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#this is so deeply fucked in every way
earl-of-221b · 6 months
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I can’t explain what blue eye samurai makes me feel…….its a typical revenge story, a man sets out on his hero’s journey to kill the four men who have wronged him. A lone ronin, wide brimmed hat and sword in hand, roaming Edo Japan on his vendetta. But he’s not a man. He’s a woman. And how has he been wronged? What’s she getting revenge on?
On the fact that she exists. She wants revenge on the four white men that could possibly have conceived her. Who got her Japanese mother pregnant with a blue-eyed child. And not just any blue-eyed child, but a girl child. How is she possibly supposed to live in the world like that? For the wrong of being conceived, for the wrong of being born, for the wrong of being birthed into a world that will never love or accept her, she will kill her father.
I don’t know what level of convoluted self hate that is. Is she a child of rape? Or a child of a whore? Halfway through I realise what she told herself at the start couldn’t possibly be true - it’s not really for her mother. Her mother wasn’t the root of her vendetta, she wasn’t really doing it for her. When she leaves that farm and leaves the chance to live a simple, legitimate life as a woman, she goes right back to hunting down the men. Those men personally wronged her.
And then there’s so much to be discussed surrounding the way she grew up, because as a boy child and a man she can afford so much more than life has dealt her. Her swordfather who took her in out of the love and care in his heart had no shame in teaching a mixed man his art. The face of a ‘demon’ is fine. But not the identity of a woman. Shh. Don’t say it. Don’t confess. He knows and doesn’t want to hear it.
And because she’s lived that way her entire life for safety and security, she’s so completely alienated from being a woman, perhaps she really is he. But not really by choice. Or is it? The thing she does best is the art of killing, the art of men. Gender is a prison and gender is a performance and she has to choose which to perform. The times cannot reconcile hatred and violence with a woman. So she lives as a man.
So she can get revenge on her father, for revenge on herself.
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bardic-irritation · 1 month
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I'm sorry BARON WAS IN RIZ'S BRIEFCASE THE WHOLE TIME??!
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sylwanin-was-right · 1 year
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Im not sorry but people who keep treating Neytiri as "psycho" and "racist" and "evil" for how she treated Spider clearly do not understand how racism, trauma, nor colonialism works lmao
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jimmyandthegiraffes · 8 months
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autistic-beshelar · 1 month
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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jemmo · 1 month
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i finally got the time to watch love is better the second time around and im not at all shocked that im obsessed with the adult second chance at love jbl - have you met me.
but it also needs to be known that shiraishi is my beloved, the actor plays this role so perfectly and i want my bitchy sad gay to find true love
#love is better the second time around#also i adore the mains a whole fucking lot#iwagawa is the perfect mix of pathetic and desperate veiled in cocky and sophisticated#and miyata’s character is just a gem like the way he has transformed from his younger self is so refreshing to see#like this is a kid that was so pure and sweet and open and when he believed that all got trampled on he didn’t let it go to the extreme of#becoming hard and emotionless instead he really has just matured into an adult that actually cares for and values himself#like that hurt made him feel worthless but now he knows he isn’t worthless#like he internalised it through the way he protects himself from others but he does it both to not feel that hurt again but also bc he#thinks well of himself and i just adore the fact we get to see a timid kid grow into someone with self-respect it’s so cool and refreshing#and even when it comes at his detriment bc he won’t let himself believe iwagawa is being honest or that he’s ever been - that it’s all just#a joke or teasing or whatever it’s not frustrating bc you both get where it comes from but also feel like you can support him pushing him#away bc he does it for himself and for the person he’s become#so like… to watch a show where you’re both deeply rooting for the couple but also support when they push each other away… idk how they did#it but they did. the premise is simple and the show is simple but every moment and interaction is electric and thrilling and that’s the kind#of show i love. one that can convey how seemingly interactions are full of tension and stakes for these people. it’s so hard to convey that#but this show nails it and i just can’t get enough now.
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tricoufamily · 7 months
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once again thinking about how easy it would be for me to be in a relationship if i was cis
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silenthillbunni · 3 days
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer ��� why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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wereshrew-admirer · 6 months
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conflicting desires for lyke and duvall in sangfielle season 2:
-duvall low-key resenting lyke over the chine thing
-lyke high-key resenting duvall over the oratorio thing and EXPECTING duvall to resent him over chine but instead it's the same one-sided tension that they had on the jade moon
i want them to be involuntary friends. I want it to look like a huge 8ft tall straight* guy calling his obviously gay best friend a wretched bitch and everyone is a little uncomfortable about it except for duvall, who may or may not be behind lyke's bizarrely bad luck when it comes to flies landing in his drinks.
(*i don't think lyke is straight but i do think he's the type of bisexual man that people assume is straight)
#broken record voice#i don't often have trans headcanons actually but sangfielle is an exception...#to me the blackwick group is T4TvsT4TvsT+ marn#lyke is joyfully trans - he's 8 ft tall because he went overboard with the transition magic#pickman and duvall are both stealth because they grew up in oppressive societies#pickman is deeply uncomfortable how vulnerable it makes her feel - she doesn't exactly hide it but will kill u for mentioning it#duvall does hide it but only because he's been hate crimed#until sapodilla - after which he receives the most idealized form of instant-srs from the bugs that his gender euphoria sky rockets#and he doesn't tell anyone exactly but everyone in the blackwick group clocks him on the change#pickman hates it and thinks he doesn't deserve such an easy out#lyke wouldprobably be happy for him if he wasn't pissed over the oratorio#es is the most well adjusted and is privately very happy for him but polite enough not to mention it#chine is trans but in the “this animal does not experience human gender and it's inappropriate to even try to make sense of it” way#chine is also the only one who has seen duvall in every stage of transition and has been enthusiastically supportive the whole time#marn is cis but if any of them hadn't already transitioned then she'd be trying to treat it like a curse to be cured.#i think pickman has had the most traditional medical transition because she distrusts magic - until she meets marn who absolutely#already has a recipe for an hrt-charm and gives one to her#duvall did some sort of terrible black-market medical transition in aldomina - the kind where he had to lie to ten thousand therapists#to convince them that he was actually a straight man and so he should be allowed to transition because a straight trans guy is safer#to society than a lesbian?? that type of horrorshow. meanwhile he's exclusively mlm (or as exclusive as he can be while fucking chine)#which pickman would have respected because to be trans is to suffer for it but nooo instead she didn't even know he was trans until the bug#transition#es is just chill. duvall eventually got a magical bug transition? well es is the magical bug for syntyche#sorry this went way off topic#i am avoiding going to work can you tell? woops#this was all to basically say that i think it'd be funny if#before the bug transition duvall low-key resented lyke for having been able to access magic transition. some guys have all the luck
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ziracona · 1 year
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I’m going to be thinking about this
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One panel of comic for the next 8 years of my life
#Batman#Two-Face#batman gotham adventures#TwoBats#kind of???? Batman/Bruce loves him so much I can’t get over the innate tragedy and love of this relationship like you know what???#you know what’s ungodly good and fucked up???? that tragedy permeates every inch of Bruce and Harvey’s relationship more deeply than any#other element possibly could but one and the one thread thicker in the relationship’s entire being is love#it’s a tragedy it’s tragic but it is never /quite/ as fucked up and tragic and it is deeply deeply kind and sweet and full of love and the#kind of hope that only exists at all because of it. the way Bruce in BtAS immediately starts reading books on the disorder before he even#sees him again? the letting himself almsot get shot to get through? Telltale finishing his bloody fight in the ruined front hall of his own#home by telling him ‘I still believe in Harvey Dent’. ?? The way movie The Long Halloween Bats doesn’t even know Harvey /super/ well by most#human standards but Bruce has literally no friends and never had except Alfred and Gordon so to him this is one of his closest friends and#that’s not a joke it’s real? when he spends the entire last third of part 2 desperately trying to help and telling everyone Harvey’s his#friend and needs help?? it’s real. when he tells Gilda ‘he was my friend and I failed him’? when he compromises his code in a massive way#for the first time and let’s someone get away with murders so Harvey can retain the one little piece of anything he still has which is#having protected the perosn he loves? it’s real. he means it. that’s his best friend.#they’re so *makes incomprehensible upset hand gestures*
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xray-vex · 2 months
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HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME
#literally. re: email from my ex this morning#every day it takes every ounce of mental and emotional strength i have to get my ass out of bed and face the day#today i begin packing to move the fuck out of here#everything fucking hurts and i hate this so much#i'm not feeling brave about any of this#one of the worst things about a breakup is that it damages you for any potential future relationships#in the sense that “how can i ever trust anyone with my heart and my love ever again?”#as if it's not bad enough losing someone you thought would be in your life forever#but the deeply cutting betrayal of finding out that this person you actually trusted with your literal life had led you on FOR YEARS#ESPECIALLY in the sense that this whole scenario is giving me intense flashbacks to the ending of another relationship#that broke me so bad it almost killed me#and it's easy for them to say “i hope you find someone who makes you happy” when they have someone new in their life#if i believed i had prospects for a new romantic relationship then it would be a little easier for me to collect myself & regroup & move on#but i don't think i have it in me to go thru any of this again#and that gives me even more layers of anger and rage and grief#as if it wasn't enough to betray me and break my fucking heart#but it broke me FOR ANY FUTURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TOO#i know it's not productive for me to think that way#but right now i am fucking drowning in my fucking pain and fucking grief and fucking rage#i wanted stability and love and trust and someone to come home to every night and someone to come home to me every night#i just wanted to love and be loved#i wanted someone who i could call home#I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED#rage#grief#trauma#edward teach#our flag means death#ofmd
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gretahayes · 9 months
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like WHY did they bother making jason dig himself into a deep hole where any chance of reconciling and reconnecting with his family is near-impossible solely because of his own actions and choices if they weren’t going to do anything with it. why did they bother having him burn every bridge possible with the people that love(d?) him or could love him if they weren’t going to use that.
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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brookheimer · 1 year
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what is it with this past 24 hours and absolutely baffling takes on the last episode
#like y’all think kendall had every right to ignore rome’s wishes to not have the abuse leaked bc roman is living in a dream world where#logan wasn’t abusive and needs to be brought back down to reality???????? y’all think he loses the ability to have a stake in this decision#bc his abuse is so deeply internalized that he excuses logan’s actions for it??????? it’s one thing to say ken made the smart move but it’s#a whooooole other one to act like he didn’t even do anything bad at all. you do realize they explicitly mentioned leaking the physical#abuse right? you do realize rome was the only one (we know at least) to have been phys abused? you think kendall is right to leak that info#to the masses?????? that would literally define roman’s life. like he’d be The Roy That Logan Beat. how the fuck is he supposed to grieve#his very-recently-dead father let ALONE heal from his abuse if roman’s forced to relive it in the public eye 2 days after logan dies#like the experience of having that leaked will be infinitely worse roman than for kendall bc he will be singled out as the only one logan#hated enough to beat and boy do tabloids love physical abuse and kendall is WAY closer to coming to terms w the abuse than roman who#really really needs to work through that shit before idk it becomes public domain#like idk if that’s what WILL happen but it certainly fuckin could. we have no rzn to think it wouldn’t!!!!#this isn’t like a Uniquely Evil Move from ken or anything it’s a pretty classic succession maneuver i’m not saying he’s the devil or smth#like… at all. but it’s still not a Great Thing To Do? especially to roman?????#seen this take multiple diff times now. insane <3#it’s wrong to act like this is the single worst thing any character haa ever done (a take i have not seen but i digress) but it is also very#wrong to act like it literally wasn’t even bad#seen this take at least four times so i’m not talkin ab any one person or thing in particular just like… dude. cmon#succession#succession spoilers
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fellhellion · 8 months
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kind of obsessed w the way goro got served with a "you don't actually hate akira do you, i saw you smile when you realised he was alive" by the catsona of hope and just had a mental breakdown about it
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#its the misogyny yay#but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is#theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game#and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better#like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone#but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone#to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her#its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry#she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck#so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them#and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like#some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh#shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again#much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better#so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon#and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’#cuz whos gonna stop me
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