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andivmg · 7 months

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speak up andi, I beg of you, you have been mistreated the most here, I know it took shubble a lot of courage but she has helped so many people

i want to start this off by saying it is not a competition and i do not want to compare my experience to anybody else’s. shubble is so fucking strong and i admire her and everyone else who has spoken up about experiencing abuse endlessly.

DISCLAIMER 1

this is way longer than i intended it to be. i did not plan to go into as much depth as i did but the words just kinda kept coming and i kept thinking that if someone else is in a similar situation to the one i was in, it would be good to point out even some of the smaller details so that they can see that these behaviors are not something to be overlooked and could be a symptom of a bigger issue… idk. i apologize for how lengthy and wordy this is but i hope it all makes sense somehow

DISCLAIMER 2

a lot of you know who one of my exes is and i am asking you to please not make this about him. i am simply sharing my experience with some of my past relationships in hopes that they help someone else. i beg of you, do not go on twitter making threads speculating on whatever because it’s just going to cause me a bunch of problems and i don’t want this to be brought to his attention. if you share my story, please do not do it with the intent of starting drama. if you share my story, focus on the behaviors i am talking about instead of trying to figure out if it’s about him.

DISCLAIMER 3

this goes without saying but i’ll put it here anyway: i will be talking about toxic relationships, mention of self harm, mention of sex, implied violence. if any of these topics are triggering to you please scroll away, protect yourself.

I have been in a lot of relationships, but there are 4 that i would truly identify as the ones who had the biggest impact on me. Two of those i would consider emotional mistreatment. I don’t want to say i was abused for reasons that i will be discussing with my therapist this week, but i can certainly say i was mistreated. For the sake of privacy, i will be referring to these two dudes as 1 and 6.

I think the biggest difference between 1 and 6 is that 6 was obsessed with me to the point where i felt like i was being suffocated, whereas i’m not sure if 1 ever cared about me in the first place.

6 and i started out pretty normally. we had a bunch of friends in common and we were around the same people. so eventually, we became friends too. we would text and call all the time until feelings developed into a relationship. in the beginning he was really sweet and caring, saying all the right things that got me falling head over heels. now, something important to note is that i am someone who has always had a lot of guy friends. when i was little and in school, my mom made friends with a bunch of other moms and those moms were boy moms, so i grew up surrounded by boys. i bring this up because 6 didn’t like my guy friends. actually, i think he just didn’t like the fact that i had guy friends at all. so, whenever i would hang out with my friends, it was a problem. so this resulted in me never being able to go out or hang out with my friends unless he was there. then it got worse. before we started dating he had decided to cut back on drinking and to stop smoking. so because of this, i decided that i wouldn’t drink or smoke around him in solidarity. this was not enough for him. i had to stop drinking and smoking altogether. so once, when i was hanging out with my girl friends we decided to stay in and get wine drunk. we posted about it on our private stories on snap and once he saw, 6 called me arguing and yelling at me because i was drinking and posting about it on my story for “attention”. after this incident, i was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends because they were a “bad influence”. he also didn’t like the clothes i wore. sorry, let me reiterate: he didn’t like my clothes when he wasn’t around. it was perfectly fine for me to wear a short dress… if i was with him. i was not allowed to wear “revealing” clothing if he wasn’t around. mind you, none of the clothes i wore were revealing, it’s not my fault i’m hot yk? he took over my life. who i talked to, what i did, what i wore, where i would go, it was all up to him. my life no longer belonged to me. and at the time, i was okay with that. i didn’t realize that he had so much control over everything. i was young and naïve and he convinced me that he knew what was best for me. that he had lived more than i had and experienced more than i had and that he knew better. he was so good at making everything my fault and making him the hero or victim depending on the situation. i got catcalled on the street? “because you were wearing that fucking dress again, andrea you know how that looks. of course you got catcalled. this is why you can’t wear things like that when i’m not around to protect you”. I decided to have a fun night in with my friends and get drunk? “i just don’t understand why you would be posting yourself on your private story like that. you’re drunk and vulnerable. why do you want other people, other guys, to see you like that? and you know i’ve cut back on drinking so how do you think it makes me feel to see that? don’t you love me enough to do this for me?” the worst part is i believed him. because, in the beginning, he helped me so much and i looked up to him so much, surely he had my best interests at heart, right? this relationship went on for way longer than it should have. you may be asking yourself, how did you leave? if you were so in love with him and entranced by him to the point where he consumed you, why did you leave? he raised his hand. that’s what got me to finally leave. a year after we broke up, i found out that he was drinking, smoking, and doing all kinds of shit he told me he wasn’t throughout our entire relationship. he was awful, and i’m really proud of myself for being strong enough to leave when i did. i’m also really grateful for my friends, who stuck out that whole train wreck with me. who i lashed out against in order to protect him and defend him. they stuck by me through it all and i don’t know where i would be without them so shoutout to them lmfao.

1 was a bit more complicated. it started out in a similar way. we had the same friends, hung out around the same people, so it was only a matter of time until we became friends too. we would call and text every day until feelings were developed. at least i developed feelings, i’m still not sure he did. i told him this and i don’t remember how the conversation went but basically we had decided that we were talking as more than friends now. enough time went by where i was ready for it to become a relationship and i communicated that to him. looking back, i think he felt pressured into the relationship by me and by our friends. anyway we started dating and everything was fine. we would hang out and talk all the time but i felt like he was bored or disinterested by me, so i would constantly beg for his attention. i became this needy clingy version of myself that i hated. it felt like when we would hang out, he was always distracted by something else. i basically felt invisible to him. that is, when i wasn’t hanging out with my guy friends. similarly to 6, 1 did not like my guy friends or the fact that i had guy friends in the first place. i had a guy best friend at the time who is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. let’s call him S. S and 1 were acquainted with each other, hung out in the same circles etc. but 1 still didn’t like him. sometimes, whenever 1 was busy doing whatever he did when he wasn’t with me, i would hang out with S, we would watch shows together and just talk. Some days, it felt like i talked to S more than my own boyfriend. this did not sit well with 1. he would ask “why the fuck are you always hanging out with him?” to which i would reply “maybe if you hung out with me more, i wouldn’t have so much free time to spend with him” (toxic ik but what can i say? i was feeling neglected). so you can see what problems this caused. eventually i cut S off. I stopped talking to him completely and i haven’t spoken to him since. Back to 1. even after cutting off my best friend, nothing really changed. He didn’t spend much time with me and whenever we would, i felt like he couldn’t wait to go off and do something else. this got exhausting. at that point i was begging him to love me, to pay attention to me, to care about me. this led to us breaking up. he broke up with me over text. it read, and i quote, “i think we aren’t meant for each other. i think you deserve someone that will treat you better than i do. I don’t think i’m in love with you and i tried to force myself to love you because i thought that’s what i wanted but i really don’t think it is. we started this relationship when i was just tired of being alone and i really just don’t think it is right anymore. i don’t think i am attracted to you. I am sorry, i really didn’t know how to end this and this probably isn’t the best way to do it but it’s time”. The relationship went on for another six months after this. granted, i should have had more self respect and never gotten back together with him but it is what it is. so after he told me that he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t attracted to me, we stayed “friends”. which basically meant that we did everything that a relationship involved. without actually being in a relationship. that is, until one of his friends hit me up. there was some flirtation going on but nothing serious. i was still in love with 1 but, at the time, i was in desperate need for attention and his buddy was there to provide it. when i told 1 about it he flipped out, called me all kinds of crazy and decided he was done with me. his friend and i talked about it and poked fun at the fact that he broke up with me but got mad at someone else paying attention to me. when 1 saw this (he ended up forcing me to show him the screenshots of the conversation) he was even more pissed and even more done with me. the next day he called me and we were basically back together again.

however, this time, i was meant to earn his affection. because i did something so unforgivable and atrocious, he was basically in the clear to treat me like shit. and he did. he would cancel plans to go hang out with his friends. he would only come over late at night, even when i had class the next day. i was basically at his mercy. we only hung out when he decided. we only spoke when he wanted to. i honestly can’t even recall us going on any date after that incident, save for one dinner. in short, i was not a priority to him. this, combined with some other stuff, really took at toll on my mental health. i entered a deep depression and began self-harming after being clean for 3 years. i sought out help and found a wonderful therapist who really helped me. but, 1 only saw this as one more problem. when we hung out he would complain that i was too sad. important note: because of that text he sent me i was incredibly insecure. so, little arguments would always end up escalating because i felt like he literally did not care about me and he would just keep making me feel like shit about being depressed. whenever we argued (which was very often) it would end in me locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing, nearly throwing up, while he was on his phone. i remember one specific argument started because he asked me if i would leave him for harry styles and i jokingly said yes (i am not and have never been attracted to harry styles). that argument escalated to the point where we almost broke up and he said to me “you should warn people before they fall in love with you that you are so mentally ill. because you’re always going to bring down the mental state of who you’re with”. he used my mental health against me like that a lot. whenever i would bring up something i wanted him to do or something that i didn’t like, he would call me needy, clingy, and say that he was trying his best but that i needed too much, that i was too much. all i wanted was reassurance. looking back, that’s all i ever asked for. whenever i would ask him if he loved me he would say “well i’m with you aren’t i?”. this is the same man who decided to go to vegas with his friends on my birthday after he promised he wouldn’t. this is the same man who said that he didn’t love me. the same one who said he wasn’t attracted to me. the same man who i would catch looking at other girl’s (some being his “friends”) provocative pictures on twitter. (this is definitely tmi so i’m just going to put a bunch of asterisks at the end of the tmi so you can skip there if you don’t want to read it) but there was a long period of time in our relationship where we had zero intimacy, and it wasn’t because of me. this fucked with my head a lot because i had this idea that because i was so emotional and needy that i could compensate physically. but when that stopped, my thoughts looked something like “the only thing i was useful for was sex and now he doesn’t even want that from me”.************whenever i remember this, a part of me thinks he might’ve been cheating on me during that time, but i have no proof so i guess we’ll never know. also during that time period, we were arguing over the same things over and over “it feels like you don’t love me” “but i’m hanging out with you” “that’s not the same as loving me” “you’re so fucking needy. and then you wonder why i don’t like coming over”. it was exhausting. we had the same friend group. and even our friends got so sick of us that they would tell me to break up with him. this went on for months until one day, on our one year anniversary, he told me that his plans for the day included playing video games. nothing else. that’s when i broke up with him. that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. i just couldn’t do it anymore.

we stayed friends afterwards in order to keep the peace within the friend group. after about a month, he told me he was going to do better. he said he was going to start going to the gym, and maybe even going to therapy, that he was going to eat better and live a better lifestyle for me. he said he was going to plan dates for us and treat me the way i deserved etc. very much vibes from that one euphoria scene. but i was done. maybe i didn’t communicate that well enough to him and that’s my fault. but i was really confused at the time and i didn’t know what i wanted. eventually we had a conversation and that’s when i told him that i was no longer interested in a relationship. i think i just didn’t believe him anymore. i didn’t believe that he would change for me or anyone else for that matter. through the entire relationship he was mean to me, he neglected me, belittled me, and overall made me feel like shit at worst and invisible at best. even when i would offer to plan things or suggest activities for us to do together, he would be disinterested the entire time or just cancel and make plans with his friends instead. and of course it was all my fault for one, flirting with his friend that one time, and two, just not being interesting enough. he made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and at the same time victimized himself. he would tell me “nothing i do is ever good enough for you” while i was the one putting in all the effort in the relationship. then he would go “well why would i put in effort with you? remember when you were flirting with [redacted]? I still think about that and it fucks me up”. mind you, he would only bring this up whenever i brought up any concerns or issues. anyway, as you can tell it took me a really long time to realize that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy and i’m really proud of myself, again, for having the strength to leave and never look back. i think one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize that i was being mistreated was because everyone around him loved him. and to me it was hard to see how someone that was so well liked could be bad. so i felt like i was the problem. i felt like there was something wrong with me and if i just fixed that, then he would treat me better and love me and care about me. it took a lot of therapy to realize that he just wasn’t that into me. i was like a toy to him that he could just pay attention to when he was bored but ignore me the rest of the time. but then, when someone else showed interest in me he would suddenly care and be like “no she’s mine, you can’t have her”. he didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me and that was the bottom line. that was the base off all the problems and toxicity that happened while we were together.

in conclusion, both of these men were awful in their own unique ways. i hope that by sharing this, someone who is in a similar situation will see it and identify these behaviors as something to watch out for. i hope that someone will see it and realize that they are not alone, and that they are not the first person to go through it, and that it gets better. these events all happened over two years ago and now i am in a beautiful and healthy relationship, i’m studying something that i am passionate about, and i am surrounded by people who love, care about, and support me. i am in a much happier place now and you will find that too, whoever you might be <3

#andianswers #i might’ve given myself a migraine with this one

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chvnssecret · 2 years

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doll

dom!felix - sub!afab reader - edging - overstimulation - head (f) - fingering - nipple play - teasing - slight degrading - pet names - lower case intended. if you are under the age of 18, i suggest you click off now.

you watched him, with his back to you, clicking away at his mouse. it had been constant and all day; playing his games. you were bored, and seeing his hair tied up in a pretty little ponytail made you horny. you looked at his rings, wondering how the cold metal would feel dragging along your wet pussy.

“stare at me any longer, i’ll have holes in the back of my head.” he spoke without even turning around. your cheeks flushed red, even though he couldn’t see you, but he knew you all too well. all day, all fucking day, he had been teasing you. teasing you to the point of crying. all you wanted was to orgasm and feel your pussy throbbing against his thigh, but he had other plans in store. “no answer? didn’t think so - probably lost your voice after whining all day.” he chuckled as his fingers still clicked away at his keypad. something bubbled up inside of you, you weren’t sure what, but you so badly needed to have a release.

“come here.” he beckoned you over with his fingers. you done as you were told, of course, patting your way over next to him where he sat in his chair. he looked up at you, smug smirk on his face as he patted his lap. “i’ve been mean today, haven’t i?” he spoke over your shoulder as he twiddled your hair around his finger. his deep voice tickled your ear and gave you goosebumps. it was the closest you had been to him all day. “please, lix. i can’t fucking take this anymore.” your shoulders slouched as you moaned at him, pout evident on your face.

“ah, there it is again. your fucking neediness. tell you what, sit on here and rub yourself silly on it. you know you want to.” he pointed at the armrest on his gaming chair next to you. the thought of it made you embarrassed; pathetically rubbing yourself on his chair as he sat and watched. that’s even if he watched, you were certain he’d pay more attention to his computer game than you. “go on, haven’t got all day.” he pushed your lower back gently as you got off his lap, seating yourself on his armrest. it didn’t help that you only wore white panties, with a bow on, under his shirt - but it certainly made the contact feel better.

your hips were slow at first, moving back and forth to try and find some sort of pace. you did, ending up going fast & rocking the whole chair. his eyes never left you, he sat there, face resting in his hand as he stared at you. a part of you did feel a little shy, but it was only felix.

it was too good. the feeling of just anything rubbing against your clit was enough. your hands gripped his desk as you felt your climax coming close again, pussy so sensitive and sore from all the near orgasms earlier on.

“off.” he insisted as he saw your legs tensing up. again, he had done it again. “for fucks sake, lix. just let me-,” “shut up or you won’t get anything at all.” he raised a brow and cut you off mid sentence. you knew to be quiet, because you knew that he was being serious. you stood up, a small trickle of wetness sliding down your thigh was enough to give him heart eyes. he cocked his head towards the bed and a pit of excitement formed in your stomach.

he instantly climbed atop of you, fingers brushing all around the area of your clit, but didn’t actually touch your clit. whilst doing so, he stared you in the eyes. an unknowing look was upon his face as his hand came to a halt.

“you know…” he started, finger trailing along your inner thigh. “i didn’t let you finish today, because my tongue does a better job than a chair arm, and a pillow.” he teased. “so help me then.” you bunched his shirt up in your fist with desperation. that’s all it took for him to go down, wrapping his arms under your legs and kissing all around your bud. it was throbbing, sore and so fucking sensitive from his nonstop teasing. he finally latched his lips onto it, making you take a handful of his hair and shudder from the sudden action.

it hurt, but it hurt so good. every flicker of his tongue felt like electricity through your body. your delicate pussy had been through too much - and now it felt a little too overstimulated for such things. you bucked your heat into his mouth, wanting to feel closer.

“come on, babe. you can be a bit more patient for me, yeah?” his lips unlatched from your clit, making you whine for the nth time today. as he sucked your bud again, his fingers found their way to your nipple. with each and every twist, you felt like you could scream. too many feelings were happening at once and you felt as though you could explode. with one hand playing with your nipple, the other was inserted inside of you.

maybe this is why he made you wait, but it all felt worth it.

“come for me, doll. all over my tongue.” he insisted. that you did. you could feel it rising in your stomach as you tensed around him. he still carried on sucking your nub as you orgasmed, making it too sensitive to bare any longer.

“no more, please.“ you pushed his head away and he wiped his mouth on your thigh.

“begging for it all day, now asking me to stop. making your mind up, babe.” he winked before climbing next to your limp frame, taking you in his arms and not letting go.

#chvnssecret #stray kids smut #stray kids #skz smut #kpop smut #kpop #skz x reader #skz x stay #skz x you #lee yonbok #lee felix #felix smut #felix

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charmedreincarnation · 2 years

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As most people don’t know I just want to say I’m definitely more into shifting than any other spiritual practice as that is something very much apart of my life and I’m indulged in. Not to say I don’t care or want to talk about other stuff but I know way more about shifting and stuff related to that than the void state !!!! I love dicussion about quantum jumping, the multi verse, time, 3D vs 4D, chakras, plus I have so many shifting stories hehe. Don’t get me wrong, I love void discussions, it’s a fascinating thing and other Loa inquires but I also want to talk about shifting more because that’s something I’ve actually mastered 😋😋 I’ve also been in the shifting community for way longer than the void community so I have more years of experience, and have met so many people who have educated me so much more than for example the void state!

Anyways here are my reality shifting tips that I talk about often and can also be applied to manifesting (for those who separate the two concepts) and even the void state or whatever you desire

1. You are limitless.

When I first started I had a bunch of questions about limits and what I can and can’t do, and what are the boundaries I can’t cross after learning about this phenomenon. Now I can say, you make to own rules because you quiete literally are god. If you can intend and imagine it, you can make it your perception and reality. This can be applied to anything, shifting, manifesting, even something as minuscule as playing a sport or passing a test. Society did use to tell us we can do anything if we put our mind to it and to dream big and reach for the sky, but it truly is a real concept I wish they ingrained in us a little more. Unfortunately for society, us being prepared to work 9-5s to give back to the government is more important. You don’t have to follow that path though, you found this for a reason so utilize it to live your dream life. It’s your life and your rules

2. this ties back with point one but the universe doesn’t shift you, because you are the universe

every time I browse shifting communities it’s someone saying you have to shift like this or that.. for the universe, or other false concepts like divine timing Well, the universe doesn’t care respectfully, because we are the universe. You can ask for help from the universe if that’s your belief and manifest your environment to help in your biddings but at the end of the day, it’s all you. This is why when people try to enforce cutting karmic ties, doing shadow work, learning about chakras, giving back to the universe, etc, it can be counter productive to your journey. While that can help SOME PEOPLE… it’s not what everyone needs or should even do. I’m not methodical at all and that stuff didn’t mean much to me and when I tried to force myself to care and it honestly slowed me down and was a waste of time. You know yourself and what you need. So follow your heart and intuition!

3. if I could tattoo this in everyone’s mind I would but feeling is much more important than visualizing or affirmation.

The feeling is the single-handed most important concept that everyone can utilize. A lot of people are bad visualizers and think it’s the end of the world when the feeling is what changes your visualizations into reality. I’m a maladaptive daydreamer so trust me when I took the visualization part and only did that, I got super sad when it didn’t help me shift since it’s something everyone preaches is so important. I wish it was the key to shifting because I would have done it in seconds. But our subconscious can’t tell the difference between images we see in our heads/daydreams and reality, so it’s the feeling that changes the perception and awareness successfully. Someone asked me how to successfully “feel” so I’m just going to explain it here because I think it gets to the point.

It’s hard to feel something you’re not feeling. As for shifting.. that’s the content of knowing you’ll wake up in your dr, but then again if you haven’t shifted yet how would you know what it feels like. To us, it would be pure bliss, and a state of fulfillment, the same as accomplishing a goal. But it’s hard to feel the fulfillment while trying to fulfill it if it makes sense? That’s why most people utilize other things like music, to get to the happy feeling and pretend with that by using methods like the sunny or Estelle method but to me, that stuff is distracting so I just had to practice and enhance my “smelling, hearing, and tasting”

I think it’s easier to pretend to feel and see (as in the sense of feel) but it’s harder to try to feel like you’re smelling your dr, tasting food in your dr, and hearing other people in your dr. I would try visual practices like pretending to eat an apple. For me I’m a great visualizer (again I’m a maladaptive daydreamer) but could you get yourself to taste the apple and hear yourself eating the apple. And maybe feel annoyed because to me the crunch of an apple is so annoying lol. Could you embody the state of being annoyed?

Oh, yea also practices using the first person. That’s something I also struggled with because I like watching my visualizations but that’s not my feeling. That’s seeing, and you should use all 5 senses together

In short don’t just feel the happiness you know you would have, utilize your 5 senses in your imagination when trying to shift, it will bring you closer to your home.

4. stop running away from your problems under the guise of the law of assumption.

For a long time, I ignored my reality and would pretend oh “I’m going to shift anyways so it doesn’t matter” you’re not assuming you’re going to shift if you’re hoping to do it. I would say I assume it will happen then hope and beg for the universe to shift me. you can’t gaslight yourself to not have doubts lol and you may be saying you’re going to shift but again feelings trump affirmations and you feel in your heart you won’t so that’s your reality. Now I know a lot of people on here have hard-lives, it’s why and how a lot of people found shifting. But seriously try manifesting a better current reality you’re aware of while trying to shift. Manifesting and shifting are two sides of the same coin and you can easily intertwine them to benefit you both ways. Find what works for you. You’ll have a better time assuming you’ll shift when you’re not clouded with stress from your cr and the sadness you get from it. (Not saying you can’t shift if you’re sad depressed or have doubts, You can) I’m saying it helps to not feel a weighing pressure to shift to escape, instead of shifting to escape for your eternal happiness.

5. There is nothing wrong with escapism

This is such a huge discussion in the community and such a stupid one at that. Every form of entertainment is a source of escape. Watching tv, vacations, having friends, sleeping. It’s a normal part of the human psyche, why should we be forced to only work, go to school, and sleep and have that be are only life. Shifting can be for escaping! It is, wether you do it temporarily or permanently, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. You shouldn’t be forced to stay here with everything wrong with the world, especially after you shift once you just know there’s so much better life out there for you. You are not confined to any reality, nor are you forced to stay anywhere you are not happy and anyone who tells you otherwise can shut their mouth. There is nothing wrong with change, and finding what makes you happy. The only thing wrong is staying where you’re not appreciated or happy when you have access to other sources. Please don’t let anyone gaslight you into feeling bad for prioritizing yourself and well being.

6.Lastly this ties back to the last point but find a support group whether in real or online

I know not everyone finds this to be some huge journey but I think we can all agree it’s become a huge part of your life. Find people to talk to not only about your journey but anything at all. I’ve made great shifting friends and they’re the only reason I’m coming back before I perma shift! I want to help them with their journeys before I go as well as all the amazing people on this subreddit who helped me.

Special note: All methods lead to shifting and manifesting successfully <3 behind every successful shifting method is a strong intention by the user of said method. All methods are doors to your desires, just choose which one you want to open, and don’t over complicate it! If you think your method work it will work.

that’s it. anything else could fall back into one of these categories! If one resonated with you, or all six or even 0, that’s fine! You’ll find what works for you as you go along but if this helps even one person I’ll be happy. sorry if it’s too long. I tried to keep it short and concise, cause I could probably go all day

#shiftblr #shiftinconsciousness #reality shifting #law of attraction #law of assumption #manifesting

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itsasweater · 1 year

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I'm honestly not bothered by Portwell's shipping Mack and Gina because they are doing exactly what I expected lol. Portwell's have always been very transparent.

I remember posting on here during season 3 if people ship Gina and EJ because they actually like them or if they just did it because it kept Ricky and Gina apart, it certainly seemed like the latter to me. The reason for making that post was because I got the feeling that many Portwell's were just undercover Rini's shipping Gina and EJ together because of the same fact that it meant keeping Ricky and Gina away from each other. I got some responses to that post denying that was case and that they actually really did like Portwell for legit reasons, which is fair enough. However, after the season 3 finale and the way it ended with Ricky and Gina kissing, my suspicions seemed justified because Portwell's started posting the Rini finale kiss from season 1 comparing the two. Even that hqportwell twitter page was tweeting about Rini and Portwell's liking a bunch of Rini posts, the likes are visible to the public people if your account isn't private lol.

Also, after season 3 all I saw from Portwell's was that the show made Gina totally different from season 2 and that she was not the same. Mind you these comments were only made once she broke up with EJ and kissed Ricky, funny that. If you actually cared about Gina as a character and actually understood her you would realize she was not her actual self in season 2. I mean, Gina had a song called Balance in season 3 where she mentions that the real her is going to shine, not the old her (season 1) or the 2.0 her (season 2) but the combined version. Also Sofia even mentioned in an interview how Gina wasn't herself in season 2, she knows her character better than anyone else. Let's be honest, yall only liked her in 2b once she cut off Ricky because it meant she was no longer a threat to Rini. Even during season 3 I remember people shipping Ricky with Jet and Val but once the show started hinting at him and Gina again it changed, all of a sudden it was Ricky needs therapy before he is with someone else lol. If Ricky needs therapy before getting in another relationship because of his home life, why was it/is it not the same for EJ? Is his relationship with his dad not terrible and strained? He should be in therapy as well according to yall instead of being in a relationship. This way of thinking is also very dumb, to suggest that someone who needs or is in therapy can't also be in a relationship or in love.

So, this was a long way of saying that I'm not surprised that Portwell's/Rini's/Jolivia's are shipping Gina with Mack because they have always been very transparent. They don't care about Gina or her happiness, they care about her not being with Ricky be any means necessary. This was obvious by immediately blaming Gina for everything during and after season 3 while believing EJ handled everything perfectly. Once Gina was not paired with EJ anymore, propping him up or giving him more screen time they went back to hating her. I know it can be annoying for some people to see Gina being shipped with Mack but try not to let it get to you, they refused to see or just didn't understand the story the show was telling with Ricky and Gina since the homecoming episode. This fandom has a big media literacy problem.

While I love Rina, Gina is more than just who she is with. I think she is the best character on the show, she is super talented and a star. I'm excited too see the show finally dive into more detail on her home life with her mom and how that has affected her.

I seem to always go on a tangent and these posts end up being longer then I intended them to be lol My apologies. Thanks for reading all of this if you did.

#hsmtmts #ej and gina #gina and ricky #ricky bowen #rina #ej caswell #highschoolmusicalthemusicaltheseries #gina porter #ricky x gina

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snotsloth · 1 year

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Calling fellow Baldur's Gate fic writers! I would like a bit of advice on a characterization conundrum I'm facing. I'm currently writing an epistolary post-game fic between my Tav and Astarion. I'm currently working on my second chapter which is my first letter from Astarion and I don't know how much he should reveal about his current psychological and emotional state. A bunch of spoilers and more details under the cut.

A quick summary of the important facts. Brychan romanced Wyll and Karlach during the events of BG3. But he also had a very intense but platonic relationship with Astarion. Astarion did not ascend. He killed Cazador and freed all of his victims into the Underdark.

They all saved Baldur's Gate with the help of the Emperor. Once the Netherbrain and all the tadpoles were dead, Astarion's vampiric curses returned and he had to flee from sunlight. Brychan was about to run after him when Karlach's engine gave out. At the last minute Brychan and Wyll were able to convince Karlach to return to Avernus with them so that they could all search for a fix for her engine together.

But before he left, Brychan tasked Halsin with finding Astarion and giving him "true love's embrace" one of two rings that allows the wearer to cast a protective spell over the wearer of the other ring. (Brychan is a sorcerer and he frequently "breaks" magic rules mostly because he doesn't know they exist.)Though angry and brokenhearted, Astarion kept the ring. About two weeks later it magically produced a letter from Brychan, apologizing and explaining everything that has happened to them since their descent to Avernus.

Having had a few weeks to brood, Astarion is in a better headspace than he was directly after the battle of Baldur's Gate. He understands why Brychan makes the choice he did and isn't really mad at him any longer, buuuuuuuut he is still hurting.

Here's where I finally get to my question. How honest should Astarion be in his reply letter? At first, I let him bare his soul and be completely honest about his current mental state, but now I'm second guessing myself.

Like, yes, Brychan and Astarion were very close at the end of the game. They had a level of intimacy and comfort in one another that Astarion has never had before.

AND YET! He isn't "fixed," you know? He didn't just magically heal from 200+ years of trauma by killing Cazador. Plus, even though Brychan was forced to make a split second decision and didn't intend to hurt Astarion, he did. Leaving for the Hells right after Astarion's curse returned felt like abandonment, whether or not he meant it.

So with all that context, would Astarion put up a front? Would he wave away Brychan's concern and remorse and just be like, "I'm fine. Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? You assumed I'd fall to pieces just because you left? Please. I got along just fine before you came into my life. I can look after myself, you know."

Or should I stick with my initial instinct and let Astarion pour his soul into the first letter? I feel like it would make for better narrative tension if I didn't, and instead made a start contrast between what Astarion actually feels and what he allows himself to write.

I would love to know if anyone else has an opinion on it because the people I usually bounce writing ideas off of haven't finished the game yet. Please help!

Also, here's a link to the fic if you'd like to read chapter 1!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50215084/chapters/126824515

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate #baldur's gate 3 #fic writing #writing advice needed #writing help #fanfic help #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion/tav #astarion/oc

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idlenight · 1 year

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@wonda-fhr essentially challenged a bunch of us to answer even more Sidestep OC asks. I will gladly take the free reign to unabashedly talk more about my Sidesteps. And there where indeed about three questions I had wanted to answer in varying degrees that didn't come up!

So here we go, it got longer than I intended.

19 - what scarred them the most about the heartbreak incident?

There was so much happening during heartbreak. Loss of autonomy, loss of loved ones, loss of life. Death everywhere you looked, in every breath. You can't push your mind out and feel because then it'll find you.

You do something you thought you would never do (the gun tastes metallic, like the blood you smell everywhere, but the cold touch on the roof of your mouth is strangely comforting). You want to end it all, relieve the pressure of pretending to be something you're not (why did you think you could be a hero, or human?), but also the actual pressure of another mind wrapped around your own (suffocating, stiffling). There's an underlying anger there, directed at you, at the thing doing this to you, at the people who have made you, it's hard to tell which but it's anger all the same. (You've never been angry like this, it settles inside and cuts a place for itself but it'll be forgotten and fester for years).

It's hard to pick one thing out of that whole mess that shines above the rest. The whole thing weighs on River like Atlas, and he's pretending it's not there. Out of all of it I focus the most on the actual heartbreak scar the most. River took on the Suicide scar, and death is very prominent in River's current perception of himself. In the question about death from this list I said "River considers himself a death man walking." and he does consider himself as death, not just the person that died on that day, but current day River. A perception that Julia is challenging.

River's Suicide scar faded into the Revenge scar. Something I like to think as bubbling up to the surface as a long festering anger after Julia starts to make him feel alive again, however small. If River doesn't stay productive that anger would eat him alive and destroy what fragile relationships he has build. It's an ugly thing. (it's hard to tell if that anger is his own, or someone else's).

21 - what is their philosophy?

River has the fate motivation, and while he doesn't believe in some grand design or something out there putting people on a path, he does believe that things that have happened couldn't have happened any other way. The future is still malable, but once something has happened that is the only way it could've played out.

It is inevitable. It is what it is because it couldn't be anything else. (Aiat*)

It's an odd and somewhat floaty philosophy you might not expect for someone that is quite tactically and intelectually driven.

(*Aiat, a word the fictional species the Hive use from the game Destiny. It holds a lot of meaning lore-wise but the word is what I based River's fate motivation on. If you're interested here is a post that explained it beautifully. It might however not make a lot of sense if you're not already aware of destiny lore.)

35 - if they could have any other superpower, what would they choose?

I wanted to answer this one for everyone except River actually! I have a habit of making all my ocs and mcs fit and live together in one reality parallel to each other. I find it fun but also an interesting exercise to figure out logisticaslly. Maxwell, Clementine, and Rain all have different powers to me than Sidestep, because none of them a truly Sidestep in my head.

Clementine is tricky because I’m still not sure if I want her to be a infiltration unit or a combat unit. For infiltration I was imagining her as having super-senses, keeping her on hyper alert at all times that it almost makes her a prediction machine (and a great listening in device). As a combat unit it would be some level of invulnerability/indestructibility and perhaps super strength.

Rain is some level of telepath still (it runs in the genes). Tactile, and perhaps only one aspect. Not suggestion like Hollow ground, there don’t need to be two. Unsure if it would be memories, or feelings? Something I’m workshopping.

Maxwell is the only one I have fully figured out. They are a double boost. Their first dose gave them the ability to create force fields, bubbles of protection. Their second boost gave them invisibility. (Pretty much just the power set of Violet Parr from the Incredibles). Only their first boost is registered.

#fallen hero #fhr #sidestep #ask game #oc tag #oc: River Becker #oc: Maxwell Elmore #oc: Clementine Price #oc: Rain Becker #river: scars #river: personality

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dialovers-translations · 2 years

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Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Subaru Dark [Prologue]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Monologue

ーー The one who inherited Karlheinz-san’s powers,

was none other but Subaru-kunーー

The happenings of that day,

remain vividly engraved in my memory.

When Subaru-kun and I,

went to the Chamber of Time together,

where Karlheinz-san was waiting for usーー

ー A flashback ensues

Subaru: ーー The fuck!? You’ll entrust me with your powers? Don’t just decide that by yourself!

No way in hell I’m acceptin’ that shit!

Karlheinz: ...

*Woosh*

Subaru: ーー Ugah!?

Yui: Subaru-kun!?

( He’s suddenly frozen to the spot... )

( Could it be, did Karlheinz-san...!? )

Subaru: ...Guh...

Karlheinz: You are not allowed to decline. It has already been established that these Powers shall be passed down to you.

I have decided that I shall entrust you with them and I do not intend to change my mind.

You do not have the right to turn them down. My son, Subaru.

ー Karlheinz approaches him

Karlheinz: I shall give you, my everythingーー

Subaru: ...! Cut it out!!!

*Woosh*

Karlheinz: The wheel has started turning. There is no longer anyone, who can stop this.

I shall leave...the rest in your hands.

ー The flashback ends as the scene shifts to the living room of the Sakamaki manor

Yui: ( ーー Subaru-kun has been awfully glum ever since, and even more irritable than before. )

( But I suppose I can hardly blame him after he was forced to accept those powers which he cannot even properly control himself... )

( Besides, it’s made even worse by the fact that those powers previously belonged to Karlheinz-san, a man he personally loathed... )

*Flap flap flap*

Reiji: ...However, this is rather troublesome.

Yui: Eh...?

Reiji: The intruder who seems to have vanished in thin air.

Those mocking words he spoke. I can only assume that was a warning of some sorts.

Yui: ...Right.

ー Yui recalls the inruder’s words

???: Ahaha! You guys really are a bunch of fools. …Don’t disappoint me now, will you?

Yui: ( On top of the powers which were passed down, there’s the case of the intruder as well. )

( There’s so many things to think about... )

Reiji: ...I shall return to my room now. You lot should keep your guard up high as well, understood?

Yui: Yes...

ー Reiji leaves the room

Yui: ( I suppose I’ll go to my room as well. But...I’d rather not leave Subaru-kun alone by himself... )

Subaru: ...

*Thud*

Subaru: Che, don’t look so damn worried!

Yui: But...

Subaru: Shut up! Why are you pissin’ your pants over some guy whose true identity we don’t even know yet!?

*THUD*

Subaru: ーー Oi! I don’t know who you are, but show yourself!

I bet you’re still lurkin’ ‘round somewhere, aren’t you!?

*THUD THUD*

Yui: Subaru-kun, calm down...

Subaru: Shut up! You keep quiet!

*THUD*

Subaru: Listen. The idea of some random fucker sneakin’ ‘round this manor, pisses me the hell off!

Reveal yourself if you’re there! I’ll teach you a lesson!

Yui: S-Subaru-kun...

( It doesn’t seem like Reiji-san or the others are going to step in...Which means it’s up to me to stop him...! )

B-But! If they came here because they’re scheming something, I doubt they will show themselves so easily...

???: ーー Why not? I have no issue showing myself.

Subaru: !?

Yui: Y-You are...

Kino: My name is Kino. I made an appearance because you called for me.

Subaru: ...So you finally show your ugly face, huh? I’m gonna beat you to pulp!

ー Yui quickly stops him

Yui: Y-You can’t! Calm down, Subaru-kun...!

Subaru: Che, don’t stop me!

Yui: B-But...!

Kino: Fufu~ You’ve got such a short temper, Subaru. Geez~

ー Kino approaches him

Subaru: ...Ah? What’s the meaning behind that hand?

Kino: I mean, come on. I’m a Vampire as well, you see.

Subaru: Aah? So what?

Kino: In other words...I don’t see why you need to be so threatening towards me, when we’re both part of the same species?

Why don’t we try and get along? ...In various ways, okay?

Subaru: Aah? Fuck off!

If some random shithead goin’ in and out our manor without permission isn’t damn suspicious, then what is!?

Kino: Ahaha! I guess you have a valid point there.

Subaru: You bastard...I don’t want to hear another fuckin’ word from you!

*WOOSH*

Yui: !?

( Did he just use his powers...!? )

*Thud*

Kino: ーー Woah there. I guess you really did inherit Karlheinz’ powers.

Subaru: Oi, don’t run away! This time for sureーー

Yui: You can’t! Subaru-kuーー

*WOOSH*

*Rumble*

Yui: Kyaah!?

ー Yui collapses

*Thud*

Subaru: ...Yui!

ー Subaru rushes to her side

Subaru: Are you alright!?

Yui: ...Y-Yeah. It just lightly grazed against me, I’m fine.

Subaru: But...!

Kino: Ahaha! Hilarious! I guess she’s your weakness, huh?

I see. Fufufu. I gained some valuable information~

Subaru: ...!

Yui: Subaru-kun...! Please, just calm down...?

I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions for Kino-kun, but he won’t tell you anything if you let your own anger get the best of you.

Subaru: ...

ー Subaru calms down

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...You said that Kino’s your name, right? What did you come here for?

Kino: Hm? Just to say hello. You know, ‘I’m going to inherit those powers of yours next, so nice to meet you!’, something like that?

Subaru: ...Inherit these powers?

Yui: You’re talking about Subaru-kun’s powers, right!?

Kino: Yeah. I mean, I have the full right to inherit Karlheinz’ powers.

Subaru: ...What do you mean by that?

Kino: ...I’m actually one of his sons as well, just like you and your brothers.

Yui: Eh...!?

Kino: I’m more of what you’d call an illegitimate child though. Seems like you guys were unaware of my existence as well.

Subaru: ...Don’t be spoutin’ crap! Are you tryin’ to fuck with me!?

Kino: It’s not a lie, you know. ...Bang!!

*WOOSH*

Yui: ーー !?

*Rumble rumble*

Kino: Ahー My bad. I didn’t think it’d wreck the whole wall.

But...Hey, hey, won’t you believe me now, Subaru?

Subaru: ...Kuh...

Yui: ( To be able to unleash such a strong attack here in the human world...I wonder just how strong he truly is...!? )

( ...He might actually be the secret love child of Karlheinz-san... )

Subaru: ...What are you, for real? What do you mean, you’re that Old Man’s son?

Kino: ...That’s a tricky question. I mean, I’ll tell you since you’re my brother...

I don’t know who my mother is. Also, I’ve been living in Rotigenberg since my birth.

I’m sure you’ve heard of that place? The land where the Ghouls live. That’s where I was abandoned.

Subaru: Abandoned...?

Kino: Exactly. ...Just like your mother was.

Subaru: ...!

Yui: ( Right...Subaru-kun’s mother was also... )

Kino: The Ghouls who found me apparently spotted Karlheinz-san there.

On top of that, I happen to possess incredibly strong magic powers, right?

Those powers were the clue which led me to figuring out that Karlheinz must be my Father.

Subaru: ...

Ayato: What was that just now? ...Uwah!? This whole place has been turned upside down!

Kanato: My cookies were crumbled to bits because of the tremors...!

Kino: Whoopsie. ...I feel like this will get messy, so I’m going to dip for now.

Yui: W-Wait! Kino-kun!

Kino: Don’t worry! I’ll drop by again! See you, Eve! Subaru!

ー Kino leaves

Yui: ...Ugh...

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! What happened just now!?

Kanato: Is this your fault, perhaps!?

Subaru: ...

Yui: Subaru-kun, are you okay...?

Subaru: ...Please give me some time alone.

Yui: Eh?

ー Subaru walks away

Yui: ( He looks sad watching him walk away... )

( I want to go after him but...But I don’t know what to say to him. )

...Subaru-kun...

Monologue

Subaru-kun has recently lost Christa-san,

ーー his mother.

She was taken as Karlheinz-san’s wife,

against her own will,

as a result,

she allegedly lost her mind,

or at least that’s what Subaru-kun believed to be the truth...

In reality,

it appears that Christa-san,

actually continued to harbor feelings for him all along.

But with Karlheinz-san,

unable to return her love,

Subaru-kun became upset at his father,

growing to loathe him.

In the end...

Christa-san passed away,

never having those feelings returned.

I am sure that this whole thing,

still weighs down very heavy,

on Subaru-kun’s mind.

ーー Hence.

I can only imagine he must be rather shocked,

by the appearance of Kino-kun,

someone who has gone through a similar situation.

Yui: ...Kino-kun was his name, right?

( I wonder if he truly is Karlheinz’ illegitimate child...? )

( Just when I thought he had finally recovered from his Mother’s death... )

( ...Perhaps I should give him some space for a bit. )

ー The scene shifts to Subaru’s room

*THUD*

Subaru: Damnit, that shitty Old Man...! He’s the one guy, I will never be able to forgive...!

ー The scene shifts to Kino’s manor

???: Welcome back, Kino.

Kino: I’m back. Hey, Yuuri. Where’s the good stuff?

Yuuri: ...Right here.

*Rustle rustle*

Kino: Thanks. ...Nn...

Nnh~ There’s really nothing as delicious as a glass of Guava juice.

Yuuri: ...Judging from your mood, things must have gone well.

Kino: Yeah. It’s going smoothly. I think it will be easy to take advantage of him.

Fufu. I can’t wait.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #lost eden #diabolik lovers translation #lesubarudarkprolog

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filet-o-feelings · 2 years

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December prompts - day 2 (baking)

I know I just linked to AO3 for day 1, but I think I'm going to post the rest here, since they're short. Although this one got a bit longer than intended, so I'll throw it under a cut.

“Hey, Twy?” Alexis looked like she had something on her mind as she sat at the counter sipping her tea.

“What’s up, Alexis?”

“Do you know a good banana bread recipe?” That’s not at all what Twyla had been expecting, but she’s happy she can help.

“I do, actually! My aunt used to make the best banana bread before her second husband ran off with the produce manager at Brebners and she swore off fresh produce for the rest of her life. We had to sneak vegetables into her food like she was a toddler so she wouldn’t drop dead from malnutrition.”

“Oh! Oh wow. Um. Anyway, we somehow ended up with way too many bananas so I need to use them up. And David’s been kind of down lately so I figured maybe I could cheer him up with carbs.”

“That sounds really lovely!”

“Um. There is one small problem though.”

“What’s that?” Twyla asks as she wipes down the counter.

“I live in a motel and don’t have a proper kitchen,” she says, and Twyla smiles.

“Well, I’m done with work in about 2 hours and happen to have a fully stocked kitchen, if you want to stop by later,” Twyla suggests.

“Oh my god, yes, Twy that would be perfect!” Alexis exclaims, grinning.

🍌🍞

Twyla prepares all of the ingredients, sans bananas, before Alexis arrives. She’s grateful that she had time to shower and put on one of her favorite dresses before Alexis arrives.

Not that this is, like, a date or anything. She just felt gross after working all day.

She’s just finishing tidying up the living room when she hears a knock at the door.

“Alexis, hi, come in!” she says when she opens the door to the adorable sight of her friend all dressed up in a gorgeous pink dress, heels and all, holding a bunch of bananas up and in front of her.

“I remembered the bananas!” She said, proudly. As if remembering the one thing, and the literal reason she was coming over tonight was a huge accomplishment.

Twyla really kind of wants to kiss her right now.

Instead, she takes the bananas and leads her to the kitchen.

“Twy! Your place is so cute! How have I never been here?” Alexis says, looking around in wonder.

“Well, you’re welcome here anytime,” she says, and she’s really hoping Alexis takes her up on the offer.

“Okay, so the recipe is actually really simple. We’ll just need three bananas, and you want to make sure they’re ripe so these are perfect. I already took out all the other ingredients, so if you want to peel and mash them in that bowl, I’ll start the oven and butter the loaf pan.”

Alexis mashes the bananas and Twyla checks the next step. “Okay the next thing to add is melted butter so I’m just going to throw that in the microwave for a few seconds.”

Once the butter is melted, she adds it to the bowl with the bananas and instructs Alexis to add the remaining ingredients, one at a time.

“Great, just the flour left,” she says, dumping the flour in the bowl while Alexis continues to mix.

Somehow, way too much flour ends up on the outside of the bowl and ends up on both of the girls.

“I’m so sorry, I should have given you an apron to wear! It’s all over your dress!”

Alexis is laughing, though, and Twyla is relieved that she doesn’t seem to be upset. “It’s okay Twy! This is surprisingly a lot of fun.”

“Oh, good! I love baking, I’m glad you’re enjoying it too,” she says, pausing before deciding to say the next part. “Maybe we can do this again. Make a thing of it? Cupcakes, cookies, maybe even fudge!”

Alexis grins and nods, "Mmhmm!"

Twyla takes a look at the bowl, “Okay I think it’s mixed enough. You can pour the batter into the loaf pan now.”

Alexis does as instructed, then Twyla places the pan in the oven, setting the timer.

“Is that it?” Alexis asks.

“That’s it. Now we wait.”

“What do you want to do while we wait?” Alexis asks, and Twyla blushes, thinking of all the things she would love to do while the bread bakes.

In the end, they decide on a movie, and creep closer and closer to each other on the couch. Twyla thinks if things continue this way, she might actually end up kissing Alexis tonight.

And then the oven timer interrupts her thoughts.

Twyla jumps up and goes to check on the banana bread, Alexis following closely behind.

“It looks like it turned out perfect,” she says, placing it on a trivet before removing her oven mitt and turning the oven off.

“Thank you, Twyla. It smells amazing! David’s going to love this.”

“You’ll have to let me know what he thinks,” Twyla says.

They finish their movie while the bread cools, but start again at opposite ends of the couch, the moment gone for now. Once cooled enough, Twyla wraps the bread up and sends Alexis on her way.

An hour later, she receives a text with a picture of David eating a slice of banana bread with a look of pure bliss on his face.

She smiles, knowing she made at least two people happy today.

Three, if she includes herself.

#twylexis #sort of?#either way my first twylexis fic somehow #I kinda want to continue it #december writing prompts #schitt's creek fanfic

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ceph-the-ghost-writer · 1 year

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Wednesday Friday Writing Log

I told myself to do this on Wednesday before promptly forgetting 2.5 seconds later. Same story with Thursday. Looks like third time's the charm, though.

Phagophobia Word Count: 42,926

Asks marinating in my inbox: 13

Pending tags in games: Like, 3? For sure a Friday Kiss Game, a 9 Lines 9 People, and...one of the Last Line/Heads Up ones, I think.

Musings under the cut

Phagophobia has a finale at last. Well, the rough draft of Phagophobia does--you know what I mean. The important part is I made something with a partially coherent beginning, middle, and end. For someone who easily falls into the trap of going back and rewriting halfway through, this feels like a win.

There will still be a wrap-up chapter, of course. I'm a little disappointed in myself that my girl Oleander is just barely showing up in that...but it's something I can rectify in the new draft. After all, a lot is bound to change.

From here, I'm moving into outlining for the rewrite. I got some decent tips that seem to work with my brain rather than force me to whip it like a cruel ringmaster cajoling a tiger to jump through flaming hoops. (Before my brain turns on and mauls me, of course.) My biggest source of writing frustration is getting struck with sudden ideas. As a pantser, I make it up as I go along. At some point, however, without fail, I get hit with an idea or three that requires a retcon of what I've already come up with. This throws me off track since if I'm building off what I made up previously...how do I keep going when some or all of that information no longer applies?

Hence, summary outlining. Or whatever the official name is--I'm sure there must be one. I'm going to just ramble about what I think happens in the rewrite. Essentially, "and then this happens, and Character A felt like this, oo then this other thing happens" etc. This registers as pantsing to my brain, with the added benefit that I'm not investing a bunch of time and energy into actually writing chapters. I can let my mind run loose from beginning, middle, and end, then start asking questions and building up details. If any major shifts occur, I can alter the outline instead of something I've already half written.

At least, that's the hypothesis. We'll find out how it fares when tested.

Aside from the wrap-up chapter and outline, I'd like to do some little what-if scenes. I have no idea whether any of them will make it into the story, but they're fun so I want to write them as a lil treat. One of these is based on that prompt going around about a human willingly submitting to vampire hypnosis. I considered casting Isaac opposite of Kinslayer, then even Ben, but settled on Renato. I'd intended to delay any serious uhhhh displays of physical affection between them until much, much later in the series. However, I think a messier, volatile relationship between them is worth exploring. Also, it can just be fun when, despite a default setting of anger and guilt, two characters want each other so badly it's embarrassing, frankly.

#writing log #look Isaac and Renato will eventually #get to a healthier place #individually and together #but there's no reason we can't enjoy #the chaos that happens along the way

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i-am-distressed · 3 years

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JJK Boys getting accidentally flashed by their Girlfriend

Characters: Megumi, Itadori, Yuta, Noritoshi, Nanami, Toji, Naoya, Geto, Gojo, and Sukuna

Warnings: Implied 'nudity' cause, y'know, getting flashed. Naoya + Sukuna, Yuta’s turned out very detailed and warning for his cause curses are gross, mentions of injuries/implied blood, Noritoshi’s is eXTREMEly self-indulgent, allusion to sex in Toji’s and Sukuna’s but nothing explicit or suggestive (obviously), you guys are married in Toji’s, Naoya’s and Sukuna’s. Kids in Naoya’s, cursing in Sukuna's but I 'censored' it :)

**I write Naoya and Sukuna with some necessary changes, please hold your judgement☺ These are long but give it a chance-**

Fushiguro Megumi:

Due to his job as a student/Jujutsu Sorcerer, Megumi was usually pretty tired when you guys got to hang out.

So, the first thing you guys typically did when you met up after school was nap for a good hour or two.

Which worked out well for both of you since he finally got some rest and you got cuddles and a chance to play with his hair.

On this particular afternoon, Megumi had basically crashed the minute he hit the bed, you not far behind to lay on his chest while he zonked out on his back.

It had been just about 2 hours when he woke up, one hand going up to rub his eyes while his other arm wrapped around you to hold you tight.

You smiled when you felt him moving, turning ever so slightly to give him a small peck on his shoulder.

He smiled and turned to look at you, only to see that while he was sleeping you had changed into a loose tank top. A loose tank top that had...shifted, to give your boyfriend a view you had not intended to give him.

He was so flustered he didn’t realize how red the tips of his ears had gotten and how wide his eyes had gotten, not to mention the fact he hadn’t said a word.

Thinking he had fallen back asleep, you looked up only to see your boyfriend seemingly stuck in time as he looked at something.

Following his gaze you gasped, rushing to fix your shirt.

That seemed to snap Megumi out of his daze, that and your non-menacing ‘pervert’ you muttered, it’s not like you really cared (you were more embarrassed than anything) but the opportunity to tease was much too good to pass up.

“I- hEy! It wasn’t on purpose! You’re the one that flashed me…”

“I don’t know Megumi...you were awfully quiet for awhile there, didn’t even warn me😔”

You may or may not have gotten hit with a pillow following that remark.

Itadori Yuji:

You and your boyfriend Yuji were celebrating your two year anniversary, and this year you had both decided on going to an amusement park!

It was a pretty hot day, and you’d be walking a lot so you decided on a cute loose t-shirt and shorts and some walking shoes.

You guys had just gotten on this rollercoaster, and from the looks of it this one was going to be fast.

The ticking as you went up the first and very tall hill did nothing to quell the excitement/fear you were feeling, and it also did nothing to keep you from taking your boyfriends hand in yours.

After that first drop, it wasn’t too bad! But it was definitely on the faster side.

You guys were almost done, the end was in sight.

You turned to ask Yuji what ride you should do next when one sharp turn caught you off guard and flipped your shirt up into your face.

Right when Yuji had just so happened to have turned to talk to you.

Trying to ignore the utter shame you felt you tried to fix your shirt, your boyfriend then leaned over you to stop anyone from getting a peak as the car pulled back to the start.

You felt so embarrassed after it, but when you tried to apologize he just shook his head, gave you a kiss on your cheek and grabbed your hand to drag you off to the next ride.

Okkotsu Yuta:

**Unlike the others, this happened before the two of you started dating, you were still just really good friends**

You and Yuta had been sent out on a mission together.

You were a little nervous since it would be your first time going against a special grade, but you were confident you’d be able to do your part. Plus, having Yuta there was helpful in more ways than just his power.

The fight was a tough one, this curse you guys were fighting kept breaking the ground and shooting debris everywhere, it was easily blockable and it really wasn’t that dangerous.

But it did prove irritating.

Along with making tears everywhere in your jacket and skirt, you had been left with no choice but to kill the curse when it was up close and personal, so you were also covered in gross stuff.

To keep yourself from throwing up then and there, you unbuttoned your top and shrugged it off your shoulders, wincing at the cuts that had amassed during the fight.

You planned to quickly exchange it with the spare you kept in your bag, the debris had caused a bunch of dust which was acting like a curtain to shield your half-naked self from the eyes of the world.

But most importantly, from the eyes of your crush.

Unfortunately for you, your bag had gotten caught under a somewhat heavy piece of concrete.

Which would be no problem for you to lift if you hadn’t run through a fair amount of your cursed energy.

In your exhaustion, you must have made your struggle known with the grunts and obvious sounds of struggle you were making.

Yuta, who had a radar for you on anyway, heard this and started making his way over to you since he’s a considerate lad and you could be hurt!

You had just gotten it off the ground when it finally shifted enough for you to get your bag out, and you, being ever so coordinated, stumbled backwards.

Right into the open arms of Yuta, who immediately went red when he realized you were no longer wearing a shirt.

His jaw dropped as he tried to form a sentence, say something, anything to make sure you knew it was an accident.

Poor guy was so scared you thought he was a creep, he couldn’t look you in the eyes for almost 3 days.

That is until Maki locked you both in a room until one of you confessed💖

Kamo Noritoshi:

(This one may or may not be self-indulgent since I’m a clutz-)

You and Noritoshi had been sent to get something from the principal’s office by Utahime.

You were walking in front of him, paying little to no attention as to where you were walking as Noritoshi lost years off his life watching you stumble and almost trip.

So, okay, maybe you were a little bit clumsy, so what?

“Y/n, would you please be more careful? You’re going to fall.”

You turned your head to look at your boyfriend with an unimpressed look on your face, continuing to walk as he was even more on edge now that you definitely weren’t looking where you were going.

“Have a little faith in me, would you? I’m not that clumsy-” Just then, your foot caught a root perfectly, resulting in an untimely fall to the ground.

Which, thanks to years of falling face-first, you were more than prepared for.

Noritoshi, who felt his heart stop, quickly went to aid you, only to realize that your skirt had shifted with your fall, leaving you partly exposed to the world.

Partly exposed to him.

He quickly made his way to your side, helping you up as you laughed and dusted yourself off, noting the quietness of your boyfriend.

Usually when this happened, and he was quiet, you’d be in for a lecture.

But this time you noticed he was quiet...but he was also blushing.

You guys continued walking, you definitely weren’t complaining about not being told off, but you weren’t a fan of his silence. And...since when did Mr. Blood manipulation blush…?

“No lecture today?”

Noritoshi, who had been very deep in thought almost jumped at your voice, huffing as he tilted his head downward and picked up his pace a little.

“No tights today?”

You stopped at that because...he typically didn’t care what you wore, he was actually pretty laid-back except when it came to your safety.

“It’s August...so no?”

“Then i’d recommend you be a little more careful, had it been somebody else walking behind you, they would have seen something they shouldn’t have.” Your eyes narrowed at his words because...what was he talking about??

Sensing your confusion he turned towards you, eyes cracked open and a small smirk on his face. Leaning in close, he whispered.

“When you fell, your skirt lifted.”

And proceeded to walk ahead and into the principal’s office, leaving you in a whirlwind of emotions with no idea how to process them.

Nanami Kento:

You were over at Nanami’s place, in his kitchen cooking dinner with him.

You guys didn’t get to have dates often, but thankfully you guys both had tonight free. And seeing as you both have been busy, a home-date sounded nice to both of you.

Nanami was working on opening a bottle of wine while you were fiddling with the stove top.

Nanami had recently moved into this apartment, and it was really nice. But the oven was much different from yours, so it was taking awhile for you to get used to it.

You had finally gotten it on and you put the frying pan on the burner to heat up.

You turned your back to it and leaned against the nearby counter, appreciating the view you had of your boyfriend’s back and biceps.

It was safe to say you were distracted.

So distracted, that you didn’t notice that the shirt you were wearing had been just close enough to the burner that it had caught on fire.

You felt your hip getting a little warm, so you looked down and gasped when you saw that you were literally catching on fire.

You scrambled to rip the shirt off you, throwing it in the thankfully empty sink as you turned the water on, successfully avoiding a major problem and any serious injuries.

Shaking your head, you turned to your lover with an apology ready on your lips, only when you met his eyes, he quickly turned around.

Clearing his throat, he returned to his previous task of cutting the vegetables while he instead nodded his head towards his room.

“You can wear one of my shirts, they’re in the second drawer.” You nodded and made your way into his room, shaking your head to try and rid yourself from any further embarrassment and cool down your overheating face and neck.

Little did you know, Nanami was trying to cool down the burning red on his own face, as well as trying to focus on the vegetables.

Fushiguro Toji:

**In this you two are married and you’re Megumi’s momma**

You guys had recently adopted a cat from a nearby shelter, Toji didn’t want a cat, but between the puppy eyes of not only his young son but his wife, he was never walking out of the shelter without one.

Only, you didn’t walk out with one, since the cat Megumi chose was a female, and pregnant.

So now you guys have 4 cats.

Your kittens were older now, just about 4 months. So you and Megumi would let them out during the day (supervised and with their momma of course) and bring them back in at night. Toji didn’t really care what you did with them since they made you both happy (and it kept you both occupied-).

Toji had come home from a particularly grueling day at work, his shoulders were stiff and he had a small headache, and all he really wanted was to drag you to the bed so he could sleep on top of you while you ran your fingers through his hair and he could finally get some decent sleep.

Does he get that? No.

What he does get is you and Megumi yelling up the tree in front of your house for “Cat! Come down from the tree!” ‘Cat’ was the name of the kitten you and Megumi had forced Toji to name since ‘he had to have one too’, even though it was really just so he had no choice but to let you two keep them all.

Sighing he walked over to you both, ruffling Megumi’s hair and giving you a kiss before he stuck his hands in his pockets and asked the question he didn’t want, or need, the answer to.

“*sigh* what happened?”

Frowning, you looked back to the tree and pointed, revealing the small kitten who had managed to get herself, or himself he couldn’t remember, stuck on one of the lower branches.

“Well, he’ll come down eventually.”

You smacked his arm as Megumi’s eyebrows pinched together, little arms crossing in front of his chest, “It’s a she, daddy. And she’s just a baby! You have to get her down!”

Groaning he brought a hand up to rub his eyes, “There’s no way i’m getting up that tree, I’m way too big, and daddy’s tired”

Pouting, Megumi stood in front of his dad (Let’s say Megumi is 3~), little hands tugging on his pants leg, a little “please daddy?” coming from his trembling lips.

“No, daddy’s right, he’s too old to get in the tree,” You smirked at the glare you got from your husband, “But, if daddy helps me, I can get in the tree.”

So, that’s how you ended up in a tree, gently handing ‘Cat’ down to your husband, who quickly passed her down to Megumi, and found yourself struggling to get down.

You and Megumi had been out and about earlier, and you were wearing a comfortable dress that day, so being in a tree was less than ideal.

With the promise of Toji catching you, you jumped, not expecting the wind to carry your dress, and unintentionally giving your husband a show. Luckily, your son was much more interested in the kitten.

You felt your face heat up as you quickly fixed your dress, your husband just laughed with a ‘nothin’ I haven’t seen before babe’ which was quickly followed by an ‘ow!’ when you smacked him. </3

Zen'in Naoya:

You and Naoya were preparing to have dinner together.

He was sat at the table, finishing up some paperwork while you finished up the food.

Your 2 children, your 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter, were also sat at the table. Your children both telling their father about their days while he listened. (I know he’s literally awful, but if I can pretend Toji isn’t an awful father, I can pretend Naoya isn’t an awful person✌😌)

“And then, Momma told the guy off! It was awesome daddy!” Naoya raised his eyebrow with the smallest hint of a smile tugging the corner of his lip up. “Oh? Did he start crying too?” You gave your husband ‘a look’ while you walked to the table, setting the first dish down on the table before you turned to get another.

Your son giggled, “Like a baby!” Naoya chuckled, shaking his head as he took a sip of water.

He couldn’t help but think back to your younger days, specifically the day the two of you met when you told him off, the day you changed him, and finally the day you made him cry as you walked towards him down the aisle.

“I bet, Your mother has a habit of making men cry.” You sternly called his name from the kitchen as he snickered, your kids breaking out into their own fits of giggles.

You walked back into the dining room carrying in the last dish, shaking your head as you lightly bumped him with your hip as you passed him, him lightly patting your butt as you walked by. “Stop feeding my kids lies.”

He just smirked as he lifted his glass to his lips, he was in the middle of taking a sip when you bent down to place the dish on the table, your shirt dipping low to the point your chest was on show, giving your husband an, albeit welcome, unintentional view.

Choking on his drink, he set the cup down in favor of beating his chest with his fist, you coming over to rub his back, your children looking over in confusion cause...what the heck dad, that was weird.

“What happened? Do I need to get you a sippy cup?” Glaring at you he was finally able to stop coughing, you patting his back as you went back to your seat and sat down.

You raised an eyebrow at him, since he had still yet to tell you why he had suddenly choked on his water. But it was then you noticed just how red his face was, and how low his gaze was.

Looking down and realizing your shirt had drifted down, you fixed it and smirked, struggling to hold in the laughs and snorts that were sure to explode out of you.

Even after almost a decade of marriage, it was good to know you could still make your husband blush like a teenage boy.

Geto Suguru:

You and Geto had gone out on a date!

It was a nicer place, so you were wearing a cute spaghetti strapped dress with some nice shoes, and he was wearing a button down with slacks (sleeves rolled up to his forearms of course🥵).

You had just finished dinner and were now on the walk home.

All night you had been paranoid about your dress, you had gotten it when you and a friend had gone thrift shopping. It was honestly in pretty good condition, the only problem was that the dress’ straps had a good amount of wear on them, so the straps weren’t really that great, and you could feel them loosening as the night went on.

BUT, you were going home now, so it really didn’t matter much anymore.

Geto was lightly swinging your hands between you both as you told him the recent drama you had learned at work.

You were holding your uncomfortable shoes in one hand, and obviously Geto’s hand in the other, so your hands were occupied.

“You would not believe how messy that got. In case you ever think about cheating on me, just remember that man’s gonna be finding glitter in his car for at least a few decades.” Geto laughed as he shook his head, nudging your shoulder with his, “Good thing we don’t have to worry about that, I’m not dumb enough to cheat on my crazy girlfriend.” You made a ‘hmph’ sound and nodded, “Crazy for you~” and laughed when he shook his head.

You guys kept walking, discussing whatever topics came up.

You were almost home, so close to freedom. You called Geto’s name, about to tell him something you had remembered, when you both heard a faint *snap*.

Guided by the rush of cold air you felt hit your chest, you looked down and gasped, you would’ve been quicker to cover yourself except for the fact that both of your hands were occupied.

Working quickly because...you both were still in public, Geto let go of your hand and shrugged his jacket off, draping it around you and grabbing ahold of your hand when you were covered.

You apologized for flashing him and he shook his head, obviously it wasn’t your fault and it’s not like he was complaining.

Gojo Satoru:

Due to a particularly bad run in with a cursed spirit, your usual uniform was trashed, so you had to wear your backup uniform, which also ran small.

All day, you had been fighting with your skirt. It was too tight and too short, and was providing you with a substantial amount of stress.

It was lunch, you were half way through the school day, half a day away from going home and getting to wear your sweatpants.

“Oh Y/n~” Half a day from getting rid of the walking headache you called your co-worker.

Sighing, you stopped from where you were walking in the hallway, turning to face him you raised an eyebrow. “Yes Satoru?”

So, yes, you were ‘co-workers’ and yes, you were technically just friends.

But there was also a painful amount of mutual pining and tension that hung between you two.

“Hey, hey, what’s with the attitude? You’ve been like this all day, it’s gonna start hurting my feelings.” You grimaced as you once again adjusted your skirt, “Yeah, well, you’d be a little irritated if you had to keep fixing your skirt every 2 seconds.”

Gojo hummed, “I can imagine, so, care to join me for lunch?” You replied with a ‘sure’, and the two of you made your way to the teacher’s lounge, side by side.

You walked to the fridge and pulled out your lunch, Gojo not far behind you and you both did the necessary prep you needed for your food.

Gojo finished just barely before you, and was already sitting on one of the couches, happily digging into his food.

Once the microwave stopped you pulled your food out and started walking over to the couch.

You sat down, carefully, and began to eat your lunch.

Despite causing you mass amounts of pain and most likely a gray hair or 2, you thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Gojo, I mean, you were kinda in love with him.

“Ah, Satoru, Y/n, just the two I needed to see.” Gojo’s (likely inaccurate) account of his latest mission came to a pause when Principal Yaga walked in.

He had some information about a mission the 2 of you would be going on in 3 days. Apparently this one would be an undercover mission, and a few days.

During the conversation, Gojo (who tries to always have one of his six eyes on you at all times), had noticed your skirt riding up, and seeing as he liked you, the last thing he wanted was for you to embarrass yourself in front of you guys’s boss.

Keep in mind, it’s not like Gojo was having a great time either, you were sitting right in front of him, but it’s not like he could interrupt the principal and loudly announce you were about to expose yourself.

Thankfully, Kusakabe walked in at that moment, stealing just enough of his time for Gojo to catch your attention (like he didn’t already have it🙄) to mouth ‘Your skirt’ while he made a subtle tugging motion with his hand, going back to like nothing happened and stealing the attention of the men while you fixed your skirt.

That mission may or may not have preceded your first date with him.

Sukuna Ryomen:

You and Sukuna would be going on a date tonight, and you had spent the last half hour or so getting ready.

Your hair and make up was done, you had showered earlier, and all you had left to do was get dressed.

You had gotten dressed in your underwear when your mom had called.

You didn’t get to speak to you often and it had been awhile since you had talked, so you spent a good amount of time catching up and filling each other in on the things you had missed.

It had been about 15 minutes, you were sitting down at your vanity, pants on but still no shirt (hey man, a distraction is a distraction, let me have this i’m tired-).

You were so caught up in your phone call you hadn’t noticed that Sukuna had walked into your shared apartment.

He called out to you, but you didn’t answer. He would’ve been more worried than irritated if he didn’t hear you talking on what he presumed to be the phone.

If he knew you weren’t ready yet, he would’ve knocked, but seeing as you were on the phone, the last thing he expected when he opened your bedroom door was to see you half-naked sitting on your vanity stool like this kind of thing was normal.

“Sh*t. Warn a guy, will you? I’m not complaining but you near gave me a heart attack.” You screeched as you almost threw your phone, apologizing to your mom, you glared at Sukuna as he gave you a look that tip-toed between amusement and bewilderment.

“What, it’s not like I haven’t seen your-” You threw your pillow at him before he could finish his sentence, with your mom of all people listening to your conversation.

You two might have been married, but the last thing you needed was your mom pestering you about grandchildren again.

In case you’re wondering, he was laughing the whole time as you beat him with said pillow for saying those kind of things to your mother.

#megumi fushiguro x reader #itadori x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #nanami x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #naoya x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #sukuna x reader #masamichi yaga x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #JJK #jjk headcanons

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babyboibucky · 4 years

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Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious. Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

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beels-burger-babe · 3 years

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I Can Be Your Type

***I wanted to write some fluff, and all of my current requests, except for maybe one, have angst in them in one form or another. SO I decided to complete the prompt that @poppi144 and I discussed during a "party time" here. So this is happening. Enjoy a break from the angst.*** Summary: Asmodeus is bored one day and, more importantly, he doesn't think he can stand looking at the eyesore of Satan's clothing choices for a second longer. A makeover ensues much to the amusement of the other brothers and annoyance of Satan...that is until MC sees it. Asmodeus smiled mischievously as he peaked into Satan's room. Sitting in his chair, peacefully reading a book and enjoying his day, was Asmodeus's target. He giggled to himself and skipped over to him. "Oh, Satan~" Asmo began in a sing-song voice.

Satan's grip noticeably tightened on the book, but he didn't look away from the pages. "What do you need, Asmo? I'm trying to read." A glance at the cover told him that Satan was reading "Cultural Traditions and Practices of the Humans Realm". Asmo's smile grew. This really was perfect. He draped himself over the back of his brother's chair. "I just thought that perhaps we could help each other out! You see, I am extremely bored and want something to do. Preferably, giving you a makeover." The blond sighed as he flipped the page of his book. "Why in Diavolo's name, would I agree to that?" Asmodeus's grin widened as he swiped Satan's book from his hand and waved it in front of his face. "Because I can turn you into MC's type." Satan paused as a blush dusted across his cheeks. Checkmate.

Satan looked at Asmodeus with intrigue. "They have a type?" The Avatar of Lust laughed as he turned towards the door. "Oh, big brother, you have so much to learn if you actually want to stand a chance against me at winning MC's heart," he smiled over his shoulder. "Come on. Let me work my magic." Satan gave Asmodeus a skeptical look, but sighed and rose to his feet. If there was even the slightest chance of this working, it would be worth it. *** It was not worth it. Satan glared at his reflection in the mirror, "I look ridiculous." Asmodeus giggled as he straightened out the leather, hooded jacket that Satan was wearing. "Nonsense! I put this outfit together myself which means you look amazing!" He beamed at Satan as he took a step back and admired his work. "You look dangerous, mysterious, enticing, cool-" "Foolish," Satan cut off and groaned as he fiddled with the leather cord necklace Asmodeus had put on him. "There's no way this will actually work. You just did this to make me look stupid." Asmo gasped and put a hand on his chest in mock offence. "Like I would ever do something like that to my favourite brother!" Satan just gave him an unimpressed look and began to take off the jacket. Asmodeus quickly rushed over to stop him. "Wait, wait, wait! This wasn't a prank. I seriously think this is MC's type! Trust me on this. At least let them see you in it."

Satan frowned and looked in the mirror. He looked like the stereotypical bad boy in all those animes that Levi watches. He was layered in a white t-shirt with a jacket that appeared to be some kind of leather jacket/hoodie hybrid. The jeans weren't bad. He wore skinny jeans on a regular basis. But these were black and had rips on the knees. His normal dress shoes had been replaced with a pair of black Doc Martins. Asmodeus had even gone so far as to stylistically mess up his hair a little with some gel, and add a very subtle touch of eyeliner around his eyes. Was this really what you were attracted to? Satan huffed and turned to Asmodeus. "Fine. But if they laugh, you will regret this Asmodeus." Asmo let out a cheer as he pushed him out of the door. "Yeah, yeah. Doom and gloom. I get it. You know, you're actually very in character for your look right now." Asmodeus dragged Satan down to the living room where you were supposed to be having a game night with the others. "Oh MC~ I've got a lovely gift for you~" He pushed Satan into the middle of the room and dramatically gestured to him. Only you weren't in the living room. Everyone else was, and they thought this was priceless. Laughter filled the room as the brothers doubled over at the sight of Satan scowling in his bad boy outfit. "Y-You, your look finally matches your sin! Holy fuck!" Mammon howled as he struggled to breathe through his laughter. Belphegor nodded and pointed to Mammon as he cackled. "It's like someone just rained on your black parade! You look like you're about to go kick a bunch of puppies!" Levi snorted and lifted up his phone to take a picture, "This is definitely going on Devilgram." Satan growled and took a threatening step towards Levi. Lucifer chuckled and wiped a tear from under his eye. "Calm down now. We wouldn't you to ruin your eyeliner." The laughter doubled in volume as Satan shouted at Lucifer to shut up. Even Beel was laughing along. "Alright, guys I'm ba-" Everyone went quiet as you entered the room holding a tray of cookies. You froze and stared at Satan with wide eyes and your jaw dropped, a slight blush on your cheeks. "S-Satan you look-" A low snarl came from him as he avoided eye contact with you. "Spare me your pretences and just get to the laughing bit. I've had enough of this." "No!" You squeaked out, causing everyone to stare at you. Your face was quite clearly flushed as you sputtered bashfully. "I-I mean, I wouldn't laugh. You look hot! I-I-I mean good! You look good. Very good indeed," you chuckled nervously and averted your eyes. "Oh Diavolo kill me now," you whispered to yourself.

Asmodeus smiled victoriously while the others gaped at you in shock. Satan merely smirked and walked closer to you. "Oh? Do you enjoy my appearance MC?" More flustered noises came from your mouth as you set down the tray. "I certainly don't not like it. It's j-just a good look for you, th-that's all."

Levi looked between the two of you confused. "Wha- MC! He looks like bullies in every high school anime that we've ever watched!" Satan noted with amusement that you seemed to glance at him with even more interest now. "You mean the ones that tease the protagonist, have a soft side, and nine times out ten builds into an enemies-to-lovers plot with an incredible redemption arc? I'm aware," there was an adorable bashful tone to your voice that made Satan smile wider. He approached you and took your hand into his own. "Then perhaps I should let you get to know my soft side more? Would you care to join me over some tea and light reading library?" he lowered his tone into a seductive husky rumble. "I have a thousand poems that have reminded me of you, which I would love to share." The brothers watched in horror as you became even more of a flustered mess and nodded eagerly. "Eh?! But it's game night MC!" Mammon quickly piped in, throwing in a pair of puppy dog eyes for good measure. You barely glanced in his direction. "Lucifer had just beat me out of the round anyway. You guys enjoy the cookies, I'm going to catch up with Satan." The fourth born led you by the hand as he looked back and smirked at the others. "Enjoy your game night, and thanks for the help Asmo." Silence filled the room after you two left.

"Damn. That worked better than intended," Asmo stated with slight envy on his tongue. Mammon glared at him. "Ya had to give him a make-over and make him look like a hunk, didn't ya?" Lucifer leaned back watching the door. "It's unfortunate. Though perhaps not an entirely negative thing. We can learn something from this," everyone looked at Lucifer curiously. For the next two weeks, the House of Lamentation was full of leather jackets and eyeliner.

*** This was so fun to write. I hope you guys enjoyed it 😊***

#obey me shall we date #obey me fic #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me demon brothers #obey me fan fic #obey me fluff #my writing #obey me

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stay-outta-my-blood-circle · 3 years

Text

In honor of his day, I watched both My Bloody Valentine movies today, and I've got some Harry Warden thoughts to share - especially regarding my pet headcanon of him as a Michael-Myers-esque liminal holiday-haunting. (Keep in mind this is not intended to be dogmatic, and I could easily be completely wrong, but I'm absolutely gonna die on this hill.)

For the record - and I realize it's an unpopular opinion - I prefer the remake to the original (for reasons, leave me alone), and it's the remake I'll mostly be talking about here, but let's start with the OG movie. Spoilers ahead, if that matters to you. Also, I think this is even longer than my post about Vincent's face, so buckle up.

So, to recap the original:

Harry Warden, along with a four others, ends up trapped in the mine after his supervisors cut corners and leave early so they can go to the town's valentine's day dance. After six weeks, they finally dig them out, but Harry is the only one still alive - he'd killed and eaten the others to survive. He spends a year in a mental institution before returning (on Valentine's day) to kill the supervisors that caused the cave in - and then disappears again. Twenty years later, the town dares to hold the Valentine's dance again - and back comes Harry Warden to paint the town red (literally).

... Or does he? We find out that the real Harry Warden actually died five years ago, and when the miner is unmasked he turns out to be Axel - bf of the heroine and old friend(?) of TJ, the protagonist. It is revealed that one of the supervisors Harry killed twenty years ago was Axel's father, and Axel (a young child at this point) had witnessed the murder. He ends up separated from the others by a small cave in and loses an arm in the rubble, but manages to run away after some crazy mutterings.

We are left to understand that watching Harry kill his father traumatized him and caused some kind of insanity to take root, which led to this mental break. Which, okay, sure - it's not an unusual motivation for a killer in this genre. To round out this section, I'm going to note some of Axel's final lines (without telling you why it's important yet):

"Harry, I'm coming!" and "we're coming back, you bastards!"

Now on to the remake.

It mostly follows in the footsteps of the original, with a few twists. This time, Harry ends up trapped in the mine with 5 other men because our protagonist, Tom (this movie's version of TJ, and also the son of the mine owner), forgets to double check the standard safety precautions before he leaves (for a Valentine's party with his friends, I think). In this case, it's more of a genuine accident than negligent slacking, but either way the deed is done.

They dig him out sooner this time (after less than a week, I'm pretty sure), but he's 'in critical condition... delusional and combative' - and still the only survivor. They eventually retrieve all the bodies and realize the men were killed by pickaxe blows (but not cannibalized), and theorize that Harry killed them all to conserve his own oxygen. They can't ask Harry, because he's in the hospital in a coma - where he stays for a whole year, until next Valentine's day. At which point he wakes up, massacres an entire wing of the hospital, and escapes.

He shows up at the mines, where Tom is attending a party with his girlfriend, and slaughters a bunch of people again. He finally ends up face-to-face with Tom and tries to kill him, but the police chief arrives and shoots him a few times. He stumbles away into the mine, and the story goes that he was never found but is presumed dead. Tom is shaken and moves away.

When the murderous miner turns up again ten years later, right after Tom returns to his hometown to sell the mine, everyone assumes Harry is back - especially since he seems to be gunning for Tom in particular - until we find out that the sheriff and a couple other town elders had actually found, killed, and buried him out in the woods after the attack at the mine - keeping it a secret since they basically executed him without due process. Except... when they go to check the body, it's gone, along with all his stuff! So maybe it is him after all?

Nope, it isn't. And it's not Axel, either, unlike the original movie. It was Tom the whole time, but the thing is... he doesn't seem to be aware of it. He seems to truly believe the miner is some other person (Axel, he thinks) - he sees him, after all. He has no reason to suspect what he's seeing isn't real.

During the climax, Axel reveals that he found records of Tom having been in a mental institution up until recently, right before Tom starts to panic as "Harry Warden" approaches them - much to the confusion of the two other people present, who, in fact, don't see anything where he's pointing.

Tom begins to have flashbacks which show him committing the murders he previously attributed to Harry (as well as taking his mask, etc from his makeshift grave site):

He's visibly distressed and confused both during and immediately after these flashbacks -- right up until this moment:

Sarah: Harry's not here, Tom.

Axel: No... he's here. Aren't you, Harry? You living inside Tom?

Tom(?): Oh, I'm right here.

Notice that sudden shift? Expression, tone of voice, emotional state - it all changes like a switch has been flipped. And from here on, he doesn't seem to be 'Tom' anymore. He proceeds to chase Axel and Sarah (whom he has always been shown to care deeply about, and protect, btw) around the mine, while wearing an expression we've never seen on him before, until he gets shot, part of the mine caves in around him, and Axel and Sarah make it out. They assume Tom(?) was killed in the cave in (he wasn't; he is canonically still alive and I want a sequel, damn it, but that's off topic).

So: the guy's just crazy again, right? Dissociative Identity Disorder or something? Well, let's talk about that, because...

For my money, the answer is no.

Do you remember those lines of dialogue from the original film that I noted earlier? Contrast those with the ones just above.

"We're coming back" vs. "I'm right here."

Axel never claims to be Harry Warden (I'm pretty sure) - nor is he shown in that light - it's more like he's taken up the mantle. Tom, on the other hand...

Visually, the movie seems to be making a pretty clear point here -- and that point is supernatural possession.

But Rune, I hear you say, these things could easily be explained by DID! They did make specific mention of his time in a mental institution, after all. Besides, nothing explicitly paranormal has happened in the movie before now.

And you're right! You're so smart!! But let me tell you why I believe the scales tip in the direction of possession. Remember how I said Tom found where Harry was buried and took his mask and pickaxe? And remember how I also said that Harry's grave site was a well-kept secret (like a 'take this to my grave' kind of secret)?? Yeah.

How would Tom - who hasn't been back to his hometown in a decade, I might add - know where to find Harry's grave? He walked right up to it and started digging. While we're at it, I'd like to point out that when Harry did this in the beginning:

Tom wasn't there yet to see it. But see what he's doing in the gifs above? No way is that a coincidence.

So, in light of all the evidence provided herein, my statement is this: Tom doesn't have DID, nor is he "copying" Harry -- he's possessed by him. Probably has been since before he left Harmony (leading to whatever symptoms landed him in an institution). And he wasn't even aware of it until the end of the movie.

In conclusion, I hereby propose that Harry Warden officially be included in the 'supernatural slashers' category.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.

#Rune writes #I guess #Harry Warden #My Bloody Valentine #slashers #slasher fandom #this is long. I need to stop doing this #also wanted to talk about how Harry himself might not even be the possessing spirit #mines are often considered to be places where the veil between worlds/realities/whatever is thin. or places where Something Old Sleeps #there could have been something nonhuman down there that got Harry first #(leading to the murder of the other miners and his 'delusional and combative' state upon his reemergence. and all the violence since)#and after Harry died the being changed hosts to someone close by and connected to the events and in a vulnerable state emotionally #but that's strictly conjecture based on my immense love of the Old Gods of Appalachia podcast

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gravesightings · 3 years

Note

May I request the slasher’s reaction to their s/o getting a bad haircut! (btw hope your day/night is going well).

of course! and things have been going well, thank you. 💖

slashers reactions to: their s/o getting a bad haircut

Asa Emory / The Collector

depending on whether or not you actually consulted him beforehand, this could go two ways.

if you didn't, he'd be upset. who gave you permission to have your hair cut? why didn't you ask him first? does he need to remind you of your place again?

Asa might leave you be for a couple of days depending on how drastic the change is. if it can be remedied easily, he'll have you beg for forgiveness but if not - don't be offended when he starts bringing you wigs. actually, he won't care either way. this is your fault.

if it's something you two have talked over then he's a lot more sympathetic about it. especially if you feel insecure over it. it's not so bad actually. if you're lucky you might catch him fiddling with your hair while you sleep.

overall he's indifferent to it. it's just hair? it's not the end of the world. just be thankful that he has no interest in experimenting with hair implants.

Billy Lenz

it might seem like he wouldn't notice but he's actually quite perceptive to these kinds of things. Billy is absolutely the type to notice any sort of physical change no matter how subtle it is.

unsurprisingly, this is because he spends almost all of his time watching you. of course he's bound to notice!

he'll definitely point it out but he'd either be neutral or mildly upset about it. if he dislikes it, you would know immediately because he would pull your hair and demand answers.

if it's not that big of a difference and he's craving a bit of your company Billy would want to brush your hair for you! isn't he sweet? unless of course it gets tangled, then you might actually end up looking worse. (unless you teach him how to do it properly.)

if he's feeling more gracious than usual he might even offer to remedy it! whether or not you decide to indulge him is entirely up to you. there's a slim chance he would actually be good at it but denying him isn't recommended either..

Bo Sinclair

there's no sugar-coating it. Bo will laugh at you. he might even point it out to his brothers if you look especially funny.

did you go to a blind hairdresser? head got stuck in a lawnmower? got attacked by a bunch of bloodthirsty birds? you're never going to hear the end of it. he's never going to let this go even after your hair grows out.

would constantly tease you about it but it's mostly out of love. he might even come up with cute nicknames for you depending on how badly you messed up your haircut.

if someone else tries to make fun of you though that's an entirely different story. only he can call you ugly duckling! if someone else does it then he's ready to crack someone's skull open.

denies he was doing anything to defend you. Bo would just claim that they were being too loud for his liking. it had nothing to do with you. nope. not at all. "it's 'cause your hair's so damn ugly that they died on the spot."

Brahms Heelshire

what have you done?! this is MUTINY! he's been BETRAYED! dramatically reaches out to feel your hair with his trembling fingers.

this is all so wrong... so very wrong. at first he would only be able to stare at you in utter disbelief. as if you've spat at his face and insulted his entire bloodline.

Brahms takes it as a personal attack against him. sure, he can be a handful at times but he'd never thought you'd be this cruel! it might take some thorough explaining that no, actually you hadn't intended to end up like this.

regardless he would be very upset. he's rather fond of your hair and if it was longer before and much shorter now, he might not be able to recover from it until it grows back. Brahms is a bit shallow, you see.

when your hair does eventually grow out expect him to treat you like a ticking time bomb. he can't possibly trust you with keeping it pristine now! it's decided. Brahms would just have to cut your hair for you. unlike Billy though, he has slightly more experience since he cuts his own hair so you might not have to worry too much.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba absolutely adores you either way! literally nothing can convince him otherwise. he might even get upset if you tell him it's ugly. no no no, you can't possibly be ugly! you're his s/o! you look wonderful no matter what!

as for the rest of the family... the twins love it too! they might even call you a trendsetter. they might come off as patronizing if you haven't been around that long to know them but they're actually genuinely into it. it's fun and quirky and nobody else has it! what do you mean you look bad?

Drayton is a lot less enthusiastic about it. he'll throw in an insult here and there but nothing too harsh unless it's getting in the way of your chores. if it bothers you so much he might actually shave all of your hair off. (don't worry! Bubba will protect you!)

if you're adamant about remedying your look then Bubba would offer to help. unfortunately he has little to no experience with cutting hair. he was the one offering his help but.. are you sure you want him to do this? he's more worried about accidentally snipping your ear off than he is ruining your look.

Bubba wouldn't really understand if you happen to be worked up about it. he truly, wholeheartedly thinks that you look gorgeous no matter what you do with your appearance. it's still you under there after all!

Jason Voorhees

he'd be surprised at first but will try to play it cool if you become self-conscious. points at something just above your head. he wasn't staring at your hair, he was looking at...uh. that bird up that tree! it flew away when you looked... too bad..

like Bubba, Jason loves you no matter how you look. big boy does not care at all. things will stay pretty much the same. he’s not the type to make a big deal about it just because you look a little different.

he would make sure to shower you with compliments if he catches you fussing over your appearance though. bring in the gifts! he picked up this cool hat for you, do you want it? how about these hair clips? he wants to help as much as he can.

Jason would not want to fix it for you but it’s not like he can deny you when you’re asking for his help. what if he messes it up? what if you get mad at him? what if he accidentally hurts you? it’s too risky. he doesn’t even know how to! hopefully his many concerns would be enough to convince you to just let it be.

if not, well.. his hands would be trembling the entire time. this poor man would be scared to death to snip even a single strand of your hair. why would you put him through this? not only would it take him hours before doing anything noticeable, he would be in a constant state of dread the entire time.

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

WHEEZE. babe, what happened? who did you offend? he’s very desperately trying not to laugh at you but he’s failing. what a gentleman. Jesse would inspect the damage - totally not struggling to hide his laughter - before claiming that he hadn’t noticed anything until you pointed it out.

he’ll tease you about it, asking if you’ve been out making enemies behind his back. he won’t be as much of an asshole as Bo per se but he’s not about to pass up the opportunity to get a reaction from you.

Jesse is more of a romantic about it, holding you close and placing a palm on your chest. what matters to him is this, he signs. ...your tits. oh and your heart too, but that’s just a bonus. he’s kidding! stop hitting him! (claims to have planned this just to make you smile all along. sneaky bastard.)

if it’s something that bothers you, he’ll have a hairdresser come over for a home service. why are you surprised? were you expecting him to bring you to the salon? the barbers? why would he do something like that? he’s offended!

now you’ve done it - you’ve bruised his ego. the man’s just showing off at this point. within the short period of time the hairdresser took to fix your little problem, Jesse somehow managed to get more people involved. they’re wheeling all sorts of expensive-looking equipment in. one claims they’re a nail technician and the other a masseuse. oh you had plans today? too bad, you're getting pampered and that’s final.

Michael Myers

if it’s really bad then he might let out a small chuckle but that’s pretty much it. the most he’ll do is run his fingers through your hair. Michael doesn’t really care all that much for appearance either.

but he’s not as eager to console you like the rest of the slashers are. if it’s a bad haircut then it’s bad - he’s not the type to beat around the bush. “do you think I look stupid?” he’ll nod. if you react negatively to that he’ll just shrug. you asked! what do you want him to do, lie?

Michael would help you out if you asked but it’s ill-advised. he’s decent with a pair of scissors but he’s going to keep cutting shorter and shorter until you either stop him or you run out of hair. (there’s no guarantee he’ll stop even if you asked nicely.) clearly this is your fault. why would you trust him with a pair of scissors?

this should be obvious but do not let him anywhere near your hair with anything sharp. he might take matters in his own hands if he sees how fixated you are with your haircut. if it’s that bad, he’ll snip away while you sleep. Michael would be careful not to wake you.

overall you’re almost guaranteed to have an awful time if Michael decides he wants to do something about it. he’s not going to make fun of you but you’re going to wish he did instead of butchering your precious mane.

Thomas Hewitt

oh, honey... what happened? he’ll set you on his lap to give you a good look-over. Tommy is not all too concerned about how you look but how you feel about it so he’ll help in any way he can. if you’re upset about it he’ll press a quick kiss on the crown of your head to reassure you.

nothing a little trim can’t fix! as good as he is with his hands, he has almost no experience with hair so he would have to ask Luda Mae for help. he’ll be there too don’t you worry your pretty little head!

Luda Mae would coo at you affectionately, earning a disapproving “tsk, tsk.“ at the poor soul who had done this to you. they would be the talk of the town. if you somehow did this to yourself, then she’ll scold you out of love. why didn’t you ask her instead? after the whole ordeal is sorted out though she’ll beam with pride when you comment on how good it turned out.

Hoyt is most likely going to chide on how badly you messed it up if you were the one responsible but if it was someone else, you best believe he’d be out of the door in search for the s.o.b. what kind of hairdresser would do such a half-assed job?

if you’re not quite close to the family yet, Tommy would do it but he’s unfortunately not as good as Luda Mae. he won’t be as bad as Michael though so you can still save whatever dignity you have left.

Vincent Sinclair

unsurprisingly, he’s the mature one out of the bunch and like Tommy, he’s more concerned about how you feel instead of how you look. he would immediately try to fix it - you won’t even have to ask. Vincent won’t even give you time to actually feel bad about it, that’s how much he cares about you.

he usually doesn’t alter his victims’ appearances so he doesn’t have much experience but he’s not about to tell you that! his caring side would definitely override his lack of confidence. congrats! Vincent does a pretty good job. he would even give you a trim if you asked.

if you somehow ran into his brothers first then there’s no escaping it. Bo’s going to laugh at you. Lester wouldn’t really insult you but he’ll poke fun at you, saying that it would be much easier to find you now, much to Bo’s amusement. luckily for you, they’d made enough ruckus to draw out Vincent.

Vincent wouldn’t necessarily defend you from his brothers, just silently tug you somewhere else - prompting Bo to call him out for being a killjoy. unfortunately since he’s used to his brothers picking at him he’ll expect you to do the same. afterwards he won’t take long to fix your haircut.

this isn’t going to stop Bo from calling you names though. Lester wouldn’t do it but he’s not exactly opposed to what he assumes is just friendly banter. they’re unlikely to cross the line since they know how much you mean to Vincent so unless you’re especially sensitive, then it’s nothing too serious.

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