#this has sat in my drafts for MONTHS

[muppet-hell]

Me? Posting another Encore edit? Insane but yeah

[lokimobius]

[angelmichelangelo]

i love all variations of b-team but this specific b-team just hits different yknow

[phosphorus-noodles]

happy yaoi day. i'm insane about them

un-overlay and unshaded versions too bc i do NOT think i shaded it correctly </3

[shsl-heck]

One thing that's had me thinking about Amy lately, is the tension between disgust and desire. She is horrified by the immensity of her desire for Victoria, but the shame and guilt over it can only ever make it worse. Fear and arousal, disgust and desire, all of them bleed into each other (we see this constantly in both porn and horror). It's like she has this splinter at the core of her being and she either cant realize or wont accept that the more and more she digs for it to try to get it out, the deeper she's driving it into herself. She cannot remove this without help from someone else. (Coincidentally, not being able to recognize that her attempts to do/be what she's supposed to are only making things worse is also what leads to the Enwretchening)

I'm aware there's a reading of Worm in which Amy's attraction to Victoria is purely an expression of a kind of morality focused ocd, but I personally think that's less interesting. She definitely experiences some level of that (the urge to fuck up a baby she's healing followed by disgust with herself is like a perfect example of an intrusive thought associated with that brand of ocd), but I think this is a case of *and* rather than *or*. My reading of Amy is that of a deeply lonely and emotionally neglected child clinging to the one person in her life that gives her any form of affection, whose attachment only gets increasingly complicated as she starts to grow up and realizes she is attracted to women.

She has never been treated as part of the family, has always felt on some level that she's only playing at being a sister to Victoria, and she is dealing with that during a stage of her life that is turbulent at best for even people raised in a healthy functional environment. There is a broad cultural taboo around sex and desire, but there's a special sort of self-loathing and fear that you're somehow predatory for finding someone attractive that a lot of queer people experience due to the stigma surrounding their sexuality and/or gender. Homoeroticism and attraction is seen as disgusting and fundamentally wrong by society no matter what. It is especially disastrous for Amy because even though she's never been able to see herself as Victoria's sister, she knows she's supposed to, and that adds a whole new layer of guilt and shame to even a passing thought about Victoria being attractive.

Then she triggers. Suddenly she not only has to pretend to be Amy Dallon the well behaved unintrusive family member, she has to be Panacea, the girl who performs miracles. She doesn't even have a secret identity to fall back on for privacy because of New Wave's gimmick. Any resentment about her role, or desire to live a normal life become more proof that she is a sick, evil person; a parasite who has wormed her way into the Good and Heroic Dallon-Pelham family and is eating away at them from the inside-out.

Even as it forces her to repress more and more of herself, Panacea also offers Amy what is seemingly her only chance to be Good like her family. Healing people isn't just something she has to do in order to avoid being a terrible person, but also how she can atone for everything else that's Bad about her. Saving people is a way to try to purge herself of the desire for Victoria, and to prove that she can be a Dallon in more than name.

Like, as awful and lesbophobic as Wildbow's handling of Amy was, there is something deeply compelling and even relatable about her to me. She perfectly captures an emotional state that I've struggled (and failed) to explain as I wrote and rewrote this post. It's the hunger, the guilt, the shame, the fear, the loneliness that settles on your skin like frost as a child when you accept that there must be something wrong with you, because if there wasn't then you wouldn't have to try so hard to be good.

[ahalliance]

my roman empire is that one moment smth smth qsmp lore happened and étoiles responded to a chat message by saying smth along the lines of “bah baghera me fait pas confiance” and laughed tersely but i can’t remember when that fucking happened and maybe i hallucinated it . but i need to try and find it again . to satiate my qetoiles qbagz relationship and larger qfrench messy family dynamic illness

[nettaraxy]

something something reflection pun

[casket-girlie]

I cojum on her dip til she tally my hall

[girlmikeyway]

dallon and breezy are milf4milf. hello

[blurrypxls]

Recreated Leigh, one of my long lost legacy sims from 2015, and she’s got a new lease of life going for her in the Griffinverse! 

[avocant]

feel free to rb for larger sample size, also feel free to say where you're from in the tags if you want!

[baishouqijia]

✧ ―   𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍. rationale

the regrator has always sought control over the odds. zhiyuan was born to a single mother, a tale as old as time ; born destitute with only dreams of better. with his mother's health failing and sparse work running dry, they were desperate, and her only hope of a better life was gambling what little they had. he watched, blearily through near-blindness, any and all mora that passed through her hands be squandered away in the hopes of "winning big" . . . if she could just have a lucky dice roll ― naturally, he came to despise luck.

to pantalone, luck is a fool's game ; a faceless cruelty that is invulnerable to manipulation. he'd heard it all his life: lucky enough to be born into wealth, lucky enough to obtain a vision, lucky enough survive. as if these things happened by chance and not a conscious string of decisions. luck is a concept he laughs in the face of ; everything happens for a reason, because of a decision, because of a pattern, because of variables. to zhiyuan, there is no such thing as luck, just numbers and probability ― two factors that can always be manipulated by the right hand. thus, he sought to always manipulate the odds, through whatever means necessary. pantalone does not leave anything to the hands of fate.

[lady-of-swag]

Saving this for the next time somebody asks me what kind of music I listen to and my brain suddenly forgets every song I've ever heard.

[loverboydotcom]

wrote out a whole thing about imagining as part of my writing process and how much of my first drafting is actually done internally but it sounded kind of obnoxious accidentally like “ummm guys well everything in my head is so vivid 👍” which i don’t think me experiencing writing in my head vividly is special it’s just what my brain does 👍 but anyway how much of a first draft is a first draft when i will write a passage in word but that passage has lived in my head for weeks sometimes months mostly written out because i will write out scenes in my head and just let them marinate up there and somehow I don’t forget it

[tokkias]

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut: 🌟 🌟

fanfic directors cut . always open

indiscreet

for a lot of my requests it can take me a while to get around to it but this one plagued me so hard that i got it done in mere days after recieving it. i was working on heartstrings when i got it and so i spent the last part of that fic literally speeding through so i would be able to get to write this one

this was my first time writing wendy and carla - i had a bit of experience with happy, gray and erza from i don't want to be your friend (i want to kiss your lips) but i generally don't write non-nalu characters even though i really enjoy doing it, so this was a fun change of pace because it's a pov i've never written before

is it technically the best thing i've ever written? no, far from it. there's a lot of mistakes and the pacing is kind of weird, but i don't even care about that because this is such a fun fic to go back and reread for me

Wendy had been so excited at the prospect of being helpful to the rest of her team that she hadn’t even considered that it might be polite to knock, and immediately her hands shot up to cover her eyes in a poor attempt to pretend that she hadn’t seen anything. While the sound of the door opening may have gone under the radar, the terrified squeal of their young teammate caught the pair's attention quickly, and Lucy instinctively shoved Natsu off of her and covered her chest with her arms, despite being fully clothed.

jumping right in with things that made me commit tiny laugh. they're not doing anything dirty (yet), but wendy and lucy both freaking out as if she had walked in on them getting nasty was put in there just because i thought it was funny, which is a running trend in this fic. wendy is simply cursed to accidentally walk in on them having their moments, and lucy is so used to people seeing her naked that she intrinstically moves to cover herself even when she's not naked, probably because she anticipated being naked later on

"I think we should just tell her," Natsu said, flopping backwards onto the mattress, perhaps more casually than the situation called for. "Obviously I was going to tell her!" Lucy replied as she gave him a firm whack to his shoulder. "We have something we want to talk to you about," she said, as calmly as she could muster. "I-I know what sex is!" Wendy managed to stutter out, not wanting to put any of them through the perhaps traumatic experience of giving her The Talk.

this was the first thing i wrote for this fic because again. made me laugh. wendy's panicking so much about what she just walked in on that her first thought is oh my god they're going to give me the sex talk

"So? Are they coming or not?" Gray asked as he saw Wendy and Happy approach. "Um… no I don’t think so…" Wendy replied. "You don’t think so?" Erza inquired. Immediately realising her mistake, Wendy began to panic, scrambling to figure out the right words to ease Erza’s suspicions. "No-! I mean-" "They’re not hungry," Happy butted in, much to Wendy’s relief and the rest of the team's confusion. "Is everything okay, Wendy? You look a bit flustered," Erza commented, raising an eyebrow. She had truly thought that she was doing a good job of hiding it, but apparently it wasn’t good enough, and having Erza point it out only served to make her panic rise to the surface even more. "Um, yeah!" She tried to reassure in a poor attempt to divert the conversation. "I think she’s just disappointed that Natsu and Lucy aren’t coming with us, right Wendy?" Happy added casually.

happy is the true star of the show here. he's been on this for months now and while i think it's kind of popular thought that happy would need to be bribed into silence i sort of don't agree with that narrative? happy is natsu's best buddy and he loves him and lucy sooo much even if he's a pain in their ass sometimes. if they really did want him to hide it from everyone, he would, and it gives him a chance to fuck with everyone else which he deeply enjoys

"Unusual for Natsu to pass on food, wouldn’t you agree, Happy?" Erza asked, turning her attention to the exceed. "No, I wouldn’t," he blatantly lied in response, hoping to gaslight Erza into turning her attention somewhere else.

+1 to parts that make me fucking laugh. it's just dumb and stupid. happy is trying to see how much he can fuck with erza and she's just not having any of it. erza knows how to pick her battles and she knows that happy is just Like This sometimes so she's going to be confused but she's too hungry to put any effort into questioning why he's being like this

"You are acting awfully weird, child." She commented. "What on earth happened in there that’s got you all worked up?" "It must be Lucy’s weirdness rubbing off on her," Happy suggested. Wendy let out a nervous laugh as she realised just how hard it was going to be to hide this secret from her best friend and keep the promise she had made. "Oh, it’s really nothing," she reassured. "Why don’t we catch up with Erza and Gray? Some food sounds really good right about now." "If you say so…"  Carla replied, still not totally convinced but not suspicious enough to press any further.

i struggled a lot with carla because i didn't know what to do with her. i couldn't leave her out because it's a wendy focused fic, but i don't like carla all that much so i didn't want to spend too much time writing her in. this was my attempt at balancing the two of them and i think i did a pretty good job at doing that and keeping her in character

"Where are those two?" Gray questioned, glancing over to the clock to see that they were already a few minutes past their designated meeting time. "They’ve been late for every job we’ve taken for the past two months." "I’ll go fetch them then," Erza offered. "No!" Wendy cried out, earning her a surprised look from her teammates. "I- It’s just that…" "Lucy’s cranky because Natsu was being a pain in her ass this morning," Happy chimed in. "What did he do?" Erza inquired. "Oh, well, you know how he is," Happy replied vaguely. "Yes, I do," she said, nodding her head in agreement. "Well, I suppose Lucy has earned a late start for dealing with him all night. I’ll have to put Natsu in his place when they arrive."

vague allusion to the fact that they've been dating for way longer than necessary to hide it

poor wendy trying really hard to help them out without giving them away but she's not the best liar so she's just making herself suspicious in the process but happy comes in with the save, real mvp

again, just silly stupid parts that make me laugh. erza does not even take a moment to question it because it is so believable that natsu would be a pain in lucy's ass just because That's What He's Like, she doesn't need specifics

"Yes, I’m pleased that you both made it," Erza added. "But I’m not pleased to hear you’ve been making things difficult for Lucy." "What? What did I do?" He asked, whipping his head over to his partner, who looked just as confused as he was before realising that this was just the cover that Wendy and Happy had set up for him. "Yeah, what did you do, Natsu?" Lucy asked, deciding to play along. "I don’t know!" He cried, still a little slow to catch on. "I guess I used your hand lotion?" "You’ve been using my hand lotion?" Lucy asked, her face dropping, no longer happy to play along. "Natsu! That’s expensive!" She whined. "Yeah, well, it smells nice and it makes my hands soft," he ardently defended. What had begun as merely playing along had devolved into a full-on squabble, and Wendy couldn’t help but giggle slightly at how they were behaving exactly like an old married couple. "Well, if I had known it was such a contentious topic, I wouldn’t have brought it up," Erza commented, scratching her head slightly in confusion at the absurdity of it all.

erza is really thinking that she was helping out by telling natsu off but she's just caused a typical natsu and lucy squabble because there was no natsu being a pain in her ass (unless- *gets shot*)

i don't remember why i picked this for them to argue about? i think it was like, harmless enough that they're not going to actually fight about it, but it's enough that lucy's going to be annoyed and i mean. i headcanon that natsu's always using her soaps and shampoos so why stop at lotions? i imagine he likes the way it makes his hands feel and he'll totally just put his hands on lucy's face and be like. "look. soft."

Walking along the streets with Lucy, Wendy felt she could let out a sigh of relief. It had only been a day, but the pressure of keeping a secret so big was already beginning to weigh on her, so finally being around someone who was also in on it was a nice break. "Hey Lucy? Is it okay if I ask you something?" With her attention caught, Lucy’s gaze flicked over to Wendy before she replied. "Sure, anything." "Why haven’t you told anyone else that you and Natsu are dating?" She asked. Lucy was quiet for a moment as the gears turned in her head while she searched for the right words to explain their reasons. "Because… things are kind of new with us, and we just want to figure things out on our own first before we tell anyone."

i knew i probably had to give a reason for why they're hiding it at some point and i also wanted to give wendy a moment alone with lucy or natsu or happy or a combination of them, just to take a weight off of her shoulders lol. those were combined into this scene

i think that while natsu would be pretty gung ho about telling everyone that they're dating immediately, lucy is more reserved about it because she knows what could happen to both their relationship and the relationship they have with others if they happened to maybe date and break up (not that it would happen, but lucy is wary)

She understood why they had chosen to do that, but she also couldn’t help but feel a slight irony in it all. The group dynamic hadn’t changed in the slightest because their transition from friends to something more had been so subtle that she may not have noticed it if she hadn’t accidentally walked in on them swapping spit.

the whole basis for this fic was the idea that wendy now looks on their relationship through a new lens but nothing has changed. natsu and lucy are still the exact same because they've always loved each other so deeply. the change from platonic love to romantic love is a really subtle change when they're not straight up making out in public because they're still just best friends who are a little touchy feely

The walk across town went by uneventfully, but there was something about knowing—about being in on the secret—that had resulted in Wendy seeing Natsu and Lucy’s relationship with new eyes. Nothing had changed about the way they interacted with each other, but now that she knew the context of their relationship, she couldn’t help but see the romance in everything they did together. Suddenly she was hyperaware of how Natsu seemingly had to have his hands on Lucy at all times, and how all those touches that she had always thought were innocent, friendly gestures now held more meaning to them.

wendy is us frrrrrr. idk i don't feel like i have anything to elaborate on here. i was very literal and direct with my intentions. nalu is in love and it's not subtle to strangers, but to the people they know, they've just always been like this. im sure after a long time of lucy insisting that they're not dating they probably just assumed that if they weren't together by now it would probably never happen

Before she could even think of approaching Natsu to treat his wound, Lucy threw herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and holding onto him like her life depended on it, and Natsu responded with equal enthusiasm. Her hand rested gently on his jaw, and for a second, Wendy thought she was going to lean in for a kiss. Instead, but just as tender, she nestled into his chest, arms holding him close as he tucked her under his chin and it looked like a perfect fit. Wendy tried to turn her attention elsewhere and give the pair some privacy, but she couldn’t help eavesdropping now that her ears were tuned in to their conversation. "I’m so glad you’re safe," Lucy murmured into his chest. "Me too," Natsu replied as he rubbed soothing circles into her back. The two of them sat in silence for a few moments, content to find comfort in each other’s presence, until Natsu spoke up again. "I love you," he mumbled, his voice muffled in her hair but clear as day to Wendy. "I love you too," Lucy responded, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

okay well are they even trying to hide it at this point?

with this i knew i wanted them to say i love you. we've established they have a physical relationship but this is showing that it's going beyond that and showing (or telling, i suppose) that they are in love with each other.

i wasn't sure who was going to initiate at first. lucy was the obvious choice, she's the words girl and natsu is the actions guy but in the end that's why i went with natsu. i think natsu saying it first sort of packs a punch that you don't get when lucy initiates because she's usually the romantic of the two

In response to her weird behaviour, Carla placed her hands on her hips and let out a sigh. "What is going on with you, Wendy?" She demanded to know. "Wh-what���s going on with me?" She replied, trying to act innocent and pretend she had no clue what she was referring to. "You’ve been acting all skittish as of late, and you won’t even tell me why," Carla reprimanded. "What are you talking about?" She nervously laughed, "I’m just nervous about the train ride is all." "It’s not kind to lie, child," Carla replied, "and it’s even worse to keep secrets."

if anyone was going to make wendy crack, it was going to be carla. poor wendy doesn't like to lie and especially doesn't like to lie to carla. originally i was going to have it be erza confront her because i just didn't want to write carla but it was just the choice that made the most sense. sigh.

"N-Natsu and Lucy are dating!" Wendy blurted out before slapping her hand over her mouth, immediately realising her mistake. "Excuse me?"  Erza said, clearly taken aback by the look on her face. "N-no! Oh gosh, I shouldn’t have said that…" she murmured, "I was supposed to keep it a secret, but now I’ve just gone and ruined everything." Just as she was about to beg them not to mention it, Natsu, Lucy, and Happy made their entrance, and immediately Erza stepped in to ruin her plan of getting them to keep quiet about it. "You and Natsu are dating?" Erza asked, her tone more accusatory than questioning. "What?" Lucy asked, taken aback by the sudden question.

i think if wendy had told erza not to tell anyone, she would have made her feel much better about her inability to keep secrets because if her acting skills are any indication, erza is even worse. unfortunately erza doesn't give her any time before practically accusing natsu and lucy of dating which again, i think is really funny

"You know you’ve cuffed yourself with a moron, right Lucy?" Gray asked, not giving up an opportunity to take a jab at Natsu. "Hey! How ‘bout you say that to my face!" Natsu yelled at him, suddenly forgetting any of what had just occurred, much more occupied with defending his pride. "I will! You’re a goddamned moron!" Gray retorted.

gray will never pass up the chance to roast natsu and neither will i

"Everything okay, Wendy?" Lucy asked, noticing the way her gaze seemed to be cast to the ground. "I um… I thought you guys would be more upset," Wendy revealed, "you know… with me." "Why would we be upset?" she replied. "Because you said you trusted me, and I broke my promise…" Wendy murmured. "Ya can’t always keep every promise you make," Natsu shrugged, "‘sides, it’s not the worst promise you could have broken." "So you’re not mad?" "Of course we’re not mad," Lucy assured.

there was no way that either of them could ever be mad at wendy for literally anything. they both know that she did her best even if she caved so, so easy. poor wendy is so convinced they're going to be upset with her but they both know there's no point in being upset about it because it's in the past now and natsu got to punch gray in the aftermath of it so he's fine with that outcome

"We fought a group of like fifty bandits," he exaggerated, which was met with an eyeroll from Lucy as she sipped on the drink Mira had passed over to her. "The guys tried to catch us off guard, but I caught ‘em before they could get the jump on us, one of them tried to stab me in the head, Lucy and I are dating, and we got the full reward." Wendy choked on her drink slightly, head whipping back around to where Natsu had been relaying the story of their job to see if she had heard him right, and based on the gobsmacked faces of everyone around them, she could only assume she had. "I’m sorry, what was that middle part?" Mira asked, caught off guard by the sudden announcement. "One of them tried to stab me in the head," he repeated, gesturing towards the superficial wound that Wendy had stitched up after the fight. "Natsu and I are dating," Lucy clarified for him.

added this purely for my own amusement. natsu would just be so casual about it because he doesn't see a big deal with it and everyone else is so caught off guard by it

i imagine that they probably talked about it beforehand and were like. yeah wendy's not keeping this for more than a day, better we tell everyone now than keep all that pressure on her

"That’s okay," Lucy hummed before letting them fall into a comfortable silence as they watched the celebration unfold into a classic Fairy Tail brawl right in front of their eyes. "I think your timing was just right," she said, turning her attention back to Wendy. "I was scared that things might change if everyone knew, but you showed me that maybe that doesn’t have to be a bad thing."

i like to focus on change (or lack thereof) a lot in my nalu fics because i love exploring the way their relationship changes when they get together, and a lot of the time that's not a lot

here lucy is more worried about the external change. they've been dating long enough that she's comfortable in the way her relationship is with natsu, they're still best friends but with a splash dash of kissing and romance, but she's worried about the way that change will be perceived by others and how that changes the way people feel about or act around them. i think that type of change is inevitable, but that's a bit more nuanced than what i wanted to get into with this fic. for the most part things stay the same. to everyone else they're still going to be natsu and lucy, they're just a little more mushy now

[daemonoferror]

Note for later: Tabitha says "I think I would know if our family had a history of imprisoning human beings in the Estate"