#this is all out of my head to be clear
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Someone: What's in your pants?
Akechi Touma: I find that to be a rather rude question, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and answer it regardless. There are endless possibilities to what you could consider to be "in my pants". One could talk about the contents of my pockets, which normally contain my handkerchief, spare change, an occasional pen or pencil, and lint. Sometimes I put garbage in my pocket until I can throw it away. Right now I have my handkerchief and a candy wrapper in my pockets. The question could apply to the fiber composition of my pants. This particular pair is a cotton polyester blend. One could stretch the definition to include the metal notions, which I'm not entirely sure what metal they contain. I'm sure there's many more materials involved that I'm not aware of. Also technically inside my pants there's probably a small amount of sweat, depending on the weather. Unfortunately, I am rather prone to wetting myself, so that could also count. Of course, the most obvious thing in my pants is me, as well as my underwear. Well, not all of me, just my waist down. I think I've exhausted all the more polite possibilities, so I must assume that you are confused by my haircut and have decided to ask about my genitals. I'll inform you that I have typical male anatomy.
#akechi touma#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki no psi nan#saiki k#this is all out of my head to be clear#the yapperrrr
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Li Yu is on!! a mission!! which is really hard to do when only one of your three currently viable forms have legs and it's not like. the ideal form.
#disabled tyrant's beloved pet fish#dtbpf#li yu#ye qinghuan#xiongfeng#piaoxue#dtbpf spoilers#on one hand this mission was actually pretty exciting#i really enjoyed it i was cheering li yu on! look at this clever fish!#but at the same time the sheer ridiculousness of it was out of this world and i love it so much#every time the man-mer form returns i die a little inside#like to be clear he can't fucking BREATHE when he's out of water like that#so he's essentially holding his breath while frantically running from one river to the next all with a giant fish head and waving fins#unreal. never change li yu#and also like... after this ye qinghuan MUST know that li yu is a mermaid right??? or something???#i REFUSE to believe he couldn't see a huge as fish tail in his koi pond especially not after li yu complained about how small it was#ye qinghuan even tried to play interference when prince li was questioning him#ye qinghuan has fully come to terms with the fact that his cousin has somehow managed to marry and impregnate his pet fish#and he's just going to try to be fucking normal about it because he actually likes li yu#what a hero#my art
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure they’re burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterina’s kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesn’t even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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Olive Branch
Wrong Move
#bad touch... 2! anyway to save everyone from a novella in the tags i will be replying to this post afterward with some directors commentary#EDIT: go look in the replies for a link to my director's commentary with bonus thumbnails#this has been sat around for like 2-3 months unfinished for reasons i will expand upon there. lol#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat isabeau#isafrin#isiloop#sifloop#sloops#sloopis#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#emplore u to not look at the anatomy too hard here because i basically took the executive decision to IGNORE THAT SHIT to get this finished#so its absolutely scuffed as is the spacial reasoning of the whole thing. theyre just laid next to each other in a bed/on a bedroll#just bc i have no fucking clue how clear any of that is. like at all#also i do promise that most of the time when im bashing the dolls together in my head it is like 90% yay what if they healed and were happy#but like. im not drawing that. lol. everyone else can go do that. im here to articulate concepts rather than make nice emotions#so . priorities. anyway sorry isabeau being tied up in this unfinished larger comic meant i didnt draw u for ages elsewhere#theres enough isafrin out there i dont need to contribute
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doodlin again i guess ??
scraps under the cut

#remedy control#control game#jesse faden#emily pope#uh... i just recently played aw2 twice back to back (final draft) and the whole time i was like#man i miss control so much#(dont misunderstand i LOVED aw2 and the DLCs! really fun! i love saga i love casey) but also. i miss control. i miss jesse and co#ahti's presence (ahti my bff) in aw2 did Not help. i wuv him hes like my strange anomalous uncle whom i'd love to have a beer or two with#wish i had gotten all of this out of my head sooner so it wouldnt be diluted via having played through a different game twice but i digress#im probably misremembering stuff my brain is so full of video games. we finished aw2 twice then immediately hopped into ff4. why? ehhhh#maybe ill do some doodles for aw2 sometime. god knows i have goofy nonsense in my brain about it. a Lot of it too#anyway a lot of this (and the previous) are mostly just drawing manifestations of the silly stuff i was talking about while streaming#namely the mold stuff literally the whole time i kept going GIRL YOU NEED RESPIRATORS YOU NEED PPE IM SO ANXIOUS [SCREAM]#also i hope it is clear that the bottom-most thing is a reference to hausofdecline's ''i think we're gonna have to kill this guy''#i thought it would be infinitely funnier to just not include text because why would there be text#anyway.... my cubes :) :) :) :) i love to throw my cubes :) :)#my brain really is just like YOU NEED TO DRAW JESSE 02983049283 TIMES and im like sir yes sir 🫡#i ljke her... normal amount...........#control game? yeah you sure do
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I don’t have any other way to describe my read on their dynamic other than Geode is in a gay relationship and Cole is in a QPR that is all

#kNOX ART (me)#this is so sketchy face in hands#i just had the scene hit me in the back of the head and i sketched it this morning#wasn’t gonna post but heck it we ball aroace content for the win#it’s Aro week I can do what i want legally— /j/j/j#LEGO Ninjago Dragons Rising#Geode ninjago#lostshipping#LEGO Ninjago#Cole Ninjago#i sound so incredibly deranged#I don’t think we lingered on the fact that Geode was so afraid of losing Cole that he lied to him to keep him there long enough#wdym he was trying to make Cole thing he needed him#their relationship would be so toxic so fast#if it weren’t for the fact that Cole is just so heckin comfortable#Aroace Cole Ninjago#please ignore this sketchy looking mess of a comic i just can’t articulate what the heck is going on inside my head#listen listen hear me out HEAR ME OUT—#all I know is Geode is SUPER gay for Cole and Cole treats Geode like he treats all his friends he just chooses to stay with him and have#a relationship#I’m JUST SAYING#i haven’t even watched all of season 2 to be clear so that’s what I’m going off of rn#as you can see i am STRUGGLING with drawing them but heck it this was just for the vibes anyway i don’t need to be fancy im being a lunatic#its midnight time to post and run and jumpscare all my new sonic followers with ninjago GOODNIGHT
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the question is who taught lucanis to knit. was it something he already knew how to do or is he picking it up over the course of the game as part of his 'if I manage to cram enough hobbies in there I won't have to sleep again ever. easy' experiment. did he learn it out of a book (as a sometime knitter, a horrifying thought but I wouldn't put it past him). as hilarious as I find the mental image of caterina with knitting needles I do not believe in it, did he pick it up from someone in the household staff growing up the same way he did cooking. is the sweater he wears with his introductory armour his own work (very funny if so it's just so. incredibly neutral toned and sensible.) I understand why he never does it on screen because animating knitting is the devil's own work and bioware were right to dodge right past it no one should wish themselves that kind of pain, but do you think off-screen he's using it the same way davrin does whittling during team meetings and book club nights (for real the grandmas were so right for this: knitting during social group situations is a neurodivergent life hack like you wouldn't believe if doodling isn't your thing/isn't doing it for you). it's that or sharpening his knives and some people seem to get a bit nervous about that so he mostly sticks to the knit one purl one of it all. does he make things for the team. for romanced rook perhaps. boring but useful things like socks and scarves, to be clear. I think mr. 'I made you a cake (cautiously marital intent)' would not mean to impress just make sure your feet weren't cold jogging around the heights of athim killing darkspawn. knitting more socks for harding so she won't get cold walking around everywhere in her fereldan *checks notes written on palm* clogs. some of taash' outfits... you think rook and lucanis are letting them walk around the anderfels like that without at least a token sensible scarf on even tho adaari are built different in terms of body temperature. I say no not in my lighthouse they would team up and mother hen them to shathann levels before they'd let that happen. (the scarf has dragons on it taash thinks it's kind of cool actually.) a bobble hat for manfred not because he really needs it but because he wanted to feel included. assan indignantly tries to steal it and fly away with it so he gets his own scarf to promote peace between the lighthouse little guys and it works. help.
#lucanis sitting there with his scariest coldest most focused eyes and people going 'hey are you... are you alright there?'#and him looking up like 'hm?🥺🧶oh yes I'm just counting'. it's canon in my heart.#he's just like me frfr in a variety of ways that are really funny fhdskja. I paused on knitting a sock to write this out#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#he overtakes my neurons in such a unique way from time to time I don't even write these things The Truth is just channeled through me#*head in my hands* I love all these characters so much. especially him but all of them. imagining what each of them might like to get#like would bellara want something for an experiment and not so much to wear. do the wisps playfully unfurl anything neve leaves around#for inscrutable reasons of their own. does lucanis make a sweater with something rude on it for davrin. like 'asshole' in antivan#'it's our word for 'warden' :)' 'uh-huh' (davrin still wears it all the time as a pure powermove to be clear)#(im crying 'cover them up warden we're going to lavendel. also happy birthday or whatever' as he tosses the sweater#directly into davrin's cleavage)#I spent most of this day quite unhappy. and then i thought about this for a while and now I feel a lot better#maybe there is joy for me in the world after all. I'll leave the possibility open another day
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the last three times tara has appeared on leverage, someone has gotten held at the throat with an implied threat of death. now i’m not saying this is her fault per se, but three in a row? that’s becoming a pattern. she’s like a very very specific omen.
#the maltese falcon job (parker holds tara over the edge of a building) + girls night out (parker holds that other thief) + this last ep#to be clear astrid is pointing the tip of the knife at parker’s throat so i’m counting it even tho she’s not actually holding her throat.#parker is presumably a lot stronger hence why she can hold ppl by the throat (‘i hang off buildings with my fingertips’) but astrid needs a#knife to make sure parker really can’t even lean her head forward too much. the point is it’s all kinda related!#i’m joking to be clear. tho i do think in girls night they were probs like ‘let’s have a callback to another tara ep’ and same thing this ep#and they’ve accidentally created quite the pattern#leverageposting#leverage#tara cole#tara leverage#leverage redemption spoilers#leverage redemption season 3#leverage redemption#lr spoilers#lr3 spoilers#other characters motifs in leverage: a drink glass. alice in wonderland allusions. etc.#motifs associated with tara: someone almost gets choked to death.#the grand complication job
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digital art is hard and i don’t know what i’m doing but it doesn’t matter because look at her. look at her. she’s even on the phone
#she’s so pretty my eyes fell out of my head#sam winchester fanart#supernatural fanart#transfem sam winchester#sam winchester#. >> mari draws !#. >> tfem sammy !#. >> sammy !#supernatural#listen i know the lighting makes zero sense... i said fuck it we ball ignore all semblance of a clear light source and just do pretty girl
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More fast food shenanigans
#bnha#my hero academia#juzo honenuki#sen kaibara#jurota shishida#setsuna tokage#monoma neito#rin hiryu#manga fukidashi#kosei tsuburaba#togaru kamakiri#pony tsunotori#sour sketches#fast food au#i remember vividly what it was like 2 work with a store full of 16 yr the olds. the image is so clear in my head how all of them would act#kosei soooooo is a food thrower. putting cheese on ppls back. making a burger on top of someones hat. hes a menace in the kitchen#manga is notorious for dropping shit in the fryer.#setsuna is a chit chatter. like girl can we please cash these people out. they want their fucking food not a bestie
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*looking at isat ss discord* my power of being silly got out of control
or how I tried understanding rpg maker basics by literally trying to do one (1) thing I really wanted to see ever since seeing Loop unused sprites lying on wiki months ago
the reason I mentioned isat ss discord was simply bc guys were the first people who saw me trying to draw close to pixel sprite face sprite for Loop to,,, do something at some point just to see how it works
and nope I'm not making this into anything, but I really like the fact that I managed to do this
(now with video post edited into this sentence!)
#the Start and the Epilogue is still planned as a visual novel in my head#I got myself rpg maker to make my thing later which is entirely not related to isat (I already showed my OCs involved in that)#isat shitpost#isat spoilers#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat head housemaiden#that one post about voices difference in isat really helped as it is a bit confusing otherwise#I learn by taking apart stuff - that's how I learn#and how I analyze too#break down the character break down the game to the point of literal out-of-bounds make it all make sense in your head#as my head REALLY likes to complicate AND simplify things#basically this was both#also I have a newfound admiration of rpg games as planning ALL this is honestly so cool#like you need to have EXTREMELY clear picture of what you see otherwise it'll break and you won't be able to fix it properly#also Loop's sprite was flying for so long before I understood the problem and it was funny as hell tbh#also they're not in my Seafoam design bc I was... honestly a bit too tired to make new sprites#so I jsut changed soe details on the ones I already looked over and called it a day for now#I'm sleepy and this silly thing took me 3-4 hours and it's like 3 seconds long#but to be fair I was confused for first 2 hours#anyway shout out to isat ss discord and a happy Loop Wednesday (it's 1 am of 5th so it IS a Loop Wednesday)#not art#sillied too hard#I also accidentally softlocked myself by putting Loop nest to Head Housemaiden so they're a bit futher from her#two hats spoilers#I FORGOT that tag
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I’m literally drooling over the thought of sensitive Bucky whimpering and whining while fucking your tits and thighs he’s so pathetic and needy all he wants is to make you feel good and to fill you with his cum even if it overstimulates him
Okay, tit fucking is great and all but thigh fucking is SO underrated in my humble opinion. Could just be the fact I've got a small chest though lmao
It's so fun when you're already really into it and the insides of your thighs are all slick. I feel like Bucky would lose it, getting to see your face and look in your eyes and enjoy your body.
It's a nice one to do while laid on your side, facing each other. Although the angle isn't quite right for him to slip inside you, it's fun to explore the other ways your bodies can steal pleasure from one another.
"This isn't going to work, sweetheart." You can't help but laugh, having already tried everything you can think of to make the height difference work. There's no way to keep this romantic and intimate in that position because there's just no chance of aligning your bodies properly to allow him to press inside you.
"Maybe not. But it feels nice anyway." His eyes flutter shut, gliding his dick over the smooth, soft, warm insides of your thighs, encouraged by how slick and easy your arousal makes the movement.
You adjust yourself to bring your other thigh on top of his length, closing him in on both sides.
You're wet enough that friction doesn't impede his movement too much and there's something oddly romantic about it. Maybe it's his hand smoothing the back of your head or his other hand up your back, pulling your body closer to his.
It's so intimate, watching his face as he whines your name, rutting senselessly against your thighs. The little flush to his cheeks is beautiful and you can't resist kissing the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. The thick duvet on top of you both, coupled with your combined body heat means the room is far hotter than you'd planned.
You take a second to reach between your bodies, spreading your wet folds and readjusting his length, letting him drag his cock against your neglected clit with each stroke and oh, that's pretty mind-blowing.
"O-oh my God." He whines, desperately fucking himself against your wet cunt, rather than into it. It's a different kind of pleasure to being inside you and while they're not comparable sensations, it doesn't stop this from feeling fantastic.
"Fuck, that's good." You groan, rolling your hips to meet his. Your fingers dip between you once more, gathering some of your slick arousal, using it to glide your fingertips over the underside of his shaft and over his balls.
"Holy shit, that's - fuck." Bucky's hardly got a coherent thought left in his head. He's closed in on both sides by your wet, soft thighs and now your fingers are giving him a different sensation underneath while pressing him against your soaked sex.
"I know, baby. Feels good, doesn't it?" Your fingertips trail lightly back and forth over the underside of his shaft, focusing on the inch or so beneath the tip.
"I can't... I need to cum." He groans, thrusting frantically, clinging to your body to keep you close. Within a few seconds, you feel his dick pulse under your fingertips, his cum coating the inside of your thighs in hot, thick, messy spurts.
He doesn't waste a second, kissing your forehead before kissing your neck and whispering "Good girl. Now let me watch you get yourself off with my cum on your fingertips."
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#needy!bucky#Bucky Barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes smut#sub!bucky#was this one something I've been fortunate enough to try? Absolutely.#and has it bounced around in my head ever since?? yep#I've got so many 💦sports asks#and I've been really hesitant to answer them bc I have people I know irl on here now#but honestly if my interests so far haven't freaked you out#those probably won't either#I made the best overnight oats last night I've been thinking about them all day#white chocolate chunks with raspberries and peanut butter#with oat milk#and I'm using that to distract me from the fact I'm locked out of my work emails and I can't do my Sunday evening email clear up#it's freaking me out that I can't get into them#that'll mean I have so much to do tomorrow morning#I'll probably lose my hour home on the train tomorrow trying to catch up#I love my hour to work and my hour home from work on the train#that's my me time#where I read my silly little book and chill
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powerful mental image of lucanis expounding passionately about any given one of his limited but extremely deep areas of interest (the wyvern/knives/coffee/cooking/murder continuum of lucanis dellamorte special interests if you will) while rye lounges around and Beholds him with palpable twink boutta pounce energy
#having lucanis really go off about something no matter what it is is a rare and precious gift for rye specifically. free aphrodisiac#honestly rye's version of that might initially be subtle enough that only davrin would notice it (and suffer accordingly) lol#'could you guys do that while I'm not here. I'm starting to feel sick' '*perfectly innocent rye voice* do what davrin? I'm not even#doing anything :}' 'yeah you're doing nothing with a lot of subtext rook there are whole chains of footnotes here I'd rather not know'#very funny idea of rye leaving the top button of his shirt open (which means about one centimeter of throat exposed. to be clear)#to go to dinner b/c that is enough to make lucanis completely lose his train of thought every time he glances over#and davrin with half his glorious booba out at all times shaking his head at rye across the table like 'you harlot (affectionate)'#(may I remind us all that his first crush was viago de riva. I remind myself of this at least twice a week b/c it's one of my few sources#of joy and delight these days. rye only gets as mean as viago under very rare and specific cirumstances but I think that#might be lucanis' equivalent aphrodisiac material lol. whenever rook gets tried to the point of showing his hand that not only#IS he actually very clever he also has the capacity to be a *bitch* when provoked lucanis finds his trousers suddenly a little tight.#man something here about both of them struggling with holding on to their anger yet actually finding it appealing in the other person#that's actually kind of moving as well as hilarious haha. rye losing his cool and being like 'oh fuck my cover is blown yet again#now everyone will know I am an asshole actually' and meanwhile lucanis is like 'I need to kiss him under the pale moonlight' <3#something something nothing is more beautiful to me than the fullness of your nature getting to witness the full spectrum of your being#'*davrin facepalming just out of frame as they gaze upon each other like this* literally what did I just SAY!!! assan avert your eyes#this is grownup stuff. weird-ass grownup stuff I don't fully get and yet I suppose it takes all kinds etc. but still grownup stuff')#davrin being the baffled witness to the intricate yet extremely low-key mating dance of two introverts is something that can be so personal#he clocked them from the moment they showed up to recruit him (which to be clear is before either of these two dumbasses realized anything)#and now he has to live with it <3 sorry davrin I love you davrin#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#davrin#from my tag rants etc.#rook x lucanis#rookanis#holding on to my sanity and will to live by a shred but with how coherent and sane this is I'm sure it's not even noticeable
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The way I’m trying not to spam post carl fic chaptersGHKLSDJFLKSJF
#knox rambles#my brain is so fried today I’m trying to convince myself to wait all least until tomorrow so i can actually read through and edit with a#clear head and stuff my gods hGLKJSDLFKJSDF#I’m still trying to stall for time as i figure out how to end this fic WHAT WAS I THINKING POSTING IT RIGHT AWAYHGLSKDFJKSDF#AAAAAAAA <- not actually upset at all just being dramatic
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one
I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)
And here's why.
I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.
In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses
When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.
Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.
For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.
Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy
You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters
And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.
Here's another example.
Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin
Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).
Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.
Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.
Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?
This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#fandom wank#on the flip side it really just doesn't all happen with shipping#doesn't this go the same way when someone hates a character so they brand them with terrible terms and act like they're terrible without#actually taking a second to analyze them simply because they dislike that character?#Hell I've seen people get really invested in platonic relationships on the fanon side‚ start labeling them as siblings because the idea of#people shipping them makes them uncomfortable‚ and then when new canon doesn't fulfill their hopes they still act like those characters#being siblings to each other is canon because it makes them uncomfortable if that's not true#I've seen people watch a trailer for a piece of media before it comes out‚ build up an entire story in their head based on that trailer#that they've designated as their perfect idea of how to handle concepts presented in the trailer‚ and then when canon doesn't end up going#that way they decide that it's bad writing simply on the grounds that this wasn't the story they wanted. so they unironically act like#writers can only be good writers if the writers play into their specific wants as the audience or things they as an audience member thinks#would be great#genuinely even if people turn off the ship side of their brain or the side that gets obsessed with characters they can still be one of those#people who acts like they love media analysis but ultimately are shit at it#I didn't put this in the body of the post cause it didn't really fit but I have to say this too#I think that 'There are multiple readings one can glean from a text and no reading is the 'true' one‚ and this is okay' and 'not every#reading is a valid one or a good one' are statements that can and should coexist#There is a difference between genuinely reading into a piece of media based on what is happening in it and purposely miscontruing and#twisting canon in a direction that contradicts text so you can then quell all criticism by saying that it's just 'a reading' and#'all readings are valid'#What I'm saying is that if you see a blue car‚ the way you get 'valid readings is people who are determining what shade of blue it is or#what it being a blue car means or the author's intent making the car blue or even speculation as to why it's blue and not potentially other#color. A case of an 'invalid reading' in this case is if someone pointed at the blue car‚ said it's canonically red and the author obviously#intended it to be red and it's canonically red‚ and then when people point out that the car is very much not canonically red (that you#can see it is a very clear shade of blue) this person doubled down and started saying that the 'haters' are being rude by implying that#their personal reading of the text is invalid (in other words 'no you can't get mad at me for saying the blue car is red because it's my#reading of the text and all readings are valid no matter what!')#anyways sorry for going off there#it just pisses me off when people repeat the argument that people who like certain things as fans are inherently unable to perform good#media analysis and are the root of fandom media illiteracy.
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