#this is honestly one of the most heartbreaking scenes i've ever watched

[gayofthefae]

Watching van scene reactions and confirming a single conclusion:

Everyone is rooting for Will. They're just not predicting him. I have yet to see a reaction in which they realized Will was about to confess or were listening to him confess and were sad about the idea. Always excited. As one is for a romantic trope. As one is for a love confession.

If you are fully confident that someone will not end up with who they love, then you are sad when they express their feelings because it is heartbreaking. But consistently, people are excited. Because, though they don't analyze it and only think about what they're watching as they're watching I do they wouldn't be able to answer you, as they are watching it, they're anticipating Will's confession, giddy at the painting.

No one is reacting to Will's love as a romantic tragedy. They're reacting to it as a romantic trope. Some are even, much like Finn himself, calling out to Mike to notice. Even if only on instinct, why would you want Mike to know if you didn't at least want him to reciprocate? If part of you didn't expect based on the trajectory of tropes that him finding out will lead to a happy ending for Will. What's the difference of him knowing if it isn't actionable? The answer is it is.

They're excited at Will's confession because they're excited about the idea of Mike knowing because they think hope that when he finds out, he'll do something about it.

And as an addendum, as I've speculated before: seldom do they comment on Mike during El's scenes, only ever lore and her independence, as is intended by the focus of her plotline, and in the case of Mike himself, the most I have heard is "ohhh, he wants to feel needed". They likely believe that Mike has feelings for El right now but that also doesn't bar them from believing that Mike and Will could end up together. That's how having an entire season left of a TV show works.

They are honestly not even rooting for a couple. At all. They are rooting for characters. If Mike says he wants to feel needed, they want him to feel needed. If Will says he wants Mike, they want him to have Mike. As I've said before, the general audience only want Mike and El together because MIKE told them it's what he wants. To quote a reaction to another show I recently watched "I'm rooting for [his] happiness, I just need to know what [he] wants so I know what to root for". That's it. It only becomes more than that if you became deeply, rigidly invested prior to this plotline. Otherwise, you'll trust what the characters tell you will make them happy and root for it. That trust in someone's word is how they set up the subversion, and that is how they'll break it back down.

Most people aren't pissed about love triangles unless they're pissed on behalf of either a character themself or the destruction of a character's arc to get there. Otherwise, if the characters say they're happy and are believable, then they're happy.

Edit: I have seen a bit more apprehension about Steve's confession, actually. Because Byler isn't a love triangle and emotionally they know it even if logically they don't yet.

[makeitastrength]

What are your top 5 Chenford scenes ever?

This might be the meanest question you've ever asked, because how am I supposed to take 100+ episodes and narrow it down to FIVE INDIVIDUAL SCENES??? It can't be done, so I'm including some honorable mentions here too.

Favorites

2x02

Lucy recording an audiobook for Tim is forever one of my favorites. It's so clear from this moment that he's always been worth the effort to her. The amount of thought and time and compassion that went into calling Isabel, recording an audiobook, and then giving it to him along with an explanation to help him see his learning style as a strength is just amazing! And you can see how stunned Tim is that Lucy would go to such lengths for him. It's pretty clear no one else has really ever done something like that for him before.

2x12

This is another scene that's just forever one of my favorites because we see the lengths that Tim will go to for Lucy as well. I mean, we saw that in 2x11 as we watched him search for her. But he says it himself: he's a show-you kind of guy. He says far more with actions than words. So in this scene, to see him open up to her and share such a vulnerable piece of his own trauma in the hopes that it will help her? The Tim Bradford of season 1 would never. And it's also the first time in the entire episode that we really see Lucy being vulnerable as well, showing that already, Tim is becoming one of her safe spaces.

4x09

Tim and Lucy have the best hugs, and I could just sit here staring at gifs of them all day (and let's be honest, I have). But the combination of Tim's vulnerability and the way he just sinks into Lucy and lets her hold him together makes this one of the best chenford hugs and one of my favorite scenes.

6x04

Once again, we have a chenford hug just absolutely wrecking me. But it's not just that. It's the way Tim is on a mission to get to Lucy. It's his soft voice and tender touches. It's the way she's just barely holding it together. The way her voice breaks as she asks what if she killed that guy. And then, of course, the way she just melts into his arms as he cradles her so gently.

6x09

I didn't think any hug would ever top 4x09, but I think this one just might. It says so much with so few words (though I'm glad there were words because it was important for Lucy to lay down that boundary first). From the worry in her eyes and her voice, to the way they cling to each other, to the way Tim just melts into her and closes his eyes and says "I am now," to the way Lucy tightens her grip and closes her eyes right after. No matter what happens, these two love each other so much and will forever be each other's safe space, and this hug depicts that so well.

Honorable Mentions

2x11

Because obviously this one will always make the list.

4x22

This scene really just has it all: humor, awkwardness, Lucy breaking Tim's brain, their first kiss (obviously), more hilarious awkwardness, and then Tim's broken brain again as he stands in the hallway in the aftermath. Every time I watch it, I go from laughing to flailing to laughing again. Tim's "I don't have anything" is one of my favorite lines ever. The poor guy is just so completely flustered. If it weren't for all of their amazing hugs, this one would be in my top 5.

5x01

I'm honestly not sure there's a gifset I've spent more time staring at than the ones of the airplane bathroom kiss. It's so fucking hot. Need I say more?

6x06

Honestly, I have to include the breakup on this list. For as much as I didn't want it to happen, and for as much as it hurt (and still hurts), it was just so incredibly well done. You have the emotional punch right from the beginning of Lucy pulling Tim into a hug, thinking she finally has him back by her side, while Tim already knows he's about to say goodbye (😭). You have the entire breakup itself, which is so completely in character and acted in just the most heartbreaking way possible. Lucy's pleading just shatters me. And even as they're breaking up, they're clinging to each other. Even now, just seeing a gif of this scene leaves me absolutely gutted every single time.

6x08

I don't know if it's because it's the most recent season so the scenes are more at the front of my mind or what, but season 6 is clearly well represented on this list. As angsty as it was, I really did enjoy it overall. And other than the breakup, I think this was the one other scene that had me actually in tears. Tim really did find the perfect way to acknowledge Lucy's birthday while respecting her boundaries, and seeing these two finally allow themselves to be sad just breaks my heart so much. It was so well acted. Plus, you know, Kojo!

[jakes3resin]

Well, it's still Friday for me so I thought I'd do a MOTA Fic Rec Friday!

The links take you to AO3, though I know some of these authors have cross posted their works here as well, so I'll try to link them later :)

Also, most of these are Clegan fics, sorry (they're the ones I reread the most, which was the criteria I used for this fic rec)

Moonlight Serenade by Anonymous

Listen folks, this is The Clegan A/B/O fic for me. I post about every new chapter. I adore every line and will happily discuss how I've become a Jamie Truther, while still hoping Gale gets off his ass and treats Bucky right. Bucky has so many secrets in this fic, and you'll be on the edge of your seat waiting to unravel them all. There's also so much to be said about Bucky's emotions and how he feels so so much, often to his own detriment, and how it's presented in this fic.

an image of disquietude by bruce_the_shark

This was actually I think the first MOTA fic I ever read. I'd been watching the show, but I hadn't yet joined the fandom, so to speak. It's outsider POV with Benny and Brady building off of each other watching the infamous baseball scene in the stalag. This fic made me look up who Brady was on tumblr, and it got me into the fandom. Highly recommend. The dynamics between the copilots and the Majors draws you in as each person has a different way of showing their fear and concern.

A Kiss with a Fist by Perpetual Motion

I won't lie I recommend every single thing written by this writer. If you haven't gone on a reading binge of their stuff, what is stopping you? This fic twists canon just a bit so it's Buck fighting the RAF guys not Curt. It's honestly a love letter from Buck to Bucky and his touch, for me it is at least. It's also where I fully drank the Kool Aid that Buck is feral and protective of Bucky.

Ghost of You by BeeMaya

I once described this fic as Crosby's version of the Les Mis song 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' because it's just as heartbreaking to me as that song. Harry being the last man to remember the light that used to exist on base now that the officer's club feels darkened, and when you're the last one all you see are ghosts and what once was. There's a profound sadness to telling stories about the departed even when they're good stories, even when you laughed once at those stories. It's sad because you miss them and know you can never go back.

don't take that sinner away from me by cloudystars

Another author I can't recommend enough. I love a Gale POV, and I love a Western AU. So if you're like me you'll love this fic. Gale is so tender with John in this as the pair of them try to piece themselves together after the traumas they both went through.

I'll stop there, I guess! Short but these fics are really so amazing! I love reading other people's fic recs, so I thought I'd list a few I adore 🧡

[unhingedscreaming]

Just finished I Saw the TV Glow, and I must say it has quickly become my favorite movie I've ever had the honor to watch.

There's so much beauty in it in so many different ways. It is a compassionate and raw perspective on transness and mental illness and feeling empty and nostalgia and isolation. Not only was the writing excellent my god the acting and the cinematography had me in tears. Some things I loved about the movie.

1. The writing (obviously)

The way this movie is a metaphor for so many different things that seem separate but are all intertwined is breathtaking. Something I found fascinating is at the end I didn't even really sit there trying to decide if it was all a psychotic break or it they really were from a tv show because it didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, it was still about being too afraid to be yourself. About holding it all in until you break. About life moving too fast but being too slow and monotonous. It was about fearing who you are and never taking the dive because it sounds crazy and you can't. It's about regret. It's about soulmates, about that on person who you never have to lie to. In the end, it would still be about those things whether or not there really was a tv show or not.

2. Cinematic Decisions

The filming decisions in this film made it what it was. One of the things I found fascinating was the lack of a true soundtrack. There wasnt particularly a lot of background noise excpet for chatter on the TV. All of the conversations and days are smothered in this thick heavy silence. The silence is so prominent it feels like its own character. The graininess and static making it feel like an actual tv show. The colors, the sickening neon glow from everywhere all the time. The unsteady camera and wide shots.

3. The relationships

While Maddy and Owen are amazing on their own, their relationship is the most compelling part of the story. Both feel alone and broken and like theres something wrong with themselves but not as much around each other. We see Owen isn't really talkative or open with his mom, that he barely says anything at all to her, but with Maddy almost immediately, he feels a connection to her. He seeks her out again and again. Owen doesn't have anything resembling a relationship with anyone else. He barely has dialogue with other characters. In the scene where his dad is holding him under the shower, he doesn't say a word, doesn't even look at him honestly. He says near the end he has a family, but we don't even see them. But with Maddy, he is close to her. They're intertwined, and around each other, they admit truths and secrets it doesnt feel like they've ever said outloud before. Even when Owen is freaked out by Maddy, even when he pushes her away and runs, there's till love there. It's not rejection as much as fear, and maddy doesn't blame him.

4. Parallels and Callbacks

One of the main cinematic choices I found myself noticing over and over again was the colors surrounding Maddy and Owen. in the first scene they sit across from each other as Owen leans against a oink vending machine and maddy a black. Owen has a pink sleeping bag and a pink shirt and a pink dress. Maddy is more often seen in black and white. Some great callbacks are the scene where we find out Owen doesn't have a heart, and Maddy reminds him of the bleavhers where he said he was afraid someone would dig up his insides and find there is nothing there. Seeing the chalk on the road clearly for the first time and it being the ghosts and "there's still time".

My personal favorite scene is the scene where Owen watches the finale, and then his dad comes in to find him with his head on the TV, screaming and crying. To me, this scene is very reminiscent of an attempt. He's finally been pushed to the edge and flung off of it. he's been holding everything in for so long and he can't take it anymore. Its heartbreaking in every way.

All in all this is a fantastic movie I highly recommend. All my love to the writers producers and directors.

[spevvy]

Although the fact I finally leapt on the CNCO train almost four weeks to the day after they officially split up is 100% on brand for my rotten luck, I'm very fortunate to have ADHD and so I have spent the last four weeks trying to cram 8 years' worth of fandom into my brain, with a level of success that has impressed even myself.

Things that especially give me extra dopamine about these doofuses:

. We don't have time for all the things I love about that idiot Vélez but I'll come back to him in a moment. In any case, let me tell you, he's such an amazing human being that I'm not 100% sure he's even real.

Stop it this instant please (don't you dare)

. Watching the official videos and still being constantly astounded at Rich's wardrobe. This is split into two levels of incredulity—a) "What the bleedin ell has he got on this time?!", and b) "There wasn't enough budget for a shirt for the poor sod again, eh?" (NB: There is rarely any budget for a shirt for Rich in any video, the poor love. Let Rich Be Warm™, FFS!) Both a) and b) are particularly evident in the Miami video, where the Rich's Shirt budget appeared to have been spent on a granny scarf. For his hair. Obvs. Because of course.

Legit son, what the fuck, did you lose a bet or something, lad?? 👀 It's like when Stewart Granger was in films in the 40s and 50s and he'd wear increasingly bonkers outfits scene after scene but he had absolutely zero confidence issues so he just owned everything like of COURSE he was gonna rock the hell out of it. Oh to have a thimbleful of Richard Camacho's self-confidence!!!!

. Every. Single. Time. I. See. Joel. Pimentel. De. León. The. Only. Thing. I. Can. Think. Is. "CABELLITO AZÚUUUUUULLLLL!!!!😭😭😭"

Never has the loss of a toy blue horse (is he just trying to not say My Little Pony, or???) ever been so heartbreaking to me 💔💔💔 Bless that small sweet boy, I just want to protect him, he takes up that one hidden sliver of maternal instinct I have lurking somewhere!! 🥹🥹🥹😭😭

. Chris' hair during the CNCO album era totally gives trans butch lesbian vibes. No I will not take questions on this. Yes I'm way more into it than I can possibly explain in polite company. Stop it, Christopher, I'm already bi. Totally here for my inadvertently genderfluid monarch.

I just want her to slam me into a wall and call me a good girl I don't know what to tell you.

. Erick Brian Colón is the visual representation of iron fist in velvet glove. He may have the face of a little angel and the biggest greenest most beautiful eyes since the invention of green - but that kid is brutal, folks!!! BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!!!

"Guess who just got MUUURRRDEEERRRRREEEDDD!"

. Two words. Lengua kiss.

Zab, sweetheart, you said it perfectly. You couldn't have improved upon it, thank you for blessing us with your lengua kisses, we are grateful.

. The amount of clever camera trickery and stage choreography involved in showing Chris actually dancing as little as possible. Before any of you come at me over this—I'm not saying Chris can't dance, I'm saying they cut around him and they do it consistently enough that it's hilariously obvious they're doing it. One of my favourite examples is in the Vevo Lite performance of Reggaetón Lento, where they just show his left elbow. Oh honey. (I marked it with a pointy finger to help you out)

I have a few theories about this but it's probably because his hips are so wiggly that if they showed them doing their thing on screen they couldn't have marketed the band to kids and that's a giant drop in revenue before they've even started. Not that I've made a study of his wiggly hips. Honestly.

. I have, however, made a very careful study of that lip-lick-into-lip-bite thing he does, and have come to the conclusion that HE is nsfw. Him. Himself. Alone. With no help. He just oozes it. Holy fudgeballs (probably). He's 100% that one guy who would openly flirt with an empty bag of crisps. "Hola, paquetito vacío de papas fritas, seguro que parece que ha pasado un tiempo desde que tuviste papas fritas dentro de ti..... te apetecería??!?!?" Seriously son, give it a rest, we're all pregnant now.

I swear to god you wouldn't be able to sit down for a fortnight. Fucking bloody hellfire. Is probably how it would be. OOOOFFFFFFFFF......

. I have literally lost count of how many times I've seen 4Ever in the last four weeks. I mean genuinely I cannot remember. I stopped counting at 12. There is no particular reason for this. I can't imagine anything that keeps my attention so solidly.

It's beautiful. I've been looking at this for five hours, now.

. "Que quiénes somos? YOU ALREADY KNOW!" My guys this has been my very problem with artists announcing themselves on their songs for at least the last decade, thank you for addressing the pointlessness of this activity but doing it anyway, I love you for it.

(Can he not? Does he ever take a day off??)

. Bringing back 90s boy band dancing with a level of aplomb I haven't witnessed since approximately 1998. And yes, I do remember. I was 15 in 1998, I was very much the target audience. Anyway, watch Mis Ojos Lloran Por Ti, it's the most authentically 90s thing I've seen since actual 90s boy band music videos.

White shirts AND white vests with black trousers in an abandoned building? ALL THEY NEED IS RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also the rap section of Mis Ojos Lloran Por Ti sounds EXACTLY like the rap section of Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre. It does. Go on, check for yourselves, I'm right about this.

. Tóxica. Just. Omg. Tóxica. It's beautiful. I dunno whose idea it was to do an acapella arrangement, but I hope they always hit the green light in traffic, because wow. What a song. (here it is if you're unfamiliar with CNCO, you've read this far, and you've never heard the song before. Even if you have, it's always worth another listen!)

Honestly it gives me proper goosebumps every single time, it's THE dopamine song for me, it just does all the things to my brain all at once. I was listening to all their songs on shuffle and all of a sudden I heard this one and I just stopped dead in my tracks like "holy SHIT what the hell....this is... this is stunning!" Like THAT was the moment I was like yep that's it folks this is MY band now, these are MY boys, they've got me for life whether they like it or not, I'm theirs, they're mine, that's how fangirls and musicians go, my guys (gender neutral).

. I am obviously not a native Spanish speaker nor am I 100% fluent in speaking, but after 4 weeks I've managed to learn a significant portion of their back catalogue and I am so goshdarned proud of myself. By comparison it's taken me about 5 years to learn most of Morat's back catalogue and I've been in the fandom since just before Balas Perdidas dropped.

Okay fine I have a whole different set of distractions with Morat (goddammit Monchi!!!!), we can't compare them, and it's not a "which band is better" thing at all cos I refuse to choose between any of my boys because they're MY BOYS. It's just nice from a personal viewpoint to feel like my Spanish level is now at a stage where I can pick up new lyrics to songs quite quickly!!! I feel like my Spanish has really improved in the last month and these doofuses are 100% to blame and I adore them for it and so many other things.

Suffice to say, I may be way too late to the party, but I think I get to be at least an honorary CNCOwner at this point. Without the smallest shred of doubt I know that I am retroactively CNCOwned, at any rate.

(ya tú sabes😉)

[wilhelmsbee]

Okay honestly? I'll just take you up on that offer because I'm obsessed with your edits in general, but if you ever feel like talking some more about that Wilhelm edit you did to the song Ribs by Lorde??? Would love that because that edit lives rent-free in my head! (no pressure though, I just like the idea of like... director's commentary or something for edits haha)

I HOPE EVERYONE IS READY FOR ME TO BE INSANELY DEEP ABOUT THIS EDIT OH MY GOD

preface: i talk ab why i chose each scene for the lyrics, then colouring/font, idk if this is the directors commentary you wanted but like this is how I think about all my edits

We're reeling through the midnight streets- initially, I actually wanted to start it on the this dream isn't feeling sweet line but it just didn't fit in instagrams 1-minute time frame ANYWAY This scene has always been the most painful to me. Wilhelm realises at this moment that he's truly, undeniably alone in his life. Everyone he trusts (or is supposed to trust) has left him, and he has nobody left to go to. He's alone, going through his own personal hell, finding out his only family cares more about public perception than him as a person. It's like the beginning of the worst spiral we see from Wilhelm. Its quite a literal scene-to-lyric moment, but also the we're part feels (to me) like him-as-well-as his public self. Crown Prince Wilhelm and Wille are such separate parts, and its all he has left.

And I've never felt more alone- The THERAPY SCENE! Specifically this is the I think it's better not knowing how it could feel scene, because that truly is the most heartbreaking viewpoint I've ever seen from a character. It was better not being in love because I couldn't miss it. He might be getting closer to the other boys in the secret society, as well as Felice, but he's not really breaking past the surface level with anyone. Not even Felice knows the depths of his pain, he keeps it all to himself. The loneliness crushes him, he wishes he didn't know how love felt. As far as he's concerned, he's never loving someone else again (true) and he's never going to be able to love Simon again (false). In this moment there's this feeling of emptiness. He has nothing he actually cares about, and he wishes that he never cared in the first place.

It feels so scary, getting old- He wasn't supposed to fill this role, giving a speech as the Crown Prince of Sweden about his brother's passing. Wilhelm's character (obviously) fundamentally switches after Erik's death. He used to be a lot sillier, more reckless and more willing to fight back against his parents. But now he's got every single eye on him, watching him. Put into an adult role at the age of sixteen, forced to carry the burden of spare his whole childhood, then suddenly forced to be the sole heir. Even if he had planned to maybe one day be the heir (which he didn't, judging by the he should be here instead of me comment) it wasn't supposed to happen until he was older and wiser. He stops acting like a kid because he can't be a kid anymore. The cuts between the frog/getting the frog/breaking the globe aimed to emphasise this. He's lost all connection to his brother, he's in a place he didn't expect to be until he was extremely old (if ever), and he's lost control of his own life.

We can talk it so good, we can make it so divine, we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time- I wanted to frame Simon in this as a sort of healthy distraction for Wilhelm. He was the only person in his life who actually looked out for him and cared. They're happy and they're smiling, all the clips are intimate even if there's someone else there. It highlights how they care. It's good, it's divine. It's what kept him happy after the hardest thing in his life (so far). In this edit, he desperately wants it back because he knows how much it helped. It was the only bright thing he had. The cutting to Wilhelm alone in s2 after how we wish it would be all the time just aims to really enforce that he wished it was still like that, wishing for someone who truly cared and loved him. It's all yearning, pining, wishing things were better. Every single clip is a clip in which Wilhelm has been pining over Simon. There's an ache he expresses that was just so, so important to this edit.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- Lots of clips of Wilhelm trying to process things. He's been forced to change his entire life, after all being a prince is a privilege, not a punishment. The 'dream' of being royal crushes him, despite the fact he can't ever voice it. Walking down the halls of his castle, sitting in his private boarding school therapy session with an actual therapist, being driven home in a private car from the party where he was filmed fighting. These luxuries juxtaposed with his actual circumstances hurt. He can't complain because he's got it best in the country, but it isn't a system designed for him, it doesn't want to help him, it wants to make him conform. It isn't fair, but he can't say that.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- He's forcing himself to try and fit the mould while also being himself, and all it causes is pain. He's actively fighting against the institution he was raised in simply by existing. The panic attack from being perceived holding Simon's hand. Deleting his contact after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.' Trying to play nice at the dinner table even though his whole life was crumbling around him and the institution was failing everyone even though nobody believed him. The panic attack/anxiety vomit from Simon going public, against Wilhelm's institution, knowing that he might not be able to protect him. He's got no control in any of these scenes, its a desperate fight against himself. He's a publicity risk to his own family if he is true to himself, and he's a risk to himself if he isn't.

And I've never felt more alone- Desperately trying to comfort himself when nobody else can (or wants to) comfort him. After the fight at the party all his family cared about was the PR response. When August said that Simon would take the fall for the drugs, all he cared about was getting Alexander back. During the uniform tailoring, all Jan-Olof cared about was tradition and making Simon as background as he could. When Wilhelm gave up meditating to soothe his anxiety, he was upset at his inability to calm down, despite the fact he's never been given an opportunity to be calm. Nobody really knows about his mental health struggles, he just has to fight through them and desperately try to self-soothe. Nobody else will comfort him after all.

It feels so scary getting old- Each of these scenes show Wilhelm being viewed as his role instead of being viewed as a person. He clearly struggles with being viewed as just the Crown Prince of Sweden, especially since that was never supposed to be his role, so of course it hurts when he's viewed as just a pawn in the Royal Family. Especially from people he loves. Yes, it was undeniably hard when he first became the Crown Prince, and it absolutely would've crushed him to know that when he had a panic attack he couldn't be alone. But these scenes are interlaced with him being viewed as a political pawn by Simon and his mother. People he loves, people he trusts. He's just a public statement to his mother, and he's just a human representation of the Crown to Simon (in these scenes not in general ofc). He's never going to be able to be his own person again, because he's got a country to run when he grows up and a public image to form between now and then.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- The lyrics are now getting more compounding, it's louder and it's closer. He's fighting to be heard, he's being ripped off of his desk, he's forcing down a panic attack because he needs to be happy for Simon. His emotions aren't allowed, he can't feel anything negative so he won't feel anything at all. Nothing in his life feels good anymore, so he's fighting the losing battle to just try to break even. Nobody would dream of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. He can't even voice that, though.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- Now he's reminiscing about when things were easier, but they weren't, really. Yes, the placard was there the night he first kissed Simon, but that was also the beginning of the horrific realisation he wasn't built for the world he is forced to live in. His mother says 'no more mistakes' and he already knows it means he has to leave Simon. When that doesn't work and it all falls out, he's left to try and clean his own image up by nailing the closet shut with every fibre of his being. His life wasn't better, he's grasping for anything to show him life will be okay again. Everything has crumbled and now he's got nothing, so he yearns for when he had something, even if it was just something to lose.

And I've never felt more alone- He is constantly left. Something that isn't brought up enough is how often he's just abandoned. He has no one to talk to, he's forced to work through his struggles alone because his existence is political and any sign of weakness being public could reflect badly on his family. He becomes the embodiment of the Prince he could never be. Walking to the lake and reminiscing about when he would be happy there. Being left alone by his brother, who didn't even reply to him asking to say hi to his mother and father, who he then never sees in person again. Then wearing his brother's jacket. He's alone, and all he does is pine for a time when he wasn't. All he wants to do is go back and do it all again, and he can't. But he also can't move forward, he doesn't want to, he doesn't know how.

It feels so scary- Only two scenes so I'll discuss 'em one by one: -At Erik's funeral, there's a more literal fear of getting old. I don't want to repeat myself more than I already have but obviously, that forced Wilhelm to grow up and be more mature, and act like a Crown Prince instead of just the Prince. More attention, less room for error. He's terrified of fucking it up, and there's nobody who can help him. -The breakup scene is more metaphorical. He has to grow up and figure out what he wants to do with his life, while also having to grow to understand what he actually has the ability to do with his life. He's not ready to do this because he wants things to be good and happy but it was ripped away from him. He can't just pretend everything is alright anymore, but the amount of maturing he needs to do seems impossible at this moment, especially knowing he was in love with a boy when he wasn't allowed to be. He tries to be both a Prince and Wilhelm and all it did was betray his boyfriend's trust.

getting old- Wilhelm shutting his computer and pressing his hands to his eyes. It's exhausting. He's exhausted. Constantly working to try and be who he's supposed to be as well as being himself and trying to navigate his emotions in a vulnerable state is just too much. He can't carry it all, so he just gives up for a moment. It all goes quiet, but not in a good way. When you're that overwhelmed, the lack of anything just leaves more room to spiral.

FONT CHOICES

Intro: literally my handwriting. I wanted this to feel personal and almost like a desperate written plea to go back to when it was good, and what's more personal than my own handwriting am I right!!!

First chorus loop: Magazine font, it's in pieces and it doesn't match. There's a sporadic chaos, like he's beginning to feel it but it isn't there yet. The text isn't fully opaque, it's in front of him. We're seeing it before he does in this context. Trying to reflect how the media knows things before he does, like his brothers death, the tape leaking, all that good stuff.

Second chorus loop: Big, Bold, Unavoidable! I rotobrushed Wilhelm in every scene so that the text could be intertwined with him. He can't escape the reality of his situation, he is getting crushed by these feelings. The song gets louder and more claustrophobic, the text is in the scenes with him. It haunts him, it's everywhere. When he closes the laptop and it all goes silent, its not relaxing, it just makes you anxious in a different way.

COLOURING

I actually chose the blues from the intro scene, mainly in the night sky bit of the frame. Also! All the happy Wilmon scenes have a higher saturation, though you can't tell because of how I did the colouring. It just results in them being a little bit brighter, because things were good then and I believe it should feel good then, too.

[stormyoceans]

monica im gonna need you to verbalise what the birthday scene did to you because i've been on the lookout for your reaction.. i know youre barely human rn so whenever you feel like it ofc 🥰

PETRI IT'S SO VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WANT TO KNOW MY REACTION TO THE MOST INSANE 20 MINUTES OF TELEVISION EVER PUT TO FILM BUT IM AFRAID I WON'T EVER BE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO PUT INTO WORDS THE AMOUNT OF PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH SADNESS DESPAIR DEVASTATION DESPONDENCY HEARTBREAK AND DIVINE WRATH I WENT THROUGH WATCHING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LIKE I WAS GENUINELY WHITE KNUCKLING MY WAY THROUGH IT JUST GNAWING ON FURNITURE TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM GOING ON A KILLING SPREE AND PETROL BOMBING THE GMMTV HEADQUARTERS

i also feel like most people came out of the episode bawling their eyes out for mork and wanting to talk about him, and of course im no different, but at the same time im literally genuinely truly sincerely honest to god fr not kidding when i tell you i could spend the rest of my life talking about day and how good (and underrated) of a character he is. the frankly insane amount of thoughts and feelings i have about him basically overshadowed everything else EXCEPT FOR THE MURDEROUS RAGE I FELT TOWARDS AUGUST. and like.. the thing i appreciate the most about p’aof’s characters is that they’re all incredibly complex and nuanced, there are no heroes and no villains in his stories (despite what night says), so i do think that august cares about day and didn’t have any malicious intent, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and august’s ones were wrapped up in so much ableism and selfishness since the very beginning, because he never really tried to understand day or think about what would actually make day happy, he just tried to lessen his own guilt for all the times he made day wait hours for him to show up, for all the matches he made them lose because his temper flared up, for all the forgotten birthdays, for not returning day’s feelings. i don’t want to hate august but the pity he feels for day and the guilt that stemmed from it ended up making day’s deepest fear come true and hurting him in ways august can’t even imagine AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

mork’s anger was so relatable because mork, just like the audience, knows. he’s the only one who knows, not just about day’s heartbreak, but also about august’s words cutting much deeper than a simple rejection. this is exacly the reason day isolated himself and begged his mom not to tell anyone about him losing his sight, and the worst part is that august said all that to mork as if day wasn’t even there, as if he was invisible. honestly i could write a whole other post just about this scene and mork’s anger and the tear running down mork’s cheek not for himself but for day and day taking mork’s hand to stop him from hurting august and mork LETTING HIM and the hug but im sure other people already did better than i ever could and this is already getting way too long so let’s just say that the mental health crisis intervention team that’s always in the room with me when i watch this show had their hands full trying to sedate me (and to think that this was the better outcome too like.. imagine if mork hadn't come back. imagine if august had just walked away leaving day alone with no explanation whatsoever and no way of getting home by himself. KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING AND TEARING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AND STABBING AND PUNCHING AND KICKING AND MURDERING)

this mess with august is also making me both appreciate and hurt for day and gee’s friendship because she’s the only person from day’s past who isn’t treating him any differently and who is genuinely trying to understand him, and day TRUSTED her, when he needed someone and mork wasn’t there she is the one he called out for, which is HUGE, but he still isn’t ready to fully open up to her and you can tell this is hurting gee a little because she just wants to be there for him, especially after not being able to for an entire year. unlike everyone else, tho, she respects day’s boundaries and is gonna wait for him to come to her when he’s ready, so it pains me to think that what happened with august might push day towards isolation again (like i know mork isn’t gonna let that happen, but i think day is gonna have a hard time hanging out with other people again, at least for a while) WHICH IS WHY I NEED GEE TO DO WHAT DAY STOPPED MORK FROM DOING AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO AUGUST

AND OKAY LIKE LET’S TALK ABOUT MORKDAY EVEN IF THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR TOO LONG MAKES ME WANT TO THROW MY WHOLE ASS SELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER AND ALSO AS WE’VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IM CLEARLY VERY BIASED TOWARDS DAY EVEN IF I DO TRY TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE BUT ALSO LISTEN. people out there blaming day for not falling at mork’s feet right away and hurting mork’s feelings by preferring august (which is not entirely true btw) can meet me in the pit and i don’t wanna get into this here since im just rambling and digressing from what you originally asked way too much, but the point is. people look at this as if emotions are completely clear cut and day can’t both have residual feelings for august and some blooming ones for mork that he isn’t fully aware of, and also everyone seems to forget that day can’t see and mork is his caretaker and he has no idea how much of mork being nice to him is mork actually liking him or mork just doing his job. all of this to say that MY BOY DAY WAS THRILLED AT THE IDEA OF SPENDING HIS BIRTHDAY WITH MORK OKAY??????? HE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED AND GIFTED MORK HIS FAVORITE PERFUME AFTER SPRAYING IT ON HIM (i could act like a 12 years old and make a joke about day spraying himself on mork since the name of the perfume is ‘day time’ but i won’t because im better than that) [no im not] AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EVER KNOWING SOMEONE NAMED AUGUST. so to hear mork say that he went there as a matchmaker probably was yet another thing that confused day so much about mork’s intentions (and it also had me on the floor recreating the collective wailing scene from midsommar but that’s a different matter)

and like don’t get me wrong, i have no doubts that letting day go with august was probably one of the hardest most painful things mork ever had to do and that the only reason he was actually able to go through with it is because he thought that august was where day’s happiness laid. it was also extremely painful to see mork alone in the background throughout the entire episode, unsure of where he stands in day’s life and feeling like he has no right to claim a place next to him, and day definitely had some part in making him feel like that but i also think that mork was so wrapped up in his own emotions (understandably so) that he didn’t really listen to all the times day was asking him to stay. "not a boss. let's just say im a friend", "why didn't you join us for dinner?", "so will you tell me now what you're going as if not my caretaker?". day may not be sure of his own feelings or how to define his relationship with mork, but he does know that mork belongs right next to him, and seeing day looking for mork and not finding him was just as painful as mork once again not being able to give the damn sunflower to day LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW MANY MORE SUNFLOWERS ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH BEFORE IT FINALLY GETS TO DAY STOP THIS MADNESS

AND DON’T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON THE SYMBOLISM OF IT ALL AND HOW - JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THEY BOTH WERE THE UNHAPPY PRINCE AND THE UNTAMED FOX IN NEED OF A FRIEND WHO WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND -THEY NOW BOTH ARE THE SUN AND THE SUNFLOWER CHASING THE LIGHT THAT MAKES IT VISIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN TRULY SEE EACH OTHER AND HOW ALL OF THIS TIES WITH THE KISS HAPPENING AS THE SUN RISES OR I WILL START MAKING RABIS-RIDDLED CREATURE NOISES

im very likely forgetting so many things i wanted to say and that are worth mentioning but this already enough of a mess and i’ve also reached that point of insanity where i need to go meditate in a sensory deprivation chamber to come down from the sheer manic energies that thinking about this show has me going on SO. let’s just leave it at that

IN CONCLUSION. RIP ME

[adam-raki]

[ I wanna have a quick rant about Adam (2009). Yes, there is a TL;DR at the end.

Now, I love this movie. It means a lot to me. It's probably very obvious due to the way that I've dedicated my whole account to it. Still, I think people tend to fundamentally misunderstand this movie - and I wanna talk about it.

Let me first say that it isn't perfect. A better movie would have, for example, employed an autistic actor (despite how much I adore Hugh Dancy's performance) and made various other changes that I will not be bothered to list. Is it a perfect representation of autism? No. But, is there a better representation out there? Personally, I don't think so. It's hard to define what 'good representation' is.

I've actually heard this reviewed as a 'bad' or even the 'worst' autism movie ever, which I think is an unworthy assessment.

A lot of criticism of this movie boils down to people just not relating to Adam's personal experience as an autistic adult - and that's fine. Having autism is such a diverse experience, and I can understand the frustration of the representation being almost exclusively cishet white men who like STEM (trust me, it infuriates me too). Still, some autistic people ARE like Adam, and that's also fine. Some of us don't find his character exaggerated at all (like me, who found the shot of his multiple boxes on cereal in the cupboard painfully relatable). A more varied set of autistic characters need to be seen in cinema... including ones like this.

But, the reason why I have a problem with this movie is also why I love it so much; it's uncomfortable. I haven't re-watched it in so long because it genuinely makes me upset. It's uncomfortable to watch Adam mistaken as a predator and watch the miscommunication between him and Beth (per the "were you excited?" scene and the fakeout where you think he's pestering her for sex, but he just wants to practice for his interview). It's uncomfortable to watch him continually shut down by the people around him. It's uncomfortable to watch him misunderstood, mistreated, and left on his own when his partner couldn't be bothered to understand him. It's raw and a little bit ugly.

Was this what the movie makers were going for? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it really was meant to be a 'pity the autistic' movie for neurotypicals, but I think that would be reducing it to something that it isn't. Yes some of the scenes are jarring to watch. It's less so romantic and comedic than it is awkward and kind of heartbreaking. But maybe that's the point.

Adam 2009 is very much a product of its time. I mean, it's roughly 15 years old now so I wouldn't have expected much. Yet still, it manages to be nuanced, showing the flaws in both sides of Adam's and Beth's relationship and how it ultimately doesn't work out (literally, almost exclusively because of Beth, not Adam).

I'm not telling you if you should or shouldn't like this movie. I happen to really dislike a lot of movies that are praised by viewers and critics. I don't even particuarly find this movie to be all that impressive in the narrative sense - but it hits hard. At least to me, it's the most authetic experience of my own struggles as someone on the spectrum. I hate how accurate it is, and I hate how much I see of myself in Adam sometimes. It's difficult to watch. And I love it.

TL;DR for this - Adam 2009 is flawed as a movie, but many of its facets are misinterpreted as bad representation unduly. I think it's supposed to feel awkward and uncomfortable. Some of us on the spectrum relate to that and good representation can't possibly cover every single autistic experience.

Anyway - if anyone has thoughts on this, I would love to hear them! You don't have to agree with me. Just be nice (or I'll be upset). ]

[mamadoc]

1, 4 (Snowed In), 10, 26, 36, 37

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

My two long multi-chapters have taken most of my writing time (and I love them), but I actually really love the first series I ever wrote, *Sense* You Know Me So Well. The second chapter of this series and the second chapter of its sequel are the two that I am most proud of. They just feel very authentic and have deep feelings.

4. What detail in Snowed In are you really proud of?

Geeeez. I had to think about this one for a while. I think it's probably the action scene in chapter 9 The Rescue. I've watched a lot of action on The Rookie and other shows, but it's definitely not my comfort zone. It took me a long time to think out what would happen and put words to it, so I'm pretty pleased that when I read it now, it seems like something legitimate and not an awful series of awkward ninja moves. Hahaha.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Excellent question. I started writing because I had dreams or daydreams of 'what if's that turned into stories in my mind. I honestly never thought that I would ever write creatively. It's a brand-new endeavor for me, but it's been so fulfilling for me and has given me an escape from real life.

I still haven't felt confident enough in my writing to tackle the very first story idea that I had. It's all outlined with some parts written out, but there's a lot of heartbreak and angst in the beginning of the story, and I haven't written much of that into my stories to date. Perhaps one day when I finish my long multi-chapters I'll get back to that.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Excellent question. I started writing because I had dreams or daydreams of 'what if's that turned into stories in my mind. I honestly never thought that I would ever write creatively. It's a brand-new endeavor for me, but it's been so fulfilling for me and has given me an escape from real life.

I still haven't felt confident enough in my writing to tackle the very first story idea that I had. It's all outlined with some parts written out, but there's a lot of heartbreak and angst in the beginning of the story, and I haven't written much of that into my stories to date. Perhaps one day when I finish my long multi-chapters I'll get back to that.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

I feel like I'm more of a dialogue writer. I think that matches my personality. I'm a doer; I don't sit and do nothing or sit and think for long periods of time. Not to say that's bad. I just like to stay busy, and I feel like a dialogue only fic matches that.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

100%!! I have to see it all play out in my mind before I can write it. I feel like that helps me keep the characters in my stories in character. I read like that, too, so I've never been a very fast reader. But it's what makes fanfiction so enjoyable. I'm already familiar with all the expressions and mannerisms of the characters, so it can play out in my head very easily.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

I really love the story in chapter 2 of my *Sense* You Know Me So Well, Too series. Tim and Lucy are in the middle of the pining/not talking stage when Tim's dad dies. He doesn't deal with it well, and Lucy is the only one that can get through to him.

Thanks so much!

[mikuni14]

PitBabe - Ep 9

I feel deceived and tricked by this series from the very beginning, from the first trailer lol And I have no idea if this is an intentional effect or it just happened by accident 😄 These are, of course, just my feelings.

I mean, even the promotion of this series suggested something completely different than what is in the series. The CharlieBabe relationship dynamic is COMPLETELY not my style and if I had known about it beforehand, I would never have even started this show.

The series also decided to hire Nut, of all the actors 😍, who made one of the main antagonists of the series one of the most interesting and compelling characters. In addition, they developed this character in such a way that he make me feel sympathetic about him, that is, his love was obvious from the beginning and narratively more interesting and poignant. And then they decided that this character, played in such a perfect way, commits a very realistic, horrific SA. You know, after the entire series when we watched how Way is obsessively in love and completely unable to cope with the fact that Babe is actually slipping away for the first time in his life. So many people, me included, liked Way, or at least found him very interesting. Even those who hated him still talked about him, because he's just such a good character. And then this happened. And people still talk about him and condmen him but like... it's different? So I wonder, is this an intentional effect? To make Way like this? I don't know, but it's VERY interesting. The funniest thing is that the scene of the breakdown of the Way/Babe relationship had so much more emotion and despair than any previous scene of Charlie and Babe fighting, not to mention Babe's heartbreaking scene of literal mourning over the loss of Way's friendship. Babe also grieves more now than after any Charlie's "betrayal". Again: is this the intended effect? 🤷‍♀️

For me, Way, when I look at him objectively, is the worst. This is the type of guy who loves someone, suffers, but does nothing to win the loved one, and his method so far has been to isolate his beloved, I fucking hate such incel types. But the series wrote this role so well and hired such a great actor that, to my horror, after this terrible scene (which was VERY GOOD btw, the horror was not in violence but in how quiet and still it all was and in Babe's face), besides the obvious thoughts in my head: "there is no fucking excuse for what he did", there was also the whole essay "why did Way do it, what led to this scene." There is no excuse for SA, ever. PERIOD. And at the same time, I know perfectly well where it all came from. Again: was this an intended effect? To understand Way? Idk, it's just all crazy, I feel wierdly manipulated, don't ask me why 🤡

How did it happen, when did it happen, that Way and Kenta and their pathetic way of dealing with their trauma and abuse, with their PsychoDad is the most interesting aspect of this series for me? I won't lie when I say that the whole situation with the Father (also a very charismatic character), dependence on him and the toxic relationship between him and Way and Kenta are the most interesting for me and honestly at the moment, I'm watching this series just for that 🤡

(in terms of romance, this series is also wild territory for me, I've already shipped Way with Babe, Way with Pete, Pete with Kenta, Kenta with Kim, Kenta with Way, Babe with Kim and even Winner with Kim - yeah I know 😩 and even, hehe, some forbidden ships appeared in my head that I won't mention here 🤭)

Of course, the series will give Way a chance to atone for what he did, and probably even Babe will forgive him. I mean, I would never forgive anyone for doing something like this, I can't imagine anyone sane doing it, but I predict that Way will "help" a noble cause to save children, redeem his sins, reconcile with Babe, get together with Pete and everything will end well 🤷‍♀️

I also would like to mention, that as an Omegaverse enjoyer, every time the word "mama" comes up in Charlie's conversations with Babe, I want to 🤮

Cherry Magic is the most adorable, sweetest series I'm watching right now. The Sign is the best, most interesting series I'm watching right now. Twins is the most frustrating series I'm watching right now. And PitBabe is the weirdest series I'm watching right now 😆 In the sense that everything in it is turned upside down for me and I have the strangest reactions after every episode. My emotions and reactions are all over the place. I couldn't care less about the main couple if I tried. And villains, morally gray characters, are somehow the most interesting and evoke some weirdest emotions and response in me. Idk, it's just crazy 🤡👻

[samasmith23]

The Retconning of Aunt May's death from Amazing Spider-Man #400... aka, screw John Byrne!

Wanna know something else we can criticize John Byrne for aside from his general creepiness and bigotry? He undid Aunt May’s death in the beautifully written Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #400, "The Gift," aka one of the best stories to come out of the entire infamous Clone Saga era.

Like... when Linkara reviewed the Web of Death storyline, one particular complaint he brought up was how all of the all the beautiful & emotional moments between Peter Parker and comatose Aunt May were severely undermined in hindsight due to the later retcon that this wasn't actually May Parker, but instead an highly-skilled actress whom Norman Osborn replaced Aunt May with after her stroke and made resemble Peter's aunt through cloning technology.

And the person who was responsible for this controversial retcon? None other than John Byrne!

Byrne apparently refused to even initiate his divisive 1999 Chapter One and The Next Chapter reboots of the Spider-Man titles unless he was allowed to utilize Aunt May as a member of Peter's supporting cast. Consequently, this meant completely retconning Aunt May's lovely and tragic send-off by J.M. DeMatteis & Mark Bagley in ASM #400, even though that issue was highly regarded and celebrated by even the most hardened detractors of The Clone Saga era as a whole.

And you know what made the retconning of Aunt May's death even more stupid? It directly contradicted Norman Osborn's own recounting of The Clone Saga from his perspective in The Osborn Journal one-shot after he was revealed to be the true mastermind behind the whole saga. Writer & editor Glenn Greenberg specifically made sure to include these passages from Norman's private journals:

-"And as luck would have it, the clone -- Reilly -- learned of May Parker's stroke and returned to New York to be near her during her final days. This saved me the trouble of concocting some elaborate scheme to lure him back to the city."

-"Then the old woman finally died, delivering a major emotional blow to Parker and his wife. My only regret is that I was NOT the cause."

Yup, Greenberg wanted to make sure that DeMatteis' brilliant work from ASM #400 wouldn't be undone by having Norman himself state in his private journals that May's death was strictly due to natural causes instead of another part of his behind-the-scene's manipulations. Which makes sense considering that the entire issue was dedicated to Peter & Aunt May's final days together as she revealed to her nephew that she had always known he was Spider-Man and was deeply proud of him before passing away in her bed right besides Peter, Mary Jane & Aunt Anna, with Peter's final words to his surrogate mother-figure being him quoting his favorite childhood novel Peter Pan to her, telling Aunt May:

"Let go. Fly. 'Second to the right... and straight on until morning.'"

Its honestly one of the most simultaneously heartbreaking & beautiful scenes that I've personally ever read in a comic. The silent panels of Ben Reilly crying to himself on the roof of the house, unable to be by his Aunt's side during her final moments since he's only a clone of her nephew, especially tug at my heartstrings (poor Benjy)! And its an issue that resonates with me even more deeply today than back when I initially read it a few years ago, since I now know what it feels like to lose a dearly beloved relative, with both my paternal grandmother (Nana) and maternal grandfather (Paps) having since passed away.

But then John Byrne decided in his infinite wisdom to screw it all up, ignoring all of that emotional weight and feelings of down-to-Earth loss by not only revealing that the Aunt May Peter watched die was actually just a random actress whom Norman Osborn "genetically modified via the Jackal’s cloning technology" (which again… makes ZERO sense), but that Osborn apparently now lied in his own personal diaries or something?

So yeah, the resurrection of Aunt May by John Byrne during the Spider-Man: The Gathering of Five/The Final Chapter arcs is easily one of the most insulting retcons that I've ever encountered since it spits in the face of one of the most beautifully written single-issues that I've personally ever read (both because of how it personally resonates with me as someone who's lost two grandparents, and because is J.M. DeMatteis is among my Top 5 favorite comic book writers).

But trust me, this is the LEAST of John Byrne's problems, which fellow comic creator Ramon Villalobos made an excellent thread discussing in detail if you want further information:

[moobell55]

~Evajacks is literally the album Lover by Taylor Swift~

Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince- “Now I’m feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress, running through rose thorns.” Every time Eva has run when in danger it’s always leas her to the safety of Jacks.

And the whole “You pay stupid games, you win stupid prizes.” That’s 100% something Jacks would say and honestly shows his attitude to most people expect for Evangeline.

“Voted Most likely to run away with you,” both ditched Lala and Castor for some cuddles in The Hollow.

Lover-“ My hearts been burrowed and yours has been blue. All’s well that ends well to end up with you” LITERALLY THEM

The Archer-It’s Jacks view of himself in my opinion. Like “All of my heroes die all alone, help me hold onto you.” It’s him trying to give Eva a better future by going back in time and changing the past because he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore.

Not to mention “Cause all of my enemies started out friends.” It’s Eva realizing she has almost no one she can trust in the North and wanting Jacks to be someone she can trust wholly and truly.

"I've been the Archer, I've been the prey," Jacks is the mythical archer who killed his first Fox, and I believe in ACFTL Apollo is probably trying to hunt him down to keep him from Eva.

Cruel summer-“Devils roll the dice, Angels roll their eyes,” Eva constantly describes Jacks as looking like an Angel despite quite literally being the devil.

“It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got,” This describes Jacks wanna be Emo faze with the Blue hair.

“And if I bleed you’ll be the last one to know.” Castor killed Eva with all the Valor's watching, Jacks was the only one who tried saving her, I believe he felt her pain through their shared bond. He was the first one to know.

“I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you,” listen they’re definitely true loves, I think Jacks probably knows or is becoming aware of it. I think he’s going to keep it a secret if he thinks she’s doesn’t want him (She definitely does), he’ll do anything to protect her, even from himself.

“I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard.” It’s the Stone scene in The Hollow, Eva thinks they’re feeling everything because of the Mirth Stone. I believe Jacks knows that not true and thinks she doesn’t want him. She brushes off his feeling and he grows upset to the point of tears, feeling as if he’s ruined everything because she doesn’t want him or won’t admit it because he’s a fate.

Ps. This might need a bunch of editing, currently writing this on the bus home from my Hockey match also tell me your favorite Taylor Swift song

[avemstella]

so that archon quest, huh. Would be absolutely thrilled to hear what u have to say about fontaine act V :] i love all your takes on furina & neuvillette & fontaine as a whole, and of course childe [pretty much an honorary fontanian with how he unintentionally got wrapped up in everything whoops]

Oh boy, I have so many thoughts. To start with some non-spoilerly stuff: I loved it so much. I'm not sure if I'll say it's my favorite Archon Quest yet (I think I would have to go through some of the older ones), but I think it's safe to say Fontaine overall as an arc is my favorite. Even its weakest part (the prison stuff, tbh it was a pacing issue) was still really solid and the ending, while not perfect, really landed. Genshin continued the trend from Sumeru of having the playable characters really take the stage and god there were some great standouts (Navia/Neuvi/Furina to name my favs, but I also loved my fatui and there really isn't anyone I've disliked). And well, the quest (and Furina's chara quest) made me cry like a baby, so that's a win.

Tbh, I think my biggest issue, wasn't even really an issue with the story but just a case of I had a very clear idea of what I wanted out of it (the woes of writing speculative fic pfft) and when it wasn't that I'm like "awww darn". Thats on me, and I genuinely really loved what we got, but it do be like that sometimes haha.

Spoilers below, oh boy (also my Furina fic spoilers too lol).

Eldritch abomination Furina I'll mourn u forever. I can't complain because Furina splitting herself in two to go fuck u to the heavens is such a boss ass move I can't haha. Okay, but I will say, even if I'm probably the only one, I do wish they brought some Remuria stuff up in the main quest. They had the perfect set up with Ajax being there with his Greek myth references and just ahhhh, one can hope they do something with it later. But yes, just know it's my silly headcanon that Focalors just lied about being an Oceanid to Neuvi and is one of King Remus's fucked up Primordial Sea experiments that maybe caused the Abyss rift at the fall of Remuria.

But yes, Furina, Furina, I'm crying. She really destroyed the girl failure accusations in the most glorious way possible. She literally didn't fail once (either of her), she plotted out a plan to trick the heavens, give back what was stolen, and save her people and she did it perfectly. As you're probably well aware, I'm a big fuck u Celestia gal, so it was just so satisfying to see her just obliterate the throne (even when I was crying haha). And honestly, super relevant to the state of the real world, but her giving back sovereignty to Neuvi in my mind is a very clear decolonization metaphor. Ages past descenders came to Teyvat, killed the dragons and created their own order, and now Focalors is returning that power back to said dragon (or well, the dragon's heir, it's a bit vague if Neuvi's literally the old dragon's soul reincarnated or just the body).

The entire scene between Neuvi and Focalors was great, though I will admit I have one issue with it (and even then I go back and forth on it haha). Neuvi in that scene doesn't have a big attachment to Focalors. What I mean is that ultimately Neuvi only ever knew Furina (which side note I'll get into this next, but I do view them as the same person, but still), and with Focalors' 'death' he's not technically losing anything, the person he's sad over will still be there. Like don't get me wrong, he's very empathetic and can be sad over this person who is dying for them, but I feel like it could have been even more heartbreaking if he had met Furina/Focalors before the split, or he had interacted with Focalors somehow in the past, and so in this moment he wasn't just watching Furina's sacrifice, but the sacrifice of someone he shares memories with. But that's me being picky haha and not really a critique on the writing.

But yes, Furina! Focalors! As I previewed before, I'm going to come out swinging with a possibly hot take. They are, and always were the same person. Yes, Focalors is the divinity, but as we see after Furina is allowed to rest her persona, Furina is also super mature and knowledgeable. In Neuvi's flashback quotes of Furina, it's her softly giving important advice about living with humanity, which is what Focalors was all about. And much like Furina, Focalors loves preforming, she loves humans, she gets all excited about Furina and her future, and is sad she won't get to experience it.

Not to remotely downplay Furina's suffering (because holy shit my poor girl), but Focalors too played her role. Unlike Furina who had Neuvillette and all her friends post this, Focalors was all alone in the Oratrice, waiting for the day she had to kill herself. Furina, has the promise of a future, despite all the suffering she endured to get there. She gets the reward of a happy life as a human surrounded by people who love her, and while it was touch a go for a bit, she was told one day her play would end. In contrast, while Focalors didn't have the same anxiety that Furina had, Focalors knew from the beginning she would never get to see her people saved. Technically she, like Furina, didn't even know if it would even happen. She put her faith in Neuvillette to follow through, and while she had the utmost faith in him, she could never know for certain. But much like her mirror Furina, Focalors weighed her suffering over the people of Fontaine's, and never once faltered. Furina was willing to possibly kill herself via primordial seawater in order to keep up her ruse, whose to say Focalors wasn't the same. Smiling at Neuvillette until the last moment because she couldn't risk him interfering, hiding away her anxieties and sorrow, so he wouldn't look so sad. Furina's performance ended, Focalors' never will.

Focalors was so certain she couldn't be human, but as we see from the Oceanids it was totally possible. And even more vitally, we see from the other Archons it's possible. They might fumble around a bit (some more than others, looking at u Ei), but they are learning and immersing themselves with their people. While not an Archon, it's the same with Neuvillette. Focalors should have had the same opportunities as Furina and the rest (mostly because she is Furina), but the world isn't kind, and that's why her sacrifice hurts.

If u can't tell I have a lot of feelings about Focalors/Furina and while I can appreciate a joke about Focalors giving Furina anxiety, I'm also like, they are literally the same person working together, she deserves the world (all of her).

But yes, I can go on and on about Furina, but for now I'll move onto our boy Childe. To get it out of the way, a little disappointed that we really got no answers about him. Poor guy didn't really have any lines. Also, not big on Skirk's design, mostly the outfit. Putting her next to Dain and uh, yeah (like don't get me wrong don't mind the color scheme and all, but could she not have gotten some kind of armor. Or look more like Foul Legacy or something idk).

But onto more happier notes, I'm so happy to see Childe finally getting to do well in a fight. I know it's a meme for him to get beaten up, but my dude is the Vanguard, let him win sometimes (he doesn't technically win here, but he was fighting an eldritch whale monster for ages and helped save Fontaine, I'm giving it to him). And Skirk, while her design is mostly less to be desired, I'm winning on guessing her hair and eye color haha. Also, while I'll always love my version, I'm liking her personality so far. Her yeeting Childe, while I admit took me out a bit (I thought she threw him farther into the Abyss and was like, "uh guys, yall worried about my poor boy here???" and then was a bit baffled at them saying he was fine) was so fucking funny. It's cool to learn "Foul Legacy" refers to a literal person, and I found the fact that Skirk's relationship with Foul is basically the same as her relationship with Childe very amusing. And it seems she's Khaenri'ahn, maybe? Also, I thought she was listing off her master's other names at first, so when she said Gold I got super hyped that I guessed correctly about the narwhal being Rhine's in my fic, but then they were like nope pfft. I'll take it as a win.

Sidenote, Alice and Rhine where are yoooouuuuuu.

Ultimately, while I enjoyed the Childe and Skirk stuff, it really just feels like a set-up for later stuff. Which isn't really a problem, but I was hoping we'd get something a bit more concrete. Like, I thought we were going to get answers about the "it" that Skirk saw in him, and it would have to do with the Narwhal, but now it seems those were mostly unrelated??? While I did find baby Ajax accidentally waking up a big world eating monster up kind of hilarious, it did feel a little incidental, if that makes any sense. Like, Fontaine's doom was an accident and not the result of anyone's choices. But that might just be a me thing. (and the quest needed more Arle, where was she??? my not really based on anything theory is that whenever we get Furina (or maybe Nevui's) 2nd character quest, Arle will be the boss fight. A reverse of the normal final Harb boss fight during the Archon quest)

Okay, because I really don't want to end on a downer (as I said uptop, I genuinely adored this quest haha), here are some minor spoilers from the Narzissenkreuz Ordo quest that have me by a chokehold.

I wasn't ready for a sudden Ajax. What does this mean??????

And this one just makes me laugh. Whichever Ordo member wrote this, I vehemently disagree with u and am on Khaenri'ah's side with this one. I'd much rather have bread then some higher power nonsense. In my fic I tend to write Khaenri'ah more akin to a modern nation than a fantasy one, and its nice to see me vindicated pfft.

Other random notes, enjoyed that the Fatui weren't just cartoonishly evil in both the main and world quests. I like some nuance. I saw that Sandrone hint, that was fun. Though it makes me wonder when we'll get Columbina lore (especially because if the theory about Harbinger boss fight order based on the Constellation circle is true, she should be showing up soon. Though also I half think that order will break because if it doesn't, it means Sandrone will probably be the final Harb boss which is an odd choice.) As revealed on Furina's weapon, Egeria being around during Remuria raises so many questions around the timeline of events. Genshin pls tell me when the Archon war takes place in all this pls (if they tell us in some lore I haven't read yet, whoops). (also on egeria, I mourn my version but hey, she exists in my heart and in my fics pfft. I can't wait to write her in smfwtwd and venti fic, though she's getting a new name for confusion and better symbolsism)

the contrast between Neuvi and Furina after the quest is so funny and sad. Neuvi "Furina is the best, I want her to be happy". Furina, "Everyone hates me, Neuvillette most of all, I can never face him again." And the other Archons, they are all like Furina, wow u are so cool (which just highlights Neuvi's utter disdain for them other than Nahida haha).

And most vitally, Furina and Venti should be best friends. Musically inclined performers who definitely aren't plotting to overthrow the heavens. I think they are neat (they also both have Latin names!).

[noisyballofvoidmuffin]

I just finished the second season of Good Omens and that was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever watched. That said, I must go on a rant. (/pos)

Ok, unlike the first season, I've had a couple moments where I was feeling second hand stress and had to pause before resuming my watch. Which just means it was very well written, directed, and acted out (!!!), but man 😭

Ok so spoilers ahead from now on. This rant is vaguely structured but mostly chaos bc I'm writing my thoughts as I think them. This is your last warning to avoid spoilers.

Won't check if anyone's still reading bc I'm mostly writing this for myself, so. I'm kind of like Agnes that way. I publish my thoughts just for the free copy of the book.

Anyhow, yes.

The way Aziraphale's behaviour so dramatically changes the moment he's no longer bound by heaven's rules, already seen on the bench scene at the end of season 1 is so??? Goodness, like, it becomes so obvious that Aziraphale had to control himself so many times so as to not get in trouble with heaven.

He lies, doesn't just avoid answering questions like Gabriel did. He tempts people, or perhaps it may be better said that he manages to persuade them very well, but he managed to get everyone to come to the meeting he planned. He bribes some of them, too.

I honestly don't believe any angels are going to fall. Or at least there's no plan for them to be up until now (end of s2). There's no word (in the series) of any Angels falling since the original war. So far at least. Don't think heaven wants any of their angels falling. Aziraphale would've likely fallen twice over if that were the case.

I absolutely dislike Metatron btw. Don't get me wrong, he is doing his job just fine in the narrative, more than such. But somehow during the series I had the feeling that Heaven was a greater evil/threat than Hell ever was and Metatron is just the icing on the cake.

The moment his facial expression dropped before following Aziraphale out of the bookshop just oooooh [seething, subdued adoration for how brilliant that tip off was].

Another thing I immediately had to glare at was when Aziraphale got into the elevator with him and his shoulders dropped. As if he wasn't sure Azi (getting tired of writing out his entire name :')) would get in with him. As if he was unsure.

Also, what's up with all the angels talking about the Great plan? It's not the ineffable plan, they won't call it that, their behaviour sure points towards that. The angels under Gabriel didn't seem to know the answer to Aziraphale's question about whether the two were the same thing. Metatron was much more secure in his wording. I suspect he's not actually acting out on God's will. At least not just that.

Metatron also didn't seem at all surprised at Crowley not taking up the offer to become an Angel again. He didn't react on it at all actually. And again, he said he met him. He said he remembers him and his questions. I presume he's at fault for Crowley's fall.

The angels seem to be so blindly obedient to the Metatron. So trusting.

Yes, a second Prince of Heaven falling would point out the issue in heaven. Even more so than, idk, the fact that an unknown but probably huge amount of Angels fell in the first place.

Talking of which, there was an actively decreasing amount of warrior demons. Where/Why/How was that happening? What were they dying to? If not dying, what were they doing?

Heaven is also rather empty from what it seems. Could be on purpose of course. But, egh. Logistics.

Also, Aziraphale. You lovable DUMBASS. Crowley is the one demon who likely knows best why neither Heaven nor Hell are good sides to be on.

Why did you get on that damned elevator after hearing there would be a second attempt at Armageddon???

Didn't you literally fight to stop the first one??? Okay sure, perhaps it was bc you think you can make a change but come. On.

Onto the acting, because I am not over it. Not at all.

The way the expressions and tones of voice, and the inflection, and just qjfkgkkbmamfvn

If you can't tell that kiss killed me inside. Both before and after.

Perhaps I am heavily biased towards the theories I've read before watching the series but come. ONNNN!!

Back to the series, i have seen someone point out how it seems to be from the pov of Aziraphale, as shown by the diary/journal entries we seen. I won't get too into that, but I do hope we get some of Crowley's perspective of some stuff next season.

Kind of funny how both heaven and hell seem to demand unquestioned obedience from their people. And that neither of their highest in command (God/Satan) are the ones to actually run things.

I've ran out of juice, might continue this rant another time but.. Idk

Feel free to add onto anything I might've mentioned on this. Do keep in mind to keep spoilers under a read more if you do please.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Hi, just dropping in to say I've really enjoyed reading all your thoughts on s2. Luna's ( @vhagar-balerion-meraxes ) too in this ask (link) but I didn't want to invade in that one, I feared I'd go on a full rant under your post :'). Just know I really appreciate you both and I'm happy to hear not everyone has abandoned all our Green babies due to *cough* writing choices that've been made. ❤ Life is insanity at the moment so I really only have the energy to bookmark things by liking them, but I'm still around and happy to hear there are people in my tiny tumblr circle who share my frustrations. The 2nd season so far has been so much more disappointing than I ever dared to fear, but it's comforting to know that at least I'm not alone with these feelings. I'm honestly losing the will to watch the show at this point, I saw most of ep. 5 from gifs long before watching the actual thing. It baffles me how s2 is somehow able to be too fast paced and too slow simultaniously. Like, they skip so many interesting and important character moments and rush through the ones they do add and then we go into snail pace and somehow manage to make a story about dragon family civil war boring (HOW??! ;_;). I came into s2 knowing that the character arcs for most of these characters are going to be negative ones, that they'd slowly become the worst versions of themselves due to all the trauma and war, but the way it's done, they way the show rushes things and loses so much of the nuance, hurts to watch, and again, some of the choices just make me want to claw my eyes out. S1 was far from perfect, but the one thing it did right was it made me care about these characters. S2 seems to be hell bent on making me hate them and is doing it so clumsily that I'd be laughing if the levels of bad writing at times didn't make me want to cry. I've literally stopped watching the show as a story and mainly just engage with it with my writer-editor brain making notes of all the things I can use as examples of how-not-to-do-the-thing later. Which is heart breaking, because I wanted to like it. And seeing how much the cast really genuinely care for their characters, they're doing their damnest but the story is failing them so badly… it's just making me very very sad.

Hi, Liinu!

Thank you for dropping in😊

I share your disappointment and your heartbreak completely. The characters we have come to love and cherish deserved so much more and so much better than what they got.

And the problem is not, indeed, merely in them doing morally questionable or even outright evil things - it's about the clumsiness of the writing and the disrespect with which the characters and the actors are being treated.

For me season 2 has been a disappointment right from the start. I was trying to hold on to hope - but after episode 4 finally gave up on it as on an actual story and decided to watch the rest of it only for the acting and for the possibility to get some nice separate scenes. So you have my complete undestanding here as well.

But at least we, the fandom members who did not fall into the pit of hatred, have each other - just as the HotD actors. Many of them said that the best part of working on this project was the people they were doing it with, and that's really important. Shitty shows end but the friendship lives on:)

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Is it a good idea to watch glee? I've been thinking of watching it cause it seems so fun, but also very crazy.

Glee is a very fun show! However, I can't tell you to watch it without some warnings.

Just like with DCLA shows, there is a before and after you watch it. It's not a show you can watch and then just move on. It doesn't work like that. This show will affect you in some way and you may not be the same as you were before you watched it.

By watching Glee, you will get more cultural in mainstream 2010s media. You will get the context behind so many popular memes that has been stemmed from here. You will also find millions of quotable scenes that you will have use for in the future.

Your music knowledge will be significantly larger! You're gonna hear songs that you wish you found earlier. They also have mashups of songs that will make you feel like you can't listen to the original versions ever again, because you expect it to have the mashup lyrics instead.

You'll get a LOT of representation! However... it comes with a cost. While the show breaks a lot of boundaries, it was both ahead of it's time while also... aged poorly. It mixes the most serious and heartbreaking scenes and the most chaotic and unserious scenes in the same episode. You get so thrown off.

Every character, with exception of like... 4 people, will do something problematic. Your fave will do some REALLY stupid things, if your favorite character again isn't one of those like 4 completely innocent never have done anything ones. And every season will turn more and more insane. In the end you will not recognize the show anymore. The characters are driven insane and you will be driven insane. Many people even have a hard time FINISHING all of Glee. If you do, you are a champion.

Some characters get WAY too much screen time, and other characters get barely any. There's so many missed potentials, and yet there so many things they should not even have done. Sometimes they also just... throw in things that you just have to deal with. Some characters just disappear. You will find yourself hating some characters and then cheering on them the next episode. You will LOVE some characters but then they say or do the most obnoxious thing and you just nervously have to chuckle but OOH YOU'RE ROOTING FOR THEM BUT THEN THEY DO STUFF LIKE THIS....

Honestly... you have to just see it to understand it. If it's a good idea or not... well, that's up to you.