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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 2 years

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A Suitable Alternative

Masterlist

Summary: When the inquisitors are caught assaulting Lord Vaders darling little engineer two things happen. 1. Vader swiflty teaches his underlings a lesson. And 2. The sith lord finally puts his little one in her place. Which unbeknownst to her is beside him.

Warnings: yandere!vader, Suitless!Vader (as in not clinically needed) , possessive!Vader, attempted sexual assault, swearing, canonical violence, threats, coercive & obsessive behaviour, semi forced relationship.

A/N: *insert ben affleck smoking meme here* Like what do i say about this? Incase you didnt already know I love a dark yandere tropes. Powerful Posessive men who will fuck up anyone who touches their darling. So yeah. Backtrack about a week i decided to pop starwars prequel on for background noise then kind of... watched it, then watched Kenobi. Anakin is prety much the definition of a soft obsessive yandere. And vader? Psychotic yandere. And well this is what you get, i genuinely couldnt help it. Enjoy my fuckery while i go yeet myself off a bridge and look for my moral compass. 👋😀

You whined, squirming uncomfortably your torso pressed tightly to the table. Tears blurred your vision as you struggled, the chubby face of your tormenter split into a wide grotesque grin. He was seated infront of you pleased with himself. Chuckling to himself before leaning back as he used the force to hold your frail form bent over the table, leaving you vulnerable to the others in the room.

"Aww dont cry, isnt this what you like? The power? The invisible holding you in position? Im sure your used to this? Being bent over like a little bitch" he teased, the others chuckled. Even the gaurds snickered at you. You hissed shaking your head still desperately fighting the force that held you still. But it was no use you were stuck.

"N-no i told you! Theres nothing; stop it! Please!" You cried out, not above begging the fifth brother for some leniency. You knew that your arrival had put a few noses out of joint. Many who spent their lives groveling at the feet of lord vader envied you. The interest the lord had in you roused jealousy and anger.

It wasnt like you had done anything, the terrifying male just didn't ignore you as he did others, nor did he threaten or scold you. Youd done nothing to earn a scolding. Perhaps that was the problem? Because your dealings with the sith lord were secret, so according to the inquisitors and troops you hadnt done anything deserving of his attention. Little did they know you had simply done your job in the background. You served Lord Vader just like them, followed orders given to you. Rumors were rampant and everyone seemed to believe you were some kind of whore.

They hissed filthy things in the corridors as you passed, subtly pointing to you and making vulgar hand gestures before laughing, all the while staring at you like meat. Many thought you had been privileged enough to see him without his suit and won his favor serving him on your back. All of this talk because of you survived his interest for more then a few weeks.

It wasnt like that at all. As always the truth is much more boring then the tall tales whispered in the corridors. In actual fact you were an engineering apprentice. Your unsure how or why but lord vader had seen your personal schematics for new bionic prostetics, ones youd been designing for your sister who'd had a nasty accident when you were a child. He had been impressed by the design and had commissioned you to make one for him. And so you did. You made a state of the art prostetic and fitted it for him. That was all, youd measured him, made it and had been observed cloesly by the sith as you worked, he seemed weary of trusting you at first. You could understand it, you were makingnhim a new limb. but he soon realised that you would consult him everystep of the way without having to be spied upon. your task came to a very lackluster end, you were summoned each night for a week to install and configure it, making final adjustments to it untill it was perfect. And after that were simply sent on your way with a large sum of credits you didnt know what to do with.

It probably didnt help that since that week of evening visits the sith lord made a point to greet you in the halls when he saw you, sometimes a quick nod, other times stopping to ask about projects or give you new orders, usually to do with small issues onboard his ships.

These small interactions didnt go unnoticed, but before you could see the growing animosity in his closest underlings the sith lord had made a habit of checking up on you once a week. He seemed to treat his visits like a reprieve, for a an hour or so he could forget his responsibilities and investigate your latest projects, share thoughts on upgrades to the fleet or codeing on the ships mainframe. He even toyed with the idea of having you look into weaponry for him. You quickly found that he was quite advanced with engineering and coding he seemed to have an affinity for more then just the force. And honestly it made you relax around him, it was easier to forget who he was when your discussing technical advancements. Youd even go as far to say you developed a friendship with him, allbeit a very insignificant long distance one.

The issues surrounding gossip only became apparent when vader needed an impromptu sensitivity adjustment to his hand, his hydraulics had almost crushed his lightsaber in battle and that could not happen again. So he dropped into your tiny personal chop shop on the dark destroyer unannounced. And he was unimpressed to say the least declareing the space was too cramped for talent such as yours and that you needed a bigger space work. That night youd been moved in to his biggest ship; the executor. And given a captains quaters, roomy with its own wash room and new huge workshop to tinker in.

"Oh no, a lie? I wonder what he does to you when you spout lies?" The fifth brother rose with another cackle, a high pitched wheezing laugh of a weak man. He pressed forward, palms flat on the table before you, scoffing down at you.

"I dont; we dont even! Please let me go! I havent done anything!" You panicked craning your head as much as you could with your neck cramping from pressure behinde it. Tears glazing your eyes but you refused to let them fall. This was your fault, you'd come to the meeting room intent on waiting for lord vader to inform him of a new code youd been asked to develop.

Vader had asked you to investigate a possible track and trace protocol that could be useful to the control room. Youd managed to create something better. Discovering a way to automatically target hackers and implant spyware into the assailants system not only ravaging their communication but also relaying all data to the executors own systems.

In your excitement youd sought out lord vader, forgetting that the only true safe places for you on this ship were your quarters and workshop. And thats when you were unceremoniously dragged into the room and the taunting began.

"Oh, you would have us believe your not whoreing yourself out to him? Honestly its laughable. So pathetic, you think we dont notice. That we dont see his favor of you? Perhaps we can share in his delights-" the words were venom, spat at you with greed and loathing. A sinister promise below them as he began rounding the table in your direction.

"NO! NOOO! STOP LET ME GO!" You screamed trying to shake his hand away as his palm landed on your shoulder skimming your back making your skin crawl. You sobbed trying the thrash as the fifth brothers hand moved over you, following the dip in your back heading south with intent. You struggle, fighting as much as you could as the inquisitors hands roamed you, squeezing, rubbing and pinching making crude comments to the others about what a comfortable ride you must be. All the while you begged for him to stop. Threats of what would happen when vader found out were on the tip of your tongue. But fear of your own retribution should you use your lord in such a way made you bite your tongue.

You felt it before you heard anything, the atmosphere changed. The room grew cold and a sense of anticipation hung in the air as the door behind you opened. Everyone froze as the mechanical breathing of your lord cut through the room leaving no doubt to who had just waled in. It was clear no one had thought this through. You could almost hear their panicked thoughts wondering how they didn't feel him coming? But then again it was lord vader, if he didnt want to be detected he wouldnt be, it was part of his arsenal.

You heard him pause at the door, his feet planted to the floor in what could only be him taking in the sight before him.

You felt a shame youd never experienced before wash over you hearing your lords breaths break through the silence. You stayed pinned down face flaming in mortified defeat as you knew he was staring at you pitifully bent over the table. Your ass though covered by your uniform was still displayed,and in your mind a little too large to feel decent bent over like this. Your tears finally fell as your lord saw first hand how truley weak you were. It was soul crushing to think this may be the moment the sith finally realised how pathetic you were.

You bit your lip, holding your breath for a moment waiting for what ever was to come next, resigning yourself to the fate lord Vader chose. A laugh, taunting? Disappointment? Or maybe lord vader will simply ignore your situation and abandon you, let the fifth brother continue as he pleased.

"What. Is. This?" The words were distorted, almost lost in translation despite being spoken slowly between breaths. You could almost say the voice coded words sounded angry. No one made a move to answer him, probably because you all knew he wasn't asking whats going on, he was asking for an explanation. He wanted to know who and what had instigated such an attack. He wanted to see if anyone would lie. It was. Test, a challenge noone accepted.

You expected to hear a plethora of excuses, stuttering words or apologies. Hell even a ridiculous 'she attacked me' lie. But no. Instead you heard the inquisitors fearful gasps, they crouched and jerked back from their lord. Cowering. Had you not still been held down you too would have buckled under the quick, scalding burst of rage that permeated the air making it thick and painfull to breath. Or perhaps it was just your fearful anxiety that was threatening to suffocate you. You felt the darkness seeping into the room, a rageing tidal wave of fury and disgust, you dread to think what it felt like to the other force sensitve occupants.

The need and rage rolled into one as Vader finally spied what was causing the commotion. He made sure to pluck the force in the room with a vengeful malice, pressing his anger into the threads of the inquisitors own force making them each take a scuttle back in fear.

Vader tolerated many things on his fleet that he probably shouldn't. The occasional celebration, small quantities of alcohol hell he granted sick leave when people clearly faked their illness. He even overlooked some force sensitive stormtroopers, going as far as to mask them with his own force signiture when palpantine decided to visit. He would turn a blind eye to them aslong as they were loyal to him. Yes. He allowed these things to slip past the net so to speak, he never wanted to be as restrictive as the jedi.

But assaulting a young female who served him was not something he would allow.

Especially when its his favourite woman in the entire fleet. A young engineer who had enhanced his bionic hand to the point it no longer caused him pain once attatched.

He had grown fond of his little engineer. You were a marvel to behold, new concepts and technology seemed to just pour from you when you began tinkering or coding, you seemed to do the impossible. It hadnt taken him long to come to the conclusion that you were worth the time and effort. He could give you the means to make great things, you could innovate and modify his own fleet of ships and grant him an edge which they currently lacked.

But in the time he had indulged you, he had become somewhat attached, lines had been blurred. He told himself it was to manipulate you. That he needed to get close to bend you to his will without threats of violence;they would make you nervous and bring about mistakes which he did not want to deal with.

And he also wanted to understand this new odd darkness he felt. It was almost like Anakin and vader combined into this depraved poisonous yet protective longing. He wanted you. All of you, he wanted to crawl inside of your mind and occupy your every thought, to have your heart for himself and be your entire reason for living. He wanted to keep you mind, body and soul, to own you. To never allow anyone to ever see or speak to you. He needed to be your everything.

And most confusing of all? He wanted to protect you. Sheild you from any who would dare harm you. Not out of sentiment, or maker forbid love. But because you were his. You belonged to him, why would he allow anyone to tarnish what is rightfully his? He always belived his protective urges were because you were small. Defenceless and naive, much like padme. There was a quiet reverence to you he had come to appreciate and crave. He coveted your admiration, fed off of it.

He knew he was toeing the line. He was more attached to you then he would like to admit. He was bordering possessive, he didnt like you being far from him, which was the reason for moving you onto his own ship. He'd thought it would be enough to have you on the executor, walking the same halls never being too far from him, he'd made certain your clearance never allowed you to wander into the bowels of the ship. You were contained to a quadrant spanning five levels and six hundred metres squared. Not that you had realised that yet.

But having you here handlt quelled his obsessive need for you, and so he had still been keeping a close eye on you. Shadowing you, checking your movements during the day by tracing your unique access code. And when he had a spare few moments he'd hunt you down and give you random meaningless tasks just so he had a reason to give you orders inperson. Not that you seemed to notice. Or if you did, you didnt mind.

It was your ignorance to his odd behaviour that spurred him on. Excited him even, you were someone who accepted his dominance without question or complaint. Not in a fearful sense either. You didnt cower from him, your life force didnt tremble or try to resist him when his own prodded at you. There was just a calm understanding there, you accepted his might. Even when the power radiating off of him was suffocating, you still sat there obediently, loyally waiting his next command without trying to escape his presence. It was refreshing to not have to pretend, or put on hiers and graces. He could be the rough, demanding and powerfull man he was, without judgment. Which was more he could say for padme. And unlike padme you were far too meak and loyal to ever think of crossing him. You wont abandon him, you wont stab him in the back, you were a suitable alternative to padme, because you already accepted him the way he was.

It pleased him. You pleased him. And you will continue to please him as he sees fit.

Vader hovered by the door for a moment assessing the scene once more commiting it to memory. It was very rare he had to do a double take to actually belive his own eyes, but this was one of those rare occasions. And the fool whod dare touch his engineer was to shell shocked to remove his hands. It would seem he really did have to do everything around here. Oh well.

There was a beat of cruel anticipation, violence echoed silence in the room. And then you felt rather than heard a lightsaber rush across your back. You yelped out in surprise as heat engulfed your spine, uncomfortably hot like your skin was on the cusp of sun burn, yet not actually damaging you. There was a second scream accompanying yours. The fifth brother screeched an agonising blood curdling pained scream. And you felt something hit your back, the weight of the force was lifted instantly. You took a breath and jerked upright so fast you had to hold the table to stop yourself from falling over. You peered to your right only to stumble back a step as you saw what happened. And more importantly what had landed on you.

"Oh;oh god" you covered your mouth seeing the fifth brother panicking on the floor withering in pain holding up his arms to his face unable to belive what he was seeing. Your stomach turned as you saw the violent sight. Two cautorized stumps adorning each arm, a diagonal cut across each. And the hands that had tormented you were twitching on the floor loosing their colour, fading to a deathly blue.

"My lord you? His hands?" You whispered, trembling as you realised those hands had been what fell on to your back. Severed hands! Your chest tightened as your eyes roamed the sight of the whithering man before you. You vaguely heard the sound of lord vaders lightsaber retracting, but didnt react, far to focused on the sight before you.

With a slight yelp and jolt you pivoted as Vader approach you, closing the last few inches. But he did not allow you to move, one gloved hand pressing into your side keeping your back to him. You felt his fingers twitch as he held you stil.

He relished in the feel of finally touching you openly, cursing his suits thick gloves wanting to feel your supple flesh with his own skin. But he also enjoyed the intimidation his suit provided him. It was the only reason he wore it, the fear factor.

Your breath hitched as vaders hand dug into your side firmly easing you back into him. His huge frame shadowing yours, so close his cloak was falling around your own shoulders as his body skimmed yours.

"Hush little one." He ordered lightly. You peered over your shoulder flicking your gaze to him and then back to the floor holding your breath for a moment swallowing down your panic with a firm nod and released a slow breath, edging yourself away from an all out anxiety attack with practiced ease.

"Good girl. Always soo obedient, soo loyal. Youd never defy me would you?" You could hear the grin in his words, the pridful taunting thats prodded the others in a veiled threat. Vader moved his hands cross you, tucking one arm arcross your waist completely aligning your body with his. Making a show of holding you as close to him as possible.

You flushed keeping your eyes on his mask not wanting to be seen as rude. Though it was hard to maintain your gaze with your heart stuttering in your chest. You merely shook your head silently at his question. No, youd never defy him. Never, you looked up to him. So much so you felt it was him who should be emperor, after all it was vader who lead the troops, vader who fought and won the battles. It was vader who people feared and respected. He got his hands dirty and was actually fighting for something. Palpantine just seemed to make decrees and force others to do his bidding.

"Its a shame others dont follow suit. To think my own inquisitors sought to steal from me, right under my nose on my own ship" he continued speaking. Completely ignoring the other inquisitors as they still stood cowering on the far end of the table, making sure to keep their distance and avoid their lords anger. You didnt have time to fully register his words before he was speaking once more, berating his servant's whilst not giving them any of his actual attention both punishing and Insulting them.

"They believed i would allow them to sully you with no consequences. They feel that they are indispensable. Yet you have done more for me then all of them combined" you flushed absentmindedly shaking your head and tried to tuck into yourself and hide your face at the soft praise. You knew it was to rub salt into the wound, to embarrass them. These great force weilding soldiers were less usefull then a silly weak engineer that hadn't even finalised her training.

"I had thought i could trust them with you. That their so called loyalty to me would prevail over their jealousy. It seems i have over estimated them. They are not loyal, but frightened. They have no respect, just fear" vaders words were a harsh taunt, turning sinister and vicious with an air of mocking and dark sarcasm that he was known for throught out the fleet.

"And rightly so." You heard more fearful inhales from the others in the room,but you couldnt bring yourself to acknowledge them. You didnt dare disrespect your lord by disregarding his attention in favor of those who were so far below him.

"M-my lord i would have stopped, i was teasing Ugh-gagh!" Your head snapped up to the fifth brother as he stupidly opened his mouth and tried to defend his actions. You flintched as your lord moved, arm snapping out infront of you and the fith brother gurgled on his own words, choking.

"She is not yours to tease or torment" you watched in a horrified fascination as vaders hand fingers curled slightly. It looked like he was commanding a puppet, tugging invisible strings, choking the fifth brother slowly. Youd admit it was terrifying to behold, youd never seen this before and to be so close? You were conflicted. It was like watching a crash, you knew what was to come, you should look away but you couldnt. Something in you wanted to see it.

"Perhaps you should offer an apology? My little one is merciful. She is one for granting second, third and fourth chances" vader teased, enjoying dangling a bone infront of such an undeserving mutt. A thrill shot up your spine as you realised he was doing this for you baiting the dying man just to let you have a moment of retribution. Though being the cruel man he was vader made sure to tighten his grip. To cut off any sounds this squeeling little pig would try to make. And he did try to plead his case, eyes flicking to you begging for mercy.

You shivered pressing back into vader as the scene continued to unfold. Even when this man was dying you were afraid of him. And yet you weren't afraid of the sith lord commiting the act. Vader had to be provoked, you reasoned to yourself trying to fend off the uncomfortable thoughts trying to arise. After all vader had mentioned in passing about entering minds to gather information. You wonder if he could read your thoughts in real time.

"No? Well then" vaders dealthy teasing took an amused tone. He was enjoying this for a change. Especially when you released a soft half giggle under your breath at his dark sarcasm. It was irronically entertaining as your once powerful assailant made to grab his throat with two stumps. His eyes widened in true panic as he realised there was no way he could escape, he couldnt even claw at the grip tightening around his throat. You vaguely noticed that he was still firmly on the ground, which for some reason made you think it was somehow worse? It was one thing to be choked lifted from the floor, kicking your feet helplessly. But another sadistic torment to be choking on nothing whislt on the ground trying to clutch at your throat with no hands.

Vader hummed in approval at your minute glee, he always sensed a tiny dark spec on your pristine soul. You craved justice, to the point you enjoyed karma. You liked watching the odds get evened out. He even toyed with the possibility of that being why you were so loyal to him. That you looked to him as that balanceing force. The one to even the odds in the galaxy. It filled him with a delicious heat to think deep down you enjoy the way he was punishing your attacker. He felt righteous and godly as you relaxed into his hold watching the life slowly drain from someone who had made you beg and cry for mercy.

Your eyes locked onto the fifth brother as his body finally succumb to lord vader. He collapsed in a heap on the floor beside his hands. You arched back instinctively not wanting to touch the body.

"It is a pity. He was adequate in the force. Useful. But i will not ignore such an insult. Though while we are here let us make this a learning experience" his voice quivered with anticipation, not that his voice coder would give away his excitement.

You gasped, hands flying to the thick leather clad arm wrapped around you,clutching him as he moved you. Spinning around hoisting you off of the ground so he could keep you against him as he turned on the horrified inquisitors. It was when vader began speaking again you flush and willed yourself to dissappear, making yourself seem smaller against him. The others stared at you in a looks of shock, anxiety and disdain.

"This is mine. She belongs to me and me alone. And anyone who looks at her, let alone touches her without my permission will be..." vader explained making sure there was no mistake. He paused with a glance to the corpse before quipping his final amused remark.

"Decommissioned. Am i understood?" The hissed question snapped you back to reality and you began answering, only to catch yourself, covering your mouth with your hands when you realised he wanst actually talking to you. You felt rather then heard him huff a light chuckle against your back, the light humming was followed by a light squeeze against your tummy.

"Yes lord vader" the chorus of affirmation seemed to satisfy him and he placed, you back ont the floor, and took half a step back, yet still hovered closer then was needed.

"Good. If i were you I'd make sure to complete your asigned tasks before my return. Come along little one. We have much to discuss" and with that he turned on his heel and began exiting the room.

"Y-yes my lord" you squeaked quickly following him wanting to escape the inquisitors now hateful gaze.

You kept your head down, eyes fixed on the floor following the dark cape skimming the floor in front of you. You tried not to think of what had just happened. You didnt want to relive the ordeal or try to excuse any of it. You knew you'd overthink everything. Especially the way lord vader had held you so closely. The way he'd defended you so fiercely, how he'd not even just disposed of fifth brother, but mutilated him first with his lightsaber. Which he only ever ignited when truly angry or readying for battle.

Your heart jumped in your chest at that particular thought, if he was angered that meant he cared? Meant that you held some form of worth to him? Your stomach joy rushing through you. Youd admit to holding a fondness for your lord. Your admiration of of him had slowly grown into Something reminiscent of a school girl crush... only a very gaurded and respectful variation of a crush. Afterall he was your lord, a sith and the most unpredictable yet powerfull man in the galaxy. You had to be careful.

"You are unharmed?" The words spooked you as he finaly broke the silence and you looked around startled. So lost in your thoughts you hadnt paid much attention to your suroundings. Not that you needed to, everyone made way for lord vader in the halls, so you didnt need to be too aware when following him.

But had you been paying attention you might not have been so stunned when you realised you were in a huge living quarters. A sprawling expanse of black glistening tiles, black matte walls inlayed with glowing beams of light illuminating an array of practical dark furniture scattered pleasantly across the space. Frosted tinted glass acted as partition walls seperating various areas and a partiality concealed a bed room off to the far side of course the huge bed was also draped in a mix of black and maroon silk and velvet sheets.

The room was dwarfed by a window peaking out into the expanse of space, it stretched across the entire quarters in aligned sections. It reminded you of the one in the pilots control center, only this one was almost floor length. It took you a few moments to realise you may have just been lead into lord vaders private chambers.

"Y-yes my lord, thanks to you. I;" you uttered uncomfortably trying to bite down the slight panic at being brought here. Not that you thought he would kill you, it was just odd. Vader was above all unpredictable.

Glancing forward you frowned and took another slow step forward. He had disappeared, venturing deeper into the sprawling space whilst you appraised the decor. In your anxiety you began turning, trying see where vader had gone. Sensing your trepidation he called out to you, beckoning you to him.

"This way little one" you followed his voice only to pause stunned in to silence as your eyes laid on him. He had stepped away from the main open living area into a half concealed office. His back turned to you. But thats not what made you pause. No, it was when you saw his hands clasp his mask and free it from his head. A mane of wavy hair fell to his neck and he drew a deep breath as if thankfull to be free of the constricting head piece.

Your brain seemed to stutter, stalling as words died on your tongue and your mouth hand open for a moment. You never thought youd be privileged enough to see your lords true visage. It was a fantasy not even you had toyed with. Not even when you had been working on his hand, skimming the skin of his arm delicatly as you directed him to twist this way and that so you could concentrate on the connections.

He kept his back to you, slowly removing his gloves, one hand coming to his face obviously nipping the tip of a finger to remove a glove and then the second heavy leather joined its twin on the desk.

"Im pleased the inquisitors didnt cause any damage. It seems i should have kept a closer eye on you. Your far too delicate to let roam. The others think they are safe, belive me when i tell you they are not. They will pay their penance in time" you shuddered greedily lapping up his honeyed tone. Why was his soft voice more menacing then the deep voice recorder and harsh breaths?

It was unsettling, the way you could have been lulled easily from the gentle yet authoritative tone. His demand for respect was so ingrained into him you couldnt help but listen as he spoke. Though at the threat lacing his words you faltered slightly, you did feel somewhat responsible for the incident.

"It was my fault my lord. I had gone looking for you to deliver the new security codeing. You said once i finished to find you and i should have known not to approach the meeting room when the inquisitors;" you tried to argue, though you were unsure why you felt as if everything was your fault. Afterall you couldnt control the inquisitors, and they didnt exactly deserve your mercy after standing by and letting that wretch almost have his way with you for no other reason then jealousy.

"Do not try to make excuses for their deceite. You are above such foolishness" the order was harsh and swift stopping your explanation in its tracks as you tried to take the blame. The ire in his tone and way he flicked off his cloak violently made you bite your lip remaining silent. You peaked up at him hearing him cross the space.

My god. He was a devil. A frightening handsome devil. His face had softer features then you thought. Beautiful and cherub like. Yet there was a sinister undertone to him, a powerful gaze. Yellow eyes, they were haunting in a way, so unique but only enhanced the dark beauty he possesed.

He paused before you, drawing a deep breath tilting his face and concentrated on you. His yellow gaze penetrated you. You could almost feel him burrowing into you, as if he was searching your soul for something. Trying to unravel you and collect your secrets. What ever he found must have pleased him. His face split into a grin and his hands raised, one cupping either side of your face making you look at him. You didnt flinch, you didnt ever gasp as his cool bionic palm cupped your cheek. All you could do was blink up at him owlishly, unsure what he expected from you. But even through your shock you did take comfort in his happiness, feeling yourself smile back up at him.

"You are indispensable to me, you will be moved here where i can keep a close watch over you." His words were alight with a strange glee. You gasped when he tipped his own head to yours his nose skimming yours. You felt slightly uncomfortable, he seemed off? Not that you claimed to know him, because in all honesty you knew very little. He'd allowed you to uncover small details in your time spent together. But you couldnt help feel he was acting out of character. Your interaction felt foreboding, like there was something just around the corner that he was slowly leading up to. That he had a plan for you that could be something wonderful, or incredibly unsettling.

"From now on you are to be by my side at all times outside of these quarters and you workshop. I trust nothing and no one with you. This incident will not repeat itself because you strayed from me. Am i understood." The order came with its own slight chastisement. A light warning laced in the vaguely possesive words.

"Of course my lord" you didnt hesitate. He grinned, eyes darkening with a pridful victory. It was only in this moment, this final test where he truley revealed himself to you that he had realised his true victory. Your obedience to him was second nature, he'd cultivated it. Made sure his authority over you was absolute. That his dominion over you was indisputable, whether he was in his feared suit or out of it. Youd agree to anything he suggested, and youd do it of your own accord with no need for threats or violence.

He chuckled lightly befor dragging your head down and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. The action stole your breath and before you could even wonder over the unprompted affection he had stepped back releasing you completely from his hold and turned motioning for you to take a seat in the communal living area.

"You are not disagreeing. Such a good girl. My good girl. You can see i do not have the patience for such frivolous games today" his giddy words were thrown over his shoulder whilst he rounded one of the sofas and then he sat heavily, releasing a sigh as he took the weight off of his feet. You followed him, somewhat in a daze, growing more confused by the second. But dutifully followed him and sat on the spot he patted next to him. Obeying the unspoken demand to sit as close to him as possible.

"I am pleased that the circulating gossip has not hindered your resolve or frightened you off" he continued the conversation as if it were nothing substantial. Like he hadnt just thrown you for a loop and shook you to your core with unwarranted, yet not unwelcome affecton.

"Yo-You heard those?" You stuttered trying not to falter as you held the conversation, you didnt want to disappoint him now. Especially when he was behaving so unpredictably. Youd seen his face, you were a loose end now, you knew some of his best kept secrets. It was humbling and exciting, but even in your excitement you understood the danger you could have stumbled into.

"Indeed. Though i did not confirm or deny such things, i belived if others thought you were mine it may offer you some form of extra protection when my back was turned. I was mistaken" he shifted plcing an arm around your shoulder and pulled you to him. He didnt seem to want to let you go, literally. He'd never shown this type of affection to you before today, youd never had any inclination that he was one to seek out this kind of touching. But he couldnt seem to help it, and he didnt seem to be stopping anytime soon. You flushed as a tiny voice in the back of your mind could barely contain her shy approval. You certainly didnt mind him holding you.

"My lord i; i didnt. I never told anyone that we were? Involved or or anything. I didnt mention what i was summoned for. It was no ones business. I did deny all rumours- or at least tried;" you tried to explain, fearful that he thought you wer e trying to climb rank useing his authority. You sat up, pulling away from him as you spoke wanting to make eye contact with him so he could see the truth in your eyes. But something engulfed you. A pressure pinning you to his side, firmly encouraging you to lean on his chest and tuck your head below his. You whined realising he was useing the force to position you. Your whimpers were quietened down by him hushingyou, his hand rubbing your arm soothingly. It was when you stopped fighting that the pressure left your body.

"I am well aware you had nothing to do with the gossip. Unfortunately such things happen on board all vessels. There is nothing we can do to quell them. Even if i had wanted to." He hummed, his hand rising from your shoulder to twist a lock of your hair and tuck it behind your ear.

"You look shocked." He stated with a deep chuckle, amused by your stunned silence. But continued to distract himself with your hair, knuckles grazing your neck whilst his fingers twisted the soft locks.

"I, yes, well... did you not want to stop the rumours? i dont understand" you mnaged to whisper quietly, stumbling over your words trying to make atleast one coherent sentence and not look a fool.

"Understand? what is there to understand? I am not blind. You are an attractive young woman. You have a brilliant mind and submissive personality as well as being loyal, true loyaltyis a rare find in the empire. I am not adverse to the idea of keeping you for myself." He uttered casually, treating the topic like something as mundane as the weather. It almost became a monologue, him listing his feelings methodically, speaking them aloud like he'd only just rationalised them.

"Infact i thought i made a compelling argument with the inquisitors. I do hope there is no confusion on your part" your stomach dropped , reality settling like a rock in your chest. You couldnt help feeling there was still more to this. A sinister undertone had crawled into his final words. But you couldnt discern if he ws actually threatening you, or is he was genuinely asking you if he had made himself clear.

"Well i? Yes? No? I; im sorry but i dont completely understand? When you say keep me to yourself? Do you mean as an underling?" Your resolve quivered when he threw his head back and bellowed a laugh, one hand dropping to his stomach as he did so.

"Oh sweet angel, you truly are a naive little thing arent you?" He teased lightly through his amusement shaking his head to rid himself of the remaining laugher threatening to escape him. You shrunk face glowing a bright red, unsure if he'd just complimented or insulted you. He felt your embarrassed pout and glanced down at you tipping your head up to face him smirking down at you with mischief.

"But to answer your question, under or on top. It makes no difference as long as i am your only partner, a will not share, you are mine to fuck and fill." Your jaw dropped. No. What? No he couldnt have meant? Surely not! He chuckled again sending you a devilsh look, soaking up the innocent shock and riseing flush on your face. He enjoyed your reaction to his vulgarity, he noted the way you tremble, your thighs tensing. He was tempted to brush overthem and drawmmore sweet breaths from you, let you taste what was to come. But he also knew he needed to make himself clear first. Youd probably have a heart attack if he didnt allow you time to register your new-found role.

"Speechless? Fear not there will be plenty of time for us to explore such things now that you will reside here along side me" he soothed pressing the two fingers to your chin, closing your mouth which only furthered you embarrassment. And he wasnt finished, it seemed he very much enjoyed making you squirm and continued.

"Rest assured I have no intentions on rushing you little one. Though your new uniform will be here by morning and i will make it known that there is a lady Vader on board. Should anyone be confused i will enlighten them personally" you didnt pay mind to the mention of new uniform, no. Instead the title of lady vader echoed in your head like a mantra, you were so stunned by it you almost missed the blatant threat of violence that followed.

"Wha- wait? You really mean to? You wish to be with me intimately?" Your voice cracked, making you clear your throat whislt trying to collect your thoughts that were running wild. The images of you and him tangled in the huge bed youd spied earlier were almost too much for you to bare. You tensed your legs trying not to think about having such a powerfull man ravage you, how he could possibly use his immense power to his advantage in the bedroom.

"It has been my plan yes. You captured my attention, my intrest. And have not disappointed me like so many others. slowly my feelings have morphed into affection, need. A desire for companionship. Something i have not felt for a very long time. I will not waste this opportunity, we will wed soon enough" with that he had finally revealed his intentions. You drew a deep breath trying to keep the air in your lungs and not squeak pitifully like a cornered mouse. You knew it, you were right, he did infact have a masterplan for you.

At your panicked silence vader grew defensive. His aura thickened and the room seemed to darken and cool as the seconds ticked by. He curled his fingers pinching your chin firmly drawing your attention back to him.

"I decided you will remain by my side. And i warn you now, whether you are inclined to agree with me is irrelevant. The decision was made long ago little one" his words grew icey, eyes sharpening to dreadfully observant daggers. You swallowed, nodding to him feeling a fright you hadnt felt since your first few encounters with the sith.

"I understand my lord. So i will stay here? And shadow you?" You agreed trying tp placate him and calm whatever frustration was building in him. You had no objections. Youd do as he asked gladly, you were just blindsided and surprised. If only you had the courage to admit that and voice your feelings.

Whatever darkness washed over him faded quickly and his face relaxed from an eerily calm anger, to a soft contented smile. Your quick compliance and following curiosity seemed to have quelled whatever darkness had arisen inside of him.

"Yes. We will spend a majority of our time together, either here on my fleet or my home on mustafa." You nodded slowly taking it in. The reality, this was happening. He had planned your life, planned your relationship, and the way he was so self assured in his ideas for your future showed that he had thought this through, played with the idea long enough to work around any issues tht might arise. Youd also made sure not to flinch at the mention of that terrifying planet. It was somewhere you'd never want to visit, but you doubt you'd get a choice in the matter.

"And my work? I mean will i still...after we are? wed?" You inquired wanting to pull the conversation away from mustafa. But also clarify exactly what your lord had instore for you. His face lit up, youd pleased him by insinuating your upcoming nuptials. Quietly accepting the future he had planned.

"I would never impede your personal growth. You are free to keep your workshop. And i will give you tasks to keep you occupied when i am away on business" you closed your eyes in relief. He may have sprung this on you and expect you to obey him without complaint. But atleast he wasnt going to lock you up and let you suffer bordem. Youd have some freedom.

"Thank you my lord, your words mean alot to me. I fear what would happen if i was left with nothing to do" you quickly voiced your appreciation. Still hesitant but compliant, your lord had made up his mind, and you were not going to tempt fate by arguing. You were however going to try and explain yourself. The last thing you wanted was for him to doubt your loyalty and obedience.

"A-and just? For what it is worth I... i am inclined to persue this relationship my lord. I was just shocked earlier, i meant no disrespect. I didnt mean to anger you. I am sorry if i upset you"

"Apology accepted" he hummed dragging you to lie on his chest once more. This time his arms coiling around you protectively. You melted into him. Despite having the beejeezus scared out of you moments ago you couldnt help but give into him. This had been what youd fantasised about hadnt it? Being held by your lord? Having him trust you, showing you affection and being special to him. Although you admit this was much better then your late night guilty pleasures. Not only was he holding you so sweetly, he had trusted you enough to let you see what lies beneath his mask. As ridiculous as it sounded, you couldnt help feeling that you could be happy with him, despite how intimidating he could be.

Still you couldnt help but want to make things right. To reassure him and smooth over any lingering unpleasant thoughts he may have over your silence earlier.

"It just caught me unawares. I admire you and was surprised by your words. I can admit to harbouring a crush on you. Even before today, but i never thought that..." you trailed off slowly conveying your thoughts wordlessly, trying your best to find a solace. A stability in the new situation you found yourelf in. His quick temper had shaken you, youd never had such a misstep with him before. And you didnt want to repeat it.

"Then that just makes for a happy ending doesnt it little one. Come we will eat and then rest. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day" he rose from the sofa taking your hand pulling you along side him gently.

"But in the end it will be worth it for you to watch the colour drain from my inquisitors faces when they see you take your place beside me" he lamented with a twisted grin thinking about the fun he was going to have tormenting those pathetic mutts.

You couldnt help a jolt of excitement race through you at the thought. It would be nice seeing their smug hatred become terror when your new position was anounced. Hell it would be nice to be beside lord vader, even if your future was completely dictated by him. You really would do anything for him, it was a sobering thought, but not unpleasant. How many people can say their fantasies became reality? But then again its said that when the gods truley wish to punish us they make our dreams come true. Only time will tell if this was your fairytale or your punishment.

#oh for fic sake fics #anakin x reader #star wars anakin #dark!anakin #darth vader x reader #darth vader x you #anakin x fem reader #yandere anakin skywalker #yandere anakin x you #suitless vader #darth vader imagine #anakin skywalker imagine

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bartxnhood · 1 year

Text

second chance | c.b

colby brock x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been bottling up your emotions for too long, when colby finally returns from an investigation you blow up. he begs for a second chance.

warnings: angst, mild language, argument.

a/n: back with another colby blurb bc i literally cant get him out of my mind lol. this was kinda inspired by a song so i will link it below and you can listen while you read if you want !! enjoy ! feedback is appreciated.

requests open

not proofread

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you frantically began throwing random items of clothing into your bag, rummaging through drawers, your shared closet, and the bathroom. getting what you needed for a few days away.

you were so tired of being alone. katrina was visiting her family, and sam and colby were on their filming trip which left you alone at the house. of course, you could just go home but you didn’t have the money for a flight at the moment and you were too keen on the idea of driving across the state alone.

so you just decided to stay back at the house.

but you were finally at your breaking point. colby was coming home today, but you just had enough. you needed a breather and the only way you’d get that is getting out and away.

you heard commotion downstairs and you took that as he and sam were home. “babe! i’m home!” colby announced coming upstairs, but when he opened the bedroom door he didn’t expect the scene in front of him.

colby asked, “where are you going?” as he dropped his bags to the floor. “staying with a friend” you answered, zipping up your bags and throwing them over your shoulder. you made a b-line for the door but, colby stopped you. “why?” you looked ahead, not wanting to face him.

he knew you were mad, he couldn’t understand why you were though. colby didn’t know about your loneliest nights, the ones you’d scream and cry yourself to sleep because of his lack of attention and time differences. he didn’t know how much you were suffering while he was out having fun recording his videos. you never told him.

“i just need to get out, colby.” you never called him that, it was always ‘colbs’ or ‘hun’. he pulled you back, you finally looked at him. “what’s wrong? talk to me” “nothing's wrong! im fine!” you weren’t. you wanted to punch him and call him stupid for not seeing your pain. colby sighed, “then why are you leaving?” finally, you snapped.

“because i’m tired!” you dropped your bags, your chest burning with anger. “i’m so tired of being left here alone for weeks, sometimes months while you’re gone. i know you’ve offered to let me join but you know i hate that stuff, colby.” it all came pouring out. “i’m so tired of waiting for you” you began punching and pushing his chest, the damn opened and tears flowed down your face. “i’m. so. tired!” his arms held you tightly but you fought back, and you cried, “don’t!” colby’s eyes were starting to tear up. “i wake up every fucking day reaching for you but you’re not here.”

“y/n..i..” he was at a loss for words, running a hand through his hair. “please just don’t leave, let’s talk this out, please.” he reached for your hand, pulling you closer his other hand held your chin up. “what can i do?” you blinked away tears blurring your vision, “i..” you fell silent, unable to think straight. colby added, “use your words.”

“just please don’t be so distant. i miss us, i miss you. i miss everything, and i just can’t be alone anymore.” colby nodded, “okay. i won’t leave. i promise” he wrapped his arms around your neck holding you closer than ever.

it had been a few hours since the fight, and now the two of you sat by the fire outside sharing a blanket. “im sorry for what i said and how i handled it. i was just so frustrated”

he hummed, “don’t apologize, im glad you told me. i think i needed to hear it” colby kidded your temple. “just promise me one thing, don’t shut me out. please” the pad of his thumb caressed your cheek. “i’ll be better too, i’ll stay home more often, kay?” you nodded, smiling. “i love you, colbs” he pecked your lips once more, “i love you too, y/n/n. i promise i’ll never act like that again. i’m sorry i put you through so much pain.”

#colby brock x you #colby brock x y/n #colby brock angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #colby brock x reader #colby brock fanfic #colby brock imagine #colby brock #colby x reader #Spotify

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puppyjune · 10 months

Text

kill her. kill her. kill her.

she looks so beautiful. the bruises. the tears.

but the blood. the blood is holy. divine; the original temptation. once i see scarlet spread across her skin, i can barely stop. the lust, the drive, the carnal desire for brutality.

eyes starting to glaze over, i finally lessen my grip on her neck. so close, edging myself with her life. can i really hold myself back? what if i dont stop?

theres always next time.

why must i be so angry? its all ive known. walking into existence brings me these feelings. part of me wants to grow, but the comfort of that angry impassionate shell is so tempting. i try to step out, brave the new world of emotion. it backfires. over and over, all i know is negativity. oh, but how satisfying that rage is. grab that bat, lay her down whether she wants it or not.

…that may not be "kind", or "empathetic". but what else do i know? its just so easy to do. shes practically begging for it, im actually being nice by abusing her; right?

no no no, i get told that isnt the right way. but if so, why does it feel so good? is this the forbidden fruit? let me bite into her skin and learn what true sin is, carve it into her so she can be enlightened. oh, to be cut. the beauty of those lines, they make shiver with delight.

ah. empathy. that thing. do i really need it? i do? thats fucked. well, lets try a different approach.

brushing away some hair, i kiss her forehead and pull her close. the weight of her head on my body, the way she smiles, it just warms my heart. maybe i can understand what it means to be kind and empathetic. but why does she look at me that way? i must be imagining it. she couldnt possibly want… that. i blush, thinking of how close i came last time; shes probably thinking im blushing from her beauty right now. but all i can think of is the image of her choking herself for my pleasure. the knife on her skin.

i cant stop myself, i need that. violence, god does it make me feel fulfilled. its my one true passion, my vice, the thing that keeps my heart beating and my lust fueled. and why shouldnt i indulge? shes asking for it. obviously. cmon, that was totally what she was thinking, i dont need to ask. its more fun if i dont ask her.

ah, here again. layed out before me, a canvas to play with. i start sweet, checking in after every hit, watching where i hit and how hard, making sure to kiss her marked body.

hit, hit, hit. i look into her eyes, shes starting to squirm, maybe the pain is a bit much? i start to think about asking her if i should tone it down, or maybe just tone it down without asking, play it safe.

oh fuck, shes starting to squirm. this is what i need, the nectar ive been craving. i cant stop myself, i cant hold back. keeping her pinned down, swing after swing of that whip crashes down. my vision blurs, i feel such immense lust i cant think of anything else. how many hits until she fights back, until i have an excuse to really raise the stakes? oh please little pet, try and fight me. i need you to, then i cant be blamed for what happens next. but i get stopped. some part of me pulls me back, telling me to slow down. she gets to live a little longer.

i cant just stop now, i need to get these feelings out. "turn over. now."

good, now i have a fresh canvas to once again paint with pain. over and over, i whip her. its just, not good enough. i already did this, im over it, the rush is gone. i need to kill.

looking over, i see my bat. or specifically, a kendo sword. those bound strips of wood, that slight bend, just adds such a wonderful sprinkle on top of the pain from the swing. shes still down, dazed from the whip.

hit. hit. hit. kill. break her legs. she cant run. she cant resist. one swift hit to the head, bash her face with the bat, then there will be no resistance.

oh, ive done it again. i nearly couldnt stop myself. here i am, having mounted her, bat pressed against her neck, my entire weight and strength being offered for her demise. i need it, i need her to die. i need to kill. the marks on her legs shine against her pale skin. i made sure each leg had a good enough mark to make it difficult to walk, impossible to run. along with every. other. bruise. god, does she look beautiful. i feel true pleasure fill my heart as i look into her eyes. those divine eyes. tears silently rolling down her reddened face, the look of pain only brought by my abuse, the way you can see just how close she came to death. those dull eyes, barely able to comprehend what they see. if i could only have one wish, it would be to watch the life drain from peoples eyes as i use them for my pleasure.

#my writing #ive never written anything before. thought id try some stream of conciousness stuff for fun. enjoy??? hope u do #🖤

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iravinirattu · 10 months

Text

ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real

since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️

al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.

and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??

"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh

"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"

mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.

"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"

i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"

like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!

but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.

like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.

but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.

and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.

"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."

"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."

"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."

al haitham taught me two new words today lol

irascible - someone with a quick temper

paragon - something viewed as a standard

"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."

kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.

"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."

al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.

al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.

"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"

and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.

how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably

al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.

"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."

and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on

we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.

and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO

but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.

haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.

#haikaveh #al haitham #kaveh #kavetham #genshin impact #alhaitham x kaveh #⥽ • chaos and chasms #try denying the allegations now bitches (affectionate)#i shld be al haithams translator fr

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foli-vora · 1 year

Note

Female reader. Steven grant. Prompts: 21, 26, 75.

In my mind is something like reader having to protect sweet Steven, so she breaks up with him and he’s destroyed and begs her to not leave him or something but ends up telling her he hates her after the whole break up scene, and she leaves.

Break my heart with this please. I want to feel stevens sadness and readers heart breaking knowing it’s what she has to do.

CONGRATS ON 3K MY LOVE!!! PRECIOUS FOLI IM SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT IVE BEEN HERE FOR LONG RIDE!! It’s an absolute honor to read you.

my sweet love, i am so honoured you've been here for the long haul and i appreciate you so much! thank you for your request, i had so much fun breaking sweet boi's heart! i hope this is painful enough for you x

tear into my heart

steven grant x f!reader

word count: 2359 warnings: angst. so much angst. mention of the avengers/other marvel characters, brief mention of S.H.I.E.L.D & HYDRA, mentions of danger, mentions of death/dying, lies, a fake affair, break up, brief violence (throwing a plate)

Dread.

It fills you. It runs through your veins, churns restlessly in your gut and fills your throat until it feels impossible to inhale. Panic begins to build, with sweat stinging at your skin and bringing a wave of fog over your mind.

How had things gotten so out of hand? You’d thought for sure the situation would be contained, would be dealt with so easily. It was looking fine, everything had gone well and it was meant to just be over. Done with. Finished. You should’ve known it was never that simple.

Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.

How did you get here? Maybe you could explain, maybe you could keep him safe, maybe it didn’t have to be this way—

Bucky sighs, the crackled whisper of it falling into your ear from your phone and you bite down on your lip to stem the bitter feel of tears.

“I’m sorry, doll. I wish there was another way.”

You swallow around the sudden dryness in your throat, picking at the blanket beneath you. The blanket you often shared with him.

The blanket he’d draped around your shoulders when you had a cold, the blanket you tucked around him when he fell asleep reading on the couch… so many memories with just a bit of fabric. You dare not look around to see the other trinkets and memories lingering in his flat.

“Am I doing the right thing, Buck? I don’t want to hurt him, surely I—we—can protect him—”

“I wish I could say we could, but the reality is I just don’t know. Do you want to risk it?”

Could you risk it by staying? Risk him?

“No,” you reply softly, knowing you’d rather suffer the pain of not being with him rather than the pain of potentially burying him. You needed him safe. You needed to know he was safe.

“Maybe once this is over, you could sit him down and explain everything. He might understand?”

Would he? Would you even get that far? While confident in your skills and abilities, there was always a chance of not walking away, and you might never have the chance to fix anything. Death has never frightened you — the possibility simply came with the job and you had long made peace with that, but now?

A trickle of fear buds in the centre of your chest. Could you die knowing you had left him heartbroken? Could you die knowing you didn’t utter a final ‘I love you’? Would he even know you died?

As far as he knew, you worked in an office. A simple job, with occasional travel included.

You hated lying, but it just seemed a lot easier than coming out with the whole 'Oh, well I worked as an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D before that went up in literal flames and I’m now actually stationed in London and employed by the Avengers on the recommendation of Agent Barton'.

Steven was nervous enough in the beginning, you didn’t need another reason to scare him away with that whole backstory.

“Yeah… maybe,” you mutter, desperately blinking the shine of tears overtaking your vision. “Okay. I’ll be an hour or so, I don’t want to just leave him a note—I want to do it properly.”

“We’ll be here, doll.”

Knowing you didn’t have long until Steven got home, you pass some time by shoving clothes into a bag and clearing your things from the bathroom, trying to not focus on the way his toothbrush now sits alone in the cup. You can barely look at your reflection in the mirror.

Emotion claws at your throat when you empty your side drawer and pluck the single polaroid from its depths. You hold it between two fingers, studying the way he looks so damn handsome in his glasses and fully focused on the little book in his hands, completely oblivious to you taking a photo.

“I love you,” you whisper, trailing your fingertips over its shiny surface before slipping it carefully into the front pocket of your bag, unwilling to part from it should he not want to see you once you were finished with the mission.

At least he’d be safe.

“Take care of him, Gus,” you murmur to the glass, watching the orange fish swim his usual paths through his tank.

The door opens, drawing your attention away from the little animal, and in shuffles Steven, rustling with a plastic shopping bag and a tired smile that considerably brightens when his eyes find you. Your heart quickens in your chest, his presence never failing to send your system into a tizzy.

He’s too good for this, too good for you.

“Hiya, love. Gods, you would not believe the day I’ve had—”

Off he goes.

You love his ramblings. You love how he would use his hands so much as he talks, how expressive he would get and how he was oblivious to anything happening around him. He would talk and talk and talk, and you would soak it all up, hanging on every word falling from his lips.

Just for a moment, you enjoy the normality of it; the calm before the storm, the peace before the pain. He’d stop soon, realising he hadn’t yet given you a kiss, so you straighten before he can do so, knowing if you were to feel that simple, tender press of his lips you wouldn’t have the strength to walk out the door.

“Steven?”

The word gets trapped in your throat.

“—and then some kid knocked the stuffed scarabs over so that was a little disaster in itself coz you know what Donna’s like. Oh! There’s that new David Attenborough doco on the telly tonight so I thought we could watch that and order in some tea, maybe have a little b—”

“Steven,” you repeat louder, firmer, “we need to talk.”

Immediately, he stops. His eyes fly to you and you fight to weaken at the softness swimming in them. This is for him, you remind yourself. It’s all for him. He’d be killed if they knew.

“I thought we already were, though it was a bit hard for you to get a word in what with me going on,” he gives a chuckle, but your face remains indifferent to it. His eyes flick over your face, taking in your cool, stiffly set features and his smile falters. “You ‘right, love?”

Here we go. I’m so sorry.

“No. I’m leaving.”

He blinks, “You what?”

“I’m leaving. This is over.”

“Over?” Confusion twists his brows, his face pinching as the words ring through his ears. “What do you mean ‘over’?”

“I mean this—” you gesture between him and yourself, “—is over. What we have? It’s done. I’m done, Steven. I’m leaving.”

“What? No, you—you can’t. We—” he runs a flustered hand through his curls, his chest jumping with his sharp inhale, “everything’s great. It’s great. Wh… I don’t understand. I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur before you can stop the words from falling, forcing yourself to swallow the feel of your heart beating in your throat.

“Is it the sleep thing? Love, I-I’m sorry, I can… I can figure something out! I’ll tie myself to the bloody bed if I have to!” He smiles, laughs, but it’s all nerves, panic.

So many nights you’d woken to him up and moving about. The first time it happened, it was almost as if he didn’t recognise you, like he was so lost to dreams that he wasn’t truly there and was startled at your presence. It happened frequently, almost every night, and with the more you began to stay over, the more it became a routine.

You’d coax him into bed, wrap him in the quilt and kiss his cheek with a loud smack, expecting his dorky little chuckle or an adoring little comment, but instead you were met with stares that didn’t seem quite so familiar. He looked like Steven, smelt like Steven, but the eyes… there was something there.

“No Steven, it’s not the sleep thing.”

“Is—is it me?” He asks shakily, faltering on a step forward and bringing his hands together anxiously, his fingers turning and twisting around the others. “I know I can be a bit much, love, but I-I can change… I’ll do anything for you, anything—”

It pierces right through your chest, impaling your heart and tearing it in half. How could he think that? He’s lovely. So, so lovely. You’ve never met anyone like Steven. He’s beautiful. He’s smart. He’s kind and warm and so damn sweet—

“It’s not you, please believe me when I say that.”

No, it’s not you, precious boy. I’m so sorry.

His hands begin to tremble.

There’s nothing more to say. It’s done. You let your gaze fall away from him, taking a quick second to gather yourself and keep your posture straight, ensuring to swallow down the pressure in your throat before it could morph into tears.

He moves when you do, watches you pick up the readied bag he had passed coming in, and he steps in front of the door, holding a hand out in an effort to keep you still.

“Love, please—”

“I’m going, Steven.”

He doesn’t move. He stands there in your way, hands shaking by his sides, his lips pressing tightly together to keep the noticeable wobble at bay.

“Please let me do this,” you mutter, the dull sting pricking the back of your eyes. Get out now.

“You can’t leave, love. You can’t, we—you’re my everything. Please—please, just—we can fix this. Whatever it is, we can fix it!”

He won’t let go.

Gods, Steven, please let go.

The thought of this all blowing out of control and someone finding him… the thought of it makes you physically ill. Your mind rejects the images of him hurt, beaten, laying bleeding and broken on the floor, his eyes empty and staring vacantly into nothing.

Bile builds in your throat. You have to protect him, you have to keep him safe.

There’s a way to make him let go, but it’s fucking brutal, and you’re almost certain there’s no coming back from it. But it’s okay. If he’s safe, it will be okay. It’s for him.

A bubble of self loathing builds in your gut. Please forgive me.

The words make you sick.

“There’s someone else.”

The moment holds after your spoken words, the air in the flat turning harder somehow. His heart shatters. You can see it play across his face. First the confusion, your words not quite sinking in. Someone else? No. No, you would never. The denial—you wouldn’t do that… no, you love him, don’t you? The pain. It pierces right through to the very core of you.

You bite down hard on your tongue. There’s so much you want to say. You want to cry, you want to apologise, you want to cradle him and tell him there’s no one else, there could never be anyone else… but you stand firm, watching the daunting understanding leak into his features.

His shoulders drop, and those tortured eyes meet yours.

“Oh. What’s their name?”

Your training kicks in.

“James.”

“James,” he repeats quietly, his throat bobbing with a swallow. “How long?”

“Steven—”

“How long?”

“A few months,” you lie through your teeth.

Lying had always been somewhat of a second nature to you, but here? Now? The words burn your mouth. The lies feel acidic on your tongue. It burns to the point you think you can’t utter another word.

“All that time?” He whispers in surprise, his voice cracking.

His lips press firmly together but the action doesn’t stem the tears that build along his lash line. The barrier breaks and they eventually spill, falling from his eyes and painting his cheeks with trails of heartbreak.

“Does… does he know about me?”

You don’t answer, but he seems to draw a conclusion from the look on your face. He gives a barely there broken chuckle, forced through shaking lips.

“Bet you both had a right laugh,” he mutters scornfully, “while your stupid little boyfriend waited in his stupid little flat.”

Your face creases, “Steven—”

“I hate you,” he mumbles, eyes dropping to the floor as more tears stream down his face. “Gods I love you, but I fucking hate you right now.”

And with those final words, he crumbles.

His devastation is palpable, and your heart shatters alongside him.

He wraps his arms around himself, unable to raise his eyes enough to meet yours as he shuffles out of your way, freeing your exit and allowing you to leave. A warm tear slips down your cheek as you listen to the sounds of agony falling from his throat, spreading over your skin when your fingers rise to brush it away.

Every step towards the door is a struggle.

You want nothing more than to turn around, to stay. The door knob is ice cold under your fingers, mirroring the feeling of grief spreading out from your gut. His cries echo around you, burning into your mind with each broken inhale and heavy exhale.

The soul shattering sobs stop, and the startling finality of it is enough to have you pausing where you pull the door open. His curled shoulders stiffen and his body hardens, almost as if he just snapped right out of his heartbreak.

He half turns, his dark, wild gaze locking onto you from beneath the mop of curls falling over his eyes and you’re frozen from the bitter hostility filling them. The rage, the hatred.

It’s not the stare you’re used to meeting at night. This is different.

The air changes, thickens.

He’s different.

“Steven?”

“Get out,” he rasps, voice taking on a deeper, angrier husk and it’s not him—it’s not your Steven, “now.”

“What—”

“Leave!”

His hand swipes a plate from the table, sending it flying across the room before it shatters into pieces against the wall and you swallow a sob, quickly resuming your exit and aching at the sounds of further destruction that echo down the hall once the door slams shut.

moon bois tags: @acourtofsnakes, @greeneyedblondie44, @hope-for-the-best-98, @fangirl-316, @itswanktime, @stevenmylove, @ruhro7, @juletheghoul, @you-got-me-starry-eyed, @asgardiandeadpoetsociety, @excitedcurtain864, @chickencouncilrep, @bluestuesday, @katronautt, @what-iwish-you-knew, @totallynotastanacc, @bangaveragewhitewine, @chaoticevilbakugo, @trickstersp8, @rominaszh, @gooddaykate, @midgardianminx, @mishasminion360, @detectivecarisi-1, @quicksilvermad, @raphaelaisabella, @iceclaw101, @thatpinkshirt, @breakfastonpluto19, @withakindheartx, @sirpascal, @littleone65, @xoxabs88xox, @timpletance, @jitterbugs927, @randomchick546, @xdaddysprincessxx, @dnxgma, @astronomeoww, @dindjarinswhore, @Curiouser-an-curiouser, @h-hxgirl, @mischiefnevermanaged94, @mando-amando, @mx-ferelden, @xxvariant, @welcometostayingawake, @trinkets01, @shadowolf993, @mwltwo, @loveslide, @lccs-world, @artsymaddie

#foli's 3k #steven grant x reader #steven grant x f!reader #steven grant x you #steven grant #moon knight fanfiction #steven grant imagine

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sunrisemill · 2 months

Text

✮From the start✮ Pt.4

Chris and y/n have always been inseparable, they’ve always relied on each other but what happens when one of them falls?

(Warnings: mentions of mental health such as Anxiety and possibly depression. Please take care of yourself, I love you 🤍)

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Finale

Y/ns’ POV

(Present)

I feel a wave of anxiety crash down on me as he stares at me from across the dining table. How in the hell am I supposed to do this? I feel the tension rise within seconds as I remain silent, I just wish I could see what he's thinking. The look he has on his face is unreadable and stern. God, I've fucked everything up. I continue to tell myself that until I hear him clear his throat. “Well…are you going to say something?” Right, with my emotions at an all-time high, I completely forgot how much time had passed. “I'm so sorry, Chris,” I whisper before taking in a deep shaky breath. “It was wrong to treat you like that and it's okay if you don't forgive me, I understand. But I couldn't go on until I gave you an apology.” I watch him carefully as he processes my words. Please forgive me, please Chris. He nods his head before leaning back in his chair. “I'm sorry too. But could you just tell me what's wrong? You continue to shut me out and that's not healthy Y/n, you can't just bottle everything up and expect it to be okay.” He sits up straight and leans forward again, propping his elbows on the table as he reaches his hand out to gently hold my hand in his. His touch sends shockwaves throughout my body. “Just talk to me. I'm here.” My chest tightens as I stare down at our hands which are interlocked. I can feel his eyes bore into my head as the air grows thicker. I can’t tell him, he's gonna think I'm being dramatic or I'm just being silly. Oh my god, he's gonna think that something is wrong with me, or that I'm too much for him to handle and he's just going to leave me. “Y/n?” The concern in Chris’ voice when he notices how my breathing has picked up causes me to spiral into a deeper panic. I lift my head to look at him but my vision is blurred by tears. Chris’ face drops when he sees me in such a distressed state. “Y/n, please talk to me.” The slight squeeze he gives my hand pushes me over the edge. I can't do this. I need to leave. Right. Now. I tell myself as I quickly drop his hand and shoot up out of my chair, the speed of my action causes the chair to fall back, but I don't care. The only thing I care about is getting out of that damn house. The sound of Chris calling after me is cancelled out as the sound of my heartbeat in my ears drowns it out.

~~~~

Chris’ POV

I feel as though everything just blew up within a few minutes. I shouldn't have done that, I pushed her too far now. I can't believe I had her back and now im watching her run out of my house because of my idiotic actions. “Y/n!” I shout out to her but she doesn't stop…shit. I quickly stand up to chase after her but get stopped by a tug on my arm, my head snaps to look at whatever has tugged on my arm and im met with my mother. “You have to let her go, Chris. She's not worth it.” Nothing but rage fills my senses as I hear those words leave her mouth. She's not worth it…How dare she say that about Y/n, she doesn't know her like I do. “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” She looks up at me with sympathy. “I've seen enough to know that she's no good. If you go after her now she’s gonna trip up again and drag you down with her, I used to know people like her, and They did nothing but destroy everything in their paths. Do not go.” I stand there in pure disbelief. “So what? Im just supposed to stand here like a fucking imbecile when she's obviously distressed?!” I spit out as I yank my arm away from her, looking down at her with disgust. “Im not doing that again. Im going after her, whether you like it or not.” I give her one last gare before turning around and walking out of the house in search of Y/n.

~~~~

Y/ns’ POV

The sound of crickets chirping in the long grass and wind rustling withered leaves has an eerie but soothing sound. I can't believe I ran out of there but I know that's what I needed to do. I stare at the reflection of the moon across the lake as I think back to when life was simple before reality struck me like a bolt of lightning. I think back to when I was just a little kid sitting on the same ground that I am now, I remember a small Chris running to me to show me a small daisy that he thought I'd like. He has always been like that, the kindest soul I have ever known. But I just had to ruin it, ruin us. Sometimes, I think he would be better off without me, im only just dragging him down. He insists that he wouldn't know where he would be without me but I know… He'd be happier and not have to deal with all the stress and sadness I've caused. It's like I destroy everything I've ever touched, why can't I just be normal? I let out a silent sob as my fingers tangled through the grass below me, If Chris was here he'd tell me that it would be okay, that I'd be okay. But how could he be so sure of that? He’d be horrified if he took even a peek into my brain. I still remember how he looked at me on that night. “I’ve never met a girl like you before, I feel like all my problems go away when I'm with you. I'm so glad I get to call you my best friend.” I shake my head at the memory. How could I be so stupid? He’d never like me, he's gonna end up with a happy bubbly girl and realize how horrible I am. I bring a shaky hand up to wipe away the tears on my cheeks when I hear a voice. “I thought I'd find you here.” I keep my head down as I feel Chris sit beside me.

“Hey…” He whispers as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to him “It’s gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay.” I let out a small chuckle. “I knew you’d say that.” I sniffle, leaning into his touch, it takes me a moment but I finally look up at him. He lets out a sad sigh and brings his hand up to my face, wiping away the tears that continue to roll down my cheeks. “Am I that predictable, huh?” He asks teasingly with a slight tilt to his head. I smile softly as I take my chance to fully take in everything about this moment. The way his hair brushes against my face as he looks down at me. The moonlight casting a pale light around us. I bask in the comfortable silence between us, wishing it could last forever. “I'm so sorry Y/n… I shouldn't have pushed you-” “It's okay, Chris.” I quickly cut him off. “It's just… I'm not good at talking about my feelings. Ever since I was younger I was told I was sensitive and I was overreacting. Everyone made me feel like I was crazy when I would open up, they’d say it was all in my head but would never comfort me or even try to help me. So I thought that if I could hide my feelings we’d be fine, but it didn't work.” My heart drops down to my stomach as I open up for the first time. “I'm just so tired of it all…” I sigh as my head hangs low. “I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives and I'm stuck frozen in time. Look at me right now… one thing goes wrong in my life and I come running back to the lake.” I shake my head as I look back out towards the water. Why does this have to be so difficult? “I try so hard at everything but nobody seems to notice or care, But when somebody actually notices I chase them away 'cause I get scared that I'd be a burden to them, I feel like such a coward.” I whisper the last part as I wait until the moment when Chris finally speaks up. It takes him a minute but he tightens his arms around me as he whispers. “I'm sorry… I know how hard that was for you and I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I take back every word I said to you, You are not a coward Y/n, you’re the strongest person I know.” He ends that sentence by placing a kiss on the side of my head. Oh my god, he just kissed me. I'm sure it was just a friendly kiss. “You think so?” I whisper back, hope glimmering in my eyes. “I know so. You’ve gone through so much, Y/n. I’ve never been more proud of somebody else before. Just know…you could never be a burden to me, Y/n. I love you so much and I care for you so deeply, you can come to me always. I could be anywhere, I could be at a concert and I'd still drop everything to come see you” He looks down at me with his infamous boyish grin. I smile back at him as I finally feel my tears dry up. “You love me?” I whisper in disbelief, how is this possible? He loves me back. He nods his head as he replies with a voice so soft that it puts clouds to shame

“More than anything.”

(A/n: Omg I worked my ass off on this one. I hope that you enjoyed it 🤭 the next part is gonna be the last one (don’t take my word on it cause I’m indecisive) anyways, thank you for reading, I LOVE U 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💋😽)

Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic

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anyaeras · 1 year

Text

A twisted love story Pt.2 || W.Maximoff

─────────────────────────────────────

Pairing || Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summery || after y/n's powers show wanda steps in to protect y/n even more, drastically wanda took y/n far away, slowly making them into her dumb little love

Warnings || long ,, fluff ,, angst ,,they/them pronouns ,, child testing ,, memory loss ,, panic attack ,, possessive Wanda ,, leading to dark!wanda ,, kidnapping ,, nursing ,, manipulation ,, slight innocent reader ,, mommy! Wanda coming up

Masterlist Part one

──────────────────────

Y/n was training well, even though they were brought on the team due to their advanced intelligence, Wanda had mentioned the experiments to Natasha, who felt it was best to test y/n's abilities see if anything new came about yet as of right now, it's only been the fast brain and battle strategies

"No, right leg crosses over and swings back quickly, you need to confuse the opponent" Natasha explained, Wanda was in a meeting so y/n was training with Nat, sometimes cap join, but y/n was pretty sure he was in a meeting with Wanda, y/n quickly attempted the kick getting it correct, but the black widow is beyond ready, blocking the kick harshly, but what the widow wasn't ready for was y/n's to phase through the block hitting Natasha, not hard enough to injure her yet it was still shocking...

"Natasha I'm so sorry I- I didn't know I could do that..." y/n was astonished at themself, they not only hit the black widow, but phased through her arm.

"Y/n it's alright, are you okay?" Natasha asked getting up regaining herself before moving closer you to the new avenger.

"Come on we are done for the day" Natasha lead y/n was a little confused while also worried, were the others going to be mad? Would you be sent away? Would wanda not wanna be friends anymore, that thought was the most worrying. Y/n was so lost In thought they didn't realize they had entered a medical lab.

"Bruce this is y/n, the newbie, well they have a past which is unknown to Shield, yet during training they were able to phase through my block, it was crazy" Natasha didn't know how else to explain what happened yet Bruce seemed to understand. Bruce stepped to the side for a moment typing away on a laptop.

"Okay so, just to be safe Im going to need to run some test and..."

the words kept flowing from his mouth but never processed in y/n's head, after 'run some test' y/n lost touch with reality... the brown dirty lab which was in her childhood 'home' flashed in their mind, the blue straps holding them down, the wires and needles haven't moved from where they were left, everything stayed the same old same old in their mind...

"NO TEST" y/n blared out in a panic, the flashbacks continue to reply for them in their mind, Natasha began trying to calm y/n down it didn't seem to be working, the panic only grew, nat tried to softly tap y/n yet it only triggered their ability's they began to phase in and out, moving inch by inch in the process-

"Bruce get Wanda down here right now!" The widow ordered, and he followed Friday's voice rang in the meeting room, calling Wanda to y/n, the witch shot out of her chair, sprinting to the medic wing, wanda had never ran that fast worried about what may be going on.

The witch froze when she bursted through the medical glass doors, y/n was still in a facing state, Bruce moved behind a wall to stay safe, as Natasha did to once Wanda came in.

"Y/n Дорогой (dorogoy) it's me it's Wanda" wanda wasn't scared of y/n she kept moving closer to y/n, getting in their sit of vision

"Wanda?"

"Yes it's me" wanda was the one who was able to calm y/n down enough to get more reasonable responses

"No test, I don't want to do test" wanda was confused, she hadn't been in the room prior, so she wasn't aware of the situation

"Bruce, give me a rundown" wanda said, but he knew what she meant the real explanation would cause y/n to panic while Wanda also didn't have the option to leave and step out of the room to hear the 'rundown' so Bruce would think the rundown as Wanda was listen to it through his mind.

The witch came up with a plan, as clearly test wouldn't be able to go on at this moment, and she was aware fury would find out about this situation quickly, if he wasn't already completely aware.

"Y/n how about we go back to the room, let's take a rest and chat" wanda proposed leading y/n slowly out of the med wing.

Wanda opened the door to her room, bring you inside, by this point you both pretty much shared this room, most of the time y/n would pass out in Wanda's arm at night, and Wanda would never tell them to leave.

Wanda sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to her for y/n to join. The witches eyes watched y/n's movements, her eyes stayed soft the whole time, as y/n sat down besides her she was quick to turn her body sitting cross legged on the bed, hold one of y/n's hands her her own.

"Y/n I won't let them hurt you, but I want to know about you, if you'll tell me sweetie?" Wanda prompt you to spill everything, her eyes soft and caring, yet her words cut you like a knife opening your mind and your past all to her.

"I wish I knew more, I can't understand the records that I stole very well, it's not the language it's just they are all in code, I only remember snippets of my past, I've been running since the day I got out, I'm scared Wanda" y/n cried out and Wanda just help you, she kept you close, letting you tell her your past, the idea that maybe you belonged to more then just some crazy scientist was starting to set in, cause Wanda to wonder what you really went through...

The idea was like a lightbulb when it hit Wanda, while y/n still sat partly on her lap, she realized that she could probably open up your memory, what was worrying is how it would affect you...

"Y/n honey, do you think I could take a look, maybe I could help you remember?" Wanda asked her long fingers running through your hair.

Y/n nodded allowing wanda to use her powers playing back y/n's life inside now Wanda's mind, noticing by small details that she was part of a hydra experiment, not just hydra though, y/n was a special project, they were talking about the project when Wanda was still at hydra, her own memory helped her fill in the missing truths from y/n's.

"Project MVT" wanda whispered to herself, she was aware that hydra wanted to make a multiverse traveler, someone who could phase through different realities, yet she wasn't oh where they had ever executed the plan.

"Y/n you were apart of a hydra experiment, they wanted you to be able to travel the multi-verse" wanda tried to explain their own story to them but y/n was just getting confused and worked up.

"How about we set this aside, you should rest a little" the witch switched the subject, pushing y/n to lay down on the bed, Wanda tucked them in, helping them daze off into a slumber.

Wanda had left y/n to nap, as she raced to the rest of the team, they were sitting in a meeting room with fury...fuck

"I figured it out." Wanda said as she walked in, causing everyone to stop and look towards her.

"Y/n is project MVT, hydra wanted to make a multi-verse traveler, she clearly was taken from their family young, and somehow ended up in northern Michigan, kept secluded from the world, with a group of scientist, they went through multiple experiments and abuse clearly now they are terrified of what may happened to them, and they are unaware about their own abilities, and their past." Wanda gave everyone a run down, honestly, it put everybody at ease, now knowing what happened to y/n and why this newbie was now in a panic.

"They also said they have some files they stole before escaping, which we can get into later"

Fury who was standing up at the opposite end from Wanda decided it was his turn to speak

"So what I'm understanding is that they could be an asset on the field, their abilities would be great in battle, if they can face through objects, they can face there any blow, bullet, or knife coming their way?" Fury stated cause Wanda to almost explode.

"No. Y/n will not be in battle, they need to be safe, we don't know who's after them!?" Wanda shouted

"That doesn't affect us. They are now a part of this team and I already have a mission I need them for, leaving asap." Fury countered the scarlet witch's statement, before walking out of the room, not letting Wanda say anything before then.

This was not going to happen, no mission, no danger, nothing for y/n. Wanda stormed out of the meeting room, going straight to her room, getting out multiple bags, using her powers to pack everything up very quickly, both y/n's and her own items were being stored.

The witch kept quiet, not making a sound in fear of waking the sleeping beauty in her bed, once the bags were packed she used her magic to take everything down to her car, the only one who noticed what was going on was Natasha, yet the widow didn't say a thing, Natasha only knew a little bit of what was going on. She wasn't aware of the entire situation so minding her business was what she did.

Wanda had now used her powers to force y/n into a deeper sleep, keeping them in a dead sleep as she carried them to her car, buckling y/n into a seat, as she moved to the driver side, and like that...they were not coming back.

Wanda and y/n were both off the grid, y/n stayed asleep the whole extremely long car ride, they didn't wake up till the next morning, when they were sleeping alone in an unrecognizable bed, panic set it quickly, they jumped up looking for a door, yet as they were standing Wanda came running in.

"Y/n baby it's okay, i'm right here" she hushed the panic, walking closer to wrap her arms around y/n's smaller body.

"Wanda, where are we?" Y/n asked innocently to the witch.

"We are home now, it's safe here моя детка (Moya detka) wanda said which was very cryptic, last time y/n was awake they were at the compound, now they are somewhere y/n doesn't even know, and the only one here was Wanda.

"Baby you are going to stay here with me and I'll keep you safe, no more bad guys playing games with you, or the others putting you in danger, here you will be safe with mommy" wanda whispered her words, y/n realized they had been practically kidnapped but with Wanda they felt safe, she never lied to them, so if Wanda felt this was the right move for them maybe it was? Y/n thought about it ignoring the name Wanda reference herself as, honestly it didn't register in their mind yet

Wanda pulled y/n back to the bed, setting them on her lap.

"You're gonna stay here with me, and I'll protect you, do you Understand" the Scarlet witch asked you, a nod was the reply given.

Wanda turned on the tv, putting on a Disney movie, now it was definitely out of the ordinary, Wanda was acting strange the more you thought about it, you were pulled away from the others while asleep, Wanda wants to keep you away from the world in this house she moved you both too, and now she's treating you like a child with the way she was talking down to you, too much was happening to soon, they thought a bit more, but the more y/n thought about everything the more worked up they grew.

Y/n got up from Wanda's lap, causing the witch to give them a confused look.

"Wanda? Where are we! Why am I here! Tell me whats going on this isn't fair!" Y/n blew up quickly, y/n phased a bit, which Wanda noticed, while also picking up that when y/n phased it took a lot of energy out of them. They were tired and emotional now with everything happening so quick in their life they needed an emotional output.

"Y/n. Enough, you are with me, you are safe isn't that enough baby? You gave me my sweet one" wanda kept her voice stern, as she told y/n off, Wanda was well aware y/n was in an emotional spot that's why Wanda was here, to guide y/n and keep them safe...

Y/n snapped after having a little tantrum, tears filled their eyes, as the witch opened her arms to y/n, allowing y/n to slip into her arms.

"Y/n I know you are upset, but you can't yell at me, I'm just trying to keep you safe" she explained softly, pulling y/n back into her lap for a moment Wanda debated on how she wanted to approach what she was going to do next.

"Y/n sweetie, you can rest your eyes again soon, but I need to know, do you like me?" Wanda asked y/n was laying against her still, the small phasing outburst took a lot of energy from them, and the sleep Wanda put them in wasn't very restful

"Of course I like you Wanda? You're like my only friend" y/n replied still not fully aware of what she meant, y/n was so out of it, they couldn't even find her behavior odd anymore.

"No y/n do you love me? Because I love you" wanda explained a little worried about what the reply may be, yes Wanda had pretty much kidnapped y/n and was slowly trying to push y/n to be her perfect little love, but the witch wasn't heartless, she cared what y/n thought.

"Yes, I love you Wanda" y/n whispered their head rested on the witch, they started to drift off yet it seemed they couldn't find sleep.

Wanda watched as y/n tossed and turned trying to get comfortable enough to sleep, nothing was working, she had came up with an idea, worried it may not go over well, but after y/n's confession wanda thought they could keep pushing y/n a little more

"Y/n baby sit up for a moment" wanda softly pushed y/n up gaining a whine from them which made the scarlet witch smile a bit, as she pulled off her top and bra, pulling y/n to lay into her, now y/n was tired and confused, while also feeling childish from Wanda babying

"Baby open your mouth" wanda guided y/n mouth over her breast allowing y/n to attempt to nurse, what surprised Wanda was when y/n went for it, now Wanda sure had to encourage y/n but they started to suck, eventually falling asleep while nursing....

Wanda knew then that it'll work out, y/n was gonna be the perfect one for her....her plan from day one finally was in action

#lgbtqia #marvel #marvel mcu #writing #fanfic #marvel edits #marvel fic #lizzie x reader #wanda maximoff #mommy wanda #a twisted love story #anyaeras #wlw smut #wlw concepts #wlw fiction #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda smut

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good4olivia · 2 years

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what if?

you can consider this a part 2 to welcome distraction but you don't have to read that one to understand this warnings: dark!aemond, gaslighting? if i missed anything please let me know! this is didn't end up the way i wanted and it kinda of got away from me im sorry lol hopefully ill get better fics out soon pairing: aemond targaryen x f!poc!reader

You laid in bed with Aemond, his arm was around your waist, your head on his chest. He was circling traces on your arm, kissing your forehead every few moments. You were running your fingers down his chest, sleepy after just being with Aemond.

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that right?” He said to you, never quite understanding how you don’t see yourself the way he does.

You looked up at him, “Hmm, maybe you’ll have to prove it to me?” You replied, a teasing glint in your eye.

“Didn’t I just do that for the last three hours?” He raised an eyebrow at you, laughed playfully. Of course, you couldn’t help laughing in return - his smile was contiguous.

Aemond was just about to lean into kiss you when the door to his chambers bursted open. He glared up at the intrusion as you hide in his arms, he instantly tensed his arm that was around you and pulled you closer, if even possible.

“Mother, don’t you knock?” Aemond was relieved it was only Alicent though he didn’t want to her to know you had been keeping his company. Perhaps she couldn’t see you under the sheets.

Alicent sighed, “I didn’t presume you to have company this late at night, Aemond.” She tried to make out the woman’s face but only got a glimpse of her long brown hair. “May we speak privately?”

Aemond only sucked in a dxeep breath but he couldn’t say no to his mother. “I’ll be back soon my love.” He kissed you quickly before reaching out of the bed for his robe.

You only heard Alicent whisper to Aemond, “Who is that?” She didn’t seem happy. You feared what she would do to you if she found out, maybe she wouldn’t care at all, maybe she would have you exiled. The thoughts ran over and over again in your head, the what if’s didn’t stop pouring through, keeping you from sleep. You waited and waited for Aemond to return, it had been over an hour. Maybe I should go. What if he’s waiting for me to leave? What if, what if, what if. You waited another few minutes before pulling on your robe and quietly left his chambers. It’s better this way, what if someone came in and saw some random serving girl in the prince’s bed?

An hour later, Aemond returned to his chambers. He had been anxious to return to you ever since he left. His mother wanted to discuss the event at Aegon’s coronation and what if meant for their family. Aemond knew it to be important for his mother to talk about these things late at night as to reduce eavesdropping but nights were his only time with you and even that wasn’t enough.

When he saw you were missing from the bed, his heart raced. Where was she? Did someone come in here while I was gone? Did you leave on your own accord? He didn’t care what the hour was, he needed to find you. He was interrupted in his searches by another political meeting, this time with the council.

—

Aemond stormed out the hall, anger flushed through him. His mother has betrothed him to one of the Stark girls, “We need the North on our side if we are secure your brothers claim.” She had said. Alicent was surprised at her son’s outburst, unlike Aegon, Aemond had never shown any disdain to having to marry for political reasons. She suspected whoever was in his chambers late last night had something to do with it and she wasn’t going to let some nothing girl get in the way of her family.

Aemond finally, finally, found you in one of the courtyards, washing sheets and hanging them up to dry. Everyone besides you saw him coming, instantly moving out of his way. In a good mood, Aemond is scary, let alone when lets his anger get ahold of him as it has right now. He had tunnel vision, nothing would stop him from reaching you.

He took your hand as you were reaching to hang up a sheet, a gasp escaped your lips at the contact, startled to see Aemond in front of you. “M-My, Prince. What are you doing here?”

“I need to speak with you. Alone.” He pulled you through the yard and into the castle. If he had half a mind right now, he would care about the lingering stares at this scene but he only cared about getting you to his chambers.

“My prince, could you please let go? You’re hurting me.” You managed to get out, struggling to keep up with his pace.

He didn’t turn around to face you, “If I let go of your hand, you might run away again.” You kept your mouth shut after that comment.

Soon you approached his chambers, he finally let go of your hand once the door was shut. You nursed your wrist, where you were pretty sure a bruise would form. “What is all this about, Aemond? I thought you wanted us to be discreet.”

“I don’t care!” He yelled, storming over to his bar cart. “My mother has betrothed me to a woman from House Stark. She says we are to be wed after the next moon.” He poured himself a glass a wine and swallowed.

Your heart sank, of course you’d only been with Aemond a few weeks and of course you were only a maid but deep in the night sometimes you let yourself believe it could always just be the two of you. “I’m sorry I left last night.”

He looked straight up from his cup, “Why did you?”

“I wasn’t sure you would want me to stay. You were gone for so long, I thought what if someone came in. I was just scared.” You told him honestly. You took a few careful steps toward him, he was still panting with anger, you could basically feel it radiating from him.

You slowly approached him, as you would a feral dragon - which you suppose he was. You gently reached for his eye patch and lowered it, he took a sharp breath but let you. He hadn’t taken it off in front of you yet, despite you asking him too, telling him you weren’t scared, that you wanted to see all of him but he always said he couldn’t. If he was to marry another women, you wanted all of him at least once.

His sapphire eye was beautiful, you ran your thumb down the scar, he kissed it when you reached his lip.

“I suppose I should say I’m happy for your engagement but I will be sad to see you wed to another.” You said as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer.

“As I do not wish to be wed to another.” He sighed, “I do not believe I will have a choice. We are going to war and we will need the support.”

You didn’t know what you expected, maybe for him to promise you he wouldn’t marry her, that you would be the only one in his heart but you were a fool to think so. “Can we be, could we be, still together?” You asked delicately.

He dropped his arms from your waist, “I do not plan to be an unfaithful husband or father bastards.” Aemond didn’t look you in the eye, he couldn’t as he knew he would melt instantly. He put his eye patch back on, “Perhaps you should leave now.”

“If it pleases you, my prince.” The formality felt like a dart through the heart but Aemond didn’t stop you from walking out the door.

—

It was now the eve of his wedding. There was to be a formal feast to welcome his betrothed and her family, Aemond was looking forward to it like the snow waits for summer. He hadn’t spoken to you in weeks, had only seen you in the courtyards and you would always avoid his gaze. Aemond wished he had that self discipline, whenever you were in the room you were the only one he could focus on.

That was the problem with this dinner, given the occasion you had to help the other maids serve. You saw the beautiful stark girl. You believed her to be everything you weren’t with a smile that could stop ships. If only you knew that Aemond thought she didn’t even hold a candle to your beauty.

The only thing that got you through this night was that Dustin, the kitchen boy was the one bringing the food from the kitchen. Dustin was your childhood friend, he always made you laugh when you were sad and your chest felt lighter when he was around. You told him everything, including your weeks with Aemond. That’s why when the Lady Stark walked in and was formally introduced to Aemond, Dustin secretly pushed a daisy in your pocket - a reminder from the childhood games you would play hiding daisies around the gardens. You smiled and squeezed his hand.

The moment would go unnoticed by everyone as all eyes were on the beautiful Lady Stark but no one was hyper fixated to everything you do like Aemond. He wanted to cut off that kitchen boy’s hand. Who the fuck was he anyway? Why does he seem so familiar around you?

“Aemond!” Alicent broke through his thoughts, the Lady Stark was now right in front of him, looking up at him with big blue eyes.

“Sorry, my lady.” He smiled at her, hearing Alicent make a false statement about how Aemond was rendered speechless from the Lady’s beauty. Aemond nodded and agreed anyway, his mind still racing at the thought of you and the kitchen boy.

The rest of the evening went by incredibly slow for him. He thought about how he used to spend these hours hold up in his chambers with you, your hair flowing freely from your shoulders, your eyes looking up at him as he would read to you. As you would pleasure him, more than he would ever thought was possible, the feeling in his chest as you came for him. All he wanted was those hours back. He didn’t know if he could survive without them.

It didn’t help as he watched you with that kitchen boy. You laughing at everything he said, What’s he saying that’s so fucking funny? He wanted to throw his cup at the boy. Alicent noticed her son barely paying attention to his bride, finally figuring out that the lowly serving girl was the one who had captured his heart. She sighed, she wanted only for her son to be happy but she had to put the family first, like she always did.

Your heart broke and broke watching the Lady smile at everything Aemond said and when they danced to the music you thought your heart would fall right out your chest. The only thing keeping you from filling the hall with tears was Dustin. He held your hand, made you laugh by making jokes about the King Aegon that would surely get him beheaded if heard by anyone’s ears but yours.

Despite his efforts, Aemond couldn’t keep his attention on the Lady for very long. Eventually Alicent had the other maids dismiss you from the feast for tonight, Aemond turned to his mother as he watched you walked out of the hall. Alicent only urged her son to focus on Lady Stark. Somehow this was worse than watching you with that boy, at least then he could see you in front of him, now his imagine would run wild.

The hour was late and finally Aemond was allowed to take his leave. He kissed the Lady’s hand and told her he looked forward tomorrow. How easy it was to lie to her. Aemond wouldn’t sleep tonight until he knew you weren’t in the arms of the kitchen boy so he went off to look for you.

Lucky for him or not, he found you easily enough. In the courtyard with that fucking kitchen boy. Aemond saw red through his one eye. He had half of a mind to summon his dragon and burn the boy straight to hell for the way he was looking at you.

“You won’t feel this way forever.” Dustin told you as you absentmindedly played with the hem of your skirt.

“I was never enough for him, Dustin. I just wish I was.” You spoke plainly.

Dustin pulled your head up with his fingers, “Maybe not. But you’re enough for me.” He leaned into kiss you, your lips had barely touched his when a knife was to his throat.

“Aemond!” You shouted, your heart race picked up faster than ever before. “Let him go, let him go!” You pleaded.

“Why should I?” He laughed humourlessly. “He spent the whole night testing me. I think he should learn the lesson not to tempt a dragon.” Aemond pressed the knife just enough so Dustin’s throat wouldn’t colour the concrete red.

“Aemond, he was doing nothing but comforting me as a friend. Please, just let him go. Please, I’ll do anything. Just let him go. Please.” You couldn’t help the tears that were flowing down.

Your words didn’t provide any comfort to Aemond in the slightest. In his mind, you shouldn’t be so desperate to spare this boy’s life. If Aemond had his way your only concern would be him. After a few tense moments, Aemond pulled away his knife but still held up Dustin by his collar, “If I see you near her, talking to her, touching her again, my knife won’t be so forgiving.” As soon as Aemond dropped his hand, Dustin ran away. It made Aemond laugh.

“You find this funny, you really are mad.” You spat at him, starting to take your leave when Aemond grabbed your wrist.

“Not so fast my flower. You said you would do anything if I let him go.” He reminded you. You looked at him like the mad man he was. What have you gotten yourself into?

“Your wedding is tomorrow. You told me you planned to be a faithful husband. I do know what else you want from me.” You snatched your hand away from his grip.

“I was a fool to think I could be without you, I know that after seeing that imbilice with you tonight and-“

“Dustin. His name is Dustin and he’s my friend. I’ve know him since I was a girl, he was always a great comfort to me and now he’ll never talk to me again.” You had never been so bold with Aemond before but you couldn’t help the words falling out of your mouth.

“Good. I don’t want him talking to you, I don’t want him comforting you. You don’t need him for that my love, you have me. Only me.” The look in his eye sent a chill down your spine.

“But I don’t, Aemond. Tommorrow you will have a new wife.” In a weird way you would never voice out loud, you were happy for his outburst tonight as it has made saying goodbye to him much easier than you ever thought.

“I will take you as my concubine, my darling.” He cupped your face in your hand, “My wife to be is nothing compared to you, you are my whole world. I would do anything for you.”

All the words you ever wanted to hear for the last two weeks, he was saying them to you and meaning them but your heart still hadn’t calmed down after seeing Dustin close to death, “If you would do anything for me, let me go.”

“My love, please. These last few weeks have been tortorous without you. Have they not been for you?” He pleaded with you.

“Of course they have. I have wanted nothing than to be with you again but after tonight-“

“I promise my love, this won’t happen again.” You knew what was left under his words, if he stays away from you. “I just, can you imagine what it was like for me tonight? You were laughing with him, the smile I thought was only for me, you were giving him. I could not temper my anger, that’s what you do to me.”

“I felt the same way, seeing you with Lady Stark. You were dancing with her, and-“

“I can promise you I did not look at her the way I look at you.” He noticed your shiver, “Let’s talk in my chambers, come on beautiful.” He started guiding you up the stairs and back into the castle. You wanted to scream at him, you met Lady Stark today. I’ve know Dustin since I was a child, there is no comparison. But you knew better.

You didn’t say anything until you reached his chambers. He poured you a glass of wine, “I’ve probably had my fair share tonight but here, I know it’s been a hard night.” He smiled so gently at you, you almost forgot your fears.

“Thank you, Aemond.” You sipped the wine, he undressed. You smiled softly as he struggled to undo the ties, an hour ago he had a knife up to Dustin’s throat and how he was struggling with his clothes. You set down the wine and helped him out of his outerwear.

“You will stay the night?” Aemond asked you as you folded his clothes over the chair.

You didn’t face him, you were torn. He snuck up behind you, planted kisses on your shoulder and behind your ear, “Please.” He whispered.

You turned around and brought his lips to yours. There was no going back, you weren’t sure if you could consider yourself a good person now. You should be in the maids quarter comforting Dustin, you should be in the dinner hall helping the other maids clean up after dinner but you weren’t there. You were here with Aemond and it was the saddest and most happiest you’d ever felt in your life. He wanted you, he couldn’t live with you, but at what cost?

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x female reader #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #dark!aemond targaryen x reader

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spimmed · 27 days

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⚠️WARNING!! DRAWN GORE!!⚠️

aaron ; the knife of never letting go .. plus other chaos walking doodles

[if u know what happens to aaron in the book u understand ^^”]

aaron oh aaron.. i adore him… hate his guts but adore him. he’s so fucking weird. love his character. i wasnt sure how to go about drawing his appearance but i like how it turned out.

and yes! Hello guys! As promised, i said i’d make more chaos walking content.. here we are! Better late than never.

I have a few doodles to throw in as i have no other home for these and i feel weird posting unfinished artwork on its own so excuse my rambling about these random things 😔🙏

first, wip drawing of all 3 babies getting SHOT🔥💯 strange how it happened to all of them .

But i was way too lazy to finish the rest and todds arms look like lego arms 💀. But u get the vision i hope

Next are these random plans for an animatic ive had in mind for LITERALLY a year now but am just too lazy to carry out. Two concepts in and im done Bye!

I do not like how i drew mayor prentiss here he looks too young! Well i think i need to redesign my design for him regardless. But its messy anyway so i dont mind much. Todd looks PEEVED😒

I dont believe I’ve posted this one anywhere? Its pretty old but worth throwing in

Ermm this next thing is probably cringe / too self indulgent but its tumblr who gives a fuck

I made an oc..😔 reg oliver (stole a name todd listed at the beginning of tkonlg i think im clever for it) and made him into a goofy character, never drew any more than these bc his design didnt look how i wanted thoufh its still a silly concept i think. Chaos walking is such a random thing to have ocs for i feel lmao

Ok i *THINK* thats every scrap i have to feed to you guys. I hope anyone who sees this enjoys even with my ramblings and unfinished work ILY GUYS!

Stupid davy and todd tbh creature

#chaos walking books #fanart #my art #chaoswalking #chaos walking #chaos walking trilogy #chaos walking fanart #the knife of never letting go #monsters of men #the ask and the answer #todd hewitt #davy prentiss #david prentiss #david prentiss jr #viola eade #aaron chaos walking #yay

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love-thisbe · 3 months

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- alex claremont diaz birth chart.

hi guys!! this is my first post ever here!! i posted a thread of alex's birth chart on twitter and i decided to bring it here as well since i love astrology, and i don't see a lot of people talking about firstprince's birth charts. thank you casey mcquiston for also being into astrology and giving me this amazing gift of knowing at what time they were born.

just a few notes before we begin:

- im sorry if there’s any typos, english is not my first language

- its ok if there’s something you don't agree with, astrology is not 100% correct and some things might not apply

- im planning to do henry's birth chart next, so let me know if you want that!

anyway let's start!!

sun in aries

the sun represents your will and purpose, your sense of vitality and your evolving higher self. in the sign aries it is cardinal-fire, and rules the head. the ruling planet is mars. aries people tend to be energetic, forceful and outgoing. alex is good at getting things done, although might prefer starting to finishing. like the energy of the first rush of spring, alex moves into the world in a headstrong, pioneering way. alex is likely to rush into things before reflecting, and may also be impatient or unwilling to sit back and allow events to mature. he has great vitality and a tremendous need to be physically active. he has a strong will, and is self-centered about pursuing it, so that he may try to dominate other people until he learns to be more subtle about getting his way. he also has an acute need for love and affection. he benefits from self-discipline, so that he can channel his abundant energy more constructively.

the sun in the ninth house represents a concentration of the vital force of abstracting and understanding universal truth. alex is strongly invested in creating for himself a philosophy as his personal vision of life as an interconnected adventure or journey. he willingly study the various meanings ascribed to life that are visionary in nature, involving patterns that interplay or holistic forms. he uses his higher awareness to look for pieces of life’s mysterious puzzle and then organize his perceptions to connect them within a broader picture of reality. in addition to his voyage through his own inner landscapes he enjoys adventuring by traveling to foreign lands and learning languages. he is also drawn to be an observer of other’s ideas and experiences. he loves to study and reflect back into society anything that people have gathered and learned. his nature is to eliminate the extraneous from hidden truths and reveal their essence to those around him. alex is at his best when he has a range of areas of interest to experience and absorb into his mind and body, in order that he stretches out his visionary vistas and make them more concretely available to others as he lucidly explores the outer reaches of his perceptions.

moon in aries

the moon in aries gives an ardent nature with inclinations to impatience, independence and impulsiveness. with this placement, alex has a high energy level. he also has a strong competitive streak, which, together with his attack first attitude, may conceal subtle feelings of insecurity. his emotions are keenly felt, direct and spontaneous. he may have to guard against a quick temper. he should also guard against a tendency towards a too hasty reaction to situations, rather than a more carefully reasoned approach. he is more comfortable thinking of himself as strongly independent with great physical daring and courage.

the moon in the ninth house represents an emotional sensitivity in the area of higher ideals and visionary philosophy. he may be something of a dreamer and tend to romanticize his emotions. his philosophy is based on his feelings and sensitivity to his ideals regarding the superconscious realms. he constantly studies his experiences to redefine his own philosophy about life, which may be the basis for his own vision of religion. his philosophical attitude may seem difficult for other people to understand. he may suffer from a utopian ideal of wanting to feel good all of the time which can cause his suffering. alex tends to be a dreamer yet his dreams may reflect truths about reality when he is in tune to his higher awareness of consciousness. he loves travel and is likely to take many journeys. he is constantly trying to maintain his ideal emotional state of being. he is a natural teacher. alex has a strong need to share his philosophy of life with other people. in this way, he can share his refined imaginative and creative insights and show others how to refine their inner visions along with him.

rising in leo

leo rising people are dramatic, extroverted and assertive. their ruling planet is the sun. they have great energy, courage and honesty, and are very creative, self-confident and perhaps a bit self-indulgent. they expect to be the center of attention, and often are. even so, people tend to forgive them for their excesses, sensing in them the incurable romantics. they are likely to have a leonine appearance, with a thick mane of hair and a dramatic flair to their clothing and appearance. they also enjoy the warmth of the physical sun. they are determined and usually get their way when they really want to. they also possess great integrity, and are natural leaders. leo people are very proud, and their challenge is not to be arrogant or egotistical, but rather to develop humility and compassion, and to learn detachment in the gift of their affections.

mercury in aries

mercury in aries gives a forceful impetuous and impulsive mentality. witty, inventive and quick, alex takes up new ideas with enthusiasm. his intuition is keen. he tends to be impatient with with opposition and delay. he may also be very sensitive when it comes to visual or auditory sense impressions. he may have a tendency to exaggerate, or to argue. he has considerable mental energy, and a need to assert himself in his thought process and his communication with others. it benefits him to learn concentration, for with control his abundant mental energy is vastly more useful.

mercury in the ninth house represents a strong mental connection between his inner awareness and the natural laws of expanded perspective: higher learning, philosophy or religion. he has a keen-witted and idealistic mentality, with great powers of logic and deduction. he enjoys a wide range of studies, through reading and travel. he is also naturally inclined to teach what he perceives and discovers, for his idealism is strong. he is very direct in thought and expression and will say exactly what is on his mind, giving him a reputation for lack of tact. he may be subject to visualizing grant possibilities and centring his perceptions on the larger issue, rather than on the details. his thought process is better suited for exploring and advancing his position on a particular topic than for cautious investigation of every angle. he is the consummate student and teacher of life, at his best when he can exchange ideas with others and constantly expand his perceptions.

venus in aquarius

venus in aquarius gives a calm and detached nature. he is idealistic, even revolutionary in his outlook, and wants to see a better society emerge from the vagaries of the present day. he is an admirer of symmetry and elegance, with an enthusiastic appreciation of artistic form in music, poetry and painting. he functions well in friendships and in groups, but he may not always be happy in intimate connections with significant others. his love is broader and more general, and he may be given to spiritual or philanthropic activities rather than to close personal relationships. he may go through many changes in his love life, being very open to new influences that suddenly comes up for him. he benefits from deepening and more fully expressing his affection for one person in particular.

venus in the seventh house represents a strongly felt connection to partnerships with others. relationships are important to him. he is also inclined to be “young at heart”. he feels at his best when acting in concert with another person, especially an intimate partner, then his natural gifts of grace, diplomacy and charm comes to the core. what is nice on his own becomes really nice with another. he has a gentle personality, very considerate and kind. he also has refined aesthetic and artistic sensibilities, and a keen sense of color. he has the potential to excel in many professions, including legal work and diplomacy. he tends to idealize his chosen love partner, and he benefits from the realization that the true source of grace and beauty in his life comes from within his own nature.

mars in aries

mars in the ninth house (or sign) gives you a friendly and optimistic nature. he is likely to lead a physically active life, and is fond of sports and gambling. he is idealistic, outspoken and honest with his opinions. he is also likely to be spontaneous and even a bit impulsive. he can be scattered in the application of his energies, and will perhaps benefit him to work at becoming more reliable. he has a great propensity for learning. his energy is most naturally invested in adventures of the higher mind: travel, education, perhaps publishing. he likes many different pursuits, and has a kind of haphazard way of going about things that can get him into trouble. he may tend to miss the details, by fixing his gaze on “the big picture”. he also can be dogmatic at times, when he gets to carried away with his own point of view. he profits by learning to slow down his enthusiasm and focus on his concentration on reachable goals.

mars in aries (or the first house) gives an independent and positive nature, and outwardly directed and ambitious orientation. he possesses great strength of character as well as an inordinate degree of self-assertion. he is a formidable adversary, tending to react aggressively when threatened. he is extremely courageous and enthusiastic, traits that will take him far in life, but he may need to work on a tendency of being quick to anger and he can behave impulsively at times. he may also cause trouble by unwilling to give way and make concessions, especially if mars is afflicted in his charts by planetary aspects. it benefits him to learn the art of compromise. he can also benefit from cultivating patience and tolerance to offset his occasional short temper. he will gain in the long run when he practices self-control and displays a great degree of unselfishness in his dealing with others.

jupiter in pisces

jupiter in the eighth house (or sign) gives him a shrewd and careful personality. he can also be somewhat secretive. he has good judgment, and a constant sense of what is important to him. his focus is excellent, and you make a good worker because of it. he has an innate sense of who he is and where he wants to be, and that is usually where he will be found. alex is passionate and sensual and very tuned in to other people. he has the gift of observation. he is fond of the occult, and he can possess the powers of a healer or mystic. he will likely go through many changes in his life in search of a deeper connection to his own higher power. he should beware, though, of being overly self-indulgent.

jupiter in pisces (or the twelfth house) gives him a quiet and unassuming personality. he is good and kind, very considerate of others, and is friendly and easygoing. he needs to feel an emotional resonance in order for his work to be satisfying to him. he has his own personal code of conduct to which is his truth, no matter what public opinion may be, or convention may dictate.he may suffer in his life from being overly sensitive to the needs of others, or seek to retire from the casual cruelties of the world at large, so there is some danger of escapism. he is content to do what he does because is helpful to other people. he often appear more at home in an imaginary universe of his own design than concrete reality and benefits when he pay some modicum of attention to the nitty-gritty details of life that surrounds you as well as to the secret world of your dreams.

saturn in aries

saturn in the ninth house (or sign) gives an educated and philosophically active mentality, with a deepening and a concentration, or a blockage, in the area of higher learning and expansion into new horizons. he is courageous in expressing his opinion, has a keen intuition and makes a good teacher. his early beliefs may be characterized by adhering too strictly to a dogmatic and rigid set of principles, but he grows into a more mature wisdom in his later years. he likely has a need for physical exercise. he makes a good teacher, and may also feel a calling to work with the disadvantaged. while open and honest, and intent on expressing his point of view, he may also doubt himself in this area, seeming indecisive or rebellious. his goals are mental and spiritual, rather than material, and he may search for a new framework of moral or spiritual values, than adopt existing outworn belief systems. his lesson is to eventually come to the realization that the true source of moral and ethical valuation lies within himself.

saturn in aries (or the first house) gives a deepening and concentration, or a blockage, in the area of self-confidence and self-expression. with this placement he is likely to be reserved. he also has good reasoning power. he desires to better himself, and is eager for success in the world of tangible results. the purposeful expression of his expressions of his will may however be inhibited by subconscious fears, preventing action. this is a cross to bear, but he can definitely overcome this tendency with persistent effort over time. he may appear shy or stiff, or self-effacing, or he may overcompensate through defensive or argumentative behavior. he may at times strongly assert himself, seizing control of situations. he may also suffer from headaches. he possess a powerful desire for freedom of expression that does not easily find is realization. his lesson is striving to overcome any fears he may has in expressing himself, and thus come to a better understanding of who he is and what he can achieve.

uranus in aquarius

uranus in the seventh house (or sign) gives an individual who is independent and original in the expression of artistic impulses and relationships. he is a lover of harmony and beauty, and he express this love in his own unique manner, he does not subscribe to a conventional sense of aesthetic, but is always breaking new ground. he is idealistic and philosophical, and he has a restless interest in new forms of stimulation, there can be problems with marriage in that partners may find him alternately affectionate and uninterested. he is likely to seek a rather unconventional relationship, which allows room from growth on both sides. he needs more space in the relationship the most, and search for a partner who understands that, and has his or her own unique perspective. he may also bring new concepts of the area of partnership. part of his purpose in this life may be the transformation of the partnership energy into a new mode of being that can serve his own interest as well as enliven and invigorate his partner.

uranus in aquarius (or the eleventh house) gives a clever individual who is idealistic and also highly unconventional. he is humane and concerned with the progress of mankind. he is likely to associate himself with groups and associations having as their goal the betterment of society, and he can also have conflicts with such groups, depending in part on whether there are stressful aspects to uranus in his natal chart, he has his own unique point of view and his role in the group may often be to throw the monkey wrench into conventionally and simple-minded lock step with the group concept. because uranus is the most changeable of planetary influences, he may also experience changes in his own goals or group affiliation over time. he has a strong urge for personal freedom, and is attracted to the pull of new horizons, and this can impede the formation of stable alliances. his challenge is to make available to others, through collective action, the progressive ideals for social reform that he feels so clearly within himself.

neptune in aquarius

neptune in the sixth house (or sign) gives a mentally creative personality with a tendency to be critical at times. with this placement he can become confused over details. he may have problems with responsibility or feeling that he must be of assistance to others, no matter how he is feeling about it, or he could experience his work as frustrating and ultimately dissatisfying. or there may be an unconscious tension between his rational mind and his innermost feelings, such as psychosomatic illness not properly diagnosed. on the other hand, the ideal of service he aspires to, both to other people and to his own highest purpose for himself, may led him to a significant mission in his life. he could achieve greatly in the helping professions, possibly with a specialization in alternative medicine, and especially if neptune is well aspected by other planets in his chart. he benefits by getting away from too great an involvement toward the broader ideals of service to humanity and personal transformation.

neptune in aquarius (or the eleventh house) gives a visionary personality with altruistic principles. he is popular, and may have a wide circle of friends. on the other hand, he may have problems to be worked through with deception in friendships, or confusion regarding friends’ true motives, or issues of using social interaction to escape his responsibilities. he has a highly developed social sense, and a strong affinity for groups expressing spiritual ideals. he may need to clarify his goals. he has a tremendous and positive vision of his own possibilities and those for society at large, but if neptune is no well aspected in his chart, he may have difficulties to work through regarding the practical fulfillment of his visions and plans. at his best, he is compassionate towards others, making significant contributions toward the creation of a more loving world, based on humanitarian ideals of universal brotherhood.

pluto in sagittarius

pluto in the fifth house (or sign) gives a tremendous desire to be recognized and admired. alex may feel compulsion toward self-aggrandizement, or have underlying feelings of insecurity leaning to self-centered and ego-oriented behavior. he is an essentially dynamic and charismatic individual with a strong need to make an impact on the world around him. he may find much to admire in the acting or artistic professions, and find his own creative outlet there, although he is likely to go through many changes and challenges in putting himself forward in a way that truly serves as an expression of his highest purpose for himself. his desire for personal reputation may also be thwarted, but this can lead to benefits for him, by forcing him to re-evaluate his need to achieve. transformation in this area is quite possible, as he learns how to work with his personal power in more constructive ways. by embodying the more positive form of his creative energy, and thereby expressing his deepest truth, he can perform an important service for himself and society.

pluto in sagittarius (or in the ninth house) gives alex a thoughtful personality, with a focus on deeper understanding. with this placement he may work to constantly discover and rediscover the meaning of his existence. he may be concerned as his life unfolds with religious or ethically based belief systems, and he may attempt to coerce others into accepting his own viewpoint oe become a zealous spokesperson for your particular philosophy or cause. as he arrives at conclusions regarding his own personal code of ethics he may feel called upon to express these beliefs to others, but he benefits from avoiding dogmatic discourses that are unlikely to sway anyone else’s opinion. his ultimate mission is to find inside himself the motivation for his method of seeing the world around him, to penetrate into his own hidden agendas and find a more holistic worldview based on direct experiences. his personal understanding will undoubtedly undergo radical transformations in the course of his life, ideally these will progress toward developing his own unique ideology based on a more conscious understanding of his own process rather than on socially accepted belief systems received from others.

chiron in scorpio

chiron on the fourth house (or sign) represents issues with the vital force of self-nurturing and taking care of those closest to yourself. with this placement alex has a strong drive, even a compulsion, to be centered in home and family, but this desire does not easily find its fulfillment. there may have been painful episodes in connection with early family life; perhaps he had trouble getting settled down to enjoy the comfort that a safe and secure home brings to a child. as a result, he may be even more motivated to having this firm base of security in his adult life than others tho whom it is second nature. he may alternate between over-identifying with his family or under-identifying with them, or he may find himself constantly thwarted in finding this important level of security as he goes through life. on a more symbolic level, he is also painfully challenged in finding his own center in a psychological sense. because of the inherent insecurity of his inner world he may struggle to find himself, and becomes easily influenced by others due to lacking his own clear sense of self. without this base he is more easily unbalanced, and he may find that he moves in many different directions emotionally, as the wind blows. he may long for a more secure and comfortable sense of who he is, independent from other’s opinions, a place where he can truly be himself. part of the problem with connecting to his inner self and externally with home and family, is that the conflict you feel may be largely unconscious in nature, running on autonomously as a result of long-buried experiences too painful to recollect and consciously examine. he may have difficult times with issues regarding home and family as he goes through life, until he can become more conscious of these influences, and less easily overtaken by them. there may be conflicts with his mother or other primary parental figure, that needs to be worked through, as he really begins to get in touch with his blocks and difficulties in these areas. once he begins to nourish himself and to provide his own parenting, rather than depending on the external world to provide comfort and security, he can come around to being a source of inspiration for others as well as himself.

chiron in scorpio (or the eighth house) represents issues with one’s vital force and transform and to regenerate. with this placement alex has a strong compulsion from intimate connection with other people that does not find its realization. he is likely to have been wounded in his sexuality in some fashion, possibly through early experiences, either physical or emotional. as a consequence, being close to other people becomes both desired and painful. he may hold the prospect of closeness with others with some carefully engineered defenses, such as retreating from expressing his true feelings by means of clever dylanesque obfuscation or perhaps by using other people before they have the chance to use him. if he retreats into cleverness and mental gymnastics rather than risk staying with his actual emotion, he leaves these feelings unexpressed, and continues a process of being out of touch not only with the intimate other, but with the deeper part of himself as well. his journey of discovery of his true emotions, the poignant and vital basis of his inner life, is ultimately the most important one for him, and provides rich rewards as he begins to consciously experience these inner depths of his being, over a period of time. in this journey he will re-connect to his own long buried emotions, and through this process to others as well. as he begins to find himself and his power, and is truly able to work with other people, he may be able to provide a sense of hope to them in their own individual journey as well, through the increased consciousness he has gained.

north node in virgo

lunar north node in the second house (or sign) south node in the eighth house or sign. this placement gives a personality somewhat focused around the issues of money and material possessions. in a previous period, or a past lifetime, he was concerned with the utilization of the other people’s resources rather than his own. he also may have gotten involved with occult practices, or engaged in a deep and even taboo relationships with others, factors that shaped your past, and the residue of which still colors his present life experience. now, in this lifetime, he must learn to marshal his own forces and be a resource to himself. he is in the process of clarifying his values, based on a new feeling of independence, having come through the fires of hell, as it were, in order to establish a more stable and lasting sense of self-worth.

lunar north node in virgo (or the sixth house) south node in the twelfth house or sign. this placement gives a personality with a great desire to be of service to other people. in the past, or in past lives, he was dreamy and unfocused, and paid little attention to detail. he was in the process of connecting to his higher self, journeying back into the cosmic realms within his own mind. now his focus must shift to the details of daily life, in a constant effort to improve himself, to serve himself and others, and to remain alert to the myriad mundane details of life that do not leave much time for daydreaming. this is a difficult transition to make, but necessary if he is to fulfill his destiny, this time around. since he feels a close kinship to the spiritual world, dealing with every-day details sometimes may seem boring and unsatisfying. as he works through these challenges, though, he comes closer and closer to an understanding of how dealing with everu-day issues really does connect him with the world of spirit, still operating at the core of his being.

midheaven in taurus

the midheaven, or MC (medium coeli) is usually but not always the same as the tenth house cusp. symbolically, the midheaven represents you individuality, the outward expression of your energies, it can also be referred to as ego identity, and has a strong connection with public life and career, symbolized by the tenth house. the midheaven also represents your aspirations and ideals. together with the ascendant, it represents personality in interaction with the world.

the tenth house symbolizes public life, authority, career issues, and also represents the mother, or perhaps the opposite-sex parent. as standing opposite the fourth house, the tenth house represents how the foundation of the personality is made manifest and concrete in the world. the birth chart is often divided into four seven-year periods, one per quadrant, cycling each twenty-eight years of life, and the tenth house is reached at age 21, te age of legal adulthood. planets in the tenth house will indicate what the energies and challenges are for your career, also how your mother (or perhaps father) was experienced.

taurus midheaven individuals achieve success when they openly express their own values. their career needs to reflect those values, perhaps by building something that furthers what they feel is a worthy principle. they access the strength and serenity of letting others know where they stand.

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