#this is my account and I'll do what I want

[acid-ixx]

— masterlist !

amazing art made by @questionthegrapevine. i'm posting it through my account rather than reblogging so you can gain more traction! hope u don't mind ^^ !

Transcript from original posts read: This is my oc for again & again by @.acid-ixx

I honestly did this to experiment art styles (and the series has me in a choke hold but let's ignore that-)

His name is either Ethan or Emile (dead name Emily so Emile became a choice). He likes wearing red Because blood brings comfort :D. He only wears the jacket because he didn't wanna worry Alfred (Alfred knows anyway)

I would've tried more but this was just experimentation so... yay (You can tell I truly gave up when I was drawing the jacket)

(Btw the shirt says "your mother" in auslan, courtesy of a friend)

Second Picture: I practiced facial expressions with my boy! I'm not very good at expressions. Or keeping a consistent artstyle... Eh.

You can tell I got lazier in the second row. I still haven't actually decided a name for him. I'm also working on another artwork (one where I actually try) but I need the author of again&again to answer my ask. If he doesn't, I'll just wing it (That's a pun but it doesn't make sense until I actually post the artwork). I hope I don't lose my sanity with the next one!

tysm for sending this in... i love it and the design!!! you should be an animator since the artstyle reminds me so much of my adventures with superman! he's so absolutely gorgeous, so baby and this is one of the few masc representing mc portrayals i've received and he's absolutely gorgeous!!! i feel like, through my soul, his name would be emile. it just reminds me of me being filipino idk... also, the your mother joke shirt design makes me want to cry comedically because if the mc actually moved on from losing their mother, the next best thing they'll do to cope is through your mom jokes and that's what your portrayal perfectly defines! 😭

again, ilyy for sending this in! and sorry for the late reply :(( this was buried in my notifications and i only found it when i dug through it... argh he's very handsome and i love the ftm portrayal of my mc! makes the angst even worse because they only know you through your dead name and that's only if and only if they actually know what your dead name is...

[kaq3yma]

BEEP BEEP! sakura haruka.

syn: it is your first date with him, how did it go? it was alright... but did you expect it to buzz? no.

୨୧ qeena's brief note: elloo, anouncing a (kinda) new theme with a sakura haruka scribble yippieee >w< i know the theme lowk similar to my old one as it still a pink&green theme but hey, can't help the fact im a hardcore soft pink and pale green girlie (•؎ •) i have this idea based off this one tweet meme i saw couple months prior (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) sorrryyy but i can't remember the exact account but i think yall know shskssks anyway, let me know what you guys think about this scribble & the new theme, will appreciate all ur kind words <3 that's all, thank you, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 🍡

. . . imagine you're on a date, on your very, very first date with a guy you're oh-so in love with, Sakura Haruka. The date went smoothly, he pick you up at your meeting spot, Kotoha's diner, and after that you two ate together. You get to browse all over town, trying dishes and stroll around. It's indeed a fun day.

However, the dual-colored hair boy still can't help but shy away to your touch. You don't mind that he don't want to hug, heck, even pecks, but you wish at least he don't mind holding hands, cling your arm around him or even be at a close proximity.

The date turn sour almost drastically when you subconsciously pull his arm out of excitement because you saw a familiar ice cream van stall, one you'd used to buy but he pull his hand away, and instead tucking it in his pocket.

The entire hour after the incident was a confused Sakura (try to) cheer you up but failed miserably and the date happened to end quickly as time flies. Sakura walk you home, taking short strides behind your almost-slouched figure upfront. His face burn in embarrassment and confusion, not knowing how to act, what to do and what to say.

"... I—"

"We're here." The sudden spoke of words cause him to halt his words into half, poor boy is bewildered because he thought he have more time with you until you both arrived at your home, well, you both did arrived quicker than his (pea) brain can comprehend.

"I'll see you tomorrow, good bye—" Someone can ask previous Sakura if he ever expect this Sakura to do something unexpected, so unexpected he shocked both himself and you and he'd say no but yes, it somehow is happening.

He lean down, almost uncharacteristically to close the gap between you two and seal the night with a kiss, short enough yet still manage to pull your breath away.

"I—"

"Beep, beep. Abnormal heart rate detected." His face almost explode into thousands (millions) shades of red.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Lloyd Hansen

Summary: It's your first week on the job and you find yourself having to deal with a very angry higher up.

Warnings: Power imbalance, Yelling. Please let me know if I missed any.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

"For the last time, Hansen, NO! We have these regulations for a reason." Levinson was yet again regretting hiring Lloyd. There's no denying the man got results but were the results worth the cost of dealing with the man? He'll have to get some of his analysts take a look. He doesn't even have to ask and he knows Raymond, his assistant, has made note to ask them.

"It's a bullshit regulation," Lloyd argues. "There's one IT person who can work with me, why the hell wouldn't they be the one to go with me on this trip? You've always been okay with us bringing some tech head in case our company electronics have problems."

"Yes, but that's for experienced tech employees," Jonathan intervenes. "This young lady has been working with us for only a few weeks. She is very skilled, yes, but---"

"And she's the only one of your team that isn't a pompous ass," Lloyd sneers. Ari, Jonathan and Raymond all give him a look. "Yeah, I know I'm a pompous ass. It's why I don't work well with those other assholes."

Ari sighs, "still, we can't have such a new employee going on a trip. You're going to take a more experienced IT member or you will take no one."

Lloyd huffs before stomping out of the CEO's office.

The project for the CFO is taking up a lot of your time but you're grateful for having something to focus on between tickets. Working with people was never your strong suit and those tickets can be draining.

Except for the ones from Hansen, funny enough. While you understand why others don't like to work with him, you're grateful that he leaves you be. He doesn't pester you with questions or offer advice that you have to pretend is good. He doesn't talk about his life's story or complain about "technology these days" that you have to half listen to so as not to appear rude. He lets you work, get in the zone, and you can get the ticket completed without feeling drained afterwards.

He seems like the naturally loud and demanding type so the fact that he's quiet when you work really means something to you. And he always follows it up with praising your work. The nickname "Maestro" seems to have stuck with the rest of the IT crew and it's really helped you feel more like you belong. You're genuinely grateful to Lloyd for that.

Almost as if your thoughts made him manifest, Lloyd enters your cubicle and sets his laptop next to you.

"Hey there, Maestro," Lloyd smiles. "My laptop is acting up. Take a look at it for me, will ya?"

"Um, Mr. Hansen, Sir, did you submit a ticket?"

Lloyd's smile drops. "If I did that, it might not get assigned to you. This way we can work around that requirement and spend some more time together."

"I'm, I'm sorry, Sir," you shake your head. "You have to submit the ticket. It's regulation."

"What the hell is with everyone and these damn regulations?!"

"I could get in trouble, Sir," you explain. "If I fix your laptop without submitting a ticket, that's work time that I can't account for. In other cases, Sir, if something goes wrong with company property, they need to know who was responsible for fixing it. If I fix your laptop but the fix doesn't work, there's a gap in that item's history that could throw off future updates. I really don't want to get in trouble, Mr. Hansen." You look up at him, eyes pleading.

He sighs, "well, can't have a good girl like you getting in trouble on my account, huh?" You try to hide your reaction to being called a good girl but Lloyd gives you a look before grinning at you. "Did you like that?" His voice is low and he brings himself to your level so he's right next to your ear. "Do you like being a good girl?"

"Y-yes, Sir," you confess.

He chuckles, "I'll remember that, Maestro." He grabs his laptop and gives you a wink before sauntering out.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly; @lokislady82

[ckret2]

Hey, what's your policy on nsfw art and/or writing of the goldilocks au? I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I know I'm the type of person who would be psyched if I had an AU that produced that kind of art lol. But I don't want to assume! What kinda boundaries r we looking at?

I try to avoid reblogging any art that'd risk my account being banned or 18+ flagged, but I'd be absolutely thrilled to see it and will fling it at everyone I know on discord. I'm fine with reblogging NSFW art that isn't against the TOS and any sort of NSFW writing, I'd just reblog it with a mature content label to be safe

And what-I'll-reblog questions aside, you're welcome to do anything you want forever

[hawberries]

holy shit, could you share some of your ratios/artis because multiple top percents is nuts and I wanna see the stats

HAHA TY! Unfortunately you've activated my yap card, so I'm really sorry about how the rest of this post is going to go. I do want to admit that it actually isn't that impressive because there's ways to sort of "game" the Akasha leaderboard system, usually by sharing high CV pieces between your characters, overbuilding crit rate and ER or finding specific leaderboards that aren't as competitive, but it still is a fun sort of low-stakes, inconsequential PVP mode that I enjoy! This is my Akasha page. As you can see my Emilie and Kinich are not doing well.

One notable way I've "cheated" is the fact that my Chiori's ranking is on the Jade Cutter leaderboard, but that's not a real place, because my Chiori is on a Wolfs-Fang. I'm thinking of going for her sword next time she reruns, actually, so she may lose her ranking soon. The boards only look at your artifacts and then make their own assumptions, so board ranking is a VERY poor reflection of in-game performance. Another example is for any Childe mains who have him on Nymph's Dream: it's not actually that good of a set for him! The boards overestimate the uptime, but in actual gameplay, especially if you look at International speedruns, the uptime is bad and he often performs better with mixed sets. However, the difference is not likely to be felt in a practical scenario outside of speedruns and high-level play, so it's reasonable to keep him there for the valour, since he's still going to be good enough.

the reason my Mualani is so high even though I am not a Mualani main is because 1) she's so new that everyone is still working on her domain and using placeholder pieces and 2) I hit her with the yassify beam (gave her this absolutely stupid Hydro dmg goblet which is by far the best piece on my entire account). It just gets passed around between all my watery guys depending on whose personal damage I'm depending on the most at the time, but since Mualani is a hypercarry and Ayato and Yelan are more supportive, it makes the most sense to leave it on her. I expect her to drop a lot in the rankings once people have a chance to farm the Codex set more.

I'm very chuffed with my Navia's build because I recently crafted a new feather for her with the artifact transmuter. Feathers are not broadly recommended to craft, but Navia's feather was by far the most obvious weak link on my account – in the sense that not only was it so bad that it would be easy to get an upgrade (it had 4 low rolls of crit damage and NO other useful stats, not even lower-value ones like atk% or ER) but the rest Navia's pieces were good enough that I had no reason to still be actively farming her domain. Anyway, I got quite lucky with the crafted feather, though as you can see it's still easily the weakest of all her pieces. This is enough to tide me over until Nighttime Whispers is in the strongbox :D

I've worked really hard on my Xiao's build – I've strongboxed 364 Vermilion pieces to date – but Xiao, being an older character with dedicated mains, has a very competitive board, so I don't expect to ever get much higher than this. Isn't that feather disgusting, though? I farmed Marechaussee domain a lot but never got a build good enough to replace this one, especially considering I'm on Jade and therefore about to overcap on crit rate just by sneezing. He has 97% crit rate WITH A CDMG HAT, I want to point out! I am considering crafting a circlet for him as his current one is relatively weak, but that's a problem for future Phee to think about, since I'll want to rebalance his build anyway once I get Xianyun – he'll need less ER and less crit rate.

What level of nerd am I about combat stats in the video game Jenshin Intact? I do my own damage calculations to see which pieces are best! That's why Xiao is on an attack goblet instead of an Anemo DMG one 😔

Also… see how my Wanderer is top 2%? I still don't have an EM goblet on the Flower of Paradise Lost set. RNG is really so funny sometimes. Anyway, at the moment I've allotted myself 6 weeks of farming time to try and get Emilie at least a good 2pc 2pc, after which I'll probably go back to making my Kinich not suck!

[itsjaywalkers]

laurie, aside from being a number 1 fan of your fics, i've also read all the fics you bookmarked on your account, and gotta tell you they are all masterpieces, and i want to know if you have any more fic recs, and what your current favorite wips are?

this is so very sweet, thank u darling <3 and it always makes me so excited when ppl ask me for recs and like my taste in stories!!! all my bookmarks are really good if i do say so myself so i'm very glad you've enjoyed all the fics i love + hold close to my heart

hmm i feel like most of my recs are already on my bookmarks but !! current wips that i'm reading and following and that absolutely brighten my day whenever they update are:

hide your fires by @starsworth !! i'm reading it slowly because i wanna take my time and absorb everything properly but i'm . fucking loving it so far, i really can't recommend it enough, it's so insanely good (and i'm in love with kingsley..)

the art of getting off by @just--vi !! such a fun and lovely story, this james has me biting my fist and running laps around my flat. every chapter is like a boost of serotonin

cupid's chokehold by lollipopluna on ao3 !! i've talked about this one before but it's just one of my fav wips rn, i'm fucking obsessed with it and it's so devastating but . in the best way

lovely bitter water by @alarainai !! this fic has made me laugh out loud . several times . most insufferable and embarrassing james potter i've ever read but i love him and i love him dearly. but then again i think i've read every single one of fen's works <3 he never disappoints

get him back by @sixlane !! always ALWAYS thinking about this fic.. this regulus is so special to me and also Peak Denial. it has some of the best tension i've ever read. lane's writing is out of this world

deep the water by @mothbart !! one of my fav james ever.. the amount of happiness this story brings me is INSANE im not ready for the heartbreak that i know it's coming but also . i can't wait .

i'll be home for the summer by @carniferous !! not only one of my favourite current wips but also one of my favourite stories in the whole world. everyone should read it. this jegulus is Everything . to me . i would die for them..

once every few lifetimes by cozypancakes on ao3 !! read it recently and i fucking loved it. saved me during my terrible weekend. it's a triwizard tournament au and the jegulus dynamic in this one has me SCREAMING they're so sweet and so very obsessed with each other

our sun bleeds red by @athymybones !! insane writing insane plot and insane dynamics. it just started and it's already SO GOOD.. i'm always searching for some bartylily and this one caters to all my tastes

and im probably reading more wips but these . are my main ones . i think (hoping i didn't miss any.. i read way too much fanfiction..)

[thebestcrew]

Guys. I don't think anyone is debating on what anti-endo means. Just to clarify that point. The term itself is well understood. Just to make that clear for anyone who's getting confused.

What is being discussed is about nuances and not jumping to conclusions. You don't have to like them, you don't have to agree with them, and you are welcome to keep your boundaries and keep anyone who uses the label at a distance.

I think what everyone is trying to push for is that there are nuances and other reasons someone may use the label. Should a label be used when it doesn't fit 100%? Probably not, but if it does what the person needs it to do, then I'm not going to say they shouldn't use it. Doesn't matter if it is seen as a positive or negative label.

Use anti endo and I'll block you. But I'm not blocking because I think every single person who uses the label or tag is the very same as Astro or other harassers. I'm doing it to lessen my odds of seeing hate AND giving space to people who may not want to interact with me. Which is fine and dandy. I'm not assuming every anti to be the devil who deserves harassment for choosing said label or being blamed for things they haven't done or even agree with.

I know more things have been discussed the past couple days, but this is simple and easy for me to engage with. If you don't like my stance or the people I've been agreeing with on these matters you are welcome to block us, and to make life simple please remember to block @ash-n-dynamite because thats our main account. If you don't want to see us I don't want to see you.

Anyways, to anyone who's been triggered by this syscourse, please PLEASE take a moment to filter tags, step away, get something tasty, hug a pet. People have been hurt by antis and syscourse, there is obvious trauma and trauma responses going around. I don't care why its a trigger, and I dont even care what your stance is, but I do care that you take care of yourself. Please do something healthy and kind for yourself.

[lukedruid80]

MY TWO FRIENDS MANIFESTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WORKED FOR THEM, SO CAN YOU !

First one, she's not even a shifter BUT she does find it interesting and is the most respectful person ever. She tried manifestation for the first time and IT WORKED. My second frienf tried it the first time too, and he's a shifter, it worked out so well for him.

Shifter or manifestation person or both or not, it is prove that ANYONE CAN DO IT. If my two friends who tried it the first time and it worked, SO CAN YOU. YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN ME AND MY TWO FRIENDS.

For me personally, how i manifest and what i told my two friends to do, start off with baby steps. Manifest something small, something that YOU are able to adjust your doubts and your trust on yourself. My friend manifested a croissant, she manifested something SPECIFIC though she didn't get that flavor she wanted, but she managed to get specifically a croissant from the exact same shop. My other friend manifested a book, nothing specific on what genre, what title, what author. No, just a book. And he got one.

Because it is something small and easier to adjust, it's more simple to trust yourself with it. Build up your way to take small baby steps to big steps. My personal goal is to adjust my manifestation to finally be able to adjust my doubts on manifesting shifting.

If you start of with "I'll get a thousand money in my bank account tomorrow" it can work, if you believe. But if you're someone like me who got trust issues in their brain, that something like that seems "unbelievable", try small simple manifestation.

Baby steps: manifest you'll get 1 coin

Second steps: manifest you'll get 10 bucks

Big steps: manifest you'll get 20 bucks

Bigger steps (you're more confident): You'll win a lottery

Manifestation and shifting is seriously all about YOU. YOUR MINDSET. YOUR TRUST. AND YOUR WORTH. You NEED to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Think of it as like those motivational speech people always give where they pull that card "The key to achieving your goal/dream is to believe in yourself." I'm not saying you HAVE to have a good mental health and mindset all the time, but it is really about trusting your mind. You have to believe.

Tip for reassurance: When you have manifested something already and you want to manifest another thing, use your proof "I've manifested (the thing you managed to manifest before) before, I can do it again."

[gojuo]

what Are your thoughts on show aegon trying to escape when he finds out Viserys is dead and they want to make him king? in the books he was with some paramour, no attempt to escape is mentioned.

Though the good septon admits Prince Aegon was with a paramour when he was found, he insists the girl was the daughter of a wealthy trader, and well cared for besides. Moreover, the prince at first refused to be a part of his mother’s plans. “My sister is the heir, not me,” he says in Eustace’s account. “What sort of brother steals his sister’s birthright?” Only when Ser Criston convinced him that the princess must surely execute him and his brothers should she don the crown did Aegon waver. “Whilst any trueborn Targaryen yet lives, no Strong can ever hope to sit the Iron Throne,” Cole said. “Rhaenyra has no choice but to take your heads if she wishes her bastards to rule after her.” It was this, and only this, that persuaded Aegon to accept the crown that the small council was offering him, insists our gentle septon.

Fire and Blood, p. 398.

You see, I don't think portraying Aegon as someone who knew what was coming for him once his father died and running for the hills trying to escape that fate is an inaccurate or uncomplimentary interpretation of this moment at all. It adds a layer of tragedy to both his character and the general situation at hand if he has the understanding that just his mere existence means certain war.

The actual issue with HOTD's version of this passage is what the writers deliberately took out and what they replaced it with. Any time an adaptation removes something that is in the source material, anytime it makes changes to the source material, whether it be an addition or substitution, you have to ask yourself: why? Why would they do this? Why did the writers for HOTD ep. 9 take out the part in this passage where Aegon is convinced by Criston to take up the crown because not only his life, but the lives of his entire family members are in mortal danger if he doesn't and replace it with a line wherein he says he will abandon every single member of his family instead, even his dragon ("Let me find a ship and I'll sail away, never to be found.")?

For what reason was this change made? What does this deliberate change to not just Aegon's motivations to act & his character arc, but Criston's and the entire Green cause as well mean? Well, you don't need me to explain it to you because I have been bitching and moaning and ranting and shouting about this transparantly deliberate change to the canon for over 2 years now, ever since that piece of shit episode 9 aired in 2022. Seriously fuck this show. These writers are so fucking childish, downplaying the Green cause at every turn and taking away everything that was good about Aegon and replacing it with something that makes him look worse than he was in the book (like how in the show they changed the plot so much that he now deliberately abandoned Helaena and Jaehaera for no real reason unlike in the book). I genuinely hate everything about HOTD.

[terriblysims]

Andrés Legacy💟

[kenmaiii]

after two years i finally draw the favorite

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

[disposal-blueeee]

doodles

edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez

scriabin by zarla-s

[umeji-imeji]

✨ Rose-tinted glasses ✨ I wanted to play around with an analogous palette, so here is pink Balam for you all, as the most beautiful demoness hehe (inspired by Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun, chapter 156)

[uncanny-tranny]

I laid out the crochet blanket I'm making for my cat, and she's lying on it even though she can only fit two thirds if her body onto it right now and this is making it all worth it 😭😭😭😭

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

y'all i've been upset about nanowrimo's shenanigans since last year, when kids weren't safe, and now there's this AI shitshow, and i want to cry about it again, because nano has been SO IMPORTANT to me since 2008--it helped me hack my writing process and make a bunch of cool shit, and i've written so many stories i love using it as a jumping off point. but. we gotta protect kids, and we gotta get the fuck out of here with AI bullshit.

so. the decision i have come to is that i will still be participating in nano. but now it stands for "now a's [that's me] novel writing month." i'm still going to write a book in november, and i'm still going to shoot for the 1,667 words/day (even though my finished projects wind up way longer than that, invariably), because i've structured my creative life around this routine, but i won't be using their site any more.

i will also not be tagging my november project posts as nanowrimo, but i WILL still be tagging them as "nano[YEAR]" (because that's been my tagging system for untitled projects for uh. years.). and it's now a's novel writing month :)