#this is a vague post abt irl/personal stuff

[galaxae]

thefucking agonies

[pissmoon]

If u see a stranger on the internet complaining about some stupid shit they saw online and act smartassy about 'u should curate ur online experience. Lol clearly ur a loser idiot who obsessively hatefollows ppl you find annoying otherwise ud never see something u dislike on the internet' can you follow ur own advice. If u think my post is dumb and u never ever see dumb posts online because you 'curate your online experience' then why did u see it. Ur complaining about people complaining. Curate ur online experience to not see my posts if they annoy you so much maybe?

[baileythebean]

Reasons why you should read… Wings of Fire!!

Random LONG-ASS post but idc because this has been my favorite book series since 3rd grade and I still HEAVILY fixate on it - for anyone interested (after I explain ofc) These books are by Tui T. Sutherland and are available in audiobook, paperback, hardcover, and Kindle I think.

Reasons you might enjoy WoF and features of the books!

-creative character designs

-full plot with little to no holes and if there are any, they’re probably explained in one of the MANY side books available.

-well-written characters that can be powerful without being a “Mary Sue” and having their own personalities

-each book follows a different protagonist, sometimes with the protagonist switching up mid-book

-a prologue and epilogue in each book

-15 main books released so far with more coming!!

-STUNNING cover art

-the main characters are dragons!!

-Written like those fanfics where you read them and you forget you’re reading a fanfic but it’s still not quite written like an ‘official’ book, y’know?

-descriptive writing so you don’t have to imagine stuff in weird vague ways

-LOTS OF LGBTQIA+ rep! Including but not limited to: mlm rep, wlw rep, non-binary/non-conforming rep - and the best part about it? It’s casually brought up! It’s normalized! Not even the villains or shitty parents show an OUNCE of homophobia or transphobia!

-There are humans in these books! And POC rep!

-women in leading/strong roles :3

-different continents!

-different tribes of dragons each sharing similar traits depending on their habitat!! NOT JUST RANDOMIZED DRAGONS EVERYWHERE ALL MIXED TOGETHER WHERE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHO CAN DO WHAT!!

-Each book features a map of the continent it’s set on, a description of the dragons of each tribe living on that continent (including looks, powers, diet, affiliation in war depending on the book, and current Queen) and a page for the prophecy the book fixates around (different for each arc)

-Three arcs, each solving a different conflict but STILL IN THE SAME PLOT!!

-creepy mind-control stuff!

-well-written villains

-lines that have made me CACKLE out loud multiple times

-TONS OF SIDE BOOKS WITH EXTRA LORE/INFO IN THEM!!

-and so much more! Read them for yourself to find out!!

ALL THE BOOKS IN ORDER PLUS THE NAME, SPECIES AND A PICTURE OF THE PROTAGONIST IN PARENTHESES:

THE DRAGONETS OF DESTINY ARC: 1) The Dragonet Prophecy (Clay of the Mudwings)

2) The Lost Heir (Tsunami of the Seawings)

3) The Hidden Kingdom (Glory of the Rainwings)

4) The Dark Secret (Starflight of the Nightwings)

5) The Brightest Night (Sunny of the Sandwings/Nightwings)

THE JADE MOUNTAIN ARC: 6) Moon Rising (Moonwatcher of the Nightwings)

7) Winter Turning (Winter of the Icewings)

8) Escaping Peril (Peril ((the one in front)) of the Skywings)

9) Talons of Power (Turtle ((the green one)) of the Seawings)

10) Darkness of Dragons (Qibli of the Sandwings) (MY FAV CHARACTER YIPPEE)

THE PANTALA ARC: 11) The Lost Continent (Blue of the Silkwings)

12) The Hive Queen (Cricket of the Hivewings)

13) The Poison Jungle (Sundew of the Leafwings) (MY FAV BOOK YIPPEE)

THE RETURN ARC (not sure if that’s actually what it’s called but oh well): 14) The Dangerous Gift (Snowfall ((the one on the right)) of the Icewings)

15) The Flames of Hope (Luna ((the obvious-looking one)) of the Silkwings)

THERE ARE ALSO GRAPHIC NOVELS UP TO BOOK 7 SO FAR AND SIDE BOOKS LISTED HERE: Legends: Darkstalker

Legends: Dragon Slayer

A Guide to the Dragon World

The Winglets Quartet

There might be more but there are also a coloring book plus an activity/storymaking book and as far as I know the fandom is pretty non-toxic and full of artists and cosplayers!! So have funnnn :33

ALSO SEND ME ASKS IF THERES ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA KNOW ABT IT, I’D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ANSWER THEM (sorry if Tumblr fucks up the image quality)

-IRL Bailey

@toniothegammafish @thesilliestofallqueers @rebootgrimm @ask-sora-aguilar @schnozzlebozzle

@bioexorcismss @piigeonss @weirdassartist @clown-prince-of-gay @lilacquintet 

@wakatoshi-main @metal-mage @vv4loe 

[nervocat]

Hey guys, so I'll be announcing smth rlly important here so pls read this. Just know I get personal on my end but I keep it relatively vague.

I've been feeling very very stressed all month and it's worsened a LOT for this week even tho it is only Tuesday. I'm slacking on my work, sleeping the day away, it's been kinda hard to just get up and do things and I just wanna try and get myself together again before I go down that dark hole again like 7th grade.

It's a very scary thought to me bc I've worked so hard to climb out of that said hole and I don't want to go back down it, if that analogy makes sense (analogies help me understand myself better for some reason).

I've also been feeling very lonely lately and for that reason I've kinda just been shutting myself away?? Online and irl too and while I'll probably be just here to read things, you guys can still send in asks just expect replies to be (possibly very) slow. Just need to get it out of my head that just bc mutuals don't acknowledge me or talk with me as much as they used to doesn't mean they hate me (I hope).

I could ramble on abt how much is going on with my mental health rn and for that very reason I'll be cutting myself off here. I'd honestly love if you guys still talked to me but just be aware, as said before, replies WILL probably be slow (sorry arii for leaving your ask from yesterday sitting in my inbox 😭😭).

I might (very slim chance) post works so I'm not saying this is a hiatus per se, just a needed break if that makes sense. I might be active on my other blog (@benefactordreams) bc that's where I can talk abt ocs and stuff but that's also a big big maybe. I like to write stuff for fun to cope :,))

But yeah, just putting this out there so you guys aren't worried abt my inactivity. Love you guys(/p) and I hope you're all well. I'll see you either in my inbox or when I come back fully

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[rollercoasterwords]

Hi! I found your blog through the female rage substack article that you posted and I’m curious about a couple things (so I hope the tone of this ask will read as genuine/non-confrontational etc).

I really liked the article and the anti-gender essentialist content, so I looked through the others and eventually found your jegulus article (which I read and also liked) but I was sort of surprised to see that you are a part of the hp/marauders fandom. For me personally, everything related to that franchise has just been tainted since the whole jkr terf debacle really took off. I was big on hp when I was younger and wolfstar is a ship/dynamic that I enjoyed back then, so I’d probably like your stuff if I were to read it. But I decided some time ago to give any and all hp content the chop, because to me it didn’t feel right to engage with it anymore. So I was just wondering how you feel in that regard, if you don’t mind sharing. I don’t have anyone in my internet content circle that still actively posts about hp and if irl friends still enjoy it then it’s not something we talk about, so I’d just like to know how you juggle the ‘two sides’ in that sense of your trans-positive/anti-essentialist beliefs and fandom content that’s still so intrinsically connected to jkr and her politics. (Also, sorry if you’ve answered a question like this before. I scrolled through your blog a bit, but if yes then not far enough.)

Anyway, hope you’re well and I’ll probably keep an eye out for any future essays on your substack even if I don’t follow you on here. cheers! (and thanks for the “playing the whore” book rec, I’ll be looking into that. a rec from my end would be paul b. preciado's "can the monster speak". it's the written version of a speech he tried to give at a Freudian psychoanalysis conference about the position trans people occupy in psychoanalysis before being booed off stage. it was short and pretty intriguing, in case you're interested/haven't heard of it yet.)

hi! happy 2 hear u enjoyed the female rage essay--i wasn't expecting it to spread as much as it did + had to turn off reblogs for my own peace of mind 2 keep terfs away from my blog, but it's nice to know there are still people getting something out of it. also appreciate the book rec--that definitely sounds up my alley + i'm excited to check it out!

and i'll do my best to answer your question about hp, but i'm gonna put it under a cut because i know this is a contentious topic + i have a feeling my answer's gonna get long--so if anyone doesn't want 2 read abt my conflicting hp-fandom thoughts, just scroll away please xx

so, quite honestly, i'm in agreement with you that the entire franchise is tainted by jkr. the truth is that it was never really my intention to join the fandom--i read a single fic because it went viral on tiktok, then decided to rewrite the fic from another character's pov just for fun. at that point, i hadn't read any other hp fic and had never been involved in any kind of online fandom space, and although i'd read the hp books + watched the movies growing up i hadn't touched them in years + was so far removed from the franchise that i vaguely remembered hearing jkr had said some terfy stuff, but wasn't aware of the extent to which her politics were like. actively and significantly causing real-life harm.

anyway, i'd done a rewrite for fun of another story i liked and had posted it on ao3, and that had received a handful of people commenting + talking about the story with me as i wrote but had remained pretty self-contained + small. i was expecting the same sort of thing with the hp fic i rewrote, but instead someone posted about it on tiktok and it went viral, and then suddenly there were thousands of people reading every ch update and hundreds of comments. like i said, i had never been involved in an online fandom space before, so i sort of awkwardly stumbled into it and tried to figure out what i was doing as i finished up writing the fic. this was at a point in my life where i'd recently moved to a different country and had to go back in the closet after being publicly out for years, and this online fandom space became my only queer community and a bit of a lifeline in that way. i started making actual friends and talking to people + getting more deeply involved in the community aspect of things.

at the same time, i started actually educating myself on jkr + her politics + her impact, and the more i learned the more uncomfortable i became with being part of anything hp-related. now, i've been writing hp fic for almost two years and 'active' in the fandom for ~one and a half, and despite being grateful for the friends i've made and treasuring the space i've been able to cultivate, i've become increasingly disenchanted with 'the fandom' as a whole and have increasingly found it to be a hostile space, so i've sort of taken a step back from broader engagement and more + more have limited my interaction to just my mutuals here on tumblr. unfortunately, i think many of the 'bad parts' of this fandom are somewhat built-in because of the source material; there are a lot of people who agree with jkr's politics to varying extents and that can make it kind of a miserable place to be sometimes. i know many people insist that hp can be completely removed from jkr, but i don't think that's the case, and i've talked on my blog before about the fact that her politics are built into the very foundations of the text, so i think it's necessary to acknowledge her influence if we want to actually engage with hp at all in a way that isn't just perpetuating her politics.

all that being said, the point i'm at currently is that i'm not really sure that this fandom is a space i want to be a part of forever. again--i understand how it can be lifeline for some people and a queer community they might not have elsewhere, because that's been the case for me. but for me personally, as much as i value my own carved-out space, it doesn't completely outweigh the negatives that i have found myself coming into contact with more and more in this fandom. writing hp fic is also something that i keep strictly separate from 'real life,' contained solely in this online space, because i know that any engagement with hp is a red flag for many, many trans people and i don't want to bring it outside of this space. within this online space, i don't keep it a secret that i write hp fic; it's right at the top of my blog so that anyone who wants to can easily block and unfollow me. i only post my fics on ao3, where they are clearly tagged as harry potter fanfiction, and i only post about hp fic + fandom stuff on this blog, which was specifically created for that purpose. i've requested that people no longer post about my hp fics on platforms like tiktok where the algorithm could send it out onto anyone's fyp, and that request is also in my pinned faq. keeping my hp fic as contained as possible to only people who are already engaging with hp fic is one way that i try to mitigate any harm that might be caused by my fics contributing to hp's ongoing popularity.

the other ways i try to mitigate potential harm are by actively discouraging people from giving any financial support to hp + jkr and by being very vocal about my politics on this page, so that anyone who is following me will be getting pro-trans and anti-gender essentialism politics along with any hp engagement. i also don't engage with hp uncritically; i am specifically critical of the shitty politics in the books both in my posts on this blog and my fics themselves. i don't make it a secret that i think the books are politically rotten all the way down through to the foundations.

none of this is to say that there's, like...a Right Way to engage with this content or a set of rules that, if followed, Absolve All Shittiness. this is just an explanation of the personal evaluations i've had to weigh when it comes to deciding how i'm going to interact with content that is fundamentally opposed to my own politics. and again, i don't blame people who think that any amount of engagement is morally untenable and completely block it out. this is a growing source of cognitive dissonance in my own life, and i'm increasingly considering whether/for how much longer i want to continue to write fic + be involved in hp fandom. but for the time being, i'm still here + still writing fic, and i guess my feeling is that any harm that fic causes is a drop in the bucket, and even if i were to stop writing it wouldn't necessarily have a huge impact either way. i'm just some random guy online like everyone else; even though i talk about politics, that doesn't mean that i'm asking to be held up as some sort of moral standard, nor do i think anyone should be expected to be 100% politically perfect in every action they take--like, for me, writing hp fic kind of falls into the same category as like...eating mcdonalds even though i think factory farming is fucked, or buying + wearing makeup sometimes even though i think the beauty industry is fundamentally corrupt, or paying to see the new guardians of the galaxy movie in theaters even though i think marvel movies are us military propaganda. i don't think "no ethical consumption under capitalism" is an excuse to completely abandon any attempt to mitigate the harm our actions might cause, but it does matter to me the way in which someone is engaging with a fundamentally broken/corrupt piece of media beyond simply whether or not they're engaging at all. at the end of the day, it's up to everyone on their own to evaluate where they draw the line on hp, and i am not looking to make that judgment for anybody else considering that my own thoughts + feeling about it are still changing.

[dandelionandkrindle]

posting this here under a cut instead of on r/trans where it probably should be (but i can't stand reddit), in the vague hopes someone can give me some kind of advice.

so my gf is currently transitioning and has basically told me that she doesn't feel like she should be dating anyone while she's experiencing intense gender dysphoria and related depression. she's just started hrt this month but probably won't be able to afford and schedule her surgeries for another couple of months at least. she's also not publicly out (just to friends and family but her family is....not great about it) and i know she's scared to be out because where she currently lives isn't a safe country for trans people (which is like an oxymoron but some places are Worse y'know).

we're still in contact but she's slowly shut down more and more and thinks that she's dragging me down or holding me back from being with someone better (even though i've assured her that's not the case). i've always been super affirming regarding her appearance and that helped initially but it's at a point where she just doesn't believe me and then she feels bad for that. she also completely refuses financial help and says it makes her feel like a burden etc. right now i'm just sending the occasional supportive text, i don't want to smother her, but i do worry she'll cut me off completely out of some misguided idea that i'm better off without her.

i've been educating myself as much as possible on transitioning and dysphoria, i wrote her a list of things she might like to try even just at home like femme outfit ideas, hairstyles, makeup tips etc. things that might give her those more euphoric moments. i've sent her flowers, bought her 'feminine' gifts, talked about braiding her hair, going shopping with her etc. all the stuff i know she's sad she missed out on from being closeted. but it's really hard in a long-distance relationship to help her in a more material way. she won't be able to move until the end of this year at least and i guess i'm scared abt what might happen in that time.

i told her i'm happy to wait, months, or years even, until she feels ready to be with me. it doesn't matter because it feels like i've been waiting my whole life for her, what's a couple of years compared to that. i just don't know what else i can do in the meantime, short of getting on a plane and being there for her irl for a few days or a week at least but she completely shut that idea down and i know she's scared that i'm not going to enjoy being with her in person especially when she hates herself so much right now.

which is ????? to me. she's so sweet and kind and she's said the most insanely romantic things to me, she's clever and funny (my lil comedian fr) and she looks like a fucking model LIKE it's honestly incomprehensible that a girl like this calls herself trash. but at the same time, i know from childhood trauma and years of depression/suicidal ideation how easy it is to hate every part of yourself to the point you wish you were never born. and that makes my heart ache for her so much and makes me wish i could help even more. i just feel like i need direction, am i doing the right things could i be doing more is being here for her enough. i just don't know.

[isa-ghost]

Thinking abt how like an entire decade before QSMP, Latin Americans and their culture were already so present in my life and I never really properly thought abt that, or how much I genuinely love and enjoy it.

It fills me with so much nostalgia and I love seeing and hearing about certain Latam things that I already know because I'm already familiar with them from the past.

My closest childhood friends were a massive Puerto Rican family, their mom treated my sister and I like her own. We were taken with on outings, given clothes and meals, spent nearly every day all day hanging out with them either at their place or around my neighborhood.

I was the oldest of the group and would sometimes help look after or play with the toddler of the family, who absolutely fucking adored me. I remember just naturally picking up on (or perhaps autistically echoing) some of their Spanish slang, like "chancla" or "sala," and their mom absolutely thrilled to hear this White preteen just casually using it (and saying it correctly!) I told the toddler to find her chanclas and their mom overheard me and lit up like a Christmas tree about it.

I never bat an eye at how they lived, even if things were dirty or broken or whatever. To my 11+ year old ass, they were just poor like my family. The economy sucks, there are more important things to prioritize besides cleaning and sometimes you just can't afford to fix stuff that's broken. Shrug, it happens. That, and I already had a vague clue at that point that struggling poc families were often given even less help than struggling White families. I just wasn't online enough at that point to hear stories from poc about just how bad the disparities are. But still, even at that age, with barely any clue about the real extent of it, I still never thought about how they lived like a xenophobic asshole would. I just kinda accepted That's How It Be Sometimes and rolled with it. I remember even helping them clean the house sometimes. My sister and I were basically honorary family, so why not?

As I got more self-aware, I'd find it so funny that since I spent so much time with them, I'd catch myself (this time definitely autistically) code switching and talking like them until I went home and eventually went back to speaking like,, idk, an average White Midwesterner I guess?? Sometimes I even catch it happening present day when I hang out for a long time with my irl Mexican friends.

One of my mom's best friends online (who we got to meet in person) was also Latina, and she taught us other misc Spanish words and funny stories about them. To this day my mom, sister & I will yell "AFUERA!" at each other and start giggling. It's especially sweet, because that friend ended up passing away, so now it's kind of said in memory of her. She and one of my mom's other Latina friends taught me baby's first Latin Folklore, which hilariously was La Llorona; it freaked my sister out.

In hindsight, I really deeply appreciate getting to experience and learn about it all firsthand before seeing stuff online. I've realized now that it's given me just a pinch more of an advantage spotting harmful stereotypes and microaggressions (damn, it's almost like if you take the time to learn, you won't be such a shithead /s). Not to mention I knew to ignore any garbage said by racists I encountered irl. I'm not the best at wording things sometimes, so I generally let actual Latin people call out bs like that (that and White Saviorism is cringe), but I always try to be good about boosting what they say and backing them up.

And coming into QSMP last year with all that knowledge through experience (and seeing some posts on here from Latino people abt dif things), it made things so much more fun. I'd hear things I was familiar with and get so excited, which sometimes felt so dumb and silly bc I'm sure from a Latino's POV I was just some random ass gringa getting hyped over the most mundane shit.

But it still made QSMP more fun, and I loved getting to learn even more Latin culture through it, because I've long since fallen out of touch with the family I was friends with, and even so, what I was learning from them was specifically Puerto Rican, Latin USAmerican based. There are so many other places in Latin America I never got to learn about until QSMP. Like holy shit, Brazil is so fucking cool and I want to go there some day so bad.

It's been so fucking cool to learn things from other parts of Latin America, especially from people that actually live in the countries, not just USAmerican Latinos.

Idk, I just found myself reflecting on everything for a moment and I'm realizing just how much I appreciate what I've gotten to learn and experience. Latin Americans and their culture are so fucking cool.

[universal-kitty]

Hurm, hurm, blog thoughts... Probably gonna get a little personal, but I keep idly spinning my wheels on what I'm doing with this blog.

Like. There's the Tumblr Scare to consider. Still thinking I'll likely move my fics to Ao3, since I don't want to lose them, and I'd almost rather bet on their longevity compared to Tumblr's rn. (Especially under current ownership; maybe...just maybe....someone else should take the reign. I would love to believe staff is as kindly as ex-staff say they are, but everything abt what happened prior still keeps me nervous.)

But there's also IRL stuff going on in my personal life that's... Hmm.

As mentioned before, continuing to look into OSDD as a possible diagnosis for what I've been going through almost all of my life. I thought it was quite normal- based on where and how I entered Fandom- to have characters in your head that spoke to you. They lived your life with you, offering commentary, and etc. Funnily enough, it was only "studying" fickin that I realized there was something else going on there....and that also led to alterhumanity (and geez, did that explain twenty more things-) and THAT is what led to plurality.

...Which has also been a journey and a half, considering my therapist can only do so much. I did the MID, it's just talking about this through parts language and...basically awaiting an appointment- in some future time- to get answers. (I want them, but am unsure if I want an on-paper diagnosis... Suppose we'll see if it means the difference between obtaining specific therapy for this.)

And THAT'S only relevant cause some F/Os are also fictives. Or were F/Os that became introjects, due to the comfort they gave me. (I will not specify who, for personal reasons. If you're curious, I may be willing to entrust my system blog to those who inquire for it.)

OH, and I made it into an apartment!!! That's so incredibly new to me. Nice, but trying to catch this space up with what's needed is...tricky.

Boyf and I have a lot of stuff- put together- and so trying to mentally assemble where shelves will go to bring it all together... Y'know? (But I'm excited to put some lowkey shrines together for certain faves.)

...Other misc. stuff I can't remember now. Reworking my self-inserts on the [quiet] side. Uhhhh, vtubing ideas. More lore for said SIs and ships, and also messing around with certain ideas that could streamline some of my Thoughts?? (We'll see on this. I'm hemming and hawing over it, since idk if this is From Me or outside influences again... Yes, I'm being vague!! I'm allowed.)

Anyways, that's my little update!! I've got drabbles I can post again, at some point, but... Real goal is to eventually post stories again. Esp so I can streamline the commission process, going forward.

(...In the meantime, I am ages behind writing for my LoZ stuff-)

[madeintimeland]

8 and 32 for the "talk about" asks? :D

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

god i get so embarrassed answering this kind of question irl usually i will just tell them my high school honors or w/e but in reality its. the fact im rank 70 worldwide in audiosurf 2 (peaked at 69 but ive been away from the game for a bit)

i dedicated so much fucking time grinding this game and ive genuinely seen myself improve at it more than i have at any other talent ive ever tried to refine or practice before in my life. and i feel ashamed cuz its just a game and one im miserably addicted to to boot but also music fun and i think the things i can do now are pretty impressive. i still never got my recording settings working right so i never posted stuff to yt but id like to eventually

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

OH...this is a really good one actually, i recently came across this yt video on my recommendations randomly;

this probably says a lot about my upbringing but i went here multiple times as a little kid even for bdays sometimes and i have so many...really vague memories of this place but its one of those things that you just know has worked its way into your subconscious in some inescapable way. like i see it in my dreams n shit. so seeing this about how its apparently god fucking awful nowadays makes me so sad, itd be nice to see it cleaned up while having its authentic aesthetic preserved..... i dunno man its always sad hearing about places that have deteriorated but it hit a little harder when its somewhere you have personal connection to. and it was so random to have it show up in my reccs i dont even watch that much travel stuff nor have i googled anything abt the place in years. strange!

[ectoamerican]

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN INTERACTING WITH MY BLOG - Customizable Edition

BASICS !

Name / Alias: Spooky Pronouns: he/they Blog type: single muse | Multi-muse | non selective | semi selective | selective| mutuals only | private | other (specify) Type of muses: canon | OCs | both | other (specify)

GENERALITIES ! Triggers people MUST tag: animal death Interest tracker / checker: I have it and it's mandatory | I have it, it's not mandatory but I'm more likely to follow bad / interact with the people who fill it | I have one and I prefer it if people fill it in | I have it but it's to people whether to fill it or not | I don't have one | other (specify) Reblog karma: I practise it | I practise it sometimes | I don't practise it | I always reblog memes from the source | indifferent | other (specify) Rule passwords: I have one and it's mandatory | I have one and it's optional | I don't have one | I send passwords | don't sent passwords | I have to hype myself up to send one

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT

please read my rules

please be patient with me. irl stuff can get in my way or leave me too drained to do stuff, even if i WANT to write

the basic stuff, no metagaming, godmodding, infomodding, etc

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND

I am 100% okay with my rp partner not matching my reply length. Be it shorter or longer. (heck, if they make it longer then I'll feel better abt my next reply being longer.) HOWEVER, if I give a paragraph or two, I will expect more than one line. which is what I actually got one time.

if my rp partner goes into a thread with me assuming something about my muse even though I make it clear that my muse is canon divergent. I'm absolutely free to IM if you have questions! I'm friendly and don't bite, i promise. QwQ

when i can't figure out your blog. please, readability is the most important thing to me. which is why the most I do is small text. I will change my theme if I think even one thing is making it unreadable or even slightly harder to read. bright harsh colors as well, makes the blog a mess to read anything on.

not trimming your posts. it makes it hard to follow whats going on sometimes. even if tumblr now makes long posts auto readmore. (at least it does for me)

i do prefer that ppl tag their posts most of the time, but that's not really a requirement if it's not like for a trigger or something. it just helps me search for stuff on their blogs if i can't find it through our notes.

2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT (SOFT/HARD)BLOCKING

if the blog looks like a bot in some way

if it's a personal who has repeatedly reblogged something after being asked not to

if it's someone i've known in the past to make me uncomfortable

2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW / SOFTBLOCK A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH

ooc drama between people, vague posts, bullying

minor/adult ships

very rarely, if they're spamming TOO MUCH ooc stuff, untagged or other wise, in a short amount of time. I mean like, many posts that are actually ooc not having anything to do with their character. not like aesthetic posts, headcanons, or art. I'm also not talking abt like, PSAs or updates on the mun's health/lack of energy. i get that it's your blog. but i didn't want to follow a blog that's being treated more like a personal blog.

also very rarely, if my dash is going too fast and it's clear someone isn't going to interact with me i might unfollow just to make things easier for myself to keep up with. but again, that doesn't happen very often.

if it's clear a blog has been abandoned. if they show signs of activity later tho, i may refollow. bc i know irl stuff happens, u kno.

2-5 REASON YOU DON'T FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE

if their muse is from a series i am uncomfortable with. (used to love HP, but i can't look at anything from it now. for example.)

if they ASK why i haven't followed them back. just feels weird, man. I will then not follow out of spite for how uncalled for that question is. nobody is owed a follow. not even me.

[flamagenitus]

I use my twitter too much for vague descriptions of my concerns. I would like to maybe say that stuff somewhere less public! However, it is mostly drunk-posting, which by definition isn't always level-headed.

I've always felt vaguely fine about my tumblr, in that I wouldn't say this stuff to an irl person, but I'm cool enough w it to have my online name associated. Making ur decision therefore pls think: would u tell ur classfriends abt this?

[pepprs]

i like uh. literally cannot believe what is happening is still happening btw.pain and suffering (update omg i hit tag limit CRINGE but i think i was done anyway lol)

[nadineselfships-archived]

Me: i'm feeling masc rn

Person: *ignores me and refers to me with she/her within 0.2 seconds*

Me: a h

—

Me: i'm feeling masc but dw abou-

My f/o's: YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME TODAY BABY!! MY GORGEOUS HUSBAND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! *refers to me with he/they the rest of the day*

Me: *ugly sobbing* I l o v e y o u

[lizbotw]

+ you’re right i find him quite funny ngl bc he’s really blunt, you know when you bump into someone & you’re like “omg sOrRy!!” out loud but in your head you’re like “watch where you’re fuckin going clownass bitch” THATS ME LMFAOO so i bet tsukishima is just constantly,, salty on the outside whereas that’s who i am on the inside, i’m just good at hiding it 🤪 i think that analysis of good/bad traits is so cool, i’ve never heard it! my favs are suga & noya so i guess those are my good traits(2/2)

BROOO lmao me too (i used to have to deal with some rly crowded hallways before so that happened... often). and yes the outside vs inside thing!!! i don’t mind tsukki as much as i used to (i’ve read some nice fics about him), but if i met him irl i would definitely hate him. just people who are outwardly blunt and rude idk ajansjaj it just sort of gives me whiplash whenever i meet someone and they’re like that,,, like bro,,, what happened to it being socially acceptable to keep ur rude thoughts to urself ugh 😠 but yeah fictional characters vs real people is a whole different thing so tsukki’s on my okay list (bakugou gets the green light too bc he’s fictional but irl i would probably avoid him lol...)

and yeah, i thought it was cool when i first heard it too! i don’t know the specifics bc i feel like there was more to it but oh well. ooo suga and noya, you have good taste 😌 based on what you’ve told me, i feel like people could definitely see you as similar to those two lol

[jenlog]

Do you believe there's a valid place for call out posts in the community?

i don't think i've ever seen a callout that actually made me substantially change my opinion abt the person being called out, but i've seen a lot that lowered my impression of the person making the callout.

one nice thing is that i don't think i've ever seen a mutual make or share a callout post, i only find out abt them bc ppl i follow will vague abt how stupid the posts are and i'll go and find them just to watch some drama that has nothing to do with me. my online social circles have been doing fine for like a decade, so make of that what you will

the one time i've seen a "callout" that was actually useful involved an irl community and related to unambiguous physical abuse. i hesitate to even call this callout bc it involved actual in-person encounters with direct material harm, rather than like, toxic online behavior

so ig in terms of online stuff i don't really see much benefit to callout posts, they're in practice primarily a way to get the upper hand intracommunity slapfights or to harass random ppl for ultimately fairly petty ideological reasons

edit: i also don't accept the framing of tumblr as a "community"