#this has been floating around my brain and my drafts for a while so i finally finished it

[writing-good-vibes]

mother is the name for god

here we are, my first fic for halloween ends. honestly i've wanted to write something since the movie came out and i'm pretty happy with this !! WARNING for corey having major mommy issues, general themes of depression and anxiety, implied emotional and mildly implied psychical abuse

No matter how badly Corey tried to stay out of his momma's clutches, it was no use. It never worked. And he had been trying, in one way or another, for as long as he could remember. He could never get away. This is how it was meant to be.

By the time they get home from the courthouse, it's way past dinner. Corey was still in his suit, an off-the-rack two piece he'd had since high school and had been forgotten at the back of his closet, until now. It still felt itchy on his back, enough to make his skin crawl, even after so many months of hearings.

Ronald was driving, his driving posture relaxed, though his tense fingers on the steering wheel gave him away. Momma was talking in the passenger seating, damning the judge and the jury and the Allens -- anyone else she could think of really -- for their incompetence. For putting her boy through what they did. Corey sat silently in the back, low in his seat as they re-entered Haddonfield.

When they stop to pick up dinner from the Chinese restaurant in town, Corey should be pleased. He doesn't think he could stomach his momma's cooking, especially not after the day he'd had. But he doesn't feel much like celebrating either, even when momma let's them eat their take out off of tv trays in the lounge.

Corey goes to bed as soon as he can. He watches the soft blink of the radio tower in the distance, but it doesn't lull him to sleep like it sometimes managed too. He rolls onto his side instead, squinting without his glasses to watch the clock on his bedside tick over, one minute after the next. He can feel it, the churning wave inside him that is building, pulling back from the shore like a tsunami before impact. It starts to overwhelm him. the weight of the world that had been forced into his shoulders was finally going to crush him, Corey thinks, a weight so heavy he was scared he'd never be able to get up again.

He needs to escape before the wave breaks and there's only one place to go. Only one place left.

He gets out of bed, feet landing lightly on the floorboards. A habit. Corey drags the blanket from the end of his bed, a greying baby blue thing he's had since he was small, and sets off down the hall.

Ronald comes out of his parents bedroom, and Corey flinches as though he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be. A moment passes between them that feels longer than it probably is. Ronald smiles, something close to sympathetic but not quite. He must see something though, in the way Corey's eyes are wet or in the twitch of his lip. He's seen Corey cry before.

The moment passes and he claps Corey on the shoulder, "It's okay, kid. It'll be okay." Ronald continues down the hall and down the stairs.

Momma's bedroom door creaks, it has for as long as Corey can remember. He cracks the door to his momma's room and peers inside. She's sat up in bed, glasses slipping down her nose and smoothing lotion into her hands.

"Ronald," she starts before looking up at the door. When she sees instead that it is Corey, she frowns. Her voice grates in the quiet night, "Corey? What are you doing out of bed?"

But Corey is already inside, shutting the door behind him and he can't stop his lip from quivering, can't stop the tears blurring his vision even further as he drags the blanket along behind him.

"Oh," Joan throws her arms open and beckons her baby forward. "Corey, come here."

Corey crawls under the comforter, in besides his mother. He cries; endless tears trailing down his cheeks and his nose streaming. His momma pulls him into her arms, against her chest. All he can smell is the old fashioned perfume she wears and the cigarettes they both pretend she doesn't smoke. All he can feel is the softness of her nightgown and her cruel, fierce embrace. He's tried running away from it before, but for once in his whole life, this is all he wants.

"Momma," he cries, letting himself hold onto her for dear life. "Momma, m'sorry, m'sorry, m'sorry..."

She shushes him gently, not in that whip sharp way she would when he got too rowdy as a child, a sound that served as a warning for something sharper to come. No, this time is was gentle, so genuinely gentle, that it made him cry even harder.

"It's okay, baby," and Corey doesn't see the ghost of a smile on her lips, "your mother will always, always love you."

When Corey first started preschool, he cried every single day. The other parents at the school yard, the ones Joan spoke to before alienating them entirely, told her it that yes, it was difficult, but now was the right time to cut the apron strings. That Corey needed to learn how to socialise. Joan smiled tightly and pushed down the anger that surged through her. How could these people tell her it was the right thing to do, to let her baby hurt so much? Every day Corey cried, and every day he would come home, climb into his momma's lap and let her rock him. The years would pass by and he'd learn better.

His breath rattles softly in his chest as the tears dry up and he finally catches his breath and Corey falls into an empty, dreamless sleep.

In the morning he will wake up and know that he let himself fall back into her clutches. Know that she has him. But tonight he stays where he is, clinging to his mother.

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Jealous of Joe | Juraj Slafkovský

wc. 1.9k

Juraj's jealous when he sees you with another certain athlete

(sorry for the bad google translate throughout)

You jog down the steps of Nationwide Arena until you're face to face with a wall of glass blocking you from the players on the ice. Your eyes roam the red and white jerseys, finding purchase when they land on the familiar number 20. You look over his figure, studying the way he skates down the ice with ease. He looks like he’s floating, stick down, looking for the puck, focused, perfect. 

You and Juraj Slafkovský have been friends since the minute he was drafted by the Montreal Canadiens. As one of many social media managers, you became best friends with the whole team, finding safe spaces in Cole, Nick, Kirby, Kaiden, Monty, and most importantly, Juraj. 

The first thing you ever bonded over was your mutual knowledge of the Finnish language. The two of you could converse for hours in Finnish and not even realize until another one of the boys finally gains the courage to ask about what you two have been saying. They even tried to use it to their advantage, asking if you understood what he would say in Slovak but you were no use in that department. 

You try to snap yourself out of the trance you were in, looking around the rink to see what kind of media you could create before the game. You’re in the middle of thinking up a new question or tiktok challenge when you feel a presence next to you. 

“They look good,” the stranger says from next to you and you don’t look over as you respond, somewhat hoping the person leaves. 

“Hopefully they keep it up during the game tonight,” you respond, knowing the Hab's tendency for third period strikeouts. 

“You think Caufield will score?” the boy next to you asks and you shrug. 

“It’ll make my job easier if he does,” you joke and the laugh that sounds from next to you is so melodic it has curiosity leading you to turn your head. 

To say you’re shocked by the man standing next to you is an understatement. After working in this league it takes a lot for you to get star struck by an athlete but you’re speechless, jaw dropped open looking at Joe Burrow standing next to you. 

“Holy shit,” you blurt out and the older boy turns to look at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“I’m Joe,” he says, holding a hand out for you to shake and you can’t help the shiver that runs down your back when his hand slides perfectly into yours. 

“(y/n),” you say, still not quite sure that you’re not totally dreaming. “No offense, but what are you doing here?” 

His laugh has you smiling right along with him and you find yourself wanting to hear more of it. 

“I’ve been meaning to come out and see a game for a while, meet the players and so on. I figured since I’m injured,” he takes the moment to lift up a carefully wrapped wrist in front of your eyes. “I would come and check it out.” 

“Well if you’re expecting your fellow Ohioans to win, I apologize in advance,” you say and Joe throws his head back in laughter.

“Oh really?” 

The two of you continue talking, trading jokes and reveling in each other's laughter. You were beyond enjoying the conversation with Joe and you almost forgot about the ongoing practice and job you should be doing. 

Juraj certainly didn’t forget. During practice, a game, in the arena, out of the arena, no matter what Juraj always has an eye on you. The minute you stepped up to the glass during his practice his eye was on you, watching what you were doing, but more importantly, who you ended up talking to. Juraj’s furious and jealous gaze roams your figure, hating the way your head is thrown back in laughter, pink rising to your cheeks at his words, the slight, shy movements he knew all too well. 

At some point his brain must have shut off because suddenly his body is barreling down the ice without a second thought. You’re mid sentence to Joe when a loud bang sounds in front of you and you both jump back in fear. You look up to see Juraj standing there, a sheepish smile on his lips but something different in his eyes. You shoot him a look that conveys the sentence “are you serious right now???” and Juraj waves awkwardly before backing off and skating away. 

“Your boyfriend?” Joe asks and you jump at his voice, forgetting he was there for a moment. 

“No, no,” you say, glancing at him before reverting back to following Juraj’s movements. “Just friends.” 

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked you out then?” Joe asks and your body fully turns towards him at the question. 

“I can pick you up before the game tonight? I have an empty seat next to me,” he offers and you grin. 

“I’d love to.” 

Juraj spends the rest of practice pissed and all the boys can tell. They’re even playing a game, seeing who can mess with him the most before he truly snaps. 

Nick takes pity on him, the captain skating over to the young player. He follows Juraj’s gaze to where you are and watches as his eyes flame in anger when you smile at Joe. 

“What's up?” Nick asks, vague enough that Juraj can tell him what’s actually going on or he can brush it off. 

“He can fight?” Juraj asks and Nick fully turns to him in shock.

“What?” 

“I’m gonna fight him if he goes out with her,” Juraj says, determination so deep in his eyes that Nick knows he’s not a force to be reckoned with. 

Normally, before games you’re nervous for other reasons. Making sure you have enough content, tweets are loaded and ready to go, photos are edited and stats are ready to be posted. This time, your coworker is taking on those nerves while yours belong to the date you were about to go on. 

You looked over your outfit for what feels like the millionth time and smooth out the canadiens jersey that falls over your body. You were showing up with Joe but still had Juraj’s last name on your back; the irony. Joe knocks on your hotel room door right at 7 and you let out a breath before making your way to the front door. 

You were no stranger to Joe’s pregame outfits but you were shocked out how he could still look so incredibly good even in a simple t-shirt and jeans. His smile is blinding and while you know you should be swooning at the sight, you can only think about Juraj’s crooked smile, the way he looks down, not wanting anyone else to see the beauty. 

You and Joe head to the arena, a short drive in his luxury car and he’s nothing but a gentleman the entire time. Your heart flutters from time to time but you’re not sure if it’s because of Joe, or because you're nervous to see Juraj. 

You two take your time getting to your seats, stopping to grab drinks before heading down as the players are finishing warm ups. Juraj thinks he’s safe, that he won’t have to control a temper for the rest of the game but it all falls flat when he sees Joe with an arm slung around your shoulders in the front row. 

“Leave it be,” Nick warns the younger player and he shakes his head, praying his focus turns towards the game. 

The game against the blue jackets is physical, to say the least. The boys are playing like it’s a revenge tour and the game is tied for most of the time. Third period begins and Juraj is firing on all cylinders at this point. He’s finishing his checks, he’s rushing down the ice, he’s doing anything and everything to forget about you and Joe. 

You watch as Juraj digs for the puck, a battle between him and one of the blue jackets players trying to gain possession of the puck. It sails down towards Nick and Juraj lets up, words clearly exchanged between him and the opposer. 

“Careful before I take your girl out next,” the player sneers at Juraj and he’s officially seeing red. 

You watch in slight horror as Juraj slams the player into the boards and fists go flying. The fight must last a quick 20 seconds but feels like a lifetime. You’re on your feet and pressed against the glass as Juraj gets up, a fresh cut on his cheekbone and his hair disheveled and hanging over his now dark eyes. 

 “Holy fuck,” you breathe out, watching as Juraj is escorted down the tunnel and some of the boys are casting glances in your direction. 

“(y/n)?” you’re snapped out of your trance at Joe’s voice and turn to find him with worry and understanding in his gaze. 

“I have to go check on him,” you say and Joe nods. 

He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your cheek that explains all of his thoughts and feelings. You smile, a bit of sadness laced in the look, before parting and heading straight for the locker room. 

You race down, surprisingly not getting lost as you run and you flash your access badge like your life depends on it. You finally come face to face with the locker room door and you take a deep breath before flinging it open, unable to stay away from Juraj any longer. 

“Kto si, do pekla, myslí, že je? Sedí tam s ním a užíva si každú sekundu!! A ten sráč, ktorý-” Your brain flies a million miles an hour trying desperately to grasp the little Slovak language you know but to no avail. 

“Juraj?” you call and the 6 foot 2 hockey player halts all movements before turning towards you. 

“What are you doing here?” he grinds out, chest heaving trying to catch his breath. 

“I wanted to check on you.” 

“jebať ma,” he mutters angrily. “Go back to your new boyfriend.” 

Juraj was torn clean in half between two sides. One desperately wanting you here, wanting you to stay and talk to him, to explain that Joe meant nothing to you. The other half of him is infuriated, feeling disrespected that you would show up now after flaunting Joe in front of him. 

“What the fuck is your issue?” you snap, taking several steps till you're inches from Juraj’s face. 

“Ježiš Kristus.”

That’s the last thing you hear before Juraj leans down and slams his lips against yours, the kiss lighting you end to end in a fiery passion. His hands wrap around your waist and pull you up onto your tip toes and press your chest against his padded one. Your body takes a minute to catch up and when you do, your hands tangle deep into Juraj’s damp strands pulling him close and begging him to never let go. 

Unfortunately, humans need air and the two of you separate, panting heavily for a moment after. You fall back onto your heels and Juraj’s eyes search yours for a moment before speaking again. 

“You’re my issue,” he says and before you can retort he shushes you. “I love you. You walked into my game with my name on your back but your hand holding his.” 

Your eyes stare deep into his, your heart cracking at the idea that Juraj could ever be hurt by your actions. However, it’s filled back up when you remember him admitting that he loves you. 

“Oh minun rakkauteni,” you murmur, pulling him into you again and reveling in the feeling of his lips on yours. 

“It’s you baby. It always has been and it always will be,” you promise. 

Juraj grins against you, the moment fleeting but lasting forever. 

[erinwantstowrite]

i feel like if you released a 24 hour + video of you talking about your plans for your original book i would sit and watch all of that with no breaks. so: would you be willing to share at least the bare bones of the plot you have now? or even some tropes that would be in it? or maybe random questions like how many main characters? how many povs? if it's sci-fi or fantasy? just stuff like that!

ahhhh!! i'd love to talk about them because they're constantly rotating in my brain!! i hope this doesn't get too long but we all know me, i can never stop yapping 😭

(okay this is present erin editing before posting and yeah this got long guess who called it. anyways there's art and stuff under the cut as well)

(Marked this as mature with violence only because there is an image below where I drew injuries/cuts on a character)

This book has been a thousand different books in all kinds of settings, plots, lessons, etc, and that's because I've had these characters since I was in middle school. At first I was so obsessed with them that I'd write and draw them all the time, to the point that my teachers were concerned I wasn't paying attention. I was seriously into magic and fantasy at the time because Harry Potter books were still the epitome of writing to my middle school brain. Ruby was a wizard with a bird theme that lived in the countryside and one day found out that her town was "alive" in a sense... But after I lost that sketchbook with all of the details (devastated to this day), and started venturing into other books series and shows, etc, I sort of forgot about the og story or what it was like. What remained was a love for the characters I had made over anything else about them, so I'd end up writing stories with a different theme each time, but the ocs being the same, just with their backgrounds shifted. (Around the time I was obsessed with VLD, Ruby was in a sci-fi plot set on a planet in another solar system.)

One of the most recent iterations was Ruby and the other characters essentially struggling to understand death, life, and everything in between. The story is called "Behind the Blue Glass" and I still really like that title lol. All of them had died on the same day, at the same time, just in various different ways, and then all of them came back to life in the same manner. They all developed different powers from the experience: Liam could float/manipulate gravity), August's body was essentially a phantom that could go through objects and disappear, Vin could possess people, Jean had an empathy link with the dead and could talk to and see them clearly, and Maya could figure out someone's cause of death/also tell when people were about to die. As for Ruby, she's the only one who can move freely between the land of the living and the land of the dead. It's different from Jean seeing the dead, as she's still in the land of the living.

The plot of that story was Ruby having dreams/visions of these other people she had never met before and knowing she needed to find them and set "something" right, but she didn't know what. She sets out to find them anyways, and they each join her on her quest to find everyone simply because they never got an answer to how they came back from the dead and find it weird that they all died on the same day and time. They solve deaths of ghosts they come across, meet people who are still grieving lost ones, have to lay some of the ghosts down to rest- all while figuring out why these shady people have started following them and trying to stop them from figuring out what happened to them. I even made some first draft titles (definitely, 10000% inspired by PJO because I was reading it at the time):

to top it all off, it's set in the 2010's I believe? Around that time. Just because I think more books should write about the time era

I have some (recentish) art of the characters:

first image: (Liam on the right, August on the left)

this is what Ruby looked like when I was first designing them for the story:

They're meant to look dead-ish but this art was SO long ago when I wasn't confident in my art so Ruby just looks like a wet rat or smth idk what is going on here

And here's Vin!! I don't hate this drawing of him that much, surprisingly, but this was also drawn a while ago

and this was some art i was planning at the time:

i think that's all of the art that i have for this story (at least on this computer. My old laptop might have more but it's been laid to rest)

to be honest, i'm still thinking about writing this story, but Ruby's name would be changed because at this point, this iteration of her character is VERY different from present day. She's two different characters at this point 💀 that's how you know I've had her for SO long because she looks so different from her original drawings.

The latest version of Ruby ended up in a story with completely different characters in the cast and a completely different setting (even if some of the characters were inspired by their og versions). It's called "The Clocktower's Chime"

It's very much inspired by those reincarnation manhwas. I like those stories but they all have the same plot over and over, and while I was more interested in the versions where the character is sent back in time to live their life again but with all the knowledge they had in the future, I always struggled with the aspect that the characters' mental age is far older than they are. It makes the dynamics a little weird, but they can be excused unless it's a romantic dynamic, I would think? I dunno, it was hard to get into the plots mostly because of that.

So I used Ruby as a placeholder OC and came up with a story where upon their death in the future, someone casts a spell or a god sends them back, and instead of having a mental older age, they get a journal with all of the details of their future. Ruby woke up one day and found a journal written by herself that detailed everything about her future up to the point of her death. It was more like a book, however, rather than a journal. It just looked like a journal because it was in her handwriting.

So Ruby gets this book, doesn't believe it at all, until she notices that there are way too many "coincidences" lining up with the events of the book. She starts believing it could be true, and then decides it must be when she finds out that a prominent family in the country she lives in is going to visit her hometown. In the book, they were there because they learned that Ruby was their daughter that had been kidnapped as a baby and believed dead. However, in the book, Ruby had spent her entire life living as a weapon instead of a daughter, and she died by their hands when she refused to kill a woman that is prophesized to end a war that would devastate both countries.

Ruby is, like, 12 at that point. So her kid brain is like "obviously I run away and go to school in a different country and tell everyone I have a different name and there's no way this could go wrong." Except before she can even do that, she runs into Julias Parlia, a Duke's son from the country that is supposed to be her enemy in the future. Ruby is like "shit this is THE worst adult to run into and I haven't even gotten to the running away part of my plan" and Julias ends up being the reason she doesn't even get to the train station. He's fucking hilarious by the way. He's got a well adjusted family with two loving parents and a bunch of little siblings and he basically picks Ruby up by the scruff of her neck and is like "I want this one she's insane."

This is Julias (kneeling on the ground to talk to Ruby) and Emelie (Julias' knight and childhood friend, she's so silly)

and this is the part where I share art from many months ago... when I posted my most recent art and said Ruby keeps getting buffer every time I draw her, I meant it 💀

Ruby and her love interest, Cecelia

This is Vekenti, a character that was also supposed to be a "villain" in the original timeline. Ruby goes looking for him to prevent his death as well, and Julias obviously is like "Omg another weird kid, how delightful!" Everyone thinks Vikenti and Ruby are related, but they are not. They're just raised as siblings in both timelines and have a lot of the same mannerisms

Julias' love interest (unnamed? I can't find her name anywhere) and him

REALLLY old drawings of what they looked like in the OG timeline (I desperately need to redesign these because I could do better now)

Julias and Ruby again

and that's all the art I have for this one (besides the other post of Ruby I posted today, this is the story that that version of Ruby belongs in. She's looks very different now!).

All of this has been in the back of my mind for a while, and I've been trying to figure out which story I would want to write first. Middle school Erin would love for me to finally write Behind the Blue Glass, but sometimes I find myself wanting to write a fantasy story like Clocktower's Chime a lot more

[webcomixwastaken]

Honestly, every time I see someone insist they need AI for writing, be it for getting an idea or drafting their piece or even basic grammar my instinct is to say:

"Just... GET GOOD."

Like, have no ideas? Then read more books in ALL sorts of genres, styles, and authors. Even read different age groups (if you only read YA but are over the age of 20, I promise you there is plenty of Adult out there you will love. Find it. You deserve it.) Do the same for movies, shows, and plays. Go to festivals and exhibitions and concerts. Dabble in different hobbies to observe and talk to people, all sorts of people. EXPERIENCE LIFE, that's how you'll be inspired to write about it. Know the world and how you feel in it beyond what the internet tells you to. (Also, you'll find out that your "brilliantly unique concept" has likely been done before and that your personal life experience will be the thing that makes it genuinely unique.)

Think your writing is bad? AI can't make it good for you. AI is a shitty writer. If you want to write I assume you like to read. (If you want to write but don't like to read then you have an incredibly tough, nigh impossible road to "being a good writer" ahead of you.) Again, read as widely as you can. Fanfic alone will not help you unless you only want to write fanfic which I do know applies to a lot of people. There's a fantastic thread floating around here that explains why writing for fanfic vs writing original work for publication are very different spheres. And as someone who reads a bunch of both, the best fanfic still has structure, character development, and actual plot, very similarly to books. (This is very much my subjective opinion, but I despise "no plot only vibes" -- to me both are integral to a good read. This 100% applies to tradpub too; the social media trope-focused marketing annoys me to no end. What is your story ABOUT?? If you can't tell me I have no interest in reading it.)

Instead of taking the shortcut that is actually sending you back to the start anyway, just... GET GOOD. And you get good by BEING BAD. Compose some trite purple prose nonsense rife with cliches. Have all your characters be shameless Mary Sues. Or, as I see the most often in early writers, be pedantic and repetitive as fuck because you don't know that you're doing it yet until after a year or so you look back and go "why the hell did I talk so much about this irrelevant thing? it totally disrupted the momentum of the scene and doesn't even develop character." And then, you'll realise that you've learned how to edit! Congratulations! You must understand that AI doesn't know this. AI is just plagiarising a couple hundred thousand people. AI has no brain. Don't trust it. Don't even play with it. It is a pathetic zombie concoction that only causes damage to others and the environment. Trust YOUR BRAIN. You are SO MUCH SMARTER. You KNOW what you want and like, you have way better ideas and images you want to convey. And in time you will know how to convey them accurately and compellingly in a way that sounds like you.

And finally, AI for grammar and spelling? Hoo boy do I have some opinions. Well, just one. Which is to simply GET GOOD!!

People bitch that English is a difficult language to learn but hey! All languages have their rules and nuances, so that's merely subjective! Whatever language you want to write in, learn those rules!! Seriously, just GET GOOD!! it's doable! I do it! In fact, many people do it and have DONE SO FOR YEARS.

Honestly, I don't use ANY kind of grammar software beyond the basic spellcheck automatically built into browsers and word processors nowadays (the ones that give you wiggly lines while you're typing and even then I rarely right click to accept since I find it faster to simply retype properly) because I KNOW MY SHIT. I know how to construct sentences, use consistent tense, punctuate properly, and capitalise or italicise or utilise any other convention of the English language I wish to follow or break because this is my craft, and I know how to shape it to become what I want my work to be.

So here is where I expect people to be all like "but what if I'm NOT a native speaker of the language huh huh??" Well, you're choosing to write in this language though. Do your level best -- and here is where I will say that this grammar stuff IS the most forgivable aspect anyway. Spelling errors or janky phrasing never hurt anyone when we can tell it's coming from a place of true diligence and effort, in fact one of my favourite fanfics of all time was set a summer camp and the NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKING author wrote "councilor" until about chapter 20 when they asked us, utterly mortified, in the notes why nobody had corrected them (because the plot and characterisation were immersive AF and felt like it came from a real person with real experiences). Some of the most poetic syntax and delightful descriptions I've come across were from people writing in not their first language, or even second or third -- children and adults alike, still learning and still TRYING because they took this shit seriously and were putting in their all.

This is the part that I personally cannot comprehend (but in a practical way I do, only because I see it EVERYWHERE) of people claiming that they just can't "get" grammar and need some brainless software running on codes and algorithms to "correct" them - don't you want to be FREE of this dependence?? Wouldn't you prefer to write KNOWING that it says what you WANT it to say instead of hoping that maybe 30% will remain after a program strips it of voice and style (and then because you're no longer paying attention, it also makes your sentences just WORSE and not "succinct" at all)?? Don't you want to be grown and confident with SKILLS instead of whining for help (which just boils to someone doing it FOR you, not actual help) all the time???????? Like seriously!! Have some self-esteem!!!!! You deserve it!!!! GET GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been teaching fiction writing as my day job for nearly a decade now and when my students fret over their sub-par skills I always ask them how old they are. Because they should know that 9 year olds aren't supposed to spell everything correctly. Instead, they're supposed to make mistakes so they can learn how to fix them. Then, they should practise and practise and practise until they're 19 and realise that the habit has developed so beautifully that they're finding it HARD to make mistakes!

And if you're 29 and still struggling, no it's not too late. The best time was to start 20 years ago but the second best is now. Writing is pretty much a lifetime gig so keep going, and GET GOOD!!

[emcandon]

I return from my bg3 stupor with a fresh 2 am question:

was the TAU story and world a concept you were baking for a long time until you had a chance to write it, or was it a more recent creation?

Do you find it easy or hard to build out new story concepts? Like, do you need to sit on them a while until they feel right, or does it just come pouring out of you from the start? Or a secret, third thing?

Just anything about your personal creation process!

lol hi it might not surprise you to learn that i am also steeping in bg3 (i am still stumbling around act 1! i'm not allowed to play until i hit daily sequel writing quota, which is healthy, i'm sure, but does mean i am somewhat behind just about everyone i know who is also playing :P)

(my first Tav is an enormous nb tiefling bard named Faretheewell who is, imo, perfect. very beautiful. very kind. definitely does drag. lying a lot, but mostly just for funsies. has turned astarion into their little purse dog.)

ANYWAY, TO THE ACTUAL QUESTION:

TAU's an interesting case because it was cannibalized from a couple different ongoing projects into something entirely new.

The characters had been floating around in different iterations since about 2013, and their final forms in Archive are quite distinct from the original seed! Imagine Sunai as an exiled diplomat who got involuntarily apprenticed to a cursed king/the last magician in the world; imagine Veyadi as a disowned god-child tasked with murdering the last magician! I'm still probably going to use that world somewhere so I'll mum about it now (it's the one I call "grandma heist.")

((imo that's why you should always yoink characters you like from whatever source you enjoy, be it your own or something else -- they will inevitably change in their new context, often so substantially that they are nigh unrecognizable.))

The story concept also originated in 2013: "Pacific Rim, but the mechs are built out of the kaiju, and pilots must have survived being poisoned by those kaiju." The addition of strange and upsetting AIs of divine power was somewhat inherited from the story Sunai and Adi came from, where divinity was fraught, fractured, and hungry.

Here's a funny. In 2017 I thought TAU would be a nice, simple, clean project. However. I know some folks who turn out gloriously clean first drafts. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. My brain is a hazardous work environment, very non-OSHA compliant. Basically I do a lot of thought work in the drafting, so the drafts are consequently messy, and there are a LOT of changes from concept to actual workable manuscript.

Which I suppose is to say that story concepts nest in my brain quite often when it is healthy. The frequency with which I land on new and interesting story thoughts is actually a pretty good indicator of how well I am doing ambiently! Right now I'm storing up a lot of them, some of which I am fairly rabid about -- nearly as rabid as I am about Archive, which is the real indicator of a project that is ready to transition from Thought to Work. They are described here as "apocalypse magicians" and other such things. There's one that's going to be kind of an argument with Lovecraftian unknowability via desconstruction of Enlightenment epistemologies + queer identity destruction, and another that's going to be the Le Carré approach to espionage + magic as divinity meets public service + interplanetary empires intruding on your bumfuck planet offering the solution to climate change might still be bad actually. (I want to write that last with my wife and we are making SUCH GOOD FUCKING SHIPS FOR IT.)

How to summarize this? 1) find a story notion/concept about which i can obsess, 2) actually start writing it, 3) mess up spectacularly for a few drafts, 4) finally whittle together something more or less correct, 5) that's my editor's problem now!!

[pe0ple3ater]

Celltw (again), implied sexual content, drug use

Hello! I've been pretty much obsessed with Celltw so have the beginning of a draft I'm slowly working on. It's so hard to write, I wrote all of this while in my uni classes. RIP. Short and sweet because I can't be bothered to edit any more of it.

They’re laid out on Pac’s bed, pressed up against each other. 

Pac groans softly and reconnects his lips with Cellbit’s, hands tightening in his hair and pulling slightly. Cellbit moans into his mouth and tightens his arm around Pac’s waist, tugging him tighter against his body. The other arm is under Pac’s head, hand on the back of his neck holding him still and exactly where Cellbit wants him.

They’ve been at it for almost twenty minutes, the edibles they’d taken kicked in thirty minutes ago coating the edges of Pac’s awareness in blurry softness. Cellbit’s hand squeezes at the back of his neck and Pac groans against his lips softly. 

It’s nice. Pac’s brain is fuzzy and warm and Cellbit is strong and holds Pac tight enough that it keeps Pac from floating away completely. His lips are soft and he kisses Pac like he owns every inch of his mouth. 

He does, when Pac really thinks about it, he really does own every inch of Pac. He always has. 

“You smell so good” Cellbit mumbles, free hand resting at Pac’s waist and squeezing. Pac gasps at the feeling, the weed making everything heightened. Cellbit’s teeth scrape Pac’s neck and Pac’s head falls back in pleasure at the feeling. It’s so nice, his heart is pounding “I could eat you Pac, you’re so cute” Cellbit’s teeth dig into his neck and Pac moans.

It’s so good, the pain sending warmth and pleasure straight down to his gut. He runs his hands eagerly through Cellbit’s hair. Cellbit takes his time biting and sucking marks onto Pac’s neck and collarbones. Pac floats, eyes heavily hooded and body alight with sensation. It feels like Cellbit’s hands are everywhere on him, his waist, his thigh, his arms. His nails drag down Pac’s arms and Pac shivers at the sensation.

[saltwaterbells]

Synopsis:

Chandra Dayal and Mariel Blackwater return for the ninth season of Dayal Legacy, revisiting old missions and hauntings, joined by Ille Raefa and newcomer Elaine Richards.

All across the galaxy, television screens beam their faces. Mariel Blackwater: bloody, breathing, living weapon and vessel to the searing light of stars. Chandra Dayal: the glittering heir, muse and musician, a face that could launch an thousand ships, and burn them all too. Barely a hair apart from being two sides of the same coin, and the two that have managed to survive this long.

With magic like theirs, the frothing gunfire fades to the public’s ears, their crimes made glossy through editing and military backing. But when old memories come calling, the blood on their hands not quite scrubbed off yet, a question emerges: how far have they gone to survive? What will the breaking point be?

Aesthetic: the cold void of space, freckles as constellations, fingers clenching in sheets, the sound of hundreds of boots marching in unison, sleek metal revolvers, silhouettes backlit by stars, blinding spotlights, the prickle in the back of your neck that you’re being watched, cigarettes on an empty stomach, copious amounts of black eyeliner and blood red lipstick, white-knuckled clenching of rosaries, the scent of oranges and clove, the scent of ozone and woodsmoke, foam-capped waves, the thick cloth of a uniform being rolled up to the elbow, dog tags burning around your neck, iron-tipped boots, a target with the bullseye blown out, the gleam of too sharp teeth

Themes: how do you define your humanity, what is the cost of a human life, how does the spotlight shape you, religion, humanity versus monstrosity, how can you understand gentleness when all you have known is war, healing, the cyclical nature of violence, (there are probably more but like, these are the vibes)

Jude Rambles: so this is the wip that has gripped me and is shaking me around like a dog with a chew toy. this project showed up in my head around december ish, even though the idea sort of had been floating around for a good while, and then i decided to expand it and now i am being eaten alive. it’s so easy to write?? i am attempting a new drafting technique, which is certainly helping and i need to try more often, but after working on bathtub gods for so long, this project is startlingly easy. and it’s so much fun too, i am having the time of my life! anyways, this is one of the more genre projects that has shown up in my brain and maybe i do need to write more science fiction and fantasy, or science fantasy like in this case.

Characters: Mariel Blackwater: 18 | It/Its | Space Irish Catholic, autistic, immensely religious, chronically guilty and hyper repressed, mildly an alcoholic, more weapon than human, avatar for the space catholic church. It’s a constellation witch, which means it can bring constellations to life and also, draw from their energy and create space storms and star lightening

Chandra Dayal: 19 | They/Them | Space Indian, bisexual & nonbinary the child of a legendary tragic love story between the heir to a media conglomerate and a general, who died when they were a baby, deeply burdened by their legacy (both the show and their actual legacy). Their magic is the harnessing of sound waves, to manipulate people’s emotion and also shatter things with sound waves.

Ille Raefa: 18 | Ve/Vim | Prophet, burdened by seeing all that will happen but in no particular order and without any particular logic, eldest sibling trauma, by far the most genre-aware and apathetic from the start, Ve is just waiting to die. Vis magic is visions, in vis dreams and sprinkled throughout vis day. Ve also is the most genre-aware character: ve knows the tropes, ve is just not entirely aware what type of book ve is in.

Elaine Richards: 18 | He/Him | Ultimate simp, from space kansas middle of nowhere who is so excited to be here and among his idols, desperately trying to fit in and make sure he doesn’t die or get kicked off of the show. Also eldest sibling trauma, except he’s not going to think about his siblings ever < 3. His magic is essentially magic metal bending

Taglist: (ask to be added/removed) @cordy-muses @cream-and-tea

[teriwrites]

Preptober Vol. 1

AKA in which Teri actually talks about writing

Forgive the rambling, it's been a minute since I've actually sat down to write something for tumblr.

It’s that time of year again, when leaves are changing and Spooky Season is in full swing and I realize I need to get myself into shape for NaNoWriMo next month.

This year feels a little different, and I think I've reached a crossroads with my relationship to NaNo. It's year 13 for me, which means officially over half the Novembers of my life will have been spent dedicated to writing stories. And while I absolutely love the tradition, I think I've started looking at it less as a year-by-year event and more how it fits into my life long-term.

Just about every year, I've gone about NaNo in a very traditional way: come up with a story idea, outline it and prep in October, and then write 50K+ words towards that idea in November. And I love doing that, I think I could continue writing that way for a long time.

But where I'm at with my writing, I have less free time and energy to dedicate to it outside of November, so at this point, I'm sitting on a pile of WIPs that I'd love to continue. But with NaNo typically comes an influx of new ideas, and it's all getting a little too crowded in my head to think I can actually hold onto all of them.

This is a very rambley way of saying that I think I need to start looking at NaNo a little differently. Writing new stories every November is fun, but it's a little less exciting now that I've done it 12 times over than when I was just starting out. It's something that's comfortable, I could continue it, but NaNo's role was always to push me to take steps in my writing that I never had the discipline to do myself. And while that used to mean actually plotting and putting words down for ideas that floated around in my head, now I think I'd be better served by using the structure of it to move myself forwards in stories I already have written towards.

All of this to say that I'm stuck between pushing myself to write the second draft of Beyond Alder Creek during November (which will mean a nasty fight against my inner editor but at least will finally be forcing me to work on it) or adding more to my first draft of The Lies in the Legend.

There's also a chance I'll cave and work on a new idea that's been bouncing around my brain for a month or two, but I'm hoping I can hold off on it this year.

I guess we'll see! But I really do need to make a decision soon, either option is going to take a decent amount of prep time lol

tl;dr Teri decides to be a NaNo Rebel and has a Lot of thoughts about it

[gl1tchypyr0]

Homestuck Dragon-Trolls

Since Ive been lacking motivation as of late Ill just go ahead and post the only 8 dragons Ive managed to finish rough draft concepts for. Will work on finishing Equius, Gamzee, Eridan, and Feferi when I have the time been doing them in order. Reminder these are mainly sketches I've been doing since I got sick, so what works in my brain might be horrible when Im feeling better.

First off: Aradia

Concept is that shes a type of Kirin-esque dragon, where they're typically domesticated for wool but when they escape into the wild they seem to undergo some kind of 'transformation' and can be seen mostly at night by the glow of their energy and have been seen 'flying' by which if they walk off a cliff they remain floating in the air casually continuing to walk along a given path. Roughly they're the size of big horn sheep.

Next: Tavros

Concept is somewhere between a fairy-dragon, a kirin, and an asian serpent like dragon where magic maintains flight despite small bug like wings. Also a domesticated breed of dragon, these are roughly the size of a cat and drink nectre from flowers but if threatened can still create powerful fires to act as an escape method.

Then theres: Sollux

Two headed/two tailed dragons are an aesthetic and also the mix of a fairy dragon but no kirin to this one, much more reptilian legs. The fairy traits manifesting in Wasp/Bee like wings. This species has a propensity for going blind so from a young age they use electric charges and snake like tongues to help sense the world around them. Roughly id say the size of a komodo dragon, maybe a bit bigger.

Heres: Karkat

I couldnt figure out how to draw his face in a way I liked, but this species of dragon is based on things like Lobsters, hermit crabs, etc. where the wings are connected to the forearms like a wyvern, and despite the hard carapace, they still prefer to live in large shells for self defense. Because of how small they are (Half the size of a cat), they make great food choices and likely humans have been keeping them as pets if not older dragons who like keeping them around for entertainment.

Next is: Nepeta

Inspiration coming from Manticores, Sphinxes and griffins, this beast is still capable of burning your meat off if you offend them while similarly ripping you apart with their claws. Roughly the size of a lion, they have yet to be domesticated, and are often seen traveling with herds of more kirin-like dragons, out of a need for hunting or companionship is unclear but one has been documented attacking other predators that aim to hunt the more prey like dragons nearby.

Next up is Kanaya:

how to tell I couldn't figure out what the body shape should be like at the moment. A mix of a vampire bat and moth like wings of a fairy dragon, this is a mostly nocturnal species that has been seen drinking the blood of other dragons in their sleep. Larger than a horse, this species has been known to hide from the sunlight most of the time.

You know who to expect: Terezi

Maybe got a little lazy and drew a classic European dragon about the size of a small house. This beast has been known to light villages on fire for fun or out of a sense of retribution if it has been offended. They similarly have a habit of going blind as they get older but no documentation has been found on how they manage to survive when the inevitable hits. Knights who befriend this dragon have been known to complain on sniffing noises and the amount of smoke coming from their nostrils.

Finally of the ones Ive finished, tumblr woman winner in our hearts: Vriska

Reptilian in nature with the tails of manticores, this species of dragon has been known to prowl shorelines feasting on the weak and vulnerable. Just as large as a house, they've been seen having an incredible healing factor despite having more fragile wings and scales than most, or maybe its just luck on their end. Though they have a fin like sail on their back and an incredible swimming ability they can not breathe underwater and use their tails to catch whatever drifts nearby.

Equius I plan on drawing like a kirin to go with the Nepeta dragon, Gamzee will be like a kirin mixed with a seal, Eridan and Feferi are what I plan on redrawing mixing elements of sharks, asian dragons, barracuda, and other aquatic predators and will be large given their status as sea serpents. Just need the motivation and to stop coughing my lungs out.

[fragileizywriting]

why are things always so much harder for her? why is everything so much easier for others? why does she struggle so much to stop making things so big?

as gently as she can, she slips her phone back onto her towel. neatly folded and rolled up on the stool near the bathtub as she continues to soak. at first it’d been a good idea; a bath, a long one, to roll out her stiffened calves and get into hopefully a mood relaxed enough to find the courage to ask luka for some heavy-petting during their cuddles. still now, she has to warm herself up to the idea. get into it. she feels sexless most times when the heat dies down and her eyes are able to focus, unless she helps herself get into the mindset.

maybe not this time.

instead, she sniffles. cries a bit, when she blinks and her eyelashes stick and glitter with dew.

“luka,” she calls out, gently, just loud enough that he’ll hear if he isn’t humming under his breath while fixing up the mess they’ve made of the covers. “can you come here?” a noise from outside the bathroom has her sniffling harder. “please come in here.”

the door cracks open enough to let a draft in. she tries not to shiver, but finds comfort in the feeling.

“what’s wrong?”

“i got off the phone with my mom, and i feel...”

that’s all he needs to hear. he’s not clothed, and won’t be for a few more days, because her heat is a bitch and refuses to let polyester get close. his touch, yes; their sheets, maybe; soapy water is allowed, too. but scratchy nylon is the first to go when arousal peaks and washes over like the tide and causes her to strip anything that isn’t skin.

he climbs into the tub with her.

there’s not much room. there���s no room at all, actually, because the tub is cramped for her— a tiny thing, a small thing, a handful and a problem of a thing— and when luka stands up, he goes up and up and up. it takes him a while to find a place for his kneecaps, and a place for his ankles, and feet, and thighs— giant, muscle-filled arms wrap around her while she sobs into her hands.

“i’m sorry,” he tells her.

“i did something wrong.”

“i don’t think you did. usually whenever she does this, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“she called me a problem,” she tells him with a sob. another inhale through the nose— a wet, disgusting thing— tells her he’s stewing in bordering irritation. it bleeds through the open air, bruising the scent of patchouli and ylang ylang aromatics into submission. “she— she said that im bothering you.”

“what were her words?”

“she asked me where i was. i told her your place, but that was okay, because you’re okay with spending my first heat with me.” her throat is too tight to swallow, but she gives it a try. “she told me to be careful, that i shouldn’t annoy you, because i know how… bad i can be.”

“kitty—”

“—that i would be better dealing with this alone,” she whispers. “that way, i wouldn’t bother.”

“you’re not bothering me.”

“my brain feels numb. and exhausted. and i feel like i’ve been floating the entire time, only for that call to make everything crash back down.”

“your heat isn’t going to let you think about this for much longer.” he kisses her scalp. “i guess we can count that as a positive… i’m here, okay? you’re not bothering me. i want to take care of you. i want to be there for you. you’re okay, love. let’s finish washing your face and get you comfy into bed.”

[causenessus]

OKAY! Now that I have been given the okay to use my degree in yappology-

CLEANING WHEN YOU’RE STRESSED IS SO REAL. Like tmi mayhaps but I have like a 2 yr depression room (at one time it was clean but stuff happened that is not tumblr sanctioned and it reverted back to a depression room 🧍🏻‍♀️) and I got stressed about the first day of school (senior yr I’m gonna throw up guys-) and I just started cleaning it! I did like four loads of laundry and picked up all the trash and folded all my new clothes I got. I made a dent in the room and I was very happy about it lol.

Whenever I have a bad day I too rant to someone, usually it’s my best friend bcs as an only child I don’t have a sibling I can kidnap and force to listen to me and vice versa. So like needing to feel productive when your day has been literally awful??? Real for that!

Like I’m pretty sure I have picture day the same day I’m supposed to get my hair done which makes me want to pull my hair out. Like ONE MORE DAY PLEASE. MY SENIOR PICTURE CANNOT BE ME WITH THIS ORANGEY PINK MESS. PLEASE I’LL CRY. Unfortunately I don’t think they’ll push it back if I ask 🙄 how unreasonable /j

I’M SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO MOTIVATE YOU TO MAKE THINGS!!! THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE AND TWIRL MY HAIR!!! Also not to worry, I love sending long asks so every once in a while if you enjoyed these more will be coming soon to Tumblrs near you <333

I am caring for myself, it’s called rummaging through your account along with (eggy, dodger, hiraethwa <333, honee, and Molly’s accounts). What more self care could I need??? NO BUT REALLY. I am taking care of myself, had myself a little self care shower the other day with face masks and hair masks. You know the works! Mostly because I had to take my nail polish off finally bcs school 😔 (I’m in a culinary tech school and you can’t have nail polish lol) also had a delicious meal bcs school started. We’re making yogurt and granola and then making crepes. The granola was so good- like omg. I added more brown sugar and honey 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Okay enough about me- now onto rambles about your fics bcs they’re delectable.

LOVE NOTES. OMG MY BELOVED….

I LOVE ALL THE LITTLE THINGS THAT LOVE NOTES SUNA DOES FOR HER. LIKE GOD I’VE SEEN WHAT YOU’VE DONE FOR OTHERS. LIKE BARKING. GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE.

FOR ME??? AWHFJSJJFJS I FEEL SO SPECIAL 🥰🥰🥰🥰

I’m gonna be so fr- I love love notes Suna but if I got put in that universe he’s not the one I would go after. Love you pookie but I need Osamu. As a baker I need him. Chef + Baker combo goes so hard like- we would cause so much havoc for Atsumu. Like “Here I made cupcakes you want one?” And he would agree bcs what could sweet little bakery anon have done to them??? PRANK. Osamu and I would be menaces and I feel like love notes Suna (and Sakusa) would wholeheartedly support this.

Wanting to write a story based off one scene in your head? Real. I do that all the time. There’s literally so many ideas floating around in my head (send help I have 15 drafts of ideas and it grows everyday😭😭😭😭🔫)

RAHHH MAKING ART FOR PEOPLE IS JUST SO ROMANTIC. I find it even more romantic when the other person doesn’t know because person A isn’t making the art to get credit or to get ahead in any way with person B they’re doing it because they get so inspired by person B that they have to get their love out somehow. And they want to inspire the people they love. WHEN IS IT MY TURN????

In a completely funny and ironic way when I think of love notes I think of “LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH! EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH!” Like my brain supplies me with that anytime photography is mentioned it’s all I can think of.

FOREHEAD KISS AND FRESH BAKED COOKIES MWAH 🍪🍪🍪🍪

I love you too Ness!!!!! <3333 MAKE SURE TO EAT FOOD AND DRINK WATER!!! AND THIS IS FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO MADE IT THIS FAR IN MY YAPPING!!! -> YOU’RE IMPORTANT AND I LOVE YOU!!! AM I A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET? YES BUT DOES THAT MATTER? NO! You’re worth all the effort and deserve someone who puts effort into you. If no one else tells you they love you today I love you! You’re doing your best, even if you think you’re not. If you only have 40% of your usual effort today to give that means that you still have 100% because you made it through the day. You guys are doing great and eat food, drink water (it’s good for you I promise!) and take a shower or bath to help you decompress. You deserve it. And good night/morning because you deserve one!!! <33333

Thank you for yapping with me <3333 certified yapper clocking out for the day-

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪 <3

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY BAKERY ANON PLEASE YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE OKAY TO USE YOUR DEGREE IN YAPPOLOGY <3 like u worked hard for that degree yk 😔😔 don't let anyone tell u that u can't use it!! BUT ANYWAY I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE I PROMISE IT IS ONLY BECAUSE LAST NIGHT -> TODAY LITERALLY SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE AND TOLD ME TO STAY DOWN </33 BUT I AM BACK AND ALIVE NOW!!

and not tmi at all!! omg i totally get the depression room 😭😭 like my desk is always just a mess of things i cannot be bothered to deal with and then i throw anything else in my closet so i don't have to deal with it and just recently cleaned it out and it was the best feeling in the world!! and ik how hard it can be to like start trying to clean up cluttered rooms when there's so much to do so i'm so proud of you for cleaning it!! stress cleaning is super fun <3 (it being clean and then things happening is so real + GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SENIOR YEAR!! ENJOY YOURSELF <3 DON'T STRESS TOO MUCH ABOUT COLLEGE OR ANYTHING!!! HAVE FUN!! <33 and idk why i'm so stupid but i read "i made a dent in the room" and thought you meant a LITERAL DENT like i fully imagined you [a person with a cookie for a head <3 /pos it's so cute] just sucker punching your wall and leaving a dent LMAOOO)

and aa i'm glad you have a best friend to rant to!! friends are amazing honestly i definitely value friends over family tbh so i think that's just as good as a sibling yk <33

AND PLEASE???? idk i remember for my senior year they literally just used our junior pictures 💀💀 bc i guess their priority was the senior photos yk!! AND AAA ORANGEY PINK HAIR SOUNDS SO PRETTY THOUGH!!!! I HOPE YOUR PICTURE TURNS OUT WELL :(( AND ALSO THAT YOUR HAIR APPOINTMENT GOES WELL!! (😭😭 maybe they have like a retake picture day if u need it??)

I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE LONG ASKS ESPECIALLY FROM YOU BAKERY ANON!! YOU ARE SO SWEET AND I LOVE TO READ AND REPLY TO THESE <33

AND RAHHHH!! i'm so so glad you loved love notes!!! suna is so sweet literally i think about him everyday <3 and then i see irl men and get severely disappointed and depressed </3 but it's okay bc that's what fanfics are for!! (@/yogurtkags tagged me in the most DELECTABLE suna drabble EVER OMG IT LITERALLY GAVE ME BUTTERFLIES but i reblogged it on my sideblog bc i went a little too feral...and not main blog appropriate....so if u want to read it u can either find it on there or i'll definitely find a way to send u the link!! like we can do it like a little smuggle deal where u send me an ask asking for the goods and i send u the link and then u send me another ask telling me u got it and then i delete the post... 😈😈😈 [i have no idea why i'm gatekeeping this fic or why i would do something this convoluted i am just mildly ashamed of my own behavior and reaction that fic ahem...]) AND PLEASE GOING FOR OSAMU IS SO VALID!!! AND THE CHEF X BAKER COMBO IS ACTUALLY SO SO CUTE!!!! <3333 i would die for your guys' prank wars 😭😭 ik that all goes crazy and suna and sakusa would definitely support you!! love notes yn would too <3

THE 15 IDEAS FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD IS SO REAL 😭😭😭 THAT'S ME AND ALL THE LITTLE TINY NOTES I HAVE IN MY NOTES APP THAT ARE JUST SPORADIC NOTES AND COMMENTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE

AND RIGHT IT'S SO ROMANTIC :((( like i don't think i ever find a way to convey this very clearly bc i was so scared to do a lot of pictures yk 😭😭 but that's basically how it was!! like they were both artists and they were both each other's muse <3 like y/n would be taking pictures of people (especially like engagement/couple photos) and be thinking about suna and suna was making art thinking of her <33 aa they're so cute!!!

FOREHEAD KISSES AND FRESH BAKED COOKIES :((( THANK YOU BAKERY ANON I LOVE YOU!! <33

YOU'RE SO SO SWEET BAKERY ANON PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR ENTIRE NOTE ALSO APPLIES TO YOU!!! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF <333 GET ENOUGH REST!! EAT PLENTY!! DRINK WATER!!! LOVE YOURSELF!! AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY <333

[maideninorange]

1, 2, 9, 25, 48!

Do you listen to music when you write?

Yes, yes I do indeed! It depends on my mood, typically of course, but more often than not the answer is yes. With series fics, I usually set up a playlist that fits the vibe I got going, but with oneshot fics (the ones I usually write), it's whatever floats my boat in that current moment. Though I do prefer to try and keep it to the vibe I got going for obvious reasons.

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

I'm not sure how surprising this might be for some of my followers, but I am actually a total pantser! Even when I do outline (which I usually have to for series fics for the very simple reason that writing longfics without planning is a recipe for disaster), deviating from them if I think of something better can and will occur.

That, and they're just a pain for me to do when I got everything I need at the tip of my fingers (in theory). As a consequence, longfics from me tend to be rare. My "To Be (One With the Garden)" series of Pikmin fics is a strange exception to this due to its unique nature, but while I'm not sure if I'm going to go through with the ideas I had for it, I do know they will require me to outline at least a little if I want to keep my continuity and stuff tight. But that's a problem for future Maiden.

9. Current WIP

Oh boy...At the moment I currently got two fics I'm alternating between writing for, and the one my brain is apparently focused on right now is a Len'en smutfic for some reason. The other is my fourth little oneshot for "To Be (One With the Garden)", which has been proving itself to be a little more difficult to write than I originally anticipated due to the direction I decided to go with it. What do I mean by that? Who knows!

The problem with this question for me, you see, is that I can start and stop things on a whim. So my "Current WIP" is ever changing, and there's no guarantee my answer to this question today will be consistent tomorrow. Such is the life of a writer with a terrible attention span such as I.

25. Favorite part of writing

Prose. Easily prose. I love coming up with fun ways of describing things and just trying to subtly weave details into things, ya know what I mean? I just adore well-written prose, both as a reader and a writer.

48. What's the most self-insert character/scene you've ever written?

Ooh, that's a tricky question. Especially since while my own feelings do tend to bleed into my writing, I do usually try to keep it to a backseat. But sometimes, they escape onto the pages more than I intend for them to.

Usually, works involving my OC Danielle tend to be like this, as she started life as a self-insert and evolved into her own thing, and I like to use her to explore my negative emotions and personality traits more directly (well, as directly as I can within my given set-up), but in terms of self-inserty scenes...The main one I am thinking of is this one draft I'll never finished centered around Kuroji becoming a youkai (not to be confused with the one or two fics in my collections where that also happens), where some of the negative internal monologue before The Reveal is...eerily reminiscent of my own somedays. I hope to write a proper fic about that topic someday, but that draft just wasn't it.

And to say nothing of the self-insert fic I wrote when I was just starting out as a writer. And to that I say, we will never speak of again.

[fchsadfa]

Woke up this morning, checked my notes from brainstorming last night, and had no idea what kind of connections my brain was making. Like there's good ideas! But how does embroidered Braille and Morse Code connect with the Doomsday Clock, a music staff with the repeat notation, and cultural Christian notions of World Without End?

(Put the rest under a read more because it got quite long)

I'm probably going to have to drop the morse code and Braille, which is sad bc I was excited by that idea from the first day of the week (tho the teacher did say to toss whatever our first ideas were and to be open to new directions).

However I am panicking slightly because this project is due Friday and I only have concepts (that aren't even written in my sketchbook to show my work).

I was late to class this morning in part because I should have gotten out the door earlier, but also because there was an accident that closed the main road into town and I had to detour around the lake. And then that accident ended up knocking out the power and they kicked us out of the building at noon (can't have people there without running water, for sanitary reasons).

Anyways my current plan is to make a box/ fake book. One of my library books has info on traditional embroidered boxes! I plan to have the front cover say Once Upon a Time, as gilt and embellished as I can manage with embroidery and sequins etc. The back cover I have a design that combines the phrase "as it was in the beginning/ is now/ and ever shall be/ WORLD WITHOUT END AMEN" which was my favourite part of having to recite the rosary as a wee Catholic child (in part because it signaled the end of having to recite the rosary, but also it's just nice :) trad Catholics who do the whole O My Jesus/ Hail Holy Queen bit don't come at me) ANYWAYS that phrase made into the hands of the Doomsday Clock (which is at 90 seconds to midnight as of the start of 2023 (: this is fine.png).

The embroidery bit covers one portion of the techniques we need to incorporate. For a second technique, I'm thinking the lining fabric to be made with a repeat pattern/ making marks on fabric (one or both, other techniques of this week) using alphabets (Latin but also Greek, Cyrillic, Inuit, Arabic, Korean, etc etc).

I had a one on one chat with the teacher and she was pro me incorporating Braille and Morse. It was a conversation about how I don't want people to Know Things about me now, let alone in 50- 200 years. About codes and secret languages and ciphers, about how we can't really know the past (or ascribe modern language of gender and sexual orientation to the past where people had different understanding of those concepts). But also about how on one hand I can't know that humanity will be around in 50-200 years, and on the other hand there's a long tradition of Apocalyptic propheteering. People are forever proclaiming the End of Times and time is forever carrying on regardless. (There's actually a fairly funny local story about a man who was sure the second coming was nigh and said he would walk on water like Jesus to prove it. And then the day came, everyone gathered to witness (entertaining being thin on the ground in settler days), dude had a crisis of faith and strapped wooden planks to his feet to help him float, sank, and sulked under the pier until everyone stopped laughing and left).

So yeah. This is a very rough draft of my eventual Artist Statement for this piece. Something something Tower of Babel. Something something cultural norms (shaped by Christian narratives) of a beginning, middle, and End preventing us from appreciating the cyclical nature of time.

It's also funny to me (not funny haha, funny strange) that we've been told to consider storytelling when thinking about this week's project, and how for much of history those with the privilege to access paper and ink (and education) were creating the official stories (while textiles preserved the common heritage). And now it's almost reversed, where most people have access to language and words, but the basics of textile creation is now a privileged activity (I mean, leaving aside folk embroidery a lot of needlecraft WAS something only the wealthy elite could afford). Being a fibre artist is expensive, y'all. (And ugh I love art but having to write artists statements is a struggle. What do you mean I have to theorize about Meaning and put it in inaccessible Art Speak and know the code and network to become famous and make a living at this and be in exhibitions and galleries)

Anyways it's time to stop talking about it and start ripping apart my elementary school Bible to do some papier maché.

Maybe the embroidered music staff with repeat and Braille and Morse Code can be a ribbon. A ribbon that can wrap around the box/ hold it shut by wrapping around a button? A ribbon that lifts a secret compartment, because I love secrets? We shall see!

[xhangkyuns]

hehehe hi! it's your turn!! 😝 7, 11, 18, 24, 39, 43, 77

uh oh besties it’s the consequences of my own actions!

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

When Vegas gently releases his wrists, Pete has a brief moment of thinking that he fucked it all up, but then there is a hand on his cheek, soft and strong and comforting all at once. It remains gentle, running along his jaw, his pulse point, before settling securely around his throat.

His other hand slides under Pete’s shirt, finding the warm skin of his waist. He doesn’t push or pull, just rests there, steady and gentle but not quite enough. Closer, Pete thinks, pull me closer.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

feeling very called out rn! you know how i write fics and the answer is very very messily! i have adhd so i always jump around — i’ll be writing one thing, then think of something completely unrelated and have to get it down before i forget. in some (read: all) rough drafts, i’ll have a million bits and pieces of unfinished sentences floating around. even while writing this it’s very out of order. the issue with this, though, is that i’ll write a future scene, then be unsure how to connect them — or i’ll end up going in a different direction altogether :’)

i’ve been making an effort to stop worrying about what i’m writing and just let the thoughts flow, which definitely makes a difference in terms of how much i jump around scenes.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

oop was it bad that my first thought was about my long ass unfinished doctor who fic from years ago? i love that fandom but there’s just so much lore.

i do enjoy researching to an extent; it really depends on how interested i am in the topic. i guess that’s also the adhd huh. i think sometimes research feels too much like a uni assignment for me, but at the same time i can be a perfectionist about accuracy so 🤷‍♀️

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

i guess it really depends on whose mind i want to explore. but sometimes i don’t think i even consciously choose whose pov i’ll write, instead the character climbs into my brain and takes the reins. i’m kinda a sucker for a single pov unreliable narrator, but that’s a flaw i’m working on jhfgshj

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

hmm. maybe not the most self indulgent, but my most personal wip rn is (what will hopefully be) a series delving into vegas’ mindset post-canon — heavy on the healing from trauma. it’ll be about as painful and therapeutic as you’re thinking.

i also have some unhinged vegaspete smut in the works, and am planning a longer chay-centric post-canon macauchay fic, with a lot of found family and learning to stand up for himself. so those are pretty damn self indulgent too.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

uhhh everything? jhgshds well i have a long list of fic ideas that i’d like to tackle eventually. a few ~classic tropes~ on there include a soulmate au, sugar daddy au, and some cheeky magical realism. would also love to write a time loop fic and and good old whump too.

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

i get to put my favourite characters??? in any situation ever? ??? no but.. i guess at the moment i love exploring all the different possibilities we never got to see in canon. i love getting into characters’ heads and learning about them and myself in the process. and sometimes i just love writing my favourite characters fuck nasty.

hehe thank you for the ask im love you 💓

[gibbingtonwibbington]

This post turned into quite a web of stories.

I love when my brain does this.

Jk no I don’t.

But this time I do.

Remember when I said I had like 40 posts in my drafts? Most of those are like this. So I opted out. However this one. Yes, absofuckinlutely yes.

3:27 minutes in…

That’s an every-night sky.

You can see that kind of stuff every single night in the sky. Probably anywhere, lol.

That’s movement of beans and nothing.

I’ve seen far crazier shit right in front of me on Earth’s lovely little floor. Having videos and witnesses n even for the second thing i wasn’t even the person to notice it first.

I’m the one with the owlneck, haweyeing all the time… it ONLY felt unusual because I didn’t notice it first, lol. Really, for both of the weirdest things I’ve seen, I was actually relaxed and not really paying attention at all. Figures.

But i’m the one that actually recorded that weird basketball of light flying around my neighbors yard. I keep telling myself (maybe just others) that it was ball lightning. Odd enough some weird thing brought me to that recording of mine on Facebook. Maybe it was a comment? I just remember being at it n thinking how tf did I get to this? Probably the “remember when “section flu butt-dial dominos situation. But it was The FIRST one that I kept going on my albums and uploads to find and sometimes isn’t there and sometimes is. Older videos do that though. Stupid fb. I guess since fb updated jts actually a better looking version of the video now though. Guess I uploaded a couple of them? Lol… But honestly, if you think of how an orb would move vs a ball of flaming light…. It doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t… on fire…. Ya know what I mean? It was a glowing circle, a strobing orb, not anything a-fire, flying around. If it’s ball lightning then it’s definitely more an orb of energy not a ball of flame like those stupid fuckn fake videos on YouTube. There’s only about 50 or so short takes of supposed ball lightning on YouTube and most of them are so obviously just transformers going out. OkayI think there was only one that looked anything like what I saw. It was just an orb burning in the middle of a field and even that could’ve been faked, because it wasn’t moving. This thing was an orb the size of a basketball not afire, strobing with intensity of light and moving around in the yard going near specific objects in the yard oneby one, not random jutting around. It was by thelower windoe of their house by the time I decided to whistle a song at it. I wanted to see if did anything different , or if anything different happened w it… maybe to watch if it knew I had my eyes on it already. What it did. It WAS thundering and raining too. So it very well could have been an orb of ball lightning. Maybe it does move like that and look like that. It was pretty weird though. I purposely ran halfway into my neighbors yard but decided to stop halfway just incase it was ball lightning, ya can’t go near that shit or say bye bye to your life and hello to a shotload of volts. Bzzzz!!! 🧟‍♀️ So I stopped and it looked as if it still didn’t notice me. So that’s why I decided to whistle a song. I just made up a song.

As soon as I started whistling, it stopped looking for whatever it was looking for (at least that’s what it looked like it was doing to me) Chris was still standing in my yard. I had ran out of my yard, onto the street in back of my house and halfway down the driveway of the house it was at. This place also has a little river and pond that empties out right in front of their house. That’s where the rock throwing contests were that I won against 25 yr old men when I was 16, where I smoked weed for the first time and ice skated while playing beer pong on a floating house thing they made with heat in it. Lol. If only they polyurethaned the f outta that, would’ve lasted WAY longer. They wanted it to last longer too! Polyurethane can do some amazing things. Trust me. Matt loved Polyurethane! Lmao

That thing barely lasted the year. I really can’t believe they (esp Matt) didn’t waterproof it after all that work! They easily could have before they put it in the water. It wasn’t that heavy. You wouldn’t even know that pond is there because the area is so small and hidden, but there’s a decent sized pond behind there, probably the same amount of space as the house and their yard combined. It’s a weird layout actually. They have a little stone cliff at the back of their house too. It’s like a 75 degree slope and a small area of a 90 degree rock face then little gardeamd trails around it all the way to the highway, or route 12 or whatever. Then theres a big lump of land on the other side of rt 12… with more cliffs and an old abandoned road in the middle of the teo roads that run parallel to the road on the hill called redstone hill road. Google it. Olde parish lane was where i made the very first skating video for you. 5 okde parisjh lane. The house on kilby road right in back of my old house. That’s the weird yard im talking about. They are old now, the yard probably is overgrown but you may still be able to see the pond and I know youll be able to see the old abandoned roanf the old grabeyard with the tombs. In the beginning of redstone hill road there’s gates to another graveyard that’s so old you can barely read the stones. There’s really old and elaborately carved tombs in the front next to the gates like the other old graveyard entrance, specifically from the main road. They’re graveyards from the late 16,’s-1700’s to now. When Sterling was first “bought” aka stolen from the Native American tribe that lived happily here until they came with their sniveling European diseases. Lol. It’s just fuckn weird over there man. You honestly wouldn’t even know all that is back there. But it’s weird, there’s this huge mound of sand in a weird perfect circle at the bottom of the road and then in back of that there’s a whole separate mound (which someone bought and used as like “I’m selling my sand” business lol… i think on the other side was also part of some sand dunes we have a lot around here actually .

I don’t think their yard would make a legal yard these days, but they’re kinda forgotten behind there. Especially now .,,,this story is still unreal and now extremely FUNNY. Chris saw it first and so said “What’s that light over there? “

(HAHA seriously I think this specific happening, which is by far the weirdest thing I have ever seen, has made him paranoid for life because he always had me go investigate his neighbors ground lights n id walk right up to whatever it was his paranoid ass was looking at in his neighbors yard and it’s always been nothing except for their ground lights and u can even see from his driveway it’s fucking nothing)

Good ol Christopher. I thought he was just being blind n paranoid but nope.

Lol the two dudes I was chillin w when these two weird things happened. Gta love em. Not love love but likelove.They are good guys at heart.At least one of em lol. Let’s hope. I think. One is/was CWISSTOPPAH,the mr. mcranky-mccracky……mcwellidonycareitsnotcoke/mvviolentpants/whytsthatlightoverthere/mcmuthafukkinunappreciative ass who clearly has lost his mind . Haha

Aww. He can’t help it. Lol. FR though, it’s physically impossible for him to have steered clear of the madness of chronic fevers from that. You should’ve seen it. Actually…you can see it. I have photos. I even have a photo of him grabbing this basic tourniquet that he made w an elasticized bandage, that was wrapped around his neck to his ankle, with his teeth, to tighten it. So he could basically cut off the sharp pain from his foot slowwlllyyyyyyyyyyyy (it’s maddening to watch) drain (for months) this abcess in his leg/foot. It’s mfuckinpossible man. Kimpossible. They had a stupid live action of that didn’t they? Ugh. Barf. I did stop hanging out w him like I was before. Can you believe we haven’t hung out.. not once since I told you.. ?😬🫤Damn, it’s been months. I guess it’s up to me to invite myself over at this point right? Since lol….since I’m the one who said deuces. Whoops. I guess I shouldn’t be waiting for him then huh? Ugh. I’m nauseous again. I don’t want to. I’ll wait s bit more. Let it really sink in. Like, I understand you’re foot and soul have been leaking for months and you’re in serious amounts of pain with literal dementia happening, but can you not throw things at me when you’re confused? That’d be great.

In the beginning of the “bye bye time”, he was pissed off about my reasoning. But after awhile of me not being there at all to help him or his mom w shit and not hearing my voice at all, he’s already kinda calmed down and changing bito sho he was before. He had been still eating like dhit but still losing weight n I knew something wasn’t right. Plus nothing had changed about his intake of drugs, meds, amount of sleep , life, nothing except for that. I told his mom too. She’s kinda dumb tho. I said to her that he needs to be seen… because he’s probably having fevers and not even knowing it. Even I had ….(even more..lol) speaking problems when I had the start of that lovely pneumonia and that was still just the beginning loooong stage of his leg/foot cellulitis bs. She’s supposedly a nurse too it’s like cmon lady wtf. You don’t want to wake up w him, your SON, dead, splayed out n leaking on the basement floor now do ya? Like wtf lady.. they will see the state of his brain. Fried. Poor guy.

He needed (prob still needs) to at least take some fucking Tylenol or something to lessen his damn chronic fevers. He NEVER would though. He’d flip tf out when someone brought him Tylenol instead of Advil lol.

He just wanted advil for the leg n foot pain. I mean, hd did have a huge gaping hole in his foot which I do have a photo of somewhere on my phone. It’s crazy. NOT gorrd. He probably should have listened to me about soaking it. I only suggested that because I personally wouldn’t have just sat there , RARELY cleaning it or myself (really not good especially with what he has) and just let it heal only w air. ?? No.nooooooo. I would have tortured myself and soaked it in salt water for a few months. Especially after it stopped gushing blood and puss. There’s a video on my phone with blood all over every surface downstairs. Bloody puss actually. It would have healed better in the end if he listened to me. I even got out the foot bath for him and checked it out to make sure it worked..did I upload that? I feel like I did and then took it down because of how dirty n gross it lookedI do understand him. It’s annoying but…you can’t possibly have an infection over that amount of area in your body of that severity, for THAT many MONTHS and not have it affect your mind too. Especially when old people get infections, a lot of ‘em get dementia. That must be fun, not for the family though. Ugh.

New story: My half-brother’s mom’s mom (lol) was talking EXTRA craycray about my half-brother when she got an infection & was still bad enough to be at the hospital. She was saying how she dropped him off on the highway and needed to go get him. Lol, yup. Fuckin weird..that was definitely a funny statement though. It could’ve happened for all the nurses know. Probably had cops driving up and down the highway just to be sure she wasn’t just talking crazy. Yes, that’s my autistic brother. Poor guy. My “birth father” is an ass. My aunts write to them and stuff. I treat my half brother’s mom like she’s a younger aunt or a step-sister to me. I can tell she wants that from me, I’m fine with it. It’s surely better than a third Mom. I had ONE of three real step sisters that I actually liked, Kerry! Want to get tripped out even further?She can’t smell or taste anything. She got REALLY sick when she was little or something.You may think not being able to taste or smell isn’t that bad at first. However, it’s a CURSE.

Imagine not being able to smell your significant other’s scent, when you hug ANY MEMBER of your family, ANY FRIEND, the hands of anyone, their cologne, their body spray, your favorite soap, bubble bath or body wash.

You can’t smell or taste any food whatsoever, never again to taste the seeet juice from a ripe fruit, nothing.

You’ll never smell the cotton candy smell or fried food smell when nearing a beloved fair. You can’t smell the seasons changing. You can never again smell a FLOWER. ANY FLOWER. I think I am going to cry. You’ll never again smell a pine tree or your favorite candle. NOTHING.

You’ll never smell a puppy, a kitten, a puppy’s breath, smell a baby’s skin, nothing.

The only possible upside of this absolute fuckn curse….let me lift the sad vibe a bit…you’ll never smell the BO of any old decrepit peoples or of anyone, ever again

🤷🏻‍♀️ aaaaaand ….

… unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your attentiveness, that’s including yourself. So people who have had this problem before puberty, tend to not truly understand the necessity of uhmmm anti-perspirants. Including dear Kerry. So thankfully, with most people, she’s usually thrown a bone for this issue. I would have hated to tear out anyone’s eyeballs at the annual Christmas Piper parties

[ink-splotch]

Hi there! I just finished playing 'More a Haunting than a History', and I wanted to say thank you for making it. It's really good, and was a fun way to while away an evening talking to the characters and learning my own backstory. I really liked Daisy especially, and all the fun little things you could do, like tossing coins in the bank fountain until you ran out, getting coffee from the cafe, or tossing a stick in the river every time. I can't imagine how long it must have taken to make.

It took me like two years!! I started it almost immediately after finishing Stay? and have been poking at it ever since. It's got a lot more unique content than my first game (a lot more dialogue, oh my god), as well as a lot more complicated structure and programming.

The dialogue system in particular is so much more complex than Stay?, which had a couple static conversations you could play through-- they each had a few pathways to make them replayable-- but MAHTAH is way more dynamic.

For each major NPC (Chris, Daisy, Bec, Gwyn, Tam), you have a pool of potential questions or statements to choose from, based on what you know about them and/or the world and/or yourself, as well as where you are or who else is present. These update with every new bit of info you get, and the responses will vary based on how that character feels, who else is present, what has happened/not happened, or even your location.

It all grew super organically out of the dialogue authoring (which I do not recommend as a way to go about building a project!), so the bug testing was intense, but also hopefully the end product holds some of that organic, natural scripting feel. I "felt" my way through those conversations, and then backed up those intuitive authorings with the system structure.

I'm not doing that next time. Hopefully. That's the plan, anyway.

MAHTAH took a long time to build & author, and then to bug test (and keep building/authoring in parallel). I cannot overstate how much this game wouldn't exist without my wife @doctorcakeray's endless tireless bug tests-- Jules played this game I think more hours overall than I spent actually writing it, and I spent a lot of hours writing it.

I mean, it's also been a pandemic, so I haven't been working at my usual pace. I am hoping to get back into the swing, so we shall see. I've even maybe got another fanfic brewing in my pockets, for those of you who came here for fanfic reasons over the years.

I really have been enjoying IF, though, and have the sketches of a third game floating around in the brain (we're going science fiction!). I am taking a break to go see if I can bang out a novel draft or two before I jump back into ink (though I miss it already). But I've got two or three half-started novels (one a scifi Robin Hood retelling on Ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/24552577) and I miss novels, too. So.

(Psst go play MAHTAH here: https://ejadelomax.itch.io/mahtah)