#this fic brought to you by: Closer by Nine Inch Nails

[coiled-dragon]

//Closer//

Dracula+Renfield - Dracfield Explicit Tags: Priest!Renfield, No Lube, Anal Sex

Renfield worships his new god

[mamaestapa]

Closer|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•summary: After the first pre-season game of the season, Joe helps you become somebody else while you help him get away from himself…

•word count: 4.4k

•warnings: SMUT, inspired by the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails, unprotected p in v sex, rough sex, oral sex (male and female receiving) ,foreplay, hair pulling kink, whipped cream, belly shots, brief blindfolding (inspired by @tigertales9 fic) reader has a belly button piercing (even if you don’t have one, you do for this fic bc it’s so hot), blood, choking, SMUT, this is pure filth (i think it’s so cringe i’m so sorry babes😭)

You were sitting on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram as you waited for Joe to get back home from Paycor stadium.

Tonight was the first pre-season game of the 2023 season. While Joe wasn't able to play tonight due to his calf strain (and the Bengals not playing starters), you still attended the game to show your support for your boyfriend and his team. The game didn't quite go the way you or the fans had hoped, but you had to remind yourself—It's just pre-season.

During the game, you sat up in the suite with Morgan, Holly, Jess, and some of the other Bengals WAGS. As you sat up in the suite, you split your attention between the game and your phone—scrolling through Instagram and Twitter to try and find a photo or a video of Joe. Since he wasn't playing tonight, you weren't seeing much of him. As soon as you opened Twitter, you came across a video of Joe on the sidelines.

You pressed play, eyes widening as you watched the clip. Joe was wearing a black shirt and shorts with the Bengals logo on both articles of clothing. His right calf was covered with a black sleeve and he had on a bucket hat. In the video he took the hat off, running his fingers through his grown out hair before putting a backwards cap on instead. 

Your heart raced and you crossed your legs as the video came to an end. Joe looked insanely hot on the sidelines in all black wearing a backwards cap. Something about that look had you going absolutely feral and feeling your pulse in other areas.

You shut your phone off and set it down in your lap. You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth as you looked out onto the field, watching the rest of the game.

You couldn't wait for the game to be over...

So here you are now a couple hours later: sitting on the couch and waiting for Joe to come home. Just as you picked up your phone to check the time, Joe entered the house through the garage. He set his belongings down on the counter, huffing out a loud sigh as he did so. You chuckled to yourself and got up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. A small smile pulled at Joe's lips as he looked at you.

"Hey hot stuff." you greeted as you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend. Joe chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, leaning down to kiss your temple. "Hey yourself."

You hummed and pulled away from Joe, looking into his soft blue eyes. Your eyes scanned Joe's figure, taking in his beautiful eyes, his chiseled jawline, and that stupid backwards cap that had you feeling things you shouldn't be feeling. You brought a hand up to Joe’s head, slightly tipping the cap back which made Joe chuckle.

“What?” you asked coyly, even though you knew exactly what he was going to say to you.

“You have that look on your face.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Joe smirked and snaked his arms back around your waist, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You could feel the warmth radiating off of both of your bodies as you stood pressed against each other. Joe leaned in to the side of your head, his voice growing lustful as he spoke into your ear.

“You know exactly what look I’m talking about sweetheart…”

You pulled back from Joe, looking up at him with a slight smirk on your face. You brought your hand back up to the backwards cap on his head.

“You looked so good tonight Joey, in your all black and your backwards cap…” you sighed blissfully, “something about you on the sidelines has me all worked up.” Joe‘s eyes grew dark with lust as he smirked down at you. He gently squeezed your waist as he said, “Well maybe we should do something about that.”

“Maybe we should…” You trailed off. Before you knew it, your lips were smashed against Joe’s as you rushed into the bedroom, taking the cap off of his dark blonde hair and tugging at the hem of his black shirt.

…

Joe hooked his fingers underneath your t-shirt, ripping the black material off your body with ease as he continued to kiss you hungrily, wanting to taste more than just your soft lips. Joe's veiny hands gripped your bare sides as he pushed you up against the wall of his bedroom. His blue eyes grew dark with lust as he gazed down at your breasts sitting perfectly in a red, lace pushup bra. It was Joe's favorite bra of yours. It never failed to grow his arousal even more.

"Much better." Joe smirked as he eyed your perky breasts. He harshly cupped your left breast, digging his digits into the cup as he kissed along your jawline. Your breathing grew shallow as he bit at your skin. You threw your head back at the feeling of his lips, bringing your hands up to his unruly dark blonde waves and tugging at the tips as Joe began to suck harshly at your neck.

"Mmm," you moaned out as Joe's kisses grew sloppier. He pulled his face away from your neck, smirking slyly at you as he toyed with the waistband of your jean shorts. He slipped two fingers into your pants, brushing them up against your clothed core. You gasped as Joe's fingers teased your sensitive clit through the lace, his movements making the wetness between your thighs more apparent. Joe gave you a sultry look with his tongue pressed against the side of his mouth as he pulled his hand out of your shorts. Joe harshly pulled you away from the wall, pushing you down flat onto the bed instead. You let out a breath as excitement swirled through your body. You haven't been this way with Joe in a long time.

Joe ripped your buttoned shorts open with ease, slowly sliding them down your legs before tossing them to the floor next to the bed. His lustful eyes scanned over your body. He looked at your face first taking in those doe eyes and your plump lips. His eyes trailed down to your chest, his heart was racing as he looked at your breasts sitting perfectly in the cups lined with lace. He then trailed his eyes further, a smirk pulling at his lips as he looked at your perfectly pierced belly button and your lace covered core. You were the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes on.

As Joe looked at your figure, an idea came to his mind. Something he's never done before, but something he's wanted to try for a long time. He reached out to the bedside table and grabbed what he was thinking of.

"Put this on..." Joe trailed off, handing you his black headband with the Bengals logo in the middle. You eyed Joe as you took the headband from him, sliding it onto your forehead and wearing it just like he did. Joe shook his head at you and leaned in to grab the headband, pulling it down so your eyes were covered.

"There we go." He whispered huskily, his arousal growing at the sight of you blindfolded by his headband. "What are you doing?" You asked, voice quiet and also slightly confused. Joe has never blindfolded you before.

"You'll see." Joe purred as he trailed a hand down your body. Your core ached and your heart fluttered at the thought of trying something different with Joe. Not only were you excited, but your body was excited, too. You closed your eyes as they were met with darkness from the headband. You couldn't see anything, but you could hear everything going on. Joe grabbed the whipped cream and the bottle of rosé from the bedside table. He took the lid off of the whipped cream, shaking it before taking the lid off and putting it in between his lips. He spit the lid out, the red cap hitting the wall behind the two of you before it fell to the floor.

Joe eyed your breasts as he shook the can of whipped cream in one hand. He reached out for you with his other hand, placing it on your left rib. His long, skilled fingers slowly trailed up your sides, making you shiver at the sensation. Joe unclasped your bra, wetting his lips as he watched the red material fall from your chest, letting your breasts free. Joe pressed the white tip of the whipped cream can. He made a circular motion with the can as he sprayed the cream onto your hard nipples. As soon as he was satisfied with the amount, he threw the can to the side and immediately attached his mouth to the sensitive bud, sucking at the sweet cream that adorned your breasts. His tongue swirled over each of your nipples, making sure to lap up every last bit of the sweet cream.

"Oh Joe," you let out a breathy moan at the feeling of Joe's tongue swirling around your hard nipples. You could feel yourself getting wetter just from him lapping up the whipped cream. Joe chuckled at your reaction as he detached his lips from your right breast. He leaned over and grabbed the bottle of rosé off of the bed and pulled the cap off with a slight pop. You pulled Joe's headband off of your eyes just in time to see him bring the tip of the bottle down to your belly, letting it rest against your skin as he poured the rosé into your belly button. He eyed you as he quickly slurped the rosé as some of the liquid trickled down your sides

"That's new." You said, an amused smile on your face as you watched Joe slurp the rose out of your belly button. Joe's never done belly shots from you either...

Tonight is already proving to be one of those nights where you and Joe help each other become someone else together, not only romantically but sexually, too.

Slurping out all the rosé, Joe bit down on the jewelry adorning your navel. He loved to play with your piercing during sex. Something about the silver diamond jewelry just got him even more excited. You brought your hands down to Joe's hair, running your nails over his scalp as he continued to bite at and play with your navel piercing. You bit your lip and let out a soft whimper as he tugged harshly at the ring while gently cupping your breasts as he did so.

You could feel Joe's chuckle vibrate against your belly. "You like that?" he asked, a teasing smirk on his face as he looked up at you through his lashes. "Mhm..." You trailed off, your response coming out as a blissful moan. It was hard for you to form words right now with the way Joe was teasing you. Joe smirked as he kissed down your belly, his hot breath against the skin of your abdomen making that warmth pool in your belly already. Tonight was supposed to be about you taking care of Joe, but right now, it seemed like Joe was taking care of you instead. Joe stopped his trail of kisses once he got to the waistband of your lace panties. Your eyes widened in disbelief, your heart pounded with excitement, and your pulse was felt in your most intimate area as you watched Joe hook his finger into the waistband of your panties. But his finger wasn't the only thing trying to take your panties off...

Joe lowered his head so that he was now lined up with your clothed core that was practically dripping just from the sight of him. He kept his blue eyes locked on yours as he bit down on the waistband of your red panties. He slowly started to pull the fabric away from your waist. You lifted your legs slightly, giving Joe just enough room to slide pull your panties down your legs with his mouth. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Not only could you not believe what you were seeing, but you loved what you were seeing. You've never seen Joe act this way before. Something about the hungry look in his eyes as he stared at your aching, dripping womanhood made you feel another level of turned on you've never quite felt before. Joe ripped your panties out of his mouth and threw them off to the side with the pile of other clothes. He lowered his head back down to your dripping core, his tongue instantly lapping at your glistening folds.

"Oh- fuck..."you whimper out as Joe ate you out like a starved man. Joe chuckled against your folds, the vibration sending what felt like an electric shock through your body as it made you jolt. Joe brought his veiny hands up to your thighs, keeping your legs spread open as he buried his tongue into you. He moaned against your core as the taste of your sweet juices hit his taste buds. You tasted like sweet honey...

"You taste so good, Y/n." Joe praised as he took a hand off of your thigh, placing it onto your womanhood and letting his thumb rub circles against your clit as he continued to lap at your soaked core. The feeling of both Joe's tongue and fingers sent you over the edge, turning you into a whimpering and quivering mess in no time. You bucked your hips slightly as Joe's movements quickened. His jaw clenched with each swipe of his tongue and the muscles in his forearm flexed with each stroke of his thumb. Your chest heaved as Joe licked a stripe up your core.

"Fuck Joey, don't stop..."

You brought your hands down to the back of your boyfriends head, gripping the ends of his hair as you pushed him closer to your center. Joe panted against you, feeling your walls clench around his tongue as you grew close to your first orgasm of the night. You let out a whimper as Joe pressed down on your lower belly with his hand. He knew you were getting close from the way the your chest rose and fell, and how your hips were bucking every time his tongue swirled over your clit.

"That's it baby," Joe praised, "Let me taste you."

You let out a few more whimpers, moaning Joe's name in pleasure as you felt the familiar warmth in your lower belly. Soon enough, your chest was heaving as it all came crashing down and you were overcome with complete pleasure and bliss. Joe lapped up your juices with his tongue, pulling his face away from your soaked core. He licked his lips dry, making sure to get every last drop of you into his mouth. Joe smirked as he watched you come down from your orgasmic high, your heaving chest soon going back to its normal rythmuc rising and falling.

"I don't think I've ever seen you cum that hard." He smirked, a sense of pride in his tone as he spoke. "That was hot."

“All because of you.” You replied, still trying to catch your breath and recover from your climax.

Joe pulled you up into a sitting position before crashing his lips onto yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trailing your hands down his back as your nails dug into his skin. You could taste yourself on Joe's lips as the two of you shared a passionate kiss. As his toned body was pressed against yours, you could feel Joe's erection poking at your thigh. It was his turn to be taken care of now. You were going to help him get away from himself for a few minutes...

You pulled away from Joe, smirking up at the blonde quarterback as your hand traveled south, brushing over his erection as you spoke, "Your turn, Joey."

Joe bit his lip in anticipation as he watched you slide out from the bed, moving so that you were now directly in front of him. You gave Joe a sultry look as you slowly got down on your knees in front of him. Despite his calf strain keeping him out for several weeks, making him miss another pre-season yet again, Joe felt like the luckiest guy in the world right now. You reached out and palmed Joe through his boxers, making him wince slightly at the feeling of your hand on his manhood.

"May I?" You asked, gesturing to his undergarments. Joe couldn't form words, so he just nodded. He needed you so bad.

He needed to feel your soft lips around him.

He needed to feel your soft hands around him.

He needed to feel you take him deeper, and deeper.

Joe lifted himself from the bed, helping you remove his boxers from his body. Once the boxers were removed from his waist, Joe's impressive erection sprang free. He sat back down on the bed as you prepared to take him. You gazed hungrily at him just like he did at you moments ago when you were the one being pleasured. You bit down on your bottom lip as you placed your manicured hands on Joe's thick, muscular thighs, spreading them apart as you slowly leaned down. Joe closed his eyes as he waited for the feeling of your lips around him, taking him in deeper with each bob of your head. You brought your lips down around the tip of his dick, pulling them off with a pop as your tongue teased his slit, licking the pre-cum off of the red tip. Between the feeling of your warm breath and your tongue toying with his manhood, Joe threw his head back.

"Fuck," he groaned deeply as you slowly took more of him into your mouth. Your lips were sealed around the head of his cock, sucking and licking tentatively at his skin. Joe bit his tongue, holding back the sounds of pleasure as you suck him off. He let out a strangled sound as you took more of him into your mouth. As you started bobbing your head, Joe couldn’t stop himself from bringing his hands up to your hair and pulling you closer to him.

"Fuck, Y/n-," Joe moaned out as you spit on his dick, jerking him off with your lips still around him. Joe hasn't felt this good in weeks. The stress of training camp, dealing with a calf injury, and trying to be ready to go by week one has put a toll on Joe's mind and body. But right now, he wasn't thinking about any of that stuff. All he was thinking about was you and how you make him feel. You make him feel perfect. You always have and you always will.

You bobbed your head rhythmically, making Joe moan in pleasure. "You're doing so good sweetheart," he praised as he noticed the tears in your eyes from his size, "So good."

You could tell Joe was growing closer to his release because every time you bobbed your head you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth. Joe's chest heaved up in down as his face contorted into a look of pleasure. He let out a few grunts as he came undone in your mouth. You brought him into a pure state of bliss, something he hasn't felt in a while. You pulled your mouth off of him and swallowed, giving him a couple minutes to come down and recover from his high.

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails begins playing…

You stood up from being on your knees, standing in between Joe's legs as you leaned down and crashed your lips onto his. Your mouths moved in perfect sync as you let him taste himself on your lips just like he had done for you. Joe bit down on your bottom lip, making you wince slightly as he drew blood. Joe licked the blood off of your lip before attaching his lips to yours once again. The metallic taste of your blood filling both yours and Joe's mouths as the drops of crimson hit your taste buds. Joe continued to kiss you hungrily, his movements urgent as he gripped your waist with the pads of his fingers. He pushed you down onto the bed, bringing you underneath him as he hovered over you. Joe inched closer to your ear, his hot breath on your neck sending shivers up your spine.

"I'm gonna fuck you till you're screaming my name and shaking so hard you won't be able to walk."

His husky voice and the words he uttered down at you made you bite your lip in anticipation. Joe gently bit down on your earlobe, slightly tugging on it as he brought his head away from your neck. Joe hovered over you with his left arm on the mattress as his right arm played with you. He harshly kneaded your left breast as his thumb and index finger pinched your sensitive, hard nipple. He did the same thing to your right breast as he began to suck relentlessly as your neck, making you moan in pleasure as he marked his territory. Joe wanted everyone to know that your were his, and only his. Joe licked a stripe up your neck, his hot breath hitting your sensitive skin as he whispered huskily into your ear.

"Here we go."

Joe slid his cock into your slick entrance, burying himself deep inside of you. The feeling of his impressive length made your thighs clench and your eyes squeeze shut as you let out a moan. Joe snapped his hips forward, making your hips buck up, matching his rough thrusts. You wrap your legs around Joe, allowing him to thrust harder, faster, deeper.

"God," he groans out as your walls clench around his cock, "You feel so good." His grunts mixed with the sounds of your moans and skin hitting skin.

Joe could feel himself getting away from himself and his thoughts of the game tonight as he fucked you senseless. Each thrust of his hips and groan that escaped his lips had you feeling pleasure in all the right places. Joe buried his face in your neck as you scratched harshly at his back. Joe left sloppy kisses on your neck as he pulled his hips forwards, roughly thrusting into you. In and out. In and out. In and out. Each thrust grew deeper, the tip of Joe's cock hitting your cervix repeatedly made your body jolt with pleasure. You screamed his name as Joe grunted under his breath.

"Fuck," he praised, "You feel so good, so tight."

Joe continued to fuck you senseless, making you feel as if your whole existence was flawed as you laid underneath him. You immediately grew submissive from his touch, seeming to lose every ounce of dominance in your body. The sounds of yours and Joe's moans filled the bedroom, as all you could smell was sweat and sex. After you let out a particularly loud moan, Joe brought his hand up to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it and squeezing you gently. You gasped at the feeling of your lovers hand around your neck as he ruthlessly thrusted himself into you, pushing deeper and deeper.

"Joe," you moaned out as you placed your hand over his that was around your neck, "don't stop."

Joe shook his head and removed his hand from your neck as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead, falling onto his lip. He leaned down and crashed his lips onto yours. You could taste the saltiness of his sweat as his tongue swirled around your own. Your bodies continued to move in a perfect rhythm as you and Joe became panting and moaning messes underneath each others touch. You felt a familiar warmth pool in your lower belly. You were so close.

"I'm so close Joe." You practically whined as Joe picked up the pace of his rough thrusts. Soon enough, your walls were clenching around Joe's cock. The clenching of your slick walls around him made Joe grunt. He could feel every inch of you from the inside, and it felt amazing.

"Fuck," Joe growled, his deep voice making your body jolt in pleasure once again. The sound of him, the feeling of him, and the smell of him made you grow even closer to your orgasm.

Joe could feel your walls clench once again, this time with more force. He knew you were close.

"That's it baby," Joe pleaded, his chest heaving as he panted, "cum for me. I wanna feel you." He continued to pound into you, making sure you felt every single inch of him. The feeling of his large cock filling you up made your legs shake as you moaned in pleasure. You came down harshly on Joe's cock, your hands coming up to his head and tugging at his dark blonde locks as he had you seeing stars. You whimpered out his name as your chest heaved up and down. You were completely blissed out as Joe continued to pump into you. He reached his climax shortly after you, groaning, and gripping onto your thighs as spurts of his hot cum filled your insides.

Joe fucked you so hard that both of you were completely blissed out, not thinking straight and feeling yourselves being brought closer to god. Joe pressed his forehead against yours as you both came down from your highs, chests heaving and bodies sticky with sweat.

“I love you so much.” He breathed out, his hot breath hitting your face as he spoke. “I love you too Joey.” You said, your breathing matching his. Joe pulled out of you and plopped down on the bed next to you, pulling you into his side. You immediately laid your head on his right pec, wrapping your arms around his sticky torso as you laid on him.

“That was amazing.” You said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything except just lay here.” Joe smirked down at you as he gently stroked your bare arm with his fingertips. “Well,” he breathed out, “I think I should wear that backwards hat more often.”

You craned your neck up to look at your boyfriend, chuckling softly at his sly remark.

“I think you should too.” You replied honestly.

You definitely think Joe should wear that backwards cap and all black combo a lot more often. Seeing him in that outfit made you act and feel like somebody else…and you absolutely loved it.

hi loves!!

uhh so this was something different than what i usually write LOL. but i was listening to music and this song came on and i was hit with an idea…so i just had to write something😂

i apologize if this was super cringy or not what you were hoping for/expecting! im kind of shocked i was able to write something like this

i’d appreciate some feedback, but if you don’t want to say anything i completely get it ;)

i’ll be updating daddy issue’s tomorrow, and it’s the complete OPPOSITE of whatever this was lol.

thank you for all of you kind words and support with my writing. you are the best! i love talking with all of you and getting to share my work with you. THANK YOU ALL🤍🤍

tags: @hoodharlow @wickedfun9 @bernelflo @ilovejoeburroww @klips118 @killatravtramp @katelyn102 @theflawedwriter @kristencochefski1125 @schumacherburrow @samanthamark5 @joeys-babe @sinners-98-world @burrowstyles5 @m-1234 @marz22224 @emaanemaa

[bloodwrittenballad]

The King | Pornstar!Steve Harrington x Porn!StarReader

Summary: Steve Harrington was The King

*Kinda Inspired by Stargirl Interlude by The Weeknd*

Warnings: SMUT, oral, crying during sex, afab!reader, both Steve and Reader are bisexual, creampie, spanking, Pornstar!Steve has tattoos, Dom!Steve, Sub!Reader, swearing, praise, dirty talk. DO NOT interact if you are a MINOR. 18+ ONLY.

And here we have it, folks, my most (un)holy creation yet… pornstar!steve. I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty fuckin proud of this fic, I think it’s one of my favorites and I hope it’s one of yours too. Who knows, maybe Pornstar!Steve will become a recurring character?

The heat of the lights were nothing compared to the heat in between your legs, the dripping of your cunt leaking all over the kitchen counter top. Your costar, Steve, one of the industry’s most profound actors, sat between your legs. His tongue reaching and exploring places no one has ever been able to before.

Your nails scratched against the counter, looking for something, anything, to hold you to the earth while he sent you to cloud nine. Back arched like a cat, you moaned and whined passionately, his groans of pure pleasure hitting deep inside of your throbbing core.

“Fuck,” you cried and instinctively squeezed your thighs around his head. He hummed a laugh at how needy you were, the way your already soaking wet cunt was dripping, in a way he has never seen before.

“That feel good, baby?” Steve asked, his golden brown eyes blown away with lust, a cheeky glint held inside them. He fucking knew you felt good, after all, Steve Harrington was The King. Men and women all throughout the industry had nothing but the upmost praise for him, for his glorious and delicious mouth.

“I’m gonna come,” you said in a high pitched whine. Stars danced in your eyes, or maybe that was the studio lighting, either way you were about to burst. Each lick, suck, flick of his hot and rough tongue on your clit brought you closer to your desperate release

Steve’s smile could be felt between your thighs, as he worked you up and beyond that glorious threshold of pleasure. “Then come, baby. Come on my tongue,”

It hit you like a tidal wave, literally. A splash of wet, intoxicating cum sprayed Steve’s face, his tongue still at a relentless pace as he worked you through your world shifting orgasm. “Holy shit,” he swore.

His swollen lips finally pulled away from your aching core, a rush of cold air hitting in between your thighs once he fully stood up and towered over you. His tall, naked glory in front of you, looking like a fucking God

Steve’s toned chest was covered in a layer of dark hair, which was one of his most critically acclaimed physical features. He kept every inch of hair, wether it was from the top of his head or… lower, very neat.

The sight of his v-line, with the happy trail and all, made your mouth water. His hard cock, which was red at the tip and oozing with precum, had you all but writhing upon the cool slab of stone countertop.

Steve watched with heavy eyes, noticing the hungry look you had on your face, mouth open and panting. Your tongue darted out and swiped over your lower lip, the drippy pink smudging your sparkly lipgloss.

He leaned forward in a rush, capturing your mouth on his, his own tongue diving deep inside of you once more. Your eyes widened, you could taste yourself on his lips, tangy but also sweet. That’s not what caught you off guard, however. You’ve tasted yourself before on many other people, but it was mostly because they’d stuff their fingers in your mouth and throat.

You were known to not be much of a kisser, your mouth usually being used for “better” things, but Steve’s bold and rather unscripted kiss had you sweltering in heat. A rush of wet hitting your thighs, this was one of the best you’ve ever had. Or, he was.

The prop countertop became to slippery you almost flew forward, yelping into his mouth, but his big and hard body kept you upright. One hand on your upper back for support, the other was right above your ass.

He squeezed, making you moan, breaking away from the impromptu make out session. Your lips were so puffy, your eyes blown wide as you looked up at him and said, “I need your cock.” Dragged out in a whine.

Steve huffed out his own needy, aching, whine. But he covered it with a laugh, “Yeah?” He says teasingly, “Yeah,” you moan, pretty much breathlessly. “Where do you want it?” He whispered and growled, licking a strip of your ear as he moved his hands up and down.

He explored your body, the tattooed muscle dipping between your curves and everything your beautiful body had to offer him. His gaze caught itself on your chest, taking in the way your breasts sat so prettily.

Steve didn’t waste a moment taking one of your rock hard nipples into his mouth, the sharp gasp you let out, hands gripping onto the countertop for dear life. It felt so good, he felt so good. He hasn’t even used his cock on you yet, and you already felt fucked out.

“Please, please,” you panted and pawed at his shoulders. “Gotta have your cock.” Upon hearing that, Steve’s lips departed from your nipple with a pop. You almost cried when you saw the string of drool connecting his mouth and your breast.

He saw it too, and fuck, did it spur him on. Within seconds, he had his cock aligned with your entrance, he couldn’t wait to feel you. He’s heard all about you, also from both men and women from the industry. Mostly from his good friend, Robin, you and her having worked together multiple times now.

Ever since then it’s been like a fantasy, a dream, to work with you. He had to pinch himself throughout the day to make sure he wasn’t imagine this, that he really truly was getting the million dollar chance to work with you. He felt like the luckiest person alive.

With a look that went deep inside your eyes and into your very soul, Steve wordlessly asked you if you were still okay. You nodded, giving him the green light to go ahead and fuck you. He took, and he did.

His cock entered you with great fervor, both of you letting out loud moans. Your legs wrapped around Steve’s hips, keeping you steady as he fucked into your sopping wet and tight cunt. “Jesus Christ,”

You threw your head back, arching and writhing like a person possessed. “God damn, baby. Knew this cunt would be tight, but I didn’t imagine this. You’ve got me like a fuckin vice, so wet and tight.” Steve greatly praised you, or… maybe he was mocking you. Either way, you felt amazing. He was reaching places inside of you no one else ever has, his cock hitting perfectly.

His speed was relentless, your already sensitive and sore body was on a different astral plane, you even forgot that this was just strictly work and this was not an every day thing. You fucking wish it would be.

“Fuck,” tears began to stream down your hot cheeks, and you couldn’t help but love it. The stars began to cloud your vision again, dancing above the two of you as you worked yourselves closer and closer to release. “You close again?” Steve asked, his voice dipping in a low tease as he said the word “again”

His “King Steve” persona, while at times incredibly hot and somewhat endearing, was also apparently a huge pain in the ass. Him being a household name went to his head at times, it seemed, but hey you had to hand it to him… he did truly live up to the title.

You rolled your eyes at his attitude, but played it off as a look of pleasure. After all, you had to sell it. And fuck, would you. Little did you know, was that after you two uploaded this, all hell would break loose and your audiences wouldn’t be able to get enough of the two of you together. They’d be begging for more…

Much like you were right now, so close to letting go, legs tightening around his hips and forcing him to move closer. If that was possible, he was already so close and deep inside you. His dark pubic hair teased and tickled your skin, but it also burned. The rough and intense rubbing of skin on skin, felt delicious.

Mouth hung open, your hands had switched from their place and the cold counter, to his back. You clung for dear life, nails digging into his tender skin and dragging down until they rested above his ass.

You bit your lip to hold back a smirk when an idea passed through your somewhat foggy mind, and you went with it. Slapping the skin, his ass jiggled slightly and he tensed, and his movement stopped abruptly.

You couldn’t help the needy clench around his cock, so close to letting go. Steve’s tattooed hand reached up to grab your chin and look you straight in your eyes, feeling how desperate you were. You gulped nervously when you saw the dark fire in his eyes.

Then, within a flash, you were off of your sitting position on the counter and instead being bent over it. You gasped, shocked by his actions and by the cold of the stone on your stomach and breasts.

Your knees hit the baseboards of the cabinets, but you didn’t even have time to think about it or care, his cock slamming back inside of you. “Dirty, dirty.” Steve tutted, “I knew you were a little minx, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, your mind hazy.

You loved being talked to like this, it drove you over the edge every time. He could feel your cunt and how it clenched, one of his rough hands landed a harsh slap on your ass, the other in your hair as it tugged. “How does that feel, huh? You like getting slapped?”

Safe to say, yes. Yes, you absolutely fucking did.

“I’m gonna- fuck I’m, ah!” You moaned and held on to the counter, like your life depended on it. Steve’s pace began to get sloppier, you knew he was close too. “Cum with me, baby.” He encouraged, “cum on my cock, while I cum in this pussy.” And you did.

You came hard, earth shattering pleasure raining down of the both of you, as his cum filled you to the brim. He waited for a signal from the director, before he pulled away and twisted you back around. He spread your legs open and stepped to the side, so the camera man could get a close up of your ruined, cum covered cunt. You panted and moaned when you felt Steve’s fingers swirling around your pussy.

He tapped the camera man’s shoulder with his free hand and got him to turn the camera up to your face, before Steve’s cum covered fingers were stuffed in your mouth. You moaned tiredly, heavy eyes stare straight ahead at the camera, licking his fingers clean, until the red light is turned off. “Good work,”

You were both congratulated, and handed robes. Steve all too quickly for your liking put his on, smirking when he saw you looking. “Still can’t get enough, huh?” He teased. “Oh hush,” you said as you slipped the robe over your hot, sweaty body.

“It was really great getting to work with you,” Steve said earnestly, you smiled and felt the heat creep of from your thighs to your neck. “Hopefully we can do it again sometime,” he winked. “Now don’t get too hopeful, Harrington. I’m not so sure you can handle me more than once,” you mocked. Steve let out a chuckle, “Oh, I wouldn’t say that if I were you,”

Steve teased, “you might regret it someday…” He whispered in your ear, before backing away and walking towards his own green room. Leaving you there with shaking legs, a newfound rush of lust, and an extreme hope that there would be a someday.

☁︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ And Scene ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Tag list:

@yelenas-lova @k-k0129 @kylee-munson-barnes @yourlocalauthor @st-ls @stratospherewalker @gaiamuse @stevieswhore

[k8fics]

ok but since nathan is a confirmed nine inch nails fan…can we get a fic based on the song closer 👀

Closer

summary: nathan fielder x reader (nathan’s pov) — based on closer

rating: R — just plot with porn, nathan is a little freak & reader’s kind of detached at first

You let me violate you

You let me desecrate you

You let me penetrate you

You let me complicate you

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I know you told me not to, that you weren’t looking for anything too serious. But how do you expect me not to?

You let me touch you. You let me violate you. That’s all I can think about. You’re all I can think about.

(Help me) I broke apart my insides

(Help me) I’ve got no soul to sell

(Help me) The only thing that works for me

Help me get away from myself

I’ll be honest; I had a little help meeting you. I practiced approaching you for a month after I saw you in that bar, that bar you go to every Friday night. You’d call me creepy if you knew that. That’s fine, I just wanted to be closer to you.

I went there every week just to make the slightest eye contact with you. Until the day you came up to me. Hips swaying, eyes sparkling under the dim lights, and your smile. Holy shit, your smile.

You stepped right in front of my legs, confidence practically oozing off of you. I opened my mouth to greet you but nothing came out. I probably looked like a dying fish, you didn’t seem to care though. God, please help me.

“Hi.” You said. All you said was ‘hi’ and I was about to fall onto my knees right there.

“Hey, I'm Nathan.” I responded quickly, throwing anything I learned in my ‘practice rounds’ out the window.

I wanna fuck you like an animal

I wanna feel you from the inside

I wanna fuck you like an animal

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to God

I bought us way too many drinks. Luckily, I was in the right mind to reject your sexual advances. You only got as far as sitting on my lap and kissing me before I had to stop your hand from going down my pants. I wanted it to be real, as real as it could be.

My rejection didn’t seem to stop you though, since you invited me over to your house a few nights later. After us texting every day that week, you had put your number on my phone without me even knowing (or remembering, one of the two).

I panicked. I didn’t know what to wear or if I was supposed to bring over something; flowers, wine, condoms? I had no idea. You were content with the 'all of the above' option.

I was very overdressed considering you were wearing nothing but a long t-shirt and me in a button-up and jeans. I might’ve stared at your legs for a little longer than expected but when my eyes met your face you didn’t seem to mind.

We talked and drank the wine I brought. We were only one glass in before you placed a hand on my leg. I glanced at the hand before looking at you again, this time you were a lot closer than you were before.

You smiled at me, “Is it okay if I touch you?” You said so softly I wouldn’t be able to hear you if I wasn’t focused on your lips.

“Yeah..” I said just as softly. I wanted you so bad. I needed you

Things escalated from there; hungry lips, clashing teeth, hands roaming each others bodies. I was slower than you were with your motions. But God, you were so good. I just pulled you closer to me, as much as I could anyway.

You pulled away from me, I leaned in. “Do you want me?” You asked.

“Yes.” I responded quickly, “I want you.” I kissed you before pulling back, “I want to feel you.” I was becoming desperate at this point.

My validation seemed to work since you went back to kissing me.

You can have my isolation

You can have the hate that it brings

You can have my absence of faith

You can have my everything

It’s like you knew me like the back of your hand. Like you studied me the way I studied you. The way you knew every button to press, every movement calculated.

I was starting to study you more and more. What you liked, what you disliked. The way your hole tightens when my nose hits your clit, how you lean into me when my hands reach your face.

We met up several times after our first meeting, and every time we would have sex. It didn’t matter where we were, you craved it. Though, I probably craved it more.

I will say fucking you on a dirty public sink wasn’t my favorite thing, but you enjoy it. I enjoy the feeling of you squeezing against me, the way you look while being fucked out of your mind, the way you beg when you need it. When you need me.

Your eyes rolled back into your head, “Please, Nathan. Please.” While my cock plunged into your heat, head resting on your shoulder, eyes focused on the scene before me.

I looked up from my position, “Do you want me?” I said, getting my desperation out in the open. You said ‘yes,’ practically grinding on my member. “How bad?” I asked.

You barely took a second to respond, “So bad, baby.” You said, hands reaching behind me to grab my hair. I love when you do that.

I kissed you roughly before breaking away. “Again,” I ordered. You hummed in response, too fucked out to understand a simple task. “Say it again, sweetheart. Say how bad you want me.”

(Help me) Tear down my reason

(Help me) It’s your sex I can smell

(Help me) You make me perfect

Help me become somebody else

You told me you didn’t want anything serious after another night in my bed. I asked if you wanted to stay over, it was late and you were already half asleep after the events that just transpired.

You told me about how you could barely keep a stable relationship. Yet somehow, it made you even more perfect. You shared this information while naked in my bed, playing with my fingers. I often wonder how you could be so perfect.

I’m starting to think you’re making me a better person. Maybe the sex was so good, it made me healthier physically and mentally. I told you I think we would be great together. You laughed but agreed.

Through every forest, above the trees

Within my stomach, scraped off my knees

I drink honey inside your hive

You are the reason to stay alive

My cargo pants moved across the floor as I kneeled in front of you. You tasted like honey, I was just the bear devouring it.

Your nails scratching my scalp as I lick your juices, I was enjoying your reaction. Although, I enjoy all your reactions. You loved the way I made you feel. Obsessed with it even.

We had been seeing each other for five months now. We had talked about being each other’s partners instead of each other’s fuck buddies, which was definitely an upgrade.

You came screaming my name. I looked up at you, smiling proudly as you try to catch your breath. You pulled me up to kiss me. You told me you loved you, our lips barely touching.

I love being closer to you.

-

idk how to feel.. i’m literally beet red while writing this

[apocalypticgargoyle]

okay but imagine edgy!karl but with the spice of closer by nine inch nails just a thought

EVERYONE: WE'RE TAKING THE SONG AT FACE VALUE CHILLAX

edit by 🍭 anon. step on me.

𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞: "... 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋..." | 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐲!𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐥

link for Closer by NIN

warnings: smut (18+), thigh riding, vulgar language, temperature play, degradation, domination/submission, phone sex, mentions of alcohol and drinking, frat boys, smoking (inc. weed)

enjoy these vignettes of straight-up filth

other requests:

sorry no thoughts just edgy karl in a band. in all seriousness though i would kill for a band au with anyone

edgy!karl and like temp play? his tongue piercing got extra cold from the ice in his drink or something and then kisses the readers neck or something and the reader shivers and then he gets ~ideas~

sitting on edgy!karls leg in front of the whole frat, just a normal get together until karl starts bouncing his leg

In honor of me losing my voice for 3 days now, can we have Edgy!Karl reacting to you losing your voice because of him? I've said my piece -🍭

Ahhhhh okay so I had this dream where it was edgy Karl but the reader was riding him while he had his arms crossed behind his head and he was smoking a cigarette and just AHHHH. Can you extend on this pwease? :3 -🐙

mk hear me out, edgy karl. Phone sex ?

do you think that for your edgy! Karl fic we could get some more sub! Karl like he gets so drunk and all he wants to do is please the reader - 🥪

intoxicated seggs with karl (obviously not blackout drunk, fully consensual etc)

You weren’t sure how you ended up where you were, or even how Karl ended up where he was, on stage with a guitar slung over his shoulder as if it were made for him. He had gotten a call earlier in the night from a friend of his whose guitarist came down with the flu, and Karl was the only one he knew who could take over on such short notice.

You weren’t even aware he could play, let alone how good he would look in a torn-up t-shirt, lip ring caught between his teeth as he mindlessly strummed along to the music, sweat pooling at his temples from the lights and the exertion. His eyes always darted to you, looking for your flushed appearance as floods of dark themes flooded into your consciousness.

Girls were practically throwing themselves at him, yet with you in the crowd, his lust-blown pupils marked you as his target. As the set drew on, Karl sipped from a beer like the rest of the band, a cigarette dangling from his lips as clouds of smoke mixed into the air of fog. Finally, a cover song came on, one that you knew well. Its heavy beat served as the background music as memories flooded into your mind from when the song had played for the two in the past...

YOU LET ME VIOLATE YOU / YOU LET ME DESECRATE YOU ... YOU LET ME COMPLICATE YOU

You poured yourself a drink as Karl stood beside you, popping an ice cube in his mouth. It was your roommate’s birthday; nothing but a small gathering with a handful of your friends and some music. “Are you iron deficient, Karl?” You queried sarcastically, a nod to his ice chewing habits and a strange visit from your family members.

He rolled his eyes playfully. “I already told your grandmother that I’m fine,” he grumbled, teeth crunching down on the cube as if to demolish the story, making you giggle. He moved to step around you, arm wrapping around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your neck, his tongue ring grazing against your skin. You bit back a moan, body shivering at the feeling and he chuckled against your shoulder. “You like that, baby?” He mocked; voice husky at his realization that such a little action could get you excited so easily.

Later that night, Karl traced a path down your body with an ice cube between his pearly white teeth, grey irises watching your every reaction as he stopped at the hemline of your underpants. He traced a line down the lacy garment as you arched your back before pushing himself up on his arms and pushing the cube into your mouth. “Hold that for me, pet,” he stated, breath hot against your cold, wet skin, begging to be touched. His tongue dragged across your collarbones, the cool of the metal in his mouth making you moan around the ice in your mouth, grinding your hips against his.

As his cold mouth pressed against your inner thighs, you bit down on the cube, shattering it in your mouth as Karl chuckled. “We’re gonna have a fun night,” he promised, cold teeth nipping at your flesh to make you whimper.

I’VE GOT NO SOUL TO SELL … HELP ME GET AWAY FROM MYSELF

The club bathroom was dingy and dimly lit, but the cleanliness was the last thing on your mind as your fingers curled around the skin, Karl’s hand wrapped around your throat as he thrust into you roughly. Your makeup was running down your face from his spit and your sweat. The bass of the music was loud enough that it echoed around in the bathroom, setting Karl’s rhythm to his animalistic paces.

You smiled lazily, bliss covering your fucked out expression as he smirked at you in the reflection of the mirror with pride to see you in such a mess at his antics. His blunt nails dug into your hip, slamming your body against him as he used you like some kind of toy. His hand controlled your breathing, making you gasp for air as you rolled your hips against him, calling out his name loud enough to ricochet around the room.

The next morning, you went to answer Karl’s question about what you wanted for breakfast when your voice came out in barely a whisper. You shut your eyes in embarrassment with a hand closing over your mouth as his eyebrows raised at you. “What was that, baby? Let me hear you,” he mocked, walking over to press his thumb against your throat.

You shook your head, refusing to let him gloat about you losing your voice moaning his name the night before. He kissed you roughly, tongue pressing into your mouth to lap at your weak moans. His teeth dragged across your lips. “I said, I wanna hear you. I wanna be reminded how you lost your voice,” he stated darkly, a smug expression plastered across his face.

I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL / I WANNA FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE

With the party thundering into the night, you swiveled through the crowd of people grinding on each other, plastic cup in your hand as you returned to where Karl and a few of the other frat brothers were sitting. He pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you as you handed him the drink and picked your cards back up.

You’d been playing strip poker with the other guys, who were mainly drunk out of their mind and half-naked anyway. It also helped that Karl would whisper in your ear to guide you into burning and showing the right cards. He once told you about the group of men that taught him how to play during a trip to his father’s favorite country club.

His legs spread a bit more beneath you, shifting you in his lap to sit on his leg. Shamefully, your breath hitched in your chest, a blush spreading to your cheeks as your nails dug into his arm as if to tell you to stop. He tensed slightly before realizing that the only reason you reacted was because the friction was almost a tension reliever for you. You were already riding on your winning streak, but the last thing you could handle was the feeling of his thigh between your legs and in front of all the men drugged out on smoke and hard liquor.

Karl’s lips pressed to the back of your ear, his hand moving to switch a few of your cards around while the other gripped your waist. As you won the next hand, Todd dragged his shirt over his head and tossed it behind him, rolling his eyes playfully before dropping backward and mumbling about taking a nap before he was dealt in again.

You giggled at him, only for Karl to move his thigh, dragging you against him. You peered over your shoulder slightly, glaring at him as if to tell him to cut it out, but he just smirked at you, holding your hips as he bounced his leg. His lips pressed against your shoulder. “Either you get yourself off or I get you off,” he taunted, the friction making you moan quietly.

MY WHOLE EXISTENCE IS FLAWED / YOU GET ME CLOSER TO GOD

Karl turned the radio up, tucking his hands behind his head as you dug into his jacket pocket for his lighter. You had him between your thighs, his fingers dragging up your skirt as you took the joint from behind his ear and brought it to your lips, lighting it and inhaling. Something flashing behind Karl’s eyes as you cracked his window. He grabbed your face before you could exhale, making you shotgun the smoke into his mouth. You moaned at the feeling of the drug seeping into your mind as well as Karl feeding off of your high.

He exhaled before pulling you in for a hungry kiss, moaning against your lips and digging his fingers into your thighs. You pulled away from him, pushing him back against the seat and handing him the joint before unzipping his pants. You dug your teeth into his bottom lip as you sank down on his hardened arousal, moaning at the tightening feeling. He groaned, his hand groping your ass to urge you to ride him.

He pulled away from your kiss, resting the joint between his lips as he tucked his hands behind his head. Your hands pushed into his jacket, sliding beneath his shirt as you rolled your hips against his. You pulled your fingers into your hair, tugging at the strands as one of his hands moved to brush below the hem of your shirt, moving to press his fingers into your back.

He watched you intently, teeth biting into his lower lip to keep himself quiet as you moaned. Euphoria spread across his face to mix with the cloud of smoke from the weed. You kissed him again, his tongue ring pressing into your mouth with a groan as you rode him harder, clawing at the friction and moaning at the feeling of his hands on your body.

YOU CAN HAVE MY ABSENCE OF FAITH / YOU CAN HAVE MY EVERYTHING

“What are you wearing?” Karl asked, voice low and tired from the day of traveling; static from the interference on the phone line giving his tone the feeling of an old recorded message. He’d left earlier in the week, leaving after spending the weekend with you to get back home for his brother’s birthday. He’d nearly kidnapped you from your studies to go with him, but with the impending exams, there was no way you could get away.

You plugged in your headphones, moving to lay on your back as you realized what he was up to. “I’m wearing socks,” you stated sarcastically, making him laugh on the other end of the call. You knew he’d be scrubbed of his alternative appearance while in his mother's house. Your mind wandered to how weird it felt to kiss him without his piercings.

He hummed. “Only socks?” He chippered, playful lust dripping from his words as he spoke. You pressed your fingers against your bottom lip, trying your hardest to remember what it felt like with his teeth biting into your skin.

“I’m wearing your shirt, too,” you added; moving your fingers to toy with the hem of the dark t-shirt. You hadn’t even thought twice when you slipped it on earlier. Only now did you realize how nearly pathetic it was after he’d been trapped in your bed hours prior.

He chuckled darkly. “Oh, yeah? You miss me at all?” He chided, making you chew the inside of your cheek. “Come on, tell me how much you miss me, baby.”

You were silent for a moment, his raspy voice sending heat throughout your body. You tried to picture him buried in your hair as he spoke to you, his fingers brushing beneath your clothing in the dark. “I miss you,” you hummed. “It’s cold here alone.” You chewed your lip, you were never good at dirty talk. You could hear your roommate and her group of friends downstairs giggling as they turned on some music, the lyrics drifting through the air vents.

Karl tsked. “I think that’s a lie. I know it’s warm between your legs, dove,” he answered coolly, making your cheeks flush. “Fuck, I want you,” he groaned, your eyes fluttering at his low tone as goosebumps spread across your body.

“Keep talking,” you whispered, your fingers itching to dip beneath the waistband of your underwear.

You could tell he was biting back a smug groan at your quiet plea. “You want me to walk you through touching yourself?” He almost growled. “I wanna hear you cum for me.”

I DRINK THE HONEY / INSIDE YOUR HIVE / YOU ARE THE REASON / I STAY ALIVE

The two of you stumbled into Karl’s room, the sound of music from the party drowning out slightly as he kicked the door shut, pressing his lips against yours as you tugged off his clothes. The back of your legs hit his bed frame, the pair of you tangling together before you rolled on top of him. He pulled your shirt over your head, hands settling on your hips to urge you to grind against him.

The taste of the liquor on his lips sent your head reeling as his cologne and the smell of cigarettes clouded your already muddled senses. Your fingers raked down his tattooed chest, making him groan, his eyes looking up at you submissively.

Whenever Karl was drunk, he always bent to your whim. His dominant mind seemed to flip a switch and all he wanted was to make you feel good. He wanted to be used by you like he always used you.

Heat flushed to your cheeks from the alcohol; you’d beaten Todd in beer pong, again, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have to down a few shots to level the playing field. Your mouth pressed to his again, tugging his pants down his legs before sinking down on him as he moaned deeply.

As you rode him, he moved your hand from off his neck, taking your thumb into his mouth; the metal of his tongue ring swirling against your thumb as his teeth grazed your skin. You moaned at the sight, moving your hand to settle in his hair, tugging his head to the side as your teeth dug into his neck, marking him with your mouth.

He pulled your hips against his, driving himself into you deeper as he thrust against you, making you groan against his skin. You kissed him, driving your tongue into his mouth as you savored his moans of arousal at the feeling of you.

You moved to sit up again, letting the music set your pace as Karl titled his head back in pleasure, teeth tugging his lip ring into his mouth. You clenched around him, just because you knew you could draw him over the edge before you, but his eyes flickered with a willingness to hold out that licked at the fire of determination building your tension.

He sent you a lazy smirk before reaching a thumb between your thighs from where his hands were gripping onto your hips; toying at your nerves and making your vision blur with how good he was making you feel. “You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled, hips rolling against yours. You pressed your mouth to his again, basking in the taste of his words and the liquor that had melted against his tongue; ready the man between your legs to completely ruin you.

Tag List: (follow this link to be added :))

@mrwinemaker @madsbbg @idiotinnit @xxtakechancesxx @chxrrymilkshake @westyywifee @kiritokunuwu @theholycakehole @itgetsatadhazy @himbobimboeater @karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @twist3dtinkerbell @more-like-reyna @teenage0jealousy @deepestofwaters @honk-izzie-was-taken @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @instabull

Chances Are Masterlist

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Irresistible Danger - Part 51

Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 3,279

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Author’s Note: Holy crap, can y’all believe I dove back into writing this fic after almost two years with no updates?! I’m still shook over it haha. I will say that this fic has gone way off canon at this point (I haven’t watched the last few seasons of the show and also didn’t finish the last few issues of the comics). However, I’ve had a vision for certain characters and events for the last how many years, so I don’t plan to change them just to try and fit canon. I also now realize that while I tried to make “you” as nondescript as possible, there are physical traits and actions of her character that haven’t been as inclusive of all potential readers as I had thought when first starting the fic 5 years ago. I apologize for that, and plan to be more aware of those things with any reader characters I write in future fics. My plan is to post a chapter update every Friday from here on out, until it’s over, so fingers crossed I can accomplish that. Enjoy! :D

Cloud Nine

You surfaced from the depths of sleep slowly, rather than the more abrupt jolt to consciousness that usually started off your days. Feeling cozy and relaxed, a slight smile tipped your lips in contentment. It didn’t take long to realize that the reason for your positive mood was the large, warm body with which you were currently sharing the tiny, twin-sized bed.

Eyes blinking open, you took in the delightful sight of masculine bare skin. You were curled up against Negan’s side, cheek cushioned on his chest and both legs were wrapped around his nearest thigh. The bedsheet was pulled up over your back and ended teasingly right above his hips. One of your hands lay palm-down on his stomach, fingers twitching slightly in delight at the feel of the hard muscles beneath the soft skin. You could tell from the curve of his body that he was sitting with his back reclined against the rickety headboard. You might’ve found his positioning odd, but you were still a little hazy from sleep and so could only feel happiness at not waking up to an empty bed, like last time. 

You were on cloud nine after talking things out with him last night. Being able to work through a conflict together had been major progress, and you had been proud of yourself for laying down your boundaries regarding your here-to-stay friendship with Ben, as well as standing your ground regarding the situation with Trixie and the pregnancy test. It was important that Negan learn to trust you when it came to situations such as those, and it seemed as though that message had finally gotten through to him last night. 

The fact that he had even come to your room and taken the huge step of apologizing for his hasty reaction still had you a bit in shock. The evening had panned out much differently than your original plan of going to bed angry. Instead, you had gone to bed very satisfied, and then woken up next to the man who was very quickly becoming essential to your daily happiness.

He must’ve felt you shift against him, one hand coming down to rub your bare shoulder as he gave a soft, “Mornin’, doll.” 

His raspy morning voice sent tingles down your spine, even as your brain fought to stay awake. It still felt way too early to be sitting up and conversing, so instead of returning the greeting, you buried closer into his side and grumbled, “What time is it?” The words were muffled against his skin, nose pressed into his chest hair as you inhaled the glorious male scent of him. 

You felt him lean over towards the side table. He must’ve been checking your watch, because he replied, “‘Bout 6:50.”

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Language.” 

“Hmph. Do you always get up so early?”

“It’s more productive than sleeping half the day away and being late to everything.” 

That got more of a response, as you finally lifted your head to glare up at him for the jab. However, he didn’t notice, as he was too focused on the book held in front of him. It was then that you realized why he was sitting up in bed, a smirk crossing your face at the novel he had open and was intensely reading. You felt a spark of desire low in your belly, the sight of a sleep-tousled and naked Negan lounging in your bed while reading Harry Potter an unexpected, but welcomed, aphrodisiac.

“Thought you didn’t read ‘fucking kid books’?” you sarcastically asked, quoting back his initial description of the series. 

You received only a low grunt in response, his eyes not leaving the page. You weren’t offended, since you’d probably react the same way to someone trying to interrupt a reading of Harry Potter. In fact, you were a bit jealous that he got to experience the magical world for the first time. His curiosity must’ve gotten the better of him when he saw it lying on your bedside table, and it appeared as if he had already read a small chunk of it. 

He didn’t seem to notice you staring, his attention still focused on the book. In fact, he held the page a scant few inches from his face, eyes squinted into slits. The sight was a tad humorous, though you wondered how long he had been struggling to see the words. 

“I thought you needed glasses to read?” you asked. 

“Fuck, you always so full of questions this early in the morning, doll?”

You pinched his side hard enough to make him jump and growl out another expletive, before giving him a saccharine smile and lifting a brow expectantly when he glared down at you.

Attention finally taken off the book, he reached over and plopped it down on the side table before rubbing his eyes with both palms. “I do. Felt like it took me a fucking hour to get through that last page.”

The fact that he had continued trying to read and hadn’t easily given up, despite his struggle to see the words, told you more than anything how much he must’ve been enjoying the novel. A warm thrill settled in your chest at the thought of him taking an interest in something he usually wouldn't bother with simply because you enjoyed it. 

The warm thrill morphed into more of a low heat and traveled down your body as your gaze refocused on his bare skin. Moving the hand on his stomach upward over his chest, your fingertips traced the outline of the tattoo on his left pec.

“What prompted you to get this?” you asked, curious if there was a meaning behind the skull and criss-crossed rifles.

Giving a low chuckle, he replied, “Youth and stupidity.” 

Giving a huffed laugh in return, you trailed curious fingers over to the other tattoos on his arms, inquiring about each one as you went. Some had a story behind them, others not so much (you had tried not to roll your eyes when he explained that the revolver on his right forearm was the same one he had handled once and thought was ‘fucking cool as shit’). He also had a few scars on his upper body, some from before the apocalypse but most from after. You listened intently as he opened up about each one, drinking in as much personal information about the man beside you as possible.

Not wanting to stop the exploration just yet, you pushed up on your other elbow and journeyed over his throat, tracing his Adam’s apple before running your fingers delicately through the surprisingly soft beard framing his gorgeous mouth. 

Capturing the questing hand in his own, he brought your fingers to his lips. The breath caught in your chest when he kissed the mostly-healed scar from the knife injury you had acquired a few weeks prior. Heart beating frantically at the gentle gesture, you smiled up at him when he released your hand and allowed it to resume exploring.

“So,” you tried for calm and casual, fingers moving up to lightly trace his ear before diving into his thick hair and mapping the streaks of salt within the pepper. “What are your plans for today?”

It took him a few seconds to answer, his eyes having fluttered closed as your nails gently massaged his scalp. You smiled at his obvious enjoyment of your touch, at how he had lowered his walls in this moment and was allowing himself to be both physically and emotionally vulnerable. 

“I wish they were to stay here and enjoy this fucking delightful body of yours all day, but I have a meeting with my Saviors at eight.” 

The thought of spending an entire day frolicking in bed with Negan caused a dreamy sigh to leave your lips. His eyes opened and zeroed in on your mouth at the sound, that magical tongue of his coming out to lick his bottom lip as he added, “Though, that’s still about an hour away…”

At that, he quickly rolled over so his lean body was pinning you into the mattress, his lips cutting off your squeal of surprise before it even left your throat. The hand still in his hair tightened, causing him to give a low groan and grind his hips down into yours. You tried to make a mental note of his reaction to the touch, but seeing as how there were no barriers keeping his quickly-hardening erection from pressing into your thigh, all higher levels of brain function quickly flew out of the room. 

Bracing above you, he leaned down and started kissing your neck, a move guaranteed to make you melt. When his mouth descended over the curve of your breasts, you tried to lift your head to watch his downward progress but a sharp pang of discomfort at your scalp made you wince and try to jerk away, which only succeeded in making the pain even worse. 

“Ow, wait!” you blurted, causing Negan to instantly freeze and look up at you in alarm. 

“Doll, what-”

“You’re on my hair! Move your hand!”

Quickly realizing his mistake, Negan moved the hand that had accidentally been pinning a large chunk of your hair, and by proxy your head, to the mattress. 

“Fucking hell, I’m sorry, doll,” he cursed, making as if to lift his body off you entirely. 

Now wanting his faux pas to ruin the moment, you pushed his shoulders sideways and hooked a leg up over his hip before commanding, “Roll over.”

He hesitated for a moment before relenting, the two of you somehow able to switch places on the narrow, twin-sized bed without falling off. Once the semi-awkward resituating was done, he was on his back and you were straddling his hips. The move caused the sheet to fall off, exposing your entire body to his gaze. Based on the way his eyes grew hazy with lust as they took in your bared curves, not to mention his obvious erection, it was safe to say that he didn’t mind this change in position one bit. 

Warm, calloused palms drifted up over your thighs, hips, and the sides of your waist, before cupping breasts that were begging for his touch. Leaning down, your already-hardened nipples pressed into his palms as you kissed him hungrily. Shifting your hips, you started rubbing forwards and backwards over the erection pressed between both your lower stomachs. You moaned into each other’s mouths at the sensation, pussy lips parting around his girth so that your wetness coated his cock, the fat head bumping against your clit with each slide. 

“I think I like being in charge,” you purred. 

Giving a dark chuckle that sent shivers down your spine, he replied, “Enjoy it while it fucking lasts.”

Planning to do just that, you reached over to pluck a condom off the side table, incredibly grateful to whatever deity helped you successfully open the foil packet and smoothly roll the latex down over him on the first try. Tossing the empty packet over the side of the bed, you wrapped slightly trembling fingers around his swollen cock and lifted your hips, lining him up with your entrance. Maintaining eye contact, you slowly slid down his length, mouth falling open on a whimper at the feel of him parting overly-sensitive flesh that was still a bit sore from the activities of the previous night. Despite Negan’s initial threat over you stealing both coconut oil from the kitchen and condoms from his room, his only “punishment” last night had been fucking you relentlessly into the mattress until you had multiple orgasms and could barely even remember your own name.

In spite of the slight burn as sore muscles again stretched around his thickness, you didn’t stop until he was fully seated inside. His cock felt so big in this position that it was almost overwhelming, but you sat up so that your hands were braced on his chest and used your thigh muscles to start a slow up and down rhythm. 

His fingers reached up and pinched your nipples, causing you to clench around him. He groaned at the sensation, gaze becoming more intense when you slightly picked up the pace. It felt magnificent, but at the same time you craved more of the hard, rough friction that he had given you the night before. Body trying to find that friction on its own, your hips swiveled in a circle as you sank back down, which must’ve felt just as amazing for him as it did you, since he gave a strangled moan at the same moment his hands immobilized your hips in a bruising grip. 

“Alright, doll. My turn.”

That was the only warning you got before he braced his feet against the mattress and moved up in you, hard. Falling forward onto your palms with a gasp, fingers curled into the bedsheet and hips writhed in pleasure when he repeated the move. He continued the sharp, deep thrusts, watching your face closely before wrapping a hand around the back of your neck and pulling your mouth down to his own. His tongue thrust into your mouth possessively, as if trying to claim as much of you at once as he could. The pace was brutal yet unhurried, each thrust feeling like a deliberate attack on your sanity as his movements drew fire over your skin and consumed you, body and soul. 

Pressing down into him while leaning forward caused your clit to grind against his lower abdomen in the perfect way with each thrust, building up the orgasm that had previously hovered just out of reach. Breaking the kiss with a cry, you saw the expression of intense concentration on his face as he continued to move your bodies together in perfect rhythm. Breasts pressed into his chest and mouth panting at his ear, your body gave into his, letting him drive you up and over the edge, into the abyss of pleasure. 

“Negan,” you moaned, muscles tightening then releasing as the orgasm washed through you. His answering grunt and curse signaled his own release, though he continued his driving rhythm through it all, wringing each drop of pleasure from your body until it collapsed limply on top of his.

Resting your head on his shoulder, you again traced over the tattoo on his chest, waiting for your heartbeat and breathing to slow back down to normal. Glancing up his body, you found him already looking back down at you, a relaxed and satisfied grin on his lips that was only witnessed behind closed doors, when the two of you were alone. His hand idly stroked over a piece of hair laying on your shoulder, the gesture making you think back to earlier when he had accidentally pinned you to the mattress, and the resulting ungraceful maneuvering to switch positions in a bed that was entirely too small for two adult bodies. A light laugh escaped you that caused Negan to raise an eyebrow in question. 

“Just remembering your super smooth move from earlier,” you teased. You wouldn’t admit this out loud, but it was actually a bit of a relief to know that even Mr. Harem-of-Wives, Sex-God Negan wasn’t always flawless in the sack. 

“Making fun of me, doll?” he growled. 

“Maybe.”

Whack. The loud crack, accompanied by the slight sting of sensation against your left asscheek, caused you to jump and look at him in wide-eyed shock. 

“Did you just spank me?!” you exclaimed.

“Maybe.”

Before you could form an appropriate reply, he silenced any retort with his lips. Shallow creature that you apparently were, the move worked, and when he pulled away a long minute later, your brain conveniently forgot why you were supposed to be coming up with a retort in the first place. 

Negan glanced over at the side table, where your watch sat. Also looking over, you saw that it was now almost 7:30am, which meant he had half an hour to go back to his room and become presentable for his 8am Savior meeting. You were curious what the meeting was about, but didn’t want to ruin the perfection of the morning by bringing up a potentially serious topic. 

“Much as I hate to say it, doll, duty fucking calls.”

Your expression must’ve showcased more than you thought, since he gave a chuckle and said, “How about I make it up to you by finishing our fucking chess bet?”

Interest instantly piqued, you sat up on his chest and replied, “The third outing?! Can we go today?”

He looked at you consideringly, before giving a slight nod and agreeing. “We fucking could, but I won’t be free until the dinner hour.” 

Much as you didn’t want to skip out on your duties, even if it was with the leader of the establishment, you also weren’t about to turn down more alone time with Negan, especially outside of the Sanctuary. 

“I could meet you at the front gate at 5?” you suggested. That would give you just enough time to make sure dinner was fully prepped and almost ready to serve, since the community ate their meal from 5 to 7pm. It lessened the guilt, since you wouldn’t be completely leaving Ben and the staff short-handed. 

“Works for me, doll,” he said, gently rolling you off his body and to the narrow strip of mattress free beside him.

Biting your lower lip to keep from gasping at the empty sensation when he pulled out his now-flaccid dick, you watched him rise slowly from the bed. You took possessive pleasure in viewing his naked body, thighs clenching at the sight of him stretching muscular arms up towards the ceiling with his head tipped back. The pop of his back and resulting grunt made you comment, “I think from now on we might be better off in your bed. I have no clue how we even managed to fit in mine all night.” 

“Thank fucking god. If I have to spend any more nights in that fucking thing, I’ll be stiffer than a cock in a brothel.” 

Rolling your eyes at his that’s-so-Negan one-liner, you pulled the sheet up over your chest and settled in to watch him get dressed. You felt a bit like a voyeur when he removed the condom, tied off the end, and tossed it into the little garbage can. You felt a lot like a voyeur when he leaned down to pick up his boxer briefs and the sight of his bent-over ass almost made you whimper out loud. 

“You sure you can’t skip the meeting and stay here?” The words left your lips before your brain could even stop them. 

Turning to look at you, the desire must have been written all over your face because that muscle in his jaw ticked and he ran a hand down over his beard in obvious frustration. You swore he started to take a step back towards the bed, but he caught himself and instead returned to the task of getting dressed. 

When he was done putting on the navy tee and dark grey pants, complete with his signature black boots, he did finally come back over to the bed. Leaning down, he cupped a warm hand possessively around the side of your neck and placed a heated kiss on your lips before slightly pulling back and saying in that sinful, husky voice, “5 o’clock, doll. You better be ready for me.” 

With that, he straightened, crossed the room, and let himself out. As the door clicked softly shut behind him, you replied with a dazed, “Yes, sir.”

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

[sugarbutterbailey]

Night Out (Spencer Reid x Reader)

summary: bau!reader and team goes out for drinks after a long case. spencer gets jealous and smut ensues.

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kidnapping (only a sentence)

word count: 1.8k

a/n: hey! so this is my first fic on tumblr. i hope you like it. sorry if it’s bad lol. i don’t know how to put the ‘read more’ thing on my fic either so pls help. also if you know me, no you don’t.

you had just finished up a three day case in orlando, florida. everyone walked into the building together and disbursed into their separate offices or desks. you walked to your desk and put your go bag on the floor before sitting in your chair. you sat back and took a minute to breathe and reflect on the case. a man kidnapped and killed four women and left them posed at playgrounds around the city. it was awful and you really needed a night out after this one.

morgan walked over to you and put a hand on your shoulder. “hey, who wants to go out and get some drinks.”

“yeah, definitely.” emily said immediately.

“i’m down, just let me go home and change first.” you said.

with a little convincing, the rest of the team agreed to go our. they settled on going to morgan’s favorite club in an hour and a half. that you then all time to go home and get ready.

you drive home and took a quick shower. you dried your y/h/c hair and put in a purple dress that reaches mid thigh. you quickly curled your hair and added some natural make up. finally you texted spencer that you were ready.

you and spencer weren’t together. you had more of an unofficial thing going on. you acted like a couple all the time and the team betting on when you would get together.

a few minutes later, spencer knocked one you front door. you opened it and was met with spencer’s warm brown eyes. spencer smiles and pulled you into a deep kiss. you smiled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. you broke the kiss and closed the door behind you.

“let’s go. they’re waiting for us.” you told the man, smiling at him.

spencer took you hand in his and you made you way to the car. about halfway through the drive, spencer places his hand on your exposed thigh. your breath hitched and you could tell it didn’t go unnoticed buy him. spencer inched his way up your thigh. his fingers going painstakingly slow. you tried not to snow your emotions and it was working until spencer reaches your covered center. he rubbed your core agonizingly slow.

you gasped as you felt him slip a finger into you. you looked over a spencer and he had a smile on his lips, he suddenly started pumping his finger in and out of your core. you tried to holding your moans in but they slipped out. spencer slid his finger out of you and you whined at the loss of contact.

“hey baby, calm down. we’re here.” spencer said to you, putting his finger in his mouth as he rid the digit of your juices.

you open the car door and got out. you walked into the club in front of spencer and made a beeline towards the girls. penelope smiled at you and pushed martini your way.

“i really needed this.” you said to your friends. you all were a couple drinks in now.

“me too.” jj said, taking a sip of her drink.

you and emily has had the most devils and everyone noticed.

“let’s go dance!” emily exclaimed, dragging you on the dance floor.

you could vaguely hear penelope say that she would watch your drink. you started dancing to whatever song was currently playing with emily.

soon it was you, emily and derek dancing in the edge of the dance floor. this gave spencer a clear view of you. suddenly the music changed to something more sensual. spencer watched as derek took you by the hand and pulled you into him. the two of you grinding into each other.

spencers gaze was locked onto you and derek in a death stare. if looks could kill, morgan would be six feet under. hotch noticed spencer staring at you and questioned him about it.

“watch it reid, morgan’s gonna burst into flames.”

spencer snapped out of it and tuned to his boss with an embarrassed look on his face. “w-what are you talking about?”

“i can tell you like y/n based on how you’re staring at her.” hotch said to spencer, drinking his beer.

“go get her reid before she goes home with morgan.” rossi said, pointing over at the two dancing fbi agents.

spencer downed the rest of his drink and made his way over to you. he tapped on your shoulder. you stopped dancing with derek and turned your attention to spencer.

“mind if i cut in?” he asked confidently.

you stepped closer to spencer and put your arms around his neck. “yeah, go ahead.” you tell him.

spencer leaned into close to your ear, his warm breath making you feel shivers down your spine. “i think it’s time to go.” he whispered into your ear.”

you closed your eyes for a second and nodded subtly. spencer took your hand and led you out of the club, the man quickly waving good bye to his friends . you made it to his car and you both got in. the ride to his apartment was silent. you waited anxiously as you watched him drive. your gaze fell slightly to his hands and you let your mind wander. you could only imagine what’s his hands could do to you. you wanted them everywhere. you snapped out of it when you arrived at spencer’s.

as soon as you walked in the apartment, spencer shut the door and pushed you against it. he pressed his lips to yours hungrily as he pinned your wrists to the door. you kissed back, deepening the kiss. you wriggled your wrists, struggling against spencer.

he finally let go of your wrists and you immediately reached up to run your fingers through his hair. spencer ran his hands along the small of your back all the way down until he reached your ass. he squeezed lightly, but enough for you to gasp. spencer took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. your tongues fought for dominance until he finally won. the man tapped the backs of your thighs as a way of telling you to jump. you did as he wanted and you jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist.

pulling away from the kiss, you leaned your head on spencer’s as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down on the bed and you both kicked off your shoes. you reconnected your lips with spencer’s. your arms made their way around his neck as his moved up and down your back. they reached the top of your dress. spencer unzipped and took it off, throwing it on the floor. you hastily undid the buttons on spencer’s maroon colored shirt and you pulled it off of him.

he pushed you back onto the bed and brought your lips to his once more. he bit your bottom lip slightly and you gasped, moaning as you felt his tongue dominate yours. spencer’s hands started kneading your breasts over your bra. you run your hands down his chest, stopping when you get to his pants. you wanted him more than you ever had.

you started to undo his belt when you felt his lips leave yours and start to leave a trail of kisses down your neck. your movements faltered as the man roughly bit down in your neck, sucking intensely. you moaned, your head falling back. you knew he would leave a mark you’d have to hide later.

you brought your focus back onto spencer and finished unbuckling his belt. he undid he pants and let them fall the the ground, stepping out of them. this left both of you in your underwear. you broke apart for air and looked at him. spencer trailed his hands upwards, leaving your waist. his touch was everything you’ve ever wanted. his hands found their way to your back, touching your bra.

spencer’s eyes flicked down to your breasts. “can i.” he asked.

you nodded and spencer skillfully took off your bra. he look led down at your breasts and he took them i to his hands. he ran his fingers over your left nipple, squeezing it gently. you gasp as you felt his mouth latch onto you other breast. the way his tongue swirled around your nipple was something you hadn’t experienced in a long time.

of course you had had sex before but it was different with spencer. he did things other men wouldn’t and you loved that about him.

spencer moved on from your breasts and kissed his way down your stomach, stopping just before your clit. he hooked his fingers onto your lacy panties and pulled them down i one swift move. he kissed down your thighs and you whined, wanting him to stop teasing you.

after what felt like an eternity, spenders mouth found its way to your clit. his tongue ran the length of your slit. you moaned loudly, and shivered from the warmth of his breath.

“be quiet princess, you don’t want the neighbors to hear you.” spencer said, his hot breath tickling your clit.

you nodded and tried to hide your moan when spencer’s tongue moved between your folds. spencer groaned against your core, the vibrations making you shake. his tongue darted in and out of you. you gripped the sheets tight as your walls tighten. spencer quickened his pace until he felt you reach your orgasm.

spencer stood up and look at you on his bed. your hair stuck to your forehead and breath jagged. he thought you were beautiful.

you felt like you were on cloud nine. you wanted more of spencer reid. he made you feel better than any other man.

spencer took off his boxers. he moved so that he was on top of you. he brought his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss. you ran your fingers through his hair.

“are you ready?” he whispered into your ear.

“yes.” you breathed out, ready for him to fuck you.

spencer placed himself at your entrance. he slid into you, filling you body with pain and pleasure.

“fuck spencer.” you moaned, reaching up to pull his hair.

spencer quickened his pace, thrusting in and out of you. your hands moved from his hair to his back. your hips bucked up against him. his thrusts became frenzied.

“spence, baby, i’m gonna cum.” you gasped, your nails scraping his back.

“cum for me baby. good girl.”

spencer could feel your walls clench around him. you felt pure ecstasy. he thrusted into you a few more times before he came into you. he moved from inside you and laid next to you.

he peppered your face with small kisses. you buried your face into his neck, cuddling in close.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Eighty-Nine

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

You floated through the halls at work the next day. No, not because of the wonderful 3AM sex you had with Harry last night. It was because this Saturday would be one year since your first date, the date that the two of you were choosing to be your anniversary, instead of when you made things official in October.

“What do you two have planned this weekend?” Niall asks you at lunch. Buster was with Harry today.

“We’re going to a spa for massages and to get our nails done.” You swoon. “And I think we’re going to the tapas place.”

“That’ll be great!”

“I still can’t believe it’s been almost a year since you convinced me to go out with a complete stranger.”

“I know! I spent so much time talkin’ him up to yeh, and you never showed any interest. No choice but to be blunt.”

//

“Alright, you talk about this girl all the time. You’ve talked about her for almost two bloody years! Ask her the fuck out already!” Harry slurs over drinks with Niall at their favorite bar.

“S’not like that, mate. Don’t want her in that way. She’s just my good friend…although…I think maybe she’d fancy you.”

“Lots of girls fancy me.” He smirks.

“You’re annoyin’.” Harry bursts out laughing.

“Okay, okay…why do you think she’d fancy me?”

“I don’t know exactly, you just seem like her type.” He shrugs. “I can’t really explain it, Harr, I could just see it.”

“Will yeh finally show me a picture of her? I’m not doin’ another blind date.”

“Alright, fine, why not?” Niall took his phone out to show Harry some pictures of you. “Here’s a selfie we took when we went out to the beach a week or so ago.” Niall handed Harry his phone.

Harry’s eyes popped out of his head. You were smiling big, and you could really see your freckles. Your arm was around Niall’s shoulders and you could just see the cleavage from your bathing suit top.

“Holy shit…” Harry looks back up at Niall. “And you’ve seriously never hooked up with her?”

“Nope. She’s literally just my friend.”

“Her smile is…beautiful.” He looks back down at the photo and smiles. “Do you have one of just her?”

“Let me look on her Facebook.” Niall takes his phone back. “Oh! Here’s one from our company party a few months ago.” He hands him back his phone.

You were wearing a strapless blue dress with your hair in a nice bun. Yup, he thought you were breathtaking.

“Tell me again, why have you never brought her around?”

“She’s been at my holiday party the last two years…you just never noticed.”

“Or you just never introduced us.”

“You still just sort of hook up with girls, I didn’t wanna bring up you two meeting until I knew you were sort of over that…you seem like you are, so…” He takes a sip of his drink. “I’m sort of protective of her too…”

“I get it, I know I can be an asshole.” He smirks. “I swear I’m over all that…” He scrolls past some other photos. “When was this?”

“Oh! Her best friend got married, she didn’t wanna go stag, so she asked me to go with her. It was a lot of fun.”

“She’s so…pretty.”

“Yeah. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she has a nice personality too. She’s really smart, funny, all things you’d want…she’s an incredible friend. She’d drop anything to help, and half the time you don’t even have to ask.”

“Alright, can I have her number?” Harry starts to scroll through Niall’s contacts, but Niall snatches his phone back.

“I can’t just give some random dude her number.”

“But I’m not just some random dude.”

“To me…but to her…look, I haven’t even talked about you to her…let me see if she’d be into it, okay?”

“Sure, but I’m gonna keep buggin’ yeh until you make it happen.” He smirks.

****

You and Niall were hanging out at his place, getting ready to watch Bachelor in Paradise. He hands you a bowl of popcorn, and you snuggle up next to him.

“So, who do you think is going to hook up tonight, I think-“

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you went on a real date?” Your face falls. That was sort of a loaded question. “Was it…Jake?”

“I’ve been out a few times, but obviously no second dates. Why?” Your eyes grow wide and you inch away from him. “Wait, you’re not like asking me out are you?”

“What?! No!” He laughs. “Not that, that would be funny, I bet you’re super fun to date.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just mean, we’re friends, and I like being just friends.”

“Me too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Anyways, have I ever mentioned my mate Harry to you?”

“Maybe a few times. I know you hung out with him over the weekend.”

“Yeah! We had drinks for the first time in a while.”

“Cool.”

“So…he’s a really great guy. I think you’d like him. He’s single, and so are you-“

“No.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“I don’t wanna do a blind date. My parents met on a blind date, and look at how well that worked out.” Niall can’t help but laugh.

“Harry is nothin’ like your dad. He’s really nice, a true sweetheart.”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, he said he’d go out with you.”

“He did?!”

“I talk about you enough.” He blushes. “He said he was interested.”

“I’ll have to think about it…is that okay?”

“Sure.” He shrugs and throws an arm around you.

***

Over the next several weeks, Niall kept dropping hints that Harry wanted to meet you. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he hadn’t even met you yet. He really wanted to get to know the beautiful girl that was in his friend’s life.

“Niall,” You sigh. “Why are you bringing up Harry all of a sudden? I mean, I’ve known you for almost two years.”

“Well, after your last break up, I honestly didn’t think you’d ever want to look at another man.” He shyly told you in the break room one day.

“Will you at least show me a picture of him?”

“Nope, want this to be a true blind date.”

“You’re annoying.”

“I’ll set everything up for the both of ya, and if it goes well then you can both take it from there.”

“That’s if I even agree.”

***

“Ask her if she’s free this Saturday.” Harry says to Niall on Tuesday night as they play video games. “I feel like she’s gettin’ closer to sayin’ yes.”

“What exactly do you want to do with her?”

“I’d just like to take her to a nice dinner.” He shrugs. “Think she’d like that?”

“She’d love it!”

“Figured that would be a chill way to meet, you know?”

“Yeah, takes a little of the pressure off.”

“I’ll ask her at work tomorrow.”

***

“What are you doing this Saturday night?” He asked you Wednesday morning, handing you a coffee. You each took turns buying coffee for the other. Today was his turn.

“Um, I think I was just going to binge watch something on Netflix. Why?”

“Harry was wondering if you’d be interested in dinner.”

“Oh he was?” You raise an eyebrow, and take a sip of your coffee.

“Yes, well I nudged him a little, but I’ve told him a lot about you and he’s very interested.” You blush at the thought.

“Well, I’m definitely free for dinner. Where was he thinking?”

//

“Well, obviously I’m glad I agreed.” You giggle.

“Didja get him anythin’ or is the spa day part if it?”

“It’s our gift to each other. He’s spent so much on me for my birthday, so I told him I didn’t want anything else. Was he always like that? So extravagant?”

“Not really.” Niall tries to think about it. “I mean, he loves surprisin’ people…and he really likes makin’ people smile. Never seen him do it all for a girlfriend before.” Niall takes a sip of his water. “Y/N, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to put a smile on your face. I feel like I’ve been sayin’ this from the beginning, but I’ve never seen him like this before. You’ve really changed his entire life, all for the better.”

“He’s changed mine too. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be this happy.”

//

Saturday morning you woke up far too excited for the day ahead, but you couldn’t help it. This was the longest relationship you had ever been in. An entire year with the perfect guy. You look at him, he looks so peaceful while he sleeps. You shift to straddle him and you kiss him all over his face. He smiles without opening his eyes. His hands move up to grip your hips.

“Good morning.” You coo.

“Mornin’, angel.”

“Wanna see the video I made you? Well, for us, but it’s mostly for you.”

“I’d love to.” His eyes flutter open.

“If you’re still too tired we can wait…”

“Nope, wanna see it now.”

He sits up and you grab your phone. He throws his arm around you and you pull the video up.

“I haven’t posted this anywhere yet, it’s just for the two of us…”

“Alright.” He kisses your temple.

You hit play, and You’ve Made Me So Very Happy by Blood Sweat & Tears starts playing in the background. Harry tries to play it cool, but he was internally screaming. You pause it quick.

“I feel like this is sort of our song…we listened to it on the way up to get Buster. We both really liked it…”

“It’s great, it’s, uh, definitely our song.” He smiles and taps play again.

Throughout the song there’s pictures and videos of the two of you over the last year. There were so many good memories. You both giggled at some of the things, especially the pictures from Halloween. When it ends, you look up at Harry whose eyes are glossy.

“That was…really somethin’.” He chuckles and wipes his eyes. “You’re really good at making those.” He cups your cheek. “Happy one year.”

“Happy one year.” You lean up and kiss him. “I couldn’t wait to show you, I’ve been putting it together for awhile. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Can we watch it again?”

“Mhm.” You beam at him as happy tears come to your eyes. “I’m gonna go make us a big breakfast. I got that vegan bacon we both like.” You kiss him quick and get out of bed.

You throw on one of his t-shirts, and a clean pair of his boxers, and head out to the kitchen. Buster yips at you, and you throw your sneakers on to take him out quick. Harry gets up and finds you in the kitchen making his favorite banana pancakes.

“You know, this day is for the both of us, not just me.” He chuckles.

“I know, but I wanted to do this for you, and we haven’t made this for breakfast in forever.” You flip a pancake over.

Harry grabs the pure maple syrup from the fridge and sets it on the counter. He looks you up down. He wasn’t sure what it was about you wearing his boxers that always turned him on so much. Maybe it was the way they sort of bunched up around the tops of your thighs so he could really see the curve of your ass. He opens the syrup bottle and dips his finger in to have a taste. He loved real maple syrup.

“Give me some.” You open your mouth and smirks as he puts more on his finger. You suck the syrup off. “Mm, that’s so good.”

“You know where I’d really like to put this?”

“All over your pancakes?” You put the last pancake on the plate and turn the burner off.

“No…well, yes eventually, but not right this second.”

“But they’ll get cold…”

Harry sighs and turns the ‘Keep Warm’ burner on, and sticks the plate on top of it, along with the bacon.

“Take your shirt off.”

“What?”

“Actually, that’s my shirt, so take it off.”

You swallow hard and take the shirt off, resting it on the island. Harry grins and grabs the bottle of syrup. Your nipples were already pebbled from the cool air in the room. He dips his finger back into the syrup and spreads it onto both of your nipples.

“Now I’m all sticky.” You pout playfully.

“Let’s see how we can fix that, hm?”

Harry lifts you up onto the island, and he stands between your legs. His lips wrap around one of your nipples and sucks on it. Your breath hitches as you hear him moan.

“Mm, so sweet.” He mumbles as he moves to the other one. He sucks it off with a pop and look at you. “Let’s make a mess.”

“What do you mean?” You giggle.

“I mean, I’m going to get this all over you and lay you down on the island, and then I’m gonna fuck you.”

“Oh.” You nod. “Alright then.”

You and Harry end up on the floor in the kitchen, naked, covered in sticky syrup, and giggling. You had brought the pancakes and bacon down to the floor with you.

“Mm, you did a great job with these.” Harry says, biting into the pancake.

“You certainly worked up quite the appetite.” You feed him a piece of bacon and he nips at the pad of your thumb.

“What time do we need to be at the spa?”

“At eleven, we’re getting massages first, and then our nails.” He hums his response.

“What time is it now?”

“Around nine.”

“Jesus, why did we get up so early?” He chuckles.

“Because we just couldn’t wait to love on each other.” You both giggle.

Buster comes over and you both have to sit up so he doesn’t lick at any extra syrup on either of you.

“This really was a good breakfast, thank you.” He gives you a bacon filled kiss, and stands up. He reaches his hand out and helps you up. “Come on, we need to shower before getting over there.”

“Oh, you didn’t want oil all mixed up with sticky syrup?” You ask sarcastically.

“Don’t think that’s the move.” He chuckles.

You both get into the shower, and wash each other up. You throw some leggings and a tank top on, and Harry gets dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt.

“Be a good boy Buster. Mummy and Daddy will be back later.” You say to him, and out the two of you go.

//

You and Harry check in to the spa and wait to be called in. You’re given robes and slippers. You get called in and you both are given a minute to undress.

“Shit…”

“What?”

“I really fucked up your back this morning.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry…you would think after all this time I would’ve learned to-“

“It’s fine, babe. I’m sure they’ve seen stuff like this before.”

You give him a reassuring smile and get under the blanket on the massage table. It was so relaxing, and something you both really needed. You had both talked about getting massages again pretty much right after you had gotten them the first time. When it’s done you both sit in a light room and wait to be called in for your pedicures.

“You enjoyed it?” He asks you.

“Mhm, it was wonderful.”

“I wanna give you a massage like that sometime.”

“Maybe I wanna give you one.”

“We could take turns.”

“Deal.” You lean on his shoulder.

“Would love to get you all oiled up like that, bur completely naked.”

“Oh, Harry.” You nudge him.

You get called in for your pedicures. You loved doing these things with him. It was so special and intimate. He held your hand the whole time, and you end up choosing the same color for your toes. It was a nice pastel pink that you both loved.

For your manicure, you go for a nice blue with a silver-glittery accent nail on your ring fingers. You made sure to get the shellac so it would last longer. Harry got a light yellow.

“Let’s make an appointment for you and your Nan for when she comes.” He says as you’re both paying.

“Oh, she’d like that. And two weeks from now would be a good time to get these redone, especially my toes.”

You make an appointment for the Friday evening she would be getting there. You figure after work it would be nice to get your nails done and go to dinner with her. Harry would be picking her up from the airport.

Harry knew how important it was to a lot of girls to make sure they had their nails done after they were engaged so when they posted pictures of the rings, everything would look nice. He didn’t know if you’d care that much, but he thought it would be nice for you to have fresh polish on for when it happens.

//

You pull your little black dress out that you wore on your first date after you’ve done your hair and makeup.

“Harry!”

He was out in the living room waiting for you. He looked so handsome. He had a blue silk shirt on with some tan slacks. He goes into the bedroom and he stops short.

“Need some help zipping this up.” You look over your shoulder at him smile.

He grins and comes in to zip it up. He lingers for a moment. He knew this dress all too well. You turn around to look at him and he wraps his arms around you.

“You look so beautiful.”

“Thanks, so do you.” You smile and kiss him.

“I fed Buster and took him out, so he should be good to go.”

“Alright, let’s hit it.”

You get to the tapas place and are seated after giving your reservation name. This time around you split some chickpea fries, cauliflower fritters, and a couple of other small items. You also each order a seltzer with a lime.

“A whole year.” You say as you clink your glass with his.

“Best year of my life, honestly.”

“Mine too.” He holds your hand across the table and squeezes it.

All of your food gets brought over, and you dig in. It’s delicious, you two really need to come here more often.

“Can I ask, what made you wanna bring me here for our first date?”

“I just thought it was a nice, yet chill place. Thought it would be a little more intimate sharin’ dishes. It would give us somethin’ to talk about in case things were…awkward at first.” He smirks.

“Could you imagine if we literally had nothing to talk about other than food?” You laugh. “So boring.”

“I’m very glad you had a personality.” He laughs too. “I remember I was excited to finally be meetin’ yeh. When Niall finally told me you said yes, I was thrilled. I needed to meet the pretty girl from the photos I was shown.”

“Ahh, so it was all about looks for you.” You smirk.

“And Niall told me about how great you were. Needed to see it for myself, really.”

The waiter brings over a small cake made for two people, and a single candle in it. You both blow it out at the same time.

“Mm, I love lemon.” You say as you bite into it.

“I know.” He smiles. “Think it’s one of the few sweets we agree on.”

//

“Would you kill me if I got you somethin’?” Harry asks as you drive home.

“Harry…”

“I just couldn’t help myself…I saw this perfume at the mall and thought you might like it.” He lists the center console and grabs a small box from it. “Here, see if you like it.”

“You always do this.” You smile. “And because I knew you would, I got you a little something too.” You open the box and give it a smell. “Oh! Apples.”

“It reminded me of your shampoo a bit.”

“Mm, definitely.” You lean across and kiss him on the cheek. “I love it, thank you.” You spritz some onto your wrists and rub them together. You reach into your purse and pull out a card. “You’ll want to make sure the car is parked.”

He nods and gets the both of you home. He turns the car off and taps the light so it’s bright enough for him to see. He takes the card from you. His jaw drops when two tickets slide out.

“How…when…are you serious?!” He was in complete and udder shock.

“You’ll need to close the studio for the time you’re away. And before you say anything, I’m not the one going with you.”

“Who else would I go see the Packers with?”

“Louis.”

“What?”

“I spoke with him about all this, he thinks it would be great for the two of you.”

“I can’t believe you got me tickets to see a real Packers game! I mean, I’ve only been able to see them on TV….” He smiles and then furrows his brows at you. “This is way more expensive than-“

“And I got you a plane ticket already. You’ll need to pack extra warm. That game is at the beginning of November, and it’ll be even colder in Wisconsin.”

“Y/N.”

“You got me practically front row seats to see one of my favorite artists for my birthday, and then proceeded to buy my grandmother a round-trip ticket for her to come up here. The game tickets themselves weren’t that expensive, especially since I got them so early. And I got a pretty decent fare for the flight.”

“But…this isn’t something we can even do together, I mean-“

“Harry.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Happy anniversary.”

“Thank you.”

He opens up the glove compartment and sticks the card inside for safe keeping.

“I can’t believe…I mean…this is one of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for me.” He smiles.

“I’d do anything to see that smile on your face.”

You both get out of the car, and head upstairs. Buster yips at the two of you.

“I know, we weren’t home a lot today, baby, I’m sorry.”

You both rub his belly before sending him off to his bed. Harry gets his hands on you and unzips your dress. You giggle as it falls to the floor. You unbutton the few buttons he actually used on the shirt and push it off his shoulders.

He cups your cheeks and kisses you. He swipes his tongue over your bottom lip, and you open up for him. He needed to taste you. Your tongue molds to his. You undo his pants and he steps out of them. He walks you back to the bed and you both fall onto it.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you.” He says against your lips and you smile.

“You fucked me twice this morning.”

“Wasn’t enough.”

He kisses on your neck and dips his hand inside your panties. He runs his fingers up and down your slit to get you wet. You reach behind yourself to unhook your bra. He tugs it away for you. He leaves wet kisses between your two breasts.

“Paying a lot of attention to the girls today.” You giggle.

“The girls?” He laughs.

“The girls, the twins…a lot of people refer to their boobs like that.”

“Well, that’s just what I’ll call ‘em from now on. I can come home from work and ask how my girls are.”

He starts kneading both of them and you moan softly. He tweaks your nipple piercings and you let out a louder groan. He tugs your panties all the way off you and opens your legs up. Two of his fingers slip inside while he sucks on your clit. Your head rolls back against the pillow as your hips buck up towards him. He was knuckles deep and making the come here motion over and over.

“Just like that babe, so good.” You moan.

He sucks on your clit harder while he pumps in and out of you. You grip his hair causing him to groan against against you. Your legs start shaking and he uses his other hand to keep them open. You release on his fingers, and he sucks them into his mouth after he retracts them.

“Wanna ride you.”

“Yeah? Wanna bounce up and down on my dick?”

“So bad.”

He sits up against the headboard and you straddle him. You line yourself up and sink down on him. His hands slide down to the globes of your ass and he starts to move you on him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and sink your nails into his skin. Your mouth finds his and his tongue slips into your mouth. You both had a great rhythm going. He loved when you would almost lift all the way off and slam back down on him while he thrusts up into you. He nips at your jaw, then to your neck, sucking where he pleases. One of your hand slides to his neck, and you wrap it around his throat lightly. He groans as you apply a little pressure.

You use your other hand to rub your clit as he continues to thrust up into you. You both were very close. His thrusts were getting sloppier. As your release comes you loosen your grip on his throat, and hide your face in the crook of his neck. Your teeth sink into his skin as he takes full control.

I can’t wait to have this for the rest of my life. He thinks to himself. That thought alone was enough to have his come shooting up inside you. You groan as you feel him fill you up. He rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breaths. He cups your cheek with one his hands and kisses you.

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Harry. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

You hug for a few minutes and then you get off of him. You both go through your nightly routines.

“Harry…”

“Yeah?”

“What if Buster slept with us tonight? Just for tonight…we were barely with him all day, and-“

“Buster!” Harry calls for him and he comes trotting into the bedroom. “Wanna sleep with mummy and daddy tonight? Haven’t loved yeh enough today, have we?” He yips and jumps up on the bed.

You giggle and get into bed with Harry. Buster lays at the both of your feet and Harry throws an arm around you. You loved your life so much. You had no idea so much could change in a year, and you were incredibly grateful. This was the first relationship you ever had like this. Not only had you never lived with a guy before, but you had never been in a relationship this long. You were with the person you were supposed to be with, and you couldn’t happier. You wondered what the next year with Harry would hold.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, miss-shiva-adler!

For @miss-shiva-adler. Darling! This is my way of wishing you a Merry Christmas! I am equally happy and disappointed because this story was not what I had in mind for you, but no matter how much I tried to write the one I wanted, I just couldn't. On the other hand... I'd like to believe I brought my A game out with this story. I'd also like to apologize in advance if this isn't your cup of tea after all. I genuinely feel like I was testing limits here and bending rules there and all I can hope at this stage is that I didn't end up crossing the line I've been tiptoeing in the next 7,000 (or so) words. Once again, I wish you Merry Christmas!

Hello people! First of all, thank you for even considering giving this story a chance! <3 I would like to warn everyone, that this fic is DARK. The tags are not there for the crack, please don't take them lightly. Also, I’m not sure how this happened. This is not how this was supposed to go, in all honesty.. I have no idea what just happened. But it did. All in all, this fic is bloody brilliant in my humble opinion, so if the tags and my warning was still not enough to scare you away... then be my guest!

Read On AO3

*****

The Last of Us

”If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”

- Orson Welles, The Big Brass Ring

He stood rooted to the spot, eyes wide in fear as he stared at the man in front of him.

He felt his heart beating in his throat, a fast, erratic thumping as fear clutched at his heart, squeezing the air out of him in a shaky breath.

He looked into the familiar golden amber eyes and knew that it was over.

His eyes moved to the gun pointed at him, cold and deadly as the man moved his finger, resting it on the trigger.

28 days ago…

He woke up with a dull headache, a thumping behind his eyelids, growing stronger and stronger with each blink. He groaned as he sat up, eyes taking in his surrounding but seeing nothing familiar.

The small room he was in, was rather simple. The walls were painted in white, bare around him, lacking any personal touch, not even a picture or a photograph. The bed was comfortable, a very simple single bed with white sheets and covers and a lone pillow. He glanced down at the bedside table and picked up the clock placed on top. The analogue digits showed that it was exactly 07:00 am. His eyes landed on a sink right next to a door before he spotted a small round mirror above it.

He frowned as he pushed himself off the bed, walking slowly towards the mirror, almost afraid of what he would see. He blinked once, twice, gazing at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes took in every detail, the way his black hair flopped to the side, soft strands falling onto his forehead. He stared into his own eyes in the mirror glass, trying to identify the exact colours of them. They were a mixture of amber and brown with gold flecks. He looked at his small nose, then down onto his cupid’s bow... his thin lips. His tongue darted out to lick his dry lips in a nervous gesture. He lifted his hand, touching his cheek, fingers running along his jaw line.

“Who the hell am I?” His voice came out a hoarse whisper, but whether it was due to not using it for a long time or due to the fact he had only woke up now, he didn’t know.

He looked down at his body, he was wearing a simple white trouser and t-shirt with a number 9 printed on the left side of the chest along with a pair of white shoes that somehow reminded him of those cheap, canvas shoes that prisoners would wear.

His eyes widened, shoes and clothes forgotten as a dreadful thought occurred to him. Was he a prisoner?

8

He spent 28 days, stuck in the building with no windows, no doors that would open. Alone.

He wished he could tell where he was, why he was there, but the only thing he ever managed to remember was his own name and even that, took him several days to recall.

The first time it happened, he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or a hallucination. It felt like a memory, familiar and personal. Almost like a glimpse from the past or perhaps a vision, created by his mind, he wasn’t sure.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Magnus.” He felt his lips tugging into a smirk as he held a hand out to the other man.

He watched with a little flutter in his heart as suddenly, a bright smile spread across the other’s face, lighting up his hazel eyes before grabbing his hand.

“I’m Alec.”

He wasn’t sure who Alec was, but from that day, he stopped thinking about himself as a number in some kind of system and instead he thought of himself as Magnus.

There were days between the first time and the next and it left him once again with more questions than answers.

He walked slowly up to the wall, phone in his hand as he scrolled through his contacts, stopping on a certain Pretty Boy . He bit his lip before pressing the call button, painted nails shining in the light.

“Hello. Who is this?” He heard a deep voice coming through from the other end and he smiled to himself before answering.

“Alexander, hi. It’s Magnus. We met the other day,”

“Uh, yeah. What’s up?”

“I was just thinking, it was very nice getting to know you.” He said as he walked around in circles, trying to play it smooth. “You seemed…sympathetic.” He blurted before closing his eyes in embarrassment. That was as far from smooth as possible. He picked up a book he was reading the night before, flipping it in his hand as a nervous tick. “Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?” He added, thinking that if his previous words didn’t scare the man away, he might as well go for it.

“That sounds fun.” Came the reply and Magnus stopped fidgeting with the book in his hand, smiling happily.

He still didn’t know who Alec was and couldn’t recall how he got his number, but the fact he liked the other man became very obvious. He spent night after night lying in bed, thinking about him. Was he out there? Was he... missing him? Did he realize he disappeared? Maybe they never managed to go on that date and they never spoke after.

He spent his days in loneliness, walking the endless corridors, looking into room after room, hoping desperately to find anything that could give him answers.

He started to doubt more and more that he was in prison. A prisoner? Maybe. But not in the common sense. There were no guards, no other inmates. He frowned, trying to remember how he knew what a prison was like, but all he managed to achieve was a throbbing headache and some nausea.

He sat in the small, kitchen like room, eating anything he could find and deemed suitable for human consumption. There was enough food in the cupboard for month by the look of it. He wondered when and who put them there, he even stayed awake for two nights, hoping to catch someone coming in, but it turned out to be pointless. No one was coming.

The next time he remembered something about Alec, it became clear that they have had gone on the date and it turned out rather successful.

He felt pump limps pressing against his own, eager and so ready to please. He felt the lips against his, opening slowly, letting his tongue in, meeting it halfway. It made him press his body closer to the other, hands moving to cup his face as they got lost in the kiss.

He kept replaying the memory in his head, occasionally touching his lips with his fingertips.

There were moments when he wondered if Alec was perhaps no more than a trick of his mind, someone created solely to make him feel less lonely. It was a bitter thought. One that sent him to heave above the toilet, stomach turning, throat burning.

They were standing in front of each other and he could see the small signs shoving just how nervous his boyfriend was.

“I was thinking... maybe we could move in. Together.” Alec said in one breath and it took him almost an embarrassingly long time to reply.

“Only if I can have a walk-in closet.” He said seriously but he felt the beginning of a grin tugging at his lips.

“You mean that?” Alec asked with a wide smile, full of happiness, before stepping closer to him.

He was angry. Whoever Alec was... they lived together. So, where was he? He counted the days, and he was there for almost a month, surely, he would realize something was missing in that time. He felt his stomach turning with nausea and his head spinning with all the questions he had with no one to answer them.

He wondered what he could’ve done, making the other man give up on him, forgetting about him.

He systematically explored every inch of the building, pulling everything apart, turning the entire place upside down. He knew well enough that there was nothing to find but it made the anger and fear subdue even if only for a short period of time.

He watched his boyfriend leaning over the pool table with a cocky smirk while he stood motionless, cue in hand as he raised a single eyebrow.

“It’s all about the angles.” His boyfriend explained before pulling the cue back slowly and with a forceful, punctual move, he sent the first ball into the hole. “Like archery.” He added with a smile, turning towards Magnus, motioning for him to go next.

He tried to hide his smile as his boyfriend turned away, taking a quick sip at his drink and he quickly leaned forward, pushing two balls in with ease.

He straightened up, finding his boyfriend staring at him with wide eyes that instantly ripped a laugh out of him.

“Oh darling, did no one ever tell you, that if you can’t find the one being hassled at a pool table, it’s probably you?” He asked.

“Oh, you’re on.” His boyfriend laughed with a shake of his head.”

Magnus was desperate to get out. He went from room to room, wall to wall, pounding and kicking the locked doors until he was out of breath, until his hands were bruised.

Whoever locked him up, made sure that there was no way he could ever get out of this hell hole. There wasn’t a single clue anywhere about what this place was. He hated it. He hated the white walls, the white floor, the tiny number nine on his t-shirt. He hated it all.

He sank down along the wall, back tilted against the cold tiles and took a deep breath. He felt his throat closing up, making it harder and harder to breathe.

Then he heard it. A door opening.

He was on his feet in seconds, the rapid movement giving him a whiplash as he swayed on the spot.

He felt his heart almost beating out of his chest, scared and hopeful at the same time.

He tried to listen to any noise, but he could barely hear anything apart from the buzzing in his ears.

Before he could make his mind up whether to hide or to go and see who was there with him a figure turned at the corner, coming to a halt as he spotted Magnus pressed to the wall.

It took him a minute until he could speak, his eyes strained on the man in front of him as he whispered.

“Alec?”

It seemed to pull out the other from whatever shock he was in, making him blink rapidly as he took a step closer to Magnus.

“Magnus.” He breathed, not a question but a statement. Before Magnus had a chance to do a much as blink, Alec was standing a few feet away from him, hands in the air between them a clear invitation.

“Are you really here?” The man asked with tears in his hazel eyes, making Magnus unable to do anything but nod.

He didn’t know who moved first, but the next moment he found himself between strong arms, his own grasping the man’s t-shirt, holding onto him with everything he had.

7

”You are beautiful.” Alec whispered in the dim light of his bedroom before cupping his face gently, kissing him with love and care. He felt his skin tingling where his fingertips touched, leaving goosebumps in their tracks. They spent hours and hours discovering each other, tangled together in the sheets, breathing and moaning, whispering “I love you”s into the dark.”

Magnus spent the whole day subtly avoiding any eye contact with Alec.

It’s been over a week since they met, and they never left the side of the other ever since.

At the start it was both awkward yet familiar to be around the other man. He felt like he knew him and deep down he knew he did, but having a glimpse of memories of him here and there, didn’t feel enough.

First Magnus hoped that Alec would have more knowledge of their situation, but it turned out that he had even less than what Magnus had. He told him about a few memories he had with him, a dinner night, some walk in the city were they placed a lock on the wall but apart from that, Alec had as much idea about the place or their reason for being there as Magnus.

They spent the next couple of days coming up with possible options from prison to hospital, but it didn’t bring them any closer to find answers.

“Neither of those add up. Not even with the numbers.” He said as he gestured towards the small 9 on Magnus’ t-shirt before he glanced down into his number 4 before continuing with a sigh. “Say we are prisoners, where are the guards? And other inmates? I mean, even if we did something absolutely horrific and were deemed to be the most dangerous criminals of all time, it doesn’t explain the lack of prison system. There aren’t even cameras.” Alec explained. Magnus suddenly remembered a tv-show about two brothers and prison. He couldn’t name it, nor any of the people in it, but from what he knew, Alec was right.

“Yeah, we are definitely not in a hospital either. There are no nurses, no doctors, no other patients. Although the white walls and sterile feeling is definitely there.” Magnus said, getting a nod from Alec.

“Plus, if we were, I’m sure our family would have visited by now.” Alec said quietly.

“You… you remember them?” Magnus heard the words slipping out before having the chance to stop them.

Alec shook his head with a humorless chuckle.

“I wish.” He said and looked at Magnus with an odd look.

“What is it?”

“It’s just, strange. I remember things. But I don’t know how. I know things but I can’t remember when or how I learnt about them. The only thing I seem to remember clearly is… well, you.”

“I remember you too.” Magnus said with a smile, before gently touching Alec’s hand.

6

On the good side of things, it helped Magnus to get to know Alec a bit better and to learn about him; like how he woke up super early, how he would spend hours to do push-ups and god knows what each day, that rolling his eyes seemed to be his default reaction to anything and everything, that his whole face lit up when he smiled, that his voice was always a few octaves deeper in the mornings, he also blushed on cue and stuttered when he was embarrassed, but was still charismatic, even authoritative on occasions which somehow always made Magnus’ knees weak.

Alec has been there for a lot longer than Magnus. He wasn’t sure in days, he lost track of the days after he reached one hundred and Magnus tried his absolute best not to dwell on that information or try to guess at which point will he lose the track of days.

The man was blunt and honest but not in a rude way. He also made jokes that were a tad bit too sarcastic but with no heat behind them. He was also caring and paid attention to everything that Magnus said and to the things he didn’t. He seemed to sense when Magnus wanted to be alone, leaving him to himself without trying to engage him in a conversation. He also spotted where Magnus felt unable to stay still and then they went for a walk, observing the place where Alec was staying until now. The part of the building Alec was in, seemed a lot bigger than his own. Maybe even three times of its size. It turned out that the door separating the two parts of the building could be only opened from Alec’s side and since Alec has spent majority of his days in the opposite corner, the furthest from where Magnus was, he never heard any noise. Not until that one day, when the sound of someone shouting and beating the walls echoed in the entire wing.

Despite the significantly spacious environment on the other side of the door, it seemed to be providing no information about their situation.

In fear of being separated again, or in Magnus’ case, waking up to loneliness realizing that Alec was nothing more than a dream, a hallucination, a mirage he never truly had and could never reach, they spent the nights together, two beds pushed next to each other.

They slept together, but save for the occasional hugs and comforting touches, they never got closer.

So, waking up one morning with an erection after having erotic dreams about the other, Magnus had no idea what to do.

It was obvious that they were once a couple. They lived together. For all he knew, they might have been married, but Alec never made a move and neither did Magnus.

Hence, Magnus stood in front of the sink, trying to splash some water on his face.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked, voice raspy in the morning as he squinted at Magnus.

“Yeah.” He breathed as he blinked at the man, smiling at the sight of his bed head.

Alec looked exactly like the version in his memories, saved for the slightly longer hair and beard.

They had a shower with cold water and soap, but there was nothing to shave.

The clear lack of anything that could be used to harm others, or even themselves, was both surprising and expected.

Magnus blinked a few times, only realizing that he must have spent this whole time staring at Alec.

Alec gave him a look that he couldn’t exactly decipher. He was frowning but there was no sign of annoyance. It almost seemed as if he was thinking about something, really hard.

He opened his mouth to ask him about it, but before he could do so, Alec jumped out of bed, stopping in front of Magnus with barely a few inches separating them.

The close proximity of the other man brought all the memories of his dream back with a renewed force, vivid pictures of the man, all naked and sweaty flushed before his eyes.

His eyes met a pair of hazel ones, full of hope, want and love and before he knew it, they were kissing.

It was nothing like their first kiss, nor like the one they shared in his memories from last night.

This kiss was like a moment of freedom, a freedom he didn’t know he was desperately yearning for, like a gulp of fresh air after being confined between four walls for so long.

He felt a hand gently touching his face, while the other pulled him closer by his waist and despite the absurdity of their situation, he would not be anywhere else in that moment.

They parted slowly after a handful of minutes, resting their foreheads together as both of them tried their best to catch their breath.

5

A few hours later, Magnus walked slowly, giggling as he raised his hands, trying to feel anything in front of him.

“I’m not gonna walk you into a wall.” He heard Alec’s voice coming from right behind him, his lips almost touching his ear and it sent shivers down his spine.

“I know.” Magnus said with a smile and he meant it. He trusted Alec with his life.

“Okay. I’m gonna move my hands now, but please keep your eyes closed.” Alec instructed before doing as he said, stepping away from Magnus.

He had no idea what Alec was up to, but he disappeared in the kitchen thirty minutes ago or so, and Magnus wasn’t allowed to follow him. Until now.

“Ready? You can look now.” Alec said and Magnus raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of his tone, all of a sudden, he sounded nervous and it only intrigued Magnus’ curiosity.

He opened his eyes, and he felt his mouth parting in surprise.

On the table was a dinner. Probably the most pathetic dinner he ever had, yet the most touching one.

“I know it’s not much; I mean...” Alec gestured with his hand, oblivious to the tears of happiness in Magnus’ eyes.

He shook his head and opened his mouth to explain that it was perfect. That Alec was perfect, but the next moment he felt his breath hitching in his throat and he fell to his knees, his hands grabbing his hair as he groaned in pain.

“Magnus!” Alec shouted and he saw him move towards him as his world shifted, the image blurring in front of his eyes before it changed completely.

He walked onto a balcony and he found the most beautiful candle lit dinner table he’s ever seen. Red rose petals were covering some of the tables as well as the ground. It was dark, starts peppered across the sky, the only light coming from the dozens of candles placed around the balcony, illuminating the small circular table.

“Magnus. Magnus!” He came back to Alec hoovering above him, white as a sheet, concern and worry plastered across his face.

Magnus sat up with a groan, the pain was gone as suddenly as it appeared.

“Oh my-.“ Alec choked before hugging him tightly.

He hugged him back, felt his body trembling under his touch.

“Just a flashback.” Magnus explained with a wave of his hand as he let Alec to pull him to his feet.

“Was it because of the dinner?” He asked with so much guilt in his voice that Magnus shook his head, trying to ignore how he blatantly lied to the other man.

“Of course not.” He said with a smile before pressing a kiss to Alec’s lips, pulling him to the table.

After their ‘date’, the rest of the day passed in a blur as they laid in bed, kissing and smiling at each other and for the first time since Magnus could remember, he felt happy.

Truly happy as Alec pulled him close, his head resting on the man’s chest, his heartbeat steady and calming as they drifted in and out of sleep.

When he woke up, he found the bed next to him empty and his heart skipped a beat.

Alec was gone.

He sat up, head spinning, vision blurring as he fought against the panic crawling up his throat.

“ALEC!” He shouted, panic and fear laced in his voice as he willed his body to move forward.

He felt his legs shaking as he took a step closer to his door, but before he could reach it, it opened with a loud bang, revealing a panting Alec, eyes wide as he scanned Magnus, looking for any sign of injury.

“F…F-Fuck...” Magnus breathed, legs giving out from under him as he collapsed against the bed, hands moving up to cover his face.

“Magnus. What happened? Are you okay?” Alec kneeled in front of him, his hands moving to his, peeling them away softly from his face.

“I woke up and you were gone.” Magnus whispered softly as he looked away from Alec, feeling awfully vulnerable all of a sudden.

“I was... oh Magnus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you w-. I didn’t think. I’m so sorry.” Alec breathed as he pulled Magnus into a hug, one hand caressing his back while the other cupped the back of his neck, allowing Magnus to bury his head in the crook of his neck.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t. You are all I have.” Magnus muttered into Alec’s neck.

“You won’t. I promise. I… I love you Magnus.” Alec said quietly before moving away just enough to look into Magnus’ eyes.

“I love you too, Alec.” Magnus said before pulling him back, hugging him tightly.

“I... found something.” Alec said after a few minutes and Magnus sat up suddenly.

“What?” Magnus asked, trying not to get his hopes up too much, but it was hard considering that after all this time, they finally found something.

Alec walked him to the other end of building, before stopping in front of a door.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, glancing at Alec, not entirely understanding what Alec’s discovery was.

The door was there before too, steel double doors, shut closed at the middle.

They spent half a day previously, trying to get it open with no luck.

Alec glanced as his boyfriend, before removing what turned out to be a panel at the left side, revealing a small pin panel and a handprint scan.

“Oh my god.” He was stunned as he stepped closer, hardly believing to his eyes.

“I haven’t touched it. Not sure what it would do. I wanted to talk to you first.” Alec explained.

“I’m sure it’s like any other PIN pad, and something would definitely happen after three trial, but if it is like one, it also means that it resets after 24 hours.” Magnus explained with a frown, wondering how was he sure about that information being right.

“Okay, let’s say you are right. Still. It’s a four-digit pin. That means 10,000 variations. If we try three each 24 hours, that means we would be here for nine years trying out all of them and that is if it doesn’t block the entire system. Or worse.”

Magnus blinked at Alec for a moment or two.

“Let’s try the scan.” He said with a shrug, before reaching out, just to have Alec catch him by the wrist before he could touch it.

“We have no idea what happens if the scan fails.” Alec said, eyes wide with fear. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of anything worse than spending nine years here.” Magnus said, looking into Alec’s eyes, hoping that the other would understand. They had to try.

After what felt like hours of silently staring at each other, Alec closed his eyes.

“Okay.” Alec said with a sigh. “But let me go first?” He asked and Magnus had to bite his tongue to refrain himself from saying no. After all, it was his idea and he couldn’t back down now, so instead he grabbed Alec’s other hand, intervening their fingers before giving him a firm nod.

He watched as Alec let out a shaky breath before placing his hand on top of the scan.

The screen quickly flashed red. “Access denied.” Before turning black again.

They stood there, unmoving for a long few second, waiting for any kind of consequence.

“Well, no apocalypse.” Magnus said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

He raised his hand, but once again, Alec caught it.

“What if that’s why we are here?”

“What?”

“What if we are the last ones alive?” He asked and Magnus wasn’t sure if Alec was joking or serious for a moment.

“One way to find out.” Magnus said before pressing his hand onto the cold surface of the scanner.

He felt his heart jumping up to his throat as the screen fleshed green with the two words he never truly expected to see. “Access granted.”

4

They simultaneously took a step back, holding onto each other’s hand as the doors opened slowly, revealing another room.

Contrast to the rest of the building, it was rather dark, all steel surfaces.

They looked at each other and he found that everything he could say to the man was already reflecting in hazel eyes.

With a deep breath, they walked in.

Magnus wasn’t sure how, but he knew the purpose of the room as soon as his eyes scanned the room.

They were in some kind of laboratory.

He glanced at Alec and with a nod they parted ways, never losing sight of the other as they explored around. He walked towards with two computers on top, but his eyes were already on the sea of papers, haphazardly scattered across the desk, some of them lying on the floor. Magnus’ eyes widened as he looked at the notes.

There were numerous files on the computer as well as lying around in a mess.

He frowned as he picked up a notebook and his eyes ran over the seemingly random dates and what seemed like symptoms.

06/06/2025 – slurred speech, clear indication of hallucinations, depression 12/07/2025 – weight loss, inability to speak, memory loss – advanced symptoms of CJD 01/09/2025 – entered final stage 28/09/2025 – death

He turned the page and found a continued list of symptoms, all of them assigned to different dates.

He turned to the front and found the first note dated back to 2018. The last one was dated three months ago. He looked at the computer and his eyes caught a series of files, each numbered from 0-9. His eyes landed on nine. He felt his heart beating faster as he moved the cursor over it and tapped it twice to open it.

“What the hell?” The words left his lips in a whisper.

On the screen… was him. His name in big capital letters: MAGNUS BANE. But that was not what shocked him… no… it was the footnote under the name.

Subject number: Nine. Trial: same as subject Four Status: initial stage Information on his blood pressure, blood sugar level along with many more he couldn’t focus on.

He wasn’t speaking loud enough for Magnus to make out the words, but it was audible enough to allow him to pick up on the tenseness in his voice, the nervous tone to his words. Without thinking, he turned away from the computer and rushed to him.

There was someone else with them.

“Alec?” He called out as he stepped into the room and he felt his world shifting, the ground almost slipping from under his foot as his eyes landed on the other man in the room, standing opposite to Alec.

Magnus knew him. His hair was longer, he looked older… but everything else was the same. The small nose, the thin lips, the amber eyes… Magnus looked at himself… but this time not in a mirror... but across from him in the room.

“Hello, Nine. I’m Magnus. Magnus Bane. The real one.” The man said calmly, almost matter-of-factly as he locked eyes with Magnus.

“What do you mean the real one?” Alec asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked between the two men.

“I mean what I said. I am the original Magnus Bane.” The man explained and he raised a hand towards Magnus as he spoke “He is the ninth one.”

“I... I don’t... I can’t...” Magnus stuttered as he took a step back, something nagging at the back of his mind, something that was becoming clearer and clearer since he found those notes, but he couldn’t put a name to it.

“It’s alright. Calm down. There is no need to panic.” The other Magnus said, hands raised in a defensive move as he took a step forward, now standing closer to Alec than Magnus was.

“I don’t understand. Any of this.” Alec said, his eyes flicking between them.

“Oh, Alexander. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” The older man said as he smiled gently at Alec, lovingly even. “I thought you were dead.”

“What?” Alec whispered as he took a step back away from the older man, towards Magnus and it took Magnus everything he had in him to stop himself from reaching out to his lover.

“I mean... you were meant to be dead. A long time ago. The fact that you are here… it’s a miracle... it’s proof that it worked.” The older Magnus smiled happily, tears welling in his eyes as he looked at Alec with such intensity that Magnus almost believed his words.

“What worked?”

“The treatment. I found the cure.”

“The cure for what?” Alec asked once again, and it was becoming clear in his voice that he was close to losing his patience.

“For the disease that killed my husband. My Alexander.”

“What?” Magnus blurted, but now the confusion came a certain kind of dread that settled in his chest, growing bigger and bigger with each passing second.

“I met Alexander when we were both young, in our early twenties. In 2012.” He said with a deep breath and a barely-there smile as he looked at Alec. “We fell in love, fast and hard. One could say that neither of us saw it coming, by the time we realized what he had we were both in too deep. Our love for one another was like no other love out there. We were invincible. Or so we thought. Until Alexander got sick. It started with depression... and for a long time, we thought it was only that. But then... other symptoms came. The dizziness, the headaches, the anxiety, the difficulty to focus… to speak. By the time we realized what the problem was… he was almost at the end of the initial stage. I will never forget the day when we sat in the hospital and the doctor came in to inform us that he had Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

There is nothing worse than being told that the man you love more than life itself has a condition that is incurable. That from now on.. they aren’t focusing on treating him and trying to save his life... but instead now we wait… for the inevitable end. I think a part of us died on that day. The part of us full of plans and hopes for the future. We were just told that we won’t grow old together... that we won’t be here next year... that in a few months... death will do us part. I tried everything. I tried treatment when other doctors refused to treat him. I spent days and nights trying to find a way to save the man I loved. And I failed. I watched him grow weaker and weaker each day... until one autumn morning... he stopped fighting.” Magnus remembered the first notes from 2018 and he felt his breath hitching in his throat as realization slowly settled in.

“The day before he died... I promised him that I will find a way. And I spent the last decade or so, working on keeping my promise. After years of research… I found a way to clone people. I used his DNA I had from previous tests… and I created him. The man I loved. And I couldn’t have been happier. I had Alexander back. But then it started again... the depression... the balance and coordination problems... and less than a year after... I lost him again. To the same disease. The DNA I had from him was after he got sick... so the new Alexander also received the disease… So, I created a new one. He lived for even shorter than the previous one. I realized that this way... I can find a cure. I have someone with the disease... I can do tests and trial treatments… But losing you, over and over again... it killed me. It broke my heart and no matter how many times I watched you leave me... it never got easier... so I decided to create a clone of myself... infect it with the disease... and try to find a cure. The disease in my case was even more peracute. The second one died less than half a month after exposing him to the illness.

I created the last clone of Alexander... over a year ago. When I saw the first signs of the advanced stage... I decided that I can’t watch him die again in my arms... you were meant to die within months. No one with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease lived longer than a year after the initial symptoms appeared. But you are still here... and you speak...and...”

“You… you cloned me? Us?” Alec asked, voice laced with shock and utter disbelief.

“I had to. It was the only way to be with you again.” The older Magnus said with such softness in his voice that it almost made Magnus believe that it was regret woven into his words.

“How many... clones did you make?” Alec asked and Magnus felt his stomach dropping.

“Nine.” He whispered, his eyes moving down onto the number etched into his t-shirt.

“Yes.” The other man nodded as he looked at Magnus before quickly turning away from both of them. He walked away slowly to the desk. “You see... the first three Alexanders I created passed away quickly... it was after I created you, number four – he said before pointing at Alec’s t-shirt – that I realized I can’t lose you again. So, I created Magnus one, which if we want to be precise was number five. Ninth here was the last one.” He said still not looking at them, only nodding towards Magnus’ direction vaguely before turning around.

“But now... I have the cure. I have you. I don’t need him anymore.” He said as he pointed a gun at Magnus.

He stood rooted to the spot, eyes wide in fear as he stared at the man in front of him. He felt his heart beating in his throat, a fast, erratic thumping as fear clutched at his heart, squeezing the air out of him in a shaky breath. He looked into the familiar golden amber eyes and knew that it was over. His eyes moved to the gun pointed at him, cold and deadly as the man moved his finger, resting it on the trigger.

He felt tears in his eyes, mourning for himself and all the others. The thought of all of them... having thoughts and feelings and memories... they were real. They were real, living and breathing people.

All created in a lab by a man who couldn’t let go of his love.

As he stood there, eyes not leaving the other’s face.. he mourned for him a bit too. As twisted as it sounded... he felt sad for the older man. To imagine a love so strong... that it was enough to wash away any morals or ethics the man once must have held as a doctor, just to be reunited with his lover.

He remembered vividly all the memories he had with Alec and realized that they weren’t his memories but memories of the man in front of him. It broke his heart.

He knew, he felt the love the real Magnus felt for Alec. The respect, the admiration he felt for the other man. He wondered what his Alexander would have said if he saw the man he loved, once kind, caring and so considerate of everyone around him to turn into someone so lonely and hurt by the cruelty of life. That the man he loved was willing to play God, to break rules and overstep boundaries so easily just to be with him again.

He closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to roll down his cheek. He wanted to live. He desperately wanted to experience the world, all the moments he thought he once had, but turned out to be nothing but someone else's memories. He selfishly wanted that happiness to be his. Even if he knew that they were never his to start with.

He prepared for the end and for a fleeing moment, he wondered if this was what Alexander felt like at the end of his condition. This gut-wrenching fear and helplessness knowing that no matter what he did, the end was coming, and he had no way of stopping it.

He mourned for him too.

He heard the sound of the gunshot and he squeezed his eyes shut so hard it was almost painful, but apart from the self-inflicted pain, he didn’t feel anything.

He opened his eyes and found the the older Magnus lying on the floor, Alec on top of him.

“Alex-.”

“Stop.” Alec grunted; hand curled around the man’s wrist that was holding the gun.

He watched as Alec forced the gun out of his hands before turning it around, pointing at the older man under him.

“What are you doing?” Magnus panted, eyes wide in shock as he was pinned to the floor. Magnus watched the two of them, unable to move.

“I... I…” Alec stuttered and even though he couldn’t see his face, his back was turned towards Magnus where he stood, he could hear the pain in his voice, tears choking him as he tried to speak.

“I have all his memories... I remember everything. The first time you met, your first date, your first kiss… the first time you made love to him. I know how much he loved you, how he adored you. This isn't what he would have wanted, Magnus.” And this.. this isn’t how I want to remember you Magnus. And I know he wouldn’t want to either.” He said, shoulders shaking with silent cries.

“Alexander...”

“You killed... so many of us. Over and over again. That is not something the man I fell in love would ever do. I died Magnus. I wish... I wish you would’ve had the chance to grow old together. To have a family. But life... life doesn’t always give us what we want. Alexander isn’t the only one who died that day. You did too. A part of you never moved on. I think... I think you should... be with him.”

“We can be. We can be.” Magnus chanted eagerly, voice hoping yet desperate.

“And we will be. I will be waiting for you at the Brooklyn-bridge. I promise.” Alec whispered as he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the man’s forehead before a gunshot rang through the air again.

He never thought he would ever have this. Now, here they were, standing on a roof top surrounded by the blue and white lights of the never sleeping city. The sight of the Brooklyn bridge, bright like a beacon of hope in the darkness of the night. He felt the warmth of a body pressing up to his back before arms sneaked around his waist, hugging him gently. He smiled as he tilted his head back against his lover’s chest, finding comfort in the small puffs or air hitting his neck and the familiar scent of Alexander’s cologne.

[oliviaadamswrites]

Plus Signs - Chapter 10

[Part of Souvenirs Series] [Read via AO3]

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Prompt: Chris and his new lady brought back a souvenir from Disneyland and now begins the fun of telling their families. Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Smut... all the things. Word Count: 7,086

[<<< Chapter Nine] [[<<< Chapter One]]

CHAPTER NOTES: This chapter has been years in the making. Literally. It has been through many iterations, many mood changes, many "this is garbage I'm completely starting over" hissy fits... and everything in between. I've been sitting on this version for over a year now, terrified to publish this much ANGST. But, it's past time. Chris and the Reader have so much more to experience and, I want to get there. To get there meant I needed to get past this hurdle. Maybe this could have been two chapters, or even three, but... I digress. THE HURDLE... If you are still reading this, after so long... I am so thankful! If you are getting into this fic series for the first time... I am so thankful! I just hope you won't have to experience multiple year long hiatuses, like your for-readers! HA Ok... please enjoy!

                       ________________________________________

Chris and I had spent Thanksgiving in Boston and would be spending Christmas with my family. The simple fact that Chris was worried about me traveling “so late in the pregnancy” had settled the deal, despite the fact that my doctor had given the go-ahead to travel much further along.

I had quickly found that when it came to me feeling the slightest bit of discomfort, in any way shape or form, it was simply easier to let Chris make the decisions. His constant worry was ever present yet, thankfully, adorable and hadn’t driven me crazy. On the other hand, figuring out a name for this child was going to drive us both absolutely bonkers.

“Please tell me you are joking,” I glared at Chris’s image on my phone.

“Seriously? You don’t like it?” he laughed.

“No, absolutely not. Our child will not be named Christopher Robin.” I propped the device against the decorative bowl on my kitchen table, freeing my hands to cut a piece of chicken in half.

“Fine,” he scoffed, taking a sip of his water. “How’s your chicken?”

“Delicious,” I mumbled with my mouth still full. “Yours?”

“I ruined it, I really did.” He shook his head, staring at the plate in front of him, just off camera. “I just can’t figure out what I did wrong.”

“I told you to be careful to not cook it too long,” I teased, taking a dramatic bite of food.

“You be nice!” He pointed at me with his fork, squinting his eyes. I smiled back mockingly, my lips tight across my teeth. “Don’t make me cut you off from date night!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” I pulled my napkin to my chest in mock horror. “You like this too much.”

“I do,” he conceded. “I definitely do. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world?”

“Except actually being here with me… right?” I raised one eyebrow to him.

“Of course! I’d give anything for that!” His eyes went dark as he pursed his lips.

“Hey,” I urged softly. “No crying on date night.”

“I’m not,” Chris shook his head, smiling. “I promise.”

“Good… because we have business to attend to,” I sighed out, pushing my plate away.

“You sound so excited,” he teased.

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired,” I sighed again.

“And?” he pressed.

“And… I’m worried that we’ll never agree on a name.” I felt my face twist in worry.

Hiding my emotions and true feelings from Chris was something that I failed at continuously. It wasn’t just that I was bad at it, it was that he seemed to read between the lines. Always watching the smallest of facial expressions, listening to my tone and inflection. He well and truly heard the things I said and even more so the things I didn’t say.

“We have time. We have so much more time,” he soothed my worries with his low voice.

“Not really,” I countered.

“Really? We have like…” he paused and looked up and to the side with his eyes. “… Seventeen more weeks? We will totally nail down a name before then. Way before then.”

“I guess we don’t really have another choice, do we?” I laughed at the realization.

“No, no we don’t,” he chuckled. “So what’s on the short list?”

“We don’t even have a short list!” I cried out, lifting my hands into the air, exasperated.

“Ok, ok!” He raised his palms to me in surrender. “It’s ok. It’s fine. What’s on the long list?”

I pulled my notebook around and flipped it open, settling on the page littered with scribbles, doodles, lists, scratched out names and notes about people we didn’t like and therefore couldn’t use their names.

“We have roughly sixty five million girl names that we love, forty million girl names that we like… and… exactly 3 names for a boy that we ‘don’t hate’…” I finger quoted the air.

“Well, maybe that means she’s a girl.” Chris was grinning at me from the screen.

“Maybe.” I smiled back. “But we still need to narrow down the girl names and get some more boy names on board.”

“I still say Christopher Robin.” His eyes lit up, knowing that he was pushing my buttons.

“Not only is that silly, but its way too close to your name,” I scowled at him.

“Well, if it is a boy… maybe we could name him after me?” Now his face twisted in an adorable questioning way, one eyebrow up, one scowled, his lips pulled to the side in a smirk.

“I am so glad we are having this conversation on facetime!” I nearly squealed at the sight of his face.

“What?! Why?”

I watched his face turn to innocent concern.

“Just to watch your face right now. In this moment. To see how you’re really feeling, behind what you’re saying, showing on your face!” I leaned forward, layering my arms on the table in front of me, inching closer to my phone.

“Don’t you start talking about my eyebrows right now! Don’t do it!” he play shouted, covering his forehead with one hand.

“I love you,” I laughed the words out. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” he sighed back.

“You really want to name your boy after you?”

“I do,” he nodded, smiling.

“I can tell.” I took a deep breath to settle myself and continued. “So, we will name our son, if we have a son, after his father.”

“Really? You mean that?” His face lit up with joy.

“Of course I mean it, you silly man! I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” I leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. “Naming this baby is stressful enough, I’m not going to joke about something that clearly means something to you.” I looked down at my ever expanding belly and ran my hands over and over, smiling. “Tiny Christopher Junior.”

“Tiny Christopher Junior,” he repeated.

“Junior… or the second?” I looked back to the phone now.

“Junior, for sure. Our kid can’t walk around Boston thinking he’s some prince or something, with the second,” he shook his head roughly, chuckling to himself.

“Boston?” My heart fluttered at the thought of moving.

“I’m sure he’ll visit there, at least once in his life, right?” He winked at me, quickly easing my worries. I wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet and he knew it.

“Of course he will,” I agreed.

“Ok, so we have a boy name picked out,” he cheered. “Air high five!”

We mimicked a high-five between our phones and both erupted into a fit of giggles.

“We are going to be horrible parents!” I roared in laughter.

“No, no no no! We are going to be fun parents!”

“Well, that’s for sure!” I agreed, whole heartedly.

“Alright,” he popped a piece of chicken into his mouth and immediately made a sour face. He turned his face from the camera to swipe the offending food way into his napkin.

“That bad huh?” I pulled my lips between my teeth, attempting to maintain composure.

“Ugh, yes,” he grumbled. “I’m picking the recipe next time.”

“Oh come on! You can’t blame the recipe! Mine turned out just fine.”

“Yeah, well… I’ll pick something that I know I can cook for next time.” He fidgeted with his plate, obviously moving his chicken away from the rest of his food.

“That sounds fair. Just no barbeque. You know I can’t barbeque.”

“Deal.” He poked around his plate some more and then settled his eyes on the screen again. “I’m gonna see you in a few days anyway. Maybe I’ll barbeque for you while I’m there.”

“I like that idea.” I smiled at the idea of Chris cooking at my house. Moving around my house, like he belonged here. Because he does belong here.

He had started to leave things at my place, here and there. A shirt one time, left behind for me to sleep in. A toothbrush another time, after forgetting his own and needing to buy one. The next time he bought an entire set of toiletries to leave behind. I had surprised him by clearing out space in the master bathroom for his things to take up residence. Now, it seemed that each trip his luggage was getting smaller and smaller. He had a small selection of button down shirts hanging in my closet. A handful of t-shirts, some pants and workout clothes, were neatly folded in my dresser. One pair of flip flops, a pair of running shoes and a pair of casual shoes were lined up in the corner of the closet. A spare charger was permanently plugged in at the nightstand on “his” side of my bed. His toiletries now co-mingled with my own in the bathroom. He even had a favorite coffee mug, which I secretly used nearly every morning that he wasn’t there.

“So what is on the baby check list while I’m home?” he interrupted my thoughts with a quiet question. I smiled at the mention of “home” and his face lit up as he registered my delight.

“Well…” I started, turning pages in my notebook again. “Besides picking a girl name? Finish painting. Assemble the crib. Decorate. Pick out some bedding to put on the baby registry.”

“Ooh, do we get to use one of those beepy things at Target?” He was nearly bouncing in excitement.

“If you want to,” I laughed. “But if we find something that we like online, then we’ll just add it to the Amazon registry.”

“I say we check Target first. I really want to use one of those things.” He shook his head as his own ridiculousness.

“We can check Target first,” I assured him.

“When is your shower, again?”

“The first weekend in March.”

“So loooooong. I want to buy stuff now,” he whined.

“I do too… but they’re really excited about this. We should let them have their fun.” I really was so glad that my family was being so supportive. Mom had a not-so-secret stash of baby things, “hidden” in the guest room closet. Dad gave me updates each time Mom or my sister added to the stash. So far it seems that it was mostly clothes, for both boys and girls. Dad said Mom was going to save the un-needed clothes for the next baby. When Dad confessed all of this to me I laughed so hard that I cried.

“I know, you’re right,” he conceded. “We’re still doing the nursery decorations ourselves, right?”

“Yes, we are. So get your butt back out here so we can work on it!” I was suddenly sad, missing him so much it was nearly painful.

“Hey,” he urged gently. “I will be there in a few days. We will decorate and paint and I will cook for you and rub your feet and…”

“And cuddle in bed?” I raised my eyebrows to him, simply missing his touch. Missing his presence in the house. Missing his laughter echoing off the walls.

“And cuddle in bed,” he agreed. “And do other things in bed.”

I snorted a laugh in response.

“Hey now, the doctor keeps saying that these hormones are supposed to make you crazy for me!” His eyes went wide in exaggeration.

“I’m already crazy for you,” I argued.

“You sure about that?”

“Of course I am!” I cried out. “Are you complaining about the frequency? Or is the quality not up to your expectations?” I squinted my eyes at him.

“Neither!” He surrendered his palms again, laughing. “Neither, I swear. I was just teasing! I promise!”

“I was just teasing, too.” A smile broke across my face and I burst into giggles.

“Oh man, you got me… I swear. I’m so scared to make you mad. Supposedly these hormones are supposed to make you like…”

“Crazy?” I interrupted, still laughing.

“I didn’t say crazy!” He held up a finger in protest.

“No, I did.” I took a deep breath and sighed, calming myself. “I’m not crazy though, right?”

“Not at all, honey. Not at all.”

… … …  … … …

A few long and tiring days later Chris arrived, letting himself into my home with the key I had forced into his hand the last time he left. The argument was laid moot at my insistence that if something were to happen, he needed a key.

Nothing bad had happened, but I was thankful that Chris had his key when he found me snoozing at my desk in the studio

“Good morning sunshine,” he crooned as I blinked my eyes open.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” I groaned, lifting my head from the desk surface, a paper sewing pattern coming with my cheek. Chris chuckled gently peeling the paper off.

“Is it time to take maternity leave?” He joked and looked around the room. The clutter made my exhaustion obvious. On the cutting table, a pair of dressmaking sheers lay open, topping a pile of cut fabric, with scraps littering the surrounding surface. A new pattern lay nearby, only half taped together. Both serger and sewing machine stood proudly lit, still switched on. Piles of old and new fabric, haphazardly hanging from their shelves, bolts threatening to fall over, near ones that already had.

My eyes followed his gaze around the room, landing on my laptop that I had pushed to the side, still brightly lit with my webhost back end on the screen. I shook my head and clicked ‘save’, hoping that my edits hadn’t timed out. With confirmation of my changes I checked my phone, noting five missed calls. Three from Chris and two from Kate.

“I need to call Kate,” I rasped, before clearing my throat.

“To talk to her about maternity leave?” Concern was etched across Chris’ face.

“No… not yet,” I scowled as I clicked through my phone. E-mails from a fabric designer filled my inbox. I winced. “Remember that conference I skipped to come to New Mexico?”

“I do,” he nodded slowly.

“I was supposed to meet with a fabric designer…”

“A big one, right? Your sister told me.”

“Yes,” I sighed out disappointment in myself. “Basically, I lied and told her I was sick and needed to reschedule. Then later told her that I’m pregnant.”

“Ok… and?” Chris didn’t hide the confusion.

“She assumed the illness was morning sickness and was actually really cool about it,” I felt my eyebrows raise and I filled him in.

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“It is! Yes… but… it pushed back the design. It was working out to be an exclusive fabric design for me. For my clothing line.”

“That’s amazing, honey!” Chris beamed at me, then scowled. “Wait, so what it wrong?”

“We haven’t found time to get together, so everything has been through email, which pushes back the timeline. With the fabric design pushed back, the clothing design gets pushed back and I just really want this line to AT LEAST be in manufacturing before the baby is born.” I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes. Chris was right, I needed a break, but there was no way I would enjoy maternity leave, knowing my company was left hanging. And to be fair, it seemed way too early for maternity leave.

“Ok… alright… we’ve got this. It’s ok.” Chris turned my desk chair toward him and knelt in front of me. “So, what do we need to do to get to that point… or to get to a point that you can leave it to Kate?”

“I can’t leave it all to Kate. This is my company!” Tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t do that. This is my design. This is what I’ve been waiting for! An exclusive fabric for such a small company… it’s so hard! I can’t just walk away! I want to enjoy this. I’ve worked SO hard for it!” I could feel my emotions taking over. These damn hormones.

“Oh honey,” Chris pulled me into a hug. “You will! It’ll be ok!”

“No!” I wailed. “It won’t! I have to take maternity leave at some point… I have to take a break! I’m losing my mind, I swear! I’m exhausted all the time and then when I sleep, I dream of sewing!”

“Let’s take a little break, get out of this room, go put that crib together!” Chris looked at me expectantly.

“I was dreaming about sewing the baby’s bedding, when you woke me up,” I nearly whispered, shaking my head slowly.

“Oh honey,” Chris whispered, pulling me into another hug.

“I don’t know what to do right now. I’m so tired, I can’t think.” I sniffled, wiped my eyes and pulled my head up to look him in the face, for what seemed like the first time since he woke me. “And I need a shower, so bad.”

“Alright,” Chris stood abruptly. “I’ve got this.”

“You do?” My face twisted in amusement and confusion.

“Yep. You need a shower, a break and some help. I’ve got this.” He straightened up, putting his hands on his hips and surveyed the room again. “Go get in the shower. I’m going to get Kate in here to clean up… AH!” He held up a finger when I tried to protest. “I will pay her for her time today and then I think we should maybe talk to her about either changing her schedule, or taking on more hours.”

“And then what?” I sighed, knowing he was right.

“Then, when you get out of the shower, you’re going to answer those emails,” he motioned at my phone. “Then we can eat something or you can take a nap, but you’ll decide that AFTER you shower. Alright?”

“Alright.” I agreed, succumbing to his help. “Let me get you Kate’s number.”

“You’re silly if you think I don’t already have it,” he chuckled, retrieving his phone from his back pocket. “Get in the shower, now. You smell.”

“I do not!” I protested, standing with the assistance of his free hand.

“You don’t,” he smiled, kissing the top of my head. “But, I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“I hear it’s worse once the baby comes,” I teased.

“I won’t like that either, but I’ll do whatever I can to help. I can promise you that.” With a gentle push I was out the door and walking across my back yard. Simply being outside in the fresh air was already a welcome change. I glanced around, imagining playing with our sweet little girl that was yet to come.

“We should get a swing set back here,” Chris called from the doorway of the pool house studio.

“I was just thinking that,” I called back.

“Shower first. I can smell you from here!” His chuckle almost choked off his words.

To say I took a long shower would be the understatement of history. I started with the shower, steaming hot, standing under the cascade with my eyes closed. When my legs tired I longed for a bath and switched to the tub faucet, plugging the drain as I sat down to enjoy the bath.

Chris knocked softly on the door as he opened it slightly.

“Did you fall asleep in there?” His voice was low, as if he didn’t want to interrupt me, had I actually been sleeping.

“No,” I giggled. “Just reveling at how my belly sort of floats in the tub.”

“Just your belly?” I heard his tone change.

“Well, no, but… my boobs always floated,” my giggle bubbling into a laugh.

“I’m sad I never noticed that.” I could hear the smile in his voice before he peeked around the curtain.

“Cool, huh?” I smiled up at him, my hands running down my stomach.

“Very,” his smile turned and he tipped his head to the side. “Is she moving?”

“She’s movin,” I stopped my hand, attempting to feel her kicks from the outside. “Wanna try to feel again?”

“Eh… I’m kinda worried I’ll just be disappointed again.” He shrugged his feelings away and sat on the edge of the tub.

“I have a good feeling this time,” I grinned as I felt a tapping from my belly, on my hand.

“Oh do you now?” He shifted his weight and moved his hand to hover over mine, in a silent request for permission to touch me.

I took Chris’ hand in my free hand, sliding it under my opposite palm. We waited, our eyes locked. I felt a small bubble of movement, deep in my belly and frowned.

“I don’t know…” his face fell completely, dejected and disappointed.

“Shh, give her a second,” I scowled back at him. As if on cue, the tiniest of kicks made my eyebrows shoot up. “Did you feel that!?”

“No.” Chris exhaled through his nose as tears welled in his eyes. “I swear I’m never gonna….”

He was interrupted by jab, straight to his hand, as if to say “DAD! Shut it! I’m here!”

“HA!” I yelped. “You felt THAT!” My face split into a grin and tears spilled over with no warning.

“I did… I… Wow… Oh my god!” Another kick stopped his speech. “I swear, everything she does… it all makes me cry!” Tears streamed down his face, dropping into the tub.

“Well, you’re a daddy,” I spoke softly, my voice cracking with my own emotion.

“I’m a daddy,” he whispered.

“Now you’re really never going to take your hand off my stomach,” I smiled away my happy tears.

“Nope, never!” He straightened up. “Have you even washed yourself or have you just been enjoying the water?”

“Just enjoying the water,” I sighed contentedly, taking his free hand to place next to the one already on me.

“You’ll need to do that. I don’t want to hear any whining about tangled hair or being itchy from the water.”

“I will. As soon as you’re out of here,” I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

“OH, I’m not leaving!” His eyebrows lifted in a i-dare-you-to-tell-me-to-leave look.

“What? Then how am I supposed to wash myself?”

“Oh, don’t let me bother you. I’ll stay out of your way as best as I can!” With that, he grinned and abruptly barrel rolled over me, into the tub, landing between me and wall. Water sloshed out over the edge in a tsunami, soaking the rugs and bath mat.

“Christopher!” I yelped, trying to sit up.

“What?” He feigned innocence, then winked. “Like I said, don’t let me bother you… but I’ll wash your belly for you if you’d like.”

“Your clothes are soaked!”

“Uh… everything is soaked,” he nearly cackled, his hands still firmly on my round stomach. “Lucky for me, I’ve brought extra clothes!”

So there he stayed, while I drained the tub, stood and restarted the shower. I washed my hair and face, all while his hands stayed put. I poured soap into my loofah and eyed him, holding out the sponge, only to be met with a shake of his head and a laugh.

Once my entire body, minus my stomach, was clean, Chris took the loofah from me and began to wash my belly slowly, gently, almost as if I were made of glass.

“Can you still feel her moving?” I nearly whispered.

“I can,” he grinned, washing with the loofah as his free hand trailed behind it, never missing a spot or an opportunity to feel his little girl move.

“This has been simultaneously one of the weirdest and best days.”

“It’s only weird because you fell asleep on your desk,” he teased.

“Uh… and my baby daddy jumped into the tub with me, fully clothed,” I reminded him.

“Baby daddy,” he repeated in a sarcastic chuckle, scowling.

“Hey,” I called to him gently, blatantly ignoring his attempt at letting the moment pass. I lifted his chin with my fingers and felt my face twist in worry. “Hey…” I nearly cooed.

“It’s fine.” He shook his head from my hand and went back to washing.

“Not, it’s not. You’re not fine.”

“No… I’m not.” He stood and rinsed the loofah in the running shower behind me, one hand still on my soapy belly.

“Talk to me?” I nearly begged, standing on tip toe in an attempt to get eye level with him.

“I don’t want to fight.” His voice was low, pain dripping from every word, as he set about hanging the loofah, closing and putting away soap bottles, all one handed.

“I don’t either,” I was taken aback. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He’s tired of the baby daddy joke. Shit.

“Then we won’t.” He forced a smile and turned me away from him, to rinse the soap from my body. His hands moved as slowly and gently as before, with no hint as to how he was feeling.

“Chris, don’t…” I could barely get the words out. Would this be our first fight? Shit! “Please talk to me.”

“No, not right now. Not while you’re naked and we’re in the shower.”

“And you’re fully clothed in the shower?” I wasn’t sure if I meant it as a joke, to lighten the mood, or if I just didn’t know what to say. I knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say, when he recoiled from me, both of his hands coming off of my stomach.

“I said I don’t want to fight… not that I want to joke about it.” His body went rigid.

I spun around in his arms that still formed a barrier around me and reached for his face. He recoiled, again.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my hands falling to my sides. It didn’t seem appropriate to rest them on my stomach, no matter the fact that my stomach was still my body. It didn’t seem appropriate to put my hands where his had just been, in such joy.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His voice was hollow, his eyes filling with angry tears, where there had just been happy tears. “I don’t want this conversation to go like this. Not now, not here, not because I got angry. Not like this.”

“What conversation!?” I was suddenly terrified that my worst fears were coming true. Shit.

“Let’s get out of the shower,” he proclaimed, pulling the curtain aside calmly and stepping out.

I exhaled sharply, my hands flying to cover my mouth. I tried to hide the sob, to hold it in, but it broke through. I surrendered to the desperate crying that took over and looked down, placing my hands on my belly. No, no no no no. Did I just screw things up THAT bad, THAT fast?

“Chris?” I choked through the tears, frozen in the shower.

“Out of the shower, please?” He reached in, twisting off the tap and held out a bath sheet.

That fucking towel. THAT towel? That huge towel you bought for me when I complained that my belly got so big that I could barely get my towel around me. That towel, that you surprised me with!? That’s the towel you’re going to hand to me right before you break up with me!?

I stood shaking, naked, wet and cold, staring into his eyes. I could read nothing. There was nothing.

“Y/N, please!” He thrust the towel towards me as a reminder of its presence. Yet, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t take the towel. Not THAT towel. Not any towel, from him. So I stood. He sighed in frustration and began to dry me off. Squeezing out my hair, gently pressing the terry cloth to my face, my neck, my breasts.

“Stop,” I pleaded through a sob. He continued, gently drying my arms and legs. He turned me from my shoulders, to face away from him, and dried my back and butt. I felt my body heave with emotion as he turned me back to face him. “Stop, please.”

“No,” his eyes stuck on my stomach. “I told you, I can’t do this with you naked, not here, not like this.” He took the towel to my stomach and gently dried my skin of every last drop of water.

“Chris!” I struggled to regain composure.

“Do you need lotion?” A single eyebrow raised on his face and I came undone.

“No, I don’t need lotion! I can’t do this, Chris! Don’t do this to me!” I sobbed, covering my face.

“You can’t DO this?” He nearly yelled, standing up. “What does that mean!?”

“I don’t need lotion! I need YOU!” I wailed now, with no care in the world of the fact that I was naked, no care of who heard me. I couldn’t do this.

“You need ME?” He nearly bellowed the words. “You NEED me? Then why can’t you do this!?”

“What!?” I cried out, nearly in physical pain from the emotion. “Yes, I need you! I love you! You are the father of my child! I need you! Why are you leaving me!? Over a joke!?” I was angry now, ripping the towel from him and throwing it on the ground. I eyed the linen closet, intent on getting myself a different towel.

“It’s not a joke!” He shouted back. I flinched away from his anger, startled and covered my chest with my hands and arms. His face softened and bent to pick up the towel, whispering with a shake of his head “It’s not a joke. It hurts.”

“So why didn’t you tell me? Instead you’re just going to break up with me? You’re going to leave me… you’re going to leave her!?” My hand went protectively to my stomach, forgoing my modesty.

“I’m not breaking up with you!” His face broke into a million emotions. “Why would you think that!? I promised you I’m not going anywhere! WHY would you think I’m breaking up with you?”

“You’re not… you’re… not?” I gasped for air. “I… you’re NOT!?”

“I’m not…” he stepped towards me cautiously and when I didn’t move away, he wrapped the towel around my shoulders.

“You’re not,” I shivered into the towel, feeling my body ready to give way. “I don’t understand… you said this conversation… and… you… you went so cold!” My breath quickened again, my heart racing.

“I just meant about us… about where we are and where we’re going and… I didn’t want to pose it as I’m tired of being called the baby daddy, no matter how much that hurts… I wanted to just have a conversation about our relationship.”

“I didn’t know it was hurting you,” I nearly whispered, holding back tears. “I really didn’t know. I’m sorry, Chris. I’m so sorry.” I gave in as he pulled me to his chest, sobbing into his already soaked shirt. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, please. Please, don’t. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I should have said something sooner. I realized that after I talked to my mom about it and…”

“You talked to your MOM about it!?” I cut him off.

“I talk to my mom about everything, honey… I… ” he trailed off, realizing his mistake.

“So, something that I was doing was hurting you… and I had NO idea… and instead of telling me that I’m hurting you… you tell your MOM that I’m hurting you!?” I was officially hysterical. Hormones be damned, I was angry and sad, furious and broken. Have I really failed him that much as a… a what? A girlfriend? A lover? A… baby mama? Damnit, that word really does hurt!

“I realize now how stupid that was… and I’m sorry.” He pulled me out to arm’s length and crouched to see eye to eye. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this got so bad.”

“She must hate me now!” I whispered, leading into screeching “Oh my god, she must HATE me! Chris!!! I’ll never be able to look her in the eye again!” I threw my face into his chest again.

“She doesn’t hate you. I promise.” He rubbed circles on my back, shushing me. “She told me to talk to you about it, that I was making a bigger deal out of it that it really was.”

“Not if I was hurting you! I don’t ever want to hurt you!” I mumbled into his chest, then pushed off to stare him down. “Damnit Chris! Your FACE, when I said it in the shower! I thought that was it, that we were done!”

“We are not done,” he reassured me.

“But you can’t DO that! You can’t let things get that bad, without talking to me!”

“I won’t. Never again. I promise!” He cupped my face in his hands, caressing my cheek.

“This sucked,” I began to cry again. “Now we can’t ever talk about where we are, without it being tainted by this… this…” I motioned at the shower and let my hand fall back to my side, pressing my forehead to his chest.

“It really did suck,” he sighed the words out, cracking with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” I couldn’t stop the tears.

“Can we try to talk though? Can you put some clothes on and stop distracting me with your naked body, so we can really talk about it?” I felt his impish smile against my head and couldn’t keep a straight face, even through the tears.

“You’re a brat!” I laughed, wiping my face.

“Your brat,” he grinned, drying his own eyes.

“Yes, my brat. Is that what you want me to call you?” I pressed my lips together, fighting a smile.

“Staaaaahp!” He threw his head back, his weight on his heels and came back with a true smile. “Come on, naked lady! I want clothes on you for this conversation.”

Chris led me by the hand, to my bedroom. There I found two loads of laundry washed, dried and folded neatly on the bed. The bed was made, with fresh tulips in a vase on the nightstand, coupled with a cup of tea.

“I assume that was still hot, before you jumped in the tub?” I teased, motioning towards the clearly room temperature mug.

“That is was,” he nodded and led me to the cushioned bench at the foot of my bed. With swift determination of someone that knew exactly where I kept everything, he set to bringing me clean panties, a bralette, tank top and leggings. “Socks too?”

“No, no socks. Thank you.” I smiled, unwrapped myself from the towel and waited, knowing he would not allow me to dress myself.

“No fight over who puts your clothes on?” He smiled down at me.

“No, no more fighting.” I lifted my arms and let him dress me. Each article of clothing was punctuated with a sad, slow, desperate for affection, please don’t ever leave me, deep kiss.

I smiled and fought back tears until I was clothed. When all was said and done, Chris asked if I wanted to lie down.

“No… I was told I have to attend to my emails before I took a nap,” I joked, poking him with an elbow.

“I’d like to talk first?” He smiled, his easy going nature back in full force. I nodded pointedly in agreement, blowing all of the air from my lungs to clear my head.

“You are everything to me and everything to this tiny girl,” I peeked down at his hand, already on my stomach. “I will call you… or not call you… anything you want. I don’t ever want to go through what just happened, ever again.”

“I think you took the words right out of my mouth,” he smiled. “But… before marriage and between dating… there is exclusivity, which usually means calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend…”

“Seriously? You think we’re not exclusive? I know I’m not seeing anyone else… and if you are, I swear to god, Chris…”

“I’m not!” He chuckled, moving his hand to gently cover my mouth. “I’d just like to call you my girlfriend and for you to call me your boyfriend, because I feel like that is the last step before being engaged.”

“I’m not ready to be engaged…” my eyes went wide at the thought and I grabbed at his hand.

“I know you’re not and that is fine. If you are not ready, then I am not ready.” He took my hands in his and squeezed. “I hope I know when you’re ready though… because I want to surprise you. I don’t want it to be a conversation that ends in a decision. Is that selfish?”

“Not at all,” my eyes squinted nearly shut with my smile. “I want to be surprised.”

“Ok… I think we are on the same page?” Those eyebrows, they danced with concern.

“So long as you don’t plan to ‘surprise’ me on Christmas or New Years,” I finger quoted the air and smiled.

“I do not. I promise. No major holiday proposals.” He kissed my knuckles and laid our hands together on my stomach. “And I promise that if something is hurting me or bothering me, I will talk to you about it first.”

“Unless it’s someone else bothering you,” I joked.

“Even if it’s someone else,” Chris smiled and shook his head. “It’s you that I should be going to for help. You are the number one woman in my life. My mom is my mom and I love that woman to death, but this… this is my forever and I need to treat it as such.”

“Don’t tell your mom that!” I giggled at my own joke.

“Ha… well… she knows. We’ve been betrothed since I was six, if you remember,” his smile went crooked as he cocked an eye at me.

“I love you,” I whispered, dropping my eyes to my hands.

“I love you,” he tipped my head up with his finger tips to kiss me gently. I smiled into his kiss at the groan of relief he emitted.

“No moaning!”

“That was a groan,” he insisted quickly, then slid his hand behind my neck to pull me in for a deeper kiss. My voice betrayed me and Chris chuckled. “That was a moan!”

“Do it again,” I quietly begged. And he did. Again and again, each kiss more feverish than the other.

“Why did I even get you dressed!?” he mumbled against my mouth, fumbling with my tank top in an effort to pull it over my head.

“Because I was distracting you with my naked body!” I slid my hands under his shirt, eliciting a true moan from the man before me.

“Distract me again,” he begged. So I did, first removing his grey thermal shirt, then assisting with my own shirt. His eyes went wide at the sight of my chest, nearly bare to him in the lace bralette. “I swear they grow by the second.”

“And get more sensitive,” I pouted.

Chris’ face feigned surprised innocence as he sat back on his heels, drawing a hand to trace the edge of my bra. His eyes met mine in question and I whimpered in response. I knew what he wanted to do. I wanted it too, more than I could describe, but feared for the possible pain.

I was not prepared for the searing pleasure as Chris pulled the fabric aside and took my breast into his mouth. With my gasp as an answer to his unasked question, he continued with fervor. As his right hand cupped my breast, his free hand was left to explore and explore he did, until neither of us could take the wait any longer. Our clothes were nearly ripped apart in the sudden fever of desire. We tangled to the floor, our bodies a writhing heap of passion. I cried out with each climax of pleasure rolling into the next, lost in a daze of lust until Chris met his end, roaring out his euphoria like I had never heard him before.

There we laid, panting and gasping for air, on the floor beside my bed. “Was that make up sex?” Chris mumbled, tucking a tendril of hair behind my hear.

“I think so,” I huffed, still regaining my breath.

“You ok?”

“Yep, just… I had no idea an orgasm included uterine cramps until my uterus got so dang big!” I shifted my weight, away from Chris, turning to my back.

“Cramps? Not like, contractions, right?” He was up on his elbow, peering down in concern.

“No… not real ones I don’t think. They’re just… tight. Really tight.”

“But no pain…” his hand went to my belly, sending those eyebrows up in Surprise. “Wow, that’s… that’s firm.”

“Right?” I laughed away the discomfort. “But no, no pain.”

“Good.” He pecked a kiss to my forehead. “We don’t have time for a hospital visit today.”

“Uh… ok. I didn’t really want to go anyway?”

“Liz should be here any minute… unless she’s already here…” He trailed off, sneaking a look over the bed, out the window, to the back yard.

“What!?” I yelped, struggling with my attempt to leap up into action.

“Slow down lady, you’ll hurt yourself,” he grunted as he got himself upright. “C’mon,” he rolled his extended hand towards me. “I doubt she heard us anyway.”

Our clothes were collected, mine being put back on after a trip to the toilet, and Chris’ hung over the shower curtain rod to dry. All the while, my eyes were leveled at him in judgement.

“What?” He chuckled, avoid my glare by carefully selecting a clean shirt from the dresser.

“You knew. You brat.”

“Maybe I did,” he pulled a black t-shirt over his head and grinned when his face reappeared.

“You DID!”

“I did,” he giggled to himself, slipping on a pair of khaki colored jeans. With his zipper and button in place, he strode over and held my face in his hands. “Are you mad?”

“No…” I smirked. “It’s fine, it wouldn’t be the first time she heard me with someone.”

“What!?” Shock streaked across his face. “Are you serious?”

“No, you crazy man! I just had to get you back!”

“Oh thank god,” he pulled me in for a hug. “Because you know there were NO men before me.”

“Of course not,” I giggled.

“Promise you’re not mad?”

“About Liz hearing us? No. But, let’s try to not ever do that again. Ok?” I spied Liz emerging from the studio, through the window.

“Ok,” he smiled with his cheek against my head before noticing Liz and promptly erupted into a fit of giggles.

[oathofmaestro]

morningstar -- a thor fic;; [1/?]

(( style/rating: blasphemic, filthy, allconsuming ))

suggested song: closer - nine inch nails

word count: 2,175

tw: noncon/dubcon - mentions of demons - blood - gore - stockholm syndrome - bodily fluids // dark!slightlydemonic!Thor x fem!reader // this is filthy smut with a bit of plot, so there may be a chance for this to become a story in the future or at least a two parter before the challenge ends as this is for @waiting4inspiration ‘s writing challenge. thanks for hosting, i had way too much fun with this one! ****please remember to read  the trigger warnings!!! they are there for your protection!!!****

m/n: i’m only here to make you feel good. conducting symphonies is my speciality; for this piece, i have chosen to go dark!, so please keep that in mind when (listening) to this particular symphony. should you read this and have a request, feel free to inbox me, I would love to turn your thoughts into a masterpiece. from me to you, i wish you many happy days, and please enjoy the concerto below.

until next time,

( MAESTRO )

—–

Eyes snapping open, chest heaving; a dream interrupted as Thor breathed in and he could smell it; 

Copper pennies, the strongest of metals – it did not matter because the scent all but walked up and slapped him before settling like the thickest fog, a fog he was getting lost in.

Your blood was calling to Thor, and it had arisen the nasty demon that slumbered within him. Thor could feel it pulling at his senses as he lay next to you, watching you writhe uncomfortably, the beginnings of three days of pure hell for you –

The stairway to heaven for him.

Wordlessly, he nosed his way along your neck as you slept, a soft moan falling from your lips as your body responded to him, despite being unconscious. Your veins were thick and pumping and he could feel himself getting hotter as he did so, his own pupils slowly going lust blown and darker as he pressed a kiss to your jugular.

The God of Thunder.

He knew his title and he knew it well, for it was what had initially attracted you after all, as someone who worked for Stark Industries and had managed to stick around way longer than the others. You somehow made your way onto the team at the Avengers compound, and Thor had taken an interest in you, for you were brainy, as well as being beautiful and a touch too pure. 

He wanted to break you, he did. Had decided that for himself when he’d seen your smiling face and watched your actions with the team, how you were natural with them, but very shy with him – o’ did he know then that he would take you for his own.

The God of Lightning. 

Another role he played, but one that he coveted, just as he did you. There were days where you would be with him and would feel his hum, his static, and would be almost adrift in your arousal, which is how he preferred you – his cat in heat. Thor relished in taking you apart and he did so meticulously, wearing you down until you went from the confident woman you had been, to the mewling mess he had made you into. He would never let you know that he had methodically groomed you to want only him, but it had worked in his favour so deliciously.

The God of Strength. 

It took three months, but he had finally decided to bed you after seeing you grow close to Steve and not being able to bear the thought. So, he had taken you in the dead of night from your home, though this had been planned from the start. Thor displayed his strength as he knew who had the upper hand in this arrangement and knew keeping you close was the only way to control a being that could not say no anymore. 

You fought him for the first few days, avoiding his advances and attempting to escape his loft; until he took you by force, his cock twitching along your warm walls as he fucked you slow and deep, eyes searching yours and resonating within the confines of your soul – like he knew y o u , despite the pain and the hurt, and everything else – and you wondered why you felt the heat in your stomach bloom so exquisitely, so completely, that your shame fell upon your cheeks like rain. 

Your complacency was what he needed, and he delighted in knowing he had conquered you, that you had completely submitted to his will. He fucked you until you cried out for him, until your legs quaked and you were unable to move, throat raw as you thanked him for giving his cock to you – why did you thank him? – and the job was done. 

You stayed, and you questioned why every time he lathed his tongue along your folds, or tongued circles in to your heat, tasting the tart and youth that you brought to his life, and you panted, lusted for it, even. With every sparred glance he gave you after that, you craved him, and that didn’t make sense to you, but you knew it felt right, even though it was wrong; but, you were jumbled now, up was now down, morality had left you… and, Thor knew. Boy, did he know.

The God of Fertility.

You smelled like ambrosia, an elixir that could cure him, and he could feel the demon in him rising up to taste just how pure you really were. His cock strained in his boxers as he withdrew from your sleeping form to gaze over you, feral now as he licked his lips. The idea of tasting your blood made his own boil quite hotly, and he leaned in to trail kisses down your chest, hands coming up and fingers poised to twist your nipples through your cotton sleeping shirt. 

Silently, he lifted the shirt as delicately as he could muster, and rounded his tongue along a pert nub before swallowing it softly between his lips. By now you had woken up with a gasp and had begun feeling the slight twinge of your cramps, as he too, could feel them radiating from your core. You would surely need to change and made a move to get up to do so before it stained the sheets, only to be pushed down and held in place.

“Thor? My stomach hurts, I have to get up –,” you began, only to be shushed, and you noted that his eyes looked like voids, pools of the blackest obsidian, and you were falling upwards into them.

“I’m going to make you feel better, minn dýrr,” he began and you widen your eyes at this, just as a crack of lightning sounded overhead. It had begun to rain, and you tore your gaze away from Thor’s to see the streaks hit the French windows that lead outside. Another pang hit you then and before you could speak, he was on you as if you were wounded prey – a gazelle on display to a hungry lion.

He pressed deeply into your stomach and you found yourself moaning at the sensation and became confused, though the pressure should have hurt, but instead you felt kept by it, raising you  immediately. The static hum of being near him, mixed with the fluttering of your heart at the close proximity had you nearly sobbing for any touch he permitted you, and he obliged as his hand trailed low and shifted into the soft material of the boyshorts that encases you from him. 

An audible groan left him as he swiped a finger through your growing slick and ichor and Thor circled your clit before slowly pulling down the panties with the other. Once in view, he latched onto your hooded pith and gathered enough of your sopping wet on his fingers to plunge deep into your gore, reaching your gspot easily. You gasped then, still slightly mortified that this was happening, that you could smell your own blood – but enjoying the feel of Thor’s fingers stretching you, the bloom inside of you opening up to him, all the same.

“I need you…” he trailed off, looking up to you with those blown out pupils, fingers working into you harder now. You had no words. His face was a mess, that beautiful golden beard of his tinged red, lips crusted slightly with your filth, and you knew that you should be appalled… that you should tell him to stop… but, when he licked his lips and brushed against that one spot you liked, you couldn’t stop your hands from crashing his face back into your soaking cunt.

“Fuck, Thor!” You breathed helplessly into the atmosphere as thunder boomed with lightning not far behind, guttural moans taking you as he lapped viciously at your impurity and it was seconds before the fingers inside you hit that spot again and you were bucking underneath him, grinding out your high on his face. Your body went limp and you sighed happily, your hands stilling in the gods hair. 

“Your taste is divine, minn dýrr…” he trailed off, and he began to rise a bit so that he could shrug out of the boxers he had on, not bothering to wipe his face of you. His cock fell free and it leaked copious amounts of precum onto your leg where Thor hovered over you, and you cursed softly about not being able to catch it, to which he heard you and smiled. He fisted himself and positioned right at your quivering pussy, using the head of his cock to smear your slick along, earning a sharp moan from you once he pressed the head slowly into you. 

…"Can you be a good girl and make me feel better ? I really do need you,“ he began and you nodded vigorously and relished at the name he called you, exalted, hungry and now completely enthralled with the idea of Thor fucking you through the pain, through this taboo you shared together. You ground your hips into his, blood staining along his flesh and be growled at your display, his own snapping forward to collide with you, now sunk deeply into the hilt.

You exploded. 

The very fiber of your being built too quickly and you cried softly as he bottomed out – the sensation of the vibrations from his groans that were too much and enough all at once, becoming the only feeling you could readily identify. 

You came hard, and as he slid out of you just so before slamming himself back in, the action sent you subtle bouts of electricity through your veins. You were on fire, even more so as you looked up at Thor, this mess of a dark angel that looked over you, blood around his mouth, eyes squeezed tight; was disheveled and beautiful simultaneously and you prayed to him silently that this was would never end; milking his cock within you, wanting every last piece of Thor for yourself. 

At last, you were his.

Every tug of him inside your wet heat felt like paradise unleashed, and when Thor pulled a hand up to put pressure on your stomach again, you hollered loudly at the feeling, the sounds of your overly went cunt and skin slapping enough to build those feelings of contentment within you once more. Thor was coaxing you, cooing gently in contrast to his hips cracking into yours forcefully. 

He was close and so were you as you reached up to run your hands along his body and up to his face, swiping at the gore around his mouth to press it to your own lips. Thor gasped then and suddenly he was on you, frantically capturing your lips with his, for you had broken the seal; he felt the dam break within as you clench around him and you tasted yourself and the ichor for the first time; a new world, indeed.

The God of Hallowing.  

You came together, blood and sweat mixed with thick ropes of seed that painted your walls and shot against your cervix, and you took him for all that he was worth, just the way Thor liked it. 

You fell back to sleep immediately, the sound of the rain lulling you, cum still leaking out of you and down your thighs, which Thor watched with renewed interest. It was filthy to the point where he wondered if he had ever been someone who consecrated places as holy, when he had done his worst to make sure that you were anything but. 

He reminded himself that you were his to destroy, his to devour, his to consume -- tonight being evidence of how you always would be. 

As far as Thor was concerned, he was the only god who could give you any type of mercy, and it could only be in his own way; by desecrating the very essence of you until you became undone, untethered, and as corrupt as he. 

Awake, arise and be forever fall’n.

Hallelujah.

[youhearstatic]

Cor’s Adventure Zone Writing

Longer Fics - solo

Chrysanthemums (Lovesick) - A Blupjeans hanahaki fic.

Barry Bluejeans knows what’s happening the moment the first petal appears.

And he knows how it will end.

Losing Time - (Set after Story and Song) After being missing for three days, Barry has been mysteriously de-aged. Now he looks 20 years old and doesn’t remember anyone. Lup, Kravitz, and Taako are trying to figure things out. 

Also on tumblr: Part One  | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen

Losing Time “Exit Interview” (10 fanfic questions answered about Losing Time. Includes a lot of behind the scenes and extended explanations.)

It’s About Time - This is a love letter to Barry Bluejeans of sorts: the whole campaign of The Adventure Zone: Balance (and then some) told from Barry’s point of view. (Part of ‘All the Time in the Worlds’ series, this fic covers their Stolen Century from Barry’s POV.)

It’s About Time “Exit Interview” (10 fanfic questions answered about the fic. Includes a lot of behind the scenes and extended explanations.)

Time After Time - With Lup missing and he and Taako unable to find any sign of her, Barry Bluejeans had thought things couldn’t get any worse.

He was wrong. Now he’s completely alone, on the run, hoping to find a way to fix everything and reunite his family.

These are Barry’s voidfished years, his years without Lup, his years forced to play the villain.

(Part of ‘All the Time in the Worlds’ series, this fic covers the Faerun part of the podcast from Barry’s POV. Updates on Fridays.)

Bluejeans, Boxers, and One Bed - A prompt that got out of hand, this is my contribution to the best mutual pining trope out there: There Was Only One Bed! 4500+ words of ridiculous pining with a side dish of underwear angst. Yup, it’s a thing.

Legato Solos - Before their song was ready, before their big performance, Barry and Lup spent their last few months consumed with thoughts of one another. (Rated Mature.)

Like Friendship Set Aflame - Barry has been searching for the perfect gifts for everyone. The problem isn’t finding something perfect for Lup. It’s that it’s too perfect. (Rated Explicit. Essentially? This is over 12k words of smut. )  

This necklace was incredibly and conspicuously expensive. There was no way to give it to her at the same time he gave Magnus nail polish and a silly stuffed animal. There was no way to not be obvious that he cared about her as more than just a crewmate. This was a piece of jewelry that said ‘I have been painfully in love with you for decades and will continue to be for as long as I exist’ and said it in big, shouty letters.

This necklace was overt. Undisguised.

This necklace was a declaration.

Like Friendship Set Aflame “Exit Interview” (10 fanfic questions answered about the fic. Includes a lot of behind the scenes and extended explanations.)

A Thousand Tiny Moments - Before being chosen for the Starblaster crew, Lup meets someone at a party. It doesn’t go well. (Part of the ‘All the Time in the Worlds’ Series, this is the Lup POV companion fic to It’s About Time. 14k words)

She drifts closer to him and slowly, so slowly, she bends her head to his. She pauses inches away, not yet touching but so close they share breath. Her hand slides along the lapel of his jacket and she feels his chest rise as he breathes in.

She looks at his mouth and thinks this is the last moment before I kiss him. It’s as inevitable as his chest falling beneath her hand as he exhales. So she kisses him. His lips are warm and soft against hers with the rich sting of alcohol painted on both their mouths.

The Lup POV minific that became A Thousand Tiny Moments

A Thousand Tiny Moments “Exit Interview” (10 fanfic questions answered about ATTM. Includes a lot of behind the scenes and extended explanations.)

Longer Fics - colabs

Wild Dragon Chase - Having spotted the same distinctive looking dragon several times and in several different planar systems, Lup is ready to force a meeting. A dragon on their side against the Hunger would be a tremendous advantage.

Barry Bluejeans has kept his true nature a secret for half a millennia. He’s been alone since the rest of his flight died trying to defend the town they were the protectors of. That’s a difficult life for a crystal dragon who hoards sentimental and emotional bonds the way other flights hoard gold or relics. Can he risk his secret when half the crew despise dragons? (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic) 

Also, here’s a quick scene that would take place about two weeks after the events of Wild Dragon Chase, a conversation between Taako and Lup about her and the dragon.

A Single Slat of Wood and Canvas - After months of training, Lup fails to bring in her first solo reaper contract. She won’t tell anyone exactly what happened, even Barry. (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic)

Barry woke with a start. His hand reached for the other side of the bed before he even knew who or where he was.

“Lup?” he asked the empty room.

Her side of the bed was cold. Barry was up and fumbling for his glasses in an instant, his heart pounding.

Made Before the Voidfish (Broken by a Voidfish) - For months Lup, Magnus, and Merle have been haunted by the presence of the ‘red robe’. Often showing up after their adventures to offer cryptic and usually unhelpful warnings and advice. Shortly after the events at Refuge, Lup hatches a plan to finally pin this incomprehensible creature down and get the answers to the questions burning inside her. [TwinSwap AU 1.0]  (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic)

Lup heard her own voice twist into a burst of static. She couldn’t remember what she had just said or hold it in her brain, but her mouth knew the words. She bent over, a lance of pain shooting through her head. It hurt so much, but she was so close to something she just had to keep going.

More static. It was like something was stealing the words away from her. She tried to claw them back, but they just would not stay in. It was like vomiting, but with words that she couldn’t hear.

Lust is a Thing with Fangs - Lup tries to sneak in one more day of laboratory work before her annual heat cycle kicks in. Barry is there. It goes about how you would expect. (Explicit content.) (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic)

Lup paused at the door to the lab. She stood up straight, wrapping herself in dignity and ignoring her heart pounding in her chest like a jackhammer. It would be fine. It was only Barry. He would be way too focused on his work to notice her trembling, or the fact she was flushed from the tips of her ears to her toes.

Lup licked her lips. She suddenly had the strangest feeling. Like part of her had come to a revelation about something and another was frantically trying to muffle it before it could be brought to her attention.

A Night at The Naughty Kitten - Out of options after the Starblaster hastily relocated without them, Lup and Barry spend the night at a “boutique” “short stay” hotel.

There’s only one bed, but that’s the least of anyone’s problems. (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic)

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It wasn’t the first time she’d ended up like this, but every time Lup wondered if it would be the one to break her. He wanted her so badly. Lup didn’t understand how she was supposed to handle seeing it so clearly on his face on top of her own longing.

Sandworms and Other Concerns - Barry discovers that Lup’s presence can improve any situation, including having his arm torn off by a fifty-foot-long, carnivorous, burrowing, acid-spitting, hook-toothed, pinstriped Sandworm. (By @tanger-catnip & @youhearstatic - Also on AO3.) {Hey guys, just to let you know: The sandworm is all in the title. This is Hurt/Comfort wrapped in Fluff. Angst levels are at absolute minimum!}

Short Fics

Barry & Lup:

Lup watches Barry Sleep - Post S&S

Ghosts of Candlenights Past, Echoes of Candlenights Future - Barry feeling sad about the holiday and not realizing just how close he is to having what he always wanted.

Morning in Bed - Lup and Barry just cuddling and being in love. Prompt Request.

It’s Cold Outside But You’re Warm - Lup and Barry mutual pining. Prompt Request.

Strings - Lup and Barry just performed their song. Lup has a few final doubts.

What If She’s Just Gone? - Barry’s anxieties get away from him when Lup is missing. Prompt request.

Will You Marry Me - Barry does what he has to. Prompt Request.

Reactions - The twins deal with Barry being ill. Prompt Request.

Curse and Canyon - Barry is hurt. Lup is trying to deal. Prompt Request.

Take a Picture - Lup is frustrated. Prompt request.

Your Laugh is so Adorable - Lup does some reluctant pining. Prompt request.

Don’t Touch Me - Barry and Lup short experimental piece.

Gathering - Taako plans a party. Prompt request.

It was the Pottery - Taako teasing Barry. Prompt request.

Super Short & Cutesy - Barry and Lup in the lab. Prompt request.

What You Did Was Stupid - Barry and Lup on Tesseralia. Prompt request.

This One is Really Dark - You’ve been warned. Prompt request.

Let Me Help You - Prompt request for Barry & Lup.

You Don’t Have to Act Like You’re Okay - Prompt request for Barry and Lup.

Pride - Prompt based minific of Lup coming to Barry’s rescue at a Pride event.

Hotel Balcony - A prompt based modern meet-cute for Barry and Lup.

Hotel Balcony Pt 2 - Hey look, there’s more!

Contradictions - Test minific/opener for the Barry POV fic.

Lup and Barry switch - Lup is the one that falls from the Starblaster, taking Taako with her.

At the Wedding - Barry and Lup at Carey and Killian’s wedding. Quick scene inspired by a post.

True Seeing - Barry in a voidfished body with a group of adventurers. Short group write piece.

TazDelightful’s personality swap - A short piece with Taako and Evocation Specialist Barry talking, the echo of their beach discussion in an AU where Barry is the rowdy flame mage and Lup is the nerdy science officer.

Whumptober Prompts: A set of prompts for October 2019, all focused on angst and “whump.” Despite the focus, many of them do still have happy endings or at least, given the nature of Stolen Century, imply an eventual happy ending, since they still fit roughly within canon.

First fourteen prompts - The first fourteen days of prompts were strung together into a single story. Links at the bottom will lead through the story. This is a sort of general angst piece that delves into sci fi magical realism. 

Breathless - Lup wakes up alone. Set post S&S.

Pinned Down - Barry and Lup encounter a problem trying to get across a battlefield to return to the Starblaster.

Stay With Me - Once again, fate keeps them from having a certain conversation.

Bound - Barry dies again. This might be his worst one yet.

Asphyxiation - Lup is nervous about getting in a body again after so long being noncorporeal.

Trembling - Lup and Barry and a few, final minutes.

Laced Drink - A poisoned drink makes Lup reassess priorities.

Hallucination - Barry wakes up sure a terrible situation is happening again.

Other Short TAZ Pieces:

Love is Dead - Taakitz Soulmate/Soulmark AU with Blupjeans background. Also on AO3.

Just Like the Movies - Taakitz first Candlenights. Also on AO3.

Getting Home - Super short Magnulia prompt

Second Chances - When Lucretia gets the second void fish she realizes she can inoculate Davenport and talk to him.

Just You and Me - JohnChurch prompt request.

Karma is a Bitch/What Did You Say? - Taako & Barry’s friendship prompt request.

Can You Keep a Secret? - Taako & Barry’s friendship prompt request.

What if the Stones of Farspeech hadn’t been confiscated? - THB and others develop a friendship with the mystery contacts in their stones. Short group write piece.

Meta, Etc

Headcanons:

[The Twins | Taako & Lup]

[The Lover | Barry]

[The Protector | Magnus]

[The Lonely Journal Keeper | Lucretia | The Director]

[The Peacemaker | Merle]

[The Wordless One | Davenport]

[Kravitz]

[Miscellaneous]

Meta:

Lucretia and the Red Robes (Pt 1) Lucretia and the Red Robes (Pt 2)

A list of every conversation Lucretia has with the boys about the Red Robes and a discussion of her thought process/intentions. Part 2 focuses specifically on how her words in Ep 59 may have influenced Magnus’s decisions going forward.

Murder or Suicide: What is it when lich!Barry sets up his living!Barry body to die?

Other:

TAZ Balance Characters as WoW Classes

[headoverhiddles]

Irresistible - Cable x Reader [Smut]

Request: Reader and Cable can't stand each other, one always gets annoyed when the other speaks and they're both denying their feelings for one another, but one day she's watching him workout, sweat gliding down his muscles and realizes how much she wants him? They start fighting about smth stupid and to shut her up, he kisses her and then they fuck right there?

(I think this gif actually accurately represents the fic for once) 

Name: Nathan Summers. Alias: Cable. Superpower: being the most annoying dickbag you've ever met.

 And that's saying a lot. You've met Wade.

"Someone on your mind?" your friend says, and you frown at the merc as he sits down next to you.

"Don't you mean something?"

"No, I mean someone," Wade nods, and you groan.

"He's just so fucking irritating."

"He can't help it, he was born that way."

You huff, and lounge back. "Well, I wish he'd take his negativity and fuck off."

"Harsh," Wade says, "I don't know, I don't mind having a hot daddy like him around for eye candy." You scowl.

"That's literally the only reason you brought him back to live here, wasn't it?"

"I may have had one or two wet dreams about him that convinced me to keep him, yes."

You smirk. "You can have him. He's an asshole, and I hope I never see his face again."

"Doubtful, he's coming this way." Wade gets up. "Afternoon, handsome--"

"Shut it fuckface, I'm not in the mood," Cable growls as he walks by, and Wade bites his lip.

"Oh yeah, talk dirty to me." You watch Cable walk down the hall, and get up too.

"Hey, what's your problem, Nathan?"

He turns, and glares at you. "What's my problem?"

"Yeah!"

"My problem is you," he shoots back.

"Just because I borrowed one of your guns and accidentally self-destructed it, that doesn't warrant you being a complete fucking asshole to me!"

"No," Wade lifts a finger, "that warrants Colossus being a complete fucking asshole to you, since you blew up his room. He's very sad about it. I'm not, since he's sleeping in mine now."

Ignoring Wade, Nathan scowls at you. "Call me what you want, but you're still a meddling little bitch that needs to keep her nose where it belongs."

"Woah woah WOAH! Time out!" Wade calls, "Those are some strong motherfucking words!"

"Stop pretending you're some innocent little angel," Nathan gets very close to you, and you try to maintain your hard, defiant glare, "You're just as dangerous as the rest of us."

"Says the guy who tested the weapon I blew up on my favourite part of  the courtyard!"

"I'm sorry I destroyed your fucking rosebush, princess. Shoot me for it."

"Maybe I will!"

You two spend a few seconds glowering at each other, inches apart, when Wade starts swiping a kitana between you two.

"What the hell are you doing?" Nathan asks.

"Cutting through the sexual tension!" Wade shouts, and Nathan rolls his eyes with a growl, walking away. "Okay. I'm just gonna say it," Wade whispers to you, "That amount of loathing in his eyes means there's something going on there that he doesn't want to admit. I know, because I've seen it in many people's eyes while they look at me."

"I appreciate the therapy, Wade... but leave me alone," you grumble, watching the older mutant go up the stairs.

The next day, everyone in the mansion had gathered for a monthly X-Men meeting. Deadpool had been affronted by the name, saying it excluded his team, comprised of you, him, Domino, and Cable. Colossus had reminded him that it was by the good graces of him, Professor X, and the X-Men that you guys even had a home there. Wade had reminded him that's not how family worked. And that argument happened.

"Welcome everyone, to this month's X meeting," Colossus says, and Wade winked at him. "I will be running it today, as Professor Xavier is on leave. Are there any concerns anyone would like to bring up?"

"Yeah, I've got one," Ellie raises her hand, which is intertwined with Yukio’s so by proxy Yukio raises hers too,  "Tell Wade to quit eating all the fucking taco fixings."

Wade places a hand on his chest. "I have needs."

"You ate sixty taco shells in three nights, dipshit."

"So sue me Beiber, I like my tacos!"

"Perhaps you could eat ten tacos a night instead of twenty, Wade," Colossus cuts in, and Wade sits back.

"You drive a hard bargain. Okay, doable." Ellie rolls her eyes, and Quicksilver stands up.

"Uh yeah, I once walked in on Wade--"

"Are these all gonna be about me?!" Wade protests, "I mean I'm flattered, but guys."

"As a matter of curiosity... lower your hand if your complaint is regarding Wade," Colossus says, and all but one lower theirs. "Mr. Summers. You have a different concern?"

Nathan begins to speak, and you immediately groan at the sound of his voice. It's so low... and gravelly... and stupid. "Yeah I do," he says, "I think there's someone in this place that needs a real attitude check."

"I said a concern not about Wade," Colossus says.

"Not him," Nathan replies.

"Oh, come out and say it then!" you get up, fists shaking.

"Alright, I will. You're an obnoxious, selfish--"

"Stubborn, cold--" you cut in in retaliation.

"Stuck up, rude--"

"Grumpy, apathetic--!"

"Prissy little princess!" Nathan finishes.

"Stop calling me that," you growl.

"I will when you stop calling me an asshole."

Everyone around you two had fallen into an awkward silence. "Well," Colossus cleared his throat, "Now that that is settled... raise your hands once more to complain about Wade."

You head to the gym in the X-Mansion basement, clad in a pair of tight pink shorts that ride up your ass. They were too small for you, but they were comfortable, so screw it. Nobody would be down here this time of day, anyway.

Nathan drops down for his two hundredth push up, exhaling through his nose. He always came down here when it was deserted to have some alone time-- to think, and be in his own brain. Things were strange for him here in the past, and more than a little confusing. Not confusing because of outdated tech, or cues he wasn't accustomed to. His feelings toward a member of his team were what confused him.

He tries not to picture your face as he drops down for another set of thirty.

You have a serious mouth on you, and you always make a point to piss him off in any way you could-- he knew that. He did his best to retaliate, but at the end of the day, he couldn't get you off his mind. How could someone be so infuriating, yet so fucking sexy?

You stretch your arm above your head as you enter the gym, heading for the treadmills. You have a lot of pent up energy from last night, after the meeting-- Nathan had been on your mind, and though you ached for it, you refused to touch yourself while thinking of him. The bastard didn't deserve it, even if he never found out.

"Shit."

You stop dead as you hear the deep voice behind you. "No," you breathe, and turn. "You are not in here too."

"Well you don't own the gym," Nathan mutters. He's just as irritated as you are.

"Neither do you," you retort.

"Good. You head over to your side, I'll stay on mine."

"Finally, a good idea," you huff, and set your water bottle down. Getting on the treadmill, you do a couple more stretches before you hit start.

Don't look at her, Summers. Don't do it.

He glances over to you, and sees you bending over, stretching your legs in booty shorts far too tight. He can see the top of your thong poking out along your lower back, and he bites his lip, forcing himself to look away. Damn tease.

You roll your eyes as you hear him get up and start lifting weights. Fucking show off. Refusing to indulge his ego by peering over your shoulder, you start the treadmill, running at a jog as you put your earphones in and set your playlist to shuffle.

"Guys My Age" by Hey Violet comes on.

Skip.

"Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna.

SkipSkipSkip.

"Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry. 

Skiiiip.

"Irresistible" by Fall Out Boy.

One more, swear to god...

"Fuck You Like An Animal" by Nine Inch Nails.

FUCK OFF.

You take your earphones out with a frustrated growl, and do twenty minutes of a run. This only serves to have the opposite effect on you than you had hoped-- where you wanted to burn some energy, you just riled yourself up even more.

Moving on to pilates, you start a set of sit ups, trying to ignore the fact that Nathan is still working with weightlifting on the other side of the gym. He's moved up to 100 pound weights...

Starting some crunches, you feel the burn in your abs move down to your lower stomach, your pussy involuntarily clenching. The way his muscles are flexing every time he brings those up against his chest... your eyes slide down, and see the beginnings of an erection from the exercise. Fuck, and his metal arm is glinting, the same silver as his undercut. That thing must be so god damn strong. You start to imagine those metal fingers around your neck, tightening as he holds you against the wall--

"See something you like?" he asks gruffly.

"I-I wasn't looking at you," you quickly snap.

"No? Cause I was just watching you in the mirror, and it seemed to me like you were drooling as your legs fell right open for me."

"Oh, so you were watching me?!" you say, and Nathan suddenly gets all flushed.

"I..."

You jump to your feet, crossing your arms. Sweat is rolling down his back and biceps as he sets his weights down, and you clench your jaw. He's so fucking ripped. He scowls, approaching you too. It seems that you two are at another impasse.

"So. It looks like we can't even share a gym after all," you growl. His breath is so close to you, you can feel it reach your neck.

"I was doing pretty well, before you started giving me fuck-me eyes."

"I wasn't even looking at you, you prick!"

"But you were looking at my body." His eyes run down to your heaving chest, down your figure. "Fucking cock tease."

"I was just working out, in comfortable clothing," you say weakly.

"Fair. But you got me interested," he murmurs, and you try to frown.

"You... you are such a jerk..."

"And you're a mouthy little girl," he takes a step closer angrily. You bite your lip, chewing hard. "You really need to learn some--"

You surge forward, and shut Nathan up with your lips. He's surprised at first, but once you have your tongue in his mouth and loop your arms around his neck, he reciprocates with fervor.

"Fuck me harder than you've fucked anyone," you whisper breathlessly, and his eyelids flutter.

"Jesus," he moans softly, and just lets go. He picks you up so that your legs wrap around his back, resting just above his ass. He then sets you down against the mirrors, pressing your breasts against it with his hard chest at your back. "How bad do you want it?" he whispers, grabbing two handfuls of your ass and kneading it shamelessly.

"So fucking bad," you moan, wiggling your ass back. Your pussy is clenching hard now, panties soaked through, and Nathan moves his human hand down between your legs, feeling your slick.

"You're seriously wet getting touched by the asshole you've been mouthing off to all year?" he rasps.

"I only mouth off when I want someone," you breathe.

His eyes flicker down to your lips. "Me too." He then captures your lips, kissing you roughly, then flips you back around so the cold mirror perks your nipples. He grips your wrists together behind your back so your hands are useless, and pulls your shorts down along with the thong. "What a pretty little cunt."

"Shut up, shut up and fuck me already!"

He parts your legs, rubbing up your inner thigh, then pulls down his sweatpants, cock already hard. Wasting no more time teasing, he bends you at a good angle, and slams himself in.

"Fuck, oh god--" you yelp.

"How does that feel, sweetheart?" he asks, pounding back in.

"So good!"

"I've wanted to do this for weeks..." he grits out, feeling up your ass some more as he fucks you from behind.

"Ugh, jesus, don't stop..."

"Fuck, you're so good," he breathes, dizzying you with a deep, powerful thrust, and you struggle to touch yourself. His metal arm keeps you securely fastened against him, unable to touch-- so he runs his fingers down, rubbing circles around your clit.

"Oh-god," you gasp, pushing back against each thrust, "Nate, Nate--"

"Don't call me that."

"You're so good, oh Nate!"

He shakes his head. "You're unbelievable."

"I'm the best fuck you'll ever get-- ah!"

He chuckles, and continues to thrust hard, shutting you up. Soon, he can feel you squeezing him, and knows your climax is coming.

"Come on," he coaxes, the weight of his body pushing against yours sending you whimpering, "I know you need to come. Now drop that stupid act princess, and let me make you scream for me."

You moan, and all at once, you come hard on his cock. Once you're done, he turns you around again, staring deep into your eyes, and that's what he needs to finally get there. Pulling out, he jerks himself a few times before come spurts out onto the mirror in thick ropes. You watch, transfixed, and then look back up at the older man.

"You fuck good."

He regards your swollen lips, putting his thumb there and swiping across. "You taste good."

You catch your breath, and nod. "Therefore... I think we can come to some kind of agreement." He narrows his eyes.

"Wade's never gonna shut up if he finds out."

"Eh. He never shuts up anyway." You begin to smirk. "It was so hard for me to hate you."

"Yeah. Me too." He strokes his human hand against your face, but you take his metal one, bringing it up to your cheek. Your suspicions are confirmed as he flinches a little and blushes, and you hold the hand there.

"Hey," your expression softens, "I like you. All of you."

"I'm more machine than man. I've only got part of me left," he replies, looking down. You let his human hand fall down to rest on your hip, and snuggle into his metal one.

"That's not true. Now drop the stupid act, princess," you grin, slapping his ass, "You need a shower."

[dontshootmespence]

I Am Still Right Here

A/N: An anon request for a Hotch x Reader comfort fic based off the song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. I had this take place near the fifth anniversary of Haley’s death. He’s seeing the reader at this point, but she is well aware how difficult the anniversary is for him. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @lukeassmanalvez @yoinkpeter @rmmalta

Warnings: Self-harm

                                                              ----

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real

“Aaron, what happened?!” You ran out of the bathroom in a panic, hearing something crash down or into the wall you weren’t sure. After a bad day at work and the impending fifth anniversary of his ex-wife’s death at the hands of one of the worst serial killers he’d ever faced, you came home with him, hoping to keep his mind off things while Jack spent some time with his Aunt Jessica.  

The second you turned the corner you saw a whole in the wall. Then you saw Aaron clutching his hand and grimacing in pain, tears streaming down his face. “Aaron,” you whispered, closing the space between you to examine his hand. You wanted to ask what that was supposed to solve, but you didn’t at first. Testing out his joints, you examined him to make sure he was okay. Save for a few cuts and what would undoubtedly be a very nasty bruise, nothing looked broken, so you cleaned the blood off his hand and wrapped it in a bandage. “Babe, I’m so sorry.”

You sat on the kitchen counter and brought him closer to your body, his head resting on your shoulder as he continued to cry. Thank god Jack wasn’t home right now; there was nothing wrong with a boy seeing his father in a vulnerable state, but Aaron didn’t want his son to be privy to his occasional bouts of anger. Punching the wall had been a stupid decision, and he didn’t want Jack thinking that it was okay. 

“Why did you do that?” You finally asked. “What was that supposed to do?” It wasn’t condescending; it was just a way for you to get him to express what it was that brought him to make contact with the wall in such a manner that the plaster broke. 

With his uninjured hand, he guided you toward the couch. “I-I just get very...numb around this time of year. This has happened before. I do something that let’s me know I’m still alive, and maybe hurts me, hopefully it does anyway. It’s my penance. I miss her. It was my fault.”

He’d told you the story before. “Listen to me,” you said forcefully. “It was not your fault. You weren’t the one with the gun. He was. He chose to do what he did. That is not on you, that’s on him, and he’s six feet under.”

What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know Goes away in the end

“Everyone that I love either goes away or gets hurt because of me. You should leave before you get hurt to.” He was saying the words, but he made no motion to make you move or actually push you to leave. 

“Are you unhappy in this relationshIp?” You asked.

“No.”

“You said you loved me. Were you lying?” You hated that he was in so much pain that he didn’t think he deserved to have anyone close to him for fear of them getting hurt. 

“Of course not,” he replied. “I do love you.”

“Then I’m not leaving.”

“i just don’t want to hurt you. I love you too much for it to happen again.”

And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt

Turning to face him, you made sure his attention was fully on you before you continued. “Listen to me. What happened with Haley wasn’t your fault. I’m sure Spencer could give you the statistics about the likelihood of something like that happening again. I’m pretty sure there’s next to no chance, but that minuscule risk is a risk I take because I love you. I love you, Aaron Hotchner. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Aaron wrapped his uninjured hand around the back of your head, pulling you closer so he could kiss the top of your head. “I know. I’m sorry about this though.” He lifted his hand; it suddenly felt heavier. “It was stupid.”

“Yea,” you laughed softly. “But it’s done. And despite what you may think day in and day out, you still deserve to be loved.” You turned your head up to his, lightly kissing his chin before pressing another to his lips. “You aren’t the same person you were, but your stronger because of everything you’ve been through, and you have so many people that love you.”

Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here

Maybe he deserved you, maybe he didn’t. He still wasn’t sure, but he took your word for it, leaning his head against yours. “I guess I’m still here for a reason.”

“You are. For so many reasons.”

[sabraeal]

Honey in the Pot: Part 2

(Part 2 of my gift to @nebluus, because she is lovely and gets EXTRA LONG FIC)

Shirayuki’s been at Tanbarun for a year and change, but she can safely say she’s never been to Frat Row.

Until now.

It’s lit up tonight, all old Georgian-style homes that look like they belong in an Austen novel, if Austen novels had preppy frat boys playing beer pong on the front lawn. She expects it to be dingy and decrepit, houses sitting on cracked foundations with black mold creeping up under split siding, but every building is lovingly maintained, Greek letters shining gold in the street light.

Ah, right -- Tanbarun’s a private university. Their families probably pay for it down to the landscaping.

Kino swerves up to some empty curbing, tires grating along the side. She cuts the ignition and hops out easy enough, but Shirayuki pops open her door and bites back a whimper. She’s not anywhere near tall enough to get out of a high-sitting SUV with any dignity; she has to settle for half-slithering to the ground, her stomach giving a lurch as she drops herself down the last few inches. Her kitten heels wobble beneath her.

She barely gets a breath out before a blur drunkenly lurches across her vision, grabs the rearview mirror, and vomits into the gutter.

Shirayuki squeaks, shying away with her borrowed shoes.

“It’s only nine o’clock!” she tells him, alarmed.

He falls to his knees and groans.

Kino swings round the back of the car, tucking her keys into her purse. “C’mon let’s go.”

Shirayuki’s shifts on her feet, uncertain. “Shouldn’t we get him to a hospital? It’s really early for --”

“He probably pre-gamed.” Kino shrugs, what a shame. “He’ll be fine after like gallon of water and four advil.”

Shirayuki frowns. “That’s a really ill-advised amount of ibuprofen.”

“Well, he’s made some really ill-advised decisions tonight, so it all works out.” She slings her purse high up on her shoulder. “We should --”

“We should get him water --”

“I’m sure he has friends, Yuki.”

“What if he doesn’t --?”

Kino’s hand bands tightly around her elbow, hauling her away. “It’s not our problem.”

That doesn’t sit right -- he shouldn’t be left alone, and what sort of friends would let someone get sick? -- but in the end Kino pulls her away, and she lets her. She may not have wanted to go out, but she doesn’t want to spend her night with Kino talking some guy through dry heaves either.

Still, her mind is on him until Kino tugs on her elbow, setting their feet on one of the front walks. Shirayuki catches the golden letters a moment too late.

“Phi Sigma Pi?” she squeaks as they edge through the door, dodging past swaying men with Greek on their polos.

It’s so early, how can everyone be so drunk?

“Yeah, why not?” Kino grins, a fox at a chicken buffet. “It’s the honors frat, right?”

Shirayuki flounders, not sure what to say. It’s true after all, but --

Don’t go to their parties, girls would say in her freshman dorm. Watch your drink. Don’t go alone.

“Sure,” she says. After all, Kino must know more than her.

“Come on.” Kino grabs her elbow, lips curling in a smirk. “Let’s show you off.”

Shirayuki’s not sure what showing off entails really; dancing, maybe, or even having to talk to some of these guys, but --

But it certainly isn’t being parked at the keg, left to fend for herself while Kino talks up every guy that looks like he’s never met a pair of plaid shorts he couldn’t afford.

She’s not the sort of person who gets mad, not right away. But the minutes tick away, five turning to ten turning to thirty, her left watching as everyone else has fun and --

And it builds. She doesn’t want to be here; she wants to be home and alone and wearing clothes only fit for laundry day. The only reason she came was a chance to be with Kino; her stubborn crush had dragged her out heart-first, tripping over her feet like an eager puppy, whispering her that they might dance, might make each other laugh while they got tipsy over cocktails, might press close as they stumbled home, arms twined together --

But instead she’s been left like a dog at a kennel outside an amusement park.

Her cheeks flush, and Shirayuki finally screws up her courage. She stands up on her wobbly legs, getting her kitten heels beneath her, and marches over, intent on confrontation.

“Are you having a good time?” she says instead. She doesn’t even sound mad she just sounds -- curious.

“Oh, yeah,” Kino drawls, a corner of her mouth hooking up into a smirk. “The best.”

Shirayuki grits her teeth, stomach roiling. “Great.”

“You should find some guys to talk to too,” she tells her absently. “There’s plenty.”

“I don’t really --”

Kino grins as blond, broad-shouldered man returns, solo cup in hand. “Hey, is that for me?”

Shirayuki knows a dismissal when she hears one.

Maybe she’s just bitter, but there’s something wrong in how Kino is going through the frat like tissue.

She bats her eyes, hikes up her skirt a little, leans suggestively and cuts one from the herd. They chat for a bit, he offers a drink, and she just -- says yes. Doesn’t even insist on something closed, doesn’t even watch him get it, just smiles when they come back, pinches the rim between a thumbs and forefinger and --

Grimaces. Gets rid of boy. Rinse, repeat.

Her eyes narrow. Hmm.

Shirayuki catches her when one of the boys wanders away, sticking her finger in the drink.

“What are you doing?” she asks. Kino jumps, guilt etched on every line of her face.

“Ah, shit!” The girl shakes her head. “Listen, I can explain, it’s for the paper. We got tips that girls are getting spiked drinks at Phi Sigma Pi parties --”

Her eyes widen. “So you brought me here?”

“Hey, it’s not like I threw you to the wolves!” She nods toward her hands. “The nail polish. It turns black when it comes in contact with rohypnol and GHB.” She tips back her head with an aggravated sigh. “Not like it matters; no one is taking the bait.”

Her hands fist at her side. She’s shaking. She hasn’t been this angry since, since --

“You didn’t tell me that’s what the polish was for.”

Kino blinks, eyebrows headed toward her hairline. “You’re not mad are you? I wasn’t going to –”

“Let someone rape me?” If she could breathe steam, she would. This isn’t a good time to have a conversation. “I think I just need to – go outside.”

“Yuki --”

She stops, back to her, “I’ll come get you when I want to leave.”

The night is cool enough, though it doesn’t do anything to chill her temper.

Shirayuki tucks herself into one of the adirondack chairs on the back deck; strangely one of the few place devoid of people. All the games are set up on the front lawn, and the dancing inside, so the back is empty save for a couple of girls finishing up a cigarette.

They see her and their conversation halts, expectant. One raises her eyebrows, smoke curling up from between her fingers. She doesn’t tap her foot, but it’s implied.

It’s the sort of thing that on any other night would send her scrambling off with an apology, but tonight, tonight --

She tucks her legs underneath her, stretches, gets comfy. They can feel free to move her themselves, if they feel so strongly about it.

The girl drops the butt, glowering at her as she grinds it out on the wood. Her friends follow suit, tilting their chins up as they sweep inside. It’s the sort of snub that she’ll feel bad about in the morning, wondering if she interrupted some important sorority conclave, but --

Not tonight.

“Hey.” A skinny guy slips into the chair beside her. He’s got the same gold letters on his polo as everyone else; one of the members of Phi Sigma Pi.

She doesn’t really want company, and especially -- not this, not now, but it seems rude to just...brush him off.

“Hi,” she bites out, hoping the tension in her body and her stilted tone give him the go away vibe she’s trying to put out.

“Real nice night isn’t it?”

She catches a sigh in her teeth. Her face is just too friendly.

“Yeah.” The word is clipped, short. “It’s, uh, warm out. I guess.”

You should find some guys to talk to too.

Kino’s voice echoes in her head, and for a long moment she looks at him, all long limbs and disheveled dark hair, and wonders if she should play along. Try to salvage an all right night out of the wreck Kino left her. She doesn’t want anything advanced, but she’s nineteen, and she’s suddenly aware that her last and only kiss was six years ago, by a boy still with braces on --

“Looks like you had a nasty fight with your friend there.”

Or not.

It’s a fair statement, but something in the way he says it sounds off, sounds like he’s a lion trying to coax a limping gazelle away from the herd.

She stares, and he flinches. “You were watching?”

“N-no! It’s just -- you weren’t exactly being subtle.” His demeanor suddenly shifts, the switch from defensive to debonair jarring. “I only saw because I glimpsed your hair from across the room and was...enchanted.”

Her eyelashes flutter in confusion. “My...hair?”

Your hair’s so pretty, Kino voice echoes proudly, I bet a lot of boys tell you they like it.

He leans closer, his arm spreading onto the rest on her chair. “Yes, such a vibrant color.” There’s something like hunger in his eyes when he reaches out, fingers catching the flyaway wisps of her hair --

“Is it real?” he murmurs.

He is far too close.

She jerks, and it’s only the sting of her hand and the way he clutches his that makes her realize she slapped him. Just his hand, but by the angry lines furrowed between his eyes, it was not light.

“Uh,” she hums, cheeks flushing red. “Thank you, but...um...”

His anger is gone in a blink, like it was never there. “I’m sorry,” he says, not sounding the slightest bit contrite, “that was a little forward. I really only came out here to see if you were okay. Would you like to talk? I can get you a drink...?”

This is...enough.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but…” She takes a deep breath. “No. I’m not that mad with my friend. I’m just cooling off. I don’t need, you know, comfort.”

He immediately draws up straight, affronted; practically leaping to his feet. “Well, if that’s the way you feel –”

She nods. “I do.”

His chin lifts, haughty, not done. “I’ll check back on you later.”

If she even bothers to stay that long. She’s willing to talk to Kino if it means she can avoid more of this.

How on earth do people find this fun? “If that’s what you want.”

His eyes narrow. “I’ll see you later, then.”

He doesn’t return, but a few minutes a glassy-eyed frat boy does, twice as wide as him in the shoulders, built like a brick wall.

“Hey, Red,” he says gruffly. She blinks, confused about who he could be talking to until he shoves a solo cup into her hands.

“Raj said he wanted you to have this. Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be without a drink.”

She blinks down at it blankly. Well, she didn’t tell him her name, but Red just seems...reductive. Good thing she didn’t make out with him.

“Um, thanks.”

The guy leaves, not even bothering to give any sign of having heard her. She doubts her opinion counted for much with him anyway.

It’s a vibrant pink-red, like watermelon Kool-Aid, and it smells like paint thinner. She isn’t stupid – she’s not going to drink it. For a moment she thinks about dumping it in one of the potted plants lining the deck, but --

But despite how she can count the number of cartoons she’s seen on one hand, she just thinks about it letting up a comic puff of smoke, and the plant dramatically keeling over. She can’t have that sort of thing on her conscience.

But she is…curious.

Her head turns left, turns right --

One pink nail dips in.

It comes out black.

“Kino!” It’s hard to hold the cup and hide her hand that the same time. She misses having pants, or at least pockets; she has to make due with clenching her hand in a fist, hiding it behind her back. It makes her off-balance, almost top-heavy. Not an experience she thinks she’ll often repeat. “Kino!”

Her blonde head jerks up from the drink she’s nursing. “Yuki?”

Shirayuki would normally take a moment to appreciate that Kino at least seems sorry, but now isn’t really the time for that.

Kino frowns, the picture of belligerent contrition. “Hey, I’m really sorry about – woah –”

“No time,” she says, and Shirayuki drags her from her seat, down into one of the empty halls further in the bowels of the house.

Kino looks like she has several things to say about the shabby treatment, but Shirayuki flashes her hand and her eyes go wide.

“Holy fuck?” She stares at the drink. “This?”

Shirayuki nods.

Kino dips her finger in and stares at the black polish like she’s found Spanish gold beneath her mattress.

“Who gave this to you?”

Shirayuki peeks around the corner. She doesn’t see the guy who gave it to her, but she does see –

“Him.”

Kino follows her gaze and --

“Oh my god are you serious?” Kino can barely close her jaw to get words out. “That’s Raj Schenezard. His dad is the president of the university.”

“I’m going to work for the New York Times,” Kino crows over the steady drone of NPR. “I’m going to get a Pulitzer. I’m going to win a Pulitzer and then work for the New York Times.”

Shirayuki’s not so sure about that. “That’s great, Alix.”

“God, we have pictures, Yuki. Pictures.” She shakes her head, laughing under her breath. “The only thing we could have done better was get video. But it’s fine, it’s fine.”

“Awesome.” It’s probably gauche to remind someone so firmly celebrating that someone tried to drug her, but -- Shirayuki can’t seem to summon the same enthusiasm.

“Jesus. Jesus.” Kino can hardly seem to catch her breath, never mind a thought. “Now all I need is your statement –”

“My statement?” Shirayuki blinks. “We took pictures. You have other girls too right?”

“Well, yeah, but...anonymous.” It seems this is the thing that sobers Kino. “I can have all the proof I want, but people hate facts. I need a name to build this article around. A face. A really cute face that makes everyone think it’s disgusting that boys would try to get under her skirts.”

She’s tired, so tired, and there are lines connecting in her mind that she just -- she just doesn’t want to see. She wants to go home. She wants to bury herself and only resurface for cup noodles and pee breaks.

“I don’t know if I want to do that.” She can’t, she can’t. She doesn’t have security to do something like that. “That could be really bad for me.”

“You want him to get away with it?” Kino snaps, the wheel jerking from how hard she grips is. “You want this to happen to someone else?”

Guilt gnaws at her. “No, of course not. I just…” Her head aches. “There has to be another way.”

Kino swerves up to the curb outside her dorm. “Okay, whatever. I can wait until Monday, okay? Then I need a yes or a no.”

Shirayuki knows her answer, but she nods. She doesn’t want to have a fight. “Okay.”

She waits a day and tries to call Kino. It rings twice, goes to voicemail.

Hey, this is Alix! I’m not here right now --

She drums her fingers on the desk, lets HGTV play out in the background in the common room. Everyone wants hardwood flooring. She digs her toes into the carpet and waits.

Another call, another trip through her voicemail.

She tries again Sunday, three whole times before she breaks, before she takes a deep breath and sits through the whole message.

“Hey, Alix,” she breathes, her fluttering in her chest. “I just…I don’t think I can do this…”

She hauls herself out of bed Monday morning, forcing herself through the motions as she gets ready for class. Cup noodles for breakfast is just...even sadder than she can contemplate, and she forces herself down the hill, stumbling into the DC with swipe-card out reached, her morning greeting to the check-lady muffled behind a hand --

The woman’s gaze flicks behind her. Her mouth purses. She refused to look at her when she takes her card, doesn’t say anything when she returns it.

It’s odd, but -- it’s Monday. No one’s their best on Monday. She steps through the doors to the DC, and --

Everything is utterly silent. No one will look at her, but she can feel their eyes on her nonetheless.

She swallows thickly. There can’t be -- she must be --

It’s all in her head.

She turns, grabbing for one of the student papers from the stand and --

Her own face stares back, smiling in a smart summer dress. Her from three days ago.

SPECIAL EDITION, it reads in big block letters above her, STUDENT COMES FORWARD WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT CHARGES ON PRESIDENT’S SON.

This can’t be. This can’t be.

PHI SIGMA PI UNDER INVESTIGATION, it continues. READ MORE ON PAGE 4.

She flips past, and there she is again, her high school portrait --

Her hand grips the stand, if only to stay upright. Oh god. Oh god.

She’s gonna be sick.