#this is a pointless argument because we will never agree

[olderthannetfic]

I hate when I see "minors DNI" on smut. I'm not going to be tainted by reading it. I'm not going to read it and go out and do it - trust me, the immature jackasses at my school are not worth banging no matter how horny I get - and I'm not even capable of doing a good chunk of what I read anyway because I'm into vampires. And in the event I got vampire powers, I'd have other shit to do besides go get laid.

Possibly unpopular hot take but "minors DNI" isn't about keeping me safe, it's about keeping adults comfortable. And obviously you're allowed not to be comfortable with me commenting on it or talking to you about it. I can see why that'd feel gross to you. But me reading it without saying a word can't possibly make you feel uncomfortable because you have no way to know it happened or didn't happen. It's about being able to tell the other adults you're one of the good and not creepy smut writers who doesn't talk to kids when no one even accused you of that. It's about comforting them and comforting yourself with the idea you're good.

But the thing is, even if I read your work and I go "I'm going to go out and use blood as lube!", I read one story by you. I was raised by my parents for 16 years. Even if we ignore the idea I have the ability to think things through - which is stupid, but for the sake of argument we'll do it - if I'm allegedly easily influenced by the world around me, wouldn't the blame still not be on you anyway? You're not my mom, my mom is my mom.

I was trying to find fic with my favorite sex position (to read about, I've never done it IRL) and had to wade through a bunch of "minors DNI!" "I block minors!" "minors go do your homework!" and it was just. So dumb. So dumb and theatrical and pointless.

And also so, so easy to get around just by lying and writing "18" in my bio.

--

I suspect they're more afraid of legal trouble than of discomfort, but I agree the warnings don't carry any actual legal weight.

Personally, I don't care what you do unless you have shitty parents and you're dumb enough to let them catch you reading my porn or my gay stuff or whatever and they come make it my problem. Most teens are smart enough to hide things from this kind of parent though.

[sophsicle]

Nah that James and Sirius kiss was 100% cheating 💀💀 even tho regulus said they’re not dating they are and you can’t just kiss someone else while dating someone even if you didn’t mean it romantically🤯 how is this any different then Remus and Sirius kissing while remus is dating Fabian? I think the only one here obsessed with cheating is you

it is sad to me

that this is how you think

but you are entitled to your opinion

[autisticandroids]

i've been seeing ai takes that i actually agree with and have been saying for months get notes so i want to throw my hat into the ring.

so i think there are two main distinct problems with "ai," which exist kind of in opposition to each other. the first happens when ai is good at what it's supposed to do, and the second happens when it's bad at it.

the first is well-exemplified by ai visual art. now, there are a lot of arguments about the quality of ai visual art, about how it's soulless, or cliche, or whatever, and to those i say: do you think ai art is going to be replacing monet and picasso? do you think those pieces are going in museums? no. they are going to be replacing soulless dreck like corporate logos, the sprites for low-rent edugames, and book covers with that stupid cartoon art style made in canva. the kind of art that everyone thinks of as soulless and worthless anyway. the kind of art that keeps people with art degrees actually employed.

this is a problem of automation. while ai art certainly has its flaws and failings, the main issue with it is that it's good enough to replace crap art that no one does by choice. which is a problem of capitalism. in a society where people don't have to sell their labor to survive, machines performing labor more efficiently so humans don't have to is a boon! this is i think more obviously true for, like, manufacturing than for art - nobody wants to be the guy putting eyelets in shoes all day, and everybody needs shoes, whereas a lot of people want to draw their whole lives, and nobody needs visual art (not the way they need shoes) - but i think that it's still true that in a perfect world, ai art would be a net boon, because giving people without the skill to actually draw the ability to visualize the things they see inside their head is... good? wider access to beauty and the ability to create it is good? it's not necessary, it's not vital, but it is cool. the issue is that we live in a society where that also takes food out of people's mouths.

but the second problem is the much scarier one, imo, and it's what happens when ai is bad. in the current discourse, that's exemplified by chatgpt and other large language models. as much hand-wringing as there has been about chatgpt replacing writers, it's much worse at imitating human-written text than, say, midjourney is at imitating human-made art. it can imitate style well, which means that it can successfully replace text that has no meaningful semantic content - cover letters, online ads, clickbait articles, the kind of stuff that says nothing and exists to exist. but because it can't evaluate what's true, or even keep straight what it said thirty seconds ago, it can't meaningfully replace a human writer. it will honestly probably never be able to unless they change how they train it, because the way LLMs work is so antithetical to how language and writing actually works.

the issue is that people think it can. which means they use it to do stuff it's not equipped for. at best, what you end up with is a lot of very poorly written children's books selling on amazon for $3. this is a shitty scam, but is mostly harmless. the behind the bastards episode on this has a pretty solid description of what that looks like right now, although they also do a lot of pretty pointless fearmongering about the death of art and the death of media literacy and saving the children. (incidentally, the "comics" described demonstrate the ways in which ai art has the same weaknesses as ai text - both are incapable of consistency or narrative. it's just that visual art doesn't necessarily need those things to be useful as art, and text (often) does). like, overall, the existence of these kids book scams are bad? but they're a gnat bite.

to find the worst case scenario of LLM misuse, you don't even have to leave the amazon kindle section. you don't even have to stop looking at scam books. all you have to do is change from looking at kids books to foraging guides. i'm not exaggerating when i say that in terms of texts whose factuality has direct consequences, foraging guides are up there with building safety regulations. if a foraging guide has incorrect information in it, people who use that foraging guide will die. that's all there is to it. there is no antidote to amanita phalloides poisoning, only supportive care, and even if you survive, you will need a liver transplant.

the problem here is that sometimes it's important for text to be factually accurate. openart isn't marketed as photographic software, and even though people do use it to lie, they have also been using photoshop to do that for decades, and before that it was scissors and paintbrushes. chatgpt and its ilk are sometimes marketed as fact-finding software, search engine assistants and writing assistants. and this is dangerous. because while people have been lying intentionally for decades, the level of misinformation potentially provided by chatgpt is unprecedented. and then there are people like the foraging book scammers who aren't lying on purpose, but rather not caring about the truth content of their output. obviously this happens in real life - the kids book scam i mentioned earlier is just an update of a non-ai scam involving ghostwriters - but it's much easier to pull off, and unlike lying for personal gain, which will always happen no matter how difficult it is, lying out of laziness is motivated by, well, the ease of the lie.* if it takes fifteen minutes and a chatgpt account to pump out fake foraging books for a quick buck, people will do it.

*also part of this is how easy it is to make things look like high effort professional content - people who are lying out of laziness often do it in ways that are obviously identifiable, and LLMs might make it easier to pass basic professionalism scans.

and honestly i don't think LLMs are the biggest problem that machine learning/ai creates here. while the ai foraging books are, well, really, really bad, most of the problem content generated by chatgpt is more on the level of scam children's books. the entire time that the internet has been shitting itself about ai art and LLM's i've been pulling my hair out about the kinds of priorities people have, because corporations have been using ai to sort the resumes of job applicants for years, and it turns out the ai is racist. there are all sorts of ways machine learning algorithms have been integrated into daily life over the past decade: predictive policing, self-driving cars, and even the youtube algorithm. and all of these are much more dangerous (in most cases) than chatgpt. it makes me insane that just because ai art and LLMs happen to touch on things that most internet users are familiar with the working of, people are freaking out about it because it's the death of art or whatever, when they should have been freaking out about the robot telling the cops to kick people's faces in.

(not to mention the environmental impact of all this crap.)

[skaldish]

I'm about to give you all the single most powerful piece of advice that was ever told to me:

It is important to be a principled person.

This is more important than being a good person. But don't take this to mean I think we should be bad people.

The reason why "being principled" has more weight than "being good" is because the definition of "good" is arbitrary. It changes depending on who you ask, which means the standards of achieving goodness are always going to change and pose contradictions.

Principles are different. They are more actionable and concrete. Principles are ideas and concepts you personally value, in that you find them valuable to your lived experience. This makes them different than something like a commandment, because they're not a doctrine. Their source is your personality—who you are and the experiences that have shaped you—rather than your goals and ambitions alone.

To give an example, here are a few of my own principles:

I value self-sovereignty. I think it's a person's inherent right to be free of undue influence, and to act as agents of their own free will. (Not to be confused with acting with impunity; people have the right to experience the consequences of their own actions the same way they have the right to act upon their own free will.)

I value people. I show people courtesy as a baseline, even during arguments, until it becomes clear the other person simply wishes to engage in the spirit of hostility. And even then I don't really lash out—I just leave. At no point do I lose sight of the fact that the people I'm interacting with are as real as I am, who have feelings and complex lives the same as I do. This means I also really value trying to understand where people are coming from, and to look at things from their perspective, even if I don't agree with it.

I value being accurate, as opposed to being right. This has been a more rewarding approach for me, by comparison.

I value discernment. I want to know what things are, which means differentiating them from what I think they are from what they seem to be, and from what they are not. The reason why I practice discernment is due how I think—my brain understands things based on how they are, rather than based on what they are—but the reason why I value discernment is because it allows me to interact with the world in a much deeper way.

I value being a mammal. Life becomes easier when I (to quote another Tumblr post) let the mammal that is my body love what it loves. Fighting against this in the past proved to be a pointless and joyless endeavor.

I have more, but these are just the things that come to me off the top of my head. And keep in mind, these will likely change as I change as a person, because that is how principles work.

To be honest, I've never put much thought into whether other people should have the same principles as me; people have different personalities and lived experiences than I do, so it makes sense to me that we would all prioritize different things.

But what I do know is that I fundamentally disagree with people whose principles are antithetical to my own, principles like conquest (of self or other), conformity, purity, and controlling others. Whether or not someone realizes they're embodying these principles is another story, but in any case it's how I know who to avoid engaging with. This is regardless of someone's political alignment or identity.

In my opinion, thinking this way makes it easier to stay grounded in a rapidly-changing world, and to remain focused on what's actually important to you in the face of the unknown. It allows you to find stable ground within yourself.

[thatbitchery]

Just in case you needed a guide to human relationships & interactions and how to actually relate to people I have one for you, & it's made of 3 parts.

People are different from you. There's literally not one human being out there exactly like you, you could have an identical twin with the same parents same childhood &c and I promise you you're nothing alike. You've lived such different lives despite 75% similarity in DNA. Understanding that people form their opinions belief systems worldview & c on individual experiences based on their trauma, family dynamics, cultures, home value systems, literally climate etc and we are all different will save you from easily getting triggered when someone doesn't share your opinion bc you're not in their shoes you don't know why they have/that/ opinion so you have no grounds to go feral. People are different from you. Understand this & save yourself the embarrassment of pointless arguments & little virtue locks because you cannot fathom different opinions when it's literally the one single truth. Understand this sk you're not going to war with people on the reblogs for not having the same pov. Yours makes sense to you. Theirs makes sense to, them. Who are you to decide whose is the absolute truth?

You are not a God get off your little high horse you're a human being. People do not owe you worship or discipleship. They don't have to believe everything you say or buy into you. Well within their rights to look at what you say or do and say yeah that's a load of bullshit. You're not a God so you're not always right, remember this the next time you're about to lay your life on the ground over an opinion, you could be wrong. Nothing will hurt you more than that thewizardliz my way or no way mindset. Remember the things you used to defend with your life when you were like 10 that you're rn absolutely disgusted by? Leave space & never speak in absolutes & never degrade another's opinion to the ground, you could be wrong & it will be very very very embarrassing for you when you find out you were.

Everyone is right, all the time. There is no absolute in this universe. Unlearn debates they're mighty pointless, everyone is right every single time. Truth is very subjective so the girl that has been traumatized by M3n saying all m3n deserve d3ath is right, if you were her you'd say the same thing and the v3gan is right & the carnivore is right & the conservative is right & the liberal is right- because everyone is right all the time and I promise if you were in their shoes, you'd see it. You'd see it. Even when someone Says the dumbest stuff known to existence, from where they are standing, they're right. Debates are pointless. Extremely. You can not fathom the kind of life others have had, not even your siblings or children- what then gives you the confidence to decide what should be right to them? Know your place.

So human interactions work better when you understand these, they just do. Once you no longer feel the need to justify your pov because you know you're literally the only one with it it's just makes things, easier thats why the apostle Paul said to never argue with people about opinions, its useless & tempts them and you to sin. It makes you more understanding & empathetic & pleasant & sophisticated to be around, it's the winners draw. You unlearn the need to argue because you know they'll never see it like you and you'll never see it like them so you take the high road and find middle ground or nod along and go home or find a way to say I don't agree, but I can accommodate that you think like that, and watch how people completely flock to you. There's no power , at all, to 'my way or no way' find your own little planet & leave that thewizardliz mindset on YouTube. Human beings are social relational creatures, part of relationships is accommodation.

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 3

It's been so long since I updated this you probably should go back and read parts 1 and 2.

Steve gets to the competition and tries to settle his nerves.

Part 1 Part 2

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

The trip to Chicago was a hard one. As much as Steve just wanted Eddie to come it would have looked suspicious, so Wayne and Jeff came too. Steve had been hoping for time with Eddie alone in a big city where they could get lost and spend time just doing couple-y things, as it was a school event it would look suspicious if only Eddie came.

So he grudgingly accepted the support of Jeff and Wayne to see him go up against this region of the country’s best swimmers. If all went well, then they would all get scholarships and go on to nationals. If it didn’t, then they could at least say they made it this far.

When Steve got to the school he realized how much he really hadn’t thought the trip through. The school was sending the four of them and both coaches to Chicago in a fucking school bus. He would be bunking with Ezra while Lyle and Nick would share a room. Wayne grinned when he realized that he would get a hotel room all to himself. Eddie just groaned.

So the five hour drive to Chicago was dreadful instead of laughing with Eddie and Jeff, he ended up in an argument with Lyle whether Depche Mode was alternative rock or new age pop. Steve was firmly in the alt rock camp. He was about to throw hands when he realized that he had heard a similar argument between Brian and Jeff about whether hair bands could be considered metal or not. In the end? It didn’t matter because something could be two things at once.

Suddenly he started laughing and Lyle looked at him like he was crazy.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Yeah,” Steve said with a grin. “I just realized that the argument was pointless because they can both. Some of the stuff can be classified as new age pop while others are more alt rock. Why argue about it? We both like them. Who cares if we don’t agree what genre they are?”

Nick and Lyle glanced at each other while the coaches snickered to themselves. Ezra tilted his head and smiled fondly at Steve. Steve looked up to find Ezra’s eyes linger on him for a moment longer than necessary. He flushed under the sudden attention and ducked his head. When he looked up again, Ezra was talking to Lyle about The Cure.

All through the rest of the trip to Chicago, there were times Steve was sure Ezra was looking at but he didn’t dare look up to confirm it. If he hadn’t been with Eddie, Steve would have been sure that Ezra was flirting with him and sure he would have mocked his co-captain for being queer. Now though? Steve could be imagining the longing looks and blatant yearning. Because he had to be careful not to accidentally out himself before he graduated.

They got to the hotel and checked in. The first thing Ezra and the other boys wanted to do was check out hotel’s swimming pool, as if they weren’t going to spending enough time drenched in chlorinated water as it was. So Steve waved them off and said he was going to grab some dinner and catch up with them later.

He walked into the hotel dinning area and breathed a sigh of relief. There at one of the tables in the back was three of his favorite people, Eddie, Wayne, and Jeff. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the boys on the swim team. Because of course he did. He just didn’t consider them to be friends.

“Hey,” he called out and they wave him over, allowing him to slip past the hostess to their table.

He sat close to Eddie with Jeff and Wayne on the other side of the table, picking up a menu.

“You guys order yet?” he asked, distractedly.

Jeff shook his head. “We were waiting for you. Eddie ordered you a Hi-C though.”

Steve smiled at Eddie. “Thanks.”

Eddie shoved his hair in mouth as he looked away shyly. “It was the least I could do since you had to take the giant bread loaf from hell.”

Steve snorted. “It wasn’t as bad as it usually was as there was only six of us, but yeah. It was a hot as the devil’s anus.”

Jeff barked out a laugh. “Holy hell, dude. Warn a man, I could have been taking a drink.”

Wayne just rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, the waiter arrived and they ordered their meals.

They chatted happily until they finished their meals. Steve and Eddie slipped away for moment before Steve had to make it back to his room for “curfew.”

“I love having you here, sunshine,” Steve murmured, their bodies pressed together in one long line. “I feel I can take on the world because my real family is here rooting for me.”

Eddie kissed him gently on the lips. “And we’ll always will, baby. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

“Do you think Jeff would be pissed if we kicked him out of our hotel room tonight?” Eddie asked with a feral grin.

“Yes,” Steve said with a giggle. “He would be absolutely livid, you menace.”

Eddie pouted. “But, sweetheart...”

Steve kissed him fiercely. “I’m not say no to you fucking me into some horrible hotel mattress, all I’m saying is ask your best friend nicely to go site seeing with Uncle Wayne tomorrow afternoon after the first meet so I don’t have to look into those big brown puppy dog eyes of Jeff’s and tell him I went along with your madcap plan.”

Eddie cackled. “Yeah, all right. That’s fair.”

“I’ve got to get to my hotel room before Coach Hall does a room check,” Steve murmured. “I’ll see you at the meet?”

Eddie nodded. “Love you, baby.”

Steve kissed him again. “Love you, too, Eds.”

****

Steve got back to his hotel room just under the gun. He had just toed off his shoes when Coach Hall knocked on their door. Ezra stood up and let him in.

Coach Hall turned to Steve. “Don’t think I didn’t see you make a mad dash for your room, young man. Tomorrow I expect to see you in room before the curfew and not at the curfew. Do you understand me?”

Steve nodded. “Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“Our practice time is at 6am sharp,” he continued. “I will see both of you there on the dot.”

Both boys nodded.

Coach Hall eyed them warily, but nodded curtly. He left to meet Coach Burton who had been checking on Lyle and Nick out in the hallway.

Ezra closed the door behind him with satisfying thud. It wasn’t slammed, the coaches couldn’t claim that, but it sounded with a finality that pleased Steve to no end.

“What’s the point of having the curfew at ten if they’re going to make us be in our rooms before that?” Ezra asked. “It’s fucking ridiculous. You made it before curfew. That’s all that should matter.”

Steve blushed from the way Ezra defended him. “Thanks, man. I think they’re more nervous then we are about tomorrow. Hopefully after the individuals tomorrow they’ll feel better about our chances.”

Ezra shrugged. “I guess, but it’s still bullshit Hall took it out on you. Burton is usually the hardass, not Hall.”

Steve nodded. “Well, we better get to sleep before they start bitching about our lights being on.”

And as if on cue, they heard Burton yell, “Lights out!!”

Ezra and Steve looked at each other and then started to laugh.

They hurried to get into their pajamas and hit the light. They each crawled into their separate twin beds and laid there looking at the ceiling in the dark.

“Do you think you’ll be scouted for any of the major colleges?” Ezra asked, rolling over on his side to face Steve.

Steve tucked his arm under his head. “God I hope so,” he murmured. “Otherwise, I’m not getting in.”

Steve couldn’t see Ezra’s expression in the dark, but he could hear his confusion when he asked, “What do you mean?”

“My concussion pretty much tanked my grades,” Steve explained. “I am barely passing my classes and I have to get at least a C average to get into those schools. Which I’m not even close to hitting right now.”

“So getting to regionals is really important for you, huh?” Ezra asked. “I hope they scout you, man. You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” Steve mumbled. He thought about all the things he wanted to do with his life. And how he thought, not too long ago, that he would just work for his dad, get married, have six kids, and die.

But now? A future without Eddie doesn’t seem like any kind of future at all. He thought of Eddie’s band, wondering if they would make it. Maybe after high school instead of college the two of them should just runaway together.

It all seemed jumbled up in his head and with all those whirling thoughts, Steve drifted off to sleep.

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @counting-dollars-counting-stars @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades @mugloversonly @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @y4r3luv @acingthecounts @cryptid-system

[lau219]

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Part 3

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

“Is everything ok? You seem like something’s bothering you the last couple of days.”

Y/N looked over her shoulder as she stood in the large supply closet and saw Melissa assessing her with her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N answered her as she retrieved a few boxes of gauze and rubber gloves from the top shelf. As she turned around and made her way to the door, she continued as she and Melissa headed back out into the hallway. “Just feeling a little frazzled.”

“How come? Do you wanna talk about it?” Melissa took a few of the boxes from Y/N’s hands and helped her restock the cabinets as they moved from bay to bay in the ER wing.

“I just haven’t slept very well the last few nights,” Y/N shared. “It’s so hot lately and my AC is still broken. And then, when I was covering for Tammy at the kids’ baseball game a couple nights ago, Emmett had a stick up his butt about something and we got in some pointless argument.”

“Wait a second,” Melissa said as she stopped and turned around to face Y/N. “Emmett? As in your neighbor, Emmett?”

“Yeah,” Y/N replied, looking at her quizzically.

“I didn’t know his kids played on the baseball team,” Melissa said. “If I had known he was gonna be there, I would have volunteered to cover for Tammy. He is so hot!”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at Melissa’s expression.

“Well, after how things went, I would have been happy to let you take my place.”

“That’s easy for you to say. He’s your neighbor; you get to see him all the time.”

Once they’d moved into the next bay that was further away from the nurses’ station, Melissa spoke again, her voice just a little lower.

“One time, when I was working, he came in here with some sort of cut on his side, and he had to take his shirt off so that we could take care of it for him. I swear to God, I have never had such a hard time keeping my hands to myself!”

Y/N laughed again and shook her head.

“You cannot honestly tell me that you don’t think he’s gorgeous,” Melissa countered.

Y/N neither agreed nor disagreed.

“Try having him as your neighbor and then see how you feel. His looks only make up for so much when he’s waking you up at the crack of dawn every weekend with the lawn mower.”

“So you do think he’s hot!” Melissa smiled.

Y/N just rolled her eyes. Of course, despite their rocky relationship, she never failed to internally swoon whenever she saw Emmett, but Melissa didn’t need to know that.

“And isn’t he a mechanic?” Melissa continued, now really just talking to herself. “God, can you imagine what he can do with his hands?”

It was something Y/N had thought about more times than she’d ever admit. But again, something no one else needed to know.

“Ok, that’s enough,” she said as she turned and exited the bay. “I’m worried I’m gonna have to hose you down.”

“Wait, so what were you guys fighting about?” Melissa asked as they returned to the nurses’ station.

“He got all bent out of shape because I bought his kids something to eat at the game,” Y/N explained. “He was running late, and they were hungry.”

“Why would that make him mad?”

“I don’t know, but before I knew it, he was demanding to reimburse me a dollar fifty and accusing me of showing him up in front of his kids, or some nonsense like that. I’ve actually never seen him get that worked up before.”

Melissa raised her eyebrow.

“Maybe he was embarrassed,” she offered. “Men don’t like us to think they need any kind of help or that they aren’t prepared.”

“I bought them a couple of hot dogs; I didn’t donate a kidney,” Y/N replied.

“Doesn’t matter,” Melissa said.

Y/N sighed.

“I was just trying to take care of the boys. But, of course, we just ended up fighting. That’s how it always goes. But this was especially tense.”

Melissa smiled mischievously.

“All I know is that if he was my neighbor,” she said, “I’d do anything I possibly could to get on his good side.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes again.

————————————————

That afternoon, Y/N had just placed a vase of fresh flowers on her kitchen island when there was a knock on her front door. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked through the kitchen towards her entryway. When she opened the door, she found Henry and Max standing on the welcome mat.

“Hi guys,” she said as she smiled at them. “What are you up to?”

Henry looked a little embarrassed as he spoke.

“Hi, umm...sorry, but we just got home from camp and I don’t have my house key. I think I left it in my pocket in my clothes from yesterday. My dad never gave you a key to our house or anything, did he?”

“Oh,” Y/N replied as her smile faded slightly. “No, he didn’t. Did you call him to see if he can come home quick and let you in?”

Henry blushed.

“I...umm...I left the cell phone he gave me in my pocket, too. It’s not like the phones my friends have – it’s old and I’m only allowed to use it in emergencies, so I don’t always remember it.”

Y/N slowly nodded.

“Well, you can use my phone. Do you wanna call him?”

Henry shifted awkwardly on his feet, and then Max suddenly spoke up.

“Henry doesn’t want to call him because he already forgot the key once last week. He thinks Dad’ll be mad if he has to come home to let us in the house again.”

Y/N tried not to smile in amusement at the pride on Max’s face from telling on Henry, or the glare Henry shot Max for ratting him out.

“Well,” Y/N began. “How about this? Why don’t you guys camp out here until your dad gets home? You can leave your stuff here while you play outside, or you’re welcome to hang out in the living room and watch TV.”

“Really?” Henry looked at her with appreciative relief.

“Yeah, but let’s leave your dad a note on the door so that he knows where you are when he gets home.”

Henry nodded.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled.

After taping a note to their front door, the boys came back and spilled their stuff on the floor of the living room. They then proceeded to make themselves comfortable on the couch, watching a movie while Y/N went about her afternoon, occasionally checking on them. She’d made them a snack when they’d first arrived, but when 5:30 p.m. rolled around and Emmett still wasn’t home, she checked in with Henry.

“What time does your dad usually get home?” she asked him.

“Usually by now, but he’s had to work late a lot the last few weeks.”

“What do you do for dinner when that happens?”

“We have stuff at home that I can make, or he brings something with him when he comes home. He calls me on the cell phone to tell me what we should do.”

As soon as he said that, the color drained from Henry’s face as he realized that Emmett may have been trying to call him on the phone he’d forgotten. He looked at Y/N helplessly.

“It’s ok,” she shook her head to encourage him not to worry. “You can call him right now using my phone.”

“Could...could you do it?” Henry asked. “I don’t want him to be mad at me. I mean, he never gets mad, really, but I already forgot once last week and...” he trailed off.

The thought of calling Emmett suddenly had Y/N as uneasy as Henry looked. Not only had she and Emmett never talked on the phone before, but they hadn’t spoken to each other since the baseball game. It would be so odd to call him. But how could she say no to Henry?

“Sure, don’t worry; I’ll call him. Do you have his number memorized, or should I call the shop?”

Fortunately, Henry knew Emmett’s number, and he wrote it down for Y/N before returning to the living room. The piece of paper in one hand and her phone in the other, Y/N dialed the number and waited for the ring tone, her heart pounding. Why was she so nervous?

After a couple of rings, Emmett picked up the call.

“Hello?” she heard his voice on the other end of the line.

She cleared her throat.

“Emmett? Hi, it’s...it’s Y/N.”

Clearly taken aback, he paused a beat before speaking.

“Oh, uhh...”

“Um, I just wanted to let you know that the boys are over here at my house. Henry forgot his house key and the cell phone, and so I told them they could hang out here until you get home. He didn’t want you to get upset with him, but he was afraid you might have been trying to call him to tell him when you’d be home.”

“Uh, I was just about to call him, actually,” Emmett replied, still sounding a bit taken aback.

“Oh, ok, well, when do you think you’ll be home?” Y/N asked him. “I can make them some dinner if you’ll still be a while. Henry said you’ve been having to work late recently.”

As soon as she said that, she regretted it. She worried it would trigger the same reaction he had the other day at the baseball game – that he’d think she was trying to show him up. But to her relief, his tone was calm as he answered her.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll be home in about 30 minutes. I’ll bring something with me; you don’t have to make them anything.”

“Are you sure?” she asked him. “I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be a half hour.”

“Ok,” Y/N replied. Then she lowered her voice slightly so that the boys wouldn’t hear her. “Henry feels really bad because this already happened once before. Don’t be too upset with him, ok? It was an honest mistake, and they’ve both been angels the whole time they’ve been here.”

“Ok...yeah,” Emmett answered her. There was a brief silence before he spoke once more. “Thanks. I’ll be there soon.”

​“Ok,” she replied. “Umm...bye.”

​Then she ended the call and set the phone down on the counter, letting out a deep breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

Part 4

@nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @xsweetcatastrophe @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @hannibellector @devotedlyshadowytheorist @aphroditeslover11 @natalie--rushman @garrison-girl-08 @fuseburner @neonpurplestars89-blog @strangeanchorbird

[hero-israel]

In keeping with the whole idea of double standards for Israel, I have no idea how it is possible that Israel can be an apartheid state and yet Jordan isn’t? In either case I don’t think apartheid is the right word but if anything there seems to be a better argument for Jordan having apartheid against their Palestinian population then Israel does (seeing as Gaza and West Bank are not actually part of Israel and Arab citizens in Israel have equal rights)

Discussing how arbitrarily Jordan treats Palestinians just forces one to confront how embarrassingly, transparently fake a country Jordan is. I don't like to "go there" because it's pointless, obsolete politics - Jordan should have been Palestine but it isn't, and we have to move on. But since you asked:

If you met them on the street in 1946, could anyone identify differences between Palestinians and Jordanians that would even rise to the level of importance as those between Vermonters and New Hampshirites? Or would it have been even more meaningless and made-up than that? There are something like 1.5 million Palestinians with full Jordanian citizenship today - but some of those with full citizenship have to live in refugee camps depending on when they moved in and where they came from. Jordan never gave citizenship to Gaza Palestinians, only ex-West-Bankers, so there are like 600,000 Palestinians in Jordan who are treated as second-class compared to others of the exact same national identity. And of course, in 1988 Jordan agreed with Arafat that the best way to handle the Palestinian issue was to maximize their isolation, desperation, and dependency, so it rug-pulled its citizenship from all the Palestinians in the West Bank itself - thus de-naturalizing 20% of all Jordanian citizens overnight, due to nothing those people had ever done and with nothing having changed in the Israeli administration of the West Bank.

And I believe we've already hit the centenary of Jordan's laws forbidding Jews from ever living there or having citizenship.

It's the fakest country in the world not located on an abandoned ocean military platform and it would absolutely be a perfect candidate for an "apartheid" investigation if anyone tossing that term around was actually serious about it.

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova begins to notice how dedicated Coriolanus is to helping his tribute, which greatly displeases her. But her anger at the young Snow is temporarily forgotten about when one of her classmates dies in her arms. (i’m using a combination of the movie and book version of the events that occur in this chapter)

Warnings: spoilers for TBOSAS, death, mentions of violent urges, mentions of blood, crying, one swear word

Bellova sighed inwardly, drawing a rose with a fountain pen on her notebook where she was supposed to be writing down Dean Highbottom’s words. The lecture was pointless in her opinion. She knew everything the dean was talking about by heart, and she was alive when the events being discussed were occurring. 

She would never admit it to him, but she wished Coriolanus hadn’t skipped class to accompany his tribute. It was unusual for him, the star student, to miss a lecture, even one of Highbottom’s. The competition between them made the dean’s nonsensical ramblings almost bearable.

Then, as if on cue, a breathless and sweaty Coriolanus burst into the lecture hall. All eyes turned to him, shocked at his disheveled appearance.

“Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow. Chief amongst them, endangering a Capitol student,” Dean Highbottom said, not looking up from his papers. 

“What?” Coriolanus said, baffled. “Who?”

“You.” Highbottom’s response made Bellova roll her eyes. He was constantly looking for reasons to target the young Snow. “I’m moving for the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor immediately.”

“You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away,” Coriolanus argued, standing at his seat next to Bellova but not sitting down.

“I’ll add insubordination as well,” the dean said smugly.

“Holding her hand, Coryo? Introducing her to people?” Arachne said, clearly disgusted. “You make it look as if we’re one and the same as those animals.”

Bellova couldn’t help but agree silently with her. She hated that Coriolanus had done so much to promote Lucy Gray, even going so far as to touch her. Had he forgotten that he was of the purest Capitol blood, only fit to associate with those who also held that status?

“Coriolanus didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.”

Bellova had to grip her textbook to refrain from throwing something at the young Plinth. He was being foolish, saying such things in the presence of the dean and the other mentors.

“I don’t need your help, Sejanus,” Coriolanus snapped.

“That the tributes are human beings. Just like us,” Sejanus continued. “That’s why nobody wants to watch the Games. It’s because people know deep down that winning a war ten years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights.”

“Shut up, Sejanus, please,” Bellova murmured through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, Dr. Gaul appeared, startling many of the mentors. Bellova looked at her, setting down her fountain pen.

“Snow fell down in the cage,” she began, smiling crookedly. “It fell down in the cage but it landed…”

“On stage,” Coriolanus finished.

The doctor grinned with delight. “You’re good at games. Maybe one day, you’ll be a Gamemaker like me.”

“If the Games continue at all,” Highbottom added.

“Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow’s in that zoo. And I came here to ask your star mentor a question: what are The Hunger Games for?”

This sparked an argument between Dr. Gaul, Highbottom, Coriolanus, and Sejanus. Bellova listened, intrigued. This was the most interesting thing that had happened during one of Highbottom’s lectures since the time Persephone and Arachne almost ripped each other’s heads off over a petty dispute. 

Coriolanus then proposed an idea, about making the games more “personal” for Capitol citizens. 

“We need them to invest,” he said. “And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets. Look, I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena. But if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win people’s attention.”

Dr. Gaul looked at him. “I’d like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow.”

“Wait,” Clemensia Dovecote spoke up. “You mean you might actually use his ideas?”

“If it’ll help the ratings, why not?” Dr. Gaul responded.

“Coriolanus and I are class partners, Dr. Gaul,” Clemensia said hastily. “We do all of our assignments together.”

‘Someone’s desperate for approval,’ Bellova thought, giving Clemensia a brief look of annoyance.

Dr. Gaul laughed, sending a visible chill through many of the mentors. “It’ll be an interesting test.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the lecture ended, the mentors went straight to the cafeteria. They were buzzing with excitement at the idea that Dr. Gaul may listen to their suggestions. Having an idea approved by her could do wonders for their future careers.

Bellova stood in line holding a tray, eyeing the mint chocolate fudge in the dessert section. She loved mint. It reminded her of wintertime, her favorite season.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Coriolanus tapping her on the shoulder. 

“What do you want?” she asked.

Coriolanus scoffed. “Your perfect manners never cease to amaze me.”

Bellova sneered. “Funny. Now get to the point.”

“I’m going to sneak some food out of here and give it to Lucy Gray at the Zoo. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. You haven’t met your tribute yet, after all.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, putting a few slices of bread on her plate. “Breaking the rules again? After Highbottom just threatened to write you up for insubordination?”

“You were the one who told me to do anything it takes to succeed.”

“Fair enough,” she sighed. “Fine, I’ll come with you. I’ll give my tribute some bread while we’re there.”

Coriolanus smirked. “Who’s breaking rules now?”

Bellova gave him a look. “I’ll see you at the Zoo, Coryo.” With that, she grabbed a stack of mint chocolate fudge slices and walked off to join her friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon, Coriolanus, Bellova, and a handful of the other mentors met up at the Capitol Zoo. They immediately made their way to the monkey exhibit, where the tributes were being held. Nodding at the Peacekeepers surrounding the area, they stood inches away from the bars keeping them separated from the district children.

Bellova scanned the exhibit and eventually spotted her tribute in the corner. “Velvereen!” she called. The girl made her way over to the bars, looking at Bellova warily.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m your mentor, Bellova. Here, I brought some bread for you.” She held out the napkin to Velvereen, who took it instantly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to visit earlier. I have a busy schedule.”

Velvereen said nothing, focusing on wolfing down the bread. 

“So,” Bellova continued. “Have you talked to any of the other tributes?”

“Not besides Facet,” she said, pointing to the male District 1 tribute. “Oh, and the singer girl. The one with the strange dress.”

Bellova glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was talking very intimately with Coriolanus. She fought back a look of irritation. Lucy Gray was certainly a spectacle, but she was clearly deranged. She couldn’t understand why Coriolanus was so fascinated with her, other than her extremely strange behavior. 

“I see,” Bellova said. “Well, I promise to visit more often if I can. My advice to you is to make allies. The more that you have, the better your chance of survival is.” 

Velvereen nods. “I know. That’s what my father told me.” 

Bellova gave her a small smile. “It’s good to know that you have a basic understanding of strategy.”

She looked to her left, and saw Arachne taunting her tribute with a glass bottle. “Arachne!“ she hissed. “What the hell are you doing?“

“Shut up, Bellova!” Arachne snapped. “Mind your own business.”

“Fine!” Bellova snapped back. She and Velvereen continued discussing the Games. She was thankful that her tribute was willing to converse, unlike several, who refused to interact with their mentors. But as much as she tried to focus on her tribute, she felt her eyes wander to Coriolanus and Lucy Gray, who seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. It seemed as if her odd charms were beginning to rub off on the young Snow as well. If she hadn’t been surrounded by so many Capitol citizens, she would’ve been tempted to grab Lucy Gray by the hair and slam her head against the metal bars of the enclosure. 

Her violent fantasy was abruptly halted by a chorus of screams. 

Brandy, Arachne’s tribute, had grabbed her mentor by the neck and snatched the bottle from her. “Help!” Arachne shrieked, trying desperately to escape her grasp. Before anyone could do anything, Brandy smashed the bottle against the metal bars of the cage, and used the serrated edge to stab her in the neck. 

“No, no, no!” Coriolanus screamed, rushing towards Arachne, who lay on the ground, convulsing in pain as the crowd screamed frantically around them. He gathered the girl in his arms, putting his hand to her throat, trying to stop the blood flow. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Hold on. Hold on!”

Arachne gasped for air, blood oozing from her neck. Bellova crouched down at her side, turning her head to face her.  “Hey, look at me. Hey, hold on! It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ll get help, I promise.” 

“Somebody help us, please!” Coriolanus yelled at the crowd. 

Chaos erupted, making the whole scene a blur. Brandy was shot by Peacekeepers, falling to the ground with a thud. The other tributes were screaming wildly, ducking away to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. 

Coriolanus and Bellova were eventually dragged away from Arachne, who was lifted onto a stretcher. They were escorted by Peacekeepers out of the Zoo and back onto Academy grounds. Once inside a quiet hallway, they collapsed onto the ground side by side, finally able to process what had just happened.

Bellova, who almost never showed any emotion besides smugness, anger, or contempt in Coriolanus’s presence, began to cry. Her head swam with terror and disgust, the sight of Arachne’s slit throat burned into her mind. She was never close to the girl, she found her to be shallow and hated her whining. But they had grown up together. She was part of the Capitol’s finest, meaning they had attended several events together over the years and visited each other’s homes regularly. And now, she was gone. 

“I should’ve done more to stop her,” she said, voice trembling uncontrollably. “She was being stupid, and I just let her keep doing it! Her blood is on my fucking hands! It’s all my fault!”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Coriolanus spoke up. “Blame the district girl. She was the one who did it.” 

“I know, I know,” Bellova cried, black mascara running down her face, ruining her perfect face of makeup. “But she’s dead too. I can’t even avenge Arachne by killing her. There’s nothing I can do.”

Coriolanus, who had finally stopped shaking, pulled Bellova into his side gently. He put his arm around her, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder. “You’re safe now. This won’t ever happen again, the Capitol will tighten security tenfold.”

Without thinking, Bellova leaned into Coriolanus’s grasp. He patiently let her cry into his shoulder, while he tried to help steady her breathing. The two young students clung to each other, forgetting all of their past grievances in that moment. 

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other, as if they were stunned at their own actions. Neither of them were affectionate towards each other, or affectionate people in general. Yet here they were, sitting on the cold marble floor of the Academy, comforting each other. 

Bellova cleared her throat. “We should probably get out of here. Let the administrators know that we’re going home early.” 

Coriolanus nodded, standing up and holding out his hand to help her up. Bellova took it, smiling ever-so slightly. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Of course,” Coriolanus replied. 

They informed the staff that they’d be departing early. Nobody tried to stop them, understanding that they’d just been through a traumatic event. They walked down the steps of the Academy’s main building, standing near the curb.

Finally, Bellova broke the silence. “Let me take you back to your apartment. My driver will be here any minute.” Before Coriolanus could protest, she said, “You’re in no condition to walk that far. I know you always say you walk to and from school to clear your mind, but just let me do this for you. Please?”

“Fine,” Coriolanus said reluctantly. 

As they sat in the back of Bellova’s chauffeur’s car, neither of them said a word to each other. The death of Arachne had clearly rattled them both to the core, but they couldn’t bring themselves to talk about it. It still all felt like a nightmare. 

Bellova took a small compact and handkerchief out of her bag, using the cloth to wipe away the black stains her tears had left behind. She pressed some foundation over it, erasing any evidence of a breakdown. 

Coriolanus watched her, realizing that he’d likely never see her this vulnerable again. He was still surprised that she didn’t slap him for embracing her. They certainly had a unique relationship. Often times they were at each other’s throats, occasionally they exchanged words of advice and encouragement. But nevertheless, he didn’t want to see her so hurt. She was…a friend? A companion? Something other than a stranger, for sure. 

They pulled up outside of Coriolanus’s apartment complex, and Bellova’s driver opened the door for him. 

Coriolanus turned to Bellova, who was staring down at her hands. “Thank you for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bellova said, looking up to give him a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Coryo.”

“See you tomorrow, Bellova.”

And with one last nod, Coriolanus shut the door behind him, returning to his run-down apartment where Tigris and Grandma’am were waiting.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy

Author’s Note: This chapter was a lot longer than the last one lolll I really liked writing this part because things become a lot more intense. Let me know in the comments what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Apologies if this comes across as a bit of a rant, don't mean it to be, but I have seen some really bad takes over the last few days. That being said these are my own opinions, no obligation to agree or disagree with them, I am just sharing my own opinions. Also some of these opinions may or may not be unpopular depending on what side you are on, I am fully team black so these views are in support of that.

Daemon is not a morally black character, he's a morally grey character, or at least he is supposed to be, he is literally described as being equal parts light and dark. So I'm getting tired of all these posts talking about how its ok for Daemon fans to like him but they should accept that he is a villain/morally black character. No he isn't either of those things and so when we complain that the show cut all his good moments and we are frustrated that they seem to have kept only his darker moments, its not because we don't thing he shouldn't do bad things, its because by not keeping him balanced and keeping those lighter moments as well they've mischaracterised him. The fact that people can sit there and make these posts saying he's morally black is just proof of how much they mischaracterised him in the show. I haven't even read the book but even I saw that quote going around about him being equal parts light and dark before the show came out, the promotion of his character often talked about this characterisation of him and it was what made me excited to see his character when I knew nothing else about him. So yeah its annoying and frustrating when the show didn't fully deliver on this.

Rhaenyra's eldest sons did not usurp Driftmark from Baela and Rhaena because Baela and Rhaena never stood to inherit it. Laena was never heir to Driftmark, Laenor was. So this argument that I keep seeing being pushed that Rhaenyra is trying to steal Driftmark from the girls is pointless and not true at all. The petition Rhaenyra puts to the crown is against Vaemond inheriting Driftmark over her sons, the girls had nothing to do with it, they themselves never even put themselves forward as claimants. The closest either of the girls came to inheriting Driftmark was when Rhaenys, in private, asked Corlys to name Baela heir. Corlys immediately shut it down and stuck to his decision to have Lucerys as his heir. So no Driftmark was never stolen from Baela or Rhaena because they were never at any point named heirs to it, you can't steal something from someone when it was never theirs to start with.

As for the marriage proposal Rhaenyra suggests between her sons and Laena's daughters, again this was not Rhaenyra trying to stop Baela and Rhaena from getting Driftmark (because they never stood to inherit driftmark) as I have seen some argue. The reason for the proposal was to smooth things over with Rhaenys and win back her support because Rhaenys believed Rhaenyra had Laenor killed so she could marry Daemon. It was also a very very good deal. Within a generation the Velaryons would have their blood on both the iron and the driftmark throne.

Rhaenyra was in an impossible situation and that is why she has 'bastards'. Yes I am putting it in quote marks because I don't consider them bastards as Viserys publically announced them as trueborn heirs and in doing so made them legitimate, I've made a whole post on it already so I won't cover that argument here but anyway. Her and Laenor tried but didn't succeed at having a child that was biologically their own. So Rhaenyra used Harwin to produce her heirs. But both Rhaenyra and Laenor considered those boys as their own, its not like Rhaenyra was trying to pull the wool over Laenor's eyes, he was in on it and he agreed to it, as did Harwin. Rhaenyra was under a huge amount of pressure to produce heirs, it was consider her duty, what else was she supposed to do? It was her blood that was important not Laenor's in this case, so as long as by blood they were hers that was the most important thing. I saw some say that she just should have not married Laenor, which honestly wtf, because she didn't have a choice. She had to marry Laenor because her father, the king, commanded her to. They both agreed to do their duty then see other people, so I am confused by the claims made that Rhaenyra only cared about her own pleasure and not her duty, like please she took her duty as heir and to the prophecy her father told her about very seriously. If the, she shouldn't have married Laenor, argument wasn't bad enough I then saw some saying well she just shouldn't have had children and should've named Alicent's children her heirs and everyone would have won. Umm, yeah, no, its not that simple. Like Rhaenyra had a duty to produce heirs, like it was made very clear in the show right from the first episode that a good King/Queen provides the realm with heirs, that's the society in which they live. The whole brother as an heir thing is a back up but Rhaenyra would still be expected by the houses and the people to produce as many heirs as possible. If Rhaenyra had chosen not to have any children the realm would only consider that proof that she wasn't fit to rule, it just would have given her a whole other set of political problems to deal with. I mean its the whole reason why Viserys was pressured into taking a second wife, he had heirs, Rhaenyra and Daemon, but this wasn't considered enough he was still under pressure to produce more. For the realm heirs meant security, for the royal house it meant ensuring the throne stayed in their family, continued with their own line. They live in a time when people died really easily of infection and disease, they didn't have modern medicine like we do, babies and children were particularly vulnerable, as was shown by Aemma talking about how many children they had lost. Which is why Aemma and Viserys tried time and again to have more children, why Alicent and Viserys had several children, why Rhaenyra has multiple children, because it is expected of them, because its considered their duty, the more heirs the better. So no Rhaenyra couldn't just shrug and go, oh well guess I won't have any children, my brothers can just inherit after me. I mean you have to think about the way these people think, that possibility would never have even entered Rhaenyra's head, or anyone else's for that matter. All Rhaenyra knows, due to the society she grew up in, is that as heir herself she has to produce heirs of her own, not rely on her father's other children to continue the line. When she realised she couldn't have children with Laenor she came up with another solution, with Laenor in the know and agreeing with it. Yet there are some out there that seem to think this makes Rhaenyra a villain or that she had bastards just because she is privileged and she does whatever she wants and thinks the rules don't apply to her. She wasn't any of these things, she was just desperate and lets be real just as trapped by duty as Alicent, just in a different way.

Rhaenyra's situation with her three sons is in no way comparable to Cersei's and her children. First of Rhaenyra is of the ruling house, it's her blood that is royal and her blood that matters, her boys all still have royal blood. In Cersei's case it was Robert with the royal blood not Cersei so the fact that her children only have her blood is what makes her children's heritage a problem more than them being illegitimate. Rhaenyra did not lie to Laenor or try to deceive him into thinking they were his by blood. So when he calls his sons his heirs he does so knowing that biologically they are not his. If he had lived to take the driftmark throne and he named Luke his heir he would have done so knowing that they didn't share blood. Robert had no clue that Joffrey wasn't his kid, Cersei did go out of her way to deceive him into thinking they were his, including getting him drunk and that getting into bed with him so he would think they had laid together and so he wouldn't question the birth of her children. So when Robert named Joffrey his heir he did so without any knowledge that it wasn't his son. Sorry but these two situations are completely different so you can't use one to justify another.

So the next thing I need to talk about is this, people don't seem to understand how bad it is that Alicent was trying to out Rhaenyra's sons, or why it was that she was pretty much the only person to do so. If Alicent got her way and Rhaenyra's children were acknowledged as bastards publicly then not just Rhaenyra and Harwin, but those three innocent boys could all be killed. That's the potential consequence of Alicent's actions, of her oh so righteous mission to reveal the truth. She is told on numerous occasions how dire the consequences of her insinuations are and yet she continues with them anyway, against the king's orders. On top of that she also makes public insinuations about Laenor's sexuality which again could get him killed. So Alicent is out here risking the lives of Rhaenyra's entire family and yet I'm supposed to support her and feel sympathy for her? No sorry, if everyone else also knows and keeps their mouths shut then so too can Alicent. I mean take Corlys and Rhaenys for example they too know that biologically those boys aren't their son's and they talk about it, but they do it in private. Even when Rhaenys suggests having Baela as heir she says they'll tell people they are honouring Laena's memory as an explanation to why Luke wouldn't be heir, she doesn't suggest hey lets tell everyone Rhaenyra's kids are illegitimate and so we're naming Baela heir, because she knows the consequence of that and whatever resentment she has towards Rhaenyra she won't risk those boys lives because of it. Apparently Alicent has no such qualms when it comes to those boys safety. People act like Alicent trying to out Rhaenyra and her children is some righteous mission but lets be real she's doing it because it serves her own interests. If Rhaenyra and her sons are exiled or killed then its her children who become the next heirs, its got nothing to do with right and wrong or holding Rhaenyra responsible for actions or whatever. Also this is kind of a side note but the thing I also find frustrating about Alicent's little crusade is that she can't know for sure. Like yes I know we as the audience know and everyone suspects it but nobody in that world can know for sure. It's like that story Viserys tells when Alicent brings it up to him, about the black mare, the silver stallion and the chestnut foal. Alicent tries to prove Viserys' point that genetics are weird, by asking if he was there during the act and if not how can he be sure. Here's the thing, the same can be applied to Alicent, unless she was there in the room when Rhaenyra's children were conceived then how can she know for sure that they aren't Laenor's, I mean the guy does have Baratheon blood on his mother's side which could explain the boys features.

The King's word is law and the King can't do whatever the hell he likes are both true statements. I am constantly seeing this argument made that well Viserys is the king so he can do this and he can choose to do that and its all bull, sorry but I think the show makes it clear that whilst yes Viserys as King has alot of power and his word is law, but that doesn't mean he can do what he likes without any consequence. You know which kings do whatever they like, the bad ones. Joffrey, The Mad King, Maegor the Cruel, (spoiler warning for got and fire and blood) and Joffrey was killed by a member of one of his houses, Lady Olenna at his wedding to her granddaughter, The Mad King was killed by his own King's Guard and Maegor was found with his slits wrist on his own throne with no one knowing who exactly might have killed him because he pissed off that many people. So this idea that just because he is King he can do whatever he wants is so false. People really want to paint Viserys out to be this terrible abuser of Alicent, and look I think Viserys made a lot of poor decisions but I don't think you can make the claim that he abused Alicent. Now Alicent's father I could see an argument made for him being abusive to her, he pretty much pimped his daughter out. But here's the truth of it, Viserys was also a victim of Otto's schemes, he was also a piece that Otto used in his political games, he was also manipulated and gaslit by Otto. I feel like some are so much on the lets hate all men bandwagon that they just see every one of them as this evil monster out for their own ends, when really they are all just imperfect characters, some are worse than others but Viserys is far from the worst of them. I've seen people say that Viserys had a choice whether to get remarried or not and actually no he didn't, not really. We saw what the consequence of him rejecting Laena's hand was, Viserys spent the next couple of episodes trying to fix the political problems that followed and the time span of that was four years. The houses of the realm all have resources that the crown needs, whether that be soldiers, ships or gold etc. If the King doesn't keep them happy they can withhold these resources or plot against the King and well then the crown is kind of screwed. So really the only real choice Viserys had when it came to remarrying was whether it should be to the 12 year old Laena, a child, or the 15 year old Alicent which whether we like it or not in their society at 15 Alicent was considered of age and a woman and not a child. So to be fair given the choice between the two it makes sense that he chose Alicent, one because she was a woman grown (in their eyes) and two because for the last 6 months she had been coming to his bed chambers and having talks with him and helped him through his grief. I think its clear that Alicent suffered through that marriage but I don't think the culprit for that is Viserys, its Otto that put them both in that position for his own greed and ambitions. I don't think Viserys was particularly happy in that marriage either but it comes back to what I said above and the expectation to provide heirs. And lets be real here Viserys let Alicent get away with a lot of stuff that other Kings would have likely punished her severely for. Viserys just wanted to keep the peace, like him or not, he was far from a monstrous tyrant some seem to paint him as.

There is no prove that Rhaenyra ever actually intended to kill her siblings when she ascended the throne. I see this one quite a bit, that Alicent and TG had to usurp the throne because otherwise Rhaenyra would have no choice but to kill them as they were a challenge to her claim. But we are never given any indication that Rhaenyra planned to hurt her siblings and there were other solutions, she could ask them to publicly bend the knee and swear fealty to her, if other houses rose up in Aegon's or the other children's name then she could put them in a position where they can not inherit for example the Night's Watch or a position of honour as a Queen's Guard or as a Maester. Or she could have sent them into exile if it really came down to it. I mean even after they usurp her throne Rhaenyra still shows restraint and is concerned with the blood that would be shed if they go to war so I don't think it likely that she would have just killed them if they didn't try to challenge her.

The animosity between TG and TB's children is mostly Criston Cole's fault but also somewhat Alicent and Otto's fault. I mean Cole really pitted those boys against each other in the training yard, matching Aegon against Jace despite it clearly being an unfair match and also encouraging Aegon to be cruel in his fight against Jace, its no environment for kids to learn in. Instead it just fuelled the animosity between the boys. Add to that Alicent whispering to them about how Rhaenyra and by extension her boys are threats to them and its not surprising that the boys don't get along. When it comes to Alicent though I do think alot of her fear was instilled in her by her father and that is then trickling down into her own children. Otto tells Alicent that Rhaenyra will kill her children and puts that fear in her and then in turn Alicent passes that same message to her children, that the blacks are the enemy. Also I see alot of people claiming that Luke is a bully, that seems to be the justification for Aemond killing Luke, its well Luke took out Aemond's eye and bullied him about not having a dragon. Here's the thing though we only really see one instance of Jace and Luke bullying Aemond and that is the instance with the pig and it was clearly actually instigated by Aegon, the same Aegon who would grow up to enjoy watching children fight each other, which I again blame Cole for, more trickle effect in my opinion. We actually see a lot more scenes of the greens antagonising and bullying the blacks than the other way around. And I know what some will say, but Luke took Aemond's eye out. Which yes, and that's terrible but if you actually watch that fight scene again, the black's children are upset about their mother's dragon and are expressing that, the only one who was actually hurling insults and calling people names is Aemond, whilst the others are fearful Aemond is enjoying it. And before anyone comes at me, no I am not saying that its ok that Aemond lost his eye, nothing about that whole fight was ok and I mostly once again blame the adults, like was no one watching these kids, oh wait just remembered t was supposed to be Cole watching the kids that night so I guess I'm just going to blame him for this one too. The point is though we see Aemond, knock Jace twice in the training yard unprovoked, we see Aemond calling them names etc in that fight with the others, we see Aegon using Jace and Luke to bully his little brother, we see Aegon making vulgar comments to Jace and Baela at the dinner after their betrothal, Aemond making toasts insinuating the boys illegitimacy even after everyone had made up and causing a fight to break out. When it comes to Luke we see him, play the prank with the pig, slash Aemond's eye whilst trying to stop him from bashing Jace's head in with a rock and smile at a pig, which we don't even know for sure if he was smiling at the pig as you can hear Rhaena laughing next to him and so he could have been laughing at something she said. I'm not really sure those last two would count seeing as one was in smile defence and the other may or may not have even been about the pig, even if it was Luke just laughed and then turned away he didn't actually say anything. So like given how much more we see Aemond and Aegon antagonising Jace and Luke, whose the real bully?

Anyway think I've ranted on long enough. I've just done a rewatch of the first season so I've got a lot of thoughts currently. Might make some posts about them, we'll see.

[panda-noosh]

commissions open! pm for details.

———

coriolanus snow doesn't give up easily.

he's never been able to. his position in life has never given him the room to throw his hands up and say, "i give up." his world would crumble if he did that, dragging his entire family with him. he can't let that happen.

maybe that's why he finds it impossible to give up on you.

so many people have told him that you're not worth it, and not necessarily in a rude way. nobody is under any illusion that you are anything short of phoenomenal, the type of person to drop everything for those you love. all these people tell coriolanus you're not worth it, because he's broken you before, and nobody believes he can come back from that. the attempts would just be pointless.

once, coriolanus may have agreed. in fact, there's been multiple times where he has agreed, days when you won't even look in his direction during classes, when you scurry past him in the hallways like he has some sort of horrendous, contagious disease. despite this, he can't put his feelings to rest. he can't give up. his world would crumble if he did that.

he sits in the canteen of the academy, and so do you. he's starving, and he's stacked his plate full of all the foods the chefs have provided, but he can't focus on his plate long enough to start eating, not when you're say only feet away, trying everything in your power to avoid his piercing gaze. oh, how easy it would be to just walk over to you - you'd be cornered. coriolanus knows you well enough to know you would never make a scene amongst your peers, not in the way you did during that final argument.

yes, it would be easy, but that's not the way coriolanus does things. he's eager, maybe a little desperate, but he loves you enough that he wouldn't put you through that humiliation.

so instead he watches from the sidelines as you laugh at something jener has said, all massive smiles and thrown back heads, all fake. everyone in the academy is fake, and you know that. it's a topic you and coriolanus have discussed in plenty, cuddled under a blanket, you calling him 'cor' because everyone calls him 'coryo' and you never wanted to be just like everyone else.

oh, he misses you so much.

the memory breaks him enough that he looks away; he'll try again tomorrow.

"all alone again, coryo?"

sejanus appears out of nowhere, but coriolanus doesn't make his irritation clear. though he would much rather be alone, he nods to the empty chair in front of him and says, "i was waiting for you. where's your food?"

sejanus sits. "i haven't got time to eat. professor crildum only let us go two minutes ago, says we need to use all our free time making sure we know the codex off by heart." he rolls his eyes. "i swear, i haven't properly slept in weeks."

coriolanus has to bite into a cold hashbrown to keep from saying anything that would ruin their friendship. it usually never bothers him when his rich capital friends mention their surface level struggles, but he's been irritable lately, less mentally equipped to deal with it. there's been multiple times this week where he's just wanted to tell them all to shut up, that he doesn't even remember the last time he slept on an actual mattress, let alone had a good nights sleep. coriolanus hasn't properly slept in weeks because another resident in his apartment complex is dying of pneumonia, and the sound of his cousins stomach growling keeps waking him up. he would love for his biggest issue to be the looming doom of school work.

he sips his water. "i slept like a baby. it's good for the mind."

sejanus rolls his eyes, pinching a sausage off coriolanus's plate. coriolanus isn't bothered; he finds himself looking back over at you like you're some kind of magnet, laughing away with your friends, friends who have probably told you countless times to stay away from him.

he banishes the thought as soon as it appears; your friends aren't the issue, and he knows that. he's come to terms with the fact he messed up, but that doesn't mean he can ignore the hatred he feels for anyone who tarnishes his name even more to you.

sejanus pops into his field of vision. "hello. still with us?"

coriolanus snaps his gaze back to his plate.

sejanus sighs, leaning back to get a good look at the warmth crawling up coriolanus's face. "do i even need to ask?"

"no," coriolanus snaps. "you do not."

sejanus looks over his shoulder; you're standing up, dragging your coat with you. he looks back at coriolanus and smiles. "have you spoken to them yet?"

"we're not on speaking terms."

"and how badly is that tormenting you?"

coriolanus closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. "you told me to leave it alone."

"i didn't think you'd actually listen to me, though. it's not like coriolanus snow to take the advice of others, especially when it comes to. . . well, feelings."

coriolanus clenches his jaw, watching you leave the canteen without so much as a glance in his direction. "i don't waste time chasing things i have no chance of catching."

"sounds an awful lot like giving up."

coriolanus scowls. "could you mind your business, sejanus? we both have far more important things to be focusing on."

"ah yes," sejanus muses. "not a moment to be normal teenagers. i forgot the policy for a second."

---

coriolanus remembers the first time he laid eyes on you. it was his first day taking on 'group therapy', a remedy tigris recommended to him and would not shut up about. he agreed to give it a go purely so his cousin would give him some peace. he was also reaching a point of desperation, though he loathe to admit it; the nightmares of the way - the flashbacks - were returning full force, and his already grim sleeping schedule was becoming non-existent. he would go days without a wink of sleep, too afraid to close his eyes lest the tormenting images attacked him again.

he had little hope therapy would do him any good, but he dragged himself to the youth centre anyway. he wore only a loose pair of cargo trousers and a hooded shirt; ditching his rich capitol attire seemed like the best way to remain unnoticed if he were to accidentally run into any of his school mates, none of whom seemed even a tiny bit tormented by the war they too lived through.

the group coriolanus introduced himself to upon arrival was made up of ones from the poorer side of the capitol. of course, no one from the districts would be granted the privilege of therapy, so everyone around him was still neatly dressed and civil, shaking his hand and asking him all sorts of domestic questions in an attempt to ignore the circumstances in which they were meeting. everyone had horrors behind their eyes, which coriolanus found particularly difficult to ignore; did he look like that? haunted, scared of something that happened so long ago?

he reminded himself he was there to figure that out, and so took a seat in the small circle of patients. the professional, dr langmead, sat at the head and started the session by introducing two of the three new-comers.

"coriolanus snow, callistra stray, and. . ." she looked around, eyes squinted behind her spectacles. "uh, y/n-"

the doors burst open.

corionalus span just as you entered the room, hair a mess and eyes wild. his first instinct was to cringe away from how dishevelled you are, but his manners kicked in when you looked at him, as if your eyes were somehow drawn to his the minute you walked in the room.

"ah," dr landmead drawled. "you must be our final newcomer, y/n l/n. please, take a seat."

"we use first names in here?" you asked, dashing to the seat across from coriolanus. "pretty sure i opted out of that in the sign-up agreement."

"yes, we use first names, because we understand there is nothing shameful about being here," dr langmead replied.

"i'll be the judge of that." you smiled awkwardly. "sorry. nerves make me say stupid stuff."

dr langmead merely blinked before continuing with the session. already, however, coriolanus was distracted by you, the start of something he will not be able to shake. he spent that session staring, examining the way you hold yourself, how you would always look so bored and uninterested, yet always gave the most detailed, thought-out answers when called upon. when it was your turn to speak, coriolanus was shocked to discover you were born district - district thirteen, as a matter of fact. you and your family had travelled to district ten for business when the annihilation happened, leaving you with nothing, taking away everything you held dear. it was only by luck your father managed to secure a job in district ten as entertainment manager, a job that eventually gave you and your family access to capital life. it explained how coriolanus had never seen you before.

"i haven't taken the move well, clearly," you said. "that's why i'm here. mum and-"

"what was district thirteen like?"

your eyes snapped to rubeus helm, owner of the voice. "excuse me?"

"i mean, we all know the basics," rubeus said. "radioactive animals, poison in the soil, basically unlivable unless you have that, like, genetic mutation-"

"excuse me?"

"enough now." coriolanus spoke before he could stop himself, eyes pinned on rubeus. "don't be such an idiot. if you truly believe those rumours, you don't deserve the title of capitol citizen."

the circle went quiet. even dr langmead seemes stunned, mouth open but no words coming out to diffuse the situation. coriolanus turned to you, fully prepared to apologise on rubeus's behalf, but you didn't give him a chance; you stood, chair scraping the floor, and stormed out.

coriolanus followed you, because no one else did. he found you outside the youth building, doubled over with a hand covering your mouth, silent tears pouring down your face. so many people bustled past, not giving you the time of day, and not for the first time, coriolanus wondered if the districts worked like this, if they ignored each other all the time, if they lacked compassion in the same way the capitol did.

he approached slowly. "y/n. that's your name, right?"

you closed your eyes, tightening the hold on your lips. and then, as if only comfortable acknowledging him once you gathered your bearings, you opened your eyes and nodded. "that's right."

"coriolanus snow," he said.

"i know. you're one of the big shits at the academy." at his startled expression, you chuckled and said, "i'm starting there next week. you showed up on the records. multiple times, actually."

coriolanus blushed, though he wasn't entirely sure why; he was usually so proud of his academic achievements considering they were the only truthful things he could brag about. for some reason, however, that side of him being your first impression made him cringe a little.

"do you think they'll let me back up?" you asked.

"i don't think so," coriolanus answered truthfully. "not a bad thing, though; the whole thing is a scam."

"spoken exactly like someone who can't admit he has emotional baggage. what was it for you? war trauma?"

coriolanus pursed his lips. "a little bit. just a few night terrors i can't wash away; my cousin wanted me to try talking it out, so here i am."

"here you are." you pulled yourself onto the railing behind you. "here we both are; two capitol schmucks with issues."

coriolanus tilted his head. "you'd consider yourself capitol?"

you shrugged. "i'll consider myself whatever keeps my family and i safe, and saying i'm from district thirteen certainly isn't the way to do that."

coriolanus was struck by how easily you said it, how matter-of-fact you could sound whilst talking about the cruelties of the capitol, because you weren't exaggerating. coriolanus loathed to admit it, but the rumours rubeus detailed weren't pulled from his own desire to wind up someone from the districts - those were real rumours, real beliefs that even some of the most educated panem citizens believed.

coriolanus looked down, suddenly awkward, suddenly left wondering why he followed you in the first place. He's Capitol through and through, and looking at you from afar made him think you were, too, but now he's heard you speak, heard the tiniest glimpse of your story, and he realises you could very much be the farthest thing from it.

"it's nice here."

your voice brings him back. he looks up to see you staring out at the view, hands gripping the metal railing. your tears have dried, replaced by this look of fascination directed towards the towering sky scrapers and the perfectly clean streets of the capitol before you.

"not what i'm used you," you continue.

"was thirteen bad?" it's a stupid question, almost condescending; everyone in the capitol knows about the state of district thirteen, the horror stories that came out of it even before it's annihilation.

you lift your head, shoulders rising on an inhale. "i loved it. it was home." you turn to him fully. "do you not love your home?"

coriolanus blinks. "i - i like it here. it's all i've ever known."

you scoff. "that must be nice. i can't wait to live here so long that i get numb to it all."

"hey, i'm not numb. i'm thankful-"

you raise a hand, silencing him immediately, though he doesn't know why. that kind of rudeness would usually set him on a rant unlike any other, but the words immediately die in his throat when it's you.

"i don't want you to explain yourself. you're capitol. that's all there is to it."

coriolanus blinks, unsure how to respond. you stare at him a little while longer, as if giving him the opportunity to - what? apologise? he has nothing to apologise for. the annihilation of your home had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the districts grace overstep during the war.

when the silence continues to drag on, you look away and say, "i should probably start walking home."

coriolanus can only nod, but that is enough for you. you tip your head in a silent goodbye before ducking under the railing and crossing the road, not giving coriolanus a second glance.

---

after the first encounter, coriolanus sees you all the time.

you're a good worker. excellent, even. certainly excelling the expectations of someone district born. you are in most of coriolanus's classes, though if you realise that, you don't show it. coriolanus is almost impressed by how well you ignore him, how well you ignore everyone. you keep your head down, a smart decision on your part. though coriolanus has no problem with your district heritage, he knows not everyone is of the same opinion. even now, three weeks into the school year, he catches his fellow capitol classmates staring at you like you're some kind of spectacle, an animal at a zoo. it makes him angrier than he cares to admit.

it's during your fourth week at the academy that you finally grace coriolanus with a bit of acknowledgement. at least he thinks it's your fourth week; in all honesty, the days have become mere blurs to him recently, too plagued by his ptsd for him to really pay attention to how much time is passing. all he knows is that he has seen you almost everyday for a time long enough to grow his intrigue tenfold. he has quickly become part of your group of spectators, but for a completely different reason.

he sits in the library on his own, because that's what he does all the time. it is also what you do all the time, though neither of you have ever come together during these conveniently timed study sessions. not until this particular day. coriolanus is so absorbed in his business studies textbook that he doesn't even notice you standing over him until you reach over and pluck one of his pastel highlighters off the table. his head snaps up.

"excuse - oh!" he slams his textbook closed, though he doesn't really know why. "y/n. hello."

"hello," you reply. "are you doing business studies right now?"

"um, yes."

"great." you slump into the seat next to him, shoulder crashing against his. "it's the one class i can't get a grasp on; they explain things so weirdly here, it's genuinely like you're all speaking in code." you pull his textbook across the table and open it to a page coriolanus surpassed days ago. "help?"

coriolanus stares, waiting for the punchline, or perhaps your own realisation to kick in. he can tell you feel the tension judging by the way you tap your foot and bite your lip, the way you refuse to look at him, probably expecting him to say something first.

after a few excruciating moments, you inhale and say, "so no help?"

"god forbid you cut to the chase."

you sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat. "i was hoping you'd let me off lightly."

"you haven't spoken to me in a month, y/n; i didn't think there was anything for me to let off in the first place."

you wince, crossing your arms over your chest. now that he has you all to himself, he can see the signs of exhaustion on your face, the bags under your eyes, the slump of your shoulders. your uniform looks too big, hanging off your frame like a mish-mash of blankets rather than a respectable, expensive uniform.

coriolanus leans forward, an eyebrow raised. "what's the matter?"

"how do you do it?" the question is so abrupt, like it's been ripped from your mouth by force.

"do what?" coriolanus asks.

you wave a hand. "this. all of it. the people, the attitudes. it's just so . . . different. backwards, almost." you pause to examine his face, and he has to fight off the blush threatening to make an appearance. "does it offend you when i say that?"

"no," he replies. "i just don't understand why you're saying it to me. i'm capitol, y/n, born and raised."

"i know," you say. "you're different, though."

"am i?"

you shrug. "you came after me that night, came to make sure i was okay. nobody else has even come close to making a gesture like that; i've just been ignored this entire time. like i have an illness or something."

coriolanus's first thought is that perhaps you do have an illness, most likely contracted by the heavily toxic fumes of district thirteen; he's heard all the evidence, that anything to escape thirteen after it's annihilation is likely bunged with all sorts of diseases.

he doesn't say that, though. instead he says, "so you're lonely?"

you wince. "it's embarrassing to say it out loud."

"but that's what it is, right? you miss your friends."

you shoot him a flat look. "my friends are dead, cor. complete annihilation, remember?"

coriolanus's attention should probably go straight to the blatant call-out of your comment, but instead his mind spirals to the nickname you slotted oh-so casually into the dig. his heart stutters hearing it, and he feels ridiculous for the reaction, but he'll be damned if he can help it.

"cor?" he pushes.

you frown. "are we not on a nickname basis?"

"i'm not even on a nickname basis with my own family."

"great. cor it is then." you grin, the first coriolanus has seen you properly do so since you got here. it's a transformative expression, one that brightens your haunted eyes and makes coriolanus's heart skip a single beat.

he rolls his eyes. "whatever. tell you what - there's a grade party taking place in board room three tomorrow night; i'm inviting you if you haven't already. it'll give me a plus one, and you'll get the chance to make more friends."

as soon as he says it, coriolanus knows making capitol friends isn't your goal. not at all. when you expressed being lonely, it was because every friend you had was killed; a school party isn't going to take away that kind of loneliness, the kind rooted in trauma.

your expression flickers for only a second before you wrestle it back into a smile. "oh. i didn't know you did parties."

"a few every year. splits up the work." he nudges your elbow. "what do you say?"

you purse your lips, eyes flicking to the table. after a moment, however, you meet his gaze again and say, "fine. i'm in. but you're picking me up, and i'm not dressing fancy."

----

coriolanus does exactly as you asked, because he wants this.

he truly didn't think you would actually agree to his invitation; all evidence he has observed the past few weeks points to the fact that you do not like the capitol, nor the people in it. why you would ever want to surround yourself with the very people who have tormented you throughout your entire stay is beyond him, but he can't deny he's happy you're joining him. he hates these parties just as much as you do, but he has an obligation to show his face; it's what is expected of a snow.

coriolanus knocks on your door shortly after seven. he has dressed down for the occasion, a dark blue suit with a white tie, one of grandma'am's roses pinned to the lapel. he fiddles with the stem, biting his lower lip as he waits for you to answer the door. he can hear movement behind the wood, your frustrated curses before finally the door flings open, and there you are.

you give him a grin that takes the attention off the oh-so-casual outfit you have decided to wear. coriolanus isn't very familiar with the fashions once presented in district thirteen, but he can think of no other place you got your inspiration from. you're wearing a pair of grey overalls over a plain white shirt, hair pinned back with a feather that runs down the left side of your face. unlike coriolanus, there is not a touch of make up to be seen on your face, not a touch of make up even needed.

"you're early," is the first thing you say.

coriolanus blinks. "is that not a good thing?"

"not necessarily," you reply. "what if i was still in the nude?"

coriolanus is certain he didn't hear you correctly. "excuse me?"

you wave a dismissive hand, banishing that particular conversation for another day. "never mind. let's just go."

coriolanus hasn't done anything grand, just a brisk walk through the more pleasant areas of the capitol. he had half a mind to borrow his fathers' old car, but he's glad he decided against it. you seem to enjoy the walk, happily looking at the flowers lining the sidewalk, the skyscrapers adorned with flags and happy colours. he wonders if you ever had views like this in thirteen, if your joyous reaction is a result of nostalgia or awe.

you arrive at the party, and coriolanus takes your hand. it's a bold move, but he doesn't know if he'll get the opportunity again. he doesn't care that all his classmates are oggling you both as you walk through the crowd, doesn't care that some of those classmates are even scowling, like coriolanus has suddenly become the scum of the earth for being associated with you. he tightens his grip on your hand, guiding you towards the refreshments table.

"want a drink?" he asks, and even as he says it, he can hear how short he is being.

you raise a brow before glancing at your joined hands; coriolanus only then notices his white knuckles, and quickly pulls his hand away.

"sorry," he says. "i just-"

"they've got an issue with me, cor," you interject. "not you. you don't need to get all riled up."

"they're being. . . i don't even know the word."

"assholes?"

coriolanus grins, tries to hide it behind a glass of red punch he doesn't even like the flavour of. "my grandma'am wouldn't like me saying that word."

you pluck the glass out of his hands and take a swig. "that's why i said it for you. now relax, okay? you didn't bring me here to watch you glare at your friends. at least i hope not."

coriolanus chuckles. "no. no, i didn't."

and so you join the party. as always, coriolanus thinks the whole thing is pointless and over the top, but for the first time since he started attending these parties, he isn't eager to go home at the earliest convenience. he finds himself actually having fun when you're by his side, watching you sway and jump around to the music everyone else is ignoring in favour of idle chat. coriolanus never realised just how boring his peers were until you came in as a contrast, someone who comes to a party to breathe life into it, someone who clearly knows what the meaning of 'letting go' is.

you encourage him to dance, and against his better judgement, he does just that. he dances until sweat rolls down his face, until his legs are sore, until he no longer pays attention to anything but you, not even his whispering peers sending scandalised glares your way. he accepts the food from the refreshments table and eats it like a man starved, laughing when you reach forward to wipe some sauce from the corner of his mouth.

he has fun, a new experience in itself. for so long he has been stuck in the business mindset, doing everything just to propel himself that one step forward. it's been so long since he did anything just for the sake of it, just because he can, just because he is human and he's allowed to be relaxed sometimes.

so lost in his own enjoyment, he doesn't notice the moment you duck away from him. it's only when he makes to grab for your hand and grasps nothing that he realises you are gone, and then a panic sets in. he doesn't know where it comes from, but it doesn't feel irrational considering the people surrounding you - these people don't like district born, and that's exactly what you are, all you are to people like them.

he spins, searching the room frantically for any sign of your bizarre outfit. he spots you too late, however, because by the time he finds you in the crowd, moreli has already sidled up beside you. coriolanus watches her grab your arm, that sneer on her face he so desperately wants to rip apart right now. your own expression dulls, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but how can you be confused right now? why did you think it was a good idea to run away from him? how could you be so dull?

he rushes forward, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. he snatches your arm the moment he can, placing himself between you and moreli.

moreli stumbles back, eyes widening. "excuse me."

"you're excused," coriolanus growls. "let's go, y/n. the nights over."

"wait, but i haven't-"

"y/n and i were just about to catch up," moreli says. "i don't know why you're freaking out, coryo."

coriolanus clenches his jaw and starts dragging you towards the door. he ignores the concerned glances being sent his way - to hell with all of them. he was having a good night, and it had to be spoiled by brats like moreli.

you tug on his hand, but he's too angry to even notice. it's only when you're outside in the lashing rain do you finally manage to pull your hand free, startling coriolanus back to reality.

he turns, slipping his jacket off to place over your shoulders. you step out of his way, however, frowning.

"what the hell, cor?"

"what? i saved you."

"saved me from what? moreli was asking if i'd had enough to drink!"

coriolanus rolls his eyes; sweet, innocent little you, thinking moreli meant anything kind by her actions. "so you were falling for her act."

your eyes widen, jaw dropping open. "act? coriolanus, you took me out tonight to make friends! how am i supposed to make friends if you just assume everyone is being rude to me?"

"because chances are, that's how it's going to be!"

you flinch back like coriolanus has just slapped you.

"oh, let's be real, y/n," he continues, because he's still so angry, so filled with adrenaline. "you're district. there aren't many people around here who have forgiven you for what happened."

you open and close your mouth, fighting to find the right words.

"i'm protecting you," he continues. "this party was a mistake."

"you're right," you spit. "it was. remind me to never step foot anywhere else with you, ever again." with that, you shove past him and into the rain, not even looking both ways before jogging across the street towards your home.

for a second, coriolanus is genuinely confused. he blinks, watching you go, not quite comprehending what has just happened; he was just trying to help. he was being honest at the end of the day, and what more did you want from him? he knows these people better than you do. he knows what he's talking about.

he sniffs, wiping a droplet of rain from the tip of his nose. he debates going after you, but you've already disappeared into the distance, and he's getting the vague impression you don't want to talk to him.

someone knocking into his shoulder brings him back. he looks over just as sejanus grabs him, probably a little tipsy if the alcohol on his breath is anything to go by.

"hey," he pants in coriolanus's ear. "where'd y/n go?"

coriolanus looks down, watching the raindrops crash against his dress shoes. "home." he inhales, giving sejanus his best fake smile. "i think i'll do the same, actually."

-----

you go back to ignoring him.

coriolanus can't believe the childishness. after a chat with tigris, and a little bit of thought on his part, he can understand why you were angry; as tigris said, you are your own person, a grown up who can make decisions no matter what part of the world you were born in. coriolanus should have let you make your own mistakes.

however, he still can't believe that your choice of punishment for him is the silent treatment.

you fail your business studies assignment because you refuse to let him help. he's offered about five times since the party, but every time you just turn around and pretend he hasn't even spoken. he's sat beside you at lunch, but you simply stand up and sit somewhere else.

it's like you want to have no friends.

coriolanus hates thinking it, but it's the truth; you're district. district people don't make friends in the capitol. they keep their distance, playing it smart. all coriolanus wants is to be a confidant to you, a protector.

until he sees you chatting to moreli again.

it's different this time. moreli is sitting beside you, rubbing elbows, a tray of food placed between you. there's a smile on her face, and at one point, she even laughs at something you say. coriolanus can only stare at the spectacle, an odd twist of jealousy darting around his stomach. he's got an exam to study for, this shouldn't be the thing keeping his attention, but he can't look away. if his eyes aren't deceiving him, then it looks as if moreli is actually being friendly to you.

sejanus slams his tray down in front of coriolanus, as he does every lunch. coriolanus doesn't even flinch, doesn't even bother hiding the direction his eyes are pointed. sejanus tilts his head, moving into coriolanus's view.

"hello."

coriolanus swats him away. "move."

sejanus raises a brow, looking over his shoulder. of course, it doesn't take him very long to pinpoint what has coriolanus so intrigued; despite his best efforts, you are the only thing coriolanus can talk about. he's always asking sejanus and his friends how you have been, if you've asked about him, if you're ready to talk yet. none of them know the answers, of course, because you avoid sejanus just as much as you avoid coriolanus, but he likes to try.

sejanus sighs. "this again?"

"since when were they friends?"

"moreli and y/n?" sejanus shrugs. "for a while. since the party, i think. they hang out in class all the time."

coriolanus digs his nails into his palms. "oh. good. i'm glad."

"has y/n spoken to you yet?"

"no. why?"

sejanus shrugs again. "just wondering. i think maybe you should try having a civil conversation-"

"they won't let me have any type of conversation."

"when has that ever stopped you from trying?" sejanus sighs, leaning forward. "look coryo, don't give up. whatever happened between you two at the party can be solved, but you can't give up. it's not in you."

coriolanus closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. sejanus doesn't know how hard he's been trying, how embarrassing it is to be shot down every time he so much as looks in your direction. he isn't used to this kind of treatment, but maybe that's why sejanus is right; this is a challenge, a task set before him to test if he's really got the commitment he says he does.

and so, after school that day, coriolanus catches up to you on the walk home.

it's snowing a little bit today, frost coating the ground, a hint of deep snowfall in the night. you're bundled up in a large waterproof coat that goes right to your knees, and you walk like a penguin on the ice. like coriolanus, your shoes aren't made for the ice, and yet coriolanus still manages to catch up to you.

you yelp when he taps your elbow, spinning around and very nearly slipping. he grips you a little tighter, keeping you upright, and for a minute, you look like you're not about to yell at him. however, the moment your eyes focus and the shock wears off, your expression slips into a scowl and you spin, storming off.

coriolanus groans. "y/n! stop this nonsense!"

"go away, coriolanus!"

"not until you talk to me."

much to his surprise, you stop. he takes the opportunity to walk in front and meet your eyes.

"not until you talk to me," he repeats, softer this time.

you inhale shakily. "i don't want to do this."

"i just want to explain myself," he replies. "if you want nothing to do with me after, then that's okay. i'll leave you be."

you fold your arms over your chest, looking more vulnerable than coriolanus has ever seen you before. he's so used to the tough, bulletproof version of yourself you show to the world, but now you look genuinely nervous, glancing at the ground, rubbing your foot in the frost.

but you don't run away, so coriolanus takes his chance.

"i'm sorry i assumed moreli was being rude to you," he begins. "i took you there to make friends, so i should have let you make friends. i was just worried. capitol folk. . . y/n, they aren't all clean cut and polished. they can be cruel. especially some we go to school with."

you scoff. "you think i don't know that?"

"i realise now that you probably know better than anyone," coriolanus admits. "but you understand where i'm coming from, right? i wanted to help. i wanted to protect you."

as soon as the sentence is out of his mouth, he realises how vulnerable it sounds. your eyes flick up, lips pursed, but again, you aren't running away.

he tilts his head. "do you believe me?"

you pause. "i believe you. i just don't understand why you'd go through the hassle."

"you're not a hassle."

your shoulders slump like that's the sentence that knocks the wind out of you. you drop your arms to your side and shake your head at the sky, though coriolanus catches a hint of a tiny smile playing at your lips. it makes his heart sing, a chuckle escaping him.

"what?" he asks.

you shake your head again, finally meeting his eyes. "you're a surprise and a half, coriolanus snow."

he blushes, shrugs. "i've been told that before."

you loop your arm through his. "walk me home."

----

the next few weeks are strange, but glorious.

the shift in coriolanus's personality is noticeable to everyone. he gets asked about it multiple times, but the answer is always the same: a sly smile. in reality, he doesn't need to tell anyone why he is suddenly so over the moon; they all know. they see him walking to your house every morning, laughing with you in the hallways, walking you home after a long day.

tigris has asked about you multiple times, but coriolanus never gives her a proper answer. you are like a secret, something special he wants to keep close to his heart. he truly doesn't care that you're district, and he doesn't care if everyone else knows - to him, you are a reason to get up every morning.

he has yet to actually ask you out, because he isn't sure if that's something people do these days. he's read about it in the romance novels, and heard about it amongst elderly couples who grew up in a time where asking someone for their hand was a lot simpler. coriolanus doesn't know what the protocol is these days, and he's very afraid of messing it up. nonetheless, the urge to kiss you grows stronger each day, and he knows you're expecting it, too. sometimes there are these lapses in conversation where you just stare at each other, and more often than not, your eyes end up drifting to his lips. his do the same, though he likes to think he's a bit more subtle at it than you are.

by the time coriolanus finishes up his last class of the day, it's already dark outside. the winter months will do that, but it doesn't make it any more bearable. the moment he steps out of the academy, he is greeted by biting cold winds, flurried raindrops sprinkling his skin. he grunts, pulling his hood over his head so that his curls get pushed into his eyes, and he's going to lose his temper, because that class went so poorly, and now he has to walk home, and he just can't-

"awk, you look like a little puppy dog!"

he spins, very nearly slipping in the process.

you grin, giving him the smallest wave with just the tips of your fingers, the rest of your hand hidden beneath the sleeves of your coat. the minute he sees you, his face lights up, an expression he can't help. you just bring it out of him, this delight.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. "it's freezing!"

you loop your arm through his, guiding the way to the empty street. "i had nothing else to do, so i thought i'd walk you home."

"you're not walking me home. i'm walking you home."

you frown. "not fair."

"that's how this works, i'm afraid. get used to it."

you roll your eyes, letting coriolanus guide you in the direction of your home. it's a route he has unwillingly memorized, a route he has come to enjoy over any other. upon it, there are beautiful green trees slotted between the glass skyscrapers, statues erected tall, the smell of baked goods wafting from the countless bakeries dotted along the path. above all, however, is the you-ness of it. the view and the vibe is all well and good, but what coriolanus enjoys most is the smile it brings to your face, the way you have to halt every now and then to truly appreciate your surroundings.

this evening is no different, and coriolanus is enamored. he doesn't even realise he's staring, smiling until you pause and say, "what's that face for?"

coriolanus doesn't hide his smile, merely shakes his head and replies, "nothing. absolutely nothing."

you raise a brow, but let the subject drop. "you're strange, you know."

"am i?"

"yeah. you're too. . . mysterious, but not really."

coriolanus huffs out a laugh. "i'm going to need an explanation."

"well, let's put it this way." you loop your arm through his, as if to really get your point across. "as cheesy as it may sound, i feel like i know you pretty well. i know you're an absolute fiend for a nice bar of chocolate, that you have some strange obsession with roses-"

"it's not an obsession-"

you slap his arm. "i know you're a high achiever, whether you want to admit it or not. i also know you have a protective streak, which makes you very, very sweet in my eyes."

despite himself, coriolanus blishes; he's been called many things throughout his life, but hardly ever 'sweet.' it's possible that is a purposeful thing, him always playing the tough guy act, the legendary scholar in any attempt to protect the secrets he has held for so long.

"but," you continue, and coriolanus raises a brow. "i know all that stuff, yet i don't even know how many people are in your family. are you close? what was your childhood like?"

coriolanus's heart thuds. that smile he seems to permanently adorn when in your presence slips as the panic starts to set in. "the answers to those questions don't mean anything."

you frown. "you don't think so?"

"i just don't believe they add anything to our relationship. it's all pointless information."

your frows furrow, and coriolanus knows he's digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole. he doesn't understand the fight or flight response flooding his system, but it's there, is always there when anyone starts prodding into his personal life.

he's never felt guilty about his secrets before, but you're different.

"look," he says, "let's not get caught up in all that. we need to get you home before it gets too dark, and then i'll be forced to sleep on your front porch."

to his relief, you smile, eyes crinkling at the edges in that way he loves so much. "there it is. that protective streak."

"i believe it's called being a gentleman."

"oh, whatever."

and so, coriolanus walks you home, treading carefully around anything that could trigger a conversation about his home life. it's easy enough to avoid as you get lost in talking about the plant life surrounding you, so all coriolanus has to do is listen. he loves when you get like this - animated, human in a way the capitol doesn't recognise. it's a breath of fresh air. you're a breath of fresh air.

and maybe it's this realisation that convinces cirolanus to hover at your door for a little while longer. you turn to say goodbye, hands clasped in front of you, that tentative yet somehow confident smile playing at your lips.

you glance at his face, and immediately your entire demeanour shifts. his intentions - his desires - must be written all across his expression, but he doesn't even care right now. his heart is beating a hundred miles a minute, which can mean only one thing for him.

"cor. . ." you croak, sounding almost uncertain, but you don't move when he takes a step towards you. instead you let him take your hand and draw you close, so cose that the tips of your shoes touch his.

"cor," you repeat, clearer this time. "i don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

he nearly laughs. "i'll only regret it if you want me to stop."

a huff of air escapes you. "no."

"no?"

"no, i won't ask you to stop."

those words send a shiver down his spine, and before the nerves can get the better of him, he draws you closer and presses his lips to yours.

it is like fire, andd melting, and gasping for air all at the same time. he questions what he's doing even as he can't bring himself to stop, hands trailing down your sides to grab and pull your hips against his. you gasp into his mouth, and he swallows the noise, lets it drive him.

"cor," you gasp. "are you sure?"

"i'm certain," he replies, trailing his lips down your neck, a move he has never done before, but it feels right in this moment.

you cling to his shoulders. "i'm - i'm district."

he pauses, wondering if he even heard you right, because why would you say that? "i know."

you slowly straighten up, increasing the distance between you and him. "just think about this. you're a very big-shot name in the capitol. my name is barely scraping by without being buried in the dirt. most people think i'm radioactive or something."

"that's not-"

"you don't have to lie, cor. i'm not oblivious. sure, it got better when you took me under your wing, but i don't think that protection stretches as far as. . . this." you gesture between the two of you, a sheepish expression on your face that makes coriolanus angrier than he cares to admit. here he is, opening himself up to you, and you're shooting him down because of the rancid opinions of other people.

he runs a hand down the side of his face, tucking his tongue into his cheek. "okay. i didn't think that mattered."

"of course it matters. this is your name on the line, your legacy."

"there is no legacy."

you scoff, infuriating coriolanus even more.

"what?" he demands, and he doesn't mean to raise his voice, but he can't help it.

"everyone knows the snow name," you say. "as pure as snow is white, capitol through and through. that's what makes you so respected around here."

coriolanus nearly laughs; if only you knew. and maybe that's why the conversation irritates him so much - you don't know. just like everyone else, you hear his surname and assume he has no problems, that he's always had everything he's always wanted. it would never occur to you that maybe coriolanus has no food in the tiny fridge at home, that his cousin is working two insufferable jobs so he can go to school and give their family a chance. you don't know, so you assume, and that makes you just like everyone else.

coriolanus swallows and looks to the floor. "so because i'm a snow, i can't kiss who i want?"

you pause, as if the weight of your comments have finally dawned on you. "no. it's just. . . for your sake, i want you to think-"

"i have been thinking," he bursts, the anger and frustration bubbling over before he can stop it. "i've been thinking a lot, and you're right. my legacy will be ripped to shreds if i'm caught interacting with district scum like you."

the words are a bomb. for a moment, all coriolanus can hear is whistling, the rest of the world silent, as if waiting with bated breath. you stare at him, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide. sometimes soriolanus forgets that you've never seen this side to him, that you're one of the only people he lets himself be calm around.

but the damage has been done, and coriolanus recognises that the second the words are out.

you open your mouth to say something, but the silence stretches on. all you can manage is a miniscule nod, a dismissive hand wave before you turn on your heel and walk away.

desperately coriolanus wants to go after you, but he's frozen. he's shocked, shocked that he slipped so badly, that he even had the ability to hurt you at all. so he swipes a hand over his face, turns and starts the shameful trek home.

----

he tries getting you to speak to him, but nothing works.

he doesn't deserve your attention. he understands that, and he usually isn't one to chase a lost cause, but this is different. it's like he can't help himself. everytime he sees you walking through the halls, he tries to meet your eyes, tries to get you to notice him, but it doesn't work. you duck your head down and scurry away, like he's radioactive.

"what's wrong with you?"

tigris flicks his ear, startling him from whatever thoughts have sucked him into a daze this time.

he twists, slapping her hand away with a scowl. "nothing. go away."

"go away," she mimics in a high pitched, ridiculous voice. "honestly coryo, what age are we?" she sits down, folding one knee over the other and leaning close so their grandma'am can't hear. "you can talk to me. you know that."

"i've got nothing to talk about."

"that's a lie. you've been moping around this house for the past two weeks; sejanus rang and asked if you were alright because you haven't been coming down to the after school club. nothing keeps you away from the after school club."

coriolanus rolls his eyes, because that's all he can do when his cousin is making fairly good points against his argument. all of it is true, of course - he has just been moping around, because he doesn't want to do anything besides talk to you, and if he can't do that, then he's going to spend his time moping around.

he messes with the frayed fabric of his dressing gown sleeve. "i don't want you worrying about me, tigris. things are tough enough on you as it is."

tigris's chocolate eyes soften. "don't be ridiculous." she grabs his hands, tugs them into her lap. "you're my family, corio. some of the only family i have left. if i don't have you, i don't have anything, so i need you to be okay. i need you to talk to me."

he closes his eyes; those are the exact words he said to her when she was struggling only a few months before, words that once felt so true it seemed ridiculous he had to remind her of them.

he inhales shakily. "am i a bad person?"

tigris reels back. "what? no. of course not. what makes you think that?"

"just. . . my behaviour. the things i do sometimes to make myself seem. . . in control, i guess."

"like what?"

coriolanus purses his lips and doesn't reply. tigris stares at his side profile, calculating whatever it is she feels the need to calculate before she slowly leans back on her stool and says, "oh."

coriolanus closes his eyes. "don't."

"this is about y/n, isn't it?"

"how did you-"

"what happened?"

coriolanus tips his head back. "why do women always have to have the details of relationship gossip?"

tigris nearly leaps from her chair. "relationship? oh, coryo!" she grabs his hands again, pulling him close to her. "when did this happen?"

"nothing happened," coriolanus confirms. "well, nothing. . . nothing that matters anyway. we kissed."

tigris squeals, all intentions of not notifying the grandma'am forgotten to her excitement. "coryo! and you didn't think to tell me?"

"why would i tell you? i just said it doesn't matter."

"of course it matters. you haven't kissed anyone in years!"

"i've been busy-"

"you're eighteen! these are the kinds of conversations you should be having with me, not updating me on how your portfolio is coming along, or what grade you got in your last class." she leans back again, smirking. "what happened then? give me all the details."

"what happened was i lost my temper and they ran off. that's what happened."

tigris's face falls; in her excitement, she must have forgotten that coriolanus isn't quite as excited about this entire situation as she is. he tilts his head to the floor, unable to look her in the eyes right now; he wants to be alone, and yes, he has been alone the past two weeks, but he needs more time to mope, more time to figure out how in the hell he can make this right again, because not having you here is killing him, and he can't-

"oh, corio."

tigris tugs him into a hug that he does not fight against. his head falls against her shoulder, hands limp by his sides, but she doesn't let go. she strokes her fingers through his blonde hair, slowly swaying back and forth in the same way she used to do when they were kids and his nightmares would get too bad.

"what did you say to them?" she asks, voice barely above a whisper, like she's afraid of startling him if she talks too loudly.

"i called them district scum."

tigris's chest pauses for a moment as she processes the words. "why would you do that?"

he pulls away, squeezes his eyes shut. "i don't know, tigris, that's what i'm trying to figure out. that's why i'm asking if i'm a bad person or not. there was no reason for it! i just. . . got so annoyed."

"why?"

and so coriolanus tells her the whole story from start to finish, letting it push through those barriers of shame and embarrassment, because that's where he's had them kept the past two weeks. even as he recalls the details, his face heats up with self-hatred, remembering how angry he got over nothing, remembering the way your face dropped, the way your lower lip wobbled just the tiniest bit before you walked away. it's these little details that have kept him up at night, these little details that have broken his heart so much he can't even face his friends.

tigris listens with a deadpan expression. when coriolanus finishes talking, she stares as if waiting for more, but there is no more to give, not unless she wants him to spontaneously combust right in front of her.

"so there you go," he mumbles. "i'm a dick."

"well, that goes without saying," tigris replies. "and y/n hasn't spoken to you since then?"

"y/n has barely looked at me since then."

tigris is silent for a moment. and then, "you were raised better than that, coriolanus."

he closes his eyes, bites his lower lip. "i know."

"and you're smarter than this." tigris leans forward, taps his knee to get his attention. "you know what the right thing to do now is, don't you?"

he looks at her, tilts his head.

tigris rolls her eyes. "you need to apologise. you need to go over there and tell them exactly what you just told me. if i can see how guilty you feel, they definitely will." tigris takes a hold of his hands. "do you trust me?"

coriolanus nods immediately, because of course he does.

"then trust that i'm not setting you up for failure right now. you need to go over to y/n's house and make sure they listen to you. if they accept your apology, great. if not, that's completely understandable - you walk away and leave them alone. but until you've explained your side of things, this story isn't over."

----

coriolanus can't think straight.

he's arrived at your door with no plan in mind, which really isn't like him. he prides himself on organisation, on knowing exactly what points he wants to make before he's even stepped foot in the room.

but this time, he has no clue what he's actually doing.

his head hurts, but he continues to replay the words tigris said to him on a loop. she's right, of course. he needs to get his point across, needs to explain himself so you understand why he did what he did, why he is the way he is, why you'd probably be better off with someone other than him, but please don't be better off-

"coriolanus, go home."

your voice comes from the speaker drilled into the pillar he's leaning against. he flinches back, nearly stumbling over his feet in the process.

he glances around warily, narrowing his eyes at nothing.

"go home, coriolanus," you repeat. "i don't want to talk to you."

"y/n," he says, because your name has been the only thing he's been able to think about lately. "y/n, please. this is ridiculous. we're two adults."

"what does that have to do with anything?"

"we should communicate. work stuff out."

you scoff, and it's that noise that boils coriolanus's blood, the noise that set him off the last time. even now he has to bite his bottom lip to stop some snarky remark from rising to the surface, something that will only make this entire situation worse.

"there's nothing to work out. i don't want to see you. in fact, i don't want to hear from you ever again; that's all."

he curls his fingers, nipping nails into his palms. "i want to explain my side of things."

a moment of silence. finally, the buzzer goes off and the golden gates swing open.

"you have five minutes."

coriolanus doesn't waste a second. he makes the trek up to your front door, delighted to see you already standing in the doorway dressed in a fluffy green dressing gown, arms folded over your chest. you scowl at him, but coriolanus can't hold back his smile, his pure pleasure at just seeing you in the flesh, your eyes meeting his after so many weeks of you avoiding him completely. he tries to ignore the red rims around those eyes, too scared to admit he may be the reason behind them.

"y/n," he says again.

"coriolanus."

"thank you for meeting with me."

you roll your eyes. "this isn't a meeting, cor. you're going to say what you have to say, and then you're going to leave me alone." you glance down at your bare wrist. "did i mention you have five minutes?"

he hollows out his cheeks, trying to think of the best place to start. he has so much to say, so much to explain that it's nearly impossible to organise it into one coherent speech, but he has to try. he has to get this right.

"okay," he begins, voice already shaky. "first of all, i think it's important that you understand how terribly sorry i am for what i said. i just. . . i lost my temper. i felt rejected and embarrassed, and i took it out on you. it was wrong. it was childish. it was uncalled for, and i'm sorry."

okay, apology out of the way.

"i've never felt this way about anyone," he continues. "i wanted so badly for it to work between us, but then you said all that stuff about my legacy and the snow name and i just. . . i don't know, y/n. i just panicked and let my temper get the better of me. i've never known how to handle my emotions any differently."

you stare at him, but he doesn't know what else to say. he's given you his truth, far more than anyone else in his life has ever received. all he can do now is hope you accept it, hope you can see just how genuine he is being.

after a moment, you look away, swipe your tongue across your lower lip, and coriolanus doesn't know if this is a good thing or not. he's never seen you look so. . . unbothered, almost, and that's what gets to him. you've always been so full of emotion, so ready for anything, yet right now you're staring at him like there's nothing left for you to give, like you've given up.

he swallows thickly. "please say something."

"i don't know what you want me to say, cor," you croak. "you called me district scum. do you know how hard that is to hear? my home - my district - was destroyed. my family and friends were wiped out in seconds. i would take being district scum over that any day, but here i am, trying to make ends meet, and trying to fit in with your. . . your type, and you just throw it back in my face like that."

he closes his eyes. "y/n. . ."

"because it's so easy for you," you continue, voice rising. "you can hurt other people's feelings as much as you want and face no consequences, because you're a snow."

his eyes snap open, that fury he struggles to control rising to the surface. "i've just told you-"

"it doesn't matter what you tell me. you've showed me how that surname protects you. you looked me in the eye, called me district scum, and now you're here, expecting me to forgive you just because."

"that's not how i wanted it to come across."

"but that's how it is."

"why are you just assuming? is it not possible for you to believe that my apology is sincere?"

you shrug, crossing your arms over your chest. "whether it is or it isn't, i don't accept it." you glance at your bare wrist again, the action making coriolanus's heart shatter. "your five minutes is up."

and with that, you step back into your house and shut the door, leaving coriolanus alone on your doorstep.

----

"how could they just do that to you?" sejanus asks, shaking his head as if in disgust. "you apologised!"

coriolanus shrugs, taking a sip of the too-strong coffee sejanus was kind enough to buy him, no questions asked. "it was humiliating."

"and you two had already kissed before this?"

"yep."

sejanus inhales sharply, tries hiding it by sipping from his own coffee mug. "that's tough."

"it is tough," morales says, sitting on sejanus's left with three plates worth of food stacked beside him. "but it just comes to show that the districts don't know what they're missing. in my opinion, y/n's made a big mistake not accepting your apology; it just means they're going to have to grapple for some respect for even longer, if they can even gain respect on their own."

coriolanus's stomach twists, but he says nothing. these are the kinds of comments he's been quietly listening to for the past two weeks, unable to respond lest his friends think he's let you won.

after the rejection, coriolanus knew he needed to get back to the way things were. he continued trying to get your attention, but in a much more subtle way, never letting his capitol friends see his eagerness, his excitement whenever you walked in a room. however, the hardest part of it all is trying not to show his anger when they make comments like this, comments they expect him to agree with because he is just like them, has always been just like them.

sejanus does the arguing for him, which he appreciates.

"don't be so small minded," sejanus snaps. "you forget i'm district, too."

"hardly," morales scoffs. "your family has always had the capitols back. y/n on the other hand. . ."

coriolanus curls his fingers beneath the table. "can we talk about something else? this really is a pointless conversation."

"i agree," sejanus quips. "i find talking to ignorant people quite unproductive."

"oh for-"

"did you just call me ignorant?"

morales stands, chair scraping against the tiled floor. coriolanus sighs, dipping his head into his hands as sejanus rises to meet morales face-to-face. around them, the dining room grows quiet, all heads turning in their direction; coriolanus scans the area for a quick, subtle get away, but comes up short.

he's going to have to step in.

slowly he stands, places a hand on sejanus's chest. "calm down, boys."

"no way; this little bastard thinks he can say whatever he wants just because he's different. well, i've had enough, and i'm not putting up with it any more!" morales exclaims.

coriolanus nearly laughs, but manages to hold it in. morales was born to very, very rich and protected parents, very high up in the capitol. his family spent their time in a bunker during the war, probably don't know the extents of what happened above ground to this day. imagining morales trying to fight a man like sejanus is almost impossible.

"yes, i'm sure you'll put him right in his place," coriolanus drawls. "but time and place, men, time and place. let's leave this little tiff for later, alright?"

morales meets his eyes, fury still building behind his dark irises. coriolanus merely raises a brow, and a moment later, morales has grumbled some obscenities beneath his breath, swatted a cup off the table, and stormed out.

the dining room erupts back into it's usual chatter, and coriolanus sits down to finish his coffee.

sejanus sighs, sitting next to him. "there it is. the coriolanus we all know and love."

"that entire argument was pointless," coriolanus grumbles. "i wish you two would have a bit more common sense than to start a scene in the middle of the dining room."

"i wasn't going to do anything," sejanus replies. "i knew you would step in eventually."

coriolanus rolls his eyes, but can't help the tiny smile that arises. at least that was a moment of normalcy, a moment where he could present his best self without feeling like a fraud.

sejanus nudges him. "i think you impressed some people, too."

he turns towards where sejanus is motioning, and his heart flips at the sight of you staring right at him. you don't even look away when your eyes meet his, though you make no move towards him, either. coriolanus offers the tiniest smile, a test of the waters, but you simply purse your lips and go back to the conversation taking place at your table.

still, it's something. a taste of interaction coriolanus hasn't been granted in weeks.

"be honest with me, coryo."

coriolanus forces himself to look at sejanus, to take his eyes off you for a moment. "hm?"

"are you still trying to make things work with y/n?"

coriolanus freezes. if anyone else had asked him that question, he would immediately put on the mask, laugh, call them ridiculous for thinking he would waste his time with something such as romance. but this is sejanus, the man who is a little bit smarter than the rest of his friends, a little bit more grounded, a little bit more present. chances are, he's been watching coriolanus closely, picking up on all the subtle marks coriolanus has been trying desperately to hide the past few weeks. would lying even be worth it?

it doesn't matter. sejanus takes his momentary silence as answer enough, tilts his head with a tiny smile.

"i thought so."

coriolanus folds his arms upon the table, deflating. "you think it's ridiculous."

"i think it's romantic," sejanus corrects. "it's been a long time since i've seen you pursue something. . . worthwhile."

coriolanus scoffs. "my education hardly isn't worthwhile. i have a future to still work towards."

"and do you want that future to include y/n?"

"yes. of course."

he says it so quickly, because of course. from the day he met you, no part of him ever wanted to be away from you, even on the worst days. it was a comfortable feeling, like slipping under warm covers after a long day in the cold. it wasn't a question, never something to be debated. from day one, you slotted into his idea of a future so perfectly, it was as if he knew you from birth.

and it's that realisation that makes him look over at you again. you've still got your head down, scribbling furiously in that little notebook that is always bulging out of your blazer pocket. he never asked what you write in it, but now he wonders if it's your thoughts and feelings, how many times his name appears, if you'll ever let him have a look.

but he'll never know, not if he doesn't put the effort in now, not if he continues letting everything else get in the way.

he looks to sejanus and receives only the tiniest smile, but it's all the encouragement coriolanus needs. without another word, he stands up and heads in your direction.

the minute you look up and see him walking towards you, your face drops. it breaks coriolanus's heart, but he keeps advancing, this new-found desperation driving him. you stand and make for the exit, prompting him to shout your name before making haste to catch up to you.

with the two of you in the near empty corridors, coriolanus has a chance to get your attention properly. he quickens just enough to grab your wrist and whirl you around to look at him, and it's then that he spots the tears trailing down your cheeks, then that his whole world seems to crumble around him. are those tears because of him? has he upset you even more, or do you miss him in the same treacherous way he misses you?

there is a brief moment of silence where he can do nothing but stare at you. you stare right back, which he supposes is a good sign, even if your eyes are filled with tears, and your hands are trembling, and you are yet to say a word. you're not running away. you're not cursing his name and leaving him to wallow in rejection again.

finally, he breaks the silence. "y/n."

your name. always just your name, like his brain can't come up with anything else to start a conversation.

your lower lip trembles. "what do you want, coriolanus?"

"you know what i want." he steps forward, fingertips brushing yours. "i miss you."

you close your eyes, releasing a shaky breath. "please don't say that."

"but i mean it," he presses. "i miss you, y/n l/n, district or not. i don't give a shit about my name, or what you will do to my legacy. i want you to understand me how i want to understand you."

"there's nothing to understand-"

"that's where you're wrong. that's where you've been wrong this entire time." he runs a hand through his blonde curls, trying to stay as calm as possible. he doesn't want to get ahead of himself, doesn't want to ruin yet another opportunity to make this right.

"it's partly my fault," he continues. "i never told you the truth about where i'm from, how my life has panned out since my father passed away. i kept the mask up with you like how i've done with everyone else, but i want that to change. i want to. . . i want you to understand me, y/n."

again, your lower lip trembles, and coriolanus can't help but reach out and brush a fingertip across your chin. your breath falters at the touch, making him realise this is the first time he's touched you like this in . . . forever. he's kissed your lips and held your hand, but not once has he ever allowed himself to be so careful, so meaningful with his touches.

not until now. not until you showed you're capable of breaking, that you need a delicate touch every now and then, too.

"i don't want to be stupid here, cor," you whisper. "all i have here is my dignity. i can't throw that away by forgiving the person who hurt me so badly."

coriolanus shakes his head, eyes drifting closed against his will. "i know i hurt you. i thought about it every day, beat myself up about it, asked myself why i am the way that i am." he inhales. "the way that i was, because this whole ordeal. . . nearly losing you . . . it's changed me, y/n. it's made me realise what's important, and it isn't my reputation, or my legacy, or impressing the right people." he opens his eyes, meets your own. "it's you. you're what's important."

your tears well up yet again, a fresh wave to accompany the ones that haven't even dried on your cheeks yet. coriolanus's chest squeezes, and it takes every fiber of his being not to draw you close to him, to hold you in the way he always so desperately craves. he doesn't know if that is allowed yet, if his words weigh enough for you to trust him like that again.

so he waits for the signal. he lets you take the reigns, watching your every move as you ponder on what he has just said, your own position in this situation. he listens to the hustle and bustle of the students now rushing from their classrooms as the bell for lunch sounds overhead, but coriolanus can barely hear it over the sound of his own heartbeat.

and then you take a step closer to him, a tentative one, prey approaching predator. slowly, you lift your hands and readjust the wonky top button on his dress shirt, and for a second, coriolanus panics that you may recognise it isn't made of one hundred percent silk, that it isn't brand new and freshly pressed by the best designers to grace the capitol.

but then you tug him closer, and he forgets everything.

your lips meet his, so different to the kiss from before. this one is slow, uncertain almost, but a promise that there will be a next time. he wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you closer and closer, if that is even possible. your own hands wind around his neck, as if afraid he's going to leave again.

never. never again. he promises that much to any higher being who will listen. this right here is all he needs to feel alive and normal, and when alive and normal is all he's ever wanted, why would he throw it away?

you pull away when it becomes clear that coriolanus has no intention of being the one to do so. a small smile graces your perfect lips, forehead dipped against his own. when you speak, your voice is breathless, tired, a whisper that sends a shiver down his spine.

"let's try this again."

he laughs, pecking your lips one last time. "take two."

[hsangel64]

bandmates pt. 6

pairings: bassist!ellie williams x lead singer!reader

summary: it’s been two weeks since you and ellie have talked you’ve been staying with your friend abby in her dorm

warnings: angst if you squint, cussing, fluffy!!!

a/n: i think i have two more chapters of this and it’ll be over ! don’t worry i have more things coming !

it’s been two weeks…two fucking weeks since you’ve spoken to ellie. part of you felt like it was wrong almost, like you shouldn’t have been so dramatic. i mean you guys aren’t dating why we’re you so hurt over the fact she kissed her ex? the other part is telling you that she was shitty for what she said and she deserves to be ignored. you needed your space to think about what even happened, you felt like you had blacked out during the whole argument. you’ve been going to all your classes and even managed to sit away from ellie every class you two had together.

it’s not like ellie even tried to talk to you either so you didn’t bother. this was difficult, you two have never gone this long without talking to each other. you definitely weren’t doing well, so you decided to stay with a friend you met your freshman year. her name was abby and she was so sweet you guys just instantly clicked and made friends with each other.

…

it was freshman year orientation and you, ellie, dina and jesse were sitting on the bleachers of the gym they had on campus.

“this shit is so stupid.” dina groaned and fell into jesse.

“i don’t understand the point of orientation it seems pointless when they already send every piece of info you need to know before even coming.” you all agreed and whipped your heads to the middle to see what you assumed to be a senior starting to talk. you pretty much just tuned it out until you all had to get up. you all got sent to different groups so you were alone and a little nervous knowing you didn’t know anyone.

they said this was one of those stupid ‘say your name and one fact about you’ to get you guys to make more friends. you hated doing this shit it was pointless because you always end up not even talking to these people ever again. you pretty much just twiddled your fingers and waited for your turn.

“hello my name is y/n , i’m 18 and a fun fact about me is that i’m in a band.”

“that’s hot.” someone guy responded and high fived his friend. you rolled your eyes and looked back down.

“you guys are fuckin idiots.” a blonde girl spoke up to the boys.

“shut up abby.”

“do you want me to beat your asses again?” they whimpered away and you giggled. everyone resumed back to saying their names. you all finished and you all stayed within your groups to walk around campus and get a small tour.

“hey so you’re in a band?” you turned your head around to abby.

“oh yeah with my best friends.” you send a quick smile to her.

“that’s really cool y/n. what’s your guys band name?”

“oh it’s coastals.”

“that’s really awesome.” there was a small silence between you and just the guide was speaking.

“i’m sorry about those guys by the way, they’re both fuckin idiots. don’t ever listen to anything jordan says he’s a dumbass.”

“noted.” you both laughed and smiled at each other. you both went on with the tour saying little silly things. you all came back to the gym and they all let you go you almost immediately went to go find your friends but abby stopped you.

“hey can we trade numbers? maybe you can meet some of the rest of my friends and my boyfriend. we can possibly get coffee?”

“oh! yeah of course!” you were not expecting her to say she had a boyfriend with the little flirty comments…but you didn’t pay any mind to it and gave her your number. as you guys were trading numbers ellie comes up behind you.

“hey dina and jesse wanted to go out to eat you wanna go?” you turned around and smiled at ellie.

“yeah yeah…oh! meet abby!”

“oh, hey.”

“yeah hi.” you looked between them and waved goodbye to abby as ellie pulled you away to your friends.

…

“hey so me and owen are going out if you need anything okay?” you groggily thanked abby and heard her walk away and the door closed. you groaned and sat up rubbing the sleep from your eyes. you looked around the room realizing how quiet it is. you groan again and throw yourself onto the pillow. having abby was great but you missed your dorm, your friends, ellie.

it’s not like ellie was doing good either. what you didn’t know was the fact that ellie barely slept, she barely ate, she was a mess. dina has been trying to get her to talk to you but she chickens out every time. she doesn’t want you to run away from her, she doesn’t want to lose you.

ellie found out after the first week that you were staying with abby. she was furious, her and abby weren’t the best of friends but they played nice when you were around. they just bump heads all the time and can never stop bickering at each other. ellie didn’t want to admit it but she was jealous that you went to abby and didn’t come back to her.

yeah she knows she fucked up but she wished you just came back to the dorm. the night it happened she didn’t sleep all night waiting in her bed for you to come through the bedroom door. she cried almost all night and even made a song. music was ellie’s outlet and she needed it the most during that night. after that night she started to make a plan to talk to you again and do something to majorly apologize for what she said. she was trying to think of a grand gesture.

ellie had been planning for days and scrapping ideas over and over again until she got the perfect thing to do. the exact moment she figured it out she had been watching some movies that had some grand gestures and one of them was ‘10 things i hate about you.’ she saw heath ledger sing on the steps of the stadium. she knew it would be perfect.

she was going to do it today it was perfect, you had to be out on the field setting up for an event so she was going to do it then.

…

you were walking around the field with your clipboard instructing people on how to decorate the field. this wasn’t your job but the head of the committee fell ill and of course she asked you to take her place.

“we need to put those posters up in the bleachers there.” you kept looking down at the checklist and sighed you really didn’t want to do this but you couldn’t say no. you walked to the middle of the field to take a look at the small drawing on the paper and at what you guys have done now. you nod and make some adjustments. you stop in your tracks when you hear the overhead speakers turn on and the mic feedback.

you looked around wondering what was going on and then heard soft singing….is that? you turn and see ellie coming down from the bleachers.

“you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you

you'd be like heaven to touch

i wanna hold you so much

at long last, love has arrived

and i thank god I'm alive

you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you”

you smiled softly, you giggled and rolled your eyes at ellie. she started making her way down the bleachers, there’s no way she’s actually doing this.

“pardon the way that I stare

there's nothin' else to compare

the sight of you leaves me weak

there are no words left to speak

but if you feel like I feel

please let me know that it's real

you're just too good to be true

can’t take my eyes off of you”

she stopped hallway down the bleachers while she sang the next part of the song. you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes a little at her antics. as she sang the chorus she started dancing around the bleachers and stared at you the whole time.

“i love you, baby

and if it's quite alright

i need you, baby

to warm the lonely night

i love you, baby

trust in me when I say

oh, pretty baby

don't bring me down, I pray

oh, pretty baby

now that I've found you, stay

and let me love you, baby

let me love you”

she danced down the bleachers until she was 5 ft away from you. the music stopped and everyone started to clap and she made her way to you.

“hi bee.”

“hi els.” you smiled at her and she smiled back. you both stayed that way for a little, feeling the pressure of everyone on the field staring. you’d think in the movies this would be a lot less awkward.

“i know how silly this might be for you, but i wanted to apologize and make it worth your while. a grand gesture because i truly am sorry y/n. i really didn’t mean to make you feel the way i did that night and i’m sorry for kissing cat. i know there’s no excuse so i won’t say any. you don’t have to forgive me but can we please go back to at least being best friends again? i’ll do anything to make it up to you till the end of time. i love you bee.” you stood there staring at her mannerisms for a moment. the seconds felt like minutes and the minutes felt like hours.

you felt so conflicted and confused, but at the end of the day you will always forgive her. besides being madly in love with her she’s your best friend and will always be your person. you didn’t say anything and stepped a little closer to her so you both were now completely face to face. you both stared at each other for a second longer until you took her face in your hands and smashed your lips against hers.

ellie was caught off guard, she almost blacked out she didn’t know what was going on until her body came back to reality and returned the kiss. you both were in a sort of trance together, the world was spinning around you but you both could care less. you both drowned out the claps and whistles coming from around you. it was just you two and you couldn’t want anything more.

you were the first to pull away and you smiled up at ellie.

“so you aren’t with anderson right…” you looked at her confused.

“why would you think that?” you laughed at her assumption.

“because you guys…”

“ellie she has a boyfriend.” her eyes widened and she let out a small gasp.

“she does?!”

“i know it’s a shocker-“

“you’re tellin me.” she scratched the back of her head before speaking again. “i meant every word i said, especially the i love you.”

“i know els i promise.” you smiled up at her once again and leaned in once more for another kiss. you ended the kiss with your foreheads together.

“move back in please?”

“as long as you get me dinner.”

“anything for you.”

…

oh my god !!! i’m so sorry for delaying this for so long i had just came back from a vacation today and was dealing with song things but i’m back i promise!! i had a love hate relationship with writing this and with how it came out but i hope you enjoy !! there’s only two more chapters !!!!!

@gold-dustwomxn

[queermania]

Dean does say at one point that it's pointless for Sam to try to keep in touch with his Stanford friends, and eventually calls Dean "anti-social"... which Dean doesn't really argue with:

SAM: I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy. (He is checking e-mails on his PalmPilot.)

DEAN: Busy doin’ what?

SAM: Reading e-mails. (DEAN gets out of the car and starts to fill the tank with gas.)

DEAN: E-mails from who?

SAM: From my friends at Stanford.

DEAN: You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?

SAM: Why not?

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

SAM: You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?

DEAN: Yeah, whatever. (SAM continues to read his e-mails.)

Honestly, Dean doesn't strike me as particularly willing to make friendship connections with others unless there is an externally motivating factor.

Benny helped Dean get out of Purgatory. Gordon was a Hunter who was going after the same monster in town as Sam and Dean were, and Castiel was a representative of Heaven first and foremost at his introduction. Dean tried to send Jo Harvelle home rather than let her work a case with them. (And Ellen scolds him because he never told her that he was back from the dead)

I don't think Dean makes connections all that readily with others, unless he's trying to get something out of the other person. He's charming and good at pretending, but ultimately he's focus is usually on the task at hand.

dean: it's kind of pointless to try to maintain a relationship with people you can only ever lie to sam: you're antisocial fandom: this is conclusive evidence

but seriously. does sam end up maintaining a relationship with any of those people? i'm pretty sure the answer is no. and who does he make friendship connections with when there's not an external motivating factor? ruby? nope. jo and ellen? again, no. at least not anymore so than dean does. charlie? nope. dean is the only one who spends time doing non-hunting activities with her in canon. amelia? okay plus one! jody? nope that's just hunting. donna? nope dean is the only one who spends time with her outside of hunting in canon. crowley? nope. cas? nope, again, that's dean's friend. rowena? i would say rowena counts but under your definition, she doesn't. eileen is fifty-fifty because he does spend non-hunting time with her but he only got to know her because of hunting. even the AW hunters are functional, not personal.

so what are we basing all of this on? vibes? just this one conversation in season one where sam says something and dean doesn't dispute it?

tbh i think the entire argument is weak in and of itself. benny is the only one you named who even fits your parameters in my opinion. like, yeah sure dean only met gordon because they were working the same case but i don't think his behavior suggests he's only having a drink with him as a work obligation. his behavior suggests he's excited to have a drink with him because he can be honest and actually connect with him. i'm not really sure why trying to send jo home from a hunt she wasn't invited on and as far as he knows isn't equipped to handle is evidence of dean being antisocial but i guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. and the mere fact that dean formed a bond with cas kind of disproves your argument. he did that in spite of cas's ties to heaven, not because of them.

i just... i don't even know how to have this argument because it's so fundamentally flawed. there is evidence spilling out across fifteen seasons that dean enjoys making and maintaining personal connections: lee, the entirety of lebanon, sonny, cassie, lisa (before the s6 of it all at least), that bartender he winked at that he clearly knows, etc. but you've taken something sam said (dean is antisocial) and then used that lens to interpret every relationship he has, instead of looking at every relationship he has and interpreting what that says about him.

[marley-manson]

i’ve never actually sat down and laid out why hawkeye was 100% right in preventative medicine apparently, i just went thru my season 7 tag and i just take it as read that we all agree he’s obviously right. so now i wanna do that.

So, despite how the ending is framed, Hawkeye isn’t trying to end the war by taking one colonel out of commission. What he’s specifically trying to prevent is this particular colonel defying orders and making a reckless, pointless attempt to capture a hill that would undoubtedly, as Lacey readily admits, get many men unnecessarily killed. As Hawkeye says, “You heard him. He’s gonna take those kids up that hill tomorrow and send them back to us in pieces.”

In taking out his appendix, he also causes Lacey to be taken off the front lines, and prevents even more reckless decisions down the road, at least for a while, which is effectively a bonus. He succeeded in his aim of preventing the deaths of many soldiers.

BJ thinks this is pointless because Hawkeye didn’t end all suffering in the world, apparently lol. “You treated a symptom. The disease goes merrily on.” BJ’s line of thinking assumes that all soldiers are interchangeable and saving one life doesn’t matter if another dies somewhere else.

All the specifics of their argument in the scrub-up room don’t really matter next to the main point there, but it’s also worth noting that BJ’s other objections are, “Cutting into a healthy body is mutilation,” “Some things are wrong and they’re always wrong,” and the guy who’ll replace the colonel might be worse. These are all bullshit objections. Hawkeye’s response to the mutilation accusation is kind of beside the point (plenty of doctors do unnecessary surgeries on people for money) when the real argument is “so what? better a mutilated colonel than a hundred dead soldiers” but he’s still technically right about that too lol, cutting into a healthy body isn’t always “mutilation.”

Hawkeye’s response to BJ saying it’s always wrong is “There are gonna be a hundred boys still alive tomorrow. Go tell them how wrong it is,” which is the perfect response to that kind of moral absolutism, no notes. And his response to the replacement colonel point is “So I’ll take them one at a time,” which is also the correct response. You can’t predict the future - if the next guy’s worse, Hawkeye will deal with the next situation that comes up in front of him in the best way he can. All you can do is focus on what practical steps you can take to mitigate harm here and now, and that’s what Hawkeye does. Plus considering Lacey is the battalion commander with the highest casualty rate of all, the odds are pretty good that the next guy won’t be worse.

The fact that the narrative backs BJ up by ending on Hawkeye’s guilt and BJ’s statement that the war continues (plus I’ve seen the writer directly state that Hawkeye’s action was pointless, somehow) is baffling to me lol, even ignoring the (forgotten by the writers) fact that Hawkeye and Trapper did the same thing to Flagg in season 2 and had a great time. Hawkeye accomplished his stated goal and saved a bunch of lives, and based on Hawkeye’s sound argument, the episode seems to understand that, until the end.

[demonsfate]

This is me quoting my "gatekeeping Jin" post (it's still on my profile if you recognize who I am) by extending it with a few of my thoughts:

"Looks like a lot more people agree with me on this one than I thought.

Long story short: Jin is a good character who is now sadly a wasted potential (because of T6 atrocious OOC writing and what not) and I'm saddened by that. However, the hate and slander against him is getting boring and repetitive to the point where it's annoying and I frankly don't have any more fucks to give. You're free to dislike or hate him, but you won't change the others' persprective on him by saying what he did in T6 for milionth of time as if we don't know that already. Find a better hobby. Get fucking real.

And to my fellow Jin fans: keep strong, comrades. You have my back. ❤️"

But yeah, just adding my two cents to this conversation.

Yeah! I remember ya! Still an epic post.

And very good addition! I should really start ignoring it more, which I do try to... and I did for a while there. But sadly, the reveal of the first four minutes of 8 seemed to... reignite the flames and those people became even more vocal than before. And like, I get it, if you want Jin to not be redeemed or die or you hate his character, whatever. But it's when they start saying the more sillier comments is when it just irks me. I'm talking about the acting like Kazuya is a much better person than Jin, not acknowledging how Tek6 is indeed poorly written, or acknowledging it yet expecting Jin fans to just... accept it rather than continue liking the character for what he was and being critical of Tek6 and wanting to see his original characterization return. It's even more annoying when on my main blog, I make a gif set or post regarding him and I get people who say shit like "Jin deserves [bad things]" or bringing up "Jin started a war!!111!!!" Whilst, luckily, it's only a handful of people who do that on my posts - but stiiiiiiill annoying!!! Like I don't care!!!

I've almost gotten to the point where I just wanna say that I fully endorse Jin's actions in Tekken 6 and that I forgive him solely because he's too pretty to be mad at. BUT that'd be a little too petty and not really worth my time.

But like, that's why I also talk about it a lot here, rather than going to tags, or other posts, or on Reddit. Because there's just no reason for me to argue with people about it since it's really hard to change internet folks' minds, and I don't think most care to. They clearly just bash on him because they've never liked him as a character. So here I have a way of expressing my feelings without getting into pointless online arguments that go nowhere lol

It's always nice to know that even if there's a bunch of people who's annoying about this, at least there's other like-minded fans to understand and discuss the character with. :')

[onetoomanyyy]

This is very random but it is such a breath of fresh air to see someone point out that coroika characters don't have canon ages. I've been in coroika and Splatoon fandom spaces pretty much since the beginning and the sheer level of absurd discourse I've seen over the years due to the misconception about character ages makes me wanna start screaming. Like there's been so much pointless harassment over people portraying characters as adults and it keeps happening. Thanks for being actually level headed about that, it's refreshing

I agree, it’s a rlly dumb thing to have arguments about. I think most of it comes from the coroika fandom wiki which is rampant with misinformation and headcanons accepted as fact. Sure, certain ages can be inferred, but it’s never directly stated anywhere. We don’t even know if coroika follows the canon splatoon timeline of the real world gap between games translating over (it probably doesn’t.) I think it’s fine to portray characters as whatever ages you want. If you think they’re all teenagers, cool! If you think they’re all young adults, also cool! Both are valid because nothing is confirmed. But the word headcanon is called that for a reason, it’s not actually canon. So people shouldn’t be arguing over something that’s all made up anyway