james-stark-the-writer · 1 year ago
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5 episodes into Deadloch and this show is so much more fun when it isn't trying to pretend like it's not copaganda like genuinely a really fun mystery and executed super well and then the lib-ish politics of the show keep popping in like "hey fuck the gender binary" and "hey queer people don't murder, we get murdered" and "hey our lead is a lesbian cop" and it's like shut the fuck up already my god. like you're bringing up all these issues you're clearly not gonna fucking reckon with because you can't by the nature of the show unless this ends with cops getting abolished in australia so like what are you doing here, you know? like in the first few minutes of episode 1, the lead lesbian cop finds ACAB spray painted on her neighbor's garbage cans and we just haven't gone anywhere with that, it's not like used to critique the system or anything, and her response is just to get it cleaned up. so like. it's just kinda infuriating.
#james talks#deadloch#Michael Schur did this. B99 is a fun show but jesus lord it has done such irrevocable and incomprehensible damage to shows like this.#like i'm not even saying that shows shouldn't reckon with issues like this. it would be irresponsible NOT to but like oh my god guys.#what is the end goal here?#like truly genuinely what are you planning on achieving with these remarks if not to constantly remind the audience—#that the protags are complicit in the oppression of the people who they've been hired to defend and in reality are ineffective & unnecessary#like they're doing a pretty decent job of showing just how bad & broken the system is and that's like kinda cool but at the end of the day—#it's kinda inherent to the genre to be copaganda and your attempts aren't mitigating it.#they're making it worse bc you keep reminding us how woke you are.#i will say though as far as i am aware (my knowledge extends as far as tertiary facts and Jennifer Kent's The Nightingale)—#the representation of First Nations People/First Australian People and the colonizing Australians is actually pretty well done.#like the racial stuff here IS nuanced and interesting. the rest is... distracting at best.#anyway it's a fun show so far and there's a lot of lesbians in here and it doesn't feel particularly TERFy so far so feel free to watch it#the mystery is genuinely fun. i just don't love the constant 'hey we're so woke guys' reminders#anyway cool that it's a show by women with 3 women leads and a majority queer cast of characters that's talking about land back and stuff#like there is fun to be had here but i know by the nature of it that the buildup can't go anywhere or lead to anything so it's just annoying
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satansapostle6 · 5 months ago
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Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy
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Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.
Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.
Chapter Two
Chapter Three: Unbreakable
Jealousy, Lorelei knew, was an interesting thing, especially among young people. Lorelei never quite understood the feeling of envy. She’d felt it before, sure. Whenever she saw a happy family, or a sane girl. But envy never drove her into madness the way it did others.
Her friend Pansy, for one, was a person driven by envy. Of others, and of the person she thought she was, or could be. Pansy was the kind of person who needed to be completely in control of her entire world, whether that was an attainable goal or not. She achieved that goal, mostly, through Daphne, and her other pawns. Even Lorelei at times, when Lorelei found herself indifferent to the outcome of Pansy’s endeavors.
Lorelei was friends with Pansy despite hating her. Not because she wasn’t strong enough to outshine her, but because she was smart enough not to want to.
“Hey, Pans,” Lorelei said as she sat down for breakfast that morning. “Daphne.”
Daphne looked up at her and just smiled, unbothered. Pansy, on the other hand, visibly had some sort of agenda.
“Morning, Lor,” Pansy remarked, sounding far too chipper to be genuine.
Lorelei sat down in peace, not paying Pansy any more mind as she began to put together a decent plate, of bread, and eggs, and potatoes.
“That’s a lot of carbs,” Pansy remarked, in a thinly veiled attempt to make her self conscious.
“Yes,” Lorelei agreed, “Some of us can eat them.”
Daphne immediately looked down at her plate, stifling a giggle.
“I feel like I hardly see you these days,” Pansy tried a new approach. “You’ve been spending all your time with Theodore Nott lately.”
“We have fun,” Lorelei responded, prompting Daphne to raise an eyebrow in amusement.
Daphne seemed accepting of the vague response, however, Pansy wanted more details. Naturally.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she inquired nosily.
Lorelei just smiled as she ate her food. “What I said.”
*****
Lorelei and Theo decided that, on this particular Saturday, they would enjoy themselves on the school trip to Hogsmease, spending the entire time holed away in The Three Broomsticks, in a secluded booth dimly lit by the ambient lighting in the pub.
“Two Butterbeers, please,” Theo said graciously as a waiter took there order.
Lorelei watched with suspicious narrowed eyes as he walked away, refusing to speak until she knew for certain he was out of earshot.
“So,” she said softly.
“So,” Theo echoed enthusiastically.
“What was it you wanted to talk about?” she asked him. “Must be something important if we couldn’t discuss it at school.”
Theo smiled almost triumphantly as he looked at her, sharing his vision. “I have a plan.”
Lorelei raised an eyebrow. “You have a plan?”
“I do,” he shared. “A big one.”
“How big?” Lorelei asked mischievously. “Like, ‘surprise party’ big?” she asked facetiously.
“More like, eternal glory big,” Theo smirked.
Lorelei secretly liked Theo’s smirk, the way it always made him look as if he was in on some big secret that no one else was. It made him look like someone truly important, someone that belonged on her arm.
“‘Eternal glory’?” she questioned. “Don’t tell me you want us to enter the tournament, too.”
“No. Something better,” he replied.
“Do tell,” Lorelei encouraged, just as the waiter appeared with their drinks.
She sipped hers eagerly, awaiting his response.
“What if I told you…”
Lorelei frowned as Theo suddenly stopped, eyes slowly trailing off to the right, a sour expression on his face as if he’d found out something unpleasant. Lorelei looked at him inquisitively, silently trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Theo just looked at her, a pleasantly surprised smile on his face as the conversation suddenly changed gears.
“…That… I would like to invite you to my family’s winter home over the break?” he concluded.
The linger of his gaze and the thickness of his voice told Lorelei that this wasn’t what he had actually wanted to discuss. He was lying. And she knew that if he was suddenly lying, the reason why had to be something very interesting. Someone was eavesdropping, Lorelei could tell.
“I…” she thought for a moment as she tried to consider the best possible course of action. “I’d have to think about it,” she told him, conveying her consciousness to him with her eyes.
“Of course. Just think about it,” Theo told her, his hand slowly creeping over hers as he spoke.
Evidently, his lie wasn’t entirely a lie.
“I will,” Lorelei promised, her face now inches from his.
Suddenly breaking this trance-like eye contact, she picked up her drink, taking a sip as they sat together in the booth, Theo wrapping his arm around her. They stayed in the pub for another hour or so, keeping themselves entertained with casual conversation until they decided it wasn’t suspicious to leave.
Theo got up first, chivalrously offering a hand to Lorelei. She grinned, knowing what came next. He gave her a nod and she reached into her pocket, drawing her wand along with him. He slowly touched a finger to his lips, indicating a need for stealth. She slowly followed him around the wall behind their booth. Using his fingers, he counted down from three, and once he got past one, Lorelei grabbed the only person listening on the other side of the wall.
Lorelei pushed the Hogwarts student, a younger Slytherin boy, against the wall as Theo kept his wand on him. No one saw as they disappeared behind a wall with him, where no one could see. Lorelei stood at Theo’s side, wand aimed as they both cornered him.
“What’s your name?” Lorelei demanded.
“Thomas,” the Slytherin boy whimpered.
“Thomas what?”
“Thomas Arnold,” Thomas mumbled.
“Who sent you to spy on us, Thomas?” Theo asked calmly.
The second year boy was shaking, terrified of the both of them. “N-No one!” he stammered, looking back and forth between them.
He was panicking trying to respond to them.
“Don’t lie to us,” Theo told him, “It wouldn’t be a smart move.”
He jammed the walnut wood wand into the boy’s Adam’s apple, relishing in the power he held.
“Tell us who sent you to spy on us, or we make you wish you had,” Lorelei threatened him.
She knew that Pansy had to have been involved. With her suspicion and nosiness surrounding Lorelei’s newfound friendship with Theodore Nott, there was no ways she couldn’t have been behind his. Very few people would bring genuine children into the mind games that they played. The boy was paralyzed with fear, unable to speak as Theo took a calculated risk and lost his patience.
“Cruc—”
Lorelei looked at him curiously, just as Thomas stopped him before he could finish casting the illegal curse.
“Stop! Wait! I’ll tell you,” the twelve year-old promised, terror in his eyes.
Lorelei smiled, pleased with their work. “Tell us, then, before he casts that curse.”
“You promise nothing’ll happen to me?” Thomas pleaded.
“After we’re done with you? No,” Theo said honestly. “But for now? Yes.”
The young boy nervously looked between the two of them again, realizing Theodore had made a valid point. Lorelei was growing impatient, just itching for the name ‘Pansy Parkinson’ to fall out so that they could send him running back to her.
“It was Draco Malfoy!” Thomas Arnold blurted out, choking on his own cries, “Please! Don’t hurt me!”
Lorelei and Theo slowly turned to look at one another, hiding their surprise.
“Well,” Lorelei scoffed indignantly. “Here’s what’s going to happen. Are you listening?”
Theo smirked as she intimidated the boy to the point of tears.
“Yes, I’ll do anything! I promise!” he begged.
“You go and tell Malfoy that you didn’t hear anything, and that you don’t think we’re planning anything,” she ordered.
“Yes! Yes, I will!” Thomas nodded, swearing up and down that he would obey.
“Make the Unbreakable Vow to me,” Theo interrupted, his blue eyes darkening.
Thomas practically went white as a sheet, terrified for his life.
“The—The what?” he gasped.
“The Unbreakable Vow,” Theo repeated, rolling up his sleeve.
He looked to Lorelei.
“Can you cast the spell?”
“Sure,” she agreed, cherry-colored wand drawn.
“You’re going to make the Unbreakable Vow to me, pledging that you’ll tell Draco Malfoy nothing that you’ve heard, and that you’ll do your best to convince him to stop tailing us. And if you break it… you’ll drop dead. Do you understand me?” Theo asked.
Thomas nodded quickly, a look of fear in his eyes as he realized the consequences of breaking the vow.
“Do you know how this works?”
He nodded.
“Good. Now give me your right arm.”
Lorelei watched as they joined hands, each right hand tightly gripping the other’s. She focused her attention on casting the spell necessary to invoke the Unbreakable Vow, watching as a shimmering cord joined them together. She cleared her throat, staring the young boy in the eyes as she reminded him of the gravity of the situation.
“Thomas Arnold. Do you vow to return to Draco Malfoy and tell him nothing of what you heard here today?” she began.
“I will,” the blond-haired Slytherin boy agreed.
“And do you promise that you will do your best to convince him to give up on his spying on us?” she concluded.
“I will,” Thomas stared at her, silently pleading for his life.
“Very well then,” she said softly, as the cord slowly disappeared.
Thomas pulled his arm away immediately, rubbing it as if he’d been injured. “Can I go now?”
Theo rolled his eyes cruelly. “Get out of my sight before I change my mind.”
He and Lorelei watched as he ran away, eyes trained on him like hawks.
“What business would Malfoy have trying to spy on us?” Theo thought aloud.
“Surely he must suspect we’re hiding something,” Lorelei rationalized. “I suppose he wants to know what it is.”
“Maybe,” Theo considered, still seeming miles away. “Maybe…”
Lorelei searched his strangely perfect features for answers. Theo eventually noticed, seeing the sheer will in her eyes.
“You know, I like the way we work together,” he said more softly, his hand caressing her face.
Lorelei smiled at the remark. Her gaze, he thought, could have brewed storms and sunk ships. She was a siren, equal to her namesake.
“I feel as connected to you as I do my right hand,” he murmured. “You’re quick. Smart.”
“You’re good at this, you know.”
“Good at what?” Theo asked with a smile.
“War,” she chuckled.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Theo asked softly.
Lorelei looked at him incredulously, her mouth curling into a hidden smile. “Yeah.”
“Who?” he wondered.
“You wouldn’t believe me,” she told him, watching as he laughed. “Have you?”
He just shook his head earnestly. “No.”
She found this answer only somewhat surprising. Theodore Nott really was one of the easiest boys to fall in love with.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked gently.
Lorelei nodded, hand cupping his cheek. “Yes.”
He smiled as he leaned in, captivating by her porcelain skin and auburn curls.
-
Chapter Four
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aleksanderscult · 11 months ago
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But it started off as manipulation right? So exactly at which point did the feelings develop?
Oh yeah! It definitely started as a manipulation, just like he planned for years.
But I can't tell you at which point his feelings developed because I believe they were growing little by little. With each of their meetings his feelings became stronger to the point that he realized their existence and he panicked. Because a) he hadn't felt this way before for years b) it wasn't part of his plans. So it fucked up his schemes.
"Love getting in the way?? Fuck no." (The Darkling probably at some point).
Let me show you.
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She's so cute please-- 😭😭🫶🫶🥺👉👈
And he probably found that comparison funny and wholesome, too.
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Her comments, her sarcasm in general, the informal way that she addresses him was something entertaining and a pleasant surprise to him. Most Grisha would talk to him like "Yes, I've heard of it, sir", "I know, moi soverenyi."
And we have Alina being like "Yeah find the stag but do it fast, okay?"
She has a very natural and expressive way of speaking and she's very spontaneous and witty with her remarks. That must have felt like a breath of fresh air to him. Something new, strange but still enjoyable.
The more he was talking to her, the more he liked that and her. A girl unlike any other he had met, not only because of her powers but also because of her character.
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Here he tried to redirect the conversation in order to make her feel better. But still he liked that comment.
She's a newly-discovered Grisha that talks about midnight picnics to the second most powerful man in the country. And the most feared. (She's a sweetheart ❤️)
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I bet all of my money that this question of his is genuine. She's always truthful and honest in a funny way that takes him by surprise. He never knows what she'll say next.
(RANDOM BUT THESE MOMENTS WHERE THEY'RE SMILING AND LAUGHING TOGETHER MAKE ME GIGGLE AND SHIT)
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So. After he spent some time (a few minutes actually) to get to know her, he developed feelings little by little. Many say that this moment here is another one of his manipulation techniques. Personally, anon, I don't see it.
Okay, yeah, he feigned a troubled look. So what? If it's manipulation what he could achieve with it? Show to Alina that he doesn't feel alright? If he truly wanted to manipulate her here why didn't he stay longer? Compliment her, say sweet words to her, play with her insecurities.
But no.
I think here it's the first time he realized there's something wrong. He felt something else besides amusement. Something he neither anticipated nor wanted. And I'm sure that, if he could, he would rip out that feeling. Because, like he said, it makes him weak.
Oh! By the way, let's not forget this iconic Alina moment.
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Legendary.
She said that in front of a powerful group of Grisha and the man that leads them for centuries. A Grisha that is terrifying to everyone around the world. Just imagine what the Darkling thought when he heard that comment of hers LMAO (I CAN ONLY IMAGINE).
So, to sum up with this, I think he fell for her gradually instead of instantly (unless Bardugo releases his POV of their first meeting and we find out something else there 👀👀). I don't think the Darkling would ever call himself "in love" with Alina. Nope. Not a chance. He isn't that kind of person. But he would admit it to himself in another way. Begrudgingly. But he would. (Like in RoW when he said: "Because with her he was human again". He has his own way of admitting something).
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lilythehopelessromantic · 1 month ago
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Surround Yourself with Those Who Ignite Your Passion, Elevate Your Spirit, and Sprinkle Joy into Your Everyday Moments
In a world bustling with responsibilities, commitments, and the relentless pace of modern life, it’s easy to lose sight of the things that truly matter. Often, we find ourselves caught in the grind, juggling multiple tasks while forgetting to nurture the relationships that bring us happiness and inspiration. However, one of the most profound ways to reconnect with our true selves and unleash our potential is by surrounding ourselves with remarkable souls who ignite our passion, elevate our spirit, and sprinkle joy into our everyday moments.
The Power of Connection
Human beings are inherently social creatures. The connections we foster can deeply influence our emotional well-being and overall outlook on life. When we surround ourselves with individuals who genuinely lift us up and challenge us to pursue our dreams, we naturally begin to thrive. These remarkable souls instill a sense of purpose, encourage creativity, and remind us of the beauty and magic in the world around us.
Finding Your Tribe
So how do we find these uplifting individuals? It starts with self-reflection. Consider what ignites your passion: Is it art, music, entrepreneurship, or perhaps activism? Seek out communities, clubs, or workshops where you can meet like-minded individuals who share your interests. Attend local events, join online forums, or simply reach out to those who inspire you, whether through social media or mutual acquaintances.
Remember, it’s not just about quantity but quality. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to think bigger, who celebrate your victories, no matter how small, and who provide a safe space for you to express your thoughts and ideas.
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In a world filled with noise and distractions, it’s essential to curate a circle that elevates your spirit. Engage with individuals who encourage self-growth, self-compassion, and resilience. These are the people who remind you during difficult times that it’s okay to stumble, and they help you see the lessons hidden within each setback. They show you that failure is a part of growth, and encourage you to rise again—stronger and wiser.
Moreover, these relationships should be mutually beneficial. It’s essential to be that friend who uplifts others too. When we connect on a deeper level, offering our support and encouragement, we build a network of love and acceptance that fosters growth for everyone involved.
Sprinkling Joy into Everyday Moments
Life is made up of a tapestry of everyday moments. The laughter shared over coffee, the comforting words during tough times, the spontaneous adventures that leave us breathless—these are the moments that sprinkle joy into our lives. Surrounding ourselves with people who celebrate these small joys allows us to cultivate a life rich in happiness and contentment.
Take the time to create experiences that nurture joy. Plan spontaneous outings, celebrate achievements (big or small), and create traditions that celebrate your relationships. It’s not about grand gestures but rather the simple, consistent acts of love and appreciation that create lasting memories.
The Takeaway
Surrounding yourself with those who ignite your passion, elevate your spirit, and sprinkle joy into your everyday moments is not just a feel-good cliché; it’s a powerful approach to living a fulfilling life. Your environment shapes your mindset, influences your mood, and ultimately determines your path. By curating a supportive and inspiring circle, you equip yourself to pursue your passions boldly, cultivate resilience, and embrace joy in every facet of your life.
As you navigate this journey, remember to stay open to new connections, cherish the bonds you already have, and actively contribute to the joy of others. By doing so, not only will you light the way for yourself, but you’ll also inspire those around you to shine brightly too. Surround yourself with remarkable souls, and watch how your life transforms into an extraordinary adventure.
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filliptechmi · 6 months ago
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Dr. Abhijeet Jha: Your Favorite Doctor the Best Dermatologist in Patna, Bihar.
Taking care of your skin is not just about looking good; it's about feeling confident and healthy. Finding the best dermatologist in Patna, Bihar, can make all the difference in your skincare journey. Dr. Abhijeet Jha stands out as a trusted name, known for his expertise, compassionate care, and commitment to helping you achieve radiant skin. Let's explore why Dr. Abhijeet Jha is the top choice for dermatological care in Patna, Bihar.
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Expertise and Experience: A Trusted Leader in Dermatology
Dr. Abhijeet Jha is more than just a dermatologist; he's a leader in the field of dermatology. With years of experience and a solid educational background, including specialized training and board certification, Dr. Jha brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to his practice. Patients can trust in his ability to diagnose and treat a wide range of skin conditions, from common issues like acne and eczema to more complex concerns.
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What truly distinguishes Dr. Abhijeet Jha as the best dermatologist in Patna, Bihar, is his patient-centric approach to care. He takes the time to listen to your concerns, thoroughly assess your skin, and develop personalized treatment plans tailored to your unique needs and goals. Patients appreciate his compassionate bedside manner, clear communication, and genuine commitment to their well-being.
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In Conclusion: Choose Dr. Abhijeet Jha for Exceptional Dermatological Care
In conclusion, Dr. Abhijeet Jha emerges as the best dermatologist in Patna, Bihar, offering comprehensive, patient-centric care backed by expertise and advanced technology. Whether you're dealing with a specific skin concern or seeking cosmetic enhancements, Dr. Jha's clinic provides the ideal setting for achieving radiant, healthy skin. Trust in Dr. Abhijeet Jha to be your partner in skincare, guiding you towards confidence and beauty with every visit.
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chiropractorsinnorthlakes · 7 months ago
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Chiropractors in North Lakes
In the heart of North Lakes, where the gentle hum of community life intertwines with the tranquility of nature, you'll discover a sanctuary of healing tucked away amidst the suburban charm. This haven isn't your typical clinic; it's a place where skilled hands and compassionate hearts come together to bring relief and restoration to those seeking solace from the burdens of discomfort and pain. Imagine a place where the worries of the world melt away as you step through the doors, greeted by warm smiles and a sense of serenity. This is the world of chiropractic care, where dedicated professionals work tirelessly to alleviate ailments and restore balance to the bodies and minds of their patients.
These chiropractors in North Lakes aren't just ordinary healthcare providers; they're like wizards of wellness, wielding their expertise to unlock the body's innate ability to heal itself. From teenagers nursing sports injuries to adults grappling with the strains of everyday life, these chiropractors possess the knowledge and skill to cater to a diverse range of needs. But what truly sets them apart is their holistic approach to health, recognising that true healing encompasses not just the physical body but also the mind and spirit.
Step into their clinic, and you'll find yourself enveloped in an atmosphere of tranquility and compassion. The air is filled with the soothing aroma of essential oils, and the gentle murmur of peaceful music washes away the tensions of the day. As you sit down for your consultation, you're met with genuine care and attention from the chiropractor, who takes the time to listen to your concerns and craft a personalised treatment plan tailored to your needs.
Chiropractic care isn't just about cracking bones and adjusting spines; it's about restoring harmony to the body's intricate systems. Through a combination of gentle adjustments, therapeutic exercises, and lifestyle recommendations, these chiropractors in North Lakes help their patients achieve optimal health and well-being. Whether you're seeking relief from back pain, neck stiffness, or headaches, they have the tools and techniques to address your concerns and set you on the path to recovery.
But perhaps the most remarkable aspect of chiropractic care is its focus on empowering patients to take charge of their own health. Instead of simply treating symptoms, these chiropractors educate their patients about the underlying causes of their discomfort and equip them with the knowledge and tools they need to prevent future issues. It's a partnership built on trust and collaboration, where patient and practitioner work together towards a common goal: achieving lasting health and vitality.
As you leave their clinic, you can't help but feel a sense of gratitude and optimism. The aches and pains that once plagued you now seem like distant memories, replaced by a newfound sense of freedom and vitality. You walk out into the world with a spring in your step, knowing that you've taken a proactive step towards a healthier, happier life.
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https://www.northlakeschiropractic.com.au/
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aquabluservices0 · 2 years ago
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Selecting the Best Residential Contractor in San Antonio
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cancerjupiter · 4 years ago
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🌱earth moons🌱
Those with earthy Moons react in a very grounded, matter-of-fact way. The reaction may be so self-contained in those with Taurus or Capricorn Moon, in fact, that others may wonder if there has been any reaction. Those with Virgo Moon, on the other hand, react rather quickly, mentally, and sometimes nervously to any stimulus in a way obvious to everyone, even if the person is trying to contain his or her emotional reaction. Just like the earth itself, those with an Earth Moon have a crust over their emotional reactions; and they prefer to present a certain form to the public rather than to reveal their vulnerabilities.
taurus moon
The Moon is extraordinarily happy in the comfortable, stable sign of Taurus, for the emotions are steady and the person has little self-doubt. Those with the Moon in Taurus are not easily perturbed, even by powerful attacks or shocking events that would strongly affect others. They are in fact amazingly resilient, bouncing back from any defeat, disappointment, or trauma. Perfect examples are politicians Bill Clinton and Joe Biden, and celebrities Demi Lovato and Lindsay Lohan; who, despite unmerciful attacks, still manage to have their shit together and maintain at least some degree of popularity.
The poise with which Taurus Moon people face life’s demands and unpredictability is remarkable, and they therefore have a steadying influence on others, who appreciatively value their reliability. Note that I said “reliability,” not necessarily readiness! This sign is known for being the slowest in the zodiac, moving actively only when they are good and ready and insisting on their own pace in everything they do in life. Their inner contentment and resistance to change can thus make them frustrating to deal with if their considerable stubbornness causes them to dig in their heels to resist what you want. The other side of the coin is their remarkable persistence when they are focused on attaining a certain goal.
Those with Taurus Moon are attuned to the rhythms of nature and the earth, and this gives them their particular pace of life and much of their strength. They are notably physical and sensual, and have a great need for the “pleasures of life.” And they insist on taking the time to enjoy them. This unique attunement leads to a trust in earthly life that enables them to accept others with few demands and to take life as it comes. They are pleased with life (generally) and rather pleased with themselves. This can of course result in smugness, conceited self-satisfaction, and self-indulgent laziness. As Grant Lewi wrote, the key to improving oneself for Taurus Moon is to “turn self-satisfaction into active self-confidence”.
Emotionally, those with this Moon sign are not at all cold, but neither do they readily reveal their feelings. They are good listeners and are usually warmly responsive and solidly supportive, but not gushingly effusive. They really prefer not to allow anything to affect them. Some comments from questionnaire responses add additional perspectives to this lunar type:
1. “Seems very positive, giving men good relationships with women. It also appears to give talent in crafts such as cooking and other home arts.”
2. “ … sensual, heightened sense of material/physical aesthetics (e.g., clothing, home, colors, etc.), wonderful sense of humor, stubborn, and sometimes impervious to what’s going on beneath the surface of things.”
People with the Moon in Taurus like to be touched, especially to be hugged. Also, I’ve noticed a certain resistance to change. This resistance ranges (in different people) between a reluctance to accept the moods of another and a reluctance to allow any out-of-the-ordinary spontaneity to enter their life (usually hate surprises).
virgo moon
Those with Virgo Moon need a sense of order in their own minds and in the environment to feel comfortable and secure. This leads to their instinctive analytical reaction to all life experience, sorting their perceptions and thoughts into categories and discriminating between them according to their personal principles or prejudices. This need for order also motivates their obsession with neatness and cleanliness. They likewise feel more secure by making definite improvements in their environment, in their scientific, artistic, or intellectual pursuits, or—something not always appreciated with this sign—in other people. In fact, as one woman wrote in a questionnaire, “Sometimes they can be busybodies, putting others’ lives in order with advice—usually not so tactful. They’re so busy organizing friends’ lives that they forget about their own”. This “workaholic” tendency can also manifest as a broad range of criticism from afar directed even at total strangers who, evidently, just don’t measure up to the Virgo level of perfection.
Being helpful makes them feel better about themselves and aids them in overcoming their habitual self-doubt and sense of personal imperfection. In fact, “perfectionism” is a keyword for Virgo, and their unavoidable awareness of their own imperfections leads often to excessive self-consciousness, sometimes of a type so severe as to render them unable to use their genuine gifts with any confidence. Their tendency to notice the imperfections of others, and to voice those observations far too often, frequently makes the other person feel uncomfortably and unproductively self-conscious. Those with Virgo Moon would do better to heed their deep need to serve and to help others or improve things in the outer world. By doing so, they can eventually gain a sense of having improved themselves—at least in the modest way they will allow themselves to acknowledge. Virgo is the most modest sign in the zodiac—one of the few, in fact. Virgo Moon people can seem shy and reserved.
Habitually nervous types with a tendency to worry, Virgo Moon people often find their personal tranquility and self-validation in work and compulsive “busyness.” Work also provides an escape from the unpleasant emotions or depressing feelings of guilt or worthlessness that so often afflict those with this Moon position. But, because emotions interfere with productivity, as Donna Cunningham points out in Moon Signs, they are conveniently put aside or suppressed in the routine of daily life. Hence, Virgo Moons are among the few people who love all kinds of petty, boring activities — even housework. A friend with this placement even admitted to dreaming about being a mother/grandmother, so she could do chores and serve her family all day (of course, she’s also a Cancer Rising).
Doubt and skepticism pervade their mode of thinking and reacting, and of course there is always something to criticize in any person, place, thing, or concept. The infinitely small is always available as a target! This constant mental tension and the sensitivity of their nervous system, and their hyper-attunement to hygiene and purity, make these folks fascinated by and eager for involvement in the areas of nutrition, biological sciences, natural therapies, the healing arts, and/or the medical professions. This natural affinity also, however, bends them toward hypochondria, at its worst, or at least to a sensitive digestive and/or intestinal system. The quality of the food they eat is of utmost importance, since it directly affects their nerves and mental state, not just their digestion.
Their talent for detailed work is without equal (except for those with certain other planets in Virgo), and they often get great satisfaction from employing their natural craftsmanship in the practical or fine arts. Because their mind can always find something wrong with any idea or plan, indecision often afflicts those with this Moon placement. Moral indecision as well is often observed, as their perfectionist and puritanical tendencies battle with their more practical or sensual needs.
capricorn moon
Those with Capricorn Moon, as is also the case when other major planets or the Ascendant are in Capricorn, seem unnaturally old and serious when they are young, but they can lighten up as they grow older. In their youth, they are unusually capable, disciplined, and conservative, taking the well-trodden path to their goals of worldly achievement or to follow a vocation. Their real confidence is late-blooming, as their sense of inner security develops over time and they feel that their age at least, if not their accomplishments, has earned them some respect they have always craved. Capricorn Moon people eventually learn to relax somewhat and to trust life and other people to a greater extent. The aura of melancholy that those with Capricorn attunement so often carry around with them can also slowly dissipate over time, sometimes helped by a more and more adventurous—but dry—sense of humor.
The fluctuating, responsive, emotional Moon is not at all naturally comfortable in a sign that is often rigid and distant, and prides itself on not revealing any sign of vulnerability or personal need. People with Capricorn Moon have instinctive reactions to life that are characterized by self-control and caution, and sometimes by a defensiveness or negativity that is almost shocking. They feel that they need to manipulate and control the world (and their feelings) in order to attain the power, authority, and recognition that they deeply desire. In fact, they are most secure within themselves when their identity is confirmed by a social role, title, specific duty, or mantle of authority. Even at an early age, Capricorn Moon people are comfortable assuming responsibility and feel perfectly at home in the role of provider, protector, or organizer. They are most relaxed and truly themselves when they are carrying some weight, or when others have to depend on them! Very hardworking, these folks share with Virgo first place on the list of people who absolutely love to work, which often ultimately results in professional success. They may not always be fun, but they will often get the job done.
Perhaps the most oppressive thing about this group occurs in those who become too obsessed with being recognized as important and having authority; sometimes, there is a persistent “one-upmanship” that pervades their personal and professional lives. The constant drive to be “on top” can cripple their capacity for any human intimacy and eliciting automatic distrust from others. As psychologist-astrologer Glenn Perry, Ph.D., wrote,
“The tight controlled responses often lead to loneliness and despair as it prevents the individual from flowing and responding to the changing mood of others. Moon in Capricorn nurtures by taking charge and giving orders. This dry mechanical approach to feelings is not sympathetic and tends to imply that the other is incompetent. Unable to respond directly to emotional needs, Moon in Capricorn gives the impression of being callous, hardened and unaffected by the tender side of life. (Aspects magazine, Fall 1981)”
If the emotional suppression and denial become chronically extreme and rigid, the result can be a person who others may respect but not love. However, from another view (from the inside, so to speak) of this Moon sign’s emotional nature, I quote here from an interview with a Capricorn Moon young woman who characterized herself to me as having “a seriousness about the emotional life, an interest in getting down to bare bones, an impatience with small talk, and a need to get to the core emotionally.” She continues:
“All Capricorn Moons I know (there have been a lot) have a certain gravity to them, an ability to take the emotional life seriously. The women especially are almost never giggly or flirty — we’re too serious to flirt much. The women are kind of ‘masculine’ I guess, sort of businesslike in their manner (men too actually… it’s not a placement I ever see that is friends with everyone and instantly, openly affectionate). I think ‘a few serious, long-term friendships’ sums up all the Capricorn Moons I know.”
A questionnaire reply from another woman also emphasized that women with this capable, ambitious orientation are liable to feel “ambivalent about their sexual identity,” although they have strong physical needs, and that women with Capricorn Moon have “a great need for appreciation to develop their self-worth”. Two other questionnaires confirmed the self-disclosure quoted above regarding the practical agenda underlying emotional commitments. The words they used were “cool in affections and looks out for self” and “very calculating—not necessarily bad—just a lot of planning, no spur-of-the-moment reactions.” Another quite thorough questionnaire reply from an experienced practitioner of astrology included the following:
“this Moon placement shows marked proficiency in handling the self in the material world, or at least a lot of concern over and attunement to material affairs. They are very shrewd in taking care of their financial needs. Very often they are involved in some secure structure, like working for the government, etc. They like a secure financial position. For all, they take things very seriously; they approach many things cautiously. This is also a very sexual placement in laid-back ways.”
In conclusion, the Capricorn demeanor of slowness, caution, and hesitation should never mislead you. They may be conservative in most attitudes, but they are actually very progressive and results-oriented in action. They just don’t like to make mistakes.
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helnjk · 4 years ago
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In a Crowd of Thousands - Part 2 // F.W.
Fred Weasley x fem!reader
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Word Count: 3.1k
Summary: You never really forget your childhood love. For Princess Y/N of Diagon, hers came in the form of a boy whose dream it was to start a business and support his family. As it goes, life–and her duty to her kingdom–had gotten in the way. She longed to see him again, to see the success she was sure he had achieved. Luckily, fate was on her side.
Warnings: food mention, alcohol mention (champagne, blink and you’ll miss it), gambling mention (it’s a small bet, blink and you’ll miss it again)
A/N: okay but im lowkey proud of this part. this is the last official ‘chapter’ of this mini series, and i’m really excited to share it with y’all hihi xx 
(also also, there’s a bonus part at the end that you don’t have to read but i love it lol)
flashbacks are in italics
Prologue | Part 1
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The grand ballroom of the palace was packed with people. 
Princess Y/N of Diagon sighed internally as her eyes swept over its expanse. At 21 years old, she was mere months away from her coronation. And, as tradition dictated, a ball was being held in her honor and she avoided it until the last minute that she could. 
To be quite honest, she thought that the idea of a ‘presentation’ was completely outdated and there was absolutely no need for it. She was more than familiar with her people and she didn’t need this night of frivolity and grandiosity to prove it. 
When Minerva first brought up the idea of having to fake a smile and discuss politics in a stuffy room with a bunch of aristocrats, Y/N immediately rolled her eyes. She knew that it was tradition for her to be ‘presented’ to her kingdom, but she also knew that those invited to the ball would not be able to speak for the majority of her subjects. They would be nobles, far too uptight and far too removed from the masses to know what they would truly need. 
They were exactly the kind of people the princess tried very hard to avoid when she went on her rounds throughout the towns and met with people of all walks of life. 
The Princess was very dedicated to living out her goal of being a fair and just leader. From the moment she turned 16, she made it a point to immerse herself in the lives of those who relied on her for, well, everything. Though, much of the fire under her had to do with the initials etched into the trunk of a tree that stood tall and proud by the banks of the river. 
Her reaction to the news of the ball, however, wasn’t appreciated by her governess. Not that she needed a governess anymore, but Y/N would always be grateful for the strong and steady presence that Minerva had been her whole life. 
“Oh don’t look at me like that,” she defended, crossing her arms over her chest, “Even you know how useless these kinds of things are.” 
Minerva merely shook her head and tried to look stern, “Yes, well, it is tradition, at least try and enjoy yourself. You are not expected to speak with investors and nobles all night, and there will be many opportunities to eat and to dance!” 
“As long as my corset isn’t too tight, I think I can manage an evening with the snooty elite.” 
“My dear I hope you know that you are a part of the snooty elite.” 
True to her word, Y/N managed to get through several conversations without any sarcastic remarks or backhanded compliments. In fact, she found herself enjoying the party much more than she had anticipated. The music was lovely, the food phenomenal, and she daresay her dress was absolutely stunning. 
She was fetching herself a drink when a familiar voice spoke next to her, “Well don’t you clean up nicely, sweetheart.” 
“Lord Black!” the princess exclaimed, turning to him and letting out one of the few genuine smiles of the night. “I wasn’t aware you were going to be attending the ball! If I did, I would’ve stuck by your side the moment I entered.” 
The older man’s eyes crinkled at the compliment and he leant in for a warm hug. 
Sirius Black was one of the only aristocrats that the Princess actually held a fondness for. The moment the pair met at one of the first few meetings the King and Queen had allowed her to attend, Y/N knew that he was of the right sort. 
He came from very very old money, but once his parents had passed and he was given access to the Black fortune and title, he began to make very good changes wherever he could. He was a silent investor in many business ventures, and more often than not, the businesses he chose to support would end up flourishing.
“Anything new and exciting to tell me about?” Y/N asked, taking a sip of her sickly sweet champagne. 
Sirius’ eyes lit up at the question, “I met a very promising pair of brothers–twins, actually. Their minds are as sharp as a knife, and they’ve got the most absurd ideas! Brilliant, but absurd. I think they can make it work.” 
“I’m excited to hear more about them, then.” 
The pair spent a good amount of time chatting away, seeking refuge at one of the emptier tables and settling. This was a great compromise for the Princess, who was hitting two birds with one stone as she spoke to someone she enjoyed the company of as well as someone who was a part of the ‘snooty elite’. 
He spoke about his godson and how he was learning to walk and absolutely terrorizing his parents. In return, she told him about how the coronation planning was driving her up the wall. It felt good to be this open and genuine with someone, especially at a function like the one they were attending. 
Sirius was in the middle of an exciting anecdote about Harry’s adventures with his mother’s makeup when Y/N caught a glimpse of fiery red hair. 
Her heart stopped and leaped simultaneously in her chest.
As if they were being pulled by a magnet, her eyes focused solely on the familiar silhouette weaving in and out of the crowd. Her tunnel vision allowed her to see him and only him, and her mind began to go on overdrive. 
“Princess?” 
She barely registered the older man calling out to her, too distracted by the thought of seeing him again. Of being in the same place as him again. Of finally speaking the words she held in her heart for years to him. 
“Excuse me for a moment,” was all she managed to get out. 
Y/N could hear her blood rushing to her ears as she pushed through the, frankly too many, people in the way of her and her best friend. She didn’t care if she wasn’t behaving in a way that a Queen-to-be should be behaving, she didn’t care about any niceties at the moment. The last few years for her were spent almost completely alone, without her favorite redhead by her side, and she would be damned if she was going to let this opportunity slip through her fingers. 
If she was being honest, time hadn’t done much to settle the grief she felt over the Weasleys moving away. Every little thing had reminded her of Fred and she was ashamed to admit that she wasn’t as open to new relationships–or friendships–because of the lingering feelings she harbored for the twin. 
But now, now she had the chance to finally speak to him after so long. To feel the familiar comfort of his presence, to be herself and not have to worry about being the perfect royal that she was expected to be. 
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. 
Y/N could see Fred, he was right there, only a few steps away with his back turned to her. He was laughing at something the person he was speaking to had said, his whole body shaking with unabashed glee. Someone in front of him called out her name as they saw her approach and she watched as he froze for a fraction of a second before turning on his heel. 
Their eyes met and she paused mid-step. 
The world was coated in molasses now, everything around her moving haltingly slow as they saw each other for the first time in years. All other things in the room melted away as he stepped forward, and suddenly he was standing right in front of her. 
“Hi,” she breathed.
“Hi,” he replied, charmile smile and all, “I told you we’d find each other again, didn’t I?” 
Y/N let out a small laugh, still in shock that Fred was really in front of her. His arms wrapped around her torso in a tentative hug, and she spared no time clinging on to him with a ferocity that surprised even her. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself he was really and truly there. Luckily for the princess, he had no qualms with how tightly she was gripping onto him. 
When she finally eased her hold, he held out his arm. “Care for a dance, Princess?”
“I’d love to.” 
All eyes were on them as they walked onto the dance floor, clearly not just another pair among the others. Still, Y/N only had eyes for the man in front of her. Her eyes scanned over his features, taking note of the things that changed and the things that didn’t. 
Fred was still her Fred, just older now, more confident. He had an air around him that wasn’t there the last time she saw him. It was a pleasant surprise, though, seeing him so sure of himself as he spun her around. 
Music flowed around them as Y/N was dipped and twirled. She had never felt more like royalty than she had in that moment, dancing with Fred Weasley, her hand in his. Everything around them seemed to melt away as they moved through the dance floor, eyes locked and bodies pressed together. 
Even when the music paused and they left the dancefloor, their hands remained intertwined. 
Slowly, those in attendance began to make their leave. Some passed by the Princess to say their goodbyes and politely thank her for the night, but most knew better than to interrupt her time with someone who was clearly quite important to her. 
Y/N had never been more thankful for the night to be ending. 
“Didn’t know you were so popular, Y/N” Fred teased after another nobleman bid her goodnight.
“I am a Princess after all,” she replied, watching the man leave. 
“And a damn good one, I’ve heard.” 
She turned to look at him, “Been asking around about me, have you?” 
The look he gave her nearly made her swoon. It was full of affection and admiration, taking the princess off guard. 
Instead of answering, he merely cocked his head in the direction of the exit, saying “Fancy a walk through the grounds? I hear it’s been decorated quite beautifully for the night.” 
After spending so much time packed in a crowded room, it was a welcome relief to be in the cool evening air. True to Fred’s word, the gardens looked spectacular. Lights glittered through every little nook and cranny, the soft trickling of water from the fountains filling the air. It felt like something from a fairytale. 
The pair of them walked together in a peaceful silence, sneaking glances at each other every once in a while. It wasn’t until they found themselves in front of the old weeping willow that they paused. 
“Remember this place?” Fred chuckled, his eyes scanning over the draping branches covered in glittering lights. 
“How could I forget?” 
For the first time that night since they had seen each other, Y/N let go of Fred’s hand. She gently moved aside the curtain of leaves in front of them and stepped into their childhood sanctuary. Fred had to take a moment just to take in the sight of her, a vision in the midst of a sea of stars. 
His heart stuttered in his chest. 
“Do you remember what we promised each other here?” he asked again, eyes shifting to the trunk behind her. 
“It’s on my mind more often than not,” she admitted, feeling heat creep up her neck. 
If he noticed how flustered she got, he didn’t comment. Instead, he said, “Me too.” 
Y/N was right in front of the trunk now, running her fingers over the indented wood. Nimble digits pausing when they brushed over their initials. Fred couldn’t see her expression, but he could tell that there were many things running through her mind at that moment. 
“I think I’ve held up my end of the bargain,” his voice filled the quiet air, “George and I have a rather successful shop in town, if I do say so myself.”  
The Princess turned around to face him with a smile, her back to the tree, “I think I’m on my way to fulfilling mine.” 
As they spoke, their bodies slowly inched towards each other, magnets unable to stay away. The air around them was charged, pushing the two together bit by bit. Soon, they were toe to toe, breaths mingling and eyes locking. 
“I think,” Fred whispered, “I think I’m going to fulfill another dream of mine tonight.” 
Time froze as his face dipped close enough for their lips to brush. Y/N let out a soft gasp as he drew close, body abuzz with nervous energy and skin alight with every touch. Fred was there to ease her mind, though, with warm hands at the small of her back and soft lips gently pressing against hers. 
She felt herself melting into his arms, melting into the kiss as if it was what she was born to do. Nothing else seemed to matter at that moment. 
Like waves finding their way back to the shore, crashing into each other the way only the ocean could, somehow Y/N always knew that Fred would always find his way back to her. The mere thought of it brought a smile to her face and she laughed as he kissed into her smile. Once, twice, three times.  
“You are my dream,” Fred whispered once they broke apart, both of them sharing the same dopey grins. 
“And you are mine,” she replied, pressing her palm to his heart. 
The clock tower had already struck midnight when Princess Y/N and Fred decided to make their way back to the castle. The night was far too short for their liking, but it comforted them to know that they had the next day (and the next and the next, and so on) for them to spend with each other. 
Their pace remained leisurely as they walked through the familiar place. The castle seemed brand new to the princess now. It was coated in a new light as she looked at it with fresh eyes and a happy heart. She came to the realization that the years spent apart from Fred were far too silent and still without him. Now that she had him by her side, the halls seemed to be filled with happiness and light.
The laughter echoing through the halls and the adrenaline pumping through her as they tried to remain unseen was a welcome feeling. It was familiar, almost intimate in a way. She was thrown back to when they were little and Fred had started teaching her about all the different secrets and passageways the castle had to offer. 
“This way, Princess!” a young boy’s voice whisper-yelled to Y/N’s right. 
She spun towards the direction of the sound to see Fred pulling aside a large tapestry. Behind it was a hallway she had never seen before. Her eyes widened at the sight, but she did not hesitate to duck into it. 
“How did you ever find this place?” she asked, eyes scanning the narrow but comfortable passageway, “And where does it lead to?” 
“I spend a lot of time running away from mother,” Fred shrugged. That earned him a laugh from the princess and he let himself feel smug. “This is a shorter way back up to your room, if you’re ever in a hurry.” 
Now, instead of shortcuts and easy ways to get from one place to the other, the pair found themselves taking their time. Fred would tug on her hand and bring them into an empty alcove, stealing kisses and sharing soft smiles. His body was warm, a comforting presence beside hers, and Y/N found herself leaning against his side more often than not.
By the time they found themselves outside the Princess’ chamber doors, they were giggling like little children, running away from governesses and mothers. 
Y/N’s back was pressed against the door suddenly as Fred’s body enveloped hers in a searing kiss. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as her hands found themselves clutching at his coat. 
Then, as quick as he had come, Fred pulled away with a smirk, “Until we see each other next, Princess?” 
She scoffed, “If you think I don’t have the resources to track you down and kill you for saying that, you’re wrong.”
“I’m only joking,” he grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him once again, “We always find our way back to each other, don’t we?” 
The princess rolled her eyes, but he could see the edges of her lips trying–and failing–not to quirk up. 
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BONUS
Sirius watched as the Princess hastily stood up from her seat next to him and hurried off in the direction of Fred Weasley. The same Fred Weasley he had been working with for the past few months. 
He tried not to stare, but it was too tempting not to. His eyes followed the girl as she deftly wove through the throng of people–people who tried to grab her attention to no avail. It was clear that she had a goal in mind and she wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted. 
He watched as they locked eyes, as they shared identical smiles, as they glided through the dance floor and eventually made their way towards the gardens. It was almost ridiculous how elated he felt at the sight. 
The chair beside him made a sound as it was pulled back and he turned to see who had taken a seat beside him. Sirius tried to ignore the man next to him, the man who gave him nothing but a smug smile, but it was useless. 
“Enjoying yourself?” he asked, lips quirking slightly. 
“I think you owe me a few galleons,” Remus replied, looking very pleased. He cleaned up quite well in his navy blue suit, and Sirius had to hold back from causing a scene in the middle of a very prestigious ball just so that he could show Remus how much he loved him.  
Sirius rolled his eyes fondly, “So quick to judge the events that transpired this evening, Moony.” 
The look his husband gave him was enough for him to dig into his pockets for a few of the gold coins. Remus held out his hand, opening and closing it in front of him smugly. 
“You know,” Sirius said as he pressed the money into Remus’ palm, “When I made a bet against you, saying I was positive that the woman Fred was in love with was not the Princess, I really thought I was going to win.” 
Remus pressed a kiss on his cheek and smiled, “Never bet against me, love, you’re never going to win.”
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Series Taglist: @prismarts​ @snoopydoop1​ @the-romanian-is-bae​ @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @manuosorioh @daltonacademia​​​
General taglist: @expectoevans​ @george-fabian-weasley​ @gxthsanrio @slytherinscribbles​ @harpyloon​ @nuttytani​ @mesmerisedangel​ @amourtentiaa​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @lumos-barnes​ @cherryweasleys​ @writingsomewrongs​ @the-unmanaged-mischief​ @mrzweasley​ @inglourious-imagines​ @pr3ttysw33t​​ @amrtxntias​ @miraclesoflove @thatlonelyalto​​​​
Weasley twins taglist: @pineapplesandpinas​ @papapapadumb​ @a-castle-of--glass​ @hey-there-angels​ @leovaldez37 @pinkypurplemagic​ @werewolfslut​ @surprizeshawtyy​ @oldschoolkiddo​ @gcdricreads​ @turtletaylor98​ @secret-obsessions​ @weaslxyss​ @serendiipty​ @nojamsonmytoast​ @famdomhideout​ @georgeweasley19​ @asuperconfusedgirl​ @loonylovegood13​ @lumielikesbooks​ @nanahachikyuu​ @freds-slut​​ @theweasleytwinsgirl​​ @ghost3rr @littlemisswitt​​ @astoria-malfcy​ @weasleysprofessionalhoe​​ @freddie-weaselbee​​ @daydreamgirl8​​ @jubilee-the-flying-dragon-pirate​
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inhuman-obey-me · 3 years ago
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An Angel’s Uncertainty
#HappyBirthdayLucifer2021 ! This was written as part of a collab project for Lucifer’s birthday -- you can check out all the artist/writer combos at the Lucifer Birthday Collab Twitter! 
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Words:  1062 A look at Lucifer's thoughts during a birthday of his in the Celestial Realm, before the War. Angst ahead.
Can be found on AO3 here.
His day of creation. It was supposed to be a celebration.
“A day of commemoration in the name of our very own Morning Star!” Michael grins, raising a glass of sparkling celestial water, the rays of sun passing through it as if it were liquid diamond. The others clap and cheer in a flurry of feathers and halos, all surrounding Lucifer in adoration. Everyone always had so much admiration for him, their dazzling light-bringer.
His siblings and other fellow angels would come together around this time, singing his praises and gifting him small items to show their appreciation. It was never an extravagant affair -- above all, their duties as angels came before anything else, and parties were for the immoral. Lucifer didn’t mind -- he enjoyed the calm moments, whenever he could get away from his usual long list of responsibilities and making sure his siblings weren’t up to too much trouble.
So then why did today feel so … empty?
It was a question he already knew the answer to, but acknowledging it would force him to face a truth that he had been trying so hard to push away.
So he smiles. He engages. He laughs and gives his thanks for all of the platitudes and generosity. He wants to be present , in the moment, no thoughts of the future and the growing doubts in his heart interrupting and dimming the light in his eyes.
But that was easier said than done. The aching in his heart never dissipates, the nagging feeling that something was off, something wasn’t right, something was amiss. As the day wore on, he felt his mask slipping -- and he wasn’t the only one who noticed.
“Lucifer,” He turns to see Simeon, his fellow seraph, giving him one of his usual gentle smiles. “I thought I saw you slip away to this garden. Are you doing alright?”
“Yes, of course.” No . “I just needed a little break from Mammon’s and Leviathan’s squabbling.”
“I see. They’re as rambunctious as ever, aren’t they?” Simeon laughs softly, coming to stand by Lucifer’s side, following his gaze out to the calm waters of the Eastern Spring. Together, they pass by a few moments in silence.
A soft breeze rustles the leaves of the trees surrounding them, long wispy branches reaching over the water, as if grasping for something that couldn’t be seen. The petals of celestial flowers drift through the air, vibrating with a heavenly chime as they made contact with the surface of the spring, as if they were singing a song for just the two of them. It was a beautiful sight, but just as one could see all of the charm in such a vision, one could also feel a strange sense of melancholy.
“What is it?” Lucifer finally asks.
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“You’re still staring at me from the corner of your eye, Simeon. Something you want to say?” Lucifer raises a brow inquisitively, turning to his friend.
“Well,” Simeon starts, glancing behind them to ensure no one else was nearby. He lowers his voice before continuing, “You seem … down. Like something has been weighing on you. I can’t help but wonder.”
Lucifer sighs, running a hand through his raven locks. He wasn’t completely lying earlier -- he did want to get away from Mammon, who always seemed to see straight through him. There was no need to concern him -- not just yet, not when he wasn’t truly certain on what these feelings were. However, he forgot that Simeon also had the unfortunate knack of reading him a bit too easily with those piercing cerulean eyes.
“It’s … nothing. I’ve just had a lot on my mind, with all of these changes, and these annoying meetings I’ve been forced to have with the Devildom prince.” He waves his hand, as if dismissing the thought. He couldn’t let Simeon know of this growing doubt, like a pit opening wider and wider in his chest and consuming him whole. He is one of the top angels. He follows his father’s command, believes in his Great Plan, believes in all that the Celestial Realm stood for and more.
Doesn’t he?
It wasn’t as if his recurring diplomatic meetings with Prince Diavolo were making him question more and more why his father had not tried to achieve peace amongst the Three Realms, making him question if all they had been taught about demons was true, making him question if being an angel was truly the most divine and freeing thing one could be. It wasn’t as if they were merely soldiers, merely messengers, merely arbiters. It wasn’t as if he had been imagining what it would be like to rise up against his Father, what the best strategy would be to challenge that which was to never be questioned, who would play what role, who would join, who would oppose.
It wasn’t, it wasn’t, it wasn’t . . .
“Well, if you say so.” Simeon smiles at him again, delicately placing a gloved hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. “But know that you can come and speak to me anytime. You order me around plenty as it is, you can share whatever other burdens you have with me as well, alright?” He pauses, his brows knitting for a moment. “Unless, of course, it has to do with Raphael. He gets testy enough with me as is, so you are on your own for that.”
“Thank you, Simeon.” Lucifer manages a smile, a genuine one as the other angel laughs at his own remarks. “I appreciate it, but you really don’t have to worry. Now, let’s return to the others, shall we?”
Simeon nods, and together they rejoin the gathering. The morning star observes his family fondly -- Asmodeus was braiding Lilith’s hair, Beelzebub was showing Belphegor along with a couple other angels a new defense move he had learned recently, and Mammon and Leviathan were still arguing over something inconsequential, much to the amusement of Uriel who almost seemed to be goading them on.
He pushes all of his doubts away, all of his questions of the future and what it held. It was blasphemous, turning away from all of this just because of uncertainty. What a fool he was, to even imagine what a revolution against this idyllic peace would be like.
After all, they would be together like this forever … right?
105 notes · View notes
milgrammer · 4 years ago
Text
[ENG] Molech Voice Drama
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Es: [footsteps]
Shido: Hm?
Es: Sorry to have kept you waiting. [footsteps] Prisoner number 5, Shido. 
Shido: No need to. Thank you for all your hard work, Es.
Es: Now then, Shido. Let’s begin the interrogation.
Shido: Very well. Please go ahead.
Es: [hesitates] Ok. Let’s see... Milgram exists to reveal the sins of you, prisoners, and to hand down the appropriate judgement. So, for that reason, talk to me for a bit. 
Shido: Understood. Please take good care of me from now on.
Es: [pauses] Even if this is referred to as an interrogation, at this moment in time, I don’t plan on using violence. In addition to that, any falsehood or silence from you will be acknowledged.
Shido: I see. I might refrain from voicing anything I don’t want to say, but I have no intention of lying to you.
Es: Shido, how’s life in Milgram? Do you have any complaints about its environment? Or have any issues arisen from the other prisoners, etc?
Shido: No particular inadequacies really come to mind. And, my fellow prisoners haven't particularly caused any issues either. Es, I wonder if this is the fruit of all the governing you do? It’s remarkable.
Es: Not really. [hesitates] Hold on a second, Shido. 
Shido: Yes? What is it?
Es: This is… I know it’s me who’s getting things mixed up here, but…  In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly; it feels somewhat unsettling. 
Shido: I’m not sure what to say to that... 
Es: Hm. [footsteps] Shido, do you seriously not have any reservations about Milgram? 
Shido: Well, let’s see. I mean, without a doubt, it’s clearly a strange place. Its architectural style and the written script it uses are things I’ve never seen before either. If you were to say I was having a dream or a vision, then that would make more sense to me. 
Es: Hm.
Shido: But, all things considered, I’m still very much conscious. My pulse rate is within its normal range. And, I can’t find any symptoms to suggest that I’m hallucinating either. So, I don't exactly find that idea to be very convincing.
Es: Oh?
Shido: Other than that... If this is the afterlife, then this place must be hell. But, if I set that idea aside, then… This is just real life. I, myself, am in normal condition; it’s where I am which is unusual. I may not know the reason behind this place or how it works, but even if I tried to escape from the reality of it, nothing would really change, right?
Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you? 
Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean. 
Es: You mean, Milgram?
Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death. 
Es: What?
Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right? 
Es: Yeah. That’s right.
Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance. 
Es: I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so.
Shido: Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour. 
Es: [scratches head, sighs] In regards to your sin, what I’ve gathered so far is that you both regret and have already reflected on your actions. On top of that, you’re also seeking to receive the maximum penalty we have to offer. So, let’s use that information. The idea that I’ll be taking your behaviour into consideration is nothing more than a mere presumption.
Shido: [hesitates]
Es: And, of course, I haven’t thrown away the possibility that you’re only doing this to get on my good side either.
Shido: Hm. I honestly have no idea what you and Milgram are setting out to achieve. You mentioned something about extracting songs and videos from our hearts, and then using them to judge our sins, didn’t you?
Es: Yeah. And, what of it?
Shido: There’s no need for you to go through such a cumbersome process. If you want to hand down the correct punishment for me, then all you have to do is put an end to my life and it'll be over in a blink of an eye.
Es: You’re being annoyingly persistent, Shido! Know your place here. 
Shido: Please listen to me, Es. I’ve killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I’m a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be. [footsteps] There’s no reason for you to forgive me. And, I don’t have the desire to be forgiven either.
Es: I really don’t...get you.
Shido: If you don’t put me to death, then neither the people I’ve killed nor their families will be at peace. Don’t you think so too?    
Es: As if that’s my business. I haven’t necessarily sided with your victims and I’m not a family member of theirs either.
Shido: [sighs]
Es: [sighs] Anyway, the only thing I’ll be deciding on is whether or not I forgive you. I don’t even know the details of what punishment will follow after that. 
Shido: Is that so? Es, I suppose you were left in the dark about many things as well just like the rest of us. 
Es: Knowing what happens to the lot of you afterwards might prevent me from making a straightforward decision about whether I should forgive you or not. So, it’s to avoid that from happening. Were you aware of that? 
Shido: Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram.
Es: Smell of the dead? 
Shido: Yes. I can somewhat recognise it from experience… A place which is filled with the smell of the dead, that is. 
Es: Is...that so? Well, either way, Milgram is a three-trial system. It lets me take my time to decide on whether or not I should forgive you. Even if you wish for the opposite, if I decide that you should be forgiven, then it’ll do just that without any hesitation. 
Shido: A three-trial system, right? It’ll take far too long, don’t you think? I’d rather this all be over as soon as possible.
Es: Like I care about what’s convenient for you. Don’t complain about the rules.
Shido: So, if it’s a three-trial system… Then, for example, if you absolutely can’t find it within yourself to forgive me and I don’t lodge an appeal in response, will my treatment be decided on the spot?
Es: That’s the three-trial system according to Japanese law. Milgram’s one is different from that. For the time being, you really should throw away what would be considered common sense there. I mean, if we’re gonna bring up Japan… Due to the abolition of the Prison law, this sort of prison shouldn’t even exist in the first place. (1)
Shido: Wow… 
Es: What is it? You’re going all wide-eyed. 
Shido: Ah, well… I was just thinking about how despite being a child, you’ve really done your research on this.
Es: Hey. [footsteps] You trying to make fun of me, is that it? 
Shido: What? Oh, no. I wasn’t trying to do anything like that.
Es: You were. Something’s been on my mind ever since the very beginning… “Es, this. Es, that.” It’s the belittling way you refer to me…  I’m the prison guard, you know that?
Shido: Oh, I’m completely aware of that. But, you’re still a child in actuality. Coming from me, who’s almost twice the age as you are, I just… 
Es: What is it?
Shido: For a child like you to be entrusted with this sort of role… My heart goes out to you. 
Es: Excuse me?
Shido: I don’t know what circumstances you face while guarding this prison nor the reason as to why you’re doing it, but I’m sure that it must take a toll on you emotionally as well. So, please do your best. [pats head]
Es: [is shook] I see. Oh, I see now. So, that’s how it is. So, that’s how it’s gonna be. [deep breaths]
Shido: Hm? Es?
Es: Don’t you dare… pat my head like that! [kicks]
Shido: [grunts] Please hold on for a second.
Es: Phew, I feel so much better now.
Shido: S-suddenly kicking my shin like that…wasn’t very nice of you.
Es: Shut up! Out of all the prisoners thus far, you’re the one I can’t stand the most. Going all pessimistic like that, running your mouth as if you knew everything, acting as if you’re oh-so mature, and never budging from that composed expression of yours—the nerve of you! On top of that, you even went so far as to pat my head. Do you think I’m your child? Do you?! Don’t fuck with me!
Shido: Didn’t you say that you wouldn’t use violence?
Es: It’s on a case-by-case basis.
Shido: What a thing to say.
Es: Hey, Shido. What the hell do you mean by "I want to die"? Don’t you dare try to insult me with that. Plead for your life with every fibre of your being! Our instinctive desire to stay alive is the very reason why punishments for our sins exist. To Milgram and to me, your very existence is sacrilegious! 
Shido: Es… 
Es: If your shin gets kicked, you’ll feel pain, won’t you? And if it hurts, you’ll cry out, won’t you? You’ll tear up, won’t you? 
Shido: Yeah… 
Es: Well, take that! Even if you boast about wanting to die, the pain you just felt is the exact same thing as your body screaming that it doesn’t want to. 
Shido: [pauses]
Es: While you’re still alive, you should be grabbing life with both hands! Don’t act as if you’re already dead. An adult like that has no right to treat me like a child. It makes my skin crawl. End of discussion!
Shido: I see… If I feel pain, then it’s proof that I want to live?
Es: Hmph!
Shido: [sighs] Well, with that being said, here’s my counterargument to it. It was the nociceptors in my shin which felt that pain. So, it's nothing more than a reaction caused by pain signals being transmitted to my spinal cord and then to my brain. That phenomenon is called nociceptive pain. 
Es: What?
Shido: What I’m saying is… Even if I do want to die, pain is something which will still involuntarily occur. And therefore, you, Es, were making a mistake in your claim.
Es: That's so immature of you. 
Shido: [laughs] It’s payback for kicking my shin like that. But, you know, I think it was an amazing mistake to have made. It was so radiant...to the point where it made me want to turn away. Just as I thought, you truly are a child…but that makes me incredibly happy.
Es: Shido… [mechanical noises] It’s time, huh.
Shido: So, this is what will be “extracting songs”? It sure is intriguing. I wonder what mine will be like. 
Es: Composed no matter what, aren’t you? Is there anything left you'd like to say? 
Shido: Oh, yeah. I don’t know about what the other prisoners may think about Milgram itself, but…  I fully agree with it.
Es: Sure seems that way.
Shido: I’m a fine specimen of what a murderer ought to be. I don’t mind when you hand down your judgement, but if it's possible… Instead of being told by the law that I won’t be forgiven, I wanted a child like you, Es, to tell me that.
Es: What?
Shido: I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well…  But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for. 
Es: [hesitates] Y-you… What’re you saying? A special request like that is so...
Shido: [laughs] Well, I wonder. I'm just trying to get you to punish me as of now. 
Es: [hesitates] 
Shido: I look forward to you handing down the correct judgment.
Es: You’re making a false presumption there. It’s the fact that it’s my judgment which makes it correct! That’s what Milgram is.
Shido: Then, I look forward to what you deem to be ‘correct’.
Es: Hmph. Say whatever you want.
Shido: Please make sure you don’t forgive me. Okay, Es?
Es: [scoffs] Don’t make me say it over and over again! I don’t give a shit about what you’re hoping for. Prisoner number 5, Shido. Come now. Sing your sins!
「監獄」 [kangoku] were essentially comprised of 「刑務所」 (for those people serving a sentence) and 「拘置所」 (for suspects, those who were awaiting a sentence or those on death row).  They operated under 「監獄法」 (the Prison Law). However, due to abolition of the Prison Law in 2007, those facilities are no longer called 「監獄」, but are now referred to as 「刑事施設」.
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yandere-daze · 4 years ago
Text
`Til death do us part
Yandere Riddle Rosehearts x Reader
So I recently got into Twisted Wonderland and I love Riddle so much so I decided I had to do something for him ( as I promised with the drawing). This is what I came up with! Thank you so much for your help and listening to me scream about this @naranciabestboi ! I hope you enjoy it!!
Under cut for length!
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Summary : Your parents had made plans for an arranged marriage, Riddle however was not pleased by this at all.
You held the letter in your shaking hands, rereading it´s contents over and over again to see if there was anything you had missed. Surely there had to be some kind of mistake on your part, you had to have misread something. Your reading comprehension has never been the best so surely there was a possibility at least? But no matter how long you stared at that cursed letter in your hands, the same cold hard truth was contained within the elegantly written words that were scrawled across the paper in a neat manner.
 “Dear Y/n,
Your mother and me have observed your progress at Night Raven College quite closely and we are proud to see how far you have gotten with your studies. But don´t let this praise get to your head, you still have a long way to go if you want to one day become a worthy ruler and heir of the L/n name. So please remember to keep studying to one day achieve your goal.
But this is not the only reason I decided to write this letter to you. You see I have the greatest of news for you: Crown prince Ayers of the Devereaux family is currently looking for a spouse to rule beside him once he becomes king and ascends the throne. As far as I remember, you two have met before, haven´t you? It was but a year ago at one of the Devereaux family’s grand birthday celebrations. The young prince seemed to be quite struck with you back then, didn´t he? He is currently accepting offers from nobles all over the continent but your mother and me are very confident that you will prevail. A union between you both would be of great benefit to both of our countries and greatly improve our influence. Y/n please hear me out: I know how you might feel about this arrangement, but we are sure that this is for the best so we are not allowing any sort of protest or defiance from you. We have already offered your hand in marriage to prince Ayers. One day you will thank us for this.
Now then, we wish you the best of luck on your studies and we will hear from each other soon. It has been a long time since we last heard of you, so do send us a reply as fast as possible.
Signed,
D/n and M/n L/n”
 You felt as if a burning hole had just opened up in your stomach as the situation you were in finally settled in. Your parents were trying to set you up on an arranged marriage? With someone you barely knew? Sure, you had met Ayers once but you didn´t have too high of an opinion on him. To you he was a bumbling fool that didn´t know when to stay quiet. You had made it quite clear that his presence wasn´t appreciated, but he either didn´t seem to take the hint or he just straight up ignored your resistance, because he kept asking you to dance with him the whole evening and in the hopes of him finally letting up on you, you reluctantly complied. Which looking back on it now was a huge mistake, as it was what put you into this miserable situation in the first place. You remember back then when your parents caught a glimpse of you two dancing, they looked so very excited for you, something you couldn´t quite comprehend back then. But now it all seemed so clear to you: Even back then, they were trying to find someone to arrange a marriage with, seeking to spread their influence and power. They said that they cared about you and that they only had your best interests in mind but you knew that you were secretly just a means to climb the social ladder even further. Because if they had truly cared about your wellbeing then they wouldn´t have forced you into this situation. Now you knew you were done for, doomed to marry someone you didn´t love and wanted as far away from you as possible. Right in this moment you wanted to vent out your frustration and anger: You wanted to punch the wall, scream your lungs out and let your angry tears flow freely but ended up doing none of that, barely containing your emotions as you heard footsteps approaching, heading right into your direction. You had to compose yourself. Whoever this was, you didn´t want them to see you in this state. You straightened your back as you slowly tried to ease the tension out of your shoulder while willing your face muscles to put a small smile on your face. Hopefully this would be enough to convince anyone passing by that you were fine and didn´t need anyone´s help right now.
Clack clack clack
You heard a familiar sounding fall of footsteps growing closer and closer until the sound faded as the person came to a stop seemingly right beside you. You forced your smile to grow just a tiny amount wider as you turned around to face to face whoever came by.
And as they exclaimed your name, you immediately knew just who was standing before you now.
“Y/n?”
-----
Riddle was on his way to head back to the Heartslabyul dormitory after class, as he saw the vague shape of a person standing just a few meters away from him, seemingly distracted. He at first didn´t plan to pay any attention to it, as he had enough important matters to attend to and surely, he wasn´t the right person to vent their problems to but as he got closer and closer, he was able to identify the student standing there. How could he not? He had practically memorized everything about you. Y/n L/n. The one person that was always there for him when all the other turned away from him. You were one of the only people that he felt like he could be himself with and he treasured your existence like no one else. You were the one spark in his otherwise bleak life that kept him going and gave him hope for a bright future. A future with you, ideally. But he couldn´t get too carried away now. Taking one good scrutinizing look at you, he was able to tell that something was wrong, the smile you had on your face looked forced, far too wide to be considered a natural one. You looked shaken and your shoulders were slightly trembling as if you were on the verge of crying. Just what could have put you into this state? Did someone hurt you? If that was the case then he needed to find out who it was and then have a rather stern…talk with the culprit. But first, he had to make sure that you were okay and maybe cheer you up a bit.
“Y/n?”, he called out to alert you of his presence if you hadn´t heard him approach yet. He wouldn´t doubt it from how distracted you looked. But he couldn´t help but feel his heart swell as your eyes lighted up in recognition and your shoulders lost some of their previous tension.
“R-riddle!”, you exclaimed in slight surprise as you shifted your arms around a bit. Riddle didn´t miss how you tried to casually put on of your arms behind your back, a sheet of paper clutched tightly in your hand as you put in the effort to try and hide whatever that was. He couldn´t help but slightly furrow his brow at this. He could easily guess that this letter was the cause of your distress and he felt irritated that you even tried to hide this from him, even if it was a poor attempt. Did you not trust him with your problems?
“Uhm.. fancy seeing you here haha…” He couldn´t help but chuckle in amusement despite the current situation, you very visibly cringed from how fake your own attempt at casualness sounded.
“Y/n I live here. And also, please show me what you are hiding beneath your back, you look really upset” At this, your shoulders tensed up again as you nervously shifted your weight from one foot to the other while you stammered out an excuse. “I-I don´t know what you´re talking about! I´m not hiding anything and I feel fine!” Your voice continued to stagger as your eyes locked onto anything besides Riddle´s face, which he didn’t like at all. Not one bit. Deep within him he felt the desire for you to look at him, to look only at him and no one else. For you to grace him with one of your radiant smiles that he had grown in love with. Yes, love. Oh, he loved you so dearly, your entire being and soul. He wanted to hold onto you tight and never let go. But he was getting sidetracked now, he really needed to get to the bottom of this current issue that laid before him. There was something you were anxious about and even worse tried to hide from him, that just wasn´t acceptable.
“Rules of the Queen of Hearts No. 404: Never tell a lie when talking to your ruler! And so badly as well. I demand to know what you have there behind your back!” Your eyes widened in shock, surprised that Riddle had seen through your oh so flawlessly crafted lie. Then after the initial shock had registered in your system you were quick to raise your eyebrows at his remark. “My…ruler? Really now?” Riddle couldn´t help but show off a proud smirk at that. “Yes, your ruler. Your dorm leader, you know? It´s basically the same thing but really that´s beside the point. You should not be lying to me in any kind of fashion, especially when you look so horribly distraught.” His eyes softened at the last part of his speech. Yes, he was a bit irritated at your stubbornness but he genuinely wanted to know what had happened. And who he needed to have a very stern scolding with.
“Well…okay. Because it´s you Riddle. I-I don´t think I can tell you myself but please just take a look at this letter it´s just….” You weren´t even able to finish your sentence before Riddle practically ripped the letter from your hands, his gaze practically devouring the words that were displayed on the paper. Y/n parents, they want to set them up on an arranged marriage? With someone like this? He couldn´t believe this was happening as he grew more and more furious, he ended up almost tearing the letter apart from how much his hands were shaking in rage. Who do they think they are, taking his dear y/n away from him like this? He had already planned his entire future with them, how he would confess in front of the rose bushes while watching the sunset together, how they would move in together after Night Raven College, how he would one day propose to them and they would get married... Yes married. They would get married one day. He would get his happily-ever after, no matter the cost. Y/n´s parents had the audacity to take them away from him so they had to pay a price! Riddle was much better suited as y/n´s future husband, he had so much more to offer! They would be fools to choose that Devereaux wanna-be noble over him!
You must have seen how infuriated he had gotten as you laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and as Riddle looked into your watery eyes, barely being able to hold the tears back, he came to a decision. He had to do something about this, there had to be a way out of this arranged marriage, even if it was the last thing he did. That wretched fool wouldn´t get to hold you in his arms, he would make sure of that. And as you circled your arms around him in a hug and wet his shirt as you finally let your tears flow, he came to the idea of just what he had to do to keep you by his side.
His face was slightly flushed from the gentleness of your touch as he ran a comforting hand over your back. “Y/n”, he murmured and you gently raised your head to look him in the eye. “I think”; he continued in a soft tone, so very different from his current mental state; “I think I know a way out of this miserable situation.” Your pretty eyes widened at this and displayed various emotions: surprise, confusion, intrigue, and also... hopefulness. “How so, Riddle? I don´t think my parents can be so easily swayed, they seem pretty set on marrying me off to some wealthy noble.” “And that´s exactly my point.” Now you just looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean? I don’t know what you´re getting at. I don´t think that- “
“Just let me finish explaining y/n”, he lightly scolded you as he waved a finger in front of your face. How adorable your little pout was. He could look at you all day. And he would.
“So, your parents want you to marry this man because they want to gain influence through combining your countries wealth, right?” He waited for you to give him a reluctant nod before continuing. “But what if coincidentally, an even better suitor appeared right before their eyes and pleaded for your hand in marriage? If they had a way bigger influence? They would drop these silly plans, wouldn´t they?” You tilted your head as if to properly think over what your dorm leader just told you before your expression lightened up, your mouth forming a surprised o-shape. “It seems like you understand what I´m trying to say, right? The Rosehearts name is a prestigious one indeed. I don´t think your parents would ever dare to dismiss the chance for their child to be called Y/n Rosehearts, would they? So, I thought of this solution. We write a letter to your parents, saying that you are already in a relationship with me and that we are planning a wedding in the near future. Because of this you can´t accept their oh so gracious offer.” “And then!”, you continued for him.” And then, when Ayers announces that he found a proper spouse we can stop the act and go back to being friends like before! Riddle that´s a great plan! What would I ever do without you?”
Yes, what indeed would you do without him? He wanted to properly enjoy the notion of being so important to you but the rest of your naively uttered comment left a very bitter taste in his mouth. You wanted to go back to being friends? He´s going to agree for now but that is not how this will end. Surely, after you two had spent so much time together pretending to date, he would be able to steal your heart and make you fall in love with him as much as he loved you. You would be his after this, he won´t let you break things off, surely you would see things his way after this.
“Exactly”, he instead said and told you that you two should get to writing the letter as soon as possible so the arranged marriage could be stopped. The very same day, the letter had been written and sent, talking about how you two had fallen in love during your school days and how you were already engaged to him. Yes, that detail was something Riddle was strangely persistent with. “It´s easier to sway them with this”, he had answered to your questions and you didn´t pay it much more mind. You trusted him completely and that´s exactly what Riddle adored about you.
He ran a delicate hand over the word “engaged” before slipping the letter into a fancy envelope and sending it out to be delivered as soon as possible.
Everything would fall into place and you would finally be his.
------------------
As you had guesses, your parent´s response to you and Riddle´s supposed engagement had been ecstatic, talking about how proud they were of you and how they couldn´t wait for you two to get married. Yeah, you were sure they were; you thought sarcastically. Much to your delight, the plans for you to get married to Ayers Devereaux had been tossed out the window completely as well. At least for the time being. So much to them wanting the best for you, they were only interested in the noble title since the beginning. When you told the good news to Riddle, he seemed almost happier than you were. Well, that is to say a wide smile appeared on his face, which in his standards was a truly rare expression, saved for only very rare moments. This seemed to be one of them.
“I can´t believe it Riddle, your plan actually worked out! I can´t thank you enough for this!” It was true, he had really gotten you out of an almost impossible looking situation, thanks to him a heavy burden was lifted from your shoulder, you felt as if you could finally breathe easy now. “Don´t thank me just yet, y/n. It´s still not over, far from it in actuality.” You tilted your head in confusion at your dorm head´s sudden exclamation, not quite understanding what he was trying to say. “Y/n, don´t tell me you forgot already.” Noticing that you indeed seemed to have forgotten, he sighed in exasperation and lightly shook his head. “Did you already forget the second part of our plan? Perhaps even the most important one? Really, what am I to do with you?” You chuckled in slight embarrassment, not wanting to directly admit that you had forgotten about such an important detail but made it clear that you wanted him to continue. Seriously what was he talking about?  “Alright so think about it like this: Out of the blue, one of the most important students in this school, the dorm head of Heartslabyul has just announced that he was going to get engaged to another student at school. Yet they were never even seen exchanging any kind of affection that could be seen as romantic? That doesn´t make a lot of sense, now does it? You would expect them to act like a couple, wouldn´t you?” You considered what your friend just told you and came to the conclusion that what he just said did make sense, he had a point. “Then what are we supposed to do in your opinion?”, you asked tentatively. You had an idea as to what he might propose but you didn´t just want to assume and push him into something he might not want. He had already done so much for you, you didn´t want to put even more pressure onto him. “It´s quite obvious, isn´t it?”, he answered your question while absentmindedly crossing his arms in front of his chest. “We have to act like a couple if we want people to believe us.”, he added with a slight smirk on his face. You knew it was coming but you couldn´t help but still feel surprised about it now that it was actually said. “Are you sure you want to do this? You don´t have to push yourself like this…” Riddle let out another sigh as he once again shook his head. “Don´t worry, I´m perfectly fine with this. And besides, what would be the alternative to this? Your parents finding out that we were just pretending and going back to that foolish prince to once again start discussions about your potential marriage? Now I´m pretty sure that neither of us wants that.” You wanted to retaliate something, anything, because it seemed pretty awkward for you to act like you are in love with your best friend but you didn´t really have a better idea than him and he was right. “Alright then. So, what should we do first? How are we going to go about this?” “Don´t worry to much about it, I already have everything planned out. Just leave it to me.”, he answered your question with a knowing smile on his face as he reached out his hand for you to take. With a light flush to your cheeks thanks to the gentle contact, you took ahold of his hand and let him lead you to who-knows where.
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The first place Riddle took you to was the kitchen in the Heartslabyul dorm, where Trey was already working on preparing the tarts and cookies for the redhead´s afternoon tea session. “Ah Trey, it´s good to see you. Would you care to prepare a larger serving for today? I want to share your delicious sweets with my beloved as we drink tea together.” Riddle had said this so casually, with such a practiced normalcy, that Trey´s shocked reaction of almost dropping the tart he had been working on just mere moments ago contrasted almost funnily contrasted with your “lovers” serious behavior. “Your… beloved? Riddle, did I hear that quite right? I think I might have misheard.”, Trey asked awkwardly while trying to fix the mess he had just caused in the kitchen involuntarily.  “Yes, that is quite right. You see, y/n and me share a special connection with each other so it´s only natural that I want to spend more time with them. I assumed that´s what happy couples do, or am I mistaken?” You yourself where almost taken aback by how serious your friend sounded, even if you knew firsthand that it was only an act he had put on. You knew that Riddle was a genius but you didn’t expect him to be so good at acting as well, you were almost convinced by his words alone and he hadn´t even said more than a few sentences. “So, you two are together? Since when?” Trey looked befuddled as he fixed his head that was threatening to fall off from all of its owner´s abrupt movements. You decided to let Riddle do the talking because he seemed to be much more composed than you felt, you didn´t trust yourself to start speaking now without your voice shaking. “Indeed, we are a couple. We´ve been together for some time now but had decided to keep it a secret until now. Y/n was a bit nervous about everyone knowing about us so I kept quiet about it as well. I hope you understand.” Right at this moment, the teapot started making loud noises, indicating that the water was now boiling and ready to be poured. “I understand. To your luck, I actually already made a bit more than usual, so you are more than welcome to take everything here.” “Splendid!”, Riddle exclaimed before looking at you. “Thank you very much!”, you thanked Trey while grabbing most of everything you two needed for your teatime, causing your arms to be completely overloaded with pastries. You said your goodbyes before leaving the kitchen and following Riddle down the hallway. On your way to what you assumed was the garden a familiar looking figure came into view. Judging from the general large statue of this person as well as the tell-tale white fluffy ears, it was Jack Howl that was currently walking right in your direction. When he came closer and finally recognized your face behind the mountain of treats in front of your face, his ears quickly peaked up as he gave you a greeting. “Y/n, why are you carrying all of this stuff? Is this some kind of punishment from the dorm head?”, he tilted his head quizzically while looking at the mentioned person calmly walking beside you. “We are, in fact, walking to the gardens to have a tea party- date. I would appreciate it if you could move out of our way swiftly.” You couldn´t help but notice that Riddle´s tone had gotten a bit snappish, a light glare lingering on his face, indicated by the way his eyebrows furrowed. “D-date? Uh sure, I will but why are you making y/n carry everything by themselves? They look overwhelmed and you aren´t carrying anything. Come on, let me help you carry this.” You smiled in gratitude as you thanked Jack for his great help as he leaned over to take some of the weight off of you, lightly brushing against your arm in the process. Suddenly, Riddle grew very red in the face, the color now rivaling the intensity of his red hair. “Unbelievable! Stop this insolence at once!” Surprised by his sudden outburst compared to his calm state before, you and Jack turned your heads to properly look at him once more. He was fuming, his hands almost shaking. “What´s wrong, Riddle?”, you asked innocently. What had happened? Had you accidentally broken a rule again? But you had done that several times before and he had never reacted this badly in any of the other instances. So, what was wrong? “You want to know what´s wrong? Rules of the Queen of Hearts No. 420: Never touch your ruler´s property! You´ve made a great mistake breaking this rule, Jack Howl!” He seemed truly mad right now for some reason and with a wave of shock you saw him raising his magical pen. Surely, he wasn´t meaning to-
“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”, Riddle screamed as he let his magic roam free. Few seconds passed before the heart shaped collar appeared around Jack`s neck. “Why you-!”, Jack growled. “Riddle why did you do that? What´s gotten into you? He just wanted to help me, that´s why he touched the tarts! If anything, it´s my fault as well.” But Riddle didn´t look like he even wanted to consider your exclamation before he promptly grabbed your hand once more, this time quite a bit more tightly as he started walking ahead and pulling you along with him, not paying any mind to the yelling man you two had left behind. You walked quite some minutes before you two came to a stop at a very familiar sight. You were greeted by the beautiful sight of rose bushed that were painted red and a fancy looking decked table. Carefully you set down everything you had to begrudgingly continue to carry on your own because of what happened just a few minutes ago. The thought still wouldn´t leave your head. Why had Riddle reacted so strongly to Jack touching the sweets? After all, hadn´t Trey technically touched them as well when he made them? How would you even bake something without touching it? You swore, these rules kept making less and less sense to you, this was ridiculous. Seemingly noticing that you were still upset, the redhead sighed as he sat in the chair facing yours as he reached his hand over the table, encouraging you to take it. You were still mad so you refused to do so and instead just stared right into his eyes, trying to convey your disagreement with what he had just done. Sensing your hesitancy after refusing to take his hand even after several seconds had already passed, a steely look crossed Riddle´s face as he sighed once more, this time sounding more disappointed as he decided to take the initiative and practically leaned over the table to take your hand that laid out before you on the table and pulling it more towards where he could reach better. Looking down at your now entwined hands, you felt frustration take over, still not understanding what had happened. “You know”, Riddle broke the lasting silence as he simultaneously ran his fingers over the back of your hand which you interpreted as his way to try and calm you down to make you listen. “I wasn’t mad because of the tarts.” At this, you were surprised. What else could he have gotten mad about then? “But I thought you said that he touched- “ “Yes that is what I said. But I wasn´t talking about the tarts.” Now it was your time to be confused. “But then what…” “You.”, he simply uttered. “Huh? What?”   “I said, you were what I was mad about. That filthy animal was touching you, I couldn´t allow that.” Was he serious right now? “But Riddle, Jack wasn´t touching me inappropriately, he was just trying to help me! It was barely a sliver of a touch!”, you protested. Also... does that mean he saw you as his property? Because that was what the rule implied, wasn´t it? Never touch your ruler´s property! That didn´t sit right with you at all. “That doesn´t matter, he still broke a rule and for that he needed to be punished. How am I going to make people obey the rules when they never get punished for breaking them?” You still didn´t agree with what he was saying but didn´t know what to tell him anymore so you decided to keep quiet and just looked at him with a disappointed glare. Sensing your slight animosity, he rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand in a soothing manner as he tried to calm you down again.
“Okay y/n, I admit, I might have been a bit to harsh to him, so can we please just forget about this and change the topic? I don´t want our first date to start on such a sour tone.” You were begrudgingly going to accept Riddle´s apology, fully aware that it was just in his nature to be a bit strict with rules, until the last part of his statement fully settled in. “F-first date??”, you choked out in shock. Amused by your demeanor, your “suitor” couldn´t help but chuckle.
“That is what I said, isn´t it? If we want people to believe us then we must act more like a couple would, wouldn´t you agree? And one very important part is going on dates with your significant other. Or so I´ve heard. So, let´s make the most out of our shared time together, shall we?” He then reached for one of the two plates you brought along and laid it out in front of him as he put the other one away and meticulously cut a big piece out of the strawberry cake sitting down in front of him. You were about to once again protest, were you not going to get any cake? That was until Riddle dug into the sweet treat with his fork, making sure to gently balance the cut-out chunk on top of the eating utensil as he slowly leaned forward again, fork in hand. You watched him quizzically until the inviting sweetness stopped right in front of your closed mouth as Riddle looked at you expectantly as he softly poked your lips with the fork in an attempt to coax you into opening your mouth for him. “Well?”, he asked with an impatient but also clearly smug expression on his face, “Aren´t you going to open your mouth for me? You don´t want the cake to go to waste, do you?” “Just give me my own pla- “, you were cut off as Riddle used this opportunity to forcefully shove the fork into your mouth and though you were surprised by his sudden impulsiveness you couldn´t help but marvel at the sweet aromas that filled your mouth right in that instant. It was so good, you couldn´t help but let out a pleased sigh.
“See? That wasn´t too hard, was it? And there´s more from where that came from.”, Riddle teased as he cut out another piece of cake with his fork. And though you were flustered beyond belief at his almost out of character behavior, you couldn´t say you minded too much.
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It´s been a week since you two started this arrangement and everything had been going according to plan. It all went so perfectly, Riddle couldn´t help but think. He still couldn´t help but blush when he recalled how bold he had been that afternoon when he affectionally fed you cake and how you had seemed to greatly enjoy it as well after your initial hesitancy. You were coming around to the idea of you two becoming a couple for real, he could just feel it already. He couldn´t wait for you two to get married, the preparations were running along so smoothly now. He had picked out the perfect wedding venue, a breathtaking garden that was filled with beautiful red roses that would create a wonderfully romantic atmosphere, though he did have to admit that he wasn´t the most well-versed person when it came to decorations. He guessed that he just had to ask you for your opinion when he finally brought the joyous news to you that you would get married in just a few days from now! Wasn´t that wonderful? You two would be joined in a harmonious and happy union for the rest of your life! Ah he felt his heart swell with longing and excitement when he pictured you in your wedding attire, waiting for him at the altar to exchange your vows of never-ending and eternal love. He wanted to hear it so desperately, that you loved him just as much as he loved you, that you would never abandon him and spend the rest of your life together in a far away home. It was his dream, the one thing he couldn´t live without. He had sacrificed so much during his childhood, he was never allowed to have free time or spend time with his friends, he wasn´t allowed to eat unhealthy desert, he was forced to always give it his all even when he was on the brink of passing out from exhaustion. He wouldn´t let anyone ever take you away from him, you were way to precious to him. That was exactly why he had to get rid of any potential threats that could endanger your blossoming love, and the very first person on his list of targets was one Ayers Devereaux, that foolish prince that had tried to marry his y/n before Riddle could even confess his love to them. It had thrown him completely out of the loop and taken him by surprise. He had felt panic, anger, sadness, despair. All of these very strong and intense emotions that had almost seemed to overwhelm him at the time. He couldn´t ever risk this to happen again so he had to act quickly. Now of course he couldn´t just let the crown prince of a rising kingdom disappear into thin air, it would have been way too suspicious and he wanted to avoid the political drama at any costs. So instead, he went with a more pacifistic approach. Instead of having that noble murdered in cold blood, he had instead opted to look for a different spouse for him and set the two up. And from what he has heard from his messengers, his operation went successfully, the both of them were now officially engaged and that prince posed no threat to their love anymore. And on top of that, Riddle had been keeping a close eye on you all this time, spending as much time with you as he could and driving away any other possible suitors that might try to take you away from him. It wasn´t too hard to keep noisy people away from you, just one angry glare sent at the offending party and a threatening raise of his magical pen was sure to make anyone run for the hills in fear of having broken another one of the 810 rules he had promised to keep up. And while it normally would have greatly frustrated him in any other situation that no one had truly made the attempt to memorize all of the rules set up by the Queen of Hearts, it proved to be a great asset in this matter. If no one except him knew the rules by heart then he could just make them up as they were convenient to him and no one would dare to oppose the Heartslabyul dorm leader in fear of getting their magic locked away. Truly it pleased Riddle greatly to see everyone turn away from you after just making up a few rules on the spot.
“Rules of the Queen of Hearts No 666: At exactly 4:20 pm on any given day, the ruler is to spend a shared teatime with their significant other for at least 3 hours.”
“Rules of the Queen of Hearts No 69: It is forbidden to look at your ruler´s significant other if they are spending time together.”
“Rules of the Queen of Hearts No 420: You shall not approach your ruler´s significant other without their explicit consent.”
No one dared raise an eye at any of these unusual rules, after all the unusual was expected with the Rules of the Queen of Hearts. It wasn´t hard to believe that these could be actual rules so no one had caught onto him so far. And that just meant he could spend as much time alone together with you as he liked without anyone protesting. As he thought on and on about how everything had been going just as he had planned, he felt his heart speed up drastically as he saw you approach him with quick steps, a wide smile on your face. Coming to a stop in front of him you were left nearly breathless as you collected yourself before meeting his loving gaze with a deliciously joyous expression.
“Riddle! You won´t believe this! We did it!” How amusing, were you talking about the engagement of that noble? He had just been thinking about it as well, did that prove you two were connected in some way? You had to be, otherwise the wild emotions you caused within him didn´t make any sense. He had never felt this way before but he knew he wanted to hold onto this feeling forever. He decided to indulge you for a bit. “What are you talking about? What happened?” “You won´t believe it! It´s about prince Ayers, you know, the one that was supposed to marry me? Well he just announced his engagement to someone else! We are finally free!” And Riddle couldn´t agree with that sentiment more, you were finally free to both leave this academy together and spend the rest of you lives together, he could hardly wait. “That´s good to hear. Of course our plan worked out.” You took a small bow in front of the Rosehearts before making eye contact once more.
“Really, I can´t thank you enough for what you have done for me! You pretended to be in love with me, all so I wouldn´t get married to someone I didn´t want to marry! So, thank you!”
Wrong. You were wrong. Riddle didn´t pretend to be in love with you, this wasn´t just an act, why couldn´t you see that? He loved you so dearly with his entire being, what else did he need to do to prove that to you?
“-so we can finally stop pretending to be in love with each other and go back to being friends!”
What did you just say? Surely you were kidding? “Y/n what are you saying? Go back to being friends? I can´t allow that to happen.” Your face was quick to fall then, slight discomfort crossing your face.
“Riddle, what are you saying? We aren´t really together, you know? It was all just an act to prevent the arranged marriage, you know that, right?”
Riddle couldn´t help but let out a mirthless laugh at that which seemed to unsettle you even further as you tried to take a step back. But he wouldn´t allow you to go away, to leave him. He grabbed onto your wrist and pulled you closer again, your shaking and pulling not deterring him in the slightest, instead only making his grip even tighter.
“You can´t leave me y/n, I love you! I love you so much! This was anything but a game to me so please, give us a chance! Even if you don´t feel the same right now, these feeling could still grow! There´s still hope!” His breath was ragged now as his shoulders heaved up and down as his body shook. A look of sympathy and understanding now formed on your face and for just a moment, everything seemed okay. You wouldn´t reject him, you would stay by his side. It would all be okay. But his fleeting hope was utterly crushed as soon as you opened your mouth again.
“I´m flattered to hear this Riddle, really I am! But I just can´t accept your confession. I´m really sorry but there is someone else I love, it wouldn´t be fair of me to play with your feelings like that. I hope you understand.” Your eyes sparkled in sincerity but for Riddle, it felt like his world was falling apart right in front of him. You liked someone else? Who? WHO? Who could have caught your heart like that under his own watchful gaze? Who had achieved what he couldn´t?
“Y/n, please answer me. Who are you in love with? I NEED TO KNOW!” It shocked both you and Riddle himself how he had practically screamed out the last part of his sentence but he couldn’t be fazed by this at all now that his dreams were being destroyed right in front of him while you tried to take another step backwards. Riddle noticed the way you were tugging at his arm as a sign for him to let you go but he wouldn´t have any of that. You two were destined to be and nothing would come between the both of you.
“Riddle please let me- “
“NEVER! Rules of the Queen of Hearts No. 911: Never ever break up with your ruler! Especially not right after he had spilled all of his precious feelings for you and opened his heart to you, just to be trampled on and bested by some other wanna-be when he would be the way better choice!! DON`T LEAVE ME OR IT`S OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”
“Stop this Riddle please, you´re scaring me!”, you cried out as you kept struggling in his grasp and then… the tears started flowing. The redhead softened his gaze as he saw the tears run down your cheek and he used his unoccupied hand to gently wipe away your tears as he whispered to you with a decidedly calmer tone.
“Shhh don´t worry, everything will be okay! You don´t need to tell me who it is, I will find out myself and then I´ll make them disappear! I know that you are nervous, we are going to get married in just a few days after all but there is no reason to fool yourself into thinking you love another man! So just let me hold you close for the moment until you have calmed down, okay? This was an eventful day for the both of us so let´s just rest.” As he said this, Riddle pulled your shaking form into a tight embrace and then after meeting your eyes with a gaze that could only be described as utterly obsessed, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss onto your forehead.
“It´s okay, it´ll all be over soon. Tomorrow we can choose what kind of wedding cake you want and after that we can get your wedding attire measured out, okay? And then, we can finally get married and leave everything else behind. We can finally be happy together forever.”
“´Til death do us part”, Riddle whispered as he got down on one knee to slip a beautiful golden ring onto your finger, adored with a blood red gemstone that cost half a fortune.
Everything went according to plan.
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cosmicjoke · 3 years ago
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Okay, onto chapter 128 of SnK.  There’s some really huge thematic payoff in this chapter which I want to talk a little about!
The big theme that really comes full circle here is the theme of violence, and how it’s intrinsically linked to the human condition.  That’s obviously a huge theme throughout this entire series, but in a lot of ways it culminates in this chapter.
I first really noticed it in a big way, in terms of having a big impact on the characters, way back in chapter 50 something, during the Uprising arc, in that scene where Jean, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa and Armin are waiting around, and they start talking about Levi and how repulsed they feel by what they perceive to be his unnecessary violence.  They flatly condemn him for it, even going so far as to say there’s something wrong with him, and making bold statements about how they would never kill another person, no matter the circumstances.  This statement of course comes back to bite them not long after, when Armin is forced to kill one of Kenny’s squad in order to save Jean, and Jean begins to understand the impossibility and even selfishness that can be inherent to holding without compromise to one’s moral values. 
That theme comes back in a huge way in chapter 128, and it’s really interesting to see Reiner try to step in and take on the role of martyr by telling the members of the 104th that they don’t need to fight, trying to save them from the moral dilemma of killing their own comrades.  What I found really interesting here was how Jean, Connie, Mikasa and Armin don’t answer at first, and you can see this is a huge struggle for them, the scenario presented before them one which clearly goes against everything they want to believe they’re fighting for.  Connie even says that they’re supposed to be saving people, not murdering their friends, etc...  But it’s impossible to ignore how it’s Hange who steps in and dashes any possibility of them sitting this fight out against the rocks.  They say they aren’t interested in being a spectator, and reminds everyone there that humanity doesn’t have any time left for them to be debating their morality.  This ties back in perfectly with what Levi had spoken to his squad about way back in the Uprising Arc, again, when he told them he doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, and that all any of them can do in any given situation is act in the way they think is best, both for themselves and those they care for, and for humanity as a whole.  We’ve seen Hange come to terms with this blunt and often brutal reality well before this, during the battle for Shingashina, for example.  Hange really began to separate whatever moral qualms they might have had, any emotion they might have had about killing other people, during this arc, and coming to really understand and accept that sometimes morality was something that had to be sacrificed for the greater good.  Here in chapter 128, Hange isn’t interested in or willing to indulge in preserving either their, or anyone else’ moral purity at the expense of the Marlyean group.  They’re in this together, and Hange understands fully that to accept Reiner’s offer of sitting back and watching while he, Annie and Pieck take on the Yeagerists would be the height of selfishness and a prime example of placing one’s own moral purity over the well being of others.  I always think it’s brilliant the way AoT explores these issues, of how an uncompromising loyalty to one’s idea of morality can, in fact, lead to total disaster for others, can in fact worsen the lives of others.  How if one has a moral code they are absolutely, under no circumstances, willing to break, that person often is the one who is most self-serving and self-centered, more concerned with keeping their own hands clean than with helping anyone else.  SnK doesn’t condemn violence, but instead makes very strong arguments for why it is sometimes not only an option, but the ONLY option, and that’s incredibly bold, and incredibly true to reality.  
Armin, as usual, is the first to understand this, after Hange reminds them all.  Armin was also the first, back during the Uprising Arc, to extend understanding towards Levi and his violence, and why he had to at times resort to it.  Armin flat out says here “I refuse to stand by with clean hands”.  He’s acknowledging the selfishness inherent in an uncompromising moral code, and refuses to place himself above the rest of humanity, even if it means once more getting his hands dirty with the blood of other people.  He still comes up with a plan to try and avoid any bloodshed, but you can see Armin is willing and ready in this moment to do whatever is necessary, which he does when he and Connie get into the situation they do with Daz and Samuel.  Armin is the one who tackles Samuel, which is what gives Connie the chance to shoot him.
There’s this huge moment with Levi I want to talk about, after everything goes to shit and Armin’s plan falls apart, where Yelena says “You can’t separate humanity from violence.”  And then she says to Levi “Right, Captain?”, and we get a look at Levi’s face, and once again, he just looks filled with naked despair.  I think these two panels are incredibly important in understanding Levi’s own psychology during this entire final arc.  Yelena is right, for once, when she says you can’t separate humanity from violence.  It’s a part of the human condition.  And she asks Levi specifically about it, because if anyone understands this, it’s Levi, who grew up in a world where violence was often the ONLY option, if one wanted to survive, or protect those they cared for.  But Levi’s saddened expression in the following panel really speaks to his feelings regarding the undeniable truth of Yelena’s words.  Levi knows it’s true, but he wishes desperately that it wasn’t.  I’ve called Levi an idealist over and over, and it’s because Levi is someone who understands the way of the world, and understands human nature, with more clarity and compassion than probably any other character in the series, he understands that violence, pain, poverty, desperation, fear, death, are all a part of life, and especially a part of the human condition, and yet, even with that understanding and acceptance, Levi is also someone who strives towards something better,  towards a world in which these things AREN’T necessary, aren’t inevitable.  Levi has been fighting this whole time in order to try and create a world in which people can live in genuine peace and prosperity, without fear, or violence or inequality.  But every bit of Levi’s life experience tells him and reminds him, day in and day out, of the impossibility of that ideal.  The impossibility of creating a world in which these things don’t exist.  Nothing in Levi’s life would ever lead him to believe true peace and prosperity for all is an attainable dream, nothing in his life which would ever give him real hope in that dream becoming reality.  But still, he fights for it.  This is part of what makes Levi so remarkable.  It’s the very fact that he STRUGGLES to believe in the possibility of a better world, and yet still gives everything of himself to make it a reality, that makes Levi such a hero.  In fact, Levi doesn’t really believe that it’s possible, I don’t think, his life having been too hard and too desperate to fully embrace such an ideal notion.  But, once again, even as he’s riddled with doubt as to it’s attainability, he sacrifices everything he has for the possibility, no matter how slim.   Levi’s naked despair in the panel following Yelena’s question is because he’s being reminded once again of the impossibility of that dream.  Once again, he’s being shown that humanity is incapable of achieving true peace within itself, he’s being shown once again that people are by nature violent and warlike, and that everything he’s fought for seems more and more like a distant and hopeless dream.  Yelena sits in stark contrast to Levi here.  She’s bitterly accepting of the ugly reality, unmoved and unemotional.  She doesn’t care.  She thinks humanity is a worthless mess, unsalvageable and unworthy of salvation.  To Yelena, this is the inevitable result of humanity’s very existence, and to fight for something that unrealistically idealistic is a fools errand.  Indeed, Yelena seems almost to revel in it, the violence serving as affirmation of her beliefs, giving her a sense of validation.  But Levi, beside her, is deeply affected, his pain and sadness openly expressed in his face, his disappointment and heartbreak plain to see.  Levi is HURT by the violence, by seeing it unfold.  Levi, despite knowing the truth of Yelena’s words, despite knowing from the most first-hand experience the brutal and violent nature of human beings, and the improbability of humanity ever achieving true peace, still believes with his whole heart that humanity is WORTH fighting for.  Levi, despite how hard it is for him to believe in actually achieving a better world, still believes that FIGHT is worth an attempt.  And that’s really one of the most vital philosophical difference between Levi and people like Yelena, or Zeke.  Despite knowing and understanding better than anyone the brutal and harsh reality of the world and humanity, to Levi, it’s still something that’s worth fighting to protect, and worth sacrificing for.  Even against his own, weary doubts as to its possibility.  And that just shows a strength of character that is immense.  To be so burdened by doubt, but still to fight with every last ounce of your strength, to give to your very last breath.  That’s Levi.  That strength of character, that unwavering conviction in giving his all to a cause he isn’t at all sure is even possible, is never more apparent than in this final arc, when Levi is in the most literal sense at deaths door, physically wrecked and barely able to even stand, and yet still he fights with everything he has.  That truly is remarkable.  That truly is heroic.
Just one more note.  Floch really exposes himself in this chapter for what he actually is, which is a power freak.  He’s been spouting off this whole time about the Empire of Eldia and saving the island and the people on the island and blah, blah, blah, but during his conversation with Kiyomi, he admits that he doesn’t really believe that the island will be safe, even if Eren wipes out all of humanity, that people will still continue to kill each other, and then he starts in about how what’s important now is for people to “know their place”, as he holds a gun to Kiyomi’s head.  Floch is a power freak, he wants to control other people, wants to dictate to them, wants to hold power over them.  He exposes that about himself here.  He doesn’t actually care about Paradis, or the people on it.  He’s simply getting off on being able to push other people around and make them do what he tells them to.  He’s such a bitch.  It was hilarious when Kiyomi took his ass down and messed his arm up.  
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imagine-loki · 4 years ago
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Hiding in Plain Sight
TITLE: Hiding in Plain Sight
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 11
AUTHOR: wolfpawn
ORIGINAL IMAGINE:Imagine coming from a line of nobility or royalty and being in an arranged marriage with Loki in an attempt to strengthen your kingdom / alliance with Asgard. You’re not entirely on board with the idea but figured that the best you could do was to get to know your fiancé. You form an agreement with Frigga for you to pose as Loki’s personal servant for a few months so you can get to know who Loki really is – beyond the veil of his responsibility to the Asgardian throne, behind all the masks he wears when facing the public, to really know who Loki is behind closed doors as you slowly fall for each other.How long will you keep up the ruse with the God of Lies? 
RATING: General Audience
“Loki?” Frigga looked worriedly at her son who burst into his parents’ shared rooms. “Is everything…?”
“You conspired with that elf against me?” He snapped. 
Sighing, Frigga gave a slight wave to her maids who all left the room. “Conspired is a strong word for it,” Her voice was calm and steady as she rose from her seat. “She wrote, asking of your character and I suggested she get to know you. Tatianna needed time with family and thus, I realised she could get to meet you without you being guarded as I knew you were unsure of the situation and were not likely to open up to her.”
Loki gasped in shock. “So you planned this? You were the one to actually suggest it?” He became more hurt at that revelation. 
“You treat that maid with nothing but kindness, I thought if Raven saw that side of you also, she would see how caring you are. I knew that you would not open yourself as willingly to her otherwise.” “I…” he could not explain his anger, such was its intensity. 
“Loki, I am truly sorry for doing this, clearly, it was a mistake on my behalf. I am genuinely sorry for hurting you so, my son.” She tried to have him look at her so that he would see she was being genuine. “In turn, I also hurt Raven.” Loki scoffed at the mention of the elf. “She is a lovely woman. Bright, kind, a good partner for you but instead, it appears my little idea has hurt you both so.” “Even after what you have done to me, the two of you, you care about her?” “Loki, Raven has had a very restricted life, she only wanted to know if she would be forced to endure the same here. I know you will not believe this but she simply wishes to be happy and knowing I am integral to the suffering of more unhappiness for her is upsetting for me. It does not take for my upset at the hurt I caused you.” 
Loki scowled. Raven’s words came back to him again, of her loneliness and the life she was forced to lead thus far. He didn’t want to feel pity for her. He wanted to loathe her, something quite easy to do with her actions but it still played on his mind. Without saying another word to his mother, he turned to leave. 
“I genuinely believe that given the time, you will see you are well suited, Loki,” Frigga stated. 
“Perhaps we could have been.” Loki acknowledged. “But you scuppered our chances significantly with your idea.” With that, he left the room. 
* Raven sat in her room, the door between her bed chambers and front chambers locked and with a sofa in front of it in case any thought to try and open it. She had been ready for Loki’s ire and remarks, she had long built a thick skin being the youngest of five and with four older brothers, what she had not been ready for was her own words. The idea of sitting alone in her rooms for days on end was nothing new to her, what was new was the knowledge that it would not come to an end. Growing up, she had hoped the day would come that she would have a happier existence. Even as a Ljósáfar wife to a Ljósáfar husband, she could not possibly be forced to remain as she had been growing up. On hearing she was marrying an Aesir, she knew life would be far different and on knowing it was Prince Loki, though she knew little of his demeanour, she knew the Aesir way of life would allow her far greater freedom and she also knew him to be very intelligent, allowing her to fantasise of the many conversations and discussions they could share. The debates they could muster in private in the evenings after court was complete for the day. She had been excited about that. Even if they did not see eye to eye, she had dreamed of debate and conversation where she was not required to remain silent. Instead, now she had ruined any such an idea and would be forced to look at the walls that currently surrounded her for considerable years yet to come and that felt far more daunting than she could ever fathom. It filled her with a dread that made her feel like she would begin to hyperventilate at any moment. She felt entirely trapped. 
Questions swirled around in her mind. Would Loki take a mistress? Would he take many over the years? Would she have to endure dark-haired offspring he sired outside of wedlock to mistresses being recognised unofficially? Would she go to empty rooms every night while his were filled with love, passion and the giggles of a lover? Would she remain alone? Would people whisper how she was not a fit spouse? That she was not up to the task of securing the line of her husband. Or, just as heart-wrenching, would she be forgotten about, again. Only recognised and remembered when she stood in the shadow of the important male she was tied to. 
Thoughts of her perhaps finding love, feeling unconditional love could not come to her, after all, such was preposterous to her current state. She remembered the affections she felt before with Lord Arden. The stolen kisses, the sneaking around and indeed, the illicit actions of it. When it was made clear that she was to wed Loki, he left immediately with no thorough explanation. She always wondered if it was because it hurt too much to see her being wed elsewhere and he wanted a clean break, or after a while, she suspected it was because he realised he would not achieve his goal of a respectable dowry from her and decided to try other women. She was unsure if she had come to that second conclusion in her own mind to placate her feelings or not but that was going to be her excuse to make her feel better, factual or otherwise. 
Curled up with her head on her knees and her arms wrapped around them, she did nothing but think sadly of the situation at hand. 
* “You insulted the Ljósáfar.” 
Thor had Mjolnir ready for what was to come and chuckled to himself as he deflected several knives that Loki tossed his way. 
“You’re never able to aim properly when you are overly angered.” “You said nothing.” Loki’s voice was barely over a hiss. “I was sworn to secrecy.” “By someone you don’t even know?” “By our mother, a being I know even longer than you do,” Thor stated, avoided a blast of magic by using Mjolnir’s own version of such. “Raven only agreed because she wanted to get to know you.” “And that was how she decided to do so?” Loki spat. “Not by engaging me in any manner that would signify any attempt of an honest and healthy introduction?” “Since you failed to answer her three written attempts at such, I cannot imagine she felt she had many other options.”
Loki froze. “What?” “Raven wrote to you. On three separate occasions, and you ignored all three.” 
“No, she did not.” Loki shook his head. “Indeed, she did.” Thor reiterated. “This was confirmed, not only by her but when I asked the Postmaster, he confirmed it. I asked him so I could confirm it because you are not one to ignore a letter and I suspected you would call her a liar to save yourself. Three separate letters, dated months apart so to allow for time to receive and reply should you be otherwise busy, giving you time to do so. All three remained unanswered.” “I received no such letters,” Loki repeated. 
“Well, three were sent from Alfheim, sorted by the Postmaster himself and delivered to your rooms,” Thor informed him. “She tried before now. It is why she had to try and find reports on your personality elsewhere.” Thor slapped his shoulder. “I wanted to warn you. Well, I mostly wanted to warn you. Part of me also wanted to see the look of shock on your face when you realised who she was. That was until I realised what you were saying about her. I told you many times, Loki, this is very hard on her.” 
Loki had been bothered by the supposed letters he had not received until Thor mentioned Raven’s ‘struggle’. “Norns, if I have to hear this again.” He threw his brother’s hand from his shoulder. “Poor Raven, how lonely she has had it. How she had to remain seen and never heard. The Elf I have borne witness to is no such shrinking violet. She literally feels like she has to have the last word, come Helfheim or high water.” 
“Because that is who she is. She feels here like she does not have to be a statue any longer.” Thor argued. “Do not lie for one second and tell me that you want a silent and boring wife because you and I both know you rather lose your life than being forced to wed someone without their tongue. How else could you ever have someone at your beck and call to argue with day and night? I would have thought an opinionated and in your belief, an argumentative wife would have suited you to the ground. I doubt you want a wife that would agree with everything you say without question. Where would be the fun in that?” 
Loki could not argue that point. Nothing would disgust him more. “That does not negate her actions.” 
“She felt she had no choice. Was it something I would suggest? No, but it was for a good reason. She just wanted a good partner.” 
Loki scowled. “And in doing so, ensured she would not get one.” 
“Loki, please. This is going ahead whether or not you are happy about it, so you have two choices, be angry with her for this, accept any and all apologies, learn about her and try and form a healthy and fulfilling marriage with her or continue this animosity and live an unfulfilled marriage. I will soon have to court my betrothed and if the options of both were on the table, I know I would not wish to remain arguing.” “She already made it clear, the hope is to perform some sacred ritual, ensure you and your wife spawn multiple times and stay as far away from me as is physically possible.” 
“Loki, the woman I have spoken to multiple times wants entirely the opposite of that and I know you don’t want to believe it but to her, coming here, having a husband such as you was something she wanted. Sadly, things have gone slightly awry.” Loki began to scoff at his words before pausing. “When has all this conversing been taking place?” “Through her stay here.” Thor kept his answers broad so as to not have Loki sense any dishonesty. 
Loki studied his brother closer. “Like when?” “Do you honestly think I can recall days and times off the top of my head?”
“Do you know where in the palace she is?” Thor tried to think of something to say to argue that but silence or a no would immediately be sensed as a lie. “Why?” “I deserve to know, as her betrothed, surely?” “Not if you are going to add to her loneliness with it.” “Loneli…If I wanted to add to her loneliness, the last thing I would do is ask where to find her, Thor.” Loki scoffed. “Where is she?”
“I am not going to tell you if you are going to use it to add to this farce.” Thor’s declared. 
Loki knew he was telling the truth, much to his own annoyance. “Then leave.” “This is the royal hallway, I don’t have to leave. I live here, same as you.” Thor reminded him. “In your time speaking with Raven, what have you learnt of her?” “That she’s a conniving wench.” 
“No, Loki. In all seriousness, what have you learnt of her? What did it reveal of her knowledge of you?”
“Nothing, she knows nothing of me. Made clear by how she thought to get to know me.” He snapped. “Her way of speaking to me was not to introduce herself but to act like a maid, to scrub toilets and rummage through my belongings. That’s how little she thinks of me.” Loki paused. He had not thought of that previously. She had been privy to all of his belongings. Letters of private matters, items of personal value that he would not have wanted her to see. It annoyed him greatly that she had touched and rummaged through such things.
Seeing his brother getting irritated, Thor decided to alter his train of thought before he focused too greatly on what was annoying him. “So in that time, she got nothing right about your personality? I refuse to believe that because when I discussed the issue with her, I think she got your personality to perfection. The anger, the silent treatment, she even apologised to me for the aggression you would show me, both physical and otherwise.” “That, she did ascertain correctly. That is hardly surprising as it would be considered a normal reaction by most.” Loki dismissed. “I will not repeat myself, where is she?” “You’re repeating yourself saying that to me again.” Thor pointed out. “Until you are willing to speak with her like an adult, I will not tell you.” “You owe me.” “You owe her, considering you never even wrote back when she tried to engage you herself.” Loki said nothing as Thor walked off, leaving him to his thoughts. He walked back to his room and looked at the platter his letters always were placed when delivered to him. There were three there at that time. He walked over and looked around, noting there was nowhere any letter could have fallen for him to not have seen it. 
The Aesir Postmaster was a man of set ways. He was practically devout in how he viewed his role. If a letter went missing in his office, Norns have mercy on the being that moved it. He took the role as seriously as Odin took the role of Allfather. If he genuinely told Thor that there had been three letters from the Ljósáfar palace for him, then there had been. So where were they?
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leefi · 3 years ago
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Starira MBTI II - Siegfeld
These were the most fun to write up.
Seisho
Siegfeld
Frontier
Rinmeikan
Michiru Otori: ENFJ
Oh my woof woof...My evil little girlboss. i love you sooooo soooooo so much. Michiru is fake as fuck and soooooo evil and funny. She's the final entry I'm writing because I wanted to save the best for last.
She is the perfect example of how manipulative and conniving Fe doms can be (we even see a teeny tiny bit of this in Nana - see how she tricks Kaoruko into doing work in their My Theatre conversations). Michiru is also a visionary - she has a very distinct plan for the future that she’s always working towards (aux Ni), but you’d never guess that about her at first glance. She works very hard to maintain an affable, easygoing, approachable persona to contrast with Te dom Akira’s more intimidating and domineering one (dom Fe). I can’t say that I’ve seen her use too much of that tertiary Se, but her Ni and Fe are so strong that I have absolutely no doubt that she’s an ENFJ. We definitely see that inferior Ti struggle to catch up with Akira’s dominant Te reasoning for prioritizing Elysion over the Performance Festival, though, because Michiru’s Ni is thinking so far--too far, she comes to realize--ahead.
I could talk more about how smart and pragmatic and intuitive Michiru is, but we’d be stuck here all day. She’s my evil little girlboss, yes, but she also cares for her friends so much. At the end of the day, she’s an Fe dom, and that mastermind auxiliary Ni comes second - everything she does is to uplift and benefit the people around her. That dominant extroverted Feeling is what allows her to pick up on Akira’s potential from that day in their childhood - and auxiliary Ni instantly begins setting a plan into motion for how to get there. Why doesn’t Michiru try for the throne herself, then? Well, maybe there’s some deep-seated insecurity towards Akira and their relationship that we’re not seeing. It has always intrigued me so much as to why she prefers to work in the background. It would be fine if she truly preferred to stay in the shadows - that’s a normal thing for a lot of people to want, and they thrive there. But I’ve always had the feeling that isn’t quite the case for her…Sometimes she says things that make me think she desires more.
But again, she’s an Fe dom - her mind is geared towards thinking about other people, about what’s best for the group. And we see that once more when she’s perfectly poised to win the Arcana revue against Shiori, when she flippantly remarks at the start that there’s no way in hell that she’s losing to her - but then she sees how hard Shiori is trying, the potential she has to succeed her the role of Frau Saphir one day, how much she’s grown and come into her own and found a cause to fight for, while Michiru is is too far stuck in the future...and dominant Fe stamps that conniving auxiliary Ni down, and she rips off her own jacket for her kouhai.
Akira Yukishiro: ESTJ
Funnily enough, the “extroverted” ESTJ actually tends to be a bit more socially reserved than their “introverted” ISTJ siblings - this is because ESTJs have Feeling in their inferior slot, while ISTJs have it in their Tertiary (compare her to ISTJ Junna, who as a class leader actively goes out of her way to interact with the other girls and make sure everyone’s included, while Akira bothers herself only with the Edels). ESTJ’s extroversion instead manifests in their desire to control, order, and yes, be on top, just like Akira’s ENTJ cousin Claudine. Akira is a Te dom and Si aux, so she’s all about leading by example and doing it by the tried-and-true. This is why she fits so well into the role of the quintessential emperor/king, but as I mentioned with her inferior Fi, doesn’t actually have any charisma beyond what Fe-dom Michiru has manufactured for her (it's explicitly stated that Akira is even more revered than Edels of old - yes, due to her phenomenal and unparalleled talent, but also because Michiru actively works to cultivate an image that makes her untouchable). This is exactly why her relationship with Michiru works so well. It’s only natural that two extroverted judgers aimed for Siegfeld - and absolutely thrive there.
Her tertiary Ne, meanwhile, is why a lot of people (myself included) love her interactions with Yachiyo and Aruru (Ne doms). Akira’s Ne and Fi are weak, but she’s very smart and - contrary to first impressions - isn’t a stubborn person when she trusts the competency of the people around her (Te). And that’s thanks to her Ne. She lives for the stage, it’s her pride and joy, and when she sees people who are doing something that pay ode to it well - whether that’s ENFP Aruru’s excitable and childlike Ne-Fi or ENTP Yachiyo’s more pragmatic and intellectually curious Ne-Ti, she is quick to place her trust in them. Akira surprises the other two school leaders in the event story when she tells them they’d be wise to learn from Karen and Aruru’s senses of wonder, and Yachiyo’s passion for the stage - though wildly different from Akira’s own - is what makes her confident in her decision to pass the throne off to her.
Shiori Yumeoji: ISFJ
A PERFECT example of using dominant Si is when Shiori inhabits the role of the Chariot to draw out the strength and energy she needs during her revue with Michiru - introverted Sensing is all about deriving from past experiences and using them to inform the present!
And she and Tamao are!! The same!! Type!! Which is so interesting to me! ISFJs are so sweet and kind and caring (they and INFPs are actually often mistaken for each other - compare her to Mahiru!) - but there’s an inner fire to them that can be so easy to miss! I can’t think of a single fictional ISFJ I’ve met that didn’t, at some point, become incredibly insane and unhinged! I’m not sure what it is, but if I had to guess I think it’s that inferior Ne showing up, kicking down the door, and going “I’M HEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEE BITCHESSSSSSSSSS”
Anyway - textbook ISFJ. So, so sweet and demure (Si dominant, Fe auxiliary - both are so concerned with standards, group sentiment, how things were done before, how everyone is feeling - so so so accommodating but can end up becoming doormats). We see that Si a lot in her woes towards her sister - “we were supposed to do this, we were supposed to be this,” etc. etc...hell the only reason in the first place that she joins the Edels is because of her original promise with Fumi. Tend to keep their inner thoughts and machinations to themselves (Ti tertiary). Prone to snapping and going insane if they get pushed/bothered too much (Ne inferior) - I legitimately think that Ne is the scariest function to have in your inferior slot. Godspeed, ladies.
Another fun note: she and Yachiyo are polar opposites, something I never noticed until just now. Interesting lmao
Liu Mei Fan: ENFJ
I had to check her PDB page to get her type because I honestly had no clue! She was the most difficult for me! But after seeing her listed as ENFJ I went “...hm?” and then went “oh yeah.”. Because she reminds me of Sonia Nevermind from Dangan Ronpa LMAOOOOO. FORGIVE ME FOR THIS COMPARISON. IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF THE EXCHANGE STUDENT THING!! They just have the same personality type, and it kind of manifests itself in the same way - despite the stereotype being that Fe doms are always very socially conscious and suave, these two are both a quirkier/more awkward type of ENFJ, and at first glance both could pass off as their happy-go-luckier ENFP or ESFP cousins instead...if you’re just looking at the letters. But when you look at their actual functions, they’re both ENFJ as they come! See how different two people of the same type can be?! She and Michiru share a type! Mei Fan is a well-meaning, driven Fe-dom in a strict Si-heavy environment like Siegfeld’s, and it’s SO funny to watch her dominant Fe desperately try to adjust her personality as she goes to fit in properly (while Michiru watches like 🙂 , Shiori is right there with her desperately adjusting (Fe aux), and Yachiyo doesn’t give a shit and does her own thing anyway). Our beloved shimbo has Ti in her last slot which isn’t surprising given her penchant to speak before she thinks, and Se in her tertiary slot which shows up in, again, her physicality (MUSCLEMAN MEI FAN HIGH-INTENSITY JOCK TRAINING IN THE MOUNTAINS). Aux Ni showed itself in that ceaseless determination to become an Edel, and her constant work towards shaping herself into an ideal one to impress Akira (and achieve her own goals in surpassing Akira herself!). Just compare her to dom Ne Yachi, who could care less about any of that stuff and goes her own way.
Yachiyo Tsuruhime: ENTP
“What do I wish for? World peace and happiness for everyone, I guess.” The moment I saw this homescreen quote I knew she was an ENTP - somebody else on her PDB page actually pointed it out too lmao. ENTPs are the “devil’s advocate” type which can lead to ruffling a lot of other peoples’ feathers, but Yachiyo is a bit suaver than that (developed tertiary Fe). Granted, she doesn’t escape the stereotype completely - she has a lot of fun in teasing the Fe-aux and Fe-dom Shiori and Mei Fan respectively, though she would never dare to do the same to Michiru. As we learn through the main story, there’s something that appears insidious about her at first glance - but that’s genuinely all it is, a first impression. She keeps to herself, yes, but Yachiyo’s an actress to the core, and her greatest love is the stage, just like (if not more than) all of the other girls around her. Yachiyo’s unique in that she breaks some of the typical Starira model of seeing her partner as her greatest inspiration - she’s not invested in a person like Shiori is with her sister or Michiru and Mei Fan are in Akira - Yachiyo pursues the stage solely for her own fulfillment and desires. Everything is a curiosity to her (Ne feeding Ti - how can I make sense of this world, and what can I do for myself to gain access to more information and experiences, because I’m always, always hungry for more). Her inferior Si shows up in how much she contrasts Akira, who is an Si-aux - just look at the unconventional way she found to practice her acting (pretending to be a spy snooping on the Edels), compared to Akira’s more conventional methods of stringent, scheduled practice.
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sillyandquiteawkward · 4 years ago
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little father and bayley fic under the cut bc i forgot my ao3 password and im lazy. hope you enjoy
Food supplements and leafy greens sat on Doctor Bayley's plate, which he picked at distastefully. The Director of the Institute, Father, sat across from him, making decent headway with his own meal.
"I don't think I can ever learn to enjoy the food supplements. This flavor isn’t palatable either," Bayley curtly complained with a heavy sigh. He felt Father's lingering judgement upon him for refusing most of his meal again, without even having to look up. He poked at the slab of supplement with the tines of his fork. Even the various flavors the Institute boasted of supplements couldn't save Bayley from the pastes, powders, and bars turning his stomach. He was trying his best to find a flavor he could stand, but to Bayley, even mirelurk was easier to eat. At least the fresh vegetables were decent, if not simply boiled or baked if cooked at all. "I'd kill for some real meat on your menu."
"Come now, Doctor, we have little need to slaughter irradiated animals for food in this day and age. BioScience has developed the perfect meal dozens of times over, consisting of the exact amount of daily nutrients a man like yourself needs," Father replies coolly. Bayley glared at the older man. Of course he'd like them -- he grew up on the damn things. Well, Bayley grew up on real food!
"Designed a food that doesn't even fill your stomach," he mumbled behind his mug as he took a sip. Now to their credit, this was something Bayley actually liked. The coffee wasn't stale 200 year old beans and grounds. My god, they perfected the damn synthetic coffee and Bayley couldn't imagine going back.
Father confidently smirked, passing smoothly over Bayley's remark with a gentle shake of his head. "You poor surface dwellers, eating any and all the food you can scrounge to stave off hunger. I'm glad we were able to save you from that life. Give it time, Doctor. Your stomach will re-adjust to your new diet."
Bayley scoffed dismissively and set his fork down to keep nursing his coffee. Father took his own sip of tea. The pair fell into a dip of silence, accompanied by the gentle clink of silverware against plate as Father continued to finish off his lunch. Behind them a few tables over, there was a slight chatter from another pair of scientists in the cafeteria. Licking a crumb of food supplement left on the edge of his mug with a grimace, Bayley listened to their distant hushed conversation. Sounded like gossip about another scientist’s love affair... Hard to believe that even the “perfect” Institute could be filled with, what was ultimately, humans.
Father spoke up after a minute of Bayley straining to eavesdrop, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Doctor?"
"...Why?" Bayley eyed Father suspiciously. "Don't you already know all about me? Isn't that why I'm here?"
Father took a warm sip of his mug before continuing. "I know about your reputation, or lack thereof." Bayley all but growled at the dig. "And I know you care deeply for the progress of humanity, as do I, albeit a tad misguided. You’re a highly intelligent man, Doctor, but I'm afraid I don't know about you, personally. I'd like to remedy that."
What could Bayley tell Father about? Why should he? Oh, but he loved to talk about himself... Bayley leaned back in his chair with folded hands in his lap, food left forgotten on his plate. "What is there to say? I'm a man married to his work, who likes breathing fresh air. On the surface."
“What got you into studying radiation?” Bayley noticed Father missed his complaint, or at least was ignoring it. “Surely you didn’t set out from the start on such a dangerous fascination.” Father had a look of curiosity on his face that seemed genuine to Bayley, although he still had suspicions this had ulterior motives.
“It was almost from the beginning actually. As I studied medicine in my youth, traveling along the Wasteland, I have to admit,” Bayley paused to consider his wording. “I had a distinct admiration of the ghoul’s ability to utilize radiation to build themself anew. The destructive power of radiation makes using it dangerous and even deadly, true, but I imagined a world where we could manipulate the human body to replicate how a ghoul’s body uses the gamma particles destructive properties to heal themselves, sans the ghoulification process of course.” Okay, so maybe he planned to be cagey, but Father just had to ask him about the thing he’s devoted his entire life to. Sorry, he’s gonna get excited. “I’d seen first hand ghouls reattach long lost limbs to themselves and remain functional, ferals even being brought back to life by glowing ones’ radiation bursts, and the stories of people growing functional limbs from radiation exposure caught my particular attention at a young age.”
“Fascinating things ghouls are, although their rotten brains and appearance are less than desirable. If anything their longevity is what catches my attention. Living over hundreds of years...” Father drifts off, looking past Bayley. “Imagine what one could achieve with that extra time.”
“Living forever doesn’t matter if you aren’t healthy,” Bayley corrected. “What’s the point of living if you are just suffering every day. I’m focusing myself to helping people in this day and age, instead of chasing functional immortality.”
“Maybe that’s the difference between us,” Father sighs. “Everything I do is for tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow. Humanity's future lies in our successor’s hands. It’s a shame we cannot directly work with our future generations to combine our knowledge. All we can do is help prepare them for when we are gone.”
“Eventually people in charge need to step down and let the fresh ideas in, otherwise we’ll collectively stagnate. We are stubborn creatures who hate change, snuffing out ideas that contradict our own. If someone like you lived forever, he’d never give up the reins.”
“I suppose you’d do the same,” Father states blandly, eyes half-lidded. “As you said, we are stubborn creatures.”
Bayley sputters, sitting back up in his chair. “No, I am the innovator in this scenario! I’ve been ostracized for my ideas, kicked out and shunned. No one sees my potential to change the world!”
“And in your age, have you begun to prepare an heir to your scientific knowledge, Doctor? Or do you think you can finish this chronicle yourself, with the few years left in your life?”
“I-I have to prove myself first! No one trusts my work because they don’t see the proof -- which I was working on when you so kindly stole me away from my clinic and subjects!” Bayley hissed, gripping the edge of the table.
Unphased, Father folded his hands on the table. “I trust your work, Doctor Bayley. I’ve seen your studies, seen what you can do when you are truly devoted to a cause. This is why I wanted you with us at the Institute. I want you to share your knowledge to us, so that we may pass it to the future with us. Let us help you ensure your legacy. We have the same goals, and we even have similar methods if you can believe it. Imagine what we can do together when we combine our knowledge, for humanity’s sake.”
Bayley raised an eyebrow at that. “Similar goals perhaps, but I wont be a part of the kidnapping and killing of Commonwealth citizens. You Institute folk are outrageously barbaric for all your self-righteousness.”
“We simply know how to weigh the importance of breaking a few eggs for the omelette. You too understand this principle closely, don’t you?”
Bayley grimaced flatly. “You truly know how to charm a man to your side.” This conversation was over if Bayley had anything to say about it, which he did. He gulped from his mug, keeping it up to his mouth as he turned physically away from Father. He’ll finish this and go back to his room. Trapped in the Institute with these madmen, forced to go along with things else suffer the same fate as the hundreds of others taken to the Institute. And Father had the gall to act like they were the same, that Bayley could excuse innocents murdered for “science.” He slammed the mug back onto the table.
“I hope you’ll understand one day soon, Doctor. I really do.” Father sighed, closing his eyes in defeat as Bayley stood up.
“I don’t want to understand,” Bayley said as he stormed past Father back to the concourse.
It was too much to think about, if Bayley was being honest with himself. He grit his teeth climbing the stairs, tense. A scientist descending the stairs stood to the side as Bayley passed, clearly wanting to give the angry man some space and avoid any conflict. Good. If he was to stay here, people should give way for him. Now if only Father was like that. He passed a pair of expressionless generation two synth guards eyeing their laser weapons as he ascended the next flight.
God, he was annoyed. Of course Father had to go ruin another meal together talking nonsense of Bayley hurting others. He tried his best not to hurt his subjects -- everyone was willing and importantly, no one had died under his care! Sick perhaps in the early days... but it wasn’t death! Bayley couldn’t stand the idea his great idea could possibly kill others when it was supposed to be helping them. If he was ever responsible for someone’s death...
Bayley slid open the automatic door to his small, barren room. It was just a simple bed and desk, which was plenty for Bayley, but he wished he had his trinkets and such if he was going to be living here until the day he dies. He collapsed onto the stiff bed, face pressing against the cool pillow. He missed his couch. He missed his clinic. Bayley even considered he missed being annoyed by Jonathan and Jay’s antics. Jay would try his best to cheer him out of this spiraling train of thought, and Jon would know plenty of things to distract him with.
If he was ever responsible for their deaths, Bayley considered he’d quit on the spot. He’d probably become deeply depressed until he really did just curl up and die, however fast it came after. All his life’s work to save humanity, and he’d killed the only people who trusted him most to do so.
But the truly terrible part of him hidden away deep in his heart wondered that if someone was to die as a result of his work, perhaps even if he wasn’t working willingly with the Institute, that he'd simply wouldn’t care.
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