#thinking about who will survive who won't etc etc

[stay-xen]

Project: Eden's Garden

since i've seen several people post their opinions regarding the new danganronpa fangame's cast, why not join in since i finished the prologue?

spoilers for the prologue and predictions up ahead!

Damon Maitsu First of all, making the protagonist the ultimate debater is a really clever idea to make him lead the trials. also he's such a dick. i love him. he reminds me of early chapters byakuya and i want him to realise that he needs to trust the others to stay alive. very interesting approach for a protagonist imo

Eva Tsunaka My girl, i already love her. i feel like she'll make a grat 'rival' character, especially with her talent and animal motif. although wolfie might be the rival? not sure about it yet. i do believe that she will be alive for a while, maybe even sacrificing herself for the group in the end

Desmond Hall I trust him with my life. He has a SHARK motif, of course i'm going to trust him. he seems like such a good boy so i assume that he will become a victim sooner or later. if he ends up being a blackened i WILL cry

Eloise Taulner I am going to protect her with everything i have. very shy and anxious, i assume she will find strength eventually and become more confident, possible after losing somebody close to her? swan motif is very sweet for her :c

Toshiko Kayura My daughter is definitely compensating for being young, trying to be more mature than she is. i adore her getting flustered when called out, i hope that she will survive. she's a baby so pleaaase

Wenona step on me. i don't trust her, at all. she seems like a mirror for Damon, so my current guess is that she might become a blackened (or victim, either way i think it might involve cassidy)

Ulysses Wilhelm My useless son, i love him. he's so smart yet so dumb. please stay safe. current guess is first victim, sadly. idk he hasn't really done much yet :C

Mark Berskii I ADORE HIM i love his design and his attitude. "call the fire brigade, Grace" hasn't left my mind yet. such a simple line, yet i love him. strong connection to Jet already, i assume Mark will be a survivor that gets drive after Jet dies?

Diana Venicia Oh i wish i could trust you, love. something about her talent having to do with make up (covering up/identies, etc) and the chameleon motiv really makes me worry about her. i don't think she's the mastermind, but i believe she might be a blackened. maybe first chapter even?

Wolfang Akire i do not trust you but i will forgive you everything you do. this man has me in a chokehold and i'm not complaining. there's something about him being a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' i KNOW it and i can't wait to see it. his extreme sense of justice in the mock class trial was very interesting to see and i assume it will only be more extreme in actual trials. potential rival, i fear he will not survive. maybe a blackened, having to go against his principals for a certain motive? he's so polite though, especially to Eloise :c

Kai Monteago My fail son, my wet paper back, my beautiful butterfly. i saw him and fell in love, i can't wait to see more of this idiot. although i hope for character development, my current feeling is that he is going to die :c yet at the same time i can see him be a survivor (like hiro, souda being the clueless one, although i know they're not following the usual scheme)

Jett Dawson I've had this wolf for like 4 hours but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone in this academy and then myself. SO precious, SO dumb, i can't wait to see him get closer to Mark and ultimately get my heart broken. Current guess: victim

Ingrid Grimwall awooga. strong woman yes. on a serious note, i like that she's rather feminine and still strong, but i haven't seen enough of her yet to form a proper opinion :c could see it go either way with her tbh

Grace Madison soybean. i adore her, she doesn't have a single braincell and is currently trying to steal Wolfgang's. a real one for trying to fight back AND being able to actually get the jump on Tozu. No high hopes for survival though ngl :c

Jean Delamer If he ends up being a blackened, i'll be sad. he seems like such a nice guy, very safe, very brrr. also a whole ass dragon motif??? how cool is that??? he really feels like a safe space for the group, both mentally and physically so i hope we get to see a lot of him!

Cassidy Amber The only valid rich person. LOVE the spiderweb clothes. wouldn't be surprised if she kills Wenona or dies trying lmao. not the smartest tool in the shed but i love gaming references so i'm more than happy. it IS a stepladder.

Tozu Why is he hot. he's not supposed to be hot i hate it here (/s). didn't expect him to look like this but i am more than happy with the design. please show me more of him

Mara WHO ARE YOU i wanna see you more and talk to her and aaaaa she's mysterious OwO

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Maomao's Dislike of Jinshi

So I've been watching Apothecary Diaries and I think people are missing out on the root cause of why Maomao doesn't like Jinshi's interactions with her. It's not because he's too pretty, of high standing, or because she thinks he's annoying/etc., as they're just parts that make up the actual root cause. It's because she knows he's being fake.

Jinshi, because of who he is, where he lives, and how he was raised, covers up his true intentions almost constantly. That was how he trapped Maomao and singled her out as the one who warned Concubine Gyokuyou, after all. The premise to get all the servants in the room, the note telling her to stay put, and making her come with him without telling her where they were going? He let her worry that she was in trouble, so to keep her off-balance when he introduced her to Gyokuyou and also had kept her note to keep her pinned in a corner so she would have to comply with what he and Gyokuyou wanted.

Maomao prefers working with honest people. It's why she never wanted to ascend into the ranks where court politics were a constant presence, because in court politics, you have to assume most people are lying to you on some level. That's why she likes Gyokuyou; Gyokuyou has a similar mentality about the importance of honesty in the people around her and she reciprocates that honesty with the select people she lets her walls down around. When Jinshi is flirting or being super sweet to someone, Maomao knows he's often not being sincere, so when he flirts or acts all sweet with her, she's not going to believe in the sincerity of it because it's dangerous for her if he's not being sincere.

In Maomao's world, a man who makes false promises will not have severe consequences for his actions, unlike the women who fall for them. Growing up where she did and doing the work she did, Maomao knows exactly what kind of damage someone else's lies can bring to someone else who got caught in them. Maomao is not blind to the ugly truths of the world around her, unlike many her age, so interacting with Jinshi, someone who is usually some level of false in almost every encounter with her, is frustrating to her and he won't leave her alone. Lies are a form of poison themselves as they deteriorate a person's life and relationships and if not caught, can lead someone to their death or a fate akin to death, but unlike physical toxins, Maomao can't fix any damage from that kind of societal poison. As someone who wants a lowkey and unremarkable life because it's more peaceful, Jinshi could damage her goals with his falsehoods if she falls for any of them.

And we see that when Jinshi is actually honest about himself and his feelings with her, she treats him better. When he gives her his hairpin, when he's hugging her and crying because of what happened with Ah-Duo, and when he's at the Verdigris House, drowning his sorrows over letting Maomao go from the Rear Palace, Maomao is kinder to him and doesn't look at him with the immediate disdain and suspicion she often throws his way. Maomao even states she prefers the Jinshi, who is more childlike and bratty, which is something we see Gaoshun constantly discourage when Jinshi has those moments where his mask breaks. But in those moments, he's being honest.

For the position of Maomao's love interest, Jinshi's already got one foot ahead of any other guy around Maomao, as he is willing to let Maomao have more freedom in her special interests and gives her things and access to areas that play into her interests, like her dad does, which is more than most men in her society would ever allow. The only reason he actively goes against her toying with poison is he knows exactly what she's going to do with the poisons. But his main hinderance to getting Maomao to like him back is the training of being two-faced that's been ingrained into him for his survival in court. If he was more honest with her, rather than hiding himself under the veneer of a pretty man who is sweet, gets along with everyone, and keeps his knowledge close to the chest, he'd do so much better in earning Maomao's respect and affection.

[tarotwithavi]

The type of lover you deserve

How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.

Masterlist

Paid services

Pile 1

Omg pile one I love your energy! So first things first you deserve someone who matches your energy. Like someone who understands you without even saying anything. Someone who can just look into your eyes and feel the depths of your heart. Someone who can protect and cherish your innocence. You're naive pile 1. You trust people easily and sometimes this leads you to people using you for their profit. You deserve someone who can protect you, someone who can cherish your innocence. Someone who won't taint your pure and sweet heart. Someone who won't tell you to change and be someone you're not. You deserve someone who won't tell you that you're too kind for this world and that you need to change yourself in order to survive. You deserve someone who'll let you be innocent and sweet. You deserve someone who'll be proud to have you in their life. You deserve someone who'll be sure about yourself. Someone who's ready to wife/husband you up without any doubt. You deserve someone who'll make your feel confident. I see that some of you may have daddy issues so you instantly like people who give off mature and responsible vibes. You deserve someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets. Someone who won't judge you for liking things that you like, dressing the way you want to etc. you deserve someone who'll teach you new things without making you feel stupid. Someone who'll be patient with you. You deserve someone who knows how to handle their emotions, especially Anger because I see that you may have some kind of trauma revolving anger issues or people shouting and things breaking. I see that you guys had to grow up early, you had to be mature beyond your age, sometimes you feel like you missed out on so many things. So you deserve someone with whom your inner child can feel protected, secure and happy. You deserve someone who can give you the love you never got as a child. You guys could be born in June, March, November or August or these could be significant months for you.

Masterlist

Pile 2

Welcome pile 2! The first message I'm getting is that someone of you could practice witchcraft or you could be interested in the occult. You could be interested in conspiracy theories or things that people do not talk about so openly. I also see that you could give off intimidating vibes. So you deserve someone who doesn't get scared easily. You deserve someone who has similar interests as you, probably someone with whom you can do witchy stuff. Pile 2 you deserve someone who understands your magic. Someone who believes in magic. Someone who is not too practical or logical like that type of practical person who doesn't believe in magik. Someone who can think outside the box. You deserve someone who learns, grows and adapts with time. You do not deserve someone who lives like an NPC. You deserve someone who matches your uniqueness, someone who is not afraid to let themselves shine. You deserve someone with whom you can travel to different places. I see that you are someone who likes taking risks so you deserve someone who has the same adventurous soul. You deserve someone who matches your freaky energy 😜 I see that you have a lot of stamina and deserve someone who matches your energy in bed. You're absolutely magical so you deserve someone who can handle your otherworldly energy. You deserve someone who can make your every wish come true. You deserve someone who is willing to put in the effort to be with you. You deserve someone who can offer you something in return. I see that you have been the type of person who does more than needed for others so you deserve someone who can spend money on you and spend time with you. You deserve someone who can show you how lovely it is to love and be loved. I also see that you deserve someone who can handle pain for some reason? Idk you deserve someone who won't feel pity for your backstory. You deserve someone who won't look at you with sympathy, instead you deserve someone who can challenge you because you love challenges. You could be an Earth or water sign, especially cancer, Pisces, Virgo and Capricorn.

Masterlist

Pile 3

Whatsup! Pile 3! The first message I am picking upon is that you deserve someone who is willing to fight for your attention. you deserve someone who is ready to fight for your relationship. You deserve someone who does not give up easily. I see that sometimes you can be hard to love because you are always evolving, you are always changing, you are not the person you were a few months ago and some people cannot keep up with it. So you deserve someone who can keep up with your transformations, someone who will not stop loving you just because you have changed. You deserve someone who loves you for your soul, who loves you for your true self. you deserve someone who is willing to make things work. you deserve someone who wants stable long term commitment. you do not deserve somebody who is just looking for casual dating. I'm also picking up on the message that you deserve someone who treats you like a Queen. you deserve someone who gives you princess treatment and if your person is not willing to give you princess treatment then they might not be the one for you. You deserve someone who takes up on the traditional image of their gender, someone who is willing to provide and protect. I see that you romanticize old love, you romanticize when people used to write letters, were patient, and were ready to love. Another message I'm getting is that you deserve someone who treats your body like a temple, who worships your body. Someone who worships the ground you walk. Someone who puts you on a pedestal. You absolutely deserve to be treated like a queen. And let me make one thing clear: you'll only receive this treatment when you're willing to treat your person like a king. You deserve someone who is willing to learn new things for you, you deserve someone who is willing to change their perspective about things. You deserve someone who is also evolving and changing so you guys can keep up with each other.

Masterlist

Pile 4

This is definitely my crazy pile 🤣 Hello pile 4! Welcome to your reading! You deserve someone who matches your weird energy like someone who is willing to be strange, loud and crazy with you. You deserve someone who is open and wholesome. I see that you do not give a buck about what people say and you just want to be your true self. You love spreading happiness and kindness. I am hearing “ she likes to give a smile to every stranger” . You should listen to “she's crazy but she's mine” . You're a walking representation of this song. You deserve someone who won't feel awkward by your energy, you deserve someone who does not feel threatened by the attention you attract. I see that you have a really unique energy that attracts a lot of attention wherever you go. You could be sitting there reading your book and people would still be looking at you like you are a star so you deserve somebody who does not feel insecure about the attention you attract. You deserve someone who is confident, you deserve someone who won't make you dim your light. You deserve someone who is just as crazy as you are , you deserve somebody who can match your vibe. Another message I'm getting is that you deserve somebody who is kind and humble because you are someone who likes spreading love around and you are someone who likes helping people. You do not like dishonest and ungrateful people. You deserve someone with whom you can help others. You deserve someone who is just as passionate about life as you are. You deserve an optimistic person. I see that you have gone through a lot of betrayals but you still choose to believe in love and happiness. You deserve an emotionally mature person, you deserve someone who feels their emotion and does not sabotage themselves. You deserve someone who loves children who loves working with children and animals. I see that you will be doing charity work with your future partner. You deserve someone who is interested in space, dinosaurs and random facts.

Masterlist

[cyberjam]

ATSV HEADCANON: the spiders as yanderes . . . ☆

warnings - usual yandere themes, use of (bug) pet names like ladybug, no use of y/n or reader, stalking, manipulation, paranoia, a hint of kidnapping, a suggestion of stockholm syndrome, not proof read etc...

word count - 814

i was sleep-deprived while writing this request, so i apologize for any errors or mistakes, enjoy :)

main masterlist <33

MILES - the delusional yandere.

Miles would be so deeply in-love with you that there wasn't much you could possibly do to get him away from you. You could kick and scream at the top of your lungs and he'd just laugh to himself thinking you wanted to play fight. He would go to the ends of the earth for you and he assumes you would do the same for him as well. You could tell him how much you hated his guts and he'd simply take it as you being a bit cranky and in need of a nap. There wasn't a single thing in this world that could make him think you hated him, and once you found out he was Spider-man, that tiny bit of assurance that you were safe was completely washed away and you no-longer felt secure in the city that was supposedly protected.

"you're shaking, bug..don't worry your friendly neighborhood spider-man is here."

GWEN - the overprotective yandere.

You were just a sweet quiet kid. You sat in the back of the class, constantly in your own world. You didn't disturb anyone, always got your work done, and simply just tried to make yourself invisible to the best of your abilities. But It didn't take long for gwen to take notice of you. (you did share multiple classes together..) gwen took pity on you for some time, you were so quiet and innocent...so weak. How could someone like you survive in this world without her? It didn't take long for gwen to take on an aggressively protective role over you. She just knew deep down in her heart that people were gonna walk all over you and she had to be the one to stop them before they reached you. You don't need to be involved with the filth of the world, you need to be with her. So, once she takes you please don't be mad, she only wants what's best for you.

"i finally got you in my arms, ladybug..shh, don't worry i'm not doing this to hurt you, i just wanna protect you."

PAVITR - the clingy yandere.

Pavitr becomes so emotionally attached to you that he truly believes a second without you by his side would shatter him completely. It was rough for him in the beginning, not being able to hold you, smother you in kisses, and talk your ear off about his endless amounts of love for you. But once you two became well acquainted enough to his liking, he won't hold back at all. Pavitr will always be able to slip in his obsession with you in any conversation you two have, always going a bit overboard when he mentions how the reason he's able to live and be the best version of himself is because of your very existence. He gets overwhelmed when you're not close by, it worries him when he doesn't know what you're doing 24/7. What if you're talking to someone else? Laughing at someone else's joke? Surely whoever you're talking to isn't as amazing as Pavitr and If you can't see that he'll just have to show you.

"being away from you causes too much pain, jalebi...we were meant to be one."

HOBIE - the manipulative yandere.

Hobie will make you feel like you can't live without him. That you need him for absolutely everything, wether it be running to the store, picking out an outfit for the day, or even eating food on your own. He will break you emotionally until you're fully dependent on him and feel absolutely useless. He wants you to ask him for everything, he wants to hear the sweet sound of your voice calling his name for help, He needs to hear you say that you need him. Because you do, don't you?

" I don' know why you continue to fight my affection, darling. I'm the only one who's gonna love you the way you need to be loved. Why don't you get that? "

MIGUEL - the possessive yandere.

Miguel wants to be wanted by you. He wants you to be so dependent on him that the only words that ever slip past your lips are silent pleas for his help. He wants you to cling to him and whine at the absence of his presence. He wants you to be fully dependent on him. Any ounce of freedom you used to have before you met him is completely stripped away. Whenever he feels as if you're being independent or going about your day without acknowledging him, he gets extremely upset. You are his and his only so he will not hesitate to remove family and friends from your life if he has to, because in reality you don't really need anyone but him, right?

"tsk. this is why you should always come to me for help, it's what i'm here for, baby."

maybe i'll make a more descriptive one in the future, who knows...until then, send me some requests :)

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated <33

[situationalirony13]

spoiler warning for monkey man?

i'm probably never going to be able to stop talking about monkey man but let's just start with the ending.

Characters who can't outlive their narrative destroy me. But here's the thing – I think traditionally we do a poor job conveying the point of the trope. It'll read more like this character, who's only ever wanted to accomplish one thing, dies immediately after they accomplish it – and what's left is a story with a character-sized hole in it. It feels mostly like despair and hopelessness because it feels like the character never got to experience peace. The character, so wrapped up in anger, fear, sadness, etc – never experiences just being on the other side of this chasm they built for themselves.

There's a critical difference between characters who can't outlive their narrative and characters who won't. Characters who won't outlive their narrative can still have dreams, plans – the heartbreak is real because they saw a life for themselves on the other side and they'll never get to experience it. But most of the time we treat characters who can't outlive their narrative in the same way, and filmmakers trust that we as the audience suspend our disbelief and hope for the characters to have an epilogue.

Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel never had plans for what's next. We saw barely-there flashes of who he must be outside of his avenging mission, enough to cobble together this idea that yes, he deserves so much more. But it was evident from the first second of this film that there was nothing waiting for him on the other side. Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel could have never survived the narrative. There was no reality of an after for him after he avenged his mother – no practical way for him to build a new life. But in those last seconds, when he turned to the mural depicting the carnage of Hanuman and he had the far-away thought that it was over, we saw Dev Patel channel this relief in this doomed character.

We as an audience exhale with the character, we feel the release from his duty the same way he does.

He falls, the camera follows his center of gravity, and the screen cuts to black. The narrative begins and ends with him. He begins and ends with this narrative.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

One thing that has been bothering me a lot over the past few days is seeing all these RIP YOI, RIP IceAdo, Remember YOI etc. posts. As someone who discovered YOI later, I'm watching this unfold from the sidelines and I'm seriously worrying what this is going to do to the fandom. I understand that you are sad because the movie was cancelled, everyone has the right to be sad about such a thing, and I'm not trying to invalidate your pain. But, and I'm saying this with all kindness and my best intentions, and hell, I'm not even the first one saying this, but please hear me out:

YOI IS NOT DEAD.

It did not die last Friday. And it doesn't die because there won't be a movie. No story in human history has ever died because someone decided it was over. Stories are forever. They live in the hearts of the people. And so has YOI been living in the hearts of its fans since October 6th 2016, and will continue to live there for as long as we want.

Whenever I type "Yuri On Ice" into the search field of any social network, web archive, or search engine, I see hundreds of thousands of hits, most of them fanworks. Please take a moment to think about what that means:

In the 7.5 years since YOI aired, fans have made tons of art, written fanfiction and metas, cosplayed YOI characters, created fan videos, crafted all kinds of fan-made merch, and so much more. You are the ones who brought into being an infinite multiverse centred around an anime that is already larger than life. You have already created so much more YOI than Sayo, Kubo, MAPPA etc. could ever create even if they made one hundred movies. And even if every country in the world turns fascist and bans YOI, it will survive because fans will always find ways to preserve it and the power its message holds. Only stories that nobody no longer talks and cares about fade in oblivion.

You hold all the power to keep YOI alive, but, and this is probably the hardest pill to swallow, that also makes you the only ones who are able to kill YOI - be it by stopping to create or talk about it, or by shouting its death from the rooftops because you fancy yourself dramatic, or by turning the fandom into a hate-infested toxic hellscape, whichever will occur first.

And I honestly don't know which of these I fear most.

If you truly love YOI, please do your share and continue to keep it alive.

[gffa]

I have a lot of thoughts about the Watcher move and I get why they did it. I've kind of half-suspected something like this would happen, because I don't think their current business model is growing enough to make it profitable for them to keep the staff they have, not with the kind of videos they put out and they've been clear that they want this to be their livelihood and a genuine production studio. But the big production videos like this just cannot survive on YouTube, unless you're like Mr. Beast or a very few other creators. And the reason big production companies like Mythical or Smosh can survive on YouTube is because they're putting out videos EVERY DAY pretty much, they keep the average costs down. And even Mythical has talked about how their views have plateaued, Rhett and Link have talked repeatedly about how they're constantly trying new things and can't really pursue them if they're not a massive hit because they're beholden to only having resources for things that won't lose them money. It took them twenty years to get to a place where they could finally say, "Fuck it, we're doing what we want, because we're secure enough to take the hit, if it comes to that." Watcher in contrast is making more high level production shows, a lot of research into a single episode (rather than something that can be used for multiple episodes), expensive location shoots, etc. And so I think they looked to Dropout as a business model that might work for them. But the thing is that I'm not sure they have a strong enough roster to pull it off. Puppet History and Ghost Files are both hits, but I'm not sure any shows that aren't centered on Ryan and Shane have ever really taken off? Maybe Worth It or Dish Granted? Meanwhile, Dropout has the whole D20 lineup and Game Changer is a huge hit (also possibly Make Some Noise?)(I'm judging by how many shows I see cross my dash, which may not be the best metric, tbf) but they have a huge cast to work with and their model relies heavily on how much of the D20 stuff they put out in volume. So, I get why Watcher did this, in some ways, I kind of agree that it might have been the only move for them if they wanted to do this long-term. And I think it's important to them that, the whole reason they left Buzzfeed was because they wanted to do their own stuff, their own passion projects, rather than just what Buzzfeed deemed a viral hit. And their YouTube shows do mean being beholden to advertisers and only focusing on what will be as big a hit as possible, which is exactly what they wanted to get away from. I'm just not sure it'll work because they can't put out enough content that enough people would want to pay for. I kinda wish they'd gone the Mythical route instead, where they put up the behind the scenes stuff and special series on their own site and had tiers of membership for people who wanted to access them, while keeping the main shows on YouTube. (But I guess that's basically what they were doing with the Patreon exclusive videos and it must not have been a big enough draw to keep going the way they did.) I think they probably felt like this was the only route forward for them long-term, that it was either this or they would have to dissolve the company, but I'm just not sure I believe that it can work. I love the shows, but I'm not getting a subscription service for a roster of shows where I watch like three of the shows.

[odocoiileus]

Hiii! Can I ask for general headcanons about relationship with RZ Michael? And what the reader should do for him to not kill them in the first place?

pairings: rz! michael myers x gn! reader

warnings: mentions of murder, blood/gore, reader develops Stockholm syndrome if you squint, reader has nightmares (fueled by michael), michaels kind of an ass

a/n: sure! thanks for the ask🫶

let's start off in the beginning - you running from from this huge goliath of a man, fighting for your life.

rz michael is huge and extremely strong, obviously brutal, too. so rightfully, you're terrified.

I think the best ways to survive would be : A. fight until you can't anymore, prove your strength in a way - or B. try your best to empathize with him.

either way, if you survive, you're extremely lucky. sort of. michael won't simply let you go after surviving him, you're stuck with him now.

obviously it will take you a very long time to get the slightest bit comfortable around him, and vice versa. deep down, you know what he's capable of, and you never feel truly 100% safe.

Michael has never had a good example of what love should be like. let's not sugarcoat it, he's far from perfect as a romantic partner.

I can see him being very demanding (silently), and he has no care for your belongings or surroundings. so don't be surprised if he breaks stuff or ruins your shiny wooden floors or white carpet with blood. he'll just stare at you.

you can try to show him some humanity by cooking him meals, forcing him to shower showering with him, washing his clothes. it's foreign to him - a feral animal being forced into domesticity.

it'll be a verrryy long process, and it isn't linear.

even when he softens a bit, when he's just a bit more considerate — when he's laying in bed beside you, knife discarded on your bedside table and he's shown a sense of protectiveness over you --

you still have nightmares. who wouldn't? michael may show that he's protective (or possessive..you can't tell at this point) over you, but he's still a murderer. you know you're still at risk.

by no means will your relationship with him be perfect, but you relish in the soft moments you have with him.

braiding his hair, showering with him, laying with him (or on him, I mean, you could use him as a pillow), and cuddling.

you'll even put on some music you think he'll like: kiss, iron maiden, megadeth, etc.

it makes you feel like you're in a regular relationship, for just a moment.

despite your fears of being stabbed in your sleep or something wild like that, you soon find yourself not wanting to leave.

michael's a wild animal, and you're the one that's decided to put your life at risk by trying to domesticate him and show him love.

I do imagine he'd murder someone for you if you were ever in a situation where someone tried to hurt you,,,or tried to steal your attention away from him - maybe they were being just a bit too nosy, too curious about the stains in your floor, wondering why you never left the house.

you'll soon forget what loneliness is, anyway. you have Michael — a huge, silent giant who proves to be gentle with only you.

[zykamiliah]

shen yuan likes yue qingyuan, the post

i've documented 19 moments featuring sy!shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan with the express purpose of showing those who think that sy!sqq doesn't like yqy that they are factually WRONG

this is a long one so buckle up, grab a snack, get a drink, etc etc

number one

as it's the usual with shen qingqiu, the first thing he notices in a man is whether he's handsome or not. and here you go: the first thing he sees upon waking up from getting isekai-ed is a handsome, elegant young man looking at him with concern. we do know how shen qingqiu likes that look on pretty men (he likes it a lot)

i also want to point out that yue qingyuan is the first pidw character shen yuan meets. he's already linked to him, not only because he's shen qingqiu's martial sibling, but he's also intrinsically tied to shen yuan's rebirth, to the moment he opens his eyes to the pidw world for the first time. keep this in mind.

number two

upon getting up to date on wtf happened to him and learning his new identity, the second thing shen qingqiu does is worry about yue qingyuan's fate. he doesn't even know him yet and is already giving him the blorbo treatment. why is that? oh, maybe because he likes him???

do you know how many characters shen yuan was "rather fond of"??? not that many i tell you. he's only derailed from worrying about whether he'll cause yue qingyuan's death because the system gives him a little sneak peek of the human stick scene.

so up to this point sy!shen qingqiu has characterized yue qingyuan as a brother type, an amicable, elegant and handsome man, a bleeding heart, too good for this world.

number three

now we add 'considerate' to the many praises shen qingqiu extols on yue qingyuan. the man has to be really busy with all the sect leader work he has to do and yet he makes time to visit shen qingqiu regularly. we know why yue qingyuan does that, but shen qingqiu won't learn about qijiu's backstory until much later, and right now it doesn't matter. the fact remains: shen qingqiu is grateful to the point of tears to have yue qingyuan. even if he doesn't talk about it, we can theorize that he feels a bit lonely: he's a stranger in a new world, like a newborn baby. he may be obsessed with luo binghe but at this point of the story he still hasn't got time to bond with him. so the person shen qingqiu first latches on immediately after his transmigration is yue qingyuan.

number four

"how dare that scumbag shen jiu not treat his shixiong like the god he is, with the kindness and respect he deserves? well i'm not the same, so i WILL treat yue qingyuan better!"

(it's the intention what counts, okay? we know he kind of fuck ups a few times and gives yqy much stress)

also love how shen qingqiu says "brotherly covenant", he really values familial bonds, and he'll come to treasure his bonds with all his martial siblings really quickly.

also, may i point out that shen qingqiu decides to be a good shidi for yue qingyuan and treat him well without any "ulterior motives"? it's not even tied to his survival. he's a kind person by nature, yes, but he doesn't even try to convince the reader that he's going to be a good martial sibling for selfish reasons, which was the case with liu qingge. he just up and decides that yue qingyuan deserves his respect and consideration. he officially adopts yue qingyuan as his big brother.

number five

"at home in the atmosphere of brotherly love", do i need to say more? yue qingyuan makes him feel at home in this new world, he's comfortable around him. his presence soothes shen qingqiu.

number six

furthermore, yue qingyuan reminds him of the brothers of his first life, but the sorrow he feels for losing them is overpowered by a "comforting sense of warmth" so great it makes him feel cheerful. this is the scene where yue qingyuan welcomes him back upon his arrival from the skinner demon incident. in that scene, the first thing they do is smile at each other. shen qingqiu is happy to see him.

he's surprised when yue qingyuan takes his wrist to examine his spiritual circulation, but when he notices what yue qingyuan is doing he instantly relaxes. yue qingyuan's touch doesn't bother him at all.

see how yue qingyuan's presence is often linked to feelings of comfort, warmth, home, brotherly love, joyfulness? keep this in mind too. don't you dare to forget it.

number seven

this is post-demon invasion, while they are discussing the effects of without a cure. shen qingqiu is making good on his word of treating yue qingyuan better than his predecessor, by tamping down yqy's tendency to blame himself for everything.

"i understand that yue qingyuan is genuinely worried about me, unlike SOME PEOPLE, so i have to reassure him in case he decides to be more stressed than normal"

bonus: 7.5

("the three of them" refers to shen qingqiu, mu qingfang and yue qingyuan)

i want to quote this part too, because i can, and because this scene in the donghua was 100% faithful to the novel. just another reminder that shen qingqiu likes martial siblings.

number eight

now we're coming to the siblings-coded moments

exhibit one: "oh oh i figured it out so i'll say it before you do"

i want to point out that shen qingqiu says "obviously", because from his POV yue qingyuan only does things for a good reason. shen qingqiu idolizes him.

number nine

siblings-coded moments exhibit two: "i know how to make you let me do what i want"

we've jumped 3 years, this is the prelude to jinlan arc, and this is how their relationship has evolved. shen qingqiu knows what he has to say for yue qingyuan to allow him to go to jinlan. this is a method he's used the past, of course, because this isn't the first mission he went on after getting poisoned or after the IAC.

+bonus: 9.5 yqy being a mother hen

(this is the day after lbh chased him around jinlan)

number ten

shen qingqiu has just been accused of abusing his disciple, consorting with demons, murder, and being demonic cultivator wu yanzi's disciple. yue qingyuan almost starts a fight right there and there because they want to take his shidi away, but shen qingqiu stops him and his other martial siblings before it can escalate.

he gives yue qingyuan a deep bow. we've already established he respects yue qingyuan a great deal. he's ashamed that he's caused yue qingyuan so much trouble and grief, because he really cares about him, and his opinion of him, and he genuinely didn't want to be like the original who made yue qingyuan suffer a lot. shen qingqiu cares about his sect, about his martial siblings, and about yue qingyuan to the point that he GIVES HIMSELF UP to be imprisoned.

this is plot relevant! remember it, because shen qingqiu only feels ashamed and guilty when he thinks he has wronged the people he loves!

on that note:

number eleven

(this is when luo binghe is laying siege to qiong ding to recover sqq's stolen body and sqq, in the mushroom body, sees his sect siblings for the first time after five years)

number twelve, AKA THE ULTIMATE QUOTE

"the one who placed first" YOU HEAR THAT? YUE QINGYUAN IS THE PERSON HE ADMIRES AND REVERES THE MOST. AND NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED SHEN QINGQIU, IT'S NOT AN ADMIRATION BORN OF A SELFISH FEELING. it's because yue qingyuan is The Protector. THE BLEEDING HEART. he admires his kindness, his self-sacrificing nature, and even if shen qingqiu doesn't know, this are traits they have in common.

number thirteen

siblings-coded exhibit 3: when your other little brother tattles on you to your older brother and you're planning revenge

Remaining seated, Yue Qingyuan looked at him. “A lot of nonsense you’ve stirred up these days,” he said mildly. “Are you done?” Yue Qingyuan had never assumed such a severe attitude when speaking to him before, even going so far as to use a word like “nonsense.” This was already the equivalent of a flogging. It seemed that Liu Qingge had badmouthed him quite thoroughly. Shen Qingqiu swore that one day he’d steal Cheng Luan and use it to chop all the pork hock in all the kitchens of the Twelve Peaks. He’d chop until the oily sheen smothered all its sword glares!

so yue qingyuan being mad at you feels like the equivalent of a flogging. i get you sqq. like when my mom or my brother are mad at me i really feel like crying. anyway. it's hilarious that sqq is planning on stealing chen luan because liu qingge allegedly tattled on him to yue qingyuan.

it's obvious that shen qingqiu recognizes yue qingyuan as a figure of authority in his life, he respects him and as i said before, he cares about what yue qingyuan thinks of him.

number fourteen

we know that shen qingqiu's unconscious actions say a lot about him as a person, and the fact that he unconsciously took a step towards yue qingyuan speaks volumes. he's practically wavering between following yue qingyuan or staying with luo binghe.

this will not be the first time he hesitates to go with luo binghe on the face of yue qingyuan's request/order to stay with him. and in this case, he does stay with cang qiong because the situation has gotten pretty bad.

He didn’t know how long he could hold the others off, and he absolutely couldn’t abandon this mess of a situation and escape with Luo Binghe. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge had been brazen with their show of bias, and Wu Wang was already furious. Either Shen Qingqiu or Luo Binghe had to stay behind, or open conflict would erupt between Zhao Hua Monastery and Cang Qiong Mountain.

yue qingyuan and liu qingge just protected him in front of everyone, so he chooses to stay with them. shen qingqiu is incredibly loyal to them, and most importantly, he doesn't want cang qiong mountain to get into trouble because of him.

this is as good a moment to remind you all that in a lot of instances cqm = yqy in shen qingqiu's mind. obviously there is also the other peak lords and the disciples, but this is important. it isn't just because yqy is the sect leader. yue qingyuan was the first martial sibling he met, the one that welcomed him to the world of pidw and the one that kept him company those first days post-transmigration.

+ bonus: siblings coded exhibit 4:

yqy, out loud so others hear: you're grounded also yqy, whispering: let's have dinner and watch a movie once we get home, what do you want for dessert?

i can't stop laughing

+ bonus 2: parallelisms

(this moment is right after shen qingqiu has learned of shen jiu's past and woke up after being unconscious for 5 days)

When he next opened them, what filled his vision instead was a white bed curtain, its corners decorated with tassels. At the sudden change in scenery, Shen Qingqiu froze in place, surprised and unable to react—at least not before he heard Yue Qingyuan’s voice beside him. “Awake?” Shen Qingqiu mechanically blinked a couple times. His throat felt a bit dry, but he forced out his voice. “Zhangmen-shixiong.” (...) Shen Qingqiu awkwardly sat up. Suddenly, he thought this scene was a little familiar. The first time he’d woken in this world, Yue Qingyuan had also been at his bedside, watching over him.

number fifteen

so shen qingqiu knows he can get away with disobeying yue qingyuan and doing whatever he wants because yqy will forgive him anyway, and yet he chooses to respect yqy's decision and authority. of course he'll later convince yue qingyuan that he should allow him to go, like he's done many times before, but he won't deliberately disobey his zhangmen-shixiong.

so later, when they're on their way to maigu ridge, he tries to convince yqy that he must go with them. this is when yue qingyuan gets THIS CLOSE to locking him up in qiong ding hall.

now this is officially the only time yue qingyuan has done something remotely yandere-y adjacent. and not without reason! shen qingqiu died by self-detonation, then he returned after 5 years, then he was taken by a demon emperor, then he spent 5 days unconscious etc etc. he's admittedly very worried that shen qingqiu will die on him again, this time without a miraculous return. and the best thing? shen qingqiu doesn't know what to do. he didn't know whether to reach with his sword or not, whether to fight yue qingyuan on this or not. he wants to listen to yue qingyuan, but he also wants to go save the world.

and EVEN when he's finally allowed to go to Luo River, he hesitates again when he notices yue qingyuan may be struggling!

number sixteen

the reveal at maigu ridge's scene is really long, quoting it all would be a complete nightmare. so i'll just tell you to go read it because it reiterates some of the things i've already pointed out:

-shen qingqiu worrying about yue qingyuan

Thinking he was fine, Shen Qingqiu let go, but once he did, Yue Qingyuan didn’t remain standing for long before he unexpectedly collapsed again. Shen Qingqiu blanched with shock, then hurried to help him up again. “Zhangmen-shixiong? Zhangmen-shixiong?” After a brief examination, even with his superficial medical knowledge, he could tell that Yue Qingyuan’s current condition was horrible.

-shen qingqiu feeling guilty for causing yue qingyuan trouble

-shen qingqiu almost crying because of qijiu's tragic story and because it breaks his heart seeing yue qingyuan like this

number seventeen

i pointed out earlier that shen qingqiu idolizes yue qingyuan, and this is the first time he sees him so weak, which understandably makes him panic a lot. shen qingqiu thinks yue qingyuan is being talkative because he's dying, but shen qingqiu is having none of it

sobs shen qingqiu is so desperate to keep him alive.

+ bonus 3: yet again shen qingqiu's heart breaking for yue qingyuan

number eighteen

shen qingqiu, post-maigu ridge, wakes up, and upon remembering that he'd left zhangmen-shixiong in a pretty bad situation, he runs out of the lingxi caves in a panic.

you don't know how much this scene makes me feel

like, the moment luo binghe is out of the picture, yue qingyuan's safety becomes his main worry

then when he finally sees him, he's so happy that yqy is fine!

number nineteen: the goodbye scene

But even though he was the sect leader, Yue Qingyuan didn’t go with them. Instead, he stood in place, silently staring at Shen Qingqiu. For some reason, it became comparatively more awkward. As if testing the waters, Yue Qingyuan said, “Xiao-Jiu…” “Shixiong,” said Shen Qingqiu, “it’s Qingqiu.” Even though it would be too difficult to tell Yue Qingyuan the truth, Shen Qingqiu still hoped he could demonstrate the difference in other ways. Yue Qingyuan was stunned for a bit, then gave a small smile. “It’s Qingqiu. Qingqiu-shidi.”

i think this is the first time they've ever been awkward with each other. shen qingqiu says it would be difficult to tell him the truth, whether because the system won't allow him or because it'd be emotionally stressful for him to do so we don't know; but he still wants to mark the difference between the original and himself anyway, because he doesn't want to deceive yue qingyuan.

“What are your plans for the future?” asked Yue Qingyuan. “I have no plans for the time being,” said Shen Qingqiu. “First I’ll wait for Luo Binghe to return and see how he’s doing.” Yue Qingyuan smiled. “You truly adore that disciple.” Shen Qingqiu was searching for a way to answer when Yue Qingyuan said, “Shidi, Cang Qiong Mountain will forever be a place to which you can return whenever you tire of wandering the outside world.” These words were said with utmost sincerity and solemnity. Yue Qingyuan had always been this way. Whatever he promised, he would definitely deliver. And what he couldn’t deliver, he would endeavor to make up for, no matter the cost.

after learning of his past, after all that's happened, shen qingqiu's admiration remains unwavering. their relationship has become more complicated on account of the ghost that haunts it, but if anything, shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan have only deepened with this new understanding.

After assuming the role of this novel character, Shen Qingqiu had always refused to become the scum villain from the original work. He’d drawn a clear boundary between them and taken great pride in walking the opposite path. So never before had he felt such a powerful and impulsive thought: If only he really were Shen Jiu. If only that person could really hear these words.

but his heart still breaks for yue qingyuan and shen jiu and what they have lost.

[Luo Binghe] stood utterly alone, without a single person beside him. When the people walking past saw his face, their own faces filled with all sorts of expressions. Shen Qingqiu involuntarily ran forward a couple of steps, then turned his head to look at the person behind him. “Go on,” said Yue Qingyuan. He stood behind Shen Qingqiu, silent and with good grace. It was as if one was the past and the other the future.

this is the last interaction between shen qingqiu and yue qingyuan in the main novel. before leaving with luo binghe, he turns back and silently asks for yue qingyuan's permission, his approval.

it's like getting your family's blessing before running off with your paramour.

this is yue qingyuan to shen qingqiu: the person that stood by his side from the moment he was reborn into the world of proud immortal demon way, the steadfast, strong and reliable older brother that gave him a family and a place to call his, that has fought for and defended him against all his enemies to the detriment of his own reputation. shen qingqiu respects, admires and will try to do what yue qingyuan says, because he's the only authority figure shen qingqiu recognizes in this life. even if yue qingyuan's care was born out of his feelings for shen jiu, shen qingqiu can't stop caring for him, being grateful for his presence and the comfort it gave him throughout all these years. even after learning the truth, his only regret is that he can't bring shen jiu back so yue qingyuan and him can get some closure.

that's love, my dudes.

[gremlingottoosilly]

hi gremlin! i have sent this before but idk did it get lost or not not sent or you don't wanna discuss it (which is fine!) but how would monster!könig be with autistic reader? like reader who requires noise cancelling headphones, sensitive to some types of textures, how would he act during a meltdown and such etc etc? i just love the au so much it's making my brain melt!

He is terrible at first( even when he does genuinely tries to accommodate you, it still goes awful. I just know that his tentacles would give you so many texture issues, that his grip is always too tight, and every one of his attempts at making you your safe food is going to backfire so horribly, you're down to only eating dry cereal and protein shakes for a whole month until he is finally giving up and getting you someone who can, you know, actually fucking help. It's not that he doesn't want to be somewhat softer - he just doesn't understand you at all. Humans are weird enough, but he would have to study you completely on your own, every advice from a specialist only making him more hazy. He listens to your complaints about major stuff - for example, the blankets scratching your skin in an annoying fashion, food that you can and can't eat because, well, he doesn't want you to starve out here, and he at least tries to be patient. Good for you is that all of the nightmares of being a breeding mare for the monster is making you somewhat docile - your body desperately trying to survive, so Konig thinks you just behave good on your own accord and gives you gifts and praises every time you don't freak out when he wants to touch you. You don't get a lot of things - headphones, for example, are non-negotiable because you couldn't hear him calling for you if needed, and it also can make you more open to enemies. He knows that it makes you feel awful, so he would just propose for you to...never exit his room. So you won't experience the stress of the real world outside. He isn't the best guy during a meltdown either - he starts to wrap his tentacles around you, and it only makes you feel worse, so with time, he just takes you away and lets you calm down on your own accord. He isn't going to take that away, at least.

[daedelweiss]

finally made a proper sheet and render for my sona: Pastel Leo!!! or just Pastel for short. he never calls himself Leo 😂

he's an embodiment of aesthetics, beauty, and the appreciation of the arts. he's existed ever since humanity has started prioritizing art and not survival so he's a few hundred thousand years old. he pretty much just roams around the world, attracted to people who make art, music, literature, etc. he also befriends immortals like night time (ash's sona). him and night don't know they're related for a good while tho.

he's a pretty lonely boi tho as he keeps befriending mortals who either leave him or die. one day, he got tired of his loneliness that he spends 100 years isolated. his body then glitched to a tot and repressed all his immortal memories prior to meeting his twins (megg's sona and cami's sona)

that's pretty much all i want to share atm 😄 it's just fun creating stuff that won't go into public and not worry about what the agorithm thinks 💖 i do hope you like my little blorbo tho!!!

•

( 🌿 please do NOT repost, edit, trace, use, and/or sell 🌿 )

ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡɪɴs ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ @meggalice @camilieroart ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇʟʏ. ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴇᴏ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ @ashwii

[merao-mariposa]

I'm weak for Phil/Missa with a worship focus

Think about this:

We're looking at the angel of death and a reaper of death.

We are seeing the guy who has survived everything since the beginning of time and the guy who keeps dying, and coming back, choosing what he always wants to return to.

They are united more than they should while one wields a sword to defend those he loves, the other clears the clouds in their loved ones path because he loves them! He wants them to be happy!

They will both forever remember those who were in their heart, The Antartic Empire and Team Vacío Legal lives forever, no matter how much time passes because they were loved by Philza and Missa; the most loyal immortals.

Oh! And something more; the focus on their immortality is so unique! When did I meet him I was told that; “The only thing Phil knows is that he has not died yet” But Missa I think is very aware of his death, he died, he died and he came back with a fourth chance when the others had until the third chance to return and he came back from the dead a fourth time. time, he would do it a fifth, sixth and seventh time he would do it all over again because he cares about.

While Philza in life gives everything of himself for people once they earn his loyalty, trust and appreciation. He won't stop being the same emotional-constipate-crow-dude but God knows he will follow his closest friends to the end of the world, he took the world alongside Technoblade and then he would destroyed another next to him! He is a patient crow, domesticated by death herselft (for whom he is waiting patiently to be with her) staying home and being domestic? He can do it, chaotic raiding dungeons and loting everything that makes his “shiny!” Brain go?, he won't say no. This man can do both if the people he cares ask him.

We have years of lore about Phil, I'll be honest. while we don't have much information about Missa but what we do have comes from HIM and US (his community) do you want a prince-ish son of la Santa muerte? He can be, do you want an labor overexploited reaper? poor thing lmao but here him is! Do you want him to be 26 (or more) meters high? well, ask the admins but no one will deny you //I have seen him ominous, savage, bear hybrid, anguished, violent, etc, the limit is in the imagination!

(You have so many styles)

They worship each other by the way they complement each other. Just by thinking of Philza as the one who has not died, silent and anxious, waiting almost patiently for his complement, his missing half, the father of his children and his husband to return to him after literally being in the center of the end, the end of their life together, the end of watching his children grow and grow, until grow old (even though the mere thought of them aging beyond them breaks him)

After literally being in death and its domain only to choose to return, Missa would never believe in taking away Phil's free will so he's prepared to not see him there, he'll be fine; It is his right. Someone like him with the eternity in front of him would get bored of waiting for a guy like Missa.

Only to arrive and be absolutely adored and hugged till death (again) by his husband. He is happy to see him, he is so glad to see him waiting for him, Philza is happy that not so much of that so-called “time” has passed since the last time he had him in his arms (where Missas belongs to), so happy that their life together is not over yet. A life he loves and a husband he would fight for until he dies.

Obviously he drags him into the house where Missa is absolutely delighted to be welcomed (he always will be) like a crow carrying a new treasure to adore to its hiding place, only that Missa in his soul shines brighter than many of his shinys.

Missa is a reaper of death, literally a part of him feels explicitly built to respond to Phil as his angel or to BBH as a companion of duty, but it's too much, almost too instinctive and natural for him to worship Phil, not that he has a lot of experience but it is nothing like the crush he once had with Quakity, this is more real and deeper than the kiss he shared with Roier.

It's almost like nature for him to adore Philza.

And he doesn't make it any easier for poor Missa, so great and kind, Missa will always be vocal about how incredible and charming his husband is, how much he wants to spend time with him despite the adversities and hazards of the job that he does. prevent, they are worth it as long as he can be under his presence like a cat with sunlight.

It doesn't matter if Phil doesn't want him anymore because Missa is his because he decided it for himself/the skeleton isn't going anywhere, Phil is patient but as long as they are on the same earthly plane of life he is not going to let go of Missa, simply because he is loyal to him (hes also a little chaotic, not above dragging Missa around like putting a collar on a wet kitten)

En conclusión:

DEATHDUO KILL ME YAIIII :DDDD

❗️How we interpret their relationship does not change that Phil took the name “platonic husbands” correctly. (Pissa AND deathduo are totally valid, don't worry, we can get both :D )❗️

[evaglass]

Speculation about Mizu's parents pt. 4

Going back to the story of the Ronin and the Bride

This is official concept art, I believe. Look at the blue eyes, then specifically look at the baby, and the blanket the baby is wrapped around her. That blanket is seen somewhere else.

It looks like the blanket baby Mizu had laying below her

It's also seen again in a flashback when Mizu is a child and also used as her belt throughout the show.

Remember when I said that the Ronin and Bride could also represent her parents. Using the connections with the films that influenced the show, as well as hints of foreshadowing, I believe Mizu's mother found out she was pregnant, probably tried to run away to raise Mizu in safety (like the Bride in Kill Bill), realized that finding safety for both her and Mizu might take more time than she thought, left Mizu in the care the maid, during that time her actual mother was found and killed by one of the white men like Fowler stated before she could ever reunite with Mizu.

I also have a hunch that Mizu's biological mother died the same night Mizu's childhood home went up in flames, and she was left to survive on the streets. It would make the scene where Mizu is a child swearing to her 'mother' that she'll avenge them. Of course, Mizu was referring to the maid, who later turned out to survive that night, but then her quest for vengance later shifted to the reason being of her existence as a 'monster'.

I also believe the blue eyes of the Bride from the puppet show when she comes back as an Onryo are supposed to represent Mizu's mother's eyes as well, and that she got her blue eyes from her mother. Like Yuki, Mizu could be a representation of her mother's need for vengance after death.

Why? Well, because, as I said earlier, she could have tried to run away and find the best opportunity to leave Japan unnoticed (like how Beatrix tried to run away with her unborn daughter), but eventually was found and killed. So, her rage lives on through Mizu because her mother was taken away from her, was stripped of the chance to raise her, to be there when she was scared, lonely, or sad, to see all her milestones, to let her know that she loves her, etc.

Mizu could be a representation of her mother's rage beyond the grave, and she doesn't even know it

When Fowler finds out Mizu is actually a woman, he knows exactly who she is. That she was raised in hiding, that she had a maid raise her, that there's a high bounty for her.

I don't think Fowler laughed at the fact that Mizu is a woman, I think he might have laughed because he finds the situation ironic. He knows that Mizu is out for vengance because she's mad about her existence; that a white man, who brought pain to many people with his three fellow white men, impregnated her Japanese mother, causing her to be born a 'monster', and costing her the ability to live a normal life.

Fowler found out Mizu wants all her potential white fathers dead before he even found out she's a woman. After finding out Mizu is a woman, a specific woman too, he laughs because maybe he knows none of the white men are her father because it's mother who was the European one, and she's going through all that trouble only for the white person responsible for her existence to already be dead.

So if that's the case, why didn't Fowler just tell her? Well, do you honestly think Mizu would believe him? If anything, she could have seen the potential reveal of her mother being the European as getting him, Skeffington, and Routley to dodge responsibility. Fowler is a shitty person, but he's not stupid. Mizu is also a bit hot-headed, she probably would have definitely killed him if he revealed something like that.

Fowler knows Mizu being mixed-raced is a big insecurity for her and has proven to her that she will do anything to kill the people responsible for it. Fowler not telling her, could possibly be for the reason of simply buying himself time because him telling her she won't find Routley and Skeffington without him gives him the chance to find away to escape when they arrive at the British Isles.

Now, there's the question of who could be Mizu's father. I'll explain in part 5 (I know this already long, but I'm almost done)

Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5/Part 6

[ohsalome]

the intention of comparing the reaction to Palestine vs Ukraine is typically not to criticize Ukrainian victims of war. The criticism is directed at American spectators, because the people in power here are insanely anti Palestinian but have made overtures to help Ukraines resistance efforts despite comparable situations. Regular citizens also mostly support Ukraine but many hate Palestinians. People are just comparing palestine to Ukraine as a point of reference to try to make those people understand.

As kindly as possible, I do not think you can educate people out of islamophobia by appealing to their conscience, at the very least because if they had one they wouldn't be islamophobic in the first place.

And when it comes to people in power, appealing to their empathy in the case with Palestine is fruitless because the help Ukraine got wasn't motivated by emotion either. I do not expect you to know the history of current russo-ukrainian war well, so you probably don't know that the western world was perfectly happy to watch russia roll all over us punishment-free as long as they felt that other "properly european countries" won't be involved. Russia has been butchering us since 2014, and nobody gave a fuck about it. Even during the first few weeks of the full-scale invasion NATO refused to send us any military help, because they expected us to fall and were okay with it.

The current support we have did not fall on us from the sky by the graceful kindness of "our american overlords" - it is a consequence of the cumulative effort of our diplomats, pre-existing agreements with NATO countries, and the economical ripples the full-scale war caused (Ukraine being one of the major world exporters of grain being one of the most relevant).

This is why, sadly Palestine cannot follow the Ukrainian scenario of foreign support. The surrounding circumstances of both of our wars are way to different, and while it is easy to ignore them while making simplistic quick-dopamine-hit posts on hellbr dot com, they do influence the real-world situation on the ground. Which is what posts like the one I replied to do - they create a no-nuance misinformed image of the war in Ukraine. Which amplifies the problem even more, because even though "most americans" can agree on a generic "war in Ukraine bad", their idea of what is going on here is hugely misinformed as it is. And this has harmful real-life consequences on which our very survival depends.

Look. I understand that the war between Palestine and Israel has been going on for decades. I understand that there are many contexts that are obvious to the people in the respective countries that I am oblivious to by the virtue of never being there and not speaking arabic nor hebrew. I understand that there is a lot of propaganda that I may accidentally spread out of my ignorance, and therefore I try to be careful to avoid doing so, out of respect to the people living there. So why is it too much to ask you to give the same respect to us?

Like I have said before, the biggest issue with that infographic post is that it spreads misinformation. In the simplest of terms, misinformation is bad. People are trying to do any smallest thing to help Palestinians - who are currently barely surviving in inhumanely horrifying conditions - and out of ignorance they are spreading anti-ukrainian propaganda. Downplaying the number of ukrainian victims (and, as a result, making russian war crimes look "not as bad") is anti-ukrainian propaganda. Making it seem as we are getting "too much american help" is anti-ukrainian propaganda, because USA is our biggest military exporter, and getting less ammo/vehicles/etc will have catastrophic effect on the amount of death.

Which is why am not staying silent on this, even if your collective intentions are noble and good. Because, I will repeat myself again, your intentions do not matter if the consequences of your actions are harmful. And if (a) comparing Ukraine and Palestine is uneffective; (b) it portrays your ignorance of either one or both of the wars; and (c) simultaneously with spreading support for the palestinian cause you are spreading harmful anti-ukrainian pro-russian propaganda, I do not think it is too much to ask you to stop.

[novelconcepts]

In watching more interviews with Liv about Van and the escalation of Van's pragmatism to such dark degrees, I find myself genuinely baffled that anyone could ever think Van the bad guy. I mean, I'm perplexed at finding ANY of these girls The Bad Guy. The bad guy is the situation. It's being lost. It's freezing. It's starving. It's being scraped down to the barest bone of being alive. They make choices that might be snippy, or cruel, or hard-headed, sure--Shauna refusing to just hash it out with Jackie; Jackie being too stubborn to come inside; Taissa refusing to discuss her situation plainly; etc--but by the time we reach the end of season 2, it doesn't even matter. Petty bullshit doesn't matter. Jealousy doesn't matter. Those things are still going to be present and complicated, because--for all their choices, for all the distancing they're trying to do--these kids ARE still human beings. But it isn't the point.

The point is survival. Plain, simple, straightforward. Van's pragmatism is survival. It is the difference between living another day with blood on your teeth or dying pretty. It is the difference between fighting forward through the fire and the snow and the hell of it all, and laying down to die. Van knowing, in watching the ritual violence of Shauna beating Lottie nearly the death, that they will be killing and eating one another soon. Van coming up with the cards for the hunt. Van not blinking when the moment comes, Van choosing a weapon that doubles as a tool to bring the body back, Van refusing to apologize for staying alive--it's not evil. It's not Bad Guy behavior. It's purely about survival, because there is nothing else left to her--or to any of them. They can play the pretty little Sweet Angel Girl game and die, or they can get dirty, bloody, horrific and fight. Van chooses the fight. Van chooses to fight for herself, for her lover, for her team, even knowing not everyone is going to make it out...because the alternate path there is that no one makes it out. Van knew the baby wouldn't live. Van knows the rest of them won't, either. Not unless they start making the hard choices.

And, honestly, the fact that Van sees this narrative coming. Comes up with this plan. Brings out the cards. To me, that is the opposite of Bad Behavior. That is as close to justice as anyone can find in the wilderness. If someone else came up with an idea, maybe it would have come down to voting--but that would have had such a human element to it, with bitterness or hostility or whatever ultimately petty shit always comes of humans selecting who to Other. The cards don't leave room for that. It isn't fair, because the situation isn't fair, because Man vs. Nature isn't fair, but it's as close to a just system as they could possibly find. It's the kindest solution to an unwinnable game. Not to bring it back to American Gods again, but all I can think is "it's easy, there's a trick to it: you do it, or you die." Van gave them that.

[tvseries-writings]

TW: suicide attempt

Me again, about Carina and Maya. So...I've been thinking and had an idea.

How about one, where the two come back home from a hard day and just want to cuddle with R and watch some movies etc., but they can't find R anywhere. One of them enters the bedroom and sees a letter, which turns out to be a suicide note, which, obviously, scares them a lot.

So they (frantically) continue looking for R and notice that the bathroom door is closed, so they get a spear key to open it (or just kick it open lol) and see R in the bathtub, wrists c*t open and the water having turned red.

The rest is up to you (but make r survive plssss).

If that's a too much, or too graphic, I can try to come up with another idea.

Endgame

The water is turning red and the pain is slowly fading as the cold makes you shiver. 

You look up at the ceiling, releasing the smoke in small circles that expand into the bathroom.

Maya and Carina hate it when you smoke inside the house but you think it won't be a problem this time; the deep cuts on your wrists are proof of that. 

You know you should feel guilty about what you're doing, about how it will affect them...but you don't, you feel free at last; the weight on your chest that has been plaguing you for months is gone, flown away as soon as you put the blade on your wrist with the intention of not stopping. No one stays sane for long under conditions of absolute reality, and that is exactly what happened to you. Maya and Carina's love was not enough and not because of them. You didn't want to be helped; it has to be this way and you know it, just like all the lousy foster families who for fifteen years of your life told you so, over and over again until you turned eighteen and joined the Army and later the Seattle Police Department. You've seen so much horror that you're not sure you want to stay in this world and you did what had to be done. That was it.

Suicide is said to be an impulsive choice, as irrational as murder is but it is not, the carefully folded letter on the bed that you, Maya and Carina share is proof of that. No act is ever completely impulsive, there is always premeditation behind it. And yours lasted more than four months; four months of false smiles and emotionless eyes.

But now nothing matters anymore, nothing, because you are finally about to leave this shitty world but also the loves of your life. It is not true that you do not feel guilty but you are sure that they will be fine without you, they will go on as they always have and they will not have your weight on their shoulders, not anymore. That is all that matters, the only thing that matters to you. Finally, for the first time in your whole life, you will do something useful and get out of their way. They will feel bad at first but then they will live a much more peaceful and happy life, you are absolutely convinced of that. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself to get the courage to go ahead in what you're doing.

On the news, on TV, in the movies people say that suicide is an extremely selfish and cowardly act but you don't think it is, there is a deep and primal courage in doing such an extreme act; not everyone is capable of it and not because they don't want to but because they don't have the courage necessary to cross the line and not look back. It is difficult, of course, but it is worth it. At least for you.

You are so weak that you can no longer hold the cigarette, which falls into the water and goes out with a sizzle. A sigh leaves your lips as you rest your head on the edge of the tub, beginning to sink into the now warm water. When you close your eyes, your last thought goes to Maya and Carina and their smile.

  ........................................................................................................................

"I'm tireeed."

Carina sighs, nibbling her neck with her right hand and holding Maya's hand with her left. The young firefighter picked her up as soon as she finished her shift and now they are on their way home. Both of them are very tired and the only thing they want is to lie down in your bed and cuddle with you want to choose a good movie for all three of them to watch together. "Today we had to fight with an old lady who didn't want us to use her balcony to save a boy who was going to jump and only because according to her he was an immigrant."

Maya rolled her eyes, shaking her head and huffing in exasperation. As a captain, she certainly couldn't rail against an old woman, but that afternoon, the urge had really been there.

"Sometimes I wonder why people talk without thinking, really, I had to drag Vic away from the woman before he ripped her hair out, rightly so. Luckily we saved the boy but I swear sometimes I really don't understand why I keep doing this job."

Carina smiled, leaning in to kiss his wife as the latter slipped the keys out and opened the door before stopping to return the kiss. "Because you love your job even if people are horrible, just like me and y/n do, Bella ”

Maya smiles and nods, stroking Carina's face and lingering on the hazel eyes she loves so much. "You're right Car and about our girl...have you noticed that she's been a little distant lately?"

Carina nods, getting out of the car together with the blonde and walking, hand in hand, to the building where your apartment is located.

"She's distant, I tried to ask her what was wrong but she said she was fine...I'm getting worried though, it's not like her, it's been more than four months since she's been herself, I feel like I don't see that light in her eyes anymore that she had when we first met."

Maya sighs, pressing the button for the second floor and waiting for Carina to enter the elevator as well before closing the doors. "I had the same feeling, I think we should talk to her today, maybe after dinner...what do you think?" "I think it's a good idea Bella."

The two women smile at each other and then Maya inserts the keys inside the lock and enters your apartment. The hallway lights are off, as is everyone in the house except for the one in the living room and bathroom.

"Y/n, love, we're home!"

Maya shouts, placing her keys on the cabinet at the entrance and slipping off her coat and shoes before looking for you in your bedroom.

Carina does the same, only much slower than the blonde and then sits on the couch, opening the home delivery app to choose what you will eat tonight.

It is Maya who finds the letter. She has just slipped into a sweatshirt and sweatpants when her gaze falls back to the nightstand to the left of the bed and the white, almost snow-white sheet of paper with the words "To my loves" written in your handwriting.

A terrible feeling grips her stomach. The blonde snaps forward, grabbing the letter and opening it to read the words written on it. She only needs to read the first sentence to run into the living room to Carina. 

"Maya you need to calm down, what's going on Bella?"

Carina is startled to see the blonde so agitated and then, when she sees the letter in her hands, she snatches it from her and begins to read its contents. Carina, unlike her wife, gets to the third line before she completely panics. "No no no, she couldn't have done that, she wouldn't do that...she loves us Maya, she wouldn't do that to us not."

Maya shakes her head frantically, picking up the phone and dialing your number with trembling fingers. And then, when the sound of your phone ringing echoes in your bathroom, your soulmates have no doubt that you have performed the ultimate act.

Maya screams at Carina to call an ambulance as she bursts through the door after only two shoves. The horrendous spectacle before her makes her want to vomit but she braces herself and pulls you out of the tub by resting you on the floor. She checks your pulse and when she feels nothing, her heart seems to stop.

"Carina, come here!"

Maya begins compressions; she tries to hold back tears but fails to do so. When your wife enters the bathroom, still on the phone with 911 operators, her knees give way and she falls to her knees next to your lifeless body.

“S-She has no pulse, she cut both her wrists, she should have lost more than four liters of blood from the amount I can see...How fucking fast can you get here? Fucking fuck, Bambina please don't do this to us, please."

The ambulance will arrive in five minutes, and both Maya and Carina are not sure if they can continue compressions for that long.

On the fourth round of compressions, they don't know by what miracle, your chest rises and falls. Painfully slowly but it does and your girls breathe a sigh of relief when it happens. "It's okay love, we're here, don't you dare leave us okay? Don't you dare do it y/n."

Carina bursts into tears, lowering herself onto your forehead and leaving a kiss in your wet hair. Both are pressing towels on your wrists and the Italian is carefully monitoring your pulse as Vic, Andy and Warren enter the bathroom with the stretcher and first aid kit. When they see it's you, they are breathless for a few seconds before they get to work.

"Girls, we got her. Now you have to get out though, you know, let's go." Warren, despite their protests, escorts them into the living room and sits them on the couch before returning to the bathroom to give Vic and Andy a hand.

The doctor and the fireman remain silent for more than three minutes, both letting tears line their faces, before speaking.

"I can't believe she did that."

Maya whispers, squeezing Carina's hand and seeking, in that grip, a support, a consolation, that the Italian could not offer her. "I can't believe we didn't notice how sick she was Maya, we should have done something, we-“

Their talk is interrupted by the sound of the stretcher being dragged out of the bathroom. They both stand up and come toward you; you have an oxygen mask on your face and bandages wrapped around your wrists but your skin is still extremely pale. More so than your usual.

"We're taking her to Grey's Sloan, she's stable for now but she's lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion and then she'll have to stay in observation...well, you know. You can ride in the ambulance with us if you want."

Maya and Carina cast a glance at each other, knowing that when you wake up you will be absolutely and fortuitously angry with them for allowing them to keep you in the hospital for three whole days but they know they have no choice.

      ....................................................................................................................

Eight endless hours pass before you wake up; the realization of your failed attempt hits you even before you open your eyes, and the heart rate monitor alerts your girls even before you can. 

The blinding whiteness of the hospital room and the smell of disinfectant hit you so hard that for a moment you close your eyes, as if to childishly make disappear what is around us and what you have tried to do. But, of course, it doesn't work, and when you open them again, the worried and tired faces of your girls are just above your face. For the first time in the six years you've been together, you can't decipher their expressions.

"You scared us y/n, really a lot." 

Maya's voice trembles thinking back to how she found you a few hours ago. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find me like this, not-"

Carina gives a nervous laugh before speaking (or rather, screaming), "better this way than dead y/n How could you think our world would be better without you? We love you, you are a part of our hearts, of our lives..without you we couldn't even breathe how can you not understand that!"

Carina screams, tears streaming down her cheeks and the only thing you want to do is to hold her in a hug and wipe away those salty water drops staining her face but you can't, you are afraid she will reject you and you know she would have every reason to do so.

"I didn't want you to find me alive, I'm sorry because once again I couldn't get one thing done right. I'm sorry because I'm still alive, that's why I'm sorry."

You whisper, shaking your head and holding back tears. You are so tired of living and right now, you really have nothing left to lose.

The two of them remain silent, shocked by what you said but also deeply hurt by Ilf noting that this is what you think of yourself. "Oh y/n, we love you and it hurts us to hear you say these things about yourself so yes, even though it goes against your wishes, we are grateful that we were able to bring you back and in time you will be too, we will help you love."

Maya sits on the bed next to you and caresses your face with such gentleness and with such love in her eyes that your heart cries a little for making them suffer.

Carina comes close and pulls you into a hug, so tight it hurts but you don't have the heart to tell her so you enjoy that squeeze, appreciating the pain of still being there with them.

"Bambina, I know you have it thinking that we would be better off without you but we are not, it will never be that way my love but I need you to know that I am very angry with you but nevertheless I love you and I will want to be by your side every second of your healing journey-"

"We both will be."

Maya nods, leaving a kiss in your hair and stroking your back.

You sigh, hiding your face in the hollow of the Italian's neck. "I love you, I love you so much but I am tired of fighting..I am losing miserably."

Carina shakes her head cn firmly, forcing you to look up and into her eyes.

"Then it means we'll fight for you, you just have to stay with us a little longer until you're better Bella but you won't be alone, not anymore.Non lasceremo che tu affronti tutto questo da sola (We don’t let you face this alone).”

"We love you y/n, you are not alone."

Maya whispers, leaving a kiss on your lips and then doing the same with Carina and then, both of them hold you in an embrace in that little hospital bed and, even though the weight on your chest is back and that feeling of freedom is gone, maybe you really are not alone and for them you could stay a little longer, just a little, for them. For their love and for the love you feel for them.

Thanks for Reading! Here is my ko-fi link and have a Great day!

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