#thinking about 2 masks finding each other decade after decade age after age

[koukaaa-descent]

Infinity is only worthwhile if there are others to share it with

[imagine-lcorp]

Perfect Sense (Part I)

Request

Soulmate AU, please? (With A/B/O you're comfortable?) Fem!Reader (or Gender-Neutral) hasn't experienced much in her life, other than the experiments CADMUS had done to her shapeshifting powers. All she knew of the world outside the facility was what she'd learnt in the stories a sympathetic scientist would sometimes tell her when she was still a kid, to calm her down during testing. After 2 decades the scientist had enough and helped her escape, landing her in the arms of another Luthor.

A/N: Aaaand here another request you guys, writing a few fics in parts due to how long they get to be at the end. Thank you to the lovely person that sent this one, I'm sorry it's been ages, i still hope you can enjoy it. Love you guys

Lena Luthor x Fem!R/Shapeshifter//Word Count: 2,413

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"Subject C-308, ready for testing." A voice sounded through the speakers of the room and immediately the lights went on, blinding your eyes.

You couldn't use your hands to cover your face. They were tied to your sides with restrains to the medical bed you were laying on. It was the same with your feet, where the restraints were even tighter. Silhouettes started to moved and hoover above you, all covered in masks, blue suits and white gloves, looking down at you.

"Phase one of Project Lykaon, subject C-308, ready for intervention." A deep voice, from one of the silhouettes said. "All things set. Ready to start protocol."

"Initiate procedure." The same voice of the speakers sounded and the figures above you started to move.

You would have wished to tell them about the lights, how bright they were and how they hurt your eyes. About the ties around your wrists and feet, how uncomfortable they were, but the gag in your mouth didn't allow it and before you could even think of making a sound, it all went dark.

That was one of the first memories you ever had in your life, and it looked almost the same for the rest of it. It was all uncomfortable restrains and chains, white walls and white lights, the constant smell of antiseptic and cleaning products, knives, syringes, and endless surgical procedures. With no contact outside four walls of that place that felt more like a cage.

A cage fit to held the animal you were sure you were becoming.

After each intervention, after each transformation, with this savage instinct inside of you always in the edge of taking control. You were more beast than human, they used to say and you almost believed them.

But Dr. Jeremiah wouldn't have any of it. He was a different memory, a kinder, softer reminder that you were indeed human. The only person to ever treat you with compassion.

Before your interventions, on those terrible moments when you felt the anger and fear building up inside of you, threatening to tear to shreds anyone that dared come near you, he would come to talk you down. Dr. Jeremiah seemed to understand, how you would have done anything to put a stop to it. The numbness, the tiredness, the overwhelming sensations and pain that came each time after you were taken out of your room. But he would talk to you, speaking softly, assuring you you were going to be just fine, because you were stronger than you thought.

He would come after the operations to check up on you, sitting beside your bed with a worried expression, telling you stories about what awaited for you in the outside world, a world that was bigger than an operations room and your own. A world full of wonders like grass, sunsets, the sunshine, flowers, snow, and love. Whatever those things were.

"What's love?" You have asked once. He had paused then and thought for a long moment.

"Love is when two souls find and want each other." He had explained.

"What's a soul?" You asked then.

"It's something inside of you. The strongest part of you, (Y/N)" He smiled, only he called you with a name. "Your soul is everything you feel, and when you feel something so strong for someone else that means you have found your soulmate."

"A soulmate." You have whispered and frowned, still unsure of that idea.

"You will know it when you see them. It will feel as if you have known them all your life and everything you have been through will make sense." At that moment you had been too young to understand what he meant, but you would do it in due time.

Years passed, you became older but he kept telling you those stories. The ones you liked more where about the people. People that didn't hurt others just because they had the power to do it. He would even speak highly of one scientist he knew, so different from the ones you had met so far. A woman he had met time ago, someone so kind and loving that you liked to imagine her sometimes too and dream about meeting her in the outside world, to finally know something else apart from the nightmare that was being trapped there.

The dream came true a decade later, when you had grown up so much that it took them more and more people to control you. Dr. Jeremiah had been right, you were stronger and even stronger than they thought you were. That was one of the few joys you had then, besides the stories Dr. Jeremiah retold for you. Your powers grew too, the size of your body as you transformed, the length of your claws and teeth, the range of your sense of smell, the vision of your eyes. More powerful than the child you had been once.

Still, it wasn't enough for them.

"I think you enjoy your time with her a little too much, doctor." The voice of a woman caught your attention as you tried to fight the numbness of the strong sedatives.

You had been injected after being taken to the testing room, after finding out you could take three men with a single swing of one of your clawed hands, to keep you under control.

"I'm just trying to be comforting. Seems to help with her neural responses." Dr. Jeremiah was as indifferent as he could be.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that for much longer." The satisfaction in that woman's voice was noticeable and also the way you seemed to respond to her, with a terrible feeling of submission that was difficult to shake compared to any other people. You never felt like that in the presence of Dr. Jeremiah. "Project Lykaon has been terminated. She will be taken to another facility, and you can perform her last surgical procedure if you are that attached to her."

"Are you sure you want to dispose the only test subject that has survived all the interventions, Lilian?" His word came with a hint of outrage and concern. "With her powers she could still-"

"I spent too many resources already on this project, doctor. Besides, she's still incapable of following directives from her superiors, even when she seems compliant at first. And we can't do much with only one successful specimen, can we?" The woman cut him off and there was a moment of silence before she spoke again. "There's no need for more interventions. She will be taken tomorrow. After her autopsy, we will see which parts of her can be salvaged."

After the conversation was over, you tried to open your eyes looking for Dr. Jeremiah but he wasn't there anymore. You felt a certain heaviness in your chest, but you couldn't dwell on it as the sedatives finally won over you.

You woke up after a deep slumber restrained to a metal bed, only wearing a simple set of pants and shirt. As your senses returned you noticed you were being transported through the dark narrow hallways of the facility you had known all your life, but there was something different this time. You still felt a fog clouding your mind and the heaviness in your chest came back. It lessened when you heard Dr. Jeremiah's voice, who was talking with the armed men that transported your bed, giving them instructions on where to take you.

You moved your head, trying to catch a glimpse of the place you were going and noticed those weren't the usual turns and hallways you had grown accustomed to. When Dr. Jeremiah noticed you were awake, he put a hand on your shoulder to calm you down.

After a moment the movement stopped, you were left looking at the ceiling while Dr. Jeremiah talked with the men. He convinced them of leaving you and him alone for a moment, before they had to put you in the van. The men left without much complain, and the doctor seized the moment to act.

"(Y/N), listen to me." He rushed to try to loosen up your restraints. "I'm not letting them take you. You understand?"

The only thing you could do was nod as he kept moving, loosing the restraints on your naked feet and hands.

"You must remain on the bed. Don't move until I tell you to." You nodded once again. You saw him then take a vial and a syringe from his pocket and prepare it. "This will counteract the sedative in your system, you will be more alert in a few minutes, but remember, don't move."

He had injected you just in time before the armed men came back. They pulled your bed around and finally pulled you into the back of an armored van. They sat around you, two men at each side, guns in hand, along with Dr. Jeremiah on your left, who kept an eye on you at all times. As the vehicle started to move you also started to feel less and less numb with each passing minute. You were aware of each bump of the road, hear the sounds of the city in the distance, and your sight adjusted to what was around you as you squinted your eyes to see, trying not to get noticed. Just when you felt like your body was completely awake, you started to wonder what Dr. Jeremiah would do. Not much time had passed but the minutes felt like hours as you tried to be still.

Then you saw movement. Dr. Jeremiah was pulling something out of his pocket, and you opened your eyes to see him better. He looked at you, nodding slowly and with a fierce expression. Almost like telepathy you understood, you had to get ready, and in a second everything turned into chaos.

Dr. Jeremiah, in a faster move than you thought him capable of, pulled a teaser and attacked the man next to him. Almost immediately the rest of the men responded raising their guns at him. However, they didn't expect you to act as quickly as them or even you breaking your restraints so easily.

You grabbed one of the men with your right hand by his bulletproof vest and tossed him against the other one. Your strength, without the need of transforming, was enough to leave them on the floor. You didn't get the change to feel pleased with your work as a deafening bang went off on the left side of your head. You screamed as you raised your left hand towards the last man remaining, ignoring the ache in your head you managed to slash his side and right arm with your nails, now turned into claws. He had tried to eliminate you, but Dr. Jeremiah had managed to push him before he could do it.

The van stopped abruptly and took a sharp turn that made you fall from the metal bed. With your restraints already loose, it was easy to free yourself from them but as you tried to recover from the fall you felt a dizziness making it hard for you to stand up. A hand on your arm pulled you up. Dr. Jeremiah was on your side hurrying you up before the back doors opened. You couldn't hear his exact words but it didn't matter, with the adrenaline running once the back doors opened and you looked at two other agents pointing at you with your guns, you went feral.

Bullets flew the moment the agents saw the enormous black figure lunching at them, but your white sharp teeth showing as you growled and your black nail claws heading straight for their heads were enough to put a final stop to it. You jumped out of the van, leaving two more bodies behind you. A couple of bullets managed to hit you in the chest and arms but you would be recovering quickly, interventions had been done to make sure it didn't take too long.

Dr. Jeremiah jumped out of the van a moment later, gripping his shoulder. You smelled his blood and approached him with a hint of worry in your transformed face.

"It's alright. I'm okay." He smiled softly at you and looked around the streets. They were empty and there seemed to be no people around. "You have to go now. More will be on their way."

You protested with a whimper.

"I'll be okay, don't worry about me." Dr. Jeremiah moved his hand to one of his pockets an pulled a small piece of black fabric. "Run and don't stop. Not until you find her."

You came close to it, sniffing the fabric he held for you. Many scents were mixed on it, from Dr. Jeremiah, from the woman he had talked before, and another you couldn't identify. It wasn't as different from the woman, but it was distinctive enough you believed you could find it without confusing the two. You guessed you had to search for another woman and, feeling like it was a sort of treasure hunt, you let yourself imagine you would find that scientist he had talked about to you years ago.

But doubt filled your head as you looked at him, wondering what would happen to him once you left. There was also that pressure in your chest once again, as you thought what awaited in the outside world now that you had the chance to leave all this behind. All, including him.

"I have to stay." Dr. Jeremiah said catching his breath. He raised his good arm at you, caressing the black fur of your head with his hand as a way of last goodbye. "You go now, (Y/N), go and don't look back."

You pressed your head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. The last comforting sound you heard before screeching tires approached in the distance. They were coming for you. You had to leave.

You ran, darting into the shadows of the city, focusing on the memory of the scent Dr. Jeremiah had given you. Moments later you heard shots behind you, but you had been too long gone for them to even catch the sigh of you. You hoped those hadn't been directed to the doctor instead.

You used all your strength and speed to wander between warehouses and factory buildings to reach the urban lights on the other side.

[llycaons]

sangcheng for the ask thing hehe

okay I promised to be nice so I'm going to give this some sincere effort but I want everyone to know I need to take some deep breaths before responding to this because truly I personally dislike it very much based on the opinion I hold of jc and nhs respectively and my utter conviction that jc's cishet and nhs has higher standards but I do like my s/c mutuals so that being SAID

this is objectively THE best jc ship, and probably the best nhs ship of the popular ones. they're childhood friends who drift apart and come back together much later in life as very different people, and one is struggling after decades of his life have been recontextualized and he has to grapple with 1. Being Wrong and 2. Loving a Family Member Who Might Have Left Him Forever and the other one is drifting along with no ambitions or goals besides strengthening his sect after a decade-long revenge plot was carried out successfully, probably still grieving the only family he ever had. they have some things in common, like losing cherished older brothers (though both have conflicting feelings about said brothers, to varying degrees), they both became sect leaders at younger ages than they wanted, and they're both quite terribly alone. their innocence has been burned away for so long. and both of them also avoid being vulnerable around people - nhs masked in a facade of incompetency, and jc sheltered in his walls of anger and insecurity that he's been building for decades. nhs couldn’t afford it with the political games he was playing, and jc sees it as a weakness that hits at the still deeply wounded core of him.

but they're childhood friends. maybe after a little time when jc is working his way to behaving with compassion and respect, and rebuilding his relationship with wwx, he meets with nhs and they both see in each other some of that old affection from their childhoods. drinking in secret and sneaking away to goof off and telling jokes. maybe they start visiting each other more, because they both like the company and because ~it’s for sect business~ and maybe it turns into something stronger, and more permanent. maybe after years of solitude and training jc likes nhs's calligraphy and collection of birds. maybe after years of lying and politics nhs likes jc's blunt honestly and sarcasm. maybe they both find someone to love after they've lost so much and they have so little left. that's what I think of, when I try to imagine what this relationship could be. and that could be really nice for the two of them

[spoookfest]

34  +  35   by   ariana  grande   is  something  that  resonates  with   olivia  ‘liv’  espinoza.  the  tennis  coach  is  glen  ellen's  very  own   defrosting  ice  queen,   who  has  been  in  town  for  her  entire  life.  while  they  are  only  twenty - eight,    they  can  be  very   oblivious    but  if  their  friends  mentioned  them,    you'd  think  they  were  more  outgoing.   in  a  town  where  every  one  knows  everyone,    it's  hard  to  keep  a  secret,     but  i  think  the  killer  knows  that  [ ? ? ? ],     and  it's  bound  to  get  out  sometime  soon.   i  wonder  if  the  killer  also  thinks  of   dark  hair  that  falls  effortlessly  into  place,  the  sound  of  acrylic  nails  on  your  phone  screen  &  pink  rolling  paper   like  i  do,    when  i  think  of  them.

𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐋.

full name: olivia espinoza

nicknames: liv (preferred), livia

age: 28 years old

gender, pronouns: trans woman, she/her

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: tennis coach

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇.

triggers!! implied suicide attempt

⥼ olivia was born into a family of money; they've been in glen ellen for generations upon generations and have developed status and respect among the community ⥼ during the first murder, the espinoza's relied on their wealth and status to keep them alive . . . and it worked! whether or not they were even a target in the first place was out of the question. in their eyes, they all remained alive and had their family name to thank for that ⥼ olivia takes after mommy dearest in just about every way possible; paloma espinoza (aka the mommy in question) was not only prom queen during her senior year but she was also a total bitch; the queen bee of glen ellen high school. and olivia most definitely embodied the rich bitch stereotype all throughout school ⥼ (tw start) it wasn't until she was indirectly responsible for one of her victim's ending up in the hospital did she start to realize just how much she was hurting people. why had she been doing that? - was it to please her mother? to mask some sort of insecurity? the day after finding out a victim was being hospitalized, olivia started going to therapy. she didn't want to be a part of the reason glen ellen was hurting . . . and she's starting to think that she never wanted to in the first place (tw end)

⥼ present day, olivia is still kickin' in town. she lives in a pretty nice apartment located downtown and has a siamese cat name lillie; she's also still in therapy. with the recent murder, the espinoza's (including olivia) a re once again relying on their wealth and status to remain untouchable.. we'll see how long that lasts

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐒.

⥼ the victim, 0/2: in school, you were a victim of olivia's relentless bullying. you were humiliated and hurt beyond words; whatever she could do to make your life a living hell, she did. olivia has tried to make amends and right her wrongs - whether or not you truly forgive her is up in the air

⥼ the best friend + roommate, 01: you and olivia have been best friends for.. as long as either of you can remember. it only made sense for the two of you to live together when you were old enough and by now, you've been living together for almost a decade! there are ups and downs as per any usual friendship but at the end of the day, you two love each other like family

⥼ the mutual dislike, 0/1: no matter how hard either of you have tried to get along (which honestly probably wasn't even that hard), the two of you simply cannot see eye to eye on anything; it's honestly pretty humorous because you both find anything to bicker about

⥼ the past romance, 0/2: how things ended and whether or not the relationship was happy + healthy is up in the air. whatever the reason was, the spark fizzled out. you two remain on good (or relatively good) terms and are able to look past the awkwardness of being ex-lovers

⥼ the awkward one night stand, 0/1: one night and one too many drinks ended with olivia in your bed. the morning after, she slipped out without as much as a text or a note.. it's been a while since that happened but olivia can't help but still get tense when she sees you. it's still so damn awkward

⥼ anything and everything!! please plot with me ♡

[baya-ni]

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

[divinefireangel]

au: vampire Hwiyoung x human reader, lovers?

Finally doing this.... ✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧ʸᵃʸ

Ok tbh I think I went wayyy to overboard with it but I love vampires and SF9 so eh. Also I have no clue what's going on in here 💀💀💀💀💀. Sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted op 🥺. I tried *pouts*.

Warnings: Fluff mostly. Vampirey stuff. Sex stuff 👀. Blood drinking. Angst? Death. Sickness. Puking. Like 2 lines. Ahh very long 😂. Should've probably written it as a fic but oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️. I think this also is kind if like a soulmate au. Lmk if I need to add more.

So cocky.

That's all I'm seeing 😂

He's the kind to have any human or vamp do anything for him, with him, etc, etc.

A fairly famous vampire, amongst all of the ones who exist

Loves travelling the world

Meeting new people

Trying new things like food, kinks, new blood types too.

Lives for the thrill of almost getting caught

Flashes his red eyes when he wants to peak someone's curiosity in him

He's all mysterious and that's just so infuriating to not want to get to know him

But he doesn't let anyone get close

He knows it's not right to turn someone into a vampire

He'd never do that

Also he took a vow with his first and last love, to be each other's only forever

But alas, first loves never last

And neither did his

The vow however, lasted longer than the life of his first love

It was to never fall in love with a human again

For he was the one who had completely drained his first love, of their blood, to complete his transition

The realization of what he'd done hit him too late

So the vow was kind of an untold tension hanging in the air, that just grew with every passing second as Hwiyoung drained his lover's blood

He masks his sorrow, with cockiness

But all of his resolve wavered when he saw you

Just laughing, minding your own business

Talking with your friends in the cafe

Your hair flowing with the wind

Laugh echoing it's way to his heart

For once, in his long long life, he didn't just want someone, he longed for them.

After centuries of sad loneliness, he saw you

He heard your heart beat steadily as you spoke with much enthusiasm

Intriguing everyone around you

Not that you noticed

He felt like shedding a tear, his heart hurting the longer he looked at you

But he just couldn't look away from your sweet smile & bright eyes

The next few days pass by him looking at you from afar

Now you weren't one to not notice and do nothing if some random creep followed you everyday

So naturally you confront him by cornering him

He honestly didn't think you had it in you to trap him

Something about being so close to you, even when you are interrogating him just makes him want you to be his even more

That's when he sees you, like actually sees you

Your angry yet curious eyes, the lovely tint on your parted lips, your tongue in between your teeth, and so much more

Never thought this would happen, but he's speechless

So bound by your beauty he isn't even able to defend himself and his actions

When you're about to leave, he grabs your elbow and exchanges your positions

Cornering you and towering you as he introduces himself

The way he is so close to makes you breath hitch and heart beat faster, blood pulsing through you at a greater speed

He knows he's peaked your interest in him

He knows that you're conflicted

He knows that he will be too, sooner than expected

He will try not to showcase his vampire abilities

But how long can he go for you know?

What will happen when he gets a scratch and it heals soon? You'll think it's a little suspicious

What will happen if you get hurt and bleed? Will he be able to just tend to your wound without letting his strength get in the way?

So many questions

So many doubts

But they fade to nothing, when he looks at you

When he looks at you, he sees the most perfect human

Compassionate, caring, kind, sweet, absolutely adorable

He almost feels human too, when he's around you

And just to feel normal again, he starts to spend all his time around you

Roaming with you, circling around you like a buzzed bee does with a flower

And that's when you start your courtship

With him doing so many things with you

Helping you with your work/studies

Taking you on multiple dates

So many getaways

Getting you so much jewelry

Matching Jewelry!!!! 🥺

Falling in love with you

Regular movie nights in

Falling in love

Moving into an apartment together

Falling in love

Doing all your domestic things like cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, getting a goddamn job, and what not

Falling in love

Discussions about adopting a pet together

Oh and falling in love.

Yup.

You have a totally lovesick vampire head over heels completely in love with you with his cold dead heart

When the realization that he hath fallen hits him, he couldn't help but cry

Because he knows that you love him too

He knows that you'd want him to propose to you soon

He knows that eventually you're gonna wanna start a family with him

Even if you don't, which is okay, he knows that you are gonna die in a few decades

What will he do when he can't avoid the inevitable question you'll ask him about not aging

About not getting sick like ever

About having so much money

About having so much knowledge and minute details about historical events which just slip out his mouth from time to time

But

What he doesn't know is that you were already suspecting something was up

You don't know when you started to notice the subtle things he did, things that no one in your time does

The way he talks so casually with everyone

His peculiar usage of words at times

How he doesn't have a single wrinkle on his surely flawless face

How he never grows a grey hair

How his skin is so pale and cold to touch

But his tongue is always so pink

How his eyes look a different colours at random moments

Your first instinct, was of course, you were being delusional.

But then you thought about your life since you met him

How everything was going so good, too good for a human and human relationship

Pain.

That's what you felt when you started to see everything

And not just emotional pain, physical too

You could feel your heart breaking

You didn't know why

Was it because you've given your heart to someone you don't even know what species is?

Or because you've wasted the best time of your life on someone who won't be with you till the end?

You're not stupid, of course you confront him

Even if it meant you'd go from being someone he loves to someone he might hate

When the question flies out of your mouth

He just looks at you with pity

Was it for you or him, he doesn't know

Swallowing, his Adam's Apple bobs in his throat

He'll gently grasp you hands

Making you sit on a chair and he'd come clean

Yes

That simple

Because he can erase your memory if you threaten him 💀

He, for the first time, has no clue how you'd react

Chewing on your finger you look at him

Saying okay

Cause you love him

And him being a vampire doesn't change the fact that he is a good person

Well was or whatever, it's complicated

He just falls on the ground

Crying and thanking you 🥺

Hugging him you realize that you're crying too

The next day is like you're both reborn

Nothing actually changed much lol

He quits his job and you quit yours

And you both just travel the world

Go to different places, new places

Find secluded spaces to fuck, just for the adrenaline

Oh yes sex with vamp Hwiyoung!!!

Uses his strength to mark you.

Uses his powers to multiply the feeling of your high

Uses his speed to fuck you senseless

Of course he goes raw, not like you can get anything from him 💀

He has good control on his hunger for blood

So he won't actually hurt you if he bites you too hard till blood comes

Everything is going, perfect, to say the least

Until you catch a bad stomach bug

You get sick till your guts come out

He hates hates hates it so much

That you're so vulnerable to such things

And that he isn't

That he can't do anything about it even when you reassure him it's okay

He hates knowing that someday you may leave him

When you do get better, he feels so relieved

You know what's coming

So you thought about it a lot

To be honest, you've been thinking about it since he confirmed your doubts about him being a vampire

He is so shocked when you say yes to him

When he asks if you want to, only and only if you do, he's ready to make you a vampire too

The idea of you also becoming a vamp just sounds perfect to him

Cause then it'd mean you'd never get sick or get hurt or die

So you can be together forever and ever 🥺

[catboygretzky]

best stucky fic recs pwease

Okay, disclaimer, these are all like five+ years old (which is the best Stucky era, imo) and definitely not the only ones I enjoy; these are just a few in my bookmarks on ao3.

In no particular order besides the order I bookmarked them and under a read more because there's a shit ton of them (really, it's a lot):

- hold me until we crumble; Not Rated, 23k

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

- despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained); Explicit, 72k

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

- family means no one gets left behind or forgotten; Teen, 11k

“Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.

“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”

Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.

Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.

- Mistake on the Part of Nature; Teen, 1.3k

Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face.

"Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas."

In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

- Swear Jar; Teen, 1.5k

Bucky isn't the only troll in the future.

OR

Steve has a Swear Jar and he makes the Avengers pay up every time they cuss.

- Barnes & Rogers and the Goddamn Truth; Not Rated, 19k

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

- perfectly right wrong number; Teen, 32k

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

- The power of the right shirt (a.k.a. God bless America); Teen, 1.2k

"He just…" Phil trails off, mouth gaping. He is staring at the field outside the house, eyes glazed.

Clint sighs. "Yeah, he just ripped a log in two with his bare hands."

- To fill it up with something; Teen, 21k

A fateful encounter with Dr. Strange leaves the Winter Soldier transformed, and Bucky Barnes reunites with Steve Rogers in a most unexpected way.

“Steve brings the puppy inside, into the apartment that doesn't quite feel like home no matter how much he's been trying. He isn't used to being alone. Before the war, he always had Bucky, and his mother until her death. During the war, Bucky was there, too—and the rest of the Howlers, of course—but Bucky always meant home. (And well, maybe Steve's already got a name for the puppy in mind)."

- build it bigger than the sun; Teen, 10k

“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”

“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”

Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.

- Memories Circle (Like Birds of Prey), Teen, 32k

Everything seems to be going right, Steve's fighting with his Commandos, they've saving lives-- until Steve falls from a train, is taken prisoner, and turned into the Winter Soldier. Meanwhile, Bucky takes up Steve's mantle as Captain America, and thanks to Zola's experiments, he gets dropped into a whole new time, only to cross paths with a Steve who doesn't know who he is anymore.

Essentially, the events of CA:TFA, mild mentioning of Avengers, and CA:TWS but with Steve as the Winter Soldier and Bucky as Captain America

- The Gentleness That Comes; Mature, 9k

Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.

But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.

- salt for the sea; Mature, 7.5k

Natasha comes home with intel regarding the fate of the Winter Soldier; Steve leaves to go and avenge Bucky Barnes.

“It's a list of everyone who was involved in his death, and a rough timeline of everything that happened beforehand,” she tells him.

“And the notebook?”

“I explained what they did,” Natasha says, “The blank pages are for you to explain what you do to them.”

- Lone Cat and Samurai; Teen, 8.4k

"We lost Kitten America sir!" Junior Agent blurted out. Then turned an unlovely shade of purple. "I mean, Captain America. Who’s a kitten. Because magic. Sir."

- Waiting To Prove You're Not Alone; Explicit, 41k

Months after he woke up on the banks of the Potomac, when a reporter mistakenly assumes Steve would disapprove of homosexuality being as accepted as it is in the modern day, Steve accidentally snaps and unleashes his real opinion on the matter... and with that, a secret he's hidden for over eighty years.

When that secret comes looking for him in New York, Steve can only hope that he can get a second chance at saving his best friend, even if it means keeping his heart in check.

“Yeah, back in my day it wasn't tolerated, and because of that I knew from the minute I figured it out, that I’d never get to tell my best friend that I loved him, and sure enough, he died without knowing that I’d been in love with him for a decade."

- I'm Not Sick (But I'm Not Well); Mature, 30k

Steve Rogers doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes in the 1930’s. Instead, Steve meets him April 17th, 2012.

Well…sort of meets him.

In actuality, Bucky had almost hit him with his truck.

Or: The fic where millennial Bucky Barnes nearly runs over a freshly thawed national treasure, and what Steve Rogers did to adjust to modern NYC during those two weeks before the events of The Avengers.

- pure as the driven slush; Explicit, 11k

He should have worked it out sooner. But then, Steve always was a sneaky little bastard—had to have been, just to survive this long.

For the SteveBucky Fest prompt, "Steve is quite experienced while Bucky's never gone beyond second base with anyone".

- Let's Be Exposed and Unprotected, Explicit, 5k

Bucky’s pretty sure he should be into getting fucked through the floor while walls explode around him like in that Mr and Mrs Smith movie that Clint loves. But he likes it like this. He likes being on his back with Steve looming above him, big and naked, blocking out the rest of the world.

- Man of Steel; Explicit, 6.7k

It’s like Steve looked at his metal arm and thought ‘Challenge Accepted.’

- 5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did; Teen, 4.9k

What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.

- the best of you; Teen, 16k

Bucky is on a mission when he gets the call.

They tell him that Steve has been compromised.

[The story wherein Hydra captures Steve to create a new weapon. Bucky, alongside the rest of the Avengers, come together and work through the fallout.]

- pull apart the dark; Teen, 79k

Steve's unending faith in his best friend was beginning to look less like hope and more like fantasy. When they'd caught the Soldier – in a fire fight that still gave Sam nightmares – the only thing the man seemed to recall was how to hit exactly where it hurt.

Four months later, Barnes still refused to speak English. Refused to heed anything but Steve's voice.

So, all in all, it was not a great time for Hydra to attack New York. All in all, Sam really wished they'd just killed him, instead of turning Captain America into a baby.

- Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy; Explicit, 8.9k

Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

- the blood of the covenant; Teen, 7.5k

Steve has a "thing" for hot water.

Or, Sam Wilson adopts Steve Rogers.

- Mighty like Love, Mighty like Sorrow; Teen, 19k

After freeing himself from the Russians' mind control, Bucky is left at loose ends, drifting through the decades. Still, he's in no hurry to take up Nick Fury's offer to once again fight the good fight -- especially not when Fury has the nerve to put some imposter in his best friend's old suit and send him out to fight against Chitauri.

- Read Me Like a Book; Gen, 1.5k

In which Bucky accidentally becomes a book collector, because when the universe gives you a million biographies about your boyfriend, you go bookcase shopping. And then he finds out about The Grenade Incident, and the boys actually talk about it like actual adults. (Somewhere, Sam sheds a proud tear.)

- the broadest stroke of color; Gen, 16k

Sarah Rogers always loved Steve's hands.

"Your hands will do a lifetime's work," she'd say. "Remember to do the work you can for those you love."

Almost a century later, Steve does just that.

[The story wherein Steve draws comics for Bucky to help him recover his memory. Through a series of events, the issues are leaked, and Steve finds himself reviving the Captain America comics. He still isn't sure how that happened.]

- If You're Loved By Someone (You're Never Rejected); Teen, 9.4k

You’re fifteen when you realize why you stare at Bucky’s lips more than normal when he laughs and when he says your name. You lean into his shoulder when you walk next to him and when you’re sick you don’t fight off his soft hands. You tease him, he teases back and being around him is so easy you forget what it was like to live without him. You can’t remember life pre-Bucky and it scares you.

- Unusual Weather; Explicit, 8.7k

Bucky’s been at the Avengers Tower for three weeks before he finally gives in to Steve’s gentle coaxing and Stark’s cheerful waving of fistfuls of circuits, and lets them scan the arm.

It doesn’t go well.

- this city bleeds its aching heart; Explicit, 35k

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

- Good Boy; Explicit, 13k

Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.

Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!

- Brooklyn; Teen, 8.8k

"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

[echodrops]

I’m obviously late to the tumble party... but I stumbled across your Notagami Essays posts and they are absolutely Fabulous! Love your writing and the amount of detail you go into :)

So I figured you may be a good person to ask - if you just had to guess (bc as far as I know it’s never been officially confirmed?) but if you had to take a guess or give a rough estimate, how old do you think Yato was when he first met Sakura? We know he’s estimated to be at least a thousand years old, we know he’s - from the start of the series to present - estimated to be somewhere between 18 and his early 20s (physically)... but I can’t find a single thing/discussion/post/stickynote/whatever where it talks about how old he might have been when he first met Sakura - let alone the emotional/psychological effects of Sakura coming into his life and introducing healthy mindset/morals/maternal-influence etc. etc. (obviously no mom and Father’s neglect played a big role in him not knowing how inappropriate it was for him to ‘accidentally touch’ and yell “boobs!” but you can also just say he was so young he didn’t know how inappropriate that was?) My point is: how old do you think Yato was (physically anyway) at the time of their meeting? and Do you know of any discussions or care to share your opinion on how being the no more than the age of blank affected his mental/emotional understanding of Sakura teaching him a new narrative?

Sorry this is a random out of the blue ask 😅😓 if I rambled on and you don’t feel like answering, I get it, just figured it was worth asking :)

I fell down a serious rabbit hole trying to see if I could figure out the answer to this question about Yato’s age but unfortunately I’m mostly coming up empty-handed.

The answer to this question actually depends on two different pieces of information which--as far as I can remember--we’ve never actually been given for certain.

1) We would need to know when Yato was actually born.

The manga has kind of hinted at a total (not physical) age for Yato in the flashbacks which showed him as a young child during the Heian era (putting him somewhere in the vicinity of a little over 1000 years old) and Father not making masks before ~1100 years ago, but the problem is we still don’t know how many years might have passed between this scene (the youngest we’ve ever seen Yato):

And the next flashback scene, where Yato meets Nora:

If gods age normally when they are children, these two scenes might be only a handful of years apart. But if gods don’t age normally, then these two scenes could be decades or centuries apart, which leads to the other missing piece of information (under the read more to save people’s dashes):

2) We would need to know the aging process for gods who are just born/reincarnate.

Up to this point in the manga, we’ve only seen two gods reincarnate--Ebisu (who reincarnated too recently to really help answer this question) and Takemikazuchi. The implication of Takemikazuchi’s backstory is that his shinki forced him to reincarnate and then hid his reincarnation from all of Heaven. The only way they could have kept other gods from noticing that Takemikazuchi had reincarnated would have been by not allowing him to go out at all until he had grown enough to match his previous reincarnation in appearance. This seems to suggest that gods probably do age normally when they are children--hiding Takemikazuchi away for ~20 years seems a lot more likely than being able to hide him away for centuries, after all... (I also feel like I have very vague recollection of some scene in the manga where someone comments on Takemikazuchi not having been around for a “few years,” but it’s been so long since I reread I can’t recall if this is a real moment from the manga or just me misremembering.) 

Overall, however, based on what we’ve seen in the manga, my guess would be that when they’re young, after just being born or being reincarnated, gods age pretty normally. This would suggest that, for the first few years at least, the physical and mental ages of reincarnated/newly born gods actually overlap; baby Ebisu acts like a little kid because he is, in fact, both mentally and physically a little kid.

That would mean that, for all intents and purposes, Yato’s physical and mental ages lined up when he was young and meeting Sakura, and he acted like a little kid because he really was just a little kid, god or not.

(Detour for a second though: 

This line always struck me as interesting in that it might, just might, give us a more specific timeframe for Yato’s “birth”: although the constellations, of course, are visible in the sky every single year, this particular combination of concepts (kanoto-tori, yin metal rooster) is known much more commonly as one of the sixty years on the cyclical Chinese calendar, also used in Japan. Counting back on the calendar, 961 A.D. was a yin metal rooster year and would align just about right for what we know about the timeframe in which Yato later met Sakura (~970ish). Just referencing constellations doesn’t mean Adachitoka was pointing to a specific year, but it might have been another hint as to the timeframe of the flashbacks.

Okay, detour over.)

Anyway, without 100% confirmation on either of those pieces of information--when Yato was born and whether gods age at the same rate as humans after reincarnating--I don’t think it’s really possible to pin down Yato’s “real” age (physically or mentally) at the time he met Sakura. We mostly just have to estimate. 

Personally, based on his size and behavior at the time, I’d put him somewhere between seven and maybe up to ten, but the way Adachitoka draws characters kind of makes it impossible to judge their ages by appearance; Yato is about the same size as Nora when he meets Sakura, implying that he and Nora were around the same physical “age” at that time; meanwhile, Nora is later portrayed as being roughly the same age as Yukine, suggesting she was maybe 12-13ish years old when she died. So, despite being drawn tiny, it’s possible Yato was meant to be anywhere from a little kiddo (6-7) to all the way up to Nora’s age by the time he met Sakura.

But all that said, I think what you were really asking about was more the mental state Yato would have been in when he met Sakura and how his young age would have impacted his ability to change his world views, right? The answer to that is... complicated and could be approached a lot of ways. Coming from a background of working with and educating social work students, there are several common psychological theories of child development that might apply here, for example. 

I’d recommend checking out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development, though. 

(Pulled from here.)

I don’t have time to explain the entire theory with the complexity it might deserve, but the basic idea is that, as children develop, they experience a series of crises or challenges that they must overcome. Successfully overcoming each challenge results in successful psychological and social development; failing to overcome a challenge in childhood will result in long-term negative impacts later in the child’s life. (There are plenty critiques of this theory too, so don’t take this as gospel or anything--just a theory worth thinking about!)  

Given Father’s lack of interest in teaching Yato basic concepts of humanity, I would put Yato at approximately the “Initiative vs. Guilt” stage when he met Sakura. At this level of Erikson’s theory, children struggle with asserting themselves and developing a healthy sense of how their personal desires might conflict with the expectations and rules set out by others. In this stage, giving a child positive feedback for their actions teaches the child that those actions are “right,” while giving negative feedback teaching the child that their actions are wrong. In order to overcome this particular challenge, children need to begin taking initiative and aligning their actions with social standards; the child acts, and the parental figure reacts--through this process, children learn “I can do X thing but I cannot do Y thing.” 

When you hear things like “Children are cruel,” most often what people are referring to is that it takes time for children to learn empathy and to experience guilt when they cause harm to others; children do not natively understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s only through a process of testing the boundaries, of receiving praise or punishment, that children define what is “right” versus “wrong,” and begin to feel bad when they do something deemed wrong.

And this is pretty much word-for-word what we see Sakura teaching Yato.

If they have healthy role models and caretakers during this phase, children develop successfully. Successful children in this phase get their first taste of personal responsibility; unsuccessful children are (supposedly) plagued for years afterward by a sense of guilt and shame when their actions produce disapproval from everyone around them.

Yato... doesn’t exactly make it through this development stage unscathed, because he receives conflicting definitions of right and wrong from his Father an Sakura:

Which ultimately results in, years later, the Yato we know and love who still does his Father’s bidding to kill humans even though it fills him with a horrific sense of guilt:

Through his time with Sakura, I think it could also be argued that Yato moves into the next stage of Erikson’s theory as well, getting into the “Industry versus Inferiority” crises. 

Meeting Sakura brings out Yato’s true, deep down desire as a god: to help people. (I think it’s important to note that this isn’t something Sakura teaches him--it’s a quality Yato already possessed; it was explicitly Yato’s desire to please people that led to him murdering in his father’s name.)

Once he learns what makes people happy, Yato immediately pursues that with intense focus:

The primary goal of this phase of psychosocial development is to experience a sense of confidence in one’s actions. When children practice their skills, pursue areas where they are praised, and gain new skills and aptitudes through mentoring from healthy role models, they gain confidence in their ability to excel, to fit in with peers their age, and to create meaningful things. By encouraging Yato to pursue positive behaviors--playing peacefully with other children, appreciating natural beauty, and creating useful things like boots for the needy--Sakura moved Yato toward successfully completing this phase and developing a sense of confidence in his actions and his ability to achieve positive things in the world. 

Of course, Father cannot have that (because confident children with a sense of self-worth are much more difficult to abuse), so he puts an immediate end to Sakura’s influence over Yato in the most insidious way possible: although he clearly manipulated the situation to achieve Sakura’s death, out loud, he blames Yato, implying that Sakura’s death was all Yato’s fault, the results of Yato taking unwanted action “industry” and yet failing--creating a sense of “inferiority” instead.

This, of course, haunts Yato all the way to the present, as he--again and again and again--blames himself for things outside his control or failing to live up to expectations that no one in his situation (still being manipulated) could possibly hope to get “right.” 

Finally, you could say that Sakura’s presence is Yato’s life is ultimately what sows the seeds of the manga’s main plot up to this point, with Yato’s quest to create an entirely new identity for himself as a god of fortune instead of a god of calamity. Personally, I would say that Yato is currently still in this phase of development, still working out how to define himself and who he will ultimately become once he is finally free to decide on his own path in life. It was Sakura’s gentle influence--his desire to become the kind of god who could make her smile--that eventually sparked his conflict and finally led Yato to the brink of catastrophe. If he wishes to become the god Sakura told him he could be, he can no longer suffer his father to live.

So, long story longer, I think it can be argued that Yato meeting Sakura at such a young age is EXACTLY what made it possible for him to change, and exactly what has led to his crisis in identifying himself and redefining his sense of right and wrong. 

Uhhhh... I hope that answers your question!

[youllallriseintheink]

A Worthwhile Investment, chapter 2

Please enjoy this Shawn x Grant story. It is a part of my canon.

Thankfully, Shawn and Grant were able to sneak out undetected. Shawn knew the warehouse Norman had told them to meet at- the one Lacie worked in, roughly two blocks from the studio and not visible from it. From there, they called a cab to take them to a bar (as Norman had promised and Shawn had reminded him) and declared themselves safe.

“Uh, sorry the raid was a bust,” Shawn said.

“It wasn’t.” Norman held up a set of keys. “I can go anywhere I want in the studio now, whenever. And I saw Sammy Lawrence wearing a Bendy mask. I knew it. I knew he was a part of this. I’m gonna crack this if it kills me.”

“Sure you will,” Lacie drawled. “Mind telling us why this is your choice of hobby? Like, why are you like this?” Shawn could tell that she was using her friendly cold, judgmental tone, which was different from her genuinely cold, judgmental tone. He hoped Norman could, too.

“Like I’d tell you. What, you think I’d ask for your life story just like that?”

“I’ll tell it. I ain’t got nothing to hide. I was born to two crack-addicted pieces of shit, so I learned to rely on the parents of neighbourhood kids on days they decided not to care for me. It was like that basically my entire life before my sister sorted herself out and I moved in with her. But it taught me I could take care of myself, so I didn’t mind moving with Bertrum wherever he went, and I didn’t cry when he retired.”

“And it’s a good thing he retired, or I might not’ve met Lacie when ah did. Bein’ an immigrant, away from home for the first time an’ barely speaking teh language- it woulda been real lonely otherwise. Of course, Ah make friends easy, but I’m still glad she was one'a them.”

Lacie’s sharp eyes landed on Grant. They’d only met once before and neither had been too comfortable with the other. “And what about you, Grant? Anything interesting in your past?”

“Oh, no. Normal upbringing. Parents who loved me. Nothing special.” It was lame, but it was the truth.

The four of them kept chatting for about an hour.

How did I end up surrounded by the three strongest people I know? Grant wondered. Most of his friends growing up had been cousins or kids of family friends, and his social circle hadn’t diversified much since, until he met Shawn and Norman. Comparatively, these three were freaks. But they were all so respectable, and honestly, Shawn and Norman were some of the best friends he’d ever had.

Life in general had given Grant a lot to be thankful for as of late. The early thirties had been hard on him- after the stock market crashed, he’d gone through a job loss, the collapse of his marriage, some domestic abuse, his divorce, and losing custody of his children. But now? Things were alright. He had a new job, and the studio was, generally speaking at least, holding steady financially. Against all odds, his daughters seemed to be fine living with their mother- maybe she had been serious about working on herself for them. Grant cherished the time he did have with them, and though he hated to admit it, he was much happier divorced. And of course, now he had these two. It was while he was there, listening to the three of them talk, that he realized that he was currently the most content he’d been in years.

Shawn had had a few drinks by that point, and leaned on Grant as though he intended to fall asleep on him.

“I think I should take Shawn home. Norman, can we talk about something tomorrow? In the projector booth.”

“Of course,” Norman said. Something in the way he said it told Grant that he already knew what it would be about.

---

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Norman asked, as if he didn’t already know.

“It’s about Shawn,” Grant started. How much to say? He figured that Norman knew he was gay- very little escaped Norman’s notice, after all- but maybe Norman was only okay with that because he didn’t act on it.

“You know Sammy Lawrence?” Norman mused, looking through the window into the music room. “For a long time, he was dating his- very much male, I should mention- lyricist. I saw them making out once- this gorgeous pretty boy and this middle-aged marshmallow- I guess love is blind and all that. I’ve got no damning evidence of it, but I’d bet anything that Joey Drew is gay as well. And I could go on! This studio has more queer people than you would believe, and my powers tell me about more than just existential dreads.” There was a pause. Norman turned back to look at Grant. “So. As a living lie-detector, one of the best gaydars you’ll ever see on a straight man, and your best friend of over half a decade who would never betray you... you can tell me anything about what’s going on with him.”

Grant gave a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you’re okay with this. And yes, I’m considering dating Shawn.”

“Great. He likes you- I could tell.”

“Thanks. But I already knew- he kissed me suddenly about ten days ago. I didn’t know how to react, and I kind of froze up, and I told him that I liked him, but I needed to think about whether we could be together. Up until last night, I thought I’d tell him ‘no-’ I just hadn’t had the willpower to yet. And then I had an epiphany.”

“What was the epiphany?”

“I realized that I respect a bunch of very unconventional people- yourself included- so it’s okay that I’m not perfectly conventional. But... even if it’s not inherently wrong, the idea of acting on it still scares me. If my mother ever found out, it would break her heart. My father would be humiliated if anyone else knew about it, and he might not want to speak to me again. And if it got to my ex-wife, she’d do anything she could to keep me away from my kids- she might even report me. I don’t have to worry about any of that if I don’t act on it. I don’t know... is it even responsible to risk it? These are people I have obligations to. Is it worth it?”

“Well, only you can choose that. But don’t you want a chance at actual love? I mean, I sure like having a loving partner. Why give that up over the risk that someone else might find out?”

“I guess you’re right. Shawn could be my only opportunity for a while. I really don’t know if I want to get involved in whatever culture gay men have going on. If the stereotypes are true, I’d be walking into a group of dangerous people looking to take advantage of a naïve outsider. Of course, they might not be true, but I don’t want to just walk in without knowing. And anyhow, I wouldn’t know how to find anything like that if I tried.”

Norman nodded, taking some time to process everything he’d said. “Alright. Look- you’re overcomplicating a bunch of simple problems by rolling them together into one big problem. Just take it one issue at a time. You want your family to be happy? Make them happy, and don’t worry about something that won’t hurt them. Any partner you might have will know that this kind of thing has to be kept secret, and New York is a big city- you can hide it. You want to date Shawn? Date Shawn. I can tell he makes you happy. You don’t want to get into gay culture without knowing what it’s like? Then don’t. I don’t know anything about their culture, but you have no idea how many gay men are here at Joey Drew Studios. Plenty of people you can ask about it to decide if it’s your thing.”

“Wow. Thank you. You really made that all sound so simple.” Norman had a way of cutting straight to the point.

“Yeah. You’re gonna be okay. Heck, even if you decide not to have a love life after Shawn, I’m glad you’ll be doing it because you’re risk-adverse and not because you’re still ashamed.”

“Thanks again. Now I need to go find Shawn.”

In the end, Grant couldn’t find Shawn before it was time to get back to work, so the next day he left a note in his locker with some flowers. Like a schoolboy. Ridiculous. But that was how Shawn made him feel.

Over the next few years, their relationship went on, and off, and on again. They fought, probably more than the average couple. But overall, they were glad to have each other. It was worth it.    

[bravernificationbeam]

39 midam songs for mini midam week!!! my fav lyrics for midam from each of the songs under the cut!

Can you believe that we're still here and not in hell?

WOUND - Black Dresses This is a wound and it's closing This is a wound, please let it There is a wound called knowing What it's like to feel this (Given my age I think the least important thing was intent)

Praying - Kesha 'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" (Some things only god can forgive)

Running Up that Hill - Kate Bush And if I only could I'd make a deal with god And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems (Tell me, we both matter, don’t we?)

Learn to Let Go - Kesha I'm done reliving my bad decisions I see now maybe there's a reason why I've been through hell and back Yeah, honestly, it's all made me who I am Holding on to wasted time Gotta learn to let go in life (Choose redemption/Your happy ending’s up to you)

Love Like You - Ashe cover If I could begin to do Something that does right by you I would do about anything I would even learn how to love

Miracle of Miracles - Fiddler on the Roof Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles I was afraid that god would frown But like he did so long ago, at Jericho God just made a wall fall down

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne Sorry, girl, but you missed out Well, tough luck, that boy's mine now

MAYBE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER WORLD'S HELL - Black Dresses Can you believe that We're still here, and not in hell? Or maybe this is Some other world after it fell? (Can you believe that we still believe we can be saved?)

Learning in Public - Allie X I thought that I could take Take you with me But did you slip away Or did I let go? (I can’t even look at me/While everyone’s watching/I’m learning in public)

MY HEART BEATS OUT OF TIME - Black Dresses Is this body me? Can I be more than it? Was there ever a better way to live? In a rotting shell why do I exist? Is this fucked up hell really all there is?

Man to Man - Dorian Electra Are you man enough to soften up? Are you tough enough to open up? (Just take my hand, we’ll settle this man to man)

Ashes - Stellar But now I'm stuck at the gate Of Lucifer's estate I fell in love with a girl I met in Hell

Stab Yer Dad - Spoonboy When everyone I know’s still standing in the shadows Of the men who left their mark, I’d rather be left in the dark And if our fathers were our role models for god and they failed us What does that tell us about our supposed omnipotent savior?

HEADACHE - $waggot You think I’m sick in the head There's something wrong with my brain But I’m not fucking insane I just have a fucking headache

SHARP HALO - Black Dresses I just wanna Hide where god can never find me All my prayers are From the depths From the darkness From the woods Crying, praying, wishing For something better than this (Angel, I hear you/No need to scream so loud/Reach out and touch my hand/I’m going to pull you down)

The Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom of the Opera And in this labyrinth Where night is blind The Phantom of the Opera is here Inside my mind (I am the mask you wear/It’s me they hear)

Jolene Part 2 (Take Me Instead) - Pip King Your arms could break the spine of death Your voice could rob the winds of breath No mortal can compete with you, Jolene (To feel your limbs enclosing me/Would sate my every fantasy, Jolene)

WIGGLE - Black Dresses I keep myself together somehow Stepped on too many times to count I hope one day my broken frame Can get away, can find a better place That’s safe (They tried to push me down/But I just wiggled around/Until they couldn’t hold me/Years and years they couldn’t hold me)

LEFT ARM OF LIFE - Black Dresses Even in the depths I treasure everything that we've become

18 y/o - $waggot 18 years old today And tomorrow and the next day And the next 20 decades (I hope you feel better/’Cause you’ll be looking like that on the Internet forever)

No Good Deed - Wicked My road of good intentions Led where such roads always lead No good deed Goes unpunished

Devil I Know - Allie X Baby, you're the devil I know Better than the devil I don't Maybe I could stop, but I won't 'Cause baby you're the devil I know (Every time I take your lead, feels like a curse/And every time I try to stop, feels even worse)

You Are My Sunshine - The Civil Wars cover You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away

Rainbow - Kesha You gotta learn to let go, put the past behind you Trust me, I know, the ghosts will try to find you But just put those colors on, girl Come and paint the world with me tonight (What’s left of my heart’s still made of gold)

Achilles, Come Down - Gang of Youths Some of us love you, Achilles It’s not much but there’s proof (It’s not worth it, Achilles/Don’t listen, Achilles/You’re worth more, Achilles)

PEACESIGN​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​!​! - Black Dresses The dead hope that you always clung to The dream that someday it would heal you Is there anywhere left to fall? I try so hard to recall hope Ancient hope Rotting hope Can we make something beautiful with no hope? (You know why everything is horror/You know why no one will remember us in a better world)

The Well - Gazelle Twin I fell into a well Deep down under the ground All I could see was black All that couldn't be found

Our Love is God - Heathers We can start and finish wars We're what killed the dinosaurs We're the asteroid that's overdue (Our love is god)

EARTHRISE - $waggot If you're down for deicide Come with me, we'll watch the Earth rise It's not quite the first time I've spent here a thousand lifetimes (I just wanna ride the wave with you/I will do whatever you want to/I'll call the whole thing off it's true/We'll spare them all, into the blue)

Folly - Gazelle Twin What species is this? What century? What atmosphere? What government?

Even in Death - Evanescence (2016 ver) Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh my love But no bonds can hold me from your side, oh my love They don't know you can't leave me They don't hear you singing to me

Adam and Steve - Dorian Electra (R.U.B.Y remix) They want to destroy me They will all enjoy it Say I’m an abomination But I’m god’s creation

Mr. Loverman - Ricky Montgomery I'm Mr. Loverman And I miss my lover, man I'm Mr. Loverman Oh, and I miss my lover

Fleece - Crystal Castles Freedom is honesty Freedom is hostility Take her from her diocese Place her on the mantelpiece

Lovely - Bonnie McKee cover Isn't it lovely, all alone Heart made of glass, my mind of stone Tear me to pieces, skin and bone Hello, welcome home (I hope someday I’ll make it out of here/Even if it takes all night or a hundred years)

Blondes - Peach PRC Call your boyfriend Tell him he's fine He's just no longer your type You've got someone else on your mind Call your boyfriend Play him this song Tell him he did nothing wrong You just decided you prefer blondes

Positions - Dorian Electra cover This some shit that I usually don't do But for you, I kinda, kinda want to 'Cause you're down for me and I'm down too Yeah, I'm down too, switching the positions for you

Perfect Teeth - Black Dresses A set of perfect teeth Shining, glinting in the dark Trying not to scream Praying out for a spark For a sign from god For the lights to come on Perfect teeth fucking chewing on me (If that’s your idea of being edgy/I guess that’s good for you/I think you must have a nice life/A real nice life)

Never Go Back - Evanescence Everything is so dark And I know there's something wrong but I can't turn the light on In that split second change when you knew we couldn't hold on I realize I live to love you

Godzilla - Kesha What do you get when you take Godzilla to the mall? He scares all the children and shreds all the pillows And knocks over walls His emerald eyes, they sparkle and shine As he eats the food court and steals half my fries That's what you get when you take Godzilla to the mall (What do you get when you take Godzilla to meet your mom?)

[zayamoone-old]

TF2 Mage AU

A Team Fortress 2 AU where magic exists and I change the storyline.

Hi! I don’t post here often, so I thought I’d change that by posting something that’s been occupying my thoughts for a while: a TF2 mage AU! When I discovered that a mage AU didn’t exist (at least, not any that I could find), I just had to take it upon myself to make one of my own. So, here are all of the ideas I currently have for the AU! Note that (eventually) this will become a written story. How long that will take, I have no clue. I still need a plot (if you have any plot ideas please please let me know; I’m desperate).

Basic Premise/World Info

The premise of the AU is, obviously, that mages exist. When people reach a certain age, they are allowed to start learning a single type of magic. There are many different magic types, ranging from elemental magic to dark magic. When a mage reaches a certain skill level, they are given a Familiar. They do not get to pick their Familiar- their Familiar picks them. They then keep their Familiar as a pet. The Familiar’s state of health, life span, and mood are synced with their owners (so for example, when their owner is sick the Familiar is sick, when the owner is sad the Familiar is sad, when the owner dies the Familiar dies, etc.). There are some people who choose not to take up a type of magic. These people are creatively referred to as Nomages, and in some cultures are looked down upon (though the same could be said about Mages).

Some things to clear up about the altered side of the AU are 1) The BLU team does not exist; I never saw a need for the two teams, and having them both just leads to basic and generally overused plot lines, 2) Australium doesn’t exist!! No immortality crap, 3) Gray Mann is the younger brother of Redmond and Blutarch (Red and Blu are still twins) and does not have a ridiculous story of him being able to talk since birth and being raised by eagles and whatnot, and 4) Saxton Hale is not very important to the plot. In fact, he’s actually dead in this AU. I wasn’t going to include him at all because I don’t like him and I couldn’t figure out how to fit him in, but a friend of mine actually had a cool idea for him being dead that I’ll elaborate on later.

Anyways, with all that out of the way, it’s time to introduce the characters!

Characters (headcanons and other details will be saved for asks)

Offense Classes (Elemental Mages)

Scout

Name: Jeremy Andrews

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

Age: 27

Magic Type: Wind

Uses his magic to move faster, jump higher, and knock back enemies. I’d imagine he’d also use it to propel himself past or over enemies to land in front of or on top of them.

Decided to learn wind magic for basically the canon reason: he wanted to get the upper hand in fights, and also wanted to manage to beat his brothers to fights. So, instead of Speed magic, he decided to take up Wind magic since not only did it make him faster, but it is a great tool for fighting.

Soldier

Name: Jane Doe

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual, he really has no preference

POB: Minneapolis, Missouri, USA

Age: 50

Magic Type: Earth

Uses his magic to reach high places and throw literal boulders at people; basically a replacement for his RPG.

Took up earth magic to thereotically assist him in WWII (because if he’s a mage, they’d have to accept him, right?). He also found being able to throw destructive boulders to be incredibly helpful in any fight.

Pyro

Name: ???

Gender: Nobody knows, everybody just refers to them as a they or an it.

Sexuality: Aromantic asexual

POB: ???

Age: ???

Magic Type: Fire

Fire.

Idk what to tell you man they just really like fire.

Doesn’t have the optical mask; they see everything as it really is, but their behavior towards fire and death and destruction remains the same. They still like unicorns and rainbows.

Defense Classes (Trait Mages)

Engineer

Name: Dell Conagher

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Mostly straight, but he leans both ways. Ultimately, he doesn’t care much about relationships.

POB: Bee Cave, Texas, USA

Age: 43

Magic Type: N/A (Nomage)

Doesn’t see a need to learn magic, he already has enough skill in the engineering field.

Was mainly hired because his family worked for the Admin’s family for decades. And also because, y’know, he’s one of the smartest people on the planet.

Heavy

Name: Mikhail 'Misha' Morozov

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual

POB: Dzhugdzhur Mountains, Khabarovsk Krai, USSR

Age: 57

Magic Type: Strength

Uses his magic to make himself inhumanly strong whenever he so chooses. This means he can switch from oh so gentle to strong enough to crush bone in seconds.

Took up Strength magic after he escaped the gulag to better protect his family, should the need arise.

Demoman

Name: Tavish DeGroot

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: Ullapool, Scotland

Age: 49

Magic Type: Leaping

His magic basically just lets him jump really high (higher than Scout can go with his magic). This lets him shoot/throw grenades/bombs from more effective and destructive distances.

Mostly took up Leaping magic just to get his mom off his back about him learning magic. His father was a Leaping Mage, so Demo simply followed in his footsteps.

Support Classes (Arcane Mages)

Medic

Name: Dr. Ludwig Humboldt

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay

POB: Stuttgart, Germany

Age: 45

Magic Type: Necromancy

Familiar: Archimedes - Dove

Uses his magic to revive people, heal people, and communicate with the dead.

Took up the controversial art of necromancy to aid in his job. This eventually cost him his medical license.

Ngl I'm super excited to write Necromancer Medic I'm really happy with this concept help

Sniper

Name: Mick Mundy

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: Whyalla, Australia

Age: 28

Magic Type: Shadow

Familiar: Hunter - Australian Shepard

Uses his magic to teleport into and transform into shadows. This is helpful for sneaking in between watchtowers and passing people unseen.

Began learning Shadow magic before he was even a sniper. He has always been an introvert and wanted to be able to get through crowds unseen and hide from people without being found.

Despite his young age, he already has a Familiar. He's just that much of a professional.

Is actually from Australia and the Mundys are his birth parents.

Spy

Name: Eugène Baudelaire

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: Bordeaux, France

Age: 46

Magic Type: Mind

Familiar: Jacques - Birman

Uses his magic to read minds, bend wills, and use telepathy. These abilities all have some limits, but they are incredibly useful nonetheless.

Always enjoyed being sneaky and deceitful as a child, and as he got older he started learning Mind magic. This combined with his cunning nature and Dell's cloaking technology makes him one of the most stealthy and dangerous men in existence.

Although he denies it, he loves Jacques more than anything or anybody else. He'll often let the cat curl up on his lap while he's reading a magazine in his smoking room.

Other Characters

The Administrator

Name: Helen Callaway

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Aromantic asexual. People are horrid.

POB: Bristol, UK

Age: 56

Magic Type: N/A (Nomage)

Runs Team Fortress and uses them for her own needs.

A family friend of the Manns who took over TF after all the Mann brothers were m y s t e r i o u s l y murdered.

Miss Pauling

Name: Allison Pauling

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Closeted lesbian

POB: Like. America or something. (Madison, Wisconsin for now idk)

Age: 31

Magic Type: N/A (Nomage)

A close friend and long-time assitant to the Admin. Eagerly helps her run TF.

Redmond Mann

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: England or somewhere, idfk. The Manns are British or something right?

Age: 89

Magic Type: Fire

Before his and Blutarch's death, he ran the RED team. After his death, the remains of his team consisted of only Pyro, Engie, Demo, and Spy.

Never used his magic. They only reason he learned Fire magic was to try to get the upper hand on his twin.

Blutarch Mann

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: Ditto

Age: 89

Magic Type: Ice

Ran the BLU team before he died and the two teams were merged. After his death, his team consisted of only Scout, Soldier, Heavy, Medic, and Sniper. Since he had more people on his team at the end, he counts this as a win for him.

Also never used his magic. Learned Ice magic also to try to get the upper hand as his brother. Their magic types basically cancelled each other out, so this was not helpful in the slightest.

Gray Mann

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight, but couldn't care less

POB: Ditto

Age: 84

Magic Type: Shadow

Familiar: Delta - Bald Eagle

After he murdered his older brothers, he took over TF Industries and merged RED and BLU to create Team Fortress.

Took up Shadow magic in preparation for the day he would get what he wanted. It also comes in handy for literally anything illegal.

Saxton Hale

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

POB: A U S T R A L I A .

Age: 37

Magic Type: Strength

Ran TF Industries in its early days alongside the Mann twins before he died.

Learned Strength magic to better wrestle animals. That's it.

Idolized by literally only Soldier. Everybody else is like "Yeah no that guy was an idiot."

Wow. That was a lot to write, and I did it all in one sitting. It is late. I am losing the ability to comprehend any thoughts.

So anyways, I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this!! It's a heavy WIP, so I'd appreciate feedback and suggestions ;) Also, please feel free to submit asks about the AU!! It'd help a lot with its development! Also, plot ideas would be MUCH appreciated. Literally the only thing that ever prevents me from writing is my inability to come up with a plot. So if you have literally ANY ideas, please do submit them via an ask! I'd love to hear them, no matter how stupid you think they may be!

That's all for now! I'll post writing and art for the AU whenever I get around to that. Stay tuned, and please do send me your thoughts! I'll see you all later ✨

[theolddarkmachine]

Gilded

“Dance with me.” It isn’t a question, or even a request. It’s a command. One that Keith doesn’t want to follow, but he knows he will because it wraps deliciously around his throat.

For just a moment, he gets lost in the way the twisting lights catch in Shirogane’s white hair.

“I was taught to never dance with strangers,” Keith manages, trying to ignore the way his thumb brushes across his cheek. He means it as a challenge. A gamble to see just who his target will introduce himself as.

Not that it truly matters.

Either way, by the end of the night, his heart won’t be beating.

Shirogane’s smile only widens, touching his eyes as it pulls at their corners.

“Takashi.” He says the name easily as he pulls his hand away, instead taking Keith’s empty flute from his hand and dropping both their glasses on a passing tray.

“What?” In a moment of breathlessness, he forgets to add strength behind the word and he’s certain Shirogane’s missed it.

“My name is Takashi.” Takashi Shirogane. The name makes his veins sizzle as it spins around his mind, until he is almost dizzy with it. Lost to the repeating track, Keith almost misses the expectant look leveled on him.

“Keith,” he finally manages as he swallows down the bright taste tickling the back of his tongue. Shirogane’s smile only brightens.

“Now we aren’t strangers,” he replies, offering his hand. “Dance with me.”

One Shot (6k)

Tags: Hitman!Keith, Mafia Boss!Shiro, brief mentions of knives and guns and blood but it’s all in good fun, NSFW so do not read if you are 1) at work or 2) under the age of 18

AO3

A/N: While I’m working on things I started and never finished, here’s a fucky one shot 

*****************************

“It would be the usual deal,” Kolivan’s voice is hard, authoritative as he drops a manila folder onto the table between them. Keith watches as it slides across the metallic surface, stopping just in front of him, its top left open and waiting for him to take it.

The usual deal meant that for just one night, Keith could pad his bank account for the next six months and focus on other things that he liked to do.

Like work on that vintage Harley he’d bought with his last hit’s price tag.

Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t not like his job, there were just other things he’d rather do with his time than commit systematic assassinations on people that the Altean government found to be too much of a headache to deal with by the book.

As an idealistic youth, he would have been appalled by how things were really handled by their city’s government.

Of course, that had been before he realized how lucrative a business it was to take out whoever they deemed bad guys.

Before he’d realized just how good he was at it.

Maybe this time, he could buy himself that vintage BMW R 69.

“Who’s the target this time?” He asks, voice like smoke as he grabs the envelope and pulls the photos from inside. There’s only three, and they’re hardly better than supposed cryptid shots. Even through the graininess, he can make out enough of the man in the photos to know that he won’t be an easy target.

Good, he thinks ruefully as he thumbs through them, dusting his gaze over each one in an attempt to pull further information from them.

He had always liked a challenge.

“Shirogane is the name,” Kolivan says brusquely. “Head of Atlas.”

Keith does his best to swallow the sound of his surprise as he hears the name, his thumb pressing into the corner of one picture in particular as he focuses on the sting of its edge.

In it, Shirogane is looking up at something. There’s no way for him to know what it is, the shot cutting off before it could reveal anything else, but he can’t help but think he looks pleasant. As if he’s looking up at the sky.

“The trade company?” He asks, filling his voice with a practiced casualness as if he doesn’t know the truth. There isn’t a person in the darkened corners of the city that didn’t know the name Shirogane.

That didn’t fear it.

Didn’t respect it.

For some reason, Keith had always thought he’d be older.

Even with the bright white that streaks the front of his hair, Keith can tell he’s not much older than himself. Just barely thirty, at most.

“A ruse,” Kolivan says smoothly, not trying to mask the way he rolls his eyes. They both know Keith is well aware of what Atlas is, but he plays along if only because he needs something.

“He’s the most powerful boss of the syndicates, and he’s been a real thorn in our side with how many of the politicians he has under his thumb.”

He knows that much as well. Hell, Keith can think of five just off the top of his head that he knew were under Shirogane’s influence. The syndicate boss supplied the drugs and fun times, and they provided all the legal necessities that kept him from being crushed beneath the thumb of those that opposed him and the way he’s turned their city into something dirty.

Or rather, something dirtier.

Altea wasn’t as pristine as they liked to pretend, and Shirogane had just taken advantage of that fact. As far as Keith saw it, they had no one to blame but themselves.

But who was he to turn down a paying job.

After all, even hitmen still had bills.

“And you’re finally tired of dealing with him?” Keith asks, laying the photos out beside his dagger. It’s dark metal glints like something sinister in the light.

“There’s an election coming up.” The way Kolivan says it sounds like it should be the only answer Keith needs. He’s smart enough to put together the importance of having Shirogane removed from the equation, and the quickly approaching election date. Removing his influence would almost guarantee the head seat for whoever Kolivan was throwing his support behind.

Keith regards the politician closely as he stares over him, waiting for an answer.

With the way he’s holding himself, he briefly wonders if maybe it’s Kolivan himself looking toward that seat.

Dropping his chin on an open palm, Keith tilts his head. If he was being honest, he does like the man. There’s something about him that he’s always respected, even when he’s stooping to levels as low as himself to get what he wanted.

In fact, he thinks he respects him more for making decisions others would be too scared to make.

All was fair in love, war, and politics after all.

“I want double,” he says finally, watching the way Kolivan's shoulders seize at the request. It’s a test more than a genuine request. Keith is more than fine with their usual deal, but he wants to see just how serious they are this time.

A muscle jumps angrily in his jaw.

“Fine,” he growls, thrusting the palms of his hands down on the table as he stares harshly at him. Deep in his dark eyes, Keith swears he can see the gleam of a raging fire.

Very serious, then.

“So do we have a deal?”

Dragging his stare back down to the photos, Keith traces over them one more time. They may be grainy, but there’s something about them that stands out.

Shirogane’s eyes.

They’re haunting. A grey caught between shining silver and a roiling tempest. It makes him look otherworldly.

Beautiful, even.

Keith brushes a finger across the scar that runs over the bridge of Shirogane’s nose. He’s a fighter, it says. That very thought makes Keith’s mouth pool as he grabs his dagger, flipping it around his fingers with a flourish before thrusting it into the holster strapped to his thigh.

“Alright,” he says around a pointed smile as he stands, the screech of the metal chair legs against tile making him shiver. “I’m in.”

***

The cool air is biting, nipping at the exposed skin of Keith’s face and hands as he settles himself at the edge of the grand patio with his sights set on the blaze of the city lights below. Bass thumps loudly at his back, trying to escape the glass of the mansion that stands proudly behind him like some modern emulation of the Grecian style.

Sleek, and crafted of crisp white stone and shimmering crystal, it’s ostentatious, even for the head of a crime syndicate and his black market puppets.

Looming amongst the hills outside the city, it’s like a vengeful god watching over the very people that everyone inside viewed as nothing more than systematic pawns in their own sick games.

Greed, hunger, and violence made a home within the mansion’s walls, twisting and moving in its malevolence to the beat of the loud music emanating from the great hall.

The weight of it had been stifling, pushing Keith from the decadent interior and grinding, drunk bodies and instead towards the outdoors in a vain attempt to escape the crush of it against his shoulders.

Almost an hour in, and he still hadn’t so much as caught a glimpse of the night’s main attraction.

Shaking his head slightly, he ducks his scowl behind the rim of his glass. The sharp bite of his champagne coats his tongue and washes away his disappointed thoughts as he silently wonders if Shirogane was even there.

It would almost be fitting if he wasn’t. The man was practically mythic, darkening the streets of the city that burned so brightly below him now, and doing so without ever revealing his own hand.

Shirogane, in his own right, was nothing more than an untouchable shadow.

Lowering his glass, Keith presses the base of his forearms against the crystal barrier that separates him from a deadly fall as he took it all in.

Even with her dirty secrets revealed to him, he still finds the city beautiful.

Alluring, even, as her lights flicker like stars that had fallen from the heavens.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” A voice rumbles beside him, mired in a strength that Keith can hear, even over the thump of the bass against its confining walls. Its sudden appearance makes him jump slightly, his senses racing to catch up as he snaps his attention to the newcomer. His arrival had been silent, void of any presence at all. There’s a danger in it. The kind that blankets his skin with the uncomfortable tickle of dread and raises the hair along the back of his neck.

There’s a moment, suspended on his bated breath as he openly stares at the man beside him. Dressed in a dark suit, accented by even darker floral embroidery and velvet lapels, he is a paragon of authority. It rolls from him in waves as his silver eyes flay Keith’s skin right there on the sprawling patio.

He knows he should feel something like fear.

Or failure.

Being seen by the mark is something to be avoided. The best never let themselves be seen at all.

That much Keith knows.

But this is a first, and he can’t help but track the bright white of a scar peeking up from the open neck of Shirogane’s unbuttoned dress shirt.

The pictures Kolivan had hadn’t done him any justice at all.

Sipping the warming champagne in his hand, Keith counts to five in a vain attempt to clear the sudden fog clouding his thoughts.

“If overly done showcases of excess turn you on,” he says with a shrug, balancing his words on nonchalance as he emerges from his glass. The bite of it is meant to deter, only it seems to have the opposite effect on the mafia boss. Lips quirking at their edges, he languidly draws his stare down Keith’s frame. It lingers in the most damnable of places, the headiness of it going straight to his head more so than any of the champagne has before his gaze continues its trek.

An appreciative hum burns through the night air as Shirogane takes a sip of his own drink.

Bourbon, Keith thinks as light catches the amber liquid.

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” Shirogane volleys, arching a brow in silent question and something that feels a lot like a warning as he leans a hip against the same crystal holding him up. Keith’s heart responds with a sharp kick at the top of his ribcage, filling him with a nerve he’s never felt before. It’s raw as it works against him in crashing waves timed with the thumping bass of the music inside.

“Maybe you just aren’t observant,” he says, swallowing around the beating lump that’s stuck in his throat, offering what he hopes is a reassuring smile. Shirogane, to his credit, takes another sip as he languidly pulls another all consuming stare over him.

It feels as if he truly sees him. It’s one thing he shouldn’t want, yet he can’t help the small curl of warmth that burrows deep in his chest that makes him think that maybe he enjoys how it feels to be seen.

Making a sound in the back of his throat in disagreement, Shirogane shakes his head.

“I’m always observant when it comes to pretty things.”

A retort sticks to the inside of his throat as his mouth goes dry, eyes widening as he openly stares now.

“Do you know who I am?” Shirogane continues and it sounds like a test. It’s Keith’s turn to shake his head as he tries to quiet the pulse rivaling the sound of music in his ears.

“No,” he says as he tips his chin up in an act of defiance. The man’s smirk goes sharp with dark humor as he keeps his eyes on him, reaching forward with his metallic hand that glints ominously with the light. There are numerous stories about that arm, and most, Keith knows, are just rumors. But there’s one story in particular about how that arm had gotten him to the head of Atlas in the first place, that seems mired in truth.

It’s a weapon of the highest caliber. One with a death list a mile long, but resting against his cheek, it feels soft and oddly warm.

“Dance with me.” It isn’t a question, or even a request. It’s a command. One that Keith doesn’t want to follow, but he knows he will because it wraps deliciously around his throat.

For just a moment, he gets lost in the way the twisting lights catch in Shirogane’s white hair.

“I was taught to never dance with strangers,” Keith manages, trying to ignore the way his thumb brushes across his cheek. He means it as a challenge. A gamble to see just who his target will introduce himself as.

Not that it truly matters.

Either way, by the end of the night, his heart won’t be beating.

Shirogane’s smile only widens, touching his eyes as it pulls at their corners.

“Takashi.” He says the name easily as he pulls his hand away, instead taking Keith’s empty flute from his hand and dropping both their glasses on a passing tray.

“What?” In a moment of breathlessness, he forgets to add strength behind the word and he’s certain Shirogane’s missed it.

“My name is Takashi.” Takashi Shirogane. The name makes his veins sizzle as it spins around his mind, until he is almost dizzy with it. Lost to the repeating track, Keith almost misses the expectant look leveled on him.

“Keith,” he finally manages as he swallows down the bright taste tickling the back of his tongue. Shirogane’s smile only brightens.

“Now we aren’t strangers,” he replies, offering his hand. “Dance with me.”

Flicking his gaze between the Atlas leader and his outstretched hand, Keith mentally admonishes himself for even entertaining the idea. He really shouldn’t.

This is a dangerous game with high stakes, and Keith is one of the best players if only because he doesn’t make mistakes, and this is the biggest of them all.

Yet, trapped beneath the weight of Shirogane’s sharpened smile, an electric pulse across his chest tells him he’s going to make it anyway.

After what feels like an isolated eternity, Keith reaches out and takes his hand.

***

It’s decidedly warmer inside the mansion as Keith follows behind his mark, dragged forward through the flush of dancing bodies by the strong hold of his metallic hand. He feels the warm wetness of sweat as it gathers at his collar.

Letting his eyes wander across the crowd, he can’t help but feel underdressed in his oxblood dress shirt and tight fitted black pants amongst the sea of couture velvet and leather.

The only part of his ensemble that truly fit in with the theme, had been the leather garter belt that cinched his waist and ran straps down his hips and towards the garters at his thighs. Accented with shining metal buckles and rings, it was the perfect accessory to fulfill his stolen invites dress code, while simultaneously offering the perfect camouflage for the thin knife that weighed heavy against the front of his hip where it was hidden in the leather.

Shirogane’s hand grips tighter in his, pulling him back from the sharp blade of his thoughts and passed a group that had gathered right there on the dance floor.

Bodies turned golden by paint and metallic latex sway through the dense crowd, their skin catching light like the precious metal it’s meant to personify.

They’re meant as party favors. An offering to Shirogane’s guests, there are very few in the crowd that don’t show telltale signs of attention.

With gold peeking above collars and smeared across mouths, it’s obvious the type of favor that they’re meant to provide.

A golden woman eyes him with a hazy stare as she peels herself away from the throng of sweaty bodies, reaching toward him with a molten smile filled with intent. Sidestepping easily, Keith barely spares a glance back to see her hands land instead on the man who had been behind him.

Attention is not something he wishes to seek here.

At least, not her attention. The dangerous thought runs electric through him as he turns his own focus back to the broad figure pushing through the crowd before him.

It hadn’t escaped his notice that Shirogane was also missing the glittering touch of any gold.

Shirogane’s hold tightens briefly as he tugs him sharply towards him, twisting him so that Keith’s back hits his chest. A shiver traps itself between them as he looks out over the secluded corner that the mafia head had brought them to. There are few bodies here, and fewer wandering gazes as they melt into the shadows just barely touched by the swirling lights above.

“Not a fan of my gifts?” He growls close to Keith’s ear, the heat of his breath making the onyx waves around it dance as he closes his hands on either side of his hips.

A sharp spark rocks through his veins and makes his pulse leap as Keith realizes that they’re so large, they almost encircle his waist entirely.

Pressing back into his touch, he brushes his fingertips of the backs of Shirogane’s hands, humming over the dual sensation of burning skin and cool metal before he runs his touch up the length of the other man’s arms, following the path over his shoulders, and then behind his neck. With a gentle tug, Keith leads his face closer as he lets his head fall back until his lips brush against the skin just below Shirogane’s ear.

“I always preferred silver,” he says brusquely. Shirogane’s hips grind against his own, the harsh line of his length catching against his ass as he rumbles a pleased sound that vibrates through Keith’s back.

The mafia leader’s nose drags a staticky line down along his bared throat, the tickling rasp of stubble pushing a secretive smile across his lips. Keith runs hot as he feels lips press a soft kiss to his thrumming pulse followed by the sharp pinch of teeth.

“Good,” Shirogane says possessively, voice going dark as he presses the single word into his skin like a brand.

Rolling his hips back, Keith sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he feels Shirogane’s hands trace along the top of his harness. They linger at the buckle just above his belly button before they start their slow decent down the leather straps. Fire, bright and impossibly hot, lays in the wake of his touch as his palms as they pause at Keith’s hips, holding him close as he languidly rolls against him again.

A quiet moan escapes his lips before Shirogane’s hands continue their curious trail down toward the garter around his thighs. It isn’t until his fingers skim mere centimeters from the hidden hilt of his knife that Keith feels his heart jump with the intoxicating thrill of danger.

Quick as an adder, Keith’s hands catch Shirogane’s, pulling them away roughly as he spins to face the man. Fixing him with a look of clear intent, he places places his hands low on his own back before he pushes up to catch Shirogane’s mouth in a bruising kiss.

It’s almost terrifying, the way the electricity that shocks between them heightens into a full blown storm as Shirogane returns the kiss in kind, pressing his tongue to the seam of Keith’s lips without looking for invitation. He is a man used to taking, and Keith is all too willing to give as he lets him in.

Swallowing down the deep growl that Shirogane pushes into his mouth, Keith rolls his hips in primal search of friction. The fires of Shirogane’s touch blister down his back as he lets his hands wander lower, stopping only as they grab tightly at Keith’s ass.

“Takashi,” Keith hears himself moan, the breathiness of his voice turning it into something sinful.

Pulling back quickly at the sound of his name, Shirogane stares down at Keith with a stare mired in danger. Pinned beneath it, Keith understands how he had found his way to the top of a mile high pile of death, and he wonders distantly if he might be in over his head.

He thinks he might be since his nerves light with the need to run, but his veins fill with a desperate need to get lost to the depths of the darkness in those eyes.

Keith knows which wins out when Shirogane swipes his metal thumb across his bottom lip, collecting the wetness there before his lips quirk in a triumphant smirk. Wordlessly, he clutches at Keith’s arm, pulling him once more through the crowd and toward the staircase situated toward the back of the room.

Taking the stairs quickly, Shirogane gives a deft nod toward the two guards that step easily aside for him at the top.

“Keep an eye on things,” he orders harshly, voice promising a violent retribution should they do otherwise before he falls back into determined silence as he leads them down a long hall toward a set of heavy looking doors.

Keith only gets a moment to admire the dark wood before he finds himself pushed through them, his back slamming back against it before the door even finishes closing.

Lips press harshly against his own, continuing where they left off as Shirogane licks the back of his teeth. Hands return to his hips, tightening enough to bruise before he drags them down towards the back of Keith’s thighs. With a sharp tug, he’s pulling him up, crushing him between the door and his taller frame as Keith folds his legs around his hips.

The new position offers more friction as he rolls against Shirogane and scratches at the back of his nape. It’s intoxicating, and Keith thinks he could lose himself to this. Could let himself pretend this was just a hookup and that he wasn’t an assassin and Shirogane wasn’t a murderer.

If only he could just let himself.

Oh, if only, if only.

Slowly dragging a hand down from the back of his neck, Keith follows down the track of Shirogane’s shoulders and down his arm, coming to a rest at his own thigh. Keith’s fingers close around the metal ring there, slowly pulling the hidden knife free of its concealed sheath as he sucked Shirogane’s tongue further into his mouth. Blindly positioning it at his ribs, he lets a slow exhale through his nose.

Then he feels the cold press of a muzzle beneath his chin.

“I see you brought a knife to a gun fight,” Shirogane says, voice roughened by fire and slick delight. His eyes dance with the same fiery excitement as he stares down at his would be killer.

“Don’t underestimate what I could do to you with this knife before you can even think to pull that trigger,” Keith hisses, pressing the tip of his knife into Shirogane’s skin just hard enough to know he’ll feel the sting.

Instead of abating the bright look in his eyes, it earns him a low growling moan that’s almost animalistic as Shirogane rolls up against him.

“Oh, baby, you do know how to talk dirty.”

The flames deep in Keith’s gut flare, threatening to consume him as he feels himself grind down, meeting Shirogane’s thrusts mindlessly.

“Tell me one reason I shouldn’t finish my job right now, Shirogane,” he tries to snarl, not believing his own threat but praying nonetheless that the man before him does. If only to save a bit of face.

Never has he failed to complete a job.

But never has a job looked quite as good as Takashi Shirogane.

Keith sees the moment he picks up on his bluff. It’s not subtle at all as Shirogane’s eyes brighten in challenge. Pushing upward with the gun’s muzzle, he tilts Keith’s head back just enough to give himself better access to his throat. He tries— and fails— to swallow down the keening sound that escapes his chest as Shirogane laves a wet kiss just beneath his ear.

“Because I,” he starts, only pausing to place another open mouthed kiss just inches lower. His lips hover just above his quickened pulse for a moment, his breaths cooling the slick from his mouth before continuing.

“Can make you feel,” he pauses again to bite at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. It’s a dull pinch that is soothed slightly when Shirogane sucks gently at the skin.

“So good,” he finishes before licking a line back up the sinful path he’d trekked. Pausing to huff a small laugh that stirs the hair by Keith’s ear, he pulls back to level him with his stare. It shines like the polished metal forcing his chin upward, and it feels twice as dangerous.

“And, I so would hate to ruin such a beautiful face.”

The sharp clatter of metal on the marble floor pierces through the quiet din of the room as Keith drops his knife, instead grasping at his nape to pull him close for another heady and angry kiss. He swallows Shirogane’s triumphant sound, barely registering the heavier sound of his gun joining the dagger on the floor.

“I’ll still kill you,” Keith growls into his mouth, hips coming down against Shirogane’s as he walks them toward the bed at the back of the room. The world tilts as he lowers them both, pushing Keith back into the plush pillows at the headboard. Shirogane’s weight is all encompassing, and he covers  Keith wholly with his body, trapping him amongst the satin covered bedding before he finally decides to pull away.

“I look forward to it, Keith Kogane,” he rumbles wickedly.

Keith’s name on his tongue should scare him, he knows that. It means his cover was blown before he had even arrived, and yet he can’t quite bring himself to care as he arches up into Shirogane’s touch as he grasps him through his pants.

Mouth cracking wide around a gasp, Keith rocks up into his grasp, distantly aware of his other hand as it makes quick work of the buckles of his harness.

“Tonight, though, I want to make you scream,” Shirogane says, pushing the harness away from his waist and legs, tugging at them sharply and freeing them from his body. Quickly discarding them off the side of the bed, he loosens his hold on Keith’s length, instead dragging that hand slowly up toward his stomach.

“Does that sound okay with you, baby?” He asks, not waiting for an answer before he grabs at Keith’s shirt and rips it open, exposing his heaving chest to the air of the room. Keith doesn’t miss the way Shirogane’s eyes trail across the goosebumps that race along his skin.

“Yes,” he croaks, fisting his own hand into the lapel of Shirogane’s jacket and pulling at him.

“Good,” he laughs darkly before he lets himself be pulled back to Keith’s mouth. Licking into the warm wet heat, he lets his hands wander until they find the buttons of Shirogane’s jacket. Clumsily tugging them from their holes, Keith gives a small hum of pleasure as he finally pushes the jacket back from his shoulders.

Without pulling away from his kiss, Shirogane pulls the jacket the rest of the way off before dropping it on the ground beside the harness. The sound of ripping fabric plays in harmony with their gasping breaths as Keith rips his shirt in kind, letting his hands find the hard lines of Shirogane’s toned stomach as the ruined shirt joins their other clothing on the floor.

Feeling the muscles flutter at his touch, Keith smiles into the kiss as he lets his hands roam across the newly exposed expanse.

Keith hands run up the length of his flank, the tickling brush of his palm earning a full bodied shudder as Shirogane quickly undoes the buttons of his pants. It’s then that he finally pulls away to violently tug the confining pants from Keith’s frame.

The assassin admires the way Shirogane’s chest heaves with his breath as he towers over him, and the way sweat has gathered along his collar. In the light, it’s almost as if his skin is gilded just like his so called party favors on the dance floor, and the very thought makes Keith ache as he reaches back out toward him.

Leaning back into Keith’s arms easily, Shirogane rolls against him as his mouth finds his pulse once more. Sucking dark marks into his throat, Keith finds himself burning with the knowledge that he’ll wear Shirogane’s marks for days.

A contented sigh parts his lips as he rakes his nails down the meat of Shirogane’s shoulder blades, relishing in the way it makes the man move against him. The power that radiates through Shirogane is a near palpable thing, one that lights him with awe and the potent thrum of a want so strong that he can’t breathe around it.

Pressing his face upward into his shoulder, Keith tries to force the air in and out of his lungs as Shiro continues decorate his skin with a glorious collection of purples and blacks. A particularly wet suckle pushes what little air had still been left in his lungs through his mouth.

Chasing after it, Keith presses his teeth to Shirogane’s shoulder and bites down hard, mouth filling with the salty, metallic tang of blood.

A grunted sound of delight and pain vibrates through him as Shirogane’s hand fists tightly in his hair, and then he finds himself flipped with half his face shoved into the mattress.

“Baby,” Shirogane hushes, and Keith can’t tell if it’s meant to be a praise or an admonishment as the hold in his hair still dances along the line of pleasure and pain. His other hand caresses his hip before gently pulling it upward so that his ass is tilted upward. There’s the soft sound of leather pulling from metal as Shirogane undoes his belt, followed by the quiet rustle of fabric before he feels the hot drag of his length between his cheeks.

The sound Keith makes is high and reedy as he feels the head drag over his aching, wanting entrance.

“You’re going to be so good for me,” Shirogane growls as he leans over his back to place the words right at his ear, grip tightening on his hair.

“Only if you’re good for me,” Keith grits, bucking back into him. His eyelashes flutter at the soft brush of Shirogane’s groan at his ear.

“Yes,” he says, sounding almost as needy as Keith feels.

The heat along his back disappears as Shirogane pulls away. It feels like Keith is caught in a void in time as the only touch that remains is Shirogane’s grasp on his hair, before he feels the slick glide of a finger over his rim.

Bracing his arms outward, Keith clutches at the satin beneath him as he the sure press and gentle give as Shirogane presses his finger inward.

“Takashi,” Keith exhales as he pushes back against Shirogane’s hand. It’s the only invitation he seems to need as he starts to work him open with deft fingers. Soon after the first, he adds a second, and not too long after that, a third. His grip on the sheets only tightens at the rushed speed of Shirogane’s work, but still delighting in the sting of his intrusion. Each and every brush of his fingers moving inside him fans the flames in his gut until he’s certain his skin won’t be able to contain the fire.

He’s going to burn, and he’s going to take this whole damn mansion down with him.

Keith presses his smile into the mattress at the thought.

“Are you ready, baby?” Shirogane asks as he pulls his fingers away. The blunt tip of his dick nudges at his entrance before his hand finds itself on his hip. With the breadth of them both, his fingers nearly touch at his navel, just above where Keith’s dick stand hard against his stomach.

“Please, Takashi, please,” he hears himself almost sob before he pushes back against Shirogane, teeth gritting as the thick head pushes into him. Their moans are twinned as he starts to push further into him, inch by grueling inch, until he bottoms out.

Keith thinks he might just split apart with how full he is as Shirogane pauses in his movement, allowing them both a moment to just breathe.

Each of their gasps come in sync as Keith tries to find a way to ground himself. It’s all too much and yet not enough and he desperately needs. He aches with it, and he thinks he says as much because then Shirogane is moving in earnest.

He sets a brutal pace as he jackhammers into him, each staccato snap pressing Keith’s further into the mattress. There’s a brief moment of bitter clarity when he registers that the high pitched keens that match the tempo of Shirogane’s thrusts are pulling from his own mouth.

Keith’s knuckles protest as his grip tightens further in the sheets and he turns his face down into the mattress to muffle his sounds.

A palm traces down the line of his spine, traveling between his shoulder blades and finally wrapping around his throat before it wrenches him upward and back into Shirogane’s lap. The sudden change in position pushes him further into Keith, rubbing just right inside him and exploding stars in his vision.

Shirogane’s hold on his throat squeezes lightly as his other hand brushes across the expanse of his hip and finds his painfully hard length. Another high pitched gasp rocks through Keith at the contact, his hips pushing up into Shirogane’s fist and then coming back down on his cock before repeating the motion at a frenzied pace.

His vision starts to blur at its edges as Keith turns his head over his shoulder, blindly searching for Shirogane’s mouth. Appeasing him, he leans in close, pressing their open mouths together and swallowing each and every one of Keith’s punched out sounds.

The fire in his belly reaches an unimaginable pitch as it spreads through him. It races along the lines of his veins as he pushes his hands back to clutch at Shirogane’s shoulders, and as his toes begin to curl. Biting down around the aching burn, his teeth catch sharply on Shirogane’s lip, causing him to tighten his hold on Keith’s length.

White light, bright and inescapable, blots out his sight as he comes with the taste of Shirogane’s blood and violence on his tongue. His fist continues to pump over him, smearing his softening cock with his own cum as he chases his own pleasure and follows shortly after with a shout.

Keith’s hold on his shoulders tightens for just a moment as he tries to catch his breath, timing each inhale and exhale with the loud sound of his heartbeat crashing in his ears. The edges of his vision continues to blur as the soft, hazy brush of his pleasure feathers out through him, replacing the roiling heat of the now sated fires.

He thinks he hears a soft question at his ear, followed by the hush of a laugh on his cheek, but its all lost to him as he starts to settle into the warm depths of the after glow.

Lids growing heavy, he faintly registers the slow slide of Shirogane as he pulls out of him and sets him gently on the bed. Somewhere, just on the edges of his mind, he thinks he feels the gentle drag of something warm along his skin.

Keith thinks maybe, he feels the soft touch of a kiss at his temple, but by then, he’s already out.

***

Keith’s eyes protest against the bright sunlight as he slowly blinks them open. The room isn’t one he recognizes, and neither is the bed, at least, not until the night comes crashing back into his memory like a freight train.

Sitting up quickly, ignoring the drag of the satin as it pools around his waist, a rush of adrenaline cascades through his veins as he runs an alert glare across the room.

There isn’t sign of anyone else there, or even of the night’s activities. The only proof of what happened sits at the foot of his bed in the form of his folded clothes, and something about that makes him ache.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he pushes himself further back into the pillows so he’s sitting fully upright when a glint at the corner of his eye catches his attention.

Turning to the nightstand beside him, he can’t help the slow, hungry grin that turns his lips upward.

A note lays atop the mahogany with his knife stabbed through it.

Catch me if you can, it says, and beneath it is a smear of gold.

*********************

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Colorado Snowstorm Knocks Out Power to Thousands and Snarls Travel (NYT) A snowstorm sweeping through Colorado and Wyoming on Sunday was expected to bring as much as four feet of snow to some parts of the region, and has left nearly 30,000 people without power in Colorado. The storm brought heavy, wet snow and downed trees and power lines. More than 20,000 customers near Greeley, Colo., about 50 miles north of Denver, were without power on Sunday, according to Xcel Energy. More than 2,500 people around Fort Collins, about 1,500 near Loveland and about 3,000 people in the Denver suburbs were also without power. A blizzard warning was in effect on Sunday for Colorado’s Front Range, an area that includes the Interstate 25 corridor from south of Denver up through Cheyenne, Wyo. The National Weather Service warned that an additional two to six inches of snow and wind gusts as high as 45 miles per hour could create “nearly impossible travel conditions.”

Florida’s pandemic response gets a second look from the national media (Axios) After a solid year of living with a pandemic, the national press is beginning to ask the question that even Democrats have been quietly pondering in the Sunshine State: Was Gov. Ron DeSantis’ pandemic response right for Florida? More than 32,000 Floridians have died, but our death rate is no worse than the national average—and better than some states with tighter restrictions. On Sunday’s front page, the New York Times explored the positives—from the booming real-estate market to Florida’s low unemployment rate—of an early reopening: “Much of the state has a boomtown feel,” writes Patricia Mazzei, “a sense of making up for months of lost time.” The Times notes that Florida’s unemployment rate is 5.1%, compared to 9.3% in California, 8.7% in New York and 6.9% in Texas. “That debate about reopening schools? It came and went months ago. Children have been in classrooms since the fall.” The closer you are to either loss or to the fullness of life will likely determine how you feel about the state’s response.

Quaking in their beds, sleepless Icelanders await volcanic eruption (Reuters) Icelanders are yearning for some undisturbed shut-eye after tremors from tens of thousands of earthquakes have rattled their sleep for weeks in what scientists call an unprecedented seismic event, which might well end in a spectacular volcanic eruption. “At the moment we’re feeling it constantly. It’s like you’re walking over a fragile suspension bridge,” Rannveig Gudmundsdottir, a lifelong resident in the town of Grindavik, told Reuters. Grindavik lies in the southern part of the Reykjanes Peninsula, a volcanic and seismic hot spot, where more than 40,000 earthquakes have occurred since Feb. 24. Located between the Eurasian and the North American tectonic plates, Iceland frequently experiences earthquakes as the plates slowly drift in opposite directions at a pace of around 2 centimetres each year. “Everyone here is so tired,” Gudmundsdottir, a 5th grade school teacher, said. “When I go to bed at night, all I think about is: Am I going to get any sleep tonight?” Authorities in Iceland warned of an imminent volcanic eruption on the peninsula in early March, but said they did not expect it to disturb international air traffic or damage critical infrastructure nearby.

Vigil To Reclaim The Streets From Vigilance (CNN) Sarah Everard, a 33-year-old marketing executive, disappeared on March 3 while walking home from a friend’s home in London’s southern neighborhood of Clapham. Her body was found inside a builder’s bag in a wooded area. A 48-year-old police officer has been charged with kidnapping and killing her. On Saturday, thousands of people gathered in Clapham Common to pay tribute to Everard despite planned nationwide vigils having been canceled due to pandemic restrictions. As darkness fell, police officers began grabbing women in the crowd and making arrests. Videos posted on social media showed officers violently dragging some female protesters away and throwing others to the ground and handcuffing them. Women’s rights activists in the UK are reeling from the Metropolitan Police’s heavy-handed approach. There’s also been political fallout, with a member of Parliament reading out the names of 118 women murdered last year. In a new poll, over 70% of UK women said they had been sexually harassed in public spaces. The figure rose to 97% among women aged 18-24. 45% said they didn’t believe reporting the incidents to officials would change anything.

Dutch police break up thousands of anti-lockdown protesters (The Hill) Police in the Netherlands dispersed thousands of anti-lockdown protesters outside the Hague on Sunday, one day before national elections begin in the country. Reuters reports that police used batons and water cannons to disperse the crowd who authorities said were ignoring social distancing rules as well as warnings from authorities. Many of those gathered in the crowd held up yellow umbrellas and signs in opposition that read “Love, freedom, stop dictatorship,” according to Reuters. The country has been under an intense lockdown since January, Reuters notes, with gatherings of more than two people banned and the first night-time curfew issued since World War II. When the lockdown was extended, it sparked several days of rioting across the country. According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), the Netherlands has confirmed over 1.1 million coronavirus cases and more than 16,000 related deaths.

Spain to launch trial of four-day working week (The Guardian) Spain could become one of the first countries in the world to trial the four-day working week after the government agreed to launch a modest pilot project for companies interested in the idea. Earlier this year, the small leftwing Spanish party Más País announced that the government had accepted its proposal to test out the idea. From New Zealand to Germany, the idea has been steadily gaining ground globally. Hailed by its proponents as a means to increase productivity, improve the mental health of workers and fight climate change, the proposal has taken on new significance as the pandemic sharpens issues around wellbeing, burnout and work-life balance. Leftwing parties in Spain—where a 44-day strike in Barcelona in 1919 resulted in the country becoming one of the first in western Europe to adopt the eight-hour workday—have seized on the idea. “Spain is one of the countries where workers put in more hours than the European average. But we’re not among the most productive countries,” said Iñigo Errejón of Más País. “I maintain that working more hours does not mean working better.”

Major European nations suspend use of AstraZeneca vaccine (AP) A cascading number of European countries—including Germany, France, Italy and Spain—suspended use of AstraZeneca’s COVID-19 vaccine Monday over reports of dangerous blood clots in some recipients, though the company and international regulators say there is no evidence the shot is to blame. AstraZeneca’s formula is one of three vaccines in use on the continent. But the escalating concern is another setback for the European Union’s vaccination drive, which has been plagued by shortages and other hurdles. The EU’s drug regulatory agency called a meeting for Thursday to review experts’ findings on the AstraZeneca shot and decide whether action needs to be taken.

Myanmar junta orders martial law in 6 Yangon townships (AP) Myanmar’s ruling junta has declared martial law in six townships in the country’s largest city, as security forces killed dozens of protesters over the weekend in an increasingly lethal crackdown on resistance to last month’s military coup. At least 38 people were killed Sunday and dozens were injured in one of the deadliest days of the crackdown on anti-coup protesters, according to the Assistance Association for Political Prisoners, or AAPP, an independent group tracking the toll of the violence. Several estimates from other sources gave higher figures.

Flights canceled during China’s worst sandstorm in a decade (AP) China’s capital and a wide swath of the country’s north were enveloped Monday in the worst sandstorm in a decade, forcing the cancelation of hundreds of flights. Skyscrapers in the center of Beijing appeared to drop from sight amid the dust and sand. Traffic was snarled and more than 400 flights out of the capital’s two main airports were canceled amid high winds and low visibility. The National Meteorological Center said Monday’s storm had developed in the Gobi Desert in the Inner Mongolia Region, where schools had been advised to close and bus service added to reduce residents’ exposure to the harsh conditions. The National Meteorological Center forecasted the sand and dust would affect 12 provinces and regions from Xinjiang in the far northwest to Heilongjiang in the northeast and the eastern coastal port city of Tianjin.

Taiwan’s boom (NYT) Taiwan, home to 24 million people, has seen fewer than 1,000 cases of Covid-19 and just 10 coronavirus-related deaths. Prior to 2020, lots of Taiwanese and dual nationals moved abroad and only came back for a visit. After the pandemic hit, Taiwan closed its borders to almost all foreign visitors. Protocols put in place include temperature checks, hand-sanitizing, mask-wearing (except in schools), rigorous contact tracing, and strict quarantines for incoming travelers. Taiwanese nationals returned, and about 270,000 more stayed than left. As a result, the island is experiencing a real economic boom. Exports have been rising for eight months, fueled by shipments of electronics and surging demand for semiconductor chips. Domestic tourism is exploding. The economy grew more than 5% in the fourth quarter compared with the same time period in 2019. And every day restaurants, bars, aFor Law Enforcementnd cafes are packed, office buildings hum, and schools are filled with laughing, unmasked children. “We just feel very lucky and definitely a little guilty,” said a product manager for a Bay Area tech company who returned to Taipei with his wife and young son last May. “We feel like we are the ones who benefited from the pandemic.”

United States and Iran warily circle each other over reactivating nuclear deal (Washington Post) The United States is willing to sit down with Iran “tomorrow” and jointly agree to full compliance with the nuclear accord they and five other world powers signed in 2015, according to a senior Biden administration official. Iran has made equally clear it shares the goal of going back to the terms of the original agreement, before President Donald Trump pulled out of it. But nearly two months into Biden’s presidency, with Iran’s own contentious presidential election approaching in June, the two sides have been unable even to talk to each other about what both say they want. Iran wants all Trump sanctions lifted and an immediate influx of cash from the release of blocked international loans and frozen funds, along with foreign investment and removal of bans on oil sales. It seeks assurances that the next U.S. administration won’t jettison the deal again. For its part, the Biden administration wants a reactivated deal, known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, or JCPOA, to serve as a “platform” to renegotiate its sunset provisions—the future dates when certain provisions are set to expire. It wants to move quickly to discussions about its other problems with Iran, including Tehran’s ballistic missile program and its use of proxy forces in Iraq, Syria and beyond, and human rights abuses. Both sides continue to wait for the other to prove its good faith with “you, first” rhetoric.

‘Republic of Queues’: 10 years on, Syria is a hungry nation (AP) The lines stretch for miles outside gas stations in Syrian cities, with an average wait of five hours to fill up a tank. At bakeries, people push and shove during long, chaotic waits for their turn to collect the quota of two bread packs a day per family. On the streets in the capital of Damascus, beggars accost motorists and passers-by, pleading for food or money. Medicines, baby milk and diapers can hardly be found. As Syria marks the 10th anniversary Monday of the start of its uprising-turned-civil war, President Bashar Assad may still be in power, propped up by Russia and Iran. But millions of people are being pushed deeper into poverty, and a majority of households can hardly scrape together enough to secure their next meal. “Life here is a portrait of everyday humiliation and suffering,” said one woman in Damascus. Her husband lost his job at an electronics store last month, and now the family is drawing on meager savings that are evaporating fast. With two kids and an elderly father to care for, she said life had become unbearably difficult and she is gripped by anxiety for the future. Until recently, she could smuggle in her father’s medicines from Lebanon, but now Lebanon has its own meltdown and shortages.

[knightsolaireofthesun]

Made a new race for my new home brew setting! Made rules for it to be playable for some reason. I think the idea could be fun though

Fildern:

The Fildern are a race of Fey creatures and victims of a curse placed upon them that alters their appearance and physiology.

Appearance: A Fildern’s skin is jet back and even their eyes lack pigment. The only color on their body comes in the form of bone growths that push out through the skin forming natural armored plates on their body. These bone growths can vary from Fildern to Fildern, but grow most commonly on the forearms and shins. It's not unheard of though for this armor to form on the chest, shoulders, back, or hands. They usually only have these growths on one or two parts of their body, however all Fildern also have a bone mask that covers their face. The mask is smooth and featureless and only has holes for the eyes. In addition to this the Fildern also have a long, slender tail and usually have lengthy, wild black hair.

As it can be difficult to tell one FIldern from another, especially to outsiders, they take great pride and joy in adorning and outfitting themselves. Most Fildern sport paintings on their masks and bone armor unique to them, and some will even go so far as to carve designs into the bone. This is quite painful however and their masks never stop growing so such engravings are only temporary. Since their masks continue to regenerate and grow, many Fildern file them down and shape them to form horns that curve up over their head. Some however keep their mask simple while some let it grow all the way around their head, a process that normally takes decades.

Information: Fildern society is one governed by tenants of selflessness, respect, and empathy, and as such they are almost always good aligned. Their people, long since residents of the Fey wild, have many similarities with the inhabitants there. They are insatiably curious, playful, and expressive. They constantly search for new things to discover and revel in learning about new things and acquiring thrilling experiences. It is not expected for a Fildern to stay in one place for long although they typically return home for lengthy periods between adventures. Fildern can, during certain lunar cycles, relative to the material realm, travel between planes at will. They use this ability extensively to explore the multiverse, meet its many peoples, and spread their ideals. It is expected for even young Fildern to leave the tribe at any time it wishes to discover what the world has to offer.

The first tribe of Fildern still exists and maintains a steady population in the Fey wild. They welcome anyone and offer aid to travelers. It also acts as a hub for traveling Fildern to return to when need be. There are, throughout the multiverse, several other small tribes of Fildern. Some are connected to the first, some are independent. Most hold to the same values of their ancestors. While they do not typically seek to assimilate people, they do on occasion grow their populations. A Fildern can mate with most humanoid creatures, and when they do the progeny is always a Fildern. Although it may have the physical characteristics of the non-Fildern parent, the child will have black skin, a mask, a tail, and be mute. Many people in the material plane and elsewhere find the Fildern off putting or strange, and such unions are rare but help to diversify the Fildern population.

Communication: All Fildern lack mouths and are therefore mute, being unable to create even grunts or hums. They do not need to eat or drink, istead gathering energy from the living beings around them. This does not take anything from other creatures and a Fildern on its own for several months will essentially starve. Since they are mute, they have created an intricate form of sign language they use to communicate. Its movements resemble dances and involve wide gestures, jumps, and intricate hand signs. They also have a simpler form of this language used with just the hands for when dancing is not possible such as in confined areas or refined situations. They disdain using this form of talk as it is much simpler and not as expressive. They also have a language consisting of tapping sounds at different intervals. This language is even simpler and cannot convey many complex ideas. It is only used when Fildern cannot see one another. A non-Fildern creature can learn this tapping language after 4 months of study. With this in mind Fildern have a natural disdain for darkness and confined spaces and become anxious in such scenarios. Communication is sacred to them.

They have let this atribute become their strength and passion and their society is formed around self expressions as one of its main virtues. They often celebrate and host lavish festivals during which FIlderns dance and perform and create art. To an outsider, a conversation between two of them is an intricate choreography of sweeps, leaps, and signs. They can dance and tell a story at the same time and their songs are phrased in ways that use complementary motions that both look pleasing while conveying meaningful lyrics. It goes without saying that most Fildern are in terrific shape,as simply a long conversation can leave one exhausted.

Fildern also have a written language composed of runes made from intertwined, curving lines.

History: Legends say that the Fildern were once a humanoid tribe that ventured into the Feywild following tales of treasures and power. They pillaged their way through the magical wilderness in an attempt to find such obsessions when they caught the gaze of an Archfey known as “The Silvermoon Owl” who placed a powerful curse on them as punishment for their avarice and selfishness. The curse altered their physiology and mutated them into ghostly creatures. The hex also robbed them of their voices and faces. The powerful spirit gave them an ultimatum: reform their wicked ways and devote their society to pure and enlightened ideals, or wallow forever in darkness.

The Fildern at first resisted the Spirit and sought other ways to remove the curse, going so far as to try and slay the Great Owl. This proved fruitless however and it was many years before the tribe began to understand their place. In the meantime they had learned to survive in an alien world and adapted to the changes the curse had laid upon them. Once they had become strong and independent, the remainder of them attempted to heed the Silvermoon Owl’s omen and began to devote themselves to ideals of selflessness and harmony. It was not an easy process and it would be several generations before the Fildern had eventually transformed themselves into a people filled with spirit, courage, empathy, and light. Once the last of the original tribesmen died, none were left but those who had known no other life than the curse, but it bothered them little for they had no previous existence to mourn. Without any remorse, any spite towards the Owl, the Great Spirit decided that their debt had been repaid. What was once a tribe of raiders and thieves became a people of hope and purity. True to his word as any a Fey, the Owl offered to lift the curse from the people. In an ironic turn of events, the Fildern refused to have the curse removed. Poetically, as they had worked so hard to become a better people, they had also forged an identity for themselves. They were proud of themselves; their appearance, language, and customs were part of who they were now. They instead beseeched the spirit for a gift that would aid them in carrying out and propagating their new ideals. The Owl agreed and granted the Fildern people the power to walk between the planes through his influence. He told them that when the moon reaches full, and his power is at its peak, the pathways between worlds would open for them. With that, the Fildern began to spread to other planes to aid others, spread their ideals, or simply to explore.

Fildern Racial Features:

Fildern Names: Since they do not speak with syllables, Fildern names must be composed of words that exist within their language. When a name is chosen, a Fildern will often accentuate one of the movements in its sign, such as the wave of a finger or twirl of the wrist where there normally would not be one. These accentuations often connotate certain personality traits and are chosen by the Fildern when they become a young adult. Fildern names are unisexual. When translated and written out, the accentuation is written in parenthesis following the name.

Names: Gale’s Bite (Courage), Whistler Reed (Pride), Falling Spirit (Curiosity), Grace (Compassion), Sanctity (Diligence)

Ability Score Increase: Your Dexterity increases by 2 and either your Intelligence or Wisdom increases by 1.

Age: Fildern live long enough to satisfy their curiosity and desire to explore, about 250 years. They mature at the same rate as humans.

Alignment: Fildern have spent generations reshaping their society to appease the Silvermoon Owl. They are almost always good aligned but some of them, usually independent of their tribes, may fall into other alignments based on their experiences.

Size: Fildern vary wildly from just over three feet to just under seven, normally influenced by their non-Fildern bood. Your size is medium.

Speed: Your walking speed is 30 feet.

Blessed by the Owl: During the full moon on the material plane, once per month, you may cast Plane Shift without any components. Once used, you cannot cast it again until the next full moon.

Bone Plating: Your unarmored AC is 12 plus your Dexterity modifier.

Curse of Greed and Blood: You are mute, unable to even make vocal noises. You do not need food or water, but if you spend one month separated from any creature with more than 5 Intelligence, you gain one point of exhaustion each day until you die.

Fey Ancestry: You have advantage on saving throws against being charmed and magic can’t put you to sleep. You count as Fey.

Languages: You Understand and can write all three types of Fildern, as well as Common, Sylvan, and one language of your choice, but you cannot speak.

[dointoomuchsworld]

URT amidst the Pharma war

WUpon selecting a communication theory for this blog entry, I decided, why not- let’s just Google search: “what communication theory can be related to the anti-vax crowd”? The top six search results and their links that pop up spew these headlines and additional phrases:

1. “The anti-vaccination infodemic on social media: A behavioral…: However, the anti-vaccination movement is currently on the rise, spreading online misinformation about vaccine safety and causing a worrying…” (www.journals.plos.org) 

2. “How to respond to vocal vaccine deniers in public- WHO: a vocal vaccine denier is defined in this document as a person who is not only denying scientific consensus but also actively advocating against vaccination…” (World Health Organization 2017 Regional Office for Europe). 

3. “Vaccine hesitancy is a problem attracting growing attention and concern.” (www.sciencedirect.com) 

4. “The online competition between pro- and anti-vaccination… Distrust in scientific expertise is dangerous… Results show that even if anti-vaccine narratives have a small persuasiveness, a large part of the population will be rapidly exposed to them. ” (www.nature.com) 

5. “Conspiracy Beliefs, Rejection of Vaccination, and…: Many conspiracy theories appeared along with the Covid-19 pandemic. Since it is documented that conspiracy theories negatively affect…” (www.frontiersin.org) 

6. “Combating Vaccine Hesitancy: Teaching the Next Generation… In 1999, the anti-vaxxer movement, an organized body of people who refuse to vaccinate and blaming vaccines for health problems” (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov) 

Well, this didn’t answer my question. It was surely a lot to read as we dive into my entry here, and it slapped someone with my way of thinking with some shut-down labels: dangerous, misinformed, science-denier, nonconsensual, behaviorally problematic, conspiracist, rejecter.

Do you know what these Google search results say to me? Censorship. 

I am selecting the communication theory of Uncertainty Reduction Theory to apply towards my discussion of the pro-vaccine/anti-vaccine war. 

Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) asserts that “people have a need to reduce uncertainty about others by gaining information about them” (Berger, C.R., & Bradac, J.J.) The information gained can be used to predict the others’ behavior. Reducing uncertainty can be particularly beneficial in relationship development, so it is more typical amongst people when they expect or want to develop a relationship than among people who expect or know they will not develop a relationship.

We have a few basic ways people seek information about another person:

1. Passive strategies: we observe the person, either in situations where the individual is likely to be self-monitoring (in a classroom; in the stands of a public event)

2. Active strategies: we ask others about the person we’re interested in, or set up a way to observe that person (sign up for the same class; sitting at a different table in the same restaurant)

3. Interactive strategies: we communicate directly with the person.

I believe this theory can be used to my topic of discussion because if we are in one of the hottest moments of the ongoing anti- and pro- vaccine movement and pharmaceutical war with COVID-19 at the forefront of it all, no matter which side we put our beliefs, followings, trust, or knowledge in, we seek out others with the same data, statistics, views, and agreeability. We strive to reduce uncertainty with others by gaining their information to benefit one another, and either develop ongoing relationships, or not. If we observe or interact with others to discover where their loyalties lay, we either discuss, debate--or worst of all, we fight like cats and dogs to what seems like the death--or come to an understanding and continue or discontinue the developed relationship. 

Let’s begin how I feel within the war on vaccines. I, if you will, an introvert who isn’t so fond of putting my opinions out there, am publicly posting this in hopes of finding others and reducing my uncertainty about how others may feel, or find if they may feel similarly so that I may stand with them or offer them strength in opinions and studies. Or maybe, just to prompt an open discussion.

1. Pro-vaccine

2. Anti-vaccine

Unnecessary and divisive labels meant to categorize people into black and white thinking.

Where is the label for: I think it’s perfectly logical to want the ability to make decisions about each vaccine available on an individual basis for each of my children and myself?

Pfizer is going for full FDA approval and might have it by the end of this month, emergency approval has already been granted for 12-15 year-olds, and in September emergency approval will be requested for 2-11 year-olds. 

How can you get granted EAU for an experimental drug in an age group that isn’t having an emergency? To protect vaccinated adults? Sacrificing your healthy child for an illness that doesn’t affect them so that vaccinated adults may think you’re a good person and may give you permission to move freely about your lives?

Nothing says I don’t believe in science more than vaccinating a 2-year-old for COVID. 

Imagine being excited to experiment on your own child.

Children don’t stand a chance in this pharmaceutical industry that for decades have put profit ahead of doing what is right. Additionally but important to note, the pharmaceutical industry has not prioritized the research and development of cancer drugs for children. They rely on treating children with adult cancer drugs, which are far more dangerous, toxic, and aggressive on a child’s developing body, because adult cancer drugs are some of the best-selling pharmaceuticals for companies such as Merck & Co., Pfizer, AstraZeneca, Bristol-Myers Squibb, and J&J.

Here is an incomplete current list of places making the COVID vaccine mandatory, either for employment or for on site services: Montgomery County Prosecutor’s Officer; WPAFB (when it is FDA approved); Atria Senior Living; Rocky River Senior Center; Continuing Healthcare Solutions; Newburgh Heights city employees; Supers Landscape; Cleveland State University; Kenyon College; Cleveland Clinic fertility center: spouses required to have two doses of vaccine before being able to be present for embryo transfers. Kroger grocery stores now mandate proof of vaccination of its employees in order for employees to de-mask. This is marking the unclean versus clean. Here we are, segregating healthy people and in many circumstances being told to show our private healthcare papers.

There is no place for this behavior in a free society. This is discrimination based on vaccine status. 

A business in Preble County is allowing employees who have taken the coronavirus vaccine to use the fitness room while those who have not, or are naturally immune, are not allowed access. They can work there but they cannot work out there... is this about health?

What changes have you made for yourself as an individual this pandemic to benefit your health and wellness?

The NFL continues to separate their unvaccinated athletes from their fellow vaccinated athletes. Separate practice areas, separate eating areas, and de-masking only those who have been vaccinated. Discontinuing COVID testing twice a week only for the vaccinated. Not allowing the unvaccinated to leave the hotel while traveling with the teams. As if either party is not safe to be around.

As a writer considering her reader, I’m wondering if you’re celebrating right now in regards to these advances, or raising some eyebrows. As for me, it fills me with a primitive rage that I feel only when someone endangers my children.

But let’s keep going.

Vaccines are necessarily risky, as recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court and by Congress. 

The risk: benefit ratio varies with the frequency and severity of disease, vaccine safety, and individual patient factors. These must be evaluated by patient and physician, not imposed government, corporations, or other bureaucrats.

The smallpox vaccine is so dangerous that you can’t get it now, despite the weaponization of smallpox. Rabies vaccine is given only after a suspected exposure or to high-risk persons such as veterinarians. The whole-cell pertussis vaccine was withdrawn from the U.S. market, a decade later than from the Japanese market, because of reports of severe permanent brain damage. The acellular vaccine that replaced it is evidently safer, though somewhat less effective. 

After being fully informed of the risks and benefits of a medical procedure, patients have the right to reject or accept that procedure. Preemption of patients’ or parents’ decisions about accepting drugs or other medical interventions is a serious intrusion into individual liberty, autonomy, and parental decisions about child-rearing.

Forcing Ohioans or anyone into receiving an experimental medical intervention in exchange for freedom to go to work or participate in society is contrary to fundamental human rights.

How does one feel about the persuasion to vote YES on Ohio HB 248? How’s this for propaganda: Vote YES, join the movement, on the Vaccine Choice and Anti-Discrimination Act.

This Ohio House Bill was introduced on April 6, 2021, and is in 25% progression (LegiScan). Per this Republican Partisan Bill, OH HB248 is to enact section 3792.02 of the Revised Code to authorize an individual to decline a vaccination and to name this act the Vaccine Choice and Anti-Discrimination Act.

Why should we do this? This is a stand for health freedom, for medical freedom; a vital legislation to protect vaccine choice for Ohioans now and into the future. If this legislation isn't passed, you can expect that vaccine mandates and vaccine passports will become a reality of our future. And even if you're fine with the traditional vaccines, even if you have always gotten the flu vaccine, and even if you decided to get the COVID vaccine... Ohioans will be faced with the reality that any future vaccine can be mandated by the state, retailers, employers, schools etc., and we'll have zero to say about it. This legislation will protect all Ohioans from the dystopia that we're currently facing.

Do I sound like one who denies the expertise of science now? I stand with science. I stand with informed consent. I stand with freedom. I stand with healthcare professionals. I stand with Ohio workers. I stand with parents. I stand with students. I stand with this bill for the people, by the people. 

In the year 1983, the total doses of vaccines for children from birth to age 18 consisted of 24 doses and 7 injections. As of 2020, we now administer 69 doses with 50 injections. The CDC child vaccination schedule is bloated, and I will say it from the mountaintops, no matter the reaches for justification. 

Advanced Pediatric, a Cleveland area pediatric practice, is embracing the idea that unvaccinated children are not safe, and must stay masked and distanced, including from others on the playground (advancedped.com). How badly will we damage our children’s social and emotional health with this kind of discriminatory action propagated by adults that are supposed to be protecting them?

Prior to COVID, measles was the much-publicized threat used to push for mandates, and is probably the worst threat among the vaccine-preventable illnesses because it is so highly contagious. There are occasional outbreaks, generally starting with an infected individual coming from somewhere outside the U.S. The majority, but by no means all the people who catch the measles have not been vaccinated. Almost all make a full recovery, with robust, life-long immunity. 

The last measles death in the U.S. occurred in 2015, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Is it justified to revoke the rights of all Americans because of the hypothetical risk that a person who cannot be vaccinated due to immune deficiency might catch measles from an unvaccinated American, rather than from a visitor or a person whose artificial vaccine-based immunity has waned? Such mandates establish a precedent for ever-greater restrictions on our right to give—or withhold—consent to medical interventions?

So as I continue, and back to the focus on the COVID fiasco that I am pondering… Per the CDC website in the association with the COVID vaccine, VAERS reports that in the last four months we have recorded more deaths from the COVID vaccine than from all vaccines combined from mid 1997 through the end of 2013. As of April 30, there are 3,837 cases where the COVID-vaccinated patient has died within days to weeks after their intervention. 384 pages of patients age, sex, location, date of vax, date of onset, who administered it, who the manufacturer is, whether they were taken to the ER, and the symptoms or prior health conditions if any.

Adverse events from drugs and vaccines are common, but underreported. Although 25% of ambulatory patients experience an adverse drug event, less than 0.3% of all adverse drug events and 1-13% of serious events are reported to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) (Lazarus, Klompas). Low reporting rates preclude or slow the identification of “problem” drugs or vaccines that endanger public health. Barriers to reporting include a lack of clinician awareness, uncertainty about when and what to report, as well as the burdens of reporting. Reporting is not usually part of a clinicians’ workflow, takes time, and is duplicative (Lazarus, Klompas). 

VAERS is a passive reporting system. Healthcare workers are not required to submit reports of deaths or injuries. VAERS only reports 1% of actual injuries according to a report prepared under contract with The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (Lazarus, Klompas).

To recap those last several paragraphs, we are constantly told those who decline vaccines for illnesses they themselves are at very little risk for developing complications from, are putting the immunocompromised at risk. What we don’t often hear is that the procedure itself comes with risk and what that risk level is exactly is unknown. 

What we do know is that only somewhere between 1-10% of adverse events are ever reported largely due to medical professionals' lack of awareness on the subject matter. We cannot force healthy people to undergo a medical procedure for which the administrator of and manufacturer have no liability when we know there is innate risk. We can’t trade one group's theoretical risk for another group's known risk. 

We never hear any other side of this argument, it’s censored from us and never presented to us. 

Many of these VAERS reports were from assisted living facilities, and we can determine this by scrolling through the log of reports. Do you trust many assisted living facilities, or do you think many of them had a choice?

As of June 18, VAERS reports for myocarditis or pericarditis in people age 6 to 29 for all non-COVID shots in the entire history as VAERS as: 394. The total number of VAERS reports for myocarditis or pericarditis in people ages 6 to 29 in the last six months for COVID shots: 590. 

Without voluntary informed consent, medicine becomes violence. 

How many billions of dollars do you think has been handed out to mainstream media outlets, such as your favorite radio stations, to propagate the COVID vaccine and to have your favorite channel’s or station’s host, or celebrity, holler into your car or household: to go out and get it now, because all the cool people are doing it; to save our communities. Because you’re a selfish expanse of existence if you don’t. Although they who preach to go get the intervention likely have little to no experience in any of the information I have provided thus far.

The Dayton RTA public transit system has banners plastered onto the sides of their buses in all caps that say, “I’m not afraid of the vaccine!” or “Help Save Lives. Get Vaccinated.” 

When their passengers board the bus, they may show their hand gesture of the peace sign, to indicate they’ve been vaccinated. And at that, you’ll get a thirty-dollar credit in adult passenger fare upon proof of being fully vaccinated. A whole month of free rides and a promotional “Vaccinated” button to wear.

Promotions for vaccinated people are a flawed tactic for both brand-building and public health. Brands across industries are skipping beyond vaccine education and awareness to take a more active role in coronavirus vaccine acceleration. 

One size does not fit all. All humans are not the same and have different risk factors for both the disease and the intervention. There is no greater danger to all of us than the dehumanization of others. Not trusting a vaccine, or any given doctor for that matter, does not make me a science denier.

Where there is risk there must be choice. Not ostracism. Vaccine choice and anti-discrimination.

People who are labeled as vaccine hesitant should really be called people who are hesitant to be coerced in the largest drug trial in history. Because it’s the right thing to do... It’s patriotic... to protect our community and, again, “although I am young and healthy, it’s the right thing to do” (Ohio Dept. of Health).

Mandate advocates often assert a need for a 95% immunization rate to achieve herd immunity. However, Mary Holland and Chase Zachary of NYU School of Law argue, in the Oregon Law Review, that because complete herd immunity and measles eradication are unachievable, the better goal is for herd effect and disease control. The best outcome would result, they argue, from informed consent, more open communication, and market-based approaches.

The safest place for an immunocompromised person who is unable to be vaccinated  (there are very few unable to be vaccinated for COVID) is around someone who has had COVID naturally and is actually immune. Vaccinated people still contract and likely transmit COVID unlike the naturally immune. Similar to the pertussis portion of the DTAP vaccine, most often it’s a vaccinated sibling or parent who unknowingly spreads it to an infant too young to be vaccinated.

Let’s think about our Governor DeWine’s Vax-a-Million. His raffle is a disturbing act of child coercion and misuse of money that we could be putting back into our communities. A predatory bribe to bait those who easily succumb to a gambling incentive. I wish we had this kind of monetary dedication to our homeless, to our schools, to our mental health hospitals, to our trash clean-up organizations for our cities, to students already accepted into colleges. To the small businesses who have had to close their doors for good. What are my incentives for not getting the shot? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Public health should not seek to manipulate. To manipulate in the name of public health is to undermine public health.

This is a marketing scheme. You are not required to take a liability free experimental medical intervention in order to be considered a good person. Those who say you are, are either indoctrinated into a cult-like way of thinking and lack the ability to see anything beyond that, uninformed, or evil.

It's one of many elite U.S. institutions to be completely decimated and humiliated by Pharma. It was gradual, then inexorable, and now it's their identity.

An article printed on May 31 states that a Miami Valley Hospital doctor says strokes are occurring in younger people, ages 18-45 years old. Dr. Bryan Ludwig, the chair of the Clinical Neuroscience Institute of Premier Health, is seeing this increase, including the 36-year-old stroke patient he treated upon being air-lifted to the main hospital campus (WHIO). This article does not yet state what leading causes we can look toward for the increase in strokes and clots in the youth, and does not even state a possibility of what it might be, though I’m sure we can make quite a valid assumption. It would seem that the press is trying to normalize things that are not in the least bit normal, as more articles arise in similarity. 

Was it responsible for our Governor Mike DeWine to send out the tweet: “FACT: The COVID vaccine is safe and effective” upon immediate availability of the vaccine?

It is incredible that vaccine reactions used to only exist in the minds of conspirators, and now we pray for the recipients that they may make it through and only have to miss a few days of work. We don’t know anything about long-term effects but that doesn’t matter, because what about long-term effects from the actual disease? Everyone needs to do it anyway, even those at very little risk, because someone said so. Even those who have had COVID, and likely hold a great deal of immunity. 

Those who came out in droves in opposition of HB248 stated things such as, “up to 30% of our college students are immunocompromised, and this justifies mandating those who aren’t to be vaccinated.”

What are we doing that is causing up to 30% of young college students to be immunocompromised? 

Nonetheless, I find that statistic entirely skeptical. The industry recommends for all who they call immunocompromised, such as cancer patients to get these vaccines, and patients on immune suppressive drugs to get them. They want transplant patients to get them. They don’t actually acknowledge any contradictions outside of anaphylaxis. The “we must protect the herd” sentiment seems entirely feigned and disingenuous. It seems manipulative, dismissive.

Surely, there are immunocompromised people out there who are unable to receive the vaccine or others, but I do think it is rare.

A doctor who believe that everyone should be vaccinated, when questioned, acknowledged vaccine injury and death. She was asked what she would say to those people. Her response, in paraphrase, was, “Thank you for your contribution.” She views the injured as expendable.

The amount of doctors who opposed the house bill of vaccine choice was frightening. And who will politicians follow? Those who have personal attestations who are most oftentimes unheard or underrepresented, or clinicians pushing a pharmaceutical curriculum that acquires compensation based on how many patients are vaccinated?

In a statement made by ACIP member, Grace M. Lee, M.D., M.P.H., associate chief medical officer for practice innovation at Stanford Children’s Health, she goes on to say: “I think the childhood experience our kids have gone through will have long-lasting consequences that may extend across generations. We don’t really fully yet understand the total... physical health, mental health, and educational impact of the pandemic on our kids.”

Kids are durable. They can endure the worst of things, and they persevere. However, now, to grow up in a world that is censoring and erasing valuable information is chillingly monumental.

Considering that 23 million Americans suffer from some type of autoimmune disease, with the rates increasing 4-7% each year, and that environmental toxins are well known to trigger autoimmunity, it would seem prudent to implicate the distended childhood vaccination schedule as a possible culprit to this rise.

We are not smarter or more virtuous than someone because we draw a different conclusion after looking at the same information. Only one side of this charade wants to enforce their will on the other.

In summary, patients and parents currently have the right to refuse vaccination, although potentially contagious persons can be restricted in their movements (e.g. as with Ebola), as needed to protect others against a clear and present danger. Unvaccinated persons with no exposure to a disease and no evidence of a disease are not a clear or present danger. Making the COVID, and other vaccines, optional is the only way to protect the medical and individual rights of our citizens, consistent with good medical ethics.

Unvaccinated people are variant factories, says expert Dr. William Schaffner, from the Division of Infectious Diseases at Vanderbilt University Medical Center on June 2.

My use of Uncertainty Reduction Theory in Communication Studies applied to my stance I’ve taken on medical freedom enables me to seek and find reassurance with others, to find camaraderie with those who will continue to fight. 

The way that I have questioned the pharmaceutical intervention so many times in so many ways throughout this discussion and at the very least find the timeline of events that have transpired to be odd, and furthermore advocate for the freedom of guilt-free choice instead of a blind acceptance to take whatever is fed to me via our government oversight, it may very well blacklist me from an exceeding amount of peoples’ interest.

BUT, no matter what one may think, or if one should ask me why I don’t find something better to do with my time -

What is more important than protecting my children’s freedom and health through social and ethical communication processes?

Works Cited:

Berger, C.R., & Bradac, J.J. (1982). Language and social knowledge: Uncertainty in interpersonal relations. London: Arnold.

Clanton, Nancy. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. 16 April 2021. www.ajc.com

Holland, Mary and Zachary, Chase. Oregon Law Review. Children’s Health Defense Team. 23 January 2019. www.childrenshealthdefense.org 

Lavin, Dr. Arthur A. “The End of the Pandemic Begins, for the Vaccinated.” 14 May 2021. www.advancedped.com 

Lazarus, R, Klompas M, Hou X, Campion FX, Dunn J, Platt R. Automated Electronic Detection & Reporting of Adverse Events Following Vaccination: ESP:VAERS. The CDC Vaccine Safety Datalink (VSD) Annual Meeting. Atlanta, GA; April, 2008. www.digital.ahrq.gov 

Shimabukuro, Tom T. MD., Cole, Matthew MPH, Su, John R. MD, PhD. JAMA. 12 February 2021. www.jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2776557 

LegiScan Bringing People to the Process. www.legiscan.com 2021. 

National Vaccine Information Center. 2021. 21525 Ridgetop Circle, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20166. 

www.medalerts.org/vaersdb/findfield.php?TABLE=ON&GROUP1=AGE&EVENTS=ON&VAX=COVID19

WHIO Staff. “Miami Valley doctor says strokes are increasing in younger people, shares warning signs.” 31 May 2021. www.whio.com/news/local 

[chicagocityofclans]

Ethan Cleirigh → Jay Ryan → Warlock

→ Basic Information 

Age: 763

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight 

Powers: Panmnesia 

Birthday: October 19th

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: Buddhist

Mark: Cleirigh 

Generation: 2nd

→ His Personality Ethan is somewhat of a loner and often keeps to himself. He is both intelligent and resourceful. He’s also a very rational individual, constantly analysing risks and the best course forward. After WWII, he withdrew into himself, becoming isolated from the world around him and self-loathing. He’s trying to be caring and compassionate to those in his life as he ages. He doesn't want to be his father's age and completely hate life or humans. His plans are always definite the moment he makes them until something makes him change them, and he frequently operates based on pictures of what he thinks ought to be. 

When Ethan uses his power of Panmnesia, his darker PTSD side is more prominent, he is emotionally detached, even from those he is close to. His violent instincts are more discernible and make him more dangerous. With Panmnesia, Ethan can never forget and it plays a large role in who he is. He's often caught staring off in space; he remembers every heart ache as if it were seconds ago: every accident, every book and movie, everytime he walked in on a family member naked or in a compromised position. It drives his anxiety through the roof. All in all, he is still fighting for those who cannot and showing compassion, Ethan embodies intensity and warmth. 

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Retired

Scars: A scar on the right side of his face, from his eye to his jawbone

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Bodybuilding and Traditions 

Two Dislikes: Avocados and Adulterers 

Two Fears: Never Finding Love and Doppelgangers 

Two Hobbies: Junk Food and People Watching 

Three Positive Traits: Survivor, Hardworking, Elegant 

Three Negative Traits: Brooding, Antisocial, Impartial  

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Ronan Cleirigh (Father): Ethan and Ronan have a regular father son bond. Ethan looks up to the side of his father most people do not get to see. 

Willow Radium (Mother): Ethan doesn’t know or care about his birth mother.

Ishtar Cleirigh (Step Mother): Isa has been in his life since Ethan was 2 years old. She is his mother by all means. She helped raise him alongside his father.

Sibling Names:

Nathan Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan is sure Nathan is the way he is because of his mother and his inactive powers. When they were younger they were insparetable but as they grew Nathan turned away from their culture. Ethan believes Nathan wants to be human and thinks he’s better than the rest of them. Ethan is still on friendly terms with Nathan but it’s only because they’re brothers.

Judson Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan and Judson have a close relationship. His brother joined him on the battlefield more than once as a medic. Instead of learning from Ronan, Kaylor, Garrett or Roman, Ethan trusts Judson to teach him about potions.

Teyla Cleirigh (Sister): Ethan tries not to think of his parents conceiving Teyla or Altair but it still weird him out that he has siblings that are over 700 years younger than him. He is happy that he has an active role in her life.

Altair Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan tries not to think of his parents conceiving Teyla or Altair but it still weird him out that he has siblings that are over 700 years younger than him. He is happy that he has an active role in his life.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Talia Cleirigh (Girlfriend): Ethan never thought he would commit but Talia is different and understands him. At first he did not trust her but she slowly gained his trust and his love. 

Platonic Connections:

Roman Cleirigh (Uncle): Ronan forced him to move in with Roman and Talia after a few night terrors and PTSD moments. He was always closest to Roman but living with him has expanded their relationship. Ethan can now go as far as calling Roman his favorite Uncle. 

Brighton ‘Bee’ Genesis (Uncle): Bee is Ethan’s uncle by marriage. Just like Judson, Uncle Bee joined him multiple times on the battlefields. Unlike his other Uncle Garrett and Aunt Kaylor, Ethan doesn’t mind having Bee around him.

Jin Asato (Friend): Jin, Asa and Ethan met at a Veterans ‘Outreach Program’. They were the only supernatural in the room and quickly bonded. Jin is one of the only people Ethan talks to outside of his family.

Asa Fields (Friend): Jin, Asa and Ethan met at a Veterans ‘Outreach Program’. They were the only supernatural in the room and quickly bonded. Asa is one of the only people Ethan talks to outside of his family.

Chiara Ricci (Friend): Ethan was romantically interested in Chiara for three seconds before she spoke. She reminded him of the tough female soldiers he had worked with before and they quickly became friends. 

Hostile Connections:

Lawrence Cocci (Dislike): Lawrence threw a fireball at Ethan once. He claimed it was a mistake but the act alone was inexcusable. 

Pets:

None

→ History Ethan was left as a baby on his father’s, Ronan, front porch just outside of what is now Sibiu, Romania. His mother, Willow, left him there having no idea that his father had abandoned the home and started down towards Greece. Ronan hadn’t deactivated his wards and was surprised to feel someone poking around his land. Ronan almost didn’t check because whoever or whatever it was quickly left but curiosity got the best of him. That’s when Ethan’s life really began. He started walking before he could crawl, no one around him crawled and he only mimicked what he saw. His first words were ‘Dada’ followed quickly by ‘damned humans’ and ‘sard! you change his nappies’. Ronan quickly narrowed Ethan's powers down to Panmnesia or Mnemokinesis and lectured him about swearing in public and in front of his aunt, Kaylor. 

When Ethan first saw Ishtar, she shined brightly like an angel, and appeared out of nowhere. He learned that she was manipulating time and showed up right in the place he was looking. His two year old eyes couldn’t comprehend that it was just light bending and refracting around her body as she suddenly appeared. Ishtar became one of his favorite people that day. Ethan often found himself bored or learning about things that were way above his age, with panmnesia he could never forget what he read, he read faster than everyone else, he only needed to see something once and could easily repeat it. He excelled quickly with his powers, potions, charms, wards, spells and more. By the time Ethan reached his mid-200’s he was bored with life in general. That's when Ethan joined his first battle, the First Battle of St Albans and later on joined the war efforts of the Welsh Revolt. Ethan finally found something that kept his interest but also him on his toes. 

Ethan had fought in many European individual battles but only two full wars; the Welsh Revolt and the First Italian War. It wasn’t until the Revolutionary War that Ethan stopped teleporting to Europe. He fought on both sides in the War of 1812, Mexican - American War, American Civil War and Spanish-American War. For World War I and World War II, Ethan chose a side and stuck to it. After returning from the Gulf War, Ethan became overwhelmed with the fast pace changes around him and rethinking his positions in the military. However, since then he has had multiple deployments overseas; frequenting Afghanistan, Iraq and Kuwait. Ethan had never joined for what he believed in or what he thought was right but only to help him pass time. When he wasn’t at war he was brushing up on new novels, discoveries and his magic. Ethan was always keeping busy and never noticed that he was developing a severe case of PTSD. 

→ The Present Ethan was skeptical when his father kicked him out and forced him to consider staying with his uncle and his dream manipulator. He hated not being in his old room and sharing his space with Talia. But she never gave up and was constantly hounding him to let her help him. One day he listened to what she had to say as they shopped together for a Halloween mask for a masquerade ball thrown by Jia. His interest in her peaked and his hostility dampened. While it took almost a year for him to get to know her and fully trust her, Ethan is glad they're giving each other a try and finally making their relationship official. 

Ethan has been retired for two weeks from the US Army Reserve. His family had a ‘small’ party for him last week but besides that Ethan has yet to leave the house again. He’s unsure what to do with himself or with his time. Usually between reenlisting, he would read, train his magic and learn new findings within their community, but every book he’s tried this decade has been trash. Ethan is sure that this time he will not be reenlisting in the future. He’s tried multiple times to go into a deep sleep for a few days or longer but he finds himself waking up fully rested after 8 or 12 hours of sleep. Between Talia, Roman, Ishtar, Ronan, Judson, Bee, Asa and Jin, Ethan is finally convinced he needs a hobby or job; the sooner the better.