#they would have EVERY REASON to put it in the cash shop at bare minimum right

[jpegcompressor]

i'm so normal and fine about the dawntrailer i'm totally and absolutely 100% average. absolutely fucking john doe over here.

[loanclark]

Can You Buy a Duplex with an FHA Loan?

In this article, how can you buy a duplex with an FHA loan? Choosing to purchase a multi-family or duplex property can help you achieve financial independence. Purchasing a multi-family property can create extra cash flow, passive income, and home equity, whether you're a first-time buyer or an experienced investor. A duplex can be purchased with normal or FHA financing. Every alternative has a unique set of prerequisites and advantages. A duplex, to put it briefly, is a two-unit residential building. A four-unit residential property is referred to as a multi-family property. Being the owner-occupant of one of the units is a requirement for approval when applying for FHA financing. This applies to multi-family properties with up to four units, as well as duplexes and triplexes.

FHA Loan Requirements for a Duplex

Applying for an FHA loan for a duplex gives you the same benefits as for a single-family home, but you can use the rental income to help you qualify. With a few exceptions, most criteria are the same. The main requirements for the the FHA loan duplex are as follows: - You must occupy at least one of the duplex's units as your primary residence. - Pay stubs, W2s, and tax returns must be submitted to prove your income in order for you to be eligible. - The highest percentage of debt to income will be 56.9%. - The building's square footage needs to be at least 51% dedicated to residential use. - 500 is the bare minimum credit score needed. Certain lenders have overlays and modify their standards, which can make qualifying more challenging. Please fill out this brief loan scenario form if you would like to talk with someone who can assist you regardless of your situation. Someone will contact you right away without requesting credit.

How can you buy a duplex with an fha loan

Would you like your renters to pay your mortgage on a monthly basis? Have you considered turning your first house into an investment as well? You can purchase a duplex through FHA, occupy one unit, and rent out the other. Three- and four-unit buildings are also permitted by FHA, although there are some additional restrictions.

What credit score is required to buy a duplex?

Knowing what to expect when purchasing a duplex or fourplex as an investment property can make the process much less stressful. In order to assess risk and determine the parameters of your loan offer, mortgage lenders review your credit record and your debt-to-income ratio. While there are exceptions, conventional mortgages often demand a credit score of at least 700. Credit scores greater than 580 are necessary for FHA borrowing. Download your free credit report to learn about your credit score. As we discussed in this blog post, you can correct any mistakes, contest any negative marks, and take steps to raise your credit score in fewer than sixty days. You can get the best mortgage rate if your credit score is high. For those who wish to purchase a duplex or multi-unit property, there are also specialty lending options available. Must Read our related article Can I Get an FHA Loan With an Eviction

What will make a duplex ineligible for FHA financing?

A duplex may not be eligible for FHA financing for a number of reasons. Here are a handful of those reasons: - The land is not a duplex legally. - The duplex will not be used by the buyer as their primary dwelling. - The property's designated residential area makes up less than 51% of its total square footage. - The extremely detailed FHA inspection is not passing by the property. - The property is located in an unsafe area. - There is not enough insurance for the property. Not all of these obstacles are insurmountable. You might want to think about shopping for another duplex to buy if the property just cannot match the FHA requirements.

How much are duplexes?

A 3,000-foot side-by-side, two-story duplex will typically cost $388,000, with the average cost of building a duplex in 2022 ranging from $285,000 to $537,000, according to Fixr.com. With an average price of $142,500 for a 1500-square-foot stacked duplex, this is the least expensive type of duplex, consisting of one unit built on top of the other. The most costly duplex design is a side-by-side, one-story, 5,000-square-foot duplex that costs, on average, $1,100,000 to construct.

Are duplexes a wise financial choice?

The opportunity for profit makes some homebuyers want to buy multifamily properties. Duplexes can be profitable investments, but the idea behind utilizing FHA financing is to purchase a duplex so that you can live there as your primary house and earn some rental income to help pay down your mortgage each month. When it comes to investments, duplexes where the rental income completely pays for the entire mortgage payment—principle, interest, taxes, and insurance—are the best choices. It's probably a great investment if you've located a home with probable rent that will pay the debt service.

Ways to Obtain a Duplex Without Any Money

Some prospective homeowners lack the funds for the down payment required to buy a duplex. You could be able to buy the duplex with no money down, even though FHA requirements call for a 3.5% down payment. - To start with, you can acquire the down payment as a gift from a relative. - Next, help with a down payment is another option. - Lastly, a last alternative is to investigate seller financing. You might be able to buy without making any down payment at all if you qualify for VA benefits.

How Can We Buy A Duplex With An FHA Loan?

When considering the purchase of a duplex with an FHA loan, there are key factors to keep in mind. Firstly, the down payment requirement is a crucial aspect to consider. FHA loans generally require a minimum down payment, typically around 3.5% of the purchase price. This is advantageous for potential duplex buyers as it allows for a lower upfront financial commitment compared to conventional loans. Secondly, the calculation of rental income plays a significant role in meeting FHA loan income requirements. The rental income from the additional unit in the duplex can be considered part of the borrower's income, potentially improving their debt-to-income ratio and enhancing their eligibility for the loan. It's essential for buyers to thoroughly understand these aspects and work closely with their mortgage advisor to navigate the intricacies of buying a duplex with an FHA loan successfully. Bottom line Buying a duplex with an FHA loan offers a viable path to real estate investment for many aspiring homeowners. The relatively low down payment requirement of around 3.5% provides an attractive entry point, making it more accessible compared to conventional loans. Moreover, the unique advantage lies in the consideration of rental income as part of the FHA loan income requirements. This can significantly bolster your financial profile, increasing eligibility and potentially making your investment in a duplex even more financially sound. However, it's crucial to navigate the process with careful consideration and seek guidance from experienced mortgage professionals who can help you maximize the benefits of an FHA loan for duplex ownership. With the right strategy and understanding, the prospect of buying a duplex with an FHA loan becomes not just a possibility but a smart investment in your financial future. Read the full article

[salty-cs]

kalons be dying

i had too many words to put in a regular ask, i apologize for this python. 

kalons be crashing bro. i give it another year before it dies unless wicc is willing to sell the species for a reasonable price to someone other than red. edit prices are 5$ under the price of a myo of the same rarity now - not half off or lower which makes it harder to simply edit kalons you already own, traits are being changed and policed differently without any announcements at all, and red refuses to delegate tasks like revamps and regrowths to other active staff for some unholy reason despite going on unexpected hiatuses for over a month. sure, holidays are a valid reason to be busy, but at least give warning that you might be away if you're unsure.

not to mention kalon staff are marginally underpaid for the work they do, aside from moderators. there's a reason the nursery doesn't get entries often at all - nobody wants to spend 10-20+ hours on batches that could consist of 4 kits (more if there's form change) for the same compensation a mod gets for answering two questions or doing two approvals. it's a flawed system, making the staff they do have not want to work, and i fucking get why, man. on top of it all, the inactive staff aren't removed, ever, so the staff list seems hefty, but only a handful are actually doing anything. not really their fault when they put hours of work in, only to get meager amounts of payment. 

in addition to the above, i also pulled this quote directly from the kalon main page: 

"Defined activity for Artists is 2 Adopts or Nursery Batches per month. Activity for Moderators is defined by species owners on a case-by-case basis." there's no set limit for moderators, so they could - in theory - do next to nothing and get favouritism pity points from red. it's ultimately not the moderator's fault, since this is a flawed part of the system, but it's really telling how the artists of the group are undervalued. not only that, but if an artist or moderator goes above and beyond in a month, they're not compensated overtime, so there's no reason for them to do anything but meet the bare minimum requirements. they do what they can to get personal batches, because they benefit more from a PB than literally any other compensation given in this group, leaving nursery artists to do PB's and PB's only, and the community getting the meager scraps of the NB artists left over energy, if that.

with the change in prices of edits, staff can't get nearly the same amount of edits for their kalons any more, and mods were a huge part of items even being in rotation. not only did red fuck over the community with increasing edit prices, they also fucked over their staff. red increasing edit prices feels like such a fucking cash grab, it's insane. if you want people to buy things more, do sales or lower the prices! people are more likely to spend when they think they're getting more for their buck! 5$ below the price of a myo? I'd rather buy the myo and let the kalon i no longer connect to rot. if you look at how much is getting bought, the highest number of sales happened around black friday, when things were on sale, instead of the measly one-comment-every-few-days ordeal they have going on.

(i've included an image below for proof of the current pricing for those not interested in hunting for the kalon shop link, though i don't have a before, sorry.)

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/400744041366683669/1061729649576644678/image.png

i dont want wicc to come back - they certainly weren't much better than red, especially not with milking the group like a cash cow - but handing the group over to someone like madziu, who's shown they are capable of handling interactions with the community in a way that isn't entirely off-putting would benefit the species greatly. red is not the right person to be owner. 

in other words, this is my ode to kalons dying, good-bye.

[miekasa]

do you have any cute (or h-word) bf headcanons for the Aot boys mie?

Of course I do, I have an ever-expanding list of headcanons for all of them, from how they react to you sitting in the backseat when they pick you up, down to whether or not they would rip your bandages off after your get a shot (spoiler: Eren, Porco, and Levi fucking would)

EREN sfw

He really likes holding hands, though it’s more of a calming habit for him. Holding hands keeps him grounded, and acts as an anchor for his anxiety; so he’ll grab and/or fidget with yours periodically.

He’ll steal your skincare if he’s over at your place, but honestly he just starts… copying it lmfao. Like, he’ll take notice of your face wash when he’s over he’s like “Oh, this is nice” and then a week later, he buys a bottle for himself. Then he buys your toner, and your moisturizer, and you stay over at his place and gotta do a double take bc he’s got damn near the same of everything at this point.

He doesn’t know if he believes that classical music actually helps him to concentrate, but he does know that he’s grown to like it, so it’s become his studying music of choice. He’s got favorite composers and everything.

He’d be upset if you didn’t steal his hoodies. That’s what they’re there for. He’ll make you steal them if he has to.

He hates standing in line. For anything. If he likes a restaurant that gets super busy at lunch, he’ll order ahead for pickup (and he feels special skipping the line). At amusement parks, he pays for the fast passes. If it’s shopping, then he’d rather just do it online.

On that note, he sucks at returning things that don’t fit/he doesn’t like when he shops online, so he honestly just keeps them, or gives them to his friends—it’s much easier than going through the hassle of printing a return label, according to him.

nsfw

He likes the idea of recording you guys during sex, but he’s honestly a little too nervous to do it—nervous about being recorded himself, and about it potentially getting out somewhere.

Likes it when you look him in the eyes when you cum. In fact, he somewhat demands it.

Similarly, he’s always watching you during sex. Mostly your face, for indications of how he’s making you feel and when you’re close to your orgasm (which is why he’s got a thing for you looking at him).

He used to hate masturbating, until he tried masturbating to the idea of you, and now he fucking loves that. He takes his time with it too—if he’s gonna jack off, he’s gonna make a moment of it: sit on his bed, turn the lights off, make sure he’s all alone and can go for as long as he wants.

Threesomes are fine with him, and he doesn’t even have to be the sole one in charge, depending on who’s joining you.

ARMIN sfw

He air-dries the majority of his clothes because he doesn’t want his sweaters and knitwear to shrink. Also, he likes the smell of his fabric softener permeating the room while the clothes dry.

On a similar note, he’s got sensitive skin—not to the point where a shirt less than 75% cotton irritates him; but he is conscious of fabrics and products he uses. Because of this, he takes extra care with his laundry, his pillowcases and bedsheets are satin as are the majority of his pajama shirts, and he never ever walks around without house slippers or he’ll irritate the bottom of his feet.

He’s scared of bugs, but he doesn’t like to kill them either. Honestly, he just kinda hopes spiders and stuff will crawl away without him intervening 😭😭

He likes board games, and has a thing for The Game of Life. He cannot play chess, even though most people would guess that he could, and he’s begun to practice by playing online versions against computers to learn.

He knows everyone’s gossip because everyone comes to him to gossip. And if he’s the therapist friend, then you’re the person who receives the summary of all the tea from him at the end of the week. And man can this boy throw a bitch fest when he’s in the right mood.

nsfw

He’s got a bit of an oral fixation, so he really likes having your mouth occupied; with his fingers, with your panties, with his dick—he’s not really picky.

Likes sex with the lights on. Claims it’s because he wants to “see all of you” (it’s really because he’s nervous he’ll fuck something up if he can’t see properly 😭😭)

He really likes making out. Like, a lot. Though it’s not something that happens often—so he builds up a lot of frustrating thinking about it, and it all comes crashing down, and ends up with you guys damn near dry humping each other on the couch for two hours.

That’s something that applies to him generally, too—he tends to let himself get very frustrated and worked up, whether he means to or not. He also thinks about sex quite frequently, and it only fuels his frustration; so when he snaps, he snaps hard.

He’d let you choke him back if you asked. Just ask nicely.

JEAN sfw

Loves studying in cafés and adores when you study with him; peeps up at you periodically when you sit across from him. He always pays for your drink, but sometimes you guys share, and he likes making a game out of reaching for the cup at the same time as you.

He’s very chivalrous, but he hates when you call him out for it, or make any kind of deal of it. He knows it’s chivalry, but he also knows it’s the bare minimum, plus he’s easily embarrassed—especially in public.

Loves having his hair played with, absolutely adores it. If you’re just holding his face, or resting your hand on his cheek, he’ll move himself further into your touch to maneuver your palm closer to his hair.

He really really really likes back hugs—giving and receiving them. If he’s standing behind you, he’ll most likely reach for a hug at some point (sometimes he won’t let go and you’ve gotta waddle with him on you). His ears get red when you give him a back hug but he always uses a hand to rest over your arms to tell you that he doesn’t want you to let go.

He can play the piano, but he doesn’t tell a soul about it. The only reason you found out it through his mom. He’s got stage fright, so he gave up on performing, but he’s really talented, and can almost play any song by ear.

nsfw

He loves the feeling of your hands on him, particularly if you’ve got long nails. Please scrape your nails against his back, or even just dig them into his biceps while he’s fucking you, it’ll drive him insane.

Along with liking having his hair played with, he adores having it pulled on—the attention and desperation in your actions goes straight to his ego and his dick.

One of his biggest fantasies is getting a lap dance from you. He’d never ever fucking say it out loud or dream of asking for it, but the idea of you stripping in front of him, down to lingerie he’d picked out for you, and teasing him until he can’t take it anymore and jumps you is something he thinks about… far more often than he should.

If you’re wearing his clothes (especially one of his t-shirts to bed, or around his apartment), he’s gonna fuck you in it. Jean has a lot of self control, but that’s one thing that’ll make him snap in an instant. And if you wear his shirt or hoodie out, he’s fucking you when you get home, it’s as simple as that.

CONNIE sfw

He studies with children’s shows playing the background. He doesn’t remember how he discovered that his method works for him, all he knows is that something about Paw Patrol makes for excellent background noise for writing his research papers.

He’s quite touchy with PDA, but if you guys are in a crowd then forget about it—because Connie might forget about you. He’s definitely left you at the grocery store before.

He eats cereal for breakfast every morning, and he’s kind of got a collection of them in his kitchen. He claims there are upscale cereals that he doesn’t just let anybody eat or even touch; so, if he offers you a midnight snack consisting of a bowl of his favorite (and very rare) cereal, then be honored.

He almost always pays with cash, but he hates change. If he gets back coins, he either tells the cashier to keep them, puts them in a tip jar if there’s one in sight, or just pours them into your coat pocket. He understands that its money, but he’ll be damned if he’s just got a sack full of nickels clanging around in his bag.

nsfw

He claims he doesn’t have a thing for exhibitionism, but with the way he’s down to fuck damn near anywhere, he might be a bold faced liar. Changing rooms, music festivals, airport bathrooms, the little corner of the multilevel parking lot that he’s oh-so-certain is in the blindspot of the security cameras... there are so few things off-limits with him.

Car sex on his bucket list… just not in his car lmfao (because trust and believe that’s something that already happens pretty regularly). Maybe his real kink is vandalism and destruction of property.

He is not above begging you to sit on his face. He will get on his knees and pant like a fucking dog for you to do it, he’s so serious. He’ll do it laying down, he’ll do it with you standing up/against a wall, he’ll do it on the couch. Break his neck please he’s fucking asking for it.

He doesn’t mind sharing and he definitely doesn’t mind watching. Honestly, he’d egg you on to kiss someone else at a party, or go as far as to seduce you into seducing someone else just so he can watch it go down.

PORCO sfw

He sends you iMessage games but only the ones he’s good at because he doesn’t like to lose. But also, if he is losing, he doesn’t want you to be supportive about it and tell him “it’s okay uwu” lmfao he wants to either cream you, or have you kick his ass; competition is the name of the game, don’t be soft on him.

He’s a morning person, and he likes going on runs or even just early-morning walks when the weather is nice. He will wake you up occasionally to join him—and if you’re a homebody, you will be joining him. He won’t be responsible for watching you decompose on the couch.

Very picky about his pizza. It’s not a calorie or grease or health thing—he just really fucking likes pizza, and he won’t excuse a bad slice.

Always pulls you closer to him in a crowd or when a group of people are walking by. He doesn’t have to, but he likes to. Tease him about it and he’ll push you right back tho, probably into a shrub if there’s one near by.

nsfw

He’s such a “No, no—answer the call” kind of mf; a sadist, if you will. He lives for torturing and embarrassing you, and that applies to sex, too.

Loves the way his hands look on you, particularly splaying his hand over your stomach when he’s fucking you. Likes the heat of your body against his, when he positions himself just right to feel the outline of his dick against you, and squeezing the sides of your tummy when he gets lost in it.

Loves blowjobs, and loves to cum on you or over your face. His favorite thing tho is pulling away just before he’s about to orgasm, and jacking himself off with your tongue sticking out, ready to swallow.

Okay with threesomes, too; but he wouldn’t like to do much to or with the third person. It’s okay if they touch you—maybe even fuck you, depending on who it is—but he’s not there to get them off.

LEVI

sfw

When he cooks dinner, he always makes sure to make enough for you to have leftovers to take with you for lunch the following day. Especially if it’s a dish you’ve been wanting or try, or specifically asked him to cook.

He’s got a specific tote bag he brings with him to the grocery store/farmer’s market, and separate one for when he’s running other light errands.

He hates soda, not even just because it’s not the healthiest thing to drink—he just doesn’t like the feel of carbonated drinks; the only exception being when they’re mixed with liquor, but even then, it’s not his preference.

After a while, he just starts lying and says you’re married at places where it benefits you both, or to curb a longer conversation about the status of your relationship to people who are inquiring. He thinks it’s fucking weird that marriage is what shuts people up, but if it works, it works; less people prying in your guys’ business.

He likes giving you forehead kisses, and if you do it back, he’ll learn that he doesn’t mind receiving them either.

He’s such a sucker for you rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand when you guys hold hands. He might not act like he notices, but he always does; and somewhat craves little touches like that the longer you guys are together.

nsfw

He would never admit it to anyone, but birthday sex is up there for his favorite kind of sex. He never cared much about his birthday… until he realized he could get that as a gift. He knows it’s not different, but he likes it, nonetheless; one the few times he doesn’t mind having all the attention on him.

King of aftercare, though some of his methods usually lead to another round—in which he teases you for cancelling out his work, when you know he was just as willing and eager.

He likes edging himself and overstimulating you; and with his self-control, that makes for a pretty dangerous combination.

He’s strong and he knows how to use it to his advantage: maneuvering you with a single arm, holding both your wrists above your head with one hand, pushing your head down into the sheets when he’s fucking you from behind.

Sex is one of the few times Levi doesn’t mind making a mess—and in fact, he likes it messy; watching you drip onto the sheets, making you spit on his dick and fucking your face until you drool. He always goes on about how sloppy you are, how you can’t keep anything clean, but he fucking loves it.

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn 

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 

he only wants to have conversations with you 

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 

he really fucks w your laid back vibe 

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:  

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked 

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 

your next conversation works out well for the both of you 

[neon-junkie]

Vanity is a Sin - Chpt.1

Summary: The last person you expected to fall for is that pretentious man, Javier Escuella, but maybe you're not so different from him after all?

Pairing: f!Reader x Javier Escuella

Word Count: 2709

Rating: SFW

Tags: Enemies to lovers, Slow burn, Arguments, Bickering, Denial of feelings, Reader has a lot of self-doubts.

Notes: I’ve wanted to write a Javier multi-chapter fic for aaaages, but wanted to do something different for it. So, enemies to lovers it is, my fave trope hehe, but we don’t see much of Javiers negative side, so let’s explore that :0

Next Chapter

It's another chilly day at Horseshoe Overlook. Despite your occasional shiver and constant goosebumps, you're thankful that you're still not stuck in Colter, but that still doesn't mean you can't wish to be somewhere warmer. It seems no matter how many layers you put on, you can't quite get warm, and you question how other gang members are walking around in their summer attire, especially Arthur.

You shiver again and accidentally manage to prick your finger with the needle you're using to sew somebody's patchy pants. "Fuck sake," you mutter under your breath, looking at your finger to inspect the damage. It's nothing, and you know it's nothing, but you're in a grumpy mood, so everything feels tenfold, especially the sting to your fingertip.

You sigh, looking up at the sky, questioning why whatever being that lives up there continues to rain on your parade. It's not just you that's in a bad mood, the whole camp seems off, but Dutch continues to attempt giving his many uplifting speeches whilst he poses in his tent with a cigar in hand, not lifting a finger to do even some basic camp chores.

He's doing the same now, and your eyes gaze over him as you stop staring at the sky. There he is, the man himself, the big boss, his voice cracking every so often; that always brings a smile to your face. Your eyes follow around the rest of the camp: Hosea is the only one stood listening to him. Molly's on the other side of her tent staring into her pocket mirror because for some reason, she no longer has to pull her weight. Bill is still asleep. Mary-Beth and Tilly are beside you, still sewing away. The O'Driscoll is still tied to the tree. Strauss is... doing whatever he does. And there's Javier, gussying himself up in Arthurs mirror, no surprise there.

You'll never understand how these boys get away with doing the bare minimum, whilst yourself and the other women are the only thing keeping this camp together. Everybody knows that if the women decided to up and leave in the night, the men would end up setting the camp on fire, probably attempting to cook their own dinner... no offence to Pearson. There's a fair few, such as Arthur and Hosea, who are able to survive on their own, but you've seen Arthur attempt to do tedious jobs before and just like you, he pricks his fingers every time he sews. At least Hosea has an excuse, being in his grey years, his bones not able to move as they used to, but he makes up for it in other ways.

But Javier? What does he do? Apart from prance around the camp in his designer crocodile boots, spending an hour shaving his moustache every morning... why does he even shave his moustache like that? You asked him once, and he replied "It rubs off from all the friction." Sure, Javier, because you're obviously a very wanted man.

Unfortunately, Mary-Beth and Tilly take quite a liking to him. They've confessed what you would view as sins before, saying they both have a soft spot for the man, to which you scoffed then laughed, and ended up choking from laughing too hard.

"Why are you laughing? I don't see why you two don't get along? He's real sweet and..." Mary-Beth had begun droning on, and you eventually interrupted her with a "Where do I start?"

Needless to say, neither of them agreed with any of your opinions of Javier, apart from him not pulling his weight as much as he makes out to. But oh, he plays guitar, so that means he doesn't have to do any chores because he blares out his music all hours of the night. You've told him to quit playing so you can sleep many times, seeing as your tent is right by the campfire, to which he always glares at you and plays louder. He once even had the audacity to wake Uncle up and begin shouting Ring-A-Dang-Do.

You took your revenge by waking up early and pouring water in his boots. He knew it was you the second he put them on, sighing and glaring at you, but not being confrontational for once. At least he started putting a curfew on his music after that.

You've been manifesting in your thoughts for a while now, not realizing your name is being called out. "Huh?" you almost yelp as somebody taps your shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Tilly asks. "You've been staring into the distance again, didn't even hear us callin' your name."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking," you explain as you turn your attention to them.

"About what?" Mary-Beth questions.

"Nothing that's worth my time."

"Oh, boys?" Tilly questions, making all three of you laugh.

"Unfortunately."

"Well, Mary-Beth and I are all finished here. We're gonna make ourselves look decent and head into town, you coming?"

"Yeah. Let me finish up this, and I'll meet you by the wagon," you reply.

"Alright."

The pair excuse themselves, heading over to their tents to begin looking 'presentable', even though you would happily argue with them about that. They always look incredible, flawless yet effortless, whereas you constantly feel like a drowned rat...

You watch as they wander off, saying hello to Javier, who's still stood in front of Arthurs mirror. He's not even having a shave, he's just been stood there checking himself out for the last ten minutes, or however long it's been. Your brows furrow and you force yourself to tilt your head down, focusing on your final stretch of sewing, eventually finishing up, so you can put them back on the laundry pile and begin getting ready for your day out.

Going into town with your girl friends is always relaxing, something to get you out of camp, when you're not trailing in and out on your own accord. Yes, you know damn-well how to shoot a gun, along with all your other basic survival skills like hunting and fishing. Dutch was reluctant to take you on heists at first, calling you "another Karen, a woman who wants to get her hands dirty when she's needed here."

Dutch wasn't expecting you to put your money where your mouth is, trailing back into camp a few days later with more than enough cash to keep the camp happy. Only that was somewhat of a waste of time now you look back on it, your share being lost somewhere in Blackwater, along with the rest of the camps hard work and progress. Back to square one, yet again...

The sound of a thud startles you, looking over your shoulder to see that the final crate has been loaded into the wagon. The shop helper gives you a wave, and you beckon him over to tip him; he pours out his thanks before going back inside.

"Back to camp?" you question as you turn your focus to Mary-Beth and Tilly, who nod in agreement.

With a flick of the reigns, the three of you begin leaving Valentine, only popping into town to grab a few camp supplies and treats for yourselves. You've fancied a new outfit for a while, and you're excited to try it on later, maybe make yourself look nice so you can... sit by the campfire...

What else is there to enjoy in camp?

The path you're following leads you straight back to Horseshoe Overlook, and you warn the girls of the bump before crossing over the train tracks. A familiar figure can be seen in the distance, and as they approach, you realize it's Arthur on his new mount. He pulls up beside you as you stop the wagon, tipping his hat to the three of you.

"Where are you going?" you question.

"Just headin' into town. I didn't know you girls had just been there," Arthur explains.

"We only went to pick up supplies. What are you going for?" Tilly questions.

"Javier and Charles wanted to meet me at the Saloon, said I'd drop by this afternoon. They must already be there."

"You should get going then, you know what Javier is like," you complain, the words slipping from your mouth.

Arthur laughs at your statement. "You're right," he agrees. "But you two will learn to get along one day, you've gotta if you're gonna be in the same camp together."

"Arthur, there are plenty of camp members that don't get along. You and Micah, for instance?"

"...Yeah, you're right," Arthur hums in frustration. "Forget I said that then... Well, I best be going."

"See you later," the three of you reply.

Arthur gives another little nod and taps his spurs, heading into town, whilst you whip your reigns again and begin your return to camp. 

 By the time you arrive, it's almost sundown, and your evening is spent unloading the wagon and scoffing down your dinner. The night is free to do as you please, so just like you told yourself earlier, you get changed into your new clothes and make yourself look presentable, taking a seat at the campfire with the others and joining in on their story telling.

The evening is going well, relaxing and peaceful for once, even with Uncles banjo playing. All until the sound of heavy hooves come thudding back into camp; you turn to see a handful of the gang members returning from their night in town, only they don't seem too happy. They're huffing and grumbling, nursing what appear to be wounds, and it's easy to piece everything together and realize that they been in a bar fight.

A few of your fellow camp members get up from their seats at the campfire to go and check on them, and as much as you do care, you don't want to overcrowd them. You get up and make your way over to Pearson's wagon, picking out another bottle to drink. You're spoilt for choice, a nice selection of whiskeys and gins at your service, something different from cheap, warm beer.

You pick up a bottle and begin reading the label, checking the alcohol percentage and debating how drunk you want to get tonight. You don't overhear the sound of footsteps approaching, your mind paying no attention to sounds like that as you hear them all the time, but the sound of somebody speaking directly behind you makes you jump.

"That for me?" they ask. You peer over your shoulder to see Javier standing there, his hand rubbing his chin where a bruise is beginning to form.

"Why would this be for you?" you scoff, turning your body to face him, the bottle in your hands.

"Your poor camp member has just been in a fight, yet you won't help nurse them?" Javier questions with a laugh.

"That's your own fault, plus I ain't your mother."

You begin to walk off, but the comment Javier makes forces you to stop in your tracks. "Mary-Beth and Tilly would."

"Go and ask them then," you roll your eyes, turning to face Javier again. Who does he think you are? He begins to softly laugh and the sound makes you gag, so artificial, just like the rest of him.

"But what if I want you to help me? Surely you don't dislike me that much."

"I do, so I'd suggest you ask them."

You try and walk away yet again, and Javier mutters something under his breath. "You'll learn to like me eventually." Another scoffing sound escapes your lips as you frown at him, leaning against Pearson's table and crossing your arms, your bottle in hand.

"You know, I've never seen you wear purple before. It suits you," you smirk.

"Oh, very funny," Javier says as he raises his eyebrows. He approaches you, his strides small and slow, stopping right before you. His hand moves away from his bruise, his skin turning a deeper purple as every second passes, but your eyes are drawn to his; They're dark and blown, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, staring into yours. He's too close for your liking, you can smell the tobacco in his system with every exhale, his breathing deep, still clearly worn out from the fight.

"What's your issue with me?" Javier asks. "I mean, I've never done anything to upset you, not that I know of, but you've always had something against me."

"I've told you before," you begin as you uncross your arms, placing your bottle down on the table and resting your hands on your hips. "You don't do shit around this camp. You'll drag a sloppy score in here and there, but your vanity distracts you from doing some proper work, chores and what-not."

"Vanity?" Javier repeats the word with a laugh. "There's no harm in looking good, at least you're putting some effort in tonight. Did you buy this today?" Javier asks as he goes to tough the fabric of your blouse, but you swat his hand away.

"You're as bad as Micah," you spit at him.

"Mhmm, we both know that's a lie. For starters, I do a lot more than him around here, and you know it-"

"Please, will the pair of you quit it already?" Dutch calls out as he approaches. He must have noticed the way you two were stood so close, squaring up to each other, both too egotistical to let the other talk them down.

Dutch puts his arm out between your bodies, lightly pushing both of you away, forcing you to take a few small steps back. "I've said before that you don't have to get along, but these pathetic arguments happen far too often. Either you both drop this, or I'll have to find a way to make you get along," Dutch threatens, and you know he'll stay true to his word.

You don't bother saying anything, glaring at Javier once more before turning heel and walking away. "You forgot your drink," Javier calls out to you.

"Seems I've lost my appetite," you call back, and you overhear Dutch sigh at your comment.

Part of you feels sick, and you're unsure if that's from the adrenaline pumping in your veins, or the nerves Javier has shaken into you. Why was he stood so close? Your noses were almost touching, and you wouldn't be surprised if he kissed you just to wind you up even more. You try to keep your mind clear as you enter your enclosed tent, taking off your makeup and getting ready for bed, but you can still feel Javier's hot breaths on your skin.

You debate having a towel bath, wanting to wipe away the sin of being so close to that irritating man, but you're already in bed with no motivation to move. As you roll over, the sound of his guitar grows outside, forcing you to place your head under the pillow in an attempt to drown the music out. He's a good musician, and you're happy to admit that, but why does everything about him have to be so... him?

The perfectly coordinated outfits, the way his steel toe boots are always shining, the effortless yet pristine ponytail he always wears, the confidence and vanity in everything he says. He's like one of those flawless characters you've found in awfully written books, no weaknesses or downfalls, no ugly days, everybody loves him, yet his artificialness makes you sick.

And he knows it makes you sick, and he loves to play on it. Tonight isn't the first time he's got up close and personal with you. You know he studies your every move, watching your body language, checking to see if blush grows on your cheeks, searching for your insecurities. The comment he made earlier is still on repeat in your mind... "at least you're putting some effort in tonight." What a smug bastard. He knows how low your self-esteem is, yet you weren't expecting him to pull a Micah and make a comment like that.

But this is what he wants. He wants it to settle in your brain, to weigh you down and make you feel even worse. You just have to not let that happen, but that's easier said than done...

[renaerys]

PPG One-Shot: Mall Santa (Boomer/Mike and Brick/Blossom)

Summary: To earn a little extra cash over the holidays, Brick, Mike, and Boomer agree to help out their buddy Todd at a Mall Santa gig. Shenanigans ensue.

This one is for @snailbutters, @genovah, and @hanaokm. Merry Christmas and happy holidays! Enjoy some Boomike, Blossick, and Capri Sus on me. 

[Cross-posted to AO3]

xxx

There were a lot of things Todd needed: a haircut, for one. His black hair was getting too long for gel and it was really pushing the boundary between greaser sexy and sad trash hobo. Money, for another. But like any other 21-year-old townie with a high school education and two restaurant jobs, he always needed money.

A new best friend, for yet another.

“I’m not your best friend,” Brick snapped as he tied a black tie around his neck. He needed to leave in ten minutes if he was going to be early for his dinner meeting with Oliver Morbucks.

Todd put a hand over his heart like it might fall out of the wound Brick’s words had stabbed there. “Dude, of course you are. I’m totally sorry if I ever gave you the wrong idea.”

Brick grimaced so hard he was sure he’d end up constipated. “No, you idiot. I know you think I’m your best friend. You’ve never shut up about it, even after we graduated high school. I’m pretty sure the whole fucking Peninsula knows it the way you go around shouting it when you’re blasted.”

Todd looked like he’d just received news that his favorite nana wasn’t dying of cancer after all. “Oh, cool. For a second there I thought I really hurt your feelings. You know you’re kinda sensitive, right?”

Oh god.

“What do you want, Todd? I have a really important meeting and I’m not missing it for your bullshit.”

Brick checked his reflection in the bathroom mirror in his one-bedroom apartment in downtown Townsville. It was a shitty hole-in-the-wall kind of place, but Brick was used to squalor. His break was coming, he could feel it. If tonight’s meeting went over well, he’d have a more steady revenue stream and, more importantly, the connections and clout the Morbucks name brought to open doors. All the long days at Red’s Auto Shop saving and scraping by would finally pay off, and just in time for Blossom to graduate from college. It was perfectly planned, meticulously manipulated, all down to this last pivotal dinner.

“Cool, no big deal! I just need to know if you’re free this weekend.”

“Free to do what?” Brick indulged him, because Todd was one of the few people on this planet who wasn’t 100% intimidated by his very presence.

“To help me with this Mall Santa gig I got. Harry Pitt was supposed to be my number two elf, but he ate some bad prawns and they had to, like, airlift him to Citiesville General.”

Brick stopped everything he was doing and glared at his second-to-best friend, which was a key fact because second was not the same as first. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“I know, right?” Todd knew his way around Brick’s embarrassingly small bathroom, opened up the hair wax, and fixed Brick’s styling job. “Dude always had a weak stomach, you remember. But you don’t fuck with bad prawns. I mean, obviously.”

Brick swatted Todd’s hands away and checked his reflection. It was definitely an improvement. “Not that; the Mall Santa thing, obviously!”

“Oh, yeah. So you’ll help me out?”

“Fuck no.”

“Aw, Briiiiiiick,” Todd whined.

Brick grabbed his dinner jacket from the closet barely big enough to fit a small, starving child. Todd, who had latched onto Brick in the seventh grade like a goddamned barnacle and never let go no matter how hard Brick tried to push him away, followed. “Not if you paid me.”

“You’ll get paid! It’s $20 an hour!”

Brick hesitated over the threshold. “That’s higher than minimum wage.” It was higher than his hourly rate at the garage too.

“Seasonal gigs, man. That’s how you win.”

“It’s seriously fucking not.”

Todd, one of three people in the universe who actually cared about Brick on a personal level even though he wasn’t obligated by blood, made his blue eyes big and wide in a way that reminded Brick of Puss-n-Boots from Shrek, Todd’s favorite movie. “C’mon, bruh. Do your bestie a solid? Just this once? I really need the money and they won’t let me keep the gig without two elves to fill in. So please? Pleeeeeeease?”

And Brick, former scourge of Townsville, a Super with the power to literally raze the planet if it so much as tickled his fancy, and the dictionary definition of the boy every father dreads his perfect, pretty little girl falling for against her better judgment, cracked like an egg.

“For fuck’s sake,” he groused. “Just text me the time and place and get out of my face already.”

Todd punched the air with both fists. “Yes!! Oh, hell yes! I love you so much, dude.”

“Blow me.” Brick checked his watch. Shit, now he was merely on time.

“I’d consider it an honor,” Todd said, probably literally serious.

xxx

Boomer rolled glitter on his cheeks and around the edges of his dark blue eyes with the help of a compact as he huddled behind the North Pole set on the first floor of the Townsville Mall. When he was satisfied that he sparkled like the tinsel-festooned Christmas trees in Santa’s twelve-by-fifteen-foot “forest” themselves, he discreetly re-emerged just as the latest child slid off Santa’s lap.

“Merry Christmas, Dan!” bellowed a red and white-clad Todd behind an enormous, curly beard. “Remember to brush your teeth!”

The little boy ran back to his parents, who were having a word with the photographer about purchasing a picture of their son on Santa’s lap. Before Boomer could follow them, Brick was quick to cut him off.

“Where the hell were you?” he demanded. Sour as an un-sugared plum in his festive, candy-striped elf costume, Brick may have absolutely intimidated the seven-year-olds waiting in line with their parents for a turn on Santa’s lap, but Boomer only allowed him a bemused smile.

“Why, I was making toys for the good little boys and girls who came to visit us here at the North Pole,” Boomer said in a raised voice. He looped his arm through his brother’s and let his power surge with enough force to turn Brick around and face the crowd that was definitely within hearing range. “Isn’t that right, Elf Mursten?”

Brick pushed back with inhuman force, but Boomer held his ground with a smile as bright as the glitter on his cheeks as a little girl in overalls trotted forward.

She giggled. “I like your hat.”

“Thank you!” Boomer gushed, and he tipped his pom-pom-topped cap. “And what’s your name?”

The little girl giggled again. “My name’s Alynn.”

“Well, Alynn, why don’t you step right up and take a seat on Santa’s lap? I’m sure he has a great present for a cool girl like you. Right, Elf Mursten?”

Brick glared medieval torture at him, and he managed a smile that showed too many teeth to be anything other than life-threatening. “Of course, Elf Buller.”

Boomer’s smile tightened.

“Ho ho ho! Come on over, Santa doesn’t bite,” Todd said.

“What a psychotic reassurance,” Brick said soft enough for only the Super brothers to hear.

“Hey, Brick?” Boomer said, just as softly. “Cheer the fuck up.” He gave his brother a bone-crushing squeeze around the arm and broke from him. Brick could be a sourpuss when he wanted to be (all the time), but he wouldn’t mess up Todd’s Mall Santa gig when he’d bothered to show up and actually put in the effort at all. Complain as he might about Todd’s exuberance, Brick had always come through for his best friend since the seventh grade.

Boomer, on the other hand, had been very happy to accept Todd’s offer to work the two weeks leading up to Christmas. The hours were reasonable, the pay was good, and Boomer loved children. It was easy money in between local shows he and his garage band had booked over the holidays.

Plus, the photographer had a nice rack.

“Okay, Santa, Alynn. Look over here and say ‘jingle bells’!” A flash went off, and Mike Believe stood to his full height behind the tripod he’d set up for the day’s pictures. Even in reindeer antlers and a bright, red-painted nose, Mike filled out every fold of his brown Rudolph outfit almost to the point of popping a button. His broad chest puffed out when he put his strong hands on his hips and grinned brightly like he wouldn’t pick anywhere else to be right now.

Their eyes met, and Boomer flushed and smiled like a fool.

When Mike winked back at him coyly, his heart leaped into his throat. Mike had gotten home from college just two days ago, but the three weeks he had off for Winter Break would surely fly by like they did every year, and Boomer was determined to spend every moment together.

A tug on Boomer’s green tunic drew his attention. “Can I take a picture with you? Please?” the little girl asked.

Boomer beamed and scooped her up onto his hip. “Of course you can. Hey, Mike? Can you take one of us, please?”

“You bet! Get in close, now.” Mike readied his camera.

“Oh, wait a sec. Why don’t you take this too?” Boomer removed his festive hat and put it on Alynn’s head. It was big on her, but she laughed happily.

They posed for the picture, and Boomer hugged her cheek to cheek.

“Thanks!” The little girl tried to give him his hat back, but he pressed it to her chest.

“You keep it. Merry Christmas. Remember to be good, okay?”

Alynn’s father was waiting with a hand for her to take when she ran back to him, yammering about how she’d met Santa and his super cool elf friend, and Boomer watched them go.

“You know you’ll have to pay for that hat,” Brick said.

Boomer sighed and ran a hand through his cornflower hair. “You know I look better without it.”

Brick frowned deeply. “Uh-huh.”

“If you keep frowning, your face will stick like that.”

“Moron.”

He always had to have the last word. Brick went to stack the empty boxes wrapped in bright, shiny paper, which was probably more productive than blowing up the entire display. Boomer left him to it. It was time for their mid-morning break, anyway.

Todd got up to stretch. “Man, who knew sitting could be so tiring, huh? Whack.” His phone buzzed, and he grinned when he saw the caller ID.

Boomer, however, had eyes only for Mike as the latter turned off his camera and put a sheet over the tripod to protect it. “Working hard, I see.”

When Mike smiled, his dark eyes crinkled in the corners. He had a face made for smiling. “Oh, you know. Just helping out some friends.”

Like Brick, Todd had asked Mike to help out behind the camera for this gig. Mike didn’t exactly need the extra cash given his lacrosse scholarship that covered his college expenses, but the three of them had been as thick as thieves all through high school no matter what Brick said when he was annoyed. No way was Mike going to bail on the chance to help out a bro.

“This is cute,” Mike said, running a thumb over Boomer’s sparkly cheek.

“If only I could convince Brick to wear some,” Boomer said, lacing his fingers in Mike’s as they shuffled to the side of the exhibit behind a blinking Christmas tree for a bit of privacy.

Mike chuckled. “That’ll take a Christmas miracle. But anyway, I don’t want to talk about Brick right now.”

Their kiss was soft and mostly chaste, considering the venue, but Boomer didn’t mind at all. He rose up on his toes to lean into his boyfriend’s superior height and smiled into their kiss. Even in the middle of the Townsville Mall with shoppers mere yards away, for a few seconds Boomer got lost in the fantasy of the forest and the snow drifts, bright lights and magic that came around only once a year and had always touched his heart in a way nothing else quite could.

“Babe! You got here quick!” Todd’s excitement and a small commotion around Santa’s throne drew the lovers’ attention, and Boomer reluctantly broke the kiss. His Super hearing quickly picked up on what was going on.

“What is it?” Mike asked.

Boomer smiled wryly. “That Christmas miracle you wished for. Come on.” He took Mike’s larger hand in his and pulled him back toward the front of the display, where Todd had scooped up a very small, very fashionable Asian woman in his arms.

“Oh my god, don’t do shits in front of the innocent children, Toddy.” Hana patted her high bun and smoothed out her oversized black jacket once Todd released her.

“Hey, I just missed you is all,” Todd said with a genuine smile like he had really, truly missed his girlfriend since this morning when they had last seen each other.

“You guys are too cute,” said Bubbles with a giggle. As usual, she was adorable in blonde twin tails and a holiday-appropriate sweater dress. Shopping bags hung from both her arms, also as usual.

“Right?” Hana said, her deadpan façade melting completely as she beamed at her closest friend.

“No contest.” Bubbles set down her small nation of shopping bags. “Oh! Hi, Boomer!” She dashed to hug him in a flash of blue, and he caught her easily. “Oh my gosh, I love your glitter. You look like a supermodel!”

Boomer laughed and hugged her back. “Thanks for letting me borrow it. I really owe you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Oh, but you definitely need some touching up. Here, let me just…”

Mike had wandered over to Todd and Hana. “Hey, Hana. Are you staying for the holiday?”

Hana shrugged. “Yeah, my art show isn’t until after New Year’s. You know, I’m always looking for more models.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Mike laughed. “I’m honored, but I’m really nothing special, honestly. You might try Butch.”

Todd guffawed. “Oh man, Butch is, like, one of her top models! She painted him for what, six weeks last summer, babe?”

“Seven,” Hana said, dead serious.

Mike smiled nervously. “That’s a lot of inspiration.”

“He is very inspiring,” Hana said, deader and more serious.

“That dude is goals,” Todd said, totally unironically.

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Mike said.

“Aaaaand done.” Bubbles stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Honestly? You’re the most beautiful elf the North Pole ever employed.”

Boomer snickered. “Don’t tell Brick that.”

“Don’t tell me what, now?” Brick emerged from his useless empty box stacking task, glitter-less and severely lacking in Christmas cheer.

Bubbles gasped, right on cue. “Brick! Where is your glitter? Get over here.”

Brick made a weird face. “What are you talk—hey!”

Bubbles all but accosted him with the glitter pen. Hana cheered and applauded, and Todd joined in because he liked to cheer and applaud in general.

“What are you—get off!” Brick shoved Bubbles hard, but a flash of pink caught her before she could crash into anything.

Blossom peered around her totally unfazed sister, a tray of lattes in one hand and her perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised. “Brick,” she said.

Brick swallowed. “Blossom.”

She looked nice in leggings and a sweater dress that matched Bubbles’ style, except where Bubbles’ was white, Blossom’s was a scarlet that rivaled the shade of Brick’s eyes.

“I brought you guys coffee,” Blossom said, her eyes trained on Brick even as she held out the tray.

Mike took the tray before it could become collateral damage in whatever was going on between the two of them.

“Here you go.” Mike offered one to Boomer, who gratefully accepted it.

“Thanks!”

“I thought you weren’t getting home until tomorrow,” Brick said, as if he and Blossom were the only two people there.

“Change of plans,” Blossom said. “Problem?”

Brick seemed to remember what he was wearing and snatched his elf hat from his head. He bunched it up between his hands like that would hide his imagined shame. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine, clearly. But it wasn’t Boomer’s place to intrude. He would have been extremely happy for it to end there, but sadly Blossom, like his brother, had a flair for the dramatic and an affinity for the center of attention.

She sauntered up to him and smeared the bit of glitter Bubbles had managed to draw on his cheek before he’d shoved her off. “Good,” she said, half an invitation and half a challenge.

Brick didn’t bend easily. Boomer knew his brother as well as he knew himself, and he knew Brick didn’t relent, never gave in unless he was well and truly beaten, which was rare. But he slackened now, lips parting and eyes falling. Even though his arms stayed stubbornly at his sides and he didn’t do something as scandalous as hold his girlfriend’s hand in public, he melted under her touch and attention.

“All right! Bloss, you’re back early! This is massive, like, supernova massive,” Todd said. “Hey, I know! Let’s throw a party at mine tonight! Brick said you weren’t coming back for another couple of days, so this is like a cool early Christmas present to all of us.”

Bubbles gasped. “Oh my gosh, yes! Let’s all go to Todd’s tonight, just like we used to. I’m calling Robin right now.”

“We can make it a real Christmas party,” Blossom said. Somehow, she’d gotten ahold of Bubbles’ glitter pen and now smeared a generous amount on Brick’s cheeks until he gleamed without suffering a nuclear meltdown. A Christmas miracle, indeed.

“You’ll wear the Santa suit,” Hana said. Demanded.

“Ho ho ho! You got it, babe.”

“That thing’s a rental,” Brick said. “And it’s, like, 75 degrees outside.”

“If he gets too hot, I’ll hose him down,” Hana said.

Brick smartly decided not to press her on that one.

“I like your elf costume, Brick,” Blossom teased. Maybe.

“I’m burning it as soon as I get paid,” Brick said.

“I thought it was a rental like Todd’s?”

He hesitated, trapped by his own logic, and she laughed softly and kissed the side of his mouth. Brick froze and played it off like it didn’t affect him, but his eyes were drawn to Blossom’s lips for the next six whole minutes. Boomer really didn’t get why he had to make everything so damn complicated.

“Hey, hombres, our break is up and I see a super cute kid waiting to sit on the softest lap in Townsville,” Todd said, sinking back onto his candy cane throne and patting his lap.

Brick visibly cringed.

“It could be worse,” Mike whispered to Brick. “At least this time we get to keep our shirts on.”

Boomer smiled at the memory of Todd’s last seasonal gig he’d roped Brick and Mike into over the summer. The shirtless carwash had admittedly been one of his more rewarding part-time jobs, and Boomer had the photo evidence to cherish the memory extremely fondly.

Blossom and Hana retreated behind Mike while Bubbles finished up her phone call with Robin and Brick admitted the next child on set.

“Welcome to the North Pole,” he said with all the cheer of an old tire. Nonetheless, his cheeks dazzled. “What’s your name, kid?”

She looked up at him but didn’t say anything. Boomer noticed her shyness and decided he better intervene.

“Hey there,” he said, taking a knee so he could be on her eye-level. “Merry Christmas.”

That alarmed her even more, and she hugged Brick’s leg.

“What the—” Brick put his hands up like he didn’t know what to do with them. “Great.”

The girl’s parents were busy talking to Mike about the picture packages and didn’t seem to notice what was going on.

“Uh,” Boomer said, ready to flag them down before the little girl got scared or started to cry. They’d been lucky this morning with only one child throwing a temper tantrum out of the tens they’d seen.

“All right, kid. I hope you have a good grip.” Brick floated off the ground with the little girl clinging to his leg and flew over to Todd’s throne.

Boomer was so flabbergasted by his brother’s gross disregard for this child’s safety in front of her parents that he was momentarily stunned where he kneeled. It was over in about two and a half seconds, with her parents none the wiser and the little girl still in one piece, miraculously. Brick peeled her off him and dropped her on Todd’s lap.

“Name,” Brick demanded. And then, reluctantly: “…To check you off the Nice List.”

The little girl looked up at him with wide-eyed wonderment, or maybe fear. “Morana.”

“Morana. Super. Tell Todd—I mean, Santa—what you want. And smile for the camera.”

Todd didn’t miss a beat and wrapped his arms loosely around her to hold her safely in place. “Morana, that’s a pretty name. Wanna tell me what you want for Christmas?”

Morana pointed at Brick. “That one.”

Brick turned as red as his messy man bun. Todd wheezed.

“Oh, yeah? Well, that one’s taken, but I bet I can get you a picture together. How ‘bout it?” Todd asked.

Boomer was up and moving in a blue flash. “That can be arranged.” He shoved his brother with a healthy burst of Super strength, and Brick all but fell on his knee next to Todd’s throne. Boomer waved back at Mike for the picture.

“Big smile now!” Mike said cheerfully, and snapped the picture.

“What the hell is up with these kids?” Brick asked when Morana skipped back to her parents and started chattering at them in a language Boomer didn’t recognize but assumed must be all good things from the way she grinned from ear to ear. “They get bolder every year.”

“Or you’re just getting softer,” Boomer teased.

“Yeah, right.”

Blossom laughed at something Hana said on a nearby bench, drawing both their eyes.

“Whatever you say, man,” Boomer said.

xxx

Todd’s party was a nostalgic and long-overdue affair later that evening. Unlike Boomer, who had to make do in a small studio apartment on the outskirts of Citiesville where the rent was more manageable and his commute didn’t matter when flying anywhere took only minutes, Todd lived in a big house he took care of for his often absent, globe-trotting parents. Blossom, Bubbles, and Robin had taken the initiative and strung up Christmas lights, while Boomer created and managed the playlist for the night. They had a good crowd with old friends from high school and new ones from work and college gathered for no excuse other than to have a good time.

Butch, Buttercup, Mike, and Todd had set up beer pong in the basement, where most of the festivities were taking place. As usual, the shit talking and macho bravado had soared to ludicrous heights.

“Come on, BC,” Todd goaded. “Money shot, right here.” He fluffed his Santa beard, the ends of which were damp with beer. Buttercup had one cup left to hit.

“I’m about to straight-up tea bag you with this ping pong ball, Todd, I swear to god.” Buttercup tried to focus on her aim after too many beers and the distraction of Todd’s stupid Santa beard.

“Do it, fucking do it,” Butch said, bobbing on the balls of his feet and slightly manic with the competition and holiday cheer, probably.

“I’m gonna fucking do it!”

“I don’t think you can fucking do it,” Mike said.

“Ohhhhh!” Butch hollered when Buttercup lost her temper and threw the ball too hard. It bounced off Todd’s beard and fell on the floor, leaving the last cup untouched.

“Mike, you cheater!” Buttercup shouted.

Mike burst out laughing.

“All riiiiight, the Toddster’s final shot. You filming, babe?” Todd asked.

Hana, across the table from Boomer, had her phone out and poised. “Kick their asses, Toddy.”

“Yeah, bring it on, Toddy,” Butch jeered.

“Oh, it’s about to be brought.”

“Oh god, please, you peaked in high school,” Buttercup said.

“Hey, he plateaued,” Mike said. “There’s a difference.”

“Just take the damn shot!”

Todd shot, hit the rim of the solo cup, and missed. Buttercup and Butch threw up their hands and whooped. They were still in the game, and the stakes were even higher now.

Boomer squeezed Mike’s arm in a silent excuse and went to change the music…only to find Brick and Blossom making out in the hallway like it was their last night on Earth.

The music was fine, he decided. No need to interrupt Brick and Blossom trying to fuse with the wall and face his brother’s cock blocked wrath. Discreetly, Boomer snapped a picture on his phone and texted it to Bubbles.

[Boomer: Shooketh]

Bubbles’ reply was lightning fast.

[Bubbles: More like shattered!!]

[Bubbles: Better get out of there before they catch you lol 💀]

After another hour (and Brick and Blossom’s reemergence from the wall in one piece with not a hair out of place because god forbid), Boomer and Mike decided to head out early. They went back to Boomer’s apartment, where a very excited Pomeranian welcomed them home.

“Hi, Pumpkin!” Mike brightened like the sun and scooped up his favorite girl, left in Boomer’s care while he was away at college. “Who’s ready for a walk?”

They walked Pumpkin and let her tire herself out running around the suburban neighborhood where it was too late at night for any cars to be out. A half hour later, they were curled up on the loveseat with Pumpkin snoozing in her fuzzy bed at their feet and an old black-and-white Christmas movie playing on low volume on the television.

“Hey,” Boomer said, lifting his head from Mike’s chest to look at him properly.

Mike set aside the hot chocolate he’d been drinking and pulled Boomer up by his waist. “Hey, you. What is it?”

Boomer smiled. It was silly, really. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh?” Mike returned his smile and leaned closer. He smelled like soap, a hint of chocolate, and something else that made Boomer want to bury his face in his neck.

“Just happy,” Boomer said.

“Really? I can’t tell.”

Boomer sat up a little higher. The neck of Mike’s old lacrosse jersey he wore dipped down his shoulder, too big on him and softer than a cloud. He pressed a chaste kiss to the underside of Mike’s jaw. “How about now?”

“Hm, nope, I don’t think I quite got that.”

Boomer threaded his fingers though Mike’s short, dark hair at the nape of his neck. Feeling coquettish, he gave his ear a nip. “How about now?”

Mike shifted on the couch and pulled Boomer’s bent legs onto his lap. His voice was as warm as the hot chocolate he’d been drinking. “I think I’m starting to get a vague understanding.”

Boomer laughed and painted a trail of kisses along Mike’s jaw, up his chin. He pressed a strong hand to his chest and put a little power behind it. Centimeters apart, he could taste the lingering heat of the hot chocolate on Mike’s breath. “And now?”

Mike’s eyes drooped and darkened. His hands slipped around Boomer’s waist, under the jersey, a silent entreaty. “I think you can do a little better than that, Angel.”

The secret nickname broke Boomer’s resolve, and he kissed his boyfriend full on the mouth with all the confidence and shamelessness he couldn’t give him that morning at the mall surrounded by children and their parents. Mike’s shirt soon found its way to the floor along with Boomer’s borrowed jersey. The loveseat was too short to accommodate Mike’s height comfortably, and after a few moments Boomer held him close and flew them to the bed in a flash.

“I’ll never get over how hot that is,” Mike said, breathless.

Boomer blushed, unable to help it. He was careful with his strength around Mike, but sometimes the X bonded to his bones pushed him to the raw, carnal boundaries of humanity. Mike’s hand on his cheek drew him out of those spiraling thoughts.

“I mean it,” Mike said. “I love that part of you. And I trust you completely.”

Words did not come easily, nor did they seem appropriate in that moment. Boomer bent to kiss Mike again and pull him as close as he could get. Wrapped up in the warm sheets and each other, Boomer’s silly little thought that he had never been happier grew and swelled to heights he never could have imagined before Mike. They lay there together, lazy and sleepy, as the credits of their forgotten holiday movie played on the television.

“One more semester,” Mike said, “and then I graduate.”

“I can’t believe you’re almost a college graduate,” Boomer said. “It feels like you left ages ago.”

“Four years is a long time, but it’s not forever. And you should get ready.”

Boomer looked up at him. “Ready for what?”

“To move, of course.”

“Move?”

“Hey, I love how cozy your apartment is, but I’m pretty sure Pumpkin would appreciate her own room once we’re living together full time.”

Boomer sat up properly. “You… You want to move in together? With me?”

“Of course! The only question is, where do you want to go?”

Boomer covered his mouth. Of course he had thought about getting a place with Mike, but that always seemed like the distant future. What if they didn’t stay together? What if the long distance was too hard? What if Mike met someone else at college? Brick didn’t talk about it much, but after a few too many drinks one night the year Blossom and Mike both left for college, he’d confessed how afraid he was that he would lose her forever. How can the old be exciting and fun compared to the amazing, new adventures she would be having?

But from the way Boomer had caught them all but absorbing each other at Todd’s tonight, Blossom seemed perfectly happy to keep him. And Mike…

“You’re serious,” Boomer said.

“I’ve never been more serious.” Mike took his hand and kissed his knuckles carefully. “I can’t wait to start our lives together.”

Boomer could have cried. He almost did. Life was hard, even for a Super like him. With endless bills to pay and the occasional monster to dispose of, sometimes he felt like he was being pulled in too many directions without anyone there to help pick up the slack. But this… This was his.

“Me too,” Boomer said. “And I don’t care where we go, as long as it’s together.”

“Well, cool. In that case, if you’re not opposed to it, was thinking farther north, like Metroville. There are some great photography jobs there that I want to apply for, and the music scene is bigger than it is here—”

“Yes! A hundred percent yes, let’s do it. When do we leave?”

Mike laughed. “June 1st, as soon as they hand me my diploma.”

Six months. It had a date now. Unthinking, Boomer threw his arms around Mike’s broad shoulders and hugged him tight. “I’ll mark my calendar.”

“It’s a date.”

Incidentally, they did not get much sleep the rest of that night.

xxx

I told myself I wasn’t going to do a ton of fluff, but damnit all, Boomike is SUPER CUTE and I couldn’t help myself. Let them have the happy ending they deserve. Thanks for reading!

[silverhandy]

House call

Pre canon. V being reckless and Viktor being worried.

It's hard to make a name for yourself in Night City, no matter who you are. Especially when you're a rookie ripperdoc trying to cover all the bases that Trauma Team doesn't give a damn about. He learned a lot back then - about other people, about himself, and about medicine, but the most important thing that came out of it was a simple promise to himself, a breaking point signifying that he has found himself a spot in the city's food chain - from now on, he won't be making house calls.

Luckily for Viktor, these days are far behind him, but when a call comes, he still packs the bag.

Read on AO3 

         When Viktor closed the deal with Misty on the space for his brand new clinic, he told himself he’d never go on a house call ever again. That was one of the reasons to finally get himself an actual clinic in the first place. It was hard enough to convince Misty that yes, what she called a ‘friend discount’ on rent really wasn’t necessary, but what turned out to be even harder was backing away from that statement after the first month of burning through the last of his savings to properly equip the damn place, every europenny of which he earned beating the living shit out of other people for the crowd’s entertainment, or, at the very end of his professional career, getting the living shit beaten out of him more often than he’d be willing to admit. He wouldn’t say he was surprised, but he’d still clench his teeth at how much of a money shredder equipment and basic setup was. Investing in cyberware to install without a baseline clientele was a stretch on his part, but worth it in the long run, or at least that’s what he was telling himself. In the beginning, he was a new face on the ripperdoc stage, without many people who could vouch for his skills or spread the word around Night City. He had to build that up over the years, from client to client, until he arrived at this ambiguous, albeit comfortable position he found himself at now - a bit too expensive for sex workers in dire need of a new leg, arm or face, but at the same time not fancy enough for corpos looking to spend their eurodollars on something extra their company-funded tech package didn’t cover.

He didn’t mind that, not really. The clinic was paying its own rent at this point, with more than enough still left for his personal needs. Most often he chose to invest it back into the clinic and get something like a brand new Kiroshi straight from a retailer without worrying whether the money would find its way back to him. He didn’t need the extra cash, didn’t need to go the extra mile, both figuratively and literally, to make a living. Just a few years back, right after finishing his apprenticeship, he found himself without a stable spot to practice his newfound profession and eventually resolved to the only way he could earn those killer fees back - responding to calls from patients too far gone to drag themselves to the closest ripperdoc. That added an additional layer of time and money, driving around the city from point A to point B, and then C and D and so on, playing those little fetch quests that required him to lurk in the parts of the city he’d rather avoid. That was the worst part - he had to grab his bag and go whether the patient needed him to be at that moment, be it next to a stinking, muddy trash container in a dark alley or a cockroach-infested megablock that had a mean-looking gang member at every corner, just waiting for shit to go down. In hindsight, Viktor would sometimes do more harm than good, dealing with emergency cases as a barely qualified ripper, but at least the patients didn’t die right then and there, whatever was left of their cyberware snatched by someone, a brand new owner who’s been eying a potential update. Fucking vultures, always lurking around, walking in simultaneous with risking getting a bullet as well, but he never let it scare him.

         His boxing training sure came in handy in times like this.

         Ah, how young he was back then. How inexperienced, mostly putting together the people and their technologies, salvaging what was left to salvage and removing everything else while trying to keep the damage to a bare, necessary minimum. At least one good thing came out of it - he had to learn damn fast and eventually installing new pieces of chrome seemed like a breeze compared to removing the twisted, shattered, or melted bundles of metal and wires that these tiny works of genius have turned into. It was a grisly job, one that made his current clinic in a run-down garage akin to a luxury. In many ways, it was. For one, it was much calmer, working within his own, controlled environment, with most appointments scheduled in advance. A real, damn luxury.

         And so he made use of that luxury and just as Misty gave him the keys, complete with a plush, aggressively pink charm and a small, hand-carved figurine of something he could never quite discern, to the rusty gate that opened his soon to be clinic, he promised himself he’d never do a house call again. But as years went by, he came to realize that where there are friends, there are exceptions and V was one of the few people he was willing to make exceptions for.

    It’s not like he expected it, either. Misty would later say that she knew something bad would happen that day, had a premonition or a gut feeling or whatever she called it, but he’d just shake his head and give her a grin. Sure, Mist. Sure.

         Viktor didn’t believe in things like this, has seen too much in too little time to give his faith to anything higher than his own hands, be it corporations, capitalism, religion, or fate. He didn’t need to, having built enough skill and life experience that there was no need to extend his trust beyond that.

       At first, V didn’t even call, she texted him instead, a scrambled collection of letters that must’ve lost their meaning at some point on their way from her brain to her fingers. One after the other, they kept coming and Viktor could swear that he could feel V’s agitation seeping through the screen. The doctor just frowned and found V’s number on the contact list, turning the volume up a bit on his interface before he unknowingly started to make a mental list of what he might need to put in his worn-out gym-turned-medical bag that he still kept somewhere on the bottom of one of his cupboards. The melody of an awaiting connection kept playing in his head, each note adding a drop to his slowly increasing pool of anxiety. Just as he thought she wouldn’t pick up, that a kind, robotic voice would send him straight on his merry way to voicemail, the music abruptly stopped, signifying an ongoing phone call.

         ‘V? You okay?’ he asked, trying to keep his voice casual, the way you’d ask a friend how they’re doing after an all-night bender. Maybe that’s what happened, maybe the merc just had more than a little too much booze and was drunk texting whoever was high enough on her contact list.

       All that answered him was dull silence, interrupted from time to time by a muffled sounds. As Viktor opened his mouth to ask again, V’s voice came, but not the one he knew, not the cocky blunder with curse words heavily woven into it, but a raspy, shaky whisper. If V’s portrait photo hasn’t been clearly visible in his open calls window, he could swear it must be someone else.

         ‘Vik, can...can you…’ a cough, much wetter sounding than a healthy person’s cough should sound. And something metal clanking on the floor. ‘Can you come? I’m…’ and another one, much longer than the other, followed by a few long, raspy  breaths.

     ‘Where are you?’ Viktor asked, already pulling his old bag from under the counter. There it was, just as he remembered it. Even the blood spatters and grease that just wouldn't come off, having bitten their way into the material, were still there.

         ‘My place’ she just said, or rather spat out as another coughing fit overwhelmed her.

         ‘Hang in there, okay? I’ll be there in ten” he said before realizing that she has abruptly ended the call before he could even finish the sentence. He didn’t care about such a minor offense at the moment, looking over his equipment and taking whatever he may need with him, filling the bag with all kinds of medical tools that might come in handy to the point where the zipper just barely closed.

         His initial anxiety was replaced by adrenaline, a familiar autopilot kicking in. V didn’t need him to worry his brains out, she didn’t need him panicked or unsure, what she needed right now was an experienced doc who could get the job done, even if he didn’t exactly know what the job was just yet. He put the bag over his shoulder, not letting its weight drag him down, and headed out, jumping two stairs at once. He didn’t go through the shop, not wanting to alarm Misty or be flooded by her questions, and took a short way out through the gate on the inner yard, finding himself on the busy street, full of people despite how late it already was. He didn’t stop to contemplate it, instead just hopped on his bike and slammed the gas handles, praying to a God he didn’t believe in that an NCPD patrol wouldn’t stop him for various traffic misdemeanors. He parked right outside the megablock where V’s apartment was in and practically ran up, navigating between the groups of people that were clearly enjoying their night out, chatting with neighbors or grabbing a bite from one of the many vendors that had their stall in one of the halls. The smell of old grease, fried fish and heavy spices hit his nostrils right along the nauseatingly sweet scent of weeks old trash and drying paint as he made his way through this labyrinth of a building.

         For a second he was afraid that he had made a wrong turn or run through one flight of stairs too much, but the familiar, greenish gleam of a travel station was enough of a confirmation that he was indeed heading the right way. He finally stood in front of V’s door, a steel imbued construction identical to any other, not even a number plate in sight, but an angrily red dot indicating that the lock was closed. He raised the hand to knock and when he heard no answer, not even a single sound from inside the apartment, he felt another tingle of anxiety, but he pushed it to the back of his head. He knocked again, harder this time, with more urgency, as if the door mechanism gave a damn since V apparently didn’t hear him. He cursed under his breath and then it hit him, a solution so simple that he’d burst out laughing if he wasn’t feeling so on edge.

         He still had it, after all. The first (and only) real piece of cyberware he got for himself, a simple lock opener that came in handy so many times in his early days, saved so many lives. He thought about uninstalling or even taking it out entirely so many times, after all, there were regulations about these things these days that he didn’t quite meet, but who cares. Flooded with relief that his sense of lawfulness has dulled into a table knife over the years, he started working the lock and after a mere few seconds he heard a familiar sound, identical all over the city in places like this. The dot changed to green and he waved his hand in front of it, triggering the mechanism opening the door. As he rushed into the pitch-black apartment, the blinds closed shut, V’s silhouette sprawled out on the floor, barely visible only because of the flickering light creeping in from the corridor, Viktor sighed.

        He hated doing house calls. But damn, the things he'd do for that kid.

[imikesmith-blog]

Why You Can't Afford to Be Bad at Bookkeeping

Maintaining your books is not one thing you must do alone as a tax-savings strategy; it may also forestall you from losing your mental health and obtaining dragged into a possible cause over commingling your funds. Here are 5 important reasons for maintaining a separate chequebook and set of books for every of your businesses: 1. company veil. initial and foremost, maintaining a separate chequebook substantiates the company veil, one among the first reasons for forming a brand new corporation. Having a separate chequebook shows you acknowledge the corporate is its own distinct entity. what is more, separate checkbooks can hopefully encourage you to not commingle personal and business funds. 2. Tax savings. Separate banking can improve accounting procedures, forestall payments from being incomprehensible , and supply higher records to boost your official document. 3. Audit protection. Having a separate chequebook can improve your probabilities in associate degree office audit. 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It’s fully crucial for small-business house owners to a minimum of take into account QuickBooks as their primary accounting software. Yes, there ar a couple of alternatives to QuickBooks, however not several, and even fewer price considering. QuickBooks is that the most reasonable, easy, efficient, and effective accounting code ever written. that will sound a touch crummy or over the highest, however it’s true. Here ar simply a couple of things that QuickBooks will do to assist you become a far better, smarter business owner:    Keep essential data at your fingertips. QuickBooks generates reports that enable you to simply keep au fait your business’s most vital monetary data, like profit and loss by product or property, assets by client, sales reports, or expense reports. higher use of your on-line banking industry. QuickBooks permits you to harness the net advantages that several banks provide. It coordinates with most banks, even lesser-known ones, to supply instant data therefore you'll transfer transactions and reconcile your knowledge with ease.    Collect a lot of of your assets. QuickBooks permits you to come up with professional-looking invoices that may be delivered via email and provide your customers the choice to form on-line payments. you'll additionally generate statements and make varied reports to see UN agency your bad customers ar for assortment functions and to assist you create higher choices concerning your assets.    Delegate your accounting services with ease. If you're the kind that hates accounting, QuickBooks can still build your life easier. Once you perceive the basics—and i like to recommend that each business owner a minimum of master the basics—you will delegate tasks, from accommodative to overseeing monetary reportage. QuickBooks can even enable your controller to log in on-line to access your monetary knowledge whereas doing all of your accounting.    Pay your business bills expeditiously. Let QuickBooks track your accounts collectible therefore you'll higher manage your income and pay bills once it's most convenient for you. Ultimately you will save on past-due fees and interest, and you’ll be able to move together with your vendors during a a lot of skilled manner.    Receive payments right away. settle for mastercard payments on-line, and have the funds recorded directly in your QuickBooks file. you'll even upgrade your QuickBooks code and technical school provides to integrate a location (POS) system together with your cashbox and merchant/credit card machine.    Access your monetary data anyplace. the net version of QuickBooks permits you or your controller to access your books anyplace you have got a web association.    Use scanning code to trace receipts. Scan in receipts through a service like NeatReceipts, that right away records and categorizes the knowledge in QuickBooks. you'll then keep a duplicate in your cloud storage of all receipts and contracts for audit and legal protection. The list goes on and on. Please take this suggestion seriously; the earlier you integrate this method into your business, the earlier you’ll see cash savings, larger revenue, and a lot of profit. Don’t be scared of QuickBooks—embrace it, and it'll set you free! OK, that was a touch a lot of, however I will promise you this: it'll prevent cash, and you’ll additionally get dependent on the limited “ping” you hear each time you enter a check or item within the register. Get facilitate implementing your register Be honest with yourself: does one wish to try to to the accounting for your business? If therefore, great. But if not, who's attending to do it? Have a plan! affirmative, this can be my best try at providing you with associate degree “intervention.” consider yourself within the mirror and assess your level of dedication, knowledge, and accessible time to implement and maintain your books. However, whereas it’s fine if you have got somebody else do the dirty work, you continue to want a general understanding of the method and register in order that you, because the captain of your team, will administer the method.The following are five options to consider when it comes to divvying up the accounting duties. Option 1: Learn QuickBooks and input items yourself. I know this strikes fear in some of your hearts. In fact, this may be why your books currently aren’t getting done. But you still may want to hold off delegating any part of the process until you put in a few hours a week to learn the basics, like inputting figures. At the bare minimum, you need to be able to view and print reports and check the accuracy of the work. Option 2: Hire a family member to keep up the books. This is a great way to have the teenagers or young adults you're supporting financially earn their keep and teach them about entrepreneurship in the process. They'll learn about the heart and soul of small business by doing the books. Adding them to the payroll is also a great tax write-off. Option 3: Engage a local bookkeeper. This could be a local college student wanting internship/externship hours or a seasoned bookkeeper with affordable rates. It can free up your time so you can do what you know best: Make money for the business. This is also a natural step in the growth of a business before choosing the next option. Remember, this person will probably not prepare your taxes or do significant planning for you; they'll simply maintain your books affordably so you can focus on more pressing tasks. Option 4: Hire someone “in house.” You'd be amazed how quickly you can find a local college student or bookkeeper wanting to pick up some part- or full-time work for an hourly wage. This person could come in daily or a few days each week to input data and print reports. You might need to provide some supervision, or you could have your outside CPA train and supervise your in-house bookkeeper. It can be extremely convenient to have an employee available to keep things in order. You can also hire someone who can wear different hats and help with other tasks, like answering phones, scanning, doing collections, shipping, or running errands. Option 5: Use your CPA or tax professional throughout the year. Many business owners like the comfort and security of knowing they not only have highly skilled accountants doing their books daily but the benefit of one-stop shopping for tax planning and quarterly and annual reports as well. It may seem more expensive, but the value of better long-term planning and a higher quality of books can far exceed the cost. More mature and seasoned business owners may naturally “graduate” to a more experienced bookkeeper when the time is right. At most firms, you can get an accounting support package tailored to your budget and needs. Get a more robust handle on your finances with QuickBooks. Here is some interesting article i saw on Internet   How to Fix Quickbooks Error 3371 How to Fix Error H101, H202, H303, and H505 in QuickBooks Solved: Error 1935 When Installing QuickBooks Desktop 2020

[farmauctionscentre2-blog]

Choosing An Auction Firm

Equipment Auctions Centre

Estimating your property benefit:

Usually, one of the very first issues a company operator will inquire me is, "how a lot will the property bring at an auction". Just after finding the time to critique the property, the auctioneer really should provide the client a conservative estimate with the sale dependent upon his encounter as well as existing current market tendencies. It really is critical which the organization give reasonable expectations hence the vendor might make informed decisions according to their most effective curiosity.

Land Auctions Centre

Payment and Costs:

Is definitely the company you are considering operating for you or against you? The agreement you choose may perhaps identify this.

A company operator really should cautiously look at how the auction corporation is compensated. The most common commission structures contain: straight fee, outright purchase of belongings, assured foundation having a split previously mentioned to equally auctioneer and seller, assured base with anything over about to auctioneer or even a flat price structure.

Inside a straight fee composition, the corporation is paid out an agreed upon share on the full sale.

Within an outright acquire arrangement, the auctioneer only gets to be your finish consumer. The company purchases your assets and relocates them. Although this may be a possibility in certain exceptional cases, consider they will would like to order your assets at a really reduced rate to help make a financial gain in a afterwards day.

Within a bare minimum base ensure, the auction business assures the vendor the auction will produce a least quantity of revenue. Nearly anything over that quantity possibly goes for the auction corporation or split with the vendor. While a vendor may possibly come to feel a lot more comfy undertaking an auction figuring out that he is certain a minimal quantity for his sale, remember that it's the very best desire in the auction firm to protected a minimum amount base price as low as doable in order lower their financial liability to the seller and secure increased payment with the sale.

Within a flat price composition, the auctioneer agrees to point out up with the sale and simply call the auction. There's no incentive for that auctioneer to get the best price ranges for your personal property. The auction firm is compensated whatever the consequence within your sale.

What is the greatest option for enterprise owners? In my working experience, an arranged straight commission framework. This puts the duty about the auction corporation to supply the ideal final result for everyone involved. There exists an incentive for the auction firm to operate tricky for equally events, set up and operate a specialist sale, get the greatest bid and market just about every item about the stock. Effective auctions translate into a increased bottom line for equally the vendor as well as the auction company.

Auction Charges:

In most auction agreements the expenses to conduct an auction are handed to the seller. Should the auction business pays with the fees, it really is just absorbed in larger fee fees.

All expenses should be agreed upon ahead of time within a composed agreement. Standard costs will include things like the prices of advertising, labor, lawful service fees, vacation, gear rentals, security, postage and printing. A good auction business can estimate all costs dependent upon their practical experience in past auctions. An arrangement ought to be precise expenses charged as expenditures, not an believed amount of money.

Promoting is usually the very best value in conducting an auction. The auction business ought to setup an promoting marketing campaign that should boost the sale to its ideal benefit and not overspend to easily publicize the auction firm.

After the auction is finish, the auction business should give a complete breakdown of all charges on the vendor, together with copies of receipts within the auction summary report.

Buyer's High quality:

What's a buyer's premium? Should you show up at auctions regularly, you might be really knowledgeable about this expression. The auction enterprise rates a rate to the customer every time they acquire an item at auction.

The buyer's top quality is all over considering the fact that the 1980's which is typical auction follow. It had been to start with employed by auction houses that can help offset costs of managing brick and mortar long-lasting auction facilities. Due to the fact then, it's distribute to all facets of the auction marketplace. It's outstanding in online auctions and makes it possible for auction providers to go over included expenditures incurred from on line gross sales.

It is the duty in the auction company to supply very clear disclosure with the buyer's high quality to each the potential buyers and also the sellers. Those not knowledgeable about auctions tend to be taken back again through the buyer's top quality. They looked on it as an below handed way for the auction company to produce more dollars. Reliable auction organizations will give total disclosure in the auction contract, ad and bidder registration.

Ordinarily, an auction corporation will cost on the net customers a better buyer's high quality share than all those attending an auction in particular person. Further charges are incurred with on-line bidding and therefore are billed appropriately to on the internet buyers. This presents the vendor a stage actively playing area for each on line buyers and people attending the auction in human being. Without the buyer's premium, there is not any method to do this.

Pre-Sales:

We've all been there. We're seeking forward to attending an auction only to search out that some goods have been sold just before the auction date.

Being an auctioneer with above thirty-six years of working experience, I'm able to actually condition that pre-sales will hurt an auction. Whenever a corporation decides to liquidate their property, it really is simple to market off high-end pieces of kit by way of on line resources, products suppliers or to other firms. The seller receives instant hard cash and avoids having to pay a fee to an auction corporation.

Auctioneer's locate on their own appearing to acting inside a self-serving potential when probable shoppers say they are planning to sell off pieces in their stock just before an auction. It truly is really hard not to consider the auctioneer's fee every time they warn you to not pre-sell anything at all. Certainly, the auctioneer would like to get paid a commission on all those profits but it's a lot more critical the auctioneer secure the sale from prospective damaging backlash that comes from pre-selling. The shopping for community is aware when an auction has long been "cherry picked" before the sale and it demonstrates inside their bidding. It gets a sale of "leftovers" which impacts price ranges.

A consumer who buys before the auction normally will not attend the sale. They by now bought devices in a great price tag without having levels of competition. If they do go to the auction, they have a tendency to permit other individuals know of their good pre-sale buys which again, impacts charges and also the all round excitement of the sale.

It is actually significant to be aware of that auctions function most effective which has a complete inventory. You need competition on your larger conclude devices. The straightforward to market merchandise ensure it is attainable to get respectable selling prices for hard to market items.

Whenever a enterprise owner decides to liquidate their machines property, there may be only one option to make it happen suitable. Employing a good auction company will assist you by using a professional, orderly and well timed liquidation.

[meadeqkburnscn73insurance-blog]

car insurance 400 a month

car insurance 400 a month

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[carmenlire]

Bordered with Sunflowers

Day 2 of Flufftober: Flowers

read on ao3

Magnus knows that he’s an affectionate person. He likes kissing and cuddles. He likes showering his partner with gifts. He likes words and poetic declarations.

He’d worried for so long that he was too much. No one ever stayed. There was never anyone who wanted Magnus as much as he wanted them.

The scales were always tipped in his relationships. He loved too much, too fast. Magnus had grown weary of finding someone. He’d declared loud and often that Magnus Bane didn’t need anyone. He enjoyed his profligate lifestyle too much to settle down.

And then he met Alec.

Alec, his darling Alexander, who doesn't hesitate to put his heart on his sleeve. He makes grand declarations that are as beautiful as they are blunt and every time it leaves Magnus stunned.

Magnus has been with thousands of people, it’s true. Through all of his partners-- whether it lasted a day or a decade-- he’s learned that everyone has their own love language. Some use their words, some prefer touch, and others are partial to gifts that express their feelings.

He’s known for ages that he enjoys them all. He’s always all in when it comes to relationships. How lucky for him that Alec’s the same.

Alec buys him trinkets-- a cupcake on a rainy Tuesday just because he wanted to cheer Magnus up, a book by an author Magnus adores the day it comes out. On their ten month anniversary, Magnus had been utterly charmed when Alec had walked into the loft with a gift-wrapped package in tow. He’d carefully peeled the paper away, revealing a framed picture of the two of them, taken on a sunny spring day in Central Park.

The date hadn’t been on his radar. He’d been racking his brain for a reason why Alec would give him such a lovely, personal present when Alec had sheepishly told him that it’d been ten months since their first date.

Magnus likes to think that he’d kept his swooning to a minimum but he just knows that it had all been on display for Alec as he’d set the picture down on the end table and stepped into his arms, hugging him for all he was worth.

Alec likes lazy Sunday mornings and cuddling on the couch. The truth is, his boyfriend’s a damned octopus.

Magnus loves every minute of it.

He reciprocates, though Alec makes his head spin trying to find ways to surprise him. Touch is no issue between them. They both hold their own just fine.

Communication is also great. Not to say that they never argue but their relationship is by far the healthiest that Magnus has ever experienced.

It’s presents that make Magnus stew and plan and brainstorm. Alec is a shadowhunter and carries the same philosophy as others of his kind. He doesn’t need a lot and what he doesn’t need, he doesn’t buy. But he’s also a Lightwood with the lofty traditional family outlook that means he knows and appreciates quality when he sees it-- with his salary as Head of the Institute, Alec can buy his own Gucci loafers and Hermes silk dress shirts and Tom Ford belts that gleam subtly in the light.

Occasionally, Magnus can slip in a gift in the form of a tie or suit jacket that would look lovely on his boyfriend. More often than that, though, Alec is content with his own wardrobe or to pilfer through Magnus’s own. It’s an endearing habit that Magnus loves but it’s another area of gifts he can’t buy.

Alec’s hobbies include reading, watching documentaries on obscure topics, and food. Magnus loves roaming through bookstores when he has a free hour and he can always pick something up for Alec.

It doesn’t feel like enough, though. He’s had past lovers who demanded rare jewels or antiquities he scoured shops and bribed people for. Alec doesn’t demand. He accepts but never expects, a helpless smile and blushing cheeks making Magnus want to give him the world.

His love always looks so surprised at gifts, as though he can’t believe Magnus thinks about him when he’s not around, as though he’s not worth everything Magnus has to give and more.

His reactions are always so enchanting.

They split dining pretty evenly between them-- Magnus picks up the bill for a burger joint Alec’s been wanting to try for ages and Alec surprised him with reservations and the newest French restaurant Magnus had heard rave reviews about just last week.

Still, Magnus felt that he should be doing more. He always wants to do more, to make sure that Alec never doubts him or his love.

He’d dismissed the traditional, trite gifts for ages before he’d decided to just go for it. He’d welcomed Alec home with a box of chocolates one evening. Internally, he’d been bemoaning how low he’d sunk. Magnus Bane didn’t give the love of his life a box of assorted chocolates to show his affections. It was beneath him and Alec deserved more.

Alec had appreciated the gesture and eaten half the box that evening, complaining of a stomach ache for the rest of the night, much to Magnus’s amused exasperation. His reaction wasn’t what Magnus was looking for, though. Alec regularly made him feel like he was trying to contain the sun-- warm, effervescent, joyful. His mere presence did the job but when you added on unexpected gifts or those earnest declarations, Magnus was gone.

So, he’d went back to the drawing board and in a fit of whimsy had decided to surprise Alec with flowers. There was a corner florist that he’d been going to for years whenever he needed arrangements for parties or his loft.

He’d popped in one afternoon just as a girl was purchasing a dozen roses. She’s leaned against the counter as her flowers were wrapped and confided in Magnus. My boyfriend never expects flowers, she’d said. At first he thought they were just for girls but he loves roses and always gets this stupid smile on his face when he sees me come in with them.

She’d left with her own megawatt smile and as Magnus had poked around the store, he started looking at the flowers with Alec in mind.

He dismissed roses immediately. They were cloying and not Alexander’s style. He just as easily discarded lilies, carnations, and daisies.

None of them seemed right. Standing by the cash register, Magnus mulls over the store. He doesn’t even know what he’s looking for. Truthfully, he thinks that he’s probably wasting his time. Alec is a shadowhunter, a soldier. He might not be so rigid and stoic with Magnus but that doesn’t mean he’s changed, that he won’t look at whatever flowers Magnus buys with a skeptical glance and confused stare.

His boy likes practical things, things that have depth. Flowers are the antithesis of practical.

With a sigh, Magnus takes one last look around the store, set to finish this fool’s errand and get his weekly arrangements from the owner, when he stops cold.

He makes a beeline to the far corner where there’s a vase full of sunflowers. Their faces are happy and open and cheerful. They look a bit larger than life, really, and Magnus knows that these are it.

Alec might not like them but damned if Magnus didn’t give it his best try.

He orders a dozen and the owner, Beatrice, wraps them with a bold blue ribbon. Magnus takes the sunflowers, faces turned up, and walks out of the store with a smile.

Entering the loft, he barely has time to step into the living room before the front door is opening.

The dreaded moment of truth.

Alec walks into their apartment and looks up with a tired smile, shrugging out of his jacket and toeing off his shoes. His eyes catch on the bundle in Magnus’s arms.

“What’s that,” he asks, tilting his head in confusion. He’d never peg Magnus as a sunflower sort of guy.

Magnus takes a step forward, closing the space between. “These are for you, darling,” he says with far more confidence than he feels. It’s not a big deal if Alec doesn’t like this gift. It’s trial and error when getting to know someone. Magnus just hopes the sentiment-- that all encompassing love he has for Alec-- is apparent in this gesture.

He holds the flowers out and Alec’s gaze shifts between the bouquet and Magnus’s face. The poor thing looks like it’s all a joke that he’s not in on.

Slowly, Alec reaches out and takes the flowers from Magnus’s grasp. He holds them for a minute, expressionless. Magnus is just about to ask Alec what he's thinking when he starts smiling. It’s soft, a little hesitant, but it’s there. Magnus relaxes at the warm reception. He’s surprised but achingly fond as Alec’s head dips down and he smells the flowers. Much to Magnus’s amusement, he lets out a deep sigh of contentment.

Alec looks up again at Magnus. His cheeks are flushed with warm color. He bites his lips like he’s trying to contain his reaction.

“Do you know sunflowers represent lasting happiness,” he asks softly.

Magnus takes a step forward until he can lay a hand on Alec’s cheek, thumb slowly stroking along. “I didn’t know that,” he says.

He leans forward, kisses Alec. It’s soft and slow and barely there. When he pulls back, it’s to see that Alec’s eyes are still closed, like he’s savoring this moment.

“So, flowers are a hit then?”

Eyes opening at that, Alec looks at Magnus with an expression that’s just the least bit embarrassed. “I love flowers,” he admits.

Magnus can’t stop his brows from raising, incredulous. “Oh? I had no idea.”

Shrugging, Alec just says, “I don’t exactly go around and advertise it. But, there’s always a fresh vase of flowers in my office and I like to visit the botanical gardens a few times a year.”

“You’re always surprising me,” Magnus says, already planning how to use this newfound information.

Alec might not like lavish parties and expensive jewels. But by God if his boyfriend likes flowers, then Magnus has a whole new area to explore.

Once a week, Magnus comes home with a bouquet of flowers. Sometimes sunflowers, other times tulips, regularly a mix. And every single time, Alec blushes and smiles a stupid smile and pulls Magnus in with a searing kiss and murmured thanks.

It’s adorable and endearing and makes Magnus fall in love with Alec anew, every single time.

[blackdragon-sama]

my breast reduction experience

i'm back home from the hospital after my reduction and i'd like to share my experience for those interestedalso to vent a bit about my nice-but-also-hella-annoying bed neighbour.

i went in on thursday morning, to get prepped, see the doc and settle into my room i was given the choice to either stay overnight before the surgery, or come in at 7 on friday morningi chose to stay overnight, since i knew it'd be much easier if i could just stay in bed until they wheeled me in for surgery. rather than having to haul my stuff and myself to the hospital with the bus, high on adrenaline and panicwas the right decision, too early in the morning, a nurse woke me and i went to change into the very sexy piece of fishnet they use as panties and the butt-free gown thingi swear, those mesh panties are the worst.but, i got a dose of lorazepam to make up for it, and was wheeled downstairs and into the wake-up room, from which i was wheeled in for the anaesthesia prep.a very nice lady (i don't know if she was an anaesthesiologist or assistant or nurse....) helped me put on the hair net and put an IV into my hand, chatting a little with me, which helped with the anxiety. at this point i was glad for the lorazepam, because i was nervous as fuck, even with it. they didn't make me count or anything, just told me to breathe in all that nice oxygen, and then they told me when they inected the good stuff and - like with the two general anaesthesias i had before - i went under complaining about the pain XDit's like, the last two seconds before you go under, your face, or in one case, arms, get really bad pins-and-needles, and it's one of the grossest feelings ever, but it's literally just a second or two and then you're out. the first thing i remember after coming to, is people coming to my bed and telling me to take breaths, or to breathe in deeper.i had a little trouble with my oxygen levels for a while, but they put an oxygen tube thingie into my nose, with a piece of sponge around it to keep it in place, i also remember telling someone i was feeling nauseous, and i think they gave me some medication for that. i was in no pain at all, just super woozy and confused why it was already around 3 in the afternoon. surgery must've taken WAY longer than 2-4 hours, since they put me under at 7:30, and i came to enough to ask the time at 3 in the afternoon.back in my room i asked for my phone and sent a few typo-heavy drunk texts to my mom and my girlfriend to let them know i was still alivestill no pain, dizziness, overall "just trying to sleep"-iness. a nurse came in some time later, to help me get up and pee. i didn't think i needed to, but she told me they put five liters of whatever (saline, probably) into me during the surgery and after, and i do know that getting up is important after surgeryso, she hooks me under and butt-naked me (surgical bra and mesh panties only. sexy. comfortable. not basically literally ass-naked) shuffles over to the bathroom, nurse carrying the big drainage bottles.i could feel my ears rushing and hearing static the moment i stood, but i managed to sit down and do the deed. on the way back to the bed, i nearly passed out, but nurse and another nurse got me back safely and i could sleep some moreduring the night, i am woken up a few times, by a male nurse who comes to open my bra and check the bandages and palpate my new tiny tiddies for anything bad.it's a bit disorienting to be subjected to someone messing with your boobs when you're more asleep than anything, but the whole staff was super nice and gentle with me, on saturday, post-op day 1, i managed to somehow pull at my right-side drainage and the bitch gave me trouble for the entirety of its stay in my boob, and it's still the more sensitive side >_>my new boobs looked soooo teeny tiny! to be honest, while i was excited, i was also a little scared that they'd become too small, but that feeling came and went, and looking back, i know it was simply the shock of the /difference/. day one was mostly spent entirely in bed, since my circulation was still pretty bad, and getting up gave me big troublesluckily, the nurses all were very very nice and refilled my water bottle for me and helped me get to the bathroom and back, and iirc, in the afternoon, i managed to put on some real panties and a shirt. MUCH better!also, on saturday, my girlfriend came to visit and it was really nice <3as for pain, i wasn't in any mentionable pain, other than that bitch of a drainage tube. that shit hurt like hell, while my boobs themselves almost didn't hurt at alli was, and still am, quite surprised they weren't painful. (given, i was taking ibuprofen 600 3x a day) sore, of course, and tender, and feeling about ready to pop with how taut they were, but not painful, i didn't and don't feel the incisions or the sutures/stitchesi stopped taking any pain meds yesterday, which was post-op day 5, and i only needed one ibu on tuesday) sleeping on my back is lame. and waking up on sunday, i had a major headache, that even the ibuprofen didn't manage to helpi think it was a mix of my neck being overly tense, plus leftover surgery and anesthesia meds that messed with my head (i read that having migraines puts you at a higher risk of post-op headaches) sunday was the day where i started to get lots better. i could get up on my own for the bathroom, and even the little trip down the hall to the water fountain dispenser thingie, and in the afternoon/early evening, i even managed to take the elevator to the ground floor and grab some well-earned sweets from the little shop there. the headache was the biggest discomfort, other than the drainage tube pulling occasionally, and my petty room mate... boy... by that point she was getting SO annoying. she had had surgery the day before me, a procedure to put an expander under the skin of her face, to grow skin to remove a mark from her face (i don't know what it's called, in german, it's a fire's mark, basically a large, deep red/purple mark that's puffy and you're usually born with it)i think she's russian? she had a heavy accent, and the first pieces of conversations i remember clearly were of her complaining about refugees and how they have so many kids only to cash in on social child support money (which is a thing in germany, but, well, for citizens, not for refugees...) i tried half-heartedly explaining that refugees aren't here for shits and giggles, and no, they don't get child support money from the state. they get, if at all, a bare minimum to feed and clothe themselves.... i didn't want to antagonize her, because in my drugged-up, post-surgery state, i was having paranoia she would try suffocating me in my sleep. (which i was aware of was purely my anxiety talking, but, y'know, i didn't want to pick fights either way, and delicate topics are best discussed if you have the opportunity to leave.)next thing i very clearly remember her doing was antagonizing the nurse that wanted to put a new something into her iv. the thing was, the nurse sneezed. into her shoulder. before moving to continue with the tubes. roomie gives her shit about that. how it's unacceptable that she'd sneeze onto the needle and get her germs all over the place, and how that's unprofessional and why she wasn't getting new needles and all that the nurse calmly explained she wasn't sick, it was just a little sneeze and she didn't get anything onto the stuff. discussions ensue. nurse sents me an "is this really happening?!" look, and i just give a helpless grin-shrug, because, yeah, it was happening. nurse was clearly heavily annoyed, but managed to finish putting the iv thing into her before leaving a little louder than necessary.i can understand voicing your concerns about hygiene and your worries. that's good. not good is picking fights with the people taking care of you. like... i caught myself thinking, every single time lady next to me went to complain or whine about something (which she did... /quite/ a lot) that, if i am in a hospital, dependent on the care of the staff, that the LAST thing i want to do is being a bitch to them?i'll do my damndest to be polite at least, friendly whenever i can, so they know i appreciate the help. being nice to your nurse means your nurse will do their best to care for you, and maybe put in a little more effort than absolutely necessary (like offering to fill my water bottle for me) and if someone has to sit me onto the toilet becauce i can't pee by myself, the least they deserve is me not bitching. seriously, the lady was nice enough, overall, but man... she also was entitled and just that special little snowflake kind of person. complaining about her boyfriend not taking the day off work so he'd be available all day to pick her up whenever she was discharged... i understand the thought behind it, but i also understand you can't just leave work just like that. and she was better off than me, mobility-wise, she could've taken a taxi or even public transport (given, i wouldn't have, either) or just waited for him until he could leave work)aaaaaanyway, on monday, headache was getting better, and my surgeon came in to check up on his work, he finally told me how much he removed, and it was WAY more than i expected or he estimated before,he'd told me, he'd remove about a kilo of tissue per side, which seemed a good weight, (i'd weighted them before, and they were about 2 kilos each, according to my kitchen scale XD )and it ended up being 1,4 kilos per side... that's almost 3 kilos! that's, like, two whole chickens! i was pretty shocked, but also excited, because, for the first time i really understood how HUGE my boobs had been. and how reasonable and right my decision was. i have no regrets and even in between never had any, but i had my doubts about the necessity of this whole thing, a lot of the time, i felt like it was a mood, or a phase, something i wanted out of a whim, rather than that i really needed it. it was my idea, and i wanted it, and as such, as a non-essential surgery, i was scared that i was doing something wrong. that it'd end up turning out bad, simply because of my paranoia-driven fear of karmic punishment for wanting something like that without it being unavoidable (like my gallbladder surgery) but hearing how much he'd removed, and given how much is still left, and how i now have an average pair of breasts for a woman of my stature, it took some guilt off me. also, by monday, i was starting to feel the first effects of the weightloss. i could sit up without using my arms (which was still being a bitch, because it'd pull on the damn drainage), like doing a situp, and it was sooo easy!even right now, i'm still too overall sore/tender to really notice a direct difference, but indirectly, it's already so amazing! i'm sitting up straighter without even noticing, i can breathe freely, which is odd, but i keep noticing how free my chest feels, like i'm expecting it to feel tight or heavy, but it isn't,on monday, the drainage tubes were FINALLY removed and it was glorious!i could stay until tuesday, and it was good i got to stay another day, because walking around was, and is, still somewhat tedious.on wednesday, i had a bit of an emotional crash. i guess it's the physical shock of surgery/injury and the medication wearing off, coupled with the relief of being at home and knowing you can relax now, i was dissociating a little, on and off through the day, feeling weepy and alone and all thatbuuuut that went away, too, and today, post-op day 6, i'm still a little tender and weak, but overall, i'm doing pretty fine!i can wash myself on my own, even my hair, and i am in SO much less pain than i expected. like... i was preparing to be out of commission completely for the entirety of the three weeks vacation i took off of work, but if things continue like this, going back in two and a half weeks will be absolutely possible. i catch myself being a little too enthusiastic sometimes, like trying to reach up to open/close my skylight window and getting a little reminder NOT to stretch up my arms all the way. or having to take a break from walking up the stairs and having to sit a couple minutes in the house's staircase on the way up to my appartment (we don't have an elevator)the most uncomfortable thing right now is the itching. the medical bra rubs against the edge of the steri-strips, where my skin is taut and dry and it's leaving mild imprints and it ITCHES and it's driving me insane, but it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't seem to mess with the stitches, so i'm trying not to complain too hard. all things considered, and with how weak and sore i was, right now, as i'm typing this, i'd do it all over again. i don't want to jinx anything, so i won't jubilate, but overall, i'm pleasantly surprised by how well things have been so far. i like my tiny new boobs, and i hate the itching, i love how much longer my torso looks, and i'm looking forward so much to buying beautiful bras and all the pretty swimwear i couldn't before, because it would never fit my boobs....aah <3next week i'll go in to have my stitches removed (they're not the dissolving kind) and i'm a little worried how the scars will hold, but i'm also eager to start using lotions and all the good stuff to help the skin recover i will recommend this procedure to anyone that's considering it, and i'm so happy that the surgery went well and my new boobs look perfect! (if still a little crinkly around the scars XD )

[jorjaliu38318]

You Can Lease A Motorized Vehicle And Save

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[talabib]

How To Bring In A Little Extra Cash On The Side.

“Take the leap! Quit your day job and be your own boss!” Following this type of entrepreneurial advice comes with a fair share of risk. And let’s face it: not everyone who tries self-employment thrives as their own boss. So what if you have an inner-entrepreneur who wants to venture forth, but you also want to keep the benefits of your current job? There’s a lot to be said for health insurance, regular feedback and steady deadlines.

In this post, you’ll find out precisely what it means to have a business in addition to your day job, as well as learning the dos and don’ts of having a successful side hustle. From finding the perfect idea for your part-time business to optimizing your income from it, you’ll learn how to grow your side hustle in no time.

A side hustle provides a form of job freedom that absolutely anyone can attain.

One day, a British construction manager decided to start writing reviews of fish tanks. The reviews included hyperlinks to Amazon product listings, and he knew he’d get a small commission if readers clicked through and purchased them. But the reviews were posted on an obscure website and, busy with his other day-job work, he half-forgot he’d ever written them. So he was pleasantly surprised when, several weeks later, he received a check for $350. Even now, years down the road, he’s still getting $700 a month for the same reviews. In short, he has the perfect side hustle.

A side hustle can be defined as a profitable business venture that operates as an adjunct to other paid work or employment. No more than the bare minimum amount of time, money and effort should be invested. It shouldn't be a big deal.

You can even think of it as a kind of job security. The days of a "job for life" are over, and a side hustle ensures several incomes from different sources. You simply won’t be held to the whims of a single employer whose loyalty to you can’t be counted on.

Everybody needs a side hustle. It can make transitioning from your day job easier, too, if you decide to quit or are fired. Leaving may seem exhilarating in the abstract, but the reality can be difficult: you’ll lose a reliable income source and health insurance. A side hustle gives you a taste of entrepreneurship, but without all the risks of going it alone.

There’s also no reason to feel daunted when beginning a side hustle. For starters, you don’t need to spend a lot of time doing it. No more than an hour a day maximum. Any more is probably a waste of time. Secondly, there’s no need to have a business degree to get going. Remember, it's your business you’re running, not someone else’s – you're the one setting the entry requirements!

Strong ideas for strong hustles arise from careful questioning and a bit of math.

The adage has it wrong; money can grow on trees. But growing a money-bearing seedling requires planting the right seed under the right conditions.

All it takes is a little thought, however, and you’ll find those fecund and productive ideas that are bound to blossom. To get going, it’s important to recognize that hustle-worthy ideas share three qualities. They need to be feasible, profitable and persuasive.

If you can answer yes to the following three questions, then the idea is feasible. Does your idea motivate you? Will it earn you money? Can it be accomplished in a short period of time?

How do you know if your idea is profitable? Well, try explaining the merits of your proposal to potential customers in two sentences. No luck? Then your potential customers won’t become paying customers any time soon.

An idea is persuasive if your customers can’t say no. Consider Julia. As a caricaturist, she was earning $100 an hour as a side hustle. But when she started sketching with digital drawing technology, she found she could charge $250 an hour. This was possible because few customers had seen the technology before. The novelty gave her a persuasive edge over the competition, and that wow factor was irresistible

So once you’ve got some feasible, profitable and persuasive ideas, you’ve got to do some basic math. You should calculate the projected profit of each hustle with this equation: “anticipated income minus anticipated expenses.”

Put this way, making a profit is easily understood. You should spend less money on your hustle than you bring in. You should also calculate the answer twice. One should be a conservative projection, the other an optimistic one, depending on the predicted strength of possible outcomes.

Transform your side hustle idea into an offer with a price, a pitch and a promise.

You might think it’d be difficult to make a lot of money from giving guitar lessons as a side hustle. After all, there are already plenty of guitar teachers doing the rounds. But Jake earns $6,000 a month doing exactly that. He can make this much because his offer trumps the rest.

Once you’ve got your idea, you can turn it into an offer. Every offer includes three elements: a promise, a pitch and a price.

The promise is a bold statement that tells customers how they’ll immediately profit – that is, how you'll change their life. Jake promised "The most awesome guitar lessons in the universe."

A pitch tells customers all they need to know, with no irrelevant details. Jake's pitch was "The typical goal is to have fun (always first and foremost), as well as learn the instrument, all while maximizing efficiency so we meet your goals."

Your price communicates the cost, and should also include a "call to action." A tag like "phone this number" or "click this button” should do the trick. It needs to be easy and obvious.

The best offers also create a sense of urgency. Your potential customers need to think they want your hustle immediately.

A good way to do this is to ensure you respond to queries from customers quickly and efficiently. A study by the Harvard Business Review found that companies who responded to a customer's request for information within an hour were seven times more likely to get business.

Another technique for communicating urgency is to use the color red. Highlighting words like "now" or "today" works wonders. Finally, if you’re selling online, you’ll find that a countdown on the checkout screen is great for hurrying customers along.

Okay, we’ve covered the things that constitute an offer, so now let’s think about the kind of tools you’ll need to get up and running.

Your side hustle needs resources. Make a shopping list and prioritize what’s required.

One particular Valentine’s Day, Sarah spotted a gap in the market. No one was selling custom-printed candy hearts. So she got down to it herself and within days had multiple orders. When her supplier wasn’t able to keep up with demand, Sarah found her own printing machine to ensure the business kept chugging along.

If you, like Sarah, want to be resourceful and have the right attitude for rapidly growing your hustle, you need to have the basics covered. You need a resource-shopping list which will include the following.

First, a website. This is your online home, and a content-management system such as Wordpress can make setting it up easy.

A social media profile. You needn’t be operating on every single platform – just one or two should be fine. However, do register your side hustle’s name with the most popular platforms, such as Facebook or Twitter, irrespective of your current reach.

A scheduling tool. A side hustle is a time-based commitment and time management is critical. A scheduling tool means you’ll spend less time organizing meetings with colleagues and customers and more time working, as online scheduling applications are designed to display mutually available slots.

A payment system. Be sure to have an invoicing system, PayPal account or shopping cart on your website before you launch.

Once you have these four elements sorted out, you should prioritize providing more value and generating more money. Value is best improved by responding to customers' unspoken needs. For instance, say you’ve been walking a man’s dog while he’s on vacation. Maybe that same man needs regular dog care when he’s back in town? Ask him.

Money can be generated through regularly scheduled price increases. Don’t be afraid of doing this – customers will understand. After all, once your business has proven its reliability, you need to charge a fair price.

Sell your side hustle effectively by understanding its benefits and involving the right people.

Each spring, Girl Scouts can be seen selling boxes of cookies at malls and outside supermarkets all over the United States. Their pitch is simple: “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" They sell them by the truckload – 200 million boxes every year, to be precise. So what can a side hustler learn from the Girl Scouts? Well, they sell so many cookies not just because the cookies are scrumptious but because people know that they are.

When you’re selling a product or service, you’ve really got to emphasize its merits. Lead with the benefits. You might tell customers that your product will make them happier or their lives simpler and better. Ideally, you should connect with people’s emotions.

Consider a dog sitter. She might not explicitly try to assuage an owner’s guilt about leaving his dog at home alone, but she can imply it. A carefully crafted pitch might go “Leave your dog with me and he’ll feel loved and cared for.” Be subtle.

Once you’re able to distill your side hustle’s benefits, you should reach out to four types of people who can help you along the way. There’s no need to do your solo side project alone.

First, find supporters. Most likely this means your family and friends – people who can contribute in different ways and support your efforts. Second, seek out mentors. These are guides or experts who can give you feedback and advice. Third, identify influencers. These are trendsetters who'll spread the news about your product. Trusted authorities, like reviewers or bloggers, are generally best for this. Fourth, locate some ideal customers. These people are perfectly placed to evaluate products and respond to questions you might have with honest and detailed answers.

Identify what’s working best in your side hustle. Then do more of it.

Often, when business owners are asked how their businesses are going, they’ll just respond with a perfunctory, "Oh, it’s fine." That’s not the right answer! A business is never in stasis. It’s either on an upward trajectory – or it’s sinking.

It’s important, in the early stages of your hustle, to know exactly what sort of trajectory your business is on.

Once you’re up and running, ask yourself a simple question: is your venture making money? There are three possible answers.

First, you might find you’re far exceeding initial expectations. Fine, that’s great. You’ve obviously got to keep going. Second, you might think your original idea was good, but people haven’t latched onto it. It’s difficult to admit it, but that’s the time to cut your losses and move on. The most common response in the early stages is the third. You’ve found your idea hasn’t completely gained traction, but as it’s making a bit of money it doesn’t make sense to pull the plug.

If this last option sounds familiar, but you’re still not certain how to finesse the problem areas in your hustle, then have a look at your metrics. Metrics are measured in three areas. Profit – that’s income minus expenses. Growth – ask yourself how many new customers or what new prospects you have. And time – how long do you spend on your hustle each week?

Once you’ve identified areas of concern, you can improve on them by applying two basic rules. In the first case, do more of what’s working. In the second, abandon what’s not. It’s universally tempting to try to solve a problem. But don’t. Really. The most successful people just drop them and concentrate more on those aspects that function best.

Well, that’s it! You have all the tools you need to start your side hustle. From here, the only way is up.

Absolutely anyone can create and launch a successful part-time business. It doesn’t require much time, money or effort to start one, and it doesn’t mean quitting your day job. A side hustle is a great idea. It gives you an extra paycheck, but without the terrifying risks of being a self-employed entrepreneur.

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GAMERS! Episode 08

New day, new episode, let’s push on. It’s GAMERS!, episode 08! Here we GO!

-We begin, at a completely different place than usual. The Hekiyou Private Academy’s Student Council, with the narration a young lady who has always been near the top with ease, but never managed to reach the top…Until she became president of the Student Council. She had her moment of joy, of pride…Until one Tendou Karen showed up. Karen, who somehow managed to outdo her in everything, and even best her in this…

-Opening! What’s up next? Oh hey, it’s the dating sim/visual novel one! It’s not really a specific reference to an individual game, so much as an entire genre. Until recently we didn’t really get these in the West at all, and we still don’t see all that many of them. Operating not unlike a choose-your-own-adventure book, they represent a very interesting blend of elements from various Japanese mediums: Carrying a word count similar to a light novel, voice acting similar to an anime or drama CD, minimalistic animation that calls to mind manga more than actual anime, and light gameplay elements borrowed from JRPGs, they can in some ways be looked at as the combination of all of Japanese nerd-culture. Also they really spent a long time as porn games so there’s still a lot of stigma there.

-DAY 08: Erogamer and Watching Mode

-Well with a title like that, things sure lined up.

-Anyways, it’s to a meeting space, with that student council president herself sending off the rest of the council…And then, once they’re all gone, she can just take in the wonder…ful…joy of…

-Oh.

-Well then.

-So our mysterious president is actually a huge pervert as she starts smelling and rubbing on the seats the rest of her Student Council were using. She’s surrounded by cute girls! It is heaven…But wait, there’s more! She slams open a locker, grabs a bag, and…Whatever’s in there has to be even better than girl butt scent. Did she confiscate some boy’s dirty magazines? Either way, her laughter echoes through the night…

-Oh, nope, even…Let’s call it “better”. She has a disguise! A suit, a puffy hat to hide her long twin tails in, glasses and a beard! Clearly she looks like a perverted older man now and can get away with what’s about to happen! Yes. Clearly. She slips into a shop, as her internal narration explains…That innocent, studious Student Council president schtick? Yeah that’s all to keep the world from noticing the real her, who’s a spun-around pervert who loves nothing more than erotic video games!

-Well I suppose we had to do this eventually, huh? Also, she’s so excited by getting a copy of BUILD HEART that her beard falls off and she doesn’t even notice…Which is a problem when she’s spotted by someone else and this gets weird. But she has no idea. Once she comes down from the 18+ section, it’s into the console mess, because hey, the censored console release isn’t too bad either…But she ends up picking up, instead, Golden Memories.

-And dear sweet Flora on the cover suddenly throws a flashback into this girl’s face. Karen went to a different school, and that’s the only reason she wasn’t the Student Council president. So Konoha here got the role by default. …Real talk I’m trying to figure out a joke about hidden leaves and it’s just not coming together.

-Either way now our pervert girl is all depressed as she puts the game back, and is sad ins—Hello cheap game bin! What’s this? An old PS1 era game, Rainbow Court? An old classic that never got the attention it deserved…

-When we hear a voice? We do! Because Keita and Eiichi have come down to this same shop to pick up some vidjagames! Konoha recognizes the uniform of Otobuki, the school her hated rival Karen went to…And damn, that boy on the left is damn. The one on the right, her eyes just kind of glide over. He’s totally generic, like an everyman dating sim protagonist. Our hero summed up, ladies and gentlemen.

-Of course, from Keita’s perspective, he sees…Some weirdo doing jumping jacks in the game store in an attempt to look Normal. But what’re they here for, anyways? Eiichi wants some dating sim recommendations from someone who knows the genre inside and out. Alas, Keita is all nervous about this, as Konoha can’t help but keep listening…Argh, why does this generic guy have to be so waffly…

-Okay, first thing! What does Eiichi like? Well, he did some basic research, and…This one got lots of recommendations, right? Shit I can’t see the title. That’s actually really, really frustrating to me. But okay. So let’s look at the difference in opinions. To Konoha, that game is well made but super super mainstream, so basic it’d go in a damn starter pack. To Keita, it’s a masterpiece, one that he stayed up late every night for an entire week just to finish it. Eiichi decides to get it, and Konoha decides these two are super basic—

-But wait!

-Keita isn’t actually recommending that one! What’s all this now? And Konoha wishes she could just walk away…You damn jerks have her stuck here unable to quit listening! (Gonna be honest, that’s on you) But you want to know what makes the dating sim genre good, right? Then, there’s only one choice! And he goes to the vintage bin, pulling out…Rainbow Court.

-It never did very well. It hit during a flood of the genre to mainstream awareness, and was just an also-ran. But, something about it…If Keita’s going to make recommendations? Then this is his recommendation on where to start. It’s a bit of an underdog of a game, but he can’t help but wanna root for the underdog and show people what it has going for it…You know?

-This, this is why you couldn’t walk away, Konoha! This moment was calling to you from the future! Keita calls Rainbow Court one of his top three games, as her hat has fallen off and exposed her hair…She’s moved, moved to tears by the earnest honesty at the heart of Keita’s words! …Shit. Shit shit shit shit no we can’t add another one what are you doing his life is screwy enough! We just got him out of the core of the chaos by getting him together with Karen what are you doing?!

-Cut to later that night, Konoha’s lost deep in thought, as she looks to her own copy of Rainbow Court…When in comes a family member! Her sister, who sees she bought a new game…Oh, wow, a dating sim? She had no idea you were into these! K-Konoha borrowed it from a friend! …But it has a price tag…JUST GIVE IT BAC—

-…Oh son of a…

-Guess what Konoha’s family name is.

-Go on.

-Go on guess.

-Yeah so Hoshinomori Konoha, Chiaki’s mysterious imouto, is the new addition to the cast ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME NOW IS THAT WHAT THIS IS

-Commercial break!

-And we’re back! Tasuku is narrating…

-…Keita and Aguri’s marriage?! I assume this is a nightmare he’s having. It happened soon after college. They were all there to celebrate the happy couple. Yet inside, everyone in the group was conflicted. Chiaki, who flitted from one construction job to the next, was stuck there congratulating her longtime nemesis (and eating as much of the free food as possible). Tasuku and karen themselves were stuck with fake smiles, watching their own beloveds leave them forever. It was a wonderful ceremony after their lives all worked out…

-…Oh, they’re playing The Game of Half-Life, presumably a spinoff in which it’s impossible to finish because a steam valve blocks the end of the game. Yeah, topical game humor! Tasuku is still thinking you can fix misunderstandings by just talking them out, and has gathered everyone here to calm things down over a game. Oh you poor stupid idiot.

-So Aguri and Keita have gotten married in the game and it’s already going sideways. Tasuku can at least admit he realized shit was not going right, and that “just talking it out” would ever be easy…And thus, this.

-DAY 08.5: Gamers and Half their Life Game

-Cut back to a few days ago. Chiaki was showing Tasuku and Keita that her mom had won an old-timey board game, The Love Love Game of Half-Life, at one of those supermarket lotteries. And she kind of wanted to play it, but such a game has a bare minimum….And thus, Tasuku decided they’d just gather up the whole crew. Them three, plus Aguri and Karen would make five! And it’s so brilliant that he made that face again. Just so we’re clear. Every single time Tasuku makes that face, things are about to go all wrong.

-Even Chiaki realized this was a bad plan, but with Tasuku suggesting it…His brilliant plan was, simply, to get all five of them into a fucking room at the same time to actually talk shit out and destroy the absurd love pentagon around his life.

-Hard cut to the game where things have not gone that way at all. Because everyone’s so damn careful that they’ve ended up in a maximally awkward seating arrangement. Which is how Keita and Aguri ended up as a team. Tasuku’s plan, has…Gone…All wrong. As Aguri gets pregnant during the honeymoon. Which she blames on Keita, as Karen and Tasuku quietly freak the fuck out. Perhaps, this romantic life board game was not the right idea for solving their problems? (Nooooo, you think?)

-The student part of the game, near the beginning, saw Keita and Aguri landing on relationship spaces, while Chiaki keeps failing to hold down work, stuck doing the kind of job that pays you in cash by the day. And Karen, Karen…Oh, poor sweet Karen.

-She’s turning into a spinster, diving into her career to smother her sorrow and shame over the loss of her love to another woman. Oh this is bad. When Tasuku manages to hit the marriage space! He can enter into a relationship and fast-track to marriage with another player! Spin the wheel, come on, come on…If he can get a one or two, Aguri and Keita’s numbers, he can even nullify their marriage by stealing them away from their partner…Come on, come onnnn…

-Congratulations, Tasuku. You win this Chiaki. …Well, I guess housewife is a stable path. No more directing traffic around a construction site for her!

-And Aguri just gives Tasuku a fucking death glare. What, what do you want from him? The spinner made him do it! And now it’s Chiaki’s turn. Two spaces forward! “Your partner cheats on you. You are forced to pay their love compensation for mental suffering. You and your spouse lose 5,000 yen.”

-…Good god this game is dark. And both Keita and Aguri, fully believing Tasuku is a two-timer, are giving him the death glares. IT WAS THE SPINNER HE SWEARS. (Nobody believes you)

-Meanwhile, Keita rolls to…And I quote…”Your lovey-dovey newlywed life reaches high tide! You bust your bed getting busy! You and your spouse pay 6,000 yen.” That’s a really good price for a bed. And now Aguri is getting legit embarrassed that he can’t be more…discreet, about what the space said. I mean, lass, it’s on the board. But soon their argument starts sounding like an actual married couple as she blames him for going too hard and being too loud about it, and oh god Karen and Tasuku are about to die.

-O-Okay, Aguri’s turn! …She, broke the bed this time. Just, just take her money and leave her alone. Tasuku can’t even feel jealous at this point, he just feels sorry for anyone that has to buy two beds because they keep breaking them.

-Karen! What’s Karen going to get? Will her solo streak finally en—

-“Your love interest won’t even look at you, but you’re popular with your clients. 100,000 extra income.” This game is the worst. Karen can’t even pretend to be happy. This game is wearing her out worse than her actual romantic woes.

-Tasuku? “You cheat on your partner with their sister. There is bloodshed. Miss a turn.” Oh god, Tasuku…With Konoha?! She’s just a kid! What kind of sick freak are you?!

-And that’s when the door slams shut and Tasuku has a legit panic and Chiaki admits that must have been her sister getting home. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A SISTER?! Tasuku legitimately feared for his life for a moment there. Okay, deep breath, deep breath!

-Chiaki’s got a roll! Will she manage to pull her marriage back together?

-No.

-No she will not.

-Would you like to know what it says?

-“You realize that your soulmate was someone else. You learn that you had some fateful connections with them, and you become infatuated. You get distracted at work and lose 3,000 yen.” Well that’s really vague…And then Keita pokes fun at her for getting such a vague, girly woes kinda space, and Tasuku would just like to fucking DIE now please! Could he actually get stabbed by your sister now would that be okay?!

-And the worst part? Only he fucking knows how prophetic that fucking space was! Only he knows the double lives these two lead! Only he can realize how much this sucks! Okay. Okay deep breath. Try to calm down JUST PLAY YOUR TURN KEITA AND LEAVE HIM ALONE

-Keita gets the same space as Chiaki.

-Tasuku screams internally. And then externally. FUCK THIS GAME AND EVERYTHING THAT LED THEM TO THIS TWISTED MOMENT OF IRONIC SPINS AND BROKEN LIVES

-And that’s when Keita admits how much fun he’s having, and how he never gets to spend time around friends like this…And that starts to relax everyone, as Aguri’s turn comes up, and she manages to land “The person you’d been seeing before makes a move on you.” Why, that sounds like it could all work out! Aguri and Tasuku look to each other, all blushy and ha—

-“But your love for your current partner is unwavering! You turn them down without a second thought, and reaffirm your own love! You have yet another child.”

-…Welp.

-I’m just gonna sit here in the corner because life is a lie.

-Aguri would like you to START USING SOME PROTECTION KEITA AND QUIT PUTTING BABIES IN HER THIS MINIVAN CAN ONLY HOLD SO MANY LITTLE BUNDLES OF JOY

-Okay, Karen’s go. Can she turn things look let’s be honest she can’t. “You become an important person. You make money. Earn 100,000 yen.” THE GAME ISN’T EVEN TRYING.

-And then Konoha needs Chiaki’s help with something, which sends her out of the room and gives the others a chance for a break, as Keita admits some curiosity. They look so similar in the face, he almost wonders if they’re twins or DON’T LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT HE’S LOYAL KAREN MA’AM! Salute!

-Oh and then he gets an alert on his phone. The MMO has a new event starting today! And Tasuku just stares at Chiaki’s phone, which has the notification light start blinking. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck what if they start talking about the game and realize they both play?! He’s finally gotten Keita and Karen out of the loop so he can deal with the Chiaki and Aguri problems and this could rip them right back into things! …You go RIGHT the fuck under that couch, phone! She won’t find you until after everyone’s gone!

-While Karen looks at the game and starts asking questions but Keita is wrapped up in the event battle he’ll explain details later! And she decides she’s just happy to watch and see him so focused on something. And Aguri comes and sits by Tasuku, saying how happy she is that things are working out for Keita…And Tasuku, Tasuku can’t take not knowing, as he has to ask what the hell’s been going on! What does she REALLY think of Keita?

-He’s…Like that really high-maintenance little brother. And he’s a little annoying now that he’s got a girlfriend. But she’s just so damn happy to see him finally get his happy ending, she can’t be too mad at him for the annoying parts…

-And Tasuku, finally, relaxes, and holds Aguri’s hand. Which sends her into a flailing blushy panic, as Aguri expected him to not be so forward in front of, you know, Karen…But what does she have to do with it? …What indeed. The two can relax, realizing they were both loyal the whole time…And this all might work out. It’ll all, work, out, and everyone will be happy togeth—

-Keita can’t beat this boss without Mono-san. And Karen would like to know who this Mono-san is. His guild bro! They’re always there to help him out! Karen suddenly feels like she’s under threat of losing her beloved to some online relationship. J-J-Just how many online friends do you have? Well…He uses a handful of names in different places, and really only has serious friendships with a few people as Chiaki comes back….

-And Tasuku realizes OH FUCK IT’S ABOUT T—

-So in this game he goes by Tsucchie and his only real major friend is Mono-san. But over on forums he goes by Yama-san and has a really good friendship going with his favorite indie game dev, Nobe-san. And Chiaki hears the whole thing, as the gears start to turn in her mind, and Tasuku just quietly wishes he could die now please. Heart attack? Brain aneurism? That stabbing sister thing? Just, just kill him. Kill him before it all pops off.

-Keita admits that those are the only two real major online friends…But Mono-san and Nobe-san, he’s known them so long, they’re really special and important to him. They might be a bit surface level at times, but he feels like…Like he could be a little vulnerable to them, you know? They’re true, and precious, friends…

-As Tasuku narrates, how Chiaki has made it to the start line of this race at the worst, possible, moment imaginable. A tragic sight, as all the pieces come together, and she in turn realizes how important the different facets of Keita are to her, when it’s much too late to do anything about it…Oh, god, that look on Chiaki’s face…My heart weeps for you, kid.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Konoha is mulling around the apartment, bored…When she finds a broken Chiaki collapsed behind the couch?!

…Well that’s gonna turn into a mess next time. Our only hope is that Konoha doesn’t develop a crush on the fucking guy too, and we can keep a fairly stable pentagon until things turn sideways. I expect even that hope to be dashed, though, in episode NINE of GAMERS! Wait for it!