#this is making me cry. I'm so scared. When a bill manages to scare people in other fecking countries

[partyanimal167]

A Win-Win Situation- Rayleigh x F!Reader

I had to drop a bag at the mechanic two days ago, and to literally keep myself from not crying, I was coming up with a fic idea to make the situation sexier and not depressing 😅 This popped up, and I was just like, 'At least I can finally write for Rayleigh.' I also told my friend, and he supported doing what you needed to do because damn do autoshops scare me.

CW: modern au, black fem reader, age gap, very light dubcon, smut, praise kink, daddy kink, MDNI

You only expected to get the tires rotated. So when the man started talking about parts and labor costs, you were ready for the earth to swallow you up whole.

You were confident about a lot of things. You could do most adulting tasks like clean, organize your bills, plan a trip, etc. But cars...weren't your area of expertise. But you managed for awhile, so you didn't worry too much! You watched videos and knew that there were things you needed to get done to maintain the vehicle.

So you went to get your tires rotated. Easy. Nothing to worry about....until, the guy pointed out that your check engine light was on. He must have seen the way you stiffened and tried to keep your expression calm.

The man gave you a sweet, flirty smile and waved his hand. "Don't worry too much, sweetheart. I'm actually a bit packed today, but an old friend owns a shop on the next street over. He should be able to check it out. Shouldn't cost you much either."

You bit your lip nervously as you rocked a little. "Really?"

"Of course! Tell 'im Shanks sent you. He'll take really good care of you."

~~~

You shyly stepped out of your car in front of the older shop where a radio played throwbacks and a fan blew strongly.

You walked quietly through the open garage door where a person stood under a lifted car with a welder's mask on. "Uh, excuse me" you raised your voice a little since you weren't sure if they'd be able to hear.

The body looked up at you before stepping from under the car and turning to take off the welding hood.

You weren't ready for the kind, sweet older man to beam at you. His glasses were somehow spotless despite the hood. After he wiped his hands on a rag, he pulled his long, gray hair out of its ponytail. "Hi dear, how can I help you today?"

You fidgeted with your hands a little. "Huh, I was just trying to get my tires rotated, but my check engine light is on. The guy, Shanks, said I should come see you." you explained.

The man nodded. "Ah the boy. Yes of course I can help you." he wiped his hairline and sipped his water. "Shame you're out here in this heat. That boyfriend of yours shouldn't be having you out running car errands either."

Your cheeks warmed up, and you scratched one nervously. "I don't have a boyfriend." you softly corrected.

The man handed you a water bottle. "Well that can be fixed--easily." he chuckled. Before you could ask what he met, he held out his hand, and you gave him his keys. "I'm Rayleigh by the way." You nodded and with your own. "Beautiful, what a pleasure."

You stepped to the side as the man drove your car in and took out a little gadget to hook up to your car. You watched a bit confused as he pressed some buttons and frowned at the screen.

The sun continued to beam down, so you were glad you were wearing your short shorts and cropped hoodie, but you weren't expecting to be out alone with just you and the older man. The other shop had a lot of people coming in and out. You wiped your brow and chugged some of your water as you eyed the older man. You didn't feel too nervous though. Rayleigh seemed nice. He was all gentle smiles and had a calm demeanor. Plus, he looked good for his age. You bet he was a real lady killer in his day.

"I'm going to be honest, love. I think one of your catalytic converter is shot. We're going to need to replace it." the man sighed as he closed the door and looked over to you.

You blinked twice. "That's the expensive part, right?"

The man chuckled at your wording and nodded. "I'm afraid so. But don't worry. I won't charge you an arm and a leg." he assured you. You rocked the on your heels a little as you nibbled a little on your lip. "That's what Shanks said..."

"Let's get you out this heat." you entered a small office and sat at the desk. Rayleigh handed you another water bottle before taking off his denim jacket. You nearly choked. This man is jacked. He had on a white tee, but you weren't expecting the way his muscles filled it in. "You okay there?"

You cleared your throat and met a mischievous look. Hopefully, he didn't notice your stares. You nodded. He grinned as he typed away at his computer. "So I need to order the part, but I think including labor we're looking at this amount." he filled out an invoice and circled the total. Rayleigh watched as your body went rigid and he sighed. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I wish it could be less. I-,"

"Oh no, it's fine! You have a business to run of course," you gave a little nervous smile. Rayleigh gave you a once over before that innocent smile was back.

"Come here, princess."

You whipped your head up. "Excuse me?"

Rayleigh pushed away from the desk a little and patted a spot in front of him. "Come sit."

You stood and walked around the desk and sat. You gasped as your hand was taken and a soft kiss was placed on it. "You can't go giving an old man ideas especially with the way you're looking at me." you gasped in response. "We can do a little trade. What do you say? Let's see how many rounds you can last, and I'll make some adjustments." You were surprised by the challenge, but it excited you all the same. The old man seemed experienced. Plus, there was no way he was going to out last you either. It was an easy win-win.

~~~

"Fuck daddy, daddy!" your legs were shaking as the man continued to pump his fingers inside as you sat in his lap. You gripped tightly on his shoulders as you bounced up and down.

Rayleigh grinned meanly at you. "What's wrong, dear? It's only been two so far. I'm trying to be nice here. Can't you give me some more?" The man went back to licking and sucking on your nipples as you moaned and sobbed. Your walls started clenching on his fingers once more and you whined as he put more pressure on your clit with the heel of his palm. "Ah there we go. Good girl, I knew you could do it." He sucked a hickey right below your ear. "You flatter this old man with how you sound. Is it good?"

"Yes!" you groaned as you tipped over that mountain again.

It took you a couple moments to catch your breath, and when you were present again, you realized you were on the desk looking up at the man who didn't even have a hair out of place. That sweet smile was there, but with the three orgasms he just gave you, it was so deceiving. Your face was burning, and you let your eyes trail down to see his member out and proud. It was girthy and hard. You could see the veins that ran down and the streams of precum that had been leaking. You whimpered.

"I wanna suck it, daddy." your eyes glossed over, and your cheeks were shiny with tears.

The man groaned at the sight. He'd have to thank Shanks for sending you over. He shook his head. "Ah ah, no sweetheart. You can do that next time. This is your reward for being so good for me, princess." He lifted your hood and spread some of juices around. "Deep breath now," and he sunk in.

You cried out deliriously. He filled you so well and stretched you more than you expected even with prep. You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him even closer. Rayleigh chuckled before pushing in further. "Fuck, you feel so good, love. Such a naughty girl just for carrying around this good pussy, shit." the man huffed as he started up a slow but strong rhythm.

Skin slapped against another loudly, and you were drowning it. It was too much yet not enough at the same time. Rayleigh grunted deliciously near your ear and cooed about how pretty you were, how good you felt, how he wanted to keep you around and fill you up. You clenched around him more and more, and he sped up. "I'll give it to you, baby. Good girl wants to get pumped full?"

"Yes, yes! Please, let me- uh uh, let me have it please." You cried out. You moaned as you were kissed deeply and felt your tongues twirled around. "Fuck, fuck! I'm gonna cum, daddy. I'm gonna cum. Fuck, yes!" Your orgasm hit you hard; you saw pure white in your eyes as you crashed and rode that wave into pleasure.

"So good. So good! I'll give it to you princess. Just take it," Rayleigh continued on and huffed loudly, glasses finally falling off. He gripped the back of your thighs as he finished and milked himself.

The two of stay silent for a moment before you squeaked as you felt fingers stuff you full. "Can't waste a drop." Rayleigh winked.

You looked at him completely stunned.

This was certainly not how you thought the day would go...

~~~

*rereads and blushes* God damn....

I hope I did justice to my mans Rayleigh! I'm just gonna indulge in this fantasy to pretend that I didnt have to drop cash on this damn car...

Thanks for reading!

Part Two

[mysticficti0n]

goodbye... for awhile

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- swearing, fluffy, emotional, 16years old

words- 1.8k

a/n-I had this idea last night while watching something on insta so here's my go at it! just pretend thats you and Tom 🫡 and for when they preform in class for the lesson I know 'all I wanted' is a song by Paramore (love them sm) but lets say for the sake of this Y/n, Bill and Tom created it okay?

(editing B here may I say I cried while writing this... and editing this so if you ever need to cry, this has you covered)

I woke up and my mood dropped immediately, it was Friday which most people would be excited obviously- the weekend was on it's way, but the thought of today created a pit in my stomach, my last day with the Kaulitz twins, they were my best friends since we began at the school, Bill and I would meet up after lessons everyday and walk home together sometimes even staying at his for dinner, then Tom began hanging with us and 5 years later we've been all best friends and me and Tom started dating we were 14 and now we're 16 and only me, him, our parents, Bill and his other bandmates know about us- but after today....what was us going to become.

I got ready wearing some jeans, a top which tucked neatly to my sides and some shoes I got for my birthday, I decided to go simple with make up, I already was crying so I didn't need mascara dripping down my cheeks. I looked to the mirror and smiled taking a breath "honey?" my moms voice appeared around the corner and then her face with a small smile "oh sweetheart" she cooed walking in a wrapping her arms around me rubbing my back "I know you're gonna miss them, but I promise you'll see them when they're back- it's okay" I sighed to her shoulder letting my tears go down my face before we pulled away

"I'm just scared to be on my own mom and I'll miss them both so much and... I don't want them to leave but I know they have to" I breathed shakily trying to stop the cries before my mom spoke the bell rang making my heart sink instantly

"we'll talk after okay, lets go to them" I nodded grabbing my bag and walking down the stairs as she opened the door "oh boys" she sighed pulling the two for a hug "I'm so proud of you both but gosh we're going to miss you sweets, but you'll be amazing" she spoke pressing a kiss to both their cheeks, letting them out her arms and I finally looked to their faces which looked sadder and I just looked down and covered my face "talk to her boys" my mom said patting their shoulders and soon I felt hands wrap around me

"I'm gonna miss you two so much" I managed to say between my sobs "but I'm so excited for you, I just don't know what I'm gonna do without you guys" we all pulled away and I saw tears slipping from the brown eyed twins "I'm sorry" a small laughed left my lips

"making us cry Y/n" Bill grinned wiping his eyes "I just... I wish we could bring you along with us" he said while looking to Tom who was looking to me, I turned to him and saw tears streaming down his skin

"oh Tom-" I stood taking him into my arms letting his face go to the crook of my neck "its okay- you're okay"

"I-i'm gonna miss you so much" he whimpered to me his hands clinging to me "I don't wanna leave you Y/n" he whispered

"I know" I breathed pressing a kiss to his cheek "I'm going to watch all your interviews though, and anything I find of your band and I'll try come to a few shows I promise" Bill came over and hugged me along with his brother and my arms curled around the two as we all really excepted it was happening

"darlings- lets get a last photo together, for memories" my mom's smooth voice broke us apart and I stood between the two still crying with a painful hiccup every few seconds but smiling non the less "okay 1...2...3" the camera flashed a few times before she started to well up "beautiful, you... you three need to go to school no...now" her voice broke "Y/n I'll see you after and... oh boys" she sighed as the two came to her arms again "love you two so much"

"love you Y/M/N" they answered coming away and taking a breath "ready?" Tom looked to me giving his hand which I took and I said goodbye to my mom and walked out the house for the last time with them.

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

1-3rd period flew by and three o'clock was near approaching, our last class together was music which is were we all first met, Tom was already sat at the table when me and Bill walked in from our last lesson and we pulled out chairs out from the desk "last hour" Bill spoke looking to his brother who nodded "I think we get to finish our pieces today- I need the paper" Bill rose and went to the teachers desk leaving me and Tom

"you okay?" I spoke shuffling my chair closer to him and he just shook his head "same, b..but we need to just enjoy this okay- I love you so much" I whispered hitting his leg with my foot

"love you too" a smile appeared to his lips as he playfully kicked me back laughing as I missed my shot "idiot" he spat seeing me huff in annoyance

"got the papers!" Bill cheered coming back and placing the sheet music in front of us, our song 'all I wanted', I was singing along with Bill who was playing the piano and Tom was doing acoustic guitar for the background "okay so we need to practise the end bit and Y/n you can do the 'you' bit okay the really long one" I nodded listening to him speak over what we both had to do, through his speech I felt Toms hand search under the table for mine so quickly when I realised I grabbed his palm and held it under the table giving him the 3 squeeze 'I...Love...you'

Time flew by and it got to our time to perform, we stood in from of our class and teacher who was smiling "before we begin, this is Tom and Bills last day with us before they leave to go on tour! congratulations boys so this people is like a free concert, along with Y/n of course" hearing another person say it was their last day hit my heart in a way I didn't know it could be hit and my eyes teared up "ready?" we all nodded and started our song , throughout the song I could feel a pair of eyes on my side, Tom who sat with a proud smile as I actually hit the note with a tear falling from my eye and then hearing gasps from the class

"all I wanted was you!" we ended and the crowd before us applauded, our teacher clapping too, we all hugged before going to our seats, me and Bill highfived as we sat down and I quickly rubbed the tears from my eyes Tom through me a wink and then the bell sounded meaning time for last lesson where I'm with neither of the boys "I'll see you outside" I turned to the two who nodded and Bill was pulled into a conversation with our teacher and Tom turned to me

"we'll be picked up by this bus thing and Georg and Gustav will be in there so if you wanna say goodbye to them too you can" he smiled wrapping his one arm over my shoulders

"great more crying" I giggled leaning to his arm "I don't want you to go Tom" my voice was calm but inside I was falling apart already

"I don't wanna either... mhh- want me and Bill to walk you to your lesson for the last time? like the old times" he spoke changing the subject before we both started to cry again

"yeah...yes please"

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

"have a good weekend everyone!" my teacher announced meaning it was our time to leave, I hurriedly grabbed my things and rushed out the room and sprinted down the corridor to the outside where I could see a mass of people and camera's pointed to two people and a tall man, fuck

"move! please move!" I shouted shoving the crowd as I realised it was Tom and Bill being escorted to the bus that was taking them away "BILL! WAIT BILL PLEASE WAIT" I screamed before finally getting out of the sea of bodies seeing him turn around to me and I rushed into his arms "I'm gonna miss you Bill- fuck I don't want you to leave me here, but do us all proud okay?"

I felt another pair of hands try to pry me away "excuse me ma'am" it was their bodyguard which Bill quickly brushed away before bringing me close again

"we will call- every day, I'll miss you so much- do us proud here too! you'll be amazing okay? come to our shows to see us, scream us I'll know its you okay?" I nodded as tears fell down our cheeks "bye Y/n/n" I sobbed hearing him say it

"bye Billy" I spoke before he let go and I saw Tom rush toward me and I just jumped to his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and crying into his skin "I love you so much Tom- I love you so so much, you'll do amazing out there, and call me okay- please call me my love and...and don't forget about me " I cried to him and I felt his chest stutter

"I will baby I promise I'll call every night, I'm so sorry we need to go, I love you so much my sweet girl, I promise I will visit when I can and I'm telling you now I wont forget you- how could I?" we pulled apart but still in each others arms "I love you so fucking much baby- so much"

"I love you Tom" we forgot about the crowd and our lips pressed together, it was a kiss I never wanted to leave because I knew leaving it meant I had to let go of him, my boy- I could taste our tears mixing on our lips as we breathed unsteadily before the horn of the car honked "you'll be so good out there... I love you Tom- I love you so much"

"fuck I love you so much Y/n"

we hugged once more before he climbed into the van, I quickly waved to Georg and Gustav who sat patting Tom's back as I watched him sob into his hands, Bill held a heart up as the engine purred awake "DO YOURSELF AND US PROUD AND I PROMISE I'LL COME SEE YOU GUYS- LOVE YOU SO MUCH" I yelled as the began to drive, Tom blew me a kiss before they began to speed up down the road and then they were gone and I just the tears slide down my face until mom showed up coming out the car and wrapping me in a hug "they're gone- they're gone mom" I welped

"I know darling- I know" she held me so tight and brushed the tears from my face "you'll see them again- all of them, and they'll make us all so happy- trust me"

[princesseusminki]

Homeless | Park Seonghwa

Chapter 2.

Disclaimer ! Sexual harassment and disturbing scene! Reader discretion's are advised

He was hanging the clothes outside the house while I was sitting on the table figuring out his issues. He looks happy somehow this morning, I can see the smile on his face. Far from last night pleading expression. What was I thinking right of the bat? Accepting him to stay here, well the pitiful looks definitely works.

"Do you need anything to sort out more?" Huh. I didn't realise he was done with the chores until he caught me off guard. " Ah not yet...Seonghwa let's eat and...talk" Suddenly I can see the sadness washed over his face again. I didn't have anything except ramen, forgot to restock my groceries. "Sorry, ramen is the only foods I have right now". Looking sheepishly. "Don't worry...it's better than nothing". Right. He slurped the ramen so was I. " What actually happened?".

"Fucking twat look ahead would you" he looks like he about to throw punch at me, I put my arms front, defending myself before it's getting worse. "Dude cmon leave him alone". A spit spewed right onto my head. I didn't meant to hit him. My vision was blurry right after I went out from the room. Cold water hitting my face, as I looking myself onto the mirror, a tear of cries sliding my face. "I was looking for you, you know, cmon along now, entertain me". "Apology, madam I'm preoccupied now". I just want to run away and end everything now. "What is that mean?, I fucking paid you". "Go find another whore for you to pay around". I walked away from the bathroom before I felt sting behind my back and my visions turning void.

I woke up surrounded by a white senile wallpaper with a hint disgusting drought medicine smell. "You're lucky we found you". So I did faint. " We're just gonna keep it simple, nothing happened and you're gonna come back, all compensated through the medical bills". I preferably look distant. " hey, did you get it". "Im quitting" . I can feel the palpitations session inside my heartbeat as I spewing it.

A smudge reaction thrown, " Is it a fucking joke? Didn't know you can make one, always looks serious". " You're not quitting, you know why?". As he gripping harshly on my ward coat. "You're fucking pathetic, whilst no one helps you except us, taking you on the street looking rugs". " I still see that 9 years old scared child staring at me".

They said life always has options regardless, but I wish i did back when i was a child. Mom and dad died when i was 9, sending into orphanage care centre was the last choices since no ones want me. So I ran away. Tried to make the end-meets each everyday from scrap, either ways it didn't work out well until I met Kim Myeong-Gil. He was everything to me, my saviour, my guardians angel; who helped me while no one else did. That's until my chastity was imposed.

He said the job is basically to assist people. It was handful work at first that's until, I got forced and raped. Sometimes it was men and women. I didn't know what it was at first. All I know I want to die; it was such dark and trapped, I had nowhere to go. That until i managed to run away from the torture endangerment of the place and met the most profound souls girl.

Kim Iseul.

[loser-female]

Nothing, just every time I sit around to think about ADHD I inevitably see all the abuse I've been through in front of my eyes again.

Now I just want to go cry in a corner.

The truth is that... I don't have any superpowers. I'm a 2x dropout. I cannot remember years of my life and the memories i have are extremely fragmented and difficult to put together. If I didn't have ADHD I wouldn't have been abused causing trauma that will never go away. I barely graduated high school - it took me 7 years instead of 5, I was too depressed to get out of bed at a certain point -and for some reason I thought I could do physics. And I can understand very difficult concepts, they don't fly over my head. But my country universities are completely unstructured. I got told "do these things in a three months time", so I couldn't keep up (and I also had chronic pain). I just cannot. I need a degree to keep going with my career but at this point I 100% believe it's over my possibilities, so I don't think I will ever reach the role of a SOC manager or a CISO.

I struggle daily to daily because all my energy goes to my job and when I'm done I'm exhausted. I have to make my boyfriend that does a physical heavy job (he is a factory worker) do 70% of the stuff because I just cannot. I do want to, but everything goes out of the window because I spent my whole day trying to focus. And he needs to double check because I forget. I forget to do laundry, I forget to take out the laundry and it then smells bad and I need to rewash it, then I forget it again. I don't miss my cats stuff because they are annoying.

While I'm actively monitoring I sometimes forget what I'm doing. And with sometimes I mean twice a day. Then I remembered and I have 10 alerts to analyse and then I get distracted again. It doesn't compromise the quality of my analysis for a miracle. Because I triple check everything, but I'm slower than my coworkers.

I called a customer yesterday because I contained his asset from the network (which is a very invasive operation) and I couldn't remember for the sake of my life if he disabled the email only or the whole o365 account. I still don't know. And it's a problem because I need to report to my coworkers and I will definitely look like an idiot if I gave them the wrong information. (They know about my ADHD and are very understanding)

I say"I need to reply to that email" and it's four months and now it's unacceptable to do this.

I recently failed a job interview because I forgot crucial information at the wrong time. I rely a lot on my notes and mindmaps which are great if you do intelligence analysis, but not that great when people expect you to remember everything.

I forgot to pay my water bill for 6 months because it got lost. I misplaced it, everyone thought it was being paid and it wasn't. (Idk how I didn't get my water shut off. Learned my lesson and now it get out directly from my bank account).

I forget to call my family for weeks because to me time makes no sense. Which is the reason why I struggle so much with my very necessary self study things. I need to get them done. I don't have the brain parts required to do that.

It's so awful, I get help but it cannot change the biology of my brain. I hope I will get some sort of "cure", although I rationally know it's impossible.

I'm scared to have kids because no way I'm condemning someone else to the amount of daily struggle I have. Especially my own child!

This is what living with ADHD actually looks like. Failing over and over again, and if you have good people around they will not mind that much, but I admit I wouldn't give me half of the slack my loved ones do to me. It's not the secret of any success, it doesn't make me "creative" or anything. In fact, I would have written how much stuff if I could finish what I start! How many things could I have done! I'd be a physics professor now. I'd have a PhD or something. I wouldn't have lost a decade of my life (1/3 of my life) to depression and anxiety.

Not that I have a bad job, I love my job, I earn more than I would have if I actually stayed in physics. even if things turned good for me that doesn't mean I don't miss what I could have been.

[catspinach]

ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

[cayden-grayson-mitchell]

Well This Is New And Cute

Summary: When Carter Grayson gets badly Injured by Olympius in an intense battle and ends up Regressing to about 4, and the other Rangers stumble upon it completely by accident, will everything go well or will Carter Suppress his Regression or will he accept (I've never written a story like this one I'm about to do so please tell me if I did good with that)

Carter Grayson looked down at his right wrist as he felt it hurting. He was in the Aquabase Training Room, in front of the punching bag, wailing away at it, trying to dissolve the anger radiating off him from today's battle. Olympius had decided that it'd be funny to chuck him into the wall of the building on the corner of East Main Street which made him de-morph instantly, groaning in a bit of pain, he walks back to the Rescue Rover with Chad, Joel, Kelsey, Ryan and Dana, or rather limping because when he was chucked into the building so hard that his right foot got bent backwards and unfortunately was broken pretty badly, but Carter didn't seem to even register what happened as he limps into the training room, managing to convince the other Rangers, Ms. Fairweather and Captain Mitchell that he just landed wrong and was going to train to be able to strengthen his right foot up a bit. Dana nods, looking over at her Teammates, Father and Ms. Fairweather as he says that. "Okay. We'll be here if you need anything." Carter nods, limping off to his Quarters, going into his room, walking over to his closet, pulling out a gray zipper storage bin, (4th Image), pulling out his outfit (6th Image), changing into it, popping the blue Pacifier in his mouth while tugging on his socks, playing with his Blue Bunny (Dunno what Character that is. Lol), pulling out a pair of red Noise Canceling Headphones (4th Image), putting them on, pulling out his red LCD Writing Tablet (1st Image), drawing random stuff on it, giggling up a storm, wrapped in his fleece red snowflake blanket (6th Image). "Wook 'Look' Fuzzy. I dwew 'drew' ma team! Dey da bestest." He says, not hearing Ryan walk in to check on him. "Hey Carter, I was wondering if..." He trails off as Lil Carter turns around, eyes widen, a scream flying from his throat, hiding underneath his snowflake blanket, shaking as soft crying whines are heard. Ryan; confused on what's happening, runs out to get his and Dana's father; Captain William "Bill" Mitchell.  "Dad. I. Um. Need you to come with me. It's Carter. Once you see it; I think it'll be easier for you to understand what I'm trying to tell you." He says, leading Will to Carter's room (Will knows about Age Regression because he's helped a few people out who are Regressors.) Walking into Carter's room, Will smiles softly, walking over to Carter. "Hey bud. What's got you so upset there? It's okay, it's me Captain Mitchell." Carter sniffs a bit, telling him what happened. "Ahh. I see. Stress from the fight, you're hurt and scared. Well, that's okay, I think we'll be able to fit you in at the MedBay and see if we can have Dana take a look at you, okay? After that; you might need a cast for your leg, but it'll be okay. I'll let the Rangers know what's going on in case Lil Carter makes more Appearances."  Carter shyly nods, packing his stuff into his Little backpack that kinda resembles the White Bunny Stuffy that he has, Blue Pacifier still in his mouth as he hops off his bed, walking with William to the MedBay to where Dana is as Will explains what's going on to Dana. Upon hearing this, Dana smiles, helping Carter onto the table, taking a look at his foot. "It's definitely broken. I'll need to put it in place to cast it up. Carter, I'm going to give some medicine to help you sleep so I can fix your foot up. But if I do it and you're awake, it will hurt a lot, so I need to put you to sleep so it won't hurt. Don't you worry; Ryan and Dad will be here, it'll be okay." After getting a Non-Verbal okay in the form of a nod; Dana gets the Anesthetic Gas set up, gently placing the mask on Carter's face, placing his Pacifier on the clip of his shirt so it's not lost when he wakes up, counting from 10 to 0; Carter's now fully asleep for Dana to place Carter's foot back in the correct place in order to cast it up properly. 

 Time Skip to after the Surgery because I'm not good with writing Surgeries in Stories and the Other Rangers and Ms. Fairweather were Informed of Carter's Age Regression by Captain Mitchell

After a while; Carter wakes up, strongly coughing due to a very sore throat. Not seeing anything or anyone due to there being a curtain pulled over; Carter starts accidently giving himself a Panic Attack; softly screaming and crying. 

Upon walking past the MedBay and hearing Carter crying; Joel runs in, seeing Lil Carter in the Bed, screaming, Crying and coughing, he gets a small cup of water and cough medicine, helping Carter take the medicine, he also helps Carter drink from the cup, calling Dana on his Morpher to tell her what's happening. A few moments later, Dana walks in smiling. "There's the brave Fireman. You stayed asleep the whole time and I fixed your foot up good as new. I was making sure everything was able to accommodate to your wheelchair seeing as you're a bit too little to use crutches right now. I'll check you over and see if we can get this icky IV out and maybe if you are lucky; Uncle Joel will bring you to the Rec Room." Joel can't resist being called Uncle Joel to Carter; reaching out, holding the Little's right hand as Dana's checklist is done as she goes to remove the IV from his hand (I've had it happen but luckily I was out for the IV going in so I didn't feel it, which is how Carter got it in his left hand)

Dana nods, hearing Carter's soft pained whines. "I know it hurts sweetie, I'm sorry. But I've good news; it's out and I added a cotton ball to the hole so you don't have to see it. And once we get you into your wheelchair you need a seatbelt on, just to be safe." Joel smiles, hugging Carter. "Guess what Little Man? You were so good, that I think Blue's Clues is on TV. The one with Joe. I'll see if we can get there in time for it to start." He said, helping Carter get in to the wheelchair, buckling him in, wheeling him into the Rec Room, smiling as he sees Chad and Kelsey already there, the TV on a Blue's Clue Channel and it paused so it doesn't start yet. "Aww. There's our Lil Red Leader. How'd it go? He good?" Chad asks as a smile forms on his face, seeing Carter Regressed in the wheelchair. 

Dana nods. "He's feeling a bit better. All casted up and excited to be with his friends."

Carter smiles, as Kelsey helps him out of the wheelchair, sitting on the cushion, propping his leg up on a pillow, gasping in awe at how he curls up to her, giggling. "Hewwo big Sissy!" Kelsey softly lets a whine of awe out as she's just been chosen as Little Carter's Big Sister and she loves it. Looking at Dana and Chad, he grins. "Big Broda!" Turning to Dana, he smiles more as he says "Aunty Dana!!"

[sincelastsession]

My dad is an abusive bastard and a hypocrite and a piece of shit father. I am sick of the abuse.

I am having the worst ptsd episode and I'm considering going to the hospital if a cold shower doesn't knock me out of it.

Fuck this shit Joshua. He FUCKING MANIPULATED YOU

I told you he would

And like now he's got you how he got Robin to think of me is my fear. And goddamn she was awful.

I'm in the worst PTSD flare up of my life and I am continuously abused and I do not know how long the thread I am hanging by is going to last because I have been Through too much to be treated like garbage at my age

I don't think anyone understands that I'm a really nice kind person and I used to have a side of me that was not

And I don't think people understand that if they keep pushing me and I lose touch with reality and have to go to a grippy sock vacation and I get out of the grippy salt vacation I'm not going to be fucking nice to anybody anymore I am so fucking tired of this shit

All I have ever asked is for my parents to educate themselves about their daughter's health conditions just like most families do they will at least read a little bit about it so they can understand or they will clarify and talk to people in a healthy manner

But no it doesn't matter what I do or say I still get treated like shit on someone's shoe

I need to move I was told that it was not happening anytime soon even though before that I was told that it would be happening next month

I told them I cannot last very much longer in this environment and it fell on deaf ears

I would not do well in a grippy sock vacation home I don't do well in those medication changes are not needed and I do not get the rest I need and it makes everything worse

I am scared that I am going to lose touch and control over myself if I have to continue to be subjected to stressful and abusive stimuli

Do you know what happens when you beat a dog enough

They are eventually going to die or bite you back

Perceive an experiment they did where they would shock dogs they would have open cages and the dogs could leave the cages at any time but the dogs didn't know when they would get shocked so they would just howl and cry and their cage is not knowing if they could leave or not without getting shocked

There's a good metaphor for you

I am mad

I do not think that you know enough about me and these fucking people gonna abuse me constantly

I'm not a controlling person I'm not a bad person I'm not like this when I'm doing well

But if people push at me and push it me and push it me I'm going to break

And I don't know what that's going to look like and that scare the absolute fuck out of everybody else as well

My psychiatrist is terrified for me

I am scared for me

Psychiatric facility is disgoing to make everything worse there's no place I can go to get rest and relaxation from everything I can't even afford a hotel room for the evening

I want my supposed to pay for a gym membership and also pay for a phone bill and be financially stable by fucking September

I need a safety net of money in order to get the fuck away from my parents

I don't know how to do under the table stuff and I don't know who to speak to and who's an expert on it and I do not feel comfortable breaking rules

I really really don't like to lie and I really really really don't like to break rules

Maybe when I was a teenager it would have been easier but no I have always gotten in trouble since I was tiny for doing anything that my parents didn't like even if it was a normal thing that kids do

I don't think you understand the amount of micro management abuse control that has happened to me and continues to happen to me at 37 years old I was thrown in fucking therapy at 12 because of their bullshit and them saying oh we don't know why our precious little daughter suddenly is a bitch here go to therapy that will magically fix you and I have been in therapy since and I could probably become a therapist but that's not going to fix the problem

I know what's in my circle of control and that's not very much right now

I can't even control parts of my own self in my circle of control

And my dad had this big giant freakish tantrum that sounded completely paranoid telling me that I was trying to control him when I just asked him to stop talking for a second please because he kept interrupting me and then telling me that I was interrupting him when I was speaking first and it was not his turn to speak and he kept saying I was cutting him off when he was the one cutting me off he's projecting

I'm not doing half of what he says I'm doing

He has literally taken a Doctor when I was in the ER for serious fucking pain because I have degenerative disease and one of my fucking disk got messed up

He took the Doctor out in the hall and told them that I was manipulative and all this other shit that's not true They told them that I was too smart and I would try to control everything and I wasn't planning on that I wasn't caring about that I was in too much pain to give a fuck but I was very very mad that he just went within earshot of me and talked to a medical professional behind my back and told them things that were not true

Because he has to be in control he doesn't believe that I have any of the mental issues that I have that are diagnosed on paper by very very accredited doctors.

I didn't diagnose myself they did

I am so sick of being treated like I'm the worst adult daughter that's disabled on earth

I'm so tired of the resentful abusive treatment

I am so tired of being only treated nice when people are gonna get something out of me

I have a very tiny tiny support system that doesn't even work all the time because people aren't available all the time and I'm aware of that

And I'm aware that my parents are having money struggles but most of that is bullshit and you need to know that because they made bad choices and that affected me and yes I'm an adult but they didn't teach me things and I don't know what I'm supposed to learn and I miss cues and I don't understand a lot of things that seem really easy to other people and they're hard for me and I've tried it's not like I can't it's not like I haven't tried I've been treated like shit

I don't understand why I'm a target for people to treat like shit

Do I just need to start acting like a psycho bitch all the time to everybody to get some God damn respect

Because I don't want to be like that

You know everybody's complaining to me about my sister and I had spoken to my sister days before she attacked me and told her that I would happily sit down with her and help her find all the doctors she needed to find on her insurance and I would help call and make appointments and even take her to the Doctor appointment

I was willing to go that far out of my way for somebody who doesn't really even answer my phone calls or give a fuck about me

I was willing to go out of my way because my parents are incapable of being parents

I basically raised her as best I could when my parents weren't teaching her how to treat me like shit and teaching her bad habits that are affecting her now

You know why we're so much alike we're so much alike because my parents didn't really change their parenting style and she's healthy and she can work but she's pretending to be disabled now because she thinks I'm pretending

And there's just so much bullshit and I'm so tired of it I am so fucking tired of it Joshua

I understand that you don't have a magic wand and you can't fix all of this but I'm just telling you the truth of what is going on

I can be defensive and interrupting and all of that and some of it I can help and some of it I can't and I don't know if it's a neurological condition or if it's literally because I haven't been able to be calm in I don't even know how long

And I live in Louisiana which has the worst mental health care in the fucking United States it seems like maybe I'm wrong but it feels that way

And I don't feel like anybody believes me and I don't feel loved and I don't feel cared about And I don't even feel like a person to have at the time and I don't understand what's so hard about people just learning about me why is it so hard for my family to just calm down and shut the fuck up and listen and and learn

We could be having wonderful conversations together and spending time together if they would just stop treating me so badly

And they always act like they're so innocent and perfect and then I'm the one that gets the fussing

I have always been the fucking whipping boy for everybody

And I'm sick of it

I feel like the goddamn velveteen rabbit

I was loved and then they threw me the fuck away and there's no fairy coming to turn me into a real person instead of a destroyed shell of a person

I have worked my ass off for years only to be shoved backwards over and over and I'm still under their thumbs

Do you know what my father said to me

He told me that I should just pretand and seduced Travis and I was like no he's like a brother. And my dad was like oh you'll get over that why don't you just marry him and then you know when you have sex you can just keep your eyes closed he said something like that to me and it was the most fucked up thing I have ever heard of father tell their daughter other than all the other fucked up things he said to me

I am going to download a phone call recording app on to my phone at some point so you can hear what it's really like

Because the recordings I sent you are absolutely just the lightest version of what I have to deal with

And you said it was safe for me to talk to him again

It is not he was just on his very best behavior he was just fucking manipulating you and I warned you about that I did unless you know about it and plan to talk to me about all of that I don't know

But right now I am in distress I'm having a meltdown and APTSD episode I'm having flashbacks I can't get it to stop I'm going to have to take an extra medicine I'm going to have to go smoke my brains out I'm going to have to go take a bath or throw myself into the shower I'm going to have to go get some ice and put it on my neck and I shouldn't have to be doing any of this

None of these bad things ever should have happened to me

And my dad said that I was punishing him on the phone he said I was punishing him because I was trying to talk to him

That's so hurtful

I just wonder how many more ti'm it's gonna take until I just go completely dead inside and the psycho bitch comes out to play and teach everyone that they should have treated Kim better because she's innocent and harmless and kind and they are KILLING HER THEY ARE MAKING THIS ALL HAPPEN and no one believes her. She can't trust anyone. She can't get anyone to open thier eyes a see. She hates that this is how she is and she's breaking into pieces and I shouldn't even be here and there's no medicine that's going to fix her better

And I don't feel loved.

I don't hate myself or really think of myself in the classic "you need to love yourself"

How can I love myself when I don't know who that is.

How can I even trust anyone when all I've known is hurt

Fuck this earth

Fuck it all to hell

I don't understand this world

I don't understand the social norm rules and the cues that I'm supposed to get

There's no manual for people like me

And then half of the rules don't even make sense

And people don't even understand what doctors and medical studies are telling them about their loved ones that suffer just like me because they don't care enough to go and learn

And they always make themselves the victim after they have created me into a monster it's very much like Frankenstein I'm the monster and they are Doctor Frankenstein

And the thing is it all seems to boil down to money and that was never my fault

I have watched my parents fuck up their lives since I was a child and I tried to tell them what they were doing was wrong but I was a child and nobody would listen to me and I was to be quiet and seen and not heard or I was to be putting on a show or whatever they wanted me to do

I can't even make art to sell under the table or anything else because I feel horribly wrong and guilty for trying to do that Also I'm entirely too stressed out to offer any of the services or things that I am good at

Also I don't really enjoy any of it anymore because it's just been beaten into my head that that's supposed to be what I'm supposed to do I never got to choose what I wanted to be or do it was always pushed on to me

I have had what feels like 0 autonomy I just have times where nobody's controlling me and I can kind of do what I want

But I'm always terrified that I'm going to get into trouble

Even though I never did anything so heinous and bad that would've gotten me into the kind of trouble that I would get into even if I didn't do the dishes

Do you know what it's like to be called a worthless stupid bitch that's not going to go anywhere in life and all the other curses and things you could possibly come up with in your head from the age of like ability to understand till now still

And to be attacked by your sister who is 22 and an fucking adult and then your father who actually gave you damage to your neck and if he had pulled your hair harder he would have killed you or paralyzed you I have it in medical records

I could send him to jail I could send her to jail but no one's going to believe me because they will manipulate and lie

Because I already got threatened that he would call the cops and throw everything out of the house that is mine so I would have to pick it up off the ground every single day driving across town to make sure that the garbage truck doesn't take my belongings away that I can't bring into this apartment because they smell of pure cat piss because my parents just hoarded animals and then neglected to clean up after them and expected me and my sister to do all the work and now my sister is taking over the house and making it into her house when it is not her place to do and she is stealing things from my mother and from me and my dad is saying that this is all OK and there was no way for me to come and get all of my things and bring them all upstairs to my upstairs apartment without it smelling like pure catPiss ammonia because there's no way to air all of it out in the type of apartment I live in and I don't want to have to not get my deposit fee back when I move.

And then like hud housing and housing authority and section 8 I've tried to talk to all of them and the areas of town that they have places that would possibly be available for a voucher etc are not safe and are not what I need

And I'm not trying to be a brat about it

And I wish people would understand that the way I think is not anything like anybody else

And when I say that I don't think in a normal everyday typical person's way

I don't have this evil part of my brain that sits around and thanks about what awful thing will I do next

It doesn't really cross my mind until I am amped up and freaking out because I've had too much stimuli or I'm triggered and I'm having a fucking episode

I was diagnosed by a Doctor who worked for the VA the big VA clinic up North With complex PTSD and the coroner is the one helped me with that

And I haven't had this diagnosis very long and I have always wondered what the fuck was wrong with me because I've been on medication for fucking everything and it probably fucked my brain up

And all I want to do is get better make money go to school Make more money be financially stable and have a partner and live my life in fucking peace

I just want to be like my friends

And I see the looks on their faces when they're talking to me that they can't hide and I can read exactly what's going on with them

I know what they all think of me

I have overheard conversations

I have overheard my own family talking shit about me and my sister and my sister's friends and pretty much everybody

Nobody likes me and that's fine I've come to terms with that it hurts like a motherfucker but I know that nobody really likes me

Nobody tries to get to know me

Nobody asks me questions about myself

If somebody was given a piece of paper and ask to write about Kim how accurate do you think they would be how much shit do you think that they would just make up on the fly and hope was correct

Why is it that I know everybody's dirty little secrets and everything about everybody I do the most and nobody could give a fuck about me

How is it that's okay

How do social systems work in my age group because I'm not understanding

Am I supposed to find a cool outfit to wear and stand around and act like some sort of goddamn hipster that is very self-important

And I'm excluding Travis from this because that's a whole different story becauseHe hasn't been around me but for a short time And I'm just waiting for the other shooter drop with him as my friend so far it has not but Travis has also been through hell he's had great parents who do give a fuck about him and show him love and affection and he has a brother who is autistic so his parents are very understanding his family is very nice and kind and wonderful and holy shit I wish I could have feelings for him in a romantic sense and run away into the sunset but that's not gonna happen because gross that's like my brother

And then my partner is dealing with all sorts of stuff and is very busy and wishes for me to find another primary partner here and understands that I'm not doing well and that's not happening any time soon but I'm miserable and I would like to find a friend with benefits or another primary partner here or even just a girl to have little biromantic dates with because I am lonely

And then I do make friends and then I'm scared because I don't know how to talk to them I don't know what I'm supposed to do

I was bullied my entire life I was bullied from elementary school till high school and passed that

It's like I'm literally so stressed out that I'm having my heart problems resurface and that's scary and I have an emergency PCP appointment so I can switch to this new heart Doctor so I can get the heart problem that is very distressing checked out

Also I have so much grief about so many people dying and so many horrible things happening to me I don't know what to do with it

I have tried to grieve I've tried to throw it away but I can't because it's all trauma related and it's all stuck in my head and I wish I could pluck it out

And I am so angry I am angry I am so fucking angry

But I think that I'm angry for valid reasons

I feel like people only see one side of me which is an intelligent person who can speak a lot and that must mean that she can do everything else because she can do that and a couple other things but that's not how I work

[wonderfulmangotea]

Long vent/ word vomit incoming

(Not that i expect this to get any notes I'm just venting/writing out my thoughts)

So the results for the lump that they removed from my breast is that it was cancerous so I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday.

This understandably has been very upsetting and scary to me. And I keep going from scared and crying, to angry, to trying really hard not to think about it, or just trying to make Wyatt as a situation and make a couple jokes (ie: my eyebrows are really light and hard to see so people mistake it for me shaving off my eyebrows and so I made the joke that hey now my eyebrows match my condition) and just like....more darker humor too.

And I also have a pretty bad shopping addiction used to I could manage it and pay the bills and everything else before I bought anything for myself but for the past year or two sometimes I would have to wait till the next check because I overspent on things that weren't really necessary. I know this stems from having the motto when I was depressed of getting my serotonin where I could get it and it could be most easily gotten from shopping. And though I'm taking medicine and no longer have depressive thoughts as much I still use that unhealthy coping mechanism of buying things to kind of perk me up when I'm feeling a little down.

Recently my boyfriend has kind of been cracking down on me for buying so much unnecessary stuff, saying that I need to save money in case of emergencies and especially now that I'm about to have a ton of doctor's visits another surgery possibly chemo or radiation if it comes to that.

And he makes a valid point and I know I need to slow down on spending but it's really hard. I figured a nice work around would be that I save up for something nice instead of buying a bunch of little trinkets that add up, for example there's a really nice dress that costs $125 and it's in my favorite color but it's only there for a limited time, so I figured instead of buying a bunch of random stuff from like the thrift store or whatever I would save my money to buy this dress. When I told him about it he flat out said no I don't need to be spending money period.

Now I don't know about you but in drug addicts or any kind of addict really it's really hard to quit cold turkey, so I figured this would be a kind of slow buildup to not spending money like crazy.

So it kind of upset me and kind of made me mad because on one hand it's my money that I worked for I should be able to spend it however I want to, but on the other hand I know it's a bad habit and also he's the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life and is just looking out for my well-being. ( his thing is that he always goes out to eat instead of cooking at home which can become very expensive and unhealthy) this is also kind of made me a little bit more sneaky about buying things I'll try to hide stuff or get to the package before he does and I know that that isn't a good way to go about things.

Lately I've been trying to find more clothes that fit my style because I gained a lot of weight and most of my clothes don't fit anymore so my confidence has also been pretty much in an all-time low.

I also really need to go through my things because not going to lie to the house has become a little bit crowded from all the stuff I've bought I'm a little afraid that I'll become a hoarder.

I probably need to go see a therapist but any good ones are like an hour drive away because I really don't want to use any from the mental health place we have here I've worked in the field and I know how fucked up some of the psychiatrists can be about treating their clients. In fact the first psychiatrist I tried to see years and years ago was so condescending and so arrogant he walked up to his standing computer typed in a bunch of stuff looked down at me sitting in the chair and said all the things in my head are my own fault and honestly I don't remember if he really said anything else besides that because all I remember next is being in the nurse's office bawling my eyes out about what an asshole he was and telling them never to set me up with that psychiatrist again. I went back and saw a different psychiatrist for 2 years and the most she helped me with was somewhat depression, they never told me that they couldn't prescribe ADHD medication and I kept begging to be put on ADHD medication because it was really negatively affecting my life and she would always change the subject or brush me off until one day she put me on this third rate drug called Strattera that made me sick as a dog I lost 20 lb in like a week or two, and it took me going to the Urgent Care to try and get something for the nausea for the doctor there to just be like why don't I just put you on Adderall that doctor did more for me in 5 seconds then my psychiatrist did for me in 2 years. I also had tried to change psychiatrists and the people at the desk told me it would be medically negligent for them to let me change psychiatrist because she had been my psychiatrist for so long and knew me best. This bitch did not even consider diagnosing me with bipolar which one I asked my current doctor Who is not a psychiatrist but deals with a lot of psychiatric patients, said that I checked off pretty much every box there was for bipolar but because he wasn't a psychiatrist he couldn't actually diagnose me or prescribe me bipolar medicine all he could do was prescribe mood stabilizers, which helped so much. But I still need to talk to a psychiatrist because I want to bipolar diagnosis not to change my medication but just to have the diagnosis and know that I'm not making it up in my head even though my doctor said pretty much that I checked off every box. But my best bet is probably going to be a private practice which probably will not be covered by my insurance.

TLDR; I was diagnosed with breast cancer so I've been dealing with that, I have a pretty bad shopping addiction and I'm dealing with that, my local Mental Health places suck and I have bad experiences with them etc.

[diavolosthots]

Felt like crying, so I came to you, my friend! Mc and Mammon went out shopping, specifically to buy gifts for his brothers, as an apology. When they get back home they are met with hostility. They berate Mammon until Mc screams at them to shut up, then rips into each of them for their treatment of Mammon. Then finishes with "Don't expect Mammon to stay here when he can live with me in the humanworld. I'm done with you. Mammon, lets go, you deserve better, love" and leaves w/ Mammon. Thank you!

You came to me because you felt like crying and that gives me two (2) things to think about. 1.) I'm apparently someone who people see as a tissue? 2.) My angst is just THAT good. Also! Apparently today is rain on Mammon day and I'm here for it not me avoiding my exam to write these things

Warning: uh.... Angst?

Soul-Searching (MAMMON X GN!READER ft. THE BROTHERS)

“You know, I’m proud of you for suggesting this.” Truly, you were. Mammon was your favorite and you felt for him, but you also completely understood where his brothers came from. At first, it honestly annoyed you as well; the constant stealing, the lying… You tried blaming it on his avatar, but even then it doesn’t explain the lying that comes with it. However, you do realize that it’s a habit and it’s a habit that is hard to fix, so instead of constantly getting onto him like the rest, you tried to understand him a bit more and give him some life advice. So far, you have managed to get Mammon to give back all the things he has recently taken from his brothers, and some of them even got an apology. You’ll be working on how to properly apologize, though, because oof, that was a mess. 

And now? Now you managed to take a small trip with him downtown to at least attempt to make things better. Mammon is now, or at least today, using his own money to buy some things that his brothers would be fond of: a new vinyl player for Lucifer (non-cursed), a new Ruri-chan t-shirt for Leviathan, a neck pillow for Satan because lord knows he has some cramps back there with the way he leans over and down to read his books. Then some perfume for Asmodeus that he had been swooning about, a gift card to Beel’s favorite restaurant for the glutton, and a heated blanket for Belphie. You were proud, truly, that Mammon wanted to do this. As a matter of fact, he was the one who suggested it. “Maybe… uh.. I could… ya know… buy somethin’ they like” is what he said. You were just excited and agreed to help. 

Now you were going back to the house with a few shopping bags and ice cream almost fully eaten. You paid for the ice cream, as a way to reward Mammon, and you’re sure he’s secretly thanking you for that because some of these items truly did burn a hole into his credit card, which is partially his fault. “Lucifer deserves more than some random vinyl player.” his words, not yours. Also “satan needs one of them neck pillows that massage it, too!” again, his words. So yeah, some money was definitely spent on these items, but… once again, you were proud. “I think they’ll love everything, Mam. They’d be fools if they didn’t.” Hearing you say that made Mammon feel a lot better, honestly, and a small rush of confidence came to the surface “Ya betcha they will! Nothin’ but the best from the Great Mammon!” You just laughed. 

However, upon arrival, it was a different sight. As a matter of fact, you barely made it through the door before Beel was grumbling something about Mammon eating his custard, which is true, but it’s just a custard? “MAAMMMOONNN!!” and then there was Lucifer who appeared so fast you wondered if he was even real. He went on a whole rant about how irresponsible Mammon is and how another bill came in the mail that talks about Mammon’s debt. Satan and Belphegor teamed up to show empty hands, which left both you and Mammon confused, but then “do you see anything here? No? That’s because you sold our belongings, Mammon!” Mammon can be lucky that Leviathan was still holed up in his room because he just remembered that he also, at some point in the past, sold one of Levi’s figures. Asmodeus came last and honestly he wasn’t mad, he was just annoyed. “I saw you go through my things, Mammon. Nothing was taken, but it was still so incredibly rude!” 

Next followed a screaming match which was basically just Mammon trying to defend himself, trying to show the bags and apologize, but none of them would have it. It irritated you. Yes, they had every right to be mad because personal belongings should stay with their owner(s), but at the same time, they didn’t even give Mammon a chance to explain, especially after he’s been holding the bags up and attempting to apologize. “You’re so stupid, Mammon” “StupidMammon” “so irresponsible. You know better than that. Do you need another time out session, Mammon?” “I can’t believe you’d go through my stuff again!” by now your eyes were twitching and the voices echoing off the walls surely didn’t help your case. One more word and you’d snap, surely, especially since Mammon’s hand is now shaking and you grabbing it did nothing at all. “We would be better off without you.”

Ah yes, there it is. The final straw. The amount of anger boiling inside you right now isn’t even manageable anymore and you’re surprised that Satan, as the Avatar of Wrath, has yet to notice it. “Shut up! Shut up, Shut up, Shut up! All of you!” You yanked Mammon behind you, almost protectively and Belphegor found the need to laugh at it. “Really? You’re going to protect him?” Oh, there. That’s your first victim. “Are you really that dense, Belphegor, or is sleep still clouding your brain cells? That is your brother you’re currently making fun of and I don’t know about you, but I was taught that family sticks together, blood related or by choice. So how about you get your head out of dreamland, take this stupid heated blanket that he bought for you, as an apology, and wake up for a second.” yes, you did throw the bag at him and then you pointed your finger at Beel. You’d regret later on that you’re tearing into him as well because Beel means well at the end of the day, but still, he was also part of this. 

“You’re my least worry, Beel. Honestly you’re too caught up in your burgers and brawns to care for a second that your brother tries very hard to be liked by all of you. Sad, really.” you threw the card at him too. As a matter of fact, you threw all of the bags right in front of them. “And then Asmo.. oh my God, first of all, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Shocker, I know. If you were half as empathetic toward your family as you are obsessed with yourself, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to always go party and drink your life away. Oh, I’m sorry, did that hit just a little too hard? Can’t be harder than the hangovers you wake up with on a regular basis.” You glared at him before turning your attention to Satan. “Honestly, if you weren’t such a baby inside I may actually be scared of you. You always complain about how stupid he is, how he needs to just learn, but you? What do you do all day? You hole yourself up in your room and read about worlds that you wish you could enter. News flash: you’d die before you had the chance to say hello. People don’t like self-proclaimed assholes. Mammon IS smart. He’s very talented, too, but you’re too far up in Shakespeare’s ass that you fail to realize that everyone has knowledge in different fields of life. Give me a break.” 

Satan was about to retort but you already moved on to Levi. “and you! Let’s be honest, if it weren’t for you wallowing in self-pity and fake depression, you would have absolutely no personality traits. What are you again? The Avatar of Envy? How about instead of being envious of others’ accomplishments, you actually start working on yourself. It’s truly pathetic that a couple millenia old demon’s only purpose in life is ramen and self inflicted emotional pain. Seriously, what are you? A pitiful loner? I can’t even begin to empathize with you in any way, shape, or form.” Your blood was boiling right now and maybe if they hadn’t attacked Mammon like they did, you would’ve felt bad about Levi’s sad face right now, but there was still one person left to deal with.”

“And you… beautiful, responsible, way-too-good-for-you older brother, Lucifer.” He’s been glaring at you this whole time, arms crossed over his chest but you stood your ground. You’re not quite sure how you managed, but you did. “You call yourself the best, the most responsible. You constantly say this family would fall apart without you, but that’s not it, is it? I think you’re just lonely. You force these six to be by you, to respect you and borderline worship you. Not because you deserve it…” you chuckled, shaking your head, “no. You’re just so sad that Daddy and Michael left you, mocked you, that you turned your sadness into anger and took it out on these six, but especially Mammon. Why? Because you see yourself in him. You call him your favorite brother, but it’s not because he actually is… he just reminds you of everything you used to be: fun, reckless, and feeling. Now you’re just cold, mean, and bitter. Don’t bother calling yourself the mighty first because without him you would be neither. Maybe if you pulled that stick out of your arse and actually tried to get to know your brothers, maybe you wouldn’t be so lonely all the time. Family, right? That’s what you want. How about you start acting like one.” 

You shook your head after that, grabbing Mammon’s hand and kicking the bags in front of you before dragging Mammon back out the door. “Those are for you, by the way. Not that you deserve them, but they’re Mammon’s way of apologizing for all the things you accused him of the minute he set foot into the house. Have fun. We’re going to the castle and, if we’re lucky, to a real home.” 

[fezcooo]

UNFORESEEN

Fez was sitting on the counter, scrolling down his Phone when the door opened and he saw her come in. It was past 1am. He could tell from her face that she'd been crying. He didn't say anything and decided he 'd just stay quiet. After all it wasn't none of his business. He didn't like meddling with other people's stuff. It always came running back to you. He could see she was shaking a bit. Only wearing a dress. Ten minutes passed, Fez was behind the counter. The girl approched and gave Fez two candy bars. Ten minutes for such a simple shot. He found it weird, and he could see the girl's eyes staying alert. She kept looking left and right, as if someone was after her.  He took the five dollar bills she passed her and as he was about to give her the change the door opened.

"Lexi ? I know you're here baby girl"

Lexi. That's how he knew her. He knew Cassie had à little sister that went to that High School. Hell now that you mention it, he even could swear Rue had mentionned her a few times. So here she was. Holding two candy bars and shaking in front of his counter. He could tell she was terrified. He got out from behind the counter making sure of tucking his gun in his pants. Lexi noticed and their eyes met for a brief moment.

"We closed for the night boy. Get out." Fez said walking towards the guy that entered. He knew him. Nate. First class jerk. He could tell the boy had been drinking.

"I just wanna talk to Lexi. I saw her come in." Nate said pushing Fez.

"She ain't wanna talk to you now get out."

Fez was trying to keep the situation under control. He could feel Lexi eyes on him. He didn't know how but it's as if he could feel her fear. And damn he hated that. He grabbed Nate and pushed him towards the door.

"I told ya we're closed now get out"

"Lex I know you're here. If you don't come see me tomorow evening I'm sending all these lil pictures of your cute lil cunt to every single person in East High. You know I ain't bluffing" Nate chuckled and took à last look at Fez before leaving the store.

No one had to be a magician to guess what all this was about. He sighed and walked back towards the counter. He could see tears on that Lexi girl's cheeks. And although he didn't know her, he didn't like seeing her crying. She looked all cute and nice for that crackhead highschool. She deserved better than to be dragged around by that motherfucker.

"The pictures are they on his phone or his computer ?" He asked while counting the cash he had made today.

"I don't know, he took them on his phone."

"Today ?"

Lexi just nodded. Fez got next to her and gave her a gun. Putting it in her hands.

"I'll be out for a minute. You stay put. If something happens yell. Ashtray's sleeping but he'll wake".

Lexi couldn't even say anything before Fez was out. She sat down on the counter. The gun in front of her. She passed her fingers on her face attempting to clean up the tears on her cheeks. And proceeded to eat her chocolate bars. Her breathing was starting to calm down. Damn she hated men. She hated Nate. She never should have followed him. She had had a few drinks, she wasn't used to it. Her head was pounding and he had taken her upstairs to a small room. Lexi had never really done anything with a boy before. But she knew it wasn't supposed to happen like this. He had torn her tights. She could still see the mark of it. He had pushed her and had started kissing her. Lexi was so scared and drunk that she didn't even manage to push him off. He was so tall, so strong. All she could do was stare at him. Reviving these images led to more tears flowing down her cheeks. He had pushed her dress up and had started touching her. She wanted to scream but she was so afraid no sound came out of her mouth. What if he just decided to kill her there and now. So she had stayed quiet. She had seen his hand grabbing his phone. That's when she guessed that he was taking pictures. She tried to push him away with her legs but his grip was firm. He then proceeded to remove his belt. Lexi kept her eyes shut and started praying for anything to happen to stop this. And that's when someone started banging on the door.

"POLICE POLICE S HERE ! The neighbours called"

Nate got up at the speed of lightning and left.  Leaving her alone. On that bed. She felt used and dirty. She just wanted to go home but she knew she couldn't show up like this. What if her mom or Cassie saw her. So she slowly got out and started walking. Afraid he was going to find her and finish what he had started. That's when she entered Fezco's little shop.  She just wanted to feel safe. She knew Nate wouldn't try anything if other people were around. He was a coward. Always had been.

Lexi had grabbed a third chocolate bar when the door opened. She couldn't tell if it was Nate or Fez. In a moment of panic she grabbed the gun pointing it towards whoever was gonna come towards her. And dear how relieved she felt when she saw that redhead come through.

He smiled at her and threw a phone on the counter.

"This his." He just muttered.

Lexi noticed that Fez had some blood on his knuckled but she didn't dare ask what had happenned. She saw a hammer on the side of the counter and proceeded to break down the phone.

She then threw it all away in the trash can.

"If you wanna take a shower before going home, my place's just here" he said casually.

"I'd love to" hell that's all she needed. She wanted to drown in that shower. She was just processing what had happenned. Never in her whole life had she felt this afraid. She hated Nate. And she hoped that the blood of Fezco's knuckles was his. Dear she almost wished she had been there to see him get punched.

The were at Fez's place. He grabbed a towel, à sweatshirt and sweatpants and gave them to Lexi.

"It might be large.  But I thought maybe you'd want fresh clothes"

She smiled at him. She loved the fact that he didn't ask any questions. Nothing. He just let her be. As if nothing had happenned. She didn't feel judged. She spent a very long time under the shower. Just letting the water flow down on her body. She used soap five times on her body scrubbing on her thighs over and over again but it's like he wouldn't go away. She kept feeling his hands on her. Someone knocked on the door and she felt it was Fez.

"You okay ?"

"Yes" she muttered closing down the water.

She was far from being okay but she couldn't talk about it. She put on the pants he'd given her and the sweat-shirt. She opened the door and saw Fez in the corridor smoking a blunt. She just walked towards what seemed to be the kitchen and threw her own clothes in the trash can.  Before walking back towards Fez.

"Thanks I'll get home now"

"I'll drop you" he muttered.

□□□□□□□□□□□□

A month had passed when he crossed Lexi again. In a place she had no business doing in at all. He came to get some stuff to sell. These guys sold and had everything from DMT to coke to crystal, meth and heroin. He just needed some coke to sell to some customers of his. Maddy was sitting on the side of the couch when their eyes met and he couldn't let go. He saw her looking elsewhere. Pretnding that she hadn't seen him. But he knew better.

Fez hated staying here and chit chatting with this men but seeing Lexi here, on her own. He felt as if he had too. He started rolling himself a blunt.

"You met Lexi Fezco ?"

Some guy asked

"Might have, i know her sis" he mumbled before rolling up his joint.

"She's into the hard stuff. You should see how it works with kids these days."

Fez's fist clenched on his own. He wasn't from the highschool but he knew kids from there. And Rue would often talk about it. The few times she'd mention Lexi it was always about how she was the one taking care of others. The sober girl. The stuck up kid. And here she was. Between assholes who sold death to kids. Fez knew he had to be smart about it, cause he was alone. And everyone was armed. But he had something he trusted, something he relied on since he was a kid. His balls.

"I know her dad's a fed. High up there in the ranks. I don't wanna fuck with that"

He instantly felt the tension in the room. The guys started to give Lexi some space and Fez just inhaled his stuff.

A few minutes passed of everyone talking when Fez got up to leave.

"Yo you know where she lives don't ya"

Fez nodded knowing where this was going.

"Take her. I ain't wanna get fucked over cause her daddy finds out her lil girl's a crackhead."

Lexi was high. He could tell. She barely reacted and followed him. Sitting in the car. Not saying a word. As if she was empty.

"What did you take ?" He asked her

"I don't remember" she said looking by the window of the car.

"This shit ain't gonna help you." He said staring at the road

"You think it does, but it just fucks you up even more"

"Then should I just kill myself Fez ?" She asked not turning around to look at him.

"Shit happens to everyone. Yet you don't see anyone going out there and ending their lives do you. You gotta fight. Stand up for yourself and fight."

"I can't" she whispered

The car stopped. He looked at her. They had arrived in front of her place. He saw Cassie Maddie and Nate near the drive way laughing together.

"I see him every day." Her voice was soft. She wasn't angry. She was calm and composed. "Every day, it it's not in classes, it's home, with my sister, or my parents. At dinner.  And when I finally think he's gone and I close my eyes to fall asleep, i feel his hands on me. I hear his voice telling me how pretty I look. How bad he wants to fuck me."

Fez didn't know what to say. He passed his hands on his head. Trying to stay composed. But all he wanted to do know was walk towards Nate and murder that boy.

"Still drugs ain't going to help you Lexi, i know it's hard"

"Then what should I do Fez ?"

She asked staring straight at him.

□□□□□□□□□□□□

A few months had passed. Lexi was going to therapy. She had stopped drugs and that was mostly due to Fez keeping an eye on her. She felt better but still like shit to be honest. She just knew how to deal with stuff in a nicer way. She had heard from Rue that tomorow was Fez's birthday. She had mentioned it a week ago and Lexi had remembered it. No one really knew at East High that Lexi and Fez knew each other. It was a kind of kept secret. She decided to dress up a little and walked to the shop. She wanted to wish him. She had even gotten him a little gift. It wasn't much but it still was a little something. It was a small golden chain for his wrist. She knew he'd like it. She pushed open the door of the store and found him already looking up at her smiling.

"Happy birthday Fezco" she said giving him the little box she had packed.

Fezco never really celebrated his birthday and never had he really gotten gifts on that day. It was just a day like others. He couldn't explain why he felt happy receiving a gift from Lexi. He smiled when he saw the chain.

"I hope you like it"

"I love it ma, it's wonderfull"

He grabbed it and tried to put it on.

"Let me" she said grabbing his hand and putting on the chain properly on it so it wouldn't fall of.

"Thanks... it's erm, it's really cool, you're kind"

"So are you Fez"

They didn't speak much. Just stayed there. Sitting next to each other. Chatting from time to time but mostly comfortably enjoying silence together.

"You got a girlfriend Fez ?' She asked out of the blue, causing Fez to almost choke on his blunt.

"Nah"

"Boyfriend ?" She enquired

"I' m single"

"How's that ?"

"I just, i'm not searching I guess. Same as you"

"How do you know I'm single ?"

"You wouldn't be sitting out here with me drinking beer out of a can at 2am after giving me a lil gold chain if you weren't single ma"

Lexi couldn't help but blush. Damn. So he knew she liked him did he.

"I like you too, you know what i'm saying" he whispered

Lexi was a blushing mess.

"I don't know your birthday but I'm gonna give you a lil gift too when it comes." Lexi laughed at Fez's words. He made her feel safe. Feel light.

"I wanted to thank you Fez. You... you really did help me through a lot"

Fez just nodded and the silence installed itself once again between them. It lasted a few minutes before Lexi decided to break it.

"When you said you like me. In what way did you mean it ?" She asked getting down of the counter standing up, between Fez's legs. He was still sitting on the counter sipping his beer.

"I like you ma that's all"

"As a friend ?" She asked pushing him to be clearer

"As whatever you want me to be ma"

Lexi had always been quite shy. She wished she was bolder sometimes.  Like her sister was. Daring. She never had been that way. And she could tell Fez was the same.

She was about to say something when the door opened and à customer entered. Fez didn't move and watch the woman walk towards them.

"Hey honey?" She asked Fez

"I need a bottle of Jack" Fez obliged and got it for her telling her the price. She paid up. Her hand lingering on Fez's hand. The woman turned around and Lexi noticed Fez looking at her walking away.

"Why you looking at her like you never seen a woman before" she mumbled.

Fez couldn't help but laugh. Was she showing jealousy.

"Just observing"

"You don't look at me that way" she said

"How would you know ? Got eyes behind that big head of yours ?"

She stuck her tongue out at him and he only could laugh.

"I stared cause she was sexy. Don't mean anything."

Lexi didn't answer and was busy arranging the front display. Hell she was acting like she worked here.

"Everyone would have stared. That skirt and all."

"I know everyone stares at my sister like that." She said not bothering to look up.

"You're lucky I'm into cute girls rather than sexy' he said trying to redeem himself.

"Are you saying I'm not sexy Fezco ?"

"That's not what I meant" he mumbled staring at her.

She got up and grabbed her bag.

"I gotta go birthday boy. Catch up soon" he nodded and watched her leaving his store

□□□□□□□□□

Two days had passed when she entered the store. She was with her friend Maddie and two guys Fez didn't know. He could tell they were all gonna attend a party considering the drinks they were purchasing and their outfits. His eyes were glued on Lexi. She never really dressed up and seeing her in a little skirt that molded her ass this way didn't make him feel good. He could see the guys staring at her in a lustfull way and damn he hated this. Maddie paid and everyone was about to leave when Fez called out Lexi's name.

"Just go I'll join you there" Maddie nodded and she walked away with the guys. Lex turned at Fez.

"You really gonna go out like that ?" He asked staring at her outfit. The skirt was real short and her top was very revealing. It wasn't really her type of clothing. But after all she wanted to feel like she owned her body. So when Cassie had asked her if she wanted to borrow her clothes. For once she said yes. Since that night with Nate she never felt like her body was her own and dressing up was a way of coping she had found. But Fez wouldn't get that.

"Why gotta problem with my outfit ?"

She asked

"No it's just. Ain't used to seeing you like this that's all" he muttered.

"I don't even wanna go out" she said walking towards him. Her voice lowering.

"Then why you going."

"Cause I haven't gone out since that Nate thing. And I don't want that to stop me from doing that. I don't want to be afraid because of him." Fez nodded. Understanding.

"You got my number. If anything ain't right you call me up." She nodded

"Take care okay"

"I will" she said turning around towards the door.

"Yo Lexi"

She turned around, holding the door handle in her hand.

"You sexy" he said smiling. Making her blush.

□□□□□□□□□

It was very late. And she had had way too many drinks. She was having a nice evening. Her friends and her sister were having fun and seeing this made her happy. She decided to call him up. After all he'd told her she could call him up. The phone rang twice and she instantly heard his voice. He could tell she was drunk by the way she was chuckling.

"All's good ma?" He asked

"No. I miss you" she blurted out

"You just saw me."

"That doesn't change anything. I miss you."

Fez exhaled at Lexi's declaration. She was cute when she got drunk.

"Come here" she said in a soft voice

"I ain't into parties like that Lexi exept if it's for work"

"Just come see me. We can go somewhere else"

He could tell she really wanted to see him. And eventhough he hated these places he couldn't tell no to anything this girl asked.

He got into his car and drove.

Rue and Jules were standing next to Lexie talking and having drinks when Fezco's car got in.

"What's Fez doing her" Rue wondered recongnising the car.

"I called him."

"You know Fez ?'

Lexi just nodded and walked towards the car. Fez just got out and saw Lexi standing in front of him. She was so pretty. He was about to say something but before he could he felt her body collide against his. She just leaned in for a hug and he could only oblige.

"How much you had to drink sunshine ?"

"A lot" she said holding his hand and bringing him towards the people. Rue, Jules and Maddy had seen the scene. And well all of them knew Fez wasn't the kind of guy to have stories with women. And Lexi typically wasn't the kind of girl to hang around with drug dealers but hell here we were.

Fez had stayed an hour and Lexi hadn't left his side. Not even once. She was really drunk by now almost falling asleep and he decided to her her home. He said by to Rue and Jules before leaving holding Lexi's hands.  He drove up to her place waking Lexi up.  She saw her house and turned back to Fez.

"I wanna sleep with you" she mumbled closing her eyes once again.

"Lex you're drunk"

"I don't wanna sleep on my own"

Fez ended up nodding and drove back at his place.

He removed his shirt about to sleep in his sweatpants when lexi removed her skirt in front of him. And he lil top. She wasn't wearing a bra. And here she was, only wearing her panties. He caught himself staring at her ass and immediatly laid in bed turning around. Pretending he couldn't see. Hell he was a man after all. His eyes were shut when he felt her getting in bed. Her body pressing against his.

"Lex you want a shirt to sleep in" he tried.

"I want your arms" she whispered and he couldn't help but comply. And before he knew it here he was. Lying in bed with an almost naked Lexi Howard sleeping soundly in his arms.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[rogue-durin-16]

HIS WARM EYES

Summary: Some members of the Order are reticent about letting in a Lestrange, specially after Snape's betrayal. Whilst taking Harry to the the burrow, an ambush has place. Everything points to Y/n, right?

Pairing: George Weasley x Slytherin!Lestrange!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @skarlettmikaelson

Warnings: blood, injuries, death

A/N: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG AND BAD— I AM GENUINELY SORRY BUT I HAD TO

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Lestrange wasn't a good name.

It wasn't a good name in the streets, nor in close-doors, let alone amongst The Order.

That's why I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they had accepted me— well, maybe 'accepted' was a strong word; they had let me in, reticent, weary, but still they had done it. Plus, after Snape's betrayal and Dumbledore's death, no one would think there was a vacant for a Slytherin and a Lestrange.

It wasn't until I found myself exiting the abandoned Grimauld's Place along with the rest of the volunteers to go to Privet Drive, that it dawned on me; they were short on people.

They were so short on people that the Order would have to swallow my name, my family and my House.

That didn't mean they would quiet down their opinions about me being there.

"I'm gonna say it." Fred announced, taking a spot in the living room's corner while Shacklebolt, Arthur and Lupin searched the place.

"Again?" Fleur groaned.

Fred had already spoken his mind about my presence before we reached Potter's house.

His and George's shocked looks had been on me since the very first moment I had walked into the old Black's home, which was understandable; last time they saw me I was joking about joining the death eaters.

Although the shock on their faces had been accompanied by very different emotions on each.

Fred's held reticence. During our school years, he had never liked me; I would dare to say he was scared of me, even.

George's gaze, on the other hand, held hope —maybe even excitement— which was comforting.

In our first year, I had managed to draw George's interest, and for three years he was adamant about Slytherins not being 'all that bad'.

George's friendship was the thread I was hanging on; he was the only thing stopping from taking the easy way and live up to my name.

The thread was cut after he asked his mother to bring me over during Christmas, which ended up in her forbidding him to talk to me. He, being George Weasley, ignored his mom's pleads and twin's scolding and still tried his best to stay close to me, so I did what was right and, at the end of our fifth year, I cut ties with him.

It hurt more than I would dare to admit.

After our drifting apart, I was forced to completely rely on Slytherins. And you see, Slytherins, as 11 year-old George would say, aren't all that bad, but the ones my name attracted were.

They were bad sort —the worst—, and keeping that company around after our sixth year wasn't the best record to have, but Merlin's sake, I was there, I had volunteered— people change.

"Son." His father warned Fred, well aware this wasn't the time, though he obviously wanted to side with him. "Don't start again."

"Someone has yet to tell me why is she here?"

"She has a name." I hissed, unable to stop myself.

"Which is why you shouldn't be here, Lestrange." The name rolled out of his tongue like poison. "She's not one to trust."

"Oi, she's willing to risk her life, isn't she?" George's words seemed to be meant to calm his twin's temper, though his warm eyes did land on mines with a reassuring look.

"Yeah but for whom?" I tried to stay quiet as Moody had asked me too, but Fred was making it quite difficult. "If something goes wrong—"

"Weasley!" Mad-eye's tone was dry as he bursted into the room. "Are you questioning my judgment?" Fred scoffed, but stayed quiet.

"If we're throwing in the surnames, you're gonna wanna know her mum's my auntie." Tonks spoke, folding her arms.

"But you're a Hufflepuff." He was quick to respond, giving me a disgusted look. "She's a Serpent."

"And you're still a mouthful, aren't you?!" I snapped, stepping forward, though Tonks gave me a lazy tug before I could get to Fred.

"Wanna fight, Lestrange?" He had taken a couple of steps in my direction already when George yanked his twins arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yelled, giving his brother a push. "She's here for Harry! She's helping! What else do you want?!"

"Oh my gosh, Georgie— get over your teen crush already, she's not on our team!" George's knuckles went visibly white, unlike his cheeks, which turned red.

"Are you done making a scene? The three of you." Bill questioned in a calm tone, resting against the window's bench. "I don't fancy the idea either, but we need help, Fred, so shut your mouth because we have things to do."

"Pity, I was enjoying the teen drama." Moody teased before grabbing his flask and the ones who would take the Polyjuice potion moved to stand in line.

"Y/n." George's hand brushed my hand, drawing my attention to him as we stood besides one another. "I'm glad you're here." He whispered with a side smile.

"Missed me much?" I couldn't help but grin back, bumping his arm with mine. I stole a proper look at him and thought I might as well ask before the mission. "So... Teen crush huh?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him, though I could feel my own face flushing.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fancy George —could someone blame me?—, and the idea of those feelings not being unrequited was very appealing.

He only threw his head back and looked away, the half smile growing wider and more bashful. "We'll talk about it at the Burrow." He assured me, taking the flask with his right hand and squeezing mine with his left.

"If we don't die before that." I was joking, but fear was shaking me to the core.

"We won't." He looked at the potion disgusted and gave me a peeked at me saying, "You have to hear me embarrass myself first." And with a wink, he drank the potion and passed it to me.

Gosh, I couldn't get over the mission to hear him 'embarrass' himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The first five minutes were calm, despite all of us being on edge. We kept checking on each other, dreading if we lost sight of someone, that someone would banish.

The storm came when we had to dive into the dark clouds.

Funnily enough, I did think it was a literal storm before entering; oh, what I would have given for it to be a literal storm.

Black, cloaked intruders flew among us, making us divide in the pairs we had been assigned to.

Lupin started casting protegos and hexes to everyone that got too close while I tried to take down as many enemies as possible.

A couple of yelled warnings were heard when both Moody and the real Harry had entered the ambush.

"WATCH OUT!" Tonks screamed, flying past me with Ron at her tail. "REMUS!" She made a signal to her husband "ESCORT!" I got the hint; we were supposed to clear Moody's and Y/n's way so it would confuse our attackers while Tonks and Shacklebolt made sure to get Harry out of there.

"ON MY LEFT!" Lupin shouted over the chaos, changing to my right for me to be by Y/n's side.

"WE'RE FUCKED!" She yelled dropping her flight to dodge an Avada Kedavra.

"WE'LL MANAGE!" I automatically dropped my flight with hers too, which was a bad decision, since we had gotten rid of the protection provided by Lupin, Mad-eye and Bill and Fleur.

Soon enough three death eaters came flying towards us.

"STUPEFY!" another Harry with the voice of Fred passed by us, closely followed by my dad.

"GO BACK UP!" Y/n was quicker than me following my father's instructions; when I did though, I realised the little formation we had going on was gone.

Suddenly, all we could hear were screams; it felt as if someone was missing but I blamed it on everyone flying around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Tonks almost crashed against me on her way down; Ron was nowhere near me, nor Lupin.

We were outnumbered, and instead of moving forward, we were stuck in the grey clouds, trying not to die.

It took me a hot second, a crash against a death eater and a couple of hexes to get to Lupin, and even when I did, it was a hard task to keep track of him.

I had just taken out someone in my way when I caught a glimpse of something my eyes refused to believe.

Snape.

Our bloody professor was trying to kill us.

I felt the need to laugh at the situation.

"GEORGE!" It was Y/n's voice snapping me out of it, although her actions shocked me even more.

Y/n casted a spell on me, pushing my broomstick to the left and consequently making me crash against Lupin and lose balance.

Then something happened, something my mind didn't quite process.

At first it felt like a slap, but the pain stung my side as if someone had sliced me with a blade.

I didn't hear my own cry, nor Lupin's desperate 'help'; I didn't feel his hands struggling to take a firm hold of me, nor my own shakily reaching to my side, searching for an injury I didn't want to find.

A second after that, everything was black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

As soon as my father and I apparated in the fields of our home, I ran into the house. For some unexplainable reason, it felt as if something wasn't right.

A couple of steps into the house were enough for that 'something' to strike me. George had been laid on the settee, barely conscious; blood was covering the side of his face, neck and left shoulder, making his hair and clothes stick to his skin.

I was left speechless at the sight, my eyes welling up while I dragged my feet towards my twin.

"Mad-Eye is dead." Bill's words, despite sounding far away, made the gears in my head turn.

Lupin was quicker than me, though, "I told you we couldn't trust a Lestrange!"

"Remus! we don't know—" Tonks tried to calm him down, just to be cut off by Bill.

"Mad-Eye and Lestrange traveled between us and" he gestured at our wounded brother, "Remus and George." His jaw twitching let me know that he was desperately trying to stay calm. "Mad-Eye is dead and my brother just lost an ear, who is it if not bloody Lestrange, Dora?"

"Bill..." Fleur held onto her fiance's arm in an attempt to ground him.

"Did you see her disapparating?" Tonks's point was logical and hopeful.

George would have sided with her.

My eyes fixed on my wounded twin again. He was as pale as a corpse now, and the absence of his ear was way more noticeable now that my mother had begun to remove the blood.

George would have sided with Tonks because he wanted to trust Y/n, and he couldn't even speak because of that same reason.

Since everyone was arguing, they missed the flash of someone apparating near the front door.

I didn't.

Before I knew it, I was running outside with my wand in hand, Lupin and Bill following me instantly when they realised what I had just seen.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Y/n's wand flew to my hand even before I could properly see her.

My rushed march came to a halt when I was a couple of feet away from her, making Bill bump into me; she was as pale as George, maybe more.

She took a seemingly calm, deep breath before attempting to walk.

Luckily, I saw the pools of blood on her shirt and stepped to reach her before she could touch the ground.

"Oh my..." Lupin covered his mouth with both his hands and Bill stood frozen at the sight of the girl in my arms. "MOLLY!!" my old professor yelled at the top of his lungs, going as livid as me.

We shouldn't talk on impulse, I told myself, rushing into the kitchen with Y/n in my arms. A series of gasps and regretful whispers broke the silence while I laid her on the dining table.

"Y/n?" George's trembling voice was heartbreaking, and, as my dad forced him to stay on the couch, I prayed the girl in my arms would survive.

"Oh Lord..." My mother muttered, examining her. It wasn't only her shirt stained with blood; her left leg and arm were too. "Oh dear..."

"She took the blow." Lupin ran his hands through his hair, understandably stressed. After a couple of seconds, her turned to my dad and commanded, "Get him up. Quick— go get him up." His eyes stared right into my soul and I dreaded the worst, but still obeyed and helped my dad drag George to the dining table.

I heard Lupin telling Bill something about Sectumsempra, and my heart sunk.

She took the blow.

"No..." George's murmur was close to a cry, but it was enough for Y/n's eyes to snap open.

"George." tears were effortlessly streaming down her cheeks at the sight of him. "You're... A-alive..."

"Please stay" My brother fell on his knees, reaching for Y/n's bloody hand with his own. We all looked away to give them some kind of intimacy, except from my mother, who was still trying to fix the poor girl.

I heard them both whispering sweet nothings with shattered voices until only one of them died out. I looked over to Tonks, whose eyes were gleaming with tears, and then to Lupin.

I couldn't bring myself to look at George.

After a moment of intense sobbing, my dad managed to pull my twin away from the corpse, and we carried him back to the settee.

I stayed with him the night, holding his hand and assuring him it was not his fault, but I knew my words would have little effect on his state; after all, he had been in love with Y/n for years.

All those years he had spent trying to convince all of us that Y/n was a good person, that we should give her a chance; all those years begging our mother to bring her over because she wanted to see our home.

Now her body was lying on our kitchen and I knew none of us would forgive ourselves for misjudging her.

READER'S P. O. V.

"Nervous?" A tall, redheaded kid appeared besides me; I supposed he didn't know my name by the warmth and curiosity with which his eyes stared at me.

"Aren't we all?" I replied with an anxious laugh.

He seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Fair point, though I'll probably go into Gryffindor." He assured me with a proud smile, causing my head to cast down. "What is it?"

"Oh nothing," I shrugged, aware I would not be able to befriend that sweet boy with warm eyes. "I think I'll be sorted into Slytherin."

"Nonsense!" His intentions had been obviously to reassure me, but when he realised his response only made it worse, he added. "It'd be wicked to have a Slytherin friend, though." My eyes widened at his words; did he just— "I'm George, by the way."

"I'm Y/n."

"That's a very pretty name." Professor Mcgonagall led us into the Great Hall, and before I knew what was happening, George's hand was holding mine. "It'll be fine."

The lighting of the Castle changed once the Great Hall's doors opened; a bright, white light seemed to be coming out of it.

"Wait!" My hand gripped George's before he could leave my side. "Can you hold my hand? I-I'm scared." My voice no longer sounded like a 11 year old.

For some reason I didn't comprehend, my eyes were watery, making the view in front of me blurry.

"Don't be scared, darling." When I turned to George, I didn't see a kid; it was him, in the expensive suit I had seen him mere hours ago. "I'm here."

I just nodded and, swallowing my fear, took a step ahead, and then another one, and another, until I reached the Great Hall.

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Summary: Molly knows about the reader’s relatives and she’s not so sure to put her trust in a girl that had just betrayed her own family

Word count: 1.9K

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Hi! i’m so happy that you guys liked this thing! thank you so much for your support and, again, if you want to keep reading this let me know. Same note as ever, english not my mother language, so tell me if something’s is wrong.

Chapter 2: Not your family

The next morning turned out to be quieter than you imagined.

You slowly got out of bed and looked at everything around you noticing how quaint Bill's old room was. The ceiling was lined with grainy wallpaper with stacks of photographs of Quidditch players hanging from the reeds that moved from side to side, simulating the playing field; the right side of the room had a huge hole behind the small stool that tried to hide it, and from that hole a small garden gnome was sleeping peacefully with a small piece of cloth on top of his head. You stood up, walking towards the huge window that gave you a beautiful view of the Weasley's garden that at that moment was covered by a thin layer of drizzle that had fallen during the night.

Molly's fruit trees gleamed under the faint rays of the sun and you saw how a doxy from between the leaves poisoned Mrs. Weasley's apples, causing them to fall from the tree branches in a thick black mass with a foul smell coming out of it. You shook your head, excited to witness a very different way to wake up.

Even though several minutes have passed since you woke up, the house continued to remain in a strange silence that made you think that the family had decided to leave the burrow with the intention of buying more supplies or something like that. You knew that Bill wasn’t at home precisely for his obligations within the Order, so you didn’t worry about looking for him around the room, so you decided that a better option was going down to the dining room and know what was happening.

As you went down the spiral staircase, you cursed in a whisper when you forgot to put on your slippers before leaving the bedroom cause the floor was so cold that you slipped a couple of times. Back in the days, when you were still welcome in your parents' house, you had many servants who did all the things for you - putting on your shoes as soon as you woke up was one of those things - but now that your life had changed so much, you assumed that you would have to adapt and start taking care of your own needs.

Your curious eyes roamed the walls covered in family photos that caused a big warmth in your chest. In each of those photographs, all of Molly's children appeared along with their father, smiling for the camera and sending effusive greetings. A pic was hanging at the fireplace were Molly and Arthur were carrying a small white bundle crying his lungs out. You assumed it was Bill as his parents seemed too young back then and even as a small baby, you could recognize those tantrum features anywhere.

A giggle escaped your lips when you noticed a funny sequence from that same photo in which, even with Bill crying in his mother's arms, his father tried to carry him for a moment to calm him down, however the baby's cries didn’t stop. The baby was so annoyed that he ended throwing up  the milk ration that he must have had before the photo session on his father's neat shirt.

You laughed because you knew that William's impertinence was something he had carried with him for several years now.

"Bill hates those photos." You jumped in your place scared to see Molly standing behind you. Your cheeks turned red “He says that it’s embarassing but i think that’s nonsense. He was an adorable baby”

"he was," you answered, looking anywhere but into Molly's shrewd eyes. "but I guess displaying them in the fireplace isn’t the right thing to do."

“Is it not?

"No, they should be at the front door where everyone can see them”

Molly giggled as you watched the sequence of photos over and over again. A silence settled between you, but surprisingly it was not an awkward silence, but one that was allowing you to create a bond that neither of you expected. Mrs. Weaslsey brought up a rag, wiping it around the corners of the photo from the dust.

"Arthur and I had to save up for months to take those pictures," she mentioned wistfully, "we just had Bill and it seemed like a good idea to welcome him into our family with a gesture like that. Arthur was new in the ministry and wasn't earning too much, but we had that quirk and decided we could afford to skip certain things to pay for the pictures. It cost us ten galleons and it still took us four months to gather them”

“Oh” You didn't know what to say, but you just kept looking at the photograph feeling a bit uncomfortable. You never had those problems at home because your family was insanelly rich thanks to the inheritance in life that your grandfather Tim had left to his son and later to his grandchildren. Even the descendants of your grandfather's servants came to work in your house, reason enough for you and your siblings to grow up with no sense of responsibility other than your own wishes. Molly sighed remembering those times when life seemed to be easier.

"So when Bill asked me to remove it from the fireplace, I refused. He doesn't know how hard it was to raise that money, but I think he has nothing to be ashamed of, he was too adorable!

"I don't doubt it for a second, Mrs. Weasley."

"You can call me Molly," she said, walking back to the kitchen where you continued watching the way the pans moved back and forth preparing breakfast. You were not very good at cooking - in fact, you had never cooked before- however, that didn’t stop you from offering your help. So you took a pan, placed it on the stove, and decided that you would find a way to make a good mountain of strawberry-filled pancakes just like your dear nanny did. Molly observed you carefully. "I think that now that you are living with us it is appropriate to have a more cordial treatment.My son told me a lot about you”

“Just the good things, i hope”

“Kind of” You stopped mixing ingredients to look at her carefully” He told us a bunch of marvelous things about you and how you two met. Actually, what worries me the most is what he didn’t tell us”

And there was the recrimination you were waiting for. You were aware that it had to arrive sooner or later, however, you would have been grateful that it did it when Bill were by your side to give you the opportunity to defend yourself properly. You cleared your throat uncomfortably, knowing that what Molly needed to hear from your own lips was which family you came from. You continued your task with the pancakes, turning out as bad as you expected.

"I'm sorry it turned out this way, Mrs. Weasley."

"Molly," he corrected.

"Molly" you smiled slowly "But believe me when I tell you that it was me who asked William not to mention anything about my last name or where I come from. I know that in this case, with the war above our heads, it is necessary to be certain of the people who enter your family and I apologize for that, it's just ... Bill is very important to me” Molly's eyes narrowed “Since we met ... I have found a home in him and well, all that feels when someone is in love. "Mrs. Weasley shook her head, understanding the feeling." I have experienced the rejection before. When people know that Tom Riddle is my family ... they run away in fear, curse my family and even walk away from us, as if sharing a blood bond makes us as evil as he is.

“And it’s not like that?” Molly asked with a hand on her neck. She didn’t want to be like the others and judge you without knowing the full story, just as she had promised Bill the night before that she would, but it was so difficult not to remember the death of his brothers by Voldemort’s hands and to pretend nothing had happened in the past. You sighed because the eggs you cracked on the bowl got mixed with their own shell “ I've heard of the Grants before, they're all Death Eaters, including your siblings!”

“It is difficult to have to choose a side  when you don’t have your own convictions”

"And you have it?"

You looked at Molly in pain. Of course you expected those reactions from Bill's mother, she was within her right to be upset that her oldest son never told her that he was in a relationship with a girl who seemed to have the most fucking powerful and evil wizard in the world as a great-uncle. No, Molly wasn't mad, she was deadly angry, she felt like she was bursting!

Her hands became fists and without knowing how, you found yourself between the wall and Molly's big arms from one second to the other. The pancake batter was forgotten, as was the woman's promise to treat her son's girlfriend in a good way.

"How is it possible ..." Molly questioned in an agitated voice, pressing your arms against the wall, "... that a single deer leaves the nature of its own herd?" How can you ensure that one rotten apple even in a gold container doesn’t rot the others?”Your breath caught at the questions of the woman in front of you. Once again, you were aware that your presence wouldn’t be good news to them, but at least you hoped they understood your motives before judging you “Explain to me, (Y/ N) Grant, when have you seen a pig away from his equals?”

Your words caught in your throat at Molly's fierce question. Bill had talked a lot about the temper of his mother. Even if she could be really grumpy at times, she was in general a very sweet, pleasant and maternal woman with everyone; however, you didn’t fit into that generality because it seemed that the woman was determined to kill you with her own hands.

"If my presence bothers you so much, then you shouldn't have let Bill and I to stay here."

“He's my son! All I want for him is to be happy, and that's why I don't understand what he managed to see in you”

"Maybe the same thing you saw in your husband." Molly's lips twitched in anger, but you didn't stop. You hoped that she would at least understand what your words meant, because that would make it easier for both of you to try at least get along better, even if Molly seemed not to want to do it under any circumstances. How is it that this haughty little girl dared to compare herself with her dear and wonderful husband? "I'm sorry, but I don't think this conversation is going to take us anywhere."

"If someone betrays his own family ..." Molly stopped you before you walked out the front door. The others got down the stairs, seeing the scandal formed in the kitchen “The rest of us can't expect too much, can we?

Your eyes blured.

[vole-mon-amour]

6x20.

First of all, this is SO awkward. Imagine sitting with your friend/boss and talking about losing your close friend but not because you want to, but because it's regulations and you have to. "I asked her to do it." Oh, Aaron. :( The insane responsibility that lays on his shoulders.

Honestly, idk about Derek, but I'd rather talk to some stranger. Aaron is sitting there more like his boss than his friend, and I, personally, would feel trapped. This is way too official, and if I were Derek and wanted to talk to Aaron, I'd do it in a different way.

Not to mention that everybody deals with grief differently, and this can be damaging. But speaking ahead, between Strauss and Aaron, I'd choose Aaron, too.

Case: happens. These two: on it. Together.

Dream team.

Random thought: Maybe they're checking out the crime scene first because they both have the most experience, out of the entire team? So then they can present the case to the team, including all important details, & understand what to look for next.

That is exactly what she did. Good job, you two. (Sometimes I think they're having way too much fun with this by just vibing.)

Spencer's voice shaking & Aaron not knowing what to say. Brb, gonna jump off a bridge first.

I gotta say, while at the beginning I enjoyed this show giving us more of cases than personal information on the characters, now I am absolutely craving personal affairs. Any piece of information canon can give me, I'll take and write down. I am getting through the cases just to get more on the characters.

It's been 14.5 months since my parents died, and only two days ago it randomly got me so much that I was choking on my tears. This scene is... a nice reminder. Often it's portrayed that you're supposed to 'move on' in 6 months max. Just like Aaron said, it's been a tough year, we'll get through this.

I love this show.

Aaron always seeing best in people, even when people don't deserve it. Maybe not this particular case, but it's true for him. Don't mind me if I'm gonna say it once again: he is so good. :(

I won't screenshot this, but I loved how Aaron went into the cafe, "I know you don't want to scare Sam, so they're gonna leave now. Bill, will you show them out please? Go." All of that without a bulletproof vest while a woman pulls a revolver at him. He's so fucking good at his job. No wonder he's good at politics, too.

Aaron talking to her with tears in his eyes, but actually talking to his team that tried their absolute best to save Emily (and also him, Jack, and Haley). "It's the day they failed." Oh the burden on their shoulders, but especially on Aaron's. ;____; Why are they making me cry when Emily isn't dead? "They'll move on, but they won't forget." That should be called 'moving forward'.

The team: refuses to talk to him (and for a good reason tbh). Aaron: Ok, I'm gonna do this another way!

"He was taken from you & that's not fair."

Who from the writing team decided that it's ok to go with this? To put this team through so much pain? I just wanna talk. Don't tell me there wasn't another way to hand on to Emily and wait until she comes back.

What's worse that Hotch HAS to keep going. He drags them on his back & still manages to keep himself together, without all the broken pieces of him falling apart (bc otherwise the team goes into Strauss' hands & Aaron can afford that since she'll make the situation even worse).

"We come in here & we talk to you. Where do you go? Where are you in all of this?" "The same place as you. Wishing she was here."

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME. Give him talk to Dave, you cowards! He deserves some time to grieve!

I'm still wondering though, does he know? What did they talk with JJ after Emily's surgery? If they don't explore this later, it's gonna be such a wasted potential.

[sapphicwhxre]

back to you

♥︎ pairing: luna lovegood x fem!houseneutral!reader

♥︎ summary: hunting horcruxes takes so much from you and the others. but you always have luna to come back to.

♥︎ requested: yes | no

♥︎ warnings: almost dying, mentions of umbridge, creepy snatchers, hermione's torture, arguing, crying

♥︎ a/n: i'm not sure i like how this turned out :/ anyways ─ look, it's a luna gif that didn't make it into my gifset <3 and side-note, this is based off movie events since my last rewatch was more recent than my last re-read.

life-threatening, the feeling that was at this point all too familiar.

there was the wedding, bill and fleur's. death eaters attacked and you couldn't get to luna before hermione grabbed your hand, apparating into a muggle city for safety. in the heat of the moment, you'd cursed her, screaming at her for leaving your girlfriend behind.

not to mention how you'd gotten there, polyjuice hiding your identity and protecting harry's, racing through the sky and evading death eaters. you weren't entirely sure just how you escaped the killing curses shot at you, but you had, just barely.

then there was the attack in the diner, where your heart pounded so hard as you dodged sudden spells that you barely heard your friends’ screams for you to take cover. your assailants were obliviated, wiped of any memory that could implicate the four of you. grimmauld place was safe, for now, but there were still a bloody lot of scares and a bloody lot of nights where you barely slept.

coming face to face with umbridge again at the ministry, even in another poly-juice disguise, brought back the worst of your hogwarts years. the sheer terror of running until you could apparate was thrilling in the very worst way possible. the blood that spilled from ron's splinched arms paired with hermione's cries of distress were too much, you ran off harshly biting down sobs and got started on protection spells.

nasty fights amplified all of your pettiest grievances when you took turns wearing the locket. harry's built up anger lashed out, ron's jealousy turned him bitter, and your aching for luna and fear that she wasn't even alive anymore had you blaming the people who'd loved you through it all.

luckily, hermione got you and harry out of it, but ron stormed off after a heated exchange of poisonous words. he left and your stomach wrenched for days, becoming weeks.

nagini, that bloody snake. tricked the three of you who were left and you almost paid with your lives for it. narrowly escaping, but yet more stress and tension came ─ ron hadn't been seen or heard from and hermione had broken harry's wand in the fight for your safety. you all went to sleep drained that night. except for harry, of course, who stayed up and miraculously found the sword of gryffindor. he almost died for it, but ron returned and things were better. somewhat.

and there was today, when you'd followed a lead from harry's intuition and hermione's reading. the four of you made your way to xenophilius lovegood's home for answers. the excitement of seeing luna again thrilled you, gave you the hope you'd desperately needed as of late. but, of course, danger followed and that's not how the day went.

mr. lovegood revealed your greatest fear and everything stopped. “what the hell do you mean luna’s been taken?”

guilt and sympathy filled his eyes when he looked into yours and he didn't need to tell you that he was sorry as he summoned the death-eaters that would come to take harry. “stop!” you yelled, fighting to get out of harry's grasp. “stop it, they have luna!”

you went shrieking, screams not even audible amidst all the chaos. the four of you were together and in the blink of an eye, were now in the woods. “no!”

“y/n, calm down!” hermione grabbed your shaking hands and forced you to look at her, though your line of sight trembled since you were falling to your knees with sobs. “you wouldn't have done her any good dead, you know that. we’re going to save her, i swear it, but we can't do that if we let our emotions take over.”

you understood but that didn't lessen the pain. head falling between your legs, you didn't have the energy to shove off whoever's hand was on your shoulder.

“what good is saving the world if she's not in it?”

you managed, so quietly that you'd be surprised if any of your friends heard you. they must have, gauging by the deafening silence that followed. there was no answer, just the shuffling of feet and the sudden comfort of your friends holding you. they didn't judge your soft turned raw cries, instead showing you the love merlin knew you needed right now.

next came the snatchers. looking for any way to make their bank. after putting up a hell of a fight, it didn't matter because the snatchers, much too interested in young women, took you away. to malfoy manor.

“i don't know,” draco snapped when asked to identify you. you could tell though, it wasn't out of kindness, but out of fear. ron and harry screamed to take your place when bellatrix lestrange wanted to be alone with you and hermione, girl to girl.

“leave her alone!” you cried, being held back by narcissa malfoy. hermione was taken and you screwed your eyes shut, feeling hot tears escape into your sobbing mouth. every scream of hers was ear piercing and you hated every second of it. “please!”

“quiet, girl!” bellatrix spat at you, momentarily stopping her torture on hermione. in the blink of an eye, your friends and dobby were now with you, spouting spells of defense.

disarming and cries became background noise to you when you spotted luna. you met her blue eyes and ran right through shot spells, stopping only when you got to her. no words were needed, your hands cupped her dirtied face and you kissed her. your end was desperate, emotional, but luna's radiated gentle comfort. there was a crash and a sacrifice, “y/n, we've got to go!”

luna's hand intertwined with yours as you rushed to hermione's side. mumbles of assurance met her from all of you and her saddened gaze rose to you and luna. she smiled, softly. her eyes told you it was okay. go. she was well taken care of. returning her smile, promising to check on her later, you walked just a few feet away with luna. “i was so worried,” you breathed. “i was so scared that i'd lose you.”

“you won't lose me, y/n,” luna reassured you. her usually soft but now roughed fingertips brushed your skin, full of love. “but you know you can't stop now, what you've been doing with harry and the others.”

tears stung your eyes, realising she wanted you to let her go again.

“i don't want to leave you.” you answered stubbornly, the same tears that stung now falling down your cheeks. “i can't, luna, i love you.”

“i love you too y/n, so much,” she sighed sympathetically. it hurt her as much as it hurt you, maybe even more. “but we'll come back to each other in the end, won't we?”

of course, was your first thought. one day, you'd be married. this would all be over and you'd spend every day by her side. that made it worth it, even if you'd have to leave for now. cherishing the limited time you had together right now, you squeezed her hand tightly.

“i'll always come back to you, luna.”

and that was a promise.

•──♥︎

[seacottons]

reaper ; — k.hj x reader

pairing: hongjoong x reader, platonic wooyoung x reader

wc: 5k

notes: i guess this is horror? pft. idk. mild violence. set in the late 80s? early 90s? technology isn't prevalent here so- yeah. probably needs to be proofread but i'm too sleepy as of now. maybe tomorrow. also, happy hongjoong day 🤍

synopsis: after an accident leaves three of your friends dead and one in a coma, you and wooyoung struggle with living expenses and piling medical bills. in the midst of it all, you’re stalked by strangers who resemble your deceased friends.

"Bad day at the tavern, Woo?" You asked, arms wrapping around the black-haired man who stood over the stovetop. A gentle fire simmered the stew he was cooking, a thin sheen of oil and spices pooling on the surface. He nodded with a grim frown and tight jaw, shoulders tense as he stirred a ladle into the pot.

"Got in a fight with some asshole who thought he didn't have to pay for shit," he grumbled back. You frowned at the sight of a bruise on his jaw, and he caught your gaze before scoffing incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that. This is nothing," he quipped hastily, voice thin with resignation.

"I think I have some leftover ointment for that," you sighed, turning away to fetch the item. After dinner, the two of you sat in silence as you tended to his bruises and cuts, your brows furrowing into a glare as you wrapped his finger with scraps of linen you managed to find," You should be more careful with people like that."

"We need the money," he retorted gently, "Mr. Lee would've taken it out of my paycheck if I had let the guy go without paying."

"At the expense of you getting hurt?" He ignored the glare you sent his way.

"We need every silver coin and more right now, y/n," he exhaled softly, leaning back against the old headboard of your bed, "Yeosang's medical bills aren't getting cheaper, and we promised the landlord we'll pay her this month." He groaned, reaching up to massage his temple with a tight frown, "And I can't keep making you work two shifts every day. I see the toll it's having on you."

"I told you I'm fine," you gave him a hard stare, defensively crossing your arms above your chest, "We both work overtime, so it won't be fair of me to just throw all the responsibility on you."

He gave you a tired smile, eyes fluttering shut as he hummed back a reply. Bringing you into his arms, he placed a gentle kiss onto your temple, before cradling your head against his chest while laying down, "I'll always be grateful to still have you with me."

Wooyoung sleeping in your bed alongside you became a silent agreement of some sort months ago when he couldn't bear to sleep alone in the other room he and Yeosang shared. Since then, the two of you found comfort in each other's arms, so much so that it became difficult to sleep without the warmth of his arms wrapped securely around your frame every night.

You sat in a comfortable silence, eyes closed as you relaxed back in your seat while holding Yeosang's delicate hand. The occasional beep of the IV machine and other monitors filled the air of the small room. You peek one eye open to look at Wooyoung, his back turned to you as he gazes out of the window. Neither of you speak for a while.

"You really think the doctor's words are guaranteed? That he'll wake up soon?"

You watched from your spot as Wooyoung leaned over the blonde-haired male, his hands brushing the hair away from his closed eyes. He appeared to be in a very deep and peaceful slumber.

"Yeah. I'm sure–.. I know he will. Things will get better for all of us," he drawled out tiredly, a soft smile finding itself onto his visage as he turned to gaze at your hand grasping Yeosang's limp one, eyes puffy from his crying session last night, "I know it."

An hour later, a nurse peeks her head in to politely state that you two have exceeded your visiting time. The two of you bid your friend farewell and left the hospital.

"I'm actually going to run by the cemetery real quick before my shift starts," you explained while walking down the road with the other by your side, half frozen autumn leaves crunching beneath your boots.

Wooyoung pulled you into a tight hug, hand reaching up to tussle your locks, "Alright, please be careful. I'll see you later, alright?," he readjusted the scarf around your neck with his gloved hands, "We'll have fried fish tonight, your favorite. Don't overwork yourself at work again!"

Tears nearly welled in your eyes, knowing fully well behind his cheerful demeanor hid a scared and tired being. The unspeakable pain behind his eyes killed you on the inside. He overworked himself both physically and mentally, and you can only wish you can rid some of the burden off of his shoulders.

You were just as hurt by the circumstances that the both of you were in, but watching his mental health erode with each day was A lump formed in your throat, and instead of replying, you merely flashed him a smile, not trusting your voice.

You pressed a quick peck to his cheek only to laugh as he flinched away from your freezing lips, your laughter escaping as puffs of white in the frigid air. You bid him farewell and waved back as the two of you separated.

The low mist enshrouding the cemetery did very little to bring warmth in the early hours of the morning. Your hands absentmindedly brushed along the dew covered grass as your eyes fixated onto the inscription on one of the three tombstones.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

"It's your birthday next month, Joong," you muse to the grave in front of you, "I'll make sure to spend the day here with you and the others when the time comes."

You adjusted your position on the grass, the gentle beams of sunlight sparkling in the beads of dew around you. Sitting cross legged, you reminisced the times you spent with the male and the other two friends that shared his fate.

"Wait— how come you get to be the flower? You should be the butterfly instead," you whined whilst poking his cheek.

With a playful quirk of his brow, he reached up to lightly flick your forehead before pulling you closer for a gentle kiss, "You're the butterfly, because you always bug me, baby."

You smiled to yourself at the memory, reaching down to admire the various flowers that have finally bloomed on Hongjoong's grave. Similar blossoms and flowering vines were planted and grown onto the other two graves to the right.

"I miss you so much."

You startled at the sight of a small butterfly fluttering over your head, only to smile once it landed on the purple blossom. You stilled your frame in fear of scaring it off, and watched as it flapped its blue wings subtly.

A small lizard peeked through the gaps of leaves, sharply and swiftly clamping its mouth onto the butterfly. It struggled to keep the bug in its mouth, its head shaking rapidly as the insect wriggled in its hold. Moments later, the bug stilled and the lizard scampered off with its prey.

You stood up, shoulders slumping as you gave the three graves a smile and a wave, "See you guys tomorrow. I love you."

You tightened the sweater around your frame as you made yourself out the gates of the cemetery, sighing in annoyance at the lingering and dense fog. It was difficult to even make out the next tree as you made your way back to town. You faintly hear the sound of a crow's caw in the distance and peer down onto the ground as you feel a tremor beneath your feet. Your head snapped up in time to have a large vehicle's headlights reflect in your wide eyes.

You somehow couldn't quite grasp what day it was, or even what happened at work earlier. Your head spun as if you had just awoken from a drunken stupor.

The sun had set and the moonlight washed the town with a silvery blue hue. Flames flickered within the numerous lampposts and pebbles crunched beneath your feet as you walked through the familiar cobblestone path back home. The streets were deserted. Many buildings were left with shattered windows, small plants and moss growing in the most delicate fissures on their walls. Plastered advertisements and papers on the walls and lampposts looked withered and aged, drooping forward and swaying with the gentle breeze. It was quite an odd sight to see. The once boisterous town strangely felt like a ghost town.

You shrugged off the ominous feeling growing in the pit of your stomach as you trudged along back home.

Along the way, you crossed the hospital where Yeosang was kept. You peeked back to glance at the building, your eyes immediately catching sight of a figure who stood behind a third story window. Furrowing your brows, you turned around to continue walking, the sight of the stranger leaving a bitter feeling in your heart.

The male had the same patch of silver hair as—

Suddenly, your feet came to a halt and you turned back frantically, but the figure was gone. In its place, the blue curtain of Yeosang's room swayed gently with the wind.

Shaking your head, you continued your path whilst rubbing your tired eyes.

"I probably just had a long day," you explained to nobody.

In the distance, there crouched a dark figure, his hands caressing the top of a stray cat's head. You met eyes with the stranger moments later, and you paused in your tracks, your heart dropping down to the floor and leaping into your throat almost simultaneously.

"San?" the figure's lips stretched into a wide grin at your acknowledgement, before he stood up straight to face you. Your legs shook and threatened to give under the sudden weight of your body, "San? Is that really you?"

"Long time no see, y/n."

He silently nodded, arm extending to beckon you forward with a small smile. You took a small step forward, brows furrowing in confusion, "But this can't be you. You're dead."

"Your eyesight is still horrible, I see," he drawled out with a roll of his eyes. You stood inches away from him, eyes widening in disbelief. He sounded like and resembled your late friend with a terrifying accuracy. With a trembling hand you reached forward to cup his cheek, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"You're..," you trailed off, eyes briefly glancing to your right at the reflection of the store glass window. Your reflection grasped at nothing but thin air, and you quickly retracted your hand from his face, eyes wide, "You're not real, are you?"

In an instant, the bright smile vanished and his gaze hardened into a dark expression. He silently bore holes into your head as a gentle breeze swayed his ebony and silver locks over his eyes. You took two hesitant steps back, and a blur of black flew towards you at an inhumane pace, your back roughly slamming onto the cobblestones underneath you.

Your brain scrambled to process what had just happened, eyes widening as San gripped your two wrists above your head with one hand, the other reaching down to wrap his lithe fingers around the column of your neck to squeeze hard. You released a pained cry, face contorting into a harsh wince. The heel of his palm dug painfully in the middle of your clavicles.

With eyes wide as saucers, you frantically kicked at your heels, hitting his frame repeatedly in an attempt to escape his clutches. Your attempt was futile as he released a growl, eyes practically slits as he seethed down at you, his grip tightening at an unbelievable level.

You wheezed, mouth falling open as you choked out his name, before furiously and blindingly sending a stomp onto his crotch repeatedly, your other leg jutting high to kick at his shoulder. It loosened his grip just enough for you to wriggle away, knees buckling as you attempted to stand up, heels kicking at the floor as you scrambled up, desperately trying to create as much distance as possible.

His eyes spoke of unfathomable fury as he regained his composure, taking two big strides to reach you.

Hastily rising to your feet, you dove in an alleyway and into the dark, mind not even processing your whereabouts as you quickly attempted to flee.

Your mind was in shambles as you ducked past clothes lines and the multiple abandoned carts near one of the taverns by the tea shop you worked at.

Turning around another corner, you collided with a strong chest, and you stumbled back at the sight of San's dark eyes peering down at you with a miffed expression. You gasped, face draining of color and chest heaving as you stumbled back and away from him. His chest rose with heavy breathing, brows knitted together furiously as he scurried after you.

"Y/n, y/n," he tsked in amusement, voice chiming like he was singing a song, "Come back, I just want to talk!"

Minutes later, the sound of his heavy footsteps ceased, but you did not have the time or courage to look back to see if he was still following you. You scrambled through dark alleyways, turning around every other corner, heart beating frantically in your ears and weak legs threatening to give way under your weight.

Tears prickled your eyes, and a sob threatened to escape your throat as you practically threw yourself against the frame of your door, fingers frantically reaching down to pull out the key from your pouch. From the corner of your eye, you spotted San madly dashing out from an alleyway to reach you, his voice growling out your name.

"Why are you running away?" He mocked, brows quirking up, "I thought we were good friends?"

Your trembling hands scrambled to unlock your door, hastily clambering in and throwing your entire weight to close it shut. A heavy weight from the other side thudded against the wooden frame, and your hands shook whilst reaching up to slide the chain into place. A loud gasp left your lips as the door jerked open slightly, the thin chain straining under the weight that threatened to break it.

"I'm hurt, y/n," a laugh escaped the man from the other side as he lodged his foot in between to keep the door ajar, voice rising as he attempted to shove himself in once more, "Don't you miss me?"

"Leave me alone!"

A hand shot from the gap of the door to clamp around the chain, rattling it viciously, as his other arm bent at an awkward angle to coil his fingers around the side of your neck, "Come out, y/n. I just want to talk," he chimed.

A sudden surge of strength overtook your frame and you threw your weight forward, successfully ramming the door shut against his arms. You expected to hear a cry of pain, but a chime of laughter sent a chill down your spine. With furrowed brows, you repeated the action, slamming the door continuously onto his hands and fingers, the sounds of bones and tendons snapping making you cry out in anguish.

Your hands trembled as you quickly locked the door with the key, stumbling back onto the floor as the knob shook threateningly. The door and chain rattled under the heavy kicks the male delivered from the other side, The impact of his frame against the other side shaking the door slightly. You fell onto your bottom, wobbly knees finally giving in, hands clutching your gaping mouth, and tears silently streaming down your face. You can practically feel the smile in his words, "It's okay. You'll come out eventually."

The dark shadow of his figure disappeared moments later.

When you woke, you weren't exactly sure when or how you fell asleep. You couldn't quite grasp the memories of the night prior. Sitting up, you emit a disoriented groan before realizing you weren't in your bedroom, but rather in the waiting room in the hospital Yeosang resided in. Peering around in confusion, you took account of the night sky, brows furrowing as you scrambled to find the nearest clock. It was well past midnight and visitors weren't even allowed at this ungodly hour.

The room was vacant, and you couldn't make out any figures of the receptionists through the pebbled sliding-windows. Your hand grasped the doorknob of the entrance door, only for you to sigh in frustration after finding it locked. You turn to the other side of the room only to find the door to the main halls of the ICU left ajar ever so slightly.

You called for any doctor or nurse, but you were met with silence. After much contemplating, you decided to make your way through the long corridors of the hospital, your steps reverberating throughout the empty halls. Where are the attendants, and why is a place like the ICU empty?

If you were stuck in here, you might as well stay in your friend's room. The lights from the mounted sconces petered out against the wall and casted the hallway with a warm glow.

After much turning and walking, you reached the end of the hall, hand reaching for the doorknob when the hallway lights wavered for a second. You peered to the side in confusion, before entering the room, only to stop after a step.

The room was empty, the sheets on the bed untouched and perfectly made. A hiss of air from the corridor startled you, and just as you snapped your head back, the lightbulb above you flickered rapidly before it shattered along with the windows, showering your shocked form with glass shards.

The room was engulfed in darkness, save for the streaks of moonlight filtering past the curtains. You jostled up from where you fell from shock, legs feeling useless as you crawled back out of the room with trembling limbs. Not wanting to look back, you clutched the wall for support before hastily speeding through the endless turns of the hallway.

Corner after corner, panic settled through your system because these were definitely not the same hallway layouts you remembered and memorized like the back of your hand. They were endless and vacant, and you felt like a helpless little mouse in a vast maze. As you quickened your pace into a panicked dash, the windows and light sconces on the wall flickered and shattered with every step you took, and you hastily covered your head and face from the flying glass.

This isn't real, you thought. It can't be real.

"Y/n!"

You froze in your spot, breath caught in your throat as you clamped a hand over your mouth to swallow back a scream threatening to slip past your lips. Did you hear correctly, or was that part of your imagination?

"Y/n," the familiar voice spoke once more.

Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you daringly poked your head from the corner and into the other hallway. Blood pounded past your ears, and it took more than a second to realize there was a figure of a man at the end of the very long and dark corridor.

He took a step forward and the soft moonlight pouring from the window beside him illuminated his figure, and your breath faltered at the sight of the man's smiling face.

"Seonghwa?"

"What are you running away from, y/n?"

You couldn't properly form a reply at his remark, hands reaching up to rub at your tear pricked eyes. A sob bubbled its way up to escape your throat at the sight of your late friend who merely chuckled at your tears.

"Missed me that much, hm?" he mused, shoulders shaking with an amused chortle, "Why don't you come here and give me hug? You know I don't like seeing you cry."

You couldn't help it as a gnawing feeling of unrest settled in the pit of your stomach. A shudder traveled down your spine, goosebumps decorating your arms, and hair standing on the back of your neck. Your mind couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was that had you so disturbed, but your body displayed all the signs. His tone felt off, and you realize he's playing with you. Toying with you. A small distant voice in your head told you to get away.

A sudden thought found its ways into your mind.

Where was his shadow?

Sensing your hesitation, the friendly expression on his face soon dropped, making way for a stone-cold frown and unamused eyes.

"Y/n."

His cold voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you take a hesitant step back, words slipping out before you even processed them, "I know you're not real."

The feral look that overtakes his expression has you reeling back, and you took off running in the opposite direction. Glass crunches beneath your shoes as you dashed from corridor to corridor, lungs burning and muscles aching from the rush of adrenaline. He called for you repeatedly, and you didn't dare turn back to see how far he's caught up with you. With every turn, his voice grew louder and closer, before a flash of black sends you flying back onto the floor. Your body skids onto the ground, shards of glass pricking at your skin. With a rush of adrenaline fueling your system, you hardly wince as you scrambled back from the towering figure, glass piercing your skin in the process.

You feel an excruciating burst of pain in your foot, and before you had the opportunity to pull your leg back, he slams his foot down onto your ankle once more, grinding the joint roughly with his boot. A loud cry of pain escapes your throat and you to struggle wildly to escape his unrelenting grip.

You glance up and through your tears, you make out the gleam of a large piece of glass in Seonghwa's hands, his threatening, blown out pupils pinning you down like trapped prey. Turning the large shard in his hand to examine it, he hums sarcastically before peering down at you with a quirked brow, "You know, I'm offended." Kneeling down to your level, he traces your cheek with a glass, watching your skin split at the action and beads of blood oozing out from the scratch, "And here I thought we were such good, close friends."

Without missing a beat, your hands flew to grasp the shard, roughly ripping it into the soft tissue of his eye and slipping past his frame to stagger to the nearest broken window. You hear a groan from behind you as he doubles over in shock, blood overflowing from his ruptured eye and spilling down his scowling face. Pain surged with every step you took, but if this was your only option to escape, you think maybe the idea of couple of broken bones doesn't sound too bad.

Hastily, you stepped over the windowsill, your arms and legs catching on the jagged teeth of glass remaining, your clothes tearing in the process. You took a sharp inhale before curiously taking a look back at Seonghwa one last time. The sight of him lunging after you has you falling forward and out of the window. It felt as if gravity had slowed the pace of your fall, and you held eye contact with Seonghwa as your frame descended down from the third story floor. Darkness fogged your eyesight, his figure vanishing within the black abyss.

The impact hit you like a truck, and you sat up with a loud intake of breath on your warm bed. Your chest heaved heavily as you took in your surroundings. You suddenly realize you're in Wooyoung and Yeosang's shared room that hasn't been occupied in months. Your eyes fall onto your feet, and your brows furrow in confusion as a sudden thought invades your head.

You faintly remember your ankle being crushed, but it seemed to feel just fine now. When you attempted to recall why you thought it had been broken, it felt like your mind was searching for a forgotten and fragmented memory. After calming your breathing and thoughts, you sit up to go and find your friend.

You called Wooyoung's name repeatedly, but the silence you were met with indicated he wasn't home.

Peering into your room, you hoped to find him sleeping, however your eyes landed on the wall, the sight of messily painted words catching your attention almost immediately.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

Painted flowers and butterflies littered the wall, the excess ink dripping down into lines onto the wooden floorboards.

"Do you like it?"

You jumped at the voice behind you, swiftly turning around to meet the sight of a familiar head of blue hair. You stood there, mouth agape as you silently stared long and hard at the man that once held and loved you in his arms. A long silence followed suit, hanging in the air like the calm before a storm. A breeze hardly stirred from the open window and not a sound could be heard save for the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

The forbidding, subtle grin displayed on his features filled you with dread, and the mere sight of him gave your brain a debilitating shock. Your knees couldn't hold your weight any longer, and with buckling limbs, you were sent crashing down onto the floor, the look of disbelief and horror never leaving your expression.

You stared at him but it felt like you couldn't quite focus your gaze on him as he peered down at you in mock pity, a condescending smile playing on his lips. His dark gaze seared you as he crouched down to meet your eye level, hand reaching to cup your cheek as he leaned in to press numerous kisses onto your lips. The gesture was void of the warmth and care you remembered, and you sat still as he trailed fleeting kisses down your the column of your neck, his lips attaching fervently onto your clavicles.

"I missed you so much," you began, catching his attention. Pulling away from your irritated flesh, he quirked his brows at your words, hands brushing the hair out of your face as he let out a chuckle. His finely-chiseled face, illuminated by the oil lamps on the wall, broke into a fond expression. Pulling you close to his frame, he pressed your head against his chest, head dipping to kiss into your hair.

"Do you really?" Your brows furrowed slightly, eyes blinking away the tears as you wrapped your arms around his torso, head pressed against his chest. It's been too long without the feeling of your lover's arms around you. It's just been way too long for you, "If you miss me that much then-"

While nuzzling his chest, you come to realization he lacked a heartbeat, and with that thought striking your mind like lightning, you detached yourself from his form instantly. He eyed your trembling form without any sign of amusement.

"Don't look at me like that!" Cowering back against the wall, you broke into screams of despair, fingers pulling handfuls of your hair as you shook your head rapidly, "You're dead— you're not real!" you slapped the heels of your palms against your temple repeatedly, eyes scrunched shut, "Not real! Not real! This is all just my imagination!"

He released a chilling laugh that traveled down your spine and left your fingers and toes numbingly cold. A sudden gust of wind sent the crispy, autumn leaves scampering wildly into the window while also extinguishing the lamplights that illuminated the room, plunging it into darkness.

You only had a second to register his close proximity, your pupils dilating instantly, before a hand latched onto your throat, ramming your head back against the wall in the process. His vice-like, lithe fingers squeezed around your windpipe, successfully blocking your air flow as you squirmed in his relentless hold, lungs burning and diaphragm spasming.

"You'll join me so we can be together again, hm?"

The fist around your throat choked your response, and he tilted his head with a mocking smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

His hold only faltered ever so slightly to give you enough air to speak, "I don't want to die," your reply was a little more than a ghost of a breath.

"But, baby," his fingers coiled around your neck, pressing unforgivingly hard until your darkening vision littered with stars, "don't you realize you're already on the brink of death. Just give in, y/n. Don't keep fighting."

The silence of the atmosphere contributed to the solemnity in the air, and despite the clear blue skies and warm sun, there was a relentless chill in Wooyoung's heart. The black-haired male crouched down over the grave, gently placing a small bundle of roses onto the base of the tombstone.

"Happy birthday, Joong," he mused sadly, his puffy, tired eyes flickering over to the sides where the other tombstones lay.

"I'm so sorry for breaking my promise," he blinked rapidly to rid himself of the stinging tears threatening to spill, nose scrunching slightly as he sniffled, "I should've been there that day- shouldn't have let y/n come here alone- and.."

"You know nothing was your fault, Woo. Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control of."

A hand clutched his shoulder, and he peered with tear-filled eyes to give the blonde male a grateful smile, before turning back to the grave, "Yeosang's awake now though and- and the doctors said that y/n's case isn't as bad as his was, so we have hope."

"Y/n is a stubborn fighter," Yeosang offered the other a small smile, crouching down to rub his trembling friend's back, "Everything will be okay in due time."

"I hope so.. and I hope you'll forgive me, Hongjoong," Wooyoung murmured, watching two small butterflies flutter and chase each other around the blossoming flowers atop of Hongjoong's grave.