#thinking about how little i was able to sleep (almost always restless before some event i am excited and/or nervous about)

[mitamicah]

It is 4.50 am, I have been up for almost an hour. In about an hour we will travel to the airport - so excited 🤩

(Also sorry-not sorry for the gif xD)

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Do-Over-December 17th. Choking. "Stay." Vincent Sinclair X GN! AFAB! Reader.

Hey, hey, hey! Another day, another fic! I hope you like this one, it's one of my faves from this event, I did some good changes and hope it hits with you all. On we go re-doing Kinky December.

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 1.2K (Old Length. 1.1K.) Warnings. Slight Dub-Con. Restraints. Masturbation. Teasing. Voyeurism. Jealousy. Manhandling. Cunnilingus. Choking. Rough Sex. Vaginal Sex. Possessive Behaviour. Dirty Signing. 

—

It hadn’t always been this way, you had more freedom before, but after a particular incident with some people visiting Ambrose, that had swiftly ended. A new group of people rolled through, and they tried to take you with them. You were supposed to hide when anyone other than Vincent, Lester and Bo were in town, but you stumbled into the group by mistake. You tried to fight, tried to tell them you were fine, they weren’t having it, a strong hand around your wrist, pulling you along as it was insisted that you must get out. It did not end well for them. 

He deemed it better if he could keep you in his sights, he wanted you close enough to always be able to see you and know exactly where you were at all times, and it wasn’t like you could say no or stop him.

That is how the vast majority of most of your days were now spent, on his bed in his workshop. Laying or sitting there as he worked, sometimes you watched him or read books he would bring you or sleep or not much of anything in particular. 

Today you were feeling restless and bored. You watched him on and off as he worked, making himself busy with more sculpture work. You allowed your mind to wander as you watched how he worked with his hands. Thoughts about what those hands were capable of, and what they had done to you, recalling memories of his bruising grip and how easily he could crush you if he really wanted to. 

You decided you had enough of being alone on the bed, you figured out exactly how today could better be spent. You adjusted, your legs were strapped down to the bed still, restraints on your ankles, legs spread, able to use your hands, your wrists free as they were usually unless you had done something bad enough that he saw fit to restrain them too. Deciding to take it slowly, your hand on your inner thigh and sliding up, slowly, you kept your eyes on him, he was still very preoccupied. Your fingers found the edge of your panties, and you started in nice and easy, it felt good, sliding over yourself, you had the thought wondering when the last time you had done this to yourself. Seemed like you never got the chance to, you had kind of missed it, you got into it much quicker than you had expected to initially. 

You could feel the fabric getting damp under your touch, fingers increasing pressure as you rolled them over your clit, the familiar feeling of easy pleasure warm and low inside of you. Up and down, wetness starting to coat your fingers, dragging them up and rubbing over yourself, you let yourself start to vocalize how good it felt, not loud but not doing much of anything to quiet yourself either. It felt surprisingly good, but not nearly enough, you were hoping to entice him soon.

You needed more. You needed him. It wasn’t long until he noticed. He had his back to the mattress where you were, his hands slowed, and he turned, it seems that he had finally heard you and was now watching you. 

A hard swallow when you noticed his gaze on you as you were continuing to touch yourself, a little more tentative for a moment before growing more bold. 

First thing you said in hours, mouth dry and voice a little rough as you uttered his name, “Vincent.”

You touched yourself harder, writhing against the sheets, he turned back around, and you were sad for a moment, thinking you had failed, but then he got up. Hands on the workbench as he did, chair almost falling over, he turned back to you. He continued to watch you, leaning against the bench for a moment, you kept going, your eyes must have been pleading by this point. Finally, he seemed to sigh and reach up, he removed his mask and set it aside, he seemed to search the table for a moment and quickly found what he was looking for. You watched as he started to come over to you, heavy footsteps as he gathered his hair and put it up, and that made your heart nearly stop. 

You spoke again, softer, questioning, “Vinny?”

What did he have in mind that he needed his hair up in a bun like that, out of his way? He fell to his knees at the end of the mattress, and he grabbed your ankles and yanked you down, you yelped, knees bent, and he had pulled you much closer to him. He reached up and ripped the thin and soaked fabric from your aching core easily, tearing it quickly and tossing it aside. His arms locked around your thighs and his mouth was on you, you groaned, it felt good, but he was being so rough. It was intense, boarding on painful, this wasn’t about pleasing you, this was about getting you ready, you were simply along for the ride, you had to endure it. 

Crying out, your back arching and your eyes shut tightly, “Vin! Fuc-”

You managed to adjust, breathing becoming ragged as he worked you over, you actually might cum from this if he kept it up. You tensed and were tempted to reach down and bury your fingers in his hair, but you resisted the urge and moaned for him instead. Your fingers in the sheets, and you could feel that pleasure building, and all too suddenly it stopped. 

Before you could even think to move or question it he was on top of you, his hand on your throat, it made you gasp, eyes flying open, looking up at him. He had one hand on your throat, his other one pulling himself free of his clothes. He was on top of you, weight heavy as he lined up and sunk inside of you in one long stroke making you gasp, even with the prep it was so much to take, stretching you quickly. 

His other hand free now that he grabbed and had both of your wrists in his grip and pinned above your head easily. You struggled, and his hand tightened on your throat, a warning to not put up too much fight, that look, fuck he seemed less than pleased. Then you remembered, part of why you didn’t touch yourself often, he didn’t like it. He wanted to be the only one touching you like this, he is possessive over every fucking part of you, wanted to be the only one making you feel like that. 

His grip tightened on your throat further, and it made you clench down on him, he pulled out halfway and his hips snapped forward, hard, and it made you moan out his name. He took you just like that, rushed, gripping your wrists so tightly as he fucked into you, choking you firmly, looking down at you, your body jerking with the force of his thrusts. You were a mess under him, moans and gasps, almost sobbing in pleasure, all much more strained as you struggled to breath, thighs on either side of his hips.

His hand slipped down from your wrists, down your chest, and you feel his hand push your shirt up, his hips slow, and you feel his fingers tracing a familiar pattern into your skin, one you’d come to know intimately. With one hand still locked on your throat, burying his thick cock in you over and over, writing one word into your sweat slick flesh over and over again that one word that was punctuating each drawn out thrust, was of course, “Mine.”

[slimubunu]

Acting at Full Bloom [Oberon x Reader]

Word Count: 2,618

Warning(s): None, mild spoilers however

     After days of nonstop travelling, your arrival to Oberon's domain was finally realized. Despite the failed rescue attempt of finding Mash and a close call with Tam Lin Tristan, your spirit was somewhat exhausted. Your group was able to revitalize themselves with the comfort of the forest along with its citizens being peaceful pixies and insects who show nothing but gratitude! Truly a nicer change of scene in comparison to past events. Despite the fun atmosphere, the weight of your duty was heavy on your mind. As night faded in, you found yourself restless. A walk wouldn't hurt. Anything to tire you out. You slowly crawl out of your tent, taking care not to make noise as the others replenish their mana. As you wander a random path within the woods, you can't help but admire how the leaves illuminate with the faint blue hues of the moonlight. Every shining outlet among the branches faintly pierced through, accompanied by the occasional fireflies lighting the environment.

     Wandering aimlessly, you eventually stop in your tracks at the sight of a familiar figure. Even though you weren't exactly sneaking around, you couldn't help but hide regardless as to not be a burden. You sidle against a tree to peek out, taking in the sight of Oberon in his "intel-gathering" garb as he converses with Blanca. Despite what he considered "plain", his outfit somehow maintained elegance nonetheless, likely due to him still being a King to some regard. At first it seemed he didn't notice the noise you made during your walk but occasionally his eyes would glance towards where you are. Preventing any further encounter, you turn away and attempt to leave before-

     "MASTER!! What are you doing up?"

     You jump back with a squeal at his sudden appearance in front of you. He chuckles at your reaction. "Hah! My apologies, I just couldn't help myself. What brings you to wandering around though, can't sleep?" It was hard to lie as his expression contorts into concern. "Can't sleep, sorry. I was hoping I could tire myself out with a walk." Oberon nods in acknowledgement. "I see. It must be tough having such a weight on your shoulders. As I said before, you don't have to carry that burden alone." He thinks to himself on what he could do. It would be more ideal to have you rest as soon as your worries are over, but lately you two have yet to really interact with each other. In his mind, why not enjoy the now and think about the inevitable later? "I know, how about I perform for you?" Your eyes seemed to shine at that proposal. So that's what interests you? He thought. "I was always curious on how you accumulated such a reputation so.. I'd love to see you." His pale blue eyes widen a little bit, whether it was how genuine you sounded or how your sentence came off a different way. "O-oh wait! I mean, yes- Seeing you is fun! I also.. mean to... see you perform! Yeah, I'd like that!" Nice job fumbling, Master of Chaldea.

     Wasting no more time, Oberon grabs your hand and leads you through the woods. He is absolutely facing the front as to make sure the path for you is clear, though it also successfully hides his face. Brushing away bushes with ease, you both make it to a small clearing where a rather flat stump is present among the leaves. The moon shined radiantly above the both of you within the clearing, making the area much more visible. Oberon leads you to the stump and gently eases you onto it before backing away. Almost like a theater, a few of the fireflies and crickets gathered around for the spectacle. "Alright, alright, settle down everyone. I won't be doing this for too long so let's make the most of it." With the snap of his fingers, his outfit switched to his initial royal garb. You let yourself clap as in comparison to the rest of the audience, you're the only one capable of doing so. "Thank you, you're too kind. I must ask, however, if the fine Master here has any requests for this show?" He approaches you with swagger before reaching for your hand, bringing it up close to his lips and kisses the knuckles- his gaze into your eyes unbreaking.

     Pondering, you tried to think of what you could subject Oberon to. For the sake of the limited time you both have, you latched onto one thing that piqued your curiosity for some time. "You mentioned entertaining housewives before finding us. How did that go?" You swear you almost heard an oooh whilst the chatter of the insects, but felt confident in your choice nonetheless. "We're really going with that, are we not? Very well!" Dramatically, perhaps even with a pout if it's an embarrassing trial he went through before, he waves his blue cape upwards as he walks away. "Consider your request granted for I am a gracious King, Master!" You clap once more before he points a finger out at you- "-Ah! I will require your participation in this performance, however! Don't worry, it won't be anything strenuous, I'd hate to make you work more than you should." In response, you nod. Oberon stands tall , fluttering his wings as he imitates himself dancing down a street!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

     "There I was at Salisbury, after a successful night of singing in an imitation of a pub! A seemingly lone housewife approaches me. She pleas rather gleefully..." He looks over to you- your cue! The opening sentence alludes to you asking for his company. Trying to match his boisterous mannerisms, you say," Oh lovely Fae King Oberon! May I have the honor of asking you to accompany me tonight? I would love to hear more of your tales, coin for your time of course!" He seemed satisfied with your performance, continuing forth. "Why yes, my fae-r maiden. So long as your husband won't be present and threaten my life I would love to temporarily occupy a space within your home this evening!" Oberon speaks of the idle conversations he had with the housewife- speaking of how her husband is a free human and how lucky she is to have him, but misses the embrace of a fae. Oberon also speaks of honesty within their interactions, how he had to tolerate the fae maiden wrapping her arm around his as they approached her home along with "her advances to anything even remotely related to coitus had to be shot down with grace- for I cannot sully myself with others when Titania eventually comes into my life." It was endearing the way he said that, it almost made your chest squeeze unknowingly.

     Looking over at you once more, you begin," We have arrived, my dearest! Please, make yourself at home. I shall prepare some tea while you share your tales, I insist." The fae nods as he follows your words. "To avoid truly bedding with this faerie, I proceeded to relay a long legend of a human man who had to roll a rock uphill, but the rock had a curse that made it roll back down to the bottom so the man had to bite his tongue and attempt his fruitless task once more. To my luck, she has found this legend very entertaining that he hollered with laughter!" Going along with his signal you laugh, though some of it was genuine as Oberon being subject to the dangerous whims of his job was entertainment in itself. Knowing how the Fae look down on man, you continue your imitation of the woman. "Oh how dreadful this human sounds! Why would he roll the rock uphill! You'd think after the first attempt he'd give up, but such stubbornness is so futile it is humiliating!!" Oberon nods in agreement as he presses on. "Thinking how much more I could distract this woman before her husband gets home, she serves me the tea she has brewed." He moves on to how he had to sing for her and relay more tales before the maiden started to be more bold with her advances. "Almost as if she knew what I was doing, she made her intentions much more known. I had to play along as much as I could, as closely as I could, but I knew the finish line was at arm's reach."

     Oberon places a hand on his chin, genuinely thinking to himself before sighing. "She showers me with compliments before taking a confident stride towards me." Looking over, you felt compelled to do the same but rather hesitantly. Acting as someone else for Oberon was fine, surely, but directly to him in such a manner? That task felt much harder. "Dearest Fae King Oberon, my wonderous missionary of peace, flowers and fairy tales. The way you hold yourself up would make anyone fall for you l-like I have. The.. the way your hair is soft to the touch, how your presence is a fresh breath of the morning dew, oh how you look at me with your wonderful sky blue eyes. I cannot help myself in your presence but sometimes even I must hold myself back. I find myself lost without your presence, without your pixie dust to light my path. Even at times of loneliness and hardship, I find comfort and perhaps even waiting for you to embrace me with your existence once more that I have a reason.. to keep going..." You were rambling on after the first few stumbles but speaking from the heart worked out at some aspect! Maybe a bit too well, Oberon seemed stunned at your performance with a hint of blush on his cheeks? Time to drive it home. "Err...Won't you sing to me within my bed chambers, my King?" You reach your hand out to him.

     In quick motion, Oberon grabs your hand and pulls you towards him- his face only inches away from yours. Your outstretched arm was placed over his shoulder as you two were hand-in-hand, his other hand holding you close to him by the waist. It was hard to look at anything but him since he was so close!! His expression was difficult to read but you make out... admiration? Desire? It was hard to tell under the moonlight and impending exhaustion. "My lost love, the one destined to rule by my side, where have you been all my life? You deserve nothing but the best, and as your loving King, I must consummate our relationship if you will have me..." Slowly, he leans in- making your thoughts immediately scramble for an explanation! What am I to do? I don't think this is part of the script! This is acting, actors kiss plenty of times? BUT HOW CAN YOU KISS HIM!? Oberon is practically a married man in AND out of the play! I can't do this.. can I? You prayed your aggressive heartbeats weren't felt against the fairy servant. Closing your eyes, you freeze and allow fate to decide. One... two... five seconds.... You feel a gentle blow of wind on your lips before being lifted back up to stand straight again.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

     With hands on his hips, Oberon looks at you with an almost eerily cheerful expression," Luckily, the husband has finally come home! Unfortunately, the husband has come home. He has caught the maiden and I in a compromising position that I almost immediately dropped her on the floor! ...I mean I still did. The husband berated me before throwing random objects at me until I was out of their home, though coincidentally one of the items happened to be a hefty sack of Morpounds so my efforts weren't fruitless at least." You sit back on your stump, slightly stunned at what previously happened. You were happy you didn't get to kiss, but can't help but feel an ache of want. Shaking off the shock, you clap your hands along with the happy buzzing and trilling of the insects. "Bravo, Oberon! That performance was amazing! I loved every second of it!" With a bow, he dismisses the insects to go off in order to have you two truly alone once more. "Much appreciated, my fair Master. I must say, your improvisation and acting was a spectacle in its own right too- playing along was fun!" Oberon holds both of your hands before he pauses. He looks down with a smile as his thumbs ever so softly rub the top of your hands. It was an awkward silence as he is lost in thought, but it was also a comforting presence. He seemed as though he wanted to say something more but the words won't leave his mouth.

     Eventually, you couldn't stop a yawn from escaping your lips. "Oh dear, I must have kept you up a little too long. Allow me to guide you back, (Y/N)." Odd how he addresses you by your name, though it felt almost as if you two have already grown so close. Delusional it may seem, you consider it as a sign of improvement between your relationship as Master-Servant as well as exhaustion. Oberon holds your hand once more, albeit noticeably firmer. Within you, you almost wish this night could last forever, maybe even in your dream. In no clear rush, Oberon stayed silent during the walk back but would make glances back at you. At this speed, there was no need to check whether you are fine or not, but it was reassuring either way. You two soon make it back to the main site where everyone was still resting soundly. "Alright, have a good rest, (Y/N). I'll be back tomorrow night, I don't want to be left out of dinner fun, after all." Before he lets go of you, you stop him. "Wait, Oberon." He looks back at you. "Thank you, I had a great time tonight, really." There was so much more, but Oberon was a busy Fae, after all. The hand that held yours tightened ever so slightly before being let go. Blanca crawls from his back to his shoulder, antennas twitching. "A-ah, it's time for me to go, sorry Blanca. I had a lovely time as well, Master. Let's do this again some time... though when we aren't on a time crunch and nearly fatigued!" He laughs it off before waving his farewells to you. In a flash, his outfit was back to his traveling garb as his body disappeared back into the thick darkness of the woods seamlessly.

     Your aforementioned fatigue was creeping in much harder as you crawled back into your tent. You were happy with the performance, you replayed it in your head over and over again until you recalled how Oberon looked at you. After that, the void swallowed you whole. Despite it all being pretend, you couldn't help but want. How lucky, you thought, it must be to be Titania. She truly is lucky to have someone like Oberon, huh...

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

˙ǝɹoɯ ǝɔuo ǝlqᴉssodɯᴉ ǝɥʇ ǝɹᴉsǝp oʇ sǝɹɐp ǝɥ ʍoɥ puɐ 'ǝɹɐ noʎ lɐǝɹ ʍoɥ ɹoɟ noʎ sǝʌol ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʇɐɥʇ -ǝlɐʇ sᴉɥ uᴉ pǝʇsᴉxǝ uosɹǝd ɐ sɐ puɐ ɹǝʇɔɐɹɐɥɔ ɐ sɐ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ sᴉ ʇᴉ lnɟuᴉɐd ʍoɥ 'ʎlʇsǝuoɥ ɥʇᴉʍ ɯᴉɥ pǝɔɐɹƃ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ sɐʍ ʇᴉ ƃuᴉʇsnƃsᴉp ʍoɥ 'llǝʍ os uǝpᴉɐɯ ǝɥʇ pǝʎɐld noʎ ʇɐɥʇ sᴉ ʇᴉ pᴉɹʇnd ʍoH ˙ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ llɐ ʞsᴉɹ ɐ sɐʍ ʇᴉ ʍǝuʞ ǝɥ ʇnq 'ǝɔɹɐɟ sᴉɥʇ ʇɐ uɹǝƃᴉʇɹoΛ ɹo ɯᴉɥ ɟo ǝpᴉs uoɹǝqO ǝɥʇ sᴉ ʇᴉ ɹǝɥʇǝɥʍ ǝɹns uǝʌǝ ʇ,usᴉ ǝɥ 'ʎlʇsǝuoH ˙uo ʇǝl uɐɔ ǝɥ uɐɥʇ ɹǝɥʇɹnɟ ʇᴉ ǝʇɐɹǝloʇ ʇou plnoɔ ǝɥ puɐ sᴉɥ sɐ llǝʍ sɐ sƃuᴉlǝǝɟ ɹnoʎ ɟo ʍǝuʞ ǝH ˙noʎ ɟo ʎɹɐʍ sɐʍ uoɹǝqO

[qyllenhaal]

Good Wives Club [2]

Lee Bodecker x Reader. 3rd POV. Word Count: 4.2k.

Spin-off to American Pie

Chapter One || Chapter Three

Summary: It's been more than a year since she's escaped the ghost of her past but life is never fair to a girl like her. Lee doesn't care that she has a husband, a nice house, and sugary fake friends, he wants what's rightfully his.

Warnings (series): Cheating, smut, violence, housewife kink, period-typical misogyny, age gap (about a ten year difference), manipulation, dark themes all around.

A/N: If anyone wants to be added to future tag list just let me know!

Y/n woke up at 5am with a dry mouth and her head spinning. Her night has been plagued with restlessness and she couldn't stay still. When she did fall asleep, it was for small periods of time. Each time she woke up she was not aware of where she was for the first five seconds, panic almost setting in before she registered the sound of her husband snoring.

The end of her irregular sleep cycle ended because she saw the hallway light was on. She sighed when realized it must be time for her husband to get ready for work. She virtually got no sleep and she'll probably be tired for the rest of the day.

She gets up from their creaky bed and starts walking down the hallway. It takes a while for her eyes to adjust to the brightness as she slowly plods down the hallway. She follows the light to the bathroom where she can hear her husband getting ready for work. On the days he goes in this early Y/n is relieved that she doesn't have to get up and cook breakfast for him.

The door is cracked but she opens it to find him inside. She situates herself in the doorway, watching him shave his face through the mirror.

"Good morning," he spoke with a scratchy voice. Even though Y/n didn't marry Llewellyn for love, she's still attracted to him and likes his company most of the time. She feels an ache inside of her that wants him to take her, but after running into Lee last night she's afraid she won't be able to get Lee's face out of her mind while beneath her husband.

"Good morning. Going in early?"

"Yep. Dad wants to do inventory today since he put it off last week."

"Oh okay," she accepts quietly, ready to leave her husband alone so he can get ready in peace.

However he asks her a surprising question, "hey, did you enjoy last night?"

"Uh, it was fine I guess. Did you?" Her hope is that he at least enjoyed himself somewhat.

"You know I don't like that super fancy stuff like that, but I have to eat crow; it wasn't all that bad and Bodecker's not as bad as I thought. He's kind of a funny guy. I still think he's not as hard on crime like everyone claims he is, but personally, he's not that bad. Florence was nice too. She invited us to dinner on Wednesday night, apparently that's the only night Lee has off. I told her we'd be able to join them."

The turn of events was shocking. Y/n couldn't believe her ears and she thought maybe she indeed was still asleep. Lou was not fond of many people and his only "friends" were his two brothers so him warming up to Lee and Florence left her speechless. So speechless that she didn't register the fact that he accepted a dinner invite for them.

"What?"

"What do you mean ‘what’? You dragged me to that dinner last night and wanted me to be nice, and now you're confused when I do just that?"

"I-I'm not confused...just shocked," she admits truthfully, "I can't believe you want to go to someone’s house who isn't your mother house for dinner —are you sure you want to go?"

"We're going Y/n."

His tone of voice indicates that the conversation is done and over with and the decision has been made. Y/n didn't even get to contest his decision but Lou can tell when Y/n is in a defiant mood. Her folding her arms and walking away was confirmation for him. She stalks her way back to the bedroom where she takes to hiding under the covers.

Lee and Lou under the same roof — it makes her stomach churn just to think about it. They're wildly different from each other but the thing she hates about them is what they have in common.

All she can hope is that this nightmare ends and she wakes back up to a life without Lee's ghost lingering around.

-

She decided to go with a floral dress again. She really wanted to take out the checkerboard dress that made her legs look good and showed off her arms, but Lou would have made her change before she had the chance to step out of the house. The floral print is dizzying, but it's the kind of dress that Lou likes to see her wear.

It's just a small dinner at the Bodecker's house but Y/n opts for kitten heels instead of sensible flats. She feels obligated to look her best despite there being less people to dress for. She's never been alone with Florence save for that day at the grocery store. Florence is always dressed to the 10's and Y/n needs to look just as good, if not better. She claims to hate Lee, but it would be so satisfying if she caught Lee ogling her breasts.

"Are you ready?"

Y/n thought Lou was too dressed up for a home dinner of four. He wore a pinstriped suit and those nice leather shoes he bought himself around the holidays.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she sighs in an attempt to let off some steam.

It was a shorter drive than Y/n expected. Florence hadn't disclosed where she lived before, but Brewer Heights wasn't that for them to live at a distance. The sun was nearly dipped over the horizon and the remaining light that hits their house makes it look like a model home. Everything little aspect and detail Y/n was going to compare herself too. She lives in a nice house, but Florence lives in a nicer house. It tears her up knowing she has the ultimate upper hand over Florence in the form of her own husband and she can't even act upon it. She would royally fuck up her life and their lives too if she decide to let her jealousy get the best of her.

As she walks up their stairs as another man's wife, she accepts that she is jealous. She's always been jealous of Florence even when she didn't know her name. What made her so worthy of all of these things? Lee used to act like he hates the woman so she must be a bitch behind closed doors. It wouldn't be surprising if she is because most people in this town will smile in your face and then gossip about you a minute later.

Lou knocks on the door and only a second later Florence is opening the door with a big smile on her face and Lee right next to her. He wore his police uniform without the jacket while Florence looked like a Lilly Pulitzer catalog girl.

It only took one millisecond of their eyes locking together for Y/n to feel the electricity between her and Lee. She drags her eyes away from his, but she can bet that he has a smirk on her face. He always liked to see her squirm; in a good and bad way.

"Y/n, Llewellyn! I'm so glad you could make it! Why don't you come on in," Florence steps to the side, nudging Lee over with her, to make way for Y/n and her husband.

Her eyes scan over every inch of their house. It's warm, cozy, and oddly comforting. Everything little thing was in its place; perfectly dusted and polished. Y/n is sure that Lee had no hand in decorating this place, it screams Florence through and through.

"Dinner is almost ready. I started the scalloped potatoes a little too late, but it should be done soon! Y/n, do you want to help me set the table?"

Y/n didn't want to leave her husband alone with Lee, but she also didn't want to be in the room with just them. She nods at Florence and follows behind her to their kitchen.

The house smells like Lou's parent's house on holidays. Y/n's stomach rumbles and she doesn't realize how hungry she was. She despises herself for wanting Florence's cooking, but she barely ate today because of how nervous she was.

"I already laid out the place mates, you can place the plates and silverware."

Y/n picks up the expensive dining ware that Florence points towards. She wonders if Florence cooks like this all the time, even when Lee works well into the night.

The walls of their dining room have an awful floral pattern. Y/n is beginning to become sick at the sight of anything that pertains to flowers. The cedar table is perfect for accommodating guests and Y/n wonders how many dinner parties they had in this room. Florence seems to put a lot of stock into being a good hostess. Y/n herself has yet to throw a dinner party at her home, but setting the plates on someone else's dining room table feels like practice. She silently imagines her house filled with Lou's family as she cooks dinner for them.

Florence enters the room and starts placing the dishes in the middle of the table. Her presence takes Y/n out of her fantasy, and when she sees how Florence made a 3-course-meal she feels worse.

"Does the food look good? I tried some new recipes from Julia Child's cookbook to try to impress you and Llewellyn," she admits, "I wasn't sure what you two would like, but Lee loves when I make those recipes from Julia Child and I bet Llewellyn would love it too! I could lend you the book some time!"

"Of course. I love her work!" Y/n lies straight through her teeth. She has no clue who the hell Julia Child is.

Florence grabs one last thing before calling the husbands into the dining room. She places one beer on the coasters designated for Lee and Lou. Lou has never been much of a drinker, but she knows that Lee can knock down a few beers in one sitting. He might be on his best behavior tonight in front of his wife and company.

"Dinner's ready!" Florence called out.

Y/n took her seat on the right side of the table and Florence sat opposite of her. Their husbands come walking in laughing as if they were young boys sneaking back into the house during a family get together. Y/n doesn't like it; she doesn't like it at all. They look too cheery with each other and she knows that Lee is doing it on purpose — she can see it in his eyes when he quickly glances at her. He takes pride in making her uncomfortable. Y/n wishes she had that same affect on him to scare him off a bit, but no matter how chummy she gets with Florence, Lee looks unbothered.

Florence stands up from her seat as if she's presenting the food on the table to an audience. Everything is placed perfectly with the main dish being the middle of the smaller plates.

"This looks great honey, you made a whole feast," Lee walked up to Florence's side and kissed on the cheek. Y/n's eyes are trained on his hand snaking around her waist and giving her a light squeeze before letting go. When she pulls her eyes away from his hands, she sees that Florence almost looks shocked at her husband's affection; Lee is definitely putting on a show for Y/n and it's a damn good one.

Lee sits opposite of Lou and the first thing he does is open his beer. The food isn't even on plates anymore and he's drinking.

"I hope you like Schmidt's, Llewellyn. Lee loves it so it's all we have in the house."

"I'm not one to drink beer often, but I'll try it. And call me Lou, Florence."

Lou was acting out of his normal character. Him only interacting with his family and Y/n left him a bit awkward in the presence of others, but around Florence and Lee he seems to be much...warmer. If Lee was someone else then Y/n would be over the moon, but because it's him she can't even force herself to even look happy about it.

Y/n takes note of how Florence places portions of food on Lee's plate. They were small portions too. She was always strict about what he ate and how much he drank. She's surprised Florence is letting him drink tonight, but she must be trying to look nicer in front of guests.

Y/n was not as controlling as Florence. She always let Lou fix his plate to his liking. She thought it made her a good wife for letting her husband make his own decisions. But Y/n felt a tap on her shoulder after she finished making her own plate. He looked down at his empty plate before looking back at her and nodded towards the food.

"Y/n," he tries to whisper but his tone is rather harsh.

"What?" She whispers back in true confusion.

"My plate."

He looked at her as if she was crazy, as if it was a common occurrence for her to fix his plate. She starts to scramble to save herself from further embarrassment, the sound of silverware against plates so loud. She can feel the stares coming from the other side of the table but she doesn't dare look up.

Her skin began to grow hot. Her husband had embarrassed her in front of Lee and Florence. The worst part was when Florence tried to change the subject to something lighthearted to pull the attention off of Y/n. She felt small and useless. Lou never expected her to fix his plate, but he looked at her as if she was crazy for not doing so. She didn't want to spend dinner almost in tears. This changed behavior in her husband is giving her whiplash and making her dizzy.

"So, Y/n, did you enjoy the other night?"

"It was really nice Florence," she replies sheepishly.

"Susie and I put so much work into planning it. You should join us next time! We're going to start working on the fundraising events for Lee's next campaign-"

"Let's not talk about that tonight Florence," Lee interrupts. It was a moment that would've left Y/n embarrassed if she was in Florence's shoes but Florence was much better at masking her emotions. Only for a split second can Y/n see Florence flinch at his interjection before she just smiles.

"Sorry Lee, you know how excited I get about those things," she masks her apology in a cheery voice.

Dinner basically became a probe of Y/n and Lou's relationship. Florence wanted to know how they met, when they got married, how long they had been together, and what their future plans together were. Y/n let Lou answer the last question by herself because she genuinely didn't know what their future plans were. Lou usually wakes up and decides what major life change they're going to undertake, that's what happened when he decided to move to Brewer Heights.

When the topic of work came up, Y/n thought the coast was clear. Lou talked extensively about the work he does with his father and what his plan is for the next five years regarding the business.

"Once my father retires I'll have to hire someone to do his job. I didn’t go study in school after high school so I can't take over his position, even though it would make things easier."

"I'm sure you can find someone. I know it's rare for someone to leave the city and come to this little town, but Brewer Heights is always a nice incentive!"

"It is nice here," Lou agrees, "and it's quiet. We were in Meade before which is okay-"

"But, it's nothing like Brewer Heights," Florence interjects. "So, Y/n, what did you do before meeting Lou?"

Lee had not looked her way since the plate-fixing incident but his eyes were sure on her now. If his mouth wasn't stuffed with food he'd be grinning from ear to ear waiting for her answer. He knows she's not a good liar, but she's going to have to come up with something.

"I helped my mom with her business. She used to sell fruit preserves out of the house before she passed."

It wasn't a complete lie. She did help her mother label her jars, but that became less frequent when her hours picked up at Tecumseh. Her parents didn't know about her job either; she told them she was a waitress and it was a safe lie seeing as they didn't go out to diners.

"I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sure she was a lovely woman if she raised such a lovely daughter! Have you ever thought of continuing her business?"

"Not really. It was pretty small. I still make the preserves sometimes for Lou and I."

"If you wouldn't mind, would you be interested in making some for us one day? You don't have to if you don't want to, but it's just so hard to find any good fruit preserves around town." Florence's social habits were very transparent once you were around her for long; she tends to make it impossible for people to say no to her by making them feel bad about even possibly saying no.

"I'd love to Florence. I have fresh peaches at home and I can make peach preserves."

"Oh I'd love that so much," she fawns, "a jar for me and a jar for Lee! He loves his sweets."

"I'm not too big on peaches, Flo. You know I like cherries more."

"You always have," she leans into him and pats him on the chest before straightening up again.

The audacity of Lee is astounding, however not only is he a cop, he's the sheriff. It's such a cowardly move to pick at Y/n when she can't react, but what someone would call cowardly, he'd call fun. She looks like she wants to disappear from her spot and it scratches an itch for him. He missed seeing her get flustered and if he'd known that it would be much more enjoyable to taunt her while his wife was around, he would have found a reason a long time ago to bring her around.

And as if the night couldn't be more humiliating for her, Lou finished his plate before anyone else. He devoured the food on his plate, like a starved man. Y/n felt embarrassed when her husband went for seconds. He never eats this much at home, even when she makes his favorite meals. It makes her want to reach across the dinner table and smack Florence in the face. She hates her; she hates that she has to smile in her face and be friends with her. It's her own fault for continuing this "friendship" with Florence, but her rage makes her blind to her own faults.

She could ruin Florence's life with one sentence: "I've been fucking your husband for years." She'd cause a scene but it would be so gratifying.

Instead she just shuts her mouth and lets dinner continue without anymore incidents.

-

Y/n thought it would show she was grateful for dinner if she helped Florence with the dishes. She was glad to accept Y/n's help and the two spent their time in the kitchen while Lee and Lou sat on the back porch. With Lee's influence, Lou took another drink out back with him. Y/n wondered what they had to talk about, but she would truly not like to know.

"Your wife cooks like that every night, sheriff?"

"Enough with the title. And she cooks every night, but she went a little overboard since she was happy with having guests," he tells him. If it was anybody else, Lee would just answer the questions and not have any for himself. However, he really wants to know what Y/n has been up to since she's adopted this new image. "How about Y/n? Does she cook for you like that?"

"Not at all. She tries, but she's not the good of a cook," he brings the alcohol up to his lips before pulling away and sighing, "she tries but it's just not her best."

"Her mother didn't teach her how to cook?"

"I don't know much about her family. Her mother was dead when I met her and her father doesn't seem to be doing so well. They're from the same area as my folks but moved when they had Y/n. Maybe she was just too spoiled considering she's an only child."

Y/n's past was a mystery to Lee too, but he's surprised to learn she hasn't opened up to her husband. All he knows is that whether it was her home life or not, something had messed her up and it was almost made worse by her time at Tecumseh. He isn't sure how she made it out, but so much of her old life still bleeds through.

"You know I thought I was getting a good girl. One that would clean and have dinner ready when I get home," Lou continued.

Lee wanted to laugh in his face. Lou is proof that you can come from a smart family and still be dumb as rocks. How could he not know what type of girl Y/n was when he first laid eyes on her? She'd dress just like his sister Sandy; shorts that suffered from mistreatment over the years and a sleeveless blouse that was always stained. He's sure her hair was mussed up that day too. Many people would mistake her for a whore (which many people did see her as one even though she didn't outright sell her body to anyone).

"It can't be that bad," Lee tried to vouch for his former lover. Even he can name some good qualities about her; they just don't include any wifely qualities.

"It's not, but things could be better. Anytime I tell her to shape-up she gets this timid look on her face and flinches a little bit. I try to be nice and gentle but I'm losing my patience with her. I’m not looking to leave her, but what’s the point of marrying a woman who can’t do anything? She won’t even talk to me about having kids — was Florence ever like this?”

“No. Her family is from here so she’s been primed to be a housewife. But I will say it’s not all that fun havin’ a doting wife…she’s overbearing at times and I can never unwind with her around. She’s always on my ass about somethin’.”

Lee felt the need to vouch for Y/n. Anytime he would go to Tecumseh, she would accompany out back or get into his cruiser whenever he told her to. All the gritty things he dealt with at work, everything he kept inside, he dumped it on her. Florence would never sit there to listen to his grievances. Lee would never admit it, but he was vulnerable around Y/n, he knew that she would always be there to listen and he attached himself to that. In the beginning she wasn’t willingly listening to his problems but by the end she was. She took care of him when he was too drunk to go home, or she would let him take his stress and frustration out on her body. However, it doesn’t seem as if Lou is budging; his mind is made up.

“I work long hours. My father is putting more responsibilities on me. I put Y/n in that nice home, the least she could do is not serve me burnt food. Hangin’ around Florence and that Susie woman should have at least influenced her or something,” he continued to complain.

Florence was the last person that would be able to influence a girl like Y/n. Lee didn't know why his wife was seemingly grooming that girl. If anything it was just another person for her to control since Lee started telling her to knock it off. The only time she can get away with controlling her husband is if they're in the company of others where Lee has to be on his best behavior.

Y/n is not the type to be influenced by another woman. The only woman she held in high regard was her mother. Y/n listens to male authority. She listens to a man that will rough her up a little bit but then be sweet on her afterwards. She’s a little fucked up and jaded from her former “profession.” Lee knows this, but not Lou. He seems to know nothing of her past and Lee isn’t going to snitch on her.

“I can talk to Florence and see if she can do something. I know she likes taking people under her wing and shit. She seems to really like Y/n too.”

“I’d greatly appreciate that Lee. I know I sound like I’m hard on her, but I do love her. It’s hard for me to show when she just doesn’t put any effort in.”

"Don't worry. I'll talk to Florence — I'll make everything right."

[nastybuckybarnes]

In a Heartbeat  -  Seven

Pairing: Fireman!Bucky X Reader

Summary: You’ve always been careful with your heart. With your condition, you don’t exactly have any other choice. The last time you let someone in, you paid the price. A price you don’t plan on paying again. Until Bucky comes in and shatters your carefully crafted world.

Warnings: Angst, Language, Injuries, Fluff, Fluff, FLUFF

Word Count: 4.1K

A/n: Here she is! Part seven! I’m gonna write a little epilogue but the fic can very well end here! I love this series with my whole heart and soul omg

Series Masterlist

~*~

He’s numb.

So damn numb.

Nothing even matters. His ears are ringing, the bright lights bouncing off the linoleum floors are fucking with his eyes but he doesn’t care because you’ve been in the operating room for hours and all he wants is to see you, to make sure you’re okay.

No one’s said a single thing to him about whether or not you’re okay, and it’s taking all of his self-control not to break down that door and see for himself.

A heavy hand lands on his shoulder, jolting him from his thoughts and bringing him back to the loud sounds of the waiting room.

He furrows his brows at Steve, confused out of his mind until he sees Tommy in his other arm, head resting against his father's shoulder and a casted arm hanging limply at his side.

“Hey Tommy, how you feeling?” The brunet asks, his voice rough and hoarse with lack of use.

The six-year-old only whimpers softly in response, burrowing further into his father’s neck.

“He’s okay. Doctor’s got him on some painkillers. Said it was a clean break from pounding on that window.” Bucky stands up, rubbing his nephew on the back. “You’re a hero, buddy. Just like your daddy.” Tommy sniffles and nods, the sight breaking the man’s heart.

“You should head home for the night, Buck. Shower, rest, then come back in the morning.” He clenches his jaw and swallows hard, shaking his head.

“I-I can’t, Steve. What if... what if she comes out and I’m not here? Or what if...” He trails off, not even wanting to entertain the idea of the other option.

“I saw Nat on her way down here. Ask her for an update and then go home. You’ve had a long day. And when she’s out of surgery she's gonna be upset to see that you’ve exhausted yourself out here in the waiting room.” Steve has a point. Both men are still in their fire gear, having rushed to the hospital directly from the fire.

It’s after midnight now.

“I’m taking Tommy home. Take care of yourself tonight, Buck. If not for you, then for her.” He nods, eyes on the floor as the blond leaves, his son curled up against his side.

“Barnes? You’re still here?” He looks up at the sound of Natasha’s voice, desperation evident on his face as she walks over to him.

“I’ve got no update other than she’s unstable and that they’re doing everything they can. It’ll be another few hours before she’s out of surgery and even then, she’s going straight to the ICU and won’t be awake for at least a day or so.” He lets out a terribly shaky breath but nods, rubbing his eyes then pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Y-you’ll call if there are any updates, right? I’m just gonna pop home and shower and sleep for a few hours but I'll be back first thing in the morning.” She nods, taking his hand and squeezing tightly.

“I’m off for the rest of the night, so I’ll be sticking around bugging the nurses for updates whenever I can. Might even bribe an intern with good coffee, not this hospital shit.” Bucky chuckles softly, shaking his head.

“Okay.” He takes a step towards the exit then hesitates, looking back at the redhead for a. moment. “Do you think she’s gonna make it?” He asks, his voice soft and broken and nearly lost among the sea of people.

Natasha swallows hard and avoids his eyes, taking a deep breath before answering.

“The doctors are doing everything they can.” A rehearsed answer. An answer she gives to relatives to let them know that they shouldn’t expect much.

He says nothing, only gives her a firm nod, then turns and leaves the hospital.

Hot droplets of water rain down on him, washing away the stench of smoke and the physical reminder of the events of the day. But no heat and no water pressure will wash away the sorrow in his soul. The absolute unadulterated fear that grips his bones and seeps into his bloodstream. That is something that won’t be washed away by any amount of water and suds.

His movements are mechanical, scrub, rinse, dry, dress.

The sleep that finds him is restless and fitful, filled with nightmares that will haunt him for nights to come. Every thought, both waking and otherwise, are occupied by you. Your face, your smile, your laugh, and the thought that he may never experience any of them again.

He's back at the hospital at six-thirty, coffee in his metal hand because his flesh one is shaking too much.

Just as he’s walking to the reception desk, he sees Natasha walking towards the waiting room. Her face is unreadable when she sees him, but he notices her take a deep breath.

“What is it?” He asks, not bothering with pleasantries.

“She’s out of surgery. She’s still unstable, hasn’t woken up yet, but she’s been out for about three hours. She probably won’t wake up until this evening.” He takes a few deep breaths then nods, a bubble of relief hugging him tenderly.

“Where is she?” Nat sighs and turns on her heel, leading him towards your room.

“James, I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. She’s not doing well. There’s still a fair chance that she won’t wake up.” She stops, looking up at him with vulnerability in her eyes, tears brimming.

“What is it?” He’s nervous, his heart feels like it’s going to explode.

“They’re saying she needs a transplant. That her heart won’t last for much longer and if she wants any hope of surviving more than a couple years, she’ll need a new heart.”

The air leaves his lungs in a whoosh, almost as if someone punched him in the gut. He stumbles back a step, coffee dropped and hands coming to the tops of his thighs as he hunches over, trying to catch his breath.

“That’s a best-case scenario. Worst case is she... well... we should’ve said our goodbyes. But she’s strong. She’ll pull through. She has to pull through.” That last part is whispered so softly that the brunet almost misses it.

“Nat,” his voice breaks, it cracks and splinters and shatters in pieces on the linoleum that he doesn’t have the energy to pick up. He can’t pick himself back up. Not if you might not wake up. He just can’t.

“Sit down, c’mon.” She helps him lean back against the wall, sliding down until he’s seated, arms draped over his knees and his head hanging heavily between them.

He can’t breathe.

A sick voice in his head screams that this is what you must’ve been feeling, this terrible tightness in your chest, this inability to draw in a single damn breath. It’s unbearable and for just a moment he realizes he wouldn’t blame you if you gave up, if you just let it take you. But he shakes that thought from his head and instead focuses on you fighting. You need to fight. If you can pull through, then they can find you a new heart and you’ll be okay.

You’re going to be okay.

You have to be okay.

~*~

Everything feels still. Dry. Bland.

If you could pin it to a colour, that colour would be beige.

Everything feels beige.

You’ve been awake for a little while now, gathering your bearings and trying to remember what happened. The last thing you remember is the fire bell... Wanda telling you not to go... and then running back into the building to find Tommy.

Tommy.

Your heart picks up in speed, pain flaring through your chest at the action, and an alarm starts beeping rapidly.

It takes only seconds for the door to open, nurses and doctors flooding into the room and checking the various machines around you while you grab at the front of your hospital gown uselessly, trying to alleviate the pain.

“(Y/n), I need you to take a big breath with me, okay?” A doctor says, her brown eyes focused on yours. You nod, inhaling with her for a moment then exhaling. You do this a few times and the machine gradually stops, your heart slowing as whatever they injected into your bloodstream takes effect.

Nurses slowly trickle out, leaving just you and the doctor.

“Well, you sure know how to make an entrance,” she says with a smile, looking over your chart.

“What can I say, Doc? I’ve got a flair for the dramatic.” Your voice is weak, far weaker than it should be, and that alone scares you.

She chuckles softly, smiling at your words before tucking the chart under her arm and looking at you straight on.

“You being alive right now is an absolute miracle,” she says softly, taking a step towards the bed then motioning to the chair beside it, asking wordlessly if she can take a seat.

You nod, taking a few deep breaths as you prepare to hear whatever news she has for you.

“Your heart stopped twice on the way to the hospital, and the second time we almost couldn’t get it going again. Your heart is weak, and what you endured nearly ruptured your left atrium and you had severe lacerations of your ventricles. It is most comparable to a very severe heart attack, and you’re lucky to have survived.”

She doesn’t look like she’s delivering good news. No, she should be happy if you’re lucky to have survived. That fact alone puts you on edge.

“What is it? What... what’s wrong with my heart now?” You know it can’t be good judging only by the look on her face. It’s a look you’ve seen far too many times.

“With the rate you’re going, your heart will give out completely in three or four years. And it won’t be a pleasant process. You’ll be in pain, bedridden and hospitalized because you won’t be able to move. The only alternative is a transplant.” The world around you shifts from beige to grey, the clouds dark and the room sorrowful.

Your ears start ringing, loud and painfully and it takes everything in you not to rip them right off.

“S-so that’s it then? I’m gonna die in three years if I’m lucky? I’ve only got three years left?” She sighs and looks down at her hands, “the only other option would be to put you on a waiting list for a new heart, but we cannot guarantee that you’ll get it in time, but it’s worth a shot.” You shake your head, tears falling from your eyes and splattering on the ugly blue hospital blanket.

“I don’t want a new heart! I don’t want to go through a process and get my hopes up over something that I won’t get in time.” You sniffle and shove your face in your hands, the steady beeping of the machine next to you making you want to cry even harder.

“I’ll give you some time, (Y/n).” The doctor gets up and leaves, a sad look on her face as she turns to the pair waiting anxiously outside your door.

Natasha pushes herself to her feet, her eyes wide with curiosity and desperation.

“I recommend you give her space. She’s... processing everything,” Doctor Palmer says softly, giving Natasha a sad smile before walking away to handle her other patients.

Nat exchanges looks with Bucky then slowly walks to the door.

“Just give me a minute to see how she’s doing, okay? I’ll tell her you’re out here waiting, I just wanna see if she needs anything.” He takes a deep breath but nods, understanding that Natasha would be able to tell, if only from a medical standpoint, what you need.

You keep your face in your hands, tears wetting your palms, as the door opens again.

“Beans?” Nat’s voice makes you stiffen, sniffling and wiping your eyes before peeking up at her.

Her heart shatters in her chest at the sight of you.

Skin dull, eyes heavy and sunken. She’s seen a lot of sick people before but never would she have put you in the same category as them. Now though? Now, you look the part.

“I uh... I heard the news. Bugged the nurses for updates and they finally caved.”

Your bottom lip wobbles and then a sob bubbles out of your chest.

Nat’s face falls and she slides onto the bed beside you, pulling you into a tight embrace while you sob.

“Oh beans,” she whispers, smoothing your hair away from your face.

“I don’t want a new heart!” You cry, tears soaking her shirt. She hugs you, holds you tightly while you cry out your frustrations, your sorrows.

It’s agony.

She has so many questions, so much she wants to say, but she knows better.

She holds her tongue, wanting you to be in a better headspace before she talks to you about your options. It’s too soon. The wound is too fresh.

Bucky sits impatiently outside of the room the whole time, leg bouncing and flesh fingers trembling.

Natasha comes out of your room a short while later, sniffling and wiping at her cheeks.

“What’s happening? Is she okay?” The redhead nods, taking a few deep breaths.

“I’ve seen a lot of sick people, Barnes. A lot of them. But seeing her... seeing my friend so weak and tiny...” She shakes her head, looking up at him with glossy eyes.

“I’m scared, Buck.” Bucky pulls her into a hug, his own breaths shaking.

“It's okay. It’s gonna be okay.” She sniffles again then speaks, “she’s asleep again. She should be good to see you the next time she wakes up though. I’m sure she misses you.” He squeezes his eyes shut but nods, trying to mentally prepare himself to see you in such a fragile state.

~*~

Bucky doesn’t know how to feel.

He doesn’t even want to feel.

Helpless.

That’s the word that sums it up the best.

Seeing you on that hospital bed, tubes attached to your face, arms, and chest, he feels absolutely helpless.

“Hey,” he murmurs, smiling gently when you look up from your book.

“Bucky... Hi.” Your voice is raspy and hoarse, and he has to take a few shaky breaths to stop from crying.

“You mind if I sit?” You shake your head, motioning to the chair beside your bed.

He takes a seat and looks at you closely, his eyes welling up with tears.

“How ya feelin, pretty girl?” You huff a breath out through your nose then shrug, trying your hardest to stay strong in front of him.

“I uh... I’ve been better, I gotta say.” He chuckles weakly then nods, sniffling and dropping his gaze for a moment.

“Nat uh... Nat told me what the doctors said. About your heart and stuff. That’s... intense.” It’s not the best word but it’s the only one he can find.

You blow a breath out through your mouth and nod.

“It’s scary,” you whisper, not looking up from your hands even when he takes them in his.

“I’m scared. I don’t want to be put on a waiting list only to not get one in time. And there are people who need a new heart more than I do. People who want one more than I do.” He furrows his brows and cocks his head to the side in confusion.

“What do you mean, you don’t want a new heart? Why wouldn’t you want one?”

You sigh heavily, “because, James. This is my heart. It’s the heart that I’ve lived with for my whole life. I don’t want a new one because this one is mine. This is the one that’s dealt with heartbreaks and betrayals. This is the one that’s gotten me through the bad days and the good. And this is the one that chose you. I don’t want a different one. I wanna keep this one. And don’t you dare tell me that my days are numbered if I keep this one because my days are numbered regardless.”

You finally look up at him, fire in your eyes as you express everything that’s been going on in your mind.

“We’re all gonna die someday, and it may not be the way we expect or the way we want, and we won’t ever be fully ready for it. But it’s gonna happen. I’d much rather know that I spent my life doing what I wanted on my terms. If my days are numbered, I'd rather enjoy them than spend them waiting for a heart I may never get. My heart’s still got a few years left in it. Careful years, yeah, but years no less.”

Tears stain his cheeks and he nods, sniffling twice then pressing a kiss to your hands.

“I’m not going to try and change your mind, Doll. The choice is completely yours and no matter what you decide to do, I’ll stay by your side through all of it, I promise. You’re my girl, my best girl, my only girl, and I want you to do what’s best for you.” You squeeze your eyes shut, having mentally prepared yourself for him to put up a fight, not for him to be so supportive of your decision.

“I love you, (Y/n). And I’m gonna cherish every fucking moment that you let me spend with you because I love you. I thought,” he pauses, pulling a hand back to scrub the tears off of his cheeks only for more to fall.

“I thought I’d lose you before getting a chance to truly tell you. But I’m not gonna waste any more time because life is a precious gift. I love you, (Y/n). So much. To the fucking ends of the Earth. I love you and I don't want a day to go by where you don’t know just how much I love you.”

You whimper, his confession making warmth spread through your body and tears rain down your cheeks.

“I-I love you too, James. With every ounce of my heart, I love you. And I don't want to let you down and I never want to hurt you.” He closes his eyes, content to bask in the weight of your words for a moment longer, a private, intimate moment.

He eventually settles his head on the bed next to your hip, and your fingers find their way into his luscious brown locks, twirling the thick strands around mindlessly.

“When are you getting discharged?” He asks, his voice muffled by the bed.

“I’m not sure yet. Doctor Palmer said she wants to keep me here for at least another week or so to monitor my heart and take me off the medication, and then maybe some more time after that depending on how weak I am.” He nods, nuzzling against you some more.

“I’m not going back to work ‘till you’re out,” he says matter-of-factly.

You only giggle, shaking your head.

“James, that’s not even plausible. You’ve got bills to pay. Besides, you’ll get tired of being here. I’m gonna spend most of my time sleeping or bugging the nurses for some real food.” He lifts his head, eyes full of vulnerability.

“I just don't wanna leave you and then...” He trails off but you understand his concern.

“I’m gonna be okay. Doctor Palmer says I’m doing okay. I’m sure Nat will continue bugging her for updates and she’ll let you know if there’s anything concerning happening. But I’m gonna be fine, I swear.” He watches you for a moment longer before nodding and pressing his head against your thigh.

A thought bubbles into your mind and you tug gently on his hair to get his attention.

“What happened to Tommy?” You ask, voice tight and filled with apprehension.

Bucky only smiles gently.

“Lil guy’s a hero. He busted that window open, that’s how we found you two. Broke his arm but he’s okay. Says he looks like me so he likes it.” A smile finds its way onto your face at the idea of Tommy looking up to his uncle so much.

“He’s already gotten everyone at the firehouse to sign it, and I’m sure when he’s back to school he’ll get everyone there to sign it too. But the lil guy’s a hero. Gonna make a good firefighter.” You nod, mind flashing back to those last few moments in the school.

“I was so scared, James. I-I couldn’t protect him and I didn’t know what to do.” He reaches up and strokes your cheek gently, shushing you softly.

“It’s okay, pretty girl. It’s okay. Everyone’s okay.” You take a few deep breaths and nod, trying to calm down before your heart rate picks up too much.

“You need to worry about yourself, and not everyone else. Focus on getting better, okay? And then, when you’re ready, I’m gonna take you out on a date and show you just how much you can enjoy life, okay?”

You nod, smiling at him.

“Okay.”

~*~

“Miss (Y/l/n)!” Tommy runs at you full speed, nearly knocking you over when he barrels into your legs.

Bucky’s quick to steady you, opening his mouth to reprimand his nephew but you stop him, raising a hand to cut him off.

“Hey, Tommy! How’s my little superhero feeling?” He pulls back and smiles up at you.

“I got another cast so now my arm looks just like uncle Bucky’s!” You glance at the new blue cast and smile brightly.

“Look at that! And you’re a hero just like him too, huh?” He nods excitedly then digs around in his pocket for a moment.

“Here!” He hands you a sharpie then points to a blank space on his cast.

“I made sure to leave room for you to sign it!” Your face softens and you crouch down in front of him, signing your name and drawing a small picture.

“Thank you, Tommy.” He nods, glancing over his shoulder as his dad calls his name.

“C’mon Tommy! You gonna help us move or are you gonna help miss (Y/l/n) get organized?” He looks between you and his dad then runs over to the moving truck, excitedly grabbing whatever his little arms can carry then bringing them into the house.

Bucky wraps an arm around your waist and presses a soft kiss to your temple.

“You ready?” You look up at your new house, then over at him, nodding without hesitation.

“Absolutely.”

The moving process is long and tedious, and after seven hours of lifting, unboxing, cleaning, and organizing, you’re about ready to call it a day.

“Pizza’s on its way, and Nat ran out to grab some beers,” Bucky says, coming up into the master bedroom. Concern immediately colours his features as he sees the way you’re sitting. You’re on the bed, hunched over with one hand on your mouth and the other on your lower abdomen.

“(Y/n)?” He asks, coming to a crouch in front of you and trying to get a look at your face.

You take a few deep breaths then nod, opening your eyes and offering him a weak smile.

“You okay?” You nod again but he seems unconvinced.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You take a deep breath and reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I uh.. not really. I wanted to tell you in a better way but I guess this is as good as it’s going to get.” His heart is in his throat, absolutely terrified of what you’re going to tell him.

You’ve been going to the doctor a lot more frequently, and your energy levels have plummeted.

He knew you didn’t have time left but it hasn’t even been six months since the fire.

You pull his hand to your stomach and rest it there gently, eyes finding his as you wait for it to click.

He stares at his hand in confusion, that confusion melting away as he realizes what you’re telling him.

“Wait, are you...?”  His eyes are wide, eyebrows raised and heart pounding.

You only nod, tears welling up in your eyes as he launches up and wraps his arms around your frame.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! I’m gonna be a dad!” You giggle wetly, tears of joy falling and getting soaked up by his shirt.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” He pulls back, hands on your small baby bump.

“How far along are you?” He asks, cradling the bump delicately between his hands.

“About three months. And the doctor said that they’ve already got a birth plan ready, and different pills for me to take to calm my heart.” His glossy eyes look up at you, so full of love and adoration.

“I can’t believe it. I...” he stops, leaning in the gently kiss your lips then pulls you into another tight embrace.

“Thank you, (Y/n). Thank you.”

[nostalgiabones]

Focus on Me // C.H

This is a completely self indulgent blurb that I wrote at 3am after a rough night of anxiety. This is what I felt I wanted at the time, so I thought I’d share it in the hopes of it bringing comfort to someone else feeling this way. So this features themes of anxiety, and comfort from Calum.

Word count: 1,332

“Hey, look at me.”

Calum’s fingertips gently but firmly tap your chin, tilting your face to encourage you to look at him. When you’re feeling like this, you’re sure no one understands — that no one in the world could possibly ease the weight on your chest. Calum knows better, though — throughout your relationship he’s picked up on what you need, and how to get through to you.

“Up here,” He murmurs, loud enough so you hear him, but quiet enough that the moment is just for the two of you — even though no one else is around. “I’m right here, my love. Focus on me.”

Calum has noticed little signs that you weren’t feeling your best all day — from the lack of keeping up a conversation to your fingertips tapping against the table as you ate dinner, he knew. He noticed how you showered before bed, and spent at least fifteen minutes trying to find something to wear for bed — each t-shirt you pulled out not sitting right — but you didn’t quite know why. He silently observes, you think he doesn’t notice — but he always does.

“Just breathe for a minute,” He says it like it’s so simple, and for anyone else, it would be. Yet you feel as though as soon as you release your breath, everything comes crashing down with it — somehow it’s easier to tense up and let your eyes focus on a random spot on the wall. His tone is smooth and reassuring — he makes a conscious effort to keep his voice soft, as he knows anything more will make you feel worse. He throws a leg over yours, almost pressing you against the soft mattress of the bed — he knows the weight helps you to feel grounded.

He’ll never forget the first time you had an anxious day when he was around; your eyes wouldn’t quite meet his and your hands trembled when he tried to hold them. He hadn’t been sure of what to do, how to make you feel better or whether he could. He’ll also never forget the way you pulled him on top of you, letting him lay almost flat against you on the sofa, finally seeing some relief in your expression at the release of the anxiety that had consumed you that day. As soon as he got home, he had ordered a weighted blanket — hoping the sensation would provide similar comfort to what he does, when he can’t be around. He still uses it now, when he is here — when he wants to hold you but you still need the weight of something against you. It’s tucked under the bed, and it’s been a while since you needed it — but he feels as though it could make an appearance tonight.

“You’re okay,” He reassures you, calloused thumbs brushing over your temples, trying to convince you to relax your face. He can feel your tensed jaw, knowing you’re clenching your teeth — but he knows he can only focus on alleviating one thing at a time. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are. I’m staying right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. We’re gonna ride this out together.”

The unshed tears lining your eyes don’t go unnoticed, and it makes Calum’s heart ache that what he sees as so little is a big deal to you. He doesn’t have to think twice about trying to help, trying to convince your anxious brain that you’re not in danger. Yet he knows previously you’ve had no choice but to deal with it yourself, and now, having Calum around is a blessing.

He reaches over for the TV remote and turns down the volume as well as the brightness, not wanting you to be overstimulated by the surroundings — another thing he’s made note of is how restless you get when there’s too much going on. He doesn’t turn it off completely though — although he has no idea what show is on, he doesn’t care; it’s background noise to distract you from whatever thoughts are swirling around your mind.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” You murmur, your voice so quiet that he almost doesn’t hear you. You fear making it louder will disturb the lump in your throat. Calum shakes his head, his face so close to yours that his nose nudges yours when he moves. The words are true; although there’s only so much he can do, having him around makes everything feel brighter, easier — you wake up looking forward to what the day with him holds, rather than the emptiness you once felt every morning.

“You deserve the whole world and more, baby. I wish I could give it to you.” Calum admits, lips brushing yours as he speaks, ending the sentence with a soft kiss. He’s told himself time and time again that he can’t take your anxiety away, and you’ve told him that you don’t expect him to — yet he so desperately wishes he could. He wishes he never has to see you cry, or hold your hair in the bathroom of a social event you don’t want to be at. “You deserve to be happy, and to enjoy yourself. I wish you believed that too.”

Somehow, with Calum around, you’re starting to.

The more you fall for him, the more you trust him and his words — he truly wants you to be happy, wants the best for you, and it makes you want it for yourself, too. He doesn’t rush you though. He doesn’t expect you to be happy every day — he isn’t himself. You’re human and you have bad days, but he wants to be around to make sure they’re just that — bad days, not weeks, or years.

Calum’s gentle whispers against your forehead work wonders in getting your mind to settle down, he’s something to focus on — finally able to release your jaw, your tongue dropping from the roof of your mouth. He feels your shoulders relax for the first time in hours and he’s relieved too — it makes him feel better. His hand is warm as he smoothes it across the top of your back, a gentle pressure that grounds you and reminds you that he’s there. He feels your hands that were brushing through the soft curls at the back of his neck come to a stop, your grip loosening as you allow yourself to relax.

He’s sure he’ll never forget the feeling of you falling asleep on him — it kicks in an instinct he’s never felt before, like he’ll do anything in his power to keep you comfortable and protect you. He feels it deep in his chest, like he could explode with the love he feels for the person sleeping in his arms. It’s like the world stands still, so content that you’re comfortable enough to rest with him, to let both your mind and body sleep, knowing that he’s got you. He loves how normal it feels; that he can just sit scrolling through his phone or watching the TV whilst you sleep, and you know he won’t go anywhere. You’re a comforting weight to him, and he’s starting to understand why it helps when you’re feeling anxious. He finds himself keeping up the soothing gestures, even when you’re already passed out, convincing himself that you still feel it, in your sleep.

Calum takes the hand that’s clinging to his hoodie with a firm grip and laces his fingers between yours, gently squeezing, his lips pressed to your knuckles in a loving gesture. He doesn’t say anything but a smile graces his lips when you ever so softly squeeze back, and he can’t remember a time where he’s ever felt so loved.

He has no intention of moving, not until he absolutely has to; there’s nowhere else he would rather be.

“Goodnight, my love.”

**

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[saudade-mayari]

💜 Happy 500 Luna! Can I please have Kakashi x Reader + some night bliss scenario? You know, that moment when you both can't sleep at 3am, and it's just... Peaceful and safe (sfw or not - I'll leave it to you 😌). I'm so proud of you, you're an amazing author, you deserve all love. I hope we'll see your 1k milestone soon ♥️

3am Midnight Bliss

♡ Warnings: Kakashi x fem!reader, domestic fluffs, suggestive content and nsfw on the last part, 18+ content, minors please dni

The nightfall’s calming and peaceful dim light shining across the windows of his apartment was hypnotizing, the moon was full and shown with a brilliance between the tall evergreens and slow rising of buildings in Konoha. It was all good, almost perfect if you could say so. The reconstruction of Konoha had come better than expected, his hard work of being the base pillar of the Land of Fire and ensuring that the village will enter a new state of technology was all worth it. His restless nights of meeting various investors, councilmen, and fellow Kages totally paid its price, truly a diligent man.

Your eyes opened wide by the sudden actions of Kakashi, the way he wrapped his arms around you is filled with longing and passion. It’s been a while since he actually stayed in his own house, been a while since both of you had laid each other down and talk about life. Indeed being the Hokage took all his time but you understand, he may not ‘love’ the responsibility of being the supreme leader of the Land of Fire but never did Kakashi once slacked off or put the village in a tight situation. He loves the village and the people and he’s willing to protect it at all cost. That’s one thing you are sure about. You wrapped your small arms around his body while your legs clinging to his hips, finally noticing you are also awake.

“Can’t sleep?” You muttered between his arms. Kakashi’s eyes somehow glittered in happiness, missing your touch and your voice whenever he’s out on serious Kage works. He gave out a not-so-tired nod then kissed your head while giving you another tight hug. You smiled between his arms, it felt peaceful. It’s not what you and Kakashi had grown up with. You are both 2-war veterans and seeing every corner of the world in a peaceful state is almost a dream for him.

“It’s so different now.” He said, stroking every strand of hair that covers your face. You smiled, both of you are thinking the same thoughts. It was almost unbelievable. You kissed his chest.

“It really is. It’s so calming.” You answered while looking at his face. Appreciating his little beauty mark, his well-defined jaw, his fair skin, eyes, the scarred cheek that made him look so perfect, and the classic silver hair of Kakashi. “It’s all thanks to Naruto and the rest. I haven’t even done anything as their Hokage.” He answered. This rarely happens, pillow talks weren’t usually on Kakashi’s master plans and schedules since he became the Hokage. He needed rest and you always ensure he’ll get enough strength for the next day. It’s the very least you could do for him.

“You’re a great Hokage, love. You did a lot for the village even before you’ve become the Hokage. Don’t downgrade yourself too much.”

Kakashi hugged you tighter. Once again smelling the flowery scent that he had always love. His calming complex, his home. “Really? I think you’re just flattering me.” You gave out a small chuckle on his response, clearly joking but you know how low his confidence had become ever since he took the title of Sixth Hokage.

“You established many things already. Many things wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t you sitting on the chair as Sixth Hokage.” You assured him but Kakashi gave out a sigh. Despite the peace, there were still many things bothering him. You’ve been his wife for almost 3 years now and every single sigh and flickers on his eyes are so obvious to what’s bothering him. He was even amazed at how much you were able to read him as he does.

“Kakashi love… Tell me. What’s bothering you”

“I wish we were born a little later, Obito and Rin wouldn’t have to go through such pain. I feel so guilty living this kind of peace when they’re not here. Anymore. I don’t even deserve this.”

You sat down, stared at those dark orbs now filled with sadness and regret. You cupped his face to force him to look at you. Obito and Rin. The memoirs that always tattoed in our hearts. The very reason why Kakashi had turned out to be a great man is because of the ideals they all shared as a team.

“Kakashi. Do you think they’re going to be happy seeing you like that? You don’t regret marrying me aren’t you?”

“No. Of course not! I love you.”

You smiled at him then kissed the tip of his nose. “Then let’s live for them okay? And besides… You gotta live for another buddy this time.”

Kakashi stood up, gave you a reassuring smile then held your shoulders, slightly shocked by your sudden remarks. Seeing him on his tank top while his mask freely hanging on his neck and those unruly silver locks made you chuckle are completely far from the broad man they see on an everyday basis. Yep, the Sixth Hokage.

“y/n- Are you-”

Answering with a nod, tears started building up in his dark orbs. The feeling of love. Marriage and parenthood. It was almost unbelievable for Kakashi. His grip on your shoulders gradually tightened and started looking up at the room’s ceiling, clearly trying to suppress his tears from completely falling.

“We’ve been trying right…When did you-... I-”

“Three months. Sakura disclosed this morning. I was about to announce later but I think today’s the right moment to say..”

Kakashi did not take his time already, in a matter of time your lips suddenly crushed to his. It was not lust, not the type of hunger you usually do. It was different. Gratitude and Happiness. Love and warmth. It was so emotional.

You wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him closer, both of you were once again laid down on the soft mattress of the bed, slightly making the thick comforter out of place. Your foreheads and the tip of your noses are pressing to each other. Both of your tears are now falling, feeling extremely euphoric and everything in between.

“I love you. Let’s live for them and for our kid Kakashi.”

And before he entered his tongue to yours, Kakashi rubbed your belly then goes back to kissing your cheeks with tears still falling. He’s going to be a father. The one that scared him the most but little did he know the excitement of forming a family with you would be this emotional.

“I love you too, thank you for everything y/n.”

Kakashi never took his time removing your clothes but it was still steady and slow. His moves were delicate and careful. He could smell your arousal. He knew that you’re turned on. He parted your folds only to find that you’re core is invitingly wet. He massaged it carefully, looking at you while your lips part from the moans around the four corners of the room.

“Kakashi… I need you…”

“My wife is so needy, as you wish love.”

He placed his shaft at your entrance and nudged its way in. You gave out a pleasuring gasped as you tried to adjust to his overwhelming length. Once he was completely inside you, Kakashi started thrusting slow and steadily. Your hips met his every thrust, making you raise your legs to circle around his waist. This only allowed him to move into your body much closer. Kakashi had kept kissing you to prevent you from screaming. He knew that he wouldn't last long. He increased the pace and when he couldn't hold back any longer, he gave out soft grunts and moans alongside his climax. Praising how much lucky he is to have you as his wife. Before closing your eyes Kakashi passionately kissed your lips then held your 3 month belly.

“I can’t believe we’re going to be family y/n. I’ll do my best to be the father our little baby deserves.”

“We will, love. I know it.”

Requests for 500 followers event status: CLOSED

Event Masterlist

[pedrosbrat]

Sorrow You Are My Light {Pero Tovar x Max Phillips x F!Reader}

CHAPTER I : Insomnia

AU - Vampire Hunters

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Angst, Nightmares, Language, alcohol, yearning, violence (fight) , mention of murder, sword, blood …

Summary: You and Pero were united by fate in your youth due to a tragic event. You will seek revenge from the creature that caused your common suffering all your life without success... Until you cross paths with Max Philips, forcing you to form an alliance with an enemy to destroy a common foe...

Little Comment : Hi everyone, it’s my first series, I hope you will like it (if you see any mistakes let me know and I will correct it) - 1 chapter will be published every week, every Saturday⚔️ Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

1440- Transylvania

You have been travelling on horseback for a little more than two days now, with a weather changing from very hot to very rainy, and usually it doesn't bother you, at least not really, because Pero has the decency to take breaks, it has always been like that. But for the first time in decades of travelling together, he has refused to take any breaks, because he says you are close to the goal.

You can understand it, and you feel it too, but you would still like to be able to rest, not feeling your legs or even feeling your buttocks... You don't even know if you don't feel them anymore because of the total absence of sensation from sitting on your horse for this long, or if the pain you felt yesterday has taken over and has become a friend, and the only company you feel at this moment.

Because despite his presence, Pero is far too absorbed in the mission. This is nothing new, in fact, he has always been like this, only usually he has the good sense to admit that sleep is important for a good fight, as well as a somewhat adequate physical form...

"If we are attacked by a vampire now Pero I won't be able to fight". You say as you catch up to him slightly at a gallop. "Stop complaining," he says, slightly grumpier than his natural temperament, which is bound to be an effect of lack of sleep. "I'm not complaining, I'm just right! You know very well that the lack of rest will eventually kill us, if it is not the horses that die long before us! You say, slightly annoyed by his behaviour.

He stopped short, and turned to face you, grimacing, probably aching and exhausted, unconsciously proving your point: "If he runs away, he'll kill more people! You seem to forget what this thing is capable of!" "Forget?!" you say, widening your eyes, increasingly annoyed.

Vampires: demonic beings that have occupied the lands of your country since your childhood. At first, in your youth, their presence was only a myth, which some people described as mad swore they had seen, but as time went on, the world realised that it was all real. These decaying beings, who have no chance of finding the light again, their gaze completely absorbed in the darkness, surrounded by veins resembling the shade of smoke enveloping the sky and covering all traces of the sun. They are the shadows that will hide the light of all normal life since your youth... Since that night sixteen years ago...

You know that Pero can be stubborn, but he is not so deeply stubborn that he tries to pretend to anyone who doesn't know him, although he hides it quite well, he is a gentle man and a good man... Except when he really decides otherwise, as he has done for the last forty-eight hours. So you don't try to argue or have a simple debate with him on the subject, because you know very well what he's talking about and you don't want to talk about it... You've already had enough nightmares since you were a child, so you don't need that.

You gallop alone towards the big city, from where you are not so far now, determined to make a big turn, to let your horse rest, and to rest at the same time in a real bed, and not stones under a sheet for a pillow or an old tavern of the village where you were hunting.

It doesn't matter if he follows you or not, you're far too tired and suffering to care at the moment, and being a very good tracker, you know you'll be able to find him if only a few hours separate you from each other, and at least you'll be able to fight effectively if something happens.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

The city is not as jovial as it usually is. You don't know why, of course, but there's a sort of silent restlessness that mingles with an almost empty square, leaving a black shadow over all those little houses, like a feeling deep inside you that you can see floating over the city.

"Anything interesting in the sky Paloma?"

You turn, coming out of the thoughts that had completely absorbed you, to find that Pero is at your side, handing you a piece of cheese, which he must have bought at the entrance of the city, and that you grab without hesitation the rumbling belly for any substitute of food... His way of apologizing and telling you that you are right, even if he will never admit it out loud...

Pero will never admit it, but he doesn't like to see you turning your back on him. He likes your presence, even if he doesn't express it, he likes to see you smiling, annoying him, lecturing him. He likes the way you've been waddling around on your horse for the last few days, and he knows it's only because of the pain he's putting you through, and that he shouldn't like to see that, he feels a little bad about it at times.... But you are so beautiful... And that ass, God only knows how many times he's dreamed of it bouncing off him...

"Nothing special, just a bad feeling" you say, taking a bite of the end of your feeble dish, "...I don't really believe in feelings you know, but for once I have to give it to you..." he says, kicking the sides of his horse to start galloping "No we should let the king know we're back, maybe he'll explain what's going on.

You nod and follow him, speeding up in your turn, not missing the crosses on the front of each house, as well as some silver objects in front of the windows, which normally would have been looted by the small thieves of the city, but even they don't seem to want to touch them... You start to understand what is going on but don't go forward, hoping that the bad luck hasn't come to your place of living once again, where you and Tovar have decided to stay for more than two years now.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

The throne room which is usually decorated with berries on every table, and bright silk draperies falling from the chandeliers to the ceiling, adorning the sides of the windows are not present, leaving the room in a dullness and sadness that the king and queen usually do not like. But they don't seem to mind, in fact in this room where all the lords are gorging themselves and filling up, they think it is much more agitated than the atmosphere outside. An almost incomprehensible hubbub envelops the room, leaving the king before you, not uttering a word, eyes fixed on you, nodding towards a guard at the back of the room, leading to the inner corridors of the castle, a neutral look on his face, leaving his wife and lords to shout complaints and fears into every ear.

He stands up curtly as the others in the room don't take the decency to stop talking as they usually would, leaving the king to walk out the back door, with you on his heels.

"Where were you?!" He says before you can even close the door to the large hallway, "On the trail of one of them my king" Pero says, bowing his head slightly. "And?" Said the king as he placed his index finger and thumb on his nose, as if trying to relieve a headache. "We had a trail... But we got away from it because of me" you say as you look the king in the eye, not flinching, assuming that a disaster may be looming over the city because of you.

The king doesn't answer and starts pacing in front of you before continuing silently, in a calm and gentle manner that must have always been endowed with "It's nothing... I think you might have guessed it when you returned to the city, but one of them is attacking an area near here..." "And no one was AVAILABLE to stop it?... Dios mío..." says pero a little annoyed that everyone is waiting on you two. "Oh, there were many volunteers... But none came back."

You turn your gaze to Tovar understanding without him actually saying it, what the king is asking you. He nods and you do the same before turning to the king, "Where? Where did you send them?" you say, already beginning to think you're going to regret it, "The Singing Mountain... There was... If you had seen what happened there...".

He couldn't finish his sentence and squinted hard, as if to chase away painful memories buried behind his eyelids. "We've seen it all our lives," Pero said before bowing and walking out to cross the throne room. You do the same, "It will be dark soon, we can't leave now, it would be too dangerous. But at dawn we'll get started. You don't share any contact with him, out of royal respect, and simply turn on your heels to join Pero, already far away, probably thinking of a plan for tomorrow.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

Your little house is on the outskirts of the village, a little out of the way, not that you don't like the presence of other people, but you are simply used to living like this: just the two of you.

You had already tried to live in separate houses in the village when you arrived two years ago, but every night was cut short by panicked screams and the search for comforting warmth next to you, visions and nightmares that you hadn't had in years, memories that were buried in the depths of your mind, every moment and every night that you spent in Pero's arms.

And you know that it was the same for him, even if he never mentioned it. He didn't have to. The simple fact that he would leave his house at one end of town in the middle of the night to join you under the sheets without saying anything and just let you snuggle up to him as you have done since you were children. So, you drifted away from the villagers, refusing to attach yourself to anyone else, only needing each other, sleeping together to hunt and seek comfort from the demons that plague you both when night falls. And sometimes even sharing each other's presence you feel that you are missing something... It's weird, and you don't know what it is. You don't talk about it... But you both feel it as well...

After setting up silver dust, under foliage all around your home and bringing back some stew that an old lady gave you in the village, thanking you for protecting them, and drinking a large pint of beer that Pero had left out in the house, you both finish your well-deserved meal in silence, savouring every mouthful of stew with a deliciousness like you've never tasted before... Or maybe you're just so hungry that everything would seem like a delicacy right now.

The same goes for the bed, having obviously finished before Pero who always takes a second bite and calls you "paloma", which according to what he told you simply means that you don't eat much for someone who is always crying out for food, like a little bird. You quickly head for your room so that you can have a nice bath without being disturbed by his lack of patience who you know would be there asking you every thirty seconds if you were almost finished, wanting to take a bath as well. So you were able to enjoy it fully until the water cooled, letting your muscles relax from the tumultuous journey and the stress dissolve for a short moment you cherished.

"I heard people talking about this mountain when we first arrived..." says Pero from the bathroom, waking you from your near sleep, now lying on the bed "Mmmh..." you reply far too tired to utter a word. Eyes still closed, you sit up slightly, knowing that he won't stop there. "The villagers always said that the devil lived in his heart... I didn't really pay attention to it, since there was never a murder... At least until now.”

You open your eyes hearing his voice much closer than it was a few seconds ago, and the reason being that he is standing by the bed, with only a sheet around his hips, placing his weapons beside him as he always does before going to bed. And for your part you try to look away as you always do before going to bed. At least when you sleep in a bed with him. At first it was quite simple and automatic not to look at him when you were younger and when he is only "dressed" like that... But lately it has become quite difficult... It has become quite difficult to avoid the vision of his broad shoulders and that torso getting thinner and thinner towards his waist, that aqualine nose that you imagine between your legs, before placing kisses on it as on his perfect lips and this goddamn perfect little line on it... And that scar on his beautiful obsidian black puppy-dog eyes, even if you're almost sure he doesn't like it, that scar on his face...That scar gives him a crazy charm... And everytime it become impossible to avoid to look at the droplets falling from his deep chocolate curls, sliding down that nape of his neck that you wish you could mark with your lips, to end up around his pure silver cross, shining on his golden and bronze skin...

It's become so hard to ignore this man who's practically become a god under your hungry eyes, as hard as it is to ignore the coming arousal that you feel between your legs as you watch him walk around in his armor or the mere sight of the veins and muscles in his neck give you unholy thoughts...

You turn around and help yourself to your sheets, crossing your legs to try and forget what you'd like him to do to you in that room and bed right now, thinking about how you probably wouldn't have the energy for it, and you fall asleep quicker than you thought you would, already with your mind bent on what you might find on that mountain tomorrow...

Pero watches your body rise and fall slightly with every breath you take and exhale, as he has been doing every night for the past few years... Since he was old enough to understand that you were no longer just a friend to him, that he was no longer indifferent to your curves, that he would watch you come out of the bathroom out of the corner of his eye and bend over the bed to admire your buttocks that he always imagined grabbing tightly in his hands... But he never did and was content to watch you fall asleep with your back to him, now that he can no longer see you come out with a simple sheet around you, your hair wet and your skin steaming from the good bath he would have liked to share with you... He is only content to fall asleep following your breaths, wanting deep down, much more of his Paloma...

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

You have galloped and walked all day to get to this cursed place, making you arrive around mid-day, when the sun begins its descent towards the west.

The forest is not dancing as usual, and the birds, being the reason why this mountain is called the singing mountain by their chirping, have seemingly disappeared singing no more from this cursed place under a river now red with blood. A putrid, foul smell that you can't miss is present on the scene. No bodies. Lots of blood.

"I've never seen this..."

You don't respond to his remark, but you know exactly what he is talking about. A river turned red with blood, accompanied by the smell of death, yet showing no sign of a body near the water or even in the forest you've just passed through.

Vampires kill, and abandon the corpse, having no interest in keeping the body, or if they really want a use for it, they transform the person, but in this case if, the smell of decomposing corpse and the river of blood should not be present at the scene.

"I don't like this Pero...".

He doesn't answer and just grunts before pulling out his sword and pushing you back slightly. You do the same and pull out your sword, never having doubted his ability to sense the presence of another being, other than the two of you. "It's not dark enough for it to be one," you say, watching carefully around you. "The king would never send his men out in the middle of the night," he says, passing you some silver powder. "How..."

You don't finish your sentence and freeze. Your hands tighten on the hilt of your sword, and you look into the shadows of the forest at the glowing yellow eye sockets. A man you can't make out is watching you without moving. Pero notices this too and pushes you behind him, instinctively as he does every time, even though he knows you can defend yourself, he never misses an opportunity to throw himself between you and the danger... And you will do the same for him when the opportunity arises.

"Come here!" he shouted with a smile, taunting this bloodsucking bastard, who for his part did not move a muscle. He's watching both you, and you're getting more and more worried, not understanding why he's not attacking you, as they all do. This is not a usual behaviour from them... What is going on here...

Your question evaporates as he evaporates, not approaching you, or attacking you. You tug lightly on Pero's arm, asking him to return to the horse. He didn't insist and followed you, sword in hand, running and climbing on the horses as fast as he could.

"What was that?!" you shouted at him at a gallop not far from him, who stopped dead in his tracks a few paces away from you "Pero what..." "I don't know!" he says, a growing frustration in his eyes that you know only too well, a look he gets when he is about to do something impulsive. "Pero you're not going back!" "He didn't attack us..." "That doesn't mean he won't next time! What's wrong with you?!" You say completely dumbfounded by your best friend, willing to risk his life to prove a point.

FUCK PERO!

You follow him in spite of yourself, knowing that you couldn't forgive yourself for leaving him to die alone in those woods, whether it was his choice or not.

A million thoughts go through your head as Pero is hit by something. You jump off your horse and swing your sword at a man in your path, a man who did not flinch at the shock of a galloping horse. You throw a sword at him which he quickly avoids and disappears again, but you know this kind of technique well, you have fought them all your life. You grab a dagger in your other hand and stand back-to-back with pero who has just straightened up.

"I told you we should have left," you say, more than a little frustrated by events that could have been avoided. "This is not the time." He says as he begins to fight the creature in front of you, moving far too quickly for you to anticipate any movement.

He's faster. Smarter than anything you've encountered before, and despite Pero's ability to inflict some cuts with his pure silver sword, the vampire doesn't give in. But it doesn't kill us for all that... A sentence that goes through your head thinking that it could kill you both in a few seconds if it really wanted to... No, this thing is looking for something...

You don't take any more chances and grab your powder and throw it at the thing, which is screaming in pain, looking at you with reddened eyes, sharp fangs and black veins around its eyes like you've never seen before... "PERO THE HORSES!". He thinks for half a second about killing this thing here and now, but sees the powder starting to dissipate and prefers not to risk both of you getting killed here and now... Not to risk YOUR death here and now which would ultimately be his fault...

You gallop off without looking back, not understanding what you just saw.

⊱•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •⊰

"PERO WHAT DID YOU DO THERE?!" you say as you slam the door of the house and drop your weapons on the floor "You could have gotten us both killed! You saw what that thing did!" "It didn't kill us... Why?" he says as he sits down on one of the chairs calmly, too calm for what just happened "Is that really the only thing that bothers you about what just happened Pero?!" you say as you bang on the table.

He straightens up curtly and approaches you with a dark look in his eyes, "Aren't you even asking yourself that question? Don't you want to know why he left us alive? Why didn't he kill us or just jump down our throats and kill us like they all do? ¡Miénteme! LIE TO ME?! TRY LYING TO ME!" He says, banging on the table in turn.

You don't respond, knowing he's right, but you can't help it, impulsive behaviour like that could have killed you both. "I shouldn't have gone back there I know that Paloma... But I don't understand..." he says more calmly trying to apologize in his own way. You take him in your arms, understanding that he acted in incomprehension and panic "I also wonder Pero but don't ever do that again... He was smarter... Faster... And seems to control himself in front of living people... We never had to deal with that" you say holding him tighter, also needing a little comfort, adrenaline gradually coming down.

"She's right!"

You flinch and Pero pulls his sword straight out pushing you behind him, hearing a voice coming from your kitchen. Your eyes widen as you realise that the vampire you fought a few hours ago is the man in the room...

"Your powder has no effect on me, cuties... Should you have tried the wooden stakes?" he says, leaning slowly against one of the walls in front of you. "The wooden stakes are too big, a risk. You have to get too close and we're not stupid enough for that," Pero says dryly.

Those features... A protruding jaw, puppy dog eyes that dominate a fierce rage and that aquiline nose... You turn to Pero and move from him to this man, noticing that your friend, has similar features with this creature in front of you even if his hair is longer than pero, but he doesn't seem to really care or even notice it, it's actually the least of his concerns "Why are we still alive? "He says, putting his weapon on the table behind him, understanding that this creature does not intend to kill you, that if it really wanted to, it would not have bothered to let you go and then follow you and interrupt you... Or would have simply killed you in this forest.

He took a step closer but changed his mind when he saw that Pero was keeping a hand on one of his weapons. "Because I'm not the one you're looking for" says the vampire. Pero looked at you wide-eyed and started to laugh, a dark laugh, far from being amused by the situation. "Do you hear that? Now they're coming to our house to haggle," he said, jostling you slightly, still not making you smile.

You know that side of Pero. That unstable side that loses control of itself and doesn't know how to deal with the information and emotions it receives, which are far too numerous to process quickly enough for events that are far too unfamiliar to its eyes. And you don't blame him because you yourself don't know how to deal with it all. "I'm not happy about talking to you..." you say, trying not to play on each other's nerves. "...But you haven't killed us yet, so I'll give you a minute to explain what you want from us."

He stares at you for a few seconds, examining you from head to toe, not missing the look of disgust and hatred on your face. "You're looking for my creator... And I need you to kill him" he said, staring into your eyes, a teasing smile on his face, very sure of himself, yet very serious about the words he just said "Vampires are normally very attached to their creator, I think you're setting us up" you said, crossing your arms "She can't understand that if I wanted you dead you'd have been dead long ago!

He disappeared for a few seconds and found himself next to you, making you jump up and grab tovar's sword behind you to point it at him. He stared at the blade and ran his finger over it, causing smoke to billow from his skin, like at the end of a fire. "I'm not one of the little vampires you usually fight, which makes me... superior to what you're used to..." Tovar rolled his eyes and stepped in front of you, again, instinctively offering his body as a barrier to protect you, letting the man finish, always having a thought of skewering him at any moment "... I'm not dependent on him... At least not completely. But I don't serve him like all those vermin you hunt every day, who don't know how to control themselves or even think for themselves."

He loosens his last words with a more than visible disgust, arranging his clothes and slowly walking around the table without taking his eyes off you. "I don't depend on him. I'm not attached to him in any way... At least not emotionally... Physically it's something else: I can't kill him, not with my own hands." he says, staring deeply into the wood of the table, as if he could see his own reflection there.

"And you need us for that?!" Pero laughed a dark laugh like you've never heard, now less and less amused by the situation, knowing that he could launch himself at the thing in front of you at any moment. You grab him by the arm before he does something stupid and pull him away from the vampire "We should do it Pero." He widened his eyes and reached up to your face, grabbing your cheeks, as if to check that you hadn't been bewitched. You clapped his hands and told him you were fine before continuing, "If he leads us to his master..." "HE'S NOT MY MASTER!" he shouts from across the room letting you know that he can hear anything you say.

You look at Pero and let him know you'll explain the rest later by miming dust between your fingers, as you've done since you were little, before continuing "When he leads us to his MASTER, we can at least find out where he is and kill him! That's what we've wanted for weeks, Pero."

He's not thrilled. He realizes the danger you're going to face and knows that you've already faced a lot of such danger in your life... But he's not excited. He doesn't know if he can trust the information this thing has just given him, and if he should trust it at all. He doesn't want to have to trust it, and he can see in your eyes that you don't want to either... But he also understands that you have no choice after the king's request. So he lets his gaze shift from yours to the vampire's. "Okay. We leave tomorrow morning," he says, stepping around you and approaching the vampire, a more stern look on his face than he usually wears "... But if you were foolish enough to betray us, know this..." "... That you'll kill me?" he cuts Tovar off with a laugh and moves closer to him "And I'll let you do beautiful."

You chuckle and cross your arms and squint your eyes, amused "We already don't trust you..." "I know that sweetheart" "...BUT that's no reason to lie to us" you say, raising your voice, slightly annoyed by his condescending air.

He tries to get around Tovar, who won't let him pass, and shakes his head to let him know he's definitely not going to approach you. "Believe me..." he said as he put his gaze into yours, a serious, not amused gaze "... If I tell you I'd let you do it it's simply that I'd rather it be you than him."

He nodded to you, then to Tovar, and walked towards the front door.

"Oh, and I'd rather be Max Phillips than 'that thing'," he said as he closed the door behind him, leaving you and Tovar in a state of anxiety and nervousness the likes of which you hadn't had in a long time, leaving you both that night alive to the slightest background noise, the slightest shadow passing through the thin draperies of your windows...

•

Chapter 2

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Bucky Barnes: Anywhere (Bucky x Reader )

Bucky Barnes: Anywhere 

Warning: Kinda sad, but not really. You can handle it lol.  Slight Mental Health nod. Overall just sweet reader caring for Bucky’s wellbeing

A/N: HAPPY FRIDAY !If you are reading this and supporting me I really love you🥺. Loosely edited.

Summary: Like usual, Bucky can’t sleep after a mission. You have a discussion with him about a place Steve told you about. This place has all of the advances that may help Bucky free himself from the emotional prison that is his mind. 

Word Count: 1k+

*NOT MY GIF* Don’t copy my work !

After what felt like the long  night would be internal, it felt incredible to finally wake up laying in a cozy bed. With the covers warm, the birds chirping, and a little bit of the early morning su rays beaming on your face, it felt like a good morning. But even better than that, was knowing the man you loved was laying right beside you, safe and finally at home; Except for the fact that he was not laying in bed beside you. His absents caused you to remember the events of last night, the struggles he had with possibly trying to fall asleep. You let out a heavy sigh feeling the empty space next to you. As excited as you were yesterday to finally be reunited with him, you knew things were complicated for him, and  the night was not as amazing as you hoped. In fact as much as you wanted your homecoming to be perfect everything seemed different, his cries out for help seemed more urgent. 

Only a year and a few months ago did you and Steve find Bucky, which led to the breaking free from the reigns, being a wanted man, and coming to terms with the damages with Hydra’s brainwashing. It was all a lot, and he had still been adjusting, even when you two began to get close. And as much as he’d like you to believe he was okay, you knew he was still adjusting months later. Adjusting to what exactly? You could only assume it was everything, but you mostly knew it was the task of being able to think for himself, being stuck in his own head.

With his thinking, came one track obsessions. Bucky had this overwhelming, and I mean OVERWHELMING, infatuation with taking down hydra and getting justice for what they did to him. You and Steve had many conversations about how unhealthy it had to be for him to constantly be face to face with the people who caused him so much pain. These long missions he’d gone on, probably involved him sitting and waiting to do unimaginable things. This wasn’t the best for him at his fragile state and you all had to remember that; Otherwise you wouldn't be on your toes constantly worried about him and his mental states . 

Prior to waking up to an empty bed, you had spent almost two months without him. Fast forward to last night when he came home, he was extremely tired coming in, but could never fall asleep. It killed you that his first night back in his own home, safe, in his own bed, with you in his arms, was still not as peaceful for him. It was hard to sit with the thoughts of these bounty hunts, only being that, and not being beneficial for him, whatsoever. It had always been hard to get him to open up about the “missions.”, or what he has done or even seen, for that matter. In fact it was damn near impossible, he was so stubborn. His brain was running 24/7, thinking of ways he could feel better about himself, thinking of ways he could redeem himself. And that is what you hated the most, the times where he was stuck in his own head, overthinking, driving himself insane, trying to find a reason to the madness. This hurt you tremendously , because you really hoped it would all eventually be better for him, that this last “mission” would be the problem solver, you prayed it would be, but it just seemed to never get better, there was always another goon who needed to pay him repercussions.

You stretch your arms above your head letting out a sleepy yawn as you throw back the duvet, preparing to find the dark haired man in your cozy Brooklyn apartment. You grab the throw blanket at the end of your bed wrapping it around your shoulders, heading out of the bedroom. Right as you exit out of the door, you see a glimpse of him on the brown couch in your living room. He’s laying on his back staring up at the ceiling. Silence and isolation were never his friends and, all you could do was just hope he was not laying there beating himself up over something that he either had no control of or something he could not change.

“Good morning.” You say softly walking to the end of the couch closest to you, where his feet were. “Missed you in there. Everything alright?” 

He looks over at you and smiles slightly. He looked exhausted, which led you to believe he definitely did not fall asleep.

“Sorry, yeah, everything is okay.” His voice sounded tired and raspy. “I guess it wasn’t a good night.”

He wasn’t always restless, battered, and bruised, and your relationship was not always based on saving him from himself, but it was always hard knowing what you were doing for him wasn’t enough. That the simple kisses you shared on days were he was upset, or on the long nights where you’d rub his back reassuring him that he was so much more than this unspoken pain, weren’t enough.

“Can I do anything to help?” You ask, coming closer to his spot on the couch.

“No,” He pauses for a second reaching out for your hand. “I’d like you to just come cuddle with me though.” He says opening his arms. You smile and walk over to where he was on the couch. 

“I don’t mind keeping you company.” You say with a smile as you climb on top of him, settling in and getting comfortable.

He immediately wraps his arms around you pulling you into a warm embrace. Your head is tucked underneath his chin, his slow breaths matching your own. The two of you have your fingers intertwined as his metal hand rests on the small of your back over the blanket you had brought with you. You lay there in silence, just feeling the rises and falls of each others chest. But then the silence worried you since that meant his mind could possibly be somewhere else.

“Bucky?” 

“Mmh?”

“If you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?” You ask randomly, wanting to fill the silence with anything.

“Right here.” He says softly rubbing your back. “Right here with you.”

You smile at his sweet words, but just couldn’t believe them, not because he has ever lied to you, but simply because there was always a hunt, there was always a mission, there was always a reason to be anywhere, but at home...

“Out of all the places you could be, just here would be okay?”

He pauses for a minute then nods. “Not just here, anywhere with you is alright with me. I’d always choose that over anything in the whole world.”

“If I asked you to leave with me tonight would you go?” “Yes.”

“Even to get away, —stop doing these hunts…” 

He doesn’t say anything, so you continue.

“To get away from whatever it is that’s hurting you.”

“Yes of course, in a heart beat.” He finally says, kissing the top of your head. 

Silence falls over both of you as you cuddle on the couch in your small apartment. You think for a second remembering a conversation that you had with Steve a few days ago. 

“Then let’s go somewhere, just you and me.” You speak again, testing the theory. “Steve said he knew a safe place, a place called Wakanda.” You begin to play with his fleshed fingers.

“Wakanda?” He repeated back.

“Yes, a place where you can just step away from all the madness of bringing down Hydra, just for a little bit, to get your headspace together.” 

You begin to explain how you hated to see him in these different states every time he came home from a mission and how it’s is all consuming in both of your lives. He nods at your words and sighs.

“Like I said, I’d go anywhere… as long as you’re there too.” He lets out a yawn and you nod in contentment.

Those words now put you at ease. You bring his hand to your mouth giving it a kiss, before saying, “Alright then Buck, it’s time for you to finally get some rest.” You encourage beginning to get up.

“Can we just lay here until I do?” He asked as he realized you were about to leave him, his grip tightened softly around you.

“Of course.” You say settling back into his arms.

“I know it hasn’t been easy, but I am trying, and I am willing to try anything.” He says softly.

Moments later you could hear his soft snores pick up as he finally drifted off to sleep. You hoped it was peaceful as you began drifting off too, imagining what Wakanda was like and how life changing it could possibly be for him.

-

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[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter II | Raul Mendes

                                          *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the second chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

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*Word Count: 5.2K+

*Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence/crimes, migraine due to work stress, Raul teasing the reader endlessly (for me, that’s the most important warning). Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 8th, 2021.

                                                    -*-

A week later things were back to normal. 

Sure, the night they came back, after they were checked for any injuries on the med department and were cleared, Raul dragged her back to his apartment claiming he was craving sushi and he was only ordering if she was with him. In reality, that was a way to keeping his head busy with something else so the events of that day would be coped nicely without so much suffering. And one way of doing it was keeping his girl, best friend and partner, at a close distance so he knew she’d be safe and well. 

He was extra sweet that night, making sure she had everything she needed, even agreed to put on face masks with her while watching a random movie. And she was really glad to have him near. The thought of him getting her, or worst... it just killed her a bit. But he was safe and he had his arms securely around her, and that was enough to put her on dreamland and having a great night of sleep.

Unfortunately that was not the case for Y/N today. 

Ever since Seth was back, he spent most of his time on the med bay to recover, he had to go through surgery and was finally recovering, but ever since he was back, every piece of information he had was being collected, and she was the one responsible to write it down. Most of the info he had was encoded and she was supposed to break it. Y/N’s been working nonstop for the past week, and when she had the opportunity to relax all by herself in her house, she felt restless. The main reason is that the person who had Seth was one of the most wanted man on the planet. Geonoff Reyes was capable of the vilest things without giving a second thought, and he’s been wanted for years now, and apparently Seth had the newest information of his whereabouts and new plans.

And knowing that was enough to put Y/N in restless nights of sleep, when she was even able to drift off. Most of her hours were invested on figuring out whatever she could, and several nights were only the continuation of her job during the day. And yeah, it was reckless and a bit stupid of her to sacrifice so much in a research, but Y/N knew this was a great opportunity and the biggest amount of clues they’ve ever received, she couldn’t let this all go. And she had to work fast, so Geonoff didn’t have enough time to notice some information missing or that someone outside of his limited inner circle so he wouldn’t chance anything. Or even move outside the country again, putting a massive political obstacle on their way. 

Y/N should’ve known better than to barely get any sleep in over seven days. She knew better than to barely eat or drink anything other than coffee. She knew and did it anyone. And that’s why she ended up where she was. Seven A.M. sharp on her little office on her company’s Head Quarters with a killing migraine that only got worse under the fluorescent lights. Y/N groaned softly as she basically collided on her office chair, cursing under her breath whoever thought bright white lights was a great idea. She was softly rubbing her temples when she heard a knock on her door, before someone came in without being invited, a delicious smell of coffee coming alongside the intruder. She didn’t need to look up to know Raul would be standing right in front of her desk. 

“What?” she grumbled, spinning in her chair to turn on her computer without even sparing a glance at him. 

Raul chuckled “good morning to you too, sunshine, I’m not even daring to ask how you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes and wincing at the pain the movement brought her “look, go pester someone else, I’m not in a good day”

“Yeah, that’s easy to see, gremlin, that’s why I brought you this” and a soft thud on her desk made her turn.

Raul was standing in front of her desk as she imagined, wearing his usual black outfit, a long sleeved tight turtleneck, accentuating all the muscles on his arms and back, tucked into a pair of dark grey trousers and Y/N had to hold back all her thoughts that were rather inappropriate to have on your best friend. And she wanted to be mad at how effortlessly beautiful he looked, just standing there, hands supporting his weight on the glass table as he leant forward casually to pick at her computer. He looked like a fucking runaway model at seven in the morning, his citric scent leaving her slightly intoxicated, but she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just naturally hot. 

She than darted her eyes from his body quickly to not seem as if she was ogling him, which she totally was, only to be met with a steaming cup of black coffee. She rolled her eyes on the little attempts of black hearts he drew with a sharpie alongside a poorly written ‘secret admirer’ on the disposable cup. Y/N shook her head huffing a laugh as she took it.

“Aren’t you supposed to thank me?”

Y/N arched her brow at him “what for, exactly?”

“For being the best friend you’ll ever have?!” he stated as if it was obvious “come on, you look like you need it and I swear I didn’t spike it with anything”

“You’re saying you did out of your own free will? A benevolent act?” Y/N questioned playfully inspecting the cup.

Raul scoffed feigning hurt “Of course, I’m a good guy, practically a gentleman, you gremlin, how dare you think any different?” Behind all the teasing in his voice, she could see the worry evident in his golden eyes. Raul didn’t know all the details about what she was digging into since that were her boss’s order, but he knew enough to know she was probably overworking herself and getting a bit anxious. He knew her better than anyone and there were barely any secrets between them. 

“Fine” Y/N sighed taking a sip from the coffee, and it was precisely what she liked “thank you for being a decent human being once in your lifetime”

“You are very welcome, so any news?” he asked pointing to the screens of her computer. 

“Not really, I guess I was too tired to do much last night” she said opening all the images she had collected over the past week on her five computer screens “you know basically all the important stuff I gathered, I’m also monitoring the surveillance cameras on the places he might be, trying to get a glimpse of him, but till now nothing, only this car that’s been parked here for five days now”

“Weird”

Y/N giggled to herself before closing everything again “yeah, I know”

“So, I didn’t exactly came here just for the coffee” Raul said crossing his arms across his chest, standing on his full height, his biceps popping against the fabric of his shirt. 

“Of course not, I was just waiting for you order, cap”  she said as she reached into her purse for a painkiller.

His signature smirk appeared as he beamed down at her “Don’t tempt me, doll” 

“What is it then?” she asked and before Raul could reply, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in” he managed to say before her and soon enough Raul’s copy stuck his head inside. 

“Oh hi guys” Peter said before fully walking in and closing the door behind him “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, what do you need?” Y/N said turning to face him completely. 

Seeing Peter right beside Raul just made them look a lot more different. Sure, they were triplets, but they had completely opposite personalities. While Raul looked like a super model bad boy out of every romcom, Peter looked soft and gentle. He was just as handsome, his hair a bit more messy and a pair of glasses perched on his nose, adding to the soft features. He also wore light washed jeans and a very soft looking button up, a permanent blush on his cheeks. And despite the 6’3 and big muscles, he was almost like a walking teddy bear with a golden heart, specially if you got to know him. 

“I actually have some stuff for you two to test on my lab downstairs, and I thought since I was already here I could call you two to join me”

“Oh of course” Y/N said jumping to her feet and cursing under her breath, momentarily having forgotten the excruciating migraine she was still having “now right?”

“Yeah, but only if you can”

“Sure, come on, Raul” Y/N said grabbing her cup of coffee before walking to the door.

Raul chuckled lowly before following her and his brother to the elevator “whatever you say, boss”

“Don’t give me any ideas” she mumbled before pressing the button, but as soon as the doors opened, Y/N regretted getting out of her office.

Standing on the elevator was Daphne. Daphne was one breathtakingly gorgeous woman. With bright green eyes and golden soft model like waves, always dressed nicely and with paper white teeth, and to top that, she was a great agent. But she clearly had a crush on Raul and she’s been hitting on him for a while now, but he didn’t seem to care much, which made no sense at all. And for some reason she wasn’t as friendly towards Y/N, Daphne was never directly rude, but she always made sure to look her up and down and was never her friendly self. And Y/N wasn’t one to push anyone to like her, it just made situations like this a bit more awkward. 

“Oh hello” Daphne said with a warm smile.

“Morning” Raul responded as he climbed in the elevator. 

Y/N mumbled a quick “hi” before moving to the back of it with Peter. 

Daphne turned towards Raul and gently placed her hand on his bicep “I heard about the little incident on your latest mission, are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, not even a single scratch”

“That’s great, I mean, how did it happen again? Was it a failure on the planning or watching?” she asked and Y/N almost spat the coffee she was drinking, seeing Peter send a look her way.

“It was my fault actually, the team handed it pretty well” Raul replied unceremoniously.

“Oh, I see” she said pulling her hand from his arm and nervously placing a strand of loose hair behind her ear “hm, actually there was something I wanted to ask you”

God, how long could this elevator take to arrive on the last floor.

Raul only hummed in response, turning his face to the side to watch her so Daphne proceeded “Hm, there’s this new place that opened this weekend down the street and apparently the sandwiches there are amazing, me and a few other agents were planning to have lunch there today, and I was wondering if you’d like to join”

With that he truly seemed taken aback a bit “oh, I unfortunately can’t today, I’m sorry” with that he turned back to face Y/N “that’s what I wanted to tell you earlier, we have that lunch meeting today, Shawn’s in town and he wanted to invite you to lunch with us and his friends”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot” Y/N whined, her head pounding “I don’t think I can make it today, I’m so sorry”

Raul smiled softly at her “yeah, I figured, if you get any better let me know”

“Oh you’re sick?” Daphne asked turning to her as well.

Y/N shook her head, regretting it immediately “just a bit of a migraine”

“I hope you get better soon” Daphne offered a tight lip smile and Y/N just nodded in response.   

“We’re here” Peter said for the first time “Bye, Daphne” he said getting out of the elevator pulling Y/N with him. 

“Why are you running? Slow down, you’re gonna pull my arm off” Y/N hushed it as Peter kept on with the fast pace. 

“What was that?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N then came in realization “right?! Why won’t he go out with her?”

“I think he might be just not interested at all, but I wasn’t talking about that, you know Raul can be pretty secretive about his feelings, right?” Peter asked with an archer brow, knowing look on his eyes. 

Y/N stepped into his lab alongside him “well yeah”

“I don’t know, I think I saw something there”

“Between me and Raul?!”

Peter leaned against his desk with his arms crossed “Well, more of him towards you, it’s actually something I’ve been noticing for a while”

“What are you even talking about? He’s always been like that with me” Y/N tried avoiding Peter’s gaze, afraid somehow that would give away the little spark of hope on her eyes. 

“No, I mean, yes, but I feel like that intensified a bit, just pay attention to it” he said and then looked behind her.

Y/N turned around only to be met with Raul standing at the door “sorry, got a little caught up”

“We noticed, cap, it’s okay, no important details were discussed in your absence” she said teasingly and he just rolled his eyes playfully at her. 

“Okay, I upgraded your coms a bit, so switching between channels will be easier” Peter started picking up the little earpieces up “And I also took notes about the appearance of my glasses yeah? Now would you mind approving the design of it, miss fashion icon”

Y/N laughed softly and went to check on the 3D design “thank you, I do take fashion very seriously, I only loose it to your brother”

Raul scoffed “Of course I would be involved in it somehow”

Peter laughed “come on, I need to show you this thing I want to put on your suit, Y/N can you please check the new computer I promised you?”

“Oh my, it’s ready?” She said turning to them, suddenly feeling a lot better.

“It’s on the corner right there, just feel free to explore it and adapt it to how you like it best, and then it’s yours” Peter said with a bright smile on his features as he dragged Raul away. 

Y/N sat down on the desk he pouted at, opening the super resistant protective case and being faced with a beautiful tiny computer she could use on future missions. She finished her coffee, feeling the medicine kick in as she dumped the empty cup on the trash, before sitting down in front of her new screen and starting to work on it. Y/N lost track of time as she explored the new configurations, installed the programs she used. She only noticed she’s been there for over two hours when she felt someone carefully placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up to check the time, being met with Raul standing right beside her. 

“Oh, hi” she said feeling her face warming up as he smiled softly at her. 

“Don’t spend too much time with this, you’ll have more opportunities later, sweetheart, don’t force yourself too much” he squeezed her shoulder a bit and she sighed nodding “how are you feeling?”

She looked up at him, cracking her back on the process “Better, I think the coffee helps a bit and the painkiller did a great job”

“Good, I’m guessing you still won’t be able to make it to Shawn’s crowded and noisy lunch” Raul had a little amused look in his eyes and Y/N giggled at that, shaking her head.

“Definitely not, might as well skip lunch and nap on my lunch break”

Raul nodded “It’s tempting but you need food, now how about I take you to that salad shop you like, we buy ourselves a quick to go one, eat it at your office and nao for like, forty minutes maybe? How does that sound?”

Y/N contained the urge to lunch forward and wrap him in her arms “Pretty fucking great, but what about Shawn?”

“I’ll meet him later for dinner with Peter, so he wouldn’t mind”

“Oh”

“So, are you in, doll?”

Y/N shook her head “you had me in the forty minute nap, say no more”

Raul laughed “Of course I had, know you better than anyone”

“That is unfortunately true” she mumbled grabbing the computer and getting up.

Raul stared at her quizzically “Why is that unfortunate?”

“Cause that will only feed your ever growing ego”

“You wound me, sweetheart” he said with frightened hurt, a hand clutched over his heart. 

Y/N rolled her eyes at him as they both said their goodbyes to Peter, who only threw a knowing look in her direction and a little wink when Raul wasn’t looking. She only rolled her eyes, shoving her middle finger in the air behind Raul’s back to Peter, who only laughed in response. But Raul might have felt her arm hovering his back, cause he looked down at her, throwing his charming smile down at her and throwing his arm around her shoulders as the climbed in the elevator again. 

Oh great, now Y/N had one more thing to keep her awake all night, wondering if she was crazy and Raul could be somehow interested in her and if she should do something about it. But do what? Tell him she liked him? Kissing him? Confronting someone who already has a hard time talking feelings about how he felt about her?! Only terrible scenarios played in her head with every little thing she thought about. But before she could go on spiraling, Raul gently squeezed her shoulder making Y/N look up at him. 

“Still with me, sweetheart?” he asked smirking at her and she only huffed rolling her eyes, making Raul full on laugh. 

                                                  -*-

Later that morning, they ended up following Raul’s idea. Around noon he knocked on her office again, with his leather jacket and ready to go, Y/N then just grabbed her coat and purse, ready to follow him to the elevator again. They kept a light banter, talking about conspiracy theories and random gossip, and she felt really better but was too tired to socialize with a lot of people. So they walked down the street a couple of blocks to a little shop where they bought salad bowls and iced tea “to balance things out” according to Raul about how much coffee she’s had the past week. 

They ordered to go and walked back to the HQ that looked like a very fancy business building, but instead of going back to her office, they headed to Raul’s instead. There they sat down on his couch since it was bigger as they casually had lunch, and right after, he convinced Y/N to get comfortable on the couch as he relaxed right next to her. Y/N curled into a little ball on the further corner of the couch, but he was quick to tut his tongue at her. 

“Here, sweetheart, you can lay your head on my lap and stretch your legs on the couch, yeah? And you can grab that little fluffy blanket if you want” He was quick to offer and Y/N sighed.

“Are you sure?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously “I don’t want to bother you” he chuckled softly and nodded

“Of course, we still have 50 minutes of lunch break, nap a bit, baby, come here” Raul said in such a gentle tone, almost cooing at her and how could she possibly say no to that?

She removed her boots before laying her head on his lap and pulling her legs to stretch across the rest of the couch, while she got comfy, she felt the gentle weight of the thick fluffy blanket being laid on top of her. Y/N sighed in relief as she slowly closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax, and feeling the soft caress of Raul’s fingers gently combing through her hair was only making it easier to fall asleep. And so she did. 

She dreamed of something random, she was stuck in a boat and it didn’t really make much sense, but it was better than the sleepless nights or the scary things her mind came up with. So waking up was not the best sensation, but Raul managed to make the experience less unpleasant. He was very softly coaxing her to wake up, by gently shaking her shoulder and caressing her cheek, slowly calling her name. Y/N could get used to it. 

Raul truly didn’t want to do it, he, himself, didn’t want to get up. He ended up falling asleep a few minutes in, but the timer on his phone vibrating on his hand woke him when he promised he’d wake her up. He almost didn’t have the heart to do it. Y/N looked so peaceful, the frown that’s been on her brows for the whole week was finally gone, but he knew if he didn’t wake her, she’d spend her day blaming herself and wouldn’t be able to sleep properly at night. So he cleared his throat and started calling her gently not to startle her.

Y/N started coming slowly back to her senses, slowly sitting up from Raul’s lap, rubbing at her eyes and checking her phone quickly for important notifications. A low chuckle brought her attention away from her phone and to her best friend beside her, to which she just truly looked at, being able to notice the throw pillow creases on his cheek, the soft curls of his hair a bit messier than usual.

“Hi” he mumbled softly. 

Y/N smiled at him before mumbling a “hi” in response. 

“Sleep well?” Raul asked as he stretched his arms above his head and she nodded “yeah? I ended up joining you in your nap”

“Don’t blame you, this is a really nice couch”

“Right? Unfortunately this was the first time I took full advantage of it” he chuckled as he got up from the couch, moving to turn on his computer.

Y/N just chuckled before nearly folding his blanket back in its place “well thank you for everything, you truly are a great friend, but I should probably leave and stop bothering you”

“You never bother me, and I know, I’m the best friend anyone could ever wish for” he said sitting on his chair as she leaned down to put her shoes back on. 

She just rolled her eyes at him, grabbing her stuff before getting up “there you go, ruining a perfectly sweet moment”

Raul laughed “that’s my biggest ability, doll, thought you knew that already”

“Should’ve guessed it” Y/N said as she opened his door “see you later, thanks again”

Raul just winked at her “anytime” before she closed his door and moved to her office shaking her head, but unable to hold back the smile from blossoming on her lips. 

Maybe Peter was wrong and just messing things up, how could he not notice the way Raul affected her? But saw the way he was different with her? It made no sense. And there was no time to go into the rabbit hole, she had better things to do, like spend countless hours uselessly trying to crack a code. 

                                                  -*-

In the middle of Y/N’s afternoon shift, she was able to spot Geonoff himself on one of the surveillance cameras she’s been watching incessantly for the past weeks. She basically tripped on her on shoes as she scrambled up to her computer to register the appearance, quickly sending it to her boss. They finally were sure where he was and maybe that was enough to set up a plan or something to get him. 

Geonoff Reyes was one of the most wanted man right now by intelligences from multiple countries. The man himself had a long list of crimes, that if there was an opportunity would be enough to sentence him for thousands of years. Most of Geonoff’s crimes were related to the mafia, he was one of the biggest and most dangerous bosses there was. He started fairly young, around 15 years old, but that was the extent of information everyone had on his childhood. Some liked to guess it was what kind of household he was raised to blame the way he had become what he became. 

He’s been chased for years now, and that’s why Y/N was quick to let her boss, Mrs. Benson, know she found him, compiling all the information she was able to gather this past week in files. So she did what she could and it took her around an hour to have everything printed and organized in a folder, letting Janet she was coming and basically running to the elevator to get to her office. 

The heavy metal doors opened on the waiting room outside of  her office, being met with Luca, Janet’s personal assistant, who winked at her and pointed at the door. Y/N smiled at him and knocked on the dark wooden doors, opening it silently as she heard people talking inside. Her office was decorated very minimalistic and was usually a very pristine place, but today, there were papers everywhere as Janet, Helen (Janet’s right hand), Dimitri (head of security department) and Raul Mendes stood there apparently discussing the same case. 

“Thank God you’re here, darling, please come out this madness to an end” Janet said with a gentle smile as she pointed towards the mess in her table.

Helen chuckled as Dimitri was quick to push their papers to a corner on the table. 

“Thank you” Y/N mumbled as she placed her folder down.

Raul silently move to stand right next to her, a careful hand laying on the small of her back in a comforting touch as she looked up at Janet to check if she could start. With a nod from the boss, she started pulling all the evidence she could. All the pictures, the surveillance images, the documents Seth was able to bring back and information he was able to remember as well.

With everything laid out on the table and presented to all of them, Janet ended up telling what she’d been discussing with Helen for the past two days. They both figured the best thing to do at the moment, since they didn’t have enough evidence to make an arrest for this crime and maybe this was a great opportunity to catch another people involved, not only Geonoff. The plan was basically getting new identities and keep a close eye on all of his activities, track down his moves and if possible get even more evidence. 

Raul was called because he was the best for this kind of jobs and would be a great leader to the team, Y/N was offered to join the team as well, being his partner and leading the strategic part of the plan. They were also told to pick other agents that they knew would be great for this specific operation, Janet only asking to keep it at a maximum of 5 people including them, the less people knowing, the better.

Of course both agreed and were also instructed to inform Peter so he could separate the gadgets necessary, and obviously intensify their physical training. Despite this being mostly and observant kind of mission, Geonoff was unpredictable and highly dangerous, so being well prepared and extra careful wouldn’t be a bad idea. They were both dismissed for the day and the early shift next morning, so they could rest and plan it as best as they could.

So Y/N was quick to bid her goodbyes as she placed everything neatly back on the folder and moved out of the room. As soon as she pressed the button to call the elevator, she heard the office door opening and closing again, rushed steps moving closer to her. She didn’t even need to look to know Raul was the one approaching her since his scent clouded every room he ever stepped into, she only shook her head and looked up at her right as he stood right beside her. He smirked at her with a little wink. 

“My house or yours, doll?” he asked as they climbed into the elevator. 

“Tonight?” she eyed him suspiciously as she pressed the button to her floor to grab her stuff and he leaned in to press the one to Peter’s. Y/N glanced at him and noticed he had all of his personal belongings with him. 

“Of course, I’ll even order from that Thai place you like”

Y/N giggled shaking her head “of course you will, am I supposed to spend the night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ll invite Peter too” he said with a smile.

Y/N folded her arms across her chest “I thought we were supposed to rest?”

“Oh but we will, I’ll make sure you’ll fall sleep at reasonable hours, eat properly and all that stuff, of course we’re gonna take a look at work, but just a little” he said with a knowing look.

“Fine, daddy” she added with annoyance, rolling her eyes, Raul just laughed and shook his head.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, sweetheart”

“What? Does it do something for you?” She asked looking up at him and he just shrugged as the doors opened at her floor.

“There’s only one way to find out, doll” he added with a smirk, a teasing tone evident on his voice as he leaned the weight of his body on the elevator doors to hold it for her, shoulders crossed over his broad chest, biceps flexing against the material of his shirt. 

Y/N rolled her eyes stepping out of the elevator, ignoring the heat creeping up her face and the stupid flutter on her lower stomach, turning to face him as she said “see you later, Mendes”

“See you, and oh, don’t forget your gym attire, we’re going running at 5:30 sharp tomorrow, bye bye now” he blew her a kiss as he stepped inside and the doors closed before she could add anything. 

He was definitely trying to kill her in all the ways possible, she just didn’t know which way would be the fatal blow. 

                                                    -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

@mariamuses

[timelessduet]

For Victor: 2nd Entry

I’d like to dedicate this work to @sayumiht, a co-Victor stan who made this suggestion. Hope you like it. <3

Subtle Jealousy

Victor is a serious guy. As a CEO, he exudes intimidating and powerful aura wherever he goes. You can probably say everyone fears respects him. That includes her. But it was only at first.

MC still has high respect for Victor as a boss and investor of her company but things were different now. Before, she was as intimidated and fazed to the CEO of LFG like everyone else. That maybe he was just all business and nothing else. He wouldn’t waste time on nonsensical things especially if it won’t bring him any good or benefit. But now... she doesn’t feel that gap anymore.

It‘s probably because she's the object of his hidden affections and love. At first, he was indeed annoyed and mad at her for doing things wrong or talking back to him. He couldn’t tolerate such behavior. With her though, that he changed. He tried to be more patient and accept such changes to his once constant and uneventful life.

Victor admits he suppressed his feelings for her because he had a promise to fulfill for someone in his past. Who would’ve thought that the person he searched for the longest time was her all along?

The people closest to Victor know he isn’t a vocal person. He never really tells what he’s feeling. No matter who it was. That is until he admitted all his feelings to MC after confirming she also felt the same.

He was adamant to confessing first. It wasn’t because of pride or fear of being rejected. Victor considered her side and what she’d feel if that situation was to happen. Him telling her what he truly felt which was out of his character and her being put in a tight spot. He knew of all people how kind the girl he fell in love was. If anything, she’d give a dumb face out of surprise but in the end smile.

But Victor also thought how it would be in her shoes. He wasn’t the one who’d be dealing with a confession from him. It was her. She’ll have the burden choice whether she’ll accept or reject it. And depending on her decision, she’ll have to face the corresponding repercussions. He was well aware being linked to him meant the scrutiny of the public and everyone at work.

Luckily, she felt the same and they got together. After all those years of waiting, Victor is finally with her. Although there were slight changes after being in a relationship, one thing hasn’t change: he was still unable to convey what he felt into words properly.

Victor: What are you doing? You’ve been texting on your phone for quite awhile now. Don’t even think about complaining to me that you’re feeling dizzy or your head hurts later.

MC is currently on her way to work together with Victor in his car.

MC: Almost done. I’m currently talking to Professor Lucien and asking his advice about the current program we’re doing.

Considering the field of work, Victor understood MC had to meet and talk to different people everyday. Even he had the same thing going on. But he can’t help but feel a sudden distaste upon hearing another man’s name. He kept his eyes on the road but had a change in mood instantly.

Victor: Professor Lucien? You could’ve just come to me for advice.

MC: Huh? Should I ask advice from you regarding a neuroscience topic for a show? You’re being a bit weird today, Mr. CEO. The topic is Professor Lucien’s specialty. Plus I heard from Goldman you have a very busy schedule these past few days so I wouldn’t want to bother you with such matter. It’s all taken care of. Don’t worry.

The girl explained it to him but for some reason that even he couldn’t explain, he was silently becoming more and more irritated. With the looks of it, everyone at work will be his outlet.

Victor: Can you tell me what this is?

Victor said while looking sharply at the department heads. He was already in a foul mood after what happened while going to work and as much as he didn’t want to vent his annoyance to his subordinates, they weren’t being any help.

Department head 1: Sir it’s... we’ll revise the report as soon as possible.

Department head 2: We’re very sorry about this, Sir.

Victor: As you should. Get back to work. You’re all dismissed. Send me the revised report through email by the end of the day.

This wasn’t a great day at all. Victor was used to having tons of work and meetings but today particularly, he felt stressed and fatigued.

Goldman: Sir, MC called and just informed she’d be cancelling her meeting with you today. She said there was a sudden event invitation from her alma mater that she needed to attend to.

For one, Victor didn’t believe in luck. But why did it seem like he was quite unlucky today? He pinched the bridge of his nose before asking his secretary if there were still things he needed to attend to for the day.

Goldman: The last on your schedule for the day is with Miss MC, Sir. Since she cancelled, should we have the teleconference with A Company moved this afternoon instead?

The supposed meeting with MC was business related and her giving him a report but he also considers moments like that as some time off from his busy schedule. But now...

Victor: Don’t change anything. We’ll proceed to having the teleconference as scheduled. I’ll take my leave early so have the car ready.

Goldman was surprised the CEO would leave work very early which was unlike him but he didn’t say a word and did as he was told.

Seeming as to how he’s becoming more and more restless, Victor decided to give her a call. What happened next made him feel like he’s been soaked with freezing cold water.

Gavin: Hello, you’ve called MC’s phone. This is Gavin. I’m taking the call for her since she went for the restroom and left her phone with me. What’s...

Without hearing any further, Victor ended the call. It was rude and very unlike him to do have such behavior considering his professionalism and objective way of doing things but this...

Goldman: Sir, aren’t you going to Loveland High to meet Miss MC?

Victor: Change of plans. I’m tired. Go straight home.

Victor was sure MC wasn’t doing anything unfaithful or of the likes behind his back but what was it he was feeling? It was very unpleasant and foreign to him that he just couldn’t explain.

After reaching his home, Victor did his usual routines and finally rested on the sofa. He wasn’t fond of watching television but since his girlfriend produced tv shows... he bought a tv for the living area. Opening the tv, the program on was an interview with a famous superstar.

Interviewer: I see. This is a question many of your fans are curious about. Can we know what our favorite superstar’s future dream projects are?

Kiro: I think I’ve been able to do many projects thanks to my management and fans. But now, I really really want to have a project produced by MC. MC if you’re listening lets do a program together.

So even this young superstar knows his girlfriend. At this point, he wasn’t surprised. Coming to his senses, Victor thought this was normal. She was a producer earning her own reputation in the industry. He should be happy and proud about it and yet... he can’t keep his emotions in check.

Turning off the tv, Victor let out a sigh. He was lost in thought. Why was he feeling this way? He opened his phone thoughtlessly and flashed was his wallpaper. It was a picture of him and her the day they became official.

The picture was rather candidly taken to say the least. They were both wet after what happened in the pool but because of happiness and the effect of alcohol, she insisted on taking that photo on his phone. It was a selfie of MC’s tipsy self smiling while Victor instead of looking to the camera, had a look of tenderness in his eyes directed to her. There was no doubt that was the happiest day of his life.

With all the things that happened, Victor dozed off on the couch. He woke up to a warm hand intertwined to his.

MC: Victor, you’re up. Sorry... Did I wake you?

Victor: It’s fine. I think I dozed off for a while. What time is it?

MC: It’s 9 pm. I’m sorry about suddenly cancelling our meeting earlier. That was wrong of me. I promise to make up for it by doing whatever you want!

Victor: Dummy, you’re being too loud. It’s already late.

MC: Seems like Mr. CEO is back to his usual self after a good nap on the sofa. You still looked formal while sleeping though. Just a little less intimidating? Hope your back isn’t aching. I did want to wake you and bring you to bed but you seemed so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb your precious rest.

Victor: Idiot. You were apologizing just now for cancelling a meeting and here you are now blabbering about nonsense.

MC: !

Victor: You said you’d make up for it by doing whatever I want. I want you to just listen to to me and not say anything. I’ll only say or be like this once so listen carefully. Being with you made me into a dummy. You always smile and find meaning in the simplest of things. You’re kind to the point that you’ll unknowingly be taken advantage of. You complain about gaining weight but still heartily eat my cooking. You’re most of the times scared but put on a brave face and stick to your decision until the end. You’re probably the epitome of contradiction to me in every possible way.

Before, I worried how things would be if I told you how I felt. You’d be the object of everyone’s eyes and criticisms. You’d be looked upon differently. The burden of being with me concerned me more than anything else. Who would’ve thought I worried for nothing. You were a dummy who was capable of handling herself without my help or anyone else’s.

You’re probably thinking why is Victor being very outspoken today and if it’s already the end of the world... I know what’s in an idiot’s head that’s why. I felt strange emotions today. At first I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly but I think I figured it out. You may be all the things I’ve mentioned MC but you are my equal.

You are the only person who worries me and yet assures me everything is going to be alright. You are the balance in my life I never knew I needed until now.

I’m well aware of the fact that being with me has a lot of weight in it. Still you accepted me without hesitation. I’m sure this idiot will meet people... people far better than me and be fascinated by them. They’ll show or make her realize things I may not be able to. She has so much ahead of her and that I know very well more than anyone else. All I could ever do is wait for her and be the support she needs. She’ll stumble and cry but I hope she knows by the end of the day, she has me.

MC: I’m not sure if this is what I think it is but... is this Victor’s jealous side? Hmm...

Victor: Idiot. Think whatever you like. And didn’t I say you were only suppose to listen and not say a word?

[Author’s Note]: The lines above were supposed to be part of the story but since it kinda affects the speech of our dearest CEO...

Anyways, ahhh I hope I was able to do jealous Vic justice. 😭 He isn’t one to talk his emotions so I hope it still fits his character. What’s it like seeing a jealous LFG CEO? It isn’t the usual, right? Of course, he is Victor Li after all.^^

[realcube]

sleepy haikyuu headcanons 💤

pairings: nishinoya x reader, tendō x reader, kageyama x reader

tw// swearing, violence(?), she//her reader, angst, overthinking, fluff 

Yū Nishinoya

midnight pillow fights with Noya 💓

i could leave at that but i shall elaborate 

whenever you sleepover at his house (or vice versa), every time y’all say that you are gonna pull an all-nighter and have chaotic fun

but it never works because being chaotic requires a lot of energy, so you both end up falling asleep at like 2AM-ish 🥱

the closest that y’all have gotten to an all-nighter is 5AM

anyway, it’s not a tradition - more like something that just ends up happening every time Noya is over, perhaps a curse lol

but at some time of night, you’ll say something to irk Noya and he’ll throw/hit you with a pillow 

not to intentionally start shit but just as playful ‘shut up’ sorta thing

but something about the sharp impact of the pillow just pisses you off and you instinctively launch a pillow right back at him and it’s always a bit harder than you meant for it to be  

thus, a pillow fight ensues  

Noya had always envisioned a pillow fight with a female as a playful, sensual experience 

but there was absolutely nothing playful or sensual about the way you powerbombed him and then proceeded to suffocate him with your pillow 

you would both be feistily beating each other with the pillow, the room filling with your battle cries and screams ╰（‵□′）╯

and this would only end once both of your harsh, quick hits turned sloppy and tired 

eventually, you’d both just drop unconscious during the fight and wake up in the weirdest positions 

Satori Tendō

he is the self-certified ‘worst cuddler’ (ಥ _ ಥ)

not only is he extremely sensitive to temperature, he’s also filled with too much energy to just stay in the same position with you for god knows how long 

it’s not that he didn’t like to cuddle, though. 🥺 i mean, nothing made him feel more safe than you in his arms but he was just unable to stop himself from getting restless when he did it for too long 

but there were some nights that he wasn’t as fidgety, though

most of the time, it was after a big volleyball game or a hard day at practise and he was absolutely exhausted (_　_)。゜zｚＺ

he’d literally just detours to your house to catch up like he usually does but his demeanour clearly isn’t the same when he’s worn out so you invite him in for a few minutes and he’d gladly (and gratefully) accepts 

he’d just flop down on the couch beside you, his arms just automatically finding your waist and thoughtlessly pulling you against his chest as he laid back, staring at the ceiling

he found himself muttering random things about his day when you asked him, but nothing he said seemed to be in chronological order - unless he brushed his teeth during volleyball practise, which - now that you think about it - doesn’t sound too out of character for him.

his hand found it’s way into your hair and started caressing your scalp, slowly drifting off as the little tune you hummed into his shoulder sent relaxing vibration throughout his body (￣o￣) . z Z

and this wasn’t a one-time thing either, whenever he comes to your house drained from practise, a similar chain of events always end up happening 

the only difference being that sometimes it was in your bed rather than on the couch 

Tobio Kageyama 

i feel like bb has nightmares, like frequently 🥺

i mean, if i was him i’d have nightmares too; he has so much important shit riding on his performance - it’s a miracle that this man can even sleep with how much stress he must be under 

like, he’s kinda failing school/ he doesn’t have the best grades and if he doesn’t do well on tests then his opportunity to go to camps and train volleyball could be taken 

speaking of volleyball, he probably is so stressed from being a part of a team and having people rely on him - not the mention that he clearly isn’t very good at processing his feelings considering that he expresses most negative emotion he feels towards Hinata in the form of anger   

then there is the pressure of keeping his relationships and not naturally distancing himself from the people he loves

like you, for example

he goes to bed with all these horrible thoughts in his head and whenever he tries to think positive, it  always backfires

he’ll be like ‘i’m the worst person to be around, it’s clear nobody likes me.’

then he kinda shakes it off like, ‘wait, no. don’t think that. i know that (Y/N) loves me and i love her back.’

but his mind never leaves him alone, ‘am i even sure she loves me? i mean, i act so stand-offish towards her - yeah, she probably barely tolerates me. and she was talking about hinata’s spike yesterday, she’s probably going to dump me for him.’

it was a heart-wrenching thought but what could kageyama do? 

for now, he’d just lie down beside you on your bed as you scrolled away on your phone, completely unaware that he just mentally rehearsed how he was going to react when you broke up with him

“goodnight, kags. love you.” you hummed, turning around to place a kiss on his cheeks like you always do when he sleeps over

kageyama nodded, trying to act cool and collected despite the fact he was internally nervous as hell, “night, (y/n).” he paused, trying his best to lift the corners of his lips into a kind - rather than intimidating - smile, “love you too.”

‘look, i called her by her first name - i’m so romantic.’ that was probably the nicest thing he’s thought to himself all day

with that, you both try to get some rest 

aaaannnndddddd cue the part when he wakes up in a cold sweat, shivering slightly as he looks over to you with wide eyes to reassure himself that your not gone 

his heavy breathing alerts you that he is awake so you pry one eye open to look at him, “not again, tobio.” you said wearily, forcing yourself to sit up and attempt to wrap him in a hug but he just jerked away from your touch

you sighed, “what happened?”

kageyama blinked rapidly, darting his gaze around the room before it finally landed back on you

“i- the walls- and you were almost d-” he began coughing, resulting in you immediately reaching over to your nightstand and handing him the bottle of water you had lying there

he took a few gulps before letting out a refreshed ‘ah’, his stare glued to your lips the whole time

eventually, he was able to grumble “it was nothing.” (⊙_⊙;)

upon hearing his evidently fake answer, you shoved out your bottom lip and whined, “shut up, tobio. i was obviously something; why won’t you tell me?”

“because it was nothing.” he said without missing a beat, then he proceeded to lay down so he could fall back asleep - as if this time it’d go better for him

“Kageyama!” you barked, resulting his eyes jolting back open, “You always have nightmares at my house; I’m starting to wonder if you’re scared of me or something.” 

kageyama shook his head before nonchalantly responding, “it’s the cherry blossom air freshener - maybe use vanilla or something next time.” he joked, unable to resist a smile as you playfully punched his shoulder.

you sighed, clearly not going to get an answer out of like every other time you’ve tired, so you just decided to  try fall back asleep and try reclaim the little bit of sanity you had left

“(y/n).” kageyama grumbled, wanting to make it seem like he was half-asleep but he was far from it as he pulse was still going crazy as that nightmare shook his to the core. “are you going to dump me? because if you are, now would be a good time.” 

he spoke, praying to every deity he could think of that you wouldn’t say yes - but if you did, now would be a good time as he could storm out and since it was dark outside, the streets would be deserted meaning that nobody would be there to witness the tears streaming down his cheeks as he sprinted through the night 

you rolled your eyes, “is that what this is about?” you didn’t mean for it to come off so harsh as you actually felt a great amount of sympathy for kageyama but just unable to express it in the way you desired

“stop crying.” you hissed, making kageyama quirk an eyebrow.

“I’m not crying-” he replied until suddenly, he realised that your comment was directed at yourself as you hastily buried your head into his chest and he felt something soak through the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m not going to break up with you kageyama, you stupid moron idiot!” you snapped against his shirt.

don’t ask why that nickname made kageyama’s heart flutter

“get those crazy ideas out of your head or i’ll have to take them out for you 🔪--” you could barely even finish your sentence before both you and kageyama burst out laughing

it was probably just the ambience of being cozy under a blanket with each other in a freezing cold room that reeked of cherry blossom but some how you both some how fell even harder for one another

although what you said wasn’t the most moving or motivating, your intention was clear and from then on, kageyama was a lot more upfront with you💕 

he’d tell you if he ever felt uncomfortable or if he was ever worried and you’d either make him feel better or make him laugh and then insist that he goes to talk to suga or daichi

also after that night, (and once you ditched the air freshener and started burning vanilla essence) he only had ‘sweet dreams’ whenever he stayed over at yours 

(or at least that is what he said whenever you asked him. in reality, his dreams were about volleyball and tsukishima chasing him through the mall on a velociraptor but whatever, it was a step up from the nightmares anyway. 🏃‍♂️ 🦖 )

[likeahorribledream]

The One That Got Away

Chapter 6: It Wasn't Supposed To End This Way

Summary: Things go from bad to worse between Charlie and Bucky and words are said that can never be taken back.

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: Angst

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 |

‘’Bucky. My name is Bucky.’’

Bucky taking back Charlie’s permission to use his first name meant that he had just put an end to their friendship. They both knew it, Steve knew it too. Charlie was frozen into place, unable to move. Steve got up from the couch and walked towards his best friend.

‘’Come on, Buck. Don’t be like that.’’

Bucky never looked at him. He was staring right into Charlie’s eyes, neither one of them could look away. As soon as he had said it, he regretted correcting her for using his name but what he did next was even worse, things he would never be able take back, leaving him only with regrets.

Charlie couldn’t stand to see the anger in Bucky’s eyes, it was too much for her and so she was the first to look away. Her eyes met Steve’s and she saw sadness in his. Her heart hurt in her chest, it felt like someone had taken it into their hand and had an iron grip on it, not letting it go and only squeezing it more with every moment that passed.

Bucky decided to leave, he couldn’t handle seeing her this way. Especially when he had been the cause. He turned his back on his friends and opened the door, stepping outside. Watching him leave finally gave Charlie the ability to move again, she followed right behind him like he had done earlier when she had been the one trying to run away from him. It felt like it had been hours ago when barely 30 minutes had passed since.

‘’Jam- ’’ She cut herself off. ‘’Bucky.’’ She quickly corrected herself, the sour aftertaste of the last time he had told her to call him Bucky still lingering in her mouth. ‘’Talk to me, we need to talk about this. Please.’’

She was ashamed of how whiny she sounded. She was almost begging him and if she hadn’t been so sad she would have been embarrassed beyond words.

He was glad he had his back to her because hearing her calling him Bucky hurt more than he had expected and he flinched, like he had just gotten hit. In a way, he did. Right in the heart. Waiting a few seconds to make sure he had gained his composure back, he turned around to looked at her and tried to have has little emotion showing on his face as possible.

‘’Talk about what? There’s nothing to talk about.’’

‘’I know my father has hurt you, twice now and believe me I feel incredibly guilty. I wish I could take it all back for him but I can’t. You’re one of my best friends and...’’ She stopped talking when she heard Bucky scoff at her last words.

‘’I’m your best friend?’’ He laughed dryly. ‘’We barely know each other.’’ He quirked an eyebrow, he almost looked amused. Almost.

‘’Don’t say that. We are friends. We care about each other.’’

Bucky flat out started to laugh, and it made chills run down her spine. His laugh wasn’t one of amusement. He was laughing, at her. His laugh felt like it was filled with venom.

‘’Talk for yourself. I never said I cared about you.’’ It was lie. A lie that left a sour taste in his mouth, he felt sick to his stomach but never let it showed on his face.

She was speechless. Stunned. She always thought she was pretty good at reading people, sometimes she would be wrong but could had she fooled herself into thinking he was her friend? Had she read so much into everything that she was completely wrong about the situation? No. She refused to believe it. He ate lunch with her almost every day, he hugged her all the time and when he had came over to her house he had read to her. No. She wasn’t wrong. They were friends and, although he never said it, she felt like he cared about her. As certain as she was, she was starting to feel less and less confident about it all.

‘’Listen doll, it was fun and all but there’s way too much drama.’’ He shook his head from side to side, sighing.‘’It’s not worth it. Your ‘’friendship’’ isn’t worth it.’’

Listening to him all Charlie could hear was: You’renot worth it. He didn’t say it, but he didn’t need to.

He actually madequotation marks with his fingerswhen he said friendship, as if it had been one-sided the whole time and she had just imagined it. Like their friendship had never existed, like it didn’t mean anything. Shedidn’t mean anything.

She remembered the first time he had called her doll when they first met, it had made her blush and she had trouble hiding the grin that had taken over her face but now, the nickname felt like a slap in the face. He had said it in such a condescending tone, she felt humiliated.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ She whispered, tilting her head down to hide her face.

She wasn’t going to let him see her cry. Not again. The moment she stopped looking at him, Bucky bit the inside of his cheeks so hard it drew blood, a small attempt at trying not to cry with her. He hated himself. He hated himself for being so disgustingly mean to her, for being the reason she was crying again tonight, for making her feel like she wasn’t good enough. Every bone in his body told him to go hug her, his heart was screaming at him to apologize and tell her how much she actually means to him but his head told him that he was doing the right thing by pushing her away. She had been working so hard for her future, he couldn’t be the reason it was all taken away from her. She deserved to be happy and to have everything she wanted but now he couldn’t be a part of it so he had to let her go.

He cleared his throat to keep his voice from breaking when he spoke to her for what was meant to be the last time.

‘’Don’t call me.’’

And with that, he was gone.

Once he got home he went straight to his room, not talking to anyone or acknowledging anyone he might have seen on his way there. He shut the door behind him and finally let himself cry. He felt disgusted with himself. He kept seeing Charlie’s face in his mind from when he hadtold her to not call him James anymore and when he had said he didn’t care about her.

Hewas the reason she was sad, hewasthe cause of her pain. Ironically, at the beginning of the night he had been readyto fight whoever it waswho had made her cry.

After Bucky had left, Charlie went back inside. She apologized a dozen times to Steve for ruining his night and showing up unannounced. He tried to tell her she had nothing to apologize for but she wouldn’t hear any of it. Her mind was too far gone, deep in self-hate. He told her to go home and get some rest after he hugged her and kissed her cheek. He walked with her to his front door and opened it for her.

‘’Try to get some sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.’’ He hugged her one last time before letting her go. Normally he would have walked her home, made sure she was safe but he didn’t want to set off her parents on him.

Charlie didn’t remember the last time she felt this exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. She was sitting onher bed and wondered how it had been possible for everything to go so wrong, so fast. The more she replayed the event of the last few hours in her mind, the more her mood shifted. Sadnessturned into something more.She was angry, infuriated even. She got up from her bed and started pacing in her room. She kept thinking about what had been said, what had been done to her.

She paced angrily around her room. Her face was red and hot from the adrenaline. She needed to let out some of her emotions, she felt like she was about to burst,and without a second thought, she grabbed her locket and ripped it off from her neck in one swift movement. Holding it in the palm of her hand, she looked at it. The same morning, seeingit around her neck hadmade her smile. It always brought a smile to her lipsbut that, too, had been taken away from her. Now when she looked at it, it reminded her of everything she could have had, everything she had been foolish enough to believe was a possibility. She closed her fist around it and threw it, hard, against the wall. It fell somewhere but she couldn’t see where, getting lost behind one of the shelves.It was the first timeshe had taken it off since her grandmother had given it to her. Charlie felt guilt trying to creep up inside her but she was quick to shove that feeling back down, letting anger consume her.She didn’t want to see the locketor wear it ever again.

Instead of calling, Steve felt like the situation called for some face-to-face time and showed up at her door instead. He had made them sandwiches and planned on going to the park with her to eat lunch. He knocked gently on her door, smiling with the hopes that his friend was feeling better after getting a good night sleep but when the door opened , Steve’s smile quickly disappeared. She looked... Broken.

Her eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying and she had black circles under them from the lack of sleep. She had been so sure that sleep would come easy to her because of how exhausted she was but her mind hadn’t gotten the memo; her thoughts kept racing and she hadn’t been able to sleep. She spent the entire night tossing and turning in her bed, restless.

‘’That bad, huh?’’ She scoffed.

Not even bothering to tell her parents she was leaving, she closed the door behind her and started walking with Steve. They walked in silence. She was too exhausted to talk and Steve had so much to say, so much so that he didn’t know where to start. After a while they reached the park and sat at the same table they always did. Steve got the sandwiches out of his bag, keeping one for himself and handing the other one to his friend. Charlie barely touched her lunch, she took a few bites to make Steve happy but her sandwich looked untouched, the bites so small they were barely noticeable.

‘’Look, about what happened last night I-’’

Charlie closed her eyes, flinching at the mention of last night. Her jaw clenched and when she reopened her eyes, Steve saw something in them he had never seen on her.

‘’I don’t want to talk about it.’’

‘’Char...’’

‘’I’m serious Steve. Talking about it won’t change what happened, so let’s not.’’

She crossed her arms over her chest, bringing his attention to her neck. Her skin was bare, the necklace was gone. He raised a hand to his own neck and then pointed to hers.

‘’Where’s your necklace?’’

She shrugged and looked down at the table.

‘’I don’t know.’’

Steve’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

‘’What do you mean you don’t know? You never take it off. Did the clasp break? I can help you look for it.’’ He started getting up and one of her hands flew up, grabbing the wrist closest to her. She shook her head no, and gently pulled on his wrist making him sit back down.

‘’I took it off. It’s fine. I don’t need it anymore, it lost its purpose. It’s just a piece of junk now.’’

It was not fine, not fine at all. Charlie seemed so different, almost like a completely different person. She hadn’t smiled, not even once, since he had knocked on her door, she didn’t hug him or kiss his cheek like she usually did. There was no joy, no happiness, no... hope. The optimism that always made her eyes shine was gone. Realization dawned on him, that’s what he had seen in her eyes earlier, hopelessness. She had lost a war she didn’t even know she was fighting and there was nothing she could do about it. She didn’t know who to trust anymore, her parents had hurt her in the worst possible way, she thought she had made a friend, someone that would stick around no matter what but, as it turns out, he never even liked her. She had gotten duped so easily, it was clear that she couldn’t even trust her own mind.

Steve felt powerless, he wanted to help her so badly but he couldn’t think of a single thing he could do to make things better. He had thought about offering her to move in with him but he knew that would only fix part of the problem. Charlie didn’t care about the money or the big house, she cared about her family. Even if they had hurt her, she couldn’t walk away from them and her dad had been clear that she would lose them with everything else. He wished he could make her understand that she would be better off without them but she needed to come to that conclusion herself, him pressuring her into walking away would only push her further into their arms and away from him. He could feel that she kept a distance between the two of them. He was the last thing her parents hadn’t taken away from her and that meant she still had something to lose, something that could be taken from her at any moment.

Putting everything back in his bag, Steve got up and offered Charlie his hand.

‘’Let’s get you home, you need some rest.’’

She took his hand and raised from her seat, letting go as soon as she was stable on her feet. She didn’t know who was watching and the last thing she needed was her parents’ friends telling them they saw her hand-in-hand with a man they hadn’t approved of, a man that wasn’t on the list. He wasn’t wrong, she definitely needed to get some rest. She felt so tired, like she could sleep for days and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Once again, they walked in silence. Steve gently bumped into her once in a while, letting her know he was still there. That small gesture soothed her and she slowly felt herself relax. They were almost to her house when she stopped walking, Steve stopping right after.

‘’I’ll be ok to walk the rest of the way. Thank you for lunch. I’m sorry I wasn’t really good company.’’

Before he could say anything or try to walk her the rest of the way, she turned around and left. He stayed where he was, looking at her as she disappeared behind her front door. It took everything in him to not walk up to their house and tell her father and mother how they didn’t deserve a daughter like Charlie, how disgusting they were being, how they should be ashamed.

Instead, he decided to go let out his anger on his other best friend.

Steve found himself at the Barnes’ doorstep, knocking a lot louder and quicker than he usually does. Noticing the urgency in his rhythm, it wasn’t long before Mrs. Barnes swung the door open, surprised to see the small blonde on the other side. He wasn’t who she was expecting. She’d known Steve since he was a child and he had always been so discreet and gentle, it was unlike him to knock this loudly.

‘’Steve, are you ok?’’ Surprise could clearly be heard in her voice.

‘’Hi Mrs. Barnes. Is Bucky here?’’ He avoided answering her question.

‘’He is, but we haven’t seen him since last night. He came back from hanging out with you, ran up the stairs and he hasn’t come out since. Not even to eat. I don’t know what happened last night but it must be big if I couldn’t get him to come downstairs and eat his breakfast.’’ She chuckled softly, trying to hide the worry from her tone. He was an adult after all.

‘’Do you mind if I try talking to him?’’

She simply nodded and stepped aside to let him in. Steve thanked her and walked up the stairs and stopped in front of his best friend’s door. He knocked and waited but the door stayed shut. He knocked again, determined to give him a piece of his mind.

‘’Buck, it’s me. Open the door.’’ His tone was a lot less friendly than he intended it to be but he’d apologize for that later.

He waited a few more seconds and just as he was about to try turning the doorknob, the door opened on Bucky.

Steve’s eyes opened wide in shock. Bucky looked like a mess. His hair was up in the air and going in every direction as if someone had ran their hands in his hair over and over again, which is what Bucky spent most of his night doing. His eyes were a bright pink, his bottom lip slightly swollen like he had bitten into it over and over again. All signs that he had been crying.

Seeing him in this state made Steve soften. Bucky walked back to his bed, letting his bedroom door open so that Steve could follow him. He sat on the edge of his bed, bracing himself for the lecture he was about to get from his best friend.

Steve followed Bucky inside, silently closing the door behind him and walking over to Bucky’s desk to sit on the chair next to it. Steve looked at him for a good minute, looking over at his features and seeing how exhausted he looked. Just like Charlie, it didn’t seem like he had gotten much sleep.

‘’Why?’’ Steve asked.

Bucky sighed and ran his hands through his hair yet again, messing it up even more.

‘’I-’’ He stopped, trying to find the right words. He shook his head and chewed on his bottom lip, a nervous habit he had picked up from being around Charlie so much.

‘’She was going to lose everything because of me. Just because she is my friend.’’ A sad laugh escaped his lips. ‘’Was my friend.’’ He corrected himself.

‘’Did you really have to hurt her so much? She’s a wreck, Buck. What you said...’’

Bucky felt his heart tighten in his chest.

‘’You saw her?’’

Steve nodded. ‘’We ate lunch together an hour ago. Well, I had lunch. She barely touched her food.’’

His elbows resting on his knees Bucky let his head fall to his hands, hiding his face into them. The guilt was making him nauseous. They both stayed silent for a few minutes.

When Bucky’s head snapped up, it almost made Steve jump from the sudden movement. His expression had changed, he didn’t look sad anymore. He looked... Angry.

‘’I did what I had to do, ok?’’ He got up from his bed and started pacing. ‘’Her dad didn’t want her to be anywhere near me and we both know how stubborn she is and she would have still tried to see me. I couldn’t risk her losing everything. Not because of me. I had to push her away, ok? I had to.’’

Although the explanation was directed to Steve, it seemed like Bucky was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to just defend his actions.

‘’I had to.’’ This time, it came out almost as a whisper. He looked directly into Steve’s eyes. ‘’Right?’’ He asked, the confidence from a few moments ago completely gone. Looking for validation that he hadn’t done a terrible mistake.

‘’Yes.’’ Was all Steve said, he knew that if he tried to say anything more his friend wouldn’t listen to him.

‘’I’m leaving in a few weeks, I’ll be fighting the war and she’ll have plenty of time to forget all about me and by the time I get back everything will have gone back to normal.’’

He just needed to stay as far away from her as possible and ignore the voice in his head that was screaming at him to call her and apologize for everything he had said, to say he hadn’t mean it and that of course he cared about her and of course she was his friend but he couldn’t. He, too, had to let her go. He couldn’t be selfish.

Steve spent the rest of the afternoon with Bucky in his room, trying to lighten up the mood and trying to make him feel better. He had came over with every intention to yell at Bucky but his friend had already been punishing himself enough as it is. Punishing himself with the guilt that was eating at him and by staying away from the girl he loved. Because even if Bucky hadn’t realized it yet, he was completely in love with Charlie and that had became clear for Steve the moment he saw the lengths Bucky was willing to go through to make sure Charlie had the future she wanted, the one she deserved, even if it meant that he wouldn’t get to be a part of it.

Likes, comments & reblogs are really appreciated, as if any kind of feedback. ❤️

[voiceless-terror]

The Weight of Love (TMA)

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust.

Note: This was just a little something inspired by @janekfan‘s wonderful art of Jon sleeping in all sorts of weird positions. It takes place in my ADHD Jon Adventures universe, but is totally fine as a stand alone piece! <3

Martin Blackwood was awakened once again by a knee to his side.

Look, Jonathan Sims was the love of his life. An all-around wonderful human being. Sweet, caring, intelligent, clever. A thousand other descriptors that he kept track of in a small journal (for sappy poetry that wouldn’t see the light of day). Every moment they spent together was precious to him, even when they bickered. Especially when they bickered. So, needless to say, Martin Blackwood was a very happy and lucky man. But there was just one thing he couldn’t get used to.

Jonathan Sims was incapable of staying still, even in his sleep.

It would start out fine. Jon would curl into his side, Martin would nod off, everyone comfortable and cozy. But after about an hour or so, Jon would start to move. A restless turn here, a mumble or two there. Occasionally he would grab Martin’s hand and intertwine their fingers. A kiss to his forearm, a gentle nudge to his chin. All very cute. But that was just the prologue. 

The main event came closer to midnight, when Jon thought it was suddenly appropriate to treat Martin like some sort of jungle gym. If Martin attempted to sleep on his stomach, he very quickly acquired a Jon-sized backpack. If he moved to his side, Jon would throw himself horizontally over Martin’s hip, as if to prevent him from getting up. If he slept on his back, he would wake up to a mouthful of black curls. 

It didn’t help if Martin stayed still. Jon would find a position comfortable for about thirty minutes before he started contorting into a new one, all elbows and knees. None of this could’ve been comfortable for him and it was clear he wasn’t sleeping soundly, but he woke up with seemingly no knowledge of his late-night misdeeds. Either that, or he was unwilling to acknowledge them. Martin, however, was starting to get a bit tired. 

Last night had been the final straw, with Martin waking up to Jon trying to climb him like a ladder, a knee almost knocking the wind out of him. He pulled the man back down from what looked like an almost-successful attempt at crawling up the headboard. Jon simply mumbled in response to the manhandling, attempting to curl back up in his arms. Martin groaned aloud at the adorable display, clearly a clever ruse to distract him from the task at hand: namely, making sure Jon didn’t kill him in his sleep.

“Oh no you don’t- wake up, Jon.” A small snore, then silence. Martin ran a finger down his side, a dirty trick as it was his most ticklish spot. “C’mon. Rise and shine.”

Jon squirmed, his eyes blinking open as he quickly adopted his trademark scowl, as if he was the offended party. “Hnnh. What time s’it?”

“Time for you to stop assaulting me in my sleep, that’s what.” He instantly regretted that choice in words as Jon shot back, almost flailing out of bed in an attempt to put some distance between the two of them. Martin grabbed hold of his arm with a sigh, pulling him back to safety.

“That’s- sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Martin winced. “Well, it kind of is, but-”

“I’m-I’m sorry, Martin.” Even in the dim light of the room, Martin could make out two big eyes looking at him apologetically. “What did I do?”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a very active sleeper?” Jon immediately looked down at his lap. That’s a yes. Martin moved to reassure him. “It’s very endearing, but er, not very conducive to sleeping. For me.” He reached out to rub at Jon’s back, letting him relax into the touch. “Honestly, I don’t know how you sleep that way. You’re not even that energetic when you’re awake.”

“Georgie did mention it once or twice, yes. But she ah, gave as good as she got, as it were.”

Martin shuddered at the image of the two of them, punching and kicking their way through the night. What a nightmare. Jon looked guilty and chastised and that wasn’t at all what he was aiming for. He just wanted some fucking sleep. He could move out to the couch, but it wasn’t particularly comfortable and he genuinely liked sleeping with Jon. When he’s still, and not fighting off some unseen enemy or climbing Martin like a fencepost. “Is there anything that helps? Or is this just...normal?” Jon shook his head and sighed, leaning into his side.

“I’m sorry, Martin. I’ve never really been good at this ‘resting’ business.”

“What if I wrapped you up in a blanket or something? Like a little burrito!” Martin framed it as a joke, but he was actually half-serious.

Jon gave a weak laugh. “I think I’d just roll out of it.”

“Doesn’t hurt to try!”

Turns out it did in fact hurt to try. Not forty minutes later did Jon roll out of his cocoon and off the bed, momentum carrying him almost to the wall. It would have been hilarious if it weren’t for the large bruise on his forehead and the ice pack he was now nursing as he sat on the couch, complaining.

It was still a little funny. And a bit of payback for all of the bruises he’d given Martin. But Martin was determined to find a solution to their little conundrum, and let them both get a good night’s sleep. If he was going to survive sleeping with Jon, he would need a little help.

_____

“What do you want, Blackwood?” 

Martin sighed. All things considered, this was a rather tame greeting from Melanie. “Hi, Melanie. How are you?”

She glared at him for a moment too long before opening the door fully, gesturing for him to come in. “Usual. Heard you’ve got someone keeping you up all night.” She snickered, collapsing onto the sofa with a smirk and propping her legs up on the coffee table. Martin gaped.

“How did you-”

“Jon’s been texting Georgie. And what Jon texts Georgie, Georgie tells me.” She patted the couch cushion next to her. Martin shuffled over, plopping down with a sigh. “Never thought I’d see the day where Jonathan Sims landed a hit on someone.”

“I have no idea where that strength comes from!” He bit out, happy to have someone to commiserate with. Melanie’s never complained to him about Georgie, though they aren’t really on close enough terms to confide in each other like that. “He’s completely still and then wham! Foot to the shin. How do you stand it?”

Melanie shrugged. “Georgie doesn’t do that anymore. Not since she got one of those weighted blankets from a sponsor. Sleeps like a log, she does.” Martin paused.

“Huh.”

“Yup.”

Why didn’t I think of that? He’d always considered buying one for his anxiety, though he never bit the bullet on the purchase. It seemed like a needless extravagance on his already limited budget. But it was worth it, for a decent night’s sleep. And being able to sleep in the same bed as Jon.

“We have another, if you want to try it out. They send us loads of free shit, it’s actually pretty wasteful.”

And so, armed with one incredibly heavy blanket and the hope of a restful night, Martin made his way back to their flat.

_______

“It’s got ghosts on it.”

“Cute, right?” Jon scowled.

“Look,” Martin sat down on the sofa, where Jon had been curled up for most of the day, still pouting over his head injury. “Just try it out! You might actually like it. And if you don’t...well, we’ll just try something else.” In actuality Martin wasn’t sure of any other options, but he figured he’d leave it open, try not to pressure him. “Here.”

He unfolded the blanket, large and black with tiny white ghosts on it, and held it out towards Jon enticingly. He rolled his eyes but still stretched out his legs for Martin to place it over. “Fine. If you must.”

He carefully spread it out on Jon’s legs, tucking it up around his waist. It was an adorable picture, really, Jon scowling and covered with all of those cartoonish ghosts. Martin felt him tense underneath it and he paused, ready for the inevitable failure of his experiment. “Too heavy?”

“No, it’s-” Jon shuffled around a bit, like a skittish animal trying to get its bearings. But then he melted before Martin’s eyes, leaning back on the couch with a look of utter relaxation that was so un-Jon like he had to do a double take. “Oh that’s-that’s rather nice, actually.”

Martin beamed. “So you like it?”

“I-maybe? Give me a minute.”

“Sure.” Ten minutes later he was passed out on the couch, utterly still. Like magic!

Mission accomplished.

_________

Jon dragged it into bed that night, noting with some grumpiness that the ghosts glowed in the dark. Martin thought he protested a bit too much.

“Childish nonsense. They didn’t have any others?”

“We can buy a different one, if you like.”

Jon let out a long-suffering sigh. “No, it’s...fine.”

And it was. Within twenty minutes, the two of them fell into a peaceful sleep. Jon had the occasional fidget, but was so weighed down and sleepy that it was never more than a twitch. It was the best night’s sleep Martin had in ages, and he reckoned the same for Jon.

He woke up the next morning to find Jon had once again migrated in his sleep, though only to lay himself completely on top of Martin, unmoving otherwise. He was a dead weight in addition to the blanket, but he wasn’t being actively kicked or climbed or otherwise maimed.

Now this he could work with. 

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349760

[seokmingiggles]

a confirmation.

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x female reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship, kind of a college!au?

1.78k words

No warnings.

After a long day for both of you at the end of the winter semester, the last thing you want is to be kept awake by your restless feline. Alternatively, where Jihoon is sleepy and pouty, but still loves you and the cat.

A/N: This one is loosely based on true events from my night last night/early this morning. My cat kept me awake for many hours, so I barely managed to sleep. However, I certainly didn’t have a sleepy and pouty Jihoon to keep me company. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

•• I love my girlfriend, I love my girlfriend, I love my gi-

Jihoon repeated the mantra over and over in his head. He didn't have to convince himself that he was head-over-heels in love with you (despite not always being the best at showing his affection), but it was your cat on the other side of the closed bedroom door which made him furrow his eyebrows in the—what was once peaceful—darkened room.

I love my girlfriend's cat, I love my girlfriend's cat.

But little Yuna would not seem to shut up.

Jihoon had had a long, busy and tiring day earlier, and was absolutely ready to curl up in bed with his beautiful partner at the end of the day. You were likewise also exhausted from the copious amounts of studying and preparing for your exams recently, the final one completed just earlier this afternoon. You were more than ready for some time off from school and longing to spend your break in your boyfriend's arms as his schedule also thinned out for the holidays.

It was relieving for your head to hit the pillow when you climbed into bed a few hours ago. Jihoon was already waiting for you which was an uncommon occurrence. He looked just as tired as you felt, beckoning you into his chest with open arms. You gladly complied.

"(Y/N)..." Jihoon muttered softly, nervous to wake you up.

You didn't so much as stir from your slumber.

The boy tried again, this time a little bit louder, "(Y/N)-ie? (Y/N)."

You hummed, still half-asleep and disoriented.

"Please, (Y/N), why does your cat insist now is a good time to begin screaming at the door?"

"She's our cat, you know. We picked her together," you replied, rubbing your eyes lightly as your consciousness crept in.

"She likes you more, though," the boy pouted in the darkness, "you're her favourite."

You sighed as you removed the blanket encasing you in comfortable, cozy warmth; your bare feet hitting the cool wood panels made you regret your decision instantly.

"I don't know why you couldn't have let her in if you were already awake, Ji," you pouted back at your boyfriend despite how he wasn't able to see your face in the dark as you waddled your way to the door.

Upon opening it, little Yuna, a fluffy brown and white lady, perked up from her previous position of being sprawled out on the floor and trying to fit her paws beneath the door to somehow open it herself.

"Let's go, fluffy," you ushered the cat to follow you back into Jihoon's waiting warmth.

Yet, Yuna instead began to groom herself, not caring about you or the plush bed where you invited her to rest.

You let out a sigh and made your way back to the mattress by yourself; fruitless were your efforts as the cat remained in the doorway.

"Remind me again why we thought getting a cat was a good idea?" Jihoon rhetorically asked, already knowing your answer.

"Yuna is a sweetheart!" Your answer was instant despite Yuna's uncompliant actions only moments ago. "We both liked her in the shelter. She'd already been vaccinated and spayed, and most importantly, she's adorable!" You pondered, continuing, "Some would even argue that she's cuter than you."

"Oh?" Jihoon felt a smile form on his face rather than the sulking expression he bore earlier from being so rudely awoken. "She can be cuter than me, I'm fine with that, but she's definitely not cuter than you. She can, however, be noisier than you. Especially at two in the morning."

And at two in the morning, after some giggling and shifting in each other's embrace until you were once again comfy, the two of you managed to fall back asleep. Yuna, after she possibly overheard Jihoon's complaint, managed to quiet down after you left your bedroom door ajar for her to come and go as she pleased.

That was until she had a sudden burst of energy only a few hours later. Jihoon was yet again the one to be disturbed from his precious slumber first, now feeling bad about nudging your shoulder to keep him company as he listened to the sound of Yuna scampering around the kitchen.

"Why?" the groggy boy's words were muffled by the crook of your neck where he buried his face in after you stirred. "Why tonight? Why can't she just be quiet for tonight?"

"That's not how cats work, Ji," you brought your hand to the side of Jihoon's face, stroking his temple lovingly. "Do you want me to go and hide all her toys? That may get her to stop for long enough for us to get some decent sleep."

"No, no," he began to sit up, "I'll deal with her, you got up last time. I need some water anyway." Jihoon placed a delicate kiss on your cheek before he stood up and exited the room, the gesture relaxing you almost enough to fall back asleep then and there.

"Why are you so noisy tonight, young lady? Hm?"

You heard your boyfriend's small voice from the kitchen as he spoke to Yuna. The feline gave a meow in response to his question, seemingly excited that someone else was awake at this hour.

Even though Jihoon made it a mission to act like he wasn't nearly as fond of Yuna as you so unabashedly were, you knew she had him wrapped around her paw.

The padding of Jihoon's footsteps approaching made you look up to the door, only to find him holding Yuna like he was offering you a gift. He gently placed the cat on the foot of the bed before crawling back to your side below the covers, sighing as his head hit the pillow once more.

Yuna carefully worked her way up the bed, softly purring from being held by Jihoon (which was a rare occurrence).

She found herself between your faces, sniffing the boy's brow-bone before butting her head against his.

"See, she likes you too," you grinned, beginning to pet the cat who was kneading into the duvet brought up to Jihoon's chin. "Maybe she just needs some confirmation every once in a while that you care about her."

Jihoon removed his arms from beneath the blanket to feel Yuna's soft coat. "That sounds like someone else I know."

You murmured, "Some confirmation is nice."

You didn't bother to check the time, but you were now able to see the silhouette of your boyfriend's face in the slowly rising light from the adjacent window.

"I love you, (Y/N). Much more than I show it," Jihoon paused. "I know I'm not the best at showing affection. I want to be better at it, but please, know that I do love you. You complete me. We have an apartment together; we have a cat together. I wouldn't do either of those with anyone unless I loved them unconditionally. Like how I love you."

Your eyes remained on Jihoon's face until his gaze finally met yours. You took ahold of his hand and tenderly grazed your thumb across his knuckles.

"Thank you. I love you too, Ji. You complete me."

The boy brought your intertwined hands to his mouth, placing the most gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

If there was more light in the room, you swear you'd be able to see pink dusting his cheeks at the gesture.

"Would you look at that; I think Yuna's finally calm down," Jihoon changed the subject out of courtesy to his burning face. "What time is it?"

You reluctantly removed your hand from his to roll over and check your phone. You blinked a couple of times at the numbers on the screen, about to speak when the noise of your alarm interrupted and answered the question for you.

An annoyed groan erupted from your throat as you placed your phone back on the nightstand. "It feels like we haven't gotten any sleep tonight."

"Well, it won't be the first time that's happened."

Now you were the one sporting the blush, knowing instantly about the night your boyfriend alluded to.

"You're cute when you're flustered, (Y/N)-ie. Come on, lay back down with me and Yuna." Jihoon grazed his fingers over the sleeping cat in between your bodies.

"I've never been happier to have finished my exams," you whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleeping pile of fluff. "There's no way I could be productive later with this much lack of sleep."

Jihoon hummed in agreement and finished your thought, "Let's spend the rest of the day in bed."

You carefully moved as close as you could to the boy with the cat in the way. Your legs found his beneath the blanket, "Goodnight, Ji."

"Goodnight, (Y/N). Sweet dreams, my love."

•

You found yourself waking to the smell of coffee and toast from the kitchen. The culprit was humming to himself, a gentle sound you barely heard over the sizzling of a pan.

"Oh! Good morning, (Y/N)-ie," Jihoon briefly stopped his work over the stove to kiss you upon your arrival, your face slightly puffy with sleep.

"What's all this?" You motioned to the pan with the golden bread.

Jihoon turned back to the stovetop as he spoke, "Well, I was thinking more about what you said last night, or this morning I suppose, about me giving you more confirmations, as you put it. It made me want to make you breakfast, despite it being past noon now. Here, this one's ready if you want to grab a plate," the boy slid the bread onto the dish you presented. "I hope it's okay. It's been a while since I last made French toast."

"I'm sure it tastes as good as it smells, Ji," you thanked him, putting the plate down on the counter to give your boyfriend a hug from behind as he continued cooking another slice for himself, although he stopped his movements as your arms held him close.

Jihoon beamed at your embrace, not being able to diminish the smile that broke across his features. Although he admittedly didn't get the best rest last night, he still wouldn't change a thing. You two didn't always get time to enjoy each other's company with differing schedules, especially during the semester, but last night really was a confirmation for Jihoon that he was in the right place; that all his past decisions leading up to this moment were worthwhile.

After all, he had a beautiful partner to come home to at the end of the day, and—as you would argue to be even more important—a really cute cat.

Other than a proper night’s sleep, what more could he ask for?

••

[harryhandstan]

where we belong

Yeah so..it’s been a year. A long and very frustrating year since one of the worst days of my life. This is just a continuation of You Bring Me Home and Harry helping me through the grief process of my aunt’s death. That was one of the first pieces of writing I ever shared and it was so incredibly personal to me. Thankful again to @bfharry​ for letting me include that in her fic event happening at the time. It was so good for me just to release that grief both then and now!

I also just owe a huge thank you to anyone else who has listened when I’ve talked about this or offered any sort of comfort. Your kindness in such a dark phase of my life means the world to me!!

This idea was born of the very strange urge I had to watch the movie I was watching with my sister that night we found out. I still haven’t been brave enough to watch it, but maybe someday.

Thank you to Miss Jill and Oliva (@havethetimeofyourstyles​, @bfharry​) for reading over this for me :) I appreciate you so much you’re the best!

//

“Linds? You home?”

He knows he’s later getting home than he said he’d be. But things on set don’t always go as planned so it had taken him longer than he imagined. He had tried to call to let you know, but when you didn’t answer his texts and your phone went through to voicemail for the third time, he assumed you were either out or gone to bed.

He drops his keys into the small bowl on the wooden table in the entryway, hears the clink of your set of keys against his and breathes a sigh of relief; you were here, safe. Not that you couldn’t venture out without him when he was busy, but he always feared the worst until you were back under the roof of your shared space.

He makes his way down the hallway into the kitchen, depositing the few grocery bags on the counter. When there’s still no sign of you, he works quickly to put away the few things you’d asked him to pick up on his way home, eager to be near you again. He notices a small round cake when he opens the refrigerator, and suddenly runs through the list of significant dates the two of you had accumulated over the past couple of years you’d spent together. Had he forgotten one? An anniversary of something that was important to you? Were you upset with him for forgetting, waiting somewhere for him to remember and apologize?

His hands work faster now, and when he goes to put away the grocery bags, he takes time to observe the casserole dish on the stove. He lifts the foil, sees the food untouched, and recovers it before moving through the rest of the house to find you. The open layout of the kitchen and living room allows him to quickly eliminate the couch as your hiding spot. He peeks down to see the door to the bedroom ajar, the light off but a slight flicker from the TV flashes across the walls and the tension in his chest continues to unravel the closer he gets. The box fan you insisted you couldn’t sleep without was silent, so either you hadn’t heard him call earlier, or again, you’d fallen asleep while waiting for him.

He pushes aside the guilt for being late, tries to rid himself of the thought the second it appears. He doesn’t know how many times you’d reminded him of your love and pride for him and his work. It was a mantra he repeated in his head when he was away and missing you. Your voice repeating I love you, I’m proud of you, come home to me soon no matter the length of time or distance you would be apart.

He stops before entering the bedroom, removing his shoes and making his movements as quiet as possible so he doesn’t disturb you. He glances quickly into the room, hears the faint murmurs of voices from the TV. It wasn’t an unusual sight, you hated falling asleep without him and so you often found a movie or show to try to lull yourself to sleep when the fan and other things just wouldn’t do the trick. Though the noise of a movie could never be a replacement for him, it was often enough for you to rest until he returned.

What comes next absolutely terrifies him, chills him to the bone worse than the bitter cold of the December air outside. A sob, echoing through the silence he had already adjusted to. He’s by your side in a second, almost leaping to meet you. He throws the blanket back that’s covering you, no real logic behind the action other than you must be physically hurt somehow. From the cry, he expects to see blood, an open wound, some clear injury. When all he finds is you, in his faded t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, he questions again if you were sleeping, if it’s a bad dream that caused what he had heard.

But your eyes are too wide to have been resting, your face wet with fresh tears, new ones still streaming rapidly out of the corners of your eyes and down your cheeks. His heart is racing, fear laced in his voice when he kneels next to you, “S’a matter? Are you hurt?”

All you can do is wrap yourself around him, arms clinging to his neck. He tries to loosen your grip, pull you back so he can study your face, but you only clutch tighter. The panic is evident when he speaks again, “Lovie, you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

You do your best to calm yourself, finally able to form words through shaky breaths, “It’s been a year, Harry.”

He frantically searches his thoughts again. A year? He tries to remember what tragic anniversary would have you this upset. That’s when he tunes in to the movie behind him, strains his ears to hear and tries to determine when he heard it last and how it could relate. It’s faintly familiar, but the tone is too light to be the only reason you’re this unsettled. 

Suddenly it hits him. How could he have abandoned a date from his head this important to you? He silently curses himself for even thinking of leaving you alone for a second today. Hates himself for ignoring the signs of your grief from the past week; the restless nights, your unusually quiet moods around him, the way you had melted into any sort of touch he offered. It was your way of seeking comfort without verbally requesting it. 

You’ve relaxed your arms enough now that he can create some space between you, just enough that he can visualize the sorrow set upon your normally joyful spirit. His voice is mixed with his own agony when he tells you, “I’m sorry. Love you so much, baby. Should’ve never left you today.”

You shush him, a gentle sign you’re not upset with him for overlooking the importance of this day. He can’t help but embrace you firmer, wishing he could absorb even a fraction of your painful heartache. He would take it all from you in an instant if he could.

The cake (which he now recalls was her favorite), the movie (he now realizes the two of you were watching the very same night a year before), this date. All reminders of what would always be one of the darkest days of your existence. 

The day your aunt had left the world too soon. The day you found out you would never see her beaming smile or hear her laugh or share a meal or create another cherished memory with her.

//

“Did you talk to your family today?”

“Yeah, FaceTimed my sister for a bit. Called my mom too, and my Nanna and Aunt Donna. It was nice to talk to them about her, share some stories.” He’s laying with you now, you curled against his side. The movie is still playing, set on a low volume, neither one of you paying much attention to it.

His eyes are closed but you know he’s still awake and listening by the way his hand rests on your back, occasionally working over that spot to soothe you as you talk, “But then I was alone and started thinking about that cake that she always loved. You were gone so I just walked to the bakery on the corner, not really expecting them to have it, but they did. Only one left and I started crying when I saw it in the case. Scared the poor cashier, but she was so sweet to me when I told her it reminded me of my aunt.”

“Then I came home and started thinking about that night I found out, how I was here with you and the movie we were watching. I don’t know if she had ever even seen it but..I wanted to connect with her somehow. It just made me more sad though, pulled me right back to that moment a year ago when I found out.”

“You could’ve waited for me. I would’ve watched it with you so you didn’t have to do it alone. Would’ve sent someone to pick up the cake too so you didn’t have to. Or sent a car to pick you up and bring you to set with me, s’always nice to have you there.” 

“I know. I just didn’t want to be a downer on your day. I wanted to be strong enough to get through by myself until you came home.” Tears are falling again, but you’re more in control of them now, they pool underneath where your cheek is smushed against his chest, “I miss her so much, Harry. It’s too much some days and I don’t know if it’ll ever get easier.”

“You could never be a downer to me, angel. Just because today was a little harder doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. It will get easier. You’ll always miss her, but it won’t always hurt so bad. It’ll take time to heal enough to find that balance between grief and happiness for the things that remind you of her. You’ll get to a point where you smile when you see her favorite things,” You press your face into his side, the fabric of his shirt is soft and comforting on your face, which you’re sure is red by now from crying so much throughout the day, “Will you look at me, please, love?”

When you do, he reaches to pull your hair back away from your face so that he can see it more clearly. He swipes a thumb along the top of your cheek, doing what he can to smooth away tears that have collected there, “I know how hard this year has been for you, but I also know without a doubt that she would be so proud of you, just like I am.”

“I wouldn’t have made it through a second of it without you, H. I’m only so strong because I had you to help me.”

“Maybe, but I won’t take credit for all of it, I can’t.” Your lips are dry and rough against his soft ones, but he doesn’t care, traps them gently to his once before gracing your cheek with another one.

“Saw you made dinner earlier. You weren’t hungry?”

“Not really, just needed something to keep me busy for the evening. I got too upset once I got it all done though.” You’re tracing patterns on the inside of the hand he’s offered you, knowing it’s one of your comforts, “Made that pasta you like, with garlic bread from the bakery.”

“Mhm, sounds good. With that homemade sauce you make?”

You snort, followed by a laugh at his adorably confused expression, “I’m flattered you like it so much, but it’s clearly not homemade, babe.”

“Really? This whole time you let me believe it was your own recipe?” 

“I thought you knew! You’ve literally been at the store with me when I’ve bought it. Several times, in fact. Probably even paid for it a few of those times too.”

“I feel so betrayed.” His bottom lip pokes out, a charmingly cute expression of disappointment. 

“I’m sorry. Think you can forgive me?” You're sitting up now, looking down at him. His hand is still settled in yours, and you squeeze his fingers, prompting him to look at you.

“Maybe. Definitely helps you got my favorite bread t’go with it.”

All the talk of food has your appetite returning quickly, and by the low grumble your stomach makes, it’s back in full force. If it were anyone else but Harry you were with, your cheeks would have flushed pink, but instead you just giggle.

“S’nice to hear that again, love. The laugh. Missed it, and the smile too. S’one of my favorite sights, seeing you so happy.”

“I’d be happier if we were eating pasta and garlic bread.”

“Me too.” 

The food is long cold by now, but the two of you work together to reheat everything. The smell envelops you both, chasing away the frosty chill December seemed to always bring. Harry’s already seated as you make your way to the table with your plate, and he shakes his head when you reach to pull the chair out to sit next to him. He takes your plate and sits it beside his own, tugging your wrist to guide you into his lap.

It’s the most normal, natural thing to him, to have you so close. He loops an arm behind your back to hold you securely there, “Saved you a seat with me instead, baby.”

You don’t suppress the blush now, can’t stop it from blooming scarlet across your face. He lifts his fork, gathering a bite you expect him to fill his own mouth with. Instead he brings it to yours, a beaming grin when you bend to accept it.

“What are you doing? Harry, I can feed myself. I’m not a child.” You drape one arm around his shoulders to steady yourself.

“‘Course you can, just missed you today. Wanna make it up to you that we spent the day apart,” He stuffs the second bite into his mouth before pointing his fork at you, “And y’coming with me tomorrow, won’t have m’girl sitting here bored and alone in this cold house. I’ll treat ya to dinner at that little Mexican place you love. Or if you’d rather have somethin’ else..”

You wrap your arms around him for the second time that evening, surprising him, making his fork clatter to his plate when he drops it to wrap his other arm around you, temporarily forgetting the meal to hug you back. You’re content to just let him hold you for a minute, relaxing your body to conform to his. Your chin rests on his shoulder and you finally turn your head to kiss his neck before letting go to cup his face with both of your hands. 

You kiss him..once, twice, and on the third one he’s smiling, an amused smirk crossing his face before he asks, “What s’all this for, lovie?”

“I love you, Harry, more than you’ll ever know.”

“I love you too, peach.”

Maybe there was a wound, not visible, that may never fully heal, but made significantly smaller by this man who you’re certain loved you more than anyone ever had. The man who kissed you a fourth time before feeding you a bite of garlic bread and reluctantly letting you transfer yourself from his lap to the chair next to him. He doesn’t even flinch when you prop your feet in his lap, just grins down at the mismatched socks covering your feet. 

The grin widens when he realizes they’re his socks keeping your toes warm. Loves that after a year of grief and distress, you remember exactly where you belong.