#they literally all encapsulated all feelings you experience in a moment like that at the same time

[emiko-matsui]

pov murph rolls an 8 at a critical moment

[jxsterr]

In that Depths post, you mentioned Link taking Zelda to Cotera to max out her gear. I feel like the Great Fairies are a little mini adventure for Zelink. Zelda's curiosity, Link's protective instincts and war flashbacks, plus my theory about how their magic works (acts of affection only) and I can't help but wonder how Zelink's initial and subsequent interactions with Great Fairies go. Do you have enough thoughts on that to put into a post?

WAIT UR SO RIGHT i hadnt even thought that much about how the great fairies worked until you mentioned it omgg

see the one thing thats up for debate is if zelda had ever interacted with the great fairies between botw and totk, i’d probably say she hasnt?? cuz it seems like the number of monsters we see in the games is Unusual so technically there wouldn’t be much need for her stuff to be upgraded, plus she literally has a guard dog LMAO

but i could imagine it being SUCH an emotional rollercoaster for zelda, we all know damn well she’s been starved of affection. i hope ive done this thought justice HAHA

- zelda is 100% spending the first 5 minutes there taking photos from every angle and link just has to stand there and wait while she’s like “i just need one more!!” (she’s said that 5 times now)

- i like to think that they’d be able to find things like fairies and blupees near the great fairies

- a further 10 minutes is spent with zelda on her hands and knees, purah pad in hands, trying to sneak close enough to a blupee to get a clear photo

- same thing with the fairies. she tries to catch one for science but fails miserably

- link catches one for her and she spends another minute just turning the jar in her hands. he can quite literally see the stars in her eyes

- “do you suppose we have a jar big enough to make a terrarium?” “i think so.” “hmm.. although, that may raise some concerns over fairy ethics..”

- totk has already shown us zelda has a thirst for keeping any funky creature she finds

- link waves and greets cotera nonchalantly. zelda can’t help but stare, wide-eyed and absolutely encapsulated by her beauty

- “my, and who’s this little wildflower you’ve brought along with you?”

- she’s surprised at how easily cotera’s flirty remarks wash over link. the most he ever does is smile

- it’s zelda’s turn to endure the incessant cooing of the great fairies. she’s bright red and struggles to reply without stammering

- link watches her with a grin and even laughs when she stutters enough that she’s incomprehensible

- she swats at his arm, it only makes him giggle more

- link explains what happens at each upgrade to save throwing her in blindly. zelda’s a little hesitant but he reassures her and the encouragement from him fills her with courage

- she handles the first upgrade easily. she’s grinning and relishes in the sparkles that linger around her

- link’s too busy admiring how pretty she looks when she’s given a confidence boost

- cotera’s looking at him knowingly but keeps her words to herself

- the second upgrade flusters her but she’s giggling

- “not to brag, princess, but my magic has worked wonders on you. you look wonderful!” “oh! you needn’t say such lovely things, cotera, really..”

- link’s already grinning before the third upgrade. zelda somehow doesn’t feel comforted

- cotera decides to show a little bit of mercy given how obvious it is that zelda has very little experience w affection so she kisses her head instead. it still stuns her

- link’s stepping back before the final upgrade. zelda has enough time to make a noise of surprise before she’s been scooped up and dragged to the very depths of the fountain

- link’s laughing when he helps steady her once she’s put back down. she feels positively ready to burst from all this affection. she’s still speechless

- he spends time talking to cotera about their plans to traverse the depths while zelda recovers

- link finds himself asking if cotera’s sure being fully upgraded will keep her safe and for a moment a look of understanding washes over her

- she’s seen firsthand the stages of grief trying to find the princess again put him through. she’d seen the exhaustion in his eyes, repairing some of his clothes as she upgraded them from all the battles he’d endured in his search for her

- zelda’s touched by his worry, but also equally worried about his own wellbeing. being so anxious about her couldnt be good for him. she felt guilty sometimes

- “thank you so much for your blessings, cotera. you have been very kind.” “with a face like yours, princess, i should be thanking you.” “oh..!”

- cotera asks to speak with link alone for a bit and zelda obliges, busying herself with making notes on the whole experience

- “link, please tell me you’ve been looking after yourself?” “it’s.. a work in progress.” “please, find time for yourself to heal. even if that time is while you’re next to her, don’t lose yourself to what plagues you.” “mm..”

- zelda leaves feeling like it’s not only her clothes that have been upgraded but her confidence too. link wishes he had the courage to continue where cotera left off

- both of them feel as though theyve just witnessed some personal growth from zelda, link makes sure to tell her that confidence is a good look on her

- his compliment has by far the biggest impact on her

[markantonys]

parsing through my thoughts on the TOM gawene conflicts as i've been rereading some of their scenes while working on my fic! as always, my interpretations are colored by my role as gawyn's defense attorney lmao

the core of these conflicts really is so good to me. because we have egwene, who has a complex about needing to do everything herself and thinking she can't rely on other people to do things on her behalf (due to her experiences of needing to strong-arm into supporting her aes sedai who only raised her because they wanted to use her as a puppet). and we have gawyn, who has a complex about needing to be useful to a more important person at all times (due to his upbringing as "a living sword for elayne's/andor's use"). and so OF COURSE they run into a problem of gawyn trying too hard to be useful to egwene, egwene getting mad that he's interfering and presuming she needs his help, and then gawyn getting upset that egwene is rejecting his help and not letting him be useful. tasty, delicious, organic, and in character if you ask me! and throughout, we see that they both care about each other and both ultimately want the same thing (gawyn becoming egwene's warder), but just can't quite understand each other well enough to get onto the same page about making that happen.

now, sanderson's spin on it of "oh, gawyn's too used to being a prince so he struggles to follow orders and play second fiddle" isn't the correct read to me. imo it's based on real-world, patriarchy-rooted assumptions of what being raised as a prince would be like, but in andor's matriarchal monarchy, gawyn has always been raised to play second fiddle rather than hold the spotlight himself and he never had a problem with it prior to TOM (in fact, he was actively miserable being a large-scale military leader), so transitioning from being elayne's first prince to egwene's warder shouldn't be too big a shock to his system. and he's usually shown to be pretty willing to follow orders - UNLESS those orders are to do nothing, which most (all?) of egwene's orders to him in TOM are. because he Needs To Be Useful and can't accept that sometimes he can help somebody best by Not Doing Anything (encapsulated perfectly by the "gawyn i need you to do something for me" "yes anything" "stop guarding my door" "what no!" exchange). so in that sense i think gawyn behaves pretty in-character in TOM, but sanderson just picked out the wrong reason for what's making him behave that way.

thus, the resolution of the conflict does stumble a bit. egwene being put in a situation where she would've died if gawyn hadn't helped her works for her end of it (learning to lean on others), but on gawyn's end it's kinda clunky. the lesson he Truly needed to learn is that sometimes the best thing he can do is nothing, but sanderson was under the impression that the lesson he needed to learn was that his place is in egwene's shadow and he must come to her as a warder rather than as a prince. hence, the resolution on his end is him accepting his own death as the price to pay to keep egwene alive. which is........kinda the opposite of what he needed to learn and basically contributes to his actual death in AMOL.........wait a minute, WAS this a mishandling by sanderson or was he deliberately making gawyn learn the wrong lesson to set up his death? lmao

anyway, at the end of the day the whole bloodknife sequence is SO goddamn romantic that i don't even care about some of the details of gawyn's motivations feeling off to me. literally a top 5 most romantic WOT moment from which i will never recover!!!!

[soloorganaas]

I know you are anti Remadora so ignore this question if you don't feel like addressing this topic but I saw you talking about them before so I figured it might be OK to ask. How would you feel about an AU version where they get together under very different circumstances, when they are both ready, and there is no pressure, no emotional manipulation, no rushing into things, etc.? So I guess my question is: do you hate Remadora period or do you hate the way their relationship was written in canon? Because for me it's the latter, and I can't ship it if it's canon compliant but I love Remus and Tonks as individuals, and although I ship Wolfstar too, I think there is great potential in their dynamic. It's a straight presenting relationship but in my head they're both queer and I think that's important to note, too.

this is a great question i got back in december, wrote half an essay for, then left in my drafts. i was reminded by the chaos discord of it so dug it out, finished the essay and voila. so i hope you follow me anon and get to enjoy my response to your question

tl;dr - i would never want to read remus and tonks together because remus is gay. gay identity and history is central to his characterisation, as is his relationship with sirius. remus's meaning and impact comes from that, and it's both a beautiful and sad story that resonates with so many gay people

jkr forced his relationship with tonks into being deliberately to try and erase remus's gay identity. she didn't write a meaningful loving relationship with a woman that would have characterised him as bisexual. if she had, then that relationship wouldn't have made remus 'less gay'. it would have been another facet woven in with a broader queer identity. but she didn't. remus did not want to be with tonks, and he was miserable the entire time. he was manipulated into being with her by the bastion of the cishet nuclear family molly weasley, and was only finally happy when he had a son and finally fitted the traditional family friendly cishet mold and said goodbye to his gayness forever

so a story with remus and tonks erases remus's gay identity because it's portraying him as something that he isn't and it plays into the homophobia of jkr in writing it to start with

i have ✨ expanded ✨ on this below with three main points:

1. remus is gay

2. gay history and identity is central to remus's characterisation

3. remus’s story is defined by his relationship with sirius

remus’s sexuality

the biggest question of all is whether remus is into women or not. I don’t think there’s an argument that he is based on his relationship with tonks. this is obviously a subject that can be talked about in great depth, but the key point is that he doesn’t show any interest in her, rejects her again and again, and is miserable when they're married. there’s nothing to indicate any romantic feelings or sexual attraction on his part, any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate, any sense that she understands him in a deep and unique way, or really that she brings him any joy

beyond tonks, I think he’s characterised as not into women generally. he never performs/acts/presents himself in any way for the female gaze - it’s not just about not actively trying to attract women, there is literally no way in which he ever acts like he seems concerned with what women think or passively adopts traits to please them. he also doesn’t have any intense relationships with women that we know of, or any moments of chemistry or tension with women. all of his intense feelings and interactions are with men. all of this is characteristic of the experience of being a gay person

the centrality of gay identity and history to remus's story

remus’s life encapsulates the loneliness and hardship of being gay in the 70s/80s/90s. the marginalisation, the secrecy, the danger of being found out, the suspicion. he is a character constantly carrying a Big Secret, and he’s shaped himself to develop layers of self-control, discretion and manipulation that keep any potentially revealing emotions or personal details safely hidden. he goes out of his way to avoid visibly making trouble or raising his head above the parapet, to present himself as perfectly respectable, which was (and often still is) a fundamental part of existing as gay in a homophobic society, to counter any perceptions of being a predator or untrustworthy or abnormal

and it is a deliberate performance, bc we know quite clearly how much trouble he’s making under the surface - he hides the knowledge of padfoot and the map from dumbledore, he revels in gaslighting snape when he finds the map on harry, his first action when he sees peter and sirius on the map is not to inform the authorities, but to run to them himself and keep it a secret. he’s a mischievous, deviant, sarcastic, often morally grey troublemaker, but no one for a second (except sirius) would ever see that in him

but despite all remus's attempts at respectability, he still is marginalised. he’s fundamentally seen as a dangerous freak, someone who shouldn’t be allowed near children or polite society lest he corrupt them, which is such a metaphor for homophobia (and esp against gay men) it punches you in the face. he’s trapped in poverty despite his education and assumed family wealth and is forced to rely on others for financial security. like so many other gay people throughout history his safety entirely comes from his community, bc he can’t rely on any institutional support - and when it disappears, as it does in 1981, he’s left poor, unsafe and adrift

and then there’s sirius

sirius and remus

remus's entire life from when he joins hogwarts to when he dies is shaped by sirius

he goes from a lonely, marginalised boy to someone loved and valued by his friends, to the point they perform incredibly dangerous and illegal magic just to try and reach him in the aspect of his life that's most painful and isolating. this is largely due to sirius and james. there's not much we know about remus's relationship then with sirius specifically, other than that sirius was both affectionately teasing and affectionately rude towards him (from swm). the rest is extrapolation from how close they are as adults. but the story that we do get is one that wouldn’t exist without sirius

remus then spends thirteen years tortured by the knowledge of what sirius has done that he still can't quite accept, as well as the knowledge of what sirius is going through as the a prisoner in azkaban. he doesn't ever come close to moving on - he loses his shit every time harry brings up sirius; he questions whether sirius, despite being an alleged mass murderer, really deserves azkaban; he is incredibly stressed and anxious to the point of noticeably losing weight the entirety of PoA, which is not just down to lycanthrophy. his entire mental state (and to an extent his physical one) is dictated by sirius

then the moment there's even a hint that sirius might not have committed the crimes alleged remus drops everything and runs. he faces sirius for the first time in thirteen years and believes him instantly. he's at sirius's side defending him and working with him with an astonishing amount of trust for someone he thought (at least partially) was guilty not an hour before. that's a mark of how deep his love and devotion goes, and how much he was simply waiting around for sirius all those years

we have no idea what remus does in GoF, but we do know by OotP he once again drops everything for sirius and moves into an absolutely miserable house to live alongside him. there's no reason for him to be there other than sirius (no one else in the order needs to live there, after all). every scene he's in, every bit of dialogue in that book is related to sirius. when he's saying goodbye to harry after christmas his advice is a subtle reference to sirius. they give harry a joint christmas present, they take care of him together. they exist entirely as partners

after sirius dies, remus completely falls apart. every time we see him through harry's eyes he's worse and worse. by the christmas of harry's sixth year remus is referring to werewolf tribes murdering humans for fun as his 'equals' and has clearly lost all sense of self-worth or reason for being. he's such a wreck he's emotionally manipulated into marrying a woman he doesn't want to and then is an absolutely terrible husband the entire time. even when his son is born, he's still acting thinking of sirius - he asks harry to be teddy's godfather, emulating the example sirius set

remus is who he is because of his relationship with sirius, one that is far, far too intense to be just platonic

conclusion

there is no way i, personally, would ever be comfortable with a remadora relationship. even if they were similar ages or got to know each other in a different context, it still wouldn't be realistic. remus is gay, that entire relationship came about with the intention to straight wash him. putting him together with any woman bothers me, but putting him together with tonks specifically upsets me because of the homophobic background for why that relationship even exists in canon

there are a lot of relationships we can quibble about as to whether they work or not, and that's fair. remadora is one of them. but the extra layer of jkr's homophobia in forcing them together can't be separated from that discussion. some people may view their relationship as meaningful in spite of that. that's fine, we're all entitled to our own headcanons. it's not mine, and there is no story i want to read where remus is with tonks. there's no story i want to read where he isn't gay, full stop

[theygotlost]

Annotations for le Vimes playlist

hi. read this if you care

YOUTUBE VERSION if you want to listen without spotify

1. The Fool / Neutral Milk Hotel

A little instrumental preamble before the playlist proper. musically, I think it captures the state of Vimes at the beginning of Guards! Guards!. It sounds like a processional fanfare fit for a guard, but cacophonous and lilting, as if the band were stumbling drunk.

2. Wasted on the Senate Floor / Emperor X

Another Guards! Song, though the frantic energy reflects the chaotic excitement of the watch series and Discworld as a whole (and the excitement I get from reading it heehee). The title/refrain is pretty straightforward, just replace “senate floor” with “oblong office”. 

Some other pertinent lyrics:

That feels million to one [a million to one chance??? perhaps???]

Republican watchman from Virginia wraps his fist in a flag To punch our lights out

We've got bloody eyes but we're feeling good Causing confusion in the neighborhood

3. We Live in a Dump / They Might be Giants

I have to put a TMBG song in my discworld playlist, I simply must! Pretty much all the lyrics to this one are relevant, but the pre-chorus specifically fits well with the rank trying to get Vimes out of his drunken stupor and Vimes being dismissed from the watch, both of which happen in Guards! And Men at Arms.

Why be realistic? Don't wake me from my dream I was individualistic They kicked me off the team

4. Grace Cathedral Hill / The Decemberists

How Vimes experiences Ankh-Morpork. There’s a tenderness and melancholy to this song, since Vimes does have a sort of affection for the city despite how terrible it is.

All dust and stone and moribund

The air, it stunk of fish and beer

The suggestion of CMOT dibbler: 

We were both a little hungry So we went to get a hot dog

The pilgrims, pills, and tourists here Will sink fifty-three bucks to buy A brand new halo

This could be Sibyl, who knows!!

Sweet on a green-eyed girl All fiery Irish clip and curl All brine and piss and vinegar

I know “piss and vinegar” is an expression describing her personality (Vimes is really more the one full of piss and vinegar), but taken literally it would also accurately describe the smell of the city.

5. Dirty Old Town / Ewan Maccoll

A continuation of the themes from the previous song. I originally had the cover by the Pogues in here for the longest time, but I decided to replace it with the original from 1949 because it brings a more interesting color (the clarinet!!).

6. Precinct 41 Major Crime Unit / Sea Power

Another instrumental interlude, this time from the Disco Elysium soundtrack. Discworld and Disco Elysium are so closely linked in my mind, Vimes absolutely has Harry’s skillset inside his brain and you CANNOT convince me otherwise. As the title suggests this song is the theme for Harry’s police precinct, and I totally imagine it playing during an intense moment with the Watch.

7. Hurricane Drunk / Florence + the Machine

Yeah yeah I know it’s sooo easy to fill my playlist with songs about alcoholism. Well if the boot fits! Plus:

No walls can keep me protected No sleep, nothing in between me and the rain

Pretty good imagery here of Vimes’ night patrols and/or passing out in the gutter.

8. Down by the Water / The Decemberists

The river Ankh, if we’re using a generous definition of the term “water”.

9. Cap in Hand / The Proclaimers

FUUUCK the nobility!!!

10. Average Working Man / Panicland

FUCK the nobility… 2!!! He's God's message to the high class folk!!!! This is a perfect song for encapsulating Vimes’ RAGEEE

11. This Night / Black Lab

This one’s about the Summoning Dark/”The Beast”:

There are things, I have done There's a place, I have gone There's a beast and I let it run Now it's running my way

And then there’s this: 

So take this night And wrap it around me like a sheet I know I'm not forgiven But I need a place to sleep So take this night And lay me down on the street I know I'm not forgiven but I hope That I'll be given some peace

From Jingo:

He was, temporarily, a happy man. He was cold, wet and alone, trying to keep out of the worst of the weather at three o’clock on a ferocious morning. He’d spent some of the best nights of his life like this. At such times you could just…sort of hunch your shoulders like this and let your head pull in like this and you became a little hutch of warmth and peace, the rain banging on your helmet, the mind just ticking over, sorting out the world…

12. Get Better / Frank Turner

Vimes’ character is all about learning from mistakes and making an effort to become a better person. All the lyrics are relevant, but here’s the chorus:

I'm trying to get better 'cause I haven't been my best She took a plain black marker, started writing on my chest She drew a line across the middle of my broken heart And said "Come on now, let's fix this mess" We could get better because we're not dead yet

ILY SYBIL!!!!!

13. Damn These Vampires / The Mountain Goats

In terms of the song order of this playlist, this is the calm before the storm, the darkness before the dawn; Just one last quick interlude before the main event.

Crawl 'til dawn On my hands and knees Goddamn these vampires For what they've done to me

I admit this whole song is a little bit of a stretch, but the refrain is a nod to Vimes’ attitude toward vampires that’s addressed in Thud!. He spends some time crawling around like a beast in that book too.

14. Blossoms / The Amazing Devil

The crown jewel, the piece de resistance of this playlist! The Night Watch song of all time!!! I don’t feel like I need to break down the lyrics here since I already made this piece illustrating all the relevant lyrics. ✌ Ugh the emotional intensity of this one is really the important part. Leave it to the amazing devil to write Epic Music. 

15. Caesar / The Oh Hellos

This song also has a very Epic feeling to it so I have it riding on the high of Blossoms, but it’s less energetic so I think of it as a cooldown. I always thought the title referred to Julius Caesar, but Genius lyrics is telling me it’s actually about Jesus. whatevarrrr. Because I thought it was about the assassination of a monarch, I connected it with Old Stoneface. Compare:

Hear on the wind how the pendulum swings Feel how the winter succumbs to the spring Over the palisade morning will break Rise up to meet it, oh sleeper awake

With Jingo:

He had always wondered how Old Stoneface had felt, that frosty morning when he picked up the axe that had no legal blessing because the King wouldn’t recognize a court even if a jury could be found, that frosty morning when he prepared to sever what people thought was a link between men and deity

16. Untitled / The Long Winters

Just a lil silly one to take us out on a cheerful note! I admit this one doesn’t make much sense because it’s about living in a rural area and not an urban center like Ankh-Morpork but… I gotta get back to my shanty town!! And I’ve put a lot of folk music on this playlist bc even though he’s not a country boy VImes has some very folksy salt-of-the-earth sensibilities. Just let me have this one

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 The Last Love Song Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's your favorite love song?❓ 🦇 After graduating, Mia Peters is given a letter from her late mother, country music star Tori Rose — the woman who left the small town of Sunset Cove to pursue her dream. That first letter sends her on a scavenger hunt across town to find more, each one like a puzzle piece, adding to the hazy image Mia has of the woman behind hit albums and fame. Each letter brings Mia closer to her mother, but further away from her best friend and sort-of-girlfriend Britt, who is leaving in a few days to pursue the same dream. Can Mia unravel her mother's past, face her present, and decide on a future outside of Sunset Cove? Or will the truth leave her disappointed and trapped in the small town her mother left behind?

💜 Kalie Holford does a stunning job at sparking vivacious life into Tori Rose through letters and journal entries. You experience the magnetism everyone in Sunset Cove once did, and understand why the entire town reveres her. Readers are bound to connect and empathize with both Tori and her daughter Mia in this dual POV/dual timeline story. Reading it, I was instantly tugged back to 2005, at the memory of reading Maureen Johnson's 13 Little Blue Envelopes. There's such exquisite balance between the past and present in this story, Tori's puzzle-pieced past simultaneously soothing Mia's concerns about leaving Sunset Cove while adding to them — a reminder that your choices and mistakes MUST be your own.

💜 That beautiful balance creates parallels between Mia's story and her mother's. We even see parallels between Mia and her unknown father. Both run away, fear being brave or taking a risk, and it holds them back from their true potential. Mia is so eager NOT to repeat her mother's history that she second-guesses herself constantly, afraid to make her own mistakes. Mia not only learns from her mother's journal entries, but also the lives she touched — proving the domino effect we can have on another person's lives. At the end, though...it's also a story about regret. We aren't our mistakes, but what we learn from them. It's a story about growth after the fact.

💜 "I will never regret chasing my dream. I regret the people I hurt. I regret the bridges I burned. I regret losing who I was in an attempt to find someone else in everyone else and within me."

💜 The lyrics from Mia's music AND her mothers add an extra layer to this story. For the record, I did cry (reading the story's literal Last Long Song), so if you're sappy like me, have tissues at the ready.

💙 Holford beautifully encapsulates that pivitol "coming-of-age" moment that empowers any YA story. The best friends to lovers aspect is messy, realistic, and pure; a series of stolen, secret kisses, failed relationships with others in between, the fear of either ruining or losing an unspoken love story. You'll root for Mia and Britt, cry at Mia's side, and feel full of hope by the end of it all. Also, Mia's grandmothers? They are everything.

🦇 This is a powerful, atmospheric debut that's bursting with heart and soul. Recommended for fans of Sadie, 13 Little Blue Envelopes, and Mama Mia. And, beyond a doubt, all you Swifties.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🎵 Bisexual FMC 🎶 Sapphic Romance / Best Friends to Lovers 🎵 Lyrics 🎶 Mother/Daughter 🎵 Dual POV 🎶 Dual Timeline 🎵 Grief & Self-Discovery 🎶 Contemporary YA 🎵 Debut

🦇 Major thanks to the author @kalieholford and publisher @blackstonepublishing for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.

💬 Quotes ❝ All my life I’ve collected pieces of Tori Rose like breadcrumbs, lyrics like talismans, stories like safety nets. ❞ ❝ "Really think about it without the fear and the lies and the telling yourself you can’t have it.” ❞ ❝ “You’re going to be a star, you know that, right?” She shakes her head. “Stars burn out. I want to be my own goddamn galaxy.” ❞ ❝ She’s the personification of a love song, and I can’t get her out of my head. ❞ ❝ The world raises girls to be competitors not constellations. ❞ ❝ We burst and we break. We are dichotomies and paradoxes and lies and happily never afters. We are an ending that wants to be a beginning and a beginning that never got to start quite right. We are everything and she is everything and only I know that I truly wish I could go with her. ❞

[lex-the-lesbiann]

Angel Eyes & Basketball by Foot Ox is about Normal and Scary actually

(not in a romantic way, in my mind they are gay-lesbian solidarity)

Normal:

Scary:

Explanation below the cut if you want to listen to me ramble :3

im gonna go a few lines at a time for this to try and organize it better and ill really try to not over explain :]

Normal:

“There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me”

the way i interpret it, the animal is obviously the Doodler but in the original context of the song i think its interesting that they make a point to say that flowers are growing around the animal, encasing it, maybe in an attempt to hide or shelter it. For my interpretation as it relates to the Doodler, i think it represents the Doodlers good intentions despite the bad outcomes

“And its so ugly And I’m so broken And I’m so ugly and it’s so broken”

the Doodler and Normal have very similar experiences which makes them also have very similar feelings and i think this encapsulates how Normal felt during at the church of the doodler, just this extreme catharsis and recognition being found in an ugly and broken animal

“I am calling all of my friends to pull me out from this hole But they’re so caught up in their own shit And I’m so caught up in my own shit”

I don’t really have much to say for this one because it can kinda be applied to all of the teens, there’s nothing particular Normal Specific here but they’re all just going through it man

“Worlds collapsing all inward And the drones are piercing through it’s own skin But I think we should live together Yeah, I think we should live together”

to me, “i think we should live together” isnt about moving in together but rather, not dying in the face of the world collapsing and not even just that, its about not dying with other people, because you have these other people with you and they’re also not dying if that makes sense? And i think that very much fits with Normals ideology because he’s obviously very big on connecting with the people around him even if everything is going to shit and even if nobody else really wants to be friends with him (not saying that the rest of the teens dont want to be his friend, this was more of an in general thing)

“And you have to believe me when I say I understand That no one around here seems to understand But you have got to make an effort Yeah, you have got to make an effort”

And this is where I can also start talking about Scary because in my mind this is basically Normal talking to her. And like I was saying before, Normal is very motivated to try and make everyone like him (making the effort), so when someone like Scary so outwardly seems to not care (even though she actually does), it would be very frustrating. But i can also see this being Normal talking to himself because pretty much no one else in the group seems to care as much about being friends if that makes sense? not to say the other teens dont care about each other, they do, but Normal cares so outwardly

Scary:

“Like kids smoking in cemeteries Trying to remember what it’s like to be nothing again So maybe it won’t be so scary When they finally meet the maker at all”

In my mind, “the maker” is Willy and because of how he is, Scary has to try and be nothing when she associates herself with him, even if she doesn’t directly realize it. This is definitely a plate of corn moment but I really appreciate the irony that when Scary was most aligned with Willy, she called everyone else “sheep” even though the rest of the teens had literally just ran away from and disobeyed their fathers while Scary was perfectly content to just follow Willy and went with whatever he said.

“There are flowers growing all around the tiny fish swimming in my blood Begging me for more cheap coffee Begging me for more cheap coffee”

Okay, you’re gonna start to sense a pattern here, but the cheap coffee is also Willy and i can explain. its not so much that it directly represents Willy, but more so the sense of a parental figure that is somewhat, sometimes proud of her, hence the comparison to cheap coffee. But anyway I got ahead of myself, the fish (and btw i love that they’re fish bc get it, stamplers and fishing. you get it) are sort of her anti-conscience if thats a word, basically just something that tells her that she can have what she wants immediately and she doesnt have to work much for it, it’ll just be there and sure it won’t be as good as it could be if you put in more work but do you even really deserve the good one? just take the easy one, it fits you better. i hope that made sense

“Swimming round a kingdom of regrets Slowly building up inside of me”

Pretty much the same as what i was just talking about before but this is the result of choosing the “cheap coffee” and i like to relate this to the scene where Scary asks Willy for a hug and he laughs at her because, if i were to relate that scene to this song, Scary was asking Willy to essentially be more than he is, to be more than “cheap coffee” to give her a reason to stay but he’s an asshole so he just isnt. And then the regrets are obviously just the regret she feels. i really hope that made sense i dont think im explaining myself well.

“But there are things that I believe in Yeah, sacred things that I am keeping for you to see Later when you need them, like a Christmas tree Covered in light blue ornaments”

I think this can represent just how much Scary is a poser and knows it. She knows that she‘s pretending but only reveals these things when she absolutely has to. For example, at the black parade and at the mayors office.

Alright thats it im done, i hope this was at least a little bit coherent lmao :3

[breaded-boi]

nimona spoilers and narrative rambling below

i think its interesting that nimona could have just left (leaving is even suggested in the movie) but she stays, specifically, in the place that hates her out of a hope to find someone who doesnt, and probably also just sheer loneliness. this is one of those things where im sure none of this was intentional and its this way because otherwise movie would not happen. but i think this particular choice does imply a level of learned helplessness IF there are plausibly other humans or beings who nimona could have gone out and met.

the kingdom is all we see of human civilization in nimonas world, so you could either follow the thematic thread and say the kingdom encapsulates all sentient beings or you could follow the more literal interpretation that nimona stuck around not because the rest of the world is desolate, but because of how traumatic her sole experience of intimacy was and how little she thinks of herself from years of rejection, a glimmer of hope, and then a thousand years of being hated by literally everyone. she stays because getting love from here, specifically, is important to her even if it means sticking around to endure being hated.

i was just thinking about how cleverly written it is that even though watching the movie when ballister suggests leaving i as an audience member am also like "YES. LEAVE!!!" but still understand why she chooses to stay.

sidenote but i do think bringing up leaving does present a bit of a narrative issue. for one, ballister going from willing to run away with nimona to angrily confronting her about the scroll is a pretty big swing, and even though they try to sell it with the ambrosious scene i still found it jarring. And, by presenting the audience with the possibility of leaving the situation as a possible solution, it does beg the question-- if she can leave, why hasnt she? obviously in that moment she is motivated by bringing the director to justice, yes, but what about before? Well, points to previous paragraphs. We as an audience do understand why, and as i said if she just left then movie wouldnt happen.

I think its interesting because its a glimpse into another way the narrative couldve gone. Instead of the attempted suicide followed by vindication and valorization, nimona leaves. she leaves the people that hurt her behind, and there are other things out there for her. Obviously this ending doesnt pay off anything thematically, but why consider thematic payoff when cutting ties to abuse?

I think nimona is an incredibly hopeful and wish fulfilling story about overcoming those who are prejudiced against you, killing corrupt bigoted public officials, changing peoples mind and getting them to see you, and finding love. I think its meant to be a very encouraging story for kids, especially queer kids, who wouldnt have an option to run from a hostile place either. But i also think, inadvertedly, it teaches kids that your queerness (shapeshifting) means that people who will be able to love you are rare unless you yknow sacrifice yourself heroically for society. that finding someone is miraculous, because it feels miraculous, and when youve been rejected all your life the idea of an abundance of people out there who would care about you is absurd. i think this would be a lot worse if she rly did die at the end to be fair

On the offchance there are any kids stuck in a hostile situation reading this just know that once you can run, you should, without remorse and also that nimona is a good movie

[weizhiyuan]

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

thank youuu mel @justafriend-ql for tagging me!!! And to @thatgirl4815 for creating it!

I’m so bad at picking favorites so please excuse the fact that I have like two answers per question.. since this is a Thai bl list I’m not listing gls or non Thai series or else I’d probably list like 3+ per question fnskfjfj

Favorite bl: bad buddy or not me (PLEASE DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE). They’re both very different but very important in their own ways. The bad buddy experience is incomparable and the beauty of not me and its basis in reality is historical

Favorite pairing: following suit, patpran & seanwhite. Both series weren’t just plot driven, they were character driven as well (possibly more so). Each are fantastic, though wildly different, romances.

Most underrated actor: my boy chimon! I think generally people know he can act but I wouldn’t be surprised if he gained more recognition after dangerous romance aired. (Also bonus, stealing Mel’s answer cuz sing always needs more attention he can do any and everything!! I’ll eat up any role he plays. I always do)

Favorite character: really hard to choose. maybe Sean (from not me again). I’m ngl I blocked someone once bc they talked a bit of shit abt him. He’s never done anything wrong in his life <3

Favorite side character: yok from not me. I’m gonna keep putting not me here srry but NO ONE will ever be as slutty as yok was. Not even First in only friends. He encapsulated Slut energy in such an immaculate way. (OR heartliming. They stole the show in moonlight chicken for me!)

Favorite scene: the pride flag scene from not me. It’s one of the most impactful scenes I’ve seen in any ql and I love the reason why it exists in the first place!

Favorite line: the build up to patpran’s rooftop kiss. Got me holding my breath screaming crying heart racing you know it. We’ve all been through it. I have it copied into my notes in case I ever need it (or just to. Cry idk)

Most anticipated bl and why: hmmm probably cooking crush literally just cuz of offgun in a romcom bl lmao I luv them. The pics they’ve uploaded lately have had a different vibe from the mock trailer and I’m liking it! Maybe cherry magic too as I’m curious to see how it’ll be adapted to Thailand as a remake

Healthiest relationship in a bl: patpran. Do I even need to say more? They might’ve had a little drama before they got together but you HAVE to have a healthy mf relationship to maintain it while “lying” saying you’ve broken up to your parents & some of ur friends

Most toxic relationship in a bl: vegaspete. See they’re lowkey more toxic in my head than they are on screen. Like yes vegas electrocuted Pete’s balls but he could’ve done worse and I think he should’ve! The toxic aspect was what made it fun (also who would I be if they didn’t make it on a fav Thai bl list at least Once)

Guilty pleasure series: idk what I’d consider a guilty pleasure BUT I thought the first episode of tharntype (which I actually only watched recently lmao) was kinda camp. Like it literally OPENS with Type saying he loves college except for one problem… GAY PEOPLE EXIST 😡🤬 that’s comedy. I burst out laughing. Can’t say I love the show as a whole tho

Most underrated series (mel I love that u added this bc I kno exactly what to say): SECRET CRUSH ON YOU. I NEED TO PROMOTE IT. I think people who dropped it did so bc it was so over the top but that’s exactly why you should keep going??? It’s SO saturated and the emotions are ALWAYS at 100 it’s hilarious but in the moments it gets emotional (episode 13…) it GOES ALL IN!!! The constant secondhand embarrassment made me literally start sweating but in a good way?? Ppl who reduce it to just cringe have missed all the beauty it offers. I regret not watching it live and I feel like I don’t see enough people talking about it… also I am literally toh <3

Surprisingly some of my beloved Thai bls didn’t make it onto this list but it seems that’s cuz I still have bad buddy/not me brain worms forever 🙃 I stand by what I said either way hehe

I’ll tag @joyladagang @loserlesbianongsa @jyuubin @petrichoraline @iliketodecompose <33333

[allamericansbitch]

the gaylor thing is so harmful because it shouldn’t even fucking matter, but it turned into this giant discourse that’s directly affecting so many different people in so many different ways… taylor herself, the men she’s seen with, the girls she’s seen with, young queers who might have felt safe in that particular community and are now feeling marginalised and attacked (my coming to terms with myself experience had a lot of “oh if they’re so aggressive about XX being gay, they’ll be just as aggressive with me” - like these are teenagers we’re talking about, literal children that may’ve found comfort in that part of the community, that felt validated and seen) ((i’m obviously excluding grown ass adults that keep pushing the gaylor agenda from this particular example)), just anyone who got/gets caught up in this fucked up narrative - it’s a mess

but the main thing for me is like who the fuck cares who taylor swift is fucking/has fucked!? that’s a weird thing to speculate on, it’s such an invasion of privacy, it’s literally no one’s business

-

i’m gay so every other song i listen to is gay (to me) sometimes.

like avril lavigne’s girlfriend… wow gayest song ever… TO ME!! when i’m singing it in the car with my friends having a laugh about my life and reminiscing about this girl i had a crush on in sixth form “hey hey you you i don’t like your girlfriend // hey hey you you i want to be your girlfriend”

in that moment, for me, it’s a song about three girls, about my situation and only that — which is completely okay and not at all harmful!!

it’s the same as when i’m jamming to ed sheeran’s “i don’t wanna know about your new man ‘cause if it was meant to be, you wouldn’t be calling me up trying to, cause i’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me” thinking about this bi girl who left me for a guy - ed obviously didn’t write this song to portray that story

like please, if i sing “i knew you dancing in your levi’s” about my masc ex gf or if my cousin sings it about a fuckboy from her uni, what’s the difference?? that’s what art’s all about..

for example, rwylm is my favourite song because it encapsulates perfectly how i feel about my depression: help! i’m stuck!! everybody has moved on and continues to do so but i have this giant weight holding me back!! in my head i’m still the same as i was at 23!! my friends and family have accomplished things, the world has moved on and i can’t figure out how to!! i’m right where happiness left me!!

i don’t interpret it as a relationship/breakup song at all, which was pretty blatantly written as.

my interpretation doesn’t harm anyone bc i don’t shove this perspective down anyone’s throat, nor do i state it to be the ultimate truth. i just use the song for catharsis and comfort.

taylor’s songwriting is very nuanced and that’s good art!! it’s good to have a broad audience that can relate to all these core feelings you’re emoting, each in their own way, but it’s just creepy to speculate about someone’s (a stranger’s!!!) sex life, queer or straight alike.

taylor’s songs can be gay… or they cannot. not because they were written that way, not because she is or isn’t queer, but because of the way everyone personally experiences it.

i wish this was the common ground in the fandom bc i’d love to publicly joke on my blog that “hits different is sooo having your first girlfriend after only dating boys” without people interpreting it as me claiming that taylor is a wlw and coming at me with death threats and (more often than not) homophobic narratives. it would literally just be a silly text post that some people might relate to, or find funny, simple as. it wouldn’t be me pushing someone’s sexuality, bc (1). i wouldn’t; (2). it’s not that deep (as seen by the many examples i shared)

personally i’d just love to listen to my gay little music (that’s not necessarily factually gay) and ramble about it with on my silly little blog to my little internet friends without it being a whole thing (tm) which gaylors have made

idk this is just a rant bc it makes me sad… everyone should be free to enjoy music as they wish and most importantly everyone should learn to not gamble/theorise on people’s sexuality - it’s frankly very unsettling

so!! many!!! good!! points!!! yes yes yes!!!

it's sooo weird to care about who taylor is with. it literally does not matter and it does have negative affects, she's said so herself.

i've only seen a few discussions about the negative affects this whole gaylor thing has had on people who are queer and obviously i cant speak to it, but i didnt even realize it could totally affect y'all negatively due to it's intensity, that makes total sense and could be really intimidating.

and what you said about those songs and your examples is so!! true!!! thats your interpretation and thats beautiful! it's yours and thats what makes the songs, or any art in general, come alive. you're making it your own and giving it meaning and depth with your own layered experience. that's unique and your painting it with your own colors! no one else has those exact colors! it's yours! and thats amazing!

a great example of how individual, personal experiences can make interpreting a song so much deeper and more meaningful, you saying you view rwylm about your personal experience with depression... i view it through my relationship with my anxiety and the trauma it's caused me! and that's so cool how 1 song can mean so many things like a relationship to a person, depression and anxiety? thats so magical and much more meaningful than just simply speculating about which of her exes its about...

[licncourt]

top 5 moments of louis characterization

or

top 5 pieces of vc fanon

Honestly, I'm at the point where I hardly know what's canon and what's fanon because AR lore is so wild, so I'm taking option one for my own sanity.

The lead-up to Paul's death! What we find out about mortal Loui really encapsulates the clash between the moral pillar Louis aspires to be (and believes himself to be in some cases, whether he'd admit it or not) and the reality of his selfishness. He's a spoiled brat who has the privilege to sit around and contemplate his adherence to Aristotelian Christian morals while his lifestyle is made possible by pure exploitation. It tells you everything you need to know about Louis and how his moral compass, how it's all theory and no practice. That carries over directly to vampirism in so many fascinating ways.

THE PRIEST SCENE. I think that's really the first time we see what Louis is capable of when he loses it entirely. Feeding on Claudia was a lapse in control, but the priest scene was a concentrated descent into madness, like a microcosm of his issues around desire and control and guilt. He goes from a quiet, pious young man to a bloodthirsty monster over the course of a few paragraphs. It's so chilling and so revealing, Louis as he wants to be and then Louis at his worst (which is also what he thinks he really is). Truly masterful and one of my favorite scenes from VC as a whole.

His stupid little Aesthetics monologue. Literally what the fuck is this Lewis. What a fuckhead.

"But why…you’ve said Lestat shouldn’t have made you start with people. Did you mean…do you mean for you it was an aesthetic choice, not a moral one?"

"Had you asked me then, I would have told you it was aesthetic, that I wished to understand death in stages. That the death of an animal yielded such pleasure and experience to me that I had only begun to understand it, and wished to save the experience of human death for my mature understanding. But it was moral. Because all aesthetic decisions are moral, really."

"I don’t understand,” said the boy. “I thought aesthetic decisions could be completely immoral. What about the cliché of the artist who leaves his wife and children so he can paint? Or Nero playing the harp while Rome burned?”

"Both were moral decisions. Both served a higher good, in the mind of the artist. The conflict lies between the morals of the artist and the morals of society, not between aesthetics and morality. But often this isn’t understood; and here comes the waste, the tragedy. An artist, stealing paints from a store, for example, imagines himself to have made an inevitable but immoral decision, and then he sees himself as fallen from grace; what follows is despair and petty irresponsibility, as if morality were a great glass world which can be utterly shattered by one act. But this was not my great concern then. I did not know these things then. I believed I killed animals for aesthetic reasons only, and I hedged against the great moral question of whether or not by my very nature I was damned."

4. The flower picking and stargazing and singing!! It's an adorable passage, but it also encapsulates what makes Louis so endearing. No matter what happens, he never loses his reverence for the wonder of being alive, the inherent optimism and love that keeps him going through everything and the unexpected whimsy that makes you so aware of why he winds hearts like he does. It's so little but so much. I talk a lot of shit about Louis, but God. He's a cutie pie. Baby.

5. The Prince Lestat epilogue, my beloved. It may be the bare minimum from Anne, but my little guy is HAPPY. He is forgiving himself and finding peace and it makes his arc feel worth it. I'm SO glad AR let him have this after so much suffering. It's so lovely and so needed.

+ Honorable mention to him standing in the rain and watching Romeo and Juliet (1996) through the storefront window. It serves functionally the same purpose as no. 4, but it is so.

[kittttycakes]

Ahhhh ngl I would love to see Grace grilling Morpheus for all of the knowledge about all of the things. I love that she loves him so much and wants to know and understand as much about him and his world and experiences as she can.

Yeah, Calliope would be tricky, but like you said, I hope she and Grace could get to a point where they have a glass of wine or two.

I suppose there may not be the one perfect friend out their for Grace that ticks all of the boxes, but maybe she’ll find enough people to surround herself with that each offer a different aspect of friendship that she needs or craves? And I suppose that is what it is like for most people, regardless of whether or not you’re dating a 600+ year old immortal and the anthropomorphic personification of humanity’s subconsciousness.

On a slight crack note, would it not be hilarious imagining Grace, Johanna, Rose, Lucienne, and Calliope letting loose on a girls night out and getting into some kind of shenanigans.

On the monster to lovers topic, man, I would give so much to see some more of that over protective, vengeful Morpheus as we did in the Calliope episode. Is it unhealthy to find that really hot?

I know I have been, and am continuing to be very needy and greedy, but do you think we might get to see any of that Morpheus in your writing? Even any of the “No, you cannot doom that man to an eternity of nightmares just because he disagreed with me during a panel discussion at the conference. Dr. Ward, though…” conversations??

It almost catches Morpheus off guard, how much she wants to know him. Because Hob, for all that he cares for Morpheus, just…doesn’t question him that much at all, through all their historical meetings, and whether that’s because he saw that Morpheus didn’t want to talk about it in 1489 and just internalized that or because he just liked having that attention directed fully on him for an hour, it still stands. That does change some in AHFH, and Hob does talk to him more about himself and ask him questions, but Morpheus assumes, at first, that that’s just a Hob thing. The man was fascinated by handkerchiefs and playing cards and his questions are the logical extension of that level of interest in the minutia of his day to day life, once Morpheus really becomes a part of it.

But Grace…Grace isn’t connected to him in the same way that Hob is (he didn’t directly cause her immortality) and so her wanting to know so much about him is different. For her, she loves him, so of course she’s interested in everything about him, that’s just how it goes. So Morpheus isn’t exactly used to answering the kinds of questions she’s asking, at first, but he eventually does get used to it and sees it for what it is: an expression of love. All of that rambling to say I definitely do want to write more one on one Grace and Morpheus interaction!

Grace can definitely patchwork her friendships to get to a place where she’s happy and fulfilled! Someday, maybe, she’ll have one person who encapsulates all of it, but for the moment, she has a really good support network and enough people that she can be herself around and open and honest that she isn’t feeling too constrained just yet. If she didn’t have both Hob and Morpheus, and Lucienne and Matthew, and eventually an ever expanding network of people and dreams, I think it would be harder on her.

A girls night would be so fun! All five of them together…Johanna thinks she can drink anyone under the table, but she doesn’t factor in Calliope being a literal goddess/muse, and I think Lucienne would give her a surprising run for her money. Grace is and has always been a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, but Rose can hold her own. They’d have fun, I think! Just a nice hang out with cocktails and getting to be themselves, no having to pretend that they aren’t who they are or don’t know what they know.

Vengeful Morpheus just does something for me…when it’s justified, like it is with Maddoc? It’s so good. That scene of him sitting in the chair in the dark, the only light coming from his eyes? Stunning, 10/10, no notes. Neither Grace nor Hob has really ever seen him like that in person…but both would like to, so if it’s wrong to be attracted to it, we’re all in good company!

For Grace, it’s an extension of wanting to be demonstrably desired: if someone is willing to go that far for her, it’s a bit of a turn on. It’s not specifically about the threat of violence, it’s about the effort and intent. Grace is just really into the nightmare side of Morpheus anyway, and that vengeful side is close enough to it that she’d be very, very interested to see that in a controlled environment.

Oh, for sure there will be! I’ve had a one shot idea that sort of centers around this that’s been knocking around since the early days of AHFH, so that Morpheus (and Hob) will be making their way on page at some point with a one shot! There will also definitely be some fun, lower stakes bits as well, because I think the set up of Grace telling Morpheus no, he can’t do that to the office creep only for Hob to be nodding and giving him the go ahead behind her is funny.

[non-un-topo]

💔👀🦅🎶🎢🥺 !!!

Apple, thank you love! <333

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Oh boy, well I did a number with Dahlia back in the day. Haven't written angst quite like that in a while and I still feel the urge to write a happy kid fic as an apology. My brother spits blood. hurt in a different way, with all the Booker & Nicky brotherly feelings.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Ohhh okie. I have greatly missed writing weird mysterious horror-themed fics but I get shy, so I've tried not to pull my punches this time and just have fun. I can tell you that it will take place in Iceland, in the early 17th century and will address a significant point in the lives of the guard---rather, who is left of it. It will be Nicky's pov (for reasons I cannot yet say other than it having something to do with centrality and steadfastness in the group dynamic---okay I just explained it lol), and I'm hoping to put more horror elements into this one too (Nicky + horror is my special tea). For this fic I'm really exploring liminal space, daylight horror (w the midnight sun), renewal, the sense of being adrift and the urge to keep everything and everyone together. So, uhh. Angst. I'll say one more thing just because: There is an inciting incident that occurs before the plot begins. It's what ends up convincing them to take a break from their search for Quynh and settle on solid ground. It's also why I'm writing it in Nicky's pov and why he has this pervasive sense of losing his footing, or being sent adrift. 👀👀

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I outline like a beast. Usually I prefer to have the entire plot from start to finish outlined in bullet points before I start properly writing.

For my current wip I have three different documents and then the fic itself. Are the three documents comprehensible? Do they make sense? Are they more than just random philosophical thoughts and ideas and scattered research notes? Nah. But they get more organized with each new document lol. Sometimes, though, when the writing bug hits I just write a whole oneshot without planning too much.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do!! I have very specific songs for very specific moods. Sometimes soundtracks, sometimes opera or classical music, sometimes like... weird medieval music. For my current wip I've been listening to three main songs that encapsulate the whole vibe of the fic: Your Bones by OMAM, Familiar by Agnes Obel, and Caesar by The Oh Hellos.

I tend to listen to the same artists over and over, or sort of atmospheric instrumental stuff. I found this yesterday and it's really gotten me in the writing spirit!

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Honestly, Dying of the Light was a pretty insane experience, both in terms of writing and just its plot. I had thousands of words written, then scrapped almost all of it and re-wrote almost the whole thing in one sitting. I was up at 4am when I wrote the goat scene and I think I finished around 6. All its wild trippy moments come from the fact that I was literally losing my mind a bit at the time lol. Bad life circumstances, but it ended up being one of the fics I'm most proud of.

But in terms of plot only, I think Tangerine and Roc was kind of wild. It has a lot going on thematically and plot-wise, and has a longer word count.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I don't have a knack for fluff, but I think I might have a soft spot for that sort of casual, close and familiar family dynamic? Like I hadn't realized how many moments I'd written in which one of the queer quartet members is doing another one's hair until I read them all back lol.

Casual intimacy and platonic touches really get me in my feels. Specifically Andy's affection for any of the other characters (back of the neck touch my beloved). Dancing makes me feel insane, I love it and need to write more of it. Same with platonic cuddles. I definitely have a soft spot for pals sitting around a fire and drinking/dancing/laughing. Makes me feel alive <3 Like: Yes, that's family.

[akannuoli-aatteet]

I have not listened to the Cub and the Caterpillar after the first and only time and I might be remembering a lot of stuff wrong but I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about the part, when Ongenagama's sister asked her why she'd chosen Mooti for her lover (since pretty much everyone assumed they were dating), Onganagama answered: "Mooti. Is a Friend."

Ongenagama's words have they stayed in my brain. Literally living rent free. The way she says 'friend' just fills my heart with sunlight and love.

The absence of the word 'just' in that sentence is so important to me and probably gave five years to my lifetime. I'm. So. Fucking. Sick Of HOW IN EVERY SHOW THEY UNDERVALUE THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP. BY SAYING "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS".

IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING THAT PEOPLE ARE JUST FRIENDS.

That's stupid! You can be friends without the just. Friendship is not inherently a weaker love than romance. Friendships can be life changing and as or more significant than romantic relationships, yet still romance takes the higher value in media and life, cause I guess, friendships aren't as exciting as romantic relationships as a concept can be. I need more stories about friendship that don't take the bond for granted.

"Mooti. Is a FRIEND", she said, but not in the way where she would be hiding her true feelings of romantic love. She said it with absolute honesty with all her heart and she meant it with her whole soul. She knew that any partner she could have in the future, she would not have shared the same kind of experiences that she had with Mooti Qobaa.

I feel like in that moment, in that single, one-syllable word, Unati fucking succeeded to encapsulate their whole journey and everything they went through together, their deep love and understanding for each other.

Mooti, for the first time expressing disdain for the sun, and Ongenagama saying: "I'll offer some shade", while looming over the nocturnal and providing him a shadow. Ongenagama running with Mooti on her back as a cocoon during daytime. Her making progress on their journey while Mooti sleeps. So efficient.

They just get along so well. They just work together. She is hardly annoyed by his pessimistic yapping and Mooti is grateful for having someone like her and just. Protect him and be with him and experience life with him. They let each other be without any expectations of who they should be. Their dynamic just is so great cause its pretty much just Mooti being petty and making enemies, causing problems and generally being a dick while Ongenagama takes usually a backseat. Their comedic duo is just too beautiful.

The way when Mooti lost his arms after being a dick to the fish spirit and Ongenagama pleaded on her knees asking for forgiveness for herself but moreover for Mooti, like the noble fighter she is. And the spirit decided to grant Mooti fish flounders because of Ongenagamas humbleness. The fact that Mooti was supposed to be the more charismatic one but Ongenagama ended up doing a lot of the persuasive work.

AND!!!! The cutest cutest thing ever! Is the fact that when Mooti was granted his arms back, the first thing he did was hug Ongenagama. Right after he had gotten them, he rushed to celebrate with his Friend and finally had the chance to hug her and express, express his love for her. They love each other so much. They like each other so much. The fist thing he used his arms for was hugging his best friend.

THE FIRST THING HE DID AFTER GETTING ARMS WAS HUGGING HIS BEST FRIEND.

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH.

I just feel like Ongenagama and Mooti's relationship had so much unspoken mutual understanding and respect. They genuinely like and respect each other. They seek comfort in each other. They're totally different people but they understand and accommodate to each other. They chose to be with each other. They choose to be with each other.

It just feels like all of this and more were said in the word 'friend'. when Ongenagama said "Mooti. Is a friend." Like every experience they had had, that was hidden away to the outside viewer, showed itself a bit in the honesty of Ongenagama's tone and cadence. She said it with such meaning that her sister could've almost understood how much she meant by saying calling Mooti a friend. They've been so much through together.

Its like they invented a new meaning for this word, they made it feel so full of love, life, appreciation and understanding. Ongenagama and Mooti redefined friendship and the people they met who thought they were dating, couldn't understand the feeling they have for each other. People can love each other without any kind of romantic tension and attraction. they are underestimating Mooti's and Ongenagama's ability to love each other.

I feel like this post is not good. I might make edits later and so on. I cannot truly capture what I mean and what I feel.

Thank you, 3BH.♡

[transfennecbuddy]

So apparently I'm on an Azari binge? Cause I just found Shadow Shadow by Azari?? I mean, it's freaking good and I'm not mad, but I'm sensing the beginnings of a trend, lol.

Anyways! I just have to say! This song starts off good! Like, it's slow-ish at first (can't really say slow since it's still kinda poppy and I'm still grooving) but then it just commits to a real boppy beat and that made me love it already!! I love songs with a nice quick beat and this doesn't disappoint!! And I love the music in this song! Something about the underlying notes just makes it even better. It's like—and I apologize in advance but this is the only way I can think to describe it—it's like the first note is nothing much on its own, but then the second adds something similar to the futility in Reincarnation Apple (by PinnocchioP) but less sad, like you're being chased and your pursuer knows you can't escape and is gloating about it. And it's so raw, so nakedly triumphant and scornful and derisive that it feels visceral. And the third note carries some of that same energy but just less heightened, and the fourth both brings the series back to the original note and is mocking again, like "Of course you can't escape, you dumb dumb" but smug and from the pursuer's point of view. (I... may have listened to this song too much, lol. Also, with this context, the clapping at the beginning sounds like an audience watching your demise, as emotionally detached from you and what's actually happening as someone watching TV!) It all is SO GOOD, I love it so much and that little series of notes going down then coming back up slowly has so much in it that I keep replaying this song to soak in all those emotions and in that moment. Like you can try to encapsulate just how it makes you feel but you can't quite express those feelings and they never quite fully soak in so you keep replaying the song to try to fully experience the music, but again it feels a little like some of it is sliding off like water on a duck's feathers and repeat cycle. This is the kind of music I get stuck in my head for days, that I literally bop to until I have to listen to it outside of my head! This is the music that feels like getting close to pure bliss!! MM!

BUT THEN. THIS SONG GETS BETTER! It switches to a slower, more defined bop, and GOSH it's BEAUTIFUL. Like, it feels like a heartbeat, literally just beating in my chest, taking over my whole train of thought, and dictating the mood and speed in which I exist. But sometimes it swirls into a smooth curl of a thing (like instead of sharply there bass beats, it's the lyrics swirling around the straight line that the beats lay out), WHICH ADDS. SO MUCH SWAG. And it's so swaggy, it's so self-assured and smug, that I cannot help but dance! And this is something that you can't do a choreographed dance to (not literally, but like when you first hear it, you're too filled with emotions to try and do a choreographed dance) so every movement is just an expression of the pure joy this song brings. And again, you try to define the beats and the emotion you feel with your movements, but you can't translate all of it. (This is another good part of the song. c:) This song is so good that it takes over a part of my soul!!

BUT THEN the song gets FASTER ohmygosh. And there's no lyrics or anything to define, so you can just extremely bop your head and get out all of the undefined emotion the rest of the song caused. (Like, I bopped my head so hard that my glasses fell off. Multiple times. Eventually I just left them there and picked them up after.) And then the lyrics come back!! And the note progression!! And it all feels so chaotic and full and quick like you're running for your life!!! I love!!!

And then, finally, the song must end. All of the extra instrumental leaves and the applause comes back and it's just the lyrics and a bit of the beat. And then it all falls off entirely and vanishes, leaving me disappointed and switching the loop feature on to hear it again.

(ALSO! When I first heard this song in full, I listened to the automatically created YouTube topic video thing, where an artist is a topic and any song made and/or sang solely by them is added to that extra channel. You know the thing, right? Hopefully, cause I don't have a better explanation. Anyways, so I listened to the actual video for this tho and the art?? Is so good??? I love it ohmygosh it's beautiful MM!)

So lol, guess I found a new (one of my) favorite song(s). And yes, I got a lil obsessed with this song after listening if you couldn't tell. This was the song I was talking about last week. (...I really should make a playlist for all the songs that make me feel like I'm feeling the gates of heaven, hm.) Anyways, seems I might be checking out a few more of Azari's songs maybe! I kinda hope! But I must go now! Writing this reminded me that this song existed (after I found another good song last week, hence why I forgot to actually write this ( -. _-. ) ) so I shall now be doing my homework to this song shortly!! Seeya!

[k-s-morgan]

I have to admit the arc im most excited for you to write for Those Gentle Slopes from Sebastians point of view is your invented arc Game No. 6. I absolutley love this arc, I think it perfectly encapsulates everything I love about their dynamic and I can't wait to see Sebastians thoughts on it. It's so good it should be Canon. There's so many great moments for both of them as characters. Obviously, Ciel's fake poisoning will be super interesting to see, but there's so many smaller moments where I catch myself desperately wondering what Sebastian was thinking! The moment Ciel proposes the game, and Sebastian seems to literally demon vibrate with excitement. Ciel's move with the blindness. That hand hook!!! When Ciel wins the first round and they have their graveyard rapport that Ciel feels is ruined by Sebastian and he instantly goes cold and withdraws. The cup throwing incident. The removal of the disobedient game piece. There's so many little moments that you brought to life so wonderfully. I think you put a lot of artistry into these lovely details and it's so exciting to experience as a reader. I reread this arc all the time!

Anyways, hope you're having a great day and everything is going okay for you. Can't wait for the next update for Jack the Ripper Arc and beyond!

Oh wow, thank you so much, I admit I don’t even remember some of these moments at this point :D I’ll be re-reading these chapters for Sebastian’s POV. 

It’s one of my most favorite chapters as well, writing it was fun! Well, writing about their games is always fun, and I have a couple of more similar ideas for the future. I love seeing Sebastian and Ciel being so in tune with one another, both throwing themselves into their game fully and trying to outdo each other. They bicker, they argue, they come up with the ways to gain advantage, but when needed, they unite as one team against everyone else. 

Losing this game so spectacularly was never in Sebastian’s plans - in fact, knowing Ciel and being a demon, he took certain steps to make certain that Ciel would not win entirely. One of those teachers wasn’t a criminal. He’d never expected for the tables to turn like this :D 

And thank you again, reading your ask gave me so much joy! I hope you enjoy the update.