#this is actually just me self promoting because i have my cousin's blog now.....

[copperbadge]

Sam, I must know what sort of things Gerald blogs about on his Tumblr. How old or active is his account? Is his identity a secret?

It's actually a reference to an older post where @dignitywhatdignity pointed out there was no way Ger wasn't on Tumblr. :D Reproduced my response below -- first, Photogram:

I can picture Jerry’s Photogram in my head very clearly because I’ve had to research the children of rich people and their fucking obnoxious instas, and Jerry’s is probably equal parts expensive cars, club glam, and scenic vistas, but mainly because that’s like…what you do. It’s just kind of the done thing, like wearing a shirt when you leave the house. 

Update: Gerald's photogram has shifted radically -- he still treats it as a Thing You Do but especially now that he's a dad it's a lot more Parenting Lifestyle stuff. Because a few of my friends have had babies in the last two years and I had to research the babies my fictional characters were having, the algo now thinks I have baby fever, so I get a lot of Parent Influencer content, and I bet Gerald does a lot of sly fun-poking at that stuff. Like, posting a photo of a bottle warmer and a bib-washing tabletop machine with commentary like "You cannot buy any of this in the shop I don't have, but if you're going to buy one stupid thing as a parent, buy the bib washer. Not a single shirt you own will be unstained but the bibs will be immaculate."

They don't post pictures of Serafina, though -- there are a couple of official portraits for PR reasons but day-to-day that shit is locked to friends and family only. (There are special websites for this, I have friends who use them, it's pretty neat.) The only time random candids of her are out there are usually when someone snaps Michaelis toting her around Fons-Askaz with her cousins -- the "King Emeritus and Royal Ducklings" are becoming a very familiar sight. At least once a week Michaelis takes Noah and Joan out for an afternoon in town with Sera in a snugli and the twins in a stroller. Don't ask him about his stepson and grandkids unless you really want to hear about them.

Meanwhile he also definitely has a secret super-weird tumblr and nobody can figure out if he’s roleplaying or shitposting or what when he posts stuff like “The family groupchat is all well and good until it starts heavily impacting local politics.” Are those horses really his or is he just visiting a barn? Is that…a photo of a plate full of appetizers at “My cousin’s latest house party” with Angela Merkel in the background? He certainly has some strong feelings about Princess Diana and equally strong feelings about Tsar Nicholas. Why is he one of only three people the official Eddie Rambler tumblr follows?

Gerald's tumblr has also slowed down since the diagnosis and becoming a dad, but the content is still random as hell and more authentically wild than his photogram. Again, no photos of Serafina, but it's very evident that whoever is running that particular tumblr has had a kid, or is pretending they have. He gets asks accusing him of faking shit for clout and every time he does, his response is simply to write the ask on a sheet of paper in longhand and photograph it in front of a famous European landmark and/or political figure.

Alanna tolerates this because it does keep him out of mischief and sometimes he takes Serafina with him to whatever landmark he's visiting, and she gets to have a quiet apartment to herself for a while.

(”Eddie Rambler’s on tumblr?” someone asks, and someone else replies “Name me one other TV chef brave AND stupid enough to be on tumblr” and then you realize it is in fact the official Eddie Rambler tumblr saying that.)

Eddie doesn't post to his official Tumblr anymore because he rarely has time and doesn't need to do the self-promotion, but Katie in Communications checks his inbox once a week and brings him the most entertaining asks to respond to. He's currently hovering somewhere around the level of Neil Gaiman in terms of "Famous people who are inexplicably on Tumblr."

Ultimately there develops a running joke that Jerry’s tumblr is run by either a) an upper-class vampire (rude) or b) the elected king of a micronation on the Mediterranean coast with a name nobody can spell (super rude!) 

One time Gerald accidentally pocket-posted a blurry selfie to his Tumblr but it was so poorly focused and clearly accidental that a bunch of people got mad at him for violating the privacy of the Duke of Shivadlakia. He had to pretend to have a week-long beef with himself to save face. He eventually got Noah to take a selfie with him, blanked out Noah's face, and then claimed the Duke had forgiven him and here was a selfie with him as proof.

It's a hard old life, being Duke of Shivadlakia, but someone's got to do it.

[ingravinoveritas]

Firstly i dont think she adjusted since moving to the UK what do u think?

And secondly this post feels that its all about her again like and the character is based on her in real life but the project was longed talk about in 2017 as michael said on the Graham norton show to which michael was with Sarah at that point. It's again trying to be the centre of attention again and stay irrelevant just cos she not getting it from michael

What ur thoughts on this recent of post of Al

So, apologies that it took me all week to answer this--I feel like the entirety of the month of February has just caught up with me, which essentially feels like a lot of tiredness hitting all at once.

I did see this on Monday, however, and I just...am again at something of a loss. I got a bit down on myself over my response to her Insta story from the first preview of Nye and thinking I was overreacting/reading too much into things...and then this happens.

The first thing I would say is that I agree with you that AL is making it all about her again. The post itself comes across as PR, which it likely was because Georgia also shared the same clip that day--albeit with a caption that was actually about Michael/centered on the show. And the contrast becomes even more stark when you look at this post from Caroline Sheen. Caroline is Michael's cousin and she had a small role in The Way, and her post is much more personal and essentially what you would expect from someone who is close to someone in the production. Which subsequently makes AL's post look even more like PR in comparison.

But I think what irritates me the most about Anna's post is that it's yet another instance of her making a dig at Wales. Talking of patterns as I tend to do, she did this previously in September of last year (the #FromManhattantoTonypandy hashtag), and in both of these cases it's her reminding everyone of where she lived before, and likely where she still wishes she lived. In thinking of your initial question, AL may have adjusted to Wales in some ways, but it's clearly not where she belongs or thinks she belongs. I've written previously on my blog about her likely thinking she would be living the celebrity life in New York or London, and Wales was almost certainly a place she didn't even know existed until Michael. So this entire post feels like it's tinged with passive-aggressive resentment as a result.

Let me be clear: In no way do I think that moving to a new country is an easy thing, and it is more than understandable that someone might not love every single thing about the place in which they live, especially if they are an outsider coming from a completely different culture. But the thing is, The Way is literally about Wales. It is entirely focused on Welsh identity and history, and it is a project into which Michael has poured a tremendous amount of his passion and energy and time, which speaks to what you mentioned about him talking about this since 2017.

Why, then, would you make such a snarky comment on a post promoting a show so centered on Wales? That your own partner directed, no less? At best, it comes across as thoughtless and self-centered, and at worst, as deliberately disrespectful.

I can also fully understand why Michael put out a tweet of his own promoting the second episode less than an hour after Anna posted that story. If we are to say that Georgia is a good representative for David on social media--which she arguably is, most of the time--then Anna, by contrast, is the worst possible representative for Michael. And a post like the one above only further highlights how mismatched and wrong for each other they truly are. I also think it's pained him to refrain from tweeting for this long, and now he finally has a reason to start again, for which both we and Michael can be thankful.

So yes, those are my thoughts on AL's story from earlier this week. Glad to hear from my followers as well about your reactions to this. Thank you for writing in! x

[kyaruun]

Since when did the graphics suck they're literally so cute

This one is literally embedded in my mind like I ASSOCIATE this with you

It isssss literally so cute but your other graphics are also so cute wthhhhhhh

Buuut I can do some tutorials on things you wanna know that I can do? I've been wanting to make a tutorial for a while now actually

. Me too like I don't have a schedule and while I write on a "rotation", I spend so muxh time and energy on irl things that I don't get much time to write. I literally haven't gotten through my reqs from last August. Rip my 800 event from. Before then??? Cannot even keep track it's been like a year

My follow count is only that high bcs I wrote for haikyuu (in 2020 its peak) then I joined the genshin bus kinda early (?) Which is still huge and I wrote misc fics for whatever else, and it was also my edit blog??? And now I'm here shitposting so I got followers from like lots of places

The way yours is in the 700s and a loooot older than mine pls I'm also in the 700s in nazukisser.... insanity

Well personally i love your leo so I think that it should happen because you deserve it. And writing a series.... yes.... smaus are so fun I have domicile on nazukisser for reference if you want it and my fav smau ever is club stupid by tumblr user kodzuvii highly recommend I just become a redhead kita's cousin and tendou's best friend number 1 miracle girl and down bad for suna rintarou whenever I read it.

WAAAA I can't wait to see your revamp !!! Thank you.. I always try to have some sort of match (character/color/style) all throughout!! If you need help/opinions/etc lmk!!!

Right like what happened . We were thriving. Then we boomed for a second and died. Like I see the nazuna x reader tag and ME AND KAZE ARE THE ONLY ONES like bruh? And my fics have been flopping tho it seems everyone's have been flopping too

Yeah the only thing keeping me tied down here is the server..... it's like my lifetime... come back we miss you

I MISS NURI TOO... bee has arknights now....I miss.... and runanananna....... ate swanee's writing.... SHE DOES THAT TO US TOO not that I hate it but she drops like a couple of lines in snippets and dips and I'm like *SCREEEECHES*

If you come back to my server we welcome you back we miss you :(((

I can only be grateful that some of us are left tho.... i7 is so dead and e7 LMFAO??? I was legit the only one it was so darned sad

THAT'S THE ONLY ONE I LIKE!! i love watching vids about journaling and that kind of thing and they make the cutest decorated polaroids so i wanted to do something like that but very cutesy themed,, spring made me think of picnics so gingham <3 i actually played around with a few similar concepts like polaroid + random stickers and i planned to make banners with that but uuuu there are so many characters,, can't keep my focus for too long. i think they came out cute but it's probably too late to use them </3

i always wonder about what do people use to edit their pics because i was born a ps girlie and i still don't know how to use ps properly oops making your themes look nice and cohesive,, those cute pinned etc etc people who edit icons and make them look super aesthetic

i think i never tried to promote my blog because followers don't feel like an integral part of the process for me. i just write what comes to mind and share it with the world: if people like it i'm absolutely delighted and if they don't well,, at the end of the day most of my writing has been fun for me ^^ like come on i've written things that are silly and self indulgent and they worked fine and i'm here like. wow

i have considered writing for more series but the thing is the media i like has a fandom of like. 2.5 people on the good days. so it really doesn't make too much sense to even try that <.< genshin fandom scares tf out of me so i'll keep my extra fluffy albedo thoughts to myself. the bazillion "childe being a dumbass in love" posts. kazuha writing poetry. oops. getting flashbacks to the time i almost made a hypmic blog but i stopped myself at the last second out of embarrassment

i'm torn on whether a) people just aren't interested in that kind of content anymore (no way) or b) people DO read our stuff, they simply don't interact. not even a like. the migration of people from other social media into tumblr,, like sorry but i've been here since 2016? and it gets worst for writers every day </3

i have an immense amount of cute enstars thoughts a day and i feel like if i can't share them i will combust (my best friend has to deal with me every day),, it's mostly cute romantic stuff with my favs and my ocs, for obv reasons so i'm like uuuu should i even tell this to someone it's just embarrassing. like only other enstarries could understand why i keep rotating this bunch of dorks around my brain and getting the biggest serotonin boost out of it ueeee

i kind of miss being in a server with other people. i've been feeling very lonely lately due to uni so i think that'd be good for my mental health but at the same time,, i don't want to go back to talking once in a blue moon you know? ooo to be an anxious mess every day of your life.... like i get nervous so easily and i know i'll make someone uncomfortable so i simply keep quiet or i don't know how to join conversations because my social skills are -1. i'm a bit of a mess TT

as a bonus for reading all of this, wips of some of the banners/wallpapers? i was working on the last time. rei was meant to be a light pink/purple ish kind of shade but i don't mind how these came out either ^^ i need to print the cgs as polaroids again

[sagendipity]

reminder i'm sage i used to be notplanningshit until i accidentally deleted my blog so now im reposting my works!

info: quackity x reader, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no warnings

on frizzy hair and the pursuit of perfection

Intellectually, in the rational side of your brain, you know that what you’re feeling is stupid.

You see the Instagram posts talking about the importance of self-affirmation and mental health. You see the tweets saying that people are more than their family’s perception of them. You realize that having a condescending and judgmental family is almost a right of passage for your generation.

These are all things you know, intellectually. But knowing something intellectually does jack shit for actually convincing your heart of whatever you know. You can yell at yourself all you want, but it’s clearly not your rational brain making you tear up at yet another text from your dad that was along the lines of “cool, could be better, though.”

You just want someone, just once, to celebrate an achievement with you. You want to be excited to share something with someone, without fear of them scoffing in the face of your pride and excitement. In your family- hell, in the world, certainly- someone has always done better, and you’re damn sure to be reminded of such.

It’s been years of this same behavior, ever since you can remember. It’s not just your dad, either, it’s your whole family- aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. The whole town you grew up in had this haughty, arrogant air about it, where everyone was constantly competing, even if there was no reason for it. Take the hardest classes, get the least sleep, get the biggest scholarship. Even your friends would flex their better test scores at you, and refuse to help you with the homework, in case you somehow got a better score on a test than them. You know it’s how they were raised, they’re just a product of their environment and don’t know how bad it hurts, but it still stung then, and probably always will. You’re still in contact with a few of them, and it’s just more of the same whenever you exchange a handful of quick texts every couple months.

You know you should stop giving information about your achievements to them, but when your dad texts and asks how you are, there’s not much you can reply with other than “good, got a promotion at work!” From there, it’s a slippery slope of him asking what new benefits you got, and then the judgmental few moments where the gray dots disappear and reappear while he tries to compose his thoughts about your inadequacy in the least-abrasive way a middle-aged man can. That is to say, not un-abrasively at all. In fact, his words are often delivered with the finesse of low-grit sandpaper on soft wood.

Well, could be more. Work harder and maybe you’ll get an increase next month. I got a lot of bonuses at work when I was your age. All you have to do is take the bad shifts and get some good customer reviews. You’ll get there.

You stare at the fresh new message on your phone screen before clicking it off with a bone-deep sigh, your eyes betraying your rational side by, again, tearing up. You shove the heels of your hands into your eyes and rub until the tears are forced away and you see spots.

That’s how Alex finds you, sat on the foot of your shared bed with your hands rubbing fiercely at your eyes. He’s probably just come to grab a hoodie- the setting sun brings with it a cool breeze that washes through your open windows and cools the house from the warmth it’d gathered from the day’s sun.

“You good?” He asks, opening his closet door and pulling out a hoodie. He wrestles it on over his head as he waits for your response- when he pushes his head out the other end, hair mussed and static-y, you still haven’t answered. “Baby?”

He comes and sits down next to you. Your eyes, red-rimmed but still dry, track his movements before flicking to catalog every tuft of disheveled hair protruding from his head. With a superficial smile, you reach up to smooth his long, black locks back and down into place. It doesn’t matter; he’s going to slip on a beanie sooner or later, but for now, you distract yourself by combing gentle fingers through the soft strands.

“Not that I don’t appreciate this,” Alex murmurs, brown eyes searching your face for an answer to what has you upset. “But what’s wrong?”

“Just my dad,” you whisper, not trusting your voice not to crack. You avoid his gaze, keeping your eyes fixed stubbornly on his hair as you finish your work. “There. You looked like a hedgehog.”

He huffs a little laugh, but scoots closer to you and grabs a hand out of your lap- you’d curled your hands into tight fists, your nails digging little red crescents into your palm. He uncurls the hand he’s holding and reaches for the other, but you save him the work by instead grabbing onto your own thigh tightly, redirecting the frustration. He rubs small circles into the aching skin of your other palm while he waits for you to gather yourself and explain, now that the ice has been broken on the topic.

“He always acts like whatever I do is just not quite good enough for him. They all do- him, my mom, even my fucking friends.” You rub your free hand down your face, trying to alleviate some tension. It does not work. “I don’t know why I’m still upset. They’ve been doing it forever.”

“That’s probably why you’re still upset. You hope they’d grown up enough to stop doing that.” Alex presses his thumb into the center of your palm. It grounds you, and you swallow around the lump in your throat.

“It’s not even a matter of immaturity- it’s not as simple as a pissing contest. It’s just who they are. They don’t think perfection exists, but they want me to achieve it anyways.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That sounds exhausting.”

He sounds so sincere, so genuine, like the idea of you being treated this way is deeply upsetting to him. You’d never really… experienced that. Someone recognizing your struggle, and admitting that it must fucking suck is something you’d never been graced with.

His brow is furrowed in a display of concern, eyes gentle and searching. He’s not lying, he means what he said, and he’s not going to follow it up with a “but-,”.

Eyes beginning to sting again, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on his shoulder. The soft fabric of his hoodie immediately calms you, along with the warmth you can feel emanating from him. It makes sense, after all, that the personification of pure sunshine would have such warmth about them.

Alex scoots forward, gathering you more closely in his arms, his legs awkwardly folded so that you can sit right in front of him. His hands come up to hold you, one fisting in the fabric of your sweatshirt, and the other resting on the back of your neck, gentle, but firm. You let out a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. Not going to cry.

“I got a promotion at work,” you mutter, taking a long, deep breath. You brace yourself, waiting for a dismissive response. “That’s what set my dad off- I got- he-.”

Your voice cracks, and you trail off with a small sigh, clutching at Alex’s hoodie even tighter. It’s thick and soft under your fingers, and you knead at it like a cat.

“A promotion?! Baby, that’s amazing!” Alex pulls back just enough to take a glance at you, his own expression steeling from excitement back to sadness as he sees that you are still fighting back tears. “Sweetheart, I think you’re the only person to ever cry after getting a promotion.”

A little laugh escapes your chest, huffy and wet, but still a laugh. Alex’s lips curl into a smile as he reaches up to smooth back some of your stray hairs, like you’d done for him a moment or two ago. You smile, reaching up to intercept his hand, and lace the two of you’s fingers together.

He squeezes your hand where it’s resting in his grip, looking at your linked fingers briefly. “Also, your family is wrong.”

“About what specifically?” You huff, wiping at your eyes for hopefully the final time.

“About perfection not existing. It does, and I know exactly what it looks like.” Despite the serious words, Alex is fighting back a smile. You narrow your eyes at him, already anticipating the next thing he’s going to say. “It looks like you, dumbass.”

You groan, feeling a hot blush rise to your cheeks immediately. You tip forward to bury yourself in Alex’s neck, this time hiding your flustered face and stupidly happy grin.

“I can feel your smile against my neck, you know.”

“Oh, fuck off-.”

With the hand that’s on the back of your neck, Alex coaxes you out of hiding just to press a kiss to your forehead. “Really. I am proud of you. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me about your achievements because of what your family has done to you.”

“Okay,” you whisper again, voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”

He hums in response, tilting his head and looking at you with what can only be described as pure fondness in his eyes. Then, he leans down to meet you for a delicate kiss, and your eyes finally stop stinging.

[thejosh1980]

Live Alive...

So much to write, so little time...I'll try to keep it short and focused.

Life has changed a lot here in northern New South Wales recently, but first, lets talk about the music...

It's just over 5 weeks since I performed my first live show after a 13 month break. I was a little concerned I couldn't pull off a show in my usual fashion, however I think in the end, every one, including me, was satisfied.

It is true, it's just like riding a bike...

Once I stepped up on stage to do my job, which is to put on the best show I could, I felt comfortable. I really enjoyed the moment, and didn't feel nervous or anxiety.

I met the drummer only minutes before we jumped on stage, it reminded me of the first show with Eddy and the Backfires in mid 2008 in Bottrop. I met Eddy and then bam, on stage to play a show together... We continued to play together for another 5 years. Sometimes I watch the video (on youtube) and smile when I see Eddy's face light up from the get go, much like the singer 5 weeks ago. I was the right guy for the job, I knew what I was doing.

I've gotten used to that though, learning songs off a CD then playing without a band rehearsal, and usually it works well... One doesn't really learn the songs until they're played live anyhow, right? The groove and feeling is always little different once the energy of a live show kicks in.

I try to slip into the band's sound and style... Learning on the spot who to follow and figure out what's going to happen next. Sometimes that means I'm not fully concentrating on the crowd, and maybe even looking a little confused at the band, but it's the lead singer's job to work the crowd, my job is to support them in their work, and I can't do that if I'm trying to impress the girls in the front row instead of listening and watching the band.

There were quite a few restrictions in place in Australia in July, so festival attendee numbers were down. Only Queensland folks and a few New South Wales folks could join. Usually the much larger crowd is a mix from all over Australia. I did meet up with some old friends, and made a few new ones. Reminding me that not only do I love playing music, but I do enjoy the social aspect of being a musician, that is whenever my anxiety levels are manageable. It's also sweet that no matter how long I've been away, folks come and say hi, and we talk like no time has passed.

This show was meant to be the beginning of returning to regular live shows, the band are very interested in having me play with them in the future and gigs were (very) slowly coming in...

However, everything changed the next morning...

With the high of a fun show, I woke to my cousin offering me eggs and bacon for breaky, I said “hells yeah!”... I had decided I wanted to attend the festival that afternoon before driving home that evening, to catch up with more friends and see some of the bands I had only been hearing about while living in Europe.

The 10am news came on “South East Queensland Lockdown Begins at 4pm” ! Well there goes my plans for visiting the festival!! I had to freshen up, eat, pack up and head south and cross the border post haste. I didn't want to be stuck in QLD, or in traffic!

Some folks had tested positive near Brisbane, and the festival was in one of the areas of concern. The festival promoter had to cancel 1.5 days into a 3 day rockabilly weekender.

Once I crossed the border back into NSW I found out I had to isolate at home... Apparently they back dated the restrictions for returning residents.

Lucky us!

So, I had a week at home to isolate. I decided to get tested, it was a negative result. What else do you expect?

The situation at the time, wasn't too bad, but a pain in the butt. I had to isolate for a week or two, and then I'd be free in NSW to hang out.

Luckily our classes went online too... Another challenge to contend with... Online classes are a necessity these days, but it took a few weeks for me to get used to 'em... To settle into the new routine.

Anyhow, so there I am isolating at home... A week later, on Sunday evening, I am released from isolation as the QLD situation is under control and NSW ease their rules. Earlier than expected, winner winner chicken dinner!

But then... The very next day, Monday evening, the whole of NSW is thrown into lockdown because of Sydney's high case numbers and some regional cases coming to light.

It's 5 weeks after the show, and I have been in either home isolation or restrictions or code red type lockdowns (or whatever you want to call it) for 99.9% of the time...

Good times...

I'm not bagging the rules, I know they're there to help. It's OK, it is what it is... I can call friends and family, I can exercise and, I can play the guitar. What more could I ask for? - Probably a lot more, but I digress.

I have learnt to become adaptable... It's not uncommon for me to feel frustrated at change, but eventually I come around to it.

Now back to music...

The NSW lockdown does affect the band too, 2 band members live south of the border in NSW and 2 live north in QLD, which has few restrictions...

Can we even get together to play? Are shows being booked? If we play a show on either side of the border, do we have to self isolate afterwards? It's a bit like living in 2 seperate countries at the moment, each with its own rules.

Leading up to the show, I hadn't done any live streams, I hadn't worked on music production or songwriting, however I was looking forward to the show. I wasn't really thinking too much about about the future... I've been concentrating a lot on my studies (which is another blog for another day)...

A week after the show I was a little put off by the isolation and restrictions, however now I am starting to take small steps to get back into playing for myself. What I mean is, I have worked on some song production, song marketing, song writing and even looking into working with musicians to put my own band together!!

How cool is that? To me, that is very cool...

Now the small steps mean I have also been co-writing with a friend, starting to put more of my music online (like Bandcamp... coming soon!) and thinking how I can start over again... Cause that's what this is really about...

While I do have a band who hires me to play their music (which I enjoy and am grateful for, whenever we'll actually be able to play together) I really need to start on my own music career. That is a big step! So time to break it down into smaller steps...

When I first moved back home, I had a few offers to jam with old friends, and didn't take them up on it. I didn't feel like playing. Maybe it was a bit of depression, or something, but I just wasn't excited about it...There had been a lot happening in 2020, on top of leaving Europe and integrating back into Australian life, well, I guess it was a bit too much for me at the time.

In the past few weeks I've started contacting folks to get together, once the restrictions have eased, and I am really looking forward to swappin' riffs, ideas and jammin' with friends old and new!

It was a small thing, to say yes to that show in July... Really, it was just a word “yes”... but that decision has lit a fire... the spark is burning... and I don't quite know where it's going to take me, but even the pandemic blues hasn't gotten me down this month like it has done in the past...

Cause now I got something to work towards...

I wanna work with musicians, in person or online... I wanna write songs again... I wanna play a live show with others, their music or mine... I wanna release my solo album (eventually) and I wanna express myself as I once did with the 6 string in the past...

Are you comin' along for the ride??

Thanks for reading,

The Josh

[lavendersage]

hey emily, hopefully this isn’t too presumptuous or uncomfortable feel free to ignore if so 😣 im actually a long time follower of your personal and have always related to your feelings with depression and low moods, and i went thru a really bad break up around a similar time funnily or unfunnily enough 😔 i know you say you say you still struggle; is there anything in particular that helps you along? i find it so hard to face my real life sometimes, im turning 25 in a few months and i feel like depression and that awful relationship have stolen so much from me, i feel so far behind my peers and those even younger, im too afraid to even meet people nevermind open up to someone else ever again, my friends are all in committed long term relationships, one just got a promotion, and just recently was told two of my cousins not even a year older are now engaged and planning their weddings. I know im not the only one going thru a quarter life crisis lol but god does it feel like it! gosh im not even sure what the point of this was. i love your blogs and your lovely self, this little corner of the Internet means so much to me when i feel most isolated. sorry for going on and on, i hope things are good for you rn 💜🌱

hi baby 💜  reading your ask kinda felt like i was reading one of my own journal entries or personal posts or something, because on god, i struggle with all of the same things. i’m a little older (just turned 26 in august) but i started feeling the same way you do around 24. i also went through a bad relationship during that time but more than anything, i empathize with your feelings of falling behind my peers. it wasn’t “supposed” to be this way, right? like you can’t catch a break no matter how hard you try? (i say “feels like” but it’s literally true in my case, all of my family and friends IRL can attest to the ridiculous amount of bullshit i’ve been through). i could go off on a tangent about how our generation was robbed and how our idea of what it means to be an adult (having a stable job that pays the bills, getting married, moving out on our own, etc) has been permanently warped because it has become so fucking hard to achieve even a single one of those things, and all of that is true, but i will digress.

basically, you end up watching the people around you achieve the things you’ve been working for, and you’re stuck feeling like some sort of cautionary tale because you aren’t getting results, which is a slippery slippery slope into strong feelings of inadequacy that feed into your depressive episodes.

i’m glad you reached out, because i find that it helps ground me if i know that other people my age are also dealing with similar problems and kind of cuts me out of the fog of seeing everyone i know thrive while i suffer. so you can rest assured in the knowledge that you are far from alone in this--and it’s also worth remembering that what other people present on social media is just a carefully curated version of themselves that they want the world to see.

you have to first ask yourself if you’re doing everything within your power to lift yourself out of your current situation. and i know how hard that is when you’re so low you can barely get out of bed, believe me, i know, and you have to find a way to forgive yourself for that. but if things are ever going to get better, you have to do the best you can to push yourself forward. it will not be a linear process. and that’s okay. 

if the answer is no, you’re not doing everything in your power, figure out what it is you need to be working on. figure out what it is you want and take small steps every day to put yourself in that direction. if the answer is yes, then you have to find a way to accept that what you’re doing is enough and find a way to keep your brain from falling down that black hole of despair. visit friends. get caught up in a creative project. read a good book or play a good video game. and if you have the means, find a good therapist. (i don’t have the means but if i did, that’s what i would do.) it may take all of your strength, but you will feel better if you fill out that job application, or reach out to that person, or even do a load of laundry. small things do add up and can make a huge difference in your overall mental health.

i’m sorry that i don’t have magical advice to give you beyond sharing my own experiences. i’m still working through it, just like you. so i’ll leave you with this: don’t get caught up in your own head. take everything one day at a time. step away from social media when you need to. focus on your goals as much as your mental faculties will allow. let yourself rest when you need to rest, let yourself be sad when you need to be sad, but do. not. give. up.

because the moment you stop having hope that things will get better is the moment you know they never will.

love you to the ends of the earth, and you are always welcome to talk to me 💜💜💜

[ivalice-tifalucis]

Alright speaking of football, I really and completely dive back into this again. I notice the last time I watch football religiously (like waking up at early morning almost every week just to watch Barca’s game) which was around 2013, I wasn’t active on tumblr yet. I did occassionally reblogged football stuffs. I watched important games like few El Clasicos or Champions League finals. I did sporadic live blogging during the last World Cup. But now that I’m back like really back I notice things are different.

First, women’s football. I once ramble in someone’s post about the inequality of women’s football compare to men in USWNT. I said that women’s football didn’t really develop until 1970s while men’s football was starting to develop since 1900s and so it will take time for women’s football to get more developed. The difference that I notice is that now more mainstream media especially in England, where the center of football is, promotes their women’s team more. I notice Barca also do that for quite a while now, I just couldn’t believe that others do the same!! What I love even more is that if you take a look at let’s say Barca Femeni (who just got a new stadium fyi) or Liverpool’s women videos on youtube, the comments are mostly positive and most come from fanboys. They wish the female team all the best and to succeed, even include them in some banter. People also discuss how to improve women’s football since no matter what female will always going to be physically inferior than men and football is very physically demanding. Like many people suggest that women’s football need to have different regulation with the game. This shows that people care about female football. People also comment on footballers daughter who was just playfully kicking ball with “wow imagine if she becomes a footballer too” like these kinds of comments and discussions didn’t exist 5 years ago.

Second, the wheels are turning. Like a circle of life, there’s also circle of football domination. Last time I’m in, Barca was still a club that everyone are afraid of. Today, we are so poor it makes me sad. Liverpool comeback is just one of those moment. No, not the worst football club yet. We’re just becoming clown now, it’s embarassing. La Masia is also such a mess. That little boy Takefusa Kubo is now Real Madrid young player???!!! I hope we will get better soon (after the board members sacked!!!). I even missed out that Real Madrid won 3 UCL in a row (I only notice 2 until I went to Bernabeu tour and realized they have 13 trophies now 😑). Premier League dynamic has changed a lot. No more big 4 teams, they now have Leicester City too as dark horse. I was shocked when my brother told me they were about to win Premier League like what even the hell was that club?! Manchester United is sucking hard, Chelsea is shifting from rich club who buy everything to so so club to club who grow talents, Liverpool is only few weeks away from ending their 30 years of no league title (no longer a club who only talk about history), Manchester City is undisputedly giant crazy rich team along side PSG. Arsenal is the only one who stay the same, because Arsenal. Germany is suddenly not so good anymore.

Third, best player in the world. Apparently my favorite players are now old and soon will retire (some even have). The banter has shifted to discussion and general consensus that *insert player A* is great player instead of trying to compare A with B. Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo fans have finally find consensus that both players are the best ever. Sergio Ramos is now the best defender ever??? (Make sense tho the guy captained Real Madrid who won 3 UCL in a row, forget the fact that he loves collecting red card so much). Gerard Pique also the best now. Neymar since his departure to PSG has become mediocre, sad. Frenkie de Jong, I root for him to be successful. Who else hmm... Jamie Vardy is top scorer (I like him in a way that his life is motivating that sometime good things don’t come immediately like his life and career is quite insane for pro footballer standard, he supposed to not even become a football superstar!!). Mohamed Salah, I heard a lot about him because I have a cousin who is Liverpool die hard fan and media talk about him, he’s great (and sorta feel proud for him because he’s conservative moslem from Egypt, sadly a politically unstable country, and arab which is great for representation. He manages to lift the image of arab people and moslem especially around Merseyside just by being great). Another talent from Liverpool would be Virgil van Dijk that gd soft tall man and good defender but most important is Trent Alexander-Arnold (corner taken quickly which breaks my heart and amaze me at the same time). Kevin de Bruyne is what Pep really love in midfielder and indeed what a talent he is. Erling Haaland is looking good, I hope he’s not just one season wonder. Manuel Neuer is no longer as good as he used to be since terrible injury (now I understand his bloop in WC 2018) but now there are more sweeper keeper just not as crazy as him. He definitely set standards for future goalkeepers.

Fourth, retired players. One by one, players that I watched while growing up have retired. I saw Puyol and Xavi retired. Then Iker Casillas, the most recent one to retired after heart surgery scare last year, now a candidate for RFEF President. Iniesta is soom gonna be retired. David Villa, Fernando Torres. My favorite Spain NT players are now all retired ☹️. Schweinsteiger, Lahm, Robben, Mertesacker. Mertesacker is now Arsenal youth coach??!!! Mikel Arteta is now Arsenal’s coach. Other star players from Premier League like Frank Lampard (now Chelsea’s manager), Steven Gerrard, all have retired and become football manager. And a bit unrelated because I never actually see him playing (because I only start properly watch football since 2010 and by that time he had retired and I only heard stories) but Gary Neville as Valencia’s manager for short time?? 😂 (of course I would know that’s important information for all Carraville shippers). Everytime I hear news about footballer retirement I would be reminded again that I’m old.

Fifth, shipping. If you don’t notice this already, I now ship Jamie Carragher with Gary Neville which is not surprising since I always low key ship Gerard Pique with Sergio Ramos anyway. Apparently I always have a thing with pinning rivaling defenders who are hot headed, reckless, and hate each other at first until one day they don’t. And I swear that’s the most random ever. I’m not even Liverpool fan and never really into Man United (although my brother is sorta fan because he knows much about MU). But it all starts from me going around Liverpool’s tag on tumblr and found Carra’s instagram live. After watching all of their videos in Sky Sports on youtube, consider my self as a carraville. I even always try to find live streaming from Sky Sports for every Premier League matches that I watch. I must say, they’re the ones that make me want to go back to football fandom again.

All in all, I will never stop loving FC Barcelona. I may watch other games, less Barca games maybe because they’re not that enjoyable to watch these days. But now I understand, the feeling of watching Barca loses is different. It just so heartbreaking 😭 my heart only belong to that team. I’m so happy I finally got to be in Camp Nou even though I just lost my wallet at that time.

[itsdaggerandsheath]

A Discussion of Purity Culture (Part 1)

               TW: Mild mentions of sexual abuse/rape

This is gonna be a long one so buckle up.

So, for those of you who don’t know (which is most of you), I am a Christian. Now, this doesn’t just mean that I grew up in a Christian family that brought me to church every week as a child; I am now an adult, and I still very much worship the Lord and believe in (most of) the Gospel. Yet, as you can tell by my blogs and my Instagram page, I also heavily believe in comprehensive sex education. Now, I’m sure some of you have met plenty of Christians who are sexually active and who believe in instilling good sex education as well, and I hope you have met people like this because the Christians that don’t believe in good sex education (among various other things) make the rest of us look like idiots. Which is why the rest of you are probably shocked that someone who self-identifies as a Christian woman wants to pursue a career in sex education. The two of them definitely seem to contradict.

               While I don’t necessarily feel the need to defend myself to any of you as I am happy with being both a believer in Christ and in comprehensive sex education, I do realize that to those of you who are shocked at me revealing this about myself, an explanation would be…intriguing to you. So, I will explain how I maintain a certain level of homeostasis between my Christian beliefs and my beliefs on sexuality…in Part 2. For now, though, I simply want to tell you all the story of my experience with purity culture thus far so I can catch you all up to speed. Then, in Part 2, I’ll tell you all what I’m doing to try and overcome it.

               I suppose that I should probably explain what exactly “purity culture” is for those of you who may not know. Purity culture stems from the group of people (primarily Christians in America, but many other religions share in this culture as well) that believe that sex should only be for a heterosexual married couple. They believe that if you have sex before marriage you are, well, “impure” in some way. You’re tarnished. Your worth as a human being goes down. No one will want to be with you if you’ve already been sexual with someone else. “No one wants to chew gum that’s already been chewed,” is a popular one that I’ve heard. They worship the concept of virginity, and believe that your virginity is a physical state of being that should only be taken away from you by your spouse, and your spouse is then the only person you should have sex with for the rest of your life.

               Now, here’s the thing: if you legitimately want to wait until you’re married or in love to have sex, and it’s a choice that you are making for yourself that no one else is making for you, that’s fine! That’s totally valid. Abstinence is always an option, but it shouldn’t be forced upon anyone. I for one always knew that I wanted to wait until I was in love to have sex for the first time, which I did, but I knew from a very young age that I was not going to wait until marriage – and I didn’t.

               Let me explain to you the kind of church environment I grew up in. For the most part, it really wasn’t that conservative. You didn’t have to dress up or be “proper” in any way; every church I’ve ever been to mostly consisted of people wearing T-shirts and jeans, maybe some of the women wearing a casual sundress or something like that, but everyone usually wore their typical, casual, everyday wear. And there was a lot of diversity too! Lots of different skin colors, single people, people in relationships, married people with children and married people with no children; people of all ages and careers and positions in life. Hell, I even was allowed to be on my current church’s worship team as a singer, and I had bright blue hair at the time. I have tattoos and piercings and am still a little bit emo, but my pastor said, “Come as you are!” which is something that I still to this day think is really beautiful and really important.

               But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Some things just didn’t quite make sense. For example, my church has stated that, while people in the LGBTQ+ community are welcome inside our church at any time, they don’t “agree with or promote the lifestyle”. If you’ve had an abortion, you won’t be shunned or kicked out or anything like that – you’ll still be welcomed with open arms, but the church won’t “agree with the choice you made”. I could give several more examples, but I think you get the picture. Another thing that my church emphasizes is remaining abstinent until marriage, which is what I’ll be focusing on here. And man, my pastor is one of the kindest, most genuinely good-hearted people I’ve ever met in my entire life. But that almost makes the things that he and I disagree on suck that much more.

               Let’s talk about my childhood first. In Part 1 of my “An Introduction to Sex” series, I mentioned that my mom openly answered any questions that I had about sex as a child, but marriage was always emphasized. There was a time where I thought it was illegal to live together before marriage, and the idea of having children outside of marriage seemed biologically impossible. Then, when one of my cousins was born out of wedlock, I remember being wildly confused as to how it possibly could have happened. A couple years later, my dad and my would-be-stepmom moved in together years before they ended up getting married; and then, my own mother became pregnant out of wedlock by a man who is no longer in our lives. I love my little brother more than I love life itself; this now eight-year-old boy is the most important and precious thing in my life, but boy did he make a hypocrite out of my mother for a little while.

               As I got older, even after my brother had been born, my mother continued to urge me to wait until marriage to have sex, in hopes that I would avoid “making the same mistakes she did”. When I first started dating my current partner, I remember being in the car with my mom when she told me this. She also told me that the first time you have sex it hurts, and she told me that males get “blue balls” when they’re horny, and “once you start you can’t stop because it hurts them”. To this day I still wonder, was she just trying to manipulate me into staying abstinent, or did she really believe that? If she did really believe it, what did it say about the men she’d been with in the past? Was she ever forced to do something sexually that she wasn’t comfortable with because some loser guy had told her she’d given him blue balls? Did my own father ever do that to her?

               Let’s not think about that right now.

               As I said before, while I was never planning on waiting for marriage, I did want to wait for love. Which I did. I fell in love with my current partner hard and fast almost three years ago. Part of me wishes that I could go back; if I’d known that “losing your virginity” is not the huge, life-changing event that I’d been raised to believe it was, I wouldn’t have been nearly as nervous. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, balancing myself against the sink in my partner’s bathroom as he told his mom we were going out for ice cream, which is not what we were going out to do, if you catch my drift. I stood against the sink shaking with nervous excitement. It’s not that I wasn’t ready, I was – and if I wasn’t, I would have had no problem telling my partner that. But I thought that I would wake up the next morning different. I thought that this was going to change my life. I thought I was going to be a new person when this was all said and done. So, I stood against the sink and tried to memorize every line and freckle on my face, as if I wouldn’t be looking at the same face in the mirror the next morning.

               I woke up the next morning to find that nothing had changed.

               I remember wondering if we had had sex wrong, because I was convinced that I was supposed to be different in some way because of everything that I’d been told about “losing your virginity” all my life. I wasn’t sore. I really didn’t feel any different. I certainly didn’t look different. I didn’t have a “glow” to me. I thought my mom would be able to tell just by looking at me, or that my fellow churchgoers would know. I walked into the church early that morning for practice as I was still on the worship team at the time and was almost stunned that none of them had figured it out.

               This was one of the first big realizations I had in realizing that most of what I’d been told about sex growing up was bullshit.

               My partner and I really hadn’t been dating for that long, and we were still getting to know each other. My partner didn’t grow up going to church, but he saw that my faith was important to me and wanted to understand better, so he asked if he could come to a service just to see what it was like. I of course said yes, and we planned a Sunday for him to come with me and my family.

               The first time he ever came to church with me, the sermon was about abstinence.

               My pastor had never delivered a sermon on abstinence before. It of course just so happened to be when I brought my first serious relationship to church for the first time. I never wanted to crawl in a hole and die as much as I did that day.

               Now, my pastor actually made a lot of good points, as the sermon wasn’t just on abstinence, but rather sex in general. He said a lot about how we need to end sexual abuse and how men in the church need to stop treating women like objects and how big of a problem human trafficking is about the world – I totally agree with all of that, as I’m sure you all do too. But the underlying message was abstinence. If everyone remained abstinent until marriage, all of those problems would disappear! Fair point (kind of) but very unrealistic. And what about marital rape? What about people who don’t want to get married?

               My pastor has never claimed to be right all the time, nor has he ever claimed to have all the answers, which I appreciate about him. And while I don’t think he was entirely correct in delivering this sermon, I can’t say it didn’t have an impact on me. All I wanted was to get out of there and profusely apologize to my partner that I’d dragged into this. When we finally did get out, I remember feeling sick to my stomach with guilt – but not guilt over the fact that I’d become sexually active when it was supposedly “unholy” to do so, quite the contrary: I felt guilty for not feeling guilty about having sex. Does that make sense? I loved my new sex life! My mom always said that she felt ashamed that she’d had sex before marriage; I didn’t feel ashamed. But I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I should have felt guilty, but didn’t. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty, which was one of the most fucked up emotions you can have about something I know now I’m supposed to enjoy.

               Did you know that only 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex? That is, assuming everyone in that 3% is telling the truth. This means that, statistically, out of the 200 people in the church that day, only 6 of them had waited until marriage to have sex. That’s only three couples.

               My pastor never delivered a sermon on sex again. It was not received well by those in the congregation who had had children out of wedlock or thought that the intention of the sermon was to make people feel guilty – which my pastor claims it wasn’t and hey, maybe that really wasn’t his intention, but I’m not surprised that it made a lot of people feel guilty. Then a teenage couple in the congregation got pregnant a few months later, and I’m not judging them (and neither did anyone in my church as most of the people who attend are very nice), but it did sort of drive the nail that much further into the coffin.

               My partner and I managed to brush off the embarrassment of the abstinence sermon…eventually. It did take him several months to every come to church with me again, and can you blame him? I’m surprised he ever came again at all. Anyway, as I continued to be sexually active, I decided that it would be a good idea to get on birth control to help with pregnancy prevention. My mother was so engulfed with purity culture though, I was afraid that she’d say no or even prevent me from seeing my partner (I was still a minor at the time) if she were to find out that I was having sex.

               So, I decided to ask my atheist dad and stepmom for help.

               They were lovely, and a great help! They talked to me, talked to my mom, and with their help, I was able to muster up the courage to ask my mom if I could get on birth control, which, to my great surprise, she said yes.

               After getting the prescription, my mom sat down with me and had a long talk with me about how, even if she and I don’t necessarily agree on everything, she just wanted me to talk to her and be open and honest with her. She told me that if I’d asked her about birth control even without the help of my dad and stepmom, she’d have said yes. She revealed to me that she’d taken birth control when she was my age too (gee, that would’ve been nice to know) and said if I had any questions about it, I could always ask he

               Wow! What a great reaction! I remember at the time thinking that this was such a cool thing for my mom to say to me. Surely, everything from then on out was fine and I was able to kind of get out of the purity culture world, right?

               Nope.

               See, I forgot to mention – even though my mom didn’t wait for marriage with my dad or her dumbass ex that became the father of my half-brother…she and my stepdad did wait until marriage. Which doesn’t make sense because neither of them were “virgins” because they’d already been married before. They claimed that they were simply “doing things in the right order” by not having sex until the wedding night and not moving in together until after the honeymoon. So now my mom tries her absolute hardest to bring up the fact that by doing so, she was being a good influence on her children and hopes that we would follow in her footsteps and wait for marriage.

               So, the fact that I didn’t do this was seen as an act of rebellion. Despite my mom telling me she just wanted me to talk to her, she takes every opportunity to rub it in my face that I’m “not a virgin” anymore.

               Examples? Well, a couple years ago, a few months after I’d first started taking a new birth control pill, I’d started bleeding long before I was supposed to get my period. I knew that it was probably my body just having a reaction from being on a new pill, but I went to the immediate care just in case. I’d called my mom because she was at work and couldn’t come with me – but by this time I was eighteen and could go by myself, I just figured I’d call her and tell her what was up because she said I could talk to her, remember? At first, she was very reassuring because she knew I was nervous, saying, “You’ll be okay, don’t worry. Just go to the front desk and tell them what’s going on – they have our insurance on file, there shouldn’t be a copay. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about, thank you for calling to let me know.”

               That was a decent thing of her to say, right? Then she said more.

               “They might have to do a pelvic exam, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. It might be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt because you’re not a virgin.”

               Thanks, Mom.

               But the most recent fiasco was icing on the cake. It went a little something like this: quarantine has been very hard on me and my family. My little brother doesn’t understand his E-learning and throws temper tantrums when he’s upset, and sometimes my mom will throw a temper tantrum right back. I had my own school work to do as I’m a university student and my school sent us all home, so I had to move back in with my parents and do my classes online at the dining room table. But it’s a little hard to get work done when I can hear my mom and brother screaming at each other downstairs, and it’s even worse when my stepdad joins in. And to top it all off, an old friend of mine was unexpectedly killed in a car accident, and due to the Covid-19 guidelines, I couldn’t go to her funeral.

               My partner has an apartment a state over near his university that is not the school’s property, so he didn’t have to move out of it, but he came back to our hometown to stay with his parents. He did this to be with his family during this weird and difficult time, but also to be near to me in the event of an emergency and also so we could have social distancing dates. However, as time went on, he came to realize that he left some things in that apartment that he needed or would have been useful to have (like food, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc.) and he pondered crossing the state boarder to go and get everything.

               Unfortunately for him, no one in his family was willing to help him with this endeavor, so once it was safe and legal to cross state boarders in our area, I offered to go with him (we were very careful, we wore masks and washed our hands frequently, and once we were in the apartment, we didn’t’ leave).

               Now, I’d been to this apartment in the past. Whenever my partner and I felt the need to get away from school, our families, whatever it may be, this tiny apartment in the city was a haven for us to get away from it all. However, my mom hates it when I go to the apartment with him and stay the night because, in her eyes, sleeping with someone (even if it doesn’t involve sex, just sleeping next to your unmarried partner in general) is immoral. So, I don’t stay the night with my partner very often just so I don’t have to hear my mom bitch about it. But this time, I really needed to get away from everything going on in my house and my life, and my partner and I knew that moving the things out of his apartment would take time, so it just made sense to stay the night anyway.

               The thing is, I did tell my mom that he and I were going to stay in the apartment overnight. I believe my exact words were, “We’re gonna go stay in the apartment tonight”.

               This was a Friday, so we went to the apartment, packed up what we wanted to pack up, then came home on Saturday. Rather than going home, I went with my boyfriend to his family home in our hometown and helped him unpack, then spent the rest of the day with him.

               At ten o’clock Saturday night, I received the following text from my mom (apart from eliminating mine, my sister and my partner’s names for privacy reasons, this is verbatim what she said):

               “Hi babe. Since I didn’t see you all day I’ll assume you’re safe with (partner’s name here). You said you guys were going to his apartment last night but nothing about spending the night. Thank you for just assuming that was ok, not asking permission, and giving me the lovely experience of answering questions this morning from both of your siblings. I love you more than anything (my name here)…I hope you’ve had a good day and I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”

               Atrocious, right?

               Now, I did tell my mom that I was going to be spending the night the previous night, so I figured that there must have just been some miscommunication, which I then apologized for:

               “Mom, I did tell you that we were going to spend the night, I’m sorry if there was some kind of miscommunication but I did make sure to mention we were staying over.”

               Now, any rational mom would think to herself, “Oh, man, maybe there was a miscommunication after all! Maybe I’m not right all the time and should take my child’s words into account!”

               Nope. She said:

               “Not sure when…considering we were in the front room with (my sister’s name here) when you said you guys were going to his apartment in Chicago, but ok. I’d still like you to think about what you’d like to say to your brother when he asks. Night baby.”

               P A T H E T I C

               Let’s analyze this a bit further, shall we?

               Let’s say you have a child (who actually isn’t a child and is an adult, but whatever) who you thought would be returning home in the morning and didn’t. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were legitimately worried about their location and their wellbeing? I don’t know, maybe CALL THEM? But did my mom do this? No. Which means she didn’t actually care about where I was or what I was doing or why I hadn’t come home; she cared about our image and explaining by supposed bad behavior to my siblings – an eight year old boy and an autistic woman, neither of whom asked me anything about this event in the following days.

               Next, I communicated the idea of a miscommunication. Maybe I misspoke! Maybe I made a mistake! You’d think that she’d reciprocate this. Maybe she misheard. Maybe she misunderstood. Maybe don’t throw your other kid with autism (my sister) into the mix. Maybe entertain the idea that you could have been wrong and that maybe I did tell you I was staying the night with my partner and you just blocked out what you didn’t want to hear.

               Next, she acted like I did this scandalous and awful thing that my siblings would have all kinds of questions about when literally neither of them gave a single shit.

               But the best part? This text conversation was the night before Mother’s Day, and she sent it to me right before she went to bed so that I wouldn’t be able to argue with her about it, and what kind of daughter would I be to start a fight with my mom on Mother’s Day? She strategized this conversation so that she could have the last word.

               Bruh.

               She made herself out to be such a victim. How dare I go spend the night with my boyfriend! What will the children say?! Nothing. Literally nothing. Because I did nothing wrong.

               So, let’s get into my concluding thoughts.

               I know, finally, right? This has definitely been my longest blog to date.

               I love my family, I do. I love my church and the people in it. Do I agree with every message that’s being spread? No, absolutely not. But it is possible to see the good in people even if you don’t actually agree with everything that they say. And I love my mom, but the way that she behaves when it comes to me being sexually active is bullshit. I know it could be worse – there are places where having sex before marriage is punishable by death. Arranged child marriages are still a thing. So my mom getting on my nerves is certainly a first world problem, but it’s still not something that I should have to deal with, right?

               Having realized that the culture that I’ve been raised in is bullshit, I’m trying to move forward with my life and keep my head held high, but how? Especially during a time where I’ve been forced to move home with my parents? How can I continue to maintain my relationship with the Lord while trying to escape this toxic purity culture? Luckily, I received some great advice from my last therapist on how to do just that, which I will be happy to tell you all about…in Part 2.

               In the meantime, I love you all, and please stay safe.

-          Dagger and Sheath

[atc74]

Ready

Square Filled: Escort!AU for @spnaubingo​

Warnings: Fluff (sorry, have you met me?), a little self doubt

Summary: Y/N needs a date cause she is a liar and wanted to impress her boss,l so her friend gives her a number, but it turns out to be an escort service.

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Word Count: 1377

Written for: @spnaubingo​

**This is fiction and should be regarded as such. No hate towards the Benedict family.**

Thank you to my amazing beta, @pinknerdpanda​ who had this to say: Dude. This was swoonsville. I loved it. Dammit woman you may have me in a Rob trashcan yet. I feel this has been accomplished to some degree. You’re welcome, Manda. Love you girl!

(photo credit to @stardustandmelancholy​)

“Jill, I need your help!” I called my friend frantic.

“What’s up?” she asked, used to my drama.

“Remember that fundraiser tomorrow for work? Well, I need a date and I may or may not have informed my boss that I was seeing someone and NOW I NEED A DATE!” I was now screaming, but this was serious.

“Oh, is that all?” I could hear her roll her eyes at me through the phone.

“Oh is that all? Jill, what am I going to do?” I started whining as I got in my car, banging my head on the steering wheel. I work for a large company and although I don’t know everyone on our campus, I knew I was going to make a fool of myself if I didn’t show up with a date.

“Listen, Y/N. Let me make a call and I will get right back to you,” Jill told me. I tried to protest, but the call ended. That bitch!

I sat, not so patiently, and waited for her to call me back. This was no laughing matter. I was up for a promotion at work and if my boss finds out that I lied, it could hurt my chances. My leg was bouncing, my fingers tapping when my phone rang.

“Jill?!” I asked, still frantic.

“Yeah. Hey, remember I told you my cousin was in a similar situation for her ex’s wedding a couple months back? Well, I have a name and a number for you. Write this down,” Jill rattled off a guy’s name and a telephone number. I wrote it down with a promise to call her later.

I sat and stared at the name on number. What the hell was I doing? I should just come clean and tell my boss the truth. I picked up my phone and dialed the number.

“Hop To It. Need a date in a hurry? We’re on it. How can I assist you?” The voice was pleasant, but I wasn’t sure what I just heard.

“I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong number. I was looking for a Rob. Thank you anyway,” I moved the phone from my ear to end the call when i heard her voice.

“No, you have the right place, honey. When is your event?” she probed.

“Tomorrow night, six o’clock?” I replied.

“Honey, are you telling me or asking me?” she asked with a laugh.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I am doing. I need a date for an event and my friend gave me this number. I thought I was calling him,” I sighed in defeat.

“Well, I can see from his schedule that he is actually free tomorrow night. Is this a black tie event?” she inquired.

“Yes, no; it’s formal, but not black tie,” I replied. I proceeded to give her the rest of the details she needed and I grumbled after thanking her and hanging up the phone. I could throttle Jill! I thought she was just giving me some guys number, not a freaking escort service! I was told I would settle up with ‘my date’ at the event based on the total number of hours I needed him for. This was going to be a disaster.

I stood in front of my full length mirror. I don’t want to tell you I was admiring myself, because I am not full of it, but as I took in my appearance in the floor length navy blue dress, I couldn’t help myself; I liked what I saw. I don’t have the greatest self-esteem, but in this dress, and with the hair and make-up, I looked good, but more importantly, I felt good. I could only hope that my date didn’t turn out to be a total disaster.

Before I could dwell on it further, my buzzer sounded. I walked to the door and peered through the peephole. Whatever, or whomever, I was expecting; it wasn’t this. A man with slightly unruly brown curls and a full beard, dressed in a navy blue suit and no tie, stood on the other side of my door, bouncing on the balls of his feet. I steeled myself and opened the door.

“Hi, I’m Rob,” he smiled and I knew I was a goner. “You must be Y/N.”

“I am. Thank you for doing this on such short notice,” I cleared my throat nervously.

“It’s my job. Now let’s get you to this party, beautiful,” he turned and offered my his elbow. I quickly locked the door and slipped my hand into the crook. God, he smelled good.

The drive to the event was short, but long enough for me to fill him in on what I needed and expected of him. He was confident in his answers and by the time we pulled into the hotel, he had my hand held comfortably in his and I didn’t hate it.

As we entered the hotel, he excused himself to use the restroom. “I have to put my tie on; I’ll be right back.” He leaned in and placed a kiss to my cheek, his lips featherlight on on my skin, his beard soft. I felt the blush creep up on me and I nodded.

A few moments later, he returned, his tie perfectly knotted and a smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be…”

Rob was perfect. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better boyfriend, fake or otherwise. He had each of my co-workers wrapped around his little finger and I was at the top. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I found myself entranced by this man. His charm, his wit, his thoughtfulness and grace. I knew it was an act; this is what I was paying him for, but I couldn’t help but buy into what he was selling so well. The night ended before I was ready, which surprised me as I had been dreading the entire event for weeks.

I was pulled from my reverie when Rob placed his hand on my shoulder. We were already in front of my home and I shook my head, ridding the thoughts that had settled there. “Would you like to come in for a night cap?”

“I would love to, Y/N,” he smiled, the crinkles in the corners of his eyes prominent in the moonlight.

Once inside, I slipped off my heels and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of Angel’s Envy from the cabinet, pouring two glasses. I turned and he was right there, in my space, invading my senses, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t immediately mind someone in my bubble.

“Can I be honest with you, Y/N?”

“I would expect nothing less.” I have always been direct.

“I had a really nice time tonight. I would like to see you again.”

I laughed a little at the thought of how we got here. “And how much is that going to cost me?”

“Nothing. I quit the service. This night is on me. When we arrived at the hotel, I called in, told them I cancelled on you and that I was done. I never believed in love, or even like, at first sight, but I knew I couldn’t continue doing that anymore. Everything you got tonight was one hundred percent me,” Rob set down his glass, cupping my face with both hands.

“Why?” I was dumbfounded.

“Because we have a no sex policy with our clients; no kissing either. And I couldn’t imagine ending the night without doing this,” he pressed his lips to mine and I felt that spark ignite and settle into a small flame that burned me up from the inside out.

“This was one heck of a first date, then huh?” I smiled into the kiss. “I should probably learn your last name at least.”

He pulled back, looking me in the eye. “Hi, I’m Rob Benedict. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N Y/L/N. Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I think I can do that,” I pulled him back to me, letting all my worries melt away as we shared the best second kiss ever.

The Whole Enchilada - join my fiesta: @sis-tafics​  @holyfuckloueh @gh0stgurl​ @hobby27​  @bethbabybaby​ @anspgene​ @paintrider13-blog​ @cyrilconnelly​ @chelsea072498​ @just-another-busy-fangirl​ @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​ @d-s-winchester​ @roxyspearing​ @heyitscam99​ @iwantthedean​ @jpadjackles​ @mogaruke​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @x-waywardaf-x​ @myoutletforfanfiction​ @growningupgeek​ @spnbaby-67​ @nosleeptillbucky @wonderange​ @emoryhemsworth​ @crispychrissy​ @impalaimagining​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @docharleythegeekqueen​ @katymacsupernatural​ @hennessy0274-blog​ @esoltis280​ @shaelyn102​ @charliebradbury1104​ @pinknerdpanda​ @hannahindie​ @wingedcatninja @highfunctioning-sociopath​ @speakinvain @waywardlodging​ @evansrogerskitten​ @percussiongirl2017​ @blacktithe7​ @winchesterprincessbride​ @theoriginalvicki​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @sweetpeamoose​ @mamaredd123​ @sandlee44​ @mottergirl99​ @bunniesowlsandwhales​ @meeshw777​ @squirrel-moose-winchester​ @milkymilky-cocopuff​ @waywardbaby97​ @meganwinchester1999​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @grace-for-sale​ @4401lnc​  @countrygal17a​ @tina8009​

Rob Worshipers: @natasha-cole​ @ellen-reincarnated1967​ @a-queen-and-her-throne​

[exid-though]

An ask turned into an essay/presentation and I’m hoping MBTI blogs don’t block me for this here’s EXID’s possible MBTI types!

Before anyone who actually knows about MBTI types more in depth jumps on me for how poorly done this is, I’d like to request you do better. That sounds hella sarcastic but like legit I’m curious about what someone else would think about this especially someone who knows a lot bit more so like actually correct me on something or give your opinion like fr I’d enjoy it. I don’t word things well, I don’t say things well. But like?? power through? you can figure it out it’s not a puzzle it’s just poorly written so play English teacher and work through it. 

Solji- ESTJ

The first thing that we (we being @lencoexid and I thank you for helping me/co writing this basically) decided was that Solji has a higher Te (look at me picking up the lingo?). The girl was voted the scariest member just because she’s very about her business I guess you could say? That’s not the best way to put it but anyway, she comes off as “scary” because she’s very quick to remind the girls that she’s not only the leader but also the oldest and she knows best, not because she’s actually being mean or anything but just because she wants to help and keep them doing what they’re supposed to be doing. But also Jeonghwa helps. She’s later. Anyway.

One website says 

“Dominant Te types may come across as bossy or know-it-all-ish, even when they genuinely mean well.“ 

and another says:

“Te involves the outward expression of rational judgments and opinions; TJs literally think (i.e., make judgments, conclusions, and decisions) aloud. Te is more fact-oriented than Ti is. STJs, in particular, see the world as composed of discrete, black-and-white parts. This allows them to institute clear definitions, objective standards, and measurable goals. While Ti is forever backtracking to question and clarify underlying ideas and assumptions, Te is more positivistic and forward-moving, working to improve definitions, plans, policies, classifications, procedures, etc. It carefully spells out how to get from here to there, using as many maps, labels, and instructions as necessary.”

Solji is very sweet of course we love her whatever but she also comes across as bossy sometimes and as lenco pointed out, even Heeyeon said she also likes to do things her own way. She made Jeonghwa mad in that infamous Showtime fight because she kept teasing Jeonghwa about how slow she was washing the food and telling her to do it faster. She, like the true mom of EXID that she is, took the knife from her and showed her how to cut the food faster, too. Like literally just showed her “you can cut two at a time, see?” and Jjong was just like -_-. To Solji, this wasn’t being bossy or anything, she just had a better way to do it that was more efficient and she wanted to show her younger friend who was wasting time, but Jeonghwa was young and sensitive so she got angry lmao 

Then we had to decide if she was more of a secondary Si user or Ni and Si seems to fit better. 

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.” ISJs may also fail to notice external details to the degree exhibited among ESPs. Unlike SPs, who are oriented to the present moment and the current trends, SJs rely on information from the past to inform the present. They grow attached to past ways of doing things, compelling them to conserve and protect traditions or conventions. Because of their concern for the remembered past, Si might be considered more abstract and less concrete than Se is.” 

Solji also has moments where she goes on about things and she gets very excited when thinking about possibilities of what she could be doing, even when it’s small and just a game EXID are playing, she really seems to enjoy banter and clever thinking like an Ne might?

“When orating, NPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly move from one idea to the next. Ne is more divergent and expansive in nature than its introverted cousin, Ni. NPs feel compelled to outwardly explore all the options and possibilities, making it difficult for them to draw firm conclusions or make confident decisions.”

In romantic relationships, Solji says she actually prefers someone who will lead her and someone who’s cold on the outside and warm on the inside. If that means anything to you mbti smart people. 

  "I like the manly types. Rather than a man who affectionately takes care of me well, I like the type who will lead me."

"You must like the 'tsundere (cold on the outside, soft on the inside)' types. A blood type-B man (stereotyped to be coarse and bad-tempered)."  Solji said that was correct. 

LE - ISFP

This woman... her and Solji. Elly is almost definitely an IXXP to me because idk just her general self. She’s very “free” ig, she doesn’t like schedules, she likes to do whatever more on a whim but less so than Hyelin I think. But she has said specifically that she doesn’t like to go by schedules and prefers to be more in the moment.

She has multiple interests but she only goes into them a little bit? The members said (on NCT night night I believe there is a thing in my drafts anyway also it was technically 2 votes for Elly and 2 votes for Heeyeon actually) that she knows a lot and it’s almost weird that she knows the things she knows and Jeonghwa explained that Elly knows about a lot but she knows things in the way that she “knows a little about everything” so like she’s smart in the way that she has a broad range of general/fundamental knowledge on random things. Jeonghwa also said she’s the type that keeps up with trends like in fashion and also just regular trends like slang and other internet things. She’s into fashion. She isn’t the most empathetic member but she did once say that when she isn’t writing songs about her own experience she’s writing about others so that might be something? She’s very blunt and she thinks it’s easier and better to just be open about what you’re thinking and feeling so time isn’t wasted. 

“I hate complicated things. That's such a waste of time."When asked what kind of love she wants to try, LE said, "A both placid and raging love," then added to everyone's amusement, "I like skinship,"

then she also said:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a boyfriend so I can’t remember, but I don’t get nervous around guys that I like. I like to play hard to get and make them chase me instead. That makes me feel a sense of achievement.”

I think she’s more Se than Si because she definitely seems to be more of an outward sensations type of person, with trends and fashion yeah but also she said she likes skinship and she’s pretty physical even if she’s not athletic. Like she doesn’t like working out but she likes the idea of extreme sports (note the “idea of” part lmao thank you @lencoexid​) she likes video games, she likes to think about the way things physically feel like she’s a very Se person to me.

I was having a hard time figuring out if she was more Fi or Ti but we do really think that she’s more Fi after thinking about how she is towards her friends and her relationships more. Ti would be too logical in her judgements of things and she seems more like a feeler when it comes to things around her. SO I’m going with ISFP.

Hani - INTJ

idc what anyone says (I say that now but like it’s so easy to change my mind you could literally just be like “well what if Hani is this because of this” and I’ll be like shoot you’re right) but anyway I could see Heeyeon being a dominant Ni user and also she’s not an extrovert like Heeyeon would be the last member I’d believe is an extrovert I’m serious e to i in EXID goes Jeonghwa/Solji/Hyelin>LE>Hani don’t argue with me. Or do idc but like I’m not wrong on Jeonghwa and Heeyeon. (like I once saw someone call Ahn Heeyeon an ENFP? nahh) but also idk

I think she shows more of a Te then Fi than the opposite (Fe then Ti) so I’m going with INTJ I think. 

Anyway, Heeyeon is super logical and detailed. Think about what made EXID so famous in the first place, Heeyeon literally taking actual written notes of what exact angles make her look best while performing. Her selfies are really popular (because she’s gorgeous?duh) and when she talks about her selfies she says they’re great because she took note of how she looks prettiest when her head is tilted at a 45 degree angle. Who measures that? Who? Nerds. That’s who. Hot nerds. Nerds trying to make sure their popularity stays up and they have no weaknesses. Scary hot nerds.

She takes notes in her notebook (which they all call her death note) of like everything she possibly can? Her calories, her workouts, any new findings in her selfie angles, and when people make her angry. She literally writes down the date and what they did and everything. She’s like the scary anime kid that comes out of the shadows and pushes their glasses up and says something weird then writes in their notebook. Kyoya Ootori she’s Kyoya from Ouran High School Host Club. My husband and my wife I have a type.

But then here’s the thing, she also really feels the need to have people like her? Like she used to diet and gain and lose weight (she’s not anymore thank God) and she got in trouble and was criticized by netizens for “just saying what she thinks will make people happy in that moment” which is honestly pretty true but I think it might’ve only really been true for that time. That was back when she had just gotten popular and she was still getting used to it and she was on so many shows right after doing nothing but eating ramen all day basically so I honestly think she could’ve just been worried about EXID’s fame and her image and everything because lately especially now she’s more like she was back when they were promoting Every Night like she’s very openly braggy and less anxious so I think it could’ve just been a stress and anxiety thing? Because now especially with the other girls she seems much more open about the other sides to her personality so I still think she could be an Fi not an Fe.

She also said when talking about what she’s like in love and all:

“I would say I’m a stronger type. I have charisma. I hear that a lot actually haha.”

She also seems more Se than Si but I can’t place exactly why. @fizzybubblespop also said that they’d say she was an INFJ but she seems so “present” that having Se as her last function doesn’t seem right. 

I kinda agree but I also think it makes sense since she is a bit wired and outward and everything but she’s much more of a person who needs to sit and think about things a bit, spacing out sometimes and stuff. I could see Se over Si for sure but like lower than things like Ni and Te to me. 

Hyelin - ESTP or ESXP

Hyelini hea lini hey lini hey jenny idk umm I think she has a higher F something and she’s a perceiver but I’m not sure on much else. She’s probably an extrovert to me but I also could possibly see her as a social introvert? She said on Showtime that after spending a lot of time with people she needs to spend time alone to relax for a few hours. But @lencoexid​ did point out that it’s more likely that it’s her attention shifting and her getting bored or tired of that situation and wanting something else.

I had never even thought of Hyelin as an ESFP before until lencoexid brought it up and I was like hmm? and when you think about it it could actually work well.

So, ESFP starts with Se, the extroverted sensing function. On this website they explained Se like this:

“Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.”

Hyelin is someone who is a regular at bars and actually said she drinks for the feeling of being drunk. She said she doesn’t see the point of drinking if you’re not going to get drunk. She also traveled all the way to Jeonju randomly just to go to a specific restaurant there that she likes.  

The problem here though comes when you get to the 2nd function which is Fi. To me, she seems more Fe. She had a secret job when EXID was broke, she was actually kinda uncomfortable when Solji and Jeonghwa had that argument in Showtime and she tried to make jokes about it and diffuse the situation it seemed.

She said when she’s in a relationship:

“I am really the submissive type, when I am in the wrong I bow down to my boyfriend and apologize right away, (hehe) but when I know that he is lying then I become more of a strong unni style.”

And so she seems pretty Fe when I think about it compared to Fi, she seems more about group harmony than her own inner feelings even if she is blunt and everything, at the end of the day she has many friends who all are very different (Shinsadong Tiger said in an interview once that Hyelin is friends with everyone and is even friends with a politician), she works to keep her friendships with people from her childhood and she doesn’t like when things mess with that. Remember when she just grabbed a mic and said “Minhyuk and I aren’t dating” because she wanted to end rumors before they got big? She’s very blunt and “crazy” and wild and she’s very into being the humorous one of the group that makes everyone laugh but she’s also very open and straight-forward when she doesn’t like something or when something is messing with the dynamic, you know?

Now, ESTP has Se>Ti>Fe>Ni and lencoexid and I both agree that between the two, Hyelin seems more Ti than Te (Te is more Solji’s thing lbr).

Jeonghwa - ISFJ or XSFJ

 I think she has high Fe and probably dominant Fe because the girls are always saying she’s so empathetic and she’s so good at relating to people’s feelings, etc. Heeyeon said she was jealous of how empathetic Jeonghwa is, when Heeyeon was trying to explain herself Jeonghwa jumped in and helped her out (I can’t remember what it was but it was on a radio show and she kinda explained for Heeyeon), she’s very open about how she feels about things and what she thinks of things (all of EXID are pretty blunt but especially Hyelin>LE>Jeonghwa), she’s also the one that takes charge even though she’s the youngest to try to keep things under control just a little but she’s still kinda sensitive? She also likes planning things and sticking to a schedule as she said on NCT night night, her and Heeyeon like sticking to plans and Elly and and Hyelin like to go with the flow. And with ISFJ and ESFJ Si is high (1st or 2nd) and this website says this about higher Si users:

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.””

Then it says this about high Fe users:

“FJs, especially EFJs, are quick to outwardly express their feelings, opinions, and grievances. Fe plays a prominent role in attuning to and empathizing with others’ emotions. It allows FJs to recreate another’s emotion state within themselves, allowing them to literally feel what the other person is feeling. FJs also work to meet others’ needs and to maintain harmony in the external environment. They ensure that everyone is getting along and is well cared for. At the same time, since Fe is an Extraverted Judging function, there are times when FJs are compelled to sacrifice external harmony for the sake of asserting their judgments. FJs also enjoy giving counsel and advice, especially with regard to people-related matters.“

She’s the most social and empathetic but she also prefers staying at her house and reading and her favorite author is Alain de Botton (which I think she said on Weekly Idol?) and that guy is a philosopher.

“de Botton deals with the process of falling in and out of love. De Botton wrote a sequel to Essays in Love, published in 2016, titled The Course of Love.”

“In The Consolations of Philosophy, de Botton attempts to demonstrate how the teachings of philosophers such as Epicurus, Montaigne, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Seneca, and Socrates can be applied to modern everyday woes. The book has been both praised and criticized for its therapeutic approach to philosophy.”

In The Architecture of Happiness[11] (2006), he discusses the nature of beauty in architecture and how it is related to the well-being and general contentment of the individual and society. He describes how architecture affects people every day, though people rarely pay particular attention to it. A good portion of the book discusses how human personality traits are reflected in architecture.

etc.

So this girl loves people, is social, also prefers to stay in and read (philosophy), is empathetic, blunt, likes schedules, mischievous, studies English and Chinese just cause she wants to improve in those things (she’s also an idol so there is a bit of a responsibility to do that but she doesn’t have to), etc. Like. Someone who knows MBTI well come type her instead cause idk. To me she’s either ISFJ or ESFJ and she seems more extroverted to me it just seems like she’s got a higher Fe than Si and so on than the other way around, but I think that’s more up to just how you perceive her I mean she is an idol and I forget a lot so ISFJ or ESFJ. 

I’ve learned a lot. Thank you for your time. Also Solji’s was the hardest and the mystery woman needs to come back so we can look into this more, agreed? Agreed. @solji when did you become so hard to figure out you’re louder than Jeonghwa sometimes

[rosedalemike]

The Mood: Blog #11 “WTF is next, ROSEDALE?!”

     I've had so many random ideas for what this next blog should be about. I wanna try to stay on track with the story of Rosedale's farewell/next chapter as that seems to be the most common topic with the lovely Rosedaliens that have been coming out to shows.      But the truth is that I'm just as unsure as everyone else. I don't even have a clear vision of what I picture September looking like. I guess my plan in September is to plan what 2019 is going to look like. 2019 seems so much further than it actually is, I'm sure.      The only things I'm sure of are that I would like to: 1: be a helpful contribution to music scenes (artists, venues, promoters, fans etc.) using more than just my own voice. 2: keep making new music under a different name (using my voice ...maybe some features...maybe a band? Who knows. I'd love for someone else to decide that.) 3: continue to work with other artists on their art and ideas.      I know those are all vague ideas. And regarding the name delema; I have a giant draft email to myself (the most common email address in my inbox is rosedalebooking@gmail.com) that has a bunch of artist names and band names. Some are pretty good, some are not. 

Self-Lyric Party: 

" 'cause I live entirely for the self-satisfaction that I made this- I turn Whiter than a song in C as I watch the room empty No! Just press on, believe. My numbers are truly sad Tell me again; can I beat Quicksand? Yes I Can! " - Quicksand

    As I check back to my last blog (to see how I quote/credit a lyric party...to keep continuity) I noticed that google placed a Chipotle add on the right side of the blog page! This is likely because I searched Chipotle at least 10 times in this past week. And that is because there is new company in the new Rosedale crew already and Chipotle sometimes hooks up traveling musicians with free food. 

     Her name is Siena. We all know Bryan, right? (cousin, hockey guy, #1 merch dude/email address collector...) Siena is the female Bryan. But luckily, she's not my cousin. I mean it'd be awesome to have known her all my life (like I've known Bryan all my life,) but for "heart-crush" reasons, I'm really glad she's most definitely not my cousin. 

     I met Siena at our San Diego show in November 2017. I say "our" because she's in a band called Going Postal, and they played that Soma show too. Like many bands today, they'll admit that their future is a giant question mark. But unlike many bands today, they sound awesome! 

Check them out

.https://goingpostalca.bandcamp.com/releases

     I call Siena "S Money" because one of her friends she was facetiming called her that and I, too, wanted to sound gangsta- "DJ $ Money" to be exact. Siena is finishing her final online college classes while traveling around America with me and selling my merch. When she's not selling merch she's helping me move my insane amounts of gear. When she's not selling merch and moving my insane amounts of gear she's teaching me how to promote in a more professional manner by helping me post enticing social media posts/stories/streams more regularly/organically. 

     Siena is a very kind-hearted, helpful champion that is way too chill to be so attractive. I just may be the luckiest Tall Canadian with Way Too Much Gear to have her on tour with me. After this tour she's moving to LA to become a world famous movie star so I only have about a month more of her awesomeness. She likes animals a lot, especially animal memes/vines. Mostly cats and dogs. So share/send any good ones and I'll make sure she sees them. (I'm also currently tethering off her wifi hotspot because all of Ohio's wifi is down right now.)

      Now that I've made you feel warm with paragraphs of cute kittens and puppies and rock n' roll princesses and awesome music and free Chipotle and sharing wifi; I must reveal some bad news; MY BACK IS F**KED!!! I somehow slowly injured my lower back while walking down some rusty stairs at the wrestling ring venue in Benwood, WV last Tuesday. I was getting ready to catch a little light-up-with-movement Nerf football, moving no different than any human casually walking down a set of stairs- then all of a sudden I felt my back juice trickling into the lower center of my back.     Don't be alarmed, this is not a career ending injury or anything. This actually happens to me every two years or so. And this time is not nearly as bad as the last time (when I was filling in for my Dad in his Canadian Tire men's hockey league and I casually skated behind my net to find out how 3 weeks of near paralyzing lower back pain felt.)      It's funny; when people ask if I have tall people back problems and I'm not dealing with back problems at that given moment, I usually reply "nope". But as soon as I do experience my dual-annually (I made up that word...) back pain, I remember the last time I had severe back pain.       So anyway, I had to cancel two shows and I'm not happy about it. It's getting better. I'm three days without pain relief meds. Stretching a lot. Rubbing Tiger Balm and Icey Hot every few hours. Just taking it easy in Cincinnati until Atlanta's show on Tuesday. That show is gonna be really awesome and there’s no way I’m missing it.      I played drums for a band on Warped tour in Dallas too. That was pretty fun. I learned their songs in three days. They have a lot of air horns in their music so I went kind of overboard with the Roland Pad's air horn sample. (Maybe that's why they found a replacement drummer for Pittsburgh Warped.)      It was fun seeing the Warped Tour for the last year and getting to play on stage again. We also went to the Cincinnati Warped Tour and learned what heat stroke felt like.

     Enough updates on my odd summer. I'll wrap it up with some insightful life/music stuff as I'm hanging out with the infamous Alex Baker.  https://alexanderbaker.bandcamp.com/ First though, his dad told us one of the greatest dad joke of all time: 

DAD JOKE PARTY:

"I was trying to think of a good reason to go to Switzerland and then I realized the flag was a big plus." 

But for real; we were talking about how things would be so different if we had just been understanding with our ex-bandmates in the golden years. We were all young and surrounded by the odd discovery of egos driven by art/success.  Alex was in a band called Dewey Decibel  https://alexanderbaker.bandcamp.com/album/the-dusting-dewey-decibel They had a fun indie style with a really organic, interesting production. Dewey Decibel recorded their album in their house in Nashville. From the sounds of it, once they started getting attention from NPR and local radio stations things started getting to everyone's heads. 

     It's not uncommon for a band to get along really well when things are on the up then fall apart when the going gets tough. The more I see it the more I understand the damage it did to Rosedale.      But on the other end of that unfortunate reality is the fact that I never would have met Alex Baker if the Rockstar ego-turmoil didn't happen to Dewey Decibel and Rosedale. I probably wouldn't have met Siana (AKA DJ $ Money) either. I'm not preaching that everything happens for a reason. I'm just kinda preaching that if you take the inevitable destructive events in life and turn them into fuel to move on and stay positive, better relationships grow. And those relationships are better because you've grown and learned how to be a better person.       So, like I keep driving home in all of these "Farewell Blogs", I'm looking forward to where things go. I'm happy I've experienced all the curveballs along the way to teach me how to eventually hit some home runs. I feel like I'm on the right track with these new friends that I've only met through grinding past the hard times and pressing on for what I had my heart set on.       Do you ever think of how you came to know some of your best friends? Like what events led them/you there that day and how grateful you are for those events and the transparent friendships they created? I know facebook gives us the ol "5 years of friendship" tag or whatever. But sometimes I see those and think "ohhh if you only knew, facebook...me and Casey Phillips go WAY BACK!"      Anyway that's all for now. If you've been thinking of meeting me or Siena or Alex Baker the best way/time to do it is to come out to an event we're at and experience some in person hangouts. This will be the last few weeks of touring for quite some time for me so really try to highlight these dates and make a solid effort to come catch a show. I promise you will not regret it. 

UPCOMING SHOWS:  7/24 - Atlanta,GA @ The Masquerade  7/27 - Jacksonville, FL @ Jackrabbits 7/29 - St. Augustine, FL @ Sarbez 8/3 - Pittsburgh, PA @ Black Forge Coffee 8/4 - Niagara, NY @ Evening Star 8/7 - Brampton, ON @ Spot 1 8/10 - Charleston, WV @ The Empty Glass 8/11 - Myrtle Beach, SC @ TBA Then a bunch of East Coast tour dates.

[bewitchthequeen]

Caleo Makes Me Cringe And Here’s Why

Yet another Heroes of Olympus anti list for your asses so prepare your butts because I’m about to blow ‘em clean off.

Note: Usually things apply. If you like Caleo and don’t care to hear counter opinions and that makes you aggressive and mean then this isn’t something you’re interested in, I’m going to have to ask you to move along :D I’m entitled to my opinions as you are yours. Any aggression targeted at me because I don’t ship what you ship will be treated with demeaning responses

You have been warned

Side Note: I have nothing but love for Rick Riordan, these are solely my opinions, which I’m entitled to have.

If you have anything to include, feel free to add your own thoughts.

I’m putting this under a Read More so people who don’t want to see this doesn’t have to.

1. To the people who say that Caleo is the best ship because “it’s not incest”. You are wrong. Calypso is Atlas’ daughter, Leo is Hephaestus’ son.  In Riordan verse, Atlas is Iapetus’ son, Iapetus is Kronos/Cronus’ brother, Kronos/Cronus is Zeus and Hera’s father, Hera is Hephaestus’ mother (and in some myths Zeus is his “biological” dad but we’ll ignore this for the riordan verse). If you’re using the incest card, it’s still incest as all gods and titans are related in some way as they all came from Gaea in some way, shape, or form. So kissing cousins apply here and that makes your argument invalid. Claiming it’s the only “healthy” or not gross ship is a lie or you could go along with Rick and his “genetics are a human thing”. The choice is yours.

2. They started out hating each other but skipped the whole tolerating/friendship stage and basically went straight into romance which doesn’t work for the short amount of time they were together. It was a weak build up and even now Leo looks like a lovestruck little boy while Calypso seems to be rather aloof and disengaged from the relationship. Kind of like now that people are around to see them she doesn’t want to be seen romantically with him? At least, that’s how it looks to me. This is my perception.

3. Calypso seems very angry still and I feel like it would be better for her to work on that solo rather than be in a relationship where she needs to kind of take it a lot slower than she would if she was alone. She has to take another person’s feelings into account so that’s not the best for someone with so much pent up anger. Take it from someone who has had something like that.

4. What would have been a more powerful story line for both of them would have been Leo realizing he doesn’t need to be in a relationship to feel validated and cared for. That being the 7th wheel isn’t a bad thing unless you perceive it that way. It’s a flaw with most books like this and young adult books. All the main characters simply have to be in a relationship. It seems like it’s a must and it’s not. A fair amount of people go through high school without dating. I had two boyfriends, one that lasted for a month (and he gave me fucking panic attacks) and then one that lasted about six months (before a tragedy), but I had friends who had been dating their S.O. since freshman year, some who chewed through boyfriends like no tomorrow, some who didn’t want to date, and some who just never dated. For what seems to be every young adult book ever, there are couples even if feelings don’t bloom until the very end of the book. So imagine my disappointment at how unrealistic these are becoming? It seems literally everyone in PJO/HoO/ToA are in a relationship even background and minor characters. I feel like it’s because people suspect this out of Rick now, and it makes me feel bad that he feels he needs to pair everyone up. I can’t imagine how stressful that must be. He shouldn’t have to do that. There’s this wonderful thing called fan fiction; you can read it, write it, and explore it. You don’t need to make that poor man feels like everyone needs to be in a relationship. It has negative affects/effects on people that age who reads them because then they feel like they need to be in a relationship to feel validated (like Leo) and could possibly end up in a bad relationship or feel like there’s something wrong with them for not being in one.

5. For Calypso because #4 was so long. Calypso’s story would have been a lot more powerful had she learned to love herself and the boat come for her. It would have been a real strong hit like “You don’t need someone to save you” and “You can save yourself” and self love promotion. (Honestly, both of their storylines could have done that but those opportunities were missed unless it gets horrendously retconned). In this day and age, I definitely feel like promoting self love is more powerful than Caleo unless you’re looking at it through rose colored glasses, like most shippers do. I’m guilty of this myself. I love Leo and I love Calypso, I just feel like there was a missed opportunity here.

6. Leo saving Calypso kind of made Percy look bad. This is a no-no. Making one character look bad for a relationship is a no-no. Percy usually keeps his promises. The only one I’ve seen him not keep was Bianca and even then I’m not 100% that was a promise? I don’t know. I just don’t like that Percy just “forgot” and basically made him like the other heroes that landed on Calypso’s island. I’m confident that’s not something that Percy would just “forget” but whatever. There’s a lot with HoO that I don’t like when it comes to Percy but that’s a post for another time.

7. Okay this is just because I seen a post from a pro caleo blog (and I’m not going to tag cause I don’t want to start a fight since this is a personal opinion and they made it clear they’re going to “defend caleo till they die”. I’m not trying to talk anyone out of anything. I’m stating my opinions, but claiming things about other ships without acknowledging your own ships faults is a no-no. (that’s the reasoning for the first reason on here). Here’s my defense (despite the fact I don’t really ship any of the canon ships but unfair attacks are unfair attacks) alright so here we go.      a. “ Percabeth = Incest.” See #1 because Caleo is also incest and I explained it above making this a useless excuse to ship Caleo.      b. “Tysella = Furry.” Okay, but Ella is a harpy and Tyson is a cyclopes. I don’t understand why furry is being claimed here but okay. You’re entitled to your opinion, but harpies were never considered animals as they are mythical creatures and I, personally, don’t include mythical creatures as furries but aiight. Furries have fur, not feathers. I haven’t seen any furries/fursonas with feathers. If I’m wrong all I ask is that you prove it without being vulgar.       c. “Grover/Juniper = Furry” Okay. Grover is a satyr which doesn’t really strike me as Furry since it’s humanoid, same with Ella, so it’s not furry as furry are completely animals? And anyways Juniper is basically a fucking nature spirit? It’s basically similar to how a dog likes rolling around in the grass? Whatever though       d. “Jason and Piper = Incest” again so is Caleo. skip Frank and Hazel because nothing was really said on this.       e. “Paul and Sally = Sally’s probably traumatized by Gabe beating the shit out of her” Okay, what does that have to do with Paul and Sally? That’s completely irrelevant to Paul and Sally’s relationship especially since there’s no hint at Paul being abusive to Sally? Sure, Sally is probably traumatized, but I would think she’s working through that since she seems to have a functioning relationship. But what does Sally’s trauma have to do with Paul? Weak excuse.       f. “Solangelo = Not only is Nico 85 while Will 14 but he’s possessive etc, etc”. Okay, but Nico is technically 14 himself? I mean, yes, he was born way back, but if we’re looking at age here Calypso is thousands of years older than Leo. And with possessive, I’m pretty sure Leo got mad at Percy about Calypso and was even kind of mad/jealous of Jason while he was trapped on the island because of Calypso not being interested in him and basically calling him scrawny or something like that. And Nico is in the body of a fourteen year old, he has the mind of a fourteen year old. He is a fourteen year old. He is in the mental state of a fourteen year old. Do you know how unsettling that would be if he dated someone “his own age”? His growth, mentally and physically, have been stunted thanks to the Lotus Hotel, so Nico di Angelo is a fucking fourteen year old. Let’s be clear that I don’t ship Solangelo, but after the shit that kid has been through he deserves to be happy. He lost all of his family, was forcibly outed by his sexuality by an asshole god, went through Tartarus by himself, and had to deal with feeling lost in a world that he didn’t feel accept him even among his peers/the people who should have understood him the most. If anyone deserves to be happy. It’s him. Fucking drop it.       g. “Chris/Clarisse” we’re back at incest and I’m back at Caleo being incest.       h. “Charles and Selena” again with incest because their parents are married. Atlas is Hephaestus’ great uncle so that’s seriously your kid dating your cousin. But Caleo isn’t creepy or incest. Okay thanks. Beckendorf and Silena are a ship that I actually enjoyed because they gave a shit about each other and loved each other despite parentage and then they died and it broke my heart. Honestly, if you find this creepy, a mother and daughter dated a police officer and his son in the Scream TV Series. That I found weird especially since that was all biological. Rick already said that genetics and gods aren’t a thing. The fact that I’m saying this more that once is exhausting. Just because your parents are married doesn’t mean it’s incest. To make this less creepy, Hephaestus and Aphrodite never had children and it’s a bullshit marriage anyways so. Whatever.

Honestly, if you’re going to be biased, at least know your facts. 

That’s all I got now, feel free to start a discussion.

[aartisenblog]

GET THIS BOOK Author: Mark Manson Published in: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform ISBN: 978-14637-5035-0 File Type: epub File Size: 1 MB Language: English Description For anyone who has tried to write a book like Models Attract Women Through Honesty, they know that starting it is the most daunting part. There were so many considerations, so many ideas, so many goals and ambitions. And for a few days, I was paralyzed with all of the potential. But I soon decided to limit myself to one specific aim. I asked myself, “What book do I wish I would have read when I was single and struggling in my dating life? If I had only read one book, what do I wish it had told me?” As the weeks went by, it turned out that I wished it had told me a lot. The book spilled out of me in a somewhat involuntary manner, a kind of intellectual vomit. I was touring Europe, giving talks and coaching live at the time, and I would often finish up a session with a client or do a Q&A with a small audience and immediately run to my hotel room to jot some of the ideas that had spewed out of my mouth into the now ballooning book. I also decided early on that I wanted to make the book different stylistically. I had read pretty much every other dating advice book on the market and thought most of them were garbage. I already knew the core ideas of Attract Women Through Honesty book were going to be different – deeper, more personal, more emotional. But I also wanted the style of the book to be different. Perhaps I was up my own ass with self-importance, but I wanted to give it a bit more of a literary flair. I wanted the beauty and joy of the dating experience to come across in the writing itself. I didn’t just want to lay out step-by-step plans and information to be memorized, I wanted to move the reader, since after all, the whole point of the book is that dating and romance is about just that: allowing yourself to be moved, both emotionally and physically. I wrote the book Models Attract Women Through Honesty in less than three months. Most of it was written in hotel rooms and small apartments across Europe: first London, then Bristol, then Prague, then St. Peters burg, and it was finally finished in Budapest. The first version of the book was long and sloppy: 366 pages, with at least that many typos, grammatical errors, and dumb tangents. At the time, my aspirations were fairly pedestrian. I wanted to be able to make some money online without having to physically be in one spot, as almost four years of constant travel to do the coaching thing was wearing on me. But I also wanted to get my ideas out into the world and hopefully make a dent in the dating advice industry since, at the time, I felt that what I had to say was quite different from the vast majority of toxic “Pick Up” advice that was being taught to men. The book Models Attract Women Through Honesty came out on July 5th, 2011. It was self-published through Amazon and my own website. That first month it only sold a few hundred copies – mostly blog readers and former clients of mine. Many of them reported to me many of the mistakes and helped me edit it over the proceeding weeks and a few small updates were released soon after. By the fall of that year, I felt good that it was out there and people liked it and soon moved on to other projects. But as the months rolled on, the book began to take on a life of its own. With no marketing, no publicity, no promotion, and a shitty cover I made myself in Photoshop, the book’s sales grew exponentially each month. Like a mind virus, infecting people’s brains so that they could move on and infect others, men began recommending it to their friends, and then their friends recommended it to their friends, and soon their friends’ friends were buying it for their brothers and cousins and even newly divorced fathers and uncles. It was soon being recommended on websites and forums so much that I began to get emails asking me to stop spamming. But I wasn’t spamming. I wasn’t doing anything. It was simply the readers. By early 2012, to my pleasant surprise, I was earning enough to make a living as an author. So I quit coaching and focused solely on my writing. That same summer I also gave the book its first real revision. I hired a designer to create a real cover. I chopped about 50 of the more pedantic and excessive pages. I simplified some of the terms and theories and tried to make them more reader-friendly. What I consider the first ‘professional’ version of Models was released in August of 2012. From there the book Models Attract Women Through Honesty went on to become the highest selling men’s dating advice book for years at a time, outselling mainstays such as Neil Strauss’s The Game and Erik Von Markovik’s The Mystery Method, often even outselling most women’s dating advice books, which is kind of unheard of in the industry. It was a perennial bestseller in the category on Amazon and has actually reached a point where many popular men’s dating advice forums and sites list it with a “read this before asking any questions” note in their FAQs or sidebars. By 2013, I felt as though I was finished with the Attract Women Through Honesty book. I was ready to move on. I was preparing to relaunch my site and start writing articles for both genders with topics ranging from personal psychology to the cultural effects of smartphones and news feeds. I was leaving dating advice behind for good. Over the next two years, my site’s popularity exploded. Over 20 million people read it in 2015 alone. Yet Models has always persisted, always there in the background. Always a throbbing reminder of where I came from, as well as the virtue of taking a calculated risk and seeing where it led me. Because, most people don’t realize this now, but Models was a huge risk when it came out. See, back in 2011, few pieces of dating or relationship advice talked about blunt honesty, about accepting rejection or even polarizing people for negative responses. Vulnerability was considered a vulgar word among most men and anything that didn’t get you laid as soon as possible was often deemed pointless, or even worse, being “beta.”

[fesahaawit]

A handful of SUPER clever ways to spend $100 this holiday season :) PLUS: Our Christmas Stimulus winners!

‘Sup sup!

J. Money Claus here to spread the wealth, both literally and figuratively! ;)

Just spent three solid hours reading and responding to all the great entries from last week’s Christmas Stimulus giveaway (over 800+ comments!), and WOW was it fascinating! You guys are so freakin’ creative!! We had the usual “I’d pay down debts” or “I’d bank it/invest it” or “I’d give it all away to charity” responses of course, but I was blown away by the level of thought that a lot of you put into this too.

You’re good :)

But since I can’t give $100 to *everyone* who made me smile today (and also because I made this a *randomized* drawing vs hand-picking the winners), I wanted to showcase a lot of these gems I came across in case they help you with your OWN ideas for the upcoming holidays, but also just to show these commenters some love too. Perhaps the fame you get off it today will amount to more than $100 over time? I mean, this IS the most fantastic blog in the world, you know!

Before we get to all that though, let me announce the 5 people who DID win the contest so you’re not biting off all your nails and annoying your co-workers.

So drum roll please…. dum ditty dum ditty dum…

The 5 lucky winners of $100 a piece are:

Nicole P.

Maisie

Sarah P. 

Danny (Commenter #633)

Mike (Commenter #756)

Woo! Congrats! I’ll be reaching out to you on the side to get your money, and be sure to not be strangers the rest of the year as if this was some sort of Church where you only pop over on the “important” days ;) Free education is better than free money, damnit!!

Now to the fun ways to use $100 this holiday!

(Or really, any time – because why only be nice once a year?)

We’ll start with the ones that made me laugh the hardest, and then go down the list to those that were just clever as hell, and then finally right into the ones that make you say, “awwwwww….”

Runners up to the people who mentioned: Chuck E. Cheese’s, doorbells, monks, manatees, accordions, tacos, sensory deprivation tanks (?), pickles, cabin escapes, tequila, fruit roll-ups, marijuana stock, escape rooms, “dutch ovens” (hah!), lunch tables, baseball cards, greenhouses, livestock water troughs, and finally to the one who almost made me spit out my coffee with their “Careergasm courses” line, haha… *goes to turn browser on “private” mode*

Now to the ones we’re paying in fame:

*******

The Prankster

I’d take it to the bank and ask for all quarters, and then take the quarters and glue them to the sidewalk and sit on my porch with my phone filming all the kids so excited to see 400 quarters on the ground, and then me laughing at them because they can’t pick them up.

Then I’d start a YouTube channel with my daily videos and take my millions of dollars from my massive subscriber growth and buy a cabin up in the mountains and buy all the turtles from pet stores to start training them to fight terrorism and then set them free all around the world. – Lance

*******

The Jeffersonian

First I would ask to be paid in $2 bills! Then I would stack those Jefferson’s as high as they would go and just admire them a bit. Then I would hop on my electric bike and head downtown handing them out to anyone in need, ending up at my favorite watering hole with just three of them left. I would then order my favorite IPA and drop my last three Jefferson’s on the unsuspecting waitress and call it a day! – bmiles62

*******

The Convert

I’d convert the $100 all into pennies and leave noticeable and various pennies around the house to drive my brother crazy. – Kevin

(Editor’s Note: I don’t know why that would drive him crazy? It’s FREE MONEY!!! :))

*******

The Goldbug

I would buy gold. Then, I would ask my friends what they would do if they had $100 worth of gold. The best response gets the gold! – Meghan

*******

The Kidder

I would use the $100 on hookers and blow. Just kidding. Something boring like saving for my kids education. – Josh

*******

The Original Zac Efron

I’ll buy 2 MyHeritage DNA kits at a discount. One for myself and another for Zac Efron. I wanna prove everyone wrong that he’s not my twin brother :) – Menard

(Editor’s Note: I actually DO want this kit! It’s pretty cool!!)

*******

The Gamer

I would throw a $100 party. It would consist of me and my girlfriend maybe a brother or cousin in there randomly sitting on the couch at my place drinking crown royal (750ml) $22.97. I would eventually get off the couch, and cook up some ribs (3 racks $38) that had been marinating in the fridge over night (spices and various ingredients $10). After the food is consumed we would partake in a intense game of drunkin-go-kart on the Nintendo 64 (24 pack of Bud Light of Coors Light $20). With the remaining $9.03 we would donate it to a random homeless person. – Heath

*******

The Gambler

Put aside for buying lottery tickets in all of 2018, because someone once said “Is $1 a week worth a chance to win $100,000,000 or even $1,000,000,000?” For me it is. – Nitin

*******

The Adventurer

We’re looking to convert a school bus over the next year and then take a leap year to travel with our 5 kids (ages 4 months-18yrs) all over the US. I’d add it to our school bus fund! – Aden

*******

The Stealthy Kleenexer

I will exchange them into 100 $1 bills and treat my 10 friends with a box of Kleenex each for Christmas. And after the first couple of Kleenex, there will be surprises waiting. – Kim

*******

The Money Oozer ;)

I would use an extra $100 to buy a bottle of Chanel Mademoiselle perfume. My kids love it when Mommy smells good and it makes me feel sexy – LIKE $$ MONEY $$! – Rebekah

*******

The Dollar Tree Fan

I would get 50 $1.00 bills and hide them around the Dollar Tree with my granddaughter. Then take her to lunch and leave the rest for a tip. What a fun day! – Rose

*******

The Financial Gabber

I would use it to pay you $100 for a 30 minute phone call for some financial advice. This would be the biggest gift of all. I feel like the hardest part is talking about money with other people (no one want’s to hear your problems) and it’s driving me crazy because I really want to talk about it and get good sound advice on how to get out of the mess I’m in. – Mike

(Editor’s Note: This is actually a REALLY good idea and there’s a big need for this in our community! Unfortunately I don’t do coaching anymore, but here’s a list of other people in our space here that do – in case anyone else is looking for a good money coach: http://ift.tt/2jvY42T)

*******

The Brainstormer

I have 2 Ebay stores that have been running for a few years now and need to know how to increase our sales… I would use this for a brainstorm session at our local Panera or Starbucks hoping to find someone that could help me with promotion of our sites – or run a contest online for the best idea. – Kate

*******

The Quitter

I will put in my 2-weeks notice at my job for early/mini-retirement on Friday! – JP

(Editor’s Note: I sure hope $100 isn’t the only thing stopping you from doing this! :))

*******

The Self-Promoter/Do-good-er ;)

I’d buy 49 copies of my book, Success: For Minority Teens (& Their Friends) at $4.99/copy, defraying the cost of taxes, and I’d give these to 49 of my most needy 8th grade students at school. So many need a book like mine but can’t afford to buy on Amazon. – Carlos Gomez

*******

The Gardener

I would buy $100 worth of seeds, plant them and go back and give them out to all of my elementary school classrooms. Learning how to tend to a garden, getting your hands dirty, keeping plants alive and getting to enjoy the result of your hard work is one of those timeless lessons that is hard to recreate in our candy crush obsessed society. – Alicia

******* The Compassionate Knitter

If I won the money I’d use it to buy yarn to knit a blanket for my mother-in-law. The yarn is sort of expensive, like $70 per blanket, and it takes about 15 hours of knitting (so not a smart time or money investment) but it is a handmade blanket, and relationships with the in-laws are important. – Hannah

*******

The Knowledge Pusher

I’ll use the money to buy books related to Investing and give them away to my coworkers. I have given 2 books away for my coworkers In the past years: Total Money Makeover, The Millionaire Teacher. – Vielka

*******

The Tree Gifter

I’d use $100 to purchase a bike for a little boy – there’s a giving tree at my local wellness center with tags listing gift wishes from local children in need. This particular tag has been languishing as it’s a request for a larger gift. I’ve purchased a few gifts to match other requests, and saw this tag when I delivered the gifts. It’s been weighing on me since – I’d hate for this little one to go without and will find a way to get a bike to him – Heather

*******

The Perfect Wife ;)

I would use the money to buy my husband 10 movie tickets so he could get out of the house, take a break from the kids, and treat himself to a movie about once a month! – Kayla

*******

The Fiscal Librarian

I’d use the money for books that I want to read. Then I’d donate the books to my local library so everyone else will have a chance to read them too. Not a big choice for money management, retirement, investment, or financial books available and I’d like to change that. – Michelle

*******

The Best Christmas Game (Not really an entry, but still a fun idea!)

Every participant puts in twenty bucks cash. The wad of money is wrapped in paper, then more, then a box, then more paper, another box, etc. until you have a large box wrapped. You set a timer or play music and you have only so many seconds to unwrap. When the timer dings, you have to pass the wrapped wad of cash. Whoever touches the cash first wins it all!!! One year I used my teeth – she said it wasn’t allowed but I say house rules. – Victoria

 *******

And lastly, The Boobie Award

I’m not going to lie, I’d probably blow the $100 on food and drink for Christmas day… Probably why I’m in debt and reading this blog… – Kate

And that’s why they pay me the big bucks ;)

Happy weekend, y’all!

****** Links to Amazon products above are affiliate links, and I want you to buy 1,000,000 of those books/DNA kits so I can give away another $500 and keep being entertained by you all… Make it happen!

[Photo by Dakota Corbin via Unsplash]

A handful of SUPER clever ways to spend $100 this holiday season :) PLUS: Our Christmas Stimulus winners! posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[heliosfinance]

A handful of SUPER clever ways to spend $100 this holiday season :) PLUS: Our Christmas Stimulus winners!

‘Sup sup!

J. Money Claus here to spread the wealth, both literally and figuratively! ;)

Just spent three solid hours reading and responding to all the great entries from last week’s Christmas Stimulus giveaway (over 800+ comments!), and WOW was it fascinating! You guys are so freakin’ creative!! We had the usual “I’d pay down debts” or “I’d bank it/invest it” or “I’d give it all away to charity” responses of course, but I was blown away by the level of thought that a lot of you put into this too.

You’re good :)

But since I can’t give $100 to *everyone* who made me smile today (and also because I made this a *randomized* drawing vs hand-picking the winners), I wanted to showcase a lot of these gems I came across in case they help you with your OWN ideas for the upcoming holidays, but also just to show these commenters some love too. Perhaps the fame you get off it today will amount to more than $100 over time? I mean, this IS the most fantastic blog in the world, you know!

Before we get to all that though, let me announce the 5 people who DID win the contest so you’re not biting off all your nails and annoying your co-workers.

So drum roll please…. dum ditty dum ditty dum…

The 5 lucky winners of $100 a piece are:

Nicole P.

Maisie

Sarah P. 

Danny (Commenter #633)

Mike (Commenter #756)

Woo! Congrats! I’ll be reaching out to you on the side to get your money, and be sure to not be strangers the rest of the year as if this was some sort of Church where you only pop over on the “important” days ;) Free education is better than free money, damnit!!

Now to the fun ways to use $100 this holiday!

(Or really, any time – because why only be nice once a year?)

We’ll start with the ones that made me laugh the hardest, and then go down the list to those that were just clever as hell, and then finally right into the ones that make you say, “awwwwww….”

Runners up to the people who mentioned: Chuck E. Cheese’s, doorbells, monks, manatees, accordions, tacos, sensory deprivation tanks (?), pickles, cabin escapes, tequila, fruit roll-ups, marijuana stock, escape rooms, “dutch ovens” (hah!), lunch tables, baseball cards, greenhouses, livestock water troughs, and finally to the one who almost made me spit out my coffee with their “Careergasm courses” line, haha… *goes to turn browser on “private” mode*

Now to the ones we’re paying in fame:

*******

The Prankster

I’d take it to the bank and ask for all quarters, and then take the quarters and glue them to the sidewalk and sit on my porch with my phone filming all the kids so excited to see 400 quarters on the ground, and then me laughing at them because they can’t pick them up.

Then I’d start a YouTube channel with my daily videos and take my millions of dollars from my massive subscriber growth and buy a cabin up in the mountains and buy all the turtles from pet stores to start training them to fight terrorism and then set them free all around the world. – Lance

*******

The Jeffersonian

First I would ask to be paid in $2 bills! Then I would stack those Jefferson’s as high as they would go and just admire them a bit. Then I would hop on my electric bike and head downtown handing them out to anyone in need, ending up at my favorite watering hole with just three of them left. I would then order my favorite IPA and drop my last three Jefferson’s on the unsuspecting waitress and call it a day! – bmiles62

*******

The Convert

I’d convert the $100 all into pennies and leave noticeable and various pennies around the house to drive my brother crazy. – Kevin

(Editor’s Note: I don’t know why that would drive him crazy? It’s FREE MONEY!!! :))

*******

The Goldbug

I would buy gold. Then, I would ask my friends what they would do if they had $100 worth of gold. The best response gets the gold! – Meghan

*******

The Kidder

I would use the $100 on hookers and blow. Just kidding. Something boring like saving for my kids education. – Josh

*******

The Original Zac Efron

I’ll buy 2 MyHeritage DNA kits at a discount. One for myself and another for Zac Efron. I wanna prove everyone wrong that he’s not my twin brother :) – Menard

(Editor’s Note: I actually DO want this kit! It’s pretty cool!!)

*******

The Gamer

I would throw a $100 party. It would consist of me and my girlfriend maybe a brother or cousin in there randomly sitting on the couch at my place drinking crown royal (750ml) $22.97. I would eventually get off the couch, and cook up some ribs (3 racks $38) that had been marinating in the fridge over night (spices and various ingredients $10). After the food is consumed we would partake in a intense game of drunkin-go-kart on the Nintendo 64 (24 pack of Bud Light of Coors Light $20). With the remaining $9.03 we would donate it to a random homeless person. – Heath

*******

The Gambler

Put aside for buying lottery tickets in all of 2018, because someone once said “Is $1 a week worth a chance to win $100,000,000 or even $1,000,000,000?” For me it is. – Nitin

*******

The Adventurer

We’re looking to convert a school bus over the next year and then take a leap year to travel with our 5 kids (ages 4 months-18yrs) all over the US. I’d add it to our school bus fund! – Aden

*******

The Stealthy Kleenexer

I will exchange them into 100 $1 bills and treat my 10 friends with a box of Kleenex each for Christmas. And after the first couple of Kleenex, there will be surprises waiting. – Kim

*******

The Money Oozer ;)

I would use an extra $100 to buy a bottle of Chanel Mademoiselle perfume. My kids love it when Mommy smells good and it makes me feel sexy – LIKE $$ MONEY $$! – Rebekah

*******

The Dollar Tree Fan

I would get 50 $1.00 bills and hide them around the Dollar Tree with my granddaughter. Then take her to lunch and leave the rest for a tip. What a fun day! – Rose

*******

The Financial Gabber

I would use it to pay you $100 for a 30 minute phone call for some financial advice. This would be the biggest gift of all. I feel like the hardest part is talking about money with other people (no one want’s to hear your problems) and it’s driving me crazy because I really want to talk about it and get good sound advice on how to get out of the mess I’m in. – Mike

(Editor’s Note: This is actually a REALLY good idea and there’s a big need for this in our community! Unfortunately I don’t do coaching anymore, but here’s a list of other people in our space here that do – in case anyone else is looking for a good money coach: http://ift.tt/2jvY42T)

*******

The Brainstormer

I have 2 Ebay stores that have been running for a few years now and need to know how to increase our sales… I would use this for a brainstorm session at our local Panera or Starbucks hoping to find someone that could help me with promotion of our sites – or run a contest online for the best idea. – Kate

*******

The Quitter

I will put in my 2-weeks notice at my job for early/mini-retirement on Friday! – JP

(Editor’s Note: I sure hope $100 isn’t the only thing stopping you from doing this! :))

*******

The Self-Promoter/Do-good-er ;)

I’d buy 49 copies of my book, Success: For Minority Teens (& Their Friends) at $4.99/copy, defraying the cost of taxes, and I’d give these to 49 of my most needy 8th grade students at school. So many need a book like mine but can’t afford to buy on Amazon. – Carlos Gomez

*******

The Gardener

I would buy $100 worth of seeds, plant them and go back and give them out to all of my elementary school classrooms. Learning how to tend to a garden, getting your hands dirty, keeping plants alive and getting to enjoy the result of your hard work is one of those timeless lessons that is hard to recreate in our candy crush obsessed society. – Alicia

******* The Compassionate Knitter

If I won the money I’d use it to buy yarn to knit a blanket for my mother-in-law. The yarn is sort of expensive, like $70 per blanket, and it takes about 15 hours of knitting (so not a smart time or money investment) but it is a handmade blanket, and relationships with the in-laws are important. – Hannah

*******

The Knowledge Pusher

I’ll use the money to buy books related to Investing and give them away to my coworkers. I have given 2 books away for my coworkers In the past years: Total Money Makeover, The Millionaire Teacher. – Vielka

*******

The Tree Gifter

I’d use $100 to purchase a bike for a little boy – there’s a giving tree at my local wellness center with tags listing gift wishes from local children in need. This particular tag has been languishing as it’s a request for a larger gift. I’ve purchased a few gifts to match other requests, and saw this tag when I delivered the gifts. It’s been weighing on me since – I’d hate for this little one to go without and will find a way to get a bike to him – Heather

*******

The Perfect Wife ;)

I would use the money to buy my husband 10 movie tickets so he could get out of the house, take a break from the kids, and treat himself to a movie about once a month! – Kayla

*******

The Fiscal Librarian

I’d use the money for books that I want to read. Then I’d donate the books to my local library so everyone else will have a chance to read them too. Not a big choice for money management, retirement, investment, or financial books available and I’d like to change that. – Michelle

*******

The Best Christmas Game (Not really an entry, but still a fun idea!)

Every participant puts in twenty bucks cash. The wad of money is wrapped in paper, then more, then a box, then more paper, another box, etc. until you have a large box wrapped. You set a timer or play music and you have only so many seconds to unwrap. When the timer dings, you have to pass the wrapped wad of cash. Whoever touches the cash first wins it all!!! One year I used my teeth – she said it wasn’t allowed but I say house rules. – Victoria

 *******

And lastly, The Boobie Award

I’m not going to lie, I’d probably blow the $100 on food and drink for Christmas day… Probably why I’m in debt and reading this blog… – Kate

And that’s why they pay me the big bucks ;)

Happy weekend, y’all!

****** Links to Amazon products above are affiliate links, and I want you to buy 1,000,000 of those books/DNA kits so I can give away another $500 and keep being entertained by you all… Make it happen!

[Photo by Dakota Corbin via Unsplash]

A handful of SUPER clever ways to spend $100 this holiday season :) PLUS: Our Christmas Stimulus winners! published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

[extraupdate-blog]

Why I Became a WordPress Blogger

New Post has been published on https://extraupdate.com/why-i-became-a-wordpress-blogger/

Why I Became a WordPress Blogger

Until currently I actually have continually favored the unfastened Blogger program supplied with the aid of Google at blogspot.Com over different strategies of running a blog. Why? Because it is so easy to installation and use, and monetize. However, Blogger has its obstacles. The most significant of that is that you do not personal your blog so you can not promote it in case you need to. And you may want to sell it at some point if it will become treasured due to the amount of income it’s far generating. It is possible to register your very own domain call and host a Blogger weblog in this domain but I determined this technically extra complex to set up.

I have usually been reluctant to take the adventure into WordPress running a blog because in advance variations appeared so confusing in particular whilst it came to trying modifications to the setup. It is feasible to install a unfastened weblog at wordpress.Com however, as first-class I can consider, there are limits on the usage of the weblog for marketing and consequently a limit on what you could earn with it. All the weblog aficionados propose using WordPress mounted in your very own domain and now I am starting to see why.

Contrary to what I imagined, I now find it’s far quite clean to install WordPress on a registered area. One of the demanding situations seems to be to discover an appropriate topic for the weblog, one that is appealing without the colors and design is dominating. The less dominating the layout the more likely your blog traffic will see your advertising and marketing, assuming you are the usage of your blog to generate some extra cash or maybe full-time profits. By suitable, I also mean a theme that’s well optimized for the search engines and which allows easy and ultimate inclusion of advertising and marketing which includes AdSense inside the posts.

But what has subsequently satisfied me to apply WordPress with my domain names is the ready availability of unfastened plugins. Plugins are small software programs which can be without problems brought to the running a blog software program to increase the alternatives to be had. I specifically favor a loose plugin referred to as Quick-Adsense which makes embedding a variety of different types of advertising and marketing anywhere in any publish a simple remember. There also are a whole host of paid plugins that could allow such things as automobile inclusion of articles, and Amazon and Clickbank advertising.

Blogging Tips For New Bloggers

1. Be Creative! The best part about blogging is that it is absolutely you! You can explicit your self, your thoughts, and your opinions. But not simply that, the entirety of your blog represents you. Get to recognize the gear, widgets, and options you have to trade the layout, coloration, background, text. Make your blog undeniably you!

2. Change it up! Not simplest can you find a perfect format, you can alternate your appearance and themes as regularly as you like! Go with the seasons! Go with your temper! Add and trade up your pictures, song, and different factors to maintain things upbeat and exciting.

3. Try multiple blogs. You don’t have to stick to one weblog. Say you have got a blog that every one your friends and the owner family realize about, and there are positive belongings you can’t say or write about because of who would possibly read it. Or say you began this blog with a positive topic or tone so that you can not write approximately different matters because it would not suit the weblog. Well, why no longer have two? You may even use a pen name and be completely anonymous on the second blog. You may want to have a deep, intellectual weblog and a brilliant, enjoyable weblog. You ought to have a dark, moody blog and a witty, expert weblog. Who says you may most effective express one aspect of your self?

4. Blog at the side. Perhaps you’re no longer a large blogger and, although you enjoy an occasional submit, you do not have the time or energy to update very frequently. Try a social network in preference to a weblog community. Most social networks, like Facebook and MySpace, have the possibility for blogging, however, there are different activities as well. From games to easy fame updates to messaging pals, you may preserve an account without having to constantly write weblog posts. Yet, you may still get a threat to put in writing a put up wherein your friends can see it whenever you want!

5. Look around! You can continually get ideas from other seasoned bloggers. You can get a notion on what to put in writing approximately, the way to layout your blog web page, and even ask questions from pro bloggers everywhere on the Internet. Check out Technorati.Com or perform a Google Blog search to discover all forms of blogs on the Internet.

6. Stay secure! Keep in thoughts that your posts are completely open to the general public. You ought to be cautious how a great deal identification information you put up on your website. Even in case you installed small bits of records here and there, all someone could do is examine all your entries to piece together quite a few statistics about you! You are in reality loose to apply a pen call and fictional names that might supply away from your area, college or paintings call to keep away from sharing an excessive amount of private records. In many cases, this will probably be encouraged.

7. Join the community! There are many bloggers like you out there who’ve some exciting stories and posts you might be inquisitive about! From the house page of your weblog host issuer, you may regularly search for weblog with comparable subjects or pastimes. You can study and touch upon other people’s posts and join their websites to get updates once they publish once more. The greater you hook up with others, the more they’ll connect with you, study your posts, and join you!

Building a weblog is comparable to building a business. Compared to the brick and mortars, a weblog is taken into consideration a low barrier to entry task; all that is needed is a computer, huge band, annual renewal expenses in your area, and internet web hosting costs.

This low entry barrier means which you do now not have tons to lose if the business does now not paintings nicely. However, on the other aspect, the low access barrier approach that loads many other entrepreneurs will be running in the equal niche as yours and it way more competitions. In low access barrier corporations, the dedication, persistence, and perseverance inside the preliminary years are what will distinguish the long time gamers from the not critical ones.

When God created man, He never assumes him to be best. You can in no way studies sufficient and put together enough to start a mission.

If you examine, most of the learning, in reality, comes after you started out a venture. Mistakes will emerge. Glitches will show their ugly head. Only then are you capable of tweak and mind hurricane to find answers to the issues?

So in place of troubling yourself with the nitty gritty technicalities, just begin your blog. It’s the adventure that matters.

Well, I fall into this lure all the time. I remembered when I started eBay, I gave up the task in the first month. Even now when I started out running a blog, I feel low after I do not see the site visitors. Fortunately, for me, I even have a mentor and my family to cheer me on.

We ought to be organized to set an extended time frame for our blogs to take off. If you can, forget about approximately the time frame and simply construct it passionately. After all, we aren’t restricted via problems like capital and budget whilst we construct our blogs. Find yourself a small group of bloggers to exchange ideas and to cheer ourselves on.

With a solid salary every month, many would find ourselves less stimulated to keep building our blogs. After all, we’re still quite well off and God knows while our blogs will take off.

You see, an enterprise man psychology differs vastly from those of the personnel. The former strives on uncertainties in which as the latter lives on false ‘stability’. A business proprietor will take calculated chance to search for new possibilities whereby a salaried guy will sit up for the give up month for his pay test.

Reprogram your mind set. Better things wait for individuals who dared to take a risk and who persevere in what they have started out.

All religion and masters train us to be thankful for our day by day ownership. Be grateful to the ones who have lifted us up in our hour of desires.

Sadly, many people didn’t have a look at this familiar reality. Look at what number of vintage humans are deserted by their youngsters. You can not just take things without any consideration and suppose that the world owes you a dwelling. Everything works underneath the law of motive and effect. If you need to be successful, supply a thought to those who have furnished you the important equipment.

Imagine these scenarios. Your next door neighbor will be stepping into an excessive end bungalow in a fancy residential place tomorrow. Your cousin has simply bought a brand new Hummer. Your ex-university mate is now the boss of a conglomerate with 1000 personnel.

The inexperienced eyed monster in us will certainly experience green with envy and might even start to bad mouth those high achievers. Instead, people with an educated thoughts might study the fulfillment memories and find a manner to combine other humans’ fulfillment into their very own schedule.

Bear in thoughts, the lessons in which you could study from each a success character you recognize. Usually, these human beings are individuals and are simply waiting to pass on their treasured talent to the right individual with an inclined mind to return their manner.

Learn how to weblog from a success web sites like Problogger.Internet, JohnChow.Com and many extras. Now, there’s no motive to be jealous, proper??

Many humans were given crushed when they gave too much notion about whether their blogs could be successful, how properly their blogs compared to the competitors and stuffs like blog marketing, search engine optimization, area registration, solving technical system faults and more.

Life is ready tackling and getting to know from each little struggle. Break up the procedure, and let us do one issue at a time. You should check on a website these days. Research for an internet host the next day. Engage a web host in three days. Stop and relax if you are careworn. Continue with the installation of WordPress after you have got rested.