#they’re both way too important to me lol

[ghost-bxrd]

If you had to pick, do you like angst or fluff more? :0

Generally I tend to read something that has both. I need an angsty start and fluffy ending lol ✨

But if I had to pick… I mean it definitely depends on how you define angst, but if it’s not too hardcore I’d probably go with angst. Otherwise— fluff.

I’m too soft for the dark stuff. TwT

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.

[peapod20001]

I hate trying to describe like. A characters voice and accent and shit cus I!! Don’t know the words for things!!! 😭 but anyways idk if these are entirely how he sounds but you kinda get the vibes of how Rory sounds with these songs here-

You get the vibes right?? You get what I’m goin for???? 🥺??

[obsesssedblerd]

oh, the idea of satoru attempting to get his hands on you numerous times throughout the day but keeps getting interrupted (bc y’know, he’s a busy sorcerer) and then finally snapping because he’s so pent up that he can’t think about anything other than fucking you makes me giggle. 

smut under the cut. MDNI. also, barely proof-read so sorry for mistakes lol.

----

You squeal with excitement when you hear the door to the apartment unlock. Satoru was home. Finally, he was back after spending two weeks away on business. The moment you see just a glimpse of his white hair, you rush towards him and wrap him in a tight hug, him lowering his Infinity just in time to scoop you off of your feet. You're hit with the scent of his cologne, the feel of his soft hair underneath your fingers, and you sigh in relief. Finally.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he greets with his usual smirk as your legs wrap around his waist. “Miss me?” 

He kisses you before you can respond, so you settle for humming into his mouth. He walks you both over to the living room, gently setting you on the couch before climbing on top of you. Your hands fumble with his jacket, and he helps you out by taking it off. He breaks away from your mouth to start doting messy kisses down your neck and collarbone. “Mmm, fuck. Missed you too,” he says, his voice deep with lust. “Been wanting this for so long, baby.” 

His phone vibrates, and he ignores it, deciding to focus on pulling your shirt up instead. When it continuously vibrates with multiple calls, he sighs irritatedly and pulls it from his pocket to see Yaga’s name on the screen.  

You giggle from underneath him, pulling your shirt back down and sitting up. “I think you should get that.” 

“This isn’t over,” he promises. He gets up and answers the phone, holding it up to his ear. “This better be important. …Huh?! I just got back from a mission, what the hell do you mean the higher-ups want to talk?!” 

— — — — 

“Alright, you all. That’s it for today,” you conclude your lesson with a clap, and the second years begin to gather their things. “Geto will meet you all in the field so you can have a lesson that’s a bit more active. Have fun!” 

They all express their excitement, then make their way outside of the classroom. They pass Satoru on the way out, who had just arrived only a few minutes before the end of your lesson. “Yeah, yeah, what she said. Hey, Okkotsu!” 

“Yes?” Yuta calls back. 

“Remember to—” 

“Work on that cursed energy control. Yeah, I got it,” the boy groans. 

You shake your head with a tiny laugh as Satoru shuts the door to the classroom. “I swear, Yuta is trying his best. He’s— Whoa!” 

Your back suddenly hits the wall, and Satoru is in front of you. His blindfold is raised, and you see the utter hunger pooling in his blue eyes before he’s kissing you, similar to the way he did that morning. You moan into his mouth, and your arms come up to wrap around his neck. “Mmm, fuck. T-Toru, we’re—” 

“Shhhhh,” he hushes against your lips. “Didn’t I tell you that this wasn’t over?” His hand begins to trail further down your body, eager fingers hurriedly unbuttoning your jeans. “Just try to be as quiet as possible, baby. I’ll be quick. Gonna make you feel so good—” 

He’s cut off with a knock at the door. “Gojo, are you in here?” 

Nanami.

“Busy!” He yells, a bit on the harsher side. 

“You’re with [Y/L/N] right now. Her lesson with the second years just ended. You do know that around this time, you’re supposed to be training the first years, right?” 

Satoru looks at the clock at the wall, then winces. It’s true, but still, he desperately needed you, otherwise he thought that he’d explode. “Just tell them I’m—” 

“Can’t. They’re right here with me,” Kento says flatly. “They’ve been waiting for at least half an hour.”

You hear Yuuji’s excited voice next. “Hey, Gojo-sensei! How was your mission?!” 

“Itadori, no need to shout. Seriously, we’re all right here,” Megumi grumbles.

“I’m with Fushiguro on this one,” Nobara comments. 

Satoru groans into your shoulder, and his fist hits the wall. Unable to take his strength, it caves, leaving a nice-sized hole next to the chalkboard. You stifle a laugh. Thank goodness that this wasn’t your classroom and you were only borrowing it.

He inhales sharply, then masks his annoyance and sexual frustration with a smile. “Alright! Be out in a second!” He calls out to them.

He sees you laughing into your hand, and he leans forward to whisper in your ear, “Just wait ‘till later.”

— — — — 

‘Later’ was far later than Satoru had hoped. After training the first years, Yaga talked to him about the next exchange event and how they were behind on planning, and then he had to shadow the second years on a mission that lasted what felt like forever.

You’re back in the apartment, humming as you finish tidying up the living room. You grab the basket of laundry, sit down, and begin folding towels. It was close to eight in the evening. You’re about to grab your phone to check on Satoru when you hear the door opening. 

“Ah, there you are. I was beginning to think that I’d have to come and help out,” you say without looking up. “I mean, yeah, the curse was lower-ranked, but sometimes the second years—” You cut yourself off with a surprised scream as Satoru effortlessly hoists you with one arm, puts you over his shoulder and walks in the direction of your bedroom. Once you’re in there, he lightly tosses you on the bed, then yanks off his blindfold. His eyes are dark with a mixture of the hunger you saw earlier, and frustration.

“No more bullshit,” he says as he climbs over you, gathering your wrists and pinning them above your head. “If someone else interrupts, I might just hollow purple them.” When he kisses you, it’s far more intense than he’s ever kissed you today. His tongue explores your mouth, and you moan from the dizzying, yet pleasurable sensation. It’s not long before you’re both panting. His hands grip your shirt, and the sound of fabric tearing fills your ears. You gasp, your mouth falling open in shock when the scraps of your shirt as well as your bra are tossed aside. 

Satoru is breathing hard above you, nearly drooling as he stares at your upper body, his white hair beautifully framing his face. He dives in and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth. Your back arches off of the bed when you feel his tongue swirl around the sensitive bud, and you whine his name needily. He moans, alternating between using his teeth to leave gentle love bites on your tits and using his tongue on your nipples. It’s messy, greedy, and you don’t ever want it to stop.

Finally, he kisses further down your stomach, pulling down your leggings along with your panties and tossing them to the bedroom floor. He spreads your thighs, then licks a long stripe up your pussy, a loud, shameless groan of relief escaping him when he finally tastes you. “Oh, fuck, I’ve missed you so much, baby,” he sighs, and he smiles devilishly up at you as he readjusts his hold on your thighs. “Think this pussy missed me just as much, if not more. She’s fucking soaked.” 

He only gives you a split second to take a breath to prepare yourself, then he’s devouring you as if he were poisoned and the antidote was inside of your pussy. His tongue swipes expertly across your folds, then it flicks against your clit. You bury your hands into your hair as pleasure zips through your body, the rest of the world fading away until all that’s left is you and Satoru. “Toru- Ohhhhh shit, baby. Fuck-” You gasp desperately when he gently sucks your clit into his mouth. He’s moaning loudly, drunk off of the taste of your pussy and from the feeling of you pulling his hair. 

You grind your hips against his face when you feel a knot beginning to form in your lower stomach, your breath stuttering as it tightens. You knew that this orgasm was going to blow any orgasm you gave yourself during the last two weeks while he was away on business completely out of the water. “Fuck, ‘m gonna cum,” you manage to tell him in between pants. “Oh, god, Toru, right there, right there, right there-” You feel your body begin to clench, ready to release. 

But then, Satoru stops. 

You whine frustratedly as your orgasm fades away before you could reach it, looking down at your boyfriend in between your thighs, who’s smiling deviously. “That was for laughing at me earlier,” he says after licking the rest of your juices off of his lips. “Not so funny now, is it?””

On a normal day, you’d be stubborn and attempt to piss him off, but today was different. Your head rests on the pillow, and your chest rises and falls with every pant, groaning in defeat. “Satoru, please,” you beg, keeping your voice as low as possible so he doesn’t hear the utter desperation. 

Satoru feigns confusion, and you see the pure delight in his eyes. Little shit. “Sorry, baby, what was that?” he asks. 

“Please,” you repeat louder. “Make me cum.” 

He hums as he pulls off his shirt. “I’ll think about it.” He stands up, and you sit up to help him with his pants, eager to taste him and take his cock down your throat. You pull his underwear down, and he stops you when he catches onto what you’re doing. “Another time, baby. Right now, I just really need to fuck you.” He kisses you once, and you moan at the taste of yourself on his lips. “It’s been too long. Lay back.” 

You lie back on the mattress, and he grabs your legs to gently pull you towards the edge of the bed, then places them on his shoulders. He slides his cock in, and the both of you moan in relief. Satoru doesn’t waste any time and starts fucking you fast, which you two needed. Being separated for two weeks on top of the usual stress of missions and teaching was horrible for you both. “Ohhhh, fuck,” Satoru moans loudly, not caring if anyone else heard, his eyes practically rolling into his head from the pleasure. “Shit, baby, you feel so fucking good.” 

He slows the speed of his thrusts, but intensifies them by going harder, the salacious sounds of his hips meeting yours filling the room. Satoru looks down at you, taking in the o-shape of your mouth, your closed eyes and the way you're gripping the bedsheets as you whimper his name. He has to bite the inside of his mouth so he doesn’t cum too quickly. 

“Sat- Satoru,” you moan out deliriously as you open your eyes, gasping when his cock perfectly hits your g-spot. “Fuck, you’re- Ah- so deep.” Tears blur your vision, and your boyfriend chuckles as he leans down closer to you, his thrusts relentless. Satoru kisses your cheek, then uses a thumb to wipe away a tear. 

“Aw,” he coos condescendingly into your ear. “You cryin’?” 

Your nails drag down his back, and he reaches in between where your bodies are connected to rub gentle circles on your clit. You feel that knot begin to form again, far more intense than before since you were edged earlier. “F-Fuck, Toru, I-” You’re cut off when his mouth meets yours for another messy kiss. He continues rubbing your clit, and you whimper behind his lips. He groans when your pussy begins to tighten around his cock. You grip his shoulders to steady yourself as your breathing begins to come out in short bursts. 

“Let go, baby, it’s okay,” Satoru purrs into your ear. “Cum for me. Let me feel you.” 

Your legs tense, your toes curl, and stars fill your vision as your orgasm takes you by force. You’re screaming his name as your body trembles, and Satoru murmurs encouragement into your ear as he fucks you through it. “Thaaaat’s it, pretty girl,” you hear, then he groans, also so close to finishing, his thrusts growing sloppy. “Fuck, baby...”

Though you’re dizzy from your orgasm, you muster enough focus to kiss him. You stroke his face, lovingly run a hand through his hair, then wrap your legs around his waist to bring him in even closer, encouraging him to give everything to you. You wanted him to cum—needed him to. The kiss and the faint pulsing of your pussy pushes him over the edge, and Satoru moans loudly into your mouth as he stills, spilling his thick load deep within you and coating your walls. He cums hard, his grip on you tightening as he breathes heavily. Finally, he collapses, but is careful not to crush you with his weight. 

Both of you are silent for a moment, remaining with each other as you mellow in the aftershocks of your orgasms. “Shit,” Satoru breathes out with a small laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard before. I thought I blacked out for a second.” 

You laugh with him, then press a kiss to his forehead. “Welcome home.” 

“Happy to be back. Missed you like crazy. Can’t believe I had to wait all day for that.” 

“Missed you too, and same here, but you gotta admit, it was funny.” 

Satoru tenderly smiles down at you, and your heart stutters at the sight of it. You were always weak for that specific smile. “It was, but, uh… you wanna know something else that might be funny?” 

“Hm?” 

“We broke the bed.” 

“....What?”

----

a/n: I just had to add "the" line lol. I couldn't resist.

[hyukalyptus]

something nice — sub!fem!reader x dom!yeonjun x servicetop!kai

cw. reader is in an established (open) relationship with yeonjun, cucking? (kai eats reader's pussy while yj watches lol), cunnilingus ofc, nipple play, orgasm denial, edging, pet names (baby, jjun), begging, mention of "punishment" but nothing's ever done, yeonjun and kai talk about reader and what they're gonna do to her (without her understanding—everything is consensual in the beginning, but read note below), let me know if there's anything else. notes. IMPORTANT: ok so the tea with this one. the idea here is that the reader doesn't speak korean well and kai and yj are speaking korean to kinda talk about the reader and what they're gonna do to her so she doesn't understand. nothing aggressive, just describing what to do to her body so she's kinda surprised? SO!! anything in italics is in korean. thats important!! also idk how i feel about this???? smut under cut. wc. 1.5K

“Did she give you a reason or did she just break up with you?” You’re eavesdropping on Yeonjun and Kai—not that they’re being very secretive. They’re talking about a woman Kai’s been seeing while you play video games and attempt to translate in your head, but you're not being too successful, catching a few words here and there. 

“She did say one thing,” Kai says hesitantly. “But it’s kinda embarrassing.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” he starts, scooting closer to Yeonjun to awkwardly whisper something to him, twiddling his thumbs, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh,” Yeonjun chuckles. “That’s…man, if you get really good at that, you could date anyone.”

“What are you talking about?” You finally pause your game, curiosity getting the best of you. Looking up, Kai looks like you caught him stealing cookies from a cookie jar while Yeonjun tries to hold back a chuckle. The three of you exchange looks until Yeonjun rolls his eyes to bluntly say—

“Eating women out.”

“Yeonjun—!” Kai says, shoving his arm.

“What?” He chuckles, returning the shove. “I eat her out all the time. She knows what it is. She knows you eat pussy too.”

“But that’s why that woman broke up with you?” You ask. “Because you…you're bad at eating pussy?” He blushes, averting his attention to the floor while he clasps his hands together, nodding shyly.

“Be honest, babe—am I good at eating you out?”

Looking between the two of them, you sit up and say, “Yeah, you’re probably the best I’ve had, but we’re super compatible, you know? We’re, like, super in love. That makes a big difference sometimes.”

Holding back a cocky smile, he asks, “But, objectively, I’m pretty good, right?” You shrug and nod—really, he probably is the best you’ve ever had, but that’s another story. 

“What makes it good?” Kai asks.

Humming, you think before saying, “First, he doesn’t go straight for it.” Turning red and ears getting warm, you gush and— “Oh god, Kai, don’t look at me when I tell you this.”

“Ah, this is ridiculous,” Yeonjun exasperates. “Do you just wanna practice on her?” You both whip your heads in his direction. “If you’re comfortable with it, of course,” he says to you. “Just thought it might be helpful.” 

Oh, how did you end up here? Laying in Yeonjun's bed, clenching your thighs together out of nervousness. “Remember, this is kinda specific to her. Pay attention to what whoever you’re with wants.” Kai nods, kneeling at the foot of the bed.

“She already said this—” Yeonjun says. “I don’t go straight for it. I kiss her first, then make my way down there.”

“You want him to kiss me?”

He shrugs and says, “If you’re alright with that.”

“If you are,” you say, looking Kai in the eyes. Both of them can’t help but notice the confidence you seem to be exuding, especially compared to Kai. Trembling fingers reaching for your cheek, he looks at you for permission one final time. Finally leaning in, his lips press to yours. 

You’d forgotten what it was like to have a first kiss with someone. Kai’s kisses are different from Yeonjun’s. Kai’s are much more cautious, more careful—not necessarily shy, but careful. It quickly turns hot and heavy. But you remember Yeonjun is watching you, suddenly overtaken with bashfulness, you break the kiss to glance over at him. 

Him and that sinister smile. 

Turning back to Kai, you crash into his lips again, humming into his mouth and smirking to rub how much you're enjoying this in Yeonjun's face.  

“Touch her,” Yeonjun says. “Kinda slowly, but then a little more intense.” Kai does as he’s told, his hand dragging up your hip to squeeze your tits. “Under her shirt.” 

His hand on the outside of your bra feels new and exciting. Reaching around your back to unhook it, you break the kiss to take your shirt off, pulling at the hem of his. 

“Slow down for a second,” Yeonjun chuckles and Kai listens, placing gentle kisses to your collarbone. “Lick her nipples.” Swirling his tongue around your nipple, you gasp, reaching for his hair. “Pay attention to which one she likes better.”

Kai tests both, slyly licking between the two. After testing the waters, he picks correctly. You chuckle thinking about Yeonjun sitting on a chair across the room, smirking in approval. You could look for yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. 

“Keep licking her until her hips roll.” This is a bit crazy, isn’t it? The guy you love telling another man how to fuck you the way you like. “Not yet.” Yeonjun switches to Korean, making you roll your eyes. If you didn’t have the energy to translate in your head earlier, you definitely can’t focus enough to translate now.

Lips trailing down your body, he tugs at your shorts, but keeps your cute pink panties on. Yeonjun talks him through every move—to lick his thumb and rub your nipple, to press his nose to the outside of your panties, to skate his lips across your inner thighs. 

Your hips roll uncontrollably, practically begging him to taste you. 

“Kai—” You whisper, your body instantly burning at the sound of the both of them chuckling. Pulling your panties down and off your legs, he throws them to Yeonjun who happily wads them up to sniff them and smell how delicious you are. 

Licking his thumb again, he keeps rubbing circles over your nipple as he finally licks your clit, your back arching as soon as he touches it. 

“Fuck—” You say breathlessly, looking down at him as his eyes sparkle up at you, your head dropping to your pillow with a thud. “Who the fuck is this bitch that says you’re bad at this?” He shakes his head, digging deeper into your pussy. 

Smiling cockily, you look over at Yeonjun, trying to control his breathing. He can’t help it—the two of you are just too hot together. He's never been able to enjoy this kind of view before. Seeing how every part of your body reacts to being touched—it's an incredible view.

“Please tell me he’s allowed to make me cum, baby,” You beg.

“Of course,” he chuckles smugly. “If he can.” Kai’s eating you out like he’s absolutely starving. And it’s true—he can’t help it. You taste too fucking good. 

Your eyes squeeze shut as you start squeaking, throwing your head back. 

“Okay, that sound means she’s gonna cum soon. Try to bring her as close to the edge as possible and then stop.” 

“Fuck, Kai,” you breathe. “Right there—yes.” You can’t believe how good he is at this, especially given the reason you're under his tongue right now. He’s supposed to be bad at this, right? 

You’re so fucking close and he can feel it. “Don’t stop—” he brings you right there. And then he does it. He stops. “Agh, fuck you,” you groan. Looking down at him, his smirking at you, eyes flashing between you and Yeonjun. 

He doesn’t waste too much time before getting back to your pussy, flicking his tongue over your clit. 

“Take it away from her for a bit. Lick her nipples again.” He does just that. You’re aching, bucking your hips over and over, desperately trying to relieve some kind of tension. But his tongue does feel amazing on your tits. Threading your fingers through his hair, you tug at it hard. He groans, his mouth dropping open like you just unlocked a new kink of his. 

Now he can’t take it anymore. Hips jutting forward, you feel the roughness of his sweatpants drag against your center, relieving some of that tension. You gasp, resorting to begging him to get back to licking you. 

“No, don’t,” Yeonjun says sternly. 

“But I want to,” Kai whines back, looking at your pussy hungrily, sticking the tip of his tongue out, giving his best begging eyes. But Yeonjun just shakes his head, satisfied with watching you uncontrollably rolling your hips up toward Kai’s mouth. Kai compromises, wrapping his hands around the backs of your thighs to yank you closer to him and presses his lips to the skin right around your clit, teasing you even more. 

“Babe—” you breathe, begging Yeonjun with your eyes to let him continue licking you. 

“I know, baby, I know…” he responds, his voice low and rough. He finally lets him lick you again. But he doesn’t show much mercy. He repeats the same tactic over and over—having him bring you right to the edge, even to the point of tears, then he stops right in his tracks.

"I'm gonna tell you to stop, but I want you to keep going, okay?" Kai nods, agreeing to his instructions. Bringing you to the edge again, you're begging for mercy, begging to cum. "Don't let her cum, Kai," he says, making tears form in your eyes. "Stop—"

And he does.

"I told you to let her cum that time."

"Sorry," he smiles up at him, licking his lips. "It's so fun to see her beg like that though." Tilting his head toward you, he says, "Look at her...she's got tears in her eyes. Isn't that the hottest fucking thing you've ever seen?"

"It's okay, baby," he says, fingers flowing through your hair while Kai's mouth finds your clit again. You're moaning, gasping for air, swearing, screaming, anything to try to find a release. "Not yet. Don't let her fucking cum, Kai." You don't think you can handle this much longer. Edging is nice, yes, but this? This is bordering torture.

"Please, please, please, Jjun..." you trail off. "Just please let me cum. I can't take it anymore."

"I know you can take it, baby. Fucking taking it so well..."

It's building again. That knot in your stomach that gets tighter and tighter with every second. That white hot fire in the pit of your stomach waiting to explode.

"Don't stop, Kai," you blurt. "I'm gonna cum—" Slamming your palm over your mouth—you shouldn't have said that. He's gonna make you regret saying that.

"Don't let her cum," he orders.

But his grip gets tighter. His tongue licks furiouser. His face digs deeper. You're so fucking close. Closer than you've ever been tonight.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kai..." your orgasms crashes over you like a bolt of lightning. "Yes, fuck yes, that feels so fucking good." You feel like you're having an out of body experience. It's one of the best fucking orgasms of your life. "Don't stop, right there." You chest heaves with heavy breaths.

Coming down from one of the best orgasms of your life, your vision clears up and all you keep thinking is how much Yeonjun's gonna make you pay for this. You came without his permission—what's he gonna do now? Everything flashes across your mind: not letting you cum for a week, spanking you until your ass had his hand print on it, tying you up for hours, you're not sure.

But he doesn't do any of that. His hand caresses your cheek as he smiles down at you, "Did that feel good, baby?"

Confused, you nod, "Mhmm." You're still nervous, looking around at everyone's reactions. Kai's smirking while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bad at eating pussy my ass," you say, shoving his shoulder with your foot.

"Ah, I knew you a had a little crush on him...I've seen how you look at him." Your face turns beet red. He's noticed that? Oh god... "I just wanted to do something nice for my baby."

[wandussyfantasy]

hiii i have a request 🌚 g!p reader x Wanda pairing. background: reader and pietro are best friends and have been since childhood. reader and wanda never got along but secretly have crushes on each other. wanda is jealous because reader is a player and has hooked up with all of wanda’s friends, and reader just uses those girls to distract from not being able to have wanda because they don’t want to ruin their friendship with pietro. it all comes to a head when reader saves wanda from a handsy at a house party and the tension between them is too much and they confess their feelings and have sex.

i also have more ideas along their universe where they continue to hook up (behind pietro’s back) and wanda thinks it’s not serious (she wants it to be but is afraid of saying anything thinking reader just wants to be casual) but reader thinks they’re exclusive. maybe wanda sees reader talking to an ex and mentions thinking of going out with some guy and reader is all confused and offended like why would you talk to me about planning to cheat on me? and they have a legit convo about being together exclusively

also thinking it would be funny if after all that pietro catches them after having sex when he goes to readers house and bursts in their room and he just pauses absolutely shocked and scandalized, reader thinks they’re about to be murdered , and then pietro is like…you know what? that actually makes so much sense

sorry this is so long, idk if you can tell but the ideas been in my head a while LOL

Busted

Summary: Final part to You Suck, Let's Fuck. Y/n and Wanda start to get sloppy with hiding their relationship from Pietro.

Pairings: Wanda x NB!AMAB!Reader

Word Count: 4,661k

WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT READ & DO NOT INTERACT!!! smut, g!preader, powerbottom!wanda, fingering, dirty talk, fluff, masturbation, oral, sex toys, public touching, fantasies, and teasing.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

“Come on, just one time,” you beg Wanda as you stand behind her in the bathroom. She is brushing her teeth and getting ready for the day. You like to hold her from behind in front of mirrors. As much as you like fucking her from behind in front of the floor length mirror in her bedroom. 

She blushes as she watches you and feels you kiss her neck. “I don’t know. Just, wait a little bit longer. I just got a new prescription. It wouldn’t be safe.” She stops brushing to spit. 

You groan against her neck when she comes back up. She falls against your chest with her eyes closed. She loves being in your strong arms. A door slam has the both of you jumping apart. 

“Wanda! I need-” Pietro starts.

“Damn Wanda! I need to use the restroom! Come on,” you shout from the bathroom  threshold. 

“Wanda, you have to stop hogging the bathroom,” Pietro gripes and Wanda rolls her eyes. 

“Well if this place wasn't overcrowded, maybe we wouldn't continue to have this problem,” Wanda retorts as she starts to pull makeup out. You start dancing like you have to pee. Pietro takes pity on you and takes Wanda out of the room because he needed to ask her about something important. 

“Bitch,” you mutter and stick your tongue out at Wanda. The secret code for affection. 

“Slut,” she hisses and sticks her tongue out. You smile once you close the door and sigh in relief of pulling off the cover up. 

••••

You and Wanda decide to take a day off from school and stay home. Pietro doesn't know and is gone for the day going to class. You are trying to be cute and make something nice for Wanda in the kitchen. She watches you and is so touched by the simple act that she cannot wait to give you a reward. 

While you're mixing the pancake batter, Wanda crawls between you and the kitchen island. She pulls your cock out of your sleep pants and she starts sucking on your cock. “Mmm that feels good,” you hum as you continue to mix the batter. 

The way she licks and sucks on your cock distracts you to the point that you can't think about anything other than her warm lips. You hold her head and start to gently rock your hips, slowly fucking her face. “Fuck, Wanda,” you groan as she strokes the rest of your cock with her warm hand. 

The front door opening causes your eyes to widen. Familiar coughing has your heart racing. “Stop,” you whisper but Wanda is too far gone to hear the hasty whisper. You put your hands on the counter and Wanda takes that as a cue to take the control back. You pray that she at least hears the footsteps getting closer but then she deepthroats you so it's clear that she has no idea. You let out an involuntary moan. 

“Aw no,” Pietro says, then sneezes as he enters the kitchen slightly. “You got the flu too?” He coughs and you nod as you start to sweat. Wanda stalls for a moment. Your dick is throbbing in her mouth. Your heart is pounding anxiously. 

“Yeah, I was trying to make something and ugh, I just started to feel queasy,” you moan again. Trying to mimic the sound you made earlier. 

“Aw damn, I'm sorry,” Pietro coughs again. “I'm going to go lay down.” He points to the rooms. “Hopefully Wanda doesn't get it. We're going to need someone functional to pick up meds and shit.” 

“Yeah, I think she should be home soon. We can have her, ugh, pick stuff up,” you suggest as Wanda starts to suck on your cock again. You are fighting everything in you to not react the way you want to. It's enough to pull off the sick act. 

“Smart, I'll text her,” he says then sneezes. “I'll talk to you later.” He walks off to his room and the fact that he almost caught you with his sister but didn't is enough to have you blowing a load into Wanda's mouth. 

You pull your cock out of her mouth and quickly shove it back into your pants. “That was crazy! I can't believe you,” you whisper shout at her as you look at her on the floor. Wanda holds her finger over her mouth to signal for you to be quiet. Her phone buzzes and she pulls it out to read the message from her brother. 

“We probably should stock up on stuff, you know how bad it gets when someone gets sick in this house. I'll be back,” she kisses you on the cheek. “Finish making the pancakes, I expect them to be stacked in my room by the time I get back.” She grabs her purse and car keys and walks out of the house. You almost can't believe you just came inside of her mouth. 

••••

“Why do you both disappear when we go to these things?” Pietro asks as the three of you sit in an Uber to another house party on campus. “It's like you both agree to go home at the same time or something. I used to be able to actually hangout with you two. What's going on?” 

You hold your breath as you panic. There wasn't a reasonable answer. There was also no way were you going to tell him that you were fucking his sister. 

Wanda looks at you with slightly wide eyes, not sure what to say herself. “Well, sometimes I walk out feeling confident in one of those skimpy outfits but um when I'm there I feel a little weird and leave to change but then I get tired and just go to bed,” Wanda says. “That's why I'm not wearing one of those tonight.” Pietro nods and apologizes to Wanda. He half hugs his sister. 

“Um for me, you know about Wanda’s friends and their little boycott against me. I keep striking out and get bored. I have stuff to ehem, occupy my time at home better than getting rejected.” You say next. 

Pietro frowns, “Oh, I'm sorry Y/n. I didn't realize you were having a hard time picking up. I mean, you have game. I've witnessed you flirt. It's a masterclass. I mean I've spent hours trying to talk with a girl and I've seen you flip that same girl within minutes of approaching her. I swear I've seen the panties drop when they-” 

“OKAY! WE GET IT,” Wanda bursts out. You swear you could see the smoke coming out of her ears. 

“Okay, I won't talk Y/n up now. But Y/n, you've gotta stick with me tonight. I'll help you get some tail tonight.” He pats your shoulder and you smile and say that you appreciate it even though you don't need his help. But what's the alternative? You can't tell him that you're fucking his sister. 

Pietro drags you all over the sorority house, introducing you to the pretty girls. You try to fake the game that Pietro has witnessed time and time again but your heart isn't in it. There is only one person you want to go home with tonight but you can't tell your best friend that. 

You bomb every interaction as you feel Wanda's stare. You want to run to her and kiss her. But you can't escape the arm Pietro has around your shoulders. You can just find her with your eyes. It kills you when you eventually find her flirting with other guys. 

You can't take it anymore. You have to say something. You have to tell Pietro the truth. “Pietro, I have to tell you something,” you start. You've had quite a few drinks so you're louder than you intend to be. “I've been meaning to tell you this for some time now but-” 

“Woah are you feeling well Y/n?” Wanda says as she interjects. “You don't look too good. Maybe I should help you get home.” 

“O-okay,” you stumble on your words as you nod. When Wanda has pulled you outside of the house you frown. “I thought you wanted him to know.” 

“Not like this,” she says as she subtly rubs your back. “Not drunk at a loud party after he tried to hook you up all night,” she shakes her head. “It's not the time,” she looks around before sneaking a kiss on your cheek. 

“Okay,” you agree. When the Uber arrives, the two of you snuggle in the backseat. 

“Geez, you really did need to come home! How much did you drink?” Wanda asks as she helps you into the house. 

“I don't know,” you slur, “your brother kept handing me drinks to loosen me up. Says I need it for the ladies. At this point, nothin’ is happenin’ for the ladies. My dick is dead,” you point to your crotch and laugh. Wanda shakes her head as she helps you into your bed. When you're settled she tries to leave but you grab her wrist and pull her on top of you. “Don't go yet, I want to fall asleep holdin’ you. I like holdin’ you,” you admit. 

Wanda sigh, “I will fall asleep in your arms, honey. As much as I would love to, that's not how Pietro should find us.” 

You pout but you let her go and fall asleep. 

••••

You and Wanda are away on another weekend getaway. The two of you are cuddling on the bed watching a movie and things start to get steamy on the film. You start to think about the things you would like to do to Wanda and your dick starts to come alive. 

“I have a surprise,” Wanda says as she lightly massages the bulge in your sweatpants. 

“You threw out all of the condoms?” You ask excitedly. 

“No,” she rolls her eyes. “Stop asking, I’m not going to say yes. I told you, when I’m ready, I’ll let you know.” 

“Fine, okay,” you laugh, “I’m sorry, it was a bad joke. What’s the surprise?” 

She loosens up and smiles as she kisses you on the lips. She walks to her luggage and unzips it. She diggs inside and pulls out her harness. You’re confused because that’s nothing new. But then she pulls out a dildo much larger than the one she used to use. Your eyes widen. It wasn’t bigger than you but it’s not what a size you’ve had inside of you before. “Tada!” She says as she waves it around. 

“Wow,” you say as you look at the realistic dildo. 

“It vibrates too,” she smiles proudly. 

“My dick doesn’t do that,” you joke. It was girthy and long. You were intimidated to have it inside of you but you thought about how often Wanda’s body has had you endure your penetration. It kind of turns you on more knowing that her body accepts your cock. 

“You're always poking fun at the size of my dildos so I thought I'd get one that would shut you up,” Wanda explains while she removes her dress and pulls on her harness. She winks at you when you look at her with your jaw dropped. She climbs on the bed and takes the dildo to your open mouth. “Get it nice and wet for me,” she hums as pushes and pulls it in and out of your mouth. 

You comply and start to lick the silicone penis. Your cock is creating a tent in your pants as you get turned on by Wanda’s display of dominance. She bites her lips as she watches you get into sucking the dick. She wonders what it would feel like if she had a real penis like you do. How warm your mouth is. The sensations your tongue would bring as it moved around her taut skin. Would it feel the same as when you eat her out? Would it feel better than that? 

“Are you ready for me?” Wanda asks. You pull your mouth off of the toy and nod as you make eye contact. 

“I'm ready,” you whisper. You pull your pants off with a sigh of relief and toss them in the corner. 

Wanda adjusts the dildo onto her strap and tests the remote out to make sure everything is working. When she's confident with the product, she shuts it off and gets ready to fuck you. 

She rubs the tip between your pussy lips the way that you've done to her many times. She gets it now why you tease her that way. It's a power move. You have the control of the pleasure that she's usually begging for. 

Her eyes move to your face and she can see that you're close to begging her. She is going through so many emotions that she doesn't want to think about it anymore. She pushes the head in and is quickly met with resistance. Your hole wasn't ready for the intrusion. She pulls away ready to apologize but you stop her. 

“It's okay Wanda,” you say calmly. You grab the base of the dildo and pull her closer with it. “You just have to take it slow. Come here,” she does as you say and she leans in and reciprocates your kiss when you meet her lips with yours. She closes her eyes and relaxes. What she doesn't realize is that you are slowly stretching your pussy around her strap. Easing her into your body. She doesn't notice until she is practically falling on top of you with your dick pressing against her belly. 

“I'm in?” She asks in a shy voice and you giggle.

“Yes, Wanda,” you kiss the top of her nose. “You're inside of me.” 

“How does it feel? Am I hurting you at all?” 

You chuckle because she sounds like a virgin which neither of you are. “You're cute,” you kiss her lips. “I'm fine. Now fuck me, Wanda.” 

She kisses you one more time before she starts thrusting her hips into yours. Then she pulls as much of the dildo out without completely pulling out and slams her hips back down. Then she turns on the vibration feature and you start moaning loudly as you start to jerk off. 

In your lustful haze you start to imagine Wanda filling you with cum and it sends an orgasm through your pussy making your legs shake. Wanda is unaware of your orgasm as your dick is still hard. She continues to pound into your sensitive pussy, overstimulating you. 

You had no idea that Wanda had it in her to be so good with a strap-on especially since she claims that she never used one before the two of you started fucking but she is a natural. You move your hips to your body connected to hers every time she starts to pull away. You love this girl. You can't believe how lucky you are. 

The two of you fuck well into the night, missing the dinner reservations. It had been a while since the two of you were allotted such alone time without interruption. 

••••

“Okay, I'm ready,” Wanda tells you while the two of you are hanging out in her room. It had been weeks since the last time you asked to have sex without a condom so it took you a minute to understand what she was saying. 

You are sitting on her desk chair removing a bug on her laptop. She initially asked Pietro but she asked when she knew he had a day full of classes and neither of you did. He quickly turned the request over to you before he left. You asked her why she didn't just wait to ask you until he was gone and she explained that she didn't know how long the process would be and she didn't want to have to explain why she asked you over her tech savvy brother. Plus, she wanted to hangout with her girlfriend. It sucks having to pretend to live separate lives now that the two of you have made it official with each other. 

“Sorry, ready for what?” You ask as you continue to scowl at the computer. None of the programs you were running were finding a bug in the computer. But it didn't make any sense to you because the computer wasn't working the way it should. There is a problem with it. 

“To have sex without a condom,” she says shyly. 

“Are you serious?” you turn your head in her direction. She is sitting on her bed wearing a flowy black dress. She has black eyeliner on and you remember her emo phase back in high school. It was torture everyday to make fun of her when all you wanted to do was kiss her, hold her, love her. She spreads her legs open as an invitation as she bites her red lips. “Now?” You ask with wide eyes. 

“Happy birthday,” she lifts her dress up slightly to tease you with the sight of her upper thigh. 

You frown as you think about the date and realize it is your birthday. “How did you remember and I didn't even realize?” You grin at her. 

Wanda shrugs, “You've been busy. Must've slipped your mind.” 

“But it didn't slip yours,” you smile, touched by the simple act of remembering. “You like me,” you say as you slowly crawl on top of her. She blushes as she kisses you.

“Shut up and let me give you your present already,” she giggles between kisses. You drag your fingers up her thighs into her dress and you feel the lack of fabric. 

“Mmm, no underwear again,” you hum. “Again, are you sure about this? Do you have any ground rules?” You ask as your fingers rub against her soft skin. Wanda bites her lips again as her breathing quickens. She shakes her head.

“No rules, no tricks,” she whispers. “Just you and me,” she pulls your shirt off and tosses it behind her. She grabs one of your hands and pulls it from under the dress and puts it on top of it. “No barriers,” you nod at her request and kiss her deeply before you break the kiss and pull her dress off of her. You drop it to the floor beside the two of you. She pulls your basketball shorts and your underwear down until they fall on their own and you step out of them. 

The two of you are completely naked in front of each other in her bedroom. Your focus is on her entirely. As hers is on you. She crawls onto the bed more to get comfortable and you follow her closely. She giggles out of enjoyment. She almost can't believe that she is doing this. She has never had sex without a condom. She's never felt someone's cum inside of her and she is giddy about feeling your cum inside of her. 

You mirror her smile, her giddiness is contagious. When the two of you start kissing again, the giddy energy calms down a bit as the desire for each other grows. “I love you,” she whispers against your lips. 

“I love you,” you return the sentiment as you lean away to admire her beauty. You want to take your time. This is a big moment for the two of you. 

You kiss your way down her body, giving her breasts an appropriate amount of attention. Then you kiss her soft stomach. She twitches when your nose unintentionally tickles her. “Sorry, that wasn't on purpose,” you say, knowing how much she hates being tickled. She sighs with content and combs her fingers through your hair. 

“It's okay, I know it wasn't intentional,” she says softly as she looks down at you. 

You kiss the spot that your nose grazed, “Okay, good.” You continue down her body and when you're focused on her pussy, you put your arms under her thighs so her legs are over your shoulders. You devour her pussy juices. You lick, suck, and finger fuck her pussy. She falls apart, completely at your mercy. Her body shakes with her first orgasm of the day, her moans are muffled to you because her thighs are squeezing your head completely covering your ears.

When you're done with enjoying the way she squirms on your tongue, you crawl back up her body and rub your bare cock against her warm and wet pussy lips. She shivers under your body. “I want you to ride me,” you say against her lips as you kiss her. She nods as she pushes on your shoulders so that the two of you can switch positions. But you're enjoying the way her tongue collides with yours as the two of you kiss. She takes the time that making out with you gives her to collect herself. Then when she's ready, she really pulls away. 

You get in a comfortable position with her pillows supporting your back. Wanda straddles your lap as she had the first night two of you started this whole thing. You admire the way she looks from this angle. Completely naked and all yours. 

She starts by jerking you off first. You moan as she does, exciting yourself more and more as you think about being inside of her without a condom on. Then you have to think of something to calm down before you end up cumming on your own stomach. 

Wanda hovers her pussy over the tip of your penis and rubs it through her pussy lips until she feels it against her entrance. She lowers herself and you have to think of a million nasty things in order to keep from busting too early. Her warm walls engulf your hard cock as it has many times over the course of the past several months. This time feeling them without the barrier of the condom has you moaning a lot more than before. 

Wanda moans as well from feeling you completely. She feels every inch of you in a new way and she intentionally squeezes your cock every few minutes. “Fuck you're so big,” she says as she continues to lower herself on you. 

“Mph you're so tight,” you say with your eyes screwed shut as you try so hard to hold it together but you have to accept that this isn't a time that you can take a long time to make love to her. You only have yourself to blame for building this moment up in your head for so long only to have the reality be so much better. “Fuck, I'm sorry, it's just too good,” you say as you relax and open your eyes.

Wanda giggles and smiles down at you, “It's okay,” she says as she starts to lightly bounce her body on your cock. “I want you to cum,” she admits, taking your hands and placing them on her hips. “Go ahead, do whatever you want to me.” 

“Aw fuck, Wanda,” you groan as you hold her hips to help her ride your throbbing cock. 

That's what Pietro hears when he enters the house. He's confused at first then he rolls his eyes and figures that the two of you are fighting yet again. He sighs as he walks to her room. He sets his things in his room first then he walks over to Wanda’s room. He had time in between classes that he normally spent on campus but today was your birthday and he almost forgot. So he came back home to offer to take you to lunch. 

“Wanda, please don't kill Y/n today, it's OH MY GOD!” He opens the door the moment that you are cumming inside of his sister for the first time. “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?” 

“PIETRO!” Wanda shouts and in your haze you're confused why she'd shout her brother's name instead of yours and then your heart stops and your blood runs cold as you sit up and peek out from behind Wanda’s body. 

“Oh shit!” You say with wide eyes. Wanda has her arms over her breasts as she pulls off of you. She quickly gets under her blanket to cover her body.

Pietro walks out of the room for a second and you scramble out of the bed to grab your shorts. You're pulling on your shirt when he comes back in. “What are you doing to my sister?” He asks in a tone that's on the edge of freaking out. He has always told you that you're his best friend but his sister comes first. “Are you just fuc- are you disrespecting my sister?” He corrects himself. 

“No, God, no! I'm in love with her,” you admit. “This, we have… I've been wanting to tell you I just didn't know how. This isn't how it was supposed to happen! Believe me,” you try to explain. Fearing that he might actually kill you for this. You were never supposed to cross this line. You were never supposed to want Wanda. You were never supposed to act on those thoughts. Not with her. 

He's still not sure how he's meant to react. Pietro is supposed to protect Wanda, always. That's what their dad always taught him to do. When she came home crying because a boy pulled on her hair, he would be sitting in lunch detention for a week for defending her. When her boyfriend cheated on her, he made sure that guy never came back around to try and ask her to take him back. Only to apologize and never return. Now it was you. He doesn't know what to do. 

“Pietro it's true, we've been seeing each other for months. We're in love,” Wanda defends as she holds her bedding to her chest. “Please don't be mad at Y/n! She cherishes your friendship so much! But neither of us could deny our feelings any longer.” She admits and Pietro physically relaxes. 

“You know what? This actually makes a lot of sense.” He says as he starts hysterically laughing. “Oh my goodness how could I not see it? Wow! You two are good,” he shakes his head as he starts to walk away. “Happy birthday, Y/n!” 

When he's out of the room your entire body is filled with relief and you look at Wanda and see that she is relieved as well. “That went a lot better than expected,” you finally say and Wanda starts laughing as she agrees. You laugh as you fall onto the bed, your head landing on her lap. 

She smiles down at you and you up at her. “How do you feel? Now that it's real?” She asks as she lightly caresses your face. 

“It's always been real for me,” you tell her honestly. “I'm just happy we don't have to hide any more.” 

“Me too,” she leans down and kisses your lips upside down. 

••••

“I do,” Wanda says to the Elvis impersonator. 

You, Wanda, Pietro, and a group of your collective friends were in Las Vegas celebrating everyone’s college graduations and their bright futures. Throughout the vacation you couldn't help but be overwhelmed with how much you love and want to spend your life with Wanda so you asked her to marry you. She said yes and the two of you agreed to elope here in Vegas. 

Everyone is different levels of drunk or high but they're all happy for you two. Natasha and Carol are holding each other in tears as they say how happy they are for you. Pietro is smiling as he sits next to his girlfriend with his arm around her shoulders. He asks her if they should be up next and she laughs with a hard no. 

“I pronounce you married!” The Elvis impersonator says and everyone cheers as you and Wanda kiss as a married couple for the first time. 

The End.

[igotlovestruck]

right where you left lover girl [ charles leclerc , ben chilwell ]

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — charles leclerc x singer!ex!reader ; ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — mostly angst, some romance . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

cleclercsource

26,929 likes

cleclercsource double date in wimbledon 🎾 charles, alex, kika and pierre spotted in today’s game!

view all 2,719 comments

user alex looks so pretty and i know she’s nice because i met her once, but i miss y/n ☹️

user :(( i do too, but it’s just not meant to be. they both want different things and are in different places in the relationship

user damn why did THAT hurt

user no offense/hate towards alex but the fact that y/n and charles have been together since they were thirteen just...pains me and i’m not even part of their relationship

user me too!! 😭 they literally went through ups and downs together and saw their careers go big :(

user yeah but i hate to break it to you guys but it’s been two years since they broke up and charles being in a new relationship is okay, they’re both adults! i mean, you guys know that eventually they’ll meet somebody, no?

user what pains me the most is that y/n hasn’t released anything since she and charles broke hp 😣💔 i miss my girl

user they look like mean girls

user i would be scared to walk past them

user love how alex is just happy to be there hahaha she’s so cute

yourusername

liked by yourlabel, sabrinacarpenter, selenagomez and 3,286,048 others

yourusername oh hi hello 👋🏻 i know it’s been a while since i’ve last released music and contributed to the industry, and i see everyone’s tweets saying how much they miss me and guess what? i missed you guys too, so here’s a little something for being so patient with me🤎 this song is very personal and important to me and i hope you’ll love it just how i loved writing it. right where you left me is now available to all streaming platforms 🎶

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sabrinacarpenter 🫶 masterpiece

selenagomez proud of you✨😍

user omg y/n!!!

user the queen is back :( welcome back y/n!!

user streaming right NOW

user you cant do this to me y/n y/l/n!!!!!!!

user just got out of a 4-year relationship today, thanks for the masterpiece maam <3

yourusername 🤎 wish you all the best with healing

user OMG

user thanks y/n, now i do have a reason to cry today 😍

yourusername stopp bahahaha enjoyyy

prodbymika

250,297 likes

prodbymika glad to have produced another song and film a music video with my bestie 🫶 here’s some behind the scenes of y/n during recording and filming the music video of right where you left me <3

view all 17,926 comments

yourusername mika my love!!! ☹️🤎 thank youu couldn’t have done it without youuuu 🫶

user wait that place on the 3rd photo is familiar

user it’s charles and y/n’s place from their 24 hour with vogue video 😭

user omfg that’s probably why it’s titled right where you left me 😭

user the 😭 restaurant 😭 she 😭 and 😭 charles 😭 loved 😭

user fuck me im trying to move on 😭

user y/n wearing the same clothes she would wear during date nights with charles 💔☹️

yourprivate

yourprivate i know eventually it will lead to one of us meeting someone new. i hope she’ll love you the way that i did, more than how i loved you, charles. and i can’t believe that it’s been two years since we broke up. in my mind i’m still 23, living in my own delusion that one day you’ll come back to me. i loved you, charles_leclerc. and i still do. i really meant it when i said i wish you both the best. now, it’s time for me to move on and leave the place where you left me.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername

1,926,472 likes

yourusername me doing big girl things 😄 bye bye monaco 🇲🇨, hello london 🇬🇧 ready to make new memories, new songs and of course, new apartment tour video soon :p

view all 1,827 comments

user omggggggg the chances of me running to you are HIGHHHHH

yourusername see you aroundddd <3

user AAAAAAA

user omg omg omg she’s finally out of her delusions, we’re officially over right were you left me era !!!!!!

user she finally let go of the house she and charles shared 😭

user no bc imagine the adjustment!! she lived there even when she and charles broke up :(

user my girl can finally FINALLY breathe

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, reecejames, judebellingham and others

benchilwell you’re my, my, my, my lover 🩷

view all 23,816 comments

jackgrealish mate, that’s so cheesy 😂

reecejames i know something you don’t 🤧

masonmount i know something you will never know 😂

user NAHHHH QUIT PLAYING WITH US

user NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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user STOP IM GONNA FUCKING CRY RN

yourusername

liked by cmpulisic, reecejames, masonmount, benchilwell and others

yourusername guys meet my london boy 🩷

view all 28,493 comments

benchilwell i told you not to post that picture of me

yourusername 😵‍💫 but you looked so cute and you helped me compose a song

masonmount he did? 😨

yourusername took us a while, but yep 🫡

user im so happy for you y/n!!!!

— ❤️ by yourusername

user why is y/n, a person who loves chinese food, dating a man who hasn’t eaten chinese food

yourusername don’t worry, i bought chinese the other day. he’s no longer chinese food virgin. i took his virginity.

benchilwell y/n y/l/n.

yourusername 😚 you liked it though

benchilwell okay fine yeah

user why do i feel like a new album will come out ...

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, benchilwell, prodbymika and 4,836,917 others

yourusername suprise (well... not so surprise haha) !! been working on this album the past year and it’s finally here and i can’t wait to share it with you guys so HERE YA GO 🩷😚 the whole album is dedicated to, of course, my lover, my benji, benchilwell i love youuuu and this album is my love letter to you (you spoiled the lyrics on your previous post 🙄 but its ok i forgive u now pls come back faster bc i miss u) enjoy everyone ! lover girl, y/n 🩷✨

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benchilwell i love you angel 🩷

yourusername stopp im shy i miss you

benchilwell 😂 im coming over

user y/n in her lover era 🥹 happy for her, she deserves this!

user she really does 🥹

user STOPPP THIS WJOLE ALBUM IS JUST Y/N AND BEN BEING IN LOVENWITH EACH OTHER

user “all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” BENJAMIN JAMES CHILWELL YOU ONE LUCKY MF

user y/n is SO in love i’m here for it

charles_leclerc congratulations on another amazing album, y/n!

yourusername thank you charles! 🫶

user HEY WHAT IS MR. RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME DOING HERE

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

yourusername we���re still friends guys, chill 😂

sabrinacarpenter YOU ARE AMAZING, Y/N

yourusername SAAAABBBB i love you ,, you are amazing

user from right where you left me to paper rings 🥺 THE GLOW UP

[cazshmere]

Some of my favorite synastry aspects and house overlays that I’ve experienced <3

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🎀✨

🎀 mercury trine mercury synastry - OMG mercury synastry is SO SO important when it comes to both friendships and relationships. I have a sag mercury and whenever I talk to other fire sign mercury’s, I feel SO heard and seen fr😭, they genuinely match my freak (mentally). Not a single dull moment with these people 🤣🫶🏻

🎀 mars in the 1st house synastry (esp when I’m the house person) - okay now HEAR ME OUT😭🙏, yes the mars person can be super ANNOYING but for some reason I enjoyed them annoying me 💀💀💀 does that make sense? It was them irritating me and me pretending to be annoyed but secretly turning away and smiling/blushing cause I lowkey enjoyed it😭👀. Playful bullying core fr

🎀 sun opposite sun synastry - okay this is not everyone’s cup of tea cause it probably depends on the sign but as a sag sun I LOVE gemini sun’s (mostly the women, the men are uh…💀) anyway my best friends are all gemini’s and I absolutely love and adore them🫶🏻🫶🏻😌

🎀 mercury in the 1st house synastry - okay this synastry felt so awkward and comfortable at the same time😭😭. It took ages for me to talk to this person but when we did speak it was sooooooo easy. Also somehow we always accidentally bump into each other or touch each other 💀

🎀 mercury in the 6th house synastry - there’s something very comforting in knowing that this person will be consistent in your life. Talking to them daily will definitely become a habit and they’re literally a part of your routine and you can feel like your day isn’t complete without talking to them😭🩵

🎀 mercury in the 8th house synastry - oh my this synastry was really really good, the house person understood me inside and out and that was scary and comforting at the same time. I had this with my ex and he knew me a bit TOO well which got concerning honestly 💀💀. But either way I could happily express my point of view and never feel stupid or dumb to share stuff with him and he always understood and reciprocated my energy.

🎀 mars opposite moon synastry - goddamn😭 this synastry is spicy for sure🥵👀. Lot of banter and arguments for “fun�� (I blame my aries moon for enjoying this synastry lol). I had this with one of my classmates and he would try to tease and annoy me for no reason, we always butted heads💀. Also there’s a lot of jealousy involved in this synastry but hey it was exciting so🤭😋

🎀 venus trine mars synastry - come on everyone knows how attractive this synastry is! trines are obviously not as intense but the attraction is OBVIOUS, you can’t NOT notice each other! Lots of eye contact too😋. They might not be your usual type but you still find them attractive nonetheless 🤭👀

should I post my least favourite synastry aspects and overlays next?😋 lmk

pic and banner credits : @/heavenurl

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[remxedmoon]

“the merciless cobra. its caustic venom can traverse any distance… as long as it stays out of danger.

…please, pay no mind to those ghastly stains. it must’ve been splashed with paint while my back was turned.”

reptile

1 power - 1 health - 3 blood

2 power - 3 health - 2 blood

sniper - you may choose which opposing space a card bearing this sigil strikes.

touch of death - when a card bearing this sigil damages another creature, that creature perishes.

hidden trait - gemmified

when a sigil is transferred to this card, it becomes gemmified. gemmified cards gain +1 power, +2 health, and -1 cost.

COBRADILE!! this was probably the most fun card to make out of all of them. also probably the prettiest card imo!!! writeup below!!

sniper and touch of death! pretty deadly combo. literally. you can just kill any card you please from any spot on the board. i was DEAD SET on giving her the sniper sigil. it just felt right.

GEMMIFICATION YIPEEE! this is a mechanic from act 3! but mox cards appear in act 2 as well. in base game inscryption, you need to have specific gem vessels on the field in order to activate the buffs (ruby for power, emerald for health, and sapphire for cost) but! mox cards and gem vessels aren’t really. in kaycee’s mod. and it would be super clunky to add them for a single card! so all you have to do is sacrifice a card’s sigils onto her. is this a little broken? maybe. but this is inscryption, literally everything is broken lol

^expanding on this, it still kinda fits lorewise? ka buans do compress their ashes into diamonds after all. let’s say that they compressed the creature into a diamond or something and that’s what’s powering her, idk

ok i’ll stop talking about the mox thing after this. both sif and odile were given mechanics from the other scrybes! siffrin requires bone tokens (grimmora) and odile has mox (magnificus). no sorry there’s nothing for p03. they don’t have computers in the isat world i think. i’m pretty sure.

initially i wanted to make her a stork or an ibis, but. all avian cards have the airborne sigil. which makes their attacks hit the opponent directly instead of their creatures. and that defeats the entire purpose of sniper. so she gets to be a spitting cobra! i think it’s more fun this way anyways. more fun shapes.

also this kinda spoils bonnie’s card a little but!! i put thought into the tribes too!!! the vaugardians (mirabelle, isabeau, and bonnie) are all from the hooved tribe! odile is a reptile and sif is tribeless because they’re outsiders. teehee.

ok patch time. she gets double strike, which makes her attack twice (as the name implies). i chose this in reference to memory of first strike (it just reminds me of it? idk) and also because it synergizes with sniper! you get to oneshot TWO cards in one turn! good god! odile really is merciless

that’s everything important about this card! i know this is long as hell but! that’s what happens when you introduce an entire new mechanic. i guess. anyways alt card art!!!

[vilentia]

Hey just wondering if you still write for tangerine? If you do I was hoping you’d write one about tangerine having to most sweetest and kindest wife and everyone always wondering how could she marry a big grump like him? Like tangerine is on a job and he’s due back in a few days and these men have been sent to kidnap his wife and she sees them infront of her house and goes out asking if they are lost and invites them inside for some tea and makes them lunch and they end up leaving without her because of how sweet she was and tangerine comes back recognising the men leaving the house and his wife waving goodbye to them lol if that makes sense thank you

Disarmed by Kindness

Tangerine x reader

Found this in my requests and finally felt inspired enough to write something. Sorry for the long wait and I hope it was worth it. 🫣

Tangerine wiped the sweat off his brow as he stood on the rooftop, his sharp eyes scanning the horizon. His job was nearly done. Just a few more days, and he’d be back home, where things were different—where he wasn’t just Tangerine the assassin, but your husband, the man who couldn’t figure out why someone as sweet as you would ever marry a grump like him.

His thoughts drifted to you: your warm smile, gentle hands, and that voice of yours that could soothe him even on his worst days. Every time someone learned that you were his wife, their brows would furrow, and their lips would purse in confusion. How could someone so kind, so impossibly good-hearted, be married to someone like him? It was a mystery that followed you both everywhere, but one that neither of you cared to solve. You fit together in a way that made sense only to you.

Meanwhile, back at your cozy home, you hummed a tune as you prepared some fresh lemonade. You had just finished baking a batch of lemon tarts, knowing they were his favorite, even though he always pretended to prefer more "manly" desserts. He’d be back soon, and you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he bit into one of the tarts.

As you set the table for lunch, you noticed a group of men lingering just beyond the front gate. They were tough-looking, with hard expressions and eyes that flickered with suspicion. Your heart skipped a beat, but only out of concern that they might be lost or in need of help. You quickly slipped on your apron and stepped outside, your bright smile leading the way.

“Hello there!” you called out, waving as you approached. The men, all too familiar with violence and the rougher side of life, were caught off guard by the sight of you—a small, smiling woman heading straight for them.

One of the men, clearly the leader, cleared his throat and put on his best menacing face. “Ma’am, we… uh… we’re looking for someone.”

“Well, you found me!” you beamed. “But I’m afraid you might be mistaken about who you’re looking for. Are you lost? Why don’t you come inside for some tea? I’ve just baked some lemon tarts, and they’re still warm.”

The men exchanged confused glances. This wasn’t how these things usually went. But something about you—your warmth, your kindness—disarmed them completely. Before they knew it, they were nodding and following you into the house, each one feeling more out of place than the last.

Inside, you bustled around the kitchen, brewing tea, slicing tarts, and setting out an array of sandwiches you had planned to eat alone. The men sat around the table, their bulky forms hunched awkwardly over the delicate teacups you handed them.

“So, who is it you’re looking for?” you asked sweetly as you poured them more tea.

The leader, struggling to remember why they were there in the first place, muttered, “We were sent to… uh… collect someone important.”

“Oh dear, I hope it’s nothing serious. You know, my husband is due back any day now. He’s such a dear, but I do worry about him when he’s away.” You sighed softly, the picture of a concerned wife.

The men felt a pang of guilt they weren’t accustomed to. They looked around at the cozy house, the floral curtains, the homemade meal. How could they possibly harm you or take you away? You were like a ray of sunshine, and they were nothing but storm clouds.

As they finished their tea, you packed up the remaining tarts into a neat little box and handed it to the leader. “For the road,” you said with a smile. “I wouldn’t want you going hungry.”

The men, now thoroughly confused and utterly charmed, left the house without so much as a harsh word. As they walked down the driveway, they glanced back to see you waving them off, your smile as bright as ever.

Just as they reached the street, Tangerine’s car pulled up. He stepped out, eyes narrowing as he recognized the men from a job he’d finished the week before. His hand instinctively moved toward the gun under his coat, but he stopped short when he saw you at the door, waving at the men with that sweet smile of yours.

The leader of the group met Tangerine’s gaze, and for a moment, it seemed like things could go south. But then the man raised the box of tarts, nodded once, and muttered, “You’ve got a good one there, mate.” And with that, they left, the mission completely forgotten.

Tangerine watched them go, then turned to you, who had already started fussing over him. “You’re back early! I didn’t even get a chance to make your favorite dinner yet,” you said, pulling him inside.

“What were those men doing here?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

“Oh, them? Just some lost souls looking for directions, I think. They seemed nice enough once you got to know them,” you said, dismissing the incident with a wave.

Tangerine couldn’t help but smirk. Of course, you had no idea who they really were or what they had intended to do. You saw the good in everyone, even those who didn’t deserve it. And somehow, that goodness had protected you.

He pulled you into a tight embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You’re something else, you know that?”

You looked up at him, your eyes full of warmth and love. “And you’re my grumpy bear. Now, come on, I’ve got lemon tarts.”

As you sat down to eat, Tangerine couldn’t shake the image of those hardened men walking away from your house, a box of tarts in hand, thoroughly disarmed by the woman he loved. You had a way of softening even the hardest of hearts, and in that moment, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

No one would ever understand how you worked together, but that was fine. As long as you had each other, Tangerine knew he’d always have a reason to come home, no matter how tough the job.

[levilxvr]

levi nsfw alphabet🤭

a/n: this post is way longer than i expected lol

female reader btw

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

aftercare is extremely important to levi. It’s a way of assuring you that you’re loved, as well as ensuring you’re ok and not hurt.

Will spend time to make you a cup of his favourite tea, take a warm, damp cloth to wipe both of you up and then lay back down beside you to cuddle<3

B - Body part (their favorite body part of theirs/ their partner’s)

levi loves your hands. Partly because its the easiest part of you to access especially when you’re with other people. He can hold them, caress them, play with them and kiss them- overall he just loves your hands a lot.

When you’re alone with him though, he loves your waist. He’ll run his hands along your sides and soak in the feeling of your curves under his palms, especially when hes spooning you.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

if you’re comfortable with it he loves cumming inside you,. there’s something about the way your pussy looks as his cum is dripping out that turns him on even more

If you’d rather he do it outside, he’ll probably shoot his load on your stomach or clit

D - Dirty secret

ok hear me out the first thing that comes to my mind when i look at levi is panty sniffer. Like you cant tell me he doesn’t love doing that😭

Especially when he’s helping you do the laundry- of course he’ll never admit it but sometimes he just, you know..like if it’s there he’ll take the opportunity. Kinda just stands there with the rest of the laundry pile in his other hand, letting his thoughts wander as he breaths in your scent.

E - Experience (how experienced are they?)

when he first met you this man had zero experience when it comes to sex. I mean, he’s busy with the scouts and all his other duties and probably never had time to think about how its actually done yk

The first time you and him got down to business he was kinda shy since he wasn’t really confident, but it all worked out in the end- he knows how it goes but just wasn’t sure how to make you feel good too. Over the years, his performance improved a lot and now he’s a complete freak in the sheets :) (i can confirm)

F - Favorite position

missionary is the way to go

he loves being able to see your face while he’s making love to you and can easily communicate with you while doing it. He also finds it the most comfortable for both of you (which is important)

he likes cowgirl too when he’s feeling more subby

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i’d say he’s more serious while having sex, but not in a bad way- its more of like, soft and romantic to him and he tends to be more sappy and all when you’re doing it. But he does giggle occasionally when he’s pillow talking with you after, cuz he’s happy to be with you and feels okay to show his vulnerable side <3

H- Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

levi takes grooming very seriously and always makes sure he’s nice and clean. Sometimes he’ll let it grow out a little more but he always ensures that at the very least it’s neatly trimmed and not all over the place. I feel like he wouldn’t shave it all off completely though because he hates the prickly feeling after that

Has a nice happy trail too (yummy)

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very romantic and soft. when it comes to sex, levi likes to keep it intimate and special. it’s a time for him to express his love for you and show you how much he treasures you, so he’ll be whispering praises, kissing you gently and telling you what he loves about you while doing it.

J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

normally he doesn’t masturbate unless you’re away from him for more than a week

usually he can control himself pretty well but once he reaches his limit, thats it. His hands are in his pants while he imagines it’s your pussy around his cock, jerking himself off to the thought of you. (Be prepared cuz when you reunite with him he’s getting down to it straight away)

it doesn’t satisfy him as much though, and he finds himself cumming lesser than when he’s with you

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise kink! he’ll never admit it but when you whisper in his ear, telling him how good he’s doing or how amazing he’s making you feel, it drives him insane. He just loves hearing words of reassurance from you <3

breeding kink as well. Especially post war, when you finally settle down with him and tell him you’re ready to start a family. lord he’s cumming inside you every night- and if any of it leaks out of your pussy he’s fucking it right back in. Also enjoys watching it ooze out though, bc then he knows he did a good job stuffing you full with his cum.

L - Location (favorite places to do the do)

bedroom for maximum comfort. its his favourite place to do it but if he’s working overtime in the office and you pay him a visit, be prepared cuz he’s probably gonna end up fucking you on the desk.

He likes to do it in the shower too for easy clean up

M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

levi seeing you wearing his clothes is a huge turn on. like especially when you’re in one of his oversized shirts wearing nothing underneath but a pair of panties- it’s like heaven right in front of him

french kisses also get him horny, actually. He can’t help it but every time you’re kissing and it turns really heated and passionate he feels himself hardening in his pants.

N - No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he doesn’t like impact play. Be it spanking, hitting, going too rough to the point where it hurts, he’s not a fan of it.

other than that he’s honestly pretty open to trying new things if you want (but of course, he has limits)

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

overall levi prefers giving, but wouldn’t mind if you want to suck him off too. He just loves eating you out though, you taste so good every single time and enjoys it when your hands are tugging his hair while he licks you up.

He’s really good with his mouth like man just knows exactly where to suck to make you cum in minutes.

When he’s receiving he likes to sit back with a hand behind his head, enjoying the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock, occasionally bucking his hips to gently fuck your mouth.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it goes both ways tbh. generally if you’re just having sex for fun because one of yall are horny he can be pretty rough and fast. He loves hearing you scream his name as he pounds you against the bed or table, and you both get the best orgasms when he does it rough.

on certain days he tends to be softer and gentler with you, though. for instance when you return from an expedition or when the mood is just more romantic and intimate. Sometimes he likes to take his time pleasuring you, demonstrating how much he adores you as he carefully slides in and out. He can be really slow and sensual- just depends on the mood.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

given his job, quickies tend to be quite a frequent occurrence in your relationship. Of course, levi prefers to do the whole thing nice and slow as much as possible, but sometimes he just can control himself and you end up indulging in a short session. Usually it happens in his office or the barracks.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)

experiment wise i feel like this man is really traditional and would prefer to just you know go with the flow. He isn’t really into trying out new things unless you really want to

levi loves taking risks though. Not anything that dangerous but sometimes he likes fucking you with his fingers under the table in a meeting, or doing it in semi public areas where other cadets could catch yall. it’s the thrill of it that turns him on even more.

also loves to test his pullout game smh. of course, you trust him and his reflexes but once you were both drunk and he nearly came inside you with no contraceptives on accident lmaoo

S - Stamina

lord.

he can basically last like 8-10 rounds at a time if you’re able to hold up that long. He’s got really good stamina. But if you’re really fucked out after a few rounds he’s totally okay with it :)

T - Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesnt really like them tbh, i can see him not really understanding the point of em- like why use toys when his cock and fingers exist? So no he doesn’t own any but would be quite intrigued if you have any and show him how to use them (hes a visual learner)

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

teases you A LOT. 

Will talk dirty beside you while you’re in a public setting with your friends around, caress your thigh, kiss your earlobe etc. and then walk away like nothing happened

in bed- before he even enters you there’s a moment where he just has to rub his cockhead against your clit for a little while, occasionally brushing against your folds as well until you’re begging him to just put it in.

V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Hm i imagine he’s pretty quiet tbh

levi looks like the kind that doesn’t wanna be too loud cuz he’s a little shy, but occasionally he lets out a few groans and breathy noises as he’s fucking you. He doesn’t talk a lot during sex as well so usually it’s just little curses between soft moans

Gets louder when he’s close and starts panting with every thrust he makes. That’s how you can tell he’s gonna cum soon, and eventually when he does, he goes silent for a second because it feels so good he can’t even vocalise it.

W - Wild card (a random headcanon)

levi’s a little insecure about his size sometimes. You always reassure him that’s it’s perfect- cuz honestly it’s a decent length but sometimes he’s just worried he doesn’t please you well enough. It definitely does though, and you make sure to prove it to him whenever you do the deed.

X - X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

realistically i’d say hes a solid 5.5 inches, cut, slight curve up at a nice angle, base colour #C4A484, tip is #FFB6C1 but turns darker when aroused. Also got a nice little vein running down the right side🤗

He’s more on the girthy side as well when he gets hard

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

it wasn’t high before he met you, on a scale of one to ten probably like 2 tbh

once he met you and actually had sex for the first time though..it sort of awoke something in him and now he can’t go more than a few days without releasing. His sex drive gets especially high on days when you get to go out for fancy dinners with the rest of the cadets. Seeing you in those tight fitting dresses always turns him on so much.

Z - Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

will never let himself fall asleep before you do. No matter how sleepy he is, aftercare always comes first and he makes sure you’re both cleaned up and comfortable before he gives in to sleep

Usually you guys pillow talk for a while before he begins to get sleepy but if you had a particularly rough session he can fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

the end <3

[leclsrc]

has yet to pass ✴︎ cs55

centre image by tony belobrajdic

genre: exes to lovers, slow burn, fluff, humor, slight angst, yearning, some sexual tension

word count: 12.5k

Four years after an angry breakup, the universe is bored enough to nominate Carlos Sainz for GQ Sports’ Man of the Year and assign you to be the writer of his profile.

notes... internet translated spanish lol

auds here... requested, this fic is long! i hope you all like it apologies for the inactivity </3 exes to lovers we have a very love/hate relationship but this was a pleasure to write

You’re half sure your head is about to pop out from how annoyed you are.

At the office, mornings move slowly in the very corporate-desk-job kind of way, but today is notably slower. Your boss had called you in an hour earlier to discuss important matters, and this is your third hour waiting already. Either your boss is a dumbass, or you got the wrong email, which both essentially mean the same thing anyway.

The time on your Panthère tells you you’re curving into the three-and-a-half hour territory, and right as you’re about to get up to get a glass of water, the large wooden door swings open and your name is called through the crack in it. Suddenly the irritation dissipates into nerves, and because Jonathan didn’t specify anything in the email, you realize you could be wading into anything right now. Termination. Promotion. A brick to the head.

“Morning,” you offer once the door’s been shut behind you. 

“Sorry for the wait,” he says politely. “We’ve been in discussions with GQ Sports all day. All night last night, too. It’s all proper boring.”

You nod, remaining fairly quiet and waiting for him to break the news to you. He clears his throat, places his hands on his hips and exhales.

“Right, so this is all related to GQ, actually. They’re doing a Men of Sports segment and they asked us to assign one of our writers to an athlete. You’re our best right now, really—your article turnout last year was absolutely stellar. So, there’s, ah… there’s tennis, yeah, there’s footie, obviously, and—under usual circumstances, you’d get to choose one of either. But we actually really wanted to cover racing this year.”

The cloud above your head carrying the dreams of interviewing Leo Messi or Roger Federer pops dismally.

“Racing.” You repeat curtly.

“It’s gotten proper viral this year!” He smiles, gestures to nothing to prove his point. “Every teenage girl’s got a crush or other on a driver. Anyway, we set you up with the racing category, and the segment comes out in around six months.”

“I’ve got a tiny bit of a qualm about th—”

“So it’s decided. GQ’s going to pick out the driver for you, and you’ll be introduced at a gala next week.”

“Wait—” you laugh uncomfortably. “I’m thankful for the opportunity, and wow, thank you for choosing me, really, but do I not get to pick my own driver?” You clear your throat. “I mean, I’m spinning the story.”

“I know,” he sighs. “But this deal moved pretty quick, so a majority of the leverage goes to them. Don’t worry, though—a lot of the drivers will have great stories, I’m sure. You’ve got Lewis, you’ve got the Verstappen guy, you’ve got the Rosberg fellow…”

“Rosberg retired in 2016.”

“Oh, fuck, seriously? Well. Hit me with a brick then.”

—

The gala is a fundraiser to celebrate the season kicking off, you realize when you step outside the car and read the navy blue banner across the entrance to the carpet. It’s all fancy fonts and table placements, but One look at the watches and earrings in this place will tell you there’s more than enough funds already. You digress, anyway, walking inside to find the only one person you’re familiar with in the world of racing.

“Lewis,” you mutter when you locate him, voice dry with dread (and lack of alcohol), “kill me now.”

“On the off chance you’re serious—I’m actually willing to do so.” You slap his arm and he scowls.

“I’m supposed to meet the driver I’m writing about tonight, but the GQ guy hasn’t texted me. Christ, I hope it’s you. At least I have years’ worth of blackmail on you to really sell the profile.”

He only laughs, guiding the both of you to a champagne tower and offering you one. You down it in seconds, suffocated by nerves and the curiosity blooming inside you. “You don’t think it’s…?”

“I think they keep track of those things,” he replies, but his voice is only half-sure. “Conflict of interest and that. But Jonathan did say it was a quick deal?” You nod. “So it’s not impossible, I suppose.”

Big help, you chirp sarcastically, eyes perusing the large room. There are tables populated by celebrities, by politicians, and of course, by drivers. You keep scanning, squinting to chisel your search further, but it’s cut off by a tap of two fingers on your shoulder. 

“Hi. I’m Nick, the GQ rep, and I believe you and I have a meeting,” says the man behind you with an excited smile. “Why don’t we…?”

He gestures to the expanse of the room and you nod, falling into step beside him. He introduces the article, the concept of shadowing the athlete to achieve a more immersive piece of work as a result, something novel and innovative.

He’s right in the middle of talking about Jonathan when he stops at one of the cocktail tables and stations the two of you there. “Okay. You’re one of the biggest names in sports journalism right now, so it means a lot for you to want to represent racing. Especially because both Neymar Jr. and Nadal expressed bids to get you to write their segments!”

“They wh—”

“Right, here we are. Meet your shadow—or, subject—for the next six-ish months.” He places two hands atop your shoulders and wheels you around, so your eyes meet those of, “…Carlos Sainz Jr.!”

Yeah. This is fucking rich. 

Nick is talking but none of it falls right on your ears. Everywhere in your mind, alarm bells ring at full volume, alerting you to the danger present, almost. You plaster on a fake smile to acknowledge his presence, but his outstretched hand goes unnoticed. Clearly picking up on the tension, Nick gives a sheepish giggle and ducks out of the exchange, leaving the two of you woefully alone.

“Carlos,” you say politely. “What a nice surprise.”

There is a limited amount of phrases that are considered acceptable to say to an estranged ex of four years. There’s oh, what a surprise!, didn’t expect to see you here, you look well. It’s limited because nobody ever thinks to run into their estranged ex of four years, and even then, any sane person would do well to avoid interaction at all costs. So you’re really the luckiest son of a bitch in the world to be situated with a stuffy public interaction, under the guise of professionalism, with your ex-boyfriend.

Your history is heavy in the air. The last time you saw each other, things had been a lot different, but now you’re two professionals. Really. You really are professional.

“I refuse to be within ten metres of the guy,” you say, on your third martini. Lewis faces you with poorly hidden concern, and beside him, roped into your lovelorn matters, so does Sebastian Vettel. “Ten metres. Actually, no. Make it twenty. How can I be arsed to write an all-over-him feature about a guy I absolutely hate and haven’t seen in four years?! I had it all sussed—get assigned to Lewis, write the best feature, then restore his eighth world title.”

“—She’s joking,” coughs Lewis.

“Oh, but now? Now, it’s get assigned to my ex, write like shit, never get recognized for a good piece, and die hungry and alone on the streets of London. You know, I should just call Jonathan and tell him I don’t want this. I’d rather go back to writing normal articles.” You pry your clutch open but a hand stops you before you can.

“Don’t.” Sebastian’s voice is gentle, but firm. “This is a test of character, don’t you think? More than that—it’s a test of how good you are as a writer.”

“True,” interjects Lewis, chewing on a quiche. “If you can write a stellar profile about an ex, I mean—you’re just proper talented. But it’s also about how strong you are now, morally. Emotionally.”

“I’m perfectly fine emotions-wise, thanks,” you retort. Both men shrug, backing off, and you feel like you should be smug about it—but your mind is stuck on the topic even as the night passes.

You end up deciding when you’re kicking your heels off in your flat a few hours later, giving Jonathan a ring despite the late hour. It takes a while for the man to pick up, but he does eventually, with an excited tone colouring his voice—“How’s my star writer? Sainz, huh? Real eye candy.”

“About that…” you start, walking over to your bookshelf and chewing your lip, trying to think of the right way to decline the offer. Your eyes land on one of the several awards you’ve garnered in your profession—in fact, the very first one. Most Promising Journalist, it reads, embedded into the front’s frosty surface. 

Four years ago. And you’ve proven it since, if the crowd of glass around it is anything to go by. Why let a petty ex destroy what could potentially be one of your biggest gigs yet? Your segue outside of sports journalism?

“Earth to—yeah, hello? About what?” Jonathan’s voice breaks you out of your thought train.

“… I just, uh,” you say, nodding, “I wanted to say I’m really excited.”

— 

Carlos Sainz Jr., 27, is on the rise as one of Formula One’s most talented drivers… (add more info…) His smooth driving style and charm has led him to become one of the most popular figures in the sport, both on and off the paddock. He is also a huge, absolutely irritating, cannot for the life of him be humble!!!, SON OF A BITCH, PRICK, ASSHOLE—AND THE BIGGEST WANKER ON PLANET EAR

“The team will be here in just a minute,” says the lady who’d ushered you into this meeting room in Maranello. You half-shut your laptop in fear she’ll catch sight of your brief Word document meltdown, but she doesn’t seem to notice, setting a glass of water beside you and you stare idly at it while waiting for the rest of the room to enter. You’re expecting Nick, Carlos, Mattia—the boss—and Charles, his teammate. Jonathan’s already beside you playing Candy Crush on his phone, as per boomer law.

This meeting is pointless. You’ve already exchanged the bare minimum pleasantries with Carlos, anyway, and you cannot for the life of you decipher why there needs to be a whole new corporate clash just for this. But here you are anyway, awaiting your ex-boyfriend’s arrival into the room and back into your sweet life.

He enters with everybody else, his hair half-damp and his eyes meeting yours almost immediately. You clear your throat and turn away, standing to shake hands with Mattia. He’s pleasant about it, expressing excitement for the final output and commending your earlier work as a writer. You offer the polite small talk back, discussing plans for the article and the release date.

“Over at GQ Sports, we’re really trying to make this concept as immersive as possible. That requires the writer to shadow the athlete at almost all times, maybe taking a couple days off if needed. That might mean she gets a paddock pass, and things like that.”

“That’s no problem,” Mattia says. “Anything for the article.”

You end up being introduced to Charles, too—Charles Leclerc, who wears a contagious smile and won’t stop letting his eyes frolic in between you and Carlos, like he can sense the history. You suspect Carlos brought him up to speed, anyway, but it’s still a bit amusing. While the meeting carries on, Charles chips in with a joke. “Hey, if you find this guy irritating, you and I are going to get along.”

You laugh a bit, but remain mostly quiet for the sake of being professional. You miss the way Carlos’ eyes linger on you a second too long, focusing on the tail-end of the meeting so you can, for lack of better word, get the fuck out of here.

Of course, though, you’re stopped in the middle of the parking lot by Carlos himself, whose apologetic face is the first thing you see when you turn around with a huff. You���d already known it was him—he was calling your name loudly as he jogged over to you—but it’s still a sour surprise.

“What?”

“Let’s”—he pauses to take a breath—“talk. Listen, I know it must be an imposition for you to write about this, about me. Let me make it clear that I’m 100% okay if you choose to switch athletes. And if you needed any background information, I’ll be willing to give you that.”

“I don’t care what you’re okay with,” you say blankly. “And I’ve got Google.”

“Right.” He stares. “Um. Okay, well, let’s—can we agree, then? To be civil, for the period of time this article will be written?”

You consider the truce. As much as you’d like to be snarky with him and make your disdain all the more clear, you’re also not interested in making a scene or causing any type of fuss around his—and your—colleagues. The glass awards on your shelf flash through your mind, and you inhale softly. “Okay.”

He smiles. This seems a bit more difficult than you thought, for reasons you didn’t even consider.

“Forget anything ever happened,” he says when your hands meet. Something jolts through you.

Yeah, you’re fucked.

—

Your introduction to the actual sports part of the profile goes well, with a flurry of chaos in Bahrain.

Despite Jonathan’s texted reminder from Friday morning (Stick to Sainz the whole time), you find yourself staying in your comfort zone, ergo following Lewis around nearly the entire weekend. Granted, you are itnroduced to a few more drivers—Mick, Esteban, Alex—but also Lando, one of Carlos’ closest friends on the paddock, who makes dirty jokes from the get go.

Still, even Lewis has to remind you you have another driver to actually cover, so you reluctantly detach from him on the race day and begin your search for—

“Carlos,” you utter, breathless from exhaustion when you finally locate him inside his room at the motorhome, which you swear you checked twenty minutes ago. Either he’s avoiding you or he’s truly impossible to find. He adjusts his suit and looks at you with an unreadable expression.

“Yes?”

“I need a couple of words from you.” You smile politely, taking a seat on the couch armrest. “Like, pre-race nerves, jitters, routine. Anything?”

“I have a playlist,” he says, humming. “I like to call family, have a talk with the engineers.” He says it like en-yi-neers, but you already anticipated it. You’ve known en-yi-neers for years. You know how he talks, pronounces everything. “And I say a prayer, trust the car.”

“Trust the car?” You type the last few words onto your laptop, which you’d been toting around all day. It balances on your lap. “Any follow-ups to that, considering there’s been some chatter around the car this year and its supposed faultiness?”

“I just do what I do best,” he replies, steadfast. “The rest is a gamble I’m willing to take.”

“Perfect.” You finish. “That was a great line. Thanks so much, really.” It’s your reporter voice, the one you use for just about everyone else on the paddock. He nods in response, and the room ebbs into silence again. It’s awkward, when you excuse yourself and exit, already planning exactly how you’re going to tell this to Lewis. Halfway out the door, you purse your lips, turn, and then:

“Good luck, by the way.” Your voice falls soft. 

He looks up, momentarily surprised. “Thank you.”

You nod a little, smiling as you shut the door.

Carlos ends up getting second place—you’re beside a zealous Ferrari engineer when it happens, walking along the pit lane. Compared to your stoic smile, their reaction looks like the pinnacle of human emotion. Your turmoil is all inward, a melting pot of emotion for the driver. Would it be weird, you think, to feel proud? To feel happy? When things have ended?

Much later, when you’re wrestling for comfort in the throng of cheering Ferrari engineers, you squint to find Carlos on the podium.

You’re aware there are photographers everywhere, with high-def cameras that rival your natural eyesight, even, but still you tug your phone out and snap a few shitty zoomed-in pictures of him in second place, smiling and sprayed with champagne. You think of the profile, of the words you’ll use to capture this moment, the season kickoff. But most of all you think of the way his eyes seem to search for something specific in the mass of people, or the way you wished for them to meet yours.

—

Sainz, a self-proclaimed music lover, loads a pre-race playlist that changes every few locations. He names some of his favorite artists and songs as sources of motivation.

You climb into the passenger seat of his Golf when you finally find him, after a half hour of asking around everywhere. First, it was “in the motorhome,” then it was “in a meeting,” then it was “hanging out with Charles”—none of which ended up being true, anyway. He doesn’t question your presence (he hasn’t much, lately), just lets his eyes wander over to you briefly before you begin asking questions.

“Favorite song?” You get straight to it, stressed over the article. Jonathan has been on your ass about missing a deadline and causing the third world war in the process, or something or other. You sigh when you settle into the seat.

“Not even a hello or a buenas noches,” he says as he pulls out of the parking lot to drive the both of you to your hotel. “What’s this for?”

“You already know,” you say, humming as you sift through notes. “Listen. You did an interview before with Toro Rosso, right? Where you said your favorite artists were Muse, Kings of Leon, and The Killers. Right?”

“What the—you are a serious stalker.” He laughs out loud, eyes still on the road ahead.

“It’s kind of my job, Carlos,” you say, smiling and gritting your teeth. “Just answer.”

“Sí, sí. Yeah, I like that genre. I like rock, I guess… rock, indie, 80’s. You’d be surprised how little of an effect music has on my pre-race routine, though, even if I have a playlist.”

“Tell me more,” you muse. Your laziness to retrieve your laptop results in you scribbling soundbites onto your notebook instead. 

“Music is an escape for me, you know? I like it a lot. So as long as something gets me going, I’m good with it. It doesn’t have to be by a favorite artist, or a famous one, or a Spanish one. Though I have been listening to Shakira a lot lately.” Obsessively listens to Shakira, you write. “It’s just release. Lately, I’ve been listening to the same few ones on loop.”

“Care to share?” Music = release. Same songs looped.

He presses something onto the centre console, and music flows throughout the car right after. “This.”

Baby I’m Yours by Arctic Monkeys, you write, and then, all at once, you slowly realize exactly what you’re writing. You stare at the scrawled-on words, the song bleeding into your ears and saturating your brain. You’ve always thought of this song with a weird feeling, one in between nostalgia and hurt, and now it’s on full blast. In Carlos’ Golf, no less, which happened to be the venue for many of your listening parties back then.

Back then—when nobody knew much of this song and it hadn’t yet become an indie anthem. It was just another cover by your favorite band in 2015. It became your song, the song for kitchen dances, the song for long car rides, the song for the red lights, the song for the morning routine.

But now it’s just a song.

“Carlos,” you say. It’s supposed to sound strict, firm, even a little angry. But you’re so affected, it leaves you quietly instead, weakly almost. “Come on.”

“Do you remember when you first showed me this song?” He responds instead, the volume still loud. You allow yourself to smile a little, leaning your head back and watching the cityscape of Bahrain whir past. In a foreign city, you think, you feel more at home than ever.

“Yeah,” you profess. “On my iPhone—what was it then? iPhone 5, or something.” You both laugh a little. The dam has broken, it seems, and topics of your past relationship seem to now be open to discussion. But it doesn’t feel alien, or weird, or uncomfortable. Carlos laughs, makes fun of your old lockscreen, and all is well.

A lot of memories have unwittingly attached themselves to this song. It’s the kind of song where, even in the opening notes, you’re already stunned with the myriad of them. There are the obvious ones: first finding the song, first dancing to it. But it trickles down into the smaller, more niche ones.

The time you got a busker in London to perform it for you both, and danced like idiots at ten-thirty in the evening, while some onlooking geriatric couple watched with mild entertainment. The time you got him a vinyl record of this EP, and left it in the cab before you were supposed to give it to him, leading to you crying on his sofa while he cuddled you and fed reassurance into your ear. The time he attempted to learn the chords to it and broke the string of your decorative guitar.

Like always, Carlos drives one-handed. He’s usually responsible, but if he’s cruising, or driving at a relatively slow pace, he likes to lean back and use his left. His right lays, unmanned, on the centre console of the Golf. You don’t notice it’s there until you finish writing a sample line on your notebook and you lower your left hand absentmindedly, brushing a finger against his in the process.

Your instinct is to jerk away, but Carlos is calm, humming to the song and reading road signs. So you let it rest there, in part to show yourself you’re capable of relaxing, but—and it feels like a heavy thing to admit—also because you like the feeling.

So your hands are there, just shy of each other, barely touching. His pointer finger twitches, almost like he’s trying to hold it back from inviting yours to wrap around it. You let yours brush over them a little bit, pulling away. Then he coughs, and lifts his hand to make a right turn, so you resume writing, eyes downcast. 

—

You’d spent the Saudi weekend less with Lewis (in a bid to follow his advice) and socialized a bit more with Lando and Charles, who both proved to be pleasant company. They played table tennis with you and even shared a good chunk of grid gossip.

“Pierre and Yuki have soooo done it,” whispers Charles, scandalized, sipping a G&T from a decorative polka dot straw.

“Shut up!” You clap a hand over your mouth. “I mean, I had my suspicions. But really? They’ve shagged?”

“Oh.” He pauses dumbly, scratching his head. “I meant they’ve done marijuana.”

“Damn it, Charles,” bemoans Lando. “You’re a sodding buzzkill. We’ve all done weed, this is not news. The gay sex would’ve been.”

The afternoon progresses into night, and you seem to be on a roll with the sports component—Carlos gets to P3 in Saudi Arabia. You travel to his motorhome room after the debrief, where you hope he’ll be, and find him packing shit up inside.

“Good work out there,” you say, and when he looks up he finds himself meeting your eyes in the mirror. He fumbles with the zip of his suit and you walk a little closer.

He huffs out a polite thanks, tugging on the zipper harder. The cloth’s eaten it, a problem that’s been plaguing his race suits as of late—a problem, according to his engineer, easily solvable if he’d just be more patient with tugging it downward to loosen. A problem you’re familiar with as well, from his Toro Rosso days of ranting to you about zippers and sewing.

You lean against the wall and maintain safe distance. “I’m going to ask you about the race later.”

“Alright. What specifically?” He begins the mental Spanish-English translation in advance. 

“Whatever you can give,” you reply, nonchalant. “Maybe more on the feeling while racing. The different perspectives of P3? Sort of like—yeah, you’re on the podium, but it’s not P1.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” he laughs a little, a bit embarrassed he hasn’t fully undone the zipper yet. “Um, sure. I’ll meet you outside afterward.”

“Thanks. And—” You stop yourself in your tracks, still facing him in the mirror. His eyes find yours again, eyebrows raised from the unfinished sentence. “—Be patient with the zip.”

He chuckles, memories surfacing like bubbling lava. “Right. Bueno.” He turns and throws his hands up, looks like he’s surrendering almost. “Help me out?”

You’re incredulous—it’s a highly compromising position.

But he’s not really smiling, and he seems to be seriously asking you to please help zip him up, so you nod. Nod once then twice, walking slowly over to him and placing two fingers on the zipper. You don’t notice how shaky your grip is until you see the way your hand trembles.

Slowly, you tug. Upward, then downward, then upward again, to loosen the stubborn thing. Your eyes move until they meet his, and you realize how close together you are. From here you can see the faint pink indents on his face from the balaclava, and you wonder almost how it’d feel to stroke over it with your thumb. It twitches on the zip and you remember to yank it again.

“Just give me a second,” you say, but you’re not even paying attention to the zipper.

Just him. Just the proximity. The thoughts of what if—what if you leaned closer, right now? Closed the gap, shut your eyes, let your finger trace over the shape left behind by his balaclava, zip forgotten?

“Take your time.” His voice is deep, gentle. 

His eyes pierce yours, the tension growing in between you until you can barely breathe.

You pull and finally, it gives, unzipping the whole way. You blink, breaking eye contact and stepping backwards so fast you almost trip. “I’ll be outside.” The door is shut, the noise damning behind you as you finish an entire cup of water in what you genuinely think to be record time. 

—

“Fine. Fifty euros.”

“Fifty?! Cheap trick. Make it two hundred.” 

“If you’re in the hundred territory, might as well make it five hundred. Turn this into a serious thing.” 

“Deal.” The Brit and the Monegasque clap their hands together in a firm handshake. “Let’s talk terms.”

Charles recites his end of the bet, as clearly as he did when this was first wagered just ten minutes ago. “She and Carlos will start dating before the article is even published.”

“They’re exes, innit?” Lando laughs. “You’re wrong, Charl-ito. They will never date, ever again. Exes don’t date.”

“Unless they’re soulmates,” he reasons.

“Psh, what do you know about soulmates?” The younger raises a condescending brow. “You dated a girl and then her best friend.”

“Back off,” insists Charles petulantly, watching Lando messily write down the evidence of their wager on a small slip of paper. For proof, he’d said, before slipping it into the back of his opaque phone case. He waves it around. “We shall see.”

“You will definitely be paying me up,” Charles says proudly. “Just you wait.”

—

“Care to listen to me?” You hoist yourself onto the stool of this hotel bar, ordering yourself a martini.

“Always,” says Lewis, immediately facing you. He’s always been one of the kindest, most genuine people in your life. He’s known you forever, and he’s the only person here who really knows the extent of your history with Carlos, all the layers, all the fights, all of it.

You sigh and lean against the backrest, deflated. “Carlos and I… I don’t know if this is going to work.”

“The article?”

“Being with him.” You pause to reword it. “Around him.”

“I see. Hasn’t it been, what—four years now, though?”

“Yeah, but…” But why does it feel like you both want those four years gone? The car ride with the song, the eye contact, zip situation after Saudi. You lick over your lips and sit a little straighter.

“Lew, it’s just—and you should know this—when you break up with someone, you’re forced to unlearn all the things you knew about them.” You sigh. “All the… just all of it. The habits, the quirks, the favorite words, the way they like their toast and eggs. And if you can’t, then fine, it’s still okay, because why would you ever need it again? But I haven’t forgotten anything, and now he’s back in my life.”

Lewis stares, with eyes that convey solemnity and a little sadness. He seems to understand, watching you intently, the way your eyes are glassy with unshed tears.

“So now I see him, and it feels like he’s like”—you inhale—“this sounds… bad, but like… I’m… like he’s a lover, kind of. In disguise, a little bit. I don’t know. Like, I have to pretend I know nothing about him, like every little fun fact is a new thing for the profile… but I know everything.” And what a heavy burden it is.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. 

“No, don’t be. I’m pretty sure this is all one-sided.” You take a long sip. “That’s the price to pay for ending on bad terms, I suppose.”

“Just think,” he muses out loud. “When this is all over and you’re accepting your Pulitzer, you won’t even be thinking of him one bit.”

“Right,” you say. Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. He’s the only thing on your mind. “Right.”

You find a working title for the article later. Carlos Sainz, it reads on your Word document. On racing, gracious defeat, and life’s driving forces.

—

Like every other sport, Formula One drivers have their share of bad competition days. Sainz recalls a time his car failed and caused him to DNF—racing vernacular for “Did Not Finish,” a damning phrase for any driver on the grid.

A double kill vibrates through Carlos.

It’s a consecutive hit that’s both professional and personal, and greatly affects the momentum of the profile you’re busy writing. In Australia he’d been reserved, eyes stormy, walking alone but not angry. He’d congratulated Charles and everything, even offered a few words for the article. The last you saw of him was with a beer, brows knitted together.

Tonight you’re in Imola. He’d been okay after the race, the usual silence that comes with a bad result.

No hard feelings, he’d said. This is the business. Hugged Danny, excused himself; nobody said anything. It’s a normal response to a shit day. You spend the post-race buzz with Lewis and Sebastian this time, but you manage to congratulate Lando on the podium finish when you catch sight of him.

“Maaate!” He cries gleefully when he sees you. “Where’s the muppet?”

“Mourning,” you drone. “Reasonably so, I guess.”

“Tough crowd,” he says, kissing his teeth. “But, yeah. Hey—shots on me!”

“Tempting offer.” You eye the bunch of tequila on the table. “But I think I’ll retire early. I need to send a draft pretty early tonight.”

“All good. Have fun being a loser,” he says, watching you leave.  

The hotel, it turns out, is not nearly as fun as the party. Which is common sense.

You spend time writing and rewriting a few paragraphs of the article, stuck on the title of it and honestly wishing you were with Cuervo and vodka right now. You suppose you don’t need one just yet—they usually come to you late, anyways. Jonathan sends you three follow-up emails regarding a draft, so you send him the latest version and read over the file, reciting favorite lines under your breath.

In the middle of reading on the Bahrain P2 and a little segment on Sainz’s favorite Ferrari moments, somebody knocks on your door.

It’s a surprise—you don’t spend much time with people on the paddock, and only few of them know your room number, which leads you to narrow down the person on the other side to a select group. There’s Lewis, most likely of them all. Charles, who you’d grown much closer to as of late. Level with him is Lando. Then maybe, just maybe, Sebastian, to offer late night advice.

It could’ve been any of them, but it’s not. It’s somebody else.

“I’m sorry.” His voice threatens to break. “I didn’t know who else I could talk to.”

“Carlos?” You blink. 

You usher him in after, and you hope his mind is anxious enough that it doesn’t pay much attention to your hideous pajama situation (old hoodie, souvenir L.A. pajama pants). You end up on your balcony, both of you facing the frigid nighttime air. It freezes your cheeks, casts your hair backwards. Your eyes slide to his stoic figure, the way even his hair is blown back by the wind.

He’s quiet, but more relaxed, less stiff. “Sorry, again.”

“S’okay.”

You duck back inside and return with two cigarettes and a lighter. “Wanna?”

“Awful habit.” But he accepts it anyway, sticking it in between his lips. It bobs as he speaks, still unlit. “I need this, though.”

“I don’t do it regularly,” you defend, pressing the flame to the cig. He exhales. “Some situations call for them.”

“This definitely does. Bit of a slap to the face, you know?” You nod. “I’m sorry.” The apology carries more weight than it should, and you know why. 

Like it’s the most difficult thing in the world, you breathe a few times before you respond in a hushed tone. With your words comes a huff of smoke. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. You gave it your all, took a risk, it went to shit. But you gave it your all is what matters in the end. You put heart into it, which is something not everyone does in sports these days.”

“I feel… complimented.” You both laugh at the lack of good phrasing, so he rewords it. “I meant, I feel, how you say? Touched. It means a lot to be praised by you.”

“Does it?” Smoke again, another whiff of it.

“They only ever want to praise the podium finish, the P1, the title holder.” He lets the words fizzle. “But here you are praising a driver who finished like shit twice in a row. More people should be like you, paying thanks to the underdogs.”

It’s not the underdogs, you think. It’s just because of you. 

“More like the shit drivers,” you say instead, in a low rumbling voice. He laughs, calls you stupid in Spanish, and it’s a dead issue.

Later, before he leaves, when the room’s much darker and less bathed in moonlight, you whisper goodbye to him through a small crack in the door. He smiles a bit, and you catch it even with the lack of lighting.

“Thank you.” He says. He means it. You catch his perfume when the door swings closed. It smells like wood.

—

Sainz has off-grid hobbies, one of the most notable of which is cooking. He claims to have a good hold over the kitchen, and cooks several of his favorite dishes on the rare weekend off. Blah blaaahhhh, cooks well. Usually wears funky apron. WRITE THIS PROFILE ALREADY STOP EATING PASTA YOU DIPSHIT

Lando had invited you all to an Airbnb owned by a friend in Umbria, a two-ish hour drive from Imola.

With two free days, you’d followed a small group of drivers—Carlos included—to soak in the rest of Tuscany. Charles and Lando, however, left as soon as you arrived, to check out the last few hours of the farmer’s market. Alex had met Lily at the Eurostar station and they’d gone biking together.

This effectively left you and Carlos alone, which was not an unusual occurrence, but still proved to be a bit tense. With the kitchen free and the fridge stocked, Carlos suggested he cook for you both. Despite your best efforts, you ended up at the island writing and taste testing sauce, chicken, anything he slid over to you on a saucer with a tiny fork beside it.

“You’re going to give me cholesterol problems,” you quip. “This pasta is too good.”

“Cacio e pepe.” He twirls some onto a fork, straight off the pan, and shoves it into his mouth, a low mmmm leaving him once he gets to chewing. You laugh, a stifled sound through the noodles in your mouth at the exaggerated show of delicious food.

“Any favourite food you think is notable enough for the profile?” You type again, backspacing your harsh reminder. Makes a mean cacio e pepe (look up translation later). “Like, food you cook yourself, or even other recipes.”

“This,” he says, pointing to the pan. “This is fuel.”

“Amen.” Loves cacio e pepe.

“And it’s good with chicken.” He points to the oven, where he’s been baking chicken for a bit now. The kitchen smells of it, of the rosemary and oregano and pepper. “Oh, and put that I cook with music on. Let me connect my phone.”

Cooks w/ music. “Why do you need to mention that?”

“Ladies love a chef,” he says simply, letting a familiar song thrum into the woody kitchen. “And I love ladies.”

“Okay, slag.”

“Fuck off!” He begins shimmying all across the kitchen island, cranking open the oven mid-dance to check on the chicken, then continuing to clean the counter. Still he dances, and not very well, either—he always claimed singing was a stronger suit of his, so you allow the fool to be a fool.

Back when you two were still together, Carlos already had a preference for 70’s disco in the kitchen, saying it brought out the dancer in him. Nothing seems to have changed in that department, and you smile with mild embarrassment and amusement watching him dance across the kitchen, using the kitchen towel as a prop and swinging it around.

Loves dancing to The Communards while baking rosemary chicken. “Let me taste the chicken, by the way,” you ask when you finish typing, hopping off the stool and walking to the oven. He continues dancing, hips cocking poorly from side to side to the old song. He retrieves a fork and cuts a piece of chicken, reviewing its doneness briefly before turning with a piece of it stabbed into the utensil.

“Open,” he says. “It’s hot.”

It’s too natural, the way he slowly feeds you the piece. You don’t even realize it until you’re chewing, and by then he’s back to dancing to the song that’s now reaching its end. “It, uh,” you stutter, a bit nervous, “it’s really good.”

“Of course, I cooked it,” he says smugly. You grab a lime from the fruit bowl and throw it, hitting him in the back of the head in retaliation. He turns slowly, still dancing, lips stretched into a challenging smile.

Lando and Charles walk in ten minutes later to Carlos and you, yelping and chasing each other around the wide counter, chicken left atop it and forgotten in favor of the tag game. Charles, toting bags of fruit, faces Lando with a victorious expression. Pay up, he mouths, cocky.

—

It’s much too hot in Miami, but you appreciate the heavy beach culture and the even heavier nightlife.

You work on the profile until your fingers hurt from typing, sending Jonathan another draft for approval. Charles joins you on a cocktail taste test at the open bar until your tongue tastes like gin and your head is a bit spinny. Both Ferrari drivers end up having a shitload of pictures of you sleeping on the leather couch, enough that Lewis ends up getting ahold of them, too.

It’s a 2-3, in the end, with P1 going to Max. The latter throws a party at some place along the beach strip, invites you in one of the only conversations you’ve ever shared with the guy so far. He seems a bit unfriendly, but when you walk into the exclusive club later that night, you find him doing a handstand in front of a beer keg, so that’s that.

FUCK YEAH! Max hollers, following it with a howl so happy it reverbrates in your ears. It’s crowded everywhere, and you’re pretty sure Lewis isn’t here, so you spend a few minutes roaming around, getting a good grip on the vibe of the place.

It’s Carlos who finds you in the middle of the dance floor, nursing yet another drink to aid your lack of social skills. His voice is rough in your ear and it smells like a Jägerbomb, a low laugh escaping it right after. “All alone?”

“Unfortunately,” you tease, turning to face him. “Man, I thought guys were confident in Florida.”

“Cuidado,” he warns, smiling. “This dress is pretty difficult to resist.” His tongue’s definitely been loosened by shots, his eyes half-lidded and looking you up and down. You laugh, raising one eyebrow at the sudden flirty tone, but welcoming it nonetheless, depositing your now empty glass on whatever cocktail table is nearest. Who said you were sober? 

“Nobody’s inviting me, so why don’t you and I dance instead?”

He licks over his lips—he never seems to keep his tongue in his mouth—and winks, nodding.

And here in Miami, through the strobing purple lights of this ridiculously expensive club, you wrap your arms around his neck and dance to whatever Calvin Harris song is blaring through the bass.

His hands are all over you, loosening your stiff stature; they wring into the fabric of your obejctively too-short dress, raking it up a bit. You lean back and he leans forward, following you, drawn into you, your noses pressed together and your eyes meeting. Your breath heightens, holds, your fingers moving to his long hair and holding him close to you.

His hand moves over your ass, pulling you in. He smiles, pokes his tongue into his cheek, and you giggle, almost causing your lips to touch. Your mind is haywire from the alcohol, but you can’t really bring yourself to care. The warmth grows between you, closer and closer, the dynamic easy—

And then someone spills their drink on both your feet, causing you two to break apart and laugh off the tension instead. You’d almost fucking kissed. However you’re going to tell this to Lewis, you don’t even know.

And you’re not entirely sure, you think as you rinse whiskey and bile off the tip of your heel in the bathroom, how it sounds like to write Sainz and I almost made out in public on the GQ profile.

—

Nick emails you directly to ask if Carlos can do some test shoots in Miami for the profile cover.

You convince him to agree, even if he thinks he’s no good in front of a camera, and you two show up to a mostly empty warehouse studio. There’s a white backdrop situated toward the back and a tiny-sized crew of people working.

“Hi. Is this for GQ?” You ask the photographer. “Test shots?”

“Oh, hi.” He stands and shakes your hand. “I’m Luke. Big fan of your work, by the way. So the concept today is just plain shirt, long hair, gorgeous face, white background. Good?”

“Bueno,” Carlos says behind you with a smile.

You sit on a chair a few metres behind Luke while he works, watching the shots pop up on his screen every time the shutter clicks. As it turns out, Carlos is a brilliant liar, because every single shot—even one where he was fixing a wrinkle in his tee—looks perfectly usable anyway. Sainz is a natural stunner, you jot down.

It’s a bit awkward to admit you can’t help but stare, but his face is undeniably handsome, especially when he’s in front of the camera. Thankfully for you, and heavily owed to Carlos’ natural skill for modeling, the ordeal’s over in less than thirty minutes, and you begin preparing your stuff to leave.

“Oh, crap. I forgot I had to do a test bridal shoot for R&B’s wedding anniversary in September.” Luke sighs, clicking through the photos rapidly.

“R&B. The… music genre?” You ask, confused and toting your bag on your shoulder.

“Silly! Ryan and Blake. As in, Reynolds and Lively? They plan their photoshoots way in advance, and they always need sample poses to choose from.”

“Oh, I get it.” You smile. “Well, we’re sorry for keeping you.”

“You”—he stops both you and Carlos, pacing in front—“you two wouldn’t… mind, would you?”

“Mind… mind what, now?” Your eyes flit toward Carlos’ and you both laugh nervously.

“Being my mannequins for the bridal shoot!”

Both of you balk, making up all kinds of excuses, but as fate would have it, Luke is very convincing and you’re against the backdrop after five minutes of persuasion. He directs you into different silly, quirky poses—a piggyback ride both ways, smiling goofily, the like. Carlos can’t stop laughing every time the shutter clicks, at how silly the two of you must look. 

Luke plays some music to get you both looser, and directs you into a few mocking dance poses. Then he directs you in a partners-in-crime pose, which you love the outcome of. Okay, last one, newlyweds, he says. Carlos, why don’t you get behind her and wrap your arms around her waist?

You clear your throat, letting him do so anyway, his hands big around your frame. “Careful,” you whisper when he’s right behind you. Luke raises an inquisitive brow behind the camera, watches your chemistry unfold through the viewfinder. Your breath hitches a little, but you swallow the nerves.

Look into his eyes, Luke says. So you do, meet them, force yourself not to look away for once and just stare. It’d been easy to do this, because you could just as easily break the stare, but now it’s different. Your eyes flutter, and his stay unblinking. 

It’s like that for a minute, just staring, like all the things you want to say can communicate themselves through eye contact alone. Another twenty seconds pass before Luke coughs, breaking the moment.

“I said we were good like a minute ago, guys,” he says knowingly, packing up with a smirk.

—

Lewis advises you to avert your pent up “romantic” tension to another boy. It’s difficult, but you challenge yourself to find somebody anyway, maybe outside of racing, to use your extra paddock pass (courtesy of Mattia) on. The guys in your DMs are all skeevy, or you’ve unfortunately ghosted them, so they’re all out.

After some searching, you end up using your extra pass in Spain, and for James, a Sky Sports sound editor for streamed football games. He’s British and a huge Tottenham fan who you met during drinks with a few reporters the month prior. Not bad, but not necessarily your type; at this point, though, you’ll take anybody above the bare minimum. And James is above it—a gentleman, kind, funny in the quaint English way. He could be taller, but you find him charming enough.

Noise flows through the paddock, chatter and cheering and interviews. “This is so cool,” says James animatedly. “I feel like a regular Schumacher.”

You give a phony, flirty laugh and enter the Ferrari hospitality, raking your hair backwards. “I’m going to get something real quick, okay? Stay put…” You point at a lone chair. “Over there.”

“Alright,” he says with a smile. “I can’t roam arou—?”

“No!” You say, a tad too quickly. “I mean, sorry. Don’t. Just. I’ll be back really quickly.” Before you can even retrieve your phone charger from Carlos’ room, the owner himself walks into the area, squirting water into his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows together when he sees you standing beside a stranger.

“Hi,” Carlos says, a bit bluntly. His eyes are darting everywhere but at you, lingering a bit too distastefully on James’ timid figure. “You are?”

“Her date,” James says with a nervous laugh, pointing a thumb towards you. “James. Huge fan of you. Of the team.”

“Sure.” He offers a tight-lipped smile, hand meeting James’ outstretched one to form a polite handshake.

It’s awkward, is what it is—awkward and stuffy and Carlos won’t look at you. He clenches his jaw a little, smiles, looks up and down. “You, uh… how long have you guys been…?” He waves a finger in between the both of you, almost fearfully, like the answer will cast him into ashes.

“Not—not long, really.” James laughs again to relieve the tension that seeps across the room. “A month?”

“A month?” Carlos repeats, arms crossed.

“We haven’t even, like, had se—”

“That’s—” you cut in, sharp and apologetic, “wow, that’s plenty. Thanks, James. Could you get us some drinks? I’ll have a beer.”

“It’s one-thirty,” he says.

“Yeah,” you respond. “A beer.”

He leaves you both alone sheepishly, and you turn to face Carlos’ intense expression.

His arms are crossed and he rakes a hand through his hair—but he doesn’t say anything. Why should he, anyway, he thinks to himself, staring at you. You wore your hair in a ponytail today, so he sees more of your pretty face. Oh and so does James. Pendejo.

“Are you okay?” You ask, even if he knows you know what’s up.

“Totally. Muy bien.” He shrugs, drinking water again. “Should I not be?”

“Never said that,” you say, raising both eyebrows. 

“Okay. Well enjoy the beer.”

So he’s jealous. Fine, sue him. He’s jealous of the British gangly guy you thought was good enough to invite onto the paddock. Barely even made a lasting impression. He gives a small, phony smile and walks back, meeting Charles along the way.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, mate,” says the younger, slinging an arm over his shoulder. “Maybe the ghost of James?” He flicks the guy’s forehead, laughing.

P4, it ends up being. Not nearly good enough. But James is the first to say, “Congratulations, hombre!” in a God awful accent, so it becomes ten times worse, really.

—

“Alright guys, Carlos and I here today with some members of our team, and we’re going to play some fun trivia games.” Charles’ eyes read from the signboard behind the camera, his amusement wholly unscripted as he looks from you to Andrea and back to Carlos.

You honestly don’t know why you agreed to this. It might have been Lewis’ gentle persuasion or your boss’ overenthusiastic persistent voice, or the sleepiness that’s been wearing you down and boggling your mind lately, or—and it’s probably this—the fact that James ghosted you after Spain, because you “clearly have a thing with Sainz, and I don’t wanna be a homewrecker.” Whatever it is, you’re apparently a guest on the C² Challenge segment. 

Today is a trivia game against Charles and Andrea, and you’ve all been given a general guide to what the questions entail—math, music, general knowledge, and one scripted Ferrari question at the end. The structure is fairly basic; each team member gets to answer one at a time, both contributing to overall points—and no coaching allowed, for some odd reason.

Charles is a little shit, so he’s made an off-camera bet: loser should treat winner to a round of shots at the next afterparty/get-together. And—who are you kidding, really—Carlos is also a little shit, so he’s game for the bet and has fired you both up to win, spouting Ferrari trivia in your ear should it come up.

“I got it,” you say snappily when he hasn’t stopped pestering you for five straight minutes. “I got it.”

“Oh, did you got it?” He asks sassily. “Okay. When did Ferra—”

“We’re starting in three,” says the cameraman in Spanish, Italian, then finally English.

He holds three fingers up and you hug your tiny dry erase board closer to your torso, readying your camera smile. The video—and the game—start off well enough, a quickfire competition developing between the two teams that infects you and Andrea quickly. 

“Stay calm and collected,” Carlos proclaims, lips stretched into a proud smile. “Our team motto.” He elbows your side and you roll your eyes with a smile, teasing. 

“I think it’s, ah, always—always cheat, mate,” Charles protests, pointing an accusatory finger. 

“You are soooo—tch, I propose we kick Charles for poor sportsmanship,” retorts your teammate, laughing. The force of his laughter shakes the stool he sits on and you bite back a smile, remaining relatively quiet like you’ve been since the start of the video.

The remainder of the game passes with Carlos and Charles neck and neck, you and Andrea working overtime to make sure your teams don’t lose the bet. Eventually it boils down to one question, which Carlos is in charge of answering. Behind the camera, the producer raises a signboard and reads it out: We all know C². What is eight squared?

What a relief, you think. They’ve basically handed the win to you and Carlos on a silver platter. You wait, bumbling in your seat and raising an L sign toward Charles, who sticks his tongue out in response. Excitedly, you watch Carlos cheer for himself and finish writing, turning the board inch by inch until you all see the answer he has written on it.

Everyone stares. Then: “Team Charles wins!”

“Que?!” Carlos blinks, scandalized and a bit amused. He stares at the question then at his answer then, as if dreading the laser eyes, at you. Your eyes narrow, disappointed.

“Carlos. What is eight squared?”

“Eight squared. Eight, and you take another eight, and—it’s right here.” A tan finger points firmly at the number written messily, square in the middle of the whiteboard.

16

“Eres un tonto,” you quip, remembering bits of teasing you’d used on him years before. “Carlos, it’s 64. Eight times eight, not eight times two.”

“Ay, puta��” He shuts his eyes and laughs. “Lo siento! Sorry, sorry. Sorry! I cost us the win.”

Across you, Charles is coaxing a much more begrudged Andrea into a childish victory dance, pulling his arms up and down to convey the joy of winning. You sigh exasperatedly, but smile . For what it was worth, you had a great game anyway. The noise grows, and you watch the producers pack up, the cameraman parting from the camera for a moment to converse with one of them.

Left alone with you for a bit, Carlos lets his voice slip into a quieter one. “Sorry again. I forgot.”

“Forgot?” Your brows furrow, confused. “What?”

“That, you know”—he points at the lonely 16 on the whiteboard he holds—“it’s supposed to be 64.”

 “Oh.” You laugh, a light sound. “Whaaat?! It’s not that deep, Carlos. Seriously, don’t worry about it. It was all fun.”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” he says softly, smiling.

“Yeah, me too,” you say, unable to hide your smile. You stay like that for a bit, something blooming in the pit of your stomach you can’t—and refuse to—name.

—

You get two days off, and Charles had suggested you all go to Paris before you go to Cannes, where the Ferrari team is apparently expected for a meeting before Monaco. You’re the one who’d said yes first, even if Carlos seemed to hesitate; he had asked why, to which you responded you’d never been before.

You’d read about it, watched about it, and like every other human on Earth, seen pictures of it. But you’d never been to Paris; work placed you mostly in London, sometimes South America, other times Italy. But Paris was never a destination. So Carlos allowed the greenlight and you flew, with Lando, Pierre, and Esteban tagging along for shits and giggles.

“I’ve waited my whole life for my Eiffel Tower moment,” you say, not even trying to hide your wonder. Carlos got the best room for himself, but invited you in, for the view. He doesn’t tell you he went through hell and back to get precisely this room, so you could peek inside and see the tower.

“Well, you’re here now.” He wedges the hotel balcony door open and walks toward the railing. You follow suit, arms crossed over your torso, eyes stuck on the view. “How is it?”

“It’s as beautiful as I imagined it to be,” you confess honestly, eyes still stuck on the tower, the way it stands alone and glittering against the black of night. Cliché as it is, you feel like you’ve checked one huge box off your bucket list, staring at the landmark like it’s going to evaporate into thin air. 

Beside you, Carlos hums in agreement, but his gaze is stuck on something else. “I know.”

“Oh, do you?” You laugh. “Are you in the business of admiring beautiful things?” You tease, looking up at the stars.

Sensing his eyes on you, you slowly avert your gaze until your eyes meet. The light reflects in his eyes, and they meet yours blindingly, beautiful, luring you closer. The joking tone of your words is caught in your throat, desert dry, your lips parted to spout words you’ve now forgotten, lost track of.

Your silhouettes dance against the lights of the city below, two figures admiring the other. His eyes flicker down to your lips, linger there a second too long. You stumble closer, your foot touching his.  “…Paris.” The words struggle to leave but they do, quietly, an admission of guilt. “It’s always reminded me of you.”

 “Not Spain?” He asks, leveling your volume. You’re closer, so close you feel his breath fan soft against your own face. His voice is deep, accented so thickly, the way it is when he talks with you because he falls into a familiar rhythm of knowing you’ll decipher whatever he has to say.

You giggle, a low, breathy sound. A barely there shake of your head. “I… love it so much, is why. Always have.”

Had there been a pedestrian across the street who looked just a few floors upward, they would’ve found the both of you there, smiling foolishly, blanketed by the night sparkles of the Eiffel Tower and the rest of the city. They would’ve seen the way Carlos leaned in, his eyes on yours and then on your lips, the way you nodded in silent, warm invitation. Come closer, you seem to say. Don’t stray any further.

A lock of your hair touches his jaw, from how close you two are. So close. Everything smells like him, like the musky woody perfume he wears, the detergent he uses. All of that, and everything underneath. The scent of him. Just him. 

You hold your breath when you both lean in, eyes fluttering shut and waiting, waiting for his lips to meet yours.

The door shakes with several knocks, Lando’s voice seeping from the other side of it. “Mate, we’re gonna be late for dinner!” He says boredly, letting his fist collide with it a few more times for good measure.

Instantly, you and Carlos separate, both of you clearing your throats, rushed flimsy excuses escaping your mouths at the same time. You’re warm all over, the excitement, the nerves, tapering off into nothing as you walk back inside the room, busying yourselves with anything. Oh, I need to check if Jonathan’s emailed me. Oh, let me go answer the door.

Lando is waiting, expectant, on the other side when Carlos pries the door open. “Mate! Dinner! I texted you like twenty minutes ago and y—oh.” He spots you sitting at one of the lounge chairs in the room, and immediately his brows raise. “Hey, dude. You’re here?”

“Yeah, to, uh—to get Carlos to OK some edits,” you say with a smile, hoping your nonchalance isn’t too shaky. “I needed to get a draft in by three hours ago, so.”

“Oh. Right, obviously.” His eyes narrow a little, but he doesn’t relax much, gaze suspicious and a bit beguiled. “Well, if you’re not busy, we’re having dinner?”

“I’m good,” you decline, a touch too quickly. “It’s getting late.”

“Alright, well it was a courtesy invite, you dipshit,” Lando teases, and everything feels a bit more normal. You just flip him off, and Carlos retrieves his coat, eyes still not meeting yours when you all exit at the same time. Lando makes up for the hole in the conversation, droning on and on about the restaurant they’re going to, and how good it seems to be.

The elevator ride is equally charged, and you spend it humming and interjecting Lando’s words to come across as unfazed, even if you’re so totally not. Once you’re alone you finally let big exhales leave you. You don’t know if it’s from the anxiety of almost being caught, or the anxiety from the kiss unfinished.

—

LOVE the latest draft, Nick & I both. Could we get a deeper angle? Something re: regrets? Would really tie it together! Best, J

“Huh. Do you have any regrets?” You ask, tearing your eyes away from the short email. Next to you, Carlos nods his head slowly. You’re on the beach in Cannes, taking time off before the meeting and people-watching. Charles had joined you for a good half hour before leaving to sleep in the hotel instead, leaving you two to bask in the now setting sun.

“Everyone does, no?” He stretches a bit. The topic is tense. “But yes, I have some specific ones.”

“Like?” You ask weakly.

“I was stupid when I was younger. More immature, more forgetful. You grow older and you think of all the things you could’ve done right, years too late. There’s a proverb I heard once that goes—camarón que se duerme se lo lleva la corriente. It means to—to stay alert. Don’t let things pass you by.”

“And do you think you followed that advice?”

His eyes meet yours. “Do you?”

—

It’s quiet when Carlos walks inside your flat, and already his heart begins to drain, filling with guilt.

He steps over the creaky floorboard, notices your car keys on the table, your jacket haphazardly slung over the rack, your Chanel bag half-open on the dinner table beside an empty wine glass and a sweaty bottle of Cheval Blanc. The bedroom door’s half-open, light bleeding into the dark rest-of-the-place, and when he gently pushes the door to get in, the sight he faces is crushing.

“…Estás bien?”

You face the window, your back to him, in a beautiful, beautiful black dress. Your hair had been up, but it’s unpinned now, falling in loose, messy waves. You hiccup, and then tense. Feigning nonchalance, you croak out, “Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” he says honestly. “I didn’t know the thing was earlier.” His eyes hover to the glass award on the bed, one you’d hoped he would watch you receive tonight.

“I said I’m fine,” you say. “Just”—you sniffle—“it’s fine, Carlos, just get out.”

You’re standoffish, and cold, but Carlos knows you’re incredibly hurt. In an attempt to try and coerce a conversation, he stays. “Let’s have dinner tomorrow,” he suggests in a low voice. “On me. Right? To celebrate.”

“Leave me alone, Carlos.”

“I wanted to go,” he insists. “I had a meeting that ended late, and—”

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” you assert, turning. You’ve clearly been crying hard, your face flushed and shiny, a few rogue tears still on your chin. “Just go.”

“I know how much this mattered to you.”

“And yet you didn’t go.” You sniff, wiping fruitlessly at your face. “Carlos, just…” Your voice sounds thin, heartbroken, worn with pain and real tiredness. 

“Cut me some slack.” Carlos argues softly.

“No, I just… I don’t even know how things got to this point, Carlos. We used to be so much happier. But now, it’s like I have to demand for your time like everyone else does. Now, I—I cook, I plan dinner, I put my own career on the back burner so I can spend more time with you even if I’ve gotten calls, promotions that you don’t even ever… ever ask about, just everything. I don’t think… I don’t feel you love me that way. Care for me, that way. You’ve never shown it, not lately especially.”

“You should’ve told me,” he says, hurt.

“This kind of thing, it…” you shake your head, wiping your clammy hands on the black silk. “It doesn’t need to be said.”

“Let me make it up to you.” He steps closer but you’re quicker, almost stumbling in your rush to avoid him.

“No,” you protest, “just go, Carlos, just go. Get out and close the door.”

“Cariño—”

“Go,” you say, voice hard with contempt. You refuse to meet his pleading eyes. “Go, Carlos.”

So he does.

He passes by, again, your handbag, with the sleek travel-sized bottle of Santal 33 you keep with you always peeking out, and the Cheval Blanc he’d bought you a few months prior, and the jacket you’d bought with his approval almost a year ago. He lingers in his car for a minute, the rain pelting the Golf noisily. 

He drives off, wiping tears from his own face.

And maybe, had he stayed a little longer, he would’ve seen you tearfully emerge from the elevator, into the lobby, then out into the rain, still in your black dress, and let yourself get soaked waiting for him to come back, refusing to believe he’d even let himself leave you so broken.

—

You play Uno to pass the time, your last night in Cannes.

He’s won two games in a row at this point, and you’re almost 100% sure he has a plus four card in his hand, so you play a bit more deliberately, eyeing him with a challenging glint in your eyes. You’re a bit watered down by your earlier conversation, but you feign nonchalance anyway.

Blue 2. Blue 5. Green 5. Then finally, he slaps it onto the deck—a plus four card. “Oh, come on, Carlos,” you say, almost actually irritated.

“I’ll kiss it better,” he says. Suddenly overwhelmed, you push yourself off the counter and storm out.

He follows you, stumbling into the empty balcony and softly shutting the door, voice still colored with laughter. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know you’d be so upset about the—”

You barely hear the rest of his clearly half-hearted, humorous apology. It doesn’t matter to you.

What does matter is everything from the years past crashing on your shoulders like debris, like rain, finally giving under the weight of being so close to him again. Everything. The tangled fog of your relationship, the start, the middle, the terrible end neither of you wanted. You pulsed with want, with yearning, with sadness.

So you ask yourself why? Why? Why? Why couldn’t he have come back? More importantly—why did he let you go so easily?

The truth is, you’ve drowned yourself in work so long you’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel, to be felt. And if Carlos is doing this, all this, all the touching and the tension and the debris and the rain that crash on you like a bruising, torrential storm, for his own pleasure, like this is all a game, then you’ve yearned for nothing.

“This isn’t about the game, Carlos!” It heaves itself out of you in a half-sob, carried by the wind.

He stops—stops walking, stops smiling. Just stops and stares, brows knitted with concern. You refuse to look at him, staring instead at the skyline, arms crossed. The view blurs with tears, lights meshing together prettily.

He stutters your name out in a feeble response. It’s mortifying, the way you start to cry when it leaves his mouth.

You turn then, willing your lips to stop quivering. “Good for you,” you say shakily, “you can—you can fool around, kiss me like it’s nothing, pretend like we never even mattered so you can make jokes about how we’ve ended up here again, back, together.” You inhale, but it’s no use; you’re crying even as you speak. “And I’ll laugh, because it can be funny, you know, fuck it. But… I’m so—”

The wanting shows, in moments like this. Wanting love, wanting comfort, wanting warmth, an escape from work and stress and life. You know how it feels, to be loved. You’d been familiar with it, at some point. You want it again, the ache, the kiss, the pain of it all. More than that, you want him. For just a moment. But all this wanting is so exhausting.

You want this profile to be over. You want to pull him close and tell him how proud you are, but also how hurt you are. You want Spain. You miss Paris. Everything, everything, every memory, every single painful loving thing bursts inside you.

“—tired.” You nod your head, licking tears that have perched on your lip, smiling humorlessly, shrugging. “I’m—I’m tired, and lonely, and being around you makes it worse. Being around you hurts me. It hurts you. This profile was a bad idea, and I should’ve trashed this the moment I learned I’d be covering you. Because I knew then it would’ve turned to shit, and I was right.”

He stares, unmoving. He remembers, too. He’d tell you everything if the words clicked just right. But they never do; they tangle like cotton balls in his throat before he can kneel and name everything he remembers, everything he loved about the two of you. Cariño. Just be mine, tell me everything, tell me you love me.

You wipe a hand over your face. “Let’s just let this go already. You know, we really were good for a while. This… this is maybe just one of those things where we made it in another life, but not this one.”

At his returned silence, you nod, then walk quietly past him and back into the room.

It’s just as empty as you’d left it, dim and lit only by the warm light above the kitchen counter. Your forgotten Uno game lies on the same spot, beside the two empty wine glasses. You stare for a second. Life had been different when he’d lay down his cards just minutes ago.

A coat is tugged from in between couch cushions, your heels from by the door hastily pulled on. Every movement feels heavy, like sandbags are tied to your limbs, your tongue, your eyelids. You turn, one last time, to see the moment suspended in time—and you meet his eyes. Even across the room you feel like you’re drowning in them, dark and solemn. 

“Wait,” he says, and even with just one syllable he’s managed to stop your world from turning again. “You’re right. Everything you said. When I’m around you, I hurt. I’m reminded of how awful I was then. It’s painful to be together.”

Eyes meet, eyes blink, eyes close.

“But you didn’t trash the feature. And I still enjoy your company. You could be covering Rafael Nadal or whoever right now. I could be in a jet to Japan. But you and I are here, are we not?”

Only you. It’s only you.

“I’ve missed you.” It rips through him. “I want to be here with you. I want to make the pain go away, so let me.”

“It’s useless,” you protest, tearily. “This won’t work. I’ll get mad, you’ll get fed up, I’ll get bored, you’ll put work before us.”

“Okay.” He paces toward you, nearer and nearer, closing the distance between you both. “I’ll make it work.”

“Carlos,” you weep, “I don’t know why you don’t get it. Life sucks. And all we get are little moments where things are… are good. So don’t waste the moments like this. Let’s not waste the moments on this.”

“You’re not a waste,” he says—and you crumple into his arms, worn, exhausted.

A knot in your heart is slowly unraveling itself. You’ve waited, yearned for so long, and finally you’re in his arms again, with the kind of quiet resolution only he would understand. You left the lights on for him. You’d do it again, but you don’t have to.

You bury your head in his chest, a chorus of apologies leaving him. I’m sorry, he says. I’m sorry, I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Everything.

I love you, you say weakly. I love you, that’s enough. I waited for this to leave, but all it did was hide. The love has yet to pass. It never will.

—

“Yours really is the best selling one!” Nick pulls you in for a hug. “We have Nadal and CR7 on the roster, but Sainz’s is selling like crazy. Your writing is just—” He kisses his fingers. “You are amazing.”

“You flatter me,” you reply gracefully, letting him pull you into another embrace but prying him off a bit faster. You don’t need another Jonathan-esque freakout in the middle of the room.

The GQ party, six months later, almost a mirror of the fundraiser just a few months ago. Only this time, you’re not tacked onto Lewis, and you’re not buzzing with nerves (as much). You had run into Lewis when you entered, and Charles too, and Lando when he spotted you, but none of them are your plus ones to this event.

Your profile is the talk of the journalism scene. Nobody can shut up about it, and it thrills you, excites you, to be witnessing your work be recognized beside Carlos himself. He brings you a glass of champagne and presses a kiss to your cheekbone, smiling against it.

Neither of you notice Lando and Charles behind you, watching like hawks. The elder cackles, presents his hand like a sacrifice and turns to the Brit. “Aha.What did I tell you, chat?”

“Five hundred euros,” moans Lando, slapping a bunch of bills onto it. “You’re an intuitive prick.”

“Those two are soulmates.” They stare at your foolish figures, smiling like idiots, high-fiving even. “The kind that’ll always, always find their way back to each other. Always.”

Lando shrugs. “Hey, honestly, for once, I’m glad I lost a bet.”

“I look great on the cover,” Carlos says, both of you staring at the screen’s display of it. 

“Shut up,” you smile, interlocking your fingers. “Well, my writing looks great inside.”

“Really does,” he says. “I’m so, so proud of you, cariño.”

“Proud of me?” You tease, staring up at him. “You made the last minute title change that caused fans to go crazy.” You both turn to stare at it displayed on the screen, smiling fondly.

Carlos Sainz—on racing, gracious defeat, and refinding love.

[tabithatwo]

What do you think about the scene in ep1 where Shauna masturbates on her daughters bed while looking at pictures of her boyfriend? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I found it disturbingly similar to younger Shauna sleeping with Jackie's boyfriend

Oh hey, so this response is like perhaps over a year late but someone else asked me about this and I remembered I had 3/4 of this response drafted so hi I’m here now lmao

Anon, I do NOT think you’re overthinking this scene. I actually think there is so much room to think about this scene that a thesis could be written on it. It’s so layered and an incredibly bold choice on the show’s part to include it. It is our introduction to adult Shauna, and I think that the creators of the show clearly felt that it was very important.

This scene made me so uncomfortable as a first time casual viewer that I actually tried to rationalize it away. I remember saying aloud to the person I was watching with “No, that has to be her own childhood bedroom, right? She must be, like, visiting her aging parents?” Clearly I was ignoring the very ridiculous set design of Callie’s room entirely lol, but my mind wanted to find a different explanation. And it took me a while to come around to really loving Shauna as a first time viewer of the show, in part due to how much that scene shocked me.

All that to say, it is absolutely reasonable to find yourself very uncomfortable when thinking about that scene, as many people say that they do when they’re proclaiming that they wish it didn’t exist in the show. But I don’t think that means the scene should be ignored by any means. That discomfort is the point of the scene. Shauna is such a fascinating character, because she swings back and forth from shockingly depraved and cruel, to heartbreakingly kind and loving. She draws both the audience AND the other characters into this unpredictable back and forth with her, and it is easy for us AND them to forget what she is truly capable of when she is in one of her sweeter moments. That is what makes her one of the most fascinating characters of all time to me.

Okay, now we can get into my personal interpretation of this scene. I have always felt it was about Jackie. I think that was clear early on, but, after s2 aired, having more information about Shauna’s relationship with Callie did impact my interpretation of the scene and solidify some suspicions I had.

Shauna clearly does not see Callie as her daughter in any traditional sense. She tells Lottie as much, that she never could fully believe Callie was real and hers. And we see, with increasing clarity as the show goes on, that Shauna views Callie as a peer more than anything. Shauna has both stunted development and difficulty expressing affection. We see her tell Callie that it would’ve been easier if she HAD just had sex with the cop. That’s a very strong indicator of their dynamic. Shauna just doesn’t have the capacity to mother Callie.

That is important context because, with the scene in Callie’s bedroom, Shauna is recreating the thing she used to do when she was young and Jackie was alive. I don’t think she is even thinking about the fact that it’s her daughter’s boyfriend or bedroom, because she doesn’t even really think of Callie as her daughter much of the time. It’s so complex and muddled and, you guessed it, uncomfortable!

In my opinion, people are NOT ready for the intricacies of the ways Callie is a Jackie proxy for Shauna to be developed further. Like the show is establishing it pretty heavily, and I think in a very compelling way, but if it goes down that road more explicitly I have a feeling that people are not going to be able to separate the WAYS in which Shauna sees Jackie in her, if that makes sense.

I think s2 did have some compelling threads of this. Shauna caring for the Jackie corpse doll and getting frustrated and “hurting” her with the ear coming off scene. Shauna not being able to protect her, initiating and endorsing the consumption of her, then hinting at having fears that she’d hurt the baby when she was pregnant, losing the baby, worrying that they’d do to the baby what they did to Jackie, twisting it so much that she can’t help but believe they ate the baby too.

She associated the baby with Jackie very heavily. And in doing so, I think she parentified herself to Jackie in a really fascinating way, like Jackie was her first failure.

If she couldn’t care properly for Jackie, who loved her so much (and became an actual martyr and saint to her), and she couldn’t care for her children who were absolute innocents, then she must be the epitome of horrible and she should squash those caring instincts bc clearly they aren’t actually Good, type shit. That’s how I feel like Shauna spirals into her destructive behavior.

So what happens here, imo, is that Shauna doesn’t really see any of her relationships clearly. I don’t think she consciously thinks of Jackie as The Girl She Was In Love With, and I don’t think she consciously thinks of Callie as her daughter most of the time. Shauna just thinks of them both as people she has loved and failed, as well as people who piss her the fuck off and make her feel trapped in a life she doesn’t want.

She sees a lot of Jackie in Callie, and she acts out in really horrifying ways throughout the entire show to try and gain control, and this scene is one of them. Shauna has always used sex as a way to reclaim control, even when it is absolutely insanely inappropriate, and often when it isn’t at all about actual pleasure. We see more of this in s2, when she BRINGS JEFF TO THE ART STUDIO OF THE MAN SHE KILLED AND FUCKS HIM THERE (that was fucking INSANELY risky and destructive). With masturbating on Callie’s bed, looking at a pic of her bf, Shauna is acting from the same place she was when taking Jeff from Jackie in a way, and I get why that’s uncomfortable to watch. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, it is SUPPOSED to!

But I think that we are viewing it with so much more logic and thought than Shauna is capable of applying. We draw conclusions from it that are based on a sane person, and Shauna is far from that. I think Shauna is briefly recreating multiple feelings and motivations that drove her to sleep with Jeff as a teenager. The sexual side of things is so wholly Jackie driven, she is constantly seeking ways to feel the way she felt when she was creating that proxy sexual connection with Jackie that she verbatim discusses with Jeff (which is so crazy btw not over that scene). But the side that relates to Callie is driven purely by the frustration and anger. Again, I don’t think Shauna has consciously thought about ANY of it, but if I had to interpret the driving emotions, then I think those would be the most likely.

And I think what it says about Shauna is that she is not living in reality in the slightest. You can not overstate the lack of conscious thought that goes into her actions when she does these things. She is acting on pure impulse, and without any certainty that anything is actually real.

She breaks my heart and this convo about the masturbation scene is so interesting to me because YEAH, that was a ROUGH introduction! and it took me rewatches to allow myself to dig into her character and that’s the point tbh.

On instinct, people either see the actions clearly and hate her, or obscure them to the point of forgetting they happened and love her. But it’s much harder to reckon with them and dig in and come out still loving her.

(I truly can’t believe I have to say this, but I was recently introduced to the fact that yj incest shippers exist, so disclaimer: this is NOT meant to be taken as a romantic or sexual interpretation of Shauna and Callie’s relationship at all. In fact, when I say that I don’t think people are ready for detangling the WAYS in which Shauna sees Jackie in Callie this is exactly what I mean. I just assumed people would wrongly assume it was That and be horrified. I didn’t consider the opposite, and I would like to continue not considering the opposite, so I will prob block anyone who engages with this in that way simply bc I do not want to see it and this is my social media lol)

[plutonianeris]

pick a pile: how does this new love feel like a fairytale? ⛓️💗

this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Interpret & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. messages can be either from you, them or both🍒

𓆩♱𓆪Pile one

right off the bat this is someone whose been eyeing you for a while. they could be the type that stare in awe at the pictures you post on social media “so pretty” or when they met you that have that immediate attraction.. “who is that?” lol them asking their friends when you walk in. this honestly feels like a fairytale because theyve been wanting you for a while but theyve been super patient i heard “no hard feelings” theyre actually so sweet (im getting water sign suns: cancer, pisces, scorpio energy oop 🙈).

like they have no problem admiring you from afar at alllll. they are mesmerized by you. and honestly they could have been a little toxic before meeting you (not abusive, but someone unable to share their emotions in a healthy way). it seems like they dont want u to see them in the shades and shadows of their trauma, wounds, healing. for them you are the light at the end of that tunnel. i heard “my day was pretty shitty until you showed up” they are willing to work hard for you. they are also very attractive & in an unconventional way (unique hair, being really tall, tattoos, something like that makes them stand out especially in their friend group).

💌letter from their pov;

I know you dont need me. you dont really look like the type to depend on anyone. I can see it in the way you eye people, especially men, with suspicion. you question my motives and thats fair. when youre that beautiful and charming, theres bound to be people that just want to use you. that are dying to be in you energy just to get the chance to say they were in your presence. i dont wanna be like that. i dont wanna be another read message in your phone. i dont wanna be another face that disappears in the crowd for you. and i know you feel that way too. that the worst thing for you isnt to be talked about. its to be ignored. its to be underestimated. trust me when i say since the moment i laid eyes on you, i never once doubted you. i know you are capable of bringing men to their knees with your eyes. i know that your laugh makes my pulse speed up. i know that you make me feel special. and sometimes i get jealous, wondering if you make other people feel that way too. I want to give you the whole world if you just let me.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile two

this new love feels like a fairytale because this happened in the moment when you’re least expecting it and also after you’re recovering from something. Whether it be a relationship break up with a partner or you just changing things in your life, like moving to a different neighborhood or no longer believing in certain things that were very important in your belief systems in the past. this is like a prince or princess, waiting to rescue you. At first, though it seems like you’re suspicious of this energy. You could find that they are way too good with their words. “too good to be true” “I bet you say that to all the girls/guys” energy. but honestly, it seems like you’re the only one that can keep up with them. You don’t give into them like other people do, and they constantly want to impress you by telling you random facts or teaching you about some thing they learned abroad or when traveling.

I am getting a sense that they are very flirty, but with other people it never goes past that it’s just something they do in the moment or theyre just really playful. But even as they’re talking to someone else, their eyes can’t seem to leave you even if you’re across the room. You like your routine and consistency so changing things about your own life is hard, much less accepting other people in. So when they flirt with you, you might not immediately flirt back. you might roll your eyes, but you can’t help but smile when they turn away. you could be someone with earth placements, especially capricorn or virgo. They give off a lot of mischievous energy. This other person could have a gemini placement, third house placements or ninth house placements (if ur into astro).

💌letter from their pov;

Relationships have never really been a priority for me. I mean, cmon I'm young. Isn't it the whole point to experience as much as I can? I know other people have things to say about me.. maybe I lead some people on. Maybe sometimes you feel that way too. But I promise it's not really like that. Well, with you, it isn't. I'm just inexperienced. And I guess that doesn't really stop me from flirting so much and being so cocky…But the truth is I crave your attention badly. You look like you really know what you want in life. And for me, that's all I ever wanted. Because when you know what you want, you get it. and thats when you really start living. After that, even our mistakes are our own and beautiful and intimate in their own way. I see the weariness in your eyes when you look at me. I know you're wondering if I am even worth your time. I promise I am. I promise I can be. And if I'm not, then you can just never speak to me right then and there, I swear. But I know there's more than weariness in your gaze as well. I know you are just as curious about me as I am about you.

𓆩♱𓆪Pile three

This love feels like a dark romance. This pile is not as lighthearted as the previous two at all. It feels like a fairytale in that "magical" sense though because it will feel like love at first sight. You both will feel immediately physically attracted to the other but what makes it even more intense is that at first no one seems to be able to make the first move. It might seem too good to be true to the point where you don't even wanna disturb the "illusion." You dont wanna burst the bubble. Also, the magnetic attraction you feel/ that slow burn makes it even more desirable for both of you. In synastry, you both might have a lot of conjunctions (especially with pluto, moon, and mars). I also pulled north node synastry as well (and this synastry makes it feel like you're meant to be aka its destiny. but its also uncomfortable). "I have never felt like this before" energy.

Honestly, I see this pile as being able to go both ways and it can easily make you feel heartbroken. You might have venus-pluto placements yourself or 8th house placements or they do. When you are together though, you both hate when other people interrupt. You love your alone time. It feels really good. This pile is all about intense eye contact, glancing down at each others lips, meeting in secret, getting jealous when other people try to talk to the other, hands brushing as you walk but never fully touching. But then devouring each other when alone (if you both end up trusting each other when to get there because, again, one of you or both are hesitating). If you open your heart and learn to trust and communicate in a healthy manner, it could be a life changing connection.

💌letter from their pov;

It feels wrong to fantasize about you the way I do. But I can't really help it. I think about the way your back would feel arched under my palm. your lips on mine, tongues meeting, teeth clashing. I look at your hands and imagine them gripping the sheets at the same time I grip your thighs. It feels wrong that these are things that have crossed my mind since I first met you. sometimes I try to lie to myself. Tell myself that maybe im not really that into you. but its such bullshit. even then, theres the what if. what if. what if. it looks like every odds are against us. we are complete opposites. it might never work. but im willing to take that risk. im willing to bet on us. even if it falls apart. but judging from the way you freeze up when we make eye contact I know its far beyond that. I know you felt it too. the day we met, how you paused. i know that we would love hard. and fall harder. and if it doesnt work out, it would be devastating. and yet, i would still decide to do it all over again. and you would too. life is too short. I dont want us to be a what-if.

[pachimation]

redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

[clockwayswrites]

Danny/Wally, blue, mint

@Luckeykasper

WC: 547

Depending on who and when you asked someone, the Speed Force and Clockwork could be many things to each other: friends, enemies, lovers, brothers, each other, or the very same person. They were both, after all, masters of Time and that had to bring some sort of a connection. On the other hand, they both handled Time very differently from each other which more often brought conflict. Throughout all of their different labels and ever shifting moods one thing was true: the Speed Force and Clockwork were gossiping old biddies about everything and everyone that ever was or would be.

(And, if occasionally, they came together in way that no mortal mind could ever comprehend, well, then that was their business and no one else’s.)

The gossiping old biddies part is what was important in that moment. Not to most people, of course. Most people didn’t have the constitution to be aware of temporal fluctuations, and, even if they had, the current wibbliness of time really only mattered to two people: one Wally West and one Daniel Fenton. Or by other names which might matter more at the moment: Kid Flash and Phantom, the Speed Force’s chosen and Clockwork’s cog, and, most importantly, beloved pseudo-grandsons.

It’s just, the Speed Force sighed, or came as close as a cosmic entity could manage to a sigh, Wally keeps falling instantly for people that he knows are unattainable.

They sounded young right then, like a dramatic teen, and Clockwork unconsciously shifted his form to match. “If they’re unattainable, why does he fall for them?”

Because they’re unattainable. I think he’s afraid to fall for someone he could have because… because of me.

Clockwork snorted. “Isn’t that a bit egotistical?”

The space around them sparked with static. No!

“Really?”

Really! He’s afraid because of what I’ve given him! He’s not simple a person anymore— he’s a cosmic force! The static faded to a sad sputtering and then stopped. All of existence seemed to drag around them. And how often is he going to run into someone who handle that? He’s afraid of trying, my poor boy…

Clockwork nodded in commiseration. His form aged and shifted until he floated hunched over himself. “I see. Danny has become like that as his power has grown. He has pulled away from the living and dead a like. I have concerns about his bonds if it continues.”

The Speed Force jolted, reality spinning in a sudden whirl. That’s it!

“Stop that,” Clockwork ordered, wrenching things back into control with a firm hand. “What are you on about? What silly idea do you have now?”

Danny is cosmic.

“Yes,” Clockwork agreed dryly.

Wally needs someone who understands cosmic! Danny needs someone who has strong ties to the world! Wally’s whole self is saving the world. It’s perfect.

Clockwork actually took a moment to consider the thought.

You know I’m right.

“You’re never right.”

Bitch.

“But,” Clockwork said slowly. The Speed Force buzzed in anticipation. “This might at least be worth a try.”

I told you!

“They can’t suspect it’s a set up though,” Clockwork admonished quickly.

Of course not, too damn stubborn. But… it wouldn’t be too hard to make their paths cross, now would it?

“No,” Clockwork grinned. “No I don’t think that it would.”

---

AN: Okay, so we didn't actually get to Danny/Wally but this idea got in my head and lol. Idk maybe I'll continue this one at some point down the road!