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#this is milestone in my gaming life
shatinn · 1 year
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Hogwarts legacy - moments with Ominis 4/?
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lith-myathar · 1 month
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#i joke about it and all but like. i cannot emphasize enough what an impact it had on me to be uhhhhhb#micro-institutionalized in the way that i was for the first 14 years if my life#and i am honestly going to count the time i soent in ''elementary'' school bc it wasn't a normal school. it was a charter school#that began as a parent organized alternative and swiftly devolved into an authoritarian nightmare#a bunch of people who were simply not ready to educate children let alone ''problem'' children#of which there were MANY because that school got all the kids who had been turned out of public school for behavioral issues#there were hardline rules about literally everything. normal childhood behavior was pathologized and punished and as a kid#you had no way to understand WHY#and so many of your peers were having problems because ofc those ''problem'' kids were typically severely traumatized#or were actively being abused#so even if it wasn't happening TO you you were being exposed to it in a hundred little ways every day#so i was confused and miserable all the time AND was struggling academically bc i had undiagnosed adhd#(or possibly just trauma?? i honestly neither know nor care which came first at this point)#so my mom pulled me and my brother out. him at 11 and me at 6 and said ''i'll just do it myself'' and#raised us in a way that wasn't religious but resembled evangelical or lds stuff#i couldn't watch commercial tv or listen to popular music bc my parents didn't want me exposed to what they considered inappropriate#and while i still had extracurriculars i was always the odd one out bc i had no exposure to pop culture or normal socialization#for my age group#it resulted in me always feeling alone and like i didn't belong. and since most of my social life was my parents and their friends#that was the perfect soup for adultification#i was fine with adults. put me with my peers and i was a mess#it made the transition to high school incredibly difficult but i DID make it#but that was only 4 years still in an institution. everything began to unravel once i tried to move into anything resembling ''real life''#and then my dad's suicide which was a major trauma in early adulthood which only made my mom's grip on us tighten#i did get to START life until 26. not really. and it's just been a game of catch up for the last 5 years#and im so *angry* at the unfairness of it all. at the time and experience and milestones that were taken from me. at how i blamed myself#for it for so many years and the problems i developed because of it all. dissociation and substance abuse and suicidality#the fear that still has a death grip on me#the courage required to just exist#it's *exhausting*
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longlivetv · 8 months
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Sunday scaries compounded by my brain starting to really comprehend that I am truly going to be alone on thanksgiving for the first time in my 30-something years on earth
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chloe12801 · 1 year
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The idea of GTA 6 releasing makes me have bittersweet feelings bc although I’m excited for a long awaited GTA, I have such a strong attachment to GTA V that moving on makes me sad
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angeltannis · 1 year
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So Blizzard announced that player levels are finally coming back after (much like the On Fire system) being inexplicably scrapped for the sequel…but get this… it won’t track data from Overwatch 1…. everybody’s gonna start at zero 🤣💀
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i think that I pissed off the anon lol
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calico-kiwi · 7 days
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i don’t know the official day i started using tumblr (my very first account has long since been lost to the sands of time after being overrun by cobwebs) but after digging through my emails i know i’ve been here since at least May 23rd of 2020 and though that’s not nearly as long as other people, it feels like an eternity.
Happy (late) four year tumblr anniversary to me, it truly has felt i’ve been here so much longer and i love how engrained this place is in my heart
unless the site is burned to the ground with nothing left i’m pretty sure i’ll never leave <3 (despite the fact there are still problems here)
#kiwi shares their thoughts#i don’t know why i’m so sentimental all of a sudden about this#but truly you have no idea (or maybe you do if you’ve been here since a young age and stayed) how big a part tumblr has played in my life#i didn’t get here because of covid but it coincidentally lined up with when the pandemic hit the US#so the timing of it kinda worked out really well#i’d discovered ✨ wattpad ✨ and the joys of fanfic a little before lockdown was declared#can’t be more than a month before that it feels#and subsequently found tumblr after having to go out foraging to scrounge for more daminette fics#i accidentally stumbled into maribat while on wattpad and joined tumblr when i found more fics for it on here#and from tumblr i discovered the joys of ao3 (bye wattpad)#funny thing but later down the line#i realized i’d used(?) tumblr way before creating an account#i dont remember when but previously id stumbled into both the scarlet lady comics and the “i love a dork” comics#as well as just being exposed to a lot of screenshots of various fandom related tumblr incorrect quotes through google images#and i used to be obsessed with different popular disney princess tumblr posts#i think i used to google “disney princes funny tumblr” or something like that to find them#and my friends in 4th or 5th grade exposed me to an artist on tumblr (not that any of us knew the tumblr part) who i actually follow now#we’d literally just google their user name with like “black cat” or “art” or something and then go to the image tab#that artists art has been my school account profile picture for YEARS now#i think at the time we didn’t realize it was one artist though#at least i didn’t#the username was so unique that i just thought it was an art style#anyways the reason i think maybe i’m being super sentimental is that my bday is coming up#(it’s on the 11th)#and it feels like the age i’m turning is a big milestone#maybe not a HUGE milestone#but it’s the age i would always put when games or websites would ask for my age and i would lie 🥺#oof big rant#i think i have a tag for that#kiwi’s tag tangents
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rubys-domain · 6 months
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i really have to motivate myself to finish the thelxie event fast or it's just going to end with no freminet on my alt account
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#it's not that i hated the event per se#i'm just really not in a genshin mood these days#i reached a milestone irl,but that doesn't mean i can afford to relax and play a game for hours on end#which is how i prefer to play this game. i want to sit somewhere comfy and comb through the world with the interactive map#for combat players that might sound like the biggest slog of all time#but i think it's a nice,chill way to play. the world was created to be enjoyed after all#unfortunately i'm very susceptible to falling into “waiting mode”#so anything that registers in my brain as “time-consuming” gets put on the metaphorical top shelf (out of reach)#and then i can't bring myself to do anything that doesn't feel like i could be done with in 5 minutes#even though i almost always end up doing the “5-minute tasks” for hours. like scrolling through tumblr or youtube shorts and shit#there's also other reasons but i don't like talking about those much#suffice it to say that i'm in a weird place in my life rn where i can *technically* relax but i still feel like i can't#i've also been sleeping so much. to the point where it feels like my waking hours are being sacrificed for too much sleep#i really am getting older huh. it doesn't feel that long ago when i was a kid and had the exact opposite problem#tbh my current problem saddens me way more. i don't want to sleep any more than absolutely necessary#because then it feels like i'm sleeping my life away. it's almost surprising how shitty that actually feels#i feel like taking a fucking nap right now even. it feels crazy that this would bring me to tears but it does#it feels like my life didn't get any less pathetic. just pathetic in a different way
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shatinn · 1 year
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Hogwarts Legacy 
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snapscube · 1 year
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so i don't know if this is a post i'm gonna keep up cause, like i said, i don't really like talking candidly about aspects of my personal identity often these days, and lord knows i especially hate talking about legal identity and all the dissonance that entails. but this week was a pretty big one for me and i can't shake the desire to share my enthusiasm for even just a fleeting moment.
my name has been a sticking point in my mind for a long time. i've adopted many different ones. first, middle, last, you name it. i've been searching most of my life for a moniker that represented my true self socially, and a surname to distance myself from someone in my life who hurt me very badly and never really learned how to stop.
obviously for a long time now I've been Penny Parker to 98% of people who know me, and for the past couple that number has been bumped up to a solid 99% with a few stragglers. it's a name that is so mundane and assumed at this point that tbh I've even come to resent certain aspects of it. which to me is actually beautiful. i find that mundanity, that nuance, extremely telling of how it encapsulates my life. it's a fully three-dimensional reflection, smudges and sparkles and everything in between.
of course, i only just moved out on my own 3 years ago. and unfortunately that had to be the starting point to make this social and personal progress i've been sitting on for half a decade at least now official, tangible, legal. i've been playing a game of catch-up i didn't sign up for, but it's one that does have a silver lining in that i feel more in resonance with who i am and who i want to be than i ever did before being granted this independence.
and as of this week, i have the pleasure of entering an era of my life where the dissonance between who i am in speech and who i am in contract is nonexistent. my name is Penny Olivia Parker. i'm the same as i've always been, but getting better every day at it. soon i'll even have a license to match!
sometimes more of an Olivia Parker in brief moments nowadays tbh but i haven't worked out the details yet. nothin you need to stress over, ill take care of it. the full set is just fine and legally recognized, which is all i've wanted for as long as i can remember.
this isn't the end of my journey, both excitingly and unfortunately haha, but this is yet another huge milestone for me and in certain respects it's one of the biggest i've managed. i'm so happy to still be here. if you're reading this, thank you for being here too.
also those of you who watched my direct reactions the other day might have a little more insight as to why i was so emotional that the day after a judge signed my legal name change a new game by the Sonic Mania devs was announced called "Penny's Big Breakaway" LOL, it was a lot to handle for me but i wasn't sure how much i wanted to say just yet.
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tieronecrush · 6 months
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secret santa
dbf!joel miller x f!reader
summary: your parents throw a christmas party every year, and this is your first time in the “adult” secret santa exchange. the last few times home, you’ve found joel, your dad’s friend, staring a bit too long, flicking away when he’s caught. for the game, of course, you get joel’s name. and you’re going to make sure it’s the best gift he’s ever received.
rating: E
wc: 5.6k
warnings: daddy kink, age gap (sorry folks but i did want to try my hand at dbf!joel lol i pictured him around 50, reader around mid-late 20s), alcohol consumption, mentions of food, distant relationship with parents, party, christmas, gift giving, secret santa game, bit of deception on reader's part just to get joel alone, lingerie, body worship, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v, restraints (using clothes/undergarments), daddy!joel, soft!dom joel, praise, a few instances of degradation, dirty talk (as always)
a/n: (images in moodboard do not convey what reader looks like, only the vibe! no descriptions of reader) my first dbf!joel…milestone moment lol <3 hope y’all enjoy my take on the dbf trope! and tysm to my babies for beta-ing @northernbluess and @kiwisbell love you both 😚
dividers by @saradika
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Twenty years. This same godforsaken party has been happening every December for the last twenty years of your life, full of overserved middle aged parents, and never has it been less enjoyable than since you’ve been an “adult”. An adult still treated as a child, chastised, fawned over, always told to follow the golden rule. No, not treat others as they wish to be treated. Your family’s golden rule was speak only when spoken to.
And your father was the enforcer. Always required you home for the party, even away, out of state for college, away for the semester studying abroad halfway across the world. You were flown home and called upon to do the heavy lifting — groceries, liquor runs, cleaning the house, decorating to make it all feel magically festive.
At times, it felt like Cinderella had nothing on you. At least she had a prince.
The only time that this party has ever been remotely improved was when Joel Miller moved into the neighborhood. He’d snuck in under your radar due to the fact that it happened the few months you were living abroad, but coming back for the party and Christmas break, you were quickly introduced to him by your father. His new “best friend”. One among many. Each serving a unique purpose to get your dad ahead.
Upon meeting Joel, you were drawn to him immediately. Skeptical over the fact he found company with your dad, but much to your surprise, he was different. Maybe lonely and looking for a friend; you’d found he was living alone, his adult daughter, Sarah, in her final years at the University of Chicago — a choice that was hers but Joel admittedly feared, you learned. He only encouraged her, regardless of the fact he was anxious about losing his kiddo.
Not the same sentiments your dad had when dropping you off to school in the farthest, cheapest corner of the country you could find. He was nearly jumping up and kicking his feet together in glee to get you out of the house.
Joel, though, Joel was kind hearted and patient. He was curious and caring, asking you about school, work, your life every time he saw you over the years. Warmth radiated from him despite his more shy demeanor. Comfortable. You felt so comfortable with him.
Which is what made the smallest of lingering glances or the slightest of smiles turned smirks that much more exhilarating.
Maybe you were being naive or projecting your burning desire for him onto every interaction, but as you stitched yourself tighter into Joel’s life over the years, you haven’t been able to help but notice him checking you out at times or slipping a subtle flirty comment into conversations between the two of you. You would give it right back, and that would usually pump the breaks, bringing things back to surface level.
There was one time this past summer, after a neighborhood barbecue that your parents left early from, that you and Joel really had a moment. It was loud, music drowning out the back and forth you were having to the point where you couldn’t quite make out every word, and Joel must have felt the same because he made sure you heard his next words clearly — “Do you want to go somewhere quieter?”
Agreeing immediately, he pressed his large hand into the midpoint of your back, guiding you out of the confines of the party and to the open air of the street. He led you to his place and around back, pulling two lounge chairs next to his pool closer to each other.
That night, thanks to the alcohol buzzing in your system, you confessed more about your home life and your feelings around it. Joel was surprised, given the picture-perfect image your father paints for everyone, but he was comforting as always. Even as far as offering you his spare room if you ever needed a break.
That’s when you knew you were done for. Never in your life had you wanted to just kiss someone that badly. Let alone all of the thoughts that came along with it.
Harboring this crush for your dad’s friend, fifty plus and a father himself, you attempted to keep things growing closer when you came back. Friendly, polite, reciprocating any amount of flirty banter he threw your way. Even initiating it yourself.
You were so incredibly into Joel Miller. And returning home this time, you decided it was high time you acted on those feelings.
The noise of the bustling party dies down enough for your dad to introduce the game, as if the attendees haven’t been participating for nearly as long as you’ve been alive. But your dad loves the attention on him, cracking jokes that make you roll your eyes while everyone else gives him a laugh. Always so focused on himself. How everyone else sees him. Image obsessed enough to forget to assign anyone as a Secret Santa to his own daughter but not forgetting to give her someone to gift to.
Granted, you weren’t that upset about who you’d drawn.
Watching from afar, you see Joel survey the empty space under the tree, only the deep cherry red skirt laid out on the hardwood. Nothing for him. Everyone opens their presents, laughter and excitement bubbling across the room as the point of the game begins. Partygoers start to guess their gifters, hoping to nail down their Secret Santa in one go. Conversations are struck up as people meet their pair, ‘thank you’s exchanged along with the gifts. Joel observes from his spot with a few of your neighbors, also friends with your dad, and the sight of him shifting his weight on his feet is enough to draw up the courage to approach him.
Crossing the room, flashes of him checking you out, lingering in conversations with you about work and your new apartment in the city, seeking you out each time you visit home flood your mind, reassuring your choices the closer you get to him. The closer you get to completely jumping into the deep end, the last few steps teetering you at the edge.
Slowing to a stop next to him, a finger of yours gingerly taps his strong shoulder a few times, pulling his attention away completely. Joel turns his body to face you, away from others to solely focus on you in front of him. The subtle sign of his attraction to you has your nerves tingling, clearing your throat when he speaks up in greeting.
“Hey there, sweetheart. Y’alright?” he asks, eyebrow raised. Always so goddamn sweet.
You sigh, a tinge dramatic but attempting to sell the dismay and toying with the flute glass in your hand. “Lame surprise, but I’m your Secret Santa and I stupidly left your gift upstairs. It’s a bit obnoxious to bring down so d’you mind coming up to open it and you can grab it at the end of the night?”
Joel agrees with a jolt of nervous excitement down his spine. Shuddering out the feeling subtly, he clears his throat and nods, awaiting your lead. He thinks he catches the slightest drag of your eyes up and down his body, lingering at the expanse of his shoulders and the sliver of his chest that is exposed from the two undone buttons of his red flannel.
When no one’s paying attention, you bring Joel upstairs into your old room that you’re staying in while you’re back in town for the holidays. He stands around a bit awkwardly, sticking out like a sore thumb with his broad shoulders stretching his red flannel, thick thighs straining deliciously against the perfectly worn material of his Levi’s. Stark against the frilly softness of your room, with its bright white furnishings, and feminine touches. He’s all man. Nothing like the guys your age who think they’re like him.
Joel glances about the room before he asks, “So, what was so difficult to get under the tree, sweetheart? You didn’t have to get me anything so major.”
“I wanted to. I mean, noticed you eyeing what I got you for a while so figured the least I could do was give it to you…” Joel’s face twists up in confusion, perplexed by the riddled clue before you’re standing in front of him, reaching to the side of your plaid skirt and dragging down the zipper. Joel stutters out nonsense at your actions, lifting his hands in surrender.
“Doll, I think—you don’t—” His mumblings die in his throat when you drop the material to your ankles, revealing red satin panties. When you turn around, a bow sits at the top of your ass, tying up the material to stay on your hips while elasticated bands run along the outline of your cheeks to connect to the crotch. Very little of your bum is covered, showing off the supple flesh to Joel. He’s rendered speechless, averting his gaze after a second too long of staring, the mumblings starting up again.
“S’not a good idea, shouldn’t be up here right now…” Joel looks around, looking over his shoulder toward the door. One of your hands reaches up to gingerly cup his chin, turning his flushed face to yours again. His pupils are blown wide, eyes darkened with desire. Your own gaze flicks down between the two of you, smirking at the bulge growing at the crotch of his jeans. So desperately trying to fight against what he really wants. Even when you’re serving it up in a pretty little package.
He makes no movement toward the door, which you take as a sign of letting go of at least some of his apprehension. Fingers grip the hem of your sweater, pulling it up and over your head, discarding it on your carpet along with your skirt.
Matching red satin material, the bra you’re wearing has a similar structure to your panties. Held up with straps and the usual clasps at the back, the front is a large gift bow, pulled tight when you tied it earlier this evening to push up the flesh of your breasts. One tug at the tail end of both the ribbons, the one at your chest and at your ass, would fully expose you to Joel. Something you’re desperate to propose to him.
“Aren’t you gonna unwrap your present, Joel?” Picking up each of his hands in yours, you guide one to your lower back and one to your chest, coaxing his fingers to wrap around the ends of the bows. “Or do you not like your gift? I thought you wanted this…”
“No, no, no. I like it. I really fucking like it, sweetheart, I just…Everybody’s downstairs and—”
“I can be quiet. I’m a good girl, Joel.”
That flips a switch in him, hearing those words from you. His eyes darken further, pink tongue poking out to wet his lips. A burning stare combs over you, head to toe, alighting flames in your gut that lick against your insides. Heat crawls across the back of your neck, pooling in your collarbone, and craving oozes between your ribs and between each of your vertebrae. Joel’s right hand lifts from his side, skating up the length of your left arm and leaving goosebumps rising in its wake. Fingertips ghost over the strap of your bra, down to the center of your collarbone, and sitting there. That lasts only a second before his long, thick fingers wrap around the base of your throat, raising his loose grip to settle underneath your jaw.
The silence is heavy, airy breaths the only sounds passed between the two of you. His hand at your neck coaxes your head to tip back, staring up at him looking down at you. A flicker to your lips. A low, curious hum. Arousal pools in between your thighs as you wait with bated breath for something, anything to happen.
“You’re dangerous, doll.” His whisper is coated in lust, his gaze greedy as it drinks you in once again.
“I’m a gift,” you correct sweetly, feigning innocence as a smirk grows on your face at his dark chuckle.
“A gift that keeps on giving?” he questions. His hand twists to allow his thumb to find your bottom lip, dragging across its glossy, cherry surface.
“I guess you’ll have to find out…” Your mouth stays open after speaking, tongue slipping out to lick the tip of Joel’s thumb. He presses his finger further, pushing between your lips as you welcome it, sucking gently. Joel sighs, shoulders relaxing while his eyes flash with need.
“Christ…” he hisses under his breath, shaking his head subtly before clearing his throat. Speaking sternly, unwavering, he says, “Can I unwrap my present, babydoll?”
His thumb leaves your mouth with a quiet pop, hand finding its place again at the slack of the bow at your chest, other arm wrapping around to find the bow at your ass. A gentle tug moves the satiny smooth material a few centimeters, not enough to pull it fully undone.
“All yours, Joel. Picked out ‘specially for you.” Joel smirks at your candied reply, eager to give him exactly what he’s been wishing for. What you’ve caught him staring at the last few times you’ve come back home. What you have been wanting for just as long, if not longer.
“Such a sweet girl. Beautiful girl.”
The words send a tingle down your spine, stoking the flames inside of you. Your eyes stay trained on Joel’s face while his fingers draw the bow at your chest undone, the lengths of material hanging at your sides and exposing your breasts. He licks his lips at the sight of your pebbled nipples, rolling out a stifled groan from his chest.
“Fuck, baby…S’pretty.”
Joel’s hands fan across your lower back, holding your hips against his, pressing his bulge into your covered mound. His broad frame folds forward, draping you backwards in his arms as his mouth attaches to your chest. Humid, open-mouthed kisses are littered across your skin, nips taken at the tender flesh of your breasts. Closing his lips around one of your nipples, he sucks strongly, pulling a whimper from your throat.
“Thought you could be quiet, doll?” he rasps, raising an eyebrow as he looks up at you from your sternum.
Nodding furiously, you pout your lower lip out, whispering back, “I can be, I will be. I promise.”
“You promise? Don’t make promises you can’t keep, baby.” Joel stands up straight, pulling you with him to press against his torso. Catching your lips in a deep kiss, Joel breathes a sigh into your mouth, melting his tongue against yours and drinking in the taste of you.
Dripping with saccharine sugar. Coated with syrupy goodness, plump and succulent like a maraschino cherry. A toothache, or maybe even a heartache waiting to happen.
He’s fucking screwed, but damn if it doesn’t feel good as he nails himself to his own persecution from whoever may find out about this.
Handfuls of your undulating curves fill his palms as he kisses you, groaning into your mouth as he grabs at the swell of your ass. Silky satin brushes against his hand, reminding him of the other part of his present to unwrap. Pulling away from your mouth with one last lick of your candied taste, he has the mind to imagine what the rest of your flavors all across your body might be.
Joel turns you in his arms, back flush to his chest as he grinds his bulge against the lustrous fabric, smirking to himself as you whimper quietly, so hushed he can barely hear it over his heartbeat thudding in his ears. Lips coast over the shell of your ear, nibbling your lobe before pressing a kiss right below.
“Can I undo your other pretty bow, babygirl? Unwrap the rest of my present?” Joel nips again when you breathe out consent. He walks you closer to the bed, hitting your knees against the frame before he takes one step back, touch still lingering on your skin. From behind you, he sighs appreciatively as he drinks in your form, licking his lips as his eyes devour you.
Pinching the ribbon between his thick fingers, he flicks it against your skin, satisfied with the way you react with goosebumps raised. One gentle tug unravels it all, exposing your cheeks to him fully and with the drop of the material from between his fingertips, your panties fall to the floor. One hand wrapping around your thigh, Joel coaxes you to step out to the side with it, kicking the fabric from your ankle.
He kneels behind you, pressing his lips against the swell of your ass. Flooded with the scent of your skin, vanilla and cinnamon, the smell of Christmas. Nose smashed into the supple flesh, teeth sinking into the curve, a gentle bite stealing another taste of you. A curse is mumbled against you, a sweet kiss pressed on the tiny birthmark on your ass, tongue tracing into the fading bite mark.
“Joel…” you whine above him, hand reaching back and nimble fingers tangling into his messy, gray curls.
“I know, doll. Got lost there for a second. You’re so perfect…”
He sighs again, standing up with a quiet crack in his joints. A blatant reminder of the difference between you two. Young versus old. Sprightly versus verging on doddering. Even if he is eager, there’s no denying the difference.
There’s no doubt in your mind that Joel’s about to be more of a gift to you than you are to him. The way he’s touching you, delicate worship before he’s even gotten to what he truly wants, taking his time despite the pressure of the party downstairs. Serves as a reassurance that he wants this as much as you do, wants to take his sweet time if this is going to be his only chance.
You pray to god it isn’t. Even before you’ve even laid eyes on his cock, you just know. He’s going to fuck you senseless. Ruin every other man for you.
In a blur, he guides you to fall forward onto the mattress, hooking fingers to remove your panties from your other ankle while you scoot toward the center. He finds solace between your legs, propping your hips up into a kneeling position to give him easier leverage. 
“Think this might be my favorite present I’ve been given, doll. So fucking gorgeous. Looking delectable…Can I have a taste, darling? You as sweet as you seem?”
Your head is turned sideways, laying against the plush comforter, opening your mouth to whisper to him in the same moment he swipes his tongue through your folds, groaning into your inner thigh before he dives back in, working to devour you like a man starved, quenching his thirst on your arousal. Flicking his tongue against your pearl, coated in your translucence, suckling at it with pure need. Turning to press the front of your face into your bedding, it muffles your moans and whines, raising in pitch as he fucks your tight cunt with his strong tongue, lapping at you with the same fervor he’d lick the color from a candy cane.
“Fuck, Joel, fuck fuck fuck!” you shout in a scouring voice, scratching your vocal chords together with a strain. Curling your fingers into the softened, washed fabric, you gasp when one of his solid fingers slips into your walls. He groans, holding back his louder reaction to your gripping walls, hypnotized by the way you even stretch around his fingers when he adds another.
Head against your thigh, he studies the way you take his middle and ring fingers, the velvety slick of your pussy, and the spongy spot he finds, curling his digits to press into it and watch you squirm helplessly from the sensitive pleasure.
“Talkin’ all well mannered and pretty. So quiet and polite all the time. With your ‘yes’sir’s and ‘please’s and ‘thank you’s. You think about saying those to me while you’re under me like this?”
“Yes, yes’sir. All the fucking time. Every time I—I looked at you, felt myself…felt myself gettin’ so fucking wet. Was always dripping around you, waiting for something to happen. For you to take me so I can be a good girl for you, sir,” you confess, obedience and need sitting every word so prettily into his ears. “M’so—Fuck m’gonna come, Joel.”
He nods slowly, taking last looks at your cunt before he moves his fingers in and out quicker, dipping his chin down for his mouth to find your clit against, lapping at your dripping wetness and sucking hard. At the next press of his fingers against that spot inside of you, your vision grows blurred, white haze painting everything with a dreamlike filter. You bite into the linen fabric of your comforter, gagging yourself to keep quiet as you come, digging the balls of your feet to the mattress to push yourself away from Joel who continues to work you through it. He grabs at you, tugging you back to get his fill until you sob, overstimulation drawing tears up to the corners of your eyes.
“All kept and composed and ladylike. Been taught to behave, haven’t you? Bet you fucking love to be such a little slut. Anybody ever let you? Such a dirty girl, aren’t you, babydoll?” Joel’s voice sounds distanced at first, senses falling back into place in your body as you come down completely. His work-worn hands coast over your body, roughening against your soft skin like sandpaper moving with the grain. Little resistance but catching in places it favors.
“Just—Just for you, Daddy.” It slips out smoothly from your mouth, the weight of the title heavy against your tongue in the same way you imagine his cock would feel. Filling. Satisfying.
Joel rises slowly from where he’s bent behind you, letting one leg fall behind him as he stands, the other propped on the bed. His eyes narrow in on yours, lips parted and tongue darting out as he replays what you said.
Daddy.
First, you’re already on his mind and years younger, yet he couldn’t stop picturing you in this exact position. Next, you’re the one to make the first move, dragging him away from this Christmas party and presenting him with a Secret Santa gift that feels way out of the budget. You’re priceless. And now, you’re laid out for him, already nearly at the level of fucked out from him only using his mouth and fingers, and you’re fucking calling him Daddy.
Best Christmas of his goddamn life.
“Now, darlin’, were you saving that to be the cherry on top of the cake? ‘Cause that’s just about the sweetest thing. My pretty lil’ babydoll saying she’s Daddy’s dirty girl,” he scoffs in disbelief, shaking his head while his fingers work his button open on his jeans, dragging the zipper down against his throbbing bulge. “Gonna have to be quiet, yeah? Gotta keep your sweet mouth closed while Daddy fucks you, doll.”
“I’ll be quiet, promise. Please, Daddy.” Your pleas widen Joel’s smirk, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips once again. He pushes his denim down with his cotton boxers in their wake, sighing softly when his hard cock is fully freed. His tip is aching and red, leaking precum and leaving a wet spot on his underwear. With one hand, he starts to slowly stroke himself, holding in a moan enough that it leaves his lips as a soft exhale.
“Good girl…” he mumbles, studying your form. “Move back toward me, babygirl. Hands behind your back.”
Complying with his direction, you inch back until Joel places a hand on your lower back. At that, you lay forward again, the side of your face pressing against the duvet as Joel steps back from the bed and searches the floor. A dribble of drool drips from the corner of your lips as you watch him, one large hand around his cock, spreading his precum along his length. Part of you has the mind to beg for him in your mouth, to completely disregard the need pulsating your cunt at the moment, and to feel his warm spend coating your throat as he finishes fucking it.
But you’re fucking selfish. This is also a gift for you, so win-win.
Pressing your wrists together at your lower back, you observe as Joel locates what he is looking for, standing up with a devilish smirk. Your panties.
He towers over you again when he steps back to you, one hand coasting over the curve of your ass, a gentle smack delivered that makes a quiet yelp escape from your lips. The same hand skims back up your skin, easily grabbing both of your wrists in his long fingers and holding them closer while he slips the silky material behind. In a quick motion, he has your arms tied together with a bow, a content smile on his face as he makes eye contact with you.
“Wrapped all up again, babydoll. Such a pretty gift for me.”
“Well you’ve got a pretty package, Daddy,” you reply with a mischievous giggle, earning a breathy chuckle from Joel behind you. He grips the knot of your makeshift restraint, tugging taut to arch your back and pull your hips closer. His other hand wraps around the base of himself, dragging the head of him through your drenched folds, circling your clit, and chuckling again at the jump of your thighs.
“Please, Daddy, I need—” you start pleading, muffled into linen before you’re cut off by the stretch of Joel’s cock filling your tight hole, a gasp escaping your lungs with a punch. Your mouth is stuffed with the duvet from your bite down, nursing your tongue against the material as he slowly presses into you, inch by inch. There’s an ever-so-slight pain candy-coating the pleasure, melting away to get to the gooey, oozing center that spreads over your entire body.
Pausing when he reaches the hilt of himself, Joel sighs, rolling his head back as he internally thanks whatever Christmas magic must be out there for this moment.
“So fucking tight, baby.” 
Your dampened whine shoots a wave of intense need throughout him, growling low as he holds your restraint tighter, dragging his hips back before he starts a punishing pace. Control escapes him, desire taking over his actions as he starts to properly fuck you. His cock teaching you how to take every single inch of it.
Messes of his name and your moans are stifled and stuttered into the comforter gagging you, chest hovering over the mattress as Joel holds tight to the knot in your panties.
“Can’t hold back any longer, baby, jus’—fuck—jus’ gonna take Daddy’s cock like a good girl, aren’t ya?” The only precision remains in the soft cracks of skin on skin, not loud enough to draw any attention from the party downstairs. Poppy carols play faintly in the background, the only other soundtrack being the vulgar mumbles slipping from Joel’s lips.
Drawing you closer and closer, the edge is tasted on your tongue, so close but barely in reach as the man behind you rocks his hips, the tip of his hard cock brushing that same spongy spot inside of you that he managed to reach with his fingers, bruising into your cervix with each snap.
At the next drag-out, Joel pulls away from you completely. When you whine with protest, he’s tugging you to stand up on your knees, whispering in your ear amid his quick movements, “Need to see your face when I make you come all over my cock…”
Before you can be left with any thoughts to a response, he’s flipping you onto your back, hands tied still, and tugging you near again. He steals a pillow from the top of your bed, shoving it under your hips to lift your pelvis, gifting himself the perfect angle to thrust into you again from the height he stands at.
The new angle punches out moans from your chest, Joel’s name littering the empty room as you try so hard to remain quiet.
“Shh, I know, doll, I know. Feels so fucking good, doesn’t it? Y’love bein’ Daddy’s little slut.” Nodding furiously, another louder moan leaves your mouth, brows knit together with worry as you hurtle closer and closer to the edge.
A large palm moves to cover your mouth, shaking his head slowly to remind you of your promise to be his good girl, his quiet girl. 
“Pleasepleaseplease, Daddy…” He feels the vibrations of your voice against his hand, the words muddled into slight nonsense from pleasure clouding your brain. Joel holds onto one of your legs, pulling it up to hook onto his shoulder and press forward to get deeper inside of you. The switch has you screaming into his palm, eyes squeezing shut as you squirm under him.
“Eyes on me, babygirl. Keep your eyes on Daddy.”
Joel’s hips pound into you, chasing his own climax. Your eyes snap open at his instruction, mouthing at his hand and moaning loudly behind it, nodding your head furiously. Your tight walls squeeze around his hard cock, his grunts held back to keep quiet despite the noise of the party downstairs growing in volume.
“Come on, doll. Come on my cock…Fuck, you gonna let Daddy fill up your pretty little cunt?” The quick, speechless nods answers his question, both of you toeing the edge.
There’s a moment when both of you seize up, muscles tense and eyes burning into each other’s. It only lasts a split second before it explodes with a pop, at the same second a champagne bottle pops downstairs. Joel breathes out your name, over and over, mingling with your whimpers of his name and Daddy switching back and forth in your mind. Interchangeable to you.
Pleasure fizzes over your bodies like bubbles in the flutes being filled, the bubbling aerations trickling up up up to your head, making you feel lighter than air as pure bliss overwhelms you. Tingles aftershock across your nerves, a shiver sent down your spine as Joel pulls out.
Quietly, he groans as he watches his excess spend drip out of you, mixing with your come and glistening against your folds. One thick finger swipes at the spot, pushing the swirl of you back inside of your walls.
A soft whimper slips from your lips and Joel’s eyes meet yours in a flash, a gentle smile stretching across your face. He coaxes you to sit up and unties your hands behind your back, slowly massaging your wrists with his thumbs and kissing where the skin rubbed against the fabric. The tender touches accompany the soothing, comfortable silence.
Redressing you, Joel attempts to tie the bows of your bra and panties, huffing softly in frustration. You giggle when he’s working on your bra, taking his chin gingerly between your fingers and turning his head to look at you. Leaning in, his lips catch yours in a sweet, sugary gumdrop kiss. 
It’s another moment before both of you are fully dressed again. You study yourself in the mirror above your dresser, smoothing your hair down. Joel steps up behind you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder through the knit sweater. He turns you around to face him again, grinning shyly as his eyes comb over your face.
The two of you share another kiss, his calloused hand cradling your cheek when he pulls away.
“You gonna be under my tree again on Christmas day, doll?”
“Depends…Were you naughty or nice this year?” you counter, earning a quiet laugh from Joel as he shakes his head.
“Think what just happened has put me on the naughty list for a long time, babygirl. And you, too.” He shoots you a cheeky wink and you laugh, shaking your head as you lock your fingers together in front of you.
“I did actually get you something though…” you admit shyly, rocking back and forth on the heels of your feet.
Joel grins, eyes flicking down to your anxious hands. His thumb brushes against the skin of your cheek, eyes meeting yours again as he replies, “You have another gift for me? Didn’t need to do that, doll.”
“I mean…Kinda needed a backup plan if this whole thing didn’t work out.” A chuckle is shared between both of you before you continue, “Sorry for spoiling the whole guessing game of Secret Santa.”
“Darlin’, you could spoil any games for me if it ends up with this kinda surprise.” Joel smirks before stealing another quick kiss, pulling away when you step back to fish out the small, meticulously wrapped giftbox from the top right drawer of your dresser.
Handing over the square package, Joel’s eyes glitter with boyish excitement. The corner of his mouth pulls up to one side while his thick fingers slip under the creases of the paper to rip the tape, undoing the festive wrapping to reveal the lidded giftbox that he opens quickly. Inside, Joel studies the contents. Small triangles with rounded corners made from thin nylon plastic. A deep emerald green, all sitting like precious gemstones. His initials are branded into one side with gold paint, the flip side emblemed with the silhouette of an owl.
“Sweetheart…Thank you. These are real nice…” he speaks softly while he picks one up between his index and thumb, turning it between the tips of his fingers. “They’re perfect. Gonna be sad if I end up losing one of these like all my other picks.”
You smile sweetly, stepping closer again and resting your hands on his biceps, “Guess you’ll have to take good care of ‘em.”
As he looks at you, he mirrors your smile, sharing one more gentle kiss before whispering against your lips, “Can think of another something I have to take good care of.”
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taglist: @atinylittlepain @swiftispunk @joelsversion @mrsmando @ilovepedro @lovers-liability @deathwife @undrthelights @atticrissfinch @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @addictedtotlou @brittmb115 @anoverwhelmingdin @spishsstuff @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @harriedandharassed @decemberdolly @laiisleitte @fierce-bab @vickie5446 @pertinentpostmortem @livingdeadmaria @sullyosully @bitchwitch1981 @its-nebuleuse @marini03 @piercethevic03 @joeandpedrosimp @planet-marz1 @txtattoostark @jrosie25 @thereaperisabitch @tbniarq @vee-bees-blog @spidermanfrog @belliezz @joelsflannel @cartoon-garbage04 @bianqueee04 @nostalxgic @xyzstar @cumberpegg @b00klvrs @burningnerdchild
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back2bluesidex · 7 months
Text
Girl Crush - MYG
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Part of my Milestone Drabble Request Game. Find the request here.
Read the follow-up drabble, Afterglow.
Pairing: Husband!Yoongi X Wife!Reader
Theme: Angst, Unrequited love au, arrange marriage au
Wordcount: 1.5k+
Summary: It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at.
Based on Girl Crush by Harry Styles (Cover).
Warnings: unhappy marriage, unrequited love, yoongi loves someone else. this is very painful.
Minors are not allowed in this blog!!
A/N: I had this idea sitting on my head for a long time now. Thanks to @jimintaemin for requesting this and giving me a chance of writing this. This is very angsty just as you wanted. Hope you like this. Hit me back with your feedback!:)
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“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”
“I assume you already know that this is a marriage of convenience, a negotiation between two companies. And I hope you will not expect anything from me. As long as it’s about responsibilities, I am okay with those. But don’t expect anything more.” Min Yoongi had said, cold and stoic, as if not conversing but stating some flat facts related to stock prices. 
He was not wrong. Whatever he had said are indeed facts and there was nothing you didn’t already know.
So you stood there, standing as still as a porcelain doll, ready to fall and break at any given moment. 
“And just so you know… I have someone.” he finished, diverting his eyes from you even though he never really looked at you properly. 
Although you were glad that he didn’t. You were more than happy that he didn’t witness tears rolling down your face, gathering below your chin and dropping down at the immaculate fabric of your wedding gown. 
Do tears leave stains? You hoped that was not the case. 
It’s not that you pictured a fairytale married life for you. You know arranged marriages come with more cons than pros. You knew you would have to pay the price.. but at the same time you had no choice. You were even more reluctant to do anything because it was him. 
It was and is Min Yoongi, who you fell in love with over the course of charity galas, executive meetings, quarterly gatherings, parties and so on. And he never once looked in your direction. But then again, there are very few people Yoongi really looked at. 
It was foolish for you to expect a man of his stature would not have someone to love, to be loved by. And it was even more foolish for you to think, you can be his wife, a real one.. and lead a life with him. 
However, now you know it’s impossible. And the realization made you feel helpless, caged and broken. 
“I won’t expect anything, I promise, but in return… Can we at least be friends? It will make things easy for both of us.” you’d uttered upon managing your voice and emotions. 
Only then he looked at you, like really looking at you with a small smile playing on his lips, he’d said “sure.”  
That was the moment you realized you had a girl crush. And it was the woman who managed to make Yoongi, your husband, fall in love. 
“I got it real bad.. Want everything she has That smile and that midnight laugh.. She's giving you now.” 
You thought, you would be angry. You thought every possible darkness would cover your senses, when you’d meet her for the first time. 
But wrong… you were. 
You had so many prejudices about this woman and you hated her with every drop of blood your body owns but all of it evaporated in thin air when she smiled at you standing right at your and yoongi’s door. 
She is beautiful, she is kind, she is loveable… and maybe everything else you can’t ever be. 
“Thank you so much, Y/N. I never thought I was going to see Yoongi ever again.” she’d murmured as she stood close to you in the kitchen, preparing dinner for you three. 
You had stared into her eyes then.. Trying to find mockery and a hint of brazen victory telling you, “you’re only his paper wife. I own his heart.” 
But again.. Again you were disappointed. 
In her eyes, there was no mockery, no pretense, no dishonesty.. Rather only understanding and kindness. Only then you understood why Yoongi loves her so much. 
Why will it never be you and always be her.  
That night as you stood at the balcony, enjoying the stinging sensation cold wind brought to you, you heard them laughing.
It was the first time you heard Min Yoongi laughing. Even though faint and muffled, you could still sense his happiness through the sound. 
Min Yoongi was finally happy... for the first time since the wedding ceremony... and you were not the reason. 
All of a sudden, you were jealous again, even though you were not sure if you had the right or not. 
“I want to taste her lips… Yeah, 'cause they taste like you I want to drown myself… In a bottle of her perfume”
You didn’t know what you were thinking when you invited her to your and Yoongi’s honeymoon. 
Both of your and his parents have been pestering you to set out for the trip. You have been using excessive workload as the excuse and you assumed Yoongi to do the same.
But a week ago, everything went south when Yoongi had a fight with his father. As a result, flights were booked, accommodations were chosen and you two were notified only two days prior. 
That night, Yoongi didn’t come back home. And when he did, he didn’t speak a single word to you. 
The visible frown on his forehead and the cold aura that oozed from him, made you want to make him smile, made you invite his lover to the trip secretly.  
She was already there when you two reached and you will never forget Yoongi’s reaction when he realized what was happening. 
The grumpy cold Yoongi broke into gummy smiles and giggles as soon as he saw her. They kissed right in front of your eyes and you silently cried. 
Oh how you wish, you could taste him too. How you wish, he would hold you like that, caress you like that. 
How you wish… he would love you like that. 
“I want her long blond hair… I want her magic touch Yeah, 'cause maybe then… You'd want me just as much”
 “Babe, could you please turn your head a little? Yes.. yes just like that.” 
You watched the man as he clicked photos after photos of the woman he loves, seemingly trying to document her beauty for a long long time.  
You watched her as her long blond hair flowed like a waterfall down her shoulder, wind ruffling it gently making her look even more beautiful. 
“Let’s take a selfie, will you?” she shouted at him and he chuckled. 
He buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, he said, “you smell so nice.”
You wondered, what she smelled like, what perfume did she use to make Yoongi look this satisfied. You even considered asking her, purchasing a bottle and drowning yourself in one of those if that means Yoongi would love to smell you too, he would curl himself around you late at night. If that means Yoongi would want you, just as much. 
“I don't get no sleep… I don't get no peace Thinking about her.. Under your bed sheets”
“Where are you going?” confusion dripped through Yoongi’s voice. You stopped at your tracks and turned to face him. 
“I will sleep in the other room. You two should have your space. I will send her in as soon as I am there.” you smiled at him, even though your heart bleed invisibly inside your chest at the thought of how they would spend the night together. 
“No, Y/N. We will adjust. You sleep here in the suite.” Yoongi commented, as firm as a verdict, as he stepped towards where you stood. 
“But Yoongi, I am alone, what would I do with all this space?” you sighed. You definitely didn’t want to be left alone at the honeymoon suite, decorated for the newlyweds. You hate it. Totally loathe the decorations. Those giant red hearts had been mocking you since the moment you stepped there. You might tear those to pieces if you were left there alone, raising endless questions regarding such an act. 
“You have done enough. You have done much more than you needed to and I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness. So, please… stay here. Enjoy the stay. We will manage.” giving you one of his tight lipped smiles, Yoongi slipped out of the room to spend the night with his lover. 
That night when you slid inside the covers, which smelled awfully like him because he took a nap earlier in the evening, you started breaking down. 
Your hopes, your dreams, and your heart all started crumbling right before your eyes. You held the duvet tightly around yourself and pretended it was yoongi wrapped around you, it was Yoongi, whispering sweet things in your ear, it was Yoongi, telling you that he loved you. 
Somewhere you knew, Yoongi is actually doing all these things in real-time but.. Not to you.. Not for you. 
You closed your eyes, tears streamed down your cheeks and wetted the pillow. You imagined your life as her… as your girl crush… as the woman your husband, Min Yoongi, loves. 
“I've got a girl crush… Hate to admit it but I’ve got a heart rush… It ain’t slowin' down”
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1K notes · View notes
noxtivagus · 2 years
Text
NIGHT IN THE BRUME
#🌙 rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#THIS MASTERPIECE. THIS SONG . it's so special to me#wait thinking abt it rn makes me feel like crying. night in the brume represents a lot of my emotions across time#i rmber when i finally reached ishgard way back in early 2021 i cried so much#n that meant so much to me bcs ffxiv really helped me be more open w my emotions again. it was so hard for me for the longest time#n i was so stressed at that time w the future i rmber but ffxiv really slows down time for me and comforts me#the feeling of success i felt when i reached that milestone in game. i finished arr. that meant so much to me#this melody brings back so much memories. it's safe enough for me that i can easily lose myself in it n be at peace#it reminds me of moments n late nights like these where i'm alone in my room w everyone else sleeping n there's just a light to my left#before i knew of emet's existence alphinaud/aymeric/haurchefant were my top 3 faves. all have connections w ishgard#listening to this song reminds me of all those moments as a sprout when i'd just chill in ishgard. or do msq. or wait in queue to level#times where i'd just happily take pics of my wol like i'm her mom or smth. posting on my priv twt. i was so young#i'd find peace and comfort in this little world in my video game. i was on free trial tho so i didn't play w any friends for so long#early months of summer soon i didn't know what i was doing. being stuck in the free trial reflected my own hopelessness w life in general#when finally buying the game tho i rmber logging into the inn of ishgard. i rmber going to ul'dah n finally being able to play w apollo#i rmber later on taking screenshots in ishgard as well n just relaxing. n night in the brume/solid wld play in the back#n it also just reminds me of a lot of things i've written. whether it be related to ishgard for example or while listening to the song#i rmber writing before abt imagining late night walks in ishgard while holding the hand of someone you love#imagine looking up at the beautiful night sky. it's a bit cold w the chill of the breeze but there's warmth w the person by your side#no responsibilities. deep talks or silence; whichever it may be it still gives you comfort.#looking back at my old notes my lore for my wol was 'in hw she learned to trust again'#oh god i already shed a few tears earlier but i feel like crying again bcs i still rmber writing these words so clearly#that was a time where i really really needed a long hug. n maybe rn i need that as well.#;;; i have notes on wolgraha here but for apollo's sake i'll change that to wol/oc omg#damn it's been nearly 2 whole years since i've (mostly consistently) written what happens nearly everyday#huh. 2022's nearly over n it scares me how fast time seems to pass by. remembering hurts so much but it also gives me sm comfort T_T#years months weeks days. sm changes so quickly. it hurts so much idk what to do abt it when there's nothing that cld console that#it's nearly 3 am tho i'll do a few things first then i'll head to sleep
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reiding-writing · 3 months
Note
REDDD ‼️ MAJOR CONGRATS FOR YOUR MILESTONE YOU DESERVE IT AHHHH
may i request 1 & 7 from the general dialogue prompts with spencer reid please 🥹🫶
SENDING YOU KISSES ☝️🤭😚 XOXO
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POOL ‘PARTY’ [CLIMACTERIC]
/pul ˈpɑːrti/
1. “Okay, maybe I have a crush on you! So what?”
7. “I don’t want anyone else.”
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WARNINGS: based on 01x18, minor lila slander, spencer thinking of someone else whilst making out with lila, arguing
spencer reid x gn!reader || flangst || 1.9k Il climacteric event!!
a/n: THANK YOU ML <3333 enjoy me dabbling back into my angst game again, with a happy ending ofc 🫶
main masterlist!! ⋆。°✩ event masterlist!!
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You approach Spencer with a raised eyebrow and a click of your tongue, eyes scanning over Spencer’s completely soaked appearance.
His eyes turn to you widened in surprise, but his expression quickly morphs into guilt as he meets your eyes. “I uh- fell in,”
“I’m sure there are plenty of photos of you ‘falling in’,” Your eyes narrow with a scoff, and you cross your arms over your chest in very clear disappointment at his recklessness.
“I- It really wasn’t meant to happen I swear-” You cut off Spencer’s attempt at an explanation by shoving a beach towel against his torso, and he lets out a small groan from the force.
“You have to be the stupidest person i’ve ever met.” Spencer flinches at your tone, hands wringing at the towel as he lowers his head.
He supposes he deserves the scolding, he’d broken so many rules of professionalism and put Lila’s life in danger.
The worst part was that he didn’t even enjoy it.
He’d ruined everything and didn’t even enjoy what he was risking everything for.
He truly was an idiot.
“I’m sorry-”
“I don’t want your apology.” You cut him off with a hand raised in his direction. “If you want to apologise to someone, apologise to Lila, because you won’t be seeing her for the rest of the case.”
Lila’s name is dripping with venom as it rolls off your tongue, and Spencer presses his lips into a tight line with a small nod in your direction.
It’s a proportional punishment, but it’s not like he wanted to see her again anyway. Even the thought of what he’d done made him want to punch himself.
“I really didn’t-” He stops himself this time, knowing that you don’t want to hear his excuses. “I’ll… go change now…”
“There’s clothes in the SUV.” He sighs dejectedly at the coyness in your tone, and he swears he’ll cry if you keep this up.
“Right…” He gives you a soft nod, and you have half the mind to feel bad about the way you’re treating him, but for some reason the image of the two of them in the pool together fills you with some unforeseen, insurmountable rage that you can’t seem to suppress.
After he’s changed and dry, he reapproaches the front of the house cautiously. He knows that he probably won’t be allowed back inside, but he also doesn’t want to hang around the SUV looking like an idiot, he’d made himself a big enough one already.
You’re the only one still outside, standing with your arms crossed with your eyes following his movements through your narrowed gaze.
You were still angry with him. Great.
He didn’t want you to be angry with him. That was the last thing he ever wanted.
“I…” Spencer exhales softly as he comes up short on something to say. You didn’t want him to apologise. You didn’t want him to explain himself. What was he supposed to say?
You answer his question for him with one of your own. “Was it worth it?”
He flickers his eyes towards yours, guilt and regret written all over his features. “No…”
“Didn’t think so.”
Spencer can feel the tears prick at his eyes as your tone continues to wash over him like an ice-cold shower, and he takes a shuddered breath in through his mouth, clearing his throat and blinking rapidly to keep his gaze clear.
“I didn’t want to… I didn’t even enjoy it…” He frowns through glassy eyes and you crumble almost immediately. How are you supposed to be angry at him when he looks like that?
“Why did you do it?” Your voice is considerably softer this time, and as much as Spencer is grateful for it, it doesn’t stop a single tear from trickling down his face.
“I don’t know-” He sighs heavily as he wipes his cheek with the back of his hand, running his other hand through the still damp mess of his hair.
He did know.
Kind of anyway.
He’d always prided himself on having a vivid imagination, one that he had been using during what happened with Lila.
And you could read his dishonesty immediately.
“Spencer.”
He knew he’d been caught. “I don’t want to talk about it,”
He crosses his arms over his chest defensively as he evades eye contact with you.
“Spencer.” You were going to get to the bottom of his reasoning behind breaking one of the cardinal rules of being an FBI agent.
“I was imagining that she was someone else okay?” He raises his voice slightly in his defensiveness, and you have to take a second to actually soak in his sentence and the implications of it.
“You- What?” You can do nothing but stare at him in a state of absolute shock at his confession.
“I was imagining that I was kissing somebody else…” He repeats his statement with much less vigour the second time around, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Does she know that?” You raise an eyebrow slightly as you ask your question. God knows you wouldn’t want to be kissing someone only to find out that they were thinking about somebody else the entire time.
“We had an argument about it before you guys turned up…”
So she did know. That made it a little better at least.
“So who was it then?”
Spencer turned his eyes back to yours again with a surprised expression. “What?-”
“Who were you thinking about?” You’re not sure exactly why you want to know who Spencer was thinking about during his little ‘pool party’, and you had a feeling you wouldn’t be satisfied with whatever answer you gave him, but some twisted part of your mind felt the need to know.
“I-” Spencer pressed his lips together tightly. “You don’t need to know that,”
“Why not?” You furrow your eyebrows as his defensiveness escalates again. “What’s there to hide?”
“Maybe I just don’t want my personal life being aired to the people I work with?” He mirrors your expression with his own as he rubs his hands up and down his arms.
“Fine, keep your secrets then,” you say, a hint of frustration in your voice. “But just know, you can't keep messing up like this. It's not just about you.”
"I know that," he returns your frustration with his own. “But who I’m interested in is nobody’s business except my own.”
“Why are you so defensive about this?”
“Why do you want to know who it is so badly?”
The tension crackles between you two, each word adding fuel to the fire of the argument.
“Because,” you retort sharply, “I need to know if I can trust you. If your mind is somewhere else when you're supposed to be focused on the mission, it puts everyone at risk,”
Was that the real reasoning behind why you wanted to know so badly? No. But you didn’t exactly know what was.
Spencer's jaw tightens, his eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and hurt. “You think I don't take this seriously? You think I don't care about the mission?”
“I don't know what to think anymore,” you admit, your voice softer now, but no less charged with emotion. “All I know is that you've been acting recklessly, and I can't afford to have that kind of distraction.”
“I'm not distracted,” Spencer protests, his voice tinged with desperation.
“You just verbally admitted to thinking about somebody else whilst making out with someone, that’s not distracted?” You gesture outwards exasperatedly. “We can’t be sure that you’ve got the right head in the game unless you say who you were thinking about.”
“It was you okay?” Spencer’s voice raises again as he throws out his arms in frustration. “Happy?”
You didn’t have the mental capacity to decide if you were happy.
You barely computed his answer in the first place. Were you happy that it was you? Was that the reason you pressed him so hard?
What on earth was happening?
“What-”
“Okay yeah, maybe I have a crush on you, so what?” Spencer continued to verbalise his defensiveness in exasperation. “It’s not like it was ever going to go anywhere.”
“You were thinking about me?” You still haven’t fully comprehended his confession yet, and Spencer mistakes your slowness for sarcasm.
“Yes. I was thinking about you. There’s no need to rub it in my face.” Spencer's frustration is palpable, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rests upon them.
But beneath the frustration, there's a vulnerability, a rawness that tugs at your heartstrings.
You realise then that this argument, this tension between you, it's not just about the mission or the case—it's about something deeper, something you've both been trying to ignore or brush aside.
"I'm not trying to rub it in your face," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm just... trying to understand."
“I mean-” You fumble over your sentences as you try to make sense of everything. “Why would you kiss somebody else? Why would you imagine it was me whilst you did it? I just- I don’t get it,”
“I don’t want anybody else. I never wanted anybody else. But what was I supposed to do?” Spencer sighs as he takes his fingers through his hair.
“Tell me?”
“And have you rip me to pieces? I’d rather spend my whole life as just your friend than risk something like that-” He doesn’t have the chance to finish his sentence.
Your lips press against his hard, your hand anchored at the side of his neck as you take what you deem a reasonable action to get him to just stop talking for a second.
In your defence, it does work, all of Spencer’s frustration dying on his tongue as he slowly starts to reciprocate, his hands half-hesitantly coming up to cup your face so that he wouldn’t lose the contact with you even if you tried to pull away, which of course, you weren’t going to do unless strictly necessary.
He finally didn’t have to imagine what your lips would taste like anymore, and he wasn’t going to let the moment end before he got his fill of you.
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This post appeared again on my dash and it makes me smile every time, but this time I can't get the idea of a sterek version out of my head.
Imagine the Hale fire happened a week before school started and Derek didn't deal with it well. People would whisper behind his back or pity him and he hated it. Then he met Stiles, a chaotic ball of energy that barrelled into his life, treated him like anyone else, went on long rambling tangents, and made Derek smile.
They started dating and ended up getting married after graduation. But with every milestone that passed, Derek would think about his family. He wished his mum was in the crowd the day he graduated, he wishes his family could have met Stiles, wishes they could have gotten to know him, that they could have seen how he makes Derek smile.
At their wedding, they lay a flower on each of the seats that Derek's family would have filled.
On their honeymoon, Derek gets a call from Cora. She and Laura had been clearing out old boxes of stuff and she found a photo of the soccer team she and Derek played on when they were younger, and one of the kids in the photo looks just like Stiles.
Derek shows Stiles the photo and Stiles says, "Yeah, I was the goalie."
Later, when Derek is on the phone to Laura, he tells her about the photo and how he and Cora were on the same team as Stiles.
"I remember those games," Laura reminisces. "Mum and I used to watch the goalie - sweet kid. He would sit down in the goal and play in the dirt. Mum thought he was hilarious. She loved that kid."
Derek smiles as he looks at his husband and thinks, Yeah, I love him too.
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euphternal · 2 months
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Wait coach!emily has me feeling things 😩 can I request an imagine where our daughter is playing basketball and em is coaching her in an aau game?
coach!mum!emily engstler x mum!reader 🏀🤰🏼
notes: i am fucking INLOVVVVVEEEEEEE with this. ur brain works WONDERSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! taglist form, if you guys wanna be tagged in my works !! @imsobabygiirl @xBibella8swan @xxloveralways14 @sunkissed-zegras 🎀 and my requests are open!!
ʚɞ
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ʚɞ first lessons: coach emily starts with the basics, teaching your daughter how to properly dribble and pass the ball, making sure each session is full of encouragement and high fives.
ʚɞ patience and practice: emily shows incredible patience as she guides your daughter through drills, breaking down each movement into easy-to-understand steps and celebrating even the smallest progress.
ʚɞ fun games: to keep training enjoyable, emily incorporates fun basketball games and challenges, ensuring your daughter is laughing as much as she's learning.
ʚɞ mother-daughter bonding: emily and your daughter develop a special bond on the court, creating shared memories and in-jokes that they bring home after practice.
ʚɞ motivation talks: after each practice session, emily takes the time to talk to your daughter about the importance of perseverance, teamwork, and sportsmanship, instilling valuable life lessons.
ʚɞ sideline support: during team games, emily is always the supportive coach on the sidelines, cheering not only for the team but giving extra encouragement to your daughter.
ʚɞ post-game reflections: emily always discusses the game afterward with your daughter, focusing on what she did well and what could be improved in a positive and constructive manner.
ʚɞ family involvement: emily often invites you to watch the practice sessions and games, making it a family affair where you all support and cheer for your daughter together.
ʚɞ skill progression: as your daughter improves, emily introduces more advanced techniques, adjusting her coaching methods to match your daughter’s growing skills and confidence.
ʚɞ celebrating milestones: emily and you both celebrate your daughter's milestones, whether it's her first successful basket during a game or mastering a new dribbling technique, marking each achievement with a little celebration.
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