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#this is in such poor taste what was she thinking
umbrellacam · 3 days
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Dick performing death fake-outs on Tim: heheh, a harmless little prank :)) too easy, boy basketcase
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Robin (1993) #67 - Tim: "Nightwing! Can you hear me, Dick? Please be alive. No." Dick: "Up here. You should see your face. You really looked worried." Tim: "Jerk." Nightwing (1996) #69 - Tim: "Can you hear me, Nightwing? Can you hear me?" Alfred: "Perhaps we should search for him?" Tim: "Where? There are hundreds of miles of caves. With the rock interfering I can't get a fix on him. He shouldn't have gone alone. He could be trapped or drowned or just lost or... Nightwing! Answer me!" Dick: "Right here, boy basketcase."
Tim: >:( not funny, how would you like it if I did something like that to y--
Dick, having Tim death fake-outs performed on him: TIMMMMM NOOOOO 。゚(゚T´Д`゚T)
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Azrael (Vol. 1) #16 // Robin (1993) #67 - Dick: "Hey...Where is Robin? Don't tell me--" Alfred: "Yes. You're too late." Dick: "But the research lab at Gotham med has come up with a cure and they're distributing it right now. And you're telling me it's too late to--" Alfred: "Too late to do Master Timothy the slightest bit of good." Bruce: "That was in poor taste, Alfred." Dick: "TIM!" Tim: "Cheap shot, Alfie." Alfred: "How often does one get the opportunity?" Dick: "My heart's beating like ninety miles per." Joker's Last Laugh #6 - Dick: "[Robin] is dead? How...how do we know?" Babs: "The Huntress. She arrived at Arkham after him." Dick: "What was he doing at Arkham alone?" [Dick beating the shit out of Joker] Tim: "He's had enough, Nightwing." Dick: "Robin?" Tim: "It's me." Dick: "No... You're dead. It's a trick. An illusion. Another sick joke!" Tim: "It's me, Nightwing! Stop this!" Nightwing (1996) #97 - Dick: "ROBIN!!! Timmy, please..."
Tim: .......okay I swear I didn't do any of those on purpose. That one with the Clench was all Alfred.
Dick, wiping at his eyes: h-haha, funny joke
Tim: sorry u_u
Tim: but since, y'know. you're aware of how not-funny it is, do you think you could maybe stop--
Dick: you first
Tim:
Dick:
~*~*FLASHPOINT UNIVERSE REBOOT~*~*
Dick: (pressured into faking his death to go undercover at Spyral)
Tim: (inadvertently fakes his death by a thousand drone missiles)
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Nightwing (2011) #30 - Bruce: "Everyone thinks you're dead. I need you to stay dead." Detective Comics #940 - [Tim is by all appearances killed in a hail of drone fire.]
Dick & Tim, after getting their preboot memories back: oh, god dammit
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This is also me shamelessly submitting another request alongside my very NSFW one: could we get Raphael being there while Tav gives birth?
Tav paced back and forth, hands resting on her swollen belly. Each time a contraction tore through her she would grimace, bend forward as much as possible, and bear it with whatever dignity she scrounged up. When the pain passed, she’d resume pacing.
“Mistress,” said the Infernal physician, “perhaps you should lay down -”
“No,” barked Tav. “I don’t want to lay down.”
“So you intend to wear a trench into my floors instead?” Drawled Raphael.
“Yes,” replied Tav, glaring daggers at him.
“Mistress,” the physician tried again, “it would be easier for both you and the child if you -”
“I’m not bloody laying down,” growled Tav. “I’ve been laying down for the last three months of pregnancy. I need to move around or I’m going to cut this baby out of my stomach myself.”
“You won’t change her mind,” Raphael said lightly, “she’s a stubborn creature. She’ll do things her way until she simply cannot any longer.”
The physician sighed, rubbing her eyes.
Tav’s waters had broken several hours ago – much to poor Haarlep’s horror. Raphael was away on business at the time, but as soon as word reached him that his first offspring was about to be born, he’d burst back into the house, physician in tow. The birthing room had been ready for a few days, Tav slightly exceeding her due date, so the three had sequestered inside. Now it was simply a waiting game. The physician hovered nearby. Raphael sat in a plush, comfy chair, seeming to all the world as indifferent and relaxed as usual. Only the occasional twitch of his tail gave away his potential anxiety.
It felt like the entire House of Hope, even every wailing soul within the walls, were holding their breaths. Teetering on the edge of anticipation for the ushering in of a new era: the birth of a prince.
“Ah…!” Tav stopped in her tracks. Hissed as fresh, furious pain wracked her. Different, sharper than before. It didn’t fade. “I think…argh, I think he’s coming…!”
The physician touched Tav’s belly, felt lower, between her thighs. “Yes. You’re open enough. I feel his head. You need to get into the water.”
The physician helped Tav out of her sweat-soaked nightdress and in to the bathing pool of hot water. Raphael watched intently, his onyx and ember eyes never blinking, as Tav – teeth gritted – eased herself into a sitting position, knees up and apart. The water and its soothing magic helped, but the baby wanted out, now. Demanding, just like his father, and damn was she feeling it.
“Gods…he finally decides he’s ready and he’s just going to…to rip right through me…” Tav panted. Curled her fists. Cried out as a violent contraction signalled the end, and the beginning.
“Start pushing,” instructed the physician. Tav groaned, a sound that morphed into a dull scream. Raphael stood up, crossed the room, standing close. His tail thrashed wildly but his expression remained neutral. Tav gave him a foul, pained look.
“This is your fault,” she snarled, slapping her palms on the sides of the bath. “I’ll kill you for this, I swear it.”
“Of course you will, darling,” purred Raphael.
He was not indifferent to her suffering, she knew. Part of him enjoyed it. That she was agonising to bring their – his – son into life only made her pain taste sweeter. It was the simple truth of Raphael’s nature. Something Tav had accepted long ago. Birthing this baby was the scariest thing she’d ever done, scarier than coming to terms with how she felt for a diabolical devil, that she was willing to give him her soul and her heart. Even facing down the Netherbrain didn’t compare. She was hurting and she was frightened, but Raphael was there, strong and assured and steady, and Tav knew she could get through it.
Not without one Hell of a fuss, however.
“GET THIS DAMN THING OUT OF ME!” She bellowed between screams.
“Keep pushing!” Yelled the physician.
“What do you think I’m doing?!” Tav roared back.
“Push, Tav,” Raphael intoned. Commanded. “Let our son’s life begin.”
Eventually, amidst the blood and pain and chaos, it did. A wrinkled, wet and wailing infant was placed on Tav’s chest and she, exhausted and delirious, loved him instantly and irrevocably.
“Healthy,” declared the physician, “and strong. Very strong.”
Tav tiredly adjusted her baby, who latched onto her nipple and began to suckle. His thin, ropey little tail curled. Raphael looked down at them, smug and preening with pride. He would never be the type to offer her his hand to squeeze for comfort, or become overly emotional and adoring of his new son, but he was there. He stayed. And those things mattered more to Tav than her pride would ever let her admit.
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femmetay · 6 months
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my favorite singer renaming the 5 stages of grief to 5 stages of heartbreak and using them as a marketing technique and making money off the streaming playlists one month after my 25 year old cousin passed from leukemia was not a thing I thought I’d ever have to be bothered by. you don’t get to tell me about sad blah blah blah well you don’t get to tell me about grief.
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FNAF Michael refuses to be gaslit on “THE BITE OF 83”
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tenwhiteandalusians · 2 months
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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creepyscritches · 6 months
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My mom is going on a cruise w her bestie to a lot of European countries she's not seen yet (hasn't been to/lived in Europe or Africa since shortly before I was born). She asked me what gift I'd like and tbh I just really loooooove spices and flavors I dont have the opportunity to discover/try here, but like 🤔 not sure if customs would bar her from bringing spices home. Maybe a cool rock or smth instead as I seem to be collecting small stone animals when I travel lately
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maranull · 4 months
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CAN I NOT GET A FUCKING HEART ATTACK FOR ONE HOUR
FFS
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the little mermaid but it's kanera
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californiaquail · 3 months
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the local mother in law was talking about "all the football players who got fake vaccine cards because they knew about it causing myocarditis" and i was sitting next to her having straight up lost count of how many covid vaccines i've gotten without developing myocarditis (obviously) like
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you know what does cause myocarditis? covid.
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kaelooloo · 10 months
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this whole chapter and conversation were so necessary.. i can feel everything molly feels this chapter its like too real
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k1ngj0ve · 2 years
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in regards to the picky eater test: i actually feel in my heart like i eat lots of foods but the reality is that the foods i wont/dont/rarely eat are put in EVERY recipe it seems like. so for example generally i dont like cheese in most situations and every fucking recipe is gooey cheese. i dont like pork so any pork meal it out, i dont like beef 99% of the time so most of those go out, i dont like chicken if its wet so all that goes out too
i like... ingredients.... ill eat a block of sharp cheddar but i dont want it IN anything. ill eat a can of fruit but dont fucking put it in a pie because i cant stand hot fruit.
foods that i think werent on the list that i fucking hate: fucking octopus and clams and scallops.
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comradecowplant · 2 months
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something something white trans woman streamer who claimed to be a marxist now unironically stanning kamala harris something something white queers with victim complexes desperate for our struggles to be the center of the universe above all else something something...........................................................
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sadrockandwaltzes · 3 months
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Just me making (sort of unfair) digs at Jim Gordon's love life from 16 episodes into Gotham (Sorry Jim☹️) So spoilers up till that point😅
Jim really isn't made for this whole relationship biz huh😅
He's too brave for Barbara and not brave enough for Lee
He wants to work 23/7 whenever he gets a call but also have someone who will be there to spend time with him that last hour of the day, but not waiting desperately for him so that he's not nagged. He doesn't feel comfortable doing his work with them around, and basically seems to enjoy the single life more than anything...
So either stay single, long distance date, or date Bullock, since he's already used to working with him (except something tells me he'd get uncomfortable with him on police calls too if they got together, proving that dating coworkers is a dangerous thing...)
Well the last paragraph's mostly a joke but I assume since Barbara and him are end game that she'll stay out of his police work and cool down emotionally, and he'll stop looking for someone braver and be happy with a girlfriend who's totally uninvolved in his life. WHICH- what does Barbara do??? She's rich enough to afford the penthouse suite?? But we've NEVER seen her work, and her fam seems to not ever want to see her. Do they send a check in the mail once a month??
Oh and unrelated but I met the Joker!! Kinda like him ngl. Time will tell if that stands...
#Gah Thompson is so freaking cool#I love her so much#like usually shows give the cool mc bland/uninteresting/unlikable love interests which is why people get so into slash ships#but I actually really like both of his! And when they're doing well with him I'm psyched#but I do wonder if either of these couples is good for each other#I hear that a lot of peeps ship him and Harvey so I guess I'll have to see on that... So far for s1 I can't t really imagine it on Jim's en#I can imagine Harvey liking him (cause he's so cool!!) but so far he just seems in awe and puzzlement/bewilderment of him#I hope we get to see lots and lots more of Lee and that she finds someone who's a good match#cause she definitely enjoys being in relationships but she's around such squares😫#“you're an unusual woman” “you just don't know many women” <- SO TRUE#Jim has good taste in love interests but he always crushes out of his depth#Rip Barbara's heart near the end... It's for the best I think. She's not in a good place for them to get back together just yet#she needs friends and a support system outside of squatting kids and her (formerly?) toxic and obsessed ex#and to get back her personal mojo and self confidence#I'm rooting for you!!#also- love how Penguin made his club umbrella themed to really own up to his humble roots as an umbrella carrier XD#he's so endearing#Well the club thing's going pretty bad rn so I guess it's best for him that Jim didn't show...#poor guy's out here looking ready to cry :/#Send a new invite when things are really swinging#And I totally forgot to mention but I like this Szaz guy and his stylish crew#Glad to see Butch is alive... But WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM#Mooney and Butch are such an awesome duo#love how she's kicking @ss as per usual despite the unfortunate circumstances she's found herself in#very random but I never noticed how freckley Ozzie's face was until this ep... I don't know if it's the lighting or him going red with ange#but yeah#Why is he so red this episode?#Gotham#spoilers#jim gordon
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tonycries · 2 months
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R U Mine?
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Synopsis. Does he really count as an éx if he’s fúcking you this good?
Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, éxes, mating press, they’re REALLY down bad, jealousy (Nanami’s, Sukuna’s), bréeding, marathon séx, recording (Sukuna’s), creampíe, cúmplay, pússytalking, possessíve boys, oraI (fem receiving), thígh ríding, fíngering, proposals, HEINOUS things, pet names, swearing.
Word count. 5.2k
A/N. I love men groveling hehe. Hope y’all have a great week!
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♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - 1 week
Oh, it’s around the fourth orgasm when Toji can’t think - can’t even breathe.
Can’t do anything but spit out little profanities into your swollen lips while he rams his messy cock deeper into your sloppy entrance. Body moving before his mind to savor the sweet sweet cunt that’s been plaguing his mind all week.
Again. And again. And again and again and-
“A week.” you hear that familiar mantra from behind you, whirling your teary eyes to stare over your shoulder at your utterly wrecked ex-husband. Gaze glassy, cheeks flushed, lips sagging open as he pants, “A whole week, n’ you’re sure she didn’t m-miss me, doll? Didn’t crave me fillin’ her up?” 
And Toji takes your pitiful little whine as enough of an answer, reaching down below to thumb apart your folds greedily - all puffy and sensitive where he swipes at the seed trickling down your poor, overfilled slit. “Or do I just hafta prove it to ya?”
So mean with the way he’s shoving each and every thick spurt of his cum back inside your gummy walls. Sloppier. Languid, as the exhaustion sets in - and honestly, Toji doesn’t even know if he can cum again despite the long, calculated strokes into your snug cunt. 
But he has to, even if it fucking kills him. 
Moaning messily, your knees weaken at his renewed vigor, “T-Toji I-” Laying your body limply over the lewd little pool of cum below you, you claw at the damp sheets. “D-didn’t-”
But he doesn’t hear - doesn’t even care when he brings up his shaky fingers -  glossy, and covered in the mess of your juices and his cum - up to your swollen lips. 
“Ah ah-” he tuts, pushing the pads of his thick fingers between them amusedly. Dick swelling up further inside you at the way that smart mouth of yours sucks on the salty taste like such a slut. “These mm- sheets were expensive since ya ngh- threw out all mine, y’know. C’mere, come to your husband.”
And in a split second, two, strong hands are pulling you back up by your forearms. Arching your body back like such a slut, bending you in half against Toji’s sculpted front. And fuck this new angle makes you keen. 
He’s pressing a chaste kiss into your quivering shoulders, “Or- we could just mm fuck- share the same ones again?”
That only makes your hips fuck back against his, messily trying to meet his ruthless tempo - one that has you depending on Toji holding you up like some ragdoll. One that has him pistoning his hips faster, more purposeful, so infuriatingly familiar with the way he glides his aching tip along your ravaged g-spot. 
“Y-you’re too much-” you meet his amused, half-lidded gaze. Letting him lick and kiss at the big fat tears rolling down your cheeks, grazing your lips against that tiny scar of his. “Should’ve ngh- never-”
“No.” a groan bursts from his lips. Fingers tightening - sure leave marks around your arms, using the gravity to bounce your body deeper into his cock. “No no no no- was a- fuuuck stop squeezin’ me s’tight- was a joke, doll. Already waited a week, don’t go takin’ this ah- pussy away from me again.” 
For all his cockiness, Toji sounded worried - so genuinely concerned as he drags his sensitive length along your plushy walls. Tears pricking behind his eyes with each painful squeeze of his twitching balls, smacking your skin with each rough, depraved thrust inside
Scoffing, “Wh-what if I mmpf- do?”
And he’s slamming his hips into you so mean that you could almost feel the overabundance of cum sloshing inside you, claiming you from the inside out. Hips sloppy in a way that told he’s lost whatever sanity he had left.
“Said m’sorry, right? C’mooon-” Dancing an open palm up to press down on your lower stomach, hard. Letting Toji’s cum ooze down his length, pooling at his heavy balls. “She missed me too- look how much she’s ngh- takin’. How much more she wants.”
Toji’s free hand comes up to squish your cheeks together in an embarrassing pout, forcing your head down just enough to look at the heavenly sight below. And what you’re met with has you mewling out his name embarrassingly louder. 
Your poor pussy stuffed to the brim, just bulging with the struggle to take your ex-husband. 
But still trying so needily to milk him as much as possible, clenching and quivering every time his fat head kisses all your sensitive spots. 
And despite all that, you still stupidly lie, “Didn’t- didn’t miss you.”
It’s like he expected that - was waiting for it even, as an excuse to go harder.
“Well then…” a slow, dangerous smirk spreads across Toji’s features - one that definitely didn’t bode well for you. He presses a hot peck against your wobbly lips, cock twitching knowingly against your g-spot. “Guess I’ve gotta f-fill her up again to prove it.”
♡ NANAMI KENTO - 3 weeks
“Look at me.” you hear from above you, two long fingers gently tilting your head up to meet Nanami’s hardened gaze. “Look at who’s fucking you, my love.”
You squirm, thighs trying to clamp around where he was positioned between them. “K-Ken–”
“Yeah, that’s it.” Nanami hushes you gently - the exact opposite of those languid, heavy grinds of his aching cock into your already-stuffed cunt. Shoving you further and further up those silky sheets of his with each smack of his hips, “S’me. I hah- I got you, darling. Finally, I got you.”
It’s been a whole three weeks without your pretty touch, without those sweet sweet moans spilling from your lips. Without you - sprawled out all prettily like this on Nanami’s king-sized bed, being fucked into the mattress by him like you deserve. 
And he’ll be sure to make up for those three weeks.
Nanami pushes away the bouquet of roses he’d gotten you earlier today, throwing your legs over his sculpted shoulders to bend you into such a mean mating press. 
He’s murmuring against the underside of your jaw, “I missed you, my love. Missed my cute cunt.”  Rolling his hips deeper into yours, fat head kissing at your poor g-spot with each little movement. Nosing down the sweet spots on your pulse, “Missed those sweet noises for me. Missed-” Biting down on the crook of your neck, hard. Enough to break skin if Nanami really wanted to. “-this. This one’s for that douche at the club.”
You’re gasping at those neat little indents on your skin, fingers twitching upwards to feel the deep, purposeful mark. Never has Nanami acted this feral. Never has he left embarrassing marks to admire for later. 
“Ken- what-” you whine - but you don’t get very far with that dazed little sentence. 
No, because Nanami’s dragging his lips so searingly across the print, hips stuttering forwards while he kisses away the dredges of pain. Only to turn his head to the other side of your neck and give you a sinful, matching mark on the other side. 
Murmuring into your skin, “That one’s for the hah- cashier that looked at you wrong. N’ this one’s-” Pretty lips sucking a tiny mark right above, “-for the security guard that was too nice to ya.”
Fuck.
No sooner are you actually realizing what is happening, Nanami’s pulling out with a pained grunt - like it killed him to be apart. Even if it was just for all of the two seconds it took for him to flip you onto your stomach like some ragdoll, strong arms supporting your weight. 
And if you were in any better state of mind you’d have questions. Literally anything but those fucked-out little moans he was dragging out of you, rock-hard cock molding your walls to him with each mean, possessive stroke. 
“This one-” Nanami kisses up your curved spine, biceps bulging as he wraps them around your middle. Biting down on the small of your back, “-s’for Higurama a-asking for your ngh- number.” Onto your shoulder, tough. Meaner than the rest, in fact, “N’ this one’s for Gojo.”
Fuck, and he won’t stop - can’t. Leaving you utterly wrecked like you’d been thrown to the wolves. But no, it’s just Nanami Kento.
“Nghh- Ken.” you blabber when he doesn’t ease up on colliding his thick tip against your g-spot. And as if that wasn’t enough, he’s snaking down a hand to draw tight, urgent little circles on your clit. “But m’yours! N-no need to be so…”
A low chuckle sounds in your ear, “What, my love?” And Nanami pistons his hips even harder, bouncing you onto the fresh mattress. “Mean? Jealous? Possessive?” 
Each little description is rattled off with a harsh pattern on your clit, sending white-hot pleasure down your poor, marked-up body - all the way down to your stuffed pussy. Bulging and stuttering with each harsh thrust.
You turn your head around to meet an uncharacteristically disheveled Nanami, familiar blue button-up pulled open, stray strands of blond sticking to his forehead, that furrow in his brow softening at the sight of your fucked-out expression. 
Through those hard, taxing rams of his hips against yours, Nanami manages to whisper out a ragged, “You’re jus’ too perfect, my girl. Too irresistible.” Hot tongue licking all over those bruises he so proudly made, “Can’t help but ngh- wan’ you for myself. Want to write my name on you.” 
“W-write your- hngh- Didn’t think you’d be so-” You’re cut off by Nanami’s fingers moving sloppier - faster. Those messy little circles forming- oh. Fuck. 
Your eyes widen, blinking up tearily at Nanami’s loving grin that told you he knew what he was doing. Fingers deftly rolling against your sensitive nub to draw out a persistent little K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T
“This one…” He trails off, pulling your back flush against the ridges and curves of his toned front. So tight it almost hurt. Making it easy to dip his head down and suck on your syrupy addictive lips, “This one’s all f’me.”
♡ GETO SUGURU - 1 month
It’d been a nice, long month without any noise complaints from your neighbors. A month of being left with nothing but the thought of you and whatever disappointing rebound sex you’d been having to make up for it. 
And to Geto Suguru, that was a month too long. 
Which is why he was currently snaking your shaky legs to lock around his neck, hot breath ghosting over your soaked panties as he hums. “Oh how I missed this view.”
You let out an embarrassed whine, cheeks burning at the way that Geto’s hooded eyes were just devouring the sight of your dripping wet cunt. Greedily pulling aside the flimsy fabric to eye the way your pretty pussy was glistening and winking up needily at him. 
“Did anyone else treat you like ya deserve?”
“Wha- oh!”
Geto doesn’t waste any time, flattening his hot tongue to drag it along your sloppy slit - too impatient, too starved to go without a taste any longer. Hell, he already waited a month for this. And he wasn’t going to wait any longer. “Mmm-” Dewy eyes rolling to the back of his head, “Even sweeter than I remembered, gorgeous.”
Diving in so deep between your legs that his nose was pressing up so sinfully against your throbbing clit, chin grinding against your skin. Like he couldn’t care - would love it - in fact if he could suffocate buried right here in his favorite place. 
“Mmm,” he smacks his lips against your puffy ones, teasingly circling right around the sweet spot of your clit. “Bet the neighbors missed me, huh? Missed the way I had you screamin’ on my mouth?”
You click your tongue, bucking your hips up - partially because you needed Geto to make out with your cunt the way you knew he wanted to, partially because you really needed him to shut up right now. “M-maybe.” you mutter.
Geto’s eyes are widening in mock-surprise, “Maybe?” Hooking a finger underneath that familiar little hair tie on his wrist to easily tie back those long, inky locks. Oh. Fuck. You were so fucked. “‘Maybe’ she says, hah. Well, here’s a little reminder, gorgeous.”
And it’s all you can do to bring a hand up to your mouth, trying not to scream when Geto presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss on your needy pussy. Pretty pink lips wrapping around your sensitive nub to suck - harsh. Peering smugly at you through his long lashes when you thrash and buck closer. 
“Yeah?” Geto slurs into your cunt, one hand pushing down your reckless hips. The other rolling your ravaged clit between two fingers. “Remembered?”
It was true - none of your past hookups have ever been this dizzyingly good. 
Your mouth sags open, letting out a broken whine that makes Geto throw his head back and laugh - laugh. Long tongue darting out again, circling your sloppy entrance, pressing in. “Not yet, I think.”
And oh while you were desperately trying to keep quiet, he was trying his very best to do the exact opposite. 
Tongue bullying past your puffy lips to map out all those sweet spots against your gummy walls, brows furrowing in concentration when he picks up an intense, maddeningly little tempo.
And yet, the only thing ringing in Geto’s ears were those fucking obscene squelches from below. Well, that won’t do. 
“Oh!” you yelp at the feeling of two long fingers pumping past that first ring of muscle. “Ngh- fuck you- Sugu!”
Hitting the bullseye of your g-spot straight on. Making you let out a slutty little ah! ah! ah! as his finger pads drag against every sopping nook and cranny of your plushy walls. “Lemme know how good it feels, gorgeous.”
Unapologetic. Unrelenting, as Geto plays with you on his fingers. On his mouth lapping at your syrupy sweet juices, rolling his tongue so mean against your ravaged clit. Your sloppy entrance. Fuck, even those sensitive areas on your thighs. Anywhere and everywhere that Geto Suguru could reach because shit, it’s been too long. And he’s drunk, so fucking drunk on his girl’s pussy. 
Your eyes snap open, and shit the sight is so pretty that it makes you clamp down sinfully on his fingers. Hair falling out of his sloppy bun, framing Geto’s pretty flushed face. As pink as those lips meshing messily with yours. Eyes dazed, miles away, your slick dripping down his face, down, down, down all the way to the curve of his jaw. 
You manage to let out a disbelieving mutter of, “Y-your girl?” And when that doesn’t rouse Geto, you tug familiarly on his disheveled hair. Having to fucking pull him back to repeat, “Your girl?” 
Fuck, did he say that out loud?
Oh, well - he wasn’t entirely wrong, was he?
And he tells you that - involuntarily, of course, high off your sweet taste and your cute moans. Loud. Movements only speeding up. 
“S’true.” You feel his lips form a fucked-out smile against your pussy, “This pretty pussy is mine, right? S’mine to ruin.” Giving your poor, abused clit a lingering, chaste peck - one that if you didn’t know any better, you’d consider to be apologetic. “Mine to make you scream.”
So it only makes sense that you do when you cum. 
“Hngh- oh my god oh my god, Sugu I’m- m’cumming m’cumming hah-” Your thighs tighten around Geto’s frenzied head, vision blurry while he laps away content at your pussy. Difficult, almost, with the way you were clenching and milking his face. Until your voice was hoarse, “I’m- oh”
Your hips drag along his pretty face, and he eases you into it. “Yeahh, that’s it.” Giving your ass a gentle smack, “Jus’ like that. Let ‘em know. Let everyone know there’s no one that knows this pussy as good as me.” 
“Y-you’re so- ngh”
“Shhh shhh, I know I know, gorgeous. But save your voice-” Geto rock-hard cock twitches needily at the thought of how fucking pissed everyone in this apartment building was about to be. “-cuz you’re about to lose it, soon.”
♡ CHOSO KAMO - 4 days
Choso feels hot - he feels like he’s burning from the inside out when you slide your slutty excuse of your panties to the side. Spreading your legs to flash him a glimpse of your dripping wet cunt, “So do it then, if you’re so sorry.”
And oh was Choso sorry. 
Sorry he couldn’t move faster with the way he was immediately sidling up right next to you, shaky fingers trembling on that belt of his until his red, angry cock springs free. Smearing a lewd streak of precum down his abs.
Sorry he couldn’t even pretend to want this any less when he’s immediately sliding his fat, leaky tip between your pretty folds. Sliding up and down up and down up and-
“Oh.” you jaw falls slack when he presses in, stretching that first, feeble ring of resistance around Choso’s thick tip. Hips stuttering in protest, “Fuck- forgot how- ngh, big you are, Cho.”
“S-sorry-” he gasps into your open mouth, moving in shallow, slow grinds to squeeze inside. Catching your lips with his in a messy kiss, “Sorry m’sorry- m- hah-” And whatever coherent thoughts are fucked out of Choso’s mind when he finally sinks in all the way, “Ohhh m’sorry.”
Sorry it took him a whole four days until he was buried to the hilt inside your syrupy sweet pussy again. 
He squeezes the fat of your ass between two hands, pulling your tight pussy impossibly deeper down his length. All the way until you could feel the thump! thump! thump! of his racing veins again your gummy walls. “M’yours again, right?”
And despite his question, Choso doesn’t even think about giving you the time to answer - immediately shoving his swollen cock inside until he could feel the plush of your cervix. Fucking you into your couch so ruthlessly, so depraved. 
Making up for those four days - twofold.
“Ngh- f-fuck, Cho, where did ngh- where did this all come from?” you whine, biting down on his wobbly lower lip. “What’s got you so-”
One arm wraps around your middle, the other snaking down to cut you off with one, hard roll of his thumb against your throbbing clit. “You.” Is all he manages to get out, before looping that same thumb around your flimsy panties. Once - hard. 
Rip!
Looking right into your bleary eyes as he shreds them clean off your waist.
And you can only watch - lips dropping into a soft oh! of disbelief as Choso brings the sodden, tattered fabric up, up, up to his face. Breathing in your essence, “F-fuuck, n’ this pretty pussy, of course.” 
Immediately, he’s smashing into your sensitive spot. Sloppy. Animalistically. 
So depraved - not even pulling all the way out until his weeping tip is circling your entrance like usual. Instead, fucking into you in just quick, jagged thrusts like he was addicted to the feeling of your cunt, addicted to each pretty moan pulled out from you when he brushes up against your g-spot. 
“S’too good, Cho.” you mewl at the way you’re being shoved higher and higher up your couch with your ex-boyfriend’s rough cadence. “S’too- oh-” Scrambling at the cushions, the coffee-table, anything and everything to keep whatever’s left of your sanity. 
So much so that you almost miss the gentle hand placing your trembling ones over Choso’s broad shoulders, whispering out a strained, “M’sorry. Fuck- m’sorry.”  
You didn’t even know what he was apologizing for at this point, but you circle your hands around his neck to pull him closer. Letting Choso place his teary eyes on your mouth, tentatively sucking on your bottom lip, “M’yours, right?” Abusing your poor sweet spots, fingers taking their place back to toy with your pulsing clit. Rolling and circling the sensitive nub against his thick fingers, “Lemme be yours, baby- can’t ngh- can’t live without your sweet pussy. Without you.” 
“Y-yeah?” you let out a wet murmur.
And Choso’s giving you a barely-lucid nod, each drag of his cock along your gummy walls makes him grow louder. Pulling you along with him, closer and closer. 
“Mhm, wanna be yours-” Utterly wrecked little strangled gasps of your name escaping him, “M’gonna die- ya feel too good. Too- hah- mine. Oh, baby m’sorry I’m-”
It’s all it takes for him to send you over the end, with one harsh collision of his thick head against your g-spot. And suddenly you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, feeling Choso’s cock twitch wildly as he fucks you through your high. 
Once. Twice.
With absolutely no rhythm or rhyme - just running on the fumes of you milking him so fucking tight and an orgasm so hard it has tears pricking behind his lids. Cumming in thick, hot ropes of his seed that coat your walls white - again and again and- Choso can’t stop. Doesn’t want to stop. 
“M’sorry- ngh” Doesn’t want to do anything other than push your legs so far apart it burned, eyeing the creamy ring of white around his base as he whispers, “I’ve still got four days to make up for.”
♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - 13 days
“Ya think he’s really gonna like this, brat?” Sukuna breathes hotly against your ear above the thumping bass. Sharp canines grazing along the outer shell, “Think hell like how pretty you look whining on my lap like this?”
You huff in frustration, eyes screwed up against the harsh flashlight shining down on your precarious position. Hands still urgently tugging down your ex-boyfriend tight boxers, skirt hiking up where you were sat so sluttily across his muscled thighs. 
Honestly, you didn’t know that all it’d take for Sukuna to snap was a risky little dance with some cute guy at this party. Eyes hardening, all but dragging your smug self into the nearest unlocked bedroom. 
But, hell, you weren’t complaining about it, either.
“Maybe.” you flash him a devilish grin, batting your lashes up so devilishly innocently at the phone camera pointed at you. Perfectly catching the way your bare cunt was just drooling and glistening all over him, “Or maybe he’ll just wonder why your dick’s so sm-”
Whatever insult dies on the tip of your tongue when Sukuna pulls down his boxers just enough for his swollen cock to hit his toned front. 
Rock-hard and beading angry precum at his fat head, running down, down, down his long length to pool at his heavy balls. So unfairly big that it made your thighs quiver - fuck, it’s been too long. 
And Sukuna notices - of course he does. 
“What were ya sayin’, brat?” he hums, dick twitching ever-so-slightly at the flustered shake of your head. “No no no,” Sukuna raises his knee so that gravity slides you closer down his thigh, his free hand reaching out to squish your cheeks together. Possessive. Demanding. You gasp as he starts up a steady, methodical bobbing of his leg to the music outside. “-use your words. My dick’s so what?”
Sukuna knew the answer - and you did, too. 
And it certainly wasn’t wrapping your swollen lips around that large thumb of his on your face, sucking softly as you rock your hips back to meet his cadence. 
“Nothing, Kuna.” you smile, syrupy sweet. Letting your cunt form a lewd little wet patch that helps you slide easier. “Just talking about-” Sukuna’s breath hitches in his broad chest when you wrap your soft palm around the base of his cock, squeezing. “-how much I missed your dick.”
The camera shakes in his hand, “You little minx.”
Maybe you were an idiot - maybe you were a genius.
Because no sooner are the words out of his mouth before Sukuna’s bucking into your hips, dragging your sloppy cunt along the dips and curves of his thigh muscles. Having him fuck your fist at the same frenzied tempo.
Muffled around his fingers, “Kuna-” 
“Shut up.” he hisses, resting your pretty pussy on that tattooed band on his leg. “Couldn’t even last two weeks. If you hah- missed my dick so bad then y’can get off on this, too, hm?” 
And shit you forgot how mean Sukuna was with his little movements. 
Bouncing his legs to grind your dripping cunt along his thigh, making you ride it so hard that your throbbing clit is catching on his muscles. All the way from near his knee down the sinful trail to where you could almost meet his aching cock.
He pushes the phone closer to catch the way your eyes roll to the back of your head, lips sagging open stupidly. “Answer me. Answer the camera, tell him how much you missed me.” 
The blurry camera alternates between the way you’re pumping your hand - all shaky and soaked in precum - up and down his cock. And the way Sukuna’s dipping a large hand down to help spread your swollen pussy lips, toying with your sensitive nub in the process.
“Ngh-” you squeal when he places that same hand back on your hips, taking control to bully your hips harder and harder down his thigh. Flashlight illuminating that obscene trail of sweet sweet juices you’ve left behind. “M-missed this-”
Sloppier. More desperate. 
And, usually, he’d tease you a little for being so pliant, for humping him like a bitch in heat - but fuck Sukuna can’t even speak when your thumb teases nimbly underneath his sensitive tip - just the way he liked.
“O-oh-” he’s letting out a guttural groan, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the familiar touch. “Heh, that needy? You ngh- wanted this that much ya had to dance with a loser to fuuuck- make me jealous?”
And yet for all Sukuna’s talk, he’s only fucking his hips up into your fist. Recording the way he was furiously twitching in your hands, so needy. So depraved. 
Fingers jolting to leave little crescent marks on your hips as they tighten. Words strained, “Wan’ed to ride my thigh like before? To leave your lil’ mark on me? After all, I did get this thigh tattoo in honor of you, y’know.” 
It’s all you can do to sob out, hips stuttering messily. “K-Kuna- m’close- ah-” Messily dragging your lips across his, “Gonna cum mmpf- gonna cum gonna-”
But oh you should’ve known. Should’ve gotten an inkling that your dear ex-boyfriend wouldn’t let you off that easy. 
Because in a split-second, you’re being plucked off Sukuna���s thigh so easily, the camera set up in some corner of the bed to capture the way he sandwiches his swollen cock between your puffy folds. Kneading at your ass to slobber your syrupy juices all over him. 
Mouth quirking up into a cruel little smile at your disappointed little whine, “You really think m’getting ya for the first time in almost two weeks n’ letting you cum on anything but my cock?” And an even crueler laugh, “Better get workin’ before I send this video to that new boytoy of yours, brat.”
♡ GOJO SATORU - 6 hours
“New shoes, new purses, new nails-” Gojo has his face buried into the crook of your neck, swollen lips bursting with new, broken little moans each passing second, “-a new car- fuck- five new cars. I don’t care, sweetheart. Jus’- jus’ a bit more-”
“Six hours…”
“Six hours too fuckin’ long, thought m’gonna die without this sweet sweet cunt.”
And oh then two large hands of his are shoving up that silky new dress he’d bought for you just a few hours before. Spreading your shaky legs further apart to piston his cock faster - deeper - into your heavenly cunt. 
“Hngh- T-Toru–” you whine, your new heels digging into the skin of Gojo’s toned hips. Jeweled bracelets clanging together as you drag your nails down his milky back - absolutely ruining the smooth canvas. “You’re just b-bribing me.”
“So?” Gojo sounds genuinely confused, raising his pussydrunk eyes to focus on yours, “What’s wrong with ohh fuck jus’ like that- spoiling my girl?”
You give him an eye roll - which only makes your ex-boyfriend let out a stuttering gasp. Head dropping back as his cock twitches wildly, massaging those hidden sweet spots along your gummy walls in a way that only he can.
“The- the problem is- ngh m’not your girl.”
For the entirety of six hours, that is. And the great Gojo Satoru wasn’t about to let that last for a minute longer. 
“Fuuuck don’t say that, sweetheart.” Gojo groans, two fingers making their way downwards to toy with your poor clit, twirling and brushing the pads of his fingers against the sensitive nub. “You’re my girl, always my girl, right? Or do I h-hafta ngh- buy ya another house to prove it?”
You’re gasping at the sight of Gojo reaching for wherever his phone had been thrown off, well and fully intent on calling Tokyo’s best contractor right now. “No!” Pinning his hand down with yours, “Don’t- don’t need another house, Toru.”
Gojo’s pretty pink lips fall into a stubborn pout, and yet his hips never stop. Fucking you into the mattress of this overpriced hotel suite so hard you were sure it would leave marks. 
His heavy balls on your ass, thighs against your own, fingers on your waist - just itching, aching to rip this flimsy dress off of you and fuck you all over again in a whole new one from the stacks of bags on the floor. 
“Then what.” he moans, words hitching upwards with each sloppy smack of his hips against yours. Shuddering out a heavy breath against your lips, “Anything- haaah anything for you. Anything n’ I jus’ want you- fuck fuck fuck jus’ want you.” 
It’s a ragged, dizzying little mantra that he kept spitting into your open mouth. Only growing louder and louder with each drag of Gojo’s massive length against your dripping cunt. Stretching you out, molding you, drawing you back to him.
You choke out, “Wan’- want- ngh-” 
But fuck it was so difficult to speak with how needily Gojo was playing with your pretty pussy. Just ravaging your gaping hole with his unforgiving cock, molding you against each ride and curve of his dick. Fingers so firm on your clit, “Mhm? Tell me- ngh anything.”
“Wan’ you-” you’re letting out an embarrassed pant. Lips crashing against his stunned ones, “Wanna cum- want you- fuck- wanna cum, Toru, so bad.”
“Then cum.” It’s all you can make out through the blood roaring in your ears, your orgasm so close that it almost hurt. Or maybe that’s just how hard that Gojo was pushing into your cervix, your g-spot, everywhere and anywhere. “Cum f’me, my girl.”
And then you are - your entire body jolting into Gojo’s as he fucks you messily through your high. Over and over and-
Barely even making it three, mean thrusts before the way your tight pussy was milking him gets too much. Before he can’t help but spill all into your gummy walls, painting then a creamy little white that was so sinful. So his.
Gojo’s free hand crushes you even closer to his body, pinning you down with his weight to make sure you take every single drop of his seed. All of it. 
“Ohh fuck- you’re right.” he grits out, the pleasure too much that his eyes are blown, jaw falling slack, veins popping out from the side of his neck. “Ngh- this is the best- fuck, you’re the best. The- oh m’gonna give ya everything for the rest of m’life-”
And in the haze of it all, you barely even register the cold, metallic band being slipped gently onto your finger. And despite your blurry, unfocused vision, you could pick apart the ridiculously large diamond winking at you under the dim-lighting. Gojo’s voice sounding way too-pleased as he hums, “Jus’ a lil’ something I bought extra.”
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A/N. Reader in Gojo’s is too nice idc I’d be asking for that new house. 
Plagiarism not authorized.
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voidsentprinces · 4 months
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Fucking love food.
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lesbianraskolnikov · 5 months
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I want to. Screencap. The show and go lalala about it theres some good shots. The german lady in that one scene is so fucking pretty like oh my god i kind of love her. Miss one off. I dont know if itd be funnier to edit rodyas hair and eye color if i post or to draw over him. Yeah thats what he looks like in the show its kind of a roger rabbit situation. I WANT TO CLIP THE MURDER IN GENERAL THE WHOLE THING IS SO ...OKAY.
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