thinking about how kim dokja thinks he's alone in the world and there is no one in the world who understands him or can possibly understand him.
but. there yoo sangah is. yoo sangah who discusses literature with him. yoo sangah who understands kim dokja bc she is very perceptive about people and very empathetic and also bc they have the kind of friendship where words aren't needed. yoo sangah who read every book in the library about kim dokja bc she was genuinely interested in her friend's life and bc she wanted to understand him. yoo sangah who figured out it was 49 and not real kdj and figured out what he did but didn't say a word bc she understood and respected his decision even though she wanted her friend back more than anything.
yoo sangah who witnessed his mundanity and monstrosity both, and loved him either way. loves him despite every irredeemable quality he thinks he has. yoo sangah who wants to be his best friend in every lifetime and live together right next to each other. yoo sangah, his best friend who understands him without words.
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In response to your post about radfems and men, a few years ago I started going down the radfem rabbit hole, a lot of this came from being in a community of men who actually /were/ psychopaths, along with having a father and grandfather who were too. I have PPD as well, so seeing these men act this way and having radfems whispering in my ear "All men want to kill you, all men want to kill you" was DETERIORATING me like acid. I cannot describe to you the hell I was living in each day due to paranoia eating away at me. It felt like my own spirit was a chain link fence turning into rust.
Then I met my husband, and he completely changed my life. And yes I know women can save themselves, we aren't all damsels in distress, but I honestly /was/ too bad off to just pull myself out of it. Since fear of men was the biggest thing killing me from the inside out, a man coming along and showing me that I can both trust people AND at least some men, seriously subdued a massive chunk of my rage, hatred and fear. And he really goes above and beyond too! Every problem I have had he has helped me to fix, along with showing me how to do things myself. Some people may not like that it was a man who "rescued" me, but I don't owe it to anyone to be an idyllic girl power success story, I owe it to myself and to our son to not be a terrified wreck.
I mean I have always suspected that radfems and terfs were like this.
Like my going theory is that if you believe men are irredeemable monsters who can only hurt other people all the time, you clearly don't have good relationships, with anyone at all.
That kind of mistrust of your fellow human beings comes from a well of hurt and paranoia that you're not addressing properly.
I'm glad you found someone to help and love you, though. And I don't think it's anti feminist to need someone to rescue you either.
what's so wrong with being saved, no matter who or what does it?
nice metaphor with the chain link fence btw. that'll live on in my mind for a bit.
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abt the job ref post: yeah you gotta lie sometimes. me nd my other autistic friends (2) use each other after giving the other a script (“theyre looking for xyz traits in a new hire so tell them im yzx” “okay sure when will they call”). however the key thing here is that the former job/reference didn’t leave a paper trail i.e. you volunteered. you weren’t paid. you interned. etc. in the end we’ve both used it for service jobs and internships since these places dgaf abt prior experience if the reference was your “first.” added note: mitigate ur friend ‘overselling’ you. imo they should have a copy/outline of 1)the job posting 2)ur job app nd 3)whatever else you submitted. the employer over the phone won’t give the reference person brain teasers but their answers should lead the employer to *believe* you’re a good fit. full disclosure i cannot say how this would go over for more serious positions but hopefully you find enough stepping stones to turn into real references. gb hope this helps.
i dont have anyone to lie for me ;_;
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Thinking about IDW Optimus again and the fandom's aversion to even acknowledging he exists bc he's a cop or whatever and like. Most of the time people literally just replace him in fic with some white bread knockoff archivist/librarian, not even bothering to keep in IDW OP's personality (which just bolsters my theory that the problem isn't him being a cop the problem is that he's too multifaceted but I digress).
And it's annoying because you could totally write IDW Optimus as not a cop while still keeping his canon personality. You just have to realize that the reason IDW OP became a cop in the first place is because his formative experiences when he was young shaped him to basically have two priorities: 1. To help people and 2. To do it by being on the ground actively doing something about the bad things happening to people.
IDW OP would not be a fucking librarian or archivist because even though those are noble pursuits that can help people and change the world, and Optimus is educated/smart enough for the profession, he wouldn't be satisfied just teaching people or spreading information about activism or social-historical studies or whatever. He's a mech of action: he needs to be doing things right now, in front of him, to people he sees/interacts with in his own eyes, improving society with concrete actions rather than indirect action or abstract inspiration.
So basically the alternate job ideas I can think of for IDW Optimus are something like being a firefighter (or any first responder really) or even whatever the equivalent would be to international charity organizations, those ones that send volunteers across the world to do stuff like build housing/infrastructure or distribute food or whatnot. I mean I can't imagine that the equivalents to these things would be exactly the same in IDW Cybertron, so you'd have to get a little creative with it, but these are just some ideas of jobs that would fit IDW Optimus' personality while still filling the niche of "not a cop" for people who are just that opposed to it.
Though I think the revulsion against coptimus is annoying in general tbh because IDW is already a continuity that rejects the idea of easily defined good/evil people or groups. It feels like people really want Optimus to be a good person in a very sanitized and academically approved way, so he has to be nice and squeaky clean but also like, a perfect leftist who knows theory and holds the most progressive opinions on every single issue....
There is no room for the idea that good people join bad institutions, there's no room for the idea that the reason people think cops are good guys who help people is bc of the government propaganda everything is saturated with. Hell there's even later issues of the Optimus Prime series by John Barber where Optimus like, MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES, is shown in flashbacks grappling with the fact that he as a cop/Zeta's regime that he works for might not actually be improving society like they say they are, and dealing with the fact that he feels more like a lesser evil compared to the Decepticons (perhaps not "lesser" at all).
It's like there's this idea in fandom of like, fictional media and opinions on media having to strictly adhere to progressive ideals at all times. So people just go "cops bad, this character is a cop, therefore they suck" without being willing to engage with the idea of like. IDW OP is born wanting to fight injustice and protect people -> a good way to protect people is to fight the people who are hurting them and committing crimes -> surely following the law is a reliable moral code to guide him in this -> becomes a cop because he's been indoctrinated into a society (much like our own) where he was told that the state/the law exist to protect the people and being a cop means you get to fight bad guys that hurt people. There's really so many interesting concepts there that could be (and CANONICALLY IS) explored about how good, well-intentioned people can be led to harmful actions simply because they have been fed the idea that the things they're doing are good/helpful/noble. Which is especially important for a character like Optimus, I think, who has a cultural icon status as The Irrefutable and Perfect Good, so it's really important actually to use IDW Optimus as an example of how even the most noble people you know have held problematic beliefs or done bad things at some point in their life. You know, because no one is born perfect and ideologically pure, and in fact society is constructed in exactly a manner to make people drink the kool-aid and believe that the systems designed to hurt them/others are just a normal, if flawed, society.
I mean the writing in IDW literally has Optimus deal directly and indirectly with the harm he's done as a cop and how people don't/didn't trust him because of that. I don't know what the fuck else this fandom wants if the source material literally saying "OP realizes that cops suck and he hurt people and earned their disdain by doing the things he did" doesn't stop them from going EW cop bastard sucks and is the worst Optimus. Like the narrative barely stops short of outright saying ACAB and Optimus himself would agree with this sentiment.
At that point, the collective fandom beef with IDW OP isn't because he's a cop and the narrative didn't do enough to condemn that. The problem is literally just that people don't read and don't care
TLDR: Consider the fact that good people can do bad things sometimes especially when living from birth in a corrupt society that thoroughly disguises its vices/oppressive structures as completely normal parts of existence
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I'm looking at 2009 vettonso pics with cofi rn and they're so AUGHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Seriously like, calm before the storm, they don't know what's going to happen in the following seasons, they're quite cute with each other, etc. Actually their dynamic in these is similar to what they were like in the later years but the difference of "not knowing what's gonna happen yet" vs. "they've been through so much together and have both come out on the other side."
I mean I'm so vettonso-brained rn, as you know, so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it's like, Fernando looking at Seb like "hmmm who is this rookie, he reminds me of myself when I was in his position"
STOP BEING SO SOFT, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME 😭😭😭
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