#this is old internet culture at this point so im reblogging it

[questioninqthings]

Hi, this is coming from who is a new and casual fan of the train twins. I am not the best with words but this is my take on the blankship thing.

Personally, i see the controversy of blankshipping to be a mix of sanitization of the internet, less experimental/challenging media, a lot of projecting of emotions and personal feelings towards ficitonal characters, and a growing intolerance of fandom culture as a whole. If that makes any sense? Sorry, I will get back to this point once i have a computer in front of me.

as for the ship itself, I'm ambivalent. You could say I'm a proshipper since I'm not immediately opposited to the pair. There's so little canon information regarding these characters that I see them more as blank slates. Of course, I have my own headcanons and thoughts about the submas twins, but whether people use that to make blankship content or not doesn't affect how I feel about the characters as a whole. The only thing i could say is some blankship media can be beautiful and some i would rather burn from my brain.

As for the controversy, i think people should just use the block button and mute words if they dislike it so much. It's not that hard, and most of the time you have to actually search of blankship to see it. Maybe I'm just old and used to seeing weirder/more fucked up stuff on the internet, but if i see something i dont like/triggers me, i block and move on. I have more pressing things to deal with than worry/be affected about who draws/writes/enjoys what content. In this day and age of the digital era, being able to curate your own digital environment is important.

Sorry this is a rambly mess. I will try to respond on the cause of controversy point when im better equipped to write my thoughts out.

That is true that people can block or mute the words, but I assume that this is much more difficult on websites like Twitter, where the algorithm feeds you content from random creators which are often untagged. But yes, this is generally true on Tumblr and some other platforms.

I do see your point. I don't understand why people feel the need to send hatred towards people for creating content outside of the norm, not just Blankshipping.

But this does bring me to another question. Does being neutral or unopposed to Blankshipping classify you a proshipper? (Feel free to reblog or send asks to answer this.)

[low-budget-korra]

Realistic Portraits of The Legend of Korra characters

So i was bored and decided to visit the Artbreeder - you know, the site where some fans are doing those cool realistic portraits of Avatar characters-  and  i decided to do my own Realistis Portraits of some characters from Book 1 of The legend of Korra.

Ps: When i said  that i mix or search for “asian” or “native” when looking for templates im not generalizing those groups of people, it just that when i put those words to look at , appeared more templates than when i put “japanese” or “inuit” per exemple. 

Ps2: Have in mind that it aint that simple as say that FireNation is Japan and Earth Kingdom is China. The world of Avatar is a mix of Asian and Native cultures. And im saying this based on comments ive read about this, comments made by people from that background. And we can see that in the show, for example, we have parts of the Fire Nation - the sun warriors -  that according to Avatar Wiki was inspired by civilizations from ancient pre-Columbian Mesoamerica, including the Aztec, Incan and Mayan.

With all that said, here we go:

Korra: Just as i did with my Resident Evil fancast, when i was making this Korra, i was looking for the “right eyes”. And i also did this when making the others. 

Sadly theres just a few templates when i search for “inuit” to make the mix so i also search for “native“(that have lots of tamplates) and did the mix trying to  respect the people that - as far as i know - was the main inspiration for the Watertribe and also try to make a portrait that has resemblace the character we saw in the show. So basically: inuit + native + my crap  photoshop for the eyes colour and we have Korra.

Asami: For Asami i search for “japanese” since is know in the fandom that the Fire Nation in The Last Airbender is inspired by WWII Japan and i also search for “Asian”, not only for get more templates but also because Republic City is possibly the most miscegenated city in the avatar world, and i think at least half of the population there is a mix between the 3 nations. According to Avatar Wiki,  The lineage of the Sato family can be traced back to the first Fire Nation colonist, so she can have someone from earth kingdom in her background as a granpa or granma and this would explain her green eyes - a characteristic from earth kingdom people. So basically japanese + asian + my crap photoshop for the eyes colour and makeup and we have Asami

Mako: Basically the same i did with Asami but with male templates instead. I also choose to make him more Fire Nation since his brother Bolin is more Earth Kingdom, and both of them are a example of the miscegenation that was happening in Republic City. So basically japanese + asian + my crap photoshop for the eyes

Bolin: The same thing with Asami and Mako but i search for some “chinese” templates since his father is from Ba Sing Se and we know that Ba Sing Se took  tons of inspiration in China. So basically chinese + asian + my crap photoshop for the eyes colour

Lin : No much to say, I was trying to make Asami when i accidentaly made Lin. And i add the scar on photoshop

Tenzin: I tried search for “monks’ and ‘tibetan” but i didnt have much results so i simple just search for “old man” and “asian”. I know, this isnt the best. And i have to try to hide the hair and put Tenzin goatee and the blue arrow on photoshop. The result? Sadly aint that good

Tarrlok and Amon: Basicaly the same work i did with Korra.

with Amon i struggle because in the show we see that his skin tone is lighter- basicaly he could pass as white man - and while during the mixes i try mix with a white man because of that, but the result was bad so i did keep only inuit and native templates

And we are done. 

I know those portraits arent perfect but it was fun to make them

Edit1: one person pointed in a reblog that some anti miscegenation use the word "miscegenation" like if it was bad thing. I don't know if in US or in others countries it is like this but here we Brazil we just used a lot because our country is this mix of people from all over the world, so here is just like another word we use when talk about your people. Anyway, just to clarify because internet is wild and i don't wanna receive some hate calling me something I'm not. Thank you @nymeria-rhoynar for the observation

Edit2: Im really happy that so many people liked ❤️

Edit3: I've saw @ahhhsami and @jellolegos reblogs with their edits(seriously go check it out). I wish I had those photoshop skills. Damn those edits are amazing.

[divinaes-bookofsecrets]

Add something if you'd like?

Whats your thoughts on this upgrade or is it 🤔

Please share your personal experience too, to show off 😏 jk

🌟 Comment comment comment REBLOG!!! PLEASE please 🙏 im curio

Techno Witch

Filed under: Pagan Life, Spells & Potions — Leave a comment

I work with technology a lot, including virtual reality, and it made me wonder what or how it could pose as some good use for magick and witchcraft.

At the start of being Pagan, many things I did were very offline. I read physical books, went to physical locations such as the library and metaphysical shop, wrote in my physical B.O.S., things like that. If anything, I preferred it that way, things were very much in reach and given the history of magick is very much more so on paper than in bytes, it made better sense to me.

But eventually, technology got better and easier. More and more resources were online, and reliable resources at that. Granted, there is still a lot of bunk and dribble on the internet. Why people like to pick up spells from random corners of the internet is beyond me. If they are easy to get and plain out there for the world to see and, even worse, come with a price tag, it is probably fake. Some witches do indeed do paid spellwork/pay for pray but not to the excessive number that exists on the internet. More on that later, but basically, tech made witchy info collecting easier. It has probably been a while since I have penned in my B.O.S. but, if anything, I have more of a Disk of Shadows (D.O.S.) now. I have particular tumblrs and tags that I follow or curate on my own that are informative and helpful to my works and endeavors. They’re sometimes really hard to find, and sometimes they are not (if you know what to look for). There are more digital groups for Black Pagans and other minorities/poc now than when I started over a decade ago. Due to the internet, there is better access to much better information about non-European cultures that is not filtered through the perspective of a random White academic slathering on a layer of their own personal bias to the details and calling it “correct, accurate and objective information”. People can do their own research and not be blocked by institutions or paywalls.

But there’s still a lot of bunk on the internet. Due to the pop culture sensation of “witchiness” (basically think of anything American Horror Story, The Craft and the Sabrina reboot has pumped out, add some culture-vulturing via “I am a bruerja” and you got it), it makes decent info still rather hard to find. Since books and old texts that may or may not be translated well or correctly are not that popular, it is easier to find people who, frankly, don’t really know much of what they are doing, they just really like sage, cultural appropriation, gothic clothing and perhaps nursing a drug habit. They’re all over Instagram with their filter-laden pictures, offering to cast spells and do divination (usually tarot, because, what else are they going to learn? Cartomancy? Numerology? I Ching? Elective Astrology? Not as popular) but don’t seem to really know much about ethics and the other boring stuff of learning actual, proper witchcraft. It’s easy to blame just about everything on Mercury retrogrades but if that person has never heard of an ephemera before, they probably are also dead wrong about anything retrograde as well. Spells are cool and mysterious (not really), reading and research is … well, how many pop culture witch characters have you seen buzzing around countless books going “I thiiiiiiiiink this is definitely super old school Congolese – liiiiike, way, way, before colonialization. And of course, it’s a half-page passage in an out-of-print book and features a next-to-dead language. So we should either pick a different spell, or start bothering really old people who may or may not remember such a language – assuming the invading White folks did not torch or steal their cultural history – oh wait, it’s sitting in the British museum, with an incorrect placard and everything. Great, now may we have to talk to stuck up, myopic, well-dressed thieves that think they’re not stuck up, narcissistically stupid, or sticky fingered because ‘I have a degree and institutional prejudice is on my side’. You know what? Killmonger had some good ideas. Someone grab some coffee, that is probably the easier option”? Outside of Hermione Granger, not really anyone in witchy pop culture is very “research is good, research is great, research keeps random entities you summoned and can’t get rid of out of your home and life.” So it can make good info hard to break through the ether. Nothing is wrong with liking pop culture depictions of magic – I get a kick out of Doom Patrol’s magnificent depiction of chaos magick – but it is a bit of a problem when people try to base their practice on movie magic. Yes, psionics is real, yes, magic is real but no, it doesn’t look exactly like the tv and movies. If anything, they can be a lot more stressful and annoying.

I think being a technology-based witch, for me, is simply involving technology in your practice. I have thought of the idea of making a virtual space for spellwork and personal practice but then I think about my track record with magick, energy movement and electrical items. VR systems are pricy and I have made electrical items go ka-put. And, again, VR systems are pricy. But others could benefit, especially those who may not have the space or safety to comfortably practice in the real world. You can make whatever you want in the virtual world and it can be your own spot. A digital altar, a digital casting circle, the list goes on and on.

At first, I wasn’t too sure of these things because, well, they are new. No one was using computers for such practices – or any practices – centuries ago. But all technology, no matter how rudimentary, was considered new at one point. All creations were considered new at one point. From the typewriter, to the wheel, to fire itself. Certainly the deities can be understanding of some of these changes. As long as the changes are relatively seamless, especially for some deities. For example, some sun gods probably would not be too keen on the use of cell phone flashlights vs. actual natural light sources, like a flame made from the sun’s rays. I imagine working with water deities would be stress-inducing unless you are very confident in the IP rating of your technology and trickster deities + internet is probably literal trouble if you do not know what you are doing.

Has all my practices gone digital? I don’t think so but I do think a vast majority of it has. It has been the easier option for me but I always bear in mind that it is good to at least have back ups and that not everything worthwhile is on a computer. There is still always going to be a need for physical things. Links die, computers break and sometime technology can over-complicate simple processes. That and not everything is on the internet, not everything has been digitized and some things are simply harder to find digitally because the metadata is not up to snuff or it is plain incorrect. Thus it is good to find a decent balance, even if that balance is majority tech with analog supports.

Source:

Source:

[l0chn3ss]

l0chn3ss update

I feel like the last time I ever really active on tumblr was in the year 2016, so i want to address my absence between 2017-2020. Part of it is because I feel like I owe it to my friends and mutuals who I just basically left on read and another part is because I’ve always treated this blog as a personal blog that documents my life and my growth. I put off writing this for a long time but now that I have a huge paper due, now is definitely the time.

You are welcome to skip but I will address a few hard hitting questions I feel should be answered, especially since I feel like I departed like an anti-hero of a bad tv show.

Where I am currently: I am in grad school to obtain a master’s in library and information science. I have a full time job at different middle school libraries, though I work from home now. I also tutor kids on the side to pay for my tuition because I basically make minimum wage. Quarantine messed with my head at first, but now I’m feeling much better and I’m trying to reconnect with friends and close a lot of loose ends.

TLDR: I took an extended break because tumblr mobile sucks and my laptop needed serious repairs. I made a huge migration away from social media in 2018. I prioritized my education and in-person connections, which fell to shit because of my fandom involvement in the past. I did not like the direction of the main fandom I participated in and knew that many of the people I once respected did not respect me in return/ Us versus them mentality. I recognized that I treated my life on tumblr too seriously and took petty drama personally. I am sporadically on tumblr now because I genuinely enjoy the social connection and because I still like running fandom events.

Yes, you can reblog this. I’d love for this narrative to be heard.

Long version: To preface this, this post is being written to give myself closure and because I really am procrastinating on my final big paper of this semester. I’ll be tackling on the points in the tldr in a longer narrative that will appear to be in an expository fashion, which I recognize will be a source of contention, but my intentions are to throw it onto the table so that I can be freed. I can let it go and move on. I’m no longer a 20 years old who cared too much of what other people think and will think; I think differing perspectives are important and I want to give myself a chance to say my piece. That and I recognize that I lost the audience that I once had, so I doubt this will be an issue at all. It’s been 4 or what ever years, let’s just not.

Back in 2015-2016 there was a huge back and forth between three groups of people in the SE fandom. The reason why I’m not listing out the name is because I don’t want this to show up in the tags. I’d say that the three groups could be seen as quite literally the soma shippers (mostly white, demi sexual girls), lgbt centric bloggers (very kid or star oriented, very fed up with soma), and the people who were deemed as alright to soma shippers (c r ona, ste inm arie, jac k im centric people). There was a constant (and understandable) tension between the first two groups while the third was like the weird cousin that everyone in the social circles liked because they sprinkled in soma for the masses. Don’t argue with me on this-- this was literally how the fandom was in 2015 and you know it.

The main issue was that one group felt that they were being inclusive towards identities and sexualities while the other felt that they were not. I remember that one of the arguments was that soma WAS an LGBT ship because people headcanonned the members to be demisexual. However, the other side of the argument was that it wasn’t good representation of a gay pairing. Now that we can look back at this 5 years later, I have two things to say: 1, I now very much understand why the argument broke out because of how heated the topic is, and I do believe that I lean more towards the “other side” now that I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses, but 2, I need to make it clear that demi people are lgbt, but a headcanon is not fact and ship diversity was the main question at hand, not the ship itself. This argument lasted for weeks, destroyed my friendships, and no matter what I felt I did in the moment (which was to mend the fandom), it was taken as an insult.

(Side note: Somethings that I remember was being in someone’s DM’s to encourage them to participate in the large fandom events more, but once they twisted my intentions and rallied their friends, I became their enemy. I also became the mods’ enemy but then again, when was I not? I was made fun of for saying “queergender,” a term that is now currently being widely used, quite openly by someone I wanted desperately to be friends with. I was outwardly mocked by popular users who only apologized behind closed doors but didn’t bother to clear things up with their followers. Adults who were in their 30s quite literally attacked a 19 year old. It was in that moment that I realized I would never become friends with either side, and not because I didn’t want to.)

I bring this up because as I begun to stop writing soma fics, I also begun to see and understand why people moved away from it. It wasn’t the ship itself, it was the culture surrounding it. However, on tumblr we have the ability to connect intensely with the content we produce. Therefore, the ship itself began to be connected with the shippers and their attitudes towards outside pairings-- that attitude being tied into elitism.

I say this with every ounce of love I can because I once had the exact same mannerism. When you become so tied into one pairing to the point where other ships appear to threaten the existence of it and you react negatively towards it, you become rancid. The popular tag “everything is soma” takes a very dark turn. Even if readers consume another pairing’s work, they will be obliged to say “I ship soma more BUT that was cute.” They will read an entirely different topic and wonder why soma wasn’t inserted into it in the background. They will reject pairings that separate the two as if breaking them up is sin and an insult.

The only reason why I stopped writing my soma fics in 2016 was because I saw a real need to fill in the gaps of other pairings. I took what people were saying to heart and I wanted to change my ways and my perceptions. I saw the animosity of the ship culture and rejected it. I wanted to use what little influence I had to make the fandom just a bit more accepting. In 2016, I don’t think the fandom was ready for it. In 2017, they still weren’t ready for it. In 2020, I see hope, but I wonder sometimes if it’s masqueraded pity because of previous treatment.

In the middle of it all, I went from being the soma angst master to becoming the weird person everyone once knew. I was the friend that people excluded from group chats and I just “wasn’t the same.” Cliques grew extremely large in power in 2017 and exclusion hurt like a bitch.

The straw that broke the camel’s back and completely shut me down was in 2017 when I was graduating as a bachelor. There was a fandom event that I decided to go all in to. For context, there used to be a huge debate on how many times a person should enter in an event, but in my mind, the more exposure the better. My graduation and the event took place at the exact same time, which was cool, but what hurt me was what happened after.

I was lucky enough to be accepted into field school (when you travel to do outdoor excavating) for my major. I’m an anthropologist-- it was an honor. I didn’t plan in advance for it, and if anything, I thought that I would be committed completely to the events and my 5 or what ever entries at the time. I’ve always prided myself in communicating with others, so I made sure to let my partners in the event know what was going on. I was so excited to be going on my first ever excavation and no one at the time said anything otherwise, in fact, they all seemed incredibly supportive. 

What I didn’t know was that I would be called out by name in the event feedback response by one person who felt that I didn’t take the event seriously enough and that I should’ve prioritized my time accordingly. Two of the mods let me know because it referred to me directly, though the name of the submitter was not included. It was not only a slap in the face, but a dumbfound moment that reminded me that wow, fandom content really is someone’s life out there. My enforced silence because of lack of internet in the woods actually upset someone and made them believe that I wronged them, because I put my real life ambitions first before a fandom event.

It was then when I woke up and I remember very clearly thinking to myself: I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to treat my fandom life seriously. I want to participate in fandom for fun, not out of duty. I don’t want to prioritize this life because in the end, if I am hated for putting my work and education first, then I don’t want it.

(For context, I suspect that it was the same person who made a 200 note call out on me during the fandom tension. I respected this person immensely, but I also treated them like the flawed person I believe everyone is. I’m sure because of this, I’m pretty much trash in their eyes, which is totally fine. They have really cute cats so they can’t be all too bad. Don’t look into it too deeply.)

Once my month long field school was up, I was already used to not being on the internet or any of my social media accounts. I didn’t play my mobile games for a month. I didn’t read the news for a month. It was like going cold turkey on the internet, which reshaped my habits entirely. The only time that I had online within that time span was during the weekend, but I spent my time working on my projects and catching up with friends instead of being on apps.

I was also completely fed up with tumblr’s mobile app at the time, so one by one, I deleted my apps. Good bye to tumblr, snapchat, what little I used of instagram, twitter, everything. The only thing I kept was facebook, which was because it is the main platform that I use to message my boyfriend. That meant that any friends I retained from the fandom (who I still contact now) were also friends who had the chance to add me on facebook.

This was the cause of my 2 or 3 year hiatus on tumblr, and therefore the fandom. I occasionally checked back every 6 months to do a few fandom events, but I have several unopened messages and notifications that I haven’t been able to get to. I open my instagram for a few days once a year, and I only go onto twitter if my friends tell me (through facebook) that they dm’d me a post there.

When I left my online persona behind, I quickly strengthened my in person connections. New drama that erupted every other day became replaced with starbucks and boba runs. Reality TV shows replaced fanfiction. Text messages replaced the tumblr activity feed (which still doesn’t work on mobile BTW). I study at cafes unironically with friends instead of typing alone in my room. Overall, it opened my world considerably.

I still like making fun of myself and I try not to take myself seriously. I still make self depreciative memes to send to friends but then double up with kermit heart pics. I’m still a plot bunny, I still write my fics, I still watch my anime, I still play video games, I still sleep at 4am, I still take my depression medication, I still love potatoes, I still use my voice for people who can’t find theirs yet. But I think I’m in a much healthier mindset now, even if I still make stupid shifty posts calling out bad behavior.

Nowadays, I’m working on my Master’s degree in secret. My parents don’t know about it because my mom doesn’t like that I want to go out and do unladylike things like getting an education. I tutor kiddos and I’m really good with younger children, but I’m not going to do anything with kids because I just don’t want to. Instead, I want to work at an archive or a museum to bring my library interests and my anthropology background together. If I had my dream job, I would be a marine archaeologist; however I love my boyfriend of 8 years whom you probably all remember and I really came to terms with my grandeur dreams. I’m extremely happy with living in a small town with loved ones now, and I don’t need to move somewhere far away from my parents to be content. It’s a huge realization.

From 2018 to 2020 I got into actual drama in person while I was job hunting. Adult people suck and honestly it’s kind of embarrassing how ill equipped some people are. Even so, I currently work in middle schools as a media assistant. One of those realms is the library, and honestly it’s like fulfilling a prophecy. As much as I love the social aspect, public schools are an absolute train wreck.

I’m going to wrap this up now. This post is meant to help me close the past and move forward because the fandom culture feels different now. Things from several years ago don’t need to resurface. I want to enjoy my life fully, and fandom life is one of those aspects that I truly did enjoy. I’m going to keep using my voice and act like a fool, but I’m also not going to be losing sleep because of this. People are going to talk about you no matter what, whether positively or negatively, and it’s important to not take it personally.

Idk, go enjoy yourselves. Do things for yourself. It’s more fun that way.

[jovishark]

What tags did you even look in to find antihomestar? I just found out about him like a day or two ago

i always like to go through the blogs that reblog my art and i stumbled upon reblogs from other people

i was old enough to read fanfiction by havoc-creations and interact with the authors during their other works and i promise im not just saying all of this because im sentimental and old, im saying that making fun of a ten year old fanfiction is kind of silly? like. we laugh at it still to this day because i think even the authors would agree that some of it is very 2010-esque and also not at all how theyd represent themselves now but. thats what fanworks Are

they represent who you were and your thought process at the time, and the way that things in your life effect your writing yknow? so comparing fanworks from literally ten years in the future directly waters down the impact that the old stuff used to have. opposites attract/oa 20x6 were very obviously a passion project from two friends who felt like writing together. there wasnt a ton of influence from people other than their niche fans. there were other homestar fanworks on like ffnet and da at the time but none of them were as Long or all-encompassing as oa, and none of them really explored the kind of fiction oa did. there was alternate universe travel, time travel, casino shenanigans, Murder, dinosaurs. i think strong bad definitely killed someone in self defense at least twice. dragons for sure. 

(the plot, because we arent willing to reupload the fic, is that homestar and strong bad steal alternate universe traveling equipment from homeschool winner and end up humanized in the real world. there was a fanfiction before this called real world runner, where homestar does the same thing and meets a person named alex and also the brothers chaps, and has to get back to the website before it falls apart without him. that branches into oa because alex’s apartment is the home base for all of the characters that come through to look for hr/sb to help save the website a second time. they have to navigate real world events in atlanta georgia while also having to figure out how to get back to their reality, and figure out feelings for each other along the way which of course they do. long story short universe travel is an ever moving target and they meet opposite versions of themselves. i mean Way opposite. antihomestar kills people, including the king of town, and i think antimarzipan eats puppies. antistrong bad wears oven mitts instead of boxing gloves. you get the picture. strong bad is caught between antihomestars edgy pushiness and homestars puppy dog eyes. at some point they go to the middle ages. its a whole mess and basically in trying to put everything back together they make a million more mistakes, and homeschool winner cant fix all of them. its my favorite work of all time)

what im trying to say is that the work represented the authors interests at the time (star trek, dinosaurs, boys kissing and being tsundere about it, very dramatic improbable things, etc) and you could see that it was a Creative work by very creative people. so calling aspects of it uninspired or not creative is a very big slap in the face of something that was pretty shockingly original for its time. i know it sounds ridiculous in the context of 2020, but does it? i saw people yesterday assigning gay culture terms to the rats from animaniacs. everything is just as silly as it was in the entire scope of fanworks. 

antihomestar, a character that did not exist before like 2009, was pervasive enough to make it into the real life, actual fan costumes videos from homestarrunner.com. someone cosplayed him and sent it into the brothers chaps, who included it in their photo slideshow with no comment. not to say that giving him black pants, a black star, and blades instead of a propeller isnt Very edgy on purpose, but maybe that was the point? hes Anti homestar. homestar runner, a character who does many things on accident and falls into things as they happen to him, might just wear a propeller hat without a second thought. to be an Anti version, antihomestar would have to do things in a calculated way, on purpose, to achieve results. which he does, as evidenced by him trying to steal universe travel equipment for very on-purpose power reasons. i dont know if their thoughts into him went that deep but id like to think they did.  to take a character as vague and for-the-punchline as homestar runner and subvert him, to turn his traits inside out and think of what that person might do if given an opportunity? thats Very creative to me. but then again, i read this fanfiction like every day for years and years until it was deleted from the internet, so maybe these things are more obvious to me because i have the context?

my point is. giving an Unfounded critique based on a thing you have only seen once or twice is just as silly as saying ‘what if homestar runner wore black pants and licked knives for fun’. but one of those things is more enjoyable to look at.

(he also had black straight hair and piercings, because IT WAS 2010 ON LIVEJOURNAL. of course hes going to look like that. he wasnt just made for the aesthetic, he had plot reasons and character development and everything and i just want everyone to know that.)

[fictionkinfessions]

hey can i ask what happened with the other blog?? like,, i went to go check it and this and im just Very Confused ngl (its ok if you dont wanna answer!! i was just wondering 'cause it felt kinda out of the blue)

Ok so basically this is the timeline that I remember. This is long, sorry for mobile users :v There’s a summary at the bottom.

It was a sideblog. There were three members: me, mod maude, and @/kuroocrow who I don’t personally know and I’m not sure why they were a member. I don’t know if they were ever a public mod or if someone else added them. That’s why I’ll just say the url and not the mod name. There was also Mod Vagabond and a few other mods [Mod Papyrus?? Or Mod Sans? I think?] but they had left a long time ago.

Me, Mod Maude, and Mod Vagabond were doing all the work and then Mod Maude stopped helping with the confession blog around or after Mod Vagabond left the blog. I was left doing all the tagging and reblogging things. I sent @/kuroocrow some messages asking them to help me out and they basically blocked my main blog. I figured since I was a temp mod and the blog really belonged to Mod Maude, I just kept going on my own. I don’t know why, really, I figured it wouldn’t be proper to invite other people to be admins/mods since it wasn’t my blog, and I thought Mod Maude would come back eventually. I’ve been friends with them for a while and I know they’ve been having a difficult time irl. But that’s not my place to share those things.

Anyways, after a while I noticed some messages were randomly vanishing from the inbox and queue. It wasn’t due to a blacklist hiding things and even when I resent them, they were still vanish.Also, other people noticed as well, like this anon: https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/private/190655459474/tumblr_B6kjIK0k80F7wf0Ds

I don’t agree with how @/kuroocrow was behaving and it creeped me out to some minor degree. I also think it’s lousy on their part because they were doing it in secret, and because most of the secretly deleted confessions were either harmless or uncalled for. What’s the point of a confession blog if you’re treating it with such a bias? I’d ask them but I can’t so, so that’s that.

 There’s some confessions I don’t agree with, but post anyways because I think the purpose of a confession blog is to have a place to share things. Anyone can make a secret, password protected sideblog and make personal posts. Part of the appeal of confession blogs is the audience. You can say something personal to you, and not be alone. Does that make sense?

Here’s the last confession they deleted:Anonymous said:okay im not sure if i kin anybody from bojack yet but i wanna tell every diane kin thank you so much for your explanation how pop culture can normalize all kinds of topics! i know its small, but i gave a presentation (my fun senior one that determines if i graduate) on that topic and used your explanation to explain normalization as its the main one that got directly to my point and how i learned about it! i actually got a great grade on it too! thank you again @ all the dianes out there!

I don’t understand how this had broken the previous blog’s rules or why it would have been deleted in the first place. In any case, it doesn’t really matter anymore. I am sorry I didn’t do this sooner. I don’t know how many confessions simply weren’t posted, or worse, if anonymous people were IP blocked. [I don’t know if any one was actually IP blocked, that only occurred to me just now. I wouldn’t think so though.]

So because of this weirdness, I asked Mod Lemon Time who’s a friend of mine to set up a new sideblog and gave them my tumblr password to transfer over the url when it was ready. They even drafted up all the old confessions from the previous blog with the tags I wrote! Thank you so much for that! Absolutely amazing! It was a very smooth transition and I’m glad the url didn’t get nabbed during the blog switch.

I think that’s about it. I am really sorry if you had a confession randomly deleted. That’s not cool. I can’t say for sure if a confession was deleted. Sometimes tumblr doesn’t send those email notifications. This changing blogs thing was the last resort and I didn’t really know what else to do to fix this. Maybe this was overkill. Maybe I cared too much about a tumblr blog but hindsight is for chumps and I’m forging full speed ahead in thie wagon!! If and when Mod Maude ever comes back I’ll have to apologize to them a lot too, but I hope what I did was understandable. They put in a lot of time and effort with making this blog in the first place.

Also, I think this goes without saying, but please don’t harass @/kuroocrow over this. It’s not necessary or anything. It’s just a confession blog on the internets and not like money fundraising scams or whatever. Like seriously illegal things, you know? It’s done with and to me that chapter is complete.

In summary: many confessions were randomly being deleted by a third member on the blog. I wasn’t comfortable with that or with a total stranger acting subversively as a blog admin. I thought restarting the blog was a fair solution to all that. Mod Lemon Time is a friend of mine who made this new blog and is a temporary mod / member.

Mod Party Cat!

[olderthannetfic]

hi! i've really been enjoying ur blog since i found it a day or so ago. i was wondering if you have any tips for getting started in dreamwidth fandom? it seems to be where a lot of interesting meta and fannish blogging happens, but i'm totally lost trying to figure out how to use it for anything besides closed RPs (the first context i used it in).

The key to DW is making a connection with people. Usually, people are interested in a poster who writes meaty meta posts in their own journal or who leaves really interesting comments on posts. Having that kind of presence where people have a sense of your personality and views is also how you get people to let you into their locked posts.

People also post resources/roundups/links, but it tends to be in a more organized, curated way than tumblr--more newsletter or wiki-style, less endless stream of gorgeous reblogged photos.

Here’s an example of a resource post.

Here’s an example of a meta post (also on tumblr, and the DW one only allows comments if the person follows you on DW)

Communities are a way to find more people. They can be about all kinds of topics:

due south newsletter

support com for people working on Guardian fanworks

Everything about HIStory 3: Trapped

The biggest difference I see from Tumblr is two things:

1. The balance of visuals to text

DW does allow visuals, and there are even whole coms that just post a pretty picture per day. But unless you run said com yourself, images probably aren’t the way to make friends and meet people on DW. Commentary is. Words are.

DW also tends to be more into either screencaps or art you did yourself and more sensitive than tumblr/pinterest/the rest of the internet about art theft.

2. Lurkers who?

On DW, there’s more of a sense that each account is a person who you might or might not decide to get to know. There’s less of a sense that it’s probably someone’s side blog where they just reblog pictures of trees.

How people typically meet each other on DW is that someone posts something interesting. Person 2 leaves a comment with their thoughts. A comment thread starts, and both return to it repeatedly to continue the conversation.

A meta post on DW is absolutely an invitation to interact.

If it ain’t locked, you’re supposed to comment. None of this tumblr thing where the “respectful” approach is to reblog with a tag like “#wow I never thought of that” and not actually say anything. Gah!

You can certainly make signal boost DW posts pointing to where discussion is going on, but it’s hard to get known just by curating unless you’re really formal about it. On tumblr, people can get really famous just for reblogging a good set of content. On DW and on LJ back in the day, you kind of could, but usually only if you were very single-topic and it was the thing everyone was obsessed with.

There’s very much a quality over quantity approach in journal fandom, and all the more so now when it has slowed way down and mostly contains the die-hards whom tumblr didn’t work for.

This is also, incidentally, why some oldschool LJ types now find DW too tiring: you have to be able to put in significant social energy to be a member of the community. That’s because you’re forming actual social connections, and those always take time, online or off. If your RL is in a state where you just need to look at some pretty pictures of MCU and some pretty pictures of nature and not backread your tumblr dashboard, DW can start feeling like an obligation.

So I guess my advice is to figure out if any fandoms you like are active on DW and join those coms/follow those people. If you have any Big Meta Thoughts, post those in your own journal and respond to comments if you get them.

IME, it’s fine to leave comments on hugely old posts. Just be aware that if it’s 10 years old, they may not agree with their own meta point anymore.

Most people do get notifications of comments, and those notifications actually work, unlike tumblr’s hot mess, so even if I’m on tumblr 90% of the time lately, I absolutely will see and eventually respond when someone finds my old DW posts.

Yo, friends, what do you think about cultural differences between journaling fandom and tumblr?

How would you get started on DW today?

[punkcherries]

get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

[commodore-64]

sdsfgfhcj,h

I got tagged by @swoko to answer some questions about my blog!

1. Why did you choose your url? I’ve gone through quite a few URLs since 2011 but I stuck with this one since I’m very fond of the 80s home computer of the same name

2. Any side blogs? Yes lmfao, I had a couple of gimmick accounts I really wanted to take off but they never did and none of them exist anymore

3. How long have you been on tumblr? 2011!

4. Do you have a queue tag? I... don’t really queue stuff all that much, so no

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? Funny internet website that was full of all the fandom and online culture stuff I was into at the time

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? It’s a spoof of those generic hacker stock photos lol. I took it in 2017 so it’s honestly kinda old already and I wanna remake it at some point

7. Why did you choose your header? My toxic trait is never having grown out of liking NGE and that frame in particular is one of the best shots in the entire show. It’s so raw.

8. What’s your post with the most notes? That one (honestly really bad) Persona 4 shitpost that blew up for some reason

9. How many mutuals do you have? I’d guess like 50? If we’re talking about just active ones it’s probably closer to 15 or 25... Tumblr unfortunately doesn’t really have a good way to check short of manually clicking through my following list lol

10. How many followers do you have? 786 but between inactive ones and porn/spam blogs (which still exist... how’d that porn ban work out for you tumblr) the number probably goes down to like 100 or so.

11. How many people do you follow? 648! Although I should probably go through that list and unfollow a bunch of inactive accounts at some point to get a more realistic number...

12. Have you ever made a shit post? many

13. How often do you use tumblr a day? I check in and actually use the site every couple of days or so. I have the app on my phone tho so I’ll get notifications for messages and stuff.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? uhhhhh probably lol. nothing major tho

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts? if a post is trying to guilt trip me im not engaging with it

16/17. Do you like tag/ask games? i do! I rarely actually post stuff myself instead of just reblogging so it’s nice having an incentive to do that every once in a while lol 

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I don’t think any of them are really? A few of them were involved in some Big Posts and other shenanigans (remember that time where dashboard glitches would pop up like every couple of days) but at this point i’m not sure of “tumblr famous” means anything anymore lmao. I don’t wanna say the site is dead bc it very much isn’t but it’s, at least in my bubble, kinda moved on from that tumblr funnyman cult of personality kinda thing which is a very good thing imo.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? yeah the one im dating lol hi @masklayer

hey @sunnykeel @pretentiouskitten @burdbrainz and anyone else who wants to do this what’s popping

[hotpinkcupcakepajamas]

oh hey i didn’t see that the op reblogged that post being even more critical of me, so let’s update my reply to that

“this 20 year old loser when i call them a creep for writing nsfw fanfic about Real People:  oh mmy god im havign a panic aattauck pwease doont be mean to meo sjws

like instead of This how about you… Stop writing fanfic about real people… its not hard………… just dont do it… its creepy as hell“

i have anxiety. i tend to get panic attacks. it’s a thing. also, your cherry picking isn’t cute. you very clearly took my confusion about not being able to reply to your post (i’m a dumbass and don’t know tumblr’s system, so i thought i wouldn’t be able to see your blog at all, which isn’t the case) and put that in the same category as me panicking? dude, i was just confused. also, you know FULL well that before that panic post came that anon in my inbox telling me NOT to worry about stuff, which you also conveniently cut and put out of context

i didn’t call you a sjw, i called MYSELF that. and the anon called you that, but i hardly think that that’s on me. i really don’t think that not wanting to be dragged into discourse that i had absolutely no desire to start in the first place makes me an uwu special snowflake or whatever you’re trying to get across, here

also. i DID stop writing. over two years ago. i made an entire post about that, and you also know that full well, because you clearly cut the dates off of those fics that you screenshot. the last one was updated in august of 2016. i think that i’ve grown since then, and i hope that most people have

also, to the person who said that this is fetishization, i’m inclined to agree with you on a lot of your points! however, i think that that issue (yellow fever and all of that) would be way truer if i only wrote stuff like that about korean/asian people. i don’t write much of it at all, and kpop’s been my biggest fandom lately (since i’ve been 18), so it definitely looks like i’m leaning towards it. however, my first e-rated fic was *cringe* homestuck, and i’ve done a lot of rps off of my ao3 where i’m not playing korean characters, not to mention my own, original writing. as it stands, i think that if a person who does write for people who are not asian refused to write for people who are, then that would be a completely separate problem.

i’m trying really hard to incorporate people of other backgrounds into my own writing, and understanding other cultures, included but not limited to korean (i’m not talking about kpop here, i’ve been taking language classes for 3 years), really helps me expand that. i’m not saying that that has anything directly to do with the writings that you’re criticizing, just that i don’t think that writing porn about asian people is really a crime in and of itself, given the explanations and understandings listed above. idk if you’ve blocked me or not, because i haven’t been on your blog, but i hope that that clears some stuff up! if you have any other questions/critiques, feel free to hit me up, because i’m absolutely fine with a discussion about it

honestly, i’d like to thank everyone who HAS come into my inbox again for being respectful. the only person that i’m irritated with in this discourse is op, because they really just seem to be cherry picking what they see on my blog for the sole purpose of calling me out/making me seem like a horrible person. i know that i have plenty of things that i have to work on in myself, and that i’m nowhere near perfect, but i sure would like to think that i’m not as horrible as they make me out to be, and i really don’t think that just blocking and mocking me on the internet is going to solve anything, here