drug me with aphrodisiac is super shady and totally makes you look like a creep. I was just doing it to be funny!”

Mikan sighed. She really couldn’t win with this girl, could she? Not that she was exactly wrong, either…

“Hmph… You really are useless. I tell you to stand up for yourself and this is the thanks I get?” To be fair, Hiyoko was one of her bullies too. She knew that damn well, Mikan was certain.

Still, all she could bring herself to do was poke meekly her fingers together and apologize. She knew Hiyoko hated when she did that, but what else could she do?

“Ugh, whatever. At least I still have more self-control than you did when you got drugged. Heh, you remember that? How you were seriously about to use Peko’s sword as a--”

“I-I remember! I remember, s-so you don’t have to s-say it… Ugh… B-Besides, I-I used a low dosage…”

Still, despite Hiyoko trying to act like it was nothing, Mikan could clearly see that it was taking effect. Her face was flushed, she kept trying to fan herself… and she kept strangely shifting and rubbing her legs against each other. Seeing Hiyoko in such a state was rather odd… Should Mikan feel bad? She knew Hiyoko wouldn’t, were she in Mikan’s position, but--

“Geez, whatever. A-And stop staring,” Hiyoko huffed. Ah, Mikan had been caught… “It makes me think maybe you did do this to perv on me. Damn lolicon…”

“A-Ah, I r-really didn’t… S-- Sorry. I, um… To make it up to you, what do you want me to do? Strip? Or you could draw something on me… O-Or I guess hit me, if you really wanted…” It wasn’t as if Mikan necessarily wanted her to do any of those things, but if it made Hiyoko less mad… Gah, and here she was trying to get back at Hiyoko for once. Yet, now she was only submitting again, wasn’t she?

“Ugh, none of that, you weirdo masochist! Why do I even bother with someone like you…”

“Th-That’s what I’d like to know…”

Ah. Crap. Hiyoko was giving her a rather dirty look now. Was that bad to say? It was the truth, but--

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You’re so pathetic it drives me nuts! How the hell are you expecting to survive after high school like that?”

“E-Eep…”

“Ugh… Whatever.” Hiyoko, already seeming exasperated with Mikan, let out another huffy sigh. “I guess I can at least give you credit for trying… even if I totally want to twist you up right now.”

“I-Into a crybaby pretzel!?”

“Hey, you remember! Guess you have more than half a brain cell in that dumb head of yours after all!”

“O-Oh, um… I-I try…” Mikan couldn’t help blushing lightly, even knowing that wasn’t at all a compliment. “B-By the way, are you… feeling okay? If you want, y-you can go back to your room and… y’know... I-It might make you feel better…”

“What? Are you seriously suggesting I do something so gross!?”

“I-It’s not really that gross! I-It’s… healthy…”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d know, wouldn’t you?”

“...W-Well actually, as the Super High School Level Health Committee Member… Y-Yes…”

Hiyoko rolled her eyes and flopped onto Mikan’s bed, startling her and causing her to instinctively back off to the furthest corner of said bed. “Whateverrr. I’m not doing that. You asked what you can do to make up for this, right? Keep me company and distract me ‘til it wears off.”

“Huh? Y-You want me to… talk to you?”

“Well yeah, no way I’m going to anyone else like this! Unless you’d rather I distract myself by twisting you up…”

“Eep! N-No, talking is fine! I-I just… ah, I usually memorize conversation topics for these kinds of situations, but I always get nervous and forget them…”

“God, you’re such a nerd. Maybe I should just sleep this off instead, so I don’t have to listen to your whining…”

“A-Ah, no, I… u-uh…” Mikan stuttered helplessly, racking her brain for something to talk about that Hiyoko might find remotely interesting. Unfortunately, it took her too long, Hiyoko having somehow already fallen asleep before she could think of anything to say. That aphrodisiac really mustn’t’ve bothered her very much, even despite the earlier signs…

...As anxious as Mikan may have been about being a boring host, maybe this was for the best. Hiyoko was a lot less scary when she was sleeping. In fact, if anything, she was kind of cute…

Was that creepy? That was totally creepy, wasn’t it? Mikan let out a helpless little whine for no one to hear, laying on the bed next to Hiyoko-- softly, so as not to wake her. Hiyoko was a bit of a light sleeper, and she did not like getting abruptly woken.

What was she supposed to do while Hiyoko was sleeping, though? She couldn’t just leave her there, alone. That would be rude and also dangerous, considering the mischief Hiyoko would surely get up to if left by herself to root through Mikan’s things. Maybe she could read a book…

That thought was cut short when Hiyoko began lightly clutching onto Mikan’s arm, muttering something incomprehensible. Well, now she was trapped…

...Hiyoko’s body sure was warm. And honestly, the clinging wasn’t too uncomfortable. Hard to believe this girl was capable of inflicting so much pain onto someone.

But, hey. She wasn’t all bad. Although her methods were unorthodox, she did try to inspire confidence in Mikan. While she didn’t get it at first, now that she understood, she really had to appreciate the rude, harsh girl now sleeping peacefully next to her.

She wouldn’t have dared try and drug her, otherwise.

“Wha-- You fell again !? God, you’re useless!”

“I-I’m sorry…! I’m r-really trying my best…”

“Like hell you are! Geez, I should’ve just let you clean the classroom by yourself and left with Mahiru, but no, she insisted I stay here and help… You better be grateful to her. If it weren’t for Mahiru being so generous and nice, there’s no way I’d cut a stupid bitch like you any slack.”

“Y-You’re not even helping anyways… You’re just watching…”

A pretty normal day, with Hiyoko acting the same as always. Not only that, but Mikan was forced into cleaning duty with her…

Well, ‘forced’ may have indeed been the case, but she didn’t mind. She’d been gradually getting used to Hiyoko over the past couple of years, amazed that the other hadn’t gotten bored of her by this point. Surely, she thought, if Hiyoko hadn’t gotten bored of bullying her, that meant she had to care in some way.

Er, maybe. It was, admittedly, hard to tell with her. Still, the attention was nice, and Hiyoko honestly didn’t do anything too horrible or gross, despite her insults and her threats. She may have been scary, but Mikan still preferred being with her over many of the people in their class.

She was… comfortable with how things were between them.

“And?” Hiyoko sneered. “Did you actually think I was gonna help? That isn’t stupid; that’s just delusional.”

“A-Ah… I guess you’re right…” Mikan sighed, resigned as always, and pushed herself off of the floor before picking up her fallen broom. “But, I mean… i-if you really don’t wanna be here, there’s no one to force you to stay… s-since Mahiru and Miss Yukizome left a while ago.”

“...Geez… Even when we’re alone…”

“H-Hm? I-I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that…?”

Hiyoko narrowed her eyes at Mikan, causing her to let out a small squeak and mutter another apology. “That. That’s exactly it. Even when it’s just the two of us, you don’t do anything . Are you some kind of masochist? Is that why you let everyone walk all over you?”

“Wh-What?” This was… new. Not exactly the questions being asked of her, but the tone Hiyoko took… “U-Um, no…?”

“Then why!? No matter what I do, you complain but still let it happen. It’s ridiculous!”

“You… m-make it sound like you want me to fight back…”

“No shit. You couldn’t even tell that much? Talk about pathetic…” Hiyoko scoffed, but Mikan still didn’t quite understand what was happening, so she could only stare quietly at Hiyoko. “...God, you really had no idea. You’re so… geh.”

“Geh?”

”You’re so disgustingly pathetic it grosses me out to watch. People feel bad for you, sure, but with the way you act, they’re still too weirded out to get close to you. There’s no way you haven’t noticed that, right?”

“That’s… j-just because I’m not very likeable, right? That’s the only--”

“It’s totally on purpose! I just don’t get why… All I do know is that if you were in my position, you’d be long dead by now.”

Mikan… didn’t know what Hiyoko meant by that. She sounded incredibly serious, though. “W-Well… I’m going to be honest in that I don’t… fully understand what you’re getting at. But if you want to know the reason I let people be mean to me, i-it’s probably just because I am that pathetic. I’m n-not any good at defending my--”

“I know damn well you can defend yourself. Maybe not against everyone, but me? You totally can; you just don’t. I’ve never even seen you try to stand up for yourself against anyone before. What, have you just… given up? Is that it?”

“I g-guess that’s not exactly wrong… Um… Trying to stand up for myself has never really done me any good before. So… I don’t. B-Besides, if I did, you might…”

“What? What could I do to you that could possibly be worse than what I already do?”

Mikan wasn’t sure how this would go over with Hiyoko, but she also wasn’t sure if she would ever get to see Hiyoko being so upfront with her again, so she might as well admit it. “...I-If I deter you from being mean to me, you might get bored and start ignoring me…”

“Seriously? Isn’t that still ten times better than getting insulted and hit and stuff all the time?”

“I-I don’t really think so…”

“...I think I’m starting to see why I haven’t been able to provoke you into fighting back so far…”

Was… that really what Hiyoko had been doing? This whole time? No, it definitely wasn’t that at first… but… maybe over time, Hiyoko had grown to be concerned for her? Mikan really wanted to know, but she couldn’t be sure without asking Hiyoko herself. “Um, do you… maybe… not… hate me?”

Hiyoko stared at Mikan for some time, perhaps trying to read Mikan the same way she was trying to understand Hiyoko.

Then, she sighed. “You really are an idiot.”

“Nrgh… Mikan…”

Mikan slowly opened her eyes. Right, she was still in her room, in bed, with…

“ Mikan! ”

A tiny hand roughly pushed against one of her boobs, and she realized her position had changed since she last remembered. She was hugging Hiyoko to her chest, arms and legs practically clinging to the girl… When did that happen?

Hell, what time was it?

“S-- Sorry…” She let go of Hiyoko, who immediately sat up.

“Jesus, what was that supposed to be? Were you trying to suffocate me or something!?”

“Wh-What? No, I…” Mikan sat up herself, glancing to the digital clock by her bed. 8 PM… it had been a few hours since Hiyoko went to sleep, so that must have meant… “I-I think I fell asleep after you did. Whoops…”

“Geez… Weirdo.”

“A-Anyways, how do you feel? Did the aphrodisiac wear off?”

“Must’ve. I’m not feeling anything.”

“Ah, that’s good…”

“Good? I don’t think you quite get the point of getting me back with the drug… Whatever. It’s a start, I guess.”

Mikan perked up a bit, leaning slightly closer to Hiyoko. “A start? Um… D-Does that mean I did something good?”

“Geez, you’re not supposed to expect praise from your bullies! Anyone else would get mad!”

“E-Eh? But… You did earlier, but you don’t seem very mad now. You were so good at acting like you hated me for two years… Why not right now?”

“Well… b-because clearly, you don’t learn anything unless I tell you when you’ve done something right. So… good job… I guess.“

Mikan couldn’t help it. She smiled-- giggled, even-- but her eyes also watered and watered ‘til they spilled over with tears. She was happy, yet--

“Wh-What the-- You still can’t take one nice thing being said to you without crying!?”

“S-Sorry, I can’t help it… I told you before that--”

“I know, I know… Trust me, Mikan, we’ve both had shitty pasts. And… I get it, sorta. But if you panic or cry whenever someone’s nice to you, you’re gonna scare them off. So, uh… work on that.”

“I-I’ll try.”

“Good. Also, stop apologizing for everything. It’s annoying.”

“C-Can’t make any promises on that one…”

“Huh? Did some useless pig just try to talk back to me? Did you forget who’s in charge here? Just because I’m trying to help you out here doesn’t mean I’m not totally willing to twist you up into a dumb little crybaby pretzel.”

Oddly… that just made Mikan laugh. “I’m not a useless pig… Hiyoko, you bitch.”

“Hey, that’s my word. Next assignment is to think of an insult without plagiarizing me. Bitch.”

“No… I think I’m still going to call you a bitch. Bitch.”

Hiyoko snorted. “...Maybe you are getting better at this.”

[fairycosmos]

i love her so much and i dont want to ask her not to say that especially bc ik im someone she feels more comfortable talking 2 about that stuff and im always here to be the person reminding her to eat and take care + i dont rlly know if maybe she's still dealing with disordered thoughts but im scared im starting to relapse bc those thoughts and also me comparing my body to hers are starting to take over my brain but i feel so gross and selfish by being affected by her like struggle? i guess? (2)

hey love. you're not making it all about yourself - you deserve to be listened to and taken care of as well. 'that' part of your mind will always try to convince you that communication is selfish because ED's thrive in isolation, but in reality practicing honesty (even when it's embarrassing) is probably the best thing you can do for both you and your relationship. the vocabulary you/the people around you use surrounding food DOES contribute to how you view it and your self image. when you have low self esteem your own problems are never going to feel important enough - but when you love someone you realize you have to help yourself out in order to help them. and it always comes back to that no matter how much you wrestle with it. so even if you just start by telling her that you're uncomfortable and that you're struggling with your body, then you'll both have something to work with. it's alright to take it at your own pace. these small moments of truth will lead to progress of some sort, and it's always better than not saying anything at all. you know about your gfs issues because she was open about them, and so now you know how to support her to some extent, right? and it wasn't burdensome at all, was it? she's going to see it the same way for you. i promise. it's not like she can't talk about her issues at all without triggering you, it's more like...... you both need to be on the same page about how you can approach the topic in a way that's comfortable for both of you. there are more proactive ways to go about it and maybe you could figure it out together? but you have to take the right steps to get to that point. i really think it could be beneficial to bring it up to her, even just over text or something. i understand that it's scary, and that it's not what you want. but the vulnerability will only serve you positively in the future, and it's definitely a necessary evil. the part of you that wants to justify suffering in silence can not be trusted because it's what lead you here initially. you can acknowledge it, but you don't have to let it dictate what you do completely. please consider what you genuinely need instead of how guilty you feel for something that is not your fault. im sure your gf will appreciate the transparency.

i definitely think you should talk to someone outside of your girlfriend about what's going on, too. your weight is completely irrelevant and it doesn't change the seriousness of the matter. ed's are classified as mental disorders for a reason, you know? they're incredibly dangerous and hard to live with regardless of how much you want to minimise it in your head. i get that it's really fuckin hard, and overwhelming even to think about reaching out. but you're already trying to develop a healthier mentality, and that counts for so much. it shows how genuinely capable you are, how you don't want to live a life that is controlled by food and weight and a never-ending cycle. and you honestly deserve better than that. nothing is a substitute for proper advice and support. there are numerous hotlines you can call and they will be able to offer more specialised recommendations about where to go from here. and there are tons of online resources if you're looking for some short term coping mechanisms to implement into your daily routine. then maybe you could move on to talking to your doctor to see if they can refer you to someone, or a support group? a professional will be able to work with you to uncover the root causes of what's going on, to identify what triggers and soothes you, to create a plan of action so you have something to refer to on bad days. even just having a place to vent makes all the difference, but you won't see that until you take the initial step. it doesn't have to get better all at once, progress isn't always linear. but you should still seek it. and it's allowed to feel daunting and overwhelming, sit with that but don't try to hold onto it. my point is you're never as trapped as it feels like you are. and where you're at right now is nowhere near permanent. every day you can make the choice to prioritize your own wellbeing - whether that's by being honest with your girlfriend, or preparing a meal, or letting yourself cry when you want to. every day's a small battle but being genuine with the people in your support system makes it a a lot easier, even if it seems harder at first. i would really suggest opening up to her even just a little so you can confront the future together. i really hope you're okay and that you're able to find something that works for everyone involved. i get that this is all a lot easier said than done, so feel free to take your time and do it in your own way. i'll be rooting for you. take care of yourself 💌

[eroticcannibal]

I don’t consider myself an anti-anti but I /am/ active in the crime fiction & true crime communities and I just thought I could shed some light on the debate: the last couple years there has been a /real/ push to get women & queer people to stop engaging with the genre; the same arguments about “retraumatizing” and “fetishizing violence” & calling us “serial killer fuckers” when a lot of us use the genre to relate to our own trauma. /That’s/ why the writers don’t like it; it’s part of a pattern

Oh yeah, I don’t doubt that. Stuff like that is genuinely awful and should not be happening, people have every right to engage with whatever media they chose and to create what they chose. Denying people’s autonomy does nothing to address actual problems. It always ends up hurting, for lack of a better way of putting it, the “wrong” people anyway, not those “guilty” of actually... whatever people are moaning about this week. Women and queer people make easy targets, that’s all there is to things like that. 

Just as ways to deal with genuinely gross attitudes without actually censoring women and queer people, incentivizing more savory kinds of content is an excellent way to go about that. Like, I get it, censorship is scary (and I do have a dog in this fight, I have to deal with the fact that work I intend to publish will probably get me in actual legal trouble, fines will ruin me) but at the same time we can’t let that fear lead to reactions that get in the way of working towards addressing the actual (not the anti fantasy) impact that fiction can have on people. I really do understand why it’s a thing that bothers people, especially on the heels of what you describe, but I do think that incentivizing people to create the kind of content you want is far more productive than attacking the kind of content you don’t. That award existing is the right way to go about these conflicts, and it exists for good reasons. 

It shouldn’t really be debatable at this point that many areas of fiction include inaccurate, glamorized depictions of sexual assault and violence against women. That’s a fact. It’s a fact that many creators who produce that content (notably but not always and not exclusively cis men) are not doing that to relate to their own trauma. We know that popular media fetishizes the suffering of marginalized people. Despite progressive circles knowing better, and despite some very successful efforts to educate the public, jury attitudes to rape cases are... still bad, and when so many people still learn about sexual assault through media, it’s important to pay attention to what messages people are getting. When the suffering of minorities is so often used as entertainment fodder rather than something to be taken seriously, it’s important to do something about that. It’s a difficult issue to approach because any effort to discourage or censor the genuinely bad things harms others. That’s exactly why something like that award is a *good thing*. It doesn’t censor or punish anyone. It highlights works that are free of those issues and incentivizes more to be produced.

It *is* a bit of a blunt approach, but it’s the fairest really. Sure, you could have an award that would apply to works exploring those issues in the “correct” way, but then you have the debate about what the “correct” way is. It would be never-ending. It’s too open to interpretation. “works that cannot cross this line because this stuff we don’t like isn’t there” is about the best way to approach it. 

It’s not enough on it’s own, it’s imperfect, sure. But for as long as those people *not* suffering these things in reality are using as something cheap and titilating to make their plot a bit more spicy, efforts to incentivise those people to write something else aren’t wasted, even if the effect is limited. 

Perhaps it might be worthwhile for writers concerned about this who have the resources to look at doing something similar, that highlights the value of telling these kinds of stories in a way that doesn’t contribute to those very reasonable concerns. I think in combination something like that would be very effective, incentivizing the less.... respectful? writers to write something better, and rewarding the more respectful writing for handling important topics respectfully and honestly. 

But not being eligible for an award cannot ever be anything close to censorship short of every award in existence closing ranks and excluding specific material across the board.