#they did such a good job of cultivating the right fan group

[bugswarm]

So when I was a kid, in like, 2006-2007, there was a game series called SingStar. It was a singing version of guitar hero basically. Anyways, my friend loved singing games and had gotten 2 of them. SingStar Rocks and SingStar Pop. I also really enjoyed them, so we played them all the time. But on the one game, SingStar Pop, there was an My Chemical Romance song, Helena. I was absolutely fascinated by the music video and loved the song and everything about it. (I was a really depressed kid and anything dark, morbid, etc was a fascination for me) So I of course, would beg to play that song all the time with her. But she didn’t like it. She thought it was weird and explicitly said “Boys aren’t supposed to wear makeup”. (Which, she also loved doing Fall Out Boy’s Dance, Dance and thats got Pete Wentz in eye liner, plus like, all the other reasons thats a fucked up statement but we were 10-11 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and made a rule that if we did that song, then we had to do one of the songs she liked that I hated. And I hated those more than my love of the weird funeral rock song that she would complain about every time we played it even if we were playing it in exchange for one I hated. So we almost never played Helena unless we did a random shuffle and it happened to pick it (which I celebrated every time but also regretted being happy about because I did it so infrequently that I couldn’t do well on the actual singing part of the game >.<).

For years, that was all I knew about mcr. They were “those boys who wore makeup that [childhood friend] said Im not supposed to like”. Then I got into high school and met this girl and we kissed after a party once, and I desperately needed her in my life more. And she said she was writing a fanfiction about a band and if I helped beta read it, then we would have something to talk about/more time to hang out. But I didn’t know the band at all. Turns out it was mcr. She wrote me a quick primer on each band member and the general traits I should know about them. I do not at all remember what she said beyond like, “Mikey plays Bass and is the brother of Gerard, who sings. Frank plays Guitar, Ray plays Guitar, and Bob used to play drums but doesn’t anymore” (this was post Bob leaving the band but before we all knew the extent of how bad he is). But anyways, I helped edit the fic and it took months and during the writing and editing process we ended up dating. Then 4 years later, we broke up, about 1 year after mcr broke up.

My ex is and isn’t important to this story because on the one hand, this is a story about how MCR has influenced my life over the years. But on the other hand, if it weren’t for My Chemical Romance, my ex and I would have never gotten together, or stayed together as long as we did. Our official first date was at an MCR concert. And those 4 years with them have some of the biggest impacts on my life to this day out of any other era of my life. A lot of who I am today can be directly attributed to things I experienced and learned through dating them. Hell I joined tumblr because of them, know about AO3 because of them, and learned…. So much about just. How actual real adult life works because of them.

But beyond my ex and I breaking up, MCR was still gone. They had broken up too. And I fell out of the fandom. Sure I still listened to the music and occasionally would talk about the band with other fans who I met, but it was bittersweet and painful.

Then in October 2019, I was at a halloween party hosted by my college. I was going through a bad relationship. And then news dropped that MCR had reunited. I could not pay attention to anything else. That was the most exciting thing that had happened in years. A month later, I was single. I had remembered that there were things more important in life and that I didn’t have to put up with the guy I was dating if I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. And my life got instantly better.

Then the pandemic hit. And shows were rescheduled. And the world put on hold. And then the blm protests happened. And my world got dark again. I dated another person who wasn’t good for me. (Nor I them). I restructured my life around what I thought I could settle for. And went on like that for over a year.

MCR did their European leg of their tour but I didn’t pay much attention. I never paid attention to tours I couldn’t attend since any other time in my life, the best we got was after the show we might get some nice photos or a grainy far away video, and it was rarely worth it. Plus with covid still happening, I kept expecting shows to be cancelled or rescheduled.

And then MCR got to the US leg of the tour. And at first, I planned to ignore it just the same as the European leg. And then a few days later, my news app showed me an article about one of their shows. Which I thought was odd because what could they have done that was so impressive that the news would write about it, and despite not having MCR news in my usual like, algorithmically decided interests, have it show up in my news feed. So I clicked it.

It was Nashville and suddenly a picture of Gerard Way wearing a cheerleader dress was directly in front of me. So I checked tumblr for the first time in a few months. Blogs that I had followed for fandoms over the years that had never been MCR blogs were posting about it. Old MCR blogs that had long been abandoned years ago but I never bothered to unfollow, suddenly were running and posting again. And I checked the tags to see what the general masses on tumblr were saying too. And every single post I saw, was an absolute outpouring of positivity and kindness and happiness. I didn’t see a single negative post. I didn’t even see any borderline inappropriate horny-on-main posts like I expected. I followed a few blogs and figured that was it. That I might check tumblr a bit more often and reblog some cool new-era-of-MCR posts. I figured nothing more shocking or emotionally investing could happen after the cheerleader dress. That was already crazy getting to see even that much.

But then they were playing Portland and a lot of the blogs I had followed were really hyped up and talking about livestreaming the show. And I wasn’t busy that night so I figured Id turn it on as background noise. And ended up watching every minute of it. The next day, I had a full break down. I couldn’t fathom settling with my life when something so incredibly amazing was out there.

That weekend, the local pop punk night DJ for the bar I go to occasionally was putting on an MCR themed/specific pop punk night, to commemorate the anniversary of the first time they played my city. I decided to make the cheerleader dress and wear it there and double it as a halloween costume. I made it in 3 days in time for the bar night.

Getting to the bar, I was nervous. The dress was short. And I’m afab but nonbinary, and I know most people look at me and say “that’s a girl” without thinking about it further. In a dress, that’s even more likely. In a short dress, I couldn’t imagine anything else happening. When I got to the bar, I was so nervous I was shaking. I immediately ordered 2 shots and a drink, hoping that being drunk would take away the anxiety. As I was waiting on my drinks, someone approached me to compliment the dress and ask me questions about how I sewed it. He wanted to buy a sewing machine for his girlfriend for Christmas and needed to know what kind to buy her. It was a nice chat.

Then, after, I went into the crowd proper. I had so many people compliment my dress, it was crazy. I had expected only a few people to even recognize it. It was a random outfit they wore once on stage, less than 2 weeks prior. Most of these people weren’t even hardcore MCR fans, just pop punk in general. But every single hardcore MCR fan I saw complimented the dress. And also? absolutely none of them assumed I was a girl. Not one. Most asked for pronouns. None were weirded out when I answered they/them. None looked at me like I was crazy or said anything negative. Some said they were too. It was the most shocking experience I have ever had in terms of my gender identity.

Out of the 4 people Ive dated in my life, 3 had been or later came out as (binary) trans people. All three of the ones who are trans, had made me feel like my gender wasn’t valid. (The cis ex I never ended up coming out to.) and those had been people who claimed to love me. People I saw every day. And yet here were a bunch of drunk MCR fans seeing someone who was very obviously female, and femme, and wearing a very short dress. And not one assumed or made me feel wrong or bad about my gender or presentation.

More time passed after that night and more shows came and went. LA nights 1-4 came and were insane every time.

And then last night. LA night 5. Of course I had to livestream it. I sobbed for most of the show. And being in a discord that was also livestreaming this show, and on tumblr seeing what people were posting, meant I got to see this extreme outpouring of love from all of the fans. And also see the outpouring of love from MCR themselves to their fans and to each other.

And for the first time since… Well pretty much ever really for me, the world doesn’t seem dark. There is so much hope and love in this world and I just. I don’t have the words to describe how incredibly much it means to me. Ive been on the verge of happy tears all day.

When I was first in the fandom back during the danger days era, there was always the cliche of saying “MCR saved my life”. And I understand it now. Do I think they saved my life? No. I did that. I went through hell to make it where I am now and no one can take that away from me. The same way the members of the band had to tear down the band and go through their own brands of hell to get to where they all are and get to play these shows for us at all. We had to do that on our own. The band didn’t do that for us.

But at the same time? Seeing that show last night? My Chemical Romance absolutely made my life worth saving. And I really really hope it makes theirs too.

[guttersnarls]

Papal regalia, on-stage rituals and razzle-dazzle rock’n’roll: Why Ghost are the biggest Satanic band on the planet

 Independent 3/6/22

I ask if Forge identifies as a Satanist and without hesitation he opens up. “You know, Christianity is to blame for so much evil. And you have Isis, you know. That’s all in the name of God, right?” He goes on to say that modern Satanism is probably closest to his own belief system. “Pop cultural Satanism is all about humanity. It’s all about being able to express yourself and having the ability to. We’re f***ing humanists.” He goes on to say that he’s been invited onto TV debates with various religious leaders but always politely declines. “At the end of the day, I am an entertainer,” he reasons. “We’re here to make people happy, our goal is not to make [religious people] angry.

The wildly successful Swedish group are bringing fun and theatrics back to heavy metal. Jak Hutchcraft meets founder Tobias Forge to talk blasphemy, steampunk and their wild new album ‘Impera’ -

“What we’re trying to do is orchestrate a religious event, with all the bombastic nature of a mass, but without the guilt,” explains Tobias Forge, the enigmatic frontman of Swedish metal band Ghost, of a typical gig. “We want you to make you feel good about yourself when you leave.”

For well over a decade, Ghost have been doing a pretty good job of that. Spreading their joyous gospel far and wide, they’re currently in the middle of a massive global arena tour and have just graced the covers of heavy metal bibles Kerrang! and Metal Hammer. In a few days, they release Impera, their extravagant fifth album. They are both very big and very weird – fans of ultra-gothic face paint, expensive-looking masks and dressing up like The Pope. A recipe for cult success maybe, but how did Ghost get so popular?

Let’s go back to the start. This eight-piece metal band began in 2006 in the small, lakeside cathedral city of Linkoping in southern Sweden. Theatre enthusiast and songwriter Tobias Forge had been cutting his teeth in local glam and death metal bands since the mid Nineties, but had long dreamt of being part of something bigger.

What he came up with was the airtight concept of anonymous musicians dressed in papal regalia, flamboyant stage shows in the style of Iron Maiden, and classic rock-edged, AOR-inspired gothic metal. Forge’s aim was to bring the razzle-dazzle of Alice Cooper and Kiss to the 21st century, with softly sung lyrics gunning for organised religion and political corruption. In 2008, he posted three songs on MySpace. Within a year they were signed.

Since then Ghost (originally known as Ghost BC in the US) have released four critically acclaimed albums, won two Grammys and toured the world with Guns N’ Roses and Alice In Chains. They’ve even sold out the Royal Albert Hall. They’ve got plenty of rock star fans – including Dave Grohl, who produced a 2013 EP – but their most important achievement is the dedicated on-the-ground following they’ve cultivated, spanning hardcore kids, veteran rockers and emo teens.

It would be hard to pinpoint a typical Ghost devotee, due to the impressively broad range of fans they attract. You could say it’s a broad church. “Style-wise you have the metal heads and the not-so-metal heads, and the pop girls,” says Forge. “They like Star Wars, they like comic books, they like horror films. They like rock music with a slight nostalgia touch of the Seventies and Eighties.”

Ghost’s frontman and master of ceremonies is currently between gigs. The band played a sold-out show in Cincinnati last night and Forge is gearing up for Milwaukie in a few hours. After their epic American crusade, there’s a run of shows across the UK and Europe – including the 20,000 capacity O2 Arena – to further share the lavish sounds of Impera.

Its 12 tracks don’t stray too far from the extravagant metal of their previous records, full of dark sing-alongs and vintage songwriting that sounds as if rock never entered the Nineties. When it comes to inspiration, Forge name-checks artists as diverse as US punk trailblazers Bad Religion, singer-songwriter Tori Amos and Danish heavy metallers King Diamond. It’s a combination that makes Ghost truly unlike any of their contemporaries and Impera is the sound of a band at their musical peak. Try the gothic groove of single “Call Me Little Sunshine” – a highlight on an album that’s full of them. Not only will it make old fans rejoice, it’s the perfect starting place for the curious and uninitiated.

“On this record, we are in a kind of Victorian industrialism,” Forge explains of the concept behind the new LP. “It’s the late 1800s and there’s no city that fully embodies that more than London, so it’s set there.”

In January the band projected huge, eerie images onto landmarks in the capital, including St Paul’s Cathedral and the Tower of London, to promote the record. Forge cites Tim Burton’s Batman and Bram Stoker’s Dracula as inspirations for the semi-fantasy world of Impera, while closing track “Respite on the Spitalfields” is a story of companionship and fear in the time of Jack the Ripper.

“Not only is it a visually pleasing and interesting era, but it’s similar to today in the sense that the world was also going through a big industrial revolution,” explains Forge, channeling this historian within. “People were made redundant, but back then there were a lot of other jobs. Nowadays, for every invention, for every app that some asshole comes up with, there are so many people who are made completely superfluous. That is not good for humanity.”

Speaking of redundancies, Ghost have gone through four incarnations of Forge’s frontman character over the years. First he was Papa Emeritus I, dressed as a wicked Pope with skeletal black and white makeup, then he became Papa Emeritus II, before Papa Emeritus III and Papa Nihil. Each character is dramatically killed off or replaced at the end of each album campaign, with the new character foreshadowing and teasing the theme of the next record. Impera is the first to see Forge performing as Cardinal Copia aka Papa Emeritus IV, complete with bejeweled robes and immaculate corpse paint.

For the first 11 years of the band’s career, Forge was an anonymous and unnamed frontman, further adding to the mystery of Ghost. But his anonymity was brought to an abrupt end in 2017 when four ex-Ghost bandmates tried to sue him for allegedly cheating them out of their share of profits. Forge maintains that they had “no legal contract” and were paid as session musicians. He won the case but in the process lost the mystique he’d meticulously maintained for over a decade. In 2019 he was quoted as having “slightly mixed emotions” about being unmasked. Now he barely gives it a second thought. The unexpected big reveal made little impact on the hold Ghost have on the imaginations of their fans – if anything, it seems to have brought them even more attention.

The fans – who are known as “Ghuleh” if women and “Ghouls” if men – can often be seen dressed in homemade Ghost-inspired attire at gigs; flowing robes, painted faces and ceremonial masks. I ask Forge about his vision and intentions for the live shows, known within the community as “Rituals”.

“Well, it’s theatrical. We are sort of the opposite of Pearl Jam, in that way,” he laughs. The dark side of divinity drives Forge’s creativity. “I’ve always had an intense relationship with organised, linear religion, let’s put it that way. I’m very fascinated with the art and the history of it, but maybe not so much with the rules and the blame and the guilt.”

Ghost’s flirtations with religion have caused some bumps in the road. In 2018, a Christian group prayed outside a gig in Texas, accusing Ghost of “bringing glory to Satan”, and their second album Infestissumam was delayed because manufacturers refused to print its “blasphemous” artwork. I ask Forge whether this kind of reaction is an issue as they continue to ascend into the rock mainstream. “A lot of that [Christian backlash] sort of disappeared after the Eighties,” he shrugs. “You had the crazies or the pastors on TV who came out and said ‘Don’t go and see Ozzy Osbourne! He’s the devil’s advocate!’ But all that did was sell out the show and maybe sell 500,000 more records. They learned their lesson after that.”

I ask if Forge identifies as a Satanist and without hesitation he opens up. “You know, Christianity is to blame for so much evil. And you have Isis, you know. That’s all in the name of God, right?” He goes on to say that modern Satanism is probably closest to his own belief system. “Pop cultural Satanism is all about humanity. It’s all about being able to express yourself and having the ability to. We’re f***ing humanists.” He goes on to say that he’s been invited onto TV debates with various religious leaders but always politely declines. “At the end of the day, I am an entertainer,” he reasons. “We’re here to make people happy, our goal is not to make [religious people] angry.”

It’s true that the world of Ghost is a fun one. There’s a playfulness in their on-stage theatrics, catchy choruses and shock ‘n’ roll celebration. As pop’s major players endlessly share personal content on social media, mystery and myth seem hard to come by. But Ghost have resurrected rock’s arcane and exciting distant past; the epitome of a creative vision well-executed, a cult-following captivated, and the longevity and success that comes with both.

Impera is released 11 March

[songofclarity]

Seeing several well-meaning fans point out how Jiang Cheng going into seclusion is rather positive because seclusion is where you cultivate to immortality and strengthen your inner self and find peace, etc., is amusingly similar to that tumblr thread about the children's hospital and color theory.

In color theory, the color red traditionally represents strength and passion. Red does appear to have more positive meanings than negatives ones. Red is a fine color choice for interior decorating!

But when you see the actual paint job, the method in which the children's hospital used that red paint makes it look like someone dragged a dead body all across the floor and left a bloody trail behind.

So yes, seclusion can be a good and empowering thing in theory! But that is not really how the donghua used it to conclude Jiang Cheng's story.

The donghua is an adaption and it had the original source material right in front of it that the donghua team opted to ignore. We do, in fact, know exactly what Jiang Cheng did after the core reveal in the novel:

1. He ran off in a crazed panic to confirm what Wen Ning said was true by asking anyone he could find to unsheathe Suibian. Jiang Cheng's first response was ACTION and to verify. And it was a very public action at that as even Jin Guangyao, already making his escape, had heard about this within a day, which is faster than most people heard about Jin Guangyao's death.

2. When it was reported that Jin Ling had run off from Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng immediately dropped everything to go and find him. Jin Ling was a PRIORITY over Jiang Cheng's own internal crisis.

So the donghua was grossly unfaithful to Jiang Cheng's characterization by having him behave so passively and, essentially, putting himself before Jin Ling by picking seclusion. No one ever puts Jiang Cheng first, least of all Jiang Cheng, which is why the golden core reveal is as painful as it is healing. ("Congratulations! Your brother loves you!")

The last time we see Jiang Cheng is no longer him calmly and almost peacefully leaving for home with Jin Ling at his side, per the novel and CQL, but rather him crying all alone on a dock of Lotus Pier as he is left behind (again). A few days later, people are just starting to hear that Jin Guangyao is dead, the Lanling Jin Sect have some rough times ahead, Jiang Cheng has gone into seclusion over something, and Lan Xichen will need some time to recover. Jiang Cheng's fate has been grouped with all the tragedies and misfortunes, which are set in opposition to Nie Huaisang's impressive change. There is nothing empowering or peaceful about this transition because the storytelling here is that Jiang Cheng has not recovered from the golden core reveal and all its implications.

More so, Jin Ling's distressed response also suggests that Jiang Cheng's actions do not come from a positive place.

Yes, the clarity bell is a wonderful and meaningful object! It is a fine gift for Jiang Cheng's nephew!

But that is NOT how the the donghua used it! Jiang Cheng's gift appears to hurt Jin Ling, who immediately runs away with his arm over his eyes as if he was crying.

For all we know, that might be Jiang Cheng's personal clarity bell and he has sent it to Jin Ling because the bell has proved useless to him. This would suggest the seclusion is meant to be more of a permanent one.

Jin Ling has thus not only lost his parents, but both of his uncles as parental figures.

As if Jiang Cheng would ever do that to him.

But the donghua really went above and beyond to insult and punish Jiang Cheng in every possible way and I hate that this doesn't even cover half of the damage.

[jumukus]

A3! Translation: Spring Troupe’s Interview From Documentary Book’s “Moment of Spring”

Translation under the cut.

First of all, while looking at the photos on the cover, please tell us what happened on the day you took them.

Sakuya: It was a frame of the Spring Troupe's spring!

Chikage: I wonder if Sakuya was holding Hina dolls in his photo.

Citron: Oh, I know that! Isn't that the thing that was born while chirping after you kept it warm for three days and three nights?

Tsuzuru: It's not that "Hina."

Itaru: It's a different Hina.

Masumi: ...These ugly Hina dolls are put in the theater lobby.

Sakuya: Wow, Masumi-kun! You sure have a sharp eye.

Masumi: It’s because Director and I helped decorate them there.

Sakuya: Oh, I see. To tell you the truth, it was all due to Manager saying that the theater lobby felt kind of empty. And given that it's March, we decided to decorate the lobby with Hina Festival-themed items.

Tsuzuru: Not to mention that a lot of the audience members are girls.

Chikage: The Masumi in this photo… Was he about to give a present to Director?

Itaru: That expression is exclusive for Director only. He's so easy to read.

Tsuzuru: If I remember correctly, this was taken during White Day. I remember seeing him grinning ear to ear while staring at the present in our room.

Masumi: I was imagining Director's reaction after I gave her that present. I was sure she'd be surprised but at the same time so happy she couldn't stop laughing… Then, she'd blissfully say, "Thank you. I'll treasure it."

Itaru: Surprised but so happy she couldn't stop laughing?

Citron: Now I'm curious about what your present is!

Sakuya: So was she happy about the present?

Masumi: Not telling. It was a memory that only me and Director share.

Citron: Aw, Masumi is a cheapskate~.

Sakuya: Meanwhile… things seemed to be lively in Tsuzuru-kun's photo!

Tsuzuru: My brothers started fighting when I was making sakura mochi for our cherry blossom viewing. I know I should've just left them be since they're always fighting, but… I couldn't help but speak out.

Chikage: You're truly a natural born big brother, handling this kind of thing by reflexes.

Citron: Is that a carnation you were holding, Itaru?

Masumi: For mother's day?

Itaru: Yep. I was planning to buy flowers and stop by my home. My sister apparently predicted this and asked me to buy her sweets. I was talking to her in the photo. They're all very popular stores that can have people waiting in line. But well, they have pretty tolerable prices…

Masumi: Looking at your expression, you should have found some excuses to refuse her.

Itaru: You could say that because you don't how my sister is when she's mad…

Citron: I want to meet Itaru's rumored sister one day!

Masumi: ...Citron's pose looked weird in this one.

Sakuya: Whoa, the bamboo shoots are big!

Citron: I call it, "ever-growing bamboo shoots" pose~. The greengrocer uncle from the shopping district gave those fine bamboo shoots to me!

Tsuzuru: You really are the idol of the shopping district… As long as Citron-san is here, looks like we don't need to worry about hunger issue. It's already been taken care of without us knowing.

Itaru: Last one is senpai… Huh? Is it really okay to have your photo like this? You were in the middle of doing some dangerous side jobs in this one, right?

Chikage: What do you take me for? As you can see, I was making a helmet with origami.

Masumi: I saw this helmet in the theater lobby. It was so symmetrical and terrifyingly well-made.

Tsuzuru: It felt like that helmet brought out Chikage-san's personality.

Citron: We all were enjoying spring and taking a very blissful shot!

Sakuya: That's right! Spring is indeed such a lovely season!

Then, as we looked back at your plays up until the sixth one, please tell us an event that left the most impression on you.

Citron: It would take forever, you know! We have a loooot of memories together, though I think the turning point of Spring Troupe was during our debut and fourth play.

Tsuzuru: During our debut play, we were all still beginners in theater and were still figuring out everything. Chikage-san joined us during our fourth play and we became a six-member group… I've gotta admit we underwent a major change as a troupe that time.

Sakuya: In addition, it was during the preparation for these two plays that we slept on the stage together!

Tsuzuru: The first time we did it was because Yuzo-san roasted us so bad, so we decided to sleep onstage to understand the play better. During our fourth play, we already invited Chikage-san but since he had work to do, we couldn't do it...

Masumi: But when we headed to the theater for our morning practice, these two were sleeping. Thus, I slept too.

Itaru: We were so noisy at that time so I figured you'd wake up soon, but… you sure slept like a log, huh, senpai?

Chikage: I still woke up in the end since your snoring was too loud, though.

Itaru: Seriously?

Masumi: You do look like the type who snores loudly.

Chikage: Joking aside… back then, I was surprised when I woke up and found you all there.

Citron: Oh, so our prank was a big success in the end! I wanna throw another slumber party with you all~.

Sakuya: Me too! I want to chat about a lot of things with you all!

Masumi: About love?

Itaru: I have a feeling Masumi's gonna monopolize that talk.

Tsuzuru: Heck yeah…

Chikage: That sounds fun. Why not?

Now that all of you have experienced becoming the leading actors, please tell us what kind of roles or performance you want to have.

Chikage: Since we have Tsuzuru here, it wouldn't hurt to say whatever we want, right?

Tsuzuru: You have a point, and it can also be a motivation to act. For the time being, I'd like to hear what you want to do...

Citron: In that case, I wanna appear in a Japanese style play!

Itaru: ...Ah, in that case, don't you think adding fantasy element to the play will be cool? Like a youkai-themed play.

Tsuzuru: Some amazing suggestions came right at the very beginning… But well, given that we rarely deliver a Japanese style play, I think it may turn good.

Masumi: Then, I want to take on a knight role. Obviously, the one playing the princess will be--.

Tsuzuru: Since we already have KniRoun that had similar sense, I don't think we'll do that now.

Masumi: If so--.

Tsuzuru: Not a bridegroom role. If we're going to do a play set at a wedding hall, then we'll also have one of Spring Troupe members crossdress to play the bride.

Chikage: Tsuzuru crossdressing, huh… That's kind of new.

Sakuya: It may fit him, surprisingly.

Tsuzuru: Why me!? I'm banning you all from raising random flags!

Citron: Do you have any roles you want to play, Chikage?

Chikage: A role I want to play, huh… Since I've only performed three plays at the moment, there's nothing in particular.

Itaru: How about taking a non-glasses character once more? All of your characters are wearing glasses except Gawain.

Masumi: Playing a glasses character once per two plays?

Sakuya: But I feel like Chikage-san can pull of any kind of characters!

Tsuzuru: Well, yeah. Since you're good at stage combat… I think giving you another role with lots of action will be a great idea.

Chikage: Exercising is one of my fortes, so I'll do my best if you give me one. How about you, Sakuya?

Sakuya: ...It's not really a role, but I want to deliver a play with everyone in the theater troupe someday!

Itaru: That means the main cast will consist of 24 people.

Citron: Oh, it sounds very fun! I want to do it too!

Masumi: I support that idea. That way, we'll have less lines. Tsuzuru will probably die, though.

Itaru: That'll be Tsuzuru's posthumous work…

Tsuzuru: Please stop saying things that will bring bad luck like that! I do admit I feel like the Sanzu River comes into view, though! ...But well, I want to do that too one day. I have a feeling I can write a piece that I've never written until this day.

Sakuya: Whoa… I'm already looking forward to see what kind of characters and story that you'll come up with!

Chikage: So can I expect this piece to be your masterpiece?

Itaru: This'll be a piece that continues to be handed down in Japan's theater industry.

Citron: Non, non! It'll be a piece that easily sweeps the top categories at International Theater Awards.

Tsuzuru: H-Hey, I haven't even started writing it! Please stop raising the bar!

I'd also like to ask about your personal stories. Given that this book is dedicated to "Moments of Spring Troupe", can you tell us what kind of thing that is currently popular within your troupe?

Itaru: If I have to choose, I think it's Zahra's board game--the one that Prince Tangerine gave us as a souvenir during the sixth play.

Masumi: The game requires each of us to cultivate the uninhabited islands in Zahra, develop it and do some tradings.

Sakuya: The player with the most territories will be declared the winner at the end of the game! The game is so interesting that it has become our daily routine to play it once we're done with rehearsals!

Citron: I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the game! I also have a game that I'd like to recommend to you all, you see! I'll have Guy get it next time!

Chikage: Last time I checked there's also a game in which you become a spices merchant and get rich, right? I'm a little bit curious about that one.

Tsuzuru: No, I don't think the Zahra Kingdom has that kind of ga--.

Citron: I expected no less from Chikage! You even know that game! OK, I'll have them send that too!

Itaru: Wow, it does exist…

Last but not least, please send a message to the fans who are always supporting Spring Troupe.

Sakuya: On behalf of Spring Troupe… I'd like to thank you all for always supporting us! Before we knew it, we already held six plays. It was all thanks to your support that we were able to deliver this number of plays. Even if it's only one, we'll be happy if you have scenes or lines from our plays that are unforgettable to you. For our next play, we promise to give everything we can to deliver a beautiful performance to you all. Therefore--

Spring Troupe: Thank you for your continuous support!

T/N:

*Hina doll shares the same kanji as chick (雛) hence the misunderstanding.

**For those who don't know, Hina Festival is usually held on March 3.

***In Japanese myths, the Sanzu River is a river that people are said to cross on the seventh day after their death.

[colleendoran]

Wishing that this New Year sees many bright changes and brings all of you hope and clarity.

 I know many people are suffering, and I am deeply sorry for your troubles. I know we are all pushing as hard as we can to get through this crisis, both physically and spiritually.

 I am very grateful for all the support and friendship I have found here. I have plenty of work, and being able to work at home means that I have not faced the issues many others face. I didn’t lose any major jobs: in fact, I had to let a few smaller jobs go because I could not fit them in, more due to my distress over world events distracting and discouraging me than anything else. It was very difficult to get out of bed in the morning for awhile.

 I know many artists depend on the convention circuit for income, and have taken a serious hit because they are not able to go to shows and sell prints. Again, I’m lucky because this hasn’t affected me much as I make most of my income in publishing.

 A year or so ago, someone came to this page to lecture me about how I would never have fallen into debt if I had been better about money management. According to him, I should join some sort of debtor’s anonymous group.

 I fell into debt because of chronic illness, not because of my being a spendthrift.

 Now that my health issue is well managed, I work regularly, steadily, and am doing well. My debt has evaporated. Between the wonderful success of my books over the last few years, and my Patreon support (which, BTW, is not a charity, I have one of the most productive Patreons on the site,) I’ve turned my situation around. I get to devote all of my time in 2021 to amazing projects (especially finishing A DISTANT SOIL,) and to not have to worry about the wolf at the door. I work very hard to make my Patreon worthwhile, and I am truly grateful to all the fans and readers who support me there and who buy my books. https://www.patreon.com/ColleenDoran

 But I can’t help thinking about That Guy when I think of all the people who are now out of work due to this crisis. People with chronic illness endure years of distress and uncertainty. In one year, this crisis did to millions what the chronically ill face year after year, decade after decade. Without substantial cash reserves and the ability to make money from home, many have been wiped out in a matter of weeks.

 Because I have always been self employed and fairly frugal, I endured many years of low productivity and low income until I was lucky enough to get a proper diagnosis and treatment and to come out on the other side.

Millions of people around the world now face mounting medical bills and devastating health issues because of COVID. Long COVID patients have symptoms very similar to the ones I’ve experienced off and on since 1983. You have no idea just how awful that is until you get endure it. For weeks. Then months. Then years.

 Because I work from home, because I know how to handle long dry periods of work and income, because I carefully invest, because I have built goodwill with my public and cultivated multiple income streams, I can deal with all of this.

 But many people can’t.

 I think there’s a tendency to victim blame over issues like this because people are sure that if they just do all the right things and tick all the right boxes, nothing bad will ever happen to them. People deserve bad things because they’re bad.

 But if, in my case, I walk through this crisis like I just walked across a firepit without getting singed, does that mean I’m a good person?

 No. It just means I am used to living like this and am prepared because I can be. Not everyone has the same set of choices.

 Not everyone is suffering because they didn’t put their money in the bank.

 The good and the bad have good luck and bad luck. It’s no reflection on who they are as people.

 Making all the right choices is just swell, but no one gets magic armor by doing so. You just get an expanded array of possible benefits.

 Which is a plus. But not a guarantee.

 Have a great year.

 And truly…thanks again.

 But don’t be That Guy.

[d6official]

DAY6: ‘We’ve Always Wanted to Go to India’

The South Korean rock band open about their songwriting process, their aspirations for future records, the definition of authenticity in a world that often dismisses artistry in K-pop and India

I caught up with DAY6 a few months ago via Skype–I’m told the quintet are in the middle of shooting new content for their fans and are dressed in their looks for a video, so it has to be an audio call. I can’t see them and they can’t see me, so of course there’s a lot of giggling, whispering, and moments of ominous silence that then have us all breaking into laughter together. It’s awkward, hilarious and everything you’d imagine a call with DAY6 to be. 

It’s towards the end of the year so there’s a lot going on in the band’s schedule, but they’re an unstoppable force, flying across the globe to complete performances in the U.S. and in Australia. It’s a pretty rare thing to have all five members be able to join in on a single call, so I’m happy to hear all their voices greet me. “We’ve just been on tour and we’re having a good tour so far,” says vocalist and guitarist Jae. “Everyone’s been really welcoming in their countries and really just turning up for us, so we’re happy.” 

DAY6 debuted in September 2015 with leader and guitarist Sungjin, bassist Young K, guitarist Jae, keyboardist Wonpil and drummer Dowoon. All members are trained vocalists, with Young K also doubling as main rapper, and every member contributes to songwriting and production. (The group did have a sixth member, a keyboardist named Junhyeok, but he left in 2016.) Young K also leads the songwriting process, with lyrical contribution in every single track on most of DAY6’s albums. 

The beauty of DAY6’s artistry lies in how versatile they are able to make each track within a single album–in one moment you’re listening to a stadium anthem that’s reminiscent of a young U2, and in the next there’s a segue into Killers-esque post-punk revival. If you’ve been a long-time fan, you probably already know this thanks to their genius ‘Every DAY6’ project through 2017, which saw the band release two songs on the sixth day of almost every month. The result? An expansive, experimentative discography which built two powerful albums– Sunrise and Moonrise–with B-sides that shine just as much as a lead single. Jae explains that there usually isn’t a set idea when they begin an album–a lot of the music is born through songwriting sessions with various producers, where each member gets to go explore any genre they want on their own. It’s a power they’re exercising more and more, especially all through the Book of Us series. “We didn’t really discuss a direction when we started,” Jae says. “Everyone just kind of did what we wanted, which is why the album is a jumble of this and that from everywhere.” In fact songs have a tendency to switch genres in between verses–a great example of this is DAY6’s 2017 single “I Wait.”

The group also credit the genius of JYP Entertainment producer Hong Jisang as a key factor in their creative process. “I think definitely one of our main influences is probably gonna be one of our main producers and that’s Hong Jisang,” says Jae when I ask the band about their musical influences. “He’s a writer that works with us very frequently. For most of our title tracks–actually all of them I think so far. But yeah, he’s definitely one of the main influences because he’s always been kind of our mentor since the beginning of our debut dates… even before that. So he’s been teaching us about songwriting, you know, tracking or melody writing. We have a little bit of a flow just because we’ve grown so close to him as a group.”

“Just one of the reasons why we try any kind of genre or any music is because people do have different tastes in music,” explains Young K. “So if they like at least one of them, then it’s a success for us. Another reason is because we do get to play almost all of them, almost all [their songs] at the concert. So, we do have a chance to show it to the MyDays and the crowd and you get a chance to have fun with it. And I guess it’s just what we aim for as a group.” They’ve stood strong and stuck to their guns when it comes to this process of songwriting and it’s the fuel that expands their creative process, ensuring they don’t stick to one particular sound or vibe.  

I remember back in 2016 when DAY6 began to get more popular, a lot of the attention around them was built of curiosity. As the first band under JYP Entertainment and the one of the first in the third generation of K-pop, both fans and industry professionals were curious to see where the Hallyu Wave would take them. The idea of an ‘idol rock band’ was new to the thousands of fans who had discovered K-pop after the 2016 boom of the genre, and DAY6 didn’t fit any existing stereotype–idol or band. They still don’t, and it’s a powerful statement.

This particular artistic evolution that we’ve seen with DAY6 isn’t easy to achieve in the K-pop idol-sphere of it all; our discussion about artistry in the glittering world of idol culture brings us to the topic of what it’s like to exist as what people believe to be a ‘traditional’ band in the middle of the ‘boy band narrative.’ I ask because it’s something I see often even in India–there’s this idea of authenticity always being tied to the more ‘conventional’ format of a band: artists with their instruments are deemed more ‘legit’ than pop acts. There is an unfortunate tendency among the general public to dismiss artistry created by pop stars and K-pop idols. DAY6 walk the line between the two worlds, and their path to finding that balance often demands a seesaw from one side to another. Have they ever faced a dismissal of their artistry because they’re idols who are also a band? 

“That’s a very deep question,” says Sungjin. There’s a long pause as he gathers his words and then continues, “I personally haven’t seen that big of a difference. We, as a team that emphasizes on writing songs and writing music to appeal to other people, feel that everyone who writes songs or does music has the same objective and goal, therefore [artistry] is the same thing [for every musician.] So we’re not trying to focus on those kinds of factors but just try to focus instead on our music and our creation process so that we could become more authentic artists that appeal to more people.” 

And what is DAY6’s definition of authenticity? 

“When the person who’s creating the music legitimately feels like it’s good music,” says Sungjin firmly.

Right now the authenticity in their songwriting comes from the ordinary. Lead lyricist Young K explains the members draw from everyday experiences and conversations to write songs that are relatable, raw and honest. “Lyrics wise, I could say, we got very cleaned up and very neat. During the times of Every DAY6 project, we were out of time all the time throughout the year,” he says with a laugh. “So, it gave me the lesson of like, always being prepared to write lyrics so that I could pick out a way to find motivation or inspiration. I don’t wait for that inspiration, I gotta always go look for it. For example during everyday conversation, if there’s something or if there’s a word if there’s a phrase that I like, I write it down on my phone.” He pauses for a moment and then sheepishly admits, “To be really honest, I haven’t been doing that for months now. I need to get back on it.” He also says rather than listening to new music, skimming through lyrics is always his go-to move when it comes to evolving his style of storytelling. “So I guess it’s just continuous experiences that helped me to grow and, like you said, evolve.”

I ask the band which of their songs they would recommend to a new listener to help them understand DAY6’s artistry, and there’s a collective hum as they contemplate. “That’s a really difficult question,” says Wonpil. “Maybe ‘You Were Beautiful?’” The rest of the band agree wholeheartedly, and feel the 2017 rock ballad does a great job of summing up who DAY6 are. It’s certainly a fantastic example of the band’s powerful songwriting and their uncanny ability to to delve into topics that are at times a little too real, a little too familiar. 

DAY6’s complex Book of Us series of albums have dealt mainly with the various levels of human interactions, emotions and relationships, each volume diving deeper into the complexities of what makes us who we are. The ‘Us’ in the titles can refer to DAY6 themselves, the relationship between them and their fandom MyDay as well as various other relationships the members might have in their lives. It’s also a general reference to the relationships we as human beings cultivate in our lives. The first album in the series The Book of Us: Gravity was one of their brightest releases, exploring youth and young love. The Book of Us: Entropy was a little heavier, a little more mature, exploring the beginning and end of relationships and how it changes a person. 

The band’s upcoming release of The Book of Us: The Demon is perhaps their most anticipated release yet. Set to drop tomorrow, May 11th, the eight-track EP already hints at a slightly darker route than its predecessors with its title, promising a deeper look into the core meaning of the series. The teaser for the lead single “Zombie” which dropped on May 8th shows the band wandering dazed through crowds while the track itself seems to build on angsty alt rock. DAY6 also dropped an album sampler that hints The Demon cruises through pop rock (“Day and Night”), blues (“Tick Tock”), post-punk revival (“Stop”), acoustic pop (“Afraid”) and more.

In true DAY6 style however, the tracks can change direction in-between, crossing genres from one verse to another. It’s all a surprise right up until we hear the record, which is one of the best things about listening to a new release from this band. While I’m not told any specifics, I’m assured that DAY6 plan to go bigger than ever before when it comes to future releases.  “We want to go to space!” exclaims Dowoon and the band agree enthusiastically. How does space translate sonically? “We want to go for a larger scale of music,” he explains. It’s about dreaming bigger and looking at ways to elevate DAY6’s musicianship. Jae adds, “Yeah, maybe going from just one acoustic guitar to like a full brass band or something.” We discuss possibilities of DAY6 working with an orchestra someday and it’s a pretty fantastic vision. 

Speaking of future plans, I decide to put them on the spot and ask about when we’re getting an India tour. “Whenever you guys call us, we are definitely there!” Jae assures me immediately. Young K and Wonpil explain they are familiar with Bollywood and eager to learn more about it. “I am aware it’s huge there. And recently Katy Perry did something with Bollywood?” asks Young K. We realize he’s referring to the pop diva’s massive November concert in Mumbai with Dua Lipa and he shares that it’s one of the reasons DAY6 are more eager to check out India’s concert scene. “Yeah, I actually heard it from my friend. They were telling me, ‘Yo, you should go to India’ and like wherever it is, we always want to go. If there are people who are willing to listen to us and enjoy with us at the concert, we want to go.” Jae adds, “You guys have a lot of people and for us it’s a new culture and we are always interested in going to different places and seeing new things, trying different foods… naturally the food! So yes, we’ve always wanted to go to India, so call us!” 

We spend the rest of our allotted time together talking planning a show in India for 2020 and although COVID-19 has postponed these plans for now, it’s something the band believe needs to happen. “We definitely wanna see you guys,” says Young K. “It’s always great to go to new places. Until the time that we meet, we want you guys to stay healthy and happy.”

By Riddhi Chakraborty

©️Rolling Stone India

[dragonrajafanfiction]

The New Student Council President

Lu Mingfei took over as the chairman of the Student Union because Caesar graduated.

Caesar is two level higher than him. He graduated not long after returning from Japan. According to the arrangement of the Gattuso family,  he was sent to the agency of the Executive Ministry in Italy as a commissioner.

(The following text is taken directly from the novel and is a good translation.)

At that time, Lu Mingfei still had no illusions of grandeur. He was just like everyone else, standing under the stage with a sliced Spanish ham in his mouth, listening to the others.

This candidate, according to Caesar’s own statement , “is undoubtedly the best person after Chu Zihang and I. When he first entered the school, I was determined to win him for the Student Union. Someone would take him, and whereever he is, he’ll advance. I have been on several missions with him, and his performance always meets my expectations. He is gradually improving in terms of taste and cultivation. For example, he is now already interested in Spanish ham...”

Lu Mingfei still chewed on the bread stick with the rolled ham and began to ask what had gotten into him. Since when was he the boss’s protege?

Then Caesar said, “If I only recognize his excellence, it won’t convince everyone. But the principal also values him very much. The S-level evaluation is one of the few in the history of the college!”

Lu Mingfei signed in his heart, because he seems to have been the only one for 30 or 40 years.

“Then please put your hands together for the star of this college, Ricard M. Lu, as he joins me on stage!” Caesar reached out to him.

Spotlights came from all directions, illuminating his dumbfounded look with the breadstick in his mouth, putting his ridiculous spectacle in full focus.

When he was in high school, he was full of anger with nowhere to vent, he wanted to be the focus of everyone’s eyes. At that time, there was always Chu Zihang’s saxophone solo at the school’s Spring Festival gala. Lu Mingfei was very envious. Looking at the profile of Chu Zihang in the spotlight, he said in his heart that if he were so good, wearing such a cool performance costume with the golden tassels on his shoulders....

Unfortunately, he had no “talent” at all. It wasn’t his turn to be on stage. 

One year after he finally got involved in the student union, he wanted to be an extra in the group dance session. The teacher crushed that dream because everyone else was wearing leather shoes. He was the only one who wore sneakers, because he didn’t have any. In the end, he could only stay in the light room, flip the switch according to the teacher’s instructions, and let the spotlight shine on the students who appeared on the stage one by one, watching them spin with the girls.

But now? Damn, now he just wants to chew on bread sticks and be a quiet pretty boy.

He and Caesar stood side by side on the stage and Caesar held his shoulders tight. The flashes of cameras were going off nonstop, recording the historic moment of the handover from the old to the new chairman.

“Boss,” Lu Mingfei said bitterly, “I really can’t be the chairman of the Student Union.”

“No one is born to be the Chairman of the Student Union, so you can practice.” Caesar waved to the crowd with the graceful demeanor of a politician.

“Why did you choose me?”

“Do you remember my Student Union Dance Group?”

“I remember.” Of course, Lu Mingfei remembers that White Skirts girl group. It was composed of the most select girls with the best appearance among the freshmen, the brightest pearl in all departments of the Student Union.

“It’s a bit uneasy to leave them to others...”

No way! This was about leaving his harem of ladies with him?

However, the Student Union is also an organization with regulations. It is not run by Gattuso. The successor is not designated by Caesar. So after the photo op is over, Caesar looked around the audience and said, “Let’s simplify the voting process. Please agree with Lu Mingfei.” 

The ministers who were in charge of succession raised their hands.

Lu Mingfei muttered. “Boss, you’re playing with me right? You’re seriously playing with me? What am I in the Student Union? All your ministers are my seniors! How am I supposed to persuade them  to follow me like they follow you?

“Brother Lu Mingfei! We love you!” The head of the dance troupe of the Student Union took the lead in raising his hand.

Next is the down-to-earth and determined logistics minister. “I agree with Brother Lu Mingfei to be the next chairman!”

Followed by the sailing department, skiing department, mountaineering department, and motorcycle department. During Caesar’s reign, the student Union annexed many fan clubs in the college and reorganized them into departments of the Student Union. The enthusiasm of the scene and the unanimous opinions reminded Lu Mingfei of choosing the monitor when they were in high school.

The teacher said that so-and-so is the class leader, does everyone agree? Everyone raised their hands in unison and cast a gleeful look at the hapless candidate. By the time they got to high school, everyrone understood that it was not a good job to be a monitor. You didn’t get any extra points for the college entrance exam.

However, the Chairman of the Student Union is, of course, very gold-rich. Lu Mingfei passed with a high number of votes. In addition to the strong recommendation of Caesar, most of the Student Union departments replaced their ministers with new ones - mainly second year students. This group of people grew up listening to the legend of the “only S-class on campus”...

Finally, in front of all the cadres of the student union, Caesar put the century old dark blue velvet cloak on Lu Mingfei’s shoulders and struck him on the shoulder three times with the saber passed from the previous session.

In this way, Lu Mingfei inherited the chairmanship of the Student Union, which is basically equal to inheriting his father’s career to the end.

Lu Mingfei also knew in his heart Caesar’s talk about how the so-called harem could not be trusted to others? That was just that... talk. Caesar left him the seat of chairman out of friendship, friendship forged in the seemingly endless storm in Japan.

Besides, he may have hoped Mingfei wouldn’t worry about his fiancee if inherited all the prettiest girls in the college....

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan: Extraordinary Journey, Starting from This

Translator’s Note: This article comes from Harper’s Bazaar Oct 2019 Side Issue.

To Xiao Zhan, the Summer of 2019 was destined to belong to “The Untamed”. The drama’s popularity and high viewership garnered Xiao Zhan, who was the lead role in “The Untamed” as “Wei Wuxian”, the most attention of this summer. Our extraordinary journey shall stop its time in the summer. The Abu Dhabi Emirates Palace Hotel glistens under the brilliant sunlight. This grand palace, costing 3 billion USD, carries with it the lovely dreams of the United Arab Emirates (UAE), with hopes that it will become a local landmark building. Whereas for us, this is where we will start our extraordinary journey.

This summer was very hot, and there was not a single shower that was memorable.

We strolled on the Sir Bani Yas Island, the “Noah’s Ark” of Abu Dhabi, the capital of UAE, measuring 5,963km away from Beijing, with ground temperatures at 45°C.

If there were really a “Noah’s Ark”, it probably looked like Sir Bani Yas Island. It carried the hopes of the founding father of UAE – in its history, the clan family of UAE used their enormous wealth on this desert island and created the biggest wild animal reserve; they grew more than 3.5m fruit trees on this arid land and carefully cultivated them everyday; they brought in more than 30 different endangered species onto this island for release.

Xiao Zhan was just 20 meters away from a 4 day old giraffe calf. The young calf stumbled ahead, learning its steps. This was the first time Xiao Zhan was up close to a wild giraffe. Everyone was bending low and looking down, moving carefully and silently, so that we would not provoke the alert mother giraffe. The guide informed us that these seemingly gentle animals actually have a irritable temper, and an angry giraffe could easily kill a grown lion with their kicks. As our jeep got closer to them, the hidden giraffes became clearer, and we saw 5 to 6 adult giraffes surrounding the trees, quietly eating the leaves. Under the sunlight, Xiao Zhan slowly moved closer, until he was standing next to them, quietly observing them, and enjoying the rare peace and serenity of this summer.

“Packing my bags for an unknown journey”

The Summer of 2019 was destined to belong to “The Untamed”. This web drama, adapted from “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation”, became one of the hottest topic online after a few days of broadcast. Xiao Zhan, who starred as “Wei Wuxian” in the drama, also became one of the hottest names of this summer.

The first time Xiao Zhan performed on stage was on X-Fire, a talent search show, as an amateur contestant. Thereafter, the first real big performance was when he was part of the performance for Zhejiang New Year Eve broadcast. After multiple rehearsals, as he stood onstage and the spotlights came on with a “pa” sound. Instantly, his mind went blank, and he said that his movements were entirely based on survival instincts.

“I remembered I was especially nervous, and when I was backstage, I was so nervous that I was shaking nonstop, I could not say a word. When the spotlights came onto us, there was one or two seconds of memory loss, as in my mind went blank. After that I had no choice, I saw that my teammates got into their positions, so I quickly walked to mine.”

To the amateur Xiao Zhan then, the entertainment business was all glitz and glory – an interesting world filled with the unknown. Only after he really entered the business, he realized that everyone had to put in a lot of effort in order to gain a little bit of attention. After entering an idol group, Xiao Zhan spent a great deal of effort practicing singing and dancing, wanting to use hard work to catch up with the others’ professional training – once he practiced until his toe nail came off, but even then, he never stopped. His character is warm but tenacious, when he encounters difficulties he rarely speaks of them, instead he will learn to cope, he always says “it will be fine after a night’s rest”, and continue to fight the next day. In 2017, he joined the production of two dramas consecutively, “Battle Through the Heavens” 《斗破苍穹》 and “The Wolf” 《狼殿下》. These two dramas opened the doors to an actor’s world to him. From the first scene until the last, from the winters of Shangri-La to the hot summers of the Elephant Mountains, his exhausted body could not contain his itching desire to become an actor. He was deeply fascinated by the roles and lives of the people in the scripts.

When he first received the script for “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan felt that he was totally different from “Wei Wuxian”. Xiao Zhan is not a talkative person, instead, he is a very quiet person. When they were script reading for the first time, the producer was there as well, and Xiao Zhan had to continuously remind himself that “I am Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian is me, I am WeiWuxian, I am now a very lively talkative person, I have to make everyone adore me”. After establishing this belief, he blended into his character, and allowed the character’s emotions and his merge into one. After the broadcast of the drama, he himself would read reviews online – “It seemed like his smiles are different every time, possibly even his cries are different as well, did he design it as such?”

However, it is precisely that Xiao Zhan does not know all these techniques, but instead he blended into the role, and allowed the story to direct the character’s emotions, and used that character’s status and feelings in his acting.

Xiao Zhan said “The role is really very big, and the span is really long. Because when we shoot dramas, it is according to scenes, for example, the final scenes were shot like 2 days into the start of the shoot, and I needed to quickly get into the situation. And then the next day could be another different scene, switching back and forth, I would get into a confused state. I remembered the most anxious period was in Heng Dian, I would be drowsily doing my make up in the morning, after which I got pushed onto the bus by my assistant, dragged to the studio, start shooting, after that was done my assistant would say ‘We are OK with this side, let’s go to B group’. At that moment made me feel like ‘Am I alright? Is it alright performing this way?’, it was a very concerning period for me.”

But when it was time to shoot, another actor told Xiao Zhan that no matter what happened behind the scenes, as long as the director shouted “Action”, you need to adjust yourself to your best status, you need to give your greatest passion, because the audience will only see what is done after “Action”. Even if you are in low spirits that day, you might be going through the darkest days of your life, but once you are at the studio, standing in front of a camera, the director yelled to start shooting, from that moment on you are no longer yourself.

Xiao Zhan smiled as he said, “That’s cruel, but that’s an actor’s job.”

“I am not a brave person, but I need to become a brave person”

In the winds, a herd of antelopes and deer ran past us, Xiao Zhan grasped the dagger that signified strength and bravery, as he stood on the red rocks on the side of the cliff. The scenery before us are a rarity – it took billions of years of tectonic movements to create this miraculous sight. On an island in the Gulf of Arab, there actually exists such an alien sight. In order to get to this cliff, you need professional guides and you need to climb up and down for half an hour or so. The usually quiet Xiao Zhan also exclaimed “So beautiful!” in spite of himself. We could use an unknown adventure to describe life – the more mysterious it is, the more you want to explore.

Xiao Zhan said that he is not a brave person, but it is life required him to become braver – only the brave can face all of the unknown and mysteries in an unknown adventure. Previously, he had to face the transition from an amateur to an artist, the adjustment from a commoner’s life to a life under the bright spotlights of the stage; now he faced the tight scrutiny of his life under the spotlight.

After the end of shooting of “The Untamed”, many felt that Xiao Zhan became more lively than before, and he spoke more often. In the past, he was always uncomfortable facing strangers, but now he will use a very active attitude to communicate with others, in hopes of receiving more information from that. The role not only gave him more attention, it also gave him strength and growth.

For his future planning, he laughed as he said that he had not decided. He was just passionate about acting and hoped that he could move ahead in the path of becoming a good actor, one problem at a time, and become braver and stronger. He felt that this is not just about himself, many of his friends and young people are the same – undaunted by the difficulties in life, and become stronger as a result. This is like the antelopes who are almost being baked under the intense heat of the desert, unafraid of the sun, sprinting ahead, never looking back.

“No one will like you for no reason”

Xiao Zhan’s father once said this “No one will like you for no reason, if someone likes you, you have to cherish that person’s feelings.” Xiao Zhan truly believes in this.

In his youth, Xiao Zhan liked Stefanie Sun, and went to her concerts and album sales events. He hoped that he could catch a glimpse of her from afar, watch her shine onstage, immerse himself in her voice, and learn from her, become a better person, become a star who could shine for another person. He said that that was how the youth of his era fan an idol. The idol is a truly an idol, the motivation to encourage himself forward. Now, he cherishes all of his fans’ love for him, and he does not reject the term “traffic” – this is a term that many would avoid. (TN: Traffic is a term that is used in China to describe idols with a lot of fan following.)

“You might feel that traffic is not good, right? Feel that traffic is another derogatory term? Actually I feel that traffic is quite fine, of course the term to me means that a lot of people know you, like you, I feel that’s a good thing. At least I feel that no one can be high traffic forever, what’s most important is how you handle it, how you face the traffic, and let this traffic become a motivation to move forward, I think this is very important.”

He hopes that he can translate the love from his fans to become his motivation to move forward. An actor could depend on a popular drama to quickly accumulate fame and attention, but the art of performance requires professional training and experience accumulation. Xiao Zhan’s favorite actress is Zhou Xun. When he spoke of her, his tone utterly reveals him as a fanboy, “I don’t know how she evolved to this.” Our answer was simple, time and talent, both of which you cannot do without. Talent will help your potential in the domain of acting, and if fate ordinates, help you grasp the opportunities that knock on your door. Whereas time is the sharpening stone, every minute and second spent on the acting career will show itself in the performances thereafter.

“There are no small roles, only small actors.” Staying true to his original intentions and initial thoughts, doing his best in his own profession, seriously working hard in the acting domain, he will eventually find his own place.

Xiao Zhan said, “In this era where traffic comes and goes, staying true to myself, staying real, I feel this is the eventual goal. But it is so difficult to do this.”

Wish him well.

Q&A

Q: Before you came to Abu Dhabi, what you did imagine it to be? A: The image I had was that, endless deserts and wilderness, soaring majestic buildings.

Q: When you knew that our journey is somewhat similar to an adventure, being with animals, what did you imagine it to be? A: I thought about it. Something like African savanna, sort of like animal migration, herds of animals moving past you, especially spectacular. However, the animals on the African savanna are wilder, over here, the wild animals are mostly the gentler antelopes, giraffes.

Q: In your personal life, are you a person who also likes adventures? A: Yes, I can be considered as such.

Q: When there are many things that the results are unknown, does that excite you? A: If there are many things in my life that I already know the results, my interest in the new and unknown will wane. I prefer not knowing the results, there are many paths to take, and the destinations could all be different, this makes me feel more excited.

Q: So in your imagination, Abu Dhabi suits your sense of unknown? A: Yes. It is just very mysterious, a feeling of an unknown land, to be explored, and full of endless treasures.

Q: There are so many animals on the island of Sir Bani Yas, which do you want to contact or wish to take a picture with? A: The giraffes. To be able to take a picture with them, to get up close with them, I just feel this is very exciting. I have never had the opportunity, I used to only go to the zoo. Being able to contact animals in the wild is very rare.

Q: This time you were able to look into a giraffe in the eye, how did you felt? A: Just that I am able to look at it in the eye.

Q: Aren’t you afraid of giraffes? A: I am not afraid, I feel that giraffes are quite cute, why do I need to be afraid of it?

Q: They are quite strong. A: The giraffes?

Q: Did you know that in the culture of Abu Dhabi, daggers signify strength. In the ancient times, the Emirates used them as a self-defense accessory. Their founding father, Sheikh Zayed, almost wore one for half his lifetime, and daggers are found in many of his portraits. Even now, the young Emirates frequently wore them in public. A: The sign of bravery and strength. Actually, when I saw this dagger, I felt that it gave me bravery and strength, the start of an adventurous journey.

Q: Holding the dagger and walking along the cliffs, how did it feel like? A: Wow, every inch of this land is mine, I felt that I could jump down that cliff, there was nothing to fear. Especially when the wind came and blew open my windbreaker, it was especially refreshing.

Q: What did is the biggest feeling this journey gave you? A: Actually, not many people understood Abu Dhabi, after I came here, I was surprised to find that there were many beautiful scenery and interesting cultural traditions, and the underlying adventurous spirit within. It is like a pair of eyes, showing us new discoveries. Actually, the interesting discoveries that we don’t usually find in our daily lives, and this journey is tinted with the colors of adventure and mystery, makes me feel very excited. This city, it has its own cultural background, the collision with new things, is a very wondrous feeling.

Q: If your friend wants to go to Abu Dhabi for an adventure, what recommendations do you have? A: Actually there are plenty. I feel that if the friends around me were to come to Abu Dhabi, they have to experience the unique Arabic culture, the buildings here and their totems, I feel that these have special meanings. Those of my friends who loves art can go to Abu Dhabi Louvre. And there’s one more thing that cannot be missed, that is the adventurous journey to get in touch with nature, I feel this is especially great. Abu Dhabi’s deserts and islands, will really satisfy your adventurous desires to explore the world, you can look up and see the flying saker falcons, then look down to see the running antelopes and cheetahs, and turn around to see the giraffes standing behind you.

[vintage-story-time]

Her Mother's Lover

Chapter 1

Charisse Mantell was more voluptuous than the average teen-age girl, and

at eighteen, she liked to pretend she had a worldliness and knowledge

about sex which she really didn't have at all. As a matter of fact, she

knew less about the sexual relationships between men and women than the

average girl. Her mother was a famous singing star on television and the

plush nightclub circuits of Las Vegas, New York, London and Acapulco,

but had kept her lushly developing daughter safely stashed away in

expensive private schools. Although Minna Mantell was a talented and

voluptuous beauty herself, she was at the age where a fresh, sexually

budding daughter might prove to be competition . . . competition that

would show up her own somewhat fuck-worn tits and ass.

In the exclusive private school, Greystone, where she was now, she found

that being the daughter of a celebrity made the other girls look up to

her. After all, the daughter of the famous Minna Mantell, TV and

nightclub star - a beautiful, if somewhat tarnished, figure of glamour,

a pet of the international jet set and adored by her faithful fans.

After a while however, Charisse found that her natural shyness was

mistaken for stand- offishness and that her former friends ignored her

to the extent of pointedly not inviting her to their parties or sorority

affairs.

Her mother had often told her that even as the daughter of a famous

woman, she would encounter plenty of jealousy and envy, and that she

would be very foolish to let that sort of thing throw her. For some

strange reason, she had always been closer to her mother, felt proud to

be the daughter of Minna Mantell. So Charisse tried to "cultivate her

cool," In spite of the other girls' snubs. But in her heart she was very

hurt.

She would actually see a group of girls hurriedly change the subject of

their whispered conversation when she approached, and knew they must

have been talking about her or her mother. As she went upstairs to

study, she heard what surely was a dirty remark about her, to judge from

the peals of mocking laughter that followed her to her dormitory room.

She mentally resolved that "he who laughs last, laughs best' - and that

she would one day have the last laugh over these bitches.

The girl who seemed to hate her the most was actually her next door dorm

neighbor, a rather mean, but physically attractive seventeen-year-old

girl named Debby.

Debby's room seemed to he some sort of magnet for the other girls in

Greystone and they would gather there very frequently like a flock of

gaily chatting birds. And, as much as Charisse tried to deny it to

herself, she was secretly hurt that she wasn't asked to be one of the

group. It was just all that phony sophistication and woman of the world

airs that Debby affected that attracted the other girls, she kept

telling herself. Finally, one weekend, she heard them laughing and

giggling in Debby's room and made up her mind to find out what it was

all about. Even though there was a sinking sensation in her stomach as

she did so, she casually opened the door and entered.

As the girls saw who it was, the gaiety seemed to die down, and she was

greeted by furtive and somewhat resentful looks.

"Just what can we do for you, Miss Mantell?" Debby asked her. "Or did

you open the door to the wrong room by mistake?"

Charisse's heart skipped a beat and she flushed in embarrassment as she

replied, "No, I just thought I'd join the fun . . "

There was a sharp intake of breaths, then a hushed silence and then

Debby spoke.

"Come right in, maybe you can fill us in on details about . . show

business that we were discussing. After all, your mother is the fabulous

Minna Mantell, superstar of TV, nightclubs, and all that jazz."

Charisse walked into the room hesitantly and saw that there were little

knots of girls all over. Some were on the bed, some were on the easy

chairs and others even sprawled on the rug. As Charisse found a place to

sit on the sofa, the gay girlish gossiping and hysterical shrieks of

laughter began again.

"Please don't feel that I'm intruding," Charisse said to Debby, "but I'm

really at rather loose ends this afternoon, and you all sound like

you're having such a lot of fun . . . " her voice trailed off. She

flushed under Debby's sharp mocking gaze.

"By the way," Debby said slyly, "we were just discussing the sex life of

some popular show biz personalities - or don't you think that people

like Frank Sinatra or Robert Goulet or . . . Minna Mantell indulge in

that pastime?"

Charisse flushed and her lips trembled as she tried to reply

nonchalantly, "Oh I've heard a thing or two."

Debby pressed her advantage. "How about giving out with some of the dirt

about your mother? After all, you've sort of got the inside track."

Charisse kept silent as Debby continued her clever taunting. "Well,

we're all waiting breathlessly to hear something right from the horse's

mouth, as it were. Or would the opening at the other end of the horse be

more suitable to the subject of Minna Mantell's private occupations?" As

Charisse pressed her lips together and tried to keep the tears from

filling her eyes, Debby added, "I've got a little scrap book here that

mentions her." She opened a book filled with news clippings. "Here's

something juicy - "Hot Love on the Big Networks" - Mmmmm . . . 'Is a

certain famous TV star about to have her option dropped because she

drops her panties too much?"'

"So what?" Charisse said grimly.

"So the rest of the article is all about Minna Mantell's love life, her

husband's affairs, and some really swinging sex, marijuana, and LSD

shenanigans. Really, you must have such an exciting time at home! It's a

shame we can't get you to tell us about it."

"How can you even read such cheap gossip sheets? They should be banned

from the newsstands!" Charisse burst out. "My mother says everyone in

the public eye is besmirched by those scandal sheets!"

"Look here," Debby said, thrusting her scrap book into Charisse's hands,

just see if this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. For just an

idle gossiper, he seems to know an awful lot about your mother and your

father. You're not mentioned - yet."

Charisse didn't want to look at the scrap book, yet the pictures of her

mother with some slick young men captioned "Minna's Latest" or "Handsome

Remedy for Singer's Sore Throat" held her gaze hypnotically. The stories

were about love affairs, secret trysts, sex-swapping parties at her

mother's New York penthouse, the young girls her father consoled himself

with and other sexy tidbits. Charisse knew that it couldn't possibly be

true. The parties she had seen at her mother's apartment never had

anything more exciting than spilling a cocktail occasionally.

"I don't know where you got all this dirt," Charisse said angrily, "but

I can assure you that's all it is - just a bunch of low down dirt, made

up by a second rate gossip columnist looking for filler! Now I think

I'll go to my room. I think I want to play my mother's latest record

album to get the smell of your scrap book out of my nose!"

"Really, Miss Haughty?" Debby asked slyly. "Since we come from such a

bunch of blue bloods, I guess you wouldn't be interested in some other

choice bits about your darling mother?"

"I don't know why you're picking on me like this," Charisse said, with a

hint of a sob in her voice. "If you don't want my company I'll leave

right now!"

"Oh, no," Debby replied with a sardonic grin, "we'd just love to have

you stay. Our parents live such dull lives compared to yours. We're so

unsophisticated - why don't you wise us up?"

Charisse knew that Debby was trying to embarrass her in front of the

other girls.

"I just ignore cheap slander, wherever it comes from," Charisse said,

looking pointedly at Debby, "and now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll

go and play those records in my own room!"

But Debby grasped her by the arm as she made her way to the door. "Oh,

I've got lots of other interesting scraps on your mother, Charisse. I

used to be a fan of hers."

Turning to another girl called Sally, she said, "Get me the rest of my

scrap books from the closet and we'll see who's slandering whom. Your

mamma really must be quite a babe with the boys, and you don't even want

to tell us anything about her technique of getting men. That's really

all we want from you, some pointers on what makes Minna such a

successful sexpot."

With this, she flung the scrap books the other girl handed her right at

Charisse's feet. They opened to show pictures of her mother in various

poses and escapades, including a certain nude bathing episode in the

fountain of London's Trafalgar Square.

Charisse ignored the pictures and made to leave the room. She was

actually on the verge of tears and couldn't understand what had brought

on this attack on her and her mother. She had only tried to be friendly.

Why was Debby so intent on torturing her and demeaning her in front of

the others.

"Pick those books of mine off the floor, and read those stories real

good. Maybe you'll thank me for giving you the best education you ever

got at good old Greystone," Debby ordered.

Charisse couldn't believe that this was happening to her, or that the

other girls would go along with this hazing.

"I don't think anybody would like it much if Miss Finchly heard what the

girls in her class were trying to pull," she quavered with tears in her

eyes.

"I don't think you would like it much if we really did a job on your

whore of a mother and plastered this stuff all over the school," Debby

answered. "Believe me, every girl here will make you sorry that you were

ever born if you even think of squealing to the headmistress."

Charisse felt that Debby was dead serious and would really carry out her

threats. Maybe the best thing would be to play along and then get out as

quickly and as gracefully as possible.

"Okay," Debby said viciously, "now read us a few bedtime stories, and I

do mean "bedtime" stories about your old folks at home. And speak up,

I'm hard of hearing."

Charisse flipped the pages of the scrap book unbelievingly. Finally she

began to read in a whisper, "I need to have my men big - all over, says

songbird Minna Mantell . . . "

She was interrupted with a high pitched squeal of laughter from one of

the group, but continued reading with a kind of fascinated horror. "'I

believe love is where you find it, says Minna Mantell on Rome's famed

Via Veneto. Could it be that the handsome young Italian accompanying her

agreed with her back in her hotel room?"' Charisse saw a picture of an

oily, gigolo-type leading her mother's poodle, while her mother looked

up at him in obvious admiration.

"You girls don't understand," Charisse said, "these things are just for

publicity, just a press agent's idea. Why, my mother would never do

anything of the kind!"

"Oh, no!" mocked Debby. "Not in a million years - but do read on, it's

all so interesting, even if it is just a press agent's story. Some of

them sound like a press agent's nightmare, if you ask me!"

Charisse bit her lip and said nothing. She realized that she was being

persecuted, and just because she was her mother's daughter. Her mother

had told her there would be days like this, but Charisse would never

have believed her classmates could be so mean and hurtful.

Taking another scrapbook in her hands, Charisse saw her mother

practically bare-chested in a see-through evening gown, obviously drunk,

with a man who certainly wasn't her husband. She dimly remembered also

seeing this man apparently coming from her mother's bedroom one night

when he was a weekend guest, but her mother had just been amused by

Charisse's questions at the time.

Almost hysterically, Charisse leafed through page after page of the

scrapbooks. Why, these stories made her mother out to be the giddiest

type of gadabout - a celebrity who gave sex so freely that she was

notorious for it. And her father, according to these clippings, was a

weak nincompoop who was always shooing handsome young strangers out of

his steaming marriage bed. But no matter how he tried, her mother

managed to keep the bed sheets hot. And all the stories about her

parents were in the same vein. Her mother seemed the biggest tramp and

her father the biggest dope in the entertainment world.

Rather sadly, she said, "I'd like to leave, I've seen all the

scrapbooks."

She was so obviously hurt that none of the girls laughed or said

anything, except Debby, who couldn't resist pitching one last dart into

Charisse's sensitive skin.

"Hope you enjoyed our little get-together and liked my picture books. By

the way," she added, "do you suppose you could get your mother and some

of her boyfriends to autograph my scrap books? That would make them

really interesting!"

Keeping back her tears, Charisse walked into her own room, holding her

head proudly. As she closed the door behind her, she flung herself down

on the bed and let the tears come. How could they rub her nose in the

filthy offal of the gossip columns? How could girls be so cruel?

Especially when she knew that none of it could be true. Even the most

innocent action could be distorted as to make it seem evil by these

gossip sheets. Her mother had assured her of that. But why had her

mother always gone to such pains to get her to believe that there would

be false gossip about her?

Having found that her mother was the soft spot in her armor, the girls

in her section of the dorm became quite sadistic. There would be sly

questions, like "What does your mother advise putting on a broken

cherry?,' flung at her in passing. But she realized that if she answered

this sort of torture, there would be no end to it. So she just kept

quiet and made believe she didn't hear a thing.

Debby, as usual, was the worst. Since she had the room right next to

Charisse's, she developed the habit of barging right in. Somehow she

almost always seemed to come in when Charisse was undressing and clad

only in panties and bra. Once it was without the bra and Debby had

looked fixedly at her voluptuous breasts and hadn't made any of her

usual remarks about Charisse's mother.

"What a pair of titties!" she said in a rather surprised tone of voice.

She left the room when Charisse hurriedly closed the bathroom door.

A new idea had been forming in Charisse's mind under the constant

pressure of all the teasing she was taking from the others. She would

just pack it in, leave Greystone Finishing School. She would go back to

her mother, tell her what had happened and just look for a job. Maybe

she could even become her mother's secretary. It would be fun traveling

with her mother from one engagement to another. She could really see the

world.

She made up her mind that she would take French leave from the school

this coming weekend. She would say she was going into the meadow for

nature study notes and they wouldn't even bother to look for her. By the

time they missed her at bedcheck, she would have almost arrived at the

penthouse in New York. Central Park would look good to her from the

seventeenth story of the luxury apartment. Much better than Miss

Finchley's school up in the farthest reaches of Westchester County.

She was nervous when she told the biology teacher she was going to spend

the day in nature study, but when she was finally away from Greystone,

she felt much better. She liked her bio teacher, and felt sorry if she

would get into trouble over Charisse's disappearance.

It was a cloudy day, and a bone-chilling dampness made her hurry along

to the railroad station. Some of the town's swingers, young men on the

make, always used to watch in town for the girls from Greystone.

Charisse knew that some of the girls had let themselves get picked up

for beer drinking parties at a nearby bar and discotheque, but felt it

was really none of her business. She herself had gotten more than one

off-color invitation to join them, but now they no longer bothered her.

Her figure had really matured more voluptuously than she herself

realized. With her miniskirt tight around her shapely asscheeks, her

full titties jouncing joyously with every step in her loose bra and

tight sweater, she was a real hard-on producer whenever she passed a

group of men. Her asscheeks jiggling, her tits full and inviting, long

auburn tresses, blue eyes and a lightly freckled skin that was

startlingly white - all these sexy attributes really raised the steam in

any and all observing males. Her lush, wanton figure coupled with her

girlish naivet raised cocks wherever she passed.

She knew she was exciting the group of young street corner loungers as

she passed them - maybe she even gave her hips an extra twitch.

"Mmmmm. Wouldn't that be a nice piece of ass to ram"

"Wow, her nipples are bigger than most girls' tits!"

She heard these and other comments on her physical attributes with a

slight inward shudder. If some of these so-called swingers wanted to get

to first base with her, they'd have to take a bath first. They looked as

oily and as filthy as they sounded. While she was still a virgin, she

remembered how in the hygiene class the male and female sex organs had

been carefully described by the somewhat mannish Miss Tuttle. She had

made them all squirm as she described the foreskin on the male penis,

and the smelly, cheesy deposits which accumulated under if soap and

water weren't used regularly. She tittered to herself as she thought

every penis and foreskin in the corner could probably stand a thorough

washing. And she'd like to see her sadistic friend Debby forced to do

the penis cleanup.

Some other girls soon drew the group's attention and she hurried on to

the station. She looked behind her just to make sure that none of the

girls spotted her heading for the train. It would just be too ironic to

have the Greystone administration stop her at this stage of the game.

She was really sick of the place and all those giggling tormentors. She

knew her mother would tell her that those papers were all lies. She

would be her mother's secretary and go all over the world with her,

glorying in her singing triumphs. Somehow, she couldn't picture her

father doing much of anything, really being in the picture with them. To

her inmost self, she admitted that he was a well-meaning man, but a

weakling for whom she had no respect. Her mother was the strong vital

force of the family.

She waited impatiently for her train to come. She only had about a

fifteen minute wait, but it seemed like hours. The ride to Grand Central

took two hours, and all the way down she tried to picture the reaction

of her parents at her sudden appearance in town in the middle of the

term. Her father, like all weak people, was conventional, a square, and

would probably insist on her going back to that prison of a school. Why,

now that she thought of it, even its name "Greystone" had that

penitentiary sound. But her darling mother was different, she knew she'd

be glad to see her "baby" as she called Charisse. She knew she would

listen sympathetically to her story and maybe she would even start

training her for the position of her secretary right away. She would

tell her mother about the gossip columns and wanted to hear her mother's

throaty contralto laughing and telling her to pay them no mind. And now

that she was older, and would probably be living at home with her

parents, she could certainly spot anything that wasn't right. She wasn't

a child anymore.

The train finally pulled into Grand Central at six p.m. and Charisse

felt like a coward as she went into a phone booth. She really dreaded

telling either of her parents what she had done; they thought she was

such a dutiful girl. When the phone rang, there was no answer. Charisse

breathed a sigh of relief. They had probably gone out to dinner and

would make things easier. The doorman would let her into the apartment,

and she could be sitting in the living room when they returned. She

hoped it was a good dinner, because then at least they would be in a

good mood.

She dozed off on the couch while waiting for them to come home. She just

didn't know how she was going to explain things, but decided play it by

ear. It seemed as if only a moment had passed and she awakened to the

sound of her mother's voice practically screaming in surprise.

"Charisse, baby, what are you doing home when you're supposed to be in

school? Is anything wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, she told them there was nothing for them to worry

about and that she was perfectly all right. But, she told them,

Greystone Finishing School was just an impossible place and she couldn't

stand the other girls' catty snobbiness another day. If they sent her

back, she'd just run away, and maybe go to Chicago or Los Angeles and

look for a job.

Her father stopped her short.

"School is the only place for a girl of your age, and you'll just have

to go back. Why, Greystone is one of the most exclusive schools in the

country and you have no idea of the strings I had to pull to get you in.

I know better than you what's best, and back to school you're going in

the morning. I'll probably be hearing from the headmistress any minute

now and I'm going to tell her you'll be there tomorrow morning!"

Charisse realized with a sick feeling at the pit of her stomach that for

some reason her father didn't want her at home, that she was just a

pesky kid who was going to be in the way.

Then Minna came to her rescue.

"Oh, Charles," she exclaimed, "you're being too hard on the child: Let's

hear her out. That's only fair, and maybe she shouldn't go back if she

hates it so much."

Turning to Charisse she said, "But you must realize dear, that my

singing schedules and your father's TV production business just doesn't

give us much time to spend with you."

"But Mother, you always said You needed a confidential secretary - and

who could be more confidential than me, and I'd just love the job,"

Charisse interrupted. "I'd be the best secretary you could possibly

have!"

"Young lady-" her father began, but Minna shut him up.

"I'll tell you what we'll do, baby. I'll call the headmistress at school

tomorrow and explain that you're not feeling well and that's why you

left. We'll get you a leave of absence and you can stay here while

mother and dad figure out the best thing to do," Minna smiled at

Charisse.

"Who knows, maybe it would be best for you to be my confidential

secretary. The idea has its good points!"

Charisse flung her arms around her mother and hugged her so tightly that

Minna told her to let up a little, she couldn't breathe. It was the

maid's night out, so Minna took Charisse into the kitchen and made her a

tuna sandwich and milk.

"Get to bed early, Charisse dear," Minna said. "Tomorrow's another day

and our problems will look a lot simpler then."

As she snuggled into her own bed that night, Charisse felt she had done

the right thing in leaving Greystone. When her beautiful mother was

around, she felt warm and comfortable; her mother was strong enough and

capable enough to set everything right. Those cheap gossip columnists

with all their dirty pictures and obscene insinuations could never make

her believe that her mother was immoral. Seeing was believing and she

had never seen her mother in a single immoral action in all her life.

But her father was a weak man, and as a TV producer, he surely met up

with a lot of temptations - girls who would do anything for a break on

one of his TV shows.

[phoenixrisesoncemore]

But Whose Deontology?

The Untamed: three-fifths mark

OK, @thearrogantemu​ I finally had a chance to look at a non-work screen for long enough to watch some more Untamed; through episode 30 now! Oh boy. Spoilers for anyone who isn’t this far yet below the cut:

I feel like this show didn’t exactly *hide* that it was interested in poking holes in everyone’s moral system, but it did spend a lot of time... not distracting us, really, but using the other assorted comical, tender, and otherwise emotional aspects of the show to deepen our investment in these characters’ lives and choices before it started really making its moves. I suspect it wouldn’t have had the same effect otherwise.

The long run up is a pacing I’m quite the fan of from almost three decades of JRPGs that start out as light-hearted adventures about teenage angst only to turn into philosophical ruminations on God and the nature of the universe (see my favorite example: Xenogears). Even The Lord of the Rings does something... similar, albeit not intentionally on the part of the author. It’s actually one of my favorite “tropes” in storytelling: the tone shift—the moment the light-hearted and comfortingly simple reveals itself to be something much wider and deeper and which will leave you unsettled in its wake.(1)

I’m really quite impressed with Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo. Xiao Zhan manages to believably play the process of aging from arrogant and ornery but innocent and lovable “student” in Cloud Recesses, to the (still arrogant and ornery but lovable) rebellious “hero” during the Wen indoctrination, to the (still arrogant but lovable) young man forced to grow up too fast when his adoptive parents are killed, to the Master of Demonic Cultivation and head of The World’s Most Wholesome Farming Co-op (why cultivate only demons when you can cultivate turnips, too!?).(2) And he manages to play it all as believably the same character, always deeply expressive but also somehow... authentic... even when he is putting on a show: his play-acted irresponsible argumentativeness with Wen Qing; his self-infantilization whenever he wants Yanli to mother him. The latter would be laughable if we were to take it as entirely straight-faced—he knows he is playing childish, and he knows that she knows, even if he does legitimately want to be mothered. Jiang Cheng on the other hand seems to never handle the reality of Wei Wuxian as well as Wei Wuxian handles the reality of Jiang Cheng...

I understand there was some criticism of Yibo’s perceived lack of expressiveness when the show first came out, but I think he’s doing a fantastic job portraying a deeply stoic character whose emotional turmoil is buried under mountains of learned and self-enforced composure. It’s not like he’s missing beats; he’s responding, it’s just subtle. He’s responsible for two of my favorite moments so far: when he first smiles ever so slightly when he sees the lantern Wuxian has made him with the rabbit drawing(3) and the scene of him kneeling in the snow as punishment. I don’t know if it’s the lighting or the fact that it’s one of the few times he’s not carrying tension in his eyebrows, but he looks SO YOUNG in that shot. Honestly, he looks more AT PEACE in that shot than I think he does at almost any other time in the show so far. It feels to me like, in that moment, he has no regrets either about what he did nor about the fact that he should have to atone for it. Like he has internalized some sense that both things are right and can exist in tension. The weird effect of this growth next to Wei Wuxian’s feels like watching one of the two grow older (Wuxian) while the other grows younger (Wangji).

Now, I’m a sucker for every last story where two highly disparate-seeming people move from from some variation of dislike (either on the part of one or both) to friendship to, sometimes, something more (no, no BL here, none at all *looks the other way*). Certainly Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have very different personalities. Wei Wuxian has little regard for rules, authority, tradition, taboos, or social etiquette: he uses Lan Wangji’s ming(4) almost as soon as he meets him! The way he interacts with objects and spaces (and personal space!) shows his lack of reverence/respect for the people and things others expect him to have reverence for. He has no problem questioning what everyone else seems to see as obvious up to the point of outright suggesting the use of dark magic. Because...well, why not?? Because “they said so?”

It’s not that he doesn’t KNOW the rules. Another of my absolute favorite moments is during the Wen indoctrination when Wei Wuxian starts reciting not the Wen clan principles, but the Lan clan principles! Sure, he lacks the expected respect for sources of authority be they personal or ideological, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t KNOW them. He’s obviously naturally talented, gifted, a fast learner, curious, but also—and crucially—he has a very strong moral compass! He does not tolerate bullies, especially when they turn their attention to the vulnerable, like Wen Chao.(5) Yanli notes that their father always favors those with moral integrity and who does he favor? Wei Wuxian.

And this is where he and Lan Wangji are more alike than Wangji initially thinks, and why I love that moment, just after they release the lanterns, when you see, just for a second, the surprise on his face at the content of Wei Wuxian’s prayer: that he always be able to “stand with justice and live with no regrets.” It is, I imagine, the moment when it really hits Wangji that this rebel he finds himself irrationally attracted to truly is *good* despite the fact that he shows no outward signs of respecting the same sources of moral authority Wangji does.

So what is the main difference? Where the rules come from. Who makes the rules? Both of them are pretty sure they know.

Lan Wangji gets his moment to present his source just after their rooftop duel when he catches Wei Wuxian drinking: the Lan Clan principles chiseled right into stone. All 3000 of them. Interestingly, even though Wei Wuxian can and does memorize the code and seems perfectly happy with the notion of moral principles in general, I’ll wager a guess that he is confused by the very idea that a moral code would be so strict and unchanging and inflexible that it could be chiseled into stone *in the first place* or that it would *need to be memorized*. Surely you’d just...”know?” Besides, morality is too contextual to treat this way surely?

As a CLH (Confirmed Lifelong Heretic) my sympathies admittedly lie more with Wei Wuxian than Lan Wangji. It’s not that traditional codes of ethics and conduct are bad things. These are the things that provide stability across entire cultures and peoples. If they’re written in stone, at least that means they’re something everyone has a greater chance of pointing to and agreeing on.(7) And just as Lan Wangji has to learn that there are moral codes that aren’t written in stone and that individual minds can have very clear senses of right and wrong outside of group structures, Wei Wuxian has to learn to temper his arrogance—that his actions, for however right he *thinks* they are, can and do have consequences he would not intend for those he loves, as when he stops himself from calling to Wangji during the hunt. I have a feeling he’s going to be learning more...

Then there’s that whole conversation from ep. 29 as Lan Wangji prepares to leave the burial mounds which is just full of whammies (set, naturally, against the exceedingly domestic reality of the community as a whole and their exceedingly sweet interactions with a-Yuan). Wei Wuxian says: “But let yourself be the judge of what is right and what is wrong, leave others’ comments aside, and care little about gain and loss. What I should do. I know it very well. I believe that I’ll be able to control it well.” And then there’s that moment where you can actually feel Lan Wangji’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach as he presses his eyes closed.

This is the reverse of the moment when Wangji directed Wuxian’s attention to the list of Lan clan principles, so solid they are written in stone.(8)

Then there is that wonderful bit about their respective paths—Lan Wangji’s path vs. Wei Wuxian’s path: the wide avenue vs the one-log bridge. I assume this is a literal translation of the Mandarin. Is it an idiom? If so, I may mangle its meaning terribly and for that I am sorry. But it seems to me that a wide avenue is safe, easy, populated; a single-log bridge is comparatively dangerous and only one person can walk it. Which seems a pretty good metaphor for the differences in whose rule-book each of the leads chooses. Not to mention, with my Western ears, it sounds a WHOLE lot like a “straight and narrow path.” Interesting then, that it is The Master of Demonic Cultivation who is choosing it, while Lan Wangji—with his brightness and discipline and clarity—is following the “easy” way.

So, there it is: whose deontology is the right one? How do you choose?

It’s the epistemological aspect of the question of ethics that Newbigin gets right in that quote I posted the other day. Honestly, I disagree with a great deal (like, a lot) of what Newbigin says in that book, and I think he spends far too much time running himself in ever tighter Calvinist circles, (not to mention I have little interest in missiology and am highly skeptical of evangelism). But! I appreciate that he does, at least, recognize the danger of believing we have insulated ourselves completely from uncertainty or of expecting that certainty is even a thing possible to achieve.

But where do we choose to anchor our axioms? And why? Whose deontology is the right deontology? The rules written on parchment and stone? Or the rules written on our souls? Remembering, of course, that both are fallible. 16 years in the future, will the two leads have changed their minds at all?

And now with any luck, I’ll have a free weekend in which to watch the last 20 episodes, assuming no one wants me to do adult things like house cleaning or completing design projects people are paying me for.(10)

Like how Tolkien switches register from the low and comedic to the high and romantic but you’re fully aware it’s all really part of the same story and suddenly, bam!, you recognize that those aspects of life are somehow not able to be disentangled.

OMG is this an intentional play on “cultivation”? Sometimes I can’t tell what might be getting lost in translation, and I’m certainly too ignorant of Chinese culture, mythology, and folklore to really appreciate everything happening in this show, not least of which due to the language barrier.

He is, interestingly, far more moved by it than the drawing Wuxian does of *him* two episodes beforehand—is this merely the result of the progression of their relationship? This is post-cold springs after all.

That took some research to understand!

The main “vulnerable” character that he never seems to swoop in to save is Meng Yao and I wonder if it’s because he can sense something “off” about him. I felt bad for Meng Yao at first but he always put me on edge. Honestly, is there anyone who trusts Meng Yao as far as they can throw him? *looks at Elrond* OK, anyone except Elrond?(6)

Honestly, before I started watching this I saw that one of the characters was being referred to as Elrond and I wondered, going into it, if I’d know which character it was, and then Lan Xichen walked in and I was like “oh, yeah, obviously!” Seriously, what is it about him? Is it his physical appearance? The way he holds himself? His outfit? His pattern of speaking? How is this person so obviously coded “Elrond?”

Except they don’t really. That’s never how it works.

And interestingly, when looking at his name: “Wei Ying,  Ying is his 名, meaning, baby; Wuxian is his 字, it comes from an ancient prose “喜乐无羡赏,忿怒无羡刑”, which means when you’re delighted don’t reward without restraint,  when you’re angry don’t punish without restraint. Wuxian here means exercise your power reasonably.”(9)

The richness of the world in this show really appeals to me as does the carefully choreographed costume design, productions design, and cinematography (seriously, everyone needs to dress like this all the time; end of story; I have spoken). There have been some amazing shots that I can only assume are drone footage that have been ADRed?

20 years in and adulthood still sucks. 0 of 5 stars. Would not recommend.

[psychicnymph]

what happened to aphroditedolan?

hi everyone. i’m here to address the questions that i know many of you will ask. my sudden departure from the dolan twins fandom was not an entirely impulsive decision, so i’m here to explain.

first and foremost, i deactivated because of the sheer amount of blatant, cruel, and unacceptable disrespect i endured while writing for fun and for free. i would spend hours, upon days, upon weeks, upon months working on projects and i still got this disrespect. people were critical of my appearance, my strong-willed and passionate nature, the way i presented myself online -- but, amazingly, never of my writing. see, truth be told, arrogance in tote, my writing is phenomenal. it was rare that you’d catch a spelling or grammatical error (which is a direct result of my educational privilege, i recognize), each plot was well thought-out, each descriptor would bring the scenery, the characters, the erotic scenes to life; you name it, i took the time to near-perfect it. i wrote, edited, sometimes went as far as rewriting -- my point is, i was dedicated. 

a few weeks ago, i even took the time to completely reorganize my blog; i gathered and linked all the small concepts & blurbs i wrote and put them into a masterlist, on top of updating my fic masterlist to be more aesthetically pleasing, cleaner, and editing pictures myself to put them on both masterlists. i did this because i was excited to continue the two short series which i had started: Let Me Get That For You and A Girl is a Gun. additionally, i had ideas, WIPs, and other projects i was planning and writing for that i couldn’t wait to embark on -- and then, it was like something changed in the fandom.

well, i suppose i can’t say changed. let’s say more like... got exponentially worse.

from the very beginning, there were two types of people who i noticed in the twins’ tumblr fandom: there were those who earned their numbers, and there were those who preached ideas of entitlement. there was also a hierarchy: big blogs, and small blogs. it was like a caste system of its own kind. i’d like to discuss this for a brief moment.

when i first started writing, i was absolutely nobody in the fandom. i wasn’t on other platforms, i hadn’t been a stan for very long, i didn’t know anybody -- the tumblr fandom was where i wanted to start and, for the most part, ended up staying. i mention this because at the time of aphroditedolan’s deletion, i was considered a “big blog.” how did i go from small to big, then? if it’s a caste system, how could i have transitioned?

the answer is simple. the system you all created doesn’t exist. in this fandom, you are either entitled or you are talented, and that’s about it.

i never sat around begging people to like, reblog, or read my work, and i never pleaded for followers. i got them because i put out good, consistent, beautiful writing. i interacted with people, i wrote for prompts, i reached out and cultivated friendships, i did what i went to tumblr to do: write and be part of a community that loved the dolan twins. that’s it. the numbers came through hard work, dedication, and most of all, earning every one of them. 

no one on this earth or any other is entitled to likes, reads, reblogs, comments, kind words, attention, followers, or anything of the sort. yes, everyone deserves those things; no, you shouldn’t just get them. you should strive to earn these things. and honestly, while i think everyone is deserving of a chance, not everyone is cut out to be a writer. not everyone is made or meant for this art. because it’s an art. it’s a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. you can’t just sit down and bang out some writing. you absolutely must be dedicated and passionate about it if you ever want a taste of being successful. and that’s just it; some of you are doing this for the wrong reasons. you do it for the numbers. numbers do not fucking matter. they aren’t even real. it’s just a count of people who have physically interacted with your post, or people who actually decided to follow you.

everyone deserves to have their craft appreciated, but when you just start writing for the attention you think it’ll get you, that’s not a craft. that’s you doing the things you see others doing because you see the attention they get and you want a piece of that for yourself. it’s a shitty, horrible motive. and then, when it’s obvious that writing isn’t your strongest talent or even a genuine passion of yours, you whine about some system that isn’t fair, you create something to blame for your lack of success -- of course, it must be the bigger blogs.

i’m proof that that just isn’t true and y’all are lying to yourselves. in less than a year, i ended up with 4k followers and extremely successful pieces. again, because i earned it. through time, effort, and dedication, i earned it.

another thing that came with the culture of entitlement in the fandom was people being self-pitying in order to evoke guilt in their audience, so that people would go and tell them, no, your writing is so good, keep it up. they did it as a means of getting the attention they hadn’t earned. people got into the habit of trying to use me for more attention. they would feign friendliness, interest in my blog, etc., all to say, hey, can you check out my writing and reblog it?

i don’t fuck with that shit. it’s a huge part of why i had to turn my submissions off and my messages off from people i didn’t follow. i don’t like people who only care about numbers and want to use me for more numbers. it was beyond disrespectful that people thought i couldn’t see what they were trying to do; honey, manipulation is a skill just like any other, and i’m better at it than you are. don’t try it on me.

besides the overly-entitled, suffocating people who would shit on, criticize, and blame others for their low numbers which resulted from their sheer lack of effort and self-awareness (and by this i mean actually stopping to question 1. what is your motive here and 2. is what you’re producing actually good or is it slapped together messily?), there was also the culture of feedback to the writer from the audience. 

it was rare that i’d get any other response on my writing besides “part 2?” “more?” “part 2 plzzzz” “you need to update this” and etc.

how many times is the writing community gonna have to say that those comments aren’t helpful, kind, supportive, constructive, or ANYTHING besides annoying? they’re demanding. they push the idea that they just want more of the same ol’ shit. even after i made it blatantly clear on more than one occasion that i don’t take requests and would not be adding a part 2 to something unless it was upon my own discretion, there were still constant, never-ending, tireless requests for more, or requests in general. it was frustrating and infuriating. i was so tired of repeating myself. and when i stopped repeating myself and started linking people to asks or my FAQ where i had already answered that question, people wanted to act like i had an attitude. people gave me endless grief that i was a bitch, aggressive, had a shitty attitude; no, babe. i just wasn’t tolerant of poor treatment. you should try to start adopting this attitude for yourself. respect yourself and know your worth. it’s really as simple as that.

when the biphobic comments rolled around, i’d had enough. it’s when i decided to take my break, truly because i was furious (as i had every right to be) and because that whole situation made me not want to write at all. all my passion and motivation to finish projects i’d been so excited to do for you guys went out the window. it’s sad that y’all pushed me over the edge this way. i gave it time, i let the wounds heal, i let the anger fade, and i started an official hiatus to do this. i’m also in school again, which meant i’d be less active anyway, and it felt like a good idea to just put some distance between myself and the tumblr fandom. but the distance has only solidified the feeling that i’m just not appreciated as much as i deserve to be. and i don’t mean in numbers. i mean for the amount of effort i put in to get constant backlash on things that don’t even have to do with my writing, to work so hard only to be pissed the fuck off, to dedicate so much time and energy to a group of people only for y’all to erase my identity, send me hate, try to act big and tough and like you’re the shit behind anonymous... i’m good luv, enjoy.

there are also other factors; truths about some of the people in the fandom that are idolized, the constant plagiarism of my work, the overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with keeping up with my blog like it was a job, among other things that i don’t care to elaborate on.

so that’s it. i got tired of the same old shit and i know i deserve better. below, i’ll answer some questions that i think some people may be left with:

are you and luna still dating?

yes. for the last time, yes. we are dating. we are a couple. we love each other. we are in a long distance relationship and we are actually dating. not like two besties pretending to date because it’s quirky -- we are actually. fucking. dating. and no, nothing happened between us to make me make this decision. we are doing great.

are you gonna write ever again?

in my life? yes. for the twins, in this fandom, or on this platform? fuck no.

are you still a fan of the twins?

yes! oh my god, probably always. no matter where they go or what they pursue, i’m there with them. they have made my life better, and i have a lot to thank them for. i’ll just be enjoying their content from alllllllllll the way over here.

are you gonna be blogging about the twins?

not at all. in fact, i don’t even follow rockstardolan because i’m keeping my dash away from all of that. i’m not following any dt related blogs. i’m gonna do my thing over here, and love the twins in private, on my own terms. 

why did you delete all your writing?

in truth, after everything, i don’t even want it to remain there. i essentially wanted to erase my contribution and my footprint on this fandom. plus, having my writing just out and about, having already been plagiarized so i’m sure you can find some things in various illegal wattpad compilations, makes me worry about more people doing that. i wanted to keep that damage to a minimum. so yeah, they’re gone forever. 

what about your friends, people you interacted with, etc?

the people who matter will stay in touch. there are some people i’ve cut out from my life for good because they’re toxic and quite frankly i just don’t like them. i’m done subjecting myself to people i don’t even fucking like for the sake of keeping others happy. but, the good friends who respected me, treated me well, etc, they’ll reach out when they can. i’d say i encourage it, but i have a lot on my plate as is and have a hard enough time keeping up with things in the real world, let alone things online. there’s still love there, i’m just keeping a safe, healthy distance and doing what’s best for me. 

if you have other questions, you can feel free to ask, but i’m really not in the market for new friendships. it’s not that time in my life. i literally cannot handle more than what i’ve got on my plate, and i’m keeping my priorities in order. i don’t care if you think i’m rude, if you think i’m a bitch, if you think i’ve got a bad attitude, if you think i’m a piece of shit, if you’re angry, if you’re sad, even if you’re gonna miss me -- this is for me. i’m letting this out as a big, fat fuck you to the things and people that ruined my experience on aphroditedolan, and as an explanation for the few people who deserve it.

take care of yourselves. do the things that make you happy. don’t tolerate things that don’t make you happy. do no harm, take no shit, and most importantly,

stan the FUCKING dolan twins.

signed,

daniella/dani/aphroditedolan, however you have known me. 

[carversourcebe]

Charlie’s interview for Schön! Magazine

This has been a challenging year for most people. What is a challenge you have faced recently and how did you overcome it? Or, how are you working towards overcoming it?

“I’ve been too addicted to the news. I don’t know if that’s what you were going for, but really, it’s been a challenge. On the one hand, I think it’s especially important right now to stay informed, to understand sources, look at a subject from multiple angles, and then study how it’s being parsed to different intended audiences. But the constant refreshing, the phone time became… Immobilising. This year has been a teacher. I’ve had to learn (relearn?) how to anchor to things in the present, things actually in front of me. Enjoying each bite of a meal by myself. Spending an afternoon on a blanket underneath a tree. Cultivating an appreciation for things at that human scale. I’ve found it’s easy to get overwhelmed otherwise.”

On the bright side, has there been anything that has particularly inspired you this year that you want to share?

“Nature. It’s medicine, every time.”

To all of us that watched you since your Teen Wolf days to now, we know the diverse roles you’ve played over the years. If you had to choose, who has been your favourite character until now, and why?

“Oh gosh! I’ve been so lucky. What’s been so fun is that all of these incredible characters I’ve gotten to play have ended up inhabiting completely different worlds – different genres. Action, drama, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, comedy. That doesn’t necessarily change the underlying humanity of each character in the story, but each genre has presented new challenges and experiences. I don’t know if I have a favourite character, but I’ve loved working on period pieces. Diving into the social history of a particular time period is my kind of fun.”

Let’s talk Ratched. This Netflix psychological thriller series looks haunting in the best way! Being part of it, how would you describe it in your own words?

“I remember walking onto the sound stages on my first day and being blown away. The creative team did such a phenomenal job making the world of Ratched come to life – the sets, the costumes, the props, the makeup. When you’re given such a detailed reality to play in, so much flows from that. It was a blast. Hard work but a blast. And the loveliest group of people all pretending to do some pretty horrible things to one another. For all of the horror and heartbreak you see on the show – well, just know that we had so much fun going there. Also, Sarah Paulson is a goddess.”

Your character in the show Ratched is Huck. What do we need to know about Huck before watching the series?

“I think it’s important to know where Huck has just come from. He’s a war veteran. A veteran of World War Two, specifically. Young men entered that war with a somewhat different attitude and set of expectations. War was advertised primarily as an adventure. An initiation rite. But any notion of the explicit violence of war was mostly precluded by a heavily advertised heroic narrative. I think Huck somewhat innocently signed up to be hero, largely unaware of the horrors of the battlefield. And he returns with that trauma on his face, something he cannot hide. Wounded veterans of the First and Second World Wars were not at all met with the same welcome as the boys that came back “whole”. They were often slowly pushed out into lives of solitude due to overwhelming feelings of shame in a country that did not want to be reminded of the nature of their sacrifice. And veterans rights and services did not then exist as they do now, limited as they unfortunately still are.”

How did you land the role?

“I had just worked with Ryan on The Boys In The Band on Broadway. One of my castmates, Andrew Rannells, needed to be in Los Angeles to film a television show and we found ourselves doing a house swap – he at mine Los Angeles and me with the keys to his place in New York for a few months (We still call it The Holiday). Ryan was in New York and invited me for dinner one night, and at one point the conversation turned to the show he was developing – Ratched. I was completely taken with the world he was describing and before I knew it, he offered me a part. I was speechless. Of course, I said yes.”

Do you think that playing Huck was similar to any other roles you’ve played in the past? If not, what sets him apart?

“Hmmm. I think I’ve always been drawn to finding the sweetness, the goodness of my characters. But no, this was very new for me and a challenge. I really wanted to live up to the backstory of this character and knew early on that makeup and prosthetics would play a big part in telling his story.”

The show is loosely based on the popular novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Interestingly enough, that book is one of the most controversial and banned given some of its themes. Have you read it? What are your general thoughts on this comparison, and would you say the show is likely to be controversial?

“I have! I read it in high school. I loved the book and was very into Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters as well. It’s a beautiful book. And a beautiful film. I don’t know if a comparison can be made other than that they both probe at and challenge the institutions central to them. I really love that Ratched puts women at the centre.”

How has it been working with Ryan Murphy again?

“Ryan is one of the few people in the world who makes me laugh to the point of tears. Truly. Tears. I love that man! I have so much fun watching his work. I had been a big fan for a long time. His leadership in pushes for more inclusive storytelling were a large part of the affirmation I needed from the world that I could come out. That the business was changing and would continue to change. He takes such good care of his actors and has given me chances I’m not sure I would have been given otherwise.”

Are there any particular messages you hope people find and take from watching the show, Ratched?

“First of all, I hope people enjoy it. It’s been a really challenging year. Ratched is deliciously fun and twisted. I hope it’s a welcome escape. That is so important. But I do think the show invites questions about authority and morality. So many of the horrific moments in the show come from very real psychiatric practices of the last century. Just because something is legal or ordained, does that make it right? On whose authority? And I think we as a society are only beginning to understand and appreciate how destiny is inscribed by trauma. Can I recommend a book? The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk came into my hands while filming this show. It changed my life.”

What’s the biggest lesson you learned from working on the show?

“Trust. To trust myself, yes, but really to trust the team. Making a show is a group effort. Forgetting that is the fastest way to find yourself in an unnecessary pressure cooker of your own making. Nothing can ever go “perfectly” until you trust that nobody fully expects it to. In that, there is so much more room for fun.”

Aside from Ratched, you’ve also landed a role in Batman! This highly anticipated movie is on everyone’s radar, especially with the recently released teaser trailer. How did it feel landing that? Are you a fan of the comics?

“I don’t think it’s even fully registered. I went through a big comic book period as a kid. I would buy volumes and read through each in one sitting. It’s a bit of a childhood dream come true, really, getting to act in one.”

Can you give us any details to hold us over until summer 2021?

“I can’t! But how about that trailer?”

Fair enough! You seem to have taken quite a few off your bucket list already, but what type of role would you like to pursue next?

“I’ve always had a thing for the spy genre. Something like that would be really fun. But honestly, if I’m moved by the writing and can get the job, I’ll take it. That’s the fun of this job. Jumping in.”

Link of the article here

[playgroundrp]

PUBLIC PROFILE:

AURORA JO MINAH

CROSS_OVER OVER TEAM: RAPPER, VOCALIST

BTS:

past.

the one and only daughter of one of south korea’s former teen acting sensations, jo minah grew up just at the edge of the spotlight. while her mother transitioned smoothly from a former teen icon to respected drama actress, minah became known behind the scenes. she often chased after her parents during breaks in filming, wide-eyed as she asked for snacks during long days. her first moment in the center of the spotlight was when she was three, running up to her mom in the middle of an interview for a hug.

there were very few people who didn’t expect minah to go into entertainment as well, and she was soon enrolled in various acting, singing, and violin lessons as she entered school. while minah was never shy, she was more reserved than her peers growing up. it was an unintentional side effect of constantly being told to behave on set or with babysitters while her parents were working. she had become very good at entertaining herself.

when she was in middle school, minah tried out acting to follow in her mom’s footsteps. while she was able to land a few commercials and cameo roles, she was never able to quite find the opportunity to hit it big. while she entertained the idea of following her friends to idol auditions happening throughout the year, especially with the number of times she or someone in her class had been followed by the school gates by recruiters with business cards, she never followed through with the idea, preferring to keep trying at what she had hoped would be her future career.

in high school, minah’s acting dreams seemed to tither out of existence. to her family, it was to focus on school. in reality, it was a barely simmering frustration with her own lack of progress.

after graduating from high school, minah followed the track most teenagers her age followed: she went to college. she stayed close to home, attending a seoul university for art and acting. while her ability to thrive at university gave her a confidence boost she hadn’t realized she needed, there was still something missing. after years of idols at the edge of her line of sight, jo minah decided to audition at redux’s july auditions.

debut.

with an insanely short trainee time under her belt, jo minah debuted as the rapper and vocalist of cross_over. minah wouldn’t say she had been a prodigious trainee to warrant debuting after only a few months of training as an idol, but her years of singing lessons did seem to pay off.

while she was able to garner fondness and fans for her more serious and mature on-stage persona and surprisingly bright and cheerful off-stage persona, it was impossible to avoid the whispers and theories behind her inclusion in the line-up and her short trainee period. she was talented enough, sure, but to debut so quickly? surely it must be from connections, from family friends and her parents’ own links and fame in the entertainment industry.

off-stage, minah’s cultivated a bit of a wholesome image that contrasts with the moody maturity of her on-stage persona. she’s easy to laugh on variety shows, her naivety and the pause between the end of a joke and the start of her infectious giggling makes her memorable in cross_over’s variety schedules. she’s far from a variety staple or star, but she’s made herself a welcome addition to the shows cross_over has found themselves invited to.

firmly set in the middle of cross_over’s age ranking, minah has been given the role to play of the mediator of the group. the middle sister who is a bit airheaded but with her heart in the right place and a gentle nudge away from pulling two arguing parties apart to cool down.

while being an idol is her job and priority, it’s no hidden fact from fans and her own company that her heart is set on acting. eventually. hopefully? she’s cross_over’s aurora first, but it’s impossible to extinguish her craving for the silver screen.

[butterflydm]

The Untamed Rewatch (ep 4)

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aka Rules, Rules, Rules

things that stood out this rewatch under the read more (spoilers for entire series; mostly drama only as I haven't read the novel translation yet and only know what I've seen bouncing around online):

We start off with Wei Wuxian running off so as not to miss the greeting ceremony (the 'salute' I think it was called in the tencent translation). We get a lot of sort of subtle (well, until we get to the Wens) introductions to character and relationship interactions and also to the general atmosphere of Gusu. They have… a lot of rules. Some people really thrive on rules and structure and some people, well, don't. The trouble with WWX and the The Rules is that he already has his own moral center in place that conflicts with the rules. He grew up under a very different set of rules and — from what some of the characters says — he was in a complicated situation of being both privileged and favored while at the same time reminded that he was considered not on the same level as Jiang Cheng. Regardless, very different type of rules than the ones in place at Gusu.

Our introduction to Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao is actually fairly sad in retrospect, in that it contains some narrative irony — first of all, that they came together (because Meng Yao is working as the 'vice envoy' for the Nie clan, I believe it says?). And they're just both so young here and things could have gone so differently. Nie Huaisang is also introduced breaking the rules by bringing in his little bird. 

I absolutely did NOT figure out that Nie Huaisang was the fan guy from episode one in my first viewing, btw. I think I didn't realize it until we were way back into the present timeline. I have a ton of love for him, though, which I touched on in my very first post — he's smart and a good liar who knows his own strengths and weaknesses. He had an incredibly weak hand of cards at the start of his revenge play and so it took him time but he figured out how to get justice for his brother even against the person who was, literally, in the strongest position in the cultivation world. Five stars, very impressed. 

As much as I love Nie Huiasang, I also genuinely love Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao. He's interesting and complicated and we see enough of what hurt him that I do understand why he behaves the way he does (as I understand it, it's even more morally grey in the novel, which I'm looking forward to seeing when I read the translation). I certainly don't blame any of his victims for taking revenge against him, but wow, what a fascinating person. 

I think it's the last flashback we get of him, after Jin Guangshan had him thrown off the tower steps, where we see him in obvious pain but still forcing himself to stand up, smile, and bow towards the person who just had him hurt… I think of that moment every time I see him now, honestly. And he is just such a person of extremes and powerful emotions and yet his mask is always on so tightly that we only ever get glimpses of what he's really feeling underneath it. While WWX can appear lawless to people like Lan Qiren but actually does have a strong sense of right and wrong (whether or not he always lives up to it, he tries), JGY genuinely is willing to throw any and all moral rules away in an attempt to protect and advance himself. So he mirrors and contrasts against both of the leading men.

Of course, this is also the beginning of something I found myself tragically shipping over the course of The Untamed. Ah, XiYao. Meng Yao does some terrible things over the course of the story. For someone who comes across as self-effacing, he actually has a fierce ability to hold grudges and extract revenge for slights against him. 

But his introduction here is very sympathetic, as we hear some students gossiping about him (quieted by Lan Qiren) and then see Lan Xichen step forward to publicly praise him in an attempt to lessen the impact of the gossip. There's some significant eye contact and subtle touching and I am weak. And we know that Meng Yao does latch onto Lan Xichen here in a way that he does with literally no other character, in that this is the one person he isn't willing to sacrifice for his own reputation and life. It's not a hugely healthy relationship, on both sides, but it is very interesting.

The whole Wen incursion here is, I believe, a drama-only thing? As I understand it, a large part of what the drama does is try to set things up early to give the central characters more time to know each other (and, also, More Romance with literally everyone which, as a romance fan, I do not object to). So, we're introduced to the Wens bullying their way into the lessons (though I'm not sure we see Wen Qing actually attend a single lesson? I will keep an eye out; I actually don't remember how many lessons we end up seeing) in the middle of the ceremony. They use this scene both to show Wen Chao's behavior but also to set up his dislike of Wei Wuxian early because WWX is, of course, the person who stands against Wen Chao directly and challenges him. This is the first chance that Jin Zixuan would have to notice that WWX is Just Like That in general, rather than being like that specifically with him, but it's a distracting enough moment that I will not blame him for probably not noticing.

Things during the face-off that stood out to me in particular:

    I think they do a good job characterizing Wen Chao as a realistic bully — when he has power, he abuses it, but when he's powerless later on, we see him being petulant and pitiful (and still demanding). He's a bully in part because he knows he can get away with it because of his father's power.

    Lan Wangji wants to Fight but looks to his brother and listens when his brother indicates that he should refrain. Young Lan Wangji is just Ready To Fight at all times, but he's also very obedient to his elder brother.

    In contrast to this and not for the last time, Wei Wuxian jumps in to verbally spar against someone without ever looking at Jiang Wanyin to get permission. Though WWX's relationship with Jiang Wanyin is complicated in ways that Lan Wangji's isn't with his own brother. Lan Xichen is both sect leader and the eldest, while WWX is, I think, older than Jiang Wanyin (he's definitely the 'elder disciple'). But it does hint that their plan for the future, where WWX was Jiang Cheng's second in command, was never going to work long-term. Their personalities and their established relationship both work against that plan. WWX is a natural leader; we see him take point and take command over and over in the course of the series. When he believes he sees the right thing to do, he just does it. He doesn't ask permission first. When the Wens draw swords, WWX is the first one to draw in return and the others who do follow his lead, including Jiang Wanyin. And WWX does, I think, instinctively think of Jiang Cheng as his 'little brother' that ultimately he needs to protect for that reason, which is a different kind of protection that you would do for your leader.

One of the Jiang disciples who draws a sword is a woman. We don't get as many female disciples/cultivators as we do men but they are there and there are some important ones. Though none that I can think of in the present timeline, as opposed to the past one, apart from briefly seeing MianMian again. I will keep a look out when we get back to the present.

    Meng Yao shields Nie Huaisang similarly to how Jiang Cheng shields Jiang Yanli (though Meng Yao doesn't have a sword). It really must have been devastating for Nie Huaisang to realize that Jin Guangyao killed his brother, because Nie Huaisang did have reasons to trust him and believe he was 'like family' in a similar way to how Wei Wuxian was family to the Jiang clan.

    Wen Qing seems more like she's holding Wen Ning back than she's shielding him. It's interesting. It might be part of her playing cool in front of Wen Chao. Not certain. We haven't gotten to see Wen Ning's personality much so far, except that he's relatively timid.

    They make a point of showing us how impressed Meng Yao is with Lan Xichen playing to diffuse the situation and disarm everyone.

I love this dynamic. We only really get it for a short time, considering, but Nie Huaisang's open admiration of WWX does set up some positive ulterior motives for him wanting to bring back WWX specifically to help him get revenge on his brother. Not just that he believes WWX to be the most capable but also that, though he might never have said it openly, but perhaps he believes that WWX deserved a second chance at life. And poor long-suffering Jiang Wanyin, who knows — just knows! — that having an admirer probably means WWX will get into even more trouble than he would have otherwise.

And, you know, that's probably true.

Meng Yao is literally just waiting around for Lan Xichen to get out of his meeting with Lan Qiren so that he can say goodbye to him specifically (the meeting had a lot of plot stuff, but some good characterization in showing that Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren are wary about Wen clan's intentions but determined to hold to their own standards and ideals anyway).  

So, this tiny tiny smile of Meng Yao's that we see him have right before he heads over to say goodbye to Lan Xichen is probably about a thousand times more sincere than all the big dimpled smiles we get later. No one is looking at him yet, he's just smiling because he's glad he has a chance to say goodbye to this one specific person who publicly singled him out as worthy despite what the gossiping people were saying. I think that it happened in public actually meant a great deal to Meng Yao? WWX is kind to him later on, in the Unclean Realm, but that's in private and it doesn't seem to have the same kind of emotional impact. Meng Yao's reputation means so much to him, so LXC openly stating Meng Yao's worth in front of the entire group of students and Lan Qiren is something that not only affects him personally but something that can positively affect his reputation as well, which means it affects him personally even more than it would otherwise.

At the end of this conversation, Meng Yao bows deeply to Lan Xichen and Lan Xichen doesn't only stop him from doing it, but directly calls them peers. And it's hard for Meng Yao to leave! Once he turns away from Lan Xichen, we can see in his face that it's difficult. And, of course, there's the lingering touch that comes for my life. The Lan brothers and their silent heartbreaks, I swear.

(why am I like this, honestly? This is like me getting into Steven Universe because I saw Garnet's "Stronger Than You" and then ending up having my heart repeatedly ripped in two by the tragedy of Pearl and Rose; and, like, I adore Rupphire. But sometimes my heart just wants a tragedy between two people who just didn't quite know the right ways to love each other, I guess!)

So! (and this is just rampant speculation that I will never get answers on because, again, I believe none of this is in the novel but) I wonder how long Meng Yao was originally planning on staying? Because Lan Xichen is surprised he's leaving so soon, and he'd had a seat right behind Nie Huaisang at the greeting ceremeny, so it seems like him leaving immediately was more prompted by his realization that even in the Cloud Recesses, he wasn't going to be able to escape the whispers about his parentage. In the drama, they mostly likely just wanted to introduce him to the audience and to Lan Xichen, but he didn't fit into the other plans they had for this section of the story, so they had him head off, but internal to the character and not taking the behind the scenes stuff into account, it seems like he was planning on staying longer, initially.

WWX and Nie Huaisang's scene together is adorable, and it's super-cute to see them having such innocent fun times. It does contrast strongly against WWX's scene right after with Wen Qing. He plays the fool with her, but it is obvious play-acting and not true light-heartedness the way it was with Nie Huaisang moments earlier. So we get to see two sides of WWX there, the genuine playfulness and the pretend playfulness as he tries to figure out what Wen Qing is doing. There's a lot of subtle things going on with the facial acting that makes it clear when he's being genuine and when he's playing pretend that I enjoy.

Now it's the night of that same day, and Jiang Yanli has made soup for her brothers. I'm trying to remember if we ever actually see Jiang Yanli eat, because I know she doesn't eat anything here (theory: she eats while she's cooking and thus is full when it comes time to actually sit down for the meal? my mom does that sometimes when she's done a lot of cooking). I'm going to keep an eye on that because I'm genuinely curious. Jiang Cheng is stressing out over WWX, again, because it's pretty much his self-appointed job tbh. Jiang Yanli just wants him to chill and accept that WWX is WWX. 

Another thing Jiang Cheng says here is something that resonates through his storyline with WWX: when will WWX take Yunmeng's Jiang clan into consideration? That's the tension line between WWX and Jiang Cheng for large parts of their flashback plotline together — Jiang Cheng wants WWX to be devoted to Jiang clan, but WWX keeps considering other things to be just as important. Because WWX doesn't ever treat Jiang clan as unimportant but he doesn't always treat it as the most important. And, to Jiang Cheng, it is absolutely the most important thing. Which makes perfect sense for him to feel, as he's the heir, so he has to consider the future of the clan and weigh it against the risks of acting. We see Lan Xichen do the same — he has to think about the politics, the optics of the situation. And that's something that WWX rarely thinks about ahead of time or, if he does, it's to scorn the idea that the optics should matter.

When Jiang Yanli points out that WWX's behavior actually fits their clan history and motto, this takes us to another puzzle piece of that tension — Jiang Cheng's jealousy. Here, it's not so bad. It comes and goes, depending on the situation. But WWX is naturally talented and also lives up to the clan's motto effortlessly, so again it's very understandable that Jiang Cheng feel jealous, honestly. Not always pretty, but understandable.

We do some time skipping, as everyone attends class (I do not see Wen Qing anywhere in the class when I look, so she's not trying all that hard at the 'undercover' part of her undercover spying — or maybe she changed into white robes too and that's why I can't spot her) and WWX is a brat and the class clown. Almost everyone but Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan seem amused by him. Lan Wangji is definitely way more annoyed by WWX at this point than anything else, because it looks to him like WWX isn't willing to take things seriously. And I'm pretty sure Jin Zixuan thinks that WWX as just as arrogant as WWX thinks that JZX is, which is kinda funny.

We also get the first appearance of one of WWX's cute lil papermen. They're so adorable, as is the little 'nodding off to sleep' thing he does with them. Luckily, Lan Qiren snaps him out of it before Lan Wangji crumples the paperman, because I think from what they say later on, that was actually kinda dangerous if he'd still been inside it.

Lan Qiren, after catching WWX out on not paying attention in class, quizzes him. WWX is able to answer all his straight-forward questions easily and is obviously proud of himself, so Lan Qiren gives him a more challenging one, a question that deals with the practicalities of actually being a cultivator and making the choices that they need to make in these cases of literal life and death. And so we get our first mentions in the flashback of using resentful energy/demonic cultivation. Again, laying the groundwork for later, but doing it while also showing us character and relationship dynamics, which I like. Lan Qiren is really pissed off at WWX's suggestion to use resentful energy, to the point of throwing something at him (there's probably a rule against that) and kicking him out of class for the day.

Lan Wangji, of course, is the student who provides the model-perfect answer of what is correct according to 'proper' cultivation. What I really like about this section is that when Wei Wuxian challenges the idea of the proper method of cultivation, Lan Wangji actually interrupts his uncle so that he can answer Wei Wuxian back (I don't think he noticed that he was interrupting his uncle; he just really really had to correct Wei Wuxian; it was Vitally Important). Wei Wuxian, though, directs his response back to Lan Qiren. I do feel for Lan Qiren here. You get the impression that a student has never kept arguing back to him for so long and he gets so flustered over it (and over what Wei Wuxian is actually saying too, of course).

One of the things that does make WWX's behavior different than, say, Jin Guangyao is that WWX doesn't keep his methods a secret. He doesn't try to hide the 'how' of what he's doing, even when he knows everyone will disdain him for it. He owns it, essentially, which he what he says to Lan Wangji way in the future during the episode where Lan Wangji is drunk — he made his choices and he will live with the consequences and it's no one else's responsibility.

I do understand, from what I've read, that WWX is softened a bit in the drama — some things that are his responsibility in the novel aren't his fault here — but we see here that he was already aware of and willing to go down this road of cultivating resentful energy so in that, at least, the intention is there from the start. And Lan Qiren points out that there's the essential problem that Wei Wuxian doesn't know how to actually keep the resentful energies from causing collateral damage, and WWX doesn't have an answer for that.

And then, of course, WWX does not actually go to the library to copy the rules, as Lan Qiren ordered, but goes off to the forbidden back area with the lakes and waterfalls instead. So, you know, good call on sending Wangji to go babysit him tbh.

But it means that WWX gets to meet Wen Ning!

It's a super-cute meeting where WWX sees Wen Ning's great archery skills and compliments him, and then tells Wen Ning to think of them as equals. Wen Ning is apparently younger than everyone else, because he's too young to be a student at the lessons. I think the rest of them are supposed to be fifteen? That's what I've seen floating around online, but I'm not sure they ever say it on-screen. And WWX is a little embarrassed to say he was kicked out by the teacher, which is interesting.

And I guess we do get evidence here that Wen Qing is not attending class, because WWX is only not in class right now because he was kicked out.

The next scene is a 'cliffhanger' that gets reprised in the opening of episode 5, so I'll talk about then. This one is already really long (I say, as if it's likely they'll get shorter, lol).

Next time: Lan Zhan and Wei Ying get some private time in the library together!

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[headoverjojo]

Hey dude! If you’re still doing these, I was wondering if you can do some hcs of la Squadra members finding out that their short fem S/o is actually a highly competitive ballerina? Thank you so much! 💞

Hello! Oh, sure sure :3 Thank you for your request!! Here we go, hope you’ll like it :3

La Squadra di Esecuzione members find out that their short s/o is actually a highly competitive ballerina

(Under the cut for length!)

Risotto Nero

If there’s a thing that Risotto has learned in many years as hitman, is to never underestimate someone. He’s observant, he analyzes everyone’s movements -usually to always be ready to react in a fraction of second, but with his s/o he does so just for the pure pleasure to see her gracefully move around- and he immediately picked up something, about his s/o’s ones, a sort of fluid grace, a hidden power hidden in her movements… this is what, actually, caught his attention the very first time he saw her.

He continued to watch her closely, enchanted by her movements. Sometimes she seems to… dance, more than walk. And this makes him think. Maybe it’s so? He’s sincerely curious, by now. And, so, while he’s massaging her sore back -and his hands are perfect to loosen her tired muscles- he asks her if, by any chance, she dances, seeing her grace. He’s rewarded with a positive answer that makes him smile in satisfaction -he likes to be right- and that makes him feel even more curious.

Next time she goes to rehearsal, he follows her, hidden behind Metallica’s cover. He stays quietly hidden, admiring his s/o while she exercises, stretches and dances. He’s completely enchanted by her grace, by her powerful movements, by her fierceness… he didn’t think he could love her more than how he did, but, well, it happened. He’s proud of her, of her hard work… and he thinks she’s the best of her group. Since now he knows, he’s always ready to encourage her and he’d absolutely be present at every performance, hidden by Metallica, but it doesn’t matter: his s/o knows he’s here, watching her in pure awe and marvel, and this gives her strength and joy to dance even better than usual!

Prosciutto

The first thing Prosciutto notices about a person is how they move. It tells a lot about their behaviour, if they’re confident or shy, if they’re lazy or hyperactive and, especially, if there’s some physical flaw he can use at his advantage, the most important point for his job. So, his s/o’s way of moving around immediately caught his attention, in that apparently innate grace Prosciutto saw beauty and perfection.

Still, she’s not just grace, she’s also power. He can see it perfectly in how easily she does some movements that, he knows, require a good amount of strength. He’s at the same time baffled and curious by this: does she train? She has to train, to be so. Grace can be innate, but strength must me cultivate. And so he follows her, one day, just purely curious to see where she trains and what kind of exercises she does. He’s so astonished to see her entering a dance school! He waits for her outside the school and, when she’s out, he immediately asks her why she never told him she was a ballerina; she answered saying he never asked it.

From that moment, Prosciutto tries his best to be more present in her agonistic life, going to every performance, smiling proudly, feeling his heart swelling in admiration and love for her. She’s magnificent while she dances on the stage, graceful, strong, determined… she’s a vision. He never misses to bring her a bouquet of her favourite flowers, murmuring praises and giving her kisses on her cheeks, utterly proud of her.

Pesci

Pesci always found himself a bit awkward, being so tall and buffed, while walking around. He always tried to shrink himself as much as possible, wanting to pass unnoticed; a hard mission, being him, as said, so tall and buffed and with so particular green hair. His s/o, instead… she’s graceful, she’s fluid as water. Her steps have a certain rhythm and just by being near her he feels more confident and serene even in public. The fact that she always encourages him is an important bonus!

He knows that some people can be graceful by nature -as Melone is- but, even if he’s still a rookie, he can recognize when there’s a training behind some movements and there’s definitely a lot of training behind his s/o’s ones. She’s not just graceful, but strong and disciplined too! Every single movement of her is well calibrated and pondered, a perfect mixture of grace and effectiveness. He wishes to be like her! And, when he asks her what exercises she does, she says him she’s a ballerina.

Pesci tries to join her in some exercise routine at home. He always was too shy to hit a public gym, preferring to train at the HQ using Risotto’s weights, but he finds… nice to train with his s/o. She always encourages him, he actually has fun, with her… he feels at ease. And as much as she’s encouraging with him, he’s so with her! He always goes to her performances, applauding enthusiastically and bringing her flowers, with a proud, shining smile. She’s the best!!

Formaggio

Even if he seems so laid back and lazy, Formaggio is an observant man -and he has to be so, seen his job-, so he doesn’t miss how his s/o gracefully swirls and “dance” around, more than walking. He knows it’s not an act, that she’s so naturally; he’s pretty good at guess a fake act from a natural one. Sometimes he jokes about it, asking her to dance one second to him, to give her a good big kiss, but he sincerely admires her loveliness and fluidity!

As much as it can be natural, something like this requires also to be cultivated and exercised constantly, so he guesses that his s/o trains regularly. He’s not even pissed or annoyed by the fact that she never hinted at hit: all in all, he never asked about! And, when he does so, he’s not surprised to hear that yes, she trains regularly, but he is surprised when she says she’s a highly competitive ballerina! He never was a great fan of ballet, but for his s/o, well, maybe… he can change his mind!

He tries to go to see one of her performances and he’s baffled to see that he actually enjoyed it! More because his s/o was the étoile than anything else, but still! He falls again and again for her at every movement, at every step… she’s beauty, she’s grace and strength, she’s fierceness and gentleness all in a single body. He’s not so good at express such feelings in poetic words -this is more a Prosciutto-ish thing- but surely he knows how to express it with gestures and gazes. His eyes tell her everything he feels, all the admiration he feels for her and it’s the best reward after a difficult performance.

Melone

Melone is one graced with a natural fluidity and gracefulness. He seems to dance, more than walking; every step has a certain rhythm of its own. He knows it and he’s pretty proud of it; he noticed that his characteristic was present also in her s/o’s steps since day one. It would have been impossible not to notice how perfect and graceful her movements were! There’s a lightness, a prettiness in her movements impossible to miss. Melone loves to see it, it’s one of his favourite things in the world!

Being he graceful by nature, he never suspected she could be so thanks to training  until the day he saw exercising with her ballet shoes. He just stood at the door of her living room, his eyes widened, as he was trying to catch as much of her as possible. Her movements, how she shifted her legs and arms, the perfection of every step… now Melone can see the immense exercise that hides behind her gracefulness and he’s frankly baffled, before a deep admiration bubbles in his heart at the sight of his s/o training so hardly.

From that moment on, Melone is his s/o’s number one fan. He even trains with her -not at her levels, but he keeps her company-! He’s always present at her performances or if there’s some rehearsal open to public. He loves to watch his s/o in her habitat, to see her on the stage, to see her applauded as she deserves… and, if she feels too tired or down, he’s always here to remind her how good she is, how much she has improved, that everyone loves how she dances… he’s so supportive with her!

Illuso

Illuso knew that she trained, in a way or another, since he observed her closely both from the mirror world and the real world, but, to respect her privacy, he never actually spied on her thoroughly; he wouldn’t have had so much reserve with someone else, but his s/o is another story. She’s his precious treasure and he shows his love and respect also by respecting her boundaries and privacy. She’s not one of his common targets, all in all.

Still, he’s curious by nature, so he’d try to find out, as a normal man, his s/o’s “secret” in the simplest way: asking her about it. He’s surprised to hear she’s a highly competitive ballerina, but, all in all, now many things find, finally, an answer, such as her gracefulness, her uncommon strength, her incredible coordination… he should have suspect it!

Now that he knows, he’s always ready to support her. Since she exercises in a dance room with many mirrors, sometimes Illuso passes by, smiling at her from behind the reflective surface, visible just to her. Knowing that her lover passed by to see and encourage her gives her more determination and strength to complete flawlessly her rehearsal! And so, during performances, she can always give her best and more, while Illuso watches her and cheers for her, full of admiration for her.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio has a grace all on its own. It’s not the grace of a dancer, but one of a predator, of a very fast predator; training all his life as skater, he developed it since long time and, even when his White Album is not enveloping him, he shows it in an instinctive way in all his movements. He knows what agonistic training is and his eye is trained to recognize it in someone else; he doesn’t take a lot of time to see that also his s/o is an agonistic athlete.

Sport is one of the few things to completely interest him, so he’s immediately on her asking what is her sport. He’s surprised to know that she’s a ballerina! But also intrigued. He knows that dancers have a really rigorous and hard routine of exercises to follow, so he wants to see it and even try it with her, if he can. It’s not uncommon, so, to see the two of them training together in an amiable and comfortable silence, sometimes putting some music on. Their training helps them to be closer and closer, to be in synchrony, even to vent if they have discussed on something… it’s a great help for their love life!

He’s her number one fan and he’s really loud about it. When she feels down, he talks to her, serious and frowning, remembering her, in his harsh tone, all the victories and improvements she accomplished; if she doesn’t feel sure about a step or a part of her performance, he analyzes it and helps her to exercise more and more until she has mastered it flawlessly. He’s always at her performances, nodding with approval and pride and even smiling at her, just a little, when she looks at him.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 3/28/20

The Ancient Magus’ Bride, Vol. 12 | By Kore Yamazaki | Seven Seas – I’m still really enjoying reading The Ancient Magus’ Bride, but there’s no denying that it’s become almost a totally different manga from where it started, even if it does bring back a few guilt-ridden special guests. Chise is all grown up and now has grown-up problems, albeit grown-up student problems. We continue to worry away at labels—what is a bride, what is a daughter, etc.—which makes sense given that this is a world of magic, where names and relationships carry far more importance than they otherwise might. And we even get to have an old-fashioned camping trip, though unfortunately that ends up going very badly for Lucy, who suffers the cliffhanger ending. Still top tier, but very different. – Sean Gaffney

Black Clover, Vol. 20 | By Yuki Tabata | Viz Media – This long arc STILL isn’t over, but we do get a few good highlights, as with any good Jump title. The start has “my dreams become reality” magic, which ends up leading to a fun confrontation between the real, possessed person and their fake, good other self. Gauche and Marie are still possessed by elves, and their relationship remains fascinating both despite and because of that. And, in the final chapter, we get a revelation about Charmy that makes sense and is also completely hilarious—let’s face it, we just assumed she was superdeformed because it was funny. But it looks like it’s her appetite more than her size that’s needed here. This is meat-and-potatoes Jump, never great but usually decent. – Sean Gaffney

Blood on the Tracks, Vol. 1 | By Shuzo Oshimi | Vertical Comics – I wasn’t a fan of Oshimi-sensei’s Flowers of Evil, but the psychological suspense aspect of Blood on the Tracks appealed to me so much that I gave his work another try, and I’m glad I did! Seiichi Osabe is a meek thirteen-year-old who learns from his cousin Shigeru that other family members think his mother is overprotective. Throughout this first volume, Shigeru repeatedly draws Seiichi away from his mother’s side, culminating in a potentially deadly incident during a family hiking trip. The best part, though, is how expertly Oshimi cultivates an ominous atmosphere. From the first panel, Seiko’s control over her son is emphasized and a sense of foreboding pervades every scene, from her creepy facial caresses to a wordless pair of pages in which Seiichi blankly watches his mother vacuum. By the end, it’s finally obvious to Seiichi that something is very wrong. I’m looking forward to volume two! – Michelle Smith

Can an Otaku Like Me Really Be an Idol!? | By Wacoco Waco | KUMA – Takumi Suzuki is an otaku in his second year of high school who’s been crushing on his classmate, Misaki Hayakawa, ever since the entrance ceremony. After Suzuki discovers that Hayakawa is a fan of the same idol group he is, Hayakawa attempts to secure his silence by taking compromising photos of him cross-dressing as an idol. Turned on, Suzuki forces himself on Hayakawa and later agrees to try to become a real idol as a way of making up for his criminal deed. Obviously, the consent issue here is concerning, but I was gratified that Suzuki takes it seriously, and Hayakawa later says he would’ve been the aggressor if given the chance. Mostly, this is the story of two guys getting to pursue the thing they love with the person they love. Some parts are kinda wholesome. Some parts SUPER AREN’T. – Michelle Smith

The Conditions of Paradise | By Akiko Morishima | Seven Seas – This author has been long awaited in coming over here, and this is a collection of some of her stories from Comic Yuri Hime. The main story, which gets the cover, has a woman who has a structured life and her best friend and not-quite girlfriend, who is a freelancer in all senses of the word. They’ve known each other since school, and getting together feels both natural and right. The other stories also deal with relationships between adult women—the only high school seen is in a flashback—and that’s the selling point here. We’ve seen more of these manga lately with actual adults in yuri relationships. It hasn’t gotten old yet. This doesn’t feel as groundbreaking as it might have in Japan, but it’s still very good. – Sean Gaffney

Love Me, Love Me Not, Vol. 1 | By Io Sakisaka | VIZ Media – Love Me, Love Me Not is Io Sakisaka’s most recent series and features two co-heroines, something I don’t think I’ve seen since NANA. Yuna Ichihara is a shy, innocent girl who dreams of a destined, fairy tale love. Her new friend Akari Yamamoto thinks it’s possible to will yourself to fall in love with a boy who is available. They’ve just started high school and already they have romantic upheaval. Yuna has fallen in love with Akari’s princely brother Rio (which worries Akari since Rio is notoriously only interested in girls’ looks) and Akari’s been dumped by the boyfriend she thought loved her. She ends up confiding in Kazuomi Inui, Yuna’s childhood friend whom Akari hoped to set up with Yuna but who seems to have other ideas. Despite this synopsis, it’s not too melodramatic… until a reveal in the final pages. I’m already hooked. – Michelle Smith

The Quintessential Quintuplets, Vol. 8 | By Negi Haruba | Kodansha Comics – The start of this series had a lot of quintuplet-swapping antics, but it died down as Futaro got to know the others better. That changes here, as the majority of the book takes place on a trip to a hot spring he wins for his family… a hot spring that it turns out is run by the quintuplets’ grandfather, and they’re all there as well. What’s more, because of plot, they’re ALL dressed as Itsuki. What follows is mistaken identity shenanigans galore, showing off that Futaro still can’t guess which is the correct girl (which means he’s not ready to romance one) but also showing one of the quintuplets giving him a kiss… and we see in a flashforward it’s the bride. Who is the bride? Well, we have six volumes to go there. – Sean Gaffney

Snow White with the Red Hair, Vol. 6 | By Sorata Akiduki | Viz Media – Shirayuki and Yona may both have red hair, but it has to be said that Shirayuki is a more traditional heroine. Not that Yona doesn’t get captured as well from time to time, but the kidnapping here feels a lot more traditional. It also feels the prince riding to rescue her, which surprised me, as I thought we would continue the tradition of “he has to stay behind and be a prince.” We do get to see Kiki kicking ass, though I wish she’d finally get a storyline of her own. This series does a good job balancing its politics, romance and action sequences, and it actually does the commendable job of making me remember who the minor cast members are, always a danger. I’m still very happy this finally got picked up. – Sean Gaffney

By: Sean Gaffney