#they were talking about whether they can trust the applicant to not share her parents beliefs

[abysscronica]

Hello! I’m here to ask for it on the behalf of some people here, so could we get a birdie and drake headcannon where birdie does get pregnant and they raise their child?

Thank you so so so much :) ❤️

Sure, and I apologize for the MONTHS this took me to get to. I'm doing the pregnancy in this post, as it got quite long already. If someone is interested in the first period of raising the baby together, please send another ask.

Biride gets pregnant with Drake's baby. [headcanons under the cut]

it was an accident, she was on birth control, but somehow it happened

they were quite shocked when they realized

they discussed whether to keep it or not - with her job being a soldier, pregnancy would mean an immediate suspension

but, for some reasons, they cannot bring themselves to end the pregnancy

after a pause, they look at each other in the eyes, and they know

birdie applies for pregnancy leave, which is very much frowned upon, especially by Sakazuki

the Fleet Admiral asks her if she's sure, several times, and implies there will be consequences for her career

she stands her ground, but she's sweating inside. eventually, she gets permission

when he hears about Sakazuki's behaviour, Drake is enraged

he immediately submits his own application for leave and declares he intend to stay by his wife's side all the way through

Sakazuki is furious but Drake is such a high and respected Vice Admiral, he cannot make too much of a fuss about it

birdie tells Drake he's an idiot for taking it so badly, but inside she's deeply touched and can hardly believe such a man loves her so much

morning sickness is quite bad at the beginning, so Drake being around turns out to be a blessing

he's very supportive, stands by her side at all times and is very attentive

even rubs her back and holds her hair back when she's throwing up

initially birdie hates to be so vulnerable with him around but she slowly comes to rely on him, crumbling into his arms after a particularly brutal nausea attack and letting him carry her onto bed

after the first period, the sickness gets better and they both become calmer for a while

birdie is quite bored at home by herself

birdie convinces him to resume his missions for a few months at least

he does, but hates to be away from his pregnant wife, so he's particularly curt and brutal with his enemies

reads a lot and her mind wanders to Aokiji, she'd like to share the news with him

this thought often triggers sad moods

Koby, Helmeppo, Tashigi and the others do their best to keep her company when they can

Smoker too often drops by to check on her

he's the one she talks about Aokiji too, as the two used to be friends

slowly and naturally, Smoker takes it upon himself to be a guide to her, since Aokiji is not around anymore

eventually, Drakes stops his missions altogether and remains with birdie for the last couple of months of pregnancy

he is the perfect cravings superman. she can wake him up in the middle of the night craving the most exotic meal, and he'll pull it off for her

doesn't matter if he has to scout the entire Marineford in the dead of the night

they also take a habit of bathing together at the end of the day

always ends up with big birdie nested between Drake's arms as he washes her hair

they still have sex, although he's extremely careful and rarely resolves to penetration

birdie is frustrated about it but he's adamant

it's also very hard for him because he's weak for her pregnant body

she realizes and torments the poor man

in the end tho, she always does her best to satisfy him

when the baby kicks for the first time, they are both startled

it's really happening, huh

they're taken over a wave of violent love for the little being growing into birdie's womb

but there's also fear

birdie didn't have parents, and Drake had an abusive father

they wonder if they are up for it

they talk about it, and realize that the trust they have in each other is enough. together they can do it

the delivery is messy. birdie's labour is long and very painful

Drake almost kills a couple of doctors because they don't seem to take her pain seriously

he stays by her side the whole time, takes her screams, insults and threats

he feels terrible that she's the one who has to get through this

but everything fades away when the baby is born

they both stared at him in disbelief, immediate love pumping through their veins

when the three of them are left alone in the hospital room, Drakes tears up while holding them both

he never thought he could have that kind of happiness

birdie affectionately taunts him

that night, when they're asleep, a tall shadow lingers on the other side of the glass, watching over birdie, and then the baby

the baby is the only one that sees it, and even grabs its finger before it disappears into the night

the day after, all their friends come visit, they bring gifts, flowers and food

even Sengoku stops by

Smoker tells birdie he's proud of her, and Aokiji would be too

unfortunately, birdie has not enough milk to breastfeed

after a few frustrating attempts, they switch to formula

the first few weeks together are extremely stressful and magical at the same time

[lilyminer]

Tw some horrible homophobia

Me sitting in the back of my moms business waiting for the summer camp I’m helping at to begin. She explains that someone she’s considered hirings brother was kicked out of the house in his early teens with all his belongings burned on the lawn because he is gay.

[nblenasabrewing]

Does Lena have PTSD?

This excellent post from @drummergirl231-2 goes into a detailed analysis about Della and the examples showing possible PTSD. I, being who I am, wanted to look at the same for Lena. Full credit goes to them for the idea and format!

According to the DSM-5, in order for a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, they must have a certain number of symptoms from eight categories: Criteria A through H.

For a diagnosis of PTSD, someone needs: to meet Criterion A to have at least 1 symptom from Criterion B to have at least 1 symptom from Criterion C to have at least 2 symptoms from Criterion D to have at least 2 Symptoms from Criterion E to meet Criteria F, G, and H

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. I do NOT have a degree in anything related to psychology and simply enjoy dissecting the layers of a fictional character. If you feel you fit any of the criteria, please see a professional for a real diagnosis. This isn’t something that can be easily self-diagnosed, and a professional diagnosis would open you to more opportunities for help.

Lena does and doesn’t fit the criteria in general for PTSD. She’s certainly suffered from traumatic events, but the event is more... her entire life. She’s a classic child abuse victim, which makes her more of a candidate for C-PTSD. 

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape. Being stuck with Magica for fifteen years absolutely contributes to Lena’s current issues. C-PTSD and PTSD share similarities, there are a distinct differences - mainly that PTSD focuses on one event and the effect it has on a person long term, while C-PTSD focuses on years of repeated trauma. However, there’s no approved criterion yet for C-PTSD. So I’m using the PTSD criterion with some added explanation where C-PTSD would be applicable. 

Criterion A: The traumatic event

A person must be exposed to one or more events involving threatened or actual death, threatened or actual serious injury, or threatened or actual sexual violation in one of the following ways:

Direct involvement

Witnessing the event happen to someone else

Hearing about it happen to a loved one

Repeatedly hearing details about traumatic events, such as police officers repeatedly hearing stories of abuse

The obvious example here: Lena effectively died. Twice. Following that, she was trapped in a realm where she couldn’t be seen or heard by anyone and she couldn’t touch anything for six months (give or take). Her first interaction with anything since she had been trapped there was smacking the Boggle case in Friendship Hates Magic! And even she’s surprised by that.

In addition, she spent fifteen years with Magica in her shadow, who effectively acted as an abusive parental figure. She’s proven to be an expert in gaslighting, and knows exactly how to manipulate Lena - by hanging the promise of freedom over her head and reminding her repeatedly that people will think she’s a monster if they find out the truth about her.

Criterion B: Intrusive Symptoms

Expected or unexpected reoccurring, involuntary, and intrusive upsetting memories

Repeated nightmares related to the traumatic event

Some form of dissociation, such as flashbacks, where the individual truly feels the traumatic event is happening again

Strong emotional distress when exposed to internal or external triggers associated with the traumatic event

Strong bodily reactions (such as rapid heart rate) when exposed to reminders of the traumatic event.

Nightmares: While we can’t say for absolute sure that Lena has nightmares outside of Magica’s influence via the helmet in NOKH, the fact that no one is surprised by her nightmares does seem to imply that’s she probably had more than she’s letting on. Lena’s biggest fear is turning into Magica, after all - it’s no surprise she would have dreams along that line.

Emotional distress, strong bodily reactions: These really come out in Violet’s library, when Lena gets overwhelmed and tries to hide. The fish-eye view of everyone trying to talk to her while she sees Magica over their shoulders was most likely meant to imply she was having at least the start of a panic attack.

In addition, her reaction to Webby calling her (looking like Magica) a monster was pretty extreme. Again, the dream world setting makes things a bit wobbly, but given everything we know about Lena up to this point, and the fact that she yelled at Magica for saying they’re both monsters, it feels safe to assume she’d be angry and upset and scared if anyone ever called her a monster (again, something Magica constantly used against her.)

Criterion C: Avoidance

An individual with PTSD will frequently avoid reminders of the traumatic event in one of the following ways:

Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that trigger memories of the traumatic event

Avoiding people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations that bring up memories of the traumatic event

Whether the nightmares were caused by Magica or not, their effect on Lena is real and pretty easy to see. She sets up an entire sleepover just so the kids can help keep her awake. Avoiding sleep to avoid nightmares is pretty extreme.

She also continues to keep secrets from everyone despite Webby’s constant reassurances that they all care about her and don’t think she’s anything like Magica, because the alternative is having to talk about it or worse, have her fears confirmed.

Criterion D: Negative changes in thoughts and mood

The inability to remember important details of the traumatic event

Persistent and elevated negative thoughts about oneself, others, or the world

Exaggerated self-blame or blame of others for the cause or consequence of the traumatic event

Pervasive negative emotional state (anger, fear, shame, etc.)

Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

Feeling isolated or detached from others

Difficulty experiencing positive emotions

Lena’s opinion of herself seems to be pretty low. We only get one episode to really see it, but her fear of turning into Magica and active attempts to avoid such an outcome definitely make it seem like she still considers herself “evil”, and is trying to make up for it. She also readily gives in and says, “I am her”, essentially giving up on herself.

The dream adventures also excellently illustrate how Lena feels “Othered” from everyone else - they get butterfly wings, she gets weird monster wings. She falls behind at Dewey High and is separated from the others. She’s the only one in Louie’s dream, aside from Louie himself, to experience any sort of physical change. Even when she tries to be happy with them, she can’t keep up the facade.

And before all of this there’s the classic example of her being jealous of Violet (under the guise of protecting Webby from being tricked again). She immediately assumes the worst of Violet and follows Webby around telling her not to trust Violet.

Criterion E: Alterations in reactivity that started or worsened after the traumatic event

Irritability or aggressive behavior

Impulsive or self-destructive behavior

Hypervigilance (feeling constantly on-guard, or like danger is lurking around every corner)

Heightened startle response

Problems with concentration

Sleep disturbances, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless sleep

Lena’s personality in season one was mostly that of the sarcastic, irritating cool teenager who can’t be bothered. Under that, she was an unwilling slave to Magica, and while she did show irritable tendencies toward her, those can be forgiven as “Magica is terrible and provokes her.”

Season two, on the other hand, shows us a much different teenager - one who snaps easily and seems constantly frustrated by her own perceived shortcomings. Those emotions, of course, come out on the other kids (i.e. snapping at Huey and Violet). And while all of that can be attributed to her inability to sleep, which is being driven by Magica, Frank’s already said this isn’t the last we’ll see of Lena’s emotoinal growth and negative feelings.

Criterion F: The above symptoms must last for more than one month.

Obviously time is relative in Ducktales. Given everything that was going on around them, we can assume she’s been home for around a month-ish. Donald left for a month-long cruise two episodes before Lena came back, and everything after that has to have taken place within that month or it would have been way too obvious something was up. And again, Frank has said this is going to come up again. But even while she was still in the Shadow Realm, she was showing signs of trauma.

Criterion G: Distress from symptoms significantly impairs the individual’s ability to function in multiple areas of life (social, occupational, etc.).

While we haven’t seen much of Lena’s daily life, we do know a few things - before returning, she was living in Webby’s shadow, presumably following her around and getting comfortable in her shadow-y life. Violet throws a complete monkey wrench into that comfortable life, and Lena reacts... poorly, to say the least. She initially refuses to take responsibility for the tulpas feeding off her own negative feelings, continuing to project all the reasons she hates herself onto Violet (”She’s a spy, she’s a second-rate me,” etc.).

In NoKH we see that the triplets aren’t quite used to the fun, happy persona Lena tries to project, which immediately gets a frustrated yell and fire flaring up. She’s so worried about trying to be Good that her anxiety bubbles over into her life. She’s also constantly keeping secrets, something that is, unfortunately, normal for her, but not normal overall.

Criterion H: The symptoms are not due to substance abuse, medication side-effects, or another condition.

So the real issue comes in here - while there’s no medication or substance abuse, there is an outside force. Most of what we see of Lena’s symptoms are due to increasing sleep deprivation via Magica’s brainwave helmet. By the time NoKH starts she’s already gone at least several days without sleep, and it’s obvious the dreams are deeply affecting to her, to a point where she arranges an entire sleepover with her friends just to keep from going to sleep. There’s no way to know what she was dreaming about (although I have a few theories), but it almost certainly involved Magica, the main cause of her trauma. And we see how understandably upset she gets when she’s finally face to face with Magica.

In conclusion:

Lena is a complicated character with a lot of different factors playing into who she is, but there’s little doubt that after fifteen years of emotional/psychological abuse, two deaths, and six months trapped in what could almost be summarized as an isolation chamber, that Lena has some serious trauma. And while Magica influenced a lot of NOKH, it should also be noted that Magica, as her abuser, most likely acts as her trigger now. She spends the entire dream sequence running away from Magica, terrified to confront her. And while she has an amazing, empowering moment at the end of the episode, I’m sure this is going to come back up again.

(***All GIFs by me)

[felicia-cat-hardy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get Relationship Advice Here

[ghoestys]

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about 

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 

i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 

personality 

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

[shannonbussberg]

Shannon Marie Bussberg is a psychopath who caused me great harm in many ways. I'm writing this as an explanation to warn off any who come in contact with her. I'm not trying to exact vengeance on her. The only thing I want from her is the money that she stole from me. A sincere and deep apology, of course, would be nice, but she would never do that. The first part of the writing below largely comprises something that I sent to Shannon recently, and the rest is addressed to you, the reader. Please keep an open mind.

***

(Note: I sent an earlier version of this writing to Shannon, hoping that she would make restitution. She said that she wouldn't, and that she came here to live with me to help me with my depression. Complete BS. Shouldered no blame at all.

Shannon,

As you know, you stole, through forgeries, all the money I had, and you put me in deep shit, not to mention throwing me into tons of debt from all the credit cards you took out in my name. I was in trouble with the IRS over the documents you forged, my credit was nonexistent, and I was psychologically destroyed. You put me in a space that I would never trust anyone ever again. You know all that you did to me, and you never tried anything to make it right.

Although you cost me so, so much pain and suffering, I’m willing to let most of that go financially. But I want recompense for the money you stole and the inflation on that money. Also the damage caused to my teeth when I was unable to afford repairs because of your thefts. Steve might lend you the money--he helped you out financially when you got in trouble for taking money from credit cards under my sister's name. So maybe he'll do that for you now.

(You know, you used to tell me that you're going to Hell. I of course assumed that you were exaggerating. Now I wonder what all other things you're done. An aside: you used to tell me that you would never pay back your student loans, and that as a result you'd have to go to school periodically for the rest of your life to avoid paying the loans back. That did bother me, because it basically meant that you'd be stealing from other students in the future. More recently I saw that you'd somehow got a master's degree. That seemed strange, since you're not a good student--having me do as much as your school and work stuff for you as possible when you were here. So I assumed that you got the degree from online courses, as part of your loan payback avoidance plan. Sure enough I see that your school has optional online coursework.)

If you don’t try to make things right, here’s what I will do. First off, I’ll tell the truth to your whole family. (It was so horrible to have to listen to your mother try to “explain” to me that you were living with me in order to try to “help” me--a lie you told your parents in order to cover the long period while you were not working, while living on the stolen money. Apparently you told her that you were my caretaker of some sort. I'm definitely going to set her straight on that.) My story will be a complete one, and you know that I don't lie. Plus I have *tons* of documents to back me up—everything from police and post office documents, to the forensic document examination report, to copies of the actual documents that you forged. (Plus I became something of a document examiner myself, so that people could see with their own eyes that you’re a forger. For example, doing your school years, you changed the way you form a particular letter--for example, in the forged signature for my last name--in a way that is nearly completely unique in this day and age. And the documents you created have all the hallmarks that document examiners know about forgeries.)

But I will use the internet as well. Social media of all kinds, of course. Forums, relevant sites. Anyplace I can find, with, as before, documents that back me up. People need to know who they’re dealing with in their lives.

***

To the reader: Shannon Marie Bussberg and I live in different states, and met online through a kinky match site. For a long while, we communicated with email and text. Then she told me that she was entering summer school at a prestigious university near me. This was a total lie, as I later learned from them when I was contacting them for writing samples for the document examiner. She ended up living at my place while she pretended to go to school. Then she stayed here with me after school supposedly ended for the term, and lived here for years, meanwhile stealing everything I had (except for a half ownership in the family house). She worked for a little while, but soon stopped, preferring to bleed me while she destroyed me. I loved her, which was a huge misjudgment on my part. In my defense, she hid her lies very well; she is a very good psychopath, and I never noticed any lies while she was here. After she used up all of my money and more, she stole from my sister, who was not in love and less gullible and vulnerable than I. That put the police on her tail, and Shannon, seeing a bleak future ahead for herself if she stayed, went back to Indiana. She, no doubt hoping that everything would blow over and she'd be able to return to continue parasitizing me further, perhaps taking the house (she had wanted to marry me, and I suspect that was the house was her objective for that). I truly thought she was innocent, for way too long. But since she was now back in Indiana and no longer had access to my mail (though she wanted me to send my mail to her, for her to "sort"), a letter from the IRS, telling me about taxes that I knew I didn't owe, was shocking. I still thought that, somehow, she was innocent, but before long I realized the truth. Looking back, I know that she only came to live with me for two reasons: my trusting vulnerability and her unusual sexual proclivities. She never loved me. The bottom line, for readers that encounter her, is that Shannon is a psychopath, is a very convincing liar, and neither looks nor acts like a psychopath. You should skip first impressions, and observe her for a while. I'm particularly concerned for her son, and the effect her behavior has on him.

On to my tidbits directed to Shannon.

⦁ 00, which was our code for a particular form of sex practice. I'm certain that's the main reason that you came to this city. The practice was disgusting and dangerous for me. And you should know that I’ve suffered permanent serious physical damage because of it. Maybe I should describe it in detail, but I'd truly like to avoid sharing it in public if at all possible, even though it gives a great insight into your evil. I'll probably wait for a little while to see whether you're going to make things right, and if you don't, give a more full account. There’s so much related info to tell people, such as the time you tried to drown me in the bathtub. Keep in mind, Shannon, that the story makes you look far worse than me.

⦁ You told the police—TWICE—that I sexually abused you. The irony, of course, is that our roles were exactly reversed. It’s interesting that, when I told the detective that I wanted to press charges against you, he predicted, matter-of-factly, that you would make that claim against me. At the time I didn’t believe him, but he was right. By his statement I guess that many women lie a lot about such things when claims are made against them.

⦁ When you stole the car (yes, OF COURSE I have documents about that as well—and I talked to the prosecutor later), you left a lot of my CDs in there. Then, when I got furious with law enforcement and the judicial system for picking on my poor, innocent (sarcasm), girlfriend, I persuaded you to go to your home state with me so that I could try to straighten things out for you. I don’t know why you agreed to go there, because of course you wouldn’t let me talk to the prosecutor and thereby learn the truth. More important these days is that you wouldn’t “permit” me to go to the police to pick up the CDs from the car, obviously because you were afraid of hearing the truth from them. The result is that I not only didn’t get the CDs, but I didn’t even remember all of the artists and titles, so that I couldn’t replace them. Of course, that's just one of many messes you left behind for me to try to straighten up, such as the reader you stole from the library, the tons of library fines over books you stole, all the services you secretly attached to my landline, and the bill that you ran up on the cell phone that was under my name but that you were the one that used.

⦁ When you decided to screw me over, you knew that any letters and such sent to my address increased your chance of being discovered. So you went to a nearby town's post office, and opened a post office box there. You even added my dead mother's name to the box. I still have the forged federal application in your handwriting.

⦁ One of the writings you left behind was a letter to my money fund, telling them to make you the beneficiary if I die. You sucked up my money so fast and thoroughly that you never had an opportunity to actually send it in, but of course I still have it, with your handwriting. But the take-home message is that you were hoping for my death. Or maybe planning it? If you had played it straightforwardly, you could have just asked me to write it myself.  Back in those innocent days, I would have done it for you eagerly.

⦁ When you knew that time was running out between you and the police because you also stole from my sister, you prepared, behind my back, for your departure. You hid all kinds of your stuff in the attic behind the costumes you and I had gathered. That’s how I got so many writing samples for the document examiner to use. Previously I had written to your former employers for any scraps. Treasure trove, afterward.

⦁ When you left, we stayed in contact for a while, before I knew the full truth of what you had done. You asked me to mail your sewing machine to you, while you encouraged me to drink a lot of vodka so I’d finish the task. And you even had me send you money for food. You used me like a parasite does, knowing full well that I was going to have to go through total financial hell in the near future. What kind of human being does that to someone else? A psychopath.

⦁ I noticed that you were looking for a car right after you left. Which is really, really wrong, because I had no car at this point and you left me with no money for a car of my own. Which makes me wonder: there was a lot of money that we could have used to buy a car before, but instead you insisted on continually getting rental cars (supposedly paid for by your father, but really paid out of the money you stole from me). Why did you do that? Buying a car outright would have made my money last longer, so this makes no sense, even for a psychopath. Is it because it would be more obvious that I alone was paying for the car for the both of us?

⦁ I emailed with your former roommate or friend (was her name Elizabeth?—I can’t exactly remember, although I can dig it up if necessary). She said that you were the most deceptive person she’d ever met. I will give you that—you certainly don’t have the *appearance* of a psychopath, shy and quiet acting and all.

⦁ Afterward, in an email to Stacy, you said that my sister and I were totally screwed up. But neither one of us hurt anyone, while you stole from both of us and destroyed one of us.,

⦁ I remember when we were first started off with emailing back and forth, I was online, both day and night. Later I asked whether it seemed strange that I was always available, and asked what you’d thought about that. You said that you’d assumed I was a genius child, keeping school hours. I was shocked, because we were conducting some seriously kinky conversation. Didn’t you worry about damaging the kid psychologically? Nope, you said.

⦁ An aside: In college, you ran away without telling anyone, leaving people thinking, for a long time, that you were dead. (Documentation is available in newspaper copies online.) When you told me about it later, you showed me a picture of your father during the time your parents spent searching for you. He was exhausted and depressed. But instead of that making you feel bad about what you had caused, you were proud that you had evaded detection. At the time, I assumed that I was reading your emotions wrong. But I now know better.

⦁ I just remembered: Once you and I happened to be driving behind a strip mall after hours. A cop car started following us. You were cool. You suggested to me that I should get out and pretend to be examining the tire tread for a stuck rock. That worked fine, and the cop moved on. I told you that I had been nervous. You told me that you hadn't been, because you always assume that you are smarter than the police. That seemed incredibly arrogant to me. True, you might be smarter than some individual cops. But you don't have their training and experience, the capability to call other police on the radio for backup, and weaponry. Every once in a while you'd let such incredible arrogance show through.

⦁ I remembered this as well. Once you joked, about a woman whose child had been killed, that it was no big deal since she can always make another. After you left here, I read a lot of books about psychopaths, to try to figure you out. The author of one of the books told the exact same joke, as an example of how psychopaths have a lack of empathy. I always wondered whether you told the joke because you had read in the same book, while you were reading to try to understand your own self.

⦁ After the police went to Indianapolis to interrogate you, they told me that you'd agreed to pay me back everything you stole. But you never sent me anything at all. I aim to change that. Please don't make the mistake that if you just ignore this email, I will simply drop it all.

[kittensjonsa]

Otherwise, Engaged

The Proposal AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

—

Chapter 3

The trip back down to her floor was riddled with questions and confusion. Was there a plan she wasn’t informed about? A memo she missed?

Soon, Sansa found herself standing in front of Jon as he sat back down at his desk and whistled away, flipping through some manuscripts.

“I’m sorry… but what just happened? We’re not gonna talk about it?” Sansa had to ask.

Jon briefly glanced at her and then back to the manuscripts. “About what?”

“There… back in Mr Mormont’s office. Is there something I should know?”

Jon sighed and put down what he was trying to read. “Exactly what I said. We’re engaged.”

“Umm no we’re not. I’m your assistant.”

Jon sighed. “Not for long you won’t. You don’t think the second Aliser takes over, that you’ll still be working here? You’ll be out on the street by lunchtime with a box of your stuff.”

Sansa still didn’t understand. “And why would Aliser take over? Unless… you’re leaving.”

“I hope not. Listen, Sansa. My visa application was rejected. Because I’m Dornish by birth. Great leadership you have here banning a state just because they both couldn’t see eye to eye.”

WHAT THE HELL?

Sansa wanted to tear her hair out. “And what has that got to do with you and me being engaged Jon?”

Jon sat up at Sansa calling him by his first name. She rarely did so and he didn’t like it. But then again he deserved it, perhaps more than just a stink eye. For what he was about to do next.

“Look, Sansa. Here’s the deal. You and me, we’re engaged. We’ll file an fiance visa so I can continue doing what I do here. As long as I’m here, you have a job. And me, not here? You can kiss your dreams of touching people’s lives with your written word goodbye. Because you won’t have a job in any publishing house anywhere in the city. Unless you’re into those website blog thingies but I’m guessing they don’t pay enough to cover your rent. Is that clear enough for you?” Jon simplified it for her.

It was the harsh truth. As much as he’d like for her to soar and make something of herself, he was too proud to admit he didn’t want to lose Sansa as an assistant. She was perfect for him, intelligent, hardworking and sweet; and truth be told, they were in too deep. She knew everything about him and it was just so much easier having her around. He was just too comfortable with her by his side. Losing her would be losing a right arm. Jon wasn’t ready to give up just yet. It was a long shot but he vowed he’d make good on his end of the deal. Now… If only she’ll say yes.

Sansa needed to sit down, her legs were jelly. No, she wouldn’t agree to this. Why should she? She didn’t even like him to begin with.

“But…but.. it’s illegal. I could go to federal prison, Jon!”

Jon sighed and rested his head in his hands. “You won’t because we’ll get through it. Please, just trust me on this okay?”

Sansa drifted off in a daze back to her desk, still trying to comprehend what transpired moments ago. It was that uneasy feeling of dread, right in the pit of her stomach.

As usual lunch was a mad dash with Jon, though they both had their sandwiches in utter uncomfortable silence. She had nothing to say to him and vice versa. Until he told their driver to make a stop at the immigration office.

“What are we doing here?” Sansa asked zipping past the snaking lines following after him. Jon held up a folder and waved for attention from an officer. He had cut the queue and went straight to the front. Typical.

“Good day, officer. I’d like to file this fiancé visa please,” Jon requested politely yet ignoring the angry stares directed at them from everyone else waiting in line.

The officer rolled his eyes and shook his head at them as he flipped open the folder.

“Jon Snow? Please come with me.”

Jon gave Sansa a smug smile she wanted to punch right off his face but as usual she did not, and followed him to the office they were led to. After all, she was his fiancée. She’d play along for now, buying time, while she strategized a plan out of this soon to be hell.

They were led to a small office, bare with only a table and a few chairs. Certainly felt like an interrogation room, like the ones she had seen in cop movies. As the both sat down in silence, the door opened.

“Ah yes, sorry to keep you waiting. I’m Mr Qyburn and I’d just like to ask a few questions, if that’s all right,” a mousy gentleman entered, greeting them.

“You must be Jon Snow.. and you’re Sansa Stark?” he asked both of them.

“Yes, right on the nose,” Jon answered cheerfully, which was uncomfortably out of character for him, Sansa observed.

Qyburn leaned back as he eyed the forms Jon had submitted with interest. Suspicion, more like as Sansa watched him.

“Well, well. Fiancé visa. So, you’re engaged. Congratulations. When’s the big day?” Qyburn asked as he closed the folder.

Jon shrugged. “Haven’t decided yet but soon definitely.”

Qyburn only smiled. “Before we begin, I’d just like to ask - that this engagement is real and has nothing to do with Jon’s work visa being denied, is it? Because if I do find out that all this is just a sham, we’re looking at imprisonment. Five years minimum and a fifty thousand dollar fine. I just want to make it clear to everyone right here right now.”

Sansa glanced at Jon who was still smiling at Qyburn, playing the happy doting fiancé. I am going to kill him.

“Miss Stark?”

Sansa sighed. “Yes, we’re aware. And yes, we’re engaged.”

Qyburn’s brows shot up. “I see. How long have you known each other?”

“Three years.” Jon and Sansa looked at each other as they both said the exact same thing. So far, so good. It wasn’t a lie, they both knew that.

Qyburn continued. “And here it says, you’re his assistant, Miss Stark. Co-workers? Do your bosses know about this ? Is it allowed?”

Oh, he’s a pro. Shit.

Jon smiled at Sansa. “Well, as far as I know, I haven’t heard from the legal department since we told them. And yeah, everyone knows. It’s been such a relief, finally sharing this wonderful news.”

Liar. Sansa looked down and saw how her knuckles had turned white from gripping the seat of her chair.

“Oh really? Great. So, both your families know? I’m sure they’re ecstatic. Engagement parties and all that.”

Jon shook his head. “I wish. Nope. Both parents died when I was 16. No brothers or sisters either. Just me.”

Qyburn nodded and turned to Sansa. Her mind was blank.

“Yeah but we haven’t told them yet. We will this weekend. It’s my Gramp’s birthday weekend.”

“Oh how nice. And where’s that?” Qyburn asked Jon. And waited for Jon to answer.

Jon chuckled. “Oh, she makes all the plans. I… just go along. Tell him, sweetie.” Sansa rolled her eyes. Clever.

Well, Jon knew he wasn’t lying. Sansa did make all his plans.

“They’re up North. In Winterfell.”

“W-Winterfell.” Sansa heard Jon repeat after her. Sansa could feel Jon’s stare, those eyes laser-ing through the side of her head. Well, whether he liked or not,  Sansa hadn’t shared much about herself or any details of her life, in all of the three years she was working for him. How could she, it wasn’t as if he was the least bit interested. It was always ‘Jon Snow this, Jon Snow that or Sansa do this or Sansa do that’.

“Must be nice. I’m sure your family will be excited to learn that you’re engaged now.”

Sansa sighed. “More than excited I’m sure. I mean, with the engagement.. and my promotion.”

Jon coughed nervously, clearing his throat. “Promotion?” Sansa knew that warranted another stare from her boss but she couldn’t care less. She’ll broker a deal once this interview was done. Not going down without a fight.

“Well, I mean that’s why we didn’t want to share it too soon because we’re co workers and with my promotion coming up. I mean, it would look bad. Right, honey?” Sansa played along, giving Jon’s arm a good firm squeeze. It was a warning squeeze. She was in on it too, but on her terms. Sansa was going to make it very clear.

Qyburn watched them both with amused interest but Sansa could sense his suspicion growing by the minute, by the way his eyes darted from her to Jon.

I cannot go to jail for this.

“Wow, okay. So, that’s that then. I don’t think we have the time for all the questions but I will call on you, you know pay a visit - maybe speak to your neighbours, colleagues, kind of get to know you both a little bit from other people. You know, just to make sure both your stories add up.”

Jon and Sansa glanced at each other. “Sure,” they both said.

“Good. Then we’ll be meeting again. We’ll be in touch.” Qyburn stood up and led them to the door. Sansa almost couldn’t stand out of sheer anxiety, but she smiled politely back and left the room with Jon.

Sansa didn’t feel like heading back to the office. She needed to clear her head. The engagement suprise, the interview with Qyburn, Jon coming for Gramp’s 80th, telling her parents she’s suddenly engaged- she needed a drink to process all of it.

“Promotion eh? Nice touch. Good one, Sansa.”

“I meant it.” Sansa had enough excitement for today. And she certainly had enough of Jon. She needed the day off.

“What do you mean? That’s never going to happen.”

Sansa glared at him in disbelief. “Were you not in that room? Did 'five years in prison’ mean nothing to you?”

“Well, yeah but it’s not like-”

“Oh no. You want your goddamned visa? You’re going to need me. And if I’m in on this, we’re going to do it on my terms. We clear?”

Jon put his phone away. “All right. What are they?”

“Make me editor. Fire Aliser, I’ll take his place. You know how hard I’ve worked. I want his office and my own assistant. And a pay raise.”

Jon scoffed at her demands. “That’s some serious ransom, young lady. I mean, maybe I could pull some strings but I can’t promise-”

“Uh huh. Okay. Then, we’re done here. Good-bye Jon.” That was it, Sansa couldn’t risk going to prison for a man who only gave her nightmares.

“Wait! Okay, fine. All of that, fine. I’ll see what I can do. Let’s just… do this okay?”

“Okay good. But you need to ask me nicely first. You didn’t ask. It’s very ungentlemanly of you.” Sansa was on a roll. She quite liked having power over him, finally calling the shots. Not how she would’ve liked but she’ll enjoy it just the same.

“What do you mean ask you nicely?”

“Ask me to marry you. Propose.”

“You mean right here? Now?” Jon looked around the busy intersection.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

Jon sighed. “Fine. Sansa, marry me?”

Sansa crossed her arms disapprovingly. “That was the worst proposal in the world. Do it properly.”

Sansa was definitely trying his patience but he had newfound admiration for her now. Plucky lass.

“Sansa, my dear sweet little bird Sansa, would you pretty please with cherries on top, marry me?” Jon finally asked, on a bended knee no less. He looked ridiculous but gasps and applause were audibly heard nearby. At least it looked real.

Sansa searched Jon’s face as he waited for her answer. It was fake proposal but the words had a slight effect on her still. This was not how she imagined being proposed to. And especially not by Jon.

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm but yes, I’ll marry you. See you at the airport at 8 am tomorrow. And I’m taking the rest of the day off.”

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, Kay, you have been accepted to AL for the role of Andromeda Tonks (FC: Keira Knightley). Fantastic job, Kay! I loved your application. It was equal parts sweet and serious, and you can really feel the inner conflict in poor Andromeda when it comes to loyalty to the family she was born to and loyalty to the family she ultimately chose. I think you have a great grasp of the plot and I’m excited to see the way you navigate through some of the familial plots that you mentioned in your application. Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist.Welcome home, we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — kay age — 30 pronouns — she/her timezone — mst/gmt-7 activity level — currently it would be about a seven out of ten; i’m a teacher, and it’s summer break! I have a lot more free time now but i’m also trying to keep myself busy with more meaningful things as well, so my activity is not as steady as it might have been in years past lol

IC Overview

name — Andromeda Ismene Tonks, née Black age — 30; her birthday is March 1, 1955 gender — cis female sexuality — bisexual but that’s a very closely guarded secret; she had a very brief, very secretive relationship with a girl during her time at Hogwarts, but she knew what her family would think of that and nothing came of it; Ted came along not long after that, and she’s never looked back.

patronus — a cat, hers specifically takes the form of an Egyptian Mau; she summons the Patronus with the memory of when she and Ted took Dora shopping for her first year school supplies

boggart — Dora, dead by Bellatrix’s hand - as much as it would kill Andie if something happened to Ted, it’s nowhere near the pain that would come if something happened to Dora. Her greatest fear has always been that her family would find and hurt Dora somehow, and now that she and Cissa have reunited, Bellatrix is Andie’s greatest worry

IC In Depth

personality traits — +loyal, compassionate, thoughtful: As a Black, she was raised to prize loyalty; Andie took it to mean loyalty to her family above all (and as she grew older, the definition of family changed) and it’s a trait that she still prizes. To those who have proved themselves trustworthy, Andie extends all the loyalty in her. Despite her upbringing, Andie has always been compassionate - it was why she first wanted to be a Healer, to help those in need. Her bedside manner is well-known at St. Mungo’s because of this. If someone comes to Andie for advice or help, she takes her time to consider what she’s saying; this is true in everything she does. Andie was impulsive when she was younger but has since learned the importance of stopping to think about her actions.

 -withdrawn, smothering, hesitant: Although her loyalty extends to the people she cares about, Andie finds it difficult to open up to those she doesn’t know well. Her list of friends is small - she excuses this by referring to her family difficulty and how she was never sure who she could trust when she was younger. Those who haven’t earned her loyalty aren’t people she trusts or wishes to spend much time with. She wants to help others but often can try and do too much for them, whether it’s a patient at St. Mungo’s or her friends. She would do anything for them, and needs to be told to do less when she oversteps. Her thoughtfulness sometimes leads her to hesitancy; she doesn’t want to do the wrong thing, so she does nothing. It’s a trait she’s trying to work on - to be sure she acts when she ought to, while still giving everything the consideration it needs.

character biography — 

Andromeda Ismene Black came into the world early in the morning on March 1, 1955. Her earliest memories are of her sisters: Bella racing over after Andie fell; Cissa’s tiny fingers curling around Andie’s own, much larger finger; the three of them hiding in their playroom after a burst of accidental magic sent everything toppling from the walls; Andie and Cissa crying when Bella went to Hogwarts, then Bella and Andie feeling equally heartbroken to leave Cissa behind. Her whole world revolved around the two of them, and Andie couldn’t imagine anything better.

Her Hogwarts years are memories of friends. At first, the other pureblood girls in Slytherin, and occasionally the other houses: these are the girls she knew from childhood, the ones her parents approved. Then, slowly but surely, other people began to inch their way in. Andie first began to question the pureblood ideals she’d been taught when she was a third year, partnered with a halfblood in Herbology, and realized that the other girl was just as good as Andie herself was - maybe even better. From there, more fractures appeared as Andie observed her Muggleborn and halfbood peers and realized that blood purity did not equal better magic, and certainly didn’t equal better people.

Then there was Ted. They became friends during her fourth year, when Andie was able to show that she was not her sister, she was kinder than Bella. They were friends, and quickly became the best of friends, without the hint of anything romantic on Andie’s part. She had not yet reconciled to the idea that she might have to leave her family someday, and still planned to follow through with the expected pureblood marriage at some distant point in the future. Then there was a very pretty halfblood girl in Andie’s fifth year, though nothing came of that. And then near the end of Andie’s sixth year, she realized Ted was … handsome. Kind. Good. Things she wanted from a husband. They started dating in her seventh year, and Andie never regretted that choice.

Her memories after Hogwarts are a blur of Ted and St. Mungo’s. She talked her parents into letting her go into Healer training; it allowed her to sneak time with Ted and still pursue the thing she loved, and bought time before she had to make a decision about her family. She knew it would come to a head, that this situation could not last forever. She knew that she didn’t share her family’s beliefs anymore. She knew that leaving them would be the hardest thing she ever did - maybe even impossible. And so she put the decision off, as she trained and met up with Ted and fell more and more in love with him until everything broke. She tried to plead her case, and her parents issued their ultimatum: the family or Ted. And with that choice before her, she could only do one thing. She left her family in November, 1974.

Since that time, her memories have been full of Ted and Dora. Dora was born in August, 1975 and Andie’s world shifted irrevocably. Her priority is to keep her daughter safe - her laughing, rambunctious, miraculous gift, who can change her appearance at will (a fact that brought her parents immense anxiety when Dora was little). Their home is a place full of laughter, cozy and homey in a way that Andie never experienced when she was younger. They stayed out of the war, after long discussions over many nights about their responsibility to society and their responsibility to their daughter. Andie goes to work and does her duty, and comes home and dotes on Dora and keeps the house tidy and loves Ted. And since the war’s end, she cautiously lets Cissa in as well, gets to know her little blonde nephew and tries to mend fences with her youngest sister and hopes that the future is as bright as it seems.

plot ideas — 

1) I love family plots, so I definitely want to plot with Narcissa and Sirius! I feel like there’s a lot of possibility for angst and drama with Cissa and Andie, just given how their reunion can be seen as manipulative on Cissa’s end. And since Sirius was Andie’s favorite cousin, and she probably always saw him as very immature, I like the idea of her getting to know this different side of him. 

2) Since Andie is a Healer, I think it would be really interesting to explore her working to help people aligned with the Death Eaters, either currently or in the past. Andie takes her vow to help others very seriously, and she would give an injured Death Eater the same consideration she gave someone from the Order. 

3) This is a more personal one, but I think if there was a Ted writer, it would be interesting to see Ted and Andie thinking about having more kids since things seem so peaceful. 

4) Andie doesn’t have many friends, and I would love to see her making some new ones! She’s an introvert by nature, but immensely loyal to those she deems worthy so it would be interesting to explore that, and see her deciding what proves someone’s loyalty. 

5) As things start to heat up again, I think it would be interesting for the Order to approach Andie about being a sort of Healer on call for them. She doesn’t want to fight and doesn’t necessarily want her family involved, but she would find it difficult to turn down that sort of request - she believes that the Order is right, and now that Dora isn’t a baby anymore and is safely at Hogwarts, Andie might be more inclined to aid the Order.

extra —

Just as a note: I was hoping to change Dora’s canon birth year from 1973 to 1975, just to give Andie and Ted some breathing room in their relationship, rather than them having a baby when they were 17/18. I can adjust that back if you don’t approve, but it felt like a better call for this group. I also wrote the app as Andie and Ted being together for 13 as in they’ve been dating that long, and said the marriage took place in the year after they finished Hogwarts, again just to give Andie a little more time to mature as a person before she immediately left her family and married Ted. (Also this is all a little moot since the age change; I think I changed the dates appropriately but if not, that’s absolutely something I can edit in the future!)

Character tag on my personal blog

Andromeda pinterest board

Amortentia: coffee, chocolate, mint - these are scents she associates with her home now. Coffee in the morning when she and Ted are waking up; chocolate for stolen moments with Dora when they’re sneaking a treat; the minty smell of their toothpaste for goodnight kisses.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#1yrago Oh for fuck's sake, not this fucking bullshit again (cryptography edition)

America, Canada, New Zealand, the UK and Australia are in a surveillance alliance called The Five Eyes, through which they share much of their illegally harvested surveillance data.

In a recently released Statement of Principles on Access to Evidence and Encryption, the Five Eyes powers have demanded, again, that strong cryptography be abolished and replaced with defective cryptography so that they can spy on bad guys.

They defend this by saying "Privacy is not absolute."

But of course, working crypto isn't just how we stay private from governments (though god knows all five of the Five Eyes have, in very recent times, proven themselves to be catastrophically unsuited to collect, analyze and act on all of our private and most intimate conversations). It's how we make sure that no one can break into the data from our voting machines, or push lethal fake firmware updates to our pacemakers, or steal all the money from all of the banks, or steal all of the kompromat on all 22,000,000 US military and government employees and contractors who've sought security clearance.

Also, this is bullshit.

Because it won't work.

Here's the text of my go-to post about why this is so fucking stupid. I just can't be bothered anymore. Jesus fucking christ. Seriously? Are we still fucking talking about this? Seriously? Come on, SERIOUSLY?

It’s impossible to overstate how bonkers the idea of sabotaging cryptography is to people who understand information security. If you want to secure your sensitive data either at rest – on your hard drive, in the cloud, on that phone you left on the train last week and never saw again – or on the wire, when you’re sending it to your doctor or your bank or to your work colleagues, you have to use good cryptography. Use deliberately compromised cryptography, that has a back door that only the “good guys” are supposed to have the keys to, and you have effectively no security. You might as well skywrite it as encrypt it with pre-broken, sabotaged encryption.

There are two reasons why this is so. First, there is the question of whether encryption can be made secure while still maintaining a “master key” for the authorities’ use. As lawyer/computer scientist Jonathan Mayer explained, adding the complexity of master keys to our technology will “introduce unquantifiable security risks”. It’s hard enough getting the security systems that protect our homes, finances, health and privacy to be airtight – making them airtight except when the authorities don’t want them to be is impossible.

What these leaders thinks they're saying is, "We will command all the software creators we can reach to introduce back-doors into their tools for us." There are enormous problems with this: there's no back door that only lets good guys go through it. If your Whatsapp or Google Hangouts has a deliberately introduced flaw in it, then foreign spies, criminals, crooked police (like those who fed sensitive information to the tabloids who were implicated in the hacking scandal -- and like the high-level police who secretly worked for organised crime for years), and criminals will eventually discover this vulnerability. They -- and not just the security services -- will be able to use it to intercept all of our communications. That includes things like the pictures of your kids in your bath that you send to your parents to the trade secrets you send to your co-workers.

But this is just for starters. These officials don't understand technology very well, so they doesn't actually know what they're asking for.

For this proposal to work, they will need to stop Britons, Canadians, Americans, Kiwis and Australians from installing software that comes from software creators who are out of their jurisdiction. The very best in secure communications are already free/open source projects, maintained by thousands of independent programmers around the world. They are widely available, and thanks to things like cryptographic signing, it is possible to download these packages from any server in the world (not just big ones like Github) and verify, with a very high degree of confidence, that the software you've downloaded hasn't been tampered with.

Australia is not alone here. The regime they proposes is already in place in countries like Syria, Russia, and Iran (for the record, none of these countries have had much luck with it). There are two means by which authoritarian governments have attempted to restrict the use of secure technology: by network filtering and by technology mandates.

Australian governments have already shown that they believes they can order the nation's ISPs to block access to certain websites (again, for the record, this hasn't worked very well). The next step is to order Chinese-style filtering using deep packet inspection, to try and distinguish traffic and block forbidden programs. This is a formidable technical challenge. Intrinsic to core Internet protocols like IPv4/6, TCP and UDP is the potential to "tunnel" one protocol inside another. This makes the project of figuring out whether a given packet is on the white-list or the black-list transcendentally hard, especially if you want to minimise the number of "good" sessions you accidentally blackhole.

More ambitious is a mandate over which code operating systems in the 5 Eyes nations are allowed to execute. This is very hard. We do have, in Apple's Ios platform and various games consoles, a regime where a single company uses countermeasures to ensure that only software it has blessed can run on the devices it sells to us. These companies could, indeed, be compelled (by an act of Parliament) to block secure software. Even there, you'd have to contend with the fact that other states are unlikely to follow suit, and that means that anyone who bought her Iphone in Paris or Mexico could come to the 5 Eyes countries with all their secure software intact and send messages "we cannot read."

But there is the problem of more open platforms, like GNU/Linux variants, BSD and other unixes, Mac OS X, and all the non-mobile versions of Windows. All of these operating systems are already designed to allow users to execute any code they want to run. The commercial operators -- Apple and Microsoft -- might conceivably be compelled by Parliament to change their operating systems to block secure software in the future, but that doesn't do anything to stop people from using all the PCs now in existence to run code that the PM wants to ban.

More difficult is the world of free/open operating systems like GNU/Linux and BSD. These operating systems are the gold standard for servers, and widely used on desktop computers (especially by the engineers and administrators who run the nation's IT). There is no legal or technical mechanism by which code that is designed to be modified by its users can co-exist with a rule that says that code must treat its users as adversaries and seek to prevent them from running prohibited code.

This, then, is what the Five Eyes are proposing:

* All 5 Eyes citizens' communications must be easy for criminals, voyeurs and foreign spies to intercept

* Any firms within reach of a 5 Eyes government must be banned from producing secure software

* All major code repositories, such as Github and Sourceforge, must be blocked in the 5 Eyes

* Search engines must not answer queries about web-pages that carry secure software

* Virtually all academic security work in the 5 Eyes must cease -- security research must only take place in proprietary research environments where there is no onus to publish one's findings, such as industry R&D and the security services

* All packets in and out of 5 Eyes countries, and within those countries, must be subject to Chinese-style deep-packet inspection and any packets that appear to originate from secure software must be dropped

* Existing walled gardens (like Ios and games consoles) must be ordered to ban their users from installing secure software

* Anyone visiting a 5 Eyes country from abroad must have their smartphones held at the border until they leave

* Proprietary operating system vendors (Microsoft and Apple) must be ordered to redesign their operating systems as walled gardens that only allow users to run software from an app store, which will not sell or give secure software to Britons

* Free/open source operating systems -- that power the energy, banking, ecommerce, and infrastructure sectors -- must be banned outright

The Five Eyes officials will say that they doesn't want to do any of this. They'll say that they can implement weaker versions of it -- say, only blocking some "notorious" sites that carry secure software. But anything less than the programme above will have no material effect on the ability of criminals to carry on perfectly secret conversations that "we cannot read". If any commodity PC or jailbroken phone can run any of the world's most popular communications applications, then "bad guys" will just use them. Jailbreaking an OS isn't hard. Downloading an app isn't hard. Stopping people from running code they want to run is -- and what's more, it puts the every 5 Eyes nation -- individuals and industry -- in terrible jeopardy.

That’s a technical argument, and it’s a good one, but you don’t have to be a cryptographer to understand the second problem with back doors: the security services are really bad at overseeing their own behaviour.

Once these same people have a back door that gives them access to everything that encryption protects, from the digital locks on your home or office to the information needed to clean out your bank account or read all your email, there will be lots more people who’ll want to subvert the vast cohort that is authorised to use the back door, and the incentives for betraying our trust will be much more lavish than anything a tabloid reporter could afford.

If you want a preview of what a back door looks like, just look at the US Transportation Security Administration’s “master keys” for the locks on our luggage. Since 2003, the TSA has required all locked baggage travelling within, or transiting through, the USA to be equipped with Travelsentry locks, which have been designed to allow anyone with a widely held master key to open them.

What happened after Travelsentry went into effect? Stuff started going missing from bags. Lots and lots of stuff. A CNN investigation into thefts from bags checked in US airports found thousands of incidents of theft committed by TSA workers and baggage handlers. And though “aggressive investigation work” has cut back on theft at some airports, insider thieves are still operating with impunity throughout the country, even managing to smuggle stolen goods off the airfield in airports where all employees are searched on their way in and out of their work areas.

The US system is rigged to create a halo of buck-passing unaccountability. When my family picked up our bags from our Easter holiday in the US, we discovered that the TSA had smashed the locks off my nearly new, unlocked, Travelsentry-approved bag, taping it shut after confirming it had nothing dangerous in it, and leaving it “completely destroyed” in the words of the official BA damage report. British Airways has sensibly declared the damage to be not their problem, as they had nothing to do with destroying the bag. The TSA directed me to a form that generated an illiterate reply from a government subcontractor, sent from a do-not-reply email address, advising that “TSA is not liable for any damage to locks or bags that are required to be opened by force for security purposes” (the same note had an appendix warning me that I should treat this communication as confidential). I’ve yet to have any other communications from the TSA.

Making it possible for the state to open your locks in secret means that anyone who works for the state, or anyone who can bribe or coerce anyone who works for the state, can have the run of your life. Cryptographic locks don’t just protect our mundane communications: cryptography is the reason why thieves can’t impersonate your fob to your car’s keyless ignition system; it’s the reason you can bank online; and it’s the basis for all trust and security in the 21st century.

In her Dimbleby lecture, Martha Lane Fox recalled Aaron Swartz’s words: “It’s not OK not to understand the internet anymore.” That goes double for cryptography: any politician caught spouting off about back doors is unfit for office anywhere but Hogwarts, which is also the only educational institution whose computer science department believes in “golden keys” that only let the right sort of people break your encryption.

https://boingboing.net/2018/09/04/illegal-math.html

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: Frank needs a long walk if you guys are free Ava: He's got the Sunday blues James: well in that case, purely for his sake, of course Ava: I've fully cute baby come onto you and it's worked Ava: 😈 IOU some 🐶 treats James: you've got really long eyelashes, irresistibly so Ava: ☺️ Ava: You're irresistible in so many ways Ava: I'll count them James: out loud? Ava: Quietly out loud, anyway Ava: don't need to interrupt my parent's breakfast James: they're actually there? I was beginning to wonder if they genuinely exist Ava: 😏 Ava: surely you saw them once before James: I don't remember them ever being in my line of sight or hearing Ava: How funny Ava: Guess Buster was pretty sneaky Ava: or should we say, good at time management, that's the polished version of that James: you're very good at time management yourself Ava: True Ava: I'll take that as a compliment and ignore the unwanted parallel James: it was intended purely as one, we wouldn't have lasted this long had you not been Ava: I can be the sneakiest bitch if needs be, I don't care James: tempting as it would be for me to immediately insist that we test that out, I don't think we have to James: she definitely will have received the divorce application by now & she still hasn't come back James: or called, or messaged James: it's looking less like any of us can label this a holiday Ava: Wow Ava: How are you feeling? James: I don't know, it won't sink in, whenever my phone goes I assume it'll be her Ava: Of course Ava: It's been your life for so long now, and it's been so Ava: well Ava: for it to just be seemingly over, so unceremoniously James: she could walk through the door any time with a suitcase & a tan though, I'm well aware of that Ava: Has she stayed away this long before? Ava: Without contact James: she typically loves to tell me every detail of what she's doing when she's at her parents' villa, so no Ava: That's a good sign Ava: even if she does come back Ava: you've still filed for divorce, she can't ignore it James: I just feel like James: if it was this 'easy', why didn't I do it before? Ava: because it wasn't before Ava: you didn't have the tools then and she had more control Ava: what's important is you've done it now James: because she's right about me Ava: No Ava: she isn't right about anything Ava: least of all you Ava: she didn't ever take time to know you, how could she be James: because it's all there in everything I've done & not done, I haven't behaved like a responsible adult or someone will any backbone whatsoever James: I've let them all down, her included James: what kind of person marries someone they don't love? Ava: Someone trying to do the right thing Ava: What about all the things you have done? Ava: and not the things you're talking about, all the good, the showing up and being there, for them all James: that's the least I could do, isn't it? Ava: No one else did it Ava: it was you, James James: I know that but Ava: but do you Ava: she's admitted as much, even if she was doing it to be cruel Ava: she picked you for a reason Ava: you're a good person, that's all you've ever tried to be James: I'm the kind of person that's susceptible to her bullshit, a damaged person, a weak one James: it was good for her but it doesn't mean that I am Ava: being weak and damaged doesn't negate you being a good person Ava: just like her abusing that in you doesn't mean she's exempt from being a shitty person just because she's fucked up herself Ava: who isn't Ava: you've been trying, that's the difference Ava: and now you've done it Ava: despite years of being ground down Ava: that's not weak James: why do you love me, Ava? James: what do you even see? Ava: I see Ava: so much Ava: how considerate you are and kind, without even realizing or having to think about it Ava: and you're sharp and funny Ava: you're interesting, I could talk to you all day, about anything Ava: and you are a good person, you just are, I could tell that immediately James: I don't have to think about being kind to you, I want to James: & to be someone that you want to talk to all day, who makes you laugh & smile & who you can say anything to Ava: You are, you just are Ava: you don't have to try, not just because you want those things, you can't help but be those things Ava: I can't help but love you, though I want to too James: I can't help but love you either James: so I don't think we should try & do anything else James: I think we should do this properly now Ava: I can be your girlfriend? James: I want you to, whether she comes back or not James: because I love you, whatever else happens James: I'm in love with you Ava: I love you too Ava: of course I want that too, of course Ava: whatever happens James: I'll talk to your parents with you if you think it'll help James: or I'll continue having never seen their faces, whatever you want Ava: I'll talk to them alone first Ava: but I don't wanna hide you, need to Ava: there's no objection they can have that'll make me want to James: I can't make you the same promise, as much as Teddy had no objection when I initially broached the subject of meeting someone else once I'd finished the application, he's likely to feel different when he finds out it's you James: but even if we did technically need to hide, I don't want to & I won't Ava: Understandable Ava: I'm under no illusion my family will be thrilled but they'll have to get used to it James: as long as we don't also immediately announce an engagement or pregnancy, my parents will be fairly understanding, I'm sure Ava: Pretty much same Ava: It isn't like I'm making myself step-mother Ava: I'll assure them of that James: but I have no idea what I'm supposed to assure Jay of, she genuinely believes Chloé is on holiday right now Ava: The truth Ava: even if it's complicated, or there's parts you're unsure of, it's still the best policy Ava: you can't assure her she won't come back, no Ava: but your truth is that you've ended things and you want to look after them and you will Ava: and right now, it looks like Chloé doesn't want to share but maybe one day that will be a thing Ava: you don't owe Chloé anything, covering the potential hurt that might cause, definite confusion because Jay is so young Ava: but you owe yourself and her the truth of it, and she'll appreciate that, know she can always trust you James: you're right, of course you are James: I'm still trying to protect her, aren't I? She's not even here & I can't stop myself from covering for her Ava: and the kids too, but that's the most understandable instinct Ava: but I think long-term, hell, even short Ava: you can't lie to them, they know Ava: it's worse having this thing you don't talk about, aren't told about James: I know James: I can't remember my mum having a conversation with me about a single thing, not even the weather, my dad talks & she nods Ava: You don't wanna be that Ava: and you aren't James: I think we should move, not literally on this Sunday morning, I've not lost my mind completely Ava: A new place, a fresh start Ava: makes sense to me James: I want Jay to know it's different this time, real & definite Ava: That's a good idea James: the other side of the river maybe Ava: A real move Ava: I think go for it Ava: Whilst they're still young, it's not a huge upheaval, there aren't friends to be left behind really or any of that James: I'll be further away from you though Ava: I can get the tube Ava: anyway, I'm going into my last year, so I'll be moving too after that James: oh right, I didn't even think of that Ava: Don't you wanna know where my first choice is? James: do I, or will I be devastated? Ava: Goldsmiths James: Ava Ava: I told you my top three were in London, I ain't lying, like Ava: Great 🧠s maybe James: so you know what I need to ask, what I am asking Ava: It's best you still do Ava: just incase James: when did you decide what your 1st choice was, because if it was now, it shouldn't be James: not because of me Ava: It wasn't Ava: It was my first choice before I came to see King's Ava: and that didn't change that James: okay, good Ava: I promise Ava: I wouldn't do that Ava: if my first choice was on the moon, I'd still go and I'd still try to make it work with you James: I believe you James: I just had to say it, because that's not the kind of boyfriend I want to be James: one who holds you back from things Ava: You aren't Ava: I might not get in Ava: and that's still over a year away Ava: we don't need to rush anymore, we can just be normal Ava: as normal as anyone is James: you'll get in, we both know that James: & I'll be really happy for you Ava: 😊 Ava: I do hope so Ava: and it can be okay that that's for potentially more reason than one, can't it Ava: not a crime James: yes, it can be more than okay Ava: Good James: [actually adds her on socials because he can] Ava: Oh, hey Ava: you're cute James: that profile picture is James: when did you change it? Ava: a while ago Ava: you gotta catch up Ava: 😘 James: tell me truthfully while I do, am I the reason the relationship status 'it's complicated' exists? 🤔 Ava: Well, that's embarrassing Ava: that's about my OTHER secret relationship 😬🙄 Ava: You fool 😏 James: 😂 James: what's he/she like? Ava: Pretty special Ava: might be serious James: oh really? Ava: Yeah Ava: so I'm gonna be pretty busy now, don't think I'll have time to see you James: far too busy too walk your dog assumedly, I suppose I can do it for you, if only to show there's no hard feelings Ava: I don't even like being fake mean to you Ava: 🥺 James: I really want to kiss you every time you 🥺 Ava: Come for a walk with me and maybe you can Ava: at least kiss me goodbye at the end James: when Jay's distracted kissing Frank goodbye Ava: 😂 exactly Ava: though the way he slobbers is distracting James: he's good with her though, that aside Ava: He's a good boy Ava: he can't help being a bad kisser Ava: you could teach him, if you like James: if theory, yes, but in practice I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to what that would actually involve James: tell him it's nothing personal, but I don't want to kiss anyone but you Ava: 🥰 Ava: that makes my heart happy so I will break the news to him gently James: thank you Ava: 💙 You're the best Ava: Can I change my relationship status then? James: like you said, I've got lots of catching up to do James: of course you can Ava: [does] James: [imagine all the comments like with WHOMST cos she can't put who with obvs since he can't cancel his so it's just in a relationship] Ava: [jump in that inbox everyone lmao, that's how you could start a Nancy convo like oh you ain't ready] James: [that's a good idea tbh]

[tsukiyaki]

2020 LC: Session 1

Meeting dates: 1.29 & 2.14

exposed

adjective

not covered or hidden; visible.

in a vulnerable position or situation.

When the Lord said He’s taking me out of hiding this year, I didn’t realize the first person who would want to stop Him would be the same person who couldn’t wait for Him to follow through: me!

I came into this leadership cohort thinking it would equip me to help other people by refining my natural skillset. I came out of the first session immensely humbled and challenged. They clarified quickly that we’re not going to spend very much time on what we’re already good at, because that’s where most people choose to make themselves at home and stop growing. No, we’re going to dive deep into the things we’re naturally bad at, understand why we’re so bad at them, and then take tangible steps towards growth together, so every single person is held accountable on their journey from “accidental” to “intentional” leadership.

I realized that becoming a leader worth following comes at a hefty cost, and it feels like I’ve been making payments ever since our session last Wednesday. We could erect a tombstone in the conference room I was in: Here lie the remains of my arsenal of defense and offense mechanisms (e.g. pride, anger, contempt, complacency) that once kept me safe from the world and myself. 1994 (my first memories) -- ____. 

Overview

GiANT, the company behind this entire cohort, seeks to provide a set of vocabulary through visual tools to create an objective, common language that will transform leadership cultures. The end goal is to transform anyone who is willing to do the work into a “100X leader,” someone whose leadership multiplies impact. 

Because I’m not sure if I can just post all their material here, I will forgo sharing the actual visual models. But I’m more than happy to sit down in person with anyone who’s interested and discuss anything below that catches your attention!

Visual: Support challenge matrix

We each create a culture of leadership defined by varying levels of support vs. challenge. The 4 possible kinds of cultures in this model are as follows:

Protect: High support, low challenge -> Culture of entitlement and mistrust

Dominate: High challenge, low support -> Culture of fear and manipulation

Abdicate: Low support, low challenge -> Culture of apathy and low expectation

Liberate: High support, high challenge -> Culture of empowerment and opportunity

The purpose of this cohort is to help us become leaders who Liberate, able to calibrate our levels of support and challenge to others based on what they need to grow into their fullest potential. However naturally, we all lean towards either Protect or Dominate. And when we stay in either one of those for too long, we may swing to the other. Eventually, it’s likely we’ll burn out and land in Abdicate.

Visual: 5 circles of influence

Imagine 5 concentric circles. From inside out, you have Self -> Family -> Team -> Organization -> Community. These are the 5 circles of influence within each of our lives. The impact of the leadership culture we create will always trickle from the inside out, but not necessarily vice versa. This is why it’s essential and most effective for us to Liberate the Self if we want to become liberators in the rest of our circles too. 

Takeaways

Although neither of these models were new to me, they gave me the framework I needed to describe the journey I’ve taken so far in each of my 5 circles of influence. I had more time to get a really clear idea of where my starting line is by answering the question, “What kind of leadership culture are you creating in each of the 5 circles of influence?”

Self: Because I dominate myself all the time, I swing to protect when other people challenge me. I am hard on myself, and in that hardness, I leave little room for grace and forgiveness of failures. As a result, I want to receive only support from others. I’m dependent on other people’s support, hoping that will fuse with the challenge I bring into liberation. But the result is instead a disastrous combination of me acting out of fear and manipulation to get their support, only to not truly trust what they have to say because I never had the guts to ask them for the full story. I’m too terrified of discovering the truth to ask for honest feedback. But this year, I finally feel ready to stop holding on to a facade of happiness and self-confidence. I want the real thing, which is why I’m on this journey. And I wouldn’t be here if not for the liberators who have shaped me and shaken me awake:

The Lord, our God, the greatest liberator of all time.

A for showing me it’s possible for another human being to uplift and love me the way God does, that even I can allow someone to challenge and push me without needing time to prepare for worst case scenarios because I trust it’s safe for me to fail around him. He spurs me on to consider it worth the cost to become someone who can do the same for others.

My last manager for helping me climb out of my pit of despair at work and turning 40 hours of my week into something life giving rather than soul sucking. She moved a mountain I thought was impossible to move, and now I am forgetting what impossible means.

Auntie C for showing me what it looks like to be a liberator as a wife, mom, and mentor.

Havilah Cunnington and Bob Goff for the example they’ve set with their lives. I can always return to their teachings, writings, and experiences when I need a reminder that the kind of life I want to live is possible, and I owe it to myself and the world to not settle for less. 

Family: Historically, I have swapped back and forth between abdicate and dominate in this circle. Because of how I dominate myself, I brought the same harsh standards to my family. When I challenged them ineffectively for years and saw no change, it was easier to remove myself from the picture and do the bare minimum to get by. Because I failed to liberate myself, I didn’t feel like I could afford to extend high support to them. But in 2018, I had a life changing conversation with my parents. This year, I had another breakthrough with one of my brothers. In both situations, I stepped up as a liberate both myself and them, and that gave them the chance to do the same. Today, I no longer feel aggressively defensive around my family. But I think I lean into my natural tendency to protect instead because I’m often afraid of disrupting the hard-won peace we now have. Still, there are more moments than ever before when I see glimpses of liberation in our household.

Team: In this circle, there’s a fork in the road. When we’re talking church team, this might be the circle in which I most clearly liberate. It’s my passion, I believe in what we do, I feel incredibly high support and challenge from them, so I naturally can return the same. If we switch to my work team, I would say for most of my career, I’ve externally abdicated but internally dominated. But my last manager was such an incredible liberator to me in the year we had together, amongst humans, I credit her for single handedly turning my career around. Ironically, after having to switch managers recently, fear of the unfamiliar and hurt from having to leave a leader I felt so loyal to left me swinging to externally protect and internally dominate. I hypothesize that whenever I feel like I’ve lost something good in my life or I’m afraid I’ll lose something, I’m afraid to challenge so I protect, and where there’s a lack of goodness, I withdraw support and dominate.

Organization: I consistently and intentionally abdicate on this level regardless of what context I’m in because I have some inherent distrust of organizations that I still haven’t dissected yet. Maybe my mind just can’t wrap itself around the idea of an organization, and it won’t stop being repulsed by the idea of “the politics” that come with anything big enough to be called an organization. Because there are so many faces in an organization, and I don’t know and respect and trust every single one of them, the idea of taking ownership seems like too much trouble to be worth it. So I end up not even trying.

Community: I think more than half the time, I liberate. The rest, I still protect. If I protect for too long, I eventually snap and dominate. And if I do that for too long, it turns into my family situation where I give up and abdicate. This is the circle that’s most influenced by whether or not I’m liberating myself first. My community is the circle I draw from for support. They’re the ones I try to draw from to balance out the challenge I bring to myself. So when I’m healthy and not expecting them to fix me, I desire nothing more than to be a liberator to them. At my best, I really hone in on the gold in each of them individually and dream of the impact we can make collectively, and it’s my life’s passion to play my part in bringing it out of them. Relationships are everything to me, after all. It’s probably the best and worst thing about me.

Application

Proactively seek out people to keep me accountable at work over my mentality (e.g. make sure I’m doing things like responding to my emails within 24 hours and not procrastinating out of fear or apathy). - When will I start this? By the end of this week. - To whom am I accountable? My cohort’s core group members and A. - Next steps? Ask the 2 coworkers I picked to keep me accountable. Every time I want to procrastinate, say out loud why what I do matters to me, and declare that I am competent and equipped to do my job well.

Introduce my manager to the support challenge matrix. Ask for feedback on how I can be a better liberator to her and my team. Give her specific feedback on how she can support me better so that I can receive her challenge.  - When will I start this? Last Wednesday - To whom am I accountable? A - Next steps? Report on Marco Polo to the cohort how this went and everything I learned from it. Talk to me privately if you want to know details!

Stop judging myself for having weaknesses and making mistakes. When I need help, admit it, and ask for help. - When will I start this? Immediately - To whom am I accountable? My accountability group - Next steps? Combat the judgment that comes into my head by speaking out loud the words of support I need to hear. Pray to figure out what I need, who can provide that for me, and then ask for it.

Using the support challenge matrix, ask 3 people who know me to varying degrees and in different contexts for feedback on how they see me, and what I can do to be a liberator to them. - When will I start this? By 2/12 - To whom am I accountable? RHW girls - Next steps? Figure out who the 3 people will be. Reach out to the first person to schedule a time.

[mirajcnks]

ah hello everyone !!! i’m jules and wowow  i am so excite 2 meet u all and interact w all of ur dope charas :’) this is my Messy intro where im gonn a scream abt mira!! ok thank u for reading if u got this far jsdjfh

[ & ; * - cindy kimberly / pansexual / she/her ] isn’t it weird how close { amira 'mira' jenkins } resembles {cindy kimberly }? damn, i heard they are a { twenty } year old { undergraduate } and a member of { delta psi delta } studying { nursing }. outside of class { mira } participates in { soccer, photography & art} and their party anthem is { good as hell } by { lizzo }. 

amira was born on January 1, 1999 in Kona, Hawaii. she is actually the first baby born in the new year in Hawaii. her parents, dane and stella jenkins, were high school sweethearts & only 20-year-olds at the time of the birth of their daughter. 

her younger years were great, her parents spoiled her by taking her on trips and buying her whatever she would want. they treated her like a princess and soon anought she sorta turned into one.

but unfortunately when mira was 10 years old, her parents had filed for divorce and were currently fighting over who would she would live with. ultimately, amira’s father got custody of her during the week and she would visit her mother on weekends. 

dane jenkins, her father, is the co-owner of jenkin bros industries, which is a construction company. dane & his brother inherited it from their father and now run the business together. after the divorce, dane turned into quite the workaholic but still made time for his daughter

stella jenkins was a college student at the time, in which she decided she would drop out of school to become a full-time mother. during her time with dane she remained a stay at home mother but once they got divorced she started taking to online classes to finish getting her degree in social work.

she prefers to go by ‘mira’ instead of amira & will def give you the evil eye and a lil attitude if you call her by that. amira only allows close friends & family to call her that!

amira is daddy’s little girl & she wouldn’t have it any other way. her father treats her with everything she wants & give her all the money she wants to make up for not being home as much as he should. obvi one she will stop taking advantage of it but she is going to enjoy it while it last.

amira’s relationship didn’t really get much better after the divorce. sometimes she wouldn’t even go to her mom’s house on the weekend bc she was “busy.” eventually amira found out the truth, her mother had cheated on her father and was seeing some other guy instead of hanging out with her. what made it worse was she found out that he had a son, it made her feel as if her own mother would rather spend time with her son. amira never let her mother know that and still holds it against her till this day.

growing up with a decent amount of money had it pros and cons on mira as she grew up. she has grown to have a very luxurious taste. always has to the best of everything lol

ever since amira was younger she was always very bubbly and outgoing. she was actually vry into school bc she would get to see her friends.

she wasn’t a bad student, getting some A’s but mostly B’s but she really didn’t mind. she knew she couldn’t be the best at everything but at least she tried her hardest.

when amira started high school, her grades did improve but she herself got wilder. she was the biggest partier & pothead in the high school she attended. but no matter how wild she was, she kept up her grades & eventually made it to the honor roll.

also during high school, amira got really into creating art, whether it be painting, drawing or taking photographs. she also joined the soccer team to keep her busy but mostly to look good on her college application lmao

in her senior year of high school, amira decided to take a risk and apply to college she dreamed of going to, yale, doubting they would every accept her. but quite to her surprise, she was issued a half a scholarship at yale. she also turned out to be the valedictorian of her graduating class.

it broke her heart to leave her family. mostly her dad, in Hawaii but she wanted to pursue her dreams and she knew that they have her back no matter what happens

in her freshman year amira didn’t know what she wanted to do until she took some biology & anatomy classes & realized that she wanted to be in the medical field, ultimately deciding on nursing as her major

amira also continued to play soccer in her college career & joined the photography & art club to help her mind stay focused throughout the year. 

amira also rushed the delta psi delta sorority & decided to join when they offered it her. at the beginning she thought it would be a waste of time but she fell in love with her sisters & couldn’t imagine not being in the house with them.

ANyways i’m totally rambling rn so i shall stop her and move on to the next thing !!

PERSONALITY

she paints liKE ALOT !!; usually having something to do with the landscapes or people or flowers bc those are all her fav things. she does draw as well but prefers to paint. amira also has a passion for photography & often paints some of her own photographs

she’s vry protective of her friends and of herself

even though she is protective af she is very open to new people in her life! never wants ANYONE to feel left out when they around her.

she def puts up a front when sharing stuff about herself and her emotions unless she rlly trusts you

she likes to think she is badass as fuck but in reality, she is loser lmao!! ( laughs at her own joke)

speaking of jokes lbr, she pretty funny and sarcastic so she isn’t the only one laughing

however sweet she seems, she can also be very manipulative when she wants to be. knowing she can bat her eyelashes and get the world.!!

she tends to try to avoid most direct confrontation even though she’s really good in social situations and appealing to people uwu

always thinking, always learning, always caring

an actual flower

loves tattoos but only has like two!!

she looks at life in terms of opportunities and has lots of wishes and goals !!

she wants to live a vry luxurious life when older even though she is now. but she wants to be able to say she earned it herself

vry romantically compulsive which can be a problem lol!!

she constantly longs for partnership; whether it’s romantic or not

when it comes to money, she can be frivolous in her spending habits one day, and frugal the next

she is a problem-solver and will spend a lot of time helping others solve problems if needed

v good at talking and well-liked

while her spirit’s lively, it is also cunning & she often acts without thinking, throwing herself into things

loves to party obvs !!! tries to go out every single night bc why tf not lmaoo

honestly she is the life of the party. whenever the party is dying down or just getting started she is the first one on the dance floor. or she is walking around making people take shots with her

she is also very open about smoking pot and is def down to try other shit even though she hasnt been offered it yet

she doesn’t have a good sense of organization but she loves life and all it has to offer <3

but some cool ass plot i’d like to see is GIRL SQUAAAD, best friend, high school friends, exes, rommie, enemies, fwbs!! , party buddies or literally ANYTHING THAT SMELLS LIKE DRAMA and just anything bc i’m plot trash!!!

[ariadnediggle]

                                          re-uploaded ! thanks tumblr ! 

❝ Deceit is so natural; but a wolf in sheep’s clothing is more than a warning . ❞ KIM JI WOO? No, that’s actually ARIADNE DIGGLE. A SIXTH YEAR student, this RAVENCLAW student is sided with THE DOUBLE AGENTS ( DE.) . SHE identifies as CIS-FEMALE and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be DECEPTIVE, HEARTLESS, and VENGEFUL but also WITTY, MOTIVATED, and CHEERY.

STATS.

NAME: Ariadne  Persis   Diggle         NICKNAME: ari, baby. AGE:  17 years old.                           BIRTHDAY:  September 27th. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual. GENDER: cis gender NATIONALITY: great british.              POB: Oxford. BLOOD STATUS: pureblood              HOUSE: ravenclaw WAND: cedar / dragon heartstring / 11” / surprisingly swishy. PATRONUS: unable to produce one but claims that it’s a penguin.

please read 2 the end 4 some connection ideas and spicy memes !!

IS A MONSTER CREATED OR BORN / THE CHILDHOOD.

The diggles on the whole, are a slightly out there family that never really made any sense.

 the kind of pure blood family that people looked at, and wholly wondered whether those blood lines were … really okay. smiley, happy, carefree,      but maybe a few gobstones short.

 Dedalus Diggle, his son Dion Diggle, daughter -in -law, Cybil Diggle, all held such similar personalities to them. It didn’t mean that they were anything less than incredible wizards, but their personalities often overshadowed any individual merit they held.

They worked just outside of London in Oxford, but travelled to Wizarding London on most days for their day jobs, all three of whom worked in a selection of odd jobs from the doing something or other at the ministry, to being a wizard tailor. but all three ( mostly just following dedalus ) were heavily involved in the Order at some point.

Another thing everyone in the family shared was the eccentric names, so it was no surprise when Cybil and Dion christened their first and only born, Ariadne Persis Diggle.

unforutanetly, their naming habits wasn’t the limit of their eccentric behaviour.

To Ariadne’s parents  it was so easy to misplace time, like the mad hatter, plans were lost or all together forgotten, they never got to anywhere punctually — - cybil would even go  on record stating that Dion was late for their wedding ; their child birth. meme for reference

 not that they would ever forget their daughter ; but they did. they left her places all the time; dragon alley, the super market, the forest. she got used to spending time by herself, ariadne learning to look after herself from a young age because she simply just couldn’t trust her parents to look after her. a

 terrifying concept that a child would have to fend for themselves, cook for themselves; not because their parents didn’t love them, but that they just forget to show it. 

part of this was because they were all truly different. ariadne wasn’t scatterbrained, she wasn’t forgetful, or flippant. she was dedicated & serious & incredibly intelligent.       what other child by age 4 could cook for themselves? dress themselves? take themselves to school?  

  ariadne was a child genius ;  a fact that their pre-school had to tell Dion & Cybil several times before they finally got the message;   Ariadne desperately needed a tutor.

In fact, it wasn’t even the seventeen messages, letters home, meetings with the head ( all of which went dutifully ignored ) it was the fact that at the age of 5 — one powerful sneeze almost completely blew up one wing of the small school. and it wasn’t a request,   it was a, “politely let go & no longer wanted at their ‘fine’ institution. “

it was at this point, dion and cybil began to see their own flesh & blood as being a bit of a pain /    annoyed with how much upkeep it required to take care of someone so inquisitive. they tried not to convey this to ariadne. but ariadne was smart, and gifted

ventually, ariadne grew very against her family and what they stood for, but as such a young child at the age of 7, she had no idea how to express this burning inside her heart, so she hid her aggression behind a loving smile, and took out pent up aggression on bugs she found in the garden. tearing them apart, and looking up what she saw in her families dusty, never used library.

eventually, the diggle’s gave out and hired a tutor, and hired the first person they could find with little regard for screening the applicants to find the best fit.   and so, they let a death eater and all the ideologies they carry with them into the diggle household.       see,  

after the whole kindergarten incident,      word of the young diggle girl had spread through newspapers, and the inside talk of the other pureblood families,  it had been noted with interest, so when the job opportunity opened up XYZ I GUESS THIS MIGHT BE A WC  were more than happy to step in to act as the guiding compass in young ariadne’s life.

for  the concept of a child genius, a young witch showing very strong potential in a wide array of magicks, was an interesting concept – and with such a gullible, malleable, manipulatable family? well, [ it’s free real estate meme !]

from the ages of 5-11, ariadne was tutored & trained in a wide variety of disciplinaries. along with this, a distinct hatred of muggles, a disbelief in absolutely everything her parents stood for, how her parents ignorance for her was how all order aligned people were. that they were ineffective; and useless, and whilst not necessarily the scum of the earth ( that was just mud bloods ) they had little to no use. but whilst they didn’t offer much, they were easy tools to be used.

she had tutoring to what was already 5th year material before she even started her 1st year, plus rudimentary training in extremely difficult types of magic such as apparition and legilimency. 

it wasn’t tutoring; it was indoctrination, pure and simple. but they were kind, they were nice, they indulged Ariadne’s interest in learning and inquisitive mind, all the whilst feeding it the less than wholesome ideals that the death eaters had founded themselves on.    

They also mentioned the fact that some people she would meet in life, those horrible, horrible people, were awfully bigoted against these blood purity ideas - the superior ideas - that they held. 

They told her, when dealing with these “acceptance for all / muggle lovers”  people, to keep quiet, keep what was said in lessons between the two of them, because in their words “ there’s no reason for you to go through the trauma we had.” but that wasn’t their reason, no, that was never their reason. They knew full well to get such a death eater loyalist inside the “other sides” ranks would be a feet that required years of predisposition and nudging into a perfect personality. 

Even after Ariadne turned 11 and no longer needed to be homeschooled, she continued the lessons throughout her holidays, constantly having them topped up with the most recent ideology, constantly nudged like a pawn on a chess board into the perfect position. 

And for all Ariadne’s brains,   she was trusting, and easily controlled, for she was near-sighted and once her trust was earned, it was almost impossible for it to be destroyed.

She was sorted into Ravenclaw, inspired by her desire for knowledge, her inquisitive mind that seemed far larger than the rest of her tiny frame ( standing at a whole, 4’9). 

But she was never really the best student,   because she already could do everything that was taught, she lacked the challenge she was so desperately searching for. 

But she couldn’t really find it ever at hogwarts,    so she just often choose to not go to class in favour of going to the library to learn things she didn’t know. And whilst she did often do well on exams,   the teachers would always end up docking her for her … less than sportsmanlike behaviour throughout the year. A plague to anyone who ever vaguely cared about house points.        

But other than annoying other teachers,     she wholly seemed to be a popular girl. She could never be found without her trademark smile, lopsided grin, infectious giggles. 

She had such a sunny demeanour that contrasted so greatly with her rotten insides. She was friendly to everyone, somehow, only interacting with the muggle borns through an unseen gritted teeth, and glares every time no one was looking. 

It also made Ariadne an obvious choice to join the M.A, said everyone with a resounding cheer. It made perfect sense! 

She was from a family that had long been associated with the Order of the Phoenix, she was incredibly smart and great in a duel, and seemed to get along with everyone ! 

Ariadne didn’t know what to say, but agree to sign up, secretly writing an owl to her tutor under the cover of dark. They got her in touch with the heads of the D.E’s at Hogwarts and they came to an agreement, an arrangement. With her tutor to vouch for her loyalty, Adriane signed up for the Death eaters, a heavily guarded secret known by only a select few. 

Ariadne personally loved the freedom that the flip-flop nature of her identity,  the secrecy, the manipulation. 

All in all,   the war feels something of a game to her. 

Much like how she is a pawn in somebody else's game, she feels a certain sense of control from being vested in both sides, that she has some sort of ability to manipulate everything as she sees fit, that perhaps she is playing the protagonist like in one of the stories she read growing up. 

But in reality,   she is still just someone else’s pawn, who will end up branded as a traitor, a wolf in sheep's clothing, no matter who ends up becoming victorious. 

to people in the MA, ariadne is a very well respected, dedicated (and unfortunately trusted) members. to the DE she is ALSO just a member of the MA unless they’re in the higher leadership !

hi ! thanks 4 reading to the end,  do i have any wc? you ask ! not really ! but here’s some concepts i’d love 4 ariadne !

- she can have so many friends ! just so many friends ! give her friends you cowards! - i feel like she’s been in a few relationships / all were quite innocent and ended on seemingly okay terms but maybe there’s an unspoken bad blood ! she’s cute and a pureblood, great for everybody ! - people who lowkey don’t like her or find her annoying / not that they doubt her alliance,    but maybe some (lower rank) DE who think she’s a blood traitor or overly nice?       or just anyone who thinks her smiliness is annoying. - .... . prankster partner ......    lowkey demon thinks it’s one of the easiest way to take her aggression out on people she doesn’t like .. .. - the ONE person who once really saw ariadne snap for whatever reason / very fun plotting possibilities !!!

[northofsomewhererp]

Your Name, Age (17+), & Timezone: mars, 22, cst ? i think?

Roy Rahim turned 33 years old on October 7th. He’s a police detective in Greensville. His face claim is Riz Ahmed.

Admin note: *SQUEALS*

Bio: 

It was hard for people to find words to describe Roy Rahim. He was a criminologist turned police detective who kept his life, for the most part, private. He had a few close friends he trusted and sisters he talked to every day, but even they didn’t know what he was up to most of the time. They knew he was immersed in his work, locked in his apartment with a few beers and some take out, and that was it; that was as much as he let them know. He kept his job and personal life as separate as they could be, and his meticulous personality made sure they stayed that way. He’d made that mistake once before, with Isolde, and he vowed to never do it again. 

Their marriage ended abruptly. He should’ve seen it coming - they weren’t happy anymore - but the months prior had been pretty good. He thought they were fixing up their marriage, working through their issues. He’d been more supportive of his wife, and they’d been going to couples therapy, which was all he’d ever wanted. Roy, always obsessed with the mind and how it worked, was completely baffled by the way his wife’s did; she’d go from warm and affectionate to cold and emotionless in less than 3 seconds. Isolde had convinced Roy to give them a second chance after he slid the divorce papers across the table during their 3 year anniversary dinner. A heartless move, but the only way she would listen. Eyes wide, she cried that it wasn’t fair - she thought their marriage was going great, and if it wasn’t, that she was willing to change. 2 months later, Roy got home to find divorce papers stuck to the fridge with a souvenir magnet from their honeymoon in Hawaii. It dawned on him later that Isolde didn’t want to fix their marriage, she just wanted to have the last word. 

Around the time his divorce finalized, Roy’s grandfather, Apa, fell sick. He decided to take some time off work to return home to Windsor, Ontario to take care of him and spend time with the rest of his family - his grandmother, Ama, and his two sisters, Seline and Zara. He hadn’t seen them in a while because Isolde always conveniently fell sick when they were supposed to travel to Windsor - she said it was probably because she didn’t feel very comfortable around them (– and funnily enough, neither did they), and the nerves made her sick.

Roy’s parents died in an accident when he was 6 years old. They were headed back from the airport after celebrating their 8 year wedding anniversary when a drunk driver crashed into them. Roy and his sisters were waiting for them eagerly at their grandparents house, but they never arrived. The police showed up at their door with the news, and everything that came after - them going to the police station, Roy’s grandparents identifying the bodies, the funeral - was completely blank for Roy. Before he knew it, he was living with his sisters at his grandparent’s house and his parents were gone.

This loss was very hard on them while growing up, a little harder on Roy because he, in his grandfather’s words, was the man of the house now. He had to be tough and suck it up because men didn’t cry. Although he had always been very sensitive, he believed that for the longest time, and shoving those feelings down for so long made him cold. He shed all of that - those ideologies, those thoughts - when he moved out to go to college in Boston. It was challenging everything he knew about the world and about himself, but he was different now. He could be vulnerable when he wanted to, he showed affection and love and kindness. Working at the police force was like moving back a hundred years, but then he found that his empathy, his sensitivity, his passion was what made him good at his job.

Three weeks into taking care of his grandfather, when Roy was starting to think maybe he would stay a little longer, maybe take a break from work, got a call that they needed a detective to investigate a few murders happening in a town in North Carolina. They were stumped and needed fresh, new eyes for the case, and they thought he was perfect for the job. He debated rejecting the opportunity and staying for a month or two, but his Ama and Apa told him to go, that they would be fine. He said goodbye, packed his bags, and left. Unable to find any housing in this other town, Roy rented an apartment in Greensville which was close enough. It was supposed to be temporary - he was supposed to return to Boston when he was done - but he decided to stay and work there instead. He’d made a few friends already, and it wasn’t half bad. 

Activity (1-10): 6? More or less?

Have you read the rules?: removed

In the event that you leave, can we keep your biography for future use? I’m going to say no, sorry love u.

Any comments/questions?:  I’m really eager to play Roy, but you can 100% hold this application until I’m back because ya girl is about to request a teensy hiatus. I just wanted to send it in because I just finished his bio and I’m excited about him. (and I hope you are too. I love him)

Sample (2+ paragraphs):

Roy’s apartment building held meetings on the first Tuesday of every month to discuss different, very important building matters; whether they would use blue or green tiles for the pool (they picked blue), whether they’d put a fountain in the back garden (which was voted no by Norma Jane Grace-Barnard because she was afraid her son, the 20 year old Harvard student, could fall in and drown), and the latest was whether they would fix the elevator because it had broken down 3 times in the past month, and Roy had been in it two of those three times. It was this incident that made him reluctantly agree to go to the meeting.

“You’re a victim, Roy,” Norma said with her funny little Southern accent as she felt up his bicep. “You’re a victim of the building administrators disregard for our safety.” 

He agreed. Not with the victim part, but about the building administrators tendency to ignore real problems and instead focus on stupid non-issues like whether the lobby should be painted pearl or cotton. (“What the fuck’s even the difference between those two?” he’d asked his friend Carter as he tossed a stress ball in the air. “Pearl and cotton - they’re both fucking shades of white.”)

The meetings were held at the conference room next to the gym - a place Roy had no idea existed until he read the notice in the elevator. 

“ALL MEETINGS HELD IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM. BRING FOOD TO SHARE.”

He arrived early with a box of donuts he’d stolen from the station (box he promised he’d replace the very next day), and he dropped it off at the refreshments table. Norma Jane Grace-Barnard was the first one to greet him. “Hiiii!” she’d waved from her seat. “Saved ya a seat, hun bun,” she said, patting the spot next to hers. Roy had been the subject of today’s unofficial pre-meeting: Roy Rahim, the attractive, mysterious police detective would possibly be attending the meeting. Would they in trouble? Would he arrest them? Cuff them? Norma Jane was excited and she wanted to go first, a fact she’d told Roy and then giggled about. Roy just chuckled and shook his head. “I might have to, Norma” and he winked before pulling out his phone and texting a simple “WTF” to his sisters. “Strangerville @ meeting.”

The meeting wasn’t so much a chat about the building and more of a mixer for the single tenants. Roy and the six other people who’d gotten stuck in the elevator talked about their experience and then the meeting was adjourned. Final verdict: they would be fixing the elevators. After that, it was like a new season of the bachelorette; wine was being served, spilled, and he was pretty sure at least 2 people interrupted his conversations with an “excuse me, can I steal you for a sec?”

Roy didn’t know anyone at the apartment building, but he’d investigated most of them on his first week living there. “I have to know who I’m living with,” he’d said to himself to justify the snooping. He’d found a lot of very interesting things about the tenants, like the fact that the girl from 302 had been arrested for stealing other people’s dogs 5 times already and that the guy from 506 had a restraining order put against him by his college professor. The one person he knew was the 23 year old who lived upstairs, Max, but only because he’d had to arrest him twice for getting in bar fights or shoplifting. Max Lawrence, who was walking into the conference room with a black eye, a beer, and an unbuttoned flannel shirt. 

“Yo, Rahim,” he said, throwing his limp arms around Roy. “The elevators working yet?” He reeked of beer. Roy chuckled and shook his head. “Dude, you smell so good.”

He was the perfect excuse to leave. He raised his hand up at Norma and her friends (Amy, Stacey and Natalie? Or was it Anna, Casey and Natasha? Either way, he had to take this drunk idiot back upstairs.) “Sorry, gotta take care of this now, ladies. It was nice talking to you,” he said as he put an arm around Max, who winked at the ladies and then proceeded to burp in their faces.

“Sorry,” he slurred, tipping his invisible hat. “Ladies.”

They both walked out of the conference room, Max dragging his feet as they walked, winking and doing finger guns at anyone who looked his way. As soon as the door closed behind them, Max stood up straight and pushed Roy off. “You’re welcome, Rahim. You owe me now,” he said as he wiped his hands on his shirt. 

“I owe you? Who bailed you out last week, huh?” he asked, shoving him playfully. “You had me there for a second, Lawrence – I really thought you were drunk.”

“Well, years of practice,” he said, bowing his head. “What do you say? Take out and a beer? My dad’s treat,” he said, already running off toward the elevators. Roy smiled and shook his head. 

“Take out and a beer.“ 

[burningbridgesblacknblue]

Growing Pains

Summary:  Michael and Emma were made for one another. When it comes time for Michael to begin his mission, they find themselves learning new things about each other they don't necessarily like. Things they never learned to cope with because they were always together. Distance leaves room for growing pains.

Word Count:  2,489

Pairing: Michael/OC

A/N:  So this is my first crack at AHS fiction. I got bit by the Langdon bug. Anyway I want to note ahead of time that this story will loosely follow the show by it's timeline. So long hair Michael will appear just not right away. Also my this story will be updated on my Ao3 first you can find it ----> here

Ever since he was young I knew Michael was strange; it never bothered me I liked all sorts of people and the poor boy needed a companion he could trust. I had been somewhat odd myself with being able to read auras and emotions, our oddities were what drew us together. Very much like a moth to the flame the devil’s son had ensnared my heart and everlasting trust.

None of it in vein however, as much as I needed him he needed me ten fold. Afterall he was by all means a child starved for undivided attention and affection. What with his grandmother being gone and his actual father a supernatural being who couldn’t be summoned for just anything; Mead and I were the only people he had.

Mead his mother figure and I his lover who taught him to appreciate everything his gorgeous eyes laid gaze on. Mead would say I was chosen by Michael for a purpose and while that may be true I was never one for all that wishful thinking. We were both lonely souls in need of love.

Love he gave like a flowing river all Michael knew how to do was to give such a trusting love that in the past led to his heart being shattered into pieces. One could almost describe it as suffocating if they didn’t know how to receive and reciprocate the intense feeling. I guess it’s an acquired taste my darling Michael and I shared. A flavor those around us seemed to understand. Whether they didn’t want to cross Michael or they truly believed I was some destined partner, they never interfered.

Such a strange family we made but a family nonetheless.

Until Michael’s destiny began to rear it’s impatient head in our faces. Michael was going to leave our comfortable dwelling to go to some nonsensical school where he would sow the beginning seeds of the end.

Which was all fine and dandy except for the part about me not being able to attend, oh and the indefinite amount of time we’d be apart. Mead did her best to give me some courage, you know the whole ‘hail Satan’ bit but I didn’t give a solid damn about the bigger picture when I only thought about myself and my loneliness.

It was the cause of my current mind clearing walk I was on in the woods behind the small town we occupied. Ms.Mead and Michael had left to attend to the preparations of his new home leaving me at the mercy my own insecurities; a terrible way to the pass the time quite honestly.

Everything that could possibly go wrong while we were apart traveled through my mind at warped speed. It so dreadfully stressed me out I had to light a cigarette. I’m sure I looked like an Edgar Allen Poe poem come to life, dressed in an all black dress that reached my feet and my witch brim hat, chunky boots completing the ‘I’m already dead’ ensemble. My aesthetic cleverly paired with my emotions for once.

I sighed out the smoke in my lungs; this blows.

I did whatever I could to shake these nasty thoughts away knowing the extent of Michael’s loyalty once given, it was just too hard to think about living in this sad little humdrum town without my own sunshine.

It had stumbled upon me to maybe pursue a goal of my own considering the minimal amount of time society had left on this earth. Perhaps get that bachelor’s in art I had always wanted. Why not? I looked at my phone surfing the web briefly to see if it would be easy enough to enroll this late in the game.

Money shouldn’t be a problem since my parents had plenty and it was all left to me.

Yeah this was good if we have to walk separate paths for awhile why not pursue something productive on my own?

I couldn’t wait to get started on my application; I nearly sprinted back to the average looking house. When I reached the backdoor I kicked off my boots, not wanting to get the scolding I knew I’d receive from Ms.Mead for tracking mud through the house. I raced up the stairs to my room and dive bombed my laptop.

Rapidly looking up schools for my desired major. I settled on Julliard, why not shoot for the stars when the end of the world was rapidly approaching?

When I submitted my application and old admissions essay I felt very confident. My intuition had never really led me astray before, a spot in this school was as good as mine.

“What are you smiling about?”

Ripped from my sudden happiness I gasped at Michael in the doorway. He looked handsome his golden locks well managed, and clothes Ms.Mead laid out for him that morning, a black button up and well fitting trousers. His smile mimicked my own and reflected in his blue eyes.

“Just accomplishing something I’ve been putting off.”

“Oh?” he chuckled at my enthusiasm, “And what would that be?”

“I don’t want to jinx it,” I closed my laptop and set it aside, “I’ll tell you if it really happens.”

Michael eyed me skeptically before he gestured me with a hand to go with him, “Ms.Mead says dinner’s ready.”

I nodded scrambling off the bed the sound of food much too inviting to ignore. As I passed by my boyfriend I linked our fingers together. Leading him down to dinner not once missing the look he gave my laptop. ***

I had checked the mailbox consistently the next two weeks like a mad person. Disappointment clouding over my mind every time the letter I was looking for wasn’t there. No news was good news but still I had to know if I made it in case I needed to take my secondary school seriously.

However on this particular day as I pulled into the driveway behind Mead, I just knew it was the day I’d find out if I made it. Slowly I inched the latch off the mailbox, with shaky hands, I grabbed the envelope I needed. My heart was thumping in anticipation as I ripped the letter open. With one eye open I read the news I so longingly wanted to hear.

With much excitement I let out a squeal.

“What is it?” Mead came rushing to the door her dart gun in her hand.

“I got in!”

“Got in?” she questioned taking notice of the paper in my hand, “Got in where?”

“Juillard!”

Mead’s face wasn’t as excited as I had hoped it would be, she looked at me like I had committed blasphemy. The light of my happiness began to dull when she read over the paper.

“Emma you didn’t clear this with me,” she said with stern disapproval, “Michael won’t be able to handle you going so far away…”

“Why can’t I go to school? He’s going to be gone.”

“We are the only people he trusts we are the only people who truly understand him,” She said simply, “He needs to know we can come to his aid at any time he needs us.”

“He knows that already.”

Mead firmly grabbed my arms, “School is a distraction from our mission, from Michael. He will stray from his path if he thinks you are going to forget about him.”

“Who said anything about forgetting him Ms.Mead?” I retorted haughtily, “I love him he knows that and if he needs me while he’s away then I will certainly go to him.”

“Honestly girl it’s not that simple…” the shorter woman replied on a sigh, “Talk to him if he says it’s alright than what objections could I have?”

The frown on her face really made me wonder if Michael really wouldn’t be happy for me. Mead knew him well sometimes even more than me and if her expression was grave then there wasn’t much hope that he’d go for this.

Which really wasn’t fair I was still largely independent and to be denied something so casual as going to school; there was going to be a fight I just knew it.

“Is he home?”

She nodded lethargically as if in thought, “He’s resting upstairs.”

With a quick thanks I took hold of the letter and proceeded to Michael’s room; separate rooms were a must. Not because we were too young to share but because his body heat was insufferable at times. Especially after he spent more energy than he should have.

The door was left open a crack and I could see those gorgeous curls billowing out on his pillow as he slept with the blanket covering just his torso. Pondering about what he may have done to become so tired I stopped myself, it wasn’t fair to wake him up over something this frivolous. I could wait until he got up.

My pride just wanted to prove to Mead that the big deal she was making out of this was in fact not an issue at all.

With an internal sigh I just scooted into the other side of his bed. Rearranging the blankets so that he could move freely and myself didn’t have to be trapped under them. I rested my arm on his naked skin and could feel through my long sleeve shirt the heat he was radiating. Just how much power had he used?

I had almost dozed off beside him when I felt him shift so that he was cradling me, “What is it?”

His voice filled with sleepy innocence, I smiled and snuggled into his warmth. It was highly welcomed for once.

“Mead and I had a small disagreement.”

He nuzzled the top of my head with his cheek, “About what?”

“I applied for art school and she told me I can’t go…”

His body stiffened beneath mine, “Well I’m sure she had a good reason Emma.”

I refrained from huffing rather disappointed that he wouldn’t take my side over Mead’s. I guess I just hoped he would’ve taken mine although all opportunity hadn’t been lost quite yet. He didn’t outright object to the notion.

“Not really,” I retorted with exaggerated sadness, “She said it’s because you’d say no…”

Michael’s sigh rumbled in my ear, “You never mentioned this to me how could I say no?”

With a smile I placed a kiss on his bare chest, “I didn’t want to say anything incase I didn’t get in.”

“So I’m assuming you got in?” he asked as if he were no longer interested in the conversation. He always behaved this way when things weren’t going his way. It irritated me a little bit, why was no one happy for me?

“Yes I did well almost,” I mumbled the last part, “They just want a current piece submitted.”

He only hummed in acknowledgment so I took that as my queue to continue.

“I wanted to use the one that was inspired by you. It’s my favorite.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Once I submit the painting Michael I’m as good as accepted,” I reminded him gingerly, “Are you okay with this?”

I felt him shrug, “It’s not as if you’re leaving the area.”

Oh man did guilt flood my insides at those nonchalant words. My self-centered need to preoccupy my time while he was gone tried to coerce my mind into just agreeing. Michael trumped Mead and if he said yes...I could always iron out the details later. My more thought out, organized self wanted to tell him the truth but I could feel Michael’s anxious state wrapping me up like a toxic blanket. Mead was right, as much as I hated to admit it. If I indulged this information about the school being in New York he’d rescind his noncommittal approval immediately. Against my better judgment I let the silence speak for me with a kiss on his cheek.

“May I go back to my nap now that you’re happy?”

With a quick hum of approval I allowed him to rest. I waited until he was deep in his nap before detaching myself. The aforementioned heat now unbearable, I quietly tucked him back in and tiptoed out of his room.

Mead was cooking something for dinner in the kitchen and looked at me as if I were a petulant child.

“You woke him up didn’t you?”

I only shrugged my shoulders as I nibbled on the stew she made, she scolded me for being impatient but then changed directions.

“Emma he used so much energy‒no so much power just for our mission today‒to wake him for such a trivial matter is childish…” she trailed off turning back to her cooking on the stainless steel stove.

“He said he was fine with me going to school Ms.Mead.”

She glanced over her shoulder at me with a small smile, “Did you tell him where the school was kid?”

“Yes.”

I did my best to hide any mannerisms that would give away my lie. Standing casually against the counter, my arms lax and holding my weight. She scrutinized my visage along with my body language but I sensed she didn’t buy it. She was apprehensive and on alert.

“I’m not going to get in the middle of this,” remarked gruffly wiping her brow, “I will say this though you know how fragile he his; lying to him will make him think something much worse.”

Pensively I bit my lip, “Why do I have to wait around here and think about being alone? The end is coming right? I want to get this degree before Julliard is a pile of rubble and since Michael will be busy why can’t I be too?”

“Emma,” Mead omitted a matermal-like sigh, “Michael isn’t leaving us out of spite so there’s no need to spite him. Besides who will keep me company while I wait on Michael to complete each step?”

I gave her a small smile, “Ms. Mead it isn’t to spite him‒”

She let out a snort, “I’ve been around long enough to know the signs of a girl who feels dejected.”

“Miriam,” I declared her name like a bargaining tool, “I want this for myself too. Call me human but I want to be able to achieve one regular thing before it’s too late.”

“I won’t interfere as I said.” She concluded flatly, “I’m warning you if Michael strays from his path you can kiss this school goodbye.”

I had won. Actually won, I was surprised and Mead was too. Her aura was predominantly blue, it only ever showed when she was near Michael. It meant she loved me too. It was perplexing she never truly thought about anything but our mission. I smiled my own aura inflamed with a playful yellow.

“Thanks Miriam.”

“Don’t thank me yet kid,” she commented, “You’re not out of the woods yet.”

[hollowedrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, EMILY! — You’ve been accepted for the role of Dorcas Meadowes. My favorite part of your application was your description of how Dorcas interacts with customers, because how she interacts with customers at the Three Broomsticks has a direct tie to how she interacts with everyone else. It really provided a nice snapshot of how you saw her personality and how you’d write her in-game, and I have complete faith you’ll do her justice. 

Thank you so much for applying. Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the follow list. Welcome to Hollowed Souls!

ooc.

name: Emily

age: (seventeen and up only) 28 years old

preferred pronouns: she/her 

timezone: pacific activity: on a scale of 1-10? I’d say probably hovering around a seven. I work full time and am a mother of two, but my job is really flexible, so I float around a lot and I lurk on my dash a TON.

are you applying for more than one character?: just Dorcas—for now. I’m tempted for others, but I’m putting my eggs in a basket, which is nerve wracking. 

how do you feel about your character dying?:  Well, that’s exciting and terrifying and definitely something that I would do myself if I was moderating, so fair question!

anything else?: (questions, concerns, etc.) Honestly, I absolutely love the look of this roleplay (not that you’re surprised by that at all I’m sure, I mean, you gave me little teasers to try and kill me anyways [don’t you dare think that I didn’t read the plotline when you sent me that darn HTML girl]) and I’m so excited to watch this blossom and bloom.

ic details.

full name: Dorcas Evelyn Meadowes

date of birth: canonly, unknown; April 23

former hogwarts house: Hufflepuff

sexuality: bi-sexual

gender/pronouns: (would you like to play this character as non-binary or trans? list it here.) she/her

face claim change: (if you’re requesting to change this character’s fc, list three alternatives in order of preference. all alternatives must be approved by the admin.) I love the face you picked, so I’m game for that.

more.

how do you interpret this character’s personality? how will you play them? include two weaknesses & two strengths.

Personality - Quality over quantity had been ingrained in her since she was young -- certainly because of the fact that sometimes in Quidditch it was better to just let the damn snitch go rather than catching it and letting your team lose. As a result, sometimes she might not be the most efficient barmaid, but she definitely was a favored one because she took the time to chat with the old guy that came in after his granddaughters Quidditch match or the young ones that were probably at the Three Broomsticks for the first time when it came to a drink. She gets along with people and is more than willing to grin and flirt if she needs to but mostly she’s more than willing to have a listening ear to those that want to talk, or that need a little bit of a nudge in the right direction to talk.

Playing - The ideal will be more soft spoken -- she’ll let people talk to her and she’ll open her ear so she’s able to listen to whatever it is that they’re going to talk about on that particular day. Flirting might be a necessity when it comes to being a barmaid, Dorcas certainly isn’t unfamiliar with that and is willing to take the few extra seconds on a patron for the good company and a decent tip, sometimes in more ways than just monetary. In public she certainly doesn’t go through and show a bias one direction or another in this war -- doing such would spell trouble for her in the long run and wouldn’t make people on Voldemort’s side feel as though they could share with her. Still, she doesn’t tend towards loud and boisterous unless the situation calls for it, and that is certainly once every blue moon.

+Driven

+Charismatic

-Spontaneous

-Perfectionistic

how has the war affected this character, emotionally and otherwise?

While it might not have her as hard in the face until recently just how bad this war could go, it wasn’t as though Dorcas could pretend to be oblivious. Between the patrons within the pub and fact that people were willing to spill more information to an open ear than they might to the next individual to approach them? Well, Dorcas had heard her fair share of stories from both sides of this war and neither of them were a pleasant experience for everyone’s man in the apartment next to them. Her life wasn’t necessarily privileged, but it certainly had it’s advantages above some of her former classmates and the worst thing that she had to experience was the fact that her parents had a certain standard that she had to achieve in Quidditch in order to be the right kind of Meadowes.

While the stress of the war didn’t seem real to her until the recent attack, with friends missing and nothing known as to their whereabouts? Well, she couldn’t completely pretend that she wasn’t more than a little afraid of what this would end up bringing in the end, whether it would mean a shift in how the wizarding world ended up moving forward or if it was just a flux. Still, it’d lead to every bit of quiet in the pub and the weeks after the attack the owl post had been eerily quiet while everyone tried to cope. Mostly though? Well -- now she was just frustrated that she wasn’t doing more, that she was back in London while everyone else coped with the losses while she was buried in piles of mail and firewhiskey. Still, if she was caught, she didn’t particularly dwell on what it would mean for her in the future.

Where does this character currently stand? with those who wish to hide in godric’s hollow until the war ends, with those who wish to rebuild the order and continue fighting the war, or on neither side? Why?

While Dorcas understands the break needed to recoup and evaluate what it was that needed to be done moving forward, to say that she’d be okay with using Godric’s Hollow as a hiding place would be a mistake. While she might not be in the direct action, she also wasn’t going to pretend that she was oblivious to the fact that there seemed to be more activity the longer that things continued. Something needed to be done and for what little she might know, she knew that hiding probably shouldn’t be on the list of discussion topics on how to help fight against Voldemort. Remaining still certainly had never done her any good over the years, that was something that she was certain of.

What’s some of the most interesting things Dorcas has learned while working at an owl post office?

Her personal favorite certainly was something accidentally stumbled upon that isn’t even of use to the Order with two high ranking ministry officials apparently having an ongoing affair together. While she’ll certainly never use this one to her advantage? Well, it definitely is amusing now when people mention their names together.

Another one of them was the reality of pieces to a puzzle being put together after the attack on the Order. By far the least productive measure that she had taken, but the most telling in the span of who had known that at least there was something that was going to be happening, Dorcas found that the reality was that there were likely far more people that had been involved with Voldemort than people realized, even if most of them were surface level.

How does she feel about continuing the task of working there and opening mail while most of the order hides in Godric’s Hollow?

Depending on the day, she can be frustrated and also be proud all in the same breath. While it meant that there were pieces of trust in her ability to work without anyone else around her, it certainly also made her feel more than a bit alienated from the rest of the group and occasionally a little bit clueless as to what was going on back in Godric’s Hollow. It certainly hadn’t made the situation easier, but it definitely did make her realize that she couldn’t go through and just pretend that the world was fine when the people that she was around most were trying to figure out the future of their organization.