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gvfgal · 1 year

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Bound- Chapter Five (Interlude)

Chapter Four

18+! No minors!

A/n: This wasn’t supposed to be its own chapter originally, but when I started writing it I realized it needed to be its own part. So this is just a little interlude to bring us up to date in the story. Enjoy <3

Warning: Mentions of death (parents and other loved ones), mentions of grief, lost of angst, sexual situations between reader and someone who isn’t Jake (and vice versa), mentions of drug use, heavy alcohol consumption, depressive actions, etc.

Word Count: 4.9k

Five years is a lot of time to pass between two people with pasts so intricately intertwined. It brings about a change that shakes the foundation that has been stood upon for so long.

Your dad passed away one year to the day of Jake’s departure, you were still baffled at the irony to this day.

It was sudden. Peacefully, in his sleep while your mother slept beside him.

She blamed herself for it, but you reminded her as much as you could that she couldn’t have prevented it.

Everything happens when and how it’s supposed to.

The first six months were rough, the grief consuming you and your mother completely, a constant storm cloud hanging over your broken home.

You spent most nights secluded in your bedroom, crying your own silent tears as you listened to your mom cry herself to sleep down the hall.

It became the soundtrack of your life.

Then one morning, you came downstairs to her sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hands and another sitting across from her.

She smiled as you entered, “I was waiting for you to wake up, sleepyhead.”

You eyed her suspiciously as you sat down, “good mornin’. Everything alright?”

She laughed.

“Yes, baby. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you about somethin’.”

Raising your mug to your lips, you nodded for her to continue.

“I sold the house.”

You sputtered coffee onto the table, and your mom raised a questioning brow.

Gaining your composure, you grabbed a napkin from the holder to wipe your mouth, then the tabletop.

“Sold? As in already done?”

She nodded.

“Mama, why?”

Smiling compassionately, she responded, “been doing a lot of thinkin’ lately, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on from your father’s death if I stay here. There’s memories engraved into every corner of this house that our grief is tainting. I think it’s best that we preserve them, let them stay beautiful without the weight of our affliction.”

You mom always had such a way with words.

“And besides,” she chimed up a bit, reaching across the table to take your hands in hers, “what are the two of us gonna do with this big ol’ house anyway?”

You chuckled at that. She was right, the house was big, and it felt even bigger without your dad’s presence.

“I used the money to buy a smaller lot a few miles closer to town, much more fit for a widow. Then I forgot about them damn animals in that barn.”

You both laughed loudly now.

“But I got them taken care of, too. And the money I got from that, I wanna give to you.”

Your eyebrows shot up.

“Mama I—”

She silenced you with her hand.

“This ain’t just about me healing, it’s about you healing too. And you ain’t gonna do that by hanging up under me all the time. I know you’re worried about me, but I’ll be fine, baby. I promise. I want you to enjoy your life while you’re still young, because if we’ve learned anything from your father’s death, it’s that life is far too short.”

You could feel a knot in your throat forming as she spoke, and your mind briefly flashed to Jake.

“You’re right,” you piped up, looking into your mom’s eyes.

She held your gaze momentarily before smiling again, “chapter in the story though, right?”

You nodded.

In a much more lighthearted mood, your mom took another sip of her black coffee, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs, “I bet you could get yourself a cute little one bedroom apartment in a big city. New York, maybe?”

You entertained the idea for a second, before a smirk crept up on your face, “I think I have a better idea.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

As soon as the money hit your hand, you went to the nearest RV dealership and bought a used 1970 Winnebago, and it became your home for the next 2 years.

It was in almost perfect condition, needing nothing other than your own touch of personality, and with the leftover money you had from the livestock sales, plus the money from your dad’s life insurance, you were able to live comfortably without being tied down in one spot. You felt like it was some sort of blessing from above, a sign to take a break.

Your mom wasn’t thrilled with the idea of you traveling the US by yourself, but was happy that you were traveling nonetheless.

After helping her settle into her new quaint home, you set off west with no particular destination in mind.

Now, she may have been okay with you traveling, but if she knew the things you got up to on the road, she’d have a stroke.

Other than the occasional joint, you hadn’t indulged in any other drugs your entire life— that was until you made it to New Mexico.

While out at a bar one night, you met a guy named Takoda. He was cute, bronze skin, with a nose that sort of reminded you of Danny’s. His long hair was braided down his back.

It was always the guys with the long hair.

(You guys ended up dating for a few months, but that’s an irrelevant part of the story.)

The night you met, he invited you to a bonfire party with some of his friends, and with nothing better to do, you agreed.

When he offered you the shrooms, you were hesitant. But you felt a little better when he said, “I won’t take any, just so I can make sure you enjoy the ride,” so you took them.

Add that to the list of the stupidest things you’ve ever done. Taking drugs from a guy you met at a bar just hours ago. Totally cool.

But the trip was amazing, and you were somewhat hooked to the euphoric feeling that the fungi gave you.

Even still, it didn’t feel as good as being with Jake, and that was just honest.

It became a somewhat normal thing throughout the next couple years, never one to overindulge, but the occasional shroom trip under the moonlight never hurt anybody.

You had your fair share of lovers in your travels as well, your new found freedom pushing you to explore different areas of yourself further.

It wasn’t much, just the infrequent one night stand here and there when you were tired of having to get yourself off (shamefully to the thought of Jake), or the even more rare fling you’d have.

But those never lasted more than a few weeks.

The road wasn’t all debauchery, though.

With your prior experience, you were able to pick up off hand jobs on the road, helping different organizations arrange protests and other demonstrations.

And that’s where you met August Cook.

He was a newly practicing civil lawyer with a degree from Berkeley (oddly enough), and worked closely with a lot of the organizations you did.

You guys were just friends at first, having met in a few different cities for different protests.

Then one day, he asked you out to dinner, and thinking nothing of it, you agreed.

But what you didn’t expect was for him to charm the pants off of you. Other than being extremely handsome, August was as smooth as they came. He kept you blushing the entire night, and when it was time for you to say your goodbyes, you weren’t ready to part yet.

One would assume that being a lawyer, August would be snobby and arrogant, but he couldn’t have been any different. So mellow and down to earth, it was difficult for you to imagine him in a professional setting, but it drew you into him even more.

It took you completely by surprise. You hadn’t felt anything close to that since Jake, and after so many years, you thought you never would.

Damn if it didn’t feel good though.

That was January of 76’. Things moved fast after that. In June of that same year, August ended up joining you on the road, the two of you taking your services across the US in your Winnebago, a dynamic duo of sorts.

Four months later, you were struck with the job opportunity of a lifetime. Vice President of Peace Press Nashville, a humanities organization that was involved in human, civil, and environmental causes. Your involvement in the Berkeley Peace Corps, coupled with your degree credentials and field work, made you the perfect candidate for the job.

As much as you loved being on the road, meeting people and expanding your mind, you knew you were getting older, and with the need for protests declining, it was time to think about the future.

One night in your Winnebago, over take out hamburgers, you and August assessed the situation.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“I mean Nashville is close enough to home where I can visit my mom, but still far enough to feel fresh and new.”

August nodded in agreement as he took a swig of his beer. He was from Arizona, but expressed very early on that he had no intention of returning there.

“I mean, I’ve always wanted to settle down and start my own private practice. Nashville wouldn’t be a bad place to do it. I can start at a firm somewhere, save until I have enough to open my own place.”

You smiled at the idea.

“And with the money we make from selling Winnie, plus my advance from the job, and a little from our savings…”

“We’ll be set,” he finished.

You blushed, “so are we really doing this? We’re getting a place, our nomad days are over?”

August chuckled at you, his laugh reminded you of Jake’s.

“Looks like it, huh?” He squinted up at the ceiling, “I sure am gonna miss good ol’ Winnie, though.”

Biting your lip, you slid your foot up the inside of his leg, “me too. Guess we’ll have to make the most of her while we still can.”

August smirked, his frisco eyes boring into yours as he leaned into you.

“Guess so, huh?”

He took you right there on the table.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

By December, you guys had settled into your two bedroom duplex in downtown Nashville. August had no problem finding a firm to on board him, he was a genius, it was one of the many things you loved about him.

And your mom was of great assistance helping find the perfect place for you guys.

She hadn’t gotten the chance to meet him in person, but all the things you told her about him plus the pictures you sent in the mail from your trip to the Grand Canyon, your mom was more than eager to meet the dashing man who swept you off your feet.

And needless to say, she was just as swooned as you were.

Your new job was everything you hoped it would be, keeping you rather busy but in a way that you loved.

August even surprised you by turning the spare bedroom into a double office for you guys.

On your first Christmas in your new house, August tricked you into thinking that he forgot to get you anything due to the stress of moving.

You did your best not to pout, but you were slightly disappointed. Especially since you had taken the time to get a high end messenger bag engraved with his initials, something you paid a pretty penny for, and you were very excited to give him.

He let you mope around for a bit until he couldn’t take it anymore, and as you sat bundled up on the couch watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town, he went into his nightstand and pulled out the ring box he had tucked away.

You pouted as he obstructed your view of the TV, but once you realized what he was doing, your heart stopped.

You beat yourself up for it till this day, but as August knelt before you that Christmas evening, professing his undying love, you hadn’t heard a single word he said.

All you could think about was Jake.

It was frustrating, honestly, because Jake had nothing to do with this moment. He was just a chapter in the story. You loved August, you wouldn’t have agreed to live with him if you didn’t. And you liked the idea of marrying him, you really liked the idea.

But Jake…

“Will you,” you heard August’s voice through the haze, “marry me, y/n?”

Your eyes focused back in on him, and the way his tanned cheeks turned red made your heart pick up its rhythm.

You stood from the couch, walking over to him, he greeted you with a hand on the back of your thigh.

The ring was beautiful, much more than what you expected of him.

Finally, you smiled at him, no longer leaving him hanging in suspense.

“Yes.”

He kissed you, and made saccharine love to you for hours.

But as you drifted off to sleep that night, it was Jake’s face that you dreamt of.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The next morning when you awoke, however, Jake was the last thing on your mind.

I’m engaged, you thought.

I’m getting fucking married.

Your mom was over the moon, and your few college friends that you still kept up with, along with your new friends you made on the road, were all eager to hear the details about how it happened, and what happened after.

The night you got engaged was the last night you really thought of Jake. You loved him, yes, and a part of you always would, but the life you saw ahead of you, with August, there in Nashville; it was a good one.

And you thought you were at peace with what transpired between you and Jake, from start to finish. You thought you had finally closed the book on that chapter of your life.

You thought, anyway.

Then you saw him again…

The past five years of Jake’s life was a story of its own, starting from the moment Josh returned from your house that morning.

Josh had to be the one to break it to his brother that you wanted nothing to do with him, and the sorrow Jake felt was palpable in the room.

He’d consumed half a bottle of whiskey by the time they left for the airport.

He didn’t remember the plane ride to LA, nor did he remember falling asleep that night either.

All he remembered was waking up on the couch of an apartment style hotel room, three sets of disapproving eyes watching him.

“What?” He grumbled as his eyes strained in the light, “I’m fine.”

When he noticed the fully stocked mini bar in the corner, he retrieved the fresh bottle of Jameson, popping off the lid and taking a big gulp, “let’s get to it then.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Busy couldn’t even begin to describe their lives for the next year. After only a couple months of being out in LA, one of their shows had the city buzzing the following day, talks of this new Greta Van Fleet flooding the streets.

Jake was on fire that night, one of his best performances, Josh always reminded him.

But Jake didn’t remember a single thing from that night, he was absolutely loaded.

From that point on, the boys gained a steady following of fans all over the west coast, picking up new ones in every city they toured, and by the time they released their first album, Greta Van Fleet was fully launched.

They hit it big, Jake knew they would, the album was incredible, and the night they celebrated the release, he drank until he couldn’t feel his face.

The drinking became a customary thing for him, it was the only way to fill the gaping hole he had in his heart since the day he left Tennessee, if only momentarily.

You were a constant all consuming energy that he could never escape, occupying his brain during the day, and the main character of his dreams at night.

He’d drink to his absolute limit at any given opportunity, some nights indulging so heavily he’d pass out in his hotel room, and Josh would have to swoop in and rescue him. He’d help his twin clean and dress, situating him in bed with a glass of water, it became routine.

Josh was forever worried about his other half, realizing the effect your breakup had on him was more than he’d thought it would be. He tried on multiple occasions to get Jake to talk about it, but he’d never budge.

“I just miss her, Josh,” he’d slur out before drifting into an alcoholic coma, taking himself to the land you inhabited in his dreams.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

When things got that bad, Jake would put the bottle down for a while and switch to another vice of his — women.

They were everywhere, in every city they visited. Once they made it big, they were at he and his brother’s disposal, in any flavor they could think of. Jake was sure that if he slept with enough of them, he’d be able to move on from you.

He couldn’t have been more than wrong.

You even haunted this aspect of his life, it was truly pathetic.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

June 14th, 1973

Sacramento, California

“Fuck you’re so big!”

Jake had brought the petite brunette back to his hotel room only 20 minutes ago, and she had been riding him for the last 15 of them.

She moaned loudly again, and Jake rolled his eyes.

He wished she’d just shut up.

She was a cute girl, but her voice was shrill and nasally, not necessarily what Jake wanted to hear when he was trying to get off.

He’d much rather hear the sounds you made, low and sultry, that dash of your southern accent the perfect cherry on top.

He shut his eyes and recalled a memory of you riding him this way, in the bed of his truck at the creek one night.

Drowning out the sounds of the girl above him, Jake let the memory envelope him and carry him towards his end.

When he let out a guttural moan at one detail in particular, the girl moaned in response, speeding up her pace in his lap.

“You like that?” she asked.

She had stamina, he’d give her that.

He ignored her, though, and continued to daydream.

If he wasn’t so drunk, he’d feel bad about using her to get off this way, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Jake sighed, “fuck y/n,” and immediately he caught himself, “shit.”

She came to a stop, panting and looking at him with confusion, “what did you call me?”

He blinked at her. Maybe if he ignored it, she’d give up and continue.

But she didn’t, instead she retreated from his lap, wrapping the sheet around her exposed body.

“My name is Chelsea.”

Jake sat up, “I know that.”

He did not know that.

“Then why did you call me that?”

He blinked again, “I…” he thought carefully, “…didn’t?”

Chelsea scoffed, “you asshole, you totally did!”

She got up from the bed and began dressing, cursing at Jake all the while. He was halfway listening, going over a riff in his head as he popped open the bottle of tequila on the nightstand.

He was taken by surprise when, after taking a swig from the bottle, a now fully dressed Chelsea stomped across the room and slapped him hard across his face.

“Jerk.”

Okay, he probably deserved that.

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room, and Jake clutched his searing hot cheek.

“Tiny but mighty,” he mumbled.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

A US tour was scheduled for them following the release of their album, and the boys were pumped.

The first show was electric, and they were all on cloud nine as they returned to their rooms for the night.

As Jake prepared for a shower, the hotel room phone rang.

He took a seat on the edge of the bed as he answered, “hello?”

“Hey sweetheart.” It was Karen.

Jake smiled at the sound of his moms voice, though he could hear a tinge of sadness in her tone.

Probably just misses us, sad she couldn’t make our first show.

“Hey mama, how’s it going?”

She asked him how the show was, and he told her all the highlights, expressing his excitement for the shows ahead.

Karen let him ramble, congratulating him and telling him how proud she was. Then she told him she had something important to tell him, Jake was quiet as she spoke.

“Mr. Y/l/n passed away this morning.”

Jake gulped as he processed the news.

“Wh-what? How?”

Karen sounded sorrowful as she explained, “they don’t know for sure, he went to sleep last night and didn’t wake up this morning. They’re thinking it was a heart attack.”

Jake felt as if he would suffer a heart attack of his own right then and there as he thought of the anguish you must’ve been in. You always had a close relationship with your dad, and to lose him so suddenly must’ve been taking a toll on you.

“How is she? Is- is she okay?”

There was a lingering silence, “I spoke to her earlier, she seemed to still be in shock. Her mother is devastated, though. I think she’s just trying her best to be there for her.”

Jake shook his head, getting up from the bed to pack up his belongings. He always admired your compassion, how you were so devoted to those that you loved, it was in your nature to be there for your mother during a time like this.

But who was gonna be there for you?

He didn’t bother going over options of who it would be, he decided himself that he would be the one. To hell with what happened in the past, he needed to make sure you were okay.

Karen heard the shuffling, “Jake, sweetie what are you doing?”

He picked the phone back up, “I’m coming home, ma. I have to see her, make sure she’s okay. I can’t just sit here living my life to the fullest when she’s stuck out there in pain. I have to come home.”

“Now Jake,” her tone was even and calming, putting an ease to the frantic energy Jake was emitting, “I know you care about her, and I know you’re worried about her, but you just finished your first show of your tour. You can’t just up and leave.”

“I don’t give a damn about the tour, mom. She needs me.”

“Does she, sweetheart? Or is that the idea you’ve put in your head?”

Jake went quiet, his mother’s words like salt in a gaping wound, but she wasn’t wrong.

“You want to be here for her, I get it. But think about it baby, after everything that happened between the two of you, do you really think seeing you is the best thing for right now?”

He sighed in defeat, “no… you’re probably right.”

They talked for a while longer, Karen easing his concerns and telling him she’d send you and your mom condolences from the boys.

After hanging up, Jake went to continue his task of showering with a heart heavier than it was before the phone call.

As the water beat against his skin, a memory struck him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

February 24th, 1973

Los Angeles, California

Poppy Prescott was one of the few women Jake was involved with that he actually liked. She was born and raised in Texas, but moved to LA a few years ago to pursue her dream of acting. And although she had the stigma of a typical dumb blonde with plastic tits, Poppy was actually very intelligent.

Being around her didn’t make him want to pull his hair out, and while he was in LA, she was always the first person Jake would call when he had an itch that needed scratching.

Tonight was one of those nights, and after going a couple rounds, the two of them laid tangled in her bed sheets, Jake smoking a cigarette as he stared at the ceiling absently.

“What’s on your mind, handsome?” Poppy asked in her heavy accent as she placed her head on his bare chest.

Jake exhaled a cloud of smoke, “nothin’.”

“I know that look, Jake. That ain’t a look of ‘nothin’’. What’s going on inside that big beautiful brain of yours?”

He pondered for a moment, taking another drag from his cigarette, “can I ask you somethin’, Pop?”

She sat up, giving him her undivided attention, “sure, anything.”

“You ever been in love before?”

Poppy was taken aback by the question. When she and Jake talked, it rarely included topics like this.

She sounded reminiscent as she answered, “yeah I have… once when I lived in Texas.”

Jake craned his neck to look at her, “who was he?”

Poppy smiled a sorrowful smile, “his name was Brock Lansing, captain of our highschool baseball team and the light of my life,” she scoffed, “he was so handsome, Jake, you wouldn’t have believed it. And man, did he love him some me.”

Jake grinned at the thought.

“We argued like we was married,” she continued with a laugh, “but that’s just because we cared about each other so much, we were so passionate. It was like that till the very end.”

“What happened?”

Poppy’s face dropped then, and she let out a long sigh, “he was in a car accident on graduation night. Some drunk idiot from our highschool was leaving the party he was headed to, ran into him head on at some god awful speed.”

Since losing you, Jake had become a lot less empathetic towards a lot of things, he didn’t have the room to care about much other than his music anymore.

But hearing Poppy’s words actually struck something in him, he felt a twinge of pain in his chest, proof that his heart was still in there somewhere.

Though he couldn’t see himself with her outside of the four walls of this bedroom, Jake cared about Poppy, and the thought of her going through something so traumatizing troubled him.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Poppy.”

She smiled down at his hand as he stroked her leg, “that’s life for ya. It was hard, still is hard, but I’m makin’ it.”

Jake’s eyes were serious as he asked his next question, “how did you do it? How can you heal from a loss like that?”

“Wellll,” she dragged out, “it might sound a bit insane, but whenever I had something I wanted to say or get off my chest, I’d write a letter to him.”

Jake’s eyebrow tipped up, causing Poppy to laugh loudly.

“I know, I know. I mean, it’s not like I sent them, of course. But sometimes, everything I was feeling was just too much to carry. And being able to write it down, as if I were talking to him, it just made me feel a little better.”

“Do you still write to him?”

Poppy shrugged, “not as much as I used to, but yeah. Whenever I find myself missing him a little more than usual, I just put it on paper, seal it up, and add it with the others.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

That night after his shower, Jake grabbed the post card he’d purchased at the gift shop for his parents and wrote a letter to you on the back.

He knew his situation was a lot different than Poppy’s, but he also knew there was a method to her madness.

Jake crammed so many words onto the back of that post card that it was almost illegible, but there was so much he needed to say.

He wrote and wrote and wrote until his hand was cramped, and once he was finished, he admittedly felt a little better. He tucked the post card into his suitcase, and then he went to sleep.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

For the next four years, Jake wrote several more letters to you, but he never sent a single one.

He’d pick up a post card in almost every city he and his brothers visited, and on the back, he’d write away in the comfort of his hotel rooms late into the night and early into the morning.

He would tell you about his travels, which only accelerated as the band continued to gain traction. When they toured Europe in ‘74, Jake wrote to you from hotel rooms that overlooked the Eiffel Tower and the Sistine Chapel.

He bought a home in Montana in ‘75 that backed right up to a gorgeous mountain scape. The first night he was settled in, he wrote to you again while drinking a glass (or, more like a bottle) of white wine.

His entire family was confused as to why he chose Montana, he’d never expressed much interest in living there before, but he had his own reasons, they assumed.

The drinking and the women, it never really went away. But he now had his letters, and the combination of the three, along with his music and his brothers, managed to keep him functioning as the years passed on.

Jake wasn’t the same as he used to be, he knew that.

He’d think about you all the time, what your lives would be like if you hadn’t broken up. If he had just been truthful with you from the start, where would you guys be now?

Thoughts like that dominated his brain every night.

Sometimes he wondered if he’d ever see you again, and what he would do if he did. And years later, on a calm March night in Nashville, he got his answer.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Chapter Six

Taglist: @jakesgrapejuice

#greta van fleet #gvf #daniel wagner #greta van fleet smut #greta van fic #greta van smut #danny gvf #gvf fic #jake gvf #josh gvf #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fic #greta van fluff #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka smut

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 1 year

Text

tuesday again 6/13/2023

very games-centric week

listening

this opening bit samples bowie's life on mars and sounds like a piano cover of a half-remembered but still beloved childhood anime. like the kind you had a set of two VHS clamshells for but only episodes 4-6 and 10-12. it goes on the "lofi beats to data and entry to" playlist. spotify

reading

fallow week

watching

the folks at waypoint games, formerly vice's leftist games vertical, BOUGHT THE BRAND FROM VICE and are rebranding as remap. i wish them all the fuckin best and i hope they succeed but i feel like we have maybe six months of this before one of them goes literally bankrupt from a doctor's visit bc healthcare is such a fuckin nightmare in this country. im simply not excited for starfield. i am not interested in corporate nasa

youtube

anyway i enjoyed their commentary, excited for compulsion games' southern gothic action/adventure spellcaster South of Midnight

youtube

neutrally optimistic about obsidian's Avowed, bc i do love obsidian but i do not love sword and sorcery rpgs

youtube

there's airships in microsoft flight simulator so i may genuinely buy one month of gamepass to try that out

capcom's path of the goddess looks fucking gorgeous but i have never played more than half an hour of a capcom game and i expect i never will. is this topdown? is this isometric? what the fuck is the gameplay mode??? who could FUCKING say

youtube

also there's a new jersey fallout 76 expansion coming at some point. in real life i hate atlantic city and i don't really how know this will look or play differently from point lookout. i don't know if i want to play a much-reviled cash cow mmorpg just to get postapoc jersey lore. if this leads up to 5 being set in nyc im going to be real pissed off. go somewhere DIFFERENT. there are DIFFERENT PLACES on the east coast!!! blease

playing

viddy game can consistently turn my brain off enough that i forget im moving cross country in two weeks and can forcibly relax my body for twenty mintues at a time between packing boxes. so there's been a lot of pomodoro-ing, or my version which is: pack until i get so anxious i physically cannot pack anymore, go have a snack, go play twenty minutes of a video game, and then go pack until i am on the verge of a panic attack again. this is not healthy but all my books are packed. all of these were free on epic at some point btw which is why i own them

the first time i played Airborne Kingdom, i lost track of time and beat it in one sitting in eight hours. the second time i played Airship Kingdom, i replicated that exact experience. i have allied with all the kingdoms and have like two hundred souls on board but am not QUITE selfsufficient enough to take on the northern/artic sea DLC. stay tuned. soundtrack in this thing is great.

youtube

bounced VERY hard off Close to the Sun, a bioshock-lite i put about four hours/three levels into. a huge gilded age cruise ship where the science has Gone Wrong would normally be catnip to me, but the game did brutally kill the player character's sister in front of me in an unskippable cutscene so we're done with that game now THANK YOU. it is very slow, which i do like in a game that gives you this much stuff to look at, but there is no gamma control. this game is so fucking dark. i played it in a dark room with no lights and it was still too dark.

youtube

pinged off the typing exploration game Epistory despite its charming art, bc fast and accurate typing is something covid has taken from me.

youtube

rediscovered Carcassone (online) which is great bc i love Carcassone and own a physical copy of the board game but no one else in my life loves it. tile-building countryside-building game, seconds to learn, etc. thank you board game review even though there are no meeple in their natural habitat (the board) in this picture

making

it's gonna be putting things into boxes for the forseeable future (the next week) and then living out of them for a while (the next two weeks after that)

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Bandcamp #Youtube

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 11 months

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Tagged by: Fave of faves @bethanyactually--and usually I save every post I'm tagged in to (at least theoretically) do later, but since I actually have returned to watching and listening to things lately, I'm gonna do this one right now.

Last song: Like You Do by Josh Ramsay. And Christian Kane's cover of Fast Car, both of which were recced to me by Leander, who knew I should hear them. But also, while I haven't listened to any of it since Tuesday, I woke up with the Daisy Jones and The Six soundtrack playing in my head...just like it has been ever since I originally started watching the series. Today it's mostly been The River featuring Simone, Regret Me, and More Fun To Miss. I know enough of the lyrics now for the soundtrack to be my constant mental radio as I go about my day.

Currently watching: Nancy Drew S2 (I'm 4 episodes in and enjoying it a lot), Schmigadoon S2 (I've seen half of it and it's still fantastic and I'm bummed I only have 3 episodes to go) and today I'm about to start my Good Omens rewatch so I can head into the new season full of S1 feels. Because my best friend is literally the best, I'm also partly through a DJATS rewatch with Leander seeing it for the first time--making that my favorite thing I am watching right now.

Currently reading: Nightwork by Nora Roberts (I'm about halfway through it and have been borrowing it from @actuallylukedanes forever and I feel very bad about that! I will finish it! I'm also partly through How to Raise an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi, also on loan from Leander. And before that, I was (and remain) partway through literally 20 other ebooks of all kinds--most recently Zero Fail: The Rise and Fall of the Secret Service by Carol Leonnig. There's a ton of great nonfiction that I already have on my tablet and know I'll enjoy cuz I'm that kind of geek...I just rarely read anymore because reading time is time I'm not spending with my millions of other hobbies.

Current obsession: As referenced above, Daisy Jones and The Six, which I am so so happy Leander is watching with me--both helping me get it out of my system a little and letting me indulge even more in my love of it. After we watched it on Wednesday, I was able to listen to something that wasn't the soundtrack for the first time, so I just may be able to dial this obsession down to manageable levels at some point. But GUYS IT'S SO GOOD. I want to gif it as soon as I get back to Photoshop and I kind of want to read the book, when I didn't before. I just want to burrow into the world and live there, and I haven't felt that way in quite a while, about anything. (It's made it harder to engage with other things, which is why I originally was going to add Ted Lasso's completed final season to my week along with Nancy Drew and Schmigadoon, but ended up not doing so because my head and heart are full of DJATS right now. But I missed this feeling, too, so I'm happy to be in love again.)

No-pressure tagging: @actuallylukedanes, @jicklet, @jakeperalta, @beturass, @hondagirll, @mythologicalmango, @dollsome-does-tumblr, @anextrapart, @sentichefuoripiove, @robbiedaymonds and anybody else who wants to do this.

#actuallylukedanes #i have the best best friend #daisy jones and the six #christian kane #bethanyactually #josh ramsay #the river #regret me #more fun to miss #nancy drew #schmigadoon #good omens #nightwork #nora roberts #ibram x. kendi #how to raise an antiracist #zero fail: the rise and fall of the secret service #carol leonnig #tag games

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portuguesedisaster · 3 months

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From the three songs ask meme: 2, 3, 11, 13, 21, 22, 23, 28 maybe, 29, 30 😁

LET'S GOOO. This is a lot ahahah

2. three last songs you listened to

Ophelia by The Lumineers (I LOVE THIS ALBUM OMG, just bought it on CD 😍)

Bring it on Home by American Authors ft Philip Phillips and Maddie Pope

Glee's cover of Home (originally by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros)

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

Oh hard, let's see

Broken Crown by Mumford and Sons (my boy Rand Al Thor song and no one can convince me otherwise)

Ex-Wives by the cast of SIX The Musical (bop bop bop, historical bop)

Crystals by Of Monsters and Men (still looking for this CD if anyone has a copy... 😉)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

Ok, I'm gonna consider just general soundtracks don't come after me :)

Bright by The Cast of Julie and The Phantoms (look here Netflix I have a knife 🔪)

Hey Ferb by The Phineas and Ferb cast :)

Louder than words by The Cast of Tick Tick... BOOM

13. three songs you want at your funeral

Funeral by Lukas Graham

See you again by Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Put - the Sami Jebari version tho

Idk actually ( something more in the line of LG than WK though)

21. three songs of your childhood

Nights by Avicii

Huntik Go from the Soundtrack of Huntik (this series as a whole is a big part of my childhood)

Price Tag by Jessie J (no idea why my school ran with this song's hype)

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

Eraser by Ed Sheeran (don't ask lol)

Daylight by David Kushner

Oak Trees by Daniel Nunnelee

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

Jump up Superstar from the soundtrack of Super Mario Odyssey

Gold by Bunt (unreleased I guess but it counts !)

Could have been me by The Struts

28. three best songs to get drunk or high to

Nancy Mulligan by The Wellerman Ft Malinda (the original is by Ed Sheeran)

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees (dk if anyone still listens to this but y'know)

Soldier, Poet, King (dk why but it vibes drunk)

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

Cleopatra by The Lumineers ( I was taller than the rafters)

Scared to start by Michael Marcargi

For those below by Mumford and Sons

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Gypsy Heart by Bunt ft Neil Ormandi

Eleanor Rigby by Cody Fry (the original is by The Beatles)

I lived by One Republic (but the version from One Night In Malibu- that entire album features the best version of all these songs I swear)

#ask carol #carol says stuff #my music taste is all over the place #:)#this took way too long but i'm so down for more

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trenchcoatsbi · 1 year

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yoo could i ask for a playlist for a tallulah qsmp fictive mayhaps? she has an insatiable hunger for music it's frightening (/silly) ,, she likes soundtracks (child of light is her current fav), stuff like the oh hellos/cavetown/bears in trees, and generally cozy sorta feeling songs, plus anything lullaby-ey if that makes sense :] hope u guys are well! sorry this is a tad long or vague hhaha -–🔉🌠

hello! Admittedly I rushed this a bit I’m not as sure about these as I was about 🌾🪶 Phil’s but I took a swing we’ll see if I missed later I guess. I tried to include as many artists as possible so you have plenty of people to look through since you said she was a bit insatiable when it came to music! I did phone in the last few songs like the lullaby-eque ones. yeah again this was a bit of a mess on my end. Though I have been writing down songs for this for a while I didn't have an easy time narrowing down things as to what I wanted to include so at this point I've just thrown my hands in the air and declared it done now. Sorry if the playlist is messy or unsatisfactory.

Art used is by @/sallomezz on tumblr and can be found here!

Hope you find something to enjoy on the playlist or in my bonus ramblings below! -phil

okay so I kinda cheated my self imposed rule of one song per artist but in my defense I couldn’t choose between Moonlight and Paperwork… They’re my two favorite Fish in a Birdcage songs and I thought both were kinda fitting so oh well both of them are there.

Anywho I could go on and on and on about how I was this close to fighting myself to the death (<- hyperbolic) over this. Let's just get to other recommendations I didn't put on for one reason or another.

Starting with musicians I put on there but didn't include a song from for whatever reason:

Myxrite! My personal favorite song Now and Again doesn't look like its on Spotify at all so uh yeah I'm linking it here because I like it a lot.

Bug Hunter is on there too but he's currently in the top ten of my favorite musicians so yeah here's more suggestions! Go With The Flow and Listen to Your Mom pretty high up there in terms of my favorite songs. Making Up Words is one of my favorites lyrically (though I must say that Disco in the Panic Room is up there too), and of course I have to mention Try My Best and Slow Burn because I keep using lyrics from them to inspire drawings (that I'll never post anywhere online). Okay fuck I need to move on before I link literally every single one of his songs lol

Same as Bug Hunter, The Narcissist Cookbook is up there in terms of my favorite musician + he put the MOTH album (one of his old ones that wasn't on on youtube yet) on youtube recently so he's been in my head a lot. Ghost Stories and UNWELCOME GUESTS (warning: unwelcome guests starts with a phone ringing noise idk my friends always get surprised by it so I'm just gonna mention it in case) are rahgjagh they are so good they exist in my head rent free

Madilyn Mei has been on loop in my head cause a friend of mine. Anyway Six Legs (tippy tappy toes) and Sleeping in the Kitchen. just live in my brain now because of them lol

The actual recommendations that aren't just more songs from folk on the playlist already:

I Fight Dragons! I fucking love them! Their music tends to have techy/8-bit noises and they're a bit more on the rock side of things but their stuff is really good! Good Morning Sunlight and Oh The Places You'll Go... They are the most <3 to me forever... Sunny Afternoon too... God I love IFD I need to make my friends listen to them with me more

If you like IFD you may also like Jonathan Coulton or the portal song guy as my friends know him lol. Nobody Loves You Like Me or Now I Am an Arsonist or really anything from the Artificial Heart Album is always my go to for showing people besides the songs from Portal (Still Alive and Want You Gone) that my friends know.

Similar to IFD, a lot of Going Spaceward's songs have techy noise in the like proper releases, but his youtube has a lot of acoustic versions of his songs that don't have those. His covers are good but really most of his music is just funky. Uh since I will absolutely not narrow this down in any timely fashion I'm just going to link the entire Can You Hear It Album and uh Count Past 23.

Joseph Dubay is a musician I only got into like a few months ago but I really like his stuff, kinda similar vibes to what i was going for with this playlist but a lot of his songs just didnt fit the vibe so I didn't feel like adding them. That being said I am obliged to tell absolutely everyone I talk about music with to listen to Pastel Goth and 4evr so yeah.

Completely different vibe but San Fermin may be of interest to y'all! Astronaut and The Woods are the ones I listen to most from them but everything about their music just scratches the brain itch for me. Their stuff is indie rock which is kinda in the genres of the bands you mentioned!

A bit of a different suggestion but since you mentioned her liking soundtracks AZALI might be a cool youtube channel to check out! They make short songs in FL Studio and idk I'll be honest I don't listen to soundtracks or things like you mentioned in that part of your ask but I do listen to every upload AZALI makes and I think they're all pretty neat. The songs are all like a minute or two long but I like to just put them on loop when I'm writing. Truth, Violence, Warmth is my go to for writing for this specific project, but Mechanical God was how I found their channel and I'm just fond of City of Shattered Glass so there those three are my suggestions.

#phil posts #sbi asks #playlists #qsmp fictive #tallulah fictive #🔉🌠 anon #somethings might be a bit messed up wrote this while half asleep haha #if anything is messed up I'll fix it when I wake up -phil

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insertcoolermonikerhere · 1 year

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Watching Into the Spiderverse.

Nine minutes in. I love the way Gwen moves, loved the introductory sequence, the way the colour blend and don't, the music cues and soundtrack, the backgrounds...

"I didn't join the band to talk about my feelings" / "I did."

"Tonight's the night we catch Spider-Woman." / "Oh, great."

"Explain to me how a guy with a forty-foot wingspan just waltzed into the [place name I couldn't understand (doogunheim?)] unnoticed?" / "Hey, it's New York. Everyone's got their thing."

"Look out for signs of Spider-Woman!" / "We found her." / "How's the manhunt for me going?"

"VULTURE!" [...] "... Screaming their name usually works."

Eighteen minutes...

Music cues! Again! Miguel's theme reminds me a little of the Prowler. The Vulture's design is incredible. I love the paper-parchment feel of it. The arrows turning into folded paper cutouts? Very cool.

Hammerspace is my new favourite word actually.

Gwen, baby, that's gotta be a hell of a concussion.

Miguel O'Hara more like Miguel O'Ass Fat. dude could be Dick Grayson under that mask.

Lila!

Spider Mommy...

The canon? Or the Canon?

UHH WHAT THE FUUCK WERE THOSE TEETH DUDE

Yikes yikes yikes ACAB. But seriously, how long have you been chasing this Spider-Woman? How long have you thought that she killed your daughter's best friend. Why is your first question about her supposed dishonesty? How does she not know you won't just kick her out or turn her over, how is she supposed to feel safe telling you if you have been out for blood? And for how long?

The colours. Again. THE COLOURS

"Okay. Knock yourself out." / "Why are you saying it like that?"

"Will you adopt me." / "What?" / "What?"

"I'm a good guy!" / "You don't look like a good guy."

"You're in this to help people, right? Right?" (There's so much desperation here. She's hurting, a lot.)

Twenty three minutes.

Miles is as idiotic as ever. I love the animation shifts. The Spot is the character ever.

Thirty four minutes.

Spot gives wet cat.

Minutes number forty four and damn I wish whenever my dad started yelling at me in an public setting someone would turn up the background noise to drown us out that would actually be. Awesome.

Miles is a bit of an ass. I don't really like him in this movie so much? I get that he has a lot on his plate, but he's reckless and irresponsible and doesn't actually cover for himself in any sound way.

Walk of shame (after parental discourse that you lost painfully because you can't articulate why they're hurting you and they won't listen in the first place and neither of you understand each other but you just know it's getting worse rather than after a one night stand)

Minute forty six

GWEN STACY!

OH GOD NOOO I would have thrown her out on her ass if she'd touched my shit like that

47:46 nice call back to movie no. 1

Gwen if you've been with them for that long why only reach out to Miles now?

Oh okay

The audio sounds really tinny

What, so Miles loses his Converse & jacket, but Gwen gets new shoes? Ballet slippers worked for her though?

Gonna cut it off here and come back later with a full like. rant idk??

#into the spider verse #spiderverse spoilers

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tribadismes · 1 year

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7, 10, 11, 34 for the tv show ask!

Hey love ! Thank you so much for asking !!

7. have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced ?

oh definitely ! probably the case for 1/4 shows i've watched !

10. what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate ?

There's this show called Work in Progress that sounded right up my alley, it's written & stars a butch with ocd so you know basically my life story, i was really excited about it, but it ended up making me extremely uncomfortable and was a huge disappointment. The premise is already... really icky since it's about this 40 something butch lesbian who starts dating a 20 yo pre-transion trans man, but you know it could have been handled in a good way i guess ? but it wasn't, it really really wasn't, and the main character is so unlovable and, yeah, big flop, wouldn't recommend, oh at all. I was also really disappointed in Dead End : Paranormal Park, it's an adult horror/fantasy cartoon featuring a gay trans man lead and his autistic bestie and talking dog. I love adult cartoons and liked the premise and animation style so i was like this is gonna be good but it's not. I watched it less than six months ago and barely remember it so i can't really elaborate lmao but i remember the plot being both messy and underwhelming (proof : can barely tell you what the plot even is) and also that the worldbuilding was extremely lackluster, which is a huge dealbreaker when we're talking fantasy like ?? Needless to say i dropped both these shows after the first season and never looked back.

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion ?

if we're talking serious good original soundtrack obviously Twin Peaks comes to mind... if we're judging by how obsessed i am with it then... Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, oh surprise

34. what are your top 5 shows right now ?

i loooove that question and i will even make a proper ranking for yah ! I'm judging by how often I think about them and how much youtube content i consume around them lmfao.

5. A League Of Their Own : best show of 2022, favorite lesbian show since oitnb probably, actually haven't gone into a youtube rabbit hole about it (yet) but i really wanna rewatch it soon, also my thirst for butches in period clothing is endless

4. Arcane : i am obsessed with this show, watched it twice in like a week, it's amazing truly, so fucking well-written, if you're into fantasy, animation, crazy women and butches with big muscles you should definitely watch it. I don't think a show has ever emotionally scarred me like that and i loved every second of it.

3. Young Royals : i regularly rewatch scenes from this show, i'm just fascinated with the acting... also i love their love, makes me wanna fall in love again (yes i have been using it as a coping mechanism since my break up to remember love is beautiful and shit)

2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend : i mean what can i say that i haven't already said jjjkjkjkjarf the thing is it's the only show on this little list that i watched for the first time a really really long time ago (4, 5 years ago ?) and that has finished airing (cause my obsession for the other shows is mostly explained by : i'm waiting for the next season/episode) but i'm just obsessed with the music man, i listen to it on a daily basis almost

Helluva Boss : indie adult cartoon (free on youtube), hence why it's almost unknown except if you're an embarrassing cartoon dweeb like me lmfao but it's about to be a lot more famous since a show by the same creator in the same universe was picked up by i believe hbo and is going to air sometime this year. The best way to describe the tone of the show is, it's like Bojack Horseman but in hell. It's. So. So. Good. It has everything i love : really really dark humour, fucked up characters, drama, incredibly toxic gay ships, tons of lore, great world-building, foreshadowing, and most importantly a completely hectic release schedule (due to it being indie) that makes my adhd go absolutely fucking bonkers

#realizing that i watch so much tv my tastes are becoming pretty obscure lmao

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muffinmonstah-art · 2 years

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Don’t know if you accept headcanons or recs but I was reading Death in the Family again and I realized that Jason was possibly left a deed to a plot of land by his parents before his death. I imagine that if Jason was ever to try to make a life for himself he would rebuild a house on that land and fix it up and everything.

Apart from that, I was listening songs yesterday and I realized that I have two songs that really remind me of JayBabs.

A Rush of Blood to the Head by ColdPlay

He said, "I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down / "I'm gonna put it six feet underground" / He said, "I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall / "Stand here beside me, baby, in the crumbling walls / "Oh, I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire / "Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires / "Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn / "And do back the things it did to you in return /He said, "I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war / "If you can tell me something worth fighting for

(You’ll have to listen to the whole song but with the ending and meeting halfway really gave me their vibes)

And, Gun Song by The Lumineers

I don't own a single gun / But if I did you'd be the one / To hold it, aim it, make all of the bad men run / But I don't own a single gun / I don't have a sweetheart yet / But if I did I'd break my neck / To please her, make her want to stay, in my arms, she'd rest / But I don't have a sweetheart yet / Things I knew when I was young / Some were true and some were wrong / And one day, I pray, I'll be more than my father's son / But I don't own a single gun

(The irony here being that Jason does own a gun but thinking mor along the lines of when he’s still a small Robin)

Nice music selection! I’m more of the instrumental type myself. Soundtracks, orchestral, ambient music and low-fi mixes. I’m an introvert so I tend to like non-intrusive things to help me immerse myself in my own creative thoughts. I recommend to listen to Astor Piazzola: libertango orchestral music on youtube. Tango without lyrics is amazing.

So technically Jason still owns land in canon that no one knows about? Good to know, it should be used more in fics.

#asks

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celestial-citrus · 2 years

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ok so that sounds totally rad but unfortunately even though I love viddy games I am terrible at all of them and ive heard hk is SUPER hard so I'd probs die too much to get to the cool story 😂

ouuughh yea it's pretty hard. people who do no-hit or no death runs terrify me. i dont think im ever gonna try steel soul. (steel soul is like hardcore mode, one life permadeath deal)

well, any other lore i can think of is: before she went into her deep sleep, one of the three "dreamers" i mentioned before said she would only do it if he gave her a child, so PK and her had the one character hornet together. (she's the pointy one with the pinkish red cloak) so she's half sibs with ghost (the tiny dude you play as) and the hollow knight (the really tall pointy one).

there's another character you run into every so often named quirrel. he's very inquisitive and friendly, but he's still skilled with a nail. (nails are the weapons most of the bugs seem to use, you get to upgrade yours throughout the game.) he was the apprentice to one of the other dreamers monomon she was like a knowledge keeper of sorts. he wandered out of the kingdom and lost his memory (as all bugs do apparently when they leave hallownest) and he came back later and you meet him.

my favorite place in the whole game is the city of tears, the music and the whole vibe is so melancholy and sad? like that's a huge reason i love the game, the worlds already over and everything is empty and gone. you only see and hear echoes of what used to be. :\ the city is raining perpetually and it's a deep shade of blue, the architecture is pretty too.

i like to stand in front of the statue and listen. it's very peaceful. i have the top pic as my lock screen.

bro idk the game gets me so emotional, it like touches a specific part of my soul. it's beautiful. (id highly suggest listening to the whole soundtrack on spotify or whatever platform you use. ive joked w myself if my story ever got some sort of adaption id like christopher larkin to score it. lolol as if)

one part of the game i haven't really done is the pantheon of hallownest, it's like... you fight the bosses you already have again but... worse. and harder. also the path of pain, it's a really difficult platforming uh, puzzle/map i guess. you get a special cutscene when you complete it. i haven't gotten far at all in it. 🥲 i really want to complete it though.

the bosses are pretty difficult, but once you really get the pattern down pat and get a set of charms you like to work with, it's a lot more tolerable. speaking of that, you can acquire these things called charms which give/boost certiain abilities. you have a limited amount of "charm notches" to fill. i think the ones i like best are quickslash (well, makes your nail quicker), weaversong (gives you little weaver ((spider)) buddies who can damage enemies for you, and sharp shadow. (you gain the ability to dash through things, and equipping this charm makes it so you can damage them too.)

my first round playing HK was a disaster because i have never really played these kind of platform-y boss fight games before. just getting out of the first tiny area in the flipping game was a chore. but then i worked my way up and have beaten one of the hardest bosses twice, so thats... good. i suppose..

oh another thing i should mention if you have options in the game for different endings, depending on the things you pick up, enemies you defeat, and how you fight HK at the 'end' of the game. there's technically like, six endings in total? like you can either kill HK and absorb the infection yourself, enter HK's mind and kill the radiance, have hornet assist you in killing HK and getting you both sealed inside- etc etc.

one sad little part of the game is on one area, the crystal caverns, you meet this little miner bug myla. she sings to herself while she mines, but visiting her over time as the game goes you can see her getting taken over by the infection until eventually at one point she attacks you and you have to kill her :(

one challenge you can do is this pkace called the colosseum of fools. its has 3,,, uhh,, levels i guess you can do. i've only done the first 2, ive always gotten overwhelmed right before the end of the third one. you get geo (hallownest's currency) and some other rewards, like a piece of pale ore you need to upgrade your nail. it's basically wave of enemies and the terrain changes to make things difficult, like having you jump on platforms and putting spikes on the ground.

anywho, a really good person to watch on youtube is mossbag, he does a lot of lore videos, and there's a mod called hollow knight randomizer which is reallllyy funny to me. i'm probably forgetting a lot too lololol

thanks for asking me about stuff 🥺💗

#ask #hk

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grandpasnailgroovy · 1 year

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Personal challenge: don’t include theatre kid music in Spotify rewind

I’ve had Spotify since 2019 and for the past three years it’s all been theatre kid music at the top I NEED to change that

I have a theatre kid phase for a couple of months every six months or so and sometimes up to 4 times a year or the whole year.

Yes. I listened to theatres kid music all this weekend and I loved it but NO. I will persevere.

This year will different. This year I have been listening to NON musical music. I’ve been using my game. Listening to lots of new songs. Making new playlists. Appreciating new artists.

Bo en

I have a bo en playlist to keep me from musicals.

Kkb

Unfortunately I have left kkb in the dust I’m gonna try to listen to them again because I do genuinely love their music

Doja cat

She is popular for a reason! I like her music!

Tmnt soundtrack

… not proud

Mother mother

Trying to get into them

#bo en #doja cat #mother mother #kkb #Spotify #theatre kid #this post is lighthearted #Spotify rewind #text post

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williamwalkerdesign · 2 years

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September 16th, 2022

Day six of being sick, and day four of missing class/work. I gave a super long rant and entry yesterday, so I don’t need to worry about one today right? I do? Well fuck me sideways then.

Forgive my language, it’s less sincere than it initially may seem. I actually enjoyed exploring that thought train I was rolling along the past couple of days. It helped define it a bit more by writing everything out, but I’m still not sure if I’m wasting my time on that kind of thinking; at least in terms of this project and it’s wants for me. I’m gonna grab some feedback, but for now I will sideline that line of questioning and thinking.

I wouldn’t mind honing in on something equally abstract and interesting, but it’s hard to be unique with something like this. I feel like there’s an adage somewhere akin to, “all design is just creative ways of stealing someone else’s work.” I TRY not to do so, but I suppose that’s where we skate along the edges of inspiration vs. plagiarism.

I didn't listen to a ton of music today either, probably approximately 3 hours worth, with most of that time being spent driving around for various errands and missed appointments. I enjoy listening to 89.3 (The Current) when I’m driving around, not just as white noise but also because it introduces me to a lot of new bands to check out. I do need to get a better system in place for getting those bands though. I swear one of these days good music will kill me, as I normally need to quickly press the Shazam button on my phone so I don’t lose it.

Off topic again; I was going to make a point that I am considering how much my being ill has affected the consumption of music I’ve been doing lately. Consumption in general definitely shifts with the mood, but I hadn’t considered before what being sick was doing to that process. I enjoy music as a way to wake up, get pumped, stay motivated: just all manner of things, and feeling better is definitely part of that spectrum. I think it has to do with how I consume music though. I’m generally an active singer with songs, even ones I don’t know very well, so I think my throat hurting has been putting me off from enjoying it as much, hence the lack of music recently in favor of things I don’t have to engage as much with, like video game soundtracks, or debate videos.

And on that note I’ll stop for today, since I just had another thought to consider. All in good time though; I may as well take advantage where I can and spread this out as much as possible.

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boopliette · 6 years

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i’d love to say i had a great reason for drawing enjolras holding a chicken but really i can’t explain myself At All

bonus bc i imagined it and it made me laugh for ten minutes::

#i just #i dont even know why i drew it like has enjolras ever met a chicken would he want to #im not even gonna tag this properly it doesnt Deserve It #i just couldnt let it go after i doodled it sleep deprived at 3am listening to folk music #it was a whole thing #enjolras #theres got to be a joke about enjolras and chicks here #iDK im once again sleep deprived but the folk music is nowhere to be found #my soundtrack is the mbmbam clips on youtube #i dont have time to listen to a full episode but somehow i have the time to listen fo six hours of clips #bc thats maths #anyway enjoy thischicken #if you can think of a reason this would happen let me know #shit grantaires also here #grantaire #my art #my doods #my overwhelming need to call the chicken patria #fan art #how is this like #the only fanart ive done where grantaires scar is actually noticeable #actually u might be able to see it in the night club but #its never Noticeable #but this dUMB CHICKEN DOODLE #HAS ME DDAWING HIS HAIR RIGHT FIRST TIME AND HIS DUMB DETAILS #cmon emily pull yourself together

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plasticferal · 3 years

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chasing highs | rafe cameron.

summary: you’re his lover, and he’s your brother’s best friend. both the secrecy and his addiction cause tension in your hidden relationship.

authors note: 2.4k words. explicit language, mentions substance abuse, angst and weaponry.

soundtrack: sober, childish gambino.

you struggle to support the grocery bags that are filled to the brim, and tearing at the seams. you use your elbow to pry the door open with a struggle and quickly dump the brown bags on the counter. you groan at the sight, the house is in disarray. empty glasses, crushed cans and powder residue scatter across the wooden table. the smell of dry grass that’s been tracked along the floors and a contrasting clean linen fills the small space.

“at least he did the washing,” you run the back of your hand across your forehead, looking around with a fatigued sigh. you begin unpacking everything into cupboards. your arrangement is disturbed by a banging at the door that rattles the wall, it seems desperate. you turn around to pull the handle, revealing rafe. you roll your eyes, murmuring an acknowledgement before leaving the door open for him to let himself in. “country club,”

he steps inside, looking around and acting neurotic. “only barry calls me that,” he counters. “well barry’s not here, so,” you fade off the last part of your sentence, not entirely being interested in conversation. you strain your toes to place a cereal box on the top shelf. rafe silently stands behind you, his chest pressed to your shoulder as he takes it from your hand to put it away, being able to reach with ease. you feel his warm hand crawl around the side of your hip. you grip the edge of the counter that’s underneath you, feeling his breath trickle down your neck.

“i missed you, you know?” he spoke softly. he smelt like faded cologne and dirt, an overall musky scent. it was oddly comforting.

you shrug him off and turn back to pull vegetables from the bags, excusing his body to reach the fridge. he follows your every action.

“did i do something?” he looks confused by your dismissive nature, and sudden sharp tone.

“wanna tell me what you’re here for?” you place the packaged food in the cold drawers of the fridge, slamming them closed a little more dramatically than intended. you know his answer, you just need to reassure yourself.

“i just, i just need a little bit-” he speaks apprehensively. you quickly turn around to look at him, your eyes are heavy and filled with dejection. you lick your lips and bob your head with thought, letting out a bitter chuckle.

“he’s all out,” you look up at him, “house is empty.” and once again, you go back to the groceries. rafe stands still for a moment, rubbing his knuckles. you can hear the friction of his skin.

“i know he’s got something in here, y/n,” he looks around, and you can hear the shake in his vowels. his heavy steps take over the creaking floor, a cabinet slamming, making you jump slightly.

“did you not hear me, or are you not listening? there’s nothing in here,” you follow the noise to catch the sight of rafe rummaging through any door that opens. you to reach his shoulder to pull him away from a brown t.v unit, knowing he won’t give up until he’s been physically stopped. the moment you reach forward he pushes your hand away, grunting and bypassing you.

“are you fucking serious?” shock seeping through. he freezes, hands digging through his hair as he bounces back and forth between his feet. he releases air from his nose in frustration, taking a step closer to you.

“i’m sorry, i, i just need you to help me out,” he lends a hand forward in hopes of taking you into his arms, but you step back.

“help you feed the drug addiction that my brother started?”

“god, not right now,” he shakes his head, shutting his eyes tight and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“help you come to realisation that you have a problem?” you continue, knowing that it’s only getting to under his skin more.

“i don’t have a fucking problem!” he screams. not a yell. a scream with chest, an angry reaction. a reaction you could handle from your brother, arguments often occurring in the house. but not from rafe. not from the man you go out of your way to protect and love.

“get out.” your voice is stern and your eyes are stinging. his tension quickly diminishes.

“i didn’t mean- i didn’t mean to yell, alright?” he bites his words back, fighting that belligerent tone that previously lashed out.

“i’m not repeating myself,” you shake your head, looking to the door.

“sweetheart, i’m sorry. i’m sorry, okay? i’m just on edge,” he rambles on his justification but it only seems to dig himself a deeper hole.

“yeah, that’s the only reason you’re here,” you mumble to yourself, looking at your hands while you squeeze the tips of your fingers. a distraction.

“what’s wrong with you today? talk to me,” he progresses a step closer, careful not to approach too fast, knowing you’d turn away.

“rafe, i know you have a lot going on but god, i don’t want you to pretend to want me if you care more about chasing a high,” you finally spill how you feel, wanting to take it all back the second you do, not because you didn’t mean it, because you truly didn’t want the confrontation. you look up to see his face drop, mouth open a jar and eye’s grave.

“are you kidding me? you’re the only fucking person on this earth i care about,” he speaks with a bounce of a laugh, more out of shock and disbelief that he has to say it aloud.

“i know i have a problem, alright?” he hold his palms together and digs his fingers into his chest, the fixed intensity on his face. he licks his lips, rotating back and forth between his heels before pausing to take a deep breath. he tests the waters in stepping closer to you, and this time you let him. you allow him into your space, admittedly craving his touch. his hand cups around your upper arm, sliding down your skin before his index finger slips around the belt loop of your jeans. he pulls your lower half forward until you’re touching bodies, and his forehead rests against the crown of your head.

“i’m gonna try harder, i promise,” his voice is soft, and assertive. it’s difficult to feel indifferently about him. you want a reason to be mad, a reason to get him out of the house before you run into more trouble, but you know he’s being genuine. in that moment, there were no doubts or fears.

“okay,” your voice faint, letting yourself fully sink into his touch. you reach up to drape your hands over his shoulders, fingers playing with the dirty blond hair that falls messily past his ears.

“i love you, you know that right?” he speaks, mouth now hovering over your lips. you laugh sweetly, pecking the side of his face. “yeah, i do actually,” your arrogant response prompts a poke from him into your side and you push his bicep with a giggle.

“shit, i think i fell in love with you the first day we met,” he pulls your body back to him, swaying you both back and forth. he moves when the gears in his head are ticking, can never keep still. so you allow your body to dance around with him while he ponders.

“you’re lying” you roll your eyes, assuming he was over compensating from the heat you put on him a few minutes prior. “no, i’m not,” he breathes out a smile.

“do you remember that day?” you dip your eyebrow at him.

“of course i do,”

six months earlier.

you slip into that grey shirt that hangs barely past your thighs, causing the shorts underneath to disappear. the heat within the metal surrounded home was intensified by the midday sun, making you irritated and desperate for a cold drink. you grab a can of soda from a cooler, not being your preferred means of refreshment, but better than warm tap water.

as you wipe the corner of your mouth slightly, you simmer in the feeling of the icy feeling in your palm. your moment of serenity is quickly disturbed by the front door being pushed open harshly, making you freeze in your tracks. your first thought was that it would be barry, but upon realising it was a complete stranger, your next thought was to grab that gun barry keeps under the couch cushion.

“barry, i need-” the tall mystery man speaks with heavy breaths, not being aware of your presence.

“who the hell are you?” he sounds mad to be confused, and you’re almost amused by it. given you weren’t afraid of strangers coming and going from the place, it not being an unusual occurrence, typically they have courtesy to knock.

“who are you?” you respond, standing your ground comfortably. the tall male washes his gazes over your body slowly, but snaps out of it swiftly.

“ah, rafe, rafe cameron,” he speaks quick, almost as if he has something more important to say other than his name. you let it sink in for a while, being more than thrilled to waste the home invaders time as you sip your drink. the name sounded familiar, and judging from his attire, you put the pieces together.

“oh! country club, yeah i’ve heard a lot about you,” you chuckle to yourself, knowing barry and him have a love-hate relationship.

“what have you heard?” he probes, face now taut.

“that you have money. no wonder you hang around here so often,” you return that judgemental glance he pulled on you, noting the polo shirt, then back up to his face. his hair fell over it, and his features appeared almost too perfect. it was unnerving. “and yet i’ve never seen you here?” rafe responds, still lost at the interaction he’s enduring.

“you’re way better looking than i thought you’d be,” you try to mutter, but he’s engrossed in your exchange.

“pardon?” he nods his head forward. you smile densely, placing your drink down on the coffee table behind you then waving your hand toward the couch.

“i said take a seat, make yourself comfortable,” completely dismissing his question.

you’re seated on the sinking lounge, while he opts for the single armchair beside it. you’re able to see each other this way. he taps is fingers impatiently against the wooden armrests.

“are you like his girlfriend or something?” he strings together with scepticism. you bite your cheek with a chuckle.

“sister,” you assure. he nods slowly, giving a look that says, ‘my bad’ for getting that wrong.

“good to know,” the words were under his breath but you heard. and you’re sure he wanted you to.

“so did barry say he left something for me, or?” rafe rubs his thighs, shifting in his seat. it slipped your mind, his initial agenda for being there, but you quickly come back to earth. you huff, standing up silently to retrieve the bag that barry did in fact inform you was going to get picked up that day. you walk into the bedroom that has a curtain as a replacement for a door, reluctantly taking it into your hands.

re-entering the room, you throw it onto the table, falling back into your seat. rafe leaps toward it like it was his lifeline. you rolled your eyes, pulling your knees up to your body, hugging them.

“that shit’s gonna ruin your life,” you voice.

“yeah well,” he sniffs, tucking the white packet into his pocket.

“you can thank your brother when that happens,” he gives a hopeless response, with attitude. he stands from his seat, and you follow, making your way back over to the front door.

you wanted to respond, but you’d be getting yourself involved in a sensitive topic. rafe halts between the door frame, his tall figure blocking most of the natural sunlight. you stand in front of him, one hand on the handle prepared to close it behind him, and this time lock it. you’re gazing up at him, wondering why he’s blankly staring at you.

“what?” you question, toying with the handle, apprehensive of what he’ll respond with.

“you’re nothing like him, are you?” his voice is gentle, almost like he’s only speaking loud enough for himself to hear it. your eyes are locked and it’s becoming an overwhelming feeling. you break eye contact, looking past him. there’s a sense of sadness that takes over. having always been a juxtaposition to your sibling, but often being associated, mean’t that someone seeing past the stereotype was a pleasant change. you shake your head, indicating a clear no. he nods, understanding. the silence spoke volumes.

“good. you’re too pretty for that shit,” and with that, his back was turned and he was slipping a black helmet on, momentarily returning to a stranger.

present day.

"and i still believe that,” he brushes a loose strand of hair from your eye. “so pretty,”

you’re fascinated by him. by the way you can tell that stash he was losing himself over has left his thoughts, and for a moment you remember the connection you two have. how powerful it was when he was with you, entrenched in your company.

“i know you’re trying, rafe,” you whisper, and his grip tightens. how much you believed your own words was uncertain, but the hope seemed stronger than any doubt.

“you’re the only high i wanna chase,” he uses his thumb to lift your face to him before he trails his touch along your bottom lip, gently prying your mouth open. he leans down and attaches your lips, yourself pushing toward him to deepen the kiss. you feel him smile against your mouth before you cup his jaw lightly to seperate.

“if barry comes home and you’re all over me, he’s gonna put a bullet in your head,” you look into his eyes. they’re glistening and bright, a drastic difference to how dark they were when he first arrived.

“i’ll take my chances,” before wrapping his warm hand around the curve of your neck, pulling you into another kiss, lasting for what felt an eternity.

the body heat between you intensifies. rafe rolling his hips against you every now and then, urging a response from you, and though you’re aware of the risk of that front door flying open, you dig your nails into his shoulder blades. earning a desperate groan from rafe, you’re utterly intoxicated by his touch, becoming lost and unbothered by any risk or fear.

for a brief moment you understand what he feels when that substance runs through his veins and why he chases it. in your own way, you understand that high.

#who:#rafe cameron #drew starkey #tags:#obx #outer banks #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #obx imagine #outer banks imagine #barry outer banks

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