#this is hyperbole BUT i do also feel it so so so much lmao

[queenerdloser]

once again asserting that the simple air conditioner remains humanity's best invention and i am including literally all technology when i say that

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[phregnancy]

Sometimes I read bottom Dan fic from a few years ago and I'm like "who are these people?" lol. It's like people totally disregarded Phil's personality in order for him to fit the stereotypical mold they'd cast him in. It was the same for Dan tbh. Lbr the only reason why people thought Dan was the bottom is bc he's younger and more outwardly feminine than Phil. The idea that bottom= submissive and top= dominate is flawed anyway, but also...Dan is not submissive. He's quite bossy and controlling. In the past, I'd even say he could be domineering. I don't see their dynamic as even being Dom/sub tbh. It's more of a playful power struggle. Except Dan fights by asserting dominance and Phil fights by being cute and whining until Dan gives in or being an absolute menace and annoying Dan into submission lmao

rewriting this for the third time because my app keeps refreshing </3 but i agree with alllll of this. putting it under a cut because i got way off course and went on a tangent lol

someone recently said that they can tell who of us have been actively engaged in diverse irl queer communities (clubs, bars, sports leagues, activism groups, etc) vs who of us haven’t and i’ve been thinking about that a lot in regards to this. obviously nothing wrong with not engaging with your irl queer communities, some people don’t have access or don’t feel comfortable or simply don’t want to and all of that is fine - but you do have to work harder to unlearn a lot of heteronormative concepts like these and you have to familiarize yourself with queer culture and history (outside of social media). people’s outward presentations of masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with their sexual preferences, and dan has shared that exact sentiment in so many words (wondering if people think he’s a bottom because he’s slightly more feminine, and then discouraging that narrative as a whole). i also think there was a lot of hyperbolizing with their masculine and feminine presentations, because for a long time dan really was not that feminine and phil really was not that masculine. they were both emo nerd boys who played video games and drank too much soda. even now with personas like sister daniel, that really is not the height of femininity in queer culture or drag culture.

i think there’s also something to be said about people’s lack of familiarity with queer culture showing in people’s thoughts on them being in an open relationship and also 2009 bottom dan.

i don’t particularly care about the open relationship discourse one way or another, but a lot of mlm relationships are open. there are studies and statistics on this, gay men are the most comfortable and open to open relationships. if they hooked up with people when dan was touring or even just someone every now and then, it wouldn’t be as shocking as some people make it out to be. i also think there’s a problem with people conflating open relationships with polyamory, and those two things are often very different. people in open relationships tend to be committed to each other, but will sometimes want to have noncommittal sex with other people. polyamory is having multiple committed relationships (romantic or sexual). clingy phil and possessive dan having noncommittal sex with other people wouldn’t change that they’re still clingy x possessive. and if you’re actively engaged in irl queer communities vs online echo chambers you’ll learn this.

i’m getting way off course here lol but then in regards to people thinking 2009 dan was bottoming as a default, that’s been a pet peeve of mine since forever because it shows a lack of familiarity with mlm relationships. it’s extremely unlikely that dan’s first gay sexual experiences were being on the receiving end of anal sex, that takes time to get used to (with yourself and with a partner) and often isn’t most men’s first gay sexual position. they also weren’t together long enough until phil got his first apartment to have dan be familiar enough with anal to take phil’s dick every time he visited. i know everyone thinks little twink dan taking phil’s big dick is so hot, but big dicks can be painful and are something you work yourselves towards. and y’know, who knows what actually went on in that bedroom so much cherry everywhere, but i do think we should dispel some of these beliefs that again are playing into heteronormativity (little feminine dan taking big masculine emo phil)

dan has always been bossy and controlling and he was quite confident with the people he was comfortable around (phil + other youtubers + his audience) and then grew to be a confident person in general. i see them as a real brat x brat relationship with them being bratty in different ways (bossy/teasing vs whiney/pushing buttons).

here’s my last thing (thanks for reading this novel if you made it this far) - there is a difference between knowing all of this, and still just preferring bottom sub dan x top dom phil because you think it’s hot, vs believing there’s no other dynamics that could exist because of heteronormative stereotypes that you are actively playing into. like what you like and have fun! but please work on educating yourself and unlearning heteronormativity. sorry for the spiel!

[valtsv]

web crozier anon here again subjecting you to my thoughts about the “bad” ending

is controlling tuunbaq a web power? i agree that tuunbaq is part of the hunt but the control (or at least compulsion) aspect of the binding ritual feels like it could be part of web avatarism

and do ALL the men become avatars? i feel like they’re all some degree of eye aligned for going on the expedition in the first place but how far does that go? rather than avatarism i can see those outside the main ensemble being walking corpses animated by the web out of crozier’s pure will for them to survive. that thought is horrifying and i love it

could extend the same idea to hickey’s group. maybe they’re all slowly replaced by the stranger (instead of saw dust they’re filled with packed ice and snow) or the flesh (they eat each other alive but no one ever dies. their bodies regrow the meat in increasingly grotesque forms)

i have more to say but i’ll stop there lmao

no no no this is FANTASTIC. in my au tuunbaq is manifestation of the hunt and the shamans function as avatars and guides who keep the tuunbaq away from causing harm to the local netsilik population by providing it with alternative sources of fear (mostly in the form of other animals, and also their own ever-present fear of becoming prey). it's a tenuous but successfully established coexistence. when silna's father is shot, however, the tuunbaq goes rogue without an avatar to guide it and starts attacking the crews. since franklin is infected by the hunt in this, he's one of the first to die as he's identified as a rival and forced into the role of prey.

as for the "everyone is an avatar" au, i was being hyperbolic; i mostly meant the more "in focus" characters with enough of an established characterization and plot arc to build off of. i was also thinking, though, that crozier's desire to get as many men out alive as possible could manifest in some unpleasant ways through the web, especially since the "mother of puppets" is canonically a very protective and possessive entity, so i fucking LOVE the idea of men being literally unable to die and/or becoming some form of animated corpses because crozier refuses to accept losing them.

as for hickey's mutineers, i also really like the idea that they become so changed by what they do that they become strangers to themselves and gradually assimilate into the stranger's troupe. so yeah. thanks so much for the inspiration.

[bonefall]

a small thing about canon warriors that really rubs me the wrong way is how much play is demonized for literally no reason? there are just. so many scenes where the pov character bats something around and is immediately shamed for it by another character. or they stop as soon as they realize what they’re doing and go “ugh that was so EMBARRASSING i hope nobody saw”

the weirdest example happens in graystripe’s adventure when he chases a butterfly for 0.2 seconds and then is like “oh no being a kittypet is making me act like a kit!1!” as if play behavior is exclusive to kittens and that housecats are only playful because they’re undisciplined and soft or whatever.

realism is usually a non-issue when it comes to canon warriors, but these cats are shown to have intrinsic play/hunting instincts, yet they’re shunned and infantilized by clan culture as well as the narrative. it just makes me really uncomfortable, especially as an autistic person. there is no reason why it needs to be a part of this series, all it does is make clan culture feel that much more joyless and dystopian.

I agree, it IS weird. Graystripe should have followed the butterfly hoping it would lead him home like Moth Flight, and then when it lands on a flower he calls it a slur

Hyperbole of a point being; Clan culture should have a ton of problems, but very particular problems. It's xenophobic, battle-obsessed, ableist, and insular. Its religion is powerful, but can also be used oppressively.

As it is canonically, there's almost NOTHING good about this little society, it's miserable.

They shouldn't HATE playing and have absolutely no downtime. It's brutal and limits the story; the characters can't just hang out. They can't just get to know each other. They can't be alone with their thoughts. It's beyond dystopian.

Anyway it's something I intentionally set out to fix with my Clan Culture expansions lmao. They have games. They throw celebrations. They nap and hang out and watch butterflies. There's still a ton of problems and they value the concept of hard work, but there IS downtime.

Like, it's not capitalist lmao.

[owlbelly]

got tagged by @tragediegh to do the ROTE question meme but all my answers would be pretty much the same as @roostercrowned & also i am in one of my occasional "thinking too much about the actual books is emotionally overwhelming so i am avoiding it" periods. truly cannot recall another piece of media that ever made me feel this way

like what do you even call it when you care so deeply about a fictional relationship & it also upset you SO much that you are both long-term obsessed with it in a positive way & also mildly traumatized by it / occasionally too exhausted to deal with it

i feel like i've been seeing people talk about feeling this way in fandoms for years & i always assumed it had to be hyperbolic or it was purely the domain of teenagers. lmao i don't actually think most teens have the depth of life experience & resulting emotional complexity to even get this fucked up on story. anyway i'm turning 37 this year & Robin Hobb ruined me

[thebreakfastgenie]

beejhawk 👀

LMAO I was just sitting here like "no one even bothers to send me beejhawk anymore" but bless you to the bottom of your pot-stirring heart, anon.

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I have several reasons, which I will get into it, but I'm going to start with this one: I like a happy ending. Beejhawk cannot be a happy ending to me. I'm not entirely convinced any Hawkeye/4077th ship being endgame can be a happy ending, even the ones I like. I want to see Hawkeye move on from the war, which is what GFA is setting him up to do. Beejhawk keeps him stuck with the war defining his life. That's depressing to me. In the larger narrative of Hawkeye's life, it's important to me that the war is unimportant. The war being how Hawkeye met the love of his life gives me the ick. It implicitly suggests the war was somehow worth it. I can't think of a single reason why I would ship it. I think the biggest reason is it's simply too OOC for me. I cannot believe that Hawkeye would be in love with BJ. That is not Hawkeye to me. I actually can believe that BJ would be in love with Hawkeye, even though BJ is extremely straight to me, but I can't see Hawkeye reciprocating, ever. I've read some beejhawk fic and a lot of posts, and the way Hawkeye behaves and is characterized doesn't just feel wrong to me, it feels wrong in the way I hate the most. BJ is usually wildly OOC too. The other big reason is the complete lack of chemistry. They have negative romantic chemistry to me. This is a much smaller reason, but the things people get from beejhawk I get from other ships that make more sense to me. For a best friends ship, I have piercentyre. If I want to ship Hawkeye with someone repressed, I have hawnk or houlihawk. Sometimes I joke about this but it's kind of true that I don't need beejhawk because I have hawnk. The Joke Is Wild? Hawnk did it first. I genuinely do not understand why beejhawk is a ship at all, except that they're the two main guys. If I didn't know how slash culture worked, I would have been shocked that it even existed. In the last few seasons, I'm not even convinced they like each other. I found myself asking "do these guys even like each other?" about the alleged best friends more than once, and I had to actively rev up my suspension of disbelief to enjoy their goodbye properly the first time I watched GFA. I very strongly dislike any framing of MASH as a love story, and I have yet to find beejhawk content that doesn't turn it into the Ballad of Hawkeye and BJ. Piercentyre is fun for me, because it really changes the show very little. Beejhawk requires me to rewire the entire show, and I don't want to. A lot of moments that I adore become less meaningful to me if they're shippy. For example, Where There's a Will, There's a War. "When I wake up remind me to give you a kiss" is an expression of BJ's profound relief and a wonderful resolution to the anxiety and guilt he's been feeling for the whole episode. It's hyperbole that only works because they don't normally kiss or want to kiss. It always brings to mind a lyric from a song about WWII: "and I never kissed so many men as on that afternoon." It's not about romance, it's about being glad to be alive. I just like the show better without beejhawk. I started out a little more neutral and my visceral revulsion built through overexposure. There was also an assumption that you shipped beejhawk that I really resented. Especially because of the implications around it being slash. I am gay, I ship gay ships, I ship other gay ships in MASH. I don't ship beejhawk. I'm not required to ship every single gay ship. So all those beejhawk posts about "gay people love this" or "gay people think that" bother me and turn me off even more.

What would have made you like it? Completely different acting/chemistry. Something completely different from what I ever see the fandom do with it. I could probably be sold on unrequited (BJ's side only) or unhappy ending beejhawk in fic if it was really well done. This is your chance to plug! I think a realistic handling of it would help too. The show gives me a BJ who is as far from leaving his family as a man can be. I need to be convinced that something would change that. Meta claiming he's actually close to leaving in the show does not work for me, it directly contradicts what I see. I need writers to dig into it. Actually show me the dissolution of BJ's marriage, the pain and consequences. Show me how he manages to stay in his daughter's life, if he does. Brokeback Mountain does not shy away from how badly Ennis treats his wife and how absent he is to his children. My experience with beejhawk is that much angst is made of the obstacles to their being together, but they're quickly dispatched with. Tell me what Hawkeye sees in BJ, because I don't see it in the show.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? It inspired me to make these. I've been thinking lately that this lyric fits beejhawk "perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies." If you know me, you know this is something positive from me, because it's from what I think is one of the best songs ever written. There is some interesting potential. Just get out of the true love box! Try something dark, something one-sided (BJ's side), something that ends badly! I do really like their friendship in the first few BJ seasons.

[creepylittlelady]

Splendor Man HCs plz

Hiii!!!! Thank you so much for this ask, I love love LOVE Splendorman! I just learnt recently that he's actually meant to be Slenderman's older brother? But I'm so used to seeing him as the emotional younger sibling that I don't really wanna switch that around in my AU. Also Slenderman's backstory sorta relies on him being the oldest lmao.

Splendorman Headcanons!

-Splendorman was born the youngest, being born as Simon Gideon Durchdenwald. He was born in Prussia on October 31st, 1875. He died at the age of 26 in 1901.

-His overly happy and childish persona is sort of a coping mechanism for what he went through in life. He was often teased as a kid and spent most of his days alone, although he really did love the company of others. Not to mention the situation with Charles and his family, he was basically just in a constant state of stress all the time and as Splendorman he vowed to take it easy.

-The dude is the definition of patience. There's not much that will set this man off, and you only ever see him genuinely angry once in a century (Trender genuinely calculated it lmao). You can be every form of just shitty person and he can tolerate it. The dude is always smiling, kinda eerie sometimes......

-Due to being cursed by the Operator, he now takes on a similar form to the rest of the Slender brothers, however as he was the most 'human' out of all of them, he has a face and more human features. His tentacles are white and have little bells on them that chime everytime he's happy :3

-He LOVES doing magic and will often perform for people when they're sad. Upset? Here, have a bunny pulled from a tophat!

-His favourite song is Daisy Bell! He often sings it whilst frolicking the fields lmfao.

-He's genuinely the nicest person you'll ever met, but don't get him wrong, he can still do bad things. NEVER underestimate just how kind he can be. If he genuinely ever does lose his patience with someone, they're dead within the hour.

-He has absolutely no concept of an inside or outside voice lmfao, the dude is always really loud and really hyperbolic about everything, and he just loves using random hand gestures.

-He's an incredibly moral person and doesn't ever kill out of his own volition, and often breaks down in tears every time he ends up killing someone. He's gotten used to it now, but he still feels nauseous.

-He absolutely ADORES Halloween as alongside it just being Halloween, it's also his birthday! He throws a massive party for everyone in the Underground to come and join :3

-He truly does care and love for Slender as he just wants to help with whatever hes going through and get them out of this situation, no scratch that, he just wants to see his older brother again and just have a normal conversation with him. He tries his absolute hardest to find where Slender lives and has had no luck so far.

-He and Trender live in a manor house together in a very fashionable part of the Underground, it's definitely the brightest and most well-decorated in their neighbourhood.

-Splendor operates an ice-cream van!!!! He's also very popular with the local kiddies, and loves performing shows for them

-Lazari is somewhat aware of his existence. However, when she asked Slenderman, while Operating was controlling the body, who he was, it stated that Splendorman wasn't to be trusted, to which she just blindly listened. Although Splendorman has definitely tried to befriend her more than once, she just sort of gives a half-glance and walks away.

-He's also stumbled across Eyeless Jack and Ben Drowned before, and as they were told the same thing about him, they both turned away from him. He wonders if all three of them are correlated with them somehow.

-He hates not being liked. It's his absolute worst fear, and if someone doesn't like he goes into a panicked frenzy.

-He's actually quite smart! He doesn't like focusing his efforts on academic matters, but if you gave him a very complicated question he'd be able to answer it in a matter of minutes :3

Thanks for the request!

[losergames]

I think the start of the game is what makes people curious about how much we will be able to influence the player character and the amount of routes, as it shows a sort of climax before going backwards in time and introducing us to MC and the crew, where we are able to shape our character and their relationship with life and the crew.

However, because the Future MC is shown to be in teasing close friendship with the crew, that they are trusted enough not to mess up the codes, and that they appear to enjoy what they are doing, with a goal of implied "(One-Way (?)) Trip to the Bahamas" after the heist is done, and they scream for a specific person's help when injured, that seems to point to the story being "uncompromising" (for a lack of better wording than anything) and set in a single route on that aspect: one where MC will befriend the crew, they will form a close, optionally romantic, relationship with one of them, and they are in it for an ambigiously selfish goal.

A reluctant MC who just wants to be over the whole situation would go opposite what's depicted. An MC with a different goal (for example, one who wants money for their mother) would clash with the Bahamas goal. An MC who doesn't trust/get along with the crew wouldn't really scream for their help.

While it allows room for a reluctant MC to get into the heist and befriend the crew, it can fall at odds with an MC who, say, doesn't like the crew, and/or the situation and is in the definition of "teeth-clenched teamwork" with them.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that sort of story— I don't mind stories that come with semi-set MCs and single-direction plotlines on certain aspects, but in the light of recent discussions about the still far away ending and the options available for us to take so far, I feel like the prologue/flashforward depicted is liable to fall at odds with the choices we can take up until that part of the story comes.

ooo okay, this is really good feedback! the prologue could definitely be more ambiguous in terms of the relationship with the crew and maybe the mc's personal goals?

there is no 'bahamas goal'. the bahamas line is more of a hyperbole for how MUCH money the mc is in for, not actually referencing they want to go to the bahamas - but this can be edited if people are getting the wrong idea.

as for the name that's called when the mc is injured, it's more of a set up for when the time actually comes. yes, if the mc develops a relationship with one of the crew members then it'll probably be turned into a variable and end up being the name you shout out (spoiler alert). but, there are so many other people at that party; KJ is a good alternative i've thought about. maybe even Jonno or Natasha depending on where your friendship stands with them. plus, without giving much away, there are still characters you're yet to meet that could be involved or present at that moment.

also, personally, i think if you got shot you would scream for help from anyone nearby LMAO, even if if you didn't like them. still, we're in episode 2, i don't think we've touched on too many choices that are going to affect the end game climax, there's a lot of building to do! people making assumptions about the game and making conclusions from those assumptions is unfortunately something i can't control, but it is interesting discussion and leads to really good feedback that i am very grateful for.

i love the prologue, it's cinematic and sets up the story differently than other games. even if it's working against me right now, i'm still very proud of it! i do appreciate the feedback, i'll think about tweaking the prologue and adding more ambiguity for a later update. thank you! :-)

[ohbo-ohno]

"not even that good" bo respectfully eat my ass i lvoed rhat shit. ate that price/reader UP nomnomnom i love all of your writing smh /joking /lighthearted

forreal though absolutely impeccable id eat up 20k words of that easily 🪀

(also yes i have notifs on for your blog, and yes they get me through the work day)

i have deep-seated self-esteem issues and i think everything i write is bad & that people are lying/using hyperbole when they say they like it lmao :') i've hated like half the shit i've posted here - my top two posts have "i don't like this" somewhere in the tags! i tend to not like what i put out tbh

but im so so glad you do!!!! especially because there were a couple versions of that price x reader that i really disliked (aka: deleted), so im glad to hear the last one was much better haha

(i love hearing that people have notifs for me on because it makes me feel better about having notifs for other people on lol)

[lonelyroommp3]

idk if the correlation is actually there or just in my head, but this whole "shaming people for wanting to read smut" thing feels related to this notion that reading is something you do to get smarter and more cultivated, instead of being a hobby that you do for fun. Both of these interpretations of reading can coexist of course, but the discourse™ appears to frequently lose sight of the fact that to many ppl, reading is a leisure activity that brings them joy. And if they like to get turned on while reading something .... Good for them??? I do not consider myself a smut reader and I personally like to challenge myself with the books I read, but there absolutely are phases where I will NOT read a book unless it has romance or sex in it, because that is simply what i am in the mood for. The intense pushback against "smut readers" that frames them as a stain on the intellectual reputation of reading or whatever honestly makes me wonder if the people doing said shaming even have fun while reading. Which is hyperbolic of course but idk. the focus on the label "reader" and what it communicates has had negative impact on book discussions and reading culture online i fear.

no you're exactly right! i think people focus so much on this concept of being a Reader and of literature as this uniquely intellectual medium that they forget it's just that - a medium for telling stories that can be of absolutely any genre, style, content, medium, or level of intellectualism or seriousness. like it doesn't suddenly become this great inherently holy thing just because it's words on a page. like, whatever, i'm sure many of these people do enjoy reading because it's pretty difficult to force your way through some denser classics + literary fiction unless you're deriving some amount of pleasure from it, but i think they enjoy the sense of superiority they get from it just as much, if not even more lmao.

(also yeah i can't get behind this sort of, reader's version of the bygone hipster v fandom blogger war going on between "serious literature" and "smut readers", whether people in the latter category are going for spicy booktok hits or fanfiction on wattpad/ao3. like i don't think it's actually a problem whatsoever if somebody only wants to read smut but i also think presenting this weird false dichotomy helps precisely no one. when it comes to booktok romance i actually keep coming back to that classic designation of "beach reads" and the awareness that label has of some types of book filling a very specific and helpful niche for when you just want to read something feel good to turn your brain off, without that meaning that you're completely incapable of reading or unwilling to read anything deeper. like that's what a lot of booktok romance is. they're beach reads. they have an important function in the literary ecosystem.)

[alloveydovey]

Blah blah, dramas of this month. This is the ACTUAL month of rewatch lol.

It’s Okay, That’s Love, 2014 (kdrama) 8.5

A psychiatrist who has issues getting intimate in her relationships meets a flirty famous author who might have a lot more issues than he lets on.

Okay, so, mixed feelings. It's very different from what I've seen before, so that's a good thing. It took me a while to get into it because I didn't like the secondary characters that much. One of them is 28 and is after a high schooler, and the other one has a whole family somewhere but lives with FL, ML, and the dude in love with the teenager-- and like? He's also in a weird relationship with his ex-wife. Maybe I can't take complex characters cause what is this man doing with his life? Or maybe that's part of the theme of this drama. What are we all doing? lmao, anyway. It's more adultish, and it deals with mental health. Zo In Sung and Gong Hyo Jin are great, their acting very natural, and their chemistry is fire. It did take me a while to end it, sooo... I don't know. I'm still not sure how to rate it. Overall good, though.

One Spring Night, 2019 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 9 ⭐

A librarian meets a pharmacist. She’s already in a relationship, and he has a kid outside of wedlock.

I guess this is where cultural differences collide. This drama would make absolutely no sense where I'm from. ML is a father whose girlfriend runaway after having the child... ok? Single parents (even young ones) are a common thing where I'm from. FL breaks up with her boyfriend, but he, her father, and his ex's father as well don't seem to get the memo and insist on a wedding... absolutely insane. I do get it, though. I get that in their culture, such things (maybe a little hyperbolic) happen, so I forego the cultural contrast and absolutely adore this drama. It's one of my favorites. And not just because of Jung Hae In (although, yeah, he was the reason I watched it the first time lol). The whole cast is amazing, you hate almost every man in it, but the women... the women are so worth it. Hae Ji Min is such an amazing and realistic FL. And the comfort... It's one of those cozy dramas perfect for watching every once in a while. Even the repetitive songs hit differently.

Because This is My First Life (kdrama) (rewatch!) 9

FL loses her job and on top of that doesn’t have where to live. ML wants monthly rent to keep up with his mortgage. A wedding contract ensues.

This is probably my favorite marriage contract/fake relationship drama. Also, the softest FL and ML ever. Even with their awkwardness, Jung So Min (I loooooove her) and Lee Min Ki manage to grasp you. My only two cons are the ending and one of the secondary couples. The unnecessary, always present separation between FL and ML. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't. I feel like it might have made sense here, but at the same time it was one of the separations I hated most. Happy ending, though, so yay. I loved the girl with the bra problem and the sentimental boss, they were badass. But yeah, I hated the other secondary couple that broke up and made up over and over again. Extra notes: It was the first drama I saved music from lol.

Boys Over Flowers, 2009 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 7.5

Jan Di gets a scholarship at a rich kids' school and stands up to the F4, a group of popular guys who love to bully the shit out of everyone who they dim as bothersome.

I watched BoF when I was fourteen, and to be honest, I didn't remember much other than the fact that it wouldn't be one of those dramas I'd rewatch again. Well, let's ignore the fact that I'm here watching it again lol. I’m into 00s dramas lately, they’re kind of addictive so I had to re-check this one.

I didn’t remember Joon Pyo being so soft. I mean, still a menace to society, yes, but I think my mind got stuck with the first episodes and I low-key forgot that he actually falls for Jan Di way earlier in the drama and that he's just a caricaturized dumbass. And as for our FL, she could be a pain in the ass, but Jan Di could also be pretty fucking badass. Obviously the drama is way outdated, an adaptation from an even more outdated manga, and has a million red flags. Outside of that, I didn't think I'd be able to rewatch it. It gets extremely annoying at one point, but maybe the nostalgia won me over, and I low-key mostly enjoyed this. Extra notes: One of my favorite secondary couples/ Fuck Ji Hoo I never liked him lol.

Love in Contract, 2022 (kdrama) 8

FL works as a wife for hire. In between various clients, she’s had a consistent one for the past 5 years, a quiet and awkward man who she doesn’t know much about. Now, when she decides to retire, she has doubts about how to approach the end of their business relationship (fake marriage) with her longest and favorite husband/client.

I should stop reading drama reviews before watching them cause, unlike everyone else apparently, I enjoyed this drama a lot. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s far from being bad. The chemistry between Park Min Young and Go Kyung Pyo is everything. It also has an openly gay character who is possibly my new favorite character ever. It does drag at the end, but I don't think it diminishes the rating of the drama.

A Piece of Your Mind, 2020 (kdrama) 8.5

ML is trying to capture the personality of the woman he loves (but hasn’t seen in years) inside a device he invented. A classical music recording engineer ends up connecting with that same woman, and they both meet in— spoiler.

I admit I still haven’t finished this one but I’m really into it. Great story, great visuals, great OST. It’s a slow drama, but I feel like it’s meant to immerse you in its little melodrama world. It's both heartbreaking and comforting at the same time. Apparently, it has a low rating, and I can understand why it might be that way because it's a soft drama, but I absolutely adore it. Jung Hae In never disappoints. Also, Chae Soo Bin might be becoming one of my favorite Korean actresses.

Rich Man, Poor Woman, 2012 (jdrama) 8

Poor Woman is restlessly looking for a job and ends up working for the project of Rich Man’s company. Poor woman likes Rich Man. Rich Man is bratty and in serious need of social skills. However, fire chemistry ensues.

This drama was a surprise, for sure. The chemistry between the leads is amazing (old rom-com style), and the storyline itself, though sometimes focusing a little too much on the company and the partners-turned-rivals, is quite capturing. I did wish that it could concentrate a little more on the two leads and their romance since they were great together. I usually hate when dramas have their leads get together in the last episode (jdramas do this so much man) but here... well, I hated it, but it's okay cause they were cute af. (Also there’s a follow up movie apparently).

Haven't finished yet and don't know if I will ⬇️

Amidst a Snowstorm of Love, 2024 (cdrama) 8

ML falls in love at first sight with a girl in Finland. She plays billiard which is coincidentally the sport he gave up.

I have a lot of mixed feelings here because, yes, this is extremely romantic, which is what I always look for. The chemistry absolutely takes the cake, and the actors deal with it incredibly well. But... For me, love at first sight lacks substance. I rarely like it, and here, it felt like she liked him because he was good-looking and attentive (sometimes a bit too much... like back off, she's not a kid), and he liked her because... he just did. She obviously had great qualities but, yeah, I don’t know. I need a little friction to enjoy a good romantic drama. Also, it's not important, but I don't like billiards, so a lot of this was a bit boring for me. The writing felt also a bit off.

I might finish it because the characters and setting are interesting enough. Romance is cute and seems promising as well.

My Boss, 2024 (cdrama) 7

An inexperienced lawyer ends up sharing a flat with her boss after they accidentally rent the same place. Both are complete opposites.

This is actually from January, but I tried seeing if I'd be able to finish it now and still no. Back then I was looking forward to this one cause it seemed like a cute silly rom-com, but it might have been a little bit too much on the silly. The actors are okay, their chemistry is fine. I guess what really made me drop it was the writing. Which was not good... at all.

[torchickentacos]

15 Questions!

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit !!!!! Thank you so much for the tag, and I loved reading yours! Long post, sorry lol.

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! Not to my knowledge, anyways. Though if my mom told me that she named me after Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters, I would not be shocked.

2. When was the last time you cried? I think monday? I cry really often, at every single emotion. Happy? I'm going to cry about it. Laughing? My high school theatre class would always point out when they made me cry laugh. Sad? ABSOLUTELY crying about that. I didn't cry but I DID tear up yesterday because I was really happy about something nice someone said to me.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and no intention of having them. Regardless of my desire to or not (usually not, being the oldest of four is enough for me), my health is not, and never will be, in an acceptable position or ability to go through that, and I've accepted that for a while now.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? As a kid, I played soccer and did gymnastics! In middle school, I BRIEFLY did fencing. My mom told me that when I was fencing is the only time she's ever seen me look truly graceful (lmao, love my mom dw. She's right). Then health stuff came up and I had to stop, but fencing just came as easily to me as breathing did. I always wonder where I'd be if I could have stuck with it. Nothing's ever immediately clicked with me the way fencing did, but it's hell on my joints.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, usually when I'm annoyed which isn't TOO often. Or if I'm being hyperbolic for a joke.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? No clue. I guess their demeanor- if they seem happy or not, if they look stressed, how they're feeling (or how I perceive them as feeling, I guess).

7. What's your eye color? Blue! My friend swears up and down that they're kind of green. I think she's colorblind.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!!! I am not built for scary movies. I can do some buzzfeed unsolved and I can watch markiplier play indie horror games but that's kind of my limit. I LOVE some types of horror, but my anxiety does not. I will be paranoid for a month after.

9. Any talents? I can play music by ear. Give me a guitar and a random song and ten minutes at most!

10. Where were you born?

11. What are your hobbies? Landscape/scenery art (also other art but it's much harder), writing, playing guitar (used to play piano too but not well. I also own a ukulele that I'm bad at, but generally I can play something on any instrument you give me). But mostly, I pick up and put down hobbies all the time. I've dabbled in crochet, embroidery, sewing, painting, archery, coding, needle felting, gardening, cooking, a little bit of everything. Never long enough to get good at most of them, though. I get bored too quickly.

12. Do you have any pets? A lovely husky (shelter girlie <3) and a gecko! And, for the gecko, a bunch of crickets at any given point in time, which I guess counts because I have to take care of them, too.

13. How tall are you? 5'2 and a half. 5'4 with my doc martens.

14. Favorite subject in school? Assuming lunch doesn't count, I was a theatre girlie. Assuming THAT doesn't count, English. I liked English because if I didn't have an answer, I could just bullshit one, but I usually did enjoy it and had real answers. I'll tell you why the curtains are blue and why they're the specific fabric they are and what the rest of the room means- if I'm interested, anyways.

15. Dream job? Oh boy, uh. Still trying to figure that out. DREAM job, like, without worrying about money or my physical ability to do it? Pro fencer, but I gave up on that a looong time ago. I genuinely believe I could have done it if my knee hadn't gone to shit at fourteen. I'd love to work in a record store or a music store, though, which is a little more in-reach.

Tagging: Anyone who sees this, lmk if you do it from this post!! But also, NO PRESSURE AT ALL but @soulsilversprings @nowandevermore @lostlegendaerie @mozukumi !!! Also whoever else wants to, I get nervous to tag people so assume you're tagged, too!

[myopicry]

Ty again for responding to my question! This ask is less of a question and more of a mini ramble/vent of my own, idk if you'll find this interesting, pls don't feel obliged to answer this, if not I'll be back with more interesting stuff sooner or later. (disclaimer: im unsure of what terminology to use when) I don't consider myself as a radfem or GC, but in my past month or so of consistent lurking i'd say i've adopted some of the perspectives and opinions, whilst still being supportive of trans ppl and wanting feminism to result in equality between the sexes (i personally believe that this equality and the liberation of women aren't mutually exclusive but that's a different can of worms, also not saying that radfems and GCs can't also be those things). So it kind of shocks me when I at times return to more trans positive/inclusive (?) spaces and see how they talk about TERFs or just radfems in general. I'm skipping the part about how I don't see their arguments in the same light anymore, and more focusing on how they talk about those groups (while most of the time seemingly not having properly looked into them). Like, I have my fair share of criticisms for those 2 communities as an outsider looking in, but they're a lot more constructive and not as "automatic, knee-jerk reaction"-ish than what I've seen from TRAs(?). Furthermore, although I don't think radfems and GCs are necessarily always the nicest to trans ppl or even other qu**r groups, I've seen them being willing to engage in civil debates, clarifying that they don't wish harm on the opposite side/expressing some sympathy to at least a part of the opposite side, denouncing the issues within their own communities, encouraging each other to participate in more "tangible" activism (ex: volunteering at women's shelters), etc more commonly and on a more regular basis than TRAs (?) (not sure what terminology to use lol sorry).

What's even more surprising is that I feel like I can have a civil conversation with most, if not all, of my trans friends without it absolutely obliterating our friendship and mutual respect for each other and even ending up agreeing on some things, so it's odd to see such hostility towards even just *engaging with an opposing belief* and *asking more direct questions* online. Maybe it's more prevalent there than irl? Anyway, if you read this entire thing, thanks and I hope you found it entertaining at the very least x) 'till next time! ~🪼

hey I would be a hypocrite to not enjoy listening to other people ramble considering how much of it I do myself lmao

but also, I genuinely really enjoyed reading this! I totally agree with the sentiment. I did find it super interesting myself in my lurking journeys when the characterization of "terfs" was always built around word of mouth information, the worst faith interpretations of any radfem point, and constant reiteration of how they're irredeemable traditionalists who were completely not worth listening to and directly supporting hategroups (which. is pretty hyperbolic especially if you're addressing radblr lmao).

where as radfems always characterized "tras" directly with screenshots, literally listening to them and displaying them as they are. and yeah, even in radfem spaces where there can be varying disagreements, there is still some level of discussion or debate where you can trace back the discourse and see why they disagree. then, in contrast, when I lurk through broader lgbtq discourse,it's always full of calling people whatever-phobic and just never trying to understand the actual reasons behind any arguments. or it's people over-intellectualizing to the point of nonsense, then still turning around and straw-manning their opponent regardless.

and honestly, it probably is an online thing. the demographic of people online in these communities are just getting younger and everyone is getting more personal too. your identity and digital reputation are now "at stake" in the spaces you frequent, and all your friendships have become your "mutuals" who are an extension of your online personhood and credibility, so you MUST curate your space and your relationships to be unproblematic and aligned with popular opinion as to not be ostracized from these spaces and make yourself look bad.

In real life, people strive to care less what others think of them, and thus can entertain disagreement and nuance while not feeling threatened. online, people are quite literally incentivized to care what others think of them because what's the point of going online otherwise (yknow, if you disregard learning more about different perspectives and using the breadth of the world wide web to learn new things and deepen your understanding). ok, before I start ranting like a boomer comic strip on the "evils of social media" and how the youth are using the internet badly, I'll cut myself off :p

really really well written insights though anon! literally it is always a great time for me when I log on to this website and see you hanging out in the inbox! thank you, and I hope to see you soon !! ヾ(＾∇＾)

[genericpuff]

…Here is something a bit more serious I wanted to ask…

How do feel when it comes the fact that plenty of sexual themes inside LO are being told incorrectly to a young audience (I keep hearing on how most of Webtoon readers are still around 12-16 year old girls)?

Specially with the fact that Rachel keeps on sexualizing Persephone after some scenes showcasing her trauma….

I hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries here…thanks again for listening.

You're not overstepping at all ! This is actually a topic I've gone off about in the past at length on reddit and in chatrooms like Discord so I'm always happy to divulge about it and talk about it. It's a problem that goes way bigger than LO but I'll try my best to keep it focused on LO for the sake of getting to the point.

Before I get into it, obligatory TRIGGER WARNING for discussion surrounding sexual trauma/abuse/etc. and how it's romanticized and marketed in Webtoons media.

There are so many comics in Webtoons library that are just skeevy beyond belief for the stories they're trying to tell. Whether it's gratuitous oversexualization of its characters to the point of being absurd, to the implications of the romances in these stories that often border on non-consensual/toxic, Webtoons seems to be using these types of things as its main draw in a lot of their "big money" series - or at least, the ones they tend to market the most.

Now don't get me wrong, I've got a strong stomach for weird/creepy/dark shit and I'm capable of having suspension of disbelief when reading stories like this. I'm an SA survivor myself but despite this, I'm no stranger to dark romance or stories that 'toe the line' or even overstep it completely between morally acceptable and morally apprehensible, a lot of these kinds of stories have actually helped me overcome and heal from what I've been through. Suspension of disbelief is important and this is, after all, fiction, where we as creators are able to explore taboo or 'forbidden' topics in ways that either interest us or empower us or just feel like fun to write.

But there's still a line to be drawn because I'm an adult person who has literary analysis skills and is capable of picking apart these stories and what they might be consciously - or subconsciously - teaching us or portraying. Kids and teens? They basically are what they eat. This isn't to say teenagers are stupid or anything of the sort, but I was a kid too once and I know I internalized a lot of media that I straight up shouldn't have been consuming at the time. And I do think a lot of webtoons on the WT platform specifically dangerously veer into that territory all for the purpose of money and clout.

Again, don't get me wrong, I love morally questionable or otherwise abrasive characters, I think they're fun to write and fiction is a great way to explore those kinds of dynamics (and I've had pals weirdly thank me for how much suffering I put my characters through LMAO). But I'm also not gonna sit here and bullshit people into thinking my main projects are meant for teens. They're not. My main protagonists are in a shitty toxic relationship that should not be romanticized. My main character is a hyperbolic self-insert reflection of how awful I used to be as a person and how I was at the center of all my own problems for years. You should be 18 at minimum if you want to read my work because the stuff I write about isn't appropriate for or wouldn't be able to be observed and accepted as just fiction the way most mature adults can.

Now I'm not saying my work is "deep" or anything like that, it's stupid fun weeb shit. But it's the kind of stupid fun weeb shit I wouldn't want a teenager internalizing or taking to heart. It's why I'll include plenty of disclaimers to remind people that my stuff is a work of fiction and I simply enjoy exploring these kinds of tropes and dynamics through my characters, but I do not condone their behavior or the things I represent in my work. I fully respect other creators and writers who do the same.

Rachel is not one of those people. Rachel doesn't do this. She tries to claim to be progressive while completely misrepresenting the things she writes. She doesn't actually care about these topics, she just wants you to think she cares about them. Don't get me wrong, there are other series on the platform that are absolutely problematic when it comes to this sort of thing (Webtoons looooves marketing them, blech) but Lore Olympus is the absolute pinnacle of irresponsible, the sum of everything that's wrong with Webtoons.

It gets constant special treatment - often times being put in the banner reel every time it updates and in the prime spots no less that are rarely ever given to other - far more thought-provoking and well-written - series that could really use the ad space.

It markets itself to kids and teens despite having subject matter that either isn't handled responsibly OR should be taken with a level of suspension of disbelief that a lot of teens/kids aren't capable of having.

And the subject matter that it does try to handle responsibly is flubbed entirely because they're leaving it up to the writing 'skills' of a privileged white woman from New Zealand who's either never lived these experiences or, those that she has, couldn't even write them into a narrative when she tries because she still exists with internalized biases that completely miss the mark because she's never tried to look at things with a viewpoint outside of her own.

She's just not a writer, full stop. But because it's Webtoon's golden goose, they market the shit out of it anyways and give it preferential treatment. And of course, they market it to kids and teens because it's cute and colorful, and kids and teens will be more likely to overlook its blatant problems because they don't have the literary analysis skills yet to identify them.

The other side of the coin they market to? The adults who don't think these problems are problems to begin with. These are the same adults who celebrated 50 Shades of Grey and After as if they're masterworks of fiction. Overall very shitty, problematic people. At least the teenagers have the potential to "grow out of it". The adults who defend Rachel like their life depends on it are grown up but not mature or empathetic in the slightest towards those who have found their own stories and experiences trivialized or otherwise misrepresented completely through LO.

I know, that's undoubtedly a lot of hot takes, but this is such a massive problem in romance stories today. I get it, it's "drama", and it's been around since the harlequin novels of old, but the way it's pushed and romanticized and presented as if it's somehow "couple goals" by the people - often women - who write them is getting to be exhausting.

At this point I put Rachel Smythe right up there with Anna Todd and EL James - ego-driven female "writers" who wrote shitty fanfiction that got a lot of views and happened to fail upwards in their success, but when you dig past the subscriber count numbers and the clout, they themselves are not that profound or well-read in any meaning of the word. They're just people with huge deeply-rooted issues who write problematic romances instead of going to therapy.

And that's all I'm gonna say on that.

[pondslime]

Jack and David for the Headcanons PLEASSEEEE

oh u have UNLOCKED the evil demented pandora's box of my brain. I'm about to be FULLY annoying. TYSM

below are 3 pros and cons of dating my Favorite Boys Ever™

sidenote: if we're talking canon CANON, the fact that both of them are VERY dead is the MAIN and only VALID con. IMO. but I digress!!! for the sake of this list, they are very alive and very smoochable

(under the cut bc DAMN can a bitch talk. and I do not want u all to have to scroll thru a WALL of text of me bein humina humina awooooooga abt my current hyperfixation 💀 ur welcome)

anyways!! this was incredibly fun and I have tmrrw off!! so feel free to send me a character of ur choice for headcanons and I'll give u 3 pros and 3 cons of dating them. if ur so inclined!!!!

jack

3 PROS

man is goofy. GOOFY. he is so intensely unserious. the banter (both flirty or otherise) will be IMMACULATE.

SOLID movie buddy energy. since he's the first one to bring up lon chaney jr./the pentangle on the wall, I like to think he's a hammer horror movie enthusiast. and since we know that the two of them have been friends at least since the 8th grade, I find the idea of these two little dorks staying up late and catching reruns of the movies...........SO cute. so v v cute. jack's little 12-year-old ass insisting that they CAN'T MISS frankenstein meets the wolfman. no, david!! u can't go tf to sleep!! we need the LORE!!!! so anyway. he'd show u a bunch of old horror movies and point out all the weird lil details to u. get ready 2 be mst3k-ing every film. man has cable tv and chill written ALL over him.

knows his way around nyc and WILL take u to a funky lil hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves the best sandwich u have ever had. he might forget his wallet @ his apartment and end up paying for it w/loose change he has stuffed in his jacket pockets, but goddamn was that hot pastrami incredible.

3 CONS

he's 5'7'' (this is also a pro)

a little bit of a whiny bitch. will make a mountain out of a molehill. thrives on melodrama and hyperbole. but he's right 90% of the time, so as annoying as it might be. u can't fault him too much for that

used to being the comic relief friend. chronically friendzoned. probably going 2 be a bit annoying about that. it's kinda difficult to get him to snap out of sarcastic showboat-mode. sometimes that can make him seem a bit ingenuine and detached. mild to severe performance anxiety vibes. once u crest over that. he'll trade any nervousness for comical overconfidence and it'll be off to the races. but in the interim................................lmao

david

3 PROS

SWEET himbo boy. v affectionate and complimentary dude. clear w/his intentions and fairly emotionally open. v much so gives the vibes of a guy who claims to want to have 74873848 flings before settling down........but will immediately fall head-over-heels and want to introduce u to his family. golden retriever boy

canonically!! gives good head. need I say more

has a sense of adventure. likes challenging himself and breaking up the routine. outdoorsy. he probably likes hiking. did track or soccer or smthn in high school. his sheer enthusiasm for GOING OUTSIDE will force u to get ur ass off the damn couch. u love to see it.

3 CONS

v much BIG "first person to die in a traditional horror movie"-vibes. not the best at reading situations. will bamboozle himself into a bad scenario purely bc his street-smarts are sometimes lacking. kinda clueless. it's v hot but also v dumb of him. u would think that growing up in nyc would've tempered some of that. occasionally it does. occasionally. not enough tho.

possible mama's boy/golden child. even if this is NOT true, he still lives at home. which means there WILL be tomfoolery afoot if u stay over @ that house. and VERY little privacy!! get ready for his younger siblings to find the most inconvenient ways to interrupt ur time together. ur patience and mental fortitude will be tested. u will be living in a crash course parent trap/home alone-simulator. have fun!!

u know when u were a kid and ur mom would see someone she knew @ the grocery store and talk w/them for an eternity. and u would just be standing there and waiting for her to END her conversation so that u could LEAVE. yeah. david gives me big "endless conversations in grocery store"-energy. u run into a bodega @ 9 PM to grab some chips and soda w/him. but this is his stomping ground and he somehow manages to run into 3797432989 different ppl who know AND adore him. and they've all got to ask him about how school is going. what's he majoring in again? how's the family? do u still know blah blah blah from blah blah blah? and ur just standin there sipping ur coke. which is rapidly becoming more and more room temperature w/every sip. when will it end. he's been talking about his sixth grade biology class for the last ten minutes

BONUS AND MOST OBVIOUS PROS FOR BOTH OF 'EM:

fluffy hair (x2)

there's two of them. u can and SHOULD date both of them simultaneously. IDEAL throuple situation.