#this has been sitting on my computer since NOVEMBER

[the-kaedageist]

It is years before her hard work pays off. The time is worth it.

She’s done her homework well. She figures out the best time to approach, when her son will feel least threatened. Not when he’s alone. Preferably when he’s in a public place, providing as much safety to him as to her. After five years, the last thing she wants to do is spook him badly enough that she has to track him down again.

She has lived over a millennium. That doesn’t stop her from pausing outside the crowded tavern in Ank’harel, shrouded in the image of a high elf, her heart echoing in her ears. A millennium of life has been nothing without taking risks – but it has been centuries since she’s risked her heart.

She takes a final breath and ducks inside.

The tavern is loud. A band in the corner plays a Taldorian jig, which she recognizes from her three months spent negotiating a trade agreement in Whitestone. Raucous chanting rings from the opposite corner, where a halfling woman and a purple-skinned tiefling are chugging from enormous mugs. She’s so appalled by the drinking competition that it takes her several seconds to turn her attention back in that direction, realizing that they’re exactly the group she’s looking for.

“HA!” shouts the halfling, audible even over the band as she slams down the ceramic drinking mug; it’s a miracle it doesn’t shatter on impact. “Suck it, Kingsley!”

The tiefling lowers his mug half a second later, groaning. “You’re cheating.”

She takes a moment to survey the rest of the group. There are nine of them in total, gathered around a long rectangular table running along the length of the side wall.

Next to the tiefling, a dark-skinned human woman in blue waves a similar mug, shouting, “it’s my turn next! Bring it on!” A larger woman with striking hair is staring at this next challenger with clear fondness as she sips from a clear glass. On the other side of the table, a tall pink firbolg and half-orc are deep in conversation, ignoring their companions. A blue-skinned tiefling woman braids the firbolg’s hair and cheers at the drinkers.

On the halfling’s other side, a redheaded human man is tapping his fingertips to the music. He leans against the man she seeks.

She takes a moment to study her son. He’s completely undisguised, his hair a tad longer but just as carefully styled as she remembers, his ears dangling with silver jewelry. From her surveillance, she knows he ordinarily operates in disguise; he clearly has decided to forgo caution here, on another continent surrounded by his friends.

She expects him to look uncomfortable or displeased at the antics of the group – but he is laughing, leaning his forehead into the redheaded human’s shoulder, a flash of fang revealed in his open joy.

In over one hundred and twenty years, she’s never seen him smile like that. It is startling, unbalancing; had she ever truly known him?

Read the rest on AO3 (4,793 words)

[joshsindigostreak]

Blue Christmas 💙🎄

Authors notes: Hi y’all!! This spawned from a dream I had the other morning and I couldn’t get it out of my head. My first official Rom-Com, and friends to lovers! Shout out to @gretasmokerising and @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine to hearing me out with this idea and yelling at me to write it! Enjoy!

Word Count: 6813

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, and SMUT at the end! MINORS DNI, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap y’all’s willies), alcohol use, agonizing mutual pining? I think that’s it.

It had been 4 weeks, 2 days, and 7 hours since Josh Kiszka had last spoken to you. The most he had ignored you since the day you met over 2 years ago. His cubicle was stationed next to yours, and you could always look to your right to see him typing away at his computer, eyes trained at the screen and never once glancing over at you. He would arrive in the mornings silently, and clock out at 5 without a word. But it was the lunch hours that hurt the most. Ever since you had started this job, he was always your lunch buddy. He showed you where all the good vending machines were, and how to get down to the courtyard on the bottom floor where most of the office population ate their lunches. You hadn’t seen him down in that courtyard since…the incident…and you sat at your usual table most days hoping you’d see him come through the double doors, lunch in hand and a smile on his face. But in the weeks since, he had either eaten elsewhere or stayed in his cubicle working. A few times you tried to stay behind as well, hoping the silence from being the ones in your general vicinity on your floor would coax him into conversation, but it didn’t work. 

But what was this “incident”? What was the catalyst to make him so cold to you all of a sudden? As you twirled your mouse over your screen pretending to be busy, your thoughts drifted back to the day everything changed. 

Josh had a usual lunch table. It was in the courtyard, but in the back corner where he could have the best privacy. This back section used to be the smoking section before smoking was banned per company policy, but they left all of the plants and hedges in place that separated it from the rest of the courtyard. His lunch hour was sacred. It was the part of his day that he could be by himself and not have to talk to anyone if he didn’t want to. Not a lot of people sat back there, which was another blessing. But he didn’t mind sharing it with you. He jumped at the chance to show it to you on your first day. You made a comment about how it was very “Rainforest Cafe” that endeared you to him even more. Ever since, it has been the two of you back there, hidden amongst the hedges. 

That day wasn’t much different from any other, a run-of-the-mill Tuesday in the middle of November. For that time of the year, it was unusually warm, so you felt that it was imperative to take advantage of it and sit outside when you still could. You made your way down to your table, walking past various coworkers chattering away. You could smell the Caesar salad through the container in your hand and you couldn’t wait to dive into it. Finally you made it to your table in the back corner, with your lunch buddy sitting with his back to you as he typed away at his laptop. He was a true workaholic, but his efforts never went unnoticed. Your immediate boss, Ted, always gave shout outs to Josh in meetings, and you would be lying if you said the way Josh’s face would tinge pink every time didn’t melt your heart. He was absolutely terrible at taking compliments. He was deserving of all the praise, hell he deserved a promotion at this point with how much he led the team, but he would get so bashful whenever someone would tell him so.  Sometimes…you would compliment him on purpose just to see the color rise in his cheeks, and if you were lucky, a glimpse of the dimple on his left side.

You slid onto the bench that was bolted to the table, a fixture that hadn’t been updated since the nineties, you were sure. Normally you sat across from him, but today you just had the itch to be in his personal space. 

“Whatcha working on?” You asked as you popped open the container for your salad.

“I am working on…a PowerPoint…,” he quipped, giving you a playful sideways glance. 

You nodded, letting him type and fill up the current slide as you dumped your salad dressing into the container and mixed it with the greens and grilled chicken. After a few minutes of silence, you leaned over to him, brushing your shoulder against his, “you need a cool transition. No PowerPoint is complete without a cool transition.” 

At this he stopped typing and turned his face towards yours, seemingly unbothered with how close you were to him, “I can just see the look on Ted’s face when he hears the ‘whoosh’ between slides about projected first quarter profit margins.”

 

“That man needs a good laugh. Or to get laid. Maybe both,” you nudged his shoulder before going back to your lunch. 

“Don’t we all…,” Josh mumbled to himself. You almost asked him what he meant but he was quickly back at it, filling out bullet points and inserting graphs on the side. It wasn’t unusual to see him this engrossed in his work, but frankly, you were bored. This was the one hour you could truly hang out with him and not have to talk shop. Your friend needed to relax, and not let his work become his life. He always told you that the more he got done during the day meant the less he had to do when he got home, but you knew that was a lie. He always came in the next day with more work than when he left, and sometimes you wondered if that laptop bag of his was surgically attached to his shoulder. 

Your salad was long gone and Josh was still typing away, clicking back and forth from his data and his project. Knowing what would get his attention, you innocently poked at his side, and held back a laugh when he flinched and smiled. This spurred you on, and you poked his arm now, forcing him to make a typo. He was trying so hard to not give in, to not give you the satisfaction that he was amused, but he was failing. 

You upped your ante by reaching for his ear. Gently, you ran your fingertip down the shell of his ear, feeling every curve and contour before brushing the skin next to his earlobe. This caused Josh to visibly shudder, and he tried to cover it up by suddenly jerking his head to the side to pretend to bite your finger. You erupted in giggles before you were aware of how close his face was to your hand. Before you could stop yourself, you extended your fingers to lightly cup his jaw. Instead of backing away, he leaned into your touch, a move that neither of you were expecting. His fingers stilled on the keyboard, and slowly backed away and into his lap he turned his body to face yours. 

The logical side of you wanted to just laugh and lean back onto your end of the bench as if nothing happened, but the other side of you, the side that needed him, was telling that first side to shut the fuck up. Letting the intrusive thoughts win, you leaned closer to him, and you hitched a breath when you saw him do the same. There was no space between the two of you, your right thigh was firmly against his left, heat radiating through both of your respective slacks. 

Before either of you could think about it too much, Josh closed the gap between you and slotted his lips onto yours, lazily taking your bottom lip into his mouth. The action caused you to moan against him, and you seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss. The professional side of you was screeching in your head that you were literally at work and in a courtyard full of people, but the rest of you argued back that no one could see you given how tall the hedges were. 

One of Josh’s hands slid up to your face, mirroring what you were doing to him, and his other hand snaked around your waist, desperate to have you closer. Your tongue slipped into his mouth, and he opened up for you instantly. For several moments, you made out like teenagers on that bench. 

You weren’t close enough to him, and before you could protest he lifted you up and over his lap, allowing you to straddle him. He was thanking God that the greenery was so overgrown that you couldn’t be seen in the position you were in. 

As you settled down onto his lap, the rigid outline of his cock pressed up against you, and you instinctively grinded down on him. He bit your bottom lip to keep himself from moaning too loud, but it was futile as that only caused you to let out a breathy moan of your own.

He was kissing you like he was starving, and you couldn’t get over just how good he felt. You always stole glances at his lips, noting how perfect his cupid's bow was and they were the most enviable shade of pink. 

But just as you lowered yourself back down to grind on him even more, a very loud and obnoxious cackle was let out across the courtyard. Of course it was Vera’s obnoxious ass laughing at whatever the fuck. This caused Josh to break away from you, sobering him up to the situation. He was suddenly very aware of you straddling him, with bruised lips and tousled hair. He couldn’t…he couldn’t be here much longer or else he wouldn’t be able to stop. Without any preamble he guided you off his lap and slid out the other side of the bench and adjusted his belt buckle and smoothed down his shirt. He didn’t even glance at you when he shut his laptop and turned to leave, quickly mumbling about needing to run to the bank before his lunch hour was up. It was a clear lie, but he didn’t give you a chance to call him out on it before nearly running out of that courtyard, leaving you dazed and…very wet…on that bench. 

You leaned back in your office chair and rolled your eyes at the memory, not because you didn’t love it, or that it didn’t replay in your head every time you saw the man, but because you were afraid it completely fucked up your friendship with Josh. Before you on your screen was a reminder email about the company Christmas Party that was being held this weekend. You wanted to go, but the thought of mingling with coworkers while Josh continued to ignore you made you want to crawl under your desk and never come out. Because of his outstanding job performance, he was put on the planning committee and thus would have to be there. There was no avoiding him. 

With a resigned sigh you glanced over at his desk, hoping to see him, but finding it Josh-less. Instead you heard his voice chattering away at another desk, leaning against the entrance to a nearby cubicle. To everyone else, he was his normal talkative self, but for you, he was silent and cold. What the actual fuck was his problem? The more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off. Just who does he think he is by kissing you like that, touching you like that, fulfilling the fantasies you’ve had in your head for months, only to throw you away essentially and leave you high but not very dry? Fuck him, but not in the literal sense. He didn’t deserve that. A plan was forming in your head. You were going to show up to that party pushing every button you knew how to push with him. After working for him for nearly two years, you knew what made that man tick. You had picked up on several preferences of his via passing comments, jokes, or flat out remarks. 

And you were going to exploit every single one of them. 

When the day of the party arrived, you looked over at your outfit laid out on your bed. A beautiful long sleeved navy blue velvet dress. Why blue? Well that color had become an inside joke between the two of you, stemming from an exchange on your very first day in the office. 

You were settling into your new cubicle, arranging your things and figuring out just where you wanted everything to go. The size of your desk surprised you, as you were expecting a smaller space given you were a new hire, but the expanse of the desk gave you so much more room to work with. It was a blessing as you tended to spread out your paperwork around you throughout your day, a habit that your old boss noted every time she walked by your desk. 

As you reached into your box full of things you brought from home, your hand settled on the third Funko Pop you had picked out of your collection. Your Funko of Daphne from Scooby Doo had been one of the first you had bought when you started your collection, and she meant a lot to you. 

“You take them out of the box?” An unfamiliar yet pleasant voice interrupted your thoughts and you nearly dropped the box you were holding from being startled. 

Snapping your head up at the source, you were greeted by a rather…gorgeous man with curious big brown eyes. You had briefly seen him when your new boss was giving you a tour of the area you would be working in, and he had been getting something out of the supply closet. 

“Sorry?”

“Your Funkos…you take them out of the box?” 

Realizing what he was referring to, you chuckled slightly in embarrassment, “oh don’t start, my brother already gives me enough shit about ‘ruining their value’ whenever he comes over and sees my collection. They just look so sad sitting in them. They need to be free!”

This caused the stranger to smile as he extended his hand for you to shake, “I’m Josh, your new neighbor across the way.” He dramatically threw a glance over his shoulder at his own cubicle across from yours. You gladly shook his hand and told him your own name, which he repeated softly. 

You continued to pull more items out of your box as he stood there, not minding you had company. In the panic to get what you needed for your new job, you had inadvertently brought mostly blue office supplies. Blue post-its, blue binders, blue pens; it was as if your brain found one color it liked in the store and made you match everything to calm your nerves. 

“Your sweater matches your binders…,” Josh observed. 

This was your second time you looked up at him in embarrassment, “Oh! Yeah…purely unintentional. It’s my nicest one and I wanted to make a good-”

“It looks nice on you, that shade of blue,” he interrupted. 

Before you could stop yourself, you started rattling off a quote from one of your favorite films, “Oh this sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's-"

"...actually cerulean?" 

The smile that spread across your face could light up the entire room, it wasn’t a niche reference, but you were so glad he picked up on it and you didn’t embarrass yourself a third time. After that, your friendship with Josh quickly blossomed, and the ‘blue’ joke got to a point where Josh was calling you Blue to your face, a nickname that stuck no matter how many times you told him to stop. 

Six months into your stay at your current job, you walked into work thinking nothing of the date, but when you got to your desk you saw a familiar small white box with a blue bow taped to the top. You dropped your bag onto your desk and picked it up. Turning it over in your hands you saw that it was a Miranda Priestly Funko, and while you instantly understood who gave it to you, you were confused at the occasion. 

“Happy Six Months, Blue,” Josh said warmly behind you, startling you. 

“Six months?”

“Since you started here! I saw it online and you’ve worked really hard these last six months so I just thought…you needed a token of appreciation.” He leaned towards you and whispered, “since you and I both know corporate doesn’t keep up with such things.” 

You smiled up at him, warmed by the gesture, “thanks Josh…” 

After a few seconds of awkwardly standing there, Josh piped up, “go on…free her from her plastic prison. She’s running out of air and it's getting dark! I’m frightened for her.” Giggles escaped your mouth as you ripped open the box and freed your new Funko. She was put next to your Daphne, as they both held strong sentimental value now. 

You shook your head from the memories, needing to focus on the task at hand. Slipping on the dress and securing your heels, you gave yourself one last look in the mirror before you left for the party. Your hair was perfect, your eyelids dusted with a champagne-colored shimmer, and your lips were adorned with a neutral matte red. There was no way he could ignore you with the way you looked. 

Or so you thought. 

After nearly an hour of mingling, your “friend” had yet to even walk passed you. In fact it was pretty obvious he was avoiding you. He was only on the stupid decorating committee but you’d think he was the host of the entire party with the way he was flitting about the employees, giving them warm greetings and thanking them for coming. You didn’t want to follow him around like a lost puppy, but you kept deliberately putting yourself in his line of vision and he acted like you weren’t there. What the fuck? 

At this point, you were standing with a bunch of your coworkers on your floor, trying to not make it obvious you were glaring at Josh while slowly sipping your cocktail. By the grace of God, one of the men from your floor walked over with Josh in tow, firmly planting him in the little group that had gathered. He still avoided your gaze, keeping his eyes on Brad who clapped him on the shoulder and praised him for a project he had recently finished and was going to present next week. 

Your friend Stacy waved her hand at them, “oh come on no work talk tonight, we get enough of that during the day.” 

“I know, I know but Josh ran his ideas by me the other week and was telling me how it all came together at the end, I’m happy for him,” Brad defended. 

What? Josh never ran ideas with anyone else but you. You were always his first choice whenever he had something cooking in his head. Hell, you didn’t even know he had a big project lined up. But there he was, cheeks flushing at the praise. Under any other circumstances, your heart would stutter at the sight, adoring how bashful he could be, but right now? Right now it pissed you off, and you were on your second cocktail of the night. Your filter was nonexistent. 

“You told Brad about your new project?” You blurted out, slightly slurring your speech. 

At last, Josh finally addressed you, “yes? I wanted to run some numbers by him just to double che-”

“But you always run your ideas by me?” Unfortunately, the alcohol also made it impossible for you to hide the hurt in your voice. “You always ask to pick my brain on things.”

You took a step forward, “yes you do, and I always run my ideas by you in return. They always note how well we work together in meetings.” The rest of your coworkers stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do as you verbally sparred. You didn’t care, you stared at Josh barely blinking. His jaw was clenched, lips set in a line. But you couldn’t stop the words tumbling from your mouth, “you don’t even like Brad! You told me his projections were always off and he talks too much during meetings which is rich coming from-”

At this, Josh handed his drink off to the closest person and quickly grabbed your hand to pull you away from the group. He guided you through the crowd, and you dropped off your empty glass on a random table, not caring where it was. The only thing you could focus on was the warmth from his hand, and how he effortlessly laced your fingers together as he walked. This was the first time he had even touched you since that lunchtime makeout session. 

He swung the outside door open, leading you out onto the side deck of the venue. No one else was out here due to the cold, and the cold wind sobered you up a little. You stood next to the deck rail, glaring at him. 

“What the fuck, Josh?!” 

“What the fuck Josh? How about what the fuck, Blue?!” He’s giving you the hardest look he’s ever given you, his eyes a darker shade of brown you weren’t used to seeing, and no cheek dimple in sight. He continued, “I am preventing you from getting fired for running your mouth in front of everyone.” 

You sneer, “since when do you care what my mouth does?” 

He clenches his jaw again, and he swallows hard enough to see his Adam's apple bob beneath the gorgeous white turtleneck he was wearing. “You know what, I think you need to just stay out here for the rest of the night, and lay off the eggnog.” 

He started to walk off but you grabbed his arm before he could leave, “no, you don’t get to do this again. You have ignored me for nearly a month now.” You lowered your voice even though it was only the two of you outside, “we never even talked…about it…was I that bad?”

He spins to face you, and backs you up against the deck rail, placing both hands on either side of you, bracketing yourself between his arms. He stares at you for a few more seconds, before declaring in a gruff voice, “you were absolutely incredible, and that's the problem.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, and he continued, “I have done nothing but think of you since that day, hell I thought about you every single day before that. Ever since you walked into that office, in that fucking blue sweater, your perfectly coordinated desk supplies, your intelligence, the way you always have a comeback for everything…Blue, I could not get you out of my head even if I tried. But that day? When I finally got to taste you? Have you in my arms? It ruined me. Ruined me for everyone else. The mere thought of even talking to you afterwards sent all my blood south and I can’t walk around the office with a fucking boner, can I?”  You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off again, “and you show up here tonight, looking like this, knowing how much I love you in blue…you wicked little thing.” 

Just then, the door to the outside was swung open by someone that worked on a different floor, and you guessed they got the hint because they quickly went back inside. But as the door closed behind them, the two of you could hear Blue Christmas by Elvis being played loudly through the speakers inside. How appropriate. 

All of your worst case scenarios that had haunted your mind the last few weeks weren’t even true at all. Josh’s words had your heart hammering in your chest, and having him this close to you after a month-long cut off had you aching. His breath was hot as it fanned over your face, the rich chocolate of his irises that matched his brown suit were smoldering before you. Reaching up, you gently cupped his jaw the same way you did weeks ago on that bench, and just like before he leaned into your hand his eyes fluttered shut. 

“Blue…,” he whispered against your palm. 

“I missed you so fucking much. I don’t think you understand how empty I felt without you talking to me every day. Not hearing your daily complaints, not making me laugh, no eye contact during meetings when they got boring? I sat downstairs every single day, at our usual table, hoping to see you, but you never showed. I felt like I did something horribly wrong and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me otherwise,” he shook his head against your hand,  “You just shut me out with no explanation.”

“No..no I’m sorry for that…it was stupid, and cruel of me. I just didn’t know what to do. Every time I tried to talk myself into talking to you, it resulted in me thinking of scenarios that would’ve had us end up with multiple HR violations, and I just couldn’t do it.” He rested his forehead against yours, keeping his eyes closed. 

“Well, Kiszka, what are you going to do about it now?”

A low growl rumbled in his chest and he finally opened his eyes to look over your shoulder at the sprawling grounds of the country club. 

“What if I told you, that when we were looking for venues, I noticed that this particular one has an entire property just for a garden, that's currently out of season, and that there’s a greenhouse off to the side that they keep some of the plants indoors over the winter?” 

You were tempted to look over your shoulder to see what he was looking at, but you didn’t want your eyes to leave his face.

“Are you suggesting…?”

“I’m saying that I need to finish what I started four weeks ago.” 

Before you could respond he took your hand and led you down the steps of the deck and out onto the frost-covered lawn. The entrance to the garden wasn’t very far, but it was nestled in a brick fence. Once inside and out of sight, you got a glimpse at your surroundings. The garden was definitely winterized and dormant, but the hedges were evergreen and tall, successfully blocking anyone who might peer over to that side of the property from the main building. His fingers were still laced with yours as he took a sharp left and down a narrow path. As you traveled deeper into the garden, the party noise slowly fizzled out, and by the time you got to the greenhouse in question, you could barely hear anything other than the wind rustling branches. 

“It’s probably locked…,” you suggested, trying not to sound disappointed.

Josh briefly panicked, not quite thinking about that when he came up with this plan, but he quickly reached up to feel the top of the door frame. When his fingertips landed on cold metal, he nearly said a prayer out loud in gratitude. He held the key up to you, before spinning back around and trying it in the lock. As fate would have it, the lock clicked and the handle turned easily, granting you access. 

Inside, there were a few space heaters already running to keep the chilly night air outside. The temperature difference as you stepped inside was stark, and you shut the door behind you to keep any more winter air from coming in. One of the tables in the middle of the room had been cleaned off recently, with no pots or excess dirt littering the surface. When he was satisfied in his choice for this tryst, he turned around to face you again and backed you up into the door, colliding his lips to yours in a searing kiss. Your arms snaked around his neck, pulling him even closer. His hands flexed and kneaded your hips through the velvet fabric of your dress; his fingertips slowly bunching the material higher and higher until they met the skin underneath. He ran his hands along your skin, stopping abruptly when he felt the lacy material of your thong. He mapped out the lace blindly, tracing the woven pattern while pulling away from your lips to pant harshly against your face. 

“You were really walking around that party wearing these?”

“...you should see my bra…”

The only light in the greenhouse was from the waxing gibbous moon in the sky, streaming its moonbeams through the glass windows. But even with the limited light, you could see Josh’s eyes darken even more at your words. He couldn’t take it anymore, and reached down to firmly grip the back of your thighs and lifted you off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist and he backed up and carefully set you back down on the cleared off table. His lips moved to your neck now, sucking bruises onto your skin, not giving a shit about the marks he left behind. You were his, goddamnit. Now that you were on the surface of the table, he reached back under your dress to tug your thong down your legs. He backed up just enough to slip it off your ankles and past your heels, but he didn’t let it fall to the floor, he looped it around his fingers to hold in front of his face to get a better look at it in the moonlight. It was fucking…blue. You wore dark blue lingerie tonight? Your mission to torture him was succeeding, and another growl grumbled in his chest. Your words from earlier echoed in his head, and after shoving your thong in his pocket, he quickly started tugging your dress off of you. Lifting your dress over your head, his eyes raked down your body. The height of the table gave him a perfect, eye level view of your breasts. The lace that perfectly cupped your flesh matched the thong in his pocket, and he had to lean against his hands on the edge of the table to compose himself. The wood dug into his skin a thought occurred to him, and he immediately ripped his jacket off and swung it around, laying it down behind you, so you wouldn’t have to feel the cold table against your skin. He looked up at you, silently asking permission and when you nodded his hands landed on your breasts, squeezing them through the lace. 

Josh stood before you, wearing absolutely too much in his white turtleneck and slacks. It was incredibly unfair, and you needed to fix that. In your tangle of limbs you clawed at the back of his shirt to pull it off of him. He got the hint and flung it over his head, letting it land on top of your dress beside you. Now it was your turn to gawk at him. This was the most you had ever seen of Josh at this point, and the sight of his perfectly unmarred skin in the moonlight had you drooling. Your hands itched to squeeze his shoulders and dig your nails into his skin. In a flurry, your bra quickly came off, nipples hardening in the chilly air. His mouth immediately closed around one of them, causing you to throw your head back and a reedy sigh escaped your lips. 

As much as you loved the attention he was giving you, you needed more. You needed him. Now. 

“Josh…please…,” you whined. 

He nodded and moaned against your chest, before popping off and returning to your mouth. As his lips devoured yours he reached down to undo his belt and slacks, the metal clanking against the side of the table. He pushed his pants down to his knees and brought one hand to his cock, squeezing it and giving himself a few pumps. You pulled away from his mouth just enough to look down at it, and a shiver of anticipation ran through you. Reaching down, you pushed his hand away and wrapped your fingers around him. 

“Fuck, baby…” rattled out of his mouth. Spurred on, you started to pump him yourself, let your thumb catch the drop of precum resting at the tip, smearing it around the head. His hand shook as he closed it around yours, stopping your movements. “Keep doing that and this will be over embarrassingly fast.” You giggled and moved your arms to rest on his shoulders, giving him a minute to compose himself. 

Finally, he stepped forward, closing the gap between you. He took his cock in his hand once again, dragging it up and down through your slit. You were so fucking wet. He looked at you again, silently asking-

“Josh you don’t do something I’m going to be the one leaving this time and never forgiving you.” 

With that he surged forward, filling you in one fluid motion, causing the both of you to moan into each other's mouths. Your hearts hammering in your chests. He didn’t waste no time before he reared back and filled you again, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he bottomed out. As much as he wanted to, there wasn’t time to take this slow, and frankly after the last month there was too much tension built up between you to even fathom another pace. He leaned you back down onto his jacket, the satin lining felt cool and soft against your skin, and he hovered over you as best he could given the height of the table. 

Your legs instantly wrapped around his waist, locking your ankles right above his ass. As you promised yourself earlier, your nails dug into the soft flesh of his shoulders, and he hissed in your ear in response. Slowly you dragged your fingertips down his back as he pumped into you, the angle making his pelvis grind against your clit exactly the way you needed it. 

It was becoming apparent that the table wasn’t built for strenuous activities, and it started to creek and shift underneath you. Josh didn’t pay it any mind, he was too focused on peppering kisses all along your face and neck, not wanting to leave your skin for a second. He couldn’t get enough of you, and the fact that he was finally having you, was sinking in. He didn’t believe in love at first sight, but that first time he saw you while you took your tour around the office while he was at the supply closet? It had to be as close as one could get. He nearly dropped an entire stack of printer paper when you walked by and your perfume invaded his senses, causing him to look up to see where it was coming from. The sheer luck that you got assigned to the cubicle next to his, and how he pretended to be busy while you started sorting your things. He observed you for several minutes before making his presence known, in the least creepy way possible. You were just…adorable…in how you were organizing your desk, and how you muttered to yourself as you picked things out of the box.

 The crush he developed that day was strong from the beginning, and now? Now he had you completely. His skin was slapping against yours. Your fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging at the roots. Your thighs were squeezing his hips as he hiked one of them higher on his side, allowing him to bury himself deeper inside you. 

“You’re so fucking perfect…god, Blue…fuck…,” he rambled against your mouth, unable to hold back his words. 

You whimpered up at him, “you feel so good.”

“Yeah? Who's making you feel this good?” He lifted his head just enough to look you in the eyes. 

“...you…”

Not satisfied with your answer, he reared back and slammed back into you, harder than before, “no, who is making you feel this good?”

Oh, you knew what he wanted, but you weren’t going to give it to him this easily. Instead you just stroked his cheeks with your thumbs, smiling up at him. 

You wanted to be a brat, he thought, two could play at that game. He instantly pulled out of you, fighting every instinct in his body to stay inside. You whimpered at the sudden loss, your brows furrowing. 

“I’m going to ask you again…” 

For a split second you hated him. You had been so fucking close, and he literally ripped it away from you. Too desperate to keep playing you nearly shouted, “JOSH, you, Josh…you’re making me feel this good…” 

A smirk appeared on his face before he slammed back into you, “mmm…good girl.” 

This side of Josh was surprising you, but you loved it. You had never really taken him for a dominating type, but you couldn’t wait to see more of it in the future. But before you could think about that, your high came hurtling back to you. He reached between you, going straight for your clit and started swirling his fingers around it. You were so wet that his fingertips glided easily in figure-8 motions against the hard nub, causing you to writhe beneath him. His name tumbled from your lips repeatedly as you felt yourself climbing higher and higher. The combination of his fingers and the ridges of his cock dragging against your walls was too much, and you couldn’t hold back anymore. With a shout, you shook underneath him as you came. He continued to pump into you, chasing his own high and prolonging yours with his nimble fingers. You were squeezing him so hard as you rode out your high, and he only had about three thrusts left in him before he emptied himself inside you. His vision nearly went white as he came, and your actual first name shuddered from his mouth. 

Neither of you moved for several moments, but the feeling of his release slowly leaking out and around his cock was undeniable. You started to panic at how you were going to clean up, until Josh reached next to your shoulder where the inside pocket of his jacket was. Silently he fished out a white handkerchief. You caught a glimpse of the initials, JMK, stitched in gold thread in the corner before it disappeared between you two and he pulled out, making quick work to clean you up. When he was satisfied, he stood up fully to pull his slacks back up around his waist, and reached over for your bra, handing it back to you. You slowly sat up, your muscles still feeling like jelly. The two of you were quiet as you redressed yourselves, and you remembered he had your thong in his pocket. 

Holding your hand out, you asked, “can I have them back now?” 

Josh smirked again as he put his jacket back on, “no…I’m keeping those.” 

Your eyes widened as you stared at him, “Josh!” 

He took your hand and started to lead you to the door, “you can have them back when we get to my place…” 

Stopping dead in your tracks you say, “a little presumptuous don’t you think?” Josh’s eyes widened and he realized how that sounded, and he opened his mouth to apologize before you continued, “who said we were going to your place instead of mine?” You laughed at how his shoulders visibly relaxed at your words, and caught up with him at the door. 

“You really are a wicked little thing…,” he mumbled as you ventured back out into the cold. 

As you made it to Josh’s car, you thought you had done a good job at not being seen by anyone, but unbeknownst to the two of you, Stacy and Brad were standing on that same deck from earlier. They watched your very freshly-fucked selves climb into the Jeep before taking off.

A week or so later, on Christmas Eve-Eve, you were greeted to a present sitting on your desk. It was a decent sized box covered in blue wrapping paper, matching blue bow on top. 

“Merry Christmas, Blue,” your boyfriends voice sounded behind you. You looked over your shoulder at him, dropping your bag on your chair. “Go on…it’ll fit on your desk.” 

Skeptically you turned and ripped the wrapping paper off the box, the first thing you saw was the red LEGO square in the corner. Confused, you peeled off the rest of the paper to reveal your present. It was the greenhouse LEGO set. 

“You little shit.” 

FIN

Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @gretasmokerising , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema , @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne , @twistedmelodies , @stardustvanfleet ,

[st4rstudent]

Hey guys just another drawing of the thr- wait what happened to them.

(bonuses + notes under cut)

i've actually been sitting on these designs since september - october/november. The color are... subjective to change. I chose Mac and Winn's colors today. I think Winn's is fine but Mac's keeps throwing me off. Here's the first drawings I did for Mac and Winn.

I like to imagine they're in their own little department. Something to do with tech like an IT department (also to kind of play off of how they're not in the game but run a lot of important events outside of it). So they're not any cog type in specific (like boss, board, law, etc..etc).

Mac's a Macintosh 128k and Winn is just a computer mouse (the tail is supposed to be a little mouse pointer and those are wires in the back. Technically speaking, wires for mice are in the front by the scroll but we can get inaccurate here). Mac's screen can change colors and display options. Together they make the Matrix Team

Here's some Brian's that I did during class last semester. He was originally a mouse, but I found trying to design him was much more annoying than I thought. Then one day during class I had a beam of light hit into my head and made him a big. He's not specific or anything, I tried to do just a stereotypical bug (like how all dogs/cats in game are the same type). He has a triangular head to match his faceplate though :-] you could maybe imagine an ant if you'd like. I figure ants work like cogs in a machine.

The desk jockeys are there too! I haven't really drawn them, but they remain somewhat the same. Instead of being made by toons to look like cogs, they're now made by cogs to look like toons. They also can't teleport so it takes Brian 3x longer to get places, but do they act as multitoons kind of.

This is the only drawing I really have to show my design basis. And YES they are still taller than him because its funny. Ok I think that's all

[happybirthday-unusannus]

A letter I’ve been meaning to write for nearly 600 days but I couldn’t figure out how to put 1000 days worth of emotions into words.

This silly YouTube channel just means, and meant, so much to me. How do I say thank you to someone I’ve never met but changed my life irreversibly?

[Image ID: a 8-page comic.

Page 1 has a picture of myself. I am a white, androgynous person with an asymmetrical haircut that is both blond and brown. I wear the white Camp Unus Annus shirt, rainbow shorts and white hi-tops. I am looking sideways away from the camera. The background is white. The page reads: “It’s been 600 days since you left… …and I’m not sure I’ve learned how to live without you.

Page 2 features two interlooping spirals in black and white surrounded by four calendar pages (reading November 15, February 14, July 6, and October 31, respectively), eyes, stars, and birds on a grey background. The page reads “I still see you in every thing I do.”

Page 3 has four panels. The first panel features a black and white clock with a red second hand. The background is light blue-grey. The panel reads “You’re in the ticking of the clock,”. The second panel features a pale skinned hand holding falling sand on a teal background. It reads “in falling sand,”. The third panel features red roses on a dark green background. It reads “in the roses in the garden,”. The fourth panel features a black spiral on a white background. It reads “in black and white spirals.”

Page 4 has two panels. The first panel is black line art of a hand reaching out on a white background. It reads “I keep telling myself ‘at the end of the year I’ll let you go’”. The second hand features white line art of a hand hanging loosely on a black background. It reads “but I can’t shake the feeling that I haven’t paid off my debt to you.”

Page 5 has two panels. The first features a dark room. There is a beam of light falling on myself in the past, with dark blue hair instead of blond. I am wearing dark clothing, and I sit in front of my laptop. It reads “You came into my life when I was at my worst,”. The second panel features myself sitting of a computer. My hair is blond and I wear the black unus annus long-sleeve. The background is bright orange. It reads “and when you left I had come back to life.”

Page 6 features an artistic rendering of outer space. It reads “There are a hundred billion ways to say ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ and I haven’t mastered a single one.”

Page 7 features a page sticking out of a yellow envelope on a white background. The page in the envelope reads “So as we approach 1000 days since you entered my life,”. The text continues outside the letter: “I am finally writing this letter to say:”

Page 8 is a white background with dark grey text. It reads “Thank you.” Followed by a heart. Underneath it reads in parenthesis “Memento Mori & Memento Vitae” /end ID]

[shuadotcom]

Crush on You | HJS

❄ Summary: Joshua hates the idea of you being all alone for winter break so he wants to surprise you.

❄ Pairing: Joshua x GN!Reader

❄ Genres & AUs: Fluff, friends to lovers au, college au

❄ Rating: PG

❄ Warnings: None just Joshua being the sweetest

❄ Words: 3.3k

❄ Note: First fic of 2023! Big thank you to @toikiii​ for reading this over for me! This is an old fic of mine that I’ve been meaning to get around to rewriting when I was feeling especially soft. My brain simply would not rest and I literally couldn’t work on any other wip until I got some of these Joshua feelings out. The swiftness at which he shot up my bias list since last year is unfair because I didn’t ask to be this down bad for him, yet here I am.

I told myself I’d start working on my Seventeen wips in the new year and here we are - soft hours for Joshua are open forever!

Being broke during winter break sucks. Being broke during winter break and alone sucks even more. Being broke during winter break and being alone and being in a whole different country sucks the most.

You plan on buying your plane ticket to go home for the break early on. You tell yourself over and over again that you’re going to get it months ahead of time. Of course what you plan and what actually happens are two different things.

September is when you’re going to get the round-trip ticket. If you get it out of the way three months in advance, you won’t have to worry about doing anything last minute or having to pay more as the day grows closer. You have the money in your account and as soon as you finish your homework for the week, you’ll sit down, get the ticket, and plan the trip.

Unfortunately, you make the fatal mistake of allowing all of your friends to squeeze into your dorm room to celebrate the coming weekend. Thanks to the half-full bottle of soju that spilled all over your laptop, you learn two things that day; one is to never let a group of college boys drink excessive amounts of alcohol in your dorm room. The second thing is to never let a drunk Kwon Soonyoung anywhere near your expensive things ever again. Ever.

October rolls around and after buying a new computer and making sure Soonyoung knows that he’s indebted to you for basically the rest of his life, you’re back to saving up again. That’s short-lived though when you leave your backpack, which just so happens to have most of your textbooks in it, on the train.

This time you mostly blame Seungkwan. There’s a new restaurant opening in Gangnam that he really wants to try and everyone else is either busy or doesn’t want to go. He has to bribe you with a free meal, but you ultimately agree.

The problem is, he gets so caught up in trying things and gushing over the food that you miss your train back to campus, meaning you’ll likely be late for curfew. He pays the bill and the two of you sprint to the train to catch the next one. Once you reach your stop, you have to push through the abnormally crowded train passengers to get out, and in the process, your backpack is forgotten on the seat you and Seungkwan shared and you don’t realize that your bag isn’t slung over either of your shoulders until the train is long gone. While, yes you blame the incident on your forgetfulness, Seungkwan had told you that he'd carry your backpack and then didn’t so it’s still partially his fault.

November is your fault, which you can admit. Dragging along as many of your thirteen closest friends as will go with you to a SHINee pop-up shop in Busan means more planning and money than you account for. At the time all you have on your mind is getting your hands on as many limited edition fan items as possible, but once you’re faced with the double-digit number in your bank account, irresponsibility and guilt settle heavily on your shoulders.

December brings on tests and projects almost nonstop which barely leaves enough time for you to sleep and eat, so your mind is on school and school alone. You’ve seen the holiday decorations and heard plenty of people talking about the upcoming break, but your homework takes precedence over anything else.

After months of excuse after excuse, and you simply forgetting, here you are now; alone while all of your friends have already gone home for break, most of them only having to hop on a train to get there. Barely anyone is on campus at all and the few students that did stay back are unfamiliar to you so you choose the solitude of your own room for the next week.

Your family doesn’t have the funds to get you a ticket, so your financial irresponsibility is your problem and yours alone. Of course, your friends offer to pay for your ticket home, which when you decline, their next suggestion is to let you go home with one of them, but you turn them all down on that offer too. You want them to enjoy their time with their families and not have to worry about their foreign friend tagging awkwardly along.

You regret your decision just a little bit as you trek through the freshly fallen snow to the bus stop. The fact that the school's cafeteria would be closed with most of the staff gone, hadn't occurred to you either, which is why you found yourself in the small tteokbokki place about fifteen minutes away from school on New Year’s eve.

You’re in the middle of grumpily stuffing your face full of rice cakes when your phone rings on the table. After glancing at the contact name and photo, you quickly swallow the food in your mouth before swiping your finger across the screen to answer the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Is that any way to greet your lovely friend?” A chuckle comes through the line making you scoff while simultaneously trying to ignore your rapid heartbeat.

“You're Joshua, you don't count.”

“Are you saying if I was Jihoon or Jeonghan you would've answered nicer?!” He gasps in faux offense.

“I don't know, maybe. Neither of them has hit me in the face with a door you know,” you taunt, trying not to laugh. You’ll never let him live down the fact that your first time meeting was due to him accidentally smacking you in the face with the door to your shared math class.

“How long are you gonna keep bringing that up?! I said I was sorry!” Joshua lets out a deep sigh and you can practically hear him sulking over the phone. “Anyway, where are you?”

“Tteokbokki,” you simply answer, not needing to explain where since he’ll know “Why?”

“Go back to your room.”

“What?”

“I sent you something and you have to hurry back, like, now.”

“Bu-”

“I'm serious you have to go now. I’ll time you and if you aren't there in less than twenty minutes, I'm sending it back.”

“You can’t just unsend a mailed gift!”

The sound of the dial tone is his reply.

You usually aren’t one to listen to people demanding you to do things. You can admit to being pretty stubborn and petty at times and you can proudly say no if you didn't want to do something.

Well, unless the one telling you what to do was Joshua Hong.

You did a flawless job (in your opinion) of hiding the fact that you’ve, more or less, fallen for one of your best friends. All of your male friends were handsome and fun to be around, but there is something about Joshua that you can’t put your finger on, but it makes you feel so many things for him. His sweet smiles always make your heart practically beat out of your chest. His laughter makes you weak in the knees; the sound is like your favorite song. Anytime you sit close to him, you find yourself daydreaming of being more than friends, the urge to hold his hand always at the forefront of your mind.

Obviously, you haven’t told a single soul about this and you plan to keep it that way. The last thing you need is to disrupt the dynamic of your newfound family with a silly little crush, but you still can’t help the giddy feeling you get around him or the way that you tend to do nearly anything he asks of you.

Today is no expectation as you promptly stand up, throw away your trash, and beeline out of the restaurant and to the bus stop to go back to campus.

With your boots caked in snow, palms sweaty, and breathing labored from fast-walking to get here, you’re back at your building and rushing into your room. Upon stepping inside, you instantly note that it looks different than the way you left it.

Your walls, which are usually covered in posters, now have sparkly, silver stars hanging haphazardly around the room. There’s a string of blinking fairy lights hung up on the ceiling, a few feet above your head and there’s a candle burning that smells strongly of sugar cookies. Sitting on your desk is a small artificial Christmas tree complete with rainbow-blinking lights and a little gold star on the top. Your eyes only scan these things briefly before they land on the man sitting cross-legged in the middle of your bed. His phone is next to him, playing a soft R&B song that you can’t name, but it sounds nice. He’s wearing a red and white sweater and a glittery ‘Happy New Year’ headband. Joshua’s wide, bright smile completes the ensemble.

“Surprise!” Joshua bounces off your bed and throws his arms in the air.

You’re still standing in the doorway, unsure of what to even say. A jumble of things runs through your mind, but the only thing you manage to get out is, “How'd you even get those lights on the ceiling? You’re not that tall.”

Joshua throws his head back and laughs in response. “I show up here when I'm supposed to be at home and turn your room into what looks like the holidays threw up in it, and that's what you say to me?”

As if a switch is flipped, you snap out of your daze and kick your soggy shoes off, tossing your coat on the back of your desk chair and plopping down on the edge of your bed.

“Okay then, why are you not in California and how did you do this?” You try your best not to sound as giddy as you feel and ignore the somersaults your stomach is doing under your sweater.

“Well, as you know I did go home.”

“Yes, we all facetimed for Christmas I’m aware.”

“Don’t interrupt!” He playfully scolds, and it makes your face heat up. “As I was saying, I went home, but I was still thinking about you here alone and I just couldn’t stop imagining you sitting here with no one to celebrate any of the holidays with and I hated it. So, I bought a plane ticket and got back here this morning to surprise you. I actually didn’t know if you’d be in your room or not, but when I came by you were already gone so I let myself in and decided this was a better surprise than showing up with the decorations in my arms and making you put them up with me. Worked pretty well I'd say.” Joshua pats himself on the back and admires his work with a pleased grin.

“Okay… but why?”

“Why what?” Joshua sits on the bed next to you, your body going rigid. You try to create some distance between the two of you, the usual butterflies in your stomach going insane.

“Why did you go through the trouble of setting all of this up and leaving your family? During the holidays of all time.”

Joshua's face is suddenly serious as he turns towards you. “Because I know you. I know when you're unhappy, even when you try and hide it. You've been unhappy all month and I could tell. When you’re sad about something you get weirdly quiet all the time, whether you notice or not. You also get more agitated than usual and you stare off into space a lot.” He scoots closer to you ever so carefully. “We've known each other for two years so I've had plenty of time to pick up little things about you. I probably know more about you than you think.” Joshua shrugs and glances away from you. His tone has been casual, but you don’t miss the blush that spreads over his face.

“So… you ditched your family early to come back to school during break and spent your time and money on decorations for my room because you wanted me to not be unhappy?”

“Well, I mean you're my friend, obviously.” His face is still turned away from you, but the strain in his voice is noticeable. Seeing Joshua act so flustered gives you a boost of unexpected confidence, so you decide to see how far you can push this conversation. Admitting that you have a crush on him terrifies you to no end, but maybe you can gauge his feelings.

“But I'm also friends with Mingyu and Chan and they didn't go out of their way to do this for me.”

“Yeah, but they're not clever enough to think of doing this. And they're also nowhere near as nice as I am.”

“What about Wonwoo? He's pretty smart. And Seungcheol is actually the sweetest man I've ever met. If anyone would've planned all of this, it would've been him,” you say matter-of-factly.

Joshua finally turns to look at you then, clearly offended.

“What do you mean?! I’m very sweet! How about that time I brought you all of your homework and let you copy my lecture notes that whole week you were sick! And the time last year that I surprised you with EXID tickets for your birthday! And let us not forget all the food I’ve made and bought you when you have cravings! I’m so nice I don't know how you stand it! Seungcheol sucks." He puffs out his cheeks and crosses his arms, a pout forming on his perfect lips.

You have to turn your head and change the giggle you nearly let out into a cough.

“Well yeah, but Seungcheol always compliments me. He also makes sure that when he gets coffee for himself before our Tuesday morning class, that he brings me a caramel latte since he knows it’s my favorite. You've never brought me anything before our class.”

Joshua’s brown eyes stare into yours as you talk, his jaw clenching in annoyance, but you keep talking. “Oh! And he always holds doors open for me. Let's not forget what happened the last time you and a door were anywhere near me.”

“Not this again -” He groans out through gritted teeth.

“And, Seungcheol also makes sure any restaurants we go have plenty of nut-free options for my allergy and -” Joshua grabs your waist, tugging you forward and sending you falling against his chest. When you look up at him and your eyes meet, he hesitates for only a second before bringing his lips to meet yours.

He moves his hands up to cup your face and turns his head, aligning your lips at a better angle. Your fingers grip the front of his sweater, hands bunching up the fabric.

Kissing Joshua Hong is only something that you dream about and keep to yourself, but this moment, right now with him, is better than any scenario your brain has conjured up on its own.

The two of you lose track of time, nothing mattering except how soft Joshua’s lips are and how good he smells, and how warm his hands on you are.

It isn’t until you need to breathe do both of you pull back slowly, neither of you really wanting to do so. Once your eyes flutter open, they widen, the realization of what just happened hitting you. Joshua on the other hand looks much more relaxed - relieved even.

“I can’t believe you kissed me,” you breathe out, almost in a whisper, afraid that if you’re too loud you’ll wake up from what you’re still convinced may be a dream.

“I can’t believe you kissed me back.” The two of you share a quiet laugh.

“Is that why you came back to do all of this for me?”

Joshua gives you a look that very much feels like a non-verbal ‘duh!’ “I thought it was obvious honestly. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first met you.”

“With my bloody nose and all, huh?”

His pretty face twists in agony at your teasing. “You’re going to make me apologize for the rest of my life about the door huh?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Our kids are going to ask how we met and you’re going to tell them that their father nearly knocked you out and had to rush you to the campus infirmary and how for the rest of the day I stalked you around school to make sure you didn’t randomly pass out because I gave you brain damage.”

You chuckle at his dramatics, telling your heart to stop trying to leap out of your chest at the idea of kids and a future with Joshua. You’ve been more than friends for less than an hour at least - you have got to calm down.

“Oh, before I forget, no more talking about Seungcheol like that anymore, okay? And I'm going to tell him not to bring you lattes in the morning because I'm going to do it.”

“But your classes on Tuesdays don’t start until eleven.”

“Guess I'll just have to get up early and meet you then. I’m going to be nicer than Seungcheol can ever hope to be. You’re mine now so no one can be nicer to you than me.”

“Whatever you say, Shua.” You roll your eyes at him, fighting back a giddy smile.

“Good. Now that that's settled, let’s pack a bag for you.” Joshua hops off of the bed and drags your suitcase out from under your bed.

“What? Why?”

“You wouldn’t let me buy you a plane ticket back home, so you're coming home with me,” he says as he bounds over to your closet. Just as you open your mouth to object, he puts a hand up. “You're not going to spend the rest of the break here alone. I got a round-trip ticket for myself and one for you too. The flight leaves tomorrow morning, so we should get your stuff ready now.”

Crossing your arms, you watch him casually look through your clothes. “And what if I didn’t like you back? You didn’t even know that I felt the same way about you.”

He only shrugs. “Honestly? I didn’t plan that far ahead. I just wanted to get to you so you weren’t lonely anymore and I’d figure it out from there.” He emerges with an armful of your sweaters, beginning to neatly fold them and set them in your open suitcase. “But now I don’t have to vanish off the face of the planet due to embarrassment and a broken heart which is good because I told my parents I was bringing you back. My mom is super excited to meet you.”

The thought of going home with your friends was awkward to you which is why you turned everyone down. The thought of going home with your used-to-be-friend-who-is-now-your-boyfriend makes you just as nervous, if not more, but even so, you don’t object as you join Joshua in packing your things and set your bag by your door for the morning.

The two of you spend the rest of the night cuddling, something you never want to stop doing with him as long as you live. When the countdown to midnight starts, you watch on your laptop as a new station counts down and as soon as midnight hits, Joshua’s pulling you into another kiss, this one just as magical as the first.

Your lips are still tingling when he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“Happy New Year, Y/n.”

“Happy New Year, Shua.”

Sleep comes next for both of you, Joshua mentioning that the flight is pretty early and that you need your rest before dealing with the chaos of the airport. He rambles a little as you fall asleep, going on about wanting to take you to all his favorite places back home. Just hearing the excitement in his voice helps you decide that maybe visiting his family wouldn't be so bad. Especially if he keeps kissing you the way he does and looking at you with those soft, sparkling eyes. Hell, if he asked you to fly to the moon with him right now, you’ll likely say yes without a second thought and not regret a single thing. Not as long as you’re with him.

[ttuesday]

A New Year's Kiss with the Fellers

I know I'm a few hours early but HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I decided to quickly do these before the new year is here lol

Arthur

Arthur has thought about asking you to be his new year’s kiss since the idea randomly popped into his head in November but even in the last few hours of the year, Arthur still hasn’t worked up the courage to actually ask you. His biggest fear is making a fool of himself in front of you, nervous that this might put a dent in your friendship if you react negatively.

He approaches you a few times throughout the day, trying to make small talk as he slowly works up the courage to ask but every damn time, the words get caught in his throat. He needs some advice, desperately and so Arthur explains his predicament to Hosea. 

Unfortunately Hosea’s advice is the one thing Arthur already knows but is procrastinating on; simply asking you. Nodding his head, he swears he’ll ask you… but in true Arthur fashion, he leaves it to the last minute. Literally.

While everyone counts down the seconds to the new year, Arthur turns to you and starts mumbling. It takes you a few times of saying “huh?” and “what?” for Arthur to speak loud enough but he gets the words out just in time.

Making up the excuse that he overheard John saying it to Abigail, Arthur asks if you want to do “one of them… uh, New Years kiss things..”. Much to his surprise you say yes, leaning up and pressing your lips to his as the clock strikes 12. The kiss doesn’t last long but my god do you take his breath away. Arthur’s left stunned afterwards, his mouth hanging open as he tries to compute not only that you said yes but that you actually kissed him too. One thing’s for sure, this is the best New Years Arthur has ever had.

Charles 

This isn’t something Charles plans out. Well, I guess in a way it is but not how you would expect. Up until New Year's Eve, Charles didn’t even think about having a New Year’s kiss. It’s not something he’s ever partaken in before so it isn’t on his radar. That is until John brings it up, asking if anyone has any plans.

Initially Charles was going to shrug it off and say it’s not his kinda thing but then he makes eye contact with you. For a moment, you both look at each other, as if thinking the exact same thing. Saying your name, Charles asks if you have anyone to be your new year’s kiss. 

Since neither of you have any previous plans (and because this is a great excuse to finally kiss), the two of you decide you may as well do it together. Charles tries to keep it casual, not wanting to pressure you or blow this out of proportion.

Is he getting butterflies in his stomach leading up to midnight, going over and over how he plans to kiss you? Damn right he is, but Charles is very good at keeping a calm demeanour. 

Charles is very gentle when he kisses you, wanting to keep the kiss intimate while also being aware of the gang celebrating around you both. He might be quiet afterwards but it’s only because Charles is freaking out on the inside because y’all actually kissed, replaying the moment in his head as he hopes he did everything right.

Dutch

Dutch makes his intentions very clear. He’s been continuously flirting with you for the past few months, amping it up the closer it gets to New Year’s Eve.  

During the gang’s party, Dutch leans down so his lips are right by yours, telling you not to stray too far before midnight before pulling away again. Yeah, he can be quite the tease when he wants to be.

When the countdown to the new year begins, Dutch plants his hands firmly on your waist, gazing down at you tenderly as he says “I think we should start the new year off right, don’t you?”. With a nod of approval, Dutch dips down and kisses you just as the clock strikes midnight. 

He keeps the kiss chaste, leaving you yearning for more. For the rest of the night, Dutch stays by your side, and if you’re not sitting on his lap then you’re seated next to him with his hand on your thigh.

If you’re in the mood to…ahem… continue the celebrations after the party, Dutch will graciously invite you back to his tent *wink wink*

Micah

Don’t be expecting too much charm with Micah. Depending on how much he drinks, he mightn’t make as many vulgar comments as usual, hoping a softer approach might make you like him more but even at that, don’t expect much change.

He debates whether he should ask you for a New Year’s kiss but Micah’s pretty confident you’ll say no, well aware that if any gang member overhears his request, they’ll quickly urge you to reject him. 

And so instead Micah decides to take a more tactical approach, hoping if he asks you a few seconds before midnight then the other gang members will be too busy to interject and instead leave the decision entirely up to you. 

With thirty seconds till the new year, he finds you in the crowd and starts to proposition you. Honestly, maybe Micah is hanging around Dutch too often because he kinda starts monologuing, over explaining the idea as it gets dangerously close to the new year. Thankfully, you’re having a great night and you’re at that point where every idea sounds like a good idea.

With a mere couple of seconds left, you cut Micah off, holding the collar of his shirt as you lean up and press your lips to his. You’ve caught him completely off guard. Despite his excessive explanation of how this is a good idea, Micah was preparing himself for a slap, not a kiss. “Eager,” he comments, trying to act casual when you finally break the kiss. Micah can’t remember the last time he’s been kissed like that and now he’s feeling a lot of emotions he isn’t quite used to.

John

John mentions this idea to you well in advance. He’s had a thing for you for quite some time now and jokingly mentioned that he’d be your New Years kiss if you don’t have one yet. Since then, it became some weird inside joke between you two.

It’s kinda like a game of chicken, the two of you each taking turns to ask the other where they’ll be just before the clock strikes 12, hinting towards this kiss. Does John know if you’re being serious? Nope, he can’t tell if you’re joking or not.

Even minutes before New Years, John doesn’t know if this is just a joke or if you’re actually planning on kissing him. He’s hoping for the latter but you can be a hard book to read when you want to be. Nevertheless, as everyone counts down the last few seconds, you stand next to a nervous John, though he’s trying his best to act cool, calm and collected.

Just as everyone rings in the New Year, you turn to John and quickly press your lips to his. John's eyes go wide, equally relieved and surprised that you actually kissed him.

Seeing his shocked expression once you pull away, you ask “What? We agreed to do a New Years kiss, right?”. “Y-yeah! Yeah, 'course we did!” He hurriedly replies “you just caught me off guard… want to do it again so I can uh... redeem myself?”. 

Javier

You and Javier spend the entire night together, the two of you coming back to camp just in the nick of time for the celebrations.

You both stick together throughout the party, wherever you go, Javier isn’t far behind, your similar sense of humour making the night much more enjoyable than you could have ever imagined.

In fact, you were having such a good time with Javier, you almost forgot the time. The two of you were trying your best at dancing, a mixture of tripping over one another's feet while trying to maintain a bit of dignity when Karen loudly starts to holler about there only being a few seconds left in the year.

You’re not sure who kisses who first. The two of you simply looked at one another, a gleaming excitement in your eyes and suddenly you were kissing him. It just happens, no prior planning or discussion about it. The sensation of his lips on yours makes you forget all about the New Year’s celebrations and instead all you can think about is how long you’ve been waiting for this moment.

Afterwards, Javier takes you hand in his, bringing it to his lips and he says “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that”. Giving your hand a sweet kiss, he continues to dance with you, setting a slower yet more romantic pace, keeping you pressed against his chest as he gets lost in your eyes. Yep, this is his ideal way of ringing in the new year.

Sean

By the time it’s almost midnight, Sean is quite tipsy, having spent the last few hours dancing, singing and drinking. He’s been flirting or well, trying to flirt with you all day but Sean has yet to properly confess his feelings to you, unsure how to go about it.

He makes sure he’s perfectly positioned next to you in the minutes leading up to midnight, trying to stay composed but it’s pretty obvious when Sean is plotting something, a badly concealed smirk on his face and his inability to keep still being his main giveaways. 

The second you ask him what he’s up to, Sean starts excitedly rambling. It’s like you’ve opened up a waterfall and within a mere few moments, Sean tells you exactly how he feels. He’s not as suave or charming as he planned, the words immediately spilling from his mouth. 

As the others begin to countdown, he asks if there’s anyway you can show him how you feel *hint hint*.  Yeah he’s not so subtly, practically puckering his lips the moment he finishes his sentence. The good new is Sean’s a pretty good kisser, extremely eager and will leave you breathless for the New Year.

The supposed “bad” news is that you’re not only going to get one New Years Kiss from Sean. He doesn’t see why ye should only do one when the gang will be celebrating the New Year all night. Expect many kisses for the rest of the night. 

Hosea

Your New Years Kiss with Hosea isn’t planned. Sure, he’s heard a few of the others talking about it but this sort of thing is nothing Hosea normally involves himself with. 

In the minutes leading up to the new year, Hosea finds himself gravitating towards you, which isn’t anything out of the ordinary.

During gang celebrations you two prefer watching than participating in the gang’s drunken activities and so you both end up by one of the quieter tables, listening as everyone cheers and sings, preparing for the new year.

Your chairs are pushed right next to each other, shoulder to shoulder as you watch the others. As they start the countdown, Hosea turns his head towards you and gently says “I’m glad I’m starting the New Year with you”. 

Facing him, you realise how close you are to him and without thinking, you kiss him just as the new year passes. It is technically a New Years kiss? I mean, I guess so but the main reason you do it is because it feels right. And Hosea can feel that too, bringing his hand up to gently cup your face as he kisses you back.

Trelawny 

Trelawny knows what he’s doing. One of the very first things he asks you on New Years Eve is if you have a New Years kiss planned. He’s very eager to make this happen and as soon as you say you don't, he very graciously offers his services to be your New Years kiss.

He kinda springs this on you and in the moment you agree, not expecting it to be anymore than a simple kiss but this is Trelawny we’re talking about, so you know he doesn’t do things simplistically. 

Josiah sees this as his opportunity to truly sweep you off your feet, to show you how much he cares and how passionate he is as a lover. He essentially sees the gang’s party as an overcrowded date, dancing with you and offering to get you a drink whenever you want one, all in the lead up to midnight.

When it’s finally time, Trelawny takes your hand in his, giving you a reassuring nod before bringing his lips to yours. He puts his all into this kiss, not wanting to go too over the top and scare you off but doing just enough to make it feel special.

When the kiss is over, Trelawny keeps you close, your lips only inches apart as he wishes you a happy new year.

Kieran

You have no idea how many times Kieran thinks about hiding with the horses and “accidentally” missing the New Year’s celebrations. He really wants to. If it isn’t for the occasional death stares from Arthur and Tilly, two people Kieran accidentally leaked his idea of kissing you to when he had too many drinks, then Kieran is confident he would have backed out by now.

With five minutes to midnight, Arthur gives him an aggressive encouraging shove and suddenly, Kieran’s next to you, stumbling over his words as he compliments your outfit (though it’s nothing special, just the same ol’ clothes you’ve been wearing all day).

He hopes you don’t notice how tightly he’s gripping his drink as he talks to you, knowing he only has a matter of minutes to ask you for a kiss.

While you didn’t notice his nervous disposition, you quickly pick up on how much Kieran focuses on your lips. You have some idea why Kieran might coincidentally be next to you now, with only a minute to midnight, but he’s not saying anything which worries you a little bit.

Taking a deep breath, Kieran turns to you and together you both blurt out “Do you want to kiss at midnight?” at the same time. It takes the two of you a few seconds to comprehend what the other just said, a smile spreading across your face when you realise how similar your line of thinking is to Kieran’s .With little time to spare, you quickly lean forward, closing the gap between you both and kiss him. It takes no time for Kieran to melt into the kiss, confident this will be his best year yet.

[narastories]

catching up about fandom stuff

Oh, hi! Do you mind if I ramble a bit?

I feel like I've been a little distant and antisocial in the past few months due to personal stuff (mainly because my trauma bucket got kicked over many, many times, but also I've been trying to get the ball rolling on a few things I've been meaning to do for a while). And I know I'm not the only one who has been having a hard time. But now it's spring here, and I'm feeling a little hopeful and a bit more inspired. Is it just me? Do we dare to be hopeful??

I'm reminding myself that both of my favorite urban fantasy series, and main fandoms nowadays are due a new book maybe this year, and that is exciting and very much things to look forward to! It also makes me want to quickly write fic ideas I have before the canon status quo changes lol (Not that it matters. I believe you can write whatever you want. But with both of these series, we love to theorize about what is going to happen, so it feels like things are just not going to be the same when we get new pieces of information, you know?)

I'm also acutely aware that I haven't posted a Harry/Nic fanfic since the OTP challenge in NOVEMBER 2022 wtf. And uh, yeah. If you needed any further proof of my poor mental health then it is probably proof enough that I haven't touched my favorite obscure little OTP.

The good news is, that I have actually been inspired to write lately. I'm doing a little re-read of the FPA books, and also Skin Game, and it's all putting me back in the mood for fanfic. And I have been typing away for the past few weeks, trying to get back into it.

The bad news is, that I don't feel like posting things yet. I just want to be kind to myself and create without having to worry about sharing it. I know this might sound hypocritical bc I just shared a post about connecting in fandom. At the same time, sometimes it does good for a story to just let it sit and simmer a bit.

There is this expression (that I don't think is actually very popular in the English language) "to write for the drawer" and I never thought that was a bad thing. Sure I write very niche stuff so you would think it doesn't matter either way, but a story is never the same after you release it out into the world. So it's okay to keep it to yourself for a while and tinker with it and enjoy the process.

I also discovered gif making for myself. (If you have seen the gifset I posted yesterday, no you didn't :P I put it on private bc I wasn't happy with it yet. Mainly bc of the subtitle thing. I either have to figure out a clever overlay or venture out into the foreign planes of the internet to forage a little bit more lmao) I think the popularity of gifsets on tumblr is so fascinating, bc it's a format that just isn't very popular elsewhere (or convenient lol). When I was younger in fandom I never had a good enough computer to do this kind of editing. So now it just made me so happy to realize that my computer can do it, and I found it a relaxing activity.

I already dipped my toe in it with that Hellraiser/DF quote gifset, but now I figured out a method to make it look a lot better. And with open source tools too! That made me especially happy lol But I also realized that if I want to post gifsets then I might have to break my "no sideblogs" rule... Anyway, this is just one more thing that I will probably experiment with privately, and then we'll see if I put it out there or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is: creative hobbies are important. And if you can bring yourself to do them even when you feel like shit, it usually helps to feel a little less shitty. And that I will incubate my little projects for a while longer and then maybe I will feel like sharing them.

[yourlocalwheeliebin]

Driving Home to Bucky After A Long Day

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (Gender Neutral) Reader 

Word Count: 1.3k

TW: None 

AN: Just a short but sweet one shot about our favorite boy. This has sat in my google docs for a ass time so I hope you all enjoy! Okay, mags out!

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

It’s been a long day. Too long for it to only be a Wednesday. You're having to work late because one of your colleagues fucked up some paperwork after a mission that you now need to fix. Your boss is nice enough to ask if you need dinner orders but you tell them no and you'll eat when you get home. “Fucking Sara, how do you screw up a goddamn injury form this badly” you groan, filling out anther claim made by our colleague. 

Finally, after around 3 hours past your usual shift, you're able to leave for Buck's. You look out the window and the rain has only gotten heavier on the cold November night. It’s pitch black out apart from city lights and cars that drove past. You shut down your computer, grab your coat and start to head out. In the lift, you message Bucky letting him know you're finally on the way home. It's almost 8pm. 

You run to your car, holding your jacket over your head to not get too wet. You sit there for a few minutes to let out a deep sigh and release some stress that you'd been holding. Starting up your car, you turn on the heating and connect your phone up to the Bluetooth. Songs that remind you of Bucky start to play, a feeling of ease finally washes over you as you pull out of the parking lot. 

Traffic in Brooklyn is brutal, the journey home taking far longer than you'd like it to. The lights of other cars slowly strained your tired eyes. The yells and noise of the city deafened by the music playing through the speaker. Your clothes and hair slowly dry as you drive, wondering how much longer the journey will take.

Pulling up to Bucky's apartment, you turn off the car and lie back on the seat for a second. Almost steadying the tiredness and stress from the day before you venture into the apartment complex. The area isn't the nicest but it's near where he grew up. A rough blue eyed boy from Brooklyn who deserved the world waiting for you to come home to him. Mentally cursing how many stairs you'll have to climb since the lift is out of order. 

Entering the building, the dusty smell of the cold building is a stark contrast to the cold November air outside. The climb up the stairs felt like an eternity, the walls getting progressively dirtier as you climb each flight. Standing outside the door of Buck’s apartment at last, you slowly open the door to the dimly lit home. 

Bucky's apartment wasn't much. He rented it when it was just himself living there, not taking into account meeting you or the fact he deserved more than just four dingy walls. Parts of you linger in each room, a daily reminder that you’re real and not just part of some sick dream. That you're really with him, not planning to leave any time soon. 

From the toothbrush in the bathroom; to the extra blankets and cushions you bought for the living room so the leather of the beat up old sofa wouldn't stick to your skin after hours of watching TV together cuddled up. Fairy lights hung up in the bedroom and living room, a fond memory from when you put them up at Christmas the year before but never took them down since you thought they looked pretty. He couldn't help agreeing, saying they looked beautiful as he stared at you rather than the yellow lights decorating the walls. 

The small kitchen held home to kitchenware that you bought once you found out he only had two pots and a frying pan for pancakes. A cheesy apron hung up on the edge of the door that had "Kiss the Cook'' on the front, a joke gift that a friend of yours bought you for your birthday. 

Though the apartment was small and there was barely enough room to move in it, he wouldn't change it for the world. His room didn't have a door to separate it from the living room and sure, the heating didn't work half the time and don't get him started on the guy on the 2nd floor who flirts with you every time he runs into you....he wouldn't change it one bit of it meant a life without you. 

Walking through the door, the smell of cinnamon, leather and dust washed over you. A warm welcoming smell that always felt like home to you. He always seemed to smell like old leather, pine and something sweet that you couldn't quite put your finger on. You took off your shoes and called out to Bucky as you put down your bag and jacket on the small side table that was next to the front door. 

You looked around for Bucky as you walked in. The kitchen island was tidy for once and the wooden floor had been mopped. 'Must have cleaned while I was out' you thought as you walked towards the sofa in the middle of the living room. An old Friends rerun playing on the TV again. 

Buck walks out from the bathroom in a t-shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, looking freshly showered with his wet hair sticking to his forehead. He comes over with a smile on his face, eyes still the brightest blue you'd ever seen, and envelopes you in a hug. He asks how work was as he leaves a kiss on your forehead. You explain your day before quickly heading off to change out of your work attire.

After changing and finally feeling comfortable again, you walk into the living room. The main lights had been turned off, the fairy lights from Christmas were turning the room a warm and cosy yellow. Some candles were lit on the kitchen island and on the TV stand as some soft music played in the background. You laugh a little as you walk over to him. Sat on the sofa, Bucky smiles at you, knowing how hard today must have been.

"Long day?" He asked. "God, don’t get me started” Buck stood up from the sofa, making is way to the middle of the small living room and placed a hand on your lower back and slowly pulled you in for a kiss. “I would gladly have rather spent the day here”. Buck let out a small breathy laugh, “well you’re here now” he says, almost whispering as if was trying to convince himself you were real. 

“How'd you do this all while I was getting changed? I was only in there for like 5 minutes, Buck". He takes your hands in his as Louis Armstrong starts to play through the speaker. "I may have planned this out a bit before you got home. Plus, food has been ordered. Got your favorite" He said with that same sweet smile he always gives you. Even though your tired, that damn Bucky Barnes Charm is irresistible. 

“Wow look at you go, ordering food from your phone” He scoffs sarcastically. “Hey, I am perfectly capable ordering from the phone, it’s not rocket science” You laugh, resting your forehead against his. “I know, I’m only joking old man”. 

He pulls you close and starts to sway to the music. The windows open slightly let in the light noise of rain and that ambiance of the city outside. It all adds to the small bubble the two of you had made in the apartment. The song changes to Can't Help Falling In Love With You as he places another kiss on your forehead. 

"I love yah, Doll. You know that right?" You turn your head to face him. The swaying stops and his hands rest on your waist. His face, dimly lit by the fairy lights and candles. "I know, I love you too Buck. Always have, always will". The two of you go back to softly swaying to the music, wrapped in each others warmth. Feeling safe in the world for a moment. 

[morphofan]

Hyper-Fixation and The Bad Batch

Or, "WTF Is Going On With Morph, Lately?"

Me and The Bad Batch

SO, I first started watching The Bad Batch during the hiatus between S1 and S2. I was big into Boba Fett (thanks to The Mandalorian) and so I found The Bad Batch because Boba was mentioned in one episode. But I didn’t sit down to watch it until my friend, Cyn, told me I HAD to watch it.

So I watched the whole first season, and then had to go back and watch The Bad Batch arc in Season 7 of The Clone Wars. I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for Season 2. I was writing again, inspired again, hyper-fixated.

My sweet cat, my baby, Thomas, died at age 5 in November of 2022. It emotionally destroyed me.

Then my desktop computer had a total hard drive failure. Up until then, I was backing stuff up in a separate folder on my computer, which did f*ckall because the entire hard drive went bad. This was before I learned about backing stuff up on a cloud or OneDrive or whatever.

I lost all my fics, including a half-dozen Bad Batch fics in various states of completion. It was some of the best work I’ve ever written, and it was gone. Poof.

So, there was that sense of lost, and I almost left the fandom from sheer depression. I tried to rewrite the fics, but it wasn’t going to work because I knew I could never replicate what I had written.

Then came “Plan 99.”

I didn’t eat for a week. Not a bite, not a calorie. For seven days. I dropped 16 pounds. At the time of this writing, it’s been nearly 10 months since the finale of S2. The Bad Batch has occupied my mind this entire time. I couldn’t tell you what I did over the last ten months, because it was all just a long blur. I neglected my family, my duties, all the things that a grown ass woman is supposed to focus on.

I still tried to contribute to the fandom, with “Travels With Tech,” fic and video edits, but most of it has been more or less ignored.

A week or so ago, the friend that originally told me about TBB died, very suddenly, of a heart attack at age 45, leaving three kids.

We still haven’t been publicly shown the S3 Bad Batch teaser that was revealed at Star Wars Celebration back in May 2023. There’s been no word of a release date, aside from 2024. It feels now like the creators are mocking us by dropping little comments on TwiX about S3, but not actually giving us anything.

And I’ve realized now, that I’ve built up S3 in my head so much, and imagined so many scenarios I want to see, that I am destined to be disappointed when it does finally air. No matter how amazing S3 is, it cannot live up to the standards I’ve assigned it in my mind.

I did the same thing with S3 of The Mandalorian. I kept thinking, if I could just hold on until S3 of Mando, everything would be good again. But when it came, I was disappointed. And I know the same thing is going to happen with The Bad Batch.

Hyper-fixations always follow the same pattern. I get obsessed with something, and then, quite suddenly, it passes over and I become ambivalent to it. It’s happened with every fandom I’ve been with. Something that, for a time, I thought I could not live without becomes ho-hum. I don’t ever want it to happen, but it always does.

And now I have the guilt of wasting the last two years of my life on yet another hyper-fixation, only to lose interest in it just as suddenly as it started.

S3 of TBB is NOT going to make everything right again. It might provide some happiness for a few months, but then it will end and that will be it.

So anyway… sorry.

END

[bailesona]

" so, my current theory is that this guy just... pissed off back to ireland. " sanji sits against the wall, ankles crossed, immaculate shoe heels tilted and pressed against the tiles to lean his chair back. expert hands guide a pair of chopsticks through his dinner, noodles gathering delicate sips of ginger and scallion broth on the way upward. " i mean, he's got means, motive, aisling's been ruthless since november... maybe he chickened out? the real question is, what's he got to do with the crap that's been happening 'round here? "

tina's glare at the computer screen has eli wondering if he could just go with tim and fatin on their escapades. all the embassies in the world wouldn't frighten him nearly as much as tina does when people don't instantly see things the way she does. in fact, only for kie's recent attendance (this is the first time) he'd have left hours ago. " look. you're new here. so let me wrap it up nice and neat for ya. fiachra's attacked us twice a month ever since we moved here. he schedules it and toys with her in the meantime. since november, we should've had at least five visits. we've had none. "

" what's really bugging me, though... " victor casts a friendly glance at kie. no idea how she's still here when tina's voice could cut through steel. " that footage we had of him and mum on november second. he looked angry. like, properly angry. and she said something. god, what the hell was she saying... whatever it was, it scared him. and she looked confused, so... "

" we've got another month of footage to go through. either that, or we check out those addresses he had in new york. " eli draws in a deep breath through his nose, shoulders squared, wishing tina would be a few steps away so he could hear if she took offence at his different suggestions. " and considering the three of us are too close to mom to be objective, and sanji seems pretty committed to just keeping an eye on us... @freezegirl, what do you think we should do? "

OPTIONS ( link to a d20 here! only one option needs it though! ):

stay at home and watch the rest of the footage to see if fiachra appears again.

involve another member of the squad or family to try and get a fresh perspective.

everyone leaves to examine each of the houses one by one together as a group.

the group splits up into two groups to cover more ground. ( D12 charisma, bc persuading tina will be a challenge! )

[leonsrightlations]

The Earth is Online Chapter 1.1

At nine in the morning when the city library opened, there were already seven or eight white-haired elderly people waiting at the door. It was Monday and, unlike the weekend when many parents brought their children to the library to read, on workdays generally only retired elders would come.

Outside the city library, the bustling world was hard at work. Inside, the atmosphere was quiet, the rustling of turning pages lightly resounding.

By ten o’clock, the number of people arriving had gradually increased. Tang Mo sat before the computer, helping with every check-in. His left hand on the keyboard typed a book serial number without missing a beat while his right hand used the mouse to click “OK” on the screen. Having done this, he lifted his head and said, “It’s already been a month since you checked out the last book. Have you not yet finished reading it?”

Standing facing Tang Mo was a plainly dressed middle-aged woman. With a smile, she shook her head and said, “Not yet - my son is a slow reader. Is it a problem if the book isn’t returned for a month?”

Tang Mo said, “It’s free to borrow a book for a month, but there’s a fee for every day after that.” After a pause, he added, “In the case of lost books, the original price of the book will need to be compensated. This book cost eighty-two yuan.”

The middle-aged woman’s complexion changed. “How expensive…well, I’ll immediately go home and make that stinky boy quickly finish reading it, then.” Done speaking, she turned at once and left.

Tang Mo watched the middle-aged woman shoot off like a rocket, his elegant face showing no great expression, then took and swiped the next person’s library card.

“Not done reading? I think that book is lost,” a melodious girl’s voice sounded.

As Tang Mo swiped, he said, “It’s possible.”

The girl’s voice held a thread of disdain. “A library card costs fifty to open. That book costs eighty-two. I think she is not likely to come here again.”

“I also think she’s not likely to come again.” Director Wang, who was in charge of the front reception desk, passed by, clapping Tang Mo on the shoulder. “Xiao Tang, [1] you go have a look at that spiritual weirdo [2] and see what he’s up to. I just saw him walk to the corner. There’s no surveillance there. Something could happen.”

Tang Mo lightly nodded and headed in that direction.

E-City’s [3] library was situated in the city center and had three stories in total. The third story mostly consisted of humanities and history works. Tang Mo walked from the service desk to the southeast corner, passing thirty bookshelves or more and, after a bit of searching, discovered that ‘spiritual weirdo.’

In E-City in November, there was already somewhat of a nip in the air. Outside, the cold wind whistled, rattling the windows with a slamming sound, but the sunlight shining through the glass made the people inside feel nice and warm.

The spiritual weirdo was sitting cross legged on the floor beneath the window. Five or six books were strewn around him in a disorderly manner. He wasn’t reading. Instead, both hands were gripping his head, causing his originally messy hair to become even messier.

Tang Mo pursed his lips and began picking up the books with resignation. “Mr. Chen, our library has tables and chairs. You can sit there and read.”

“Read…read…read what book…”

Tang Mo had glanced just now at a brick-like book as he picked it up. “The Secret of the Disappearance of the Mayan Civilization?”

The spiritual weirdo suddenly lifted his head and stared with a pair of bloodshot eyes, his expression fearful. “Do you know the secret of the disappearance of the Mayan civilization?”

Tang Mo faintly hooked the corners of his lips. “I don’t know. Do you know?”

“I know, I certainly know.” All at once, the spiritual weirdo gained strength, sitting up quickly. “They offended god. Kukulkan, the god they believed in, was a false god, absolutely not real. They offended God, and so they all died. There is only one God, everlasting, and those who offend God must die!”

Tang Mo had heard this speech countless times and didn’t take it to heart. The city library was open to the public and saw all sorts of unusual people pass through. This spiritual weirdo, although strange, wasn’t mentally ill. They couldn’t lock the doors and refuse to let him in.

Tang Mo very casually said, “Where is the real god?”

The expression of the spiritual weirdo abruptly stiffened. Tang Mo smiled, carrying the books and turning to walk away.

He had asked the spiritual weirdo this line many times. The spiritual weirdo had begun frequently coming to the city library to read a year ago, acting abnormally all day long, every day using divination to find a good seat. But once the library staff asked him this question - who is god? - right away he would shut up, resembling a withered cabbage, and instantly leave the city library in a crestfallen manner.

Tang Mo turned to carry the books away. He had just turned his head for a moment, but heard a muffled and mysterious voice from behind him: “God is there.”

Tang Mo’s footsteps abruptly came to a halt.

He turned his body to look. The spiritual weirdo stood at the windowsill, pointing at that not-so-distant enormous black tower, floating above the city. Showing a broad smile, he said, “God is coming soon.”

Tang Mo: “...” Whatever makes you happy.

Tang Mo rode the bus that went through the city center on his way home from work every day. He sat in a window seat and wore headphones, listening to music. Just as one song finished, the sound of two high school girls conversing on the bus entered his ears.

“The Black Tower! I’m taking a photo.”

“You’ll still take a photo? What kind of photo can you take of this thing? Nowadays nobody cares, okay?”

“Just take it! I’ll post it to my Moments and title it ‘Black Tower Day Trip,’ okay.”

“Nobody will like it [4]. Ai, the man sitting at that window is very handsome! You’re better off taking a photo of him. A lot of people will definitely like it. He might even be as good as an internet celebrity. Call it… ‘Bus Brother!’ You quickly take a picture!”

As the next song’s sound rose, Tang Mo lifted his right hand without batting an eye, obstructing his face, and turned his head to look out the window, having no care for those two high school girls. His line of sight slightly lifted, looking toward the enormous black tower floating above E-City.

Disappearing and appearing between the gaps in the city’s skyscrapers, the black tower stretched tall and lofty into the sky. The tower was shaped like a four-sided triangle and resembled an Egyptian pyramid, but it wasn’t golden. It was black. Its base stretched across the entirety of E-City’s center, covering nearly the whole city. Moonlight coldly passed through the black tower’s body, illuminating the ground without any obstruction.

Half a year ago, the tower suddenly appeared in E-City’s center. On that day, Tang Mo had just arrived at the city library for work. He’d left hastily in the morning and hadn’t seen the news. In the streets, E-City was bursting with the news.

The city bus didn’t come and not even a taxi could be flagged down.

All the cars were driving wildly toward the city center. Tang Mo still wasn’t fully awake and wasn’t aware of the situation. When an opportunity to lift his head to look came, at the sight of the tremendous shape of the black tower, all sleepy thoughts instantly disappeared.

Tang Mo almost thought it was now 2012 and they were on the verge of the end of the world. How could there be such a large thing? Yesterday evening when he got off work, there was still nothing there. How could it suddenly appear today?

Initially, Tang Mo thought this might be something built by the government. At that time, people had been boasting online that the country’s infrastructure was very strong, enough to turn foreigners’ eyes red with envy. That was until, after much difficulty, he arrived by taxi at the city center, stopped among the throng of people, and lifted his head to look: The tower was completely suspended in the sky.

Completely suspended! At least 100 meters up! How could humanity possibly have made a mid-air building?

The city center’s large LED screen was by chance broadcasting the news: “At eight o’clock in the morning Beijing time, 1,021 strange black towers appeared across the country in every major city and above the ocean. According to reports, Black Towers simultaneously appeared globally on a large scale. Everyone is asked not to panic. The government has already formed the relevant department to investigate the Black Tower event. We invited Professor Luo of Beijing University’s Physics Department to explain the Black Tower event’s relevant questions. We go now to Professor Luo…”

End! Of! The! World!

Everyone panicked. For two days, Tang Mo didn’t go to work. Countless people drove to the countryside to escape, believing that the further they were from that Black Tower, the better. However, the country’s stability was quite good. Three days later, Tang Mo received a notice to continue to go to work. After one week, many people saw that the Black Tower had no sign of activity and successively returned.

Now, half a year later, these Black Towers had already completely turned into tourist attractions.

For the first several months, people wearing white lab coats came every day to the area beneath the Black Tower, moving in large instruments and checking who knows what. Now they basically only came to check once every three days. The shops in the area near the Black Tower had also resumed business.

Tang Mo supported his chin with one hand and gazed serenely up at the Black Tower. Then the bus turned a bend and the Black Tower was left behind, vanishing from sight.

[TOC] [NEXT]

Translation notes:

[1] 'Xiao' is an affectionate nickname meaning little. It doesn't translate well since in English an adult man calling another adult man 'little' can be considered blatant provocation so I will just leave it like this. The Xiao in Xiao Zhao is the same. Zhao is her family name.

[2] ...this is a hard one to translate I think... the raw is 神棍... I get the sense that it's kind of like someone who's "new age" but there's not really a good word for it in English that doesn't have specifically Christian overtones. (Zealot??? That makes me think of the crusades... lmao...) If anyone has a better recommendation, let me know.

[3] The MTL and other translations directly name the city (Suzhou) but it's E-City in the book. I'm not sure if this is a difference between the print and web versions or if there's some cultural context I'm not getting. I'm going to leave it as E-City for now, though.

[4] As in, 'liking' a post on social media. I originally translated it as 'upvoting' but this is way too Reddit-specific in English.

[mariacallous]

Sam Altman, who as CEO of OpenAI gave the world ChatGPT and became one of the most influential people in technology, has departed the company after losing the confidence of its board.

A company statement says that a review “concluded that he was not consistently candid in his communications with the board, hindering its ability to exercise its responsibilities.” Mira Murati, previously OpenAI’s chief technology officer, was appointed interim CEO while OpenAI searches for a full-time replacement, the statement says.

Altman did not respond to a request for comment. OpenAI declined to comment.

The announcement said that Greg Brockman, who cofounded OpenAI with Altman alongside leading names in AI and technology including Elon Musk, would also step down from his role as chair of the company’s board.

No reason was given for Brockman’s change in position but he announced that he had resigned from the company several hours after the company's statement. He shared an email sent to OpenAI staff on X. “I’m super proud of what we’ve all built since starting in my apartment 8 years ago," the email said. "We’ve been through tough and great times together, accomplishing so much despite all the reasons it should have been impossible. But based on today’s news, I quit.”

An investor in OpenAI who spoke anonymously because they did not have full details of the board's concerns said its statement suggested the gravity of Altman's alleged lack of candor was significant and it's possible the changeover could lead to employees heading elsewhere. OpenAI and AI rivals such as Google and Meta have intensified their competition for AI talent since ChatGPT's debut last year.

The surprising capabilities of ChatGPT, such as solving complex puzzles and handling questions that appear to require human-like reasoning, stunned AI researchers, amazed the public, and triggered an arms race among big tech companies to build more powerful AI. The bot’s success turned Altman into a tech celebrity, consulted by world leaders on the future path of AI technology.

Altman appeared yesterday at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in San Francisco, telling hundreds of business and government leaders that AI systems could solve humanity's most-pressing problems if their development were pursued responsibly.

“We're on a path to self-destruction as a species right now,” he said, sitting alongside executives from Meta and Google. “We need new technology if we want to flourish for tens, hundreds of thousands, and millions of years more.”

Altman acknowledged that success wasn’t certain, but he expressed confidence that AI would ultimately be beneficial, describing the technology as his life's work, from childhood. “This will be the most transformative and beneficial technology humanity has yet invented,” he said.

OpenAI was founded in 2015 as a nonprofit focused on safely developing AI more intelligent than humans. It was funded by Musk and others, including Peter Thiel and LinkedIn cofounder Reid Hoffman.

OpenAI became a for-profit company in 2019, as the cost of building and training advanced AI became challenging. It struck a partnership with Microsoft in 2019 that saw the software giant invest a billion dollars and provide cloud computing power for training OpenAI’s algorithms. This year Microsoft agreed to invest a further $10 billion into OpenAI.

OpenAI developed a number of cutting-edge AI projects in the years after its creation, but the introduction of ChatGPT in November 2022 quickly turned the company into one of the most important businesses on earth.

Microsoft was given a brief heads up about OpenAI's announcement of management changes today, according to a person familiar with the matter speaking on the condition of anonymity. They declined to say what Microsoft was told about the OpenAI board's justifications.

Microsoft later posted a statement from CEO Satya Nadella saying that the company is committed to its partnership with OpenAI and to Murati and her team. “Together, we will continue to deliver the meaningful benefits of this technology to the world,” Nadella's statement says.

[onlythebravest]

Hi!!! For the writing meme - 18, 39, 72 ☺️

hii!! and thank you!!

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

I do it when it randomly comes to me or in a panic just before posting it 😂 and my titles used to be only lyrics, but nowadays I try to come up with them myself. take a line directly from the fic or something that fits the content/vibe

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

this is from my jdtz touch starved au that I’ve recently started half-working on, but I have what I think the start of the fic will look like written,

Trevor knows something isnt right already during pre-season, but he ignores it, pushes through. It’s probably just that he’s out of shape, training with the team isn’t like training on your own during off season. He’s sure it’ll get better soon.

Trevor knows something is most likely wrong by late October, but he ignores it, pushes through. It’s probably just that he isn’t used to the schedule, the flying around and playing games regularly. He’s sure it’ll get better soon.

Trevor knows something is definitely wrong by mid November, but he ignores is, pushes through. He’s out of excuses though, he’s starting to doubt it’ll get better soon.

It’s only when November reaches its end that he finally admits defeat and seeks out a trainer/doctor after training, confessing that something is wrong and has most likely been since pre-season. He gets disapproved looks that he ignores, he gets a scolding that he tunes out, he gets his blood drawn and his body examined and told to return tomorrow after training.

I did also just write this for another game that I’m very tempted to expand on, but that’s not technically a wip

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

it depends on the kind of fic, but it’s generally as it will be read. or it’s like that when I sit with the doc in front of me on the computer. I can write incomplete bits and pieces that I’ll fit into the fic later on my phone. I can have important conversations written as purely dialogue on my phone long before I reach that scene. so both kinds?

get to know the fic writer (or just give me a number between 1-77)

[madebycoffee]

aaaaaaa

So I wanna say in like... early November when I agreed to the 23 straight days of pet sitting was when I decided upon upgrading my computer situation with the money I made from it. Right now I have a Lenovo y70 touch laptop which works fine but since it's 20 pounds or so I don't really use it as a laptop. (Plus the wireless internet is so bad in my room that an ethernet cable was put in lol)

Anyway the point is I've been thinking about this new computer I was going to get myself for about 3 months now. Planning out how i want it to be set up (my two main things were I want a dual monitor setup and a disc drive so I can watch movies we own on DVD!!!). Doing a little bit of research into desks, keyboards, speakers, ALL that. AND toDAY parts of the tower started arriving. My dad (who is somewhat in charge of it all as he has worked in tech my whole life and built his computer too) thinks it'll be up and running this WEEKEND even which is wILD. I was hoping to get it all done this month but omg it actually might happen. I'm so beyond excited and I can't believe after months of thinking about it it's actually happeningggg aaaaaaaa 🥳🥳🥳

[lennoxlorian]

GETTING THROUGH THE FIRST SHIT DRAFT

It’s been a few days since I finished the first shit draft (yay!) and I thought I was going to take a small break and then start up at the beginning of September with the editing and revising but… I’m on such a high that I’ve already begun. At least, in my head.

Anyway, I didn’t want to leave my blog inactive whilst on this break and thought I’d give out tips that helped me get through writing the first shit draft. The tips actually start from when I did NaNoWriMo last November. I applied them with this draft and accomplished it.

So, here it is. This is simply just getting through the draft. Having a beginning, middle and end because that’s what most of us struggle with. Right?

Keep moving forward. No matter what. Don’t worry about the details. Don’t worry about changing something, even if a scene seems really long or even dialogue heavy. Don’t waste time thinking about how to change a small detail that you will probably end up not using anyway. Just make a note of it and keep pushing forward.

An outline helps. Not everyone has an outline but what helped me was that I had a pretty detailed outline that helped me keep my story in the direction it needed to go. It doesn’t have to be as detailed as mine was. You could simply have an action breakdown, listing the action in the order in which they happen. This can produce better results than just winging it and hoping that your characters end up where you want them to go.

JUST WRITE. Simple as that. But write as if no one will ever read it. Don’t get caught up with how you think your novel should sound or even how you want your novel to sound. Just write it because it will create a voice on it’s own. YOUR voice and that’s pretty damn awesome. Putting myself in that mindset while writing my first shit draft took away all the inhibitions and self-doubt that I had and it created some of my best work.

Over write. This was mainly for NaNoWriMo but I challenged myself with my own version of NaNoWriMo. Basically, I had a goal to write my novel in three months with a goal of 1700 words a day. And as much as we would like to sit in front my computer everyday for three months and write, truth is we have lives and responsibilities that oftentimes take us away from our computers. Sometimes for even a whole day. Don’t worry, I will not rehash my moving ordeal. But yikes! Life happens. So over write. Write more than your daily word target. Especially, when you have the extra time. This way you can accomplish your goal.

Stick with it. If you get #PlotStuck don’t just give up. What helped me with writing was to write chronically. It forced me to work through my writer’s block or whatever it is you want to call it. Some may say to skip over it and come back later but that’s how I developed the habit of not finishing my novels. For me, waiting until I got over that barrier - whether it was taking a break or a walk or reading or just letting my brain breathe for a while - got me through several of those hurdles. Either way, if you’re serious about writing, you have to get through it because writing is not easy and it won’t be the first time you’ll be #PlotStuck. Trust me.

These are some things that helped me write and finish my first shit draft. They may not work for everyone so take what you can and leave what you can’t. These aren’t the only tips I have but just the ones I have at the moment. I’ll be sharing more of those tips when they come to me. Or if you have a different question about my writing or my process or the blog or even my first shit draft, just ask me!

[adamwatchesmovies]

The 13th Friday (2017)

To call The 13th Friday "a movie" strains the definition of the word. Only writer/director/producer Justin Price could tell you what happens in this film. It makes no sense and even if it did, most people wouldn’t have the willpower to make past a few minutes’ worth of footage.

“Somewhere in Texas is a house said to be so haunted that a church was built on the property and the family that lived in the house was never found”.

…What?

Those were my thoughts as the pre-title card appeared. That sentence gives you an idea of what we're in for. I can’t make heads or tails of it. Let me give you a favour and properly explain what The 13th Friday is “about”.

A group of friends are partying at a supposedly haunted house. Inside, one of them becomes possessed after opening a demonic puzzle box. They learn they must sacrifice 13 people - one each month - to lift the curse that now falls upon them.

Now we sort of know what to expect but the title feels like a misnomer. Don't worry, this will be rectified an hour in. At that point, we finally get some direction from a character - a drug dealer - who has supposedly encountered this curse before. Until then, you have to sit through performances so agonizing you can only conclude that all the actors were friends of the director or cast for their chest size rather than their talent. And before you get too excited, no there is no nudity in this movie.

It’s been a year since that fateful night (or maybe it’s less, the characters’ dialogue makes this disputable) when Allison (Lisa May) develops soe second-thoughts about this whole “murdering people to save ourselves” business. Unfortunately, she and her friends have lured twelve people to an underground cavern to be devoured by demons. As they have to do this once a month, it means her remorse is coming in after a whole year of killings. They're almost done. Her friends have no desire to stop now. When they try to make her the next victim, she escapes and the demons start going after everyone. Cue the horrendous special effects. We’re talking unconvincing to the point that you'll wonder if they weren’t meant to be funny. In one scene, a character stands in the middle of traffic and is “suddenly” struck. Except you can clearly tell that she sees the vehicle coming and that the car is driving in the lane BEHIND her. Computer effects are used to try and make you believe otherwise.

There’s so much wrong with this movie you could write a novel about it. The supposedly abandonned, haunted home the friends visit at the beginning has a meticulously mown lawn and the inside is not only furnished; it’s spotless. The plot and characters are so poorly established you have no idea what’s happening even before the curse's inconsistent rules. It is impossible to determine who the protagonist is, how many people the demons are after or how to break the curse. People die BEFORE the puzzle box is opened but we’re never told why. Then, the rules are suddenly re-written, as if someone suddenly remembered the title.

Down to the last minute, The 13th Friday finds a way to botch every aspect of filmmaking. The ending makes no sense and then, it just stops. Cut to credits. Even those, it can’t manage to do properly, as some of the names/titles are covered up with a plea from the filmmakers to find them on Facebook. I did, but considering they haven’t posted anything since 2016, I doubt my comment on the page will lead anywhere.

The 13th Friday is among the worst films I’ve ever seen. This isn’t something I say lightly. There isn’t a single aspect of this production done right. It’s appalling. No one but those with the lowest of low standards could even sit through it, much less have a good time. (November 13, 2020)