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kithtaehyung · 9 months

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hi, ryen! i just saw it was 3tan anniversary and tho i’m late i wanted to leave a little message too!

i’ve said it about a hundred times already, but three tangerines is so special to me. this world you’ve created and to which you dedicate so much of your time and heart has become nothing short of comfort to me. reading your words, regardless of how angsty they often can be, feels like a hug. from yoongi slowly coming down to vulnerability, to reader slowly opening up to change and affection – these are the characters whose struggles i’ve followed hand in hand, by your side!

i know i’ve been absent and i’ve missed this community a lot (saw there’s a discord happening too, and imma apply to it asap!!), but i’ve never left, cus three tan is always with me. it’s with me when i take some time to breath and remember that i deserve to be loved, when i speak myself despite being afraid of how i’ll be perceived, when i watch fireworks or simply when i remember a dialogue, a scene, and i smile. you’ve achieved something so beautiful and so especial and i hope you know that.

you KNOW how much this series means to me, how much it has changed me. your talent, your skill, your creativity and your vision has lead us all to breath together with these characters, to feel their pain but also, and most importantly, to grow with them, and i lowkey hope this journey never ends – and i know that, even when the last chapter comes (LONG IN THE FUTURE!!), this will stay forever. three tan will have as many birthdays as its readers.

i also saw that you’ve been through some stuff lately, and i hope you’re feeling better. i hope this community can inspire some well deserved peace in you and you can have a tranquil day!

oh and i know im slacking but i’ve read busted!! i’ve been very busy with a research project so writing a review became kinda impossible, but i’ve loved it (i wont comment much here cus this message already long af and i prefer to write decent reviews lol).

anyway, thank you. really. thank you so much for this.

LUAAAA it's been ages since you sent this but i told myself i would sit down and reply to you today bc it's been way too long sitting in the drafts. gonna put this under a cut bc there's a lot i wanna say and cry about :')))

thank you. like. first of all, thank you for everything. you've been such a wonderful part of this journey, and i honestly still don't know what i did to deserve this level of love. i legitimately cried when i got this message all those days ago, because ngl it was sent during a rough time. you have no idea how much i needed this, and i truly cannot thank you enough for basically saving my writing motivation bc it felt like i was one foot out the door with everything that was going on at the time. this was something i didn't tell y'all, but it's true.

this world is special to me, as well, and all of you are part of that. thinking of you all every single day alongside these characters has just become part of my life. and it's gonna continue to be this way for a very, very long time. we've been living lives with them - growing, changing, improving - and that is wonderful to witness.

everything you've mentioned about when you think of them? same. i just saw fireworks yesterday, and i thought of that balcony. and everything that has happened since that night fireworks was posted. as we approach the new year, you best believe i will be thinking about all of you once again.

i’ve written reviews that aren’t nearly enough to express my love to your and your work. i’ve cried, i’ve laughed and i’ve kicked my feet. 3tan yoongi, very much like real life yoongi, is a safe space for me and many others, and he was written by your hand. by your care with your characters, by your preoccupation with always giving us the best, by your moments of pause and ponder and by your incredible talent. every lil hiatus, every interaction, every thirst days in the side blog, every ask game, every teaser you’ve posted, are all pieces of the beautiful now two-year-old mosaic of three tangerines, and it’s been an honor to be part of this journey, even if i’m a lil away. you KNOW how much this series means to me, how much it has changed me. your talent, your skill, your creativity and your vision has lead us all to breath together with these characters, to feel their pain but also, and most importantly, to grow with them, and i lowkey hope this journey never ends – and i know that, even when the last chapter comes (LONG IN THE FUTURE!!), this will stay forever. three tan will have as many birthdays as its readers.

3tan yoongi means just as much to me as y'all, and reader, and everyone that's involved in this series. to know that he's like that in your life like irl yoongi? i want to cry. for real, it means so incredibly much to me that you've found comfort in both of them. i don't know what else to say other than it's the biggest damn honor i could ever think of.

even if i'm a little far away sometimes, just know that i am always coming back to 3tan. i work on it the most out of everything i've got going on, to the point where it's become part of me and my daily routine. the goal is to finish it out just as strong as it's been going thus far! and that includes all the fun times we have on this blog and discord and elsewhere!

i also saw that you’ve been through some stuff lately, and i hope you’re feeling better. i hope this community can inspire some well deserved peace in you and you can have a tranquil day!

it's okay, love. there's been some tough times recently but we push on. my only ask of y'all is to be happy, healthy, and come say hi once in awhile<3 i do wanna keep talking to you all!

you're totally ok! whenever you get the chance, you write to your heart's content and i will eat it up multiple times over just like your other wonderful fantastic amazing commentary pieces. i definitely wanna keep those forever.

anyway, thank you. really. thank you so much for this.

thank you, as well. it's been quite the journey, these two years. looking back on everything, it's unbelievable how much we've been through! but we will keep making fun memories and keep being there for each other, and everyone in the 3tan crew. thank you again, lua, and i hope you have a wonderful rest of the year and a prosperous 2024!

#thank you.. just. thank you #lua!#asks:3tan #3tanniversary #3tan2yrs #lovely people #*ryenfictalk #3tan #calm tag #long post #mailbox💌

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the-doomed-witch · 2 years

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I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SANG THE CORN SONG!! 😂😂😂 My bestie and I love that song!!! Jesus, I sang along 🤣

I am pretty good with titles - let me help! (Searching for a way to get my hands on your draft? Maybe 😬). Jokes apart, actually I suck at the whole rest of the "fic-writer" ability 😅. Just to write this for you takes me a few re-runs, some Google translate and some searches like "what does it mean internet English slang ngl" 🥲

Don't worry about the skiped chapter: you are protected by the Brazilian curse, remember? 🕯<not>

Supplementary and professional degree? Oo where are you from? This is so weird. Here we graduate high-school, go to university, grab a degree, some post graduation and resentfully work with it until you die 😌. Very simple.

(I may have a tech level degree on business/accountant, so I kind of know what you are talking about - don't work with that, thankfully)

JANE AUSTEN? Ok.. you got 192100% more interesting right now.. and waaay out of my league of poshness 🥸🧐🤣

I am too old for my likings on books that may or may not have vampires / weird described angels .... and maaaaaybe I have too many Bernard Cornwell on my virtual bookshelf 😳. But hey, no judging, Miss EnglishLitForFun 🤗

. .

#waitinganxiouslyforyourWandaToxicFic

AHAHAH I LOVE THAT SONG, ITS LIKE ALWAYS STUCK IN MY HEAD 😭

and you’re a fic writer too omg? i didn’t know! now i’m a little curious, have i read any of your fics before? I WANT TO KNOW! hdhdhghj but i get you english isn’t my first language either so sometimes i google the most stupid things like for my airplane fic i literally searched “where do the flight passengers sit” AND 😭😭😭 they started telling me about airline seats like honey i know people sit on a fucking seat but I WANNA KNOQ WHATS THE AREA CALLED

and as for my exam, it went quite well IM DONE WITY ALL OF THEM SO IM FREE FOR A WHILE NOW :D

i’m from india! our education system is really messed up lmao. not all people here need two separate degrees, but a regular university degree has almost no value so yeah :/ where are you from? i think brazil?

so wait, you know stuff about journal entries and all that? what is the degree about?

i haven’t started reading the book yet, because i’m currently reading on earth we’re briefly gorgeous :) but yes i’ll start it by next week, i have only read pride and prejudice so far and i love it! lizzy bennet my love🖤🖤🖤🖤 guess i have this thing for the lizzies, you can say 😭

you can read any books tho 🫣 i mean, i think i’ve read more fanfics this year than books and if i count them as books i might’ve read over 43 this year ‼️‼️

also, the fic comes out today evening 🫶🏻🫶🏻 i just finished editing the draft :P

#skye answers #anon ★#. . anon <3

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euphoricfilter · 2 years

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I would never have guessed that you consider Smut as one of your weaker points, bc for me it was really good while I was reading it, means that once you are more confident about it, Babe you'll kill it.

YES blowjobs are better when you are reading them than seeing them, but for me it applies to majority of things in sex lol. The pegging HAHA sorry it's something I have seen its usual on pet play.

But after reading that I'm excited to see you experiment with those new themes you talk about. The request sounds interesting Lmao, take your time tho, wouldn't want you to stress because of it. Gonna be stalking your page until then.

Also the title is perfect haha <3

i’m gonna cry, thank you 😭

writing in itself is still relatively new for me so there are definitely areas i can improve on. i ‘started’ this blog at the end of january this year (i’d had it for a while i just never uploaded) with DTIK and i literally uploaded the first chapter like a week after i wrote it and that’s where it all started and my experience is like the last 10 months. i had written in the past when i was like 13-14 but it will never see the light of day, it was very much the unrealistic, mafia bangtan but i was convinced to write an empowered woman that didn’t need men, which they don’t, but my writing was so crusty i can’t read it now without giggling. i have 60 something drafts of wattpad 😭 of crusty old fics.

i think the first time i wrote smut was 4 months ago? maybe? it could be 5, i know i was still in china at the time because i remember i’d said i wanted to add smut to the last chapter of TBAH but then i was like yeah idk how to write this in part 9 and then an anon was like “i think it’s time they fucked” and i was like yeah you’re probably right. and i remember sitting there thinking what the hell am i supposed to say, this is kinda awkward and i was stupid and thought an ot7 fic would be a good place to start. writing smut for 8 people is so freaking hard so i had to split it up into subunits 😭 and then i started writing “smut” in DTIK but they haven’t actually had sex yet so it doesn’t really count and then helping hands came along + rope bunny and that basically all my experience so i’m happy i seem to be good at it 😭

my skin crawls when a bj post comes up on my twitter, i scroll past them so quick THE NOISE I ACTUALLY HATE IT 😭 it’s so much better when you read it 😭 i’ve read some out-there smut, and i think ‘wait that’s kinda hot’ and then i think logically in real life what that would be like and i want to cry because it would be foul

don’t be sorry about the pegging 😋, it’s actually not something i’ve thought about putting in a fic before but also it reminds me of that rumor that prince william is into pegging so i can’t take it seriously

IM SO CLOSE TO FINEIHINF THE REQUEST. i’ve edited to main part, and it’s like 50/50 it’ll come out tonight if i could just hurry up and write the sexy lil smut scene but also i have ptsd from wattpad smut so i always try to make sure it’s nothing like that and there’s a decent amount of detail to fuel the reader’s imagination 😋

i always think about, what if someone stalks my page because recently i went through a few of my old posts and it’s kinda crusty ngl, the other day someone liked a post i made months and months and months ago that literally only had the tag of the au so only people that followed me at the time could see it and i was like oh someone liked that but they would have had to have scrolled so far down, i don’t post a shit ton on here but they would have been so deep into my page i wanted to cry because i can’t remember half the stuff i post and there’s definitely some dark stuff crawling in the depths of this blog but that au was cute so i’m glad they liked it 😭

while we’re on the topic of my writing weaknesses, titles. i’m so shit at naming my fics it’s awful 😭 i changed “open” like 3 times before it became that name because i cant name my fics for shit it’s so bad 😭

#ask #but also tmi #because i never know when to stop sharing things people don’t care about 😋

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corruptedconfessions · 4 years

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Are you still in the kiri mood? If yes, can you yeet him into this thought: different yanderes (izuku, bakugo, kiri, or whomever you want!) Reacting to a touch starved reader. Ever the stubborn captive, they deny they want anything to do with the yandere, but during some forced fluff shenanigans, the yandere accidentally squeezes readers legs/ holds onto readers shoulders deeply, and reader let's out a moan. Thanks! And remember to drink water and take a break if you need!

Ngl Kirishima, Bakugo, and Hizashi are like the 3 yanderes im always down to write 24/7

they all live in my head rent free

This one is more of an imagine/drabble thing, I threw in another bonus yandere bc I feel like he fits the prompt well. I hope thats all okay <3

Also thank you for your kindness <3 Im hydrated and hopefully ready to write out some fics! I have a few drafts in my computer already :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima is the very definition of clingy yandere, he is practically the poster boy for clingy, so it won’t be very long into your...moving in (he refuses to admit he kidnapped you! You were just too shy to ask yourself so he encouraged you! Don’t worry he gets the message no matter what you say otherwise!) that he’ll catch on to you being so desperately touch starved despite angrily telling him to fuck off every time he tries to cuddle. Being the ever delusional puppy he is he just assumes that you’re shy and keeps doing it even more

He’ll try to respect your space and let you come to him naturally but he’ll still insist on being close to you, dragging you to sit on the couch, you sitting on one end with him sitting on the other, your legs entangled in the middle. He’ll wait until you are engrossed in the tv or your book or whatever hobby of choice you have (the poor sap will buy you anything you ask, he just wants you happy) making sure you’re completely relaxed before he slowly slides a bit closer, reaching out to run his hands across your legs, squeezing and massaging them gently. Honestly he expected you to kick him or freeze up, stare at him in fear and confusion and anger like you always did whenever he reached out to touch you.

But you didn’t do any of that. If anything you relaxed, arching up into his touch as a soft breathy moan slipped past your lips, causing both of you to freeze at the same time, staring wide eyed at each other, stunned.

If you thought Kirishima was clingy before you would be dead wrong compared to his behavior after that. He’s constantly by your side whenever he can, brushing against you in the kitchen when the two of you are cooking or washing dishes, moving closer to bump shoulders when the two of you are close by, constantly touching your hair, your neck, your shoulders, everywhere. You’ll be overstimulated and stressed but there is no going back now that he knows. Cuddles and spooning sessions whenever he can get you to sit still, honestly I wouldn’t put it past him to whine and demand you sit on his lap sometimes too, or at least lay against him and let him give you massages when the two of you are curled up on the couch.

And that isn’t even getting started on sexual touching. He’ll be like a dog in heat, constantly aching for you, practically humping you any chance he gets. He’ll wrap his arms around you waist and hold you close as he grinds his hard on against your ass, trying to pull out those cute little noises that you’ll make. Pins you against the counter, over the couch, on the table, anywhere and everywhere is free game.

And know that his poor sweet darling is touch starved? He’ll be quick to try and remedy that, he’ll tie you down to the bed and get you off just by rubbing his hands across your skin, massaging you, kissing you, just touching you. He won’t stop no matter how much you plead until he is done and he is sure that you have gotten the attention you deserve from him.

Izuku is probably one of the best yandere matches for a touch starved darling, he is so submissive and cuddly for his darling, but not so much so its overstimulating and overwhelming like other yanderes. Unlike others he is more likely to let you have your space when he...first takes you home. He understands moving is a big change and you need your time and space to adjust and adapt to your new surroundings. He may coax you out with your favorite home made meals and promises of hot baths or treats, but he’ll smile and suck it up when you yell and scream at him, saying you want nothing to do with him. You’re just stressed and adjusting thats all! He can wait you out.

Now just because he is patient and understanding doesn’t mean he just lets you do whatever you want. He has needs too! The entire reason he had you...move in was so he could be closer to you and spend more time with you without anyone else interfering! Even you just being in the same room with him without throwing a fit is enough for him to feel like his patience is being rewarded.

That patience wont last forever, though.

He tries to work his way up slowly, very slowly demanding more of you, insisting you stay just a minute longer, let him stand just an inch closer, it will be so slow you wont even realize you are practically cuddling up to him until it’s too late and you are so use to an reliant on him that you can’t go back to isolating yourself again.

He’ll always have an idea that you are a bit more...starved for attention than others but he won’t get confirmation until months into your captivity. He’ll sweetly insist that you seem stressed and that you should let him give you a massage to help you relax. His calloused hands will reach out, squeezing your shoulders soothingly, coaxing a soft happy moan from your lips.

Oh sweetheart! How can you expect him to hold back when you make such sweet noises just from a simple touch? He may be a gentleman but even he has his limits...

You can bet there will be more...touching in your future. And much less patience towards an aversion to it.

Bakugo is probably one of the worst (yandere) matches for a touch starved darling imo, the poor boy is sensitive and touch starved himself, and with his aggression he would probably just end up overstimulating his darling, and not in a good way. He’d much rather be on the receiving end of massages and pets, nuzzling himself into your chest or your stomach as you stroke his hair and tell him what a good boy he is.

Having said that he would catch on pretty quick to your little act, seeing right past the screaming and defiance and your insistence that you want nothing to do with him, which is going to get you locked up in the basement and punished heavily, he sees the subtle ways you act that remind him of himself, that tell him exactly what he needs to know.

Unlike the others when he reaches out for you, he knows exactly what he is doing and exactly what kind of reaction he is going to get. The shit eating smirk on his face as you moan in surprise tells everything. He’ll keep touching you, fingers digging into your skin just a little too hard, trying to drag more of those noises out of you until you are trembling under him, left feeling raw and sensitive. If you’re lucky he might notice that he went to far and be how ever much more gentle next time as he can be, but honestly after that he’s the same old Bakugo. He doesn’t go out of his way to touch you more, if he wants to wrap his arms around you he will, if he wants you on his lap he’ll pull you onto his lap, if he wants to lay on you, fuck what you’re doing, you get a lapful of Bakugo.

That act doesn’t hide the way that he curls around you and cuddles you way closer at night in those tender moments, though.

Hawks is another very handsy yandere. He wants constant contact and attention from his darling, so much so its almost impossible to keep up with his incessant demands for your attention, it grows draining. Even negative attention in the form of screaming, crying, fighting seems to fuel him. He just wants you to be looking at him, he doesnt care how. He’ll be the quickest to figure it out since if you wont give him attention he’ll give you his. He’s constantly reaching out to touch you in some way or form, be it grabbing your ass, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, or curling his wings around you to pull you closer to him, you’ll always know if Hawks is home and where he is since theres always some part of him reaching for you. He’s a weird mix of aware and delusional, he knows he has kidnapped you and you’re unhappy because of it, but part of him also believes he just needs to take good care of you and that you love him anyways. Because of that he’s just constantly trying to please you to try and “make up” for kidnapping you. (He often brushes it off like he got the wrong food or forgot to text you back instead of something more serious)

It’ll happen when you’re standing still, he’ll sneak up behind you, reaching out and squeezing your shoulders, rolling his thumbs across them in a brief massage as he happily opens his mouth to greet you, only to be interrupted by the cutest moan bubbling out of you as you arch your back, pushing into his touch with a soft gasp.

Immediately you’ll find yourself pinned down to the couch or the bed, whichever is closer. Hands will be dragged across your body, desperately repeating that movement and many others, anything to drag those sweet noises you had been hiding from him out. He wont be satisfied until you are near tears, gasping and limp under his touch, having given him all your cute little noises, surrendering yourself fully to him.

Not much will change after that, he is just as clingy and handsy as before, but now he knows all the pretty noises and faces you can make for him, and he practically pounces on you every time he comes home, desperate to hear more.

#yandere #kirishima x reader #kirishima ejirou #reader insert #izuku x reader #midoriya izuku #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #hawks x reader #hawks

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chittapornswife · 6 years

Text

Strawberry Sweet 🍓

been thinking of writing this for a long time after I ate sum strawberry candy & thought of bb sung and well, i actually did it. *cue crowd booing* thank you my friends, i hope you enjoy (*＾∀゜) Mood for this!!

(this has been in my drafts for far too long lolol)

genre: a whole lotta fluff + bf!jisung!! word count: 2K type: jisung x reader (gender neutral)

summary: you strike up a somewhat friendship with your class-mate jisung that revolves around him offering you strawberry candies everyday before lunch.

“strawberry candy?”

is the first thing you hear when the teacher dismisses your class for lunch

and you’re like

????? sorry w h a t????

“would you like a strawberry candy?”

asks jisung,

a boy who sits in front of you that you’ve never talked to except for when you pass papers up to the front for the teacher to collect

aka someone you’d never expect to offer you candy

but you realize you’ve been silent for too long,

so you hesitantly reply with a sure

and the dark-haired boy beams at you

his face brightening up which really makes him radiate pure happiness

and you can't help but smile back

ngl,,,,, you feel kinda special that someone especially a guy would give you something randomly

but that thought disappears right away when you notice jisung hand out other pink foil wrapped candies to his desk-mate chenle and to his other friends around him

and you’re like oh.

ohokay. cool.

so im not special?

right. cool. got it.

but on the other hand you’re still pretty grateful for the candy which btw tastes freaking amazing

like its hard on the outside but not super hard like the old candy your grandma gives you every time you see her

but like hard yet with a chew and the inside’s filled with strawberry fudge(?)

all in all, 10 outta 10 to jisung da candy supplier

you go back to packing your stuff in your bag and grabbing your lunch box

not noticing that while his friends are all laughing and chatting, jisung’s secretly peeking at you and smiling to himself

feeling happy that you’re eating the candy he gave.

anyways,,,,

the next day, when you’re packing up your notebooks and pencil case once again for lunch, you hear a

“strawberry candy?”

you look up to the same smiling face of jisung and feel a bit surprised that he's asking you again

does this mean he wants to be friends?

honestly, you don't know.

but you don't ask and just take the candy from his long thin fingers again and say a “thanks:)”

his smile brightens more at the sight of this and he turns around, giving the same candy to the others

but this time you smile to yourself as well and eat the delicious candy before taking out your lunchbox

and from everyday on,

jisung always asks if you’d like a strawberry candy

to which you always reply yes to

the both of you never talking to each other more than that

because you’re afraid

afraid to start a conversation first and that maybe he wouldn't want to carry it.

plus you don't even know what to say because you don't even know anything about jisung

since he’s always hanging out with his other friends who are from different grades so he’s rarely out with your class for group dinners and stuff y’all do

the only thing you know about him is that’s he’s cute

like very very cute

with the way he laughs loudly, his gums showing and his brows scrunching up

the way he smiles shlyl at everyone like 90% of the time

except when class starts and he’s in confused jisung mode

brows furrowed and mouth pursed, tapping his pencil to the beat of the clock ticking

how his uniform manages to look & fit better on him than 99.99% of the class

his lil nose scrunches that happen before he sneezes

how his fingers are so long, so long, that he unconsciously does cool flexing things with them (that ur mesmerized by for no reason)

but the thing you find more adorable than everything else

is his voice

it’s as low as like a 30 yr old man’s

and it contrasts a lot with his young boyish face

plus it contrasts with his sweet personality too

his strawberry sweet personality

but,,,,

you never tell anyone what you think about him,

not even your closest friends because

it seems like it’s a secret meant for just you and your heart

so you go about your day regularly except

with the thought of a happy jisung moving you forward rather than lunch LOL

and you feel content just knowing that no matter what happens,

you’ll always see jisung from start to finish of school and thank him during the lunch break for the strawberry candy

a special moment for the both of you

but one day,

mid-winter,

there’s no jisung

like you enter the classroom in the morning and see everyone mingling and chatting with their friends

except for the dark-haired boy

but his desk-mate chenle is there talking to his friends

and tbh, you don’t really know how to ask him about jisung

because then that would seem like you like him

which is true. but..,,,,

let’s just keep that to ourselves (y/n)

so you just sit and take out your notebooks and pencil case to doodle random things before class starts

and while you’re doodling a cute heart you overhear someone say

“where’s jisung at bro? he’s always the first to come to class”

“ah, he’s at some dance competition thing for the whole week.”

chenle replies with his high prepubescent-sounding voice

and you drop your pencil,

no one notices you freeze of course

but you’re just in complete shock because

jisung dances???

and he’s away for the week???

but he never told you?

your heart stops for a moment

until the teacher walks in

making you instantly realize that you both were never even officially friends

so why are you so upset?

you have no reason to be sad when the only interaction the both of you ever have is just sharing a candy once a day

and the whole week you’re down because of this

but when monday rolls by

you enter the classroom to see a bright smiley jisung

holding a golden trophy and getting cheered on by your other class-mates

you want to smile too

but remember that you really aren't anything to him

so you quietly make your way past the people and sit down in your seat

pulling out your headphones to listen to music then doodle

your desk-mate nudges you as the teacher walks in shortly so you take out your headphones and look up to find jisung staring at you

he coughs when you make eye contact and quickly turns around

his ears turning red

your heart beats fast and your brain has a hundred thoughts swirling around at what that stare meant

but nothing’s adding up

and as lunch break comes by,

you hear the same

“strawberry candy?”

and without looking up as you pack your stuff

you say with a great deal of courage

“no thanks”

and sling your backpack over your shoulder,

walking away to sit outside and eat your lunch

which,,, is a bad idea....

cause it is a chilly day and you’re just wearing a uniform that can give you warmth for like 5 mins at the most

but you also can't go inside and face jisung while eating your lunch

so you shiver and munch on your colder than usual sandwich while your butt’s freezing off on a picnic table seat

while you’re doing so you hear some crunching from the frozen grass

and you look back to find jisung behind you

a soft, shy smile on his face as he hands you a long black coat

“i was looking for you everywhere until I saw that you were outside and i um thought it might be too cold, so um here’s my jacket.”

it’s hella awkward as he’s holding his jacket to you

and you’re like uhhhhhh ermmmmmmmmm

be quiet, dont cry (y/n)

but you gently take his jacket and put it on

because it’d be hella awkward if you turned him down twice

and jisung just sits beside you at the small picnic table

your shoulder’s brushing causing your heart to beat fast

“i’m sorry I-” “i’m sorry-”

you both blurt out at the same time

making you laugh as jisung breaks out into a big smile

“you can go first (y/n)”

“you can go first jisung”

you both say at the same time again

cue an adorable jisung sigh while u giggle

“ok um... I'm sorry if i offended or did anything bad around you,, um i don't know what i did but i know you’re upset with me and it makes me sad because i er thought we were friends? and um yeah i’m sorry again.”

the lil ppl in your head are yelling at you for being so mean to him and you clear your throat replying

“I'm sorry for turning you down. I mean- I guess-, no. its stupid i won't say it-”

“say what?”

jisung looks at you,

his face closer than ever

and his sincere chocolate brown eyes staring into yours

“um, i guess i was just uh upset? that you didnt tell me you were going to be away last week? i mean i know i’m not really anything special to you but-”

“you are special.”

jisung cuts you off

huh?

his ears turn red, you don't know if its from the cold temp. or if he's embarrassed or nervous

but he takes in a deep breath and looks into your eyes again

“you are special to me. t-that’s why I always give you a candy and to no one else besides my friends because i um, i mean uh , i ahem,,,, i like you.”

he falls silent, looking at your shocked face

and your heart’s beating faster than usain bolt as you look at him

the same jisung looking nervous, vulnerable and his nose turning red

and you do what anyone would’ve done hearing this

you tackle him into a hug

which,,,,, causes the both of you to fall to the icy ground

and you’re both laughing at this

your head above jisung’s shoulder and jisung holding you tightly to keep you from falling off of him onto the cold ground

and after a couple of minutes, it hits you

that you’re on top of him

chest to chest

body on body

so you pick your head up to see his adorable face

looking at you innocently

and in that moment, you don't care about anything else

it’s just the two of you

so you mumble a,

“I like you too.”

and you swear.

jisung’s face goes from 0_0 to ▼ω▼ in less than five seconds

the both of you smiling at each other widely and naively

it just feels so right and perfect that you can't resist yourself

as you lean down and kiss the tip of his cold,red nose

which of course,,

makes baby jisung redden even more (when he was already a tomato after your confession) and focus his stare on the jacket you’re wearing

his jacket

and you find out that you’ve found something else even more adorable than his low voice

the blush that spreads across his face from when you touch him or say something cute

which you love to tease him about and even though he tells you to stop it

he enjoys the bright smile on your face

and loves that he’s the reason for it

ok real talk

we goin✈️bf jisung

wakes up before you everyday so he can msg u “good morning my mochi :)” and make it the first thing you see

always gives you his hoodies/jackets to wear

not only bc u look super cute in his big clothes

but cause he likes it when you two meet up and you’re wearing his clothes as if they're yours

is there for you when you're frustrated

whether it be about school or family life

and even tho he can't help with the school part cause he's struggling too LOL

its comforting that he's just there by your side

(p.s. he asks chenle or his tutor doyoung to help u with schoolwork)

and this boy loves LOVES to receive hugs

or when you play with his fingers

even tho he gets redder than a tomato every time you're near him

but the moment one of his friends comes up to give him a big ole hug he’s ready to leave the country

you’re the first person he goes to when he’s finished dance practice or a performance

because he loves to hear your opinion and your encouragement on his moves

all in all, y’all both bring out the best out of one another

and his older friends have either two reactions for y’all

screaming in cringe at whatever you guys do

or gushing about it

the latter being jaemin, your #1 hypeman

but you don't mind and get along with them all

and the only downside to the relationship is,,,,

that you can't spend your whole day together :’(

like you don't mind being alone or doing things with other friends

its just that you guys are each other’s #1 best-friends so its more fun to share the experiences with each other

*chenle poppin up from a corner* uH EXCUSE ME? wanna say that best-friend part again?????

*shoves chenle head’s back into the corner*

ahem,,,, anyways,,,

you always feel grateful to him and grateful for the fact that you'd never have become close if it weren’t for those strawberry candies

which btw,,,

jisung still gives to you everyday.

10 outta 10 for bf jisung *3*

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hclles-blog · 6 years

Text

hey guys ! this has been sitting in drafts for at least a day now, but trust me when i say i’m as excited as i was when typing this fucking monster of an intro SDKFGJKFD but i’m jules, kard and clc supremacist and a struggling student about to apply to the english faculty of my uni ! like i said, this is a super long intro, so get settled as i introduce asteria’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, extensive plots and an extra list of options are linked accordingly !

jeon somin, cis female, she/her. — have you seen ( hyunmi “halle” chae ) around ( hecate ) ? they’re a ( twenty-two ) year old ( senior ) who’s majoring in ( kinesiology. ) i know they’re busy with ( dance club, women’s volleyball, and kappa delta sorority ), but you should tell them to check their latest starred rating ! ( jules, 21, she/her, gmt-3:30. )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

this is mostly a carbon copy of an intro i’ve made for her in the past, so while some random points seem a Little dated or repetitive, they’re valid enough to stay here sfdlgkdg

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities in canada, the us and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

but the latter wound up being a bust bc she opted for asteria u, close to some of the popular yet secluded skate clubs the greats went to during their off-season training.. and before tr*mp got elected bc she would’ve cancelled everything, demanded her money and scholarships back, had she arrived after that LSDFGJFKLD

should be noted that her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, so she deemed all of this inevitable sfkljfdgk

though the school didn’t and still doesn’t offer its own skate club so, that was a slight drawback for the invested bitch

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and was back on the ice in no time, joining one of those aforementioned skate clubs under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it; however the stars didn’t align back in 2017 during her sophomore year, when she just missed obtaining qualification while now on canada’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a couple of years since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

meaning she’s currently on hiatus from the sport, but she knows a good few people think her career is Over now — and it pisses her the Fuck off

studying kinesiology despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves being active and thinks she’d be a resource in the field down the line ok ??

anyways, she’s found new things to invest her time in, such as the sorority, dance club and volleyball

dance helps with the choreo for her routines.... or Did, but we all know she’s still doing Some amount of skating on the side so

and it helps in areas where muscle memory and years of flexibility can’t quite do so

volleyball’s a great second option for her as a sport, mostly bc she can exert as much of her frequent frustration as possible into a game and act like it’s just her being into it. though she really can be That competitive, as you can see, rather than bratty

so, moving onto other things —

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once or twice. the first time being when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner that she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane halle ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

or, for a better way to describe it though it sounds like i’m just repeating myself: she gives off Proper head bitch vibes ( subtract the Need to feel powerful in being a piece of shit to anyone who walks past you ) but she’s really just a blunt and serious brat with a super dry and at times menacing sense of humour

she won’t hesitate to call you out on your shit or make it clear that she doesn’t like you, though, even if she appears cordial on the surface

as a result, hockey players HATE her !

bc she rips into them the most for frequently poor experiences with her fellow ice people. most of which are them hogging her reserved practice time, and being thirsty and pretentious dicks about it within and outside of the arena

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out korean or her conversational-level french far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

she’s pan but..... girls disappoint her far less than guys so she has a preference djfgskgdkf

all of that being said, it clearly plays into how she’s perceived by others, so —

her view and reception on starred

she..... probably doesn’t do too hot tbh

well. maybe she Does if starred's social ladder resembled most high school/college shows, movies.... rps, but it doesn't really so —

in all fairness, she probably does do better than i'm assuming rn bc.. she Is a character of sorts, who knows gskfksl but MOVING ON !

her blunt and kinda snarky attitude is partially Why she hates this point system, bc people tend to kiss ass just so they aren’t given a low rating whereas she can only hold back about 5% of her unfiltered opinion — but that’s IT !

tbh she relies heavily on her involvement in extracurriculars, and especially her public image from her glory days, more so than she herself to keep her head above water

so she looks entitled from that alone

given the way i’ve played her in the past, ik she might come across as a hbic type: thinks she’s the best ( which.. she kinda does sjkfgd ), savours the power she tries to or does in fact exert, doesn’t come across as particularly sympathetic or nice, etc

but she’s just a shit disturber with thick skin and a slight kink for receiving admiration and respect, puts herself first a little too much

in fact, she doesn’t really Care to hold people by a leash, but yeah, it can come across much differently since her tone never really Shifts if she doesn’t know you well, doesn’t trust you, knows you’re naive with such things, doesn’t like you, is just fucking around or in a sour mood.... the list goes on

so if your character focuses on who’s the nicest or most cheerful when giving high ratings, makes a v quick judgment on their character from a first impression, she’s gonna be near the bottom of their list dfsghkfgj

and like i said, she doesn’t care for the system Enough to change any of this, so she gets by

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there bc this is painfully long — congratulations if you’ve made it to the end of this intro from hell ! if anyone wants to plot, like this or im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

#╳┊: — these are stacy's baby ! •「 ooc. 」#starred:intro #y'all i'm SO sorry this got so long kfdgkgsdj

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years

Text

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

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irregulardiaryposts · 3 years

Text

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

#why does tumblr break up the paragraphs like this #there isnt supposed to be paragraphs #maybe i should change that #anyway off to fix all my post so far and tag the all like ->#june 2021 entry #2021 the year of fun

0 notes

ineverhadmyinternetphase · 7 years

Text

Running Into You - No. 6

Installment number 6 in my series of AU oneshots about Dan meeting his favourite youtuber AmazingPhil for the first time.

AO3 link

Genre: Fluff, with a sort of 2009-ish feel (but it’s still AU)

Warnings: A bit of swearing and some mentions of low self-esteem but literally it’s just fluff

Prompt: Missent Text

Summary: Dan’s on his gap year, so naturally he’s spending most of his time lounging around on the internet, watching his favourite youtubers and scrolling through tumblr. When he gets an accidental text from an unknown number, he doesn’t think much of it, until a series of events start to convince him the sender might just be someone he idolises: AmazingPhil.

A/N: This draft is like 2 years old, but @agingphangirl convinced me to post this while we’re waiting for pinof. It’s epistolary form, so I hope it isn’t too confusing. Hope you like it ^_^

Phil’s texts are italics, Dan’s texts are in quotation marks

…

6. Missent Text

Where r u?

Sorry what?

Where r u I’ve been here 10 mins

…Am I supposed to be somewhere?

You said on dm you’d be here at 6, I’m getting cold ^_^

Um I’m sorry mate but you must have the wrong number

Oh crap!! Sorry!!

.Lmao it’s ok. Just checked my dms and nothing interesting enough to make me be outside in this weather sorry

Tell me about it x_x I’m freezing. But if you’re not peej then I’ll be here a while

Unfortunately for you I go by Dan

Oh. Well, hello Dan. Sorry for bothering you with my freezing antics

Nvm it’s cool

It’s more than COOL, it’s COLD enough for ICICLES

I’m sure ur exaggerating

No my nose is an actual block of ice

Where even are you? Unless you’re in the Arctic you might want to get that seen to

Sorry! Peej showed up eventually (the friend I thought you were). Turns out he gave me the wrong number. All sorted now. I promise not to bother you again

Honestly it’s fine. I probably need more human contact so you did me a favour

Haha, glad to be of service ^_^ also I was in Manchester. It’s so cold it snowed. My icicle nose is allowed

Manchester? That’s like waaaaay in the north

Not that far but cold enough for icicle noses :P

Yes yes ok you’re allowed an icicle nose

Haha thanks :P so where are you, if not in the north?

Reading

Ohhhh so a proper southerner

I guess you could say that

Well hello Dan the proper southerner

God no that makes me sound like a queens guard or something

Do you queens guard people have time to text?

We’re too busy dealing with the corgis and all that shit

I knew it 0.o

XD but really I’m sitting in bed on the internet lol

Actually same

Haha really?

Yep. Which sites you on?

Just the usual. Tumblr, YouTube. My favourite youtuber has a new video due out tonight

Nice ^_^

What sites are you on?

Currently uploading a video to my YouTube channel

You have a channel?!

Haha yeah ^_^

Which one? Would I know it?

I don’t know. It isn’t a huge deal but it’s fun

Yeah I mean I admire that. I’d love to have a channel

Why don’t you?

Idk too scared I guess

Awr ^_^ nothing to be scared about honest, it’s just you and a camera

And the whole of the internet xD

Haha I try not to think about that part 0.o thousands of people watching me

Thousands? Wow so you must be a pretty big channel

Heh I guess, maybe ^_^ so who are your favourite youtubers?

Oh man I have loads XD Smosh, community channel, AmazingPhil (the one I’m waiting for the new video), charlieissocoollike

That’s a good mix ^_^ my new video is 99% uploaded and stuck there x_x

Seriously? Your connection needs to sort its shit out

Haha yeah it really does. I think it’s being attacked by bees

Bees?

Or wasps

Seriously?

Tiny horned beetles?

Do they even exist?

Idk but if they do they’re attacking my wifi

I’ll send the insect spray

Haha thanks XD it must have worked as my video is finally uploaded!

—

…Great video. Especially the lion wedding, that was sweet

Haha thanks! Glad you liked it, took ages to get the dress on lioness. Plus my mum nearly walked in on me 0.o

Holy fuck you actually are AmazingPhil aren’t you

Um, well, yes.

Sorry.

AmazingPhil, FantasticPhil, Epic Youtuber

or just Phil if you prefer

I probably should have told you

Jesus shitting fuck I’m sorry for bothering you

Don’t be daft! I accidentally texted you first ^_^

Yeah but I bet you didn’t expect to end up with a weird fanboy. Um. Not that I’m a stalker I promise

Haha it’s ok Dan honestly

I’m not going to spread your number around or anything holy shit like I’m so sorry

Honestly, please don’t worry, it’s been nice talking to you ^_^ I appreciate you not spreading my number around though. I got lucky with you, don’t want to risk a creepy stalker finding me 0.o

Lmao I promise xD how do you know for sure I’m not a creepy stalker though

0.o I’ll set the bees against you

I’ll start running now

Haha

—

So out of curiosity how long have you been watching my videos for?

Oh um a couple of years now

Really? That’s awesome!

Yeah. You actually replied to one of my comments once ^_^ made my day

Aw haha that’s great, which video?

The toxic one

Oh my god >.<

Haha it’s a good video :P

I should remove it from the internet immediately

Don’t you dare! Your fans would be sad

X_x well this isn’t very fair if you know about me but I don’t know you at all

Well you know my name’s Dan

And you’re from Reading. Tell me more? ^_^

unless you don’t want to, that’s fine, I’m just curious

Haha no it’s alright. Um. I’m Dan. I just finished my A levels and now I’m taking a gap year

Oh cool ^_^ going to uni after that?

Probably. Thinking of law

Wow, that’s impressive

Haha we’ll see ^_^

Just checking but how old are you? I don’t want to be a creep 0.o

Lmao dw I’m 18 everything is legal

Phew XD Anything else I should know?

Well I’m currently undefeated at mario kart

What seriously? You’ve never lost?

Nope and I don’t plan to start :P

I’d beat you

I really wish we could test that theory

Haha that would be fun :P we could always test it over Skype sometime?

That’s probably really weird sorry

I promise I’m not a creeper

It’s ok, and yeah, I’d love to Skype sometime

Yeah? Yay! :D

Lmao you’re probably going to want to run a mile when you see me though

I doubt that very much unless you have like five eyes or something

Five eyes? Wtf XD

Idk you could be a giant spider

[insert pic] See? Not a giant spider :P

Oh wow yeah not a giant spider. I spy a cute guy :P

Shut up >.<

Nice hair

Lol I swear I had it like this before I started watching you

[insert pic] And here I thought I’d started a trend

Crap you actually are Phil >.< yeah your hair is cool enough to be a trendsetter tbh

Haha thanks XD and yeah I am Phil. Is that a problem?

Are you kidding me? Nope except I turn even more awkward than normal around people I admire

Aw well awkward people are the best. And at least there aren’t videos of you half-naked on the internet

You make a good point

—

Hey so I’m uploading a new video tonight but I can’t decide if it’s actually any good. Check it out for me?

Omfg are you seriously saying I get a sneak preview on an AmazingPhil video

Yes please ^_^ I might have overweirded. Need a second opinion

Omfg

just like

give me a moment

wtf

fucking hell

wow ok

I’m calm now

yes I would love to check your video for you

Haha thanks. It’s up as unlisted, [insert link] please be honest with me if it’s terrible

Wow man that’s awesome! I love how interactive it is!

Omfg seriously how are you this creative like you shouldn’t be allowed

Haha really? Wow thanks, I’m not sure about the shot angle though and the lighting is kinda terrible

Yeah ngl the lighting is bad but you can’t control the sun

You never know! I could be a weatherman. But you seriously think I should upload it?

[insert pic with thumbs up] totally I love it

Aw I forgot how hot you are. It’s going up tonight then

CUTE I MEANT CUTE

Gah I’m sorry

Haha it’s fine, getting called hot is never bad in my book ;)

Would you believe it was autocorrect?

Haha if you want :P sounds pretty unlikely though

I’m hiding in a pillow and never coming out

No! Then your subscribers will hate me for taking you away

[insert pic in a pillow] do you like my new home

XD don’t hide from me seriously like you have a video to upload

[insert pic] ok true it’s on 68%

Damn YouTube upload times

Tell me about it. Have you ever uploaded a video then?

Lmao there’s one of me being a boss at DDR

Yeah? Can I check it out?

>.< Um sure, I’m a lame nerd though

Dan, have you even met me?

Haha ok true :P [insert link] just don’t say I didn’t warn you

No one’s feet should be allowed to move that fast. You’re so good, I fall over whenever I try and play

Haha I could teach you

Please be my DDR master Dan-sensei

Depends what you give me :P

I’ve got Pokemon cards

I’m sold

—

[insert pikachu with a lion pic] this was too cute not to show you

Awwww! Rawr ^_^ where is that?

Shop called forbidden planet. I’m in London on work experience and went there on my break

0.o London? You’re braver than me, capital cities scare me

Aw poor Phil haha

[insert pic] do I look ready for work?

Very serious

Srs bsns

[insert scared face pic] I’ll take YouTube any day

Haha. Me too tbh. Law offices are big and dull

Why do you want to do it then?

Idk. Job security? Having a point in life?

Fair enough :P

You did English didn’t you? Sorry I swear I’m not a stalker

Haha it’s fine ^_^ and yeah, English language and linguistics. Then a masters in post-production

Wow that’s so cool. So you’re in your 20s?

22 ^_^ My masters is the only reason I know how to edit videos :P

I wish I could

Well I can always teach you

Seriously?!

Yeah of course, I reckon you’d be great at making videos

Really? Lmao I’m so awkward tho

That can work in your favour, trust me :P

Haha well if you say so, YouTube senpai

Listen well Dan-kun and you too will learn the ways of the YouTube

Haha you’re so strange

You’re just jealous

[insert pic] so much

Stop taking pics at work

But it’s so boring. At least send me one back, save me from the dullness

[insert pic] on my way to a meetup so might be a bit slow

Oh cool meetup like YouTube meetup?

I guess that must be fun

I’d love to go to one but too scared and awkward lol

Save me work is literally killing me

I can’t actually keep working here

ugh why did I ever think law was a good idea I’m going to die at uni

Whoops sorry I seem to have spammed your phone

—

Hey Dan, sorry! I forgot to bring my charger to the meetup so my phone has only just come back to me. I mourned it’s passing *plays lion king music*

Oh that’s ok

I really am sorry that I couldn’t distract you from your work

Lmao no worries

Don’t know if it’ll make it any better but I am working on a new video and lion says he thinks law is a very admirable career option

Tell lion thanks and I’d be even more grateful if he did my degree for me

He says sign him up where are you going to uni anyway?

Well I’m not there yet. I have to start applying soon

Looked around any?

Errrr I’ll get on that

Isn’t the deadline soon?

Yeah but I’m an epic procrastinator

Lion is very disappointed

Lion can suck my dick

Dan!

Lmao I was kidding

besides you’re 18 you have loads of time to sort stuff out

Yeah but I have literally no idea what I’m doing

No one does. That’s why you go to uni - to figure it out

You seemed to have it all together

Haha thanks, but honestly, I was just making stupid videos in my bedroom

does that sound wrong?

Lmao a little yeah

Oops

Dw lol if you’re a sexual predator you’re a bit far away to do any real damage

True

:( I’d rather you were nearer tbh

Even if I’m a sexual predator?

Lol I don’t really think you are though

Well I’m not

And me too, Dan

—

[insert pic] last day at the office today I literally couldn’t be happier

Lol I can see from your face

[insert pic] is it that obvious

Rawr

I’ll send lioness to aid you

Lioness not lion?

She’s much fiercer

Lmao probs true either way I’ll take help

At least soon you’ll be free

Yeah I literally can’t wait

Gonna do something to celebrate? ^_^

Lol all my friends are at uni

[insert pic] well Lion and I are proud of you

Aw thanks ^_^ I still forget you’re AmazingPhil sometimes

I’m deeply offended

no but really I’m just Phil and you’re really cool

sorry

Na it’s fine I just had to work

Oops XD

I’m hiding out in the toilets now so we’re fine lmao

and I have no issues with you being Phil

I mean it could be worse at least you aren’t a creepy stalker

I hope not. Also uploading another video tonight, I think you’ll like it

!!! Best celebration ever

^_^

—

So I may have been stalking you on Twitter and it seems your birthday is soon?

0.o stalker. And yeah it is ^_^

wait you follow me? What’s your Twitter handle?

Um. Yes I follow you. And this is going to sound very awkward and stuff but I kind of want to send you a birthday present

Omg Dan you don’t have to do that

Well I’d kinda like to so :P should I use your PO box?

Nah that takes ages to check, I’ll give you my actual address

I promise not to hunt you down

Tbh if it’s you I wouldn’t even mind

Omg

[insert pic with address] there you go

Lol is that a bank statement?

Yeah I’m so profesh

Phil! I could literally rob you

Well I trust that you won’t :P

Lmao you’d better

What’s your Twitter handle btw? You never said

Uh its danisnotonfire.

But please don’t judge me oh god I’m such a nerd

Dan honestly you’re the coolest person I know

sorry was that a bit much?

No! I’m just struggling to respond to the best youtuber out there calling me cool

Not just cool, the coolest :P wow you’ve commented on my tweets quite a bit

>.<

Sorry I never noticed you properly

You accidentally texted me I think that wins

Haha true

—

Happy birthday!

Thanks! ^_^ I have family stuff but I’ll talk to you as soon as I’m done

Sure sure have a great day!

— DAN OMG

YOUR PRESENTS

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SHOULDN’T

[insert excited pic cuddling the presents] you’re amazing

you’re so amazing

I can’t believe you

honestly you’re too amazing

how did I ever meet someone this nice and funny and cool and kind and cute and sweet

honestly

and I know you must be sleeping it’s like 2am but I have to tell you

OMG you’re too adorable

who let you be like this and you’re too far away :(

I wish you could be here so I could give you a thank-you hug

Wow I’m glad you liked them :P I’ll take a thank-you hug

What are you doing still up?

Can’t sleep how was the party?

GR8 M8! My parents embarrassed me in front of everyone

Oh no what did they do?

Got the baby photos out >.<

Lmao I’d love to see that

I was ginger

OMG for real?!

Yes >.< *hides forever*

That’s adorable

You’re adorable

Your mum’s adorable

Actually shut up

:P aren’t you too old for immature arguments now

Go to sleep

Lmao I’m glad it was good though

Thanks yeah it was rly good

Looking through the photos now

Any good ones?

Mostly drunk XD [insert pic]

Who’s that guy?

My cousin

Lmao ok I was about to say hands off

XD he was really drunk

You look a bit worse for the wear too

I may be slightly intoxicated

Haha tut tut Lester

Shut up Dan :P what is your surname?

Howell

Howell? Like a wolf?

Lmao if you like

Awooooooo

You’re so strange XD

AwoloooooOooooOOOOO

it suits you though

you’re very brown

XD aren’t wolves grey?

Well yeah

but like

you have their wildness

Lmao I’m taking that as a compliment

You should

you’re hot as hell

but so young and sticky out

like a baby deer

A wolf and a baby deer?

And eyes like an owl

You and your animal metaphors

None of those are quite right though

Like your eyes are too pretty they’re more like the night sky

but coloured with earth

You’re drunk

I mean it though

…I know

I wish I had eyes like yours

No! Yours are perfect

They’re big and weird

They’re deep and beautiful and I could swim in them all day

and I’m not drunk

I should be sleeping

You’re sleep-drunk :P which is actually a thing you know

Right I’m going to sleep

Noooooooo

We’ll talk about this when we’re both more sane

But I don’t want you to go

it’s quiet and sad when you aren’t around

and I’m cold here now

and it’s my birthday

Dan?

Happy birthday you idiot. Now go to sleep

night Dan <333

—

I’m so sorry about last night I had too much to drink

Haha it’s ok it was your birthday

Yeah but still

I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable

You didn’t. There’s nothing to worry about

Do we need to talk about this?

Um. Do you want to?

Kind of

But kind of not

I don’t want to make you feel awkward

I’m always awkward

Dan, for real. You know what I mean.

Yeah I think I do

Do we need to talk about it?

I think we’re both aware it’s there. Let’s just see where it goes?

Yeah ok sounds good. And no awkwardness?

None at all, I promise <3

Good <3

—

Hey Dan, are you still up for Skype at some point?

Yeah, sure ^_^ tonight?

Yeah! I’ll just finish up editing

Ooh, what’s it like?

Haha spoilers :P what’s your Skype name?

Danisnotonfire same as Twitter

Original :P

added you

‘AmazingPhil has added you to his contacts’ you’re just as original I see

Shut up and answer the call

—

So my eyes are even bluer on skype? :P

Haha shuddup

They’re even more blue in person

Are they even blue lmao they’re like 3 different colours

[insert pic] mostly blue

Greeny yellow blue

Very poetic

Shuddup :P

sorry I’ll stop

Please don’t

Lol fishing for compliments?

Well if they’re being offered

You’re impossible

That isn’t a compliment

You’re ridiculously strange?

I’ll take that

Haha of course you would :P

So what are you up to?

Actually answering a few texts for once, you?

Throwing around some video ideas but I’m bored now. Who’re you texting?

Some school friends who are at uni

Nice ^_^

Well. Sort of. It’s weird

Tell me about it?

It’s just they all have these lives that are moving forwards and away from home and leaving me behind

and I just

My ex is dating someone else and I’m in exactly the same place as I was when she broke up with me

And I’m not content but I don’t really want to go anywhere or do anything and I just don’t know what on earth I’m going to do with my life

Were you happy with them before school ended?

Idk. I thought so at the time. But I don’t think I’ve ever really been happy, not yet

It’s ok. You don’t have to know right now. And one day you’ll leave all of them behind too and move on to something better

I think I already am. Having you around is better than them

Sorry

Haha don’t apologise for being so sweet ^_^

Also I’m single now. And bi. Just to avoid confusion

I’m bi too. Probably

Probably?

Not a massive fan of labels if I’m honest

If I feel something for someone then that’s all that matters

Might be demi, might be bi, might be somewhere inbetween.

And I don’t want you to worry about your future, ok? Everything is going to fall into place

And if it doesn’t I’ll be around to distract you with more lame animal comparisons

Haha I actually love you

Me too <3

—

Get on Skype!

Ok it’s late you’re probably sleeping

it’s just

ugh I don’t know who else to talk to so I’m going to rant at your phone like a completely normal person

but mum yelled at me for not doing my uni application yet

but I just don’t know what to do I mean law yes but how do I decide where?

This is huge

and I don’t want to rush into it

but she thinks I’m going to miss the deadline though there’re months left

and I just

ugh

now she isn’t talking to me

Dan I’m sorry I was sleeping. Skype now?

I really don’t mind you spamming my phone, please do, always, I’d rather you had somewhere to talk about this stuff

And you know, Manchester uni is good. I could show you around

—

I spoke to mum about going to look around the uni.

She asked where I would stay.

I kind of told her I have friends at uni there.

It’s a half truth right?

Awesome ^_^ Um do you think she’d like to know the truth?

Probably.

Idk.

She might freak out and be worried

Because you’re meeting a random man you’ve never met before?

Lmao when you put it like that

Are you honestly ok with this? It’s fine if you’re not

No no I’m so ok. I want to meet you. Like properly

I want that too. So much

So it’s going to happen. I’m buying train tickets

Awesome ^_^ but your mum?

Do you think I should tell her?

I think she’d be happier knowing where you are

Yeah. Yeah I know. I’ll talk to her

Give her my phone number too. And my address

Lmao you after more stalkers?

Dan I’m serious I want you to be safe

You spoon

yeah I’ll tell her everything. She might not be best pleased though

Dw if she locks you up I’ll come rescue you

—

I told her

!!! And?

She said yes

OMG!!!!! I’m out atm but Skype as soon as I get back?

Yes please :P

[insert happy pic]

—

Hey Dan you should make a YouTube channel before you visit me

?? Really?

Yeah I mean you always say you want to. And we could do a collab ^_^

For serious?!

Yeah! I mean, if you want to

I’ve been wanting to do a Q and A for a while and it would be fun I think

Omfg

Is that a yes?

Hell yes it’s a yes

Um only problem is

How do I even make a video?

However you want ^_^ you’ve told me loads of good ideas

But they’re so lame lmao

They’re really not. I promise.

Why not start with an introduction? Then you can go on to your actual content

Omg but like do you really think I could?

Honestly! Yes.

My mum’s going out in a minute so I’ll have the house to myself. I could film

That’s brilliant! I’m about to head out with mum but film whilst I’m gone and we can Skype later yeah?

Ok wow

omg

Phil this isn’t working I sound so stupid

fucking hell I can’t do this

You can! Act like you’re on Skype to me

Can we Skype?

Still visiting my brother sorry :( tonight we will

Ok. I’ll keep trying

You can do it! Pretend the camera is me. Or any friend. It’ll help

Ok <3

—

Holy fuck Phil I have views.

And subscribers! So many subscribers!

Told you!!

This is because you tweeted it

No, it’s because you’re really bloody talented

>.< I can’t believe I did that

You did and you’re awesome and I’m so proud of you!

Can’t wait to collab :D

Me neither, if you still want to I mean

Silly, of course I want to. Best thing about this month

—

Um so a bit of a change of plan

??? Do I need to cancel the train tickets?

No no! Just

Turns out my parents aren’t going to be here the weekend you’re visiting.

Is that a problem?

Lmao no why would it be

are you planning to ravish me or something

>.< I don’t think I’ve ever ravished anything in my life

Well you can start with me ;)

Dan!

Seriously though. Is it ok?

Yeah. Honestly it’s great.

Are you sure?

Are you?

Yeah I mean honestly it’ll be nicer to see you without having to get around them

I just don’t want to weird you out

You won’t

I hope not

Phil honestly I can’t wait

:D me neither

where are you btw? Skype isn’t picking up

Oh yeah, my internet is down, sorry

:O no wifi?!

No wifi. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive

I’ll spam you with texts

Please!

Actually I have something better

[incoming call: AmazingPhil]

—

I’m at the train station and it’s super early I’m not even sure you’re worth it

Sorry! I’ll make it up to you with hot coffee and hugs ^_^

Ok yeah you are worth it

Aw :D

On the train next to an old man who’s threatening to fall asleep on my shoulder

x_X tell him to keep his hands off

Lmao yeah I’m sure you’d really sort him out

I could be fierce

You’re literally a muffin with an emo fringe

I’ll fill your bag with bees

I’ll tame them into my own personal army

Then you’ll be our evil overlord

Mwahahaha

Can I be on your side when you take over the world?

Your lion powers could come in useful so yeah I guess so

Awesome we can run the world together

Yes :P

ugh the train is running late

:( by how much?

Twenty minutes atm

I’ll still get to the station at ten to

Well it might be running quite late by the time we get that far north

I don’t want to miss you. I’ll be there <3

I can’t wait

Me neither

Stuck in Stoke now. Literally the weirdest station I’ve ever seen

Haha really?

Yeah. And it’s packed. I had no idea this many people travelled this early on a Saturday, I didn’t even know this time exists

It doesn’t and you’re travelling in some other dimension right now

Shut up :P

Just waved my parents off. I’ll head out to the station soon

I’m so nervous

Me too <3

Promise you won’t run a mile?

Promise. I’ll see you soon Dan

See you soon

—

#phan #phan fluff #phanfic #2009 phan #phanfiction #iwritephanthings #runningintoyou

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