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#they just kinda missed out on all the stuff that happened after james died
mermaidsirennikita · 7 months
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finished Mary and George and the way that Julianne Moore is a fucking God-tier actress and the exquisite torture of the mother/son corruption arc where in the end the mother can't control the monster she's created.......... It was giving me the high I haven't felt since Atia and Octavian I must say
Tony Curran was also FABULOUS
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hermesserpent-stuff · 19 days
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May I ask, for Teeth and Claws AU or your X-Men Evolution AUs with Gambit, Sabretooth, and Wolberine in general, what is Wolverine and Sabretooth's relationship? How do they know each other? Were they once friends, or even brothers? And is Creed still kinda platonic yandere for Logan, the way he is with Remy, or just see him as a worthy opponent/packmate?
(I read your newest chapters of Teeth and Claws, and you hit me in the feels. Emotions were felt, and I want to give Remy hugs so bad! But with like, blanket or bubble wrap between, so he isn't being directly touched. Or maybe gift him some kitten plushies, especially a sabretooth tiger one (and sneak in a wolverine plush for reasons).
So I'm straight up stealing from convos that I've had with @golden-buddle.  Bestie is him and his messages have “” around them 
This information is gonna slowly (and Quickly) bubble up in the fic
tw child abuse and violence
In this fic, since i dont know id the made it canon for evolution, Logan and victor are brothers. With a shared mom and dad and all that fun stuff. Victor was born in 1827 as Victor howlett. James (Logan) was born 1832. Victor started showing signs of being a feral at 14 and was tied up in the yard by their father to keep people safe from him acting on instinct. He lost his mind to pure instinct for a year.His father tried ripping out Victors teeth and claws, but they kept growing back. Logan would visit as night, not understanding why his brother was tied up and likeing the way Victor purred and nuzzled him. Victor slowly comes back to human speech through the attention of Logan and starts acting more human. Their father makes him spend nights in the yard and uses him for work around the homestead. Victor chafes under the cruel hand of their father but sticks it out for Logan. He is on a trip to town when Logans feral gene kicks in at 12. 
When he sees his brothers bloody face missing fangs and his father's hands bloody while their mother hides away, he loses himself. He rips apart their father and devours his eyes and heart before crushing the bones and dumping the remains in a strong flowing river. His little brother will not suffer his fate.
No one knows what happened to me. Howlett. Only that his wife died of a broken heart not a month later. Logan is double distraught and the two do their best to survive and deal with their instincts with Logan leaning towards civilization and Victor leaning towards wildness.
They become guns for hire, joing the civil war. Logan finds someone to love and settles down post war and Victor can't stand being stuck in one place after being a river. He tries to get Logan to come with and they separated after a blow-up argument where Logan essentially established that either he had to be head of the pack or the pack is dissolved. So the pack dissolved for a long long time. Victor dropped the Howlett last name and took up the name Creed. Centuries where one figured that the other had not gotten the longevity trait of the mutation. Many near misses in wars like wwi and WWII of seeing each other again. Creed's scent changed during that time and so did Logan's.
They meet back up after WWii when Weapon X is in full swing to try and recreate cap. America on some level. This is where we wander into au territory. 
Victor and Logan recognize each other in the program and there is a lot of joy and relief in seeing that the other didnt die once they realize who the other feral is (this takes a little bit due to all the changes) . They both have picked up their animal names by then and go by them frequently. 
They both are on board for augmentation, but both of them thinking it would just be the claws and nothing past that. They both are very firm on this. Victor was the one who got Logan to stay on even as he got nervous about things. Victor did not know that they would mess with his brother's mind. Just thought it was a body change. Victor got stronger nails but his healing factor is too weak for a full animantium skeleton.  Logan sees this and victor shows them off and logan is okay with going under. For his claws and nothing more. But whoopsie poopsie, whole skeleton. And mind games!! And logan bursts out full feral and in pain and runs after breaking the facility a bit. 
Time passes 
Creed does not realize that Logan has lost his memory of them reuniting. He thinks that his brother knows and is pissed. 
To quote bestie:
“Victor has no idea that Logan’s memories have been shot.
Victor has no idea that Wolvie has no idea that they’re blood brothers
Victor could be under the impression that Logan decided a while back that they WERENT Pack anymore-
Because Logan isn’t really fighting for dominance- he’s fighting for his life”
“Logan thinks his older brother is dead, and this is just some feral who recognizes that Logan’s older, therefor to get more territory it’s best to cull the older feral and absorb his territory. So Logan’s fighting for his life and his pack.
Victor, meanwhile, is just seeing their constant clashes as a fucked up dominance fight. Sure, his Jimmy is being a biiiit more violent than they were during Weapon X, but that’s probably because Jimmy has claimed the X-men as pack. Which totally doesn’t chaff him and make him jealous. Not at all. 
They probably had a very emotional break down when they realized who eachother was back during Weapon X.
Just. Vic is the only one who remembers it. Logan doesn’t.”
 This will only be clarified because creed gets his own kit and becomes less interested in being pack with logan. Because normal cubs like remy only get one lifetime. he can make pack with Jimmy later after infinite fights. but remy don't have infinite time. 
Some additional not asked about thoughts because magneto mighttttt use remy to influence creed when he realizes how close the two are. 
-- Sabretooth is sent on mission that was supposed to be him and Remy breaking into a place. But very suddenly Remy is throwing up in the trash can and smelling so sick. Magneto tells him he can take care of Remy after the mission. He's back in 2 hrs for something that should have lasted a day. He completely ignores Logan, and when the other feral tries to fight, creed is snappy and Logan notices the tiny braid in Creeds hair that smells of cub. If Sabretooth has a cub where are they? Are they safe with Sabretooth?? Logan's instincts flare as creed gets gone from the scene.
Logan has to know if creed has a cub. The guy never showed himself as someone who could take care of a cub. Or as someone who could be gentle when the time called for it. And cub with creed might be in danger. Danger that Logan feels he has to prevent, because who else can tell that creed has a kid based on scent markers??
“hes so concerned!!
Victor is clearly run by his instincts if he keeps attacking the one older feral nearby-
what would happen to the kid when they eventually grow too old to be stifled by Victor's instincts???”
When he meets Remy, it's some how  worse. The kid is a good fighter but jittery in any other context with a clear aversion to touch and sniffs. Logan is just trying to figure out how scent and boom the kid is full on distressed. What. Did. Creed. Do.
And thats all the sneak peak into my brain and besties brain. 
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frothingatthemaw · 2 months
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okay i dont think itll fit in one ask but here we go (and by it haha well lets justr say the entire podcast)
MAG 1 anglerfish
the magnus institute is a research organization for the supernatural (oooOOoOoO). they take statements of people who have had Paranormal™ experiences !! jonathan sims believes most of them are fake.
our beloved head archivist jonathan "jon" sims was promoted (by the head of the institute) (elias bouchard) from researcher to !! head archivist !! of the magnus institute, london !!!! because the one before him (gertrude robinson) is missing (oooooo) (she died). the year is 2016 and he started at the institute in 2012 also i might give you specific episodes later just so you can hear peoples voices yk yk
but !! he has been assigned two (three (3)) assistants !! tim stoker, sasha james, and martin blackwood !! he Does Not like martin.
the archives are VERY disorganized !! the files are not all in their right boxes and the boxes have some strange labels like 86-91 G/H
most of the (thousands of) statements are handwritten or typed on a typewriter, with no digital/audio copy. "in fact, i believe the first computer to ever enter this room is the laptop i have brought in today". he is making audio recordings of statements. also. this is all recorded on a tape recorder. (attempts to record many of the statements on his laptop have been met with significant audio distortion) (but not all of them) (btw a lot of this is direct quotes. i am not currently listening to tma i just know it) (what autism does to a mf)
because the investigation and research isnt included in the files, tim, sasha, and martin have to do supplementary research. and he will Read them at the end of each statement. but since its super super disorganized the order of the statements is. not. like there just is no order its random
BUT !!!!! statement time
statement of nathan watts. regarding an encounter on old fishmarket close, edinburgh. statement given april 22, 2012.
statements are given in first person but im just gonna summarize
SO. this guy is at college (or uni as the brits say) (for biochem) (it was a few years before he gave the statement thats probably important to note) and he has a weird birthday + took a gap year so hes like 2 years older than his classmates which means he tends to hang out with older students
so hes at a party for his friend michael mccauley because he got accepted into an earth science masters and theyre down at a place drinking very disruptively so they have the place to themselves
so now hes drunk so he decides to walk (30 minutes) (very hilly) home (he did resist going home but he went anyways a bit later) but so hes walking home and he has a bit of a tumble stumble (on account of the hills) (steep) (he is drunk) so he has a cigarette to calm himself
suddenly (gasp) there is a Guy in an alleyway next to him and he asks "can i have a cigarette" and so our man nathan is a bit unnerved but he holds out a cigarette nonetheless but the alley guy doesnt move and keeps Swaying (hes swaying) and says it again
the guy had a Blank face and was lookin kinda sickly and was Swaying some more (from the waist)
so then the alley guy asks again and then statement giver nathan is like. woahg that guys mouth is not moving. so then he looks at Alley Figures feet and well gosh golly they are not on the ground
so he drops his cigarette and turns on his phone flashlight but then the Alley Figure disappears (folding in by the waist) (like they were tied to a string that suddenly got pulled tight)
so hes looking in the alleyway and he sees nothing. its just a boring old alley.
so he goes back to the Public where there are People due to it is Public and goes home the rest of the way in a taxi. and then he goes to bed mimimi
and then the next day after doing hangover stuff he goes to the Spot again to look at it while the Sun is out. but nothing happens. and there is an unsmoked cigarette (marlboro red)
he looks it up and theres nothing. he tells his friends and they go erm well you were drunk but hes never hallucinated while drunk but nobody believes him
and then a few days later a student disappears. john fellows. who was at the party longer than nathan and in the picture on his missing poster he has a pack of marlboro red cigarettes in his pocket (woahg)
nathan has not quit smoking. but he does take more taxis
STATEMENT ENDS
what a first episode !! crazy right so now the research
- no evidence to prove this. our beloved archivist was going to refile this statement in the discredited section that he made because hes a skeptic
- BUT. sasha (love her) found missing person reports from between 2005 and 2010 and there were six (6) people who went missing there in those years
- jessica mc something in 05
- sarah baldwin in 06
- daniel raulings(?) in december 06
- ashley dobbson? and meghan shorr in may and june 08
- john fellows in march 2010
they were all unsolved !! baldwin and shorr were smokers but we dont know about the rest
sasha also found the last picture taken by ashleys phone that was sent to her sister, captioned "check out this drunk creeper, LOL" (pls note he says el oh el like the letters personally offended him its really funny) except the picture is an empty alleyway (the same one described in the statement)
sasha increased contrast and it shows the outline of a very long hand at waist height of ur average guy. and the hand looks like its beckoning.
END EPISODE ONE
i love tma so much bro why can't my stupid brain let me do anything..... guys can't have anything around here smh smh /silly
i love you jon so bad.....
also. i did listen to this episode but my brain got a little confused with it (i cannot visualize things in my brain well) so this has made me understand this episode a hell of a lot better, thank you <3 this was so pleasant to read, it's laid out very well and very informative for the shorter formant <3 thank you beloved arson!!!!!!! doing god's work for me fr
i also want to note i have listened/read the first 5 episodes (6 being the next i haven't heard), but i would love to hear more even about the episodes i do know, because you telling me about them helps me a lot to understand all of it better :] no pressure though but feel 100% free to come back and do this anytime at all, i would genuinely love to hear more <333
thank you again, love hearing about this ^v^
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princesssarcastia · 3 years
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2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer
im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.
Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 
A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 
Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 
Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)
Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.
I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.
blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)
In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”
Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.
Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)
Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.
*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.
☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!
Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.
Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)
Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?
I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.
☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)
This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.
shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)
Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether
Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.
they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.
chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)
When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.
This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”
So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.
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wiypt-writes · 4 years
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Riding On
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CH7- Home, Sweet Home
Summary: Frank and Fliss find their perfect family home, but there’s something bothering Mary.
Warnings: Bad Language words. Discussions about suicide. A little bit of angst.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is a bit of an emotionally charged filler chapter…and we move time on a little through to June in the middle. And photos of the Adler house are included at the bottom so you can visualise what I used for inspiration.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 6
You’re giving it another try, staring at the deep blue sky, and you say to the driver just drive, coz you never felt so alive.
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 April 2019
“Hey honey, you ok?” Frank juggled his phone, pinning it between his ear and his shoulder as he leaned over his computer in the office, scanning the database on the screen for a filter part they needed to order. 
“No, I mean yes! I’ve just heard some awesome news!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, so you remember the guy that bought the house that backs onto the yard when Old Man River died…” “That wasn’t his name.” Frank chuckled “It was Mr Morris.”
“He called himself River, it was funny and suited him. Anyway, that’s not the point. You know the guy who bought it…guess what I found out before?”
Frank stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He didn’t like that dick, one bit. When Mr Morris had died at the start of the year, Fliss had been quite upset about the news as the old man had been very friendly to her, often popping in for a cup of tea a few afternoons a week for some company. Mr Morris’ son had sold the house without them even knowing it had gone on the market, which was a shame as it would have been perfect for them given the location. The guy who had bought it, Frank didn’t even know his name, nor did he care because he was a dick and a pervert to boot. The way he looked at Fliss made Frank want to punch his face in.
“What’s Douchey Mc Douchebag done now?”
“You’re so childish.” she scoffed “Anyway, I was only commenting to Joanne last night that we haven’t seen him for like a month and she went home and mentioned it to her dad who works with some other guy in the property development business and the long and short of it is he’s gone bankrupt Frank!”
Frank laughed loudly “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, babe!”
“I know right!” Fliss voice was gathering pace and pitch, the way it always did when she was excited. “So literally about half hour after she’s told me this, someone turns up and there’s a For Sale sign outside, the house is on the market!”
Ok now he was interested. Frank could picture the look of excitement on her face as she spoke to him and he felt the smile cross his face “No shit?”
“Yeah, I’ll send you the website to look at the photos but…oh God, it would be perfect! Some of it is really nice, some of it needs decorating but…”
“Ok, well, why don’t you call the realtor? Arrange a viewing” he said “Hopefully you won’t puke halfway round this one.”
“Ok, first off that wasn’t my fault. Bean objected to the smell. Who the fuck cooks eggs the day they know they have someone coming to view their house?” her indignant tone made Frank chuckle “And second off…”she paused “I already did. He said he can meet us at half 12.”
“Half 12? As in lunch time? Today?” Frank frowned.
“I know I just really don’t want to miss out on this one Frank, and you said you were gonna come up here for lunch and-”
“Ok, ok.” Frank sighed “I’ll shuffle some stuff around, work a little later tonight and take an extra half hour.”
“I love you.” she replied and he could hear the smile in her voice.
“Good job I love you too.” he said back gruffly “Because you’re a pain in my ass.”
He bid her goodbye and just as he was looking at the rota to make sure there were enough staff in to cope if he took a longer lunch, his phone beeped. He clicked through to the link Fliss had sent him and had a scan through the photos. To be fair the house didn’t look in too bad condition. It was deceptive from the outside, looked like a small farmhouse but they knew thanks to the extension Douchebag had put on the back it now formed an L shape and from the look of it, was pretty spacious. The kitchen was new, the main bathroom was new so the big work looked like it had been mostly done. The décor in some of the rooms was really old fashioned, especially the hallway you and the front reception room, but that was all cosmetic. What really grabbed him was the price. It was up for just over 320 thousand, which was a fucking steal considering the size, location, the garden and the garage/outhouse it came with.
“You ok Frank?”
He looked up and smiled as Alan, his boss walked in to the office. “Yeah, sorry, Fliss has found a house and managed to book a viewing for lunch time. Fucking 7th one in 2 weeks.”
Alan snorted “Keeping you on your toes I see?”
“Well I gotta say, this one’s looking pretty good. It’s the house that backs onto our Yard out in Pinellas Park.” Frank explained “It was sold not even 6 months ago to a developer and he’s apparently gone bankrupt so put it back on the market.”
“Huh.” Alan smiled “Sounds like it was meant to be. Take it you’re going then?”
“Yeah, Charlie and Gary are in all afternoon. I thought I could take an extra half hour, work it back tonight or…”
“Frank, when was the last time you actually took a full hour for your lunch and didn’t cut it short by 10 or 15?” Alan looked at him.
Frank hesitated “Yeah, but that’s-”
“No buts.” Alan shook his head. “Do what you gotta do.”
“Thanks Alan.” Frank smiled, “I appreciate it.”
Alan waved away his gratitude before he dropped into the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s small desk and gestured for Frank to sit down.
“I wanted to talk to you in person, before the news gets out. I’m looking at retiring Frank, fully this time.”
“That’s good news, for you I mean.” Frank smiled, taking his seat. “You must be happy?”
“Kinda bitter sweet.” He shrugged “But I hit 70 this year and bout time I let it all go. Bill’s already chomping at the bit to book damned fishing trips so...it’ll be nice to step back. But I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Shoot.”
“My son, James is going to be taking over, that won’t come as any surprise to you as you’ve seen him knocking around a bit and he likes you.”
“Good to know I’m not going to be out on my ass.” Frank smiled, breathing out a little.
“No, not a chance. I wouldn’t allow it.” Alan said “I’ll still be the owner, just stepping back from major decision making and day to day running. Anyway, the point is Frank, James needs a deputy. He is young and a little inexperienced. I’ve seen how quickly over the last year you’ve picked up rotas, staffing issues, dealt with the stock takes, haggled with the supply chain…I wondered if you’d consider it.”
Frank blinked “You wanna make me deputy manager?”
“In a word, yes. And I know you got your hands full at the moment and they’ll be even more full when that boy of yours arrives but the changes won’t come into effect until the end of the year so we got plenty of time to work out the details.”
“Wow, I err…” Frank shook his head “I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t need an answer now.” Alan said, “Take some time to consider it. Talk it over with Fliss.”
“I will, I’ll give it some thought.”
“Ok, well, that’s all I dropped in for.” Alan said, standing up, groaning a little “Did you just hear my damned knees click?”
Frank laughed and shook his head “No, but to be honest mine click too so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Getting old sucks.” Alan said, shaking his head “I tell ya, the minute I can’t enjoy the simple things in life, put a bullet in my head.”
Frank snorted as Alan shot him a wink and left him to his thoughts.
******* Frank glanced down at the wooden boards beneath his feet in the entrance hall. They were solid old wood, oak he thought, and with a clean and polish would look stunning. He looked up and saw Fliss talking animatedly to the realtor, a young man called David as he nodded and gestured to his left. Fliss opened the door and looked at Frank who followed her into the first reception room. It smelt musty, and there was an old sofa and threadbare carpet in the room but it was light and had a nice, airey feeling to it thanks to the large windows at the front of the house.
“New carpet and a bit of paint…” Frank mused nodding, “Be good as new.”
She nodded eagerly, her eyes shining a she looked around and nodded at the fire place “Really, in Florida?”
“It gets cold, as you know.” he teased “Besides, we just fill it with some of your million candles or whatever…”
She nudged him and they turned around, David watching them.
“So, you’re obviously in the older part of the house that hasn’t really been touched apart from upstairs.” he explained, “But if you follow me I’ll show you the extension which is all new and, well, to be honest, I think it’s stunning.”
The three of them moved back into the hall and through a door at the end which led into a huge open plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen was gorgeous. Sleek white units, modern appliances, marble tops, a huge breakfast bar. Douchebag had clearly spent a fortune doing this up. The floor was a light grey and white laminate which David pointed out was heavy wearing.  To the left of the kitchen area was a huge space where Frank could clearly picture their sofas and TV, and then just off that was a door which led into another smaller reception room, freshly painted and carpeted.  He was just pondering how they could turn that into a play room when Fliss gave a gasp and nudged Frank pointing to the large bay window at the back which had been converted into a seating nook of sorts. They made their way over and saw that the view extended right over their garden highlighting a small pool area which was surrounded by a low set of railings with a gate that were all painted a glossy black. The pool itself was sparklingly clean and clearly brand new.
“Oh wow… “ Fliss mumbled, looking at the sand stone tiles that surrounded the area and the rest of the garden.
“Yeah the rear garden loops in an L round the house” David said. “There’s a larger fence around this area to keep it private and separate from the land at the front that runs flush to the yard area.”
Frank’s hands dropping to her hips as he nodded to the right “Could extend that little patio area for a table and chairs, maybe build a brick BBQ. Couple of sun-loungers for that bit at the back of the pool.”
She nodded eagerly before they headed back into the hallway they’d entered into where the realtor showed them the little room that was to the right as you came in the door which held a number of shelves and coat hooks and a toilet and sink basin. They then headed up stairs to find 4 bedrooms. The master extended down the entire side of the house overlooking the main yard area of Sandybrook. It needed some work, the plaster and paint was peeling away in some areas, but Frank wasn’t worried at that. It was an easy job. What he was pleased to see was that the rest of it was in good condition. There was a brand new en-suite attached to it, housing a toilet, a huge shower and his and hers sinks. The room also had built in wardrobes and huge ceiling to floor bi-folding doors which opened up onto a small balcony. Douchebag had clearly been focussing on the big jobs first before he got into the cosmetics, which Frank had to give him credit for.
The main bathroom was in between the wall of their en-suite and the next bedroom, both situated at the back of the house over the extension and overlooking the fields belonging to the yard. The plaster was fresh in that bedroom but hadn’t been painted, again, not an issue, because Frank knew a certain little miss would be no doubt picking a colour as soon a she spotted this room.
“Bet Mary chooses this one.” Frank said, voicing his thoughts and Fliss nodded, smiling
“I would if the Master didn’t have that en-suite.” she grinned “Look at that view!”
“Yeah, who’d have thought you could work from home in the equestrian business” he chuckled as they then headed to the next bedroom on the opposite side of the landing. This was also rather large, but like the main part of the master bedroom, was clearly one of the original two bedrooms the house had and it needed some updating.
The 4th bedroom was a smaller one up a narrow set of stairs hidden by door in the hallway. It opened up into an attic room which tucked into the roof of the house.
The realtor then led them back down and the out to the outbuildings. There was a huge garage with a half- finished apartment of sorts above it that had been used as storage but could be easily a guest suite if they so wanted,  and then the thing Frank had really loved was the workshop off the side of the garage, accessed by a small door. It was musty and full of crap but was somewhere for him to store all his tools and work on any side projects he decided to pick up.
All in all Frank was finding it pretty damned hard to pick faults in the place.
As they headed back to the main house and Frank asked David politely to give them a moment to look around alone and he nodded eagerly before Frank and Fliss headed back into the house.
“I’m getting good vibes Sailor.” Fliss said as she turned round, looking at the kitchen, once more heading over to the bay window seat, “really good vibes.” she spun back to him and he smiled at the look on her face. “I mean, ok, a few rooms need decorating and there’s some finishing off bits to do all over but it’s nothing that dad can’t help with and I’m sure-“
At that she stopped dead, and gave a little gasp as her hand flew to her bump.
“You ok?” Frank stepped forward.
“Yeah he’s…” she swallowed “Bean’s kicking, Frankie! Quick!”
He reached out with his hand and she took it, pressing it to the side of her bump. After a second or two he felt something wriggle a little under his palm and he looked at Fliss, his face cracking into an open mouthed smile as he felt his son move for the first time.
“Lissy…” he swallowed his eyes misting over. “That’s…oh my God!”
“You should feel it from my POV!” Fliss smiled her own eyes glassy too.
Frank didn’t want to take his hand away. Instead, he kept moving his palm, tracking their baby’s movements when eventually they stopped.
“I think that means BB likes the house.” Fliss looked at him.
Frank scoffed, shaking his head. “BB’s Momma likes the house.”
“Doesn’t his Daddy?” she asked, her hands sliding round his neck.
“Yeah, his Daddy does.” he replied honestly in a low voice as he looked around the large room. “In fact, I like it a lot.”
“You think Mary will?”
“Are you kidding?” Frank snorted “Soon as she sees that view and that pool, she’ll be packing to move in straight away.”
“Suppose there’s only one way to find out.” Fliss smiled.
So they did. They brought Mary back the next day after school. She had squealed at the window seat, yelled about the pool and as she had shot upstairs and headed into the bedroom Frank had predicted she would like, given a jump for joy as she realised from the upstairs she had a view over the tall picket fencing that shielded the private area of the garden.
“I can see Monty!” she gleefully pointed out before turning to Frank and looking at him then to Fliss, her hands on her hips “If you don’t buy this house you’re a pair of dumbasses.”
The same sentiment was echoed by Bill when he turned up fifteen minutes or so later and walked around with Frank whilst Fliss and Mary headed to feed the horses. He did exactly the same thing he had done when they had looked at the apartment, pointed out what they needed to do, how long it should take them to do, rough estimates of cost. Plus, he also reminded Frank they were in a great position. They could buy the place and then give his months’ notice on the apartment meaning they could stay where they were until it was finished.
So that was it. Decision made. The next morning they went in with a cheeky offer, some twenty thou below the asking price which was rejected instantly. Then they upped their offer by five…then an additional three to total eight, with the fact that they were cash buyers and not in a chain a huge bargaining chip.
It was later that evening, just after they had finished dinner when the realtor called back.
“Evening Mr Adler, ok so…I have spoken to the vendor. He says if you can up your offer by another two thousand then you’ve got a deal.” David spoke. At that, Frank let out a huge grin, as he looked out of the kitchen window at Mary and Fliss who were outside the apartment, both sat on a chair round the table. He and Fliss had both agreed they were prepared to go to the full asking price, in their mind it was worth it, but they were about to seal the deal here for ten thousand less.
 “Ok, two thousand more.” Frank said, keeping his voice level “But the property comes off the market as we don’t want anyone else spotting it and offering him more before we exchange contracts.” he repeated word for word what Greg had instructed him to do when he had asked him to handle the conveyancing earlier that morning.
“Ok, so the offer on the table is Three-ten on the proviso he grants exclusivity…” David repeated. “Ok, leave it with me.”
Frank finished loading the dishwasher, and had just grabbed himself a beer when David called back not even five minutes later.
“Congratulations Mr Adler, you have a deal.”
He thanked him, and grinning ear to ear headed outside, jumping down the steps onto the lawn.
“What you looking so pleased about?” Fliss looked up at him suspiciously.
“David called… we’ve settled on three-ten plus exclusivity” he smiled
“What, you mean…” Fliss’ mouth fell open and Frank nodded.
“Yup, subject to contracts, the place is ours!”
Mary gave a loud cheer as Fliss jumped up and leapt at him as he smiled, wrapping her in his arms, swinging her up slightly.
“I can’t believe it…” she whispered. “Our own home!”
“I know” he beamed, setting her down as he gave her a quick peck. “I’ll call Greg in the morning. When I talked to him about it he said that with no loans involved it shouldn’t take too long. We could be looking a having the keys in a month.” His hands dropped to her hips, palms resting either side of where his son was growing “So plenty of time to do his nursery.”
Fliss grinned and using the arms that were round his neck pulled his face down to hers and pressed a fierce kiss to his mouth. “God I love you.” she mumbled.
“Love you too.” he grinned, kissing her again, ignoring Mary’s fake puking noises in the background.
*****
June 2019
“Mr Adler?"
Frank stopped as he had been striding over the yard to collect Mary and turned to see Mrs McCarthy, her teacher walking towards him.
"Hi." He smiled, removing his sunglasses so he could look her in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry to bother you"
"No bother at all." He assured her "is everything OK?"
Mrs McCarthy glanced over to where Mary was stood talking to her friend, Rosie, and turned back to him
"Yes...nothing too drastic but I wanted to make you aware about a little incident in class this afternoon"
Frank looked at her, blinking "incident?"
"Maybe that's the wrong word." The older, blonde woman said "Look, as you know next week it's the end of year Gala, the fundraiser and we invite the parents to join us for activities.”
Frank nodded, wishing the woman would get to the damned point. He was hot, dirty and bothered after an afternoon of helping the team on a particularly awkward repair and wanted nothing more than to stand under a cold shower for an hour and flop down outside with a beer.
"Well, one of the girls asked Mary if she was bringing her mom and if they were making anything for the bake sale and Mary rather bluntly told the girl her mother was dead and then clammed up. She didn't speak a word for the rest of the afternoon."
Frank felt his chest tighten as he looked over at Mary who was now giggling with Rosie and sighed
"She didn't do anything wrong" Mrs McCarthy pressed "I was just a little worried."
"Thanks for letting me know, I'll talk to her later, make sure she's okay." Frank assured her.
The woman nodded and headed back across the yard as Frank gave a sharp whistle and slid his aviators back onto his face. Mary looked up and said goodbye to Rosie and came wandering over as Frank waved to Rosie's mom who tossed a hand in greeting in response.
"I'm not Thor" She fixed Frank with a stare.
"I know but I couldn't be bothered walking over." He replied honestly as they climbed into the truck
"You have a good day?"
"It was OK." She shrugged. Frank eyed her for a second before she pulled the car away from the kerb and set off down the road.
"What's for dinner?" Mary asked.
"Steak, baked potatoes and salad." He replies "Fliss' choice."
"Are you grilling?" Mary asked.
"Yup." He nodded
"Cool." Mary nodded "Can I go in the pool before?"
"Got any homework?" Frank countered with another question as he looked at her. Mary shook her head
“End of year next week and Uni didn't give me any summer work."
"Then yeah, of course you can.”
Frank didn't raise the so called incident, deciding to let her chill out a little bit at home first and digest how she felt. After 20 minutes or so of general chat Frank pulled up their driveway and stopped the truck next to Fliss' truck. As they hopped out Mary glanced across the garden over the smaller part of the fence where she could just see Fliss walking across the yard.
"Please can I go see Monty?" She looked at Frank and he nodded.
"I'll watch you." He agreed. With a grin she sprinted over the lawn, climbed over the fence and dropped over onto the other side. Thor gave a bark and Fliss turned round and smiled at her, before she waved at Frank. He waved back before he headed down the side of the house, through the gate in the larger fence before he unlocked the back door and stepped inside the cool air conditioned kitchen, kicking off his shoes and heading straight to the fridge for a beer. Draining half in one he stood, looking around and smiling. They’d finally unpacked the last box yesterday evening and Fliss was still in the process of moving things around their new home, positioning them where she wanted them.
True to Greg’s word, they’d had the keys to the house 4 and a half weeks after making the offer, and 2 weeks post that once the bedrooms and hall had been decorated with a lot of help from Bill, Verity and Roberta (who had been happy for them yet still cried her eyes out when they’d left the park, despite the fact they had assured her they would still come visit and she could also come stay with them too) they’d moved in. The only thing left to do was the reception room (which could wait, it was easy to just shut the door and pretend it didn’t exist) and Bean’s nursery, which he, Fliss and Mary had decided to do together as a project. Mary and Fliss had spent nights pouring over Pinterest for ideas and they’d finally settled on a scheme. Frank had picked up all the plastering supplies and the paint, the furniture was on order and should be arriving at any time that week now he thought about it…so hopefully that weekend they could get cracking. That might cheer Mary up now he thought about it.
Taking his beer with him, he picked up his boots and took them to the cloakroom/bathroom by the stairs. He trudged up the steps, shaking his head at Fred who was led at the top, his paws hanging over the edge of the step as he eyed Frank.
"You're gonna cause a fucking accident." He looked at the ginger cat who merely swished his tail in response. Frank headed into their bedroom, stripping off as he went, walking straight into the en-suite, turning on the shower, setting his beer down on the edge of the sink unit. He stepped in and under the stream of cool water, closing the screen behind him, his mind still on Mary and how he was going to bring up what her teacher has said. With a groan he opened the door, reached out of the cubicle for his beer, took another gulp before he set about washing the grime of the day away.
***** "Have you finished grooming him?" Fliss asked, standing in the doorway to Monty's stable. Mary glanced over from where she had been brushing through his white tail and nodded.
"Wanna take him to the paddock?" Fliss smiled. "Cap and Bronson are waiting for their little pal."
"Sure." Mary shrugged and Fliss frowned a little at her demeanour. She was quiet, which was unlike her when she was round the horses. She was normally full of excitement.
"You OK?" She asked and Mary nodded.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem quiet, that's all."
"No, I'm good." She shrugged, before she tossed her brush into the little grooming box she had, closing the lid and passing it to Fliss. Fliss placed the box into the larger wooden one outside the stable before Mary put Monty's halter on and led him out of his stall. Fliss allowed them to walk ahead, her hand on her bump as she followed them out of the yard and down the little path to the gate that led to the paddocks. They reached the one were Monty was going and undoing the gate, Mary led him in. The white pony stood patiently for her to take his halter off before he stuck his nose into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Fliss smiled as Mary gently stroked his neck and then to her utter horror she saw Mary’s shoulders begin to shake as the girl started to cry.
"Hey, Mary..." she soothed, stepping forward as the small girl turned to her, wrapping her arms around her as best she could, pressing her face into her bump "Oh baby what's wrong?"
Mary didn’t reply, instead she continued to sob and Fliss felt powerless to do anything other than wrap her arms around her, one hand resting on her head, the other between her shoulders.
“Something happened at School…” Mary whispered and Fliss gently tipped her head up to look at her. “Someone said something and…”
“Ok, how about we go back to the office and you can tell me all about it ok?”
Mary nodded, sniffing as her sobs died down. Fliss held out her hand and Mary took it and together they headed back down to the yard. Joanne looked at Mary who was hiccupping slightly with her sobs and frowned but Fliss shook her head.
“Can you feed the top barn for me and then you can go.” she said to Jo who nodded. “I’ll lock up.” “Sure, see you tomorrow. Bye Mary.” she smiled. Mary looked at her and gave a small wave before Fliss led her into the office. She grabbed them both an apple juice from the fridge and then Mary sat on the chair at the end of the desk, wiping her eyes with a tissue that Fliss handed her from the box.
“You ready to talk?”
Mary nodded, and then she stood up and walked over to Fliss who made room for her to clamber up onto her lap. It was a bit awkward but after a little shifting around they found a way she could sit unobstructed by Boston Bean and Mary lay her head against Fliss’ shoulder.
“It was about the gala.” she sniffed “One of them asked me if my mom was coming and…”
“Oh sweetie.” Fliss sighed, rubbing her back. “I get that must have been hard.”
Mary shrugged “I told them she was dead.” she said matter of factly “I get that and I never knew my mom so I don’t miss her as a person…but then I started to think about why she died and I don’t understand.” “Understand what?”
“Why?” Mary looked at her. “Why would she do what she did when she had me? Why did she want to leave me behind?”
Fliss took a deep breath and cradled the girl as best she could, trying to think of a way to explain to which Mary could relate, and then it came to her, she could use her own experience here. There was no getting around the fact this was going to be a heave conversation, but Mary was a smart kid and deserved to be treated as such.
With another deep inhale, Fliss looked down at her, kissing her head before she opened rather bluntly "You know I tried to kill myself."
"You did?" Mary pulled back to look up at her "Why?"
"Because I saw it as my only way out." Fliss gently smoothing Mary’s hair back. "I was stuck in an awful situation. My ex-husband hurt me physically and mentally and I gave up. I wanted out."
Mary remained silent and looked at her.
"For someone to get to that point...they have to have hit rock bottom. Like there is nowhere to go. It's not their fault. And it doesn't mean they don't love the people they leave behind just that they're desperate to escape whatever pain they feel, be it in their head or their body or both."
"But I still don't understand." Mary shook her head.
"And you may never, not fully." Fliss sighed gently "And as horrible as it is that's something you are gonna have to live with but you have to remember that your mom was sick. And for whatever reason she saw this as her only escape. It wasn't Evelyn's fault, it wasn't Frank's fault and it certainly wasn't yours."
"But if she loved me like Frank says she did..."
"You think I don't love my mum and dad? Or Steve? Charlie, Joel?"
Mary blinked before she lay her head back against Fliss' shoulder. "Of course you do.”
"But I was still gonna leave them behind. I was desperate. And you wanna know the real stupid thing?"
"What?"
"When I got better I still went back to John. I went back to a real toxic environment and a man that abused me. Because I felt like it was what I deserved. And even though I left him way before I met you and Frank, it wasn't until me and Frank started dating that I really understood I wasn't to blame. I always thought I did something to make him hurt me but I didn't. Being with Frank, the way he treats me and loves me made me see that it was him with the problem, not me.”
"But that's different" Mary glanced up
"The trigger was, yes." Fliss nodded "But your mom, like me, was in a position so helpless, so unbelievably sad that she thought she was to blame and that the world, including you, would be better off without her even though she was so wrong."
**** Once showered and dried, Frank dressed in a pair of shorts and clean T-shirt before he headed back downstairs. There was no sign of Fliss or Mary but as he strode out into the garden he heard a car heading down the drive by the side of the house from the yard and correctly assumed it was Joanne leaving for the day. He opened the gate and just saw the tail of her car turn onto the main road as he headed into the garage for the charcoal to light the BBQ.
Once that was done, leaving the flames to die down he headed out across the lawn, vaulting over the small fence onto the yard. He headed round the barn and frowned as he couldn't see anyone. After a quick look round he spotted the door to Fliss' office was closed. He went to open it but stopped as he could hear the sound of voices. It was Mary and Fliss but he could tell from the pitch and stutters in Mary's that she was upset. He paused, hand hovering over the handle as he heard Fliss speaking to her softly. "Stack, you are so loved. Frank loves you, I love you, Nanny V, Poppa Bill, Uncle Steeby, Roberta, Evelyn...Thor, Fred and Monty..." she paused "You're such a special little girl and I know I'm not your mom but, well, I feel like I am."
"You do?"
"I'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. And so would Frank"
They both fell silent and Frank swallowed, the lump in his throat almost choking him.
"Don't ever feel like we don't" Fliss continued "and if I have to bake 200 fucking cookies for your Gala next week to prove it then I will."
Mary giggles "You know Bean can hear you swearing."
"Well I won't tell Frank if you don't"
"Do you think Frank feels like my dad?" Mary asked a moment later and at that point Frank really wanted to walk away. He couldn't listen to this, he didn't want to listen to this...but something kept him rooted to the spot.
"I know he does." Fliss replied.
"But he doesn't like it when people say it. I know that, I heard him talking to you. Bill’s not your real dad but you still say he is…."
“That’s slightly different sweetheart.” Fliss sighed "My real dad left my mom before I was born, so when he died. I didn’t even know him and I don’t care that I didn’t either. But your mom was Frank's sister. He wants to make sure you remember her, understand who she was. He could have easily just pretended to be your dad all this time, you would never have known any different but he didn't. Because he loves you and your mom too much. He's too honest and it’s important to him that you understand. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you like he is your dad, or that you can't love him like he is."
Frank turned away from the door, looking up at the sky and taking a deep shuddering breath. Fuck, this was hard to hear. He knew Mary had been upset before but the thought that it ran this deep was killing me. Wiping at his face, his hands then dropped to his hips and he looked down at his sneakers before he turned to the door, reaching for the handle but once more pausing as he couldn’t face interrupting them, not whilst they were in the middle of a moment.
“I suppose that makes sense.” Mary continued  “And I do love him like he is. And I love you like you’re my mom too.”
“Well that’s all that matters.” Fliss replied “It may be unconventional but we’re a family, and that’s the main thing huh?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Lissy.” Mary spoke.
“You’re welcome Stack” Fliss’s voice was soft and there was a pause as Frank could picture the pair of them hugging.
“Hey, did you now I’m going to be doing all the money stuff for the bake stall?” Mary’s voice was suddenly up beat as she switched topic “Because I’m good at maths they said I could be in charge of payments and handing people their change and stuff.”
“Nice work kiddo.” Fliss smiled, “Tell you what, we’ll put Nanny V on the case, her baking is way better than mine. We can get her over one night next week whilst Pops is helping Frank with the plastering in the nursery.”
Ok, that was it, safe to enter without interrupting anything. Frank gave a little knock and then opened the door, fixing a smile on his face.
“Hope I haven’t interrupted any girl talk” he smiled and Mary jumped up and ran to him, giving him a hug. He looked at Fliss who wiped her eyes.
“Ok?” he mouthed at her and she nodded back, her lips moving silently as she replied.
“Tell you later.”
“BBQ is lit.” Frank said, looking down at Mary “You still wanna play in the pool?”
She nodded and grinned. “Yeah.”
“Sounds like a great idea.” Fliss grinned “Let’s lock up and head home…oh wait, we don’t need to head home because…” “We’re already there!” Mary grinned, and then she spun round to see Fred peering round the door. “Hey, look who came to visit!” “Bout time he earned his keep.” Frank grumbled “Go catch some mice.”
Fred stalked past him into the office, looked around, before he sauntered back out, clearly not interested.
“He’s a lover not a killer Frank.” Mary grinned, as Frank watched the cat walk off into the evening sun.
The three of them locked up before they headed back to the house and Mary shot upstairs to get changed.
“So, how much did you hear?” Fliss turned to Frank as he pulled a beer from the fridge along with a bottle of water, sliding it over to her.
“Enough.” he sighed “Her teacher collared me before. Said that one of the kids had asked about her mom in class and she’d gotten upset.”
“She asked me why Diane did what she did.” Fliss sighed, “Why she left her behind if she loved her so much.”
Frank swallowed. “What did you say?”
“I explained about why I tried to kill myself.” Fliss shrugged “Told her about the desperation I felt…but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love my family just that I saw it as my only way out. I know it was heavy and maybe not really the right thing to do but...”
She was cut off as Frank stepped forward, taking her face in his hands as he kissed her, hard. It took her a moment to catch up but once she did she melted into him, her mouth opening to grant him access as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip.
“Thank you.” He said gently as he pulled away, his hands still cupping her face.
“What for?” Fliss asked, reaching up to gently wrap her fingers around his wrists.
“For loving her as much as you do.” he shrugged. “For loving us both as much as you do.”
“Oh, Sailor.” Fliss’ eyes brimmed with tears “How could I not?”
***** Frank didn’t sleep particularly well that night. Mary’s conversation with Fliss was running through his brain and every time he drifted off he would wake about an hour or so later, fresh worries and concerns running through his mind. In the end, at just before 5 am he gave up and climbed out of bed. He grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweats and putting them on he headed downstairs. He flipped on the TV in the hope the early morning new would distract him, but it didn’t.
It was clear to him that Mary was struggling with where she was going to fit in the family dynamic. He hadn’t really worried much up to that point, being convinced by Fliss that if they kept her involved with stuff to do with Bean she would be ok but this went much deeper than the fact they were expecting a baby.
He’d be lying if he said the thought of him claiming to be Mary’s Father had never entered his mind. It would have been a lot easier but out of loyalty and love to Diane he had wanted to make sure she knew about her mother, and understood the truth because in the end, a lie would always come round to bite you on the ass. It wasn’t that he had a problem with people assuming he was Mary’s father but…
God what a fucking mess.
“Hey…” a soft voice drew him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Fliss stood in the doorway, his T-shirt she was wearing now hardly covered the top of her thighs thanks to her Bean bump.
“Sorry beautiful, did I wake you?” he asked.
“No.” she shook her head, dropping down next to him. “I got up to pee and you were gone.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” he shrugged.
“What’s wrong handsome?”  she lay her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath.
“Just thinking about Mary that’s all.” he shrugged. “She’s always asked questions about Diane but not like that.”
“She’s getting older Frank.” Fliss said, her hand reaching out for his as she began to play with his fingers “She’s bound to start thinking about things differently. She was ok last night after she talked to me, and then later you when you tucked her in. She doesn’t keep her feelings bottled up, and that’s good. It’s a testament to you that she feels like she can talk to us about things.”
“I know.” Frank looked down at her, kissing her head “I guess I just worry Lissy, worry about how she’s gonna feel when Bean is here and he’s calling us mom and dad and she doesn’t.”
“Frank.” Fliss sighed as she sat up straight. “Mary knows we love her. And what she calls us doesn’t change a damned thing. You’re worrying unduly now. We can’t do anything about that other than-“
“Yes, yes we could.” Frank looked at her. Fliss took a deep breath as his eyes locked onto hers, instantly understanding.
“I thought you said you’d never even consider adopting her?”
“I never thought I would.” he shrugged. “But it’s been playing on my mind after what mother said and then after last night…” “Why? What did Evelyn say?” Fliss asked.
“When she was here last, she told me that Diane’s memory wouldn’t suddenly fade if Mary called me dad…” he licked his lips “It was almost like she was giving me permission to do it…you know? Not that I need it or really give a shit what she thinks.” he paused, taking a deep breath “If I’m totally honest Diane isn’t the only reason I said I didn’t want to. I just never thought of myself as being dad material. I was such a screw up until I met you and I thought that by staying as her Uncle, it would give her that distance, you know?”
“Not dad material?” Fliss looked at him, shaking her head “Oh Frank, you idiot. You’ve done an amazing job with her…and you will do with Bean too.”
He smiled at her, sniffing slightly as she continued.
“But there is one person who’s opinion counts most here.” Fliss said gently “And that’s Mary. If you’re serious then you should ask her if it’s what she wants. Because after 9 years of calling you Frank…”
“I know.” Frank agreed, “And I agree, completely. It would have to be her decision. But at least if I ask her if she would like us to then-“
“Us?” Fliss looked at him, blinking. “You mean you want me to?”
“Of course I do.” Frank nodded, before he frowned slightly “But if that isn’t what you want, I understand. It’s a big-“ Fliss cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips “Of course I do Frank. I love Mary like she is my own anyway so…” Frank beamed at her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. “So, we’re agreed. We ask her?”
Fliss nodded and pulled back, her hand resting on his cheek. “We ask her.”
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Chapter 8
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daantaat · 3 years
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twu s2 thoughts even though nobody asked <3 just a brain dump and it’s quite long so I tried to separate my commentary by categories but it’s still a mess unfortunately. Spoilers under the cut!
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General
Overall, I enjoyed season 1 more than season 2. I’ve watched season 2 three times now, and I do think it had some good parts that I definitely overlooked during my first watch (probably because I was preoccupied with Charlotte x Shona 😶😅). My initial reaction to this season was like ‘hmm so that happened and I’m not sure what to think’ but then I rewatched it and tbh I think my complaints are mostly to do with the time jump between seasons and the pacing...
Like yeah there’s only so much to touch on in six 25-minute episodes but!!! I finished the season wanting a bit more, because I thought that some of the things that were introduced were either not explained fully/well or they just dropped off completely and didn’t really have an effect other than me asking questions after the season was over, like it felt as though there were missing scenes— more on that later (though maybe they will be addressed in season 3??? If there is one? How soon do shows get renewed? Idk). Though I guess the audience does have to do some interpretation of their own but still... Idk! Idk. And the assumption that certain events/plot points mentioned in a character’s dialogue would be enough for context had me kinda “:///” y’know? Like don’t tell me, show me?? I’d like the full course please!!
Charlotte x Shona (+ Vish I guess)
I think it was really jarring to see their relationship grow from colleague/business partners to friends and then finally to something more in season 1 only to see them awkwardly handle their unresolved feelings in the workplace with nothing to show for their actual relationship besides a mention of “a week-long gay safari” + the brief flashes of a sex scene that was intermingled with Shona and Vish’s cyber sex session, which in itself is 😐😐😐 like yes it shows that Shona still thinks about/fancies Charlotte in some capacity, but if I were to choose between that sex fantasy/flashback or a flashback of Charlotte and Shona together (like Charlotte telling Shona she was falling for her!!!!)... I think I’d choose the latter? I was just disappointed that we didn’t really get to see Charlotte and Shona being all cute and romantic with each other this season :(
ALSO I wished we got to see more of jealous!Shona; I was super hyped to see that since that scene was included in the trailer. It was nice to see her want the best for Charlotte because she’s “great” but the jealousy part of knowing Charlotte is dating someone great got settled pretty quickly and instead we got Shona evaluating her commitment to Vish and considering the idea of having kids after learning she has a womb of a 39-year-old (😐) and it felt.... like a lot!! It was definitely different from season 1 Shona (”I actually don’t want kids” “I genuinely, I genuinely don’t, you know, it’s not a big deal. Just never have” in 1x04) but if this was to show her dealing with comphet or internalized homophobia or just simply running away from her feelings then... idk what to think of it! I really don’t. I think this is where things could have been written differently because using an affair with Charlotte like that (an affair that we didn’t even get to see besides the stolen kisses at the finance event) was so... ugh, I’m suffering here
Anyway, I think their office scenes were definitely highlights of the season, like Indira and Sharon really gave those scenes their all!! Even though it hurts to see Charlotte so heartbroken and Shona running away from her feelings and hurting Charlotte in the process, I live for the angst lol. I will say though, the 180 that happened after their convo outside Charlotte’s office was a bit “🤔” considering Charlotte had talked to her therapist about Shona for 4 months. Like one hungover feeling dump from Shona and they can move on? Hmm communication is connection, huh. And I guess they were just excited that the article got good results? But how cute that they got each other gifts of their picture in the article??? Wtffff I love my “unfunny and obvious” gal pals even though I’m in pain
As for the voice note... omg, so many questions. Like did Charlotte try to reach out to Shona after she abruptly ended their call to check if she sent the voice note to Vish?? Was that gonna be the first time Charlotte heard Shona say “I love you” to her? What was the reason Shona said “I love you” anyway??? Is she, you know 👀 Also do y’all think Vish will listen to the entire voice note since it was clear it was meant for Charlotte? And who knows maybe Vish’s phone died and he can’t turn it back on or check his WhatsApp or whatever. I’m in denial lmao. But also I think he's a pretty good guy, like when he sent biscuits over to the house when Shona wanted some and him saying what’s the point of having fun in New York when she's not there with him... :/ but he was also a bit weird about her putting a nail in a wall or leaving out the egg duck or whatever as a display item in their house though I suppose that’s not a huge problem so like idk man idk!!! I'm just saying season 3 better not have a time jump I need to see what happens and not just in exposition
Shona and Aine
Love them :) I wish they had more scenes together (if that's possible??) but I liked the somewhat change in dynamic seeing Aine a bit worried about Shona (asking her if she’s okay when she mentions she’s thinking of getting a fringe lmao and again asking if she’s okay when they’re unpacking in Vish’s house). And of course Shona is still very protective and worrisome but seeing Aine just miserably lounging around her apartment over the weekend and getting in her bike accident after Shona wasn’t too supportive of her and James’s business idea made me so sad :( like Shona was so shitty about her not typing up everything in the notes for the meeting! And not even reading James's CV... big yikes. Anyway I thought it was odd that we didn’t get a follow up on the voice note Aine left Shona after getting into the bike accident... like she sounded soooo shaky and out of it :((( what luck Shona was sick and didn’t see Aine with a missing tooth before she got it fixed
Anyhow, Aine was right when she said Shona needs to talk to her and talk about her feelings more!! AND this is part of where my complaint about the pacing and the missing scenes comes into play! I think we should have seen Aine and Shona fighting about Shona’s affair and leaving Vish the voice note. The audience knows Aine cares about Vish and I’m not entirely sure where her relationship with Charlotte stands since Charlotte told Freddie about her being in rehab (on the assumption that he knew, as Aine’s ex-boyfriend) but!!! Just cutting to them on the floor waiting for Vish’s flight to land was not as hard hitting as it could have been
Aine x Bradley (+ Richard)
OKAYYY. Cute!!! I definitely overlooked the signs during my first watch here but yeah they were definitely there during my rewatch(es)!! I quite liked seeing Bradley try to get Aine to stop talking negatively about herself and just try to treat herself better in general like exercising and actually eating off of a plate :’) and the comparisons between Bradley and Richard have me like 👀📝 Bradley saying he likes how much Aine talks vs. Richard’s friend Mark saying she talks a lot and how he wasn’t expecting a whole show to which Richard replies he thought that at first too but she “calms down” like brooo... alright. Anyway Bradley going with her to Tom’s funeral/service made sense since he actually met Tom (though Aine did vaguely talk about him and his drinking problem to Richard in 1x05) and the fact that she told Bradley about PACT and her time there but she didn’t tell Richard (to be fair she was thinking about telling him) hmm 👀 Also Bradley saying “Sometimes it would just be nice to be with someone you could just relax with as yourself” yeah I’m on board with them
Loneliness, COVID, Communication is Connection
Initially I thought these themes could have come across a little stronger but after rewatching... hmm. Yes, Shona was lonely in the house by herself; she even asked Anil to stay for dinner, had her own “pile of shit” boyfriend on her bed (which she did clear off), and told Vish that nobody had time for her. Also after the business meeting she asked Aine what she was doing during the weekend (which Aine also spent alone anyway), but I dunno... oh yeah her hen/bachelorette party was a bit lonely since places were starting to go into lockdown and not everybody could attend, but I think the COVID element entered a bit too late into this season? I’m not sure it really added much in terms of the loneliness. Maybe it did add to the uncertainty of things though
“Communication is Connection” was there but I thought it kind of fell flat as well, but maybe that was the intention— to highlight the mess that a lack of communication can cause? Shona apparently writing off Charlotte’s feelings and them not necessarily talking about their relationship/feelings until their convo outside Charlotte’s office... Shona talking to Seema saying she’s never really asked what Vish wanted (regarding kids) and Seema saying that’s a convo for her and Vish to have... Aine not telling Richard she overheard him and Mark talking about her... Richard not consulting Aine about telling Etienne about them and just getting a new tutor for him... hmm. What does it mean. What does it all mean
Other stuff I’m still thinking about/have questions about
Shona mentioning it’s “annoying” how Aine talks like she’s the only person to ever get sad in episode 1 but still telling Aine she’s fine and then in episode 6 Shona saying she only has two emotions or whatever so she doesn’t need to talk to Aine about her feelings as much -____- istg we need to get Shona to talk to a therapist in season 3!!!
I also liked that Shona, Aine, and Eileen talked more. I’m still a little disappointed that the fact Eileen leaving Shona for three months when she was a baby was not mentioned at all. Yeah it was a secret but when Eileen said “well, you should never lie. You’ll always get caught out.” I— HELLO? If anything, that secret seeing daylight could have had something to do with Shona's sadness + loneliness this season. Also could you imagine that becoming a fear of Shona’s, like what if she doesn’t want kids because she’s afraid of doing the same thing to hers if she has any??
Jim asking Charlotte if she’s straight and Shona immediately going “what does that have to do with anything” or something like that and apologizing to Charlotte after Jim left— I’m not sure how I should have read that??? Did Shona mention to Jim that Charlotte is a lesbian?? When he started to ask, he was still looking at Shona (yeah I’m reading too much into this I know)
Marcia figuring out that Aine and Richard were seeing each other (after he touched her hand on his way out to get a taxi)— what was the purpose? Other than Marcia obviously feeling bad for Etienne, whom I assume she sees as a son of her own (based on the Mom Instinct™ snooping when she was doing housekeeping + her convo with Aine when he came back from France). She didn’t talk to either Aine or Richard about it, just told Aine to have a good time when they were leaving the house to go to their “separate” events. I guess it wasn't her place to say anything, but hm. Speaking of Etienne, it was obvious he had a schoolboy crush on Aine (or at least he was vying for her attention) in season 1 and it’s really too bad we didn’t get to see his reaction to suddenly getting a new tutor or dealing with Aine and Richard’s relationship other than him looking at them hugging while the new tutor was teaching him. He deserved some more screen time this season :(
Hmm so that was all very incoherent but if you made it this far thank youuu <3 here are some last silly comments:
Absolutely loved Julie!! I want to know what she knows about Charlotte and Shona 👀 girl give me the scoop on the last 4 months at the office
Super sad we didn’t get to see Charlotte’s cat (I’m always gonna be vocal about this 🗣🗣🗣) or know who her new girlfriend was but at the very least we were introduced to one of the most important side characters of all: Charlotte’s stompy boots <33333 she really wore those around the office with a blazer/blouse/leather skirt! We love that lesbian attire
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schrijverr · 3 years
Text
'Till Death Do Us Part
Part 13 out of 13
When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.
A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.
On AO3.
Ships: Jamilton
Warnings: very very brief mentions of death
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 13: Lesser Celandine Means ‘Joys to Come’
The nine-year-old bounded out before Alex and Thomas through the botanical garden. They had been living together for about three years already and life was treating them right.
Both still worked for Washington, they still argued about small stuff – which they claimed were discussions in good faith and their friends called bickering like a married couple – and Philip was doing well in school.
They had fallen into a routine together that the versions of themselves from five years ago could have never pictured. As much as they started as jagged edges running along each other, they now found themselves puzzle pieces fitting together.
It was early May and one of the first few beautiful days of the month after a lot of rain, so the three had decided to go to the botanical garden nearby.
However, Alex didn’t know that Thomas and Philip were in on a plot together, a plot to do with a little box in Thomas’s pocket.
Philip pointed at a cactus and yelled: “Look, it got spikes!”
“I can see that, kiddo,” Thomas called out to him, “Can it flower?”
After reading the little sign for a moment, Philip pouted and yelled back: “No.”
“That’s a pity,” Thomas said, then called out: “This one here had beautiful peach colored flowers, if you want to see.”
“That’s not peach,” Alex butted in.
“Yes, it is,” Thomas retorted.
“No, it’s obviously orange.”
“What do you think orange looks like?” Thomas sounded more distressed than anything.
If Alex looked again, he could see that it was indeed peach and the lighting had made it appear more orange than it actually was, but now he had taken a stance. So, he said: “Kind of like that, though I will give you that it’s light orange.”
“Peach is pastel orange, you know that right?” Thomas said.
“So, then I’m right and it’s orange,” Alex shrugged.
“No, because there are many shades of orange and this particular one is peach,” Thomas sounded frustrated.
“I don’t know, Tom,” Alex made a great show of observing the peach colored flower, “If I look at it now, it looks more like apricot.”
“Peach is the lighter and pastel version apricot,” Thomas exclaimed, “The difference is literally super small, but I know my colors and this is lighter than apricot, okay. It’s peach.”
Alex grinned at him and the realization dawned, Thomas tiredly stated: “You’re just doing this to fuck with me.”
“You know me so well,” Alex smirked.
From between them, Philip spoke up: “I think it looks pretty.”
“It does,” Alex agreed, before reading the signs and saying: “Oeh, there’s a butterfly greenhouse, we should go.”
Thomas took Philip’s hand and offered Alex his arm: “Lead the way, darlin’.”
In the butterfly greenhouse they marveled at the butterflies fluttering around. Alex looked mostly up, but Thomas and Philip made sure to read each sign, since they had agreed on a certainflower for it to happen.
When they walked past a particular patch of flowers, Thomas got distracted by Alex, who gasped when a butterfly landed on his face. He grinned at Thomas, who snapped a picture. Then Philip elbowed him in the side and pointed at a sign.
They found it.
Philip quietly retreated to the background with the camera, while Thomas squatted and pretended to read the little sign.
He hummed and read: “Lesser Celandine, or Ficaria verna. Classified as a noxious weed, since it flowers before much of the native fauna, establishing dominance over native species.”
Alex stopped looking up and inspected the small yellow flowers. He hummed: “Interesting, what made that flower catch you eye?”
“Well,” Thomas said, here it was, “I happen to know their meaning.”
“Is that so?” Alex asked, suspicion creeping into his voice.
“Yes, they mean ‘joys to come’,” Thomas shifted and reached into his pocket, “And I was wondering if you would want to explore all of the joys in the world with me.”
Gasping Alex looked at him with wide eyes, completely speechless.
“We’ve been through so much together,” Thomas went on, “You gave me so much more than I’d ever thought I’d have. So, Alexander, will you marry me?”
Alex didn’t care that he looked like the ultimate gay stereotype as he fanned his hands in excitement, tears in his eyes as he nodded and chocked out: “Yes!”
Thomas grinned and took out the ring to slip on Alex’s finger. Philip ran up behind him, camera still in hand as he threw his arms around Thomas’s neck, still at the perfect height from where he was knelt and babbled: “You said yes, right, Papa? You and Da are getting married!”
“I did, Pip,” Alex grinned, admiring the simple band with purple stone, “And I suppose you were in on it, little rascal.”
“Of course,” Philip smiled toothily as Thomas stood up, lifting Philip in a piggy back, “Da had to ask someone for your hand.”
“You asked Pip for permission?” Alex laughed.
Thomas shrugged: “Seemed the best option. I felt like he should get a say.”
“And I knew who he could trust,” Philip added.
“Oh yeah?” Alex asked, amused.
“Hm-hm,” Philip nodded.
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed, “It was smart to not involve Laf in this, just Eliza.”
“Dork,” Alex rolled his eyes, but he knew Eliza still had his ring size from when he and her went to find rings for his wedding to John.
“But I’m your dork,” Thomas informed him, “And you’ve just agreed to that being permanent, so I feel like that’s more on you than on me.”
“You’re insufferable,” was Alex’s reply, but they all saw he couldn't stop smiling.
“I know,” Thomas agreed, putting Philip down.
Alex pulled him into a kiss, while Pip made slight gagging noises that they both ignored. When they pulled apart, Alex whispered against his lips: “This was perfect, you’re perfect. Thank you.”
“Charmer.”
“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone!” Alex gushed. He had been the one to ask John, so he never got the excitement of sharing, just the stress of asking. The novelty of this new feeling, making him even more excited about it.
Thomas smiled at him, love filled eyes. Alex didn’t even know how beautiful he looked right now, basked in sunlight with butterflies fluttering around him as his eyes sparkled and his smile tried to break his face in two.
He kissed him.
“What was that for?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Who’s the charmer now?” Alex teased.
“Da, Da, did you show him your ring?” Philip tugged on Thomas’s hand.
“I hope you don’t mind that I got myself one, I just had an idea,” Thomas shrugged, when he saw Alex’s quirked brow.
“I helped pick!” Philip told him proudly.
“Really?”
“Jup,” Thomas confirmed as he showed him the ring. It was identical to Alex’s, except that the stone was green instead of purple. Thomas said: “You know, those few years ago, I thought it was kind of obvious that we wouldn’t like each other, because purple and green are on other sides of the color spectrum, but I had forgotten how well they go together.”
“Only you’d judge people based on their color pallet,” Alex rolled his eyes, but his voice betrayed how touched he was.
“Do you like them?” Philip asked, eyes shining.
“I love them, Pip,” Alex ruffled his hair.
Thomas offered him his arm and that way Alex could look at his own hand, resting on Thomas’s arm with the ring reflecting the light. As they walked through the rest of the garden, Alex missed most of the flowers by being distracted.
That evening they invited their friends for drinks, when they were all sitting around Eliza spoke up, she had been the one involved, so she knew why this was happening: “So, Alex, any reason for the sudden get together?”
Alex grinned at her: “Well, Betsy, there is actually.”
“Is that so?” Eliza smirked.
“Jup, I got some jewelry today,” Alex told her, holding up his hand to show off the ring.
It was quiet for a second, then everyone seemed to make the connection and there was a wall of noise as everyone congratulated them, asked them how or when, as well as demanded to see the rings.
As Laf held their hands to see and compare the rings, he cried: “These are beautiful, but why wasn’t I told.”
“To be fair, I did think about it, but I was warned against it,” Thomas told him.
“Why!” Laf pouted.
“Because you nearly told John, by bursting out in tears when you saw him,” Eliza cut in, “I had to tell him your pet bird back in France died and he looked like him.”
“Oh, so that’s why he gave me a drawing of a bird,” Laf nodded, then moved on, “Anyway, I have grown, I would have been the perfect wingman in this.”
“I think Philip did a great job,” Thomas disagreed, “Right, kiddo?”
“Yeah, I got it on camera,” Philip said proudly, inviting a new round of chaos as everyone demanded to see.
“Ahw, ‘Lexi, you cried,” Angelica cooed, teasingly.
“I didn’t,” Alex huffed.
Herc looked at the video again and said: “Well, man, it kinda looks like you did.”
“Give me that,” Alex studied it, “No, maybe there was a bit of moist happening, but I feel like that’s more all the pollen in the air. We were in a big garden after all.”
“First of, using moist and grossing everyone out isn’t working,” Peggy said, “Second of, you fucking cried, just admit it.”
“I will agree to teary eyed, but no more,” Alex told her.
“Alright, Mr. Teary Eyed Little Baby Man,” Peggy rolled her eyes.
“Now that’s just plain rude,” Alex pouted.
“No,” James said, from where he had gotten a hold of the recording, “that’s truth, I can see it clearly here in this frame.”
“Gimme,” Lafayette snatched it and snapped a picture of it, “We need to start collecting pictures to show at the wedding.”
“Oh no, you’re all going to be terrible,” Alex whined.
“No, we’re going to be helpful,” Laf corrected.
“I somehow doubt that,” Thomas sided with Alex.
In the end they did have to come back on that. Their friends were absolute champions when it came to wedding planning. Though Thomas and Alex mostly made decisions themselves, the others were all there to give second opinions or double check for them.
They had decided on a late spring/ early summer wedding, so it would take a little less than a year, before they actually got married, but wedding planning took time and Alex took great joy in the word fiance.
Thomas did too, he just didn’t want to admit it.
That summer they arrived in Monticello – as had become tradition – however, instead of the usual greetings, they were met with: “Show us the rings.”
“No, hello, how are you, long time no see, what have you been up to. Of course not, why would they ask about us instead of some shiny pieces of metal,” Thomas grumbled playfully as he and Alex were practically passed around by the family.
Alex just grinned and let them, still amazed by the family he had accumulated.
Thomas had been right back then when he had told Alex that with Ma and Mary on their side everyone was bound to like him too, but Alex had still been nervous each time he met one of Thomas’s siblings. A fear he could now hardly imagine with how comfortable he had gotten in his family, a family he would soon be officially part of.
When he got to Ma, she pulled him into a hug: “I’m so happy for the two of you, son.”
And Alex couldn't do anything, but hug back and say: “Me too, Ma, me too.”
The months came and went and soon they were sending out the wedding invitations out. It was plain white paper, with on the back the date and place as well as the instruction to come dressed in white. While the front bore a poem written in cursive:
let us live like flowers
wild and beautiful
and drenched in sun
e.e.
When the day was there, Alex was stressing in the back of the church, while Thomas was waiting in the front. Alex had offered him the position of walking down the aisle, but Thomas had declined claiming it was too much pressure and that he at least knew what to expect if he got to stand.
Thomas was wearing a beautiful tailored magenta suit made by Hercules as he nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot.
The doors at the back of the church opened and first came the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. All decked out in beautiful white with accents in the colors of the bouquet, as well as flowers in their hair.
It began with Eliza and Maria, after them came James and Angelica, Lafayette and Peggy, Randy and Mary with Herc again roped into the position of flower boy, though he was helped by Kitty and Francie.
Once James, Angie, Laf, Randy and Mary had taken their places behind Thomas and Eliza, Maria Herc and Peggy on Alex’s side, the theme for Alex to walk started to play.
He was given away by Jane, who wore an elegant white 50s style dress, while Alex wore a tightly tailored emerald green suit. His hair was braided with flowers in it matching his bouquet of cluster musk rose, Christmas rose, heliotrope and hawthorn.
From the round window the sun illuminated him and Thomas’s breath caught when he saw him walk. There might have been tears, but that was a whole other thing.
Jane gave his hand to Thomas and smiled at him, before going to take her place in the audience with Kitty and Francie and the rest of the Jefferson clan.
Everyone sat and Washington appeared by Alex and Thomas’s side, ready to ordain them. Before he started Philip came down the aisle carrying the rings. He was dressed in an adorable light blue suit and his hair was tied back with a ribbon in the same color.
After he had given the rings to Washington, he stood next to Alex.
Alex had wanted to make him his best man, but since the best man had to sign as witness and Philip was too small for that, he was the ring bearer and Eliza would sign for Alex and James for Thomas, just like both had done before.
Washington started: “We’re here today to witness the union between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. Before this is officiated, they will say theirvows.”
“Thomas, when I first saw you I thought you were incredibly handsome and a gigantic asshole. One of my assessments has been proven entirely incorrect. You are one of the most kindhearted souls, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting,” Alex began.
He went on: “To me you are laughter over dinner, jokes in the hallways at works, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold like an anchor. You are sparkling eyes with crinkles that paint happiness on your features and a mouth that runs as smart as mine.”
“You know how to argue, but also when to let go,” Alex said, “You keep me on my toes, while knowing I sometimes just need to stand. I claim your arguments are shit and while that can be true, they always make me think and I love that.”
“The way you care for Philip and never asked for more than I could give, made my heart grow so fond of you that I cannot possibly picture a life wherein I do not love you,” he told him, “When I come home and see you there, I feel like I am whole.”
“According to Eliza I can’t force everyone to sit through the hundred pages I had written – even though it’s my wedding – which is rude, so I’ll try to wrap it up,” at that Thomas laughed, he could picture the scenario clearly.
“So, Thomas, you are all the little things that make life great,” Alex said, “No matter what, I want to support you and care for you, because I love you so much that it would hurt if it didn’t feel so right. I love you.”
Both were crying a bit and Alex chocked on the last three words as his hands shook while trying to put the ring on Thomas’s finger.
“Darlin’, you came into my life like a forest fire,” Thomas began, “You burned through all my arguments and notions of the world, like that was what you were meant to do. For a long time I thought you were out of control, but you proved me wrong once again.”
“You see, you’re not a forest fire,” he told Alex, “You’re a bonfire, a hearth in the heart of the home, a central place for family to gather. You make sure to keep the ones you care about warm, to illuminate them and pull them out of the darkness.”
He went on: “I always thought you talked too much, but I now know that for all your words, you know how to listen. Your smile can do as much as your words and you know how far a hug can go. The way you can be so intensely caring for the people you love is breathtaking.”
“I wanted to compare you to a thousand other things, but nothing could fully describe your beauty both within and out, which is incredibly corny, yet completely true,” he chuckled, “Anyway, this is my long winded way of telling you that I love you too.”
Now it was Thomas’s turn to struggle with the ring through the tears while behind them Washington began to speak again: “Alexander Hamilton, do you take Thomas Jefferson to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,‘till death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And Thomas Jefferson, do you take Alexander Hamilton to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish‘till death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then you may now kiss the groom.”
Neither hesitated to kiss the other lovingly, while beside them the church burst out in cheers and applause.
After they broke apart, they waved at everyone as they walked out of the church, with Philip between them.
Outside they took pictures with everyone, since everyone who had come was decked out in white, the three spots of color stood out all the more.
The time came to do one with the entire family, Alex cried again as both his friends and Thomas’s relatives gathered around them. When he had gotten to America he was all alone and then he had lost part of his family again, but now he was surrounded by almost more people than he could count.
They also took one where Thomas carried Alex bridal style, something Alex and John – being around the same height – had both failed at when they had tried at their wedding. Before Thomas could do it, Alex asked with apprehension: “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve done this before, it’ll be fine,” Thomas smiled reassuringly, before literally sweeping Alex off his feet. He informed Alex of that fact and got an annoyed look in return, which was beautifully captured and framed by Angelica for on their desks at work.
The Schuyler sister insisted on taking one with Alex, because he was practically their brother anyways.
They took one with the Washingtons and Jane, a picture in which Alex had never felt so short in his entire life.
Herc and Laf, roped Randy and James into taking a picture where they carried the two groomsmen on their shoulders, something that most definitely went almost wrong on multiple occasions.
However, Alex’s favorite picture was the one where he and Thomas held Philip between them and both kissed a cheek, while Philip beamed.
Later he would hang that picture on the mantle between the other two wedding pictures, finally filling the promise that had been in the empty space.
But for now they went to the wedding venue for the reception.
When they were greeting all the guests at the reception, Burr congratulated themwith Theodosia at his side, little Theo had already disappeared with Philip, Kitty and Francie. He shook Alex’s hand: “Congratulations to both of you.”
“What a nice change to see you both here, you were even at the ceremony,” Alex grinned as he also shook Theodosia’s hand. Her smiling and congratulating them both.
“You’re never letting that go, aren’t you?” Burr sighed tiredly.
“Never,” Alex confirmed, “Good to have you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Burr waved as they disappeared into the crowd.
“What’s the story there?” Thomas asked, leaning in.
“I’ll tell you later,” Alex whispered back, before smiling and greeting the next guests.
Once everyone was there Alex and Thomas got to cut the cake. They had both agreed that neither of them would push cake into the other’s face, which meant that both ended up with cake in their face, naturally.
They mingled until dinner, when it was time for everyone’s speeches.
Thomas’s siblings all had rewritten a song from Thomas’s youth to fit the two of them and preformed it badly, but with a lot of love.
“I don’t know them,” Thomas whispered to Alex when they did that, making Alex laugh.
Jane retold embarrassing childhood from Thomas’s youth while Herc and Peggy had put together a PowerPoint of all Alex’s lowest points college and after.
Highlights included him standing on a table in a bar, tie around his head with a group surrounding him from that time he had attempted a revolution.
There was a picture of him surrounded by empty coffee cups, while he was passed out between them, face covered with sharpie.
Him with a cat on his lap, while he looked very displeased. Herc and Peggy took great joy in explaining why the cat had put that look on Alex’s face.
And it ended with the frozen frame of Alex crying – still claiming misty eyed, Pegs – while Thomas proposed to him, obviously they’d had help from Lafayette, but the Frenchman had an entire speech for them, mostly existing out of ‘I told you so’s.’
Washington had a short heartfelt speech about seeing them grow at work together as well as a few army stories about Alex.
Then Angelica stood up to give a speech: “I have to admit that when Thomas fell onto my couch over fouryears ago proclaiming that he couldn't flirt, I could not have predicted that we would be here now. Naturally I rooted for them, but you have to know that Thomas and Alex could be like water and oil at work, or maybe oil and fire would be a better description.”
A few chuckles from colleagues were heard.
“But here we are and I have seen how much you two have grown together,” Angelica went on, “Did I have to bribe and threaten you both to get that information? Maybe, but I did get to know everything.”
Thomas and Alex laughed at that.
“I remember the little humble beginnings, the tentative flirting, the first dates, the panic, the good times,” Angelica said, “And I knew you both for many years before that, I have seen you both happy and sad. And I am not the poetic one here, but I know what love looks like in your eyes and I can see it on both of your faces.”
She raised her glass: “To the grooms.”
The room echoed.
“From you friend, who is always by your side,” she went on, “To your union.”
“To your union.”
“And the family you have build,” she finished, “May you always be content and satisfied.”
She gave them both a kiss on the cheek and ignored they were all crying before she went back to her seat and Philip got to the front.
With Eliza as hypewoman, he walked in the Schuyler sister’s footsteps with a poem he had written and preformed as a rap:
“My name is Philip, I am poet
I wrote this poem just to show it
And I, can speech fine
You can find family, but you can’t find mine!
I practice French and play kite with my father
I have a Papa, and he’s a great fellow robber
My daddies tying the knot on this day, swank
Un, duex, trois, quatre, cinq!”
Everyone cheered and cooed as he ran into Alex’s arms afterwards and made himself at home on their laps as Eliza said a few words: “Alex is the speech writer between us both while I tell him it can’t be too long, so do not expect essays.”
There were chuckles around the room and Alex rolled his eyes, knowing she added that because she knew he would call her out in his vows, which she had proof read for him many times.
“But I did want to say that you’re a fighter,” she looked at Alex, “You always have been and I can see how much you’ve met your match in Thomas. I’m happy for you both.”
Alex hugged her closely and whispered: “God fucking dammit, Betsy, you’re not allowed to make me cry again on my wedding.”
She whispered back: “Like you weren’t already crying, you big baby.”
“Plausible deniability,” he sniffed.
“We’re filming it,” she smirked, before hugging Thomas as well and patting Philip on his head as she went back to her spot next to Maria.
Lastly, James got up to speak: “I am not a man of many words, so I’m keeping it short,” Thomas smirked and nodded at that, “All the times you annoyed me, Thomas, about what to do, have been worth it to see you so happy again.”
Now it was Thomas’s time to get emotional, hugging James tightly and saying: “I knew you cared,” attempting to tease and obviously failing.
“I know, a shocker,” James pretended it had worked.
After that dinner was served and everyone appreciated the dishes set out. While they ate, the whole room was alight with chatter as people talked, laughed and enjoyed themselves.
When the time came to dance, Thomas lead Alex to the tune of Hozier’s Like Real People Do. It was slightly haunting, but they had picked it, because it fit them so well. The song told the story about the singer recognizing the sadness in his lovers eyes and making them forget, focusing on the now.
As they spun, Thomas looked into Alex’s eyes with that crinkled smile and Alex nearly melted into the floor as he faltered as step.
He unknowingly retaliated, when Thomas picked him up and he beamed down. His braid had loosened slightly and a pluck of hair framed his face, while the lights gave him a halo, causing Thomas to nearly drop him.
Since there wasn’t really a father-daughter dance, Alex danced with Martha Washington, while Thomas danced with Jane. And after that, the two of them danced with Philip, the three of them laughing as they attempted it.
Throughout the night Alex danced with all the Schuyler sisters, Lafayette and Herc, while Thomas was whisked away by his own sister as well as Angelica and Lafayette.
At some point Jane took Alex’s hand and made him dance with her. Once they were on the floor, Alex smiled: “Hey, Ma, enjoying the wedding so far?”
“Immensely, sweetheart,” Jane smiled, patting his cheek, before he spun her.
“You’re an amazing dancer,” he commented.
“I’m spry for my age.”
“What age? You look not a day over thirty,” he grinned.
“Charmer,” she smiled, then said, “But I wanted to properly welcome you to the family. You’ve been a part for a long time, but still, today is a big day.”
She stopped dancing and reached into her purse. Out of it she got an old time watch with a leather arm band. As she handed it to Alex, she said: “When Thomas came out as pan to me, I prepared a wedding gift for all genders, just in case. Martha got my grandmother’s necklace, but this was my late husbands watch.”
“I- I don’t know what to say,” Alex stared at it with big eyes, he’d never had a family item.
“Maybe a thank you,” Jane grinned.
“Yeah, of course, thank you so much,” Alex hugged her, and repeated,“Thank you so much, Ma.”
She patted her cheek when he let go and said: “No problem, you’re one of us now and we don’t let go easily.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Alex smiled.
They parted ways again when the song was over and Thomas appeared at his side: “What was that about?”
Alex showed his wrist: “She gave me this.”
Thomas looked at it, then smiled sadly: “I remember that. It suits you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” Thomas told him, “I also know that Lafayette and Herc are about to do what they’re calling a classic college trick at the chocolate fountain and I need you to either stop them if it’s bad or help them.”
“Oh, definitely helping,” Alex remembered this one, “Grab your phone and film it. We’ll get them back if they ever get married.”
After an eventful night with enough tomfoolery that they were probably permanently banned to ever rent a venue from that company again, they returned home.
Thomas carried Philip to bed, while Alex put away their wedding gifts. When he was done, he joined Thomas’s in Philip’s threshold.
“He’s still so young,” Thomas commented, “But he looks like when I first met him when he sleeps.”
“That’s already so long ago,” Alex hugged Thomas’s arm, leaning heavily on the other man.
“It seems crazy,” Thomas agreed.
Alex hummed, then they stood there in silence, before Alex asked: “Did you have a good day?”
“Of course, I did,” Thomas replied, then after a beat, “Though I am fucking exhausted after this, why did we invite all those people again? I hate talking to people.”
“Because we wanted to actually fill the church,” Alex grinned, “But you’re right, I could sleep for a week.”
“Well, sleeping beauty, you will have to make do to with,” Thomas checked the time, “five whole hours, then we have to catch a plane.”
“Ah, yes,” Alex said, “Paris is waiting.”
“Along with the future.”
“You fucking sap.”
“Excuse you, that’s your fucking forever sap, Mister.”
“Yeah, yeah it is.”
“Who’s the sap now?”
“Oh, shut up,” Alex said, but didn’t protest when Thomas lead him back to their bedroom. They still had a future waiting for them. ‘Till death to them part, after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N:
Today in I try to write a natural time skip between chapters.
Me describing a scene in a botanical garden with one flower as the end goal along with a whole ass wedding with flowers, is such a struggle lmao, but that’s what I get for making flowers important.
Btw the wedding bouquet means charming (cluster musk rose), relieve my anxiety (Christmas rose), devotion/faithfulness (heliotrope) and hope (hawthorn). Fun fact: I wanted to name this chapter after heliotrope at first, but that felt a bit too cliché.
Also the bit of poetry is from ‘i saw you as a flower’I got the book! It’s so cute and I love it, I’ve never been a poetry person, but I’ve always wanted to be, so here’s to me trying stuff :D
I am never getting married for the sole reason that I do not want to write vows ever again.
Also, the wedding bouquet:
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sparring-hyena · 4 years
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Can you write a Becca x mc fanfic about Becca having a amnesia after the accident and not remembering falling in love with mc ? And it would be interesting to see Becca still trying to flirt with Chris among other guys and MC getting all jealous and trying to make Becca fall in love with her again 🤣 you can also turn it into a series I think it might be long if you chose to write it
hi, anon! i love all the angst in this idea, so thanks for sending it my way. also, i don’t know if what i wrote is exactly what you wanted. it does check a lot of the boxes, but i think it might be a bit angstier than you were asking for, so i hope that’s okay. it kinda just happened.
-
-
Alex has found coping with the last four months easier when she doesn’t think too much about it. she thinks about the events that happened, acknowledges their existence, but refuses to go any deeper than that. it’s easier that way.
“have you talked to someone about it?” Abbie asks as they’re walking to the library. one afternoon “a therapist, maybe?”
“my parents suggested it. but, i dunno, it just feels weird,” Alex says.
“that’s fine, but just make sure you aren’t keeping everything bottled up. even writing stuff down might help.”
Alex smiles, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “i’ll give it a go.” she won’t. “thanks.”
they step into the library and find an empty table along one of the walls.
“how is she?” Abbie asks once they’re both settled in.
Alex feels the question pierce her in the heart. “don’t know,” she says quick and empty, making an effort to keep her gaze fixed on the work in front of her.
“she hasn’t reached out to you?”
“no.”
“Alex...” Abbie’s voice is sympathetic as she reaches across the table to place her hand on Alex’s.
Alex pulls away. “it’s fine, Abbie. can we just-- i’d really appreciate it if we didn’t talk about that.”
“of course.”
and Abbie, true to her word, doesn’t bring it up again. they work in a steady silence for most of the afternoon, only parting when the call for food becomes too great.
“are you sure you don’t want to come over for dinner. i know Kaitlyn’s free tonight; we could have a girls’ night.”
“it’s fine. i’d rather try get an early night. thanks though.”
“anytime.”
Alex dreads the idea of being in her apartment alone, but she also knows that she wouldn’t be able to have a girls’ night and pretend that everything’s fine.
she steps onto her floor and doesn’t notice the person standing by her door until she’s only six or seven feet away. her stomach twists itself into knots and her heart thumps dangerously against her ribcage.
“good, you’re home. i was just about to text you,” Becca says.
Alex feels a slither of hope creep into her heart. hope that Becca remembers. hope that they can go back to what they used to be. hope that they can continue to build their life together.
“i found some stuff while i was moving that i think is yours.” Becca picks up a box Alex had completely missed. “Chris mentioned that you don’t have classes this afternoon, so i figured i’d drop them off.”
“oh. that’s um, that’s really nice of you.” Alex takes the box from Becca’s hands. “how are you?”
“fine. the pain’s gone now, so my doctor cleared me to return to normal activity.”
Alex nods and fishes her keys from her pocket. “so you don’t, like, remember anything then?” she tries to be nonchalant as she speaks, though she can tell from the way Becca pauses and looks at her, that any attempt at nonchalance fails.
“the doctor said i might not,” Becca says a moment later, her voice distant. “it’ll be easier if we can both accept that sooner rather than later.”
“i know,” Alex says, turning the key in the lock. “i’ll see you ‘round?”
“maybe not. it might be better if we stayed apart.”
“oh.”
“yeah.” Becca shifts her weight between her feet and looks around the bland and empty hallway they’re standing in. “goodbye, Alex.” she turns on her heels and leaves.
Alex listens to Becca’s footfalls fade as she gets further and further away. an i love you dies on her tongue.
-
it’s five months later when Alex sees Becca again. okay, that’s not totally true. Alex has seen glimpses of Beeca around campus in that time—apparently, her and Chris are close again. Alex decides not to think about what that means. but it’s five months after that conversation in front of Alex’s apartment that they’re in close proximity again.
she’s at a club. Kaitlyn and Abbie had dragged her out.
“just for some fun,” Kaitlyn had said.
“you’ve been cooped up in your apartment every night for months. getting out might do you some good,” Abbie had explained.
and Alex hadn’t had the energy to fight them. so now she’s here. in some club with sticky floors, flashing lights, and music that makes her bones shake. they snagged a booth along the back wall, and it was all going fine. they were talking, laughing, having a fun night, and then Alex had glanced to her right and caught a glimpse of Becca and Chris dancing.
“i’m getting a drink,” Alex says, getting up from the booth without waiting for some kind of answer. she pushes her way through the thick crowd and makes her way to the bar, returning to the booth a few minutes later with five shots of tequila on a tray.
“i dunno if i wanna do shots tonight,” Kaitlyn says as she eyes the tray Alex places on the table.
“good, because these are for me.” and then Alex downs each of the shots.
“maybe ease up a bit,” Abbie says. “it’s still early.”
Alex shrugs and disappears to the dance floor. Kaitlyn and Abbie share a concerned look before following after their friend.
Alex tries to forget about Becca. she really does. but it’s hard to do that when she keeps catching glimpses of Becca dancing with Chris. it’s when she sees Becca lean in close to whisper something in a Chris’ ear that Alex turns back to Kaitlyn and Abbie, and says, “i can’t do this,” and then runs out of the club.
she runs and runs and can hear Kaitlyn and Abbie chasing after her, calling for her to stop. she finally does when she’s a few blocks away from the club.
“what happened in there?” Kaitlyn says, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder.
“i saw her. she’s in there dancing with Chris. Chris. and i know i don’t have any right to be pissed or upset, because we aren’t together, and as far as she can remember, we never were together. but i am pissed and i really just want...” Alex trails off and very nearly collapses on the ground.
“want what?” Abbie says.
“her,” Alex says, voice broken and tears in her eyes. “this was a mistake. i shouldn’t have come out tonight.”
when Alex gets home, she crashes into bed and falls into a restless sleep.
-
Alex closes herself off after that night at the club. she still calls her parents every week. tells them that she’s fine and she’s getting out regularly. she tells her friends that she’s fine, just a lot of assignments to get done. another lie, and a blatant one at that.
it’s a Wednesday night when another change comes. there’s a knock at her door and Alex glances to the clock on the oven. wonders who the hell is at her door at eight o’clock at night. she checks the peep hole and sighs when she sees that each of her friends are standing out in the hall. James and Zig, Kaitlyn and Zack, and Tyler and Abbie. everyone except Becca.
“we know you’re in there, Alex,” James says, not angry or disappointed, just careful and understanding.
“we got you some food,” Kaitlyn this time says, and she even holds up a takeout bag of chinese. she can also see Zig and Zack holding two bags of groceries each.
she lets them. Zig and Zack deposit the groceries in the kitchen and begin putting the food away, and everyone else crowds into the livingroom.
they talk for an hour. they all get up and say their piece, never accusing Alex of doing something wrong. and by the time nine o’clock rolls around, the chinese has been eaten and her friends have convinced Alex to go to dinner at Tyler and Abbie’s on Saturday night.
“Chris, can you hang back for a sec?” Alex says just as everyone is filing out.
Chris smiles and nods. the others leave and then it’s just them left standing in Alex’s too small livingroom. she has no idea what her plan is now that she’s alone with Chris. there’s stuff she wants to say, but she knows she has no real right to. that doesn’t stop her from asking one thing. “please don’t date her. i know you two dated and then i started dating her, so i really have no right to ask that of you. but please... don’t date her.”
Chris smiles, warm and sincere. “i wasn’t going to,” he says, and then he opens his arms for a hug.
Alex easily steps into the embrace and is so glad they stayed friends. they’re so much better as friends.
“we’re only friends,” he says. “she’s just confused about everything and needs someone to talk to. believe me, she’s hurting just as much as you, she’s just doesn’t know it.”
Alex pulls away from the hug and offers Chris a genuine smile as she wipes away the tears she didn’t realise were pooling around her eyes.
“she’s your girl, Alex.”
“no she’s not.” that nearly kills Alex to say, but it’s the truth. the sooner she accepts that, the better. “but thanks anyway.”
-
Alex doesn’t know why she’s surprised to see Becca at dinner on Saturday night. she’s their friend. it’s good that she came, and it makes Alex smile knowing that Becca hasn’t been totally alone through all of this.
it’s awkward at first. they wind up in the kitchen together, alone, when Abbie ducks out quickly to use the bathroom. they just make small talk until Abbie comes back, and Alex hates that this is what their relationship has been reduced to.
they don’t sit together for dinner though, and Alex counts that as both a blessing and a curse. because she knows that had things been different, they’d have sat beside each other, Alex’s arm thrown over the back of Becca’s chair, and Becca’s hand resting on Alex’s thigh.
and then the night just sort of ends. people leave in pairs or groups of threes, and perhaps by some strange bout of luck, Alex and Becca leave together. it’s completely unintentional, and from the looks Tyler and Abbie are giving her, Alex knows that all she’d have to do is ask, and one of them would walk out with them.
but she doesn’t ask. she doesn’t need to. she’s an adult. she and Becca can ride the elevator to the ground floor and walk out of the building together.
neither of them say a single word for the whole elevator ride. it’s only when they’re standing out on the street, about to go their separate ways, that Becca says something. “kiss me.”
and Alex had absolutely not been expecting that. she stammers out a response: “what?”
“i know you heard me.”
“yeah, but, why?”
“because you love me. and i may not know why you do or how that even happened, but the point is that you do. so show me that you love me, and kiss me.”
Alex can’t really help herself, because Becca looks nothing short of stunning standing in the glow of the street light. and Becca’s asking her to. so she has permission. she’s allowed to kiss her. so she does.
it’s the same but it’s not the same. she tastes the same, smells the same, even kisses the same. but it’s not the same. it’s not the same because they don’t share those important memories--that first time in the sorority, the spring fling, their dates at Uskea, all the nights in each other’s rooms, the whole of last year. they don’t share any of that.
Alex breaks the kiss. “i’m sorry, i can’t. this— it wouldn’t be fair. for you or for me.” she turns away, ready to leave and salvage whatever she can of herself when she gets home.
and then Becca grabs her hand, pulls her back, and kisses her again. and it’s exactly the same as the kiss they just shared, and yet it’s so damn different. Becca’s kissing her like she's desperate, like she’s making up for lost time. then Becca slides her hands down Alex’s back and into the back pockets of her jeans to pull her a little bit closer.
Alex pulls away in surprise, because this is her Becca. the Becca who calls her a dork and a cheeseball, the Becca who slow dances with Alex in the kitchen, and the Becca who slides her hands into Alex’s back pockets when they kiss.
“why’d you pull away?” Becca says, like she’s oblivious to what just happened. but the smile on her face tells Alex that she knows.
“you remember.”
“of course, i remember. how could i not remember after a kiss like that?”
Alex launches herself at Becca and pulls her into a hug. “i love you so much.”
“i love you too.” Becca squeezes back just as tight.
“we have to tell the others,” Alex says, pulling away to look at Becca again. “they’ll be so happy that you remember.”
“i have a better idea. let’s have one last night where this” —Becca gestures to herself and Alex— “is just ours. no pressure or expectations from everyone else. it’s just you and me. what’d you say, for old times’ sake?”
Alex grabs Becca’s hand with a smile and leads her away.
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stray-tori · 4 years
Text
TPN S02E09 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)
[ Reaction video w/ captions/subs ] we collectively have a breakdown about the pen, please enjoy it pff-
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... hmmm... yeah I... ain’t feeling it. I think my tpn feelings overall are carrying this more than anything pff. I didn’t hate it, it was just...... mediocre... like if this wasn’t tpn, I probably would have dropped it at this point.
BUT IT IS TPN SO LET’S GIVE SOME THOUGHTS.
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. Random thoughts I don’t want to re-arrange
when Emma was like “share your pain with us!!”, I liked how Norman turned to Ray like “Ray. help. tell her I’m right” kind of like Ray did in s1 pfff-
Norman cried the words he didn’t allow himself to say in s1 :( I’M EMOTIONAL. it might not be the icing on the cake execution wise but GOD MY HEART. And knowing he’s going to die to it’s just- (well not if the pen has something to say about it but more about that later)
where- wheres my trio hug :((( RAY HUG THE CHILD NOW
it’s interesting that while Emma got the entire emotional speech spotlight, only Ray got a reaction shot to “I won’t live long”?? equivalent.... exchange...?
I thought Norman had a seizure when he broke down in front of Emma and Ray and I kinda wish he had because while it’s good to have him say it outright (a win for communicationnn), imagine THE ANGST. “I want to live with yo- *coughs up fountains of blood*”.
So. yknow that hideout Cislo or Vincent referenced when talking to Emma and Ray. Yknow where Norman hid the children they stole from farms, making it look like demons did it? ... w-what about them? will we see them? Are they getting left behind? it would have worked for Norman’s plan, since all they had to do was stay put and wait for demons to be yeeted. But now... he’d have to take them all too. But... I doubt we’re gonna introduce a bunch of new designs and characters? Or are we? Who knows. I don’t. I have unreasonably amount of protecc feelings for those children I’ve never even seen haha- WHERE ARE THEY. I mean... the plan rn is to immediately use the gate right? or is the plan to eradicte the GF farm staff and higher ups? I guess if thats the plan it might work. Or I guess the plan is to save Phil for now???
the idea of Sonju just... slicing his arm and throwing it at demons in a loop sounds so funny to me please someone make that.
I liked that Mujika turned to the lambda kids after giving a cup to the demon children but then we didn’t see their reaction or anything and then it cuts to the temple??? that was weird. was there sth missing there? confusion.
I also like Isabella remarking "[a radio] was supposed to be there" regarding the shelter, because it further heavily implies they know of the shelters and just let them be. Which further confirms that they should have just reframed the shelter and had the kids escape from it quickly but oH WELL.
I really liked demon Emma apologizing and Norman's reaction to that. it was a sweet little moment and like, the realization of apologizing for something that she didn't do but is aware of and all that. Cycle of hatred and all that shiz hell ye. Ik the anime won't rly delve into that but I kind of relish in the angst potential of the village - sure it was undone but some were still eaten and died and transforming people back won't bring those back. So, that’s some hella terrifying implications for families; and I'm assuming Norman is aware of those so. guilt time! not that he wasn't aware it was bad but yeah- I teared up at that moment :<<
I feel like this season really does its best when it’s doing the whole two worlds/species angle. Mujika and Sonju, the village, demon and human Emma... all that stuff.
I wish we had gotten more time (god this is really the season’s downfall) thought to see Vylk talk to the GF kids more often. it’s implied he told them not to hang out there before but I would have liked to have him show up a few more times before that but yeah. Runtime very RIP.
I also feel like CW is bending over backwards to put cliffhangers at the end of episodes. that was already a problem in s1 when they had Phil come in when Don and Gilda were in Isabella's room. it was obvious it'd be a copout but they still did it. I'm just wondering why we had to have Vincent disagree with the group to this extend (and if the shock value might play a part in that). we have 2 more episodes, why are they introducing more plot threads? Just streamline it you dofuses. I just don't know what good can come of it unless it's like an ultra big brain move to help them?? (and then we're back with the forcing cliffhangers thing) - if it's actual conflict, this'll just make things more confusing and clustered, and we don't have time for that right now imo. But who knows maybe it plays into something I just don't understand yet and it'll work out somehow
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. Animation flow kinda dead.
I felt like this episode was kind of... awkwardly executed whenever something that was a slightly dynamic movement happened?
The whole bit while Emma is walking up to Norman could have been better, but it’s passable, except that a lot is spelled out for us.
But then she takes his hand really weirdly in a far away shot with bad inbetween timing?? what is that haha-
Or him collapsing is cut really weirdly. you barely really see it, you just kinda piece it together from Emma’s reaction and her catching him.
Most facial expressions are good though, which is arguably the more important part in this scene. I feel like a better execution just would have elevated it even more.
The only one I felt was really awkward in its entirety is Barbara’s scene with the children demons. I felt like that was in particular kind of stiff and the cut between the child and her was too sudden and felt jarring. TPN anime doesn’t really do that sort of stuff a lot, so imo it’s kind of “??” when they do it. With Norman it was too, but that at least had a good transition over to it (with bg and fg panning) and nice animation. Barbara’s just kind of switched. Tbh don’t switch it out, and as the child screams, switch over to her facial expression as her own voice fades into the scream? I think that would have done it too and also be low effort.
I think it’s moreso the flow of the shots than the actual shots though? it’s a bit too fast paced and sometimes missing inbetweens (like the wild demon eating sonju’s hand is literally just 2 frames) - it’s very weird. It’s jarring, but I can’t really explain why.
I’m sorry for the staff, I’m sure the production hasn’t been easy. maybe with the bluray release we’ll get some updated animations/inbetweens.
Some appreciation though:
as mentioned, most of the facial expressions, even if the body language was a bit stiff.
the cut from the trio talking to the eye-transition of the demon and the following breath animation looked nice. Also his arm regenerating!
Sonju smirking as he cuts his arm off, what a bastard
they didn’t have to show Vylk’s arm regenerating casually while they’re talking but they did.
.
. the lambda crew
If only I cared about you guys. Hahhh it’s just... introducing characters so close to the end is just. A mess. A recipe for disaster.
Where has the anime’s “show off the younger kids” angle gone? I thought they were always pretty good at that. but they haven’t really contributed anything since the whole tidbit about the older children always eating less for them. And even then it was just Lani and Thoma.
Potentially, what segments we saw in the shelter will come back for the GF raid thematically but I’m just... EH?
.
. the cure pen
at this point, just stick a syringe part at the end of the stick and just inject it and it’s gonna solve everything probably.
I just don’t understand why that needed to happen. Assuming they go to the human world, it’d be perfectly acceptable for me for medicine to be so advanced that it’d be able to like, lessen their symptoms and significantly improve their lifespan.
Don’t just... REMOVE their struggles. It’s okay to not be normal and cured. it’s okay for their lives to be impacted by it going forward. In fact, I’d much prefer that.
(added in later) OH wait they literally spell out why the cure being in the pen is meaningful - because it opens up a path where they can live through not having annihilated all the demons - it's essentially the moral "reward" for not killing them. Since they probably wouldn't have gotten it if they did that. I still think it wasn't needed and the blueprint on its own would suffice for another pen-convinience moment but I kind of get what they're going for, I just don't think it's worth it . In their case, going to the human world (while they don't know it) means having more medical expertise at their disposal which they can then use to survive. UNLESS they're actually not welcome over there and have to hide or something, in that case... that might be hard, true. I guess I'll come back to think about this once it's over. For now, it feels kind of unearned and it wouldn’t even have to be this way in my eyes which makes it somewhat worse.
But good, let’s say in-universe you need it NOW, then at least don’t put??? the medicine??? recipe??? INTO the hologram.
What if they just checked the GF blueprint and Norman goes “hey, Vincent... do you think this [database/archive room] could have some data on our experiments?” - Norman said he tried to develop a drug to help them but the supporters who had that data were purged. but... they had Smee to help them too. But SOMEHOW, a dude from 15 years ago just HAS the cure??? (at least let Norman develop it himself and have the data be just THE DATA and not the recipe).
It might still check out somewhat??
15+ years ago, James Ratri was assumingly still the gatekeeper since the switch to Peter seems somewhat recent considering his big "era of James has ended" speech.
I guess the implication is that just like Smee => Krone => Norman, a supporter all that time ago gave random person the pen when they escaped.
When Vylk found him, he also had just the data medium of the pen (not the entire pen), so maybe the farm thought they eliminated it and that’s why they didn’t change their methods to not work with those drugs anymore? It's still a bit curious that their experimentation hasn't changed at all in 15 years but maybe that's because they keep killing the smart people instead of making them scientists to research for them :D
Somewhere since those 15 years, Smee gave Krone the pen (probably a few years before she got to GF?), which means that at that point the gate the keyword "future" sent them to, was still in tact when Smee gave Krone the pen. Maybe WM wasn't discovered yet at that point?
then WM got discovered, James was chased. He made that phonecall update and was probably eventually killed, along with the human location (and likely bunkers since they knew a radio was supposed to be there, begs the question why they didn't remove it) being discovered (the one with the future keyword) and the gate there being destroyed.
The problem is just that it can make sense when you think about it for way too long and assume things in good-faith, but it still feels unearned.
Maybe I would care more or this would feel a little more earned if we knew ANYTHING about that person? They seemed fairly young, so it’s probably not Minerva/James Ratri. The “hope” talk reminded me of the book in the shelter, but I’m not sure if that checks out either? The cookies were rotten but not completely. I know cookies hold out relatively long, but would they rly not be completely rotten after 15 years? I MEAN. Maybe not. Who knows. I tried to google it but didn’t find anything. 
But anyway. That tidbit is going into my “shelter kids OC project” I guess.
But even if the worldbuilding makes sense, I think the data set in itself makes little sense?? How did they find that pen part? Did a supporter give it to them? Why do they have the cure? Clearly their group of escapees wasn’t doing too hot (#help) and they seemed relatively young too so they probably couldn’t have worked in the farm.
Were the shelter escapees lambda escapees? but if that was the case, wouldn’t the WM group have secured the cure information more properly than in just one pen (maybe it was and those were just destroyed, to be fair) - it’s just WEIRD to put the cure for Lambda experiments on the same blueprint as the GF layout??? that makes so little sense.
Plus, why would you send them to GF, when it’s so secured and all that, and not just send them to the human support place our GF kids were sent with the “future” keyword, which had a gate. Maybe it didn’t exist 15 years ago (that the humans had control over it, that is), but even then it seems weird to me to imply to send them to GF instead of one of the other gates that existed. I mean. The “future” location’s gate wasn’t destroyed when Krone got the pen right?
I’m guessing maybe it was meant as help for escaping? But then again, why the cure? I guess if they met lambda experiments? I’m just confused.
Also: do we just accept that the layout of GUARDS and SECURITY MEASURES has not changed in 15 years???
.
*sigh* welp. Still looking forward to seeing some stuff with Isabella hopefully. Time... is not on their side and it shows. Neither run-time wise nor production wise.
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maticide666 · 3 years
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my eurovision top 39 songs (finally)
anyway i finally got my top 39 completed. under a read more because it can get kinda long with the commentary i added klfdja;sflk (and by that i mean VERY long, maybe a wall of text if i have a lot to say about the song.)
none of this takes rehearsals into account.
basically, 39-37 i don't like, 36-35 are meh, 34-25 are decent, 24-18 are good, 17-12 i enjoy listening to a lot, 11-4 i love, and I would pay for votes for top 3 if i could.
39. Azerbaijan - Efendi - Mata Hari - Honestly, I kinda want to like this song. The instrumentation is nice, especially with the Azeri instruments. Efendi's vocals are ok during the verses. However, her vocals during the MA-MA-MA-MATA HARI part makes this song utterly unlistenable for me. It is just so distracting and ear-grating. Not great for my sensitive ears. And that is without taking anything else into account.
38. Estonia - Uku Suviste - The Lucky One - For some reason reminds me of a boring modern country song. Bland af. At least the melody of the chorus is nice.
37. Cyprus - Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Discount Lady Gaga at the best points of this song. Feels like three songs at once. Also, the lyrics seem like they just went all "What Spanish-sounding words sound spicy? Taco? Tamale? Mamacita?" As a Spanish speaker and as someone of Mexican descent who enjoys those foods, this annoys the living shit out of me. At least I can make El Diablo/Fallen Angel memes out of this. (Honestly, I don't mind the gratuitous Spanish with the words El Diablo.) Also, this song got real old real quick.
36. Slovenia - Ana Soklič - Amen - The gospel vibe is nice, but there is just too much Christianity in it for me to enjoy this song. Sorry, Ana.
35. Moldova - Natalia Gordienko - Sugar - Sounds like a sugary version of Siren Song by MARUV. Kinda boring, but enjoyable in the right circumstances.
34. Georgia - Tornike Kipiani - You - Good to listen to when mind feels blank. At first I kinda liked this song, but nowadays this song has lost its charm. This won't sound out of place alongside boring 70s slow classic rock songs.
33. Austria - Vincent Bueno - Amen - Not something I would listen to regularly, but still nice. For me, easily the biggest downgrade from 2020.
32. Greece - Stefania - Last Dance - Pleasant to listen to, not much else.
31. Portugal - The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Good song, but not my cup of tea. Unfortunately, some great songs have to be near the bottom of my ranking.
30. Germany - Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate - A fun song to listen to. The novelty wears off after a while. The feel good vibes and ukulele are nice.
29. Israel - Eden Alene - Set Me Free - the song release version was bland and boring, but the revamp. Now THAT is good stuff. The song doesn't seem so empty anymore. I miss the key change from the original, though.
28. Spain - Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - A very emotional and beautiful song from Spain. Again, not usually my cup of tea. However, the melody somehow gives me a nostalgic vibe.
27. North Macedonia - Vasil - Here I Stand - DAMN Vasil has a lovely voice. Nice that he's showing it off here. Too slow of a song for me to enjoy regularly, though.
26. Albania - Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - I don't have much to say other than this song is nice.
25. Bulgaria - VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Pleasant to listen to, but depending on my mood I think this is a beautiful song but not my cup of tea or a complete snoozefest.
24. Serbia - Hurricane - Loco Loco - Fun song, but it feels like something is lacking, and I can't quite put my finger on it.
23. San Marino - Senhit - Adrenalina - Once the initial hype from Flo Rida being on the song died down, this became another typical Eurovision bop.
22. Sweden - Tusse - Voices - At first I thought the song was completely unremarkable and couldn't understand how this won Melodifestivalen. Nowadays it's a nice song to chill to. I gotta respect a perfect televote score from the national final.
21. Ireland - Lesley Roy - MAPS - nice.
20. Croatia - Albina - Tick Tock - Grew on me slightly. Shoutout for including a verse in Croatian.
19. Switzerland - Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers - Another grower for me. Doesn't hit as hard as his song from last year, but I dig it.
18. France - Barbara Pravi - Voilà - Lovely chanson right here. I wish it didn't take forever to pick up, though. I was about to completely give up on this song in the middle of my first listen. I'm glad I didn't.
17. Belgium - Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place - Classy. Not much else to say.
16. Ukraine - Go-A - Shum - I'd definitely go rave to this song. I kept finding this song hard to rank due to the white voice. I couldn't decide if I absolutely adored it or if I found it grating. Maybe I just wasn't feeling well when I first thought about it.
15. Lithuania - The Roop - Discoteque - Lots of fun, doesn't have the charm that On Fire had last year. I would dance to this song.
14. Poland - RAFAŁ - The Ride - I actually kinda like this song???? Even with Rafal's vocals??? I know he has political controversies, but I can't help but think this song is nice. A better, less controversial singer would benefit this song, though. I'm not counting the revamp just yet since it was released too recently.
13. Latvia - Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising - This song gives me nostalgic mid to late 2000s hip hop vibes. The guitars in this song are lovely.
12. Romania - ROXEN - Amnesia - Definitely something that can put me in a trance if I'm in the right mood.
11. Czechia - Benny Cristo - omaga - Nice, catchy, I would dance to this.
10. Malta - Destiny - Je Me Casse - Damn, Destiny has a lovely voice! And the song itself is wonderful. I'm not a fan of the amount of Swedish talent being used instead of Maltese talent, but I really do enjoy listening to this.
9. Denmark - Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden - another really fun song! This really grew on me. Nowadays if I want to listen to a Eurovision song, this is one of the first songs I think of.
8. The Netherlands - Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age - I can vibe with this. You can hear the passion in this song. I wish I could let my body do the talking right now, but y'all can't see that with just a tumblr text post.
7. Russia - Manizha - Russian Woman - I was NOT expecting this to come out of Russia when it won the national final. I wasn't expecting to like this either. The message is great, the instrumental is great, everything about this is brilliant.
6. United Kingdom - James Newman - Embers - A funky song. I LOVE James's voice. Massive upgrade from last year in my opinion. I'm a sucker for brass in an upbeat song. Unfortunately, I have had the staging kinda spoiled and I am VERY skeptical about this coming out of bottom five. I'm done with the BBC.
5. Australia - Montaigne - Technicolour - There is a Lot happening in this song and I am all in for it. I'm kinda terrible at parsing lyrics, but it's a non-issue when I can follow Montaigne's voice and forget about the lyrics. Ironically enough, it's Montaigne's voice that also worries me this Eurovision season - mostly whether she was able to pull off her live on tape performance off.
4. Iceland - Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - I didn't think Daði could pull it off against this year, but he did it. I like this just a little more than Think About Things, which was my favorite song last year. I'm still a little gutted that this pandemic robbed him of a probable victory, but I've made peace with it. I still need to learn the dance moves, though.
3. Italy - Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - FUCK YEAH A KICKASS ROCK SONG IN EUROVISION! This song gave me massive rock en español vibes on my fist listen, and honestly this is something I would bang my head to if I had the same body I did when I was 15.
2. Norway - TIX - Fallen Angel - I was not expecting to like this song much, let alone becoming THIS obsessed with TIX. In fact, he wasn't even on my radar for winning MGP. I listened to Ut Av Mørket for the first time and thought something like 'this is boring af, but at least it's in Norwegian'. And then he changed it to English, which I wasn't a fan of at first. And then one day the lyrics clicked - especially with my own struggles with mental illness. To this day this is one of only two Eurovision songs to actually make me cry. Even now he still isn't my MGP winner (that honor goes to JORN), but he has definitely won my heart.
1. Finland - Blind Channel - Dark Side - To say that this song kicks ass would be an understatement for me. This song has just the right mix of rock, pop, and even metal. Ever since I found out that this song would be in the national final, I knew that it would be my favorite this whole Eurovision season regardless of who won UMK. Yes, my jaw dropped when I saw the lead Blind Channel had in UMK. I literally cancelled my plans to watch the MGP final live because of these guys. I am not disappointed. Even Måneskin couldn't bring these guys down in my ranking. And while the lyrics might be a bit iffy, they did get me through rough times. I hope these guys are able to bring rock music back like they want to. But for now, I will give them my (useless tbh) douze points.
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melchron · 4 years
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Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts
I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.
I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!
I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!
I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.
THE DRILL PRESSES!!
LEX AND ETHAN
I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.
Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.
WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!
That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!
KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.
Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig
UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!
Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.
I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.
Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?
TONY GREEN
Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.
Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.
Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy
Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl
JAIME IS JANE
OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.
Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.
Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.
GREENPEACE GIRL
Tom does look like a creep ngl
Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.
No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.
Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP
Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.
Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.
I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.
Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.
Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?
Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.
DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?
Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?
This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.
KENDALL'S SINGING
I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet
Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.
JAIME'S RANGE OMG
"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?
DON'T GIVE HER BEER
Duke seems chill. I like him.
LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!
Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?
Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?
How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.
Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been
Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES
How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!
Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.
OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.
Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.
There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.
Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.
THE STARLIGHT THEATER
Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.
CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.
"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.
WIGGLY
What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?
Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.
Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!
Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.
HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE
But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.
DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!
Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down
YAY MORE DOLLS
NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL
Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.
ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.
MARIAH IS WEBBY
This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.
So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.
Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.
Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.
MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK
AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF
This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.
I love this episode.
Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.
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Riding On Ch7: Home, Sweet Home!
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Summary: Frank and Fliss find their perfect family home, but there’s something bothering Mary.
Warnings: Bad Language words. Discussions about suicide. A little bit of angst.
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is a bit of an emotionally charged filler chapter…and we move time on a little through to June in the middle. And photos of the Adler house are included so you can visualise what I used for inspiration! Chapter Song: Kill For A Dream by Beady Eye
Series Masterlist //  WIYPT Masterlist
You’re giving it another try, staring at the deep blue sky, and you say to the driver just drive, coz you never felt so alive.
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April 2019
“Hey honey, you ok?” Frank juggled his phone, pinning it between his ear and his shoulder as he leaned over his computer in the office, scanning the database on the screen for a filter part they needed to order.
“No, I mean yes! I’ve just heard some awesome news!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, so you remember the guy that bought the house that backs onto the yard when Old Man River died…” “That wasn’t his name.” Frank chuckled “It was Mr Morris.”
“He called himself River, it was funny and suited him. Anyway, that’s not the point. You know the guy who bought it…guess what I found out before?”
Frank stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He didn’t like that dick, one bit. When Mr Morris had died at the start of the year, Fliss had been quite upset about the news as the old man had been very friendly to her, often popping in for a cup of tea a few afternoons a week for some company. Mr Morris’ son had sold the house without them even knowing it had gone on the market, which was a shame as it would have been perfect for them given the location. The guy who had bought it, Frank didn’t even know his name, nor did he care because he was a douchebag and a pervert to boot. The way he looked at Fliss made Frank want to punch his face in.
“What’s Douchey Mc Douchebag done now?”
“You’re so childish.” she scoffed “Anyway, I was only commenting to Joanne last night that we haven’t seen him for like a month and she went home and mentioned it to her dad who works with some other guy in the property development business and the long and short of it is he’s gone bankrupt Frank!”
Frank laughed loudly “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, babe!”
“I know right!” Fliss voice was gathering pace and pitch, the way it always did when she was excited. “So literally about half hour after she’s told me this, someone turns up and there’s a For Sale sign outside, the house is on the market!”
Ok now he was interested. Frank could picture the look of excitement on her face as she spoke to him and he felt the smile cross his face “No shit?”
“Yeah, I’ll send you the website to look at the photos but…oh God, it would be perfect! Some of it is really nice, some of it needs decorating but…” “Ok, well, why don’t you call the realtor? Arrange a viewing” he said “Hopefully you won’t puke halfway round this one.” “Ok, first off that wasn’t my fault. Bean objected to the smell. Who the fuck cooks eggs the day they know they have someone coming to view their house?” her indignant tone made Frank chuckle “And second off…”she paused “I already did. He said he can meet us at half 12.”
“Half 12? As in lunch time? Today?” Frank frowned.
“I know I just really don’t want to miss out on this one Frank, and you said you were gonna come up here for lunch and-”
“Ok, ok.” Frank sighed “I’ll shuffle some stuff around, work a little later tonight and take an extra half hour.”
“I love you.” she replied and he could hear the smile in her voice.
“Good job I love you too.” he said back gruffly “Because you’re a pain in my ass.”
He bid her goodbye and just as he was looking at the rota to make sure there were enough staff in to cope if he took a longer lunch, his phone beeped. He clicked through to the link Fliss had sent him and had a scan through the photos. To be fair the house didn’t look in too bad condition. It was deceptive from the outside, looked like a small farmhouse but they knew thanks to the extension Douchebag had put on the back it now formed an L shape and from the look of it, was pretty spacious. The kitchen was new, the main bathroom was new so the big work looked like it had been mostly done. The décor in some of the rooms was really old fashioned, especially the hallway you and the front reception room, but that was all cosmetic. What really grabbed him was the price. It was up for just over 320 thousand, which was a fucking steal considering the size, location, the garden and the garge/outhouse it came with.
“You ok Frank?”
He looked up and smiled as Alan, his boss walked in to the office. “Yeah, sorry, Fliss has found a house and managed to book a viewing for lunch time. Fucking 7th one in 2 weeks.”
Alan snorted “Keeping you on your toes I see?”
“Well I gotta say, this one’s looking pretty good. It’s the house that backs onto our Yard out in Pinellas Park.” Frank explained “It was sold not even 6 months ago to a developer and he’s apparently gone bankrupt so put it back on the market.”
“Huh.” Alan smiled “Sounds like it was meant to be. Take it you’re going then?”
“Yeah, Charlie and Gary are in all afternoon. I thought I could take an extra half hour, work it back tonight or…” “Frank, when was the last time you actually took a full hour for your lunch and didn’t cut it short by 10 or 15?” Alan looked at him.
Frank hesitated “Yeah, but that’s-”
“No buts.” Alan shook his head. “Do what you gotta do.”
“Thanks Alan.” Frank smiled, “I appreciate it.”
Alan waved away his gratitude before he dropped into the chair on the opposite side of Frank’s small desk and gestured for Frank to sit down.
“I wanted to talk to you in person.” Alan said, “Before the news gets out. I’m looking at retiring Frank, fully this time.”
“That’s good news, for you I mean.” Frank smiled, taking his seat. “You must be happy?”
“Kinda bitter sweet.” he shrugged “But I hit 70 this year and bout time I let it all go. Bill’s already chomping at the bit to book damned fishing trips so...it’ll be nice to step back. But I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Shoot.”
“My son, James is going to be taking over, that won’t come as any surprise to you as you’ve seen him knocking around a bit and he likes you.”
“Good to know I’m not going to be out on my ass.” Frank smiled, breathing out a little.
“No, not a chance. I wouldn’t allow it.” Alan said “I’ll still be the owner, just stepping back from major decision making and day to day running. Anyway, the point is Frank, James needs a deputy. He is young and a little inexperienced. I’ve seen how quickly over the last year you’ve picked up rotas, staffing issues, dealt with the stock takes, haggled with the supply chain…I wondered if you’d consider it.”
Frank blinked “You wanna make me deputy manager?”
“In a word, yes. And I know you got your hands full at the moment and they’ll be even more full when that boy of yours arrives but the changes won’t come into effect until the end of the year so we got plenty of time to work out the details.”
“Wow, I err…” Frank shook his head “I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t need an answer now.” Alan said, “Take some time to consider it. Talk it over with Fliss.”
“I will, I’ll give it some thought.” “Ok, well, that’s all I dropped in for.” Alan said, standing up, groaning a little “Did you just hear my damned knees click?”
Frank laughed and shook his head “No, but to be honest mine click too so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Getting old sucks.” Alan said, shaking his head “I tell ya, the minute I can’t enjoy the simple things in life, put a bullet in my head.”
Frank snorted as Alan shot him a wink and left him to his thoughts.
******* Frank glanced down at the wooden boards beneath his feet in the entrance hall. They were solid old wood, oak he thought, and with a clean and polish would look stunning. He looked up and saw Fliss talking animatedly to the realtor, a young man called David as he nodded and gestured to his left. Fliss opened the door and looked at Frank who followed her into the first reception room. It smelt musty, and there was an old sofa and threadbare carpet in the room but it was light and had a nice, airey feeling to it thanks to the large windows at the front of the house.
“New carpet and a bit of paint…” Frank mused nodding, “Be good as new.”
She nodded eagerly, her eyes shining a she looked around and nodded at the fire place “Really, in Florida?”
“It gets cold, as you know.” he teased “Besides, we just fill it with some of your million candles or whatever…”
She nudged him and they turned around, David watching them.
“So, you’re obviously in the older part of the house that hasn’t really been touched apart from upstairs.” he explained, “But if you follow me I’ll show you the extension which is all new and, well, to be honest, I think it’s stunning.”
The three of them moved back into the hall and through a door at the end which led into a huge open plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen was gorgeous. Sleek white units, modern appliances, marble tops, a huge breakfast bar. Douchebag had clearly spent a fortune doing this up. The floor was a light grey and white laminate which David pointed out was heavy wearing.  To the left of the kitchen area was a huge space where Frank could clearly picture their sofas and TV, and then just off that was a door which led into another smaller reception room, freshly painted and carpeted.  He was just pondering how they could turn that into a play room when Fliss gave a gasp and nudged Frank pointing to the large bay window at the back which had been converted into a seating nook of sorts. They made their way over and saw that the view extended right over their garden highlighting a small pool area which was surrounded by a low set of railings with a gate that were all painted a glossy black. The pool itself was sparklingly clean and clearly brand new.
“Oh wow… “ Fliss mumbled, looking at the sand stone tiles that surrounded the area and the rest of the garden.
“Yeah the rear garden loops in an L round the house” David said. “There’s a larger fence around this area to keep it private and separate from the land at the front that runs flush to the yard area.”
Frank’s hands dropping to her hips as he nodded to the right “Could extend that little patio area for a table and chairs, maybe build a brick BBQ. Couple of sun-loungers for that bit at the back of the pool.”
She nodded eagerly before they headed back into the hallway they’d entered into where the realtor showed them the little room that was to the right as you came in the door which held a number of shelves and coat hooks and a toilet and sink basin. They then headed up stairs to find 4 bedrooms. The master extended down the entire side of the house overlooking the main yard area of Sandybrook. It needed some work, the plaster and paint was peeling away in some areas, but Frank wasn’t worried at that. It was an easy job. What he was pleased to see was that the rest of it was in good condition. There was a brand new en-suite attached to it, housing a toilet, a huge shower and his and hers sinks. The room also had built in wardrobes and huge ceiling to floor bi-folding doors which opened up onto a small balcony. Douchebag had clearly been focussing on the big jobs first before he got into the cosmetics, which Frank had to give him credit for.
The main bathroom was in between the wall of their en-suite and the next bedroom, both situated at the back of the house over the extension and overlooking the fields belonging to the yard. The plaster was fresh in that bedroom but hadn’t been painted, again, not an issue, because Frank knew a certain little miss would be no doubt picking a colour as soon a she spotted this room.
“Bet Mary chooses this one.” Frank said, voicing his thoughts and Fliss nodded, smiling
“I would if the Master didn’t have that en-suite.” she grinned “Look at that view!”
“Yeah, who’d have thought you could work from home in the equestrian business” he chuckled as they then headed to the next bedroom on the opposite side of the landing. This was also rather large, but like the main part of the master bedroom, was clearly one of the original two bedrooms the house had and it needed some updating.
The 4th bedroom was a smaller one up a narrow set of stairs hidden by door in the hallway. It opened up into an attic room which tucked into the roof of the house.
The realtor then led them back down and the out to the outbuildings. There was a huge garage with a half- finished apartment of sorts above it that had been used as storage but could be easily a guest suite if they so wanted,  and then the thing Frank had really loved was the workshop off the side of the garage, accessed by a small door. It was musty and full of crap but was somewhere for him to store all his tools and work on any side projects he decided to pick up.
All in all Frank was finding it pretty damned hard to pick faults in the place.
As they headed back to the main house and Frank asked David politely to give them a moment to look around alone and he nodded eagerly before Frank and Fliss headed back into the house.
“I’m getting good vibes Sailor.” Fliss said as she turned round, looking at the kitchen, once more heading over to the bay window seat, “really good vibes.” she spun back to him and he smiled at the look on her face. “I mean, ok, a few rooms need decorating and there’s some finishing off bits to do all over but it’s nothing that dad can’t help with and I’m sure-“
At that she stopped dead, and gave a little gasp as her hand flew to her bump.
“You ok?” Frank stepped forward.
“Yeah he’s…” she swallowed “Bean’s kicking, Frankie! Quick!”
He reached out with his hand and she took it, pressing it to the side of her bump. After a second or two he felt something wriggle a little under his palm and he looked at Fliss, his face cracking into an open mouthed smile as he felt his son move for the first time.
“Lissy…” he swallowed his eyes misting over. “That’s…oh my God!”
“You should feel it from my POV!” Fliss smiled her own eyes glassy too.
Frank didn’t want to take his hand away. Instead, he kept moving his palm, tracking their baby’s movements when eventually they stopped.
“I think that means BB likes the house.” Fliss looked at him.
Frank scoffed, shaking his head. “BB’s Momma likes the house.”
“Doesn’t his Daddy?” she asked, her hands sliding round his neck.
“Yeah, his Daddy does.” he replied honestly in a low voice as he looked around the large room. “In fact, I like it a lot.”
“You think Mary will?”
“Are you kidding?” Frank snorted “Soon as she sees that view and that pool, she’ll be packing to move in straight away.”
“Suppose there’s only one way to find out.” Fliss smiled.
So they did. They brought Mary back the next day after school. She had squealed at the window seat, yelled about the pool and as she had shot upstairs and headed into the bedroom Frank had predicted she would like, given a jump for joy as she realised from the upstairs she had a view over the tall picket fencing that shielded the private area of the garden.
“I can see Monty!” she gleefully pointed out before turning to Frank and looking at him then to Fliss, her hands on her hips “If you don’t buy this house you’re a pair of dumbasses.”
The same sentiment was echoed by Bill when he turned up fifteen minutes or so later and walked around with Frank whilst Fliss and Mary headed to feed the horses. He did exactly the same thing he had done when they had looked at the apartment, pointed out what they needed to do, how long it should take them to do, rough estimates of cost. Plus, he also reminded Frank they were in a great position. They could buy the place and then give his months’ notice on the apartment meaning they could stay where they were until it was finished.
So that was it. Decision made. The next morning they went in with a cheeky offer, some twenty thou below the asking price which was rejected instantly. Then they upped their offer by five…then an additional three to total eight, with the fact that they were cash buyers and not in a chain a huge bargaining chip.
It was later that evening, just after they had finished dinner when the realtor called back.
“Evening Mr Adler, ok so…I have spoken to the vendor. He says if you can up your offer by another two thousand then you’ve got a deal.” David spoke. At that, Frank let out a huge grin, as he looked out of the kitchen window at Mary and Fliss who were outside the apartment, both sat on a chair round the table. He and Fliss had both agreed they were prepared to go to the full asking price, in their mind it was worth it, but they were about to seal the deal here for ten thousand less.
“Ok, two thousand more.” Frank said, keeping his voice level “But the property comes off the market as we don’t want anyone else spotting it and offering him more before we exchange contracts.” he repeated word for word what Greg had instructed him to do when he had asked him to handle the conveyancing earlier that morning.
“Ok, so the offer on the table is Three-ten on the proviso he grants exclusivity…” David repeated. “Ok, leave it with me.”
Frank finished loading the dishwasher, and had just grabbed himself a beer when David called back not even five minutes later.
“Congratulations Mr Adler, you have a deal.”
He thanked him, and grinning ear to ear headed outside, jumping down the steps onto the lawn.
“What you looking so pleased about?” Fliss looked up at him suspiciously.
“David called… we’ve settled on three-ten plus exclusivity” he smiled
“What, you mean…” Fliss’ mouth fell open and Frank nodded.
“Yup, subject to contracts, the place is ours!”
Mary gave a loud cheer as Fliss jumped up and leapt at him as he smiled, wrapping her in his arms, swinging her up slightly.
“I can’t believe it…” she whispered. “Our own home!”
“I know” he beamed, setting her down as he gave her a quick peck. “I’ll call Greg in the morning. When I talked to him about it he said that with no loans involved it shouldn’t take too long. We could be looking a having the keys in a month.” His hands dropped to her hips, palms resting either side of where his son was growing “So plenty of time to do his nursery.” Fliss grinned and using the arms that were round his neck pulled his face down to hers and pressed a fierce kiss to his mouth. “God I love you.” she mumbled. “Love you too.” he grinned, kissing her again, ignoring Mary’s fake puking noises in the background.
*******
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******
June 2019
“Mr Adler?"
Frank stopped as he had been striding over the yard to collect Mary and turned to see Mrs McCarthy, her teacher walking towards him.
"Hi." He smiled, removing his sunglasses so he could look her in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry to bother you"
"No bother at all." He assured her "is everything OK?"
Mrs McCarthy glanced over to where Mary was stood talking to her friend, Rosie, and turned back to him
"Yes...nothing too drastic but I wanted to make you aware about a little incident in class this afternoon"
Frank looked at her, blinking "incident?"
"Maybe that's the wrong word." The older, blonde woman said "Look, as you know next week it's the end of year Gala, the fundraiser and we invite the parents to join us for activities.”
Frank nodded, wishing the woman would get to the damned point. He was hot, dirty and bothered after an afternoon of helping the team on a particularly awkward repair and wanted nothing more than to stand under a cold shower for an hour and flop down outside with a beer.
"Well, one of the girls asked Mary if she was bringing her mom and if they were making anything for the bake sale and Mary rather bluntly told the girl her mother was dead and then clammed up. She didn't speak a word for the rest of the afternoon."
Frank felt his chest tighten as he looked over at Mary who was now giggling with Rosie and sighed
"She didn't do anything wrong" Mrs McCarthy pressed "I was just a little worried."
"OK...thanks for letting me know, I'll make sure she's ok." Frank assured her.
The woman nodded and headed back across the yard as Frank gave a sharp whistle and slid his aviators back onto his face. Mary looked up and said goodbye to Rosie and came wandering over as Frank waved to Rosie's mom who tossed a hand in greeting in response.
"I'm not Thor" she said, fixing Frank with a stare.
"I know but I couldn't be bothered walking over." He said honestly as they climbed into the truck
"You have a good day?"
"It was OK." She shrugged. Frank eyed her for a second before she pulled the car away from the kerb and set off down the road.
"What's for dinner." Mary asked.
"Steak, baked potatoes and salad." He replies "Fliss' choice."
"Are you grilling?" Mary asked.
"Yup." He nodded
"Cool." Mary nodded "Can I go in the pool before?"
"Got any homework?" Frank countered with another question as he looked at her. Mary shook her head
“End of year next week and Uni didn't give me any summer work."
"Then yeah, of course you can.”
Frank didn't raise the so called incident, deciding to let her chill out a little bit at home first and digest how she felt. After 20 minutes or so of general chat Frank pulled up their driveway and stopped the truck next to Fliss' truck. As they hopped out Mary glanced across the garden over the smaller part of the fence where she could just see Fliss walking across the yard.
"Please can I go see Monty?" She looked at Frank and he nodded.
"I'll watch you." He agreed. With a grin she sprinted over the lawn, climbed over the fence and dropped over onto the other side. Thor gave a bark and Fliss turned round and smiled at her, before she waved at Frank. He waved back before he headed down the side of the house, through the gate in the larger fence before he unlocked the back door and stepped inside the cool air conditioned kitchen, kicking off his shoes and heading straight to the fridge for a beer. Draining half in one he stood, looking around and smiling. They’d finally unpacked the last box yesterday evening and Fliss was still in the process of moving things around their new home, positioning them where she wanted them.
True to Greg’s word, they’d had the keys to the house 4 and a half weeks after making the offer, and 2 weeks post that once the bedrooms and hall had been decorated with a lot of help from Bill, Verity and Roberta (who had been happy for them yet still cried her eyes out when they’d left the park, despite the fact they had assured her they would still come visit and she could also come stay with them too) they’d moved in. The only thing left to do was the reception room (which could wait, it was easy to just shut the door and pretend it didn’t exist) and Bean’s nursery, which he, Fliss and Mary had decided to do together as a project. Mary and Fliss had spent nights pouring over Pinterest for ideas and they’d finally settled on a scheme. Frank had picked up all the plastering supplies and the paint, the furniture was on order and should be arriving at any time that week now he thought about it…so hopefully that weekend they could get cracking. That might cheer Mary up now he thought about it.
Taking his beer with him, he picked up his boots and took them to the cloakroom/bathroom by the stairs. He trudged up the steps, shaking his head at Fred who was led at the top, his paws hanging over the edge of the step as he eyed Frank.
"You're gonna cause a fucking accident." He looked at the ginger cat who merely swished his tail in response. Frank headed into their bedroom, stripping off as he went, walking straight into the en-suite, turning on the shower, setting his beer down on the edge of the sink unit. He stepped in and under the stream of cool water, closing the screen behind him, his mind still on Mary and how he was going to bring up what her teacher has said. With a groan he opened the door, reached out of the cubicle for his beer, took another gulp before he set about washing the grime of the day away.
***** "Have you finished grooming him?" Fliss asked, standing in the doorway to Monty's stable. Mary glanced over from where she had been brushing through his white tail and nodded.
"Wanna take him to the paddock?" Fliss smiled. "Cap and Bronson are waiting for their little pal."
"Sure." Mary shrugged and Fliss frowned a little at her demeanour. She was quiet, which was unlike her when she was round the horses. She was normally full of excitement.
"You OK?" She asked and Mary nodded.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You seem quiet, that's all."
"No, I'm good." She shrugged, before she tossed her brush into the little grooming box she had, closing the lid and passing it to Fliss. Fliss placed the box into the larger wooden one outside the stable before Mary put Monty's halter on and led him out of his stall. Fliss allowed them to walk ahead, her hand on her bump as she followed them out of the yard and down the little path to the gate that led to the paddocks. They reached the one were Monty was going and undoing the gate, Mary led him in. The white pony stood patiently for her to take his halter off before he stuck his nose into the crook of her neck and shoulder. Fliss smiled as Mary gently stroked his neck and then to her utter horror she saw Mary’s shoulders begin to shake as the girl started to cry.
"Hey, Mary..." she soothed, stepping forward as the small girl turned to her, wrapping her arms around her as best she could, pressing her face into her bump "Oh baby what's wrong?"
Mary didn’t reply, instead she continued to sob and Fliss felt powerless to do anything other than wrap her arms around her, one hand resting on her head, the other between her shoulders.
“Something happened at School…” Mary whispered and Fliss gently tipped her head up to look at her. “Someone said something and…”
“Ok, how about we go back to the office and you can tell me all about it ok?”
Mary nodded, sniffing as her sobs died down. Fliss held out her hand and Mary took it and together they headed back down to the yard. Joanne looked at Mary who was hiccupping slightly with her sobs and frowned but Fliss shook her head.
“Can you feed the top barn for me and then you can go.” she said to Jo who nodded. “I’ll lock up.” “Sure, see you tomorrow. Bye Mary.” she smiled. Mary looked at her and gave a small wave before Fliss led her into the office. She grabbed them both an apple juice from the fridge and then Mary sat on the chair at the end of the desk, wiping her eyes with a tissue that Fliss handed her from the box.
“You ready to talk?”
Mary nodded, and then she stood up and walked over to Fliss who made room for her to clamber up onto her lap. It was a bit awkward but after a little shifting around they found a way she could sit unobstructed by Boston Bean and Mary lay her head against Fliss’ shoulder.
“It was about the gala.” she said gently “One of them asked me if my mom was coming and…”
“Oh sweetie.” Fliss sighed, rubbing her back. “I get that must have been hard.”
Mary shrugged “I told them she was dead.” she said matter of factly “I get that and I never knew my mom so I don’t miss her as a person…but then I started to think about why she died and I don’t understand.” “Understand what?”
“Why?” Mary looked at her. “Why would she do what she did when she had me? Why did she want to leave me behind?”
Fliss took a deep breath and cradled the girl as best she could, trying to think of a way to explain to which Mary could relate, and then it came to her, she could use her own experience here. There was no getting around the fact this was going to be a heave conversation, but Mary was a smart kid and deserved to be treated as such.
With another deep inhale, Fliss looked down at her, kissing her head before she opened rather bluntly "You know I tried to kill myself."
"You did?" Mary pulled back to look up at her "Why?"
"Because I saw it as my only way out." Fliss said gently, smoothing her hair back. "I was stuck in an awful situation. My ex-husband hurt me physically and mentally and I gave up. I wanted out."
Mary remained silent and looked at her.
"For someone to get to that point...they have to have hit rock bottom. Like there is nowhere to go. It's not their fault. And it doesn't mean they don't love the people they leave behind just that they're desperate to escape whatever pain they feel, be it in their head or their body or both."
"But I still don't understand." Mary shook her head.
"And you may never, not fully." Fliss said gently "And as horrible as it is that's something you are gonna have to live with but you have to remember that your mom was sick. And for whatever reason she saw this as her only escape. It wasn't Evelyn's fault, it wasn't Frank's fault and it certainly wasn't yours."
"But if she loved me like Frank says she did..."
"You think I don't love my mum? Or Bill? Or Steve?"
Mary blinked before she lay her head back against Fliss' shoulder. "Yeah"
"But I was still gonna leave them behind." Fliss sighed "I was desperate. And you wanna know the real stupid thing?"
"What?"
"When I got better I still went back. I went back to a real toxic environment and a man that abused me. Because I felt like it was what I deserved. And even though I left him way before I met you and Frank, it wasn't until me and Frank started dating that I really understood I wasn't to blame. I always thought I did something to make him hurt me but I didn't. Being with Frank, the way he treats me and loves me made me see that it was him with the problem, not me.”
"But that's different" Mary glanced up
"The trigger was, yes." Fliss nodded "But your mom, like me, was in a position so helpless, so unbelievably sad that she thought she was to blame and that the world, including you, would be better off without her even though she was so wrong."
**** Once showered and dried, Frank dressed in a pair of shorts and clean T-shirt before he headed back downstairs. There was no sign of Fliss or Mary but as he strode out into the garden he heard a car heading down the drive by the side of the house from the yard and correctly assumed it was Joanne leaving for the day. He opened the gate and just saw the tail of her car turn onto the main road as he headed into the garage for the charcoal to light the BBQ.
Once that was done, leaving the flames to die down he headed out across the lawn, vaulting over the small fence onto the yard. He headed round the barn and frowned as he couldn't see anyone. After a quick look round he spotted the door to Fliss' office was closed. He went to open it but stopped as he could hear the sound of voices. It was Mary and Fliss but he could tell from the pitch and stutters in Mary's that she was upset. He paused, hand hovering over the handle as he heard Fliss speaking to her softly. "Stack, you are so loved. Frank loves you, I love you, Nanny V, Poppa Bill, Uncle Steeby, Roberta, Evelyn...Thor, Fred and Monty..." she paused "You're such a special little girl and I know I'm not your mom but...I feel like I am."
"You do?"
"I'd do anything to keep you safe and happy. And so would Frank"
They both fell silent and Frank swallowed, the lump in his throat almost choking him.
"Don't ever feel like we don't" Fliss continued "and if I have to bake 200 fucking cookies for your Gala next week to prove it then I will."
Mary giggles "You know Bean can hear you swearing."
"Well I won't tell Frank if you don't"
"Do you think Frank feels like my dad?" Mary asked a moment later and at that point Frank really wanted to walk away. He couldn't listen to this, he didn't want to listen to this...but something kept him rooted to the spot.
"I know he does." Fliss replied.
"But he doesn't like it when people say it. I know that, I heard him talking to you. Bill’s not your real dad but you still say he is…."
“That’s slightly different sweetheart.” Fliss sighed "My real dad left my mom before I was born, so when he died…I didn’t even know him and I don’t care that I didn’t either. But your mom was Frank's sister. He wants to make sure you remember her, understand who she was. He could have easily just pretended to be your dad all this time, you would never have known any different but he didn't. Because he loves you and your mom too much. He's too honest and it’s important to him that you understand. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you like he is your dad, or that you can't love him like he is."
Frank turned away from the door, looking up at the sky and taking a deep shuddering breath. Fuck, this was hard to hear. He knew Mary had been upset before but the thought that it ran this deep was killing me. Wiping at his face, his hands then dropped to his hips and he looked down at his sneakers before he turned to the door, reaching for the handle but once more pausing as he couldn’t face interrupting them, not whilst they were in the middle of a moment.
“I suppose that makes sense.” Mary continued  “And I do love him like he is. And I love you like you’re my mom too.”
“Well that’s all that matters.” Fliss replied “It may be unconventional but we’re a family, and that’s the main thing huh?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks Lissy.” Mary spoke.
“You’re welcome Stack” Lissy’s voice was soft and there was a pause as Frank could picture the pair of them hugging.
“Hey, did you now I’m going to be doing all the money stuff for the bake stall?” Mary’s voice was suddenly up beat as she switched topic “Because I’m good at maths they said I could be in charge of payments and handing people their change and stuff.”
“Nice work kiddo.” Fliss smiled, “Tell you what, we’ll put Nanny V on the case, her baking is way better than mine. We can get her over one night next week whilst Pops is helping Frank with the plastering in the nursery.”
Ok, that was it, safe to enter without interrupting anything. Frank gave a little knock and then opened the door, fixing a smile on his face.
“Hope I haven’t interrupted any girl talk” he smiled and Mary jumped up and ran to him, giving him a hug. He looked at Fliss who wiped her eyes.
“Ok?” he mouthed at her and she nodded back, her lips moving silently as she replied.
“Tell you later.”
“BBQ is lit.” Frank said, looking down at Mary “You still wanna play in the pool?”
She nodded and grinned. “Yeah.”
“Sounds like a great idea.” Fliss grinned “Let’s lock up and head home…oh wait, we don’t need to head home because…” “We’re already there!” Mary grinned, and then she spun round to see Fred peering round the door. “Hey, look who came to visit!” “Bout time he earned his keep.” Frank grumbled “Go catch some mice.”
Fred stalked past him into the office, looked around, before he sauntered back out, clearly not interested.
“He’s a lover not a killer Frank.” Mary grinned, as Frank watched the cat walk off into the evening sun.
The three of them locked up before they headed back to the house and Mary shot upstairs to get changed.
“So, how much did you hear?” Fliss turned to Frank as he pulled a beer from the fridge along with a bottle of water, sliding it over to her.
“Enough.” he sighed “Her teacher collared me before. Said that one of the kids had asked about her mom in class and she’d gotten upset.”
“She asked me why Diane did what she did.” Fliss sighed, “Why she left her behind if she loved her so much.”
Frank swallowed. “What did you say?”
“I explained about why I tried to kill myself.” Fliss shrugged “Told her about the desperation I felt…but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love my family just that I saw it as my only way out. I know it was heavy and maybe not really the right thing to do but...”
She was cut off as Frank stepped forward, taking her face in his hands as he kissed her, hard. It took her a moment to catch up but once she did she melted into him, her mouth opening to grant him access as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip.
“Thank you.” he said gently as he pulled away, his hands still cupping her face.
“What for?” Fliss asked, reaching up to gently wrap her fingers around his wrists.
“For loving her as much as you do.” he said simply “for loving us both as much as you do.”
“Oh Sailor.” Fliss’ eyes brimmed with tears “How could I not?”
***** Frank didn’t sleep particularly well that night. Mary’s conversation with Fliss was running through his brain and every time he drifted off he would wake about an hour or so later, fresh worries and concerns running through his mind. In the end, at just before 5 am he gave up and climbed out of bed. He grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of sweats and putting them on he headed downstairs. He flipped on the TV in the hope the early morning new would distract him, but it didn’t.
It was clear to him that Mary was struggling with where she was going to fit in the family dynamic. He hadn’t really worried much up to that point, being convinced by Fliss that if they kept her involved with stuff to do with Bean she would be ok but this went much deeper than the fact they were expecting a baby.
He’d be lying if he said the thought of him claiming to be Mary’s Father had never entered his mind. It would have been a lot easier but out of loyalty and love to Diane he had wanted to make sure she knew about her mother, and understood the truth because in the end, a lie would always come round to bite you on the ass. It wasn’t that he had a problem with people assuming he was Mary’s father but…
God what a fucking mess.
“Hey…” a soft voice drew him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Fliss stood in the doorway, his T-shirt she was wearing now hardly covered the top of her thighs thanks to her Bean bump.
“Sorry beautiful, did I wake you?” he asked.
“No.” she shook her head, dropping down next to him. “I got up to pee and you were gone.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” he shrugged.
“What’s wrong handsome?”  she lay her head on his shoulder and he took a deep breath.
“Just thinking about Mary that’s all.” he shrugged. “She’s always asked questions about Diane but not like that.”
“She’s getting older Frank.” Fliss said, her hand reaching out for his as she began to play with his fingers “She’s bound to start thinking about things differently. She was ok last night after she talked to me, and then later you when you tucked her in. She doesn’t keep her feelings bottled up, and that’s good. It’s a testament to you that she feels like she can talk to us about things.”
“I know.” Frank looked down at her, kissing her head “I guess I just worry Lissy, worry about how she’s gonna feel when Bean is here and he’s calling us mom and dad and she doesn’t.”
“Frank.” Fliss sighed as she sat up straight. “Mary knows we love her. And what she calls us doesn’t change a damned thing. You’re worrying unduly now. We can’t do anything about that other than-“
“Yes, yes we could.” Frank looked at her. Fliss took a deep breath as his eyes locked onto hers, instantly understanding.
“I thought you said you’d never even consider adopting her?”
“I never thought I would.” he shrugged. “But it’s been playing on my mind after what mother said and then after last night…” “Why? What did Evelyn say?” Fliss asked.
“When she was here last, she told me that Diane’s memory wouldn’t suddenly fade if Mary called me dad…” he licked his lips “It was almost like she was giving me permission to do it…you know? Not that I need it or really give a shit what she thinks.” he paused, taking a deep breath “If I’m totally honest Diane isn’t the only reason I said I didn’t want to. I just never thought of myself as being dad material. I was such a screw up until I met you and I thought that by staying as her Uncle, it would give her that distance, you know?”
“Not dad material?” Fliss looked at him, shaking her head “Oh Frank, you idiot. You’ve done an amazing job with her…and you will do with Bean too.”
He smiled at her, sniffing slightly as she continued.
“But there is one person who’s opinion counts most here.” Fliss said gently “And that’s Mary. If you’re serious then you should ask her if it’s what she wants. Because after 9 years of calling you Frank…”
“I know.” Frank agreed, “And I agree, completely. It would have to be her decision. But at least if I ask her if she would like us to then-“
“Us?” Fliss looked at him, blinking. “You mean you want me to?”
“Of course I do.” Frank nodded, before he frowned slightly “But if that isn’t what you want, I understand. It’s a big-“ Fliss cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips “Of course I do Frank. I love Mary like she is my own anyway so…” Frank beamed at her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head. “So, we’re agreed. We ask her?”
Fliss nodded and pulled back, her hand resting on his cheek. “We ask her.”
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Text
TGF Thoughts: 5x05-- And the firm had two partners...
Hello and happy season 6 renewal! I think I assumed TGF would last three years when it premiered—not five, and certainly not six (this assumption was because I thought the CBS All Access experiment would fail and it would take three seasons for them to admit defeat). Now, I kinda think TGF might just run as long as the people involved want to do it. The way I’ve come to think of TGF is that, because it has no overarching arc or plot and because it is always topical, it is a show without a clear end point. That’s why it’s still fresh even though it is a spin-off in its fifth season. I could see it still feeling fresh in its tenth season if it continues to evolve and change. Anyway, here’s to season six!  
Thoughts on season five, episode five, which I didn’t really love, under the cut.
The episode kicks off with TikTok and Jay’s hallucinations... yay. I’m hooked.  
Look, before we get further into this episode, I’m going to comment on Jay’s plot as a whole. I am really, really glad this show decided to dedicate screentime to showing how horrific COVID is, and especially how horrific the disparities in treatment by race and class were. The hallucinations pay off about as well as they could. And I still do not like anything about this plot. I wish I could say I did.  
Rivi is now out of the hospital and suing Harbor Hospital. He claims that his daughter died of COVID due to their improper care.  
I’m intrigued by Rivi’s wife. She’s deaf and reads lips, and her first scene—where she reads the lips of Harbor Hospital’s lawyers privately discussing settlement—establishes that she’s a partner to Rivi and not “just a wife.” (I think this is going to also help distinguish Rivi from Bishop. Both care about families, but we all know Bishop had his wife killed.)  
Julius and Diane talk about Kurt’s case. Diane looks incredulous when Julius floats the idea of Kurt taking a deal. I almost laughed at Diane’s expression because, well, she’s talking to Julius, her former client who spent time in prison for something he didn’t do. Luckily the show remembers its history, and Julius notes this to Diane.  
Julius also points out that Diane is acting more like Kurt’s wife than his lawyer in this situation, and he won’t share things that are relevant to her personal life but not her professional life.
I am also not going to recap too much of the COVID stuff. Everything I have to say about it is going to be a variation on what I said above-- I'm glad they’re spotlighting important themes but I still don’t like this plot.
I do like that Jay notices Carmen saying “darn” instead of “damn.” She blames parental training and notes she also starts every email with “Dear.”
I do not like that Jay now hallucinates a woman who is literally credited as “naked woman” to illustrate that he has a little bit of a crush on Carmen.  
Why are they already bringing the suit before they have found any evidence of discrimination at Harbor Hospital and before they’ve looked into what type of care Pia Rivi actually received?  
Jay asks Carmen if she wants to join a group of RL staffers for drinks. Carmen says she’ll think about it. Yay for Carmen plots that bring her into the firm’s social circle.
I also don’t think I’ll have much to say about the Diane and Kurt plot. These FBI investigation plots are always the same: a lot of rehashing of the same fights, lots of new twists and turns where it always feels like the facts are changing, and a clean slate when all is said and done. I was thinking about this the other day and was like, “Ah, wouldn’t it be nice to go back to the good old days before the stakes got so high that the FBI was always investigating one of the regulars”? And then I remembered that season 1 of Wife has a plotline (which ends up being mostly inconsequential) in which the FBI investigate Peter.  
The FBI’s investigation of Peter in season 1 is so inconsequential, in fact, that it brings us Elsbeth’s first appearance and I STILL see people thinking that Executive Order 13224 in season 3 is her first appearance. It is forgettable enough that people manage to forget ELSBETH TASCIONI.
Anyway my point here is just that this feels like familiar territory and until the writers prove to me they have something new to say, about Jan 6 or about the FBI or about Diane and Kurt’s marriage, I... am not that invested.
Julius calls Diane out on being part of every conversation with Kurt. This is a good point. This is something that I would like to see the show address more. Didn’t Kurt ask Diane last episode not to be involved? Why don’t we get to see the fallout of that decision and how it impacts their marriage? I know this show is not character driven in the way I’d like it to be, and I know that is part of why it always feels fresh. It just tries my patience sometimes.  
Diane looks really red in this scene.  
LOL @ the stock footage of an ambulance pulling up in front of Harbor Hospital that clearly says “LOS ANGELES CITY FIRE DEPARTMENT.”  
One problem I have with Jay’s plot in this episode is that it feels very, very similar to the hospital episode of Evil. This is only a problem because the episode of Evil is much better. The hospital episode of Evil uses horror to show racism in the healthcare system; it’s very innovative and suspenseful. This episode wants to do the same thing... but I don’t think the writers found the exact right tone to pull it off. I can see what they are trying to do and admire that they are trying, at least.
I am struggling to articulate why I dislike this plot so much! The best I can say is that something just isn’t clicking. And, honestly, this may just be a problem with how little I’ve ever understood the hype around Jay. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said this before, but the show seems more enamored with Jay than I am, and I’m always at a little bit of a distance from the character. (I suspect it’s an acting thing, not a writing thing.)
There is also just a LOT going on in all of the Jay/hospital scenes, probably more than is needed to get the point across. It’s like the episode can’t decide if it’s all in on being horror, if it’s trying to be surreal, if it’s trying to be quirky, if it’s trying to be heartfelt, if it’s trying to be pointed, or if it’s trying to be about Jay’s emotions. I actually think this plot would’ve worked better if it were a little toned down.  
Starkey is in Diane’s office and it’s time for one of those scenes that happens in all of these FBI plots where the FBI agent is annoying and then the person they’re annoying walks away and is sassy towards the FBI. This scene feels like a mix of the one in the season two premiere where Starkey tries this strategy on Maia and some of the clunkier moments of the TGW series finale.
Danny Pino is on The Good Fight now! I’m excited to see him! He’s super charismatic; I see why they had him playing a politician on BrainDead. On this show, he insists everyone call him Racehorse.  
Racehorse is now representing the hospital, and Carmen is a little outmatched.  
Predictably, Racehorse’s strategy is to try to force Rivi to testify by bringing a countersuit. Testifying is obviously bad for Rivi since he runs a criminal enterprise and would have to answer questions under oath.  
Really long pause before the credits. Also, I don’t like this thing where we don’t get to see Liz until after the credits. I demand more Liz!  
This episode is called “And the firm had two partners” but has nothing to do with Diane and Liz and the drama about who should be a name partner. It barely even has anything to do with Liz! Misleading.  
Yay for Nikki M. James, who directed this episode!
Okay, I saw a post on Reddit about how everyone looks red in this episode and didn’t think anything of it, but on rewatch? That post is spot-on; everyone looks red. The scenes in Diane’s home are particularly bad. Kurt looks like he has an awful sunburn.
I’m glad to see Diane’s home also has a kitchen; I was getting concerned it really was just that one room.
I love Diane and Kurt but sometimes their plots rely too heavily on just being like, she’s a liberal! He's a conservative! Tension ensues!  
This episode is, sadly, Wackner free and very light on Marissa. I am fine without Wackner for an episode (sometimes a break from gimmick is nice) but I really miss Marissa’s energy.  
Diane asks Marissa to investigate something related to Kurt’s case. Marissa’s not thrilled, seeing as she is no longer an investigator and has two other jobs, but she agrees anyway.  
Diane doesn’t learn, does she? Two scenes ago she was apologizing to Kurt for meddling and revealing info he didn’t want her to reveal (the name of the rioter) and now she’s trying to get more information so she can... put herself in a position where she can act on more information Kurt doesn’t want her to act on? Cool.
LIZ!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!
Rivi and Isabel want to talk to Liz without Carmen present. Isabel, wisely, wants Liz to be on the case along with Carmen. Liz protests, but Isabel insists. She notes that she could see some associates using a racial slur against Rivi... and Liz knows she has to join the case to keep Rivi on as a client. She apologizes and then fires all three associates involved in the joke.  
There’s a whole subplot about a doctor who posts TikToks that allege racism at Harbor Hospital, but also silly TikToks to boost her follower count. I do like that they allow this doctor to be both someone who wanted to do good and someone who wanted fame.
After this, though, we lose the thread of the TikTok dancer (and of the COTW, kind of) because the plot becomes more about Jay. That’s fine, though it’s a little bit clunky.  
There’s a reveal that Jay’s hallucination of Frederick Douglass is actually a fellow patient who was in the COVID pit at Harbor Hospital with him. As I said before, this is the best payoff for the hallucinations possible, but there were still too many scenes of the hallucinations.
Wow, I actively do not want to watch these scenes a second time.
NRA lady from the season 2 panel (with Adrian, Mr. Elk, the Florrick fan, etc.) is back. She is friends with Kurt, because of course she is, and could speak up and defend him. She doesn’t want to.  
God, I hope he isn’t fucking her. I can barely do another one of these FBI plots—don't make me sit through another Kurt Likes Pretty Ladies with Guns plot.
Even though NRA lady doesn’t want to speak up, Marissa has followed Kurt and identified her.
More stuff happens with Jay.  
What if the hallucinations don’t end with this episode? I like showing that Jay is a long hauler but omg do I loathe these hallucinations.  
I do like that Jay clues Carmen in on the hallucinations.  
Why is Julius even allowing Diane to tag along on visits to Starkey, and why must this gag with the dead birds keep going?!?  
More Jay stuff.  
I just don’t get why they’re asking about the Pit, where Jay and lots of other black or brown people with COVID were held, before they have any idea where Pia Rivi was held in the hospital. Are they just trying to fact-find?  
Shockingly, Pia Rivi was never sent to the Pit and actually received special care because no one wanted to anger Rivi. I... would have assumed this from the start or looked into this before bringing the suit? I know the whole point of this case is to get to explore Jay’s experience in the hospital and shine light on disparities in healthcare but I can still nitpick!  
Jay recalls hearing someone say that he was taken out of the Pit and given better care after the hospital received a call. He asks Liz if she made that call—she didn’t. She says she wishes it had been her, but she didn’t know the situation was that bad. I’m a little surprised we didn’t get references to Adrian or Marissa here. If they could’ve made a call, they absolutely would’ve. Adrian’s like a father to Jay, and Marissa is a loyal friend. Adrian has enough sway to get Jay better care, and you KNOW Marissa is resourceful and connected enough to get him good care.
I really love this Liz and Carmen scene where Carmen asks Liz for advice and Liz helps her out. I like that Carmen still has things to learn—and knows it—even as she’s a great, capable, talented lawyer.
Carmen starts to leave, then turns around and says, “I want to learn from you. I don’t... My attitude is knowing, but it’s just my attitude. It’s not who I am.” YES! I’m so glad we’re getting lines like this that make Carmen’s personality clearer. She’s not a malicious sociopath who wants to defend drug dealers and help bad people get away with horrible crimes. She’s a new lawyer who wants to be ready to handle anything, make a name for herself, and come across as untouchable. This line makes everything click into place: this is why she’s willing to represent Rivi, put forward her own strategies, and be so polite it's rude to Liz... and why she also would rather stay at RL than go work full time for Lester.  
Liz smiles, realizing she’s gotten through. “Carmen. When I was your age, I acted exactly the same way. I wanted to be perfect. So, I acted like I was perfect. Because bluff is always a part of it, but just... just let me help you, when I can. Ask questions.” I believe it. And now I really just want to see an episode where young Liz and young Alicia face off. My guess is Liz tried to project boldness and fearlessness, while Alicia tried to project hyper competence and that’s why they clashed (and why Alicia was thought to lack a “killer instinct”). Okay, okay, I’ll stop talking about Alicia.  
Racehorse deposes Rivi and it ends with Rivi beating the crap out of Racehorse. I assume this is setting up a longer arc. You don’t introduce a personality as big as Racehorse played by a Kings-favorite like Danny Pino without having plans.  
Also, it’s heavily implied that Isabel is a huge part of the leadership of Rivi’s drug empire. I’m no longer surprised by “actually the wife isn’t so innocent and is also a criminal!” reveals, but I still like this. I think it works better because there’s never any implication that Isabel is an unknowing innocent. Rivi treats her like his equal from their first scene together; she clearly is aware and okay with his prison time and the accusations against him.
We spend a lot of time on how the whole fight was caught on camera. Wonder if that will come back. (I can’t remember—did that accidental sex tape of Maia and the DNC girl ever come back into play?)
Diane threatens NRA lady until she agrees to help Kurt out.  
Jay asks Diane if she made the call to help him. She didn’t. Like Liz, she’s apologetic that it wasn’t her.  
Turns out it was David Lee. He claims it was a business decision. Sure, David. This is so fitting with David Lee’s character—he's always doing stuff like this. And he always likes to say it was about business. I think he secretly has a heart, though.  
(I don’t have much to say about this reveal since it’s familiar territory for David Lee.)  
I like that Jay’s hallucination appears to him as his friend, rather than Frederick Douglass, in his last scene of the episode. I hope that is the end of the hallucination plot.
Kurt gets the news that NRA lady is going to speak up for him. He tells Diane and says “it’s amazing how close we came to disaster right then,” as they have a drink. KURT AND DIANE, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER—IT IS NOT OVER UNTIL IT’S OVER. And this? Is not over! Does anyone really think this is over!? It will be more surprising to me if NRA lady actually follows through and this all gets wrapped up than if there’s a Big Twist.  
I know these writers and I know these arcs. They are meandering and full of twists and turns and add up to a complete picture that doesn’t really hold together. That’s why I’m so negative on this episode even though I’ve been positive on the arc in the past. This feels like the mid-season misdirection that it almost certainly is, and I was hoping this arc would be a little more about commentary and a little less about convoluted plot nonsense.  
Diane and Kurt dancing at the end of the episode HAS to be a reference to Diane and Will’s post-victory dances, right?  
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marauder-exe · 4 years
Text
Nightmare- James potter x Reader
Request: Hi! Can you make a James imagine with the prompts 31 and 32? Thank you!
Prompts: 31.“Your safe here, I got you”
32. “Don't ask her out again, please.. your killing me every single time you ask that Word Count: 1.1k
A/N: italics mean the dream sequence
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‘ As you rounded the corner, quiet as a mouse, only your breathing could be heard. You tried to look for anything, any sign he was still here, any chance he was still alive. This had to be a trick, James was just about to jump out with the rest of the marauders, and announce it was just a prank, it was all just a prank, but of course, that never happened. Then you saw him, possibly the worst sight you've ever seen, the best friend and the love of your life, practically lifeless on the floor. You didn't know what to do you, you froze. How could this happen, just yesterday the marauders where all hanging out together, safe and sound, now he was gone. Thats when it all came out, the screaming, the sobbing.
“JAMES!” You rushed over to him, holding him in your arms, screaming his name. “James please!” You cried. You heard a faint whisper of your name. You cried his name louder and louder.
“(Y/N)! Wake up!” You bolted upright, the sound of James’ morning voice bringing you back to earth, his arms on your shoulders. “Your safe here, I got you” His eyes filled with sorrow and worry.
You looked around to familiarise yourself with your surroundings. You where in the boys dorm room, on the spare bed you usually slept in between James and Sirius’ bed. James was, James was here, he was alive.
“Oh thank god!” You pulled him into a hug, potentially squeezing all the life out of him. Oh you’d never been happier to see that pretty face. At this point you had woke up the entire dorm it you didn't really care, you just continued clinging onto James like your life depended on it.
“Woah Sugar, save that till the boys are asleep” He chuckled. You let out a breathy laugh.
“You guys aren't doing it over there,  are you?” Just as he said that, two pillows hit Padfoot square in the face. “alright alright, you good though?” Sirius asked sincerely.
“Yeah, yeah ill be fine” You gave a weak smile.
“How ‘bout a Hogsmeade date, later today, to cheer you up?” He threw on his classic smirk, You just laughed and shook your head, missing the angry look James shot at Sirius.  You looked over at the clock, 4:45 on a Saturday morning. Great. You probably wouldn't be able to sleep again. James had already returned to his bed after giving you a warming smile, and the rest of the boys had probably gone back to bed. You just stared, stared at the ceiling, at the walls, thinking of what you'd do if James died. Hell, it was too painful to think about. You stared for what felt like hours but in reality, it was probably only 15 minutes.
You snapped out of your daze when you heard James’ voice. “What's on your mind?”. You turned to face his bed, he was already looking.
“Just, how I couldn't do this without you” The biggest smile crept onto his face.
“Come ‘ere”
“What.” This man I swear.
“Come over here, I cant sleep and I know you cant either, cuddling helps sleep.” He paused, “Probably” He gave a goofy grin, oh that smile had a way into your heart. You begrudgingly lifted your, oh so warm blanket, off of your legs, cold feet hitting the wood floor. You trudged over to James bed, he lifted the cover and smiled, you lay down next to him, shifting and getting comfortable. You tensed slightly as he put his arm around you but you soon lay into his warmth. So you lay like that, your heart beating a mile a minute, while being cuddled up with your best friend and the man you've loved for 4 years, and soon you drifted into a peaceful sleep, no more nightmares.
You awoke 6 hours later, sun filtering through the window, landing on James, making him look absolutely ethereal. Man you loved this boy, why couldn't he love you back? His eyes slowly opened and stared at you in adoration.
“Morning love” There was that goofy grin again. “what time is it?” Right you have to act like a functioning human being instead of staring at James all day. You grabbed the clock from his bedside table. “uhhh,, 11am, Wait! 11Am? Were late for breakfast” You both looked around and it seemed all the boys where gone and didn't bother to wake you up. Of course, why would they?
“uh, you can go back to your dorm and get ready if you'd like? Ill tell lily were you were” You tensed up at his mention of lily, you knew they where history, they where over with, but you still couldn't help the pang of jealousy every time he mentioned her.
“Yeah, ill-ill do that” You started to grab your stuff and leave.
“Are you okay? After last night?” You mumbled a quiet yes. “Ill always be here for you” He enveloped you in a hug, you just breathed him in, content. “right, you should get changed, you reeeeek” He thought he was absolutely hilarious, letting out a loud laugh. You just gave an exaggerated ‘hawr, hawr’.
“Bye, Bye, loser, make sure to save me a seat! And with that you left.
Down in the great hall James joined his friends, throwing glares at Sirius. the entire time. He didn't mean to come off as horrible to his best friend, but when he kept going after the woman he's loved for the last 3 years, it kinda stung.
“Where's (Y/N)?” The simple question from Sirius. was enough for jealousy to course through his veins
“What, planning more dates?” Remus chuckled.
“o’ course” He laughed.
The rest of the breakfast was spent in near uncomfortable silence, the rest of the marauders couldnt figure out why there was an air of uneasiness but James knew.
He turned to his best friend, eyes full of hope and sadness.” Pads, don't ask her out again, please… it kills me every single time you ask that.” Sirius could see the pain in his eyes, and instantly wanted to re assure him.
“Don't worry mate, just go get your girl, she's waiting” He chuckled and pointed towards the door with his fork, where you stood, dressed in a beautiful dress ready for Hogsmeade. James leapt up, kissed his best mate on the forehead and sped of down the hall towards you.
Remus, Sirius and Peter all stared on towards him, as he accioed some flowers, and placed one behind your ear, you just shook your head and responded with something they couldn't hear. They looked happy. Genuinely happy.
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steve0discusses · 4 years
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Yugioh Ep 34 S4: The Boys (and Mai) are Back in Town
OK, back to the writing table! It’s been a while! So I made the mistake of like...scrolling down on the playlist when I realized...
This duel is like 6 episodes long (7 even? It’s a lot) and like...yo I have no idea if we’ll finish this season in 2020! Damn you 2020. Damn you.
But wtv, what I like about this side project of mine is that I don’t have to rush things, and I can really spend the time with each episode and just...enjoy the moment. So often I watch a whole series in like half a week and then it’s like...I don’t get to enjoy it. This series I’ve enjoyed for years now. That’s kinda neat. So...we’re gonna be slow...but lets just enjoy this weird ass anime moment together. 2020 deadlines are all fake anyway. I’m not even sure if 2020 was a real thing that happened or like...an alternate universe opening a door and letting through just so many terrible ghosts. We might never know.
Last we left off, everyone has decided to hallucinate Dartz’ terrible backstory.
Unfortunately we have NO darts in the past. Was really hoping to see at least one darts reference in this entire season, just one darts board on his wall. But alas, we will not have a Season Zero death darts match with Dartz. (Man I need to get back to Season Zero. And FMA. And a lot of things)
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I feel like if I watched the original version there would have been some things different. First off...what ocean? Second off...well, we’ll get to that. There’s some things I think were changed for English TV.
Including censoring the nude people like it’s James Cameron’s Avatar.
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Fun fact did you know that James Cameron’s Avatar was supposed to be ass naked and that they were supposed to have like 8 cat nipples? Yeah.
Man, that movie was a mistake. I’m so glad we all decided to collectively forget James Cameron’s Avatar.
(read more under the cut)
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The actual locations of anything in Atlantis does not match up with it when it’s zoomed out. We have giant cities, we have sprawling wheat fields, and we have...THIS situation. This active volcano next to...pine trees?
I feel like they wanted it to feel vaguely Pompeii, since I know people like to put Atlantis in the Mediterranean. Maybe? Maybe that’s what they were going for here?
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One of my top ten favorite Yugioh plot twists ever was finding out this episode that this snake who has no limbs somehow created these...rocks...that all of our main characters have been wearing and obsessing over this entire time.
And so this is my theory, this is the thesis of my Yugioh college paper. These rocks are turds. There’s no way these rocks aren’t turds. There’s no way this snake didn’t poop out a bunch of glowy magic stones and then stuff them into a volcano.
THE ROCKS WERE TURDS THE WHOLE TIME.
God bless, Yugioh.
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Seto spends this entire episode groveling that he isn’t playing cards that will absolutely kill him. Like Mokuba, Seto isn’t happy until he’s cheating death.
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(I really wish we got more super past future tech. I love that type of concept art. Instead, we just got a lot of flying boats--the same boat that I think the team flew on in S1 when they went to Seto’s video game universe.
So those boats are 10,000 years old? They existed in the 10,000 year old Pangea, huh?
Neat.)
Anyway, lets take a gander at Princess Zelda circa Ocarina of Time.
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SUPER princess Zelda, and I know it’s not 1:1 but damn it feels so much like a late 90′s Princess Zelda outfit to me. Check out that PURPLE. That low poly circlet. The random ass sword. The thick ass belt. 
Also check out this super dead family.
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Yo so this is a 00′s thing, a period of time where we liked to tell stories like LOST, with just a bunch of random ass plot twists in flashbacks instead of just...telling a story from start to finish. And can be a great and fun way to do it--but at the sacrifice of actually making me care about these characters while they were still alive.
Like I would have maybe cared about Chris and Ironheart dying if I had known that Dartz was killing his whole family? With...lightning strikes? But alas, these dumbasses decided NOT to tell us they were royal. It’s so strange both from a logical perspective and a storytelling perspective.
Man...missed opportunity, IMO, but I can see why they did it. The wanted the ‘Gotcha!’ I feel ambivalent about it, honestly.
And who am I kidding, people are still doing unpredictable plot twists this. It’s a way to tell a story. Is it the most impactful way? No. It’s...it’s a gotcha!
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It’s at this point in the story that things start ramping up, but it’s not clear if it takes place over years or just a couple hours. People just start going a little cray and turning into Monsters.
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Straight up, though--did they turn into monsters that already existed and are modern Duel Monster cards, or are the monsters from modern Duel Monsters cards actually descendants of Atlantis who were once human?
They don’t say, actually. Maybe...maybe every card was a human once. That would be a freakin weird Yugioh twist if Kuriboh was like a 45 year old dude.
PS Dartz was married...soak that in.
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ROMANCE ON YUGIOH ALERT.
Love it every time. She was there for like...half a second, and Dartz was like throwing so much shade about how “only the people with evil in their hearts were turned” and it’s like...
...dude that’s your wife? OK then. I can see you guys got along real well.
Anyway, so long to the ship of IonaxDartz, you were here for even less than the amount of time that Seto dated Blue Eyes White Dragon in a hallucination, which kind of sets a new record for us.
This might be the shortest-lived ship in all of Yugioh and they have a 12 year old daughter and what I assume was a 12 year marriage for that entire time.
that is if they...HAD the concept of marriage 10,000 years ago on Atlantis Pangea island. Maybe?
I mean they might have not had the concept of dating and marriage yet because he gets over this like immediately. The show will never hover back to that time Dartz watched his own wife turn into a creature. We have no idea if he was like “OK honey lets uh...let just get you a haircut and maybe no one will notice?” We have no idea how long he was desperately trying to remain married to the beast that was no longer human and was also trying to eat everyone else in his court. We just don’t know.
Dartz just had a lot of other things to think about. He’s been King for like...a year...he’s only 21...he’s just doing a bad job at everything.
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(Biden opens Pres Trumps bedroom in the White House come January and it’s juts full of glowing green evil golf balls) (OK that was my last 2020 joke I swear to you) 
Anyway, Dad is here, but it’s a little too late to really do anything with the situation. Everyone is worshiping little snake turds. What can you really do about that?
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One eye golden, the other eye, the color of a glistening Leviathan turd.
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After the rest of the surviving royal family was chased out of the castle, Dartz decides to just wave his hands around a lot.
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I’m not entirely sure what Kings do...never really had one...but I think they’re supposed to do more than wave their hands at a crowd like the Pope. Like...everyone’s dead right? Like everyone?
Who’s he talking to?
Meanwhile, Chris and Ironheart decide to revive some monster tablets to get some real actual duel monsters to do their bidding.
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So apparently some monsters are in the tablets, and other’s have just always been here...and...
They didn’t know violence but they did have the cards?
There’s a lot of vague stuff they didn’t feel like ever writing, because it would have probably been boring to write about. I guess we’ll just let our imagination fill in the rest and ignore all the inconsistencies. It’s a kid’s anime. well........kind of a kid’s anime. A lot of people have died this episode and I don’t even know how to add it to the death count.
How many people live in Atlantis? I dunno.
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Are the inhabitants of Atlantis even dead, or are they just turned into Monster cards? I dunno. Clearly the Great Leviathan wasn’t awoken this first battle so...did all those souls get returned? I dunno.
Either way I’m not gonna bother the death count about it because I just do not know if they died, and since it was neither an implied death or an on screen death...I dunno.
Just feels like a bit of a translation snafu--where maybe they couldn’t kill that many people on English TV, so they were like “AND IT’S A DRAW!” but also...it could be canon to both versions. The leviathan didn’t work the first time, maybe no one died? I dunno.
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In this shot, PS, Raphael just gently backs up out of this flying plane, and it looked really funny to me. I probs won’t cap it because it’s split between two other cuts, but just...they just kind of moved that sprite to the right really slowly, no animation, it was great.
Dartz decides to end the backstory hallucination, and we get introduced to a new twist--a better twist than that last one, that’s right, all our boys are cards!
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Including this asshole!
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Been a while since our boys have been cards! Man, I miss Bakura!
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Yes, I looked back to earlier episodes this season to see what was going on with Pegasus’ new look. I think what happened is that it’s always been this shade of gray purple--but when you put purple next to it’s opposing color (which is yellow colors) it looks even MORE purple. It’s just how color works. Love color theory. mm. Good stuff. Good purple hair.
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I can’t wait until Yami kills Yugi for the 3rd time in one season.
Anyway, that’s all for now, and like always, here’s a link to read these in chrono order.
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kindofwriter · 3 years
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2 and 7!
2. What’s your biggest ‘I would’ve played that so differently’ moment, and how would things have panned out if they’d done it your way? 
 Honestly, my biggest thing is probably how James played Bertie. I 100% got what he was doing with the character, and it was appreciated from a non-narrative POV, but I just wanted him to bond with people! Especially during the prologue, it seemed like he had a lot of potential for long discussions with Zolf, and camaraderie with Sasha. I would have taken those opportunities to genuinely develop his character, so that when he told the party he didn’t actually care about them at all it would’ve hurt all the more.
Plus, I would’ve liked his death to have more feeling to it. All I really felt when Bertie died was relief. But he could have had a real Stellar Firma style ending; sacrificing himself for his best friend’s sister (only for her to die anyway). RPG deaths are so sudden, literally as realistic as it can get, it’s so easy to make them hurt. Especially because James actually left, there’s a period where the players kind of fumble, expecting him to be there, in which the characters fumble, too. If Bertie has been more than just trouble to the party we could have seen a real emptiness grow in the space he left.
I would’ve had him be a horrible person, but expanded the group of people he cares about juuust enough to include the party, therefore just enough to make it hurt when he died!
7. The campaign is now set in your favourite AU, but the plot has to stay roughly same. How do things play out? 
 My fave AU is usually ‘Victorian steam punk’ so I kinda shot myself in the foot here!
So I’ll go for a different AU I like (don’t come after me for this, I love Terry Pratchett, I swear! And I like RQG as it is!) which is: No Fantasy Stuff.
No Gods, clerics, or paladins. No dragons or sorcerers. No spell casters at all. No non-human people, no terrifying creatures, no teleporting. Just very advanced mechanics and biochemistry.
So, for a start, Zolf would be a mundane healer, and Hamid just a maths whiz. Grizzop would be a watchman trained in first aid, and Azu the world’s loveliest trainee nurse.
The plot would be almost identical: a group of people run into each other while doing crowd control, the government asks them to investigate a missing, self-replicating automaton, and off they go!
Obviously, some things would need fixing: I’d probably introduce Mary Shelley as an NPC, in order to explain how things like Mr Ceiling and Shoin’s lab came about.
Fights would all be hand to hand and weapons based.
The meritocracy would be the descendants of the people who took over Rome. And Hamid’s one of their more illegitimate descendants!
The cult of Hades are exactly that; a cult dedicated to Hades! Only they don’t get any powers from him, that just happens to be their name.
I think one of the hardest things would be the year and a half time jump. My first thought was a coma, but that’s boring, and would put Hamid and Azu out of action for way too long. Mundane boat travel took so long in the 1800s though, maybe they just took a little trip! It would take ~67 days to get from Damascus to Rome if all you did was walk every single day. Then they’d have to get all the way to Japan! I think it’s entirely reasonable that that journey would take a year and a half, and that somewhere alone the way, in Rome and general Italy respectively, Grizzop and Sasha would die. It ruins the harlequin stuff, which I adore, but alas: that’s the price you pay for no magic.
Plus, then they get to notice people getting stranger and stranger as they travel across the world, wondering why they can’t get in touch with anyone.
I probably should have picked a more interesting AU, but I do think about historical/human/non/magic AU all the darn time!
(But wait, you ask, is Hamid just there to do maths? Yes. Yes he is)
Thank you so much for the ask!
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