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thecapricunt1616 · 7 months

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The Bear & His Honey Chapter 3

Inspo: Quote - “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark that’s running through my heart ” Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC!!!) Winnie & Richie meet for the first time, have a conversation about their love for Taylor Swift over a cigarette while Carmen fights through a panic attack in his office. W/C: 3,000 A/N: Oh my WORD!! I am so excited for this chapter, I hope you all like it!! I’m hoping my Carmy and Richie are doin’ it for ya! I’m feeling this pacing for the moment, but I promise there will be a time jump at some point. I just want to have the relationships build a little and have you guys get to know Winnie outside of who she is with Carmy!! Warnings for BTC: Abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical), Swearing, Self Harm, Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Negative self talk, bad coping skills. (0 smut though, wow!!)

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Chapter 2 Here!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Don’t worry missy, mommy isn’t forgetting about you” I brush my hand over my cat, Persephone’s, supple fluffy white tail. “Jus’ give me a second ok?” I leaned into the mirror, finishing applying a mauve lip liner to the edges of my lips before filling them in with gloss. I give myself one final lookover, smoothing down my pale, buttercup-colored cardigan. I look like I should be freezing my ass off, but thanks to my fleece-lined nude tights- I am warm as can be.

I head into the kitchen, Persephone weaving in and out of my legs as she usually did getting a giggle out of me. “Poor starving fluffy baby mm’?” I coo, grabbing her dish from the cabinet and emptying one of her favorite shrimp-flavored Friskies lil’ soups into the bowl, and setting it down for her. She dives right in and I scratch her head lovingly. “There, that is your bedtime snack ok? You got it early, so when it’s really time for bed later, don’t try and tell me I forgot somethin’ yea?” I go grab my ‘purse’ from the bedroom which was just the tote I’d gotten at Taylor Swift's concert a few months ago, as well as my white pleather platform boots, and sit in the entry hall, putting them on.

I look at myself once more in the hall mirror, adjusting the white bow tying back my long locks that I’d curled. “Love y’ baby, Mama be home soon, be goods ok?” I called to Seph’ who was still chowing down in the kitchen. I slipped on my fur cape shawl-type garment over my shoulders and stepped out of my apartment. Locking my door, I headed back down a few blocks to The Bear. I put on my headphones as I walk, humming softly to the music blasting through them.

As I approach the alleyway, I see light puffs of smoke coming out into the street. I hurried my pace, hoping it was Carmen out for a smoke before I showed up. But when I finally see around the corner, it's not Carmen, it’s some other man. Older, wearing a brown leather jacket. He nods in my direction and his lips move, his voice completely drowned out by the music that was still blasting in my ears. I pull my headphone away from my ear lightly “Sorry, wha’dya say?” I asked, taking them off and putting them in my bag.

“I asked if you were in your Fearless Era? Nice sweater” he said and I smiled wide. “Shut up- you listen to Taylor Swift?” I walked up to him, leaning a few feet away on the brick wall. “Hell yeah! My daughter loves her, you saw the show too?” He takes another drag of his cigarette and I smile with an enthusiastic nod. “Mmhmm!!” I say proudly “Can you believe She played Death By A Thousand Cuts and Mad Woman?! Those are like, my favorites from those albums!”

He blows the smoke past me and nods with a smile. “It really was fuckin’ fantastic. Broad puts on such a crazy show it was fire.” I looked closer and realized he was wearing chef's clogs “D’ you work here?” I questioned. Another nod “My cus’ owns it. You been?” He asked and my eyes widened before I let out a laugh, a real laugh.

“I’m here for - for him!! Actually. He umm..invited me for a drink.” I said a shy smile dancing on my lips and my cheeks heating slightly.

“Holy shit” he laughs. “Holy fuckin’ shit” he shakes his head in disbelief. “What?” I giggle. “He has a secret girlfriend or somethin’?” I joked and that got another chuckle out of him. “No, no. Absolutely not- I just am- in shock and awe.” He snorts, taking another drag.

“Why’s that? Am I ugly or somethin’?” I teased “oh no no quite the opposite actually, surprised he was able to talk to you. Kid gets all quiet around pretty girls.” I shrugged. “Hes….shy. But very funny.” I added. “Funny? Wow. I can’t wait to tell Sug’ t’morrow. Wait so how did you- how did he ask you out?” He questioned.

I took a deep breath, a sheepish smile on my face “ok, so- he didn’t - he did ask, but he did it by making me ask. He was like ‘oh so you only go out with guys that have xyz’ and I was like ‘no you askin’ me out player?’ And he was like ‘nope but we can go out’ he’s such a dork” I smile at my feet and he snorts a laugh, rubbing his chin like Carmen does.

“Yeee’ that’s Carmen’s style. He's very indirect- with girls that is. With family though- god. He’s too honest most of the time” I look back up at him. “So… how does this whole thing work, like- so Carmen is your cousin, and who is Sugar?” I asked “oh, yeah Sugars my cousin too, but she’s Carmy’s big-sis. That’s why if you decide to start comin’ ‘round more often don’t be surprised if you see her bossin’ him around even though he’s technically the boss” I giggle a bit.

“Ohh no I saw it already. She’s- she can be scary. But she’s very pretty, so that makes up for it. She came in tellin’ him off about cups earlier” I said and he chuckles “Yeah. She was the torment today, it’s usually Carmen but he was ok for the most part. Except at the end of the day, oh! Shit!! Oh my god you” he said and I looked at him, confused. “Me?” I question, pointing at my chest. “You. Yeah you. That’s why he was sooo fuckin’ dead set on hauling everyone’s asses out the door at 9:40. Oh and that’s why he had Marcus deep clean the bar. I see.” He took another drag of his cigarette. A heat brushed my cheeks.

Is he nervous to see me?

I take my bottom lip between my teeth in thought. “How’d you meet?” He asked, bringing me back. My gaze meets his again, “ah- we met today? Actually? Well, I think I’ve seen him like- around, because I’ll take walks on my breaks so he’s probably been out smoking. But I was gonna come by the restaurant for lunch and he was in need of a light so, I gave him one. And then he found I work at the bookstore and figured that means I’m smart or something and with his pretty eyes he just… managed to rope me into editing your dessert menu” I said and he laughed.

“That’s one thing about Carm’ this place?” He taps the brick with his finger “Is him, he will do anything to make something perfect about it. So I guess consider yourself smart since he trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you” he said and I blushed, my eyes meeting my boots again.

Really like you.

“So are all you Berzattos this charming, or is it just you and Carm?” I teased and he laughed, his head falling back “Oh, I like you” he pats my arm before stomping out the butt of his cigarette. “Here, you don’t have to walk all the way around - let me just let you in the kitchen” he dug keys out of his pocket, unlocking the large metal door. “Just realized, never got your name.” He said, opening the door and holding it ajar with his foot.

“Winnie” I reply, and held out my hand. He shakes it, his hands were cold from the weather but his touch was gentle. “Richie” he said and I looked into the hall that leads into the kitchen, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest. “Well I’ll leave you kids at it. No fuckin’ in the kitchen it’s spotless “ he said, breaking the tension in my chest and earning a laugh from me. “No promises, know where he is?” I asked and he nodded with his chin down the hall “2nd door on the right, his office. He’s probably finishing up paperwork n’ shit.” He said and I gently kissed his cheek on my way through the door, a friendly gesture.

“It was very nice to meet you, Richie.” I said sweetly, his cheeks were bright red. “You too, Winnie. Hopefully we see you around more- Carm can use the attitude adjustment you gave ‘em this afternoon a little more often.” He joked and my cheeks were the ones that now felt hot to the touch.

He actually listened to what I’d said about being good.

I nod “I’ll work on it” I said and he nodded with a smile, “night.” He said “g’night! Be safe!” I replied as he shut the door.

The kitchen was completely silent, the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. It was literal night and day. The bookstore was always quiet unless we were doing story time for littles, and at night it was just as quiet.

“Carmen?” I called out, my heels clicking as I made my way down the hall. “Hellooo? Hello hello?” I called, hoping he’d open up the office door. My heart picks up again, I feel it in my throat. Pounding, booming. I try to swallow the thick thumping, but it doesn’t help. I hear a hard thump against Carmen’s office door, causing my eyebrows to furrow.

I get up to it, leaning in and I hear Carmen breathing, heavy and uncontrolled. I speak up, trying to find my confidence. He had invited me here. He wants me here.

He trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you…

Richie’s words of encouragement bounce around in my mind.

I took a deep breath, gently tapping on the door with my French tip.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go right back out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin-“

Carm POV;

**10 minutes before Winnie shows up**

I lean against the office door, eyes screwed shut, so tightly my forehead was beginning to cramp up as my hand shakes uncontrollably next to me, my wrist cracking with every violent flick. I was desperately trying to feel something, but my entire body was numb. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, tears burning my eyes and I roughly rub over my forehead and cheeks. Clawing at my hair and pulling tightly, to feel something, anything at all. “Fuckin - get it together, fuck!” I muttered, desperate, my nails digging into my forearm so hard that if I had any mind to me at this moment, I’d realize I was drawing blood. She would be here any second, the first - first girl, the only girl I have ever had the balls to ask out, and of course one of these - these - episodes.. Just had to come on - right now. I bump my head against the door in a futile attempt to ground myself, but it doesn’t work. I still feel fucking nothing.

All of a sudden, per usual to this bullshit- I’m transported back to New York, to Noma, in the bathroom, hurling my guts up before my regular night shift. The pang in my stomach though, was merciful compared to the fucking hell on earth that place was.

Then, I was on line, making Julianne cuts to a carrot for the 3rd time since the previous 2 were ‘obviously done by a blind ape’, or ‘disgustingly amateur’ as per what I can only presume is the words of the demonic human incarnate of every, single, sin, in any life, I’ve ever fucking lived, coming back in this one to haunt me in to my grave.

“You fucking stupid sack of shit” he seeths in my ear. “You are pure shit. Hear me? You are nothing motherfucker, you are a fucking shitstain on my name. I swear, at this rate? You get outta’ here? You are done, Hear me? DONE!!!” he barks in my ear so vociferous that it circumscribes the furthest corners of my mind, my knife slipping when I twitch slightly at the pain of the volume in my ear and it shreds into my skin, deep.

I hissed at the sting before the fire of pain, my hand jerking away on instinct and dropping the knife. It clattered to the floor loudly and before I could react he grabbed the collar of my whites brutely, dragging me somewhere, my feet stumbling and tripping over each other as he towed me like a ragdoll, before he was violently throwing me to the floor of the bathroom in a pathetic, bleeding heap. “Fucking pussy” he growled, digging his chef's clog in my side just enough to knock the remaining wind out of my lungs. “Clean yourself up, pathetic moron. There's fucking work to be done, or did you overlook that? You slothful, utterly useless, piece of garbage.” The door to the bathroom slams, and I’m left alone, my blood leaking into the tile. At least he didn’t spit on me this time.

My first thought isn’t if I need stitches, or of the unbelievable pain coursing through my hand and wrist - of course not, why would I ever think of myself first? Instead, it’s of the fact that my blood pool has already grown so large that it’s leaking into the grout of the restroom floor. And if it stains with the remnants of my stupid mistake, I am fucked, done, and utterly screwed. I scramble up, wincing lightly as I try to take a breath, a sharp ache going through my left lung where his shoe had dug in.

Suddenly, I’m ripped through the walls of space and time, the soft hum of the heater meeting my ears, as the sound of the sweetest voice I’d ever heard makes its way through the door, She’s here.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin- I also brought my book since you were just sooo interested earlier. Maybe you can take some tips from the bat-boys for your flirting skills, handsome.”

Her voice was like a tether, gently tugging me back into my body. It’s as if my soul snaps back into my physical self all at once, her words ringing through my mind like soothing white noise, not registering a single thing she’s saying, but relishing in the fact my feet were on the ground, and I was beginning to be able to feel them there again. I try to find focus on the sound of her sweet, sweet voice.

My face finally relaxes, and I force my eyes open. I’m back- Back at the bear. I let out a shaking sigh of relief, my entire body was trembling. Blood felt like it was pooling back into every one of my limbs in a tsunami. I suddenly felt so heavy, like I could just sink into the floor in a heap and die there.

“J-J-J” I stutter out, biting down on my cheek so hard I felt a sting of pain and the taste of metal filled my mouth, so embarrassed that I’m succumbing to my old habits, especially in front of her. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, finding my head, find your head, find it, find it Carmen.

I inhaled so deeply it felt for a moment like my lungs could pop like balloons, before focusing all of my energy into letting out the breath as controlled and light as I could, which finally centered me enough to be able to find my tongue. “Just One sec. M’ sorry” I managed to get out, rubbing over my face roughly to get rid of the remnants of any stray tears, before wiping my hands on my shirt and turning to open the door.

Before my mind and my….brain? Could process my actions, I was pulling the door open, pulling her into my chest, and nuzzling my face into her neck. I held her to me tightly, as if we were hanging off the very edge of the earth, and she was my only tether to reality. I took a deep breath, my knees feeling weaker at the intoxicating scent of her, Jasmine, rose, orange? Maybe grapefruit…and…Honey.

“Thank y’ for comin’, Winnie, I need a fuckin’ drink, now.” I mutter quietly into her supple skin.

Read Chapter 4 Here!

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naylor · 2 years

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you know what annoys me of the taylor swift album release cycle? the incessant, unnecessary comments the general public and even some people in the fandom make about how taylor "always victimises herself for no reason", or how she "loves to play the victim when she's just a rich popstar without real problems", and more recently that she "shouldn't use words like intrusive thoughts, trauma, and emotional abuse to talk about what's happened to her or her experiences with anxiety because she doesn't know what that's like". it fucking infuriates me.

taylor swift acts and writes like a victim because, quite simply, she's been made one, point black, end of the sentence. she should be allowed to write about her experiences with abuse, any type of abuse from any source, without people deciding for her if it was actually abusive or traumatic, or policing her choice of coping mechanism.

people's unwillingness to accept and acknowledge much of what taylor has gone through during her career as abuse and trauma is baffling to me because i honestly can't think of a term that describes it better.

she has been made fun of and ridiculised by the media since she was a child for doing things children and teenagers do (be naive about love, write about boys, go on dates, dress age appropriate), she's been slut shamed by everyone on the internet for dating a less than average amount, she's gone through public humiliation on a mass scale twice now (the first one when she was just nineteen) by a much older, well respected, established male artist, she has been abused by men both professionally and emotionally, she was made an example of what girls ought not to do or be lest you end up just like her, she's been isolated since childhood because she never felt she fit in with the rest.

she's gone through all of those things while at the same time being gaslighted (and i'm using this word in its original clinical meaning and not the internet meme one) into thinking none of that was as bad as she's making it out to be and she ended up okay so it can't have caused her real trauma because nothing happened, it was all fine and a joke. these are things we recognise as hurtful, abusive, and traumatic in other people but as soon as they're experienced by someone who copes with it through writing music she then sells for a profit then suddenly it's not and she's exaggerating it for attention.

she talks about herself in the same hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant, anxious way victims of abuse and survivors of high stress situations do and that's why her music resonates with so many of us who have been abused in the past as well, because she's putting into words things we experience on the daily and i genuinely don't think it's because she wants to. no one wants to go through those things and then go through a new cycle of humiliation every time you talk about your experiences just to make a few dollars.

it's maddening that the attitude most people take when discussing her trauma is to minimise it or straight up deny it because she was able to transform some of that pain into a #1 single

i don't ask people to sympathise or feel bad about her but to accept that we have agreed that online bullying and dog piling on a mass scale is abusive and traumatic, that women being taken advantage of by the male superiors is traumatic, that women being slut shamed for enjoying their sexuality is abusive and traumatic, that being in relationships where your partner is volatile is traumatic, that being coerced and manipulated into relationships with older men is abusive, that being retaliated against in public after revealing you were sexually assaulted is traumatic; so why should none of that apply to her? why is she not allowed to be vocal about being in all those situations without someone telling her she's not gone through actual trauma? why does everyone gets to decide for her whether or not she's actually been abused and if she can or cannot claim victimhood?

accepting taylor's abuse and her victimhood does nothing to take away from yours or that of others. accepting that she's allowed and entitled to discuss her experiences doesn't silence you. you don't have to like her but to dismiss her is disrespectful because when you do that you're not only dismissing her own experiences with abuse and trauma, but that of people in similar situations who empathise and identify with her.

TL;DR: taylor doesn't write about being a victim nearly as much as the people trying to discredit her work say she does, but if she did she would be entirely justified in it because she has been in a lot of situations where she's been victimised and abused by people who knew what they were doing to her and you don't get to decide if she was sufficiently traumatised by them or not. recognising taylor's experience with abuse does nothing to minimise or invalidate yours, two people can be abused in two different ways and doesn't mean one is less entitled to compassion. it's not a competition.

#turning off my anons in a minute because i know this post is gonna ruffle some feathers and i do not want to make it seem like any of what #i said here is up for discussion or debate. it's not. these are all facts and if you feel the need to debate facts then that's on you #everyone is up for believing and supporting victims until the victim is a successful woman who was able to turn the situation on its head #i am just so tired of people refusing to accept her experiences for what they are just because she's successful and rich #anyway....

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linskywords · 2 years

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Taylor Swift Meets Hockey RPF: A 2022 Advent Calendar

Hello friends. I’m so excited to announce the advent calendar you never knew you wanted: the countdown of the 25 ficciest Taylor Swift songs, specifically as they apply to hockey RPF!

We’ve long been aware here in the fic community that Ms. Swift’s lyrics provide excellent titles. But just how ficcy are her songs, really? I’ve set out to answer that question via an extremely scientific* ranking project that combines three things I love dearly: hockey RPF, Taylor Swift songs, and making ranked lists of things.

*It was not even a little bit scientific

If you share any of these interests, you may be asking the following questions:

Q. I’m so excited! But what does this advent calendar actually consist of?

A. What a good question. Every day I’ll do a write-up of one of the songs, starting with the least ficcy of the 25 on 12/1 and getting ficcier each day up until Christmas, when the ficciness will reach its peak and we’ll explode with the joy of repressed men pining for each other.

Q. Are you actually going to write a story for each song?

A. Hahaha no. But I am going to pick a pairing that I think fits the song the best and say a little about how their story would go, and if I get intrigued enough by any of it I might write the story eventually.

Q. You’re going to let us know which song lyrics you’d use to title the story, though, right?

A. Of course.

Q. How can I keep track of these posts?

A. This post will act as a master post as soon as I’ve started the countdown.

Q. How about a playlist so we can listen along?

A. I got you right here! It’s empty now, and I’ll add songs as soon as they’re revealed.

Q. But wait! There’s so much variety in fanfiction, even just within hockey RPF. What does “ficciest” actually mean?

A. The ficciness of each song has been determined via the extremely objective method of me thinking about it really, really hard. I’m not aiming for all of fandom here; my frame of reference is men’s hockey RPF, specifically slash, specifically the kinds of stories I most enjoy reading/writing.

Q. Isn’t that kind of arbitrary?

A. Shhhhhh.

Q. Okay but that means pining is going to be front and center, right?

A. Absolutely it does.

Q. So…you actually went through all of Taylor Swift’s discography for this?

A. Let’s just say my Spotify Wrapped is a little extreme this year.

Q. Aside from screwing your Spotify stats all to hell, did you come across any trends in the ficciness of her music that you’d like to share with us?

A. I’m so glad you asked! As part of determining the top 25, I rated every Taylor Swift song in her 10 studio albums (Taylor’s Version where available) on a scale of 0-10 for applicability to hockey RPF. Her albums ranked as follows:

Reputation (2017): 4.79 average ficciness rating

Lover (2019): 4.39

Taylor Swift (2006): 4

Speak Now (2010): 3.88

Red (2012): 3.55

Folklore (2020): 3.41

Fearless (2008): 3.4

Midnights (2022): 3.3

Evermore (2020): 3

1989 (2014): 2.77

Honestly I was pretty surprised by how this shook out. I expected ficciness to be at its peak in her first few albums, but nope. It was reasonably high at the start, and it did decline as she transitioned from country to pop with 1989, but then it shot up to new heights in Reputation and Lover. These are, not coincidentally, the two albums she wrote during and just after the start of her relationship with her current partner. This makes sense to me: the pining of the early albums is all well and good, but there are also a lot of songs about breakups, which did not do well in the ficciness ratings. After Lover, things went a little more as expected: the ficciness leveled off again, and her three most recent albums all ended up in the bottom half. Here's a fancy graph of the results:

That said, averages don’t tell you everything. Her first album is less ficcy than Lover on average but does far better in the top 25. Folklore is above Fearless by average rating, but it only has one song in the top 25 versus Fearless’s four. In fact, there were three albums that had only one song make it in, and 1989, least ficcy of them all, managed to squeak in twice. So “average ficciness” and “number of extremely ficcy songs” turned out to be very different stats.

Q. That's fun. Do you have any more charts?

A. I sure do! Here's one I made of how many songs came in at each rating from 1-10:

Basically, there were a lot of songs that weren't ficcy even a little bit, declining in number towards the mediocrely ficcy at 5. Then the count started going up again with songs that had enough ficcy content to be considered but maybe didn't quite hit the nail on the head. There were only a few songs that were real bullseyes.

When it came to narrowing things down, everything 7 and above got further consideration. About half the 7s made it, and almost all the 8s (there were a few I left out for various reasons). All the 9s and 10s got in.

Q. You’ve infected my brain with this, and now I’m curious how you’d rate this one song of hers I’m thinking about.

A. Shoot me an ask! If it isn’t in the top 25 I’ll answer with the ficciness rating I gave it and why.

Q. Thank you, this was exactly the extremely niche advent calendar I was hoping for this year.

A. Universal appeal, that’s my goal!

Day One: Speak Now Day Two: Blank Space Day Three: Sparks Fly Day Four: Girl at Home Day Five: Come Back...Be Here Day Six: 22 Day Seven: Breathe Day Eight: Willow Day Nine: Cruel Summer Day Ten: Long Live Day Eleven: I Know Places Day Twelve: I Think He Knows Day Thirteen: Snow On The Beach Day Fourteen: Peace Day Fifteen: Call It What You Want Day Sixteen: Fearless Day Seventeen: Untouchable Day Eighteen: I'm Only Me When I'm With You Day Nineteen: Invisible Day Twenty: Gorgeous Day Twenty-One: Dress Day Twenty-Two: Treacherous Day Twenty-Three: Teardrops On My Guitar Day Twenty-Four: I'd Lie Day Twenty-Five: You Belong With Me

#honestly i have no idea why i did this but i got SO INTO IT #please feast on the fruits of my weirdness #advent 2022 #ficciest taylor #masterpost #hockey rpf #taylor swift #thanks chartgo.com for those charts

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livvyofthelake · 2 years

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be controversial. rank midnights. <3

well since you asked <3 i like to group them into categories. 1) overhyped and quickly lost their shine to me. 2) overrated by swifties because they’re specific to miss taylor’s life. but can’t be related to anything else, you know, the way you’re supposed to do with music :/ 3) hidden gems everyone overlooks. and 4) grew on me like a strange mold or fungus

high infidelity- everybody knows i love this song and i love cheating and infidelity. literally your picket fence is sharp as knives. do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life…. insane song. if julian fellowes heard this he’d spontaneously explode (<- guy who has normal feelings and no resentment about british drama downton abbey and it’s creator voice)

the great war- literally i didn’t appreciate her in the beginning i was so foolish i was so naive… literally all that bloodshed crimson clover uh huh sweet dream was over my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the great war… i love that she compared fighting with your lover to world war one. someone should make a riverdale core four amv to this

snow on the beach- i love this song right now. it’s simple it’s nice it’s a lovely little love song and lana del ray is doing her moan-singing in the background what’s not to like! also it makes me think about merlin and morgana which causes my brain to short circuit. i overlooked her when the album first came out but i’m back now i should never have left her…

question- i swear to god i’m not being biased because this one also makes me think of merlin and morgana. however it does. anyway i actually always liked this one but i forgot about it for a few weeks there and now i want to listen to it on repeat…

glitch- i love glitch. everybody hates glitch idk what y’all’s problem is i think glitch is fun. also it’s about my buddy kit herondale. if you even care. i don’t however like it as much as i did before i started listening to the above songs again. but i’ve always been a glitch defender

sweet nothing- i think it’s a nice and lovely little song <3 however i hate the parts that are Taylor Specific. but in general i like this song a lot, i remember saying when i first heard it it was a jabitha song and like. so true me it IS a jabitha song… they said the end is coming everyone’s up to something but all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing…..

lavender haze- i didn’t like this one initially because it felt too self referential but the “i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say” line goes crazy. i love how she sings that line i love the play on words i love how real it is. we literally are all damned if we do give a damn what people say….

vigilante shit- VERY much suffers from being too much about taylor’s life however it grew on me and EYE think it’s fun. also i am going to make a morgana amv to this. sorry i’ve literally mentioned morgana so many times already but what can i say midnights is a very morgana album to me

mastermind- mal descendants swag… i haven’t listened to this one much since the early days but i didn’t grow to dislike it at all it’s fine it’s just not my favorite

paris- i hate this song. i also am obsessed with it. it’s so complex. all i really know is that i actively seek out listening to this more than most on the album.

you’re on your own kid- has some good stuff going on but in general this is another Specific To Taylor’s Situation song and i don’t like that!!! i hate that so much of her music is unable to be applied to anything but her life it’s narcissistic and masturbatory and ridiculous. and swifites eat it up because they’re functionally in a cult. however the first couple lines of the bridge make me insane so.

karma- i don’t mind this song but i rarely seek it out to listen. also i hate when she says “spider boy” girl what are you even talking about there and are you sure there were no other words you could have used?

anti-hero- very much a taylor swift lead single in the sense that it is bad! i loved it at first honestly but i think swifties and tiktok made it so annoying and insufferable it ruined it for me and now i’m like ughhh yeah girl i get it you’re the anti hero whatever. i don’t hate it it’s a fun song. it’s a very blorbo song to me also obviously, but it’s also kind of annoying and also there was a period of like two weeks where i kept getting this ad on spotify with this song but it was just the part where she repeats it’s me hi i’m the problem it’s me and it just kept repeating and it made me lose my mind a little. i considered starting to pay for spotify because of that ad.

bejeweled- i liked this one and then taylor made it a single and i kept hearing it on tiktok and now i think it’s mildly annoying. it’s fun don’t get me wrong i still like it but. well you know what i mean

bigger than the whole sky- kind of a nothing song tbh. i remember really liking it back when it came out but what the hell was i thinking… i skip it so fast now…

midnight rain- kind of a nothing song to me. what the hell are you even talking about taylor. also jack antonoff’s production here pisses me off. it feels like she named the album midnights and THEN wrote this song to fit the theme and i don’t care if that’s true that’s how it feels and i don’t like it.

maroon- i. don’t like maroon. it’s lame to me. i liked it at first but the shine wore off now it’s just like. what the fuck does it even mean? outside the obvious red reference it’s a nothing meaning and it’s lame. i love that it features cheating tho!

would’ve could’ve should’ve- TERMINAL Specific To Taylor’s Situation disease!!! also i really don’t like the way the transition between the pre-chorus and the chorus sounds. i like the beginning when she’s singing in a deeper voice but as soon as she jumps to the higher pitch i hate it so much. i also don’t vibe when taylor tries to write religious metaphors. she’s not good at it and i can tell she didn’t grow up going to church every sunday and is mainly just culturally christian. taylor you’re not ethel cain stop trying to do religious references in your lyrics.

labyrinth- i literally listened to this once and i never want to do it again. boring! lame! i literally don’t even give enough of a shit to try to remember what it was even about. all i know is that when it comes on i press skip

dear reader- i don’t think i ever listened to this all the way through. it bored me to my core and it just immediately felt like a Specific To Taylor song and i didn’t care to find out. idk what the songs even about and i never want to because i don’t care <3

#this is of course subject to change in another few months when the album is more than twoish months old #asks #subarubajafanclub

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rubiatinctorum · 2 years

Text

listening to the 2006 taylor swift homophobic CD for the meme. thoughts:

the first three songs are BAD. they're bad.

insert picture to burn homophobia here. "shade never made anybody less gay" but she sure tried in 2006 to prove the difference

DREW DON'T CAARE

a place in this world is on thin ice bc my friend says it could apply to a book i really like. its fine. it's nothing to call home about but it's fine

why is cold as you quieter than all of the other songs so far. did anyone look at the mixing for this CD before putting it on the market. shame bc its the best song so far but maybe thats the nostalgia talking

with a debut album like this who needs a flop era

whatever this sixth song is sounds like it would be fun to sing while drunk with friends, just because of those notes in the chorus that flick upwards. also very cheesy. dear god this album is so cheesy please stop im lactose intolerant

am i halfway through this already

ooh a duet? with whom? probably one of those Country Music Television lads from back in the day no?

this song isn't bad. i forget which one we're on. it's not bad. tim mcgraw set my expectations really low you see

there's this next song (stay beautiful?) that the verses are sooooooo bad but the chorus is fun. taylor could write chorus melodies only in this era i think. nothing else is good but by god those choruses sound a bit fun that it kinda rots my hater soul a bit

good evening rubia. you said you own the homophobic edition of the taylor swift 2006 cd. before you you will find 45 free minutes and a CD player, if you bop in your seat a bit and admit some of these songs sound fun, a mallet will come down on your head blasting your brains to bits immediately. listen wisely

do i hear a fiddle? the fiddler is carrying this

OH i recognise this what the fuck is it. i remember this what's the name??? should've said no? the chorus is the best part once again, the verses are hard to get through. 6/10 it's listenable and she doesn't bitch about gay people in this one (i think i'm not reading the lyrics to this)

i'm starting to regret deciding to listen to this whole CD.

I'll never sin again please make it stop

I need to stop being sober

THE BEGINNING OF MARY'S SONG IS . I DON'T LIKE THAT!

they use this CD to brainwash people into becoming conservatives but it's not going to work on me it's not

"Yeah rubia like your politics were any better than this in 2006." they were actually. i was a six year old but i was a six year old with standards

i could turn this off at any time and delete this post draft and no one would know. there's still time to save myself

oh thank god the fiddler is back. OUR SONG!?!? not the worst song, not the best. nostalgia is assisting me through this one. at least it's kinda fun. at least she's having fun. see i can be a joyful person

never mind the bridge in this one is kinda weak. hey at least it's also short

i survived this CD. don't ever make me do this ever again

#rubia speaks #taylor swift CD (homophobic edition)#music review #stans don't hate me im taking the piss is all i'm doing

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chaosandstardust · 2 years

Note

i did not care for taylor swift, her brand, music, life or anything, or even like any of it really, until i found out the rumors and analyses. because her songs were always so boy crazy and gave me an ick which was not relatable for me, like, girl, you're older than me and even i have more life than you, how?! grow up?! you're a millionaire stop being so obsessed with the random boys you date for three months and then break up, it's not that serious, especially not EVERY time.

i will say the queer analyses of her songs make them SO much more meaningful to the point where i actually started to listen to her. for example, to my ear, it makes so much more sense to listen to how you get the girl for instance, and understand that as a guide she wrote for herself, because she's the one that messed up and wants whoever that other person is back, instead of being desperate to get a guy back but having to play weird dating games before she can allow him to come back. and learning how over the top taylor tends to be about a lot of things, yes it makes perfect sense to me that she's the one that would be standing at the door explaining herself IN THE FREAKIN RAIN to be overdramatic and true lol. i bet she even had the boombox to truly make it a movie moment.

jasdklfjadslkjfkldsjaf;kl WHAT? Like you're allowed to have your own readings but what? lmao. have you spoken to straight women who date men? Have you watched romance movies? They're full of overdramatic, often hetero romance, and women eat it up (as they should). Do you actually think How To Get the Girl literally happened, lol? do you think her music is 1 for 1 representation of who she is as a person? What a weird song to choose???? i mean i agree that it's overdramatic but I think it's meant to be?

and

"girl, you're older than me and even i have more life than you, how?! grow up?! you're a millionaire stop being so obsessed with the random boys you date for three months and then break up, it's not that serious, especially not EVERY time."

Taylor was SIXTEEN when she released her first album. SIXTEEN. That is prime time for over dramatics and boy craziness, and that's the reason women and girls related to her. She wrote about how she was feeling as a young woman dating throughout her twenties, and as a person who has been listening to her since literally her first album, she's been pretty on the mark the whole time. The last time she wrote explicitly about breakups in her album was when Red came out, and she was 20 - 22 writing that. So yeah, she was DRAMATIC. You would not be able to handle me now much less me at 21 if you think that that was overdramatic. 😂

Art is meant to be overdramatic and full of feelings. MINE is! I'm literally 25, and I feel things so hard still and I've been heartbroken many times. The best art is made by people who are fully present in their own feelings. Men write all the time about their short-term relationships and one-night stands, and they've NEVER gotten this level of vitriol. And you had to decide that she was GAY before taking her seriously as an artist?

I say this as a queer woman myself: if the only way you can enjoy art is if you relate to your own very specific experiences onto the artist, that's a YOU problem. If she has to be singing about women for you to respect her, what the fuck? I can enjoy her music but I'm very aware that she is probably not singing about women.

Taylor is singing about men, you're just gonna have to cope. If you want to apply your own sapphic readings onto the material, it's about your readings, not the artist themselves. Once you start to apply your own personal feelings to the material, it's separating the art from the artist, bestie.

Taylor talking about "easter eggs" has very little to do with her personal life. Easter eggs are about her work, like using colours to signify an album release or putting a title in a music video. Christ. Listen to some actual sapphic artists, I beg you or go out and say this to a normal person, I beg.

#taylor swift #anti gaylor #this is why nobody likes swifties #or fandoms in generaal #swifties #art #media criticism

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omegalomania · 3 years

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I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

#askin hours #anon #bastille #ill put this in the bastille tag why not #this is predominantly a fall out boy blog but if any bastille bloggers are out there....all like 20 of you....#i see the work u do in this fandom and i love u for it

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scribblingfangirl · 4 years

Text

WITH LOVE, THE GHOSTS | Julie and The Phantoms - Part Two

not my gif!

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

Author’s Note: Somebody on Wattpad asked if they could get ‘a part two where she like meets them and they still do kind stuff?’ I really liked that idea, so this little part is a filler (their meeting) so that I can fullfill the request in a third and final part. Enjoy! :D

word count: ~ 1.4k

summary: You finally meet the boys. Obviously, chaos ensues.

warnings: // (english is not my first language, not beta-read)

| Part One | Part Three |

.•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•..•´¯`•.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You knew that Julie wouldn’t judge you, not after the year she had. But honestly, after hearing that Flynn was almost going to egg her house after finding out about the Swedish hologram boys you were very inclined to just shake your head and forget about it all. Even if the note from Reggie, Alex and Thing Three had been burning a hole into your pocket.

Needless to say that it had been a very weird winter break. But you were still kind of disappointed when nothing happened on New Year.

Nevertheless, you closed your locker and turned around to look at Julie and Flynn while they approached you. “Does a flying pen called Reggie and a computer that suddenly decides to cheer me up called Alex and a third something, temporarily called Chicken Scratch, do as well?” you asked and took the note out of your pocket, hoping it would come out as comedically rather than insane.

At first, nothing happened and Julie and Flynn just stared at you. Then Julie ripped the little paper out of your hand and quickly unfolded it.

Almost afraid you smiled at them nervously when they looked back up at you, expecting everything and yet nothing at the same time. Which is why you weren’t quite sure what to make from Julie and Flynn’s reaction. Sighing they both looked at each other and whisper-shouted: “Reggie!”

“Reggie… as in the pen? You’re calling my pen?” Bewildered, you looked at your two best friends. Okay so maybe they did think you’ve lost it. ‘Retreat, retreat! Make a final joke about it and let it slide!’ “ I think you kind of forgot the magic word ‘Accio’ beforehand. Accio Reggie, you know? And don’t forget to swish and flick it guys or else it might blow up in your face,” you giggled nervously. ‘Nope, that wasn’t it.’

But instead of going into it, Julie suddenly seemed busy staring angrily at a locker just to their right and making weird eyebrow movements towards it, while Flynn just swung an arm around your shoulder and pulled you with her.

“I think it’s time that we, or rather Julie, told you something. But, first things first, you know that egging your best friends house isn’t the solution, right?”

Correction: They lost it. Not you, they! Ghosts. Forking 90s ghosts they said.

Because apparently Reggie, Alex and Luke (not Who or Thing Three - just a ghost with a very terrible handwriting, Flynn couldn’t stop giggling and said something about the Fat Ones?) were exactly that - forking 90s ghosts. You almost snorted into your cereal and inhaled the milk when Julie told you that after arriving home from school.

“Sure. Ghosts are wishing me a Merry Christmas. What’s next? Did I miss Michael Jackson wishing me a Happy New Year and will Elvis Presley be serenading me on Valentine’s Day?”

“Wait... Michael Jackson died?! When? Ah damn... I barely had time to listen to his 9nth album before we died!”

“Dude... First Star Wars, now this? What exactly are you doing when we aren’t rehearsing?”

“Not screaming in a museum, but I did say dibs on the shower… the rubber duckies are just too cute to ignore!”

“You use them in a bath Reggie, not the shower!”

Obviously, you couldn’t hear them but you did see the eye-roll Julie gave the thin air before turning back to you. “Sorry to disappoint but no. Michael and Elvis are dead.”

Silence fell upon you three six.

Ending the silence by eating your (crunchy) cereal, you swallowed and said, “Yeah fun fact, the adjective dead literally appears in the definition of ghosts. That’s kind of what makes them ghosts. Being dead. So… what makes your buddies so special?”

Silence. Again. (Well, for you. Julie was listening to two ghosts chasing each other around the kitchen ‘STOP IT REGINALD!’ while the third one was sitting by your side, face in his hands, eyeing your cereal wistfully and sighing.)

Taking a deep breath Julie pushed her hands away from her body. “We don’t know. But we would like to show you. So... Boys, Garage. Now! Girls, Garage. Please,” she said, waving her hand to the backdoor.

Opening the garage door a few moments later and gesturing at the couch and chairs Julie said, “Please sit down. The band will be with us shortly.”

“Uh!”, you said excited, clapping your hands. Might as well go along with it. Worst case scenario? All three of you will go visit Dr. Turner. Best case scenario? Well… best case scenario the boys ghosts are real and you will be sleeping with one eye open from now on. But honestly, how bad can that be? They have a good taste in Christmas music after all. “What are we going to hear? Panic! At the Disco? Taylor Swift?”

“No no no. They only do originals. Now come on, Mama needs her eye candy. Oh, and watch it. Reggie needs space to rock out,” Flynn told you as she guided you to the couch.

“Look at that! She listens and learns!” Julie giggled and sat behind the keyboard. “Let’s do it the old fashioned way. Y/N, this is Flying Solo.”

Well, they were real. Or as real as ghosts can be.

“Yeah… quick question. Why am I always the one who gets probed?” the dark-haired bassist asked after your hand passed through his shoulder.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I should have asked first.”

“Ah don’t worry. It was nice actually. Now I know that you have a kind heart.”

The shaggy-haired guitarist snorted, accidentally strumming his guitar a little too hard. “And an endless black pit as a stomach.”

“And you know that why?” Julie asked with her hands crossed in front of her chest.

“He watches her eat the sandwiches he makes for her. He finds it cute when she giggles at the Nutella faces he paints onto them," the bassist answered for the guitarist.

“You make her sandwiches… with Nutella faces?! Why don’t I get those?!” "You watch me while I eat?!" Julie and you screamed out at the same time.

“Chill out you both! You," Flynn said pointing at you, "get free food! But watch it, they did die by eating poisoned hot dogs, so don't trust them entirely. And you!" She moved over to Julie, "You get eye candy 24/7! I should be the one to complain! I don’t get anything and I am your manager!”

Blushing the brown-haired boy averted his eyes and muttered, “I don’t remember agreeing to that." (Because of course that would be the point he would focus on.) "You booked us a school dance after all!” Feeling and then seeing their indignant looks he quickly retreated. “Which we are still very, very sorry for missing out on! A… and and the band name you came up with is really great Flynn!”

Throwing her hair back and squinting her eyes, Flynn gave him a joking glare. “You pass. Barely. I’m still watching you.”

“Okaaaay so, judging by your looks and your attitude I’d say… you're Chicken Scratch, right?”

“HEY!” And then more quietly, “My name’s Luke.”

You nodded. “You deserve it. So, Luke, I guess it's nice to meet you.”

“So today is ‘Make fun of Luke’-day?”

“Oh… that’s only today? Sorry, I must’ve missed that memo. I thought that was every day.”

You giggled and turned to the drummer who had just spoken. “Alex, right?”

The blond guy nodded smirking while continuing to quietly drum.

“Then you must be Reggie!” you smiled at the bassist again. “I heard Kayla talk about you to Carrie on a few occasions.”

As he dropped his bass the last thing you saw or heard from Reggie was an excited, “Girls talk about me? Take that Alex!” Then he puffed out of existence.

“Reggie, you do realize that my ‘they can’t tip what they can’t see’ statement still applies here, right?” Alex said sighing and mouthed, “I’m sorry” in your direction, before flinching and puffing out of existence as well.

“They don’t have to tip me, Alex, they just have to like me!” Luke imitated Reggie sarcastically, shaking his head and raising his eyebrows while eyeing the thin air.

“Wow! Watch it!”

But Julie’s warning came too late. With a ‘whooosh’ and followed by a dull pain one of Alex’s drumsticks flew through the air and hit your head. “Ow!”

“Oi boys! Stop it!” And with that Luke vanished as well.

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bananaofswifts · 4 years

Text

By Jeff Opperman

Mr. Opperman is the global lead freshwater scientist for the World Wildlife Fund. He is the first author of the book “Floodplains.”

I had just started to scrub the sheet pan when I saw the glare from across the sink.

“Dad, that is so loud!”

Then, to her friend on the laptop Skype screen: “Sorry, my dad is now a huge Taylor Swift fan.”

My daughter is used to me wading into a pile of dishes to the soundtrack of my teen years — usually Bruce Springsteen or the Replacements. She seemed somewhat irritated that her father — a 50-year-old conservation scientist — had strayed from his musical lane.

Well, why not? Americans of all ages know that Ms. Swift is one of the most successful, influential pop stars of all time. She has won 10 Grammy Awards and is up for six more in this year’s competition. (The winners will be announced at a ceremony on Sunday night.) She surprised her millions of adoring fans with two unannounced albums in 2020 — “Folklore” and “Evermore.” Both received critical acclaim for their storytelling and production, but I heard another reason to celebrate them: They are filled with the language and images of the natural world.

The language of nature has been steadily draining from the vocabulary of our culture. With these sister albums, Ms. Swift pushes back hard on that trend.

On the albums, nature has primacy of place from the beginning: their cover art, with photography that shifts with the seasons like the menu of a farm-to-table restaurant. Recorded in the spring, “Folklore” finds Ms. Swift dwarfed by trees in a foggy vernal forest. On “Evermore,” recorded in the fall, we look over Ms. Swift’s shoulder to a stubbly field, bare trees in the distance reflecting the last glow of an autumnal sunset.

Both were recorded during the seemingly endless quarantine and isolation of 2020, and with these cover photos, Ms. Swift seems to be turning to nature for connection and solace.

The albums’ lyrics abound with references to nature: “running like water,” “Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park,” “You’ll poke that bear till her claws come out,” “Long limbs and frozen swims/You’d always go past where our feet could touch.”

There are stars, crescent moons, sunrises and sunsets, eclipsed suns, Saturn, comets and auroras, amber skies and purple-pink skies. There are cliffs and precipices and rabbit holes to trip on. Plants grow in the background — bushes, trees, grass, clover, willows and wisteria — and in two songs, ivy or other vegetation grows over characters. The passage of time is marked by wildest winters, spring breaking loose, salty-air summers, autumn chill and gray Novembers. There is snow and cold hands.

An emotional gulf between characters is the “sea you put between us.” Reunions take place “at our old spot, in the tree line.” Tears spill out as “acid rain on the pillow.”

As I’m a conservation scientists, not a music critic, I had to apply some rigor to this claim about the nature of Ms. Swift’s writing. So I analyzed the lyrics of the 32 songs on “Folklore” and “Evermore” and the lyrics of the first 32 songs from the Today’s Top Hits playlist on Spotify. The result? Ms. Swift uses nature-themed words seven times as frequently as the other pop songs do.

Aside from the poetic and aesthetic pleasure all this brings, does it really matter? I think so.

Our culture has experienced a steady and dramatic decline in its connections to nature. American children now spend an average of only four to seven minutes per day playing outdoors, compared with over seven hours per day in front of a screen. By now, they are far better at identifying corporate logos than native plants or animals; they can tell the difference between an Apple and a Coke, but not a maple from an oak.

A 2017 scientific paper published by the Association for Psychological Science reported that nature-themed words were losing ground in our pop culture. Researchers surveyed song lyrics, books and movie scripts and found that words associated with nature have declined steadily since 1950. During that time, the loss of nature words was most pronounced in songs. The scientists scanned the lyrics of 6,000 songs and found that the frequency of nature-themed words had declined by 63 percent. The researchers posit that as we lose our daily connection to nature, we think and write about it less often. Conservationists see these cultural declines as both symptoms of and contributors to many trends reflecting the decline of actual nature.

Against the backdrop of these declines, consider the song “Seven.” In its accompanying video, we see a grainy home movie of a young girl playing in trees as Ms. Swift sings:

Please, picture me in the trees

I hit my peak at 7

Feet in the swing over the creek

I was too scared to jump in

But I, I was high in the sky

With Pennsylvania under me

Are there still beautiful things?

Here, she packs in nature references at a dizzying clip while evoking the landscape of the state where she grew up. The girl in this song does not spend just four to seven minutes outside each day. Rather, nature, childhood and friendship are all intertwined and seared deep in memory.

In Ms. Swift’s lyrics, nature is not remote. It can also be suburban, even urban, and thus familiar and accessible. The backyards where little kids explore creeks become places to party for high schoolers. She name-checks two urban parks: the High Line in Manhattan and Centennial Park in Nashville, her adopted hometown.

Songs like this — in which nature is a place to bond, seek solace or just hang out — may be even more needed than songs that preach about saving it. Because this is not nature as a living (what I do) but simply nature as part of daily life. And that is what we are missing.

Ms. Swift’s songs aren’t going to reverse climate change or the decline of wildlife. But they are a step toward reversing the decline of nature in pop culture, and that matters. If we want to change the world to safeguard nature, and ourselves, we first have to see it. Art can do that.

As I finished the dishes, the song “Seven” came on, with this line evoking an undomesticated childhood: “Please picture me in the weeds. Before I learned civility, I used to scream ferociously.” And I saw my daughter — at the table, working hard as a high school junior — transformed back into her unkempt, tiny form of dirty knees and wild hair. “Hey, that was you,” I told her.

Her eyes gleamed, “Still is.”

Jeff Opperman is the global lead freshwater scientist for the World Wildlife Fund. He is the first author of the book “Floodplains” and a regular contributor to the energy and sustainability sections of Forbes.com.

#taylor swift #folklore #cool #ny times

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ninetynineroses · 3 years

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[7] My Biggest Concerns in the Music Industry

(Everything here is my strictly my opinion)

CDs going extinct: Yes, we live in a generation where vinyls and cassettes are back in style. But if you actually stop to think about it, Spotify, Soundcloud, Apple Music,etc. Are all dominating the market right now. Most current/newer models of cars no longer support CD players. So more or less now, if you want to listen to music in your car it’s via bluetooth or aux cord. Yes there are still places across the world where they still sell the physical CD copy of an album. But most people find it inconvenient to buy money on a physical CD that you have to carry around in order to play music, when you could get a $5 Spotify Premium membership and listen to thousands of songs at the reach of your own fingertips. Not only that, these memberships are way more affordable and you get more out of it. I personally collect CDs and depending on how long the record has been out, type of verison it is (Deluxe, Ultimate,etc. Cost more compared to the standard version on an album) who’s selling it like the store, and if it’s a Western or Eastern CD the price may vary. For example if I want to buy Justin Bieber’s 2012 album, “Believe” it’s $10 USD on Amazon but if I go to like FYE for example it may be $5 USD. Not only that you need to take care of the physical CD, and you need to buy a CD player if you already have one. (Of course gaming consoles like Xbox will let you play your CDs, and same thing with DVD players and computers if they have a Disc tray). If you want to buy a BTS CD for example the same thing applies like the Justin Bieber CD expect, it may be harder to find the version you want, you may have to pay more since it’s being exported and printed from S.Korea while Western CDs are printed in America. If you are a CD collector like myself you need to buy something in which you can safely store your CDs, there are plenty of CD shelves online. The only issue is that when you fill up all of the slots you need to buy another one. I have a good size one, and it can be stacked with others.

Social media’s influence on the music industry: Especially in the K-POP world, social media’s influence has to do with a lot. (Ex. WayV’s Lucas situation) The things people say on the internet can make or break one’s career. I feel like not everyone understands how powerful they are. Also part of it has to do with cancel culture which in itself is very toxic, especially with Gen Z..I will admit some of the things that my generation (Gen Z) is cancelling should be stuff that should be brought to bigger attention, others I feel like is just stupid. With this cancel culture, there’s no way you can have a clean slate anymore. Also social media plays a big role in award show voting. There’s several award shows that I can just name on the top of my head that use social media as a form of voting. For example let’s say you want Taylor Swift to win “Artist of the Year'' the award show may make up a hashtag like, #VoteTaylorSwift and the award shows would use that to tally up the votes, compared to a website (yes there are still a lot of award shows that still use websites as a form of voting).

Radio stations,talk shows,etc. Take advantage of fandoms: A big one when I bring this up is BTS. No doubt about it, ARMY are protective of the members solely because they (ARMY) has seen BTS being taken advantage of. When I made the post about the GRAMMYs I explained why the 2021 GRAMMYs took advantage of BTS and their massive following which lead the show to have a massive amount of fans tuning in. But BTS aren’t just the only ones who get taken advantage of due to their following, countless artists have.There are alot of media shows out there where a celebrity was on and you could tell the questions that were being asked (or sometimes jokes) obviously made the celebrity uncomfortable. Not only that, you could tell the (i see this most in TV talk shows) host doesn’t know anything or hasn’t listened to the album in which the celebrity is coming onto their show to promote. If I was a talk show host / personality I would be educated before I interview someone or have someone come onto my show. It’s pretty obvious that I have HUGE respect for people who take the time to educate themselves before having an interview with the artist.

Record / Management Companies taking advantage of the artist: In both the East and West, this is something that I feel like both sides of the world share. Of course there are good companies that take good care of their artists. But those who abuse / take advantage of their artists honestly ruin it for the good ones. If you’re an outsider looking in (meaning you don’t study fan culture, or aren’t in a fandom,etc.) you may think everyone in the music industry is bad, since those stories get a lot of media traction. A big example to that is the Scooter Braun v. Taylor Swift drama that has led to Swift re-releasing her first six albums. Another example that didn’t get that much media coverage was One Direction, Fifth Harmony, and Little Mix v. Simon Cowell (I could do a whole post explaining each group individually). He (Cowell) formed these groups from the X Factor franchise, One Direction and Little Mix from the UK’s version and Fifth Harmony from the American. Little Mix took a stab at Cowell with their song, “Not a pop song.” Fifth Harmony, there was a lot of favoritism between Camela Cabello and the rest of the girls, since Cowell really wanted to put his full attention on her compared to everyone else. Hints to why she’s the one who’s really popular compared to the other girls. One Direction, when the group went on their “18th month hiatus” Louis Tomlinson released an album with Syco (Simon’s Record Label) and on July 11th, 2020 he left the record label. I do remember this day clearly, it felt like a big victory for everyone. A Lot of artists and fans were praising him for leaving. As of Nov. 15th 2021, everyone except for Niall isn’t under Simon. Niall is still sticking around due to his high position in Cowell’s agent’s golf company, Modest! Golf.

The music industry gets so saturated to where it’s not authentic anymore: I see this happening to K-POP more than anything. There’s SO many groups debuting with all of these big companies, it’s going to get to a point where this industry can’t handle so many people at once. There can only be two thrones, one for the king and other for the queen. Not 40 kings and one throne.

#musicindustry #kpop #bts #onedirection

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jaimehwatson · 3 years

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I made another Snowpiercer playlist!

After posting my Wilford/Audrey playlist a while ago, I added some songs that didn’t quite make the cut to a different playlist, intending to put together another similar one. But rather than focusing on just one ship this time, I also ended up getting really interested in theorizing about what Wilford’s relationship with Melanie might have been like before the Freeze, and exploring the idea that maybe there was something going on there and some kind of love triangle with Audrey.

So here’s my new playlist, full of absolute jams that could apply to any combination of relationships involving Wilford, Audrey, and Melanie, and/or just general Snowpiercer vibes! Read on for more detail about the songs I selected, and as before, content warning for references to canon abuse & self-harm/suicide.

1. “The Tradition” by Halsey

Oh, the loneliеst girl in town Was bought for plenty a price Well, they dress her up in golden crowns His smile hides a lie

She smiles back, but it's a fact That her fear will eat her alive Well, she got the life that she wanted But now all she does is cry

Thanks @onetrainsnowpiercer for getting me into this excellent album! I thought it would be fitting to kick off the playlist with one that could suit the earlier days of Wilford’s relationship with Audrey, like my previous playlist was more focused on.

2. “cardigan” by Taylor Swift

'Cause I knew you Steppin' on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy, I

I knew you Leavin' like a father Running like water, I And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

Did you think I would make a Snowpiercer playlist without Taylor Swift on it? Not a chance. I picture this one being more from Melanie’s perspective, reflecting on possibly having had some kind of ill-fated romance with Wilford when she was young and naive.

3. “No Children” by The Mountain Goats

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow I hope it bleeds all day long Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises We're pretty sure they're all wrong

I hope it stays dark forever I hope the worst isn't over And I hope you blink before I do And I hope I never get sober

The only reason this perennial favourite of mine wasn’t on the first playlist was that I had too many Mountain Goats songs already and wanted to keep things balanced. But this one got all the ones that didn’t make it to the first playlist plus some more I thought about later, so I’m kind of giving up on that balance by now. They just have a lot of great songs about terrible relationships, and I love them all so much.

4. “Gold Guns Girls” by Metric

I remember when we were gambling to win Everybody else said, "Better luck next time." I don't wanna bend like the bad girls bend I just wanna be your friend Is it ever gonna be enough?

This is another one that I can picture being about young Melanie, gradually growing more aware of everything that’s terribly wrong with Wilford and his approach to life, and of how little he cares to try to fix it.

5. “You’ve Haunted Me All My Life” by Death Cab for Cutie

And there's a flaw in my heart's design For I keep trying to make you mine

You've haunted me all my life You've haunted me all my life You are the mistress I can't make a wife And you've haunted me all my life

And this one I can see being Wilford thinking about either one of the women, and his unhealthy attachment to them and inability to keep them around for very long—maybe once he’s finally reunited with them both on some level in season 2, but still can’t fully persuade them both over to his side.

6. “Old College Try” by The Mountain Goats

From the cities to the swamplands From the highways to the hills Our love has never had a leg to stand on From the aspirins to the cross-tops to the Elavils

But I will walk down to the end with you If you will come all the way down with me

Another Mountain Goats classic. If you divorce it from its context of being from a concept album about a horrible marriage, I actually think this song is kind of sweet in the way it describes a couple still committing to try to make things work despite a whole host of problems. But never mind that now, because I’m putting it back in the new context of a whole collection of horrible romantic relationships!

7. “Risk” by Metric

So you're beaten up but you bounce back It’s all part of the pull And the story runs like a soundtrack We repeat 'til we're full Started slow, started late Started strong, then we lost faith Started slow, started to lose control The more we accelerate, the more we accelerate

Half of arranging any playlist I make is just trying to split up the Mountain Goats and Metric songs so that they aren’t always clumped together. Anyway, this one seems especially fitting to me in its imagery of a speeding vehicle of some kind (it’s a train, I’m always picturing a train) alongside its description of a relationship going badly.

8. “Big God” by Florence + The Machine

You know I still like you the most The best of the best and the worst of the worst Well, you can never know The places that I go I still like you the most You'll always be my favourite ghost

I think this one could be any one of the three of them contemplating their complex feelings about the past at some point around season 2.

9. “I Still Do” by The Cranberries

I don't want to leave you Even though I have to I don't want to love you Oh, I still do

There aren’t as many specifics that match the characters going on in the lyrics here, since it’s more of just a general break-up song, but I also really like the creepy way it sounds.

10. “Fault Lines” by The Mountain Goats

But none of the money we spend Seems to do us much good in the end I got a cracked engine block, both of us do

Yeah, the house and the jewels, the Italian racecar They don't make us feel better about who we are I got termites in the framework, so do you

This one feels really fitting for pre-Freeze Wilford, especially the engine imagery!

11. “I Don’t Care” by Fall Out Boy

Say my name and his in the same breath I dare you to say they taste the same Let the leaves fall off in the summer And let December glow in flames

Erase myself and let go Start it over again in Mexico These friends, they don't love you They just love the hotel suites

Another song that is simply a) an absolute jam, and b) generally fitting for my favourite obscenely rich asshole and his terrible relationships

12. “You asked for this” by Halsey

I want my cake on a silver platter I want a fistful in my hands I want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter I wanna ruin all my plans I want a fist around my throat I wanna cry so hard, I choke I want everything I asked for

This one I can picture as Audrey—or maybe Melanie too, but especially Audrey—beginning to regret getting involved with Wilford, but only once she’s in way too deep for leaving to be a safe or easy decision.

13. “my tears ricochet” by Taylor Swift

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

Much like several other Taylor Swift songs, I just know in my heart that it’s the type of music Wilford listens to in secret, while possibly drunk and definitely singing along very dramatically. This one he dedicates to Melanie once they’ve met up again in season 2.

14. “Speed the Collapse” by Metric

All the way from where we came Built a mansion in a day Distant lightning, thunder claps Watched our neighbor's house collapse Looked the other way

This one has a lot of good apocalyptic imagery that I can imagine scoring Wilford’s life in the last few years before the Freeze, as he makes his plans to save himself and let so many others die.

15. “Ox Baker Triumphant” by The Mountain Goats

I will thank my ride and crawl my way back inside To the guts of the building where my enemies Hide in the dark like roaches And I will signal the camera crew and everyone will do What he's been trained how to do Sweat dripping from my face as my moment approaches

Click your heels, count to three I bet you never expected me A little worse for wear Practically walking on air

I love this song a lot, and listening to it lately makes me imagine Wilford plotting his revenge while on his way to catch up with Snowpiercer before the end of season 1.

16. “Firewood” by Regina Spektor

The piano is not firewood yet But the cold does get cold So it soon might be that I'll take it apart, call up my friends And we'll warm up our hands by the fire

Don't look so shocked Don't judge so harsh You don't know You’re only spying Everyone knows it's going to hurt But at least we'll get hurt trying

This has to be one of my favourite songs of all time. It’s very beautiful, and I love the piano in it. I’ve always personally interpreted it to be at least partially about someone surviving a suicide attempt, and the overall imagery about burning a piano for warmth—and this bit about not judging someone for doing that—reads to me as more of a general statement about the difficult choices people struggling with mental illness and other similar issues have to make to survive. I listened to it recently and I could picture Audrey singing it in the nightcar. I think it suits her well.

17. “Cry for Judas” by The Mountain Goats

But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean Long, black night Morning frost I'm still here But all is lost

I think the imagery of this song suits the show a lot in general, but I can also particularly imagine it being Wilford in a rare moment of self-awareness about how much damage he’s caused to the world and the people around him.

18. “Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide” by David Bowie

Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget Oh oh, oh, oh, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide

I love Wilford a lot. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him ever. I hope he kills more people, and I hope he gets his train back, and I hope he wins. But if he does eventually die in the show, I hope he’s found in the bathtub with there being some ambiguity about whether he really killed himself or whether one of his victims turned the tables on him, and I hope the climax of this song swells as the camera pans over his dead body. That’s the only Wilford death I will accept, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

19. “Source Decay” by The Mountain Goats

I park in an alley And I read through the postcards you continue to send Where as indirectly as you can, you ask what I remember I like these torture devices from my old best friend Well, I'll tell you what I know, like I swore I always would I don't think it's gonna do you any good I remember the train headed south out of Bangkok Down toward the water

Okay, I promise this is the last Mountain Goats song on the playlist. It’s just—it’s perfect. It has a train in it. And on the podcast “I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats,” John Darnielle commented that there’s barely anywhere you can go south of Bangkok before you hit the water, it’s a train going nowhere, it’s so good. It’s also one of the songs I’ve previously ripped a line off for my fanfiction titles!

20. “Sellers of Flowers” by Regina Spektor

The sellers of flowers Buy up old roses They pull off dead petals Like old heads of lettuce And sell ’em as new ones For cheaper and fairer But they die by the morning So who is the winner? Not the roses Not the buyers Not the sellers Maybe winter

And Regina Spektor closes out the playlist again! This song is another one I picked more on imagery and vibes than anything else. But since it’s about a young child in a world that seems to be moving inexorably toward an all-consuming winter, if it suits any of the characters, maybe it’s an appearance of Alex here at the end!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the playlist!

#snowpiercer #wilford #music #snowpiercer tv

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highlifesupernova · 3 years

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Kanye West is My Problematic Fave

Can we separate our favorite works of art from the artists who created them?

I'll admit at the outset of this piece that I don't know the answer to this question. Over the last three years, one of my favorite musicians has put on that red hat, released a terrible record about a misogynistic religion, and stood between an unrepentant homophobe and accused domestic abuser on the porch of a replica of his mother's home at a third listening party for an album that seemed like it would never be released. What does that mean for our relationship with his work?

The common thread among my favorite musicians is theatrics - I love nothing more than discovering a universe of sound, concept, and drama in a piece of music. I loved the idea that Sufjan Stevens would release fifty state albums. One of my favorite records of all time is a concept album about the American civil war by Titus Andronicus. Lady Gaga won my heart when she bled out on stage at the 2009 VMAs as commentary on paparazzi culture. I've been a fan of Kanye West (which sometimes feels more like being a Kanye West apologist) since he turned near-universal vilification after interrupting Taylor Swift's award acceptance speech on that same night into one of the most artistically complete albums I know - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

Although its artist remained polarizing, MBDTF achieved triumphant consensus among the public and critics alike. It topped best-of lists, produced the immortal singles "POWER" and "All Of the Lights", and earned a perfect 10 from the era's authority on "cool" music, Pitchfork (it also arguably set Pitchfork on the path to its fall from grace, but that's a whole other essay). The record is funny, sad, relatable, introspective, maximalist, and heavy on pop appeal. The Kanye West of MBDTF was disarmingly self aware. In lieu of apologetics, West invited us to experience his hedonistic, lush creative mind for an hour and eight minutes. He was unrepentantly an asshole, and reminded us that we all kind of were, too. He sold us darkness as an indulgence.

In addition to, or perhaps as a result of, being an incredible musical achievement, MBDTF gave West control over his public narrative. He'd been a talented, erratic figure in pop music for years, but with this crowning achievement he became the center of pop culture. He was no longer the egoistical Chicago producer with the backpack - he was the unconventional genius who had made one of the greatest hip hop records of all time. He moved into high art spaces, becoming a figure at fashion week, and ascended to the highest highs of celebrity, marrying one of the most famous women in the world. The public gave West a pass for his behavior because it seemed accessory to his brilliance.

The incident with Swift eventually began to take a backseat to West's music. In the years following the release of MBDTF, including the album cycle for Yeezus, his public persona was brash but ultimately benign. He declared himself a god, had some more close calls at awards shows, and liked some of the Gaga songs. He seemed to maintain control of his image, and his fans, including me, got used to defending him for his art.

Over time, possibly as West's mental health deteriorated, this showboating personality became an erratic one. He went through a MAGA phase, a cowboy phase, and ultimately a Jesus phase, each time expressing opinions that were difficult to rationalize with his prior moral alignment and unpopular among the young hip hop fans who hold him in high regard. It has gotten harder to be a fan. In an era where we've called into question whether a bad action can discredit someone's work, and sometimes find that to be justified, enjoying West's music makes me feel like I need to be ready to defend him as a person. I don't think I can in good faith. It's also hard to hang up my nostalgia for West's earlier work and my abiding adoration of his albums from the early 2010s.

The difficult thing about the case of Kanye West is that he has yet to cause material harm. He has come out with radioactively bad takes ("slavery was a choice"), aired his wife's dirty laundry in public, and associated with some of his more concretely morally delinquent peers. He hasn't, to the public's knowledge, hurt anyone. Engaging with West's work post-born-again-Christianity era might feel strange, but it isn't repugnant in the way that celebrating R. Kelly or Chris Brown is. Giving attention and accolades to someone with shitty opinions versus someone who has used their wealth and status to actively cause harm doesn't feel quite the same, and I don't think it should. Fans cling to this as evidence that we can separate West from his art, or perhaps that we don't need to. I have personally rationalized my support for West in this way.

I started this post intending to come to a different conclusion than the one I've come to since the release of Donda. I was going to talk about how our reactions to art aren't logical or rational, and how I think it's human nature to struggle with denying ourselves the things we love. Admittedly, I was writing this to defend my continued consumption of West's work to myself on the eve of the new record's release. I still think that reasoning holds, but I also think it applies to feeling betrayed by an artist and finding one's opinion of their art tainted as a result.

The Independent gave Donda a zero-star rating, citing accused intimate partner abuser Marilyn Manson and noted homophobe DaBaby's involvement with the record as an inexcusable flaw. This review has been derided to hell by the wider internet, and I don't disagree that perhaps it'd have been more professional to publish a refusal to review the album, but I also can't argue strongly in West's favor here. Even if his apparent statement of solidarity with Manson and DaBaby was an attempt at a demonstration of Christian forgiveness, it is a bad look for West to deliver that absolution without comment in a public platform. I was raised Catholic, and having to sit in that weird little confessional booth really drove home that Christian God expects repentance before he's granting anyone forgiveness. Forgiveness can be earned -- and there are many times when the public could stand to be a bit more merciful -- but it is certainly not given for free. Nobody is obligated to forgive Marilyn Manson, DaBaby, or Kanye West. If the album is unlistenable to someone in the context of their actions, that is a fair reaction.

For the record, I actually quite like Donda. I think it's a fine album and the rollout was entertaining. I also know its release was engineered for maximum shock value, and I don't like that Manson's alleged victims were collateral damage.

There's a shade of grey here that I think is often passed over when we talk about separating art and artists, a shade I think West actually leaned into perfectly in the lead up to MBDTF; the art we like can be taken in context of the things we don't like about it. Kanye West makes incredibly innovative music, and is also very difficult to defend as a public figure in good faith. Those two things have never been mutually exclusive, and synergism of the two is what has made West the cultural icon he is. We don't have to talk ourselves into things being unproblematic in order to like them, and it's okay to sit with unresolved discomfort about art.

#kanye west #donda #cancel culture #marilyn manson #dababy

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spidernerdsblog · 4 years

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I forgot that you existed: Chapter Three

A/N : Chapter three is here. It’s a little bit longer than the previous chapters got a little carried away. Things are getting little steamy between our ex lovers. In this chapter I have incorporated some other songs felt it will go with the situation the songs go side by side with the scenes as you read. Hope you like it. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings: mild cursing

Mini playlist: It’s nice to have a friend by Taylor Swift, Physical by Dua Lipa, Into you by Ariana Grande

In the evening a barbeque was arranged. All were enjoying chatting, eating and drinking. You occasionally glanced towards Tom and El all cuddled up. When suddenly Paddy called you

“Hey Y/N it’s been so many years didn’t hear you sing”

“Then how are my albums selling if I’m not singing Pads” you joked giving a surprised look

“I meant up close live like you used to do”

“Yes Y/N please sing something I always wanted to go to your concerts but never got the opportunity” El insisted

“But I don’t have my guitar or any kind of instruments”

“That’s not a problem we have your old guitar wait a minute let me get that” Ed got up to bring it.

“You still have that?”

“yeah Tom insisted to keep it here” Harrison said.Tom and you looked at each other.

“Okay this song is totally dedicated to you guys and please no posting in your social media accounts because this will be in my next album too, the music company will kill me.” You joked. You tuned in the guitar and started playing

School bell rings, walk me home Sidewalk chalk covered in snow Lost my gloves, you give me one "Wanna hang out?" Yeah, sounds like fun Video games, you pass me a note Sleeping in tents

It's nice to have a friend (Ooh) It's nice to have a friend (Ooh)

Zendaya leaned her head on your shoulder you smiled at her.

Light pink sky up on the roof Sun sinks down, no curfew Twenty questions, we tell the truth You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too Something gave you the nerve To touch my hand

It's nice to have a friend (Ooh) It's nice to have a friend (Ooh)

Harrison got up from his seat and grabbed your shoulder from the back giving you a hug as you sang.

Church bells ring, carry me home Rice on the ground looks like snow Call my bluff, call you "babe" Have my back, yeah, everyday Feels like home, stay in bed The whole weekend

It's nice to have a friend (Ooh) It's nice to have a friend (Ooh) It's nice to have a friend (Ooh)

It was an emotional moment for all of you as everyone gathered around you for a giant hug though Tom kept his distance.

“Okay enough of tears. Tomorrow is going to be a fun day because its beach day.” Harrison announced. Everyone cheered.

“So better we all get a goodnight’s sleep”

You were a late riser when you are on a holiday so when you woke up Zendaya was already dressed for the beach day

“Good morning sleeping beauty”

“Morning” you mumbled

“So excited for today?”

“Totally!!”

“Then get your ass out of the bed and freshen up”

“Yeah” you rubbed your eyes

“I'm going downstairs to check what others are upto don't fall asleep in the bathroom.”

“Okay”

You got up and went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and then have a shower . The cool water relieved your muscles instantly .

Paddy, Jacob and Ed were busy setting up the table. Harry and Chloe were helping Sam in the kitchen.

“What's up boys?”

“Breakfast is almost ready”, Sam said, tossing the ingredients in the fry pan.

“The food looks so delicious gotta take a picture will make a perfect story. Oh shit I forgot my phone.”

Tom was coming down the stairs as Zendaya stopped him.

“Hey Tom can you please go and tell Y/N to bring my phone with her when she comes downstairs.?”

Tom hesitated to go but eventually agreed .. "yeah okay"

You came out of the bathroom all fresh a towel wrapped around your body. As you started humming a song and drying your hair with a blow dryer.

Tom stood in front of your room. He really had a bad habit of not knocking before coming into your room since childhood so out of habit he just opened the door.

As the door flung open. You shrieked, clutching your towel tightly.

“Oh my god!!! What the fuck Tom!!!”

Tom couldn't help but stare at you in a towel hair all wet, beads of water dripping down the ends. Your smooth skin glowing in the sunlight coming from the windows giving you an ethereal look.

“Stop staring you creep and close the fucking door!!!” You yelled again.

Tom was startled as he closed the door behind him.

“Seriously” you huffed “I said to close the door and leave not to come inside you idiot!!”

“It's in a way your fault why didn't you lock the door?” Tom quipped back

“What!! After all these years you couldn't learn the basic manner of knocking the door before entering someone's room. And it's my fault?”

“Okay I'm sorry calm down I just came to convey Z's message she said you to bring her phone as she forgot to take it with her that's all.”

“The message has been received and now you may leave I have gotta get dressed”

Something went across Tom's mind as he gave you a mischievous look "what if I don't?"

‘What do you mean?” You were confused

“I meant this isn't the first time I have seen you like this, actually seen more than that.” He winked.”Then why so shy to change infront of me now?”

You narrowed your eyes," you think this is funny Holland?"

“Whatever you think princess.” he grinned

Tom was testing your patience but you weren't the one to give up so easily . So you decided to play along with his dangerous game.

"You know what I actually don't mind either ." you smirked. "But I don't think El would be quite pleased to see her would be husband with his ex just in a towel."

You started walking towards him with a sultry look in your eyes, your hand grabbed the tucked end of the towel as you motioned to remove it from your body. Tom was stunned by your answer little did he expect you would say that. Inappropriate thoughts started to hover in his mind but half of his mind reminded him it is wrong he's engaged to El and he can't break her trust. Tom shut his eyes and turned his back towards you as he opened the door and left closing it behind . You shook your head and laughed at how flustered he looked. You quickly got ready putting on your shorts and an off shoulder crop top.

You came downstairs, breakfast was already served. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and toast instantly made you hungry. There were freshly baked muffins too.

“Here you go rock star.” Chloe handed you your plate of food.

“Thanks darlo” you cooed

You bite into your muffin as you get lost in its flavors.

"mmmmph.. I think I had a foodgasm" you giggled as others also started laughing.

“How do you cook so tasty food Sam? it's too good. I missed this so much”

“Glad you liked it Y/N”

You went to pick up another piece of muffin from the plate on the table as you were interrupted by another hand. It was Tom. You looked at him.

"Umm.. ladies first" He said moving his hand.

You took your piece and went to chat with others.

Tom's eyes followed you thinking of how unbothered you were after the little stunt that you pulled off a while ago.

“Yo man where are you lost at” Jacob broke his train of thoughts

“Nothing bro” tom shook his head

“Where's El?”

“Oh she's getting ready will be down in a minute.”

..................................

Finally you were all on the beach. The weather was perfect and you can't wait to go surfing after so many years. You spread your towel on the chair and put your bag on it. You grab your sunscreen lotion and apply it to your exposed areas. As you heard El calling sweetly. She looked gorgeous in bikini top and a sharong.

“Tommy can you please help me apply the lotion on my back.”

“Sure darling.” Tom took the lotion and started applying it to her back.

You kept looking as you smiled, eyes furrowed.

"Typical" you heard Zendaya saying and looked at her as she rolled her eyes.

"I find it cute though" you winked as both of you started giggling.

Tom looked at both of you scrunching his face as he understood why you both were laughing.

You then spoke loudly to grab everyone's attention "are we going for surfing or not because the water will not come to us we have to go to the water! Or are we here just to apply sunscreen and get tanned" you gave a side look, that was enough to get on Tom's nerve, your revenge taken for the morning fiasco.

Zendaya gaped at you with a smile. "You are such a bitch" she lightly punches your arm giggling.

“Wasn't that the plan?” You raised your brow

“Don't get so cranky grandma we are going for surfing. Let me get the surf boards first” Harrison said.

“Do it fast.”

“Hey El you’re not coming?”

“Oh no I can’t surf”

“Tom can teach you, can’t you Tom?”

“Oh no it’s ok we have come to enjoy don’t want him to give surfing lessons instead of enjoying I can learn afterwards as he’s going to be there for me forever”

“You are really a sweet girl El I really like you. Tom is really lucky to have you”

“Thanks” she giggled shyly as she hold on to Tom’s hands.

You felt really good surfing after a long time. You made Harry click some good Instagramable pictures of yours while surfing. You were all wet when you came on the shore, clothes sticking to your body. You raised your hands above your head and stretched your body. When you heard someone say

“Nice tattoo”

You looked at the man with flowy dark brown hair and indigo eyes. He was tall with a broad chest and well defined abs . You glanced at your tattoo on the left side of your hip and then looked at him

"Umm thanks" you furrowed your eyes smiling.

“Solo trip?”

"Oh no with my mates they are over there" you pointed towards your group.

“ Oh great!! By the way I'm Steve.. Steve Johnson and I know who you are. Big fan of your works.”

“Thank you” you smiled shyly

“I really like your tattoo”

“You like my tattoo or is there something else you like ?” You narrowed your eyes grinning.

"Yeah I like you too by the way" he scratched his head giving a goofy smile looking down his feet then to you.

You shook your head and laughed

“But still what is the meaning behind it?”

"Nothing special. I just liked the design and I had a scar over there so I had to cover it up." That wasn't the actual story behind it and you knew it very well.

Tom was with El listening to her chatter but all his attention was in your conversation with Steve. And he knew that the tattoo on your hip was there for a special reason not for any mere scar.

Happy first anniversary to us. You clinked your champagne glasses together. It's been one year since Tom proposed you to be his girlfriend. Tom had decided to have a candlelight dinner with you at his house. He had cooked your favorite dishes. After dinner you both sat down on the all couch cuddled up to binge watch star wars movies.

“Y/N?”

“Hmmm”

“Please never leave me even if I am being an asshole to you sometimes. Please don't ever leave me”

“I'll always be there for you dummy.” You messed his hair. “Besides who else will tolerate your tantrums other than me.”

“Pinky promise?”

You giggled “yes pinky promise.” You both hold on to your pinkies.

“You know what I'm thinking to get a tattoo”

“Don't get under your foot it really hurts” Tom chuckled.

And the next day you were in a tattoo parlor as you went through the catalog and found the exact design you wanted.

You couldn't wait to show it to Tom as you reached his house you just ran inside as you saw him in the kitchen you went and hugged him from back and gave a kiss on his cheek. “I have a surprise for you”

He turned around the kitchen island to face you.You lifted your top to reveal your hip. You had got a tattoo of two hands pinkies intertwined as a reminder to your yesterday's promise of not leaving each other.

The promise you made was already broken. And maybe the heartbreak you had was a scar for you.

“Okay then you enjoy your day I gotta go find my friends.See you around.”

“Yeah sure.” You gave a smile

As he left Z, Chloe and El huddled around you

“Oh my god Y/N who was that hot guy?” Z asked excitedly

“Umm his name is Steve and he likes my tattoo.” You giggled.

“It's barely our second day here and you got someone to get laid way to go girl” Chloe lightly punched your arm

“Oh shut up I barely know him” Harrison called you all to say something. Z, El, Chloe went towards him. As you were about to go you heard Tom

“So you finally found someone who can apply sunscreen on you too”

“What!? Oh come on we weren’t making fun of you, we just didn't think you were such a hopeless romantic type of guy”

“When you are with the right person it feels good to be a hopeless romantic. Like take it for yourself you were always a fun type not marriage or romancing type”

“So you're admitting that I was fun, glad to hear that.” You winked.

“Hey Y/N come on lets play volleyball”

“Yeah coming!! Haz”

“So what are teams?”

“It's me vs you.

“Fine by me.Gonna kick your ass like always.”

“Don’t get so overconfident darling I have upped my skills. Okay let's toss whoever wins will get to choose first their team members.”

“I’m gonna be the referee” El announced.

Harrison won the toss he chose Ed, Jacob, Tuwaine, Chloe, Harry

You had hoped Haz took Tom in his team but damn you Haz ,so you had Z, Paddy, Tom, Sam in your team

“Hey we are short of one player” you complained

You saw Steve coming from the other side with his friends. Zendaya elbowed you

“Babe it's your chance go and ask him out” You giggled and immediately ran towards Steve

“Hey hi”

“Hi again beautiful”

You hesitated a bit “Umm do you wanna? do you mind if I ask you to join us? We are playing volleyball and I'm short of one player.”

“Of Course love, it will be my utmost pleasure.”

You both came back and took your positions at the back. The game started and you were impressed by Steve's skills. He was really good at the game.

“Didn't think you would turn out be such a player.”

“I can be more than that love if you want.” He winked.

You blushed profusely “for now I just want to beat my best friend's ass in the game”

“As you wish mam”

Tom was standing in the front and he could hear all of your conversations. It would be a lie if he said he wasn't feeling jealous.

Both the teams were on tie the last round was do or die for you.

You went to serve the ball but accidentally it slipped and it went and hit at the back of Tom's head. You gave a panicked look while others started laughing.

“I'm really sorry Tom the ball slipped from my hand” you also started giggling.

“But I think you did that intentionally Y/N” Tom said angrily

“What do you think I don't understand why you are acting to be so nice”

“What are you saying Tom I don't understand I already said that I'm sorry it was totally an accident?”

“Are you sorry? You just can’t tolerate that after so many years finally I’m happy with someone”

“Yo Tom calm down” Jacob said

“Yes Tom stop overreacting!” Chloe yelled

“Tell your friend to stop acting to be so nice!!”

“Hey man you are unnecessarily making a big deal out of it” Steve came in your defense.

“You please stay out of this. Its between us”.

“Tom you can’t speak to Steve like this”

“Oh now I get it all this to grab his attention. You are wasting your time on her dude take my advice leave her she anyways will leave you after she gets whatever she wants from you”.

Your blood was boiling at Tom’s words. El was totally confused at the whole scene she wasn't getting why Tom was reacting like that, your temper rising as you noticed her and abruptly spoke

“Hey El I know you are totally confused at what is going on let me give you a pretext to it ,you actually know half of my identity that is I'm their childhood friend but I'm more than that to your fiance actually.” you jabbed at her

“Y/N I said you no” Tom yelled

“Oh it’s too late now honey”

“For the record I'm his ex girlfriend. We had been in a relationship since we were teenagers then we broke up six years ago. But I guess he couldn't get over it as that is why he couldn’t say you about me” you glared at him looking up and down. “Maybe you are failing to give him the love he needs that is why he can’t forget me and is acting like a dickhead.”

El was definitely hurt by your words. She ran towards the beach house teary eyed. Tom ran after her “El wait! Don’t go! I can explain!! Please listen!!”

“Fuck you Y/N!!!”

You gave him the finger with both your hands with an uninterested look on your face.

The game obviously had to be ended after the heated argument. And everybody came back to the beach house. You were all sitting in the living room. Tom and El were in their room. Probably sorting out the matter after your big revelation.

“What is the problem with Tom?” Z exclaimed

“He has totally gone nuts” Sam scoffed

“Y/N are you okay?” Harrison nudged your shoulder

“Yeah I'm fine but I really feel bad I shouldn't have spoken to El like that. That was totally rude. I just got really angry. I didn't do it intentionally.

“It's okay Y/N we know it was never your fault. Tom has always been a dickhead.” Harry reassured you

‘I think I need to talk to El and clear things out before it gets more complicated.”

El was standing at the porch when you approached her.

“Hey”

“Hey” she gave a half smile

“Listen I came to apologize for today. I'm really sorry I shouldn't have talked to you like that. It was so rude of me. I just couldn't control myself after what Tom said. I don't know what Tom said to you about me but I have no intention of interfering in your lives. I'm really happy for both of you. To be honest I still love him, he is my best friend though he doesn't see me like his friend anymore. I don't want to become the reason for a rift in your relationship.”

“I understand Y/N in a way it was Tom's fault, he was the one who overreacted in spite of you saying sorry.”

“Thank you El for understanding.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah sure”

“Why did you guys break up?”

You sighed deeply “because I was way too selfish. I couldn't give the love he deserved. But now I feel you can fill that void in his life. You took El's hand in yours El “I'm giving his responsibility to you El. Please never leave his side. Fill his life with love and happiness he deserves. And if you guys want I can..I can leave tomorrow itself.”

“No Y/N I wouldn't want that you both share a past together but that should not affect our future. You will always be a good friend to me.”

“So if we are all good you guys are coming to the party right”

“Party??” El gave a confused look

“Yeah Harrison arranged a sort of welcome and success party for me, gonna have fun tonight.”

“Yeah sure and I'll persuade Tom don't worry.

...........................................................

You chose your little black dress with a deep plunging neckline as your outfit for the night. Zendaya was still confused between two of her outfits. You both did your make up and got ready.

“What's with that cleavage?” Zendaya quipped

“I don't think I stand a chance with that Steve guy after today's events so I have to find a new one” you laughed.

As you guys reached the night club, you could hear the music blasting from outside. The bouncers checked your ids and let you in. Harrison ordered the drinks as you all gathered together. Harrison raised a toast

“To our long living friendships and our rock-star's successful album.”

You all cheered.

“Okay guys the drinks are on me for tonight, help yourselves” you announced.

The boys cheered. Everyone scattered the couples went for a dance as you looked at Tom and El dancing and laughing. You were sipping on a margarita when you felt a light tap on your shoulder and you looked back.

"Hey you went away without even saying a proper goodbye"

“Umm hi, sorry actually I wasn’t in a good state at that moment”

“Yeah I understand. how are you now?”

“Fine.”

He was checking you out all thanks to your dress

“Up here Mr.” You grinned

He gave a lopsided smile “you look hot”

“Thanks”

Physical by Dua Lipa starts playing

(Common love isn't for us We created something phenomenal Don't you agree? Don't you agree? You got me feeling diamond rich Nothing on this planet compares to it Don't you agree? Don't you agree? )

Zendaya came and grabbed your hand “come on slowpoke. Let's burn the dance floor.” She pulled you to the dance floor.

(Who needs to go to sleep, when I got you next to me?

All night, I'll riot with you I know you got my back and you know I got you So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Lights out, follow the noise Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical)

You both swayed to the music as you both started lip syncing with the song loudly and laughing. You grooved sensuously giving occasional glances to Steve. He took the que and approached you. You felt his arms around your hips as he turned you towards him. You put your arms on his shoulders as you both swayed to the music looking into each other's eyes.

“Hey Steve!! come on mate you have to go!” you heard a group of men calling out

“Er... sorry I have to leave my friends are calling. See you again”

“It’s ok bye see ya” You came back to the counter. You ordered some lemon drops. You gulped it down and bite into the lime.

“Didn't think you will make him leave you so soon”

You rolled your eyes “wasn't today enough for you.”

“I can never get enough of you princess”

“Stop calling me that!!”

“Why does it turn you on?”

“Huh!!” you deadpanned. “It makes me feel nauseated. You don't excite me anymore Holland” you grinned. He was going to say something as Tuwaine interrupted

“Hey let’s do power hour” Tuwaine suggested

“Yessss!!!!” the boys shouted in unison

“Guys seriously none of you can handle yourselves after that. We girls have also come to enjoy not to carry your drunken asses home” You jabbed.

“We can handle ourselves Y/N don’t worry” Harry assured you

“We’ll see that”

The game started only Paddy didn’t participate as he was not sure of his capacity to handle . Jacob gave up half way through the shots. Sam and Harry both struggling to keep up the pace lastly giving up. It was now between Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine. Tuwaine won eventually. And now all the boys were definitely drunk as you had expected.

You were having your shots as Tom took one from you.

“Aren’t you already enough drunk loser”

“I’m not a loser” he said in a raspy voice

“Then who lost to Tuwaine anyways I’m gonna go dance you sulk here loser”

Into you by Ariana Grande starts playing

(I'm so into you, I can barely breathe And all I wanna do is to fall in deep But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, hey)

You walked to the center of the dance floor swaying your hips a little as you start grooving to the song. You felt a little tipsy as you danced along the song, drunk sweaty bodies hovered around you.

(Oh baby, look what you started The temperature's rising in here Is this gonna happen? Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move Before I make a move)

You started dancing with some random drunk guy. You glanced at Tom as you placed your hands around his neck and danced with that guy. Yes the alcohol in your system wanted Tom to make a move.

(So baby, come light me up and baby I'll let you on it A little bit dangerous, but baby, that's how I want it A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body 'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you)

Tom clenched his jaw as he gulped down a shot slamming the glass on the bar counter and started walking towards you. You continued to dance sensually.

(Got everyone watchin' us, so baby, let's keep it secret A little bit scandalous, but baby, don't let them see it A little less conversation and a little more touch my body 'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you)

You felt a familiar pair of arms around your waist as he turned you and pulled you closer to him. Your palms resting on his broad chest. The smell of his cologne taking over your senses.

(This could take some time, hey I made too many mistakes Better get this right, right, baby)

You placed your hands around Tom's neck as you get lost into each other's eyes. The world seemed a blur to you at the moment as you cared less of who was watching, you just wanted to live this moment.

He took your hand in his and twirled you around a few times before pulling you closer, your back pressed to his chest, your bodies swaying, occasionally grinding against each other.

He brushed aside your hair with one hand, his other hand on your shoulder as he kissed you behind your ear. You gasped at his touch as you felt your body was on fire. You tilted your head a little to give him more access as he brushes his lips on your neck. Tom's hands ran down your arms lacing with your fingers.

(Tell me what you came here for 'Cause I can't, I can't wait no more)

You suddenly felt whatever is happening is wrong, you pulled away from him to leave as he caught hold of your hand.

(I'm on the edge with no control And I need, I need you to know You to know, oh)

You looked at him and then to your hands. He pulled you impossibly closer as you slammed into his chest. Your legs were wobbly as he steadied you by holding your waist. The smell of his cologne doing things to you. Old memories, nostalgia hitting you. He lifts you up and spins a little.

You look at him with droopy eyes as he brings you down; he hugs you even closer. He knelt near your neck, nose brushing against the bottom of your ear. You whimpered when his hot breath ghosted your ears. "Do I still excite you babygirl?" he whispered in your ears. You could just hum in response, your body shivering at each and every touch of his.

Purple lights danced across Tom's face illuminating his brown eyes, highlighting his each and every feature. You went dizzy when his lips ghosted at your sweet spot at the nape of your neck. You threw your hands around his neck tugging his hair at the bottom. His hands snaked around your waist sensually gliding to your thighs at the hem of your dress.You weren't that drunk so soon the realization hit you where it is leading to. You thought, what were you doing? This is so not right. You struggled to free yourself from his hold pushing him away by his chest.

(So come light me up, so come light me up my baby A little dangerous, a little dangerous my baby A little less conversation and a little more touch my body 'Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you ) song fading away...............

You both stand in the middle of the dance floor breathless. You ran your hand through your already messed up hair. You stomped off to the bar counter as Tom followed you.

...............................................................................

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