#they don’t care for the the connections with their clients anymore

[dejwrldarchived]

i want to write an article about how unethical and toxic the black hair styling community is. like i am so tired of stumbling on videos and tik toks of black women crying, ranting, etc over some stylist scamming them or canceling on them (and keeping the deposit), etc. like we should not be going through this by our own people.

[mitchipedia]

Reddit is speedrunning enshittification.

Hypothesis: The owners of the company are no longer interested in keeping the business going, and are just trying to maximize financial return by selling off every possible asset.

In Reddit’s case, the upcoming IPO isn’t the beginning of a new chapter in the business. It’s the end of the business.

The most financially valuable part of Reddit is its fat corpus of content, built by volunteers over many years, suddenly made valuable for training AI. Now, Reddit’s corporate owners want to sell access to that corpus. That is Reddit’s new business. It’s not a long-term business, because the corpus will decay in value over time. But it’s enough for the owners to cash out.

I’m inspired in this thinking by yesterday’s edition of Rusty Foster’s “Today in Tabs.”. I don’t think he’s making this exact point, but he’s putting all the dots down, without necessarily connecting them.

John Gruber at Daring Fireball notes that OpenAI already scooped up Reddit’s corpus of data when the APIs were free. The data has no value anymore.

Reddit already gave all its data to large companies for free. Huffman is trying to charge now for horses that were let out of the barn years ago. And he obviously doesn’t care about Apollo or other third-party Reddit clients, or what these moves do to Reddit’s reputation as a platform vendor. He’s just trapped in a fantasy where investors are going to somehow see Reddit as a player in the current moment of AI hype.

Also, on Ryan Broderick’s Garbage Day: “Platforms Don’t Really Make Sense Anymore”:

We tolerated large platforms, that were never all that good to begin with, because they were convenient and useful and part of a larger interconnected network of tools and apps and systems that made the digital world safer and more dynamic. So you’d think, if they were actively deciding to stop being part of that larger system and no longer interested in making the internet, as a whole, function better, they would, at the very least, try and be more convenient! But instead we’ve ended up in a situation where all the local stores are gone, Main Street is deserted, and the large Walmarts on the edge of town are being set on fire and left to rot.

[chocmoon-latte]

"Hancock has no regrets about becoming a ghoul"??

It baffles me when some people think Hancock has zero regrets about becoming a ghoul. Absolutely none at all apparently. Like yeah, he plays it up when you first meet him before he's a companion, but let's be real he plays up pretty much everything in regards to the whole "sexy king of the zombies" image he projects.

It takes travelling with you away from Goodneighbor to give him some time to be introspective for him to finally realize that him becoming a ghoul was just another escape route from himself again. He's got several lines of dialogue that literally reiterate this. It's a key point of his character:

Hell, running from myself is what made me into… into a damn Ghoul.

Well, I mean, I didn't always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a Ghoul, I knew what it was going to do.

I just couldn't stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore.

The coward who'd let all those Ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys.

If I took it, I'd never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I'd be free. Didn't seem like a choice at all. Turns out it was just me running from somethin' else in my life.

I mean, after reaching max affinity with you, he realizes that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all (because he's finally got an honest friend he can be open with now). He now feels comfortable where he is - but to imply that he doesn't have at least the tiniest amount of regret? Heck, if you go onto romance him (or attempt to), he stops referring to himself as handsome and literally starts calling himself ugly, which naturally goes entirely against the image he projects:

Why don't we just agree to keep it friendly for now or till they find a cure for ugly? Heh.

You don't want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.

You sure you want to be stuck with this ugly mug?

(You could even say he implies it beforehand with another line of dialogue elsewhere in-game when he says "I'd be mad too if I was that ugly." But that's a stretch I guess.)

Combine that with the fact that 99% of ghouls don’t choose to become ghouls. Hancock did. But he didn't do it for a fun experience. He was already in a bad place when he became a ghoul. He didn't turn to be cool and edgy like he pretended he did when first getting to know him.

He lost his appearance, any connections to his old identity and old friends/people he might’ve been associated with (for better or worse), and in return gained hostility from bigots towards him for merely existing, from an overwhelming majority of the Commonwealth population that hates ghouls. There's the Institute and Brotherhood who want to kill anyone like him on top of that. Plenty of people out there who think he and other ghouls are monsters for just being alive.

Not only that, but something which adds onto this is the fact that he's a client of the Memory Den, and they're very selective with their customers. And what's the whole point of the Memory Den? Reliving past memories. Irma's terminal entry about Hancock, as well as the other two ghoul clients Kent and Daisy, all imply the memories they go back to relive are primarily from their human days. (The one on Hancock straight up says "if you thought he was handsome and dangerous now, you should've seen him before he turned ghoul.")

I genuinely refuse to believe that Hancock has never had any regret whatsoever about becoming a ghoul. The man who's spent a decent chunk of his life running from his own problems instead of confronting them, has NO regrets about taking a drug that alters his entire being and functionality on a biological level and will force him to outlive everyone he knows? This man is FULL of regrets!

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read on AO3, I don’t remember anything really more than that there was some kind of big entity in a town which noone but Wei Ying could see? The other character’s would be like ”nothing is wrong with this town :-)”. Thankful for help! Have a nice day and thank you for your work <3

#1, can u ask the requestor is Wei ying lived at the edge of the woods/forest ??

FOUND! Not What We May Be by brooklinegirl (E, 29k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Mutual Pining, Bedsharing, casefic, Hurt/Comfort) though its not only wwx who sees it. Great fic.

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2. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic where LWJ was cursed/blessed by his mom with a truth spell for LWJ's safety? It's not really the typical, your average "I speak the truth" one, but it's how LWJ can hear lies in the form of sounds that only he can hear! If i remember correctly, LXC knows about it and asked NMJ (blunt truths) and NHS (white lies) to help him control it. There's also scenes where he's stumped because WWX almost always speak the truth (thus making no lie detector sound for LWJ — which boggles him so much because no one always speak the whole truths even in CR — except the couple of times when he was speaking about his time in Lotus Pier). Thank you! (I'm pretty sure this is a fic by @i-like-plan-m but I can't remember the name rn 😅 - Mod C)

FOUND! in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 48k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad, WIP) this one perhaps?

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3. hi i’ve been looking for a fic that i read a while ago but can’t remember what it’s called. Basically WWX is hired by LWJ for company/sex and he’s kinda like a sugar baby and stays at his house a lot. LWJ is a rich lan and both end up having feelings for eachother but bc LWJ started basically as WWXs client of sorts there’s some confusion. I remember at one point WWX gets sick and lets LWJ come to his house which he usually wouldn’t do with past clients and LWJ helps him shower and there’s a line where he talks abt the intimacy of letting LWJ wash his crotch (pretty sure he lives w wen qing) Then i think LWJ takes WWX to like new york or something on a work trip

these were the only things i could remember lol @st3wartladle​

FOUND? The Sugar Daddy AU Series by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 106k, wangxian, modern, sugar daddy, sex work, dom/sub, aftercare, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, bondage, boundary setting, relationship negotiation) specifically the first part A Sure Thing

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4. Hi! For the fic finder, two fics I enjoyed but apparently failed to bookmark, and now cannot find back...

A) Complete, medium length: Lan Zhan steps into the path of Wen Zhuliu coming for Wei Ying, loses his golden core. Afterwards, he tells no one but goes into seclusion. WWX is fine, and eventually comes to visit in Gusu. LWJ is reclusive as he is not a cultivator anymore (so he grows old faster than WWX), but they still build a connection. No solution for the golden core, just dealing with the new facts of life for LWJ, and building back some hope.

B) Similar in vibes, also complete: WWX travels to an alternative universe, where JC died and WWX is somehow the Jiang Sect Leader. He meets LWJ at a conference. The new universes' WWX was not friends with LWJ. LWJ's leg was still broken after the Wen Indoctrination and never healed, so LWJ is wheelchair bound (pushed by Jingyi). WWX builds up a friendship with LWJ but I think in the end he goes back to his own universe. This one sounds like that one fic where the theme was something like 'be careful what you wish for', iirc WWX wanted to see either his parents or JYL alive 🤔 ~Mod L

Any help would be much appreciated! As well as any other dimension travel recs anyone has. Thanks again for this wonderful blog! @vasterthanempires

I found 4A myself! It was love some littler things by shipyrds

4B remains elusive, although the comments so far seem to refer to the same fic. still looking for it!

4A)

FOUND! love some littler things by shipyrds (G, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, LWJ Loses His Golden Core, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Disability)

4B I have read but also cannot recall! Additional details, it was an alternate dimension talisman WWX created, and when he leaves any changes he might have cause are erased but somehow wheelchair!LZ starts an actual friendship with local!WWX? not sure if it was a bonus chapter or an endnote but I recall I was happy that it was a hair ending for both sets...

4B)

FOUND? empty as the sky by incendir (T, 23k, wangxian, JYL & WWX, CSSR & WWX, be careful what you wish for)

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5. Howdy fine folks of the internet! I'm looking for a Twitter thread fic that disappeared from my bookmarks during some twitter turmoil, if any of yall can help. It was a modern au where wwx got kicked out of the Jiang home and stayed in a shed on school property while using the school showers and eating leftovers from the cafeteria overnight, until lqr, lxc, and nmj catch him. It had some really great depictions of panic attacks and I want back. Thanks

FOUND! Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 16k, wangxian, modern, high school au, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced homophobia, coming out, not Jiang family friendly, supportive LQR, good sibling LXC, fluff, angst w happy ending, WIP)

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6. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where lan xichen had harsh realization of his wrong doing by supporting jin guangyao. (If this is actually an Itmf let me know and I will move it - Mod C)

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7. Hi, I've been trying to find this wangxian fic so badly. Like canon divergence lan xichen notices that wei ying likes lan zhan during cloud reases arc and starts convincing his teachers to change their style for him and his ADHD Genius and teach him about his own self worth so as to steal him away from Jiang sect. Like Jiang chan has an argument where Wei Ying finally stands up to him and it's so good. Think its ABO, dont remember. Please help

FOUND? might be 💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting) although it's FoxWWX and DragonLans not A/B/O

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8. Hello <3 I'm looking for a modern AU fic where Lan Wangji contracts Mo Xuanyu as a companion for the night but mistakes him for Wei Wuxian in the hotel they would meet up. So they spend the whole night together and the chemistry is off the charts until Mo Xuanyu sends him a message later (or in the morning after, I can't exactly remember) saying that he never showed up. Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian about the misunderstanding and Wei Ying, who was thrilled with his attention, gets pretty hurt and they end things pretty tense. I remember that it's the anniversary of the passing of his mother or her anniversary, and Lan Wangji didn't want to spend it alone. After he explains that to Wei Ying, they try giving their date another chance. That's all I remember for sure that happens, I hope these details are enough!

FOUND! Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)  

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9. I need help on finding a fic. It's about how wei wuxian created his own sect from a past syndicate movements, he transformed it into a merchant/shops/silk road or something similar. He never went with the jiangs or any sects. When he was still on the streets he got betrayed by an "esteemed" cultivator because of false accusations (vendor told the cultivator that he caught wei wuxian stealing from him, but in actuality wei wuxian was at the wrong place at the wrong time), it was another kid that stole a toy from a merchant, if I'm not wrong. He was also a part of an illegal underground fights where he "won the bet" against the strongest fighter. He's also claimed by wen qing to be the killer of a murder because the only one who knows around needles is herself, and she met wei wuxian and taught him the arts of needles. There's also a wei wuxian - xue yang connection by said syndicate because the chang sect was a part of it.

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10. hi! i was wondering if you could help me find this one fanfic that i can't for the love of me remember at all!!!

the details are a bit hazy, but basically burial mounds era something happens that fucks up wei wuxian mentally and physically and he starts dreaming about things in the future,,,, meanwhile the whole jianghu is plunged into chaos with disasters and that one specific bird thing.

i think there was one time wei wuxian did a "no shit serlock!" joke but then said "oh wait, wrong timeline."

FOUND? To Ride A Stygian Tiger by Madyamisam (M, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Angst with a happy ending, BAMF WWX, Dark LWJ, Slow burn, Family Feels, Misunderstandings)

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11. hwoooooo! :D back at it again with the asks, thank you so much for your services to the community!

im looking for a time travel fic for my bff!

it's in Lwj's pov in which he dreams about an older version of him, who tells him to treat wei ying kindly, and how the future lwj's world is completely frozen as a result of his sacrifice in order to safe a different timeline.

Future Lwj gets a happy ending in the last chapter!

FOUND? 💖 Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed T, 29k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, fluff, nostalgia, mild angst w/ happy ending)

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12. hi! i'm looking for a fic where there was quarantine and wangxian went to stay at the family house (it was so big like a mansion or an apartment i don't really remember).

remember a scene where jingyi was having a panic attack (?) and wei ying came to calm him down. they were at the balcony. i think they were adopting jingyi.

i don't know if it is finished or deleted.

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13. hello!! i hope y’all are doing well ☺️ the fic I’m looking for was definitely on ao3 but idk if it got deleted or I just can’t find it again but here’s what I remember

1) Wei wuxian died taking the arrows to save jin zixuan’s life. Initially people celebrated until the (sentient) burial mounds retaliated and destroyed most of the jin sect and people started panicking and trying to bring back wwx (jin zixuan, jin ling, and Jiang yanli all live)

2) parts of Wei wuxian’s diary was scattered amongst the cultivation world and Jin ling buys the pages and develops a sort of parasocial relationship w his dead uncle who he idolizes based on the image he creates of him thru wwx’s writing

3) i think one of the latest updates (it wasn’t finished when I read it) is wwx coming back as Mo xuanyu and running into jin ling and jiang cheng who recognize him.

Im pretty sure the wens are alive as well (not 100% tho). If this rings any bells please let me know - I’ve seriously looked for this for a solid couple of weeks and I loved it a lot 😭 thank you!! 💓

FOUND? To Be Named by Suibian_613 (T, 18k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, WQ is out of character, Everyone is probably ooc, canonical violence, Canonical Character Death, Somewhat Sentient Burial Mounds)

FOUND? I shall pay for all your sorrows by MidnightLightHowlite (G, 3k, JZX & WWX, XuanLi, angst with bitter ending)

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14. A fanfic where Wei Wuxian is found by Lan Qiren as he saves him from something and then faints. It’s a modern AU, Lan Qiren takes him to the hospital and later they learn that he has fits and he becomes a teacher at the school. Lan Zhan and he marries later on and adopts Wen Yuan from an orphanage run by Wen Qing and Wen Ning. @hebbbb

FOUND? Against Entropy by Duochanfan (M, 40k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, of an underaged character, Amnesia, Drama, Romance, Family Feels, Hurt WWX, Older JC, Homelessness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Supportive LXC, Protective NMJ, Supportive LQR)

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15. Hi I want to ask is there a wangxian fanfiction where lan zhan is a prince and wei wuxian is a huli jing and becomes his consort by forced marriage but instead wei ying is against this loveless marriage and so everytime they sleep it's always hate s£× until he gets preg and gives birth to a yuan and tries his best to give him love until he dies protecting a yuan from a wen attack and that day he realises wangji actually loved him dies and gets reincarnated and tries to fix things @random-online-reader

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16. Hi there! I am looking for a fic that takes place during the war against the wens and mo xuanyu does the self sacrifice to summon wwx who is thought to project himself as his original form, but (SPOILERS) he is immortal and lwj is the reincarnation of his lover. Baoshan Sanren also makes an appearance after the last stand against wen ruohan

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline)

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17. Hello, can you help me find a fic?

Generally, all I remember was that WWX went back to the past (Studying at GusuLan Arc) after dying during the Burial Mound Siege. He was so traumatized over it that he has decided he does not want anything to do with the cultivation world anymore. His personality changed (from cheerful to downright depressed, from lively to soulless) so much that everyone began to notice and wondered what was up.

However, I remember a scene which pushed him to flee Gusu. He was walking and listening as NHS talked and talked trying to get him back to his old personality. They met NMJ on the way. WWX on pilot mode said that he (NMJ) has heart demons and without ado removed the resentful energy lingering inside NMJ. This shocked the Nie brothers, the Twin jades and JC (the latter two having just arrived and witnessed WWX manipulating resentful energy).

WWX obviously panicked, packed his belongings and flees from GusuLan because he thought they would kill him again due to his manipulation of resentful energy.

Please help me find this fic. I've been searching the web for weeks. Sadly, my browser history was disabled at that time and I don't remember the title. @heratheslytherinqueen

FOUND? Possible Works 2 - Numb by Hauntcats (M, 6k, wangxian, angst w happy ending, unhappy WWX, time travel fix-it)

FOUND? Without end by barisan (M, 70k, wangxian, major character death, time travel, suicide attempt, hurt/comfort, depressed WWX, protective LWJ, good uncle LQR, bad parents JFM & YZY, not YZY & JFM & Jiang friendly, implied/referenced child abuse & self harm, BAMF WWX, WIP)

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18. So there was this fic in which wei wuxian modified nei huaisang's fan or something like that so it can be used as a weapon while in CR and also at some point nmj wrote a letter thanking him and asking him what he would like as payment but wwx replied that it was a gift for a friend

I don't think this was a major plot point of the story though. Thanks

FOUND? Eyes Wide Shut by Netrixie (T, 65k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, canon divergence, no sunshot, everyone lives au, enemies to friends to lovers, identity porn, mistaken identity, misunderstanding, slow burn) when I read that I immediately thought of this fic just bc it sounds so similar, but it's lxc that gives nhs the fan, and nmj gets mad at lxc for it. and also it's nielan. maybe this is what you're looking for?

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19. Hi again! I'm in need of help for finding a fic that I forgot to bookmark AGAIN🥹

How i remember it, It's how WWX died and get "resurrected" as a ghost thing by another character (could be Hua Cheng, could be Luo Binghe idk they definitely wore robes with the color red and black lol). So WWX started chatting with his "savior" and they told him that he can grow powerful by eating other demons in the BM(?) But as he grew powerful, he also shapeshifted as a white tiger for a while because he needs to hunt to maintain his human form, and by doing so he needs a lot of demon meat so he needs to catch food with his tiger form a lot (I'm kinda confusing myself if WWX started as a tiger from beginning or not, but it definitely involves him as a ghost/tiger!)

Other details that I kinda remember: 1) he re-introduced himself to the cultivation world as "Wei Wuqian" or something similar, he thought it was funny 2) nearby people who lived around the place WWX would hunt depicted him as a guardian/god and would gift him some spicy meat as prayers 3) said people would defend him when cultivators were trying to hunt this weirdly nice, babysitting as a secondary job, only likes his meat spicy tiger kitty that they call "evil spirit, dangerous and needs to be gone" 4) I think he has white hair but can change to black, it could be somewhat glowing hair but I'm not sure about this detail 5) LWJ definitely tried the "give big kitty spice and he'll play nice" trick he got from the village people to see if it was a malevolent ghost or not 6) tiger!WWX had been written eating a corpse in the fic at least once

FOUND? Wuqian, the Local God of Yiling by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (M, 77k, wangxian, WWX & LSZ & LWJ, major character death, canon divergence, angst w/ happy ending, god WWX, Chinese mythology & folklore, pining, temporary character death, WIP)

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20. Hi, I'm looking for the the story I've read before. I think it's about Wuxian are cursed to feel pain each time Jiang Wanyin close to him at Cloud recesses. It's kinda Jiang Wanyin bashing. I think Wei Wuxian took the cursed meant for Lan Wangji.

FOUND? I’ll Take the Path of Thorns by Admiranda (G, 6k, wangxian, cloud recesses study era, curses, not JC friendly, clever WWX, baby wangxian)

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[jjngkook7]

Regrets (Yoongi)

Ceo Au! / Angst w a happy ending(ofc haha) / Implications of smut but not smut / Ex’s back to lovers

Summary: Yoongi had worked hard to get where he was currently at. He's never felt any remorse despite lying, stealing and playing dirty to be successful. The only time he's ever regret any of his actions was when he lost her.

______________________________________________________________

Despite his best efforts not to roll his eyes, Yoongi’s annoyance was evident by how hard he was pinching the bridge of his nose. These meetings made him rethink how much his presence was needed. He didn’t trust anyone enough to not be here just in case there was something he needed to be in the loop about but he also knew that all these meetings were a waste of time.

“Is there anything else that anyone needs to add?” Taehyung, Yoongi’s personal assistant asked.

Before anyone could speak, Yoongi had already mentally checked out. He had already begun to close his laptop and was thinking about taking an extra long lunch.

“Oh yes! Next week, Home’s higher ups will be partnering with us until the end of the month. Everything is prepared for them.” one of Yoongi’s employees said.

Shit. He had completely forgotten. How could he forget? He had drawn multiple exaggerated circles over this date and set a reminder on every device he had. Not only was Home a very important client but she worked there.

“Thank you for that reminder. If there’s nothing else anyone needs to say, have a great rest of your day!” Taehyung chimed.

As the employees left the conference room, Taehyung kept his boxy smile on until the last person left before closing the door and scowling.

“Could’ve been a fucking email yet again.” Taehyung sighed, flopping onto one of the chairs not caring whether or not he rolled into another chair or the table.

Yoongi sat still in his seat, his mind going a million miles a second. The thought of taking a long lunch had completely left his head and all he could think about was their reunion. It had been almost half a year since they had broken up and he hadn’t heard a word from her since. The only connection he had of her were the bits and pieces of information regarding her work since their careers intertwined. One time, Taehyung showed Yoongi a photo she posted on Instagram with some guy which prompted Yoongi to then delete all the social media apps on his phone. Yoongi was a hard worker to begin with but after she left, he poured all his energy towards his company and rose to the very top. She was there from the very beginning and it was a shame that she wasn’t there when he finally made it. Back then he was only able to take her to the restaurants in their neighbourhood where they ate shitty pasta and stale Chinese food but now, he could give her anything she ever wanted. Granted she was never materialistic and seemed to enjoy their cheap dates instead, it was Yoongi who wanted more. In her own words, he would never be satisfied and he used to argue against that but now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Don’t tell me you’re not over her.” Taehyung chuckled.

Yoongi’s eyes darted over to Taehyung who was sitting directly across Yoongi watching him with a knowing look on his face. His elbows were against the table and his chin resting on his clasped hands.

“We just signed a multimillion dollar contract and she’s what you’re thinking about?” Taehyung sucked his teeth.

“You haven’t changed at all.” Yoongi retorted, leaning back against his chair.

“And you have?” Taehyung shot back.

Yoongi closed his eyes and drummed his fingers against the conference table trying to block out Taehyung’s presence. Taehyung had been his partner from the very beginning. From eating expired sandwiches in their rented basement suite to drawing out the blueprint of this company to partaking in phishing schemes to now being one of the leading production companies in the world, he’d take a bullet for Taehyung but fuck was he annoying sometimes.

“Anyways we have three more meetings this afternoon so in the meantime, practice smiling or something.” Taehyung said before leaving Yoongi alone in the conference room.

Yoongi's phone buzzed and as if the universe was mocking him, it was his calendar reminder for next week. With a few taps, he set another reminder to alert him 24 hours before their reunion.

____________________________________

She smoothed her skirt as she anxiously waited for the elevator to reach her floor. This was a big day for her. The company she worked for was partnering with the top leading production company in the world and she was tasked with making sure everything was ready for her team. Unfortunately, her ex was the CEO and whether she liked it or not, she would have to remain professional and courteous. As the elevator reached closer and closer to her destination, she felt her heart begin to race. She hadn’t seen Yoongi in six months and still had so much pent up anger towards him. One, because he never fought to keep her and essentially opened the door for her to walk out of and two, because despite being the one to initiate the break up, here she was walking back into his domain. Yoongi always got what he wanted.

As the elevator doors opened, she was sure she was going to throw up until a familiar face greeted her with his signature smile and loud voice.

“Welcome!” Taehyung boomed, with his arms spread wide open.

“Taehyung!” she reciprocated his excitement, gladly accepting a big hug from him.

Taehyung was Yoongi’s eccentric friend whom she grew to love. He had a pretty face with a good heart to match even though he was the brains behind all the grimy shit they used to do together. She didn’t only lose Yoongi when they broke up but Taehyung too. She had become good friends with him, often confiding in him when her and Yoongi were going through their rough patches. Taehyung was also the one who supported their breakup near the end of everything. Taehyung and her had kept in contact for a little bit but life became too busy for both of them ultimately leading to their friendship taking a huge hit as well.

The first hour consisted of Taehyung taking her on a tour of their building as well as introducing her to anyone who walked by. She began making bets on who he was fucking based on their interactions. To her surprise, Taehyung hadn’t hooked up with anyone. “I’ve turned a new leaf. It’s not a good look for a boss to have sex with their employees, you know.” was what he said before whiplashing her with the number of people he did hook up with at her company.

“And this is your office for the month.” Taehyung smiled, unlocking the door to a small room.

She marvelled at the sight before her when they walked in. With their floor being so high up and her desk beside the window, she had the entire view of the city. If it weren’t for Yoongi being the CEO, she would’ve asked to have her office here permanently. Home was a great company but her office was located on the first floor giving her a beautiful view of the sidewalk.

The clearing of Taehyung’s throat reeled her back into reality and she stepped away from the window.

“Your office is right next to Yoongi’s so that communication between you and him will be easily accessible.” Taehyung stated matter of fact.

She hoped Taehyung didn’t see her wince at Yoongi’s name. All that mental preparation she did when she found out that they’d be partnering with his company seemed to serve no purpose now that she was here.

“Speaking of Yoongi, is he here today? There are some documents that he needs to sign.” she asked, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

Taehyung nodded as he pulled out his phone to check the notification that just came in. She waited as Taehyung typed away at his phone before putting it away.

“Sorry I have somewhere I need to be.” he sighed and she waved her hand in front of her face letting him know that it’s no big deal.

As Taehyung made his way out of her office, he quickly ran through a list of meetings coming up and people she needed to know-all of which she made no mental note of.

“Oh!” he suddenly exclaimed, popping his head in past the door frame, “be nice to him today. I don’t think he slept at all last night.”

She stood still for a minute after Taehyung’s exit just trying to sort out her surroundings. She decided to go see Yoongi about those documents later-as late as she could push seeing him and set up her space. She made her way to her desk, placing her bag on her chair. There was a note and a small gift basket she hadn’t noticed earlier due to her excitement over the windows. The note was every corporate thank you card, even down to the font. Welcome and thank you for your cooperation and partnership. Please accept this gift basket on behalf of our team. We’re excited to work alongside you!

The gift basket however was not your typical chocolates and bottle of wine. She felt her stomach turn and a lump begin to form in her throat as she carefully looked through the basket. Inside were all her favorite snacks. Snacks that one would find in specific mom and pop ran convenience stores and snacks that only Yoongi would know she liked. Letting out a shaky breath, she pushed everything aside and unpacked her bag. It had been very hard rebuilding herself and putting together her new reality without Yoongi. Yoongi gave her no closure and then proceeded to do very well without her. It would have to take more than some gift basket to move her.

As the day went on, she had actually forgotten about seeing Yoongi. Between making sure everything was well on her company’s side and making sure the merge with Yoongi’s company would be seamless, there was no time to be sentimental or nostalgic. Her eyes stayed on her computer screen after telling whoever was knocking on the door to come in.

“Sorry, give me one second…I just have to send this email really quickly.” she apologized, typing as quickly as she could when she heard the door close from behind whoever it was.

“Take your time.”

Suddenly the email became irrelevant as her fingers slowed down to a halt. She tried her best to piece together what was left of the email she had to send with her mind clouded and foggy. When the ‘sent’ notification popped up, she swallowed the lump in her throat from earlier and slowly raised her head. She locked eyes belonging to a face she missed so much and also didn’t want to see.

“I hope I didn’t intrude or anything.” Yoongi said.

“No no, I’m basically done for the day.” she replied.

“How was the first day here?” he asked.

As she talked, Yoongi had to remind himself to not let his eyes wander. After half a year, he was only to make eye contact with her which wasn’t fair. In the years they were together, he had memorized her body like a prayer. He knew where every beauty mark was and where every scar from childhood injuries lay. He still remembered how she liked to be touched and if she let him, he’d have her writhing and moaning under him. Yoongi had to give up a lot of things to be where he was at and he didn’t care. Some of the things he had to give up were essential to his wellbeing such as sleeping and eating but those things took up time and as the old saying goes, money is time and time is money. Her leaving however was his biggest loss that he’d never recuperate from.

“I’m glad to hear everything went well today,” Yoongi nodded, “we’re excited to have everyone here in the next few days. Taehyung said you were going to see me to give me documents to sign but since it’s almost the end of your work day I thought I’d swing by instead.”

“Oh yes!” she dug through her bag grabbing the papers, “sorry it’s just been so busy. I meant to see you but lost track of time.”

This was kind of the truth. She had been very busy but she also did try to avoid seeing Yoongi as much as she could. Now that he was here in front of her, she had nowhere to hide. As long as she remained professional, there shouldn’t be an issue.

“Is this all?” Yoongi asked, sorting the papers on his lap.

“Yes, that's the last of all the paperwork Jin needs from you. I’m glad you came to see me because that was the last thing on my lis-“

“Jin?” Yoongi cut her off, eyes still on the papers.

To most people, Yoongi’s cadence remained in one tone. It was hard to hear any inflection from the way he spoke but she’d known him for so long that noticing any changes in his voice was like second nature.

“Yes Jin, the founder of Home?” she would be shocked if Yoongi didn’t know, after all, they were partnering together.

“I know who that is,” Yoongi scoffed, “I just didn’t expect you guys to be on a first name basis.”

Her brows furrowed trying to figure out Yoongi’s point, “Besides being my boss, Jin and I are very close.”

“So you’re fucking him?” Yoongi asked. The papers on his lap now forgotten on his lap as he leaned back with a raised brow.

After letting her body go into shock over what Yoongi said for a few seconds, she closed her laptop and chewed on the inside of her cheeks. She was no stranger to his bluntness but his audacity was something new.

“First of all, he’s married and second of all, my personal life is none of your business. Now if there’s anything else you need from me let me know otherwise I’m done for the day.” she said between gritted teeth.

The air between them grew heavy and tense. Neither of them wanted to move or say a word. She was not interested in any games he felt like playing and Yoongi was not interested in any small talk.

“I’ll have these scanned for Jin tomorrow. Have a good night.” Yoongi finally said as he got up to leave.

He hoped his scanner would be able to do its job because in the midst of their stare down, Yoongi had crumpled a few of the papers.

“It’s nice seeing you again, Yoongi.” she said although the sentimental words did not match her tone or the resentment in her eyes.

Yoongi didn’t reply as he walked out of her office.

________________________________

Yoongi kept his eyes glued on her and Jin who were sitting on the other side of the conference table chatting. Despite both of them being at the top of the food chain, Jin and Yoongi were polar opposites. Jin was approachable and had a friendly demeanour that people seem to gravitate towards. Yoongi was incapable of engaging in meaningless conversations which is why he made Taehyung the face of their company. Although Jin was nice, he was getting on Yoongi’s nerves. The man had a laugh that echoed through the room and seemed to never run out of things to talk about. As annoying as Yoongi thought Jin was, she seemed to love his presence. The both of them had been joking and giggling about nothing since they sat down.

“You’re fucking staring dude.” Taehyung whispered in Yoongi’s ear.

Realizing that Taehyung was right, Yoongi averted his gaze to his laptop screen which had been untouched for so long that the apple logo was bouncing back and forth. Once everyone that needed to be here had entered the conference room, Taehyung began his performance.

“Thank you everyone for being here!” Taehyung clapped, “we’re so excited to be partnering with all of you and thank you once again for choosing us.”

Yoongi didn’t even attempt to clap along with everyone else. If anything, the irregular rhythm made his head hurt. She stifled a laugh when she looked over at Yoongi who was very obviously still waking up. Business and money he was fluent in but people, people were too complicated for him. It wouldn’t be a far reach to assume that this was probably his third cup of coffee so far.

As the morning meeting went on, it was interesting to see how different the two CEO’s were. Jin enjoyed making jokes when he spoke and tried to make statistics and numbers sound fun while Yoongi spoke in a very matter of fact way and hardly smiled. It was funny watching Taehyung and Jin have a pissing match for the title of ‘Most Entertaining Person In the Room’. By the end of the meeting, no one was having Jin and Taehyung’s jokes anymore as everyone’s workload had tripled.

“Lets,” Yoongi suddenly called out, all eyes were on the guy that only said one sentence since the meeting started, “end. I think we all have a good idea of what to do. Have a great day everyone.”

This would be the first thing Yoongi has said so far that she agreed with. She quickly delegated tasks between the members on her team and followed them out of the conference room. She made her way to her office and let out an exasperated sigh at the calendar she hastily created. Every day was booked from start to finish and she would definitely have to be doing overtime starting today.

______________________________

And overtime she did, every night for the past week. With her company being so much smaller than Yoongi’s, she and her members were always the last ones to leave the office. It seemed like the workload was affecting the higher ups too because she hadn’t seen Jin, Taehyung or Yoongi at all. Their doors were always closed or they were in a meeting anytime she needed to speak to one of them. Tonight was no different. The basket of snacks she received had slowly disappeared through the week and as the hours passed, she could no longer ignore her hunger. Considering that she’d be here for a few more hours, a little break wouldn’t hurt. Closing her laptop, she made her way out of her office to the kitchen. She would never get used to how bright and noisy the building still was after hours. This environment was so different from Home. Everyone clocked in at 9 and left exactly at 5 but it seemed like people never left here. As she ventured down the hall, the floor eventually got darker and quieter. The smell of freshly brewed coffee got stronger the closer she was to the kitchen. She wondered who would be drinking coffee at this time and as she rounded the corner, it made sense.

“You’re still here?” Yoongi asked, eyebrows slightly raised.

“I’m surprised you’re still here too.” she replied.

Yoongi gave her a shrug and reverted his attention back to the coffee machine while she scoured the cupboards for whatever she could eat. Yoongi watched as she stood on the toes to peer through all the drawers and felt the corners of his lips turn upwards. He always found everything she did endearing and even after half a year, the sentiment still held true.

“I can order food for you if you want.” Yoongi cleared his throat.

She turned around, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

“It’s on company card.” he continued.

“Wouldn’t that be your money?” she laughed.

Yoongi chuckled and took a seat at the lunch table, pulling out his phone in the process. Without any apps besides what’s used for work, Yoongi quickly downloaded a delivery app. He sucked his teeth when a page requiring him to input his information and credit card popped up.

“I found a granola bar.” she said meekly.

He hadn’t noticed that she was standing beside him peeking at what he was doing on his phone. When they locked eyes, the both of them bursted out into laughter. Perhaps it was how much they had been working which made them a little delirious but this situation was so familiar and amusing. As their laughter died, an awkward silence began to fill the lunch room.

“I’m gonna head back to my office now that I found something to eat.” she waved her granola bar in front of his face.

“Do you want a cup of coffee with that? It should finish brewing soon.” Yoongi quickly said, hoping it didn’t come out too desperate.

She didn’t drink coffee at this time or anytime after noon but there was a bottle of melatonin on her bedside that did the trick whenever she couldn’t sleep.

“Sure,” she smiled, taking a seat across from him, “but just a little.”

The coffee was long forgotten after it had finished brewing. Yoongi listened attentively as she divulged into all the gossip from her personal life and she found her jaw continuously hanging from all the rumours Yoongi confirmed regarding all the celebrities he had worked with. The work piled on their desks seemed to not matter as they took back all the time lost in the six months they were away from each other. It was so easy with Yoongi because he always made her feel so safe and heard. It was so easy to love him.

“Wow, it’s almost nine!” she gasped after seeing the time flash on his phone.

This seemed to surprise Yoongi too. He really did mean to make one cup of coffee and bury his head in all the paperwork on his desk.

“Did you drive?” Yoongi asked.

She shook her head explaining how much easier it was to train than drive where she resided.

“Let me give you a ride home then.” he said, getting up and cocking his head towards the lunchroom door.

She drummed her fingers against her thighs as she tried to make a decision. There was no way she could get her work done at this hour and it would be nice to not take public transit so late at night. She bit the inside of her cheeks knowing that this was a very slippery slope.

“Okay, thank you.” she forced a smile, following him out the kitchen.

The car ride back to her place was quiet. Both of them tried to make small talk before deciding that it was better not to say anything. She sat with her hands in her lap, grasped tightly together. Being so close to him in such a confined space made her stomach flip. She was also too scared to touch anything in case she damaged the interior of his car even just a little bit. How much Yoongi made and how important he was definitely reflected in what he was driving. Leather seats, tinted windows, and butterfly doors. He really did seem to do just fine-even better-without her which was a kick to the gut and a hard pill to swallow.

“That’s me.” she said, pointing to her apartment complex.

Yoongi pulled aside and put his hazards on. Despite arriving at her place, her body didn’t move. She didn’t want to leave just yet.

“I’m um,” Yoongi began to speak, avoiding any eye contact, “I’m sorry for how I acted last week. It was unprofessional and uncalled for.”

“Thanks for the apology,” she smiled, “and for the ride home again.”

He nodded and tried to reciprocate her smile. Yoongi had thought about their reunion many times, playing different scenarios in his head. The one where she ended up working with him and where he was an asshole definitely was not one of the scenarios. Yoongi had all the money he could ever ask for, loyal employees and a nice car but right now in front of her, he felt like an idiot. His daily life consisted of sleepless nights, pointless meetings and going home to an empty penthouse. There was a time when he would obsess over all these useless things he had now but everything he owned was replaceable. By the time he realized that she was the one constant in his life, it was too late.

“It is really nice seeing you again, Yoongi.” she said, once again the sentimental words not reaching her sad eyes.

Whatever happened first was a blur as Yoongi’s fingers were tangled in her hair and her hands desperately grabbed any inch of his skin. Mutters of apologies from Yoongi were swallowed by her as she didn’t want him to pull even a centimetre away from his lips.

“Fuck! I’m sorry!” she gasped, when her heels accidentally scraped against the passenger door.

Yoongi cupped her cheeks and brought their foreheads together as they both tried to catch their breath.

“You could rip this whole thing apart, I don’t fucking care.” Yoongi chuckled.

She hated how she leaned into his touch, wanting more of him. All that work she did in six months, out the window the moment he gave her any time of day. The moment shared between them quickly came to a halt when a car began honking repeatedly from behind. Yoongi rolled his eyes and let his back hit against his chair as he glared at the driver from his side mirror. She hastily grabbed her things and left as quickly as she could to not upset the driver even more. She felt her anxiety rise when Yoongi’s car didn’t drive away, instead the passenger side windows rolled down.

“Goodnight,” Yoongi sighed, “see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi.” she waved and watched his tail lights disappear in the distance.

____________________________________

Yoongi meant to speak to her about what happened that night. He didn’t know if he was going to apologize or if he was going to suggest they get back together, he truly didn’t know what his MO would be but he knew he had to talk to her. That was the plan at least until he got into work the next day. He had a bunch of urgent voicemails to get back to and it seemed like everything down the chain was going wrong. It if wasn’t a manager wanting to break a contract deal then it was another production studio wanting to negotiate a contract that they were happy with just a few days ago. Yoongi had to be in five places at once. The few minutes he did have to himself were filled with thoughts of her and what he was going to do. The clarity hit him when he realized that these issues at work would never go away. He would be needed constantly and being at the very top had a lot of risk involved. The best course of action was to leave that night as it was and relish in the memory of finally holding her and kissing her again for as long as he could. As of right now, he couldn’t offer her anything more than more papers and files to organize.

“Yo Yoongi, conference call in 10 minutes.” Taehyung’s voice appeared.

Yoongi sighed and glared at him. He had told Taehyung many times to knock and not just barge in but that man was as stubborn as they come.

“Whoa,” Taehyung whistled, putting his hands out in front of him, “caught you in a foul mood huh?”

Ignoring Yoongi’s very obvious agitated energy, Taehyung made his way behind Yoongi’s desk. He glanced down at all the files and papers the older one had spread on his desk.

“Did something happen?” Taehyung asked, nodding in the direction of an empty spot on Yoongi’s desk.

Yoongi’s poker face remained as he gathered all the documents he needed for the conference call.

“Like you said, we just signed a multimillion dollar contract. I don’t have time to think of things besides this contract and all the bullshit that’s been going wrong.”

Taehyung leaned against the drawers behind Yoongi’s desk and drummed his fingers against them.

“Remember that one time when we had 24 hours to fix a technical issue or our company was going to lose a bunch of clients?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah,” Yoongi chuckled, “we were so fucked.”

“I went to get drinks and had a very long lunch that day. There was another time when one of our recording studio got broken into and we had a full schedule of recording the next day with some pretty important artists. I also got drinks and had a very long lunch to catch up with an old friend that day. I think I took a nap too.”

“Besides getting fired, what’s your point?” Yoongi snapped, both impressed and annoyed by Taehyung’s almost reckless behaviour.

“We had so many fires to put out but I still made time to live, Yoongi. And fuck it, even if our company fails, we still walk away able to provide for ourselves for a long time.” Taehyung sighed.

Yoongi got up and turned around to meet Taehyung’s eyes.

“We worked too hard and sacrificed too much to just let it fall over some dumb shit you want to waste your time doing.”

“I sacrificed maybe getting arrested for scamming people,” Taehyung scoffed. “you sacrificed your relationship. I didn’t know she was a waste of time.”

Yoongi’s arms fell to his sides as he stared at Taehyung. Little did Taehyung know, Yoongi had taken her picture out of the frame and kept it inside his jacket pocket. The picture frame meant nothing as it laid in his trashcan but he didn’t have the strength to throw her picture away.

“This might be your last chance, Yoongi.” Taehyung said.

“Conference call in 5 minutes.” Yoongi huffed, before walking out of his office.

________________________________

She hadn’t seen Yoongi in almost a week. He left her feeling confused, angry and sad. It was as if they had broken up all over again. If he had just wanted to fuck her, it would’ve been very obvious. But when they kissed, he was just as desperate as her. It was hard knowing someone like the back of your hand and then forced to be total strangers. It was even harder knowing that you were still in love with this stranger.

“Thank you everyone again for being on time. I’ll keep this morning's meeting short and simple so that we can all go back to work.” Taehyung smiled.

He waited until everyone was looking at him before continuing.

“As you can see, Yoongi isn’t here. He won’t be here for the next week either. There are some business matters that he needs to attend to out of town so any inquiries can go through me.”

After that bit of information, she stopped listening and began to draw random shapes in her notebook. Yoongi wouldn’t be here when her company went back to their own building. What was supposed to be a month was short as the merge was successful and being in Yoongi’s building wasn’t necessary anymore. She wanted to see him again but she was not going to initiate their meeting. Yoongi owed her so much and closure was going to be up to him. If she never saw him again, it would be on him. As much as it would hurt, she would eventually learn to put herself back together one more time.

“Hey, woohoo!”

Taehyung snapped his fingers in her face and waved his hands around to get her attention. She straightened her posture and looked around the empty meeting room.

“Oh shit, sorry I zoned out completely.” she groaned, running her hands through her hair.

“It’s all good,” Taehyung laughed, “literally nothing important was mentioned.”

Taehyung watched as she slowly gathered her things. She looked tired and her energy hadn’t been the same for a while.

“Everything alright?” Taehyung asked before she could make it out the door.

“Yeah!” she nodded, feigning a smile.

“He’s going to reach out.” Taehyung nodded.

She looked at Taehyung with curious eyes but didn’t ask what he meant.

“In the meantime,” Taehyung yawned, “you should make a list of things you want him to apologize for when he does.”

She laughed and shook her head which brought a genuine smile to Taehyung’s face.

“See you later Tae.” she waved.

______________________________

Yoongi looked back and forth frantically between his watch and the airplane. He wondered what was taking so long for everyone to board. In the midst of his restlessness, his phone began to ring and he wanted to throw it through the window. In the past 24 hours, he had to meet with three executive producers, convince a client to stay and got word that her company was leaving their building today. Their time zone difference was three hours and if he wanted to talk to her, he should’ve done it yesterday…or two weeks ago.

“What is it, Taehyung?” Yoongi answered.

“I miss you too,” Yoongi could see Taehyug roll his eyes on the other end, “how’s it going?”

Yoongi brought his phone away from his ear and stared at Taehyung’s name flashing on the screen with a baffled expression.

“You’re calling me to ask me how it’s going?” Yoongi hissed.

“You have such a way with words you know?” Taehyung teased.

“Taehyung, I swear to God I am going to-“

“They’re leaving tonight.” Taehyung cut him off.

The airport was bustling with people trying to get home and every ten minutes there was an announcement over the intercom. It was the worst place to think.

“I know,” Yoongi said, “I know.”

“You’re still over there for two more days.” Taehyung continued.

“I’m actually on my way home right now but my fucking plane is delayed.” Yoongi cursed.

“Need me to put on some possible fires for tomorrow?” Taehyung asked.

Yoongi felt his body suddenly relax and a gratefulness for his friend that he should’ve felt for a while now.

“Thank you, Taehyung.” Yoongi sighed before hanging up.

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. His plane was delayed for an hour which means Yoongi had an hour to figure out how to make everything right.

___________________________________________

She looked out the window and tried to burn the view into her brain. She would miss having this space so much. It was nice working in a setting where she saw actual sunlight everyday. Jin promised to buy her a calendar that had a different scenery every month to replace this beautiful view. She walked back to her desk and laughed at the ridiculously large box Taehyung’s team provided for her to pack up her things when all she had was her purse, her laptop and some pens. Despite the last day in Yoongi’s building, she was yet again the last to leave. The emails didn’t stop coming in and her list didn’t grow any smaller with things to do but at least the merge was successful. She decided to leave all her emails for tomorrow and call it a day as the sun had already set. She closed her laptop and looked at all the snack wrappers decorating her desk and floor. As much as she didn’t want to do a deep clean of this office, at least she would get to relish in the view for a little bit more.

She was only five minutes into her clean up duty when the notifications from her email could no longer be ignored. She found herself deep in work, with a pile of wrappers on the corner of her desk. Her office phone began to ring and she decided to ignore it, not wanting to stay longer than she had to. Eventually the ringing stopped, but her personal phone began to vibrate.

“Are you fucking kidding m-“

Her breath caught in her throat when she read the name flashing on her screen. She felt her body begin to slightly tremble and her heart race. With hesitating fingers, she answered the call.

“Not very professional of you to answer personal calls but not work calls.” Yoongi’s monotone voice spoke.

He hadn’t called her in a really long time. Six months to be exact.

“Why are you-um, do you need something?” she stammered, feeling extremely embarrassed afterwards.

“I heard your team is leaving tonight.” Yoongi replied.

“Yeah we are. It’s been nice working here though.” she answered.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Yoongi continued.

A silence passed between them as she tried to figure out what Yoongi wanted and as Yoongi tried to figure out what to say. She figured he was in a car by all the traffic noise she could hear in the background. Whether it was someone driving or him, he was going very fast.

“Did you call me just to say goodbye?” she laughed.

“Actually I called hoping you would stay.”

She steadied her breath as her heart hammered through her ears.

“Yoongi you don’t get to do that.” she whispered.

“I know-“

“You don’t get to decide when you want me and when you don’t. You don’t get to disappear and reappear whenever you want.” she cut him off, feeling her eyes water up.

She heard his car rev followed by honking.

“Isn’t that what you did?” Yoongi scoffed.

She rolled her eyes, the feeling of anger all too familiar.

“Why? Because I left you? Me working here was a coincidence.” she spat.

“Why did you leave?” Yoongi asked, the tone of his voice changing to one with remorse.

She leaned back on her chair and stared blankly at her laptop screen.

“I didn’t want to.” her voice came out quiet.

She had a loud screech from the road and glanced over at the window to locate where the sound came from. She slowly peeled her cell phone away from her ear when a familiar black car pulled into the street in front of the building, the parking careless and unaligned with the curb.

“What the hell…” she whispered to herself.

The person who stepped out of the car seemed like they were in a rush. Their bag was slung over their shoulder as they ran into Yoongi’s building.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.” Yoongi’s voice from the other end brought her attention back to their phone call. He sounded like he was out of breath, “And I’m sorry for being an asshole the entire time you’ve been here.”

She heard an elevator ding from his end.

“I’m sorry for just letting you go. These last six months really sucked and I know I fucked up.” he continued.

The elevator on her floor opened and she heard footsteps coming towards her office. Her cell phone was now laying on her desk and she stood up from her chair, her heart refusing to slow down.

“I’m really sorry.” Yoongi panted as he turned the corner into her office.

His phone was by his side and his eyes wide with desperation. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Yoongi’s usual polished appearance was absent in the presence of his untucked shirt and uncombed hair. He dropped his bag onto the floor beside his feet and slowly approached her. His footsteps were hesitant and his breath labored.

“I left because we couldn’t keep up with each other anymore.” she finally said, stopping Yoongi in his tracks.

Yoongi stood still. He found it hard to catch his breath but not from the running earlier.

“I needed more from you and you needed this.” she said, arms gesturing towards his building.

“But it was for us.” he answered as he clenched and unclenched his fists to release the anxiety building up in his body.

She stared at him with a slight smile on her face while her eyes watered, “I didn’t need any of this Yoongi, I just needed you.”

With a defeated shrug, she leaned against her desk and felt her tears stream down her face. It still hurt like it did six months ago. It took so much strength to leave Yoongi and even more strength to get over him but in the end, she just wasn’t strong enough yet. In a few short strides, Yoongi was by her side holding her in his arms. He gently pushed her head onto his chest where she could hear just how quickly his own heart was beating. Not a word was said between them as they melted into each other's embrace. She allowed her tears to flow onto his shirt and closed her eyes to enjoy as much of him as she could. Yoongi watched her body slightly relax as he stroked her hair, the lump in his throat getting harder to swallow after every sniffle and sigh escaping from her. After a while, he brought a hand under her chin and slowly lifted her head, his heart clenching at her tear stained cheeks.

“I know I got carried away,” he mumbled, remembering all her text messages that he left unanswered and all the dates he forgot, “but you always had me. You still have me. I should’ve-I…I shouldn’t have let you go like that. I’m so, so sorry.”

Hearing his words only made her cry more. She wiggled out of his hold and buried her face back into his chest.

“You really suck.” she mumbled, eliciting a chuckle from Yoongi.

“Can you give me another chance or do I suck too much?” he teased and laughed when he felt her jab his stomach with her fist.

“I’ll do it right this time,” Yoongi continued, “I’ll take more time off and work less and just-“ his breath hitched. His desperation for her and the realization that she could turn him away was too much, “let me make it all right again.”

He felt her untangle herself from his hold before looking up at him.

“Yoongi you’re busier than ever and with this merge I am too.” she sighed, her hands holding onto his.

“Technically you guys work under me now and I am approving of us for a two week vacation break beginning of next month.” Yoongi knew there was a lot at risk on the business side but if Taehyung can get drinks during the middle of the work day and nap, then fuck it.

She watched as his thumbs stroked her hands in his grip and wanted to laugh at just how much control he had over her. She wasn’t strong enough to get over Yoongi but was strong enough to possibly get hurt again.

“Taehyung said I should make a list of apologies you owe me.” she jabbed him again.

“I expect that list on my desk by next week then," he laughed as he cupped her face, bringing her closer to him, "And I’ll make it all up to you.” Yoongi whispered, sealing his promise against her lips.

Authors Note: Hi!!! Sorry I haven't been writing. I am infected with the unmotivated and uninspired bug. And thank you for all the suggestions of writing in a way that is inclusive for everyone. I've just had this one shot in the drafts for like weeks so I didn't change anything. Anyways, thank you for reading and the support!

[iwitch-plus]

Working on myself is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…

Aaaand I’m still working on how to do it, but here’s 3 small steps I’ve taken that have been the most helpful:

I gave up caffeine.

That’s right. I did it. Well….sort of. I gave up sugary energy drinks, coffee, and things like that. I now only drink tea for caffeine, but I generally find myself not needing caffeine at all anymore.

Making tea makes me feel so much more connected to myself and everything around me. I don’t know if it’s some sort of spiritual placebo or what, but whenever I drink tea I just feel so witchy like I actually did something. I have like a ton of different teas to choose from too so it always feels like I’m doing a very small ritual whenever I have to pick a tea for myself. It’s really nice. Also, it doesn’t make me insanely shaky so thats another plus.

I stopped vaping.

Okaaay so I know everyone and their mom wants you to stop vaping but seriously it helped lmao. I didn’t stop vaping entirely (I work a bartending shift on Fridays so like, sometimes I want the nic’) but overall it helped ease my anxiety and shakiness. I don’t know what clicked in my brain, but suddenly the idea of vaping just turned me off so much that I stopped doing it entirely for a while…and then found myself not needing it. That’s not necessarily advice on how to stop vaping, because that absolutely will not work for everyone but somehow it worked for me!

I bought books on topics I’m interested in.

This is a pretty big one, I feel like the art of just sitting down and reading a book has been lost in the modern age…or maybe it’s just that I’ve lost it lol. But book shopping is definitely on my favorite things to do list, and reading books has become a sort of self-care ritual by itself. Technology overtakes my life, and it’s basically never in a productive way so if I can spend even 20 minutes just reading a couple pages from a book, I feel much more connected to myself. The current one I’m reading is World Mythology in Bite-Sized chunks by Mark Daniels. It’s been pretty interesting so far!

Of course, there are still things I want to do that are bigger or different steps than these.

I want to quit drinking entirely, I want to read tarot more (maybe start by just pulling at least one card for myself daily), I want to hang more things up on my walls at home, I want to always uphold a clean environment, I want to sleep earlier so I can wake up earlier, I want to work on my conversation skills since my job deals with clients and I’d like to keep having clients. There are so many things, day by day that I try to work on and I can only do so much but slowly it’s all coming together. Slowly with those 3 things I listed above, I’m becoming a better me.

[graciehart]

tw: suicide/SI

On Friday I turned down a job offer because I knew it wasn’t a good fit (shout out to my dear friend for talking through it with me) and I applied to a few more jobs today but I’m just feeling so defeated.

Most of the jobs I see consider 25+ clients to be full time, and I know that I can’t do 25 sessions a week and still take care of my mental health. But if I’m not full time I don’t get benefits. But even hypothetically, I can’t handle 25 clients a week. That’s 5 sessions a day for 5 days a week and when I have long work days, my suicidal ideation gets worse because I go from 0 to 60 so fast. I think about how I don’t want to go to work the next day and it immediately turns into I want to die because I don’t want to work. And the idea of five days of five clients with only two days off (plus a commute) sounds absolutely exhausting.

I have so much self-doubt from my last job and I’m scared I won’t be able to work through it. I’m scared I made a huge mistake or I’m not good at what I do. I feel like I’m not cut out for life because something that literally everyone has to do—work—makes me want to die. Normal things (relationships of any kind) are so overwhelming for me. I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.

On the hard days, I think the worst part is that I don’t even remember what it’s like not to feel this way. I’ve been suicidal since I was 12. More than half my life. Part of my job is holding hope for others that things can change and things can get better, and I do hold that hope for them. But for me it feels hopeless. I can’t imagine this ever going away. And I’m just so tired. It’s been an awful week—I’ve spent most days sleeping because when the depression is worse, I sleep. It’s as close as I can get to not existing. My apartment is a mess and I hate it but the idea of cleaning also makes me want to die because I just don’t want to do it. I hate how my body has changed since Covid and feel guilty for feeling that way. I know that how deeply I feel things has been so important for connecting with my favorite people, but it’s absolutely exhausting feeling like I have no control and have no choice but to feel deeply.

I don’t know. It’s lonely and I just wish I wasn’t here. I wish I had been enough.

[berkmansimagines]

High Infidelity

A/N: Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? 🩵

Summary: Barry does a job behind your back.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!wife reader

It was supposed to be a simple job for Barry. He was hired by a woman to kill her husband. She wants his life insurance money so she can rebuild her life with some guy she’s been having an affair with. Fuches put the whole thing together. Barry had no idea that it would become so complicated, so quickly… 

Shortly after Barry found out about the job, you called him in distress. You sounded upset and frustrated. Your handler was trying to get you to do a job that you didn’t want to do. The client, Mark, wanted to hire you to take out his wife so he could avoid a costly divorce and marry his current mistress without judgment. The reason you didn’t want to do the job is because you used to know Mark personally. He's one of your ex flings.

It was nothing serious. You two hooked up for a couple of weeks before it fizzled out. Truth be told, you hardly remember him. The only significant thing about Mark is that he was your last casual hookup before you met Barry.

You never told Mark what you really did for work. He didn’t know he was hiring you when he connected with your handler, Diane. And you didn’t realize that the client was your ex until you and Diane met up with him in person. Mark was stunned when he first saw you but once the shock faded, he kept trying to flirt with you. You felt embarrassed and uncomfortable but did your best to hide it. You don’t want to see any of your past hookups ever again, especially in this type of situation. The whole thing just felt wrong.

Before you had a chance to voice your concerns, Diane told Mark that you would do the job. You were uneasy after you left the meeting. You really don’t want to do this hit because of your past relationship with Mark. Having any sort of connection with a client or target is too risky. 

You called Barry during your drive home. You needed to vent and figure out your next move. While talking, Barry offhandedly mentioned the job Fuches wanted him to do. You both quickly discovered that your clients are husband and wife and you are being paid to kill the other spouse. Turns out that Mark and his wife are both cheaters and overall shitty people. It’s the type of twist you only thought happened in movies or TV shows. 

After the stunning realization, you predicted that the situation was going to get messy and weird. You and Barry have been playing it safe lately, being more careful about what hits you’re taking. You keep your guard up because you don't know who you can trust. 

You can’t kill your ex’s wife and your husband can’t kill your ex. It’s just not a good look. You decided to stay out of it and asked Barry to do the same. He reluctantly agreed.

“It’s way too risky babe…”

Your words keep echoing in the back of Barry’s head while he’s on his way to meet Fuches at a driving range. When Barry arrives, he slinks off to the side as Fuches practices his golf swing. Barry then tells his handler about his phone call with you and that he won’t be able to do the hit anymore. Fuches shrugs Barry off.

“I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you want to ice your wife’s ex boyfriend?”

“It’s too risky,” Barry replies

“Are those your words or hers?” Fuches raises his eyebrows.

Barry looks down at his feet. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to. Fuches already knows the answer.  

Fuches sighs, nodding his head. He’s quiet for a moment, choosing his next words very carefully. And then-

“Do you think it’s possible… no,” Fuches fake gasps, stopping himself from finishing the sentence.

Barry scrunches his forehead. 

“What?” Barry asks quietly.

Fuches takes a deep breath, pretending to be concerned.

“Well I was going to say, do you think it’s possible she still has feelings for Mark?” Fuches wonders aloud, “I mean, what other reason would she ask you not to kill him? Why is she protecting him?”

Fuches swings his golf club and hits the ball, smirking to himself. Barry clenches his jaw and tightens his hands into fists. He’s quietly seething. Fuches always knows how to push Barry’s buttons. He brought that up because he knew it would drive Barry over the edge. And it worked.

Next thing Barry knows, he’s staked out down the street from Mark’s house. Barry is waiting for Mark to go outside before he moves in for the kill. He did not plan ahead for this. If he had, he would’ve brought a book or something to pass the time. He’s just sitting in his car, bored out of his mind and monitoring the street when he notices a figure suddenly emerge from around the corner. Barry doesn’t think much of it until the figure gets closer to Mark’s house. As they walk under a street light, Barry finally sees who it is and his heart sinks to his stomach.

It’s you. 

What the fuck is she doing here? 

Barry doesn’t know what to do. His mind is racing. 

What if Fuches was right? What if you still have feelings for Mark? What if something is going on between you two?

You approach Mark’s house but stop yourself from knocking on the door. You stay in the driveway, leaning against a parked car. After a beat, Mark opens the door and steps out of his house. His face perks up when he sees you. This is an unexpected visit. Barry rolls down his window so he can listen in on the conversation.

“Well isn’t this a nice surprise,” Mark smirks as he walks towards you. He’s trying to be flirty but you have no time for his bullshit. 

You roll your eyes and cross your arms against your chest. You’d rather be anywhere else right now. The only reason you’re here is because your handler was pissed when you told her that you refused to take the job. Now she’s making you break the news to Mark. You tried calling him several times but it always went straight to voicemail. You don’t trust Mark well enough to send him a text or leave a voicemail that could incriminate you, so you need to tell him in person.

“It wouldn’t have been such a surprise if you answered one of my calls,” you grumble, then cut right to the chase, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not doing that job for you.”

Mark’s face drops. He goes from flirty to furious in an instant. 

“Why the fuck not, Y/N?” he questions you.

“It’s too risky with our past connection,” you try.

Mark shakes his head. He’s not used to people saying no to him.

“You need to find someone else. Or better yet, just get a divorce. That’s probably the easiest option for everyone,” you sigh.

Barry watches you turn to walk away from Mark. You don’t still have feelings for him. Fuches was full of shit. He only said that to get under Barry’s skin. Barry feels like an idiot for ever doubting you. 

“I shouldn’t be here…” Barry mutters to himself.

Barry told you that he wouldn’t kill Mark and he wants to keep his word. He thinks about leaving until-

Mark abruptly grabs your wrist and forcefully pulls you back toward him.

“Hey! Don’t walk away from me,” Mark orders.

Barry’s eyes widen when he sees Mark grab you. Any hesitation Barry had about killing Mark has passed. Mark sealed his fate the moment he put his hands on you. Your husband impulsively reaches for his gun. He’s about to get out of the car to help you when he sees you roughly shove Mark away. 

"Are you serious? You know what I do for a living! Do you really want to try that? How do you think it would end for you?" you say through gritted teeth. Mark puts his hands up in defense.

Barry can’t help but smile to himself. My wife’s a fucking badass! 

“You were supposed to help me,” Mark complains.

“Trust me, I’ve helped you more in the past couple of hours than you will ever know,” you reply back coolly.

You walk away. 

“Thanks for nothing, you fucking bitch!” Mark shouts down the street at you.

You flip Mark off as you keep walking. Barry keeps his eyes on you and Mark, making sure Mark doesn’t try grabbing you again and that you get out of there safely. Barry wants to wait until you’re gone before he goes after Mark.

Then Barry sees Mark get into his car and fasten his seatbelt. He’s about to drive away. If Barry wants to kill Mark he can’t wait any longer. He needs to make his move now… 

Meanwhile, you’re almost back to your car. You just turn the corner when -

POP, POP

You’re well trained enough to know a silenced gunshot when you hear one. You stop walking and immediately do a double take. As you turn back around the corner, you see Mark’s dead body slumped over in the front seat and a figure walking away from Mark’s car. You could recognize that silhouette anywhere. That’s your husband. 

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" you shrug loud enough for Barry to hear. 

You can’t believe Barry lied to you. He told you that he wouldn’t kill Mark and he did it anyway. Barry lies to everyone else except you, or so you thought…

Barry's entire body tenses up when he hears your voice. He turns his head and locks eyes with you. You look pissed. Barry quickly shakes his head. Not here. You two can talk about this later. He turns back and continues walking away from the scene.

“Fuck!” he curses to himself.

[findingmypeace]

Are you still friendly with your coworkers? It sounded like they were a source of support & fun at one point. You seemed to connect with one of them in particular. The last time you mentioned her you had been worried she was mad at you but talked things out & they were fine. I haven’t heard you mention her lately, coworkers alone can’t solve every work issue but they certainly can help you get through the day & help you feel connected to your job, so sorry if that isn’t the case anymore

Things with my coworkers have changed a lot. RY is the one that I connected with the most. RY and I are still very good friends. I was worried for a little while. It wasn’t so much as mad at me (although at one point I did worry about it). I was just afraid that we were drifting apart and our close friendship was over. But the past month has shown me the opposite which I will write about at another time. She is such amazing friend.

As far as my other coworkers/friends the dynamic has changed SO much. I think a lot of it is a result of the “clinical team” changing so much and because I think my struggles made them feel uncomfortable. I left for my leave and then RY resigned two weeks into my leave. A short while later my company hired another mental health clinician (who is now my supervisor) and finally my company hired someone to be the clinical director (who resigned at the end of January). And now, just last week, we had a new BCBA start. With ALL of these changes and the fact that I think I made the other two people in our “group” feel uncomfortable things are now very different. We don’t really talk and if we do it’s mostly about our clients. I’m pretty sad about it. We had so much fun together. I’m just very, very grateful RY and are so close. She visited me in residential and it was such a profound experience. I think I will always question if someone truly cares about me and that’s related to my own insecurities. RY and LS are probably the people in my life who have most sincerely shown me that they don’t hate me and that they care. That means so much to me.

[blue-corvid]

Tumblr Live Hot(?) Takes

The thing that really kills me about Tumblr Live is honestly that it could have been fine -- useful even!

I already follow streamers on Tumblr! I follow artists, comedians, video game let's-players, tabletop gaming nerds, all of whom stream somewhere that isn't Tumblr! If I could watch them stream on Tumblr, I would absolutely do that!

But Tumblr. My beloved. You fucked it up so bad. You immediately made it as sketchy and annoying as possible, and now... by the point that “everybody hates it” is the thing most people know about it, i can’t imagine it would be easy to save.

So this is my open letter to Tumblr (I don't know who to direct it at -- @staff? I hope that's okay) -- here’s where I think you went wrong, and how you could fix it (if it is, in fact, fixable.)

Tumblr Live appeared silently with no warning.

When it first showed up, the only thing I heard about it was “what the fuck is this?” I Googled it and found basically nothing, and then when I looked it up in Tumblr’s support pages, it wasn’t super clear what Tumblr Live was or what it was for. Streaming platform was only my best guess.

Most of the article was about how you could make money off it. Tumblr, I can’t make money off of it if I don’t know what it is, how to use it, or how to explain it to anyone.

This isn't the case anymore, but it was a serious problem early on.

(Seemingly) no effort to make it look appealing or useful.

It looks and acts like an ad. It’s positioned like an ad at the top of the dashboard. Like an ad, it doesn’t have any connection to what I do or care about on Tumblr.

It looks to be a bunch of still shots from the live chats that it’s promoting and this is just such an unbelievably bad idea.

See, here's the thing: Tumblr has a running problem with porn bots, most of which can be quickly identified by their avatars, which are almost always (stolen) pictures of attractive women, often in revealing clothing.

Guess what every single image I can see on the Tumblr Live ad banner is? Did you guess pictures of attractive women, often in revealing clothing? See the problem? Regardless of my feelings on or desire to interact with cam girls (which are, for the record: I’m not interested personally but I wish you good vibes and good luck and respectful clients), my gut reaction upon seeing the Tumblr Live banner is, “That looks like a bunch of porn bots.”

When you add this to how hard it was to find information about Tumblr Live, how poorly its terms of service were explained, and the state of the internet right now (with every social media site gunning to get its teeth into its uses' throats to vampire as much sensitive personal data from them as possible), Tumblr Live looks dangerous.

When Tumblr users got annoyed with it, there was (seemingly) no effort to fix any of the problems.

Instead of explaining clearly what Live is and how it works and making it inherently less intrusive, Tumblr made excuses about how they had to try to make it profitable and doubled down on making it as annoying as possible with its stupid “snooze” feature.

Every time this stupid porn-bot-looking ad banner popped up on someone’s dash after a week of being lulled into a false sense of security, they hated it a little more.

Tumblr basically hand-crafted a sitewide campaign to yell about how bad this feature is once a week.

How could it have been better?

It’s all well and good to sit here and pass judgement, but was it not just doomed from the start? Could Tumblr really have done any better?

Yes. Absolutely yes.

Here’s how you fix Tumblr Live:

Get rid of the ad-banner-style preview placement.

Instead, mimic what people are doing for their Twitch streams already. Send out a notification on my dashboard when a blog I follow goes live. Respect the rules for normal Tumblr posts when it comes to visibility: let people blaze and reblog them and don’t push them out to people who wouldn’t normally see posts from that blog except according to users’ dashboard preferences.

For persistent notifications (since streams aren’t one-and-done like posts), put a list of blogs I follow that are currently live in the sidebar.

Because these features are no longer intrusive, you no longer need an option in the settings to toggle them off, and people who initially wrote off Live can explore it if it ever becomes valuable to them instead of making it disappear forever.

Get the stream previews off users' screens as soon as humanly possible.

Tumblr has a porn bot problem. Because people's (especially women's and especially cam girls') pictures get scraped for porn bot avatars, Tumblr users are gonna associate pictures of real live non-celebrity people (especially women) with internet scams. Forget this "keep it clean" shit -- whether it looks "clean" matters less than whether it looks like someone wants to steal my credit card information. (And on the other side of that, please understand that sex worker positivity doesn't help sex workers if a feature they use gets shut down because your average Tumblr user thinks it looks so sketchy that they won't touch it with a ten-foot pole.)

Replace the stream preview with the streamer's avatar and the stream title and/or a streamer-selected cover image.

Get help from actual streamers.

Go find Tumblr users who regularly make posts announcing Twitch streams and introduce them to Tumblr Live. For people who already use Tumblr, already stream stuff, and already use Tumblr to tell their audience that they're streaming, having a streaming platform attached to Tumblr could be a real convenience. If you have premium streaming features, find some popular streamers who use Tumblr and give them free access to those features for a while. Even better, maybe ask them for feedback on those features.

Most importantly, get people who stream a variety of different things. Even if Tumblr users don't hate Tumblr Live, if they're under the impression that it's only for one thing and that one thing is something they're not into, they're never gonna use it.

...That's it, that's all I've got. I know this post is a monster, but if anyone reads it: thanks. Good luck in to all in this new era of Tumblr.

[moonpiemoonshine]

The nurse of my dreams pt.3

(An Ivan Drago fanfic)

Zelia sits in front of her TV watching Ivan and Rocky swap blows left and right. Both boxers bloody and bruised. Zelia having mixed feelings on who to cheer for, but when she sees Ivan lose the fight she doesn’t know how to feel. She’s glad that Rocky won since he was working hard but she cared for Ivan and hated to see him lose. After the fight was fully over she called her boss stating she wasn’t gonna be taking the job, she’s gonna continue her “vacation” with nothing to worry about. Since the fight was over her boss allowed it. Zelia gave herself a few days to relax and pack.

When she finally arrived in Russia she stayed at the same hotel the last time she was there. She kept her ears sharp in the news to hear anything for Ivan’s whereabouts. She goes to the hotel Ivan was staying at but the front desk refused to give out information on the man. Growing desperate she offered money for the information but the people at the desk just yelled at her to leave. Zelia didn’t know what to do now.

She feels so lost when she goes around the town hoping maybe just running into him or hearing anything about him. She goes to the ice rink every day hoping to see him head to the gym. She even asked the gym staff if they knew anything but they too didn’t spill anything about it. Zelia constantly calls her Russian friends asking if they have any connections, but they don’t know how to help her. Zelia stayed glued to her tv when she wasn’t out looking for Ivan. She watched and prayed the news said a single thing about where Ivan was at.

Zelia stayed in Russia for two weeks constantly thinking of Ivan and ways to find him but one day she wakes up to find a letter that was pushed under her hotel door. The address was from a official sports building in Russia and Zelia was excited, hoping it was from Ivan. Sadly when she read the letter her joy was turned into fear. It was from the elite in Russia threatening her life if she kept looking for Ivan. They had thought that she was trying to take him back to America to be a boxer in America and they won’t allow that.

Fear arose in Zelia, she felt unsafe and watched thinking her death would happen at any second. She packed up her things and left. She kept the letter hoping to use it to maybe send letters to it hoping they sent them to Ivan. She was back home and felt sick to her stomach. She had thought it was from the guttural fear of her life being threatened, but low and behold she had found out she was pregnant.

Her and Ivan had slept together many times and they had slept together the last night they got together. She hadn’t planned on this and this also meant she couldn’t go to Russia for a while. So she dedicated herself to writing letters to Ivan once a month, recapping her life for him.

Zelia kept working but not very hard, only working at her desk and not going out and watching her clients anymore. She had told Rocky of her pregnancy but not of who the father was but Rocky did not judge. Once Zelia had given birth to her daughter, she had named her Ivanni Hamlie. Zelia took and sent many pictures of his daughter to Ivan but she never got a single letter back. Every time the phone rang she hoped it was Ivan, and if a car pulled into her driveway a small piece of her prayed it was Ivan finally showing up. Zelia did plan to tell her daughter of who her father was but they’d cross that bridge when they’d get there.

30 years later….

Zelia had raised Ivanni alone. She still sent letters to Ivan but only every three months. She focused her time on her daughter. Ivanni had been an ices skater for a while. She skated throughout high school and through her early adult life. Sadly Ivanni had gotten into street fights with her fellow competitors and she had gotten into boxing. Have Ivanni dropped ice skating all together, turning it into a hobby more than a profession. Ivanni had known who her father was for a few years and had accepted it and only viewed him as a father when she’s in the ring, and not at home.

Ivanni liked to shadow box Ivan’s matches, working and training herself half to death to try to live up to his strength. She knew how upset her mother was over the loss of her lover. The frustration she felt not knowing how to find the man. Ivanni had her mother as her permanent athletic doctor and her mother overviewed all her daughters training and sadly had taken Ivanni to the hospital multiple times for over exhaustion. The mother and daughter were openly friends with Rocky and his new predecessor Adonis Creed. Ivanni planned to be the female lightweight champion and she was getting closer and closer every fight she got.

One night while eating dinner the mother and daughter watching the TV and Zelia almost spits out her food when she hears the name Drago. She sees the news story of Ivan Dragos son Viktor Drago challenging Adonis creed. Zelia doesn’t know how to feel, all that happens is tears falling from her eyes but when she sees her daughter she quickly wipes away her tears and makes a rushed decision.

“I’m not even gonna bother with it” she grumbled and heads to the kitchen. Harshly dropping her plate into the kitchen and sobs escapes her lips. She is so confused on how to feel, her body physically shaking in frustration.

Ivanni goes down into her training area in the basement. She stayed down there for hours and just exerted her frustration onto the punching bag. She hated knowing how upset this made her mother, she wished Ivan just never showed back up. Her mother was so close to moving on but no, he just has to come back and not even for her!

Zelia decided to go and visit Rocky the next day and wanted to get her mind of Ivan. She made Rocky promise not to talk about the match the whole day. Her, Rocky, Adonis, his girlfriend and Ivanni went out to a big carnival to get the stress off. Ivanni and Adonis and his girl all enjoyed their time together. They rode all the rides and were having small competitions together on who can last the longest without getting sick. Rocky and Zelia played some of the carnival games having fun and trying to see who could get the biggest prize. The night was one to remember, just a easy breezy day to jus let lose and have fun. The group took a big group photo together, Rocky and Zelia took a picture together, Zelia and Ivanni took one, Rocky and Adonis. The group took many pictures together, showing off the prizes they’d won and food they’d yet to finish. Rocky had bought lots of copies of the pictures and that night he hung them up at his restaurant. Rocky wasn’t prepared for the next night to see Ivan at his restaurant staring at the pictures, fixating on Zelia.

Rocky and Ivan talked about the match and Rocky wasn’t having any interest with it. Ivan debated asking Rocky about Zelia but decided against it. He had gotten her address from her work and he planned to pay her a visit. So after meeting with Rocky he headed over to Zelia’s home. He was sorta surprised on how big her house was, he knew it was big but not that big. Nervously he rung the door bell and we awkwardly waited. It took a while but the door finally opened but it wasn’t Zelia, it was Ivanni. She was sweaty, only jsut finishing training when she opened the door. She was shocked to see Ivan but she played it cool and uncaring. Acting like she didn’t know who he was.

“Umm, my mom isn’t home right now. She’s out for work. Come back later” she stated in a fake confused tone.

“Oh, can you make sure she knows I came” Ivan asked, his Russian accent lighter now and all Ivanni did was nod and she quickly closed the door. She turned off the entrance lights hoping he gets the message to leave.

Ivan was stuck thinking about Ivanni. He didn’t know how to feel that the one woman he cared for never came back for him and then had a child with someone else. Her blonde hair and blue eyes scary looking to him. He looked up at the cracked ceiling of his motel room. The light snores of his son sleeping on the floor reeling the Russian back into reality.

“Who was at the door?”Zelia asked when Ivanni arrived at her door. Zelia kept her eyes glued to her paperwork on her desk.

“Ivan Drago” Ivanni deadpanned and Zelia snapped her head in panic towards her daughter.

“He’s not downstairs is he!?” She asked in worry.

“No, I told him you were busy and had him leave” a sigh of relief left Zelia and she put her head down on her desk.

“Thank you” she said and her daughter came up behind her and rubbed her back in reassurance.

Rocky had let Zelia know that he wasn’t gonna be at Adonis’s fight. His guilt and fear from his and Apollos fight scared him and he doesn’t wanna relive it. Zelia reassured and comforted Rocky about it and told him how his response to this whole ordeal was normal. She promised to watch the match on TV with him to help him through the match. Rocky appreciates the offer but he stated he doesn’t even think he’ll watch the match, and Zelia understands.

When the night of Adonis and Viktors match happened, Zelia was busy at Ivanni’s match. Ivanni was having a small bit of trouble but won due to Knockout and Zelia was so proud of her daughter. While her daughter was getting washed up she had found out the news of Adonis losing the fight and cracking his ribs. So when her and Ivanni get home they send Adonis and his new wife a card wishing the fighter well.

A few nights after Adonis and Viktors fight, Ivanni was down training and Zelia was cooking dinner. She was thinking about Zelia’s next fight knowing it was a big match. If she were to beat this next woman, Ivanni would be heading off to challenge the lightweight champion. The sound of the doorbell ringing cut Zelia from her thoughts and she wiped her hands off and went to the door. She expected it to be Rocky wanting to talk about the match, but her core shook when she saw Ivan at her door step.

“Ivan. What are you doing here?” She asked flustered and nervous to be facing him.

“To see you” he stated, Zelia shocked to hear his voice once again, his accent had dwindled but his English was better, but his response kinda pissed her off.

“Don’t you have a victory to celebrate or something, I’m super busy” she said looking away from the man not knowing what to say.

“I just wanna know something, why didn’t you come back?” He asked in a desperate but hurt tone.

“What are you talking about!? I did! I didn’t know how to find you. I looked and looked but eventually my LIFE was threatened for looking for you” she lets out letting tears swell in her eyes. Ivan clearly taken aback by her statement. For years he had thought she’d abandoned him and never tried.

“Who you talking to mom?” Ivanni asked heading up the stairs and Zelia quickly pushed Ivan back and stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

“You have a daughter” Ivan stated in a accusing tone and this made Zelia a little offended.

“Yea, and you have a son” she replied in a bitter tone.

“How old is she?” He asked wanting to lighten the mood, at this point Zelia had noticed Viktor was sitting in the car in the driveway and she finally looked at Ivan.

“29” she stated shortly and this snapped something in Ivan.

“You went with different guy right after me! How could you!?” Ivan accused and this made Zelia wanna punch him.

“You can’t even talk! You have a son and I know he isn’t mine! And don’t you dare get mad at me, I wouldn’t do that to you! That is your daughter in there!” Zelia shouted pointing at the door and Ivan’s face dropped.

“Wait, you’re being serious right?” Ivan questioned in a soft and scared tone. He wouldn’t even imagine having a daughter, and the thought of his son having a sibling made his heart soften.

“Yes! Now leave, I can’t spend more time worrying about you. I’ve done enough of that for thirty years” she let out an exasperated sigh and opened the door and went to shut it behind her but let out “goodnight Ivan” before she fully shut the door.

She stormed up the steps and didn’t even notice Ivanni at the bottom of the steps. Once Ivanni heard the door of her moms office slam she ran out the door and stopped Ivan before pulling out of the drive way. He rolled down his window and anxiously looked at Ivanni.

“Hey” she spoke to him in Russian and this landed a slightly shocked brow from both Ivan and Viktor “I know she seemed really upset but I know she’ll warm back up if you visit her more, so you should come to dinner tomorrow at 6” she asked and Ivan nodded and that’s all Ivanni needed and she waved him goodbye before running back into the house. She knew it was wrong to set up a dinner party without her mom knowing, and with a man she most definitely did not want to see at the moment, but Ivanni doesn’t want this to eat her up inside so she wants this whole situation fixed already.

(Stay tuned for part 4 😌)

[nathanxcline]

@renanxcarvalho

Nathan must have known EXACTLY what that flex would do to Renan because now the damn client stood there trying hard to hide the smirk that was growing at the sight of the others muscles before him.  He took in a breath, holding it for a moment, slowly letting it out as his eyes tried desperately to focus back on his, but damn how could he not sneak a peak of those muscles that were put on quick display for him?  He let out an appreciative hum, “i’ll have to be the judge of that one.  Use them enough and they start losing their magic, so who’s to say you haven’t lost some of your touch?”  He asked, challenging the other though he knew he would be proven wrong ten times over (and he was entirely alright with that).  “Now that you’re around though, I can admit that my time here just got a bit more exciting.”  He’d be stupid to not call upon this mans services, and he didn’t just mean for rub downs and sore muscles.  He wanted EVERYTHING he could get from the other because after so many times having to hide a damn boner after he walked out of the office after a session when his hands were working against his skin?  He was more than going to make up for all those times that he had to take care of himself back home afterwards. 

“I’m sure once the word gets out about just how good those hands of yours are you’ll hardly have free blocks in your schedule, so I guess i’ll just have to call and make sure i’m penciled in here and there.”  He wouldn’t blame the clients for jumping at the opportunity to have Nathan’s hands all over them, but he just hoped that he too could get in on the action eventually.  He looked to what the other was holding and nodded, “yeah, we definitely don’t need that abomination tagging along,” not that the uniform would look bad once it was on him, but Renan definitely preferred what he was already wearing tonight.  “Lead the way, handsome, but just one more thing-” he closed the distance between them, his hand coming to rest on the others chest as he looked to his lips, slowly bringing them together with his own because the damn client couldn’t stand having to wait any longer for a kiss.  It was a slow kiss, one that left him already wanting more, and yet he was at least satisfied that he’d gotten a small piece of what he wanted all those times he went to his appointments.  “Let’s go, love, before I get anymore adventurous.”

Renan was very, very good at stroking his ego and he couldn't complain. He hadn't even started work yet and already all this praise. It was enough to make any boy blush. "I assure you that the more I use my hands, the more magical they become." Nathan winked, getting settled into his flirty side the longer Renan looked at him like that. There was very clearly some unspoken feelings they never got around to addressing when they worked together the first time. Nathan absoultely had to take a break after their appointments to cool down. The surfer just did things to him that he tried to hide because he was supposed to be a professional. And when clients wanted a little more from him, they were usually pretty forward about it. Renan, for all his charm and beauty, had been just as professional during their appointments. Which led to a total stalemate that no longer existed in this setting. In the Haus, this kind of thing was completely fair game. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to open up time whenever you want to come by."

Nathan chuckled at the comment about his uniform. It was a pretty standard masseuse uniform, not the sexiest thing, other than the fact he was required to wear a jock strap with it. "Awesome. I'll just drop it really quick..." Before he could finish his thought, Renan leaned into him and kissed him. Nathan was a little surprised, but that didn't stop him naturally pressing back into it. His own hand found Renan's waist for the moment their lips were connected, slow and sensual. It made every nerve in his body stand to attention. "You know what..." Nathan stepped back, pushed the massage room door open, and tossed his uniform on the counter. "I'll just come back for it in the morning." He said as he closed the door again. No reason to waste time going back to the staff rooms. Renan's eagerness was absolutely infectious. "Now you lead the way and I'll follow wherever you go. Adventurous or not."

[maybebecomingms]

a quiet contempt

I’ve been at the same job for nearly 11 years and have become close to a lot of the people I work with - both at my job and others at partnering organizations outside of my office.

One of my clients lives in a “family foster care” setting, meaning she and her primary support person share a home and live as a family. I connected with her provider right away and we’ve shared many personal e-mails over the years in addition to keeping track to best support our mutual person. The provider knows about my family and of significant events in my life, and I know about hers. She keeps a blog, too; it’s far more gracious and kind than mine is, but she inspired me to write my own. Sometimes I think of inviting her here, but I worry mine is far too cynical and snarky for her tastes.

We all had a routine meeting this past week and I was kind of dreading it. This person is deeply faithful and she knew about my wedding in great detail; she is actually the one who suggested what ended up being my honeymoon destination. I hadn’t told her I'd gotten divorced, and I didn’t want to. 

She arrived about 20 minutes early and we got caught up on happenings a bit. She asked me how my mom is, after a major health scare close to a year ago. I told her I moved and we talked about the changes associated with that. I didn’t mention my ex-husband at all, but I knew she knew. I could feel her carefully looking at my ring-less finger for clues.

“How’s your dog?” She asked. “Do you still have him?” This was the perfect in. Well played.

“Well, I got divorced,” I said. “The dog is still alive, but the dog is his. So I don’t see him anymore.”

“Oh; I’m sorry. I experienced a sudden divorce once, and it was very hard,” she started to say. I informed her that I initiated said divorce: “I was treated badly for a very long time and I finally got out.”

And then I waited for the other shoe to drop.

It didn’t.

“Oh! Well then I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. I’ve seen with a lot of couples where one has what I call a quiet contempt for the other.”

“YES!” I said. “It was exactly like that.”

Absolutely no one has, upon finding out what I went through, told me I should have stuck it out and tried harder. Now that I think about it, nobody has tried to tell me that before they knew about the abuse and mindfuckery, either.

Almost like all this pressure came from within the relationship and within myself, or something.

[7slogames]

Why SEO Might Be Dead by 2024: Navigating the New Digital Landscape

The Evolution of SEO: From Keywords to Intent

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane. I remember when SEO was a simple game: stuff as many keywords as you could into your content, and voilà, you’d rank! Back then, I would write articles with the keyword "goldfish" repeated so many times that it almost felt like poetry. Somewhere in that messy keyword symphony, I thought I was creating valuable content. However, the world of SEO has changed dramatically, morphing into a landscape where understanding user intent is no longer just a luxury—it’s a necessity.

In the early days, Google's algorithms were primarily driven by keyword frequency. It’s fascinating to realize how far we've come. Today, when we search for "best pet care tips," Google isn’t just looking for pages saturated with keywords. Instead, it’s working tirelessly to interpret what we really want: perhaps actionable tips on pet health or even DIY dog training strategies. This shift to semantic search means that we marketers must work harder; we have to put ourselves in our audience's shoes and understand their motivations.

The changes I've witnessed really stem from our increasing collective understanding of user intent versus the rigid structures of keyword optimization. When I first delved deep into SEO, I embraced the teachings of various communities, including Income School, which opened my eyes to how Google evolved its mission to keep users on the Search Engine Results Page (SERP). It’s not just about directing traffic anymore; it’s about creating a satisfying user experience. Google sends back direct answers and even indulges a user’s curiosity with featured snippets. Honestly, I found myself both fascinated and slightly intimidated by this shift.

And here’s a turn of events worth mentioning: Artificial Intelligence is knocking on our SEO doors, and it comes with both excitement and trepidation. Many believe that AI will revolutionize content creation, leading to an avalanche of optimized articles hitting the web daily. However, I think many marketers may be missing the larger picture. As more AI tools, like ChatGPT and Gemini, start to offer direct answers right on the SERP, the old dynamic between Google and content creators may begin to erode. Instead of a symbiotic relationship, it feels increasingly like Google is becoming self-sufficient, making it harder for us to compete. I've seen the chatter in communities like Reddit’s r/SEO, and frustrations are palpable. Everyone seems to share this underlying anxiety about securing traffic.

What does this mean for businesses and creators? First off, it’s time to take control of our audience rather than depending solely on Google. The web has evolved into a multi-faceted marketplace, and we must diversify. I’ve learned to cultivate my audience through myriad platforms: from engaging video content on YouTube to the spoken word on podcasts, and yes, even those cherished social media connections. Each avenue holds potential, and I’ve found that relying on a single source can be a slippery slope.

Next, it’s clear that businesses must embrace outbound marketing alongside traditional inbound methods. This isn’t to abandon our SEO roots—far from it. But a balanced approach can ensure that our messages reach potential customers who might otherwise fall through the cracks. Paid advertisements and direct outreach are becoming invaluable tools in our marketing arsenal.

I can’t stress enough the importance of variety. Think of your marketing efforts like a buffet—don’t just serve your guests one dish. Spread your presence across different channels because no one wants to find themselves at the mercy of a single platform, uncertain about what tomorrow might bring. Additionally, nurturing direct relationships with customers is paramount. Collecting email addresses and building that all-important client database is your ticket to direct communication without needing third-party platforms to play intermediary.

As I conclude, I want to encourage all of you to reflect on these insights. The world of SEO is transforming, and while the ride might feel daunting, it’s also a chance for us to innovate and thrive. I invite those interested in deeper discussions about strategy and online presence to join my email newsletter. It’s a space to share experiences, ideas, and insights—because together, we can navigate the intricate SEO landscape.

"SEO is not just about keywords anymore; it’s about understanding your audience." - Anonymous SEO Expert

This part of our journey in the ever-evolving world of SEO is just the beginning. Let’s explore together how we can adapt and flourish in this new environment—after all, Uncle Mike is here for all of you!

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Client Recap

The two-hour client appointment was this morning. Before I booked the hotel early this morning, I wanted to make sure I completely screened him (I did a minimal amount of screening last night because I could tell he was straight).

But when I looked up his profile on one of the main reporting websites, I saw a few very alarming client reviews. But the reviews didn’t look right: I could tell they were probably written by a disgruntled provider.

I did some more digging and reached out to one of the references. I found out that, apparently, he got into it with another provider he left a bad review for. This confirmed for me that the reviews I saw on the client’s profile were written in retaliation.

Just to make sure he was safe, I asked him to send me his client profile. He couldn’t look it up easily because his kids and wife were hanging around so he sent me two more provider references. One of the references responded quickly and told me he was totally fine but I needed to be careful because he writes bad reviews. 😆

Apparently, everyone in the city but me knew about this blow up he had with the provider. But when he responded to my text, asking for his client profile, I knew then my gut instinct was always right and he was safe to see.

I had heard that providers will try to sabotage a client’s reputation but this was my first time encountering a situation like that and having to make my own decision whether or not to see them. My screening instincts and methods didn’t fail me. The appointment was fine.

Marty and I actually started off talking about how his parents passed away. It was really sad and the conversation was dark. I teared up. I got off the bed and waved my hand at him as if to say, “pay me no mind”. I went to the bathroom to get tissue and as I was walking off, he said, “wait, are you crying?” 😂 I told him “yes” and we laughed about it. He apologized and we agreed to change the subject. But it was a great way to start off the session: with a deeply personal connection!

I guess I have so much I need to work out, emotionally. Apparently, my trauma is too much to contain and it’s spilling over into my work. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyway, he’s definitely far from dangerous. However, he’s a little weird. I also think he’s a horrible liar. He told me that he’s so cool with his regular providers, that he talks with them on the phone for free. He also said that two of his providers are friends and they gave him a free two-hour duo session for his birthday…

😐

Okay… Yeah…

These guys will do the most to manipulate you into giving them free time. And of course, he ended our session by saying that I was welcome to call him anytime I needed an ear…

Okay… Yeah… 😑

Anyway, he was very happy with our session. He said that he actually found my profile six months ago and he’s just been waiting to reach out to me! Bro, you never know who is watching you…

While we were in bed, he said he felt like such an idiot for not contacting me sooner. That was very flattering. I mean, I did give him three pops during the two hours we had together and I don’t think most people are putting forth that kind of energy. Clients get draining after a while and all you want them to do is orgasm and get out anyway.

It was a great day. Hopefully, Jason follows up with me tonight about an appointment tomorrow.

And I highly doubt I will hear from Derrick before he goes away to work again. I guess he just doesn’t think he needs to pay me anymore… Twat.

[cavefilllingcorporation]

Supplies for the Automatons

As the ship started to land on the snowy tundra that is Cyberstan, Commander Vismark gave one last warning to his crew.

“All of you have done this before, so I don’t have to repeat myself again. But just remember, keep your safety collars on at all times, and no matter what you do, do NOT leave this ship or even get in view of the outside without my permission!”

The crew knew this already and confirmed this with nodding and vocal replies. They had done this dance before, and Vismark could trust them to stay safe during the negotiations. Still, he always had to be sure. While the automatons were their clients, they were still programmed to slaughter any human that they encountered. The safety collars were created to pacify them and to let them know that they were friendly, but they weren’t a perfect solution. With how temperamental the automatons were, they may never have a perfect solution.

As he stepped out, he was greeted by an envoy of automatons, who did not even draw their weapons. They knew who he was, even without his own built-in safety collar. Eventually, he came into contact with an automaton hulk, connected to who knows where with a long cable. The automaton super intelligence. He wished for once he could speak to one of the cyborgs, but they never gave him that privilege.

“Well, Commander Vismark. What brings you here.”

“I heard of the situation regarding the massacre. I came as soon as I could.”

“You should know that another one has started, and that your supplies did not survive their false Reclamation.”

Vismark gritted his teeth. There were reports of the new massacre, but they couldn’t get any hard data at the time. This was confirmation of the news. He just hoped that the other information he had was accurate, and that he could appease the intelligence.

“I am aware of this. However, from what our sources say, Super Earth is directing it on both fronts, so it is not targeted at you. In fact, I suspect that more Helldivers will focus on the Terminids rather than on you.”

“They have brought in other soldiers. The divers are not our only problem anymore.”

“I am also aware of this, which is why the Cave Filling Corporation has decided to increase our partnership with a renewed effort towards our allies.”

As he said this, four ships flew warped into orbit. Then more ships came, and more, until two dozen ships were in the sky.

“You will be receiving 9 crates of steel for general use, 2 crates of quartz for relative timekeeping circuits, 1 crate of cobalt for magnets, and 12 crates of silica sand for the production of microchips.”

The automatons watched these ships come in. He wasn’t sure if they were in awe, relief, or were just standing emotionlessly. He didn’t care. The super intelligence then spoke up:

“We have not received this much before. Will the payment increase in proportion?”

“No, it will not. All future steel shipments will contain 9 crates, and the rest is courtesy of the mistiming of the last shipment.” While that was true for the quartz and the cobalt, he didn’t want to tell the automatons that the sand was there because they had it in excess.

“Very well then. We will take it from here.”

With that, Vismark gave the signal, and the crates moved to isolated locations on the planet to offload. The Helldivers were going to hurt because of this, and he couldn’t be any gladder.