#this game influenced me so much I had tears in my eyes while thinking back to write this

[dmagedgoods]

🎂, 🌱, 🌌, 🖍️ for Salvadore?

🎂, 🌱, 🌌, 🖍️

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it? Salvadore’s birthday is the 18th of Arodus.

This means his birthday was the very day he made it back out of the hole he fell into thanks to Deskari. And no, I didn’t know this before I started playing 😂, I always take the 18th of the month that’s the in-universe version of August in any world I throw him in. (He's such a Leo.) It also means his birthday has to be very close to Daeran’s. Fun if they decide to celebrate together. Salvadore tends to hold a big festivity during his birthday, invites important guests and it’s usually a huge social gathering and – assuming he’s in a position of power – of political importance, but that’s the way he likes it. Nonetheless, he makes sure to have it end more calmly and spends a few hours with his partner (or the few close friends he has or both). If he’s in a position or at a place that doesn't allow a big event, he still likes a party for his birthday or some sort of special event. He won’t admit it openly of course, but it bothers him when he isn’t able to celebrate it or when no one around him even knows that it’s his birthday. 🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood? Eneas. His voice, the soft, captivating way he talked to him, the songs he played on his violin and how he looked when he did, so free, radiating life, magic, mystery, his colorful clothes, the shining jewelry … He clearly remembers his smile and the flair of secrets surrounding him and how safe and secure he felt around him. Nothing excited him as much as traveling Absalom with him, to get to know new places, to learn from him, to listen to his stories … Sometimes he wishes he could go back into this time, just for a little while. He misses him so much. Another quite vivid memory is the cruel pranks his brother played when he hid or destroyed his favorite things, locked him up in unpleasant places, told lies about him, or sabotaged his homework. Sal, unfortunately, will never forget the story of the water reservoir and the spiders. He almost drowned and this wasn’t even the worst part for him. 🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them? The truth? Rowley (my assassin boy) needed an opponent. That was the very first thought, the seed that started Salvadore’s development so many, many years ago. They were Dishonored OCs back then, Rowley a whaler, Salvadore a nobleman from Serkonos, related to Duke Abele and eager to take the position himself when the Duke’s son started to destroy his homeland. So what’s Sal’s inspiration? What’s at the core? The game Dishonored. A bunch of political intrigues. Fantasy Italy. The ocean and how the waves turn to turquoise when hit by the sun (his eyes carry this piece always). Grapes and heavy wine. Violine sounds. Giant ships in the harbor. The white uniform worn by someone out to change the world. The sands of sweet Serkonos. The first things Salvadore told me about himself were that he’s of noble birth, that he only wears white, that he has a weakness for red wine (we could go further back to the character who caused this, my taste never changed, I fear) and that he plays the violin. 🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

That he’s not responsible for the whole world. That he needs to loosen up regarding his duties a bit. His principles are important and – I regularly quote a friend on this – he loves to carry responsibility as if it was a weighted blanket. Nice and heavy is the way he likes it. But Salvadore tends to overdo it to a degree that it has the potential to utterly destroy him should he fail to accomplish his high goals or should he fail those he’s responsible for.

[writtenfangirl]

Secrets and Good Luck Charms

Plus size!Reader, angsty turning fluffy

Listen, as a plus size woman myself, I know that the chances of an F1 driver being attracted to me is close to 0, especially when they're literally always surrounded by supermodels. But I can live in my delulu era, even for a little while.

I challenged myself to create a fic with top-tier begging and I genuinely hope I accomplished that cause this was so much fun to write.

Enjoy!

Part 2

“Charles, I think we should break up.”

The words left her in a sudden whoosh, ceasing her boyfriend mid-story. His apartment went quiet, and Y/N felt the little hairs on her arms rise but her goosebumps wasn’t from the cold. 

Charles’s luminous green eyes widened.“What?”

A part of her wished she could take the words back, snatch them from the air where they hung heavy like smoke. But she’d been building up her courage all week and she wasn’t about to back down now just because he flashed those beautiful green eyes that Charles knew she could never resist. She said the words slower, kinder. “I think we should break up.”

He looked at her as if he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. “Why?”

“Because you’re ashamed of me, Cha.”

And there was the truth, the conviction that had Y/N’s resolve strengthening. Charles could deny it all he wants but Y/N knew the truth, deep down. He was ashamed of her. It was a truth that had been sitting in her chest for the better part of 9 months and it was a truth that had begun to eat at her as their relationship progressed. 

He said his next words slowly, like a child struggling to learn new words in a language he wasn’t familiar with. “What would make you say that?” 

She kept her own tone even, betraying none of the hurt that sat heavy in her chest. “Because, Cha. We’ve been together 9 months, close to a year, and yet you have never introduced me to your mother or your brothers. Not even to your friends. No posts on social media, no mention of my existence at all.”

He frowned. “I thought you wanted your privacy.”

“I do want my privacy.”

“Then I don’t understand why you want to end things!” His voice grew in octave and Y/N could see him fighting to keep his calm.

“Because, Cha,” she said, struggling to keep the exasperation from her voice, “you’re ashamed of me. I don’t care that you post me on social media or not. I don’t care if the world knows about us. If you want to keep our relationship out of the public eye, that’s fine. I know you’re doing it to protect my feelings and I appreciate it, I do. But, you refuse to let me meet your friends or your family for that matter. They’re the people that matter to me because they’re the people that matter to you. But I’ve never met them, even after you’ve met mine! And I’m—“ she took a deep, shuddering breath, fighting the hurt that threatened to have tears spilling from her eyes. “I’ve dated enough guys to know when they’re ashamed of me.”

“I am not—“

“Don’t deny it, Cha, please. It hurts even more if you do.”

His mouth snapped shut. There was confusion in his face, and maybe a bit of hurt, but Y/N saw the truth in them too. The shame that coated his eyes like paint.

“I know I’m not conventionally beautiful like your exes.” Y/N said, her words soft. “They’re thin and slender and they’re beautiful. They really are. Models and influencers that I could never compete with and I’m okay with that because you were okay with that. But I see now that you’re not. You don’t like that I’m big, that I have a stomach and huge thighs. You don’t like that I have stretch marks and rolls. And you know what, it’s fine. If you prefer thinner girls, it’s fine. I won’t hold it against you because I know some people just have preferences and it’s okay. But I refuse to ever change myself and hate myself just to fit into a person’s standards. I’ve spent so much of my life being ashamed of my body, I can’t do that anymore, Cha. I love you and you are literally the man of my dreams but I love myself too, and I love myself too much to let someone do this to me.”

“You can’t just leave me. I love you.” Charles rushed the words out as if somehow, his words would stop Y/N.

“I don’t doubt your love for me, Cha. Not one moment. I know you love me. But you don’t take me on dates in public places where people can see us. When we do go out in public, you keep a physical distance between us. You never even so much as look at me unless you have to. I’ve never met a single one of your friends, work related or not. I don’t think you’ve even mentioned to them that you were with someone. Never met Arthur or Lorenzo and I’ve definitely never met Pascale. You love me in secret and that’s not okay.”

He reached for her hand but Y/N pulled away. The hurt that flashed in his eyes made her want to tell him to forget about her confession, forget about what she said so they can return to normal but Y/N knew she couldn’t do that. She owed it to herself to do what was best for her, to love a man who loved her so much he had to shout it from the rooftops. 

“Y/N, please—“

“It’s okay, Charles.” She stood up from where she sat, pushing down her own feelings as Charles looked up at her, disbelief in his eyes. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Really, no hard feelings. Let’s just forget that this, us, ever happened. I wish you good luck with everything, I really do. I’ll pray to every God that exists that you become a world champion with Ferrari. I’ll always root for you.” 

“Y/N, wait—“

But she fled the apartment before he could say anymore.

And Charles Leclerc is out of the 2023 Belgian Grand Prix! I have to say, Crofty. Leclerc’s string of bad luck and terrible performance has really been a blow to Ferrari’s morale as of late. It really is such a horrible way to end the first half of the season, especially after such an incredible six months! It truly is such a shame. With the way things are going, what was once a tight race for the championship between Verstappen and Leclerc could simply become Verstappen’s third world championship.  Let’s hope the summer break gives him the clarity of mind he needs to get his head back in the game and the championship race back on track. 

Charles wasn’t stupid. He knew why he was losing and it wasn’t his car or his team or their strategies.

His abysmal performance could only be blamed on one person and try as he might, he couldn’t bring himself to blame Y/N. 

Because really, the only person to be blamed was himself. 

Because she was right. 

And he hated that she was right. 

He never thought he was the kind of person who was vain or who particularly cared about the opinions of others. He knew what it was like to be scrutinized by the media and while he justified keeping his relationship with her private by believing that Y/N was a private person, he couldn’t justify hiding her from his friends and family. 

It didn’t even really matter to him what she looked like. He loved Y/N, not for her body but for her soul. He was the moth attracted to her bright flame and he would have gladly let himself burn if it meant feeling the heat of her touch on his skin. She was kindness and warmth and compassion all rolled into one person, the kind of person people wished God made more of. 

And he found her beautiful. Yes, she wasn’t thin but he never cared about that before. Y/N was beautiful in his eyes. The kind of beauty meant to be admired in paintings. Her soft, curvaceous body and her sweet face made her beautiful. She may not have fit society’s standards but she fit his and that’s all that mattered. That’s all that should have mattered. 

So why did her words, her accusations, cut him so deep?

Was she right? Was he ashamed of her? 

“Mate, you okay?” 

Carlos’s voice broke him out of his reverie. It wasn’t like Charles to get distracted from the matter at hand, but his mind kept wandering to his girlfriend. Or rather, ex-girlfriend.

“You’ve been distracted.” Max noted. 

It was the summer break, a rare time in their hectic lives when they got a chance to take a breather. One of the drivers, Charles couldn’t remember who but he suspected it was George, had arranged a little get together for them. Alone time on a remote island in the tropics far from the prying eyes of their fans and the media. Not all of the drivers could make it, but those that could brought their girlfriends with them. The irony wasn’t lost on Charles that he was the only single man in an island full of couples. 

It was the kind of outing he would have wanted to include Y/N in but wouldn’t have, choosing instead to stay at home so they could spend some time alone. It never occurred to him if Y/N would have wanted to come. 

“I’m fine,” was his only brusque reply. 

“You don’t seem fine.” Pierre chimed in. 

Charles tried not to scowl. The other drivers were his friends as much as they were his co-workers and competitors. He grew up racing and competing with most of them. Max, George, Alex, Lando and especially Pierre, were constant figures in his life. If there was anyone who could help him, who could understand him, it would be them.

But it was so hard to accept the help when Charles was so… down. 

He looked at his friends, saw the expectant looks on their faces and sighed. 

“My girlfriend broke up with me.” The words left him before he had a chance to think about it. 

His friends’ expectant expressions turned into surprise before shifting to mild curiosity. 

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” Pierre’s frown could only be described as hurt. Not that Charles could blame him. Pierre was his best friend and the first person who supported him when it came to his relationships. The fact that Charles kept his girlfriend a secret probably hurt him more than he let on.

“No one knew,” Charles said reassuringly. “Not my brothers and not maman.”

“So you were only together for a short while,” Carlos guessed. “What’s the big deal?”

Charles couldn’t blame Carlos for assuming that Y/N was only in his life for a while since he never told them she existed but the insinuation hurt all the same.

“We were together close to a year. 9 months actually.”

“That long?” Alex asked, surprised. “Usually you introduce your girlfriends after two months. You kept her a secret for nine months?”

Charles winced. What sort of excuse did he have for keeping her a secret? No flimsy excuse could ever justify what he did. 

“Why did she end things?” Max asked him. 

Dread pooled in Charles’ stomach. What does he even say? He looked at his friends, at their earnest and open expressions. He knew no matter what he says, they won’t judge him. Or at least, not to his face. 

“She ended things because she thinks I’m ashamed of her.“ Charles’ admission tasted like metal in his tongue. 

“Why would you be ashamed of her?” George asked, raising a quizzical brow.

“Because she’s nothing like my exes. She’s not thin or slender, she’s full bodied. I’ve never introduced her to any of you, not even to my family. She thinks I’m embarrassed to be seen next to her.”

“Are you?” Lando asked, judgement ripe on his face. 

“No!” Charles’ defense was quick. “I am not ashamed of her. I never have been! I’m… I’m more ashamed of myself. That I didn’t reassure her. I’m ashamed that I did something that made her feel bad. I hate that I did that to her.”

“Why didn’t you introduce her to us and your family anyway?” Carlos asked this time. 

“Because with her, I feel real. I feel different. A good different. And I know how cruel people can be. I know you might not have judged her and I know if my brothers and maman met her, they would love her. Maman, especially. But if I introduced her to you, then that’s one step closer to introducing her to the world. I was scared she couldn’t take the attention and run.”

“Is she why you’ve been so bad in track lately?” Max asked. 

Charles simply nodded before closing his eyes and rubbing his face in frustration. “I don’t know what to do!”

“Well there’s only one thing you can do,” George said in that tone he uses when he thinks he knows best. “You have to go after her. Go back to her and beg her to take you back.”

“And then what?” Charles snapped, unable to stop himself from voicing out the fear that’s been plaguing his mind, “She’ll still be watched by the media. Y/N is soft and she is kind. I don’t know what I would do if people say bad things about her and I know they will. I’ve dated literal supermodels and people were mean. What more someone like her? If someone insulted her in front of me, I might actually commit assault.”

“Mate, that’s up to her and you to talk about it,” Max said. “You can’t really take the choice away from her. If you love this girl, then be with her. Fuck what other people think.”

“Charles, all that matters to us is that you are happy. If she makes you happy, then we will be happy,” Pierre reassured. “You don’t have to worry about us. This girl doesn’t happen to be an ax-wielding psychopath, right?”

The rest of their group winced at Pierre’s poor attempt at a joke but Charles smiled nonetheless. Trust Pierre to always try his best to lighten the mood. “No, she’s kind of perfect actually. I really love her.”

“Then go to her so you can get your head back in the game and beat Max in the championship,” Carlos urged. 

“I don’t know about beating me,” Max smirked and the topic of their conversation shifted to playful jibes and jokes. But Charles’ mind stayed on Y/N, at his friends encouraging words and before his mind could reconcile what his body was doing, he was already on his feet, heading to one of the yachts moored on the island. 

“Where are you going?” Pierre called out as he ran from his friends, towards the woman he loved. 

Charles answered, his mind racing as fast as his heart. “To get my girl!”

When Y/N heard the frantic knocking on her apartment door at 1AM, she expected the worst. 

Which of her family had died? Which of her friends was laying in a ditch somewhere with their car wrapped around a tree? What was the tragedy so urgent, so horrific, that it couldn’t wait until the next day and had to knock on her door at 1AM in the morning?

But when she opened the door, all she saw was Charles, eyes wide and frantic. 

“Cha?” Y/N asked, not quote believing her bleary eyes. “What are you doing here?”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he grabbed her face, bringing his mouth on hers in a searing kiss that had Y/N’s eyes shuttering close and her breath leaving her lungs. 

She tasted the salt of his sweat, felt the searing heat of his hands on her skin as his tongue swept across her mouth, kissing her as if he was underwater and she was the siren able to grant him his oxygen. She kissed him back with equal fervor, her heart deciding what her mind already knew but refused to believe. 

She had missed him, wholeheartedly. And she knew that if Charles ever came knocking back, her self restraint would crumble like chalk on pavement. She would accept him, consequences be damned. 

“I’m sorry,” he panted when she pulled away, her mind racing. “I’m so sorry.”

“Charles, I don’t understand. What are you doing here? I thought you were—“

“It doesn’t matter where I was,” he insisted, his grip on her tightening, like he was afraid that letting go would cause her to disappear. “I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough. Cherie, tu es belle. Je suis vraiment désolé. Je n'ai jamais eu l'intention de te blesser.”

“Charles, slow down,” Y/N urged, pulling him into her tiny apartment and closing the door behind her. Her french was rudimentary at best and with how fast he was talking, she was struggling to translate what he said. “You’re speaking in French. I don’t understand.”

“You are beautiful.” He blurted, stopping Y/N in her tracks. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you but I did anyway and I hate that I hurt you. I’m not ashamed of you but I am ashamed of how I acted. Forgive me, cherie, please. Please take me back.”

“Charles—“ Her phone trilled from where it was charging in her living room and Y/N pulled away from Charles it, ignoring her best friend's flashing face and clicking the red button to silence it.

“You deserve better than me, I know,” he continued, “and I know I don’t deserve you. But I will do everything I can to at least be deserving of your forgiveness. Please, Y/N. Say you forgive me.”.

“Charles—“ her phone rang again and with a growl of frustration, Y/N grabbed it, answering it upon seeing her best friend’s face flashing. “Y/BFF/N, I can’t talk right now. I'm in the middle of—“

“Did you see?” Y/BFF/N said frantically on the other end, causing Y/N to frown. “Tell me you saw it!”

She sent Charles an apologetic look as she answered. “Saw what?”

“Check Charles’ instagram! And I mean, right the fuck now! Call me back when you do.” And she hung up. 

Y/N glanced at Charles before following her best friend’s instructions, opening up the app and searching for Charles’ account. When she saw her picture on the first square, Y/N’s eyes snapped to Charles. 

“You told your friends about us,” Y/N said, stunned.

“I told the world about us,” he clarified. “I never told anyone because I was selfish. I am not ashamed of you. I never have been, never will be. I was scared because introducing you to my family and my friends means that you’re one step closer to being known to the world and I was scared you would run from all of it. From the fame, from the mean comments. It’s happened before and I didn’t want it to happen again, especially not to you. I’m not naive. If people can be mean and ruthless to girls who look like Charlotte and Alexandra, what more you? I thought I was protecting you. I don’t ever want you to leave. Please, come back to me.“

“I can’t believe you told everyone about us.” Y/N still sounded dumbfounded, even to her own ears. 

Charles gave her watery smile. “People should know about you and the love I have for you.”

Y/N wasn't entirely sure what it is about Charles that could have her melting into a puddle on the floor. She's been with good looking men before and none of them ever had that effect on her. But his confession, his conviction, had her abandoning her phone's incessant notifications, her arms automatically wrapping around Charles' neck, pulling him to her. His hands rested on her waist, ghosting down her back.

And, despite herself, Y/N felt her lips pulling into a soft smile. “You know, when I went to bed a while ago, I wasn’t expecting to see my ex knocking at my door, begging me to take him back at one in the morning. Especially since I know he’s suppose to be somewhere in the tropics on vacation.“ 

“Begging?” Charles raised a brow, almost in challenge, a small smile playing at his lips. Mirth and hope mixed in his green eyes and Y/N knew that there was never any chance she couldn’t accept his apology. 

She nodded, her smile turned teasing. “Oh, yeah, definitely begging. Groveling at my feet, asking for forgiveness. Never seen anything like it, to be honest. You know, some girls have a thing for that and I never really understood it before but now, I kinda do. I might not forgive him just so I can listen to him beg again.” 

“You are a cruel woman,” Charles said as he pulled her closer to him, his hands warm on her waist, his nose barely touching her own as his breath tickled her mouth.

“Is that what you’d call the woman willing to forgive you?” She batted her eyes, feigning innocence. “Even after she knows you’re only begging for forgiveness because of your losing streak? You did always call me your good luck charm.”

“You are my good luck charm.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in those things?”

“When it comes to you, I’ll believe in anything and anyone,” he said seriously before he grinned, wide and infectious. The kind of grin that promised an evening of debauchery and laughter. “So you forgive me?”

“Well, you did tell the world that I was your girlfriend so now I have to forgive you and take you back. I wouldn’t want to make a liar out of Charles Leclerc.”

He smiled triumphantly and this time, when Charles dipped his head for another searing kiss, Y/N didn’t pull away.

[artiststarme]

Ex-fucking-cuse you

Thank you to @carlyv for the title idea! I don’t know if I really like whatever this is but other people seem to so I’ll leave it be. Let me know what you guys are thinking in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Whenever he had shared his feelings in the past, he’d had them stomped on. From crushes to life goals, anyone he’d ever confided in had laughed in his face. The first memorable time had been when he told Tommy about his crush on Heath Sellers at recess in fourth grade. Tommy H. told him that he wouldn’t be friends with a fag and if he ever mentioned liking a dude again, he’d kick his ass. That circumstance really showed Steve that he couldn’t trust anyone. If he couldn’t share what he was thinking with his best friend, who else could he tell?

The second time was with Nancy Wheeler. Steve told her he loved her even though he knew it was too early into their relationship and he knew she was still grieving Barb. But he still told her and all she did for the first few times was call him an idiot afterwards. Steve loved too much and too hard. Sure, after a few weeks she said it back but Steve could tell it wasn’t genuine and was most likely said out of pity.

The fact that she called him bullshit just two weeks later kind of cemented that fact in his mind.

It made him feel sort of hypocritical. He told the kids to be open and honest, prided them on their communication. And then he neglected to do the same. He hid his nightmares and semi-suicidal thoughts behind an impenetrable wall that no one in the Party could breach.

Until Eddie.

For months, Steve hated Eddie because it felt like he was stealing the kids away from him. He was jealous that they shared a common interest that he couldn’t understand and was gearing up for the kids to leave him behind. But then, Eddie told him that the kids worshiped him and he’d been jealous too. Jealous of the cool babysitter that influenced their actions in DnD and could do no wrong.

Steve felt like Eddie could truly see him, could understand Steve, and liked what he saw. He could tell that Eddie was going to be a great friend of his, or more. He liked more.

But when he ran back to the trailer park after flambéing Vecna, he saw a blood soaked Eddie being cradled by Dustin. His slow paced jog turned into a full blown sprint. Steve yanked Eddie out of Dustin’s arms and made a mad dash towards the portal in his trailer. He wasn’t going to lose the one guy that made him feel more understood than anyone else had ever made him feel.

The girls and Dustin tearfully followed them but Steve couldn’t spare them any attention. He was solely focused on the sluggish bleeding of Eddie’s wounds.

“Ow, Harrington. Calm the fuck down.”

“Eddie?!” The metalhead’s eyes were blurry but somewhat focused on Steve’s face. “Hey man, you have to stay awake. When we get out of here, you can teach me all about your shitty yelling music and nerd game, okay?”

The blurriness lifted slightly as pure offense filled his face, “ex-fucking-cuse you. That “shitty yelling” is true music unlike your Tears for Fears garbage or whatever the hell else you listen to. I have taste. And yeah, Harrington. I will be teaching you Dungeons & Dragons when we get out of here. Lugging my body out of here when I was trying to make a noble sacrifice is disgraceful.”

“You’re not allowed to die, Eddie.” Steve said, panting with exertion and stress.

“That’s not up to you,” and then he passed out.

“Fuck!” Steve screamed. That fucking dramatic shit, if those were his last words, Steve would bring him back just to kill him again.

Steve’s feelings were threatening to overcome him as his hands shook while he put Eddie into the car. Nancy held one of them and gave him a look of meaning. “I’ll drive.”

“Um, yeah, yeah. Okay, thanks. Henderson! Keep pressure on his wounds. We need to stop the bleeding.” He desperately put pressure on the worst of the wounds on his torso and prayed to a god he no longer believed in.

And then they sped towards the hospital.

Steve was there when Eddie woke up, just as he had been in the four days he’d been unconscious while recovering from shock. He was trying to read the dancing letters in The Hobbit but when he looked up and met Eddie’s eyes, the book dropped from his hands.

“Didn’t take you for a fantasy nerd, Harrington.” Eddie mumbled, his voice hoarse but unwavering.

“We need to talk about your theatrics, man. You almost gave me a heart attack, Eddie.”

“Oh, we’re on a first-name basis now? If I’d known all I had to do was risk my life to be in King Steve’s court, I would’ve done it a long time ago.” Eddie smirked at him.

“I’m not a king anymore.” Steve said and shook his head. It’d been a long time since anyone had called him that and he didn’t like the way it sounded on Eddie’s lips either.

“My apologies, Steve. You’re not a king, you’re a paladin. And that’s better than any noble.” Eddie said wisely.

Steve had no idea what the fuck any of that meant or what a pal-man was but he could listen to Eddie rant at him for hours as long as he kept looking at him like that. His face was fond and his lips, though scarred with a vicious bite marring their softness, smiled softly at Steve.

He coughed a bit to clear his throat and tore his eyes from Eddie’s lips to his amused eyes. “Um, do you said you were going to explain your screamy metal shit?”

That got Steve his desired reaction and Eddie squawked. “You motherfucker-”

As Steve listened to his enraged ranting, he made himself a promise. He was going to be more like Eddie. He was going to be more free with his feelings and he would find a way to talk to his friends about them. But for now, he’d listen to Eddie’s virtriolic soliloquy about the merits of metal artists and the importance on nonconformist music in “this sweaty armpit of a state”. And Steve couldn’t be happier.

@doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @carlyv

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 7 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 8

Summary : Loki is taken away from you and you fear that he'll forget you just like everyone else.

Warning: mention of psychological torture, bit of angst

So this was happening. Like really happening. You were standing in the middle of your apartment with two gods giving deathly glares to each other, if looks could kill they would both be dead right now.

"So i–" before you could finish your sentence Thor interrupted you. That was Thor, the god of thunder, the Asgardian god everyone lusted after, the man you never thought would be standing in your room someday.

"Are you tired of playing these childish games now brother?" He asked Loki and Loki could only smile in response.

"Games? I haven't even done anything"

"He's right" you mumbled as quietly as you could.

"You fled with the tesseract" Thor raised his voice and you were hoping Mrs Geller had remembered to take her pills today. Otherwise the field day she'd have with this tomorrow will be insane.

"I barely picked it up because it fell right by my feet, I was teleported here, did you want me to surrender myself knowing too well that you'd take me back to Asgard so I am trapped in that forsaken cell for the rest of my life?" Loki glared at him, his voice laced with mixture of anger and sadness so you grabbed his hand and gave him a comforting squeeze. His eyes softened immediately at the touch.

"You commenced a war on earth Loki, what did you think would happen to you? I'm here to take you back to the tower. Let us go now"

He stormed towards Loki so you got in front of him, you were trying to protect a powerful god from an equally powerful god. How smart did you have to be to do that?

"Look he's your brother alright, if you'd just sit down and talk to him about what he did and why he HAD to do it, you'd understand him better –"

"Lady y/n i would advise you not to speak on this matter –" He interrupted you again. For a prince he sure lacked manners.

"She will speak her mind, you daft ill-mannered rhinoceros. Have you forgotten that it's rude to interrupt a lady while she's speaking? Oh!! pardon me you never had such manners to begin with"

"Okay I am–" you were going to say something but then you turned around and grabbed Loki's hands to take him to the kitchen, you could feel Thor's eyes on you both and it made you uncomfortable.

"What is going to happen Loki I'm scared" your eyes teared up, all of this was nerve wracking for you, not knowing what they planned to do to him was terrifying. He cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead, he could also feel Thor's eyes on him so that was making him act a little differently with you, he had never been one to indulge in such a display of affection before.

"They can not harm me darling, I am the youngest prince of Asgard, worst comes to worst I will be prisoned–"

"Lokiii" your eyes welled up more so he hugged you as tightly as he could, he knew he had to see this someday, he just didn't know it would come so soon. Before he fell asleep he thought about things he wanted to do with you tomorrow but he knew he won't be seeing your pretty face first thing in the morning any longer"Do you perhaps want to accompany me?" He asked you so you pulled away to look at him.

"Lo i.."

"I know it is not appropriate of me to be asking you for this but I just –"

"Stark said she can not come–" Thor chimed in to give his two cents.

"Are you his slave now? Are you willing to accept your truer purpose in life?" Loki answered him, even the way they conversed with each other gave you snappy siblings energy.

"I can't lo.. I have a job here and my family.. I have never been to NYC and ..it's just too much" you placed your hand on your face to control your sobs but it was futile, you really wanted to follow him but you felt afraid, you had never been someone to do something so impulsive in life. Maybe that's why you were left behind while everyone else moved forward and succeeded.

"I understand, just know that I will get back to you as soon as I can" he said to you. He wished you'd have agreed to come with him but he knew he was asking for too much too soon.

"You promise? Promise me that you'll be okay and that I'll see you again"

"I will be back to you i am giving you my word darling" you were going to kiss him but your eyes met with Thor again.

"Can you turn around creep?" You screamed at Thor, his eyes widened for a moment before he turned his back to you both, as soon as he did you got on your tip toes and kissed Loki as passionately as you could. Of Course this was happening to you now, you couldn't have kept him forever anyways, you just feared that he will forget all about you as soon as you're out of his sight, earth was filled with gorgeous women, of course he'd find someone else once he's not trapped in this bubble with you.

"Will you give me a call?" You asked him so he nodded. You sobbed as you felt your heart breaking.

"Why now? You said you knew about this, why didn't you come get him before? Why can't you just let him be? He had suffered enough" You stormed towards Thor so he took a step back.

"It is not my fault that my arrival in your city made national news, they assumed that I knew something, i couldn't lie anymore, maybe I should hone the art of lying. Loki can help"

Loki rolled his eyes at the comment. He was so used to such remarks that it didn't even affect him.

"You're not going to poke a hole in my ceiling right?" You asked Thor so he looked up.

"We shall get back to the roof then"

You grabbed Loki's hand as you all went upstairs, you couldn't stop staring at him, the thought of him not being there in your apartment made you feel horrible, it felt like a breakup, the nastiest breakup you have ever had. Knowing you won't get to cuddle him or kiss him, probably ever again, just made you not want to exist anymore. When did your feelings get this intense for him?

"Princess?"

"Mmmm" you mumbled because you knew you'd cry if you'd even try to talk to him right now .

"Promise me that you will not cry in my absence" Well he wanted you to cry it seems.

"Do you want me to lie?" You looked at him and his heart clenched. He didn't want you to cry because he knew he wouldn't be here to hold you and comfort you. As you all reached the roof Thor waved his hammer and you heard the thundering,

"Wait a moment–" Loki spoke, he wanted to look like an Asgardian before he leaves, one fluck of his fingers and he looked the same as he did the first day you had met him, his hair had gotten longer though.

"Am I ever going to see you again or I'll just be a forgotten memory–" you looked down because the words made you feel choked up.

"You will see me princess, you will see all of me I promise, what you have done for me can never be compared, what I feel for you is irreplaceable" he cupped your cheeks and kissed you softly. His eyes were teary too, all he wanted to do was take you back to that small apartment of yours and snuggle you but it was a luxury he could no longer afford. "Farewell for now, my beloved" he took your hand in his and pressed a small kiss before he stepped away from you.

"If you hurt him, I don't care if it's just a scratch, I swear to god I'll tell everyone about that thing" you said to Thor and he snickered in response.

"What thing?" Thor questioned

"The thing" Loki smirked

"You told her?" Thor glared at him

You smiled at Loki and he returned it. And then they were both gone. Your lo was gone, you couldn't see him and you felt empty without him, you felt hollow, your feet felt stuck on the ground beneath you, you didn't even want to go back to that apartment without him. Why didn't you go with him when he asked you to?

"Ohh goddd" you sat down on the floor because your knees felt too weak to keep you standiy. And then you cried for what seemed like hours, you missed him already, you missed him being close to you. When you entered your apartment it almost made you pass out, you could see him everywhere still, the number of times you wished for him to just appear out of nowhere was intense. The bed smelled like him and though it gave you a moment of relief when you laid down on it, the longer you stayed there the harder it got for you to breathe, your arms craved to hold him and knowing that you won't be able to do any of those things only made you cry yourself to sleep.

In the morning you woke up suddenly and turned the news on to see if there was anything about him. A part of you feared you would be sent to jail but you knew you hadn't done anything wrong. Right?

Everytime you looked around you just saw him, you saw him on that bed sleeping like a baby, you saw him reading his book on that sofa, you saw him watching the tv with that adorable look on his face everytime you came back home.

You waited for three days to see something about him on tv but you saw nothing, he had made no attempt to communicate with you and that kind of made you angry but then the worries kicked in. What had they done to him?

You hardly ate, your body felt sick all the time and you just hoped that they were not hurting him.

"Why won't he call..please call" you mumbled in frustration and then it hit you, he didn't have your number, he never needed it. "Ohh God" you were starting to freak out but then you remembered that they could easily get your information if they actually wanted to, they haven't even tried to contact you to ask anything about him and that bothered you, he lived with you for more than two months. Weren't they just a tad bit curious?

"Stop glaring at me reindeer games, this is for your own good"

Loki glared at Stark again for what felt like the umpteenth time in just a matter of an hour. It has been three days since he had been locked up here in this tower. He desperately wanted to communicate with you but they weren't allowing him, apparently there was a legal case against him by the state of New York and he wasn't allowed to do anything, they did give him a lawyer though.

He was grilled by the Avengers for hours when they got him there and they tried to pipe the information out of him so he just told them everything he knew, right from the the moment he fell off the bifrost, he told them how he was rescued by the men of the mad Titan Thanos and how they tortured him for a year before they sent him to do his bidding. The shock on their faces was worth sharing the embarrassing ordeal he had suffered through.

A press conference was to be held three days later where Nick Fury would introduce him as the newest Avenger, all of this felt like a joke to him but one of the conditions he had imposed was that he'd be able to communicate with you and they had promised him that after the press conference he would be free to make one phone call, he felt like a prisoner still but he was happy that they weren't taking him back to Asgard. He didn't want to be anywhere he couldn't get in touch with you.

He just hoped you weren't feeling hurt or betrayed by him, he didn't want to abandon you or make you feel how other people had done before. He missed you every second of his life, at night he couldn't sleep because the nightmares kept him up, he would always wake up with teary eyes and it was only the thought of your comforting embrace that would lull him back to sleep. He missed your warm body next to his cold one. He yearned for you with all his heart and he hoped you were missing him as much as he did.

"Thanks a ton for telling me about that Minnesota gal, my publicist is very impressed by the story" Tony said to Thor and that perplexed him, why was this publicist person impressed?

"Why?"

"A tortured escaped fugitive running from the world ends up in a random girl's apartment and she agrees to hide him? That's a movie, a blockbuster movie" Tony explained.

"And what it is that you're planning to do with the story, are you going to call her here?" Thor was a bit taken by your intimidating personality but he knew Loki adored you and that was enough of a reason for him to care about you, even if just a little.

"You'll see at the press conference" Tony winked at him before walking away.

You were in the gym when you saw the news. They were talking about Loki and Thanos and everything he had told you, also the things he hadn't told you yet. He was tortured for a year, that's why he had those nightmares, your heart clenched for him and all you wanted to do was comfort him and give him plenty of forehead kisses but he wasn't there with you anymore.

"Oh my god is that for real? I think they're making it up to make us feel bad about him" Lyla commented so you rolled your eyes.

"He's superrr hot though" Stacy spoke

Well, that you agreed with.

Apparently there will be a public press conference that will be broadcasted live tomorrow. You felt a surge of relief because at least they weren't trying to hurt him but then you felt angry, why hadn't he called you then? Did he not miss you?

You went home and cried again, of course you got so attached so quickly to a man who wasn't attainable. It wasn't the first time you had done that but at least you weren't in love with those guys.

"He's going to fall in love with someone else" you mumbled as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

Of Course, that's exactly was going to happen, the first guy you liked was happily married now, the next one found his girlfriend while he was with you, the last ex of yours also found a girlfriend right after he broke up with you even though he claimed that he couldn't get lucky with girls and you were the ultimate dream come true for him and there would never be another you. You were like a blessing for these guys because you entered their lives and bam they were meeting the love of their lives left, right and center.

Maybe you were the problem here. Maybe you didn't deserve to keep men in your life. If those midgardian men were able to find someone so quickly then you didn't expect a god like him to wait around for you. He was probably getting himself sandwiched between the models that Tony Stark hung around with, that Ironman was a problematic guy, you didn't have to dig too deep to figure that out.

Thankfully you didn't have to work the next day so you made a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa to watch the press conference. You just wanted to see him even though you knew it would only hurt you further. You just wanted to see if he was ok.

"Brother, do not say anything you're not supposed to say" Thor told him so Loki rolled his eyes. He saw Anthony walking towards him with a tall blonde female by his side and it confused him.

"Loki ..meet Melisaa, you can call her Mel for short, is that correct?" Tony looked at Melissa and she smiled as she kissed his cheek then she turned her attention towards Loki.

"Well I think we need to have one conversation at least before the conference" She grabbed his hand and he was so confused, so was Thor, she took him away with her and Thor glared at Tony

"What is this? Is this some sort of bribe?" He questioned Tony.

"No it's for his public image, you see people don't trust him. Obviously. They need to trust him and whats the better way to reel them in than a human girl dating him"

"Dating? Are you out of your mind? He fancies lady y/n..from Minesotta"

"Yeah, my publicist looked her up. You see, she ain't it" Tony gave him a look of disgust as if you were beneath these people, he didn't think of you like that, he just found you annoying "He needs someone attractive, someone more presentable. Trust me a taste of Melissa and he won't even remember this lady of yours" Before Thor can speak further into this matter Tony walked away from him.

Loki didn't know why Melisaa was talking to him about you, she kept asking him questions about the things that happened the day he had invaded your apartment, however he was more than happy to talk about you with someone, he missed you alot, especially in this moment, he had to face all these people and all these strangers scared him a little. All he wanted to do was hold your hand, if you were here he'd just press his head on your chest and just have you comfort him the way you used to do.

He remembered that day he met you for the first time, you both were complete strangers but he had never felt so taken by a stranger before. You made him feel at home, something he didn't have anymore.

"Loki let's go" His lawyer told him so he nodded and Melissa hooked her arms with him to take him with her, the gesture confused him even more. Why was she there with him?

The conference went okay, he was able to apologize and speak his truth, he knew people of midgard won't forgive him so easily, there were also things he needed to discuss with these Avengers. Two Tony Starks and two Captains, why nobody was concerned about that? Why weren't they concerned about Thanos?"

You watched him on the tv and it made you cry furiously on that ugly sofa, he was so pretty and so soft in that dark blue suit he had worn, you couldn't even believe that you were blessed enough to have that godly man in your arms every night like that. You noticed the modelesque looking woman beside him and it made you worry. Did he find someone already or was it just for appearance purposes?

"Loki, hi this is Patricia from times now, you had disappeared for two months with something as valuable as the tesseract, where were you hiding all this time?" He was going to answer but a woman who introduced herself as Dalia came forward instead, whatever you heard next only made you want to rip your hair out. You flipped the channel but it was everywhere, the news had spread like a wildfire. You stopped pressing the button of the remote on some Entertainment channel and the more you heard about the situation, the angrier it made you feel.

"They say love can find you in the strangest of places and the new Avenger aka Loki the Asgardian god can probably relate. From last two months we were wondering where the certain god had disappeared to, shockingly enough, the tesseract, the powerful bundle of energy teleported him to an apartment in New York City which belonged to a local model named Malissa McKay, we got in touch with Malissa herself to get her reaction and it's adorable how their relationship developed in the time period"

You saw the model Malissa and she revealed how she threw a knife at him as she was in the kitchen looking for her salad when he came out of nowhere and how he told her that she didn't need that stuff because she was perfect the way she was. Your eyes teared up more and more as she continued to talk about him.

How dare he do that to you? How dare he agreed to replace you as if you meant nothing to him?

How dare he broke your heart like that when he knew what he meant to you?

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Ooppps

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[emonydeborah]

snw episodes rated by Una

in which Una is my unit of measurement, not that this is what she would think of the events

All from memory bc who has time

SPOILERS FOR EVERYTHING

1x01: she’s literally the catalyst for getting Chris off his butt and the whole episode. Barely in it but she did all the detective work for everybody. “Somehow I knew you would” with the little smile and “La’an!” in the softest voice immediately established both relationships and my abiding love for her. She’s literally driving the plot but still not there much; 6/10.

1x02: she shares some LooksTM with Chris. Chris was slightly subdued at one (1) dinner party and Una went something is deeply wrong. Chris is sad and Una tells him to live his gosh darn life. Pretty sure she flies the ship a bit. She’s here. Can’t complain. 6/10.

1x03: OOOOHOHO here we go. Whatever camera angle it is that shoots from the floor to watch people walk away and makes them look tall was excellently utilized. Girl was STRIDING everywhere. Hauled a grown man over her shoulder and was greeted with the shock and awe she deserved. Told her biggest secret (!!!!) to help the crew!!! bc she would sacrifice herself for them!!!!! also she googled her glowworm episode like it had not happened her whole life (which I will accept as a writer thing. but she really looked at a picture of someone glowing bc of an infection and went 😮). Girlie managed a whole ship of sedated/crazy people and did not let anyone jump into the sun/warp core. Had a deep talk with La’an and revealed more of their shared history. Stunning. 10/10.

1x04 another case of I can’t complain. As my favorite character I want her to be happy, but I will take some internal bleeding and other catastrophic injuries. As a treat. The sheer power of ordering the medical staff to give away her blood transfusion and then knocking herself out before they could argue. Unparalleled. Had no impact on the main plot but what she did do in her sphere of influence was important and exemplary. I’ll take it. 7/10.

1x05: back at it again with the b-plot but I AM HERE FOR IT. GIVE ME LA’AN AND UNA BEING GOOFY. Loved the death glare at Joseph so he would confess and how she pretended not to be huffy about her nickname. La’an went can we… play a game… and Una went YEs sounds educational. For science. The look of absolute shock and betrayal when La’an shot her and her little “ow.” “People are idiots. You’re fun.” La’an went lol my childhood was a bleak horror scape and Una went absolutely NOT I’m going to commit crimes to rectify this. I like people having wacky misadventures while the plot is plotting somewhere. 8/10.

1x06 Chris forgot her name. She had to leave so she wouldn’t verbally tear him to shreds in front of his crew. Most likely explanation. Where was she I miss her. 4/10.

1x07: she locked the pirates out of the ship!!! We love a competent first officer shooting people on her bridge. She shook her head half an inch and Spock went absolutely whatever you say. Chris was thrown to the floor in front of her and she crossed her arms and watched him get up. “We’re starting a mutiny.” "Someone's breaking the rules today." Legitimately appreciated her teamwork with Chris in planting the mutiny idea. Would love to see it again sometime. 7/10.

1x08: bow and arrow. She checked on Joseph after and I appreciated that they carried that through from her finding out about Rukiya before. Una was here but she wasn't Una. Also. If we're real she wasn't really there. I liked the eye shadow though. 5/10.

1x09: "you should really try the omelet." The breakfast scene is my favorite and in fact the only scene. Nothing else happened with Hemmer or Spock or anyone. Really short episode. I would have liked to have seen her face when Chris snapped the tongs. She tried to follow the shuttle to the surface with scans and Chris went nah babe we're fine. Let her do her job Chris. Breakfast scene 10/10. Episode 5/10.

1x10: notable by her absence. She checked on Chris and once again told him to live his life. She's not there in the future but I won't take points for that because Chris immediately went where is my bestie. I cannot function without my work wife where is she. Her arrest kick-started the series and for our cliffhanger she was arrested again. I'm sensing a theme. What will they incarcerate her for next and how will Chris break her out this time. I will always appreciate Chris going absolutely feral for his first officer/life partner. 9/10.

2x01: prison. She tells Chris not to be stupid and he goes don't tell me what to do *cough* I love you *cough* Not a strong start for our girl but I trust her to overcome. Once again Chris is going off on a mission to save her. Lost points for the brevity of her appearance and the weird black jumpsuit. 4/10.

2x02: Girl sat in a chair and watched her friends say nice things about her for days. I would shrivel up and die. Una looks teary. Her lawyer put some heat on a guy who said he would NEVER hire Una if he knew her real race and Una said that was too mean leave him alone. La'an confessed her feelings in public. Spock gave the whole courtroom a heart attack to make Una smile. Chris hugged her looking panicky. please don't go away again. Una looked at Chris like she wanted to kiss him or perhaps sip one milkshake through two straws. The whole episode is about how great she is. 15/10.

2x03: unfortunately for most of this episode she did not exist. Liked the professional and sassy attitude towards Pelia but I must reduce points for Una not existing. 2/10.

2x04: Una succumbed to a disease she should canonically be immune to. Fridged almost immediately. Chris said I need some good fighters and took his doctor instead of his super strong first officer who was familiar with the terrain. Una called Chris out on relationship nonsense like the og she is but this cannot repair the damage. Drove me to writing fix-it fic. -10/10.

2x05: Una is canonically one of the girls. She hangs out with some very specific junior officers including her emotionally constipated son and her traumatized daughter. She laughs very loudly and I like to think the writers are purposefully making her more open now that people know her genetics secret. Tells Mr. Spock how to be a Vulcan. Part of a lineup to talk to Spock and is a head taller than the rest of the line. All in all a great time. 9/10.

2x06: she yells at her former professor who is also thousands of years old. I would simply perish. "yoU HaVe CruMBs oN yOuR uNifOrM" Starfleet said we need someone to get this defunct and thus far unmanageable station up and running. Send Una. "Oh good, I was afraid I'd miss the speech." Rebecca Romijn note- she is nine inches taller than Carol Kane, but she manages to look/act a lot younger and smaller than normal. Pelia takes about 14 seconds to get Una teary eyed. "My final paper was METICULOUSLY researched." 8/10.

2x07: "That's ridiculous, we can't just 'Not Look.'" "Like... a p i n - u p p o s t e r?" Girl is constantly baffled the whole time. One (1) young man was unnerved by her and she went he knows how I die. She then winked at him and he almost had a stroke. We see a picture of her as she is idolized in the future. Excellent. Different flavor than 2x06 but still 8/10.

2x08: lots of Significant Eye Contact with Chris. She said if you don't get this ship where it's going asap I will revoke your command and drive us there myself. "Everyone is on their own journey." I feel like she knows Joseph murdered a man in sickbay but we don't know for sure. She's out here being a competent first officer and telling the captain how the crew is feeling. I like the reminder of her priorities. Chris is here to explore and it's Una's job to make sure he has a functional crew to do so. 6/10.

2x09: Una Chin-Riley, musical theater nerd, had the absolute time of her life and I am so happy for her. Girl JUMPED into that first song with much soulful pushing of buttons. "A surprisingly beautiful baritone." Chris asked Uhura the singer how musicals work and Una answered. Is feeling her feelings so much these days she started singing about her job. Waltzed through the halls with James T Kirk. La'an went I would like to not do this please and Una said feel your feelings. Fly away with me. Accept yourself. Love yourself. "You came in here hot. On fire. It's making me sweat." The whole ship is singing and La'an is making friends. This was the best day of Una's life. 1000/10.

2x10: Una volunteered for a dangerous forbidden mission to save her husband's gf and spent the whole time stalking around the bridge like a tiger or a mom looking for sales at Target and giving hopeful speeches. She did tell Spock his gf might be dead but if you want to look for her go for it champ. "ORDERS CAPTAIN" Chris is hanging on by a thread. Una is the thread. Not a great end if I'm honest but she did look fantastic walking around murderously. 5/10.

[nadinebrooks-marvel]

Here is the link to my masterlist

Bucky Barnes x Reader: Sunflower Part 2

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, drugging, if I've missed anything, let me know PART 1

"You did what?" Tony was absolutely fuming. He was pacing the kitchen while the rest of the team watched him with worried expressions. Bruce and Steve were trying to calm him down, however, Natasha and Sam thought the situation was a little funny. And Bucky was sulking in the corner wondering where he went wrong. 

Bucky’s closest friend in the tower, (y/n), was struggling to come to terms with her past. Once a pawn of Hydra, she was forced to commit unspeakable acts without any recollection. 

This is exactly why Tony hated leaving anyone alone in the tower. Even if it only was for a couple of hours. When he wasn’t here, things went to shit. After witnessing some of the heinous things that (y/n) had done, Tony took her under his wing.

The day after they met, he had given her the nickname “Sunflower”. When the young woman realized what her powers were, a sunflower was the first thing that she created. Her first creation had been handed over to Tony as a way to say thank you. 

All he wanted to do was provide her with a safe haven within the walls of the tower and shield her from the haunting memories. Maybe he should have done the exact opposite. 

"There was nothing that he could do about it." Bruce pointed out. "I mean she did put the mixture in Bucky’s soup. Nobody in this room is to blame. It’s her own fault.”

“No.” Bucky had finally stood up from his place at the kitchen table. “Don’t blame this on her. This is everyone’s fault who didn’t let her watch the film. If anything, this is Tony’s fault.” 

"Let this be a warning to everyone in this room.” Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t eat anything from Poison Ivy."  

"I honestly don't think it'll happen again." Natasha shrugged. “I mean she did tell you there would be consequences Tony. I still don’t understand what was holding you back from letting her see those tapes.”   

"I agree." Sam nodded. "I believe it was an isolated incident. Maybe you should have just shown her the files." 

"She wasn't ready for them."  

"But that isn't your decision." Bucky pointed out. "She isn't a child. (y/n) is strong enough to handle just about whatever. She was ready.” 

"Oh yeah, and where is she now? According to Reindeer Games, she's been locked in her room since she finished going through everything. Is she even alive?" Tony grumbled at Bucky.

"I don’t know," Bucky admitted. 

When the screen flickered to life, there had been an eerie glow cast along the wall. Her eyes were fixated on the images that danced in front of her. She found herself watching with a mix of both fascination and horror as her former self, under HYDRA’s influence, committed acts that she couldn’t remember. 

She fought back tears, overwhelmed by the weight of their past actions and the following consequences. There was nothing but guilt, shame, and confusion all tangled together. The feelings were threatening to drown her so she locked herself in her room. The weight of their past came crashing down on her. The only thing she wanted right now was to seek isolation, 

"She was when I walked by a few hours ago." Steve finally spoke up. He had been pretty much silent and analyzing every single part of the conversation the entire team was having. He wanted to side with Bucky, but at the same time, he was leaning toward Tony. 

"How could you tell?" Natasha raised her eyebrow at the blonde. 

"I could hear her heartbeat. It’s a side effect of the serum."  

"Can you hear everyone's heartbeat?" Natasha asked. 

"Yeah. I usually tune it out, but I noticed hers was much slower than usual. I thought she was sleeping, but maybe someone should check on her."  

“I can go check on her.” Bucky immediately stood up. This was his doing so he should be the one to go and check on her. He got up from the table and headed toward the elevator where (y/n)’s room was. 

To some extent he understood (y/n)’s anguish. Especially with his past. And he knew that the last thing she needed was to face this alone. Maybe just maybe he would have turned out a little differently if someone had been there for him. He stood outside the door debating if he should go inside or give her more time to process. Before he could give it more though, he decided that the best thing to do was to knock. 

“Hey. I know you’re hurting, but shutting yourself away from all the people who care about you won’t solve anything.” Bucky was pleading with her. When he touched the doorknob, he noticed that it wasn’t locked. He could enter if he wanted, but (y/n) deserved privacy. “Can I please come in? I just want to help you.” 

(y/n) tried to lift her head off the bed, but it fell back down. She was much too weak to do much of anything. But Bucky’s continued pleading gave her the strength to crawl out of the bed and slowly sulk over to the door to let him inside. There she stood with tear-stained cheeks and eyes filled with sorry. Even then Bucky couldn’t help but think she was absolutely beautiful. 

He stepped into the room and swiftly closed the door behind him. He slowly approached (y/n) as if he was trying not to startle her. He knew that for the next couple of minutes he needed to choose his words very carefully. The last thing he wanted was to send her back down a rabbit hole.

“Look (y/n), I’m not going to pretend that I know exactly what you’re going through. However, I do know what it feels like to be haunted by your past. You’re not going to go through this alone. You have my word.” 

“Bucky.” The tears started welling up in her eyes even more. “I’m not worthy of forgiveness. I can’t even forgive myself.” 

“You have to understand that the person you were under HYDRA’S control, that wasn’t you. You were a victim and we know that it wasn’t anything that you wanted to do. But now you have the chance to rewrite your story and it can be whatever you want it to be now.” He took a step closer to (y/n) and slowly reached out to cup her cheek. “And if it’s worth anything, I see the person you are now. Just to name a few, you are strong, compassionate, and intelligent. You are someone who is deserving of love and forgiveness.” 

“I’m scared Bucky. I’m scared of myself. If I was able to do all those things so easily, who is to say that I won’t be able to do it again?” 

“Nobody.” Bucky admitted. “If placed in the right conditions, there’s no doubt in my mind that you could bring that skill set back out. However, as long as I have breath in my body, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t have to experience that ever again.” 

“Thank you Bucky.” (y/n) whispered. Her breath got caught in her throat. All she felt was gratitude toward her coworker. 

“There is no reason for you to thank me. It’s going to be a long journey, but I want to help you find peace. That’s what teammates do, right?” 

“Yeah. Teammates.” (y/n) grumbled when she started to think that’s all Bucky saw her as. Even though he had asked her on a date, his feelings might have changed after she basically drugged him. 

“Is there something wrong with me calling you my teammate?” Bucky raised his eyebrow. The two of them had never fought side by side before, but he still liked to consider them teammates. 

“No. It’s just-” (y/n) looked down trying to figure out the best way to describe what she was thinking. She needed Bucky to know that she saw him as more than a friend, but she wasn’t known for being the best at putting her thoughts into words. 

“Just what?” Bucky nodded patiently waiting for her to figure out what she wanted to say. He could be patient, especially when it came to (y/n). He would wait on her for years if he needed to. Once (y/n) had decided what she wanted to say, she opened her mouth to respond, but Tony Stark burst into the room. 

“How are you doing Sunflower?” Tony questioned walking over to her. “I’ve come to apologize. Maybe I was wrong for not letting you see that film, but I thought it was best for you. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, but just know that none of us are holding this against you. All that matters is what we choose to do afterwards.”

Weeks turned into months as (y/n) embarked on her path to healing with Bucky right by her side. (y/n) spent time with each Avenger learning how they moved on from their own past. 

“I’ve learned that the only way to move forward is to confront your past head on.” Nashsha shared with the younger Avenger. “All you can do is accept your mistakes. Once you do that, you have to take responsibility and that leads you toward redemption. I like to think that you are not defined by your past actions, but by the choices you make now.” 

There was solace found in Wanda as well. “You have the power to change (y/n) and use your abilities for good. You must remember that your powers are part of you, but they don’t define you. It’s not going to be an easy road. Take it from someone who held an entire city in captivity. But once you learn to forgive yourself, you will be able to start moving on. Don’t let your past define you.” 

“Unchecked power can lead to destruction.” Stephen Strange spent time with (y/n) teaching her how to harness her abilities with control and precision. “However, when power is wielded with empathy and purpose, it can bring about a great change.” 

With the support of her new family, (y/n) was able to really begin the healing process. Over the next couple of months, Bucky remained a constant pillar of support for (y/n). He listened to her without judgment and offered a comforting presence. Their friendship started developing into something more. 

One evening, (y/n) found herself on the rooftop with Bucky. The entire team had decided to go out to the bar, but the two of them wanted to have a quiet night in. The sun had started to dip below the horizon and it casted hues of orange and purple across the sky. The breeze whispered through their hair and the distant city lights illuminated the pathways below them. 

“I just want to say that I am so proud of you (y/n).” He offered her a warm smile. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he just didn’t know how to put it into words.

“You mean more to me than I can put into words. You‘ve shown me more kindness, understanding, and love than I thought I deserved.” (y/n) smiled back at him.

His gaze softened as he reached out to gently take the reader’s hand. Their fingers intertwined and it sent a jolt of warmth between the pair.

Bucky and (y/n)’s locked and there was a silent understanding between the two of them. It was as if the weight of their shared experiences had led them to this moment. 

“There’s something I need to tell you, Bucky.” (y/n) couldn’t remember the last time she was this vulnerable. Maybe never. But she felt like now was the time to tell Bucky what had been playing over and over in her mind for the past couple of months. “You’ve seen me at my worst, yet you’ve never failed to continue to support me. You’ve made me believe in forgiveness and the possibility of healing. And most importantly, you’ve taught me how to love.” 

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I care about you more than I ever thought was possible.” A soft smile plated on Bucky’s lips and his thumb traced gentle circles on the back of (y/n)’s hand. 

It seemed as if the sunset and rooftop with it held its breath as (y/n) and Bucky leaned in toward each other. Their lips met in a gentle, tentative kiss. It was a union of two souls seeking solace and a connection. No more words needed to be said between the two. They knew exactly what the other was feeling. 

The moment was filled with the weight of their past, but also with the promise of a brighter future. 

[on-a-lucky-tide]

I saw this post about taking Geralt's comment following Vesemir's death at Kaer Morhen at face value: "I can't cry. Don't know how." While it's very possible that CDPR put this in as a form of manly pain where there are no tears, there are numerous times in the game when Geralt's eyes glisten with tears. It never even occurred to me that Geralt meant he couldn't physically cry (this could also be influenced by the books where he most definitely cries).

Furthermore, the sheer amount of emotion in the scene is unbelievable. After the heart pounding action of the battle, the silence is deafening.

Geralt approaches and Yen stops him, because she knows he will need a moment to compose himself. Their daughter is kneeling by the dead body of his father.

He knows she has work still to do. He knows he needs to be strong because she needs to be strong. So, Geralt does what Geralt does best to survive the most traumatic moments of his life: he pushes that pain way, way down and walks over.

He returns Vesemir's sword after wiping the blood away on his palm, because Vesemir is incomplete without them. It's a pointless thing to do. Vesemir will never lift that sword again, but Geralt needs to do it. It's a mechanical thing, like when you tidy the house of a dead loved one. Why? Why are you doing that? Because it's easier than standing there and staring at the emptiness. Just for a moment. I don't know why, you just do it.

When Ciri says she should have never brought danger to Kaer Morhen's walls, Geralt looks away. Why doesn't he reassure her? - "no, you had no choice", "no, you did the right thing" - perhaps because he just... he just can't find the words. He looks away because he needs just a moment to gather his strength again. Looks at the walls that were meant to protect them. When, in the end, it was always going to be sacrifice.

And then, when she stands, "I nearly killed you... Killed everyone..." Geralt looks at her. You pick "there's no blame, only grief", and he tells her "he doesn't know how to cry". Is it because he can't process this? Is the shock and the pain too much? Is it still an abstract concept to him - Vesemir being gone? After all, he returned that sword to his back.

Whatever Geralt is trying to say to his daughter about the sheer magnitude of his grief, she hugs him. She understands. Ciri has been through so much. Lost so many. She is in such a unique place to understand what Geralt has just lost.

I think the reason it never really occurred to me that Geralt meant he couldn't cry is because this was what my grief looked like. I didn't cry until months and months later and certainly not where my family could see; I was the rock, the bastion. But the truth was the pain was so large, so deep, so overwhelming that it defied tears until my mind had time to sit and comprehend what I had just lost.

Geralt doesn't have time to comprehend yet. He doesn't have time to do anything but observe the funeral rites and then it's right back to fighting for those that are still alive. It's in the after, when the battles are won, the night is silent and he doesn't need to be strong, that's when Geralt will cry.

This entire sequence wrecked me. (And it made me all the angrier that Eskel, Lambert and Geralt didn't get time to grieve together, but that would've stalled the narrative, and that's what fic is for, right?)

[deviantdaffodil]

caught

modern au!ronoroa zoro x reader

yall gonna learn real quick tht i got a type and tht it is very worrying

anyway ! zoro ! my most favorite pie rat !

i made a joke about a modern au of the straw hats being a group youtube channel and they all live together and do gaming/vlogs/challenges etc. and i haven’t stopped thinking about it, so keep that in mind while reading this! the fact that the straw hats are yt influencers honestly might not matter tht much to the plot but . now youre thinking about it too so im winning

contains: oral (male receiving), yall will like oral as much as me i will condition you to it, caught masturbating, voyeurism if you squint, mentions of recording, praise, being called baby girl, slight degradation

Zoro huffed as his cock threatened to spill his load at any second. He tried biting his lip to distract him but it didn’t work, and now the taste of blood tainted his tongue. He panted as he went to work on his cock, stroking his precum onto it. He was standing at the edge of his bed, fucking his hand as if it were a pocket pussy.

You stood at his door, peeking into his room from the slight opening you made. God how you wanted to be in there. It would be such a waste if he were to blow his load now. You watch him as he leans his head down, spits on his cock, and keeps thrusting into his hand. It was so unfair that you had to stand and watch, just rubbing your thighs together desperately wanting to be what Zoro was pounding his thick cock into.

He was so handsome and you could look at him all day. The way his cock is curved and formed just right. The way his cock glistened with spit and precum while he fucked his hand. God you can want those hands to pick you up and brutally bring your pussy down on Zoro’s massive-

“ACHOOOO!!”

Oh Christ. You panicked, not knowing what to do after a sneeze had pulled you out of a trance.

Zoro cocked an eyebrow to the door, but he didn’t stop. You peek in, still trying to remain unseen. “You like what you see?” Zoro teased as he looked over to you. You instantly felt embarrassed and hot. “Cmere. Maybe you can help me out.” Zoro knew you were there the whole time; he was just giving you a show.

You shyly slip into his room, shutting the door behind you. You averted your gaze from him as best as you could, though you did sneak glances at his cock as he fucked his hand. “I-I can go-“

“No,” Zoro growled. He turned to you, no longer jacking himself off. His cock throbbed and leaked precum. You were practically drooling and there was an unbearable heat from your core. “Come here baby girl,” he purred. “Get down on your knees for me, would ya?”

You bit your lip and whimpered. You definitely couldn’t walk away now. You refused to let a single drop of his cum go to waste. You walked up to him and gave him a quick kiss, then kissed his neck down to his chest, then to his abdomen. You kissed down his v-line then the tip of his cock. He smirked and pet your head, then grabbed a fistful of your hair. You looked up at him as you gently grabbed the base of his cock. You began to pepper his shaft with kisses, then dragged your tongue from the base to the tip. Zoro whimpered and bit his lip. “Such a good girl,” he praised you as he tugged your hair, forcing you to look up at him. You looked up at him through hooded, lustful eyes and bit your lip. Zoro parted your lips with his cock and your eyes rolled back as he bottomed out in your throat. “Oh, such a good girl,” he repeated breathily. “You take my cock so good,” he moaned.

You started to bob your head up and down his cock, guided by Zoro. He groaned and huffed as he fucked your throat, getting closer and closer to orgasm. You fought back gags as tears stung your eyes in the best way possible. You used a free hand to stroke his cock while you suck him off. He threw his head back and moaned as the grip on your hair tightened. You hollowed out your cheeks while bobbing up and down and stroking him. Zoro released your hair only to grip the sides of your head. You gasped softly at the sudden move, then Zoro went to town pounding into your throat, abusing the back of it. A few tears rolled down your cheeks. His cock was so messy and spit was everywhere. You opened your throat and made gagging noises around his cock. He began to growl while he fucked your face.

“You gonna swallow my cum?” he groaned breathlessly between thrusts. “Gonna be a good cum dumpster and swallow all my cum?” You moaned around his cock, eyes rolling back while he bruised your throat. In your mind you were begging him to fill your throat, you wanted his cum so bad, you weren’t going to waste a single drop. “Are you ready?” Zoro moaned. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna fill that pretty little mouth of yours, I’m gonna ruin your throat,” he continued to mutter dirty things to you while nearing his orgasm. After a few more thrusts he muttered, “C-Cum- Cumming,” and filled your mouth with cum. You swallowed his load, then continued to suck his cock a little more to make sure you got every drop of cum from him. He grabbed your jaw and made you look up at him. Breathlessly he said, “You did so good. I have a fun idea for this next part..” He smirked as he grabbed his phone. “Take off your clothes. Let’s make a video,” he purred.

“Oh God yes,” you whimpered as you started to strip. You could tell it was about to be a long, long day.

[because-she-goes]

angel

warnings: none, just some sweet fluff. Enjoy!

Now nearing their 30s, Matty and Nora settled down a bit. Getting tired of sipping seltzers, wine and beers in a club surrounded by people much drunker than them. The pair was tired of being surrounded by heads and bodies that were under the influence of their old vices. The splendor of a sweaty, loud club at 3am now faded. The millennials now have a habit of spending their birthdays with a bottle of wine, a take away and cheesy romcom of the birthday person’s choice. It was Nora’s favorite night of the year, her and Matty cuddled on a couch, eating greasy pizza and downing red wine giggling over how ridiculous the idea of Heath Ledger trying to pass as a highschool boy was.

“Oh come on, he looks like he’s 30! What are they talking about?” Matty would holler at the TV every now and then, sending her into a howl before telling him to sush as she tried to focus on her movie.

“He’s still cute though I mean come on! The part where he sings on the bleachers? You don’t find it romantic at all?” She challenges.

“Okay, fine, maybe it is a bit hot…” He relents.

She smiles in victory, fixing the sherpa blanket across her lap. He leans forward and refills their wines and grabs a bite of pizza. The candles and soft lighting illuminating her love’s face magically, flickering warm tones reflected in the deep, brown eyes she swears she could swim in sometimes. Heath’s got nothing on her boy, she thinks.

She bends to the large wooden table in front of them, eyes not leaving the screen. She sips the Malbec with a hum. Cool against her tongue, it slides down her throat slowly, smoothly, sweetly. She leans back into Matty, his arm cradling her shoulder and pulling her closer. He kisses her forehead as they watch Kat and Patrick in the paint scene, as they tumble into the pile of hay laughing before Patrick leans on top of her and kisses Kat slowly and leaves a wet, cool, bluish handprint to her cheek. Kat takes the opportunity to smash a green paint balloon over his head.

“My kind of woman! Get him Kat!” Nora cheers, Matty looks at her and laughs under his breath.

Matty takes this opportunity of her being so engrossed in the movie to head to their kitchen. He thinks back to the first night they moved into this place - their California home. How they had basically a suitcase or so each to hold them over before everything was shipped, unpacked and sorted. That first night, they went out to the beach with a picnic and had dinner as the sun disappeared over the coastline. It is one of Matty’s favorite memories, them in the sand with their cheese, wine and take away pasta. Nora in her white button down and those jean shorts he loved. They spent all night out there, a bit wine drunk, comparing constellations and listening to the waves. He couldn't have been happier. He was - and will forever be - in a state of bliss knowing Nora is his for eternity. That they will have countless more wine and pizza birthdays, beach picnics, facetime dates while he is away on tour, art shows to be her date to, basketball games to have arguments over and little ones to chase after.

He takes out the chocolate ganache cake he ordered from their local bakery, and places two pink candles in it. A 3 and 0, he also put in an extra gold one for good luck in this next year. Flicking off the lights, and setting the candles aflame he began his march to their entertainment room.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, Nora Healy! Happy birthday to you!” He sings, his voice growing more and more goddy as he stepped in front of her. Her heart feels like it is going to swell to the point of bursting as she looks at him from her seat on the couch, tears in her eyes and a trembling smile on her face.

“Thank You, my sweet boy! I love you so so so much, you are far too good for me.” She replies, beaming at him. She pulls her hair into a makeshift pony tail and stands to blow out her candles. He sets the cake down and wraps his arm around her waist, dipping her like they are in these movies she loves. Kissing her cheeks, then forehead then finally her lips. Romantic, soft and sweet - no lust behind the affectionate kiss. He wants this night to be enchanting, not spent in any rush. They sit back down right as the movie is coming to a close, Nora slices up two generous portions and hands a plate to her Handsome. He takes it gratefully and before the plate is even in front of him he takes a forkfull and his eyes roll back to his skull. Moaning into the utensil, it is some of the best chocolate cake he had ever had. Nora takes some and reciprocates the action, agreeing.

The last scene starts playing. Kat makes her way after school to her car and spots her dream guitar in the passenger seat. A stunning all white Fender strat. Patrick comes up behind her smiling, watching the shock on her face as she holds the instrument. He tells her that he got it for her, for when she starts her band - revealing that he had used the money he was being paid to date her towards getting the guitar. She melts and he takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply. Her hand reaches up to his hair and neck and they share one of the greatest movie kisses Nora has ever seen. Tears now in Matty’s eyes he looks at Nora, chocolate cake in parts of his teeth and weeps.

“He got her her dream guitar. Oh my god this movie is too good!”

Laughing at his dramatics, she hugs him and kisses the top of his head.

“Thank You for making this my favorite birthday, Handsome. I love you and who knows, maybe someday I’ll buy you your dream guitar!”

“You will?” He asks, looking at her from the hug.

“Happily, my love!”

“What did you wish for, Honey?”

“Didn’t have to wish for anything if I already got you, my Angel.” She smiles down at him, he melts. It’s true though, every birthday since they met she has wished for another year with him - nothing else making her happier. No-one else making her happier. She couldn’t see herself loving anybody, but him for the rest of her life.

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @andromedaexists! It's cool your names have connections to family and saints, and that you've tried so many things/sports. Your cats sound adorable (though this goes without saying for cats perhaps).

As for myself:

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes! My mom wanted to give me a "hippie" name like Freedom or Windsong or something, but my dad would have none of it. In one of their rare instances of compromise, they settled on naming me after a folk/pop singer who was big in the 70s. If I decide to change it at some point, I'll probably choose something very similar in spelling/sound.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like two days ago while thinking about a scene where a character experiences Gender Thoughts (positive). And the day before that while listening to talks on medieval history about humans being humans. Then last weekend, while watching Puss In Boots with my partner. Look, it's not outright sobbing and tears, but I do mist up a lot, okay? For someone who had to numb their emotions to survive much of their childhood and teen years, I appreciate this actually. That despite whatever pain I've experienced it couldn't stop me from recognizing and overflowing at the pleasure and beauty all around me.

3. Do you have kids? No, and no plans to. I'm content with my affection for the children of others in my life.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I think so? I definitely used to, though I think I've cut back on it significantly.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? The way they speak and how they communicate in general. Accents, idioms, whether they're confident (and if that confidence is bravado or well-founded), is their choice of words vibe-based or definition-based, etc. I'll recognize someone's voice before their face tbh. 😅

6. What’s your eye color? Brown. I get compliments on them.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Both? Depends on my mood. I always love a "hard-earned happy ending", though. Those Situations really did a number on my blorbos, but they kept on keeping on. That sort of thing.

8. Any special talents? Defying expectations, I guess? I often apply for jobs/sign up for experiences where the people in charge just go, Um, are you sure you're supposed to be here? And I'm like, Sure, why not, let's go. Then I do pretty well at whatever it is and they're impressed, mostly because they thought I couldn't/wouldn't stick around. People also seem to generally like my baking.

9. Where were you born? Northern California, USA.

10. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, little art projects, video games, gardening, baking, thinking too much, harassing various invertebrates, sea creatures, and neighborhood animals with my affection/fascination

11. Have you any pets? A cat named Mimi! She was a stray I agreed to adopt from a friend on Discord while drunk. This remains my best decision made while under the influence.

12. What sports do you play/have played? I did martial arts for the last seven years, including fighting in like 4 tournaments. I put it aside since college takes a lot of my energy now. Also, training is expensive, and the culture around it sucks pretty often. I'd like to get back into it one day, just with people who value it for reasons similar to mine.

13. How tall are you? 5' 8". I'm too American to be measured in cm (joke joke this is a joke the metric system and I are buds).

14. Favorite subject in school? Before college, lit/reading. As an adult, I really enjoy history and anthropology related stuff too.

15. Dream job? Making a living off my silly little gay vampire stories. But I'd settle for translating fiction between Spanish and English.

Copy/Paste for mobile users: 1. Are you named after anyone? 2. When was the last time you cried? 3. Do you have kids? 4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? 6. What’s your eye color? 7. Scary movies or happy endings? 8. Any special talents? 9. Where were you born? 10. What are your hobbies? 11. Have you any pets? 12. What sports do you play/have played? 12. What sports do you play/have played? 13. How tall are you? 14. Favorite subject in school? 15. Dream job?

No pressure tags (and no pressure to answer any questions you don't want to ofc) @vacantgodling @korblez @space-cadead @afoolandathief @cljordan-imperium @late-to-the-fandom @thecyrulik @blind-the-winds @muddshadow @theskeletonprior @rosieartsie @letsmakeitwrite @k--havok @likegemstone @thatndginger

[shannybanany93]

Thank you for the tag @29rynoah! This was so fun!!!

The game is to find the words given by the tagger in your wips and then tag whoever you want with new words to find.

tagging @tonguetiedraven and @marble-wolf (if you want)

your words: connection, burn, eyebrow, mood, lift

my words were: sky, tears, laugh, fingers, treasure

sky

Renzou slapped his hands onto his knees and leaned forward enthusiastically like he was being clued into a juicy secret, the prospect of a fresh romance lighting up his features. “And how long have ya had a crush on this mystery person?”

“Since I met ‘em, I think.”

“Whaddya mean you ‘think’?” Renzou’s face scrunched up in confusion, pulling back a little like Rin’s uncertainty had personally offended him.

“Uh...well,” Rin fumbled for a moment, unsure of how to explain. Scratching his chin, Rin tilted his head back to stare up at the sky, the drifting clouds overhead providing a welcome distraction from the way Renzou was studying him. Was there a right way to answer? “Have you ever thought you just thought a guy was really cool only to realize you definitely wanna make out with him?” Rin tentatively asked, looking back at his friend as he felt his cheeks start to heat up with the admission. Renzou immediately looked far too understanding and he didn’t like that one bit.

“Can’t say that I have. Have ya told this super cool guy you wanna make out with him?” Renzou asked with a small smile that was equal parts teasing and genuinely curious. Rin snorted humorlessly and rolled his eyes.

“As if. He’s so far out of my league it feels like a divine punishment.”

tears

A snippet from the small bit of my Atlantis AU I have written while I’m still tinkering with the idea. As of my current notes/outlines it’s more aoex if it was Atlantis influenced rather than a full AU.

His lips curled back over long, sharp, deadly teeth, snarling out a series of growls, deep rumbles that seemed to come directly from his chest rather than vocal cords, and raspy, rolling hisses.

A whimpered “Bon”  from Renzou drew a quick flick of his eyes, unwilling to fully pull his attention from the threat in front of him. Tears were streaking down his friend's face as he shakily held his khakkhara defensively, Konekomaru angling his body to shield the beads wrapped around Ryuuji’s hand from view. Warmth flooded his chest, the sight of their unceasing loyalty enough to stall Ryuuji’s panic stricken brain long enough to really hear the terrifying sounds being directed at them.

His gaze snapped back to the demon at the head of the group, taking in his passive stance and nearly bursting with excitement as Ryuuji identified the language of Gehenna.

He was trying to communicate.

laugh

Bon/Rin established relationship, the boys get assigned a mission together complete with shoddy disguises!

Rin flapped his hand dismissively. “Yeah yeah, whatever. I’m just sayin’, I don’t see why we can’t look good while doing it. ‘Sides, look at all this neat stuff Light has! Why waste the opportunity?”

“There are plenty of other opportunities. This is serious,” Ryuuji scolded, face still buried in the box of props and entirely missing the way that Rin’s mouth popped open at the implications of that statement. 

Tossing aside the cowboy hat he’d been holding, Rin reached out for Ryuuji, gripping onto his bicep to get his attention.

“Other…do you guys dress up often?!” Rin practically shrieked when their eyes met.

“It’s not dressin' up! We’re concealing our identities!” The bright blush that spread across his cheeks immediately contradicted the words. Lewin definitely got far too much enjoyment from the many absurd getups he’d forced Ryuuji into ‘for the good of the mission’.

Rin smirked, his lips twitching under the pressure of a barely contained laugh, and quirked one eyebrow up in a clear challenge. “Sounds like a fancy way to say dressin’ up to me.”

fingers

True Cross Academy gets its own romantic advice column entirely because I’m a sap and half the cram group are not so secretly also saps!

Dearest Readers,

Today's submission comes from someone feeling hopeless in their pursuit of love. Their admired is strong willed and intelligent, but perhaps a little too busy for romance? Not to worry, my kogitsune! All you have to do is show that you’re worth diverting some of their time and attention! Small acts of consideration that show you value their interests are the best way to capture their heart! If they’ve had a long day hard at work, try dropping by with a warm meal. Show that you respect where their priorities lie while proving you’re able to be a part of it! Best of luck, admirer, let us know of your successes!

Love, Otohime gitsune ♡

Rin nearly squealed with his excitement, fingers trailing reverently over the words on his screen. They’d answered his submission! And they made it all sound so easy. All he had to do was prove he was worth Ryuuji’s time.

Dropping his phone onto his desk, Rin turned to pace around his room while he worked out how to use this advice. He couldn’t do exactly what the post said, half the cram group followed the blog and it would be immediately obvious. Maybe something a little different but still the same type of act? A glance at the time showed that Ryuuji would surely be in the library right now for a frenzied study session before he had to meet Light. Maybe a caffeinated drink since his nights with his new master seemed to be getting longer and longer? Rin could grab him a snack too, something good for energy and sure to actually be helpful with all the responsibilities Ryuuji had taken on.

Grinning, Rin snatched up his phone and wallet and bolted for the door, mind racing with possible ideas to show Ryuuji how much he cared. He could prove that he wouldn’t hold Ryuuji back.

I don’t have any with treasure, but now I’m determined to work it in somewhere lol

[vigilantdesert]

So, this isn't really my wheelhouse, but it does come up often enough that I felt the need to address it because it's common enough fanon:

I do think that the Twili, Gerudo, and Sheikah share a common ancestor, but I don't think it actually affects things very much, save from a theological standpoint. Let me explain:

I interpret the original Golden Goddesses creation myth with influence from Hylia. Farore is originally given dominion over life, but I've sort of interpreted that as her creating humanoid life. I think that Din created the Gorons (Which is simultaneously the least and most controversial part of this, since Din was originally closely associated with the Gerudo, but the Gorons have always worshipped Din as a mother figure alongside venerating Death Mountain), Nayru created the Zora (Which is one of the weaker parts of this, but to be fair the Zora do co-opt her imagery and are vaguely associated with Wisdom as a guiding philosophy? Enh it's a weak point I admit), and Farore created the Gerudo ancestors. I say ancestors because, as far as I've concerned, no matter how far back we go, either to TOTK or Skyward Sword, we haven't actually seen an actual creation myth for the land that would become Hyrule. Rauru may genuinely have been the first king of Hyrule! King William the 1st was the first king of England, but there were people there before he sailed over from France, weren't there?

Long story short, I think that Hylians/Zonai/whatever we're calling them these days were created by Hylia either as attendants or to assist in her fight against the demon army that she was WOEFULLY under prepared for, then they were set loose to compete with the Gerudo/Twili/Sheikah ancestors that were already on the ground, as it were.

Now, I do think they had already separated by this time, since the Twili have always been strong magic-users, and even in Ocarina of Time, the Sheikah don't bear much resemblance to the Gerudo (though I'll mention that Impa is extremely tall and buff for a Hylian build in that game, so maybe there's more to it than I'm giving it credit for). If pressed, I'd say that the Sheikah decided to join Hylia for incredibly inexplicable reasons, while the Twili and Gerudo fought back to varying degrees. Personally, I interweave this with the Gerudo starting to lose their men, which caused them to have a population crisis and fall back, but the Twili doubled down. Thus, the Twili were banished to the Twilight Realm, the Gerudo were pushed back into the desert, and the Sheikah were allowed to stay but were on perpetual thin ice and were usually the first to get axed in times of trouble.

This also sort of leads me into the Watsonian answer to why the Gerudo are listed as separate than Hylians or Sheikah in Tears of the Kingdom. This comes with the caveat that the real answer is unfortunately still real world grossness, a combination of orientalism and good old fashioned racism, but by and large, I do use the Watsonian answer in fics and writing in general. To make a long story short, a Gerudo woman will always give birth to a phenotypically Gerudo child, which is to say they'll grow up to be very tall, very physically muscular, have dark red hair that fades to pink, not white, and be phenotypically female (though I do think there are higher rates of intersex Gerudo, but that's  a different discussion for another day). This is regardless of whether the other genetic component is a Hylian, Sheikah, or another Gerudo. In fact, during my great Hyrulean survey, I can say confidently that the only traits that consistently can be donated from a Hylian father are pointed ears, skin tone, and I think that brown eyes might have popped up from Hylians, since in OOT and FSA the only Gerudo eye colors are green and yellow (brown eyes in Gerudo in totk/botw are still pretty are though, so they might be a recessive gene). To Nintendo's very little credit, there are a few animals irl that can do this (there's a shark species, a few other bony fish, and I think there's a type of lizard that can reproduce with other lizard species close to its taxonomy, but the resulting offspring is always the dominant lizard species parent).

Anyway, this is all to say I do think they share a common ancestor, but I don't think it actually affects any of the groups culturally at this point and it's mostly a quirk of ancient history and to some degree biology.

[sparatus]

Foreigner’s God and Arsonist’s Lullaby for the hozier asks c:

ohhh those are good ones ty bb

Hozier Song Title Questions

Foreigner's God: Does religion play a role in your narrative? If so, how?

mmmmm this is a really good question and also one of my fav hozier songs love this one

so ik you know this but for the uninitiated i'm a recovering catholic, lots of religious trauma, raised in the faith and had a liiiittle bit of a mental break crisis of faith in 8th grade, blah blah blah one tragic backstory later here i am Totally Coping With It In A Healthy Way

my religious trauma and struggle with faith influenced a lot of my earlier original works, which have been further developed and refined as i got older and more stable - i have an entire universe with my partner where all the stuff we do with angels and demons stems from sympathy for the devil (and projection onto lucifer himself, oops). it's been really cathartic for me and helped me come to terms with my experiences in the roman catholic faith.

for a more specific focus on exdiff: religion in a futuristic scifi setting is endlessly fascinating to me, and i have a lot of characters who toy with it - one of my favorite things to posit is, when encountering deities or the dead/afterlife, are they really that, or are they the character's brain seeing what they think they should be seeing? and how much does it truly matter to them? taeja especially is one of my favorites specifically because of her intensely complicated relationship with her faith, as a victim of religious abuse who has shucked off the organized part of her religion but still holds true to the god she's devoted herself to and the rites and tenets of such, choosing her own path and method of belief rather than what her abusive family and society tried to force her into. in an otherwise very science-heavy setting, it's interesting to me to see how the two can intersect.

Arsonist's Lullaby: What do you do when you get the feeling to tear it all up and start again?

i mean usually for me that urge comes from RSD either not getting enough attention or not getting the kind of attention i want, or just getting stuck in one spot and getting frustrated. usually what i end up doing is just kinda... taking a step back, leaving it alone, going to work on something else that i do enjoy or just not writing for a bit at all and playing video games or whatever (like, say, coming up with like 5 potential new wips when exdiff is fighting me...). if there's a social element, i'll withdraw from that for a little while, only really hang out in spaces that aren't hitting me with the RSD stick, even if that's literally just dms with one or two people. then once i feel like coming back to it, i can go back to it with fresh eyes and decide whether it's actually as bad as i thought it was or if i can salvage it somehow either with editing or figuring out where the block is and what i want to get to instead. the main hard part is really giving myself permission to set it down and do something else, tbh, because i want to keep updating, but sometimes i just.... need to go stab people in the desert a bit, yknow? (note to fbi tom: that was an assassin's creed joke)

and sometimes ill just straight up go fishing for compliments among my friends, i'm not above begging my friends to tell me how great i am when i need the ego boost even if i. dont necessarily admit i need an ego boost lol,,,,,

[obeymeoasis]

The First Time They Say “I Love You”

Lucifer

At first you just did small things, like cleaning up the used coffee cups on his desk. Things that you wanted to do for him because he was so tired all the time. But after you pointed out a calculation error in a R.A.D organization’s monthly expense sheet, Lucifer started relying on you more. He often asked you to do a final scan over documents before he submitted them to Diavolo just in case he missed anything.

You found that your work styles were very similar: extremely organized, detail-oriented, and meticulous. You enjoyed spending time in Lucifer’s office. And helping him with his work meant that he got done more quickly and had more time to spend with you. 

Right now he was at his desk, furiously scanning through a stack of papers. You could tell he hadn’t slept in a while. The buttons at his throat were undone and he had dark smudges underneath his eyes. Somebody had apparently mixed up the schedule for an upcoming series of lectures and Lucifer was left to solve the problem.

You shut the door behind you slowly and carefully made your way over, trying your best to balance the tea tray and multiple folders you were holding. "Here, Luci. I brought you peppermint tea and shortbread. You should have some while you work, you look absolutely exhausted.” He looked up at you and smiled gratefully, a private smile that only you got to see. “Thank you MC, I appreciate it.”

You then handed him the thick folders. “Also, these are all of the invoices from last week’s alumni dinner party. I thought they were a bit messy to look at so I organized them into different categories based on the business and then sorted the purchases sequentially. Also, I calculated the total expenses and thankfully we were able to stay under budget.”

Lucifer's mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes widened, looking at you as if you'd done something incredibly strange. You asked self-consciously, "Is... is something on my face?"

With the same bewildered expression on his face he said "MC... I love you."

You laughed, a little startled. "Why, because I organized some files for you?"

"Well, yes. No. I mean yes and no. It's not just the files, it's everything. The way you're always thinking of me and taking care of me. The way we work well together. The way I can trust you with anything. I love you, MC. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say so."

You felt your cheeks flush with happiness. "Well... I love you too, you know. A lot. Now hurry up and finish your work so that we can spend some actual time together."

Lucifer laughed gently and then reached to take your hand in his, pressing a delicate kiss against your fingers. "Anything for you."

Mammon

You were at the casino with Mammon on a Wednesday night. On school nights he usually went alone because you were busy with homework. But tonight he looked so lonely as he headed for the door that something spurred you to put on a jacket and run after him.

When you took his hand in yours, he turned to look at you in surprise and the most radiant smile lit his face. “You’re coming with me, baby?”

The first couple of hours weren’t bad. Mammon brought you small plates of food and you were content to just watch as he flourished in his natural environment. You smiled amusedly at his antics, the way he bantered with the dealer, how he yelled in delight when he won and how pouty he became when he lost.

But pretty soon the long day of classes caught up to you and you could feel your eyelids growing heavy. You were tucked into a small table in the corner, away from the other guests but still visible to Mammon out of the corner of his eye. You figured no one would mind so you laid your arm on the table and rested your head in the crook of your arm. Within a couple of seconds, you were deep asleep.

Meanwhile, Mammon was having some of the best luck he’d had recently at the blackjack table. He turned to where you were sitting to give you a smile and boast about his winnings a little, only to have his heart clench tightly at the sight of you. 

You looked absolutely adorable, sleeping with a little smile on your face. It must have been a little cold for you in the casino because you were curled up tightly against yourself. Mammon flushed at how cute you looked and then felt a sudden rush of emotion. 

Even though you were tired, you still took the time to come out with him tonight. He knew these places weren’t really your thing but you never complained, you genuinely just wanted to be with him. And that was something Mammon wasn’t really used to.

You stirred at the sensation of Mammon draping his jacket across your shoulders. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you looked up to ask: “Hey Mams, how’s your luck been tonight?”

He stood silently for a moment before enveloping you into a sudden, crushing hug. “I-I love you, MC. I really love you.” You were startled and tried to move back to get a look at his face but Mammon wouldn’t budge. “No, don’t look at me. I’m probably super red. But I need to tell you how much I love you. I kinda realized it just now that there’s no one like you. No one who cares for me, who accepts all of me like you do. Thank you for always being here.”

You could feel tears forming in your eyes and buried your face against Mammon’s chest. “Oh, Mams. I love you too. I can’t imagine how alone you must have felt, especially the way your brothers treat you sometimes. But I’m here now, okay? I’ll always be on your side.”

You heard Mammon’s breath hitch a little before he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

Leviathan

You came to discover that there were a lot of little holidays in the Devildom, an occasional day or two when you didn’t have to go to classes. Sometimes you took the opportunity to travel to the human world, often to pick up small necessities or bring back foods you missed.

Today you were here to pick up something specific: strawberry preserves. You had brought back a jar from the human world recently and after having a bite, Levi had practically eaten the whole jar by himself. The preserves were the specialty of a local farm close to your house and Levi absolutely loved them.

Since you were there, you decided to pick up some different jars as well. An employee carefully packaged the jars of strawberry, peach, blueberry, and cherry preserves so that they wouldn't accidentally break on the journey. What he didn't know was that you would actually be travelling between completely different worlds.

As soon as you were back in the Devildom, you quickly made your way to Levi's room with your purchases. He was in the middle of playing a game but when he heard you come in, he turned around to welcome you back. "Hey, MC. How was your trip? What are all those boxes for?"

You opened the topmost one and showed him the little glass jar with the floral pattern on the lid. "I picked more of these up for you today, along with some other flavors I thought it would be nice to try."

Upon recognizing what it was, Levi immediately set down his controller. "MC, this is awesome! I love you!" You froze in shock at his words and it took Levi a couple of seconds before he realized what he had said. He too froze so that the two of you stood there, Levi bright red, neither moving or speaking.

Levi was the one to eventually break the silence. "I-I didn't mean that! Ignore me just now! I don't know what I'm saying." Your heart sank in disappointment. You had merely been shocked that Levi felt the same way about you as you did him. But now he was saying he didn't mean it?

Your disappointment must have been evident on your face because Levi stammered out, "I-I mean, I do mean it! It's just- aargh, this isn't how I wanted to say- Ugh, I don't know what to-" You decided it was best to just be upfront with him. "Listen Levi, I love you a lot. Have for a while now. Can I ask you how you feel about me?"

If he was bright red before, Levi's face looked almost neon red now. He stared at you open mouthed, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You- You love me? Really? You aren't making fun of me or something?" You couldn't help but huff in response. "Levi, am I seriously the type of person who would make fun of you about this?"

It seemed to finally sink in for him then. "No, no you're not. MC, I- I love you too. Ah, I can't believe I said it out loud!" He clapped his hands over his mouth and you giggled at how adorably flustered he looked.

"Hey Levi, now that we know how we feel about each other, is it okay if I give you a kiss?" Levi practically fainted then, and you had to run down to the kitchens to get him a glass of water.

Satan

Satan was used to being alone. None of his brothers or classmates really shared any of his interests and he found that he much preferred being by himself. He was always too engrossed with his books and research that he never considered himself to be lonely.

That is, until he met you. You were somehow able to slowly inch yourself into his heart and without realizing it had become the most important person to him.

The other day, he found a funny quote in one of the novels he was reading and made a note of it to show you later. Then he started thinking about how much his daily routine included you in some way. You had classes together, ate meals together, talked and laughed together, and read late into the night together, enjoying each other’s company.

He realized that he was a lot happier now. Not that he was exactly unhappy before, but it was different with you. He was a lot more relaxed, more prone to smile and laugh. And a lot of it had to do with your influence and the time you spent together.

You were both reading in his room. There was a comfortable, relaxing silence and the atmosphere was especially cozy because of all the lit candles. You had prepared a tray for Satan: a plate of rosemary biscuits and a pot of black tea to wash them down with. This was another thing he appreciated about you; you were always taking care of him.

Both of you were engrossed in your books for a while, until suddenly you could feel Satan staring at you. You marked the page you were on and turned to him, a smile playing on your lips. “Is there something I can help you with?”

He looked at you for a few moments, unsmiling. You frowned, thinking there was something wrong, but before you could say anything Satan said “I just wanted to let you know that I love you dearly.”

You were surprised to say the least. Satan wasn’t really the type to talk about his feelings this explicitly. But after the initial shock, you realized how happy you were that the person you loved felt the same way about you. Satan didn’t let people into his life and into his heart that easily.

It was only when you heard Satan say “Oh love, I didn’t mean to make you cry” that you realized tears were streaming down your cheeks. You put down your book and practically flung yourself into his arms. He hugged you back tightly and waited until you were calm enough to speak. “I love you too Satan, so much. You mean the absolute world to me.”

You laughed wetly, thinking it funny that you were crying during one of the happiest moments of your life. Satan smiled at you fondly before handing you a handkerchief so that you could dry your eyes. 

You spent the rest of the night in his lap, smiling and giggling as he attempted to read you a story out loud.

Asmodeus

These kinds of days rarely happened, but they happened nonetheless. Mean, ugly days when no matter what outfit he tried on, it didn’t look right. No matter how much time he put into styling his hair, it just looked flat and dull. And his makeup seemed to refuse to cooperate with what he had in mind.

On these kinds of days Asmo locked himself in his room under the pretense of “needing self-care”. He hated having to speak with others because their usual compliments just sounded mocking and fake to his ears.

Asmo remembered an incident when one of his admirers had complimented his hairstyle and he had snapped at her furiously: “Shut up! Don’t make fun of me!” before storming away. He was incredibly embarrassed about it and apologized profusely to her. Since then, he figured it was safer to just hide out in his room.

But it was hard to be alone in his room when you were already there. You knew something was up with Asmo when you texted him saying "Hey, could you help me pick out a new coat?" and he replied with "Maybe another time, sorry darling!" He would have never refused an opportunity to go shopping with you.

So you raced to his room after classes and thankfully managed to slip in while Asmo was in the kitchen gathering some snacks. When he saw you standing in his room you could see he struggled to act nonchalant. "Darling! I didn't know you'd be here. I'm sorry, but I'm feeling a bit under the weather today. I wouldn't want you to catch anything so it'd probably be best if you went to your room."

Your heart clenched at the blatant lie. "Oh Asmo, I'll leave if you really want to be alone. But just know that I'm here for you. Whatever it is, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I want to be your strength."

You could see the conflict in Asmo's eyes as he stood quietly for a couple of minutes. You were about to turn around and leave, giving him some alone time, but he suddenly blurted out "I feel ugly today. I feel disgusting and horrible and hideous."

Asmo closed his eyes, embarrassed at his outburst and also dreading what inevitably came next: empty compliments and false flattery. He didn't want to be told he was beautiful when he didn't believe it.

But instead, you surprised him by enveloping him in a strong embrace. You alternated between gently patting his back and smoothing his hair and were rewarded with feeling the tension leave his body. You didn’t say anything, just continued to hold Asmo and wipe away the few stray tears on his cheeks.

Eventually you moved him to his bed, Asmo’s head lying on your chest and his arms wrapped around your waist. You weren’t sure how much time had passed but he seemed to be much calmer. He tilted his head up to look at you, his eyes searching your face, before almost whispering “I love you”. Your eyes widened in surprise. “You seem to always know what to do, MC, how to put me back together again. You’re honest with me and you actually listen to what I’m saying. I love you. Please stay with me forever.”

The two of you fell asleep like that, Asmo’s head on your chest and your hands intertwined. 

Beelzebub

Beel was a bit nervous, considering this was one of the most important Fangol games he had ever played in. Not only was it against their rival school, but also Beel’s coach had let him know that there would be scouters from the professional league coming to watch for potential talent.

It was too bad that you wouldn’t be able to watch him play. He considered you a very important part of his game-day routine. In the morning, you always made him a hearty breakfast and at the pre-game warmup, he frequently went to you for kisses and headpats. He considered you to be his good luck charm.

Unfortunately, you weren’t feeling well. You kept having bad stomach pain and the doctor had said it was probably your body reacting to some unfamiliar Devildom food. You were currently lying down in your room with a heating pad on and some warm green tea.

Beel missed you terribly. It had only been a few hours since he had last seen you but he couldn’t help but feel lonely. You were always there shouting and cheering for him on game days which made your absence feel that much larger.

His teammates and coaches could tell that something was off with him. They kept coming by to ruffle his hair or pat him on the shoulder and ask, “Is everything okay?” and “Don’t worry, you’ll do great!” 

Beel knew he was being silly. He would go see you right after the game! And yet his heart wasn’t in it during the pre-game stretches. He kept spacing out and staring at the wall instead of actually getting ready.

Suddenly, one of the assistant coaches came into the room. “Beel! MC is here! Now hurry up and stop moping around!” He saw you behind the coach looking a bit uncomfortable, your stomach must have still been bothering you. But you were also smiling at your little surprise.

Beel ran up to you and hugged you gently. “MC! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in bed? Are you okay? Are you feeling better?” You laughed at his barrage of questions before reaching up on your tip-toes to give him a pat on his head. “I’m still in a bit of pain but I wanted to be here. I couldn’t miss such an important game! Now what’s this about you moping around?”

Beel blushed and ducked his head before mumbling, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” You laughed again and Beel’s heart soared at the sound. He was suddenly struck with the realization of how much he loved you. You, who always had his back, who was always there to support him and motivate him. 

He wrapped his arms around you and whispered in your ear, “Thanks for being here, MC. I love you so much, you know. Sometimes it feels like my heart is going to burst.” Your arms tightened around him in response. “I feel the same way Beel, I love you so much. Now go and win this game, okay? Show them how amazing you are.”

After the game, Beel was surrounded by his coaches excitedly telling him about how many scouters were interested in seeing him play again. But all Beel could think about was having you in his arms again.

Belphegor

It occurred to Belphie one day after class as he was walking down the hallway. There was a couple leaning against the locker, engaged in a full display of public affection. They kept giggling and yelling “I love you!” at each other. Belphie fake gagged a little before moving past them.

But then it occurred to him. Is that kind of thing something... you wanted? Your relationship was relatively new both in terms of time and in that this was something Belphie wasn’t really experienced with. You were one of the people that knew him best though, apart from his brothers, and Belphie had just assumed that it would be okay to continue acting as he had always had around you.

What if secretly this was something you wanted as well? All of the endearments and displays of affection. Belphie hadn’t even- hadn’t even said the “L” word to you yet. This continued to trouble him even as he lied down for his afternoon nap. In his dreams he kept seeing visions of you crying while looking on enviously at other couples and asking, “Why can’t we be like that?”

By the time he sat down at dinner, Belphie was exhausted. And you of course noticed, especially since he was eating a lot less than he normally did. After dinner the two of you made your way to his room, where you were getting out some textbooks to study and he lied back down on his bed. “Hey Belphie, is everything okay? You seem a lot more listless than usual.

Belphie stared at you, contemplating whether to tell you what was going on. But in the end he decided against it. “It’s nothing, MC. Don’t worry about it.” His voice definitely didn’t sound like it was nothing. “Okay, Belphie. But let me know if you want to talk about anything, okay? I’m always here.”

For the next hour or so, you studied for your classes while Belphie tormented himself. He did love you. But he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings, especially in the way the couple in the hall had. What if that now you were dating, you expected him to change? Would he even be able to? Frustrated at the swirling questions in his mind, Belphie ended up blurting out “I love you!” to your back.

You turned around in your chair slowly, surprised at his sudden intensity. “I... love you too. Belphie, is everything okay? You’ve been acting strange all day.” He sighed. “MC, you know what kind of demon I am. I’m not good at all the... lovey-dovey stuff that other couples do. But if that’s what you want, I can at least try to be different.”

You shook your head. “I... honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I know how you feel about me, Belphie. I don’t need you to be like “the other couples” because I fell in love with you and who you are. I don’t expect you to be someone you’re not. Where are you even getting the idea that I want something other than what we have?”

Ah, Belphie really did love you. There was no one else in the world that knew him so completely and still loved and accepted all parts of him. And... he just realized that he had said “I love you” for the first time by practically shouting it while your back was turned.

He got up and stood next to his desk. You were sitting and looking up at him, concern evident on your face. He smiled and leaned down to kiss you gently before mouthing against your lips, “I love you, MC.”

You could feel how hot your cheeks were as he moved away and went to lie back down on his bed. You pretended to be unbothered, flipping randomly through your textbook, but none of the words made any sense. You mumbled under your breath, “”You’re pretty good at lovey-dovey stuff.”

[ayamturd]

late│technoblade

summary: three times you said i love you, and the one time technoblade says it back

prompt: “I’d do anything for you, whether or not you ask me to”

warnings: fluff and major angst, blood and death descriptions, dsmp spoilers

pairing: in-game romantic!technoblade

a/n: this is my entry for @burntcilantro​‘s 500 writing event!! much love and congratulatory to min, they’re an amazing writer and an even better person (they’re so nice, give them the support they deserve)

also i separated some of the dsmp events and spaced them out (so there’s more time between for plot purposes lol)

wc: (2.0k) - m.list

“Why are you so stupid?”

You were sat on top of a chest, holding one leg with your arms while the other was currently being wrapped by Technoblade. While you giggled at his insult, you winced once he tightened the gauze on your ankle with a glare. 

“It’s not funny, y/n.” He leaned down to bite off the rest of the wrapping, finishing the fold as you huffed at his seriousness.

“I told you to watch the house, not climb onto the roof and play a fun game of risk. What were you thinking?”

His stare was heavy and made you feel little as he looked down at you. The tone of the room changed as you lost the humor in the situation, his concern overpowered by the anger laced in his voice.

“I just wanted to help,” you stated, turning your face away, discouraged, with your arms crossed. “You’ve been getting the all the resources lately and haven’t let me even step off the damn property.”

Looking down, you fiddled with your fingers as to avoid his gaze. “I wanted to try and fix the wood panelings that have been leaking, that’s all.” 

The silence was harsh, and you swallowed deeply at how uncomfortably stiff the air became. Technoblade opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it shut with no words to voice.

With a shaky breath, you gripped the edge of the wood and slowly lowered yourself onto your foot; you didn’t plan on staying here just so he couldn’t say anything more. Technoblade was quick to steady his arms around you in case you fell, but you immediately pushed his hand away aggressively and stood with all your weight on your healthy foot.

Arms out to balance, as you tried to take the first step on your bad foot, you crumpled into your self with a yelp from the pain and collapsed. Ready as always, Techno caught you from behind and guided you to the nearest chair. 

You flinched from the small movement but sighed once sitting again. Techno crouched in front of you to check how you physically were, but your eyes were closed shut as you tried to collect your breathing. 

“Y/n,” Techno call out. Calming yourself down, you opened your eyes to meet his; he was much more sincere before, his face soft as he spoke gently to you. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.” Looking down, Technoblade paused as to gather his thoughts before explaining himself further. 

“I know I’ve been overbearing since the attempted execution,” you reached a hand towards his cheek when he mentioned the recent event, which he leaned into as he continued with closed eyes, “but please know it’s from a place of concern. I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t let anything happen to you. I-I…”

“I know. Trust me, I know.” You spoke for him as you pulled him into your chest, hugging his large frame as best as you could. He relaxed into your hold with a sigh of relief. 

“I love you, Techno.” You kissed the top of his head, and he only burrowed himself deeper into the hug.

“I’m so sorry, love.”

Technoblade was hunched over on the front lawn, hands on his head while trembling from the overwhelming pain of the voices. He whimpered at your words, indicating he heard you to some extent.

He had come home, alone, and fell to his knees at the sight of you when you opened the door. Immediately, you had rushed over to him and skid to your own knees to comfort him, but he grunted from your attempts to touch him; even when under the influence, he was still conscious enough to fear for your own safety relative to the blind rage of the voices. 

You had tried talking to him, attempted to get him to give you any context to what was causing his anger, which he answered with snarling growls in return. “Tommy… left… betrayed. Chose government.” 

While broken into murmured words, you understood instantly and tried to bring him back in spite needing to quench your own anger from Tommy’s departure. You rested your palms into the snow, lowering your head as much as possible to meet his bowed head. 

You peered up at him despite his own eyes screwed shut from the unbearable chaos that roared within his head, and called out to him as softly as you could. It was a stretch, but you hoped you could soothe him down by talking.

“Hey bubs, just listen to my voice, alright? You hear me now yes? You can understand what I’m saying?” Patiently waiting, you watched him closely until he gave the smallest nod, fists still pushed against his skull and twisting from the ache. 

“That’s good, that’s really good, love. You hear my voice, now listen to my words.” Slowly, you leaned close enough to whisper to him directly. 

“I’m here, okay? I’m so sorry about Tommy, I know how much you cared for him. I still care for him too, and I know it hurts right now, but rest assured I’m still here. I’m here Techno, and I’m never leaving you.”

With clenched teeth, he let out a sob at your declaration and pushed his head against you. You took his permission to touch him promptly, gripping him with as much strength as you could carry so he felt stable and secure. 

You squeezed him, desperate to ground him from slipping further, and rocked the both of you. He released a shuttered breath, and you kissed his skin gently.

“I love you, you know? I will always be here and I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

He clutched you with his entire being, your words and presence more than he could ever ask and want. 

“Why do you have to be too reckless for your own good?”

You grinned widely at his words, smile almost sadistic as you glanced at him with your arms propped on the axe you carried above your shoulders. 

“What ever could you mean?” Despite the roll of his eyes, he did nothing to hide his own amusement to your eagerness to the upcoming destruction you were to bring. He chuckled, his deep laughter making you smile more softly to how genuine he was as you walked besides him. Hand raised to wave his rocket launcher, he focused ahead proud. 

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” Turning to look at you again, you stared at him adoringly and smirked slightly while bashful to his confident manner. “We are indeed.”

It became relatively silent as you walked through the layered snow, feet crunching from your steady pace. You continued to take random glances at him, Technoblade doing the same until you both heard a loud groan. 

“My god, you two are insufferable, I can’t deal with this right now.” Dream sneered at you specifically, as if you were the cause for his own discomfort, and walked through you both.

“I’ll meet you guys there instead, but hurry.” Swiftly, he pulled out an ender pearl and threw it a few yards ahead towards the portal, his figure disappearing altogether. 

You stared in disbelief from his actions until a cough interrupted your thoughts once more. “You know what,” Phil avoided looking at you both, his hands tapping together awkwardly as he walked ahead as well but turned to address you while moving backwards. 

“I’ll see you guys there too, just, be sure to be quick?” You both nodded wordlessly, and he took his leave in fast haste. 

Standing there alone, you risked another glance at him and met his eyes, laughing loudly at the circumstances. 

Technoblade held a hand to his face, body shaking from his laughter while you were endlessly giggling, holding your stomach from the pain. Eventually, your fits faded with large smiles, and you faced him with a shake of your head. 

“I didn’t realize we’d be one of those couples.” Technoblade sighed, though you could tell it was for play, and nodded. “A shame really, I never thought this day would come.” 

You giggled again, and chose to move closer, tilting your head upwards at him with a sweet beam while leaning onto your axe. He gave you a small smile in return, however his faded immediately after. 

Lifting his open hand, he cupped your cheek and bent down to kiss your forehead, touching yours together after with his eyes closed. “Promise me you’ll be safe? I trust you to protect yourself, but for me, stay safe when things start to go bad?”

While you knew it was impossible to guarantee you’d stay away from the majority of the danger, you knew better than to leave his concern unanswered and open. 

“I promise,” you murmured, “for you, I promise.”

He pulled you against his chest this time, engulfing you completely and holding the back of your head earnestly to his heart. 

“I love you,” you voiced, your words muffled into his armor and coat. He hummed while looking ahead, his eyes trained on the glowing portal that called towards him. This was a war he refused to leave with mercy, the price of your peaceful lives together on the line. 

“No…”

There was too much blood. The thick liquid stained every surface and soaked through his coat that he pushed against your wound. 

Internally panicking from your tight expressions of discomfort, Technoblade desperately searched through his inventory for something, anything, that could heal or at the very least help you. He was forced to face the reality that he used all his potions during the midst of battle and combat. He couldn’t do anything. 

“Why, why why,” he snarled, his eyes clouding with an outset of tears he couldn’t care for. “Why are you so stupid.” His voice caught in his throat from his conflicted emotions and he tightened his hold on the fabric pushed against your stomach; the pain had faded at this point, and you were numb to the constant pressure he tried to hold. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I lied.” Your voice was light and strained, but Technoblade refused to accept the situation for what it was. He turned to a perched crow, screaming at it to get Phil and scaring it away with a slash of his sword, before tucking his head down in an almost silent plea. 

“Why do you have to be too reckless for your own good?” he whispered. Though he tried to be delicate, he couldn’t help how tight he held your hand. 

“I’d do anything for you, whether or not you ask me to.” You gave a tired grin as your eyes began to droop, hand tightening on his, however incredibly weak in comparison. 

“I asked you to be safe,” he cried, body stricken with grief as he abandoned his hold on your stomach and instead shakily held your face, your own blood smearing against your skin from his callous fingers. “I needed you safe.”

You placed a hand over his, using all your strength to relish in his touch and kissing the inner of his palm. “Yet you needed my love more.” 

He choked out a sob from your admittance, and pulled you into his chest, your body limp, as he rocked you slightly. “I’ll always be there for you, and love you more than I could for my own safety.”

The ruins echoed the wails of a tormented heart on the broken landscape of a haunted battlefield that called for death and devastation. The smoke and clouds of destruction reigned above, and despite the final end to the corrupted nation that was built on nothing but lies and deceit after a helpless man’s death, Technoblade couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“I love you,” he uttered, the words he struggled for oh so long to express finally free from its cage. “I love you, y/n. I love you so much.”

His words fell on deaf ears, and he screamed in agony at the truth that laid before him.

He was too late.

[teyvat-imagines]

hello! may i request some angsty hurt/comfort? i’d love to read about smth like zhongli accidentally saying guizhong’s name instead of his gn!s/o’s name,,, multiple times, anf s/o has been understanding and patient, but at some point s/o feels like it’s gone on for too long and tries to gently figuratively pry themself out of zhongli’s desperate hands?

Heya! :D Of course you can! Some Zhongli angst coming right up! I think I failed a little on the comfort side sorry, but I hope you still enjoy it! ;w;

Warnings: Angst (?)

Zhongli - A Losing Game

You had been with Zhongli for almost a year now. Your relationship had it's ups and it's downs, just as any other would. The two of you loved each other dearly, so when things got rough you were determined to work through it together. But, when you're constantly fighting to make something work? Feelings can dull and begin to erode. Everyone has a breaking point, a point of no return. And you were finally at yours.

You were curled up to Zhongli, sat under a tree amongst the glaze lilies. The sky above you shone brightly, the moon illuminating the night and the world around you was perfectly still. A peaceful snapshot in your life together. You nuzzled closer to him as you murmured a soft "I love you."

"I love you too, my dear Guizhong." You stiffened at his response. He had said it so casually, so calmly. There had not been a hint of panic or remorse. He hadn't even tried to cut himself off. It was only as you started to pull away from him, your heart hammering with hurt, confusion, pain and anger in you chest, that he seemed to realise his mistake. His grip on your shoulder tightened ever so slightly as he tried to keep you from pulling away. "(Y/N) wait, please-"

"No." It was killing you to do this. But continuing this lie was killing you more. You knew this was the right thing to do, but as your eyes met his, as you took in the hurt and the confusion and the utter fear in his golden orbs, you wanted nothing more than to stop. To cup his face in your hands and tell him it was going to be okay. That you were okay, and your relationship was safe. But that wasn't fair to you. Or to him.

"Zhongli, we can't keep doing this... I can't keep doing this." You blinked, willing the tears in your eyes not to fall. He reached out to you and you flinched back, shaking your head. "Don't." You hated the way your voice cracked. You needed to be strong to go ahead with this. "You don't love me."

"(Y/N) I do I-" His response was immediate and completely expected. He was afraid of losing you. Or, more accurately, he was afraid of loss. He still hadn't recovered from losing Guizhong. You'd had your suspicions for a while. He was always comparing you to her, whether he realised it or not. Zhongli would compliment you, and it was nice yes, but from the stories he told of her, the only parts of you he seemed to love were the traits that you shared with her.

"Zhongli..." You shook your head, not bothering to hide the tears now as they slowly slid down your cheeks. It wasn't fair. Guizhong was gone. She had been gone for centuries. She wasn't you and you weren't her and yet. He still tried to compare you... How much of you did he actually love and how much of it was Guizhong's influence? You bit your lip to hold back a sob, your hand shaking softly. "You don't love me." You said it again, firmer this time, and Zhongli couldn't seem to bring himself to argue again.

"It's her." Guizhong. You felt so petty for feeling this bitter towards a woman who was already dead. But it's reached the point that you can no longer stand to hear her name. Not after it's been on his lips repeatedly for the last year. When he kisses you, when he talks in his sleep, when he compliments you. It's always her name and never yours.

You loved him, but you could only take so much.

"Zhongli, dear, you don't love me. You still love Guizhong." You smiled up at him sadly, finally saying the words that had lingered in the backs of both of your minds. Zhongli shook his head softly, his mouth opening to try and protest but no words came out. Because he knew no amount of denial could hide the truth. You were right.

"I... I'm sorry..." He finishes with a quiet apology. It hardly made up for all the heartbreak you had put yourself through over the last year. And a part of you wanted to be angry at him for it. But, at the same time, you know you can't choose who you fall for. Guizhong was a big part of his life. Is still a big part of his life.

You part ways after that night. It ends on amicable terms, and you agree to remain friends. You can see that it helps Zhongli. He had tried so hard to cling to you, so afraid of facing loss again. But, it was what was best for him. He needed a friend, not a lover right now. It's good to know he's doing better. But it doesn't stop the tears you cry when you hide away at home. It was for the best, but it still hurt.

Because just as he still loved Guizhong, you still loved Zhongli.