#this is longer than i thought it would be im sorry

[eddiediazismyhusband]

So for this hc thing...how would they spend birthdays? All 3 of buck, eddie and Chris birthday?. I have it in my head that someday on bucks birthday Chris and eddie will make him breakfast in bed and Chris will give him this giant wrapped box that's really light, and inside that is another box and so on, until eventually buck finds an envelope with adoption papers. Yes I know I'm cheesy

okay anon first im gonna need you to write that fanfic and send it to me immediately because that is absolutely adorable… NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR CHEESY BUDDIE FLUFF I EAT IT UP ALL THE TIME

as for birthday headcanon, I have to think about those because for some reason i’ve never given much thought to birthdays specifically?? ive headcanoned so many other things about them but have never given this one much thought aside from what days their birthdays are lmao

so please bear with me as these are not super in depth but just little things i could see them doing ✨

- i think that for a long time (especially after maddie left) buck didn’t like celebrating his birthday, and even to an extent now he doesn’t like to make a big deal out of it, but early on in his friendship with eddie, chris asked when buck’s birthday was and got so excited to celebrate with buck that now that buck and edsie are married, they always do a big celebration with just the three of them; chris and eddie bringing him breakfast in bed, Chris still makes a homemade card for buck, even as a teenager, and when it falls on weekdays when chris has to go to school, buck and eddie spend the day curled up in bed cuddling and talking… eddie has also grown accustomed to taking buck to dinner for his birthday— nothing to fancy, but they enjoy having a date night just the two if them for the occasion. It’s the only reason buck no longer hates his birthday.

- Eddie’s birthday is the same level of big deal for buck and christopher, only Buck ramps up the birthday breakfast to the extreme. Everything else is pretty much the same as buck’s birthday, but for eddie.

- Buck slowly warmed up to the idea of doing something with the 118 for his birthday at Bobby and Athena’s after a few years of working there, and now it is a staple event each year.

- Buck goes all out trying to throw the biggest and best birthday parties for Chris, but as Chris gets older the more he wants a more laidback party with his closest friends rather than a big celebration like when he was younger. He misses the days if a huge party, but is still more than happy to follow Chris’s wishes every year.

- Eddie collects newspaper headlines from each of chris’s birthdays. It was something abuela started with eddie and his sisters, and while he was in the army, he asked if she would start doing the same for chris. Buck never noticed until more recently, and he began doing the same.

- For Buck’s first birthday after their wedding, Eddie gifts him with a small ring on a chain- telling him it was made from the bullet from the sniper— the st christopher emblem is engraved on top of the ring, and buck wears it around his neck

- Buck insists on giving eddie a kiss for every year he’s been alive on his birthday

- eddie proposed to buck on chris’s birthday after asking what chris wanted for his birthday and he said “i want buck to be my other dad”

- chris has a scrapbook that shannon started for him with every birthday card he’s ever gotten— he kept it up after she died, and eddie didn’t find out about it until chris asked if they could buy another scrapbook for him to continue

- Eddie and Chris visit Shannon’s grave every year on Chris’s birthday, Eddie giving him some alone time to talk to her; they also visit for her birthday every year, Chris insisting on leaving her favorite flowers

thank you for the ask, anon! and again I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this one 😭😭💕💕

[robinmage]

It's curious to me, how the general consensus among others when it comes to Chise's curses are "bad; we need to get rid of it (we just don't know how.)" Which, considering they are both curses made of pain and suffering, makes sense why someone wouldn't want to keep those around.

We (the audience) know vaguely how the curses interact with each other. The dragon's curse: made from strong emotions of anger and despair, provides Chise with her strength and durability against both magical and physical elements, at the cost of her own strength one day tearing herself apart. Cartaphilus' curse prevents her from dying, but offers no protection against injury or decay. Together they "keep each other in check"-- Cartaphilus will keep her alive, the dragon will keep her strong.

A lot of things have happened in the past arc that make it easy to forget the fundamentals of the first season. When the series started, Chise was a few steps away from walking off a roof. Even after she arrived in England, it took a long time before she decided that maybe life wasn't so bad. Her entire life up until that point had been nothing but misery; abandoned and alone, she had no one to protect her from the constant targeting and harassment by both fae and humans alike. She believed that the only way to escape her torment was through death... I think its a facet of her character that goes unfairly unrecognized a lot (especially after the first arc).

When she's in England and is going through her mental/psychological character development, she is still facing the imminent threat of her weak sleigh beggey body constantly failing her. Using magic exacerbates her condition, causing her to be sick and/or incapacitated for significant stretches of time. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, it's frustrating. By the time she realizes she wants to live, her clock is already running quite short.

Her solution is handed to her on a rusted platter. To be "just like everyone else", for once. Finally.

Going to school, hanging out with friends, using magic without it killing her-- all things shes never been able to do before. All thanks to the curses trapped in her. These things that should be considered a horribly tragic fate have now become her salvation. Both physically and mentally, she's the strongest and most resilient she's ever been. Yet, when faced with the idea of liberating herself from her curses...

The curses only work the way they do because they're in sync with each other. Taking away either curse would leave her vulnerable to the other-- the dragon's curse would slowly overwhelm her into a brutally agonizing death, while Cartaphilus' curse would leave her to live and suffer through the constant breaking down of her sleigh beggey body.

When told about the reality of her curses and just how severe they are (not just to her, but to the people around her), she doesn't seem to completely understand what that may mean for herself and her future. Or perhaps, she just doesn't care. After a life where pain and suffering was her "normal", she finally has the means to create something meaningful and positive out of herself. How could that possibly be a bad thing?

She understands on some level that these curses were only ever meant to be temporary. Elias' original goal, to keep Chise alive in spite of her sleigh beggey curse, has not changed. Tacking on two more curses was not a part of the plan, and though they've offered a temporary solution and some time, curses are called curses for a reason. They cannot be relied upon. They've got to go.

But getting rid of those curses (both, or either) essentially puts her back at square one. Back to the pain, discomfort, and illness. She probably won't be able to use magic without hurting herself, too. She's gained freedom in both mind and body for the first time in her life. Sure, she encounters a few hiccups, but considering what she's used to, this is a big step up.

Something has finally given her the power and freedom to spread her wings and fly. Would she be able to clip her own feathers just because that power is "supposed" to be "bad"?

Could she? Could you?

Through it all, everyone she's come across has appointed her curses as a problem. Everyone, except...

[haunted-farts]

Some doodles I made awhile ago.

[sorrelpaws]

aallrright here's some of those requests B)

[acetone4veins]

Quotes + Mean Girls

associating angsty quotes (and some fluffy ones) to mean girls characters and dynamics, this is definitely longer than it should be and will probably be part 1 of many but anyways. lmk which were your favorites and which ones ruined you :) also shoutout to the cautionary tale discord who saw some of these already and ramble about these characters with me <3

posting under the cut so i don't clog anyone's feeds

Regina

"what a terrible thing to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously."

Haruki Murakami

"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"

Charles Bukowski

"i am changing. i am trying to be better. it is slow; it is rough; it is repetitive, but i swear i am."

Abdulsamad S. M.

"i did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. i did not like to be touched because i craved it too much. i wanted to be held very tight so i would not break."

Marya Hornbacher

"i was not a loveable child, and i'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."

Gillian Flynn

"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this."

Jessica Katoff

"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound."

Janet Fitch

"i'm restless and harsh and despairing. although i do have love inside me. i just don't know how to use love. sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."

Clarice Lispector

"i did not mean to be cruel. i swear i am good, i am good, i am kind. i have love inside me. some place far far away."

unknown

Cady

"how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?"

Richard Siken

"your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."

Dyodor Dosteovsky

"what and how much had i lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what i myself wished to do?"

Ralph Ellison

"my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?"

Fernando Pessoa

"it was good for a while, being empty. i didn't hurt anymore. but as time went on, it was like i could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back."

Myra McEntire

"is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"

Friedrich Nietzsche

"who's the real you? the person who did something awful, or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?"

Rebecca Stead

"you're a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world's on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorrow - and you will drown everyone to prove it."

unknown

Janis

"there are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship."

Franz Kafka

"i am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary'. it's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you cannot attain."

Catherine Breillat

"but whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself."

Kate Chopin

"there were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find."

Chris McGeown

"perhaps its good for one to suffer. can an artist do anything if he's happy? would he ever want to do anything? what is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?"

Aldous Huxley

Gretchen

"i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love."

Sylvia Plath

"she wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. she was so tired of begging people to love her."

Kristin Hannah

"he is charmingly telling me how much he does not love me...and i, - listening to him carefully, - am approving it."

Marina Tsvetaeva

"she's gonna forever say 'i got this' even with tears in her eyes."

unknown

"still there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind."

Michael Cunningham

"can you understand me? someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?"

Sylvia Plath

"i am trying to make myself digestible. i am trying to make myself easy to love."

I.B. Vyache

"do you think it is possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"

Tyler Knott Gregson

Karen

"the sensitive suffer more; but they love more, and dream more."

Augusto Cury

"a lot of people tell me i'm a bit dreamy. but i like the idea of that. of being somewhere else."

Alam

"you cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. this is your tragedy, because you understand them but they do not understand you."

Daniel Saint

Regina and Janis

"the bear loved the deer, it was obvious. it ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection. i thought of you and me."

David Cronenberg

"can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"

Jodi Picoult

"love isn't soft, like those poets say. love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close."

Stephen King

"i love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Pablo Neruda

"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i love you and i will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh."

unknown

"there's a sickening feeling of familiarity, when the wrong person knows you too well and you know them too well. and they weren't always the wrong person."

unknown

"we don't mean to hurt each other, but we do. and perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little wrong."

Beau Taplin

Regina and Cady

"i am intense darkness and you are a golden sunrise."

Arijit Singh and Pritam

"even before you touched me, i belonged to you; all you had to do was look at me."

unknown

"whether you come as a lover or an executioner, i am ready to receive you."

Agustin Gomez-Arcos

"for the longest time, i saw myself as a bad person. you don't know how much it meant to me when you looked at me and could see the good."

unknown

"but i have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and i choose both."

Sarah Kay

"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4 am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."

unknown

Gretchen and Karen

"i would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world."

Jojo Moyes

"it hurts, he realizes, to love someone who can't love themselves. like watching a work of art set itself on fire."

unknown

"how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head."

Nina LaCour

"come love, make me better than i was. come teach me a kinder way to say my own name."

Andrea Gibson

"i wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway."

Georges Bataille

"sometimes, love is as simple as watching the moon and sometimes its as difficult as counting the stars. but i love doing both for you."

unknown

Janis and Damian

"you may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. some you'll discover you should put behind you. others are worth every risk."

Adam Silvera

Regina and Gretchen

"but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me."

unknown

"i burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if i loved you back. i did, i did, i do."

Annelyse Gelman

"so i wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. till then my windows ache."

Pablo Neruda

"how do you tell someone that the reason you're sad is because you love them?"

unknown

[ef-1]

girlhood

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hand over the little beasts

on it boss!! o7 this took . fuckig Forever bc i had t doodle everyone since the screencaps i have for them have like 5 pixels Total and would be Incomprehensible so <333 Behold My Beasts!!!

team control team!! they r so silly 2 me :] more abt em under th cut bc uhhhh. yknow.

- Jacob - Snow White's Apple (+Penitence) my first little guy!!! he has a very serious and to-the-point demeanor, and has a very flat inflection on... pretty much everything about himself. he's the one that most embodies his role, for lack of a better term. takes his job very seriously, and intends to do well. his attitude is very dry, but he is very genuine and earnest when it comes down to it in an odd sort of way. he's the type to say something completely off-the-wall entirely stone-faced, and will oftentimes take things said to him in a similar manner. there isnt that much that seems to be able to catch him off guard. if theres something in his way, then he will simply have to overcome it. he'll try anything once. jacob is very intent on keeping things orderly, and will enforce this with his peers if he needs to. bluntly. chaos and a lax attitude are the catalysts to things going wrong, so its as simple as minimizing the chances for this to occur. simple. despite his nagging with the rest of the team, he means no sharpness by it-- he's direct (and maybe a bit... heavy-handed,) but he simply talks to others the way he would address himself, and sees nothing wrong with it. (unfortunately, this makes him come across as rude more often than he'd like... not that hes usually aware.) because of his unexpressive exterior, its oftentimes very difficult to get a grasp on how he thinks or feels about things-- especially since he himself seems to pay it very little heed, even when he Maybe Probably Should. one of the ones most likely to work himself to death without realizing it. hes doing his best ok.

- John - Sound of a Star (+Wingbeat, Hornet) very lax and lackadaisical-- hes insistent on doing what he needs to and very little else. in fact, he makes a very big show of it; always taking his sweet time, not really showing concern for much of anything, even when things are, as they say, Kind Of Really Bad. (Jacob tends to need to prod him along more often than not.) despite this, john is actually one of the more reliable agents of the facility-- always getting things done thoroughly and efficiently with very little instance of error. truthfully, he's actually very prideful in the work that he does, and quite enjoys showing off his skills when he gets the chance. infuriatingly, he tends to respond to questioning of his abilities with a flippant "im just that good." and well... its honestly what he believes. truthfully, he has a complete aversion to genuineness of any kind-- responding to questions with snarky remarks or quips, complaining about assignments, cracking jokes in the face of catastrophe. its... honestly more of a nervous habit than an active choice. in his eyes, if he cant do anything about an issue, theres simply no reason to worry about it. and so he coasts along, completely unruffled on the surface. at first, he didnt really see what the big deal was about the facility. everyone always spoke like it was a death sentence-- but it was just kind of poking some creature or another and leaving a few times a day and that was it. so he let his attitude reflect that. but once things started climbing, he began to slowly understand just how out of his depth he was; and his demeanor... didnt change. why should it? why bother? confidence was half the battle anyway, no point in showing your weakness. honestly, he has no idea what hes doing and simply acts the part-- it just hasnt burned him yet. (not to mention, with how serious the rest of his team was... well, they could use the encouragement.) and well, if it works... who cares about what lies underneath, right? no big deal. just get good.

- Jose - Lament (+Lament) the asiyah layer's special errand boy. for a good while, he was the team's most skilled employee-- always taking care of things cross-department due to being the only one who could really cover that role. watching newbies, working with new abnos, tackling faraway ordeals... that was all on him. and he didnt mind at first, really-- he enjoyed doing good work, being relied on by his peers... but um, well, he'd love maybe a little break, once or twice, thats all... but there's always more work to do, so... he was the first to work with fotb-- certainly not the last, but definitely the most Common. he also happened to be the most Receptive to it. already he was pretty high-strung from the pressure of his responsibilities, but... it was safe to say things reached an entirely new level after that. he wasnt used to abnormalities being so reasonable, for lack of a better term, nor to be able to just... have a conversation, like that. maybe he was listening just a bit too genuinely. they dont want anyone to die. they really dont want anyone to die. but theres nothing really they can do. just keep running! just keep your head up! if anything else, just stay alive! but at this point, death really isnt the worst thing that could happen to them in a place like this. truly, the worst has already happened. there's no escaping the facility, after all. but what could he do about that? so he repeats like a mantra; just dont die. just dont die. please just dont die. he wants to do good so fucking bad. so much is on his shoulders, and he Has to carry it. its practically compulsive. he has to do it because nobody else can. nobody else should Have to. and so he fusses over just about everyone, completely unable to speak of Why it is he's suddenly so skittish-- especially because of just how busy his responsibilities keep him. he just cant stop. theres no time. every second wasted is another chance something could happen. not once, though, did he really worry about himself. the contrast was stark-- constantly running himself ragged for the sake of others, yet paying no heed to his own safety. all that mattered was carrying out his tasks... which made things difficult as the stakes kept rising, but his own capabilities did not. the people he worried about were suddenly able to do things he couldnt even imagine-- and he was struggling paces behind them. he pretends not to notice how much more of his time is spent waiting. its... how do you deal with worrying about those facing trials far beyond anything you know, and you yourself are fully unable to reach them? it was best not to worry about it. ...he was never much good at that, was he?

- Mabel - Mimicry (+Noise, Mimicry, Our Galaxy) hes just some guy. like... he just works here. kinda stands out like a sore thumb, honestly, because of how strikingly... normal he was. a little awkward but well-meaning, prone to wandering (and slacking off...) he mostly just took care of smaller tasks and issues for a while-- coming in so late comparatively, he fell pretty far behind, pretty much just working on zayin level abnormalities well past day 20 or so. more often than not, he was the only one in the control team's main room while everyone else took care of pressing tasks cross-facility, only getting to share a word or two of pleasantries before they had to run off again. he knew the work was important, but... well, everyone always looked so sullen. he could never really understand why-- and whenever he brought it up, it seemed to just sour the mood... after a while, he just stopped trying. things suddenly changed, though, when the facility got its first aleph: nothing there. and somehow, he was decided to be most fit to work with it. it was strange, to say the least, mostly taking care of things that barely seemed to acknowledge his presence and then suddenly... that. hed be lying if he said he wasnt afraid, but this was his job, and he was trusted with it. so obviously that meant they knew he could do it, right? right. things switched around very quickly. he wanted to say it wasnt a bad thing, but... it was weird, is all. going from some nobody standing alone and aimless to... tackling things that shouldnt exist, killing things with power he isnt sure is really his. a lot of things were suddenly like that, honestly. he. suddenly feels like he has to be on his best behavior. um. is this thing on? manager are you seeing this? he gets a lot quieter after that. as it turns out, hes very harsh when he doesnt mean to be. hes honest, but sometimes that honesty could hurt. hes a bit intense… everyone else was, so it kinda rubbed off on him. hes compensating for his own lack of interest in bloodshed. he wants to be respected, but it just ends up scaring people. he isnt quite sure how to stand up for himself now. he just does what hes ordered bc hes never had a choice before, so why now? he needs to figure out who he is again– the ego did quite a number on him. he kinda fucks up on interactions way more than he thinks he used to. he keeps himself small and quiet so he doesnt accidentally trample over anyone. (he doesnt like the strange looks the clerks give him now. he doesnt exactly Like his ego gear or what it does to his brain, but it keeps him safe, so... hes here to help, remember? don't be scared...) honestly, he does really yearn for kindness and gentleness. its just… hard to admit. especially to people he still subtly thinks are above him. hes not stupid. he knows abandonment when he sees it. he cant really blame them for it, but… it still hurt, yknow? he wasnt Supposed to be anything, which was insulting, but now that he Is everyone treats him so differently, and somehow thats even More insulting. hes more than just a machine yknow… but, well, if that's his job, then. whatever.

theyre basically just.... a bunch of randos who are all trying their best, got disillusioned and distant, then suddenly clung together after realizing just how fucked everything was all of a sudden. theyre all overwhelmed, but theyll be damned if they dont look out for each other. jose was team captain first, but after some shuffling, the title fell on jacob. they all seem much happier with this.

they all honestly bounce off of each other really well despite everything-- jacob keeps everyone facing the right direction, quickly and calmly guiding the team. john provides a more lighthearted energy, but also is very skilled at keeping a level head and offering clarity when the others get overwhelmed. jose and mabel both cover for everyone else, but Especially each other after their own respective... trials. despite The Horrors, theyre all honestly keeping each other together very well.

bbbbut thats only four of them right? five to a team and all. well the fifth is um, well. yknow, its. well,

(also heres everyone elses sprites from various places in th playthru bc ilove them :] yay)

[b4kuch1n]

pre-holiday leave crumbs

[skenpiel]

@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)

[kennysdeadbody]

k here it is 👍

[andromerot]

whooooo in the twin peaks writing room decided we really should care about james hurley. i dont

[sparatus]

heyoooo I saw some tags on a post you shared that said something about how the batarian resistance was born, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on a batarian resistance because I also want to do a batarian resistance, but I've been having trouble noodling out what that looks like.

okay attempt two at answering this cause my computer decided to restart itself last time and i got mad and didn't want to retype everything lol

obviously i'm going to start with saying the vast majority of my batarian work is in my no-reapers au exponential differentiation, especially blood in the water where the two deuteragonists working with shepard are second in command of the resistance tarvok shad'derah and his friend and close ally of the resistance gurji taeja, and we're also poised right at the start of the hegemony plotline in in the land of giants and the resistance will be pretty involved in upcoming chapters (and are already there, please come read it i have essays). moving on.

the short answer is... there is no short answer. it's complicated. the hegemony, per canon, is a strict caste-based, totalitarian oligarchy with complete control over every aspect of life underneath them. you can't work with batarians without addressing the hegemony somehow. there's going to be a lot of messy politics, and wildly varying opinions towards the resistance (there's going to be a lot of people who think it's not worth fighting! let them kill themselves off! why are you going to so much effort!), and very heavy topics that need a lot of care to portray sensitively. the hegemony is very clearly based on very real regimes that killed a lot of people and left a lot of lasting damage. a lot of where i started looking at batarians with a sympathetic lens is from talking to a friend of mine who lives in brazil and saw a lot of their own experiences reflected in the batarians, and quite a few other regimes there are still people alive who remember living under them are obvious inspiration for bioware as well (stalinist ussr is the most obvious, but there's definitely aspects of mussolini's italy and north korea as well, to name a few). accordingly, i've been doing my best to approach the topic sensitively; literally the most important thing i can stress with working with batarians is do your research. there's an awful lot of nuance to consider, and boiling it down to basic "good guy rebels vs evil government" does it a serious disservice.

that out of the way, let's get into it after the cut. i'm going to preface this with a disclaimer that a lot of this is my own work and i am not comfortable with others using it without permission. nothing against you personally i just have some bad experiences with people "taking inspiration" from me and literally just lifting my shit whole-cloth without asking me and only crediting me in a separate place away from the actual fic, lol. so anything with specific names or timelines or just anything that's me speculating and not found in canon is not free to use, kthx.

anyway.

in order to write a resistance against the hegemony, you have to start with actually writing the hegemony. yeah i know i know nobody wants to put too much effort into the slaver assholes, but it's important. and we do actually have some canon details about how the hegemony functions, so Reading The Wiki actually a pretty good place to start! based on what (admittedly not a lot) we know about the hegemony, they're a totalitarian oligarchy where the richest rule. you can potentially buy your way to a higher caste if you make enough money, but it's very difficult, and they're incredibly cutthroat. basically, life under the hegemony is very every man for himself.

this is to the upper castes' advantage! aggressive enforcement of the status quo by the higher-ups, using fear and violence as weapons, not only works very well to oppress the lower castes, but it also encourages people to turn on each other and rat each other out. you're unlikely to find a lot of camaraderie among average batarians - if anyone could turn you in to the cops, you're not gonna trust anybody, and that's gonna go a long way to keeping people under the upper castes' thumbs. we can even reasonably infer that family members are encouraged to report on each other - it's happened irl! it's super useful! nobody trusts each other, everyone's afraid of surveillance, nobody is safe. building up any sort of resistance movement is going to be incredibly difficult anywhere the hegemony can listen.

further, it's canon that the hegemony very tightly controls the flow of information in and out of their borders, and that includes information about the other species and life outside the hegemony. keeping the population ignorant makes them easier to control, after all. this is a known and very common tactic in authoritarian regimes. the common batarian living within hegemony borders believes that their way of life is best, this is how things are meant to be, and all the aliens are lesser beings and basically savages, so it's best to just listen to the hegemony and do as you're told and never ever leave :) why would you want to leave when this is the best possible life for you :) most batarians aren't going to be aware that there's anything wrong with the dystopian horror they're living in, because it's all they've ever known and all they can know. so odds of the lower castes all realizing they're being oppressed and agreeing "fuck that" together are uhhh slim to none, to say the least. this shit goes very deep, and the hegemony has been in place for centuries, so they've had a lot of time to root themselves in the populace's collective heads as Good And Correct And The Only Way To Live.

so, okay, let's leave the hegemony. easy right? wrong. sure, omega has no rules, but that means you're unlikely to find a lot of help if the hegemony decides to drag your ass back. you're still going to have to stay vigilant for spies and trackers and unfriendly tech, assuming they're not going to just up and kill you (which is probably more likely, even - out in terminus, nobody looks twice at somebody getting ganked, but a kidnapping will draw more attention, and then you've got martyrs, and nobody wants those). outside hegemony space, you're going to run into two main flavors of batarian:

batarians who were born under the hegemony, but no longer live there. these can be divided further into batarians who are still loyal to the hegemony for one reason or another (money, habit, blackmail), and those who have cut ties. either they managed to escape somehow, they were let go willingly and decided never to go back, or somebody else took them out of hegemony space.

batarians who were not. these will then be divided into those who still work with the hegemony (we know they pay good, after all) and those who want nothing to do with them.

of those four groups, you're going to have to make a hell of a pitch to get allies for any budding resistance movement - the hegemony are seen as an omnipresent evil in terminus, but one you can live with as long as you don't do anything stupid. keep your head down, or take their money even, and you'll probably be okay. they're a big damn government with a wide territory and lots of guns, and we know canonically that they have a lot of tech and stuff that they don't even share with the rest of the galaxy because they're paranoid and selfish, so "just stay out of their way" is going to be a very, very popular method of dealing with them.

oh, and remember what i said about hegemony info diets? yeah. culture shock once you're out is gonna be a bitch. we're talking near-catatonia levels of existential crisis here.

"what about the citadel," you may ask. great question! fair point! we can in fact reasonably infer that the vast majority of citadel species, with the exception of the asari with their """indentured servitude""" and possibly the hanar depending on how far down the rabbit hole of the hanar-drell relationship you feel like going down with me, are very anti-slavery and would support going against the hegemony! except, unfortunately, it's more complicated than that, because the batarians were the fourth species to reach the citadel, can be inferred to have been the "peacekeepers" of the galaxy prior to the uplifting of the krogan (yes i have textbooks of batarian history no we're not getting into it right now go read bitw), and in general are a big damn nuisance that the council don't want to risk war with right at the moment. "but there's more of them then there are of the hegemony!" yeah and you know how many of them are actually capable of war? the turians. das it. until the alliance start getting in slapfights with the hegemony, the turians are the only species really capable of waging war to any meaningful extent, and supporting the resistance in any way, even just allowing them to Exist on the citadel, would cause a lot of trouble for the council that they simply aren't able to deal with while the batarians still have their embassy on the station. remember what i said about politics? yeah you came and asked tumblr user sparatus about this there's so much xenopolitics involved in why the hegemony haven't been wiped off the map yet i made this field up but it's my passion--

ahem. does this sound like more effort than it's worth yet? good. that's the point.

in short: getting any sort of resistance movement going with any degree of traction is going to be incredibly difficult. there's very few places to run, getting recruits who are at least mostly sane will be like pulling teeth, and you're basically on your own. it's even fair to assume that resistance movements have happened in the past and failed. the hegemony are large and in charge, and yeah sure they're falling down on themselves and a shadow of their former selves but that makes them more dangerous because, as we can see in canon, that pride makes them aggressive and very determined not to show weakness or let anyone know how bad things are getting. taking them down is an uphill battle in the blinding snow and brother, the resistance are a beat-up rear-wheel drive with no snow tires and a faulty fuel injector.

no, i don't make metaphors that make sense. i write about political intrigue and the comics characters, it's obscure bullshit or bust over here.

obviously that's not all to say a resistance movement is impossible. i have one myself, hi how ya doin read my fic. that's all just set up. to write a resistance movement against a massive, well-entrenched regime like the hegemony, you first have to have a good, solid idea of what they're resisting against, and all the factors getting in their way. it's hard! it's difficult! it's true to how these things tend to work out in real life!

here's how i have things set up for my own work (again, keep in mind this work is not free to use):

the hegemony's fall from grace following their defeat by the rachni and their job as the main military might being usurped by the krogan and later turians has led to infighting and cannibalizing each other. as conditions steadily declined and the bad parts of the bad system got worse, what was previously a sustainable dystopia spiraled downwards into a ticking timebomb. the conclave (the "senate" which is now effectively no longer elected running everything, the top caste) is inbred to hell and back, because you can't possibly marry outside your caste, and the question of nonviability is becoming a when, not an if.

the arrival of the alliance and the council's apparent "favoritism" (read: not simply letting the hegemony have their way, because no you're both breaking laws actually please just shut up and sit down for mediation) has destabilized their standing in galactic society, causing their retreat further into isolation. this is making everything worse. things fall apart.

some senators within the conclave, particularly senators shahok khor'berran and morem kednelok, have recognized the hegemony is barrelling towards its breaking point and are looking for reform.

morvarn taryn, a cop in dasrak (the capital city, btw i will always be salty bioware didn't even give khar'shan a CANON CAPITAL CITY), has always struggled with having more empathy than a man of his caste is supposed to have. this gets him in trouble when dealing with a krogan slave that keeps breaking confinement, wragg, because damn that poor guy's really fucked up huh. (this also gets into alien slavery and that whole quagmire, but that's a different essay), but he doesn't really actually question the regime fully until a friend of his, air force lieutenant tarvok shad'derah, comes by the bar one day clearly in pain, and morvarn convinces him to come to his apartment for treatment and finds tarvok and his squad have been subjected to sapient experimentation without anaesthesia and the wounds have been left exposed.

the shad'derahs are a prominent family line due to their ancestor rothok being the second spectre in history and a close friend of gurji beelo. further, as a military officer tarvok is roughly the same caste as morvarn, and they both should be spared from this kind of treatment. the fact that even their middle-tier caste isn't enough to keep them from being seen as tools and objects radicalizes morvarn, but he doesn't realize it yet.

he brings his concerns to a close friend. friend happens to be senator shahok, who sees an opportunity and agrees with morvarn that either things need to change, or the hegemony will fall, and perhaps it needs to for their own survival as a species.

several months pass, with much thinking and discussing of what to do. tarvok disagrees that anything needs to change, and insists this is just the way things are, but morvarn's compassion sticks with him until a fateful mission rattles him, and the hegemony's plan to subject his younger brother thrajul to the same treatment he's had convinces him it's time to leave.

shit happens, blah blah blah, morvarn and tarvok end up fleeing khar'shan with a small group of supporters and also non-supporters who have no other choice but to go with. they run to omega and spend a few months trying to sort themselves out before deciding to keep trying to rescue friends and family from the hegemony.

this evolves into other batarians seeking their help getting their own loved ones out, raiding slavers, deep-cover missions, etc etc, until they're actually a proper resistance movement. they even make non-batarian friends, including gurji taeja, beelo's descendant who has a familial loyalty to the shad'derahs because salarians have like a whole thing about that.

there is no true plan for taking down the conclave, because how the fuck are they supposed to do that

and that's how exdiff and the whole x57 and resulting hegemony plotline tie in, because x57 kicks off the hegemony gearing up for war properly and once [REDACTED] then well the hegemony's the only problem left to deal with and hey look there's this whole group of guys with very intimate knowledge of what to do with them and some guys on the inside,

i have a fic planned for the actual downfall it's called carrion men and i am GOING to outline it next year so maybe i can get started writing it for camp nano or proper nano

..... oh my god this is so much. i am so sorry to anybody whose phone this fucking destroys trying to load it. but also not really. my m.e. big bang fic was an entire treatise of political intrigue and speculation on potential asari supremacy conspiracy, you don't come to me for concise answers on xenopolitical things. anyway hello i have put a completely normal and reasonable amount of work into the hegemony and the resistance and batarians in general

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

While 'Renan is off finding the holy grail, slaying one and a half high dragons, burning the rotting corpse of the crucified king, and having a personal crisis, Noya is also having A Great Time in the Deep Roads! :) Including but not limited to fun activities such as: nug wrangling, being trapped miles under the earth for weeks on end, finding and killing two paragons, and encountering horrors beyond her imagination that will fuel nightmares for the rest of her life! <3

[wizardofgoodfortune]

27 for Spotify fic thing!

a bit of comfy dreamling. and i fully believe that this would've been better if i had finished reading the entirety of the comics. alas... we can have a bit of silliness for now! but thank you for the ask!! 💓 i hope you are having fun with the ask game.

--

When you've lived for such a long period of time unimaginable to the common living being, asking for help is something short of unthinkable. He is Endless, after all. Lord of Dreams and Ruler of Nightmares. The Dreaming itself.

At least, that's what Dream thinks.

Death said he was foolish for not asking for help during his century in the Wych Cross, in the Burgess's basement, and for the pursuit of his tools afterwards. He doesn't think she will ever understand—he didn't want to worry her, or anyone for that matter.

Much less Hob Gadling, who is a mere 600 years old. He was older than most, yes, but still. Dream should be able to handle everything by himself. The Shaper of Forms should be able to fix all his problems on his own.

This is why Dream couldn't fathom why Hob gave him this tiny device he called a 'mobile phone'.

"Keep in touch," Hob said, "for when you need my help the next time you get... compromised. Or for when you just want a drink. Or a friend," he tacked on, grinning.

Dream stared at the phone accusatorily. It sat on the couch beside him in his room, unaware of his glare.

It was as if Hob didn't know how hard it already was for him just to mention that he'd been captured. By a human, with parlor tricks, no less. And before their recent meeting, they just met once every hundred years. Now Hob expected Dream to just... 'text' him?

Dream scoffed. This was ridiculous. They should have just continued to meet every hundred years.

But then again, the whole ordeal with Rose Walker and Desire just finished. Could Hob have helped with that problem? Most likely not. But sometimes, Dream did find that... elaborating... on one's feelings... proved. Useful.

And in the light of having been betrayed by his sibling, there was nothing he wanted more than to hear someone talk at him, for distraction. Or maybe even listen to him. Much like Hob did, the last time, in The New Inn.

Dream sighed. This was ridiculous. He tucked the phone into his coat, and left. He had much to do, and little time to spend on frivolities. He couldn't spend his time ruminating on every single thing in his life; he would certainly go insane if he did. So he will concentrate on the things he can fix now.

--

Dream was in the middle of a meeting with Lucienne and Merv when a ding! rang in the throne room. Lucienne looked up from her notes, and Mervyn cocked his pumpkin head.

It came from inside his coat. Dream paused for a moment, and opened his mouth to continue—

Ding!

"Uh, boss, I think that's coming from you," Merv said.

Lucienne hid the lower half of her face in her ledger. Dream dreaded to think why.

"I will take care of this," Dream said, standing from his throne. "I trust you will be able to attend to the repairs in my place, Lucienne. Mervyn."

"Of course, my lord," Lucienne said.

"See ya, boss," Merv said.

Dream turned away and blinked into his room before he could see them smile at each other at his expense.

He conjured the phone from his coat, forming from grains of sand. The screen simply said, '2 new messages from Hob Gadling.'

"Hey stranger! Fancy a night out at The New Inn? Just got done with finals, and I could use a relaxing evening. Beer for me, wine for you? I got you something even better than before," the first text said.

In their last meeting, Dream had actually caved to drinking wine. It seemed more palatable than any of the drinks in the past six centuries, and he was. In a good mood, so to say. He didn't really realize how thirsty he was until he got into a comfortable atmosphere.

"And I'm thinking you should try out our pizza tonight. Only made out of the finest ingredients, I promise. If you thought the shepherd's pie was good, wait for this one," the second text said.

And how hungry.

And because the Dreaming is him, thunder rumbled in the distance, as if to imitate an empty stomach growling.

This is ridiculous, Dream thought, as he stepped out of his room and into The New Inn. It was evening this time, and the place glowed yellow and orange. It was alive with its customers' tipsy buzz, the clinking of tableware, and the smell of savory food and alcohol.

Dream looked over to the spot where Hob sat before, and felt a pang of an unnamable feeling in his chest when he didn't see him there.

"My friend," bellowed a familiar voice from behind the counter.

It was Hob. He had a small towel thrown over his shoulder, and he had half of his hair tied back. Dream noticed the beads of sweat on his temples.

"Didn't expect you here so soon. I'll be right with you," Hob said, his face bright. He gestured to the table in the corner. "Have a seat."

And so Dream sat where he sat before. What was Hob up to?

"Sorry for the wait," said Hob from behind. He came brandishing a glass and a bottle. Was that a smear of something red on his cheek? And why was he wearing a flour-dusted apron? "If I knew you would come this fast, I would have texted you much earlier."

Dream watched Hob pour him a glass of wine.

"Y'know, you could have replied. I would've been more prepared that way," Hob said, setting down the bottle, and settling down across Dream. "Not that I mind, of course. Just thought you would be more preoccupied. But I could get used to it."

Dream huffed. "Do not. You merely caught me at an opportune time."

"And what joy," Hob said. He was grinning. Then he was standing up again. "Be right back."

Hob disappeared behind the counter and into what Dream assumed is the inn's kitchen. Dream looked at the wine. It didn't seem right to drink alone.

So instead, Dream listened to the sound of the inn's patrons talking to their friends about their day, good or bad, listened to the soft music playing on the speakers, listened to the dreams of a student snoozing on his friend's shoulder, heavily inebriated too early in the night.

He was having a nightmare about his 'finals,' as Hob called it. Dream waved the nightmare away. In this place, he deserved comfy dreams. His nightmare could wait another night.

"Make way, hot pizza coming through," Hob announced from behind again, hurriedly setting down a wooden plate. On it was flat bread with golden, melted cheese and the same red sauce that Dream saw on Hob's cheek earlier. There were also sliced cherry tomatoes and basil leaves on top. The pizza glistened under the yellow lights of the inn.

"Been a while since my last pizza," Hob said, sitting down across him with a sigh. He held his beer in his other hand. Maybe this time he would stop moving around so much.

Wait.

"You made this," Dream said, in disbelief.

"Yeah, picked it up when I lived in Italy a few years back. Don't think it's as good as how they taught me, but you be the judge. And don't hold back," Hob said as he cut through the sauce and cheese with a knife. "Hey, you haven't drank your wine yet."

"No," Dream said. He didn't want to elaborate.

"Buon appetito," Hob said, gesturing to the pizza. He wiped some of the sweat on his forehead away with his towel.

Dream stared at Hob.

"Please, before it gets cold," Hob insisted.

"Are you not going to eat?" Dream asked.

"Oh." Hob paused. Was that surprise? "I suppose I should, shouldn't I?"

Dream took his slice the same time Hob did, but Dream had more difficulty with his. The cheese stretched on impossibly, refusing to let go, until Hob chuckled and cut through it with his knife.

And finally, Dream bit into the slice. Both the sliced tomatoes and the tomatoes used in the red sauce reminded him of a dream of a farmer in the Italian countryside, toiling away in the hot day and coming home to his wife and son, his arms full of produce. The hot cheese came from the milk of a family cow cherished by its farmer. It dreamt of a seemingly never-ending green pasture, where she lived with her calves. The bread had the thoughts of the man in front of him kneaded into it, thoughts of how proud he was of his students, especially those graduating soon. Even the basil leaves contained Hob's thoughts, each carefully placed on the pizza, wondering if Dream would like it.

Dream gulped.

"Good?" Hob asked. He was smiling, but Dream spotted a bit of worry on the lines in his crow's feet.

"It is," Dream tried to find a sufficient word, but ended up echoing Hob, "good."

Dream watched Hob's shoulders loosen.

"Good. Great," Hob said, grinning, fully this time.

Dream felt his own chest tighten. He stifled the feeling with more of the pizza instead, and listened to Hob launch into how finals week went.

Maybe later in the night, wine-drunk, Dream would tell Hob of what happened recently. But right now, he was content to eat, and drink, and listen to his friend.

[rustingcat]

for the ask game, care to tackle F and M?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Well, since most of my favourite stuff is still unpublished, you get to have a special sneak peak for the next chapter of my SAO au (which will be published after supercorptober). It's part of a conversation between Alex and Kara talking about Maggie.

"Did it bother you?" Kara asked seriously. "What did?" "That she thought you were gay," she clarified. "No, you know, I'm an ally. I believe anyone should love who they want to love. I think it's really cool that she's gay. It's just that I'm not." "Right, it's just you talked about it a lot just now." Kara noted. "Gee, it's just you with all these questions, and the 'it's not funny, Alex'. You're the one who dragged it out. I was just telling you about my day. So what about you? what have you been up to?"

It's actually one of the first things I've ever written, not only for this fic but in general, and I think it's just very relatable.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I have so mamy 😂

My WIP pile is quite impressive if I say so myself, but there are a few AUs that I'm working on that I'm really looking forward to sharing. Unfortunately, most of them are really long projects that will take me a while to finish. I do have a special project with one @mycatismyeditor that we hope to finish by the end of the year, but who knows.

[saintetheldreda]

SAINT hi look :) stick season!! (+ Vide noir)

this is literally so fucking real and true winter will ALWAYS be the season of the sticks to me i first discovered this album in winter (stick season itself!!!) and i was having the fucking shittiest cataclysmic time in my life and i had always hated winter all my life with an intense passion so my only thoughts on winter were like fuck now i have to be miserable and also in pain due to cold now fucking fabulous

and when i first found stick season i played it just constantly cause i was so in love with it and i have these memories of walking around and looking up at the bare trees while listening to it (thats why he calls winter stick season if youre not familiar with the term its cause the trees are bare only telling you cause i had to look up what it meant when i first heard it haha) and thinking you know what maybe im meant to be sad it is the season of the sticks after all and i was tired and sad but that made me so happy and fond

ever since then the album has always been about that to me, finding beauty in sadness and recognising there is a legitimate time and a place for that in the universe and making space for it and letting it in because there is a season for it and i have loved winter ever since so yes we are rebranding winter to stick season i think only real and good things will come out of that