#umm sorry this took me longer than i thought it would because to be honest

[sorrelpaws]

aallrright here's some of those requests B)

[freddie-weaselbee]

Someone Blue//F.W.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader 

Warnings: Slight language, angst, a lot of confusion, fluffy ending

Summary: Fred spots a familiar face at his brother’s wedding, and has a sinking suspicion about why she’s acting so upset during this time of celebration. 

Prompts: Enemies to Lovers (kind of) and Weddings with the dialogue prompts “you look like you need a hug” and “did you need something?”

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: Day 1 of @theweasleyslut‘s 2k writing challenge 

Angelina looked absolutely ethereal, skin glowing in the shimmering lights as she glided across the grass as if it was a ballroom floor. Her white dress was slightly stained, mostly from when her now husband tackled her to the ground after their first kiss as a married couple, and yet it only made her seem all the more angelic. 

George’s feet seemed to never touch the ground. He was moving at record speeds, prancing and hopping and skipping around the dance floor, dragging his wife along with him. It was the most joyful Fred had ever seen him. 

Not when they left Hogwarts, not when they opened their shop, not even when Angelina said yes to the proposal could have compared to the happiness on George’s face. Nor Angelina’s. They were in a pure state of bliss. 

The rest of the wedding-goers seemed to match their energy. Fred couldn’t go anywhere without being bombarded with drunken laughs and horrid dancing, and the occasional congratulations or two from some tipsy guests who didn’t know that the man they were talking to wasn’t the groom. 

All in all, it was an amazing night. The field behind the burrow had become a traditional wedding venue for the growing Weasley children, so far hosting Bill, Percy, Ron, and now George’s days to remember. The tents and lights were all set up as they were with Bill and Fleur’s wedding, except this time there was no risk of Death Eaters ruining the event. Hopefully. 

However, while making his way around to talk to (and flirt with) the guests, Fred happened to notice one person who did not fit the overzealous tone. Well, he didn’t really happen to notice. Rather he’d been staring at her throughout the entire night, watching her somber mood break through her happy façade. Not that he’d ever admit that to anyone. 

You were standing by yourself, but you weren’t secluded from the action. Rather, you were right in the middle of things, on the very edge of the dance floor, staring out at the masses of bodies swinging their partners around. Your arms were crossed over your chest, a defensive position that Fred had seen so many times in you before. 

He turned away and tried to ignore it. It wasn’t any of his business if you were upset. The two of you were barely even friends anymore. You had cut him out of your life so many years ago and never looked back. To this day, Fred still didn’t know why, and it killed him. 

He wanted to walk away. To go the other direction toward a beautiful guest wearing a flowing red dress, hair done up perfectly. The stranger would be the smart choice. A fun way to spend the evening, dancing around and snogging under moonlit trees. But, against his better judgement, Fred’s heart wouldn't let him leave. 

Sighing, Fred lifted his feet and made his way in the other direction, to the girl who couldn’t care less about him. 

You stood unmoving, except for a subtle sway to the music. People brushed by you, but you paid them no mind. You were too focused on something else. As Fred drew nearer, he was able to follow your line of sight to the people in question. The newlyweds. 

Fred bristled before softening slightly. Of course. This must be about George. Back at Hogwarts, Fred was positive you had the biggest crush on his brother. You were always tagging along with their jokes, even when they got you into huge trouble. You definitely spent more time alone with George than Fred, sharing whispers and stares at the expense of the older twin. He could never get George to break and tell him what you two talked about. George even took you to the Yule Ball in your 6th year. You had never looked as radiant as you did that night, except for maybe this moment. Fred wished he had asked you to dance at the ball, but he never worked up the courage to. He didn’t want you to internally grimace at the thought of dancing with the “lesser” Weasley twin when George was right there. 

In his recollection of memories, Fred hadn’t noticed how close he had gotten to you, and how you were no longer gazing at the couple dancing. You were now staring at him. 

“Did you need something?”

Fred was shaken out of his imagination, met with an annoyed glare but soft smile coming from you. His surprise was immediately replaced with his signature cocky grin, leaning his hand onto one of the wedding tables while keeping his gaze on you. Unfortunately, his hand accidentally dipped into a wine glass, but he quickly pulled it out and hoped you didn’t notice. You did. 

“Well, that’s not a very nice way to greet one of your oldest friends, now is it?” Fred wiped his wine-covered hand on his suit pants and slipped it into his pocket, pretending to be unbothered by his previous mistake. 

You turned your eyes away from him, once again gluing them to the dance floor. “I think it’s fitting, seeing as how you were creepily staring at me for about 5 minutes before I said something.”

Fred’s ears grew pink at the accusation. “I, umm, I didn’t realize it was that long. Or that you noticed. Sorry.” He bashfully rubbed the back of his neck, pretending to glance around at other guests who might interest him more. 

“You still haven’t answered me.”

Fred cocked his head to the side in question. 

“Why’d you come over here? Was there something you needed?”

“Ah, yes well,” Fred began smoothly, “I saw this darling beauty from across the tent and I just could not take my eyes off of her--”

“Fred,” you interrupted. You were looking at him again, your gaze piercing through him, forcing him to tell you the truth, to tell you everything about him. His fears, his hopes and dreams, what he had for breakfast this morning. He wanted to tell you it all. 

“The truth, please.”

Clearing his throat, and his mind of whatever thoughts just plagued him, Fred decided to be honest. You deserved that much. 

“You look like you need a hug,” he said, shrugging nonchalantly. 

Evidently, those were not the words you were expecting to hear. You were prepared with about a dozen quips to say in response to whatever cocky joke Fred was about to make. But he didn’t, and nothing could have prepared you for what he did say. 

“I--I need a what?”

“Sorry, have you lost your hearing or was I not loud enough? It’s definitely not the second; you’ve told me on numerous occasions that I have the biggest mouth of anyone you know.”

There it was. But it still made you giggle, relaxing and gravitating closer to your companion. 

“I heard you,” you said, “just wasn’t expecting that from you, I guess.”

Fred took a half step closer, visibly glad when you didn’t move away. “Wasn’t expecting me to have noticed your behavior, or wasn’t expecting me to care if I did?”

It took you a few seconds to respond. “Both.”

He let out a sound of understanding before you both averted your eyes, looking straight ahead. Occasionally, Fred would try to look at you using his peripheral vision, and you would do the same. It became a kind of game--just an awkward back and forth between two people who used to be so close, and were now so far apart.

You game ended when one of the wedding guests decided to clink their glass, beginning a chorus of high pitched chimes to echo throughout the room. You watched as George turned to find Angelina, running to her to give her a kiss so full of love and passion that it took everything Fred had not to shout out a joke and ruin the moment. He could do that next time. 

He noticed you stiffen at the kiss, presumably because it was just another reminder of what you couldn’t have. George. 

“You know, I always wanted to be a Weasley.”

Fred was surprised that you had spoken to him, and even more surprised about the turn the conversation had taken. 

“I grew up with you guys,” you continued, not waiting for Fred to respond. “Molly was like my second mother, even though she always liked Hermione and Harry a bit more than me.”

“Join the club,” said Fred, causing you to laugh loudly, a sound he hadn’t heard from you in ages. Godric, how he had missed it.

“It’s just…” you trailed off, not knowing if you wanted to be open with Fred, someone you hadn’t spoken to in years. Chances were, you wouldn’t keep in touch much after the wedding, so you might as well. What was there to lose? “It’s just...seeing Angelina, one of my best friends, dance around, wearing that ring, getting to be an actual Weasley. It’s...it’s making me a wee bit jealous.”

Fred watched you fidget with a bracelet on your wrist and decided to push his luck just a bit more. “And you’re wishing that it could be you wearing the ring, married to a certain Weasley gentleman?”

The shock was evident in your expression. “No, no, it’s not--I mean I never…” Sighing, you decided to come clean. “Yeah, I’ve maybe been harboring feelings for a certain twin for, oh I don’t know, my entire life. No biggie though, it’s totally fine that he never asked me out.”

The ginger beside you threw an arm around your shoulder, handing you a glass of wine in the process. “Drink. It makes everything better.”

You glared at him, but took the glass anyways, chugging it down in a few large gulps. “Another, please,” you demanded, and Fred obliged. 

You started to ease into Fred’s side, as soft and comforting as you remembered it to be, before realizing exactly what it was you were doing. “Fred, can I ask you something?”

“‘Course. You can ask me anything.” The absolute last thing Fred wanted to be doing at the moment was talking about your undying love for his twin brother, at his wedding no less, but he didn’t want to leave you alone. Not seeing you for so long had had a harsher effect on him than he thought, and he didn’t want to leave your side. 

Taking a deep breath and gathering your courage, you asked him the question that had been plaguing your mind for years. The one that ate you from the inside out and kept you tossing and turning at night. The reason you had to separate yourself from your love in the first place. “Why am I not good enough?”

Your voice broke a tiny bit, but a lot less than you had been expecting. A tear did happen to slip out, and Fred quickly wiped it away, his fingertip resting on your cheek for a moment too long. 

“Y/N, love, come here.” Fred pulled you into that hug he had talked about earlier, holding you closely to his chest. If he thought you were going to appreciate the gesture, he was wrong. You pushed him away softly, refusing to let any more tears fall. 

“I’m serious, Fred. W-Why am I not good enough? I’ve made it clear for years and yet...nothing. And not even a simple rejection. I could’ve handled that, y’know. If I got a simple no, I could’ve handled it and moved on. But I never did, and it’s killing me. Why am I not good enough?”

It killed Fred to see you this upset, and it hurt him even more to see that the anger was directed at him and not at George. It was his brother that broke your heart after all, not him. “You are good enough!” Fred said, with enough truth and force that a little part of you believed it. “You’re, you’re too good! You’ve been by our side from the beginning and haven’t left it since. Well, we haven’t seen you in years, but that’s probably because of--”

You nodded, confirming what he thought. Your heartbreak had driven you away. 

“But other than that,” he continued, “you’ve been like my third arm. Any guy would be crazy to give you up, you know that?”

 A tiny smile grew on your face, but was gone as soon as it had arrived. “The timing...the timing was just all wrong, wasn’t it?” you asked. 

Fred nodded, watching his brother and his wife greet guests and take pictures that were sure to be on the mantle in the burrow as soon as the wedding was over. “Yeah, I guess so. The prick should’ve asked you out sooner.”

“Oh I agree wholeheartedly, he is a prick,” you said, poking his arm, a gesture that slightly confused him. “So, I’m guessing there’s no chance of anything happening now? No sliver of hope that maybe this could work out?”

He hated that he would be the one to crush your dreams, but he couldn’t let you keep living in false hope. “Well,” he said, “the wedding bands are on and they both said ‘I do.’ Kind of hard to come back from that. I’m sorry.”

You froze, now more befuddled than you had been all night. “I...what?”

Before Fred could say anything you reached to grab his left hand, checking his ring finger for something you knew wasn’t there, but you had to be sure. 

“Wedding bands? What in the world do you--” Realization hit you like a brick, and you wanted to slap yourself. Or Fred. Either one. But preferably the latter. 

“Frederick, my dear love, who do you think we have been talking about this whole time?” you asked, voice genuine but also teasing. 

Fred didn’t know what you all of a sudden found so amusing, but he was already doubting himself and he didn’t want you to make fun of him for whatever he had done wrong. 

“Umm, well you said a Weasley, and then you said a Weasley twin. So I thought the answer was obvious.”

“Say it,” you demanded. “Who have we been talking about? Who am I in love with after years of unrequited feelings?”

He felt like he was walking into a trap, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He hesitated for a few seconds before your searing gaze forced him to answer. “George. We’re talking about my brother George.”

No sooner had his words left his mouth than your hand came up to slap his head. “You idiot! Are you serious right now?”

Fred stood flabbergasted, racking his brain for who else you could have been talking about. George was a Weasley twin. You said you were in love with a Weasley twin. Who else was there?

“It’s you, you big oaf!”

Oh. OH! There were two Weasley twins, and he was one of them. Which meant…

“You’re in love with me?!”

By this point, heads were turned to watch the scene and people were not-so-subtly whispering to their partners. 

You dragged a still surprised Fred through the crowd and out of the tents, finding a secluded enough area where you could talk. 

Fred’s brain had still not been caught up. “It’s me? You’re in love with me? But, but what about George?”

You furrowed your brow, wondering how Fred could have so easily mistaken your feelings for him as those for another. “What about George?”

“You’re in love with him!”

“I most definitely am not!”

“The Yule Ball!” he spat out. “You went to the Yule Ball with him when we were 16!”

“Yes,” you said calmly, “and you went with Angelina, but I don’t see you two getting married. We went as friends and I talked to him about you the entire night. In fact, most of the time when we hung out I was talking about you. Made him swear not to tell though. I was never good about expressing my feelings.”

Fred put a hand to his head, a growing throb threatening to overtake his senses. “But why were you so sad tonight? You wanted to marry George!”

“No,” you said patiently. “I was sad because Angelina and George’s relationship worked out the way I was wishing one between you and I had. They fell in love during school, dated a few years later, and now she’s a part of your family. I wasn’t wishing it was just me out there with your brother. I was wishing that it was our wedding.”

You blushed heavily and buried your face in your hands, embarrassed by your bluntness about your feelings. “Oh, Godric, I shouldn’t have said that, now it’s more awkward. I, umm, I should probably get going.”

Fred grabbed your wrist before you could leave, pulling you into his chest. His eyes were wide, mouth hanging slightly ajar as he gazed down at your muddled expression. 

“It’s me. I’m the one you love.”

He said it as more of a declaration rather than a question, but you could tell that he needed confirmation. 

“Of course, Freddie,” you said. “It’s always been you.”

His hand wasted no time in going to the back of your head, pulling your face into his and melding your lips together in your first kiss with Fred Weasley. After the shock wore off, you were hastily kissing him back, hoping against all hope that he wouldn’t pull back and proclaim what a stupid mistake this all was. But he never did. You kissed and kissed and kissed until you were the one who had to pull back in order to catch your breath. 

It took you both a few seconds to realize what had just happened, and for the first time you both were at a loss for words. “That was, umm…” you mumbled, trying to think of what to say. 

“I love you too.”

Fred’s words were rushed out of his mouth, voice deep ragged. “I mean, when you said it was me, not George, that you loved. I, well, I love you too. Always have. Guess I just thought that you had a thing for George and I had no chance. Pretty silly of me, huh?”

“Downright stupid of you,” you replied, giggling as he pushed you away with a bashful smile gracing his lips. 

“So,” he said quietly, inching closer to you once again, “is there a chance of anything happening now?” Fred repeated the words you had said earlier, making you smile wider than you had all night. 

“Depends,” you said. “Are you gonna get the courage to ask me out?”

Fred waited for a moment before answering. “How about,” he said, offering his arm out for you to link with yours, “we have that dance we never got at the Yule Ball. And then that date we never got after, and then that relationship we never got as well. Oh! And then that wedding, and then a dog, maybe a few kids, a big house in the country--”

“Woahhh, slow down buddy, you haven’t ever properly asked me!”

You took his arm and made your way back to where the music continued to blare and festivities raged on. 

“Y/N, love, may I have this dance?”

You pushed a strand of hair from his face, ruffling it up a little to give it that signature Fred Weasley style. 

“Of course, Freddie. And every dance after that.”

Tag List:

@famdomhideout @amourtentiaa

[allthingsfangirl101]

New Girl in Town–Link Larkin

Wattpad Request by porincess123

Corny Collins was the last person I'd thought would come and see me dance. I especially didn't expect him to offer me a job dancing on his show.

I started today after school, but I haven't told anyone yet. When people find out I'm dancing on the show, they're going to start getting all weird and act differently around me.

I gasped when I bumped into someone. He looked down at me, plastering a smirk that I bet got all the girls swooning.

"Sorry, little darlin'," he chuckled. "Hope I didn't dent your 'do."

"I'm fine," I shrugged, thinking nothing of it. His smile faltered for only a second before clearing his throat, winking at us, and leaving.

"OMG!!" Tracy and Penny giggled in sync as soon as he walked away.

"What?" I asked, shrugging.

"That was THE Link Larkin," Tracy said like it was something I should've known.

"So?" I asked with a slight scoff.

"Don't you think he's gorgeous?" Tracy sighed dreamily.

I looked over my shoulder to see him talking to his friend at his locker. I shrugged before looking back at them.

"He's not horrible," I said with a small laugh. I looked at them staring at me like I was crazy. "What?"

"He's Link Larkin," Penny said.

"So you've said," I chuckled.

"How are you so calm?" Tracy asked.

"He's just a teenager," I sighed. "So he's on that Corny Collins show. Big deal. He's still just a teenager. We go to the same school, we all have to suffer through an hour of physical education, and try to stay awake during algebra."

"But. . ."

"But he's. . ."

"Just a teenager," I said to interrupt their nervous stuttering.

I rolled my eyes as we walked to history. As we walked into class, we passed Link again. He saw me and sent me a wink before walking into the classroom across the hall.

                         * * * * *

I walked around backstage, following one of the PAs as she showed me around. We passed a few dancers, every single one of them giving me a curious look. All except one.

Amber Von Tussle.

When she first saw me, she glared at me with as much ice as she could. When Corny introduced me as their new dancer, her look to kill only intensified. I didn't think it could get worse until Corny announced that their next show would be mainly focused on me.

After rehearsal, I got to talking to a few of the other dancers. Their eyes widened when someone walked up behind me.

"So," Amber said in her 'holier than thou' voice she was famous for. "You're the new girl in town."

I took a slow breath before turning on my heel. My eyes glanced over to Link standing slightly behind her with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Seems like it," I said, making sure not to back down.

"Well," she laughed. "There's something you should know about how things work around here."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest, shifting my weight to one side.

"And what is that, Amber?" I sighed. She took a step towards me, wanting me to back down but I didn't. She cleared her throat, quickly recovering from not getting what she wanted.

"This show is mine," she said faking innocence. "I'm the show. If I say I want you in the back row, then that's where you'll be. If I want everyone on this show to ignore you at school, that's what they'll do."

"Really?" I scoffed. "So, it's not The Corny Collins Show? It's the Amber Von Tussle Show?"

"Exactly."

I rolled my eyes as I laughed. I quickly turned my smile into my Resting Bitch Face that I was famous for. I took a step towards her, getting in her face.

"No one would watch that show, sweetheart," I sighed. "And I would think twice before threatening me again. The next time you do, I won't keep in mind that your face is your job."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means don't threaten me unless you know you can win."

I sent her an innocent smile before turning on my heel and leaving. I couldn't hide the smirk as I heard their whispers.

                         * * * * *

I looked up, my breath getting caught in my throat when Link leaned against the locker next to mine.

"I thought The Nicest Kids In Town don't speak to each other at school," I sighed as I turned and opened my locker. "Unless you're in Amber's special circle."

"Y/N," he sighed. I grabbed my books and got ready to shut my locker, but he stopped me by gently grabbing my arm.

"I'm sorry about Amber," he sighed. "She's. . . Well. . . She's threatened by you."

"Why would she be threatened by me?" I scoffed as I slammed my locker shut harder than I needed to. I turned towards him and wrapped my arms around myself, leaning against my locker.

"She's been on that show longer than anyone," I said, looking down at my books and avoiding his eyes. "Hasn't she won Miss Teenage Hairspray the last three years?"

"So?"

I looked back up at him to see him smiling at me. "I still don't understand why she would be threatened by me," I mumbled.

"She's threatened by you because you're a talented dancer," he chuckled. "I would say you were even better than Amber when she first started."

"Link," I sighed, slightly clearing my throat. "You don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be nice to me."

"I'm not. . ."

"I know what Amber has been saying to everyone around my back," I said, looking away from him. "I know she's been saying that the only reason Corny hired me was because. . . He and I. . ."

"No one believes her," he said gently. I sent him a knowing look before rolling my eyes.

"Hey," he said, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "Amber was out of line when she started that rumor about you and Corny, but everyone knows that it's just because she's jealous."

"It doesn't matter," I said as I pulled my hand out of his. "Maybe this isn't worth it."

"Wait, what?"

"Being tormented by Amber isn't worth dancing on tv."

                         * * * * *

I walked into the studio the next day with my head down. I tightened my arms around myself when I heard Amber and her clique giggling.

"Seriously?" Another voice spoke up. I looked up to see Link walking over to Amber. "Leave her alone, Amber," he sighed.

"Why are you sticking up for her?" She scoffed.

"Because she's a good dancer and doesn't deserve you tormenting her because you're insecure with a new girl around."

I bit back a laugh when I saw her jaw drop. She stomped her foot and left. I glanced over at Link to see him smiling at me.

Throughout the day, Link constantly stood up for me whenever Amber started to make fun of me. Whenever she tried to get the others to laugh at me, Link would shut it down.

After rehearsal, I noticed him talking to her. I forced myself not to watch as she yelled at him and then stormed out. I glanced over and saw him running his fingers through his hair.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Amber and I broke up."

"Oh," I said under my breath. "I'm sorry, Link. I didn't mean to cause any. . ."

"It wasn't you," he cut me off. "It's been coming for a while now. She's too self-absorbed and only cares about her career. I was always second in her life and I couldn't take it anymore. It was only a matter of time."

"You don't deserve that," I said, nervously clearing my throat. I looked up at him, something changing in the way he was looking at me.

"What?" I asked. He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head.

"Nothing," he stuttered.

                         * * * * *

I walked down the hallway, immediately seeing Link at his locker. Ever since he broke up with Amber, things have been kind of weird between the two of us. To be honest, things really changed when he stood up for me. Before I could talk myself out of it, I walked over to him.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey," he smiled.

"I umm. . . I never said thank you for standing up for me," I finally got out. "Since you did that, she's left me alone. She's actually been nice to everyone."

"Glad I could help," he said, clearing his throat. I reached over and grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

"I'm serious, Link," I sighed. "You didn't have to stand up for me. Especially when you knew it would upset your girlfriend. I didn't mean to cause any problems with you and Amber. . ."

Link cut me off by pulling me into his chest and pressing his lips to mine. I didn't hesitate to start kissing him back. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck, getting into the kiss.

I let out a small moan as he broke the kiss. I looked into his eyes, both of us struggling to catch our breaths. He smiled as he tightened his arms around me.

"I like you," he whispered. "And I wouldn't take anything that happened back."

"I like you too," I whispered. "But. . ."

I took a shaky breath as I stepped out of his hold. He looked at me, trying to understand what I was doing as I stepped back and wrapped my arms around myself.

"We can't. . . What if. . . Amber isn't going to. . ."

"I don't care what Amber thinks," he said, cutting me off.

"What if she. . ."

"I don't care," he said again. "I like you, Y/N. And if she doesn't like us being together, then that's her problem and she needs to get over herself."

I bit my lip debating. I looked over his shoulder to see Amber and her clique walking around the corner. Her friend noticed Link and me first and then pointed us out. When Amber turned to us, I had an idea.

I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. I felt him smile against my lips as he started kissing me back. This time, I broke the kiss. I looked over his shoulder to see Amber staring at us with her jaw on the floor.

"If you don't care, neither do I."

[cherryobx]

I'm all yours//Rafe Cameron x reader

request: "Hii!! I love your writing! What if Rafe and Y/N have a fling, but he doesn’t make a move or show his motives, so she starts distancing herself from him. Later he finds out that she’s been going out with another guy (totally up to you to decide whether it’s obx character or fictional) and decides to have a conversation with her about what they are (he’s a liiitle too jealous and it makes her mad, but they work it out after a small fight). That’s it!! Hope you like it, have a great day🥰"

summary: Rafe realizes something when he hears that you're seeing someone

warnings: language, mentions of sex (but no smut!), FWB, angst

WC: 1.7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!)

He was never there when you woke up. It was like a tradition at this point. He always left without you noticing. Of course, some mornings you wished that he’d stay a little longer and just hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. But that was Rafe Cameron we’re talking about. It was nothing more than a friends with benefits situation. Although you wished it was something more. You’d never tell it to Rafe though. He’d just make fun of you for wanting something that was so out of your reach, something almost impossible.

After stretching a bit on your bed, you sat up and tried to rub the tiredness away from your eyes. Your eyes drifted to the alarm clock beside your bed. 7:32. Why had you woken up so early? You blamed it on the coldness of your bed and the sheets. After all it was just you in it.

You stood up, put on an oversized t-shirt and started picking up your clothes that had been scattered all over your bedroom the night before. You tossed them onto the bathroom floor and made a mental note to put them in the washing machine later.

Feeling your stomach grumble with hunger you walked into the kitchen and put two slices of bread into the toaster. You opened the fridge and took out the butter. Lately you had been obsessed with toast with butter. It was heavenly on mornings like these.

As soon as the toast was done, you spread some butter on them. You didn’t care enough to put them on a plate. Or you were just lazy. One of those reasons. As you were eating your toast, you scrolled on your phone, seeing all the pictures and videos from last night’s party. You had decided not to go and just stay home and watch a movie all by yourself. You actually treasured those moments. Rafe came over in the middle of the night and of course he was pretty hammered. You still slept with him though. How could you deny yourself such pleasure?

When you were finished eating, you sat on the living room couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. You felt pathetic, sad even. You were sorry for yourself. You had let Rafe crawl into your life, into your head, and now you couldn’t get him out. He was always on your mind.

“This has to stop,” you mumbled to yourself, as you took out your phone and texted the guy you had turned down a few days ago. He had asked you out but you declined because it felt wrong to go out with a guy that wasn’t Rafe. But now you realized that the smartest thing right now would be trying to forget about Rafe. He didn’t see you as nothing more than a friend, a hook-up.

He replied almost immediately which was a bit weird because it was 8 in the morning but you didn’t give it much thought. You agreed to go on a date with him in the evening.

As you were getting ready to go on the date, you got a text from Rafe, asking if he could come over tonight. You didn’t reply. It’s for the better, you thought.

The guy, Luke, picked you up at 7 p.m sharp and took you to out to eat. It was pretty romantic you were not going to lie.

“You’ve been living in Kildare your entire life? How have I not seen you before?” you asked before taking a bite of your food.

“It may be because I don’t really go to parties.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“You don’t? Then what do you do here? There’s really nothing to do here except parties and golf, if you ask me.”

“Well, mostly I just hang out with my friends, play golf, go fishing. You know, the usual stuff.”

“I’d get bored with that fast,” you laughed.

“Then what do you do here?” he asked.

“Umm, I go to parties, obviously, I’m not lame,” you said, sarcastically rolling your eyes. “But sometimes I surf.”

“You do? Isn’t that like a pogue thing?”

“So, sport is now a pogue thing? Yeah, I don’t label things like that. The whole pogue vs kook things is just pointless in my opinion.”

“If you say so.” He took a sip of his drink.

After dinner, you walked down to the beach and just took a stroll there. It was a beautiful sunset and you even took some pictures with him to remember that night.

“I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for not turning me down like I did you.” He had just brought you home and walked up to your front door.

“No problem. Who am I to say no to such a pretty girl.” The compliment made you blush.

“Also, thank you for paying tonight. I promise I’ll pay next time.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

“Yes. I mean if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Then it’s settled.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before entering your home and closing the door behind you. You were actually happy with how this whole thing turned out. You hadn’t thought about Rafe even once this whole evening.

When you stopped answering to Rafe’s texts and calls, he became confused. What was going on? Had he done something to upset you?

After a few weeks in the dark, he heard at one party that you were seeing someone. He felt this kind of tightness in his chest. It was a mix of emotions. Almost like anger but not really. He couldn’t put a finger on it why he felt like this. It was not like you were his girlfriend or anything. Although he liked the sound of that. Y/N, his girlfriend.

He left the party and came over to your place. He banged his fist on the door repeatedly. Je might’ve even woken up your neighbours with all the noise he was making.

“Rafe, what the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the night?” you asked, as you opened the door. You were wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. You looked adorable to him.

“Can we talk?”

“At 2 in the morning? No fucking way.” You started to close the door but he shoved his foot between the door and its frame.

“Y/N, please. I need to speak with you.”

“Then come back at a reasonable hour,” you huffed and rolled your eyes.

“This is a reasonable hour. Just let me in.”

You let out a sight but then opened the door for him. You walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water because your throat was feeling a bit dry. He followed you close behind.

“If you’re here for sex then you might as well just leave right now. I’m not in the mood.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I’m here just to talk to you?”

“You want an honest answer to that?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Not really.”

You took a sip from your glass and then placed it on the kitchen counter. “If you’re really here to talk then talk. I want to go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want you going out with that Luke you’ve been seeing.”

“How the fuck is that your business? I can go out with whoever I want. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. I know what’s best for you.”

You bitterly laughed. “Oh, you do now? Rafe, you don’t know shit.”

“He’s not a good guy for you.”

“And you know that how? He treats me better than you ever have. And that’s a fact. Keep your nose out of my business and go find some other girl to fuck. This,” you waved your finger between you two, “is over. I don’t want to see you anymore. Like ever again. So you might as well delete my number.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” The frustration within you was too much to handle as tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

“Because I love you, for fucks sake,” he admitted, yelling.

You were staring at him in shock. You were speechless and didn’t know what to say. Was this like some sort of cruel prank he was playing on you? Or was he serious? Could it be? It was hard to believe. Why would he admit it now, after all this time?

“I didn’t realize it at first. I was so caught up in myself and my problems. But when I heard you were seeing someone, I freaked out. I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I didn’t like the thought of you with someone else other than me. It didn’t seem right.”

He slowly walked closer to your, now sobbing, frame. He placed one of his hands on your shoulder and the other under you chin. He lifted it so you’d look him in the eye.

“If there’s a slight chance that you’re feeling like I do, please tell me. If not, I’ll leave right now and you’ll never have to even see me again.”

“I do,” you whispered, not being able to actually talk. Your emotions were overwhelming you as you broke down. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed his hand up and down on your back in a soothing manner.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here with you.”

You stood there for what felt like eternity, crying between his arms. When you had calmed down you pulled away a bit so you could look at him.

“You’re such an asshole. You know that, right?”

He nodded. He knew.

“But. I love you too. Always have been. I tried so hard to forget you. That’s why I started going out with Luke. So I could forget you for a couple of hours. And it worked. But as soon as I got home it was like he never existed. I thought about you. Only you.”

“Well, now I’m all yours.”

“That’s good to hear because I’m yours as well.”

***

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[wonwoonlight]

surprise | jeon wonwoo

A/N: hi everyone! It’s been somewhat long since the last I posted...something. this is requested by @thecutiepieme​ and this took waaaaaay longer than I would like it to be, but here we are! As usual, this becomes much longer than I thought and I tweaked a lot of details in this so I’m sorry if this isn’t up to your liking 😖 plus this is my first time writing actual angst and... I’m not sure if this is angsty enough. This isn’t spellchecked and such so please forgive me for any mistakes :( Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this 🖤 

➝ idol!Wonwoo x Reader

➝ word count: 6258 words.

➝ angst // idol!au

➝ warnings: mentions of cheating, umm.. anxiety?, self doubt? 

You didn’t think you signed up for this when you started dating Wonwoo.

A week. It has been a week since the last time you spoke to Wonwoo. You’ve been ignoring his texts since you told him you needed some time to yourself; away from him. You’re pretty sure he’d be on your door by day 3 had it not been for his busy schedule.

He didn’t accept it at first; he tried to call you every few hours, wanting to talk and all that until you eventually picked up. You don’t even remember half the things he said because you weren’t in a good state. In the end, you said you need some time by yourself and you will call him once you’ve calmed down—which is taking longer than you’ve expected.

You know you’d be too emotional if you were to talk to Wonwoo right away, which is why you asked for some time alone to begin with. It is a big deal for you, and if you start talking with your train wreck of emotions, you know it would not end up pretty.

To be completely honest, you’re not sure what you’re doing; are you running away like this? Does this mean you don’t trust Wonwoo as much as you thought you did? Is this a product of insecurity? Is it a good choice to be away from your boyfriend at times like this? Should you have stuck together instead?

All sort of thoughts has passed your mind for the whole week; which isn’t helping you at all. The one time you decided to go against your timid nature and surprise your boyfriend instead of asking him to make sure if it’s okay to come to the practice room, this just has to happen.

You burry your face on your pillow, sighing for the nth time that day when the bell rings followed by a series of knocking on your door. Maybe if you pretend like you’re not home whoever that is would go away.

The person wouldn’t stop, though. So, you stand up from your bed and check yourself in the mirror, trying to see if you’re presentable enough. When you decide you don’t look as pathetic, you walk to your front door and open the door, not even bothering to check from the intercom.

“Can we talk? Please?”

Jeon Wonwoo’s here.

It was a week ago; your work had ended early for once and you decided to roam around the night market to get something to eat.

Passing by a snack stall, your mind wandered to the 13 guys currently in the practice room (according to Wonwoo’s text a few hours ago, at least), and you wondered if you should buy some and drop it off at the company.

You’re usually reluctant to do things impulsively; even little things like buying food, for example, because you’re afraid they already have food and yours would go to waste. Wonwoo often reminds you that it’s okay; that people are usually always thankful and the element of surprise is nothing bad. Remembering his words, you decided to just go with it because it’s just snacks, right? Those guys eat like there’s no tomorrow, anyway.

Just to be sure that they’re still in the practice room, you had texted Minghao subtly asking if they’re still there. When he said they’d be there for at least another hour, you immediately bought the food and quickly made your way to the company.

The original plan was to just drop the food in the receptionist, ask for their help to deliver the food because you didn’t want to bother them, then you make your way home. It was enough that they knew it’s from you; you didn’t need to be there.

When you arrived, though, the desk had been empty and when you asked the security (who was already familiar with you), he instead said that you should just deliver the food yourself. You hesitated at first, but you couldn’t possibly make the security leave his post to deliver food, could you?

So, you thanked him and made your way to the practice room. Maybe you could greet them and quickly leave so you wouldn’t disturb their practice.

Thankfully, when you got out of the elevator, you immediately met with one of the dance trainers.

“Oh? Hi. Are you here to see Wonwoo?” She greeted you in surprise, recognizing your face.

“Ah, not exactly,” you said embarrassedly. “I’m just here to drop some snack for the boys before making my way back home. I won’t be long, I promise!”

The trainer laughed at you, shaking her head. “You can stay, you know? Practice is about to end but we just have to discuss a few things after.”

You shook your head at her. “No, it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to interrupt. Do you want some food, too?” You offered, showing her the plastic bag.

“Ah, thank you. I’m gonna go up to get some snack myself, though. 13 mouths are a lot, they can take them all,” she joked, entering the elevator.

You grinned at her, knowing what she meant. “I’ll go first then,” you bowed and she nodded.

You knocked at the door, peeking through the window glass on the door; there were noticeably less of them in the room. Wonwoo wasn’t there, you noticed. It’s okay, though. You just wanted to drop off food, after all.

When you opened the door, showing only your head, Chan was the first one to notice you.

“Hey!! Why are you here!” he said, sounding more shocked than happy. For some reason, you could detect the edge in his voice and you could feel anxiety rushing in; were you disturbing them just as you thought you would? Was this a bad idea after all? Should you have just left the food upstairs?

At Chan’s voice, the rest turned to the door, spotting you. “Oh? What brings you here?” Jeonghan said with a smile, his voice calm as he approached you. But even he, too, sounded unsure in your ears.

“I… just…”

“Hey, she can come anytime if she wants,” Minghao interrupted the both of them, probably noticing your discomfort. “Did you come to bring this to us? Is that why you texted me?” he pointed at the bag in your hand, your hands tightly holding it.

“Ah… yes… Enjoy them, okay?” you nodded hesitantly before giving it to Minghao. “I will be on my way, now. I hope you guys won’t end too late again,” you said, trying to escape right away before your head started to think too much again.

“Are you not going to see Wonwoo?” Minghao said, genuinely asking. Why he sounded concerned, you’re not really sure.

You took a quick glance behind him, scanning the room. There were only Chan, Jeonghan, Minghao, Jihoon, Hansol, and Soonyoung; some of them looked somewhat pissed. You guessed you chose the wrong time to come, there might be some kind of problem before you arrived hence the tense atmosphere in the room.

You shook your head and smiled hesitantly, waving your hand a little at Jihoon, Hansol, and Soonyoung who gave you tired smiles.

“It’s okay. I just wanted to drop off food, anyway,” you started, eyes focused on the ground as your hands busy playing with each other. “I can see him some other day. Seeing you guys are more than enough. Tell him I said hi, okay?”

Minghao handed the bag to Chan before hugging you a little, thanking you for the food. “I’ll walk you out, okay?” he said, arm still around your shoulder as if trying to calm you down. How did he know you’re panicking inside, you’d never know.

Honestly, if there’s anyone who makes you calm down other than your boyfriend it’s Xu Minghao. Even before you were as close to him as you are now, Minghao has always radiated calmness and you’re never not comfortable with him.

“Eh, no, it’s okay. Aren’t you guys taking a break? Just rest here, I’ll be fi—”

“Oh, who’s this?” someone interrupted.

You turned to the voice, not expecting what you’re about to see.

It was a girl you had never seen in your life. A glamorous, rich looking girl who you’re pretty sure wasn’t one of the Seventeen’s staffs. Your gaze wandered to her arms who were clinging to someone else. Then you looked up to see Wonwoo beside her, looking at you in shock, his mouth opening and closing. Behind them was Mingyu, unsure what to do.

“Is this your girlfriend, Hao?”

You could feel his hand gripping your shoulder, you turned to him and then looked back at the other who didn’t look happy at all. You genuinely didn’t know what to think or feel, but you were sure if Minghao hadn’t been holding you, you wouldn’t be standing straight, still.

“I told you not to call me that.” Your head snapped back at Minghao, surprised to see him glaring not only at the girl but also at Wonwoo. You’d never actually witnessed him rising his voice at someone and he sounded downright pissed.

The girl just shrugged, not even seemingly hurt. “So, is she your girlfriend?”

You were about to deny when Minghao just grabbed your hand and dragged you with him to the elevator. “None of your business,” he had said before bolting off.

You didn’t look back, following Minghao and missing the distressed look on Wonwoo’s face as the elevator closed.

The ride in the elevator had been silence, Minghao was still holding your hand though you knew he’s doing it for you. You stared blankly at the elevator door, not sure about what you had just witnessed.

“I will take you home, okay?” he said gently, breaking the silence.

The elevator dinged and you slowly took your hand off from Minghao. You looked up at him smiling sadly. “No, it’s okay. Your practice hasn’t ended, right? I met the trainer when I arrived.”

“Please. I don’t want my friend to be alone in this state. I’m sure the others would cover for me, especially Jeonghan and Soonyoung.”

You let out a sigh, looking down at your feet. You’re genuinely lost, now. It didn’t hit you right away when you saw some unknown girl holding on to Wonwoo’s arm as if it was the most natural thing for her to do. As if she had always been holding him close to her. As if that very arm hadn’t been around your body just a few days ago, holding you close to his chest as his mouth dropped kisses at the top of your head.

It was then when Minghao took your hand back and guided you slowly to the back door of the company, making your way down the basement as he silently thanked Jun for taking too long in the bathroom earlier that afternoon that he had to wait for him, so they could drove together to the company by his car.

He made you sit down on the seat near the door as he took out his phone, calling Chan to ask him bring his bag to the parking lot basement.

Not 5 minutes later, Chan appeared near the stairs, Minghao’s bag in his hand. He took a glance at you, currently staring into spaces, your eyes empty. The younger guy genuinely felt bad, then. He wished he could help you in any way but he knew Minghao would be a much better company for you.

“They’re fighting upstairs,” Chan whispered just in case, even though it was obvious to him you’re too distressed to process any thoughts. “We actually thought it is good that you take her away. Wonwoo was going to follow but… you know. Then Seungcheol appeared, Jeonghan told him what happened, and… yeah.”

The older guy sighed, knowing this would happen someday. “I’ll take her home, then. I’m not sure when I’d get back to the dorm.”

Chan turned to you again, “Take care of her, then. I know you’re one of her closest friends between us but she’s a precious friend to us all.”

Minghao nodded, understanding him, then he told Chan to make his way back up. Chan walked to you, though, making his presence known and you looked at him in surprise, not even noticing when he arrived.

“Don’t… be too sad, okay?” he tried to smile comfortingly.

You let out a small sigh as you forced a smile at him. “Thank you, Chan.”

“See you soon?”

You didn’t even have it in you to answer.

It was the most disheartening car ride Minghao had ever felt in his life. You had kept your head down the whole drive, your hair covering your face. He’s pretty sure he had heard you sob a few times.

He didn’t comment, though. He just let you be as he put the tissue box on your lap, which you’re really thankful for.

You expected him to drop you off and leave. So, when he turned to the parking lot instead of the lobby, you knew you’re in for a night of emotional roller coaster ride.

The both of you didn’t speak until you’re in the comfort of your apartment. Minghao asked you to wash up first, change into something comfortable as he made some tea for the both of you.

When you came back out to the living room, Minghao was sitting in the sofa, looking at his phone with a frown gracing his face.

“Is everything okay, Hao?” you asked softly he barely even heard.

The guy turned to you; his frown immediately vanished. “Oh? Yeah… Yeah.”

You sat down next to him, taking the mug he had offered to you. Taking in the warmth from the hot tea, you looked down at the swirling water.

“It’s mint tea,” he offered. “Wonwoo… once said it’s your comfort tea.”

You let out a soft ‘ah’, your heartbeat skipped at the mention of his name.

As you put the mug down, Minghao started speaking again. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to wait for Wonwoo?”

Minghao didn’t expect you to tear up that quick.

“I… I don’t know, Hao,” you sobbed into your hands. “He’s been bombarding my phone since earlier and I don’t think I can face him yet because I’m too emotional right now? But does this mean I’m avoiding him? Should I just listen to him? What even is happening, Hao?”

He took the cue to explain to you, then.

He caressed your head softly, trying to calm you down first before he spoke. “I’m going to tell you whatever I think is necessary for you to know, okay? This is your and Wonwoo’s problem and if there’s any details I leave out regardless of why, should be up to him to explain to you.”

You nodded, trying calm a little.

“That girl is… one of the BOD’s niece,” he sighed again. “We have met her a few times before, nothing big. Maybe once or twice a year because she asked for a backstage pass. The CEO said she’s a fan, and because her uncle has a seat in the director board, sometimes she shows up and acts however she likes. We’ve never liked her to begin with because she’s your typical spoiled rich girl, but we can’t exactly tell her to go away either. We thought it should be fine, let’s just tolerate her, it’s not like we’re gonna see her every day, anyway. And then about two months ago suddenly she started coming a lot and... this happened.”

You kept quiet, your arms hugging your knees as you tried to process what he had said so far.

“Two months…” you whispered more to yourself than to your friend.

It is clear what Minghao’s trying to say: Wonwoo wasn’t cheating on you. And you got that. You got that since the beginning. You never thought he was; but it was so frustrating knowing this had been going on for at least two months and he didn’t even say anything to you. Did he doubt you would understand?

“I… don’t know what sort of thoughts are going through your mind right now but, please, don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? None of this happened because of something you do.”

You gave a small smile at Minghao, not even saying anything.

“I know you doubt yourself sometimes. There is a reason why we’re friends after all, isn’t there? I get it, I really do. I know sometimes you think maybe Wonwoo deserves better, maybe you’re not enough. But that’s not the case. I’ve never seen Wonwoo as happy as he is with you and that girl has never brought a smile to his face even once. So, before you started doubting yourself, I’m already here to stop those thoughts from coming.”

It sucked, to be honest. When someone understood you so well that they managed to get through your mind without you speaking at all, sometimes it felt like they’re hitting right where it hurt. But that was what you needed after all, wasn’t it?

You moved to hug Minghao, thanking him for being there for you even when you said you’d rather be alone. You knew those things Minghao said… they’d all start to haunt you again once Minghao went back. But at least for now, you’re okay. That should be enough.

After a few more hours of making sure you’re okay (despite the few sudden tear works), he decided to get back to the dorm before it’s too late. You hugged him once again, and he rested his chin on top of your head, once again reminding you not to doubt yourself.

That night, as you laid in your bed trying to sleep, Wonwoo’s name popping out in your phone again and again brought tears to your eyes until you fell asleep, too tired from crying too much.

You walk to the kitchen, getting Wonwoo’s favourite mug and then pouring water into it. Wonwoo sits on the sofa; you could see him fidgeting a little even from a far, his hand keeps on coming up to fix his glasses that’s already in place.

Setting down his glass in front of him, you sit next to him, keeping your silence.

Looking down at your hands, you start playing with your fingers, waiting for Wonwoo to speak first.

Wonwoo looks at you sadly, noticing the obviously growing dark circles under your eyes. It takes everything in him not to just pull you into his embrace and kiss you senseless. But he knows none of that would be right if he doesn’t fix this first.

He moves closer to you, whispering your name softly. You could’ve sworn you almost cried then; you miss him so much—simply hearing your name from his lips brings that reaction out of you. No wonder you’ve been a walking zombie these past few days.

“Are you… feeling better now?” he starts, leaning closer to look at you properly; his heart breaking at how tired you look.

You want to say yes, you really do. But, to be honest, you aren’t. You’re not better at all. Spending time alone just means you’re letting your imagination runs wild even though Wonwoo texts you at least once a day, and Minghao and the others message you from time to time to make sure you’re okay. You’re surrounded by your own voice, and even though you know your thoughts are simply just thoughts, it doesn’t help at all.

“What do you think, Woo?” You ask back, meeting his eyes for the first time in a week.

Wonwoo hesitantly brings his hand up to cup your cheek, trying to see if you’d refuse his touch. When you simply let him be, he unknowingly let out a sigh of relief before caressing your cheek gently with his thumb.

How could he let this be? How did he think all was going to be okay? How could he did this to you; the person he loves most?

After a minute or two of complete silence, Wonwoo reluctantly put down his hand before starting. “I’m sorry I suddenly show up at your door. I know you said you needed time alone but it’s been a week and I’m just… really worried. Plus, I don’t have any schedule for at least the next three days so—”

“It’s okay, Woo. It’s about time we talk, anyway,” you interrupt him. You almost smiled then; Wonwoo always rambles when he’s nervous, an endearing treat of him that a lot of people don’t have the luxury to see.

Seeing how hard your nail is digging through your palm, Wonwoo takes your hand in his, opening your clenched fist as he slowly intertwined his fingers through yours. God, how much he misses this: your hand in his, your body next to him—sharing warmth even through this cold atmosphere.

“I’m really… really sorry.” He starts speaking. “You don’t deserve to be treated that way and be thrown into confusion like this. I’m really… really sorry.”

You hum a little, not sure how to answer that. Wonwoo is genuine, you know that much. But a simple sorry is hardly enough even though you miss him like crazy and you could’ve just flung yourself into him right there and then.

“Soonyoung… punched me in the guts, you know?” Your look up at him, suddenly concerned.

Your boyfriend smiles a little, shaking his head. “I deserve it, it’s okay. I’m sure he wanted to punch me in the face but he couldn’t do it because we have schedules and we can’t afford that.”

You open your mouth, about to talk when Wonwoo shushes you, “I will talk first and try to explain everything, okay? If there’s anything you’re still not sure about after, I will answer everything.”

After he sees you nod in understanding, Wonwoo let out a heavy breath, his grip on your hand tightening.

“I know Minghao has told you the gist of it, but I feel like I needed to tell you all of it from the beginning, yeah?”

You don’t say anything, your thumb simply rubs comforting circles at the back of his hand as if encouraging him. Funny how things work.

“She… Her name’s Hyerin. Her uncle is one of the directors so sometimes she uses her way to do everything she wants. She said she’s been a fan of us since a long time ago. She always asks for backstage passes everytime we have concerts here or in Japan but that’s it, we don’t see her a lot outside that. She has attitude problems, to be frank, and we really wouldn’t associate ourselves with her had it not been for the company’s order. We couldn’t tell her to piss off just like that even though she’s annoying.”

Wonwoo takes a deep breath, continuing. “And then about two months ago? I think? She started coming to the practice room every few days, saying she just wanted to see us practice and she wouldn’t disturb us. We were uncomfortable, obviously. And not only us, the trainers also felt uncomfortable. Seungcheol tried talking to the higher up, saying she’s a hinder to our practice. But the most that they could do was made her stop coming at practice time, which just made her come in when she knew we were taking a break. Seriously, no one liked her. Even Seokmin almost cursed on her face once because she was that annoying.”

You could feel the grip on your hand getting tighter again—Wonwoo’s agitated.

“After that, she started to get even more daring. I guess it clicked for her that we couldn’t really do anything about her. For some reason, she always tries to latch to me. I think it’s because I’m quiet so she didn’t think I’d push her away. I did, though. I told her I’m not comfortable and I already have a girlfriend,” he suddenly stops, his frown deepening. “But she said she doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter, and it’s not like she’s asking me on a date or anything.”

“Our managers said to just bear with it, she’s gonna be bored in a while. I didn’t want to make a problem so I tried my best to avoid her though when she does catch me, she’d always latch to me like… you saw the other day… and then it got worse. She started asking me to accompany her here and there, I always refused, saying I can’t afford getting caught and I’m not comfortable going out with her alone. She said we’re just friends and no one would find out anyway. I kept on refusing until she was so annoyed that she played the uncle card. So, the company said it’d be better if I were to go with her at least once so she wouldn’t make problems, that her uncle would make sure no harm would be done. So… I did. Once. That afternoon when the whole thing happened.”

Wonwoo stops, trying to see how you’d react. You bite down your lip, still unsure how you feel about this whole thing. Wonwoo is trapped, you understand. But just because you understand doesn’t mean it’s any less painful.

His thumb caresses the back of your hand, as if asking you to listen a bit more, as if asking your mind to stop wandering elsewhere. He whispers repeated apologies and you can feel yourself tearing up at how desperate he sounds.

Taking a deep breath, Wonwoo continues after making sure you’re okay. “That day when I returned to the dorm, Minghao and Soonyoung were so pissed that they lashed out on me and Soonyoung brought you up, asking if you knew about this whole thing. I said no, you don’t, I didn’t think it was going to turn this big, and I knew you were stressed because you had this big project from work and often worked late hours then. I didn’t want to add to your worry. They got even more angry at me. They had been telling me to let you know since the beginning but I was… stupid. I genuinely thought it would just pass. I couldn’t even say anything. They were right and I thought I’d tell you after your project’s finished. Then… it happened. We were having a break when she suddenly came, dragging me away from the practice room. Mingyu followed us, just in case. And then when I said I needed to go back to the practice room, she insisted on coming with us and… yeah. That night, at the dorm, Seungcheol decided it was time to address this issue, so we waited for Minghao to come back before we did. Soonyoung was so mad that he punched me; saying all sort of things about how…”

Wonwoo chokes a little, surprising you. “How… I’m basically cheating on you and it was good that Minghao was there for you when I couldn’t.”

It is your turn to tighten your hand in his now, you know Soonyoung has always been protective towards you but you never imagined it would come to that extend. Just like any other human being, you get that Jeon Wonwoo, too, has his insecure moments; moments when he thinks he’s not good enough and he never does good.

“I… at the time I really believed it, you know?” Wonwoo looks down, ashamed; his voice barely a whisper.

“Won—”

“I… I thought Soonyoung was right and I know it was all my fault and… remembering how dejected you look in Minghao’s arm it hit me how big of a mess I have made and this week has been so shitty and I miss you so much and I—”

“Shh…” You scoot closer to your boyfriend, pulling his head into your neck and his arms automatically wrap around your waist to hug you close. “Calm down, okay?” You remind him, your hand going up and down on his back as you look up to the ceiling of your apartment, trying to hold back your tears.

You’re sure you’ve never seen Wonwoo being so openly emotional as right now, and as much as this is supposed to be Wonwoo comforting you, it’s hard to let him be when he’s being like this.

Wonwoo does not cry. That’s just the kind of person he is. He doesn’t think crying isn’t “manly”, whatever that means, but Wonwoo just doesn’t cry a lot to the point he says he’s envious that you seem to cry easily, that it seems… comforting.

Even right now, he’s just staying there on the crook of your neck, his breath heavy as he tries to calm down. He isn’t crying but he really feels like it would be better for his emotion if he is.

He looks up at you after a few more seconds, his eyes meeting yours; the pair of eyes that he loves the most—ones that’s currently blurred by tears. You blink continuously, trying to push the tears back.

Wonwoo then sits up straight, trapping your face between his delicate hands.

“I love you so much, you know?” He whispers, chanting your name like a charm. “I can’t afford to lose you.”

“Why… Woo?” You ask finally. “Why did you think I’d rather worry about this now rather than before? Do you not trust me?”

His heart breaks; at the question, at how small your voice sounds, at how you sound like you’re holding back a sob, at how tired your usually twinkling eyes look.

“No… You know it’s never about trust, baby,” he says, his eyes just as sad if not more than yours. “I genuinely didn’t think it would turn this big and I just didn’t want to add to your burden at the time. I know how stressful that project had been for you and I didn’t want to complain about some annoying girl when you barely even have time to sleep.”

Another sigh. You take his hands off your face, holding them on your lap. “Were you ever going to tell me—at all?”

“Yes. I thought she would be gone before your project’s done and I would tell you then. But things got bigger and the members, too, kept on pushing me to tell you so I was stuck but that… isn’t any excuse. I was wrong and I should’ve told you from the very beginning.”

You bite down on your lip again, looking at your hands.

“Look at me, please?” he pleads, his voice so soft you’re sure you wouldn’t have heard him if you hadn’t been so close to him.

“Baby… please…”

When you look up at him, your sight once again blurry because of your tears, Wonwoo gentlybrushes his thumbs on the skin underneath your eyes, making your eyes close as your tears finally escape.

He pulls you into his chest, embracing you as he tells you to stop holding back your tears—that it’s okay to cry. He caresses your hair, whispering in your ear how much he’s sorry and he’ll try to fix this as soon as possible if you’d let him. He can’t believe he had let himself make you cry this hard because of something as dumb and as avoidable as this.

Once you’ve calmed down enough, you pull away from him, taking some tissue near you.

Wonwoo hands you his mug, telling you to have some water. He looks at you with worry, it always concerns him every time you cry no matter the reason behind it; knowing this time it’s because of him makes it worse.

“I just…” you start, your voice breaking. “For once I wanted to surprise you, you know? You always tell me that it’s okay, that I don’t have to make sure all the time, that sometimes it’s okay to be impulsive. And when I finally gathered the courage to do it…”

That’s when it hits Wonwoo hard, that he knows he’s messed up even bigger than he thought he has. You’ve always been timid by nature and the one time you won against that, he did this to you—he, who dared to call himself your boyfriend, did this to you.  

Jeon Wonwoo has always been quiet but he’s never been as speechless as he is right now. He honestly feels like punching himself in the face.

It is when you look at him with shock and eyes full of worry, your small hands holding his face, that Wonwoo realizes he’s tearing up. He quickly brushes off his tears, gently pulling your hands down before trapping you into his embrace once again—this time more for himself than for you.

“I know this can’t possibly undo everything that I have done, but I’m really, truly sorry,” he says, you could hear his heart beating loudly. “I know I’ve messed up but I didn’t know I’d ever do this to you. Please don’t… don’t think that was a wrong decision, okay? You did great by trying to surprise me despite how it all went. I’m so, so proud of you and I hope this wouldn’t make you doubt your good heart ever again, hm?”

You nod, though you’re sure it would be hard to gather the courage again. When you try to pull away a little so you could see him, Wonwoo holds you tighter.

“Woo?” you call him, your voice mumbled by his chest.

“I’m really… really sorry,” he says, his nose buried in your hair.

You try to pull away once again, this time Wonwoo lets you, his eyes boring into yours the moment you look at him.

“I’m not going to say that it’s okay because we both know it’s not,” you start; Wonwoo nods, agreeing with you.

“This isn’t going to sound pretty but even if you’re not actually cheating on me, I feel like you basically cheated my trust, Woo. And it’s painful. Hearing you talk about this girl, how she held on to you and how she made her way into making you do her bidding… I know you don’t have a say in it, I know it’s hard for you just like it is hard for me… But that doesn’t make me feel any less hurt.”

You exhaled deeply, your fingers automatically playing with Wonwoo’s out of habit. “I love you, you know?” you say, your voice breaking once again, and Wonwoo honestly feels like the worst person to exist.

“I love you so… so much. But, sometimes things like this happen because you’re an idol and I don’t know if I’m strong enough if this ever occurs again? I thought I know what I was getting into when I started dating you but, obviously, I don’t.” you laugh bitterly and Wonwoo can his heart cracking at the sound of it.

He’s not sure where this is going and, to be honest, you aren’t either. You just think at the moment, it would be better to be honest with him about whatever you’re currently feeling even if it’s not pretty. If there’s anything you both need at the moment, it’s honesty.

“I don’t… I don’t want to break up with you, Woo. I really don’t.” You turn to him, seeing him visibly relieved. “But what if this sort of things happens again? What if something happens and you think you don’t want to worry me again, Woo?”

“If you’d rather me be honest with you since the beginning no matter the state you’re in… I’ll do that. I won’t try to be that guy who thinks he knows what’s best ever again,” he says, desperately holding on to your hands.

“I… don’t think as of now we’re both in a good state to be discussing about what we should do after this, to be honest,” you tell him. You could feel your head spinning from crying, and frankly, you can feel Wonwoo getting tired too from the emotional ride.

Wonwoo isn’t sure what you mean by that, so when you stand up, one of your hand latching on to his, he follows you as you make your way to the bedroom. To be completely honest, though, Wonwoo doesn’t know whether this means he is welcome to join you or not.

“I’m tired, Woo,” you say, looking up at him as you sit on your bed; your hand is still holding on to his as Wonwoo stands in front of you.

“Do you want to rest first? We can continue this later.” His hand softly caresses the top of your head.

You nod at him, pulling him in to the bed. “Nap with me?”

Wonwoo finally lets out a genuine smile for the first time that week, glad that at least for now, your relationship isn’t in danger. He lays down beside you, pulling up the blanket over the two of you before his left arm turns into your pillow and his right arm rests around your waist.

His gaze on you is gentle but firm, as if he’s observing every inch of your face, copying them into his mind. How much he misses you, he can never tell. He pulls you closer, not wanting to spend any more second away from you.

He rests his cheek on the top of your head, his hold suddenly tightening the slightest bit. “We’ll be fine, right?” he whispers, hesitant.

With your eyes closed and your head firmly planted on the crook of his neck, you nod. “Yeah. We have to be.”

[snxxiao]

Your Fall | Tsukishima Kei (feat. Yamaguchi Tadashi)

—Pairing: Tsukishima x f! reader, Yamaguchi x f! reader (kinda, not really)

—Summary: When you were head over heals for his best friend, how was Tsukishima meant to tell you his real feelings? 

—Content: angst, fluff, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, unrequited love, pining, everyone is really bad at emotions, drinking (of age), mentions of vomit/nausea, innocent! reader, college party, heartbreak, heated make out sessions, a bit of groping, young love, clueless (read: idiot) everyone, corruption kink if you squint,  slow burn (?), yams and tsuki are kind of ooc, loss of innocence? (kinda idk), walking in on two people doing the deed, cussing!!, virgin! reader, possessive! Tsukishima, tsuki is a little out of a perv?, very very loose discription of a panic attack if you squint real hard, vi I think that’s it?? Tell me if I’m missing something :)

—WC: 8.5K 

—Notes: first full blown one-shot for this blog!! Woo!! It’s not even nsfw, idk how I managed to do that. I just got into an angst reading mood and decided to write this so here we are! I’m still not fully happy with it, but I never really like the things I write so it’s okay :). I’m not happy with the ending, either, so at some point. I might come back and fix it. Umm,, oh! There will be a nsfw part 2 at some point called “winter”. I was originally going to add it here, but by the time I finished the main story, I realised it was already 8k (plus I didn’t really know how to include it bc I hate when smut is just thrown into a fanfic without incorporating it to the plot) and decided just to include it in another part :) when it’s finished I’ll like it bother here and on my Masterlist :) have a nice day!! Sorry if this was bad!!

—Masterlists <3

Yamaguchi was an easy man to love. You knew that very well. How exactly couldn’t he be? With his big puppy-dog eyes and his warm heart to match, how was anyone meant to not fall for him? 

He was the type to carry around hair ties or pads just in case you needed them. The type to always offer up his jacket when you were cold.  Not to mention the freckles- oh my god weren’t his freckles just the cutest thing? He was the perfect man. You knew that, of course you did.

You had been nursing a crush on him since you first made it into Karasuno. You had bumped into the then second year on your very first day. You had somehow managed to get lost enough to end up in the second-year hallways, and he, being the oh-so-kind gentleman he was, helped you back to class.

Back then it was just a crush, puppy-dog love if you wanted to call it that. To be honest, you even followed him around like a lost puppy. But you couldn’t help it, you were just so enamored by his being. All logical thoughts didn’t matter, only those surrounding your senior did, and that was okay. Of course it was. 

Ever since that day, you did everything you could to force your way into his tight nit friend group- even if that meant having to put up with the berates of Tsukkishima Kei. You just wanted to be around Yamaguchi in any way you could, and if that meant putting up with the mongrel that stole your food and called you an idiot, you would take it. It was all worth it for Tadashi. 

He was like spring- the warmth, the happiness, the new beginnings. It was amazing. 

To everyone else, your crush on him was obvious. Whenever you were around him, whenever he was giving you the slightest bit of attention, your cheeks would always become flushed. Your words would stutter. You’d give him gifts you that you didn’t seem to give anyone else. Not to mention how you would go all out for valentines day, spoiling him with homemade chocolates and any gifts you could find. 

How could everyone not notice when it was so very obvious?

But, as stories like these go, it wasn’t obvious to him. He just thought you were nice. Maybe shy like him! You guys could understand each other because you were both so timid, must’ve been one of the reasons you were always around him and Tsukki, right? You must’ve been too nervous to make friends with anyone in your own grade. He didn’t mind, he liked your company. He hoped you guys would stay friends even after high school. You were a kind, calming personality to be around- a perfect comparison to Tsukki. 

He was naïve, you both were. 

Of course, he didn’t know about your feelings.

Tsukkishima, on the other hand, was the first person to notice. How could he not? No other girls really gave his best friend the attention that you did. None of them brightened at the slightest amount of physical affection from his friend. None of them made food or brought snacks to him. Obviously, he made fun of your antics, how could he not? You looked so stupid with your ears pink, your voice stuttering.

You were especially cute when he was teasing you, how your personality did a 180-degree flip for him. He got to see the side of you that you never let Yamaguchi see out of fear that he wouldn’t find you appealing. The side that was quick-witted and loud while still managing to maintain an air of innocence. The side that would surly make Yamaguchi turn his head up at the idea of even dating you. It was the same side that made Tsukkishima actually like to be around you. He loved your reactions; they were always so funny. How could he stop himself from teasing you? Especially when Yams was around.

Tsukkishima would never admit that he found you cute though- anytime the thought crossed his mind he’d push it away and shun it. You weren’t cute, just annoying, and stupid like everyone else. It wasn’t his fault that you gave amazing reactions. That’s all he wanted- a reaction out of you. Not for you to pay attention to him, to get your attention away from Yamaguchi for one goddamn minute of your life. Not for you to let go of that faux, overly shy persona that you had when it was his best friend around. Of course, it wasn’t that.

Thankfully, much to Tsukkishima’s delight (even if it was delight he was not yet willing to admit to), as you grew closer to the two men, you let the personality you had around Yamaguchi falter a bit more. The longer you three stayed friends, the more comfortable you must’ve felt. Yamaguchi didn’t really pick up on any difference, but Tsukkishima, whether it was consciously or not, did.

He noticed how your words would stutter less, how you slowly gained more confidence around them. How you were more willing to fight back against Tsukki, even in the presence of Yamaguchi. He liked it, it made you more fun to be around. They weren’t just your seniors anymore; they were your best friends.

You three did everything together- shopping, karaoke, meals. On special days you even brought Tsukki a bento box. He didn’t like to admit it, but he loved your cooking. The cute touches you added made him smile inside. Still, he kept convincing himself that the only reason he wanted to smile was because your childish antics were so stupid.

The only time he even came close to realizing his feelings for you was when he finally noticed how many guys confessed their feelings to you. When he picked you up at your locker (a habit he gained after learning you two attended the same cram school), more often than not there was a confession letter waiting inside. He never really noticed them, though. That was until white day, March 14th.

 He saw you coming down to your lockers after your club activity, a giant stuffed dog held firmly in your arms. That was something he surly noticed. Something he couldn’t miss. 

“What the hell is that?” he asked, glaring slightly at the offending object in your possession. He had no right to be jealous, he hadn’t even come to terms with the fact he liked you. But he knew you having something like that made him upset.

“Hmm? Oh! This? Some guy gave it to me,” you smiled, a pink blush dusting your cheeks, “His name is Ruffus!” He rolled his eyes at the stupid name you gave the stuffed puppy before smirking slightly. You were blushing, that meant Yamaguchi must’ve given it to you right? You did give him home made chocolates on valentine’s day. You were probably so happy because this meant he was finally reciprocating.

“Ahhh, I get it. Yams gave that to you huh? So, you two are finally a thing? Took both of you long enough.” You blushed at his comment.

“Of course, not you idiot, some guy in my class gave it to me. I didn’t even give him anything for valentine’s day.” You told him as you opened your locker. He looked inside, noticing quite a few pink cards located inside. The same type of envelopes those guys put their disgusting confession letters in. The feeling in his gut sparked back up.

You didn’t pay them any attention though, you just stuffed them into your bag so you could write them each a letter back, rejecting them as politely as you could. That’s what you normally did, anyway. The letters weren’t really anything new. 

“Yams’ didn’t get me anything.” You said, forcing a smile, “I would say there’s next year, but you two are graduating, gonna leave me all alone! How will I survive!” You smiled at him and continued on your way to the train station. He actually felt bad for you. He normally doesn’t feel bad for anyone, but there you were, still pining after a guy who hadn’t shown any interest in you for over a year. He knew you had plenty of options (himself being one of them), but there you were, still going after his best friend who saw you as northing more then a cute little sister.

He wanted to tell you to get over him, but he was never very good at expressing what he wanted to say in words. Even if he did tell you, you both knew your feelings wouldn’t just go away. He could just tell you that Yams liked some other girl, but something in him told him not to. He didn’t want to see you sad.

So, instead, the next day he popped into your classroom early in the morning. Before you were even able to greet him, he walked over to you, put a stuffed frog on your head, then left the room without saying anything. He had never done something like that before, he wasn’t the type to give people gifts. You were confused, very confused over his actions. But happy.

He knew a gift from him was different then a gift from Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi was better than him after all. But, he had the urge to help in some way, so getting you a gift was the least he could do.

---

When graduation rolled around for your third-year best friends, you were there to support them. You always would be. You had flowers for the two of them, as well as a big dinner planned for later that night. You were going to treat them. The thought made you smile, they really deserved it.

After the ceremony, when you arrived to their classroom, Yamaguchi looked as handsome as ever, but then again, when didn’t he? His smile looked so pretty talking to his classmates. You wished he was smiling at you. But then again, when didn’t you?

Tsukkishima finally came over to you before Yamaguchi did. He had an annoyed scowl when you gave him the flowers, but then again, he always did, didn’t he? You were so proud of your friends that today you didn’t mind the teasing or the typical rude comments. You just wanted to spend a nice, happy, last day of high school with your crush and your best friend.

---

Your friends had both gotten into the same university, a university that you hoped to attened yourself the following year. You couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. You wanted to be with them again.

When the next school year started up you realized how terribly you missed the duo. Sure, you had other friends in your classes, but it wasn’t the same as the time you got to spend with the seniors you held so close to your heart. So, what else could you do other then put your head into a book and study? You worked as hard as you could to be able to make it into their university. Then you’d get to spend time with your friends once again.

As expected when their classes started up you didn’t get to see them as often, typically only getting to text them rather then actually meet in person. Yamaguchi seemed really supportive about you going to university with them, often sending you texts of encouragement on long nights of studying. Even better was when he had the time he took you out to get coffee, then to the local library to help you study. It reminded you why you started to like him in the first place; you wanted to be better for him. Better then just a silly little high school girl with a silly little crush.

Tsukishima, while you hoped would be just as supportive as Yams, didn’t really seem to care much. The occasional hangout still took place, you both still texted. However, college was stressful; it was really hard. Never mind his volleyball career and the countless hours he put into practice. The time you used to take up in his life was now consumed by school. You didn’t really expect any more or any less from him. At least you still had Yamaguchi, that was who you really needed, right?

 He was your springtime, remember?

---

Finally, you managed to do it! You graduated your final, painstaking year of high school! Even got into your top university, the one Tsuki and Yams went to! You were so excited. You couldn’t believe it when you got your acceptance letter.

Finally, you would be re-united with your best friends again. It would be just like high school all over again, right?

As per usual, you were wrong. It seemed like most of the time you were. While they were both happy for you (overjoyed actually), when you finally started attending the university, the dynamic was drastically different than before. You hoped you would get to spend time together once again, just like you did back in the good old days. You hoped you would all get to eat lunch together, hang out after school, study together. But none of that was really the same.

Your and Tsuki’s schedule always lined up together, however, Yamaguchi’s always ended being the opposite. Which left you and Tsukishima to hang out a lot more often, something neither of you could really argue with. He missed you, a lot more then he was willing to admit. You missed your big old oaf as well, especially your late-night talks about life. More often than not, he ended up in your room until the moon was high in the sky, just, talking to you. After his long, stressful days, you were the exact break he needed.

Your talks never got emotional, at least they didn’t on his end. But that was okay, you didn’t mind. That was always just… him. And you liked your friendship with him. Whenever your conversations ventured to Yamaguchi, he made sure to never talk about his friends love life. The crushes he had on other girls at the time, his friends ideal type, none of that. Maybe that was a mistake, he didn’t know. Maybe you would have finally taken the hint and gotten over your feelings. He just didn’t want to hurt you. The way your eyes lit up when his best friend was around, he couldn’t take that away from you. That just wasn’t right. He just wanted to see you happy. That was his excuse.

As the years continued on, your puppy-love that originally began in high school had only grown and bloomed into a full-fledged love for none other than Yamaguchi Tadashi, the innocence with it still carried over. He had nurtured that love without even knowing it himself. He was an easy man to love. In your second year of college, you knew that for sure.

There you were, laying on the floor with Tsukishima occupying the bed like most other nights. That day you had gone out with the two of them, now, you were flustered. Mad even. That day, while you were out, you noticed Tadashi staring at a pretty 4th year girl. His cheeks were completely flushed, and when she managed to bump into him on accident, he could barely utter a word. The two of you were opposites, that was pretty obvious, even if it was just based on looks alone. She was graceful and elegant, and so very mature. While you were still cute and innocent; your second year of college and you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet.  

It hurt, it really, really hurt to see that. So, you now sat there, stewing in silence as Tsuki kicked your head for the umpteenth time trying to get your attention.

“Oi, you fre-“

“I think Tadashi is into experienced girls.” You said abruptly, finally breaking out of your once quiet demeanor. Tsuki shifted uncomfortably, not really knowing how to traverse around this.

“What the fuck are you on about this time?”  Was the response he settled with. You turned around, finally making eye contact with him.

“Think about it! We both saw how he was around that girl today!” You pouted, standing up. You put your hands on your hips. Kei thought you looked stupid (cute) like that, with your cheeks all puffed out in obvious irritation.

“Yeah and?”

“Do you think if I was more experienced then I would have a chance with him?” He really didn’t know how to answer this one. It was one of the subjects he always avoided. He knew Tadashi’s ideal type, but he would never actually tell you it.

“(y/n)..” he signed out, rubbing his face slightly in irritation. That’s when you said words he never thought he would actually hear from you.

“Could you teach me how to kiss?” It was silly of you to think knowing how to kiss would suddenly make him fall in love with you, but people did silly things for love didn’t they? You crawled between his legs, looking up at him with a smile and a pale pink blush adorning your features.

Tsukishima sat up straighter than he had before, and looked at you with evident shock across his features. You, his innocent little best friend, was asking him for kissing lessons? You were sitting so prettily between his legs? You weren’t actually serious were you? Sure, he knew how to, he had quite a bit of experience and that kind of thing didn’t mean much to him with other girls. And sure, the idea did excite him- but no. No, he couldn’t do that. Not to his best friend who was in love with their green-haired counterpart.

“Idiot, stop talking out of your ass.” He said, turning his face away from yours, a pink settling on his cheeks as well, “You wanted to save that for someone you cared about.” He knew this, of course he did. And he wasn’t that person. For some reason, at the thought of that, something panged in his heart.

“So what? It doesn’t matter anymore does it? I don’t care about that kind of thing anymore.” Yes you did. You both knew you did. Kei was the only one who was willing to admit it though.

He signed and tried to push you away from him slightly, “Yes you do. You just need to sleep this idiocity of yours off.” He was blunt about it, he always was. But, suddenly he felt a gentle tug on the bottom of his shirt and he instinctively met your gaze once again. His eyes couldn’t help but widen.

“Pl-please Kei…? I… I really need your help… I’m too inexperienced… I trust you a lot.. and I really need your help with this…” Now you were just flat out begging him. It tugged on his heart strings; it really did. He never wanted to make you sad.

He signed, you were always able to make him give in to stupid things. Only you though.

“Fine. But don’t come to me asking for shit like this again.” He stated bluntly. And suddenly, all the sadness vanished from your face, replaced with that big stupid smile he told himself he hated.

“Thank you! Thank you so much! You’re the best person in the world!” And for once, maybe he believed it. When you spoke things so earnestly, it was hard for him not to believe them. He rolled his eyes.

“You better not regret this okay?” He spoke softly. He slowly reached out and took you chin between his forefinger and thumb, leading your face closer to his.

“I promise I won’t.”

And with that last bit of consent he needed, he kissed you.

It was gentle, so gentle. It was too easy to kiss him back. Your grip stayed firm on the bottom of his shirt, your eyes screwed shut awkwardly tight. Eventually, he pulled away only to kiss you again, this time deeper and more passionate. He felt years of weight rushing off of him all at once and he had no clue why. All he knew is that for some reason he was finally able to relax. He removed his hand from your chin, instead resting it on your waist gently.

Before he realized what he was doing, he gently licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You squeaked but nevertheless obliged, opening your mouth just enough so he could move his tongue inside.

He kiss itself was slow and passionate. He slowly coaxed out what he wanted from you without exchanging any words. The only time the two of you pulled away was to take a breath before he kissed you again and again, each one rougher then the last. Eventually, you began to relax into his touch, into him as he kept going. You never really thought just kissing another person could feel this good.

At some point throughout the exchange, Tsukishima had managed to take hold of your ass, pulling you onto his lap. You let out a little whine when he gripped you too hard. That whine excited him. He didn’t think he could take it anymore. He was getting hard, too hard. Your innocence, your inexperience. He loved all of it.

He wasn’t thinking anymore, why should he think when he gets so drunk off of just kissing you?

Oh right.

That’s why.

Because its you. His best friend of 5 years who was hopelessly in love with someone else. Someone that wasn’t him. It made him upset, deeply so. Why didn’t you love him the same way you loved Yamaguchi? What did Yamaguchi have that he didn’t?

Wait, was he in love with you?

Thoughts over the last 5 years finally registered with him as you began to pull your shirt off. As much as he wanted to continue, this was all too much for him to deal with him at the moment. Years of feelings and emotions that he kept supressed rushed out of him like the Niagra falls. It was too much. This was too much.

That’s when he remembered, you weren’t doing this for him. You were doing it because you wanted Yamaguchi to like you. He had to stop this.

You moaned again and pulled away from the kiss, once again attempting to remove the annoying material known as your shirt. If he didn’t know the truth maybe he really would believe it, that you actually cared about him and wanted to do this.

Abruptly, Tsukishima stood up, causing you to fall back onto the plush, stuffed animal covered bed. You looked at him confused. He must’ve just been nervous to take things farther, he probably thought you didn’t want to. It was okay! You needed to learn about that stuff too anyway if you were going to show Yamaguchi how mature and elegant you could be. Just like that other girl. The girl he really liked.

“‘S okay!” You smiled and sat up on the bed, “We can keep going, I don’t mind.” You looked at him with hopeful eyes, expecting him to move back on top of you to continue. But instead, he began to grab his things and make way for the door. You were confused. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden? Didn’t he say he would help? Didn’t he wanna do this? You quickly got up and grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Did I do something wrong? Was I that bad?”

“No.” He bluntly stated, not looking back at you. He couldn’t deal with this. He pulled his arm away, “Just confess to him already. This is getting annoying. Shit it’s been annoying. It’s been 5 fucking years!” Suddenly, you felt insecure. You felt rejected.

“Wh-what? But I thought…”

“You thought wrong. Just tell him you like him.” And with that, he left your dorm room. He really didn’t understand why he was getting so upset, he didn’t exactly have a right to either. He had never felt this jealous before. He didn’t feel it when he fucked around with girls, didn’t feel it when guys hit on the other girls he had been interested it, but you were different. He needed to come to terms with these newly discovered feelings, yet he didn’t know if he could ever actually face you again. Not with you still head over heels for Yamaguchi.

So, the days trailed on with no sign of Tsukishima. Yamaguchi was showing up less and less, too. Presumably, he was meeting up with that girl again, Riko, as you learned her name to be. You saw them around campus a few times. But you didn’t let yourself admit the truth. You didn’t want to. It was better to just protect your heart. They were just friends, study partners. Had to be right?

The worst of it was that whenever you tried to talk to Tsuki, he always left you on read or said something so dry that you couldn’t reply to it. Seems like your spring, your happiness, your youth had finally faded.

Over the coming weeks you were alone again. Just like high school, you took to studying to drown out the feelings of loneliness. Helplessness maybe. Eventually, you stopped trying to spend time with them. It was obvious Kei had been ignoring you since that night, and Yamaguchi was clearly occupied with his summer fling.

That’s it.

This had to be the feeling of summer. Uncomfortable, alone, and warm. School was over, it wasn’t as easy to be around friends. There were still pretty flowers, they just weren’t around you. You had to seek refuge in your cool house. The cold was much more calming.

But eventually, you got tired of that too. You were tired of this. All the awkward tension, all the avoidance of each other. Maybe, just maybe, if you couldn’t save your relationship with Tsuki, you could at least save it with Yamaguchi.

You chose a day and marked it on your calendar. That was the day you would finally tell him your true feelings. Up until now, you were too scared of the rejection, too scared of loosing him, but you practically already had. Your friendship with the two men was in shambles, so if there was an all or nothing chance that could make things better, you decided you needed to take it.

If he rejects you, you decided that you could take it. You have to take it. You cant just sit there pining after him anymore. Back in your younger years you thought that you might still have a chance if you just waited it out. Maybe he would confess! But he never did. Maybe you just needed to confess your feelings to get over him. Maybe just maybe that’s what you wanted.

Or maybe you wanted him to accept you with open arms. You didn’t really know what you wanted. You just wanted to be done with the drama your crush on him has brought you so you could go back to spring.

But seasons change. The cruel clock continues to tick on and on without stopping. Once you passed spring you couldn’t get it back.

—-

Finally, when that fated day arrived, you walked up to his dorm. You tried your best to look nice and calm, but you knew you weren’t very good at that. Even when you tried your hardest you always looked slightly disheveled. You once hoped it was something Yamaguchi would like about you, but it never seemed like it was. Tsukishima loved it though, he was finally willing to admit it too.

You looked down at his door handle and noticed a sock placed on it. Looking back on that moment, you wished you knew what it meant. That might’ve saved you from seeing what you did.

You had a lot of wishes.

But alas, you never got that lesson from your female friends- hell you didn’t really had any close female friends other than the guy’s team managers in high school. So, in your naïveté, you gently took the sock off the handle, maybe it somehow ended up there when he was doing the laundry? He was clumsy like that. You shrugged it off and twisted to see if it was locked. It was.

That should have been your second red flag to turn back, he always kept his door unlocked.

But, once again, you always seemed to make the wrong choice.

You found your keys, pulling them out of your pocket. Located on the ringlet was the same key he had given to his dorm back at the beginning of the school year. Back when the 3 of you were closer. You suck it in the keyhole and turned it before opening the door, the sight inside scaring you.

Yamaguchi had his face scrunched up in pleasure, his cock buried deep inside Riko’s cunt. She was on her hands and knees with her back bent at an angle that couldn’t have been comfortable. Your eyes went wide as the sound of skin slapping against skin was all you could hear. Suddenly, you felt hot. Very hot. You couldn’t breathe either. It was like you had just run a marathon in 90-degree heat. It was awful.

You wished you had just turned around and ran before Yamaguchi saw you, you really wished you did. But you were frozen in place. It was like the summer heat had dragged you down to the fiery pits of hell.

Eventually, when he did see you, his face flushed even brighter than it had been before. He quickly pulled out of her, hurriedly dressing the two of them while you just stood in place. How long did you stand there? You had no idea.

You should have been happy for your friend; you really wish you could have been. You wished you could have just said something funny and walked away like nothing happened. If only your 5-year love for the man wasn’t in the way. Without it, this would have just been an awkward experience, not an utterly heartbreaking one. You didn’t have a right to be upset either, you knew that; you didn’t have a claim over him. But it still hurt. It hurt more than anything else. Like a sunburn after a long day at the beach.

“A-ah! (Y/n)! I didn’t know you were coming over!” Yamaguchi laughed out awkwardly, finally pulling up his pants. Of course he wasn’t hurting like you. He was in a relationship. You wanted him to be happy. Its what he deserved after making you feel so happy, so cared about for so many years.

So, what else could you do other than you force a smile onto your face. You could wallow in your own emotions another time.

“Yeah! I just needed to um.. grab something! I didn’t know you were in here.” You said, fumbling with your words a bit, “But I see you’re busy! I’ll head out!” You quickly closed the door, leaning against the wall right next to it. You needed a moment to compose yourself before your walk back to your dorm. You didn’t want to burst out into tears in the middle of the campus for everyone to see.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, she’s just my friend from high school!”

“Just a friend? Why did she have a key to your place then? I know I locked the door.”

“Ah, you don’t have to be so worried about her, she’s like my little sister. Sometimes she needs my help with things.”

You wished you just left. Wished you just ran straight home. Wished the walls weren’t as thin as they were. Wished they weren’t standing so close to the door. Anything you could have wished on in that moment you did. Just a high school friend. Just a little sister. Not even one of his best friends. The words made you feel sick. Who cares if anyone saw you crying, you just needed to get out of there. You held a hand over your mouth as you practically ran home, afraid you might actually throw up if you didn’t.

Oh, how the summer stung.

---

You hadn’t left your dorm in days; you really shouldn’t have been as upset as you were. You didn’t have any right to. The most you ever did with poor Tadashi was hold his hand- even that wasn’t in any sort of romantic manor. But still, there you were. Heartbroken. It was only natural really, you knew he didn’t owe you anything, you knew you weren’t in a relationship. He could do whatever he wanted! But that didn’t stop it from hurting. You didn’t think it would ever really stop hurting.

It was on the fifth day that you decided you needed to do something. Something to forget. Go out to a party, get drunk, fuck some random guy. It didn’t matter. Maybe you just wanted to continue the destructive streak you already had going. Why not fuck around and loose your virginity? None of it mattered anyway. Not when the man you had loved since your first year in high school never even thought about loving you back.

Unrequited love was a bitch.

You decided that you needed to get over yourself, get over this pity party you were throwing. Maybe if you went out tonight you could get over him. Maybe then the summer bee sting would finally go away.

You didn’t have many clothes for going out, it wasn’t something you were really into. So, you tried your best to put together an outfit to make yourself feel appealing. Did your hair to make yourself feel pretty. Put on some makeup to feel a tad bit more confident. Even if your skills weren’t that great, it didn’t matter. You felt prettier then you had the whole week. That is what mattered. You didn’t really think guys cared how you dressed anyway, only what was underneath, so it didn’t really matter.

When you finally left the dorm and arrived at one of the various parties going on, the moon was high in the sky. The confidence you had walking to the building had all but vanished when you finally manouvered inside. The music was loud, people were sweaty, the place was a mess. But that didn’t matter right? All that mattered was getting over your spring, some other girls Yamaguchi Tadashi.

After all, one thing that stays the same is the seasons changing.

You made your way over to the kitchen to grab a drink. You never really liked the idea of drinking, the smell making you feel sick, but you needed to let loose. That’s what alcohol was for anyway, wasn’t it? That what all the teen movies you watched as you cried into your pillow told you. It was really childish of you, but you had never gone through heart break before. Maybe you were just a late bloomer. Maybe this was the moment that would make you mature. As you took your first sip, your nose scrunched up, but you kept downing it.

Eventually you made your way to the dance floor, the alcohol taking a firm hold on your system as you finally let loose. You relaxed as you swayed to the music and laughed easily. Your consciousness was still there, you were still clear enough to make decisions. A certain wall had just otherwise broken down.

A guy came up behind you and began grinding against your ass as you danced. You giggled and turned around to face him. He wasn’t unattractive, far from it. If you were going to do this now would be the time to.

“Hey.” You smiled at him. He smiled back.

Little did you know, the source of one of your problems was also there that night, also there trying to drink away his feelings. He was so stupid. Tsukishima knew very well he was. All this time and he never realized his liked you more than just his idiot best friend. And now that he did know, he knew he had no chance with you. Every emotion he didn’t understand surrounding you from all those years came rushing at him tenfold. He didn’t like the dog because he was jealous, he didn’t like the confession letters because he didn’t like the idea other men could have you.

He loved you smile, he didn’t think you looked stupid, he thought you looked adorable. The stuffed animals that he once made fun of you having were now the cutest thing. The reason your food was so good was because you made it, not just because you were a good cook. He was pretty sure you could feed him garbage and he would love it all because you were the one who gave it to him.

He knew why he didn’t like talking about Tadashi with you- it was because he wished he was Tadashi. He wanted to be the one you loved and cared about. But now he knew that that would never happen, all because you loved someone other then him.

He had been avoiding both you and Yamaguchi since all of those realizations. He tried quick fucks to make up for the feelings you left him with, but nothing helped. He was there again that night to try to do the same thing. To look for an easy pussy to stick his dick into as an attempt to get over you. It was better that he did, for all three of you.

That was when he saw you on the dance floor, with some other man’s filthy hands all over you. Hands that should be his. At first he honestly didn’t really believe it was you, he just thought it was whatever drink he was having that night making him delusional. You wouldn’t be at a party like this. You couldn’t be. But when he inched closer and closer, he realized it had to be you. You were standing there in the skimpiest skirt he thought he had ever seen and thigh-highs, with some guy biting disgusting marks into your neck.

When the man whispered something in your ear, you blushed. Tsuki’s face was red for other reasons. He saw the guy take your small hand into his own and start to lead you up the stairs. Wait, no. He couldn’t let that happen. He shouldn’t let that happen. You should be with him. He listened to the thoughts in his head and rushed over to you, pulling you against his chest. The other man stepped back in an offended manor.

“Huh? What are you doing here?” You mumbled out, a pout forming on your lips, your cheeks pushed out just the way he liked. It was so cute. He loved it so much. But right now was not the time to get caught up in his own feelings.

“It doesn’t matter. What are you doing?” He said in a stern manor, glaring down at you dangerously. You giggled and stood on your tippy toes to whisper in his ear. His aggressive deminior didn’t really mean anything.

“I’m gonna get fucked! I think this guy likes me!” You giggled; your cheeks dusted with rose. He scoffed in annoyance, could you really be that stupid?

“No, you’re not. You’re drunk.”

“Hush! I’m not drunk! Perfectly sane!” You smiled, while the other man stared at the two of you awkwardly.

“Hey uh… I’m sorry if this is your girl. I had no clue… Um… I’m gonna go… I don’t wanna be a part of your weird jealous fuck… I’ve been roped into that one too many times before, and it’s never a happy ending.” The stranger said, before awkwardly trotting away and grabbing himself another drink. You whined and pushed at Tsuki’s chest, sad your fuck to get over Tadashi had now walked away and seemingly had no interest.

“What did you do that for?!” You whined and squirmed around cutely like you were actually disappointed. He really hoped you weren’t.

“We’re leaving.” He murmured bluntly, picking you up and carrying you outside of the building. You squirmed the whole time, constantly berating him about putting you down and how he ruined your night. He didn’t listen though, only carried you back to his dorm, most likely waking up all of his neighbors in the process due to your voice.

Only after you finally made it inside did he put you down, dropping you on his bed. He turned his back to you, scavenging through his dresser.

“I cant believe you! And when I was this close-“ He interrupted you, handing you some of his clothes to change into, “What the fuck are these for?” You said, holding them up and shaking them slightly for dramatic effect.

He only sighed and sat down at his desk chair, “You don’t see me as one, but I am a man, (y/n).” You only looked at him confused, but he sighed again, opting to not explain himself further, “You’re staying the night. You should be comfortable.” He turned around in his chair, now facing away from you. Oddly, you missed his gold, piercing stare.

“Oh, so just cause you’re a guy you cant keep your dick in your pants?”

“That’s not what I meant you idiot.”

“That’s what it seems like. I was hoping to have that effect on someone else you know! Not you!”

“I know.”

“Then why the fuck did you take me away?!”

“You were going to regret it. Can you please just shut the fuck up?” He signed, rubbing his temples. It seemed like you were really itching to get in a fight that night. He kind of deserved it, he didn’t have any right to drag you away. What you wanted to do was your choice, he shouldn’t have any say in it. But he couldn’t just stand there and watch as you got taken from him- even if he decided that you would never like him in that way.

You scoffed and stood up, “I’m leaving.” You didn’t want to go.

“Don’t...” You didn’t expect him to say that. You expected him to laugh at you and say see if I care. Did he… care..? Maybe, you didn’t know. It didn’t matter though, as you listened to her stern, dominating voice, you sat back down on the bed, just as he wanted. You stained into his muscular back with confusion and annoyance.

“What do you want Tsukishima.” You asked, well, more so stated. And he really didn’t have an answer for you. He wanted you to fall for him instead of that green haired twig who couldn’t see the amazing thing right in front of him. For once he wanted to be in a dumb romcom where he was the guy the girl actually fell for instead of just the supportive best friend. He wanted you. He wasn’t going to say that though, opting to just change the subject entirely.

“Why were you going to do that?” He questioned, still not able to bring himself to turn around and face you.

“Do what?”

“Fuck him. It wasn’t to.. You weren’t just trying to make yourself more experienced for.. for him right?” He was having trouble finding the exact right words to say. However, when a sudden sharp laugh (a laugh that he loved) moved past your lips he whipped around quickly, watching you almost keel over in laughter.

“Him?” You laughed, “You mean Yamaguchi? Hell no! I was trying to get over that cabbage patch kid.” You calmed yourself down, while Tsuki just stared at you, now it was his turn to be confused.

He had no clue about the events that happened between you and Tadashi, so you explained, “I know, finally right? I walked in on him fucking that chick. I threw myself a pity party and now here I am, trying to get over him before you so rudely pulled- no sorry, carried my ass away.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, you were finally trying to get over him? He knew he should’ve felt bad, your heart had been broken and he wasn’t there to help, but the only thought going through his head were thanks to whatever god there was.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, yeah, here comes all the teasing and mocking, I know the drill. You can spare me from it.”

“I’m sorry that happened.”

“Haha yeah the jokes all on me- what?” You were bamboozled! You had never heard him say those words before, even when he made you cry from mocking you about your creepy pasta phase in high school.

“That sucks, I know you really liked him.”

“I… Yeah.. Yeah it does suck.” You pulled your legs up to your chest, not really knowing how to react in this situation. He had never been this emotionally open with you, never really showed you any form of empathy. You kind of wanted to cry, let your emotions out now that you finally had someone to actually listen to you. All he did was nod, trying not to pay any mind to your pink panties that had now been exposed due to your new position.

“Get changed okay?” He said gently. It was a tone you weren’t used to hearing from him just yet. You nodded your head before he turned back around in his chair. You took that as a sign to get started, pulling off your top and exchanging it for his bigger, comfier volleyball jersey he had handed to you earlier. The sweats he gave you to wear were huge as well, but they were really your only option. You didn’t want to go back to your dorm anymore, it was much too hot there. Summer emotions were strong and evident. But Tsuki’s room, it was cool like fall.

Oh, how you were soon going to love fall.

When you finished changing, you perched yourself back on his bed, nestled into the corner with all the pillows. His bed was comfortable, maybe you wouldn’t mind this sleepover.

“You can look now, I finished.” When he turned around, he should’ve known what to expect. However, he was not anticipating the effect you had on him. If he thought you looked amazing in that skirt, you looked even better in his clothes.

He wouldn’t say anything about it though, you didn’t need that right now.

You fiddled with the bottom of your shirt; things normally weren’t this awkward between you. But then again, you two hadn’t talked for the last couple of weeks, and the last time you did you were begging him to teach you how to kiss.

“So,” You decided to try to make some form of conversation at least, “Why were you out tonight?” You smiled slightly at him as he took his glasses off, “You normally just like to say home and study.”

Same reason you were. “The rest of the team went to it; I just went for them” You nodded in understanding.

“You can come over here, you know? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I wont bite unless threatened.” You smiled, patting the spot next to you in bed.

He hesitated for a moment before you sweetened the deal, “I’ll watch your lame volleyball games with you.” At that he stood up and slid next to you in bed. You couldn’t help but cuddle up to him, resting your head gently against his shoulder, waiting for a nudge off of him that never came. He pulled his phone out and pulled up a game for the two of you to watch. This was nice, this was peaceful. It was like autumn. Your autumn.

After awhile of listening to him talk about the game, you fell asleep nuzzled up to his neck.

—-

In the following months you and Tsuki grew closer- a lot closer, much to his delight. Those late-night talks came back and eventually morphed into sleepovers. Sleepovers where you always found yourself cuddled up to him by morning. Eventually, he even starting initiating affection in his own, albeit rough way. It was relaxing, he was so nice. Well, not literally. He still made fun of you, which resulted in you making fun of him back.

But on those nights where he would be softer and open up to you, it would make you so happy.

Eventually, after seeing you and Tsuki walk around on campus, Yamaguchi realized the friendship he had been neglecting with the two of you. He started hanging out more and more, but the shift in your trio’s dynamic was obvious. You and Tsukishima seemed a lot closer then you two had before, which Tadashi only saw as a good thing. He was happy his friends were finally closer! He smiled at the thought of you three remaining friends even after college.

He was still clueless about people’s emotions towards him, always had been, always will be.

So, your friendship with the boys was back in full bloom. You were excited about it, finally realizing how relaxing it could be to spend time with your friends without stupid emotions in the way.

That was until emotions did, in fact, start to get in the way again.

They always did.

Yamaguchi’s girlfriend broke up with him, and of course, who did he come running to other then you? You let him cry into your arms. You had to. You wanted to make your best friend feel better, but that “making him feel better” did not include him kissing you, at least on your end it didn’t. To him though, it did.

In the middle of his shaking and crying he looked up to you with his red puffy doe eyes. Before you knew it his lips were on yours. You weren’t expecting it, you didn’t know what to do. The moment you had been waiting your whole life for had just presented itself, and all you could think about was Tsukishima and how he kissed you, how he made you feel so good with nothing but his tongue.

You pulled away and stood up, apologizing quickly, and leaving your dorm. Yamaguchi sat there confused as well. Why did he kiss you? He didn’t have the slightest clue either. He was probably just so upset, maybe looking for a rebound. You shouldn’t be his rebound though. He was probably just confused. That’s what the both of you told yourselves anyway. He couldn’t have actually realized his feelings for you in that moment. Tsukishima would’ve told you he didn’t deserve to.

When you arrived at the door, you were hot again. Summer was back and you didn’t know why. But, Tsukishima could cool you down, he always managed to. When he opened the door and saw your distraught figure, he did nothing but open his arms. When you were upset you always seemed to want to be held. He didn’t get it, but making fun of you in that moment wouldn’t help.

You lunged into his arms and held him tight, burring your face in his shirt in an instant. He slowly picked you up, closed the door, and maneuvered over to his bed to sit the two of you down on it. You needed a friend right now.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” You stilled for a moment, taking a long hesitant breath before speaking. You wanted to try to remain as calm as possible.

“Y-Yams he.. his girlfriend broke up with him… He kissed me…” Tsukishima tensed up at this and started to rub circles into your back.

“Oh, he did? Dream come then?” You were gonna leave him again weren’t you?

You only shook your head, “I-I….I don’t think so…” you managed to squeak out, “I don’t know what I’m feeling… I just know I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Tsuki looked at you confused before sighing, now wasn’t the time to have a talk about your potential feelings for him. You just needed to rest.

“Emotions are shitty aren’t they?” He sighed out, you nodded and relaxed against him. Hopefully, you wouldn’t leave him for his idiot best friend. Not this time.

“T-Tsuki… I know I’m being really selfish right now but… I want you to make the pain go away.. I-I don’t think anyone else can do it..” You looked up at him with your eyes watering. It felt wrong to kiss Yamaguchi, like you were enacting a sin that god forbit you from. It felt dirty and wrong.

“What do you want me to do?” He sighed, pushing a strand of hair out of your face. It was sad how easily he gave into you.

“I-I don’t know.. I just feel dirty.. I feel wrong..” You said, bottom lip quivering slightly. He was honestly amazed at this. How could he make you feel like this? Why did kissing Yamaguchi make you feel dirty? Why did you think he could cleanse you? He shouldn’t act. He really shouldn’t. But your lips, they were so soft and inexperienced he kissed you.. would they be the same as last time? Would you be so quick to make a sound? He wanted to know, and he wanted to make you feel better.

So, he leaned down and kissed you. You didn’t pull away, didn’t scream in disgust. Rather, it seemed to be exactly what you wanted. A soft mewl of approval you let out shot straight through him. You learned into his touch, finally starting to cool down. This is exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You need Tsukishima. It finally dawned on you that that’s why you were so repulsed by Yamaguchi kissing you, it was because you didn’t want anyone other then Tsukishima to be doing that kind of thing to you.

Once the kiss finally broke, a string of saliva connected your mouths. You were panting, your head dizzy from the overwhelming emotions. Tsukishima’s eyes just stared down at you, lust clouding his vision as his breathes labored slightly. He wanted to take things further, but he refused to let himself do that just yet. He had already indulged himself too much, but you looked so happy.

“Th-thank you..” You finally breathed out, “I-I.. thank you..” you mumbled, collapsing against the blonde’s chest. The effect he had on you was unbelievable, but it filled you with such pure and utter satisfaction.

He smiled down at you, a real genuine smile, “Get some sleep.” He told you, and you listened.

The following morning wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. When you woke up, he just held you against his chest. After a long talk that was much too sappy for Tsukishima’s liking, you two eventually decided to give dating a shot.

It scared you a little, you had to admit. You were nervous about your inexperience, most guys your age wouldn’t like that kind of thing right? But he reassured you, adding in a line making fun of you, calling you a baby to lighten the mood. He was happy. So happy. You both were.

This was right, it felt right.

As summer melted away into autumn, you found a new love, a new hope.

Maybe a new start wasn’t spring. Maybe a new start was Autumn after all.

Your fall, your Tsukishima. <3

Thank you all for reading!! Part 2 will be up at some point!! Have a lovely day <3

—masterlists

—rules/ requests

[forever-rogue]

Afterglow - Part 6

A/N: Honey Bee finally made the smartest decision of her life in the last chapter and now...time to deal with the fallout. Thank you guys for supporting and loving this story too! As always, feedback and comments are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know. xx 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: None

AFTERGLOW MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Spitting out the toothpaste into the sink, you groaned slightly when you realized that you had left your mouthwash back on your desk. Tilting your head under the tap, you got a mouthful of water and swished it around in your mouth, trying to get the last bits of toothpaste out.

When you were satisfied with the lackluster brushing, you quickly splashed some cold water onto your face to wake yourself up. But it was no use - you still looked as tired and dragged out as you felt. There were dark circles under your eyes, your lips were chapped and cracked, and the joy you normally held in your eyes was all but gone. You had been going through the motions for the last three, feeling more like an empty shell than anything else. 

But you felt liberated - free. More so than you had in a long time. That in itself made your current struggle worth it.

Grabbing your toothpaste, toothbrush, and hairbrush, you stalked out of the bathroom, ready to slink back to your office before anyone else arrived. 

Looking furtively around the hall, you walked the short distance to your own office, almost making it to safety when you heard your name being called softly. Groaning inwardly, you cleared your throat and turned around, plastering on the best smile you could.

"Ally," you said softly, "y-you're here early!"

"I was just thinking the same thing," she joked, and while you could tell she meant no harm, it still caused you to panic slightly. She was well aware of you calling off your engagement, hell the whole world seemed to know, but she never seemed to pity you for it. Her eyes flicked to the items in your hands as a warmth crept into your chest and blossomed over your whole face, "I'm meeting a client early this morning because it was the only thing that fit into his schedule. Are you..."

You remained silent for a moment, hanging your head before letting out a long sigh, "look, I've just been staying here since things ended with Chad. I'm trying to find my own place, but its been a bit of a difficult go. Turns that a lot of people don't want to rent to you if you happen to have supposedly wronged Chad Williams. It seems like everyone knows him."

She reached out and gave your shoulder a soft, reassuring squeeze. Meeting her eyes, you found a small smile on her face, luckily not one of pity, "I'm sorry he's making things miserable still. I'm guessing your parents are out of the question?"

"Absolutely not an option," you admitted with a stiff laugh, "my mom seemed okay at first but she and my father quickly came to the conclusion that I was in the wrong and making a horrible mistake. They insisted I was just going through a phase because of nerves. When I told them I was sure about my decision and wasn’t going back, they all but...disowned me. Imagine the shame I’ve brought upon them in their minds...they’re so old fashioned. Maybe they’ll come around one day.”

"Yikes," she said as you nodded, "can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I never liked him," she admitted softly, causing you to almost give yourself whiplash as you looked over at her, "there was just something about him that was off. I think - I know, you can do so much better."

"Thank you," you said as you laughed lightly, trying to hold the tears that threatened to well up at bay, "I hope so too."

"I mean it," she insisted, "you're kind, smart, pretty, and you've got a good heart. What more could anyone ask for?"

"Apparently a dutiful, quiet little wife..."

"Very funny," she teased, "why don't you come and stay with us? While you get your own place? We've got an extra bedroom that's not being used, and it's much better than staying here. Have you been sleeping on your hard old couch?”

"Yes..."

"Absolutely not," she shook her head, "come over when you're done for the day. We'll get the room ready for you. Anna will be happy to see you again too. And you know what, it's not an option, its a demand. Just come over tonight and we'll get you settled. I'll have Anna pick up some wine for dinner and everything."

"Ally, you're much too kind..." you said as her phone stared to ring. She looked at the screen and a big smile spread across her visage as her wife's name popped up on the screen.

"Speak of the devil," she laughed lightly, "tonight! No if, ands, or buts!"

You could only nod as she walked away, chattering excitedly as she went to her own office. Before stepping in and closing the door, she gave you a grin and wave that was enough to cause a single tear to roll down your cheek. It had been weeks since anyone had even shown you an ounce of kindness; most people had decided to scorn you instead, blaming you for everything that had happened. Wiping the warm drop away, you stepped foot into your own office, stashing your toiletries away for what you hoped would be the last time. Hopefully that everything you'd finally be able to have a proper, long, hot shower and sleep in a bed, two luxuries that you had been greatly missing. 

Pulling out a dress from the small wardrobe, you slipped it on, vowing to stop your little pity party. Sure, things weren't ideal right now, but you were still so much better off than others. That was something you did not take for granted.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Men really can be the worst,” Anna laughed, almost snorting into her wine as you held up your glass in a mock salute, “can you imagine being that pathetic and trying to sabotage someone you supposedly loved? I think it speaks volumes to his character.”

“The longer we were together, the more I realized that it was never about love, even if that’s how it started out. It was always about appearances and trying to please everyone else. It was getting so tiring.”

“I can only imagine,” Ally gave her your leg a small pat as you downed the rest of your glass, “but at least you’re free now. It’s easy to fall  into routine and not realize how unhappy we’ve become. We get used to just staying on one path. Usually it takes something big to make us realize what we’re doing isn’t what we wanted in the first place.”

“Okay Dr. Ally,” Anna teased her wife, “we’re not at the office. But I agree...I am curious, and happy, as to what caused you to realize that you deserve more.”

You felt the blood draining from your face almost immediately as you swallowed nervously, mouth dry. You weren’t about to delve into the memories and dreams that had been plaguing you over the weeks, becoming increasingly more frequent the closer your former wedding date had approached. Frankly, you hadn’t even admitted that to yourself yet, not out loud anyway. 

How were you supposed to tell yourself, let anyone else, that the reason you realized you deserved was better because you’d been dreaming of your high school boyfriend again? It had been twenty years, twenty long years without him - there was no reason you should have even given him a second thought. Yet...here you were. Still hung up on Frankie Morales, the boy that had earned your heart...and then brought it into a million pieces. You knew, you would be the first to admit, that it wasn’t all his fault, that you were to blame to an extent as well, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Ever since the day that you had run into him again, a day that should have been like any other, he’d been living rent free in your mind. Even if you hated him, even if you were still mad at him after all this time. You couldn’t help but wonder - what if. What if. 

What if he had come to California with you and you’d both stayed there? What if you had waited for him while you went to school and he was in the military? What if he’d come back to you long ago? Would you still be together? Would you be married to him? Would  you have a daughter or son that took on both of your best qualities? Or would you have eventually fallen out and broken up anyway, only to loathe each with every fiber of your being? Would you have stayed together?”

What if. What if. What if. 

It was that haunted you for so long now.

“Umm,” you snapped back into reality and pushed the thought of the boy you had loved out of your mind. You set the glass back down and made a small, noncommittal sound, “it was just a lot of things. The more real things became with the wedding planning the more I realized that I didn’t want this. It was at my last dress fitting actually, that I realized I couldn’t do it.” 

“That must have been quite a wake up call,” Anna’s eyes widened as she imagined the scene as you nodded, taking the almost empty bottle of wine and pouring the remainder into your class. 

“It was,” you admitted with a long sigh, “you should have been the poor dress maker. I almost ran out on her. But you know, even though things are far from perfect right now, I would still do it all again.”

“Cheers to that,” Ally held up her class, and the two of you clinked yours against it, “now to bigger and better things. You can, and will, do so much better.”

“Thank you both,” just being in their presence, let alone their home, had you feeling infinitely better, “I don’t even know where to begin to thank you.”

“What are friends for?” 

“I, however, do have some more good news,” Anna was proud of herself as the two of your gave her an inquisitive look, “I spoke to my friend who is a realtor today, no connection to Chad or anything, and he said he has a perfect little house available! It’s a little on the outskirts of town, a small, quiet neighborhood, but that it would be perfect for you. It’s not big, just a little two bedroom, one bath, but it’s all been redone recently, and it’s quaint. He showed me some pictures and I think you’d really like it.”

“You did...you did this for me?” you felt another wave of tears sting at the back of your eyes as she nodded. 

“I’m not trying to push this on you at all, or anything of the sort,” she promised, “but we were talking and it just came up and I thought of you. I thought I’d just tell you in case you were interested...you are, of course, welcome to stay with us however long you want.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” you said softly, “truly. I’d love to see the place. If you like, I’m sure it’ll be great. And honestly, it would be nice to get out of the city and be a little bit out of the way and I don’t need anything much. I just want a place that will feel like home...my own place.”

“Obviously it comes with the stipulation that we will get to help decorate and pick out furniture if you move into it.”

“I would expect nothing less,” you agreed, “it’s going to be nice getting my own things and having it be truly mine.”

“A fresh start,” she agreed, “I’ll tell Elijah that we’ll stop by tomorrow and take a look? How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” you agreed, feeling your heart finally feel warm again, as a wave of calm washed over you, “absolutely perfect.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

The next two weeks were a whirlwind of moving, although you technically didn’t have much to move, furniture shopping, unpacking, and organizing your new home. 

The house was cute, an older little home that had been recently renovated with a small yard and  a perfect spot for a garden. You could already picture yourself gardening once the cooler autumn and winter months were over. 

It wasn’t huge, but it had a spare bedroom you decided would serve as a home office and occasional guest room, although you figured you weren’t going to have many of those considering how easily everyone had cut you off. It was open, warm, and inviting, and it was perfect for what you wanted. It had brought up the idea of maybe adopting a dog or cat to keep as your friend. It had made you think of something that Frankie always said: anyone who wasn’t willing to share their home with an animal was as good as heartless.

It served as a sharp contrast to your former living situation; everything in the apartment you had shared with Chad had been cold, dark, and minimalistic. Nothing about it had ever felt truly homey, more like an ornate display at an art museum you were afraid to even look at. Chad had never wanted an animal of any sorts, not even a goldfish, claiming that it would take up too much time, too much space, and he just didn’t want something to take care of.

But your new home was the polar opposite, it was romantic and airy and filled with items and trinkets that made it feel like a home. A little animal friend would fit in perfectly. You were fitting in perfectly already. 

You’d even made it a point to go around the neighborhood and introduce yourself to people. Your justification was that you had literally nothing to lose, your family had turned their backs on you, your ex-fiance had taken almost all of the so called friends you’d had, and were left to your own devices. In the worst case scenario, you’d have met a few unsavory people, and in the best case scenario you’d get to know your neighbors and maybe make a few friends.

Something in the stars seemed to align, as your neighbors turned out to be kind and welcoming, and you were sure the cookies you offered them weren't a deterrent either. They were mostly either older couples, or small families, a few roommates that lived together. The normalcy of it all was endearing, and to know that you had a place that you were welcome was enough to let your heart rest easy. 

The only mystery that remained was your next door neighbor, the one on your left side. Whoever it was had been missing, gone or something, since you’d moved in several weeks before. While trying to maintain a respectful distance, you’d kept an eye on the house to see if you could spy anyone coming or going, see a car...something. But you never did - not even seen so much as a porch light flicker on. It seemed odd, especially in this neighborhood.

One afternoon, in the middle of unpacking the new bits of furniture for your living room and rearranging everything for about the tenth time, curiosity got the better of you. Maybe it was because you were in the middle of watching some true crime documentaries as you worked but you just felt...nervous. You were concerned about the health and safety of this mysterious neighbor that you hadn’t even met. You’d hastily wiped the sweat from your brow before rushing over to the neighbor on the other side of the seemingly nonexistent neighbor. 

Unfortunately, much to your chagrin, the other neighbor, an older widowed man by the name of Eddie, who happened to have an adorable dog that you decided you’d offer to take on walks, was just as clueless as you. 

He said he’d seen the man, at least you narrowed it down to that much, come on and go on occasion, but that he kept odd hours. He commented that he must have worked evenings or something, because he wasn’t around much at that time and it was always quiet during the day. Apparently it wasn’t odd for him to be gone for days at a time, or at least for no one to notice him. At least he’d be a quiet neighbor if he ever appeared again. But the older man hadn’t seemed too concerned, so figured there was nothing to worry about. You ended finding out that he was likely around your age, with dark hair. That was about all that Eddie knew; he said the man whose name he couldn’t even remember had always kept to himself since he’d moved in a few years ago. 

You’d thanked him, given the small fluffy dog a few pets and trudged back to your own place, arms filled with various baked goods, including a delicious smelling loaf of banana bread. Eddie had proudly declared that he had taken up the hobby of baking in his retirement and he always had been plenty to share. You made a mental note to store that little piece of info away for future use. 

And yet still, even as more days passed, you still didn’t see hide nor hair of the mystery man. You’d gone to work each morning, wondering if maybe you just missed him and you had conflicting schedules. You didn’t know why you even cared so much, or what drew you to solving this mystery, but you were just inexplicably invested. 

One evening, as you were watching some Netflix and unwinding with a glass of wine, browsing the adoptable animals at the local shelter, it hit you. It was like the proverbial lightbulb had been switched on and you came up with a brilliant idea. When you’d moved in, you’d taken some fresh, homemade cookies to everyone in the small cul-de-sac - why didn’t you just make some for him? 

It was brilliant, you thought to yourself as you set the wine glass down and almost tossed your laptop to the floor in excitement. You would make your favorite cookies, soft, gooey chocolate chip ones you fancied so much, get them all safely in a container and drop them off when you felt for work in the morning. If they were gone by the time you came home that would mean he had to have been there. 

Yes, you thought to yourself, this is brilliant. No one could turn down a plate of fresh cookies. 

So you’d spent the rest of the evening, bouncing around the kitchen excitedly, pouring your heart and soul into the every little step it took to make the perfect treat. By the time you’d gone to bed, excited and worn out, the little package was sitting on your counter for your to grab on your way out. This was going to be it, you just knew it.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You woke up early the next morning, even before your alarm went off, a smile on your face despite being tired. You almost stopped dead in your tracks when you realized that this was the first, the first time in what felt like a small eternity that you woke up like that. It was a good feeling, and you hoped that you would be able to hang onto it. 

Once you’d showered and done up your makeup and hair to your liking, you slipped on a pretty golden dress. It always made you feel pretty, the color bringing a slight bit of joy into your heart. You always felt confident and good in it, and you decided it was just what you needed. If your last session ended early enough, you even planned on stopping by the animal shelter to see if you made a connection with any of the adoptable animals. It was going to be a good day. You could feel it in your bones. 

Once you were ready to go, you grabbed your pre-packed lunch from the fridge, along with your purse and the package for your mystery neighbor. Almost flouncing over to his porch because you were buzzing with energy, you hopped up the steps and set it on the front porch and center, in the middle of the doormat, topped off with a handwritten note introducing yourself. The mat was a generic one, and you did a little look around to see if you could find a name or any personal touches around the porch. But there was nothing - no clue as to who it could be. It was no matter, you told yourself, you would have your answers soon enough.

Giving the neatly wrapped container one last fond look, you headed to your car and off to work. Hopefully you’d be busy enough to keep your mind occupied. It was silly to get so invested in something so trivial and yet...here you were. An eternal dreamer and optimist at heart, just like you always had been, even as a teenager. Even if you had to suppress that side of yourself for some time, more so with each passing year, you were still the same girl underneath it all. 

The day felt like it had like it went by in a blur as you saw several of your regular patients, feeling like you were finally able to help them properly and give them your undivided attention. It went so well that you did manage to finish up early, which meant  you could have your fun and go look at animals. You knew it would be a challenge to meet different pets and not be able to take them all home, but you were willing to give it the old college try. 

You hadn’t bothered to stop home and change, opting to go straight to the shelter.

»»————-　♡　————-««

As soon as you'd gotten there and started looking at the different dogs, you knew it would be hard. 

So many of the sweet dogs came up to you, some wagging their tails in nervous excitement, some just beside themselves, but others were more reluctant, sitting and observing you. You went up to as many as you could, keeping a respectful distance from them and offering them your hand to sniff. A couple of them give you a few licks, letting you reach in and pet them, but getting distracted as soon as they spied other people. Sweet dogs, all of them, but those weren’t the ones for you. As you walked through the various dogs, you were disheartened to find that you didn’t seem to have a connection to any of them. You hoped they would go to good homes soon regardless. Maybe it wasn’t your day to find a companion, which was totally okay with you. You’d just come back some other day and make sure that one of them got a home in your adobe.

But as you neared the end of the last row, you stopped when you spotted a small dog, small for being a pitbull that was, sitting in the corner of her kennel, a sad, dejected look on her face. She was a pretty thing, light tan with white marking on her sweet face, but her eyes contained a deep sadness.

“Hi, sweet girl,” you said softly as you didn’t even hesitate to drop to your knees, dropping on the floor of the kennel, sliding a few fingers under the barrier keeping you from her, trying to coax her to you. She observed you with keen interest, but remained rooted in her spot, “you are so pretty! I bet you’re just as sweet too, aren’t you? I can tell…”

“She’s very sweet,” one of the shelter’s volunteers, a young boy by the name of Lucas that had let you in, said as he walked up to you, “but she’s really shy. She’s less than a year old, but she’s already had a go of it.”

“What happened to her?” you asked gently, keeping your voice down so you wouldn’t startle her, “she looks so sad.”

“She was abused by her former owner, sadly. They found her when they went to raid the owner’s home, apparently he was a small time drug dealer on top of it,” he explained and you made a small in the back of your throat as you just looked at her. It made your heart break to know that this poor animal, and so many others like her, were being abused for no reason - not that anyone, person or animal, should ever have been abused, “it’s made her shy, but she does warm up to people.”

“What’s her name?” you asked as she moved ever so marginally closer to you. You smiled at her, giving her an encouraging little nod.

“Daisy.”

“Daisy,” you called softly as her ears perked up slightly. It suited her, you decided, a soft pretty name for a pretty girl, “hi sweet Daisy. You are a big lovebug underneath it all, aren’t you?”

She turned her slightly to look at as you offered her a small, reassuring nod. 

“How about Miss Daisy Mae?” you asked her and you got a glimpse of her tail wagging ever so slightly, “yeah, I think that’s perfect too. May I pet you?”

It was silent, completely so sans for the other dogs in their kennels as you attempted to gain her trust. You didn’t want to scare her off, but you wanted to see if you could get her to come closer. Lucas told you could stay as long as you wanted, and you decided that you would do just that, plopping onto your bottom as you gently spoke to her. You spent some time sitting there, talking to her about anything and everything, and slowly, inch by precious inch, she came closer to you until she was just a few inches from your hand. When you moved your hand and she didn’t flinch, you gently petted her muzzle, tracing over it delicately with a few fingers. 

“You’ve been through a lot,” you mused quietly and she gently rubbed her head into your hand, “but you’ve got so much life left to live. So many happy things to come. Would you like to come home with me and see? I have a big bed that I have all to myself, and I could really use a companion to take up some of the space. Would you like to help me?”

She made a small sound as she looked up at you, her tail wagging ever so slightly. That was enough to convince you that you were making the right decision. Giving Daisy one last gentle touch, you slowly pulled your hand back to keep from startling her and jumped to your feet. She was yours, it hadn’t taken much to figure that out, and you were going to make sure she came home with you. 

Telling her you would be back in a little bit, you went off in search of Lucas, to tell him to get you all the paperwork so you could bring her home with that day.

»»————-　♡　————-««

As soon as Daisy was all yours, you’d set her up in your car, draping a big, soft blanket over the backseat for her. You were glad you kept one in your car for whatever occasion called for it; this was the perfect time. As soon as she seemed to realize what was happening, Daisy’s eyes had lit up and she already seemed like a different dog, her tail going softly, but nonstop as she stayed close to your side. 

You’d stopped by the pet store on your way home, bringing her in with you as you stocked up on the best dog food, treats, several big fluffy beds (one for each room of the house naturally), and let her pick out several toys. Whatever she wanted she got, honestly, and before you knew it before pushing a huge cartful to the counter to the pay. Daisy, now in a pretty yellow collar and leash, followed closely by your side, a little stuffed bear in her mouth. This felt so right, so natural, almost like you had meant to find her. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had felt this much joy in your heart, and you hoped the feeling would never go away.

“And this is where we live,” you told her as you pulled into the driveway, pulling up to the garage and turning off the car. She stood up and went to the window, looking out eagerly. Your break broke a little when you realize she probably never got to run and play like any puppy should, but you vowed to change that. You got and opened the door, not even bothering to stop her as she jumped out and started to sniff everywhere. 

Sighing contentedly at the sight of the happy dog, the one that had quickly turned from nervous to optimistic, you started to gather everything out of the car to bring inside. Daisy came back to your side, following you with keen attention as you opened the door to the house and let her explore. 

It wasn���t until your last excursion to the car to bring in the last of the toys, that your attention wandered back to your MIA neighbor. When you studied his house, you noticed that all the lights were off, and there was no car in the driveway. The package you had you left for him was still right where you had placed that morning. A small, dejected sigh left your lips as you quickly dashed over and retrieved the package. It was only slightly heartbreaking,  but you knew it wasn’t due to any fault of yours. But still...you couldn’t help but wonder. Who was he? Where was he? Maybe one day your questions would be answered, but at least for now you had your new friend to keep you company. Just as you thought about her, you heard a small, almost tiny bark from your door as Daisy poked her head out and looked excitedly at you.

“Coming sweet girl!” you promised her as you ran back over to her. This day was decidedly not a waste in the slightest, you reminded yourself, you had a new friend and that was more important than anything else.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Several more days passed, and Daisy adjusted to life with you without a hitch. She really was the sweetest girl you had met, and she had won a big spot in your heart, and bed, almost instantly. Gone were the cookies you had baked for the neighbor you thought might not actually exist, eaten with some milk as you watched Netflix late into the evening with Daisy snoozing next to you. 

Something though, whatever little stubborn streak you had, told you to keep trying.

So you did.

That night you dragged yourself back to the kitchen and repeated the painstaking process of making your now neighborhood famous cookies again. He was going to get these cookies come hell or high water. This time Daisy joined you in the kitchen and watched your every move intently, as you walked her through the process, giving her your best impression of some lofty Food Network chef. 

Just as you had previously done earlier in the week, you prepped everything and stuck the same note on the top, making sure it looked perfect. Even if it ended up as another batch that you would eat, you wanted to go through the efforts and ensure it was perfect. 

The next morning, you herded Daisy into the car, allowing her to come to your office with you. She had been enjoying coming to your office and greeting your clients, being a good girl and laying on her bed while you worked. Many of them seemed to find her comforting, and as thought she could sense when they needed something, which she probably did, she’d often go to comfort them with wet kisses and nuzzles. Ally had suggested that you look into her having certified as a therapy dog, which you decided was a perfect idea. 

You wandered over to his porch and left the little package again and turned to head off to work. Whatever was meant to happen would happen. So if he didn’t come and get the cookies, so be it. You’d stop worrying about it and let it go. 

When you got home that evening, you brought everything inside and let Daisy into the backyard to roam around before her dinner time, when you looked through the front windows to try and see your neighbor’s porch. You huffed when you came to the conclusion that you were at just the wrong angle to be able to see anything. Stalking out the front door to get a better look, you sighed deeply when the package was once again there. What had you really expected? You’d struck out for weeks now, the man was an enigma to yourself and everyone else around, it was a far cry that you’d ever really see him. 

Grumbling at yourself for being too hopeful and optimistic, you trudged over to his porch, ready to take the cookies back again and enjoy them for yourself. Maybe you could bring them, and Daisy, over to Eddie and see if he would enjoy them and the dogs would get along. It wasn’t terribly exciting, but it was something anyway.

You bent down to pick up the small container, ready to head back home and get on with your day. But just as you swooped up the container, you heard the door unlock, causing you to jump back in surprise, dropping the container and letting it clatter to the ground. You took a step back and looked up, finding the door open, but the screen closed. Squinting your eyes, you tried to make out the person on the other side but found it almost impossible. 

“H-hi,” you stammered nervously, hoping the person wouldn’t think you were stealing or snooping around, “I-I moved into the neighborhood a few weeks ago, and I was just...I made cookies! I was going to introduce myself but I hadn’t seen you or anything, so I figured I’d leave them for you. They-they’re not old though, I made this batch last night.”

Nothing but silence met your ears for several moments as you nervously picked up the container to display it for him. You were nervous suddenly, terrified that you had somehow offended him, or...something.

“I-I’ll get going,” you said as you set the cookies on the bench that was near the door. Unsure why you felt the need to keep speaking you gave him your name, letting it linger in the air for a moment, “I live right next door, so I guess maybe I will see you around. Yeah...well, umm...goodbye!”

But before you made it off the porch, you heard the screen door open, and swing shut. You swallowed the lump in your throat, ready to turn around and make a proper introduction when you heard your name whispered so quietly, that you thought you might have imagined it. That voice...that soft, gentle voice caused your heart to skip a few beats. You knew that voice. 

Turning around slowly, you came face to face with the man that had been on your mind for weeks. You brought your eyes up to the man’s face and a small gasp of surprise left your lips. 

“F-Frankie?” except this wasn’t the Frankie you’d known. No, this man was tired looking, nothing but sheer exhaustion on his face, dark circles, parched lips, no trace of facial hair, his hair flattened from what you knew was a signature hat. This was a different man, a world weary man, a man who you never intended on seeing again. But you knew that voice, you knew it so well, you’d recognize it anywhere, even after all this time. But there was something about him, how he was looking at you that broke our heart. 

He remained silent as his dark eyes watched you, wondering how and why on earth you’d ended up as his neighbor. It was like some force was at play, some weird thing that kept bringing the two of you together. 

He remained silent as the two of you looked at each other, his eyes quickly flicked to your left hand. You straightened up when you noticed that and got ready to walk away, unsure of how to feel in that moment. Once again, your life was thrown in a complete tailspin. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, unable to find any words. 

But before you could leave his porch, his hand went to your wrist, taking it gently in his large hand as you immediately turned around and gave him a wide eyed stare.

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you looked at him in silent question, and he did the same. 

This was Frankie - your Frankie. After all these years, he was still yours.

Before either of you could say anything, he gently grabbed your face and studied it for a moment before crashing his lips onto yours. It took a moment for you to react, and for a few beats before you kissed him back, not even having to think about it. But just as quickly as it had started you came to your senses and while part of you was screaming to continue to kiss him, the logical part of your brain took over and you pushed him away from you. Immediately realizing what you were doing, he let go of you and took a step back. 

“Don’t,” you insisted sharply, your voice crackling on the singular word, “don’t. You don’t get to do that. I shouldn’t have done that. Not anymore. Never again.”

Before he could say anything, you dashed away from him, running back over to your house. This had to be some sort of weird dream, surely life couldn’t be throwing another challenge at you. Surely you’d been through enough.

Surely you weren’t neighbors, after all this time and years, with Frankie Morales. 

Life couldn’t be that cruel...right?

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[lyallblacklupin]

Don’t miss the Yule Ball.

Sirius was already battling with their post break-up situation. He hasn’t moved on, but maybe Remus has, after the Incident with Snape. He has been forgiven by all of the Marauders, but he still doesn’t feel like going to the Yule Ball because he loves dancing a little too much, and to watch Remus dancing with someone who isn’t him is something he won’t be able to cope. He rather he will stay in than go and deal with another heartbreak. However, Remus encourages him to go to the Yule Ball. Is he giving Sirius a chance to improve their ties?

Tags: Post-Incident with Severus Snape, Angst with Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Trust Issues. 

Chapter 1

The distress was like a cold molten lava, spreading in Sirius’ chest to deepen the void that was already created inside of him. He could feel it. The hollowness around his heart, but simultaneously there was something heavy. Like a boulder, sitting at the top of his chest. There was exhaustion in his veins, plummeting his blood pressure that made him unlike the person he used to be: steady, hyperactive, and energetic. He didn’t know what he wanted, so he let life go through him. He thought he may never live, might as well survive because he was not ready to die yet. There was still hope. A newly aroused hope of getting his friends back in his life after the two and a half month of shutting out in consequential to the Incident with Severus Snape.

Three days ago, James and Peter had asked Sirius to come in the dorm when he had been sitting in the common room, literally, doing nothing but staring at the fire grates before him. All of the Marauders, including Remus, had gathered in the dorm awkwardly.

“Look, Sirius,” James had been the one to break the silence, and Sirius’ perplexity, “Whatever we have with you is just too real and close that—we cannot just see you being so…”

“Different.” Peter had said.

“Yes, different!” Sirius had never seen James so nervous, “And we know how sorry you are for what you did.” Sirius could distinctly recall that he had flinched at those words.

“So…” Remus had begun, not meeting Sirius’ eyes, “We would like to give you a chance.”

Sirius had expected himself to smile or laugh in happiness that finally his friends had decided to forgive him, but he didn’t—more like, he couldn’t. James and Peter had been staring at him with funny looks on their faces, while Remus had a tired look as if he had been forcefully asked to forgive him. Sirius didn’t even internally blame him for that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much this all means to me.” Sirius had said. He knew that time was the only key to slip into normalcy, so he went with the flow.

This time of the year, Hogwarts was illuminating with more candles, and stardust in every corridor. The lavatory sections had more irises and lilies, and the Library was filled with color-changing lanterns hanging in the mid-air. All of this was because of the Triwizard Tournament was being held, and the awaited guests from other wizarding schools were welcomed to avail the chance of becoming the lucky participant in the Tournament. The students from Drumstrang, and Beauxbatons were roaming around the decorated Hogwarts.

“They should see the real face of Hogwarts, dull and old-fashioned. Not the flowery one. That’s called deception.” Marlene commented, making everyone snigger around her. She never failed to catch attention.

“That’s called hospitality, Marls. Try to be positive.” Dorcas flung her arm around her to pull her closer so she kissed her cheek. Sirius tried not to look because it painfully reminded him of his rock solid relationship with Remus Lupin, before it crashed brutally after one reckless mistake. He rubbed his eyes because he felt tried. Again. He was tired all the time, but he didn’t like being in bed in odd hours. It made him feel useless.

“So, that means I get to take you as my date for the Yule Ball?” Sirius’ ears stood alerted at Marlene’s muffled voice in the crowd.

Of course, the Yule Ball. He loved going to the balls, and waltzing with the music. If there was anything the Black family had taught and he had loved, were the dancing lessons. He had always imagined holding a certain someone close to him, and waltz with them peacefully. This was his secret. He had never displayed it. After he had realized that he had a crush on Remus, he had always pictured him in his dreams, slowly swaying through the soft music. His hand holding Remus’ while his other one on his waist, leading him. He had never enjoyed dancing with girls. They were too small and delicate to hold, except Marlene who was tall and broad.

The night befell, and everyone filed to their dormitories from the Great Hall after the dinner. Sirius was quietly walking with the Marauders, highly tensed because he was in pace with Remus who hadn’t utter a single word to him since the forgiveness. James was loudly speaking as usual, his arm around Peter’s shoulder, while craning his neck in every angle to find a certain fiery red head in the flood of students.

“Evans! You and me to the Yule Ball, how does that sounds?” He called out once he had spotted her.

“Nauseating.” She replied, causing an eruption of laughter from the sea of student around them.

“Oh come on! You won’t regret!” He continued his show of stupidity but suddenly Sirius’ hand brushed the neighboring one, accidently. He and Remus responded at the same time by flinching away their hands.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Remus was scarlet in the face, and Sirius felt liked he had touched something electric. He could still feel the burning on his fingers. They walked in their respectful distance, and Sirius started to feel the same process of hollowness in his chest. He was sad. Very sad. They were never supposed to be like this. He missed Remus, but it all seemed like he had lost him forever. Remus had forgiven him, but not by his heart. And it was nothing but heart-breaking. Sirius felt a strong surge of emotion as if he was going to have breakdown in the middle of the staircase. He held the railing of the stairs, widening the distance between him and Remus. Sirius stopped there to breathe out, hoping his friends wouldn’t notice. However, his friends were nor heedless neither heartless. Specifically, Remus wasn’t.

“Sirius? Are you okay?” Remus retreated from the crowd to stand beside him. Sirius felt heated up, and not because he had any rage reserved in the corners of his heart or mind.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” He tried to act nonchalant, “You go ahead. I just need a break from the walking.”

“No, it is okay, I’ll stay with you until you are good to go.” Remus’ voice was very soft, and Sirius wished that he never leave him, even as a friend. Remus was too precious to lose. Sirius stayed silent. He kept breathing in and out, until his heartbeat became normal. Suddenly, he realized that the staircase was changing with a thud, signifying that all of the students were vanished and gone to their dorms, leaving Remus and Sirius alone.

“How are you feeling?” Remus’ wide amber eyes looked into the dull grey ones, probably for the first time in a longest while. Sirius smiled at the question. How was he feeling? He was feeling sad, useless, pathetic, sick, disappointed, and hopeless and so much that wasn’t easy to name or comprehend.

“I’m feeling better now.” He answered instead.

“Well, looks like it going to be a long detour since the staircase is leading to the third floor. Four floors away.” Remus’ mouth quirked up in an uneasy smile. Sirius smiled back at him as they both began to climb the stairs.

There was silence hanging between them. Surprisingly, it wasn’t uncomfortable to Sirius because he had nothing to say which made his mind a little less chaotic. He had tried saying everything to Remus; the fact how much he regretted his mistake, how much sorry he felt, how much he valued his relationship with Remus, how much unconditionally he was in love with him. All explanations had gone into vain. He decided he had nothing to say.

“Here,” Sirius looked to his side to see that Remus was offering him a goblet of water.

“What is that?” He asked.

“Just water. You need it.” Sirius wanted to slap himself. Of course, he knew it was water, then why asked?

“Thanks.” He took the goblet from his hand. His finger brushed with his that sent tingling feelings to his body.

“So, what are you planning for day after tomorrow?” Remus asked sheepishly, smiling half-heartedly, trying to make a conversation.

“What is on day after tomorrow?”

There is sudden pause, and Sirius had to look at Remus who seemed slightly taken aback.

“I thought you knew,” He mumbled under his breath, “I meant—the Ball. The Yule Ball. Are you going?”

An ugly feeling suddenly jabbed him in the stomach.

“Oh—that. I forgot, to be honest.”

Remus chuckled awkwardly.

“But—umm…” Sirius hesitated, “No, I don’t think I’ll be going.”

“Oh.” Remus became silent then.

They were now on the fifth floor corridor, chasing the giant staircase to lead them to the seventh floor.

“Any particular reason?” Remus piped up, and Sirius felt his lung was lacking air.

“I don’t like dancing.” He lied. And SHIT! He lied to the wrong person. Remus stared at him for a little longer as if he was scanning him.

“You don’t like dancing.” Remus said than asked.

“I don’t like dancing.” Sirius repeated, hoping that saying it again and again would become a truth.

“You don’t like dancing.” Remus repeated too, under his breath but Sirius had heard him. He knew that Remus had spotted the lie, and now Sirius Black was surely labelled as a liar.

“What about you?” Sirius asked to erase the discomfort in the air. They were still chasing the staircase.

“Yeah, I think I will.” Remus replied. Sirius nodded, repressing his sad loneliness, but Remus continued, “I think you should go too. The ball is just not about dancing. You don’t have to dance, just have some fun.”

Sirius smiled at him because Remus’ voice is cheerful and encouraging. Maybe he could go. Maybe this was the chance to heal things in their relationship. Maybe Remus was giving him.

He kept thinking, quietly until they were on the seventh floor. The portrait of Gryffindor Tower was before them.

“Just think about it, you know,” Remus said gently, “Banana Fritters.”

The portrait door opened, and the common room was empty. They climbed to the dormitory when Remus slowed his pace to stop before the door.

“After everything, all of us deserve some fun,” Remus spoke tenderly again, his eyes softening and a hint of smile on his lips. Sirius returned the smile, but it was painful. He couldn’t get a word out of him. They stood there facing each other before Remus came close, and gathered him in his embrace.

Sirius felt like he became numb, all of a sudden. He was there, under Remus’ arms. Wide-eyed, his body paralyzed, and his blood racing abnormally. Trying to process how, where, why and what just happened.

Suddenly, hot tears obscured his vision before they began streaming endlessly. Sirius didn’t remember if he brought his hands up to hug him back but he was able to feel Remus tightening his embrace. He sobbed into his shoulder, and Remus let him. That was enough. It had never felt so comforting.

Chapter 2

[dhwty-writes]

Keep You Warm

Day 2 of @witcher-and-his-bard‘s prompt challenge, huddling for warmth.

So, this turned a bit steamy in the end. Since I haven't written anything spicier than a tomato in ages, I am a bit confused as to how this happened. I looked away for two seconds and suddenly the bard was horny. Have fun!

Summary: It is snowing. Again. In spring. Jaskier is freezing his fucking balls of, thank you very much; and who is he to deny his witcher's request to sleep next to him? 

Warnings: mild sexual content

Read on AO3

It was cold. No, that wasn't quite strong enough of an expression. Jaskier was freezing his fucking balls off, in a cave in the arse end of nowhere no less, with no one but a grumpy horse and a grumpier witcher as his companions. Oh, right. And a damp fire that smoked more than it gave off heat or light.

He sighed and turned to his other side, sulking that he wouldn't find a comfortable sleeping position either. It had started out well enough, when he had found Geralt a whole month earlier than anticipated—he always was the first to set out on the Path, since Oxenfurt wasn't encased in ice and snow as Kaer Morhen was.

But it had been a warm winter with an early thaw and no sooner had he entered Kaedwen, he had felt two strong witcher-y arms lifting him up in their annual reunion hug. After a decent amount of complaints (squeals, Geralt insisted, the liar) and a maybe more-than-sufficing amount of alcohol to swap stories to (complaining about colleagues, students, and siblings, which were more or less the same for Geralt, but quite different for Jaskier), they had continued with their adventuring. And now- this.

One day they had been tracking a griffin and the next, BOOM, snow again. Snow! At the beginning of Birke! Not unheard of, of course, there was snow as late as Belleteyn sometimes, but still, this was outrageous. Because they weren't talking a few flakes barely encrusting the blades of the grass here, oh no! This was a twenty-to-forty-inches-situation they were dealing with here; Jaskier wasn't sufficiently equipped for that in the best of times and these were not the best of times.

He had been preparing for spring, and summer after! Wading through tepid creeks, enjoying a goblet of wine at the coast, those kinds of things. He had cropped trousers, silken doublets, sheer shirts through one could see every hair on his chest (with a witcher's eyesight, at least). But furs and wool? No, he didn't have any of that! That was all stored in his quarters in Oxenfurt, way too heavy to be brought along on the Path. In hindsight, that had been very stupid.

Geralt wasn't being helpful, either. At first the witcher had laughed and called him an idiot (the prick), and now he was getting grumpier and grumpier with every chatter of Jaskier's teeth.

He, of course, was fine, stupid witcher mutations. Well, and he did have sturdy boots and a real cloak, which promptly had been converted into Jaskier's with the first flake hitting the ground. Not that it made much of a difference. 'Fucking cock,' he thought as he pulled the coat tighter around his shoulders with trembling fingers.

He exhaled a painful breath and forced his eyes close again. He should try to sleep, he knew, come morning they had a long way ahead. And then he wouldn't notice the cold either, he hoped. On the other hand, he remembered Geralt telling him something about falling asleep when cold, something he couldn't quite remember-

"Jaskier," Geralt grumbled quietly from where he laid on the other side of the campfire.

"Y-yeah?" he managed to get out with his chattering teeth, and turned around to face him.

Geralt was propped up on one arm, studying him with a curious look on his face. This procedure continued for such a long time that Jaskier's skin began to crawl. He was just about to ask what exactly they were doing, when Geralt lifted his blanket a bit and jerked his chin to the side. "Get your arse over here."

Jaskier felt like he should protest the gruff order. In any other situation he probably would've protested. But fuck, it had to have been hours since he last felt his toes. If Geralt was willing to share his blanket with him, he wasn't about to object.

Getting up and walking the short distance over to him, was a bit of a chore, if he was quite honest. Especially since he was dragging his bedroll and useless blanket with him, while doing his best not to trip over Geralt's cloak or soak Geralt's woollen socks with slush.

When he was within an arm's width of his friend, it was the witcher who carefully laid out the bedrolls so that they were overlapping slightly and hopefully wouldn't slip apart to much while they slept, so that one of them ended up sleeping on the floor. Once Jaskier had sat down, it was also Geralt, who untied the cloak with deft fingers, who pulled their two blankets up to their chins and spread the cloak over them, too. "Sleep," he grunted.

Jaskier nodded obediently and closed his eyes, giving his best to do so, as he scooted as far away from his friend as their shared blankets allowed him. That wasn't quite as effective in terms of sharing body heat, but if a decade of travelling with Geralt of Rivia had taught him something, it was that, while the witcher was many things, a cuddler was not one of them. Jaskier doubted it would be any different in this completely unprecedented situation.

Imagine his surprise, when it was Geralt, too, who threw an arm over his waist to pull him close. Jaskier 'eep'-ed and Geralt 'hmm'-ed, and went ahead to press his forehead against the base of Jaskier's skull. "Stupid bard," he mumbled, "should've come over sooner. Can't have you die of hypothermia."

"A-alright," he managed through his still chattering teeth, "I-I'll k-k-keep that i-in m-mi-mind." At least now he was certain that his heart was still pumping blood through his veins. Quite thoroughly so. Gods, Geralt was bound to notice at this rate.

"Hmm," Geralt said again and propped himself up on his elbow again, frowning darkly down at him.

"Wh-what?"

"You're still cold."

Jaskier almost laughed. "Yeah," he managed to get out without being interrupted by his teeth. "It- It'll t-t-take a whi-while." Shucks, there went his record.

"Hmmm," he hummed even more displeased, his fingers twitching as if he wasn't sure what to do with them. Geralt tore his gaze away and hissed something akin to "Fucking fragile humans," before simply yanking his shirt over his head.

Cold or not Jaskier thought his reaction that could only be classified as 'bewildered, admiring staring' was more than justified. He caught the thought 'Oh, fuck me' flitting through his head and thanked all his lucky stars that he didn't utter them out loud.

Geralt tossed his shirt to the bedroll, to be used as pillow. He fixed him with a piercing glare and, oh, if Jaskier had been frozen before he was positively melting now.

He really tried not to ogle his friend. He really did. But he couldn't quite stop himself from raking his eyes over the bare torso before him that looked as if it had been sculpted by the gods and-

"Off," Geralt growled, pulling Jaskier's attention back to his eyes.

"I'm sorry, what?" he squeaked. He wasn't embarrassed to admit squeaking this time, thank you very much. Evidently, he had missed something.

"Off," Geralt insisted again, and tugged on Jaskier's collar.

"Umm-" His eyes bulged. 'Oh, shit.' His chances of surviving the night were sinking rapidly.

"Body heat will keep you warm," Geralt replied with a simple shrug. As if there was nothing much to sleeping arm in arm with your half-naked, very good looking... friend. As if that wouldn't lead to a whole host of other problems and-

Geralt raised and inquisitive eyebrow and Jaskier couldn't even finish thinking 'He's got a point' before he was divesting himself of his own shirt. His fingers were still numb, so it took a lot longer (and probably looked a lot less appealing) than normally, but before long Jaskier was shirtless, too, staring at Geralt with wide eyes.

He just huffed a breath—in... annoyance? Amusement? Who was Jaskier to judge—and lay down again, his arm outstretched for him. Jaskier gulped and stretched out next to him. Again, it didn't take long for Geralt's arm to settle on his waist, and oh, there was no chance he'd survive until sunrise. The cold forgotten, his nerve-ends ablaze; along the sparse points of skin-to-skin contact there was a delightful tingling, bordering on unpleasant.

"Sleep," Geralt mumbled again, his lips brushing against the bare skin of his shoulder.

Jaskier closed his eyes and breathed out a shuddering: "Fuck." Sleep, Geralt said? How the fuck was he supposed to sleep like that, with arousal coiling hot in his stomach. With a casual arm thrown over his waist, presenting a perfectly hold-able hand within grasping distance? With Geralt so close he could feel the heat emanating of his torso, so close he only needed to scoot back and tip his head up to have a wonderful neck exposed to him that basically begged to be kissed-

'Ah, shit.' He squirmed uncomfortably, in an attempt to hide his rather embarrassing predicament, that he knew to be futile. At least he had his back to Geralt, anything else would be truly mortifying. Still, he really hoped the witcher would choose to ignore it.

Apparently, the witcher knew no such mercy. He sighed deeply and—tightened? tightened—his arm around his waist. "Really, Jaskier?" He pressed his face into his neck and inhaled deeply. Jaskier imagined to feel his lips spread in a grin against his skin. "Now? You were chilled to the bone not half an hour ago."

Horrifyingly, he heard himself say: "Well, people change, Geralt, gods, keep it up." His mouth snapped shut as he became cognisant of the stupidity of his own words.

When Geralt didn't answer, Jaskier idiotically kept on talking: "You never would've noticed except for your stupid sense of smell." He rolled his eyes. "Really, what do you deem to be the appropriate reaction to- to-" He waved his hand around to encompass the absurdity of the situation. "-to this! Hm?"

Geralt, ever the conversationalist, replied: "Hm."

"My thoughts exactly," Jaskier huffed and crossed his arms. His heart was beating as if he had just completed an endurance run, and he heaved a few breaths to calm himself down.

The lack of response from Geralt was beginning to freak him out. Maybe he had underestimated the severity of this folly. Self-consciously he pulled up his shoulders. "Do you want me to leave?" he hazarded a guess. "So, um- so, I can do something about it?" 'And not bother you with it anymore,' his mind supplied.

No reaction. He closed his eyes. 'Look at the bright side, Jaskier,' he told himself. 'No reaction is better than reaction.' Yeah, it didn't convince him either. "Geralt?" he tried again.

The witcher hummed against his neck, his arm moving at a snail's pace. After an overabundance of hitched breaths and skipped heartbeats, there was a possessive hand splayed all over his stomach, and Jaskier thought he had finally an idea of what was going on in Geralt's head. "Do you-" He cleared his throat, there was really no reason to lead this conversation in a voice an octave higher than normally. "Do you want to do something about it?"

Geralt's arm twitched, still hesitating. "Do you want me to?" Geralt rumbled in his gravelly voice. The smallest of nods was all it took for him to pull Jaskier flush against him; albeit carefully and slowly so, as if any too sudden movement might startle him, scare him away.

"Well," Jaskier laughed nervously. "It might help to alleviate the awkwardness of this situation a bit," he joked, pressing back even further.

A gasp escaped his mouth when Geralt rewarded him with a roll of his hips for that, his hand ghosting over the front of his pants. "Y-yeah, I would very much like you to do something about it," he was quick to splutter.

"Hm." Oh, he was grinning after all. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing, and he was enjoying it. Jaskier was almost about to voice his complaints when Geralt's grip tightened even more, his hand steadily travelling lower, ghosting over his hips, splaying his legs, but never touching right where he wanted him to.

Jaskier sighed contentedly, as he tipped his head against Geralt's shoulder. Oh, the urge to pull him into a kiss was even worse than anticipated. "Geralt," he whined.

He chuckled quietly and dragged a rather toothy kiss over his shoulder. "Good?" he asked as his fingers ghosted over the front of Jaskier's breeches again.

The audacity. "Yes, good," he hissed, chasing the friction to no avail. "Would you get on with it, then? Else I might overheat."

Geralt huffed a laugh and retracted his hand back to his abdomen, rubbing infuriating circles right above his waistband. "Bossy," he commented, "and rude." After a moment he added: "Nothing's changed, then."

Jaskier had a thousand biting comments on the tip of his tongue, but a thumb slipping below his waistband reminded him that now was not the time. He held his breath, expecting Geralt to loosen the ties. Nothing happened.

Well. Good thing he wasn't above begging. "Please," he murmured, rolling his hips back, where Geralt was straining against his breeches. "Weren't you going to keep me warm?"

"I s'pose I was." Now that definitely was a kiss to his shoulder, followed by sharp nipping teeth. Geralt tugged at his breeches. "Off," he demanded again.

And, well, Jaskier was weak, and he was wanting; who was he to decline such an offer?

[hotchley]

For your 500 thing: 4 from the angst list with Hotch and anyone else, platonically? I like the prompts you've chosen too. Very angsty haha

Hehe thank you! I chose Reid, because it worked so... yeah. This is not to be seen as me infantilising Reid or as H Crit because it's not. People say things they don't mean when they're hurting. There will come a time when Reid doesn't hesitate and Hotch forgives himself. It's just not written here.

It went over 1.5k... let's just ignore that. Umm... Set sometime between Nameless, Faceless and Haunted. There's no real comfort.

4: "shut up! please. just shut up."

Trigger Warnings: past child abuse, intrusive thoughts, references to canon-typical events and violence

read on ao3!

With hindsight, moving Spencer to the same hospital as Aaron was not the smartest idea the BAU had ever had. Not when traumatic and painful events caused them to react in opposite ways. When Spencer was hurt, he didn't stop talking, so terrified that if there was even the slightest indication that he was weak, everyone would leave. And when Aaron was hurt, he completely shut down, still scared that making his existence known would lead to hurt.

But at the time, they had only been thinking of Derek. He had been running himself ragged, trying to manage the BAU in Aaron's absence, and caring for both his teammates who were in different hospitals, because he was coincidentally, the only person that either of them would listen to.

Perhaps they were more alike than anyone gave them credit for.

So Spencer was moved into the same room as Aaron, because when the team came, they came to see both of them, and it was apparently good for the two patients to socialise with each other and try to maintain their bond. At least, that was what everyone said to them. In reality, it was just easier to only have to have certain conversations once. Especially the ones about Foyet.

Because even though both of them would be out of the field for a while, and had lost so much of the independence they prided themselves on, the situations were not the same and they never would be. Spencer had been shot in the leg trying and succeeding in saving a man, and the perpetrator had been arrested. He had gotten justice.

Aaron had been stabbed nine times in his home, the place he had a right to feel safe in, by a man so evil that there was no chance of ever reasoning with him. Foyet had gotten away, and he'd taken Haley and Jack with him. The only people Aaron seemed to live for, were gone. He hadn't gotten any sort of closure. Nobody seemed to understand that, because everyone kept saying him and Spencer could relate to each other. But they couldn't. And he was sick of hearing it.

But he tried to hide that bitterness. Spencer wouldn't have been shot if he had been there. He would have been the extra set of eyes needed to finish the letters, and they would've worked it out sooner. They would've all been fine, if he had done anything other than frozen when the bullet wedged itself in the wall beside his hair, close enough to make his ear ring painfully. His anger was irrational, and the result of trauma. Everyone else understood his emotions were all-consuming and overpowering, but he didn't. To him, the anger and resentment were just another sign he was becoming his father.

He wasn't. But he would never allow himself to believe that.

Spencer knew that his and Hotch's situations were different. That Hotch blamed himself for what had happened to Haley and to him. That Hotch was hiding how he truly felt, probably to protect him. That things were going to explode sooner rather than later. He just didn't know how much sooner than expected it would end up being.

Rossi had swung by in the morning, and that visit had set Aaron on edge. Rossi was trying to help, he was, but his method of doing it wasn't helpful. It never had been. Not for someone like Aaron, who needed something that was not his best friend telling him how the BAU had been fine without him. Or how the children seemed to be fine. Or how victims could recover.

When Rossi left, Reid took the crutches beside his bed and hobbled over to sit in the chair that he'd vacated. They had both been encouraged to try and be mobile without going beyond their limit. Only Spencer had listened.

"If you want him to stop talking, you can always tell him," he said gently.

Aaron turned away. "He's just trying to help."

"But he's not. I think we can all see it."

"Spencer, I don't know what you're trying to do but-"

"I don't care if you resent me. I care that you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

"Really? So if I asked you whether or not you resent me, you could look me in the eye and say you don't? If I asked you whether you blame yourself for my injury, you would say no, and mean it? If I asked you who was responsible for Haley and Jack going into WitSec, you would say Foyet? If I asked you how you feel, would you say hopeless and angry? Would you?" He snaps.

Aaron stares, and Spencer feels the heat rise to his cheeks. Hotch is still his superior.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line."

"No, it's- you're right. I am lying. But-" he swallows, unused to being so vulnerable, especially with someone like Spencer, "I have to. Lie that is. I can't be honest. Not about this. Not with these feelings."

"Why? You've been put through horrific trauma. I think you're entitled to feel like shit. I feel like crap."

Aaron looks at Spencer, in all his hopeful innocence, and understands the subtle invitation to be honest for once in his life. To let someone else save him. To have a normal conversation, with no ulterior motives or secret conditions. To have someone just care for him because they love him, not because they want anything in return. It's that final realisation that makes him take a leap of faith.

"Because if I let myself feel the anger, I will never stop, and then I will never be any better than my father." The words taste like failure, and he hates himself for saying them as soon as they leave his mouth. Who is he, to do this to a subordinate? To make someone else take responsibility for his issues? He wants to take the words back as soon as realisation dawns on Spencer, but he can't.

All he can do is close his eyes, and pretend he is somewhere else where whatever comes next cannot touch him.

"You know those thoughts don't determine who you are," Spencer says, and nothing about his tone has changed. He still cares about Aaron. Aaron, who has to blink back tears because he always forgets how many terrible things this boy has seen.

He tries to tell Spencer to stop, that he doesn't deserve to be called a good person, but the words won't come.

"I can tell you don't believe me. Well let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a FBI agent that panicked so much during their gun qualification that they failed. And the man that had been practicing them, who had every right to lash out, just nodded and asked if it was his fault. If there was anything he could do to help. And then he trusted that agent with his life. Without hesitating," Spencer said. It felt like he was talking to Henry.

Aaron needs him to shut up. He cannot hear this story. It is his life, so he knows how it ends, but he cannot hear that ending right now. Not when the loss of his family is still so raw and painful. Not when it consumes his every waking moment.

"And after the case was over, he raced to the hospital, and he stayed in the waiting room until his son was born because he refused to leave his wife for a second longer than necessary, even though she had given her blessing multiple times for him to go save people. She said that he changed more nappies during his paternity leave than most men do in their lives."

"Spencer-" Aaron manages to say.

"Abused children can break the cycle. They have broken the cycle. They continue to do so. You said that once. Do you remember? You told Vincent Perotta that not every victim goes on to become a killer. Because some grow up to catch them and you are one of them, you just-"

"Shut up! Please. Just shut up." He doesn't mean to shout. He doesn't mean to make Spencer flinch. He doesn't mean to sound angry. He doesn't mean to say the words. He doesn't mean to do any of those things, but he does, and he won't ever forget how terrified Spencer looks.

He did that. He did that, with nothing more than his words, and he cannot believe what he has done, but he has, and it's a terrible thing. And everything Spencer just said has been disproved. Everything.

"I'm sorry," Spencer whispers, turning away.

"No. No, please don't be sorry. You've not done anything wrong. Spencer, look at me. Please. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did. Don't lie to me."

And Aaron has lied about enough. He won't lie anymore.

"I am sorry," he says, even though it won't ever be enough.

Spencer smiles slightly, but then he goes over to his own bed. He closes his eyes, and pretends to sleep. He carries on pretending when Aaron walks over for the first time in three days, and kisses his forehead, much like he always does for Jack. He carries on pretending as Aaron sighs, and whispers an explanation too honest for repetition.

Aaron truly is sorry. Spencer truly does forgive him. The words are never said again, not to him, but that's the worst part. No matter what either of them do, Spencer will always remember and hesitate, and Aaron will never forget or forgive himself.

[chibinekochan]

Valentine’s day taste testing - Ft. Mammon

As you all probably guessed, I planned to write something for this day.

So here's a fic featuring the winner of the poll from last week.

 I hope you enjoy your day!

 Gn. reader insert

2k words

---------------------------------------------

After gifting all the demons of your pacts your self-made chocolate there is only one more left.

  Mammon has been very elusive this entire day. 

Maybe he just doesn't know or care about Valentine’s Day? 

You are about to just hang his chocolate on Mammon's door when he suddenly opens it right in your face. 

"Oh hey… I was just about to go lookin' for ya. What a coincidence." Mammon is pretty surprised to see you. It seems like he is up to something. 

"I was looking for you. I have a present for you." You smile at him and hold the cute package of chocolates up. 

"Chocolate huh…" He huffs slightly. 

"Don't tell me you don't like chocolate?" You feel pretty dumb for not even considering this. 

"No, it's not that. I just know you gave some of these to everyone." Mammon puffs his cheeks. 

Now you see the issue. "Are you jealous?" 

"No-no, why would I be jealous? Like I don't get tons of chocolate from other people." Mammon pouts and takes the box anyway. 

"You sure are popular. I mean I called you, and you just ignore me and don't think that your chocolate is the same as everyone else's." Now you puff your cheeks. You put a ton of time and effort into the chocolate for Mammon. 

Now Mammon seems a bit ashamed of his words and opens the box. The chocolate all looks like gold coins and little cars. You clearly put a ton of effort into this. 

"Oh wow, these are so cool… I-I mean not bad at all." Mammon blushes and his voice slightly cracks. 

You smile nervously. "I hope you like them." 

"They are a fitting tribute to the great Mammon!" He gently puts them away in his room. You don't see any other chocolate in his room. 

"So what did you want from me?" Now you feel like bringing that up. 

"Ah yeah, I wanted to invite you to a taste test that I got invited to. You see, they want me to model for this chocolate brand. Especially their new line of coffee-flavored chocolate and so they thought it would be good for me to taste them first. They let me invite a person so, I figured I'd be nice and invite you." Mammon gives you this grand explanation. 

"That's very sweet of you Mammon. When is the taste test?" You are all into joining this event. 

"Well, it's today. I mean you probably got some other plans today. It's Valentine's Day after all." Mammon suddenly seems unsure. 

You hoped for Mammon to invite you to a date today but at least this means that you will spend the rest of the day together. 

"I have no plans so let's go!" You feel pretty excited, to be honest. 

Mammon is surprised. "You aren't going to flake out in the middle of it right?" 

"Of course not. I would never do that to you and happen to like chocolate." You also happen to like Mammon but don't mention that part. 

Mammon sighs from relief. "Great, then let's meet in an hour at the gate. I just gotta quickly do something." 

"I look forward to it." This is a great opportunity for you to dress something nice. You know it's not a date, but you still want to look nice for Mammon.

  With a bit of a beating heart, you arrive an hour later at the gate. 

Mammon is a bit late, he comes running from somewhere. 

"Sorry, it took a bit longer than I thought." He is completely out of breath. 

"It's fine I wasn't waiting for long." You don't mind, it'd just be a few minutes from now. 

Then Mammon notices that you changed. "Oh darn you are smoking… I mean you look good." Mammon clears his throat and corrects himself while blushing. 

You blush slightly at his words. "Thank you, Mammon."

"I should have dressed nice too." He mumbles under his breath. 

"Anyway, are you ready to go?" Mammon quickly gains his composure. 

"Yes, let's go!" You feel very excited by the prospect of new chocolate flavors and being with Mammon. 

Mammon leads you to a small cake shop. It seems closed, but Mammon has a key. "I got it from the owner himself." He makes sure that you know he didn't steal it. 

Somehow that thought hasn't crossed your mind at all.

  "He must really trust you." You smile.

Mammon blushes a bit and opens the door for you. Much like a true gentleman. 

It's a bit unexpected but nice regardless. 

The inside of the shop is cutely decorated. 

It's a bit more romantic than expected but very nice regardless. 

You can see a small table in the middle of the shop with several plates with an assortment of cutely shaped chocolates. Some of them look a bit crooked but very nice overall.

  "Go ahead and sit down. I will get us some coffee, or do you want something else?" Mammon naturally plays the host. 

Strangely, there is nobody here serving you two. Not that this is a bad thing. It makes this whole event even more romantic. 

"Coffee sounds perfect." You agree on the coffee and sit down.

  While taking a closer look at the chocolates, they look suspiciously self-made. 

Is this because they are samples? 

With some anticipation, you wait for Mammon to return. 

He comes back with a small tray with cups and a can of coffee. He looks like a real server.

  "Here you go, anything else that you need?" Mammon sounds like he has said this many times before. It's surprising to you. 

"I'm good, thank you." You smile at him. 

Mammon sits down across from you. He seems a bit stiff. 

"This place is very nice. I'm surprised we got it all to ourselves." It's pretty unusual but ingresses the romantic feeling a lot.

"I'm glad you like it." Mammon smiles slightly nervous. "You should try some chocolates." He shoves a plate in your direction. 

"Don't mind if I do." You choose a piece and plop it into your mouth. You take its taste in and let it melt for a while before chewing the rest of it. 

"This tastes so great." You didn't expect it to taste so good. "It tastes just like human world chocolate." This is very special to you since human food is so rare in the devildom.

  Your face lights up from joy. 

Mammon seems to relax from that sight. "I'm so glad that you like it." He gives you a big smile. 

"You should try some too." There honestly is so much that it would take Beel to finish it all. 

"I will just gotta enjoy some coffee first." Mammon gently waves you off. 

This is pretty strange, you would think he would be all over this. 

You drink a sip of coffee as well. It fits the chocolate very well. You take another piece, under the watchful eyes of Mammon. 

He looks embarrassed away once you look at him. That causes you to giggle slightly. 

Mammon huffs slightly.

  You decide it's about time for Mammon to try some delicious chocolate as well. You take a piece between your fingers. 

"Say Aaaah." You hold it in front of Mammon. 

He blushes even more than before. "H-hey what are you plannin?"

"I just want to give you a taste." You smile at him. 

"I can eat just fine all by myself." His blush only gets worse.

"Just open your mouth." You move the chocolate in front of him.

"F-ine but you better not do this with anyone else." Mammon pouts slightly and then opens his mouth. 

Carefully you feed him a piece of chocolate. 

"Don't worry you are the only person that I'm feeding." You giggle. 

"How is it?" You crook your head. 

"Pretty okay… Just sad that it wasn't the one you made." He mumbles the second part. 

"Maybe next time." You smirk slightly. 

This causes Mammon to almost choke. 

"You shouldn't say things like that." Mammon huffs.

  You eat another piece of chocolate. 

It's so good but by now you are pretty sure that these aren't part of some taste test. 

"Mammon be honest this isn't a taste test right? 

He sighs." I knew I couldn't hide it from you."

"You made these chocolates all by yourself too, didn't you?" You have a pretty strong feeling about this. 

"You can tell because they aren't that good?" Mammon looks slightly defeated. 

"No, they are great, even better now that I know. This must've taken forever to make." You are impressed, to say the least. 

This gives Mammon a great boost of confidence. 

"Well of course they are great, being made by me. It might took me a month to learn, and I had to work pretty hard at this place for it." Mammon boasts proudly. 

"You did all of this just for me?" You blush, this is such a sweet gesture. And here you thought Mammon wouldn't care at all about Valentine's Day. 

"W-well I mean… I just wanted to make some money, and it just happened to be here and then I just somehow spent all month making chocolate. It's not like I only did it to make you happy." Mammon awkwardly tries to make some excuses. 

"You don't need to cover the truth if you are being so sweet, you know." You can only shake your head. 

"Umm, so you really like this?" Mammon is very embarrassed. 

"Of course I do. Nobody ever did anything this awesome for me. Now I feel bad that I only made chocolate for you." You are very happy about all the work that Mammon put into this. 

"I'd only do something like this for you and that chocolate you made for me is more than enough for me. Even when you also made some for my brothers." Mammon is bothered by this. 

"I only made that extra chocolate because Beel noticed me making some and then Satan noticed. It was pretty clear that they would be hurt if they didn't get anything, so I made some for everyone. The only one I actually wanted to make valentine's chocolate for is you." You feel a bit shy after confessing that. 

"They really can't take a hint." Mammon sighs. "I can't blame you for this in that case." Mammon is still upset, but you are glad that he can see your side. 

"I'm glad you understand. I was a bit disappointed that you didn't ask me out today." You decide to be completely honest with Mammon. 

Mammon widens his eyes. "You wanted to go out with me?" He is so surprised that he is very straight forward. "I should've just invited you instead of being sneaky, but I thought you wouldn't care."

"Of course, I care for you Mammon. I like you and spending my Valentine's Day with you is something that I really wanted. I just wasn't sure if you would be up for some romantic stuff like that with me." You feel a bit nervous telling him all of this. It just seems right to be open to him. 

Mammon seems to be very taken aback by your confession. He seems unsure what to say. Then he clenches his hands. 

"I would be very much open to doing some romantic stuff with you." He speaks unusually quiet. Like he is admitting to a huge secret.

  You had some vague idea that he is interested in you but Mammon saying this so openly is still surprising. 

You blush a little and smile. Losing your words for a moment. Then you get up and in a spur of the moment decision, you walk over to the very surprised Mammon. 

He looks at you with a mix of confusion and anticipation when you lean down to him.

Then your lips meet his. It's a very sweet kiss. It just feels so right that it's a longer kiss than you planned for.

  Your heart is going crazy. 

When your lips part Mammon is bright red and looks slightly confused but also very happy at the same time. 

It almost looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. 

So you give him another kiss, you mainly just really want to kiss him again. 

This time Mammon leans into the kiss and even pulls you a bit closer. 

He is very eager to get more kisses. 

You break the kiss when you need to breathe. 

You both smile at each other, very happy with this date.

  Obey me! Masterlist

[writing-gifts]

okay im back with the 7th part of the incubus!doppio au! this chapter is really long compared to the other ones!

also I made the decision to make reader asexual in this story, I mentioned it on my blog already but saying at again since it’s mentioned this chapter. so there definitely wont be any smut in the future 

AO3 Link

List of parts

@wasabi-mommy @mistabrainr0t @the-average-mastermind 

-----

It’s been 2 weeks since you last saw Doppio. He was most definitely avoiding you since you snapped at him, kind of. You realized you had upset him right after it happened too, but you didn't expect him to stop visiting because of it.

So when you weren't at work or trying to socialize with coworkers, you were by yourself. Being alone wasn't necessarily bad, but the whole time you'd end up dwelling on Doppio and stressing yourself out.

You tried to consider the positives, which there was one; Diavolo hadn't shown up either. But still, you missed your friend. And at this point, you were fed up with your thoughts going in circles. So instead of moping around your living room today too, you decide to go to the only other person you know nearby.

Retracing the steps you took with Doppio to get back home after your visit with the local witch--Was he the only witch in this area? You didn't know--you find your way back to the clearing in the forest with the giant lake and cabin.

Bruno looks surprised to find you at his door but lets you in. “I wasn't expecting you to come back.”

You shrug.

"By the way--" he says, "--it would be best not to wander too much in this forest. Many fae reside deeper within it and we don't want you running into any of them."

You nod since you didn't plan on going anywhere you hadn't been shown before anyway.

The comfortable looking couches around the fireplace are just what you need after that long walk. But as soon as you fall back into one of the loveseats, something sharp pricks your ass.

"Ow!" You shoot up and turn around. "What the hell…?"

A small pin you hadn't noticed was already occupying the seat. You pick it up and when Bruno sees what's in your hand he sighs.

"Okay, which one of you did it?" He sounds exasperated but stern.

There's no response and you wonder if the witch is talking to himself.

His brows furrow and he frowns, clearly frustrated by something.

He takes the pin from you. "Sorry about that ____."

"Uhh, it's fine? Accidents happen." You make sure there's nothing else in the seat and sit down. "...Who were you talking to?"

"My kids."

"You have kids?" You have never heard any noise or seen anything in the house that would imply that. Were they hiding?

Bruno drops the pin in the drawer of the small, wooden table next to the couch. He then takes a seat in the loveseat across from yours. “Well in a way. It's more like I just let them reside here.”

You were still confused but Bruno continues speaking before you can inquire more.

"Why'd you decide to visit?"

"I'm going to be honest. I was feeling a little lonely."

"No visitors?"

You rub at your arm and your slight frown becomes a full pout. "Yea…"

You didn't even have a certain cat anymore to help break the silence at home. Of course you weren't going to admit that part.

"Well that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"No. I already told you I want Doppio to stay with me, so it actually is."

Bruno hums. "I'm just trying to help you ____."

"You think you're helping me? Things don't have to go your way you know."

The witch looks completely unfazed by your words. “One day you'll understand and hopefully without you getting hurt.”

You deeply exhale. Talking to Bruno reminded you of a brick wall and you couldn't even find it in you to get mad.

"Wow…"

He raises a brow. "What?"

“You're stubborn as hell.”

"The same goes to you."

The two of you are quiet after that and the witch watches you. You felt like he was trying to see into your head and it made sitting still hard.

“Do you need something?” you ask.

“You're the one in my house ____.”

“Yea but you don't have to stare so hard...”

“You came here for another reason. Tell me.”

Caught off guard you take longer than usual to respond. You didn't know how Bruno could tell but it was best if you just said what you needed to instead of beating around the bush.

"Okay...I did. I was wondering about the exorcism, but not for Doppio--for Diavolo." You look down at your lap. "Do you think it's possible to exorcise him without hurting Doppio? I'm not even really sure how their whole situation works to be honest.”

You look to Bruno wondering if he had any answers.

"....A demon possessing a demon--that's what's most likely happening."

"Huh? That sounds strange."

"It is very peculiar, but I can't say it's impossible. So maybe there's a way to do an exorcism like you wanted."

Bruno's familiar swims by, above the fireplace and his eyes follow the eel. "Leone told me you two don't get along," he mentions.

"Me and Diavolo? Well yea. I'm sure you know he wants to kill me."

"Yes." His eyes land back on you. "That's why I'm not completely onboard with your idea."

"Okay but don't you think it would be better to at least get rid of one demon who definitely wants to hurt me instead of none?"

"I can't guarantee it; there's a chance it won't work and we'll only piss him off. Then you'd possibly be in more danger. It would make more sense and be much easier to get rid of both of them."

You frown but you weren't giving up. "Diavolo already has it out for me though. So not trying because of that is kinda pointless."

The rebuttal you just gave was weak and you weren't sure you could come up with anymore. So the longer Bruno takes to reply the more nervous you become.

"Listen, I'm not saying I'll do this but I'll at least look into it," he finally says.

You perk up. Even though you couldn't say he seemed convinced, you could at least work with it!

"T-Thank you! I'll even help!" You stand up eager to start. "Where do you want me to look first?" you ask.

From then on, you spend your off days at Bruno's home looking for any information about exorcism within his many books. A lot of which were in languages you didn't understand.

Surprising to you, Bruno turns out to be pretty good company when he isn't actively trying to get rid of Doppio. And you quickly find yourself enjoying coming over. It was the perfect distraction too.

You also now had the chance to really take in how cool the witch's house was. It felt like you were at the aquarium whenever you walked through it! So at first, you did a lot of that whenever you needed a break. Bruno's familiar which you found out was named Angeela, would swim along with you and keep you company. And even though there were no other fish it was still really relaxing.

But soon, strange things started to occur. Doors closing behind you. Items falling on top of you. It happened one too many times and started to freak you out so you brought it up with Bruno. It seemed to stop right after that though so you shrugged it off and decided to focus more on researching from then on.

During one of your visits, you focus a little too hard and accidentally end up staying too late. And there's no way for you to traverse back home safely so Bruno insists you stay in the spare guest room.

After dinner, you're ready to quietly head to bed for the night, but while you're cleaning your face, Abbacchio walks into the bathroom.

You raise a brow at the cat. You'd only seen hints of him this whole week. "What the hell?"

"Is there a problem?" The cat jumps up on the counter barely looking your way.

"Yea, you just walked in here without warning. What if I was changing you weirdo?"

"Then you wouldn't have left the door cracked open."

You roll your eyes and go back to what you're doing. "Where did you even come from?"

"None of your business. You don't want me around you anyway so it shouldn't matter."

"I said my house. I don't care what you do outside of it."

You wash off your hands and grab the tooth brush Bruno gave you. It's quiet except for the sink water running and the sound of you brushing your teeth. But you feel like you have to talk with Abbacchio in the room.

You spit in the sink. “Umm...is there something you need from me?”

The cat’s tail twitches before he answers. “Just making sure you don't do anything stupid."

Your lips purse. You were literally just trying to get ready for bed.

"Okay?" You go back to brushing.

The cat huffs. "You should stop trying to keep Doppio around. You're literally wasting time--"

“Ah, that's why you came in here," you interrupt through a mouthful of foam. You spit. "....I don't understand why everyone keeps doing this.”

"Doing what?" The cat sounds and looks irritated.

"Telling me this and that! I'm going to stay with Doppio and nothing you, Bruno, or Diavolo say is going to chase me off."

You expect to get lectured some more but Abbacchio glares at you. "Please don't tell me you aren't actually in love with him?" he asks.

"What are you talking about? I just want to stay with him because we're friends."

"You barely know him. It must be 'love'...or lust."

You shake your head. "Lust's definitely not it."

Abbacchio tilts his head but you weren't exactly in the mood to explain asexuality right now, especially to a feline, so you leave it at that and go back to brushing your teeth.

He squints at you. “Okay then. You're definitely in denial about your feelings though.”

"Can't friends care about each other--"

"Yes but that takes years. You're ready to throw your safety to the wind for someone you've known for a few months. You need to be careful before this crush gets out of hand."

You let out the most frustrated sigh. "Doppio wouldn't hurt me. I trust him."

"Hmph, you don't even understand this world but you think you know better."

You pause unsure how to respond. You wanted to say something back but he unfortunately had a point. This supernatural stuff was still new to you and you were honestly processing it kind of slowly.

Since you knew you weren't getting in the last word with Abbacchio and you were tired of being scolded by a cat, you rinse off your toothbrush and leave the restroom.

----

You open your eyes and stare at the unfamiliar ceiling for a several seconds before getting out of bed. You forgot to bring a glass of water with you and there was no way you would be able to get back to sleep with such a dry throat. So you creep out of your room.

The blueish glow from the tanks help light your way down the hallway to the kitchen. You see Angeela pass by before turning back and swimming along with you.

You smile before whispering. "Just getting water.”

The eel continues to follow you all the way to the kitchen. You rub at your arms once you enter to fend off the unusual chill in the room. Unfortunately, this was common in Bruno’s home. You suspected a draft problem but the witch didn’t seem to care.

Angeela swims out of view while you hurry and look for a glass so you can get back to your warm bed.

Once you find one in the cupboards, you fill it with water from the sink's tab and quench your thirst before filling it again. You move to leave but stop at the kitchen's entrance and look back at the refrigerator. You might as well eat something while you’re here.

Ready to grab the leftover food Bruno made for dinner, you open the fridge and scream. The glass you’re holding falls from your hand and shatters on the floor. And you slam the fridge door shut.

Abbacchio’s the first to appear in the kitchen. “There better be a good reason you’re yelling!"

“Something in the fridge--A HEAD--I don't know!”

Right after that Bruno rushes in. “What's wrong ____?”

“Something weird in the fridge--a head! I was just looking in the fridge because I was kinda hungry!”

Bruno pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fugo and Narancia come out now!”

A second passes before something phases into form in front of the annoyed witch. Then right after something small and sparkly flies out from behind the dish rack next to the sink. But you've barely registered the second thing cause there’s a little ghost kid standing there!

He had a tealish glow and you could see right through him.

A shiver runs up your spine and you want to run out of this cabin.

“Do either of you want to explain why ____ says they saw a head in the fridge?” Bruno asks. His breath is visible from how cold it's gotten.

The ghost looks down at his feet avoiding eye contact. The glowing light next to the ghost didn’t seem keen on answering either.

“Brats,” Abbacchio says before walking out of the kitchen.

"Narancia t-told me to…" the ghostly child's voice sounds watery and distant.

Bruno sighs before looking at you. “I’m sorry.”

“I...It’s okay,” you lie.

And you guess Bruno can tell because he stares at you strangely before speaking again. “Well I suppose I should introduce you to them since we all are here. This is Fugo." He points to the ghost. "And this is Narancia.”

You risk getting closer to the glowing small creature flying in the air and realize that they look like a shrunken child with wings.

“A...pixie?” you ask. You can barely believe your eyes but should you be surprised at this point?

"I think...I need to go to sleep," you say.

“Okay,” Bruno says, understanding. “Are you sure you're fine?”

“Uh huh.” You’re about to speed walk to the guest room, but remember the glass on the floor.

“Oh wait do you have a broom?" you ask the witch. "I-I'm sorry…”

“I'll take care of it.”

You nod and go back to your room. You wouldn't be wandering around Bruno's home again at night, if you ever stayed the night again that is.

-----

When you open your front door to walk out, you immediately tense up in surprise. Doppio's standing there, holding the key you gave him.

"Doppio!"

" ____--"

The both of you stop talking.

The incubus frowns and fidgets with the key in his hand. "Er ____...I'm sorry for keeping things from you! I really missed you.”

You hum but can't get any words out. For some reason you felt uncomfortable and timid.

“____?”

You clench your hands next to your sides and force yourself to speak. “I shouldn't have said what I did and especially not that harshly. I-I'm sorry and I missed you too.”

Doppio seems to relax but you stand in place awkwardly, struggling to make proper eye contact.

“That's okay ____. I understand why you were upset.”

"Yea but still…"

"Um, is it okay if we hug?" Doppio asks.

His expression is shy but he doesn't look away which makes you smile. You nod and open your arms. Your friend walks into them wrapping his own arms around you and giving you a squeeze. He smells like something sugary but you can't place it.

Once you're satisfied, you let your arms drop and pull away from the incubus.

“Do you want to come inside?”

He tilts his head. “Weren't you heading somewhere though?”

“I can go later. It’s not urgent.”

Doppio nods and walks past you inside. You shut the door and the two of you sit down on the couch.

“So what were you up to the last several weeks?” A question that you hoped would make any left over awkwardness disperse.

“I was on business for the boss.”

“Of course...Maybe he’ll finally stop being so angry with me.”

Doppio looks confused before his eyes widen, "Not that type of business!"

“Oh! What type of stuff then?"

"Um...making sure people stick to agreements. I don't think you'd want me to go into detail."

He gives a bit of a forced laugh. So you move on.

"Hey, you're okay right?” you ask.

“Hm?”

“Like you're not dying or anything? Diavolo said you would just lose your powers, but I just want to make sure.”

“Oh that. Yeah, I'm okay! I don't need sex to stay alive...”

You nod. “I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around this incubus stuff--well demon stuff in general." You suddenly remember the events that happened at Bruno's house recently. “Actually, supernatural stuff overall. Soooo...just wondering, is it possible to exorcise a demon out of a demon?”

He grimaces slightly. “____, what are you trying to do?”

“I'm just speculating, but maybe we could get rid of Diavolo.”

Doppio's eyes widen. "N-no way. Why?"

”Don't you want to? He's literally leeching off of you.”

You liked Doppio...a lot and you wanted him to stay by your side but dealing with his alter ego frankily sucked. You had been able to tolerate him (barely) but after not having him come in and threaten you for the past couple weeks, any qualms (if there were any to begin with) about getting rid of Diavolo were gone. You just needed to get Doppio onboard.

“I don't know…I know he can be a lot but he's not all bad.”

You stare unbelieving at him. “Doppio, I think you might be codependent. He's literally the worst type of person.”

He avoids your eyes. "Well technically he's not even a person--"

“Demon whatever, he still sucks.”

"I don't think this is a good idea ____. He might be listening right now!"

That wasn't about to stop you. And even though Doppio didn't like to act like it, he had more control over this body than his "boss". The fact that Diavolo hasn't appeared to rip you apart proved that.

“If it doesn't work you can put all the blame on me. He won't hurt his own vessel anyways.”

“I'm not worried about me ____."

You smile a bit at his concern. "If we get this to work then you'll never have to worry about me."

Doppio sighs. "I guess...How are you even planning to do this?”

“Well, I've been visiting Bruno while you were gone.”

The incubus immediately looks disgruntled.

“Don't make that face okay. I actually managed to get him to consider doing things a different way.”

“B-But what if he's just using this as a way to get our guard down?”

“We are just researching. I haven't agreed to anything just yet. I really just want to know if it's possible…And wouldn't it be nice to have your own body?”

Doppio nods but still looks unsure.

“So let's just see what happens?” you say hoping to give him that little push he needs.

"Well if it's just research...it can't hurt to look into it?"

You nod and smile. “Right! I'll let you know if anything comes up.”

[lunar-girl-fic]

Stuck~ Part 3

Warning: None (If there’s any I would greatly appreciate it if someone told me :))

Y/N POV

Word Count: 1199

A/N: In no way am I condoning nor am I glorifying the behavior displayed in this story. It is purely fiction and I based this on experiences from my personal life and others I know. With that being said, if you are in a relationship with someone who does something to you without your consent and they put the blame on you I would advise you to reconsider your relationship with that person. In general it’s not really a healthy relationship and it may worsen. I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do I’m just giving honest advice I wish I heard when I was younger.

A/N: I’m so sorry for the late update. I haven’t written in a while and getting my brain to switch back into writing took a little time. I think there should be one last part to this and most likely be a little longer than the others. I’ll try to start writing it starting tomorrow or at least until my air condition is fixed. Again I’m sooo sorry for keeping you all waiting :(

"Y/N noona would you like to go on a date with me?"

Were the words that played through your head as you were getting ready for your date. Date? Yes, you agreed to go out with Changkyun. Even though at first you felt like you were betraying Wonho you quickly remembered he already moved on so what was the harm in you doing the same.

You decided to wear a hoodie and jeans since you guys weren't going anywhere fancy. You also didn't want to attract the attention of certain people who make it their life's work to know every single thing about an idol.

Glancing at the time you realized it was time to make your way to the location. You told Changkyun not to pick you up just in case sasaengs’ or dispatch were following him and you certainly did not want them knowing where you lived. The place wasn't too far so you opted to walk there to blend in with the crowd that would be in the area of your date. The restaurant Changkyun chose was small but also provided private dining areas for families or the occasional idol who wanted privacy while dining.

It didn't take long for you to get there. By the time you arrived Changkyun was already in the room so all you had to do was have the waiter escort you to the room. When you walked in he immediately raised his head to see who entered and he smiled widely.

"Noona! You came." He said as he grasped your hand to guide you to the seat in front of him.

"Of course I came, I did say I would? And please don't call me noona, makes me feel old." You joked.

"Sorry bout that noo- Y/N"

"It's fine Kyunnie"

There was an awkward silence. Before you broke up with Wonho you used to hang out at the dorms a lot. One would think that with the amount of time you were at the dorms having a conversation with Changkyun would be easy at this moment. The problem was that every time you went to the dorm Chankgyun would only greet you and say nothing else. Which is why you are having a hard time thinking of a topic to talk about since you knew absolutely nothing about him.

"So umm how's everything going?"

"I guess everything's going well. Comeback just finished so were able to finally get a breather."

"Oh yeah, you told me about that the other day at the shop. How was it?"

"Eh it was okay. Not gonna lie it was quite possibly the most strenuous dance we had to do. Even Shownu hyungs back started to hurt again because of it."

Your eyes widened in shock, "Is he okay!?"

"He's doing much better now with therapy and all. Doctor said he should be able to continue dancing within a week or two."

"That's good."

"Yea..."

Cue the awkward silence except this time you knew Changkyun wanted to ask you something but was hesitating for some reason.

"Soo is there anything you wanna ask?"

"Kind of but I'm not sure if it's appropriate to ask..."

"Well... we won't know unless you ask."

He took a deep breath, "Okay so I really hope you won't take offense to this but why did you just up an leave Wonho hyung?"

You were a little shocked by his forwardness but quickly regained your composure. "I left because he was being selfish."

"Really?"

"Yea... did he tell you something different?"

"Well-uh-he-I" He started stuttering while playing with his hands.

You gently grabbed his hands, "Changkyun, if you don't want to tell me that's okay. But I promise I won't get mad at you."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." You said as you intertwined your pinkies.

Changkyun let out a deep breath "He said that you left because you were being selfish."

"Selfish how?"

"You didn't want to have any babies with him and wasted his time. That you could've told him at the beginning of the relationship before things became serious. How whenever he mentioned wanting to start a family with you, you never mentioned that you didn't want to have any kids. He pretty much put the blame all on you."

You sat there soaking in everything he just said. Although you promised not to get mad you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of anger. How dare he blame? Especially after what he did? You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn't realize your anger was starting to show in your body language.

"Uh Y/N? Are you angry? Aw man I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I know I just ruined our date for sure." He whined.

You were snapped back into reality, "Kyunnie I'm not angry at you."

"You aren't?"

"Nope."

"But are you angry in general..."

You scoffed, "Oh absolutely. I am beyond pissed. If I was a cartoon I wuld probably have smoke coming out of my ears."

"... So your that mad huh?"

"Yepp"

"Does that mean our date is over?"

"I wouldn't say it's colmpletely over, we can still continue our date today just right after a little intermission."

He looked at you dumbfounded, "I may not go on dates often but I'm pretty sure intermissions aren't normal."

"Since when did any of you do "normal" things"

He took time to think "Mmm you right... So what were planning on doing?"

“Going to the dorms to confront him."

Changkyun looked at you like you grew two heads "You're gonna do what now?!"

"I'm going to the dorms to talk to him."

"Yo- you can't do that!”

"And why not?"

"Be-because..."

"Because what?"

"Well... because... you just can't. And I'm pretty sure he didn't mean what he said."

"And exactly how did you come to that conclusion."

"When he said that he was sad and angry. He wasn't thinking right."

"Angry or not he shouldn't have said those things. But for now I'll take in what you said and listen to his side of the story before making any irrational decision."

There was a brief silence before Changkyun broke it. "So I'm guessing our dates over."

"Unfortunately for now it is but I promise to make it up to you. I really wanna get to know you more." You said with a shy smile. Truth is you actually did want to get to know him better. He seemed like such a sweet guy who is obviously different than Wonho and it was welcomed change for a relationship.

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course."

Changkyun called the waiter and payed for the drinks. He then called his manager and explained the situation which he surprisingly agreed to give you a ride to the dorms. It didn't take long for him to arrive since he was waiting in the parking lot.

Once you got settled in the vehicle you started thinking about how to confront Wonho. Your stomach started to hurt due to the anxiety you were feeling. You should've thought this through before you made any decisions but it's now or never ...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the photo’s of gifs used. I got them off of google and tumblr.

[robinrunsfiction]

Hello!! Could you write a vampire gerard x reader one day..? And it's kind of fluffy with Gerard being overprotective or jealous? If so thank you and have a good day!!

Vampire-tine’s Day 2021 - Day 2

Pairing: Vampire Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~2,000 Author’s Note: When I started this request, I kinda missed the “fluffy” part and the beginning part was angsty AF. But! Luckily I have @mariawritesfanfic in my life (for like a billion reasons) who gave me an idea, direction, and helped me basically get this story where it is today! Hope you all enjoy! Also sorry it’s late, I didn’t intend to put this one up tonight, but I failed to get the one I meant to post today done sooo

It was another bitterly cold night, but Gerard couldn't feel it, and it didn't matter anyway. What mattered was him was making sure (YN) got home safely. He watched from the shadows and the rooftops as she approached her building, but in the distance Gerard heard something that caught his attention. In a flash, the monster was in front of her fangs gleaming and Gerard launched into action as well.

“Don’t touch her,” Gerard snarled as jumped in front of (YN).

“I won’t hesitate to go through you to get to her,” the vampire snapped back. “I want a fresh meal, and this one smells delicious.”

Gerard heard a small whimper behind him before he threw himself at the offending creature. It wasn’t long before the monster, weak from hunger, gave up, running off to tend to his wounds.

“(YN),” Gerard murmured as he turned to find her still frozen in fear, hands clasped over her mouth, eyes wide.

“Ge-Gerard?” She stammered. “Gerard, what was that? What are you?!”

“I can explain, but let’s get inside before he comes back. Can I come inside with you?”

(YN) nodded as she reached in her bag with shaking hands to pull out her keys.

“Gerard, can you please explain what just happened?” (YN) asked when she shut the door behind them.

Gerard sighed. “There’s been a rise in vampire attacks, and I know you work late so I’ve been watching to make sure you get home safe.”

(YN)’s face softened at his words, before she was shaking her head in confusion again. “Vampire attacks?! And how have I never noticed you behind me? Are you telling me you’re a,” she trailed off.

“Vampire? Yea, I probably should have mentioned it before,” Gerard replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "To be fair, I'd only just gotten turned when we met."

“Well this answers a lot of questions I’ve had,” (YN) murmured to herself as she made her way to the couch, lost in thought.

“What?”

“Huh? Nothing!” She replied quickly, blushing as she looked up at him. “But how do you keep yourself from wanting to bite me?”

Gerard swallowed hard. He wanted to close the distance between them and take her in his arms and show her how he felt, but he couldn’t. All he could do was be mostly honest. “Because I’d be devastated if anything happened to you. More than anything I want to keep you safe.”

(YN) ducked her head awkwardly, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. “I can’t ask you to follow me around forever like my own personal bodyguard.”

“There is another way, but I’d understand if you wanna say no. Please don’t feel like you have to do this,” he said starting to pace nervously.

“Wha-what is it?” She asked, her voice sounding a bit strained.

“It’s called a protection mark. It’d help me sense when you’re in a dangerous situation, and I could be there in a flash to help protect you.”

(YN) nodded thoughtfully, taking in his words. “But you wouldn’t know everything I’d be thinking or feeling or doing, right?”

“Right,” he nodded. “Just when you need protecting.”

“I… I guess that would be a good idea,” she replied.

“If you aren’t sure, you don’t have to,” he reassured her.

“No! I, I mean, I think it’d be the best idea. I’d really not like to be bitten by a vampire.”

Gerard winced. “Umm… that’s part of the process.”

“Oh,” she breathed, her hand going to her neck protectively.

“It won’t be deep, just a small wound, I promise.”

“And you won’t turn into a bloodthirsty monster?”

“No, I’d never do anything to hurt you,” he said softly, sitting down next to her.

(YN) nodded. “Ok, I trust you, Gerard.”

Gerard took a steadying breath and leaned in, feeling overwhelmed with nerves. He knew how to do this, Ray had explained it all before, but being this close to (YN) in this context was something else all together. He tried to ignore the vampire instincts screaming in his brain about how good her blood smelled, how amazing it would taste, that’s not what he was doing.

He bared his fangs, and sank into the soft skin of (YN)’s neck. She let out a whine that turned into a whimper and he wanted to stop, but he had to make the wound deep enough. As he drew back, the taste of her blood hit his tongue and he had to stop himself from drinking more. 

“The worst is done,” he said encouragingly to her. She opened her eyes and he smiled, hoping to reassure her.

“You can, umm, the bit that’s bled, you can have it,” she said, stumbling over her words, cheeks heating up at the offer.

Gerard’s heart would have been beating a mile a minute if he was still a human. He leaned back in and carefully licked away the small rivulets of blood. It was better than anything he could have imagined. The best meals he had as a human were nothing compared to her.

Once the bleeding stopped, he brought his fingertip to his fang, piercing the skin. It took a moment for a bead of blood to pool up before he held it over the wound, allowing it to drip in. He drew another droplet and let it fall into the other hole.

“My blood is now mixed in yours,” he explained softly, looking up at her again. “Not enough to turn you into a vampire, but just enough for me to know when you’re in danger.”

“Now what?” She asked just as softly.

“You don't need me hanging around you anymore, so I can go,” he said, getting up.

“No,” she said quickly, reaching out and grabbing his hand. "I mean, you can stay and hang out if you want. I'd love to hear about being a vampire, if you wouldn't mind telling me about it."

Gerard smiled and sat back down next to her. "Yea, I don't really get to talk about it much. What do you wanna know?"

Gerard stayed until just before dawn, having spent all night talking with (YN). They'd been friends for a while, but no longer having to hide his true identity made him feel even closer to her. It also did nothing to help the crush he had on (YN), as well as his instinct to protect her at all costs. 

When he returned to his basement apartment, he typed out a quick message to Ray, letting him know what happened that night and climbed into bed. But sleep wasn't coming anytime soon, as all he could think about was (YN).

A few nights later, Gerard was walking into a party at someone's house. He wasn't the type to go out without good reason, but a text from (YN) inviting him was more than good enough.

"Gerard!" She called when she saw him, waving him over.

"Hey," he smiled as he reached her. She threw her arms around him, giving him a tight hug, before pulling back sheepishly. "Sorry, I guess I missed you," she laughed nervously.

He smiled back. "That's ok, I missed you too. You've been ok?"

"Yea. So far so good I think," she shrugged and that's when Gerard realized he was holding her hand. He wasn't even sure when it happened, but he liked the way they fit together. "I haven't had to work as late so I'm not walking alone in the dark, but I'm still glad to know you're there if I need you."

They settled into a comfortable, easy conversation, as if they were the only two people in the entire party.

"Hey Gee. Gee… Gerard Way!" Ray shouted, finally getting Gerard's attention.

"What?" Gerard asked a little annoyed, and (YN) giggled.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ray asked.

"Yea, sure," he said, giving (YN) 's hand a reassuring squeeze before following Ray out to the back deck.

Outside, Ray's breath came out in clouds, filling the bitter night air. Gerard noted that the moon was nearly full and that meant the werewolves would be out in a night or two and he should warn (YN), just to be safe.

“How’s it going with (YN)?” Ray asked, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

“Everything seems fine so far,” Gerard replied hesitantly.

“But?”

“You know that I’ve had feelings for her for a long time, but ever since giving her that protection mark,” Gerard trailed off.

“Oh Gerard,” Ray sighed.

“What?!”

“You didn’t know tha-”

“Wait, shit, I think (YN)’s in trouble,” Gerard cut his friend off.

“At a party?” Ray asked skeptically, watching his friend run back inside.

Gerard pushed through the crowd, as if being led by an invisible thread to (YN). When he found her, she was backed into a corner, a tall, hulking man was looming over her, and she was clearly very uncomfortable and nervous. 

“Gee!” She exclaimed when she spotted him.

“(YN), are you ok? Is this guy bothering you?” Gerard asked.

“She’s fine,” the man snarled. “She doesn’t need any help from some greasy dork like you.”

“She’s not, and you need to leave her alone,” Gerard said trying to keep his voice calm.

“Make me,” the other man laughed darkly.

Gerard stepped forward and shoved him with all of the strength he could muster, launching the jerk across the room. His friends, noticing the commotion, started to make their way to where Gerard was standing protectively in front of (YN) once again.

“Hey Gee, let’s get outta here!” Ray called from by the door. Gerard grabbed (YN)’s hand and led her quickly out of the house. Once they were away from the party and certain they weren’t being followed, the three of friends settled into a comfortable pace 

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, squeezing (YN)’s hand.

“Yea, thanks,” she smiled. “How’d you know I needed help back there? Was it the protection mark?”

“I think so?” Gerard replied, turning to look at Ray, who sighed again, stopping under a streetlight.

“I tried to explain this to you Gee, but I think you were a bit distracted,” Ray explained in an amused tone, shooting a glance toward (YN). “While the protection mark alerts the protector to when the bearer of the mark is in danger, it will also increase the bond between the protector and the bearer. Ya know, enhance anything that is already there.”

Gerard glanced over at (YN), she was already looking at him, and they both looked away nervously.

“Anyway, this is my place, I’ll see you two later,” Ray said, with a wave and heading up to the building they were in front of, leaving (YN) and Gerard alone.

“I’m sorry (YN), I wasn’t paying attention when Ray explained it all to me. I didn’t mean to make you, I mean, all I wanted,” he groaned, hanging his head in defeat.

“Gerard,” she said, reaching out and tilting his head up so she could look in his eyes. "You can tell me."

"I just like you so much, I asked Ray for advice and I got distracted imagining being your hero when he was explaining everything," he laughed, but his voice was tinged with sadness. He had a feeling (YN) was about to ask him to leave her alone forever.

But she was smiling softly up at him, her hand still resting gently on his cheek. That's when she leaned in, pressing her lips to his sweetly. The moment took him aback for a moment, but when he realized what was happening, he kissed her back with every bit of emotion he had been holding for her in his cold, unbeating heart. When she pulled back she was blushing lightly.

"Gee, remember what Ray said? It enhances feelings that are already there. I already liked you too. And now I know you like me back."

Gerard grinned. "Do you wanna come over to my place, it's not far."

"I'd love to," she smiled. "Hey, look, it’s almost the full moon. I don't have to worry about werewolves running around, do I?" She laughed.

Gerard just wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tight against him as they headed down the street. "Oh (YN), I think I have a lot to tell you."

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

[amythedvdhoarder]

Arguments and Revelations

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: An argument with Bucky’s latest fling throws some uncertainty on your relationship with Bucky

Warnings: Language, a little bit of angst and fluff

Word count: 1.9K

A/N: (Gif not mine) This is my entry for the lovely @anika-ann​ 500 celebration challenge. I used the prompt “You are such a bitch!” “Takes one to know one, sweetheart!” I altered the words slightly to fit. This one was fun to write, not as fluffy as normal but I do enjoy writing a good argument!

Not beta read, any mistakes are my own.

Reblogs and feedback are most welcome, so let me know what you think x

Masterlist

xxx

“Hey Y/N, we still on for tomorrow?” Bucky called over as he walked to the fridge.

“Mmmm,” you nodded with a mouth full of cereal.

“Enjoying that?” he aimed at you with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, you have good choice in cereal.”

His eyes widened in shock and he slammed the fridge for dramatic affect and turned to face you. “My cereal, you are such a dick!”

“Takes one to know one, pal!” you shot back with a smug look on your face.

“Bucky baby?” a voice whined from the corridor. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you turned your attention to your cereal in front of you.

Bucky let out a small sigh just before a petite blonde woman strolled in wearing one of Bucky’s t-shirts that only just covered her bum.

Her eyes flicked to Bucky and then to you.  She clenched her jaw and threw you a fake smile which returned with a raise of your eyebrows.

“Babe, I missed you,” she pouted and wrapped her arms around Bucky’s neck and stood on her tiptoes so she could lean up and kiss Bucky. The view you got as she did this was not one you appreciated.

“I was just talking to Y/N about tomorrow night,” he offered calmly.

“But I thought we could,” she walked her fingers up his chest and bit down on her bottom lip “you know, hang out tomorrow night.”

“We already made plans,” his hand fell to the small of her back, encouraging her to rest back on her feet, he sent you an apologetic smile.

She looked up at him and realised he was looking at you. “But baby I want to spend time with you.” You could hear the irritation in her voice.  All you wanted was to eat your breakfast in peace but Lisa, or bitch-tits as you had named her, was scowling at you.  Why did Bucky have to go for women with very little between their ears?

“Look I’m sure we could rearrange.” You proposed.

“Thanks,” bitch-tits said in a fake sweet voice.

Bucky let go of her and turned to you, “doll, no we are not rearranging.”

“Doll? Are you kidding me right now?” bitch-tits was seething, she took a step back from Bucky and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Lisa, I call everyone that?” Bucky ran his hand through his hair.

“Not me you don’t. Do you know what? It all makes sense now.” You felt like you were witnessing something you shouldn’t. Quietly you tried to sneak out but she rounded on you. “Oh no you don’t get to leave.”

Lisa looked like she had just had a lightbulb moment, she took a step towards you. Automatically you took a step closer to her, daring her to try something. There was nothing you wanted more than to punch her annoying face.

“Lisa leave Y/N out of this. Why don’t we go back to my room and talk about this?” Bucky was pleading now.

Her head snapped round to him and pointed at him accusingly.  “Umm, I don’t think so. She’s the one, isn’t she? She is the one you told me about when we first met, the friend you’ve got feelings for-,” she spun to face you “-and you. I can tell by the way you look at him that you obviously have feelings for him too.”

Bucky looked mortified and you were pretty sure that your mouth had hit the floor. You couldn’t believe that bimbo had been that perceptive, even Nat hadn’t sussed out how you felt yet. Bucky’s mouth kept opening and closing as he tried to form some words. His panic filled blue eyes briefly locked on yours before tearing his gaze away to look at Lisa.

“I will take your silence to mean I’m correct?” She aimed at Bucky. When he still stayed quiet she scoffed and with a final glare at the pair of you, stormed off.

Neither you nor Bucky spoke, both still reeling from being outed unexpectedly. You climbed back onto the stool, placed your elbows on the counter and rested your chin on your hands. Bucky was stood with his metal hand resting on his hip, pinching his nose.

“Doll, I –,”

“Buck –,“ Both of you started to speak at the same time. The pair of you laughed nervously and then Bucky gestured you to continue.

“Maybe you should go after her?” You didn’t want him to leave but it was the right thing to do.

He blinked a couple of times as your words sunk in. “Yeah I probably should.” He took a deep breath and sent you an apologetic grimace before heading off down the corridor back to his room.

xxx

For the rest of the day you hid in your room, replaying what bitch-tits had said, well yelled, at you and Bucky. You had spent a lot of time with him; he was your partner on most missions and other than Steve, you were the one he sought out and spent time with. You had reintroduced him to the modern world, caught him up on all the best music, movies and books from the last few decades. At times you wondered if you and him could ever be more than friends but then he started dating every woman under the sun. These women were the polar opposite to you, confirming, in your mind, that nothing would ever happen between you; clearly you weren’t his type.

That didn’t stop you developing feelings for him though. The time you had spent with Bucky made you realise that he was everything you could want rolled into one; you shared a similar sense humour, was kind, caring, and not to mention breathtakingly handsome without even trying. But you kept your feelings under control, not wanting to risk such a valuable friendship. It seemed impossible to imagine a life without Bucky in it, if that meant having to hide how you really felt then it was worth the ache you felt every time you saw him.

xxx

Back in Bucky’s room tensions were high. Normally he made a conscious effort to avoid confrontation, unless it was on a mission. But Lisa definitely wanted an argument, she was pissed, which to be honest he could understand. He had outlined when they first met that he wasn’t looking for anything too serious because he had feelings for someone else, he was just looking for a distraction and Lisa was more than willing to help. However, he had let this arrangement carry on longer than he should, Lisa had taken that to mean that Bucky wanted something more serious. He did, just not with her.

After Lisa had got the anger out of her system she calmed down. She quickly changed and packed up the few things that she had left in Bucky’s place during the few weeks they were seeing each other. Bucky apologised profusely for any pain he had caused her but subtly reminded her that this was never really anything more than sex for him. He understood how that made him look, but he couldn’t commit himself to a real relationship because it wouldn’t be fair to the other person, not when he was in love with you. He was just too much of a coward to do anything about it, you were too important to him to lose.

“You two should talk to each other. Y/N definitely feels something for you, she always looked sad every time I showed up,” Lisa turned to him from the door.

“Um thanks, I am really sorry Lisa,” he sighed from where he was sat on the bed

“You did warn me. Doesn’t mean it feels any less shitty. Bye Bucky.” She didn’t spare him another glance before leaving and closing the door behind her.  

Bucky flopped back onto his bed and let the events of the last few hours sink in. He thought back to this morning where Lisa had exposed his feelings for you. You had looked shocked but not disgusted and a small part of him was hopeful because you hadn’t outright denied her accusation either. Not that there was much time to. Bucky hated the uncertainty now hanging between you two, he couldn’t just leave things as they were. He had to talk to you.  

xxx

“Come in,” you shouted in response to the soft knock at your door.

The Bucky that stepped in was not one that you had seen in a while. He looked nervous and so unsure of himself. To be honest it mirrored exactly how you were feeling.

“Are you ok? How did it go with Lisa?” No matter what you felt for him you wanted him to be happy, if Lisa made him happy then so be it.

“We’re over, to be honest Y/N we weren’t really ever together properly,” Bucky took a seat next to you on the sofa.

“Oh, I just thought-,” you concentrated on keeping your face neutral, your natural reaction was to smile.

“We had a fairly crude arrangement, it’s not something I’m proud of. It was a distraction,” Bucky couldn’t look at you, he couldn’t bear to see the disgust on your face.

“We all need distractions Buck, our job isn’t the easiest thing to switch off from,” you shifted closer to him and placed your hand on his thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Um it’s not the job Y/N.” He turned to look at you. “It’s you.”

“Me? I don’t understand,” your voice was wavering slightly as you tried to keep calm.

“I didn’t want to lose you Y/N, you mean too much to me,” his eyes were shining now as tears started to form.

“You won’t ever lose me Buck. I’m not going anywhere.” Letting go of his thigh you took his hand in yours, your thumb running over his knuckles.

“I love you Y/N. I can’t picture a life without you in it. I completely understand that you don’t feel the same way and if you don’t want to be around me anymore then-.“ You placed your free hand over his mouth to stop him rambling and turned him to face you properly.

His brows furrowed in confusion as you removed your hand from his mouth and smiled softly at him. “You love me?”

His rolled his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded at you. “Yeah, pretty much have from the moment you sat me down to watch Ferris Bueller’s day off, maybe even from the first time you spoke to me. You treated me like a proper person, not some broken thing.”

The way he was looking at you made your heart break; the man was so clearly expecting you to reject him. “I love you too you know. How could I not? You’re my best friend, nothing will ever change that but I want more. With you.”

“You mean it?” Bucky whispered as if saying it any louder would make it untrue.

“No, I’m kidding,” you mutter sarcastically.

“You’re so annoying sometimes you know that?” Bucky grumbled.

You chuckled, “I know but you love it really.” Bucky shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Damn right I do doll,” he grinned.

“So, what you going to do about it?” you teased.

His eyes darkened ever so slightly at the challenge. “You might regret that Y/N.”

You leaned towards him, your lips mere centimetres from his. “Hmmm I don’t think I will.”

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