#this is actually my first time drawing him so this is more a concept art that got above it's station

[egglygreg]

Ok, so I had this dream last night right? And it was mostly nonsensical and weird and silly, but there was this moment...

[miru667]

The whole Once-ler family is working full tilt!

Here's my full piece for the VK Onceler Zine! I was very lucky to get to be a part of it...🥹 I used concept art as my inspiration this time: [link] Keep reading below for my process vid and all my director's commentary!

Thank you for being curious! Here's a video of my WIPs:

Deadlines were TIGHT for this zine! We were given only 2 months (compared to the 6 months I had on the previous onceler zine), so to make sure I could finish on time, I decided to do only base colours and lighting, with almost no shading anywhere. Still, trying to balance all the colours took the longest for me, as you can see in the vid. xP

Also idk if anyone noticed, but for the face I chose to use an already existing onceler doodle: [link] Why? Well, why not! I really liked that doodle and I didn't want it to go to waste. 😆

Things that I enjoyed sneaking in:

-the golden spiral! Vaguely, at least! At the very least I hope your eyes can follow the order of thneed production, from the fallen tree at the window to the tuft harvesting to the thread spinning, to knitting the thneed and then drawing up plans for bigger and better things, and then ending with him pulling on his iconic glove to show he's going to take control now

-15 cents, a nail, and a great great great grandfather snail, as well as a tin pail since that's where you're supposed to deposit your payment

-combining things from the 2012 movie and concept art, the 1972 movie, and the 1971 book (e.g. that funny wrench he uses to fix pipes)

-Miss O'Schmunce-ler! You can see from the vid that I added the bracelet pretty late, because it was a late decision to have a Miss O'Schumunce-ler somewhere. I chose her to be the one picking up the pencil in the end, since she's pretty good with a pencil in the movie hehe. You guys can pretend the arms holding the phone is Miss Funce-ler.

-a thneed, a seed, and a (grickle grass) weed on the floor. The thneed is just the first of many that will soon create a giant pile. The seed lies forgotten in the corner. The weed is foreshadowing the future.

-hinting that Lorax and Once-ler were actually good friends, like they were in the Lorax musical stageplay. 🥺 I kept this part of the script in my mind for this piece:

This was aftermath Once-ler talking to the Lorax, reminiscing on their good times...and also being stupid and inconsiderate because the Lorax was in fact there all along as his friend, trying to warn him of what was going to happen. 😔

So in my zine piece we're witnessing a peaceful time before all the real biggering really starts. I like to think that in this scene, the Lorax had been sitting on the Once-ler's lap, holding his gloves for him and having a nice chat together with maybe some harmless bickering, but then the Once-ler gets a phone call so he cuts their convo short and rolls his chair over to the window to answer it. Putting business over friendship as usual, of course. Inspo for the lap sitting comes from this fanart by Emi that I love: [link]

What else...the parts that I'm proud of the most are the stool (I spent 2 days just drawing this stool), the curtains, the fact that I was able to include every truffula colour, and the Once-ler's pose. I was close to giving up on that pose because I had no idea how to draw it but I'm glad that I tried again. I wanted to show him at ease during a stage in his life that we never got to see much: the happier and more innocent days of his biggering when he only had a small shop. 😊

That's all, I think! Thanks for reading if you did! Once again it was an honour to be part of this zine!!

[hana-no-seiiki]

I saw that you need ideas, so how about a yandere from the Neons? I mean, I would like to see more content from them since they represent the elements in Honkai star rail, by the way, sorry if you don't understand, my English is bad... I leave you a little drawing of a masculine makima (it has nothing to do with it, but as a gift ) xd Also, I don't know if I'm the only one, but Nanook makes me handsome >///<

(Sorry, I had already finished it but the work was stained hahaha and I did it again)

Yus the Aeons are so cool looking!! You really feel like they’re actual gods of the universe, especially since you don’t see them first hand (at least for now). Also Masculine Makima reminds me of Karma Akabane lol. I’ll draw it in my style, and add it here as an extra for you ♥️

Hb we mash those two topics up together actually?

warnings: mild yandere themes. mild spoilers for csm. major canon divergence. reader takes the shape of a masc/amab character but it isnt their original form.

status: unedited. updated art.

YANDERE! AEONS + VARIOUS! HSR x AEON OF FEAR/CONTROL! READER

You have no memory of your conception, only that you started existing for what felt like an eternity.

You represented fear and despair, but unlike IX whose mere presence drove humanity into insanity, or the rest of your fellow aeon’s godlike status amongst the world,

you walked around as a normal, ordinary human being.

As normal as an Aeon can get anyways.

In your current lifetime, you took the shape of Himeko’s “brother”, planting fake memories into her mind and being the one that urged her to travel the stars. While she was the navigator, you took the role of conductor before creating Pompom to supplant you.

Welt always knew you weren’t just a regular person. Your eyes always felt distant, so far off that not even a century’s worth of trail blazing would allow him to come close. As such he mostly kept cordial relations with you.

The youngsters of the bunch on the other hand, never seemed to realize the sheer magnanimity of the danger you held and always hung around you.

Particularly that Caelus. The newest addition to the crew. The stellaron within him always pulsed in some sort of giddiness and excitement whenever you were around. The boy couldn’t help but be a nervous wreck when he was around you. Stuttering and stumbling was a common occurrence whenever you so decide as to just breathe at his direction.

You knew what those Stellarons are, their nature, their purpose, the way they were created. In fact if you wanted to, you could have taken the Astral Express straight to the source of it all, your partner: Nanook.

However that would have ruined the fun of it all. So you chose to let them have their little adventures before the final confrontation.

Also because you signed a contract to not meddle with Nanook’s business in exchange for your freedom. But that was another story to tell.

“Why . . . why do you continue this farce? This utterly worthless play?”

IX’s voice rang within your ears and no one else’s. You were the only being it ever gave the time of day to. You imagine it to be the reason why insanity slowly built itself within the recesses of your head.

“You may see the entire universe as worthless . . . but I,” You breath hitched. You looked around your room. Time was frozen. Everything turned grey. You weren’t afraid of the others in the express hearing you, just that the following words you were about to spout out felt like bile on your mouth. “I suppose I’m still a bit like them in a way. I wish to see the world without its evils.”

“And destroying them. That is my first step.” You summon an orb of golden light. Stellarons. The creation of the very thing that made you loath all evil. Including yourself. You will eradicate these and then Nanook yourself. One day.

“Is that why you send those hunters out?”

“Perhaps.” The orb within your hands get covered in chains, quickly getting crushed within the metal like substance as it soon disappeared.

“Do as you wish. Just do not bother me like that imbecile.”

“I promise. I will be much worse than Yaoshi.”

IX remained silent for several seconds, no doubt regretting its decision of associating with you before adding, “. . . And do not die.”

“That one I cannot guarantee.”

Your room’s color returns, time continues. Signaling the end of two Aeons’ encounter.

Nanook, the Aeon that threatened to eradicate all that you love. All so they could have your soul once more. Within your gilded cage. Within your original body that lied dormant.

The Destruction will no longer be a path. That is a guarantee you write upon the stars when your Trail Blazing lifetime eventually comes to a close.

The stage is set, your actors ready.

All you needed was the cue.

Your gloved hand arose, pointing towards the express’s windows in the shape of a gun.

“Bang.”

[gonetoforks]

Introducing; Yuichi Usagi-Cuddles!

There’s a slight typo in his basic character bio, (first, grey image) other than “yuich,” his family in America lives in the part of the hidden city under Jersey. He lives in Jersey. He’s a Jersian. So in terms of leosagi, it’s gonna be an enemies-to-lovers comedy-of-errors muahahahaha!!

More (a LOT more) info about him as his own guy under the cutoff :D ⬇️

Basically; He’s a silly guy! I feel like his kinda buffoonish, embarrassing personality in canon is simultaneously PERFECT for Rise’s writing style & grievously underrated in fanon depictions. So he’s this clownish type of character, haha.

Okay, time to go hyperfixation mode.

Adhd & his stubborn attitude;

He has ADHD! Executive function issues makes it hard for him to start tasks & manage himself, so he relies on his teams (the Mad Dogs when he’s training & the Rise equivalent to his canon friend group on his own time) to not only instruct him, but also hold him accountable & keep him on task. He’s body-doubling without even realizing it.

Although, he resents the things he does to accommodate his disability. He doesn’t notice that doing the things he does genuinely helps or why so he thinks he’s using them as a crutch because of incompetence. Every time he gets stubborn and ignores the things he needs to do, he crashes and burns. When he was new in town with no teacher & no friends who liked martial arts, he became a huge sad sack until the kraang invasion.

His character arc is about being able to rely on other people & accommodations. That relying on a bit more help than other people doesn’t make you incompetent, choosing to seek out the support you need so you can do your best is the true mature thing to do. I was inspired by canon Yuichi’s struggles with paying attention and Rise’s themes of cooperation. (& also my own experience with adhd and learning with executive function issues & junk)

Relationships w/ the turtles;

The Mad Dogs agree to let him like, intern with them? So he can see what it’s like to be a vigilante, they offer him advice and they occasionally go on low to mid-tier missions with his help. They take him on cause they think more heroes and allies out there, the less work they have to do haha. Also, one of the writers mentioned a season 3 would have them adjusting to being ~official heroes,~ I think this would be them trying to be “real.”

He’s closest friends with Mikey out of the whole group! (Adhd solidarity) Then it goes Donnie -> Raph -> and finally Leo (for now muahaha)

I tried to give Leosagi an interesting dynamic with constructing his character like this; They have similar insecurities from drawing self-worth from technical capabilities that they can develop past together, but Leo is clever and calculating about it vs Yuichi being rash and impulsive. So like smart x stupid but they’re the same actually.

His Family in Jersey;

He speaks english fluently because he’s visited his American family frequently his whole life, they’re very close. He has an accent though since he mainly speaks Japanese.

I haven’t fleshed out this concept enough, but I think members of his jersey/Cuddles half of the family would be spoofs of characters from the original yojimbo comics, implied to be reincarnations? Except Miyamoto ofc. (i’ll explain later..)

Reusing the ninja orphans plotline from the original show, his family utilizes their cute appearances to run an orphanage too. They wonder why this Chizu lady is constantly showing up with unhoused children, but they’re just grateful they’re safe now.

Everyone in his family HATES Mrs. Cuddles, they all think she’s in prison and are happy about it. She might’ve given him that scratch on his face.

Additional;

He is gay.

Thank you for your time.

[vivi-blue]

IT IS FINALLY DONE!

God, this took me way too long...xD

After days of work I finally finished the challenge that I set for myself: Sending out props to a lot of artist here on tumblr that I really enjoy! (Actually there are way waaay more people, but I really had to set myself a limit, I'm sorry fellas ;w; I still love you!)

These people inspire me every day with their creative concepts, stories, humor and passion for art and give me the drive to continue drawing myself. With this little collection I wanted to say "thank you" for all that you do and create. You rock, guys!

(I really hope I didn't mess up any of the tags and I apologize if I might fu**ed up your designs/characters ;3; I know I'm not the best in proportions and all, but I really tried. <w<´´ Also I really hope Tumblr compresses the text by itself, so that you don't get smacked by this wall of text. I'm still a rookie on tumblr, so I don't know what to do ;w;)

Okay, heeere we go! THE TAGS!

@tv-tower / @uuberwachen - with PB aka Swap Pizzahead (I really love the idea of the au and adore the character designs. PB sure is one of my favorites -w- He is literally the most reasonable of them all XD)

@technically-a-kiwi - with Cosmic Peppino ( The design of Cosmic Peppino is simply beautiful and the idea that this chef has strong star powers and needs to take care of Cosmic Noises shenanigans is super funny to me XD )

@sirtotallynotatimetraveler - with Mel Sproutbloom / Sagebloom (I'm sorry, I wasn't sure which name is canon ;w;) ( I loooove Mel! He is such a gentle, colorful guy and looking at him makes me all happy <3 )

@alextydaisuda123 - with their version of Vigilante ( I can't repeat enough how much I adore their artstyle. I love Vigi's design the most. I don't know it's just...THAT'S Vigi for me, you know? Simply fitting, cool, but also stylish -w- )

@alice-the-demon - with Vittoria ( I was first thinking of drawing Archangel Peppino, since this guy is the softness itself, buuuut I have to admit that I love the lively and passionate personality of Vittoria. She is great -w- )

@misdreavusplush - with Eyelashes ( I can't help it. I saw that character and was in awe. How adorable can you be?? I was barely able to draw her eyes as pretty as they are xD <3 )

@creature-of-pizza - with Pepp ( Seriously, the idea to see a "Fake Peppino" with more cat dna is such a win for me. He is dynamic, sassy, derpy and so damn cool! >w< Also love how colorful their pictures are.)

@eskariolis-con-salsa - with Gnocchi (I was thinking about drawing their version of Fake Peppino first, but...*looks at picture* ...let's be honest, you can't get pass that little guy. ;w; He purifies my soul. Have some soap, little guy.)

@oddpizza - with Caramel Jam aka CJ (Such a creative and powerful character! I've seen so many artworks of them and I adore them. You need more joyful people like this ^^)

@pizza-tower-secrets - with Lycheecheechee ( A small, adorable bundle full of surprises and of course secrets! I love their drive and colorful design. Simply a delight! :3 )

@rhaytronik - with Red ( A dynamic and enjoyable character with their love for adventures! Not only a great character but also the Pizzasona of my best friend. Thanks to them I was brave enough to start a tumblr account myself. So thank you for being there for me <3 )

@cutechan555 - with Mage Gustavo (To be honest, I had a very hard time to pick a character here, since their account is full of stories and ideas. I chose mage Gustavo, since I love his design and story. I'm currently into "Delicious in Dungeon" and to imagine that he goes dungeon crawling with his bros to safe Peppino is such a cool idea XD)

@bigbeastcyruspt - with Trion (I have to be honest, at first I was very startled of Trion, since his design is very mighty and scary. I mean, it's his chase form after all. But the more I learned about him, the more I grew to like him. Very damn cool design! Also couldn't help to add dah baby ;w;)

@lunar-dal - with Pizza Cruise Peppino (Another au I simply adore! The design of the characters is colorful and bright, and to imagine Peppino as a singing gondolier brings me great joy. Also I'm a big fan of otter Brick ;w; )

@smalltimidbean - with Pea Pod, Sugar Snap Pea and Snow Pea (Believe me, I never before had such a hard time to pick ONE of so many wonderful Peppi clones! THAT was torture XD But in the end I guess I picked my favorite. Such a tired, but very cute one. Not to forget about the little ones <3 To draw a PT character with 4 fingers and 2 thumbs on one hand was quite a challenge lol )

@tinderboxofsillyideas - with Coffee Peppino (Probably one of the most adorable au versions of Peppino. Seriously, if I had the chance to get my coffee in his café, I totally would! Give that guy all the tips! <3 First thought of drawing their wizard Peppino version, but the adorable barista won lol)

@xbeih - with Metal Peppino (One of the first au's I started following. Seriously, how cool can one person be?? I mean, the whole au is amazing and I enjoy every person in it. But damn...Peppino takes the cake. ówo He is so badass, you can't imagine <w< Also I'm very sorry, it was my first time drawing a guitar and aaaaaaa )

.....*looks left and right* ...ok, we did it. Wow!

God, I'm exhausted now...XD

Well, thank you very much for reading and sorry for the wall of text ówq I can only recommend you to check these people out. They are all very talented and should be appreciated!

Have a pleasant morning / day / evening / night everyone. (Depending your timezone lul .w. )

See ya next time! Vivi out!~

[sepublic]

The Owl House Pilot Leak!!!

            Oh my titan.

            The Owl House’s original pilot episode (basically a bunch of voiced-over storyboards) just got leaked and OMT. Watching it felt like experiencing the original magic of the show all over again… Reminding me what it was like to fall in love the first time!!! The hype and rush, the excitement to type down my thoughts after a new episode, analyzing and gushing over both big and small moments, the details!!! The pilot has reiterated all over to me again why I love these characters, from Luz's powerful earnestness, to Eda's chaotic demeanor! It’s like having the whole show open ahead of me, the possibilities endless when knowing this is just the beginning and we could go anywhere from here!

            What’s interesting is that Luz’s conflict with Camila doesn’t really exist here; In fact Camila isn’t present or mentioned at all! What brings Luz to the isles is Amity, who’s been learning in the human world, under the guise of being a human by disguising her ears! It’s alluded to that Odalia and Alador made her do it, though we don’t know why…

            But WOW that must’ve been so meta, doing S3 with Amity stuck in the human world with Luz, hiding her ears! It must’ve been a fun way to bring back the older concepts in new form! And indeed, we see a couple of stuff we’ve already gotten glimpses of, such as the storyboards of Luz offering her friendship art to Amity! I love that we get to see the actual scenario of how Amity accidentally defended Luz in the first place, since we heard that but didn’t get to see how it turned out.

            It’s interesting that Lumity is basically the inciting incident of the story, though I can see why the final version opted instead to emphasize Luz’s conflict with her mother. Especially with how she chooses to stay in the isles in the final draft, which leads to guilt over lying to her mom, having her ‘coming out’ moment that eventually occurs in Yesterday’s Lie, etc. So more agency when it comes to Luz losing her access to the human world. Plus in the pilot, there isn't the same emphasis on Luz trying to live out her dreams of being a witch, and her obsession with stories that ties back to Manny and forms the basis for a lot of other themes and arcs.

            That said, I also appreciate what this alternate take offers, and how Lumity helps tie everything together, it really is the queerness that is such a foundational part of the ‘weirdness’ theme that the show is about, and it’s intertwined with the pilot! God Luz being heartbroken when Amity dismisses the drawing… And then crying when Eda compliments it without realizing who it’s about! Or maybe she did, she could’ve recognized Luz there and figured out a way to stealthily make Luz feel better…!

            I love Luz routinely lock-picking her locker because she presumably forgot the combination! And it’s interesting that we have a setup of there being multiple dimensions that the Boiling Isles has access to, and not just the human world and Demon Realm. That plays a role in the climax, more on that later. Given we have what is basically an airport for different dimensions, I wonder if we would’ve seen Luz find her way back home much earlier on, under much less intense circumstances, in a S1A episode?

            The ‘Emperor’ is also alluded to in the pilot, which we didn’t get actual mention of until the fifth episode in the final show. He apparently dislikes humans and wants Luz brought over to him, is this still operating off of the ‘Pupa’ version of the character who claimed to speak on behalf of the true ruler, trapped in their metamorphosis by him? So maybe he wasn’t always human, or maybe this is Belos’ hypocritical way of ‘protecting’ humans by keeping them away and in blissful ignorance of the demon realm.

            We also establish Hexside much earlier! IIRC Hexside was always part of the show, but executives pushed for it to have more emphasis, which the crew continued to follow through on in S2 onwards because that had already been set up. Lilith is the principal, and I recognize the storyboards of her, including her bat transformation! We get a Tinella Nosa cameo, we see Amity, and there’s also a brief cameo of Willow too! Nice way to set her up before her proper debut.

            The ‘barrier’ containing King’s crown turns out to just be a regular human locker, which makes me wonder if the writers updated the final draft to make it a force field that only allows humans through, because of the whole Belos twist. Which makes me wonder if in this draft, Belos is Pupa, who never was human, or maybe they realized the opportunity to insert foreshadowing into a big twist regarding the main villain. Makes me wonder if the house we see Amity enter in the pilot, which is on sale, would've had any significance like in the final show. Love how Tinella Nosa is a student at Hexside, and also Dana having to occasionally insert lines for Wendie Malick and others was great.

            Lilith is a lot more openly adversarial, which is different compared to how her actual debut provides a softer side to her; I imagine this would’ve been apparent in a later episode of the ‘Pilot AU’, and her transformation has me curious; Was she originally the one with the curse, but then the writers changed it to Eda? Or did they both have a curse? Eda also has an owl form she can summon and control at Will, maybe all Clawthornes have a beast mode that’s less of a curse and more of a talent. Lilith ends up trapped in another dimension, which makes me wonder if she’d have a temporary replacement –possibly Pilot Bump- or if she’d return offscreen. We see the portal key get destroyed under much more casual circumstances, though it’s less as big of a deal for this and the established ‘dimension port’ we saw before.

            (Also, Amity recognizing Luz in the hallway… Everything to me!!!)

            Warden Wrath doesn’t exist and neither does the Conformatorium, it’s Lilith and Hexside. With her as principal and Amity as student, I wonder if we would’ve gotten more of their relationship in the pilot AU, if Covention was a way of carrying over that former connection since Amity would be a teacher’s pet in either version of the story. And speaking of ties to Covention, it’s interesting is that Eda’s chest gem seems to be linked to the Emperor’s Coven, as ‘Pilot Kikimora’ uses it to control her. Curiously, we have a scene at the end mirroring what we got with Lilith in the final draft of the show!

            I feel it implies that Eda DID join the Emperor’s Coven with Lilith, if only for a brief moment, but then defected; But the chest gem is basically the pilot version of the Emperor’s sigil, except with the explicit function of being a shock collar. I find it interesting that Eda still has the mirror to contact the EC with, instead of just getting rid of the thing. Is she a rogue agent who hasn’t totally cut ties, because she can’t? Won’t?

And the fact that Pilot Kikimora can just shock Eda at will makes me wonder if the Emperor is low-key just letting Eda roam around, which makes me wonder if he’s aware of the familial connection, is using Eda to find Luz, already knows about her doing that because of the time loop, etc. We’d of course have gotten an episode where Luz finds out about Eda’s connection and helps her deal with the gem… I realize now that Luz learning Eda also wanted to join the EC with Lilith is a carryover of this idea.

I can see the ups and downs between both versions; The final draft sets up Luz’s conflict with Camila and the reality camp, which is foundational to her character arc throughout the whole show. Her pain over being ‘sent away’ is just so vital that I appreciate its inclusion in the first episode. But I also like the inclusion of Lumity and the earnest desire to be friends with someone who showed her, unwittingly, any kindness at all! We get explicit bullying from Luz’s peers in the pilot, but in the final draft we also get her thoughtlessness that plays a big part in her S1 arc. And Luz’s arrival in the isles is more intertwined with Eda and King in the final version, which also feels right; The show is about these three in particular!

All in all, this was wonderful to watch! The magic was experienced all over again, not just in watching an episode, but also commentating on one that was just ‘released’ as well? I thought the last time I’d do anything like this was with the series finale Watching and Dreaming… But as Luz said, it really comes full circle with watching the first episode all over again! So maybe we have other stuff to still look forward to after all… At the very least, we have an eternal anticipation with an unexplored universe ahead of us, that will never reach completion; So it's like our ever-lasting final gift from TOH, and a good last one. So until next time: BBBBBYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[sanctus-ingenium]

Another one of these since i haven't done it in a while! Sketch -> finished illustration

Thoughts & process below the cut :>

Out of Bounds: i deleted the sketch of this off my ipad because i didn't like it, and for months it only existed as a screenshot on discord. finally in january of this year i was like Wait Actually and decided to keep working on it. I didn't achieve the look I was going for (kind of foggy and vague. It came out too sharp and high contrast) but it was fun to throw the kitchen sink at it for an afternoon and then call it done finally. I don't remember which horse this was originally supposed to be, I think Macha?

I reused the pose, you'll find the same one in my Pascal sketchbook from the section on gait studies. That's the cool thing about doing 30 sketches at once, you can finish them up any time you like for a different drawing

The Fool ft Islin: the original concept for this is from [takes a moment to decipher the american date system on discord] January 2022

It wasn't dynamic enough, but I've had this on the backburner for sooo long. I think I completed like 4 cards in between this sketch and the final version lol. But, for a bit of background, this is from my series of major arcana based in Inver, and in particular the events of the 1860s-era book series, Moth Viper Foal (a demo of the first book, Said The Black Horse, is available for free/pwyw in my shop). This scene is a companion to Said The Black Horse, depicting the aftermath of the traumatic fight that caused Islin to storm off. He had been working at the mill as a semiprofessional back alley surgeon when he received an offer to join the church and work as a trained surgeon in their hospital. But when he brought the good news back to his friends it was met with utter rejection, driving him to basically run away to join the church. while gay and trans. thus the card.

he didn't actually bring a bag with him when he ran out but for the sake of the card i drew him with one

Gryfon and Pantera: This is how 99% of holy beast drawings start out, even the super stylised ones. I struggle a lot to draw them in procreate so they start in sai and then i transfer them over. The story of this is already explained in the caption of the original post so I'll just talk about the process which was... honestly torturous. I actually don't like too much textures and effects on things (wild, I know) and this one and Out of Bounds are ones where I kind of preferred it pre-texturising.

The text on the side is the official in-universe report of the event, detailing the casualties, the valiant actions of Gryfon's knight before he died and so on. There's also spoilers in there :>

My main struggle with this art style is how it always ends up slightly TOO sharp and crisp in a way the just a blur filter never can correct. There's not a lot of immersion to break, to be fair, but I think this still does it a little. I need to get more comfortable doing the lines with larger and softer brushes, and allowing imperfections.

[niftukkun]

honk (“honk!”) if you’re hungry for chaos! come on, “honk! honk!” like a horrible goose!

for the second week of @/shepscapades 's hermitcraft character design event, i offer grian as a chaotic goose!

so originally my concept was actually grian as the lamb from cult of the lamb, but then memories of the untitled goose game descended upon me like visions from an angry god, so i couldnt not do grian as The Goose. it fits, really, since the whole point of the goose game is to spread unmitigated chaos, and grian thrives on chaos and unpredictability

for notes on character design,, i actually didnt know what to do at first? like, ok, grian as the goose, but do i just draw a goose? make grian into a goose hybrid and thatse it? i actually really debated letting him keep his red jumper cause while its a big indicator of Grian its also,, really out of place for goose if that makes sense. my next pass at designs was arguably worse since it was more or less just a naked harpy with no resemblance to grian OR the goose game.

i actually ended up taking inspiration from one of my ocs (lycomedes my beloved boy i will one day post you) and gave grian this. mask-not-mask? if you look at the art there isnt actually a line separating mask from skin so that implies its less a mask and more His Face and that fit more than actually giving him a beak or just a plain human esque face so i kept it and it looks great! i also gave him arms instead of a more harpy esque No Hands look because Despite My Best Efforts it did not look good :(

to keep him looking like grian i gave him the hair i started doing specifically for grian and also little red highlights here and there (notable places include the eyes because Slay and the nails because Slay (im only half joking here)) but other than that i kind of did nothing else and am shocked at how much silhouette actually matters?? like it registers to me as grian despite yknow looking nothing like his actual minecraft skin so. win!! hell yeah!!!

little details include the bell i spent way too much time on, the sign that im far too proud of (its so good!!) and of course, the crowning piece, the Untitled Grian Game logo (and grian face) (its so funny to me i keep laughing whenever i look into those soulless minecraft eyes) (its so good!!!!!)

[brittle-doughie]

OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM

hiiii Brittle, its me, Blue Bird Anon! I come bearing gifts of cookie sprites! Crowned Cupcake Cookie (based on Runebrave's lovely design) and her brother of my own creation, Royal Icing Cookie. I had a lot of fun designing and drawing them so I hope you and everyone enjoy as well! (pssst also my art blog is scarabeeart ;3)

I saw an anon guess that Royal Icing was the pure opposite of his sister, and while that wasn't my original concept for him, I thought the contrast between the two would be a very funny idea hjggffg him being a totally normal, genuinely good guy while his sister is. like that.

But the idea I had for him was a classic prince charming, but with the levels cranked to 11. Brave, chivalrous, humble, generous, rides a white horse, he's got it all! All he wants is to sweep Y/N Cookie off their feet like in a romantic fairy tale and ride into the sunset for their perfect happily ever after together <3 May let the prince charming thing go to his head as he has a secret hero complex and will often put Y/N Cookie into danger purely just so he can heroically swoop in and rescue them. And while his sister is more physical with her use of force to chase away those who get too close to Y/N Cookie, Royal Icing is more manipulative and unhanded. Not above willing to plant fake evidence on other suitors and use it as a way to turn Y/N against them and only trust him. "These Cookies are merely trying to marry you only to claim the throne, they want to usurp you, your adviser is scheming and plotting against you" and all the other fairy tale tropes. Will never fess up to sneaking around because his perfect prince image is incredibly important to him. You trust him, right? He's your fiance! Your prince charming, your knight in shining armor. Of course he wouldn't lie to you <3

(hehe sorry for writing so much! I've been thinking about this for too long hjgfhjgf)

First of all.

That’s some damn incredible work you made here. You are getting a follow from me!

Crowned Cupcake now actually looks like canon compared to my more simple style! She’s even pulling a Cherry Blossom with that triangle mouth there!

Royal Icing too! He looks just as amazing, definitely the charismatic type that no cookie would doubt has a dark side to him! Both of them are just wonderfully done and I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do this!

I did think about Icing being exactly like his sister rather than being a kind soul, with him taking the more psychological approach rather then the brute forcing Crowned would do. He’s willing to play any card in his hand to turn it in his favor, even if it meant falsely accusing other cookies if it meant getting them of the picture.

You would trust him more at first. After all, he hadn’t done anything wrong to warrant any kind of suspicion on him! These liars can’t prove anything against your Prince, so you’ll take his side more often then not.

Overall, this is spectacular and I greatly appreciate the work that was done here!

[yumeka-sxf]

My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3

Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.

Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters

There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).

So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅

Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)

Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).

My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂

And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).

This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!

Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!

Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."

He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.

Concept art

Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.

As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.

An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.

Twiyor tidbits

Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂

Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.

Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️

Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.

This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.

Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.

Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)

Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.

Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.

English version omissions

There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.

At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.

And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).

Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.

---

And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!

<- Return to Part 2

[shirecorn]

so I binged all of your stuff I could find about your Skyscraper gods lore, and I'm curious - how, if at all, do creatures like changelings, the sirens/the other realm in general, and Discord fit into your AU?

Discord is actually from another universe! He is not a giant god thing, but he came to equestria and decided he liked it here and he could really mess this place up. After being imprisoned in stone for a thousand years and witnessing the civilization from a town square (I forget where he was put tbh) he became both super angry and somewhat paradoxically attached to this reality. When he was unstoned he got super vengeful. But then meeting fluttershy and befriending her helped him become even more attached to this place. It's not his home, though, and he only comes around to help save it because his friends are here.

Also he does not have a set appearance and shifts his shape with every step and gesture. Its a bit dizzying to watch, like the early examples of neural network stuff from 2015. Like you're looking at a tiger through an "AI" (I HATE that we call this BS ai, we should go back to saying neural net and machine learning, or better yet Machine Bias Training) anyway looking at a tiger but through a filter of an AI that has been trained to see horses everywhere. And by the time the filter has switched to a dataset of tigers, his actual form has turned into a snake.

This is my vision and I have done like. 10 drawings in order to capture it but the video editing to get there is beyond my current skillset so I keep procrastinating on starting

---

Changelings are insect-related creatures and are as far from mammals as you can get. I need to do a couple more drawings before I'm satisfied because I came up with a new concept after the first art, and just need to draw it.

---

is the other realm equestria girls? I dont watch EQ so I dont know how to fit it. I know there are sirens in a flashback in the pony show, in uhh Season 7 episode 25 or 26

[signed-sapphire]

Okayyyy rewatched Wish

Here are my notes

Valentino wasn’t as annoying as people say. Sure, he did nothing for the plot and could’ve been removed entirely, but he didn’t make near as many butt jokes as people say he did

The lead-ins for all the songs were great. Certain media (Hazbin, for example) just jump into the songs

Magnifico??? Didn’t touch the pages??? So why would he be corrupted? Why does Amaya know of obsidian oil? Don’t you just skim the pages to release the evil?

Dahlia was amazing

“At the very least break the hold it has on him” Amaya? Didn’t you found this kingdom with thin? Wouldn’t you know?

Also Amaya was very sidelined. Where’s her backstory?

Asha’s magic wand mishaps were… corny at best

Why did they make Dario high all the time? He’s not stupid. I feel like they made him try to be like Fred from Big Hero 6 but failed

“Nine zillyboo, twenty alphabet!” Val, buddy. No.

DAHLIA. MATE. TRUE LOVE’S KISS CAN BRUNG HIM BACK I swear, it feels like the directors were switched

The spider-carriage thing. I feel like that could’ve been a Disney reference instead

Gabo was still my favorite out of the teens. Bazeema was sweet too

Also. Halzeema moments were actually in canon.

Sabino did not act 100 at all.

Crushing wishes did nothing to people except make them sad for .2 seconds

Asha’s drawing, her magic wand, none of that was important to the actual plot

I feel like the horses could’ve been Disney references too

Why did the roof open? That was never explained

Mag’s hair needed to be messier. Evil Magnifico? Crazy hair

How did he hear them from all the way down there

Mag’s really out there beating up a minor

The curse rope green things were not scary at all

Was Simon just in the forest the entire time?

The Magnifico getting sucked inside his staff… I feel that could’ve been a play to Dr. Facilier somehow

The stars raining down were beautiful

Was Star’s nose tap a reference to something?

The people’s talking… idk how I felt about that

WE 👏 SHOULD’VE 👏 SEEN 👏 SAKINA’S 👏 WISH

Another half-assed apology. First Namaari, now you. At least Simon’s was an actual apology. Wait. More of it goes on.

Ok his apology isn’t too bad

How did the staff get all the way down there?

Changed my opinion, Amaya deserved to tell Mag off

Did Mag’s curse break once he was in the mirror? Why did he act sad all of a sudden?

I’ve heard Asha’s movements weren’t finalized until later, but her movements seem pretty fluent

Clumsy and energetic, sure, but besides from the mouth drooping part, she wasn’t that quirky

Which. Could be a bad thing. She didn’t really have much of a personality

I like the Peter Pan building a flying machine idea

Zootopia ref

DARIO. SHUT UP

Why does everyone suddenly understand Star

But off-topic they were so cute

“It” I guess

Why refer to Star as an it

“They” was too woke for the Disney execs? Why, you had a one-second offhand comment about a water cousin who’s nonbinary!

That Cinderella-reference thing… wasn’t slow enough to be a dress transformation. So I’m fine with her not having a different dress. I mean obviously I would’ve loved it but idk

SHOW DON’T TELL, DISNEY

STOP TELLING

“I understand you well enough” I DON’T! HOW ARE THEY TELLING YOU

Some of Valentino’s jokes were funny. Sue me

I liked the Tinkerbell and Mikey Mouse reference at the end

The storybook was a nice callback

The credits should’ve been moving. Also CHOOSE BAYMAX TO REPRESENT BIG HERO 6. WHY HAVE VILLAINS LIKE MALEFICENT THERE

Overall. Not as bad as people are making it out to be. But definitely not worthy to be Disney’s 100

I’d say… 7/10. The backgrounds did look watercolor, but the shading seemed off in places. Especially Sakina. There was major improvement to be done, but with the hell the execs were giving (and the proven creativity of the concept art) I feel this movie is getting too much hate. Critiques and criticism are fine. But don’t blame the writers for getting rid of Starboy. Yes, it could’ve been better. But it’s Disney. And the creators tried their best to pour their love into a movie that they didn’t have a full say in.

[animalsalvationassociation]

The Villains of the A.S.A.

[ CW: Blood ]

[ DO NOT REPOST, ALL ART & CONCEPTS WERE MADE BY ME ]

Illustration Time: 7hrs 8min

AS PROMISED!!! I KNOW I’M AMAZING YOU’RE WELCOME!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE 120+ FOLLOWERS I MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY THIS TIME!!! 😭💙

Notes:

There are references to certain characters that I haven’t properly introduced yet (*ahem* their “lackeys”) but I want to finish all of the asks I’ve gotten from you guys before I get back into character refs. The refs take a very long time to put together, mostly because of the info sections. So please have patience with me.

I definitely bit off more than I could chew with this one because all of these are men . . . I cannae draw mans. Black Tack took at least three different pieces of paper before I deemed him drawable. I love and hate him.

I refuse to render . . . but I might bully myself into doing it later . . . Now I’m having second thoughts hissssssss no nothings perfect ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I watched sm YT today . . .

Pocket is my fav 💙

( He’s based on this cat I found on the interwebs . . . )

100 Followers Goal: 1 & 2

Referenced Post (When I feature these villains for the first time)

[ This is a Octonauts AU, in no way is this canon to the OG storyline. ]

[myapothecarydiary]

Thoughts from reading The Apothecary Diaries Manga Ch. 1

Okay, I just first have to say I adore these little Maomao illustrations at the beginning of each volume. The art style is so cute!

And we get straight to it: the comparison of the pleasure district to the rear/inner palace. The similarities go to show how Maomao is in a position to successfully navigate and understand the rear palace due to her upbringing in the pleasure district. Her background gives her a unique, and in this case, advantageous perspective.

This introduction discussing eunuchs and the emperor's family is very hello! regarding Jinshi's real identity. I think it also introduces Apothecary's conversation on gender, specifically Maomao's perspective regarding it. She considers eunuchs to no longer be true men and to exist beyond the gender binary. She values frogs as a defining characteristic, if you will.

This here introduces Maomao's relationship with her own appearance and beauty. We later learn she draws her freckles on and so is trying to subdue her natural beauty, but she is also pragmatic about her appearance. She accepts what she looks like and utilizes her unassuming qualities, even accentuating them, but though she adds she's "not interested or anything" in becoming a concubine, I think there is some supressed disappointment in her looks. She can't fathom that someone like the Emperor would find her attractive. She is not just pragmatic but resigned.

There's a greater conversation to be had about how Maomao values beauty and recognizes how beauty gives someone value (within the environments of the rear palace and the pleasure district as well as within her own mind?). I'm going to put a pin in it for now, but I have thoughts on how Maomao views Jinshi's beauty (a waste on a man, disastrously powerful on a woman, extra wasteful on a man sans frog?) + the benefit of certain assets (big boobs XD)

Hello, future plot line and Jinshi's desire to increase literacy and education!

I find this important to note as it is how Maomao is characterized for the audience. "Forward-thinking" with "an insatiable thirst for knowledge and overwhelming curiosity" and "a budding sense of justice." It is interesting how her sense of justice goes against her insistence on the idea of "it is what it is" and that most matters are above her.

Feels like ominous foreshadowing for a later reveal + an indication of how the previous Emperor's shadow hangs over everything to some extent. (Side thought: there's no actual curse on the imperial family causing the current Emperor's heirs to die, but perhaps Jinshi would feel like there is one)

Introduction of Maomao's favorite concept/word–conjecture! She emphasizes how her dad drilled into her that she shouldn't go off of conjecture alone, yet she often engages in speculation to the point of it kind of being her "thing."

A fateful meeting. Jinshi notices Maomao but she doesn't see him (and is too busy thinking/working out a problem in her head–very on the nose for their relationship going forward).

I also like how this was drawn with the white outline around the both of them! I think it is more apparent around Jinshi, but it does envelop them both and put them together, which is interesting.

Maomao sees Jinshi for the first time. And going back to my prior pin on beauty! – Maomao's perception of Jinshi is tied to her thinking about the concept of him as a woman. There's almost a disappointment in how his beauty is not possessed by a woman.

This is very indicative of Maomao's actions. A large part of her character involves not only figuring things out and possessing/acquiring information, but obscuring things/holding things back (in regards to both what she figures out and how she presents herself). This also speaks to how Maomao even suppresses certain feelings and realizations in her own mind.

I feel like there is an instinct to write Maomao off as a cold loner type, and while part of this moment involves Maomao's relief at seeing the princess alive and healthy, I think (especially with how it is depicted) it shows a warmth for life and children. Maomao cares! You see this sweeter/softer (and protective) side of her in her interactions with Xiaolan as well.

Maomao is all about that social hierarchy and knowing her place. Beauty and status are perhaps lenses through which she sees the world (interesting that a certain character will land at the highest level of both of those XD)

My confession is that before I watched the anime and was just seeing people post about Jinshi as a sort of "silly little guy", I made assumptions about his intelligence and depth. I was very pleasantly surprised by the scene where he deduces Maomao left the note because she is the only one who can read. It even catches Maomao by surprise! Then again here, his ability to solve the sorts of little mysteries that will essentially become Maomao's main purpose goes to show their compatibility as a pair (that will work well together).

This moment and quote just hits me hard every time. Beauty and life, how they interact, and the value of both will continue to be explored. It also directly shows how Maomao's experience of the pleasure district informs her ability to understand and navigate the rear palace.

And that's all for chapter 1! Onto the next.

[hhhhleb]

Hi, I just saw your recent post with little!Jake and Marc, and I just wanted to say it's so heartwarming, the relationship Marc is feeling about Jake ! Like you said, the relationship he have with Jake looks so close to the one Marc had with Randall ( Roro ? ) and I find it so cute.

It’s a bit heartbreaking too, but I find so cute.

And just asking, does Little!Jake feel the same, is he too shy to respond to the ( I guess a bit clumsy ) affection from Steven and Marc, or just Jake doesn’t want it ?

And does Jake miss Randall ( Roro ) too ? Since I guess he maybe have the memories of Randall by Marc’s mind and memories ?

I’m just really curious about their relationship with little!Jake, especially with Marc, and their past relationship with their brother and maybe their parents.

( Hope you don’t mind my questions. And hope you get the questions, since my English isn’t really perfect, since it isn’t my first language. Take your time to answer if you want to, I don’t want to overwhelm you. )

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS!! I’m guilty ur honor, I couldn’t answer them for how long? Two weeks?😶🧎im rlly sorry..

Well, Marc&Jake’s relationship aren’t so simple I guess, in some way it is similar to the Marc&Roro’s but in other way it’s not.

1. Jake isn’t ready to open up to M&S. To people in general. He’s cautious, It is safe when he’s playing adult’s role, it’s like a mask, a shield from the real(adult) world, but when M&S figured out he’s a kid he feels too exposed to them. Too open, too easy to hurt. I feel like he doesn’t want this affection from them because he doesn’t really know how to be a loved child? So he doesn’t know how to respond to it. As I said here Jake never have met Wendy, he doesn’t consider her as his own mother. Thus, all his behaviour&attitude is based on Marc&Roro’s playtime as children. That’s why he’s so into this roleplay of a badass guy))

2. Jake actually misses Roro. If Steven had no idea about him, Jake considered Roro his own brother. It’s the only thing in Marc’s memories he accepts as his own. Marc(Jake) loved Roro so much that he(Jake) adopted this love for art from him(similar to Steven and his accent, I suppose). He also inherited Marc’s feelings of responsibility as an older brother from that time, so Jake’s not used to be the youngest. Therefore, it’s quite an experience for him to adept to this whole new dynamic with S&M. He pushes them away feeling like he shouldn’t can’t rely on them.

Absolutely love this idea of a bunk bad for M&R!! It fits so well! saw it in this concept art for MK. It’s amazing. Like, I think Roro was a very sensitive kid(he looks rueful when Marc calls him a baby for being wary of playing in the cave while it's raining), so he’s afraid of dark and not sleeping with parents SOOOoooo Marc took the bottom bed and have told him, that he would defend him from any monster who would be stupid enough to try to attack them! He also hung all Roro’s drawings there, because he’s very proud of him)

Ahhhh my heart aches for them. I spent half of my childhood on a bunk bad like that, my siblings and I plastered it all over with stickers, there were glasses of juice everywhere lmao, loads of thrilling books on shelves, we used to do a blanket castle on the bottom bed and read some stories with a flashlight

I feel like it’s the thing Marc&Roro could do.. I wish they had more screen time in the show..

(am I projecting? Yes.

Also, I think that’s where Steven’s love for reading is coming from)

ps even though Jake doesn’t want this affection, he needs it just like any other person, just like any other child. He has a hard way ahead of him. Comics about the table thing was one of the first steps:)

[haesunflower]

soulmates unfortunately series [the prologue]

⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆

genre: romance/fluff with adult themes pairings: reader x park gunwook, reader x kim taerae, reader x seok matthew, reader x shen ricky. word count: 3.2k warnings: drinking, character death, nsfw mention (no actual smut), underage puppy love, and other adult themes. rating is 16+.

ABOUT. here's the thing about soulmates, once you meet the one that is meant for you, you start to age. the biological clock starts to tick, and you are no longer a fresh faced 20 year old. years go by, and next thing you know it, you've grown old and wrinkly – right next to the love of your life. y/n hated this concept.

y/n has had many soulmates in her lifetime. chapter zero explores the soulmates that came before she stopped believing in the concept entirely.

⋆୨♡୧ series masterlist/about the series. ⋆୨♡୧

You used to believe in the concept of soulmates. 

It could be a beautiful thing, really. In theory, you build your entire future with this person, remaining young until you meet the one that is meant for you. In this world, your biological clock remains frozen – physical and mental aging included.

Life doesn’t start unless you have your other half along with you. Your soulmate. 

Growing up, you hear and experience multiple love stories around you. You are taught to look forward to this life changing moment, watching out for the tell-tale signs of your other half. Your chest tightens around them, pulling you closer, drawing you in. Others say it’s as if the universe is physically trying to draw you closer together. But you liken it more to a ‘gut feeling’; There’s no other way to describe it, you just know. 

That’s how you felt about Park Gunwook – the first boy you ever came to love. The first soulmate. 

PARK GUNWOOK. TWELVE YEARS OLD. YEAR 1920.

Gunwook lived in the same farm town as you, and everyone knew him. 

He was the favorite son in his family. He wasn’t the eldest – but he was reliable even from a very young age. He ran errands for the neighbors often and was kind to all the children and elderly. If anyone needed some help with carrying hay bale, starting a fire, or cleaning out the barn, Park Gunwook was the go-to, in which he happily carried out his duties with a large smile on his face. 

You first met on a sunny day when you had trouble with your farmwork chores. You were struggling to wrangle the pigs back to their pen, tripping over the mud, and eventually falling into a large puddle. 

He must have been watching over from a far, as the next thing you know an, arm is outstretched to you. “Need some help, Y/N?” 

You look up to see Gunwook, and you take his hand so he can hoist you up from the mud puddle.

“You know my name?” you ask innocently. Gunwook was fifteen at the time, and you, only twelve. 

“Silly girl, of course I know you.” he says as he fixes the bangs on your forehead, temporarily disheveled by the fall. At that moment, you felt it. The undeniable tug at your chest, drawing you to him. You had a feeling he was your soulmate, and your cheeks warmed at the thought.

You reckon he felt the same. For as the years went by, he stayed as a close friend to you. 

When you reached fifteen years old, marrying age, he started to see you more often. 

He would ask you to join him as he saddled up the horses by the stable, and you’d ask him to accompany you as you picked flowers by the meadow. You often talked about your dreams of seeing the world, leaving this small town and meeting new people. You dreamt of seeing all sorts of buildings, appreciating all kinds of art, trying new food, and experiencing new music. He always listened to you in awe, smiling at how passionate you become when talking about your dreams. He knows it’s your favorite thing to talk about.  

Gunwook on the other hand, spoke about inheriting the farm land from his father. He excitedly spoke about starting a little bed and breakfast inn where he could increase tourism in the area, allowing other folk to come experience the beauty of farm life. He once showed you the blueprint sketches he had of his proposed business venture, and with a gummy smile on his face, pointed to a house right by the meadow where your favorite flowers resided, “and here’s where we would live” he said. his cheeks were flushed red, nervous to see your reaction.

It was beautiful. He had promised to build it for you, confirming that he too, felt the same about you. That the both of you were meant to be together. 

“I know you’ve always wanted to get out of here. So I’ll save up for it, and we can both go on a large adventure someday” he reassures you. 

But you pictured the little farmhouse by the meadow where the two of you would live, running the bed and breakfast, and caring for the horses, pigs, and sheep. You suddenly didn’t mind having this quaint little life at all. 

“It’s perfect, Gunwook. I love it.” You reassured him too. 

Sadly, these were the last words you shared with him. The wedding never happened, the house was never built, and you were unable to experience being loved by Gunwook like you were meant to. 

Gunwook died the next morning, at the age of 18 years old. He was helping out the local lumberjack with a project in the forest, and fell victim to a horrible accident. The townspeople and your family spared you of the gory details, so you never got the full story of how he passed away. 

All you remember from that day was waking up and immediately feeling an emptiness in your heart. The tug at your chest was gone, a confirmation that he was dead. You cried. 

You wondered if the universe was giving you a sign, an out from the farm town life that you dreamed of leaving. And you couldn’t help but think: what a sick, twisted, way to communicate, universe.

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You tried to continue living life as you once knew it. But everything in this small town reminded you of Gunwook. You’d often visit the meadow where your forever house with him was meant to stand, journalling or speaking to the wind – hoping Gunwook would hear you. 

Your family let you grieve for two whole years, allowing the pain to fully wash over you so that you can learn to move on. Gunwook was your soulmate, everyone knew that. And at that time, the concept of having more than one soulmate was unheard of. You had already lost yours, and there was no way the universe would have another one for you. 

You weren’t exactly a widow, so you would have to live life as an unmarried woman – which was difficult in that day and age. This is why your father and mother brought up the prospect of arranged marriage, even if it’s just for the sake of living comfortably. You agreed. 

KIM TAERAE. SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. YEAR 1925.

You came to know Kim Taerae at seventeen years old, when your father was sorting out marriage candidates. He had visited a local psychic who had given a shortlist of all the eligible bachelors in the area who would be the perfect match for you – insisting that ‘your soulmate would be one of the names on the list’. 

You would have called her a quack if the list didn’t include a certain Kim Taerae, a young gentleman three years older, who had a voice of an angel. You officially met at a chaperoned luncheon, with both your parents and his. He was soft, kind hearted, and had a gentle nature to him. 

You met several times after that before your families settled the marriage agreements. You didn’t mind marrying Taerae, in fact, you were scared to admit that he might actually be your soulmate too after all. You felt it during your first few meetings without your parents, the familiar pull at your chest. Eventually soothed by his singing and soft hums he would whisper into your hair. 

“Do you think we could be soulmates, Y/N?” he asked you one evening, you were both sitting on the porch of your family home with the stars as your audience. While he strongly believed you were his soulmate, you had a hard time. You weren’t sure if the universe allowed such a thing. 

“I don’t know, Taerae. I wonder if the universe is kind enough to gift you as my soulmate” you truly meant your words. He knew about your trauma with losing Gunwook, and would often accompany you as you visited his grave. He’s been patient with you, and was content with spending the rest of his life loving you, even if you weren’t soulmates. You felt the same way. 

That year, Taerae turned 21 years old. He was a year older, no longer frozen at 20. Likewise, you turned 18 years old. He got his blood tested to ensure the aging wasn’t a placebo effect, that there was indeed biological change. 

Everyone celebrated Taerae’s aging, the confirmation that the both of you were truly soulmates. You couldn’t believe it at first, but considered it as the universe’s way of saying ‘sorry’ for the loss of your first one. 

Taerae was excited to build a future with you. He even bought a house for the two of you at the capital of the country, and you were both eager to experience city life as a married couple. But that day never came. He died from a tragic car accident, a drunk driver crashed into his vehicle when he was on his way to see you. 

You woke up that day feeling like you were stuck in a recurring nighmare. You were drenched in sweat, and let out the most gut-wrenching scream of grief. You despised how this was all too familiar to you, the loss of the comforting tug at your chest. Taerae was dead, and you wailed for him.  

The car company gave you a free vehicle as part of the grievance. As if a free car would cure the immense grief and anger you had been feeling. To make matters worse, the community mocked you with a new nickname: soulmate killer. Because the mere idea of being your soulmate was an automatic death sentence. 

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You hated the universe. You were angry at its seeming generosity, rather cruelty of losing two soulmates at only 18 years old. 

After Taerae died, your family felt anguish for you. They had immense sympathy, and let you do whatever you wanted to do. You spent another two years grieving Taerae. Though you mostly stayed at home, staring into empty space. You still visited the meadow, this time with a guitar in hand to strum familiar melodies as you thought about the two men you loved. You felt that it was only fair to Taerae that way – if you had grieved him the same way you grieved Gunwook. 

It took you years before you could even feel like yourself again. 

In 1930, you would have been 23 years old. But you still look, act, and feel like a 20 year old. As if the universe was mocking your unfortunate situation. As if aging was a reward and a privilege you receive after meeting the love of your life. As if the universe was blissfully unaware that you have been ripped away from the opportunity thanks to its cruelty. 

You revisited your journal entries from when you were fifteen, talking about your big dream of seeing the world. You felt cursed, and you were determined to make the most of the seemingly short life you would have. After all, if your soulmates kept dying on you – who is to say that you aren’t next? 

So you took your free car, and set off on a road trip. And that’s when you met Seok Matthew, a man who sadly, understood you a little too well. 

SEOK MATTHEW. TWENTY YEARS OLD. 1930.

Matthew’s soulmate also died in a car accident earlier that year. His chosen method of grieving was to travel the world – discovering new places and meeting all sorts of people. That’s how the two of you met, line dancing somewhere in the south america. 

Matthew wasn’t your soulmate, you knew that for sure. But you spent the next five years traveling the world together, making love in cities he took you, and living life as reckless twenty somethings. With him, you were finally able to live out your dream. 

As you lay naked in the arms of Matthew in a hotel somewhere in Paris, he asked you “what if one day, one of us meets our soulmate?”. You adjust yourself to see him more clearly, fingers softly running through his hair. The thought has crossed your mind before, more for Matthew’s sake than your own. 

“It’s been five years Matt, I highly doubt I’m going to meet anyone else. But you might.” you try to foster a small smile, reassuring him he could still have a chance. Matthew has only lost one soulmate, while you’ve lost two. 

“No, I’d never leave you.” He sits up, a large pout on his face. His stubbornness amuses you. 

“That’s what you say now, sweetie.” you laugh as you kiss his pout away. "and you know it's probably for the best, people in my hometown call me soulmate killer, you know?" you try to play it off as a joke.

"soulmate killer? that's cruel. it's not your fault y/n. you know that right?" Matthew's brows are furrowed. You smile as you hold his face, releasing the tension in his forehead by massaging his eyebrows with your thumbs.

That night, he promised to stay in your life no matter what. 

But this promise turned hazy when on one of your trips to South Asia, he met the actual love of his life. You didn’t protest when he came back to your dingy hotel, head down and in tears. You didn’t argue as you watched him pack his bags, for a trip that you weren’t going to be part of. And you didn’t push him away when he asked to kiss you one last time before he left. You let him go, and you sobbed out of loneliness. 

Kudos to Matthew, he did keep his promise. He sent letters every few months to your PO Box, but you didn’t have the heart to open all of it. Last you’ve heard, they had baby number one on the way – and that was your last straw. You changed PO Box addresses shortly after that, unbeknownst to Matthew, who still sent you letters every year until his eventual death. 

This was the first man in your life to have a happy ending. He died of old age, with 3 children and 10 grandchildren. 

Something changed in the five years you spent with Matthew. More than falling in love with a person who wasn’t your soulmate, you fell in love with the world. You could never, ever imagine yourself going back to the domesticated life at home. The years after Matthew turned you into a cynic, and you didn’t believe in love anymore either. 

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PRESENT DAY. 2023.

“Got anything that’ll get me drunk in the next ten minutes?” 

You plopped down on the bar stool, haphazardly placing your purse next to you. The bartender is eyeing you strangely, as if in disbelief that you’re even inside their establishment. 

You sigh and pull out your identification card, a laminated piece of junk that tells you how old you really are. Scratch that, how old you are meant to be. He picks up the card and raises it up next to your face, comparing the woman in the picture to your face. It reminds you that you need to get it renewed…again. After all, the last time you updated your photo was sometime in the 80s. True enough, your ID card reflects a version of you with big hair and large colorful earrings. You don’t blame him for wanting to double check, contrasting the all black ensemble you have currently. 

“Listen pal, I just buried my daughter today. I would appreciate it if you could get on with it”. You might not blame him, but you are impatient. 

He slides your ID card back and pours you a whiskey on the rocks. “Sorry for your loss ma’am” he solemnly extends his condolences as he places your drink in front of you. You pick it up, raising it and nodding a “thank you” before taking a large gulp. It burns. 

You outlived your daughter. And you wonder if you’ve been going about life in all the wrong ways. Atop the alcohol display at the bar is a small TV, flashing a report about a young woman named Somi who was murdered and found dead at her home – leaving her husband a widower. The news station flashed a photo of the blonde couple, sharing that they had just gotten married a week ago. She was beautiful. A shame. 

As the news report slowly drowns you, your mind confronts you with the memories of your past soulmates and lovers. 

PARK GUNWOOK. The soulmate you never got the chance to fully love, and died in the year 1923. 

KIM TAERAE. The soulmate who was your second chance at life, and passed away in 1928. 

SEOK MATTHEW. Who helped you live out your dreams from 1930 to 1935. 

KIM JIWOONG. A man you married in the year 1940, who died from alcohol poisioning that same year. 

ZHANG HAO. The one who gave you your daughter in 1952, but unfortunately fell victim to a house fire. 

SUNG HANBIN. The husband that raised your daughter like his very own. But experienced a very fatal heart attack on the day of your daughter’s wedding in 1973.

Of course, there were others – flings and boytoys along the way. None of which were worth reminiscing about, except maybe for Kim Gyuvin. 

At that moment, a tall man enters the bar and decides to take a seat next to you. His presence effectively drew you out from the thoughts circling your brain. Other than the fact that he too, is dressed in all black – you feel a deeper sense of similarity. Like kindred spirits, you recognize broken souls like yours. You order two more rounds of the whiskey the bartender gave you. 

“I heard about your late wife in the news, I’m sorry for your loss.” You feign sympathy and slide the glass to the man next to you. 

He looks taken aback at first, but accepts your offer. Now facing you, he raises his drink to you. You do the same. He’s strikingly handsome, with platinum hair and dark eyebrows. You also don’t miss that he’s dressed in Yves Saint Laurent from head to toe. He takes a peek at your ID card still laying on the table, making sure to catch your name. 

“Next one’s on me, Y/N” he says, taking another swig at his whiskey, finishing his glass. He calls on the bartender, and buys an entire bottle for the two of you. The bartender returns his credit card, with the name ‘Shen Quanrui’ engraved. 

“Thank you Quanrui, that’s very generous of you.” 

He puts on a small smile, almost no one calls him by his legal name. “You can call me Ricky” he says as he pours into your glass. 

“Alright Ricky. Here’s to life.” you raise up. It feels inappropriate to be clinking glasses on the day you buried your daughter, but you figured you could make an exemption. Ricky too, seemed to be going through the same thing with his late wife. 

“To life.” he responds, tapping his glass against yours. 

Just two broken souls who had lost someone important in their lives, drinking to fill the hollowness. You almost don’t feel the familiar bloom in your chest, tugging at your entire being like a magnet trying to find its other half. And if you do feel it, you pretend it’s the whiskey burning its place in your heart. 

RICKY SHEN. TWENTY YEARS OLD. 2023. The man who you assume to be your next soulmate. 

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