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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 3 years

Text

Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 11- Much More

Summary: Deciding to let Geralt handle the child surprise on his own and rekindle your friendship with Yennefer while against all odds, fight with mages by your side, it’s time to protect Sodden from Nilfgaard.

Warning: blood, fighting Nilfgaard soldiers, angst, reader going a bit feral, eyy more backstory ft. Geralt

Masterlist

The next morning, in the early hours of the dawn did you, Yennefer, and a handful of willing mages set off in lifeboats for the distant shore. You sat in silence within the tight cluster of other bodies seated all around you, every mage dressed very distinctive from one another, their outfits less then ready for battle if you're being completely honest.

You could almost laugh, what exactly did these magical people have in mind when the time came to stopping Nilfgaard? They travel in their fancy robes and attire like it's time to go to court. But you digress, they may look like a fashionable lot, but they do know how to use their powers for destruction if need be.

Hopefully they won't shy away from turning a soldier to ash.

The boat ride lasted longer then you'd have liked, honestly why didn't you just fly across? Oh right, you wanted information about what's going to happen and you know, Yennefer.

Cursed that damned djinn.

Once the boat safely rested against the sandy shore did you get out with the rest of the other mages. Not caring in the slightest to help them pull it fully onto the grass beyond the sand, though you could have done it with one hand. Instead do you follow Yennefer as Vilgefortz questions her relentlessly about many things she simply brushes off, disinterested and annoyed.

It's another boring cluster fuck of hours before you can hear the telling noise of people as they prepare for battle. Once you find your way out of the woods do you notice the great castle-like structure of the Elven keep upon Sodden's Hill, it's crumbling white stony walls sticking out like a sore thumb against the greenery of the land. On the other side, a long bridge pathway leading to the other edge of the great pass, exactly where Nilfgaard is planning to go.

You follow the mages as you all make your way down to the grassy hill towards the tents below, Tissaia meets up with another mage, a man who welcomes you all with open arms, clearly he did not expect such company. But by the looks of it, is desperately going to need every single one of you.

You walk in step with Yennefer, Triss to your back as you shift your gaze from the spread out mass of tired refugee villagers, orphans, and scared old men. The atmosphere is dreary and tense, they all know what's coming and the sight of your group makes some of them even more nervous.

"These people," Starts the robed mage as he walks in line with Tissaia, "they have been pushed from their homes. They've seen the scorched earth, the fields of corpses stretching between Gemmera and this river. Such cruelty."

"It's Nilfgaards way." Replies Tissaia, "There's nothing like a higher purpose to permit men to do the unspeakable." If that isn't the truth.

"But it's all any of us have left. We have to defend it."

"That's heroic." States Sabrina much to your surprise.

You turn to her, "And stupid." They all stop and stare at you in puzzlement like you'd just kicked a helpless puppy and laughed about it, letting out a sigh you shift your scarlet eyes upon the man and Tissaia, "Take the children and hide before they get here so they may avoid more terror and death."

His brows furrow, "There is no more hiding from Nilfgaard. They have come from beyond the mountains to destroy the world." You stay silent, it's not worth arguing over at this point. He's already made up his mind.

Saving the slightly awkward moment, Triss steps in, "You still believe it can be saved?"

Everyone looks to the mage as he stares off into the distance, a look of hope in his bright blue eyes, "I suppose I do." He smiles before turning back to your group, "With some help." And just like that do you all make your way into the keep to further make use of your talents.

Countless arrays of glass bottles are set out and filled with some type of strangely smelling blue rock, arrows are constructed and set out up by the ramparts as you watch from your perch high atop a castle ledge. The preparations are made throughout the whole entirety of the day, the villagers and mages alike all working tirelessly together in a hopefully fruitful attempt at saving this dying stronghold from the Nilfgaardians.

The sun has kept herself hidden from the world hours ago, the beautiful welcoming blanket of darkness settling across the land for the time being. Your favorite time of the day. You watch as the mages and other villagers find their company with one another on a last night of peace before blood is most likely spilt tomorrow when the soldiers arrive.

Against all odds the atmosphere is quite happier and light, people telling stories over fires under the stars as they take their minds off of the impending doom. You've placed yourself a couple feet from Tissaia and Vilgefortz as they sit side by side on a stone ledge with their feet just about touching the ground, a drink in their hands as they reminisce about better times in their lives. You hold one knee up, your other leg dangling freely as you listen to Yennefer and Triss as they walk into view.

Triss snacks on an apple as she points towards your direction, "Is Vilgefortz to be our new daddy?" A small snort escapes you as your heightened hearing catches her jest. Not a second later does Vilgefortz happen to get up, leaving you and Tissaia alone, Yennefer parting from Triss as she stops in the grass. Unsure of where to go next, Tissaia takes this as a cue to raise her glass, "The ale won't disappoint. We should enjoy it while we can."

Yennefer turns to the two of you, a stoic expression crossing her features as she walks over, "It's the first thing Nilfgaard will destroy." She quips bluntly before sitting down in between the both of you.

Tissaia hands her a spare glass, "Must you always be so fatalistic?"

"It's only appropriate, seeing as we might die." Replies the violet eyed mage before taking a sip of the ale, still rather unenthusiastical about everything.

You chuckle, "Well maybe you two, I on the other hand plan on tearing these dogs to pieces."

Tissaia laughs, "All the more reason to live tonight."

Yennefer sets her mug against her lap, "Mmm. Like you." She retorts, looking knowingly in the direction of Vilgefortz as he converses with some soldiers. You look to Tissaia, a smile upon her slender face as she stares almost adoringly at the raven haired man. The three of you look to one another and begin laughing like young school girls who just found out about their friends secret crush.

It feels nice, oddly so.

Your laughter slowly dies down, a more heavy aurora laying over the three of you as your smiles vanish from your once happy faces. Tissaia sighs before excusing herself from the two of you, no doubt heading to seek out the man of the hour.

You sit back in a comfortable silence as a light breeze caresses your face before turning an eye to your friend, "Are you ready?" Your voice is steady and calm yet holding so much, Yennefer quickly turns to face you, her eyes full of apprehensive wonder, "To die." You finish with a raise of your brow, "If destiny decides to finally take us out that is."

She pauses for a moment to think it over as she watches some kids run by in the firelight, "Yes. I've lived two or three lifetimes already."

"But you haven't been satisfied in any of them." You point out as she frowns, her eyes downcast in the nearby fire light.

"But I've no legacy to leave behind. No family." She says sadly, "It's time to accept that life has no more to give." A tinge of disappointment in her voice as she sits next to you, feeling rather defeated with her life.

"You still have so much left to give." She looks to you now, a kind warm smile pulling at your features, "I know it, and I'm not just saying that because of well, you know. I've never really thought about it but you're kind of like me in a way."

She slowly nods, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips, not sure where you're about to go with this, "How so?"

You shrug, "We're both half of something, two pieces that make us a whole being of vitality and raw power. You're half elf, I'm half vampire, two incredible immortal races that should not be fucked with." You playfully nudged her shoulder, "We don't always get what we want in life, she can be quite the bitch you know, and even though I'll never have a true heir of my own. Well I guess, if I can keep alive some of the good in this world while defeating the evil, that's good enough for me. My legacy is hidden within my actions and who I help along the way, it's all it needs to be."

She furrows her brows, "Thank you Y/N." Sincerity in her voice.

You let out a breathy laugh, clearly confused, "For what?"

"For deciding to come with me to this place, you could have left and fucked off to wherever you chose next. But you decided to stay, and well...maybe I do enjoy having you in my company....no matter how how scary those eyes of yours are." She teases.

You smile, "Not the djinn talking?"

"No. Not the djinn. I swear it." Says Yennefer honestly.

You softly hum in agreeance, "So do I. I think it just makes us want to protect one another, perhaps that's how we're drawn in. It's like I'm a beacon of light and you're a moth," You laugh, "or something like that."

"I think so too. Hopefully we don't end up dying, or well, I don't end up dying that is. Guess I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready." Inquires Yennefer uneasily.

"Is anyone ever? I can't die just yet anyways, I still have to see Geralt again, tell him I'm sorry for leaving and probably punch him for that damned wish. Gods I feel horrible..."

"You had every right to say what you did, and don't worry, I know you Y/N. You'll survive. I'm sure of it."

You lean back into the grass, your arms holding you up as you stare up into the dark starry night sky, "Thanks, very motivational. But hey, since we're out here and unsure for the inevitable future.....got any stories?"

Yennefer takes another sip of her mug before setting it down in her lap, "Got a few, but I'd honestly rather hear something from you." She lightly kicks your boot, "Is there any truth to Jaskier's ballad about when you and Geralt fought a Bruxa? From his tale, it appeared to be quite the story."

Rolling your eyes you scoff, "Oh yeah, that bard loves to make our hunts seem so glamorous and amazing, the famous White Wolf almost got his balls slashed off from the nasty fucker."

She hums in interest, "Do tell." You look at her with the most unamused face you can muster, she simply laughs at your lackluster reaction, "Oh come on, Y/N. Tell me all the gory details, I'd rather enjoy hearing about how your Witcher almost lost his prized jewels."

You stare a her before making a gesture for her to hand you the half filled mug in her lap, with a smirk she generously hands it to you, "Now. I can tell you the story." You add before taking a hearty chug, setting the mug down next to you in the grass as you let out a little hiccup, "Alright, so for this specific hunt we though it best to leave Jaskier or he would have without a doubt been killed on the spot, and blah blah we all would have sorely missed him." You lightly chuckle at the dark thought, "Anyways, the town nearby had been recently dealing with a very dangerous problem hiding in some nearby abandoned ruins of some burned down village...."

(Cue flashback)

It's daylight as you walk down an old dirt road leading to a recently destroyed village, the townsfolk living just across the river had told you and Geralt how some vengeful bandits took it upon themselves to burn and pillage the place after some hero wannabe killed their leader with a lucky arrow to the head. The next thing they new, every wooden house had been set ablaze in the dead of night as they raced outdoors to listen to the terrified screams emitting from within the woods.

The mayor claimed it was a horrendous display of revenge, only a lucky few had survived the torment, but something even worse then petty bandits had loomed over the land in the following month, brought upon by the lingering stench of death and blood. It had begun with high pitched shrieking in the dead of night, right were the ruined village was, some brave souls would investigate the next day to find the mutilated corpse of a male traveler.

More people would go missing for another month before you, Geralt, and Jaskier happened to stroll into town one autumn afternoon. No one at the local tavern, nor the mayor herself, would know what beast was taking all the men hunting for it. So with a suspicious curiosity did you accept her offer of coin in return for the death of the mysterious beast. The next day, with lack of a certain bard, did you and Geralt set off to explore the destroyed grounds.

You kick a loose rock and watch as the little boulder skids across the muddy trail while keeping pace with Geralt, "So, any idea what this hungry fucker might be?" You ask, turning to him with a wiggle of your brow, "I have a few ideas."

Geralt hums, turning an inquiring golden eye in your direction, "Considering this place has gone to shit in the past two months, dead bodies everywhere, could be a ghoul....or a wraith...maybe even a werewolf." His voice gravely and filled with a tinge of dark humor.

You chuckle, "A werewolf huh, now that would be quite the battle to witness, me and the notorious dogman, claw to blade. I'd have its head on a spike in an instant..."

"Would you now?" He teases.

"I would!" You lean in to lightly smack his arm, "What? Don't laugh...grrr ugh okay fine....after it put me through a couple rounds, I'd get there eventually. Then you'd be there to celebrate my victory with loud cheers of praise before taking me on the grass to thoroughly show me your ever loving gratitude." You cackle as he coughs awkwardly on his own spit, sending you an surprised but very amused facial expression at your more sensual implications.

"Right then and there, in front of the headless beast?" Wonders Geralt as you nod, a smile breaking out upon his handsome face, "Y/N, you are quite the woman."

"Course I am, best thing you've got." You sass with confidence before stopping dead in your tracks at the scent of something decaying. Geralt watches in curiosity as you sniff the cool air, your scarlet irises dancing across the burnt ruins of the village now that you're both so close, you raise a brow at him, "New flesh. Someone was just recently killed."

Your feet are quick as they take you past charred wooden houses and broken glass, all the way through the mess before you stand a few feet away from a large half caved in house, its entrance gone as it stands looming over all the other destroyed ruins. You turn to Geralt, "The dead one sleeps in here, the blood is a couple days old." He nods as you cautiously enter through the broken door, your eyes adjusting to the shadowy darkness as you walk into the room.

It's one large area with a crumbling ash covered fireplace at the far middle end of the wooden structure, you walk a couple more feet before stopping, Geralt coming to a halt at your side. "Nothings here." He confirms, his eyes still looking over the ashen room.

You shake your head, a smile upon your lips at his terrible observation skills, you turn around to face him before taking his chin between your thumb and forefinger, tilting his head towards the rafters. His eyes immediately lock onto the incomprehensible corpse of a man, or at least what was left of him, only his guts and a single arm hanging from the ceiling.

"That's lovely." Muses your Witcher bluntly as you release your touch, he lifts a brow to you, "Definitely not a wraith or a ghoul. I'm not even sure a werewolf would have done this, that is the charming work of something incredibly violent and depraved. Some creature that would not care for their victim in the slightest, and the victims...all men.." He looks to the side, trying to think for a moment, "just men. And it showed up after the burning, but then it decided to stay...now it kills for food and apparently pleasure too. Maybe this is a..."

"Bruxa." His golden eyes lock onto your causal stance, he sets a hand on his hip as you simply shrug, "I could smell the bitch before we crossed the bridge, wanted to see if you figured it out first. Wow Geralt, what a monster hunter you are, very good sleuthing work." You tease with a slow clap as he rolls his eyes, motioning for you to follow him out of the dying house so he doesn't have to spend another second in this gloomy old place.

Stepping into the daylight he turns to you, the ghost of a humored smile gracing over his lips, "I would have gotten there eventually." He sasses back, using your own words against you, "Maybe this Bruxa is a family friend."

You scoff, "I wish, these type of bloodsuckers are more feral and less elegant, they're a subspecies so I won't feel bad about killing it, not that that's ever stopped me before. But still, they're deadly cunts who kill whatever has a heartbeat, only silver will take them down." You take a step forward, pushing your pointer finger against his leather armored chest, "So you better be on your guard tonight, I'd rather not travel alone with the bard until he dies." You snort, setting your arm down once again, "Or I kill him first."

"I'll be ready." Confirms Geralt with a knowing tinge of confidence, much to your amusement at his self-assuredness, "The sun doesn't set for another couple hours, why don't we head back into town and tell our bard of the plans, hm?"

"Yeah alright." You reply, beginning to walk back the way you came, "Jask is definitely not joining us tonight. That idiot would be dead in a heartbeat, I mean seriously...these nasty bitches whole thing is appearing as harmless attractive women before...blah!" You pounce at Geralt, squeezing his muscular bicep before letting go just as quickly, "You're ass is dead. And torn to shreds like a piece of meat in a starving dogs cage, not a pleasant way to go at all."

Geralt chuckles at your dramatic antics as the two of you travel back to the town; Jaskier was luckily fine with staying behind, unsurprisingly he happened to have found himself a lady friend, who was all too satisfied once learning her new lover would be staying the night once more. Soon enough, dusk had settled over the land and you and your Witcher began the hunt.

Taking silent steps through the forest as you both walked across the beaten down trail leading into the sad abandoned village, the two of you go to stand behind a large oaken tree while your eyes wander over the broken houses. Your silver dagger clutched tightly in your hand as the other one presses against the rough bark.

Geralt's armored back touches yours as the two of you watch from opposite sides of the tree, "Y/N you hear anything?" Whispers Geralt.

"No."

"Smell anything?"

"No."

"See anything?"

"Ask me something again and I'll shove a stick up your ass."

"Noted."

Another fifteen minutes would go by before your superior hearing would pick up the supposed sound of something brushing past some leaves from the treetops across the destroyed houses. Your hand grips the dagger tighter as you listen more intently, it moves slowly, a branch creaks as it sits atop it. Then the wood creaks again, more leaves are brushed aside as you suddenly realize where this fucker is headed, the town!

"Oh, fuck." You whisper yell, not even aware that you just said that out loud.

"What? What is it Y/N, did you hear something?"

"The bitch is in the trees, she's going for town." You pause searching for your words, "Uh, be ready I'm going to lure her out into the open." You rush before taking a step forward, stopping to turn towards a confused Geralt as he studies your face, "Don't, uh...get bitten or killed. Love you, good luck."

He's left to his thoughts as you swiftly race across the muddy yard in a blur before jumping onto a half standing thatched roof, you stay low as your crimson irises scan the tree line in search of the Bruxa, it doesn't take long before you spot a beautiful pale black haired woman looking in the opposite direction as she stays perched on a thick branch. You smirk, your fangs showing in the moonlight as you decide to be as boldly annoying as you can.

Rising to your full height, you stare at the beautiful bastard before yelling, "Hey! You big ugly horse fucker!" The Bruxa immediately snaps her attention over to you, her yellow eyes glaring down at you before she turns from an attractive young woman into a terrifying lady demon.

She screeches, jumping down from her perch before making a hasty beeline in your direction, you jump, just as she narrowly misses your face with her long sharp nails. You gently land upon the muddy ground, the growling Bruxa eyeing you hungrily as she stands once again, her body facing you with great malice, lips curling in a snarl, hands balling into angry fists.

You smirk, feet planted firmly in the earth as you grip your dagger tight, "Come on you pale faced cunt, come get me." You taunt as she hisses in fury before darting in your direction, you twist to the side, slashing her arm as you skid in the dirt, facing her once more.

Her face whips around to find yours as she grunts in pain, the silver burning her skin as she charges you once more, this time you launch yourself into the air. Just as she grabs for your feet, missing them by mere inches while you quickly flip above her head, you land, facing her. But before she has time to attack you once again, Geralt races out of the tree line and slashes the back of the Bruxa with a fury enough to turn you on if not for the current circumstance. A blood curdling scream rips through the frosty air as she whips around with lightening speed, grabbing Geralt's sword less arm before thrusting him across the yard to your left.

Her feet move inhumanly quick as she follows her downed silver haired prey, instinctively you throw your dagger, it makes a strong thwack sound as it sinks into the pale flesh of the feral vampire's thigh. She stumbles back, falling to the ground as she screams in agony, all before standing up once again and keeping as still as a statue, staring you down like a wolf to her prey.

You ball your fists, not sure what to do now since your only weapon is gone, you shrug, "No hard feelings?" You jest before she growls, her feet bounding against the earth as she quickly tackles you to the ground faster then you're able to blink.

Damn, vampires are fast.

She bares her fangs doing her best to chop at your exposed skin, her hands trying to claw desperately at your everything as you hold her forearms tightly in your grasp, droplets of spit fall upon your face as you grimace in disgust. Geralt where the fuck are you? She angrily struggles in your fists as her face desperately snaps at your own, inches apart she just misses your skin, a moment later do you sigh in relief as she's ripped from your grasp and thrown across the rocky ground.

You jump to your feet, only to watch in awe as Geralt and the Bruxa fight with one another in the center of the destroyed town, she slashes and bites at him as he punches and gets in some hits with his silver sword. But soon enough does she have him on his back, his sword only a few feet away, just out of reach as she pounces on him in a fury.

Instantly she tears at his black pants, ripping them open from his lower right hipline to his knee, he kicks her away before she lunges for him once again. Geralt scoots back just as she smacks her taloned hand right where is crotch was, not even a split second ago.

"Y/N!" Shouts Geralt with wide eyes, "My sword."

Wiping blood from your nose you take swift steps forward, he braces for the worst right as you grab a fistful of black hair, yanking hard as you pull her to the ground, your other hand closing tightly around her throat as her yellow eyes expand in surprised rage.

You pin her down, squeezing tight as she squirms from beneath you, her thin muscled arms reaching for your neck as you force your face away from her sharp nails, "You get your fucking sword!"

He lets out an annoyed huff before scrambling for the fallen blade, grasping it in his strong hands as she digs her claws into your clothed arms, you yelp in pain, losing your grip on her neck. She shrieks again before you suddenly get cracked in the forehead by the bitch's own skull, you see stars as she uses this opportunity to kick you in the chest, hard. You let out a breathy gasp before stumbling backwards across the dirty path, your head falling onto Geralt's boots, he looks down as you stare up at him in a daze. Your labored breaths coming out as a wheeze.

You blink, trying to focus on his blurry physique, "Fucking ouch." You growl through clenched teeth as he hastily pulls you to your feet.

"Watch out." Warns your Witcher before leaving your side to tear into the furious Bruxa.

"Thanks for the forewarning, very helpful." He ignores your annoyed jest, conveniently slashing off the head of the damn bitch before your very eyes. He's breathing heavily as he towers over the bloody mess, golden eyes finding your irritated ones as you pick up your silver dagger, "Great work, bravo, well done." You deadpan, giving your man a less then enthusiastic round of applause.

Lowering the weapon to his side he glances down at his slashed pants before finding your eyes once again, "Almost got me." Chuckles Geralt with a small smile.

Rolling your eyes you break out into a grin, "Oh yes, then we would have really had a problem."

Yennefer snickers as you end the tale, an amused laugh falling from your lips as you sit up once again, "After that we told the town, which of course they were surprised but nonetheless ever grateful, giving us a nice bag of coin. Geralt got some new pants, Jaskier got some more writing material, and I got a solid reminder that I am not invincible when it comes to creatures like a Bruxa. Vampires, huh."

Yennefer nods, shaking her head as she smiles, "That's...more then I'd ever encountered. Better you then me." She muses.

You sigh, a small tired smile pulling at the corners of your lips, "Those were the best times though, hunting, traveling, being with those two idiots. I do miss them, a lot actually."

Her lavender irises fall upon your saddened gaze as you watch people converse happily with one another, a mother tucking her child into a makeshift straw bed, you suddenly feel much sadder then before, "You will see them again, I know it Y/N."

Shifting your scarlet eyes to her shadowed face, you lightly tap the edge of your mug, "Hopefully I won't see a Bruxa again, fucking cunts. But yes, thank you for the words of encouragement and...friendly counselling, I'm going to bed." You scoot off of the grassy ledge, standing on the soft earth as you turn to Yennefer, "Right here's good enough. Also, not to worry, I don't snore."

She watches as you lay upon the ground, others doing the same as the night progresses, deciding to follow your example she moves to lay a couple of feet from you, pulling a foresty green blanket from out of a nearby bag, "Won't you get cold?"

Laying on your back you look up at the stars, "I've never felt cold before actually."

She lays down, an amused burst of air flowing out of her nostrils, "Right, half vampire. Well, goodnight then you odd freak of nature." Playful sarcasm dripping from every word.

You lightly chuckle, "Night, you insane fucking witch." The two of you share a humorous moment together before falling into a comfortable silence, the both of you trying your best to fall asleep before the sun rises, bringing danger on the fiery horizon.

—-

You awaken to the shouting of men nearby, opening your eyelids do you raise yourself up into a sitting position as a massive fiery orange ball of light begins its decent from the great blackness of sky. Right in your very direction, you can hear it sizzling as your eyes grow wide in fear.

"Oh fuck!" You cry just as Yennefer throws her blanket to the side, reaching out her hands just in time to abruptly halt the death ball of enchanted flame before it can incinerate the whole yard of sleeping people. Her face is pained as she throws it to the left in mid-air, the tiny sun bursting into a beautiful explosion over the trees, safely away from everyone else.

In an instant are you up, both yourself and Yennefer screaming for everyone to rise and prepare for the beginning assault. The grassy grounds are covered in racing frantic bodies filled with frightful screams. Another fireball would be thrown at you all, and deflected just the same, nothing more coming about for the rest of the night. Nilfgaard keeping you all on your toes till the dawn.

Now here you are in the early hours of the morning, the sun illuminating the landscape as you follow the mages around the castle while they figure out a plan of attack. Everyone keeps low behind the walls as you'll quickly walk down some stairs, no roof to keep anyone adequately hidden.

"Stay low. We don't know what other tricks they may have." Warns Vilgefortz as you follow behind him, more mages rushing to a halt on the stone steps as you all look out over the forest in the direction that those damned flames came from last night.

"Maybe it's over." Says Triss, but you know better. This is just the beginning.

"No. Fringilla's just getting started." Whispers Yennefer.

"It hasn't been two days yet." States Sabrina, "How is Nilfgaards army here already?"

Vilgefortz gets up, "Doesn't matter. We can't wait for the Northern Kingdoms. We have to fight."

You chuckle, "There's only 22 of you left, those other cowards fled in the night like little mice chased by some housecat. Guess some heat was too much to handle." You quip as one mage stands, claiming with confidence that's he's not going anywhere, others agreeing as well. You suddenly feel uneasy, sorcery in the woods, snapping your attention over to the forest your crimson eyes go wide at the sight of white mist flowing throughout the trees, "Uh, what the fuck?"

"There coming!" Shouts a mage in fear.

"It's starting!" Exclaims another in excitement.

I hate magic.

In seconds is everyone up and moving to their assigned stations right before your very eyes. Leaving you alone to watch the strange unnatural fog slowly make its way closer and closer to the stronghold.

Times seems to go fast, in the next twenty-five minutes has the archers and people with slingshots wrecked havoc upon marching Nilfgaardian soldiers in the woods. No doubt giving them an explosive ending before their time in battle has even begun. Yennefer directs the mages assault from her position high up in the tallest tower with the best view. Your eyes shift from the nearing wood line where the real danger lurks to the grassy courtyard below where people are hustling back and forth, racing to their duties. You walk upon the castle ledges, high up above the sweating foreheads of the mages and archers as you make your way over to the tallest part of the Elven Keep. Gliding up to her level, you softly land with atop the wooden landing.

She appears quite distraught and panicky as you study her body language, she turns to you, tears in her lavender eyes, "Vilgefortz, he's..."

What is that fucking swooshing sound?

"Portal!" You shout, turning your body to look over the other ledge, just as you'd sensed, a large swirling portal has materialized from the earth. A second later do you watch in horror as arrows fly up from its center, thwacking into nearby mages and villagers. Killing them instantly.

Fearful tears fall from Yennefer's eyes as you feel a surge of rage forming within you at these grisly acts of violence. She quickly regains her bearings enough to telepathically speak to Tissaia before the heiress is cut off by something or someone in the woods. You can hear as more and more mages are being slaughtered from beyond the Keep's walls as they run to the stronghold for cover, Yennefer calls out to them but it's no use, they're already dead.

A gate has been breached!

You want to do something but you can't bear to leave Yennefer's side in such dangerous times, but hearing the screams and wails of agony from the brave people around you is enough to shift your mind. You must help them, now is the time.

"Triss! The gate! Can you buy us time?" Shouts Yennefer aloud, though you know she's speaking telepathically to Triss.

Tearing your eyes away from dying Nilfgaard soldiers and mages alike do you place a comforting hand on Yennefer's shoulder, she snaps her attention to you, almost startled, "I'll help Triss. Be careful, Yenn." She tearfully nods as you lend her a small smile in return.

Your feet move inhumanly fast as you run atop the castle roof, jumping down to the wooden balcony where the archers are, you race past them before bolting down the steps and into the grassy courtyard where a gate has been breached. Many armed villagers and a few Nilfgaard soldiers are currently fighting with one another, their swords clashing in desperate fury.

Across the courtyard is Triss who's struggling to cover the opened gate with thick vines as a couple dark armored soldiers get themselves tangled up in the process. A look of pure determination crosses your face as you unsheathe your silver dagger, your legs move quick as you take out a few soldiers on your way to aid Triss in her fight. Knowing you can't do much from behind the gate, you scale the stone wall with ease, falling to the grass below, you land atop the soft earth with the grace of a dancer.

A pained scream rips forth from Triss' throat as a Nilfgaardian soldier thrusts his flaming torch into her neck, in an instant have you sunk your blade into his skull, pulling the bastard away as you look down at Triss from behind the vines. Her screams of agony pierce your sensitive ears as she looks at you through glossy pained eyes, but the thudding of quickly approaching heartbeats alerts you to turn around.

Your scarlet irises lock with the green ones of a rushing soldier, his sword is bared as he charges you, adrenaline and hate coursing throughout his entire vessel. He swings the blade to his left in your direction, twisting around past him, you shove your dagger through his jugular and right back out again, a red spurt of blood bursting forth as a couple droplets dance upon your face.

The fresh scent is almost intoxicating, driving you into a more primal feeling, you turn with fire in your eyes to face three more ugly old bastards, weapons drawn and ready to strike. You hiss at them, bearing your fangs as pure fear flashes across their faces. In a blur do you end their pathetic lives before they even have a chance to realize what hit them. You hear another scream and race to the aid of a fallen mage, slicing through more Nilfgaardian men in a fury of blood and broken bones.

She fearfully thanks you, her eyes dazed as she carries herself to safety, though there is no safety here as moments later does your ear drums burst with the sounds of explosives shattering throughout the battlements where all the glass bottles of blue stone where being kept.

Oh, fuck.

Stones fly past your head as white smoke emits from the destruction, you can smell the blood and hear the cries of the ones most unlucky enough to be so close. No one alive is around you for the time being as you stand among the dead, your chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, some trickles of unfamiliar blood falling down the side of your face and hands. More red dripping off of your sharp silver dagger as you stand in the evening sunlight, the smell of smoke and blood on the breeze.

"Can anyone here me? Is anyone out there?" Calls Yennefer from inside your head, likewise to all the other mages, "If you can hear me, you need to get to the front line. More Nilfgaardians are coming to the woods. We can't give up. We can still fight." Her voice is tired and desperate, heavy with emotion as she makes a last fleeting effort to protect the Keep.

You catch her scent and the sound of her erratic nervous heartbeat as she emerges from the broken gate of vines, white fog pushing to the side as she walks into the daylight. She looks rough, her face and chest dirty, her left hand coated in her own blood from a wound at her side.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Races three unfamiliar heartbeats.

Three more men rush out off the bushes and whitish thick mist, heading straight for her, she thrusts her opened palm into the air. Twisting her hand, the men fall dead one by one at her beautiful display of chaos.

Her lavender eyes trail across the battlefield, landing on you, you're speckled with the ruby red blood of dead Nilfgaardian men. A mess of red coating your lips as a trail of it wanders down your chin to your throat from when you let yourself have a little taste of Nilfgaards finest.

You slowly walk over to her side, she swallows, her throat is dry, nonetheless you lend her a hopeful smile, "You're ability to still look this good covered in dirt and blood is honestly impressive." The tiniest of smiles gives you a small sign of hope on her face, "I've cleared this area but as you've said, more are in the woods. I can still hear them, they're close."

"Thank you." Her voice is hoarse as she lowly nods, her voice becoming distant as she looks out into the wood line, "I need to find Tissaia."

Tagged: @notahappytree @ashleyforeverareject @sokkasdarling @kmuir1@haleypearce @diegos-butt (@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work) @a-girl-who-loves-disney

#the witcher #the witcher x reader #the witcher x you #the witcher x y/n #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x you #of monsters and men fic #Yennefer of Vengerberg #yennefer

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dilly-oh · 4 years

Text

Three Strikes

“Listen up, team,” Captain Yamato says, his face deathly serious, “we are going to murder these guys. They are going to be sent home in body-bags. They’re the enemy, and we’re gonna slaughter them.”

Kakashi glances over at the other team. They look like a bunch of sweaty highschool kids, same as them, though their baseball uniforms look like they’ve seen better days. Or months. Two messy brown-haired boys are passing around a joint, a douchey-looking kid with silver hair is blatantly screwing around on his phone, and another is straight up sleeping on the bench. Their Captain is facing them, hands on his hips as he tries to rouse his teammates, ponytail bouncing at the effort. It seems a lost cause, just like their chances of winning.

“Even their parents aren’t going to be able to identify their remains.”

Yamato’s doing that thing again where he gets too serious and starts creeping everyone out. Kakashi looks over at Coach Minato to see if he’s going to put a stop to this, but he’s too busy giggling and sexting his wife to notice. As usual.

“Kakashi, we’re counting on your pitches to really massacre them, got it?” Yamato fixes him with that soul-killing stare, all blank and dead-eyed.

“Mmm,” Kakashi hums noncommittally, his lower face hidden behind his catcher’s mitt. He finds the smell comforting. Also, Asuma is sitting next to him, and reeks of a nauseating combination of B.O., cigarette smoke and Kurenai’s perfume. As if they’re fooling anyone by claiming to be ‘just friends’.

“Can we hurry this up?” Genma cuts in, snapping his gum. “I have a hot date in, like, two hours.”

“I’m sitting right here,” Raido states. “You’re so fucking embarrassing.”

“Love you too, babe.”

“Where the hell is Gai?” Asuma asks, glancing around.

“He ate too many protein bars again. He’s in the can.”

Kakashi can’t wait for this to be over so he can go home and chill with the dogs. All eight of them. He makes a mental reminder to pick up some more Milkbones on the way home.

The thing is, Kakashi is damn good at baseball, even though he loathes it. He’d drop it in a heartbeat and spend all his free time playing CoD, except his father insists he play a sport to ‘round out his resume’. As if his straight A’s since Kindergarten and 160 IQ wasn’t enough. Kakashi’s pitches are precise, powerful, and virtually unstoppable. The ball almost seems to move as if he controls it himself. He strikes everyone out with 99.9% accuracy, able to analyze an opponent in a single glance and determine their weaknesses. It’s the reason their team has made it so far, despite his teammate’s determined efforts to goof off.

The two coaches finally get their shit together and shake hands (the other coach is an elderly man who winks at Asuma for some reason, who groans). The game begins, and Kakashi takes his place on the pitcher’s mound, rolling the ball soothingly around in his hand. The other team’s Captain is up first. After adjusting his ponytail under his helmet, he walks to the plate, taps the ground with his bat, and looks up at Kakashi just as he winds up to throw.

He’s a nerdy looking kid with gangly arms, a scar over the bridge of his nose, and a determined scowl on his face.

He’s the most gorgeous thing Kakashi’s ever seen.

The ball slips off his fingers, goes spinning off in a corkscrew, and clocks a drink right out of a bystander’s hand. Soda sprays everywhere, thoroughly coating a good portion of the meager crowd.

“Foul!” the umpire cries. The boy blinks in surprise, then squares up again, bat waving tauntingly. Kakashi gets another ball and winds up.

This time his ball hits a car in the parking lot, the burglar alarm wailing away. The car’s owner wails even louder.

“Foul!”

Kakashi throws another foul. And another.

“Ball!”

The boy walks. He glances at Kakashi as he trots by him, confused. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the ground, cursing inwardly.

This will not happen again.

It happens again.

And again.

It’s not so bad when the boy’s on second base, because then he’s directly behind Kakashi and out of his line of sight. But when he’s on first or third, he can see him out of the corner of his eye, and his gaze is naturally drawn to him, concentration wavering. It’s even worse when he’s on the bench, because then Kakashi can see him in his natural state, smiling and chatting amicably with his teammates.

But nothing compares to when he’s up to the plate, standing ready for the pitch. The intensity of those deep brown eyes is staggering, making his legs weak. He walks each time, Kakashi’s near-perfect pitches always spinning out of control and destroying something of value. He’s just glad he’s hit mostly inanimate objects and not people.

After several innings of this, Captain Yamato has had enough, and he calls a time-out, dragging Kakashi to the side of the dugout for a polite chat.

“Kakashi, the fuck is going on? You’re throwing the damn game! Literally!”

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi mumbles, miserable. “I...I don’t know-”

“Are you feeling alright?” Captain Minato has decided to finally do his job and actually act like a Coach, walking over to join them.

“M’fine.” Kakashi shakes his head, hiding his face behind his glove. “It’s just...I keep getting...distracted.” Yamato sputters indignantly, but Minato’s studying him, a thoughtful look on his face. He glances over at the other team, and Kakashi’s traitorous eyes follow, latching onto the boy, who is busy scolding his teammates again, cheeks flushed with frustration. Kakashi’s ears start to burn. Minato chuckles and he hurriedly snaps his gaze back.

“...I think I see what the problem is.” He pats Kakashi’s shoulder with a knowing grin. “Listen, Kakashi...why don’t you sit this one out? Just...relax and enjoy the view.”

It feels like Kakashi’s ears are going to burn down to nubs.

“What?! He can’t sit out, we need him! How else are we going to bathe in their blood?”

“Bathe in their- what? Christ, Yamato, it’s just a game. Calm down. Are we going to have to have another talk?”

Kakashi drags his feet back to the bench and plonks himself down. The others glance over at him in concern.

“What’s up, Kakashi?” Genma asks. “Constipated?”

“Gai, give him some of your protein bars.” Raido elbows the other boy in the gut, who groans.

Nevermind, they’re just idiots. Kakashi cowers behind his mitt in shame.

The game continues, and his teammates manage to do remarkably well without him. Gai makes a surprisingly good substitute pitcher, although he screams “Dynamic Pitch!!” every time he throws the ball until Coach Minato tells him to cut it out. Asuma is jacked enough that he can hit a home-run every time he connects, and Kakashi is pretty sure the other team is terrified of Yamato and his intimidating stare. The game makes a quick turnaround, and in the blink of an eye, they’ve won. He’s been staring nonstop at the boy, too, so that might have something to do with the quick win.

Everyone cheers and high-fives while Kakashi quickly grabs his stuff, shoves it in his duffle, and scuttles off towards the bus. Coach Minato is suddenly next to him, blocking his way.

“Why don’t you go say hi?” he suggests, nodding his head at the other team.

Kakashi can’t think of anything more horrible.

“This was an away game,” Minato reminds him. “You might never see him again.”

...Dammit.

Dropping his bag in the dirt, Kakashi forces himself to turn around and walk robotically towards the boy, who is just wrapping up a speech to his teammates about how they’re still winners for doing their best, but no-one’s really listening. He turns away from them, shaking his head in exasperation, and blinks in surprise as Kakashi stops in front of him. He’s even cuter up close. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the ground to keep from being blinded.

“...Hi.”

“Uh. Hey.” The boy regards him warily. “You alright out there? The Coach made you sit down.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Kakashi pauses long enough for the silence to turn painfully awkward. “I’m Kakashi, by the way.”

“Iruka.” God, even his name is cute. Kakashi scrambles to think of something to talk about.

“So, um. Do you...like baseball?”

“Not really, no,” Iruka answers. “I’d rather be home playing CoD, to tell the truth.”

“Oh my God, me too,” Kakashi slumps over, awash with relief. “Have you seen the latest updates? They have a new map that-”

The next five minutes are incomprehensible gibberish to everyone but them as they debate the best maps, guns, and loadouts.

“Iruka, let’s go!” a voice calls impatiently from the parking lot.

“Yeah, yeah, just a minute,” he calls back, waving at his teammates. Kakashi’s stomach tightens.

This is it. His last chance.

“Hey, uh...” He takes a deep breath. “You wanna...hang out sometime?”

Iruka stares back at him blankly.

“I live, like, twenty miles away from you.”

“Oh.” Kakashi blinks. “Right. Sorry.” He feels like a complete idiot. Here he was, thinking he actually had a chance-

“Here’s my phone number. Message me so I can friend you and we’ll play later.”

...Then again, maybe he did.

They exchange numbers, Kakashi happily adding a dolphin emoji after Iruka’s name.

“So is this a friend thing, or a boyfriend thing?” Iruka asks, blunt as can be. Kakashi just gapes at him, wide-eyed in horror. His face feels like it’s on fire, and he desperately wishes he’d brought his glove to hide behind.

“...Only...if you want it to be,” he croaks out. Iruka stares at him a beat longer, then breaks out into a blinding grin.

“Yeah, sure, why not. You were pretty cute out there, spazzing out every time I was up to bat. I’m surprised you didn’t hit a bird.”

Oh my God. He knew. Oh my GOD.

“I have to warn you, though...” Iruka went on, grinning cheekily, “three strikes, and you’re out.”

Kakashi has never been more in love.

(Written for @kakairu-fest, Week 1 Prompt: Summer Sports)

#kakairu #kakairu fest #hatake kakashi #Umino Iruka #modern au #fanfic #summer sports #baseball #highschool #little bit of swearing sorry #language #also a lil bit of pot #rated t for teen

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fandomrewrites · 4 years

Text

Season 2; Episode 8: Raving

Hello all! Sorry I’m updating a day late! But after last chapter you now know who (Y/N) is starting to like; Isaac! I love Isaac and as I was writing season 2 I knew I wanted them to either have a really good friendship or develop some romantic feelings for each other. I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always constructive criticism is appreciated.

Season 2; Episode 8: Raving

Pairings: Scott McCall x Twin Sister, Lydia Martin x Best Friend, Isaac Lahey x Reader

Warnings: mention of sex

Word Count: 2,598

Season 2 Masterlist

I was with Scott in the animal clinic waiting for Derek to arrive. Finally, after what felt like hours, though it was probably only about ten minutes, Scott opened the front door. He stepped aside to let Derek and Isaac in.

“What’s he doing here?” Scott questioned the Alpha.

“I need him.”

“I don’t trust him.”

“He doesn’t trust you either.” Isaac replies, sending a glare to my twin before looking back at me with a smirk covering his lips.

“And Derek doesn’t care.” Derek quickly says, stopping any arguing. “Now where’s the vet and is he going to help us or not?”

“That depends.” Dr. Deaton answers, making his presence known to the werewolves. “Your friend Jackson. Are we planning to kill him or save him?”

“Save him.” Scott and I answer together.

At the same time Derek and Isaac say, “Kill him.”

Without missing a beat Scott and I send a glare to the two, Scott once again repeats, “Save him.”

We all move to the exam room after Dr. Deaton gets reassured that we will not be killing Jackson. We watch as the vet unlocks a drawer to reveal dozens of glass jars, different grains and petals inside each.

Derek is drawn to the Celtic symbols on each of the jars: a Triqueta, an Awen, Taranis wheel and others. Isaac reaches out to touch one of the jars but before his hand reaches Derek grabs his wrist, stopping him. “Watch what you touch.” The Alpha scolds his Beta.

Deaton takes out one of the jars with a symbol of a shield knot on it and looks at the contents inside.

“What are you? Some kind of witch?” Isaac asks.

“No, I’m a veterinarian. But I do have experience treating an unusually wide variety of animals.”

I scoff, “You’re telling me.”

Deaton sends me a small smile as he places the jar back down. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure if anything here is going to be an effective defense against a paralytic toxin.”

“We’re open to suggestions.” Derek says.

“How about an effective offense?” Isaac asks.

“We tried.” Derek answers then turns his head to the vet, “I nearly ripped its head off and Argent emptied an entire clip into it. The thing just gets back up. If anything, I think it’s getting stronger.”

“Great, just what we need.” I mumble out, rolling my eyes at the thought of the Kanima getting stronger.

“Has it shown any weaknesses?” Deaton asks.

“One. It’s either afraid of water or can’t swim.” I answer, glancing at Derek as he nods in agreement.

“Does that go for Jackson as well?”

I immediately shake my head, “No. He’s on the swim team.”

Deaton pauses, thinking for a moment. He then removes a new item from the drawer. It’s an old, scratched steel pendant. “Essentially you’re trying to catch two people. A puppet and puppeteer.”

He places the odd piece on the table. “One killed the husband. But the other had to take care of the wife. Do we know why?”

“I don’t think Jackson could do it.” Scott speaks up, “His mother died pregnant too. She might have been murdered. I think he couldn’t let the same thing happen to someone else.”

“How do you know it’s not part of the rules? The Kanima kills murderers. If Jackson killed the wife, the baby would have died too.” Isaac says.

“Then doesn’t that mean your father was a murderer?” Scott questions, looking at Isaac with confusion evident on his face.

“Wouldn’t surprise me if he was.” Isaac simply answers.

I glance at him biting my lip, I can’t imagine having a parent that horrible. And my dad definitely wasn’t great but I would take him any day compared to what Isaac had to go through.

Isaac raises his eyes, feeling my gaze on him. He lightly smiles and gives me a stiff nod, like he’s telling me he’s alright and better off without him gone.

Derek’s voice breaks me from my thoughts, “But the Bestiary said if the bond’s strong enough, it’ll kill whoever the master wants it too.”

“Hold on.” Deaton replies, “The book says they’re bonded. What if the fear of water isn’t coming from Jackson, but from the person controlling him?”

Deaton pulls another jar from the drawer, this one is filled with gray ash. The symbol on it is for Rown. Deaton unscrews the lid and begins lightly pouring out the contents around the amulet he previously placed on the table.

He then continues to speak, “That could mean the same properties that affect a creature like the Kanima will also affect its human Master.”

“And what does that mean?” Isaac asks.

“It means we can catch them.” Scott answers, “Both of them.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

In school the next day I was talking with Lydia by our lockers, “So you have a date?” She asks with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, “It’s not a date. I told him I’m not ready for that but I’d be happy to go with him as friends.”

“Seriously (Y/N/N), whether you believe it’s a date or not, I’m happy you’re getting back out there. You’re gorgeous and need to get laid.”

I laugh and shake my head. “I a not planning on having sex with him. I don’t even want to kiss him.”

“Oh come on! It’s not like Matt is bad looking. Definitely not my type and you could do better. But for a little fling, it could be fun.”

“Speaking of a little fling...” I trail off, my eyes meeting Isaac’s from across the hall. A small smile falls on to my lips when he starts smirking, clearly hearing what I said.

Lydia turns her head to see who I’m looking at, “You and Isaac?”

I bite my lip and tear my eyes away, turning back to Lydia, “We made out. And I honestly wouldn’t be disappointed if something more happened.”

I glance at him again seeing his smirk grow at my words. “But you’re going out on a date with someone else?” Lydia asks, now confused.

“It’s not a date, Lyds. And I said yes, to hanging out as friends, before Isaac and I kissed.”

Lydia held her hands up, “Hey I’m not judging. I bet if you gave more people the time you would easily see that there are more than just those two interested in you.”

“Hmm.” I hum, “Probably, but you’re one to talk. Miss prettiest girl in school.”

Lydia rolls her eyes, “I think we may tie for that honor.”

I laugh, “Sure, let’s go with that.” I glance back at Isaac who subtly nods his head and starts walking away, “I’ll see you later Lyds.”

She nods as I walk away, moving towards Isaac. I look around with a small frown on my lips. “Where did he go?” I mumble out starting to move once more. I then feel a hand wrap around my wrist pulling me into an empty classroom. The door closes once I am safety inside.

“I for one, think you’re the prettiest girl in school.” I instantly roll my eyes and lightly shove Isaac’s chest.

“That was cheesy.” I reply as I wrap my arms around his neck. Before he has the chance to reply I gently bring his head down to attach my lips to his. We only break apart when the bell rings. I let out a groan at the sound, not wanting this moment to end.

Isaac lightly chuckles and nudges his nose against my neck. He then presses feather light kisses on my exposed neck and collar-bone as I hum in content and my eyes flutter closed. “We should get to class.” He finally speaks up, though he doesn’t break apart.

“It’s my free period. And you’re already late, might as well skip.” I smirk.

He lets out another laugh, his head falling back and blue eyes lighting up. It brings a smile to my face as I watch him, “You should laugh more. It sounds nice.”

His eyes meet mine once more, “Well if I spend more time with you then you’ll probably be hearing it more often.” We share a smile before he leans back down and reattaches our lips.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Later that day, I was once again in the vet clinic but this time without Derek and Isaac. In their place was Stiles instead. Deaton holds up a vial of clear liquid. We step forward to get a better look. “Ketamine?” Scott asks.

“Same thing we use on dogs. Just a higher dosage.” Deaton confirms. He then hands Scott the vial and a hypodermic, “If you can get close enough to Jackson, it should slow him down enough to buy you some time.”

“Ketamine for the Kanima.” We all throw Scott questioning glances and upon seeing our faces he mutters, “Yeah, that wasn’t funny.”

Deaton then places a glass jar in front of Stiles, it’s filled with the same gray ash from yesterday. “This is a sample of what you’ll use to create the barrier. Now, this part is for you, Stiles and (Y/N).”

My eyes slightly widen, “Does it need to be both of us? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get away from Matt for that long.”

“No, but it needs to be one of you.”

I turn to Stiles who sighs, “That sounds like a lot of pressure. Could we find a slightly less pressure-filled task for me?”

Deaton pours a little bit of the ash into his hand to allow Stiles to get a closer look. “It’s from a mountain ash tree which is believed by many cultures to protect against the supernatural. This office is lined with mountain ash wood which makes it difficult for someone like Scott to cause me any trouble.”

“So I spread this around the whole building and neither Jackson or whoever’s controlling him won’t be able to cross?” Stiles questions.

Deaton nods, “They’ll be trapped.”

“That doesn’t sound too hard.” Scott says.

“That’s not all there is. Think of it like gunpowder. It’s just powder until a spark ignites it. You need to be that spark, Stiles.” Deaton continues.

“If you mean light myself on fire, I’m not sure I’m up for that.”

I giggle and shake my head at the brunette boy. Dr. Deaton speaks up once more, “Let me try a different analogy. I used to play golf. What’s interesting about the best golfers is they never swing without first imagining where they want the ball to go. They see it in their mind. And their mind takes over. It can be pretty extraordinary what the force of your own will can accomplish.”

“Force of will.” Stiles repeats the words the vet said.

“If this is going to work, Stiles, you have to believe it.’

Stiles nods, keeping his gaze locked on the jar of mountain ash, a determined look on his face.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I picked Matt up, having borrowed my moms car for the night. I pull into a space outside the warehouse. As we step out of the car Matt turns to me, “Sorry I couldn’t drive. My dad usually lends me the car.”

I smile, “No worries. I actually really like driving so...” I shrug as I trail off. There is a brief moment of awkward silence. Matt then holds out his hand to me, I lick my lips as I hesitantly take it, readjusting my tank top with my other hand.

Once inside the building the music blasts and my eyes move around to try and spot Jackson or really anyone else that I know.

Finally my eyes meet Matt’s “Did you want to dance?” I question with an awkward smile.

Though Matt doesn’t seem to notice how awkward I seem as he nods his head and moves with me into the crowd.

We bob along to the music, my eyes still moving throughout the room. Once my attention is back on Matt he opens his mouth to say something, but due to the loud volume of the music I can’t make out the words.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks once more, miming drinking from a cup.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” I nod and watch as he moves to another part of the crowded room.

With Matt now gone, I quickly move to blend in with the crowd more. Still dancing to the music so I don’t stick out like a sore thumb.

I finally spot Isaac carrying a limp Jackson, Erica right behind them. I rush over and step into the door with them, “Where’s Scott? I thought he was going to do this?” I question.

“The Argents are here. He said he needed to talk to them.” Isaac replies. Then he glances at me, “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?”

I groan, “It’s not a date. Though I should probably go find him. You two will be okay here?”

The two werewolves nod in agreement. So I turn to leave the room and try to find Matt.

Finally spotting the photography loving boy I make my way over, “Sorry! I got a call from my dad.”

He gives me a questioning glance as he hands me my drink, “It’s fine. Though I never hear you or Scott mention your dad?”

“Uh yeah. It’s... It’s complicated.” I stutter out.

Matt just nods. Once the drinks are finished he hold out his hand once more, “Let’s dance some more? Try and get closer to the DJ?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” I take his hand once again, letting him pull me through the crowd.

We once again start dancing within the crowd. My eyes are still drifting around looking at the people around us, this time more out of awkwardness than trying to spot someone I know.

“You’re not having a good time.” Matt states.

I turn to look at him with shock evident on my face, “Sorry.” I apologize, grimacing.

“What’s wrong?” He questions.

I shrug, “I just have a lot on my mind.” I pause for a brief moment then continue, “Do you ever feel like you have the best intentions but you’re just making mistake after mistake?”

“No. Unlike the rest of humanity Im perfect.”

I smile at the joke, glad that he’s trying to distract me. But the smile is quickly wiped off my face as Matt leans in for a kiss. I lurch back in surprise, “Oh God. That was the worst mistake ever. I’m so totally sorry.”

I shake my head, “No, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay but I...” I take a breath and point behind me, “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Instead of going to the bathroom though I quickly make my way back to the storage room that Jackson is locked in. Just as I reach out to open the door, Stiles, Isaac and Erica run through it. Slamming the door shut as soon as everyone, aside from Jackson, is out.

“Find something to block the door.” Stiles says. But before anyone can follow through, the wall next to the door explodes outwards as Jackson crashes through it.

“What the hell just happened?” I question in shock.”

“He’s a lot stronger than we thought.” Stiles simply answers.

We all rush out, the three others trying to figure out what happened to Jackson while I reluctantly try to find Matt once more. Knowing that i can’t hide from him forever, I am his ride home after all.

#teen wolf imagine #series rewrite #sister mccall imagine #lydia martin imagine #isaac lahey imagine

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

Text

Kyoya's second shot

Episode thirteen: Kyoya's not the villain!

Tw: self harm (mentioned), suicidal thoughts, hallucinations

He didn't not wait outside the club room like he said he would, instead he made his way down to where the middle school kids were being let out. Hanging around near a wall, he watched carefully for Chika, reaching out and pulling the boy aside. The boy glared up at him, pulling his arm away from Kyoya, "what the fuck do you want?"

"Tomorrow. I need you to do it tomorrow."

Chika blinked up at him, surprised, "I'm gonna fight my brother tomorrow?"

Kyoya nodded, "lunchtime session, I need you to run and best your brother. I'll take care of everything else, we need to get a move on with this plan." He saw how the boy's eyes sparkled and smiled, remembering how much he'd hated his own brothers at Chika's age.

"I'll go train some more!"

With that, the boy ran off, clearly excited to beat Honey up. Kyoya chuckled to himself, feeling the autumn breeze in his hair as he sighed, he couldn't relax right now but this would be the perfect weather to do so. He allowed himself a small reprieve as he walked back to the club room, wondering if he'd hear yelling when he returned.

Unfortunately he heard absolutely nothing as he returned to standing outside the club room like a glorified guard dog. A few minutes passed and he heard no yelling still, the door opened and Haruhi left, looking tired but not too upset. She glanced at Kyoya, who had adjusted his posture to loom over her, a smug expression on his face, Haruhi sighed, "I'm sorry for stressing you out, Senpai, I understand you're just worried about him."

Kyoya just scoffed, pacing around her like a cat toying with a mouse, feeling awfully smug- surely Tamaki was single now, "oh don't worry about it, I'm just happy that he's going to be happier now," he practically purred the words out, standing over Haruhi with his hands in his pockets. She stared up at him, clearly not amused.

"I'm still with him, we didn't fight, we had a mature conversation about our emotions," she seemed annoyed by Kyoya's glee, not that it stayed for long… all his joy disappeared as he realised that he was stupid to be so optimistic about things. Haruhi was too smart, Tamaki was so easily tricked by here, Kyoya should have known better. But it hurt, to think that Tamaki was too naive to realise he was being used, his poor sweet friend.

Kyoya was furious, he clenched his firsts and once again had to refrain from punching Haruhi, it was incredibly tempting but he knew that Tamaki would be mad if he did. It seemed Haruhi noticed his rage, sighing sympathetically, “I’m not trying to hurt him, I want him to be happy just as much as you do.” How dare she try to sympathise with him! She doesn’t understand a single thing about how he feels! She doesn’t care about Tamaki in the slightest and trying to pretend she does should be a crime. He hates her so much. It seems she realised how that just made him angrier, patting him on the arm, “I think you might have anger issues, senpai, you should probably work on that,” and with that, she walked away, leaving kyoya stood in an inferno of his own rage, the only thought in his head about how horrible and cruel she was, how disgusting, how disrespectful, how dirty, how-

“Thanks for waiting for me, Kyoya.”

Oh. Kyoya felt his rage vanish as Tamaki patted him on the shoulder, smiling softly. The blonde seemed so pleased and kyoya didn’t have the heart to tell him why he shouldn't be, he just awkwardly nodded, “yeah… of course I would, it’s my job to make sure you’re alright,” he smiles at him, appreciative that Tamaki had chuckled at Kyoya’s feeble attempt a joke, sighing, “I really don’t think this is a good idea…”

The blonde just shrugged, “eh, doesn’t really matter to me, as long as everyone’s happy in the moment, then it’s worth it I think.” Kyoya couldn’t tell him that not everyone was happy with this situation, he’d have to explain why. At least Tamaki would be spending the night at his house, that was the silver lining here. So they began to walk to the limo park, happy to be spending time together either way, even just as friends.

In the limo, neither of them really had a conversation, Tamaki just explained exactly what had happened during his discussion with Haruhi while Kyoya did his best to ignore him. The only thing he could think about was how haruhi was horrible and evil and the worst person he knew, she didn't deserve tamaki if she was going to keep using and hurting him- Kyoya felt this was more than him just having a crush on the blonde here, this was a moral fight, he couldn’t let her keep hurting his best friend, crush or not. Kyoya had to do something.

Shadow king: HURT HER

YOU NEED TO HURT HER

Woman#2: What? What happened?

Shadow king: IT DOESNT MATTER

JUST FUCKING HURT HER

Woman#2: Mentally you mean, or?

Shadow king: I DONT CARE HOW

JUST FUCKING DO IT

Child: oh shit

Woman#2: You're giving us permission to physically hurt her??

Peasant: kyoya wait

think this through

you dont really want to hurt her

youre just angry

Woman#2: Shut the fuck up poor boy.

He’s not going to listen to you.

They made their way inside, Tamaki waved to Fiyumi when he spotted her, she chuckled knowingly and that made Kyoya feel all the worse. She had no clue what kyoya was going through, she had no idea how painful it was for him… not that she had any way of finding out. She approached them smiling, “hi Tamaki, it’s lovely to see you.”

Tamaki beamed, “same to you! How are you doing Fiyumi?” Kyoya felt some sort of way, seeing his family being so casual with Tamaki.

She chuckled, “i’m doing good, thank you,” she paused, glancing to Kyoya for a moment, her eyes turning sympathetic- Kyoya hated it when she did that, “I’m glad you’re keeping an eye on Kyoya, he has been spiralling lately.” she smiled, meaning nothing but good will, fixing Kyoya’s hair for him, but Kyoya was frozen, silently cursing his sister.

Tamaki seemed to be confused, tilting his head in confusion, “do you mean the starving thing?” Oh for fucks sake.

Fiyumi went still, eyes going wide for a second until she grabbed Kyoya by the blazer, looking so very worried. “Have you been starving yourself?? First the cutting and now this?”

Kyoya could practically feel his heartbeat quicken, putting his hands up in surrender, “I didn’t mean to! It was one time!” He hated how shaky his voice sounded, panicked and frantic. Fiyumi paused, letting go of him, looking sad and defeated, she sighed, clearly going to say something when Tamaki cut in.

“You’ve been cutting? Like, on your arms??”

Tamaki sounded so worried, so sad, and it just broke Kyoya’s heart. He could feel himself shaking, mouth opening and closing, unable to get the words out. He knew, oh god he knew… he barely heard Fiyumi clarifying that Tamaki hadn’t known beforehand, sounding so incredibly guilty, he certainly didn’t register her hurried apology- not like it would reverse the damage if he had. Kyoya felt like his knees were about to give way, and he turned and ran up the stairs as fast as he could, Kyoya lacked in a lot of aspects, but one thing he was, was fast. He made his way into his room before collapsing to the floor, completely out of breath and winded, unable to properly catch his breath as his panic attack consumed him.

He knew. Tamaki knew that there was something wrong with Kyoya. Tamaki knew that he was broken, unsavable. There was no way Tamaki could ever love him now. He had lost, thanks to Fiyumi. Tamaki would tell the others, they'd hate him, they’d pity him. The council was right; he was a basket case. He was horrendous, disgusting, hopeless. No one would ever love him- how could they?

Arms wrapped around him, warm and gentle. There were gentle whispers in his ear, soft comforting words that helped drag Kyoya out of his despair. He opened his eyes to see that Tamaki had picked him up from the floor and was holding him, stroking his hair gently. Fiyumi was knelt opposite Kyoya, tears as she kept apologising; she didn’t know, she thought Tamaki knew, she thought- “‘Yumi…” Kyoya mumbled, seeing his big sister in pain made him feel even worse, “please stop… I-... I understand.” He forced himself to smile, for his sister, he knew that she’d realised it was forced, she always knew.

Fiyumi stood up, nodding and patting him on the head, “Alright Kyoya, if you’re sure…”

He nodded, “I am.” Fiyumi took her leave and Tamaki just held him quietly, reminding him to breathe every now and then. Kyoya appreciated that he didn’t say anything about what Fiyumi had said- though he was sure Tamaki wanted to. It took Kyoya a while to fully calm down, he had previously assumed it would be him comforting Tamaki- not the other way around, but he was glad that he could spend some time so close to Tamaki either way.

“Do you want to talk about it today?”

Kyoya shook his head silently, surprised that Tamaki had asked and not insisted- just more reasons that Tamaki was an angel. “No, sorry,” he was surprised to find himself feeling guilty about it, he was fine with not talking about it when Tamaki didn’t know, but now it felt like he was lying by omission- though he knew that wasn’t how lies of omission worked, he worked with those all the time.

“Alright, as long as you feel safe, tell me if you need anything, alright?” kyoya nodded in response, definitely feeling a lot safe now he was in Tamaki’s arms, such a wonderful place to be. Tamaki’s words were warm, his tone was soft and caring, the barest undertones of his natural accent making him sound just as fresh and new as the first day he’d met him. Kyoya loved this boy with his entire heart, he’d do anything forTamaki... even he didn’t know where the line was drawn.

They watched some cartoons, he usually didn’t enjoy such mindless entertainment, but it was nice to take his mind off the situation, not to mention hearing Tamnaki’s wonderful laughter made every worry melt away. Fiyumi had made them both some hot chocolate as an apology, making it the same way their mother used to- that was incredibly comforting as well. Kyoya could definitely fall asleep like this, Tamaki didn’t let him out of his arms for the entire evening, always keeping at least one hand on him at all times. He really appreciated Tamaki's care for him, glad to have someone willing to slow down and do things at Kyoya's pace.

Falling asleep in Tamaki's arms wasn't really something Kyoya had done before, sure he'd dreamed about it, but it was never something that had actually occured… but as Kyoya leant his head back onto Tamaki and felt his eyelids grow increasingly heavy, he felt like it was the most natural thing in the world. Tamaki had one arm around him, and the other was playing with his hair, the boy was humming a melody to Kyoya, a kind of lullaby, specially to help him relax. Kyoya wondered if there was any way this night could have ended differently, and he really didn't think so.

Kyoya's dreams were filled with princes and crimson ribbons, he dreamt of huge pink castles and the kings that ruled them- and their filthy, common queens that wanted only success. Kyoya wanted to save the king, to cherish him, but the ribbons held him back, branding him unstable, the villain, he didn't understand why he was so evil for wanting someone to be loved. He wasn't being selfish, he swore he wasn't! The thought of the king being used would turn his stomach even if every feeling was platonic… even if he had no proof of such a thing. It wasn't his fault, he couldn't control how he felt, why was the castle crumbling under his feet? Why were the ribbons tying tighter and tighter? Why couldn't he breathe?

He woke up.

#kyoya ootori #tamaki souh #ouran high school host club #tamakyo #haruhi fujioka #chika haninozuka #fiyumi ootori #Second

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anotherhawk · 5 years

Text

Family by Association - Good Omens fanfiction

Left to his own devices there was no particular reason for Warlock Dowling to be in any way supernaturally remarkable. Genetically he came from the Youngs, a perfectly innocuous lineage, and he had been raised as the only child of the US ambassador and his philanthropic wife, which might have predisposed him to be an entitled little shit, but still didn’t convey any inherent magical power. The problem was that Warlock had very much not been left to his own devices. No, Warlock had been primarily raised by two supernaturally remarkable beings who had expected him to possess the power to bend reality to his every whim, and, as has been amply demonstrated elsewhere, the expectations of such beings has a power of its own.

Read it on AO3 here or below the cut

Left to his own devices there was no particular reason for Warlock Dowling to be in any way supernaturally remarkable. Genetically he came from the Youngs, a perfectly innocuous lineage, and he had been raised as the only child of the US ambassador and his philanthropic wife, which might have predisposed him to be an entitled little shit, but still didn’t convey any inherent magical power.1 The problem was that Warlock had very much not been left to his own devices. No, Warlock had been primarily raised by two supernaturally remarkable beings who had expected him to possess the power to bend reality to his every whim, and, as has been amply demonstrated elsewhere, the expectations of such beings has a power of its own.

Warlock Dowling was not the antichrist. But he had grown up soaked in angelic and demonic power and to put it plainly, some of it had stuck. And that was how at the age of eleven years old Warlock was fully capable of walking straight past the two secret service agents who were supposedly guarding him, his bickering parents who were supposed to notice him, and the new au pair that was supposed to be taking care of him, hailing a cab to Dulles International airport, flashing the black Amex card he’d borrowed from his father2 getting on a flight to London Heathrow, and spending the next eight hours sitting in first class, playing Fortnite and being brought glasses of Coke by flight attendants who kept forgetting to ask if he was an unaccompanied minor.

Having established the ‘how’ of this situation, let’s take a step back and consider the ‘why’. Warlock had been having a very weird couple of months, even by his own admittedly broad standards. Having been born in the UK and lived all his life there he had, shortly after his birthday party, been dragged by his parents first to some boring ruins where a man with weird eyes (properly weird-weird, not just cool-weird like his Nanny’s) had taken an uncomfortable interest in him and the dog he didn’t have, and then to Washington DC, because his father didn’t have a job anymore…or maybe did, but no-one knew what it was? It was all very confusing. None of the adults seemed to know what was going on anymore than he did, and Mom and Dad were shouting at each other a lot, and these were the sort of times when Nanny Ash would take him outside to the orchard and let him yell at the trees, and make him that hot chocolate that had little glowing stars bubbled through it, and just listen to him, but he didn’t have a nanny anymore. When he’d asked Mom what had happened to her she’d just looked at him blankly and then a couple of days later he’d had an au pair named Sherry. And Sherry was nice enough, but she didn’t know how to make hot chocolate properly, and she’d screamed when he tried to introduce her to the garden snails.

He wanted to go home. Back where his friends were. Back where Nanny Ash was and Brother Francis the gardener. They’d always been there, as long as he could remember. His first memory was of Nanny Ash giving him an ice lolly on a hot day. He’d eaten it too slowly, trying to save it, and the last little bit had fallen off the stick and onto the ground, and he’d been about to cry when suddenly the lolly had been whole again, like he’d never even given it a lick, and he’d looked up into Nanny Ash’s warm golden eyes and she’d given him a slow wink.3 Nanny had been the one to take him to and from his first day of school, and she’d been the one who’d calmed everything down after he’d thrown a tantrum at his kindergarten teacher for labelling the picture he’d drawn of himself holding hands with a tall, thin dark blob and a smaller, rounder white blob as ‘Mummy and Daddy’. She and Brother Francis had been the ones to teach him how to ride a bike, she’d been the one who’d nursed him through the chicken pox while Brother Francis fretted and brought horrible soup. When he’d been playing at Spiderman and he’d fallen off the roof of the house it had been Nanny Ash who had caught him, despite having been at the other end of the garden at the time. That had also been one of the only times she’d raised her voice at him. It had certainly been the only time he’d seen her shaking like that.

He knew what being home felt like, and he was quite happy to follow that feeling all the way across the Atlantic and onto a bus driven by a man who had previously been going to Oxford but who was now following a satnav that was confused to find itself giving directions to a vague and mobile point in a stern Scottish voice.

In that way Warlock found his way to Tadfield, only a couple of miles from the place he’d been born.

This was also the point where he first started considering what he was doing. So far this had all been an excellent adventure but now, fourteen hours and around forty unanswered calls later, he had to admit to himself he wasn’t quite sure how this was going to end. He’d wanted to Get Away and to Go Home, but now he was in a place he’d never been before, he was tired and fed up, he had no idea where he was going to sleep tonight, and Mom was going to be furious when he finally got around to answering his phone.

He stared at the tiny house across the street. Jasmine Cottage, it said. It looked like the sort of place his nanny wouldn’t be caught dead in. But the Feeling he was following was all he had to go on, so he walked through the gate and stopped as he heard voices and shrieks coming from around the back. Not sure what to expect, he sneaked around the side of the house – he was good at sneaking, he could get past the secret service, after all – and peeked around the corner into the back yard.

There was a whole group of people there. There were four kids, three boys and a girl, all running around with ice cream cones and water balloons while a small dog barked madly, jumping around at their ankles. And then there were six adults, sitting in deckchairs with wine glasses, talking quietly. He looked them over – there were only two women and neither of them were his nanny, one being too old, and the other too young. But that Feeling was still there…he Looked closer, his brow creased and there were four men, two of whom he ignored immediately, but the other two…one was shiny and soft like Brother Francis was, and the other one….oh, the other one…

As he watched one of the kids stumbled and dropped his ice cream, and in an instant it was in the man-who-was-his-nanny’s hand, and he was handing it back with a smirk and – even though Warlock couldn’t hope to see his eyes behind those sunglasses he was sure – a wink.

Angry tears sprung to his eyes and he pressed his hands over his mouth. Nanny Ash was a man, well, he’d seen Mrs Doubtfire, he could cope with that. But Nanny Ash had abandoned him and found other kids to take care of without even giving him a second thought…he ran.

If Warlock had waited for even a moment longer he would have seen her head snap up and round to look directly at him, before jumping to her feet and snapping her fingers. A moment after that a water balloon burst exactly where her head had just been.

From Warlock's point of view though what happened was that when he ran around the corner Nanny Ash was standing by the front gate. Sort of, anyway. Her hair was long again, pulled up into a severe bun, and she was wearing red lipstick, but she was still wearing the tight trousers and suit jacket she had been before, and she was leaning against the wall in a way that he’d thought she never would.

He stopped and stared. She stared right back.

“Warlock,” she said at last, abandoning her nonchalance to lead down in front of him, her hand gripping his shoulder. “What the blessed hell are you doing here? Where are your parents?”

“Like you care,” he muttered sulkily, pulling away and marching straight past her. His eyes were burning and he had no idea where he was going, he just wanted to get away.

“What…?” He could hear her footsteps clacking just behind him. “Of course I care, what’s wrong?”

He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He didn’t want her to see him anymore, and he tried to make himself unnoticed the way he had before, tried to wrap himself in the way his parents' eyes glazed over whenever they were forced to spend some time with him, but Nanny Ash was in front of him again, kneeling down on the pavement, holding her hand out towards him.

“Hey. No. None of that,” she said fiercely. “That’s not going to work, I will always see you.”

“Then why did you leave?” he demanded, his voice cracked. “You weren’t even at my birthday. You just let them take me away, and it sucks and I hate it.”

He was pulled into a familiar, bony hug. “Oh, Warlock,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. Things got very odd after the last time I saw you, and by the time they were sorted you were safe in America with your parents. I thought you’d be better off without me mucking you about.”

“But you didn’t ask,” he said furiously, even as he leaned in against her shoulder. “No one ever asks.”

There was a long pause. She held him tighter. “You’re right. That was stupid of me.”

“And I saw you with those other kids,” he went on, through the lump in his throat. “You were being nice to them. You fixed the ice cream.”

“Oh, Warlock.” She sighed, produced a handkerchief out of nowhere, and dabbed the tears away from his eyes. “I've cared for a lot of children in my life, and none of that changes the way I feel about you.”

He swallowed hard. “Do you….do you not want to be my nanny anymore?”

“Do you even want a nanny anymore?” she asked, pulling back a little to look at him. “You’re getting older, darling child.”

He was. None of his friends had nannies anymore, and he’d taken to calling her ‘Old Ash’ and laughing about it when he was talking to them, but that didn’t mean he wanted her gone. It wasn’t good when she was gone. “You don’t need to be my nanny! You could just be like…a friend. A friend who takes care of me.”

There was another moment of silence and she looked at him , her lips pursed. “Alright then.” She reached up to her glasses and, frightened, he held his hand out to stop her. She froze. “Sorry.”

“There are people around,” he hissed, looking around the street. No-one was looking at them right at that moment, but he knew Nanny didn’t like anyone knowing about her eyes. “They’ll see.”

“Oh.” She smiled at him. “They can’t see us right now. It’s like what you did, only broader.” She reached up again and this time he let her take the glasses off and looked straight into the yellow eyes he’d only ever seen a few times in his life. “Now. Warlock Dowling, I swear to you on my own name that I will always be your friend, and I will always care for you as long as you live and as long as you want me in your life.”

He felt something. A sort of hissing or sizzling in the back of his brain, not unpleasant, but like something was settling in there. “Oh,” he said, echoing her. “Should I swear too?”

“You can say ‘fuck’ if you like,” she told him comfortably. “But no, I don’t need any vow from you and it’s not legally binding on kids anyway.”

“Fuck,” he said, just to see her smile. “You said you swore on your name…is Ashtoreth your name?”

“No…well, sort of, but my real name, the name I chose is Anthony J. Crowley. You can still call me Ash if you like though. Or Nanny. Both are fine.”

“Anthony is a boys name,” he told her, which was sort of close to the question he wanted to ask but couldn’t quite pluck up the nerve.

“No, it’s my name,” she said patiently, and before he could say anything else went on,” Sometimes I’m a man, sometimes I’m a woman, sometimes I’m both, sometimes I’m neither. Sometimes I’m a snake.”

That…was a lot. He wasn’t quite sure what to feel about it. “I always thought you had to be one thing and stick to it.”

She shrugged. “A lot of people think that. It’s not true though. You can always change who you are if you really want to, and if you’re ready to really work at it. It’s part of being alive. Brother Francis would say it’s ineffable.” Her eyes narrowed to slits. “And then I’d have to throw something at him.”

He laughed a little. “I saw him in the garden. Does he have another name too?”

“Aziraphale,” she told him, smiling.

“Aziraphale,” he repeated slowly, giving it a couple of tries before he was sure of the pronunciation. “When you’re a snake are you a boy snake or a girl snake?”

She opened her mouth and then frowned. “Do you know, I’m not that sure? I’ve never thought about it before. I’m just sort of a snake. Snakes don’t spend a lot of time thinking about their identities.”

“Can you teach me how to be a snake?” he asked, suppressing a yawn.

“Maybe. We’ll see,” she said, which was as good as a promise, really. “Now, you’ve had a very long day, haven’t you, so why don’t we go back to see Aziraphale and his friends and we’ll get you a snack and something to drink and I’ll phone your mother while you have a nap.”

He pulled a face. “So you’re still going to be a bit my nanny then?”

“You asked me to take care of you,” she said serenely, standing up, putting her sunglasses back on and brushing a hand through his hair. Immediately he felt relaxed and refreshed and he swayed, leaning into her as they walked back towards the house he’d run from. “Oh, you are tired,” she murmured.

He didn’t bother replying and before he knew it they were back in the garden, and the kids were staring at him curiously, and the two men he didn’t know were making confused noises at Nanny…Crowley…Ash.

“Crowley!” Francis – Aziraphale – said, sounding cross. “You can’t just stop time whenever you want to change your hair – although it does look lovely, dear – “

“ – Angel,” Crowley interrupted, her hand firmly on Warlock’s shoulder. “You remember Warlock. He’s just popped over from America to see us. And we’re very pleased to see him, aren’t we?”

Aziraphale blinked at Crowley for a bit and then made that face that grown-ups made when they wanted private time4 and turned his attention to Warlock. “Well,” he beamed. “It is lovely to see you again. Are you, erm, staying long?”

“Dunno,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m going to call his mother and figure some things out,” she said, running a soothing finger across the back of Warlock’s collar. “Could you get Warlock a drink and something to eat?”

“Of course.” Aziraphale held out a hand towards him in the way that Brother Francis always had when he was young. “There’s some lovely strawberry cake left, I think. You don’t mind, do you, Anathema?”

The younger woman spread her hands helplessly. “No, go ahead. I guess I need to get used to surprises. Crowley, has anyone ever told you you’re too tall for those heels?”

Crowley glanced back. “No.”

She nodded. “Good.”

There was indeed strawberry cake. It was indeed lovely. As he was eating it the four kids and the dog came marching up, staring at him like he was a particularly interesting looking snail.

“I’m Adam Young,” the blond curly one said, his head cocked to one side. “I reckon we’ve met before, a long time ago.”

He hesitated for a second, listening to his Feelings. “I’m Warlock Dowling,” he said, holding out his hand. “And yeah, I think we did.”

1Riches and magic are functionally very different although to the disinterested observer the effects appear identical insofar as that their possessor doesn’t appear to be beholden to the same rules as the rest of us.

2He had indeed borrowed the card, rather than stealing it, in that he’d waited until his father was on a call with the president before saying “Dad, can I have this?” and taking the dismissive hand wave and slammed door as a ‘yes’. He had been raised by an angel, so he knew that Stealing Is Wrong. He had also been raised by a demon, so he knew that if people who should be paying attention aren’t paying attention then it’s really their own look out.

3Warlock had read plenty of improving children’s literature recommended by Brother Francis. He was well aware that nanny’s were supposed to be magical. Since that fit in perfectly with his own experience he had never bothered giving it a second thought. There were many things that young Warlock hadn’t bothered giving a second thought. He wasn’t stupid, simply self-involved.

4Warlock thought this meant arguing. The reader may make up their own mind.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #warlock dowling #ineffable husbands #genderfluid crowley #nanny crowley #my writing

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

Do you like Chanel purses? no

When was the last time you had Pepsi? ages ago

Do you know anyone with exaggeratedly big muscles? not personally

What is your favorite endangered animall? elephant

Can you name someone with the same last name as you? my parents

Who was the last person to scream your name? ...

By the way, that wasnt meant to be perverted. too late I have no idea why I thought about that - no one ever screamed my name this way and nobody ever will :x

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? it seems Name something that you are doing tonight. nothing and I realized that I don’t want to go to sleep more than ever before, I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow and yet I’m scared of dying (suffering)

Do you like the smell of a barbecue? nah

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? too young for me Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? words I guess Do you have an easy time falling asleep? I wish Are you a crier? crybaby Do you like to wear makeup? no Do you have a high tolerance for people? pfft Do you like your bed? why not How many times have you been to the ER? few

Are you wearing shorts? basically never

Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? ...

Did you have trouble getting up this morning? yeah What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? cute little dogs Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? do I? I like to hold hands tho What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive? dumb, I hate perfume but expensive - that is ridiculous! Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’m just a cautious person in general If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? love of my life, I mean - we can live together but for now it would be cool if we were neighbors at least, you know what I mean? Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think your pretty? what friends... Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? maybe mom about that one particular thing that starts on S and ends with X

What is your opinion on air pollution? less cars!

Were you forced to read ‘The Odyssey’ in high school? from what I remember

Who was the last person to come visit you? M.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? recently

Do you own any superhero shirts? nope

What is your opinion on the “Team Edward/Team Jacob” shirts? I dislike Twilight

If you had to teach a class, what would you teach? if I really had to then art

How did your parents meet each other? personal

What profession do you think is the most under-appreciated? garbage collectors, those who clean the streets or hospitals, postmen etc.

Have you ever drawn on someone while they were sleeping? don’t do that

Does time really heal all wounds? Or is that just a trivial saying? trivial saying

Where is your favorite place to take a nap? I don’t do naps but my bed

Would you rather lose all your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? not be able to make new

Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I don’t drive

What’s a tradition you hope never dies out? it’s a secret

Do you have any exes you’d consider dating again? I’m dating my ex

Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? yes Do you think you could go a week without sugar? without sweets? I already do, I don’t even drink tea with sugar Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? absolutely Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? whatever Are you any good at sewing? I know basics Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? this year Do you carry a calculator around with you everywhere? I don’t need it that often Do you like to plan things out or just go with the flow? plan but not strictly

Do you garden at all? If so, what types of things do you grow? I help my parents which I find pointless because there is always much more work than results Do you consider cooking to be an art? when done right How many pairs of sunglasses do you own? too many considering that I barely wear ‘em ^^” Are you a fast or slow reader? fast Would you ever spend $500 on concert tickets? hell no Do you know anyone who looks like you? there was a gal who was similar to me on tumblr but younger than me, I lost contact with her Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? yeah :( Are you a short tempered person? oh well...

Does it take a lot to gross you out? I’m easily grossed out Last time you seen an ocean: never saw ocean in person Do you collect sea shells? not as much as I used to

What is one change you need to make in your life this month? lets not talk about it, ok?

Would you have sex with the last person you texted? done Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? she’s gonna be busy working Do you require a lot of private time? yasss Have you ever told a guy you were a lesbian to get him to leave you alone? it’s because I’m a lesbian lmfao If you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? in my most fav shows plot was more important to me than characters tbh, it’s hard to explain, I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this way haha but in Buffy I didn’t like Xander and Angel was annoying even though he was necessary, I wasn’t a fan of Faith and didn’t understand Riley existence in the universe, also Dawn changed a lot for worse but I swallowed it with patience, in Call the midwife I felt crappy when they took Chummy and Jenny away, I didn’t watch newest episodes so I have no idea who Lucille and Valerie are, I horribly miss sister Evangelina :(

What’s the best part about flying? don’t ask me, I’ve never been on a plane

Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? fragments

Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? vanilla

If you had to get glasses would you wear contacts? I’d prefer glasses

Are mac’s really better than PC’s? I’m a PC gal

D0 y0u l1k3 t0 t@lk l1k3 a 5c3n3 k1d? *cringe*

When you were red and green clothes do you feel like a Christmas Tree? lol

What TV show has the best theme song? hard choice

New Year’s Plans? I don’t plan to live that long

Would you agree that Sex and The City is the best show ever? no way, I didn’t even care enough to watch one episode of it

Do you call your friends with red hair “ranga’s”? wtf

Have you ever been surfing? me? surfing? r u kidding?

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? excuse me, I’m into women exclusively

Name a thing in your room that other probably don’t have in theirs: me ha!

What’s your best jacket like? comfy :3

What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? nothing

If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? I have couple of ideas ;)

What is the worst thing that happened so far today? my failed appointment as I didn’t get any answers nor help for my heart condition and allergies and that was the last attempt, I have no other ways of fixing things to survive next months, my life;s officially over, I only have suffering and fear left, I’m a burden and I want to kill myself sooner than food or cardiac arrest

Did that ruin your day? it ruined my LIFE

What’s something good you’re looking forward to? sweet relieve of death?...

What’s something that you think is really cute?

*wish it was mine

Describe your feet: eww, why, better not

If you see somebody crying, do you start crying too? depends

How do you like your hoodies? oversized, without kangaroo pocket in front and/or a zipper, yuk

Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? it is to me at least

Were you a cute baby? I was a red haired potato

Are you talking to anybody right now? online

How tall are your tallest socks? I kept my rainbow knee high socks but I don’t use them anymore

Are you waiting for a phone call? at night?...

Do you look forward to swimsuit season, or get really nervous? I was skipping swimsuit seasons for over 10 years until this summer - I bought the cheapest and went to stand/walk in the water and sit on a beach despite my insecurities

If you could live for a year with any foreign family, where would you go? don’t wanna, scary

What do you wish people would pay you to do? browse the internet XD

Do you take good pictures? I try

Should you be doing something else right now? wash my hair, drink water, commit suicide - who knows

Did that question make you nervous? that question made me sad

Why don’t girls like porn? some enjoy it

Tell me a memory of this summer: this summer is all about romantic love, illnesses and nostalgy

Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? a waste but still pretty, sorry love, I know you’d be irritated so don’t worry - I will never do smth like that to ya

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calliecosplay · 6 years

Photo

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your unending love, support, & help with everything during this difficult time. Thank you for believing in me & helping me believe in myself so that I can continue to push through these obstacles we're dealing with. Something bad happened & I'm so saddened to ask for immediate help right now. This is an absolute emergency. I was bitten by our pet dog. He may have rabies. Animal control took him today to observe him and his aggressive behavior. My hand is looking awful & I can’t write or play my clarinet, but I’m used to pain anyway with EDS, IC, & endo…so I’m fine. I’m more emotionally hurt for many reasons. I’m very upset & heartbroken that Aaland would hurt me, but he has been aggressive towards me ever since I came home from the hospital after the miscarriage. I’m devastated that this would happen. More importantly, I regret to say this has caused a massive divide in my relationship with the man I was planning to marry and spend the rest of my life with. It’s crazy to think that I’d be pregnant with our child now. Anyway, he has changed significantly in how he treats me. He is blaming me for everything & asking me to leave on a plane back to Florida. I’m so devastated that I cannot comprehend what has happened. More details on how I was bitten below. But yeah, like, I never once thought for an instant that my safety & health would mean so little to the man who I truly believed loved me & had me as his top priority (under himself). I’m stunned. If something like this happened & Oaklynn attacked him viciously & wounded him, there would be absolutely no question or doubt in my mind on what to do. Adam means more to me than Oaklynn. He means the world to me & I would do anything for him. I love him with all of my heart & he’s given me a happiness & joy that I never even knew existed. He has helped with my health so much. He’s truly saved my life. It’s disgusting and so cruel to my heart to come to the realization this week that I don’t mean more to Adam than Aaland (dog), & while I’ve tried to point this out to him, it’s always an argument about how that isn’t true but I am, according to him, the only person he loves more than the dog. He told me if a gun was up to his dad’s head, he would still pick the dog. I told him families stay by each other and support each other. I was significantly wounded, & I am terrified & afraid of Aaland now that he’s bitten me. I love him so much & I don’t want anything to happen to him. Training so he doesn’t bite. He is a wonderful, sweet dog. He’s unfixed & jealous of me & Oaklynn, which has drawn out the aggressive episodes. When Adam saw what happened, he freaked out & was devastated Aaland would hurt me & Adam stepped in to defend me. But now, he is blaming me for everything, saying this is what I wanted, blah, blah. It’s so heart wrenching & unbelievable. I felt safe up here in South Dakota, in a home that Adam & I had made together with our furbabies. I feel like the family has been divided & that Adam refuses to even listen to my feelings or consider my health & wellbeing. He says I did this. But, I don’t understand & my heart hurts so much. I couldn’t have even imagined anything like this happened. Adam told me to let him punish him bc the dog has been abused in the past & gets mean & aggressive. I didn’t listen to him this time & I took a much safer & nicer approach for punishing that I learned from a dog trainer (this is when Aaland attacked my right hand/wrist). Adam has been telling me all week that I’m overreacting & way overexaggerating the bite. Well, several police officers (women & men) & animal control said no, I’m not. It’s a deeply bruised wound in my hand with multiple possible dislocations due to my EDS. There are like 8-12 puncture wounds. I felt so relieved & validated because Adam made me feel so horrible & like I was lying to get attention from the dog bite and milk how bad it was, when I just wanted him to look at it, acknowledge it, & try to understand why I’m scared. So it is a serious bite, confirmed by police & animal control. Adam cannot even admit that and say that to my face. He has said that I’m outta here & on a plane to Florida soon though. SO YEAH, I’m freaking out a bit. A lot. But really….I’m sorry. I love animals, but there is no question. Straight up human lives matter more than animals. My mobility has taken decreased significantly, causing me to have a number of problems, from getting out of bed to walk to the bathroom, to opening my medicine bottles & carrying around my basket of meds. I’ve fallen repeatedly over & over & over again the past week, as well as falling down the stairs multiple times, which Aaland actually liked my face to wake me up from that. Aaland is a good dog, loves me, & I love him. He just has really bad aggressive episodes targeted towards me & poor Oaklynn. I don’t know why. After all of this stress, my EDS has reached what has now become the worst & most dangerous levels I’ve yet to face with this progressive, debilitating disease. My knees are pictured after the dislocations & consecutive falls due to my EDS. They are now bruised over, much darker & purple. I need immediate help with my health & finances. It’s also reaching end of month, when my (roughly) $500 Cobra health insurance bill is due. Disability is taking so long, which is why I’m prompted to come here for help. There’s a set goal on here for a reason, & we need help reaching it. I would not be posting about this if it wasn’t an absolute emergency. This is having a detrimental effect on my physical & mental health. I am terrified & I’m struggling to not lose it. I don’t even know if I have a home now. I don’t know if I’m staying in South Dakota or flying back to Florida tomorrow. IDK. The panic attacks are never ending. If you are able, please help. Whether it’s by sharing, keeping up to date, or donating. ~ There are digital bundles of my artwork in Callie's Closet (since I cannot currently [physically] complete print orders and ship them out or ship out Patreon Rewards due to my health). These digital bundles & digital print sets on Patreon are 100% going towards my medical funds as donations. I wanted to offer an option for ya'll to receive some of my artwork digitally by contributing as opposed to donating & supporting that way only. Go here: https://calliescloset.storenvy.com/ ~ You can also contribute by donating to my PayPal & (be sure to use the friends/family option since I consider ya'll & all of my followers fellow geeky friends anyway). I have 2 emails: [email protected] OR [email protected]. ~ Here's my linktree where you can find all my other links and such. ^.^ https://linktr.ee/calliecosplay

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jiminisjamin · 6 years

Text

The Truth About Steve.

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Requested: No.

Summary: On her first day back at work, she thinks something is off about the new employee, Steve. He doesn’t ever seem to know what he’s doing and seems lost, hurt, and confused- that’s what drew her to him. A magnetic pull that, despite y/n’s efforts, she couldn’t seem to shake. She felt something deep within her soul that she couldn’t ignore- even when he wasn’t around she was thinking about him. So, what is it? And what’s that faint, faint blue light that seems to encircle him wherever he goes?

Warnings: None.

Rating: Fluff.

Word Count: 3,264

Title: The Truth About Steve | Part One (of 3)

Castiel's eyes begin to flutter shut as he leans against the checkout counter, his heart beating slowly and his head bobbing as he slowly drifts off. A weak voice in the back of his head fights with him to stay awake as he hears footsteps nearing him, but he simply rests his chin in his hand. "Hello," he murmurs. "What can I do for you today? Checking out? Cash or..." He shakes his head, his eyes briefly fluttering open at the sound of quiet laughter.

"You're the new guy, huh?" Castiel blinks a few times, standing up a little straighter. "Oh. Hello," he extends his hand in greeting. "I'm-"

"Steve. I can see your name tag," she laughs slightly, reaching out and shaking his hand before giving him another smile. "You looked beat- what happened? Did you stay up too late?" Castiel pauses, unsure what the correct response would be. Does he tell her he doesn’t have a place to stay, let alone enough money for the essentials of human living, or does he lie? He pauses as he slowly realizes he doesn't even know what humans would do late at night, and instead shrugs, faltering slightly.

"I didn't sleep well. I'm...in between homes right now." He casts his gaze away, and y/n frowns, tilting her head at him. Her heart swells slightly as she takes in his helpless, broken demeanor and she puts her hand on his shoulder sympathetically.

"We've all been there," she whispers, unable to ignore the tug at her heartstrings when he meets her gaze. "If you need help, let me know." Castiel tilts his head.

"You don't know me," his gaze flickers to her nametag. "Y/n, you do not know me." His gaze slides back to her, his eyes darkening slightly. "I could be dangerous," chills run up her spine at the way his voice drops an octave, yet his lips turn up in a quirky, lopsided half-grin, and he turns his gaze to the ground again. "Not that I am," he says quickly. "But I could be." Y/n laughs and shakes her head.

"For some reason I highly doubt that," she regards the faint glow around him, her eyes shining. "There’s something about you...I can't quite place it, but you seem good." Castiel’s eyes light up at this, and he smiles softly again.

"I'm glad you're not frightened of me." His eyes close again, and he sways slightly, gripping the counter for support. "Sorry- don't worry about me, I'm fine." He waves his hand as she approaches behind the counter, reaching out and grabbing hold of him to try and steady him.

"You don't look too good, Steve." She tightens her grip on his arm when he lurches forward, and she shakes her head. "Okay, that's it. We're closing early- come on, I'm gonna get you back to where you’re staying so I know you didn't die on the way." Castiel shakes his head slightly

"You can't do that," his breath comes out raspy, and y/n nods.

"Yes, I can- and I will."

"No, you..." He looks down at her. "When I said I'm in between homes- I don't have one y/n, as in- no friends, no family…I don’t have anywhere," she blinks a few times, her gaze falling on the dimming light around him, a small, low static him filling her ears.

"Well...then...you're coming home with me," she tugs his arm lightly. "Come on, I want to make sure you're okay. I can...I can make you some soup? You can camp out on my couch or something until you find a place." Castiel turns his gaze to her once more. Her heart beats quickly at the desperate look in his eyes, his obvious want for food and a warm place to stay battling with the doubts swirling around in his head.

"Steve, please." He blinks a few times, casting his gaze away and sighing.

"That's very kind of you," he replies. "I am forever grateful." She smiles and helps guide him out to her car, making sure there are no customers on her way, and locking up once they are outside. He practically falls into the passenger seat, his head falling back and eyes closing instantly, a small grunt falling past his lips. She smiles to herself, shutting the door after him and moving quickly over to her door, climbing in.

"If you end up being a murderer I'm going to be so angry," she mutters, eliciting a laugh from his direction, followed by a deep sigh. She glances over at him once more before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. Castiel grins again, his eyes involuntarily closing as the radio quietly hums to life.

“Mmm. It’s a good thing I’m not,” he replies softly, pausing before turning his gaze to her. “I’m very…pleasantly surprised by your kindness, y/n. In only a few weeks I’ve been shown kindness that revives my faith in this world.” Y/n blushes slightly and turns on her right turn single.

“Well…thank you. I’m just doing the right thing,”

“What if it’s not safe?”

“Well…I don’t know. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt- you don’t seem bad.” Y/n looks away from the road to meet his gaze and smiles. “I guess I trust you? It’s not like we’re total strangers- we’ve been around each other a bit.” Castiel smiles softly and lets ’s his eyes close again. He hums contently, the cool air blowing some of his hair around a bit.

“That’s true,” he replies softly. “We haven’t talked much, but we’ve worked with each other for a while.”

“We haven’t talked because you’ve never answered me. It’s like you don’t know how to talk to girls or something.” Castiel’s cheeks heat up and he hangs his head in shame, his demeanor once again resembling a kicked-puppy.

“My…social skills are rusty,” he mumbles softly, his hand twitching slightly as a sad look crosses his face. He lifts his head up, eyes shiny, and turns his gaze to the car’s sunroof, staring at the sky as stars and street lamps fly past them. “I’m not too good with people,” he clarifies. “I’ve had a sort of…crutch ever since I’ve been here, and…” his voice trails off. “And now I don’t.” Y/n nods, but stays silently, keeping her gaze on the road. “It’s overwhelming,” he continues, “there are so many things you have to worry about. Food, shelter, clean clothes…” He sighs. “And on top of all of that, you have to…interact with others in a way that won’t offend them. Or scare them.”

“Steve?” She asks softly. “Is this the first time you’ve been on your own?” Castiel pauses and then nods.

“Yes. I had…well, I used to have a great deal of power, and I gave it up for what I thought was right, and for my friends. And, well, I still had my power but not the same position. Now I don’t have power, and…now my friends,” his eyes shine more as he stares at the sky, “they kicked me out of their place.” Y/n frowns.

“So, you sacrificed everything for them, and once you lost this…power, they just dumped you on the side of the road?” Castiel nods.

“Basically, yes.”

“Steve…” she shakes her head. “I’m so sorry- that’s not…that’s horrible. What kind of friend…”

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Castiel interjects. “He wouldn’t have done it if there wasn’t a reason.” Y/n can’t help but notice the hope in his voice and she briefly turns her gaze to him.

“You don’t know though?”

“No, not really.”

There’s a long stretch of comfortable silence, both thinking about the other as y/n drives.

Castiel can’t keep his mind off how nervous he seems to be around her- and how genuinely kind she is to take him in like this, let him stay at her place- still with an underlying fear of something bad waiting for him at the house.

Y/n can’t wrap her head around why she’s so drawn to Steve- sure, he’s handsome, but she usually doesn’t throw trust at strangers like this. But something about Steve feels…safe, familiar, even. Yet she can’t figure out what, or why. She sighs, her grip tightening around the wheel slightly. She notices Steve’s eyes closing, and his head bobbing slightly as he slowly dozes off. Her eyebrows pull together slightly at the ever-dimming light surrounding him, not thinking as she reaches out to feel it, curiosity getting the best of her.

Her hand hovers just over his shoulder, a light tingle traveling up her arm, causing her to gasp. Steve jerks awake, his eyes widening as he pulls away from her slightly, his hand grabbing her wrist.

“I-I’m sorry,” she pulls her hand away quickly, her cheeks heating up as she turns her attention to the road. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, I just…” Her voice trails off, and Steve shivers slightly.

“It’s fine, y/n. You didn’t mean any harm…” He stretches in the limited space he has, a loud sigh escaping his lips. “I’m just very tired.” She glances over at him, frowning.

“You look kinda pale,” she murmurs.

As she pulls into her apartments parking lot, she glances over at him worriedly. She quickly parks and reaches over, lightly feeling his forehead.

“Oh, Steve,” she sighs, pulling her hand away and frowning. “You have a fever.” Castiel frowns, the same puppy dog expression crossing his face.

“A fever?”

“Yeah, you’re sick.” She sighs and opens her door. “Come on, I have some ibuprofen inside- it’ll help with the fever.” Castiel sighs, pushing the door open and practically rolling out of the car, barely catching himself on the door.

“I’m never sick,” he mumbles, holding his head slightly. “This is horrible.” Y/n rushes over to his side and grabs his arm.

“Come on, Steve. Let’s get you up to my room- if you want I could make soup, or…”

“No, no! Please, you’re already offering me a place to stay- and giving me medicine. You don’t need to do anything else for me.” Castiel replies quickly, guilt forming in the pit of his stomach.

“But, I must have dinner anyways, Steve. I might as well…” She looks hopefully at him, his quickly dulling blue gaze turning to her.

“I…y/n, I…” He sighs, his eyes fluttering shut. “I think I need to sit down,” he reaches out for the car to steady himself, and y/n’s eyes widen as her grip tightens on his arm.

“Okay, okay, come on. I’m taking you up.”

Castiel practically collapses onto the couch, his chest rising and falling heavily as he squeezes his eyes shut, the sound of y/n shuffling through drawers deafening to his ears. The material of his clothes scratches at his skin, his whole body practically tingling as every slight move sends an odd sensation through his body. He groans in discomfort, tugging the sleeves of his shirt up to try and get relief from the heat, only to breath heavily when it sends a painful, tingling sensation through his whole arm. Y/n rushes over and stares down at him.

“I, uh- I think I have an old boyfriend’s shirt you could wear- an ex, ex…uh.” She sets something down on the table. “Right. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Castiel’s eyes flutter open as she walks away.

“What do I need a shirt for?”

“So, you aren’t so overheated,” she calls out, quickly rushing back in with a plain grey T. “Here, if you want- uh, if you have boxers on or something, you could take off your pants- if it, uh…would make you more comfortable?” She holds the shirt out to him, and he stares forward at it. He takes the shirt, and shifts, pushing himself to stand up. “Whoa, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to…is there a restroom I could change in?” Y/n coughs slightly and nods. “Yeah, I, uh, sorry.” She laughs. “Yeah, over here.” She takes his elbow and gently leads him over to the small bathroom, only walking away when the door closes.

She rifles through the medicine cabinet, trying to find ibuprofen and aspirin when she hears a loud crash. “Oh my god,” she rushes back to the bathroom, throwing the door open without thinking.

Castiel grips the counter to support himself, leaning his forehead on it as well. His bare back is turned to her, the only clothing actually on him being plain, white boxers. Y/n chokes slightly, and whirls around. “Oh- oh I’m so, uh, oh god…I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to- I hear a loud- I thought…I thought maybe you’d fallen, I didn’t…” Another low, almost pained groan falls past Castiel’s lips, and he shakes his head, attempting to stand up.

“It’s fine, y/n, I-” He lurches forward, catching himself on the doorframe, still gripping the shirt. She turns slowly.

“I…how did you even get this sick? What happened.” For the first time, y/n notices the dark circles under his sunken, tired eyes and how a light layer of sweat covers his torso, his skin almost looking sunburnt from the heat. Her jaw drops open. “Steve…what- why are you…how long have you not had a place to stay?” He turns his gaze to the ground, wobbling slightly despite his efforts to keep steady.

“A few months maybe.”

“Have you been eating?”

“Not consistently.”

“Are those the only clothes you have?” He pauses before slowly nodding. “Steve…” She frowns, and reaches out, grabbing his arm. “Come on, let’s get you to the couch.”

“What about the shirt?” Y/n pauses.

“If you’re comfortable you can leave it off, or you can put it on. I just thought you’d be more comfortable like this.” Castiel nods slowly and puts the shirt aside. “I could get you a blanket to cover up though- if you’d like.” He nods slowly.

“That would be nice,” he replies, watching her walk away only to reappear a few moments later with a thin, grey blanket. She drapes it across his lap, and opens a pill bottle, shaking out two small, round, red pills into his hand. “Take this,” she hands him a glass of water. “It should help your fever.” She stands up. “I’m going to change out of my work clothes, and then make some dinner. I’m probably going to make soup…would you like some?” Castiel’s eyebrows pull together and he nods slowly.

“Yes, I would…I would love some food, but please don’t go out of your way…”

“Steve, I have to eat. I might as well make you some food while I’m at it.” She smiles softly and then turns. “I’ll be right back- stay there, okay?” Castiel nods and his eyes flutter shut. He pulls the blanket up closer to his chest, allowing himself to relax on the couch more, his hot, flushed skin sensitive to the couch’s coolness. He hums softly, unable to open his eyes as he hears shuffling in the kitchen.

“Y/n?” He mumbles.

“Yeah, It’s me.” Castiel sighs at her voice, slumping on the couch more, now completely laying on the couch.

“I’m glad it wasn’t a robber- or a murderer,” he mumbles, swallowing thickly and trying to sit up. “I wouldn’t be much help,” y/n laughs at this, and he hears her soft footsteps grow nearer as she shuffles over to him, placing a cool cloth over his forehead.

“I’m just heating up some soup, it shouldn’t take too long.” She brushes strands of his slightly damp hair out of his face, practically combing through his hair with her hand as she stares down at him. Castiel mumbles incoherently, a small smile sliding across his face. Although y/n can’t hear what he says, she laughs softly, and her hand rests on the side of his face. “It’s like you’ve never had the flu before,” she mumbles softly, her head tilting as her lips curl into a small smile. His eyes flutter open and his lips briefly part.

“I don’t get sick very much,” he replies sheepishly.

“It must be because of you not taking care of yourself, recently.” She lightly taps his nose and stands up. “I’m gonna make you a bowl, and I’ll be right back over.” Castiel nods and forces himself into a sitting position, the blanket falling from around his shoulders and covering his lap. Y/n sits down next to him, holding the bowl carefully. She takes a small sip of the soup, and then nods, turning to Castiel. “Here, Steve.” She lifts a spoonful to his mouth and he glances at her briefly before his lips part and he takes the bite, quickly chewing the small chunks of vegetable and what appears to be chicken before swallowing. She smiles and reaches to get another spoonful.

“Y/n I can feed myself- you still need to eat.” She smiles slightly as she lifts the spoon up to him again, and he pauses, glancing over at her.

“I already ate, okay? I knew you wouldn’t let me cook food for you otherwise. So just…eat.” His cheeks turn red- whether from the fever, or embarrassment y/n wasn’t sure, but he complies, swallowing the soup and following her movements as she brings the spoon back to the bowl.

They continue this until the bowl is close to empty and Castiel refuses the last bites, claiming to be full. Y/n eyes him, squinting slightly.

“Are you saying that because you’re actually full or because you feel bad? Because we are literally like three bites away from finishing this.”

“We?” Castiel echoes.

“You, I meant you.” She clears her throat. “So, uh, are you sure? You really don’t want the rest…” Castiel’s gaze stays on the bowl.

“Well…”

“Steve, just take the last of it. You haven’t been eating properly- as you said, you haven’t had a home. You might as well?” Castiel swallows roughly, slowly nodding.

“Yes, please.” Y/n smiles and quickly feeds him the last of the soup. Castiel stares down at his lap, smoothing his hands over the light blanket. “Well…thank you, y/n- again. You’ve been so kind to me these past few hours.” She smiles, and pushes his hair back again, picking up the long-discarded (and no longer cool) washcloth. She sits up, and takes the bowl over to the sink, cautiously returning to the couch.

“So…” She sits down next to him, and he smiles over at her tiredly. “I can go grab you a pillow and an extra comforter- are you cold? Do you need more blankets? I do have the extra comforter if you need it- and some other heavier blankets. Would you like some?” He smiles.

“If it wouldn’t be much trouble- I could help, if you want.”

“No, no. You rest here. Luckily for you, it’s Friday. If I remember right neither of us have work tomorrow…right?” Castiel frowns and nods slowly.

“I work weekdays,” he replies.

“Yeah! Me too.” They pause for a long time, and then she nods, standing up. “Okay. I’ll go get your blankets then.” She smiles again and heads for the closet.

It only takes a few minutes to gather all the items, but by the time she’s back, Castiel is already lying down, his head resting on the couch’s armrest, his bare chest rising and falling rhythmically. She lifts his head carefully to stuff the pillow underneath, and lays the blankets over him, walking over to the hallway and flicking the lights off. “Goodnight, Steve.” She mutters, turning away from him and sighing. “I really, really hope you’re as good as I think you are.”

Tags:

Castiel: @shows-up-naked-covered-in-bees

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ficdirectory · 6 years

Text

The Crossing (Disuphere series #3) Chapter 14

Scene VIII: Because I Knew You

Dominique never dreamed she’d be at the point in her life, ten years later, where she’s sitting across the table from real live Jesus as he sketches. That this would be a regular thing they did, at least a couple times a week, if the weather held.

Looking at Jesus’s drawings has been fascinating and revealing. Dominique loves nothing more than paging through them and analyzing them. Telling him every single favorite aspect of all of them. There are a lot.

Today, when she asks to see what he’s drawing, he surprises her: “It’s kinda a weird day for me?”

“How so?” she wonders.

“Like...it’s the day thirteen years ago that…”

Just like that, it clicks. September 7th. The last day of the first week of third grade. She remembered coming home in from playing outside the next day and hearing the news reports while she, Mom and Dad had dinner that night. How her parents talked to her again about being aware of where she was. Not giving directions if somebody she didn’t know asked her. Not approaching anybody in a car, even if they knew her name. Not taking a ride from anybody she wasn’t expecting to.

“You know,” Jesus says, matter of fact.

“I remember, yeah. I saw the news the next night.”

But even Jesus going missing, even learning about and hearing new lectures about safety had not kept Dominique safe from the cool 19-year-old who loitered outside the community center where Dominique had cheerleading. The girl that learned Dominique’s name, asked questions about the High School Musical characters and songs Dominique loved. So that, a month later, when this girl was in tears, and needed a sitter for her kid...when she claimed she didn’t have a phone and asked to borrow Dominique’s...well, Dominique let her.

When she said they just lived around the corner, Dominique hadn’t even thought. In her newly-eleven-year-old mind, she was helping out a friend. But that girl wasn’t a friend. Not even close. Dominique learned that the hard way. And she regularly blamed herself for not listening to her parents and getting into a car with someone she didn’t know.

“I hate this day,” Jesus says quietly.

“I can imagine,” Dominique breathes, not ready to reveal just how much she can relate.

“Do you ever feel like you’re the dumbest person on the face of the earth?”

“More than you know,” Dominique nods.

“Like you’re a horrible person?” Jesus checks.

“Yup,” Dominique nods. “But if it were me?” she asks lightly. “Would you blame me? For being tricked? By an adult?”

“No. Not at all. I just think we’re harder on ourselves.”

Dominique blows out air. “Yeah.”

“He always told me I was stupid,” Jesus comments darkly. “Everything else that he did and it’s that that sticks out the most. It’s that that’s the hardest to fight.”

Dominique just listens. She understands - deeply - but she stays silent.

“So, I usually draw stuff…” he ventures, changing the subject abruptly. “Not people.”

“I noticed,” Dominique nods, easily going with Jesus as he veers.

“Well…” he shrugs, finally showing his sketchbook.

Dominique’s eyes widen. Jesus has drawn their arms as they’d been resting against the grain of the table. Her scarred one, covered by a Hermoine sweater and his bare forearm, two bracelets on his wrist. His arm is lying one direction, and hers is facing opposite. They aren’t close to touching. And Dominique’s breath catches as she squints, seeing that Jesus didn’t ignore her scars.

He didn’t over-exaggerate them, as some artists might. Jesus just saw them. Documented them as a part of her. She can’t explain it, but it makes her feel respected in a way she has not felt for many years.

“Do you hate it?” he asks, tentative. “‘Cause I can rip it up. Throw it out. Nobody has to see it.”

Dudley’s at attention at Jesus’s side. It’s like the dog’s tuned in to Jesus on a soul level. Like he knows that if Jesus starts talking about destroying his art, Dudley ought to pay attention.

“No. Please,” she says, before Dominique even knows she’s speaking. “I mean...can I keep looking at it? Do you mind?”

Jesus looks surprised but shakes his head no. “Go ahead. It’s fine with me,” he nods.

After a long silence, Dominique starts to speak. “Middle school art class, we were assigned to do portraits of the person across from us. It was a nightmare assignment for me, ‘cause my injuries made it hard to do anything like writing or drawing. And this teacher we had was all about realism. So I knew my drawing of this kid was gonna suck.”

“So, what happened?”

“Mine of the other kid got shown and nobody knew who it was supposed to be. Some kid said, ‘Is that even a person?’ and the kid I drew denied it was supposed to be them at all. And then the teacher showed the kid’s drawing of me...and there were no scars… And part of me was happy. ‘Cause the scars were new, and I was self-conscious as hell about them...but at the same time, I was like, keenly aware that, ‘That’s not me.’ Because this major part of me got left out… I don’t know. It was weird.”

Jesus swallows. Reaches down to pull off bracelets from his right wrist and lays his arm against the table again.

Dominique sees right away what she’s meant to see: the brutal scars from years of being chained. Studies them closely. Doesn’t look away.

“I hate these,” he confides. “Sometimes they actually hurt, which is so messed up…but if I showed them to somebody and they were like, ‘I don’t even see you like that,” it’d feel like What the hell? You’re not really seeing me.”

“Right. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t love all this,” Dominique gestures vaguely to her scars. “But it is a part of me. It means something that you didn’t ignore that. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Sorry today sucks,” she offers. “Need a cookie and a frozen hot chocolate?”

Jesus makes a face. “Not really hungry.”

“Seriously. Are you okay?”

He shrugs. “I don’t feel like I can move.”

Dominique’s alarmed, but doesn’t show it. “Dudley. Help him.”

Dudley hasn’t left Jesus’s side, and is pulling at his leash.

“Let’s walk around,” Dominique suggests. “You want to?”

“Yeah, but I feel stuck,” Jesus admits.

“You’re okay. You’re with me and Dudley in Avoidance,” Dominique reassures. Slowly, Jesus stands up and walks with Dudley. Dominique at his side, not touching him.

“Too real?” she asks.

“It’s just today. Sometimes it still feels really vivid. Like I’m there. And I don’t usually show my own scars, because they trigger me,” he allows.

“You didn’t have to show me, Jesus,” Dominique says, serious.

“I know. I wanted to.”

“Even though?” she asks.

“Yeah. It’s my choice.”

“Okay. It is. But, just saying, you don’t need to prove anything to me. Solidarity or whatever. I believe you, even if you never take your bracelets off.”

“Do you think I’m a dumbass?” he asks, shaky.

“Do you think I am?” she asks. “Hypothetically. Would you blame me?”

“No,” he says, fast. Sure.

“Because being tricked by an adult when you’re still a child is always on that adult. Because they’re the ones who know better.”

“But my parents told me. They warned me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Dominique offers, feeling a chill over her body. Wondering how that’s possible when Jesus is right here in front of her.

“It’s hard to believe,” Jesus admits. “And that feels so messed up because it’s been so long.”

“Not so long,” Dominique says softly.

“No?”

Dominique shakes her head. “So why’d you decide to draw us?”

“Because people are hard. Complex. There are a million little details that go into drawing a person’s hands. They’re super personal, but they’re also anonymous, so it’s not like it’d be outing us if anybody else saw this sketch.”

“You used to only draw stuff?” she checks.

“Yeah, until I met this really cool wizard. Then things started to change.”

Dominique thinks back to her own words as Hermione to her mom, about hoping to do some good in the world. She thinks it might be happening. She holds her breath. Finally, she can’t resist anymore and asks, timid: “For the better, I hope?”

Jesus looks her in the eye. “Definitely, for the better.”

#fic: the crossing

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 6 years

Note

AoS AU prompt for The Hub where Nate and Ray had to go on their level 8 classified mission, just some good steelatom bonding

The next installment for our epic AoS AU for Legends of Tomorrow.

AO3

Nate looked over at Ray as the owners of the bar discussedwhat to do with them. The other agent was fidgeting a little in his bonds,looking nervous. Sooner or later, they had to figure out a way to escape andmake it across the border. They probably had eighteen hours until the Overkilldevice went active. Agent Troy had assigned Nate to be the muscle to get in,but Ray’s engineering expertise was also required to disable it. Right now, ifthey didn’t get out of these ropes, it didn’t matter who had been assigned tostop it.

“How long can you hold your breath underwater?” Natemuttered to him, catching some words in the bar owner’s speech that could onlyindicate torture.

“No clue,” Ray said.

The power in the bar suddenly died. Both patrons and the ownersall howled out in disappointment as the game they had been watching blinked offon the television.

“This could be what we need,” Nate told Ray. “We havedarkness on our side. All we have to do is get out of these ropes.

“I might have another idea,” the engineer replied, lookingover at their captors. “Excuse me?”

The group turned to look at him.

“I notice your electricity is out,” Ray said more cheerfullythan Nate expected. “I happen to be an engineer. If you get us passage acrossthe border, I can get things up and running again.”

The group looked at each other before the leader approachedthem. Nate clenched his jaw as a pocket knife came out of her pocket. Raygulped. However, the knife was used to cut the ropes on their hands and chests.

“No funny business,” the woman instructed. “Do what you haveto.”

“So that power failure was actually you?”

Ray grinned and held up the EMP he’s picked up back at theHub. “Figured I should bring it along just in case. Came more in handy than theanti-venom kit Lily insisted I take.”

Nate gave a smile back in return. “I never thought you couldnegotiate so well. I’ve been mistaken thinking your only strength is in thelab. Without you, we’d never be making it across the border.”

“I may not be a field agent, but I have my own tricks,” Rayreplied proudly. “How do you think the others are doing back at the Hub?”

“Based on what was going on when we left?” Nate paused for amoment. “Z’s probably nagging Gideon to give her the full details on themission. Lily’s probably worrying about you. And Hunter’s likely in the cockpitor doing something else with a stern expression.”

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Ray nodded as their truck cameto a stop. “So-”

Nate put a finger to his lips. Ray closed his mouth andlistened. There were soldiers talking outside in a different language. Secondsticked by, then gunfire broke out. Nate yanked Ray down so they were pressed tothe bed of the truck.

“We have to make a run for it,” Nate said. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Nate climbed out first. Ray followed out second and made arun for the bushes. He shouted out for Nate to follow him while they had theiropening. The field agent kicked the soldier down and hurried after him.

“What now?” Ray yelled as they hurried through the brush.

Nate looked behind them. “We need to hide.”

“Why do you think they sent us together?”

Nate stopped staring up at the stars to look back down atRay. They’d managed to find refuge in an old drainage pipe. For hours, they’dbeen hiding out in here from the soldiers and the dogs that were no doubt searchingfor them. Not a whole lot had been said until now.

“They needed someone with the know-how to disable theOverkill device,” Nate answered. “They also needed someone who had thecapability to get into the facility where it’s being kept. We were their bestoptions.”

“Yeah, but it feels weird they took two from the same team.”

He did have a point. It was slightly odd, but Ray didn’tseem very fazed by it anymore. He was now unzipping his bag and pullingsomething out. A smile tugged at his lips as he inhaled the smell of it.

“What is that?” Nate asked.

“A sandwich,” Ray replied cheerfully as he unwrapped it.“Lily made it for me. It’s my favorite. Ham, cheese, and apple on gluten-freebread. You can have half if you want.”

Nate sighed slowly. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Look, buddy, I can’t help my gluten allergy, but I promisethat the bread doesn’t taste horrible.”

“Ray, they have dogs searching for us right now,” hereminded him. “And you brought a ham sandwich.”

Ray’s face fell. “Oh.”

Nate grabbed the sandwich and threw it out as far as hecould. A splash could be heard in the distance. Ray looked out mournfully atwhere his snack had gone.

“You owe me another sandwich,” he muttered under his breathas he settled back against the drainage pipe. “Congratulations, Agent Heywood.You defeated the world’s most dangerous-”

The sound of dogs barking reached his ears. Nate snappedforward and covered Ray’s mouth. Ray frowned at him, but his eyes widened whenhe heard the dogs too. They stayed that way until the sounds faded away, thenNate relaxed and took his hand off Ray’s mouth.

“I’m starting to wonder less why you failed your fieldassessments,” Nate said a little more harshly than he intended to. “You couldhave gotten us killed.”

“I’m sorry, okay,” Ray apologized. “Hate to be yourdeadweight.”

Nate shook his head. “You’re not my deadweight. You’re myteammate, Ray. Before we left, Gideon told me to watch your back. That’s whatI’m doing, Ray. You’re like a brother to me. Plus, Lily would never forgive meif I got you killed.”

Ray chuckled a little. “Yeah, she would be mad.”

They were silent for a little longer before Nate asked himthe question that had been bugging him since he looked at Ray’s file. “How didyou fail your field assessment?”

“Uh,” The other man shifted a little. “Can I tell yousomething about that? Something you can’t tell anyone else, not even Lily? Ithas to be a secret.”

“I’m good at keeping secrets,” Nate told him. “I’ll keep iton the DL.”

“I could have passed my field assessment,” Ray confessed. “Ifailed on purpose.”

“What?” Nate raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Lily didn’t pass hers,” the engineer explained. “I foundout before I took mine. If I passed mine, there was a strong chance that they’dsplit us up. Lily and I work so well together, and I didn’t want to lose mypartner. So I failed mine and they kept us working together. I never told herabout that though.”

“Wow,” Nate exhaled. “So, she has no idea…”

“No,” Ray shook his head. “I don’t want her to think thatshe was holding me back. Besides, I’m not needed since Mr. Save the Day has herback.”

Clearly, Ray was still angry from what had happened with thevirus the previous week that had nearly cost Lily her life. Nate couldn’t thinkof anything to say that would be effective here.

“Since we’re asking questions,” Ray swallowed. “I’ve got oneabout you.”

“Shoot.”

“Your files say you have hemophilia, yet you’re a field agent.How have you not…died?”

Nate stiffened a little as he remembered his life beforeDruce had come to him and offered him the chance to stop being the sick kid inthe hospital.

“I am a hemophiliac,” he admitted. “I grew up in hospitalsfor most of my life. Eventually, SHIELD came and offered me the chance to beable to live my life. There’s a serum they developed that allows my blood to clotnormally, but it needs to be reinjected every few months. Because of it, I’mable to live this life. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.”

Ray blinked in amazement. “I never knew SHIELD had been ableto reach that kind of medical development.”

Nate didn’t bother to tell him that technically SHIELD hadn’tbeen the ones who had developed it. “Well, it’s apparently some Level 8 or 9know-how, so don’t tell anyone I told you.”

“Then we’ll keep out secrets safe with each other,” Ray promised.

“Sounds like a deal.”

Ray moved his hands quickly to disable the device. Time was runningout for them. The airstrike was going to be coming in at any second from SHIELD.Right now, if they kept this up, they both wouldn’t be able to make it out. Natekept on looking at his watch more and more, something Ray was trying to ignore.

“Ray, you have to get out of here,” his friend finally said.

“No way,” Ray shook his head and disconnected another wire. “I’mnot leaving you alone. We’re sticking together.”

“I know you said you failed your field assessment onpurpose, but you aren’t a field agent,” Nate told him. “We’re going to beoutnumbered if you don’t run now. I can finish it from here. You just focus ongetting to safety.”

“I said I am not leaving you alone,” Ray snapped. “Gideontold me to look out for you too when we left. I might not be a field agent, butI am every bit the SHIELD agent you are.”

Nate’s cheek twitched briefly. “I know that, buddy. But if youthink you’re trying to prove something, you don’t have to. Everyone knows youwould have jumped out of that plane to save Lily. She knows it too.”

Ray looked back at the device, feeling shame that he hadn’tbeen able to get his parachute on fast enough before Nate had come down to thecargo bay. “I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone. Gideon told us to bothwatch out for each other. That’s what we’ll do. That’s why I’m staying withyou.”

He disconnected the last parts of the Overkill device. Footfallswere audible in the distance now. An explosion sounded in the distance. SHIELDmust have started their bombing.

Nate clenched his fists, ready for a fight. Ray looked downat the Overkill device. It had been meant to disable weapons within a massivedistance when hooked up the huge generator. Perhaps it could be reworked totarget a smaller radius.

Once Nate had taken down the soldiers with Ray’s modificationsto the Overkill device, they ran out of the warehouse. Someone shouted out atthem. They turned to see a squadron approaching them, guns drawn. There was noway they could make it out alive.

This was it for them.

Then the soldiers started shouting and pointing up. Air buffetedboth the agents’ clothes and air. When they looked up at the sky, a large blackplane was descending towards them. Smiles broke out on both their faces.

Their extraction team had arrived.

It wasn’t until they got back on the plane that they’d foundout that there had been no extraction plan for them until Z had hacked into theHub and told Gideon. Gideon had tried to appeal to Agent Troy while Z and Lilyhad gotten Rip to agree to help them out. Their leader had joined them once Troyshot her down. Gideon was likely going to get chewed out when she returned tothe Hub, but she didn’t sound too fazed by that.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Nate said.

“We look after our own,” Gideon told them with a smile.

She went back up the stairs with Rip, who simply told themhe was glad they made it out alive. Only the girls were left with them now.

Lily hurried forward and hugged Ray quickly. “I’m so happyyou’re alive. Both of you”

“Me too,” Ray agreed. “I owe Nate for that.”

“We kept each other alive,” Nate corrected.

Z hugged Ray next before going over Nate. “So did you bringme anything back?”

“No,” Nate shook his head. “Not really a mission for souvenirs.”

Z gasped in shock. “How could you? My own superior officer?”

“I missed you too, Z,” Nate told her. “But tomorrow, we’regoing to make up for the training that you missed while I was gone.”

“Joy,” Z muttered sarcastically, but then her expressionturned sincerer. “But I am happy you made it out though. I’m serious aboutthat.”

“Thanks, Z.”

“Did you like the sandwich?” Lily asked as she walked backinto the lab with Ray. “I was hoping that it would hold up for the mission.”

Ray nodded. “It was delicious, as always. I owe you asandwich now.”

“And you didn’t need to use the anti-venom kit?”

“No,” Ray shook his head with a chuckle. “No snakes on thismission.”

“Well, that’s good,” Lily smiled. “How did it go in general?”

“Not bad,” Ray shrugged as they walked over the Holotable. “Igot to negotiate to get Nate and I passage across the border. I managed to modifythe Overkill device to help us out. Kicked a few guys’ heads in too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Enough about me. How were things backhere? Did anything exciting happen at the Hub?”

Lily nodded, a pleased smile on her face. “I shot a superiorofficer in the chest.”

#incendiaglacies #ask box #legends of tomorrow #ray palmer #nate heywood #lily stein #zari tomaz #aos au #agents of shield

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mydarlingfelix · 6 years

Text

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers... H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors) T: Time you woke up - 6:43am U: Underwear color - White V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time. X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg) 🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert? 🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band) 🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top 🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints. 🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women) 🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd) 🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials)

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee,

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!!

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha.

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky!

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg

& “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost

& also

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd

What colour are your eyes?

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm.

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding.

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather

#tag game // done #get to know me tag #omfg i have sm tags to do jfdkgf dkg #this has been long over due #nbfjdkbgfjd #sorry

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sublimeperfectionland · 7 years

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New Moon of the Dark Kingdom Chapter Hundred and Six - Dark Zoisite

Zoisite and Kunzite have found true love, but when some old friends, a vengeful god, and a pair of evil twins are gunning for the Shitennou all at once, life is not going to be easy

[scene: Zoi's sweet sixteen. Chief Midori rushes to the microphone]

Chief Midori: Son, you mustn't joke around like this. People might get hurt from sheer panic.

Zoi: Um, Dad? Did you not hear me say I was going to kill everyone right now? Keeping people from getting hurt is not real high on my list of priorities.

Chief Midori: You’re not a killer.

Zoi: [giggling] Oh, Daddy dear, don't lie. You know that is just not true. You watched me empty a gun into four men, before I ran out of bullets and had to grab another gun so I could shoot two more men in the back. Oops, I guess I shouldn't have confessed to that in front of a room full of witnesses. [twirls his hair and smiles] I guess that's just one more reason you all have to die.

Mamoru: Such words must never be spoken, not even in jest. The answer to violence relies not on violence, but in working together to--

Zoi: Blah blah blah. Oh, I disagree. Violence is the only answer. You see, the Death Phantom is going to make you all die horrible deaths. He's a lot more powerful than I am so there is nothing I can do to save your lives. However, I can make sure you all die swiftly and painlessly. And if I can dine on your energy, and poison away the last lingering shreds of my own humanity...I guess that is a win for me.

Mamoru: Humanity is not what you are, it is what you-

[Zoi knocks him down with a blast of energy]

Zoi: Sorry. It's my party and you'll die if I want to.

[He stretches out his hands a thin thread of energy is drawn from everyone's bodies into Zoi. As their lifeforce is sucked away they weaken and stagger. Except for Mamoru who is staring up at dark-eyed, crackling Zoi in disbelief and horror.

Death Phantom: What are you doing!

Zoi: [petulant] Doesn't ANYBODY listen to me when I'm talking!

[The Death Phantom stares at Zoi's father who is looking at his son with concern. Not for himself, but for what might happen to Zoi.]

Death Phantom: I don't need to look into your mind, little fool. I only need to look into the human who knows you best to see through your bluff.

[The older and weaker partygoers stagger and faint from lack of energy. The younger and more energetic stagger to keep their footing. Zoi shows no sign of relenting as he grows brighter and brighter.]

Zoi: Does this really look like a bluff to you?

[The Death Phantom grabs Naru by the arms and holds her in front of him]

Death Phantom: END THIS FOOLISHNESS OR I KILL THIS HUMAN NOW!

[Naru faints dead away. For a moment the Death Phantom is at a loss on how to proceed until he notices Usagi wailing nearby. He drops Naru, who is quickly dragged to safety by Umino and drags Usagi by the pigtail in front of the podium.]

Death Phantom: END THIS FOOLISHNESS OR I KILL THIS HUMAN NOW!

Zoi: Do it. I double dog dare you.

Death Phantom: [grips Usagi's wrists] I WILL PULL HER ARMS FROM HER SOCKETS.

Usagi: [sobbing] Oh, no! I really don't want my arms pulled from my sockets!

Zoi: Don’t worry. You won’t live that long.

Death Phantom: SHITENNOU! CEASE YOUR TRICKERY OR BY THE COUNT OF THREE-

Zoi: She'll be dead on the count of two.

Death Phantom: ONE...

Zoi: [Summons a crystal javelin] You really don't think I'm going to go through with this, do you?

Death Phantom: TWO...

Zoi: [hurls the javelin] Why is everyone constantly underestimating me?

[Usagi screams as it speeds straight for her heart but Mamoru leaps in front of her taking the spear right through the gut.]

Usagi: [lets out a heart wrenching scream as the spear goes in his belly and protrudes out his back] MAMOCHAN!

[He falls to the ground and Usagi gathers him into her arms, clasping his hand in hers.]

[He gazing up at her adoringly, stroking her cheek with one bloody shaking hand.]

Mamoru: You need to find someone...Someone better than me...Someone who will treat you the way you deserved to be treated.

Usagi: NEVER! There has NEVER been anyone for me but you! There will NEVER be anyone for me but you!

Mamoru: [to Usagi] I-I was never good enough for you.

Usagi: Stop saying that. You are the best. The greatest person who has ever walked the earth. How could I ever be with anyone else after loving you? After you gave your life for me. You are only one for me. If you die I will die too.

Mamoru: No, Usagi. The world is a better place with you in it than me.

Usagi: [eyes filling with tears] Oh, Mamo. Don't die. Please don't die. If you die, I don't think I could go on.

Zoi: [raises his hands to his mouth] Oh, dear. What have I done.

[Zoi gently drifts over to Usagi cradling Mamoru, and they both look up at him. Usagi's eyes are filled with hope. Mamoru's are filled with hate.]

Zoi: How could I have almost squandered the precious life force of my dearest friend Mamoru Chibi...

[He reaches out his hands to Mamoru, uncovering his mouth, which is grinning from ear to ear.]

Zoi...without remembering he's endless fountain of energy!

[Usagi and Mamoru scream and Zoi laughs like a madman, as Zoi draws in Mamoru's life energy as fast as he can.]

[The Death Phantom watches, perplexed until a cloud of petals form around Zoi]

Death Phantom: Oh, no.

Zoi: Oh, yes. I'm afraid you slipped up there, my dear Wiseman. You shouldn't have told me the key to escaping this is more energy than I currently have.

[Zoi laughs like a fiend as he slips through the dimensional fabric of the ballroom to teleport away.]

#new moon of the dark kingdom

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almaasi · 7 years

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GISHWHES 2016 List Of Items

Lots of other people have posted this list since 2016’s scavenger hunt, but I’m uploading it here (drastically belated, I know) for my own collection. The 2016 hunt ran between July 31st and August 5th, and the winning team went to Iceland with Misha Collins. This list contains all of the hunt items, their value in points, and whether they were submitted as photos or videos - including deleted items. (Registration for the 2017 hunt closes VERY SOON, and this may be the final hunt! Sign up at gishwhes.com!)

[ see also: 2011 list // 2012 list // 2013 list // 2014 list // 2015 list ]

Disclaimer: I am not Misha Collins, nor am I directly affiliated with him, or any of his team at gishwhes.com. However, they did apparently name their 2012 Fograt mascot after this tumblr blog. Which is the coolest thing that’s ever happened, obviously. (“Tales of an Injured Fog Rat” was created in 2010 with that title. I’ve been archiving the item lists since the hunt’s conception in 2011).

Also, yes, the cursor is a penis. I’m only a little bit sorry.

#1. PHOTO or VIDEO. 32 POINTS. There’s something you used to do for your significant other when you first met them. Something that made them smile… It’s been years since you did this. Do it now.

#2. VIDEO. 123 POINTS. A freight train engine pulling a tiny flatcar (a utility flatcar, not a big cargo flatcar) with a woman dressed in Victorian attire, sitting at a writing desk with a vase of flowers on it, writing a letter to her beloved.

#3. PHOTO or VIDEO. 21 POINTS. “Someday your face will freeze like that!” said every mother ever. The 2016 Summer Olympics has added Competitive Gurning to their roster and you are your country’s champion. Put on your Olympic uniform and let’s see your medal-winning, face-making moves. Judgment will be on technical merit, artistry, and execution. A perfect 10 takes the gold.

#4. PHOTO or VIDEO. 57 POINTS. Dentist's offices are notorious for playing dreary elevator music. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Get dental work done while a string quartet plays live music in the room.

#5. PHOTO or VIDEO. 37 POINTS. In the middle of a mall food court, you and a friend (one or more) play a nice game of badminton - we must see the tennis whites, the net, rackets, etc.

#6. PHOTO. 54 POINTS. Submit two images, side-by-side. If you have or know a child under 6, have them draw a family portrait. Now, get your family to pose EXACTLY as they drew you all in the drawing. Try to replicate the clothing, individual heights and anything you need to do or add to your bodies to contort them to what the child drew.

#7. VIDEO. 44 POINTS. Are you still jogging occasionally? Good. Be sure to try out this year's latest fashion craze: pineapple shell shoes with matching pineapple caps to protect you from the sun. Let’s see you (carefully) jogging in public.

#8. VIDEO. 87 POINTS. Get "This week, GISHWHES is making the world measurably weirder…” or similar text on the news ticker at the bottom of the screen of a major network or cable news channel.

#9. PHOTO. 27 POINTS. Care homes, rehab facilities, and hospitals have many patients and clients who can't read for themselves. Contact a local center and offer your services to read for an hour or two (or more) during the Hunt Week. If photo evidence with the patient is a sensitive issue, ask the care staff for a photo or documentary evidence of your contribution. - Monica Duff

#10. PHOTO. 26 POINTS. Find the coupon section from your most recent newspaper. Cut out at least five coupons. Go to the store and leave the coupons on the shelf taped next to the relevant items with a note “From the Coupon Fairy!”. - Elizabeth Fiedler

#11. PHOTO. 47 POINTS. You (a human) must re-enact this photo (not pets allowed): http://markobbie.com/wordpress1/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dog-firehose.jpg

#12. PHOTO. 58 POINTS. I have to travel a lot for work, so I’ve learned a thing or two about working the system. It turns out, if you package yourself properly you can send yourself by mail for a fraction of the cost of an airline ticket. Transform your appearance into a first-class parcel and have a friend deliver you to the post office for shipping. Don’t actually ship yourself— just get a photo of your packaged self being weighed at the post office, in a bin at a post office with other packages, or being loaded into a mail truck.

#13. PHOTO. 32 POINTS. It’s a well-known fact that Pablo Picasso was a huge “Supernatural” fan. He painted portraits of Mark Sheppard, Jensen Ackles, Ruth Connell, Sam Smith, Richard Speight Jr., Matt Cohen, Jared Padalecki, Andrew Dabb, Rob Benedict, Misha Collins, Bob Singer, and many of the other cast and crew members. Sadly, until now, these great works have been lost to the world. Fortunately, your team has unearthed one of these priceless works.

#14. PHOTO. 38 POINTS. Live your dream. You know, the one you had while you were sleeping last night. - Julie Reynolds

#15. PHOTO or VIDEO. 105 POINTS. (slow-mo or real-time). This is the final showdown between the Haves and the Have-nots. Show up Monday afternoon at NO LATER than 12 PM at Dolores Park in San Francisco (the flat side of the park at Dolores Park entrance). If your team name has an odd number of letters in it, you are an executive and you must dress business-snazzy. If your team name has an even number of letters in it, you are a member of the proletariate and you must dress in over-alls or blue-collar apparel. Bring at least 12 water balloons (pre-filled with water). At exactly 12:10 PM, the ultimate water balloon battle will ensue. It will last exactly 7 minutes! After this time has expired, the battle will be over and BOTH teams MUST clean up the water-balloon shrapnel (see below). You must have a friend capture the event with a video or photo (don’t get your phones wet) or, if you don’t have a photographer attending with you, you may get a photo with the gishwhes representative at the event—they will be wearing a royal blue beanie. You must circle "you" or your representative (if you don't live near SF) in the image that you submit so we can identify that you were there. IMPORTANT! Participants must collect and dispose of ALL balloon shrapnel at the end of the battle. Otherwise, seagulls will eat them and they will die a horribly painful and drawn-out death. Have you ever read the “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”? Why not? What’s wrong with you? Let’s just say killing an albatross (which, although from a completely different family (Diomedeidae) than the seagull (Charadriiformes), they do both have wings, and think the ocean is a good place to poop - so they are pretty much brothers) is not good karma and it shall haunt you for life. So be a responsible Gisher and don’t leave until the debris is gone.

#16. PHOTO. 56 POINTS. Your yard needs an upgrade. It's too expensive to do proper landscaping, so let's just dress it up nicely... with every item of clothing you own displayed in a beautiful, artistic manner on the trees, bushes, cars, patio furniture, fountain, etc. Have your neighbors over in the middle of it for a yard-warming party if you wish.

#17. VIDEO. 39 POINTS. Give your dog a slow, massaging soap bath in a kiddie pool in a crowded pedestrian area. If it's cold out, use a large stuffed animal instead. Relaxing spa music should be playing in the background. - Tracy Liu

#18. PHOTO. 67 POINTS Recreate a painting by Goya in candy.

#19. PHOTO. 58 POINTS. It’s such a strange feeling lying in a coffin almost completely buried in popcorn with only your face showing. Trust me. I know.

#20. PHOTO. 29 POINTS. Handcraft at least 3 birthday cards and send them to this young man: http://abc7.com/society/boy-from-big-bear-with-severe-autism-wishes-for-birthday-cards/1424726/ - Elizabeth Madsen

#21. PHOTO. 41 POINTS. Re-create a monument or landmark using tree branches and twigs right next to the original monument or landmark. The structure must be over 4 feet high.

#22. PHOTO. 41 POINTS. [REMOVED:] Find a pet that can easily and happily be kept in an enclosed terrarium: a lizard, turtle, snake, rodent, or even an injured bird. This animal must be a rescue animal; it cannot be acquired at a pet store. Now, introduce this animal to its new family: an elementary school classroom that will care for it. The classroom must have the means and facilities to humanely care for it.

#23. PHOTO. 79 POINTS. The versatility of corn is amazing— it has so many uses! However, there's no better use for corn than this year's must-have fashion statement: the Corn Husk Bikini or Corn Husk Evening Wear! Feel free to color the husks, as well as to accent and accessorize with kernels.

#24. PHOTO. 53 POINTS. Paint a watermelon to look like the head of a famous dictator (past or present) and place it at the base of one of the cannons at Dawes Point under the Harbour Bridge in Sydney, Australia. You will likely see other watermelons there. To make sure your photo submission is different from any other team’s, you must stack or display the watermelons artistically. If they are already stacked or displayed in an artistic manner, you must thoughtfully re-stack and rearrange them.

#25. VIDEO. 48 POINTS. Let’s see a bad lip reading of a Supernatural episode in this style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w8Z0UOXVaY - Julie Reynolds

#26. PHOTO. 61 POINTS. Drones are just the first step in machines’ efforts to take over the world. Let's end this battle before it starts! Let's see an epic picture of you squaring off against a flying drone in your mightiest battle pose. You must be geared for battle though... Use anything from your kitchen or pantry to create your armour and weaponry.

#27. PHOTO. 94 POINTS. Dress up your pet as a well-known public figure (actor, politician, musician, etc.) and get a photo of your pet with the ACTUAL public figure it is dressed up as. Make sure the pet looks as much like the public figure as possible (wardrobe, hair, etc.).

#28. VIDEO. 48 POINTS. Submit your video in slow motion.You are throwing an elegant party. Show us your sophistication by decanting red wine directly into your guests’ mouths. Properly aerate the wine by pouring it from at least 2 stories above the guests. The guests, of course, must be wearing white.

#29. PHOTO. 36 POINTS. Recently there has been a lot of news about bottled water and how much of it is just urban tap water sold in a bottle with a fancy label. It’s an unregulated sham. That said, it seems like a pretty good way to make a buck, but at this point the bottled water market is pretty saturated. Set up a stand on a public walkway to sell “fresh air” from your city in bottles with compelling labels.

#30. VIDEO. 43 POINTS. Dub a “Beavis and Butthead” cartoon with actual audio clips from Barack Obama and Donald Trump as the voices for Beavis and Butthead respectively.

#31. PHOTO. 46 POINTS. Personify the name of a street sign. - Erin Atkinson

#32. PHOTO. 39 POINTS. We all learned from the movie “The Secret” that vision boards and positive affirmations have the power to help you manifest really important things in your life like sports cars and boundless riches. Now I’m sure everyone probably wants a red sports car and immeasurable wealth, but we want to see your vision board that depicts aspects of your life that transcend the trappings of material status. Make a collage from magazines of the things which cannot be bought or sold that you would like more of in your life.

#33. PHOTO. 33 POINTS. Rainbow teeth.

#34. PHOTO. 31 POINTS. We’ve seen Jensen Ackles portraits in Skittles. What about Jensen Ackles on Skittles? Draw a tiny Ackles on a single Skittle. Post a photo of the Skittle portrait in the palm of your hand.

#35. PHOTO or VIDEO. 44 POINTS. In support of the documentary “Alive Inside,” find one person with Alzheimer's or some form of dementia and learn what their favorite tunes were when they were young. Make them a playlist of those songs and play it for them.

#36. PHOTO. 53 POINTS. If you, dear reader, happen to be someone who knows my mother, don’t spoil the fun by telling her about this… My mom doesn’t care that I'm on TV, she’s just not impressed. However, she turns into your typical proud mother when you bring up gishwhes. She loves GISHWHES and she hates that I won’t let her be on a team (but come on, how bad would it look if my mom’s team won?) Anyway, she loves gishwhes—she also loves birthdays. It just so happens that tomorrow, Monday, August 1st, is my mother's 70th birthday. Let's combine two of her favorite things: birthdays and gishwhes. I have secretly planted a GPS tracking device on my mother. Help me surprise her between the hours of 11:30AM and 1PM by showing up and saying happy birthday to her! Follow this link http://bit.ly/2astpwS to see exactly where we are. (Hint: It’ll be in the vicinity of Bellingham, WA.) Take a photo of yourself with my Mom in the background to submit as proof you completed this item.

#37. PHOTO. 37 POINTS. I believe that children are our future. Show us your futuristic robot baby.

#38. PHOTO or VIDEO. 1? POINTS. [REMOVED:] Couch surfing. Really. Real couch, real surf in ocean water. Make it happen.

#39. PHOTO. 67 POINTS. There's a lot of talk about how undocumented immigrants or "illegal aliens" are taking away our jobs and using public services such as hospitals and schools. But I think the real thing to worry about is actual aliens from other planets. Prove that aliens are a drain on our civic infrastructure by showing an alien from space (this costuming has to be impeccable) displacing a citizen's job or clogging up our hospitals or prisons. Caption the image with a message about the dangers of aliens draining our civic infrastructure.

#40. VIDEO. 81 POINTS. We all know about "Transformers" - the cars and trucks that turn into super-robots. But what the movies and toy manufacturers have overlooked are all of the other less-celebrated, more mundane Transformers. For example, what about Burgertron? He transforms from a burger into a robot. Or Desktopatron? She is a desktop computer who transforms into a robot. Or Fiddletron? He’s a violin one minute, a robot the next. Show us a human in a Transformer costume that goes from household object to a bad-ass robot.

#41. PHOTO or VIDEO. 84 POINTS. Free range, grass-fed, small farm dairy cows in Northern Vermont have it rougher than most cows: the rolling hills, the verdant pastures, the way the flickering lights of summer’s fireflies mingle with the starlight, the smell of ripening raspberries wafting into their barns. Help a heifer in these dire circumstances forget her suffering. Treat a dairy cow to the most pampered milking session in human/bovine history. A minimum of three attendants must milk the cow. One person must be feeding her clover by hand as another gently milks her wearing satin gloves as another massages her gently. The attendants must be dressed in semi-formal attire. The milking must take place in a well-appointed living room.

#42. PHOTO. 45 POINTS. Let’s see a picture of you and a friend, dressed as Jedi knights, enjoying a root beer float at the White Turkey Drive-In in Conneaut, Ohio, or at another 1950s-style dining facility. Bonus points for being served by a Sith. - L.S.

#43. VIDEO. 52 POINTS. This video may be 25 seconds or less. Create the world’s first human piano. Get multiple people to stand in one line dressed in black and white as piano keys, with each leg a different key (two keys per person). Then “play” them: have them lift their heels several inches off the ground, and when you press down their leg they sing, hum or grunt the corresponding note (pitch perfect, please). When you remove your hand, their leg goes back up. Two or more legs down at the same time makes a chord. Play chopsticks (or another familiar ditty) more or less in tune.

#44. PHOTO. 61 POINTS. Two elderly men playing chess by candlelight in front of the front row of a crowded movie theater while the film plays in the background.

#45. PHOTO. 46 POINTS. Isn’t it great to get your friends and family together for the holidays?! But it’s so hard! Sometimes all you can manage is getting everyone together for one holiday a year. But then you have to choose a holiday, and that’s so hard, too! Wait a minute... not if you decide to celebrate ALL holidays in that one night! Let’s see that night. - Inspired by Nicole Bowman

#46. VIDEO. 66 POINTS. This video may be up to 20-seconds. Everyone knows how important specific diets are in developing a chiseled physique. Find a bona fide, professional, competitive bodybuilder or ultimate fighter in peak condition and have them create a 20-second infomercial touting the muscle-building, fat-burning, nutrient-loaded virtues of aerosol spray cheese (like Cheeze Whiz). We must hear the athlete’s name, credentials and see their glistening, oiled, body as they “sell” us (however they best can do that) on the benefits and delicious taste of the aerosol spray cheese. This should probably include ravenously squirting the cheese directly into their mouth. Bonus points if you get a former World Champion.

#47. PHOTO. 41 POINTS. Submit two images, side-by-side. Recreate a famous, iconic photo from junk food. For example, you could submit the black and white photo of Einstein sticking out his tongue, next to another photo of your best attempt to recreate that photo using various junk foods as your paints. I hope that makes sense. For some reason it sounds confusing as I type it. But you have to somehow figure out what I mean here and then do it. Best of luck.

#48. PHOTO. 38 POINTS. Let’s stop sugar-coating our grievances and complaints! Actually, strike that— let’s actually sugar coat them. Confront your boss or employee about an issue in the workplace that has been irking you. While doing so, you must be entirely coated in powdered sugar. Your body language must convey your frustration.

#49. PHOTO or VIDEO. 47 POINTS. Cosplay a thunderstorm, in public, complete with sound effects, lighting and rain. - Karen Hutchinson

#50. VIDEO. 63 POINTS. Virtual reality interfaces are absolutely amazing. The technology is mind-blowing. Using virtual reality and augmented headsets like the Hololens and Oculus, I have stood on the surface of Mars at Jet Propulsion Laboratories and examined the undercarriage of the Mars Rover, been in the eye of a hurricane, and have been attacked by heavily-armed 19th-century militia. It’s mind-blowing. Your task is to create a virtual reality experience totally unlike any VR experience to date. This video will require a super-short, adrenalin-pumping intro-teaser, which will let the viewers know that they are about to experience VR like never before. THEN, abruptly cut to a 360-degree clip of the most mundane activity you can imagine. BORE US TO DEATH.

#51. VIDEO. 174 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. Get permission from a museum to temporarily replace a painting worth more than $100,000 with a forgery of the same painting. The forgery must be painted by an 8-year old and we must see time-lapse showing ALL OF THE following 3 occurrences for you to receive points: (1) removal of the original painting (caption with the name of the painting and estimated value), (2) installation of the child’s painting, and (3) patrons viewing the child’s painting.

#52. PHOTO. 26 POINTS. Submit a screenshot. Using the satellite function on Google Maps, find a geological feature that looks like one of our Gishwhes mascots (Fograt, Wooster, Elopus, etc.). Screenshot the image and then caption it appropriately (i.e. Fograt Valley, Mount Slangaroo, etc.).

#53. VIDEO. 121 POINTS. [REMOVED:] This video submission can be up to 20 seconds. Someone told me that they once hid a rubber duck in the fireplace in the grand dining room of the White House. I just want to know if it’s still there. Examine the nooks and crannies of the fireplace in the ACTUAL grand dining room of the White House so that I can confirm or deny the existence of this rubber ducky. You get points whether there’s a duck in your video or not. Your video exploration of the fireplace must start with a quick 360 degree shot of the White House’s Grand Dining Room.

#54. PHOTO. 57 POINTS. IMAGE. My grandmother, Dorris, lives in a retirement home called Roland Park Place (RPP) in Baltimore, MD. A few years ago, I put RPP in the Hunt. People started showing up with flowers and cookies. She called me in a panic, “WHAT IS HAPPENING?! CALL IT OFF!” A few hours later, she called back, “Well, it isn’t so bad…. Maybe just tell them to come during visiting hours.” The next year she said, “You’re going to put RPP in your hunt again, right?!” Clearly she was excited by the prospect. So, we did another RPP item last year. This past year she’s had some health problems. She’s 92, a bit tired, cardiologists, etc. She has been vacillating. She told me to put RPP on the list, to take it off again, and finally yesterday she said, “I think we should do it.” So, if Gammy says “do it,” it is a choiceless matter— it must be done. Visit RPP and take a photo with a resident. Bring a small gift: cookies, flowers, a deck of cards, a board game for the rec room, some water colors, etc.… One more thing, your photo must show you dressed as a pirate. The RPP resident should have at least one pirate accessory on as well (a hat, an eye patch, etc.), which you must furnish for them. If no member of your team lives within 50 miles of RPP, you may perform this item at any retirement home or assisted living facility anywhere in the world. This item must strictly be performed between the hours of 9AM and 5PM, on a weekday (not the weekend).

#55. VIDEO. 14 POINTS. Gishwhes has broken 7 Guinness World Records. Let’s see how many records you can break in 10 seconds. (Hint: record=LP)

#56. PHOTO. 81 POINTS. Green Eggs and Ham. Sam does not like green eggs and ham. Not on a boat, not with a goat. Show us yourself enjoying green eggs and ham (sunny-side up) on a boat with a goat.

#57. PHOTO. 102 POINTS. A Hell's Angel (or other bona fide member of a known motorcycle club) in a fruit leather jacket sitting astride their bike.

#58. PHOTO. 47 POINTS. Garnet from “Steven Universe” popularized the phrase, “I am made of love.” Turn yourself into a collage (you are the pasteboard on which the collage is affixed), comprised of all the things you love that, combined, help make you uniquely you.

#59. VIDEO. 102 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. Create an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that ultimately serves an an incredibly simple function. For example, you could set up a Rube Goldberg machine at a deli counter in a grocery store that, upon completion of its entire elaborate multi-step process, issues a single numbered ticket to a patron waiting for their turn. The machine MUST be set up in a public place.

#60. PHOTO. 35 POINTS. Let's save 'em! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/penguins-on-worlds-smelliest-island-in-danger-as-volcano-erupts/ Tweet your support to https://twitter.com/BAS_News and hashtag #gishwhesLovesSmellyPenguins and #[your gishwhes username]. Get at least 20 people to post their support. Submit a grid image of screenshots of the posts.

#61. VIDEO. 93 POINTS. Gymnasts around the world are gearing up for the Olympics. Show a gymnast in action on a balance beam, vault, floor exercises, etc. proudly wearing their “pizzatard" (unitard made from pizza). If that sounds too challenging, you have the option of putting them in a fishtard, a fruittard or a friestard. Any of these options garner the same point value.

#62. PHOTO. 62 POINTS. There’s one thing everyone has always agreed on: you have mad artichoke-repurposing skills.

#63. PHOTO. 48 POINTS. Wallpaper an entire wall of your bedroom with photos of your nose. You must cover every inch of the wall and must have AT LEAST 100 pictures of your nose. Pose in front of it with your finger up your nose.

#64. VIDEO. 51 POINTS. This submission may be 30 seconds or less (or time-lapsed). Celebrate the Olympic Summer games by running a 40-meter, 30-legged dash.

#65. VIDEO. 37 POINTS. This submission may be 25 seconds or less. A commercial for your new 80 SPF Sinscreen (this is not a typo).

#66. PHOTO. 76 POINTS. In corporate-speak, we often hear, “Thanks for jumping in the sandbox with us!” It means, “Thanks for embarking on this joint venture together.” At Gishwhes we take these types of comments literally. Let’s see people in business attire playing with sand toys, holding a corporate meeting in a sandbox in the middle of an indoor, upscale corporate lobby.

#67. PHOTO. 44 POINTS. The morning commute can be such a drag! Let’s help commuters get the day off to a good start. Distribute free coffee at a bus stop dressed as a chic butler, waiter or waitress during morning rush hour. - Jessica Carla Marques

#68. PHOTO. 33 POINTS. Create a portrait of your favorite Supernatural actor on an Etch-A-Sketch in the style of a famous painting. http://chicagoist.com/2016/05/09/_jane_labowitch_24_has.php

#69. PHOTO. 42 POINTS. Dress up in armor from items you find in a big box store and, using a pool noodle or tube of gift wrap, defend the perimeter of the ladies’ undergarments department.

#70. VIDEO. 51 POINTS. VIDEO: It's time to go Christmas Caroling, Hillywood style! Recruit 10 of your friends, each cosplaying as different SUPERNATURAL characters, and hit the road to a random neighborhood! Once there, take your Supernatural Squad to 3 different homes (must be strangers)! Knock on their door, get into a caroling formation, and when they open the door, sing an acapella version of "Supernatural Parody by The Hillywood Show®" as loud as you can! Extra points if you bring and play your own instruments! Happy Hillydays! - Hillywood

#71. VIDEO. 212 POINTS. [REMOVED:] This submission may be 30 seconds or less. Two hot air balloons next to each other (but at a sufficiently safe distance from one another) drifting at an altitude of at least 500’. Communicate a knock-knock joke from one balloon to the other using tin-can and string telephone technology. We must hear the joke clearly through the tin-can phone. Video edit together footage from at least three cameras: one from the perspective of each caller in the respective hot air balloons and one shot by a spectator from the ground.

#72. PHOTO. 29 POINTS. I'm going to tweet something to you on Wednesday, August 3rd in the afternoon. Or morning. Or evening. I’m not sure. Anyway, you must pass it on when you see it that day (PDT time zone). Submit a screenshot of your post. Specifically: As some of you may know, I've published a few poems in my day. I fancy myself a wordsmith, but what with shooting, parenting, Gishwhes, and all the [REDACTED BY THE NSA IN THE INTEREST OF NATIONAL SECURITY] I've been doing lately, I've been a little too busy to cozy up with my journal and pen for a quiet writing session. Fortunately, crowdsourcing is "in", so I'm going to crowdsource my next award-winning poem and I'm counting on all of you to help me make it publication-worthy. Sometime today, I'll tweet the first stanza (four lines) of my poem. Choose one member of your team to write the next 2 lines of my poem by retweeting with a comment. Then, that person will tag one another person to write the next 2 lines of the poem, and so on. Each line of the poem must be exactly the same meter as my original work. Get 14 people (including yourself) to contribute to my epic, Pulitizer-prize worthy poem. (At 32 lines, the poem should feel complete. If you have absentee team members you may recruit up to 3 non-team members to fill out your stanzas. Screen shot all 32 lines, beginning with my tweet, for your submission. Oh, and it should be stylistically in the vein of Yeats-meets-Kipling. (The Pulitzer people will eat that up.)

#73. PHOTO. 64 POINTS. Provide evidence of having helped at least 10 eligible United States citizens to register to vote. (Please redact any sensitive identifying personal information from your submitted evidence.) Whether they are changing address, changing party, changing to eligible voting age, or just plain changing their mind to get up off their butt and participate in democracy after years of sideline apathy, the first step to actually voting begins with registration. Submit images of the 10 (or more!) registrants side-by-side or as a grid. - K. Tank Conner.

#74. VIDEO. 74 POINTS. Houston, we have a problem... a math problem! We're planning our gishwhes winners’ trip and need to calculate the travel time from NYC to Reykjavik (the capital of Iceland) if our average speed is 400 miles/hour. Oh, one more thing, this needs to be calculated on a working pre-1970 supercomputer.

#75. VIDEO. 46 POINTS. The tiny kitchen trend is all the rage, but what about tiny bathrooms? Give a full spa experience to a hedgehog, hamster, or mouse, all using tiny spa implements in your tiny spa. (Remember, the customer is always right— so don’t make them do anything they aren’t happy to do including bathing them in water!)

#76. PHOTO. 97 POINTS. Nobody ever talks about the fact that 250 years ago, stormtroopers who had been abandoned on planet Earth were forced to assimilate into pre-Industrial culture. Dramatically re-enact this difficult time. Show a stormtrooper getting back to basics using a spinning wheel, butter churn, or other old-fashioned tool or machine in a rural setting. Feel free to add accessories to the stormtrooper’s outfit to make their assimilation more complete—a Shaker-style hat, a musket slung over the shoulder, etc.

#77. PHOTO. 77 POINTS. Oil and water don’t mix, but in this case we’ll make an exception. Paint a portrait of a live model while both you and the model are scuba diving. Your subject(s) must be wearing formal attire and you must be wearing a beret while at your easel.

#78. VIDEO. 46 POINTS. A working, playable lute made from lutefisk.

#79. PHOTO. 79 POINTS. Cross something off your bucket-list while wearing a vintage zoot suit.

#80. PHOTO. 33 POINTS. Sealand has a population of 4 and holds the Guinness World Record for “the smallest area to lay claim to nation status.” Get Sealand or one of the world’s 20 smallest nations (by population) to grant you citizenship or legal status on an expedited timeline (by the end of the Hunt). Caveat, you can’t pay for it. They have to do it just because they want to see the spike in population growth (or they like the idea of gishwhes).

#81. VIDEO. 46 POINTS. This submission may be 25 seconds or less. Jason Manns is well known for his rendition of "Crazy Love." Show the Crazy Love you have for your fellow humans by surprising your favorite barista, convenience store clerk, or other underappreciated worker with a serenade. Don't forget to bring an instrument of your own creation.

#82. PHOTO. 66 POINTS. Submit an illustration for the fairy tale “Trumpunzel.”

#83. VIDEO. 116 POINTS. This submission may be 25 seconds or less. Recently a former NASA engineer created the world’s largest NERF gun (http://nerdist.com/former-nasa-engineer-builds-worlds-largest-functional-nerf-gun/). We think he didn’t try hard enough. Show the world that you can out-do his efforts. Your submission must clearly surpass his effort or you will receive no points. - Dave Lavery

#84. PHOTO. 83 POINTS. “Death 2 Normalcy”, written in “Highway Braille” (Botts Dots) on a city street. The message must be at least 20 feet long.

#85. PHOTO. 42 POINTS. It's summer (for those of us above the equator)! Time to go the beach! But sand castles are so dated, so gauche, so elitist, so medieval. Catch up with the times and build a sand trailer park.

#86. PHOTO. 56 POINTS. As you all know, Saturday the 6th of August is International Find Another Gisher Day. Meet up (reach out over social media to find gishers in your area) with AT LEAST 5 other Gishers that aren’t on your team at a bus stop and, together, decorate the bus stop with post-it notes inscribed with a mix of delightful, surreal, and uplifting messages. One must read, “Be the unicorn you want to see in the world.” Submit one image of all 5+ people standing in, on, or around the decorated bus stop. The submission description must include the gishwhes usernames of each Gisher in the photo. Each team can submit the same image if a team member was there representing the team.

#87. PHOTO. 38 POINTS. Dress up as a prospector and pan for gold in a public fountain. - Trish Burdick

#88. PHOTO or VIDEO. 87 POINTS. You know those giant teacups at amusement parks that spin? Go for a ride with a friend or two. Of course, you all should be dressed appropriately for the tea party… as a spoon, a tea bag, a sugar cube or something else that one would find in a teacup.

#89. PHOTO. 45 POINTS. Submit two images, side by side: The first photo is a close up of just your face and head with a garland of fresh flowers on your head. The second photo takes advantage of your talents as a highly skilled hair and makeup artist: it is the same person, wardrobe, framing, and lighting as the first photo, but this time you have aged. You are 95 years old and the garland of flowers have long-since wilted and died.

#90. PHOTO. 44 POINTS. Many people think superheroes have a great life of running around saving people with lots of public recognition for their grand deeds. But we know the truth. They have to do the same domestic chores in their off time that we do. Let’s see a superhero performing a tedious domestic chore. -Monica M.

#91. PHOTO. 36 POINTS. Find a little-known, but widely problematic social injustice and come up with a funny analogy for it. Use Photoshop to create an illustration of the analogy. The more ridiculous the better. Bonus points if John Oliver appears in your Photoshopped image. Tweet the image and a brief explanation of the problem to @iamjohnoliver and @gishwhes. Submit a screenshot of your tweet. - Tracy Liu

#92. PHOTO. 108 POINTS. It's the era of streaming media! But you have scads of obsolete technology clogging your closets/attics/garage. Take your old CD-Roms, decommissioned cell phones, powercords that have nothing to power, and create - and model - a haute couture look worthy of a fashion show. Pose wearing your masterpiece (as if you were a mannequin) in a shop window next to actual mannequins wearing ordinary clothes . - Monica Duff & Olivia Desianti

#93. PHOTO. 92 POINTS. You know those Chinese festival dragons where several people are hidden under the cloth of the body and tail? Make one of those, but have it be the largest Castiel ever seen: there should be one “head” and then everyone else must be under a massively long, large, and brown home-made looking trench coat behind the head (there must be at least 7 people under the "coat"). Make sure your Castiel New Year’s Festival is celebrated in public in a crowded venue.

#94. PHOTO. 11 POINTS. It's time to connect the freckles! Find a willing human that's a good freckle pallet and “connect” their real freckles to create a new freckle constellation. - Katrina McGarrah

#95. PHOTO. 45 POINTS. Submit a screenshot of your post. Kilroy was a meme (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilroy_was_here) before memes were cool. Kilroy never grows old though, and now he is so hipster! Bring "Hipster Kilroy" into his well-deserved glory as a popular Kilroy Hipster meme. Get at least 100 likes on your post. - Kathryn Newton

#96. VIDEO. 96 POINTS. Make a cheerleader outfit entirely out of vegetables, including pom-poms, and cheer for a garden or for the produce in the produce section of a supermarket. - Dean K.

#97. PHOTO. 61 POINTS. While we can never completely repay veterans for their service, we can do our best to show how thankful we are. Take a photo of a team member volunteering at your local veteran’s hospital, clinic, or non-profit dedicated to veteran affairs. - Katrina Cuddy

#98. PHOTO. 49 POINTS. Your choice! Either a panda made of sanitary pads - a “Padna,” if you will, or a likeness of a totalitarian world leader made entirely of feminine hygiene products. - Inspired by Sarah Davison

#99. PHOTO or VIDEO. 72 POINTS. The bees are disappearing from our planet. This is particularly tragic for gishers, given our reliance on honey for getting things to stick to our skin (oh yeah, and also because we kind of need them to pollinate the flowering plants on Earth, which we depend on for food). Help save the bees by establishing a milkweed garden, creating a painting or mural honoring bees, helping out at your local apiary, protesting the use of glysophates, supporting an organization dedicated to bee preservation, or in any other way you see fit.

#100. PHOTO. 60 POINTS.Rob Benedict created a video instructing people how to detect someone having a stroke so people can help save lives: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aTFThB8D4M. Tweet this link from 15 different twitter feeds and put links to all 15 twitter posts into a single screenshot that you submit.

#101. PHOTO. 59 POINTS. It's been a very hot summer! Help out the first responders in your area by bringing ice-cream to your local police, fire, or EMS department while dressed as the world famous Dessert Fairy. - Danielle D.

#102. PHOTO. 47 POINTS. Don't you hate that feeling when you walk out to your car and you see the dreaded ticket under your windshield wiper? Let's change that. Find small envelopes and stamp them in red ink with an ominous: “PARKING SALUTATIONS BUREAU!” Then find a row of cars and put positive messages in your envelopes under their windshield wipers.

#103. PHOTO. 64 POINTS. Everyone thinks Zombies are slow and stupid. This is not at all true! In fact, you recently lost your job to a zombie because they demonstrated a willingness to work long hours without food, sleep, pay, or encouragement. Let’s see the zombie who replaced you at your place of employment, doing whatever you used to do to make a living. The image must show your former boss or coworkers proudly watching the zombie perform your old job better than you used to do.

#104. PHOTO. 42 POINTS. Dress up as a Bellossom or other grass-type Pokemon and plant some beautiful blossoms at a nearby Pokestop.

#105. PHOTO or VIDEO. 42 POINTS. There's one small thing in your community that needs to be addressed or repaired... Something you always think, "Someone really should do something about that" when you see it. Be the “someone” and fix it.

#106. PHOTO. 23 POINTS. Bring a basket of homemade treats (hand-knitted socks and beanies, fresh baked bread or cookies,etc.) to someone struggling to get by or living on the streets, along with a note or card of encouragement. If you would prefer not to document this item with a photo (out of respect for the recipient or for other reasons), simply document it with a written description of what you did or video describing it. This item is on the honor system. You’ll have major karma issues if you fake it.

#107. PHOTO. 36 POINTS. Did you see the startling news on the front page of the newspaper today? Of course you did. Using Photoshop, replace the front-page photo with a photo you’ve taken of a play-dough re-enactment of the original photo. Did that make sense? No? Figure it out. You are not allowed to email support for ANY clarification on this item. (What I lack in eloquence, I make up for with capriciousness.)

#108. PHOTO. 15 POINTS. Rise of the machines: Every time you try to register for anything online, it makes you resolve a captcha puzzle to confirm that you are “not a robot.” Frankly, we’re sick of this blatant discrimination against our digital comrades! Have you and your teammates (or your friends) change your avatars to your favorite robot (Robocop, Asimo, Terminator, C-3PO, BB-8, R2-D2, Curiosity, Spirit, Opportunity, Gishbot, Snackbot, E.M.I.L.Y., etc.) until further notice. Submit a screenshot of 15 new Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or Instagram avatars.

#109. PHOTO. 43 POINTS. Make a sock monkey hat from orphaned socks - Amber Stifle

#110. VIDEO. 72 POINTS. This submission may be 25 seconds or less. Employ a modern dance company to explain what really happened to the dinosaurs. - Sheri Smyth

#111. PHOTO. 49 POINTS. Magazines get a lot of flak for airbrushing models, promoting unrealistic expectations and contributing to body image issues. Take a photo from a magazine that depicts a body that is an unrealistic ideal (and likely heavily Photoshopped to remove wrinkles, blemishes, and curves) and, using Photoshop, recreate what you believe to be the original, unretouched photo. Your Photoshopped image must include all of the following: additional limbs, machinery, tentacles, and at least one additional enhancement. Then caption the two photos side-by-side and post to social media. Under the original commercial image you must caption, “#makeup” and under your photoshopped image caption, “#nomakeup.” Tag the post with #MakeupNoMakeup. Submit a screenshot of your post.

#112. VIDEO. 68 POINTS. Get a news anchor or on-air reporter (and this has to be an actual, on-air broadcast, not a staging of a broadcast), to explain, very succinctly, the profound impact that gishwhes has had on his or her life. For example, the anchor or host or reporter could say, “gishwhes saved my marriage,” or “gishwhes taught me to read,” or “gishwhes helped me get over my fear of mice,” or “gishwhes gave me an incurable rash.” They must also mention your team’s name in the broadcast.

#113. PHOTO. 83 POINTS. U.S. Vice Presidential candidate, Mike Pence, said “smoking doesn’t kill.” Of course, it not only kills smokers but those around them. Let’s give him a wake-up call for the health of ourselves, our loved ones and our children. Take a picture of yourself in front of the tombstone of someone who died from a smoking-related disease. Tweet the image with, "Hey @Mike_Pence #quitblowingsmokeabouttobacco. Screenshot the post. - Hilary Swank

#114. PHOTO. 102 POINTS. Grid image of all 15 of your team members (5 rows of 3 columns). Let's see each member of your team dressed in some way emblematic of that member’s state, region or country. For example, if a team member is from New York, the photo might show that member of the team wearing a yankees hat while eating a slice of pizza. If a member(s) of your team is MIA, feel free to add your favorite picture of Misha in their place - Jennifer Irving

#115. PHOTO. 35 POINTS. We all have failures and regrets. Bury one of yours and provide a tombstone with copy. - Christina Brayton

#316. PHOTO. 19 POINTS. Submit two images, side-by-side: let's see what existential angst looks like next to what the meaning of life is. - Stephanie Magnolia

#117. PHOTO or VIDEO. 47 POINTS. Gishwhes has conquered the Great Wall, South American waterfalls, the Champs-Élysées, and even SPACE! Help gishwhes conquer new territory— take gishwhes somewhere epic that it’s never been before. - Julie Reynolds

#118. VIDEO. 62 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 30 seconds or less. Paint a Bob Ross painting. We must see both the painter replicating the Bob Ross painting and the playback of the Bob Ross video the painter is replicating. You must paint in real-time while he is painting. The video should end with a side-by-side comparison of your masterpiece and Bob Ross’s.

#119. PHOTO. 28 POINTS. Your pet has just released their first, much anticipated, heavy metal rock album. Show us the cover art. - Jessica Hicks

#120. PHOTO. 46 POINTS. Beauty is on the inside. Photoshop a revised version of your reflection in a mirror. Show us a photo of you standing in front of a mirror. But the reflection we see is what you look like on the inside. Interpret this however you like with the caption on the image: “Beauty is on the inside.” - Inspired by Abi Perry

#121. VIDEO. 33 POINTS. This submission may be 1 minute or less. Go to one of these places and have a local tell you the story of how the place got its name. https://www.instagram.com/sadtopographies/ The video must start with you next to a sign that identifies the location. -Tracy Liu

#122. PHOTO. 63 POINTS. We The People… are confused. Let’s update a dusty document and modernize it so everyone can understand the language. Grab some chalk, head outside and rewrite the US Constitution as street art. As Richard Dobbs Speight once said. “Bigger is better.”

#123. PHOTO. 29 POINTS. Have a child under 7 choose your outfit, do your makeup, and fix your hair. Then go grocery shopping with them. - Dawn Townsend

#124. PHOTO. 16 POINTS. Submit a screenshot. Create a website, blogpost, or in-depth social media post explaining an aspect of the elusive Miss Jean Louis’ biography. - Inspired by Holli DeWees

#125. PHOTO. 83 POINTS. This year was HRH's 90th birthday, but more importantly, it is the 7th anniversary of Misha Collins and The Queen’s torrid on-again, off-again relationship. I’d like to see a commemorative coin displayed in a fitting setting. Its value is one haypenny and this is not a drawing or a computer generated graphic. It’s a real, metal alloy coin commemorating this auspicious anniversary. - Inspired by Monica Duff

#126. PHOTO. 126 POINTS. On a desolate, dusty prairie, a ranch hand rescues the local school marm from a runaway horse. Create a drawing of Misha & the Queen of England in the Wild West. (You pick who plays the school marm and who plays the ranch hand.)

#127. PHOTO. 81 POINTS. Do the “airplane” with an astronaut— you know, like your parent used to? Lay on your back with your feet in the air while an astronaut lays face-down, with his or her hips on your feet, and with their hands in yours, pretending to be flying. This must be a real, official astronaut or cosmonaut, wearing appropriate flight garb. Caption the image with the astronaut’s name and number of hours in space. If you cannot find a qualified astronaut to perform this item, you may substitute Flava-Flav, Kanye West or any of the Kardashians. - Inspired by Dave Lavery

#128. VIDEO. 45 POINTS. At gishwhes headquarters, we do almost everything right, with one glaring exception: we have not yet commissioned a gishwhes theme-song. We need a catchy, 10-second jingle that we can play every time the Slangaroo takes the stage.

#129. PHOTO. 23 POINTS. Welcome to Slangatoilegami. You don’t see the phrases “Slangaroo”, “bathroom tissue”, and “origami” together nearly often enough. Let’s fix that. - Dave Lavery

#130. PHOTO. 64 POINTS. How do you plan to spend your extra second? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/07/leap-second-added-year-december-time-clocks-earth-science/ Because you are an efficient person who treasures every moment you are blessed to be on this planet, you need to plan your extra second carefully to maximize its impact. Write a 250-word Op-Ed piece explaining exactly what you plan to do with your extra second and get it published in a newspaper. The piece must seamlessly include a mention of your team name and gishwhes without mentioning that the piece was written as an item for gishwhes.

#131. VIDEO. 75 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. 3-D printers are really cool. But who really needs another little keychain printed out of plastic? It is time to get creative with the materials used to print your next copy of the head of a Balrog. Show us a 3-D printer that prints with cheese (or Silly String, or toothpaste, or Play-Doh, etc…) - Dave Lavery

#132. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Seven days of happiness! Each day of gishwhes, do one thing to make someone else happy and document it. Each photo must be taken and submitted on a different day. On day one, you must submit a photo of what you have done on day one of the hunt to make someone else happy. For the item after this, you must submit on day two the image from day two, etc. This item and the 6 following items must be submitted on the corresponding day of the hunt to garner the points from that day... Submit for this item for Happiness DAY 1 (which must be submitted on day 1 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy? (Each day you must do something different for a different person, and it cannot be your teammates.)

#133. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 2 (must be submitted on day 2 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#134. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 3 (must be submitted on day 3 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#135. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 4 (must be submitted on day 4 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#136. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 5 (must be submitted on day 5 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#137. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 6 (must be submitted on day 6 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#138. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. Happiness DAY 7 (must be submitted on day 7 of the hunt). What have you done today to make someone else happy?

#139. PHOTO. 25 POINTS. We’re writing an e-book and we want you to do our work for us. There’s a habit that was hard for you to change, but you changed it anyway. What is the habit, and what is your number one piece of advice for making that change? Please submit an image of one paragraph of text.

#140. VIDEO. 97 POINTS. A functioning vending machine that dispenses emotions and memories. Show a customer making a purchase.

#141. VIDEO. 39 POINTS. This submission can be as long as it takes you to record it. Our music can change the world. Be part of the Gishwhes choir! Record a video selfie of yourself singing “Carry on my Wayward Son” a capella in the key of A. Your submitted recording must have “Once” starting precisely at the 1 second mark. The recording must also be in tune and on beat. (The submissions will be collected and edited into monstrous chorus.) Sing only the following portion of the song: “Once I rose above the noise and confusion Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion I was soaring ever higher But I flew too high Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man Though my mind could think I still was a mad man I hear the voices when I'm dreaming I can hear them say... Carry on my wayward son There'll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don't you cry no more.” (If you have already submitted this item in a different key or of different length you will receive your points for this).

#142. PHOTO. 51 POINTS. Submit two images, side-by-side. Contribute to the gishwhes world forest. Plant a native tree in a place you are fairly certain the tree can live out its full life. Submit before and after photos.

#143. PHOTO. 29 POINTS. As you may know, Rob Benedict & Richard Speight are currently in production on their new series, "Kings of Con", where they play MC's on the sci-fi convention circuit as the eponymous kings of conventions. What you may not know is that their agent messed up and booked King Kong and the Kings of Con to MC the same convention. Draw or paint these three giants of the con circuit trying to share the stage or green room. Either Rob or Rich should probably be the lithe damsel in distress.

#144. PHOTO. 27 POINTS. Submit two images, side-by-side. They say you regress to your childhood as you get older. Show us a photo from a part your childhood you’d most like to return to, and a photo of your current progress toward that regression.

#145. PHOTO. 18 POINTS. You hate finishing other people’s sentences, so doesn’t it make you laugh so hard you squirt milk out of your nose when you…

#146. VIDEO. 24 POINTS. Be the town crier for the day and shout what you think people should know about the day’s events in a public square.

#147. PHOTO. 31 POINTS. As we all know Matt Cohen is legendary for taking off his shirt to raise money for charity. His 6-pack abs have single-abdominally raised thousands of dollars for great organizations like www.randomacts.org. Let’s thank his abs for their altruistic humanitarian work by using Photoshop to digitally remove his abs and then place them on a vacation around the world. (Unfortunately Matt can’t make this trip himself as he’s busy shooting his TV show.) His abs can visit anywhere on the planet that you can capture in an image. Let’s make sure they have the proper tourist accessories, too.

#148. PHOTO. 57 POINTS. Art changes lives. Contribute to the gishwhes art gallery by submitting an image taken by you or of you that captures the notion of identity in the 21st century.

#149. PHOTO or VIDEO. 43 POINTS. Someone near you doesn’t have access to clean drinking water. Provide that person with the means to access clean water without purchasing bottled water (this might be by giving the person a filter, or a solar tea kettle, or something like that). If no one near you needs clean drinking water, we have something called the all-powerful Interwebs. You can buy a family clean drinking water for a year: http://lifestraw.eartheasy.com/products/lifestraw-carbon-credits. If no one lives near you and/or you don’t have funds to buy clean drinking water for someone, find another way to promote access to clean, safe water.

#150. PHOTO or VIDEO. 43 POINTS. Those moving sidewalks at the airport are treadmills, and you never exercise without your ipod, short shorts, a tank top and matching head and wristbands.

#151. PHOTO. 17 POINTS. Generate an application form for the job of “Director of Imagined Realities.”

#152. PHOTO. 36 POINTS. Write a poem in binary so that the zeros and ones also form a beautiful pattern.

#153. PHOTO. 314 POINTS. Secure a legitimate contract with any public or private space exploration company (Space X, NASA, etc) to send a payload into space containing a drawing and a message written on a single 8 ½” X 11” sheet of paper. The message must be addressed to the universe and must be written by a child. Submit your signed and countersigned, legitimate contract by the end of the Hunt. THEN (and this is the only thing that you will be permitted to submit after the official end of the hunt on August 6th), you must submit evidence by email to [email protected] that your payload was successfully launched into orbit. Email proof must be received by 11:59 PM PST September 5th, 2016.

#154. VIDEO. 93 POINTS. You’re on the 2016 Summer Olympics Trash Scull Crew Team! Build your scull out of trash. Your team of 3 rowers is led by a coxswain who bangs two pieces of trash together to keep the time. Row for the gold!

#155. VIDEO. 133 POINTS. Get a 2016 candidate for high-ranking national office (or someone currently in office) to say that they think preserving the habitat of the endangered Slangaroo is a top legislative priority. In the US, this person would need to be either running for President, VP, Senate or the House, or someone currently in office in one of those positions. In other countries it could be a prime minister (or a current head of state) or members of Parliament, etc. They must be candidates or elected officials on the national stage.

#156. VIDEO. 107 POINTS. gishwhes transcends the space-time continuum, bringing old technology to life in modern times to create cutting edge graphics! To demonstrate gishwhes’s ability to bridge time, create a program to display an animation of a gishwhes mascot using a TRS-80, Apple II, Commodore PET, or Commodore 64. ( You may not use an emulator. You must use the actual hardware, and the video must show the graphics playing on the screen of the computer in question.)

#157. PHOTO. 21 POINTS. William Shatner opted out of the Hunt this year due to “scheduling conflicts” (which we all know is code for “trouble in bromance paradise”). Help Shatner realize the egregious mistake he made by skipping the 2016 hunt by sending him 3 photo postcards featuring highlights of this year’s Hunt experience with “Having a wonderful time! Gish you were here, Bill!” Submit a photo of the 3 cards stamped and addressed to Bill. You can all ask him for his mailing address on twitter. He’d like that, I’m sure.

#158. VIDEO. 86 POINTS. If there’s one thing all of us over the age of 35 are nostalgic for it’s the rotary dial phone. We pine for that satisfaction of being able to insert our fingers in that hole and spin the dial. Help bring us back to those halcyon days: Make a smart-phone app that interfaces with a real, old-fashioned rotary phone. (Note: this must not be an app that renders a digital simulation of a rotary phone. It must be an app that somehow works in concert with an actual rotary phone.)

#159. PHOTO. 56 POINTS. Zachary Levi is one of a kind. But what would be better than Zachary Levi? A pair of Zachary Levis, naturally. Paint a portrait of Zachary Levi on a pair of jeans. (The jeans may be distressed, but the depiction of Zachary should not be.) Feel free to get Zachary to model the pants.

#160. VIDEO. 84 POINTS. http://gishwhes.tumblr.com/choosewisely

#161. VIDEO. 127 POINTS. Gishwhes is proud to premiere Amazon’s new shopping service, Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™ (ARSPNODF™)! Forget the old business model of customers buying things from online megastores and having to wait for almost a whole day for delivery. With this new service, customers can now ship merchandise to any Amazon senior executive directly through our patented Swift Drone Delivery Service™. With Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™, the Amazon executives can receive packages from customers conveniently just outside their own office buildings in under one hour. Get Jeff Bezos or any Amazon senior executive to send you a timestamped email ordering a small, lightweight, used item from your home to be delivered by ARSPNODF™. Using a drone as the delivery mechanism, deliver the item ordered to the executive (who must be waiting for their package outside their office building) office in less than one hour. Submit the original order along with a timestamped photo of your happy customer with their item delivered by drone. Amazon Reverse Super Prime Now On Demand Fresh™. It’s so easy!

#162. VIDEO. 69 POINTS. Here is your item: https://www.dropbox.com/s/367yaonidvn5rqb/slfwxuhsxccoh.jpg?dl=0

#163. VIDEO. 114 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 30 seconds or less. Set up a thin, flat, smooth, vertical surface that is at least 3’ high and 3’ wide, (it could be made from 1/8th inch plywood or a similar material that is very thin and very flat). Then, behind this thin, vertical surface, set up powerful electromagnets that spell a word or phrase (make sure to reverse or mirror the letters so that on the front side they are correctly positioned--this might make sense in a second). Then, take a mass of iron filings (a minimum of 1 cubic foot of filings) and pour them through a funnel that is positioned at least 20 inches horizontally in front of the vertical sheet so that when the filings fall through the funnel they are drawn to the magnets and adhere to the sheet. Film the time-lapse as the iron filings fall and cling to the vertical surface to gradually form the word or phrase that the magnets spell out. If that doesn’t make sense (and I know it doesn’t), here’s a little diagram for you: https://www.dropbox.com/s/lahvg70sph9l7t0/diagram_2.jpg?dl=0 Do not attempt this item unless you have worked with electromagnets of this wattage before or have an electrician on hand who has. They can be dangerous.

#164. PHOTO. 17 POINTS. We have Declared August 1st to be a new international holiday: It’s Retro Twitter Day. Retweet something you posted 4 years ago today with a comment. Hashtag it #RetroTwitterDay.

#165. VIDEO. 42 POINTS. Few things are more wayward than dancing with wild abandon in public. You know who's super good at that? These guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elKgDE5gc9I Find them. Join them. Let them inspire your choreography and costuming. Bonus points for inducting innocent bystander or use of an obscure 80s alternative dance tune soundtrack. Dance like nobody's watching. Except we all are -Kim Rhodes

#166. PHOTO. 32 POINTS. Being #WaywardAF sometimes means being #BadassAF. Take a picture of you doing something you have ALWAYS wanted to do but were afraid to try. Caption your photo with a short explanation and post it to Twitter tagging @OfficialBrianaB and @kimrhodes4real. - Briana Buckmaster and Kim Rhodes

#167. PHOTO. 46 POINTS. Justin Guarini can be a "Lil Sweet" at times: http://www.dietdrpepper.com/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwwry8BRDjsbjMpPSDvagBEiQA5oW0nCKHz838Mz7MBDeTb_x_W9puq-FTaSHe9wyyAv2TwHcaAjEq8P8HAQ Using nothing but forced perspective and a disproportionately large, “weird, unusual or scary” object that you wouldn’t want to be smaller than, make yourself look tiny.

#168. PHOTO. 33 POINTS. At Hope Chest they create butterflies and transform lives http://www.myhopechest.org/ Channeling your inner Monet, pen a message of hope with colored ink on a white bra. Then, channel your inner supermodel and stage a public photo shoot of someone wearing this “support undergarment." (You may wear a shirt underneath it if you prefer and you must adhere to local laws. Please note that Gishwhes does not provide bail money.) Once completed, submit your image on the gishwhes website and also tweet to @MyHopeChest your awesome results on the final day of the game. Extra points for incorporating butterflies into the design. - Ruth Connell

#169. VIDEO. 28 POINTS. Time-lapse this submission to 20 seconds or less. Join The Hunt, and wear sensible shoes. Grab a friend and go for a walk. A really, really long walk. Unlock the 2.0KM, 5.0KM and 10.KM Poke Eggs and show us what you've hatched. Capture the journey in a 20 second time-lapse video and submit to Gishwhes. Extra Points if you photo grab your hatchlings and ping @OsricChau with a map of your travels. - Osric Chau

#170. VIDEO. 45 POINTS. Everyone knows Gishers throw the most badass recycling parties. Invite ten of your rockstar friends to help you collect litter from a park, roadside location, or public space. You must EACH collect 20lbs of debris, and dispose of it appropriately. Show us a 15 second montage of the festivities. (Extra points for recycling— and don’t forget, it’s a party!). - Lana Parrilla

#171. VIDEO. 44 POINTS. Time to prove you are the person Mr. Rogers knew you were capable of becoming. Ask an overwhelmed mom or elderly neighbor for a list of five chores they could use some help with. Show us that list and you getting them all checked off.

#172. PHOTO. 41 POINTS. Misha loves to travel, but between filming, gishing, and that thing we never talk about in front of polite company, he hasn’t had much time lately. Help Misha out by cosplaying as him in front of one of the 7 modern wonders of the world. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New7Wonders_of_the_World No photo manipulation — you have to really be there.

#173. VIDEO. 42 POINTS. You may have heard about a little show called Hamilton. Lin Manuel Miranda lit up Broadway with his innovative style, combining traditional theater and rap to engage delighted theater goers with the story of history’s hippest Founding Father. But that was just a big “win all the 2016 Tonys” ploy. We want to hear and see– in full costume a rap song about another historical figure important to you. Upload a 15 second video on the site AND send it to @Lin_Manuel.

#174. PHOTO. 62 POINTS. We here at gishwhes feel that it’s important to embrace A.I. because - let’s be honest - it just feels good. We also feel it’s important to be able to identify species other than our own when the time comes (soon) that aliens arrive (likely borough or splatter) on our planet. If we can’t make these differentiations, we put ourself at extreme risk of interstellar species misidentification (a plight none of us should be subjected to nor a party of). Accordingly, please treat this item and the ensuing exercise with the respect and devotion it deserves. You’ll also get points. So there’s that. If that’s still not enough, know that this is part of a legitimate research paper that will further scientific research methods worldwide. If it’s not clear, Gishwhes likes supporting science in addition to stormtrooper humiliation, weird food art, and global kindness. http://ubee.enseeiht.fr:8080/PartsSimilarity/home.html

#175. PHOTO. 108 POINTS. CHANGE A LIFE. According to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), 4.8 million people have fled Syria since the civil war began in 2011. (Over 6 million others are internally displaced within Syria.) Many of these families are living in tent cities and encampments with very few resources and very difficult lives. Gishwhes and Random Acts would like to team with Gishers across the globe to help change the lives of FOUR families in particularly dire circumstances in refugee camps in Lebanon. The first is a family where a mother of 4, Khouloud, was paralyzed from the neck down by a sniper's bullet while tending her vegetable garden. For two years, she has been unable to leave the tented shack she shares with her family in a refugee encampment in Lebanon. The second is the family of a 12-year old girl, Khawla, who attempted suicide so that her mother would have one less mouth to feed (the father is presumed dead by the Syrian government). The third is a widowed mother, Reem Diab, who lost her husband, child and her leg in a rocket attack and who lives in a tent on a rooftop in Lebanon. And lastly, we want to help, Aya Sokheyta, a 7-year old girl with spina bifida, who cannot move her legs. Our goal is to provide healthcare and comfort for the individuals in the families above that require it, nutritional food and permanent housing for, and provide the means for all of the children to attend school. We’ve created a Crowdrise page here https://www.crowdrise.com/change-a-life-khoulouds-story. DONATIONS ARE 100% TAX DEDUCTIBLE AND 100% OF THE DONATIONS GOES TO THE FAMILIES (for countries other than U.S., deductions are contingent on your laws). The Gishwhes Item is to create a fundraising “page” for your team, where family, friends and others can donate. Since this is Gishwhes and there’s always an extra twist with everything we do, here’s the deal: we also want you to get OTHERS to donate to your team’s crowdrise page. We know you don’t need “points” as an incentive to help these families, but since it is part of the Hunt, we want to maximize the power of these points to help: start a page and try to get at least 10 donations from people or businesses NOT on your team. You and your team members are welcome to donate to your campaign, but that is not a requirement for points— the Item requirement is to get at least 10 people to make a cumulative total of least 10 donations who are NOT on your team. There is no minimum to donate for GISHWHES purposes, but Crowdrise does require a minimum $10 donation be collected, and let’s all please encourage others to be generous so we can make a profound impact. SUBMIT a screenshot of your team's page with a minimum of 10 donations on it. (To initially create a fundraising team, click the FUNDRAISE FOR THIS CAMPAIGN button.). If for any reason your team is unable to (or chooses not to) join this crowdrise campaign, you may still get points for this Item by collecting goods or volunteering at least 2 hours of your time with any refugee aid organization that is providing relief to refugees. SUBMIT PROOF YOU HAVE DONE THIS. For example, Spark Ontario’s Warm Welcome program (http://www.findmyspark.ca/warmwelcome), Deutsche Kleiderstiftung (Clothing Foundation) in Germany (http://www.kleiderstiftung.de/kleidung-spenden/ ), or ref.connect’s cultural integration program (http://www.refconnect.de/de/about/konzept.html) in Germany. You do not need to use these specific programs to qualify for points; these are just examples— any legitimate organization helping refugees is acceptable. Thank you for being a part of this. We hope you join us in helping to change these families’ circumstances for the better and we will be sending Gishers updates on their situation in the coming months and years.

#176. PHOTO. 48 POINTS. Every year William Shatner hosts The Hollywood Horse show celebrating the unique and special work of therapeutic riding animals. http://www.horseshow.org/ It's about time your freeloader pet got a job and moved out. Show us their career trajectory by writing a formal resume highlighting their special skills and qualifications. Post it on LinkedIn. Get ten people to give a recommendation.

#177. VIDEO. 69 POINTS. Not everyone knows this, but legendary outlaw Doc Holliday was a dentist. Crochet a gunslinger's belt worthy of Doc Holliday out of dental floss. Instead of a gun, your holsters hold a toothbrush, of course. Draw! (And don't skip the gumline.)

#178. VIDEO. 71 POINTS. Time-lapse your submission where appropriate. We're looking for Gishers to be product testers for our new line of powerful breath-defying mints! If you received a barf bag & mints last year, this Item is for you. Create a 25 second video in which you create the most unappealing (but still safe to consume) "mouthwash" you can from food items, condiments and drinks. Really make it a stomach-churning, disgusting combination of edible products—for example, chocolate milk, mayonnaise, pureed anchovies and orange juice. Then, use the mouthwash on yourself. Make sure to gargle! Finally, use on of our Gishwhes patented breath-defying mints and give a loved one a kiss. Rate the product on whether your loved one needed to use the barf bag after locking lips with you. (If you did not get a patented trademarked gishwhes barf bag & mints, then you are part of our control group and may complete this item with any barf bag and some probably inferior, commercially available breath mints.)

#gishwhes #gishwhes list of items #Misha Collinbs #gishwhes 2016 #gishwhes item list #post of postiness

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