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#this doesn't even feel real lmfao
kyluxtrashpit · 1 year
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I was gonna wait and hype it up a bit more but you know what, the thing is done, let's just fucking do it. Behold, chapter 1 of the thing. New updates will be posted weekly on Saturdays until complete
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astrxealis · 11 months
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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors#IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch#in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation#needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore#LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others#but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w#smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now#will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!
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iiboronii · 2 months
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I'M BACK
#SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU ALL#I GOT SOOOO ENGROSSED IN MYSTIC MESSENGER THAT I JUST. WELL.#DID NOT LOG IN#and also i decided to stop being chronically online for a little while bc well. i needed it.#i had to start going on walks again and everything#but like. that's all besides the point#beside the point? idk lol#sorry for deserting you all#i feel bad about it bc its just radio silence from me for however long#and you can make the argument that it doesn't really matter bc it's just tumblr.com#but like. i have friends on here LMFAO#sorry for not communicating at all i'm still here#i was pacing around in the backyard yesterday (as i often do) and i had a moment of clarity or something LOL#well not really clarity but for awhile i've just been like “i don't want to think about the onceler. i am playing otome games.”#“lets let someone else do the storytelling for awhile” basically#bc even though it's onceler theorist summer i sometimes simply do not want to do complex thinking#and also i was soooo obsessed with a different capitalist#RECENTLY I REALIZED THAT MY FICTIONAL TYPE IS DARK HAIRED COLD HEARTED CAPITALISTS. WHAT THE FUCK.#like. it all started with kyoya ootori huh?#and then victor#and then the onceler#and then jumin han#and it's like. huh. in real life this is not my type at ALL.#anyways welcome me back i'm back on my bullshit i'm sorry if i scared any of you#i'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D#oh but also i should probably warn you that when i get back to campus in late august you will probably not hear from me#for like. long stretches of time bc i'll be out doing college things (studying all night)#my love for you all is not any less when i'm not logged in okay that's all ily bye i'm gonna look at what's happening in my activity!!!!!!!#artic and moonmel get priority though sorry if anyone else is in there
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brittlebutch · 3 months
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the thing about Aelwyn that I think about a lot is that there's a lot to the notion that she, to a certain extent, was so abrasive with Adaine because of how obstinate Adaine is with their parents. If you have based a chunk of your personality on the precept of "The only way to protect myself is to meet my parents' expectations and obey them at all costs", then every time Adaine pushes back against them, there is almost unquestionably a fear-response -- even if you aren't the one who set your parent off, their stress/frustration can fill a room to the point of becoming smothering anyway. And if you don't feel safe getting mad at your parents for being a source of stress/fear in your life, then invariably the only thing you can do is begin to resent the third-party who you perceive as setting them off for no reason instead of playing it safe, like you do.
#N posts stuff#NOT saying this in a 'oh poor aelwyn; adaine's such a Problematic Asshole' way lmfao -- that wouldn't make Any sense#but just sort of in an idle 'what Were Aelwyn's motivations and reasonings for her role in things?' musing#i think that Aelwyn was like. to an Extent was kind of drinking the kool-aid in a way that only really got destabilized after being torture#of like 'Adaine is treated badly bc she behaves badly. i am a good daughter so my parents treat me better' being completely shaken#when Aelwyn has been completely destroyed by torture - even if she doesn't remember the mental effects she's still Physically#affected - and her parents continue to push her and refuse to allow her to rest and blatantly could Not care less about her health#and that triggering an 'Oh. I wasn't Earning any real love/respect; I'm just an easier Tool to use than Adaine is' realization#but Brennan does also make it clear that Aelwyn was Afraid of their parents in a way that I'm not sure Adaine was#which is interesting to think about. Adaine blatantly Dislikes their parents and knows that she's being mistreated and resents that#but with how freely she talks back to them - I don't think they Scare her? at least up until her dad makes more overt attempts to harm her#and even then she seems to shift into 'well I just need to Defeat them then' mentality instead of a 'that's Scary' kind of feeling#i DO NOT think that Adaine is like. better off or better adjusted or anything; i think she's just dysfunctional in a different way#anyway i am just interested in the notion that Adaine and Aelwyn both kind of saw each other as 'Aggressor' and resented each other for it#until Aelwyn was able to have that final realization about the like. full-scope of their parents' cruelty and like.#was able to sever that cycle enough to See Adaine fully and allowed them to reach out to one another finally
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emodennis · 1 year
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GAWD I'M SO NERVOUS
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fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good
#winston billions#the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but#actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things....#that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales#(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions)#(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on)#give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful#even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations#meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device]#being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real#AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character.#winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like#just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian#like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like#that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more#info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up#and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted#or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects]#winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character#rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation#and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal#well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot...#a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh]#and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it....#most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live#even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol#plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy#and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke#and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7#but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f
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bitchy-peachy · 20 days
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I love deciding how to spend my money.
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astrxealis · 2 years
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about to become a fuuta kajiyama apologist
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mikakuna · 7 months
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i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)
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and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.
a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.
this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).
anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.
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suuooe · 4 months
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-- Touch deprived boys
✧ or: touch- or not so touch deprived wind breaker boys ✧ featuring: Sakura Haruka, Suo Hayato, Umemiya Hajime, Hiragi Toma & Kaji Ren x gn!reader [separate] ✧ content: established relationship & fluff ✧ a/n: i dropped one suo fic and got busy the same week and fell ill the next week lmfao. hiragi may be a bit ooc - ya know when you know how the characters act and how they are in theory, but can't articulate that in your works? yeah. yeah. this is not proofread we post this without beta-reading like real men.
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Sakura doesn't register the feeling at first. To be more precise, he doesn't know what the feeling is at all when it first appears.
I imagine Sakura having a significant other that's the polar opposite to him when it comes to physical touch - as in they would 100% at any given moment when they're together hold any part of Sakura that they come in contact with. (This boy cannot for the life of him shake off anyone he deems close away, grab his hand and lead him on and he will 100% complain the entire way, but he'll never shake off your hand)
Which means that ever since he did start to date you, he wouldn't even know the meaning of what touch deprivation even is - because not a day goes by when you're not touching him some part of him.
So when a day actually comes when you're not holding onto him, he feels genuinely put off. Something is wrong, but he can't put his finger on it. And oh boy does that clearly show on his face. Sakura is after all - an open book when it comes to his feelings.
He's moody, he doesn't snap and yell like usual - but he only mutters answers back whenever someone asks him something. Even to you - if anything, you would think he's mad at you. He's fidgeting with his hands, tugging at his sleeves and averting his gaze from you whenever you ask if he's okay.
He's an open book yeah, but he won't say a damn thing - pride and all.
It'll most likely be in a scenario where you're surrounded by more people than usual that you hold back a bit on showing affection. But still, you're mostly by his side, talking to him, handing him drinks and heck your shoulders brush against each other every time you laugh at something his classmate had said - you're that close to him.
And yet it feels wrong.
"Oh, Haruka your drink is empty. Want me to go grab another one?" you're not even waiting for an answer before you lean away from the wall behind you to head towards the refreshments table on the other side of the rooftop.
It's only when your presence once again leaves his side that Sakura springs into action, reaching out to barely grasp the fabric of your shirt to hold you slightly back. Puzzled, you turn around with a confused smile, only to be met with an equally confused, but frantic stare from your lover. "Everything okay, Haruka?" you ask again, ignoring the fact that Haruka's gaze is looking all over the place but at your own face.
"Y-yeah, why wouldn't it be?" although he says that, his hand is still grasping onto your shirt. A few seconds go by in silence before you feel a slight tug against them - and suddenly every dot in your confused brain starts to connect on his bizarre behaviour today.
Your eyes soften, and Sakura can hear your quiet chuckle when you turn around to face him, forcing his fingers to let go. But before he can ask what you're laughing about, he can feel himself being pulled into a hug, and he can feel your smile against his shoulders as you pat his back comfortably. "You're so cute, Haruka." he can hear you say through your quiet giggles.
You can hear a quiet "Shut up…" from him, but you can feel the way his posture drastically softens under your hug. But before your duo-coloured lover could wrap his arms around your waist, you hear a low whistle coming from behind you. "Naaw, Sakura-kun was missing [Name]'s touch for the day."
And in an instant you're yanked (gently) away by an arms length with Sakura yelling profanities at a laughing Suo. Well at least he's back to normal.
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Suo's never "deprived" per say of your touch - because he's the one initiating it 90% of the time.
He's already physically affectionate. He's usually seen having an arm around your waist when you're peering at something, holding your hand when the two of you go for a walk or leaning over you when you're standing still to rest his chin on top of your head (if you're shorter, if not he'll bury his face into the crook of your neck).
And while you don't mind (in fact often times you lean most of your weight on him if he's standing behind you once you feel his presence) Suo does want you to initiate contact once in a while.
But alas those feelings is rarely shown on his face, always sporting a neutral smile to any situation he's put in - no one can tell that he's a bit more troubled than usual.
But what kind of lover would you be, if you weren't able to spot these miniscule changes in Suo? When he now only briefly holds onto your waist to silently announce his presence beside you before retracting his arm back and when he waits for your fingers to graze against his own before he tangles them together?
You do notice, and Suo also knows you've noticed the slight difference in your otherwise normal habits. How you peer up at him a bit longer than usual when he decides to sit next to you in the library instead of behind you like he usually does so you can rest against him. But he only gives you a wide smile in return to your confused glance.
"You know-" you say with a start, seating yourself down on Suo's lap the moment he seats himself down properly on the tatami floor of his room, your lover only wrapping an arm around your back to make sure you don't topple over. "This is a very elaborate way to tell me you want me to initiate physical contact more often."
"Hmm? Whatever do you mean?" he feigns ignorance, merely tilting his head slightly to the side when you twirl your fingers around the tassels of his left earring whilst resting your head against his shoulder. "Why can't you just ask like any other person for a hug or something?" you question.
"That wouldn't be fun. I wanted to see if you loved the physical touch as much as me, after all." he says, and you raise your eyebrow in confusion, "Me not reciprocating your touches was not an answer?" you inquire, raising your head to stare at him, Suo only giving you a smile that seems a bit too mischievous back while shaking his head.
"Initiating and reciprocating are two different things, dear. Initiating takes a lot more courage after all." you only hum in return, resting your head back on his shoulder before taking a hold of his hand to toy with his fingers, bending the appendages while admiring how smooth his skin was - even with all the fighting he does. "I like it when you initiate contact first though…" you murmur in the end. Suo, who had initially thought you had put the matter of his impromptu idea to the side hums in surprise at your quiet confession.
"Why?"
You shrug, deciding to intertwine your fingers together before resting them on your own lap, smiling softly at how Suo's thumb brush against the skin of your hand. "I don't know either. I just know that it's you whenever someone takes a hold of my hand, you do have the habit of grazing your fingers against mine before holding them after all. It's almost like your way of saying hello before we even make eye contact." you tell, "You always reach out for my hand first after all."
You're not staring at him, still busy looking at your clasped hands - but he still smiles down at your form, turning his head to press his lips on top of your head. "Well with such a sweet reason, who am I to not initiate it more then, hmm?"
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He makes it known that he wants your touch before you can even tell he's deprived.
Which means he's never deprived, because when Umemiya feels that he needs a hug, he's making a beeline towards you to engulf you in his arms.
Which means there are two outcomes to this. If you're within his sights and he sees you as soon as he wants a hug, everything is A-OK! Umemiya gets his well needed hug to tackle the next set of duties and tasks he has set for himself for the next 3 hours.
If you're not in his arms within the next 10 minutes of him wanting a hug, he's going to talk to his plants like you've gone off to war and won't come back before the next year. Talking about how much he misses your presence, your favourite food, what kind of seed you would probably prefer, how he's found a new book that you love. At this point feel sorry for the person that has to sit through those 10 minutes of constant love declarations. (Hiragi)
And yes, Hiragi has you on speed dial because of this. It does not matter that you've recently been up on the rooftop spending time with him, it does not matter if you've just gone downtown to get some drinks - Hiragi does not get paid enough for this and he will personally escort you back to Bofurin's leader to make him shut up.
You better clear your schedule for the next hour because Umemiya will have you in his arms before making sure you're well fed and spend time with you. He doesn't necessarily have to constantly touch you then - if he can see you within his vision he's already beaming brighter than the sun in the sky.
"Hajime, you're about to squeeze my entire air supply out." you manage to wheeze out while laughing, Umemiya merely burying his face further into your hair while swinging you back and forth in the air.
"You could've told me that you were going to go shop for groceries for Kotoha! I would've helped." he exclaimed whilst putting your down on the ground again, though his arms were still snugly wrapped around your waist and still keeping you pressed against his front. Your own arms around his back when you noticed that he wouldn't budge from this position anytime soon.
"Last time you helped out, you crushed 2 dozens eggs remember? The townsfolk love you too much too, we would've needed more hands if you came along because of the amount of freebies they would give you. Besides she just wanted a few things and I was already out when she asked where I was, so it wasn't too much trouble to make another round through the town." you replied, stepping side to side while pushing yourself against Umemiya, a silent request for him to move backwards towards the wooden canopy so you both could sit down.
Once seated, you find yourself placed on top of Umemiya's lap with his arms still snugly wrapped around your waist, securing your body close to his own when you lean backwards to properly look at him while talking. At this point Umemiya has gone off tangent, eyes brimming with excitement over what had happened on the day you had mentioned the crushed eggs, only stopping his tangent when you bring a handkerchief up to his face to wipe away the dirt.
"… How long have you been in that position?" an exasperated gruff voice questions, and both you and Umemiya turn over to the entrance of the rooftop to see Hiragi leaning against the door.
"Hiragi! You want some water? Maybe some onigiri? Oh right, [Name] had also picked up some snacks!"
"It's been 15 minutes."
"Good grief, Umemiya, let [Name] go aleady, they're not your personal teddy bear."
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Hiragi in general is not a physically affectionate person. He doesn't mind it, softens quite a bit when you grasp his hand whenever you join his group when they patrol the town and relaxes his posture while sinking further down the slope of the couch so that you can rest your head on his shoulder - even if the posture itself causes him a bit of discomfort after.
He's quite content just having you walk by his side - as long as he can see you from his peripheral vision or heck, just hear your voice speak from beside him or behind him, he's content.
He does however have his moments. Although it's incredibly hard to spot because Hiragi himself doesn't mind going days without getting a kiss even.
And even when you do initiate the first touch, he handles you like a porcelain doll - almost afraid you will break. You can hug him as tight as you can, he'll laugh and say he's not going to disappear anytime soon, but the hug you receive back is so gentle and full of love it almost brings you to tears alone.
Hiragi is aware of his position within Bofurin, and the fact that his name carries a lot of weight and is known beyond the town - as such he initiates the most contact when you're alone. And even that is a rare occurrence being that you're both busy most of the time.
As such, even though it's rare - Hiragi will show subtle signs that he wants to cradle you within his arms or hold your hand. A gentler gaze when he addresses you - a more carefree grin when you open your arms wide waiting for him to come to you, but even you can see the slight hesitation.
All in all, Hiragi is quite content and rarely gets touch deprived, but no one is immune to their lover asking for a quick hug, even when you yourself isn't much of a physically affectionate person.
"Can I have a hug? Please?" Hiragi blinks slowly in confusion, takes a look behind him before directing his attention to you. "… Did you have to ask me in a sketchy alleyway of all things?" he finally asks, which makes you laugh, hands still outstretched waiting for Hiragi to take the 2 steps to reach you.
"And here I thought I was going to get a lecture from dragging you away from patrolling." you say, now wriggling your fingers to emphasise your current need for a hug from your boyfriend. "Think of it like an energy boost for the day! I know you've been craving a hug from yours truly for a long time after all, it's been a while since your last recharge!" you add on, Hiragi quirking an eyebrow with a smile.
"You're keeping track of them now?" he scoffs, taking the two steps you desperately wanted him to take, reaching out his own hands to intertwine them with your own before holding onto your wrists to rest your arms on his shoulders. "Hehe, next time I should keep track on how many Gas-kun 10 you take." you can see the roll of his eyes as he wraps his arms around your waist while you lock your own arms around his neck, rubbing your face into his neck to breathe in the faint hint of cologne he dons each day.
The arms wrapped around your waist tightens a bit more than usual, and you can feel the stiffness of Hiragi's form loosen "You're on your lunch break?" he asks softly, to which you nod against his neck, "Mhm, have to go back within 10 minutes if I don't want my teacher to give me an earful again." he hums, giving you one last squeeze before stepping back.
He only pinches your puffed out cheeks, "Don't give me that look, I'll come pick you up after school okay? I think Umemiya misses talking to you as well." Upon hearing that, your eyes brighten immediately before skipping past him out of the alleyway, "Promise to not be late?"
"When have I ever been?"
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Another boy who does not know how to function when he's touch deprived! But unlike Sakura, he does know when he is indeed needing for some more cuddles than normal.
But he's awkward, he doesn't know how to actually go on about asking for hugs. Yes in his mind it's logical to just straight up ask you for a hug, or if you can just sit in front of him so he can lean his forehead on the nape of your neck and just breathe in your fragrance. Very easy to do!
Easier said than done. Especially when he's the type to not do anything before you give him permission - yes he's still scared of hurting you even though when he's around you, he's fully in control of his emotions and reactions. But there's always a lingering feeling, you know?
Still jumps in surprise at times when you graze your fingers against any exposed part of his skin, but once he sees it's you - best believe he's holding onto you till someone calls him out.
He's more prone to initiate more contact when you're alone, being that in public he's prone to get teased (whether that's voluntarily by his classmates or involuntarily by Umemiya's comments on how soft he's gotten)
So as a compromise to his awkward self when you're in public, you'll get random visits from Kaji numerous times a week - which is a silent request to just have you in his arms.
Kaji's attention is taken away from his phone when he feels your fingers graze against his chin. Glancing down, he cocks his head to the side while pushing his headphones down to rest on the nape of his neck. "What's up?" he inquires softly, you don't say anything at first - merely directing your fingers towards his cheeks to graze against his skin there.
"Weren't you supposed to patrol today?" you ask, bringing your other free hand to push Kaji's hand that's holding onto his phone to your eye level. "In around 15 minutes yeah, I just left earlier." he answers, his fingers that were absentmindedly stroking your head grazing a few stray strands away from your forehead.
"It already takes 10 minutes from Furin to my house though? Shouldn't you leave soon?" you point out, but instead of rising from his lap to let him get up from the floor, you merely roll to your side to bury your face against his stomach before becoming still - leaving Kaji with both arms in the air, waiting for you to move.
"If you let me go, that is." he finally says after a second of silence, he can feel your slight nod before you plant your hands beside him to heave yourself up from his lap. And in the blink of an eye, you're at eye level with Kaji - his breath hitching at the close proximity.
"Don't come back with too many bruises, alright?" you remind, before slotting your lips briefly over his own. As you lean back you pull his headphones snugly over his ears again, mouthing something that makes Kaji roll his eyes. "You still let me inside regardless, so that threat doesn't work anymore."
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butchvamp · 2 years
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everything really is just such a chore these days i have no motivation no passion... drawing is a chore writing is a chore reading is a chore playing games watching movies painting my nails or taking a shower or just getting out of bed just waking up is all a chore. like i can’t find joy in anything no matter how much i try to force it and the few fucking times i am happy now it’s so fleeting and it’s always immediately followed by weeks if not months of feeling absolutely fucking miserable. and i’ve tried everything like for years i have tried everything i tried medication i tried working out going for walks eating “healthy” i got out of my comfort zone i forced myself to do things i never ever thought i would do i even “prioritized my mental health” i took breaks and i worked hard and really tried and none if it matters cus i’m just going to be miserable and alone forever. every friend i have ever had eventually moves on and makes their life better and im so happy for them but i stay here rotting and getting worse and worse every year no matter how much i try to change or “be positive” at this point i’ve been waiting and pushing for it to “get better” for over a decade and it clearly isn’t coming like at what point. at what point can this shit just end already
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loppsided · 2 months
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d. lizewski as your boyfriend
summary: dating dave lizewski headcanons!
pairing: dave lizewski x fem!reader
wc: 407
warnings: smut at the end
a/n: omg!! thank you guys so much for 100 followers that so cool. but also tell me why my friend read my last fic chy im so embarrassed, if ur reading this hai heh. heres a little drabble with some smutty stuff as a filler until i can make a real fic again. likes and reblogs appreciated!
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clingy as hell! this goes hand and hand with him being a jealous bf, hes always holding some part of you, because he wants people to know your his and also because he loves touching you
hes a jealous boyf cuz hes a little insecure, not growing up with a lot of female attention then bagging a beautiful girl like you can make him doubt himself
but you always reassure him, telling him hes the best thing to happen to you and he returns those feelings
you cleaning him up after he gets off patrol and him being completely covered in bruises and marks
scolding him on how dangerous being kick ass is and if he isn't gonna be more careful, you want him to stop
it taking him forever to admit to you he was kickass cause he didn't want you to judge him
comic book dates where you buy dinner and a new comic book and he tells you every detail about it
random rants while watching his favorite shows or movies on what's accurate and what's not
him sneaking into your window late at night to cuddle
him bragging to his friends about how perfect you are and how your the best girl in town
make out sessions after school in alleys behind dumpsters
movie nights at his place, you two are curled up on his bed with a bowl of popcorn but by the end of the movie, the popcorn's on the floor, and your both making out
definitely a hand holder like he'll hold your hand wherever, he doesn't care who see's
loves pda cause he likes when you show him off
threatens to beat up anyone who messes with you, but you decline with a giggle
nsfw below the cut
loves make out sessions, could literally eat your face for hours
definitely whimpers lmfao hes such a crybaby when hes about to cum
you guys took each others v cards, so even though your first time was super sloppy and you didnt exactly finish, it was still so amazing and romantic
def a tits guy, will just stare at them for as long as possible
hes one of those gross tongue kissers that doesn't really ease into the kiss, he just shoves his tongue down your throat *you dont really mind that tho*
him fucking you in his suit, it turns him on so bad, him being fully clothed while ur bare in front of him
DEFINITELY A MUNCH literally will eat you out for hours asking "is this good?"
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honeyed-disgraceful · 2 years
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My coworker: we are the opposite Lu, I'm hot and narcissistic, you're hot and hate yourself
Me: bro we're the two sides of a medal
Him: ok now are you finally gonna fuck me
Me: no :)
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cdbabymp3 · 8 days
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𐙚editor!reader hc's ― hamzahthefantastic
notes/warnings: sfw and nsfw portions !! reader is hamzah's roomie :3
**for this dynamic i also made reader and hamzah both virgins, which comes up in these hc's and will come up more in the future if that's smth y'all want me to elaborate on!**
chat i think im back .......
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(sfw)
-getting constantly shouted out in vlogs
"shout out, y/n, our editor. she's on the front lines going through all this footage for you, slushies, yall better be grateful."
-eventually face revealing by being on an episode of the pod. it's titled smth like 'and they were roomates' or 'editor reveal (real)' idk
-the whole pod episode hamzah keeps looking at you every time you speak and 'accidentally' touches your thigh
-there's so many fan accs on tiktok that clip it and air tf out of him 😭😭😭😭
-hazmah tries to explain the dynamic of living with his editor on the pod, but even he doesn't know exactly what it is (and neither do you)
-as unprofessional as it may seem, somehow it works
-hamzah never lets you do all the work. he always offers to help you out when you're starting to get tired or in a slump
"hamzah, it's my job. lemme just finish this-"
"nah, you're clocking out for the night. you've been dismissed." he shoos you away from your shared work desk that you've been sitting at for hours
-as unprofessional as it is, you can't deny how massive of a fucking crush you have on him....especially when he pulls that domestic shit on you
-when you're exhausted from editing, he'll make you food or take you on a late night drive for ice cream in your pj's
-grocery shopping omg he loves that shit so bad !! on sundays you guys go to the store and hit up the farmer's markets downtown. hamzah gets excited every time, he'll wake up hella early each time he's so cute :,)
-if you're not from toronto or canada, he'll show you around his favorite places. in general, he's just happy to have someone to share stuff with (i'll cry)
-CASUAL DOMINANCE !!!! him being your boss and giving you deadlines for vids makes you blush so hard. he's never ever bossy/rude, but he's firm and technical about how he envisions certain vids and you want to deliver for him
-no matter how many times you run through the final edit with him, you still get nervous
-you're hanging onto his every word and facial expression, praying that he likes the way the vid turned out (he always likes it)
-you loves when he laughs at your editing choices, it's lowkey your goal to make him smile/laugh...equal parts job validation and crush validation 🙇‍♀️
-being roommates has led to many, manyyyyy late night mukbangs
-i can just imagine y'all at 2am eating a whole spread of food on the floor in the living room and talking about deep stuff
-speaking of deep stuff, it took you guys a couple months to open up to each other, but one night you were both editing super late and somehow the topic of sex came up....
-you guys bonded over being late bloomers, agreeing to keep each other's secret, which in turn made you closer
-being the slushy editor (and videographer sometimes) means getting to go on trips with them for vids !!!
-getting to go to curaçao and having the room next to hamzah's in the hotel.... (i'll make a separate thing abt this dw)
-i feel like the fans would love you and honestly prefer you and mandy over the boys lmfao
-mandy is so big sister <333 she's so happy to have another girl to be around at long last
-when hamzah and martin are arguing over smth in a vid, they'll drag you in for a third party opinion bc mandy has given up
-if you fall asleep on the couch watching a movie, hamzah will carry you to your bed or at least put a blanket over you. it kinda depends if he's feeling brave or not.
(intimate stuff, some nsfw)
-the sexual tension in the apartment is through the mf roof
-the funny part is neither of you do anything to initiate it, it's just so natural AND YOU BOTH FEEL IT BUT ARE TOO SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING !!!!
-sometimes hamzah will come home from the gym while you're editing...he'll have a thin, fitted shirt on, all sweaty and tired looking
-you pretend not to notice him, fiddling away on your computer with your headphones on (no volume playing ofc), but you have to clench your thighs together sometimes bc the sight is nearly too much to handle
-shower time gives you a heart attack each night
-a couple months into living together, hamzah gave up on getting dressed in the bathroom after his showers, so he'll walk out with just a towel around his waist and grab a drink from the fridge
-when you guys have movie night and there's a graphic sex scene he gets so awkward omfg...he'll go get smth from the kitchen or make a stupid joke so he doesn't get #bricked pretending it's you and him doing those things
-you're almost certain you've heard him jerk off a couple times, but obviously you're too scared too investigate further
-little do you know, he's jerking off to you 🎀
-you wonder if he's ever heard you masturbate, especially bc you're walls are so thin.🗿.......you try to do it when's out, but sometimes him being a wall away from you turns you on too much
-yes, he's knocked on your door in the middle of you doing it 😭
"y/n!! the landlord is here, she has a couple questions and i don't know the answers, please come help me...she scares me."
"i-uh..shit, ok, hamzah, just give me a sec !!!" you're scrambling, trying to put yourself together so it's not obvious you were literally just thinking about him fucking you
-even though you know it's fucked up, him being your boss makes you horny 🤕
-especially when he's peering over your shoulder, pointing out things he thinks you should add to the video. the smell of his cologne, the gentle cadence of his voice, how his hand takes the mouse from your hand and he mumbles a little apology under his breath....lawd....
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໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @42angelgirl + let me know if u wanna be added !!!!!
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moe-broey · 10 months
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Piercing bump jumpscare......... 😔💔
Only on my left fang! But man that is a bummer... esp bc healing has gone so smoothly otherwise. From what it seems like though, I should be able to do some at home treatments and Hopefully it'll pass.
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shotmrmiller · 6 months
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Consider this: Firefighter! Simon who’s obsessed with you so he sets fire to your apartment building so he can save you
LMFAO!!! wait! he knows what they look for when they're trying to figure out if it was purposefully set off or an accident.
he doesn't wait for the green light or nothing just barges in (literally, the door comes off the top hinge and there's a nasty splintered crack in the very middle) and even though you're crawling on all fours ready to get out, he picks you up by the waist and takes his sweet ass time walking out the building.
if you tell him that you're fine, to please let you down he snaps out a harsh no.
if you squirm in his arms, he tightens his hold to where you whimper in pain.
once he sets you down by the ambulance, his hand definitely brushes over your arse and you stiffen. the emt is like we got it ty but simon doesn't budge, stands directly behind you even when price is calling him over to help with the bloody fire, you dolt!!
maybe simon helps with searching the burnt remains and makes sure no one finds any evidence.
simon being an arsonist while also a firefighter is nutty. like he lives for the thrill of the scorching heat and the acrid smoke stinging his nose. something about the burn in his throat really gets his blood pumping. he's an adrenaline junkie but not in a sane sense because when he jumps off cliffs the only life that's at risk is his (which he doesn't particularly care for) and that's simply no fun.
there's no real risk behind bungee jumping and skydiving. he wants to feel like if he fucks up, there will be severe consequences and that is what he lives for.
and he's crazy over you (literally. he burnt your house down then quietly offered you a place to stay.)
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