#this is a little disorganized but I am GRIPPED by this

[firehose118]

Okay even after writing this I’m still thinking about the importance of Tommy calling Buck Evan.

Names are identities. Names can be armor or they can be intimate (if you want a deeper exploration of this in fiction, please watch Black Sails). A chosen identity can be especially important as a way to control how you are viewed by others.

He goes by Buck because that’s what they called him in the academy. “Buck” is a firefighter, and as we know being a firefighter is his whole reason for living (as evidenced by the cursed lawsuit arc). He could have gone back to “Evan” when he joined the 118, but he introduced himself as “Buck” very intentionally. It was a reinvention, a shedding of his past.

Evan is a name that he associates with his parents, and his parents are so much of the reason why it took him so long to understand who he is fundamentally. Evan is who he was as a child. Evan is his parents’ unwanted son, the name they’d say like a curse whenever he did something stupid to get their attention. He hates being called Evan because his parents yelled it at him so many times that the very sound of it feels like a scold.

As others have pointed out, he probably got flustered and introduced himself to Tommy as Evan Buckley before correcting himself and saying Buck. But Tommy latched on to that and kept calling him Evan. It doesn’t seem like Buck corrected him. He doesn’t mind the name in Tommy’s mouth.

Tommy isn’t talking to Buck-the-firefighter. He’s talking to Evan-the-man. When Tommy says “Evan” he’s saying, “I see the you that is underneath the person you project out into the world. I see the you that you really are and I will call you by your name.”

There’s something deeply intimate there. Buck was a womanizer (which, he wasn’t, but that’s another post). Evan is queer. Tommy sees the Evan that Buck has been suppressing for so long—the one he didn’t even know was there—and he brings that person to the surface. He speaks to the heart of him directly.

Think about how few times people call him “Evan” throughout the series. Maddie uses that name when she hasn’t even spoken to him in three years. Evan is her little brother. She starts calling him Buck when she gets to know him as a man, not a little boy. She respects that he is a different person now than he was when she last saw him. She understands the difference.

Eddie calls him Evan exactly once, as far as I can remember, and that was very intentional on his part. When he sat on that hospital bed and said “Because, Evan,” Eddie needed him to listen, needed him to understand how important what he was saying is. Eddie understands the power of calling him Evan, understands he needs to address a fundamentally different part of this man to get him to understand how important he is to Eddie. To Chris. At all.

One thing I haven’t personally seen discussed is the sort of meta reason why his character is called Buck: his defining characteristics in the first season are how young and inexperienced and reckless he is. He’s a young buck. I genuinely believe the writers came up with that and then decided to give him the last name Buckley as an excuse to call him that.

So for Tommy to call him Evan, and for him to accept that as an identity without cringing, is him growing up. Excuse the phrase, but it’s him healing his inner child. To hear “Evan” said casually, reverently, lovingly is a revelation. It is a connection between the lonely child and the actualized adult. It is the man in his totality.

[kaizokuniichan]

Attention Part 5 - Even Exchange

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro/AFAB Reader (referred to as she/her)/Trafalgar Law

Summary: You and Law finally come together in the most complete way.

Also known as: The chapter where Dev’s music nerdery is overwhelming (seriously there are an obscene amount of music references

CW: Mutual mastubation, oral sex, vaginal sex

Previous Chapters: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Word Count: 4.8k

Author’s Note: Slight spoiler for Law’s new awakened technique. I’m not sure of the exact logistics of how it works so I took some liberties for the sake of plot.

MDNI; 18+ READERS PLEASE

Divider by @/cafekitsune and banner by @/eelnoise

As you blinked yourself awake and took in your welcoming surroundings your stomach twisted into knots. For a moment you believed you’d been tricked by your overactive imagination—god knows how many times you’d dreamed of him bringing you here. Unsurprisingly it was cozy and dimly lit, slightly fragrant with the spicy scent of incense. The walls of course were metal but that didn’t make it feel unnaturally cold. A grand, Cedar wood desk stood proudly across from the bed with well-worn books and various articles strewn about in a disorganized heap.

“What’s with the mess?”

Striding over to join you, he quickly stacked the books and shuffled his papers.

“You damn Strawhats have been a constant pain in my ass even more these days.”

Giggling, you slid off the bed to admire the shiny coins displayed on the shelf above.

“You collect these?”

With a start he looked up, ears burning as you leaned closer to inspect them.

“Uh yeah. Just a little hobby of mine to pass the time.”

Your chest tightened as it inflated with affection.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s cute. I like knowing you have something that helps your uptight, nonexistent ass unwind.”

He peered intently into your eyes and you suddenly felt shy, as you always were around him. His stare was always so intense.

“Feel free to take a tour around the place. It’s not much but I’m happy to share it with you. If you’d like to stay.”

You cocked a mischievous brow.

“Are you planning on ravishing me tonight Law?”

He smiled without any skin-crawling lecherousness.

“I would love to, but we certainly don’t have to. You don’t even have to stay here tonight if you don’t want. I just wanted to show you my room and spend some time together since we’ve...had to keep a lower profile these days.”

“Not that it really matters considering Jean Bart keeps making suggestive comments about how his captain won’t stop drooling over me.”

His cheeks tinged a soft pink, yet he was bold enough not to deny it.

“Well…he might not be wrong.”

He gave you a crooked smile as he looked you up and down, letting his eyes drag over your bare legs exposed by your sleep shorts. As your body heated you felt a distant second heartbeat in your pelvic floor. You’d never not be amazed by how openly he desired you. How someone like him could desire you. You were someone whom he lusted after, and while it was exhilarating, it was also quite intimidating.

It’d been hard being so near him when you couldn’t touch him the way you wished. Onboard the Sunny you’d been nothing short of a stubborn barnacle at his side—shamelessly sidling up and wrapping yourself around him in an immovable grip. You’d been cautious during the early days of your tentative connection, but the more time you spent together—and after your very passionate excursion in the aquarium—you found him more than willing to allow you to handle him however you pleased, even responding in his own way. A secret squeeze of your thigh under the table and a brush of fingers when you were out in the open were his subtle showings of reciprocity. And of course the many secret kisses. Those were the best.

“Is there uh, a bathroom nearby? I’m a little warm. Wanna splash some water on my face.”

“Am I making you nervous?” He teased, eyes still twinkling with mirth.

“Um. Yes?”

He was so smug you wanted to kick him—he really could be such a bastard when he wanted. Sometimes he liked to be cheeky, and you loved those rare moments where he was laid-back and playful. How it made the cadence of a snare drum kick against your ribs.

“There’s an en-suite bathroom just to the left of the bed.”

“Oh how fancy.”

He stepped closer and in a mild panic you leaned to the side and rolled across the bed to where the bathroom stood. His soft laugh became muffled as you closed the door behind you.

The bathroom itself was nothing extravagant, but you hadn’t expected it to be. Perfectly practical, it was minimally furnished with nothing but the bare essentials. Two towels hung on a wooden rack, two toothbrushes sitting in a cup on the small counter. A grey bath mat lay at the foot of the shower stall, and from what you could see inside the shower, containers of liquid soap, shampoo, and conditioner.

As you walked up to the sink you noticed a small bottle of what appeared to be an oil cologne. Opening it and taking a sniff you were stricken with the same heady aroma he always carried on his skin and clothes. The scent, blended with a hint of antiseptic, always lingered after your brief hugs, and you’d spent many a night breathing it in whilst your hands played between your legs. Just a small whiff brought an immediate wetness to your panties.

Setting the bottle back down, you faced your reflection in the small mirror and pondered just how fuckable you looked. Your deliberation was tireless but necessary, and you wondered what it’d be like to fuck him. How he’d look. What he sounded like. What he tasted like. Were you going to fuck him tonight? You very much wanted to, but you were so anxious as to whether or not you’d even be good enough for him. You’d never had any complaints from previous partners, but Law seemed like someone who was difficult to please. What if it made things awkward? He was already such an awkward man, you’d hate if things became even more awkward.

“I hear you thinking in there, so I’ll just send you back to your room if you want.”

You bounded for the door and flung it open in a panic.

“Don’t you dare.”

He sat on the bed facing away from you.

“I don’t want you to feel any pressure.”

“I don’t feel pressured. I wanna stay here with you tonight.”

He turned to face you skeptically, refusing to move an inch from his seat.

“Law just get comfy. And take off those damn heeled boots.”

With another small smile he rose from the bed and crossed over to a closet you hadn’t noticed. Kicking off his shoes and pulling his sweater over his head, he revealed inch by inch the dark ink on his back contrasting with his tan skin—slightly obscured by the white tank top he’d been wearing underneath. You growled in frustration as he sat back down.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, turning his body to look at you.

“Nothing, it’s just. You spend all day with your shirts almost fully unbuttoned so I get a full view of your tits, but now that we’re alone you won’t even let me get a proper look.”

He turned back around and you were utterly mesmerized by the way his shoulders and biceps were accentuated by the flimsy fabric.

“I don’t do free shows, you’re gonna have to work for it.”

“You give enough free shows every day with those slutty clothes of yours.”

His breathy laugh filled you with tendrils of honey.

“Maybe if you’re good you’ll get something special.”

You hoped the sound of your gulp was only audible to you.

He observed with amusement as you stumbled over to the other side of the room, reaching your destination back at the desk. When you rested your bottom on the edge your fingers played with the grooves in the wood.

“I think we’ve done enough talking today Law.

His bouncing leg halted when you leaned back on your hands.

“I think so too.”

“Then…come here.”

If you could find a word to describe the way his body moved you’d settle on saunter. His lithe form beheld true majesty as he glided over to you—a little terrifying and absolutely thrilling.

He now towered over you, heavily sunken eyes filled with an almost primal, commanding lust. The tips of his fingers touched your cheek as he stepped closer, and the front of his legs pressed into yours.

You scooted back when he softly ordered you to sit. Immediately you spread your legs to allow him to accommodate the space between, and you looked into his eyes as he cradled your face. Blown wide irises roved endlessly as he studied you, mapping out every delicate feature. You placed a hand on his chest while the other reached up to play with the small hoop earrings in his lobe, tracing your thumb along the smooth surface.

You felt his body shudder as you tickled his sideburns, running your pads down his jawline where they met with his goatee. An indecipherable sound rumbled in his chest when he stepped deeper into your space, and he tightened the hand around the back of your neck as he leaned down.

There was no fanfare when your lips melded into a careful kiss. Your hand on his chest tightened it’s hold and wrinkled the fabric of his shirt while the other wrapped around his neck. It was uncertain whose tongue slipped into whose mouth first but they soon became entwined.

His hands slid down your sides in slow reverence as a whine curled in your throat. When he pulled you closer to bring your center flush with his hips, you marveled at how perfect he felt. Far better than what you could ever have imagined. Despite his lanky appearance his body was sturdy and solid. Carefully crafted as a means for survival.

Your hands continued to caress each other as he dug his fingers into your hips. Unsurprisingly (or maybe surprising to you) he was hard, and you felt a quaking in your thighs that would’ve made you crumble to the floor if you’d been standing. He continued to grip you with more assurance — much more demanding than any other time he’d touched you. Slipping his hands beneath your shirt to fondle your breasts, his thumbs rolled lightly over your nipples as he spread his fingers over your ribs. Throaty whimpers pierced your lust-filled haze as your hips undulated against his, desperately seeking relief.

His lips slipped from yours to make a drunken voyage down your jaw, teeth catching on your skin and licking flames of heated passion behind. He clutched you impossibly close and you wrapped your legs around him.

“You’re crushing all of my papers,” he murmured, voice low and dipped in chocolate.

“Good. Fuck those papers.”

Your hand began a journey to the top of his jeans, unfastening the button and pulling down the zipper. His hand came to grasp yours as if to stop you, and when you looked up you were met with a question lining his golden irises. You reassured him with a nip at his bottom lip, sliding his pants down just enough to comfortably slip your hand inside. His body was hot and trembled with restraint, and he let out a hiss when you swirled a thumb over the already wet, flushed head.

The air in the room suddenly felt cold when he stepped back.

“I...I want you to watch me.”

Your mind became waterlogged as he took a seat across from you on the bed.

“If you really want to hold my attention take that shirt off.”

He smirked, shifting back and pulling his jeans down to the middle of his thighs.

“You first.”

You hadn’t expected this level of sultry confidence from him. Normally he was especially careful when the two of you were alone—never wanting to make you feel as if he was taking advantage. He’d always allowed you to lead.

Yet the basis of your relationship had always been an even exchange, and you were more than willing to comply.

His breath hitched when you slipped your shirt over your head to reveal your bare chest and pert nipples, and his eyes kept yours leashed as he began to stroke himself. You’d never felt more assured of his attraction to you than when your eyes were tethered to his.

He allowed you a moment to admire his dick as he removed his shirt, and you were almost too eager to have it in your hands. Or mouth. Or pussy. Anywhere he wanted to put it really.

He leaned back, allowing dribbles of pre-cum to leak onto his abs, and you wrestled with your mind to accept the reality that this unbelievably gorgeous man was pleasuring himself to the live image of you. With his shirt tossed aside, he allowed you to feast on the hilly planes of inked tan skin and sinewy muscles, all converging into a delectable point between his pelvic bones.

“Law...do you even realize how sexy you are?”

His mouth quirked with pride, still languidly stroking himself.

“I’m glad you think so,” he replied, the soft tenor of his voice making you throb.

“I refuse to believe I’m the first person to tell you this.”

He sucked in air through clenched teeth and moved his hand faster.

“Well, you’re the first person it ever mattered to hear it from,” he sighed, the flushed head poking between the middle of his fist.

“You want it?” he asked.

“God yes,” you breathed as your pussy clenched.

He leaned over to grasp the rolling chair at his desk and dragged it over in front of him.

“Sit here.”

Almost immediately you complied. Pulling off your shorts and opening your legs you felt the cool air seep into the dampness of your panties.

“Are you gonna put on a show for me Law?”

His hips stirred and he picked up the pace, lips parting as he took in short breaths.

“If that’s something that you want.”

Your center continued to pulsate and you went to snap your legs closed when he grunted a sound of disapproval and shook his head.

“No. Let me see you.”

You’d heard him be commanding before—he was the Captain of a notorious pirate crew after all. But this new authoritative tone he directed at you suggested he wasn’t to be defied, and it excited you. So you opened your legs for him.

“What would you like for me to do Law?”

He breathed shallowly as he pumped himself—liquid pearls dribbling over his knuckles.

“I want…you. All of you. But first I’d like to see how excited you can get for me.”

You let your hand drift between your legs as a sumptuous chill trickled down to your toes.

“Why won’t you touch me?”

He huffed, spreading his legs wider as he bucked his hips.

“He’s already done that for you, hasn’t he?”

Heat fanned across the back of your neck as you were brought back to your kitchen dalliance with Zoro several days prior.

“I wanna do things differently.”

You huffed in frustration. “Well…at least let me put your dick in my mouth.”

His hand stilled as a surprised chuckle escaped him.

“We can do that in a little while. Spread your legs and pull your panties to the side for me.”

You wanted to protest and move things along far more quickly but you understood his need to move at his own pace. And the slow-burning foreplay was definitely not unwelcome.

It was almost embarrassing how slick-saturated your panties had become as you tugged them to the side. Cautiously you looked down and swirled your finger around your bud, releasing a sigh of relief.

“Look at me.”

It’s not that you’d never had an audience before, but Law’s presence made you incredibly self-conscious and unsure.

But as you looked back to him you remembered what made you fall for him in the first place. He’d been so insistent on fixing a part of yourself you’d believed to be broken—like the worn binding of an aged book—and he’d repaired you good as new. Your heart bloomed with achingly sweet love.

Your eyes fluttered while slipping a finger inside yourself, and he groaned as his fist moved faster.

“Fuck. Never seen anything so pretty.”

You melted.

“Oh Law.”

His brows furrowed as he tugged himself, adam’s apple bobbing with every gulping breath. You clenched when you added another finger.

“You want me to eat that pretty pussy of yours?”

You whined louder than you’d intended.

“Yes. Law please.”

“Slip another finger inside.”

Your body was wracked with shudders that had nothing to do with the cold air. A stone sunk into your belly as you eyed his dick still being fisted in front of you. He was much thicker than what you were capable of providing for yourself, even while pumping the three fingers inside you without being told to do so. Finding it difficult to keep contact with his probing eyes you dropped your head back with a shameless moan.

“Law I want you so badly.”

You heard him grunt as he halted his movements.

“I wanna give it to you love.” Suddenly his eyes flew open.

“Um..I mean...”

You lifted your head back up and smiled.

“Did you just call me love?”

“I didn’t mean…that’s not what I meant to say.”

His scrambling was impossibly cute and completely fruitless. Sliding off your seat you knelt down and settled between his legs. When you looked up his lips were parted and glistening as his chest heaved imperceptibly faster.

“You know, you called me baby that one time too.” He rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment but you saw it anyway. “I never took you as the type to give pet names.”

Covering his scorching hand with yours, you gripped his fist and guided him, squeezing it in with reassurance.

“It was just a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean to say it.”

“Oh didn’t you?” You gave him a pout. “Am I not your baby? Am I not your love?”

He cupped your cheek with his other hand, tilting your face up to look at you properly. What a sight you must’ve been, nestled between his legs as he pulled himself closer to release. You hoped it was everything he’d dreamed of. He leaned down to give you a kiss, gripping your jaw tightly.

“I’ll call you whatever you like. I’ll give you whatever you like.”

You shook your head and you leaned back.

“I’m gonna give you something first. Straighten up and watch me.”

You could see him wanting to argue but your sharp look held him back. He sat up and watched as you leaned closer to run your tongue along the trail of dark hair leading to where both your hands held him. The pheromones of his desire left you intoxicated as you transformed into a feral seductress for him—burying your head between his legs. After swatting his hand away you wasted no time. Despite the saltiness that stained your tongue it was mixed with a decadent sweetness. Slowly you picked him apart as you licked along the underside.

The heavy hand gripping the back of your head was welcomed, though he still made no move to force you down. For now he was weakened by the endless weeks filled with pining and yearning, and he allowed you to take control. The wait had proven to be worthwhile as you slid further down until your nose met his pelvis. He felt heavenly in your mouth. As he tickled your esophagus you were brought back to a supposed trick given to you by a friend that was said to prevent gagging. Tucking your thumb into your fist you sucked him slowly, bobbing your head up and down gently. His other hand came back to rest on your cheek in a moment of tenderness that counteracted the sublime sin in your mouth.

Evidently the supposed trick was proven to be false for when he poked the back of your throat you gagged. His hands attempted to pull you off but you remained in place—resigned to keeping him completely encased in your warmth. Taking one of his hands off your face you tangled your fingers together and breathed through your nose, resuming your hedonistic suckling.

The faster you sucked the more his breaths became ragged. He was a fairly respectable man when he wasn’t a merciless pirate, though his careful respectfulness only encouraged your mouth to service him more provocatively. He deserved it. You let your saliva run freely as trails of drool dribbled past your lips, lapping your tongue sloppily around the shaft. With an erotic hum you slurped him down your throat. He panted as more of your mouth juices coated your fingers, and he gripped your head tighter as curses tumbled from his lips.

“Fuck. You love having me in your mouth, don’t you?”

You removed yourself from his length and sat back on your knees, eyes wet from your fervent efforts.

“I love it. I love it so fucking much.”

He shifted to lean his arm on the mattress, cocking his head to the side.

“You want me to fuck your pretty mouth?”

You were unable to answer, too preoccupied with rocking back and forth for some relief.

“Well?”

You took him in your hand and stroked idly as you carefully considered your words.

“I wanna shove you so far down my throat that I can hardly breathe.”

The hand still on your head tugged you closer until you were a mere centimeter away. Your tongue poked out to swipe kitten licks along the head.

“Go ahead and show me how much you want me”

Molten molasses dripped into your panties as you gobbled him up, consuming him completely. You pulled more grunts from his lips, licking, bobbing, and slurping noisily. You made it nasty, showing how much you hungered—how much you craved him. No longer holding himself back he groaned and began thrusting into your mouth. Holding you in place he bucked his hips, shoving himself further down your throat. All hesitancy of his vanished as he used you, tugging his pants down his knees and squeezing his thighs around your head. His ragged breaths grew heavier as you brought him closer and closer to the edge, and you prepared yourself to swallow his milk when he forcefully pulled you off.

“Law please, let me...”

“Get up and lay on the bed.”

You wanted to continue protesting but you were still in an agreeable mood and did as you were told, sitting down on the plush mattress and scooting back against the pillows. He stood to remove his pants and boxers in one fell swoop, making the mattress dip as he mirrored your previous position between his legs.

“I’m gonna give you something he hasn’t, and I want you to picture him watching as I make you cum.”

An icy fist clutched your heart as flashes of green skittered across your mind’s eye. You could almost feel the other stolen piece of your heart toss you a look of amusement as Law slid off your panties. A warm and dexterous tongue flicked between your lower lips and you let out a whimper and covered your mouth.

“Lemme hear you,” he murmured into your skin, nosing your bud.

“I don’t want my voice to bounce off the walls. What if someone hears?”

He considered your words before sitting up.

“Room.”

An invisible, spherical barrier of chantilly lace enclosed your bodies in a noiseless cocoon.

“Silent.”

“What the hell was that?”

He laid back down and kissed your folds.

“Now no one will be able to hear you except for me.”

A thrill of electricity sparked as he hooked your legs over his shoulders—your heart thundering in your chest as his breaths puffed against your sex. A slick river of ambrosia trickled down towards your ass and he licked it clean, groaning as he buried his face into your pussy.

“Fuck, you taste so sweet. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.”

You wished he hadn’t brought up your eventual departure as your eyes prickled with unshed tears.

“Law, please don’t.”

He licked a long stripe between your folds, wiggling his tongue inside to lap at your juices. Your head fell back as he devoured you, strumming the strings of your longing and playing a ballad of burgeoning ecstasy. The frolicking staccato of your moans married with the symphonic melody of your panting—crescendoing louder when he thrust three fingers inside. Notes of D, E, and A pulled a debaucherous allegro from your walls. He tuned your body to the very key of his choosing.

You clambered closer and closer to your peak and you knew you’d be too exhausted to continue if you prematurely toppled over the edge. With laborious difficulty you pulled him off your heat, shuddering as your body somersaulted back down.

“Law I need you to fuck me. I can’t wait anymore.”

Danger flashed in his eyes and you flattened yourself into the bed.

“I hope you know what you’re asking for. I’ve been holding myself back all this time.”

You knew he wasn’t just referring to tonight. Shuddering from the threat you opened your legs wider and parted your pussy lips with your fingers as an invitation to him. He covered your body with his and lay wet kisses on your face.

“Law. Please.”

His hand cupped your jaw and turned your head to the side, licking sloppy swipes of his tongue along your neck and down your throat. His hips ground against yours as he coated his dick with your juices.

Taking hold and positioning himself at your entrance, he poked your puffy flesh with his head. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he surged forward, halfway sheathing himself inside. He filled you more and more as he bucked his hips forward, further enveloping himself inside your wetness. As he settled at his hilt you brought your knees up, opening yourself completely for him to take.

“Law I want you to use me”

He throbbed and slid his arms beneath your back to grasp your shoulders and hold you close.

“I’m not going to use you. I’m going to pour everything into you that I’ve wanted to give to you all this time.”

You gasped when he thrusted roughly, the slow and steady rhythm of his balls slapping against your ass making you quiver. His mouth hovered over yours as his fingers dug into your flesh, and the harmony of your moans smoothed over the carnality of your want. Your sweat-slicked bodies glided against each other, and the squelching sounds of your slick ricocheted against the walls of your sonically concealed bubble. Senseless babbling urged him on as he fucked into you faster, knocking himself into your hips and pressing your knees up to your chest.

“Fuck, I wanna keep you. Wanna keep you right here with me. Can’t let you go.”

Goose-pimples freckled your flesh as you gushed around him. He’d hit your fleshy and sensitive center sooner than you’d hoped, and you arched off the bed with a wail.

“Law…Law…Law…” you chanted, curling into him when he released his bruising grip on your legs. As he continued grinding his hips the springs of the bed squeaked in exhaustion, and you were endlessly thankful for his versatile technique.

“Can I have you? Are you mine?”

“I’m yours Law. I’ll always be yours.”

You felt a moment of guilt knowing there was still another piece of your heart being held by another man, but you were soon distracted when the stilted pap, pap, pap of his hips grew rougher, and his hand lunged forward to grip the headboard. Your world was filled to the brim with watery sobs and heady groans, rising into an amalgamation of calcified bliss.

You came before him when his calloused fingers slipped over your bud in messy circles—quaking and shivering as your toes curled. Your body continued to shake as his skin slapped into yours, filthy promises of ruination filling your ears.

He soon pulled out and fucked into his fist in a frenzy, spilling himself on your stomach and thighs. Your heaving breaths intermingled with his as he dragged his dick filthily along the trail of his spend.

You were fucked. Physically and mentally so. The words you’d locked away in a carbon coated safe threatened to seep through the cracks as you tangled your fingers into his messy, onyx locks. He cradled your face in his hands, his new favorite thing to do, as he traced your lips with his thumb and littered kisses along your lips and cheeks. A painful sob threatened to escape, and you were frustrated as tears spilled from your eyes.

“Law I…”

“I know. Me too.”

Your happiness was bittersweet as you drew shapes along his back before he finally settled down beside you and covered you both with the covers. Turning to face him you slipped a leg between his and wrapped an arm over his waist, enjoying his heat seeping into your body.

With a flick of his wrist he muttered a “shambles” and your privacy dome disappeared, golden lights dimming as you both succumbed to a delicious, dreamy slumber.

[mustainegf]

heyy I just found your page and you're talented as hell! I wanted to send in a little request.

ok so, 80s or RTL era James and reader are best friends, they are having a sleepover,then she wakes sweating profusely because of a nightmare. she tries to sleep again, she tosses and turns on the bed bit thats doesn't work,and finally wakes James. when he notices how afraid she is, he tries comforting her.

This is fucking adorable, lets be honest we all know they have crushes on each other

𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 ¹⁹⁸⁴

I threw the frayed, flimsy sleeping bag on the floor of James's bedroom, directly next to his bed. I didn't mind that the fabric was nearly threadbare and provided little comfort. All that mattered was that I was at James's house.

Though it was equally ancient and lumpy as the sleeping bag, I gratefully accepted James's insistence on lending me an extra pillow. I gave it a tight grip and stared up at him, enjoying the feel of the velvety material on my cheek.

With a cheeky smile on his face, James was lying flat on his bed and staring at me. The little lamp on his bedside table created a soft, yellow glow that warmed the space and gave it a cozy, personal feel.

His guitar rested against the far corner, and his hanging posters of metal bands lined the walls. I could let my guard down and be who I am here and it felt like a second home.

"Do you remember that time Lars tried to balance on one leg and play drums?" James commented, amusement alive in his eyes.

I burst into giggles, burying my face in the pillow. “Oh God, yes... He almost took out the entire drum set.”

James laughed, a deep, rumbling sound that made my heart swell. “He’s such a dumbass. I don’t know how he stays upright most of the time, let alone play drums.”

Each story was funnier than the last, and before long, we were both crying with laughter. That kind of chuckle that just makes everything a bit better.

“Hey, you know what’s weird?” James spoke abruptly, his tone now gentler. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard.”

I noticed the vulnerable expression on his face as I glanced up at him. "Neither can I," I said. "Recently, life has been so busy. It's I've missed hanging out.

James gave a nod, fixing his gaze on mine. There was a brief but comfortable silence during which we simply exchanged glances and knew everything about the other without any words being spoken.

"I love you being here," he muttered.

I answered, "Always," reaching up to give him a firm squeeze. "I wouldn't be anywhere else, you know that."

He smiled, that lopsided grin that always made my heart miss a beat. As the hours passed, our voices became softer and our words became shorter.

I was really happy as I snuggled onto the extra pillow he'd given me. The fact that I was lying on the floor in a tacky sleeping bag didn't matter. It mattered that James and I were together in this utterly perfect moment. The things that brought beauty to life , was this, James.

With drooping eyelids, I whispered a, "Goodnight, James."

He breathed back, "Goodnight," his voice low with drowsiness.

And then, with the comfort of the man beside me, I allowed myself drift off.

I startled awake, breathing urgently and shallowly as my heart hammered in my chest. Sweat was pouring down my face and the flimsy sleeping bag was sticking to my skin.

The nightmare that had pulled me from sleep had left my mind a disorganized mix of visuals, but they were beginning to fade into the shadows, leaving me with nothing but an uneasy sense of dread.

I sat up and attempted to calm my breathing while sliding a shaking hand through my hair. The only sound in the pitch black, silent room was James's even, gentle breathing from his bed.

I looked across at him and felt an ocean of relief when I noticed how unbothered he was. The last thing I wanted was to wake him up, especially being the one crashing at his place.

I took a deep breath, pulled my knees up to my chest, and tried to push the nightmare's last fragments away. The hard, cold floor felt even more unforgiving at this point. I lay back down, clutching James' lumpy pillow to my chest, inhaling his scent.

I forced myself to go back to sleep and closed my eyes. I rolled around on the hard floor, attempting to find any spot that was comfortable. I felt as though the cold seeped through the sleeping bag, causing me to be cooled to the bone. The bag provided very little to cushion me.

I let the pattern of James's steady breathing relax me as I concentrated on it. Slow and steady, in and out. My breath matched his. But sleep eluded me no matter how hard I tried.

All I want in this moment is James. My James.

After a while I quit  trying to make it work and just laid there, gazing upwards.

I finally reached my breaking point. I needed to feel safe, to feel warmth, to feel… James. I staggered upright, making the room to spin a little as I moved. I trembled as I knelt over his bed and gave him a little shoulder shake without thinking twice.

Whispering, "James," my voice wavered. "James, wake up."

He slolwly stirred awake, peering at me in the half light as he opened his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked his voice sluggish from sleep but immediately worried. "Are you okay?"

My eyes filled with tears, and I shook my head, incapable to think of anything to say. Rather, I naturally moved my body to rest next to him. I needed his warmth and comfort, I needed to be near him. I tugged him closer, pressing my face against his chest and gripping his shirt tightly.

James didn't hesitate for a second. He wrapped me with his arms, pressing me close to his body. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he said in a comforting whisper. "I'm here. You're safe."

I felt his hand gently stroking my back, his touch sending a wave of calm through me. I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent, and felt the tension begin to drain from my body. His heart beat steadily beneath my ear, a comforting rhythm that grounded me.

We had never had such an intimacy or closeness before. However, it felt perfect, like something we've both always needed. It seemed like exactly what We needed.

I felt him shift a little, repositioning himself to comfortably grasp me. He reached for my hair with his other hand and used his fingers to gently untangle knots that werent there.

I expected cuddling with James to be awkward, wrong, weird. But now that I was in his arms, his heartbeat in my ear, there was no place I'd rather be.

With his breath warm against my forehead, he whispered softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Still unable to find my voice, I shook my head once again. I was stuck thinking, maybe I loved James a little more than just a friend.

He answered softly, "Okay," without pressuring me further. "Just know I'm here, alright? I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded, feeling the last traces of fear finally disappear. His body, his touch, and his words were all I needed to feel okay again.

James placed a delicate kiss on the top of my head. "Sleep, you need it," he said softly, making my heart ache.

And as I nodded off in his arms, I realized that I would always have this James to come back to, nightmares or not.

[diaco1968]

Can u PLSPLSPS write more Dylan x male reader I’m begging out here 🙏🙏🙏

I am not at all in a writing mood but then again you asked so nicely ...

It's been more than a year since I saw the game so, I'm rusty and Dylan is ooc probably, apologies.

Also I do female and gender neutral, but again you asked so so nicely, I just couldn't decline... hope it makes enough sense to still be enjoyable 😅

Ps. I can't help but be a little mean and tease... so... muhahaha I guess

Warnings! Smut, lemon, heavy petting, making out, hand job, male!reader, pre-game, kinda implied established relationship? Idk

In retrospect it was a poor choice by mr Hackett' to send Dylan for this particular job but then again even Dylan wasn't supposed to take as long as he was taking to get back. You pushed open the door to the storage, peaking inside before walking in.

Sure enough Dylan was there, his back facing you, loose shirt and slumped shoulders managing to hide the lean figure underneath only betrayed by the broadness of his shoulders and back. That and how tall he was. Honestly if he stopped slouching he'd be a block of a guy... you bit your lower lip to try and conceal the wide smirk spreading over your lips. Dylan was still unaware of your presence, completely preoccupied with the food shelf he seemed to be ...organizing? Disorganizing? There were boxes everywhere, in his hands, on the floor...

You thought about clearing your throat to make your presence known but decided against it, no fun. You quietly stepped forward, leaning in close letting a hot breath over the shell of his ear as you whispered very gently, "boo."

"Son of a bi- nkybonky!!!"

You stepped back to avoid his flailing arm, chuckling at him freaking out, dramatically dropping the cereal boxes he was holding, as he turned around to glare at you.

"What's up?"

"My blood pressure for one?... that was mean!"

You tilted your head to the side as you inspected the shelf behind him.

"Well I can think of something else that's up. Breakfast time is up for example? What are you even doing?"

"Oh shoot! Really?!"

"Well almost; what's the hold up? Grab a box and be done with it, no?"

"Well I don't know what color!"

"...color?"

Dylan looked at you like it was the most obvious thing the whole day.

"Well yeah? Duh? He said not to bring him the blue and pink ones... but then again, what should I bring him?"

You blinked a few times before smiling at how cute he was when he was dumb... which was almost all the time; you leaned down to pick up the boxes on the ground.

"No color, Dylan. Only gluten free. There is gluten in food coloring..."

You stood up and started putting the boxes in the shelves, moving your arms around his body that was in your way watching his face as it sank in.

"...oh..."

"Yeah."

"Oh!"

You rolled your eyes smile on your lips slowly turning into a smirk as you leaned into him, nose brushing against his while you leaned up to put the last box on the shelf above his head.

He was pressed back against the shelves, his hands gripping the edge by his hips tightly as he held your gaze, the tips of his ears slowly turning red.

"Shouldn't we like... go back?"

He whispered, his face only a few inches away from yours as his eyes darted between your eyes, your lips and behind you to the door. You closed the distance and lightly brushed your lips over his, whispering back, "do you want to?"

"I... well I didn't say that... I asked if we should... breakfast is almost over an-"

He was cut off with a groan as you pressed your lips to his, your head tilting and your hand cupping his cheek as you moulded your lips together.

His lips parted when you swiped your tongue over them and he let you slip your tongue in his mouth, his arm snaking around your hip to rest on the small of your back as he pulled you into himself, both of you moaning softly at the sudden contact.

You pushed back against his hand, puttinh enough distance between yourselves to slip your hand between the two of you and confirm your suspicion. You pressed the palm of your hand to the outline of his clothed hardened dick and he hissed in your mouth as he pulled back from the kiss, panting softly.

You moved your mouth next to his ear dropping your voice to a low whisper,

"I thought you wanted to go back, what's with this little problem you have then?"

You licked the lobe of his ear, sucking it into your mouth as he pushed his head back against the shelves, sighing deeply, eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed his hard on, before rubbing your palm along the lenghth of it, his other hand shot up to grip your hip on the other side more to steady himself.

"He has a mind of his own... between the two of us, he has the better ideas to be honest..."

You laughed, letting go of his cheek to pull back.

"Well, I'm sure he can take care of the situation then."

You tried taking a step back to fix yourself up, after all no matter how much you wanted to just grab Dylan and have him, there were people expecting you.

You tried, but his hands on your hips stopped you, his head still leaned back against the shelf as he peaked down at you with a smirk of his own.

"Oh no, I don't think so, buddy."

With a smoothness you didn't expect from him he pushed himself off the shelf, walking you back into the opposite shelf and pressing you back into it, you now being the one caged in between him and the shelf, his arms keeping you stuck to it.

He had taken you off guard and he was basically standing between your legs, grinding into you as your breath caught in your throat.

"... b-but... the breakfast..."

"Oh how the turn tables, huh? Not so tough now? But stuttering? New level for you..."

His hand cupped the back of your head tilting it up as his lips found your neck and he started to carefully suck and nip on the side, moving down to your throat and licking back up over your Adam's apple.

"Dylan... fuck..."

You moaned as you bucked your hips into him, the sweet friction and the feel of his cock rubbing over your lower belly having you twitching in your pants and a jolt of excitement ran through your spine.

"You should really work on that language you know?... naughty language..."

"Oh fuck off..."

His free hand ran down your hip, down the side of your leg and hooked under your knee before pulling it up and around his waist, making you gasp as you reached out to wrap your arms over his shoulders to keep yourself balanced.

His other hand moved between the two of you to undo your pants and pull down both your boxers hastily.

"I might not be good with cereal but naughty boys... now that I can do something about..."

His mouth crashed into yours clumsily, both of you groaning into the messy kiss as his hand wrapped around the both of your lenghths, languidly moving up, and back down in a few tentative strokes. Your hips bucked and you thrusted into his grip, rubbing the sensitive underside of your shaft over his as his grip tightened, making your hips jerk back. There was a coil forming in your lower belly and it was very close to burst.

The banging on the door and the sound of the handly turning and opening had you both jump away from each other as you pulled up your pants and fixed yourself up hastily, uncomfortably shifting yourself in your pants as you looked over at Dylan, who also seemed presentable, if only blushing a little too much. Just in time for Kaitlyn to walk over to the both of you.

"Guys! What the heck!"

She grabber a box right off the shelf before glaring at the two of you.

"It's this easy! ... what's wrong with you? You don't look alright?"

She turned to Dylan who ran his hand down his face and shrugged.

"I don't know?"

"It's probably hay fever or something... the shelves were really dusty..."

"Hay fever.... riiight...."

"Well hurry up!"

She raised an eyebrow as she looked between the two of you, you ushering her to walk in front, before turning around to leave.

And the two of you waddling behind her awkwardly, quietly trying to make the discomfort in your pants go away.

[waywardsalt]

on my knees gripping my head hnngggg i thought abt bellumbeck too hard

tag ramblings are fun and on brand but i have too many disorganized thoughts and tags are limiting.

anyways thinking too hard abt him is an extremely good and fun thing but i cannot draw the way i wish and can't really put my thoughts into fic form so this is very much going to be a fun ramble.

bellumbeck drives me insane we all know this. he showed up in my dream last night as of writing this sentence so he is on my mind, which is surprising bc fictional stuff doesn't usually show up coherently in my dreams but there it was.

it's so incredibly fun to think about bellumbeck. he's such a black sheep of a loz final boss, there really isnt another loz final boss like him in concept or even in 1:1 tone imo. it's so fun to take bellumbeck incredibly darkly seriously.

to be fair bellumbeck is kind of objectively a fairly dark and disturbing final boss on a conceptual level, and it's not really out of nowhere since phantom hourglass has at least a little darkness running through it even if the general tone of the game doesn't really acknowledge or take advantage of it. but if you think about it hard enough even without getting into post-game speculation in regards to what happens with linebeck, bellumbeck is kind of a dark boss and it's great. full on screen demonic possession of a major character with most of the cast incapacitated and link isolated with no escape on the ruins of the ghost ship that started everything and facing a boss that is constantly facing him and both someone he's been with the whole adventure and also the creature that's captured his friends and killed who knows how many people.

it's so oooouuuugghhhh it's so much fun to think about bellumbeck even though it's such a short encounter. it's so... the mystery around bellum, the way linebeck is built up throughout the game and saves link directly before getting possessed, the fucking on-screen vaguely violent possession (i am forever obsessed with the way bellum grabs and tugs on his arms), the way ciela is captured early into the fight, too, the first companion character you meet and, if you had her equipped, it leaves you without a fairy that follows your cursor around for the first time all game, it's very... congrats you and your friends are at rock bottom! good luck getting everyone out of there alive!!!!

of course it's not quite that because this game is geared a bit more towards younger players, but still keeps those streaks of darkness and complexity just simply because they're inevitable parts of this story and it's characters. bellumbeck. i'm talking about bellumbeck. what a soulsborne-ass final boss, huh?

there's only so much a ds game can do in terms of boss animations, but i think a lot about more complicated movements and animations for bellumbeck, so, so much character can be communicated through a boss's animations. in my mind, i enjoy bellumbeck movements with an emphasis on puppet-like flourishes and mannerisms, and an emphasis on weight with how he fights. these two go very well together, and its something i love imagining.

with the latter, an emphasis on weight, would ideally focus on the sword (and im a fan of it being this huge greatsword, reading berserk got me around to liking it because you can do that really well) and how it has to be used one-handed, with bellumbeck leveraging his own weight against it and taking advantage of momentum to use it especially effectively to turn link into a little green and red smear on the wood. attacks blending into each other as he builds up momentum, and using that weight primarily against link, who is a small opponent who relies on rolling around and can’t really stack up at all in terms of brute force.

i imagine this kind of physicality and movement would lend itself very well to bellumbeck also having more puppet-like movements, being a little too tugged-along by his attacks but still retaining his footing, his free arm being just a little too limp a little too often, and his leaning away from his sword side, likely with the intention to properly balance himself out, looks off with how his head lolls unnaturally to that side. the puppetry effect lessens as the fight wears on and bellum gets the hang of the body he’s using, but never actually goes away since he’s not looking to act properly human anyways.

just like... movement flourishes and details that could add a whole lot to the overall experience of bellumbeck that i think about often.

[shadamyheadcanons]

Glitch Version 1.1

Surprise! At long last, I’ve finally finished the revised version of my story from the Shadamy Zine! Get it? Version 1.1? Because it’s like a software update haha--

Special thanks to @w0lp3rtinger and @shadowsfascination for beta’ing this for me!

Summary: Shadow’s normally-flawless Chaos powers have been on the fritz lately, and he suspects his conflicted state of mind is to blame. Unfortunately, the situation only worsens when he’s around Amy Rose.

Cross-posted on AO3.

Shadow panted and dodged left to evade a spray of pellets from Omega’s wrist cannons as he sprinted through the field behind Team Dark’s apartment complex. His ears picked up on the metallic snap of Omega switching his weaponry. He glanced back to see his friend had shifted to his inaccurate fireball launcher, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“YOU ARE UNUSUALLY SLUGGISH TODAY, OLD MAN. ARE YOU PAST YOUR PRIME?” Omega leapt into the air to hurl a fireball toward Shadow.

Shadow gritted his teeth, then smirked. “Hmph. Last time I checked, only one of us can get rusty, and it’s not me.” He reversed direction and dashed back toward Omega, sliding under the fireball as he went. He stayed low and pressed his hands into the grass, then pushed himself up as forcefully as he could, kicking directly upward as Omega fell back down.

Normally I could do this easily, but today...

The kick knocked Omega’s hand loose in its socket, making him flail and curse. Shadow leapt to his feet and grinned. “Is that what passes for craftsmanship where you were made?”

“...SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE IS SIMPLY OVERDUE!” Omega sputtered, hurriedly snapping his hand back in place. “I AM THE ULTIMATE E-SERIES ROBOT. MY LAB WAS STATE-OF-THE-ART.”

“Eh...it’s no space station—”

Omega interrupted Shadow’s amused muttering by scooping him up in a ball and shooting him directly out of his arm cannon, clearly irritated. Shadow unrolled in midair, laughing softly as he slid to a stop some twenty feet farther down the field. Omega was generally less of a threat when he was annoyed.

“Oo, are they sparring? How exciting!”

Shadow’s ears immediately perked up at the cheery voice that chimed in. His eyes flicked to the side to see Amy saunter over to Rouge. His heart pounded a little, and it only accelerated when she waved an arm and encouragingly shouted, “Go Shadow! You can do it!”

“ORGANICS ARE EASILY DISTRACTED. DEPLOYING MISSILES.”

Shadow snapped his gaze forward again just in time to see Omega fire a barrage of his drill-shaped missiles into the air. Shadow focused energy in his palm. A drop of sweat slid down his temple. God...I hope it works this time... He wound up his arm. “Chaos...Spear!”

He swung his arm up toward the projectiles...and the Chaos energy fizzled out in his palm.

Terror gripped Shadow for a moment, but then he spotted the tracks of the missiles and chuckled in disbelief. He held still while they fell to the ground around him in a disorganized mess, their small explosions not coming anywhere near him. Shadow snorted and placed a hand on his hip, turning his amused gaze toward Omega.

“You know, Omega, if my aim were like yours, I wouldn’t openly call myself a ‘combat robot.’ Have you tried doing robocalls? Assembly line work? Whatever it is Orbot and Cubot do?”

Pride swelled in Shadow’s chest when he heard Amy’s bubbly laughter from the sidelines, pulling his attention away from the battle once more.

By the time he heard Omega’s enraged shout, the robot was nearly upon him.

“BEGONE, ULTIMATE NUISANCE!”

Uh-oh...

Shadow just barely avoided Omega’s dash punch. Omega didn’t quit, unleashing a flurry of furious strikes. Shadow kept moving, feeling panic rise in his gut as Omega’s clawed fingers nearly sheared off the fur on his cheek. This would be so much easier if I could use Chaos Control...

In a last-ditch attempt to buy himself more space, Shadow jumped back, then leapt over Omega’s head. Omega pivoted and swung an arm in an arc over his head, catching Shadow in the stomach. Shadow grunted as the wind was knocked out of him. He heard the whoosh of Omega’s other arm as it swung toward him. It collided with the back of his head with an ugly clang, making his ears ring. He let out an undignified yelp at the blunt pain. He was thrown a good fifteen feet before he landed face first in the dirt, sliding to a stop shortly after. He groaned.

“Oh, no! Shadow!”

Shadow cringed and just barely lifted his head. And Amy saw it, too. Great.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Omega pumping his arms triumphantly in the air. “ERADICATE!”

Rouge tsked and shook her head. “Now? Really?”

“I REIGN SUPREME ONCE MORE! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION!”

“Shadow, are you alright?! Don’t worry, I know first aid!” Amy’s caring voice and actions easily distracted Shadow from Omega’s grandstanding. She carefully helped him sit up, then looked in his eyes with a concerned pout. “Where did you get hit?”

“Back of the head.” She visibly cringed and shuffled to sit behind him. “But it’s not a big deal, you don’t have to—”

“Don’t worry, I’ll have you fixed up in no time!” she interrupted. She started running her careful fingers along his scalp to look for a wound, gently pushing his sharp quills this way and that with the skill and confidence only a hedgehog could have. He relaxed and shut his eyes, protests forgotten.

Ahhhh.

“I’m not seeing any blood yet, so that’s good, at least...”

Shadow didn’t argue, too distracted by her calming tone to comment. Any pain he’d felt had already dissipated in the wake of her careful, comforting, unnecessary ministrations, ministrations that no one else on Earth would bother with for the Ultimate Lifeform. His heart swelled.

God...there’s no one like her.

All too soon, Rouge’s lower, sensual voice cut in. “Hey, Pink?” Shadow’s nose wrinkled in disappointment at the switch.

“Hmm?” Amy’s bubbly voice acknowledged the question. The gentle pressure of her fingers continued.

“You know Shadow has a healing factor, right?”

At this, her fingers did pause, making Shadow’s ear twitch in dissatisfaction. “What do you mean?”

Rouge sighed. Even without opening his eyes, Shadow could picture the way she was holding a hand to her forehead in exasperation. “It means any hits he got would’ve been healed by the time you got to him.”

“Wait...what?”

Shadow blinked his eyes open and turned to lock eyes with Amy. He covered his mouth to try and hide his fond laughter.

Realization crossed Amy’s face. She gasped, then glared with unintentional cuteness. “How long were you just going to sit there and let me do that?!”

He smirked, amused. “I didn’t want to interrupt. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

She clenched her hands into fists. “That’s—you just—oo, you make me so flustered sometimes!” She puffed out her cheeks in irritation.

So cute.

Shadow couldn’t keep the smile off his face. She let out a “hmph” and sat back on her heels. She crossed her arms. “I see how it is! I only stopped by to lend you this anyway.” She handed Shadow a book, still holding her nose in the air.

Shadow inspected the book, then perked up. “This is...”

“That book about boxercise from my shelf. I know you look at it every time you visit,” Amy finished, looking proud of herself.

Shadow looked back up and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “You caught me. That’s really perceptive of you, Amy.”

She openly preened at the compliment. “I know you like martial arts, but what’s so interesting about boxercise specifically?”

He turned the book over to glance at the summary, then looked back up at her. “I didn’t notice it when we were younger, but the more I watch you fight, the more I see just how much you incorporate it into your style. You’ve been unstoppable lately and, well...I felt inspired.”

He tried to hold back his smile, knowing he looked a little goofy, but he couldn’t quite regret it when he saw Amy’s lips spread into a wide, charming grin, cheeks tinted an endearing pink. She clasped her hands in her lap and lifted her shoulders shyly. “Thank you, Shadow. That means a lot coming from you!” He nodded, and she hopped to her feet.

Shadow stood up to join her. “So where are you headed?”

Amy dusted off her dress. “I’m hanging out with Sonic later. I need his advice on something.” She let out a sigh and laughed a little. “We’ve been getting along much better lately. It’s such a relief.”

Shadow’s eye twitched. “Ah...right. Have a good time, then.”

He tried not to look disappointed. If Amy’s confused face was any indication, he didn’t do a very good job. She shrugged and ruffled his quills, then grinned. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Shadow. Thanks for being so sweet!” She started to run off, but she stopped a little ways away to call over her shoulder, “But you better not embarrass me like that again!” She stuck out her tongue at him, grinned cheekily, and dashed off. Shadow watched her departure with a fond, dreamy smile.

“Soooo...what was that?”

Shadow jumped a little and looked up to see Rouge smirking at him. He’d completely forgotten she was there. He looked away and started fixing his quills. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mhmm. Is that why you just sat there and let Amy groom your quills?”

Shadow finished straightening them out and shrugged. “My head is covered in spines. Hedgehogs don’t get too many scalp massages.”

Rouge wasn’t convinced. “Hey, Omega, have you ever seen Shadow crush on anyone?” she asked, sounding mystified at the possibility.

“NEGATIVE. NOW UPDATING DATABASE.”

“I’m not—”

“Gotta admit, I’m a little impressed,” Rouge interrupted. “For a guy who’s never flirted before, that was pretty good. You even got her to blush! Who knew all you had to do was get hit in the head?” She scratched her chin in contemplation, making Shadow wonder how seriously she was considering the technique.

“But I wasn’t—I don’t—”

“HOW LONG AGO DID YOUR HEIGHTENED FEELINGS FOR AMY ROSE BEGIN?”

Shadow stared at him for a moment, then glanced back to Rouge’s curious face. He sighed in defeat. “It’s been a few months.”

Rouge let out an excited little noise, but Omega’s reply was what caught his attention. “INTERESTING. IT WAS AROUND THEN THAT YOUR CHAOS POWERS STARTED GETTING JAMMED. IS THIS CORRELATION OR CAUSATION?”

Rouge’s demeanor immediately turned serious. “What?”

“Ahhh...it’s not a big deal, buuut...” When they didn’t look placated, he cringed and sighed. “My Chaos abilities have always been tied to my state of mind. Sometimes when I’m upset or conflicted, it feels like some passages get blocked, and things don’t work right. Remember when Sonic and I had to fight the Biolizard in our super forms?” Rouge’s eye twitched the same way it always did when his near-death experience was brought up, but she nodded. “Amy had just reminded me of Maria’s wish, so I knew I was doing the right thing, but I’d been so sure I was supposed to destroy the Earth right up until that point that my thoughts were still twisted—by a man I’d grown to love and trust, no less. On top of that, I had to fight alongside a guy I couldn’t stand up until that point. AND we were battling my own prototype.” He rubbed his temples just thinking about it. “I felt pulled in two directions. That normally doesn’t happen because I try to stay serious and decisive, but that day, my systems didn’t work right, and we were low on rings—”

Rouge wouldn’t look at him. Omega was silent. Shadow moved on. “Anyway...I had to use my super form against Devil Doom, too, but by that point, I had a better handle on how my emotions interfere with my powers. I was just pissed by then, so I had no trouble staying single-minded that time. I could’ve flown around the whole planet with how purely indignant I was.”

He jumped when Rouge grabbed his shoulders. “Shadow the hedgehog, why the hell didn’t you tell me that?! Do you have any idea how terrified I was when you went super and flew into space like that again? I thought I’d lost—”

She stalled out, unable to finish her sentence. Her nails were digging into Shadow’s shoulders even through her gloves. He ignored the pain and calmly replied, “I didn’t know you well enough at the time. That’s why I’m telling you now.” He shut his eyes. “You know how I am about weaknesses.”

After a moment, Rouge sighed and withdrew one of her hands to point right at his nose. “Shadow, you can’t just walk around like this. You need your Chaos powers. What if you run into trouble again?”

Shadow went cross-eyed looking at her finger. He scoffed and brushed her hands away. “It’ll be fine once I get over Amy. You know I don’t get crushes...often.” Rouge and Omega’s silence spoke volumes. “And who’s going to give me trouble? Eggman’s been out of commission for years. Zavok and his gang mellowed out. Anyone else who’s stupid enough to mess with me is either arrested or dead.”

“SHADOW. AS MUCH AS I ENJOY COMPLETELY OBLITERATING YOU IN COMBAT, ROUGE HAS A POINT. YOU WILL BE VULNERABLE UNTIL THIS IS SORTED OUT. CONSIDERING YOUR HISTORY, I FEEL...CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELLBEING.”

Shadow blinked a few times, baffled. Omega, feeling concerned? He pressed his lips together. “Well...fine, but how am I supposed to do that? All I can do is wait it out.”

“I STILL DO NOT SEE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR AMY ROSE AND A CONFLICTED STATE OF MIND. IT SEEMS SIMPLE TO ME. YOU WANT TO MARRY HER, CORRECT? ASK HER TO MARRY YOU.”

Rouge cracked up laughing, and Shadow sputtered, “Wha—no! I don’t! I mean, maybe someda—no! It’s just a crush, Omega! We’re not even dating!”

“SO GO ON A DATE SO YOU CAN ASK HER TO MARRY YOU.”

Shadow groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Rouge got the last of her laughter out of the way and leaned on Omega’s shoulder. “Might be a bit soon for that, but the big guy’s got a point, Shadow. Why not just ask her out?”

Shadow side-eyed her. “You’re kidding, right? Amy has always loved Sonic. She doesn’t like me.”

Rouge glanced down at the book in Shadow’s hands, clearly skeptical. “Are you sure...?”

“Of course I’m sure. What do you mean?”

“Let’s see...you ‘make her flustered,’ she observed you enough to lend you a book you liked and then came all the way over here just to give it to you, you made her blush...” she pointed out with a knowing smile.

Shadow crossed his arms and looked away. “That’s just Amy. She’s sweet and thoughtful with everyone.”

Rouge sighed. “I still think it’s worth a shot. Even if you get rejected, that’ll at least plant the idea in her head and help you sort out some of these conflicted feelings. The worst she can say is ‘no.’”

“No, the worst thing is that it could ruin our friendship. We’ve been hanging out a lot lately, and...she means a lot to me.” He looked away.

“So what’s your plan for your Chaos powers, then?”

“I’ll think of something.” Unwilling to continue the uncomfortable discussion, he added, “I have to get going. Chaos—” He stopped. Remembering how off-course he’d wound up the last time he used Chaos Control, he shut his mouth and decided to hoof it instead.

Before he could run off, Rouge piped up. “By the way...didn’t Amy say she’d ‘see you tomorrow?’ Where are you two headed, Casanova?”

Shadow pressed his lips together. “Don’t get excited, it’s not a date. We’re going out as friends.”

Rouge crossed her arms and shot him an unimpressed look. “You’re just going to take her out and pretend it’s a date, aren’t you?”

He narrowed his eyes, and her smug grin widened. “...That’s none of your business,” he grumbled, skating off. He could hear them laughing in the distance.

Shadow chose to run to his destination the next day to calm his remaining nerves, which might’ve worked if he could run full speed. The slight tug holding him back wouldn’t have been noticeable to anyone else, but it was enough to make him wish he’d taken his motorcycle instead. Thankfully, he was still on time...barely.

“Cutting it close, huh, Shadow? That’s not like you,” Amy teased. She wore a casual yellow dress, a white sunhat, and a charming smile.

Shadow tried to breathe evenly through his nose so she wouldn’t notice how out of breath he was. “Good to see you, Amy. You’re dressed for the occasion.” He paused, then hurriedly added, “You look cute.”

Before he could regret the comment or worry that his feelings were showing, she brightened up. “Thanks! I love this outfit!” She wiggled her toes in her canvas sneakers. “I know you said we’d be doing a lot of walking, but I didn’t know we’d be going to the Westopolis Botanical Gardens. I’m so excited!”

Her enthusiasm was contagious. Shadow felt an easy smile cross his face as he led the way to the entrance. “So you really didn’t look it up, then?”

She shook her head. “I just followed the address you gave me. I didn’t want to ruin your surprise. This was such a good idea!”

Shadow felt his heart grow soft again. He chuckled softly. “That’s something I really like about you.”

“Huh?”

“I like how straightforward and honest you are,” Shadow clarified. “There’s no sneakiness with you. I can plan a surprise—” Not a date. “—hangout, and I know you won’t pry or feel tempted to snoop around for answers if I ask you not to.” His smile turned bittersweet. “I haven’t met enough people who are that honest and trusting. I really cherish it when I do.”

She was silent for long enough to make him worry that he’d gotten too intense over something so small, but when he looked over, her eyes were shining. She gave him a crooked smile. “Of course. Every good relationship is built on trust.”

Shadow’s heart pounded. He folded his ears back shyly at her word choice. “Y-yeah.” He gulped and tentatively held out his arm as they walked under the colorful canopy of flowers that formed the gate to the gardens. She happily linked her arm with his in response, and he had to resist the urge to let out a sigh of happiness. Contrary to popular belief, Shadow was quite fond of physical contact, and no friend of Amy’s was at risk of feeling touch-starved. The fact that linking arms made them look like a couple was only the icing on the cake for Shadow.

“So what made you choose this place?” Amy asked, her eyes darting eagerly along the flowers over their heads.

I wanted to take you rock climbing to impress you, but with my strength failing me, I definitely would have embarrassed myself.

“I had a few ideas, but then I remembered Westopolis added this place when they started rebuilding after the Black Arms’ attack. That...situation...doesn’t bring back great memories for me,” he managed with difficulty, “but it brought rebirth. It’s poetic that so much life could grow out of such an ugly situation, isn’t it?”

There was silence for a moment. He looked down at Amy, only to find she was staring at him, almost in...awe? He cocked his head. “Uh...Amy?”

She snapped out of it and shook herself off. “Right! Um...I just...” She bit her lip and looked away shyly. “I just think...you, ah...love flowers as much as I do! That’s all!”

If Amy were anyone else, Shadow would have thought she looked smitten. He chose to ignore her feelings for Sonic in favor of enjoying the moment.

“It’s great that such a nice place is free, too,” Amy continued. “You’re a cheap date, huh?”

He almost tripped at her words. “Ah, y-yeah. It’s nice.”

The two of them stepped out from under the floral canopy into a large clearing. Amy gasped at their surroundings. In the center of the open area was a clear pond. Shadow could see small fish and a few turtles swimming among the reeds and lily pads. A small waterfall fed into it from a sandstone rock formation. Branches hung low from wisteria trees, shading the clearing like lavender curtains. A wooden walkway ran along the outer edge and continued past the glade to connect it with the rest of the picturesque garden.

Amy pulled away to run over onto the walkway. Her grin was radiant. “This is so beautiful!”

Shadow strode over more slowly as he admired the scene, smiling softly at her enthused reaction. “I’m glad you like it. It really is nice, isn’t it?”

She nodded happily, and then her eyes lit up. “I have an idea!” She jogged along the walkway until she was right next to the rock formation. She placed a hand against it and grinned as he caught up to her. “We could get a better view from up there, don’t you think?”

Shadow scratched his chin and eyed the rocks nervously. “Are we supposed to go up there?”

Amy’s grin turned mischievous. She held her hands behind her back in false innocence and dug her toe into the ground cutely. “Wellll, I don’t see a sign, do you?”

Shadow smirked back. “You of all people, bending the rules? Who are you, and what have you done with Amy Rose?”

She snickered and dragged him over by his wrist. “Maybe you’ve been rubbing off on me a little,” she teased, winking over her shoulder. Shadow’s stomach did a flip.

Unfortunately, it flipped once again when he looked up at the rocks. I specifically chose this because it wasn’t rock climbing. What the hell happened?!

“Uh, Earth to Shadow?”

Shadow shook himself off to see Amy giving him a disapproving look. “Sorry. What?”

She nodded to the rock wall. “You’re not really going to send me up first, are you?”

Shadow cocked his head in confusion. She’s always been a leader. Why would she be nervous about... Then, she glanced down at her outfit and gave him a meaningful look. His eyes popped wide open, and he folded his ears back awkwardly. “Right. Dress. Got it.”

Shadow turned back to the wall and did his best to choke back his nerves before starting to climb. The going was slow; he still had some of his strength, but he definitely wasn’t in any shape to flip a truck the way he usually could. He grimaced and held in a grunt as he lifted himself without any of the ease he typically had.

Is this how normal people go through life? My Chao can climb faster than this!

He’d been hoping Amy wouldn’t notice, but those hopes were dashed when he saw her catch up to climb alongside him. He didn’t look to the side, afraid of the expression he’d find on her face. Concern? Sympathy? Judgment?

Well...probably not that last one, he reasoned. He focused on keeping his grip instead. The handholds weren’t too tough, but with the limited visibility and sandy texture of the wall, the footholds were more of a problem. His legs shook from nerves and fatigue. At least an indoor rock wall would’ve had solid holds built into it.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his right foot slipped. The sudden lack of support wrenched his right hand off the wall as well. Panic gripped him. “Shi—”

“GOTCHA!”

Shadow’s eyes were clenched shut. He blinked them open to find Amy was slightly higher than him on the wall—though still low enough for modesty’s sake—holding herself up with one hand while hanging onto his wrist with the other. He hung there for a moment, thrown off and embarrassed, before she cut in. “Come on, it’s okay! We’re almost there!”

Shadow wilted and hurriedly put his foot in a more secure spot. He grabbed the wall again with her help and looked away. “Thanks.” He could see her nod and smile encouragingly.

Shadow hid his panting as best he could once he’d scrambled up to the top with her. He sat facing the garden and looked down at his lap, toying with his fingers bashfully. “Thanks again.”

Amy plopped down next to Shadow and kept her gaze on him. “It’s no problem, but you looked really uncomfortable on the way up. Are you alright?”

Shadow tried to brush it off, not liking her worried expression. “It’s nothing. My foot just slipped.”

“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have dragged you up here,” she added, clearly unconvinced. “I know Blaze is afraid of heights, so I watch out for her, too. Just let me know if you’re not comfortable doing something, okay?”

Shadow shrugged and smiled wryly. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about when someone as strong as you is with me. All that hammer swinging has really paid off,” he praised, hoping a compliment would diffuse the tension.

It worked. Amy grinned proudly and flexed one of her impressive biceps. “You’re damn right!”

He nodded, satisfied, and looked down at the scenery. “And you were right. It’s beautiful up here.”

Amy sighed dreamily. “It really is.” She paused for a moment before perking up. “Hey, they have your favorites!” she said, pointing to a sunny corner where lavender was shooting up from the ground.

Shadow’s eyes widened in surprise. “You remember?”

Amy snorted and waved it off. “As if I’d forget something like that! How can I live up to my name if I can’t even remember your favorite flower?”

“It does make sense,” Shadow agreed, trying to hide how flattered he was. He deliberated briefly before throwing caution to the wind. “And this place suits you, too. A rose is always at home in a garden.”

Amy stared at him for a moment, then hid her face behind her hands. Her body started shaking, and Shadow could hear her break down in laughter at the sentiment. He smirked. She tore one of her hands away to lightly shove him. “That was so cheesy!” she managed through her cackles.

Shadow chuckled softly. He admired the way her cheeks flushed red and her eyes watered from laughter. “I hope it wasn’t too painful.”

She shook her head, still laughing, and bumped her head against his shoulder. “I loved it.”

She shuffled closer and linked her arm with his once more. Shadow’s heart raced, then gradually slowed to a calm warmth at the contact. He rested his chin on top of her head. His mood soured a little when he thought of his own dishonest intentions about the “date,” but he reasoned to himself that his inner feelings weren’t what mattered so long as they were both having fun.

“I’ve always wanted to go to one of these,” Amy commented after a while.

She didn’t add anything else, but Shadow could guess what she meant. “Let me guess: you always wanted to take Sonic on a date here, but he never wanted to go?”

Amy suddenly pulled away. When Shadow looked over, her expression was indignant. “I wasn’t going to say that!”

Shadow just blinked, unsure of what to say. Amy huffed and shook her head. “Why would I go on about Sonic when I’m out with you? That’s rude!”

Shadow frowned, now fully confused. She’s mentioned Sonic around me a million times. It’s what she does. She has toned it down recently, I guess, but still... Unsure of what else to say, Shadow settled on a joke to try and lighten the mood. “Well, I hope I’m a decent replacement, at least.” He tried to smile, but it came out as a cringe.

Amy looked...hurt? Confused? Angry? Shadow couldn’t read her for the life of him. “I’d never compare the two of you.”

Shadow’s expression went flat. He stared off into space, completely stumped. What the hell does that mean?!

After a moment, Amy’s nose wrinkled cutely. “Do you want to get down from here?” she ventured, perplexed and concerned by his response.

Shadow snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah. There’s a lot more to this place.”

“Alright!”

The two spent the rest of the day admiring everything they could. The place was big enough that Amy insisted they’d have to come back another day to see it all, a suggestion that made Shadow’s heart soar. Much to Amy’s excitement, Shadow pointed out that the greenhouse close to the exit housed an adjoining aviary that he knew she’d like, and he was right; Shadow spent a great deal of time enjoying the sight of all the Flickies flocking around Amy the same way they always seemed to. Between their mutual love for nature, their easy rapport, and the way she appreciated his overly intense demeanor and sentiments in a way no one else did, Shadow couldn’t help but spend all day thinking of how perfect they’d be as a couple.

But we won’t.

And that divide messed with him all day. The rock climbing was the worst of it, but he tripped over seemingly nothing a few times because his muscles weren’t working right. He almost fell into one of the ponds when Amy told him how much fun she always had when they were together. She caught him in time, saving him once more and teasingly saying, “Don’t fall!”

Too late, he thought wryly as he gazed into her caring eyes.

“We have to go out again soon, Shadow. That was super fun!” Amy hugged him tightly.

Shadow’s heart thumped for the umpteenth time that day. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “Yeah. Definitely.” When’s the last time anyone said that about a day with me? There really is no one like her. He reluctantly pulled away. “I’ll call you to plan the next one. I’ll see you soon—”

“Hold on!”

Shadow paused at the command. “Huh?”

Amy was holding her hands behind her back. She had a charming smile on her face. “Are you really gonna make me take the bus home?”

Shadow’s eyes widened. Nausea boiled in his gut at the thought of using Chaos Control in his current state. “Uhhh...”

Amy’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

Shadow flinched and returned to her side. “Nothing, I just...spaced out for a second.” He tried to ignore the light, giddy feeling he got when she took his hand. He closed his eyes and mentally sifted through his usual locations, only to find that they all looked even fuzzier than last time. A veneer of static obscured each one, as if they were weak stations on an old TV. He gritted his teeth and tried to go by how they felt instead, narrowing it down to the locations he associated with Amy. A familiar, domestic setting surfaced that had Amy’s aura all over it. He nodded. Here goes nothing...

“Chaos...Control!”

The yanking sensation he’d grown so used to was rougher this time, like they were being jostled through a usually smooth path. Shadow clenched his eyes shut. Please, please, please...!

The feeling stopped more abruptly than usual, almost making Shadow stumble. Before he could open his eyes, Amy’s amused voice floated in.

“Uh, Shadow? This is a little fast for me,” she laughed.

“Huh?”

Shadow looked around and blanched in horror when he realized he’d teleported them into his bedroom. “WRONG ONE! I WASN’T—JUST A SECOND! CHAOS CONTROL!” he sputtered past her laughter.

His hasty attempt landed them outside one of their favorite restaurants. He cringed.

“Well, I am kinda hungry. Is this your way of trying to spend more time with me?”

Shadow’s panic only grew at her teasing tone. “No, no! I’ve got it! Chaos Control!”

They appeared outside their favorite Chao store this time. While Amy cooed over the adorable Chao stumbling around in the front window, Shadow stopped and bent over, panting and sweating.

After a moment, he felt Amy take both of his hands. “Shadow? What’s wrong?”

Shadow slowly looked up at her. Her expression was twisted with concern for him. His limbs shook. “I’ll get you back! I can do it! Chaos...”

“Shadow, wait! I’m worried about you!”

“...Control!”

“Shadow!”

Just then, Shadow saw it. A flicker of static faded, leaving Amy’s porch clear as day for an instant. He headed straight for it with determination, but Amy’s scared words reverberated in his head, the care and love she’d shown for him yanking his mind off his task. The distraction swiftly jerked him off course, sending them down a rickety path to a much, much darker locale.

There was no smooth landing this time. The two of them fell in a heap. Shadow groaned and rubbed his forehead, then looked around. He twitched and instantly shut his eyes again. He tried to sift through the locations in his head again.

But every single one was blank. No pictures, no static, no pathways.

Shadow lifted himself up onto his hands and knees, drenched in cold sweat and fear. “I can’t do it.”

“What?”

He sat back on his heels and held himself. “I can’t use Chaos Control anymore. We’re trapped here.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and trembled, stuck in an internal cycle of fear, humiliation, guilt, and self-loathing.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, and a calm voice guided him out of his stupor. “Hey...Shadow? It’s alright! We’re going to be okay!” He anxiously peeked up at her reassuring smile. “We’ll get out of this. I know we will.”

“But—”

Amy cut off any protests by pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay.” She gently scratched his scalp, and he relaxed just as he had the day before.

After a long moment, she pulled back and looked into his eyes, still holding onto his shoulders. “What’s wrong, Shadow? What can I do to help?”

Shadow took a few deep breaths. I can’t tell her it’s nothing, but I can’t tell her everything, either. He bit his lip. “I’ve been having trouble with my Chaos energy recently. It doesn’t always work right.”

“Why? Do you know what’s wrong with it?”

He paused. “I’m...still working on that part.” She sighed and deflated. He lifted his shoulders, embarrassed. “I never meant to drag you into it like this, and I especially didn’t mean to drag you...here...”

Both of them examined their grim surroundings. Decrepit old castles stretched out along the horizon. The sky was a turbulent, cloudy blood red, and dull orange mist settled over the area. It was chilly but uncomfortably humid, and not even the slightest gust could be felt, as if the air itself was dead, frozen in time since they’d last been there.

Shadow clenched his fists. “Of course I got you stuck in Cryptic Castle, of all places! I couldn’t have stranded you in a worse place!”

“Eh.” Amy shrugged in a way Shadow felt was far too casual for their circumstances. She stood up and helped him to his feet. “It’s not so bad. At least someone can pick us up, right?” He tilted his head while she took out her phone. She typed something out, then waited. Her expression gradually soured.

“What are you up to?”

She smiled wryly. “I tried to text Sonic and Silver to see if they could warp us out of here, but there’s no service. Worth a shot, right?”

With another escape route cut off, Shadow deflated even further. She noticed and reached out to hold one of his hands in both of hers. “Hey! I told you we’d be alright, and I meant it!” she reassured him once more. “We survived this place just fine when we were 12 and 15. We can definitely handle this as adults.”

Her chipper, steadfast smile cut through Shadow’s doubts, even as his pessimistic side reminded him that he’d had Chaos powers last time. She started dashing along the rampart in front of them, pulling him along with her. “Come on! I think I remember the way.”

Things went alright at first. He had no problem grinding on the rails, and he could still ride the pumpkin balloons like last time. The two scanned the landscape as the balloon took them farther. Without Eggman’s robots and the Black Arms, Cryptic Castle felt empty. Shadow knew he should have felt relieved about that, but he couldn’t help but feel unsettled. He shivered and decided it was just his Chaos troubles and bad memories.

At Amy’s direction, they dropped down from the balloon, only to fall through a tunnel full of ghosts.

“EEEEEEK!”

Amy latched onto Shadow as they fell. He smirked. “Don’t tell me you’re still afraid of ghosts.”

She glared up at him. “I am NOT interested in getting possessed again.”

They landed, and Shadow did a double-take. “Wait...‘again’?”

“It’s a long story.”

She dashed off. He could still keep up with her even with his sputtering stream of Chaos energy, but he’d be hard-pressed to say he was faster. Luckily, he didn’t have to admit he couldn’t break down doors and open the heavy false floors anymore because Amy immediately volunteered to do so, happy to demonstrate how far she’d come since she was a kid. Some routes had been blocked off by crumbling ramparts and fallen towers, but they found other ways. Shadow was actually feeling better with the progress they’d made until they hit a dead end...or at least, what should have been a dead end.

Shadow and Amy both stopped in front of a trail of red and purple fluid leading up to a higher platform. Amy made a disgusted noise, and Shadow frowned. “I can’t believe this slime has persisted so long. It’s been ten years now. Shouldn’t it have disintegrated?”

Amy held up her hands. “Don’t look at me, you’re the alien expert!” she joked.

Shadow shrugged, unable to argue with that. “Maybe nothing on Earth can break it down.”

He jumped into the slime trail to follow it up to a higher platform. After some hesitation, Amy followed, then shivered when she popped out next to him. “Eugh. At least those disgusting eyeball aliens are gone!”

“Still grossed out by those things, all these years later?” He shook his head fondly and kept running alongside her. “Some things never change.”

“Can you blame me?!” she protested. “They were giant living eyeballs with fangs! And the way they moved was just...UGH! Gross!” She wrung her hands out as she ran.

“Those were technically my kin, you know,” Shadow pointed out, charmed by her antics. “You don’t think I’m gross, right?”

“Of course not. You’re my favorite alien, Shadow!”

It was probably supposed to be a joke, but her charming smile and the silly compliment attached to it made him tip forward and fall on his face. He slid to a stop, then lifted his head and grumbled. Don’t tell me...

“Shadow, are you alright?! What happened?”

Instead of answering, Shadow rolled onto his back and lifted one of his feet. He focused on it, and it produced a quick yellow-orange flicker, only to fade out immediately. He knocked his heel against the stones beneath him and tried again. Nothing. His fists clenched.

“Shadow?” Amy tried again.

Shadow closed his eyes and stayed quiet. He waited another moment before looking up to see that Amy was reaching out her hand. He nodded and let her pull him to his feet, needing her strength more than he was willing to admit. He started moving forward again, manually reminding himself not to skate.

Amy’s eyes were wide with intrigue. “I’ve never seen you actually run before. Not like this.”

Shadow kept his gaze straight ahead, trying to ignore the way she was clearly holding back her speed so he could keep pace with her. “I fuel the rockets in my shoes with Chaos energy. When it comes to literally running, I’m out of practice.” His expression tightened. “I hardly ever think about it, but everything about me runs off Chaos energy. Without it, I’m—”

“Shadow the hedgehog, hero to the world and one of my favorite people,” Amy cut in, nodding definitively. “Your power isn’t who you are.”

“But everything I’ve ever done—”

“No buts!” she insisted, holding up a finger. “I was weak when I came here the first time, but I was still Amy Rose, just like I am now!”

Shadow slowly nodded. “Yeah. And I’m glad you were, because it took Amy Rose to turn me around that day.” She matched his warm smile with her own.

The two of them ran through the doorway of a much larger castle. They slowed down to take a look around. “Is this a dead end?” Amy asked, squinting around the dark room. “I know it’s been a while, but I definitely don’t remember a castle this big from last time.”

Shadow meandered toward a corner, feeling the floor creak under his shoes as he walked. The distant echoes were the only indicators of the sheer size of the room. Shadow strained his eyes in the dim light, just managing to make out various pieces of furniture—a decrepit old chair here, an overstuffed old couch there. Turning toward the dark wall on his right, he spotted a collection of objects. Once he got close, he recognized it as a pile of bones. He took a step back and stared down at it. His jaw clenched. I didn’t see any signs of life on the way in. How long have these been here, and how did they die...? The question hung unanswered in his head as he looked around, seeing more and more piles as he went—all humanoid. I should get Amy out of here. If she saw these, she’d freak out, he thought, focusing on Amy’s discomfort to avoid thinking of his own.

Then, he felt it.

A dark presence wormed into his mind, bringing an unpleasant, unnerving chill he hadn’t felt in ten years. His spines stood on end. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. Pins and needles spread over his body, leaving him shuddering with an intense dread that warned him he was somewhere he shouldn’t be. He struggled to breathe for a few long moments, then snapped out of it and bolted to Amy’s side. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him.

“Amy. We need to leave. NOW.”

She nodded silently, apparently sensing that now wasn’t the time to question him. They’d only taken two steps toward the door when sinister, invasive laughter erupted in Shadow’s head. He and Amy both flinched and stopped, and he could tell by the look on Amy’s face that the telepathy had been extended to her, too. They stared fearfully into each other’s eyes for another second before simultaneously sprinting for the exit. They were only a few steps away when a heavy door slammed shut in front of them, plunging the room into darkness. Amy took out her hammer and repeatedly bashed at the door, but it was far sturdier than the ones they’d broken through before.

“What’s the rush, little hedgehogs? You’re about to witness history.”

Shadow’s body shook as he and Amy turned toward the center of the room. Three red eyes blinked open, providing the only light in the room.

“Sh-shadow...is that...”

A frigid, whistling gust of wind blasted them from all sides, making them flinch and shiver. It died down as soon as it started, and Shadow opened his eyes with trepidation to find a ring of torches mounted on the walls lit with ghostly, pale blue flames. Shadow’s chest tightened painfully when the low light revealed someone he’d assumed he would never encounter again, one who he was woefully unprepared to deal with at the moment.

Shadow automatically stepped in front of Amy to protect her, powers or not. He swallowed with difficulty. “Black Doom? How?! I destroyed you years ago!”

Low, condescending laughter echoed in Shadow’s head, making him wince. “How quaint. You think you’re the only being capable of Chaos Control! Have you forgotten where you got your abilities in the first place?”

Shadow’s eyes widened. “But...that’s impossible! I blasted you! I saw the explosion!”

“You saw the explosion...” Black Doom’s eye flashed a foot from Shadow’s face quickly enough to make both hedgehogs backpedal a few steps. “...but did you see my body afterward, Shadow? You cannot avoid the truth!”

Shadow gritted his teeth, unable to deny it. He took a deep breath and stood up straight once more, unwilling to show his enemy an ounce of fear. He tried to keep his voice steady as he snapped, “What are you here for, Black Doom? Your army is finished! Your comet is destroyed! You’ve been hiding away for ten years in this ruined castle like a scared cockroach. You have nothing!” he finished, sweeping his hand to the side in a decisive motion.

Doom’s unsettling laughter returned. His body flickered out briefly, but it glowed more brightly as his eye shot back behind him. “A decade is nothing to a perfect, immortal being like myself. I may have lacked the means to return to full power thus far, but that is about to change...and I have you to thank for it, Shadow the hedgehog.”

Shadow shuddered at Black Doom’s words. He could hear Amy’s concerned whimper behind him. He hid his apprehension behind a show of bravado. “What are you rambling about now, Black Doom? Don’t waste my time!”

“Don’t you know? The bigger my army, the more power I can draw from them. I can gain all the strength I need by draining Chaos energy from my subjects, right down to the last drop.”

Amy’s disgusted, indignant voice rang out. “You’d feed off your own people? That’s horrible!”

“Typical inferior life form. A leader of a truly superior race does whatever is necessary to survive.”

Shadow felt the same disgust as Amy, but he choked it back and grinned smugly instead. “News flash, Black Doom: I obliterated every one of your spawn! You’ve got no one left to feed on!”

The voice in Shadow’s head turned snide and giddy, rising in pitch and making Shadow’s skin crawl. Black Doom’s body faded out for a moment. “Oh, you poor fool...naive, ignorant fool! How wrong you are!” His body flickered back in, looking more solid than ever. “One of my offspring does live...and he has just saved me the trouble of hunting him down!”

Shadow’s heart stopped for a moment, and his eyes went wide. Doom’s hand sped in his direction to try and grab him.

“Shadow!” Amy cried, grabbing his arm and yanking him out of the way. She dragged him behind one of the dilapidated couches and knocked it over so they could use it as cover. She pulled him down and crouched beside him.

“Are you alright?!” she hissed, taking his face in her hands. When he nodded, she let out a breath of relief. She looked back up at Black Doom. “We need to be careful, but he’s weaker than before! You can see his body flickering and fading out every so often, can’t you?” Shadow hesitated but nodded once more, and she gave him a confident smile. “He’s weak! We can do this, Shadow! Together!”

Shadow wasn’t so confident. He winced. “But...I...”

“Relying on a lower life form for protection? You have only grown more pitiful with time, Shadow. Absorbing you will be an act of charity. Swift Strike!”

Remembering how to deal with the ground-bound attack from their last bout, Shadow listened for the low swiping sound it made and turned to Amy. “We need to jump in three...two...one...NOW!”

Both of them leapt into the air on Shadow’s mark. The sickle-shaped projectile sliced through the couch they’d been using as a shield. Amy was right; in Doom’s weakened state, the attack moved so slowly that it could hardly be called “swift.” Even with Shadow’s hampered speed and strength, he cleared it without any trouble. In his pride at having dodged the attack, however, he failed to notice the way it bounced off the wall behind him. Amy noticed the movement in time to evade it with a hammer-jump, but it swept Shadow off his feet and bolted painfully through his nerves. Pain seared through his muscles, making them lock up.

Amy was by his side in an instant. She took him in her arms and helped him sit up. He groaned and held a hand to his head. “This was a lot easier last time.”

“Why? Because Sonic was with you to help out?”

“HAH!” Shadow barked in amusement. “No, Sonic was useless. Last time, I had a submachine gun.”

“Take this! Flame Wave!”

The attack was too swift for either of them to get out of the way this time. Knowing what was coming, Shadow turned his back to the fireball and pulled Amy into his arms to protect her. He gritted his teeth to hold back his cry of agony as the flames seared his flesh, eyes going wide and watering in pain. Amy gasped and cried out into his chest fur.

“Shadow...Shadow, no! Why’d you do that?!”

Her voice was shaking. When she looked up, he could see tears in her eyes. “I’ll heal!” he blurted. “You don’t have a healing factor like I do. I’ll be alright!”

But the burning in his back didn’t subside. The two of them ran to the side to avoid further fireballs. He knew his healing factor wasn’t working right, and judging by the sound of Amy’s strained whimper, she knew it, too.

While the two of them were busy dodging the main body’s attacks, Doom’s Eye flew into their path to try and intercept them. They flinched, but then Amy cried out, “SLIDE!” She used her momentum to slide under their opponent. Shadow instantly followed her command, narrowly avoiding the eye’s grasping arms as they lashed downward, splintering the floorboards behind him. He peeked fearfully over his shoulder.

Since when do the body and the eye attack at the same time?! He may be weak, but he’s just as dangerous as ever!

Amy yanked him to his feet and clung onto his arm harshly as she pulled him along. “Shadow, we need to take him out. We have to before—” Her words got caught in her throat, so she moved on. “What’s his weakness? What’s the best way to take him out?”

Shadow breathed heavily and tried to quell his panic at the unfamiliar sensation of prolonged pain from the burn on his back. “His...his body isn’t always tangible. It fades in and out. His eye is much more vulnerable.”

“Got it.”

“BEGONE!”

Doom’s loudest shout yet reverberated in Shadow’s overwhelmed mind, making him stop in his tracks. Amy pivoted and doubled back. She stood her ground in front of Shadow, brandishing her hammer once more. As Black Doom fired small violet meteors at them, Amy skillfully deflected each one with powerful swings. After the first few, she successfully started knocking them at Doom’s Eye with deadly accuracy. The eye zigzagged deftly to avoid the first few, but Amy adapted, anticipating its movements. It shrieked in agony once the meteors started hitting their mark. His body stopped immediately and phased forward to loom over her.

“What is this life form, Shadow? Some kind of pet?”

Doom’s snide tone and words made Shadow want to tear him to shreds, but Amy spoke up first. “Who do you think you are?! You’ve seen me before!”

“As if I would remember such a lowly creature. You will pay for your impudence!”

With that, Doom’s Eye rushed forward. It raced forward and phased right through its own body, then emerged to hang over them, arms outstretched. When it lashed out, Amy swung her hammer forward in a desperate attempt to defend herself. The eye latched onto the head of her hammer and flew straight upward, making Amy scream in alarm.

“AMY!”

Shadow was powerless to help as she was lifted out of reach. Even at his full strength, he couldn’t have jumped nearly high enough to reach her. She held on tight to the handle of her hammer and looked down in terror, knowing a fall from that height could seriously injure her...or worse. Shadow felt himself quiver in panic and helplessness.

Black Doom’s body struck before Shadow could even see it. His clawed hand wrapped painfully around Shadow, pinning his arms to his sides. It slammed him high up against a wall, breaking off several planks of wood. Shadow barely registered the distant sound of the planks colliding with the floor far below him. He groaned, dazed.

“Now, the ritual can commence at last,” Black Doom said, his tone menacing. “I have been looking forward to this moment every day since your betrayal.”

Shadow struggled weakly in his grasp and frantically tried to think of a way out. I don’t have my strength. I don’t have my speed. No Chaos Control, no Chaos Spears...I have plenty of energy, but all my channels are blocked. Even if I took off my limiters, I still couldn’t access it! He’d never felt so helpless in his life. He could see Amy hanging on stubbornly below him, but he knew her grip couldn’t last forever. She looked up at him, eyes plaintive. He could see her mouth the word ‘sorry,’ as if it were somehow her fault that they’d wound up like this. His heart broke.

He snapped out of it when the clawed hand tightened its grip, making Shadow gasp in pain. Black Doom spoke up once more, his tone growing more insidious with every word. “I want you to know that I’m going to savor every moment of your suffering. I hope you spend your last moments thinking of just how weak you’ve become.”

With that, Shadow snapped. Determination raged through his veins. “You’re wrong, Black Doom. I will never be weak.”

“What?”

Shadow stared him down, fearless and confident. “I am Shadow the hedgehog, the ultimate lifeform. And I DO NOT. GIVE. UP.”

With that, Shadow bared his fangs and did the only thing he could think of.

“OWWWW!” Black Doom screeched, immediately dropping Shadow. “You insolent little—did you just bite me?!”

Shadow ignored his cries and kicked off the wall as hard as he could. He ripped off his gloves as he plummeted, then slashed his claws across Doom’s Eye. It let out an earsplitting screech and released Amy’s hammer. Shadow latched onto one of her feet as they fell. “Propeller hammer, propeller hammer!”

She followed his hasty directions and immediately spun her body like a top to slow their descent. Shadow landed lightly on the ground and caught Amy in his arms as she fell the rest of the way. They stayed that way for a moment, panting and trying to calm down. Eventually, Amy looked up at him and let out a dizzy, breathless laugh. He couldn’t help but follow suit.

“You have defied me for the last time!” Doom roared, making them jump. His eye was squinting and cringing next to him, trying to shake off the hit. “I gave you life! I gave you strength! You would be nothing but a powerless whelp without me. What gives you the nerve to turn against me?”

“My strength lies elsewhere, Black Doom.” Shadow breathed deeply for a few moments. He braced himself, squared his shoulders, and declared, “And I will never, ever let you hurt the woman I love!”

“What?!”

Immediately, Shadow felt the channels of his body unlock. Chaos energy flooded through his veins, nerves, and muscles. He felt life and vitality race through him, and a tingling sensation tickled his back, erasing the pain from the burn. His entire body fizzled with warmth. Shadow breathed out slowly, then opened his eyes. He didn’t look down at Amy’s expression, afraid he’d lose his resolve.

Excess Chaos energy sparked over his body, making his fur stand on end. He felt it run over and through him, begging to be let out. He stared Black Doom down and gave him one last heated glare. “It’s time to finish what I started ten years ago. Chaos...BLAST!”

Energy ripped its way out of Shadow, flying out of him faster than the eye could see. Windows shattered, walls splintered, and support beams snapped like matchsticks from the blast. The heavy door was blown off its hinges. Black Doom barely had the chance to yell before he was burnt to a crisp, eye and all. Shadow carefully watched the explosion incinerate his foe, ensuring there truly wasn’t anything left this time.

“Uh, Shadow?!”

Amy’s frantic tone reminded him of their location. He turned on his heel and sprinted out the door as the roof creaked and caved in. Rafters and ceiling boards fell behind him, flanking his escape as his speed finally returned to him. He skated furiously along the ramparts leading away from the collapsing castle and shouted, “CHAOS...CONTROL!”

Shadow skidded to a stop just outside Amy’s house, letting out a relieved exhale when he found he’d gotten it right at last. He only snapped out of it when he heard Amy’s own breathless laugh. He flinched when he realized their position.

“Ah—sorry! Sorry, I...” He trailed off and gently placed her back on her feet.

She giggled. “I don’t mind.”

The last few minutes came rushing back in for Shadow. He twitched in embarrassment. “Uh, about that...that thing I said...I didn’t mean—I mean, I did. I just—!”

“Shadow, it’s okay!” Amy insisted, holding up her hands and smiling awkwardly.

“No, I know it’s not!” he jumped in. Now that Amy wasn’t in his arms, he found he had nothing to do with his hands, so he held them behind his back. “I know you don’t—well, everyone knows you like Sonic.”

“Shadow.”

“No! I—I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I can—”

Before he knew it, Amy had taken his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. Floored, Shadow froze. After a few seconds, he slowly recovered and returned the kiss. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do, so he gingerly placed his hands on her hips and matched her warm, reassuring motions as best he could.

She pulled away all too soon and pressed her forehead against his. She giggled shyly.

He gaped like a fish. “Uhhh...so...”

She rested her arms on his shoulders and grinned. “I like you, too.”

His eyes were wide. “You do...?”

She snickered and nodded, biting her lip in amusement. “Of course! How could I not?”

He pulled his head back. “And...you knew I liked you, too?” he asked, glancing away in embarrassment.

She held a hand over her mouth to hide her laughter. “People always tell me you’re hard to read, but you’re kind of obvious about this.”

He cringed in defeat. “Yeah. I’m kind of new to this. Dating, I mean.”

“Honestly? So am I,” Amy admitted with a shrug. “That’s why I asked Sonic for advice.”

Shadow side-eyed her, amused. “Sonic, giving you love advice?”

Amy toyed with her fingers and smirked. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? But I got over him a few months ago, and we’ve been getting along much better since then.”

“Ohhhhh...that explains a lot.” Shadow sighed. When he noticed Amy was looking at him oddly, he scratched the back of his neck and moved on. “So what was the advice?”

“Well, you know how you and I have been going on dates lately?”

Shadow’s eyes bugged out. “You mean you thought of them as dates, too?!”

Amy just looked confused for a moment. She burst out in laughter. “Shadow. You took me to a botanical garden. There’s literally nothing else more romantic than that!”

He crossed his arms, feeling defensive, but he found he couldn’t argue. “What was that advice again?” he asked, trying to push the conversation along.

Amy wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes. “We kept going on obvious dates, but you wouldn’t kiss me. It seemed like you liked me, and I definitely like you, so I kept dropping hints, but you still wouldn’t do it.”

Shadow’s face was blank. “I don’t do hints.”

“Yeah...Sonic said that, too.” Amy smiled sheepishly. “He told me to stop being so traditional and just grab you and kiss you. I thought that was a terrible idea.”

Shadow brightened up. “I think it’s a great idea. You should do it again.”

Amy laughed and pulled him into a hug. She buried her face in his chest fur and just cuddled there for a while. He held her close, feeling more relaxed than he had in months.

Amy’s face brushed against his fur as she looked up at him. “So are you ever going to tell me what was up with your Chaos energy? Why did it come back so suddenly?” She half-smiled coyly. “Does it have anything to do with me?”

Shadow averted his gaze and coughed. “You kind of...drive me crazy, you know that?” Her smile grew. He pressed his lips together. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you the whole story—” He held up a finger. “But—you’re not allowed to tell Sonic he’s faster than I am.”

Amy matched his grumpy frown with a bright smile. “Deal.”

[awlumii]

[Powering up...]

[Project REV1VAL 1.0: ACTIVE]

[Power: 100%]

[Restarting systems...]

[Scanning systems...]

[Scan Complete. Vitals stable. Weapons charged. Limbs fully functional.]

[Programs Activated: 15/15]

[Mechanical Damage: 0%]

[Scanning memory cloud backup...]

[Scan complete. Cloud backup stable.]

[Good Morning LANCEL0T!]

His eyes fluttered open, vision momentarily overwhelmed by the bright, fluorescent lights on the ceiling. His augmented auditory range caught up on boots clicking against the floor, the rustle of fabric and papers, and a sweet voice muttering about the lights. He heard a whir and a click before the harsh white had dimmed into a more comfortable brightness, and his eyes easily refocused on the sight before him, eyes scanning the room.

There's a window on the far left, displaying the cerulean sky beyond his confinements, dotted by white cotton clouds. Golden rays filter through the glass, landing on a desk full of disorganized papers with another next to it, various containers filled with liquids, metal parts, and cables scattered just like the papers atop its mahogany surface. Curiosity struck and he pointed and tilted his head at the mess. The scientist, judging by the lab coat thrown over a purple blouse and black jeans, shook their head, lips moving, indicating that it need not to worry. Lancel0t blinked as cyan text suddenly appeared in the corner of his vision, little squares and lines connecting words to the scientist's face.

Sorcerer of the Parallel Empire. 23 years old. Known for their vast knowledge in magic and science alike. Currently working under Il Dottore as the head scientist of....

He blinked and the text faded as a gloved hand was held out, helping Lancel0t step out of the silver machinery that had previously held him and kept him alive. His hands struggled to grip the scientist's; he moved clunkily, with stiff legs and arms, like a newborn still clumsily adjusting to walking. The scientist merely smiled, but he detected a trace of a foreign emotion within it.

"There is much to be done, my dear Lancel0t," they said, voice pleasant and smooth. "But worry not. I will teach you everything you need to know."

---

"Doctor."

You snap your head up, blinking back the exhaustion threatening to overcome you. "Yes? What is it? Is there another malfunction I have to take care of?"

Lancel0t shakes his head, brushing the strands of silver hair that fell into his eyes away.

"It is currently 12:57 am. A healthy adult needs between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night. If you rest now, you'll be able to obtain the bare minimum of rest--"

"I appreciate your concern, Lancel0t," you start, biting back a yawn. You feel Lancel0t's gaze boring holes into your back, yet you shrug it off. Your work is a bigger priority. "But I'm used to scraping time off from sleep."

"So used to it that you obtained a common cold after staying up for 72 hours?"

You turn to face him, a retort on the tip of your tongue. His expression doesn't change, but you swear you see the corner of his lips twitch up, threatening to quirk into that painfully familiar smirk. Your frown falls, eyes widening.

Dottore would notice. He would take him away. You don't want to lose Kazuha again.

His brows furrow, lips turning into a frown. "Your heart rate has accelerated, Doctor. I've also noticed a shortness of breath, and your hands are trembling. These are some symptoms of anxious behavior-"

"It's nothing. I'm fine." You turn your chair back to face the piles of paperwork on your desk, fingers brushing against the smooth wooden surface in search of your pen to distract yourself from your current dilemma. A reboot wouldn't work. You've configured his memory to store every single piece of information and speech he hears, no matter how many times he is torn to pieces and rebuilt. But if you manage to stay calm in front of Dottore, then maybe....

"I'm sensing an increase in anxiety and frustration from you. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Your fingers twitched, a familiar burn building up behind your eyes. You couldn't deal with this now.

"I'm fine, Kazuha. Just-" you stiffen, paling at the slip-up. Your chair is abruptly pushed back as you stand, avoiding his gaze as you take hurried steps to the door. "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

Lancel0t remains silent when you leave. You mutter a curse under your breath as you walk to your room, eyes already burning with regret.

.

Lancel0t sat before his charging pod, fingers typing away at a light blue holo-screen. Ever since you had gone to sleep, his mind had been plagued by the familiar name you uttered. For some reason, he kept running it over and over in his mind, as if repeating it many times over would give him some sort of clarity to the situation.

His eyes scan the cyan words displayed before him as he types the name in a database known for keeping tabs on civilians that were either alive, dead, or missing. He pressed the search button, waiting for a result.

NO MATCHING NAMES WERE FOUND. TRY AGAIN?

He frowned, refreshing the page. His confusion only grew as the same words flashed on his screen, almost tauntingly. Surely you wouldn't confuse him with any of the staff working at the lab; even when working yourself to the brink of exhaustion, your mind remained as sharp and cunning as ever.

Lancel0t ran a hand through his hair, strands tangling into his fingers.

What could you possibly be hiding?

---

another addition to the sci-fi/fantasy idea i had (gotta come up with a better name for it though /lh)

and i’ve decided on dottore being the head of the scientists working on cyborgs because that man is the bane of my existence /hj

and we got more drama too 👀 a small flashback, and kazuha growing suspicious of his name. we love to see it 😎

anyways, i hope you enjoy this! and congratulations on pulling cyno, i’m glad you got him! may the gacha gods bless you with luck for his weapon ✨

- 📖 anon

AYOOOOOOOOOOO HELLO HELLO HELLO THIS IS SO GOOD FUCK IM SO INVESTED

[aching-tummies]

My tummy is caved in and aching with hunger right now. It hasn't growled yet, but I really want it to.

Not entirely sure what to do with this one, which is why it sat in my inbox for a while. Thank you for the lovely image, Anon! I hope I've done it justice down below. The first response is what I usually do when I want my stomach to growl...and the second is trying to use it for an RP-scenario. Enjoy!

If the anon's asking for advice…well, I do wonder what others do to make their hungry tummies get vocal. In my experience, sitting up or lounging tends to get me the most audible growls. It's mostly quiet if I am lying down. Drinking water or tea when my stomach is empty is usually a surefire way to get it to get louder. Most of the time for me though, unless I am really, really hungry the growls aren't loud enough to be heard…but I definitely feel them. This does bring up a question: does it count as a stomach 'growl' if it's not audible? My stomach often does these quake-y, rumbly sensations--like someone hit mute on a growl…where I feel it ripping through my stomach without the noise actually being audible (unless someone were pressed right up against my stomach, I guess). Do those still count as "growls"? Also…mess around with the stomach. Squeeze it, poke it, and shake it up to get it awake and trying to digest…as it pushes the empty air around inside of it, you may be able to get a few growls. Personally, if I want my stomach to growl when I'm hungry and it's not doing it naturally, I'll mess around with my navel and get my intestines to twitch from that sensation. Eventually, those actions will cause my stomach to get a bit vocal.

If this is for an RP-Ask:

I come up behind Anon, as they stand in the kitchen. I slide my hands up their oversized sweater from behind, leaning in for my 'welcome home' kiss. I find a bit of a concave curve as my fingers brush along their lower ribs. I feel a shiver as my fingers dance along the lower rib of their left side, right over where their stomach-organ would be. A muffled whimper can be heard as they feel their sensitive stomach-organ being teased. My hands don't linger, they ghost all around the stomach, sliding around the sides, squeezing gently in places as though to gently massage the digestive tract into waking up.

Slowly, ever so slowly, my hands converge onto Anon's sensitive navel. Another shiver runs up their spine as the index fingers of both of my hands encroach on the defenseless area. Anon swallows a moan as my curious fingers dive into their navel at the same time, my nails prodding at the sensitive center of the abdominal scar. I pull my fingers apart a bit, stretching the navel a little and teasing at whatever parts of it that I can reach. The nails on the two fingers are different. Where one is rounded down, the other is a bit jagged, having caught and ripped on something--a rough edge that I have yet to deal with, it seems. The sensations as my jagged nail ghost over sensitive flesh are almost like electrical stimulation. Anon squirms in my hold, but I don't let them go.

I continue scratching at their navel, gently, with the jagged nail of my right hand. My left hand leaves, roaming back up to squeeze at the space right below their ribs, stimulating the stomach-organ. With such a concave waist, it's extremely easy for me to feel the various organs giving way beneath my grip. I can feel Anon's intestines convulsing, twitching within them. It's a disorganized twitching, at first, but it soon develops into a rhythm, I coax some of the empty gas pockets in the digestive tract--pushing and nudging them every which-way. Some of it is coaxed back into the stomach, the pressure of it going against the sphincters creates some quiet, but delightful noises for us to enjoy.

[tlonista]

Blood and Blue Diamonds: Chapter 9 Notes

I don’t know anything about cars, so I went to an auto show and found an 80-year-old man who talked me through how his gorgeous 1930 Model A worked, and it was very nice for both of us and I never had to explain it was for videogame slashfic.

“Phaeton” was a general term for an open-bodied proto-convertible in the ‘20s and ‘30s, and the Ford Phaeton specifically is the car Jack Nicholson drives in Chinatown*, so I gave Jayce one too. (Internally, it was interchangeable with other Model A or B cars, depending on the production year.) This period was a crossover point between cars that started with manual cranks and electric buttons, so you’d typically pump a starter on the floor that sparked the engine, but you could also slot a crank in the front and physically turn the engine over if the battery died. Thus... the scenario I am creating is a little bit contrived, but so sue me, I couldn’t resist the obvious joke.

I was worried I’d find some logistical reason Viktor couldn’t drive a ‘30s Ford, and based on my car guy’s description crank-starting it would be extremely hard or impossible for somebody with our boy’s post-timeskip build, but beyond that it would just be fairly difficult — it was before hydraulic brakes or power steering, so you were effectively pulling the wheels the direction you wanted to go and levering the brakes onto them with your foot.

Meanwhile my guidepost for Jayce is “literally capable of any human-level feat of strength” so of course he can start the damn thing almost unconscious. (Fun fact about car crank-starting: apparently never ever grip it between your thumb and fingers, because if it backfires the crank will snap back and so will your thumb.)

Now back to the chembarons. Los Angeles had a real tradition of gangsters from Chicago and New York showing up and fucking with the existing criminal ecosystem, including ones who had gotten too notorious or difficult back home. The city had homegrown organized crime and the legal power players were sketchy as hell, but its best-known figures — Bugsy Siegel, Mickey Cohen, Jack Dragna — came from Jewish or Italian operations on the East Coast. LA was, as noted by Jayce in the last chapter, also full of totally corrupt but disorganized cops that made it harder to run large-scale coordinated mob operations at this point. Great town to be a criminal, bad town to be a great criminal.

A random aside I learned from LA Noir: Bugsy Siegel claimed somewhat dubiously to have planned an assassination of Hermann Goering when they ended up at a mansion together in Italy while Siegel was trying to pull a get-rich-quick scheme involving selling experimental explosives to Mussolini. None of it worked out.

* Reiterating, let’s just be clear that Roman Polanski is an awful person and it pains me that Chinatown has such a hold on me

[zeta-739]

that's a relief. you were competitive with zeta, so i assume you'd like these types of activities.

hm...

i seem to have an assortment of them. they're quite disorganized.. in a pile, no less.

give me a moment. let me pick the one i wish to showcase to you. i might have to search through all of them.

--- ah. here.

[ A Nintendo DS. It has around 20 games despite its large storage. The first game on the list is Tetris. ]

it's more empty than the ones you'd find in the wild, but i hope it's sufficient if you have nothing to do.

-- ⚖️

{The Nugraft looks at the little device, reaching his hands for it but hesitating for a moment as unfamiliar nostalgia washes over him. It quickly shakes it off though and grabs it, holding it in its hands. It almost felt natural in its grip.}

. . .

{The static that it had previously tried to shoo away came back ever stronger, clouding every other thought in its systems. What was this? What were these memories and feelings? It shouldn't have any of these, it was just awoken...}

{So..... Why................}

473?

{The Nugraft was snapped out of its trance, snapping the screen of the DS shut and looking towards the door of the apartment where Zeta stood.}

O-OH.. HELLO 739-

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AND WHAT IS THAT?

{The Zetagraft gave 473 no room to talk as it approached quickly, almost like it was panicked about something. But 473 wasn't phased and looked towards the items it had gained before looking back at 739.}

THEY'RE GIFTS.

GIFTS?

FROM THE 'ANONS'.

{It then pointed to the phone that Zeta had left behind, silence following suit.}

... OKAY THEN. DID THEY... TELL YOU ANYTHING WEIRD?

NO. JUST SOME CONVERSATION AND A FEW ODD ITEMS.

OKAY-

I THINK MY MEMORY SYSTEM IS BROKEN, THOUGH.

...

{The Zetagraft froze at that sentence, going complete still and quiet as it processed it.}

PARDON?

IT KEEPS TRYING TO LOAD IMAGES AND MEMORIES THAT DON'T EXIST. I AM GOING TO GET IT FIXED LATER, SO IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

... OKAY.

ALSO, PLEASE GIVE ME THOSE ITEMS.

{Zeta outstretched a hand to the Nugraft, expecting it to give the handheld game to it, to which the Nugraft questioned.}

WHY? THEY'RE GIFTS.

THE ANONS ARE... WEIRD. THEY'RE MEAN IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU AND A LOT OF THEM ARE USUALLY TRICKS. THEY SHOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU IF YOU DON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO THEM.

..... OKAY.

{The Nugraft handed the items and the phone to Zeta, who then put them away in an unused drawer and then went into the bedroom, leaving just the blue model and the cat again.}

. . . . .

{Though it was faint, the Nugraft felt as though it made a bad choice.}

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, February 8th, 2024!

11:26am Absolute hell of a week. This is an autistic planner's nightmare of a week. I am burnt out. That's really kind of it lol. The M-F 9-5p work schedule I worked so hard to stick to the past two semesters has just gone out the window bc of my disorganized teachers and school program. There's no standards, no respect of personal time, and they're just like 🤷🤷 tHaTs HoW rEAl LiFE wOrKS no tf it is not!!!!! Where tf have y'all worked you guys need better jobs ffs. Nobody's boss should be changing things after 5pm, sending emails at 10pm FOH bruh 😑

7:04pm... Accidentally deleted my rant, long story short, I don't miss the gaslighting, narc, bipolar ass shitshow, insecure, little dick boy. Borderline threatening, 100% your shit will be on the porch now. Go ahead and take the cats please, I would love to see how that goes. N&T don't talk to him anymore, his own dad and stepmom don't talk to him anymore (which means his little sisters too). He hasn't just burned bridges he's literally burning the whole town down. Please just stfu fr. If you didn't want my opinion ... Why tf are you telling me dumb shit it's not like I'm digging for or asking for this information it just keeps showing up on my doorstep. Wtf is wrong with him, weird ass bitch.

Oh yeah and they've been dating 5+ months, went through all the holidays, about to be Valentine's/ bday next week.... And you guys are still arguing about me??? Wtf WHY THO? 🏃💨🚩🤡❤️🤡🚩 Shit is toxic affffff the man wasn't too solid to begin with I can't imagine this is helping him.... Karma bro

I just can't believe how cringe that whole conversation was, like do you seriously have nothing better to do than start random drama like you're a fucking 14 yo girl?? I meant what I said dude, get a grip. Ppl only get mad when you say true things, ppl don't get mad about lies 🤡

[danielforshort]

Back at work now that the holiday season is over. I'm returning to my fall semester project. A small part of me (the scared part of me) wanted to give up on this project forever. This is the one that I spent an entire semester on and "failed" at. But the brave part of me was eager to try again.

I'm starting out by reviewing the last things I did for the project. I'm also focusing on a better organization system for my progress, notes, timeline, and scripting drafts. I was so overwhelmed by the project and my disorganization fed into that. I read some papers about neuroimaging and data organization ("Best practices in data analysis and sharing in neuroimaging using MRI" was a great read). I also set up a OneDrive folder with some sub-folders and documents to track my goals and daily progress. I think that will really help me stay on track.

I'm also reminding myself how cool I find the topic (functional connectivity in the putamen with an autistic population). I love the putamen. I love the basal ganglia (BG) as a whole actually; I have a very rudimentary slidedeck titled "My Love Letter to the Basal Ganglia" and I did my master's project on the caudate nucleus and the nucleus accumbens! I think one of the reasons I love it so much is because I see so much of my own neurodivergent behaviors in the dysfunction of the basal ganglia. Also, I think repetitive motor behaviors (stimming) are a huge under-researched portion of autistic research, and god, can you imagine what we might learn if we focused on the existence of RMB as healthy behaviors and how gender identity and sex assigned at birth might affect RMB and how that might be seen in the BG?

Any time I start to write, think, or talk about why I love the BG I get excited about this project! And sometimes the big gloomy cloud of imposter syndrome and fear of failure cover up my excitement, especially when I am struggling so much.

I spent a couple hours today fussing with my MatLab script. I didn't make any "aha it works!" progress, but I did get familiar with the error messages and the set up I wrote in the fall. I think that is good and important to do!

I'm so used to being competent or skilled, that the unfamiliar sensation of being unskilled and not having a great foundation to start and very little structure direction of how to progress, make it hard to work on this project. I'm going to hold tight to my excitement and also learn how to loosen my grip on the fear of failing.

Alongside getting back to this project, our big lab project is also starting to pick up a bit more momentum, At first we had heard some rough dates to start data collection September and now we're hearing it could be as late as February. It's a bit frustrating but I'm so grateful to the experience of seeing a giant project in its infancy. The slow starts, little hiccups, big issues that need quick responses, are an experience that I wasn't expecting, but I sense will be valuable to have as I work my way through academia.

In the back of my mind I've begun to worry a little about my comprehensive exams, my dissertation, what job I even want after I graduate, and my long-term goals of moving to Europe. I shouldn't borrow this anxiety from the future though, so I'll try to let this settle for a while.

I hope that there are other PhD students who I can connect with on Tumblr, or that my thoughts and experiences bring some sort of comfort to other students. I want to let people know that I am a queer, disabled, Autistic, person of color, succeeding in a PhD program. There are many barriers to grad school and holding any marginalized identity compounds those barriers. But that shouldn't stop us from our goals. I am going to thrive and kick ass in my PhD program.

[iovealexivs]

Thanks for answering my adhd med question! If and only if you feel like it, would you say more about how you were originally misdiagnosed as having only-depression? I've been depressed since early childhood but lately I've started to realize that this is heavily influenced by the fact that I can just never get a grip on anything in daily life, and there's probably something more cognitive or neurological going on. If you don't feel like discussing it with a stranger you don't even have to tell me, I'll wish you a happy new year anyway!

“I can never get a grip on anything” encapsulates how I have felt for as long as I can remember.

I have mainly inattentive ADHD, so it was never caught when I was a kid though in hindsight jesus christ it was so evident. I was (and still am) a huge daydreamer, I do go off topic given the opportunity and even when in appropriate, and I’ve always been a disorganized/messy person. My mind is going at like a million miles a minute even if I’m not physically expressing that hyperactivity. I struggle with impulse control, am easily forgetful of things (couple that with brain fog from long covid and it’s awful), have major time blindness, etc.

When some of my symptoms, such as procrastination, burnout, not cleaning my room due to executive dysfunction, etc, started to affect my life negatively it was chalked up to depression. On the outside it did look like depression, so I bought into it. For a short time antidepressants would work (except for venlaflaxine, which i mentioned had extremely awful side effects but also did no good). But because the problem wasn’t actually depression those didn’t work for very long. It was really frustrating and I must’ve seen 4 different professionals over the course of 5 years before getting to a medication plan that works.

I wasn’t able to see anyone for my mental health until I was an adult due to my home life even though I’d felt this since I was 13. my mom for the longest time would just chastise me for being lazy as if I could control it (she did this well until this year when I told her the problem was ADHD. Reason why I never did before was because she was always dismissive about my mental health as a teen so it was hard to approach her). There is also the fact, according to my dad who only told me after I graduated highschool, my pediatricians told my parents when I was a toddler I was exhibiting signs of autism (which must’ve been very telling if it was caught on that early) and my parents denied me a proper diagnosis because “that couldn’t be it” even if it’s a comorbidity of my physical conditions. So i’ve been running around with that, and I am sure that has to have an effect on everything else.

It wasn’t until I saw a therapist in late 2018/early 2019 for a traumatic event that I considered ADHD a possibility because she was able to pinpoint it from my behavior and my past. But a therapist can’t write scripts so I still needed to see a doctor/psychiatrist. Since then I tried to see different doctors but most just stuck me on antidepressants either by continuing my lexapro script (which had no effect here nor there once I stopped other than mild withdrawal symptoms) or starting me on Wellbutrin (in 2021). I started wellbutrin because I finally got screened for adhd and had the official diagnosis, but I was still given an antidepressant. The wellbutrin worked a little better but it was not solving the problem completely. It got me up and out of bed, which may be why the person I’m seeing now wants me to keep taking it, but I could never stay focused on a task if I wasn’t being forced to either my parents or work. It was so bad on my end when I was on my own in uni that I ended up in the ER due to self induced stress. This summer my psych NP put me on adderall because he listened to how frustrated I was with having an ADHD diagnosis for years and not being effectively treated for it. He did try the venlaflaxine but I had to stop it and then he put me on adderall. I’ve noticed only positives from there even at a smaller dose.

I believe one of the reasons it was diagnosed as depression is because ADHD (like many other health issues, including autism, which can show how much I was showing as a kid if doctors could tell off the bat) is largely ignored in people born female like myself because of stereotypes associated with ADHD mostly being noticed in boys/people assigned male at birth. To further illustrate this, my brothers were suspected of having adhd before they were 7. I wasn’t as disruptive as the “typical” adhd child (I did have my moments. Don’t get me wrong. But it was treated as me being an occasionally unruly kid and I was reprimanded for it only as it happened) so no one cared. I was also a “gifted” kid because I liked reading so much and was smart for the time. Surely a kid with good grades (and who got punished for anything less than a B) has no problems /s. So when I started to level out with my peers in high school the “laziness” accusations exploded in frequency and no one would listen to me when I said I felt so out of control of my own mind.

Sorry this got so long. I never can be concise when there’s something I feel so strongly about. I, unlike the adults in my adolescence, encourage being open about mental health so I hope this can help you.

[writerartistdreamer]

Title: You'll have to go through me

@whumptober @whumptober-archive

(You can also find this on AO3!)

Posting Day: 28

Prompt Day 28: "You'll have to go through me"

Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV)

Characters: Belle, Rumplestiltskin, an intruder

Summary: An intruder shows up in the Dark Castle when the protection barriers are down. Belle handles him, Rumple finds her and handles him too.

An intruder was afoot in the Dark Castle. She didn't know how they got in, didn't know how they managed to pass by the magical barriers and she didn't know what to do. Rumplestiltskin was gone on one of his many deals that particular day and he perhaps forgot to strengthen the barriers around the castle, that was the only explanation Belle could find regarding the intruder. She tried to hide in one of the many chambers in the castle and quickly found her way out so she could find a weapon to wield, in case the person turned out to try and harm her. She heard footsteps coming in her direction and, before she could run or hide once again, she was found by a cloaked figure with a dagger in their hand.

"Where is Rumplestiltskin? I demand to know, for I am looking for him" the cloaked figure spoke, the voice of a man being heard echoing in the hallway of the Dark Castle. He gripped his dagger as he looked over at the small figure of the woman, questioning why she would even be there in the first place. Was she also looking for the sorcerer? Was she trapped in the castle? Why was a woman such as her even there?

"Rumplestiltskin is not here at the moment and will not be here for the rest of the day. I do not know where he is. If you have a request for him, you can tell me what it is and I can tell him when he returns", Belle spoke, her voice unwavering, standing bravely as she hid her weapon behind her back. Her eyes moved from him, to his dagger and back to him, trying to figure out what his next move may be, what he may be trying to do after her dismissal. Trespassing on their estate was not a good sign and she was willing to bet anything that his intentions were not anywhere near kind.

"You're his little wench, are you? Speaking like that for him? You know something, you must know. I do not believe you for one moment", the man shouted angrily and instantly dived for Belle, who slipped away from him. He tried to use his dagger to attack her, to slice through in some way, yet his disorganized moves did not as he scrambled to attempt to touch her. She managed to kick him to the floor, yet he quickly tripped her up as he tugged on her leg, making her fall on her stomach, her weapon landing far away from her hand. He stood up and grabbed her, holding her trapped in his arms, dagger to her throat. "You will tell me where he is and you will tell me now", the man threatened, pressing the blade dangerously close.

Belle spied around and noticed where her weapon was, knowing she wouldn't manage to get it back. She yelled when he trapped her in his arms and thought of what she could be doing to escape him and get rid of him. She felt the sharp blade of the dagger pressed against her neck and strained her mind to find a way to at least knock the breath out of him. She raised her hands in order to seem helpless, innocent, and kept scrambling for a way to get herself out of the situation at hand. "I don't know where he is! Truly! I can help you if you just let me go", Belle addressed him as she kept her hands up, trying to remain calm throughout it. It would have been good if Rumplestiltskin was there to help, if he was there to reinforce the damned protection barriers he seemed to be so proud of. The girl quickly thought of something and pushed his arm with both of her hands, trapping the dagger to her body, against middle, away from her throat. She quickly slipped from his grip and twisted his arm around, making him scream and drop the dagger.

In that moment, Rumplestiltskin poofed himself back into the castle, only to find the intruder pinned by Belle, who angrily twisted his arm back and then kicked him to the ground as the cloaked figure once again screamed. "How did he get in here? It...it seems you have it handled", the sorcerer spoke, surprise and shock marring his face as he watched his little maid so easily handle the man that, he presumed, tried to hurt her.

"Oh, you're back! Your barriers were down and he somehow slipped through, looking for you. Had me under a dagger and everything", Belle explained to him as she sighed, once again kicking the man and making sure to kick the dagger as fair away from him as possible.

The man tried to get back on his feet, staring daggers at the girl, yet was kicked back by Rumplestiltskin himself, who angrily let magic burst through. "Oh I don't think so, dearie. If you wanted to speak to me, you should have known better than to try and hurt my maid. Nobody takes from the Dark One and goes unharmed. If you want to hurt her, you'll have to go through me", Rumplestiltskin spoke angrily and poofed cuffs on the man's wrists.

The intruder stood up and rapidly hurried towards Belle, yet she was prepared as she simply moved away and tripped him with her leg, making him fall over himself. He once again stood up and tried to attack her, only to have Rumplestiltskin cuff his legs, bringing him right down on the floor. The sorcerer stood above him, casting a flame out of his hand as directed it towards the cloaked intruder. "Any last words?", he hissed through his teeth, yet was stopped by his little maid, who took a hold of his arm.

"Rumple, no. Don't kill him, it's not worth it", Belle pleaded with him, her gaze finding his as she held on to his arms, until he got rid of the flames with a sigh. Before she could say anything else, he poofed the man away from the castle and kept his dagger with a satisfied smile. "Where did you send him off to?", Belle asked as she stared at the sorcerer for a few moments, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh, nowhere in particular. Just a jail cell, far, far away from him, where he will remain to respond for his crimes. Nobody harms what is mine", Rumplestiltskin responded, before handing the dagger to her, observing her from head to toe. "Very well done today, dearie. You disarmed him rather quickly and brought him done with such ease. I'm impressed"

"Why thank you. I've had some training. It is important for me to know how to defend myself", Belle replied with a sweet smile, before grabbing the intruder's dagger and holding it for a while, testing the grip. "Come on, let's go put this in the glass cabinet. Then you can reinforce those barriers", the maid offered and tugged him by his sleeve as they walked downstairs to the Great Hall, where they could relax and enjoy the rest of their day over a cup of tea.

[storiesbyvaleriejean]

4.

I’ve gone an entire year without tears of sadness.

To be quite frank, I’ve been a little wary. A full 12 months of bliss with no mishaps or hiccups? I’ve been wholly vulnerable, exposing (sometimes grudgingly) the most private parts of my body and soul. And yet he stayed, willingly - lovingly, for an entire year. This experience has been surreal and sometimes I looked at my partner with unfiltered suspicion because I could hardly believe it. He was still here despite my many flaws.

I was messy. This was an annoying symptom of unmedicated ADHD and years of a structureless, neglected childhood riddled with bad habits. I tried my best to hide this side of me but my disorderliness peaked through in small but very conspicuous ways.

There were half-finished water bottles sprinkled in the corners of my bedroom, my bed was seldom made, I lost earrings and other jewelry constantly. I’d always forget to re-cap bottles, lip gloss containers, jars of powered make-up which almost entirely ended up with a spill or an explosion of gooeyness in my purse, bed or floor. After laundry, I always procrastinated putting my clothes away which resulted in them being sprawled and littered all over my floor, forcing me to wash them again. I had trouble organizing and it was quite clear that I was a mess. I am a mess.

But he stayed and barely mentioned my affinity for disorganization and chaos. We often spoke of my ADHD and he recommended a stimulant. I was always hesitant to do this because I always felt that the bad outweighed the good but requested it from my psychiatrist anyway. My symptoms were not completely erased but I was able to focus a little easier. It was like putting on a new pair of glasses and I found myself worrying less about the little stuff and concentrating more on the bigger stuff. Like him.

I required space…a lot. I hadn’t believed in seeing someone more than twice a week. The less time I spent with someone, the less I was a pawn for their unnecessary projections and micro-aggressions. The less I had to fake laugh, the less I had to speak in depth about my whereabouts or current life status, the less I felt compelled to compare our successes. Being alone meant safety. I felt safe in my own presence. I didn’t feel inadequate or ugly or like I was competing to be better than everyone around me. Alone meant being ugly in peace. I wasn’t super aware of myself.

I just was.

I just was who I was without fear of what anyone else thought.

He understood this but still made sure to speak to me everyday. I needed space and he gave it to me. I was moody and sometimes volatile at the slightest provocation. He knew I needed the space. He needed space too.

When I was with him, however, I was always in his skin. I suffocated him a bit but there were never any objections. When I was with him, my hands were never cold. There weren’t any parts of my body that went untouched. I leaned into his love comfortably, It was more special this way.

As time progressed, we were more willing to be with each other more often. More than 2x a week. Neither of us ever felt the need to do less or more in each other’s presence.

We just were.

Two humans, who loved themselves, who loved each other.

It took me a while to love myself though.

I didn’t like how one eyebrow was higher than the other or how my top lip looked non-existent compared to my bottom lip. My forehead was slighter larger than average. There were faded hyperpigmentation marks around my skin. My teeth had gaps. I was taller than the average woman. My ass was less than perfect.

He never ever pointed out a single physical flaw. To him, my eyebrows brought life to my face. My top lip and bottom lip, although asymmetrical, were still soft and plump and had the perfect grip on his lips. My forehead was high but so were my cheekbones. I had a modelesque mug. My skin bore a few scars but was also incredibly soft and supple. The gaps in my teeth gave my face character. I was tall but he was taller. I was the perfect height to him. My ass….

He kissed it. He licked it. He smacked it. He adored it. My biggest insecurity…he adored it.

To say that I am flawed, is an understatement.

To say that he loved me anyway, was also an understatement. He was still here after 12 months. I couldn’t wrap my head around it sometimes. He was still here….

The only times I’ve cried…were in absolute awe.

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Fix You - Chapter 11: White Knuckle Grip

*gif by @pedrorascal

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

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Chapter Summary: You and Frankie settle into your love and your trust in each other is tested

Word Count: 11K

Rating: Explicit, 18+, GRAPEFRUIT

*If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature and explicit themes and kinks. Additionally, you understand and acknowledge warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story*

Chapter Warnings: legal age difference (10-15 years), rough sex, Dark!Frankie, oral (m&f) rec, PiV, moderate bondage, moderate terms of degradation, face fucking, use of toys, vest appreciation, sexualization of military shit, spanking, overstimulation, cumplay, creampie, deep-throating, first time squirting.

*I’m going to be really honest with you guys this is straight up FILTH and it goes a rough and dark, so if Dave York style shit isn’t your jam, I would skip the entire 8th section (or second to last)! No hard feelings!

A/N: Hello!!!! I am back from kitten duty and here to present you with this much anticipated chapter! I really wanted to make this worth the wait so I hope I delivered! In the time away I have learned that I cannot foster kittens without keeping them all. My house is chaos (also I am more than happy to supply pics if you ever want them). ANYWAYS. I want to thank everyone that continues to read this story and leave me sweet little notes, I love you for them and they really help brighten a dark day. No beta, we live and die like Oberyn Martell.

Suggested Songs: “Trampoline” by Shaed & Zayn, “Two Weeks” by FKA Twigs, “Bruises” by Chairlift, “Freak” by Doja Cat, “All on My Mind” by Anderson East, “R U Mine” by Arctic Monkeys

“Alright,” You declare, dramatically opening the map in the air in front of you, smacking it lightly to smooth out the creases. “What first?”

“LOBSTER!” Gabi trills, bouncing in her dad’s arms clapping her hands.

“Gabi, baby,  this is a land zoo, not an ocean zoo.” Frankie sighs in mock annoyance, but you and Gabi can see the smile creeping across his lips.

“MMmm.” She gurgles, shoving her fingers in her mouth to suckle while she works out what she might be able to see. She gasps suddenly, her wet fingers grasping the curls flipping out of the sides of his hat as she all but screams in his face. “DADDY. DOGGY!”

Frankie adjusts his head around Gabi’s to look at you. “They got any wolves here? Foxes?”

“Are you telling me you’ve never been to this zoo before?”

“No I have - ouch- baby girl, what did I tell you about pulling my hair? You’re gonna make me bald, bonita. Don’t make me put you back in your stroller.” You laugh as he takes her hands and unwinds them from his soft curls before continuing. “I have, I just can’t remember. I don’t think we saw everything last time.”

You nod, moving off to the side of the walkway to get out of the way of other visitors while you plan out your route. “No wolves, but they have coyotes. Over here to the left in Wild Florida. Then we can circle around and catch the Africa section for your elephants, Frankie, which has many of the big cats for me. Then we can grab lunch, breeze through Australia and Asia, hit the train, maybe the G-I-F-T shop, and head out! Sound good?” You look up expectantly, Frankie staring at you mouth ajar, eyebrows arched. “What?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just…impressed. You’d be a good strategist. Last time we came here with Benny it was a mad disorganized dash back and forth all over the park until I was too worn out to keep going.”

You smile, picturing it in your head exactly, Benny darting from one exhibit at the front, running to the end of the park for another, then realizing he missed something and running back to the front. Sounds about right.

Destination set, the three of you head into the Wild Florida section, pausing to look at several animals native to the area, taking more than twenty minutes to look at the alligator exhibit.

You’re gripping the wooden rail of the gazebo, Gabi safe in your arms and standing on the top so she can see. A line of at least thirteen alligators are piled up on the water’s edge, some on top of each other, some with mouths open, all enjoying the beautiful sunny afternoon. You feel as if you have never known such peace as they are experiencing. You feel Frankie’s arms wrap around your waist lightly, his lips pressing into the back of your neck before he pulls to whisper in your ear. “See? They’re cool.”

You nod, pulling Gabi back more against your chest as one of the larger reptiles struggles to get up and sluggishly makes its way into the water with a splash. It heads right to a little fountain in the middle of the water area, slowing to a halt as it positions itself so the spray falls on top of its head. It almost looks like it’s smiling, it’s eyes little crescents at the sensation of the water trickling down it’s leathery skin.

“They’re actually…kind of cute.” You murmur. “Cute, tired, and ancient. Kind of like you!”

He pinches you gently on the waist. “Ha ha. Very funny. Gabi, do you think daddy is old?”

She turns her head to him, chewing her lip. “Yes.”

You burst out into laughter and she joins you as Frankie sputters dramatically and pretends his feelings are hurt.

The three of you move on, pausing to look at turtles and frogs, ducks, bears, even a manatee before everyone finally finds themselves in front of the coyote enclosure.

There’s nothing there. For ten whole minutes, while Gabi becomes more and more agitated as each minute passes. But finally, out from some shrubbery near the door of the private indoor area, a beautiful brownish grey coyote lopes out. And another, and then one more. They take turns racing around the edge of the enclosure walls, eager to stretch their legs after being inside. It takes almost everything in her for Gabi not to shriek in excitement every time they pass close by, you and Frankie had tried to teach her in the car that loud noises would scare the animals. She whines in his arms, and when he puts her down on her feet she immediately slides through the post and rail fence, charging towards the final chain link barrier to get closer to one of the coyotes on his next pass.

“SHIT! GABI!” 

Before he can even react, you launch forward over the top rail, flinging your arm around her waist and scooping her up into your arms. “Nope. Too close. We all have to look from behind here and so do you.”

She huffs but acquiesces, wriggling against you so she can at least stand on top of the wooden fence while you hold her securely. 

It takes almost five whole minutes for Frankie’s heart rate to calm down. He can’t even speak, still in shock at how easily Gabi could have gotten seriously hurt. It happened so fast he barely even had time to react, his reflexes not as on point as they used to be. 

If you hadn’t been here…

You’re not just a babysitter. You’re not just a girlfriend that he loves. You’re family. And it hits him then, that If anything were to happen to him, he knew Gabi would be well taken care of. He trusts you to do that, and even though It wasn't something he had ever consciously thought of, he knew at that moment, without a doubt, that he could really trust you.

Frankie clears his throat and looks away, his eyes tearing up, and he doesn’t want anyone to see. When he looks back to you, you’re whispering in his daughter’s ear and giggling together.

The three of you watch the coyotes as they traipse about the enclosure, play wrestle with each other, yipping and barking as they tumble about before they collapse into a sleepy pile in the sun.

“Alright baby girl, time to see the next one now.” Frankie urges, gently tugging on the small hand enclosed in his own massive palms. It takes a few minutes but he finally gets her to go, and they chatter absently together as you follow them out of the Florida area and on to the Africa section. 

Seeing Frankie watching elephants is a whole new experience. You’d figured since he got one tattooed on his thigh that he loved them, but you couldn’t have anticipated the sheer boyish excitement shining in his eyes as he watched them lumber about. He held Gabi close, whispering in her ear and pointing to this animal and the next, telling her about them or maybe making up little storylines for them. You felt your heart clench at how dedicated a father he was and how much he genuinely enjoyed interacting and playing with his daughter.

After the elephants, you hit the lions, hand-feed some giraffes, and argue over the difference between leopards and jaguars, before taking a break to do a diaper change, get some rainbow snow cones, and do some people watching. 

“Daddy,” Gabi says, pausing to attempt to phrase her sentence. Her face is wet and her tongue and mouth are tinted purple from the mixture of food coloring in the snow cones, much like the giraffes you had just seen. “Want a doggy.”

Frankie sighs and takes another bite of his treat. “Gabriella, we’ve talked about this too many times already. No dogs. No pets.”

You expect her to start crying, her eyes are welling up with tears but she simply nods and picks at her empty cup.

“Well I don’t know, why? You don’t like dogs?”

Frankie lifts his empty cup to drink the remaining liquid before tossing it across the way to the trash can a few feet away before looking at you. “I don’t dislike dogs, I just don’t have the time to be able to take care of a pet right now. What with NA, my job, Gabi…sometimes I help train Benny, it’s too much of a commitment.”

“That makes sense. What about a cat? They don’t need much commitment.”

He scoffs. “I don’t like cats.”

“Heartless. Fish?”

“It’ll die in a week. I can’t even keep a succulent alive.” You roll your eyes and laugh, giving up on the discussion. 

Snow Cones finished, you move on to South America, finally getting Frankie face to face with a jaguar until he acknowledges that yes, they are different than leopards. You see monkeys, anteaters, and to your ecstatic joy, even a catfish. A Suckermouth Catfish. 

“But Frankie! Look! It’s a type of armored catfish! An armored catfish! Get it! Cause you were in the Army!” You splutter in between gasping breaths of air between giggles.

Frankie is not amused, grumbling to himself at your hysterical laughter until the three of you reach the otters and capybaras. All previous thoughts are gone from the obscene cuteness, you collectively fawn over them for at least half an hour before finally hitting the indoor Amazon building.

“Let's move past these, I’m sure you and Gabi don’t want to look at snakes.” Frankie says, moving swiftly with Gabi on his shoulders by the snake portion. As he turns the corner to get back to the birds, he suddenly realizes you aren’t with him and have stopped to look at a particularly beautiful snake. 

“Frankie!” You gasp. “This snake is so pretty! Come look!” 

He moves back to you and peers into the terrarium with Gabi still on his back before realizing she can’t see and drops her into his arms.

“OOooooooo. Daddy, it boo!” It is. A beautiful boa constrictor with a crisscrossing pattern of orange and bright, almost holographic blue on the stripes.

“It’s called a Brazilian Rainbow Boa.” You chime in, sliding to the side to read the information on the plaque. You spend a few more moments looking at the iridescent animal before once again moving on, now taking the time to look at more of the snakes. Out of the corner of your eye as you walk, you see Frankie sneaking glances at you with the dopiest smile.

“What is it?” You chuckle.

He shakes his head and leans closer to your ear, voice lowered so Gabi doesn’t hear. “Just love you.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that. I feel the same.” You wish with all your heart you could say it back loudly, but not yet. Today was the day you would be telling Gabi about the two of you, but now wasn’t the time. She was a smart girl, it couldn’t be kept a secret forever, and you and Frankie would just have to hope she didn’t say anything about it to her mom. For a while you continue walking together in silence, enjoying the sounds of the zoo animals and the visitors surrounding you, thinking about how you would break the news to her. But as these things happen, another thought bursts to the forefront of your mind instead.

“Why did you think Gabi and I wouldn’t want to look at the snakes? Snakes are cool.”

Frankie shrugs absently, his attention mostly on pushing Gabi in her stroller. “Cause you’re girls.” He immediately winces and halts, knowing he fucked up. He turns and looks at you. You’re smirking at him with your arms crossed. You don’t even need to say anything before he’s tripping over himself to explain.

“Wait, no, I just - well - okay, fuck, that does sound bad. I just haven’t met a lot of girls who like snakes. I didn’t mean all girls didn’t like snakes. I’m sure there’s guys that hate snakes! It’s just - Lex was terrified of them. I was just trying to say I appreciate that…about you. It’s…cool…” He trails off, his expression twisting as he makes a last ditch effort to save himself. He sighs. “Dammit. Nevermind.”

You can’t help but laugh at his struggle. “You’re lucky you’re adorable.”

“I didn’t mean to make it like a thing about women…”

“No, I know. I know you Frankie. No, I don’t mind snakes. We have a few dangerous species where I live but they pretty much don’t want anything to do with people. Now bugs? That’s a whole other story. I get a bug near me and I’m going to flip out. So you gotta take care of that for me. I can handle the snakes.”

He laughs. “Okay, deal.”

The three of you sit down to eat the pre-packed sandwiches you brought, then take a relaxing ride on the train while you digest. Feet beginning to hurt, you breeze through Australia and finally through Asia, ending the day with the best part of the zoo, the tigers. 

“I just need to go to the bathroom before we trek all the way back, so I’ll meet you in there.” Frankie calls over his shoulder as he begins trotting to the restrooms next to the gift shop. You nod, feeling your heart clench once again over the fact that this is the first time Frankie has left you alone with Gabriella while out and about amongst the public. You swallow back the lump in your throat as you push her stroller inside, letting her get out and toddle through the store herself once you gather your bearings. She quickly lands on a gigantic wall of plushees, rows and rows of almost every animal you’d seen that day arranged in a rainbow of color. Each shelf alternate two species, like one elephant, one lion, one elephant, another lion, and on and on until the next shelf with two new species, effectively making the entire case appear like a patterned mosaic from far away.  You stare together in awe at it for a few minutes.

“Which one do you like the best?” You ask. Gabriella chews her lips, the sensory overload settling after a few moments as she zeros in on the animal she wants. You aren’t surprised. “You want the coyote? That’s a good choice!”

You reach up and hand the best looking one to her and she sighs, clutching the animal to her chest. “Daddy say no.”

“No he won’t. You’ve been a good girl today, I’m sure he'll get you one, if I have anything to say about it.”

She smiles and inhales deeply, reaching for your leg and leaning against you as she climbs back into the stroller. “M’tired.”

“Yea, it’s been a long day hasn’t it. But you had fun with me and your dad, right?”

She nods and tilts her head. “Daddy like yoo Fower.”

You swallow. “He does?”

She nods slowly, a big grin on her face.

“I like him too. Is that…is that okay?”

She nods again, but her brow quickly furrows as she works out her feelings. “Um…but mommy…” She stops, hitting a wall separating her emotions and linguistic ability.

“Oh. Gabi…” You kneel before her. “Your mommy is still your mommy and always will be okay? Nothing’s going to change that. You just get like, an extra person who loves you in your life. Is that okay?”

She licks her lips and nods again. “And a doggy too.”

You laugh, cupping her face between your hands and plopping a wet kiss to her forehead as she giggles. “Gimme some time with that one.”

Frankie’s going to melt. Like the Wicked Witch. Just splash to the floor into a big puddle. 

It doesn’t take a man long to go to the bathroom, and Frankie had followed you into the gift shop after only a few minutes, slowly wandering around until he spotted you two behind a few spinning racks of puppets. You clearly hadn’t seen him. He heard everything.

He swallows the lump in his throat threatening to burst and makes his presence known. “There you are. What did you find?” 

Gabi turns to him and lifts the plush coyote in the air with her little arms. “Ta-da!” 

Frankie bends over to Gabi in her stroller and peers at the animal, hands on his hips. “Hmmmm I guess that is okay. You were a good girl today and all.” You shift behind him, not wanting him to notice how those words made you shiver. 

The three of you head to the cashier and check out, Frankie grumbles slightly over the prices but shoos you when you try to pay for half. 

“Gabi, this is the last chance. Are you sure this is the one you want!”

“Yes. Until real doggy. Fower say so.”

You burst out into laughter and Frankie sighs and rolls his eyes, turning back to the grinning cashier.

The trip back home is almost silent. Gabriella falls asleep almost the moment she’s clicked into her carseat, her little face smooshing up against her new stuffie. You’re tired too but content, your legs bent up and your feet resting on the truck’s glove compartment, eyes closed and head back against the headrest tilting towards the window. Frankie can’t keep himself from looking at you every chance he can, a blooming swell of satisfaction and happiness at seeing his two girls all tuckered out. 

“I can feel you staring.” You murmur.

He huffs a laugh. “Well stop looking so beautiful then.”

You hum, that small smile spreading across your face until it reaches your eyes as they open. He reaches his hand out to you, and you take his big hand in yours and thread your fingers together, resting them on your thigh. “I can hear you thinking too. What’s going on up there?”

What isn’t going on in his head? I love you, so fucking much. Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re real. Move in with me. Marry me. What??!! “Thank you, for today.”

“No, thank you for taking me! I’ve been wanting to go to this zoo for so long but I never had anyone to go with!” 

“You’re welcome, but I didn’t mean that. I meant about what happened…with the coyotes. That scared the shit out of me.”

You reach out to place your hand on his arm, caressing the skin and soft hair there. “Yea, it was really scary. I didn’t expect her to do that, but it’s okay, we got her.”

“I scared myself too. That I wasn’t fast enough. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“It won’t, and you would have gotten to her before she got to the fence, I know it. I was just closer to her. But if anything ever does happen, I’ll be there. I’d never let anything happen to her.”

“I know.” He pauses. “It’s hard for me…to trust other people with stuff like that. Especially with her. She means more to me than anything else in the world. But I trust you.”

You huff a laugh. “I’d hope so! I’m her babysitter.”

He shakes his head, growing frustrated with himself once again. “No, I mean, it’s one thing to trust your girlfriend or babysitter with your kid at home. It’s another thing to trust them out with your kid. It’s just…different. I always trusted you, or I wouldn’t have hired you. I wouldn’t have shared shit with you. But I just…you would take care of Gabi and protect her by any means necessary. Like that.”

“I would.”

He smiles softly, squeezing your hand as he adjusts in the truck seat. “So, the gift shop. How was that?”

“Oh she was great! I was expecting a full over-tired over-heated meltdown but nope! She went straight to what she wanted and was satisfied.”

“I heard what you said. About Lex.”

“Oh. Shit. I’m really sorry if I said the wrong thing. To be honest I didn’t really know what to say–”

“No.” He interrupts. “No, you said the right thing. It was so the right thing.” He brings your hand up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss on the back of it. “I love you baby.”

You close your eyes and hum, relaxing back into the seat. “I love you too Frankie. So, so much.”

It’s later in the week and you’re watching Gabi as you wait for Frankie to come home from his NA meeting. Gabi was peckish early so you gave her a handful of goldfish as you placed your usual Wednesday pizza order on your phone.

A few minutes later, order placed, you heave a sigh and look up at Gabi only to see her smooshing cheddar goldfish right into the carpet with her T.Rex toy. 

“Oh, Gabi! No!” You exclaim as you rush over. You try to pick up what you can as she scoots back, eyes watering. “No no, you don’t have to cry, it’s okay, I’m not mad. But you can’t do that. Okay?”

She smashed them too well. You stand up and look around, heading up and down the hall peeking into the bedrooms and closets before stopping at the hallway closet door. The door with the lock on it. You tilt your head around the corner. “Hey Gabi, you don’t know where the vacuum is, do you?” She simply blinks at you.

You sigh. “Alright. Well, I don’t want to leave a mess for your dad.” You pull at the lock and start trying combinations on it. Frankie is smart. He doesn’t use the same code as the code to the door, and after the third wrong answer you take a chance and input Gabi’s birthday. And it…unlocks.

“Here we go.” Only the right door opens, despite your pushing and pulling on the other one, but you can see the vacuum right behind the left door surrounded by a mess of boxes, winter coats, and a giant duffel bag that catches on one of the latches of the vacuum as you pull it out, causing you to lose your hold on the damn thing as it crashes to the floor and strews the contents of the duffel all over the floor.

“God dammit. OOooo, Gabi don’t repeat that.” You look around the corner to make sure she wasn’t startled. Satisfied after seeing her playing with some Legos, you turn your attention back to the bag and kneel on the floor to pick up…

Carabiners. Bungee cords. Empty gun casings. A sheathed and locked knife. Some walkie talkies. A dirty tactical vest. And…zip ties.

“Fuck.” You can feel your face heat up as you pick up the vest and pull it into your lap, thumbing the little slots for various odds and ends. There’s a carabiner attached to one of the loops and a large bound strap shoved through one of the loops. And it’s kind of filthy. You know it must be Frankie’s, and even though it does look a shade too small for him, you can’t help but imagine how he would look in it. How the puffy straps would frame his broad shoulders and toned arms, and you wager with yourself that his little puffy tummy would pop out too.

You think about Frankie in the vest yelling orders, or flying a helicopter, slinking along the walls of a hideout holding whatever big ass gun the shell casings were for. You would never consider yourself a fan or believer of guns but for some reason, Frankie with a gun just hit different. You shift your gaze to the bundle of zip ties grasped tightly in your hand. Frankie tying someone up with the zip ties. No. Frankie tying you up with the zip ties–

“What are you doing?”

You startle so dramatically the vest flies in the air before tumbling back down in front of you. You bring your hand to your chest, not noticing you’re still holding the zip ties. “Jesus, Frankie. You scared the shit out of me!”

He’s standing at the entrance of the hall. And he doesn’t look happy.

“What are you doing.”

You cow slightly under his steely gaze. “I– I was just looking for the vacuum…Gabi had some crumbs and I wanted to clean it up.” You bite your lip.

“That door was locked. For a reason. Why are you going through my shit without asking?”

“I...I’m so sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop, I just went for the vacuum and it pulled out this bag also and it was unzipped and I went to put it back but then I…um. I got distracted.”

He furrows his brow, putting one hand on his hip as it pops to the side as his eyes dart all over you. 

“You got distracted.” He says it more as a statement than a question. You can feel your cheeks burn and you cover your face with your palms, the zip ties still in your hand. 

“Um…yea.”

“Baby.”

You don’t respond, pressing your hands more into your face. God dammit this is so embarrassing. 

He steps forward so he’s right in front of you. “Baby?” He squats and gently tugs at your hands, but you don’t move them. 

He stands back up. “Baby…look, I’m sorry I upset you. I just—”

“You…didn’t upset me.” You lower your hands and meet his eyes. He looks less mad than before, trying to hide the smirk coming across his face. 

“You’re turned on.”

“What?! NO! Of course not!” You splutter, but he’s already laughing.

“You are! You got distracted by the zip ties!” His cheeks are turning red with mirth and realization.

You glare at him and cross your arms. “Fine! Yes! But also because of the vest thingy. Oh, leave me alone.”

His laughter slows to a chuckle. “Do you want me to put it on?”

“No.”

“Aw, why not?”

“If you put that on, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.”

He raises his eyebrow. “Damn. That’s hot...”

Still embarrassed, you shove everything back in the bag and firmly throw it back into the closet, stand up and yank the vacuum without another word, plugging it in and doing an extra thorough job cleaning up the crumbs before tossing the vacuum haphazardly back into the closet. You slam the door and reset the lock, knowing Frankie is staring at you, and you turn and enter your bedroom, closing the door and leaning your back against it as you let out a long breath and try to compose yourself.

A soft knocking vibrates against your back and thump your head on the door and sigh.

“Baby? Can you let me in?”

You turn and open the door. It’s his house after all.

“Hey.”

“...Hey.”

He reaches for you, cupping your cheek in his large palm as he makes you meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. I liked that you got like that over my stuff. Okay?”

You nod. “I really didn’t mean to go through your things, and then I just saw them and my brain went into another dimension for a bit. A slutty dimension.”

He chuckles and pulls you into him. You notch the indent above your nose into the side of his jaw, inhaling his spicy scent deeply as his arms wrap loosely around you.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you. That’s just…a part of my life that I’m not always proud of and it scared me to think you would just go into something that I had locked.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I should have just left it alone. I didn’t mean to break your trust. It means a lot to me.”

“You didn’t…just…ask me first next time. Okay?”

“Yea. Okay.”

Later that evening, Gabi had been put to bed and the two of you were on the couch playing on your phones, re-runs of The Office playing in the background. Frankie loved how he could just be with you, even if you weren’t really talking or touching, it still felt good having you there and near him. He looks up from his phone and smiles softly at you. 

You’re typing enthusiastically with a silly grin on your face before you finally notice him looking, and you put your phone down on the coffee table and lean forward for a smooch. He pulls you in deeper, swiping his tongue into your mouth and sucking your lip as he pulls away.

“Mmmm. Hold that thought. I gotta pee.” You get up and head to the bathroom and Frankie leans back on the armrest as he begins to scroll through his phone again. He can hear your phone chiming rapidly, one after the other, and he leans forward enough to see you’re getting a barrage of text messages. Because when you put your phone down, you left it face up.

Surely it wouldn’t hurt to just…make sure it wasn’t an emergency, right? Someone is trying really hard to get in touch with you. He checks down the hall to make sure you’re still in the bathroom before sliding forward and picking up your phone. It’s Maidali. All of the texts are Maidali.

Dali🌻: OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I AM STILL FUCKING SHAKING.

Dali🌻: GIRL IF YOU DON’T TELL HIM HOW YOU WANT HIM TO WEAR THAT AND TIE YOUR ASS UP I’M GONNA SLAP YOU

Dali🌻: YES SIR I WILL NOT CUM QUIETLY

Dali🌻: WAIT DO YOU THINK WILL HAS ONE? BYE. GOTTA GO 🤸🕳️

And just like that, any lingering annoyance at you overstepping his boundaries evaporates and he feels his dick jump in his pants at the implications of the texts and what that means. He jolts as he hears the toilet flush and scrambles to put the phone back down how you left it, feeling incredibly guilty, and a lot of other things as well.

You check yourself out in the mirror, twisting this way and that. It’d taken a good ten minutes to put the damn set on, but now that it was, you were very happy. A little black lace triangle bralette with straps coming from between the cups to wrap around your neck, complimenting the curves of your breasts as they meet the shoulder straps and curl around your neck like a choker. Two more straps sprout from beneath the cups to wrap around  your ribcage, showing a sliver of skin in between. And a tiny pair of cheeky crotchless panties with two straps criss-crossing in an X below your belly button, the back of the lace cut perfectly so your butt cheeks hung out of it. 

Hopefully this would nudge him in the right direction. Ever since the incident with the duffle bag, Frankie hadn’t brought it up again, much to your annoyance. You had been hoping he would get the hint without prodding him but, well, that’s what this lingerie set was for. Frankie had called you earlier today to ask to take you out to dinner, and you had something very special planned for after.

You usually weren’t this forward, or this confident with yourself before, especially in your curves and the way most lingerie revealed it. But you felt comfortable with Frankie, you trusted him. You knew at this point that he loved you and found you irresistible, even if it seemed ridiculous anyone would feel that way about you. You were willing to put yourself out on a ledge.

Frankie 🐈🐟: Finishing up something before we go, just let yourself in when you get here 🖤

Okay

You stare at your phone and take one more anticipatory breath before opening the door up with the key Frankie had given you a few weeks back, having graduated from a lockbox. You push the door open and step inside, but something is off. The room is only illuminated by one light, the rest of the home is dark. It’s quiet. Too quiet, like Frankie wasn’t even here at all. 

Maybe he’s out back in the shed or the garage.

You swallow and move forward, pushing the door closed without a glance as you step towards the couch.

“Frankie? Are you here?”

You don’t even hear it coming. Suddenly, a toned arm wraps around your waist and pulls you backwards into something firm and unevenly lumpy while a large palm clamps over your mouth so you can’t scream. You squeal and try to wriggle free, your heart pounding with fright until your senses come back to you. 

That smell. That deep rumbly laugh. The thumb stroking your cheek. The other hand sliding under the hem of your tee to caress the skin there. The hooked nose pressing into the side of your neck as Frankie releases you.

You whirl around, ready to chew him out for the scare but your words catch in your mouth.

He’s wearing the tactical vest.

Fuck.

FUCK.

“I–. What–. Uhhhh….” The words die in your throat as you simply stand and stare, mouth ajar. Frankie’s smiling broadly and chuckles, chucking you under the chin to close your mouth.

“I’m guessing you like it?”

It’s everything you expected and more. It is a little too small, but that might actually be to your benefit. The way the straps over his shoulders frame and define how broad they are, his arms straining in the sleeves of the flannel he’s wearing beneath it. And fuck, did it make him look thick as hell, husky, firm, and strong and you could already feel that familiar burning deep in your belly. Your gaze trails down to his waistline. He’d even taken it upon himself to strap on some sort of utility/holster belt that highlighted the stupid belt buckle he always wears, and it resulted more of a puff around the tummy than you even thought. You felt like you were on fire..

“Fuck. Yea.”

And then you launch at him.

“Oh shit!” His curse is muffled as you leap up onto him and wrap your legs around his waist, the straps of the utility belt bumping against your thighs as you cross them behind his back. He catches you and kisses back just as enthusiastically, thrusting his tongue into yours with a moan as you wrap your arms around his neck, sinking your fingers into his hair and pushing his hat off. The force of your leap had sent him bumping into the wall, and he turns and presses your back against it as he grinds his pelvis into you. The kevlar and hard breastplates beneath it push into you, the friction and weight against your nipples making you whine pathetically as you roll your hips against him, desperately seeking more contact.

“Alright hang on. Wait a minute, wait a minute. We gotta talk first real quick.” Frankie lowers you back to your feet and steps back. You huff in frustration, but give him your attention. He continues. “I have something to confess.”

You blink. “Oh.”

He grimaces slightly. “The other day…your phone was going off. And I…looked.”

“When? Why?”

“The day you found my stuff. With Dali.” Your eyes widen and you cover your face with your hands, and Frankie feels his chest constrict when you don’t even mention his transgression at all, bypassing it entirely to apologize to him. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, I just needed to scream about it with someone and–”

“Do you want that?”

You don’t hesitate for a moment, nor do you need any clarification. “Yes.”

“All of it?”

“Yea…do you?”

“Oh yea. Just wanted to make sure first. You’re not mad?”

You huff out a laugh. “No. We can just call it even on the snooping. “It’s funny…”  You chuckle once more to yourself and cross your arms at the hem of your shirt and pull it off before unbuttoning and quickly pulling down your shorts. “I wore this because I was going to try and beg you for it today!”

“You didn’t. Holy shit. This is…fuck, this is hot baby!” He steps closer to you, trails a rough finger pad from your hip bone to one of the straps, fingering it lightly between his thumb and pointer. “What a coincidence.” He pulls the band away from your hip and releases, the elasticity causing the band to snap back against your skin. You part your lips. Your heart is pounding. “You tell me if we need to stop.” He rasps, and you feel the hair rising along your arms and the back of your neck at how fucked up about you he sounds. 

“Yea, um, I researched this thing called the stoplight system that’s like, green if you're great, yellow if you're kinda uncomfortable, and red if you want it to stop. We can do that.”

He smirks, running his palms up and down your hips. “You researched kinky sex shit for us?”

“Yea…”

He groans, his fingers pressing into your skin hard enough to leave marks. “How dark?”

You look at him through your lashes. “Dark. Be mean. Fucking wreck me, Frankie.”

He raises his eyebrows and before he can grab you, you take off running down the hallway, your tinkling laughter trailing behind you.

‘Oh ho, so this is what we’re doing, hm? Alright…”

You didn’t realize he could run that fast, especially in his gear, even with the head start, because the moment you even step towards the bed he tackles you sideways onto it and flips you over, fusing his mouth to yours as you wriggle beneath him. You reach around to tickle his waist under the vest and he grabs your hands and pushes them down into the mattress.

“Hey! Be a good girl now.” 

You giggle and try to tickle him one more time but his grip is too strong and he growls, flipping you over and grabbing both your wrists in one hand and yanking them back, hard enough to display his strength but not hard enough to hurt. You squirm more just to be a brat, and he snarls under his breath, scooting down your thighs enough to land one sharp smack on your hip. You yelp and whimper, lifting your head up to watch him. 

“Behave.” He glares at you and whips a long black plastic strand out of one of the many pockets on the back of his vest and loops it around your wrists. You turn your head to watch him and your lips part as you watch him slip one side through the latch, yanking up on the other end several times to tighten it, brow furrowed and lips pursed in concentration. From your angle the movement resembles him jacking off, and you feel wetness seeping into your panties as he finishes, checking with you to make sure it’s not too tight or uncomfortable. 

The minute he pulls back you test it, squirming and pulling at the plastic, rubbing your thighs back and forth to try and alleviate the growing ache between them. Frankie was right, the unassuming little plastic straps are strong. You wouldn't have been able to get out even if you wanted to. Frankie grabs you by your bound arms and flips you over once more, humming as he watches you struggle, pleased with his work. “Uh uh. No.” The mattress dips more as he presses down on your thighs, effectively keeping you from continuing your movements, and you whine as he snickers at your frustration. “You don’t get to feel good until I tell you, and you haven’t been behaving. Now I have to make sure you don’t do that again.” He reaches up and pinches the nipples visible under the black lace of your bralette, your head falling back as a broken moan escapes your lips. But his hands don’t stay, he leaves them abruptly and takes you by each ankle, bending your knees and pushing your legs to your chest and then to opposite sides. 

“Fuck.” His nostrils flare as he sees that your panties are crotchless and you can tell he wants to abandon what he’s doing and touch you there, but he quickly refocuses his attention and pulls two more longer strands of zip ties out of his vest and loops one around each upper thigh and ankle, cinching them together so fast you can barely even process what he’s doing. So methodical, so expedient, competent and fucking sexy. You’d blush at the way you’re completely spread open to him if you weren’t so aroused, he hasn’t even touched you yet and you’re already shifting your hips towards him for any kind of touch. Touch me. Please touch me.

He doesn’t. “Color?”

“Green! It’s so fucking green! Please touch me Cat.” 

He smirks once more, reaching into a pocket of his utility belt and pulls a small knife out. 

“Color.”

“...Green.”  

He hums, bringing the tiny tip of the knife against the back of your thigh, trailing it up and around your mound over the lace of your panties, up to the center of your ribcage before reaching your breasts. “Don’t fucking move.” 

You don’t, holding your breath as he touches your nipples with the tip of the knife, the cool of the metal seeping through the lace and making them harden and rise. “So beautiful.” He praises, and he slides the knife under the band of your bralette and pulls up, cutting the seam and the little cups fall away to the side, exposing your breasts completely to him, before cutting the rest of the straps to pull it all the way off.

“Oh shit.” You whimper. He cups them in both hands and squeezes, sliding his hands up until he has a nipple between the fingers of each hand, and pinches them, sliding his thumb across the nubs to circle them until you’re squirming once again for him. He chuckles darkly and gives the little buds a slight tug before getting off the bed and crossing to the other side, right at your head.

“Now what should I do with all this here, hmm?” You struggle in futility, the tight frog-tie he put you in making you completely immobile, he can see you like it and he continues to take his sweet time just to see how desperate you get. How much he can make you saturate the bedspread under you with your pre cum before he’s even touched you. 

“I can do whatever I want. I don’t think you know what you asked for. Or maybe you do. Do you want me to shove my cock down your throat ‘til you tear up? Do you want me to force you to cum again and again until I say you’re done? Hmmm? I’ll fuck you so hard you can’t fucking walk and everyone will be able to smell my cum dripping out of you and know you like to get fucked like a little slut. Do you want that?”

“Yea.” You pant. “I want it. Touch me. Please touch me.”

“No. Not yet.” He slides his hands under your armpits and hauls you up the bed until your head hangs off the edge between his legs. He pauses, cupping your cheek, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb before pushing his entire thumb into the wet heat of your mouth. You moan, your eyes fluttering closed as you take the thick calloused digit into your mouth, taking what little he gave you, tickling your tongue against the tip of his thumb. He pulls away once more and pushes his pants and boxers down in one go, stepping forward so his hard cock rests on top of your face.

“Color?”

“Green.” 

“Open your fucking mouth.”

You swallow and comply, your head hanging down and your open mouth the perfect height for him to push his cock in and you tighten your mouth around him while he starts sliding in and out. He takes it slow at first, petting your face and cooing as he bends over you, shallow thrusts evolving into deeper ones. Every thirty seconds or so he would pull completely out so you can catch your breath before he pushes back in, occasionally pressing against the side of your cheek, his cock making the flesh bulge out, smacking you gently with his palm on that cheek. 

His noises are fucking sinful, and you whine around his cock at the grunts and praises he’s giving you. The sighs and pants, the moans and groans and curses. That deep rumbly baritone could get you off on it’s own, and you feel yourself clench around nothing as he continues to use your mouth. He notches himself at the back of your throat and you swallow around him, your throat constricting and opening, the strong cords of muscles releasing tension enough for him to push down your throat, fucking into your mouth as you swirl your tongue up down and around his shaft.

“Ungh…yea, that’s it. Take it. All the way girl, I know you can.” He keeps pushing until your lips are flush with the base, his balls pressing against your nose and he gyrates against you, watching as your throat expands and deflates when his thick cock slides in and out, the little triangle of your tongue poking out of your mouth and sliding all over his shaft. “Keep doing that, run that cute little tongue all over. Fuck.” 

You moan around him at the praise, and as a reward he moves his hand down your stomach and between your thighs, finally, finally touching you where you need him. He separates you with his pointer and ring finger, rubbing his middle finger on your clit before sliding down more, scooping up the mess you’ve made and smears it around.

“I’m never going to get over how wet you get when you suck my dick.” He murmurs as he pushes three fingers into you at once, stretching you full. You cry out at the intrusion, the sound tapering off into a wail as he starts finger fucking you , stretching you open for whatever he planned to do to you later. Your body reacts like it was starved, You clamp your thighs shut around his hand, your walls clenching around his fingers as you try to chase them each time they leave you. You gag suddenly and he pulls his cock back out again, dripping with saliva to make sure you’re okay as you catch your breath.

“Please, I need more.” You beg.

He gives it, pressing his palm against your clit and grinding it against your clit as he starts to slam his fingers into your pussy, wriggling them against your walls and rubbing that one spongy spot inside you that drives you crazy. You’re so worked up, you’ve been imagining this happening and waited for it for so long that you can already feel your orgasm building. His wet cock is resting against your cheek and you move for it, mouthing at the tip of him. He steps forward so you can suckle at his balls. You know how you can bring him to his knees when you do that and he almost loses his control, his hand on faltering against your pussy, one arm bracketing your head as he bends over with a grunt. 

You continue licking at him, swirling and lathing your tongue from the underside up and around to each sack, gently rolling them into your mouth with a soft moan so he can feel the vibration. You could get him to cum from this alone and he knows it, so he begrudgingly pulls back so you can only access his cock, so you lap all the wetness back up before you pull him back in your mouth yourself. He slides in to the hilt once more, fucking of your throat as he resumes working you. 

The gulping sound of him filling the entire cavity of your throat fills the room along with his sighs and pants, the wet slurps and slapping of his balls against your face and his knuckles against your pussy lips as he continues to jam his fingers into you. It’s too much, you’re full of him and his taste and his smell and just everything in every way and you finally snap, arching your back and gurgling lowly around his cock, the vibrations enough to push him over too. 

He pulls out abruptly, jerking his cock over you. You’re gonna take my cum on your face. Stick your tongue out.”

Your body works entirely on instinct, you’re still fuzzy from the aftershocks of your orgasm but you stick your tongue out and curl it towards him and he cums with a raspy groan, warm ropes of it splashing on your jaw, throat, and neck.

He bends over you, his palms on the bed by your shoulders and his arms caging you in as you both catch your breath. He exhales sharply, standing back up to his full height and cups your cheek, stroking the dry side. “Color?”

Your eyes are closed and you sigh as you answer. “MMMmmmm. I’m so green.”

“Good.” He presses a kiss to your plump wet lips and moves to the other side of the bed, kneeling to settle between your spread, bound thighs. Frankie groans in satisfaction as he looks at you so blatantly opened for him, swollen and flushed with recent orgasm, your juices leaking towards the bed. He bends down and lathes the entire flat of his tongue through your slit, scooping up your mess and swallowing it with a groan. You squirm under him, still sensitive from your first orgasm but he doesn’t let up, pressing your thighs down to the mattress to spread you open even further, alternating licks, pokes, nibbles, and nuzzles into you, building in pressure quickly until you’re suddenly right there again. 

“Oh fuck. Cat, I’m–I’m gonna cum again.” 

“Good.” He pushes his fingers back into you, scissoring them as he nips roughly at your clit, then nuzzles his mustache into your clit and jerks his head from side to side, the friction of his nose and the coarse hairs the perfect cocktail of prickling and pleasure to push you through your release once more. He licks it all up, suckling you clean before pulling away with a smirk, moving his mouth up your thighs and nipping alternating bites and sucking kisses, leaving wet little discs of light purple bruising behind to make sure you don’t forget. 

You look at him with hooded eyes, a blurry haze permeating your senses. He slides his hands up your thighs until he reaches your slit, pulling at the sides so he can see your fluttering hole clenching around nothing.

Frankie brings his hand to his jaw, stroking his fingers through the scruff still shining with your arousal on it as he observes you. “Look at this little pussy, so desperate to be fucked. Maybe I should just leave you like this so I can see how desperate you are to be fucked raw.”

“Don’t you fucking dare I will kill you!”

His eyebrows tilt and he laughs, reaching out to grab you by the ass and pull you to the edge of the bed. He’s already hard again, his cock bobbing as he notches himself at  your entrance. He grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look at him. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” On the last word, he pushes forward, entering you all the way to the hilt and quickly escalating to a brutal pace. 

You can barely breathe, mouth open and uttering only grunts and cries as he slams into you. And he is a fucking vision, his teeth bared and the cords in his neck bulging, his eyes big black onyx pools. He looks like something else, some sort of beast that has taken over as he fucks into you so hard you are progressively getting pushed up the bed, only for him to grab you by the hips and pull you back down to thrust hard into you again, and there’s nothing you can do as you just take every inch, every ridge and vein and grazing of his pubic hair against you. You can’t hold on to anything, you can’t touch him, you can’t even touch yourself, you’re just how he wants you and your body is subject to his every whim, and for some reason that drives you absolutely wild. 

And the vest. That fucking vest that he left on while he fucks you, like he read your fucking mind, knowing you’d want him to keep it on. There’s sweat gathering on his neck and it drips down, wetting the grey tee he has on under the flannel, and you wonder how much of his sweat and grime has accumulated into the fabric of the vest over the years. He just looks so big, so imposing and he completely surrounds and fills you to the point that you can’t do anything but stare at him, the material of his vest puffing in and out as he breathes over you. “Jesus christ Frankie you look so fucking sexy.”

He breaks in that moment, leaning down, palm slamming next to your head onto the mattress as he lifts a knee onto it too, pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss, quick and fast, all teeth and tongues before he pulls back up and returns to character.

Your tits are bouncing and pushed up from your arms being behind your back and your tummy is jiggling and you know you’re going to have bruises where his hands are gripping your hips and pulling you back and forth onto his cock, where his body is hitting yours, where the zip ties are starting to rub into your skin but it only adds to the burning in your core and spreading out into your whole body. You can feel it rising, throbbing in intensity as it creeps up and out, flushing your chest and neck, still sticky from the globs of cum he left there.

“Does anyone know you like being fucked like this? Huh? Like a fucking slut, all covered in my cum? Coming in here with that hot fucking outfit…yea, you’re my little fuckdoll aren’t you? Just for me to fuck whenever I want?”

Oh, what the fuck. What the actual fuck is wrong with you because that is so so wrong and you know it’s wrong but why is your pussy clenching?!?! And why are you suddenly RIGHT THERE, right on the precipice of cumming to the point you’re almost bending in half under him, a long whine escaping your lips and increasing in volume as you teeter indefinitely, thinking back to the day you first met him, this sexy older man and now he was stuffing you full, fucking you like no one else ever had or probably ever would.

Until he hums and murmurs how much you liked that, pressing his thumb against your clit and rubbing it until your eyes roll back in your head and you cum with a scream, every nerve in your body lighting aflame and you can feel your cum gushing out onto him. 

But before you can settle he pulls out and flips you over, the fronts of your calves, your chest, and the side of  your head pressed to the mattress with your ass up and spread in the air.

He takes one of your ass cheeks in each hand, squeezing and separating them as you sit pretty waiting for him while he just looks. Looks at the mess dripping out of your pussy and down your thighs, at the zip ties wrapped tight around your thighs and ankles leaving angry red marks, the way you're resting on your knees with your feet pointed in the air, arms pulled behind your back, that you are spread so open he can see everything. He suddenly decides you have too much in the way, pulls his knife once more and drags it along your ass cheeks and under the lace of your panties, cutting them clean off.

Three orgasms in and you still want him, you want him to use you and cum and feel good and make those delicious noises again but he still waits, running his hands up your plump ass cheeks and pushing his fingernails in, only to drag them back down, the nails leaving light red marks like stripes down the skin.

“Baby please.” You beg. “Please fuck me, I need your fucking cock so bad. Want you to cum. Please take it.” You wriggle your ass in his face, physically exhausted but still feeling that need for him to fill you, to be one. 

“Babe. Color?”

You turn and look at him, your eyes glazed and heavy. His chest is heaving in his vest and his cock is red and angry and begging for release, and you feel yourself involuntarily shiver as you take in the sight.

“Green.”

“Good girl. That’s what I thought.” He pushes into you again, resuming that same brutal pace from before , the slap-slap slapping of skin almost as loud as your screams each time he jams into you. You swear you can feel him all the way up to your cervix, a dull pleasure-pain every time he hits home, your pussy spread open as wide as it can as he impales you on his cock. Your ass is jiggling and he fucking loves it, landing a few more light slaps as your cunt takes him and pushes him out, you’re creamy cum gathering around his cock as he slides in and out and he groans at the sight of it. 

You’re completely boneless, face and chest pressed in exhaustion to the mattress as he pushes down on your back, causing your ass to arc higher into him. You can’t even move, your muscles protesting and you give in completely to him, whimpering as he slides his hand up your spine, grabs your bound arms, slides the other arm around your waist and lifts you up so you’re all but standing on your knees on the edge of the bed.

But he’s still gentle, he’s still Frankie, the grip on your arms is for show only and he nuzzles into your neck as he thrusts up into you, impaling you on his cock as you tremble in his arms.

“Want you to cum again.” He whispers in your ear.

“I can’t. Frankie, I can’t.”

“You can, and you will. I told you I was going to force you to cum until I said you were done.”

You exhale sharply and lean back against his chest, your head falling back onto his shoulders, your eyes fluttering shut as you just feel him slide in and out of your, hear the vulgar squelching of your mingled juices and purr like a content kitten, until a sudden buzzing sound pricks your ears up.

‘What…?”

And then his mouth is back on you, his tongue biting your ear and swirling around the back at the same exact moment he reaches around your leg and presses a tiny little vibrator right to your clit. You jerk back into his arms with a mewl before gyrating your hips against both his cock and the vibrator, your cries so loud it’s almost comical. You have a fleeting thought that you are glad the houses in this neighborhood aren’t that close together before Frankie chooses that time to dial up the tempo, pressing the bullet harder into you and burrowing his cock further into your pussy. 

“Still green?” He pants in your ear.

“Yea.” You whisper.

Your orgasm slams through you so fast you didn’t even feel it building, and it feels different, this one. The regular one yes, still happening but there’s something else, a sharp tingling feeling almost like when you have to pee really bad. “Fr-Frankie…wait. I think…” and then you stiffen and go completely silent, your throat working to push out sound but it gets stuck, slamming your eyes closed as you absolutely drench him to a level you’ve never felt before. 

“Oh fuck yea.” He grunts, pulling the vibrator off you and throwing it to the side as you convulse in the aftershocks in his arm. His hand leaves your waist and takes one of your breasts in his palm, squeezing you tight against him as he focuses on himself now, his hips stuttering, faltering, pumps erratic and he spills into you in panting moans against your neck.

He holds you there for a moment before letting you fall back to the mattress and onto your side as gracefully as he can. Your whole body is shaking, your chest heaving, sweat trickling between your shoulders and your zip tied wrists and arms. Nothing else exists, just the buzzing in your head and the hazy waves of sensation spreading from your clit all the way out to your fingers and toes. 

Something breaks through the haze, a spreading of warmth on your lower back and moving upwards, and suddenly your arms are free and your shoulders roll forward against the mattress in reprieve. Both your legs released immediately after. Those large palms graze over you again, running from your ankles up your calves and the backs of your thighs, up and over your ass, your back and over your shoulders, giving them a few squeezes as a hand pushes your hair out of your face and kisses your cheek.

“Hey.”

“MMmmmmm hi.” You turn to him, squinting your eyes at him with a dopey grin, rolling over to stretch your limbs out completely before reaching out to him. He comes gladly, his hooked nose nuzzling into your neck, pressing kisses and licking up the sweat that had gathered there.

“You okay? Was that good?”

You run your hand over your forehead, smoothing back the hair that frizzed out and the sweat that had gathered there. But then you sit up abruptly, looking at the wet pooled stain right where you had been. “That was amazing. But...um, I think I ruined your comforter. I don’t know what happened, that’s never happened before.” You grimace, your cheeks burning as you reach down between your legs at the moisture there. There was your normal cum and his, but also a lighter wetness. 

He smiles and gives you a light kiss. “Nah. I can just throw it in the washer. Or I might just leave it, cause that was sexy as fucking hell.”

“Yea?”

“Yea! You’ve really never squirted before?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so.”

“Well fuck, that’s a confidence boost. I’m happy I could make you feel that good.”

You sigh. “Soooo fucking good. All of it.” You pull out of his arms and flop back onto the mattress. “You?”

He hums, nodding. “We’ll just say we have to do this again sometime, that’s how good it was. But you’re probably going to have to cover up for a few days.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “Why?”

He sits up, trailing his hands around all the bruises forming on your skin like a connect-the-dots. “You might have a few marks on you tomorrow.”

“Oh no.” You mockingly whine. “People are going to think I got kidnapped.”

“Or they will just think we are disgustingly kinky.”

“We are.”

He laughs as you turn fully toward him. “So…have you ever done that kind of stuff before with anyone else?”

“No.”

“Hm. I wonder why?”

You shrug lightly. “I dunno, I just never thought about it before. I’m really comfortable with you. And you’re so fucking sexy, you make me want to do all this stuff I’ve never thought about before. It’s like you opened Pandora’s Box or something.”

“Mmmmm. That makes me feel good.”

He gathers you closer, and you nestle into the warmth of his arms. “Have you? With anyone?”

 “Not like this. It’s never been like this, with anyone else. I’ve never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. Sometimes I’m afraid I go too far and I’m always trying to reign myself in, but I feel like I don’t have to do that with you anymore. I like it.”

“I love who you are. I don’t want you to have to reign any of yourself in. I love the rough and the soft in you.” You kiss him, slowly licking around his lips and slipping your tongue into his mouth and he opens for you, pulling you further into him as if your bodies could merge.

“Hey Frankie?”

“Mmmm?”

“You better still be taking me to dinner. I’m fucking starving.”

You hadn’t meant it. You really hadn’t meant it, especially after last time. You were just trying to help, trying to ease Frankie’s burden because he was working and you weren’t back in school yet. After several double shifts back-to-back, you’d decided to attack the pile of clothes that had unusually accumulated across Frankie’s bedroom floor. You’d just finished the first load, taking it into the bedroom and folding it carefully before hanging up his shirts and putting away his boxers and rattier tees in the dresser. But as you move things around and reorganize to make room for the additions, your finger catches on something thin and sharp, like paper. You pull your hand out with a yelp, licking the tip of your finger to stave off any blood before reaching in to find the culprit of your pain.

It’s a thick packet of various papers, folded over, but enough in quantity that it’s not a tight fold, and you slide your thumb underneath to look at what it is. 

It’s a copy of his pilot’s license. And the suspension. Individual found with cocaine in his system. And a trial date, but for what, you didn’t know. Was…he still in trouble? But before you can read any further, a voice you usually love hearing rumbles from the door.

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

The Bondage Position

Chapter 12