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5 episodes into Deadloch and this show is so much more fun when it isn't trying to pretend like it's not copaganda like genuinely a really fun mystery and executed super well and then the lib-ish politics of the show keep popping in like "hey fuck the gender binary" and "hey queer people don't murder, we get murdered" and "hey our lead is a lesbian cop" and it's like shut the fuck up already my god. like you're bringing up all these issues you're clearly not gonna fucking reckon with because you can't by the nature of the show unless this ends with cops getting abolished in australia so like what are you doing here, you know? like in the first few minutes of episode 1, the lead lesbian cop finds ACAB spray painted on her neighbor's garbage cans and we just haven't gone anywhere with that, it's not like used to critique the system or anything, and her response is just to get it cleaned up. so like. it's just kinda infuriating.
#james talks#deadloch#Michael Schur did this. B99 is a fun show but jesus lord it has done such irrevocable and incomprehensible damage to shows like this.#like i'm not even saying that shows shouldn't reckon with issues like this. it would be irresponsible NOT to but like oh my god guys.#what is the end goal here?#like truly genuinely what are you planning on achieving with these remarks if not to constantly remind the audience—#that the protags are complicit in the oppression of the people who they've been hired to defend and in reality are ineffective & unnecessary#like they're doing a pretty decent job of showing just how bad & broken the system is and that's like kinda cool but at the end of the day—#it's kinda inherent to the genre to be copaganda and your attempts aren't mitigating it.#they're making it worse bc you keep reminding us how woke you are.#i will say though as far as i am aware (my knowledge extends as far as tertiary facts and Jennifer Kent's The Nightingale)—#the representation of First Nations People/First Australian People and the colonizing Australians is actually pretty well done.#like the racial stuff here IS nuanced and interesting. the rest is... distracting at best.#anyway it's a fun show so far and there's a lot of lesbians in here and it doesn't feel particularly TERFy so far so feel free to watch it#the mystery is genuinely fun. i just don't love the constant 'hey we're so woke guys' reminders#anyway cool that it's a show by women with 3 women leads and a majority queer cast of characters that's talking about land back and stuff#like there is fun to be had here but i know by the nature of it that the buildup can't go anywhere or lead to anything so it's just annoying
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Hi!!! This is my first time saying anything here, so yayyy! But I say that one ask from another anon talking about how Dottore had never recorded fragile!reader's voice before and then forgot what it sounds like, and my brain made some jumps and--
I like to think that sometimes, whether when Dottore is just working in the room while reader sleeps (I like to think that he's modified himself enough that he doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans) or if he's also in the bed with you, that sometimes, reader's sleeping form reminds him a little too much of when reader was in a coma. Or perhaps, even worse, and that reader's time had come while he was sleeping/working. Immediately, he has to reassure himself that you're not, in fact, dead, by either going to check their pulse and keeping his hand there longer than it needs to be (what if they die the second he takes it off??) or, if he was closer to them or sleeping with them (in the literal sense), by even just listening to it. And he tries to rationalize it with himself (bc he's so i denial, I already know it) by being like "noooo, i'm not worried!! I'm a great doctor, and I have nothing to worry about!! I'm just... checking for abnormalities!!" as if he isn't just doing it to make sure they're still alive.
Idk, the thought just popped into my head. He's lost them before without a chance of saying goodbye, and he never wants it to happen again, especially if this time they'll be gone for good.
I'd like to think that reader wasn't really aware of it until one night when he was making a little more noise than usual, and they woke up groggily to find him with their ear on their chest, desperately holding onto you as if you were going to die any second. And then the second he realized you were awake, moved off was like "Hello, I'm not doing anything sus whattt"
So now reader knows he does it, but allows it because they think it's kind of cute, but also because they know that he would never admit his fears.
Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I don't know if this actually makes any sense. But slay!!
Thank you for feeding us Dottore content, and I hope you have a good day or night!!
You've known Zandik for a long time. So you are very aware that he has weaknesses. Yes, even though the scholar tried to hide it, his walls would slowly chip away during those late nights spent in the dorm or on expeditions. But Dottore? After you woke up, you wondered if Dottore had any weaknesses. Dottore seemed to be a man of no fear, but perhaps you should have expected that because what would someone as God-like as him have to fear now? He has much power in his grasp, surely there is nothing that could bother him. He's no longer the same Zandik you once knew, and that's okay really, but you just wonder to yourself sometimes. Little did you know Dottore's one and only fear was about you.
Il Dottore considers himself a rational man in every possible subject area. Yes, he does not allow himself to be swayed by anything as irrational as emotion and instead focuses on logic. Whether his final decision is cruel or unethical is not something he cares about. But you... you are the exception. You are the variable he cannot control. And so irrationality is one of the things he despises, swore to himself he'd never be a victim of, but here he was anyway. Succumbing to an irrational mindset is the last thing he thought he'd do.
Often times when Dottore sleeps with you, he doesn't actually sleep. He gets into the bed to appease you, because it brings you comfort, (your words) lays there for a bit until you fall asleep, and resumes his work. He is just far, far too busy to stay. But, nowadays, he finds it even harder than usual to say. Why? Because of his irrational mind, once again. He needs to know that you are alive. Which is a dumb fear really, you're not going to die, you're not going to leave, your body is stable (for now) so there's no need to worry. But he needs to know. He needs confirmation. You know. He really hates that you've done this to him. He hates it. But he can't blame you, only himself, because if he cured you already he would never have to deal with irrationality again.
Dottore is used to the quietness of a human heart, from his experiments of course, clicking his tongue in annoyance from how easily they died and feeling no emotion. But your heart, if your heart stopped... well, his madness would not be transcribed to paper very well, because it would be too hard to describe. But he denies that. And he especially denies it to you. He denies it, so that's why he finds himself counting your heart's beats per minute anyway. But now you know that even the great Il Dottore has a fear and weakness. After all, when it's only the two of you, he is only Zandik, the same man who fell hard for you all those centuries ago. But that's okay. You promised to always be there, even if he doesn't want you to be.
#smooches talks#fragile reader <3#dottore love notes <3#another day another fragile reader angst 😚😚 it's a lifestyle at this point <33#thank YOU for feeding us anon i love this. it totally made sense and was SO GOOD!!#ugh i adore this :(( i love giving villains irrational fears
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I feel like we should go back and find their comments on how gorgeous Darren looked when he wore that "puke green" jacket. I'm sure they're out there somewhere. Funny how it's suddenly hideous bc Mia is wearing it.
I actually thought the same thing so when you wrote this I did go check Abby’s and Mleigh69′s blogs and nothing. No comments about his clothing at all. There were lots of the generic “he looks so sad...my heart is breaking” nonsense and this from Abby.
So I made a promise to myself recently to keep my blog focused on happy things and reasons why I believe in CrissColfer.
But today my heart is breaking and I needed to say something on the off chance that anybody that matters or has control might be listening. Because I feel like I am watching one of the people I admire most in the world being stripped of his soul and I don’t know how much longer I can continue to watch this train wreck. (wash-rinse-repeat) Before I go on, I realize I care way too much about a person I have literally spoken to twice, for maybe, if I include the conversation he had with my friend, 5 minutes in total. But I do. And the reason I care is that Darren has provided me with so much entertainment over the past 5 years and has continued to blow we away with his talent and truly believe, if allowed, the places he will go are limitless. (Oh, well as long as you think he’s limitless than please, speak up, bitch about what you don’t like about his life. He’s listening) And when I feel like his talent has been sidelined and his value as a commodity has become more important, not to mention getting press and PR for his beard, a person whose name would not be known if not for him, I become enraged. So since I woke up at 3 AM (She’s been waking up and checking tumblr since 2015) and made the mistake of checking Tumblr to see if he appeared, I have felt sad and angry. And no this anger is not directed at Darren, I still support him 100% and cannot imagine what it must be like to live his life, it is directed at the people controlling his life and playing games with it. (It’s never directed at Darren. She hates everything he does but it’s never his fault.)
And I want to say to the powers that be, that my voice matters and that I support him regardless of his sexuality. I buy tickets, I saw How to Succeed, A Starkid Show (where literally I was the oldest person without a child), Listen Up (2x), Hedwig (2x), Elsie, Gross Indecency and I have tickets to the Alan Cumming Show in February. Not to mention I have seen every episode of Glee despite the fact that it suffered so much creatively and forced myself to watch AHS to support him. So my voice should be heard just as loud and clear as the hand full of people who will not accept him for anything but straight. (Darren’s life is a choose-your-adventure game and fans get a say. also Abby watched all of glee AND AHS so she gets extra credit).
And last night was a complete and utter failure First, there was NO purpose for him being there (He attended a fundraiser...there was plenty of purpose for him being there) He was not an announced performer or presenter (People actually attend to give their support and money-I know, shocking). Therefore the sole purpose was to place him on a red carpet and once again, remind us that he has a girlfriend (UGH).
And then there was the interview, which could have been worse, but it certainly wasn’t good. Trevor is about youth advocacy, agreed, but about LGBT+ youth and I know Darren knows that and to diminish that is to take something away from the cause. And I know Darren is passionate about this cause. But I am certain he was briefed before the event on how to answer questions and to steer any conversation away that may even hint that he is anything but straight (which I believe completely, the evidence is there based on his words and actions).(What kind of weird dystopian world exists in your head Abby? Who in the world would “brief him” on what to say at an event? He’s a grown man..he decides what he wants to say).
But what is bothering me so much isn’t the charade. If I truly believed that this was what Darren wanted and needed and that it was good for his career, I would keep my mouth shut. B/c he is a 28 year man, and while I may not agree, he is entitled to make the decisions that he feels are best for himself and his career. (But what could he possible do to convince you? There is nothing because you rewrite, belittle, and deconstruct everything he does say to prove you wrong).
But instead, what we are watching is an utter and complete train wreck. We are watching a man, who has not had a project of value to focus on in over 2 months, being paraded from event to event. His eyes are utterly and completely lifeless and void. His smile has become so fake and sad. I don’t see how anyone who is watching this does not see how he is being destroyed. And yes, I know he has a private life, and I am thankful for that, but no matter how amazing that may be (and I agree with many who have said this over the past 12 hours, this is NOT about shipping) he is literally at an event 5 or 6 nights a week, pretending to be a person he is not, generally accompanied by a person I can tell he is not comfortable with.
So to me, last night, was a loss. The only thing that was accomplished is that once again, fans that are invested and truly care about him, have been isolated. (always about Abby. The event was a Trevor Live fundraiser- it wasn’t a loss).
And I do ask the question, why? I do believe the Darren we saw during Hedwig, was the true Darren as much as he can be while maintaining a public persona (including PR and bearding). This was a man thriving, who prouldy wore nail polish, was not afraid to participate in Pride and wear a sticker that said “God Mad Me Perfect” and to make the Col-Fur joke on a nightly basis.
I have to wonder if he was sent to Italy for7 weeks to distance himself from the Hedwig Darren to the Darren PR thinks they need to make money. B/c since his return, the bearding and the PR Darren has been non-stop and it is painful to watch. And it needs to stop.
Darren, I know you troll Tumblr and I know you read these things, I really hope you know that there are so many people who support and love and accept you. And maybe Hollywood is not the place for you right now, but I now Broadway would embrace you with open arms. And yes, I understand there is a contract. And I am not asking for you to reveal the truth or do anything that would be harmful or interfere with your personal life and relationships (regardless of who they are with). But there has to be a way that you can comply with the terms and conditions of that contract without causing serious damage to your mental health.
So I say, Bravo Ricky, Bravo PR, Bravo Fox, Bravo Ryan and Bravo Mia. I hope you are all happy that you are contributing to what I see as the destruction of an incredibly talented, beautiful soul.
Off my soap box, done with my rant, I will try to go back to keeping my blog drama free, but this needed to be said.
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I really really like the "Lance knows he's not getting out alive so he sends Blue away amd no one realizes until they're back at the castle" stories. Would it be too much trouble to to request a fic where the team finds (touch starved possibly?) Lance on some random planet after he's been missing for so long??
So I wrote this out and I was like halfway and tumblr glitched and it didn’t save 😭😭 oh well here we go again. Maybe it’ll be better this time.
XXXXXX
“Watch out!” Pidge yelled as they hurtled down to the planet that was mostly water and tiny bits of land dotted here and there.
It was too late. A rock of some sorts had hit Blue hard. Lance yelped as he went flying out of his seat. He struggled to grab something and pull him back to his chair but never got the chance. His lion lurched through the air hitting something else.
Lance didn’t know something was wrong until he realized he was falling through the air, the ocean right beneath him. He hit it hard with a splash and he couldn’t help but realize that it felt as if he might as well have hit concrete. His whole body stung the way it does when you do a belly flop but 1000 times worse.
Lance thrashed in the water as he struggled to figure out which way was up. He finally came up gasping for air only to find the tail of Blue sinking down into the ocean.
He desperately attempted to call out to Blue and Pidge but only coughed up water instead. He looked around horrified trying to find a place to hold on to or float or anything. His eyes finally rested on a small patch of land.
It wasn’t until then that Lance noticed the water around him turning a dark red. He suddenly felt his side sting more than the rest of his body. He concluded that he must have gotten hit with debris on his was out of the lion or when he hit the water. Whatever it was, it had caused a decent amount of damage.
Lance took a deep breath in an attempt to catch his breath and control the pain. He used all the strength left in him to swim to the tiny piece of land. By the time he got there he was exhausted. He could only barely crawl up the bank just enough to get out of the water before his arms gave out and he sprawled face first into the sand.
The sun beamed down on Lance. His whole body hurt. His right side was in pain and stung from the ocean water getting into the wound and his legs and wrists felt like jelly and he was sure a couple bones were broken from the fall.
Everything around him spun and he bit his lip in a desperate attempt to hold down the bile that was trying to make its way up his throat. He couldn’t throw up now, it would make nothing better.
Lance glanced down at the sand around him that was starting to turn red from the pool of blood that was coming out of his wound. He had to get something to try to keep the blood in.
After a quick glance around he managed to find some long plants that reminded him of seaweed not too far away. Lance forced himself to crawl over to it.
He groaned in pain as he wrapped the seaweed substance around his wound. It hurt like hell the entire time but this was the only way he was going to kind of stop the bleeding as much as possible.
The stinging and throbbing from the wound hurt so badly Lance managed to make himself pass out from the pain.
When Lance awoke he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. A couple minutes? A couple hours? A couple days? The sun looked in the same place but it was an alien planet which meant time worked differently.
The waves had come up far enough to lick his feet in anticipation. “Pidge?” He asked out loud. His voice was raspy and sore as if he had swallowed gallons of salt water. Lance concentrated hard, trying to get a connection with his lion. “Blue… Blue take Pidge. Grab the stuff for the ship and take Pidge.” Lance could feel the faintest growl of protest. “Blue, please… I’m- I’m not gunna- please, just- get her home,” Lance pleaded helplessly. He knew what was going to happen. His head pounded, his whole body hurt and everything around him was spinning. He had lost too much blood and he was sure the wound was infected by now. Once he fell asleep there would be no waking up again.
Lance fought to get through to Blue, to command her to go back with Pidge. She could be hurt or passed out. She needed to get back, she needed to get into a pod. “Please…”
Lance watched as the ocean rose and fell, the smell of salt water filling his nose along with the stench of his blood. Listening to the crashing of the waves helped him calm down. It reminded him of Earth. If he was going to die, he was glad it was going to be back home or at least somewhere that reminded him of home. At least he would be comforted by the ocean.
The last thing Lance managed to see was a large nose coming out of the water with a splash. Then, his connection with blue, along with the rest of the world, faded away.
The next time Lance woke up he was shocked he had woken up at all. The sun was still shining brightly but it had moved positions in the sky. Lance could’ve sworn he had heard the faintest yells. They were coming from the right of him, right? He couldn’t move his head to find out. Not without vomiting at least.
He closed his eyes and listened intently. He could’ve sworn there was something- someone- yelling. “…ance… Lance!”
Lance groaned in response. He felt something shifting the sand around him. A blurry face came into view, blocking the sun.
“Lance, Lance are you okay?” The voice asked. Lance merely moaned is response. “Shit. You’re bleeding. Okay, c’mon, Lance, hang in there. I’m going to pick you up, hold on.”
Lance didn’t have time to process the words as his body was lifted from the sand. Lance groaned as his body protested the movement. Once he was held comfortably in the arms he was finally able to register what was happening. There was something cold on his back. It was holding him up. It felt nice against his hot, sun-cracked skin. The other hand was hooked under his knees to keep him stable.
He could faintly hear his name being called again. He slowly moved his head to look up at the still slightly blurred face. He could make out a mouth moving beneath a black helmet.
“Sh-Shi…ro-“ Lance mumbled.
“Shhh, don’t talk, save your energy. We’re going to get you back to the castle, just hang on, okay?” Shiros said comfortingly. Lance nodded meekly.
As Shiro walked back to the ship through the sand, Lance could feel every movement. Every step sent jolts of pain through his body. Still, Lance was thankful Shiro was there. He wasn’t quite sure how long he had been alone but he was thankful to now have someone with him. Even though he had spent most of his time passed out he had felt so alone the entire time. Now with Shiros arms wrapped around him he felt safe and touched, even if one arm was metal.
Shiro took him back to his lion but Lance had already passed out again by the time they had gotten into it. He didn’t wake up again until he came stumbling out of the cryopod, his body good as new but his mind still needing some more repair.
XXXXXXX
Sooooo I don’t know if this is what you wanted. Bc I got half way through for the second time only to realize that maybe you meant Lance being captured???? But my mind had automatically gone to hurt!lance and dying!lance sooo says a lot about me lmao. Anyways, hope you enjoy! You were my first submission !! 😊😊
#langst#my writing#my story#my post#asks#submission#lance mcclain#voltron legendary defender#vld#takashi shirogane#pidge gunderson#katie holt#blue lion#hurt!lance#dying!lance#stranded#alone#touch starved#angst#angsty#sad#hurt#comfort
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